#also it's late but not as late as last time I'M GETTING BETTER

[just-wrting]

Think I Like You

Title: Think I Like You

Pairing: Roronoa Zoro x Half Mink!Reader

Word Count: 4.1k

Master List

Summary: You try to figure out why Zoro won’t take you seriously even if the answer isn’t what you expect.

A/N: I’m not dead! I’m just all over the place with a lot of stuff. I sleep a lot which I can’t tell if it’s a sleep issue or a depression issue, but I’m always tired. I still work full time but also do school part time now. Plus I’ve still got a boyfriend! But he wanted to end this weekend on 1062 which means Zoro brainrot for me.

You stretch and roll over, burying your face into your pillow. Ever since you changed where you nap, you've started sleeping so much better. Something about being more comfortable or something like that. The actual reason doesn't really matter. You're just happy you're sleeping better.

"You owe me for this."

"I don't owe you shit. Not my fault you nap in my spot." You reach up and pat his cheek. "What do I need to do for you to be quiet?"

"I already told you, you owe me."

You open your eyes just a little. "What could I possibly owe you? I don't like to drink, I don't keep money, not to mention I can't even tell if you're the type of man to be swayed by physical charms. What could I possibly offer you, Roronoa?"

"For starters, you can start referring to me by my name like everyone else does." He looks pissed. "You should fight me."

"You didn't take me seriously last time, Moss Head. Why would I bother trying again?"

He pulls on your ear. "I said like everyone else, not like how that idiot says my name."

You ignore him and bury your nose in his stomach. Dinner has been started, and if you don't ignore it you'll end up going to the kitchen early. It's less that Sanji minds seeing you, it's more of the fact that you struggle to suppress the urge to knock shit off the counter and dip your fingers in the sauces. Such is the life of someone like you.

You let yourself doze a little. You can still hear what's going on, but just like every common house cat, you ignore it. What you can't ignore is the gentle scratching behind your ears. As far as you remember, no one has done this since you were a kid. You don't hate the feeling, but you start to feel flustered over it. Ever since you left home, you've made sure affection comes at your own terms so you haven't had this in years.

There's no point in asking him to stop. You're clearly fond enough of him to nap on him, what's the big deal about getting ear scratches? Besides, he's the type to get embarrassed and loud if you point out you're awake. That's not something you feel like dealing with right now. You're too touch starved to complain.

Despite the comfortable conditions, you don't actually fall asleep. You spend the next forty-ish minutes pretending to sleep, waiting for dinner to be done. The time passes by relatively quickly, though you're sore afterwards. You couldn't bring yourself to even twitch, worried that he'd stop.

The dinner call goes off, and you pretend to wake up. You have no clue why you're acting, but it was too late to stop twenty minutes ago. Standing up, you stretch halfheartedly. At first, he doesn't say anything. It's only once he catches up to you that he starts asking questions.

"What's the deal with the noise you make?"

Raising an eyebrow, you look at him. "I don't snore, so I have no idea what you're talking about."

"I'm not stupid, I can tell you aren't snoring. The other noise, the one that's relaxing. I can usually feel it when you're laying directly on me."

"What do you mean? The other noise?" You pause to think it over before it clicks. "We aren't talking about that."

You know what he's referring to. It's not like it's something you can control, but it's still embarrassing. Of all people to be you around, it's been Zoro. No one on the crew has judged you for being what you are, it's just embarrassing to be a mix. Your mother's human, and your dad's a mink. You look decently human, just with a few quirks.

"What do you mean, we aren't talking about it? We're talking about it right now."

Your face starts to heat up. "I mean I don't want to tell you."

His eyes narrow in suspicion. "Why not? Is it supposed to be embarrassing or something?"

"If I say yes, will you drop it?"

"Yeah, sure."

His face instantly relaxes. If you could smack him, you would. The last time you tried, it hurt. So you put your hand on his shoulder and give him a push. The only thing it does is cause his other shoulder to hit the doorframe, but you use it to march past him.

You take your seat, leaning back against the armrest of the booth seat. Kicking your feet up on the space next to you, you watch the crew carefully. Everyone is smiling and in a good mood, so you don't have anything to worry about. You don't ever admit it, but you care about them even if it's difficult to show.

Zoro picks up your legs and lays them in his lap. Since it doesn't seem to bother him, you're tempted to just sit normally. You have no idea what's going on in that head of his, and you doubt he does either. However, you actually do enjoy touching him, so you'll stay like this for now.

There's more commotion as Sanji brings out the plates. The one you're most interested in is a large tuna fillet that gets set in the middle of the table. You can't stop staring at it, the tender flesh a beautiful golden color. It's hard to tell if it smells better than it looks or looks better than it smells. Sanji has never failed to impress you with his dishes, so you can't wait to sink your teeth in.

Before you can even start to load your plate, Sanji sets a small plate in front it you. It contains a disk of packed rice, some avocado slices, and chunks of fish. You're assuming it's more of the tuna. Whatever it is, it was made specifically for you.

You don't mind the special dishes. You'll try almost everything, and unlike Luffy, you'll eat it slow enough to give a review. Everything tastes good so you don't get the point, but it probably makes Sanji feel better to have honest reviews and not just someone who loves food fawning over his cooking. Though if you're not careful, you worry that he'll start having write an essay about it.

"And for you, a special tune tartare! If you like it, I'll make it again for everyone some time."

You nod. "Yeah, I'll let you know. I always do. Not that you've ever made a bad dish."

You can't stop the tip of your tail from flicking back and forth in mild annoyance. By the time you get halfway through the tartare, all of the fillet is gone. It's not like it's the biggest deal, you just wish you could've had some of that too. It's not fair that since you got a special tuna dish, that you don't get the other one.

"If you tell me what that noise was, I'll share," Zoro teases while pointing at you with a bite of tuna. "I bet you can't resist answering now."

"I'm a cat. I was making a normal noise that cats make. Consider it a compliment."

You lean forward and take the bite of tuna. It's flakey and melts on your tongue with a slightly sticky glaze that has hints of honey and garlic. You lick your lips savoring the balance of flavors. None of them are overwhelming, but it's hard to gauge in just one bite what you think about it.

"You can't just," Zoro stutters. "You can't just take the food off of my chopsticks. Get your own!"

You grab his wrist and lick the glaze off of the chopsticks. It feels like there's another flavor there that you can't quite tell what it is. It's some sort of herby flavor, that while you enjoy, you can't pin down.

"Here!" Zoro doesn't look at you as he shoves his plate towards you. "Just take it since I don't want your germs."

You want to tease him, but you'll leave him alone. It's better to leave it in front of other people since Robin's insinuations are becoming too much. For now you'll just eat the food. Later, you'll tease him.

—-

"You're still not taking me seriously, Roronoa. Why did you want to fight if you won't take me seriously?"

You lunge, hand reaching for his throat. He blocks it with his arm, causing your claws to dig into his skin. Using his arm as leverage, you pull yourself closer to him, swinging your sword at his side. His parry is effortless, and he looks bored. It's so aggravating that he won't take you seriously in a simple sparring match. Perhaps he'd take you more seriously if you actually tried to kill him.

You disengage before leaping over him. This time, you swing your sword at his neck as he turn around. It's once more blocked, and he smirks. You're just barely faster than him as he takes a halfhearted swing at your sword arm with his other arm. You catch the flat of the blade with your knuckles, steeling your arm against the shock wave of the blow.

Kicking your leg out in front of you, you aim for his knees, intending to bring him down. Despite the grip on his sword, he catches your ankle in his hand and pulls your leg to the side. You let your body pivot with the movement, twisting until your leg is behind you. You yank your foot forward as hard as you can, pulling him into your back.

He's quick to let your ankle go and grab your shoulder to steady himself. In a fluid motion, you swing your arm and grab your dagger. You flick it in your fingers and thrust towards his ribs. His hand trails down your arm to your wrist and pins it behind your back. He gives it a squeeze trying to get you to drop the dagger.

"Are you actually trying to kill him?" Nami tells from the side. "Are you stupid?"

You roll your eyes, sweeping your leg behind you and hooking Zoro's. Despite your efforts, you can't get him off balance, only causing him to take a step back. By now you're getting pissed off. You aren't a bad swordsman, it's just that this jerk is ridiculously smart in battle. This is probably the only time he'll use his brain all day.

You jerk your head back, hitting his jaw. The sound of the impact makes you regret it, knowing you'll feel like shit later. You manage to free yourself as he loosens his grip, and you elbow him as you twist back around. The only reason you're still going is because he won't take it seriously. It's like he finds it funny that he's able to fend you off so easily.

You rush towards him, tossing your weapons to the ground. Digging your claws into his shoulders, you use your momentum to knock him over. It only works because he's too busy rubbing his jaw to notice you in time. The two of you tumble to the deck, and you lean in as close as you can.

"Why won't you take me seriously? Is this just a game?"

Faster than you can blink, he's able to flip and pin you under him. He's even more smug than the last time you sparred, and you can't tell if you want to smack him or if you should kiss him. Not that you could smack him, he's got your hands above your head. While kissing him would let you win, you're not willing to fight that dirty in a friendly match.

"You're a brute, Zoro. You can't just manhandle the other crewmates just because you feel like it." Sanji pulls him off you. "If you were in the mood to fight I would've taken the offer."

You tune out their fight as Chopper checks your head and shoulder. You're a bit sore now, but you'll be fine in a few hours. Nothing keeps you down for long, even if it's usually just you going against the doctor's orders. The only thing actually bothering you is the fact that for a moment you thought he was going to answer your question. Though the fact you thought about kissing him is also an issue.

It's not difficult to figure out why you thought that way. Your parents made sure that you knew to find someone strong enough to protect you in case of something happening, even if you knew how to take care of yourself. That, and he's easy on the eyes. Even if he's an idiot half of the time, that doesn't matter. Your parents never said to find a smart man, just a strong one. Everything else was your choice.

Chopper hands you a damp towel, and you use to clean under your claws. Tiny spots of blood rest under them, probably from when you grabbed Zoro. If the pinprick wounds bothered him, he doesn't show it. He's too busy trying to shove Sanji off the boat. As long as you stay dry, it doesn't matter if they end up overboard. They can both swim.

After a few minutes, Nami separates them. You watch her glare at the men before you stalk off to take another nap. The sun is just starting to dip below the water, so finding a nice patch of sun to lick your figurative wounds isn't possible. You'll have to settle for sulking in some weird spot. Perhaps it's time to torment the fish in the tank once more.

Lounging on the sofa is probably the second best place to nap. The sound of the tank constantly humming while you watch the fish swim in tempting circles puts you at ease. You stretch out fully, let your arm and tail hang off the edge. The tip of your tails twitches slightly as you trace the movement of a particularly large bass. That should be tomorrow's lunch, perhaps in a stew. Even though it hasn't been long since you had food, your mouth starts to water at the idea of seafood stew.

"He really doesn't take you seriously, does he?"

You recognize Robin before she even speaks. Her stride is longer than Nami's with her steps being lighter than everyone else's. Not to mention she smells floral. It's never overpowering, but it allows you to pick her out from the crew.

"I guess not. Maybe I should've gone for his other eye."

She laughs, sitting down next to you. You aren't opposed to the company, especially if it's Robin. There something about her that puts you at ease.

"I don't think he'd like that," she muses. "What did he say to you?"

You scoff. "He didn't say anything. Bet he's too proud to take me seriously, like the jerk he is."

Robin smiles knowingly. "I'm sure he has his reasons. Maybe you should talk to him, just the two of you. I'm sure he'd tell you when no one else is around."

You frown. "What is he? A shy school boy? There's only one reason for not taking me seriously in a fight, and it would be him not thinking I'm even worth it. No point in having him tell me that in private, he can just keep it to himself."

She reaches out her hand, gently brushing your hair from your eyes. "Then what do you think about him?"

"I think he's an idiot who swapped out his brain for more muscles."

"Let me rephrase that. What feelings do you have about him?" There's a mischievous twinkle in her eyes. "At least figure that out."

You shift so you can place your head in her lap. "I guess he's fine most of the time. I don't know why I enjoy his company, I just do. He's never really pushed me on anything, just sort of letting me do my own thing. Not to mention he's comfortable. As much as I hate admitting it, I suppose I like being around him."

She continues to brush your hair with her fingers silently. It's one of those tactics of hers. She'll stay quiet until you keep talking.

"What do you want me to say? He's nice enough to me, I can respect him as vice-captain, and he's decent looking. Everything else I think about him is my little secret." You're starting to get irritated talking about him. "Actually, I think I'll go talk to him now. I'll drag that answer out of him if I have to."

Robin looks at you with worry as you sit up. "Perhaps this is just a misunderstanding. What are you going to do if his answer isn't what you expect?"

"I'll deal with it when it happens," you say with a shrug. "It's not like it'll be anything surprising."

You take your time wandering around the ship. It's not hard to tell where he is, you'd rather put it off for a little bit longer. This weird feeling in your chest has been bothering you a lot lately. It can't be ignored anymore, but that doesn't mean you're one hundred percent ready to admit it.

Thankfully, he's exactly where you knew he was. You won't tell him that you enjoy finding him when he's working out. Something about him being shirtless is nice. Not that he usually bothers with wearing a shirt, so you can usually just stare whenever you want. Maybe he just likes the attention, and you'll gladly give it to him.

As soon as he leans back on the bench, you sit on his lap and stretch out over his torso. You rest your chin on your hand, pressing your palm on his chest. Watching as he sets the barbell back on the stand, you wait for him to start talking. It would be fine with you if he kept working out, but he seems opposed to the idea.

"Is bothering me amusing to you?"

You tilt your head slightly. "You're not cute when you're mad, so no. I was just hoping we could talk."

"You don't have to sit on me to talk."

"That's just personal preference. Besides, you tend to avoid talking about certain things and this keeps you from leaving." you say with a Cheshire grin. "I enjoy your touch, so this is ideal for me."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Zoro looks away from you. “You keep saying weird stuff.”

You don’t even blink as you respond, “I enjoy your touch. That’s what that means. I’ll even be nice and tell you the answer to your question from earlier. As a cat, I sometimes purr when I feel comfortable and content. Though some cats purr when scared.”

“So you’re scared of me? Is that what that means?”

“No. The only thing particularly scary about you is the fact that you’re an idiot.” Your ears twitch. “But since I answered your questions, you can answer mine. Why don’t you fight me seriously?”

He looks at you for just a moment, before looking at the ceiling. It’s like he’s embarrassed by the answer and is hoping you’ll forget about it. However, you’ve already made up your mind about what you want. You’re just waiting to see what he’ll do.

“I-,” Zoro cuts himself off to hide behind his hand. “I could hurt you really bad. That would be bad.”

Your tail swishes on the ground in mild irritation. “So you think I’m incapable of defending myself. That would explain the times you’ve interrupted my fights.”

“It’s not that!” He sits up, wrapping an arm around your waist to make sure you don’t tumble to the ground. “I don’t want you to get hurt if I’m around. It’s my job to make sure you’re safe.”

You’re nose to nose with him now. Even at this distance, he can’t seem to make eye contact. You can smell the liquor from dinner on his breath. It would be so easy to close the gap and kiss him, but for some reason the thought makes you nervous. You’re usually close to him, so why is this time different?

“Why should you keep me safe?” you mumble. “Do you save me out of obligation for the crew? If so, aren’t there better people on the crew to swoop in and save?”

“Does it matter why?” The way that his lips almost touch yours as he speaks makes you flustered.

You close your eyes. “Yes. I don’t want to get my hopes up if you think of me as nothing more than a burden of a crew-mate. Just be honest with me for once, Zoro.”

You don’t regret the soft begging tone as you say his name. You regret not saying his name in that almost pathetic tone sooner. The way that he kisses you makes your head spin. Even though he’s holding you close, you have to wrap your arms around his neck to make yourself feel more steady.

Zoro kisses you like he’s been wanting to for months. His hold on your waist makes it impossible to move, and the way that his hand grips yours hair makes you moan. You can barely breathe as his tongue explores your mouth, your grip on reality slipping as his fingers dig into thigh.

Even when he pulls away to let you breathe, you find yourself lost in the way he touches you. Sloppy kisses trail down your jaw and neck, coming to an end with his teeth on your collarbone. The way that his fingernails scrape gently against your scalp as he tugs lightly on your hair causes you to expose more of your chest to him as you lean into his palm.

You’ve never felt like this before. Hot, heavy, and breathless all while being lightheaded. You wouldn’t have it in you to resist him if he wanted more. In fact, the pathetic words of begging him to ravish you weigh heavy on your tongue. Yet he just continues to press kisses along every inch of skin exposed to him, ignoring how hard you’re panting as little moans escape you. He’s oblivious to everything but the act of kissing you.

Zoro only pauses after you tug his hair harshly. You didn’t mean to, you couldn’t help the reaction to him biting down on the side of your neck. You couldn’t even help the strangled groan that leaves you as he leaves a mark. For some reason, your body is shaking like you have some sort of withdrawal.

“You okay?” he asks, his voice rough and low.

You kiss him again, desperate to get as close as you can. Desperation courses through your body as you realize just how badly you’ve waited for this. You’ve spent months being almost attached to him so it makes sense, you just can’t figure out how you missed it. The long nights spent curled up in his lap, face buried in his neck has left you craving him so much.

You whine as he pulls away, unwilling to let this stop. It doesn’t even matter anymore how prideful you’ve been up until this. It’s so obvious how much you want him. Nothing could hide it anymore.

“Zoro.” You don’t even open your eyes. “Please.”

He gives your thigh a tight squeeze as you whimper. You can tell that what little restraint he has is fading with each whine of his name. Yet he’s able to pause and hold you close, breathing heavily into your ear. Eventually, he covers your mouth with his hand, stifling your words.

“Not like this,” Zoro says, his tone meaning he’s serious. “If you really want it, I want to make it special.”

“S-special?” You don’t know what that means. When was the last time someone told you that you were special? “How?”

“Just better than in the exercise room on the Sunny. You deserve to be treated better than that.”

You nod, and he lets his grip loosen. Despite the fact that nothing much happened, you feel drained. Maybe it’s because you really enjoy naps, but the exhaustion is hitting you hard. You don’t hide it, letting yourself go limp as Zoro picks you up.

“You can sleep in my bunk tonight. Not that it matters if I say you can as you usually show up anyway.”

You caress him jaw before giving his cheek a kiss. “Thank you, Zoro.”

The flush on his cheeks goes unnoticed by all beside you. Not that it matters, you don’t want to hide your feelings for him any longer. If he agrees to it, you’ll parade your feelings for the world to see.

[qqueenofhades]

fwiw: a lot of people follow @roach-works who just reblogged yo ur comments on history, books, and authoritarian regimes' inability to indoctrinate entire populations.

I'm an ex classics major with a lot of history under my belt, who knows Rome sutmr under a corrupt oligarchy even when it coughed up a hairball like Nero or Commodus. (Of course, it helped that Rome worked on the pragmatic principle, "How can we keep society and infrastructure functioning, given that positions of power tend to be occupied by the rich & corrupt?" I like to joke that Western Rome never fell; it just became the mafia.)

At any rate, my tendency to see the US through the lens of Rome makes me a pessimist: I assume we'll manage even in a dystopia.

I'm working on expanding my knowledge of world history to counteract that, but it's great to check in with a sane historian who will help me resist crowdsourced panicmongering.

Look, as I have said, I 0% blame anyone for being scared. I'm scared. With no exaggeration or hyperbole, Shit Real Bad, and it's undoubtedly going to get worse, at least in some ways, before we have a chance to make it better. It was completely avoidable, but half of America decided they didn't want to avoid it, so here we are.

Nonetheless, as my last reblog also pointed out, there are still basic historical and critical-thinking skills that we can use here, and to acknowledge that even if it is obviously unprecedented to us, it is not unprecedented to others, and we can study those lessons and think about how to apply them to our own situation. Rome is the obvious model for a world empire brought down by corruption, oligarchy, imperialism, endless foreign wars, income inequality, economic upheaval, excessive militarism, etc etc, but it's not the only one, and the "fall of Rome and start of the Dark Ages" is one of those narratives that gets my premodern-historian rant especially exercised. By the time Rome "fell" in 476, the city of Rome wasn't even the capital of the Empire; the western capital was in Ravenna, northern Italy, and the eastern capital was in Constantinople, where it endured for another thousand years. Roman successor kingdoms were founded in Visigothic Spain, Merovingian Francia, etc., and often imported Roman law, religion, bureaucracy/administration, and nobility relatively unchanged, which is why Latin was the legal, ecclesiastical, and educational language of western Europe until as late as 1962 and Vatican II. The "Dark Ages" are likewise at best an extreme simplification and at worst exceedingly misleading imperial-nostalgia propaganda. Etc etc. I will restrain myself.

Rome dominated the (European/Near Eastern/north African) world in the way that the 19th-century British Empire dominated the actual world and American empire dominates now, at least for the moment, and thus we have to recognize that similar dynamics are at play here in a late-stage imperial decline. However, Rome did not just up and vanish in a puff of smoke one day and never appear again, and we also have to recognize that the end of empires is generally a good thing, historically speaking. Yes, absolutely a turbulent, dangerous, and traumatizing time, especially for those living within the imperial core, but still. There's also the blunt fact that America itself has been responsible for a lot (a LOT) of violent regime change, coups, overthrows, bombings, and other disastrous foreign policy interventions for almost the entirety of its existence, and we can't pretend that we are just the shining beacon of unproblematic truth, freedom, and faith that most conservatives, and a lot of saccharine American-exceptionalism liberals, tend to think. If that comes back to bite us and we have to experience the kind of political and social upheaval that we have arrantly and unrepentantly inflicted on other places in the name of our Superior Right... well.

As for the post about history books (here), that was another attempt to push back against the kind of broad-strokes fearmongering that is often prevalent right now. Again: for completely understandable reasons, but still. There is literally no way on earth that the practice of academic history, or the procession of human events, is going to be destroyed because an orange dumbass and his idiot followers took power in America for eight nonconsecutive years. Even if by some miracle he managed to do it in America and the only thing ever officially published was Heritage Foundation balderdash, a) historians in countries other than America would still be writing books about it, and b) again, literally impossible. To return to the history of Soviet totalitarianism that I was addressing in that post, I suggest that people look into the samizdat, the contraband news and literature widely shared in the USSR. They faced far more stringent conditions than we ever will: the KGB controlled access to all word processors and copiers, precisely because they could be used to spread non-regime-approved information, and dissidents had to write and circulate it by hand. If they were caught, they could be disappeared, sent to the gulag, confined in a psychiatric hospital, subject to intensive "state education," etc. But they still managed to pass it around and read it, and it would be literally impossible for this collection of Trumpster chucklefucks to exert even a fraction of this logistical and physical control, when every citizen already owns a laptop and a smartphone. The history books aren't going anywhere.

That all said, of course we are all hyper-alert and anxious and afraid, and we don't want to miss anything that might be important or dangerous or anything else. I get that, I completely do. But we still have to pace ourselves, we still have to apply critical thought and learn how to educate ourselves when something seems huge and scary and unstoppable, and I am attempting to do a small part of that on a niche blue hellsite that won the social media competition by literally doing nothing while its peers all fell face first into being corporate Nazis. The bar is low. But hey, I'm here, and you're here and you're reading it, and we will get through it. I promise.

Courage, etc.

[brothersfuck]

I love your baby sammy infantilization post and i would just like to add:

bartender/ waitress sees dean putting something in sammy’s drink & pulls him (sam) aside to warn him:

Bartender: Just so you know, I saw that guy you were with slipping something in your drink. do you want me to kick him out?

Sam: yeah i know he’s doing that it’s fine :3

Bt: ?????

sam’s falling asleep and nuzzling up to dean & trying to crawl into his lap like he used to as a kid. dean thinks its so cute that he just has to fuck him.

idk… your posts r so delightful

-🪼

I love the idea that Sam is completely aware Dean is drugging him, but not telling Dean that he knows. Dean thinks he's so sneaky but really, Sam is panting and getting weak at the knees thinking of his big brother roofing his drink,, also thank you for your compliments 🪼anon::)) some kinda continuation under the cut

Sam has known for quite some time now.

Well, not that Dean ever tried to hide it as well as he thought he did. The roofies were one thing, all in the pocket of his most unused leather jacket, the pills cut up in half.

He connected the dots between his ever impending sleepy-times and the fact that Sam is experienced in staying up because of college. He doesn't just start feeling sleepy if he doesn't want to.

Usually after he gets sleepy, Sam doesn't remember anything after. It's fuzzy. Comfortingly fuzzy, like his brain is telling him that he doesn't have to remember.

So when it happens again, Sam lets it happen. No protest, no nothing, just a sly look towards the roofied beer and a tilt of his head, the liquid slipping through his throat, settling in his stomach.

When he starts getting uncomfortably dizzy for one beer, Dean starts doing what he usually does, but this time, Sam will remember. He's sure of it. At least, he can try.

He hears (though muffled) "heyheyhey big guy, okay, come here Sammy. Come here Sammy." He feels (though electrifying) Dean's hand cup his side, guide him out of the bar, and take him to his car.

Dean's head is tilted to look at Sam, smile on his face like he used to when he still looked down on his baby brother from the bars of Sam's crib. He waits for a while, two maybe three minutes, before accepting that Sam probably won't remember any of this.

Sam does.

He promised himself he would.

It's a shock, but not enough that he physically reacts (probably because he's so relaxed) when Dean takes his hand and runs it through Sam's hair, cooing and whispering something about being sleepy.

When a particularly hard tug to his hair because of a knot happens, Sam freezes and his eyes start to water, his mouth opening to produce what he himself can only describe as, at the moment, the crying of an infant.

Dean panics, and he panics hard. "Fu--I mean, I'm sorry Sammy, I'm so sorry Sammy, lemme kiss it to make it better, okay? Come here,"

And Dean does, he does kiss Sam! Because that's his Sammy, and well, Sam quiets down. He doesn't know why he does (just like most of the things he's doing as of late) but he relaxes into the head kiss and whines when Dean's lips leave his hair.

At this point, he's drooling all over himself. Jesus, Sam thinks, the roofies he bought must have been from a hunter.

Sam's head falls backward, and the last thing he remembers is the sound of the engine starting.

When he opens his eyes again, he's in his bed, Dean is sitting on the edge, he could tell before he saw, because Dean does it often.

"Mm..Dee?" It's only been about thirty minutes since the drive back to the bunker, they got here at the fourteen minute mark and Dean had carried Sam like a baby to his bedroom at the sixteen minute mark. Which meant he spent at least fourteen other minutes just staring at Sam drool all over himself while he slept.

He's sporting a hard-on.

Well, can you blame him? Sammy's cute cocksucker lips covered in drool right in front of you, wouldn't you have a hard-on too? Dean asks the unavailable audience in his head.

When he contemplates going to the bathroom and taking care of himself there, he hears and feels Sam shift from his position laying on his back to crawl over (with drool still dripping out of his mouth) and plop his upper body on Dean's lap.

This time, it's Dean who freezes, and shakes, because good lord, fuck, this feels good. He's going to become a true believer in those sleeping pills if things like this keep happening.

Sam's clothes must have ridden up a little, because it's not clothes that press against his covered erection, it's his baby brother's stomach. All bare. Pressing against jeans.

Fuck. He's going to really start worshipping those pills.

He can't think about what he did after, about chuckling and grabbing Sam by the arm, about pulling Sam up and sitting him on his lap, about babying him even though he's even taller when he's sat on his big brother's lap--

Sam can though, and he will, because he was there for the entire thing. Sure, maybe he was off his game and babbling like a baby going "Dee, Dee," while lifting his hips and letting them fall back down on Dean's lap but he doesn't stop thinking about Dean breaking and finally throwing him down on the bed, eyes softening at Sam's confused face, and hands roaming all around and under those clothes.

He also doesn't stop thinking about how good it felt for his brother's cock to fill him in, and how snug it was, like a teddy bear. Doesn't stop thinking about drool coating his chin and eyes rolling back and accidentally calling Dean "dad"

He doesn't stop thinking about how that made Dean cum. Hard.

With that knowledge, Sam makes it his life goal to be as cute and babbly as ever. He's stuttering his words more, whining when he can't reach over the table for some seasoning, tugging at Dean's sleeve to tell him something.

Personally, Dean thinks he's going to hell, but fuck if heaven here didn't feel so good

[drdemonprince]

I have a lifelong hypnokink but for years and years I completely hid it and only engaged through checking the what's new page on the mcstories.com every week and other forms of porn. I have been slowly opening up about it over the last few years and reached out to other people who are into it and I also now have an interested and supportive partner who is starting to explore hypnotic play with me.

I am at the point where I talk pretty openly and earnestly about this with them now (I used to have to really veil it in layers of detached irony and jokes) and we have engaged in roleplay around it which has been very fun, but when we try to engage in actual hypnotic sessions where they try to hypnotise me (even nonsexually) I get these massive waves of shame bubbling up and start crying.

There's a lot of tangled feelings and I don't know how to separate them all out. At least part of it is just feeling ridiculous and stupid for wanting this. And also that I am making them do something weird and awful and gross. This is mixed up with feelings about my own performance as a subject—I am in my own head a lot and constantly second guessing what I'm doing and experiencing and find it difficult to know how to engage with hypnotic suggestions.

The first time we tried I broke down into a sobbing mess before we even started. It has been getting better and my partner has been incredibly sweet and supportive and helped me feel very safe as we make progress on this, but they are also pretty new to all this and I was wondering if you had any advice or insight that might help?

Hi there Anon, I am answering this question on voice to text because it really touched my heart and I wanted to get to it and give it attention right away even though my hands are still pretty busted and it's been a long day. so please excuse any typos or weird homophonic errors.

like you, I was consumed with shame about my hypnosis fetish for a very long time. I knew since I was a very young child that hypnosis called to me, and fantasized about it in a deeply sexual way from very young, but I never said a word about it to another person until my late twenties. and even then it was a pretty fleeting, glancing thing. I found it a lot easier to play online with remote partners than to tell someone that I was in a intimate real-life relationship with. I also retreated into fantasy a lot, never believing that it would be possible for me to share in the kink with another person in a genuine way.

eventually I did meet some really wonderful play partners and Doms who helped me to realize I wasn't alone in harboring this fetish, and really populated my inner world and mental architecture to make me a better subject who was more capable of experiencing pleasure and transformation in hypnosis. but without that good fortune and their mentorship I don't know where I'd be.

One thing that I would recommend to you is locating the hypnosis fetish community and plugging yourself and your partner into it a bit more. there are both in person and digital conferences throughout the world for hypnosis fetishists. The kink's stock is up in a major way, especially thanks to the widespread popularity of pup play and bimbo play that incorporates hypnotic elements. if you are in a major city or on one of the American coasts, there are hypnosis oriented events and groups available to you. I even know of hypnosis fetish groups in relatively small towns like Winnipeg that are thriving and filled with other people.

I think both you and your partner will learn a lot technically about enjoying hypnosis scenes well, and that you'll rid yourself of a lot more of your remaining shame if you can take in some of their resources and really be in community with people who get this desire. hypnosis is a skill that requires a lot of time to develop, and there's really no ceiling to the amount of skill a person can get in it. both being a hypnotist and a subject are really intensive discrete skills, and knowing other people who are honing those skills will really help you and impart you some tips and tricks that could really spare you a lot of pain and give you some new ideas for how to have fun together.

as for the shame and crying freak outs that you are experiencing, it sounds like you are having an abreaction, which is a pretty common form of emotional spillage following an intense hypnotic event. these reactions can happen when we get triggered or a nerve gets struck, but also sometimes they emerge just because we've really plunged into emotional depths or a dark headspace and our brain is freaked out by it and trying to draw us back up.

letting a person into your mind is really intimate and revealing, and when you are embarrassed or ashamed of even wanting that degree of revealment, there are a lot of emotional explosions that can occur. continue to move through this and process it with your partner. if they are enjoying exploring this kink with you, they probably find a lot of value in getting to explore your mind and learn how you react to things, and a lot of intimacy can be built through examining strong reactions and processing freak outs together.

I know that it is hard to believe, but you are not inconveniencing your partner, or putting them out, or failing to make the most of their supposed generosity by not always having an easy and an enthusiastic response to them engaging in hypnosis play with you. these disturbed intense reactions are part of the work, and potentially it can take you to new places together, if you let it.

I think you should probably also continue to explore your own hypnotic capacity on your own, watching spirals, listening to hypnotic audio files, meditating, writing mantras in a notebook or on a website such as Write for Me, and learning carefully how to bring yourself down into a trance, as well as how to bring yourself out. if you haven't yet, you and your partner should read books on hypnotic techniques and safeties; Mark Wiseman and sleepinggirl's books are probably the best place to start.

One of the things I was really fortunate to experience early on was having a Dom who installed safeties into my mind that force me to articulate when I am feeling unsafe and bring myself out of a trance automatically regardless of whatever the hypnotist is doing or if there's even another person there. I really believe that every hypnotic subject should have these kinds of safeties put in place early on and have them reinforced regularly so that they are ultimately able to pull the rip cord on any suggestion or mental state that is damaging to them.

beyond that, I'd say just keep working at it. if anything, these strong emotions that you're having are a demonstration of how powerful and significant this kind of stuff can be. hypnosis is heady fucking stuff. and that's part of what's so hot and enchanting about it. this stuff is real. it's a level of profound control and knowledge that you're giving over to a partner when you do this stuff, and that alone can be incredibly rewarding to them, even if they didn't have a hypnosis kink before they met you. what you are doing is not silly or disgusting, nor is it a waste of a partner's time. It is a beautiful, really really intimate gift. really. a lot of new people have gotten into hypnosis in the last few years because it is such a flexible and vulnerable kink that really pushes a lot of sexual and emotional buttons. any partner who shares in this activity with you is lucky to get to do so, you have nothing to apologize for or feel ashamed about. I hope you have a really enriching time with this. this is a very special part of you and a very special way to connect. I hope you can enjoy it for all that it is, even in its darker and scarier moments.

[uceyliyahh]

SNEAKY LINK

Summary: After having a one night stand with each other Kiyana and Jey decided to become sneaky links until she grew attached to him will he be able to feel the same as her?

smut warning; it’ll come in the story randomly so PLEASE PLEASE look out for it I’m not really good at writing ✍🏽 smuts but I’m improving at the moment.

Jey Uso x Kiyana

word count: 5063

AWFUL GRAMMAR IM GETTING BETTER I SWEAR LOL.

comments, likes, repost are appreciated I would love the constructive feedback in what area I need to approve in. 🤍

ALSO! I don’t not want nobody stealing my fanfics or take it as theirs that will be an issue fasho so keep it cute respectfully.

I only own my OC along with the make up scenarios

But I’ll be writing along the way since this story is in my drafts on Wattpad right now so yuh. 💁🏽‍♀️

TAGS ⬇️ lmk if you wanna be tag 🏷️@pinkwithhearts @420days @jstarr86 @empressdede @angiedawn02 @biancasreign @clubsoft

@bebesobrielo @skyesthebomb @aikosilo @papireigns-05 @punksyeet @paigereeder @magnificentbouquetmusic @tribalhoochie

@charmed-dreamssss @fearlesschimera @partypoison00 @mselenalovebug @bloodlinesbabe93 @justazzi @xbriexx @luvrsluxe @celesteheartsjey @4milly @luuvprincess @yyaktayak @yana3sworld @raya-hunter01 @lilucey @soccergirlbae

Ø3

"I just want you to be careful sis, I know he's my best friend but if he hurts you I'll end up hurting him,"

"You know I can take care of you better than that Uso over there,"

"Let's go out for dinner sweetheart,"

"The fuck is yo' problem Kiyana?"

KIYANA Today marks a significant moment for me as I prepare to strut down the runway for the fashion show. To say I'm feeling nervous would be an understatement; it's been quite some time since I last walked a runway—around three years, in fact. The anticipation for tonight is building, and I can't help but feel a mix of excitement and anxiety.

I had no photoshoots scheduled today because Nathan insisted I concentrate on my runway performance for tonight's fashion show. So, I spent the day at home, enjoying some healthy snacks while watching TV. Suddenly, my phone buzzed, and I picked it up to find a message from Liv.

IMESSAGE 💬 Liv🌸: heyyyy girly tonight is your night girl how are you feeling? Yana💗: I'm feeling pretty nervous for today you know just gives me the jitters Liv🌸: you got this girl, I heard it was going to be a lot of folks there too so you better work girl Yana💗: thanks girly you're so supportive of me Liv🌸: you're my best friend ofc I'm going to support you in the end girl, so what's tea? Yana💗: about? Liv🌸: you and Jey what's happening? Yana💗: nothing really he's been sending me gifts lately and spoiling me like I'm his girl when he's dealing with someone already ain't that weird? Liv🌸: yeah that's weird he should be spoiling Jaida and not you Yana💗: I mean I don't mind it but it's too much honestly you know? Liv🌸: yeah especially yall aren't a couple only sneaky links Yana💗: idk if he's tryna put me in that category of women but it's not happening Liv🌸: I understand so how are you truly feeling about this? Like be honest with me Yana💗: if I'm being honest with you I might have caught feelings for him but it comes and goes especially when I realize that he's dealing with her all those feelings go away Liv🌸: so basically losing and gaining feelings for him again? Yana I don't want this to ruin your mental you're a sweet girl who deserves someone to love on you not just someone who fucks you whenever they please. Yana💗: I hear you bestie but I'm focused on my career that's important to me and whatever he got goin on is none of my business Liv🌸: period I'm glad this whole situation is not tearing you down and I think Cody knows about it... Yana💗: WHAT? Liv🌸: yeah he asked me about today at work I told him I don't what's happening between you and his best friend so he said he'll swing by to see you Yana💗: damn it...I mean he's my brother older brother at that he has every right to know so I'll just talk to him about it. Liv🌸: alrighty girl lmk how it goes and I'll see you tonight! Love you Yana💗: love you too

I was caught off guard by Cody's awareness of the situation. It's likely he saw the pictures of Jey and me shared with my close friends. I should have removed him from that list to prevent this from happening. I set my phone aside and focused on my meal, patiently waiting for Cody to arrive so we could discuss the unfolding drama between Jey and me.

I haven't received any word from him since his visit a few days back, but honestly, I don't mind at all. He's not my partner, and I certainly wasn't his girlfriend—it's as straightforward as that. While enjoying my meal, I heard a knock at the door. Recognizing it was Cody, I paused my show and made my way to the door.

As I swung the door open, I was greeted by the sight of my big brother, a bouquet of flowers in his hand and a warm smile on his face. He stepped inside, handing me the flowers with a cheerful demeanor, and I placed them gently on the table.

We settled onto opposite ends of the couch, my legs crossed as I patiently awaited his words.

"Hey, my wonderful sister how are you feeling for today?" Cody asked.

I sighed deeply, "if I'm being honest, I feel nervous for tonight brother," I said.

"You'll do great tonight out there sis even mom will be proud of you when she sees you," I gave him a smile knowing that my brother got my back.

"So what's goin on between you and Jey Yana?" I knew he was going to get straight to it I couldn't lie to my brother that's his best friend of course, "We are just messing around with each other," His facial expressions changed into a confusing one.

"Don't beat around the bush with it sis I understand you're a grown woman,"

I shared with him the story of my night at the club with Jey, revealing how I ended up losing my virginity to him in his hotel room. I also mentioned that Jey and I have developed a secret connection, navigating our relationship as sneaky links.

"Sneaky links?" He asked as I nodded my head.

"Yeah, but we get to live our lives separately and have no strings attached," I said.

"I just want you to be careful sis, I know he's my best friend but if he hurts you I'll end up hurting him," I can understand where my brother was coming from he's been protecting me all of his life since we were kids since we didn't have a father in our lives Cody would do anything for me.

"I understand brother I'm very focused on my career right now and not worried about what he has going on with his shawty," Cody gave me a faint smile knowing that I wasn't letting this get to me especially mentally.

I must admit that I had a bit of a crush on him, but as I explained to Liv, my feelings were quite inconsistent. I realized that he likely didn't share the same feelings, especially considering his current situation with Jaida.

I refused to let myself be foolish over something unattainable and not rightfully mine, so I couldn't understand why he was so worked up about it. Cody lingered a bit longer to fill me in on his journey in wrestling and his rise to becoming a champion, and I couldn't be prouder of him.

I've been caught up in my modeling career lately, which has kept me out of the loop with all the wrestling happenings. Thankfully, my brother has been there to fill me in on everything. After a while, I received a message from Jey himself, but I made him wait while I listened to my brother's updates.

My phone buzzed incessantly with his messages, reminiscent of a needy boyfriend craving attention, prompting me to roll my eyes and silence the notifications.

"Is that Jey texting you?" Cody asked.

"Yeah, but I didn't want to be rude since you were talking to me about what's been happening," I said.

"It's all good little sis, just see what he wants," I pulled out my phone seeing messages from him.

Big Papa😩 sent four messages

Big Papa😩: wya mama? Big Papa😩: I miss you today is your big day Big Papa😩: I'll be there after I deal with things with shawty Big Papa😩: You ignoring me?

IMESSAGE 💬 Yana💗: no I wasn't ignoring you sir I was busy talking to my brother Big Papa😩: Aw Aight I was just making sure Yana💗: even if I was it would be for a good reason but I don't have a good reasoning right now Big Papa😩: mhm wya tho? Yana💗: I'm at home eating something healthy and talking to Cody Big Papa😩: why you didn't tell me Cody was your brother? Yana💗: you never asked? 🤨 Big Papa😩: don't get smart little girl Yana💗: whatever nigga what you want actually? Big Papa😩: I'm tryna see you I know you miss me Yana💗: I miss the thought of you 😭 Big Papa😩: you don't be saying that when I be fucking you screaming daddy this and daddy that Yana💗: 🙄 Big Papa😩: that's what I thought now lemme come see you Yana💗: you gon have to wait until Cody leaves Big Papa😩: that's my dawg he already know what's happening between us Yana💗: I mean I already told him our situation..he's very protective over me so be careful just saying Big Papa😩: why? It's not like I'm hurting you or anything we aren't a couple just giving each other what we need.

Ouch well that makes great sense to me.

Yana💗: yeah, ofc even when I'm not in the mood you got someone to help you out with that 😭😭 Big Papa😩: you been talking reckless what's up with that? Yana💗: no reason Big Papa😩: mhm I'm otw Yana💗: k

 I set my phone aside, rolling my eyes as I noticed the worry etched on Cody's face. "Are you okay, Yana?" he asked, his concern evident. I nodded and offered him a reassuring smile.

"Yeah, it seems like Jey is coming over to see me," I said.

"That's good I could speak to him before approaching you," he said.

I anticipated this situation, but I have no complaints. After all, he's my brother, and it's only natural for him to look out for his little sister.

"You wanna watch this show with me while we wait on him?"

"Yeah, let's go ahead and watch it," Cody said as I unpaused the show.

༊*·˚

JEY Kiyana's behavior has changed noticeably since my visit to her house a few days ago. I couldn't quite grasp the reason behind it; I initially thought she was simply prioritizing her career over the complications with me and Jaida.

I understand that she's likely feeling anxious about her fashion show tonight, so I decided not to press her about her unusual behavior and the reckless things she's been saying to me. As I arrived at her house and noticed Cody's car parked beside hers, I turned off my engine and stepped out, making my way to the front door.

I rapped on the door, anticipating either her or Cody to answer. As I waited, I scrolled through my social media, liking various pictures, particularly those from Jaida's profile. It was during this time that I noticed Kiyana had recently updated her story.

yanasworld posted on their story!

I was really taken aback by that tweet she shared in her story. What on earth was she trying to convey? Is there a deeper reason for her behavior, or is she simply indifferent to the situation?

I couldn't believe my eyes as the door swung open, revealing Cody with a bright smile. It looked like he was about to head out, but then he unexpectedly pulled me aside. What could his intentions be?

"What's up Uce," I said.

Cody stated, "I understand the dynamics between you and my sister, but I need to emphasize something important. Don't allow this situation to jeopardize her career; there will be repercussions. She has an incredibly promising future ahead, and I can't stand by while my best friend puts that at risk."

My face twisted in confusion when he said that. "What do you mean by that? I'm not trying to hurt her; I'm just enjoying myself," I argued.

"It's important to be mindful of her feelings. As her brother, I understand how sensitive she can be, always longing for things she can't have. So, please, do me a favor and tread lightly." I completely get where he's coming from; if I had a sister in Kiyana's position, I would want to protect her just the same.

As he approached his car, we embraced warmly before he climbed inside. I turned and walked into the house, noticing Kiyana was nowhere to be found. After shutting the door behind me, I slipped off my shoes and neatly placed them on the shoe rack. Then, I made my way upstairs to her bedroom.

As I opened the door, I found her nestled in bed, curled up tightly under the blankets, seemingly engrossed in her phone. I slipped into the bed beside her, gently wrapping my arms around her waist, which made her flinch at my unexpected touch.

"Jesus, Jey you can't be sneaking up on folks like that boy," I laughed as she spoke, gently flipping her around so that she could look at me directly.

I found myself captivated by every detail of her face, gently resting my hand on her cheek and stroking it softly with my thumb. Her smile, which I cherished deeply, lit up the moment. Yet, a part of me recognized that this was merely playful banter; after all, I had Jaida waiting for me at home.

I pressed my lips gently against hers, and to my surprise, she leaned in, drawing her body closer to mine. As we began to kiss passionately, I realized this was a new experience for me. I had never been this tender with her before, perhaps influenced by the words Cody shared with me before he departed.

As our mouths intertwined, my tongue danced within hers while her fingers glided through my mullet. I reveled in the sensation of my hands roaming over her body, firmly grasping her curves. It was a passionate struggle, our tongues vying for control in a heated exchange.

I dragged her onto my lap, straddling me, and as she ground against me, I planted nothing but moist kisses on her neck, causing her to moan softly in my ear, which made my dick rise in my perspiration.

As our lips lingered in a passionate embrace, a thought suddenly struck me about something she had shared on her story. I gently pulled away from the kiss, my eyes drawn to her beautiful face.

"What's up with this quote you posted on your story mama? Did I do something?" I asked as she shook her head.

Kiyana reassured him, "It's not your fault; I'm just experiencing these feelings at the moment, that's all." Deep down, she was aware that the quote she had shared was aimed at him, but she felt compelled to conceal the truth.

She nodded with a smile, reassuring him, "I just wanted to ensure everything was fine between us. "Yes, we're good, Jey." Though uncertainty lingered in my mind about her words, I hesitated to press her further.

I felt my dick pop up and strike her in the butt as I began to untie the thread around her sweatpants and take them off of her along with her underwear.

Once more, my hands were stroking her face—she is so gorgeous. I haven't even touched her yet, but I could feel her hot pussy oozing for me. She got up and aligned herself with my dick within her entrance, making us both groan loudly as we felt how warm she was inside.

She was jumping up and down on my dick, hanging onto my chest for support so she wouldn't fall, and her eyes were dark and full of need, just like mine.

"Ouuu, fuck. Daddy...your dick is so prefect for me," Kiyana moaned as I gave her left ass cheek a few slaps.

"Yeah? Keep on bouncing on it you'll get a reward from daddy princess," I responded back to her.

 Following our time together, we nestled closely in her bed, relishing the intimacy of the moment we had just shared. She remained silent, gently toying with my hair, creating a serene atmosphere that spoke volumes without words

I found it concerning that she was so quiet; it suggests that something is troubling her, and she may not be ready to discuss it.

"What's on yo' mind mama? you seem quiet," I asked her as she gazed up at me.

I could hear her take a deep breath before she finally spoke, "Jey, I'm really anxious about tonight. What if I mess up out there or something?" It was surprising to hear her express such nerves, especially since she had been performing for years. Why was she feeling this way? 

"Mama I think you'll do great out there don't doubt yourself for a second aight? You're perfect," Her smile lit up the room, casting a spell that captivated me completely. I gently pressed a tender kiss on her temple, savoring the moment, before leaning in for another kiss on her lips.

It quickly escalated into another passionate moment as she embraced me, her arms around my neck while I held her at the hip. She was simply flawless. Just then, I felt my phone vibrating, interrupting our intimate connection.

"Hey, someone's calling you I'll be back I gotta get ready for tonight," she said as she got up from her bed heading towards the bathroom.

I answered the phone, recognizing Jaida's voice, and immediately knew it was her reaching out to me.

OTP Babygirl💋: hiii daddy wya Jey🖤: I'm over here at a friends house chilling what's up? Babygirl💋: what friend? Is it that girl Kiyana? You fucking her? Jey🖤: nah baby I wouldn't do that to you, she's nothing to me compare to you Babygirl💋: good I can't wait to see you I miss that big dick of yours Jey🖤: I miss you too baby I'll see you after I leave from here aight? Babygirl💋: okay daddy see you Jey🖤: aight then baby

CALL ENDED

I could hear the shower running, which led me to believe she was enjoying a long soak. As I got up from her bed and slipped into the clothes I had worn earlier, the sound of music wafted from the bathroom. I couldn't help but chuckle to myself as I grabbed my keys and made my way downstairs, eager to see Jaida before Kiyana's fashion show tonight.

༊*·˚

OMNISCIENT Kiyana was overwhelmed with thoughts, particularly about the conversation she overheard between Jey and Jaida just before she stepped into the shower. The way Jey was playing with her emotions left her feeling unsettled, especially since she was already grappling with her own inner turmoil regarding her feelings for him.

Kiyana dismissed the thought, determined not to let anything divert her attention tonight. As she sat in the makeup chair, she watched the other women preparing for the show, each one radiating excitement and energy. Yet, amidst the bustling atmosphere, she felt a profound sense of loneliness, longing for Nathan to be there with her in this moment.

She was thrilled to learn that Fka Twigs would be opening the show tonight. The thought of her favorite artist taking the stage brought a smile to her face. It was going to be an exciting night filled with famous faces, including her best friend, her brother, and the Uso's.

She felt an overwhelming weight in her mind and heart, grappling with emotions for a man who was ultimately out of reach. Jey's actions stirred a longing within her that she had secretly desired for so long, and now that it was within her grasp, the realization that she couldn't have it was devastating.

"Ladies! This evening is your chance to showcase your talents and open doors to new opportunities, so let your brilliance shine tonight!" Kevin encouraged us, and we all erupted in cheers of excitement.

The initial group of girls, adorned in their outfits, radiated beauty like diamonds just as the show was about to commence. The enchanting sound of Twig's voice filled the air, creating a magical atmosphere. Suddenly, she felt a gentle tap on her shoulder, prompting her to turn around.

Nathan and Patrice stood behind her, holding a bouquet of roses and cards, which made her smile as she embraced them warmly.

"Oh my goodness I thought I wasn't going to see you guys tonight!" Kiyana said.

Nathan exclaimed, "Why on earth would we skip your spectacular night strutting down the runway, looking absolutely breathtaking? Kevin even allowed me to choose your outfits for the evening!" She gasped, her hand flying to her mouth in surprise.

"Really? You're kidding?" Nathan shook his head he was being serious about it Kiyana placed the bouquet of roses and cards on her table before getting up from the chair that's when Kevin approached them.

"Kiyana, sweetheart, you'll be right behind Jazmine over there. Just keep your confidence high and shine out there!" Kiyana nodded as Nathan approached her, bringing the beautiful angelic wings for her to wear, perfectly fitting the theme for the evening.

She gazed into the mirror, adjusting her voluminous afro and ensuring her makeup was flawless. After sharing a final embrace with Nathan and Patricia, she stepped behind Jazmine, who greeted her with a cheerful wave.

Kiyana silently prayed, wishing to maintain her composure on the runway and to block out the negative energy swirling around her. As the line dwindled, she found herself inching closer to the stage, peering over Jazmine's head. There, she spotted her brother, her mother, Liv, and the Uso's seated together, captivated by Fka Twigs' enchanting performance.

She was taken aback to find Jey there, especially after spending time with Jaida just before he arrived with his brother. She had assumed he would remain with Jaida, but she chose not to let it affect her.

Jazmine followed the other girl as she returned, leaving Kiyana feeling anxious and isolated. Her nerves seemed to slip away as she caught a glimpse of Jey, who was watching her. However, she quickly averted her eyes, choosing instead to focus on the runway ahead. As she walked confidently, she lost herself in the rhythm of the music, holding hands with Fka and strutting her stuff like a true star.

She paused to flaunt her outfit, blowing a kiss to the audience before retreating backstage to change clothes, preparing to make her return.

She swiftly changed her clothes with Nathan and Patrice’s assistance, slipping into a stunning outfit he had chosen for her, adorned in elegant white and gold.

"You look absolutely stunning Yana," Patrice said.

 "I can't express how grateful I am to see all of you here with me; it completely eased my nerves," she exclaimed, wrapping them in a brief hug before returning to her place behind Jazmine, who praised her outfit.

༊*·˚ As the show concluded, Kiyana slipped into her after-party dress, exhaustion washing over her from the night's events. Just then, she heard someone calling her name. Turning around, she was greeted by the sight of her best friend, her brother, their mother, and the Uso's entering the room.

"Oh my god Yana you looked so good tonight you did your thing out there girl!" Liv exclaimed as she hugged Kiyana.

"Thank you I was nervous you guys, yall don't even know," Kiyana said as she smiled at her mother who was giving her a hug along with her brother.

As she completed her task, she noticed Jey approaching with a bouquet of her favorite flowers. How many roses could one person possibly need? With a smile, she accepted the flowers and wrapped her arms around him in a warm embrace.

"You looked gorgeous tonight, walking out like that," Jey said placing a soft kiss on her cheek.

Gratefulness filled her voice as she expressed her thanks, "I truly appreciate it." Meanwhile, the group opted to grab some drinks while Kiyana engaged in conversation with her new friends, all the while sensing a pair of eyes intently observing her every action.

She suddenly felt a tap on her shoulder, causing her to pause mid-sentence, thinking it was Jey. However, when she turned around, she was taken aback to find a towering man, standing at 6'3", right behind her.

"May I help you?"

"Yes , you can actually," he said getting her hand while placing a soft kiss on it.

The man exuded an undeniable charm, with his strikingly handsome features complemented by his captivating eyes. Their beauty was almost ethereal, resembling sparkling diamonds that seemed to hold a world of wonder within them.

"I couldn't help but to find you looking absolutely stunning tonight down the runway," Kiyana had smiled at him as the girls left her alone with him.

"Thank you, I don't know how many compliments I can take for tonight it's getting me all worked up," she said.

Jey observed the scene unfold, his heart sinking as he watched her smile at another man. The sight of her giggling and flirting with someone else stirred a wave of jealousy within him. He realized he couldn't just stand by; he needed to take action.

He tuned into their discussion, eager to decipher the subtle hints the guy was dropping about Kiyana. Jey watched as he drew Kiyana in by her waist, leaning into whisper something in her ear that Jey could almost hear.

"You know I can treat you better than that Uso over there," Aaron whispered pointing directly at Jey.

Kiyana arched an eyebrow, scrutinizing the man as she challenged his motives. "Oh? Is that so? What exactly do you mean by that?" she inquired, her tone sharp, while he let out a soft chuckle in response.

"Let me take you out to dinner sweetheart," he said.

Kiyana and Jey locked eyes, and he gestured for her to join him, wanting to have a private conversation away from the crowd. She informed the man that she would return shortly and moved toward Jey, who gently took her arm and led her away.

Cody and Jimmy exchanged knowing glances as they observed the scene unfolding before them, fully aware that a pivotal moment was on the verge of occurring between the two.

In a deserted hallway, Kiyana abruptly pulled her arm from Jey's grasp, casting him a bewildered look that suggested he had lost his mind.

"The fuck is yo' problem Kiyana?" Jey questioned her.

"What do you mean What is my problem? I haven't done anything wrong," she said.

"You know what the hell I'm talking about Kiyana you got this fool all up in yo' face while I'm here," Kiyana couldn't understand the source of his sudden attitude; after all, he had merely invited her to dinner.

Suddenly, it dawned on her—Jey was feeling jealous. Jealous that another man was engaging with her, particularly if it wasn’t him or her brother Cody. She stood there, arms crossed, shooting him a piercing glance. "Jey, you can't be serious right now! I believed we agreed to live our lives independently and be with whoever we choose in this arrangement."

"But you know yo' ass been mine since you walk into the club you've been mine Kiyana now this bitch ass boy wanna be all over you and you entertaining the shit," She couldn't believe what she was hearing right now.

"What I do with someone is not your damn business Jey just like how I don't be saying shit when you're with Jaida I mind my fucking business so you should do the same hell he could probably treat me better than you can," He felt a profound pain within, but he masked it well. Approaching her, he gently encircled her throat with his hand, locking his gaze onto hers.

"Don't fucking play with me Kiyana saying shit like that knowing I'll fuck yo' shit up," Her emotions begin to blossom as she observes his possessive and dominant nature, as he asserts his claim over her despite the absence of an official relationship.

She was grappling with her emotions regarding him, struggling against the inner turmoil of her feelings. Yet, she had to face the reality that he was already in a relationship. So, what could possibly explain his confusing behavior?

"Really? Probably have to remind me then, like I said whoever I'm with is none of your business—" Kiyana experienced the intensity of his lips pressing against hers, the kiss passionate and fervent as he lifted her by the thighs, carrying her toward his car, completely oblivious to the party around them.

By the time they arrived at his car, he had opened the door and pushed Kiyana into the back seat before slamming the door shut behind him as he began removing his shredded pants and underwear, revealing his dick.

"Take these fucking panties off and hold yo' legs, I'm finna remind you that you're mine and only fucking mine," Jey said with aggression in his voice that send shivers down her spine.

He slipped her dress over her stomach and slammed himself inside of her, causing her to wail loudly as he began giving her his harsh strokes with his hand wrapped around her throat.

"J-Jey..W-wait...fuck," Kiyana moaned.

"Ain't no fucking wait to late for that, I gotta put you in yo' place and you better not run from me either you hear me?" He grunted.

When she didn't respond to him she earned a slap on her left ass cheek causing her to whine, "Yess I hear you I hear you fuckk," she threw her head back in pleasure while Jey was beating up her gummy walls.

Kiyana realized at that moment that he was determined to hold on to this situation with unwavering resolve.

Sneaky Link

uceyjucey, americannightmarecody, aaron_pierre1, and others liked your post.

yanasworld: After Party 😘 uceyjucey: remember you mines mama 🤫 yanasworld: @ uceyjucey I know I'm yours 🖤 americannightmarecody: @ uceyjucey y'all two good? uceyjucey: @ americannightmarecody yeah we good uce aaron_pierre1: damn you're so gorgeous baby 🙂‍↕️ yanasworld: @ aaron_peirre1  thank you 💗 jonathanfatu: you did great out there Kiyana ❤️ yaonlylivonce: period my best friend ate yall up i loved the fashion show bestie 🥹 yanasworld: @ yaonlylivonce thank you bestie 💗 biancabelairwwe: i saw a clip of you and girrrl you looked gorgeous honey trinity_fatu: looking stunning as ever

Read all Comments.

uceyjucey posted on his close friends!

jonathanfatu replied to your close friends: Uce what I say dawg be careful dawg Kiyana does not like to be in drama biancabelairwwe replied to your close friends: Ooop 👀👀 I'm sensing drama??? trinity_fatu replied to your close friends: Jey? What's goin on with you and Kiyana? yaonlylivonce replied to your close friends: sir??? americannightmarecody replied to your close friends; remember what I told you earlier today about my sister romanreigns replied to your close friends: what's happening rn? u ain't fucking with Jaida anymore?

A/n: that dinner is still on the table will Kiyana go to the dinner with Aaron or will her feelings betray her because of Jey? Finna get messy I'll tell you that.

Hope yall enjoy this chapter Lmk in the comments below

STAY UCEY

2.

[riftdancing]

Hey...

I know its been a while and I don't usually talk about my IRL on here. I've mentioned briefly in passing that I've been struggling lately and I have every intention of coming back here to continue interacting and posting content.

This is still true.

It is my every intention to resume content soon, but it might be a slow process.

I've been trying to reblog a lot of content but you might notice it doesn't have my usual comments in the tags. That's because I'm just trying to get in the habit of being around this space again and supporting the work I find inspiring. I'm working my way up to leaving comments, but that's a lot of energy from me at the moment.

So I'm starting small.

If you're curious about where I've been, last fall I had a whole bunch of health problems arise that honestly should have put me in the ER (according to my Doctors.) ...But I'm also a stubborn idiot who worked in health care for a few years so I was a dumb ass who didn't go to the ER. ...As a result my current doctor repeatedly stresses at even the most minor inconvenience if I can't get a hold of her now that I should go to the ER because she knows how stubborn I am.

I won't get into what happened or the details of treatment, but I will touch on the fact that as a result of my treatment my hormones went insane for a few months and while my hormones were raging and I was learning to control and understand new felt emotions... the last place on earth I should have been at that time was social media. So I took an extended break, only popping in here and there to deliver on some screenshots.

I'm still kinda... navigating that emotional space, but I also started therapy in November and I've been doing a lot better since with the help of my therapist. So, I'm feeling a bit more socially confident in post.

With some other stuff being resolved, its my plan to get back into the game with this coming patch and live letter. I've really missed being here and in game, and I hope I have a lot to share with you for the rest of the year.

My plan is to slowly start interacting again so I wanted to ask if you could please interact back! I have RSD (Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria) which can make it hard for me to come back into spaces like this and I sometimes struggle to understand if I'm still accepted in a space. Your interactions help me to understand that I'm welcome and wanted here so any sort of interaction, be it on tumblr, discord, or whatever, is always deeply appreciated.

Lets make 2025 a great year!

[bellaxgiornata]

Want to Know You Better 1:|Bad Impressions

Pairing: Jax Teller x Fem!Reader Word Count: 4.3k [Series Masterlist] [Jax Teller Masterlist]

Warnings/tags: 18+; investigative journalist!Reader, bodyguard!Jax, enemies to lovers, canon typical violence, canon divergence, eventual smut, slow burn, angst

summary: For over a year you had been tracking Aleksander Petrova through California–a Russian crime lord known to abduct sex workers for his trafficking ring. Seven months ago, he disappeared from the L.A. area, but a series of missing women in Northern California catches your attention, drawing you to Charming in the hopes of linking enough evidence together to once again get the FBI involved. But when the Sons’ President makes a terrible first impression before inserting himself into your work, your investigation turns into more than you anticipated.

a/n: I couldn't resist an enemies to lovers fic with Jax also determined to stubbornly be Readers' self-appointed bodyguard. I'm very much in the Jax mindset lately... Feedback and reblogs are appreciated!

tag list: @kmc1989

“Well, it has been a bit, man,” Happy agreed with Opie.

Jax took a pull off of his beer as the table of Sons around him broke into a fit of laughter at his expense. The thunderous noise of their amusement drowned out the classic rock playing in the bar they’d settled at tonight. For once they found themselves drinking somewhere other than at the clubhouse. Tonight, they were at The Alley, a dive bar in downtown Charming. Having just finished a meeting here with Marks, they had all collectively decided to stay and enjoy a few more rounds before heading back.

Jax rolled his eyes at the Sons’ teasing, not exactly taking their bullshit personally. They’d had a rough past few weeks and were just trying to unwind for the night. He knew that.

“Got nothin’ to say in your defense, Jackie boy?” Chibs asked, clapping a hand on his shoulder. “Ya suddenly gone celibate?”

Swallowing down his beer, Jax shrugged as he lowered the bottle back to the table. A smug grin drew itself over his lips before he answered. “What can I say? I’ve just been busy,” he told the guys. “Pussy hasn’t exactly been top priority on my mind lately.”

A round of disbelief flew from around the table next, the noise only causing Jax’s grin to grow wider. It was true, though. He really hadn’t been concerning himself with getting laid over the past few weeks, too focused and stressed over club business to have even thought about it. He honestly had been so caught up in everything that he hadn’t even realized how long it had been since he’d last taken a girl to his bed.

“Maybe you’re losing your touch,” Bobby joked.

“Or you’re just going soft on us, Pres,” Tig quipped. 

One of Jax’s brows arched up onto his forehead at that comment. Going soft? Now that was absolute bullshit. 

“Don’t be a jackass,” Jax replied. “I’m not losing nothing, and I sure as shit have not gone soft, Tig.”

A glint of mischief surfaced in Tig’s eyes at Jax’s response. He leaned forward, resting his elbows along the table as a teasing grin slipped onto his face. “Oh no?” he questioned. “You haven’t? You…willing to make a bet on that, Jax?”

Jax settled back in his chair, his hands folding in front of himself as he studied the man. The entire table of Sons had fallen silent at Tig’s question, intrigue hanging thick between them all. Jax never backed down from a challenge, they all knew that. 

“Yeah,” Jax answered easily. “I am. What do you have in mind, Tig?”

“Oh, shit,” Opie muttered with a chuckle, running a hand through his beard.

“Now this is getting good,” Chibs added, gesturing his beer at Tig. “Let’s hear it, brother.”

Tig straightened in his chair, his focus remaining fixed on Jax across the table from him. That mischievous glint in his eye hadn’t yet faded.

“Alright then, Jax. You wanna prove you haven’t gone soft on us? I bet you to get a girl from this bar onto the back of your bike and show her a good time in your bed before we’re finished here tonight,” Tig challenged. “And I’m clarifying that it’s gotta be a broad of our choosing, not yours. No easy pickings.”

A chorus of ‘ooh’ and ‘oh shit’ was muttered around the table as all of the Sons’ eyes darted between Jax and Tig as the bet was laid out. Jax didn’t look remotely fazed by it, though. Instead, he easily drew his beer up to his lips, finishing the last of it before he set the bottle back down on the table.

“You’re on,” Jax replied, a confident grin tugging at his lips. “I guarantee I can get any girl in here on my bike in fifteen minutes or less easily.” He jutted his chin at Tig before he continued, that cocky tone of his growing. “What do I get when I win?”

Tig took a moment, as if he was thinking about the answer, mulling it over for a minute. “Give you three hundred bucks,” he finally answered. “Plus, you get laid. But–” he held up a finger, that glint in his eyes still lingering, “–if you lose, we collectively get to think of some form of embarrassing punishment for you.”

That gave Jax pause for a moment, one hand running through the scruff along his chin. Not that he remotely doubted his ability to get a girl in his bed by any means, but the possibility that they might pick some chick that he somehow would not be able to charm didn’t sit well with him. Because he could only imagine what embarrassing ‘punishment’ the guys would love to force on him.

“You’re hesitating, Jax,” Bobby pointed out.

With a roll of his eyes, Jax sat forward in his chair. “Of course I’m in,” he accepted without another thought, the confidence returning. “This is going to be stupid easy anyway.”

“Aye, well,” Chibs said, shaking his head at his President. “Don’t forget, Jackie, the girls here are normal broads. Not the kind at the clubhouse. Or Diosa or the porn studio.”

Opie shook with silent laughter on the other side of Jax, one of his hands reaching out to lightly nudge his best friend. “That’s right,” he agreed. “These girls aren’t pre-warmed and ready for your advances, brother.”

“Doesn’t fucking matter,” Jax replied, waving the comment off. “Who the hell would say no to some time with this face?”

Another round of raucous laughter erupted from the table and Jax grinned wider at the sound. He had no doubt that he’d find a way to charm any woman the guys ultimately picked. Didn’t matter if she wasn’t a croweater, he’d find a way. He knew he was attractive and he had the confidence to go with it. He’d make it happen. There was no way in hell he’d lose the bet.

“Great,” Tig said, clapping his hands together before he turned away from the table. “Now to find a suspect.”

For a few minutes, Jax sat at the table as the Sons all began surveying the bar in search of a target for this bet. He listened as the men pointed out a few different options, hearing comments like ‘no, looks too willing’ or ‘doesn’t look remotely challenging enough’. He chuckled to himself, watching as all of his men kept talking amongst themselves until Tig eventually caught everyone’s attention.

“That one!” he exclaimed, gesturing a finger across the bar. “The one at the end of the bar there. Hunched over her phone. Didn’t even notice her at first.”

Jax shifted in his seat, trying to get a look at where all of the men were now focused. In the far corner of the room, almost too easy to miss, was indeed a woman hunched over her phone. She looked like she was concentrating on something, and judging by the way she was dressed, she wasn’t trying to capture the attention of anyone in the bar tonight. Jax was immediately thankful that he didn’t find her unattractive, either. If anything, he found himself pleased this was the woman they’d picked for the bet. He wouldn't mind her in his bed for a couple of hours tonight.

“She looks more like she’d slap Jax for approaching rather than sleep with him,” Bobby said with a laugh. 

Tig shot a look over his shoulder at Bobby, a wicked grin on his face as he nodded his head in agreement. “I know, right? She’s perfect.”

“If anything,” Jax cut in, glancing back over at the woman, “she looks like she’d be thanking me for giving her a little stress relief. She looks a little too tightly wound.”

The table of Sons all returned their attention to Jax now, curious expressions adorning their faces. They were waiting to see if he would keep his word now that a woman had been chosen for the bet.

“Still think you got it in you to charm a girl like that?” Opie asked.

“Yeah, Jax,” Tig goaded. “You gonna call off the bet or what?”

“Fuck off,” Jax said as he rose from his chair, lightly slapping a hand onto the table. “No goddamn way I'm turning the bet down–or losing it. Let me show you boys how it’s done. I’ll have her on my bike and screaming my name in no time.”

Another round of laughter came from around the table, a few of the men wishing Jax good luck. Opie gave him a pat on the back as Jax walked away from the group, his gaze fixed on the unsuspecting woman at the far end of the bar.

This was going to be fun.

The dive bar you’d found yourself in for the evening smelled like mold and sweat–not unlike the shitty motel room you’d checked yourself into earlier today. And yet somehow it had still been rated the best of all the shitty motels in Charming. 

Today had been long. You'd had a bit of a drive out to the small town of Charming from Red Ridge this morning–the city in which you lived just a little outside of San Francisco where your prestigious paper, the San Francisco Sun Times, was located. After briefly unpacking a few of your things in the motel you’d unfortunately have to call home for a bit, you'd hit the road again and began your investigation around the surrounding area.

Aleksander Petrova was your great white whale. You’d been chasing him for well over a year now, and you’d almost led the FBI straight to him seven months ago, but some sort of information leak had given the bastard a chance to disappear into thin air before they’d had an opportunity for an arrest. He’d been right there operating just outside of Los Angeles for months and you’d been linking missing woman after missing woman together, discovering a pattern in which he’d targeted female sex workers specifically. Whether his men abducted them from the street, underground brothels, or strip clubs, you’d grown familiar with how he targeted them. But then his ass had disappeared into the wind. 

Until recently.

Which was why you’d landed yourself in Northern California now. You had caught the familiar pattern in the unreported missing women cases in the area that had been occurring for the past few months. You were positive it was Petrova. But due to his reach and wealth, and the fact that most of society didn’t bat an eye at a missing prostitute, no one had looked into the cases. It didn’t help that Petrova had plenty of law enforcement in his back pocket, making it easy for officers to turn a blind eye to what was actually going on throughout the state.

But not you.  

Huddled over the counter of the bar in the dim lighting, you were focused on typing up an email to your editor on your phone. Gary had technically wanted you to check in with him once you’d gotten settled in Charming earlier this morning, but having been unable to resist getting started on your investigation after finally catching a lead, you admittedly had forgotten all about shooting him an email. You hoped the added bit of information about what you’d started working on today would ease the angry scolding you were sure to receive later.

As you typed, absently sipping on the piss beer you'd ordered a while ago–the one that was only half-finished and growing warm–you eventually felt a presence sidle up near you at the bar. Still focused on your work email, you paid the person no mind as your fingers swiftly flew over the keyboard of your phone. But when you noticed them lean against the counter near you from your peripheral, you had a feeling your quiet evening trying to unwind and focus your thoughts was about to be interrupted.

“Hey there, darlin’,” a deep, smooth voice came from beside you. “You're not from around here, are you?”

Without even glancing up, fingers still flying across the keys of your phone, you tensed at the man's clearly obvious intent. You had important work to focus on, you weren't interested in getting hit on by some random guy in a small town.

“No thank you,” you simply replied, not bothering to look at him. 

An amused chuckle met your response, the sound only further irritating you. So this guy wasn't going to give up easily. Fantastic.

“Maybe you should put the phone down, sweetheart,” the voice tried again. “You're missing out on what's going on around you. Like me flirting with you.”

Fingers pausing their typing, you resisted the urge to throw your phone at him. “I wouldn't say I'm ‘missing’ it, exactly,” you said, annoyance levels rising. “It's actually interrupting my work.”

“You're working right now?” the voice asked incredulously. “Darlin’, no. Put the phone away, you're sitting at a bar. Why the hell are you working?”

“Look, if you’re looking for an easy lay tonight, it’s not me,” you stated bluntly, skimming through the finished email on your phone. “I’ll save you the time right now: I’m not interested. Please leave me alone.”

Another amused chuckle rumbled from the man beside you before you caught him sliding a little bit closer down the length of the counter towards you. Pressing the send button on your phone a bit more roughly than necessary, you couldn’t believe the audacity of this asshole. Was he really going to be that persistent?

“Sweetheart, I’m just trying to talk to you,” he replied, entirely unfazed by your rejection. “No need to go getting ahead of ourselves quite yet.”

With a frustrated huff, you turned off the screen on your phone and finally looked over at the man beside you, an irritated glare already on your face. But the irritation immediately fell from it when you realized you recognized this man. An annoying smirk quickly overtook his features as he caught the shift in your own expression, but you didn’t even give that arrogant look on his face another thought before your eyes dropped down to the leather kutte he was wearing, your eyes landing on the President patch. After a brief pause, your gaze slid back up to meet his. The smirk on his face only grew a bit wider as he continued to lean against the bar counter in front of you.

“Change your mind now, darlin’?” he asked.

Ignoring the smirk that seemed to be permanently present and the cocky confidence he exuded, your eyes narrowed slightly back at him. You’d done your research before coming out to Charming. You knew exactly who he was, and he was someone you’d been hoping to get an audience with while you were here. Especially because you were partly here because of him. What were the odds he’d just walk right up to you in a piece of shit dive bar?

“Jax Teller, right?” you questioned back.

That caught him off guard. He visibly recoiled, his eyes widening a bit as you called him by his name. A name he hadn’t given you yet. It took him a moment to recover, his demeanor shifting to something cautious and suspicious almost instantly. 

“Yeah, and who the hell are you, sweetheart?” he asked, tone a bit sharper now.

Turning in your chair, you stuck your hand into your purse which hung over the back of it before pulling out a business card. He gave you a strange look as you slid it towards him on the counter, clearly not anticipating the flirtatious conversation to go the way it currently was. 

“I’m an investigative journalist,” you informed him. “For the San Francisco Sun Times. I’m out here working a story on missing sex workers.”

Jax’s eyes rose back to you over the top of the business card he was holding in his hand. He looked confused as he studied you in silence for a moment.

“I’m sorry, you’re doing what?” he finally asked.

With a roll of your eyes you briefly explained yourself. “I’m investigating the disappearances of missing women–specifically sex workers–in Northern Cali. I believe they’re linked to Aleksander Petrova. You know, the big Russian crime lord?”

Jax pulled a face, his expression morphing briefly into one of horrified disbelief as he set your card back on the bar counter. “Yeah, darlin’. I damn well know who he is,” he told you. “What the hell are you doing looking into a man like that?”

An annoyed huff fell out of you in response. “I just told you,” you replied.

“No, I heard what you said,” he continued, shaking his head at you. “But, sweetheart, you’re a journalist. The hell are you gonna do going up against a man like Petrova?”

Turning further towards him in your chair, you let out a frustrated sigh. You’d been doing this for a long time now, you weren’t remotely incompetent. And you certainly didn’t appreciate being treated as such.

“I’m not going up against him, Mr. Teller,” you began, noticing the way his lips twitched when you’d referred to him so formally. “I’m investigating the missing women. Petrova has a pattern and I’ve been following him for over a year now. I’m trying to find evidence to link the missing women to him so I can give the FBI the information and they can take him down.”

His eyes narrowed back at you, an unreadable expression crossing his features as he listened to what you were saying. He looked completely different now than the arrogant flirt he had been just a few minutes ago.

“Helping those women and stopping that piece of shit is my main priority,” you finished. “The pay from publishing the story just keeps me doing what I do to help others.”

“You realize how unsafe and stupid that is, right?” he shot back. “You’re gonna get yourself killed. Or taken for his trafficking ring yourself. You’re just one goddamn woman going up against a Russian mobster with far more wealth and power than you have. You don’t stand a chance.”

“I didn’t ask for your vote of confidence,” you bitterly pointed out.

He paused for a moment, irritation briefly washing across his features. You figured he wasn’t used to being spoken to like this very often. Particularly by women, if your research into his club had taught you anything.

“Why’re you telling me all of this?” he asked curiously. “Why are you here in Charming?”

“Because, Mr. Teller,” you began, enjoying the flash of annoyance on his face at your continued formality, “I have a reasonable suspicion that your club’s businesses might be affected by all of this.”

His eyes immediately hardened at that, a dangerous glint in them. But before he got a word out, a loud commotion broke out over the noise of the bar. Both of you glanced over at the increasing ruckus across the room. You spotted a table filled with Sons all currently banging their hands against the surface and shouting at Jax. 

“We believe in ya, Jackie!”

“Come on, brother! Seal the deal!”

“What's taking you so goddamn long, man!”

You frowned as the group of men fell into loud laughter, your attention slowly returning to the man in front of you. It was obvious they were shouting at him in relation to him having come over to flirt with you, but they seemed far too invested for their behavior to be normal. Jax's expression didn't give you much to go by as he only appeared to grow further irritated at their interruption before he turned back around and focused on you.

“What businesses are you talking about, darlin’?” he asked.

Resting an arm along the sticky bar counter, you kept your attention solely on him despite the continued noise from across the room. This conversation was far more important than whatever bullshit these men were shouting about. You might never have the opportunity of discussing anything about this investigation with Jax again after tonight, you couldn't waste the opportunity that had fallen into your lap.

“Redwoody and Diosa,” you answered him. “And the Diosa expansion I know you’re working on.”

Jax tensed at your response, his eyes narrowing further as he grew even more uncomfortable now. “How do you know about those?” he asked. “And why do they have anything to do with this?”

“I'm good at my job, Mr. Teller,” you answered. “And I told you, Petrova targets sex workers. And you and your club happen to have rounded quite a few up for your porn business and the poorly disguised brothels.” At the look that flashed across his face, you abruptly held up a hand and continued. “Relax, I'm not here to out you on those. I've known about them for a while now. If I wanted them shut down, they'd have been raided already. That's not what I'm after.”

“And I’m just supposed to take your word for that?” he snapped, his eyes narrowing dangerously. “Sweetheart, you’ve got a lot of knowledge that you shouldn’t have. I’m not likin’ that.”

Tapping your nails against the bar, you could see the tension increasing in him. He’d obviously expected to come over here and flirt, probably thinking he’d take you somewhere for a fuck. Now he looked stiff and pissed off. 

“Do you really think I’d be dumb enough to tell you this to your face if I planned to shut your shit down?” you asked him. “Because that’d be pretty fucking stupid.” Sighing, your nails stopped tapping along the counter as you tried to be straight with him. “Look, I’m investigating these missing women either way. While I do, I’m hoping to keep your girls safe. All I’d like is a little cooperation to do so.”

“Cooperation?” he asked skeptically.

You shrugged easily. “Yeah. Like a head’s up if something weird is going on,” you explained. “If someone’s eyeing your businesses. Following any of your girls home. Anyone actually ends up missing.”

“Darlin’, I think I’m better equipped to take care of our girls more than you are,” he argued, that arrogant smirk gradually returning. “And I don’t need some fed wannabe dragging the real feds to my town.”

“Well,” you said, pushing your chair out and rising to your feet, “I’ll still be around. In case you care to change your mind and help those missing women.”

Pocketing your phone into your jean’s pocket, you figured it was about time you made it back to your motel for the night. You had a long day ahead of you tomorrow and you wanted to finalize a few more notes on your laptop before bed. Grabbing your purse and slipping the strap over your head, you paused when Jax’s voice suddenly broke through your thoughts.

“Whoa, wait, you’re just leaving then?” he asked. “You drop a bomb like that and then you’re just gonna disappear? You didn’t even finish your beer.”

Glancing over at the half-finished, disappointing drink, you made a noncommittal noise and shrugged. “It was shitty beer, anyway.” 

You managed to take one step before Jax was speaking again. In the distance, you heard a bit of commotion steadily growing from the table of Sons once more.

“Come on,” Jax tried again. “Just let me buy you a drink. Something a little less shitty. We can talk about something…less depressing.”

Eyes running over the length of him just once, you already knew what he was after. And the answer was still no. You were here to finish this story and get Petrova thrown in prison. Fucking some random outlaw–no matter how attractive–wasn’t a priority. Especially one who, in your research, apparently had a history of fucking just about anything. You avoided guys like that.

“No, I’m good,” you answered. “Have a nice night, Mr. Teller.”

Taking just a few steps towards the bar’s exit, you heard the commotion from the table of Sons suddenly explode throughout the bar. The noise caused you to halt in your tracks, your head darting over towards the table as your brows knitted together in curiosity. 

“Aw, Jackie!” one of the men shouted. “Ya lost the bet!”

“You’re losing your touch, brother!”

“Shot down! No action for you!”

It took a moment, but the second your ears registered the words ‘bet,’ you steadily began piecing things together. He hadn’t come over to initially speak with you because he’d actually been interested, it’s because they’d all made you into a damn bet. A fucking joke for their entertainment. Probably something along the lines of him getting you into his bed. A look of disgust passed over your features as your gaze shifted to Jax still standing beside the bar. He at least had the audacity to look moderately apologetic before he turned his attention towards the guys, shouting loudly across the room to be heard.

“Knock it the fuck off, assholes!”

Shaking your head at him, you could feel the disgust and embarrassment steadily filling you. It wasn’t as if you hadn’t worked with countless individuals in the seedy underworld, because you most certainly had. Your ability to humanize them to the outside world in your pieces was something you’d been praised for repeatedly. But never in your years of journalism had you been subjected to something so humiliating. 

“You just saved me three hundred bucks, sweetheart!” one man shouted over to you.

A chorus of laughter erupted once more from the table as you made your way to the exit without a backwards glance at Jax. Instead, you shot the men at the table a dark glare, raising a hand high in the air and flipping the whole table off before pushing the door open and making your way outside. 

Working with the Sons on this story, if you managed it, was going to be a pain in your ass.

[pucksalotguys]

Unsteady

Featuring: Sidney Crosby

Enjoy chapter 1 of my new short fic, I won’t say much so you can all go on with a blind eye and get the full effect. Enjoy and let me know if you liked it 💙

It was the 3rd time that night that Sidney woke up in a cold sweat. He rubbed his face and looked over at the small clock that was on his bedside table, the one Emerson had gotten for him on their first anniversary, it was 3 am. The witching hour as he used to tease her about any time she woke up and bothered him to tell him about whatever dream it was she had. Back when life had meaning

He shook off the bad thoughts and went inside the bathroom as he settled for a steaming shower, the kind that was burning his skin. Somehow he should’ve known today would be hard yet he tried his best to push back all those negative thoughts and now here he was back at square one, mourning his dead wife

Time was fucked. Life was fucked. He looked at his reflection in his mirror and ran his fingers through his stubble. His eye bags were practically purple from all the sleep he had missed the last month. He looked like absolute shit and there was no point in hiding it. After getting him together the best he could he grabbed his bag and headed out the door.

It had only been a few months back at the apartment and slowly he was getting used to it, there was no way he’d be able to go back to his actual house. Not without Emerson. That house stayed empty, it was no longer a home after losing Emerson. He paid for it to get cleaned and kept everything in shape but actually living there again seemed far fetched. The apartment he was staying in now was all he needed, it was in a nice area and quiet and that was all he wanted

When he reached the hallway, he bumped into a woman in her late 20’s struggling to carry a large, awkwardly shaped box and watched as everything spilled “Oh god are you alright ? I’m so sorry” she apologized immediately 

He shot her a quick look. "I'm fine," he said curtly, clearly not in the mood for pleasantries “Be careful next time” “Sorry” she whispered “Uh see you around” “Let’s hope not” Sidney said back as he walked away from her

For the rest of the week, their paths crossed several times. Sidney would take the stairs, trying to avoid any interactions, but every time he did see her, she didn’t seem to get the hint he wasn’t in the mood to talk.

Finally, on a Thursday afternoon, Sidney was on his way to check the mail when he ran into her again. This time, she was standing near the door, fumbling with a package. 

“Oh hey” she said, offering her hand. "I’m Harlow, I live next door"

He hesitated for a second, then simply nodded “Sidney” he replied briefly, not giving much more

“Since we live on the same floor” Harlow continued, trying to push through the tension. “If you need anything, feel free to knock.” Sidney looked at her, his expression unreadable. “Thanks,” he said, and before she could say anything else, he stepped back inside his apartment, the door closing behind him

Harlow stood there for a moment, wondering what had just happened. Was he just a private person? Or had she somehow rubbed him the wrong way?

The next few days were no better. Harlow found herself thinking about the encounter more than she liked to admit. What had she done to upset him ? Was it her presence, the fact that she was his new neighbor ? It bothered her to no end

Finally, on a rainy Saturday, Harlow found herself staring out the window again, the loneliness creeping back. She settled for actually stepping outside on her balcony and simply stood there. Rain always brought back shit memories and more than anything it made her nervous. It brought her back to a time she wanted so badly to forget. She turned her head and that’s when she saw him and panicked for a moment.

There he was, also standing on his balcony, staring out into the mist as if was waiting for life to simply wake him up from whatever dream he was in. Without thinking, Harlow spoke first

 “It’s a miserable day, isn’t it?” she said, her voice carrying over the sound of rain.

Sidney didn’t immediately respond, but when he did, his voice was quieter, more tired than before. “I guess.” Harlow glanced over at her, unsure if he wanted her there, but something in his eyes stopped her from retreating. “You live here long ?” she asked. “It’s so plain around here”

Sidney gave a short laugh, but it didn’t sound like he was amused at all “Yeah okay” he responded before he turned away

“I get it,” Harlow said gently. “Grief’s a funny thing. It can turn even the most ordinary things into reminders of... everything you’ve lost.”

The comment made Sidney snap his head back towards her, his gaze darkened as he laid his eyes on her “The hell is that supposed to mean ?”

“I’m sorry about your wife,” Harlow said finally, her voice barely above a whisper “I know it’s been tough and I just wanted to say that I-” “Don’t mention her again” Sidney said coldly “Do you understand ? Just because you moved in and you wanna be annoying trying to talk to me all the damn time doesn’t mean I want to. Keep to yourself and stay out of my way” “Got it” Harlow nodded “I’m sorry” Sidney shook his head and stepped back inside. Perhaps he was too rude but the mere mention of Emerson did that to him. She should be alive, she should be with him. They should’ve been discussing when they’d start trying for kids, where they’d go to vacation that summer. Never did he think he’d have to live without her so soon. It was tearing him up inside and sooner than later he’d know he’d blow up

***************************************************

In the weeks that followed Harlow avoided Sidney every chance she could. If he took the elevator she took the stairs, if he was coming towards her she’d turn the other way. It wasn’t until one night that power went out in the building that she held her flashlight and walked out of her apartment only to see him slumped by his door “Mr.Crosby” she said softly “Are you okay ?”

Harlow took a step closer and flashed her phone light on him and that's when it hit her, he was drunk. She gently touched his shoulder and shook him slightly “Hey….hey Sidney, you okay ?”

“Em….Emerson” he mumbled batting his eyes open “It’s you” he moved his hand to caress her cheek “You’re here”

Harlow breathed heavily upon his touch and gently removed it “We gotta get you inside, where’s your key ?”

“Emerson why’d you leave me” Sidney slurred “I’m sorry Em, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I took longer, I’m sorry…come back please come back already”

She did her best to ignore him, looking for any sign of a key or even a wallet and found his pockets empty. For a moment she debated leaving him there or calling security to come get him but after hearing what she did on tv and how he was on sabbatical, she knew it wouldn’t be ideal so instead she took him to her place.

For once she was thankful a power outage had happened because at least then she couldn’t exactly see his face in her dimly lit living room. She lit up some candles on her dining table and sat there watching him. She had fallen asleep when she suddenly heard movement followed by cursing

“Holy shit” Sidney murmured as he tried to get up from her coach “Why is it dark ?”

“H-Hey” Harlow stuttered out

Sidney squinted as he made eye contact with her then widened his eyes “Why the hell are you in my apartment ? Are you fucking stalking me now ?”

“This is MY apartment” Harlow snapped “You’re in my apartment because you got drunk and lost your wallet and keys and you slumped right by your door like a slob. I brought you in here because I know security would have a bitch fest with you. Believe me I regret my decision immensely”

Sidney felt around his pants and pockets quickly, realizing he in fact had no wallet, keys or even his phone. He shook his head “I….I left everything back at the bar, I only had 2 beers”

“You don’t smell like 2 beers” she commented “Whatever happened clearly got the best of you, I should’ve just called security and they would have handled you”

“Why is your place dark ?” Sidney asked as he looked around “There’s no light”

“Power outage” Harlow nodded “Started around 2 this afternoon and it’s now 8 and still out, management downstairs said we’ll have it back by tomorrow morning at the latest”

He rubbed the back of his neck anxiously and nodded “I uh….sorry for yelling at you like that”

“It’s okay” she said “You were freaked out, I get it”

Sidney reached as he grabbed a candle that was on her coffee table and brought it up to his face so he could see her better “Harlow…Harlow what ?”

“Meyer” she answered quietly

“Harlow Meyer” nodded “I’m Sidney, Sidney Crosby”

“I know” Harlow responded “Thanks for helping me” he looked at her “Listen I know you probably know who I am but just….don’t mention anything alright ? I’ve been on a break and if somehow this gets to the team then they’ll ask me to take more time off and I don’t want that. I’m close to getting back and I don’t want anything fucking that up. If you want money I can give you some, just name the amount and it’s yours”

“I don’t want money,  you have my word I won’t tell a soul. I promise you” Harlow looked at him “I swear”

Sidney hesitated and nodded, looking down at his hands “So uh you’re new here ?”

“Yeah, just got here like a month ago” she answered

“You like it so far ?” he asked

“My neighbor’s kind of an ass but other than that it’s a pretty decent city” Harlow chuckled

Sidney laughed, he genuinely laughed at her comment and grinned, it seemed like it had been forever since he last did that and suddenly Emerson came to his mind and suddenly he felt like he was betraying her in some way

“Well I’m out” he cleared his throat “I’ll have some papers for you to sign tomorrow and what not” “Wait what ?” Harlow asked confused “I’m literally swearing I won’t tell anyone to your face and you’re gonna make me sign some document ?” 

“I don’t know you” he looked at her “I can’t trust you”

She shook her head in disbelief “I can’t believe I helped you out, I should’ve left you out there”

“Why didn’t you ?” he asked

“You looked a mess” she admitted “Clearly you’re struggling”

“I’m not some fucking weirdo alright ? I went to a bar, had some drinks and then when I walked back I felt it all. I’m not some alcoholic who gets drunk every day just to drink, that’s for weak minded people”

“People who struggling with alcohol have an addiction, they’re not weak” Harlow spoke “They can’t help it” “Yeah alright well I’m letting you know all I had were some beers and that this won’t happen again and I’ll have something for you to sign tomorrow” “Just leave already” she pointed to the door He hastily walked out and headed downstairs to get security to let him into his apartment after telling them he had lost his keys. He wasted no time once inside and immediately laid in bed as he reached for the framed picture on his nightstand of him and Emerson and hugged it tightly to his chest.

Today would’ve been their 3 year wedding anniversary and she was gone. Sidney was a widow before he was 40. He still remembered where he was when he got the call about her being rushed to the hospital and how he had convinced himself she was okay. How the heart attack was just minor and she’d be okay but that wasn’t true

The doctor's voice telling him she was gone played over and over in his head and soon he was crying, it was a nightmare he re-lived every single day that was taking over him. The same nightmare that caused him to fall asleep and wake up in that cold sweat every morning.

The next day he woke up and made his way to the bar to collect his wallet, keys and phone he had left behind. After paying his tab and giving the bartender a hefty check to not say a word he stopped by his usual coffee shop to grab something to eat and settled by a nearby bench on a park. It was then that he spotted her and sighed, she was like some tick that just wouldn’t leave him It was day time now and he had a better look at her, she was tall, fit with some brunette hair and seemed overly focused on counting all the donuts in her box. He finished his food and followed her for a bit and when he saw where she stopped and went in he felt his stomach drop. After last night’s fiasco and him talking down to her there she was walking into an AA meeting in the city's treatment center. He paused for a moment and looked down at his phone, his screensaver of Emerson lighting up his phone as if to tell him he knew what he needed to do. What he didn’t know was that he’d soon find out just how much Harlow understood him.

[dramaticallytotal]

The Rise of Team E-Scope Headcanons: Part Seven

Idea Post Part One Last Part

Broadway Baby:

• Noah wasn't crushed under Owen because Alejandro is trying to show the smaller boy he could be an ideal friend, so he made sure Noah sat next to him. Except the boy slept a lot, not that Alejandro could blame him, his ankle was still hurt. It had apparently been a sprain, but thankfully, it was not too serious, which was a miracle to Alejandro, considering his new amigo had taken the brunt of Owen's weight on his ankle. The boy had taken some pain medication and was out.

• Alejandro was also very surprised at how considerate Izzy could be as he had observed the girl gently waking Noah up to make sure he ate and to rewrap his ankle. It was odd. She was never gentle with anyone. Except Noah and Eva but Noah more so. So Noah must be the leader of the group, which is what Alejandro concluded. (Ale, you fool. They are just really close friends who care about each other.)

• While Tyler and Alejandro had been eating oatmeal (first class has an oatmeal bar, I don't know why, but I believe this in my soul. It's only available for breakfast), Owen, once awake, had a full Yukon breakfast, Izzy ate a little of everything, and Noah had congee. He had been confused when he was woken up by Izzy to eat it because he knew it wasn't an option on the breakfast menu.

She claimed she made it and before Alejandro could stop him from doing so (Alejandro 100% does not trust it since Izzy said she made it and he's worried how Noah wasn't worried at all) Noah took a bite and felt himself practically melt. It tasted just like his pāṭṭi's (grandma's). He knew she didn't make it, given that Izzy liked to experiment when she cooked, so she must have specifically asked for it. But for it to taste just like his pāṭṭi's the person who made it must have known her or something. Which meant Chef most likely made it.

Noah doesn't know why he did, but he's grateful. Despite his ankle being in pain, the congee helped.

[That is exactly why Chef made it. His emotionally-adopted son was hurt, and his in-denial husband panicked and called Abbi, Noah's mom, to tell her and ask for tips on how to make him feel better. Elayanila, Noah's grandma, took over the call and told Chef how to make her congee.]

• Eva was so done with Courtney, Heather, and Gwen and their stupid fighting. They had fought late into the night and started right back up as soon as they awoke. What was worse was them blaming her despite her doing her best, and she knew they would have voted her off if the challenge had not been a reward.

Heather had made a snide remark about Eva going faster if she had let her whip her. It took Eva, baring her teeth at the girl, to get her to shut up. They would have won if Sierra hadn't gone off the path and taken Cody with her. It took extra time to find them, which is what set them back.

• Eva, Katie, and Sadie were guarding Cody in economy class as Sierra kept trying to get to him to rub his legs and feet to "warm" him up.

• Bridgette is feeling on edge after the challenge, and it is because of the accidental kiss with Alejandro. She already made a confessional about it and how sorry she was to Geoff. She apologized that it happened and that she didn’t say more to Alejandro when he flirted with her. She also confesses that it took Noah talking to her to realize how it looked.

Now that she's on edge, she kind of starts to isolate from her team but especially Leshawna.

• Lindsay is still the one to give her team a pep talk because she's like, so tired of their down attitudes. Well, besides Sadie, but Sadie was playing guard so Lindsay didn't have her other moral booster.

• Tyler is the one to tell Alejandro to take Lindsay a snuffer's bar.

• Leshawna and Lindsay happily took the snacks while Bridgette just said, "I'm good. Thanks." Which shocked Alejandro and Leshawna. Leshawna apologized for Bridgette's behavior, which Alejandro waved away, but Bridgette heard her, and now there is tension between the two because Bridgette knows she wasn't rude in her answer or anything. She even said it with a smile. But for some odd reason, Leshawna took offense to her, turning down Alejandro's gesture.

• Heather is still trying to form an alliance with Sierra, so she is still there when Alejandro tries to offer his former teammate some candy. She still plays the whole enemy thing up.

• Alejandro does think she's good, but he also knows that Team E-Scope is protective of Cody, and if Heather is complicit of helps Sierra get to Cody, she's done. Even if Sierra is Chris's current favorite.

• Noah caught Alejandro's smirk when Sierra annoyed Chris and could see where the next manipulation was going to go.

• Izzy offered to carry Noah up the rope because of his ankle, but Alejandro made up some reason for it to be him, so Noah ended up getting a piggy-back ride up the rope. He tried not to think of how warm Alejandro was or how he had the perfect view of his muscles working overtime as they climbed.

• Alejandro was trying not to focus on the feel of Noah pressed against his back nor the way the shorter boy's thighs squeezed him the further from the ground they got. But this also helped him realize he actually felt muscle in the thighs, so he added it to his list of Noah Is More Than He Seems because all he has heard is how scrawny and lanky Noah is. So why was there muscle enough to notice?

• A pair of work gloves lended to Justin so the boy wouldn't cry and complain about damaging his hands, which ended up on his Objects Noah Has In His Utility Belt List.

• Lindsay was the first one up her rope for her team. All her years of gymnastics were really coming in handy. Bridgette followed her quickly, followed by Sadie, then Leshawna, then DJ.

• Heather still suggested Sierra chose the method of climbing while Eva ignored them and just started climbing with one hand. One hand because she grabbed Cody by the back of his shirts like the scruff of a cat and just started climbing. Katie immediately followed her.

• Sierra still makes the confession that she knows Heather is playing her, but she also admits she is going along with it because she knows Heather is desperate for an alliance and she could use that to get to Cody. Whether that be voting off Eva or Heather distracting the girl for her. Whichever came first.

• Alejandro did swing over to Sierra while Noah berated him for slowing them down, which the taller boy expertly ignored. He still played his manipulation of Sierra like in canon, and Noah had to begrudgingly compliment him. He was hoping this would be what sent Sierra home.

• Once at the top, Sierra mentioned to Heather how it was a little annoying how Eva left them behind. She made sure to mention she thought it meant the girl was trying to be their leader, which pissed off Heather to the point the mean girl offered to get the stroller as that's something only a valuable teammate and wonderful leader would do.

• Once they got Owen up, Izzy made her way to the stroller faster than everyone else. So, Team Chris took the lead.

• DJ is still the one who got Team Victory's stroller.

• Alejandro did hit Owen with the stroller as a form of cathartic release once he realized none of his other teammates were there to see it happen.

• Cody did fall out the boat, but Eva noticed and dived in to get him. Her swimming made the distance her team had to turn around lessen.

• When they went into the sewer, Noah handed his team nose plugs. It went on the list.

• The alligator is actually an animal employed on the show, though Noah never got close to him, so the fear of meeting him was definitely real. And Noah clings when he's scared, which meant he clung to Alejandro almost immediately.

• No Heather comment from Alejandro because he was distracted by Noah clinging to him.

• The boy band comment from Sierra let Noah know Alejandro's plan with Sierra was working. It also gave him a good laugh along with everyone.

• Who went in the strollers still remains the same as in canon.

• Noah sang one line in the song before he fell asleep because of the pain. His pain medication wore off, and anytime he was sick or hurt, he would sleep it off. It was just instinct at that point.

• Alejandro did flirt with Heather, but it's not because he likes her. It's strategy.

• No baby and Noah swap in this one either, as Izzy would not leave Noah alone while he's injured and sleeping. Heather tried to swap anyways and Izzy bit her. The mom of the baby also hit her with her purse a couple of times. Chris had to make Heather apologize so the mom wouldn't sue.

• Bridgette swam for her team since Leshawna, Lindsay, and Sadie refused to. Plus DJ still can't swim well.

• Sierra swam in an effort to impress Cody.

• Tyler still swam for Team Chris.

• Team Chris won first place because there was no switch while Team Amazon came in second, and Team Victory came in last.

• Noah woke up from the cheering, and that's when Chris said he'd make the challenge a reward challenge if Noah sang a solo song. Noah is baffled and shocked and immediately asks why. Chris's shit-eating grin should have clued him in that it was nothing good and of course he was right!

Noelle was such a snitch!!!

She saw his singing in past episodes and knew he wasn't putting any effort in, so she contacted Chris with proof Noah can sing. Thus, Chris made Noah sing. He said it could be about anything, so Noah made sure to pick a song that would be cut and possibly copyrighted if they kept it in.

He sang "Toucha, Toucha, Toucha, Touch Me" from Rocky Horror Picture Show.

• Chris did have to cut the camera, but he let Noah sing out the whole song. Alejandro was entranced and couldn't really tell you why he couldn't look away. But he couldn't. Especially when Noah would run his hands up and down his body as he got into character. He barely noticed Izzy and Lindsay jumping in as some kind of background singers ( they jumped in as Magenta and Columbia respectively.)

Trent, Justin, and Cody were all amazed that Moah could sing, and Trent and Cody were already coming up with ways to pursue the boy to join their band. Justin found new flirting and teasing material.

• Once Noah was done, he was met with applause, which he brushed off, but the smirk he sent Chris was met with an eye roll from the host and a poorly hidden smile.

• Team Chris got to open the apples, and everyone took a bit of the candy, but Alejandro and Noah were already thinking of sharing it with the whole cast. Noah because he had friends in economy class who would love some and Alejandro as a manipulation tatic.

• They, of course, kept the meat grinder.

• Noah was pleased to be back in first class and immediately claimed a couch for himself and spread out on it, not unlike a cat stretching and getting comfortable in the sun. Izzy and Owen cooed, and Alejandro thought it was cute before he berated himself for thinking so and picking a chair close to Noah. For his plan, of course! They needed to be close so Alejandro could make Noah believe they were friends.

• Trent, Tyler, and Justin requested massages, while Owen and Izzy settled on another couch and watched a movie on the big screen that was in first class.

• At the end of the episode, Chris had to explain to the viewers why Noah's song was cut.

• But he found out one camera guy had still been rolling, so he and Chef had a recording of their ki- assistant, absolutely killing it. He is so unaware that he's acting like a proud dad.

[daenysthedreamer101]

Daughter of Steel and Bronze ~ HOTD

Ch 17 - To Become One

HOTD x Targaryen!OC, Targaryen!OC x Harwin Strong

Warnings: nothing

A/N - FLUFF!!!! IT'S FINALLY HERE - THE WEDDING!

HOTD masterlist

"The year 116 was significant for Princess Daena - she turned 18 and married  Ser Harwin Strong. In the Grand Sept of King's Landing, the two exchanged their vows under the eyes of the Seven. The Princess shocked everyone when she appeared wearing a magnificent blood-red Valyrian gown once worn by her grandmother, Princess Alyssa. To say that Queen Alicent was appalled would be an understatement. 

The wedding celebrations were a small affair by royal standards, lasting only three days, yet it was more than enough time for people to see true love blooming between the Princess and the heir to Harrenhal. High above, her dragon Vermithor circled the skies." 

(Fire & Blood, Being a History of the Targaryen Kings of Westeros, by Archmaester Gyldayn)

~

Seven months later, late 116 AC, Dragonstone

Harwin and his sister walked the castle battlements, enjoying the evening breeze. Daena was somewhere up in the skies, so Harwin had nothing to do at the moment.

"There she is! Look!" Hanna pointed at a rapidly approaching dot in the sky. Harwin looked up, squinting his eyes. The setting sun blinded him, but he heard Vermithor's roar echo through the air. 

He and his sister made their way back into the castle and toward the Platform, as Daena called it. He watched (from a distance) as his betrothed dismounted the Bronze Fury. She stood beside him, leaning her head onto his and patting his snout. Plumes of smoke came out of his nostrils and he grumbled, in what Harwin assumed was contentment. Although tall for a woman, she barely reached the dragon's nostrils. 

After a couple of seconds, with one last kiss to Vermithor's snout, Daena approached them. Her silver hair was windswept and her cheeks were flush. She removed her leather gloves and looked as her dragon retreated into the caves, with a big smile on her face. She finally turned to look at him - her lilac eyes were bright and full of life. Gods, how did he get so lucky?

"Hanna, be a dear and tell the maids to draw me a bath. Also, I'm hungry. I would like supper afterward."

"Yes, my Princess," Hanna said, bowing slightly and left. 

With that, they were left alone, save for the dragon keepers that lingered around. 

"Ser Harwin, how are you this fine evening?" She asked him, her voice low and sultry as she put her hands on his armor. 

"Better now that you are back." He answered truthfully. He knew that she trusted Vermithor with her life and that she adored her dragon, but whenever he saw her atop that great beast of hers, he couldn't help but feel apprehensive. When she was on the ground, in his arms, he could protect her. When she was up in the skies, he could only pray to the gods and hope for her return. 

She hummed, amused by his words, and kissed him gently which took him by surprise. He glanced at the dragon keepers, which made Daena chuckle. "Worry not, my love. Who are they going to tell, the dragon eggs they're incubating?" 

She wrapped her arms around his and the pair went back into the castle. 

~

The following morning

"Ouch! Hanna!"

"Forgive me, Princess. Just a few more and we're done."

Daena huffed. She was on a pedestal, her arms outstretched and surrounded by tailoring maids pinning the material to her body. She was trying on her wedding gown - a bright scarlet gown fashioned in the style of Old Valyria. With black and gold detailing and sharp shoulder pauldrons, it was a sight to see. There was minimal embroidery, mostly on the long sleeves that pooled at her feet. 

"All done!" the elderly tailor announced, and Daena finally took a look in the mirror - it fit her like a glove. Tears welled in her eyes; this was the dress her grandmother, Princess Alyssa, wore to her wedding. It was simple yet magnificent and showcased the beauty of Valyrian culture perfectly. She wondered if her grandmother would look over her, watching and observing.

"Well, what do you think?" Hanna asked. 

Daena shook her head slightly, thinking of what words to use. "It's perfect!" 

She wondered what her family would think about her wearing Alyssa's old wedding dress. She hadn't told anyone, wanting it to be a surprise. The idea came to her months ago while rummaging through old drawers and chests. Most belongings of late Targaryen royalty were stored on Dragonstone, and Alyssa was no exception. Daena took one look at it and knew it was the dress for her. The revelation it once belonged to her grandmother only made her more determined to use it for her own wedding. 

~

King's Landing 

Rhaenyra carefully oversaw the decorations of the Great Hall. A royal wedding was to be held and she wanted it to be perfect. Not just any wedding, her cousin's wedding! Daena was the closest thing she had to a sister growing up and it was of vital importance that her wedding to Ser Harwin went smoothly, unlike Rhaenyra's own wedding. 

She waddled slowly across the hall and observed as the servants put up banners of House Targaryen and House Strong above the Iron Throne. She watched as the maids cleaned the floor and the windows. Everything is going smoothly, she thought happily as she placed her hands over her round belly. She was 7 months pregnant and to her immense surprise, it wasn't as terrible as she had imagined. 

She and Laenor...had an interesting marriage, to say the least. The weeks after their disastrous wedding were rough. They barely talked or spent any time in each other's presence. Sometime later, they decided that her getting pregnant was of the utmost importance. It would shut up the whispers at court and get Alicent off her back for a while. 

The few times that lay together were...not the most pleasant thing in the world but it worked. The gods were on their side it seemed, because she got pregnant soon after. Laenor still indulged his preferences with frequent visits to the Street of Silk but Rhaenyra never begrudged him; it was a part of their agreement after all. As for her, she found pleasure elsewhere. 

~

Dragonstone

That same evening, across Blackwater Bay, Daena decided to retire early. In two days, she would officially be a married woman. On the morrow, they would leave for King's Landing. There, she would have one last day of preparations, and on the following morning, she would marry her handsome knight. 

Speaking of said knight...

"Harwin, what are you doing here?" Daena asked when she noticed her betrothed standing in front of her chambers. 

"...Guarding your room, Princess." He answered, confused at her question. 

She rolled her eyes. "Well, I know. But why? I told you already to retire." 

"But I am your protector-" She suddenly pulled off his helmet. 

"Yes, yes, you are. But you are also my future husband, " she responded, taking his hand and intertwining their fingers. "On the morrow, we leave for King's Landing. Please go and have some rest. The hours will pass quickly, and before you know it, you have to get up and board the ship."

"Please, my love, I don't want to order you around. Someone else can guard me tonight. You go and have some sleep, " she added, batting her eyelashes. Her voice was soft and gentle. 

He looked down where her smaller hand was engulfed by his. Her hands were always so warm, her skin so soft - this time was no exception. He smiled and nodded. "As you wish, my Princess." 

She gave him a big smile and returned him his helmet. Propping herself on her tiptoes, she kissed his cheek. "Good night, my brave knight. I hope you sleep well."

~

(Alicent is still the 'young, Emily version' at the moment but I put the GIF for the vibes)

King's Landing

Alicent Hightower climbed the steps of the Grand Sept, her emerald skirts swishing below her. A royal wedding was to be held in it, and as Queen Consort, she was obligated to attend. If it was up to her, she would've stayed in her bed, but here she was, forced to watch that obnoxious harlot wed her secret lover. 

Just as she was about to enter, a thunderous roar pierced her ears and a huge gust of wind enveloped her, lifting her veil. Looking up, she was met with the sight of great bronze wings flying suspiciously low past the Sept, even grazing one of the walls. The Bronze Fury, he was called. How befitting, Alicent thought, that he was bonded to Daemon's reckless daughter who herself had a nasty temper. She sometimes wondered why he chose Daena, but who was she to understand the heart of a dragon? 

~

Daena Targaryen anxiously played with her rings while the carriage rode through the streets. It was an open carriage, so there was no roof or walls and the people of King's Landing could see her. She was alone - the entire court and her family already arrived before her. Her gaze was fixed on the Grand Sept. There, Harwin waited for her. Only a few more minutes and she would become his wife. The thought sent a shiver of excitement down her spine. 

She wore no veil, for they were not a part of Valyrian wedding customs. Instead, on her head sat an ornate golden headpiece studded with rubies. Her silver hair shone in the morning sun, braided into an intricate updo so her dress could be seen properly. She wore a pair of chunky garnet earrings and a few rings. No necklace was around her neck, as her high collar would cover it. The bells of the Grand Sept rang, and she could feel the vibrations of the sound in her heart.

On her right hand was a silver band with three gems - an emerald, a sapphire, and a ruby.  Lord Lyonel gifted it to her as a wedding gift and a welcome into the family. She smiled, knowing her good father already accepted her. Harwin did not know about the ring. She wondered what he would think of it. She also wondered what everyone would think of her gown.

Vermithor's roar echoed through the streets and the smallfolk watched in awe while Daena smirked. His presence brought her a sense of comfort and a boost of confidence. He reminded her of who she truly was - a dragon, fire in mortal flesh; she would be brave and strong. 

"Hear ye! Hear ye! Princess Daena Targaryen, daughter of Prince Daemon Targaryen and Lady Rhea Royce, goes to the Grand Sept where she will marry Ser Harwin of House Strong, the future Lord of Harrenhal!"

The smallfolk cheered and wooed, throwing fresh flower petals at her. Years from now, she would faintly remember hearing their blessings for she was too focused on the sound of her heart beating wildly in her chest. The carriage stopped and the Grand Sept was now in front of her. 

Ser Erryk helped her out of the carriage. Careful of her long skirt and sleeves, she made her way up the stairs. The doors were wide open and she could see, even from a distance that the Grand Sept was filled with people. To the left, leaning against the massive walls, Prince Daemon awaited. 

She had completely forgotten about her father, only now remembering why he was there. "Father?" 

He stood there, silent, observing her. He wore the same red and black doublet to Rhaenyra's wedding. "That was my mother's dress..." He realized, his voice unusually soft. 

"Yes, I found it on Dragonstone. I hope that...I hope she will be with me at this moment."

"She would be proud to call you granddaughter. You have her spirit." He told her. Daena smiled and wrapped her arms around his.

Once they reached the threshold, the bells stopped ringing and silence filled the air. 

~

Harwin Strong took in a deep breath, the scent of candles and incense filling his nostrils. He was never the most pious of men, but the Grand Sept demanded respect. He was standing between the statues of the Father and the Mother, the High Septon behind him. 

In the front row, to his left, was his family - his father, brother, and one of his sisters, Hanna. Joy recently gave birth and was unable to come. To his right was Daena's family - her grandmother, Lady Rowena, her cousin Lady Amanda, King Viserys and Queen Alicent, Ser Laenor and Princess Rhaenyra. Behind them were Lady Laena and her parents, Princess Rhaenys and Lord Corlys. Prince Daemon would walk Daena down the aisle. 

Then, the bells stopped ringing and he could see someone in the distance - her. Time stood still and nothing else mattered now that she was here. With every step she took, she was one step closer to him. Even from across the Sept, he could see her gown was not white. No, it was a brilliant red gown with long sleeves; an epitome of her Targaryen culture. A gorgeous headpiece sat on her head like a crown and the rubies on it shimmered in the dim light of the Sept. After what felt like a lifetime, she finally stood in front of him. 

She kissed her father's cheek and Daemon went to stand next to Laena, while she walked up to him. He took her hands into his and his eyes fell on her new ring. He raised his brow in confusion, but she just smiled. It must have been from his father or Hanna. 

A pageboy handed him the bridal cloak and he clasped it around her shoulders. On one side was the sigil of House Strong and on the other the sigil of House Targaryen. The clasp and decorations were made of bronze, in honor of Daena's mother and her dragon.  

"...The love of the Seven is holy and eternal—the source of love and life. We stand here today in thanks and praise, to join two souls as one. Father, Mother, Warrior..." 

The dull voice of the High Septon faded in the background as he focused all of his attention on his bride and the wild rhythm of his heart. Her soft touch grounded him, making him realize this moment was real and true - he was seconds away from becoming husband to the most beautiful woman in the realm. 

"...Hear now their vows." 

She squeezed his hands to get his attention, taking him out of his stupor. Leaning down slightly, his lips brushed against hers. She propped herself up on her toes and sealed the kiss. It was chaste, sweet, gentle, and over too soon, but he knew there would be time for more. 

"I am yours and you are mine. Whatever may come." 

"I am yours and you are mine. Whatever may come." 

"Here, in the presence of god and men, I proclaim Harwin of House Strong and Daena of House Targaryen, to be man and wife. One flesh, one heart, one soul, now and forever."

The gathered crowd erupted into cheers and applause. 

~

The Red Keep

Laughter and music filled Daena's ears as she and Harwin made their way to the Great Hall. Her grip on his arm tightened as they neared a staircase. 

"You nervous?" Harwin asked softly. 

She chuckled. "No, just trying not to trip over my skirts." 

 They carefully descended the stairs and reached the Great Hall. As they approached the high table, Daena noticed Alicent's absence. 

Seating themselves in the center of the table, the newlyweds were perfectly visible from all angles of the hall. To Daena's right were her father, Laena, His Grace, Rhaenyra and Laenor. To Harwin's left were his father, brother, and sister. 

"Where is Her Grace?" She asked her father. 

"Her Grace is 'not feeling well'. She won't be attending the feast." He informed his daughter. 

"Oh...how unfortunate." She responded, barely hiding a smirk of satisfaction behind her goblet. She shared a look with her father who was also pleased by the Queen's absence. 

The night went on relatively smoothly, with no major hiccups. The King retired early, but Daena could not blame him; he did look rather weak the whole day, she was surprised he lasted that long. 

Harwin and she danced, and the candlelight caught the golden scale-like chain mail sewn onto her white gown. On her left hand was a golden signet ring with the Targaryen sigil. It was a gift from her father. 

"Does he always look like that?" Daena asked her now husband as they continued on dancing. 

"Who?"

"Your brother...he doesn't look particularly happy or at ease. He looks like he's on edge the whole time, waiting for something to happen."

"Larys? Ah, he just doesn't take much pleasure from large gatherings like this."

"Hmm..."

"Don't worry about him, focus on the celebrations."

Daena finally took her eyes off her good brother and looked up at Harwin. "Of course, my love."

They left the feast shortly after. Cheers and whistles followed them, but Daena ignored it all; she was too focused on the way her stomach twisted into a knot. She would be lying if she said she wasn't nervous. She was less scared when she claimed Vermithor as a child. 

She knew Harwin wouldn't force her to do anything, on the contrary, he told her they didn't have to do anything tonight, but she couldn't wait any longer, she didn't want to wait any longer. She wanted him as much, if not more than he wanted her.

~ 

The next morning 

She woke up early, almost like her body knew they needed to leave. A heavy arm kept her tightly in place. She opened one of her eyes, and the first thing she saw was a big, brown rat. She furrowed her brows in disgust. Not wanting to look at it further, she slowly turned and was met with a much prettier sight - the strongest knight in Westeros, sleeping like a baby. 

A blush crept onto her face as she remembered the previous night, just how gentle he was with her; for such a big man, he was surprisingly soft. There was a pleasant ache between her thighs and a certain warmth pooled in her belly as she recalled all the things he did to her. Delicately, she moved a stray strand of hair from his face. 

"It's rude to stare." He spoke, startling Daena. His voice was deep, full of morning sleepiness and haziness. If this was what she would wake up to every morning for the rest of her life, well then, life was more than good. It was perfect. 

She chuckled. "I was admiring. Not staring." 

"Hmm." He hummed while pulling her closer. 

They looked at each other lovingly, a smile plastered on both of their faces. His hand danced through her silver locks while she twirled his dark curls between her fingers. He kissed her softly as he held tightly to her waist, pulling her even closer. He wanted nothing more than to lose himself in the heat of her body once more. 

But, they had other plans. They were supposed to leave King's Landing early in the morning, that way they would reach Harrenhal by the end of the day. She untangled herself from him, sitting up. 

"Good morrow, husband." She said, realizing he was finally hers. 

"Good morrow, wife."

High above, dragons danced in the sky.

~

I'm not that happy with the ending but honestly idc at this point. I hope you enjoyed this ch. Do tell me if you think I should somehow include Alys Rivers in the next ch. How do you think I should handle her? Should I mention her or pretend she doesn't exist? What kind of interaction should Daena have with the witch?

Taglist: @ateliefloresdaprimavera @joyfulyouthlover @pedro-pascal-love @holb32

[butterflydm]

new WoT thoughts (Mat-centric)

I am getting more and more excited as we ramp up towards s3!

exciting gif set to be found here

Without getting into too many spoilers, The Shadow Rising is one of my favorite books in the series, so I am really pleased that we're getting to it this season (TFoH is also a favorite, so I am definitely crossing my fingers hard for s4 as well).

Last week we got some hints about mid-late season stuff with the Tanchico pics, but this week is all early-season clips, when Mat is still in Tar Valon/the White Tower. Very intriguing stuff! It does imply a considerable amount of time in the Tower before the split (since Loial, Bain, & Chiad are all in the final shot), though some of this might happen after the others leave Tar Valon.

We know at least the first one happens while Rand & co are still there, because @markantonys spotted Rand in the first couple of frames of the clip. Might be the same scene that we've already gotten a still of a couple of weeks ago - I think the outfits match. And so the second clip might be Mat sharing that drink with Rand and Perrin, and the still essentially takes place 'between' these two clips. You can really see Mat's brocade-y coat better here.

I'm guessing the third gif is going to lead into a very fan-favorite moment from the books involving two brothers, so I'm going to speculate that it comes from episode 2 (so we might see Mat only in Tar Valon in ep 1, then in the White Tower proper in ep 2?) since that's when Morgase makes her official entrance to the White Tower, per the stills. And, yeah, I agree with Rafe that that book moment makes a lot more sense after Mat has gotten a memory download of battles instead of before.

If I'm only considering what the show has given us, it might be the Horn itself that is Mat's reason for 'getting invited' to the White Tower, since he seems to be leaning into his fame (I am curious if we'll see a contrast here with the other two boys).

Then the final clip, which alludes to Maidens' Kiss but is on-screen instead of a memory by Mat. Loial in the back doesn't look like he's worried about Mat's life or anything. That one looks like it happens at night. It does look like Mat has the same outfit in all of these, he just takes off the coat in the last few.

No neck injuries spotted, which could mean that whatever we saw in that earlier clip hasn't happened yet or it could mean he got Aes Sedai Healing for it.

[welcometoteyvat]

finally typing up my late lantern rite thoughts (very long). overall 100/10 quest I love hu tao

The amount of Xingqiu's brother mentions were insane. Surely we'll see him either as an NPC soon, right? Right? /j Honestly here he sounded pretty competent, nothing like "a simpleton" like Xingqiu's troubles voiceline suggests hmm...

The little model animations were SOOOOOOOOOO GOOD. contributed a lot to the experience and made it feel so much more alive. hu tao's expressions especially, but also yun jin's expressions, and Xiangling's "come back, get over here and eat!!!!!1!1!!!" was also really fucking funny. they've been adding these small animations for a while but this event specifically had so many of them and the effort paid off <3

in a similar vein I'm impressed how smooth the animation/model actions were when Xiao put the sigil on us

hu tao lan yan and qiqi fill in the gap fic please

timaeus is kind of silly, also very funny he and ying'er still going strong 2 years later. he's literally learning liyue language for ying'er? genuinely his dedication is impressive. they should make events replayable because how will everyone who missed 3.5 windblume know why timaeus simps for someone a whole country over

we finally know what the fake chinese characters in all those liyue signs represent (kinda ig). I need to look over this part again

if hu tao&/xiangling or hu tao &/yun jin stocks on ao3 don't increase after this I will start biting. MY GIRLS T_T T_TT_T_T_T_T_T_T. bro the farewell section was so tender I enjoyed it greatly. Their relationships with each other got developed on screen.. yun jin and hu tao's banter especially was really cute and really shows us their relationship aside from the hints in their VOs

YUN JIN OPERATIC HILITUNE ON SCREEN. the fanvid of it from bilibili can finally rest, thanks for your service, canon got here 4 years later.

Yun Jin, having practiced the tao dou opera, MUST have known something correct?? or else she wouldn't have asked hu tao so many times to promise to come back, right? She trusts Hu Tao so much :'''' . if Hu Tao says she can handle it, Yun Jin knows there's no stopping her, and she will find a way, but it doesn't stop her from worrying nonetheless :''').

hu tao's death flags during part 2......

my agenda is speaking, but I wish Xingqiu and Hu Tao directly talked during the farewells section. something something chivalry and sacrifice. Hu Tao makes her peace with giving up everything to resolve the Tao Dou issue, but is Xingqiu at peace with losing a friend even tho its selfish of him to want her to stay? he has personal stakes in this please just let them talk a little

I'm really really glad they went through with the death, they showed Hu Tao's emotions, they showed her father and grandfather waving her off. I broke, she looked so tired but satisfied (thinking about her vision story, where she waited so long for her grandfather to never appear vs him visiting her for just a brief moment here)

my other favorite shot is when traveler pulls her out and she looks at them in muted surprise. she just looked so sad and fragile and in need of a hug :(((

the Themes (waves hands wildly). hu tao's father's lingering regrets were his fatal flaw, and so Hu Tao settles her affairs properly and steels herself before going to die. she leaves behind the plum blossom branch just like her grandfather left his hat.. genuinely what the hell. the parallels between her cutscene goodbye and her saying "happy lantern rite" kills me

the epilogue last year with the fontaine tourists was pretty fanservicey, and tbh the epilogue the year before was also somewhat fanservice to me, (liyue gang dinner and zhongli venti teasing) though I liked it better. However I think this epilogue was actually really good— the hanging out and the fluff felt natural, it fit with everything else and wasn't super sudden. Maybe this was because of all the setup that happened (Yun Jin and Xiangling's promises to Hu Tao, Xiao and Yelan's dynamic built up in Perilous Trails and their earlier exchange), so the payoff is good instead of forced. After the trials and danger they got put through, everyone gets a chance to relax, and I appreciate the slice of life after the main plot. also Yun Jin's opera was crazy good considering it was not a cutscene, the animation and camera angles really sold it

I thought the special guest was xiao again, like how LR 3.4 had him dragged to the harbor by Hu Tao.... xiaolan banter was also v good though.

THE ADEPTI. they're still watching over Liyue in their own way :') the affectionate bickering about hu tao's name :''''''''

I barely mentioned lan yan in this... her part was pretty minor ngl, her habit of learning everything about a person to the point of sounding a bit creepy is kind of fun though.

alright. fantastic quest absolutely no notes I got almost everything I ever wanted and I am so glad Hu Tao had such an incredible 2nd story quest. chongyun and shenhe exorcist lantern rite next year?

[monstrousproductions]

I haven't posted anything for a while and don't have much podcast related news to share so I guess it's time forrrrrr....

✨Impromptu Book Club!✨

What's been on your bedside table lately? Anything good? Anything deliciously dreadful? I've been very firm in sticking to my new year's resolution not to buy any new books, which has had the delightful side effect of really increasing the amount I've been using my local library. Having fun isn't hard when you have your library card! Now, onto the books 😍

Currently Reading:

Rules for Perfect Murders (I think the American ed is Eight Perfect Murders? Much better title tbh) by Peter Swanson (audiobook performed by Graham Halstead). A bookseller at a shop specialising in crime fiction learns that someone is killing people according to a list he made of perfect murders in fiction, posted on the shop's blog some years ago. I started this like "oh I know what's happening here" and then Peter Swanson reached out of my phone and held my face in his hands and grinned and said "oh you do, do you?" Having an absolute hoot, do recommend.

I'm also reading The Kingdom of Copper by S.A. Chakraborty, as a direct result of my new year's resolution. I bought the first in the series, City of Brass, years ago and never read it. Picked it up last month and spent almost all of it thinking, "Wow, I wish this was better. I'm definitely not going to read the rest, but I do want to see how it ends." And then EVERYTHING kicked off in the last few chapters, and I immediately put a hold on for Kingdom of Copper at the library.

Recently Finished:

And Then There Were None by Agatha Christie (audiobook performed by Hugh Fraser) - The one where everyone gets invited to an island and popped off one by one. Got genuinely spooked listening to this at night, and had to turn it off 😅 As always with Christie, I had good fun being told how it all happened but didn't care in the least about anyone involved.

Emma by Jane Austen (audiobook by Juliet Stevenson) - I've listened to this over and over, and it's perfect every single time. By far my favourite Austen, and especially my favourite Austen heroine, not in a "she did nothing wrong" way but rather a "she absolutely did lots wrong and isn't that delicious" way.

What Moves the Dead by T. Kingfisher - A fantastic wee novella that wastes no time getting stuck into the story and the world around it. A retelling of The Fall of the House of Usher, now with added mushrooms. Having read Mexican Gothic recently, it'd be impossible not to draw comparisons. While both were fun, I think there was quite a bit more skill on show here.

The Last Murder at the End of the World by Stuart Turton (audiobook performed by Adjoa Andoh) - I love Adjoa Andoh with the power of a thousand suns, even when she is reading me a relatively boring story. A post-apocalyptic murder mystery, this should have been right up my street. But it lacked oomph, and I never had this on without having something more interesting to do while I listened.

Binned Off:

Red, White and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston (audiobook performed by Ramón de Ocampo) - Started strong, and I was having a good time, but for a relationship with such huge stakes on paper, I never felt them while I was listening. It felt like every obstacle was very quickly overcome, and I found I didn't really care one way or the other. Eventually I turned it off and just... never went back.

That's it for me - how about yous lot? Let me know what you've been reading the last wee while! 📚✨

[racke7]

It kind of occurred to me today that this:

is kind of... awkward.

See, as anyone with chronic-pain will tell you, your "daily activities" will warp around your pain.

Where instead of doing things "the normal way" you've figured out some kind of mostly-painless workaround, and so you don't even have to worry about it.

And then it's also difficult to say what amounts to "most" or "many" or "some". Is there a set list of things you need to be able to do? In today's world, plenty of people go from bed to computer to bed, never even needing to leave their apartment. How does that translate?

Not to mention what "all the time" really means. Does it only care about the worst days if you have something that flares up? Does it only care if it hurts even when you stop an activity?

And how come "talking / listening" is so high up? What if your brain decides to go non-verbal from just paper-cuts? What would be the appropriate "loss of function"-comparison in that case?

Basically? There's a lot of empty holes and abstractness muddling everything, even in this seemingly incredibly useful example.

I remember someone saying "your worst day - with no meds/tools", but what if that worst day only happens a few times a year?

It's complicated, is what I'm saying. And whilst this description is definitely useful, I wouldn't take it as gospel.

In fact, you might be better off ignoring your doctor when they start asking about "numbers" and just explain how the pain effects you.

"On a scale of 1-10" "I'll wake up in the middle of the night, nearly unable to move from the pain, and then desperately claw my way out of my bed. I'll then spend around two hours sitting up and letting my body recover, before being so tired that it outweighs the pain, and I can crawl back into bed for another few hours of sleep. At which point I'll wake up in pain again. During the day, I struggle to turn around or bend over."

They might not like this, and they might interpret the "number" in their own ways (which might screw you over), but at that point it's more about them being shit than you failing to describe things.

Obviously though, I'm not a medical professional and shouldn't be giving medical-advice. I'm just saying that 1-10 is so fucking arbitrary that I don't feel like you can give the "correct" answer, no matter how much thought you put into it.

[ifindus]

Historical - for the fifth day of @hetalia-rarepairweek ✨

It's been a while since I've done any viking/celtic ScotNor 🥰

[thatfriendlyanon]

no longer tiny joys tuesday but it's been a pretty rocky week so far so some things from today that have given me some encouragement:

washed my hair (<- always makes me feel less gross)

was productive (and it wasn't as much of a mental battle to focus/be productive like it was yesterday)! particularly in writing a lot of my journal spreads (something i've been behind on and takes a lot of effort for me to do), i did it while listening through a new playlist & drinking coffee & i enjoyed the whole process & am way more caught up

finished a drawing i started last night

read two more chapters of my book; i'm nearing the end and it's still so good ;;

spent some time (being productive) at a cafe with my brother :)

^ he & i watched another episode of hilda once we got home, while i ate a pb&j sandwich, and he's enjoying it and i'd forgotten how much of a comfort show it is for me :))

drove to/from the cafe And to/from the grocery store and! felt considerably less stressed about it than i have my previous driving trips!! also my brother is a very patient & great driving teacher & i am very grateful for him

spent the evening writing/editing poetry & making Processing journal spreads (which i haven't done in a Very Long Time [since...july??] it is. so so good for my brain.) & listening to new truth-music (anchor hymns <3) & feeling a bit more of God's comfort/compassion/grace than i have in awhile <3