#also like im mentally ill and autistic so some shit i give the characters is vaguely me projecting tbh

[sp00ky-scary]

The Mad Hatter kinnie went off the rails

I am only recently familiar with Tetch so this took a lot of research, design discussion time !!

Prefacing this with the fact my Jervis is genderqueer and uses he/she pronouns.

As a child Jervis Tetch was bounced around the foster care system with his sister. During this time Jervis and his sister only had each other and they found comfort in fiction specifically the stories of "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" and "Through the Looking Glass and What Alice Found There". Jervis was especially attached to the stories, and the two siblings nicknamed each other "Hatter" (Jervis) and "Alice" (her sister who I don't have an actual name for yet). When they were younger the siblings would often hold pretend tea parties inspired by Lewis Carroll's works. As a child Jervis was often bullied often over two things, a combination of genetics and stunted growth because of a lack of food for years on end resulted in Jervis being particularly short (4'9 as an adult to be exact) plus her generally odd looks, and her being autistic and having some "weird" habits and quirks. The bullying and being in the foster care system and a myriad of other traumatic events and circumstances did nothing good for Jervis' mental health and over time he developed paranoid schizophrenia although his symptoms weren't too bad till later in life. As an adult Jervis managed to go to university and eventually became a neural scientist at Wayne Enterprises, she began developing her mind control technology during this time and hypnosis skills (idk how else to describe that).

As adults Jervis and "Alice" stuck together and shared an apartment (I would like to clarify there was 0 incest I don't fuck with that shit and I do not want to write a character like that, yes I'm using the sister idea but unlike Gotham (the show) there is no incest). Except this apartment was in a really shitty part of Gotham (I mean all of Gotham was shitty but like in one of the worst areas) and one day their apartment was robbed and Alice was murdered. This event triggered essentially a psychotic break and Jervis had an episode convinced he was the Mad Hatter, and he kidnapped women with similar features to his sister in his attempts to "find Alice" although she considered most to be "the wrong Alice" and they would be killed. She was caught though and thrown into Arkham pretty quickly.

Further explanation of her mental health just because I want to explain it. Jervis experiences periods of lucidity where he is calm, aware of his actions, and experiences minimal hallucinations. But then she also experiences bad episodes where he experiences extreme hallucination, delusion, lost time, paranoia, etc. His hallucinations are centred around Alice in Wonderland. During his episodes she will often take hallucinogens and other drugs to maintain and further her hallucinations (idk if that would work irl I haven't done much research into hallucinogens and schizophrenia but it sounds logical). His episodes vary in severity and can be quite mild sometimes and her extreme episodes are surprisingly rare. Anyway with his crimes Jervis uses mind control technology, although it's not full control it's more of an influence and a suggestion, if an individual has absolutely 0 inclination or want to do something then they more then likely won't do something, but human beings are complicated so usually they'll do what Jervis wants even if they require a little extra push to do so. Also generally Jervis speaks in rhyme and using Alice in Wonderland quotes, but these quirks are especially bad during his episodes where she speaks solely in rhyme and quotes.

Outfit time, I drew two Hatter fits because Jervis is essentially irrelevant before he's the Mad Hatter. She sticks to mostly blues and oranges and using patterns to create interest, although occasionally wears much more chaotic outfits both colour and accessory wise. I think overtime her outfits would become more disheveled and patchworked. In Arkham somehow Jervis made a paper mache hat, idk when or how but I'm guessing they let him keep it assuming if he's happy and calm then she's less likely to have an episode (although they've got her on so many drugs he's barely human anyway). Oh and the watch with his outfits is basically because his mind control is a combination between his technology as well as good old fashion persuasion and hypnosis, and just the watch helps with it.

As already stated Jervis is genderqueer and uses he/she pronouns, idk his sexuality I didn't put any thought into that probably aroace. Jervis has a complicated relationship with Scarecrow, their relationship is positive, they're very close but not romantic, I guess it'd best be described as a queer platonic relationship but honestly I don't think they've ever defined it or even discussed it. When lucid he has a tense friendship with the Riddler, when having an episode he's quite fond of the Riddler. Other than that she's friendly with the other rogues but not overly close with anyone. And that is all I have to say, fuck I wrote a lot about a character I barely even knew existed before a few months ago.

[cherrywperson]

OKAY SO UHH UR HCS(and opinions) ON ROB, IDAHO AND WILLIAM!!! HAND THEM OVER!!!

OKKAY 🫡🫡 im mostly gonna copypaste from my hc list in my notes

rob:

nonbinary but also hes kinda apathetic abt allat cuz no one would gaf to ask his prns and theyd probably forget + the void made him kinda more dysphoric mannnn

autistic + 8928 mental illnesses

knows how to cook and is pretty good at it ^__^ (he just doesnt rlly get the chance to cook anymore cuz yk....)

would bite ppl prevoid and still bites ppl postvoid (even more!!!)

likes plushies bcuz yk he had daisy in his bed in the nobody

gets nightmares about the void damn.. and he has this frequent dream of gumball actually saving him when he was in the void AGHH !!!!

was friends with molly (THEY WERE BFFS!!) and tobias too lol (i like to think they were eachothers dates in the party) . couldve also been friends with anais and tried to be friends with william at some point

perhaps... maybe.... theres someone out there who never forgot him .. (who is that person? i leave that up to you)

sometimes wears shitty shirts he finds at the dumpster

speaking of the dumpster he goes scavanging on it and finds silly shit like cds and other shit he keeps and takes "home"

all his money comes from wallets he found on the ground/stole

was def a theater kid . dramatic ass!!!! ACTUALLY hes an edgy emo fuck bro thinks hes a lone alpha wolf 💀💀

never takes a shower bro HE STINKS!!!!!!!!

has back problems cuz he sleeps on the cold concrete floor with no mattress 😭

hes mexican 🔥🔥 intolerant to spicy stuff though STUPID

his body hurts the whole time cuz of the constant static and glitching . and also he hears static the whole time he can NEVER catch a break

fucking loves loud music YAAHAHAHAHGD

due to him being a background character he doesnt have any family/relatives !!!! 😁

opinion on this stupid guy: when i got back into tawog this guy gave me rabies all the time, rn not so much unfortunely 💔 i still rlly like him though hes a fave of mine !! i like bullying him a lot ❤️

idaho:

when he saw bobert for the first time he thought he was going crazy bro was tweaking 💀💀

ppl throw him all the godamnn time like hes a rock

opinion: I NEVER THINK OF HIM SORRY 😭😭 i think hes funny idk man . i didnt know his name was idaho for years cuz they call him "papita" in the latam dub . the potato episode confused me SO BAD

william:

neutrois demiromantic aceflux (he/it)

connected to thr boid in a way? hes related to it?? either that or hes one of the first ppl to get sucked into the void 💀

he keeps trying to figure out a way to communicate with people without hurting them. like damn give him a notepad and a pen im sure he can hold a pen with his telekinesis . or have him carry around a tiny speaker

bobert could understand what hes saying and translate ^__^ juke could also try to be friends with william and bond over not being understood !!

hes good friends with teri too !! she takes the time to understand it and and theyre buddies and and yeah

he probably listens to weird obscure creepy music and plays it out loud to scare people sometimes lmao

opinion: someone SAVE BRO 😭😭 help him poor thang

[theraddestfemalive]

Y’know what? Fuck it. I’m going to say this

I don’t think any non-gc or tra lib gives a fuck about what im about to say, even considering that im going to tag the cr fandom.

I’m only adding one radfem tag because this post is centered around another topic.

i feel like ever since the trans population has tripled, it hasn’t been the same. Before any of you cucks think im talking about the idea of being trans, im also talking about the community behind it. Their ideas within the concept of it.

the concept of being ‘transgender’ was built on the foundation of sexist stereotypes; although the origins had a different purpose in ancient societies (varying ofcourse), it was ultimately used as a weapon to oppress women in the modern times, the goal was to make a person ‘feel’ like a male or female and now trillions of micro labels and gender identities are used to describe people who feel slightly above the normal and they’re treated as if they’re some kind of clothes that you put on instead of an identity.

Because of this, most people don’t even know what a woman or a lesbian is. They try to replace the definition of something that was exclusive to one sex to cater to the whims of men.

Ever since last year, most my friends that weren’t into that shit now identify as trans and I saw a dramatic shift in their personality. Most if not all of them were autistic women that did not conform of societal standards of what a ‘woman’ is. Some people may argue it’s because of how lightly a transgender identity is perceived. But on my end, I think it also has to do with the lack of representation of quirky female characters in media.

likely I would’ve fit into one of those micro labels or some shit like that but I was lucky enough to discover characters and things that I aligned with so I didn’t have to deal with shitty gender dysphoria (alongside with my very obvious mental issues and me being neurodivergent myself)

When I look at the older cookie run art (2016-2021), or even from eastern countries (eastern countries aren’t really politically correct) I could truly see the characters in the scene. There is passion behind it. The artists are either older or they know what they’re doing. And it doesn’t seem like an overload

when I see newer cookie run ‘fanart’ esp when there’s a lot of people within the western community, I don’t see a lot of what the characters truly are. All I see is their interpretation of what their character would look like if it was an unoriginal copy of a 14 year old gendie’s oc. Alongside with that, they add a thousand headcanons and sexualities, making the character unrecognizable. And if that wasn’t the cherry on top, they’re so obsessed with lgbtq and race stuff (no im not a bigot, don’t even try to fucking label me as one im a bisexual woc ) that’s all what they talk about besides stupid discourse topics. Oh, and also changing a dough color is ‘racist’ (they’re fucking COOKIES. Their dough color was based off of their ingredients and complimentary colors, even the devs had to explain and yet the western community still bitches about it like whiny 5 year olds. They come in all colors, not just fucking skintones.)

I think the characters and ships of the community would be much more likable for me if it wasn’t infiltrated by the discourse gang.

I think instead of giving drugs and cosmetic surgery to children, we should get deeper into the psychology of why there’s a lot of trans people on the rise. Don’t you think it’s weird that it has to be an ‘urgency’ to get surgery or children will kts? Maybe instead of thinking it as a life or death situation, think of how most of these people are mentally ill compared to the other lgbtq demographics.

I probably sound like a fucking dick here and im going to get a lot of hateful notes and messages, but honestly.. idgaf

Before you water this down to ‘trans people bad’ im just highlighting the problems of their community and its immense effect on teens my age (13-15 age range im not telling you) before dickriding the movement, I think *again* we should get deeper into the psychology of these people, thank you for reading.

maybe one or two people know who i am because of the image i will show below, who cares lol

i will block if I receive any threats :)))

[maschotch]

Curious to know, what is it you like about hotch so much :?

what a question

im a sucker for quiet competence, which hotch has in spades. he has so many skills that go under the radar bc everyone else shines so bright. they all excel in their specific areas, but hotch does a little bit of it all and i appreciate his well-roundedness

i like that he’s just some guy?? my normcore king?? i love that he’s boring and dull lol like wow he’s just like me fr. ok but seriously i just like his chill -_- energy. idk if the actor gave an incredibly nuanced performance or if im just insane but im a very big fan of how he deals almost exclusively with microexpressions. like he’s quiet but he’s also just as complex as the other characters. he represents uhh ahhhh how do i say this ermmm nonconventional autistic traits: it’s not the standard skinny white guy good doctor nerdy autism where they have perfect memory. it’s tacitly understated but still understood. i like when he fiddles with his fingers when giving a presentation.

i also like his mellow angst. it lingers in the bg without ever really getting directly addressed, but i looooove his mental illnesses <3 it’s mostly me just making shit up, but if you work backwards you can really create an elaborate tangled web of self loathing: taking on too much responsibility + needing to be in control -> blaming himself for everything + the hints of an abusive father + fucked up relationship w his brother -> atrociously low self esteem and self loathing + unintentionally insensitive comments from the team -> not-suicidal-but-not-NOT-suicidal-unit-chief. and he never takes it out on anyone else?? he’s so patient when dealing with other people. he takes care to speak lowly and appear nonthreatening since he knows he comes across as intimidating. as much as it has to do with altruism, it still stems back to how he hates himself. he’s just a boring old man i like to make sad

idk. maybe he’s not really that interesting and i’ve just brainwashed myself into thinking he has nuance lol

[cielles-random-vault]

meet the admin post (*^▽^)/★*☆♪

contains:

1- some things about me

2- my boundaries/ dni list

3- what i will write for!

☆ 1- some things about me !

im a lonely pal named kaheri online

my irl name is cielle- i don't mind being called this online but 🧍🏻‍♀️ please call me that only if i say so/ we are close

im a transmasc demigender/agender or pangender really struggling to find my identity rn but 🧍🏻‍♀️ im gay and go by any pronouns (neos included :D) except she/her

huhh im also autistic, have adhd and bpd so please bare with me ( ｡ﾟДﾟ｡)

i started writing ever since i was a kid and i crave online validation (/hj) so i decided to post online

atm i don't have a regular post schedule because if i did it'd be way too much pressure on my mental health so (　:ﾟ皿ﾟ) i try to at least post twice/three times a week but i ain't promising anything

+ don't be mad at me if there are any spelling mistakes im not a native speaker and ?? even though i was i wouldn't give a shit that's my blog 🤓 /lh

my requests are always open unless stated otherwise ! please refer to the third part for what i will write about :>

also speaking tones are very much appreciated 🫠 /lh

☆ my boundaries/dni

dni stands for do not interact which means well i don't want people who do things above

homophobic/"neos aren't valid" people

"only cis women have their periods" ppl

adults‼️ following/liking/reblogging my stuff is more than ok but i draw the line at dming me

UNTITLED/BOTS LIKE BLOGS YALL GO STRAIGHT TO BLOCKLIST /nm

uhhhhhh thats all ? i'll update it later

oh and also "self diagnose isn't valid 🤓☝🏻" stfu you stupid ahh ableist

☆ what i will write for!

i can write for pretty much anything but if it's not something from the list please provide me a little information on the characters because it won't be accurate if i do research on my own

SPIDERMAN INTO/ACROSS THE SPIDERVERSE OMG PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REQUEST ME STUFF FROM IT

i can write for any characters except the spot because well.

uhhh i most likely won't do full fics on demand except i reallyy like what you're proposing. also i won't write anything with gwen don't ask why i just really hated her behavior.

uhhh i can write both nsfw and sfw js specify :D also this goes without saying but if i write nsfw it will be in an aged up au!

the amazing world of gumball!

i loved this series ever since i was a child so <3 <3 OBVIOUSLY NO NSFW?!?! and hum yea hcs only

overwatch !

it was my previous hyperfixation so >:)

mmm i'll only write stuff for hanzo, mc cree, kiriko and- i forgot

yea i can write nsfw with no problem 🙆🏻‍♀️

south park omg

it was also one of my previous hyperfixations

so 🙆🏻‍♀️ huh ill only write for the four main characters and prob wendy 🕺🏻

aged up au if nsfw 🦅

CHAINSAW MAN

uhhh yea any characters but i didn't read latest chapters so yea (　ﾟﾛﾟ)!!

nsfw ? idk i'll see

ok i think that's all? have a nice day ( ﾟ∀ﾟ)人(ﾟ∀ﾟ ) <3

[browserfreak]

can we stop saying this fucked shit in the year 2024??? yeah we get it girlinspo on instagram, you like using mental disorders as comebacks. maybe you fucking shouldn't.

as an autistic person, I see people freak out when someone calls something fictional 'autistic', but not calling a living, breathing person 'narcissistic' or 'paranoid' or anything of that nature. I'm fucking sick of people using these words as a casual little thing, a character trait, an ADJECTIVE. Paranoia SUCKS ASS. OCD SUCKS ASS. BPD SUCKS ASS. and WHY does it suck ass? Because half of the ass sucking is the world being full of ignorant little shits that won't recognize their struggles. That leads us to the OTHER half where they struggle to live or get help for their worse symptoms because of ignorant people.

Due to the popularization of 'tiktok psychology', shit like THIS is so so prevalent in every online space. It pisses me off to no end how people just use these real disorders as fucking throwaway adjectives, despite them being REAL DISABILITIES and MENTAL ILLNESSES that are in the minds of REAL PEOPLE. They call their ex a narcissist, they give signs of OCD and it's only 'likes to keep things organised', they call their child ADHD because they like causing trouble. Again, TikTok reduces everything it touches to a steaming hot rotting corpse that eats the flesh of the people who are involved.

Also, quick thing on Paranoia, paranoia DOESNT equal schizophrenia. Some people DO experience hallucinations, but mostly paranoia is delusion. Of thinking there's always someone watching you, or behind you, or that the world is fake. ITS NOT QUIRKY. Its FUCKING ANNOYING. Do you think I enjoy sweating my ass off thinking about if God is judging my every move???? NO!

I'm out for fucking blood bitch. Nobody disrespects my fellow mental disabled people like this. Fuck Off!!!!!!!

Anyone reading this post who is not mentally ill / disabled, think, WHAT LANGUAGE DO YOU USE EVERYDAY THAT COULD AFFECT PEOPLE LIKE US? I get not having any disabled friends by sheer coincidence, but maybe at least talk to people like us or read our blogs / stories. Being educated and accepting will make you feel better, will make other people near you feel better, and you'll discover some things about society.

(by the way this is NOT about self-diagnosers. I love you, self diagnosers, im so sorry that this shitty system doesn't allow you to get the help you need, or at least find out whether you have it / possibly have it. Also if you find the person who made the original post do NOT harrass them. this is towards the whole "culture" around it and not this specific post)

[doggirltaurgirlsheath]

copying this from my oc worldbuilding server, all originally under a spoiler but ill put this under a readmore. this is like, p venty so dont expect much sexy, just explaing some lore for the character i use as an icon on here and another "if you wanna ask me about my characters heres everything about them" call

ruby's whole bit is largely me dealing with the like. adhd/autistic feeling of being wasted potential, the "where would i be if my brain just worked" kinda thing.

ruby is a roxanne from fnaf unit (because ive always imagined those being semi-mass produced and shipped off to the entertainment complexes) who was broken and malfunctioning from the getgo. not in like a snaps and murders people kinda way, just had alot of performance issues and the voicebox never worked and the battery always seemed to be drained and they couldnt figure out how to fix it, so they just left her out and eventually she was bought by a resturant who didnt mind and just wanted a robot in general.

she never performed, she wasnt cut out to do so, she was mostly treated as a restoration project by whoever bought her. as always happens in these sorts of things, she gained sentience and was allowed to just do her own thing. importantly, the issues that plagued her from the beginning were never fixed. shes still mute and is always on low, power saving mode but still needs to recharge every two weeks ish apposed to the two months the functional animatronics need.

she keeps to herself and is largely removed from whoever bought her, so i havent felt the need to establish much about them. over time shes become her own thing but that looming feeling of not living up to the full potential she could be it has always been there. recently theres been alot of big stressful shit happening in my day to day and its been nice having a character to be in the headspace of "despite not having any effort to give, youre still appreciated" sort of thing

and the pinups and specific kink art ive gotten of her have been an extension of me also going thru a "wait im ace in a really specific way" arc and being able to put those feelings somewhere in a character i was already going to get the tits drawn of anyway.

if you have any questions or any thoughts to lend, im very open to discuss and worldbuild, just keep in mind shes come from a very specific mental state ive been in for a hot moment and not the usual Hotted Woman Sexy Style i tend to make.

[emmkitt]

[pulls out my ‘i am diagnosed autistic’ certification card] i am qualified. okay lets do this.

i think this is overthinking things way too much and i strongly disagree. youre allowed to feel however you wanna feel but like. at the end of the day i dont think mephone was meant to be. like. symbolic of autism/someone with autism. Like, he wasn’t made with that specific intention in mind.

YOU CAN HEADCANON HIM TO BE AUTISTIC OFC. i do too 😭. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. but i dont think the writers wrote this to be some insane ‘autism EVIL!’ conspiracy allegory. even if he WAS confirmed canonically autistic, i STILL dont think the alien egg thing would be them trying to demonize autism; it just happens to be lore relevant. what should they do instead? no lore allowed? no fun? i’d quite like to have a character like mephone be canonically autistic, cause i think hes a damn good representation of what its like. you LITERALLY feel like an outsider from everyone around you, like you’re different. (much like the fact his contestants all werent real but he ‘sort of’ is. Theyre all still made the same way, theyre all artificial, but it still feels like theres some disconnect. Me personally, thats how it feels sometimes.) also mephone is just an interesting character. it beats being represented by some mocking stereotype or some side character who appears for 5 minutes and never comes back ever again.

im honestly getting tired of takes like these that try to say shit like ‘knife is canonically misogynist’ or ‘test tube is canonically ableist’ or ‘animationepic is this/that for writing this!’ and “it makes you EVIL to like this character or this ship or this show,,,” all these crazy claims when i dont think that was the writer’s intentions AT ALL. they’re just coincidences and how you choose to interpret the media. knife was just written to be an asshole. test tube had her judgement clouded cause her best friend (husband) got ‘unfairly’ voted out so she was a bitch to cabby. i dont think its always as deep as people try to make it out to be.

if you wanna intepret a character or situation one way, thats FINE. but it so strange to try and frame a VERY COMMON TROPE as the writers trying to be ableist or anti-tism or conspiratory or whatever.

i said this in my mephone4 age thing and ill say it again. we cannot apply real world standards to fictional universes. mephone being the egg alien guy is just cause the plot calls for it and because its a fictional universe. i dont think animationepic is trying to demonize autism or whatever.

i went on a ramble and i understand op is just stating their own opinions but i feel the need to put this out there before the ii neg people get their grubby hands on this and try to call AE ableist or some shit LMAO. at the end of the day, its a kids show, and i really dont get the impression from AE that theyd be the type to intentionally put some anti autism propaganda in their show.

oh also as an autism i have never heard of this conspiracy theory op is referencing, so i highly doubt AE has heard about it either.

maybe my take sucks and im wrong though. idk. im tired

oh and quick edit. takes in general like these are harmful. it makes writers feel like they need to walk on eggshells to write literally anything related to like. mental health. or whatever topic. or just makes them feel like you cant write ANYTHING without it unintentionally being ableist or homophobic or something because someone interprets it that way. obviously, if something is genuinely harmful, point it out, but we should also be encouraging people to attempt to write these sorts of topics. especially smaller creators who are trying their best to give us representation, we shouldnt be calling them EVILLL for trying. otherwise no one will want to try to write, say, autistic. or gay. or whatever characters.

ok im done now sorry if i got off topic

Does shimmer4 mildly gross out anyone else. Like not because its a bad AU concept no it's neat. But it keeps reminding me of those conspiracy theories about autistic people being aliens who were sent to earth or some shit. U know. Starseed. like it gives me a little ick. at first i thought it was just because my hc doesnt align with that but no there's a valid reason

.

[campyvillain]

Also, while I’m at it (no this isn’t a joke stop making it out to be that.) Why are you so insistent that all of your favorite uwu boy killers have autism? Because at that you’re either fetishizing autism or you’re demonizing the poor people that have it. They already have it hard enough. It’s ableist, honey. Fucking stop.

ANON LISTEN TO ME ANON LOOK. LOOK WHATS IN MY ABOUT.

IM AUTISTIC. I AM LITERALLY AUTISTIC. I GOT DIAGNOSED WITH IT WHEN I WASNT EVEN OLD ENOUGH TO WRITE MY OWN NAME. I HAVE KNOWN I HAVE AUTISM MY ENTIRE FUCKING LIFE. I AM ONE OF THE “poor autistic people >_<” YOU ARE TRYING TO “DEFEND” HERE. why do you think i regularly talk about my experience w mental illness and being nd??? for clout? to gain sympathy points or some shit???? no!!! it’s because i’ve had to put up w this shit since day ONE.

i am autistic so i have every right to project my struggles onto characters i like. there is nothing wrong with me just going “hey! this funny guy i like has what i have i think!” even if the characters i project onto are ‘violent’ or whatever. as i stated before i have a special interest in the horror genre as i basically grew up w it nd i find a lot of comfort and fun in it so you, as someone who is not autistic - as far as i can tell from what you’re saying to me and the wording you’re using - have no ground to police me or my actions when it comes to this sort of thing because when i hc one of my fav characters as autistic, it is not “demonizing autistic people” because all i am doing is seeing myself in a character based on their actions and that’s as far as it goes. how the hell can i demonize myself and my condition.

you know what’s really embarrassing here??? this fake activism shit, anon. you clearly seem to view autism people as a monolith and not as individuals. because if you had like 5 seconds to click on my about, you wouldn’t have sent this knowing i’m autistic, or at least I hope you would have the common sense not to. you’re clearly the kind of person who thinks that autistic people need to be ‘Protected at all costs’ or that we can’t speak for ourselves and i’m dead tired of having to put up w ppl like you. i shouldn’t have to even type this out to you. you talk about ppl that have autism like they’re victims, like they’re sad puppies or some shit, and that they need to be saved by non-autistic people and guess what? by doing that YOURE part of the problem. i do not need your help. you are doing nothing to help me or people like me by going after me like this. if this is what this insistence that i’m a bad person because of my interests is all about??because if it is you need to get your act together. i don’t give a shit if i come off as ‘mean’ or bitey to you cuz i don’t take this sort of accusatory garbage kindly at all. just log off at this point LMAO

[latulasbian-1]

A Kankriversation Had On Discord

Long post beneath the cut bc its just. straight up like a half hour’s worth of back-and-fourth 

Friend: OH GOD OH GOD REV GOT TO MEENAHQUEST Friend: OH GOD HES MET KANKRI I GOTTA Friend: I GOTTA SEE Friend: "why the fuck is he written like this?" Friend: "i feel like this entire section is a jab at tumblr" Friend: rev does not seem to enjoy this Friend: "what i was expecting was just a raging asshole, like karkat 2 yaknow?" Friend: REV DOES NOT HATE KANKRI *confetti ball emojis*

Friend: people are taking away from kankri's character "kankri acts like a good person but is an asshole, and karkat acts like an asshole but is a good person" and they are wrong. Friend: I Friend: REV JUST COMPARED HIM TO ZEBRUH Friend: I AM Friend: -dies- Friend: HOW Friend: I UNDERSTAND COMPLETELY BUT ALSO HOLY SHIT Friend: ok i cant watch longer i am dying Friend: it doesnt help that hes reading this section with a homestuch fan who seemingly hates kankri

Friend: i just need to give up and accept the fact that everyone hates kankri Friend: and i am the only smart person in the whole world :cry emoji (zan’s note: to indicated both light emotional melancholy but primarily as a tone indicator of semi-sarcasm): Friend: erugvwilarghvaleb Friend: no wonder i like zebruh (ZAN’S NOTE: MY BUDDY HERE LIKES ZEBRUH AS A FUNNY ASSHOLE DOUCHEBAG WHO SUCKS NOT LIKE. IN A WAY THAT CONDONES HIS BULLSHIT JUST FELT LIKE I SHOULD MENTION THAT. UNLIKE FOR INSTANCE LANQUE, WHO DOESN’T NECESSARILY FEEL LIKE HES MEANT TO BE THE WORST LIVING BEING IN EXISTANCE AND IS ALSO TRANSMASC WHILE BEING A FUCKING SEX FREAK. ZEBRUH’S MEANT TO BE HATED SO ITS AT LEAST FUCKING FUNNY.)

Friend 2 (hasn't actually read homestuck): I like Kankri

Friend: me :handshake: you & the 3 other people who read this channel smart as fuck and our meat is huge wrfralrv,juaBVRE DGS

Me (Zan): hhhhhhhhhhh Me: WHY DO PEOPLE CONSTANTLY INTERPRET KANKRI LIKE THIS Me: ITS. FUCKING. NONSENSE

Friend: I think people assume hes supposed to be like?? lying??? or using big words to try and make people like him more/?? Friend: but thats. never actually in the text? Friend: like yeah he constantly says "in this essay-i mean conversation" or "during this lecture-i mean discussion" but???? Friend: that does not a liar make??????????????

Me: its literally just. gahhhh Me: noone fucking r Me: theres no REASON to think hes lying

Me: except. that sjws are all just bigots who lie to make themselves look better (Zan’s note: this is sarcasm meant as a dig at people falling for the stonetoss-tier anti-social justice strawmanning that kankri gets. I do not think sjws are all just bigots who lie to make themselves look better.)

Friend: people just really dont wanna be confronted with the fact that if u think racism bad andrew hussie thinks youre a pussy ass bitch everyone hates

Me: YEAH Me: WHICH??? Me: THESE PEOPLE, LIKE EVERYONE, KNOWS THAT HUSSIE SUCKS AND HATES HIM

Friend: so they pretend kankri is actually some really genuinely good criticism guys i swear he-hes not just a mean caricture of a tumblr user who writes essays on why racism is bad i swear he-hes like, a criticism of men who co-opt actual arguments to get people to wanna fuck him ignore the part where kankri is celibate guys i swear hes a horny racist douche please believe me guys andrew hussie wouldnt hate me in real life hed love me i swear

Me: BUT THEY JUST FUCKING. REFUSE TO REALIZE THAT TINY PIECE OF LOGIC THAT “OH ALMOST EVERYRHING THAT KANKRI SAYS IS RIGHT AND HUSSIE IS A DOUCHECANOE”

Me: YEAH ITS SO FUCKING WIERD

Friend: i feel like another part of it is kankri criticcizing mituna

Me: WHICH

Friend: like "oh haha kankri is abelist u see thats PROOF thats PROOF hes a racist abelist douch just lying for attention you SEE" a

Me: IN UNIVERSE Me: IS BAD

Friend: and mituna is like

Me: BUT Me: ITS MADE FUVKING MOOT

Friend: mituna.

Me: BC MITUNA LITERALLY IS AN ABLEIST STEREOTYPE Me: HUSSIE LITERALLY WROTE AN ABLEIST STEREOTYPE AND EVERYONE TRIES TO SAY THE ONE CHARACTER WHO RECOGNIZES THAT TO BE THE REAL ABLEIST I

Friend: mituna "autistic/brain damaged/tourettes stereotype who's main joke is he falls down a lot and is mentally ill ahaha"

Me: *just an ocean of angry emojis*

Friend: is it because hes nice to cronus??? like?????? Friend: in that case everyone should HATE meenah Friend: for.... ALSO BEING NICE TO CRONUS??????????/ Friend: LIKE????????????

Me: oho but you see Me: meenah is un-pc murderous genocidal and a childfucker, so she only gets a little bit of the hate kankri “said ableism is ableist and never stops trying to get his friends to be better people despite everything” vantas gets

Friend: GRAAAAAA Friend: WHY ARE HOMESTUCK FANS SO FUCKING STUPID

Me: in this instance i have 0 fucking clue Me: like. its fucking OBVIOUS

Friend 3 (hasn’t read homestuck): It's the ableism

Me: except.... most of these people dont even like mituna........ Me: like as “rep”.... Me: these are people who’d call out ableism literally everywhere else.... its. gahh Me: i stg i’m going to become a video essayist just to try to EXPLAIN this shit

Friend: IM SORRY TO SAY THIS HOMESTUCK FANDOM, BUT MOST OF THE PEOPLE ON TUMBLR WHO WERE WRITTING ESSAYS ON WHY ABELISM AND RACISM IN MEDIA WAS BAD Friend: WERE RIGHT Friend: AND IF YOU DIDNT LIKE THEM FOR THEIR BIG WORDS Friend: YOU SUCKED Friend: zebruh is like a fucked up and evil version of kankri where instead of caring about politics and people's mental health he just acts like he cares about lower caste trolls to try and get laid, and in actually his is a racist mean and clingy rich bastard who cant stand being held accountable for his fake beliefs Friend: OH WAIT Friend: THATS JUST FUCKING CRONUS Friend: this is all your fault u bastard. i dont know how the fuck you got away with this shit i hate you so much  

Me: fdg;hljk Me: ben i'm wondering if i can transcribe our duotribe to tumblr

[simkjrs]

ch6 asks, cont’d.

Anonymous said: read the latest chapter and honestly even though im screaming in agony, i absolutely love this drama. i really cant wait to see where youre going with this. it also makes me happy to see you make so many good characters autistic, it feels nice to be able to relate to actions. also, izuku's entire internal conflict in this chapter? BIG MOOD.

fdjdkljf happy to hear someone’s enjoying it!! also, thank you for the feedback -- it’s nice to know that i’ve done alright,representation-wise. :^)

Anonymous said: just wanted to tell you that i'm at the spot when izuku basically tells it like it is to kacchan. and it's pretty much spot on. from what i can tell. from real life experiences. I sincerely hope that this time in your life is past if you've had to experience something like this or you have people you can turn to. otherwise, dude, you are scarily good at writing. i'm seriously afraid of how this conversation is going to turn out. the chapter's really beautiful and honestly just inspiring. thank u

this is such a nice ask i didnt know what to do with myself after reading it? 

no comment on my real life situation except that everything’s fine right now. i haven’t experienced everything that izuku is dealing with (or at least.. not to that degree?) SO i’m just extrapolating beyond my own life & experiences, and also incorporating what i’ve learned by reading through accounts by people who have actually lived through these things. thank you for writing in, and thank you for your concern 

@ceilingbattles​ said: I just wanted to say thank you so much for the new chapter <3 honestly its my favourite fanfiction, and I just really appreciate all the work you put into it, its amazing!!! (I don't have an ao3 account, just really wanted to let you know). Also just wow. that was a chapter. 100% worth it, I will read it repetitively on my phone as I have the rest of the fic.

thank you!! it’s really nice to hear that, and i feel incredibly honored to have written someone’s favorite fic. i hope it continues to live up to your expectations!

Anonymous said: i feel like byggualom! izuku and suneater would get along very well. kindred spirits kinda thing

both of them have massive anxiety so they can definitely empathize with each other, and i think izuku would do his best to accommodate suneater! it would be really exhausting for izuku though, i think, so while they’d get along well i don’t know if they’d be good for each other for extended periods of time. anxiety echo chamber

@aliceofbrokendreams​ said: Can I give you a hug? Cause if writing the first half invoked as much emotion as it did in me reading it, you should have one.

yeah... it was really hard writing this chapter. thank you 

@slightlyobssesive​ said: I would just like to say that this chapter took me four hours to read and then another one to compose myself to type this. On one hand I absolutely adore you because some parts had me so happy and the portrayal of Izuku's abuse is handled so well. On the other hand though I am cradling my heart that has been shattered into about 3 million pieces and screaming why because this chapter emotionally destroyed me. I cannot properly express my current feelings in this small amount of space just WHYYYY

im sorry but also im completely not sorry, THANK YOU FOR READING DESPITE YOUR DEEP PERSONAL SUFFERING 

and also thanks for your feedback re: the representation of izuku’s abuse! i’m glad i was able to convey it well!

@abrcmhatford​ said: i uh wanna say that i really appreciate how you're handling izuku's reaction to realizing that yeah, it was abuse, because people brush over the recovery a lot, and i've been in izuku's shoes and i think you captured the entirety of it really well. it's rough and it's really hard and it's still hard and i like how you didn't just ignore the gritty details and kept pushing. thanks

yeah! i wanted to write something that was about recovery, and moving forward, and doing your best despite your circumstances. i pulled on my own experiences with depression and other things to try and write this, and what i learned, so... i’m happy to hear it resonated with someone else too. i hope that you’re out of that situation now, and that things are better for you. thank you for your feedback. it means a lot to me. 

@angryqueermermaid​ said: you. absolute motherfucker.

alright now that name calling is out of the way I must say that you have the BEST portrayal of depression and anxiety I have EVER seen. like. holy shit my guy. the entire ch I was just like. "same? same. SAME." and, well, while that was a fucking kick in the pants, it was so.... confusingly cathartic??? in a good way??? to watch izuku struggle with the shit I have felt, in ALL aspects of life like being vunerable and/or high energy/socialization settings. fucking. GOD MY KOKORO.

FUCK WHAT I'M TRYING TO IS THAT YOU DID GOOD

i once saw a quote that said something like, “if you want to make someone a monster to society, first make sure they never see themselves in your stories.” it’s a morbid quote, but i feel like it explains well why it’s so meaningful when you see yourself reflected in a story. i know the first time i read a chinese-american protagonist, and one who wasn’t interested in romance to boot, i was in junior high and it made me so happy because i’d never had that representation before. 

that’s one of the reasons i write so many characters with mental illnesses or trauma -- i don’t see enough of us in mainstream stories, and i think those stories need to be told, just so we can remember that we aren’t alone. i’m really glad you found catharsis reading chapter 6, and that i was able to catch some of those struggles you go through. thank you for writing in!

Anonymous said: OF COURSE YOU POSTED YOUR LONG-AWAITED SIXTH CHAPTER IN JUNE

and yet, i missed the anniversary!!!! a failure!!!!

Anonymous said: sometimes I just go to your blog to make sure you're okay. like of you're blogging then you're either okay or trying your hardest

i’m not actually sure if this was a ch6 asks but it was sent with the rest so. thank you. it soothes me to know that someone out there is thinking of my wellbeing, because i sure don’t and i guess someone has to. (but in all seriousness, that’s really sweet)

Anonymous said: Hey! I just wanted to let you know that I loved the chapter 6 a lot! As a writer, I can understand not being entirely happy with your work, but as someone who recently got out of a very unhealthy situation, it makes me happy that you put it up anyway! Izuku's recovery mimicked mine in a lot of ways, especially the coming to terms with it. His talk with Yagi about grief hit very close to home, but also was very inspiring, if that makes any sense!! So sincerely, thank you so much! ^u^

i’m really happy to hear that!! i tried to catch the feeling / moment i had when i was getting through my depression, where for two weeks or so i was so miserable all the time and just wanted to... stop. it’s hard to explain, but one day i got up in the morning and knew that i was just tired of all this, tired of stagnating in the same place and tired of being miserable all the time, and maybe i couldn’t get rid of my depression but at the very least i had to try. if i was able to convey any of that through izuku’s conversation with yagi, then i’m satisfied. thank you!!

Anonymous said: Thank you for sharing your writing with us

and thank you for appreciating it! <3

@chocowl​ said:  From start to end this was a rly good chap. The recovery process, the relationships, and everything else was so good. I esp liked how Izuku mobilised his network and how Katsu got some Consequences. And Mitoki... much gold as always! Altogether: thank you for this journey! I loved it and i love you for creating such amazing content. Ihope you have an amazing day and time! :) xoxo

(sorry i split up your asks into two different posts! categorization purposes...)

i’m really glad you enjoyed that!! i worked so hard on the emotional atmosphere of this chapter, haha. glad to see it paid off. <3 <3 thank you for all your feedback, too, and also the really nice art you’ve made for me!

Anonymous said: someone made a pinterest board for The Fic! it looks p small rn (111 pins?) but its kinda cute

i don’t have a pinterest account so sadly i can’t zoom over and check it out, but wow... i’m really honored!! thank you for letting me know! 

Anonymous said: later, when Eri comes in- what would happen if byggualom!izuku was shot by Eri's quirk-removing drug? everyone's expecting something to happen but Izuku would be fine, considering he has no quirk (as far as he knows?)

muscular used izuku’s body to smash a concrete sidewalk into smithereens and izuku didn’t have so much as a scratch, one of the quirk-removing drugs’ bullets wouldn’t even have a chance. so actually, everyone’s question would be “what the hell is up with your skin” 

anyways, if you’re wondering if we’ll ever get a reveal, don’t worry. it’s coming. :^)

[herefortheace]

hi, i know ur not a writing blog but u seem to know things. im writing a character whos black, autistic, mentally ill, and ace, but now im wondering if that might contribute to some desexualisation issues re: his disorders & race. hes also gay & in a same-sex relationship, which i worry about desexualising too. should i give up on having him ace? or do you have tips on how to avoid desexualisation if i were to keep him ace? thank you, i know this isnt the type of question u usually get haha

Heyy, I’m really not great with this kind of advice, ha. And I’m not gonna speak about groups I don’t belong to with this. Speaking of which, idk to which of the marginalized groups this affects you belong yourself. This does make a difference. Like as an ace mentally ill black woman I will write about mentally ill black characters who are ace and anyone who’d tell me I inherently can’t do that would be so full of shit. As I said before, being ace is not the same as being desexualized and conflating the two is actually really damaging. However, people being concerned about someone who doesn’t belong to the the same oppressed groups as them not giving them good representation is 100% understandable, especially when it’s easy to mess up. Most of us have a lot of bad experiences of course with how we get portrayed in media.

Ummm so yeah it’s complicated? Personally with black and mentally ill characters I’m generally wary when the groups being portrayed weren’t involved in the making of the story so to speak. Either as an author or as people who gave feedback and criticism directly.

And while there’s a big issue with desexualizing black people (the stereotype of the “mammy” is a really gross one), it’s also important that black people often get sexualized (see the Jezebel stereotype). So like… a bad portrayal of asexuality is not the only thing in that respect that can be harmful.

I think the writing blog “writingwithcolor” had an article about ace PoC or several?? That’s the kind of stuff I would research - also how the groups in question are commonly desexualized.

And yeah I can’t say anything about your specific character since he’s also gay and autistic, which I can’t speak on, but I will say I 100% want ace representation when it comes to black mentally ill characters. I want good ace representation for the groups I belong to. And that is absolutely possible. Sadly ppl like messing up the portrayal of black and mentally ill characters in general and a bad (keyword bad) portrayal of asexuality can do a lot of harm here. Because yeah definite nasty history there.

So yeah idk how helpful this is sorry? Perhaps ppl reading this want to add something or disagree about something. As you say I’m really not a writing blog and have never tried to give advice like this before