#also im putting this one on my art blog. I consider this as some form of art i did. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

pineappleparfaitie · 4 months ago

Text

(Originally this was shorter but i got so mad while typing i just went on, the following is just some of my frustrations over the recent shit thats happened in this community)

The hypocrisy i have been seeing in the sfw vore community is fucking SAD

Im sorry i ranted abt this yesterday but it hasnt gotten better

Youre telling me we will yell st NSFW blogs who dont read our bios,dni's, pinned posts and tags and say how they are doing harm and they neee to read every little thing

But if a sfw vore blog reblogs NSFW and doesn't check all the biosxall the pinned posts,tags ect its a mistake?

You arent exposing minors into the NSFW space, instead you are exposing them to NSFW content

We will nag and complain and WHINE about gross nsfw stuff on our TL, how these blogs interact with us, vent about how uncomftrable it makes us but when someone we know does it its ok its not the worst thing!Not like minors still saw NSFW stuff!Not like someome actively has multiple friends that are minors and then puts these kids in danger by rebloging this content!Totally.

Stick to your morals, if it applies to 1 scenario it applies to everyone

And COMMUNICATION GUYS

Communication is a thing. DMS . Istg some people never watched stuff relating to the Art commentary community OR ANY COMMENTARY VIDEO cause youd THEN know how to compile evidence, how to focus less on personal gripe amd more on objective facts and know how tf to present shit.

But most importantly? KEEP SHIT PRIVATE. IF you confront the person on their poor behaviour privetly, and they still keep it up, THEN maybe shed light on it. But dont make stupidly formed "callouts" that make 0 sense unless you reread it. No one is going to listen to evidence if you cant even present it properly. And dont make claims of ableism with no elaboration other than a few personal views. And also dont say "this person said this about me" without showing screenshots.

Oh and while im at it-

Dont.Make.Threats and PETTY INSULTS to people. That shit is VILE unless the person is a convicted criminal and an actual monster making death threats,torture threats, eishes of harm sooo fucking casually is BEYOND INSAINE. And if these people are YOUR friends, you should tell them off not some people who hardly know them. Your friends behaviour will reflect poorly on you.

This shit has been so poorly handled by both sides ,1 cant present evidence or a callout (WHICH SHOULDNT HAVE EVEN HAPPENED) and the other refuses to acknowledge any wrong doing and believes they are inncoent and havent done harm and focus more on them than the minors they put st risk.

Oh and btw ya i was one of the people exposed to NSFW blogs and shit due to this whole confuckle. Harm and discomfort was done. IM an example.

I am more mad at the anon and disappointed at the other person at the end of this.

We know who this person is- most of the community does and WE know they meant no real harm. But other blogs dont know that and people have already been contacted by 18+ blogs telling them they arent safe and AT THIS POINT I DONT BLAME THEM BUT STILL ISNT FUN. ITS NOT FUN FOR HORNDOGS TO COME TO YA AND SAY WEIRD SHIT TO YA OR HOW YOU ARE DISGUSTING CAUSE SOMEONE YOU TRUSTED CANT CHECK DNI'S!

This is AGAIN being treated as drama. Always Drama. Not only is someones reputation being hurt and damaged because of poor wording,poor choices ect but minors are being harmed.

And I know im going to be told im blowing things out of proportion, im aware.

But if we throw such a fucking PISS FIT over NSFW blogs even LIKING our posts, why cant we criticise friends and moots who also put us in danger?

Intent is important to consider, but your action will ring louder than words.

Do better. Stop saying minors being harmer is drama. Stop saying were taking things too seriously, stop saying this shit.

GOD

I dont believe btw this person (one who has a callout made on them) is a bad person i would still love to be on good terms eith them and stay moots/friends but it becomes difficult when you see how they react to putting you at risk.

#pine txt #Not rlly a vent #Rant?#Kinda

11 notes · View notes

pinkmoondoll9shihtzu · 8 months ago

Note

hi, im a mutual of yours who is too shy/on&off tumblr to interact, but i do look up to you; and your blog and way of seeing things helped me in the past when i was struggling quite a bit.

Lately I feel as if im lost in life, lost my passions and floating aimlessly without a real goal, detached from the future etc. Do you have any advice? I appreciate ur view on things, hope this isnt overstepping 🌦🌈

hi its ok no pressure too interact w me ona personal level just cus were mutuals i enjoy the ambient bonds that can form on this website its why i stay ^^ and no it's not overstepping at a;ll sorry it took me a lil while to respond i was trying to think of good advice since i often feel lost too---

well firs t n foremost to give credit where credit is due, this bjork reddit AMA response really gets to the bottom of it , ever since i first read this here on tumbr a few years ago it really rly stuck w me:

the way this answer helped me is like, it helped me realize i dont need to be so regimented i dont need to put all this pressure on myself to create..All that does is feed into self inflicted guilt when i cant live up to my own expectations u.u you see for my whole life i've never been able to plan anything. yes i can think about the next steps i want to take, i can assemble a plan, i can see the logical way forward, but my moods. or like, idek. how to explain..

i cant force anything. if im not feeling it, i cant force it. ive STRUGGLED w this like i dont wanna be this way. because my feelings i cant predict. like for example i worked on music all winter because thats what i was feeling. then suddenly in march i just like, wasnt feeling it all of a sudden. As soon as it hit me i was like Fy767*T&UG*** because i didnt know when it was gonna come back. i still dont know!! im just trying to be patient waiting it out..in the mean time i have suddenly become enthused with drawing again after not ~feeling~ drawing for most of 2023. sometimes i go for weeks where i dont take a single photo and then suddenly it starts flowing again.. my website was also left untouched for most of 2023 until recently.

thats just one example of this repeating pattern in my life that i didnt understand for so long. theres years of my 20s where i couldnt feel passion for anything at all, looking back now i believe those times i was meant to be focusing on stuff in my psyche that needed healing to clear out some headspace for art. and this bjork quote put a lot into perspective it showed me how to reformulate my thinking to be more accomodating to my disposition. when i'm patient & kind w myself, take each day as it comes, let go of the imaginary pressure, let go of "the future", stuff starts to come thru easier.

and maube its gonna show up in ways you dont expect but its true that the mundane world offers so many ways to practice being creative & giving u stuff to weave into the art u want to create.. every water fall starts w a single drop its trueits true :] thats my advice i spose i really didnt meant to write this much but im boooored.. actually my nighttime boredom writing is one of those habits i never considered to b creative until very recently. there's so many small & automatic things we do that can lead to a meaningful life & purpose.

thanks for the question anon i hope this helps in some way , this is whats helped me but everyone's process is different. and i still have moments where im like WTFFF is happening but its easier to ride it out now. i wish the same for you just give it time <3 thanks again xPmd9

17 notes · View notes

swollenbabyfat · 10 months ago

Note

so maybe this is too out there of a question but you seem to draw a lot so i was wondering.... how? asking from a place where I used to draw a ton but had a burnout from it that i don't think i ever really recovered from, now im barely drawing and i feel like my skills are decaying but i just can't get myself to draw, and when i do i can't make anything i like and i just get frustrated ): i want to draw, i still have that urge in me to draw but i just. can't. do you have any advice? if not you can just ignore this ask.

Hmm....I will try my best to give a few ideas to help! But ultimately, I don't have a lot of interest outside of drawing to be honest (to the point I can argue in the past it's been unhealthy), I think a lot of it has to do with being autistic and it being my special interest, and I've always had a pretty high stamina from it, so I'm kind of bad to be compared to in a way I think ^^;

A few things though

-I have projects I work on, even if loosely, basically at all times. I consider my characters stories projects, and do a lot of work surrounding them outside of art that fuels the art - such as making mood boards, writing and talking about them, making playlist, stuff like that.

-If I feel burnt out in one area of art, i.e. character illustrations, I try to do something different, such as background focused work, or doing something outside of what I would normally do, like collage.

-I'm a really big advocate for studies to get out of burn out, and it's most likely what I will do to get out of one myself. Switching mindsets keeps things from getting monotonous, and can put your brain into a different gear which makes it easier to be creative in what you want it to be. Timed figure drawings can also be fun once you break through the "oh god I'm shit at this" feelings when you first start doing them.

-Drawing for others can be really nice sometimes, whether it be through art trades or drawing shit for your loved ones. I tend to do the latter one the most when I feel burnt out from my own work, and like to talk about their oc's a lot anyways, so it's fun to get to know their characters more through art. I use to also do art parties with my friends and do things like switching canvases every ten minutes, all working on one prompt but doing our own thing, stuff like that. In a similar vein, sometimes asking your friends for prompts can be helpful, think of it as an assignment of sorts if that works for you!

-Figure out WHAT you want to draw before you sit down and draw it. There's a lot of different ways to do this, a lot of time if I feel stuck unable to do work I'll look for visual references and make a mood board, or think about themes I've been wanting to explore and ponder on that for some times, a lot of times pieces will sit in my head for a month or so before I actually tackle them. Sometimes I'll go to my inspiration blog and hit the random button a few times and take the images I get from that and try to build something with it. If you feel stuck on a certain part of a piece, break it down further by doing a study of what's getting you stuck (if it has to do with form, I suggest tracing said thing and then practice drawing it yourself afterwards).

Overall, please don't beat yourself up, artist go through cycles of growth and slumber and sometimes you just have to rest, especially if you have outside factors making it hard for you to focus on drawing. It takes a lot for art skills to degrade and even if it were to be the case there's a lot of beauty in picking back up a skill, and sometimes you can even learn it better the second time.

I hope any of this was helpful, I'm rooting for you!

#ask #burn out #art burn out #faq #long post

32 notes · View notes

creative-time · 2 years ago

Text

A proper fair well

Well… here we are, I’m actually leaving

I just want to be clear, I love dhmis. The original series, and the pilot, will always have a special place in my heart. I’m still a fan, just not so much of a fan that I would spend like 75% of my life dedicated to a tumblr blog about it anymore.

Maybe it’s just burnout, or the fact that I was so disappointed in the tv series that it finally broke me, or the fact that I started this blog when I was 14 at the beginning of 2016.

I started running this blog when I was 14, and I’m 21 now. For nearly 7 years now. We had some good laughs, I met some people that would change my life, for better or worse. And I could have never imagined that I would gather so many people together like this.

And I really hate to sound ungrateful, but, it still kinda makes me a little sad when people say I’m the dhmis news guy, because this blog was always supposed to be more than that. It was supposed to be ALL of the dhmis fandom. All the art, all the memes, all the conversations. This blog was about you guys! The people who made this fandom even possible! The people who built it from nothing, for everyone now to enjoy. I loved sharing news, but I loved sharing your, and my, creations even more…

I guess being considered the “dhmis news guy” just kinda made me think that I was easily replaceable in the fandom, like… if one day I stopped, someone else would just fill the hole that I was in super easily and no one would really notice I was gone.

I think a lot of people forget that… I’m a person… Creative-Time IS a person… I was a person this whole time… making sure this blog didn’t turn to dust and constantly being ridiculed, mocked, or straight up harassed and sent death threats to the point were I would sometimes cry myself to sleep. But I realized that all that just wasn’t worth the energy, this wasn’t worth the energy.

There’s probably so much more I could say here… I just wouldn’t know where to start. And maybe I’m saying all this super wrong and someone is gonna look through it with a fine-tooth comb and tell everyone that I hate them and tell everyone I’m a horrible person, which perhaps I deserve.

I would like to thank all the people that have actually tried to get to know me, I’m sure you know who you are. You all made running this blog a little bit more happier for me, and I hope you all are happy too, even if we never cross paths again.

I think the only thing that could ever get me back into the fandom and this blog is if there is more dhmis that is actually good, or the pilot get released in HD in some shape or form. Other than that, I think I’m done here…

I won’t be deleting this blog, but I would request no new followers or dms unless it’s the pilot in full hd.

If anyone really wants to ask any follow up questions, please send them to the ask box on my main @cosmicxd but I would like to remind you all, I’m an adult, my friends and mutuals are adults, so if your under the age of 18 I would suggest not following my main because me and my friends are… UNHINGED and we have a whopping ZERO filters. I really don’t want to block any of you but if I know you are a minor and you follow my main anyway, I will not hesitate to block you, so just don’t. thanks I’m advance.

Now, a few things that I should wrap up in a bow.

Here’s what might be the final piece of artwork I do for TeVi and Purple Girl, I will try to make a series to put them in in the future but I want to work on another original series right now so it might not be for a while. So there are not really consider dhmis ocs anymore I guess. Just puppet ocs now

Also, a final update for Mini Mean Steve: Finally found some model magic and Mod Podge glad to say he is finally complete! He will be my most treasured possessions

Thank you for reading all the way through this, and for one final thing

Here a sketch of me kissing icehell Tony and Paige. (Because if im going out, I’m going out with a hell-freezing, earth-shattering BANG!!!)

Thank you all once again, and I’ll see you on the flip side!

-Creative Time

#dhmis #creative speaks #don’t hug me i’m scared #important #creative time #self shipping #dhmis ocs #Purple Girl #TeVi #DHTTV AU #dhmis au #mini mean steve saga #creative bes creative #icehell #Tony the talking clock #paige the notepad #dhmis padlock

34 notes · View notes

ukusreticence · 6 months ago

Text

i told myself to keep myself from ranting about my characters on here, but my brain has decided that this is my sketch and oc blog and i do not care anymore. i am LORE DROPPING EVERY SINGLE THOUGHT PROCESS AND I DO NOT CARE. at the very least its helping me gather my thoughts more by spewing it all out since i dont know how to simply write without some kinda art to accompany it so i have a topic in mind or something. thought process rant under cut, TLDR; side b is a damn mess of a character and such a fun concept to play with that i legit cannot decide on one concept for them

(quick warning, all mentions of "God" are in reference to hazbin hotel and hold no religious significance) personality wise/concept wise, i change side b a LOT, especially in RPs with character ais, which is how i kinda bounce ideas around and develop a solid concept of em. they can range from being an absolutely anxious mess, incredibly friendly and sweet (default), emotionless and empty and a buncha other stuff. Situation stuff wise also varies a lot, like the angel of equilibrium idea is what i consider their "official" story when i actually wrote the massive log of text for side B but like,, Side B has so many fun ideas to play with that it legit just depends on what im in the mood for at this point. like LOGICALLY speaking, if i wanted to put them in a universe with minimal to no interference (what i had in mind when making that lore post), then them simply being a complete bystander character who only observes and seeks understanding of every single damn action and thing is the good idea. they're social and still happy with no risk of collapse is the way i worded it.

however other concepts i've played with is them being solely confined to the void for "research" or "guarding" it with close to no visits to heaven (i actually have a traditional art comic of this one because i wanted to make cosmos and equilibrium like parallels of each other in a way, they still are parallels just not as obvious anymore) along with just ideas of simply being understanding but having to be under constant watch, being less friendly and more confined which would result in a more closed off variant of them.

i LOVE traumatizing my characters and in most situations it's either pre collapse with them being close to collapsing or post collapse side b. By collapse, i mean them being so dang stressed/confined/forced to stick to their current body with no reprieve that they literally physically cannot keep up their angelic disguise.

but like, another fun concept is that since creation they were either forced into an angelic disguise and taught/raised that's the "proper" way to be (lots of trauma involving appearance without knowing why, just general body dysmorphia), or the more fun variant is God deciding to keep this eldritch abomination in line by showing them all of his wonderful and fun and beautiful creations to the point side b gets attached, then proceeding to just casually drop the info that Dirk has the potential to destroy all of it. if you cant tell that last variant makes Side B DEEPLY afraid of themselves along with the normal body hatred thing. Alternatively, they immediately become a completely emotionless shell in hopes of not hurting anyone by becoming too emotional and losing form. But hey, if it works then it works.

Now on the topic of why would God keep an eldritch abomination that could potentially threaten all of reality, my brain tells me its because God hates erasing any of his creations if possible but talking with character ai, it actually came up with the idea that God somehow messed up SO BAD trying to recreate himself out of the literal embodiment of nothing that side b is literally bound to the void and if you erase side b, then the entire void goes with em. Which is so funny to me that i like the idea a lot and might have it only for self indulgence stuff and not placing em in other people's universes. Also my brain interprets the void as like, this whole thing that i might draw a comic of side b explaining since it is their domain. basically its just the start of everything.

rn im kinda like, combining a little of everything to make something im happy with. like,, Cosmos already has a pretty good idea and i ADORE how his personality is right now, but like Void?? damn there's SO MANY fun ideas and concepts i love to do with them that it's hard to settle on one. Side A is something i'm slowly building more and more on but Side B? HO BOY, i have not even settled on a SINGLE ONE.

most i know for certain is that i really do like side b being an absolutely cuddly and affectionate person. emotionless stuff is fun to mess around with once and awhile but overall i like my goob being sweet and loved by everyone. it'll make people seeing them as a monster hit harder too :}

#ukureticence #ichor's blessing #archangel dyrkethiel #dyrkethiel side b #the never ending daydream

2 notes · View notes

alrightrandy · 9 months ago

Text

new year, new plans

what's this? a geniune alrightrandy blog post that isn't just random slop? …finally.

all jokes aside, i'm well aware that i haven't necessarily been ultilizing this site – as well as other platforms im on, as much as i wanted to. however, considering the new year has just begun i believe it's time to make some form of change around here.

i just want to preface this by saying that, all through out last year, i've ran myself into some personal turmoil that led me to essentially lack any sort of focus to work on any hobbies. it's hard to explain, i feel like i have done a lot but at the same time i clearly didn't have much creative output as much as i wanted to. and again, it didn't help that i was also juggling with stuff in my personal life too.

i guess the point i'm trying to make across here is that, i haven't properly found a right balance for myself, both creatively and irl-wise. and i certainly didn't have a proper sense of direction either… but i'm hoping to change that this year!

through out the end of 2023 up until the mid january, i've went through a pretty prolific event that kind of sparked a slew of motivation and plans to really get myself back.

in summary, around the holidays a phone of mine completely bricked itself for some random reason, making it practically inaccessible for me to use. and keep in mind, i'm still saving up to get myself a laptop, so i really had no other personal devices besides that phone.

thankfully, i did manage to get a new one – however, the point is that me being phone-less for a brief moment was very "humbling" for me. not only it was the only device for communication and having a creative outlet, but it just goes to show nothing should be taken for granted. ANYTHING can be lost in a matter of seconds, a simple reminder that i really needed to get myself together.

and with that, everything brings me to here. i've somewhat finally came up with a plan to hopefully boost some motivation within me, and also have a better commitment to my creative output.

to get the obvious stuff out of the way, in reguards of my youtube channel – as well as anything reguarding about dj'ing and music. i am going to try my best to put a heavier focus on these since its something i'm still a complete beginner at. it's a new hobby i've recently picked up, and it only makes sense for me to try to lean onto it a bit more. matter in fact...

i just recently put out something onto my channel!

youtube

i'm going try to put out at least one mini mix on a monthly (or bi-monthly) basis. hopefully it will not only expand my portfolio as a dj, but i geniunely think this could help with my issues with commiting to something. plus, i think it would definitely bring in some life to my channel since i still have no clue what direction i want to take it in.

don't get it twisted, i still want to experiment with all sorts of different types of videos. however, i can't make any promises if any of it will reach the light of day. at least with these mini mixes, they will hopefully still appear consistently even if i have nothing else to upload. idk, i think its a decent enough idea to sink time into.

now, reguarding everything about creating artwork and ultilizing my platforms. it's still somewhat uncertain, however if you checked my pinned post i have recently updated it with new sites you can check me out on!

but in short, i will also try to branch out more and maybe even network myself to finding ppl / communities. and along the way, i will also try to get back into creating art since i really have been putting that on the back burner. again, no promises but i have been putting some thought into it! (i'm looking at you Newgrounds and Bluesky…)

i'm reaching my text limit, so this is all i have for now. i'll catch you guys on the flipside, i really do hope i do better this year. knock me out if this post ages horribly lol

happy 2024!

~🐇

#update #new year #blog #plans #youtube #Youtube

2 notes · View notes

blissfullybloomed · 1 year ago

Text

Solitude

Solitude is Simple.

Solitude is Sanity.

Solitude is Self Awareness.

Solitude is Solvable.

Solitude is Sanctuary.

Solitude is Sexy.

Solitude is Sassy.

Solitude is Satisfying.

Solitude is Simple.

I guess you figured out today’s subject.

When you are walking down the street, or see someone in the grocery store who is alone, what goes through your mind? Anything?

Society and your economic environment probably have brainwashed you to think that being alone is bad. Call the counselors…Call the squad….and so on.

Being alone and living in solitude is an art form in itself. There are some people out there that think because we are humans…that we are social creatures and NEED to be around others or we will slip into some sort of manifested depression. I agree with that generic concept…but, being alone is needed as well. Keep in mind, I am only speaking for myself, and my experiences….there is probably some scientific research out there to say otherwise…, not in this blog right now though. As I was saying, yes…humans are social creatures, but we are also a single unit as well. We are allowed to feel safe after an overstimulating event, either at home or work. We are allowed to feel safe after an argument with a spouse or loved one. We are allowed to put our needs first in this instance. It's ok. Be easy on yourself. Enjoy the solitude while you have it- learn about yourself. Who are you really? What do you stand for?

Both those questions are only involving YOU, no one else to answer them.

Be proud of your solitude.

Now, here's another query.

Who celebrates single people? There are engagement parties, baby showers, family reunions…but who celebrates the fact that this person has chosen to be single in some fashion and chosen a solitude lifestyle, for a while, or even permanently? Consider how or why they chose that life. Then maybe celebrate that with them.

Unions are celebrated.

Let's celebrate solitude for once.

We should celebrate solitude, the same way we would celebrate a union ….I just want the cake actually…HAHA! What I'm saying is, take notice of it, understand it…appreciate it, don't shame the person for being single and choosing themselves. It's not cool anymore…it never has been. Quit it.

If that person chooses to come out of solitude…get ready! You're not ready…for how they evolved…or my favorite word…bloomed, how they bloomed out of solitude. They rose like a damn phoenix , from absolutely nothing. They chose themselves, and fell in love with who they were again. Yeah, I see you people out there….I see you. We are unstoppable.

Oh, you will fall in love with this person too. You will notice, accept, take in, and finally understand ….because you won't have any other choice. You will get to see their authentic self. They will also get to see yours. You will learn from one another again. You'll grow. All because you both chose solitude, and did the work.

Get ready, you're about to find the love of your life…You!

You never know who might come along and fall in love with you too.

Oh man, dating when you know who you are is a whole other level.

You have to make it through the trash first…but that comes with knowing your boundaries and sticking to them. Stick to your solitude lessons you learned. Keep repeating doing that, and it will become a habit. Don't settle! You've worked way too hard and came way too far.

It's simple, easy, natural, honest, communicative, normal, not rushed, safe, and controlled people that will embrace your solitude with you.

You sir, yeah you…, Im very happy. Like, lost in the clouds, happy. Thank you.

He did the work too. He lived in solitude for a long time. He is still doing the work, as am I, daily.

Proud of you baby, keep it moving.

Celebrate Solitude, because you never know when it will become a union.

Peace pimps!

1 note · View note

sabertoothwalrus · 3 years ago

Note

snap u have anon turned off? I guess we’re just doing this then DHSJSK ok based on ur art and interests and blog and stuff the vibes I get from u are like:

chill and cool but also somewhat intimidating lmao and u like it that way. “be my friend but also fear me just a little, that’s sexy”

likes things that could be considered “cringe” but gives zero Fs what people think about it and elevates said cringe to a respectable art form while not actually really shying away from the cringe? haha

“I said what I said, die mad about it” energy

really creative thinker (like not passively involved in your interests but actively coming up w new ideas, exploring new paths/AUs that intrigue you and putting energy into developing them)

pretty self-confident overall (good for u queen)

bursting with Ideas at all times. kind of annoyed that your hands cannot keep up with your brain

some brand of lgbtq but I’m not rly sure what lol

gets frustrated with sitting still/being stuck

high expectations for yourself, maybe sometimes a little too hard on yourself

very thoughtful and intentional and skilled creator who puts a lot of effort into learning and improving

zero patience for whiney or close-minded people and not afraid to call them out

not afraid of anything, possibly

doesn’t really like kids? maybe?

has a specific beverage that u drink 80 servings of a day….like coffee or chamomile tea or diet doctor pepper or one of those sparkly flavored water things

a nice, loud, warm belly laugh and a big smile that shows your gums

ok that was a lot more than I intended, sorry lol anyway what’s my grade

OK PEOPLE HAVE ACTUALLY TOLD ME IM INTIMIDATING IRL AND??? I’m just a silly little goofball that’s so baffling

Ok I DO have no fucks being cringe, but it is one thing when you’re showcasing work you’re proud of vs telling a coworker in the breakroom at work “yeah I watch miraculous ladybug” GDHFJGKG there’s a time and a place yknow

LITERALLY YEAH ACTUALLY

I’ve been really lucky that this has been true for me for awhile!! I have had years-long bouts of art block where I can’t seem to produce anything, but this past year I’ve had more ideas than I can keep up with!

I am all or nothing when it comes to confidence, or rather I’m CONFIDENT when I CAN’T do things. Fun fact tho is I’m not really afraid of public speaking 🤷

Usually I just say gay/lesbian. Gender is: I don’t have a problem being Girl but you and I both know it doesn’t mean anything lol

I do get frustrated being stuck!!! Aaaaaaaa executive dysfunction!!!!!

Next couple are pretty accurate

the one about kids is FALSE I ADOREEEE kids!!! I look more forward to being a parent than having a spouse

ehhh I don’t really have a drink like this?? I’m a big slut for Martinelli’s brand apple juice/cider though 👌

I legit scream laugh gdhfjfjf esp in voice calls oof you shoulda HEARD me when they announced the Mario movie cast

overall you did really well!!! Thank you for putting my brain under a microscope Mar!! :) 👍

104 notes · View notes

hunterartemisanime · 4 years ago

Text

Noragami: Bishamon- the Archetypical Warrior Mother Goddess

Bishamon or Bishamonten from “Seven Gods of Fortune” in Shintoism is the typical “strong woman” trope character in a Shonen anime called Noragami: she is angry, she is beautiful and conveniently buxom for fans to drool over her. Termed by Yato as “ugly broad” Bishamon is fierce and coarse. However, she is not only that: she has a caring and nurturing side which almost caused her demise once and put her in danger over and over again. So this is my take on Bishamon and why she is the Eastern archetype of “Warrior Mother Goddess” instead of her Shinto persona.

First of all, let’s look what Bishamon actually is in the Classic Shinto religion. In Japan, Bishamonten (毘沙門天), or just Bishamon (毘沙門) is thought of as an armor-clad god of war or warriors and a punisher of evildoers. Bishamon is portrayed holding a spear in one hand and a small pagoda in the other hand, the latter symbolizing the divine treasure house, whose contents he both guards and gives away. His (because Bishamon is a male in Shintoism) legend derives from the Hindu Demigod “Vaisravana” or “Son of Vishrava”, who is known as Kubera the God of wealth. Both Vaisravana and Bishamon are associated with material fortunes and Bishamon is really a fierce version of Vaisravana, a well-fed, content and rather gluttonous demigod.

But how a god like Bishamon gets transferred in Noragami to a woman? It could be a design choice by Adachitoka to create a contrasting female character who could meet Yato in a more Godly plane. But I can see some clear Hindu influence in Bishamon’s design. She is inhumanly beautiful, fierce, perfect body and with rapunzel length hair. Her design is very similar to the Warrior Goddess Durga. In the “Meditation of Durga” she is described as

“the one with great length-ed dreadlocks in her head...whose face is beautiful like the full moon, whose complexion is as fair as flax seed flower...whose beautiful teeth sit on her full lips, whose full breasts hold the elixir of immortality*-- (Meditation of Durga, verse 1-3)

The physical description of Durga has uncanny similarity with Bishamon. the Goddess is also called “nabayouvana sampannang, sarbabharana bhushitang” (who is young and clad with fantastic jewels). Bishamon may be young and beautiful but she does not wear any eastern jewels: she is rather clad with her regalias posed as weapons, navigation and clothes; thus it isn’t far off.

It is not only the superficial physical appearance that are similar with Durga and Bishamon; they also share some character similarities. The traditional Bishamonten is not known to have a mount or Divine Familiar, Bishamon in the anime on the other hand does a divine familiar in the form of mount: Kuraha, who takes the shape of Lion and can travel in the air. This is an iconic similarity with Durga, whose divine mount is a lion. In “hymns of Gandhesvari” Durga (or her Gandhesvari form) is described as “Simhasta” (the one who rides a lion). Durga is also known as “Simha vahini” (she whose vehicle is a lion). The Bishamonten is known to carry only one weapon, a spear, but Bishamon in Noragami has or carries multiple weapons because she has multiple regalia. In the “Meditation of Durga” the goddess is known to carry a goad, bow and arrow, executioner’s sword, discus, conch, mace, shield, rosary and the trident. Bishamon too carries multiple weapons: whip, guns, knife long machete etc, just like Goddess Durga herself. One part of Durga’s weapon is “Aveda barma” or the “impenetrable armour” forged by the ironsmith of the Gods, Vishwakarma (the forger of the universe). Bishamon wears a full blown armour by her regalia Aiha when the Ebisu-crisis occured and she had to journey to underworld.

Now, in the parallel of two warrior goddesses who seem to be far from society’s idea of ideal femininity, where does the nurturing part fit? According to the Hindu mythology Durga is only a fragment of the ideal femininity: the rightful rage of “Adi Shakti” (Ancient Energy), the Female mother goddess. (Excuse my jargon) in the “Durga Saptashati” of Rigveda, the Goddess is described as “mother of all creation” (verse no 3) and at the same time she is described as “creator, sustainer and destroyer of the world” (verse no 4) of which she is the Mother. Bishamon has an extensive collection of regalia: she does not discriminate who is weak or who is useful, she takes everyone in as her own according to Noragami Wiki:

“She willingly accepts any wandering and troubled spirit, useful or not, and adds them to her family. “

She and her Shinkis live in Takamagahara which is the universe on its own, so she is the guardian and mother of her Shinkis in a way. Takamagahara is situated in a place which has golden hued galaxy as the backdrop of the sky. The form of Durga which alludes to the primeval Female Goddess is called “Bhuvaneswari” (she, whose body is the universe). The shinkis or regalias derive strength from her divine existence and they exist in a palpable form because of her. It again alludes to “Devi Suktam” (the introduction of the Goddess) where is has been mentioned:

“ I am the Queen of the Universe; I give wealth to those who worship me. I am the all-knowing one and the prime one among the worshippable deities. I enter many bodies as the Soul, taking various forms and with different manifestations, in various ways. ... That one who eats food, who sees, breathes, and hears whatever is said, he does all that only through me (my powers). Those who do not understand me, die. “ --(Devi Suktam, verse 4 & 5)

The sense of being center of the universe has brought a tremendous sense of loss and grief to the goddesses in many occassion. In the myths, when Goddess Parvati (the calm version of Durga) loses her child Ganesha, she assumes her rageful spirit again to destroy the universe that has taken her child from her. Bishamon has faced tremendous sense of loss and grief when she lost her “Ma” clan due to the malefic thoughts of the Shinkis--an action which blighted her tremendously. She too assumes a vengeful spree towards Yato, who allegedly slaughtered her “Ma” clan.

In short Bishamon is a great representation of motherly strength in anime field: the term “mother” often evokes a sense of tenderness, security and comfort, but it has been proven in the ancient myth that bringing life into the world and the sense of protectiveness towards life is the most powerful energy of all: it can make an break everything in existence and when the motherly tenderness is challenged it can manifest in one of the most destructive forces in the world. Thus the “ugly broad” “stern powerhouse” persona is only skin deep. The essence of Bishamon is far greater and more empowering.

* In ancient India, full breasts of a woman, which are swollen with milk was granted as a symbol of motherly power, nourishment and comfort. A woman with moderate breast size or small breast size were considered equally beautiful. In fact talking about sexuality in religious and secular discourses by scholars and sages were acceptable. It has no sexual connotation whatsoever. Please don’t perverse it in any sense.

...

wow that’s a lot, now tags (although I have no evidence that they like Noragami)

: @sidd-hit-my-butt-ham @yanderebakugo @kurokonbscenarios @kurokonobasket @kurokonoboisket @art-zites @idinaxye @sp-chernobyl @strawbe3ryshortcake @reservethemoon @rilnen @a-shy-potato @thirsthourdemon @animebxxch @edagawasatoru @akawaiishi-blog @reinyrei @chloe-noir @theswahn @ahobaka-trash @jeilliane @trashtoria @scarlettedwardsposts @quirkydarling @ghostieswaifu @levihan-freaks @hope-im-spirited-away @yves0809 @marshiro1101 @bubziles @heartfullofknb @kit-kat57 @akichan-th

#bishamon #noragami #ugly broad of noragami #bishamon goddess #shintoism #durga #noragami analysis #feminine narrative #anime analysis #girl power #mother goddess #shintoism rigveda #vedas

76 notes · View notes

a-pool-of-battery-acid · 3 years ago

Text

Pinned Post 📍

-----

Info about me:

-I'm a minor

-Im not sure my pronouns, but She/Her and They/Them is just fine?

-You can just refer to me by any word in my username

-Main is @darling-dolly-darlene (I say this so you can tell if I liked your post, replied to you, or sent an ask)

-Spamton is my favorite Deltarune character though thats pretty obvious eh? I also like Susie, Queen, Swatch (and Swatchlings), the Addisons, Lancer, Rouxls, Jevil, and Seam?

-I, dont think I have any least favorite or hated characters? Closest are Ralsei, Noelle, and Berdly who I feel entirely neutral towards, but nothing negative, I think they're pretty neat

-Chapter 2 is my favorite bdksbdks

-I have a tendency to refer to people exclusively by some shortened form of their username, if I interact with you a bit and you're uncomfy with that, please tell me! And I shall try to refer to you by whatever you've asked me to call you ^v^

-I personally think of the addisons as siblings, but as there is no canon information proving or denying this, I am perfectly fine with people who consider them friends or in a romantic relationship following or interacting with me! If I want a specific post of mine to not be tagged as ship, I'll say such

-All my posts are ask to tag

-----

Info about this blog:

-All posts that are my own (anything that's not a reblog or submission) shall be tagged "a pool of battery acid"

-Posts that are not my own shall be tagged "not battery acid"

-Self reblogs shall be tagged "reused battery acid"

-Asks and submissions, starting now, will be tagged "a glass of battery acid"

-yea it's alot of battery acid, I'm trying to have a theme going on here. Though I would make asks and submissions something phone related if a could think of anything

-Art tags are "my art", "my doodles", and "rest in w.i.p" (Please do not rb posts tagged rest in w.i.p)

-Asks are always open and adored!

-Reblogs are better than likes and I absolutely adore seeing tags or comments in your reblogs!

-Current number of art requests in inbox: 3

-Current number of asks in inbox: 0

-----

Info about requesting art:

-Art requests are currently: open. But haha my interest in things is jumping wildly right now so if you send one dont expect it to be done anytime soon bdksbdks

-Art requests open for any Deltarune or Undertale character, I will delete unrelated requests, and perhaps block people who consistently send unrelated requests

-Please do no send requests for: Nsfw, Suggestive, Oc's, or concerning ships (ex: minor x adult, big age gaps or relative x relative)

-Ship requests are fine! Though I may put in less effort because I dont like drawing characters interacting bsksbdks

-I have several artstyle types that you can specify for when requesting (with linked examples):

Lineart: Doodle lines, Dolly lines, Scratchy lines.

Style: Art Style A (my normal style), Artstyle B (a more stylized style, I tend to draw regular spamton kinda like this actually), Chibi, Traditional

#📍

8 notes · View notes

samwritesforyou · 4 years ago

Text

We’re gonna be okay

Diego x reader

Summary: You and Diego worked out a system for a situation if he ever comes to your place while being in the highest form of distress and needs your help. He assured you it won’t happen often. Until one night, it finally did.

A/N: i feel like i’ve read the whole tumblr dot com worth of diego x reader fanfics and yet i still wanted more, so the desperate need to finally write something myself has been fulfilled. i would actually love to take requests, so if you want, dont hesitate to message/ask me! im ready to write fics and headcanons :) (my blog might seem new but ive been on tumblr for years and years and i finally dedicated a new blog to mostly reader inserts, either my own or reblogging others)

Warnings: Mentions of a panic attack, gender neutral reader

Wordcount: 3,350

There was a knock on the door.

It was pretty late, but not too late for it to be Diego yet.

Or so you thought.

You got up kinda lazily from a comfortable chair you had situated in the corner of a room, at first designed mainly for reading or napping, but ending up doing absolutely whatever you could on the spot. Eating pizza, watching netflix, browsing through the internet after long working hours that you put in into your tiny art selling business.

You slightly opened the door and already plastered a semi-fake smile for a possible neighbor, but in front of you stood Diego.

Your dear friend, who was at the moment soaked from the rain outside, with big eyes, fast breathing and bloody hands.

Bloody hands?!

“Hello to you too, friend!” you said quite worried, quickly patting him down for signs of any physical pain. For the first time in a while he seemed fine, unscarred.

Your eyes finally went up, literally scanning his face but it was completely unreadable.

His eyes were wide and he looked as if he couldn’t comprehend what was going on around him.

You looked down again and took his fists into your hands. His own palms unclenched and you could see that they were heavily bloodied.

“Diego.. whose blood is it?”

No answer.

You rushed him inside and closed the door behind the two of you, facing the damn vigilante again.

“Diego, I need to know who’s blood is on your hands,” your voice grew steadier as you knitted your brows together in worry and confusion.

Only then the guy decided to move his arms and you noticed how shaky he is. He connected his two index fingers in the form of a cross, pressing it to his chest.

Your own eyes went wide now as you stumbled back a few steps and your mind went blank.

You instantly remembered a night that happened a few years back. He has come in crumbling through your window and was obviously in some new form of distress, that you couldn’t quite understand yet.

“Diego?” it seemed like your voice didn’t reach his ears, so you tried calling out his name again, getting up from the couch and patting him lightly on the body, to determine any sign of an injury.

It looked like there was none, so you tried to reach his gaze that was somewhat absentminded, all over the place, scanning everything but not meeting your eyes.

He was a tough guy, and you knew it. You knew that if you want to get answers, you need to either get them yourself or make yourself heard, until he cannot ignore you any longer.

“Diego Hargreeves, what is going on?” your voice was soft yet determined.

His dark orbs finally stopped on your face and he just shook his head, his breathing oddly fast for a man who was just simply standing.

You continued to push. You didn’t have the best day either, and to be interrupted at 1am by his visit was nothing new, but you couldn’t let him have this behaviour. Even though you’re friends, that didn’t automatically mean that he could do whatever he wanted.

Throughout the whole night he didn’t say a thing, but when you started adding volume to your voice, he.. he just broke down.

That night, you’ve witnessed Diego experience a panic attack. Caused by yourself.

You couldn’t fall asleep that night, even after you eventually calmed him down and the only thing that was left to do for you was to watch him sleep and slowly rubbing circles on his exposed arm out of the blanket.

It felt like neons before you noticed a first ray of sunshine drawing from the half-closed curtains, making you spring to your feet and drag your ass to the kitchen, trying to think of what to do for breakfast.

When you figured the recipe out and finished cooking, Diego was already up and joined you near the kitchen counter, next to which you had two stools.

He settled on one of them, looking at you.

“Hey.”

“Hey,” you couldn’t muster anything better, so you just put a plate in front of him and then sat next to his side, simply digging into your portion of scrambled eggs.

“About last night, y/n..” he drifted off, probably at first deciding that it’s better to fill his stomach a little bit.

In the meantime you didn’t dare to speak up and just waited for him to say something, anything.

When he finished his meal, he finally turned to you with a sigh.

“You know that one guy I told you ‘bout? That we.. we do some vigilante shit together from time to time?”

You just nodded, not meeting his eyes.

“Well. I guess I could count him as a close friend. You know.. and,” this was followed by a slight pause and clearing of the throat.

“He died yesterday. I couldn’t save him.”

Your eyes immediately shot up to Diego and all that vulnerability and hurt that you’ve clearly seen yesterday just overtaking him were completely gone. Now present only a strong facade that he mastered whenever he needed to hide from showing emotions. You hated it.

“Shit, Diego..” you spoke quietly and softly, all the words seemed to have left you in all the things unsaid in your throat. But you tried to continue.

“I’m sorry. And I’m also sorry for pushing you over the edge. I.. I didn’t know what happened so I just acted how we would normally do,” he smirked at that, merely for a second, but you still caught it.

“Look, I.. I know, “ he simply said and then it felt as if he was weighting pros and cons of telling you something else that was clearly on his chest.

“You always help me out. Every single night I come to you.. Why do you do it, y/n?” Diego’s eyes were steadily turned your way.

At the sudden question you raised an eyebrow, “well, I.. I care about you.”

He lightly bit his lower lip and turned his gaze away, clearly thinking about something really hard.

“Okay,” he finally said, “y/n, do you think I could ask you for a favour then?”

At that your eyes met and you felt nervous, for some reason.

You really liked him. Not just like a friend. But you understood that there probably won’t be a chance for you two to ever become a couple (mostly considering that you didn’t believe that he could feel about you this way), so you settled for friendship anyways, since you two really got along well.

And having this handsome tough guy as a friend? Damn, just that is already some kind of luck swinging your way.

But your feelings of course meant that.. you’d do more for him than what you’d do just for a friend. You would get out of your comfort zone just to help him with injuries or hear him talk about his girlfriend (at the time, now they were broken up) and how they argued so much that he ended up on the streets and didn’t really want to go to his lonely place at the gym.

And you took him in. You always did. And since the day you became friends you always care for him.

And you’d care now once again.

“What is it?” in your tone danced a question, troubled with what he might ask for.

“Well, yesterday-“ he cut himself from finishing and cleared his throat, starting over.

“I imagine we’re gonna be friends for a long time, right?”

You just pushed your brows up with a small nod in affirmation.

“I never had.. anyone, really, to help me with the states I often got into,” you immediately thought of Eudora, wasn’t his ex-girlfriend supposed to be his support pillar? Or is he just making you feel sorry for him-

“Or I didn’t ever trust anyone that much, you know,” oh, okay, that kind of explains that then.

“And I guess.. I trust you enough? To share this?” he talked quietly and mumbled a lot so you realised soon you won’t be able to hear him at all.

You grabbed his hands with yours and caught his attention this way.

You were never really touchy together, but occasional hugs and even holding hands was kind of a standard for you from time to time.

His eyes met yours again and you cursed yourself for your heartbeat getting faster. This is not an appropriate moment to get butterflies in your stomach, dammit.

“I’m listening, Diego,” you confirmed, nodding again.

“Okay. It’s- it’s just really h-hard to talk about this,” he stuttered a bit, but with the next breath continued again, “When there’s some situation that’s just completely fucked up, like losing someone close to me, or- or somethin’ else, I don’t know.. I finish what I need at the scene where it happened but when I come home I just,” he breathed some air in and you felt his hands squeeze yours a bit tighter, “I just break down, you know? Sometimes it’s just all too much for me and I don’t know how to deal with it and I would just wanna.. someone to hold me, I guess? Otherwise when someone’s trying to talk at me or somethin’ I just get even more worked up and it’s even worse.”

It all started to come together in your mind. Even though it sounded really strange to hear Diego talk about things like.. wanting to be held and shit. But you always guessed there’s a far bigger sweetheart and a soft boy underneath all those harness and knives.

You tried to pick your words carefully.

“So when I started to ask you shit.. You just flipped. Basically because I was talking at you a lot and you couldn’t take it anymore, right?”

He sighed and looked somewhere up, nodding bit by bit.

“Yeah, yep. That was it.”

You clapped at his hands lightly, to bring his focus back again and he looked at you and mustered a sad, faint smile.

You did the same. In the world you lived in, unforeseen and unfortunate events were happening left and right and thinking about his childhood and everything.. no wonders he developed such a huge reaction and coping mechanism to something catastrophic happening.

“That’s okay, Diego. I’m here for you, I mean it. Let’s just talk about some things what I should and shouldn’t do when you come here in that state, alright? I just want you to feel comfortable.”

“Alright. Thank you, y/n,” he was looking down now, the whole morning kinda failing to meet your gaze and just rubbed his thumb across your hand, which send you heart into a race again.

You slowly let go of him, making an excuse to go wash the dishes.

After a while you looked behind you where he sat and said, “We also need some sort of a sign that you can easily show me, since you’re not really talkative when you get like this.”

Apparently he already used said “sign” somewhere, because he had it on the ready.

It was his hands clutching in fists, index fingers crossing each other in a form of a cross, pressed to his chest.

“Something like this. But don’t worry, I don’t think it’ll happen often. That would be really sad,” he laughed a little and then looked at you somewhat longingly and you averted your eyes back to the sink, nodding.

You almost forgot about that and now it all come flooding back.

Something terrible must’ve happened. You were panicking, but you had to stay strong, for him.

He was still standing in your hallway, with a crossed index fingers pressed to his chest.

“Okay, okay..” you mumbled more to yourself than to him, taking his hands into yours and looking him up and down.

He really seemed.. disconnected. It was kind of scary and you tried so hard not to think about what happened. Or about who died.

“Here, come with me, Diego,” you led him by the hand towards your couch as he was holding onto you, but his usual grip was gone.

You both ended up on a sofa and you really didn’t know how to act around him now, because.. he didn’t talk, didn’t look at you but when he did, his eyes were wide and big and he just seemed suddenly like a small boy to you.

Hopefully he won’t remember this tomorrow, you thought and tried to smile a little bit at him.

“Okay. Can you get your hands up for me, baby boy?” You’ve decided to approach this situation as if you were just babysitting an overgrown child.

Because nothing bad happens to children normally, right? And if you kept thinking about him as usual grown man Diego, you’d lose your mind in the process, wanting to scream and shake him by the shoulders until he spills you what happened.

Being Diego’s friend pushed you to new limits each day, truly.

He didn’t bat an eyelid at your tone change and word choosing, just obliging and putting his hands up.

You helped him to get his knives down and put his black turtleneck over his head, so now he sat shirtless right next to you, hands still smeared with blood.

Goddamit the blood!

You took him by the elbows and lead Diego to the bathroom, where you helped to get the red out of his hands. At the sight of blood dripping down into the sink you deciphered a whimper from him, even through the sound of running water and looked up.

Diego couldn’t stop looking down at his hands and tears were running down his cheeks.

You quickly took his face into your wet hands from the water and forced him to look away and lock his gaze with yours.

“Hey, don’t look at it, okay? It’ll only make you stressed. Until I’m done you can just close you eyes, okay?”

“Oh-okay,” he said and just closed his eyes here and there.

You sighed and tried to finish washing his hands as fast as possible, cursing under your breath pretty often.

“I’m sorry..” you heard him mumble and when you looked up, his eyes were still shut.

“Nothin’ to be sorry about.. We’ll talk about this tomorrow, right? Don’t worry. You’re safe now,” you smiled as you were already wrapping his hands in a towel and his eyelashes fluttered, eyes opening.

You stayed looking at each other for a second longer than necessary, but then you already lead him away to the bedroom area, where you actually tucked him in, wrapping in a soft blanket and then rushed to the kitchen, grabbing a few cookies and then leaving it on a plate next to him on the night table.

You almost made yourself comfortable on the couch, when he suddenly called out your name from the bed.

You sprung to your feet, thinking he’s actually hurt but you didn’t notice or that- “Can you... stay with me? P-please?” he asked, disrupting your train of thought. You did expect this, but still felt really shy about that.

Diego is vulnerable right now and does need your help and presence though.

And there wouldn’t be anything you wouldn’t do for him.

“Sure,” and after this simple answer you carefully climbed in next to him covering you both with a blanket and he curled up closer to you, almost immediately falling asleep.

From one point of view it felt like you wouldn’t sleep at all tonight, but from the other one.. you actually fell asleep just as fast as he did.

To nobody’s surprise you woke up first and actually flinched at the sight of sleeping Diego inches from your own face.

Your mind went running with ideas what happened and what’s going on until you realised the real deal and your brain caught up to yesterday’s shenanigans.

It was a wild ride and you were thankful that now it’s - most probably - over.

Your eyes were subconsciously scanning his face, until you realised what you’re doing, but you didn’t stop even then.

You’ve never been this close to his face yet and now you could admire and explore every part of it.

Having feelings for a friend that’s laying in the same bed with you at the moment is really not the healthiest thing that could’ve happened to you, huh..

You actually froze and your heart started racing billion times faster when you realised that you have a weight of his arm around your waist, pulling you closer from his sleep.

He grunted and his nose was now in your hair, shuffling a little to get more comfortable.

You had no idea how to change positions, especially when being held by such a strong arm as his and you got a feeling like Diego might actually wake up just about now, so the best solution that came into your mind was to forcefully close your eyes shut and pretend that you’re still sleeping.

He did, indeed, wake up. You were suddenly pushed to the other side of the bed, arm disappearing from your waist and a waterfall of curses fell from his lips quietly.

You used up all your acting stamina to make a believable scene of you gaining your conscious from the deep slumber that you were obviously in, stretched your arms for a good effect and finally opened your eyes.

You immediately signed up for a staring contest as soon as you looked at him and smiled a little. His face remained unreadable but perhaps a little bit flustered?.. But you may be reading too much into it.

“Hi,” you said with a higher tone than intended and Diego just nodded at that.

You tried your luck by addressing the elephant in the room right away, you never liked ignoring the problems that were always looming over you, “care to tell me what happened yesterday?”

He drew a big sigh and rested his head back on the pillow, looking up at the ceiling.

You couldn’t stop looking at him. At first because you really wanted to know the mystery, but the longer you looked at him, the more you realised that you’re just admiring the beauty that he holds, until his words fell like a dead weight right onto your shoulders.

“I found Eudora’s body yesterday. I couldn’t get to the place in time and someone killed her.”

What?

It felt like what he said was simply a trick of your imagination. You liked Eudora yourself, she was a very intelligent and an interesting person, you two often hung out and that feeling didn’t cease even after you found out that she and Diego started dating.

And even when they broke up some months after, you still found your way to spend time with her. So did Diego.

You wanted to cry, but thought that it might be insensitive towards him, because he was much closer to her than you were, so you tried to swallow your forming tears down.

“I’m.. I’m so sorry, Diego..”

“It’s your loss too, I know it, y/n,” he looked at you with much softer look this time.

“Come here,” he said a little bit hesitantly and opened up one arm towards you.

This was unusual, but maybe last night’s events tore down some walls?.. Who knows.

You almost threw yourself into his embrace and once your forehead rested on his chest, you started crying.

From everything, honestly. There’s been problems at work, your seemingly unrequited feelings for Diego didn’t help much either and now you learned that you lost one of your friends.

He started rubbing circles on your back, just letting you get those emotions out, while you two were hugging each other on the bed in your apartment.

And as you slowly started to calm down, he said a gentle, “it’s gonna be okay. We’re gonna be okay”

#diego x reader #diego hargreeves x reader #tua diego #diego reader insert #the umbrella academy #tua fanfic #umbrella academy x reader #diego hargreeves #number two

151 notes · View notes

freebooter4ever · 4 years ago

Text

i’ve seen the discussion going back and forth on boundaries and sexual objectification, and i don’t have much to add to the conversation other than to say everyone is allowed to determine their OWN ‘lines’ and just because we don’t vocalize them doesn’t make them any less valid. but here’s the limits i set for my blog if anyone feels it is important for them to know (<3):

personally I consider ‘characters’ fair game for anything goes, with ‘public personas’ a little more iffy. ‘RPF’ isn’t new - it just takes on a new more accessible/visible form nowadays. i remember reading my first fic about a ‘real person’ back in my LOTR fandom days - it was a story in first person perspective about the main character meeting orlando bloom on a plane before he was ‘famous’. like a lot of these types of stories, it wasnt so much about the person as it was about the meet cute. the actor was just a convenient placeholder with a handsome face and some personality quirks thrown in to make the romance/dialogue more specific. i personally dont read much xReader fic nowadays, but mostly only cause i’m an old fart who can’t relate to the ‘you’ format. i miss the good old days when people actually created OC’s and then inserted them into things LOL. but also LOL if you think i’ve gone an entire year of quarantine without some imagined personal fantasies of joe mazzello (or steve aoki in the years before)(ramilicious can attest to this. she can also attest to most of these fantasies ending in friendship rather than anything explicit cause that’s just how i roll these days lol). the line i draw is i would never post these types of fics in a place where the subject could accidentally find them - you have to go looking for this stuff on tumblr, most fics are given explicit ratings and under read-mores. with the blacklist tags it’s pretty easy to filter things out. its even easier to add filters to ao3 searches. i am NOT going to do something like message steve aoki and say ‘yeah i watched that movie Ibiza like five times, here is my 1k fic where you’re the dj and i’m the one night stand’. but obviously people still enjoy imagining scenarios like these otherwise movies like Ibiza wouldn’t exist?

for art, i consider anything already on display up for grabs, we all know a certain person’s ass is all over the place...all you have to do is google ‘need for speed’ and rami’s name. HOWEVER, in the case of actors i personally would not draw anything more explicit than what’s already there. i’m not gonna draw full frontal nudity for rami (unless he gifts us with it in a movie, i suppose) or anyone. this is 100% a personal choice for me.

i was a sophomore or junior in college when i volunteered as a figure drawing monitor where i’d time the nude model’s poses and help them set up the stage and lighting and such. there was this one guy in his mid forties probably, a regular who came every week, and i always thought of him fondly till one day (the day after i ran into my Hot Programming TA during dinner and later sent him an email begging him to go on a date with me because i was desperate for kissing experience)(and Hot Programming TA emailed me back within minutes saying yes) this artist guy who i saw all the time and thought i knew fairly well, decided to draw me instead of the model. which would have been fine except he drew me naked. i was NOT naked at the time, i was wearing a shirt, and a bra, and a full prairie skirt with alternating calico and floral patterns. he drew what he imagined was underneath all that. he came up to me after the figure drawing session and showed me his drawings and told me i had been ‘glowing’ and my response was to laugh it off awkwardly and get the hell out of there as soon as i gave the model their pay check. but inwardly i was thinking a) i was NOT glowing for this creepy man twice my age and b) i did NOT give him consent to sexualize my body under my clothes and then SHOW me that objectification. i never said anything to him or anything else, i continued to be the monitor, and i continued to field off creepy advances from him including multiple job offers, but when i finally realized i could just...stop..and i passed the student volunteer monitor job on to my friend naeem, i also realized that what that older male artist did was NOT ok in my book. and it was probably not something he would do while naeem was monitoring.

nowadays im working in an industry that regularly objectifies female bodies. in the past year alone i have had to deal with requests to make breasts bigger, i have been given character rigs that in addition to the usual elbow, knee, and spine joints also have ‘nipple’ joints but ONLY for the women (to make them jiggle for animation), every time i send out a female pose i get it back with notes that push it further into the sexy type of body language reserved for women (twist the spine more! sway the back more! give it ‘energy!’), i have been told to erase wrinkles and fat and pores but ONLY for the women (men you ADD pores bc realism! and manliness!) and this is all me working for a company that is actually fairly progressive in terms of sexism compared to OTHER studios.

like it or not, sexual objectification is a huge part of specifically women’s lives and how we react to that is our business. for me, turning the tables and putting men on display feels like fair’s fair. i cant stop the men from doing it, so if i want to enjoy sexualizing male bodies, damn it im gonna! like dang it, boy do i want to send steve aoki a thank you note every time he posts a video of himself doing those ice baths during the sunset golden hour bc holy shit gorgeous or working out in his gym wearing VERY little clothes, but i dont because i know what its like when someone imposes their personal fantasies on the subject. or, god, there was that time i had to unfollow nicole’s insta for a while bc i had a very explicit dream about her and realized, shit, i need to take a break and get my emotions under control before i can refollow. and god some of the stuff i see dudes sending her during her live videos on mental illness/meditation is TOTALLY gross and not something they should be confronting her with. and she’s not even ‘famous’ famous. or how some fans send their idols explicit direct messages without consent. THAT feels inappropriate to me.

a part of me feels like i shouldn’t have to defend this. men don’t. they’re even encouraged in mass media to sexualize women. but i also recognize the importance of talking about consent. the importance of recognizing that a celebrity deserves to have their boundaries respected. these are my lines in fandom. other people have different lines they won’t cross, and that’s okay to me. i block or blacklist any blogs or tags i think go over the top.

heck, even in fandom-only spaces i still try to keep my own more sexual fantasies off this blog and only in private messages with my friends and mutuals, and i feel like that might come across as unintentionally prudish or judgmental sometimes. i’m not ‘horny on main’ very often. but like...every time i reblog that particular ‘washing machine’ gif of joe mazzello am i thinking about him naked and thinking about how he’s got very loooooong feet, and ‘gee i wonder if that means /other/ things are Too Big for my tastes’ but also ‘gosh wouldnt that make a pretty picture to draw’???? hell yeah.

i dont know who is gonna actually read this essay but yolo i guess :)

#journal shit

15 notes · View notes

kkairosclerosis · 4 years ago

Text

uncommon things i associate my deities with~

hi guys! im back from a quick hiatus!

i recently moved to the city, but not too far from where i lived previously in the country. living in the city, however, is proving to be a bit more difficult then i had imagined, so ive been taking some weekends to go back home and ground myself again so i can feel more connected to my craft<3.

anyways, this morning, i was sitting on the porch of my parents farmhouse, looking out onto the sunset as my idiot dog ran laps around the frost-covered lawn, feeling more connected to my deities than i had in weeks. i decided, ‘hey, here a nice post idea. maybe ill talk abt the things i associate with my deities that others might not, and hopefully inspire them to as well!’ so, here it is!

uncommon things i associate my deities with!

hermes��—««

if this isnt your first time on my blog, you probably know: hermes is my patron. he has been for a while, even before i began to worship him. if you want to know more about why, check out this post.

regardless, you can imagine that i hold very dear everything i associate with him.

in this case, it’s my dog.

my dog is an...interesting border collie named oliver. i got into hellenic worship very shortly after getting him, and i have a very strong feeling he has a lot to do with it.

i am thoroughly convinced my dog is a child of hermes. hes chaotic, but extremely smart. very, very fast, and spends hours running out in the yard. just running. nothing else. its even more intense when its windy, which, if you read the aforementioned post, you know that i associate the wind heavily with hermes. hermes is also the god of animal husbandry, and oliver is quite the farm animal.

watching him run, i always get a strong sense of comfort. i know that the energy of hermes resides in him, its very clear. its almost as if his running brings the wind. like hes running, and hermes says ‘hey, that looks fun! let me join!’

i, very regularly, ask for hermes protection of oliver. i do this because i know of the love hermes has for him. i can feel it. it makes me comfortable knowing hes safe while im not home with him. and i can tell it makes oliver feel safe as well.

aphrodite——««

aphrodite has always been dear to me, even before i started actually worshipping. i remember reading about her in the mythology books i frequented in the art room after i finished my projects, carrying them out to the field to just sit and read. she was an embodiment of beauty to me, and that has not changed since, so its natural that i associate her with one of the things i find most beautiful on this plane of existence: clouds.

when i was thinking of writing this post, i was sitting and looking at a cloudless sky. i was thinking: why is it that we most often consider a cloudless sky beautiful? is it because of the absence of ‘blemish?’ does a cloud signify a flaw? must all beautiful things be completely clear, or without mark?

obviously, i thought this was ridiculous. clouds are so very dear to me. i mean, i have an entire album of photos on my phone of pictures of clouds i have taken. i have always been enamored.

while i was pondering this, it hit me. beauty is unique. beauty is individual. thats exactly what aphrodite is about. these ‘marks’ in the sky are what make the sky beautiful to me. aphrodite is in these ‘blemishes’ because i find them beautiful.

now, i dont mean to wrap this up in a corny way, but i encourage the people reading this to think this way about themselves. beauty is in your imperfections because they make you you. i have not seen one cloud that looks exactly like another i have seen, and thats exactly what makes them so beautiful to me. aphrodite loves all of you, and someone else does as well, so do not disrespect them by being mean to yourself. their idea of beauty is not misconstrued, so trust them. and if you dont think someone thinks your beautiful, know that i do<3.

apollo——««

apollo, to me, has always been sort of an enigma. i have a harder time interpreting his signs, especially recently, and i think that its particularly because of my recent falling out with my creative side. i have sort of abandoned my art, and it think its difficult for him to communicate with me through anything else.

one thing, however, i can feel him in is the sound of the birds in the morning. particularly, roosters.

as i mentioned before, my parents live on a farm. its natural to hear roosters first thing in the morning. some people find it annoying, but to me, its incredibly comforting. it means another morning has come. i’ve lived another day, and i have a whole new one to look forward to, until i hear the rooster the next morning. it means the sun is rising, and apollo rises with him.

as a witch who particularly enjoys the sunrise, but has a hard time waking up to see it, the roosters serve as a sort of natural alarm clock. even if i do not physically get up to see the sunrise, i know it is happening, and i am awake for that first moment of dawn. it brings me comfort and a sense of small accomplishment, even on really difficult days.

and the days im in the city, and cant hear the roosters, its the morning songs of the birds in the part right next to my apartment building. this might be even more so, as apollo is the god of music.

its a different type of comfort to wake up to the chill of the morning and hear the birds, knowing its a deity that loves me and wants to see me the next morning as well. i hope you, dearest reader, come to feel the same:).

asclepius——««

now, i haven’t talked about this much on this blog, but to me, asclepius has been such a pillar for me as of recent. with the pandemic and my own current health situation, i rely on him a lot for hope and support. i ask him to protect both me and my friends and family from illness or ailment, and in case of ailment, i ask him to facilitate a speedy recovery. thus far, he has never failed me, and i do not ever expect him to. i put my trust in him wholly.

other than health, i find myself associating asclepius with cleanliness. while i see asclepius as the medic, i also see him as someone who is clean and organized. this is why i associate him with dewdrops.

now, bear with me in my explanation. morning dew, to me, feels clean. it feels almost pure, as it is one of the first forms of moisture a person can be met with during the day.

picture it now. you wake up at sunrise, and venture out into your yard, the chill of the am just tickling at your face, cooling your nose to the touch. you take your first step off of the deck, and your bare feet sink into the grass, cold, and now wet from the dew. the feeling is shocking at first, as your feet get used to the new temperature, fresh out of the warm comfort of your blanket that sits invitingly on your bed inside.

but the feeling is fresh. its grounding. its healing.

that, to me, is how asclepius feels.

sobek——««

i must be honest, sobek is the reason this post came to existence. i feel extremely strong about this one, particularly because i feel that sobek is under-appreciated and misunderstood as a god. i constantly encourage people to include sobek in their worship, as he, to me, has proven to be one of the most reliable gods i have ever worked with. i feel such a sense of comfort and love within him. i could sit in his energy for hours, days even. especially as a person who suffers from bouts of paranoia, his energy is one to learn to accept and become.

for me, i see sobek in flowers.

not many would see this, as sobek has this image of a tough, crocodile, protection god, which he is. but what a lot of people forget, is that sobek is also a god of fertility, particularly in harvest. in fact, sobek has done so much for my family’s farm. our garden is plentiful, and our harvests are more than we know what to do with. we end up making a lot of extra things with it, and giving it away to family friends and neighbors. i genuinely think that sobek creates abundance in our garden so he can give to our community. that is how loving i know him to be.

however, what i specified was flowers. one of the most common offerings i give to sobek are roses. he seems to love them. sobek seems to protect that of which he loves, and roses are a symbol of love for me. i want to attempt to give him what he has given me.

my family has a wildflower garden in front of our home. the morning i was sitting on the porch, i felt his presence, and i immediately looked to the flowers. delicate, yet extremely strong, and persevering. thats how i wish to be, and i can feel sobek in the encouragement of the flowers.

i hope that didn’t come off too corny, although im pretty sure it did lol. i hope that this post was a good insight into my deities and how i understand them to be! again, disclaimer, not everyone experiences the gods in the same ways! some may agree with this post wholeheartedly, and some may have completely different experiences that make them disagree entirely! i am not one to gatekeep and define what the divine is, because the divine shows itself in different ways to different people. i hope you enjoyed this post, and have a wonderful day!

p.s. i love you and you’re worth it!

50 notes · View notes

arseneiic · 3 years ago

Text

Short, sweet, and to the point. Follow these rules and we all have a great time.

1. Mutuals only. I must be following you and you must be following me. Only those that I follow can like starter calls, send in character asks, and reply to posts.

1a. I will not interact with non-Mutuals, that includes asks, unless it’s done anonymously and it doesn’t have a url attached. Anyone who breaks this rule will get about a few pardons but after that will be blocked.

2. My time is limited here in what I can do. This means that I am very selective in what I reply to. Doesn’t necessary mean that I am ignoring anyone. Some days I reply to everything and everyone, others I am so burnt out from irl things or work that I just lurk and do the bare minimum. My mental health and well-being comes before anything else.

2a. Replies vary by length and time. I normally work eight to ten hours a day and experience a lot of exhaustion. Unless I don’t see a thread or an ask going anywhere and publicly make a post saying it’s been dropped, consider everything as pending / will do ASAP. Memes are okay to send in late unless it clearly states, not accepting. My timezone is Eastern Standard Time or EST. United States is where I am located at. I am usually online from 10 PM EST to 3 AM EST unless it’s a day off from work, which the online time will vary from 12 PM EST to 3 AM EST.

2b. Role-playing is a hobby, not a job. Do not pester me for replies or asks to be answered. I am not obligated to owe anyone anything on this website. I am human and can’t cater to everyone’s needs. Being persistent here is not going to make me answer yours faster than other people.

2c. Don’t follow, unfollow, and then refollow my blog. It’s not going to make me want to follow you back, ever. It’s annoying and no one is being crafty by doing that. If you continue to do this and it isn’t a tumblr glitch, I will be inclined to block and possibly report for spam.

3. If you do need to break mutuals with me, HARD BLOCK my blog. Don’t just UNFOLLOW or SOFT BLOCK because chances are that I could mistakenly follow you again. And that’s something we both don’t want since it would be quite awkward.

3a. I have the right to unfollow whoever I want to and so do you. Please don’t go on a hunt and try to guilt trip me into following you back again. Just don’t. I can and will tell you the reason why I unfollowed you but other than that, just let me leave in peace.

3b. Personal blogs and non RP blogs will be blocked on site. Please, if you have a side blog let me know through asks so I don’t accidentally block you. IMs are not a good way to let me know since they are closed for non-mutuals.

4. Duplicates are welcomed to follow me. The more the merrier. I do not suffer from same muse anxiety and encourage any of the same muse to follow me. Only request is that you don’t steal my headcanons, edits or icons. Other than that, we should all be able to have a good time. I’m always up for twin verses or alternate universes shenanigans.

4a. Original Characters are allowed to follow me. However, they need to be a little flesh out before I make a decision to follow them back or not. Just a small backstory or biography is all that I need. Headcanons also work if there isn’t an about page but must have about one page worth for me to consider following.

4b. Crossover Characters from other shows are allowed to follow me but I must know about said muse or else I’ll have a hard time whether to follow or not. Few fandoms I won’t interact with because I have no interest in these series are: Avatar the Last Airbender, Avatar the Legend of Korra. ( more to be added ).

5. I am a multi-ship blog. Arsene himself is ageless but his physical form is around 25 when he became a shadow / persona / demon and as such, I will only be shipping him romantically with muses around the 20s to 30s range. Some threads may get a little spicy but nothing that requires a ‘do not read at work’ type of posts. I will tag those post that are suggestive with a ‘spicy: tw & spicy for ts’ and ‘Looks like someone needs proper punishment’ for blacklisting purposes.

5a. I am open to all kinds of ships, not just romantic ones. I also enjoy platonic, rivalry, and familiar bonds. All ships are open to discussions through my IM(s) or otherwise known as Instant Messenger. Chemistry is key. As long as we interact a little, there’s always the chance that both muses can be in a relationship.

6. Things for you to tag for me are: BIRDS, CHAIN LETTERS, ORGANS, DOGS. For the birds and dogs, just in real life ones trigger me. I am fine with cartoon / art / video game ones as they are not real.

6a. Things I’ll tag for you: BLOOD, GORE, DEATH, BODY HORROR, EYE HORROR, INSECTS, MAGGOTS, BRUISES, SCARS, GUNS, KNIVES, CLOWNS. If there are anything I missed that you want tagged, please let me know through IM(s).

7. I am over the age of eighteen. However, I refuse to write smut as I am not comfortable with that subject to begin with. Please never force me to write this with you and if you keep sending things to me in this type of nature, I will report you, no questions asked.

7a. If I see any form of hate and I find out it was you that sent it, I will immediately BLOCK you. No questions asked. Life is too short to send unwanted hate, anon or not. All anon hate and hate towards me and my characters ( s ) in general will be reported and then blocked, no questions asked.

8. My pen name on here is SERE. Obviously, that is not my real name but it’s what I go by. It’s short for ‘Serena’, the English name that DIC gave Usagi Tsukino in the Americanized version of Sailor Moon. It’s pronounced; SIR-REE.

9. I am not a meme source. If you need to reblog a meme from my blog and don’t plan to send me anything, reblog from the source. I hardly get asks as it is, and for you to just use me as a meme source puts a bad taste in my mouth and I feel like I’m being used, which isn’t a good feeling. If you wonder if you should send in a meme to me, please do. I love getting asks. I do hoard them from time to time like a dragon hoards treasure but I do get to them eventually. The more memes / asks, the merrier.

9a. Feel free to turn inbox replies into threads. Just remember to make separate post when replying. Do not reblog threads not meant for you and don’t reblog my headcanons. It’s okay to reblog my asks though if you want them to be keepsakes on your own blog. Also, it’s alright to reblog musings and images from me.

10. I rather not be bothered by callout posts and any potential drama that might accumulate. I am just here to have fun and I hope everyone else can too. Life is too short to spend on certain things that don’t matter in the long run. If I see multiple call out posts from you in a single day or that’s all you post, I will quietly unfollow you.

11. Out of character posts will be on here from time to time. Mostly talking about life in general or me venting once in a great while. If this annoys you, please remember that this is my blog, not yours. You are welcomed to unfollow / block at any time.

11a. The best way to interact with me is to send memes / asks / inbox things. I am always up for unprompted things in my inbox. Also, my instant messenger is always open if someone needs to contact me out of character or to plot something. Don’t hesitate to talk to me. I will try my best to respond.

11b. Not interacting after a month or two with me and my blog will make me silently unfollow you or result in a soft block. Or if you don’t interact with me at all, even out of character. Also, if you are gone for more than 6 months, I consider your blog inactive and will probably assume that you aren’t going to return.

12. I’m really laid-back in nature so don’t feel pressure to reply to anything I send to you. I understand that life happens and that sometimes you just need to unwind from the stress of daily life.

13. For pronouns; either SHE/HER or THEY/THEM is okay with me. My orientation is DEMIROMANTIC ASEXUAL. I love anime, manga, video games, music, drawing, and writing. If you read all of this, then thank you! I won’t ask for passcodes but please still try to remember these at some point. That’s all I ask. <3.

( rules may be updated from time to time so please check here once in awhile. I will also post when these are updated as well ).

#long post: tw #rules;;#laws;;#mobile rules;;#mobile laws;;

2 notes · View notes