#also joey’s overdramatic so it works

[sm0lcatfish]

the empires s1 scene where lost emperor joey taunts shrub while she’s in the cage but it’s https://youtu.be/fktlkNNp8Mw

[theonethatwatchesalotofshows]

Ranking every teen drama I've watched

I have gotten really into teen dramas lately, because it's quarantine I can't go out and have fun, but I can still watch other people my age going out and having fun and doing things I don't get to do. Anyway I haven't seen all teen dramas, I was never interested in supernatural ones, so you won't find Vampire Diaries and similar shows on this list.

From worst to best:

The Secret Life of the American Teenager

I will never understand how this show ran for five seasons. It will forever remain a mystery to me. This show is so bad it's good. The writing resembles a wattpad story, Amy's pregnancy is inconsistent (like how was she five months pregnant for like five or six episodes, aren't the episodes supposed to be set a week apart?), the acting is bad (that is not to say that Molly Ringwald or Shailene Woodley are bad actresses, obviously they're not, I'm talking about Amy's sister that has the same facial expression no matter what her mood is supposed to be), some of the views this show expresses are very old-fashioned and damaging (the madonna-whore binary, the fact that they can't even utter the word abortion) and every single male character on this show is a creep and a cheater. I can't believe I watched like thirteen episodes of this. I will never get that time back.

Weirdest moment: "I'm a whore!" "Well, you're my whore." (Was this supposed to be romantic??)

Best moment: none

Glee

This is going to be unpopular and don't get me wrong, I like Glee, but I feel like the writers put much more thought into the musical numbers than the storylines. Again, Quinn's pregnancy is inconsistent (but I'm starting to think TV shows are always inconsistent about pregnancies), the characters don't look like they're in high school at all, the cheerleaders wear their uniforms 24/7 for no reason (Quinn even wore it to her sonogram, like seriously?) the whole celibacy club thing is weird and Mr Schue is a terrible teacher. However, the visuals and the musical numbers are great, Sue Sylvester is iconic (albeit also a terrible teacher) and some of the scenes are really emotional (Kurt singing I Wanna Hold Your Hand made my sister cry) so overall, it's pretty good.

Weirdest moment: Finn praying to grilled cheese (what??)

Best moment: Quinn giving birth to Bohemian Rhapsody, Kurt singing I Wanna Hold Your Hand

Dawson's Creek

I LOVE their 90s' outfits and Joey and Pacey are really otp material, but I just can't stand Dawson! He got mad that Joey didn't tell him about his mother's affair, as if it was her place to get involved. She was 15! It's understandible she didn't want to get tangled into that mess. He also slut-shamed Jen in a really gross way. He literally stopped talking to her for a day when he found out she isn't a virgin. Why are both Joey and Jen into this guy?? This would've been a much better show if it was called Joey's Creek or Pacey's Creek.

Weirdest moment: the way Dawson's mom confessed her affair to her husband. I don't think any irl human would use this choice of words. Also that scene where Dawson's father was teaching him how to kiss while Joey was watching. Cringe.

Best moment: any time Joey and Pacey are bickering. My shipper heart!

Pretty Little Liars

I loved the book version of this, but the TV version seems way too dramatic. First of all, they romanticized Aria and Ezra's relationship (ewww) and made the whole thing seem much more overdramatic. I don't know how to explain it, I mean the books are also dramatic but the TV show somehow took it to a whole new level. None of the girls look like they're in high school, but I love the way they dress and do their makeup. It's almost as though the writers put more thought into their outfits than storylines. I still loved watching it until Netflix took it off, though.

Weirdest moment: Spencer somehow trying to block A's number from her laptop in the middle of a park and then being confused that it didn't work. Weren't you supposed to be the smart one, Spencer?

Best moment: Haleb in the shower, hiding from Hanna's mom.

Skins

This is a classic. Effy is iconic (I somehow heard about her even before watching Skins) and the musical number at the end of season 1 was out of nowhere but still somehow fit perfectly into the story. I also give this show point for being one of the few TV shows where teen characters are actually played by real life teens. They look their age, talk their age (no "I reject reality" or other cringy lines like that) and aren't unrealistically perfect like characters from American teen dramas tend to be. They look like people you might actually meet in high school. However the show loses points for all the continuity errors (are 8 episodes supposed to be the whole school year??) and the number of unneccessary death/tragic accidents. It seemed kind of over-the-top and unneccessarily dark and brutal at times.

Weirdest moment: Chris's graphic death

Best moment: Wild World

Euphoria

The Gen Z American version of Skins, but with better visuals. Much better. I loved the aesthetic, the colors, the lighting and glitter. Zendaya's a great actress and I give this show points for casting an actual trans actress in the role of Jules. However I find it weird that all guys on this show are complete irredeemable assholes (except of Jules's dad and Ethan that is). Are we supposed to just root for the girls and not the guys? Also I find it hard to believe that any of these characters are actually 16/17. They have sex all the time (yeah teenagers have sex sometimes but on this show they treated Kat as some kind of a chaste nun for being a virgin at 16) and have seemingly no rules and no curfew. It would've been much more believable if they were in college.

Weirdest moment: Nate breaking into Tyler's house, beating him up and then taking a shower. The audacity this guy has!

Best moment: "You did this to me!" and Rue having an anxiety attack on the stage in theater class

Gossip Girl

I know this is also an unpopular opinion, because many claim Gossip Girl is the best teen drama ever, but for me it just got way too soapy as the seasons went on. The first two seasons were believable, even though they didn't really look like they were in high school, but after that it was just more and more weird plot points. I will give this show points for the fashion (I mean Blair's headbands and school uniform inspired a fashion line), the acting ("I killed someone"- iconic) and the choice of background music (Nate and Serena kissing to Paparazzi, Thanksgiving with Watcha Say). Despite the wild twists and turns of events, I just had to keep watching because this show had me hooked.

Weirdest moment: Bart Bass somehow flying off the building for no reason (seriously, what he did there had no logical explanation and defied laws of physics), Dan being Gossip Girl, Bart faking his death and returning more evil than before, Serena becoming Gossip Girl, the affidavit, everyone randomly stopping going to college... there are so many but Bart takes the cake I guess

Best moment: the Thanksgiving flashbacks from season 1, Dan placing a plastic crown on Blair's head

Freaks and Geeks

This is one of the few shows where high school is depicted realistically. It's not all glitter and parties and not everyone has sex and does drugs. Okay, I admit, the bullying was over the top and it was weird how no adults cared but other than that, it was pretty spot-on. It was emotional without being too dramatic and far-fetched and also had funny moments. Yes some of the characters may have been stereotypes but at least the show seemed self-aware of that. It's truly a shame we only got 18 episodes of this show, while The Secret Life of the American Teenager somehow got five seasons??? I don't get it.

Weirdest moment: when Cindy suddenly got super mean once she started dating Sam

Best moment: Daniel showing up at Kim's doorstep, Sam breaking down in tears in the end of 'Garage Door'

Gilmore Girls

I'm not sure this one counts as a teen drama, maybe it's more of a dramedy but I'm still including it here. It's funny, the dialogue is witty and full of obscure pop-culture references and the relationships between generations complex. Same as with Freaks and Geeks, the portrayal of high school is pretty realistic. Characters are shown studying and taking tests and not just partying all the time. However the show loses points for getting weirdly soapy in the 7th season. The dialogue wasn't as good and the camera angles were soap opera like and the storylines weren't very good either. You could really tell the show changed show-runners. The earlier seasons are the best. It's hard to explain but something about them feels cozy like a warm blanket and a cup of hot chocolate on a rainy day.

Weirdest moment: Lorelai marrying Chris and then making the whole "you're the man I want to want" speech, Lorelai defending and loving Dean for no reason

Best moment: Rory's graduation speech, Rory yelling at Chris and calling him out for not having been there for her, Then She Appeared, "Yes Emily, you may go first"... there are so many!

[youtriggeredmytrapcard]

After a good break, Yugi could finally get his rest in which Yami could benefit from as well. The physical exhaustion eventually went away. And the mind, too, could comprehend things much easier. Yami’s had no room for any new thoughts, so now he also got to catch up and process the happened rationally. While the battle against Leviathan played like a film record in his mind, there was another significant moment that occurred in between other memories.

Yugi lives up to his promise of attending the GC while Yami has been quiet for a bit. It’s as though Yugi knew what it was about all along. So when Yami had realized everything, a slightly excited ‘Yugi—‘ was sound from him and his Partner’s ‘yup’ followed to confirm it was definitely real and he heard it too.

Now that everyone’s gathered at the place, they’re waiting for Kaiba to show up.

“I think this is my queue!” says Yugi before swapping with Yami, although the latter didn’t quite expect it.

“Wh— Yugi!” the Pharaoh flinches, quickly snapping out of his trail of thought. Slightly panicked, Yami’s eyes widened before he glances around. He would guess this is Yugi’s way of teasing (or he would personally argue that if Yami won’t stop thinking about Kaiba for a second then he should be the one meeting him instead). All that pouting wouldn’t let Yami back in so he takes a second to prepare mentally. It shouldn’t be that big of a deal but it somehow— is, very much so. But he doesn’t expect anything to have changed. The most he expects is that he would probably exchange awkward looks with Kaiba. That and they wouldn’t talk about the happened. It’s difficult for Yami to accept the reality of it, so he could only assume it’s the same for Kaiba... Does Kaiba regret ever asking? // For Ori!Kaiba. 8) ... also Yami getting his revenge when Joey asks about the Underdog card. Yugi vc: Oh, very mature, Pharaoh >8I

There was rarely a break, for Seto Kaiba. The corporate world never rested, and while Kaiba had his company back from Dartz, it was in a sorry state. Stock prices and and reputation with the public had hit an all-time-low, as many still blamed the Duel Monster attacks on KaibaCorp's technology. Plenty of people blamed the entire almost-apocalypse on him. (Curse those stupid Orichalcos Soldiers for wearing something on their arm that resembled a Duel Disk.) Thus, as much as he'd love to rest, he had damage to repair. Publicity stunts to plan, business relationships to fix.

Other ones as well, he supposed.

Kaiba had felt the Seal of Orichalcos' magic-- not just on the receiving end. He'd felt the Seal's ultimate price, yes, and felt it inflicted on others. He saw the souls he collected, slowly filling up the copies of the card he took as trophies. And once he accepted that grim reality, it forced him to go back through his memory, at everything he'd previously brushed off as a trick. One big one stood out: How Yugi lost a duel with the Seal of Orichalcos, and stayed alive. Something he’d originally taken as concrete evidence that the whole thing was a myth!

He knew the answer already. Because, just like the man had tried to tell him once in the helicopter at Battle City, he's not Yugi. He's someone else. A spirit that lives within the chambers of the Millennium Puzzle. Kaiba didn't want to accept it. But... that's the answer. It had been natural, to ask what he should be called.

Yami. Darkness. How very dramatic-- Kaiba didn't think he'd ever seen that personality as Yugi's 'dark side,' with how often he preached about the Heart of the Cards and friendship. Though perhaps it did fit, looking back on some of their... past moments. The outcome of the rooftop duel at Duelist Kingdom suddenly made a lot more sense.

Thoughts lingered. Memories gained new context. Right up until the KC Grand Championship Tournament kicked off, what Kaiba had been working tirelessly on to boost his company's image. As it turns out, Yugi would be there. Heh, Yugi was the grand prize for the whole thing. Not that it would be Yugi participating in the duel, he's sure.

Kaiba entered the Duel Dome hallway where the other duelist was waiting-- perhaps not dressed quite how one would expect. By all accounts, he was wearing a normal suit. Tailored to fit him and no-doubt expensive, but no pointed shoulders, no overdramatic coattails, not even a KC logo in sight. Just a white suit, blue dress shirt, and dark blue tie. For once, he had decided to take the advice of his PR team-- this tournament was to promote KaibaLand and his brand, not himself. However, the moment he locked eyes with Yugi, he felt strangely unlike himself. It's not Yugi.

For a moment, he stopped and stared, frozen. "Looking for something?" Or someone? It seems he'd interrupted-- Yami looked like he was glancing around with wide eyes, just as Kaiba had entered. "... Greetings. Glad you could make it. Though from what Mokuba tells me, you and the rest of the dork parade didn't have much else going on."

A few steps closer. A small pause. Should he do it? Should he say it?

"I'm surprised... to see you out-and-about already," he commented. Already, with the double-meanings. "... Did the others get lost again or something?”

[neonphoenix]

So. DickJoey Princess Bride AU. It doesn’t work quite as well as The Little Mermaid (I swear I’ll finish writing that someday), but after a good ten minutes of thought, I think I’ve managed to make it all fit. More or less.

After Dick leaves/gets kicked out/whatever story you want to go with, he gets hired by Adeline to maintain her farm. While doing so, he meets Joey. As expected, they fall in love. Eventually, Dick decides to go back to Gotham, ostensibly to reconcile with Bruce and maybe get money??? Idk about that; I don’t think there’s any reality where he’d seek Bruce out for money.

He doesn’t come back, Joey receives word of his death, etc. etc.

Prince Humperdink is probably Isherwood, although I’m open to suggestions on that one. He decides he’s going to marry Joey, and Joey’s just like, “Might as well...”

Jason and friends get to be the kidnappers! I’m back and forth on whether to use Artemis and Bizarro or Kory and Roy. Bizarro makes a better Fezzik, but Roy makes a better Inigo Montoya. Either way Jason is Vizzini.

Dick learns of the impending marriage and begins making preparations to leave; while doing so he also overhears that some other kingdom (Make one up ig) is trying to start a war between Florin (Isherwood’s kingdom) and Guilder. This is troubling for obvious reasons, and he uncovers the plot to kidnap Joey. Though he is unable to stop the kidnapping from occurring, he resolves to stage a dramatic rescue.

They reach the cliffs of insanity, yada yada, Dick and Roy chat and fight, Roy recognizes him and they stop fighting. Roy explains that he’s hunting down the man who killed his daughter (Yes I killed off Lian in this AU, no I do not feel good about it), and Dick’s all, “Yeah that’s fair, call me if you need anything, gotta go.”

Dick fights Bizarro, it’s pretty much the same as the fight in the movie, nothing needs to be changed.

He catches up to Jason and Joey; Jason is his generally overdramatic self and proposes they play the poison cup game. Dick recognizes Jason and kinda goes, “You’re alive? What? Dude I’m your brother btw. In case the mask made it hard to tell.” Before proceeding to knock Jason out (because he’s not committing fratricide today).

Joey is sitting off to the side, blindfolded, contemplating how his life reached this point. We all have bad days, but this is significantly worse than your average bad day. He becomes unblindfolded, but doesn’t recognize Dick (read: Mask).

They start moving (Jason gets picked up by his friends), the prince shows up, Joey figures out who Dick is, they go through the fire swamp, get captured by the prince, Joey goes back to the palace, Dick gets tortured to death, fun times all around.

Meanwhile, Jason and co. are trying to track Dick down, because that’s what you do. They find him dead and decide to chuck him in a Lazarus pit. Alternatively, if you want to be close to canon, I’d make the torture guy Lex Luthor and have them force him to resurrect Dick.

They storm the castle, Roy gets his revenge, Jason and Bizarro cause a general ruckus (There is potential for comedy here), and Dick meets up with Joey, after which they make their escape.

Dick offers piratehood up as a viable career option for the outlaws, they take it, and then he and Joey ride off into the sunset.

The End.

[rosesloveletters]

Cotton Candy, Licorice, and Wax Lips!

Thank you so very much for asking! I had lots of fun writing out the responses🥰✨

Cotton Candy: Who’s better at carnival games, you or your f/o?

I am dreadful at any kind of carnival game (I actively avoid them at our local carnival/annual town festival); those types of games are rigged so that you’ll spend your money trying to “win”, even though it’s nearly impossible. 

Luckily for me, J and Pat work well as a team. If they’re in the mood to “play”, Pat takes the lead. He told me that he actually worked for a carnival at one point when he needed extra cash one summer and he ran one of the prize booths, so he is aware of all the little tricks that are necessary to win a big prize and has had lots of practice. It’s always hilarious to see the shock on their faces when Pat is able to win at any game without even batting an eye (and he always gives me the prizes, so it’s a win-win!) 

One of the only other times that Pat gets involved in J’s life of crime is when we go to the carnival. Pat says that he doesn’t mind ripping off a few prize booths, since they rip off the public every year with their lousy pay-outs.” While Pat strikes up a conversation with one of the workers, J will slip inside from the back and swipe a prize or two once they are is distracted; Pat is not averse to petty theft, especially given that these games are targeted to those most easily swindled out of their cash. 

Licorice: If there was an element in your fave’s canon you could change, what would you change?

This is going to be extremely niche, but I’ll say it anyway: I absolutely detest the passing comments and jokes about Patrick’s nationality, i.e. Kat’s father referring to him as “kangaroo boy”, Ms. Perky’s comments in Pat’s first scene of the film and other various insults pinpointing the sole fact that he is Australian. I think it was a bad move on the scriptwriter’s part to add these insults/comments; no one should be picked on, regardless, but it takes a special kind of asshole to insult someone based off of something they cannot change about themselves like race, nationality, ethnicity, etc. It bothers me the more I think about it; I actually prefer that Joey referred to him as “trailer park” rather than something to do with his nationality (even though joking about poverty isn’t funny either.) Perhaps I’m too sensitive and overdramatic, but I did not appreciate those comments that were made (especially since the backstory I have created for Pat involving his childhood in Australia is rather depressing and emotional.) 

Deciding what I would change about J’s canon is a bit more difficult because there are always the simple answers, wishing Batman had not beat him during the interrogation scene or perhaps that his plan had not been foiled in the end scenes, but I wanted to think bigger; I wish someone had actually given him a chance and listened to what he was saying. And I mean, actually listened. I wonder how differently the interrogation scene would have gone if Batman had been like “well, yeah, you’ve actually got a point there” instead of telling J that he is “garbage who kills for money” (even though in one scene J was literally wearing a trash bag lmao.) J is extremely wise in his opinions and observations of society and ‘rich vs. poor’; it would have been interesting to see those who supported him more, like the scenes of riots in Joker 2019. J’s supporters were only shown as those in his ranks that he had filtered from Arkham, but I am certain there had to be others. I would have liked to have seen someone take him more seriously. 

Wax Lips: Have you ever done your f/o’s makeup?

I have not. To my, and I’m sure everyone else’s, surprise J is very particular about how he puts on his makeup, even if he is simply layering it on over the old coating. Also, I have not ever asked him to let me; for me, putting on makeup is very personal and I do not like having my face touched like that by someone else for that long. 

Pat has never had his makeup done by either of us (I couldn’t do that to the poor boy) but he did tell us that the reason he stopped having slumber parties as a young boy because the last time he did, the first kid who fell asleep woke up with the word ‘balls’ written on his forehead and Pat was not about to wake up with something equally as embarrassing on his forehead. 

questions listed from the list of candy themed self-shipping asks

[fantroll-purgatory]

@cheyj05

I’m redoing my old Homestuck oc’s, sorry if he’s bad.

Hey now, I notice that this comment is the beginning of a fair amount of putting your own profile down! We trust that you like Theato because you made him and liked him enough to ask us to help you improve him rather than throw him out altogether, so I’m gonna remove a few of the comments where you’re beating yourself up and proceed as usual, okay?

World: Alternia

Name: Theato Ertaro (I don’t remember how I got this name)

It sounds a little like the word “theater” stretched out to 12 letters, which would make sense given his theming around ballet. Let’s see if we can make him more specific. I like Theato since we can link it back etymologically to all sorts of word roots to mean both spectators and spectacle, which I think works great for someone who idealizes forbidden love.

For the last name, perhaps Elsler, for Fanny Elssler, the ballerina who declined to participate in the famous Grand Pas de Quatre, which featured 4 of the other premiere ballerinas of the era performing on a stage together. I feel that this works on many levels to enhance Theato’s theme: Theato is very much capital-r Romantic himself, the quadrant system makes a pas de quatre more appropriate than a pas de deux to represent romantic woes, Elssler voluntarily bowed out so her exclusion was very much self-inflicted, and the most famous pas de quatre is the pas de cygnets involving the four swans in Swan Lake! Age: 6.92 sweeps (15 years old)

Theme/Story: He’s someone who idealizes “ forbidden love”. He falls in “love” constantly w/ people he knows he can’t have specifically b/e he can’t have them(usually lowbloods and people already in a matespritship and he doesn’t consciously choose people he can’t have). He is in a perpetual state of pining. He’s somewhat based on Swan Lake since that’s, like, the de facto tragic love story. As a result he has somewhat of ballet theme. His hive is next to a lake. His ancestor was probably Troll! Odette or Troll! Romeo or something.

Review Goals: General Overview. His classpect is set in stone though.

Noted! I’ll see what I can retrofit to it then.

Strife Specibus: No clue

Huh. We know that Joey from Hiveswap can use balletkind to kick and dance around her enemies, but I worry about pushing Theato too far into that niche. What about trumpetkind, as a reference to The Trumpet of the Swan? He can whack people with it or even blast ‘em with notes to deafen them! Not to mention it gives a really nice opening for a beatdown song titled “Swan Song.”

Fetch Modus: Also no clue

What about a modus that only accepts items in a “quadrant” with one another? For example, peanut butter (<3 jelly <3< mustard <> sea salt). You cannot captchalogue items by themselves, nor can you remove them without extricating the others in their quadrant.

Blood Color: Cerulean

Lunar Sway: Prospit

Title: Page of Heart

Symbol and Meaning: Scorlo, sign of the devious

Handle: passionateReservoir (also don’t remember where I got this from, it sounds like some innuendo I don’t get)

It doesn’t sound like an innuendo necessarily, but it *does* sound like a nonspecific “I’m a passionate person” handle. What about etoileCroise, both ballet terms but literally translating to “star crossed,” which is how he sees himself?

Quirk: no clue.

Special Abilities: Other than blueblood toughness and super not-getting-mindcontrolled powers, nothing much. He can stand en pointe for longer than 5 seconds which is tough.

Lusus/Guardian: A swan who taught him ballet by aggressively yet gracefully squawking at him and taught him to swim by pushing him in the lake. She’s in the aforementioned lake most of the time and if you try to take her inside she’ll try to peck your eyes out.

Dope. Love her. Huge fan.

Interests: He likes to dance ballet and probably knows how to swim

That tracks! How is he when it comes to media consumption? Since he idealizes forbidden love so much, what novels does he read? What television shows does he watch? Does he have a troll Ao3 account? 

Appearance: His hair is in a wavy short bob most of the time, he only ties it back when he’s practicing. He’s pretty tall and his horns are tilted to the front. He wears a white shirt w/ his symbol on it and a black leotard w/ matching black ballet slippers.

Nice! I’m always here for troll boys with longer hair.

Personality: He’s very overdramatic and chews on the scenery in every word. He’s constantly talking about his latest crush to anyone who’ll listen (and even those who don’t want to). You don’t remember bringing it up yet he’s still talking about them. He’s actually really innocent and nice which makes people less likely to be mad at him b/c they know he’s not trying to railroad the conversation but he still ends up doing it. Basically nice but really self-centered and idealized unhealthy ideas of romance.

So you mentioned that his classpect is set in stone, and I want to expand on what that would mean for his character. We’ve seen that Heart relates both to the self and to romantic woes, and that Pages tend to start their journey by not having a lot of their aspect, while having the potential to grow into someone who can wield it to devastating effect. (Potential being the key word here, since some Pages will never reach this stage.)

So this means that Theato most likely doesn’t have a very stable sense of self when this story begins! He doesn’t have a clear idea of who he is, and pining for others to come sweep him away from his life is likely a manifestation of a desire to have someone else tell him who to be. How do you see that developing over the course of his arc?

Land: Land of Lakes and Emotion

I think it tracks that his land would have lakes, but Emotion is a difficult word to convert to a quest, so how about Land o’ Lakes (haha butter) and Silver, covering the land in places he truly needs to “reflect” on himself to advance?

Anyway that’s about it! Thanks for bringing Theato to us, and I hope my suggestions helped!

-TR

[marianable-90sfeels]

TV shows that defined the ‘90s

“The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air”

“The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air” is a ‘90s sitcom about an African-American teenager (played by Will Smith) who is associated with street violence in West Philadelphia. His mother forces him to live with their wealthy relatives in Bel-Air, California to escape the dangerous neighborhood they live in. Will is taken in by his Uncle Phil and Aunt Vivian along with his three cousins, Ashley, Carlton, and Hilary. The family also has a personal butler named Geoffrey who considers himself very formal and professional. Will struggles adjusting to the middle-class life in a humorous way given that he comes from a working class family. However, he too struggles with  personal issues such as the absence of a father figure in his life to set a good example of how a man figure should act. 

This was a show that everybody could enjoy together as a family. After every episode, you can expect to either be rolling on the floor from laughter or tearing up from emotional scenes. Apart from the iconic ‘90s fashion worn by the characters, I always admired how family was a large subject matter in the show. Although it’s comedic show, it touches upon many social issues that people could relate to. Some social issues that are continuous throughout the seasons include race, sex, fatherhood, friendship, and middle-class people. In each episode, there is a conflict that the family overcomes together with the support of one another.

Also, come on, who doesn’t love Will Smith in his early days of acting? He played such a funny guy and overdramatic character, but my favorite character has to be Carlton. He is the person I can relate to most because he is so quirky and struggles to break away from needing approval from people. Carlton is the kind of person you could depend on to lift up your spirits whenever you are feeling at your lowest. Also, we can’t forget about the most iconic moments of the show whenever he would dance, “The Carlton.” I aspire to be that hyped about life everyday where I can just be myself while no one is watching.

“Full House”

Let’s take it back to the early years of the ‘90s while living in San Francisco, California. Everybody remembers the joy and laughter “Full House” brought us. Whether it was coming home from school and watching the show with your friends or even binge-watching it with family, this show guaranteed a smile on your face. Every character played a significant role in the show who encounter making difficult decisions even if it means sacrificing time together. This show accurately highlights the coming of age years for a toddler, adolescent, and teenager. 

“Full House” is a family sitcom about a talk-show host, Danny Tanner, who is struggling to raise his three daughters on his own after his wife passed away in a car accident. His daughters, D.J., Stephanie, and Michelle are also raised by their father’s two best friends, Joey and Jesse who agree to move in with them to support the family.  

Uncle Jesse (played by John Stamos) was a ‘90s heartthrob back in the day. There was never a girl who wasn’t obsessed with him as I am too. This show defined the ‘90s because it taught a lot of life lessons such as moving on with new stages in your life while taking on other responsibilities as an adult. The show lasted for 8 years and you feel as if you’re also growing up with characters. I could binge-watch “Full House” all day because I enjoy how every character reflects someone in my family. If you need a show to watch that will make you feel warm and reminiscent, “You got it dude” (in Michelle’s voice). It will show you how life keeps going and moves on even after hardships. As the theme song of the show says best, “everywhere you look, everywhere you go, there’s a heart.” That right there, demonstrates that you are never alone and sometimes family is all we have to lean on. 

[punk-aziraphale]

Here's a good distraction. Tell me what you love about The Witcher. I've been planning on watching the show and want to hear your thoughts on it.

💗💗okay full disclosure I haven’t seen the last two episodes because I am TERRIBLE at finishing series because I don’t like things ending. So this is all minus the last two episodes. (i’ve been spoiled for most things tho because that’s how I prefer things lol whoops)

I started watching because I saw gifs of Geralt and I was like “oh. oh no. he’s....so hot.” and then saw that he and Jaskier are easy to ship and was like “alright, thirst watching it is!” But it was actually so good!

But past literally everyone being hot and it being a bisexual smorgasbord (and I’m not even really bi but lbr Yennefer can get it) I really liked the story as well.

It’s a really great example of how a story can be set in a sexist world but not be sexist, itself. None of the women are one dimensional, even the more minor female characters have nuances about them which is really nice to see in today’s fantasy genre thats been WAY too influenced by Game of Thrones. (that said there are way more boobs than there needs to be and not nearly enough (or any) of Geralt’s “lovely bottom” and I’m hoping that season two will get the hint that if we’re gonna get THAT much nudity that we want equal opportunity).

Next, Geralt himself. He’s a big dumb man whose feelings are stunted and yet I still ADORE HIM. he’s really bad at expressing feelings (which is just a witcher problem I guess *cough*he’s autistic*cough*) but he still clearly HAS them. He loves his horse, he’d prefer not to kill things if he can avoid it, he immediately gets attached to Yennefer, and even though he insults Jaskier he clearly loves him too (platonically or romantically it doesn’t really matter, he still loves him). It helps that he’s GORGEOUS and looks amazing in his big sexy armor and that his very rare smile is like the sun peeking out from behind rain clouds. (Excuse me while I channel Jaskier for a minute and wax poetic about Geralt) I love him a lot. I hope he gets to work through some of his emotional shit in season 2.

And now we come to Jaskier. He’s everything I ever wanted in a bard character to project on. He’s sassy, he’s cute, his clothes are BOMB and he’s an amazing singer (Joey Batey is singing voice goals tbh). He’s wildly bisexual and flirts with pretty much everyone. It isn’t stated in canon but Joey Batey said that Jaskier falls in love with everyone he meets so we can infer that he’s at least playing Jaskier as a hopeless romantic bisexual whose got a crush on everyone, which would, of course, include Geralt. I haven’t read the books (yet) so this is only from excerpts I’ve seen on here but their relationship isn’t the same as in the books (which is even easier to ship them with) and their show relationship is a little strained because Show!Geralt is emotionally constipated but they clearly care very very deeply for each other and Jaskier isn’t afraid to show it which is exceedingly endearing (and also heartbreaking a little. No spoilers but u might be really sad and pissed at Geralt after episode 6). He’s an overdramatic theatre kid with a lute and notebook to write poetry in and he’s perfect and I’ll fight anyone who says anything mean about him.

I would very much suggest watching it, just go in knowing that it’s not like the books or game if you’ve read or played them and that there’s a lot of tits and monster guts gore. But everyone’s pretty and it makes some great points about the shitty parts of society and all the main characters are lovable in their own ways. Oh it also time jumps a lot but no one really ages lmao so it’s kinda confusing at first, but you get used to it.

Also Roach is the best horse and I would die for her.

(Thank you so much this really helped me a lot to think about The Witcher instead of my anxiety and while I wrote this I got two polite responses from teachers so it gave me a great way to spend some of the time waiting to hear back thinking about my current hyperfixation instead of potential disasters 💗💗💗)

[marie-lamb-b]

 You can’t really enjoy a date when you know someone’s waiting for you at home.

Alright. I had a spark of inspiration (I wrote this quite fast, in less than a day…), and… this came out. 

And although I can’t say I ship them as an OTP of mine, at this point actually I think I’m more like a multishipper with this fandom (everyone fits with almost everyone in certain ways…)

Also, I’d like to specially blame this to @adobe-outdesign​ and @insane-control-room​, why? No idea, I just see their post and works and mostly they sparked that spark that sparked on me (???)

*Tumblr version under the cut*

It was pass 1 in the morning, and the door creaked slowly, letting the lights of the hallway glow a bit in the rather dark apartment. You could say if someone has arrived home so late it was just because they had fun. Not like he cared really.

“So, how was your date?” Sammy asked from the sole lightened corner in the room, sitting next to the windowsill and bathed in moonlight coming from the window.

Wally seized any movements as he tried to process the idea of the man still awake at such late hours only to give him a little scare-. Why had he to be so dramatic?

“Eh– Y’know!” He started nervously. “Quite a dame, really pretty! He heh…”

He started to take off his jacket as he kept his stare fixed in the musician, warily. All the while the man didn’t give him more than a crooked brow and an unamused look, expecting more. But against anything expected, the humble janitor only stayed there, bouncing nervously in his toes and with arms straight down and tight against his own body, still looking at the musician with a wobbling smile.

“…”

“…”

“…And?” Sammy asked finally.

“Ah– ‘and’ what?” High pitched voice betraying his already crumbling stance.

“Where’s the catch?” He insisted.

“Catch? Psh… There’s no ‘catch’. I mean, what’s a ‘catch’, anyways? I don’ even know the meanin’ of that. Anyways, it doesn’t matter, I’m outta here, bed is callin’ mah name–”

“Wally–”

“IT WAS AWFUL!” He finally broke, plumping into the man’s chest and crying way too overdramatically, much for the musician’s likeness, whose response was a disgusted grimace and an awkward pat in his head. “I mean– I mean… She spent the night fidgetin’ with her nails, to later I find she was pushin’ back and cuttin’ her cuticles! And, and then… Her Hair! Gosh, if it weren’t her nails was her stupid hair! She spent the rest of the time trimmin’ it and brushin’ it with her fingers! And don’ make me start with her voice!”

It was obvious he wanted to be asked about her voice. “What had her voice?” Sammy asked monotonously.

“IT SOUNDED LIKE A SQUEAKIN’ TOY!” He wailed, absolutely not squeaking himself. “Oh, geez… and ya know what’s the worst part of it all?”

“No, but obviously you’re gonna tell me.” It didn’t matter if the janitor actually heard that.

“She actually liked the date. She liked me!” He whined out loud, clearly disgusted.

“…I don’t see the problem with that.”

Wally stopped his mourning– way too quickly– to shot a really stern glare to the man for once.

“…Ya kiddin’, right?” He stood up in a jolt, letting the moonlight show all his features clearly. “I mean, look at me!”

Sammy took his couple of seconds to look at the young man carefully from head to toes, not showing any sign different to his common unamused and apparently uninterested face.

“Yeah, I look at you.” He answered, too literal for the likeness of the janitor, and he was well aware.

“No! You–… I mean… C’mon, Sammy. Ya even know too well why I am just a janitor!”

“Because is a lousy job and no one would give you the time of the day even if their lives depend on it? And hopefully not, as you do such mediocre job that everyone complains” He ended murmuring.

“Exactly! Wait– except the part of the complains; no one can complain to such a cute face like mine.” Wally bragged.

“I complain all the time.” Sammy clarified, narrowing his eyes to his companion.

“Aw, but I know ya don’ mean it.” He tried to soothe playfully.

“I mean it. All the time.”

“But Sammy, If I get my job done by yer office so well and fast, we wouldn’t spend so much time together!” Wally approached his cheeky face to Sammy. And the musician, with a huff, rolled his eyes in attempts to fight a smirk creeping in his face and pushed Wally away– hopefully, he didn’t notice.

“Work time doesn’t count. I already told you.”

“Then what other time do we have, Sammy?” The way his playful demeanor changed so abruptly actually caught the man’s attention. “C’mon Sammy. It’s already too weird that a man like you took in a guy like me to their home!” He plumped once again, but this time taking seat next to the musician, slouched and allowing the moonlight to hide his features in the shadows as it only bathed his back. “We… we can’t go and have dates like… like normal people. We can’t hold hands as we walk along. Heck, we even can’t go to work on the same freakin’ hours! And now…!” He jerked a little, enough to allow the man next to him to see his somber face, all constricted in sheer frustration. “Now I have to go and date ladies that I certainly don’ like, and all to avoid any rumors that could surge with all of this!”

Sammy saw him, and honestly he hated to see him so frustrated and emotionally exhausted. He’s supposed to be the happy-go-lucky between them and Sammy was the moody grouchy one; he wasn’t good at cheering up like the janitor was! But he had to try… at least for him…

“Well, it seems like you’re doing a really good job in it. I haven’t heard anything weird about me at least. Susie would’ve told me already.” …Gosh, he was so bad at this…

“Really, Susie?” Wally responded deadpanned. “I am the first one that gets to know whatever rumor runs around the studio. And if Susie haven’t told ya anythin’, it was because she was the one askin’ me for somethin’ curious or dirty about you now that I live at yer place.” Sammy wasn’t a man too expressive far from moody and angry, but Wally always had his ways to notice the man’s real impressions; just a little jerk or a twitch from his face was enough for him to read his emotions like a book. “Yeah, that’s what I thought. And that’s why I’m doin’ this. So those gossipmongers stop their chatterin’.”

“…I didn’t know you were so worried about what others think of you.” Maybe his tone was as plain as usual, but for Wally was too clear the hurt hidden in his words.

“Me?! Oh, for God’s sake. I don’ give a penny what them think of me. Sammy, I’m worried about you.”

Again, a little twitch that Wally easily recognized, even if his words tried to not reflect it.

“M– maybe you should calm down a little, as you normally do. I don’t really care.”

“For real, Sammy?” The musician just shrugged, but the janitor gave an honest huff of pure exasperation. “Then what do ya think woulda happen if them rumors keep going?” Another shrug. Another stern glare. “What if them gossipmongers go to Joey? What’ll happen with yer career?” A flick of his eyes; doubt. “Look, I don’ care what them think’a me. They could fire me, I don’ mind. There’s tons of reasons to fire me! But you…” He straightened his stance, fully watching the man next to him with creased brows and lovely compassionated eyes.

“Sammy, I really don’ care ‘bout me. I could be on the streets, spittin’ on some shoes to give ‘em some shine for a penny. Heck, I didn’ even finish school! I got nothin’ to loose! But unlike me, Sammy… ya had to climb with claws and teeth to get were ya are. How many can say that ‘bout their life? ‘Bout their dreams?”

“More than I’d care to count, actually.”

Wally released a giggle as he stretched his hand, reaching for Sammy’s and lacing their fingers, letting the man to rub his hand with his thumb.

“Well, I’m not on that count, for sure. But even though, I don’ wanna see ya loosin’ all ya have worked for just by mah fault.”

“Wally, it’d never be your fault. Don’t say that–!”

“It’ll be if them find out!” He cut off his companion, although a wave of shame quickly invaded him and made him to release his hand. “Just… Look, I’ll keep with this datin’ thing, and then none’ll suspect anymore. With one of us datin’ dames, then no one’ll be talkin’ ‘bout… us… and ya’ll have no worries if them go with Joey or Susie or any other.”

As he concluded his sentence, he swiftly made his way up and out of the spot next to the music man, or at least tried. As soon as simply stood up, a tender hand stopped his withdrawal, enlacing its fingers with his owns. He gave a glance, only to notice the reduced demeanor his partner held, not even daring to rise his stare.

“…Sammy, I, ah–…”

“When you said out loud that you finally got a date with this ‘swell dame from the coffee shop’– as you described…” He sighed. “Not gonna lie, I thought you got bored of me of something; that you wanted try something… ‘new’. It… honestly made me upset…” He released in a whisper. And Wally slowly returned to sit on his spot next to him. “Worst part was when you came and asked me some advice on what to wear and what could you get for her in the middle of the break room…” he trailed off, but he didn’t need to say anything else. He was already a quite reserved man, and being so open, even with Wally, made him feel vulnerable; and Wally felt overwhelmed.

Shame, regret, hurt, sadness; a bunch of emotions started to pile upon the janitor’s chest. And feeling the menacing sting of tears in the corner of his eyes, he freed his hand from the musician’s, only to quickly change to a tight hug, using his hands now to rub by his hair and back in a soothing manner.

“Am… am sorry, Sammy. I just… saw how all those rumors started to run and I had to think fast. I thought of tellin’ ya, but also thought that they’d suspect even more and that it woulda help ya to keep yer moody grouchy façade. But y’know, in the end I’m not the most smarterest.” He finished with an attempt of a laugh, but felt hollow with all those tears rolling down his face.

“Heh, and you can properly use the word ‘façade’?” He smirked a bit, although genuinely. “You are the most smarterest.” And that reassuring made the janitor authentically giggle a bit.

“Ha! I made ya say–”

“DON’T.” He growled, more in character. And Wally shut his mouth.

They stayed there for a while; tears long since dried and any remorse steadily fading. And as Wally kept caressing his hair, Sammy started to sink into the janitor’s essence, burying his face on his neck, and so starting to stamp tender kisses from his shoulders and crawling up to his face. Ticklish as he was, Wally recoiled a tad when he climbed upon his neck. And as closer he got to his face, the Janitor slowly turned his towards the musician, until both their lips met and pressed against each other’s. Still bathed in the moonlight as their only witness.

“I’m sorry, Wally.” Sammy said once they parted, sight staring down. “Even if you’re a real pain in the studio and just… a moron– most of the time, I should’ve trusted you, and not jump into conclusions without even asking you what’s the matter.”

“Heh. And apology from you, who woulda told!” He cheered, regaining his playful demeanor little by little. “Maybe that mean I didn’ screwed all this time fer once.”

“Don’t push your luck.” He retorted, and obtaining that goofy innocence-pleading smile so proper of the young janitor. Gosh, what a lovely goof. “Better we head up to bed. It’s already past 2 and we gotta go to work in the morning. You before me.” He motioned to stand up, offering his hand to Wally so he could stand up too, and keeping it held as they moved towards their room.

“Yer right. But I guess I should warn ya: is quite probably that I’ll lose mah keys by yer office durin’ the day.”

“Please don’t do it. I have to finish like 15 songs for Drew.”

“But what if is an accident?”

“I’ll leave them hanging from the knob. Outside.”

“Aw… And what if we meet by Norman’s both later?”

“Don’t involve Norman. He already has a lot in his plate.”

“But, Sammy, I need my dose of annoyed grunts comin’ from ya at work. Even more since that date!” Wally whined, but sleep-deprived Sammy didn’t allow much.

“Boohoo.”

“But–”

“I said boohoo.”

“Aw, yer not fun.”

“Fun, eh? Then why not enjoy another sweet date with this ‘swell dame’?” Sarcasm dripped each word, but something in his eyes glinted with malice. “Actually, why don’t you ask her if she has a friend that would want to date me?”

“…Yer smiling. Why are ya smiling? Is these a kind of vengeance?” As the man’s smile widened a notorious tad, Wally felt safer listening to his instincts.

“Eh, we’ll see. It’ll all depend on if things work.”

They reached their bed, ready to sleep and leave any trace of suspiciousness aside– except for the ones Wally himself has started to build. Gosh, this man could be dangerous if he wanted; a ‘hopeless romantic’ for the ones outside his personal life; but a romantic nonetheless, as Wally knew far too well.

Oh, boy. What did he get himself into?

[kinda-lit-writing]

little joey

Word Count: 832

Warning: lol just light cussing, and me not editing it.

Character: Dad!Chan x Reader

part 2

     The waves crashed on the rocks with the sun rising as the background. I could feel the sun on my skin and the sand in my toes. Most importantly, I could feel my love’s hand in mine.

    “Chan this is beautiful.” Y/N said as she looked at the ocean.

    “Not as beautiful as you.” I replied cheesily.

    “After all these years of being together, you are still the same cheesy man I met at the arcade.” Y/N giggled looking back at the memory.

    “Remember when we were playing the hoops game, and you managed to hit yourself with the basketball?” That was honestly the best memory that I had of them, they just laughed at it and wanted to play again.

    “I told you not to speak of that moment again, Chris! Even though your ass asked if you needed to kick the basketball’s ass.” they whined calmly while lightly kicking sand at me.

    I overdramatically gasped while putting a hand over my chest, “Did my spouse, the person I trust the most, kick sand at me??”, I let go of their hand, “You better run, darling. Unless, you want to get tickled.”

    With that they took off, not wanting to face my “wrath”. I let them have a five second head start before I chased them. I ran and caught up to them in no time, and bear hugged them and picked them up. They squealed as I span them around. I stopped spinning and just hugged them, this felt so right. Them in my arms as we watched the sun come up. I put my face into the crook of their neck, and I finally felt relaxed. This was home, anytime I was with them, I was home.

    “Babe?” I heard lightly. I hummed in response.

    “Where is our lil joey??” They said with concern laced in there voice.

    “We left her with my parents, remember?? It was still early, so we left them with my parents.”

    “Chan? Are you sure??” Y/N asked confusingly.

    “Yeah,” I said lifting my head to look at them, “I remember it really well.”

    “Then, why can I hear her crying?” She said turning to me.

    “What?” That’s when I heard faint crying, “What the-”

    I groaned lightly, and the crying became louder. It was a dream, we were leaving for Australia tomorrow. I sighed, and started getting up. Suddenly, I heard shuffling beside me. Y/N woke up.

    I shushed them back to sleep, “I got this babe, go back to sleep.”

    I heard a very incoherent ‘okay’ sound, and I chuckled and got out of bed. I stretched and sluggishly walked into the nursery. I opened the door, and the cries got a little louder.

    “What’s wrong joey?” I said lightly and I picked her up from her yellow bassinet.

    I did everything, but nothing worked. I changed her diaper, gave her a bottle, and tried making her into a burrito. Nothing.

“What’s wrong joey? You want me to sing?” that’s when her cries got a little less loud. Wow, she is like Y/N, anytime Y/N ever had trouble they wanted cuddles and me to sing. Especially, before I went on tour or after exams.

    “Ahhh okay.” I sat down on the rocking chair that Changbin’s mom got us. That lady treated all of us like her own, and no matter what she gave us advice on anything. She was a saint.

    I started to rock lightly and started to sing a lullaby.

    “Honey is for bees silly bear

Besides, there's jelly beans everywhere

It's not what it seems in the land of dreams

Don't worry your head just go to sleep

It doesn't matter how you feel

Life is just a Ferris wheel

It's always up and down

Don't make a sound

When you wake up the world will come around

When you wake up the world will come around

It's just the sweet weather and the peacock feathers

In the morning, it will all be better

It's not what it seems in the land of dreams

Don't worry your head just go to sleep

When you wake up the world will come around

When you wake up the world will come around

Honey is for bees, silly bear

Besides there's jelly beans everywhere

It's not what it seems in the land of dreams

Don't worry your head just go to sleep”

And with that she was out like a light, I silently mouthed a “thank you” to the sky. I got up very carefully, and placed Calliope back into her bassinet. I exited the room as quietly as I could.

I tiptoed back into Y/N and I’s shared bedroom, and got back into the warm bed. I tucked myself in as quietly as possible, and looked at the time. 5:45am  Two more hours till we are supposed to go to the airport. Thirteen more hours till I can make that dream a reality.

Authors Note: The song is “Lullabye” by Fall Out Boy. Do you guys want me to continue this and make it a series?? Because there is a reason why she is named Calliope and why he sang this song too. If y’all want me to continue, just drop an ask!! I can also make one on their first meeting because I got ideas.

[queenofcats17]

Joey Drew’s D&D Club

Here’s the story for @magicalmonsterhero‘s prompt.

Character List

Joey leaned over the board, a sinister smile on his face. 

“Is everyone ready...” Joey paused, looking around the table. “For Bendy And The Ink Machine?” He pitched his voice lower so that it sounded more menacing. The assembled members of the club looked between one another. Sammy, Henry, Susie, Wally, and Joey all sat crowded around the table, the board spread out before them. In the corner, Grant was compiling a spreadsheet on Thomas’ lap and Shawn was working on some crochet. 

“Come on.” Joey leaned back in his seat. “You all could at least act excited. I’ve been working on this for years!”

“We are excited,” Sammy said. “You’re just being weird and overdramatic.” 

“It’s what he does.” Henry shrugged and patted Joey’s shoulder. Joey made a small disgruntled noise. 

“Alright, let’s do this.” He said, clearing his throat. “The stage...Joey Drew Studios!”

“Remind me why you’re the boss again?” Wally asked. 

“He’s the only one who could believably fuck things up this badly.” Shawn didn’t even look up from his crochet. 

“We needed a scapegoat and I figured I was the best one.” Joey smiled calmly. “You would all believably curse my name, wouldn’t you?”

“If all this shit happened? Definitely.” Susie nodded. “But you know we love you, right?”

“You’re irritating as shit, but you are our friend.” Sammy agreed.

“I think that’s about the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me,” Joey said brightly. “Just for that, I’m going to keep you alive!”

“Wait, you were going to kill me off?!”

“Eeeh. I was thinking of it.”

“Joey!” 

“Anyway, back to the campaign.” Joey moved on. “Henry has returned to the studio after 30 years, and the rest of you have turned into inky abominations because of me.”

“Makes sense.” Everyone chorused. Henry was the only one who’d ever actually come back when faced with a letter from Joey.

“So, you enter the studio.” Joey hunkered over the table, trying to set the mood. “There’s ink everywhere and the lights aren’t working. It’s dark and smells musty. What do you do?” 

“I investigate the studio.”

“Roll for investigation.” 

Henry shook the dice in his hands then rolled them. 

“2.” He sighed. 

“You find your desk,” Joey said. “There are a lot of cobwebs around it.” Most of the first hour of the campaign was dedicated to Henry exploring the first floor of the studio. Joey gave him a fetch quest, which bored everyone at the table who wasn’t Henry. It was when Henry fell through the floor near the front door and descended deeper into the bowels of the studio that everyone got interested again. 

“Alright, Sammy, this is your level.” Joey waved to Sammy. “We’ll run Henry’s path parallel to yours.”

“I take my axe and chop down the boards blocking the entrance to the music department,” Henry said. 

“Roll strength.”

“12.”

“You manage to remove a good portion of the boards in your way.” Joey smiled mischievously. “Do you dare enter the domain of the Prophet?”

“Yes.”

Henry went on another series of fetch quests while Sammy watched him and planned his sacrifice to his lord. Sammy failed a few stealth quests that caused a Searcher to spawn and attack Henry, which Henry mostly dealt with unscathed. Then they got to the very end of the music department arc. 

“Alright, Henry’s exiting your office,” Joey said, ready to move on to the next part of the campaign. “What do you do?”

“I hit him over the head with a wrench.” 

“Roll strength.”

Sammy muttered to himself as he did so, praying for a favourable roll. 

“...6.”

“Well, he goes down,” Joey said. “You have to hit him again if you want him to stay down for awhile.”

“Am I going to get concussed from this?” Henry asked. “Because I feel like I’m going to get concussed.”

“You do this every time.” Wally groaned. 

“Sometimes he adds in health systems!” Henry protested as Sammy rolled the dice and managed to knock his character out. 

“Alright, Henry’s down. What do you do with him?” Joey asked. 

“I pick him up and take him to my ritual circle, where I tie him up,” Sammy said, perhaps a bit more smugly than he should have. 

“So, Henry wakes up tied to a pole and you’re in front of him.” Joey turned to Henry. “What do you do?”

“Alright, I say, ‘What the fuck? Sammy?’”

“Do I recognize him?” Sammy asked, looking over at Joey.

“You do not.” 

Sammy nodded. “I say, ‘Silence, sheep! The time of sacrifice is at hand! I must have him notice me!’”

“Very ominous.” Susie didn’t look up from filing her nails. Wally was asleep on the table. Sammy glowered and kicked him under the table. 

“Wha-?! I’m up!” Wally looked around wildly. “What’d I miss?”

“Sammy’s being a weird cultist,” Joey said brightly.

“Okay, fine, since this is boring everyone, I go into my recording booth and start broadcasting,” Sammy said. “Sheep sheep sheep, it’s time for sleep. Rest your head, it’s time for bed. In the morning you may wake, or in the morning you’ll be dead. Hear me, Bendy! Arise and claim this tender sheep! Free me! I beg of you!”

“Bendy appears to you.” Joey put on a proper menacing tone. “Roll to see if he accepts your offering.”

Sammy rolled, swearing as he saw the number on the die. 

“1.”

“Critical failure! Bendy ignores your offering and attacks you instead! Roll to see if you survive!” 

“Ugh, fine,” Sammy grumbled, grabbing the dice again. He shook them and threw them onto the table. As soon as he saw the result he stood up and whooped. 

“Yes! Take that, Joey!” He said. “I survived! Nat 20!”

“Oookay.” Joey nodded slowly. “Didn’t think you’d survive that. Alright, Bendy hoists you up by your neck and growls,” Joey cleared his throat and put on a gravelly voice. “This sacrifice is not for you. He is mine to end.”

“Alright. I tell him, I meant no offence, my Lord.” Sammy said. “I only wished to please you!”

“Meanwhile, I run like hell,” Henry muttered, rolling his dice. “Fuck. I got a 7.” Joey cackled and rubbed his hands together. 

“Bendy drops Sammy and goes after you.” He grinned at Henry. “Roll to escape!”

“Hey, when do I get to come in?” Wally asked. “I’ve been sitting here this whole time.”

“If Henry survives, you’ll come in soon,” Joey assured him, waving a hand dismissively. “Now roll those dice, Henry!” Henry sighed and rolled his dice. 

“Oh, good.” He relaxed when he saw the result. “18.”

“You successfully escape Bendy, running deeper into the studio,” Joey said. “As you catch your breath, a can of bacon soup rolls out. And...” He did a drum roll on the table. “Boris the Wolf walks out!”

“WHAT’S UP?!” Wally got up, fist pumping. 

“Also, you don’t get to talk.” Joey added. 

“Wait, why not?” Wally asked. “Everyone else gets to talk.”

“It’s part of your tragic backstory.”

“This is bullshit!”

“The buses are coming, you should wrap this up.” Grant said from where he sat. 

“Well, we’ll continue next time.” Joey began packing everything up. “I think that was a very productive first session. I have so much planned for you, Susie, rest assured.”

“I better get to be a good villain.” She said as she got her backpack.

“Oh, you do. Trust me, you do.”

[spam-monster]

Rewatching Dark Side of Dimensions

- What the hell do Kaiba' s scientists actually think of him spending all this time digitally rendering a guy that looks kind of like Yugi Moto whom he calls "the Pharoah" to duel with and digging up ancient tombs? Are there rumors going around Kaibacorp about Yugi Moto's weird Egyptian cousin that their boss had a bad breakup with or something?

- Kaiba don't even bother waiting for his jet to land before he jumps out of it. Show off.

- "Little" Yugi Moto? He's the same age as you you obnoxious prick. I mean yeah he's also hella short but still.

- Diva is a diva.

- Kaiba got so pissed off about all the magic shit happening to him all the time he came up with tech specifically to counter it.

- Kaiba is also done being shocked or impressed by your magic bs he is just super done with all of you. "Oh look, he can dissolve my guards and summon demon children and vortexs, whatever just duel me bitch. Oh I have to summon things with my soul? Neat."

- Kaine wants to see Atem again so bad he pulls a freaking God card out of the ground with sheer willpower.

- I freaking love the Kaiba brothers, Mokuba just rides the damn case with the puzzle in it up to the copter and Seto just yells "To be continued!" And ditches his duel to run off.

- Awww, Yugi gets to speak at their graduation. I have no idea how he got that...probably because he's famous.

- How the f does that space station thing even work.

- The AI exposited on how the puzzle reassembly machine works just because it figured out Kaiba likes being reminded of how smart he is.

- So is Shadi definitely supposed to be the same guy that shows up later at Pegasus'?

- For all his high horsing Diva didn't really have a good reason to hurt Joey. Guy was just trying to protect his friend, how is that evil?

- You're wrong Diva, friendship is the greatest force in the universe!

- You're one to talk about having glowey eyed goons Kaiba.

- I freaking love how Kaiba just shows up in the middle of a rainy street and holds up traffic to demand that Yugi duel him, tempts him with seeing Atem again, and then Mokuba rides in on a helicopter and is super casual like "Hey Yugi what's up!"

- And then Sera shows up to give him the box and save him from oncoming traffic and poor Yugi's probably left thinking " Why do all my not friends have to be so overdramatic?"

- Look at Mokuba being all tiny and smug.

- Kaiba may be a smug anti social asshole but boy knows how to work an audience.

- Kaiba this crowd doesn't know or care what the Millennium Puzzle is or why you want it.

- Also look at these kids fighting over who duels first. And when Yugi stands up to Kaiba, he actually backs off and let's him go first.

- Dimension summoning involves going super saiyan apparently.

- Also why they always call attack names like it's a Pokemon battle? Those ain't written on the cards, are y'all just making them up as you go? Does everyone make up their own attack names for them or are there accepted standards?

- Yugi freaking defeated Atem, stop underestimating him.

- " You talk about a world without hate, but from what I've seen that's all that fuels you." YOU TELL HIM YUGI BOY

- Also another sister trying to save her bro from doing stupid things out of misplaced vengeance.

- Yugi's so nice trying to talk down his opponents first. Before he kicks their ass.

- Look at these sassy dorks having way too much fun over-dramatcally playing card games while making terrible puns sound cool.

- " YOU FIGHT ME WITH FRUIT! DON'T MOCK ME!" is an actual thing Kaiba has said.

- Okay I said this last time but THE FREAKING EMOTION IN KAIBAS VOICE WHEN YUGI WILLINGLY TAKES THE PUZZLE AND HE THINKS HE'S GOING TO SUMMON ATEM FOR HIM I CAN'T HE'S SO UNUSED TO PEOPLE WILLINGLY DOING NICE THINGS FOR HIM WITHOUT HIM HAVING TO FIGHT FOR IT

- Also Yugi getting that under all the anger and "I will defeat him!" Kaiba is missing Atem as much as he is even if he'd never admit it.

- *Giant terrifying monster that used to be human appears* Kaiba: "Oof. He's looked better." Boy dgaf.

- They don't even gotta acknowledge the team up Kaiba is just like, well I'm gonna fight it and Yugi gets it right away. A far cry from Battle City where Atem had to spend half the duel convincing Kaiba to cooperate with him.

- Bitch you think they ain't dealt with deadly card games before

- Kaiba warns Yugi to be careful aww see he's not as allergic to friendship as he thinks

- I need to make a post with all Kaiba's one liners

- (Dad was home at this point and objected to me pausing to type commentary because "I want to see what happens when crimson nova attacks him again!" Shut up dad. )

- Kaiba's not even pretending to hide that he's concerned for Yugi now AWWWWW SEE BBY YOU CAN FRIENDSHIP

- AND KAIBA SACRIFICES HIMSELF TO PROTECT YUGI AND OUTRIGHT SAYS HE DID IT FOR ATEM BECAUSE AFTER ALL THAT THAT'S HOW MUCH FAITH HE HAS IN THE BOTH OF THEM

- "Bring him back, Yugi." ARE HIS LAST WORDS FFS

- (all of the homo!)

- Atem don't even gotta say anything he just shows up and kicks the guy's ass in one turn.

- I can't even say anything about Atem and Yugi just ugh feels

- And Kaiba's all smug like "I said he'd be back, told ya so." But like, in a friendly smug way.

- "You have your bond with him, and I have mine. Take care Yugi. Till our paths cross once again." Now imma go literally invade the afterlife to challenge a guy to a card game.

- And Yugi thanks him AWWWWWWW

- And the ending with Kaiba and Atem smile-smirking at each other I love these freaking idiots so much I can't even (just kiss already)

[jflashandclash]

Attrition of Peace

Forty-One: Ajax

We Could Have had a Slide, or a Fire Pole

             Had Pax not genuinely been terrified that Hera would turn Alabaster into a Christmas ornament if she got her hands on the child of magic, Pax would have thought hiding against the wall with him was kinda hot.

           But the way Alabaster gritted his teeth and trembled with anger at the Queen of the Gods’ presence was a bit of a deterrent. Will’s alarmed shouts at Euna made things more difficult. When Pax peeked his head in the doorway and saw Joey had been turned into a statue, the chances of a boner went from unlikely to nonexistent.

           Pax’s head was on too much of a delay to fully process what had happened. First, Hera was calling his mother, and Alabaster’s wonderful mother, whores—falsehoods, though Pax couldn’t speak for Will and Jack’s dad—and then Hera made one of his dead friends into the best staring contest partner ever.

           Normally, Pax thought shouting, “no!” for a prolonged period of time was overdramatic, but this situation might warrant the dramatics.

           Especially when Euna stepped out of Cabin Two. Her eyes looked blank.  She held Backbiter in one clenched fist and the rosewood box in the other.

           Pax hadn’t realized he was crying again until he saw the emptiness on her face.

           Alabaster said something to her, but Pax couldn’t make out his words.

           Euna wasn’t really the hugging type from what he gathered. And Pax knew Euna had trouble looking at him because his features reminded her of Santiago Pax, his father—she often scowled when he brushed his hair out of his eyes. Last time though, he’d at least been able to talk to her about her sister’s death when he’d morphed into someone else. Everyone else had been stupid, saying “sorry,” but he knew “sorry” didn’t do anything for someone who was gone.

           But her sister’s death had made sense last time: a heroine standing up to an unjust tyrant. This… this was…

           Pax choked when he tried to stop his sobs.

           Then he felt something latch around his wrists.

           “Cho!” he cried. He glanced down to find splinter-ridden tree roots twisting around his skin. For a split, nauseating second, he could perfectly envision the shackles in his father’s temple.

           This is the opener of passages, Backbiter hissed.

           Euna’s put the rose-colored box in her pocket and reached forward to grab Jack by his crimson locks and wrench him from Pax’s belt.        

           “Hey!” Jack cried.

           “Euna!” Alabaster snarled. He’d summoned his imperial gold gladius from a card. “We’re not your—” Vines snapped up from the ground, snagging around his arms.

           Euna wasn’t looking at either of them though. She held up Jack’s dripping head, like the christening of Simba in The Lion King.

           “You said Gaea resurrected you because your voice can make the ground and air wither,” she said. “Can you make me a passageway to Tartarus?”

           “Wow—you can’t just wrestle a man away from his friend’s belt and—”

           Euna’s gaze narrowed. “Do it or I’ll cut out your tongue.”

           “Oh—um—I think I can—” Jack’s tone had altered from offended to nervous. “If Orpheus can crack open the world to what lies beneath, then so can I.”

           “Then sing,” Euna’s voice quivered.

           The tree root around Pax’s left arm went slack. Numbly, he glanced down to see Alabaster had sliced through his own bindings and was working on Pax’s. “Euna—wait—what are you doing?!” Alabaster demanded, slicing through the roots around Pax’s right arm. “That might kill—”

           Jack cleared his throat—what was left of his throat—and sang. Hearing Jack’s horrible retching notes made Pax grind his teeth. This was different than last time: it felt like Jack’s voice was amplified to the point of making accidental war with any aliens unfortunate enough to be flying by Earth. Hades, Pax was pretty sure a deaf person would try to strangle Jack right now and be disappointed there wasn’t enough neck left to strangle.

           “Ain’t no mountain high enough,

           Ain’t no valley low enough,

           Ain’t no river wiiiiide enough,

           To keep me from getting to you!”

           The ground whined under their feet, like it was begging Jack to shut up. Pax sympathized—as much as he loved Jack, cutting his tongue out was starting to sound like a swell idea.

           “My love is alive,

           Way down in my heart,

           Although we are miles apart.”

           A throbbing erupted in Pax’s head. Beside him, Alabaster crumbled down to one knee. He’d dropped his sword and held his hands over his ears.

           Weakness spread though Pax’s limbs. Without realizing it, he’d also put his hands over his ears, but the barrier did nothing. It was like wearing his anti-charm speaking headphones to cancel out a rocket blast or a scolding from Chiich.

           Although she kept on her feet, with Backbiter in one hand and Jack in the other, Pax could see Euna starting to tremble. As though to alleviate the pressure against her eardrums, her mouth moved to scream, but the sound was swallowed by Jack’s wretched screech.

           “If you ever need a helping hand,

           I’ll be there on the double,

           Just as fast as I can.

           Don’t you know that there ain’t no mountain—”

           The earth beside them released a thundering crack. Pax was pretty sure that was the sound of ground spirits trying to destroy themselves—maybe that’s why earthquakes happened.

           The front half of Hera’s Cabin crumbled.

           Pieces of marble splattered everywhere, so they could perfectly see the extinguished fire and statue of Joey smiling and Hera scowling in the back of the cabin.

           In the rubble of the entrance, the ground snapped and crinkled. As the dust settled, they could see neat little tiers descending down into the blackness of the earth. The front of Hera’s cabin was now a set of stairs to nothing.

           Jack stopped singing.

           Despite the silence, Pax could still feel his ears ringing. “Dude!” he complained.

           Jack was panting. “Voilà!” he said. “Now, I’m not privy to the idea of returning to Tartarus, so if you could redeposit me with the tiny Pax—”

           Euna blossomed a beautiful, white flower in her hands and shoved it into Jack’s mouth. Then, she tied his hair around her belt loop.

           Pax managed to get his feet working. He stumbled forward, careful not to tumble down that narrow passage.  “Euna—I know it feels like we’ve hit rock bottom and we don’t want to take Joey for granite, but—but Hemera’s drops might still be messing with your head, and I know Backbiter sounds like the name of a nice, caring sword, but he’s not—”

           Euna glanced his way.

           Pax felt his rambles cut off at the icy rage in her black eyes.

           “I want to do this,” she said, lifting the rosewood box from her pocket, the thing that could carry the essence of a god or an abstract thought. “Even the gods fear nothingness. I’m going to bring evisceration to them.”

           And, with those words, the daughter of Demeter descended into nothingness, carrying Persephone’s box, Kronos’ scythe, and the head of Orpheus Metal.  

           But Pax wasn’t going to let another one of his friends disappear. Biting back his manly tears, he sprinted after her.

[theseventhhex]

Downtown Boys Interview

Downtown Boys

Photo by Farrah Skeiky

Downtown Boys use their ferocious energy and powerhouse live shows to unite crowds in the struggle to smash racism, queer-phobia, capitalism, fascism, boredom, and all things people use to try to close our minds, eyes and hearts. The Providence, RI band’s third album, ‘Cost of Living’, is at once incendiary, cathartic, and fun, melding the band’s revolutionary ideals with boundless energy. The position of Downtown Boys has been clear since they started storming through basements and DIY spaces with their radically-minded, indefatigable rock music: they are here to topple the white-cis-het hegemony and draft a new history… We talk to Joey L DeFrancesco about recording in anxious times, Solange and men’s room mirrors…

TSH: Talk us through your intentions in wanting to discover a different type of space with the latest album ’Cost of Living’...

Joey: Well, at heart, the album is definitely a rock and punk record. We didn’t want to be too overdramatic musically, but we definitely wanted to expand our palette overall. It gets boring sticking with the same sort of sounds, so artistically we were just looking to add new colours. We just wanted more mid-tempo songs and kind of realised that we didn’t have to play everything at a million miles per-hour.

TSH: This was achieved via using keyboards and guitars to replace the saxophone in carrying the melodies, unlike your previous album...

Joey: Yeah, it was intentional in making it so the melodies in our music could be carried by different instruments like the keyboard and guitar. I think I just wanted the instrumentation to be more accessible for myself too. I kind of got sick of the saxophone carrying each melody, besides applying the keyboard and guitar allows for a different listening experience. I feel using both instruments can help listeners to pay attention for longer too, instead of having a blaring horn so high in the mix like the last record.

TSH: The album was recorded during a very tense time in the US. What was the dynamic like in the studio?

Joey: Well, we wrote the record before Trump was elected. Most of it was written in 2015, but even then there was a lot happening politically. When it came to recording the songs there was certainly a high level of anxiety, because by then Trump had been inaugurated. There were protests happening at airports regarding the Muslim ban and we were locked in the studio. As you can imagine, everything felt anxious because there were quite a few other notable issues coming to the surface from a political standpoint too. The studio dynamic was mostly tense and anxious. It was difficult to focus knowing that so much fear and anxiety was manifesting. Everything felt so debilitating.

TSH: Would you agree that the lyrics are more nuanced alongside a wider spectrum of emotions?

Joey: Yeah, absolutely. I write most of the music and Victoria will do most of the lyrics - but in the end we’ll go back and forth with it all. But yeah, we certainly had more thoughtful and stern lyrical content to consider. I guess being alive right now and dealing with the current global situation there are a lot of nuances to do with survival on a day-to-day basis and trying to keep up. It was inevitable that these factors would make their way into our lyrical content.

TSH: Tell us more about getting ‘A Wall’ to sound just right...

Joey: That song took a while to finish and went through a few versions before we settled on what’s on the record. I initially had the verses and intro to it, but the chorus wasn’t quite there. We kept bringing it to practise for weeks and trying new choruses, until we settled on the simplest one of them all. It was just too overblown at first so we settled on the simple two chords on the chorus, which was most effective.

TSH: Does ‘Violent Complicity’ take you back to specific memories in time?

Joey: Yeah, it’s very much a track that reminds me of a certain time and a bunch of different emotions. I also really like how we can perform that song live in a bunch of different ways and with different structures. It’s actually one of oldest songs on the record and the most worked on. I guess it encompasses feelings and ideas spanning a long time, since it took about a year to put it together.

TSH: When you perform live, you get to release a lot of tension and bond with the audience. Is being onstage your happy place?

Joey: I think performing is definitely our favourite part about being a band. We love playing live and connecting with people. Our first goal as a band was to have 20 minutes of songs so we could play live! Even now, this type of attitude still defines us in many ways. To play live and have fans in various countries appreciate the music is very rewarding for us.

TSH: You had a show recently cancelled in Ireland because of a hurricane...

Joey: Yeah, I totally didn’t expect that. However, we actually did get to explore more than we normally do because of the cancellation. We had a day off and just wandered around which was nice in a sense, but it was unfortunate that we didn’t get to play there.

TSH: With Downtown Boys you get to confront so many realities head on and the overriding assumption is that you can improve your way of life, as well as bring to light issues that need to be tackled...

Joey: Yeah, I think that’s kind of where the band is coming from right now. We’re not just angry and pissed off and believing that change is hard to achieve. We definitely feel we can use our platform to bring light to issues that require attention. We don’t want to fall into nihilism and hopelessness and not even be motivated to make music, even though it gets hard. When we're able to do it, it’s all coming out of a belief that we can have some sort of positive impact, however small it may be. It’s all you can do with whatever job you’re doing - believe that you can somehow make changes for the better - that’s what propels us.

TSH: I understand recently your wallet got stolen, however, on the same day Solange came to one of your shows - so it kind of balanced out for you. Was this a bittersweet day for you?

Joey: Haha! You’re getting deep now! Yeah, I guess it was. I never saw her at the show personally because we were onstage, but everyone at the back was saying that Solange indeed came to our show in New Orleans. It was a pretty surreal day. So my wallet got stolen, which is not a fun thing to happen on tour. I was constantly on the phone to the bank trying to get my debit card mailed to different addresses too. It was just a nightmare to not have an ID on tour, but I made it through in the end.

TSH: Also, it really bothers you that 60% of the time venues with men’s rooms don’t have mirrors in them, this is something you want fixed…

Joey: Ha! Yeah, so I do drag performing as another side project and I always like to get ready and look the part. Very often I end up playing these punk bars and I’m trying to do makeup to present myself in the right way, but the men’s rooms have no space, let alone any mirrors. I end up using my phone or the female restroom to get a mirror. They really should have them available since it’s a pretty easy thing to do. To me, the implication in not having mirrors says it’s not for men to do themselves up, so I hope this changes in the near future.

TSH: What brings about most happiness when you guys are on tour?

Joey: I really feel happy when someone goes out of their way to see us and has some sort of connection with our music - that makes me feel really humbled. Also, it can be stressful to tour so we do stupid stuff and come up with silly games and in-jokes to keep ourselves entertained. Humour always helps.

TSH: As a band, not a single value has been compromised - is this the type of stance that you want to maintain and hold on to?

Joey: I guess so. Also, I think we just want to reach more people, as well as wanting a small compensation for doing this full time. I think artists should be compensated accordingly - it’s only fair. And yes, you’re right; we don’t feel like we need to compromise, since we know what we need to do as workers right now. We’re lucky that we can say what we want to and that we are not commanded to express and present ourselves in certain ways. We’ve remained true to our original vision and we’ve taken every opportunity we’ve had and tried to maximise it in terms of the message that we can put out there.

Downtown Boys - “Somos Chulas (No Somos Pendejas)”

Cost of Living