#also its the presumption that having these reactions means youre putting that on the other person to manipulating them in silence

[onlyfangz]

sometimes it's really hard not to be bitter at Mental Health (Social Media) "Experts" stating the fucking obvious. "it's unhealthy to have strong emotional reactions to someone setting boundaries" ohhhh is it? wow....... youve really cracked the fucking code on human psyche there. should we throw a party? should we invite maszlow?

[destinyimage]

Fire Baptism Greater than Azusa: Igniting Your Heart to Receive Fresh Holy Fire

Many Christian leaders, even at Azusa, have long maintained that more is coming.

Many have prophetically described what happened at Azusa as a releasing of the baptism in the Holy Spirit. Many have further described what is coming as a releasing of the baptism in the Holy Spirit and fire (see Luke 3:16).

First Corinthians 13 tell us, “we know in part and we prophesy in part,” so to see the whole picture we must put our parts together. This is the genius and glory of the church that will one day compel us to come together in a unity that is so great that the Lord can trust us with such unprecedented power and authority. Still, to describe what it means to be baptized with the Holy Spirit and fire cannot be answered in a single statement without tragically reducing its meaning. A new Pentecost is coming that is not new, but a recovery of some aspects of the baptism in the Holy Spirit yet to be recovered.

This belief has been at the foundation of possibly every move of God since Pentecost. To believe we have all there is or that the present church is all we are called to be is pride, delusion, or both. Some of these major missing factors include holiness, integrity, morality, and the fear of the Lord, which is the beginning of wisdom (see Psalm 111:10)—all things the great Pentecostal leaders told us came with the baptism of fire. The baptism with fire will both purify and embolden us.

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In Acts 4:31, the disciples who had lost their courage were filled again and “spoke the word of God with boldness” and without fear of consequences. This remained a hallmark of the first-century church, but where is this courage today? Today, there is a new stirring of the Spirit and a new critical mass forming that will bring a release of the baptism with the Holy Spirit like a nuclear reaction. A new Pentecost is coming, and it is right to ask for more. The Bible was not written just so we can believe what happened in it was true, but so we can believe for the same to happen in our lives today and to honor what happened in the past. Azusa was a seed, but now is the time for the harvest, and you may be the one who strikes the match that releases that fire!

The humbler you are, the better candidate you are for revival. When the Holy Spirit comes, all flesh and presumption flee. This was the hallmark of Azusa Street. Knowledge and eloquence bowed a knee to love and pure devotion, just as the apostles before the Sanhedrin in Acts created no small stir.

There’s a difference between preaching from knowledge and preaching from a well of living water that flows from God’s throne. This was a central lesson of Azusa. When God wants to move, He doesn’t look for someone wise enough, He looks for someone humble enough to follow Him. That the Lord chooses people as His habitation is one of the greatest marvels of creation. God also chooses people to do His work and often chooses individuals to ignite new moves of the Spirit. We see this throughout Scripture and history. There were also others who were prepared to keep those fires burning and lay the foundations for those gains.

Few in history have been able to find the delicate balance between being used by God and trying to use God, or as one Christian teacher put it, seeking one’s own recognition at the expense of God’s glory. Seymour’s hunger to see God move led him to keep men’s hands off the revival, and so long as he maintained this devotion, the revival fires continued to burn. From beginning to end, the revival could not be attributed to human charisma or promotion. When it did, the revival ended.

 True moves of God are not fueled by money, organization, or advertising. True revivals come when the presence of God (the pillar of fire) moves. To try and organize, promote, or sell a move of God is profane. Instead, when the Spirit wants to move in some creative way, He looks for humble people, those without all the answers, who invariably stimulate a holy desperation and dependency on God. They are the ones who are responsive to the Lord when He wants to do a new thing. In times of dynamic outpourings of the Spirit, like at Azusa Street, the Lord can only use people who are completely yielded to Him to do something new. As Jesus explained to Nicodemus: “The wind blows where it wishes, and you hear the sound of it, but cannot tell where it comes from and where it goes. So is everyone who is born of the Spirit” (John 3:8).

Those who have tried to duplicate the Azusa Street Revival have often become pitiful caricatures of the original. There is not a single example in church history of a church (wineskin) being built before a revival (new wine) was given. Those who have tried to build the wineskin first were unable to receive the new wine. One common quality in those mightily used by the Spirit throughout history has been hearing the Spirit move, then moving the way He wanted.

I have studied church history for nearly fifty years now and much of that has been devoted to revivals, but the Azusa Street Revival is, by far, among the most interesting and compelling. My goal, and I know Jeff Oliver’s goal, has been, not only to share insights from history, but also to help prepare those who will make history. Though I have tried to study every true move of God in history, my greatest interest remains in the one to come. The final move of God and greatest of all will be a combination and culmination of all revivals. You could be among the main characters in that one!

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[arabellaflynn]

(Note to the public: This is an expansion on an earlier Patron-only update. If you want those updates, sign up! I do post extra stuff, and Patrons get to see public blog entries at least 24 hours early.)

Packages continue to arrive. The Amazon guy must be so confused by now.

I am intentionally not trying to figure out who's behind it. I do know a few people IRL who could pull it off, but the reason I know them is because they're very public supporters of the arts -- I'd be aware that it was them, because they'd also be forwarding me grant applications and pitching me into networking meetings. At least two people were involved at some point, because one of the early anony-mice chose a pseudonym instead of using the default 'enjoy your gift!' message. Amazon lets you put a name on gifts, so if they wanted me to know who it was, they'd have said by now. I do keep sending thank you notes.

Nobody would keep it up this long if it wasn't fun, so good for you! I'd probably do the same thing if I had the resources. When I have money and other people don't I pay for lunches a lot, at least. I get to spoil the rats because the things that give them joy are very cheap in human terms. Right now one of them has shoved his fat little arm out through the cage bars and is trying to pull the Valentine's garland in, because it's shiny and make rustling noises and he wants it. They're very like toddlers, where the only value things have is how interesting they are, and how long it keeps them occupied. Plus they like to throw Cheerios all over the floor.

I don't have the money to get drunk right now, which narrows my options for entertainment down to 'YouTube' and 'overthinking things', so I've spent a lot of time trying to figure out why I have such mixed feelings about having an anonymous benefactor.

Most of it is very generic. When you're raised as female, especially if you turn out conventionally attractive, you're socialized to be suspicious of strangers who give you things without specifying what they want in return. Everyone wants something, when they give you a gift; even in the most innocent case, they want you to have a happy reaction. The presumption is that it's probably a dude, and he probably wants to bang you, or at least see your tits. This is a sexist and generally gross way of thinking that persists mainly because there are still some shambling choads out there who think this way, and get super mad when they hand you things you didn't ask for, and you still don't have sex with them.

I also find this line of thinking irksome, because it rests on the presumption that trading stuff for attention is somehow immoral. Why, exactly? I mean, it's uncool to assume you can just buy someone's time and focus without asking if they're for sale and negotiating prices first, but if two adults give informed consent to the arrangement, what exactly is wrong with this? And yes, you can take this to its logical conclusion. I don't do full-contact sex work, but I'm also not teaching ballroom dance or going to massage school -- I don't like strangers in my personal space. You can do whatever you want with your body. I have done boudoir and glamour modeling, and I've stripped on stage, and I'd be just fine working in someplace akin to one of Japan's famous 'hostess clubs'. It's an acting job like any other.

The rest, I think, is just that I live in a dourly Calvinist country, and I've been bombarded with 'nobody owes you nuthin' messaging since birth. Whatever you get for the work you do is supposed to be the reward for earning the approval of a higher power -- if not God, then at least management. Even artists are traditionally supposed to be concerned with the opinions of "critics", as if people with printed opinions magically control how much some other random yahoo is willing to pay to see, hear, or experience something pretty. I create things, and someone out there has decided that's worth making the Empire of Bezos mail me 30 lbs of pasta. Feels like making an illicit end run around the System.

In this case, I'm pretty sure whoever is sending stuff just wants me to have stuff, because stuff makes my life easier. And I appreciate it. The Wish Lists are about evenly split between��things that seem bafflingly mundane, like socks and toilet paper, and stuff that looks like cool toys but is actually for work. Whoever sent the shoes, you should probably know that you've also provided the rats some most excellently comfortable places to sleep. Those were the boxes that got wrapped for the Valentine's Day cage set. You can see Casper's cage, la cage des Fromages, and their snack bowls on my Instagram. 

(The improved picture quality is courtesy whoever sent the Amazon gift card. I hate replacing phones, but the previous model was starting to get pernickety about the exact angle at which I was allowed to press the power button. I upgraded to "whatever thing wasn't enormous but had a half-decent camera", which turned out to be a refurbished Samsung Galaxy S10e.

It's in a pretty red case. I give it about three more days before a rat puts some wee little teef marks in it. Phone cases are tasty, apparently.)

The stuff for work is a lot of fun, I suppose, but only because I like what I do for a living. I just applied to perform at another even in April for some percentage of the ticket sales, probably with one of the LED hoops. The bulk of the Electronics Wish List was the contents of a digital content creation setup. I already had a cheap ring light from being bored during lockdown, but thanks to the Amazon gifter(s) and another Patron who offloaded a bunch of ex-business computers into one of my wheeled suitcases the other week, I have a portable kit that fits in a computer bag and runs entirely off the laptop. I'm sure I won't get the full advertised 8-hour battery life with an audio capture box and a desk mic and so forth dangling off the USB controller, but if I'm streaming something for eight hours I'm going to demand a wall plug anyway. I'm using it to Zoom someone's wedding for their out-of-town guests this weekend.

I am sadly running out of things that I need which can also be bought on Amazon. I buy my contacts from the UK, rat medications from farm suppliers, rat decorations from the local Dollar Tree, some of the more esoteric supplements from a lab in Chicago, and transit fare from the vending machines in the T. Pretty sure the Apple Store would laugh at me if I asked whether the internets could pay to have my MacBook repaired. 

At the moment, what is worrying me most is rent, phone service, and dance classes, not necessarily in that order. I think the rent and phone things are pretty self-explanatory; my grant money won't be here until March, because government. I've applied for the federal phone service stipend but I need to snail mail them some documents, also because government.

(I had to mail in my grant papers, too. They needed a voided check to set up the electronic transfer. Why, in anno domini 2023, would I have any idea where my checkbook is? I Venmo my rent, ffs. My other bills are paid online with a PayPal MasterCard. Hell, if I cared enough to set up Google or Samsung Pay, I could buy things at CVS by strategically whacking my phone against the POS terminal. The bank gave me a pack of 25 starter checks when I opened the account, and I finished them eleven years later. I did finally find the fucking thing, but I don't have any idea why it was necessary when I could give them the routing and account numbers just fine without it.)

The dance classes are probably more important to me than they ought to be. One of the reasons I have held onto the volunteer position I have at my home studio is that they compensate us in credit, which continues to exist on their system regardless of my own financial situation. I could be living in a refrigerator box under an overpass and still take class. (Admittedly, it's easier to work this in than a lot of other things -- there's a lot of dead time at the desk, and I usually bring in some other project to work on while I'm in. Some of it is the unrelated paid IT jobs I take care of for them, so technically I'm double-billing those hours. They know and don't care, because I'm a very good receptionist even when I'm only using a quarter of my brain for it.) I am deeply unhappy if I cannot be in class. I had to take the weekend off for a head cold last month and I was miserable, even beyond the part where I used several trees' worth of tissues.

I tend to follow individual teachers rather than styles, and several of the ones I like taking class with now also work at Boston Dance Studios, a new space downtown. I've applied to their workstudy program but received no answer yet. A 10 class/30 day package covers 5 weeks of classes for me, if I'm clever about timing it, and BDS sells gift cards. It's local, non-profit, and run by a woman of color, so I'd be inclined to support it even if I had to find all new teachers there. Her personal specialty is dance heels, so if you're also local and ever harbored fantasies about being a video vixen, you can take a look.

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[milgrammer]

[ENG] Molech Voice Drama

Es: [footsteps]

Shido: Hm?

Es: Sorry to have kept you waiting. [footsteps] Prisoner number 5, Shido. 

Shido: No need to. Thank you for all your hard work, Es.

Es: Now then, Shido. Let’s begin the interrogation.

Shido: Very well. Please go ahead.

Es: [hesitates] Ok. Let’s see... Milgram exists to reveal the sins of you, prisoners, and to hand down the appropriate judgement. So, for that reason, talk to me for a bit. 

Shido: Understood. Please take good care of me from now on.

Es: [pauses] Even if this is referred to as an interrogation, at this moment in time, I don’t plan on using violence. In addition to that, any falsehood or silence from you will be acknowledged.

Shido: I see. I might refrain from voicing anything I don’t want to say, but I have no intention of lying to you.

Es: Shido, how’s life in Milgram? Do you have any complaints about its environment? Or have any issues arisen from the other prisoners, etc?

Shido: No particular inadequacies really come to mind. And, my fellow prisoners haven't particularly caused any issues either. Es, I wonder if this is the fruit of all the governing you do? It’s remarkable.

Es: Not really. [hesitates] Hold on a second, Shido. 

Shido: Yes? What is it?

Es: This is�� I know it’s me who’s getting things mixed up here, but…  In comparison to all the interrogations thus far, this one has been progressing far too smoothly; it feels somewhat unsettling. 

Shido: I’m not sure what to say to that... 

Es: Hm. [footsteps] Shido, do you seriously not have any reservations about Milgram? 

Shido: Well, let’s see. I mean, without a doubt, it’s clearly a strange place. Its architectural style and the written script it uses are things I’ve never seen before either. If you were to say I was having a dream or a vision, then that would make more sense to me. 

Es: Hm.

Shido: But, all things considered, I’m still very much conscious. My pulse rate is within its normal range. And, I can’t find any symptoms to suggest that I’m hallucinating either. So, I don't exactly find that idea to be very convincing.

Es: Oh?

Shido: Other than that... If this is the afterlife, then this place must be hell. But, if I set that idea aside, then… This is just real life. I, myself, am in normal condition; it’s where I am which is unusual. I may not know the reason behind this place or how it works, but even if I tried to escape from the reality of it, nothing would really change, right?

Es: You sure are composed, aren’t you? 

Shido: That’s just my personality. I just simply don’t think bad of it—this place, I mean. 

Es: You mean, Milgram?

Shido: Yeah, this place will put me to death. 

Es: What?

Shido: I might not get a golden opportunity like this again, so I’ll get straight to the point. Es… You decide how the prisoners will be dealt with, right? 

Es: Yeah. That’s right.

Shido: The death penalty is what I’m hoping for. Thank you in advance. 

Es: I won’t have that. The lot of you can’t decide what your own treatment will be. Only I as the prison guard have the authority to do so.

Shido: Exactly. You as the prison guard have the right to do such a thing, Es, so that’s why I’m asking you for this favour. 

Es: [scratches head, sighs] In regards to your sin, what I’ve gathered so far is that you both regret and have already reflected on your actions. On top of that, you’re also seeking to receive the maximum penalty we have to offer. So, let’s use that information. The idea that I’ll be taking your behaviour into consideration is nothing more than a mere presumption.

Shido: [hesitates]

Es: And, of course, I haven’t thrown away the possibility that you’re only doing this to get on my good side either.

Shido: Hm. I honestly have no idea what you and Milgram are setting out to achieve. You mentioned something about extracting songs and videos from our hearts, and then using them to judge our sins, didn’t you?

Es: Yeah. And, what of it?

Shido: There’s no need for you to go through such a cumbersome process. If you want to hand down the correct punishment for me, then all you have to do is put an end to my life and it'll be over in a blink of an eye.

Es: You’re being annoyingly persistent, Shido! Know your place here. 

Shido: Please listen to me, Es. I’ve killed people. Lots of them as well. It was for such a selfish reason too. I’m a fine specimen of what a genuine murderer ought to be. [footsteps] There’s no reason for you to forgive me. And, I don’t have the desire to be forgiven either.

Es: I really don’t...get you.

Shido: If you don’t put me to death, then neither the people I’ve killed nor their families will be at peace. Don’t you think so too?    

Es: As if that’s my business. I haven’t necessarily sided with your victims and I’m not a family member of theirs either.

Shido: [sighs]

Es: [sighs] Anyway, the only thing I’ll be deciding on is whether or not I forgive you. I don’t even know the details of what punishment will follow after that. 

Shido: Is that so? Es, I suppose you were left in the dark about many things as well just like the rest of us. 

Es: Knowing what happens to the lot of you afterwards might prevent me from making a straightforward decision about whether I should forgive you or not. So, it’s to avoid that from happening. Were you aware of that? 

Shido: Hm… But, this place does smell of the dead though. I’m sure that some sort of death will lie at the end of Milgram.

Es: Smell of the dead? 

Shido: Yes. I can somewhat recognise it from experience… A place which is filled with the smell of the dead, that is. 

Es: Is...that so? Well, either way, Milgram is a three-trial system. It lets me take my time to decide on whether or not I should forgive you. Even if you wish for the opposite, if I decide that you should be forgiven, then it’ll do just that without any hesitation. 

Shido: A three-trial system, right? It’ll take far too long, don’t you think? I’d rather this all be over as soon as possible.

Es: Like I care about what’s convenient for you. Don’t complain about the rules.

Shido: So, if it’s a three-trial system… Then, for example, if you absolutely can’t find it within yourself to forgive me and I don’t lodge an appeal in response, will my treatment be decided on the spot?

Es: That’s the three-trial system according to Japanese law. Milgram’s one is different from that. For the time being, you really should throw away what would be considered common sense there. I mean, if we’re gonna bring up Japan… Due to the abolition of the Prison law, this sort of prison shouldn’t even exist in the first place. (1)

Shido: Wow… 

Es: What is it? You’re going all wide-eyed. 

Shido: Ah, well… I was just thinking about how despite being a child, you’ve really done your research on this.

Es: Hey. [footsteps] You trying to make fun of me, is that it? 

Shido: What? Oh, no. I wasn’t trying to do anything like that.

Es: You were. Something’s been on my mind ever since the very beginning… “Es, this. Es, that.” It’s the belittling way you refer to me…  I’m the prison guard, you know that?

Shido: Oh, I’m completely aware of that. But, you’re still a child in actuality. Coming from me, who’s almost twice the age as you are, I just… 

Es: What is it?

Shido: For a child like you to be entrusted with this sort of role… My heart goes out to you. 

Es: Excuse me?

Shido: I don’t know what circumstances you face while guarding this prison nor the reason as to why you’re doing it, but I’m sure that it must take a toll on you emotionally as well. So, please do your best. [pats head]

Es: [is shook] I see. Oh, I see now. So, that’s how it is. So, that’s how it’s gonna be. [deep breaths]

Shido: Hm? Es?

Es: Don’t you dare… pat my head like that! [kicks]

Shido: [grunts] Please hold on for a second.

Es: Phew, I feel so much better now.

Shido: S-suddenly kicking my shin like that…wasn’t very nice of you.

Es: Shut up! Out of all the prisoners thus far, you’re the one I can’t stand the most. Going all pessimistic like that, running your mouth as if you knew everything, acting as if you’re oh-so mature, and never budging from that composed expression of yours—the nerve of you! On top of that, you even went so far as to pat my head. Do you think I’m your child? Do you?! Don’t fuck with me!

Shido: Didn’t you say that you wouldn’t use violence?

Es: It’s on a case-by-case basis.

Shido: What a thing to say.

Es: Hey, Shido. What the hell do you mean by "I want to die"? Don’t you dare try to insult me with that. Plead for your life with every fibre of your being! Our instinctive desire to stay alive is the very reason why punishments for our sins exist. To Milgram and to me, your very existence is sacrilegious! 

Shido: Es… 

Es: If your shin gets kicked, you’ll feel pain, won’t you? And if it hurts, you’ll cry out, won’t you? You’ll tear up, won’t you? 

Shido: Yeah… 

Es: Well, take that! Even if you boast about wanting to die, the pain you just felt is the exact same thing as your body screaming that it doesn’t want to. 

Shido: [pauses]

Es: While you’re still alive, you should be grabbing life with both hands! Don’t act as if you’re already dead. An adult like that has no right to treat me like a child. It makes my skin crawl. End of discussion!

Shido: I see… If I feel pain, then it’s proof that I want to live?

Es: Hmph!

Shido: [sighs] Well, with that being said, here’s my counterargument to it. It was the nociceptors in my shin which felt that pain. So, it's nothing more than a reaction caused by pain signals being transmitted to my spinal cord and then to my brain. That phenomenon is called nociceptive pain. 

Es: What?

Shido: What I’m saying is… Even if I do want to die, pain is something which will still involuntarily occur. And therefore, you, Es, were making a mistake in your claim.

Es: That's so immature of you. 

Shido: [laughs] It’s payback for kicking my shin like that. But, you know, I think it was an amazing mistake to have made. It was so radiant...to the point where it made me want to turn away. Just as I thought, you truly are a child…but that makes me incredibly happy.

Es: Shido… [mechanical noises] It’s time, huh.

Shido: So, this is what will be “extracting songs”? It sure is intriguing. I wonder what mine will be like. 

Es: Composed no matter what, aren’t you? Is there anything left you'd like to say? 

Shido: Oh, yeah. I don’t know about what the other prisoners may think about Milgram itself, but…  I fully agree with it.

Es: Sure seems that way.

Shido: I’m a fine specimen of what a murderer ought to be. I don’t mind when you hand down your judgement, but if it's possible… Instead of being told by the law that I won’t be forgiven, I wanted a child like you, Es, to tell me that.

Es: What?

Shido: I feel sorry that you had to be given this role. And, I truly apologise for being so insistent about sentencing me to death as well…  But, you’re perfect. You’ll give me the ending I’m most suited for. 

Es: [hesitates] Y-you… What’re you saying? A special request like that is so...

Shido: [laughs] Well, I wonder. I'm just trying to get you to punish me as of now. 

Es: [hesitates] 

Shido: I look forward to you handing down the correct judgment.

Es: You’re making a false presumption there. It’s the fact that it’s my judgment which makes it correct! That’s what Milgram is.

Shido: Then, I look forward to what you deem to be ‘correct’.

Es: Hmph. Say whatever you want.

Shido: Please make sure you don’t forgive me. Okay, Es?

Es: [scoffs] Don’t make me say it over and over again! I don’t give a shit about what you’re hoping for. Prisoner number 5, Shido. Come now. Sing your sins!

「監獄」 [kangoku] were essentially comprised of 「刑務所」 (for those people serving a sentence) and 「拘置所」 (for suspects, those who were awaiting a sentence or those on death row).  They operated under 「監獄法」 (the Prison Law). However, due to abolition of the Prison Law in 2007, those facilities are no longer called 「監獄」, but are now referred to as 「刑事施設」.

[74demonking]

Chapter 2

-Kellen-

The sun had not yet risen when Kelln woke the following morning. He had stayed awake late into the night trying to narrow down what it was that was troubling him, yet he was no closer to identifying what it was that had him so vexed. Regardless, he did not wish to put off his visit to Imperium, to this powerful Queen. To have another Hell realm as an ally would be a benefit. If he could at least keep her from coming to war with them, that would be the least he could hope for. Kellen rarely aimed for the least of anything, and that was true in this instance as well.

Grae had been tasked with ensuring that they would be welcomed and procuring the necessary gifts that were customary when dignitaries came on such diplomatic visits. Kellen had no worries that these had both been seen to. At least those items were not ones that he would have to attend to; his focus could be solely on the new Queen and ensuring that the first impression was perfect. For her to have assumed the throne and subjugated both of the powerful males she had, she had to be quite the female. That made her a female Kellen was very interested in.

Kellen selected his black suit carefully, along with the fur trimmed cape that would go over it. Refined in its cut and fit, but exuded power in the intricate embroidery that decorated the front. Once clothing was set aside, Kellen started his grooming, his almost black eyes carefully studying every small detail about himself in the mirror as he did. Nothing was too small to escape his notice this morning, this meeting was too important of a meeting. He would not let anything go wrong with it. Not. One. Thing.

-Grae-

The velvet box sat on his desk. The gift had been carefully chosen by one of the courtesans whom he implicitly trusted. As always, he had been entrusted with procuring the gift to be presented, and for some reason he had gotten the impression that Kellen wanted to particularly impress the Queen that they were going to visit. Maybe the King had decided to give up his lecherous ways? There was always hope. It would certainly make life easier. However, from what he had heard of Queen Gabrielle, she was not an easy nor meek woman. Grae already liked her.

He had heard from a fae that Kellen was dressing in his customary black, so Grae dressed to match in a black morning coat, vest, and trousers. A black ascot was tied formally at the neck of his shirt and secured with a diamond pin. Formal, but not so much so as to outshine the King. Grae liked his head on his shoulders and wanted to keep it there.

Before going to meet Kellen, Grae raised the lid of the velvet box. The courtesan had done wonderfully, the piece was perfect. Before sending her on the task, Grae had been able to make some discreet inquiries of those who had met the Queen and discovered that she was more of a warrior Queen than a prissy one, something he was still looking forward to seeing Kellen handle. Rarely was she seen in gowns when not receiving formal guests or hosting formal functions; more often than not, she was in fighting leathers and could almost be mistaken for one of her legion, if it were not for her height, which was diminutive. It was based on that he had given instructions to the courtesan to find something unique, not overly flashy, and something that would represent their realm more than impress with the value.

Within the box lay a necklace, the center of which was crescent moon shaped, the points facing upwards. A large oval cabochon of Uffernium Opal was in the center, two smaller circular cabochons on either side more towards the points of the crescent. There were no other stones, and the metal was silver rather than golden colored. If the Queen was anything like her reputation, then this would be much more to the female’s liking than the normal diamond encrusted gaudy pieces that they had bequeathed in the past.

-Kellen-

Kellen had just finished dressing and having his groomsman gnome adjust all the details of his outfit when there was a knock at his chamber door. He was sure it was Grae so he called for him to enter. It was getting close to the time they were to go to Imperium, and while he would have liked to go earlier, he also knew that showing up too early would not give the correct impression either.

“Let me see it,” Kellen ordered when he saw the deep burgundy velvet box that Grae bore. He was anxious to not only know what had been chosen, but also to know how the Queen would receive it.

When Grae lifted the lid, Kellen’s brows knit together in confusion. Surely this was not what his top advisor had decided was what should be given to the Queen. It would not fit her station! It would be an insult and embarrass him. What could Grae have been thinking?

“Is this a joke? Something to break the mood because you know I am unusually tense regarding this visit?” Kellen asked, trying not to swat away the dark fae that was putting the last touches on his jacket. His expression was one of clear displeasure and his voice was the exclamation mark on that.

-Grae-

So, it was clear the King had not done his homework. It was a good thing he had, but why Kellen hadn’t confused him. For some reason this visit seemed to mean more to the King than others that they went on purely for diplomatic or curiosity reasons. Grae found it hard to understand why then Kellen wouldn’t have asked about the Queen and known that the normal gifts would not be her style.

“No, it is not a joke.” Grae watched Kellen’s features darken, as well as the room slightly, at his response. He continued undaunted, “however, in my inquiries regarding Queen Gabrielle, the normal jewel and diamond encrusted pieces would not be to her liking. She rarely is seen in a gown or with her tiara on. More often she is in leathers, or human clothes and with her guard or the other Horsemen. In truth, I was more inclined to give her a blade than jewelry, but was not sure I’d survive your reaction to seeing that. The gift is for this woman to appreciate that you have looked into who she is, or at least for me to have since you did not know what I did.” The last dig was possibly a bit much since Kellen’s features were still clouded with confusion, but since the darkness had lifted from the room, Grae was pretty sure he was no longer about to kill him.

-Kellen-

“I thought that to be all rumor, or that when she ascended to the throne that had changed. I did not consider that it would not have.” Kellen’s eyes remained on the piece; a piece that was perfect for the woman it was intended for, Grae had done well. He, however, had not and it bothered him that his advisor had interpreted the intel they had received better than he had.

“I was wrong, this is the perfect gift.” His eyes rose from the necklace to look at Grae, “and skipping the blade was a smart move. Giving her a blade at first meeting might be a bit presumptive. We might save that for the second meeting.” His expression softened and he gave a slightly weary smile. Now he was more troubled than before. It was not like him to mess up. He could not ruin this.

“Grae, what is wrong with me?” He demanded finally. When his advisor looked at him warily and confused he continued, “I was up late into the night. Something is nagging at me about this visit. And now, you have better judged someone that we are going to meet than I have. So, I ask again, what is wrong with me?”

-Grae-

“Leave us.” Grae’s chin rose definitely and an air of authority came to his voice. The two fae flitting about putting the finishing touches on both of them exited the room quickly. A wave of Kellen’s hands and the doors closed and were locked so that no one could come in.

“You are afraid you might finally meet your equal.” For the first time in their long friendship and working relationship, Grae saw surprise on Kellen’s face. “Come now, you must have realized it, Kellen.”

Grae closed the velvet box and set it on a nearby table then turned back to his friend to talk. “There are few beings in creation that have the same type of power as you, most of them male. I’m not sure we’ve run into a female that has even been close, outside of the Greeks and you’ve pissed all of them off. But, Gabrielle, she could be and I think you don’t know how to handle that.” He was frank with his friend. He’d wondered how Kellen would handle it. Not well would be the answer.

-Kellen-

Kellen scoffed and turned away. “Don’t be absurd.” But Grae wasn’t, and that is what bothered Kellen more than anything. It was quite possible he was right. Then what would happen? What if she was as powerful as he? Or, if she was more powerful? Was that what had been nagging at him?

He began to pace, his fists clenching and unclenching as he did. Grae smartly stayed off to the side and observed. “If she is as powerful then we must secure her as an ally. We have a war already Grae and I cannot support one if she can bring to bear the kind of power I can. If she would stand at our side, well that would give us a tactical advantage. Yes, it would help us greatly and increase our standing in the realms.” Kellen nodded, starting to resolve things in his head.

-Grae-

“And if she is as beautiful as they say?” Grae brought Kellen to a full stop with one sentence. Had his friend really not considered that, or worse not gotten that intel from whoever was providing it to him?

“Powerful and beautiful. You are going to tell me that you haven’t even considered that, my KING?” Now he was prodding Kellen to see how the other male would react. If Gabrielle was powerful and Kellen was going to be playing a romantic game with her, it could lead them to complete ruin.

-Kellen-

His back was to Grae, but Kellen didn’t need to be facing him to know the look on his face and why he’d asked the question. “Then she will be as beautiful as they say.” He was lying to both of them and he knew it.

Turning, he faced Grae. “We are not going there in order to romance her, if that is what you are thinking.” It was true, it was not the reason for the visit. What he didn’t say was that if she lived up to everything that he’d heard about her that romancing her would be a pleasure, and one he would take very seriously. However, whether the petite woman he’d heard so much about was worth all of the praise that had been heaped upon her was still yet to be seen, and Kellen was skeptical.

“We are going there to find out exactly who and what she is. I’m also hoping to see Lucifer and Abbadon on leashes.” A smirk came to Kellen’s lips as he considered even the thought of that, not that he could get lucky enough to see either male in that position. “And we’re also going to make sure that she knows the power that resides within Uffern as well.” Kellen’s face sombered. “If she is not as powerful as they say, then we don’t want her thinking that her badass reputation gives her the right to try to come in here and boss us around. I believe it is now time, let us go and see exactly who this Queen Gabrielle is.”

@74hybridangel

@kellencythraul

[admdmrtn]

ooh also 18 🤩

CHRISHHAAAAAAA!!!!! here's one out of the many asks KJHDFSJDHFSKDJFH i’ll slowly get these done but thank you so much for sending them in 👉👈🥺 i hope you like this!!

18. kisses where one person is sitting in the other’s lap

“Must it be you?”

Adam doesn’t quite comprehend - Edith has mentioned one too many times how, in her own words, “sketchy” Bobby Marks is, how he’s turned around to stab her in the back at every opportunity presented to him, and how irreparable their friendship has become since their falling out in university. And even though he’s only met the reporter a few times - not once at all did he bother to interact - Adam’s found that those claims deem true more than they do false.

So why, pray tell, is it that Edith has agreed to a dinner with the very vermin himself?

“Detective Lin would have been just as competent a candidate,” he mutters to himself, folding his arms before sighing in realization at how pathetic he sounds. He’s doing it again; since becoming intimate with Edith, things have … changed, to say the least.

Though, admittedly, things have changed in the best of ways.

Walking out from behind the false wall partition at the back of her bedroom, Edith opens the door that leads out to the front part of her apartment and tosses a pair of flats over. Adam can’t help but notice how the lilac of her wrap dress compliments the colour of her skin, and he is physically incapable of resisting drawing his eyes over the length of her body, marveling at the elegance she radiates with every move made.

Meanwhile, Edith gathers her hair up at the top of her head, looking around the room briefly as she does so, before asking, “have you seen my hair clip?”

Adam twists around where he’s sat at her vanity and spots the pink accessory - its vibrant colour pale and muted, evidence of its frequent use. Making a mental note that it would benefit to get a new one for her, perhaps something more long lasting in quality, he picks it up and waves it in her direction.

“Thanks.”

Before he’s able to return her gratitude, Edith makes a move to sit on Adam’s lap, her expression completely nonchalant except for the ghost of a small smirk that dances on the corners of her lips. She styles her hair in silence, concentration fully trained on herself through the mirror, as if sitting on his lap is part of a routine they’ve always done.

To be fair, and contrary to his shocked reaction, Adam isn’t actually opposed to the idea at all. Having her in this way, positively forward without being even one bit overbearing, he continuously finds himself wrong about every presumption he’s made before.

Edith… She’s truly a special one; as though she has a book of secret codes, she’s somehow aware of all the combinations to the buttons he has, aware of which ones to press and in which order so to produce an outcome that is both new and uncharted for him, yet only just teasing at the limits of his comfort zone.

His arms move on their own, snaking around her waist and pulling her a little closer to him. As she thoroughly inspects her hairdo, turning left and right and back again, Edith catches his eyes, her own pair glimmering bright and reminding him of iron ore in its most organic form. Resilient. Genuine. Raw.

Exactly like her.

Exactly like her love.

“It was the mayor’s idea.”

Edith’s voice breaks through his rumination, holding his gaze through the mirror. She reaches for her jewellery box, pulling a few studded earrings and begins to adorn them.

Adam rests his chin on her shoulder, rolling his eyes slightly as he continues to watch her. “I was informed.”

“Then you see why I couldn’t say no.”

He does, but that doesn’t help ease the idea of her having to dine for an hour or so with Bobby Marks. The image of them chatting away in a restaurant, sitting across from each other, is one he could do without having to experience for another 900 years - or at all if possible. But he supposes he understands why the dinner must be done.

Gossip through the grapevine has been brought to attention that Marks has succeeded in rallying supporters through his articles and that consequently means unwanted attention onto the Wayhaven Police Department that not only the Agency cannot afford, but apparently the Mayor as well. This meeting Edith’s going to is set up with the intent to find out more about what he plans to do with such a considerable number of following.

A sigh escapes from him - Adam looks back at Edith from where his gaze has dropped momentarily and decides he’ll just have to tolerate the tattler for one night. Besides, he plans to keep within hearing distance, to remain at the ready to retrieve Edith out of the situation if Marks so says one thing out of line.

“You look beautiful,” he comments sincerely in an attempt to wave away his concerns about the upcoming meet, and like a blossom, Edith’s smile blooms gracefully across her features; Adam finds himself taken by her sophisticated simplicity.

Still smiling, Edith leans forward to grab a necklace. “Can you put this on for me?” She asks him, giving him a side glance this time instead of meeting his eyes through the mirror. “Please don’t break it,” she adds in jest when he takes the jewellery from her dainty fingers.

He chuckles. Working the clasp, Adam lays it gingerly around her neck before fastening it. He sees the way her skin responds to his fingers, goosebumps rising in their wake, herself shivering slightly under his touch. When he’s done, he spreads his hands along the length of her shoulders and kneads them gently; Edith moans softly, the sound of it absolutely delightful to his ears.

Moving down her arms, he interlocks his fingers with hers right as he begins to pepper soft kisses on her back, each one pressed harder than the previous, trailing them from her shoulder blades, to the crook of her neck, and up it. With her eyes closed, Edith tilts her head to the side to allow him more access, her moans almost an endless melody; a particularly loud one hums in her throat when he reaches the sweet spot behind her ear.

She leans into him, sighing in content. “I have to leave soon,” she whispers, though the tone in her voice portrays anything else but the urgency of her statement. Adam echoes her sigh - but his is more in minor annoyance that she’s got to go already.

Edith stands up and grabs her purse from her bed, and instantly Adam misses the weight of her against him. He tries to hide it as he follows her to the front door where she’s putting on her shoes; he holds out his hand out of reflexes and she takes them even though Edith’s perfectly balanced on one foot.

“Remind me again why Detective Lin is incapable of taking your place?” Adam asks, his curiosity piqued once again.

“She’s busy tonight.”

“With what exactly?”

“Mason.”

Adam huffs as Edith lets go of his hand and opens the door, but he grabs at her elbow before she can step out. She turns to look at him, glancing at his hand and then back to his face.

“If averting this dinner can be done by busying ourselves, you need only ask.”

A wide smile grows slowly across Edith’s features, astonishment clear as day in her expression. The lack of her immediate response tells him that she’s internally debating on it, and as surprising as it may be, he finds himself mildly disappointed when she shakes her head.

“I have to do this, Adam,” she says before moving closer to him, standing on her toes and giving him a small kiss on his cheek. After a moment’s hesitation however, she leans nearer to his ear and whispers, “but maybe after dinner.”

[moghedien]

Love Me, Love Me - An Overly Obsessive Analysis of All You Wanna Do

     Here it is. I’m finally writing a far too long and overly analytic essay that no body asked for (well one person did) about All You Wanna Do from Six the Musical. More realistically, I’m going to discussing Katherine Howard throughout the musical and specifically how she manipulates the audience throughout the show to make All You Wanna Do all the more effective. I use the word manipulate and will probably do so again, which has a negative connotation, but I don’t mean it in a negative way. It’s just the most effective word to use. I should also note that I’ve never seen Six…live. I may have happened upon some less than legal video, and all of the knowledge I’ll be pulling from beyond the cast recording and some audios will be from that. I know it was an earlier show and that there have been some changes since then, and I don’t have any way of knowing what those changes are so please bear with me if some details aren’t completely correct or still accurate. I do have every intention to see a production of Six eventually, but I live in the very, very Deep American South, so getting to a city where its playing is gonna take some time. Also, due to the nature of this song, I’m putting a heavy content warning for sexual assault, child grooming, pedophilia, etc. If you’ve listened to the song, you know what its about, so you know I’m going to be discussing all that.

     Now that the preliminary disclaimers are out of the way, let’s begin.

     From the beginning of the show, Katherine Howard is trying to win the audience over more than any other Queen. They’re trying in various ways, yes, but Howard is the one putting the most work in beyond just trying to make herself look better or justify herself to them. From her introduction in Ex-Wives she’s doing this. She interrupts Cleves’s dick joke with “Prick up your ears,” turning Cleves’s joke that probably would have landed somewhat, and making it her joke that definitely lands with the audience. After Ex-Wives, she looks directly at the audience when she delivers the line “The Thomas Cromwell Amongst the Royal Ministers, between 1532 and 1540” which is a line that only works because it goes on too long and is weirdly detailed and specific enough to be funny. She looks and points at people in the front row when she says “between 1532 and 1540” as an acknowledgement that she’s breaking from her stage persona for a moment to give them this line, and that sells it to the crowd. They know that she’s purposely being overly detailed and they’re with her. It’s not expected, especially not from her, and so its funny. The entire goal of K Howard throughout this show is the make sure that the audience stays with her and to use what people expect from her to her own advantage and, at some points, against them.

     Really, that’s the goal of all the Queens to win over the audience, but the rest approach it differently. Aragon tries to convince the audience that she’s right and therefore deserves to win the competition. Boleyn tries to make her whole situation out to be ridiculous (including the fact that she got beheaded). Both of them heavily fall into basically going “can you believe what Henry did?” And I mean, neither of them is wrong. Seymour tries to pull on heartstrings and play into love and loss. Cleves…is interesting. Cleves is basically just there to prove that she’s above Henry and his nonsense. Parr I’m not really going to touch on, because her song is more a reaction to everyone else and the scene that happens after Howard gets “real” with her song. The other queens will occasionally interject to try to further win people over to their side, but they do so using the same point they were making in their song. They aren’t subtle about it, though they try to be. To the audience, though, its always clear what they’re doing, and for the most part that’s the joke. The one who actually is subtle about it, though, is Howard.

     Being the fifth wife, Howard goes second to last. She knows this, and knows she can’t dump her trauma on the audience before her song, so what does she do make her case throughout the show, before she gets her shot in the spotlight? She makes sure the audience is on her side already by the time it gets to her. She steals Cleves’s punchline. She makes winky jokes with the audience and acknowledges that she’s doing so. She’s overall charming and she never once tries to convince them to be on her side in the competition, or at least never makes it seem like that’s what she’s doing. She just wants them to laugh at her jokes and like her, but that has nothing to do with the competition, surely? Well, considering she uses these exact same methods in her song, you can assume that this is an intentional manipulation. Again, I don’t mean manipulation maliciously, but she’s definitely making the audience want to like her before she even begins her story. But that’s for more reason than just winning the competition. 

     When it does get to her turn, the other queens try to again interject with their own points (the same points they’ve already made) and belittle her. It’s actually somewhat interesting because you can see Howard trying to speak up before Parr tells them it’s her turn, but she seems kind of meek in the background as the other queens bicker amongst themselves. Even after Parr has to kind of push her forward because its her turn, she looks intimidated. She seems to be trying to make herself small, and she’s holding onto the microphone like it’s a security blanket. She actually looks nervous, and she’s right in the middle of the stage, so all of the audience sees her being frightened and will probably feel for her in that moment. She looks like someone who needs help. 

     Then she begins roasting the other queens like chestnuts upon an open fire. It begins with their “Good luck trying to compete with us” to which she responds “You’re right, I mean your lives all sounded terrible, and your songs…” and then she shrinks back into her meek, awkward pose a moment before adding “…do a lot to convey that.” She’s using the sympathy she gained with the audience to pull off that joke, because they see that she’s being bashful but then she just pulls off this burn in the middle of that bashfullness. So they feel sympathy for K Howard, who’s already been charming throughout the show, who’s being shy now, but still manages to be funny. So the audience is with her already. Then she goes to the queens one by one and points out holes in their claims to having the Worst Time, but she does it in a humorous way. She does it in a way that makes the audience feels like it’s for them. She even looks at the audience when she gets to Parr, making a “can you believe her?” expression at them instead of actually addressing Parr. Howard is with the audience and the audience is with Howard. Its never been more true than in this moment.

     When she gets to Cleves, she doesn’t insult Cleves in any way and instead decides to use the moment brag about herself. Not in a way that has anything to do with Henry or the competition. “Being rejected for your looks legit sounds terrible. I wouldn’t know anything about that.” And its not Cleves she’s addressing at this point, because again, she’s speaking to the audience when she says “Look at me, I’m really fit,” and in the version I saw, there are lots of cheers at this. People were whistling at her. People not only agree with everything she’s saying now, but they love her.

     And then we get to her song. She drops her song like its her mic drop saying she has no idea how she’s going to compete with other queens. “Oh wait, like this” and the lights drop and the music starts and it’s a big seamless conclusion to the roast. Only its not the conclusion, you’re only just beginning, and haven’t even begun to realize what Howard is doing to manipulate you to make her point.  

     So Howard uses the audience in a way that others don’t do in their songs. In Aragon and Seymour’s songs, they act as though Henry is their audience. Boleyn and Cleves acknowledge the actual audience more, but its still as part of the song. Certain moments will be sung to specific audience members, but its only moments and again, its sung. It’s part of the song. Howard, on the other hand, doesn’t sing all of her story. A lot it’s a conversation with the audience; she’s telling them a story, and she’ll stop her song occasionally to continue the conversation. Bear with me, because I’ll be going line by line now.

     She opens by speaking to the audience:

“I think we can all agree

I'm the ten amongst these threes”

     And that’s both bold and presumptive, but by this point, she’s won over the audience. They do agree with her. They like her. They think she’s funny. They think she’s hot. And these lines aren’t only meant to boost her, but it gets the audience to belittle the other queens by agreeing with her. It’s also one last reminder that she’s on their side and they’re on hers. One last reminder that they can trust where she’s going to take them, and she trusts them.

And ever since I was a child

I'd make the boys go wild

 Take my first music teacher

Henry Manox

I was young, it's true

But even then I knew

The only thing you wanna do is...

     She starts out speaking these lines, then begins singing them as she goes on. Note the last three lines in particular. She’s going to mention her age again in a moment, but before she even gets to the exacts of that, she’s telling you that “even then she knew.” So she’s making it clear right off the bat that she at least wants us to think she knows what people want from her. Also note she’s not saying “the only thing men want” or “the only think Henry Manox wanted.” She’s using you. I’m going to go more on that later, but her switch between third and second person pronouns is interesting. Also she doesn’t ever finish the sentence of what it is “you” wants to do. You’re forced to fill in the blanks by the kiss and breath she gives instead of the completion of the sentence. Again, more on that in a moment.

Broad, dark, sexy Mannox

Taught me all about dynamics

He was twenty three

And I was thirteen going on thirty

    This is the first real indication that something’s off. This is also the first place that a lot of people will stop and think “wait what did she just say?” I remember the first time I listened to the song, I definitely noted the ages and I definitely was disgusted. In the live versions I’ve heard, Howard’s voice will fall a little when she says “I was 13” but she’ll immediately pick up again and add “going on 30” like it’s a joke that she’s telling everyone. Sometimes people laugh at it. Sometimes they don’t. When they do, it’s either that they don’t take in what she’s saying or it’s an awkward, uncomfortable reaction. A “oh ok that was a joke then?” It makes people uncomfortable, especially since she begins the verse by describing Manox as “Broad, dark, sexy.” She’s making him sound appealing, suggests that she finds him appealing right before dropping the fact that she was 13 and he was 23. That’s information she can’t drop and have it be ok without either breezing past it and hoping you don’t notice, or making light of it and trying to say it was ok. Howard does both of these, which makes it so that she doesn’t really accomplish either effectively. It sounds wrong. You, the audience, notice it, but you still go past it and keep watching/listening to the rest of her song.

We'd spend hours strumming the lute

Striking the chords and blowing the flute

He plucked my strings all the way to G

Went from major to minor, C to D

    This happens immediately after the age reveal, in the same verse. Howard just blows past the age thing and starts to make it clear the relationship was sexual. She tries to convince the audience that she was on board. She puts herself in an active role saying “We’d spend hours” but then two lines later puts only him in the active role. A subtle thing, but it’s as if she can't keep up the claim that they were both active, willing participants in this. Her tone is still suggesting that everything is fine, that she’s on board and being taken care of in some way. Look, she’s so much more excited and outgoing than she was earlier when she was standing meekly in the middle of the stage, so she’s probably ok. 

Tell me what you need

What you want, you don't need to plead

    She changes who’s she’s addressing here. She’s no longer talking to the audience, or at least makes it seem like she isn’t at first glance. She’s talking to Manox, and frames it as if she’s trying to reassure him. “You don’t need to plead” suggests that he is pleading, which is a weird way to frame a 23 year old man trying to pressure a 13 year old girl to have sex with him. But this is coming from the point of view is of the 13 year old girl, who’s already been trying to put herself in an active role in this. But note that she’s never actually saying “this is something I want,” and instead saying “this is something he needs.” She’s not framing herself as “needing” anything, but instead trying to make herself understanding to his supposed needs. She makes it seem like she’s doing something for him, again putting herself in an active role. Making it seem like this was something she decided to do. 

'Cause I feel the chemistry

Like I get you and you get me

    And now she’s explaining why she’s “deciding” to do this. She feels a chemistry with Manox. He gets her. You get her, because she’s still using second person when referring to Manox. Manox still isn’t he anymore. Manox is you. And isn’t it interesting that she’s putting you (the audience) in Manox’s role when she’s been addressing you and building up a rapport with you (the audience) for the entire show? She gets the audience and the audience gets her, right?

And maybe this is it

He just cares so much it feels legit

    She switches back to third person now, removing any suggestion that she might be referring to anyone but Manox. Because now she’s trying to justify this. To herself. To you the audience. It’s ok if she “lets” him do this because he might be The One, right? He seems to care for her, so wouldn’t this be caring for him? Didn’t she already say that she understands that he needs this? If she’s letting him, then it’s not bad...right?

We have a connection

I think this guy is different

    Ah, the first “connection.” This is the part in the song where Howard gets touched for the first time. It’s not too much. Parr and Seymour stand in either side of her, facing away from the audience, and they put their hands in her shoulders. You might not even realize that they’re doing it at first. Howard doesn’t seem bothered by it, and doesn’t acknowledge it. She looks at the audience while two people put hands on her and she sings that “this guy is different.” And the audience watches still, witnessing all that’s happening. The two people touching her are looking away from you, clearly not wanting to be seen, but still clearly doing it.

'Cause all you wanna do

All you wanna do baby

Is touch me, love me, can't get enough, see

All you wanna do

All you wanna do baby

Is please me squeeze me birds and the bees me

   The first chorus, and I should note the music at this point is very pop-y. It’s upbeat. It’s happy and gives you no reason to think anything’s off at this point.

     So for the chorus, Howard switches back to second person. All YOU wanna do is touch her. All YOU wanna do is love her. It’s obvious that the “you” here is Manox, but the frequent switches from “you” to “he” is disorienting, especially since she goes on to address the audience directly immediately after the chorus. So it’s not so much that she’s addressing You the Audience instead of Manox, and what she’s actually doing is making Manox a part of You the Audience. She’s focusing on him for now, but don’t these claims also apply to the audience? They cheered and whistled she said she was really fit. They laughed and agreed when she said she was a ten. They’ve been on her side every time she made a claim like that. So while You the Audience may not be Manox, Manox is among you, and you have some things in common with him. That combined with the plucky, pop music doesn’t seem bad right now. The audience doesn’t even notice the 23 year old man in their midst that is forcing sex on a 13 year old, especially since the 13 doesn’t seem to be suffering or anything. Look at her, she’s fine and she’s encouraging it, isn’t she? She seems happy. You’ve seen what it looks like when she’s afraid. And let’s be clear “birds and the bees me” leaves no illusion as to exactly what’s going on. She’s telling you what’s going on, so there’s no way to deny that or suggest otherwise. You know what’s happening. 

Run your fingers through my hair

Tell me I'm the fairest of the fair

Playtime's over

The only thing you wanna do is...

    Last part of the chorus, and I wanted to separate it to point out the language. The language isn’t inherently aggressive or violent here. “Run your fingers through my hair” that’s almost nothing. We know what’s going on because the lines above tell us it IS sexual, but this is rather tame for the most part. The accompanying music is rather tame too, and still perky. The “fairest of the fair” allusion adds fairy tale language and the next line “playtimes over” here work together to reinforce the impression that she’s 13 here. She’s a kid who thinks that this man might be Prince Charming. She tells herself it’s romantic, it’s a fairy tale. But then playtime is over. The line repeats through each chorus but here it has two meanings: Manox is done with her, and childhood is done. She may not even realize the latter yet. She may not even realize that this man hurt her, but this man who “felt legit” and might have been “it” is clearly done with her. The only thing he/you wanted was to....

  She never actually directly says sex, but she makes every possible reference she can to make it clear that sex occurred. But she can never finish the line “the only thing you wanna do is...” She can never bring herself to claim it. Instead she just blows a kiss and makes you figure out the rest. The only thing you/Manox wanted was sex, and when he got it he was done. You know that. She knows it but can’t completely acknowledge it and make it real. It’s obvious though, and the audience is still watching this happen.

    So for the next lines, I’m going to use the spoken dialogue from the show rather than the cast recording because I think it provides better context.

[Spoken]

So then there was another guy, Francis. And at the time I was living at my step-grandma’s house and he was working for her. Working so, so hard. So he asked me to be his little piece of ass...sistant.

  So Howard speaks these lines rather than sing them. As I mentioned already, she’s the only queen who really stops her song multiple times to turn to the audience and talk to them. But she isn’t only acknowledging them, she’s giving them a story. She’s providing context. She’s being friendly with them. Yes, she’s the one performing on stage, but she knows that the audience is there and she knows what they want, and she’s so willing to please. To give people the entertainment and the story they want. It’s like she wants to make sure that the audience really understands. 

    So to get to what Howard actually says here, she just breezes past Manox and moves onto the next guy. She doesn’t let herself dwell on Manox any longer and quickly rushes forward and onto Francis. The context for Francis, like Manox, is unsettling. She’s living with her step-grandmother and her grandmother’s adult secretary turns his attention on her and gets her to “help” him. However, like with Manox, she makes a joke about it. She acknowledges that he wants her around so that he can objectify and sexualize her. She uses that fact as a punchline, and people do laugh at the line. Even when she’s clearly saying “he employed me because he wanted to have sex with me” the audience laughs, because her joke was funny, she seems to be fine, and she has a happy tone as she’s saying all of this. Manox didn’t turn out that bad, did he? She still seems happy, doesn’t she? The audience is still watching, aren’t they?

Serious, stern and slow

Get's what he wants and he won't take no

Passion in all that he touches

The sexy secretary to the Dowager Duchess

     A few things here. Howard’s tone is still meant to make it seem like she was into this, like these are attractive attributes of Francis, but literally the only positive words here are “passion” and “sexy.” She’s literally telling you that he doesn’t take no for an answer. She’s also pointing out again the Dowager Duchess, her step grandmother. The woman who was supposed to be in charge of keeping an eye on her, but didn’t. The woman who definitely could have given Francis the boot or made sure, at the very least, that he didn’t make Howard his “piece of ass…sistant.” It’s not something that happened once and no one could have known about it. Howard mentions the woman twice, pointing out her prominence here. A woman who probably saw what was going on and did nothing, or who decided not to actually see what was going on and still did nothing. Who else is seeing what’s going on right now and doing nothing?

Helped him in his office, had a duty to fulfil

He even let me use his favourite quill

spilled ink all over the parchment

my wrist was so tired

Still I came back the next day

as he required

     So Howard is again making it perfectly clear what’s going on without actually having to say it. If you didn’t get it at “his favorite quill” and “spilled ink all over the parchment,” you probably get it when she says “my wrist was so tired” which she speaks instead of sings and delivers it as if it’s a joke line. But then the next lines are “Still I came back the next day/as he required.” Her use of the word “still” really makes it clear how much agency she had in the situation, though at this point she’s still mostly trying to claim an active role in everything. What she’s saying here is “he made me do this and I did, but look, I still came back the next day.” You don’t say “still I came back” when you’re in a pleasant situation. The illusion she’s trying to create is starting to slip some. She’s starting to have trouble painting all of this out as something she enjoyed and chose.

You say I'm what you need

All you want you don't need to plead

'Cause I feel the chemistry

Like I get you and you get me

     This bit of the pre-chorus is nearly identical to what she says about Manox, and again she slips into second person. Instead of her asking you/Francis what you need like she did with Manox, though, you/Francis are telling her. She’s not acting, but being acted upon. Still, she has to reassure that you/Francis don’t need to plead because obviously you have chemistry. And you/Francis get her. So, the “you” now consist of Manox, Francis, and the audience. Those two men are among the people watching this whole thing go down.

And I know this is it

He just cares so much this one's legit

We have a real connection

I'm sure this time is different

     So the language here is notably different than it was with Manox. First I want to point out that this is the first indication from Howard herself that something with Manox was wrong. She’s “sure this time is different” meaning that she’s trying to convince herself that this time won’t be like last time. But she seemed so happy and into what happened last time? I mean, anyone with enough common sense to know that a 23 year old man should not be with a 13 year old would know that something was wrong, but Howard gave no indication herself that anything was wrong. Up until right now, retrospectively. And again, at the word connection, two of the queens touch her shoulders, grabbing her while they face away from the audience, wanting to remain anonymous while doing it.

     What she is doing is trying to convince herself that this time, its ok. Whereas before she thinks they have a connection, now she knows. She doesn’t think this guy is different, she’s sure this time is different. Francis doesn’t just feel legit, he is legit. She’s telling both the audience and herself, “last time was bad but this time is real and fine!” And yet, we continue.  

'Cause all you wanna do

All you wanna do baby

Is touch me love me can't get enough see

All you wanna do

All you wanna do baby

Is please me, squeeze me, birds and the bees me

You can't wait a second more

To get my corset on the floor

Playtime's over

The only thing you wanna do is...

     The only lines in the chorus that aren’t identical to the first are “You can’t wait a second more/to get my corset on the floor” replacing the lines about telling her she’s the fairest of the fair. So the line that alludes to fairy tales gets replaced with a line about her getting naked. Meaning that the previous line that suggests her youth and wasn’t inherently sexual is replaced with a line that directly sexualizes her. She’s not that much older here than she was when the Manox incident occurred, but ever since the incident with Manox occurred, playtime has been over. The repetition of that reminds you of that, and again, suggests that Francis is done with her once he gets what he wants.

[Spoken]

So yeah, that didn’t work out. Turns out some guys just employ women to get them into their private chambers. Different time back then. So I decided to take a break from boys. Focus on my career, and my dad got me this amazing work placement in court and you’ll never guess who I met.

     This time Howard does acknowledge that “that didn’t work out.” She acknowledges directly that her impressions about Francis were wrong. She was sure about him. She phrased everything in absolutes, not hypotheticals, and it still “didn’t work out.” But Howard is still working the audience here. She’s glib, makes it sound like a joke. Then drops the line “Turns out some guys just employ women to get them into their private chambers. Different time back then.” That may be the most important line here. It’s a joke, but one that we get because we know its ironic and not accurate. We know now more than ever that men still hire women to “get them into their private chambers.” We know that in this instance, times aren’t different. This still happens, and its something that has been ignored and not talked about until very recently. Howard knows that we know this. She knows that “different times back then” will land, and she uses that line and that knowledge to connect what has happened and will continue to happen to her to those abuses we know about now. We know those things happen, and they happened to Howard back then too, and we’re still just watching it happen to her.

     So this is where the song also really starts to shift. She says that she’s taking a break from boys and focusing on her career. She gets a good job. She stops sexualizing the situation and trying to justify what’s going to happen before hand. She’s starting to realize what she actually wants, and that’s to have a good job at court. She’s making career choices, not marital choices. She is now making the decision herself that she doesn’t want men or a relationship, but a job.

Tall, large, Henry the Eighth

Supreme head of the Church of England

Globally revered

Although you wouldn't know it from the look of that beard

     How she introduces Henry is already different. She attempted to sexualize the prior two men and make them sound appealing. In most audios I heard, Howard pauses between “large” and “Henry the Eight,” as if she’s trying to come up with some more appealing way to describe him but she can’t. The best descriptions she has is “he’s big and the head of a religion. Some people like him and his beard is funny.” Very sexy description. It’s like she can’t even make herself sexualize him. With the others she could at least tell herself that they were attractive so she must be interested in them. Not with Henry.

Made me a lady in waiting

Hurled me and my family up in the world

Gave me duties in court and he swears it's true

That without me he doesn't know what he'd do

     Still, Howard is doing nothing to attempt to sexualize Henry. She’s not even suggesting that their relationship was sexual or romantic, whereas before she was explicit about the sexual natures of her relationships. She’s talking about a job. He gave her a job. He elevated her family by giving her a high placement in court, and clearly its because she deserves it, as he says he doesn’t know what he’d do without her. She’s doing nothing to build to the marriage that we know is coming. She’s doing nothing to romanticize this. She’s here to have a career. She wants to do her job, and she’s proud that she seems to be doing such good work and making Henry (her boss in this situation) pleased with her work.

You say I'm what you need

All you want we both agree

This is the place for me

I'm finally where I'm meant to be

     These lines are, to me, maybe the saddest in the entire song. Worse than the chorus about Thomas Culpepper even. Howard has done nothing up until this point to suggest that she and Henry’s relationship is sexual or would become sexual. She’s been talking about her job in court. These lines, unlike with the previous two men, don’t read as if she’s trying to agree to their sexual advances. They read as if she’s meeting with her boss. They read as if she’s interviewing for a job or a promotion. She’s what he needs in court. They both agree that court is the place for her. And she’s finally realized that this, the work she does in court, is what she wants. Not a relationship with a man. She doesn’t even seem to comprehend that Henry could go after her. As she said earlier, she’s focusing on her career. Then Henry comes to her with this and she thinks they’re on the same page. But they’re definitely not talking about the same things.

     And once again, she’s making Henry a part of you. He’s in the audience with the other two. You, the audience, came here knowing what would happen. Howard is only here because Henry did go after her and married her. You know this. You know where he’s going with this. And you’re watching her not realize what’s happening until she accidentally agrees to this and gets into the situation. You’re still watching. You’re still with Manox and Francis and now, you’re with Henry.

Then he starts saying all this stuff

He cares so much he calls me love

     Now Howard is realizing that Henry wasn’t talking about her career. He was saying that he needs to be with her. And for the first time, we get no indication about exactly what’s going on except “he starts saying all this stuff.” But he does seem to care, doesn’t he? He calls her love, doesn’t he? That’s not nothing, right? That has to mean something. She legitimately struggles with this, because two of the queens try to touch her shoulders again, and she swats them away. She can’t even make it seem like she’s interested. The “he cares so much” is a half hearted attempt to comfort herself.

He says we have this connection

I guess it's not so different

     At this connection, two of the other queens grab her shoulders like they did before, but another comes from behind and puts an arm around her waist. She doesn’t see it happen and she can’t do anything to break away because she’s literally being held. But this time she isn’t the one saying they have a connection. He is saying they have a connection. She doesn’t seem to agree, and she has to tell herself that this relationship isn’t so different from the previous ones, and also that this outcome isn’t so different from what she wanted. Isn’t being queen like a promotion? But she literally has to use the two times she previously taken advantage of by older men to comfort her in this situation. It’s not so different from those times. This time it’s just your boss who is also your king, the head of your religion, physically imposing and by all accounts repulsive and sickly, about 33 years older than you, has a daughter that’s older than you, and also beheaded one of his previous wives who happens to be your first cousin. It’s not THAT different.

'Cause all you wanna do

All you wanna do baby

Is touch me, love me, can't get enough see

All you wanna do

All you wanna do baby

Is seize me, squeeze me, birds and the bees me

There's no time for when or how 'cause you

Just got to have me now

Playtime's over

The only thing you wanna do is...

     Before I even get into the language here, I’m want to talk about the choreography of this verse. Howard all but stops dancing. She’s pretty much just standing there, occasionally shifting or making a hand gesture, but she’s not dancing. She looks like someone who is trying to look like they’re dancing but failing terribly at it. She just looks so defeated. Before she could go along with it, or at least seem like she’s going along with it, but now she’s just standing there. And all around her the queens are still dancing, and their movements seem more violent juxtaposed against how little she’s doing here. They’re moving around her, touching her or almost-touching her, and she’s just letting it happen. Does nothing to protest it or join in with it.

     The language in the chorus is getting more and more violent. “You” no longer want to please her. Now its “All you want do baby/is seize me.” Unlike with the last two men, Howard didn’t know what Henry was after from the beginning. She was on a different page with him until she had gotten into the situation, so even though the other two men had also been predatory, even though they had taken advantage of her and lied and manipulated her, the situation with Henry is much more violent because it’s not expected. She doesn’t have time to mentally prepare herself or try to convince herself that she has a choice in it. “There’s not time for when or how cause you just got to have me now” shows how suddenly this all was to her. And with Henry, she has the added complication of him being Henry. He’s not only forcing this, but she’s now the queen. Please remember that Katherine Howard was most likely either 16 or 17 when she became queen. Right here we’re talking about someone who wouldn’t even be out of high school yet and a 49 year old man who’s already had four wives.

[Spoken]

So we got married

Wooh...

     Before, Howard can monologue a little bit between each chorus and verse, usually saying something that is supposed to make the audience laugh. After the chorus about Henry, though, this is all you get. She sounds so defeated/distraught and even chocked up when she says “So we got married,” and in some versions will sound like she’s trying to come up with more to say, but ends up just going “Woooh..” in a really unhappy way in attempts to make the audience laugh. A lot of people do laugh, because they’re supposed to. It’s a joke. It’s a joke being delivered by a teenager who just recounted one of the most horrifying experiences a young girl/woman in a job can experience, and afterward just married her boss who put her through it because she didn’t really have a choice. Wooooh. And you’re still watching this all go down, even now that you can see that she’s clearly uncomfortable because she can no longer pretend otherwise.

With Henry it isn't easy

His temper's short and his mates are sleazy

Except for this one courtier

He's a really nice guy, just so sincere

     So Howard does absolutely nothing to introduce Thomas before this moment. She doesn’t even say his name yet, and she never says his last name. Manox, Francis, and Henry all got introduced or hinted at before their respective parts of the song. With Thomas, she opens up with countering him against Henry and his sleazy mates. She’s making it clear she can’t even pretend to have a good relationship or good opinions of Henry. She’s queen and the only thing good she has is that one of Henry’s friends is nice to her and not a complete sleaze. Remember that prior to this, when she was describing court, she was so happy. She said that she belonged there, that she was happy and she liked it. She’s still in the same place and technically she’s higher in rank, and its miserable. Miserable to the point that even with what’s about to happen, her voice lifts slightly when she says Thomas is “just so sincere,” as if it’s a relief to her. As if it’s a pleasant memory, and not the thing that will soon end with her being taken advantage of once again and then beheaded for her “crimes.”

The royal life isn't what I planned

But Thomas is there to lend a helping hand

So sweet, makes sure that I'm okay

And we hang out loads when the king's away

     So Howard went from being excited for her job in court, to being thrust in an extremely powerful and heavily scrutinized role with little to no help. Except Thomas, who to her, seems to be genuine. Why wouldn’t he want to help her? She’s his queen, and the wife of one of his friends. And now she’s married, so there’s nothing that could come of their relationship anyway. Howard now might be the safest she’s ever been from men (other than Henry) because not only is she married, she’s married to the king. That should de-sexualize her entirely, right? So Thomas’s help must be genuine and his friendship must be genuine. Howard has no reason to worry about his motives.  

This guy finally

Is what I want, the friend I need

Just mates, no chemistry

I get him and he gets me

     Howard doesn’t switch to second person here, like she usually does. She doesn’t make Thomas a part of that “you” that consists of Manox, Francis, Henry, and the audience. Because she has no reason to. Because he’s just a friend. And she realizes that’s what she’s needed this entire time: a friend. Someone that will make sure she’s ok. Only now, after all that’s been through in her short life, does she realize that’s all she’s ever wanted or needed. Someone who can just help her and spend time with her without sexualizing her or having any kind of ulterior motive. She can pretend to have chemistry with the other men, but Thomas is and will always be her friend. Someone who gets that she just needs a friend.

And there's nothing more to it

He just cares so much he's devoted

     She feels so compelled to insist that there’s nothing beyond platonic friendship here. In some versions she sounds almost frantic to point out that there’s nothing more to it. He cares about her. He’s devoted to his queen. So that means that there’s no possible way he could want more. Men who care about her don’t want or expect more from her. She’s pacing the stage, pointing at people in the audience. At “And there’s nothing more to it,” Parr and Seymour put hands on her shoulder and she quickly shrugs them off without acknowledging it. She can’t acknowledge it, because she finally has a friend. He can’t want anything else from her. He can’t.

He says we have a connection

     At this point the music stops. The other queens surround her and grab her arms, her legs, her shoulders, her chest. She’s just frozen in the web of hands touching her from every direction. She just freezes for several seconds, doing nothing to fight the hands on her. Because she’s at the most secure and powerful she’s ever been and could ever be, and it’s not enough. 

I thought this time was different

Why did I think he'd be different?

But it's never, ever different

     The hands stay on her through most of this, and she mostly just stands there. Her voice goes from shock/disappointment in “I thought this time was different” to self-deprecating at “Why did I think he’d be different?” to fury at “But it’s never, ever different” to the point where she pretty much screams the last word. It’s not that she’s only just realizing now what’s been happening to her. She’s known. She’s known this entire time. She begins the song by telling the audience that “I was young, its true, but even then I knew.” It’s that now, she can’t lie to herself about any of it anymore. Because even if she knew that Thomas wanted sex from her, she also knew that he couldn’t do anything, because she’s the queen. If he tried anything, he’d be dead. He can’t touch her, so she can say that he’s just her friend and shrug off the moments where he suggests otherwise like she shrugs off Parr and Seymour’s hands initially.

     But now, apparently even that doesn’t protect her. Even being married to one of the most powerful men in the world, a man who has already beheaded men for supposedly sleeping with his wife, isn’t enough to protect her from every single man that wants to put his hands on her and assault her and abuse her. They’re going to do it no matter what, because its never different. Not even for the queen.

'Cause all you wanna do

All you wanna do baby

Is touch me, when will enough be enough?

See

All you wanna do

All you wanna do baby

Squeeze me, don't care if you don't please me

Bite my lip and pull my hair

As you tell me I'm the fairest of the fair

 Playtime's over

Playtime's over

Playtime's over

 The only thing

The only thing

The only thing you wanna do is...

      I’m just going to cover all of this at once. Howard is still stuck in the same spot. Her voice is some combination of screaming, crying, and singing, and she’s constantly being grabbed by the queens and either trying to push them off of her or waiting for them to let go. She goes back to the pronoun “you,” finally putting Thomas among all those other men and the audience, and she’s screaming. She’s furious, she’s finally accepted that she can’t accept this, that “you” don’t want to love her, just touch her constantly. You just want to squeeze her and pull her hair and hurt her to please yourself, and you don’t care how she feels about it. You’ll say kind things to her while you’re hurting her, as if that’s supposed to make it better. It just makes you feel better. 

     Then she’s on the ground, and all the queens are facing her, surrounding her and gradually stepping closer and closer as they sing “Playtime’s over” at her. Because its over, and its not just that she’ll be tossed aside again. Everything is over now, because of what men have done to her. Her life is over, as she literally is going to be beheaded because of everything that happened to her. Katherine Howard was either 18 or 19 years old when she was beheaded because men have been sexually assaulting her for years, and it was only acknowledged when they decided to condemn her to death for it.

     After every version of this song that I’ve seen and listened to, there is a moment of shocked silence from the audience before they’ll start applauding. They’re startled by this turn in the song. They don’t expect Howard to start screaming at them or to start crying or to have this strong of an emotional reaction. Yet, they’ve been watching the whole time. They’ve been seeing everything that’s happened to her and listening to everything she’s said. And they have been listening and seeing because they’ve been laughing at her jokes and responding to her comments. The audience, or you, laughed at her jokes when she was making light of her sexual assaults. She has been making sure for the entire show that you were paying attention to her. You knew what was happening. And you just kept watching, shocked when at the end it got that dramatic.

     If you were wondering why Howard makes the audience a part of the collective “you” that includes Manox, Francis, Henry, and Thomas, this is why. Because they may not have been doing the acts these men did, but they just sat there and watched as it happened, pretending--like Howard--that this it could have been consensual acts and that those jokes were funny. If those who knew from the beginning that it wasn’t ok just watched and did nothing to get in the way or help, they may not be these men, but they allowed the men to abuse her.

     Howard does everything she can to endear herself to the audience and make herself noticed throughout the entire show, in preparation for her song. And by the time it gets to her song, they love her. They’re listening to her and interacting with her and noticing her, seeing everything she’s doing. And they still don’t stop what happens to her. So even if they don’t actually want to assault and hurt her, they might as well because it’s happening, they know it’s happening, and they did nothing.

     Now am I saying that the audience is actually, literally complicit in this. No, obviously not; this is a musical. But the audience is a stand in more or less for everyone else that had to have seen what was going on and did nothing to prevent it from getting to the point where Howard’s head was on the chopping block. But the audience is meant to feel complicit because there were people complicit in letting these men abuse her, just like there are people complicit in letting abusers and rapists get away with it to this day. Her step grandmother did nothing to watch her when around Francis. Her family did nothing to watch her when around Manox and they placed her in the position where Henry would take notice of her. People laughed at Howard’s “different times back then” joke because they know that this still happens today, and she knows that they know. So, what are people doing when they see it going on? Just pretending not to notice? Still? Howard, like so many others, is a victim of not just the men who assaulted her, but the societal structures that think its better to let one girl be hurt and killed than it is to upset the power structure or punish the powerful, important men who abuse that girl.

    Katherine Howard was a young girl. In Six, she just wants people to love her, and loving her is not sexual. In Megasix, she changes the lyrics so that its:

All you wanna do

All you wanna do, baby's

Sing along to your favourite queen's song

All you wanna do

All you wanna do, baby

Love me, love me

She wants to be your favorite queen, and she wants you to love her. The part where she’s trying to endear herself to the audience has never been a lie. She wants to win the audience over. Because if there’s one thing Katherine Howard has never had, it’s an adoring crowd that will listen and support her and sing along with her and just love her without wanting anything else. She’s done sexualizing herself in an attempt to make her point or to win people over, now she’s just telling you to love her, because she realized that all she ever needed was friends. So, love her, take care of her, be her friend, and ensure there aren’t other Katherine Howards in the world, because there have been too many already.

[capricornus-rex]

Old Friend, New Family (5)

Requested by Anon | Prompt:

Hey I was wondering if you’d take a prompt where the reader is an ex-padawan who’s master died pretty early on in order 66, and was instead saved by a clone that removed his inhibitor chip. Then maybe they get separated, and years later when the reader is a crew member on the Mantis, they come across the clone again? How would the crew, especially Cal and Cere, react to meeting a friendly ex-soldier clone who’s close with the reader? Could you make it full of angst then fluff? Love your writing!

Tags: Defected! Clone Trooper, Jedi Survivor! Reader, Order 66 Survivor

Also posted in AO3

Chapters: 1 – 2 – 3 | Previous: Part 4 | Next: Part 6 | Masterlist

5 of ?

The leader casually greeted the man where that familiar voice belonged to.

When the owner of the voice stepped out of the shadows to join you in the veranda, he’s clad in the same armaments and outfit as the others, even though he’s fully armored, you know that face anywhere.

The pack went into the bay and started collecting the supplies, meanwhile, you’re frozen on where you stood, staring at the man who never came back home to you.

“Strig…” you uttered.

The man turned to the call of his name, your stomach sank when he did. It is him.

His calm demeanor shifted in the blink of an eye—his casual smile melted, his eyebrows furrowed, and then his lips parted only to release soundless words. He removed his helmet, as if that was going to help him take a better look at you.

Nothing much has changed in him except for the growth of his faded haircut has grayed out, it appears he decided to keep the goatee and lost the stubble that followed his jaw, and his head tattoo is still visible but the ink’s opacity has thinned out. Nicks and scars etched his face over time, slightly pink flesh disturbed the tan skin—they were the words to an explanation that you yearned to hear directly from him.

Nevertheless, you can recognize that face anywhere.

The two of approached one another, unable to speak even though there so many things that you wanted to tell to him all this time. Strig examined you from head to toe. In his eyes, only your height has changed.

“Look how big you’ve gotten…” he cracked.

The sound of his voice made your heart skip a beat again. You cannot determine what emotion is churning in your heart right now.

Is it anger?

Is it joy?

Are you going to hug him?

Or punch him in the stomach?

Frankly, you have no idea what to do next.

“Well, go on…” Strig was nearing to a sob. “Say something.”

“You’re alive…” you barely moved your mouth.

Strig somewhat understood your words; he hung his head low, sighing as his shifted back and forth, avoiding your gaze. He wanted to explain everything to you, but now isn’t exactly the best time.

You didn’t say anything more. You simply threw yourself into his arms and the tears could no longer be contained the moment you felt Strig’s arms wrap around you.

The clone felt like a great burden has been taken out of his chest. Seeing you alive was perhaps the best thing that has ever happened to him since. His thumb ran across your cheeks, wiping away the tears rolling down from your eyes.

“Hey, don’t let them see the tough girl cry,” Strig cooed.

You sniffled and wiped the tears still stained your face, “I have so much to tell you…”

“Do you know each other?” Adrina politely cuts in when Strig was about to speak to you.

“Hey there, Adrina, I see you’ve met [y/n],”

“Yeah, she just got here. She’s helping out in retrieving the supplies, Saw’s orders,”

“Did you now?” Strig chuckled, an upward curl played along the corner of his mouth.

Adrina asked for help in collecting the containers filled with the medical supplies they badly need for the people back at the landing pad. The queue acted almost mechanical, passing one container to the next until it reaches the person waiting by the railings—Strig’s faction at the bay have improvised a pulley, knowing that another group will come to fetch the supplies.

When you were down to the last box, Strig tapped your shoulder before you prepared yourself to rappel down the supply containment bay.

“Hey, kid,”

“Yeah?”

“See you at the landing pad later?”

“Sure,” you beamed a smile. “You owe an explanation after all!”

You slipped down the rappel cord before Strig could respond to that.

Before following Adrina and the pack, you looked back once more and saw him leaning against the railing, you both waved goodbye for now to each other and went back to your duties.

“How did you come to know Strig?” Adrina began.

“He’s the one who saved my life,” you smiled privately. “When no one else could.”

Adrina narrates that she has known Strig only for a short time and knows only little. In turn, you tell your side of the story about him. However, you were cautious enough to not disclose the part that he is a clone, although, you’re already under the presumption that maybe Strig himself has told everyone in the faction.

Luckily, the young partisan didn’t go into much detail.

“You two seem very close, even after being so far apart for so long,”

“Yeah, you could say that,”

Eventually, the pack had trouble in crossing the path blocked by the wrecked AT-AT.

“Oh no, how do we get across with all this baggage?” one of the partisans exclaimed.

You set down the container you were holding and studied the walker closely. The legs would be too heavy for you to carry—even if you used the Force—and you surveyed your surroundings to see if there’s anything you can work with.

“I have an idea!” you chirped.

You scaled the body of the walker and sat on the flat surface there, high enough for you to see both sides of the path, and then you focused on the box that you put down on the ground; you extend your arm, focusing your concentration on the object until it started to rattle by itself—startling the partisans—until the box is now floating right in front of them, your action received murmurs and gasps as a reaction but it was typical. Motioning your hand to the side, the box vault over the AT-AT’s leg-and-shoulder joint.

“Everyone, vault over the AT-AT first and I’ll lift the boxes to you. Sound good?”

The group liked your idea, without a moment’s hesitation, they crawled over the gigantic metal quadruped, afterwards, you do the exact same thing that you demonstrated seconds ago. Eventually, everybody got the loot back in their hands and marched towards the landing pad, some of them came sprinting towards the area.

Your box was the last one to transfer over, when you gingerly put it down on the other side, you buckled your knees and slid down the iron giant. Adrina took a few paces ahead but still waited for you.

“That was great thinking back there, [y/n]!”

“Oh, it’s nothing, just became creative is all,”

“Being a Jedi sure must be cool!”

“Oh, uh,” you stammered. “I suppose so. It had its ups and downs.”

Oh sweetie, if only you knew what really went down for ALL of us back then. Your subconscious couldn’t help but ring that in your head, instead, you pretended that that was the exact thing you told Adrina.

Upon arriving to the landing pad, it seems that Cal surely has taken his time with Saw Gerrera and the other partisans. Continuing with your current task, you and Adrina stash the containers filled with medical supplies. Mirienna helped in receiving the supplies along with the other medics.

“Is this everything from the bay?” asked the woman.

“Yes, I just a radio call from the other squadron, they’re sweeping the other supply bay as we speak,” Adrina reported.

“Good, all the wounded should pull through for tonight,”

“What about the Wookiees? Will there be enough for them too?” you add.

“The second supply run should have enough to cover the Wookiees once they’ve been liberated by Saw,” Mirienna replied.

“I can stay here and help some more,” you offered.

“That’d be splendid, [y/n], thank you,” Mirienna replied with her warm tone.

Eventually, Strig—along with his faction—regrouped at the landing bay, dispersing as soon as each soldier went to different points of interest. You rejoined Strig by the lower platform of the hangar. He threw his thumb over his shoulder, pointing at the wrecked AT-AT.

“Did you do that?”

“Frankly, I wish it was me,”

“Who then?”

Strig saw the way your eye shift to your right. It was your mannerism.

“I know that look, Spinner,” his eyebrow flicked upward. “Eyes to the right mean you’re not telling me something… for now.”

Even three years later, he still memorized every little habit—good or bad—that you had. After all, he still had the mind of a clone—with most of the learning programs intact in his brain. The mention of his personal nickname for you made your ears prick and caused a little smirk.

“You still remember the nickname?”

“How could I forget? You were always the one sending your starfighter spinning through aerial assaults it makes me dizzy just by looking at ya!”

“Master Karos always scolded me whenever I do—even if I survived!” you beamed back.

The two of you share a hearty laugh rooted by inside jokes and fond memories, albeit brief. Your joint attention turned to the bustle happening around the landing pad—medics sprint from one side to the other, able-bodied soldiers carry their comrades and lay them down on the makeshift cots.

“Work never ends here,”

“Just like the old times, huh?”

“Yeah, except that one part,”

“We don’t talk about that one part,”

“Right.” Strig purred, ending the banter.

[starryeyedastro]

Forecast ~ Week of September 13th 2020

🚀 This is a general forecast of the current planetary transits. To see how they will affect you personally, check your natal chart to see which houses (areas of your life) they fall in, or if they’re aspecting your angles or natal planets.

Remember that these are just quick run-downs/summaries of the energies present and not necessarily things that will happen to you.

What’s going on?

September 12th - Jupiter Stations Direct

September 14th - Sun Trine Pluto

September 15th - Venus Square Uranus

September 16th - Mercury Square Jupiter

September 17th - New Moon in Virgo, Sun Trine Saturn

September 19th - Mercury Square Pluto

♃ ➡️ September 13th - Jupiter Stations Direct 17 degrees Capricorn

Have you been having flashbacks about what you were doing back in February? That was when Jupiter was at 17 degrees Capricorn the first time around. It will retrace its steps back to December 6th (27 degrees Cap, when it went Rx) and then move on into Aquarius on December 19th. After December 6th, we will be moving into new territory, so up until then you can take action with your new beliefs, newfound optimism, and other things involving Jupiter in Capricorn.

During Jupiter’s Rx, we were able to reconsider whether or not our traditions and existing systems are still conducive to our success. Jupiter Rx is an inner journey of how we feel about our beliefs, our belief in ourselves as well as our religion or spirituality if you have one, and if these beliefs are still relevant. When Jupiter goes direct, the inward journey turns outward again, and it’s time to put our new convictions into practice.

You might feel very different about your own ambitious plans, because of what you’ve seen and experienced since February. A new work ethic could have been developed during this time, or a new way of looking at work and how we create our own success. This would take place on a personal level, but also coincide with how we’re connected as a group. 

Maybe you’ve developed plans to make things better for yourself and/or others. The Jupiter in Capricorn “luck” is very realistic and favors taking the initiative. It says, ‘Keep your eyes on the prize and keep going.’ Now that Jupiter is stationing direct, get ready to put these things into practice.

💪 September 14th - Sun Trine Pluto Rx (22 degrees Virgo and Capricorn)

It's a great time to take control over your own life, or figure out how you’re going to do so. It will be easier for you to use your own inner power to change things for the better. Pluto is Rx, which means this will first be formulated indirectly or within yourself. This is about self empowerment. This aspect has been building since the 6th, is exact today but will exert influence until the 19th.

Personal experiences can be very profound and sow the seeds for intense but positive changes. This is the most harmonious aspect, but this is still Pluto we’re talking about, so these changes can still be preceded by a loss or a crisis -- ‘it’s always darkest before dawn’. You will need to step out of your comfort zone first. 

It will be easier to analyze and think critically (Sun Virgo) about hidden influences (Pluto) within societal structures and career (Capricorn) but you’ll need to make a conscious effort to direct it in the way you want. Even though a trine is an easy aspect, it will work better if you don’t take it for granted and use it wisely.

Find ways to get rid of things you no longer need, any extra baggage that might be holding you back from claiming your power. You can more easily make a good impression on people in authority over you, or with powerful people who can help you. This is also a great time to practice or research subjects like divination, astrology and magic that can help you empower yourself.

🤷 September 15th - Venus Square Uranus Rx (10 degrees Leo and Taurus)

The potential for unexpected events with social life and relationships of all kinds. Since this is a square between two fixed signs, the more inflexible and stubborn you are, the worse it will be. You will need to stay open minded and go with the flow. We felt this aspect building since the 13th, exact today, and will exert its influence until the 17th.

People can act entirely out of character. Those who are usually steady and reliable (Taurus) in relationships could do something unreliable, irresponsible, or just something you didn’t see coming. We could also see lots of drama (Leo) from these unexpected actions. 

Potential to get impatient with others, or seek new excitement with different people. Any new relationship that is started now will most likely turn out to be a short fling.

There could be potential to feel the need to drastically change your look. You might get the sudden urge to change your hair or try a new fashion. Think carefully before you act on sudden whims. It would be wise to wait until after this aspect is gone to see if you still want to.

⚖️ September 16th - Mercury Square Jupiter (17 degrees Libra and Capricorn)

Your mind is on the big picture, but don’t overlook the details. There is a danger of glossing over the needs and opinions of others (Mercury in Libra) in the optimistic pursuit of our ambitions (Jupiter in Capricorn). This has been building since the 13th, exact today, exerting influence until 18th.

Mercury in Libra will be triggered by any overstepping from Jupiter in Capricorn. Jupiter could get too cocky or presumptive, which could cause problems with our need for balance, fairness and justice. This can magnify issues of imbalance, bigotry and the tendency for bad judgement.

Resist the urge to make grand promises that you can’t keep -- be realistic and fair. We could want to keep the peace to a degree that some people won’t want to stand up for themselves or others, but the opposite can happen where we will not want to make any kind of compromise. These two sides of the scale can be at odds during this transit, tipping from one extreme to the other.

🔎 September 17th - New Moon in Virgo (25 degrees Virgo), Sun Trine Saturn (25 degrees Virgo and Capricorn)

The new moon in Virgo is supported in a trine to Saturn, Jupiter and Pluto in Capricorn. New moon intentions that you set now will grow exponentially as long as you put in the conscious effort and do your part to make your vision a reality.

You can more easily focus on and improve certain things in your life. Can you create a step by step plan of action to help you turn your vision into reality, or make improvements? This will help a lot because of all the Capricorn energy here. This is an earth trine, so think in terms of realism, priorities and concrete results.

Clear out the old to make way for the new. Just pay close attention so you don’t get so caught up in throwing things away that you get rid of important things that you still need (due to Mercury square Jupiter) Organize and take stock of what you have, as well as your abilities. 

⚔️ September 19th - Mercury Square Pluto (22 degrees Libra and Capricorn)

There can be a clash between two extremes here, caused by established systems/government in power. Exerting control can cause a split and arguments will be the result. People with extreme points of view will want to press their agenda and their ideas on others. This transit will exert influence until around the 24th, but anything that is put into motion now will have far reaching effects.

The best way to deal with this transit is to smile and nod, but still do what you were going to do anyway. There’s no point in arguing with other people right now, because most people are unwilling to listen to other points of view.

You can try to take the high road and consider another point of view, but it will be hard because other points of view can just be too extreme or harmful. All you can do is speak your truth and adhere to your own morals/code of ethics.

Watch out for becoming overly defensive of your point of view. The more extreme your reactions to others, the more resistance you’ll get. Don’t let yourself get backed into a corner, and stay calm. Don’t let them see you get angry. We can learn a lot about improving our communication skills, the art of persuasion and debate, and looking at things from the opposition point of view.

We’re being forced to face our shadow as a society (Pluto in Capricorn) and with a Mercury square, we have to acknowledge it and sort it out. But this transit is also good for investigating, finding the truth in the core of the issues that will eventually blow the cover on the unfortunate reality. This is something that has to happen in order for us to change things for the better.

Thanks for reading! I’ll be back next week with more. If you like my forecasts, feel free to send me a ko-fi donation. Any and all support, moral or monetary is appreciated. 🖤

[orderglucoflow0]

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how you can cure all forms of diabetes naturally in thirty days

[ckret2]

And I got so into writing out that Worst Case Scenario last night I forgot to mention my second misgiving with the whole damn prompt, which AS IT HAPPENS covers some headcanons I've been meaning to bring up AND is relevant to a prompt coming up in my list that I am gonna write, so I'm gonna devote a post to this:

The very scenario "x character gets upset over y character CHEATING!!!" is based on the presumption that, like... the characters give a shit.

In the case of Rodorah, it assumes that two giant animals, one of which is an alien, both:

1) are familiar with the concept of monogamy as humans understand it

2) believe in and adhere to the concept of monogamy as humans understand it

3) consider dating or banging anyone outside their relationship a breach of trust in regards to said monogamy

4) would have the exact same emotional reaction as a human to said breach of trust

Which is a lot of assumption to put on a dinosaur and a dragon. And also anyone who dates Ghidorah is automatically in a polyamorous relationship so monogamy is kinda out the window right from the get go, you know?

So I'm gonna dig into why all those assumptions are unnecessary to assume. Half based on canon and half covering fic headcanons.

Gonna go out on a limb and assume that we don't know anything worth discussing about the mating habits of pteranodons; but Monsterverse Rodan's also got a lot of bird in him, so let's go with that. Lots of birds are socially monogamous, but not sexually monogamous. What that means is that once two birds are committed to each other—went down to bird city hall and signed their bird marriage license, exchanged tiny bird rings, whatever birds do—they've committed to sharing a nest and splitting egg-guarding and child-rearing duties in that nest. They HAVEN'T committed to only screwing each other. Depending on the species, 10% to 33% of the eggs in the nest could have a different genetic father than the male bird in that couple. (And some even have a different genetic mother, which boggles my mind. Like did she fly all the way over to someone else's nest just to lay the egg like "I don't wanna deal with this one thanks" and they're like "that's fine have a nice day"? I'm sure that's not how it works but the thought amuses me.)

Operating by that definition, Rodan's image of "totally committed and faithful" would be "there's only one person whom I split daily chores with, and I can have kids with anyone."

(Some bird species are both sexually and socially monogamous... but then, some bird species also are only committed to one partner for one breeding season, then break up and commit to a new partner next year. There's variation, is the point—and more than that, "you can't logically assume that a species like this is going to be sexually/socially monogamous for life the way humans idealize" is the bigger point.)

The fact that Rodan's species, like all titan species, seems to be in a perpetual state of "less than two dozen deaths away from total extinction" would actually select against sexual monogamy, because a species that goes "I'm not having kids with anyone except my one true love. Who died a century ago," is gonna go extinct a lot faster than a species that goes "boy won't my one true love be excited when she hears about the prime real estate me and Ms. Krakatoa found to lay our eggs in."

And I've established in prior headcanons that because parents might die long before their kids are born and because volcanoes act as natural fortresses/incubators for eggs, Rodan's species doesn't share nests, doesn't need to protect or incubate eggs, and doesn't rear their young—so what would social monogamy even entail for them? It doesn't need to entail much of anything, if they even subscribe to it at all.

Ghidorah's species is alien so there's no need to try to compare them to their "nearest related species on Earth" because they aren't related to any species on Earth. But, if we're gonna use Earth species as a framework off of which to base their headcanons anyway: dorats/Ghidorahs, when taken all together, are like 50% snake, 30% cat, and 20% bat.

Snakes are the least monogamous bunch of animals you could ask for. During mating season, males and females both have multiple partners, females can lay eggs from multiple fathers in one clutch, and most species don't even bother incubating their eggs. (In the few that do, the mother does that without a partner.)

Domestic cats are into gang bangs. When a female cat is in heat, she will yowl to attract as many male cats in the area as possible. When a male cat wants some, he'll yowl in hopes a female cat in heat will zip over. They'll mate with multiple cats in a row, loitering around watching while they wait for their turn. They'll mate with whoever shows up. They'll mate with their own relatives. Cats don't care. Cats are gross. Get your cats fixed.

Most bats will have multiple partners. Some bats are polygamous—one or two dudes with a collection of multiple female partners. In both of these cases, males don't help rear the young. A few bats are monogamous and share parenting duties—but these are the minority.

So Ghidorah's most closely related species are three counts of "I don't care who you screw, I don't care who I screw, once a year there's like a month where anyone could screw anyone else at any time and nobody is safe. I'll screw you and then I'll screw a space chicken cyborg and then I'll screw myself, watch, I'm flexible."

One hopes they're a bit more selective than that, but those are the nearest Earth analogues we're starting with as our basis for their species.

Based just on that, between Ghidorah and Rodan, if one of them is gonna be fussed about the other having additional partners—sexual, romantic, or otherwise—odds are it ain't gonna be Ghidorah. Ghidorah's gonna be the clueless alien trying to figure out what weird Earth etiquette rule he broke while Rodan's upset—assuming Rodan cares either.

So beyond Earth animals: what's been established about dorats so far is that they live in big groups with multiple aeries. The basic dorat social unit is a flock (30-200 adults), not a nest (1-2 adults). Since they communally share nests, eggs from multiple parents will end up in the same pile, and so it's likely no one gives a damn about who's had kids with who. (And—although I haven't gotten into dorat reproduction yet—eggs are laid immediately after mating, so it's impossible to have dubious paternity in a dorat mating—which IRL, aside from "doubling the amount of parents looking after these kids," is one of the driving factors of monogamy in the wild.)

The Xilien military HAS witnessed aggression based on sexual jealousy between adolescent dorats, enough so that they think it's a threat to their experiments. The Xilien military is locking up dorats in cages and experimentally fusing them together. The Xilien military is not observing dorats in their natural habitat. The actual dorat breeder is absolutely horrified to hear of dorats behaving like that, because it's a sign of extreme stress and trauma. Viciously competing for mates and chasing off other potential sexual partners, therefore, is abnormal for dorats.

Using Ghidorah as they are now as an example of what dorats are like is dicey, since they've lived such a strange life and so much of their psychology is shaped by trauma—buuut, it's evident from them that dorats can feel romantic love, but we don't know what function it would've had among normal dorats. Maybe it's supposed to be a temporary thing that fades after a mating season, maybe it's supposed to encourage a few members of one flock to latch on to members of another flock and move as a means to discourage stagnation in the genetic pool of a single flock, maybe its primary purpose has nothing to do with driving reproduction but rather is supposed to strengthen social bonds between members of this naturally empathic species...

So the presence of romantic feelings doesn't inherently correlate with monogamy, or a desire for monogamy, or sexual/romantic exclusivity, or sexual/romantic jealousy...

So add all that together and what do you get. Of the two of them, Rodan is more likely to have a natural and/or cultural inclination toward any sort of monogamy than Ghidorah is, and even at that it's most likely to be romantic monogamy than sexual monogamy. Ghidorah's the one more likely to assume against exclusivity from the outside. However: to the original premise, if Ghidorah DID find out Rodan had taken another sexual partner (and let's be frank, it would be sexual because nobody in this fandom is writing a damn thing about infidelity plots that don't eventually fall back on "o noez Rodan screwed someone he shouldn't have," even when romance IS involved it boils down to sex, and yeah it's always Rodan—)

That parenthetical went on a bit of a tangent. Anyway if Ghidorah found out Rodan had taken another sexual partner, there'd be three possible reactions:

1) The LEAST likely: as in the potential scenario yesterday written on the "okay, let's assume that cheating is a thing for them" assumption: an apocalypse with a potential side of murder/suicide. In order for something like that to happen, Ghidorah's experiences on Earth would have to have pushed them into full Despite All My Rage I Am Still Just A Dorat In A Cage mode. Their baseline mental state is at about 45% on the "stressed caged dorat" meter. Right now they're hovering around 30% and gradually dropping. Being an enslaved war machine kept them at a steady 75%. They'd need to be at like 90% before they started flipping their shit over romantic jealousy. To get them to that level of stress, they'd need to be getting constantly harassed by Godzilla and human military units, psychically bombarded by Mothra, and on top of that probably getting gaslit to hell and back by Rodan re: their relationship status so they couldn't be confident of where they stood with him—and that leads into the other factor that's necessary for this scenario to happen. Rodan would need to 1) insist to Ghidorah that he's the only one Rodan's got any sort of sexual/romantic involvement with, and 2) convince him that the stability and continued existence of their relationship is predicated upon Rodan being interested in only Ghidorah. They'd need to be specifically convinced of these things first in order to feel lied to/betrayed if Rodan had a relationship of any kind with someone else, because they wouldn't naturally assume either of them.

Since we've got no evidence Rodan is a raging abusive asshole who would go out of his way to convince an ignorant alien that their happiness is dependent upon Rodan being exclusive and then go off and not be exclusive, this scenario isn't happening.

2) Actually likely scenario, bad outcome: Rodan comes home and Ghidorah asks where he's been all day and he goes, oh yeah, he found another member of his species today, they're gonna try to make eggs, it's great—because to Rodan that's no big deal, that's normal, he's got absolutely no reason not to tell his mate that he's banging another bird. Ghidorah gets nervous solely because they DON'T know what's normal here. They don't know whether monogamy or polyamory is the norm for Earth in general or Rodan in particular. Are they still a thing or is this Rodan's way of saying the relationship's run its course and he's moved on? Was he always planning to move on once someone of his own species became available? Was he expecting Ghidorah to expect that? Because they did expect that, they've always feared they were just a temporary substitute for a more desirable partner, they just didn't know if they were supposed to expect that. At which point they go "oh" and Rodan goes "'oh' what?" and they go "so is that it then?" and he goes "is what it?" and they actually communicate for thirty seconds and everything's fine. So hey the bad outcome isn't even bad. It probably just takes them a month to have that conversation while Ghidorah invents mental worst case scenarios.

3) Actually likely scenario, good outcome: Rodan comes home and Ghidorah asks where he's been all day and he goes, oh yeah, he found another member of his species today, they're gonna try to make eggs— And Ghidorah goes EXCUSE US if they're in a relationship with him and he's in a relationship with her then that means they and he and she are all part of the same flock and they are DEEPLY offended that he hasn't brought her by to meet them yet, come on, go get her, they need to know what she looks like so they don't accidentally get in a fight with her if they see her in Rodan's territory. Also they need to know where her volcano is so they can get their scent all over it.

[bloodtroth]

Could you do Snapdragon flower? :)

A/N: I’m very sorry anon that it took this long. I got hit with a very strong depressive episode, and I was basically no use at anything. Apologies and I hope that you like it.

Also on AO3!

Snapdragon symbolises graciousness and strength. Its negative connotations include deception and presumption.

Albus was leaning against a wooden desk, his hands on his pockets as he patiently waited for his host to arrive. He looked out of the window, his eyes sweeping over the harsh mountainous landscape. His eyes lingered on the grey clouds that indicated that a storm was on the horizon. The dim, grey light filtering through them made the surrounding mountains look more desolate, more unforgiving than they actually were.

His eyes twitched as he finally heard the door creak open, but Albus did not move from his seat by the window nor give any indication that he had noticed the door opening. He heard the footsteps stop as the man who had just entered registered his presence.

“Albus.”

Turning around at the sound of his name, Albus let out a soft greeting, “Hello, Gellert.”

He ran his eyes down Gellert’s body, cataloguing what small changes he could see, paying note to the wand that was peeking out of his sleeve, ready to be pulled out at a moment’s notice. Albus cocked an eyebrow at the sight, making Gellert flash a quick smile and ruefully raise his hands. Turning around, Gellert lay his hand on the door and pushed it softly closed behind him. When he was facing Albus again, he did a similar sweep of his body, his gaze lingering around his hips, a flash of heat flashing through his eyes. Albus shifted slightly under his gaze but otherwise contained his reaction to being so blatantly ogled.

This was not what he was here for.

Gellert’s eyes flickered back up to his face, his expression unreadable once more. He started slowly moving towards him, his hands held loosely behind his back.

“So, tell me, my dear, what do I owe the pleasure of your company?” Gellert asked, a hint of bitterness seeping through the light tone of his voice, “Are you here to gloat, perhaps?”

“I’m here to ask you to stop,” Albus replied evenly.

Gellert scoffed.

Albus got up from the desk and grasped his arm. “I’m serious, Gellert. Last chance.”

Gellert narrowed his eyes at him but did not take back his arm. “You know very well I won’t do that,” he said as he slid his arm away from Albus’ grasp and took hold of his hand instead, twining their fingers together. Looking at their entwined hands with a small frown, his thumb caressing the skin of Albus’ hand, he continued, “You have our pact now. All you need to do is to find a way to break it.” Slowly, he reeled Albus in until their chests were touching. Tilting his head, he breathed into Albus’ ear, “But you don’t wish to, do you?”

When Albus’ arm gave a slight twitch as if he was considering pulling it away, Gellert tightened his grip. Lifting his other hand, he ran it through Albus’ hair, his thumb caressing his scalp soothingly. Soon Albus found himself relaxing against him.

“Oh, my dear, how I wish you would come with me,” Gellert whispered, his moustache tickling Albus’ ear, “Together we could reshape the world in our image. There would be no more hiding. No more children abused and abandoned.”

Albus broke from Gellert’s grasp, snatching away his hand. “Save your speeches to your followers, Gellert. I know you too well.”

“Apologies”, Gellert said, bowing his head in concession, “but I do mean it.” Clasping Albus’ hand again, his eyes shining with contained emotion, he desperately pleaded, “Come with me. Come with me, and no one has to die.”

Albus smiled wistfully, “There are no bloodless revolutions, Gellert. Someone always dies. And I have found it is not a price I am willing to pay.”

His eyes flashing in irritation, Gellert huffed out, “If you are not here to join me or convince me to stop, then what are you here for?” His eyes narrowed as he considered him. Flashing a smirk, he grasped Albus by the waist and ground their hips together, “Perhaps this?”

Albus breath hitched, and he halfheartedly tried pushing Gellert away, “Gellert. Stop it,” he hissed between his teeth.

“You don’t wish me to,” Gellert purred, nuzzling the skin behind Albus’s ear.

Sighing, Albus’ hands came to rest on his chest. “Just this once.”

Gellert smirked against his neck. “Of course, my dear.”

                                                      -------

Albus slid from under the covers, casting a silencing spell under his breath. Quickly locating his clothes, he pulled them back on. Stopping for a moment, he looked down on Gellert’s sleeping form that hadn’t so much as stirred from Albus’s movements. Reaching out a hand, Albus brushed away the little curls from Gellert’s forehead.

Albus’ heart gave a painful squeeze. He looked peaceful. It was when Gellert was asleep that he most reminded Albus of the youth of sixteen that he had met that fateful summer.

Albus caressed his hair gently for a while longer, before he reached into his pocket and dug out a vial of purple potion. Uncorking it, he dipped his finger into it and brought the finger above Gellert’s lips. A drop of the potion slid down, making Gellert unconsciously lick his lips and swallow it. Albus waited for a moment, waiting for the potion to take effect. When Gellert’s sleeping body relaxed, becoming almost boneless, Albus retreated his hand and took hold of Gellert’s arm that was laying over the covers, turning it, so it was facing him. Pulling on his gloves, he took another potion from his pocket and spread a small dollop on the exposed skin. The potion rippled for a moment before fading away.

Next, Albus drew out a small knife and an empty potion vial from his breast pocket. Dragging the knife across Gellert’s arm in a short cut before putting it back into his pocket, Albus held the bottle under the wound, pinching the skin around the wound to make the blood flow faster. After a few seconds, he deemed the amount enough and lay his hand across the injury, healing it as he did so. Corking the filled vial, Albus put it in his pocket as well.

Albus took a moment longer to watch Gellert, trying to burn his peacefully sleeping visage into memory. Next time they met, it would be across a battlefield. His actions today would make sure of that. Unable to resist, he bent over and lay a small kiss on Gellert’s forehead. Breathing out a shaky breath, he inhaled Gellert’s scent and desperately tried not to cry.

This would be the last time he would meet him like this. For this time tomorrow, their pact would be broken.

This time tomorrow, there would be no turning back.

[corvid-420]

I feel that i need to ask this because i am conflicted. Is what you are calling for the obliteration fo the american people or the destruction of what can be considered the unified imperialist american identity. Do you wish them dead or simply that they no longer be a part of the united states of america and instead a part of their own communal identity.

This sounds like a remix of the old conversation, “so you want to put white people in FEMA camps, or what do you mean by being anti-racist.” you’re more committed in saving your identity than doing anything worthwhile for anybody else.

Yet you yourself put it best: “the destruction of what can be considered the unified imperialist american identity.” The American motto is “e pluribus unum”, meaning, “out of many, one.” Americans don’t know what their identity is, that emerges out of their internal contradictions. In other words, they’re always fighting over who will be considered part of their unified imperialist identity and who the other is that needs to be purged or subjugated.

I said you put it best, but still inadequately, because 1.) there’s nothing to destroy because there’s no such thing as an ‘american identity’ anyway and 2.) you showed your hand with, “Do you wish them dead or simply that they no longer be a part of the united states of america and instead a part of their own communal identity.“

How did you show your hand? By revealing the tacit presumption that your goal isn’t to end oppression or whatever. you’ve revealed your goal is to save America from what you perceive to be an aberrant element that’s leading it astray. I admire your lofty goal, but it can’t be saved, at least not forever. The USA is subject to the same natural laws of having a beginning, a middle, and an end.

Reagan began the countdown almost 40 years ago when he declared his presidency would be, “morning in America.” Is Trump the dimming twilight, or a fiery afternoon sun? Nobody knows yet, but what any reasonable person can say for certain - Americans themselves, what with their “death and taxes” proverb - is that the sun will inevitably set on the US.  

The inevitable fate that befalls us as individuals also awaits cities, nations, dynasties and empires. The day shall come when holy troy shall fall, and priam, and the people of priam, with goodly spear of ash.

[For any of you illiterate swine looking to call me out as whatever you’d like, that’s me quoting Polybius quoting Scipio Africanus paraphrasing Homer as he watched Carthage burn at his command; have fun with that.]

tl; dr - the point is to provoke a shift in the discourse that goes beyond, “well human nature lol” or “wow we fail as a species” or “VOTE BLUE NO MATTER WHO.” just as this site helped foment the social justice discourse that has rotted in the hands of fascists like clinton, perhaps we can foment discourse on managing the convalescence of a dying empire.

and since americans understand only two languages - business and violence - alluding to their end by calling back to the Dresden firebombings they committed to, in their mythos, stop nazis from doing what they’re doing today, is more than reasonable.

and effective, based on the wildly outlandish reactions i’m getting from all two sides of its political spectrum.

[littlemisssquiggles]

Your posts have been quite the joy to read! Following up on that Oscar post, do you notice how timid Oscar is with Yang and how she, in turn, is so hostile? When they first break into the house, he's actively trying not to look at her. And when Yang says "Anything to get out of this house" she's practically shooting spiteful looks towards where Oscar is standing and it's clear she's actually saying "I want to get away from YOU." Our poor farmboy needs some more love.

HelloJade!I see you’re a fellow Jolteon enthusiast, yes? Very nice.

I’mhappy to hear that you enjoy my posts. Thank you so much for reading them! Toanswer your question: I didn’t notice Yang’s displaced hostility, at leasttowards Oscar but I do get what you mean. The more I rewatch the scenes withthe QROWMBY from V6 C5, the more I feel terrible for Oscar.

The poor farm boy needing some love is an understatement.Have you ever been among people where things are clearly not okay but ratherthan admitting that tension to yourself and succumbing to the loneliness of itsreality, you do the opposite? You create this defence mechanism where you pushpast the tension and attempt to reach out. You do little things like trying tojumpstart conversations with certain members or volunteer to give a helpinghand even if no one asked for your help. 

You try to include yourself. You forceyourself to try and fit in again because it’s the only thing that’s keeping youfrom falling apart and surrendering to the depressive thought that no one mightwant you around. Oscar’s behaviour with the group this last episode made methink this. I was actually expecting Oscar to become more withdrawn from the team after C4.

However instead he did the opposite or at least tried to and that was actually sadder to watch.

Oscarin V6 C5 was like watching a triangle tryingto fit in among a bunch of circles. He probably feels very misplaced aroundeveryone right now but he tries his best to fit in even if it meant twistinghis shape to fit that mould, if that makes sense. Oddly enough, I would havemuch preferred to watch depressed and socially withdrawn Oscar because Oscar trying to chum up a bit toeveryone with most of the team kind of ignoring him was sad.

Do you realize thatthe only person who showed Oscar a shred of decent human compassion thisepisode was Maria. This is great because at least it’s somebody y’knowwhat I mean and I like the dynamic they’re setting up between Maria and Oscar here. They’re technically the two outsiders in all this so it’ll be nice to see them bond more over the episodes. The Adventures of Pocket Abuelita and her surrogate freckled farm boy nieto. . 

ThroughoutC5,I noticed Oscar doing his best to sort of make things less apprehensive betweenhim (not Ozpin) and the QRWBY, timidly approaching everyone in small ways.

When Qrow busted thefront door open and everyone went in on guard, so did Oscar. As adorably silly and downright frightened he looked, Oscar joined theothers because, by my presumption, he did because that’s what his teammatesdid. With the exception of Maria whose sass could probably cut adamantium,Oscar mimicked the other’s movements to fit in.

Toshed light on what you brought up Jade, I did pick up Oscar and Yang kind ofexchanging awkward glances at each other here. Poor Oscar, he looks so nervous.

Anyways, after the group shut the door like Maria insisted, we next overhearOscar making a comment about the study in the Brunswick household. From what Isaw, Ruby stayed behind in the front hall to eyeball the Brunswick familyphotos while Weiss and Yang checked the upper quarters for blankets by Qrow’sorders. 

As the scene progressed, I noticed Oscar follow Blake or at least hewent in the same direction as Blake did so I assumed she was the one hewas with when the study was found. Not sure what happened to Qrow. He wasprobably somewhere else in the house with Maria.

Sothis possibly left Oscar with Blake to join her in checking out the study.

“Looks like astudy or…a library?”  Mybest guess is that Oscarprobably asked this out loud to Blake as a sort of conversation starter for thetwo at the time. Unfortunately, he got no response from the Faunus girl. Thenext time we see Blake, she’s with Ruby.

So…not only did Blake not answer Oscar’s open question but I presumed she left himbehind in the study to go talk to Ruby instead. That’s what it looks like here.I know this is just my interpretation and I could be reading too much intothings. However, it’s still sad when you think about it like that.

Iexpected things to be awkward with Oscar and the group but this episode definitelyhighlighted how tense it is for him with the others. What hurts even more isthat I think things are even awkward between Oscar and Ruby a little bit. I’m probably going to sound crazy whenI say this but…I think what Qrow said to the two teens last episode may haveaffected their rapport a bit. Last episode, we saw Ruby approach Oscar whenthings were still kind of cool between them.

Howeverin C5…I dunno. Maybe this is just my misinterpretation here but I couldn’t helpbut get the strange inkling that the two sort of…drifted apart from each other in this week’s episode. I found it odd that when Ruby was alone, Oscar never took thechance to approach her. And when Oscar was alone, Ruby never took the chance toapproach him either. Hmm…ok?

Even when they’renear each other, things don’t seem comfortable betweenthem at all. Look at this shot here of Ruby with Oscar from last episode (C4). 

Now compare it to the show below it of Ruby with Oscar in C5.

It’staken from the part when Ruby makes the suggestion to go look for supplies andOscar kind of chimes with support for idea. I’m going to put on my Overthinker cap when I say this but, the expression Ruby gave Oscarhere bothered me.Here is Oscar flashing Ruby a smile and theface she gives him in response to that doesn’t look like a comfortable face. Shedoesn’t return the smile. She just looks weird. I haven’t seen Ruby look this weird nextto Oscar since…the day they first met and she didn’t have a clue who he was.

I dunno but the airbetween them doesn’t feel or look comfortable anymore. The one time, they dosort of approach each other this single short episode, it just looks awkward. TheRuby and Oscar interactions in V6 C5 felt bumpy to me in the sense that it felta strangely off at moments. It is especially apparent in this scene.

It’sthe scene where everyone is seated in the study waiting for Qrow to return frommaking his scout of the farm. Right after Blake kindly placed a blanket over ashaken Weiss, the shot is then framed so that you get a full shot of RWOMBY.

Inobserving this scene, I noticed something. Pay special attention to Ruby and Oscar’s heads in this shot. I know it’s difficult to tell byjust screenshots but I challenge anyone to go back and take a look at thisscene.

Inmy observation, as Blake returned to sit next to Yang, I noticed that as Oscarturned his head in her direction, instead of making eye contact with him, Rubyturned her head away prompting Oscar to glance away.

It’ssomething that’s veryshort. You wouldn’t even notice it at first glance and in hindsightit might not mean anything because this could just be my misunderstanding. Butit’s there.

WhenI noticed this, it actually stung. Because the last time Oscar looked inRuby’s direction, she met his gaze witha warm welcoming smile that made him feel at ease. Here, she doesn’t do that.She looks away. The camera isn’t focused on their expressions like last time sothat we can properly see their reactions but this angle fits because it’s mimicsthe tension.

Myfellow Rosegardeners, I hate to break it to you but I think things are a little weird between our two honest souls.

Oncemore, this is probably just me overthinking certain moments. I’ll only know ifmy assumptions are true in the next episode. Hopefully C6 would be much longerin duration with the chapters after that following the same pattern. I’m hopingthe next episode will provide us with more substance especially given the chiller teaserleft at the end of C5. Who knows? Maybe with luck, the next episode will beanother long, exposition and/or flashback episode.

Mariamentioned finding a story to tell the QROWBY before bed. I’m holding her tothat and something tells me that Maria’s story will shed some light on the Silver EyeWarriors. Perhaps it willbe the Shallow Sea fairy-tale since it’s the only one fans have yet to learnabout or see explored in the RWBY-verse.

And if my theoryabout the ShallowSea being a remnant of the God of Light’sFountain of Life and Creation whichis what created the First Silver Eyed Warrior then I think we’re in for a real treat next episode. But that is just myassumption. I’m also praying that next episode will provide some flashback onOscar’s past. 

I hope there’s a scene of Oscar possibly tearing himself awayfrom the group to go eyeball the Brunswick family photos. He then starts reminiscingabout his own family—perhaps he’ll recall a similar family portrait of hisown family taken much like the Brunswick’s. Maybe he even carries that familyphoto around with him as a relic from his past life.

Ihonestly hope being on a farm and in the houseof another family of farmers willspark some memories and maybe even homesickness in Oscar. As a Pinehead,I really would like for us to learn more about Oscar’s past because it’ssomething that hasn’t really been addressed since V4.

Wedidn’t even get to meet his aunt during his introduction. We got to see a full visualization of Ozpin’s past (well most of it anyways—we stillhaven’t met the King of Vale and Professor Ozpin again in his flashback). Itwould be really nice if we got to see a bit more ofOscar’s life. See more of what his home life was like before. Meet his entirefamily.

If I recallcorrectly, there were more barns on the Pine Family farm back in V4. Perhaps the Pines were likethe Brunswicks. Another large family who shared and lived all together on one bigplot of land that’s been in their family for generations. I wonder if Oscarlived with his parents, his Auntie Pine and possibly more aunts and uncles andmaybe even little cousins too.

Whatif…each family sharedthe family land and had their own farm house and barn. I always wondered whyOscar slept in the barn as opposed to his aunt’s house. At first I assumed thatmaybe it was out of convenience since he also worked as a farmhand and sleepingin the barn probably saved him time on the mornings. 

Now I’m wondering if it’sbecause that barn was the one owned by his family and it was the only thing ofhis that was left standing. I still want to stick with my hunch about Oscar’sparents being killed in a storm that took part of their farm. And if the farmboy had more family then this could spell him and his aunt being the only twoleft from their original family.

Theseare questions I want answered so…hopefully it’ll come in the next episode or so.I understand that not every episode of V6 had to focus on either Ozpin or Oscar. However…thelast three episodes were technically heavily Ozpin-centric especially Chapter 3. Ozpin got his fair share of focus. Ithink it’s time we got some on Oscar now. Not to mention, and I cannot stressthis enough, the QROWMBY ARE ON A FARM!

AFARM people! Come on! That has got to spark something for Oscar. I’m evenwondering if the study that the group were in will remind Oscar more of his aunt’s house.Ozpin did mention back in V4 that Oscar’s aunt had books. Perhaps her house had a study too in a similar style to theBrunswick home and Oscar will have flashbacks oftimes he spent reading in his aunt’s study or having stories read to him by heror his parents.

PerhapsMaria even reading the group a story before bed will make Oscar feel nostalgic because he’ll see his aunt in Maria. Now I’mimagining a cute scene of a young Oscar in the study of his aunt’s home and hisaunt announcing that it’s time for bed but Oscar insists on hearing a storybefore bed. So Auntie Pine obliges her nephew and tells him to pick a story forher to read to him. So Oscar curls up in a blanket next to his aunt on thecouch in front of their fireplace as she tells him a story.

Perhaps the story that Mariawill read to the group will be one Oscar heard a lot growing up. As a matter offact…what if…it’sone of Oscar’s favourite stories. Remember when Oscar first saw Ruby for thefirst time in V5 and he was mesmerized by her silver eyes.

NowI’m pondering something awfully curious. Perhaps…there is an old Mistralian folklore about a Silver Eyed Warriorthat Oscar heard a lot growing up and it quickly became his favourite story. Iknow the obvious connection between Oscar acknowledging Ruby’s silver eyes was theparallel with Oz from V1. But perhaps there wasanother reason that’s tied to Oscar him.

What if…Ruby had silver eyeslike the hero in Oscar’s favourite childhood bedtime fairy-tale that his AuntiePine read him a lot as kid? I think this connection could be cool if madecanon.

Doyou know what would be even nicer—if Maria picks out a folklore on the SilverEyes for her to read to the group and asks Oscar for some assistance in tellingthe story. But to Maria’s surprise, Oscar recognized the story from one heheard as a kid and ends up telling it on his own because he knew it by heart.After all, it was his favourite one. The Tale of the Silver Eyes.

I’dlove the CRWBY Writers even more if they gave us Oscar and Maria tag teaming totell the group a bedtime story next episode especially if it’s one that hintsat the Silver Eyes and it’s one that Oscar knows from his childhood in Mistral.Would totally love that!

ButI guess we’ll see how things go next time. I’ve rambled enough as it is.Apologies for the long answer fam.

~LittleMissSquiggles (2018)

[preserving-ferretbrain]

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Chapters 13-23

by Dan H

Wednesday, 01 August 2007In which Dan continues to self-harm with the final Harry Potter book.

Previously: I'm doing a chapter-by-chapter reaction to Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

So far we've had a wedding, Harry has sat in Grimmauld place doing nothing and ... umm ... that's it.

Chapter Thirteen: The Muggle-Born Registration Commission

In which we have yet more of the Ministry pretending to be Nazis.

Let's face it: Harry Potter is an RPG with a crappy GM. This would explain why the Troika spend this chapter, and the next couple, acting like a stereotypical bunch of clueless player characters.

They've got into the Ministry, and they've realised that they have no fucking clue what to do once they get in, so they bugger about stumbling into subplots, and wind up having to fight their way out.

They also get the Horcrux, and rescue a bunch of people from the Muggle-Born Registration Commission.

It strikes me, incidentally, that much as I hate the chapters in which nothing happens at all, the chapters in which things actually do happen are in many ways worse. At least the event-free chapters have an excuse for being as boring as all hell. This chapter, which includes Dementors, show trials, and a running battle in the Ministry, is so tedious I can't even find a noteworthy quote.

I'll leave you with this, then, from Harry's brief glimpse at a copy of The Life and Lies of Albus Dumbledore (okay, we get it, there's Dumbledore backplot, please stop now).

The boy who roared in silent amusement beside Dumbledore had a gleeful, wild look about him. His golden hair fell in curls to his shoulders.

I quote this not because I have anything to say about it, but so that you can join me in my disbelief when next chapter Harry has a vision of a familiar looking blonde man with a gleeful wild look, and hasn't got a clue where he's seen him before.

Chapter Fourteen: The Thief

In which the Potterites hide in a tent.

Our intrepid heroes can't go back to Grimmauld Place, because somebody was holding on to Hermione when she Apparated, and we all know that when you hold on to somebody who's teleporting, you teleport with them. It's, like, the rules.

So they go and sit in a tent. A magic tent. In some woods. And the realise that they don't know how to destroy the Horcrux. So tell us something we don't know.

Very, very little happens in this chapter. Most of it is taken up with Harry having a vision of Lord Voldemort finally killing that wand-maker he's been hunting down. Harry expresses surprise that Voldemort didn't grill the guy for wand-lore first. Because once again Harry Potter readers are too dumb to decide for themselves how they should react to plot twists and revelations.

Voldemort is looking for something, and he thinks Gregorovitch has it, but he doesn't because it was stolen from him. In a shocking display of convenience, Harry manages not only to read Voldemort's mind, but also the mind of the wandmaker, which presumably Voldemort was reading when their connection was open. So he gets a good look at the "thief".

Harry could still see the blond-haired youth's face, it was merry, wild.

Harry thinks it sounds familiar, but can't think from where.

Clue: it begins with "P" and ends with "Revious Chapter".

Chapter Fifteen: The Goblin's Revenge

In which we get yet another plot dump from some highly convenient Goblins.

Another thing you have to love about JK Rowling is the fact that she's not afraid to overhype her chapter titles. We constantly wind up with titles like "The Massively Significant Thing That Happens In A Huge And Important Way" and wind up with some guy breaking his spectacles. A fine example of this phenomenon was, of course, the first chapter of this very book: "The Dark Lord Ascending".

Indeed, one might almost suggest that the best way to appreciate JK Rolwing is to take her chapter titles and imagine for yourself what actually happens in them. Hmm ... I wonder if any fanfic communities have tried that: re-imagine Potter based only on the chapter headings.

I'm digressing again, but since this chapter is yet another useless waste of space with the protagonists sitting in a tent, I don't feel too bad about that.

Anyway, this chapter is called "The Goblin's Revenge" but could more accurately be called "The Goblin Didn't Mention That The Sword of Gryffindor That Got Put Into Gringotts Was Actually A Fake When He Possibly Could Have." As revenge goes, that's pretty lame.

So the Potteristas, safely ensconced in the Tent of Magically Protected Arse Sitting overhear Ted Tonks and a couple of Gringotts Goblins having a long, laboured discussion in which they painstakingly explain whatever bits of the plot Harry needs to know about next.

Which leads to this awful expository conversation between the Potteroids:

"The sword can destroy Horcruxes! Goblin-made blades imbibe only that which strengthens them - Harry, that sword's impregnated with Basilisk venom!" "Dumbledore didn't give it to me because he still needed it, he wanted to use it on the locket -" "- and he must have realised they wouldn't let you have it if he put it in his will -" "- so he made a copy -" "- and put a fake in the glass case -" "- and put the real one ... where?"

Okay, fine, so you've answered the "Why didn't Dumbeldore give them all this shit earlier" question, and guess what: it's a stupid answer. Why not say "Harry, in case anything happens to me, I want you to take the sword of Gryffindor. Keep it safe, because it can destroy Horcruxes on account of how it's impregnated with Basilisk venom. By the way, we'll need it to destroy that locket we're going after."

Furthermore, the whole reason for the sword being able to destroy Horcruxes rubs me up the wrong way. It's an artefact of one of the founders of Hogwarts: it's a puissant magical weapon of ancient goblin craftsmanship. Do we really need that tat about its being "impregnated with basilisk venom"? Hell, do we really need basilisk venom to be the thing that destroys Horcruxes.

I'm not saying it doesn't make sense, but it makes the wrong kind of sense. It makes the kind of juvenile sense you get amongst seventeen year old roleplayers who will argue your leg off about how a vampire's clothes should reflect in a mirror, even if the vampire doesn't. The Sword can't destroy the Horcruxes because it's a Symbolic Ultimate Good to defeat their Symbolic Ultimate Evil. It can destroy Horcruxes because it's soaked in Horcrux Destroying Juice. This presumably is manufactured by the same people who made the Dumbledore Killing Juice that featured in the final chapters of book six.

In the next part of the chapter, Ron scores major points with me, as he assumes the mantle of Voice of the Reader, and points out what a hopelessly, stupidly, unbearably pointless situation they are now in. They have one Horcrux, they have no idea where the others are. They found out purely by chance that the Sword of Gryffindor can destroy Horcruxes, but they don't know where it is or how to get it. In short, the only thing they can do is sit around like morons hoping to get a lucky break.

I always hate it when this sort of thing happens. You had exactly the same situation in the seventh season of Buffy. The Hero clearly hasn't got a fucking clue what they are doing, and one of their companions finally snaps (often as a result of having seen half their friends die, or having been forced to hide in a tent eating wild mushrooms as a result of the hero's blatant incompetence) and calls them on it. Then the hero is all "you've got to have faith, you've got to believe in what we're doing!" and the friend is all "but this is completely and totally stupid, the only hope we have is to be saved by authorial fiat." And then the hero says "well if you feel like that you'd better leave", then the friend leaves. Then authorial fiat comes along and presents the hero with all the answers which they were manifestly incapable of acquiring of their own accord, and the friend has to slink back and admit that the hero was right all along.

It's awful, and it's always awful. It's bad writers trying to excuse bad writing by pretending that their failure to give their characters adequate motivation to undertake a course of action is really their character having Faith in something Greater Than Themselves.

So Ron Disapparates out of the Tent Of Pointlessness, and I sincerely wish I could go with him.

Chapter Sixteen: Godric's Hollow

In which Potter very briefly gets off his arse.

Ron has left. Harry is all cut up about this. Hermione is even more cut up about it because she is worried that if he doesn't get back they won't be able to get married and give their children stupid names.

Early on in this chapter, I had to wonder whether JK was actually taking the piss, when I stumbled across the following:

He was staggered, now, to think of his own presumption in accepting his friends' offers to accompany him on this meandering, pointless journey.

I mean, seriously. That's a joke, right. That's JK Rowling tacitly admitting that the first two hundred and fifty seven pages of her book have been a complete waste of everybody's time and energy.

Finally, they seize on the nearest thing they have to a clue, which is to go to Godric's Hollow in the hope that they can meet somebody who can point them in the right direction.

They spend approximately a month planning this little jaunt, collecting the hair of random strangers so that they can Polyjuice themselves again, and learning to Apparate together under the invisibility cloak. Much as I appreciate these little details, I'd be completely happy to take them as read.

So they piffle around looking at graves, and we finally get to see where James and Lily are buried. There's also an honest-to-God Potter statue in the middle of the square, and we find that the former Potter residence has been preserved as a shrine for all eternity so that nobody forgets what happened there.

I really wanted to find those scenes touching. Honestly I did. But it's book seven for crying out loud, and Harry has only just gone back to Godric's Hollow? On top of this, the whole thing contributes to the massively mixed messages we get about the Wizarding World's attitude towards Harry. We've spent the past three books having pretty much the whole of wizarding society shun Harry on a variety of ropey pretexts (the latest being "the Daily Prophet says he killed Dumbledore"), so to have this vast memorial to his triumph and his parents' sacrifice is actually rather jarring.

Anyway, the ... well Duo, I suppose they are now ... dick around in Godric's hollow for a bit. In the next chapter they meet Bathilda Bagshot.

Chapter Seventeen: Bathilda's Secret

In which we find out no information of any importance.

The title of this chapter is "Bathilda's Secret". Now I had vainly hoped that "Bathilda's Secret" would be some of this goddamned Dumbledore backplot which JK has been waving in my face for the past two hundred and seventy pages. No such luck.

Bathilda's Secret, in case you were wondering is "she's dead, and there's a gigantic fucking snake living in her animated corpse."

There's actually precious little to say about this chapter. H&H meet Bathilda Bagshot, she acts really, really, really creepy. Like she's an animated corpse with a giant snake inside her, in fact. She lures them into her home, which smells of piss and dead women with snakes inside them. Then she lures Harry upstairs, where she turns into Nagini and tries to kill him.

Or rather, not to kill him, but to hold him until Voldemort shows up, so that the Dark Lord can kill him personally.

I'm going to go off on another tangent now, and rant for a bit about how utterly fucking annoying this is. Voldemort would have won his war in eight seconds flat, bent the Wizarding world to his will, triumphed over all resistance, danced on the grave of Albus Dumbledore, achieved immortality and subjugated mugglekind with ease if he had just been willing to let go of the whole "I have to be the one to kill Harry Potter" thing.

I wouldn't mind so much, but there is absolutely no reason given for Voldemort's stubborn insistence that he "has to be the one" to kill Potter or, for that matter, Potter's stubborn insistence that he "has to be the one" to defeat Voldemort. Everybody just seems to take it for granted that only Harry can beat Voldemort, only Voldemort can beat Harry. And I know that there's the "prophecy" but for fuck's sake. Prophecies are cool when people hear them, set out to defy them, and fail. They are not cool when people hear the prophecy and say: "Oh my god! A Prophecy! I must immediately and unthinkingly do exactly what it says! Which also just happens to be the thing which most directly furthers the hackneyed plot of the quest the author has decided I'm supposed to be on."

Voldemort gets closer, and Harry starts seeing into his mind again, but now Voldemort is reliving his murder of Harry's parents. This flashback takes three pages and tells us literally nothing that we do not already know. It does, however, give us some insights into Voldemort's mono-dimensional non-personality, with lines like:

...how stupid they were, and how trusting, thinking that their secret lay in friends, that weapons could be discarded even for moments...

Do you see. Because Voldemort can't understand love. Because he's completely incapable of any human feeling whatsoever. Another thing that hacks me off about Voldemort is the fact that JK seems on the one hand to want us to view him as something utterly inhuman, a creature devoid of compassion or emotion, a heartless monster that kills at random, but on the other hand wants us to view him as somehow similar to Harry, the hero with whom we are supposed to sympathise. She shows us that he and Harry have vaguely similar personal histories, that they are connected on a variety of levels, and keeps having Dumbledore say things like "It is our choices, Harry, which define us". But Voldemort never makes a "choice" to do evil, or at least not a meaningful choice. Voldemort does evil because if he did not, there would be no book. He walks on stage a psychopath, and he dies a psychopath. His actions gain him nothing, and cost him everything. He plays the villain because Rowling wants him to. He has no personality, no identity, no goals beyond those dictated by the plot. All the effort Rowling puts into "developing" his "character" in books six and seven only highlights this fact.

So Voldemort shows up and fails to kill Harry Potter. Again.

Shoot me. Shoot me now.

Chapter Eighteen: The Life and Lies of Albus Dumbledore

In which we are expected to give a shit about Dumbledore's lame-ass backstory.

While Godric's Hollow turned out to be a bust, Hermione did manage to swipe a copy of The Life and Lies of Albus Dumbledore, Rita-Skeeter's tell-all biography of the lovable old plot device.

Blah blah dark past blah blah Grindelwald blah blah world conquest blah blah greater good.

Long story short: Dumbledore spent approximately three months on good terms with the Dark Wizard Grindelwald, during which time they concocted some typically teenage plans about how it would ... like ... be totally radical if ... like ... Wizards took over the world because ... like ... look at how fake and commercial everything was. Or something. It's cheap and unconvincing and really not that shocking at all. It's sort of like discovering that Churchill once met Hitler at a party in 1921.

What makes all of this even more risible is the timeline involved. According to the information provided by JK Rowling, Dumbledore is about 150 when the books take place. Given that he met Grindelwald when they were both eighteen, this puts their Summer O' Evil at around eighteen fifty-something. Dumbledore, of course, eventually defeated Grindelwald in nineteen forty-five. Nearly a hundred years later. Either Grindelwald was in power for a really long time, or else he didn't come to power for nearly a century after he met old Albus. Either way, it seems a bit pointless to hold Dumbledore responsible for the actions taken in 1940 by a man he met in 1860.

Harry, of course goes off the deep end, and Hermione, of course, tries to point out that things aren't as awful as they seem.

"He changed, Harry, he changed! It's as simple as that! Maybe he did believe those things when he was seventeen, but the whole of the rest of his life was devoted to fighting the Dark Arts!"

Harry doesn't seem to be able to get his head around this idea, and for once I can't entirely blame him for it. After all, there isn't one single character in the entire Harry Potter series who has shown any meaningful development between their arrival at Hogwarts and their death. Riddle was always a psycho, Sirius was always a wild card, Lily was always an angel and so on. So Harry can, in fact, be entirely forgiven for assuming that Dumbledore's personality was set in stone by the age of eighteen.

I wish I could say that we had now finally got the Dumbledore backstory out of the way. But no.

Chapter Nineteen: The Silver Doe

In which it turns out that Ron's attack of sanity was really black magic.

For some reason, we are supposed to associate the "Silver Doe" with Lily Potter. I'm not sure why. Okay, so James was a stag. Does Lily have no identity of her own?

Oh wait. Never mind then.

Anyway, Harry and Hermione are still sitting in the Procrastination Tent. Harry, keeping watch, thinks he hears something outside. Then he catches a glimpse of the Silver Doe of the title, and decides to dash off into the dark after it.

Now even JK Rowling, who usually doesn't bother to justify her characters' moronic decisions, seems to have realised that dashing out into the night, away from their magically protected tent and into an unknown darkness where absolutely anything could be waiting for them, so she gives us another one of her trademark "no this totally makes sense" lines:

Caution murmured: it could be a trick, a lure, a trap. But instinct, overwhelming instinct, told him that this was not Dark Magic.

So that's okay then. If you know something might be a trap, it's okay to walk blindly into it.

The Silver Doe (which we are supposed to associate with Lily Potter because she was nothing more than James Potter's woman) leads Harry to a lake, which has the Sword of Gryffindor at the bottom. I shit you not.

I've seen people on the internet actually praising Rowling for the "symbolism" of this scene. Newsflash kids: ripping scenes off from famous myths isn't symbolism, it's just lazy. It's a sword in a lake, which is only there because somebody sent it to Harry, because the little fucktard would otherwise be completely incapable of destroying any of the damned Horcruxes.

So Harry takes off all of his clothes and dives into the frozen lake, but the Horcrux around his neck tries to strangle him (which it should really have done earlier, thinking about it). He is rescued by the timely re-arrival of Ron, who saves Harry, retrieves the Sword of Gryffindor, and then explains that he was only making consistent, cogent points about how completely fucked they all were, and how Harry didn't know what the hell he was doing, because the Horcrux was doing a One Ring on him.

So they're all reconciled, and Harry tells Ron that he is supposed to be the one to destroy the locket. Seriously, everybody in this entire book should just get the hell over all the "supposed to be" shit. Voldemort won't let his minions kill Harry, because he's "supposed" to do it, Harry can't ask for help defeating Voldemort because he's "supposed" to do it himself, and now apparently Ron is "supposed" to destroy the locket. What. The. Fuck?

So Harry opens the locket by speaking Parseltongue, and in one of the book's three moments of almost possessing merit, we see that Tom Riddle's original eyes are staring out of the two halves of the locket (I like to think that the Cup of Helga Hufflepuff contains his original nose).

Then the locket starts pulling a bunch of annoying "Hermione doesn't love you" shit to freak Ron out, which would be somewhat more effective if JK Rowling had made Ron/Hermione (or indeed any romantic relationship, or indeed any relationship at all) remotely convincing. Ron stabs the locket in they eyes, and they all go home.

They get back to the Inactivity Tent, and Hermione's all like "Ron, you absolute bastard, I'm going to kick the shit out of you and then bang your brains out." Then Ron explains that he managed to find them because the Deluminator, as well as being able to switch lights out, also lets you find your way back to your friends after you ditch them in the middle of their epic quest.

Say it with me now: What the fuck?

You see, it's shit like this that led a small number of people to believe that Dumbledore had to be from the future. I mean foresight is one thing, but are you seriously telling me that when he created the Deluminator, however many decades ago that was, he thought to himself "hey, I'd better install a 'be able to find your way back to your friends for no readily explicable reason' function as well, because one day in the next century, three young wizards might be on a quest to destroy Voldemort's Horcruxes, and one of them might leave, and need to find his way back."

And it's shit like this that makes me really hate JKR's attempt to make Dumbledore into a "complex" character in this book. You simply can't have it both ways. Either he's a real human person who makes mistakes, or he's the infallible plot god who is so wise, so possessed of absolute foresight, that he manages to predict correctly that Ron will fall under the influence of the Locket Horcrux, leave the quest, want to return, and be unable to do so because Harry and Hermione are travelling the country in a magically protected tent.

Seriously, if the guy is smart enough to do that, why the hell wasn't he smart enough to - say - track down Voldemort's Horcruxes during the ten years in which he was incorporeal, or to twig much sooner that Grindelwald was probably evil, or to not get horribly cursed trying to use the Resurrection Stone (of which more later).

Dumbledore is infallible when he needs to do something amazing to advance the plot, but All Too Human when Rowling wants to impress us with how layered and complex her characters are.

I've used the phrase "fucking hack" before, haven't I.

Chapter Twenty: Xenophilius Lovegood

In which we miss Luna Lovegood like crazy.

Here Hermione basically turns into a D&D player again, and spins out a line of logic which boils down to "hey, when we were at the wedding, the GM told us that Xenophilius Lovegood was wearing this symbol on his chest. He wouldn't have told us that if it wasn't important, right, we should totally go investigate this Xeno guy."

So they do.

They arrive at Chez Lovegood, and Ron is all "oh no, I am near my home but am not going there" and Harry is all "oh no, I am near Ginny but have no chance of getting a decent blow job".

It takes them fucking ages to ask Xenophilus about the symbol on his chest, and then Rowling does that gimmicky "end the chapter on the sentence you should probably have started the damned thing on" trick with:

"Are you referring to the sign of the Deathly Hallows?"

We're on page 328. For comparative purposes, the original Philosopher's Stone (UK Edition) ended on page 223, Chamber of Secrets on 251, and Prisoner of Azkaban on page 317. So you could read the whole of the first book and half of the second in the time it's taken us to get to the goddamned title of this one.

Chapter Twenty-One: The Tale of the Three Brothers

In which JK apes fairy-tales and fails.

So there are these three brothers who meet Death, and he offers each of them a gift, but really he's trying to fuck them over. So the first one asks for an unbeatable wand, and gets himself killed. The second one asks for a stone that can raise the dead, and drives himself to suicide. The third one, realising that Death is probably a fuck, asks for a way to get the hell out of there without Death following him, so he gets an invisibility cloak.

That's the story of the three brothers, and the Elder Wand, the Resurrection Stone, and the Invisibility Cloak together comprise the Deathly Hallows. Which is a stupid, stupid, stupid name for them. I mean seriously: "Hallows"? It's almost as bad as the "younglings" in Revenge of the Sith.

So anyway, Harry is all "these things totally exist, we should totally ditch our current quest to go look for them" and Hermione is all "these things totally don't exist, we should totally not ditch our current quest to go look for them" and Ron is all "these things might or might not exist, and I don't know whether we should ditch our current quest to go look for them or not."

Bets on the Hallows being real, everybody?

Anyway, the story of the Three Brothers is quite nice stylistically, but the actual content bugs me. As ever, my new favourite character Ron says it best:

"Nah, that story's just one of those things you tell kids to teach them lessons, isn't it? 'Don't go looking for trouble, don't pick fights, don't go messing around with stuff that's best left alone! Just keep your head down and mind your own business and you'll be OK."

In the "Tale of the Three Brothers," the ones who wind up dead are the ones who try to actually achieve something with their "Hallows". The last brother, the one who makes it through, the one we are supposed to admire, is the one who spends his entire life sitting under an invisibility cloak doing nothing.

I've already pointed out how passive Harry is, how he just reacts to things, how he doesn't have a consistent plan. I've complained about the fact that he's basically spent this entire book sitting in a tent doing nothing, but it becomes increasingly apparent through the book that JK Rowling views inactivity as a virtue and ambition as a sin. The implied morality of all this makes me genuinely uncomfortable, but I think I'll come back to that after I've finished the main article.

Anyway, having had the plot dump, it transpires that the Death Eaters have captured Luna, and that her father has bargained Potter to them for her return. Everybody panics, but our happy band manage to escape because - as Xeno seems to have failed to realise - they can fucking teleport.

The final thing I want to mention in this chapter touches on JK Rowling's dubious morality once again.

During the getaway, they make a big thing about how Hermione puts Ron under the invisibility cloak, not Harry. The idea here is that she wants the Death Eaters to see that Harry really was there, so that they don't think Xeno Lovegood was betraying them.

That's actually really nice, but it's spoiled by this little sequence:

Xenophilius' paper-white face appeared over the top of the sideboard. "Obliviate!" cried Hermione.

So she's gone to all that trouble to stop the Death Eaters hurting him, only to erase his brain anyway. Nice.

Chapter Twenty-Two: The Deathly Hallows

In which we are: Still. Sitting. In. A. Fucking. Tent.

Abso-fucking-lutely nothing-at-fucking-all happens in this chapter.

Seriously.

Harry gets obsessed with the Hallows, he realises that Voldemort is probably after the Elder wand, and they listen to a completely pointless radio broadcast.

They have no plan, no idea what to do or where to go.

Gee, wouldn't it be convenient if they got captured so that the Death Eaters could accidentally let slip the location of one of the Horcruxes.

What's that you say, JK? Harry said Voldemort's name, even though he knows that it will bring the wrath of the Dark Lord down upon him? And they've been captured? And they're going to Malfoy Manor?

No shit.

Chapter Twenty-Three: Malfoy Manor

In which Harry survives by dumb luck yet again.

So after Harry totally fucked up for about the millionth time in his career, and the Trio get captured by a band of "snatchers", one of which is Fenrir Greyback.

Hermione, in a flash of competence otherwise unheard of in this series, blasts Harry with a spell to make his face swell up so the Snatchers won't recognise him. Shame about that massively distinctive scar really, isn't it.

Incidentally, part of me wonders why the Voldemort-Taboo spell, supposedly implemented by Death Eater Central, is alerting random bands of snatchers instead of genuine Death Eaters. Fenrir might wear the robes, but he isn't allowed the Mark, because he's a filthy half-breed, so they have to haul Harry and Co back to Malfoy Manor in order to deliver him to the Dark Lord personally. Of course the Dark Lord isn't there, he's in - like - Albania or somewhere looking for the Elder Wang.

So our heroes, such as they are, get taken back to Malfoy Manor, and introduced to the Malfoy family, in the various persons of Narcissa, Bellatrix, and Draco (who shows a rather touching moment of being not-totally-evil when he is reluctant to formally identify Team Potter).

Bellatrix - again proving herself to be the only Death Eater with half a brain or any balls - recognises the Sword of Gryffindor, which she of course believes to be still in her family Vault. She totally freaks out at this, and thereby tips off Harry to the possibility of one of the other Horcruxes being in the vault. This is actually well done. Bellatrix reacts reasonably and sensibly, and Harry draws a logical conclusion, without having somebody else spell things out for him.

Anyway, Bellatrix decides to torture Hermione to find out what the Potterites know (again, the only Death Eater with any balls or half a brain), then she throws Harry into the World's Most Pathetic Dungeon.

In the World's Most Pathetic Dungeon we find Luna, Ollivander, and some other minor characters who I'm too bored to mention right now. Harry is tied up, but fortunately they have an old piece of nail, which makes short work of any pesky ropes you might happen to have lying around.

So while Hermione is being tortured (incidentally: bets on this hideous torment having any influence on her personality whatsoever? Bingo) Harry escapes his bonds through Luna's broken-nail-fu. He digs through the mokeskin bag which Hagrid gave him (it was a birthday present, nobody can take things out of it except the owner. Why nobody just took it off him I don't know). Fortunately, he remembered to pack the sliver of broken glass from that mirror thing that Sirius gave him. Good thing that. He has a flash of Dumbledore's eye, and calls for help.

He's a man of action, that Harry Potter.

So Dobby the house-elf shows up to rescue him. It really is a fucking curtain-call isn't it. Dobby Appartes out with Luna, Ollivander, and some other minor character, but the commotion caused by all this has attracted the attention of the Death Eaters, who send Peter Pettigrew (who for some reason everybody now calls by his boyhood nickname of "Wormtail") down to investigate).

Ron and Harry jump Pettigrew, who fights back like a good'un, using his Evil Silver Hand to throttle the life out of Harry. Harry reminds Peter that he (Harry) saved his (Pettigrew's) life back in book three, and wasn't it time for some payback. So, in a sequence that makes no sense, Wormtail's silver hand releases Harry, and then turns on its owner, choking him to death. Now I think the implication here is that the Silver Hand, being Totally Evil, was punishing Pettigrew for showing mercy, but that seems a little harsh, since the Death Eaters are all under explicit instructions not to kill Potter anyway.

So Ron and Harry burst upstairs to rescue Hermione. The battle goes exactly the same way as every other fight between hardened Dark Wizards and underage schoolchildren.

During this scuffle, Harry yanks a bunch of wands out of Draco's hand. This is an act of Profound Mystical Significance, for reasons which will be explained later.

Anyway, they fight, they bite, they fight they fight they bite, and then Dobby shows up for the final rescue. Now he should have been able to manage that in about eight seconds flat. He's a house elf, he can teleport even inside Hogwarts. He's got magic the like of which the Death Eaters cannot comprehend.

But this is the final book, and JK Rowling is a serious author who is sending a real message about death and the importance of being a passive whiny bitch, so of course Dobby can't do that. Instead he has to stand around making a speech for exactly long enough for Bellatrix to shove her dagger through his skinny little chest.

This would have been kind of touching, but seriously, all Dobby had to do was to get in, get out, and not bother with the big "you must not hurt Harry Potter" routine and he would have been fine.

So Dobby dies. His actual death is one of the most godawfully crappy bits of writing I've read since, well, since last chapter I suppose.

The elf's eyes found him, and his lips trembled with the effort to form words. "Harry ... Potter ..." And then with a little shudder the elf became quite still, and his eyes were nothing more than great, glassy orbs sprinkled with light from the stars they could not see.

Get your Great Glassy Orbs off me you damn dirty house elf!

On a side note, deaths so far: Charity Burbage, Hedwig, Mad-Eye, Dobby, Ted Tonks.

So of five fatalities, that's two completely unimportant characters, and three utter cheap shots. Way to go you cold, callous killer you.

Next: The exciting conclusion. The fucking awful epilogue.

Themes:

J.K. Rowling

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Books

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Young Adult / Children

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Arthur B

at 15:03 on 2007-08-01She's gone on record as saying that the fairy tale is based on the Pardoner's Tale, hasn't she?

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http://carojen.livejournal.com/

at 16:42 on 2009-07-10I agree with most of what you have written; pointing out the few instances of good writing really makes the rest look bad in comparision.

it becomes increasingly apparent through the book that JK Rowling views inactivity as a virtue and ambition as a sin.

Not to mention that it is Slytherin, the house of _ambition_, that is portrayed as evil throughout the series. At least she doesn't give us conflicting messages. :meh

By the way, Dumbledore was born in 1881, according to Word of God, but that revelation was probably after this was written.

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Dan H

at 22:51 on 2009-07-10At time of writing, I'm pretty sure the WoG on Dumbledore's age was "about a hundred and fifty".

Assuming he was hanging out with Grindelwald in his school days, that still puts his Nazi era more than a hundred years before the present day of the Potterverse, and a clear forty-year gap between the Grindelwald Reich and the Summer of Evil.

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https://me.yahoo.com/a/tjLTVHEducFb4rKDHU5DukBHtQcCbTVMEEq55v0CxV4-#5e156

at 20:24 on 2009-07-29Very good idea about fanfiction challenges, especially with regards to chapter one. Why does JKR through Ron draw meticulous attention to how badly written the book is? I suppose because her fortune had already been made. And she does send out some massively mixed messages doesn't she? So it's OK by her to zombify your parents and friend's parents without a second thought...

[gracedman]

A Man Named Meraiah

Nehemiah 12:12 (ESV)

And in the days of Joiakim were priests, heads of fathers’ houses: of Seraiah, Meraiah; of Jeremiah, Hananiah;

 We know so very little of the man named Meraiah. He was a post-exilic priest. He was the head of his household. He was one of many, so his peer group was fairly large. And that his name means “pigheaded or Stubborn headed.” He was difficult to deal with. Friends, family, and others gave him a wide berth and were reluctant to interact with him.

 I was wondering: How does a priest end up there? With an identity of “stubborn headed or Pigheaded?” This would seem a contradiction or an unexpected condition to find in a child of God. Let alone in a priest. How does it happen? Perhaps Moses can help us out?

  Deuteronomy 31:27 (ESV)

For I know how rebellious and stubborn you are. Behold, even today while I am yet alive with you, you have been rebellious against the Lord. How much more after my death!

 There is a subtle difference between rebellion and stubbornness. On leads to the other. Here I will quote another:

 “Does the truth of the Bible cause us to change in a process of humility? If it doesn’t then the ministry is set back because we don’t apply what we have been exposed to. We will live in rebellion. We don’t outwardly reject the word, but we put off the word of God and procrastinate its implementation in our lives. We should immediately implement our received truth. When we don’t, we lose its value in our lives. Use it or lose it. Come to the word to be humbled and not to be promoted. Our selfish disposition must not take us over. Christ must. Rebellion must be rooted out of our lives.”

 He continues:

  “Isaiah 3:8 (ESV)

For Jerusalem has stumbled, and Judah has fallen, because their speech and their deeds are against the Lord, defying his glorious presence.

 We need to discern the anointings of God. And live in the awesome presence of God and not live in rebellion. The will must be touched and converted by the presence of God. Otherwise we live lives in personal rebellion. We can like the message as we listen to it or read it and then disobey it or procrastinate to obey it. The person’s will has not been touched by the visitation of God in or during the message. A process may be involved but the person’s will must be inwardly touched and then worked out to obey the Lord. Otherwise we have rebellion as we live in Satan’s disagreement with God. Rebellion against the word and mouth of God.”

 Rebellion is a reaction against God and his word and his people. Stubbornness is something beyond a mere reaction or a delaying of obedience. It is putting into action an alternative process. We rebel first and then are stubborn second:

  Isaiah 30:1–2 (ESV)

“Ah, stubborn children,” declares the Lord, “who carry out a plan, but not mine, and who make an alliance, but not of my Spirit, that they may add sin to sin; who set out to go down to Egypt, without asking for my direction, to take refuge in the protection of Pharaoh and to seek shelter in the shadow of Egypt!

 Here the Children of Israel were not just delaying obedience, they were stubborn. They had taken up with things not initiated by the Spirit of God and were therefore like Meraiah. They were “pigheaded and stubborn headed.”

  1 Samuel 15:22–23 (ESV)

And Samuel said, “Has the Lord as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the Lord? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to listen than the fat of rams. For rebellion is as the sin of divination, and presumption is as iniquity and idolatry. Because you have rejected the word of the Lord, he has also rejected you from being king.”

 Where are you today? Where am I today? In rebellion? In Stubbornness? In Meraiah? We are so anxious for God to bless us and increase us. But God sat me down and told me: “I am not about promoting you. I am about humbling you. So that my grace will be your only provision.” Divination is translated witchcraft in the AV translation. We would not ever get into that. Or would we? Listen to another author’s explanation of what it really means for us:

 “Divination is witchcraft or trafficking in the flow of demonic spirits. Consciously or unconsciously.

  1 Corinthians 10:20–21 (ESV)

No, I imply that what pagans sacrifice they offer to demons and not to God. I do not want you to be participants with demons. You cannot drink the cup of the Lord and the cup of demons. You cannot partake of the table of the Lord and the table of demons.

 We can be involved with these spirits from hell without participating in overt occult practices. One: Unavailable to truth from the word.  Two: Refuse to accept counsel from spiritual people. Three: I live alone unto God, but it is not the God of the Bible. Four: Pride motivates my stubbornness. And Finally, Arrogance maintains and sustains my rebellion. And that is the essence of witchcraft on a practical level.”

  Lord Jesus, how we desperately need to be converted from our former lives and natural thinking. Root out all counsel that is not of your spirit in our lives and fill us full of yours. Amen!!!