#also know i don't usually post this sort of stuff so if theres anything else i should mention or good resources just dm me

[tontalunar]

Kansas Senate Bill 233

The latest version of the proposed bill - PDF

Introduced by Senator Thompson and sponsored by the Committee of Health and Human Services, SB233 targets trans-Kansas under 18 by restricting their right to medical attention and threatening Kansas medical providers and state employees who provide care with lawsuits and revocation of their licenses. Gov. Kelly has vetoed the bill, and legislation is currently working to overturn said veto.

If SB 233 were to become law, this would ban...

Puberty blockers, HRT, and other medical necessities.

The usage of insurance from being used to cover necessary healthcare and prescriptions.

Institutions and individuals, such as social workers, therapists, teachers, counselors, and more, from receiving state funds to promote or advocate for social transitioning and essential healthcare.

This extreme, transphobic law prohibits freedom of speech and expression, affects parental rights, limits the ability of state employees to serve Kansas children, and most of all, hurts trans youth.

Help protect Kansas trans youth, their medical freedom, and their rights from Kansas legislators determined to politicize them and use the lack of public knowledge on this issue for their own agenda.

Contact Information

You can also use this pre-written message by ACLU Kansas

⭐ADDITIONAL RESOURCES⭐

National & KC-Area

Human Rights Campaign Resource List PFLAG Trans Health Resource List GLAAD Resource List Lambda Legal National Center for Transgender Equality Transformations, KC Resources EQUAL Trans Support Group Trans Youth Equality Foundation Kansas City Anti-Violence Project The Transgender Institute - Kansas City, MO ⭐ (816)-800-4128

Lawrence & University of Kansas

Name & Gender Marker Changes - KU Gender Inclusive Housing - KU All Gender Restrooms - KU Gender Affirming Care - KU Bert Nash Center Lawrence Queer Youth Voice Greater Lawrence Family Health Center - Trans Care The Trans Closet (Free Chest Binder Distribution) - KU

[purpurussy]

Saw you asking about ywgttn - it's probably above your pay grade yeah I thought it was a bit MH 101, it's probably helpful for someone who deals with anxiety or depression but not anything else. But I do think the tone of it is pretty good, personally I cannot fucking stand those trite saccharine "you deserve to be gentle with yourself!" type books, and ywgttn is very much in dans usual voice. like typical Dan "turns out making a joke out of your poor mental health is actually a terrible coping mechanism, don't do what I did!" Sort of voice. I do actually think he did a pretty good job with the tone, not making it too heavy or deep while also taking everything seriously. But yeah if you're experienced in dealing with poor mental health it's probably not something you'd find useful.

Because it's so clearly his voice I do remember thinking I wanted more of his personal anecdotes from it, but it makes more sense that it's not about him, tbh. Plus that would be quite personal. Theres some stuff about his life in there but not much that we as fans of his YouTube channel wouldn't have already learned.

I'm really glad people are sharing their thoughts on ywgttn! I was looking up reviews a while ago when I was trying to decide whether to buy the new paperback version, and I found a reddit thread where people had a very different opinion which put me off a bit, but it also seems from what I can tell that dnp reddit became a bit toxic a couple of years ago (someone in the comments on the post I found said that it had become a "dan hating zone" during the hiatus), so I think that might be why.

The reddit phannies had a big issue with the tone (calling it "condescending" mainly), and claimed that he was giving dangerous/unhealthy advice, although yeah I think this was due to a specific kind of mysterious brain rot which seemed to take over phan reddit a few years ago. I just found the thread again and someone claimed that he was telling his "13-17-year old audience" (which firstly is like. are the 13 year olds in the room with us now) to rely on sex/masturbation as an unhealthy coping mechanism. But I saw the page about sex/masturbation posted earlier today, and what he said was "doing something relaxing, for example having an orgasm and putting your phone away, can help you sleep better" which is like fair enough, I think a lot of people would agree. But this person seemed to think he said "hey kids, did you know that the ONLY way to achieve good mental health is by JORKIN THAT THANG 24/7" so yeah I decided I'm gonna take the reddit opinions with a big old grain of salt lmfaooo. Your assessment of the tone seems a lot more appealing.

Your last paragraph did get me wondering if there was a bit of a marketing dilemma with ywgttn. I assume they had a market segment in mind of people who are already fans and are familiar with Dan and his humor and vibes, and I wonder if it was tricky to strike a balance between appealing to phannies who want more comedy and juicy personal anecdotes from him, while at the same time also appealing to a wider audience who might not know anything about him (or care about his life/get his comedy like we do) and are genuinely reading it as a self-help book. There's a risk of appealing to nobody if you're trying to make something that appeals to everyone, but it seems like he pulled it off!

Sorry I yapped a bit here lmao. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, I think I'll give it a go based on what you guys have said! (if nothing else I'm curious now, also someone said in the tags earlier today that it helps to parasocially listen to Dan specifically telling you to take care of your mental health, even if you've heard it before, and I think that might be the case for me too dshlsgkhlg)

[goldenpinof]

As much as I love the new dnpg era we're in (and Im not complaining in the slightest) in the back of my brain I am finding it a bit strange that dan and phil are currently creating the exact content that for the last 5 years they (especially dan) have been saying they are tired of making. The whole "heres our sponsor, please hit the bell, like and subscribe!" Content. It feels very nostalgic right now, which I love, but also isnt necessarily sustainable. And the idea that they're only doing it to pay the bills on their house doesnt sit right with me either.

Im wondering if maybe theres a bigger picture. I feel like the gaming videos they are churning out are to sort of ease us in to a new era of dan and phil. If maybe they are playing a bit into the nostalgia of dan and phil, to gain back the audience that they lost after 5 years hiatus, so that then, they can slowly start to transform the content and the brand of dan and phil into something that better fits them as they are now. Because an abrupt change after 5 years of being gone, would honestly kind of mean they would have to almost start from scratch (bar the few thousand people that have been following them throughout), and honestly idk if an abrupt change would work for them either, bc even with dystopia daily, it was a cool idea, and not badly executed (apart from just kind of stopping halfway through) but it was also so different to anything else, that I think people found it really jarring, because it didnt really feel like the dan people were used to. I also dont know how well it really represented dan creatively anyway. I feel like bringing the gaming channel back, and also making it clear that its going to be different, its not specifically limited to games, is allowing them to take us with them on the journey of figuring out their new creative direction, rather than starting a few projects that get announced suddenly and then not going anywhere. It also means that when they are working on things behind the scenes that take months or even years to come into realisation, that can also just be cancelled at anytime, they are not banking on their audience just happily waiting with nothing to show for it, and can atleast still produce content that they enjoy and we enjoy, so that when dan inevitably does more standup or phil announces a project or they announce a new dan and phil project, it didnt come entirely from nothing.

Idk, basically i feel like the gaming channel is only the start of something bigger, and I dont think that bigger thing is them reverting back to 2016 dnp. Im interested to see.

oi, big asks bring so much pain ehfeliwdskd only because my answers usually are also big as fuck.

what i find interesting about this relaunch of dnpgames is that it's treated like the main place for joint content. what Dan said in the baking video can only mean that what was posted on AP channel or Dan's channel before, will now be on dnpgames. this gives them (Dan specifically) a way out of the dan and phil brand. it's like the joint branding exists outside and in parallel to their solo brands but doesn't intervene (it still does with AP but maybe it won't in the future). there's a better, more strict division between dnpgames + what's allowed on it and AP and their social media. it's so interesting to see how far they will go with it. they might bring back small portions of what they did before the hiatus (livestreams, dan vs phil, spooky week, gamingmas, game series and etc) but there will be new stuff as well. i wonder if the promo for all dnp brand related things will go on dnpgames now. before that, it was on Dan's channel (tours, books). i'm manifesting ladydoor tour 2.0 if the gaming channel thrives and there will be an audience to fill out the venues.

don't forget that Dan's decision to resurrect dnpgames allegedly came only in 2023 and because of his semi-flopped tour and difficulties with the dvd. no one wants to throw money into it, unfortunately. something happened in Edinburgh with BBC (wad related or not, hell knows). this dnpgames return is like a filler between solo projects (re: they are not banking on their audience just happily waiting with nothing to show for it). and it will be dropped the moment they are offered something serious. unless that something is gonna be precisely dnp brand related.

i don't think there's gonna be a huge change in the direction of dnpgames. we missed it how it was, Phil missed it because it allowed him to work with Dan and have fun. it can co-exist. i have an unpopular opinion maybe, but today's vibes are so unhinged. it's different from what it was before the hiatus, and i'm not talking about gay stuff. it feels like we're constantly running somewhere with them, and i don't like it. too much, too suddenly. and for someone who likes rewatching videos to find something new or just relax and laugh, it's a very uncomfortable schedule. and even dnp in the videos seem a bit frantic. plus different editing styles are visible, so it's like constantly jumping on a trampoline never knowing how high. i like consistency, so i need time to adjust? it's not a criticism, just an observation.

i think i have a bit different opinion to yours :) if it's the start of something bigger than only in the variety of content, but i don't think dnpgames will live for more than 3 years. 5 max. and this insane schedule will be dropped eventually. because it's unhealthy and EXACTLY why Dan backed out in 2018.

thank you for sharing your thoughts! let's see how it goes.

[fictionkinfessions]

I know I've been posting a lot, but there's a lot on my mind. So, im 2 fictionkins from the same source (marble hornets) and my kins are alex & jay. I don't know if they are from the same canon, but there is something familiar in the 2, and thats the slender sickness. 

(Tw: spoilers, mentions of blood, halutionations, seizures, disorders such as impostor syndrome and something similar to D.I.D?) 

For those who dont know, the slender sickness is basically where slenderman is stalking you, wnd youll get side effects from it such as coughing up blood, halusonations, seizures, stuff like that. Well, of course that was a thing in my canon, but there is something else. I think in my canon, there was stages, and on the last few stages, you get (i think) something similar to imposter syndrome. Basically, as alex and as jay, i thought either everyone was out to get me(jay) or that everyone was replaced by puppets by slender (alex) , and there was another stange, something i personally like to call the "proxy stage"

Again, for those who don't know, characters such as masky & hoodie in the creepypasta fandom are called proxies. Usually it means you'll work for the slenderman, but masky & hoodie where originally against slenderman in my canon at least. 

Well, Basically in the proxy stage, you will go against slender, like i said, and it kinda makes sorta like a split version of you. Tim for example, becomes violent and doesn't remember anything when he is masky. I know that me as alex, went through this stage, and now i remember everything that i have done. Idk why i remember now, i just do. But, basically i don't think i, alex, was the one actually doing the crimes and shit. I think it was some sort of split version of me, like tim. 

Of course, this is all i remember for as of now, but ill see what i can remember in the future. 

Also, if theres any marble hornets fictkins, or fictives, could you tell me if you experience something similar to this, or if its just me? Because i feel like im going insane about this.

#📷📼

x

[ftmtftm]

hi, I'm not very good at thinking deeply about things, so I'll have thoughts that, base level, seem logical, but i know theres issues with it if dug deeper into (im not good at that) so im wondering if you can share your ideas and perspective on this for me? I love your posts and respect your opinion and how well youre able to explain your thoughts.

so, firstly I'm a mlm trans man. I do not have any masculine environments where I am accepted (I do not "pass"). and by masculine I mean, stereotypical fishing beer cars 3n1 masculine. I also mean the energy of being a man in the most simple of stereotypical definitions (excluding the toxicity part). I usually only get accepted socially by fem people, or other trans men who are more feminine and into things I'm not(like drag and make up etc)(WHICH IS FINE. I love that stuff I'm just not personally that interested myself.) so I'm constantly just catching everyone else's wave in order to be social. now this is all my own issue that I'll work on etc. but I can't relate to a lot of feminine things and I constantly find myself just wishing I could be surrounded by other masculine men.

I'm finally at my point I think... so the other day I quickly typed up a post before thinking about it that said "I only want to be surrounded by manly men" as a light hearted joke. I immediately deleted it before even posting it bc I realized that many people would take that the wrong way and see that as a negative thing. but then I thought "anyone of any gender could write "i only want to be surrounded by women" and no one would think twice about it." it wouldn't be nearly as offensive to most people. or wouldn't be seen as being misogynistic. i thought that was unfair bc as a trans man I'm kind of expected to reject the masculine culture and be ashamed of that aspect. because masculinity is usually tied to being toxic and abusive. i don't know if any of this makes sense. I'm really not the smartest person in the world and I have a hard time talking and using the right words so I'm sorry if I misused any terms or anything.

You're all good anon, and honestly? I can empathize with that kind of feeling a lot. I've also had a lot of times where I just... Want To Be Around Men And Love Men Because There Is A Lot Of Beauty In Maleness And Masculinity !!!!! And I also really understand that feeling of social isolation you're kind of describing where it feels like you're really only accepted by people who are more feminine in one way or another and want to be around more masculine folks.

It's definitely hard and tricky trying to express that though. I wish we lived in a perfect world where when mlm, especially trans mlm, were able to just comfortably say "I want to be surrounded by masculine men" and have all of the nuances of that just.... be understood. So many people don't want to attempt to understand our nuances though because they have no concept of what healthy manhood or masculinity can look like, so they don't understand why it would or could be desirable to us.

I really do think that we can be the change we want to see in the world though! I think as trans mlm we're in a really unique position to truly show people what it can mean like to be masculine and love masculinity in healthy and kind ways. To live authentically in that way is genuinely beautiful I think. I know it is easier said than done but if people can't understand or accept your authentic and true self? Fuck them. Like, if they are someone you care about it's always an option to try to help them understand and that sort of situation is up to you to gauge, but you owe absolutely nothing to strangers on the internet.

If someone can't understand why a trans mlm would want to be surrounded by masculinity, or if they immediately jump to the worst bad faith understanding of that desire, they are genuinely not someone worth breaking your back over. You deserve to be open about and proud of your desires anon, especially in light hearted ways like that.

[the-kipsabian]

💫🎀🎉💞💥🍭💎🪄💌

💫what is your favorite kind of comment/feedback? i honestly love everything i get be it just 'good' or a keyboard smash or anything, but ive always been extra fond of feedback that states the commenters favorite part of the fic or picks apart their favorite sentences etc. cause to me that feels like they took the time not only to read, but also to try to invest themselves in the story and understand it and what the words i was putting down were fully trying to convey. they are the very special kinds to me personally <3

🎀give yourself a compliment about your own writing its the one i can keep repeating to the very end, but i love the way i can convey emotions in scenes. i think im pretty hecking good at that honestly

🎉how often do you celebrate completing & posting a work? how often do you give yourself the credit/validation that you seek from others when you post? (if you don't, you should!) oh wow i havent. actually rewarded myself for finishing and posting since i started doing it again lol. i do give myself credit when its due cause i think my work is pretty good at the moment so i dont feel like im posting subpar stuff, but i also dont know what to reward myself with. i cant afford anything and little things dont bring me much joy rn honestly lol. stay tuned maybe i figure this out

💞what's the most important part of a story for you? the plot, the characters, the worldbuilding, the technical stuff (grammar etc), the figurative language characters (and their relationships) and the overall mood. i usually want to convey a certain feeling through a scene so thats my top priority, and i take pride in my character work a lot so thats also up there, trying to make them feel as real as possible. reading-wise im a plot person tho, or again the mood is really important to me

💥find your least kudos'd fic - say something wonderful about it. (unspirisingly) insomnia. i just thought it was really cute. it also helped my anxiety while working on it and reading it afterwards a few times so like. yeah. its also the piece that got me into writing kip so thats very special

🍭why did you start writing? i have always liked stories. i was a lonely child with no friends and talents, writing was the one thing i was maybe good at and ppl complimented me on when i dared to share something with them. currently im doing it as an outlet and cause it just makes me happy and my god nobody else is writing these fics and ships (except you <3) and someone fucking has to LOL

💎why is writing important to you? i mean its pretty much the same answer as above lol. im sad, im lonely, trying to make something that makes me happy since i have almost completely fallen off from the drawing bandwagon and i need a creative outlet. its the one way im most comfortable expressing myself and it keeps me sane rn. its like the One Thing i feel im actually good at i guess

🪄what is your post-writing/sharing aftercare? How do you take care of yourself or celebrate yourself when you've finished a fic? recently i think all ive done after finishing something is either eat or go to bed lol. i also more often than not let the written stuff simmer for a while, depending how im feeling about it if its an hour or a few days before editing and posting so im not constantly overworking myself, but yeah. food and/or sleep is the most common thing rn. as stated above, i cant afford any big things to celebrate with and small things barely give me any sort of happiness rn

💌share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited! i love how this question immediately drew my brain into a blank lol. i dont really have a lot of things actually in works right now, i just have a very long list of ideas and requests, theres only like. actually three things im trying to work on that i have started (and i might have to scrap at least one of them hmm). but immortal fears is always good!! chapter 3 WILL happen eventually, its maybe 2/3 written right now and i just really. REALLY enjoy writing chuck. so im excited to share that and hope that people like him as much as i do!!

fic writer asks ~

[itonje]

How did you get into Arthurian legend? I don't know where to start!

hi omg sorry for getting to this late but uh i alwaysss recommend my mutual @/gringolet's post on an intro to arthuriana which covers most of it but hmmm if you're asking me how i went about it i started semi chronologically with uh some early arthurian adjacent docs irt to subroman britain (i dont recommend this. dont do this have fun) and made my way up to historia regum britanniae (i do recommend this one but you can just read the arthurian parts if you dont want to read anything else lol..) also i recommend reading other pseudohistories! layamon's brut and historia gentis scotorum are my favs but wace's roman de brut is good as well..then when you get to romances most famously there are the romances of chretien de troyes. my favorite is lancelot, knight of the cart but it is...a lot. yvain, knight of the lion is also very good i recommend that as well. perceval, or the story of the grail is unfinished so fair warning but there are lots of other grail narratives if thats your thing (my personal favorites are parzival, peredur fab effrawg, and the didot perceval. i really like perceval stories lol) also theres the epigonal romances and like thats an entire thing in itself but my favorite of all of them has to be meraugis de portlesguez it is so entertaining it is more entertaining than a lot of modern stuff ive read honestly.

if you're looking for prose romances, there is...the lancelot grail cycle, or the vulgate, which is really long and has a lot of content it is where most of the most popular arthurian traditions originate. then there's the post vulgate which is a sort of a condensed version of it? ive not read either i dont know how much they differ lol. i know that it features more tristan and iseult stuff which is like, if you like or want to read tristan and iseult stuff this post is really good also by my mutual @/tillman i personally am not really invested in the tristan and iseult stuff but like. that is a personal thing lol. also irt to prose stuff the three romances of the mabinogi + culhwch ac olwen + breuddwyd rhonabwy are the arthurian stories in the book but i just recommend it in general it is so good. it is so good please god read the mabinogion im a big fan of welsh arthuriana in general so if you want to have more recs for that specifically lol...

also yes i will talk about the english stuff now cause thats what people like well layamons brut is in like..extremely archaic english but there's also the prose merlin (highly recommend but it is hard to find a translation online that's in like. contemporary english), there's also lancelot of the laik which is great, the alliterative morte arthure which is probably one of my favs it is excellent but then again i like the iliad so maybe i'm a biased slut for war epics (also yeah its a war epic lol). um also theres sir gawain and the green knight which i know is like the most famous of all of them and theres a movie coming out and whatnot and like its fine. its a good starter because it tells a very contained story on its own it doesnt expect you to understand everything ab arthurs court its very entertaining but imo i would read other romances featuring gawaine before this one (which is basically like. all the verse romances lol hes a popular character. my little meow meow). speaking of gawaine the dutch romances (which feature him. heavily) are good. theyre very good and i recommend them highly they also tell contained, highly entertaining stories um id start with moriaen (which is what i started with) and then skip around from there they're all great tho.

um now everyone's wanting me to say it which is uh. lets talk about le morte darthur! i dont recommend it as a starter text even tho i read it like really early on myself so do what you want however id say get one of those like, condensed versions like howard pyles king arthur, andrew langs book of romance, beatrice clay rodger lancelyn green and henry firth bc they all tell condensions of it and id keep it on you while youre reading the original thing just in case like things dont make sense or whatever lol plotwise. le morte is a very late text, and it is very strange for an arthurian text so like idk why people say to read it first because. if i had to say read any arthurian medieval text last. it would honestly be this one because there is such a beautiful finality to it.

i do recommend it though but fair warning that things presented in le morte are like. not the same across all texts? thats something you should keep in mind in general like a lot of these texts are from diff cultures diff languages with their own shifted traditions of arthurian stuff so just in case theres contradictions or whatever between them even in the texts itself (i am looking at you geoffrey of monmouth and anna's family tree) like, dont sweat it or whatever theyre just weird like that. its like comics or whatnot.

anyways this is all to say you have a lot of places to start and pick around from id recommend shorter stuff first and stuff whose translations are usually pretty accessible and contemporary (this is why i highly recommend de troyes' romances in the beginning) just to get used to it cause the 'plot' structure of these things esp in the verse romances is like a bit different than modern lit so i know that can be offputting for some people. like i said like modern condensions of arthurian stuff are invaluable, so are um indexes? there's a couple i don't know if there are any pdfs floating online but i know they usually carry them at libraries and whatnot...

there's a lot of modern modern stuff i dont know about any of it. i couldnt even tell you about bbc merlin i am quite stupid in regard to it. i do know a fair bit about victorian stuff which is modern tho! i should make a post on that but like tldr victorian arthurian poetry good. most of it. victorian arthurian content tho is really in a whole different world as compared to medieval lit so like. well leave all the generally post medieval stuff off for a min asjkldfskld

so like. yeah have fun i know i didnt leave any links on this post (mostly) but if you want any text i mention here please please ask me i WILL send you a pdf guaranteed except for the vulgate and the post vulgate i have not read those and afaik they are hard to come by. i dont know of any pdfs of arthurian indexes if you want one but i could try to find one..?

anyways yeah if this is confusing im sorry 😭😭😭ive answered a question like this a couple times as well jic ehehe https://itonje.tumblr.com/post/641224624484581376/could-i-ask-how-you-got-started-in-arthurian

https://itonje.tumblr.com/post/651581606366265344/hey-finny-im-so-sorry-to-bother-you-but-a-week

[womenfrommars]

Wait you got whole classes dedicated to other countries?? That’s great but yeah if ur wondering Americans usually do not get that. We sometimes have foreign language classes but it depends on the school and it’s often only counted as an elective and being in the class doesn’t mean that the teacher will actually do anything. And it’s just learning the language and absolutely nothing else, if you’re lucky enough to even have that offered. We don’t even learn about other North American countries. Honestly most schools don’t even teach about how the USA government works. Civics got taken out of most curriculums along with home economics. Even if you are able to get certain classes there’s not really anything keeping teachers from giving students inaccurate or biased information because “muh freedom and state’s rights” or something. Schools will pass students even if they didn’t learn anything because of some laws that got passed in like the 90s. It depends a lot on where in the US you live, if you went to public school or if your family could afford private school, etc. There’s also weird zoning laws that effect where you’re allowed to go to school, so if you live in a neighborhood with a “bad school” ur pretty much stuck there unless ur parents are able to sort it out. And then there’s big differences with rural vs urban vs suburban schools. Most states have their standards for education posted online but no one follows them and it’s practically incoherent anyway. American schools basically just teach simple math and English (those are the best taught subjects here, there’s other stuff though) and have students memorize whatever is on the standardized tests that week. Schools here tend to function more like combo daycares/prisons and less like places for learning, especially high schools. Like there’s the internet but independent study with no structure or direction doesn’t always have the best outcomes. I think that’s why young people are so insane here, but it’s whatever I guess… None of this applies to colleges theres different problems there. (Sorry for rambling in ur inbox ❤️ I couldn’t tell if that was a serious question or not)

No honey I was obliged to learn English, French, and German and in those language classes they also teach you a little bit about those countries' culture and history. It doesn't go the other way around. Nobody else in Europe really has mandatory Dutch classes because my country isn't relevant enough lol. I think everyone in Europe learns English as a second language and maybe also a third and/or fourth language depending on their geographical location and school system. My school also offered Latin and Ancient Greec but that was fully optional. Some schools also offer Mandarin Chinese or European Spanish but that's rare since they are not obliged to. I kind of assumed all Americans had to learn Mexican Spanish as well but apparantly that's just optional rip

We do learn how the country is governed. You kind of already learn by reading the news but it is also discussed in a social sciences class that focuses on socio-political issues. I don't know what that is even called in English but I had it for just one year and my teacher was a major clown lol. We also have a class that teaches you the basics of all major religions and we followed that up with a little bit of philosophy. We also followed another class for just one year that focused on teaching how to conduct scientific research. The religion class was very biased and my teacher kept simping for Islam even when acknowledging one of Muhammed's brides was underaged. We also learned about the Kaaba going by the Islamic story when that's not historically accurate. In general all my teachers for that class were Christian so we mostly focused on Christianity. It also brought out the edgy Reddit atheist in some of us.

In general everyone follows a different curriculum because there are different levels of education depending on how gifted you are. For the level I followed I had to go to high school for 6 years (counting "middle school" as well). After the age of 15 we had some more freedom in which subjects we wanted to keep following but it's very limited choice so not exactly pick and choose. My dumbass chose the two most difficult math classes rip

[positive-lesbian-vibes]

I recently found out that I'm a lesbian (I realized I don't like men at ALL) and I'm femme, but sometimes it bothers me that people might not know I'm a lesbian. Is there any way I can still be femme but dress in a way that Fellow Gays would be able to recognize me? (I realize that stereotypes don't matter- I'm just asking in case there's any advice you can give. If there's anything ignorant I said, please let me know, because I'm still pretty fresh to this. :) )

this is a thing! it’s called flagging, its dressing in a particular way in an attempt to signal to other wlw that you like women!

i can super relate, people never even entertain the idea that i might not be straight, and it can be hard to meet other women when you dont even come up on their radar

before i get any further, i should give a quick disclaimer: there is no one way to “look gay,” and you dont have to conform to any sort of fashion standard to be a part of the lesbian community. if you’re a lesbian, then congrats! you look like a lesbian! but sometimes other people don’t say it that way, which can be disappointing. so i get it. i’ve been there.

there is a lot of stuff online for flagging, but some basic things that a lot of women do to signal that they are into other women are very femme-friendly, although there are certainly ways to “look gayer” that might not suit your style

I have a “how to look gay” tag but knowing tumblr, i cant imagine any of my posts on it would come up with a search, so here are my hot tips!

some common (but sometimes used by straight girls) things would be:

 a flannel, i prefer mens because they are softer and warmer, but tying it around your waist can be a nice femme touch, although i will layer with flannels too.

you can double-denim/canadian suit it up. one way i like to do this is with like a black denim pant and a loose denim shirt or jacket over the top of a t-shirt. if double denim is too tacky for you, splitting it up into two separate-looking denims can help. but theres nothing wrong with a tacky denim get up!

things like undercuts or sidecuts, with one section of your hair buzzed short. may not be your style, but definitely gets the message across if youre into it

asymmetrical piercings. i have a double cartilage in my left ear but nothing special on my right. i hear industrial bars are a big thing, too. nose rings can be pretty hit or miss, i tend to believe they are gayer than other people do imo. but i have a nose stud so... i guess i cant really talk

in the same vein, tattoos. this one is also pretty hit or miss, because there are PLENTY of straight people who like tattoos (tats are cool, who can blame them) but i always think twice when i see a girl with a sleeve or a shoulder tat.

less conventional makeup. it doesnt even have to be too out there, but maybe like, you just dont wear foundation, or only do lipstick, or go really bold with your brows. my first term at college i saw a girl with really bold brows, a couple face piercings, and a flannel, and i just. Knew she was into women

boots. they dont have to be combat boots. but combat boots are pretty gay. people usually say wlw dont wear heels, but i know some who do.

accessories. this is a big one. i know a lot of lgbt people who are big on the rainbows, like rainbow bracelets, earrings, headbands, belts, pins, buttons, etc. generally i feel a little too loud with big rainbows all over my body, but there are other options! i like the interlocking venus symbols as a lesbian symbol, as its a bit more subtle but also relatively recognizable. i have two interlocking venus symbol necklaces, and a hat with a little rainbow on it. some lesbians like the labrys from the labrys flag, but it doesnt really seem as recognizably gay to me 

theres definitely a quirky kooky femme fashion niche that i (sadly) cant say im a part of, but a bunch of femmes like to dress kind of tacky. there’s a big joke about “tacky lesbian fashion” because lesbians can be known to wear some interesting combos, like crocs with a skirt, etc, but this can be dressed up, too. louder prints that might not be too appealing to the average straight man OR woman can be a subtle way to give off vibes

hats. the classic beanie. even in the year of our lord 2019, i know nary a straight girl who would dare don a beanie. its just so classically lesbian. but you can opt for a baseball cap or bandana, too. backwards hats? very gay. my belief is that this stems from the classic lesbian pastime, softball.

dyed hair. usually unconventional colors. this one can go both ways, too. pastels tend to be “less gay” but that doesnt mean there arent lesbians out there rocking some pastel pink hair. streaks or an ombre of a bright or non-natural hair color give off vibes. the ends of my hair have been purple on an off since i was a freshman in high school.

the way you carry yourself. this one isnt a way of dressing, yeah, but it can be just as effective. my gaydar tends to go more off behavior/body language than appearance. it obviously isnt 100% (none of flagging ever is) and takes some practice, but I’ve generally been pretty good at figuring out if someone is gay from interacting with them. it isnt instant, takes practice, and can easily be wrong, but its usually my method of choice. unfortunately, this method almost NEVER gets the point across the straight people, who tend to think if you have long hair then there’s no WAY you could be a lesbian. body language to look out for: not sitting in chairs properly (a meme that reflects reality) like “manspreading” but as a woman, generally more confidence/self-assuredness, focusing more on women, being less “meek” and more “aggressive” with taking up space, accommodating for women’s comfort but not for mens, disregard of the male gaze, that sort of thing.

lastly, all of these things are just suggestions of how to “look gayer” based off stereotypes, some of which were played up by the lesbian community in an attempt to find each other. you dont have to change how you dress, act, look, or anything else to be a real lesbian or to “look” like a lesbian, because there is no one “thing” that lesbians look like. some of us dress to stereotypes, and some of us dont, but we are all lesbians at the end of the day, dressing and looking the way you feel most comfortable should be the goal. if that includes some things on this list, great! if not, thats fine too! you don’t have to do everything. just the stuff you feel good about

[oboeonecannoli]

Hi!! I'm a 15yo girl in high school and I saw you reblog that post about your feet? So I have really similar pains too, and you talked about leg problems with it? So my knees are really achy and they pop a lot, and my feet do the same thing where they feel like they're just RIPPING in half, right up the middle. I was wondering if you could maybe talk about the stuff with your legs and feet? I looked up what you said but my feet don't look like that. If you're comfortable with it, I mean. :)

hi sure!! I get asked about it in person all the time because I wear knee braces, so im super comfy with talking abt it. ok first things first: metatarsus adductus. definitely don’t go off of the pics you see online bc those are all usually VERY SEVERE CASES my feet don’t look like that at all. you can see the curve a little ithout the xray, if you know what youre looking for. it is so obvious on xray though, its crazy.

so, a little about my diagnosis since I’m sure youre probably looking to go get one. he looked at my feet, pushed on them a bit to see where they stretch and how much, then took some xrays. he put them up on the light and I was like WHOA those look weird?? sure enough, he drew a line up the middle of the xray and my feet go WAY off of it. they’re shaped less like the C-shaped feet you see online, and more like parentheses. C vs ( if that helps you picture it. so the fix for that is, if youre a kid, you can do physical therapy and wear special shoes that actually realign your bones! but you and I are not kiddos, so the best they can do is orthotic inserts. don’t feel down though!! they helped me so much!! my feet still hurt, of course, but it’s only maybe a day each month total that they are seriously in pain, the rest are either ache-y days or painfree!!

onto the legs. so the docs think my knee issues stem from walking on my feet wrong all my life, bc my feet sort of turn out when I walk. they call it duck walking :P anyway, I have bilateral patellofemoral arthralgia, which is just basically the patellofemoral tendon isn’t strong enough to hold my kneecaps in the right spot, which caused a form of arthritis to develop. (it’s called arthralgia instead of arthritis because arthritis=swelling arthralgia is the same but no swelling)

and then there’s my hips, which I was just born with and the problems are independent of the other two but probably also contributed to the development of my arthritis. I have left iliopsoas snapping band syndrome, which isn’t usually painful its just sort of creepy. it can be EXTREMELY painful depending on who develops it though, I just got lucky and have a very mild form. its when the tendon slides over my bone and snaps like a rubber band sort of, and then slides back over back into place. it makes a really gross thumping noise, which I love creeping people out with :0 the right hip has impingement of the hip, I never got xrays to figure out which kind because like I said in that post, my dad took me to a kids doctor instead of a goddamn normal physician. anyway. it just means that theres something in my joint that’s not working right!! the doctor I went to guessed that it was a misshapen bone outcrop on the socket of my hip, so the joint catches on that and pops around in there. very painful, -10/10 would recommend. youll know somethings very wrong if you have anything like this. it wasn’t really an issue when I was younger, but then I did triple jump in track and it really started messing things up in there. I do physical therapy now, bc the only available surgery is super intense and has a pretty low success rate.

basically, if you have problems in your hips I can’t help, because my hips aren’t related to my feet. but!! knees!! I can save you a trip to physical therapy and tell you the exercises I do, and if they work- great. if not, youll have to go to the doctor to figure it out because something else must be wrong.