#also just to clarify i'm not saying if a blind person wanting to get their sight back is bad

[dengswei]

i'm sorry but the last twilight finale could've been the exact same and day could've still been blind

[qoldenskies]

i genuinely adore the way that anatawa hitorijanai/the third part of the finale brings back the little motif with leo falling and raph jumping to save him in bug busters because it was such an important moment that really propelled raph along in his own abilities (although i personally interpret mystic powers as being more related to the individual and their emotions, while ninpo is more about. yknow. the family and their trust with each other since its hereditary, i see it as separate. post for later) but i always find it SO WEIRD that it's treated as like. a trust fall. because leo falling was not a trust fall. it was the opposite, actually.

is it representative of raph putting himself aside for the sake of his family? oh yeah. i do believe its a point that marks a turning point in the way he perceives the role of the oldest and leader, which is why i like the parallel because he puts the same into his younger brothers' hands. but was it really an act of trust? hell no! raph spent the entire episode NOT TRUSTING LEO. they were put in that exact position because raph cared a lot about being right just as much as leo did, and draxum dropped leo because raph didn't listen to him!!

leo pushed and bitched and begged pretty much that entire episode to be listened to, and raph never truly gave him the floor because he was expecting him from the get-go to be cynical and selfish. and even though leo can be those things at times, it didnt mean he wasnt a voice worth not listening to. and that did nearly get him killed! joke aside, leo shouting about his last words meant he really, really did not actually expect raph to do something like that, and raph jumped in a blind, panicked act of desperation for leo's sake. i think learning he SHOULD trust him from that point was something that should've been clarified, or they should've left the parallel more implicit tbh.

but you know what IS an excellent parallel to bug busters? the movie! their roles are reversed! raph has well learned the importance of taking things seriously and is loudly pushing for caution, and leo is pushing him away and shrugging it off like he's just being too pessimistic, its pretty much a HERE COMES THE FUN POLICE WEEWOO. which i think is like, the equivalent to raph's "she's a nice spider lady, why are you being so negative, do you just want to prove me wrong? you're up to something"

and i think a big reason raph is so loud about the lesson he's trying to pound into leo's skull is because of the exact lesson he learned in bug busters, because he definitely does actually see a lot of himself in leo (i do love when people play around with raph going "oh god did i teach him that" about some of leo's more self-destructive behavior btw, that's good A team angst) and i dont think he wants leadership back at all. he's perfectly fine with splitting the load, because they already have been The Big Brothers from the start and leo's been his second in command and cheerleader a lot before. but leo in his eyes is being vindictive and refusing to take this seriously, and i'm sure for raph it hits a little close to home! projection moment

this was honestly just me trying to say that i think the perfect leo/raph roof moment parallel should be their fight when raph is krang-ified, leo telling raph to go save donnie and mikey, and then him leaping into the prison dimension, just like raph leapt for him, because there was no other choice in order to save lives. it's the exact same type of move, bonus points with how leo points it out, "hero moves are your style".

(also potential parallel if you choose to interpret raph's tears as he jumps off the roof as overwhelming guilt because he suddenly realizes that his own choices brought them to this point, because like.... leo crying in the prison dimension..... same thing)

point is, love the raph trust fall in the third part of the finale. but i think the point of him catching leo was that he didn't trust him, and i think it wouldve been better to the finale trust fall more about how he's grown from the behavior that put them there back in bug busters.

OH AND AND AND this is compounded in by the B team moment RIGHT AFTER THAT with donnie and mikey, because that is an ACTUAL example of two brothers that genuinely, earnestly trust each other. donnie tells mikey to let go intentionally and mikey doesn't hesitate, because he knows donnie will always be there to catch him and he trusts him wholeheartedly. the difference is jarring and most likely intentional.

[bubblesxo]

i dont know if you will see this but i am a big fan of your g!bruce meets the batfam!!!! I literally have tumblr just for this series (and now that I’ve tried it im beginning to love it ngl) . Annyywaayy ive just read the new chapter and it’s so good!?? Like i am really excited for the next chapter!!!

Oh and I haven’t watched gotham ( im planning too ) but i sometimes mix the twins????? Like your explanations are good dont get me wrong but yk when your reading and you need to check which ones which? Yeah … and like i want to fix that idk how .do i just like memorize the twins personalitys??

also in this au is theres 2 jokers??????? I saw you once mention Jerome(?) being revived or something

ps .im that great at English sorry .

oh wow wow wow thank you so so much!! i'm really glad that you're enjoying my story so much! it really means a lot to me. <33 i think your english is good! but if you need/want me to clarify anything i say here, just let me know and i'll try to rephrase it for you!

okay, so in the Gotham tv show (this has spoilers for all 5 seasons, so read on if you're okay with that) the way that they approached writing the joker was actually really up in the air in the beginning. this is because they didn't have the rights to use the name "joker," and so fox (the company that made the show) planned on making a bunch of smaller characters in the show as a kind of easter egg as people who could be the joker or who resemble him in some way.

this changed when cameron monaghan (the actor for both jerome and jeremiah) guest starred in s1e16 "the blind fortune teller." in it, the character of jerome is introduced as a 17/18 year old boy who travels with the circus with his mother, who is a snake dancer. he is meant to be one of the aforementioned joker-like characters in the show and wasn't actually supposed to be included again after that episode, if i am not mistaken.

however, the viewers LOVED his performance and jerome came back in season two as a member of the maniax, a group of arkham inmates who were broken out of the asylum. i won't go too into detail about the actual plot, but in seasons two, three, and four, jerome shows up in at least a few different episodes with very memorable storylines each time.

it isn't until season four of the show that jeremiah is even revealed at all! jeremiah and jerome are identical twin brothers, however, jeremiah has been in hiding for years under the fake name "xander wilde" in an attempt to escape jerome, who wants to get revenge on him for lying to their mother about what he (jerome) did when they were children. basically, jeremiah lied to their mother (lila, who jerome is revealed to have killed in 1x16) that jerome tried to kill him, causing jeremiah to be sent away and be adopted by rich people and get to go to a well-funded private school where he could live out his best life as a child prodigy (which was jeremiah's end goal to this), whereas jerome was left behind in the circus that they lived at (haly's circus, the same one that dick grayson later was raised in before being adopted by bruce). during this time, jerome was horrifically abused by his mother, his uncle, and his mother's many romantic partners. this eventually caused him to crack, which creates the character we see in the show.

here's an easy way to remember the difference in their personalities:

in the standard american deck of cards, there are two jokers: one that is black and white and one that is in color. in this analogy, jeremiah is the black and white joker and jerome is the one in color.

this is jerome:

he's got a *very* boisterous personality. he's outgoing and charismatic and, of course, severely messed up in the head. he *enjoys* the pain he causes people and does it with little to no reservations. he thinks things through less thoroughly than jeremiah but jerome always has a plan and is actually quite smart. i couldn't do him the disservice of calling him the dumb twin, despite some points about jeremiah that i'll get back to later.

anyway, jerome has a grand plan for all of gotham: he believes that, fundamentally, everyone in the world is like him and is also at least a bit crazy inside. he wants everyone to tap into their inner selves and let themselves run free / go crazy. he successfully ensnares huge hoards of gothamites with his persuasive way of speaking and interesting flare to his words. he amasses a large cult following, all of whom are very similar to him in the sense that they all demonstrate similar signs of instability.

here's some more gifs of him.

jerome kind of invented the iconic "HAHAHA" signature joker laugh in the gotham universe, even though he isn't the one who goes on to become "mr. j" (gotham's version of the joker) in the end (that's jeremiah, though i have a lot to say about that).

jerome's always smiling, a genuinely creepy smile that throws people off at first but can be really scary once you know what you're looking at. he single handedly turns gotham into a madhouse on multiple occasions and is the one who basically spread the "crazy" to the general population (for short: genpop).

he's a classic cult leader in the sense that he can mesmerize a whole room with his magnetic presence but also will ruthlessly cut down any of his followers if they so much as upset him (or even if they're just being annoying or could have a greater purpose, like when he stabbed a follower in the gut to take their blood to draw a frowney-face on bruce).

that reminds me, another important thing to know about jerome is that he has an iconic stapled-on face! this is because he died once (in season two, though he came back to life for season three onwards) and one of his followers tried to revive him using some insider medical knowledge from doctor hugo strange (who is just... a whole thing. ew.). he thinks that he failed at doing this and steals jerome's face so that he can wear it on television in an attempt to control jerome's followers (spoiler: this doesn't work).

however, it turns out that jerome *was* revived from this, and he's pretty upset that some dude stole his face! so he uses a staple gun to re-attach it after he gets it back (and kills the guy who did it). his face is later punched off by jim gordon but reattached more properly during his time at arkham afterward (the carnival scene happened in season 3 and jerome came back with a kind-of healed face in season 4).

here's some gifs with jerome's messed up face!

jerome is the colorful joker because he's very much expressive. he lets out every single emotion he feels---unless he's trying to deceive someone, at which point he is a phenomenal liar. (in season 1 when we are first introduced to him, he almost successfully gets away with the murder of his own mother.)

jerome is funny and laughs a lot and is *loud.* he's also absolutely insane and incredibly cruel, as well as impulsive, but he's able to curb his instincts if he feels like he can pull off a big plan.

jerome is a showman by nature. he's a product of the circus and it *shows.* everything he does is like an act, something that is acknowledged by many people in the show.

he's a funky lil dude. totally crazy, but kind of adorable at times.

he's also SEVERELY traumatized from his horrible past and has huge trust issues.

so, yeah. jerome is colors! remember that.

unfortunately, pookie died in season 4 and doesn't seem to have been revived this time </3

now, onto his twin brother jeremiah!

jeremiah is, at least at first, presented to be the complete opposite of jerome. he's calm, collected, and seemingly sane---at least at first. bruce trusts him at first and he even befriends him for a period of time before jeremiah betrays him.

jeremiah is a genius engineer, and, when looking into his past, we can assume that he was a child prodigy. he worked with thomas wayne before he died and designed the wayne plaza building under the aforementioned alias "xander wilde." he also locked himself in an underground maze for ~6 years (i believe?) and never went outside, instead sending his proxy (ecco) out to act in his place during business transactions.

as seen here, jeremiah seems to be the complete opposite of showboat jerome:

when we first meet jeremiah, we are told that he is totally sane, but we can later see that this is not the complete truth.

i'll use jeremiah's project as a metaphor for this. jeremiah was building a set of generators which could make energy harvesting and usage much less expensive and much more bio-friendly (if i remember correctly). bruce promised to fund his project and jeremiah accepts his offer quickly.

after jerome dies in season 4 after kidnapping bruce and jeremiah, he left behind a concoction of chemicals that seemingly make jeremiah go insane. this is a play on joker toxin / joker venom from the greater dc universe.

however, after jeremiah reveals his new self

he says that the spray did not actually change who he actually is, but just gave him an altered appearance. there are a lot of fan theories about this, but the general consensus is that the spray likely lowered his inhibitions, which gave him the kick needed to reveal his true self.

even his complexion resembles the joker he corresponds with: black and white. he is the black and white joker because he isn't as expressive, is way more calculated, and is more cruel and less happy. even his skin is paper white.

here's some gifs of what he looks like after those "slight cosmetic changes" :

that looks a lot more like the joker we know and love today, right? bleach-pale skin, red painted lips, green hair. he's instantly recognizable as the stereotypical joker now.

remember when i mentioned the generators? let's go back to them. the entire time that the generators have been around, they've also been perfectly functional as powerful bombs. their ability to be used as bombs does not undermine the fact that they can also be used as generators, and both of these things were true at the same time *for the entire time they have existed.*

it is in this way that jeremiah's paradoxical nature has always existed. jeremiah is crafty, cunning, and absolutely vicious. he has no care or concern for human life in general and will sacrifice most people in his life if it means that he will get what he wants in the end.

this is shown both before and after the joker toxin in how he lied about jerome when they were children (which caused jerome to be heavily abused) and in how jeremiah willingly killed one of his most devoted and beloved followers, who was being ransomed, just because someone put him on hold and it was personally easier for him to just kill him than sit on hold on the phone for a while. (he also has a vicious streak, though, because he immediately moved the demolition of the bombs up to immediately once he was out of the blast zone because those people inconvenienced him.)

something that's important to realize about jeremiah is that he has an issue with being called crazy. jerome does, too, but he eventually comes to accept the term, almost like he's reclaiming it, but jeremiah is *violently* against it. that's one of the things that set him off in the previously mentioned interaction.

both jeremiah and jerome are obsessed with bruce, though in different ways. jeremiah sees bruce first as his best friend and later as the "brother [he] could never have, that jerome could never be." jerome just sees bruce as a particularly entertaining and interesting kid who he enjoyed tormenting who he would eventually kill.

anyway, despite jeremiah being crazy (or, depending on who you ask, just less inhibited) he is still crazy smart and calculating. he thinks through everything before he does it and his master plans seem like they go on forever with 10000 parts to them and backups and contingencies galore.

the only time that jeremiah ever really seems to break out of this is when he's fighting with bruce. while he still does have a greater point to make or something he's trying to accomplish, he thinks through things less with him and shows his impulsive and rash side a bit more, which is interesting because jerome showed his thoughtful and contemplative side when faced with the obstacle that is bruce thomas wayne. i love parallels and contrasts, especially in these two characters! i just love writing about twins, they're always so interesting.

some important things about their relationship to one another:

even though jerome kidnapped jeremiah and seemingly strapped a bomb to his neck (after breaking into his house and telling him that he would kill him), jerome doesn't seem to actually want jeremiah to die. instead, as we later find out, he wants jeremiah to unleash his true self and carry on his legacy of chaos and cruelty in gotham for him after his death. this is why he left behind the laughing gas for him.

(the fact that jerome thought to do all of that shows that he really was a smart character and that he truly did understand the world around him well. he knew exactly what would happen in the event of his death, i.e. bruce offering to fund jeremiah's work and jeremiah accepting, as is shown when jerome has the joker venom in a present box which claims to be sent from wayne enterprises.)

jeremiah *hates* to be compared to jerome in any way, as he thinks of himself as "the face of true sanity." he actually has an entire notebook full of jerome's ideas, which he says he will outdo and perfect, thus defeating his brother in the end, which i don't know if i agree with, but whatever.

i think that it's because of the reputation that jerome got at the circus. jeremiah wanted people to think of him as better than jerome and as the perfect child, which he succeeded at. to him, jerome is synonymous with crazy, which i've already mentioned that he hates to be called.

okay, just one more part to talk about. the infamous, much anticipated Mr. J!!!

in the series finale, it is revealed that jeremiah, after falling into a vat of acid, is horribly disfigured and pretends to be in a vegetative state for the whole ten years that bruce is on his quest to improve himself before becoming batman. he does this as a way of waiting for bruce to come back to gotham so he can continue to be obsessed with him.

however, though this is jeremiah, it seems that he has actually gone through immense mental trauma sometime during this time (perhaps during his fall into a vat of chemicals), which has caused him to sort of lose his sense of self. he once says that there was "another me" [another him] once, which is, of course, referring to jerome. this implies that jeremiah sees jerome as an extension of himself, almost, and almost makes it seem as if mr. j is a whole different entity of his own.

hopefully this clears everything up a bit for you!! let me know if you have any questions or want to know anything specific about the characters and i will be glad to oblige!

thank you once again for being so kind as to leave this ask!! it really made my day. thank you for enjoying my fic, i hope it continues to live up to expectations. i have a lot of fun things planned (and i am very happy that you decided to look into these characters more, because they are actually extremely important to the plot as we get more into the actual story!). <33

[themoodyestj]

When I say that with you, Jensen can't ever win, what i mean is that he's never going to be good enough for you, no matter what he does or says, you will always find something wrong with him. it's like being hyperfocus on one of his freckles, pointing at it, insisting that he has skin cancer. but you're not a doctor, you are just some random peep who thinks they know anything about cancer because they did a google search on the subject. and because you're so focused on one freckle, you're missing the rest of his beautiful face, you're missing his kind eyes, you're missing his hands and the things he can hold, the thigs he built, you're missing the words coming out of his mouth. you're missing the fact that he has many more freckles all over his body, that they are a part of him, part of what makes him beautiful and that without them he just wouldn't be Jensen.

I have to be honest, I'm not an advocate of loving blindly. Maybe it's my own life experience or because I'm actually trained to smell some things at a distance, but I have always had a very pragmatic point of view of the world (Sure, call it jaded, totally fine with that) and very rarely let my personal feelings interfere in my opinion. That doesn't mean I don't have them. I am team Jensen. I have seen all the times he won, and i still see the times he wins. I'm super happy he got his role in The Boys and keeps filming for them. I was super happy when he worked so hard to get that buffed and I also admire him for that, since I have to talk myself into (like really having a mental debate) to go to the gym. I admire his sense of sacrifice for the art and how readily he took that challenge, and was a bit sad when he said he deflated when others reminded him he could just have put fake muscles in his suit. I was like "No man, no deflating! This is your victory, run with it! Celebrate!!" I was and still am extremely proud of his accomplishments, and it makes me beam with joy when he's excited about stuff, wanting to do more, just because he can, just because he believes in it, giving his best. But I'm also not blind to the parts where I feel he's disheartened, or that I feel he did much less because he let other people take the lead, when he should have. And I'm sad that he didn't. I'm sad that he didnt respect himself enough to say "Look, this represents me as well, so we're gonna do it well." I didn't like what he did with the prequel, I didn't like that he kept Jared away, when I considered him extremely loyal. And I don't appreciate his wife, she represents everything I dispise, and I feel she steals from him. Joy, years of life, quality time with his kids, his money, his name, the people close to him, she steals all that. She makes him a shell of a man, by demeaning him, by going against everyone who made him happy, by encouraging people that weren't kind or honest to him. And it does make me wonder what he is doing with her (and honestly, sometimes scared that he is just like her). I'm not looking at just one freckle, I'm pointing at the freckle that is mishaped and can turn to something else. If you had such a freckle, and you went to your dermatologist, would you like him to say, "Well, this one looks suspicious, but im going to ignore it because all of the others seem fine"? Never once I said that I find Jensen ugly. And to be honest, even when it comes to what i consider his miscomings, I do understand them. I can either relate, or understand the possible reasons for those miscomings. Sometimes I'm more dissapointed than others, yes, sometimes I'm a bit more frustrated because he can do more. And as for my agency to write what I write, well, you don't know my background, my field of study, my field of work, my experience, because I don't want you to. I applaud people who share their experiences to reach others, I truly find it admirable, but I chose not to do it. My aim here is not to advocate for my own story (clarifying im not against who does), so my perspective will have to do. And for that, I only need to act in the capacity of a living breathing human being who is sentient, which is the same capacity in which you come to my inbox to tell me I'm a random peep. Sounds fair? I hope this somewhat shed a light on my stance in all of this, but to be honest, I'm too jaded to believe it did. I'll leave you with a joke that's been circling online for a while and can illustrate this text in a funny way.

[hcoct8xfi]

Okay, so a couple days ago, I made I post while I was in a flare up about how I was irritated with some Kanera fanfiction or some fanfiction involving Kanan Jarrus, which you can find here 👇

I expressed how frustrated I was with some people who will completely write Kanan's blindness out of their fanfiction because it's 'easier' to not have any disabled characters in their story.

I said that if you find yourself struggling to write a disabled character, reach out or take pointers from disabled writers. Well, even though no one asked for it, I decided I should give a few pointers on how to write disabled characters.

Now, before we get started, I wanted to clarify that I myself am disabled. I have a physical disability that causes chronic pain as well as other symptoms that flare. I also have a psychiatric disability as well as being neurodivergent. I did state in my original post that if I was wrong or incorrect in any way, to please educate and correct me. The same thing applies to this post.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1. Keep this as a golden rule, disabled characters in sci-fi or fantasy, will translate to disabled characters in Alternative Universes. I would argue that Kanan would probably not be a difficult character to write in fanfiction. A good chunk of season 3 and a bit of season 4 in Star Wars Rebels was dedicated to how Kanan copes and accommodates his blindness. Of course there is no acceptable excuse to write out a characters disability out of your story, but, writing Kanan would not be that hard to write and accommodate in your story.

2. So I may get some comments saying, "Well, how do I explain how Kanan became blind in a modern AU?" Well, there's two answers for that, one, that's up to you and how you choose to write that. Second, you don't have to explain how your character became disabled or why your character is disabled. A common misconception is that disabled people have to explain why they are disabled, and that's just not true. It's also rooted in ableism. Phrases like "What happened to you?" or "Why are you using [insert mobility device]?" are ableist and inappropriate to ask because you could possibly be asking someone to relive or rehash trauma that they have. And also, disabled people do not owe you an explanation, nor a justification of their existence. So mind your business and your ableism.

3. Avoid tropes such as the inspiration p*rn, or "tragic burden" in your stories. Again, disabled people do not have to justify their existence by being an "inspiration". Yes, disabled people are capable of doing inspirational things, but we're not inspirational for just existing. Next, don't constantly potray your disabled character as a "tragic burden". Yes, it's a huge adjustment when you have acquired a disability and it can be very burdensome. But, once you learn how to accommodate your disability, such as managing your symptoms, support groups, or finding a community, you start to find your rhythm. Always remember to show the good and the bad that come with disability. Also, remember that we are allowed to be upset about our disability and mourn the life we once had, but, a lot of us do not constantly think about it to the point where that is our only thought throughout the day.

4. This is kind of like number three, but, if your disabled character is in a relationship, do not make it one of those "Well, I see the person, not the disability." Yes, this may sound good at first, but what you're actually saying is that you don't want to acknowledge our disability, and that's a huge problem. Yes, acknowledge us as people, but, acknowledge us as disabled people. Disability does impact our lives, and I personally would not want to be in a relationship with anyone, romantic or friendship, that completely ignored that I'm disabled.

5. It's a VERY good idea to research your characters disability. Research how it may impact your character, if they require any mobility equipment, therapies, or other accommodations. I promise, this research will help you with your character so much. It will help make your character more accurate.

6. Don't put this fear mongering over disability in your story. There's already a lot of stigma surrounding disability as it is. Remember, disability is a part of life, and at some point, we all will become disabled. Some of us just become disabled young or are born disabled. Also, don't not try and demonize mobility aids. Using a wheelchair, crutches, cane, walker, etc. is not a sad or unfortunate thing. They do what they are meant to do, aid our mobility. They help us and give us so much freedom.

7. Listen to more disabled writers. Disabled writers can help a lot with advice and guidance with disabled characters. Listen to their experiences on their disability, how it impacts them, and any sort of ableism they may have faced (if they are willing to talk about it).

8. Have fun writing your disabled characters. Once you get the hang of writing disabled characters, it won't be as hard as you originally thought. Writing disabled characters is not complicated at all, especially when you educate yourself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I hope that I was able to assist some of you with writing disabled characters. Just remember that there are so many disabled writers out there that will give tips and pointers on how to write disabled characters. 🫶🏼

[enoughslices]

Hey so I read your post about Mulder respecting Scully saying they can never be together and you totally cracked my brain open?? When people say that, they might just mean it in the moment but not forever... and they don't clarify this if they change their mind?? I'm rethinking so many things right now lol

Obviously I know each person is different but it was never phrased this way to me and now I'm just sitting here with galaxy brain

This is something I have come up against the hard way in my real life, where all through my childhood and adolescence people continually told me I was, "taking things too literally," and I was like, "... ... ... How else am I supposed to take them?? Should I not take you at your word?" I had a number of situations (like in relationships or friendships) where someone would declare something and I would just accept it and never revisit it, and then later find they were frustrated with me for assuming a statement they'd made two years ago was still true since they had not modified it. I used to do performance-related work and my one colleague who really got me (we love a work wife) would have to explain to directors that if I was told to do something a certain way I would just keep doing it that way and not try anything new until they revised their instruction. I was baffled to learn that the expectation in rehearsals was that I keep trying new things even when I had been explicitly told to do it one way. Or, worse, intuit when they wanted me to keep trying new things in the face of the instruction and when they didn't. It stressed me out so much. I always felt a little betrayed when someone said one thing very emphatically and firmly ("We can't ever get back together," or "I'm never going to do that again.") and then did indeed do or want to do the thing again days or weeks or months or years later (especially without clarifying or explaining). I've had to work really hard on finding respectful ways to not make assumptions even when I feel like something has been communicated clearly to me and get in the habit of raising things periodically from a place of open curiosity to see if people are still in the same place, because not everyone is as precise or literal when they're speaking about things, especially if they're coming from a place of emotion in the moment. I don't know for sure that I'm autistic, but I do know that I'm neurodivergent. I have cPTSD and was also late-diagnosed with ADHD at 36 and have MCAS, which also can impact how your brain works, so diagnosis is a little complicated. I suspect that I'm AuDHD (autistic and ADHD) and I have an evaluation scheduled for this year. Seeing and hearing about people's neurodivergent experiences on TikTok and other corners of the internet has helped me recontextualize a lot of parts of my experience and has illuminated corners I had not even realized were dark. It's made so many things fall into place that have made me go, "Oh. Wait. Fuck! Really??" But also there's a certain relief in having things make sense that never did before, even though it's been absolutely wild to identify my (many, many 😅) blind spots. In conclusion: Me 🤝 Mulder in this headcanon lol I'm sorry to crack your brain open and I hope the light flooding in is not too overwhelming!! Being a person is a trip sometimes! Feel free to DM me if you want to spiral about this together! PS: Obligatory disclaimer that people have a wide variety of different experiences and feeling this way or relating to this is not necessarily an indicator of autism, which I don't even know for sure that I have! I am just over here projecting onto my blorbos on the hellsite, as glob intended 😂😂

[llycaons]

You are getting eaten uppp on the AO3 sub for that fic anti-rec list jsyk. Probably because it’s incredibly weird and mean behavior. Be blessed

No one “hates you” but someone posted your anti-rec list thing on the AO3 sub and people are (rightfully) saying it’s a weird thing to do that shows zero awareness of fic etiquette or like, being a normal person. Just strange. Like you want people to trigger tag *fruit* but are comfortable saying all this shit about authors (not just the fics themselves… the regular-ass people who write them)… weird and strange behavior

I was so excited to receive this ask until it was clarified that nobody actually hates me :( exciting news either way. is this reddit? were you on the ao3 REDDIT? good fucking luck on there anon I cannot imagine subjecting myself to that. also it's not a trigger tag and it's really bizarre that you bring that up at all when it has absolutely nothing to do with the actual conversation here

let's start. you're placing a heavy amount of moral weight on 'weirdness' while (I think?) also recognizing that it's inherently an amoral quality. and it is - but that criticism doesn't really mean anything to me. I've never been a 'normal person,' and idk what you mean by that. normal by who's standards? people who frequent ao3? let's say I am an out-of-touch meanie who doesn't understand 'fic etiquette'. based on the fact that it's ao3 fans, I can only assume it's people who are cool with ao3 hosting slave AUs and explicit child/adult content. and I'm really going to pretend like I care about their standards of conduct? oh no, the people who say 'your kink isn't my kink' about rape porn think I'm being mean to them! whatever shall I do! trust ao3 fans to consider legitimate critique a breach of etiquette but not...idk, incest porn. sure, I'm making assumptions but I am well-acquainted with the culture of that site lmao so am I wrong?

like, the meat of this ask is just so hung up on 'normality', which is not a very useful metric for moral behavior or critique and I'm not sure what you want me to do with it. I do many harmless abnormal things, and there are many 'normal' things that cause great harm. like, what does a normal person do according to ao3 fans? do they read cp? do you consider that normal behavior? is that harmless? does reading cp, or turning a blind eye to it, adhere to this precious fic etiquette? should I conform? should I be polite and sit quietly while the community I'm in runs wild with abuse apologism and bioessentialist nonsense? I recognize this is not what your ask was about, but you're asking me to compare my behavior to what ao3 fans think is acceptable, and I went through the entire tag last year so I KNOW what kind of things they like. I just don't think I can extend the benefit of the doubt to this place I've never heard of until today but which sounds a bleak and wretched place

anyway I am autistic and I don't mind being weird, and idk why you're so fixated on that as a value judgement or a way to shame me. you have to understand how little I value the moral standards of the average ao3 fan or the 'normal' signifier.

on to your next grievance - my critiques of the authors as people. I just read through my entire list and I am extremely specific and detailed about why I hated those works, going into poor characterization and soulless, boring writing. I specify if the works are confusing, infantalizing, bioessentialist, out of character, nonsensical, overwrought, passionless, disrespectful, insensitive, boring, poorly researched, misogynistic. is it really unfair to extrapolate from racist writing or an unwillingness to self-educate that the writer has racist ideas, and that might bleed out into their behavior and actions in the real world? that someone who writes an AU that doesn't make sense for the character didn't understand the characters' journey? that someone who writes a nonsensical story doesn't know what they're doing? that's just drawing conclusions based on what the writers themselves have already posted. that's entirely within the scope of a reader and any argument to the contrary is both absolutely absurd and an insult to the intelligence of literally any reader, of anything

but on that page I barely talk about the people who wrote them. except for the author who was white? because I know she's white, I looked her up and I think her writing of Chinese characters is really awkward and bad. I've also called a few writers racist idiots, but their fics were really poorly written, and the other one got mad when being corrected on cultural inaccuracies, so I mean. is that a stretch? like, maybe, but it is really unfair? I think no. it's not even that personal of an attack. but by and large I don't even care about the authors, and I don't know why you're getting so defensive of them when I'm simply judging their work and not them as people.

no matter how much of a fun hobby anyone claims fanfic is, it's not a form of media uniquely exempt from criticism. and I don't think it's healthy for any writers to take criticism of their work so personally. that's something for them to take responsibility for if they're going to post their stuff on the internet, and by extension readers need to be okay with that too.

also I gave them all gold stars...ao3 girlies can't appreciate a passionate and thoughtful critique smh.

back to my tag request, which is something that makes my personal blog usable for me - trying to act like an unusual tag request is the same as making assumptions about people based on what they write and post publicly is both unfair and really shitty of you, anon. is my 'weird' request really as bad as calling someone a misogynist for writing something sexist? I DO judge people for what they decide to publicly put into the world, and rightfully so. people have a responsibility for their creations. meanwhile there is absolutely no reason to judge me for my tagging requests no matter how strange they seem to you, because they're absolutely harmless. this isn't hypocrisy and I don't understand why you seem to think it is.

and I don't go out of my way to be an asshole - if someone's first language isn't english or if they're clearly not an experienced writer, I'm not going to be a dick about it. I mean, I try. I barely have over 100 followers. the anti-rec page is hard to get to, and notposted anywhere but my blog. I have never harassed anyone, or encouraged harassment. I don't even comment negative reviews. I purposefully didn't tags the recs when they were posts because I didn't want people finding them, and I don't even talk about my interests on other websites, much less spread my rec list around. this is purely a personal project I did for fun while under one of the most stressful times of my life to share with my online friends, and I don't regret it. I had a blast. this is nothing I wouldn't post on my blog or talk about with my friends anyway. I don't mind being criticized for it, since it's public too. I just don't feel bad about it either nor do I feel like apologizing or taking down the page.

so yeah idk what you expected from me but I don't really give a shit that a bunch of fanfic readers are mad at me for having standards. you (general you) simply cannot expect to publish something on a public website with a massive fandom and then whine when a random stranger on the internet dares criticizes you. one of these writers is a published author! if she's one of the people upset - learn to take some criticism! maybe it'll improve her writing! and I'm hardly posting on the front page of a major website here, I don't even know how that sub found my list because I don't really post about it on here either unless specifically asked about it

anyway this ask got me to go back and read that page again and I had such a good time revisiting it that I'm linking it. so hi everyone read my anti-rec list it's genuinely so funny and I'm very proud of it and it's actually quite well-thought out so yeah i'm not ashamed or embarrassed but thanks for letting me know as this is kind of fun news and brightened up the day

ALSO I feel like there's so much focus on the anti-rec page when I have a lovingly crafted and THEMED rec list right there split into equal sections, all carefully and appropriately titled with summaries, ratings, trigger warnings...I'm very proud of my rec list most of all. in fact, the anti-rec list was the wild child I tacked on at the end for a laugh when I really needed to complain

bascially tho I'm a complete stranger who put like six fanfics on a list and talked about them because I didn't like them so idk why everyone's freaking out. well knowing ao3's allergies to the slightest criticism I guess I do know why, but it IS deeply unserious. anon. pretend I'm looking you right in the eye. you know this. I don't need to be blessed. it is deeply unserious. it's going to be fine.

[sizzlingpatrolfox]

More than whether he has a girlfriend or not, JK's persistence in feeding his y/n's delusions is annoying. And then he wonders why his fans are so crazy and stalkery. If you leave your gate open and house unlocked, I won't be able to act like it's not partially your fault when you get robbed blind. So if you spend all your time making statements like ARMYs are my girlfriends and ohh I have no time for one, and then your fans stalk you to the gym, or spend their hours trying to look into your house - I don't want to victim blame but maybe JK should take some responsibility too especially since he's obviously benefiting in other ways which is why he keeps doing this.

I'm glad Jimin grew out of this phase - he always set boundaries but he used to be a bit more lenient indulging this sort of behaviour in the past. Nowadays he almost always (sweetly) shuts y/n's down and even shipping-wise, he treats all the members pretty similarly - not that that helps much but still. JK with his y/n's and Tae with his shippers - they should really tone it down.

- I doubt JK is lying but all he said is that he doesn't have a girlfriend. He didn't confirm or deny the video. Chances are she's just a hookup and today's remarks will be enough to kill this whole discourse. Plus he posted a new Tiktok so that'll be a good distraction too.

Well it stemmed from a pretty gross violation of privacy so it's just as well I guess.

Tae should take some notes honestly. Him staying mum during the photo leaks, the whole following and unfollowing Jennie ig debacle and the (in my opinion) botched soft launch of their relationship in Paris - that was one L after another.

---

No, he didn't say it wasn't him in the video. And there are more photos of him inside his apartment, from the same angle of the video. I only saw one where he's cooking and it's literally the same kitchen, same trashbins and all. I'm pretty sure it is him in that video.

I also never said that was his girlfriend, just a girl he was having sex with, so this changes nothing for me because my question was "is it Jungkook in that video?" no "does Jungkook have a girlfriend right now?" There is a difference.

Besides, he said he's not going to sue them - why couldn't he have clarified that it's not him in the video in the same sentence? Just saying that someone was spreading lies about him, or spreading false footage claiming it's him would've been fine. He confirmed tho that there's something that could be sued, he's just not going to. He also said he doesn't have a girlfriend right now because he wants to work. But back then when the video was allegedly filmed he wasn't working, so.

Not to mention everyone -shippers included- saying "he should sue those stalkers" like girlssss I thought that wasn't him being stalked? JSKSJD but well. That's about the fandom and not really about him.

I can't with jikookers tho, because some others are saying "well, he's not going to admit to having a girlfriend" and they're right. Jikookers have spent two years calling Jimin and Jungkook liars but now they're trying to act like the bigger person acting like they're offended at people calling him opportunistic and an editor of the truth. Like they don't do that themselves everytime their imagination of jikook doesn't fit reality.

For the record, I actually believe they would deny a girlfriend even if they had one. I said that months and months ago, that they would deny a relationship if it was the best thing to do because they're putting their careers first. ESPECIALLY Jungkook now, who's so desperate for fame. He'd literally be the first to deny a girlfriend the most vehemently even if he had one.

Not to mention it was the wrong place and time to say "actually yeah I have a girlfriend". Like I'm going to need people to be real.

The women who date people like them know that. They know they're not going to be acknowledged publicly. Chen was it? From exo. He's not even as famous as BTS and he never admitted to having a girlfriend, even though a lot of his fans already knew about it. He only came through when he had to get married, and that's what most do. So, if idols who are far less popular than BTS are keeping their romantic lives private, do army really think BTS -who have way more to lose- wouldn't do the same?????

As fun as gossip is and sometimes you just want to watch the world burn, I also don't really believe that they should admit to relationships. Part of me thinks that in case of taennie for example, all those photos were leaked and they've been seen together, they should've acknowledged it out of respect. On the other hand, they don't really owe anyone an explanation.

There's stuff that bothers me on a personal level, like once Harry Styles said he's never had a public relationship, when in fact everyone in the world who's interested could make a timeline of every single relationship he's ever had in his life because of how public he was about it. But... the thing is he was seen in public with his girlfriends but he never acknowledged them to the public. He doesn't get asked about them in interviews, fans don't ask him about it either. He doesn't even speak to the fans outside of his concerts. He definitely never brings up his girlfriends on conversations either. He doesn't show up to events with them.

So that bothered me a lot when he said that because it's very gaslight-y imo. Like, dude... we've seen it all. We've seen you with them. And the thing about taennie is pathetic to me in a similar fashion because we've also seen it and everybody pretends it doesn't exist. And the thing about following her on Instagram and victimizing himself like the app had done something wrong to him. That was so shitty. One thing Taehyung does have in his favor is that at least he never really denied it either.

In conclusion, I'm just a girl and human and sometimes my curiosity gets the best of me and there's a lot of lingering frustration about not knowing everything. At the same time, logically and empathetically, I understand that people are under no obligation to disclose personal information.

[linkspooky]

Big fan of your metas, I somewhat disagree with that character conflict and thoughts dropped post shibuya. Why I do post shibuya execution wasn’t the best I wouldn’t say characters just did things for the plot or we couldn’t understand them (ex mha). I do hope gege learned a lot from jjk, he even recognized some of the flaws within the story and his next manga is up to his potential.

If that's your opinion then that's okay.

We don't actually disagree anon. I was just exaggerating my opinion on the second half of Jujutsu Kaisen. I don't really, want to spend time writing out a nuanced critique of Jujustu Kaisen because the question of "thing good / thing bad" doesn't interest me.

To clarify my opinion, the first half of Jujutsu Kaisen has a lot of character based conflict. In the first arc Megumi and Yuji have different views of being a sorcerer and Megumi criticizes Yuji's blind desire to save everyone. In the Kyoto training arc, not only are the Kyoto students willing to kill Yuji because they don't know him and believe he's too dangerous to let live, but also each matchup has a conflict. Mai and Maki have a deep personal conflict. Momo trying to educate Nobara are feminism. In the third arc Yuji kills Eso and Kechizu and him and Nobara have differing opinions on it.

Whereas the second half of Jujutsu Kaisen most of these plotlines are really rushed through, in service of getting the characters from point a to point b as quickly as possible. My primary example is how much Mai and Maki's conclusion was rushed through by fridging Mai.

None of these are dealbreakers for me though, so I don't really care to discuss the topic any further. Thank you for sending me the ask though and sharing your opinion. I'm open to discussion on most things but like, criticizing Jujutsu Kaisen isn't really interesting to me.

[adelarsims]

Simblr New Year's Resolution 2024

i was tagged by @pralinesims 💙

ok, so when i say resolutions, don't expect me to actually see all of it through. my resolutions aren't resolute, they're more like a desperate hope that one day i'll suddenly wake up a normal person who can accomplish things. with that clarified:

What's your Resolution for your Simblr?

i want to start posting my story about the morgyn's bloodline and vampires because it's so dark and cool and complicated and living in my head rent free for two years now

or i want to start posting my story about morgan and wolfgang and their families i also want to post this one-shot story about gunther that eats my brain ever since i saw the poem

i want to finish cc projects that i started and dropped because i want to run and hide crying the moment i encounter an imperfection in my work

i want to learn to create cas poses

or, if i'm being greedy, even animations, because i yearn for more sensual but non-sexual ww animations, like hugging and holding each other

i want to make a download page and character page

i want to learn to make specular maps for different types of shine because alpha channels scare me to death

What do you want from the Sims Franchise?

properly working disabilities! for example, i have two wheelchair users among my OCs, i would die for them to have chairs that they could use all the time. i want proper prosthetics, deafness, blindness, some most known neurodivergent traits

bands! i don't even ask for band managing and getting famous and all, i just need the option to play the same music together when a few people are playing instruments in one room, they don't have to be an actual band

a world that has slums, dirty, poor areas, trash and graffiti everywhere, rusty and broken shit

more gothy/punky/grungy clothes

more teen-centered and magic-centered packs because i want new clothes and maybe even furniture for my morgynverse and munchverse

very unrealistic at this point, but i would love to have a second teen age stage, so early teens and late teens could be different and have different activities and interests and way of communicating with others, because like… 13-14 yo are still playing barbies, 17-19 yo do a lot of adult stuff. i don't want my sims to miss out on any of that, and i want to be able to play it out that 13 and 18 yo brothers are worlds apart

a social centered pack whose gameplay isn't actually shallow, or maybe new social interactions that are usable outside of one niche pack and then never again

Any other New Years Resolutions?

i hope i wouldn't contribute to my steady health decline too much this year because i don't have money to deal with it. a painless 2024 would be nice, thank you.

and i want to start living by "better done than perfect". i understand that with my brain, just not my mind yet

i dunno who didn't do it yet because i'm late to hop on this train again, so if you want, please do

[theamityelf]

while reading your Koma/Kamuaegi fics I kinda started wondering about the end goal of the pairings you have tagged. Like it might just be me being blind or not grasping it because they’re still wip and only have a few chapters and I’m not used to reading stories the way you write them. or reading slowburns?but I don’t really see to much of a physical attraction between the characters ( to clarify I don’t mean in like a sexual way or whatever) but it only really seems that komeada likes Naegi for his talent or Kamakura’s only interested because of the emotional responses he gets out of it. What I’m trying to ask is are we gonna get that romancey stuff or are you going for a more queer platonic route. Again this might just be me not being able to pick up or notice the signs cuz I’m stupid or whatever, I’m kinda new to your tumblr and your fics so I wasn’t really sure and decided to ask in a ridiculously long ask lol.

This is a tough question. (And no worries about the length of the ask!) I can only give my own interpretation, because I feel like different people can feel or think differently as they read it, and I think the readers' interpretation is also valid. (Also, I get self-conscious when I talk too much about my own writing, because I feel like I come across as arrogant, but I'm getting over that. 😁)

I would say that Kamukura and Nagito aren't in a place where they can have uncomplicated reasons for liking someone, if that makes sense? And you're right to point out that kind of in both cases, the initial pull for them is that they see a good feeling (Nagito would put it differently, but it's functionally similar) and just hurl themselves at it, and the good feeling happens to come from Makoto. That's not to say he's incidental to the whole thing; they don't get good feelings from him for no reason. They get good feelings from him because they've seen who he is and something in them feels soothed, or comforted, or awakened, or whatever else. They just have roundabout ways of expressing or acknowledging those feelings.

In Nagito's case (and I assume, for him, we're talking "A Panel of Hope Experts"), he's not just attracted to Makoto because he's the Ultimate Hope, but also (among other things) because Makoto didn't want Enoshima to die and Nagito desperately needs someone to tell him he doesn't deserve to die. His Ultimate Hope title gives him a level of authority that means Nagito feels justified taking his word for it when he says he deserves to be alive, but he probably wouldn't be wrapping himself so tightly around an Ultimate Hope he didn't fully trust to keep reinforcing that he's worthy of life.

The fact that both Nagito and Makoto are so in need of reassurance means that it's pretty easy to imagine a scenario where they just kind of...maintain each other? Like, Makoto's "You're not trash, and you don't deserve to die," for Nagito's "Nothing that happened was your fault, and you're worthy of being called the Ultimate Hope." In Chapter 7, we see Makoto listening to Nagito's praise and taking comfort in it, and we see Nagito really enjoying being listened to and kind of relied on. And I would say that feeling that existed between them there is fertile land for something nice or something super dangerous.

But I'm getting off-track. Generally, for Nagito, I would say that any genuine attraction he feels for Makoto, he is unwilling or unable to think of it as such, because the moment this stops being service of the Ultimate Hope and starts being, well, kidnapping a guy he likes and trusts because he can see an excuse to do so that fits with his personally-held convictions, then he loses his justification for pursuing what makes him feel good. In Chapter 3, when he thinks about the fact that he finds Makoto "pretty", his next thought is to compare and contrast his beauty to Enoshima's. In Chapters 5 and 6, he becomes very conscious of the wind because he considers it an excuse to touch Makoto's hair. There is a point where he is explicitly waiting for the wind to blow so that he can touch Makoto's hair again. These are manifestations of, as Hajime put it, "interpersonal attraction" that are separate from his "ideological worship".

In Kamukura's case, I would say that he usually just doesn't consider himself subject to feelings in general, let alone attraction to anyone, and as a result it doesn't occur to him to think of things that way unless he's given a ton of evidence. In "Property Rights of the Ultra-Talented", I think he pretty much does consider himself attracted to Naegi, but in "Despair's Throbbing Heart," he's not there yet. And both of these are Yandere Kamukura stories, so that informs things. Not to spoil, but he is (going to be) a different kind of yandere in "Property Rights" than he is in "Despair's Throbbing Heart". And I don't think enough chapters there are up yet for me to go into more detail without spoiling, lol.

I guess TL;DR is: Nagito and Kamukura are not super reliable narrators or expositors of how they feel or what they want. I don't think I can speak to the end goal of the ships, really? I can say that they like each other and that they are not in the best place emotionally to express those feelings in a healthy way. I hope all that made sense, lol.

[go-learn-esperanto]

Reading fics where one character is blind from one eye can be a pain. I know what it is like so I have to sit through the weirdest descriptions. Yes, you can still cry from the blind eye I assure you. No, you don't need to say “Their eye lit up” or even worse “They're functional eye lit up” saying eyes is not offensive. In fact, having to clarify every single time is a bit annoying. We use figures if speech everyday and we aren't gonna change them just for this specific thing. If the person reading already knows the character is blind from one eye just keep the narration as you'd write it normally because you're actually alienating the reader by making that character's narration always different. It takes you out of the immersion of the story.

I have been like this my whole life and I say eyes even though I know I only see from one. I don't want to bring attention to me every time I speak and frankly - it's easier. It just is. Because I'm not thinking every single second of the day “I can't see from an eye so it wouldn't make sense to say this”. I just say what everyone else is saying. For blind people it's a bit of the same concept. In the sense of if you say “See?” (synonym of do you understand) or “Come and see this” (synonym of I wanna show you something) it's not offensive. They might make a joke like “You want me to see?” but it's usually in good fun.

Also, if you're blind from an eye and that eye is white (because of damage in the cornea) it's very common for people to use a prosthetic that is a kind of a semi-circle that goes above the eye (or replaces it). It works in a way that if you move your eyes the prosthetic will move too. If the prosthetic is good enough normal people won't even realise it is one (source: Me. All the people that meet me think that the eye with the prosthetic is the one I see from and that's really funny). There are two types: The moulded prosthetic (for people with no eye) and the cosmetic shell (worn above the eye) and the only difference between the two is that the shell is much thinner. There are some other types but these are the most common I believe.

Getting injured and blinded may result in the removal of the eye but it's in most cases only if there's a severe infection.

What I mean to say is that in a Modern setting people are most likely not gonna wear an eye patch unless it's too force an eye to develop and not lose it's vision (a complete different situation). If the eye is blind there's no need for an eye patch (of course I understand if the character decides to use one for style purposes. It's just that that isn't the norm. 😄)

Some people prefer for you to not be at their bad side, some people might want people to be at their bad side to help and some other people (like me) do not care™. That depends on the person.

[minina-sys]

Hello, there! My name is Sen!

Pronouns: they/she

I'm an alter within the Minina system (click the link to find out more!). I specifically am from "Group 2", the only subsystem we know of as of now. I wanted to introduce myself on my own post because i am... truly something! (totally not because of the fact Tumblr 10 image limit makes it harder for us all to have an image to represent us, haha 😐)

I won't be tagging this outside of maybe some personal tags, people in this world scare me more than they did in my source!

On another note, i find explaining being a fictive is not a particularly easy task in the first place, throw in being a "love to hate" character from a series about pseudo-cannibalistic people and you've got a real problem! I luckily found a simple solution after much deep thought: Don't explain anything at all!

I can't help but feel a bit disappointed about it though. I'd like to share details about how much of the source material is me, how i differ, the headcanons that seem to have influenced the source memories...

So i will!

Appearance-wise i'm mainly the main Sen Tatasuki appearance from the OG, and the short hair style in :re. I occasionally rock the wrapped up, Mummy-style Eto Yoshimura appearance. Personality is stolen from Sen mostly and some traits from the more Owl-y Eto in :re, but there's a tiny bit of the immature, wrapped up Eto in there as well, i'm sure.

I would like to clarify, we have not finished Vol. 13 of the original manga, nor read any of :re, so this is all in regards to the very poor writing from the anime side of things. 🫤

As for headcanons/AUs that wormed their way in: I survived the fight with Furuta (although that was more an ambiguous death anyway). I'm unsure of Source Eto's age, but mine was more in like with the kiddos (just an old soul, i suppose!).

I also offered the apple and "forbidden knowledge" to Ken, not Kanae. Although i didn't feed him any of my kagune. He wouldn't have wanted it anyway! I just helped him find his memories, much to Haise's dismay, as he had been holding on to those memories for Ken's sake. If i had known i wouldn't have done it...

Haise is still around though, along with all the other Kaneki's, save for a few. After i helped him with his memories, it wasn't long before i found that i didn't completely hate him, and he didn't completely hate me either. In fact, i'd say eventually... something akin to love blossomed... And grew... We didn't have a kid or whatever, but we were a couple. 😅

I don't remember much past my battle with Furuta, so many memories themselves are only bits and pieces, with nothing but a blinding light to fill the gaps.

All i know is that i do miss Ken... And i don't like how i'm back to poor living conditions in this new situation as an alter...

How do ficitves cope? Get help? How do you go to a therapist and get help for trauma, on things that most would doubt is even real? Am i real? How do you talk to "friends" you just met about how you've lost, what feels like at least, everything?

Sigh. It ended up all gloomy anyway, i suppose... Just realized this really is like an old style blog post... I wonder if Tumblr used to be like this...

Anyway, starting to get all sleepy again so guess that means i'm getting kicked out of the body! (Or maybe it really is bedtime...) Perhaps i'll write again sometime!

Until then! Ciao!

–Sen

[goodluckclove]

I just wanted to clarify this for anyone who read my previous post and might have some assumptions. Or just to say it out loud to a hypothetical audience and not just my wife or close friends.

I'm asexual! The main romance in Blind Trust is an asexual one and guess what it stays asexual motherfucker. Scott Kaufner is ace and falling in love does not make him less ace. His goal in life is to fill his days with virtually every other type of love and while I wouldn't say he's sex-repulsed I'd say he just doesn't think about it.

Ace rep in media is godawful or it's pushed to the sidelines. No no. You read Blind Trust you're going to get many pages of intense intimacy that doesn't lead to fucking and I personally believe it doesn't have to.

Scott is also intersex, and I am not, which leads me to state right now that while my book is just shy over 180k, I don't spend a single goddamned word talking about what's in his pants. After immense research, I determined you actually don't have to do that ever. I didn't even really make him being intersex an element of the plot, because I'm not going to pretend that my shit compares to that in the slightest.

You want gender issues? Edgar Gallows was forced to forget that he came out as nonbinary as a child. He thinks he's a straight guy and he's wrong on both accounts. Scott, meanwhile, is very confident in being a guy that wears dresses. He doesn't even think it's radical and will get a little confused if you tell him it is because he has Big Homeschool Kid Energy.

So yeah, that's the Clove Guarantee for future readers of Blind Trust. It's an entirely non-horny book unless you are horny for the things I happen to be horny for, which is mainly non-sexualized passion and tender hand-holding. In which case it is STEAMY.

That is all.

[idgivemyeyesfor-mattmurdock]

i liked your original post reminding people to be mindful of matt's blindness when writing fanfics for him, but your new one is quite odd, to be honest.

anyone who writes for him is free to interpret his character based on what stood out to them in the show, and how they use that interpretation to insert or conduct matt in their stories is very honestly up to them. there are famous and generally agreed-upon headcanons for matt because of popular fanfics in the dd fandom (which i'm also a big fan of), but ultimately they're just that: headcanons.

you may interpret matt as someone who would worship whoever he's dating, but many might not interpret his character as the same. i know you mean well, but i feel that being authoritative over how to write his character takes out the fun in writing fanfics for characters.

OMG HI!!! Thank you so much for responding!!!

Remember: this is my opinion. Not fact. I am not claiming my words to be fact, nor word I ever <3

Totally get where you're coming from; let me clarify my post.

So, there are fictional men like, Jess Mariana, Peter Parker (comic book, not live action) Obi-Wan Kenobi, and Clark Kent, that I feel like can be written overall in a pretty safe and vague way...they're the sweet guys of the fandom, and if you were to put the worst dialog on the planet by those characters but they were having picnic with so and so person, I honestly would read it and believe every action and movement.

If you were to write Though, when writing, Anakin Skywalker, Loki, Bruce Wayne, and Matthew Murdock/Daredevil... we enter this new world of layered writing that should be handled in a way that the reader (even if its for fun) gets the density of their personality, and tendencies.

I said, "Remember that Matthew Murdock is Daredevil, and Daredevil is not Matthew Murdock."

That, is what it means... and I don't feel like I have to defend it that much. His character is almost like moonknight in a way when you're writing two at once. Whichever you choose to focus more on, will reveal that personality for itself. Also, I've read some fan fics that do play this out very well. At night, and at all times at night; Daredevil is rougher with his love intrest, adn himself... vs the day where it's more puppy love.

"Sure he'd want to get a girlfriend, propose THEN have a kid. HOWEVER, throw in a wildcard of a women into the mix, and the order will have to change. Or, throw in if the oc hangs out with Matthew, she may go for the more traditional approach to a family. Vs, a character like Mercedes Castle (My OC. Check out Cherie on Wattpad!) who is more like Daredevil, but spends more time with Matt, then that changes the mix entirely because she's not traditional, but he is."

Again, this goes with handling with person you're oc is hanging around more often.... going back to the daredevil at night thing, I feel like choosing his choices for lets say the oc (at night) says, "I'm pregnant." right? Daredevil (imo) won't be as happy about that, but come the morning, Matthew Murdock plead his heart out to her and ask for "forgiveness" for being so rude.

"Matthew love interest, please remember that they become his god. He worships them, so he will bend the side of him he doesn't like to please her."

So, this can get see as authoritative towards his character. I get my wording was a lil off but, hear me out.

A lot of fan fics i've read MASTER this concept of "worshiping" the oc. But, I'm not saying whatever I say is fact, but in the show he does have a tendency to put xyz character in place of his own self (depending on how much he's 'into' them.) Sure, I get what you mean like, "you may interpret Matt as someone who would worship whoever he's dating, but many might not interpret his character as the same." saying that it takes away the 'fun' but hear me out. We want authenticity, and it feel better as the reader when you are given that raw dialog, and movements. my opinion: I love the worshiping idea, and it plays really well in a prompt when something happen to character B, and he has to give everything up to help them

Why am I writing this?:

Well because I really care about this character, and I hate to see such an intriguing person, get subjected to things that cross their moral standard.

we all have the capabilities to grow and accept others opinions!

and three, well, I just have been writing him for so long, that when I see a post like, "his eyes met my face" I'm like... girly. No. No he didn't because he's blind. And, when I see a pregnancy scare, and she's like, "He slipped his black mask away from his face and hugged me in excitement, saying 'I am so excited to start a family with you.'" I'm like... waitttttt hold up, and hear me out.

If you have a problem with this, please send in a request! Also, I'm open for requests about Matt, so enjoyyyy queens!

[littlekingbergara]

Just prefacing by saying this isn't an argument but I approach u with a discussion ;

I have read a lot of very grounded opinions on how expecting support and opinions abt palestinian suffering from stars in any fandom, but in this case from ryan shane and steven, is not reasonable

and demanding it, instead of focusing on actual coverage and spreading awareness undermines the value of the actual issue at hand etc.

Do you think however,

that a segment of this demand comes from people who have lost ppl in gaza or just mourn from seeing the pain and just wanna see ppl like shane,ryan and Steven, who i think are very socially aware, just say they are mindful (and I'm one person so I only have myself as an example)?

Bc i heard Brittany broski say smth that kind of 'clarified' this issue around looking at ur celebs for opinions- i feel like this portion of ppl dont want like, a researched, journal opinion piece/analysis from the watcher boys. But just solidarity, which is different. Just the air of awareness. Just a "i am seeing this and i stand in solidarity with the palestinian people". Because i never go beyond muna and mohammed el kurd or sbeih for Actual opinions and analysis on gaza and other parts of occupied Palestine. But watcher has brought me comfort and I've seen them comment about certain usa-involved injustice issues, so usa being super duper involved w israel financially etc begs me to ask- why dont they maybe just share one awareness post or like, hint their solidarity.

(also btw in case ive missed it, dyou know anyone from watcher who has posted about this? Bc im not sure I've seen any)

Again, this is something that i just wanted to think about with someone from the fandom I'm in, this isn't me asking u explanations, just what u think bye!

yeah i'm sure the people asking them to speak out are grieving for the palestinian people whether they personally know someone there or not. i think everyone spreading awareness and calling for a ceasefire and working to not let the world turn a blind eye to the genocide that's happening right in front of us are all grieving in some way.

and you're right, nobody is looking to them for a statement on public policy and international affairs. i don't think it's unreasonable to want them to show solidarity or awareness at the very least. it's disappointing that they haven't. i also get that they might be of the mindset that people come to their channel for comfort and an escape from real life so they may not want to threaten that comfort by bringing such a sensitive and painful topic to the channel, but like you said it doesn't take much to make a social media post affirming their stance, even on their personal accounts.