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lains-reality · 2 years ago

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hi :) i hope you’re having a wonderful day

you’re literally the only blogger i trust when it comes to non-duality, and your advice has been the one i’ve been most easily able to apply/understand. I hope this doesn’t come off as a vent, but it probably will just because this question is so complicated and problem riddled, and tbh idek if you’re actually going to respond, but yea. it’s like star wars you’re my obi wan kenobi! my last hope lol

basically i’ve put my life on hold and procrastinated everything i’ve needed to do. (TW: death?? health problems/sa?) I went through a really bad year, last year. the human character i identify with (non-dualistic terms, bc ik this character isn’t me?) was sa’d in the beginning of the year. really traumatic. i dropped out of school, i couldn’t go out of the house because i feared for my life. i became super paranoid. i reported it and filed charges, but the justice system is fucked so.

anyways, after because the amount of stress i was experiencing, i became very ill. my biological father wished death on me, and i believed it at the time, because my sibling wished for me to get raped, and then it happened. i can see now, how my belief may or may not have been the cause of what happened. i then got cancer. the doctors couldn’t figure it out for months, and even ridiculed me- saying how i relied on google.

i finally went to a specialist who was immediately concerned, and then confirmed my suspicions. i was sort of friends with a blogger on here who got into the void and manifested their dream life. they went into the void for me and affirmed that i no longer had cancer, and that i could tap/wake up in the void. the next day, the huge lump/tumor on my neck was gone. all of my ailments- trouble breathing, patchy and rough skin ceased. i literally told my mother what happened which made her start believing in the power of “manifestation”.

because of the paranoia, and then cancer- i didn’t go to school my last 2 years of school. i switched to online, but never felt the need to complete my classes because i knew i would get into the void. i’ve gotten into the void, both by waking up/tapping into it but i haven’t been able to change my awareness, or “manifest” bc i was just mumbo jumbing words or poetry. i didn’t apply to university, because i thought i’d enter the void before then and revise my school grades + make it so i got into the university of my choice.

now, i have a week left before i have to finish my classes- which i have 7 of them, and so many assignments. i have to move out in the middle of august because i lied to my parents and said i got into university, because i thought i would’ve already changed things with the void by now. my life was fucked, then i fucked my life. after discovering non-duality i gained hope that i would be able to turn things around by now, yet i haven’t. i don’t know what i’m doing wrong, because i was able to show myself the truth of reality (as lester levinson said).

i am really stressing because now everything is falling down on itself. i try to forget my problems, and don’t give them life by letting go, yet it’s so hard when teachers are bombarding me with messages how i have to finish the classes, or how i have to move out soon. i know this is probably ego driven, but i feel as if i can’t see a way through because of how attached i am to this. my health has also been abnormal, which makes me fear that the cancer has returned. what should i do?? im kinda freaking out.

anyways, i am so sorry if this came across trauma dumping/venting. i am just at a point where i do not even know where to begin to conceptualize this into understanding. this took a lot of courage to type, as im a bit afraid still- that people who hurt me from last year will see this (even though i know they won’t, but still). i totally understand if you wish not to post this or answer it, as it is very long and limiting. thank you though! i hope you have a wonderful week:)

this was quite difficult to answer as i've never been through so much turmoil all at once. i hope this answer helps and you'll continue taking care of yourself! (i'm sorry i linked way too much lol just don't read it all at once!)

firstly i want you to rest.

you've been through a lot and you've also been putting off a lot to get into the void. stopping life for manifestation is common it seems, its not healthy either. so much pressure is coming from time. you put all your expectations on a method, and i'm gonna guess that you also put so much onto your mind to get you into the void.

practically: your biological father sounds abusive and so does your sibling, i would be more careful around him. idk if your not around him anymore, it sounds like it? but you need to plan accordingly for your lie. are you gonna tell your parents or ?

theres a massive chance you'll just go crazy trying to figure out all these moving parts, so i suggest do what you can and leave the rest. do the minimum to keep you safe, then figure out the rest as it comes. do whatever you need to do, just remember to not take on too much at once.

ask for breaks on work at school for medical reasons, maybe think about jobs, etc. you see how much more could come into the picture? but this is all the body-mind can do. its easy to treat it as god, but its not god.

"but i feel as if i can’t see a way through"

You fail to do the works of God, because you take the body to be God. - Ada B. [4dbarbie]

take a look at these meditations:

butter meditation

peace meditation

surrender meditation

un-identification exercise

crying meditation

i'd like you pick one of these exercises:

feel all the shit. feel bad. just do it. let all the bad feelings out. put on sad music and fucking cry. cry it all out.

let yourself rest, with no problems. if a thought or feeling comes in just let it, because its not a problem remember? :) just put on some calming music or visualise a calming place. and let yourself have some time with nothing. no conditions. no perfection. no obligations. no 'have to' 'should' 'must'. let that go for this time

feel as if you've died. feel as if you've been completely forgiven, feel as if there was a powerful white light that washed you away of all the crap. really feel as if the divine came down, hugged you and said 'i love you and forgive you'. its all over. finally its all done. you can rest. (i suggest kickstarting this with imagery or music, its hard to generate feeling such grace on you own. i saw a jesus holding a baby lamb picture that made me burst out in tears and realised that all i wanted was just to be, no obligations. i imagined waking up in a heaven, in a gaint flowerfield. do what you want)

one time i did the 1st and 3rd exercises (i made it up on the spot) and it was worth it. the next few days felt much better. its like an exercise in rebirth. let yourself be reborn.

some days you'll just do one or all 3. pick what ever feels right in what ever order. but i suggest that 'feel as if you've died' or 'no problems' comes last! the whole point is to let the painful emotion pass through and settle in a neutral or grateful place.

"after discovering non-duality i gained hope that i would be able to turn things around by now"

here's the problem, you went into a philosophy intending to manifest. yes,, (1) you can do that (2) its okay, AS LONG AS YOU DONT MISS THE POINT. the point being that there is no person! the character is a character, not you. manifestation is just another concept, you can use it as long as you understand that its not real. thats why i shared the BOOKS, you need to READ.

"i try to forget my problems, and don’t give them life by letting go"

don't force yourself to forget (don't say you're not forcing it, otherwise you never would of wrote "TRY"). just let them be. deal with it when it comes up. the mind'll want to make a bazillion plans and stress. if you can make plans without spiriling, then do it. if you can't, don't. there will probably be some things you need to plan and thats okay. but everything else, leave it.

you haven't actually let it go, you're here in my inbox. you do not need to force letting it go. you naturally let it go by realising who you are in relation to it all. if you think you're the body-mind then its impossible to let go, because its your life and it involves you and if you let it go to shit, you might die!! - says the mind. but if you're Self, then this is not you. all those stories mean nothing compared to Infinity, Absolute Perfection and Love!

the Self is who you truly are. Self is still underneath it all, it is all. its imagining itself being a human. the character is the wave, YOU are the ocean. ultimately this is about realising all the identities, images and roles that "you've" taken on and used as reference are not you. how can a story be you? how can the past be you? are you the past? are you currently living in the past? you can be if you keep bringing it into the now.

when you stop using the past as a reference point, how much more posibilities come up now?

this is because the mind only knows what it knows. it cannot know anything more than what it knows right now. it can't access infinite intelligence. that's why it'll try to project into the future, and make plans. but it doesn't truly know. all it does is give suggestions based off the past. it is a combination of identity based off feelings, thoughts and memories that is collected and turned into a habit.

the past, memories, feelings, thoughts, identifies, roles etc all pass through you. they all come up like waves and then leave on THEIR OWN. if you hold onto these (which the character wants to do, it thinks thats all it is) it'll be painful when they are threatened in some way. a simple remark of "oh you look xxx" can be so painful for some characters because they based their whole life on a singular identity that WILL go.

Most of you can't change because you are so desperate TO change... but there is nothing to want to change. Things just are. Don't work with changing self, just realize who self actually is. [4dbarbie]

this is not a forcing thing, its just a rememberance. its done out of love, passion, a desire to just be free! with no ties to whatever identity! its takes courage, not convincing or denial.

Disbelieving you are Vanessa and denial are not the same thing. Denial is when you deny reality to something you're already giving reality to. Disbelieving was meant as an experiment, you never thought yourselves to be anything but this body, what will happen if you did? What are changes in your psyche, do you feel more confident, do you feel like you could take on the world? Don't you love Vanessa now that you know that she always was a choice? Even if she wasn't the greatest, what's so wrong with her? She is just somebody, she just lives a life. Things are only so serious when you're identified with her, you get scared, you get hurt, you feel stuck. But when you know that she can't hinder you? That she was never you? Don't you just want to laugh and hug her? [4dbarbie]

are you sure you're reading books and posts? a lot of this is already answered. your case is just more to deal with, but the point is still the same: you are not the body and mind, see what would happen if you questioned them.

just KEEP IT SIMPLE!

i'd like to leave you with this.

Once a young woman came to Hafiz and said, “What is the sign of someone knowing God?” And Hafiz became very quiet and stood in silence for nearly a minute. Lovingly looking deep into the young woman's eyes, he then softly spoke: “My dear, they have dropped the knife. The person who knows God has dropped the cruel knife so often used upon their tender self and others.” [source]

some extra resources

eft - health fear

eft - afraid to feel

we cannot practice letting go

heart of an emotion

i want to wake up with everything

hafiz - love's victory (PLEASE WATCH IT)

trust yourself

"You think you're doing it all for nothing, that's why you don't do it. But is freedom from pain really nothing? At least you are, for once in your life, sighing from relief from all this never-ending sense of doing."

health anon

apply

"All the process requires is letting go of thinking you are Vanessa."

behaviour

letting thoughts and emotions pass

challenge yourself

stories

everything brings you back to your Self

you've been through a lot and i'm glad you still are full of love! otherwise you never would've tried in the first place to change anything. use that love, take any anger and turn it into love for freedom! for Self! i know you can do it!!

also: the feeling of bad health coming back is a sign to me. you've put so much on hold: your healing from the sa, the healing from your family, the lying, LIFE in general. you can't keep doing that. turn inwards. the fear won't consume you.

#lainsmail

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otrtbs · 9 months ago

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hi! could you explain a little bit what you studied and if you did any apprenticeship before you got a job ? a little summary to how you got there ? i’m so curious (and i admire you a lot)

hiya!! sure!!

so back in high school i actually started volunteering at my local art museum when i was 16 (up until i graduated at 18). they had a program specifically designed for teens to volunteer at the museum (i gave guided tours, and helped plan events at the museum, and worked with kids 3-12 in a drop-in studio every saturday where they could make art of their own after looking in the gallery) <- not a lot of museums do this, but you can call and ask if they need volunteer docents for the weekends !! they’ll train you!!

then i majored in art history in undergrad (making sure to focus my courses in modern and contemporary art towards the end of my studies bc that’s what i wanted to do! also i took a LOT of french classes. as in i only needed a few credits to have a minor but the last class was so hard i dropped it) to give yourself a leg up, i recommend studying a language (italian, french, spanish, german) most jobs in ARH require at least a minimal reading knowledge of another language.

while i was in school, i got a job at my university’s art museum as a gallery assistant! (<- fancy way of saying i walked around the galleries and told people not to touch the paintings and answered their questions if they asked and made sure no one was trying to steal the art)

during the summer, i got a summer internship at an art gallery in the biggest city close to my house (bc i moved back home w my parents in the summertime. uni housing was crazy expensive) and that was the *most* instrumental. i learned how to write wall texts, how to install artworks, i made studio visits to artists, updated the gallery website, handled artist contracts, you name it! it was great experience!!

i also got involved in art history/fine arts clubs at my university! i was on the fine arts council at my uni which represented the art and art history department to the student senate and the university at large. and the art historical society.

then i got my master’s degree in history of art theory and display, joined the art historical society at that university, got a degree and entered my FLOP ERA OF THE CENTURY

and by that i mean, i was 6 months unemployed and moved back home w my parents flop era. no one would hire me ,, no one would even give me a call back to tell me they didn’t wanna hire me ,,, and then one day someone did !! rahhh!!!! and i got some of my research approved 4 publishing and now im here!!!! (i say this not to discourage you but to let you know that the job market for art history ppl is tough,, it has always been tough,, but if you love it, it’s never a waste to pursue!)

i would do a few things differently if i had a second go at it, just to get a leg up so here’s some advice that im giving but i DIDNT DO myself:

1) try to minor in something to give you a leg up! a language is good, marketing is good, public relations… something to make you stand out!

2) try to get things published as an undergrad or a grad student! get your research out there if you can (way easier said than done ik ik) have some things you can list under your publications tab on your CV

3) if you find yourself in a 6+ month jobless, flop era period like me, volunteer somewhere at a museum or gallery if you are able. i was bitter as fuck that i had a masters degree and would be working at a museum for free when i needed money so i didn’t do it ,, but when someone finally calls back and you get an interview and they ask what you’ve been up to recently ,,, telling them you spend your time volunteering in museum spaces and working in your desired environment looks so much better than saying “i’ve been job searching” i promise !! (<- also just recognizing the extreme privilege i had to just stay at home and look for jobs in my desired field instead of immediately having to get a job somewhere. but im not gonna lie to you. i put out applications at olive garden and einstein’s bagels and they both rejected me. so. i was scrambling bc my student loans were due and i had zero dollars 2 my name 🧍‍♀️)

okay i rambled on for entirely tooooooo long. but i hope this was helpful somewhat !!! 💗💗

#asks #ARH talks #ARH ramblings

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thickenmyblood · 1 year ago

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hey 💗 ik you said we will get answers on the final chapter but there’s just something i’m so confused about. it’s been so long so my memory might be fizzy but didn’t laurent literally forbid nicaise from contacting damen? in the first chapters he always seemed so displeased whenever damen and nicaise were together. so why is he blaming damen for not calling nicaise after they broke up now?

hello! i'm glad you're asking this because i did not plan on explaining it in ch20.

when laurent says that damen didn't try to contact nicaise or answer his calls he's talking about the Immediate After (the day of the break-up, the day after the break up, etc.) that's why there's so much emphasis on the goodbye aspect.

the laurent that "forbid" nicaise from contacting damen is 4 months post break-up laurent, and he's doing it bc he thinks damen will 1. leave again, as in, stop replying to nicaise's texts and calls after getting nicaise's hopes up (let's remember that this laurent hasn't talked to damen in months, has no way of knowing if damen's moved on, if damen's dating someone else, etc.) 2. hurt nicaise by making toxic comments (nails, hair, meds, etc.)

either way, this doesn't mean you have to agree with laurent's perspective. damen fights this narrative throughout the chapter: you asked me to leave, you decided to handle the break-up conversation on your own, you didn't tell me how bad things were getting, etc. it's also implied in the story that at some point during the Immediate After, laurent most likely told nicaise to stop texting damen altogether. the reason being quite obvious: “He needs to understand you’re not coming back. If you take him out for lunch and buy him gifts he’s never going to get it.” (CH1) -> laurent doesn't think damen's here for the long run, and nicaise needs the long run. it's either all or nothing, and laurent thinks damen will leave again when he's done "entertaining" nicaise.

i hope this cleared things up. thank you for your question!

#anon #hiuh

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sugarsnappeases · 9 months ago

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tag game

okay showing up so late and likely with a lot of rambling but thank you so much for the tags @fxreflyes and @static-radio-ao3 love seeing little insights into ur lives <333

fave colour: red/pink!!

last song: i've had chappell roan's album, the rise and fall of a midwest princess, on repeat all day to try and somehow magically imbue myself with the strength to write my essay (which i've done now! mostly! gonna look it over tomorrow but it's basically done!!) but the specific song that's playing as i hit post is femininomenon!! a classic and a banger

last film: i rewatched pirates of the caribbean 2 w one of my friends (who had never seen it before can you guys believe that?!?!) and it's still as brilliant as ever, four and a half stars on letterboxd (there's no rhyme or reason behind my star system on letterboxd like i do it on the vibe in the moment and am now wondering why i didn't give it five stars??)

currently reading: okay so boring answer is 'the decameron' by boccaccio, i'm studying him for the second part of this term and really shot myself in the foot bc i didn't realise how fucking long it was (nearly 700 pages) and i have NO time ever so it's gonna be a little miserable over here in roughly two weeks when my first essay on him is due.... seems interesting tho i've read like 40 pages so far.... more exciting answer is anna karenina!! started reading it in the holidays (when i should've been reading the decameron lol) and have only read like one part and a bit so far bc i never have the time for fun reading during uni :(.... gimme like three months tho and i'll get back to you guys, i really enjoyed the bits i have read and will absolutely have some marauders-related thoughts once i have the full picture (incapable of not linking all media to them)

currently watching: i just finally started watching the sex lives of college girls, which was soooooo long overdue, i've watched two eps so far and am loving it a lot, think it's gonna be slow going tho bc. busy :(... i also rewatched the first two eps of new girl a couple days ago bc sude and i were talking about it and i felt it had to be done... wanna do a full rewatch bc it's been so long but alas, again, time is of the essence, and also i'm always very slow at tv shows... anyway

currently craving: like. spare time. ig?? no more essays?? that's the main thing that i think would make my life exponentially better.... we're at 3/8 now tho so like... slowly crawling through them.... also every time i've gone to tesco recently i've been eyeing up the raspberries, just waiting for them to go on some kind of clubcard deal so i can pounce, raspberries are my fave fruit but they're always so fucking expensive the world is so cruel to me

coffee or tea: tea!!! always!!! can't stand the taste of coffee and i think that much caffeine would send me into like cardiac arrest or something. but also i'm not huuuuuge on tea either (not very british of me ik) like i only ever drink it when i'm w other people who are drinking it or when i'm writing an essay and need some willpower/energy/to procrastinate a little... like i'm not a cup of tea at all times of day kinda gal at all

not sure who's been tagged so soz if u've already done it but no pressure tags for @quillkiller @themuseoftheviolets @stillagoodwitch @inevitablestars @sixlane and whoever else wants to <33

#also the last time i did one of these there was like a current obsession section which was beautifully conducive for my rambling....#i've been thinking a lot about apollo and daphne recently if anyone was wondering what my answer for that might be.... also sybarty....#but i'm not going into depth!!! look at me curtailing rambling left right and centre i'm so strong and always know exactly when to shut up #anyway.... please everyone tell me everything about yourselves i am the nosiest person i know #tag games

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fabulousest333 · 4 months ago

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I hope this isnt trauma dumping or sm but i just needed to get this out and also get some advice and i think i really like ur advice. So i have been jn a relationship w my bf for 2 years now and i love him with my heart and soul and we plan to get married ( ee are still young but we see that as the futuregoal) so up tntil a few months back i used to just go to random s*x chat groups and something and would share my nudes nd just stuff like that and would also watch p*rn .. these are both things that me and my bf would a 100% consider cheating and if he did this to me i would kill myself out of sorrow. I absolutely hate myself and am disgusted at myself i was distracted for a little while with my exams but now they are over and now im crying all the time again just thinking about what i did to the boy i love the most. At the time i didnt think much of it and at first i would just talk w people but slowly i started sharing nudes and i did this a couple of times until i realized a few months back how wrong it is. I have no idea how i didnt realise how wrong this is?Up until this i was a really good person i dont think ive ever hurt anybody and i am very nice also but now idk i just hate myself and everything about me .Every day whenever i think aboyt this i cant help but cry and think there really isnt anything else i can do. Of course i have changed and wouldnt think of doing such a thing again but still the fact that i did it in the first place makes me want to die.

Ik its so selfish but i cant keeo thinking that he will do sm like this to me also and that ill get my karma. Does karma really even exist and how do i get myself to atop thinking this now i always suspect him of cheating and talking to other girls. Hes done sm similar to cheating to me but nothing on this level. What he did is nothing ckmpared to what i did.

And in the context of manifesting, should i manifest that none of this ever happened and for me to be a really nice person or shoukd i manifest that this completely gets erased from my memory or what?? This also messes up my manifestion so much i cant helo hut tell myself that i dont deserve good things as im a bad person . Please help. If youre not comfortable answering this then im sorry for wasting ur time

in the future as a boundary I'd prefer to only answer manifestation questions without trauma dumping, so I'll be ignoring any from now on, but it's totally okay as you didn't know ❤️

as for manifestation you can revise, or shift if you'd like! both are easy. revision is changing the past, and all you need to do is say the new story of what happened in your past and the 3d will conform.

as for shifting there's lots of methods you could use, but I'm not an expert so I'd seek advice elsewhere.

and finally telling yourself you're a bad person can't mess up your manifestations, nothing can if you say so. I'd work on your self concept outside of manifestation just to help you feel better about yourself, mistakes are a normal human experience.

personally I don't believe in karma, I'm sure you won't be affected. you can use protection subliminals or spells if it's giving you stress.

good luck!

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dilatorywriting · 2 years ago

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hello ~ hello ~

Hope you're feeling better! I, personally, have been a bit dead to the world since late April. This past May was kinda odd, honestly. I think everyone I know and know of just. died for the month. Collectively. At once.

I actually wanted to slide in here and pick your brain about your ongoing Monster Mayhem stuff, if you're up for it? Just like a general status overview question, since I feel kinda out of the loop 😭 And also because I know that I tend to like talking about my feelings on my current wips, so I figured maybe you might too? If not, dw!

I'll put these in bullet points since it's kinda easier for me to organize my thoughts that way

Jack: I remember you saying awhile back that you expect Part 2 to be the final part. Is that still holding up, or does it feel like it'll be longer?

Rook: From the pacing, I'm getting the vibe that this one might be another 4 part story? mayhaps? Or maybe Rook isn't like the other girls TM and gets something different.

Vil: I haven't read this one yet, but I'm excited to sit down with it soon! What's the overall length/number of parts you're planning for at the moment?

I'm pretty sure this was asked at some point before, but what's your stance on epilogues? There has been... discussion. about a Leona epilogue before, I recall, but are you considering epilogues for all of them, or only specific characters?

What's like. your vibe, rn? With each of the stories? Like in terms of "I'm really feeling this, so I'm working on it and it might be posted in the nearish future, assuming no disasters" to like "I plan to continue this, but not rn. I've got a different worm chewing on the brain lettuce atm". Ik you literally just answered an ask similar to this, and said Leona part 4 & Vil part 2 are the one's you're focused on, so I guess this is more so geared towards the Jack and Rook ones? Or other stuff you're secretly planning. I have a vague memory of a "forgot your birthday" scenario that was on a poll a few months back

I'm honestly just curious, really. Back from the dead and wanted to catch up

Also I. have a third Monster Mayhem Azul brainrot. It's not a fluffy one. If I can wrangle it into something more coherent, I may send it your way. Not dissimilar to the fashion of throwing a pebble at someone's window to get their attention, but accidentally putting a hole through the glass, and taking off running.

-Reaper

I'm gonna put this all under a little cut thing just because I feel like there's quite a lot! So here we go~

Jack -- It would still only be two parts I think! I only had short plans for that going forward, and it's currently at the bottom of my bucket list so to speak, not for any big reason just because Jack isn't one of my favorites so he falls behind on what I actually want to write.

Rook -- Was a bit more up in the air in terms of what I wanted to do. Had started writing a third part for it, but Rook's in particular felt very like, episodic? If that makes sense? Rather than an overarching cohesive arc. So I could write so much more little random side stories! But aside from a bit I had sort of planned regarding Riddle, there wasn't too much specific I had in mind.

Vil -- Probably one or two more parts to wrap up what I wanted with him; most likely one of the same length as the first. But that one of all of them may get a separate little piece because I am such a sucker for mermaids/sirens soooo that may get some special love

Epilogues -- bit of a mish mash. Really depends how I'm feeling tbh. If I want to write something, I'll word vomit like no one's business, but if I'm not overly invested then I probably won't bother writing one. But again

Vibe Check -- I’m absolutely wiped. Not with these stories, because I do genuinely love them. But like, back to back tough placements on top of illness is a trip. So I’m a bit more tired and less motivated than I normally am, just because most of my brain is chewing on actual school work and case reports and trying to not make myself look like an idiot every time I’m asked for a diagnosis list and go ��uuuuhhhhhhhh.” But! I have some brain worms. Right now — big thing I’m working on is the second half of a very long commission. Which is loads of fun but also there’s so much to chew over there, so that takes a lot of my brain. On the side, I was really also writing my Vil Siren Part 2. Because that’s also a lot on the brain and it’s very different Vibe to the commission, so like it’s a good one to go back and forth between depending on what mood I’m in. Jamil is also very On My Brain right now oddly enough. I think because I read a short little Naga piece a while ago and it reminded me how much I love them. So that's on my brain a lot. As for the others, Jack has sorta fallen to the wayside admittedly. Mostly because I adore him as a Bro, but he’d just not usually a character my brain swoons over, so he’s sort of just… existing. I also wasn’t entirely sure where I wanted to go with that other than just “oh wow we fixed it together!” And that’s a factor too. As for other things, the birthday one comes back and forth depending on my mood, but idk if that’ll ever go up. I have lots of it written, but not enough to post or really toss together straight away. If that makes sense

#Asks

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forest-hashira · 9 months ago

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omg fallon!! i’m so dumb i mean to respond to ur reply but i would love some podcasts recs!! i like listening to scary stories ones (like personal anecdotes / folklore etc) and true crime ! or any just good nonfiction ones! i will say i can’t really get into the ones that are fictional >< ik a lot of people recommend some of the fictional horror ones, which is what i always stumble upon when looking for ghost stories… and then i get bummed they’re not real HHAHA. but if you have any suggestions i’m always open :)

AHAHA no it's ok!!! also i do want to say i saw this like right after you sent it but if this answer isn't up right away it's bc i went overboard with the recs whoops. but i have a friend from college who used to refer to me as "the podcast queen" and also i'm never chill about anything ever so. prepare yourself.

i'm gonna separate these into true crime & not, just for your ease of picking something! i'm also including the app(s) i use to listen to them. these are in no particular order btw

True Crime

Serial - this is probably one that you've heard of/had recommended to you before, but if so there's good reason. i've listened to season one, about adnan sayed, at least a dozen times. i skipped season 2 (about bowe bergdahl), and season 3 (about the justice system of a city in ohio, i believe it's cincinnati?) was lower stakes but still interesting. season 4, about guantanamo bay, is also really good so far. on spotify.

Cold - three seasons, each about a different case of different utah women who went missing and whose body has never been found. i've listened to season 1, about susan powell, probably 6-7 times. i never finished season two, about joyce yost, but as i'm typing this i'm listening to the season 3 finale, about sheree warren. seasons 2 & 3 include descriptions of sexual assaults in varying levels of detail, but the whole show is worth a listen. i love the journalist who narrates it. on amazon music & spotify (s1 & 3)

Beyond All Repair - about sophia johnson, who was accused & convicted of murdering her mother in law when she was 6 months pregnant, pretty much solely on the word of her brother. i won't say anything else so i don't spoil it, but it's a case i never would have heard of without this podcast. on spotify.

Dr. Death - about a spinal surgeon that really should not have been allowed to operate on people. i haven't listened to season two (about a different doctor), but season one is NUTS. another one i've listened to multiple times. on spotify.

Your Own Backyard - about the disappearance of Kristin Smart. the host was born & raised in the same area Kristin was from, and it bothered him that her disappearance was never solved. the show brought the case back into the spotlight and helped get convictions. on spotify.

The Clearing - about a woman who realized later in life that her father was a serial killer while she was a child. another one that's absolutely bonkers and i have listened to multiple times. on spotify.

The Shrink Next Door - same production company as dr. death, about a psychiatrist that completely took over a patient's life & finances, told by the patient after he got out of the situation. you can listen to episode 1 on spotify, but the rest has unfortunately been put behind a paywall 😭

Heaven's Gate - about a cult that committed the largest mass suicide in north america at the time (i believe it was pre-jonestown). on spotify.

Supernatural/Etc.

S-Town - same production company as serial, but only one season. about a small town in alabama and one man who lives there. sort of true crime, kind of not. on spotify.

Let's Get Haunted - they cover true crime occasionally, but mostly do conspiracy theories or stories about ghosts/cryptids/folklore. the hosts are hilarious. this is the podcast that helps me sleep at night and that literally got me through my last two years of uni. there's like. almost 200 episodes so if you want a few specific episode recs lmk i will dm them to you!!! on spotify.

Myths & Legends - the title is pretty self explanatory, but the whole show is about myths, legends, folklore, and fairytales from around the world. it's like if a friend read the story and then recounted it to you in detail, i love it, but i am Very behind. on spotify.

Lore - about various ghost stories & the history behind them, mostly in the usa but from other places too (mostly like. canada & europe from what i remember). i am also years behind on this one but i remember really enjoying it. on spotify.

National Park After Dark - about true crime cases/disasters/supernatural stories in national parks from across the globe. i've only listened to a handful of episodes but it's pretty good! on amazon music & spotify.

ok beyond that what i listen to is either fictional or it's not worth a recommendation AHAHA. sorry if this was overwhelming but i cannot sit in silence and you asked for recs!!! thank u for giving me an excuse to talk about this 💜💜💜

#asks answered #podcasts #podcast recs #fallon's friends #regal rylie #like i said i have no chill!!! anyways if u listen to any of these lmk i'm curious what you think

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dolledupwh0re · 2 years ago

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introduction ! ༊*·˚

hii ! my name is coralynn, im a 19 y/o filipina using she/her pronouns !

ive been on the "kinky" side of tumblr lurking in the shadows for a few months now but i've finally decided to start posting.

dolledupsl5t was my original acc but i forgot my password lol

my blog is open to most people EXCEPT minors (obviously), transphobic people, homophobic people, racists, and really anybody trying to harass me. as long as you're not any of the above, any gender, sexuality,race, any identity people are always welcome and you will be welcomed with love and support !

my kinks are as follows but not limited to : bdsm, praise, degrading/humiliation, cnc, overstim, edging, org denial, masochism, sadism, somno, dd/lg, knifeplay, weapon play, intox, kidnapping, stalking, spanking, choking, spit, blood, brat, bimbofication, petplay

kinks i dislike : scat, piss, beastiality, tentacles, feet

other things about me:

🫧 i speak english and tagalog, ( i also understand ilocano, a dialect from ilocos in the philippines but sadly i dont speak it) as well as very basic french and spanish

🫧 i dance, act, sing, play clarinet ukulele and piano (im veeeeeery good with my mouth and hands/fingers ;3 ) , draw/paint, LOVE reading, love watching horror movies, love building legos, and a bunch of other crap lol

🫧 im bisexual and enfj-t <3

🫧 i will not be showing photos of my face or most of my body nor disclose anything too personal about myself, sorry not sorry

🫧 i suffer from mommy/daddy issues, depression, anxiety, anger issues, eating disorders (bulimia/anorexia), n suicidal thoughts so if u ever js wanna vent, my messages/asks are open! yes, im mental, ik. and yes, all stated above are diagnosed by doctors, not self-diagnosed

🫧 i run on a really 50/50-ish ratio of being horny and normal so i won't always just be posting horny crap 24/7

🫧 obviously, i have a life out of tumblr so i also won't post 24/7 but i will probably be active at some point at least 2 days every week

feel free to message me or send me asks! if anything is too personal or uncomfy for me i'll just tell you politely that i'd rather not talk about it or answer it but if such topic or questions continue i'll just end up ignoring them or blocking said users.

that's pretty much all for now !

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weirdfishy · 1 year ago

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20 Qs for Fic Writers

thanks to @mashumaru for tagging me!! <3 i love these, and i've finally got a minute to do it!

1. How many works do you have on Ao3?

45! i started writing in the end of 2020, it's kina mind boggling to think that it'll have been three years in a couple months

2. What's your total Ao3 word count?

76,628 :)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I've currently written for Batman, Danny Phantom, BBC's Merlin & Sherlock, Spider-Man/Verse, The Sandman, Criminal Minds, Harry Potter, Heartstopper, Sk8 the Infinity, The Witcher, and BNHA.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Unknown Caller ID - danny phantom x batman, crack treated seriously, something i will eventually continue

Tim Drake's intoduction to ✨Ghosts✨ - dpxdc, silly goofy stuff

by a sleep to say we end the heart-ache - the sandman, dreamling get-together, my first multi-chap that i finished

just slip me on, i'll be your blanket - the sandman, dreamling angst, something that i've so far put a completed, but in my heart of hearts ik it needs more

crack, hob flirts back, heart attack - the sandman, crack, past hobrinthian, pre-dreamling, pov corinthian

5. Do you respond to comments?

i very much try to, yes, but i also tend to leave comments un responded to for fics i have yet to continue/finish

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

what's interesting abt the two fics i think have the angstiest endings, is they kina have the same tone? like, i wrote two fics abt two different characters having a 'life is absolutely terrible rn, i'm grieving the loss of better times, but no matter what i will keep fucking living god damn it'

anyway it's both to be forgotten but not forget (mcu peter parker) and never to sleep, never to die (hob gadling)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

[love how i totally forgot to answer this at first; sorry if tumblr tags u again for my editing]

imma go with something recent, a geraskier blurb based on art, :3 (that's the title, i couldn't come up with anything clever, so it's just that lol)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

not directly

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

currently? no. have i? yeah. respect your local smut writers

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

i never wrote crossovers prior to getting pulled into danny phantom x dc, and both of my posted ones are among my most popular

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i know of (if someone does steal a fic- that's shitty.)

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

not in the sense that someone has asked me to translate and repost, so as far as i know, no

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

no, but snake n i have talked about co-writing before (we're busy as shit tho so it's yet to happen)

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

merwaine in any form

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

it's not a WIP, but the second fic i ever posted i said i would rewrite and it's yet to come- i don't doubt that i will rewrite it, but that eventually is pretty far

16. What are your writing strengths?

prose-y scene setting maybe? i don't think about this, really, i just write

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

dialogue, in the sense that it doesn't much feature in my fics

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

personally i'll only do it if i'm 200% confident in its meaning (ie i've studied the language or i've got a second reliable opinion)

19. First fandom you wrote for?

i've since lost it, but the first thing i wrote was for BTS (2018 almost-disbandment rlly had me emotional, ok?)

20. Favourite fic you've written?

i don't have a favorite, and i'm proud of every new thing bc it's a show of my progress

no pressure tags: @oliveofvanders @bootleg-exe & anyone else who would like to :)

#tagg@me #fanfiction #fishy's fics

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danyippee · 10 months ago

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wassap guys we r BACK with another yt video!!! MAKE SURE TO LIKE, SUBSCRIBE AND SMASHHHH THAT LIKE BUTTON SO WE CAN REACH A BAJILLION SUBSCRIBERS BEFORE THE END OF THE YEAR LETS GO GUYS AND DONT FORGET THE BELL FOR NOTIFICATIONS🔥🔥🔥🔥

it has been a while gang, We're back w some updates, alot of things have happened and I gotta record my life in some way so i can look at it and tell myself how stupid I was at 16 years old.

I started listening to a bunch of e-punk/incelcore so like Gezebelle Gaburgably, Negative Xp, especially Fried By Fluoride & Npobu. I love their albums and I be fw them HEAVY but at the same time got back into some old bands like old gray or I Hate Sex and Modern Baseball (modern baseball if you can hear me, pls save us <3)

School has been getting somewhat better, I developed a crush on this girl from a school field trip (Like I even felt the moment it happened it was crazy or maybe I was jst trippin) and It's awesome cuz I've gotten to learn her interests and I love her passion when it comes to novels or manhwas and the characters. I even read Tomb Raider King and ngl it was pretty awesome (it was WORTH the 411 chapters RAHHH) but over time I think I'm just starting to assimilate that nothing aint happening and it's okay, as long as we are super cool frends :D CONTINUING ON WITH SCHOOL, I'm also thinking of applying to this thing called Leadership (it's like a class/club at school where u can join to help with events) but at the same time I wanna rot at home to read fics and write about pekomama and other characters I fixated on. Finally, finals for school are coming till summer break (I CANT WAIT TO STAY AT HOME ALL DAY.....if it weren't for the divorce my parents got when I was 8 months old) but Imma have a AP euro exam where I gyat to do: multiple choice questions, 2 shorts answers, DBQ and LEQ (basically writing 3+ paragraphs w/ documents for the DBQ and using ur knowledge to answer a prompt for the LEQ). Istg imma try my best but ik that imma fail so bad.

Back at home, things are still the same, I get home> do hw> listen to music and play games> eat> sleep> school> full cycle... Once in a while I go out on my longboard w my brother to collect songs on soundmap (pokemon but w music :3) It's a good things to chance pace of rhythm overall.

That's abt it guys :3c I'll see u guys next month, take care <3

#what ive been up to #Spotify

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gatual · 1 year ago

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small talk in general is a torture 🤦‍♀️ omg have you been to a gym before? let me know how it goes, it’s so exciting! ᕙ(`▽´)ᕗ how long is your winter break? listen the whole purpose of breaks is for you to relax so you’re doing a great job 🫡 i also have a vacation in 2 weeks which i’m gonna spend helping my parents with the crops. until then my weekends are mostly free so i’ll download conjuring and if you feel like watching together hmu!!! (灬♥ω♥灬) omg the first saw is less gory so i think you should give it a shot! for me hmm i decided to give guitar lessons another try so we’ll see how it goes 🥲 omg weather sounds like HELL, what temp do you usually get in winter? southern hemisphere is a mystery to me djdjdjdj also so lovely that you get to hang out with your friend, i hope you have a great time! ♡✧˖°.

small talk is terrible and i am terrible at it but I've read this thing that says like, frequent small talk helps build sth more than small talk and that's how you usually start relationships yadayada reason why I prob have no friends 🤣it makes some sense it's hard to put to practice,,, also yea! I used to love going to the gym bw my 17-21 I went everyday 😳was really into lifting; then it stopped feeling good but now it's feeling good again 😄 tomorrow I'll finally start w friend hehe also winter break lasts a month! I did nothing it was great☺️took way to long to answer this but are you still with your parents or not anymore?😟 helping w the crops sounds fun tho🫶 also ik u watched the conjuring and my breaks is over but we could still arrange to watch a movie 🥺 a saw one perhaps:D I've been meaning to ask u for ur timezone but I think I never did also YES GUITAR LESSONS SOUND GREAT how is it going :DD mmm winter here tends to be like 0° as the lowest (we rarely have -2° -3° even 0° is rare) and highest honestly,,,, to give u an example tomorrow it'll be 32° 💀 this winter hasn't been a winter at all usually the max is like 22 24°c but we've had 30°s frequently this year which is insane 💀💀💀

#also the climate rant was just refering to my province but if u go to the south or the north temperature changes drastically #ANYWAY #i feel like a 60 yo man i complain so much abt weather lately #hope youve been well <3 sorry for taking so long :< kith #ask #tashaෆ⁠╹⁠ ⁠.̮⁠ ⁠╹⁠ෆ

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chilumi-shipper · 3 years ago

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Gosh im so fuckimg nervous this is my first time doing this EVER. Im not even sure if you're accepting reqs rn but I'll risk it. Also im in love with the pAIN. It hurts so good. I keep re reading every angst/fluff u write cuz ik they're all worth it OMIGAD oki,

may i req any angst to fluff with my bby man arataki itto?ㅠㅠ I keep looking for any but to no avail then came across your acc, (been rereading ur works for months i feel like a creep holy shiieet) like idk how u do it because I dont have a specific imagine in my mind OMG TF I talk too much okay I'll go

also ily HEHEH ♡╮ ( ´ ▽ ` ) ╭♡

My Favorite Girl

Arataki Itto x Shrine Maiden!Fem!Reader

Summary: You were definitely an odd couple, but it just worked out. Despite his somewhat idiotic attitude and the fact that he doesn't have a stable income, you loved him with all your heart. Although, you can never tell if he feels the same way about you, he definitely loves you, but... will you ever mean more to him than his gang? Will he ever gleefully talk about you like he talks about his deputy? Will he ever fondly think that you are just so amazing, like how he thinks of Kuki Shinobu?

Part 2

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Despite the Arataki Gang's infamous title of being a pretty rowdy and a troublemaking group of idiots, you were quite fond of them, they're a funny group, never failing to make you laugh, they stick by each other, you have to admire that loyalty, and they make your one and oni the person that he is. You have to appreciate that.

No matter the overwhelming differences between you and Itto, it seems that fate has brought the both of you together, it really shocked many of your fellow Shrine Maidens.

You were given the title of "The Arataki Gang's Honorary Maiden", you treasured that title just as much as you did your official title at the Grand Narukami Shrine. Whenever you could, you'd do some ordinary things for the Gang, just like a normal member would, send out flyers for whatever goofy festival or play or event they may be planning on doing, providing them with food and a shelter if they ever get themselves up to some trouble again, which they frequently do, you're the one that Ushi goes to for comfort when he sometimes gets fed up by all the stupidity around him, you're even the person to find if anyone of them manage to find themselves in a cell.

"Y/N!" You hear Itto's energetic voice call for you, though it wasn't only you he managed to get the attention of. As always, he manages to get everyone's attention at the shrine whenever he visits.

As the gang approaches you, all smiles like the usual, (except when their smiles linger with the look of guilt when they need to tell you that they messed something up) you see a familiar girl with green hair walk with them.

"Check it out! An official new member of the Arataki Gang." The way Itto spoke makes it obvious that he's so proud, you understood of course, nobody really wanted to join them before because of their neverending... conflicts.

Their happy expressions were contagious, you also couldn't help but smile. "Oh, I feel like I've seen you from somewhere." You directed your words to the masked girl. She seems to turn flustered scratching the back of her head.

"Yeahhhhh... I was here the other day... with my mother..." When the girl answered, it finally clicked, the other day, a woman and her daughter were arguing there at the shrine, the mother talking about her daughter being a shrine maiden, with a stable income and a good future and all that, whilst the daughter was arguing that the job just wasn't for her.

"Ohh, yeah, I remember now!" You smiled sweetly at the girl, unknowing of the blush that she hid behind her mask when you showed such warmth towards her. "I guess you found your real passion now."

Itto crossed his arms proudly. "That's right! This is Kuki Shinobu! Our new member, just thought I should introduce you two to each other, but now that seems unnecessary." Itto looked at the green haired girl.

"Heh, good thing Shinobu didn't choose to be a boring old Shrine Maiden." Mamoru, one of the members of the gang, stated, instantly getting elbowed by Genta.

"You idiot! Do you know where we are?!"

You took no offense, even laughing at their poor attempt of covering what he said.

"Oh, no offense, Y/N." Mamoru said sheepishly, "We like you! You aren't one of those stick in the mud Shrine Maidens!" Another elbow from Genta stopped him from speaking, as you pretend to be oblivious of the dirty glares they were getting from your co-workers.

"Well, we should definitely be going now!" Itto leaned down a bit, stealing a kiss on your lips as a goodbye. "I'll see you back home." His words were gentler when his forehead is pressed against yours.

"Try not to get arrested again." You whispered back, just as gentle despite the meaning of your words. "Or else I might how to cuddle with Ushi again tonight."

"Not gonna happen." Another kiss and he was off with his gang.

...

After that... it was like you've been replaced.

Ever so slowly did it show that you were no longer needed in the group. Kuki Shinobu was one amazing addition, so much so that she became a Deputy Leader a week after her arrival.

It seems like you're gently being pushed away, it felt like now that you have a replacement, they don't want you anymore.

You no longer received news about the group, it's like you're not gonna be invited to any more card games and beetle fights and 'festivals'.

At first you understood, you were kinda always busy, you aren't always gonna be there, so it's great that the idiots have someone to have their backs and get them out of trouble when you're not around.

"Where are you going?" You were standing behind Itto, as he was about to leave through the front door. He never mentioned any affairs he had to go to that night.

Itto looked back at you and smiled sheepishly, scratching the back of his head and said, "I've got some things planned with the gang. Is it okay if I come home late?"

You gulped, looking down a bit. "Y-Yeah, okay, sure." His smile turned bigger, going up to you and giving you a kiss on the cheek.

"Great! Thanks!" He left eagerly, whilst you sighed and tried to endure a wave of disappointment.

You walked to the kitchen, "He forgot..." You felt a tear run down your cheek, your hand quick to wipe it away as you take the pot of Itto's favorite off the stove and transferring a portion for yourself on a plate, the rest you just plan to give away to the nice seniors living next door.

Maybe it was just you that felt off with the changes, feeling bad that you don't get to spend as much time with your beloved as much as you would want to. But then again, that could just be you being overly attached.

Maybe it was just your own insecurities speaking when you see that Itto holds so much adoration for Shinobu, adoration that he has never showed to anyone before.

Maybe it was just your own jealous thoughts taking over when Itto keeps bailing on you and your plans in favor of going with his gang.

And from feeling like you're no longer a part of the Arataki Gang, it went to feeling like you were no longer an important part of Itto's life.

"Shinobu's basically the best gal there is!" He thinks so highly of her, you can't help but let jealousy cloud your mind. You were at the same restaurant they happen to walk into just now.

You knew it was wrong, but you listen in on the group's conversation, "She just got her school certificate from that big shot school in Liyue! We gotta celebrate!" You thought that eating at the restaurant might give you some time to think and feel relaxed, but it would seem like there was just a constant feeling eating at your skin everytime you think about the ever closing relationship between Itto and Shinobu.

"Hey, how about Tuesday next week, boss? I hear that there's gonna be this massive star shower that night."

"It's called a meteor shower, you idiot!"

"Yeah, yeah, that's pretty cool! Remember that nice spot we set up our Drumalong Festival? Let's celebrate there again. I bet we get a clear shot of the beautiful sky there!" Itto suggested as you feel your heart sink a bit.

"It's not like I have anything planned, we can get started getting the things we need to celebrate now." Tears started to burn your eyes, you couldn't help but just look down at your food, feeling devastated about what you heard.

Next Tuesday is your birthday.

You thought that maybe it would be nice to go on a night picnic with him and watch the nice show in the sky, you aren't much for big celebrations with tons of people, heck, you'd rather have Itto bring his gang along, they always makes things fun and entertaining.

You had it all planned out in your head too, you thought that it would make up for all the time that you lost when he would bail on you. You already asked him to join you a few days ago, it seems that he forgot that he agreed.

But at least now, you're absolutely sure of what you are to Itto now.

...You had your great times with him.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

"You're leaving?" Itto sounded like a kicked puppy, looking at your back as you pack a portion of your clothes into a bag.

You didn't bother looking at him, continuing to pack as you answered, "Y-Yeah, I have to go to Watatsumi Island for work stuff." You noticed that your voice started trembling, so you kept your answer short.

Itto looked over your shoulder, seeing a big pile of items in your bag. "That's a lot of stuff. Are you staying there for like... a week or something?" He chuckled, though it sounded as if it was in uncertainty, he really hopes you're not gonna be gone that long.

You sniff, you feel that your eyes are a bit sore from crying yourself to sleep the past few days. You felt fatigue, hopelessness, heartbreak, all that just in the span of a few days.

"A month, actually?"

The Oni almost couldn't believe his ears. "W-What? That's so long." He tried laughing a bit to ease a bit of the shock he felt, yet his laugh only came out awkward and confused.

"It's not like you'll notice I'm gone." It was what you wanted to say, however you kept it in.

"A-Alright, when will you be leaving? I can help you haul you stuff to the boat." You zipped up your bag before finally looking back at him.

His eyes narrowed as he looked at your face, it's not the first time these past few days that he didn't notice the tired look in your eyes.

You took something out from your pocket, taking out a purple envelope, you brought Itto's attention to the object.

Today is your birthday the festival in Kuki Shinobu's honor. And today is also the day that special meteor shower will be happening.

He still hasn't realized.

"Hey, isn't that the envelope for our festival. We'll go there together tonight, right?" He smiled sweetly at you, you were gonna miss that pure smile of his.

"Actually..." You sighed, handing him the invitation. "I'm l-leaving tonight, so you don't have to come see me off at the docks." You felt your heart ache as you see his face visible fall.

"O-Ohh..." It was a rare sight, Itto was at a lost for words, and despite your frustrations, your annoyance of being pushed away and being forgotten, you stepped closer to him before leaning down and kissing his forehead. "That soon, huh?"

"...Yeah." You shoved all the negative emotions down, hoping that your long trip to Watatsumi will clear your mind and void you of all the bad feelings you've been getting.

Itto's big arms wrapped around your form, he was sat on the bed as you were standing up, he rested his head on your stomach, feeling his disappointment grow by the second.

And he doesn't know why, but... there's been a part of his subconscious eating away at him all day, like... he's missing something important.

You pull away from the embrace much to your lover's dismay. You caress his face, smiling as he leaned in to your touch. This was actually one of the few moments that you get to spend time with him that isn't just you two getting ready for bed and sleeping.

"This is possibly one of the last moments I'll have with you."

You try not to let your tears spill out, you think that when you leave, he'll finally realize that... he doesn't need you...

A litte Shrine Maiden, boring and dull, in contrast with his exciting and kind of stupid way of living. You start looking back at what people have said about you relationship.

It's just a fever dream, it won't last.

He'll probably get tired of her soon enough.

She's just getting herself into more trouble being with an Oni. Especially that idiotic one.

You've never cared for what people have said about you, but they seem to be proving true right now.

You look into his eyes, smiling before leaning down for a kiss.

"One last kiss... Before I let you go..."

The man before you felt a strange feeling as you kissed him, the kiss was so passionate, yet it seemed full of sadness.

He shook off the weird feeling.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Itto sits at the docks of Ritou, waiting for a boat that would have the love of his life on it. There was a neatly wrapped present beside him, inside contained a beautiful jade necklace he bought with a portion of his saved up mora, along with a letter he poured all his feelings for you onto.

It has been 1 month 2 weeks and 3 days...

You were just a little bit behind on the schedule, he convinced himself. At some point, you'll be waving your hand, greeting him before you even come to the docks. He'll be coming to the docks everyday with the present until the day comes.

He's got a whole apology speech as well! If you got mad at him and chose to take the job at Watatsumi because he forgot your birthday, he has been practicing the words he wants to say to you.

He really misses you.

On your birthday, the meteor shower could apparently be seen from all over Inazuma, so chances are, you probably saw the glimmering stars as well. He just wished that he could have been with you.

Itto has been beating himself up for forgetting about your day ever since you left. He's been going to the Grand Narukami Shrine and have asked your co-workers almost single day about when you will come back and if there's any way you can come back early, they never give a preferable answer.

He understood the tired look you had now, the sadness in your eyes when he would come home late. You probably felt so alone when he's been going out so much, barely ever checking up on you, only ever being in the house to sleep and then leave immediately.

Itto held on to the precious moment you shared before you left, as he selfishly chose to go to the festival instead of bidding you goodbye, the last time he saw you was in your shared house. The sweet kiss you shared lingered in his mind, he clung onto that memory in hopes that you're not too mad at him to just up and leave and never come back.

"Woah... Didn't see you there, Beefcake." Despite trying to put some enthusiasm in his voice, the sadness the Oni felt was to obvious to mask.

Ushi slid by his side, looking at the see that his owner was previously staring at. Itto chuckled at the bull's action. "Yeah, I miss her too." He couldn't help but sigh.

The little animal reached for it's side, and it caught Itto by surprise when Ushi pulled out a single rose, before looking back to the horizon again.

"Hah, well, it looks like my competition for my Y/N's love is back huh?" He smiled. "Have you got a speech of your own ready?"

Ushi looked at his owner unimpressed, nodding before laying the rose on top of Itto's present.

Behind them, Kuki Shinobu was standing, feeling ever so empathetic for the two souls that seem to have lost their light.

The gang has been like her family, including you, even if you weren't around as often as the other members, you were the one that always made her comfortable, you were witty but also a fun person to be around with. If it weren't for you telling her that her path should be hers to choose on the day her mother forced her to go to the Grand Narukami Shrine, she would have never ended up with such amazing people.

She looked behind her, where Akira, Genta, Mamoru stood.

"Looks like we're going to Watatsumi Island."

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

There'll be a part 2, just don't know when ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I wrote this in very small increments over the course of two weeks, and the last part I literally wrote when I'm laying in bed at 3 am with 10% battery.

Anon, I hope you like it. I'm sorry if it's not Angst to Fluff yet like you asked, but it's kinda ling and I'm a bit tired. Still, thanks so much fir the request, I actually quite enjoyed thinking about this and writing this.

#genshin impact x reader #genshin impact imagines #genshin impact angst #genshin impact #genshin angst #genshin impact itto #arataki itto #itto angst #itto x reader

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theia-eos · 3 years ago

Text

But actually, how large is Tellius?

Figuring out the distances in fantasy worlds is something I dabble with on occasion, and since I’m writing a lot more for the Tellius games that I originally intended to, figuring out the distances was required to figure out how long certain missions took so I could figure out times and such.

For this purpose, I obtained an HD capture of the map presented in Chapter 10, Prisoner Rescue, when they’re tracing the path the group will have to take from Gallia to Begnion. The below map is the clean version without the path or country names, and just the countries the mercenaries travel through highlighted. More maps, information and spoilers will be after the cut.

It’s very long and barely edited. You have been forewarned.

Figuring out the distance will require us to find a scenario that fits all of the below requirements:

We know exactly where on the map they were traveling

We know exactly where on the map they were coming from

We know exactly how long it took them to travel the distance

If it is a long path, we know exactly the route they took

We often know when and where the mercenaries are going on their travels. Chapter 10 looked to be promising because they give us this, with their route drawn out already, but we never learn how long it took to cross that distance, and even assuming the castle they pass in the northwest of Crimea is the place where Chapter 10, Prisoner Release, takes place we have no idea how long it takes them to get from the castle to the port. Bummer.

Traveling time is rarely mentioned in the games, but Path of Radiance is going to be my best shot because in Chapter 23, The Great Bridge, Ike says that when they left Crimea it was the beginning of spring, and Elincia says it’s been about a year since they departed. Time is never brought up so much in Radiant Dawn.

“Big? Hmm... Yeah, I guess you're right. When we left Crimea, it was spring... The snows were melting, the days were getting longer, and the weather was mild.”

“It's been almost a year since we departed. Only a year, but the distance we've traveled to get here has been long and hard.”

So we know, at least, so far that it takes them about one year to get from Port Toha to Riven/Oribes Bridge (Please do not ask why the same bridge has two different names in Path of Radiance and Radiant Dawn. I understand it was probably a translation error they were correcting, but sometimes they double down on their changes, and other times they backtrack. It’s very confusing. Thank you.)

That is useful to know, we’ll set that information to simmer on the back burner for now, because it’s not going to help us get a size of the continent.

Obviously, in Chapter 12, A Strange Land, we get how long they’ll be traveling by boat.

“Having narrowly escaped Daein's grasp the Greil Mercenaries are pleased to feel the ocean beneath their feet as they set sail. According to Captain Nasir, the voyage to Begnion will take roughly two months.”

But boat speed is not walking speed. amielleon, whose translations I rely on a lot, also listed their issues with nailing down the size of Tellius by boat speed, so I am not touching the boat speed to try and determine the size of Tellius. amielleon eventually solved for the answer by assuming the final chapters of Part 2 of Radiant Dawn occur within a few days of one another. I could have just accepted their answer, but I am nothing if not extra so here I am, doing my own homework, putting my AP Calculus lessons to good use, finally. Good math should arrive at the same solution, anyway, so amielleon’s work can be another check for my own.

In chapter 9, Gallia, Lethe says that the distance they need to cross could be crossed by a laguz in 3 days. The localized script altered it slightly.

Original localization: “Beorc are such a weak species. A distance like this is nothing. Any laguz worth his claws could cross it in a single bound.”

Original Japanese: …ベオクというのは軟弱な生き物だ。この程度の距離、我らだけなら３日もあれば十分だというのに。(Roughly, per Google Translate: Beorc are weak creatures. At this distance, three days would be enough for us alone.)

I am too dyslexic to learn kanji, so reading Japanese is beyond me. Thus, I must rely on Google to translate Japanese scripts for me. If you can read Japanese and want to provide a better translation, please feel free.

So now we know the traveling speed of laguz is fast enough to cross the distance between Gebal Castle and Zarzi, the capital of Gallia, within three days. Do they go through the mountains, or around? Since I cannot answer this question, I must move on. There must be something.

The most concrete information that I get to determine distance comes from, naturally enough everyone’s favorite pompous ass that manages all of the details, Soren. In Chapter 5, Roadside Battle, Soren states that it took him 3 days to get from Melior to the Mercenary Fort.

“Everything started three days ago. I needed to do some research, so I went to the archives of Melior's royal library.”

In this scene, he points out on the map both where the mercenary fort is, where Melior is, and how long it took him to run from Melior to the mercenary fort (More or less 3 days).

Soren was traveling on his own to get out to the mercenary fort as fast as he could, and as Greil says, because of his efforts, the Greil Mercenaries are likely the first to hear about the war as far from the capital as they were. This is absolutely perfect. To determine the distance Soren ran, we’ll need to determine his speed first.

In medieval times, the average person could walk 10-20 miles (16.1-32.2 km) in a day, or more as needed, at a speed of about 3 miles per hour (4.8 km/h) for however many hours they travel a day.

Even back in medieval days, pilgrims would routinely travel 10 to 20 miles in a given day. If there was a pressing need, they could go even further, if there was a well maintained road to travel on.

Given the need and that Soren is used to walking as a primary means of transportation, I’ll say Soren was probably going about 20-25 miles (32.2-40.2 km) in a day to get back to the fort as quickly as he could. We also know the attack occurred that first day, but we don’t know when Soren was able to escape Melior. We know he says he saw the response from King Ramon, but he doesn’t know how the fight ended, so he likely left as quickly as he could. I’ll say he probably left in the middle of the day and covered about 10-15 miles (16.1-24.1 km) the first day, 20-25 miles (32.2-40.2 km) the second day, and arrived at the mercenary fort on the third day, after traveling another 10-15 (16.1-24.1 km) miles.

Low end of the spectrum, the mercenary fort is 40 miles (60.4 km) from Melior. High end of the spectrum is 55 miles (88.5 km). If we were to assume he moved 25 miles (40.2 km) per three days he traveled a total distance of 75 miles (120.7 km).

Then I remembered that Nintendo and Intelligent Systems count days differently than I would. If you’ve played any Nintendo mobile app game, especially Fire Emblem Heroes, when they say 3 days are remaining in an event, they mean three days after today (So when you have 1 day left, there’s actually today and tomorrow). So maybe when he was stating “everything started three days ago,” he actually meant “everything started three days ago, not including today.” Maybe that’s how they count time in Tellius, today isn’t included in the counts.

Which changes things to two days of 10-15 miles (16.1-24.1 km), and two days of 20-25 miles (32.2-40.2 km). Low end is 60 miles (96.7 km), high end is 80 miles (128.8 km). Absolute max distance at 25 miles (40.2 km) over four days is 100 miles (160.9 km).

Now to put that on a map. The markings are in place where Soren pointed out the mercenary fort and Melior in Chapter 5. Melior is the castle on the left, the mercenary fort is the red dot on the left, the blue line shows his path. The path curves a little to account for roads, as they are rarely straight lines. Do I know where the roads are? Absolutely not. Am I trying to be perfectly precise? Absolutely not. That isn’t physically possible. I’m just making my best guess. Could you argue Soren could have cut a straight line? Probably, aside from having to take a bridge at some point to cross the river, Soren is shown to have an excellent sense of direction and could have taken a straight path across the surface as long as the terrain was travelable, however, having to pick his way through fields or forests would slow him down from the speed I assigned him before.

Now to put that to scale, I decided to pixel measure the distance. How did I do that? I took a 1 pixel brush in Photoshop, traced the path in the 1 pixel brush on a separate layer and then used the histogram tool to tell me how many pixels existed in the new layer.

The histogram tool spat out a total of 76 pixels.

So, a pixel could either be 0.526 miles (0.847 km), 0.724 miles (1.165 km), or 1 mile (1.609 km), depending on how far Soren traveled in those three days.

Or, again, using the other method of counting time, it could be 0.789 miles (1.270 km), 1.053 miles (1.695 km), or 1.316 miles (2.118 km).

Now then, for a sense of scale, I measured a wide point across the map to be 357 pixels. At our earlier scale, that could be either 188 miles (302.6 km), 259 miles (416.8 km), or 357 miles ( 574.5 km). The second set of proposed distances is 282 miles (453.8 km), 376 miles (605.1 km), 470 miles (756.4 km). Below, I have put some world geography to the map for a sense of scale. I realize most of the people reading this are probably going to be from North America like myself, but I threw in places from Europe and Japan for comparison. I don’t think my fellow Americans often realize how small Europe feels compared to U.S. states/Canadian Provinces, and for the setting of these games, Europe and Japan are going to be more accurate scale comparisons as that is what the devs would have had in mind.

In the below images, the first set of scales is on top, largest on the left, smallest on the right. The second set of scales is on the bottom, largest on the left, smallest on the right. The red line is the width I measured straight across, and as you can see, it is not the widest point on Tellius, but I digress. I’ll produce a cleaner image when I’m happy with the scale.

Now, this is a shock to me, who has always compared Tellius to Australia since I first started playing the games, but strictly speaking in terms of the story’s logic, it makes a lot of sense.

That said, I provided 6 different ranges, and perhaps you want a final answer. I’m certainly not satisfied with 6 different scales, and I need a precise answer for my purposes. The time that has passed during the game is going to help narrow it down a lot. To compare distances to time, we’re going to need to know the speed the mercenaries travel at. I’m just plugging things into Excel formulas to get what I want at this point so these are the travel speeds I’m assuming:

Soren travels on his own at 25 miles (40.2 km) per day, but for the smaller scales it was actually 20, but I’m applying 25 across the board for simplicity’s sake.

The mercenary company travels together at 20 miles (32.2 km) per day to account for the larger group, the slower members, the children, and Princess Elincia, who is certainly not going to go as fast as a mercenary can on their own. Could it be slower? Probably, but it’s just the number I chose.

When in Gallia, because of the adverse conditions (humidity and thick jungle), the beorc travel even slower, going 15 miles (24.1 km) per day. This leads to Lethe complaining about how slow they are and lets them take at least 5-11 days to cross the 124 pixels on their path from Gebal Castle to Zarzi. This also means that from the time it took for Elincia to get to Zarzi and Greil’s death, they were at Gebal castle for at least 7-11 days to allow Elincia to get to Zarzi and Caineghis to run from Zarzi to Gebal Castle and make it there the night Greil died, as Caineghis is definitely a laguz “worth his claws” to borrow localized Lethe’s turn of phrase, and as such, can cross the distance in 3 days with only laguz to accompany him (And then at least 6 days from Greil’s death to Daein’s attack on Gebal Castle allow Caineghis to go back to Zarzi and order Moredecai and Lethe to escort the bereaved mercenaries back to Zarzi. Also, Caineghis, can we talk for a sec? Why did you leave them there for 6 days when you knew Daein was hunting them? Please explain yourself beyond “plot made me do it”).

Nasir’s ship takes 60 days (roughly two months) to travel the 536 pixels his path is. This means it travels 8.93 pixels per day on average. This means his ship is going 4.7 - 11.8 miles (7.7 -19.0 km) per day. The larger the map, the faster his ships goes. But we can come to two conclusions: Nasir’s ship is only convenient because the mercenaries couldn’t travel over land due to Daein pursuit despite how slow the journey is; and Nasir is really bad at piloting a ship.

amielleon cites a source that no longer exists that states merchant trading boats can go an average of 120 miles (193.1 km) per day. I am taking that on faith to show how slow Nasir’s ship goes based on the scale of the world.

When they get the army, aside from the Palmeni Temple mission, they are slowed down to a 10 mile (16.1 km) per day march. Medieval armies were not fast, they often marched less than that per day, so the 10 mile (16.1 km) average pace is probably a little faster than average. However, as we learn in Radiant Dawn chapter 3-8, the Begnion Army can outpace a laguz army at frightening speeds, and so I’m fine going with that. It also means all the speeds are in multiples of 5 miles per hour, and that makes me happy.

So, now we can check the scales against how long it took them to leave Crimea and get to Riven/Oribes Bridge. In order to do that, we’ll need to determine where the mercenaries go throughout their travels.

There are several points where the mercenaries go somewhere only to return back to base immediately after. Return journeys are shown in purple, but for measuring distance, I only counted the original path out twice since the purple paths are a little more stylized for visibility. For fun, I wanted to show every path the mercenaries took since Daein attacked Melior. I then pixel measured every path that was taken.

This assumes a few things:

I’m assuming that when they’re talking about leaving Crimea behind, they’re discussing the time since Port Toha, and not fleeing from the mercenary fort.

Where the battle against Daein on the road to Melior takes place in Chapter 5 where they find Elincia (about halfway was my guess).

Where the river is that the laguz slave traders are fought in Chapter 14 (I just picked the branching river paths to the east of Sienne).

Where in the Grann Desert the Laguz Emancipation Army is fought in Chapter 15, I put it just past the mountains, but it could have been further. Who knows?

I’m assuming that when they’re desperately searching for Reyson in the Serenes forest for a while, they’re not returning to Sienne each day that they don’t find him before going to the heart of the forest in Chapter 17 because they’re in a race against Duke Tanas.

I’m guessing the heart of Serenes is in the center of the forest and they’re tracking Reyson’s flight somehow, and not literally canvasing the entire forest (which has an area of approximately 3,194 pixels and as such, would take months to canvas).

Where Gritnea Tower is located, which is stated to be about a day’s journey from where they’re staging the battle in Melior, so I just put it slightly southwest of Melior.

After plugging in my speeds and distances, I get the following results:

3 days is 3 days scale set:

Small Scale: 1 pixel = 0.526 miles (0.847 km), 122 days

Medium Scale: 1 pixel = 0.724 miles (1.165 km), 146 days

Large Scale: 1 pixel = 1 mile (1.609 km), 177 days

3 days is 4 days scale set (???):

Small Scale: 1 pixel = 0.789 miles (1.270 km), 153 days

Medium Scale: 1 pixel = 1.053 miles (1.695 km), 184 days

Large Scale: 1 pixel = 1.316 miles (2.118 km), 215 days

So, what happened? None of those add up to around 365 days.

Well, a few things. My math only accounts for the time it took them to walk the paths I made up. We know there is probably considerable down time that occurs during and in between chapters, especially when they’re in Begnion.

In Chapter 14, Training, Mist says they’ve been doing nothing for five days.

“We've been here for five days already...And there's absolutely nothing to do!”

In Chapter 17, Day Breaks, Soren says they have spent two days searching for Reyson before going to the heart where the battles we play take place

“The last two days spent searching Serenes Forest for that heron have been frustrating and fruitless.”

The time frame above doesn’t account for the 5 days they were waiting in Sienne before being sent on a mission, it doesn’t account for the 2 days they were searching the forest during Chapter 17 before the four part battle map. That’s 7 days we need to add to each calculation right off the bat. That gets the largest scale, 1 pixel = 1.316 miles (2.118 km) to a total of 222 days. This doesn’t even yet account for any additional down time: days resting after a large fight, the untold days it took them to hand out supplies to the people of Talrega, if they had to wait for Reyson and Leanne to prepare to revive Serenes Forest, if they had to wait more time for Sanaki to marshall her army to lend to the Crimean Army after they returned from Serenes, days spent securing Nevassa, and so on. Now, 140 days is a lot to just wave away through all this, I admit.

So maybe my travel speeds were wrong. Maybe the army couldn’t march at 10 miles (16.1 km) per day through Daein in the winter, maybe invading Daein in the winter is really difficult for Begnion forces who may be more used to a more temperate climate. All the numbers I picked were somewhat arbitrary to begin with.

Or perhaps all of the scales are wrong to start with. We get a map of Tellius in Radiant Dawn that is of different proportions than the Path of Radiance Map I’ve been working with so far.

Perhaps the Path of Radiance map was squished down for the aspect ratio of the GameCube, so the Radiant Dawn map has the true proportions of the world. Am I going back to square one? Absolutely.

After adjusting the height of the Path of Radiance Map to fit the ratio of the Radiant Dawn map, we get this image:

On this new map, Soren’s path from Melior to the mercenary fort took 78 pixels, which makes sense as his path was mostly horizontal, and so the vertical stretch shouldn’t have changed it too much.

Also, perhaps Soren, being half black-dragon laguz, goes faster than 20-25 miles (32.2 40.2 km) per day on his own.

So I’m going to re-examine the scale. Obviously the largest scale from the “3 days is 4 days (???)” scale set is the only one that comes reasonably close, so I’m going to modify that one only. And that’s already at 100 miles (160.9 km) from Melior to the mercenary fort. I’m going to say his max pace as a Branded is more like 4.125 mph (6.6 km/h), over a 8 hour walking period instead of the 3.125 mph (5.0 km/h) we were using before. I picked this speed because he can't transform and he is not a hardy person by any means, and so I’m only comfortable giving him the speed of a professional courier on foot.

professional couriers could trek up to 31, or 38 miles a day by foot!

That gets us 33 miles (51.5 km) per day, right in the middle of the courier speed, but also on the lower end, which is fine. We’ll say he has to travel the full amount he can travel for the 4 days he’s traveling, giving us a total distance of 132 miles (206.0 km). This changes our scale to 1 pixel = 1.692 miles (2.723 km).

That makes the final size comparison maps look like this.

I’m content with this size, and it’s almost the same as the final solution amielleon arrived at, mine is perhaps a little smaller. See? What did I say about good math before?

It’s a little hard to see the size comparison between amielleon’s work and my own because the maps I have uses Mercator projection and the map amielleon has uses an Albers Equals Area Conic Projection

Now, to figure out the rest of the speeds the group travels to double check the time spent on the campaign and see if we’re any closer to fitting within canon:

The mercenary group can travel 20 miles (32.2 km) per day on their own in favorable conditions.

When escorting non-combatants, the mercenary company travels 18 miles (30 km) per day.

When traveling through unfavorable conditions, the mercenary company travels 12 miles (19.3 km) per day.

When escorting non-combatants through unfavorable conditions, the mercenary company travels 9 miles (14.5 km) per day.

When travelling to Serenes, they go at 25 miles (40.2) a day via caravan to speed up the rescue mission, but the normal 18 miles (30 km) per day back

The Begnion Army can travel 8 miles (12.9 km) per day in favorable conditions as they aren’t using drugs to enhance performance like they do when chasing the laguz in Radiant Dawn (a gross exaggeration of an extended script fact, going by Google Translate.)

In the Extended Script of 3-7 Ulki says: 帝国軍は神官部隊を有効に利用し、休息の時間を最低限に抑えているようだ which Google rougly translates to: The Imperial Army makes effective use of priesthood troops, it seems that the rest time is kept to a minimum.

This seems to surprise everyone in Radiant Dawn, so I’m assuming they weren’t doing that in this campaign.

The Begnion Army can travel 5 miles (8.0 km) per day in unfavorable conditions.

The Crimean Royal Knights can march at 6 miles (9.7 km) per day in favorable terrain.

Nasir’s ship crosses the now 1,029 mile (1,656.0 km) path at a blistering 17.15 mile (27.6 km) a day pace. He is now a vastly more understandable choice to take, but he is still really bad at boats, or he’s making the boat trip take longer on purpose to earn the mercenaries’ trust and find out about the medallion.

From the time they take the boat in Toha and arrive at Riven/Oribes Bridge, they have now spent 295 days moving from place to place, and have had a known downtime of at least 7 days, bringing this journey to a minimum of 302 days. I feel very comfortable excusing away 63 days to additional downtime that is not spoken of in definite terms in the game, such as: preparing for or recovering from battles; the time it took for Sanaki to gather together the troops she was lending to the Crimean Army; time spent securing their hold on Nevassa; time spent scounting; and the fact that it’s been a little less than a year from when they leave Port Toha to when they arrive back in Crimea.

The total distance they travel from Soren’s flight from Melior in Chapter 5 to defeating Ashnard in Melior is 5,037 miles (8,106.3 km) over 407 days, with 19 days of downtime in Gallia (13 before Greil dies, 6 after he dies), at least 5 days of downtime in Sienne, and 2 days searching for Reyson in Serenes before finding Leanne, and probably a whole lot more time that passes off screen.

If you want to try and set your own scale, feel free. I have listed below all the different lengths of the various parts of their journey as shown in my maps.

Flight to fort, 78 pixels Roadside Battle, 39 pixels Flight to Gallian Border, 36 pixels Trip from border to Gebal Castle, 24 pixels Trip to Fort Tatana, 37 pixels Final leg of trip to Zarzi, 90 pixels Journey back to Gallian Border, 132 pixels Trip to Port Toha, 68 pixels Nasir’s Very Slow Boat Trip, 608 pixels Trip from Begnion port to Sienne, 88 pixels Mission out to stop Slave Traders, 53 pixels Mission out to Grann Desert, 84 pixels Mission out to the Tanas villa, 147 pixels Mission out to Serenes Forest, 236 pixels March up to Tor Garen, 204 pixels March up to Talrega, 68 pixels March up to Nevassa, 61 pixels Mission out to Palmeni Temple, 37 pixels March over to Riven/Oribes Bridge, 140 pixels March to Castle Delbray, 46 pixels March to Mountains, 34 pixels March to Fort Pinell, 38 pixels March to Castle Nados, 12 pixels March to Melior, 30 pixels Mission out to Gritnea Tower, 20 pixels

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1kook · 5 years ago

Text

imax & climax

summary; The occasional dark horse candidate among Barbie movie binges— Jungkook gets weirdly horny and fucks you to the tune of a classic Barbie movie soundtrack. warnings; fingering, blowjobs, tit play, praise kink, standing sex, unprotected sex, reverse cowgirl kinda idk lol, daddy kink that morphs into i love u kink tags; jk is an avid history channel viewer, jk hates Barbie movies ik we took an L today girls 😔, jk goes thru like 4 personality changes (commanding > soft > mean > in love), honestly idk what to tag it’s a mess, he’s still cheesy and romantic but also 👀 just read word count; 9.8k

notes; there is no rest for the wicked, aka miss 1kook writes another part for this fic i swore wasn't gonna be a series except this time we ditch the gentlemen persona and go into maximum overdrive. its not proofread bc i wrote this entire thing at 4 am last night after inhaled a whole bucket of spicy popcorn

[ part 1 ; netflix & chill ] [ part 2 ; hulu & wohoo ]

Jungkook sees it on display during your weekly Target trip. You know he won’t say anything because despite how long you’ve dated he still likes to pretend he’s the epitome of adult maturity. Yet the way his eyes linger over the electronics section, cart rolling to a stop in front of the massive screen, tells you all you need to know.

“Baby, the toilet paper is this way,” you sing, giving the front of the cart a gentle tug that pulls it and his thoughts away from the television that seems to hold reign over his interest.

“Ah,” he mumbles as he shakes himself out of whatever trance he was in. “Right.”

The Target trip ends rather uneventfully; you grab all the items you came for and make the executive decision of swapping Jungkook’s tangerine bathroom soap with strawberry instead. Normally he’d put up a good fight, argue about the comfort that came with consistency, but today he says nothing. You chalk it up to that flatscreen that hypnotized him earlier.

“You wanted it,” you announce rather pointedly in the car. He’s backing out of the parking space now, one hand on the wheel the other pressed to the side of your seat. His jaw twitches as he tries to maneuver around a stray shopping cart someone didn’t return to the retrieval area. He’s wearing that dark jumper you like, with the high collar that covers all of last night’s bruises up wonderfully.

Jungkook scoffs as he finally gets the two of you back onto the main road, Target and the flat screen left behind. “I didn’t,” he defends. “Just thought it was neat.”

You snort. “Neat. Okay, grandpa, did it tickle your pickle?” you tease, obnoxiously leaning over the center console to get all in his face. Jungkook greets your proximity with a palm against your forehead.

“Please don’t ever say that again,” he laughs, pulling to a stop at the next red light. He turns to level you with an easygoing grin, sparkly anime girl eyes extra shiny under the red glow. “Only want you to tickle my pickle.”

You gag. “That’s actually disgusting.”

——

You graduate on a Saturday and your dorm stay expires on the Tuesday that follows. You spend the entire day shoving all your belongings into a variety of trash bags, from your weighted blanket to the collection candles you and Doyeon swore to light every night and never did. Speaking of Doyeon, she cries through the entire process. From the moment you take down the first wall decoration she’s in tears, and not even her mom, who’s come to help out, can quell her emotions. The girl cries and cries. She cries throughout the clean up, like she hadn’t spent the week before cursing the funky aircon system to hell and back. It’s probably the nostalgia that comes with leaving college, you assume. When Jungkook picks you up around noon, even your eyes are glassy.

Jungkook’s mom, who you only just met a few months ago, is over at his place when you arrive. You get along fairly well, in fact, you would even go as far as to claim you got along really well. You had first met her over this past spring break when Jungkook invited you along to his family trip to some tropical island. The Jeons were lovely people. In fact, had Jungkook not explicitly introduced them as his parents, you would’ve thought they were some sitcom actors carrying out the role of most in love, sophisticated lovers to ever exist. Yeah, they were super into each other, and you suppose it’s why Jungkook is the way he is, loves as hard as he does. The only thing that broke their attention away from each other was the sight of their precious Jungkookie bringing you to a family event.

It was hard to keep them entertained. Every second was spent worrying about your appearance, your demeanor, whether or not you looked like a devil beside their (your) angelic boy. It certainly didn’t help that Jungkook was wearing that obnoxiously floral shirt at the restaurant you went to, the first three buttons undone almost lazily. It was a look your boyfriend rarely showed, always so meticulously dressed. Of course, he had that cute boyish style of his that consisted almost exclusively of baggy pants and designer tee’s a little too plain to cost as much as they did. But even those outfits had a specific Jungkook rhythm to them— the darker tones always went with the pants that had twelve buckles on them; the long sleeves always went with the jeans. He was awfully particular about those kinds of self-set rules, and this jarring floral print did not fit any of them. It was too provocative, the black skinny jeans he’d paired with it too devious.

Maybe he knew what he was doing to you dressed so hot like this, but knowing Jungkook, you doubt he did. His parents hadn’t batted a single lash his way, eyes laser focused on your every word as you stumbled through three plates and dessert. It was a battle you fought alone, and one you barely survived.

So despite you impressing his parents, she still gives you an odd look when you enter Jungkook’s swanky townhouse with all your garbage bags of items. You promise her it’s just for the weekend, until your parents clean out your old room that they’ve filled to the brim with holiday decorations and miscellaneous objects. You’re not trying to take her baby chick out of the nest. (Yet.)

You watch TV for a couple hours, mostly her favorite soap operas on his 67 in. screen. It takes up a huge spot on the wall where it’s mounted, glossy black screen glaring back at you. Even his mom scolds him for such a huge screen, and you wonder how she’d feel about the absolute giant he ogled at the Target last week. Super angry, you think, and the image of her raging in flames while Jungkook apologizes like the momma’s boy he is makes you giggle.

She leaves a little after sunset, kissing and hugging the both of you on the doorstep like she’s going off to war and will never return. She’ll be back by the weekend, desperate to check on her baby boy, but you let her have her moment. It’s weird seeing how dramatic the Jeons are compared to how reserved Jungkook is.

You pounce on him the second she’s gone. He goes down with a muffled yelp against the sofa, hands grasping at your waist until you straddle him and begin going to town. Your fun lasts all of two minutes before the old lady novella Jungkook’s mom had been watching cuts to commercials and a loud advertisement for irritable bowel syndrome medication begins playing.

“Oh, that is so not sexy,” you whine childishly, trying to roll your hips over him again. Jungkook laughs, all low and sweet as he sits back up again.

“Give it a rest,” he says, shifting you until he’s got you hugged between those stupidly strong arms of his. His pecs feel strong and comforting beneath your cheek, and the feeling makes your tiny pouting session end earlier than usual. “Come on,” he mumbles as he manhandles you around, until your back is pressed against his chest and you’re sitting between his legs. “Let’s watch this film on Mesopotamian folklore and its overall significance to the nations it birthed after its downfall.”

——

You rarely use the key Jungkook gifted you a few months back. The majority of your visits to Jungkook’s house were either the result of Jungkook picking you up from somewhere and bringing you back, or Jungkook inviting you over after dinner. In short, he was always with you when you arrived at his stoop.

Today you’re alone, juggling two boxes of takeout and some cheap wine in one hand as you fight to unlock his door. He hadn’t answered his phone, which leads you to believe he’s holed himself up again in that damn study. He likes to do that sometimes, lock himself away like some modern day Rapunzel until he finishes whatever project he has this time around. When he gets like this, it’s like all other body functions are forgotten, his brain zeroed in on the lines of code you barely understand.

Just as you suspect, the house is too dark when you finally break in. The hall light is off, which isn’t out of the norm, but so are the kitchen and living room lights. You pad down the hall, flicking on the light to the living room to set down your offerings onto the edge of the coffee table. There’s a scrambled pile of notes on top that seem too disorderly to disregard. You whirl around, making to head back out into the hall and down to the study, when you see it.

A good 90 inches mounted on his wall. It’s a monstrosity of a screen, devouring nearly the entire surface of the wall, from stainless end to stainless end. It’s ridiculously thin in the way all modern TVs are, but this one is even more so given the fact you hadn’t registered it in your peripheral when you walked in. It’s just barely short of a Jumbotron, the kind they have at baseball games to make sure you can see every nose hair on the pitcher.

His mom was going to kill him.

“Jungkook?” you call out slowly, inching back out into the hall with your gaze glued to the screen. Like maybe you’ve imagined this all and that isn’t the stupidly gigantic television screen Jungkook had gawked at just a few weeks ago.

There’s a soft hum down the hall, the sound slipping beneath the bottom gap in the door frame. You make a beeline for the room, oddly unsettled with the huge screen. The door gives way, exposing your boyfriend’s hunched back and the blue light from his monitors that highlights his frame. “Hi, sweetie,” you begin, inching over to him.

“Hi,” he sighs, leaning back into your touch when you step behind him. His dark eyes are weary from staring at his tablet for too long, his usual tender expression melted into one of mild irritation. “Can’t figure this out,” he says, tapping his stylus against one line of absolute nerd gibberish you don’t bother trying to decipher. Maybe another day you would have entertained him, but today you cherish this moment with him knowing it might be his last before his mom comes over and kills him.

“Sounds like break time to me!” Your proclamation makes him frown, a frustrated groan pulling itself from his lips. His head droops forward again, chin touching his chest. But there’s a hint of relief in his groan that tells you all you need to know. “Baby needs a break,” you smile, pressing a peck against the back of his head.

“You’re baby,” he tries to fight, but his limbs are so pliant under your touch that it practically means nothing. “I’m the head honcho around here.”

“Uh huh,” you appease him, finally managing to tug all that muscled body out of his seat. “And apparently that means making dumb purchases.”

“What dumb purchases? Are you talking about the cactus again?” he asks, letting you guide him back down the hall.

“Yes, Kook, the cactus you haven’t watered in three months,” you drawl sarcastically, the sad plant sitting in the kitchen a reminder of both your incompetence. “Namjoon would hate you for that.”

Not amused by the insinuation of his favorite senpai being disappointed in him, Jungkook goes to fight you on that. By then you’ve stopped at the entrance of the living room, glaring at the straight up theater screen that sits on the wall. “Oh.”

“Yeah, oh,” you mimic, flopping down on the ground beside the coffee table. Jungkook doesn’t follow, choosing to sprawl himself over the couch instead. “What’s with the Jumbotron?”

He stretches his arms out, moaning something sinful at the way his bones pop. “It adds to the experience,” he says. “Movies are more enjoyable when the pictures are bigger; a tall aspect ratio and stadium seating really add to the experience.” He was such a nerd.

You snort. “The experience— Oh, I’m sorry. Didn’t know I was speaking to Mr. IMAX here.”

His cheeks flush a soft pink at your jab. “Don’t be mean,” he mumbles, tugging on your arm as he sits back up. You find your way onto his lap, neatly seated over one thigh like he’s the Santa Claus at the mall; not a single gray hair in sight but you’d still let him call you his hoe, hoe, hoe. Realizing there’s more important matters to attend to than Jungkook’s Christmas ham, you shake those images away.

“Good thing I brought a movie,” you beam, gesturing to the pretty pink case resting over top the takeout bag.

Jungkook doesn’t even spare it a single glance as he burrows into your neck. “What? No, we’re finishing the docuseries on—“

You groan loudly to muffle the rest of his sentence. “Kook, I don’t wanna watch another episode on Stonehenge being done by aliens,” you whine, picking up the movie case to brandish in his face.

It’s admittedly the wrong move when Jungkook’s eyes roll themselves into another dimension. “Absolutely not,” he says. The case is quickly discarded off to the side as he attempts to distract you with a kiss against your cheek.

Too bad you’re evil and determined. “No! We are watching the Princess and the Pauper and that’s final,” you exclaim, scrambling for the movie before he can hurl it out the window. He catches you by the waist, your fingers just an inch away from the pink case. “Babe!” you cry, but his fingerprints are bruising their way into your skin.

“No more Barbie movies,” he begs, yanking you back onto his lap. He does so with so much force that it makes the two of you tumble to the side, your head bouncing on the cushions as he catches himself over you. “Please.”

“I hate you,” you fuss, pointedly ignoring the tiny mole beneath his lip that drove you crazy. “We’ve seen every single thing on the History Channel this week, but we can’t watch one Barbie movie?”

Jungkook sighs, dropping his head down against your shoulder. He smells good and feels even better over you, but you’re not going to stop until the Princess and the Pauper is breaking in the new Jumbotron. “It’s weird,” he huffs, voice muffled against the fabric of your shirt. “Especially when we start getting… experimental, and I have to listen to Barbie sing in the background.”

“First of all, her name is Annaleise in this movie,” you correct, squirming beneath him to no avail. “Secondly, how do you think I feel when you’re eating me out while some old British dude narrates the creation of the Hanging Gardens of Babylon?”

Jungkook scoffs, finally letting himself snuggle completely into you. “You don’t even realize it because you’re screaming the whole way through.” That earns him a sharp tug at his ear that has him sputtering apology after apology.

“It’s boring!” you feel the need to emphasize.

Jungkook sits up with an uppity look on his face. “It’s not my fault you don’t appreciate the cinematography that comes from educational pieces,” he points out, rather presumptuously.

You shove him off of you. “I don’t care about cinnamon topography, just play the damn Barbie movie,” you hiss, swiping the movie case from the other end of the couch and pressing it to his chest. If words could hurt, yours definitely do. Jungkook crumbles against the couch, childishly stomping one sock-clad foot against the ground as you gesture toward the movie player.

He doesn’t move, and you’re about to begin another tirade against his snobby movie critiquing habits when he procures a sleek, tiny remote that you would honestly mistake for an iPhone from a distance. It has, no joke, about seven buttons max, four of which are just the up and down, left and right arrows. You let out a low whistle at that. Wow. Technology sure was advancing.

The TV turns on to some minimalistic home page, tiny widgets showing every app it has; the bottom row is dedicated almost entirely to Jungkook’s massive streaming service provider collection. After a moment of brewing in his feels, Jungkook quietly announces, “it’s on Amazon Prime.” This is news to you, being able to watch a Barbie film on a streaming service and not the old disk you scratched when you were ten. Something distinctly carnal flashes in your chest when Jungkook clicks through all the payment options without a care in the world. Oh, that was definitely going into your horny 3 am dreams.

Despite his earlier protests, you know Jungkook will soon fall into his usual movie watching habits. He settles into the couch beside you. You cuddle up next to him, enveloping him with the grip of a killer octopus choking out its prey, except Jungkook is usually the one doing the choking in this relationship. Still, it’s not close enough, and you throw your legs over his thigh. You’re practically sitting on him at this point.

You have no doubt the speakers on this thing are average; it was too thin to really pack any punch. However, that was the TV sans the Bluetooth speakers Jungkook has installed all around his house.

(You swear when the android uprising finally begins, your boyfriend will be the first one out.)

The speakers really amplify the sound. The opening sequence has your bones rattling inside your body, the loud music of the selection screen reverberating through the entire living room. It reminds you of that pounding COMING SOON clip that used to play at the beginning of DVD’s back in the day. Jungkook scrambles to lower the volume. “Sweetheart, you’re cutting off my circulation,” he wheezes afterwards.

“What? This is how we always watch movies,” you say with a frown.

“Yes, and I always end up with less oxygen than before.”

He doesn’t let you argue, which is good, because you could make a thirty five slide PowerPoint presentation on the advantages of watching movies like this. One, your boyfriend was warm. Two, your boyfriend smelt good. Three, your boyfriend’s ripped body awoke some ancient being inside of you that would not rest until his cock was halfway down your thro—

He hauls you into his lap. The angle forces you to let him go, instead met with the jarring nothingness of having his hot body ripped away. Meanwhile he gets to wrap you up in his arms, hold you like a teddy bear to his chest. “I hate this,” you huff, but the movie is already starting, the beautiful blonde Anneliese appearing on screen. You lean back against his chest, pout still evident. “This is ridiculous,” you snort, her face blown up on this jumbo screen.

“Shut up,” he says, settling in behind you. “Movie’s starting.”

Most Barbie movies you watch end up in one of two ways: either Jungkook falls asleep twenty minutes in or he stays up until the end to critique every aspect of it. With the way he’d gone soft from your early battle, you’re guessing he was going to knock out before the Princess can even meet the Pauper.

As much as you hate to admit it, the huge screen does incite quite a thrill in you. There’s something so nostalgic about watching one of your favorite childhood movies on a screen this huge. The size showcases the sheer perfection that is every single Barbie movie. You lose yourself in the movie, singing along to the opening song and growing agitated when the antagonist appears.

Jungkook says nothing, and you’re half convinced he’s taken his first preferred route and snoozed off, when his fingers twitch around your waist.

There it was.

The occasional dark horse candidate among Barbie movie binges— Jungkook gets weirdly horny and fucks you to the tune of a classic Barbie movie soundtrack.

“Absolutely not,” you say, slapping a hand down over his before he can slip beneath the fabric of your shorts.

He lets out an indignant noise, a puff of air running along the side of your face. You ease his hands back over your stomach, taking extra care to knot your fingers with his. “We’re supposed to be breaking in your new screen,” you remind him, glancing up to catch his unimpressed expression.

He complains quietly, but he settles.

For all of twenty seconds.

“Oh my god,” you sigh, trying to act like the subtle rutting of his cock on your behind was a nuisance and not the luxury it is. “Babe, the jumbo screen… look at it.”

“Not even jumbo,” he murmurs against your ear, hot breath sending a shiver down your spine that has your toes curling. You fight to keep his hands still, but the muscles in his forearm tense, inked skin contracting as he slips them between your thighs. You suck in a sharp inhale, trying to maintain your immovable front. Jungkook sees the fortress you’ve built around yourself in the name of watching The Princess and the Pauper, and spares you no mercy with his attack. His hands massage the skin of your thighs, tiny shorts doing absolutely nothing to save you from him. “Jumbo didn’t fit.”

The back of your mind registers the fact he was apparently trying to get a TV even bigger than this. You tuck it away for later to snitch to his mom. For now, you’d very much appreciate it if he could make you cum before the two girls perform the iconic “I Am a Girl Like You” song.

His hands are so smooth, soft skin tracing over your body like you were nothing but a slab of clay ready to be molded under his touch. He abandons your thighs to creep them under your shirt, where he wastes no time tugging the cups of your bra down to fondle your breasts.

Belatedly, your stupid tongue remembers to move. “I know something jumbo that fits,” you babble, rolling your head back against his shoulder. Jungkook laughs at the utter stupidity of your sentence, and the aforementioned jumbo thing fattens against your ass, before brushing his lips against yours. The airy laughter, one of your favorite sounds in the world, is swallowed up by your greedy mouth. “Can fit in two places, actually,” you murmur when he pulls away. His fingers massage the doughy skin of your boobs causing your back to arch slightly. “Wherever he wants it to.”

“Really,” Jungkook teases, obviously entertained by your silly dirty talk. He’s grown used to your outlandish remarks in the past few months of your relationship.

You like to believe Jungkook has fully accepted your occasional bouts of weirdness. He’s had the last few months to grow familiar with the inner workings of your mind, and even absorbed some of it into his own personality. Which is why he doesn’t seem the least bit bothered by you referring to his cock as jumbo, when there were admittedly more fitting words to describe it as.

(Thick, juicy, angry, demon cock, if he really wanted to know.)

“Where do you think it should go?” he asks, the low hum of his voice snapping you out or your thoughts. There was no need to daydream about a cock that was right in front of you. His hands slow their gentle caress over you, fingers closing in on your nipples.

A sharp hiss pulls itself from your throat, chest arching as he tugs and toys with your hardened nipples. “Wh-Wherever,” you pant, reaching your own hands down back between your thighs. The phantom of his palms linger, making your hands feel sorely inadequate. “Wherever Daddy wants,” you purr, swallowing harshly when he twists a nipple.

Jungkook groans, resting his forehead against your shoulder. “Don’t,” he sighs, hands faltering over your breasts. Eventually they drift away, settling around your waist as you slip your fingers under the front of your bottoms.

“Why?” you laugh, pointer finger brushing along your clit. “Don’t like it when I call you that, Daddy?”

He lifts his head to watch you play with yourself. His hands grow tight around your waist, labored breath filling the air to harmonize with your breathy moans. You’re absolutely soaking your panties, sticky arousal making the fabric stick to your folds. “You know I do,” he murmurs, watching the outline of your knuckles through the fabric of your shorts. “Thought you wanted to play nice today.” He takes in a sharp inhale when you ease your finger into yourself, a breathy moan escaping from your lips.

You were already so wet, and you’re really not surprised this is how the two of you would break in his new IMAX, high definition flatscreen. Your pussy tightens around your finger, thigh muscles jumping at the intrusion. Fuck, you needed him so bad.

You smirk, drawing your hands out from their hiding spot. The television is the only thing lighting the room, the two of you shrouded in relative darkness. At first, your hand is shadowed by the glow of the screen, nothing more than an outline. But when you turn it just right, the light catches, highlighting the glistening skin of your fingers. It makes Jungkook shudder.

Ever so slowly, you bring your fingers up to his face. The tip of your middle finger runs teasingly against his plump lower lip, his shaky exhales sending a cool breath over your knuckles. “Open, Daddy,” you encourage, watching with rapt attention as he envelopes your fingers between his lips. He sucks, tongue dancing between each digit to slurp off your juices. “Do I taste good? Do you like it?”

You know he loves it, but it never hurts to ask.

Between the two of you, you each had your own share of distinctive interests when it came to sex. Kinks, if you will. You adored the softer, vanilla aspects of sex— the languid makeouts, the slow rutting against his thigh, the whispered praise, the cute pet names. Meanwhile, despite his initially reserved exterior, Jungkook preferred the other end of the spectrum. (You should’ve known from the get go!) He loved it fast and hard, so hard it would make you cry. He liked watching you squirm and beg for his cock while he pushed you to new heights. He liked the sticky, sweaty sex that left you feeling like a used rag beneath him, something you would have never expected given his neat and kind nature.

However, as with all things Jungkook, you always came first. Jungkook’s dream sex style was often pushed to the side in favor of pleasuring you. So quick and rough sex was more of a rare, once in a blue moon, type of luxury. Up until recently, sex had been mostly what you wanted. Either way you did things, Jungkook was fine as long as he got to hold you close.

It was only a few weeks ago that you discovered your shared daddy kink, him obsessed with the idea of shoving you around, something he would otherwise never do. You, on the other hand, found a pleasant satisfaction from being good for him, a stark contrast from your usual sharp tongue and nonexistent filter.

You pull your fingers from his mouth, the sleek drip of your arousal replaced with his saliva. Jungkook grunts as he hauls you further onto his lap, swollen cock nudging itself between your cheeks. “You know I love it, baby,” he growls against your ear. His hot breath fans over your skin, sending shivers down your spine. “Have you had your fun now?” he asks, tracing the pads of his fingers around your nipple teasingly.

“Mhm,” you moan. Jungkook’s hands decide they’re done toying with your tits, drifting back down to their original target between your shorts. “Want Daddy to fuck me now.”

He places a kiss against the side of your neck, right over the vein that runs beneath the skin. Jungkook kisses and nips down your skin, until his hair is tickling your collarbones as he sucks a hickey against the juncture between your neck and shoulder. “Is that the right way to ask for something?” he purrs, rubbing your cunt over your shorts.

It’s nowhere near as fulfilling as it would be without the garments. Nonetheless, it makes you ache for him, thighs quivering at the simple touch like you’re a bumbling virgin being touched for the first time. You’re nowhere near that, but every time with Jungkook was exhilarating enough to the point it felt like it was.

“Pretty please,” you pant, covering his hand with yours.

Jungkook rewards you with a fluttery kiss against your shoulder. “Good girl,” he hums. He finally gives you what you want, bypassing the fabric of your shorts and panties to dip his fingers between your folds. You gasp, hips jumping at the sudden brush of his hands along your quivering folds.

“Inside please,” you whimper, knees moving back and forth, only stopping when he helps you out of your bottoms. He places his free hand on one of them, stilling your writhing to fully focus on pleasing the burning fire inside of you. “Jungkook—“

A slap against your cunt that makes you squeal. “Ah ah,” he warns, voice a low tenor against your skin. If you focus hard enough, you can feel the faint brush of a smirk against your neck. “We’re playing a different game right now, pretty girl.”

On screen, your favorite childhood movie is bearing witness to the sinful acts at your boyfriend’s hands. It shouldn’t be surprising how easily you fall into his arms, onto his lap, especially with your history of movie watching with Jungkook.

From your very first date you were enamored with him; the dip of his Cupid’s bow, so innocent and cute, embodied every single aspect of his personality. He was the sweetest, softest boy, one your brain could never conjure in a thousand years. Jungkook’s level of care was hard to come by nowadays; he was a gentleman through and through.

These days he was growing out of that mature persona, and you like to think it’s thanks to you. Your wildness rubbed off on him, made him confident enough to geek out in public, or be adventurous in private. It helped nourish his impulsivity, which led to things like the Super Bowl Jumbotron watching you fuck now.

Despite knowing all this, knowing the way he is, the slow grind against your ass sends a thrill of arousal up your limbs, sensations converging just beneath your mound. “Yes, Daddy,” you mewl accordingly.

Pleased with your obedience, he rewards you by circling your throbbing clit with his thumb. It’s a terribly slow motion, pad of his finger easing over your engorged bud every other second. You wanted more, needed more. You squirm beneath him, attempting to push your clit against his palm. Your efforts are in vain when he clamps a hand down on your waist. “Sit still,” he growls.

You whimper. “Need more,” you rasp out. Your whole body is acting out now, shifting and turning as you try to wiggle closer. Your mouth brushes against his jawline. The sharp angle is the first thing your muddled thoughts focus on, lips hungrily latching onto his porcelain skin to suck a purple blossom onto it.

Any other day Jungkook would bask in the attention, let you bruise his skin up until he was violet from love.

Today... well.

You were playing a different game.

The hand that had been exploring your nether regions suddenly snaps up, catching your chin between his fingers. The wetness that has coated his digits smears messily across your skin, and you whimper when he squishes your cheeks beneath his fingers.

“No ‘please’?” he huffs, turning your head to meet his eyes.

Dark chocolate eyes you’ve come to associate with love and adoration stare back at you unimpressed. His pronounced brow bone twitches, like he’s holding the true intensity of his glare back for your own sake. He slots his mouth against yours with no warning, tongue pushing its way past your lips. It’s messy, his tongue licking into your mouth like you’re nothing but a lollipop for him to suck on. It pulls a surprised moan from your lips that he swallows quickly enough, biting down on your lower lip harshly. When he pulls away, he’s got that same bored look on his face. You feel small under such a cold look, shoulders scrunching up damn near your ears in a subtle attempt to hide from him.

The action makes Jungkook scoff as he leans away from you. He leaves you on his lap alone, like a tiny island desperate to join the main land. You shuffle around in a hurry, looping your arms around his neck in a last ditch effort to calm him down. It does nothing for Jungkook, who only prods his tongue along his cheek as he regards you with a calculating gaze.

After a moment, he finally says, “on your knees.”

Your heart falls out of your chest. “Huh?” you whisper hoarsely, wide eyes taking in his unimpressed expression. “Knees? But Daddy,” you whine, lower lip quivering as you glance down at the hardwood floor.

Anywhere else you wouldn’t have minded. In fact, anywhere else you would’ve been on the floor before the sentence even left his mouth. You loved sucking his dick almost as much as he loved eating you out. However your knees were embarrassingly frail against hard flooring, which is why most blowjobs had been administered in the comfort of his bed or the couch. Sometimes on carpeted surfaces, but Jungkook never pushed when he knew you would be aching the whole time.

Which is why his current demand has you standing stiff. “O-On the floor?” you murmur.

The stark truth was that Jungkook had you terribly spoiled. His constant pampering had convinced you you were invincible. His love was practically handed to you on a silver plate, cloth napkin folded like a crane beside it. He had never made you do something you didn’t like, and he had never put you in an uncomfortable position, mentally or physically.

Until now.

Jungkook gestures for the ground with a curt nod. “Is there a problem?” he inquires.

You look back again, eye the dark wood planks beneath you, glossed over enough to make them shine even in this weak light. “No,” you belatedly respond, slowly pushing yourself off his lap and onto your feet. Your big shirt falls back down, covers the tops of your thighs as you stand nude from the waist down. You’re tempted to just yank it down even more, hide beneath the cloth so he doesn’t have to see you whine and bitch about your knees aching.

Jungkook was so cool. He was so suave and composed. He was the opposite of you, which is why the two of you meshed so well together. You’ve thought about it about ten times tonight, but it was true. Despite all that, there were times his mature exterior made you feel small— small and silly. Like now, with him sitting against the sofa, dark eyes tracing up your legs in amusement.

You sink to the ground, very pointedly avoiding his gaze. The wooden slats are cold and hard beneath your knees, your kneecap immediately screaming in discomfort. Jungkook leans forward with his elbows on his knees, messy curls covering half of his face. “You know,” he hums, reaching out to trail his knuckles across your cheekbone. “I kinda like having you like this,” he admits, “below me like the good little girl you are.”

Your breath stutters as it leaves your lungs, fidgeting hands tugging at the front hem of your shirt in a feeble attempt to cover yourself up. Jungkook smirks at the movement, eventually retracting his hand to give you one, condescending pat on the head.

A hearty sigh escapes his lips as he settles back onto the couch cushions. “Keep me entertained, will you?” You gawk, but you know it’s not a question. He reaches over for the remote to turn the volume up on the Barbie movie.

Your favorite song on the entire soundtrack is playing, almost mocking you as you shuffle closer to him. Two hands tentatively placed on his thighs as the two animated maidens flounce around the screen. He doesn’t bat a single lash your way, eyes focused on the huge screen behind you instead.

His sweatpants give away easily, elastic band snapping away from hips. You have to fight that and his boxers down, Jungkook sitting like an immovable boulder in front of you. You barely manage to free his cock— the same jumbo cock you had referred to earlier —and it almost slaps you across the face from the force of its recoil. Your breath catches in your throat, a short-lived squeal as you flinch at the movement.

The sound causes him to look your way, over the bridge of his nose. “Do you mind?” he says scornfully. “I’m trying to watch a movie.”

“S-Sorry,” you stammer, quickly grasping his cock between your fist.

But apparently you’re doing everything wrong tonight. Jungkook hisses. “Shit— would it kill you to lick it first? Like you’re trying to start a damn fire on my cock,” he mumbles, head lolling back to watch the screen again.

You move in slower this time, careful to lick your palm before trying to grab him. When you do, it’s even more delayed, fingers hesitantly tightening around his swollen member. You’re trying to gauge his reaction, worried eyes flickering up to him every few seconds. Jungkook doesn’t object, craning his neck to the side to crack a joint there. With his clearance you carry on.

The strokes are slow at first, hand barely reaching over his tip like he likes. You’re weirdly anxious you’ll mess up for him, make him look at you with contempt. You suppose it’s because of the game you’re playing that you’re on edge. Usually, Jungkook adheres to your rules, soft as they may be, and he never pushes where you don’t want. Tonight, it’s like you’re a show dog desperate to impress her owner. In short, you were his bitch.

You loved it.

As much as you wanted to be good for him, the mere thought of your normally sweet-hearted boyfriend glaring down at you does something to you, makes your pussy clench.

It’ll haunt you for weeks. The image of such unimpressed eyes leveled your way because you couldn’t handle his dick will stain the insides of your eyelids. Even though he’ll brush it off, kiss you and tell you it’s fine, the inner conceited hoe in you will never let it go, will recall the memory every time your hand is under your panties.

Still, you’re terribly desperate to impress him. He was your other half, your lover, your sweetheart, your goddamn king; he deserved only the best— not some half-assed, scaredy-cat blowjob that would leave him reeling back afterwards.

With that belief and a sticky blob of spit later, you’re pushing him into your throat. It’s the first reaction you get since he’d started feeling you up, a deep, raspy groan straight from the pits of hell, that has you working even harder to swallow his cock down. “That’s it,” he pants, carding his fingers through your hair. “Good girl.”

You positively mewl under the praise, tongue growing heavy in your mouth as you swallow more and more of him down. The hard tip of his cock pulses inside, rubbing against your palate and then your throat. A gag catches in your throat, one you quickly subdue by shifting your hips.

Fuck, he was so big. Just the feeling of his cock brashly rubbing against the corners of your lips has you fantasizing about how he’ll undoubtedly stretch your pussy apart later. You moan, letting your eyes flutter shut as you try to wave those images away.

When his cock hits the back of your throat, you’re ten chapters deep into an erotic novel all about sucking Jungkook‘s dick. If your eyes weren’t already shut you’re certain they’d be at the back of your head anyway. It twitches against your tongue, one thick bead of precum sliding down your throat.

It seems to be the final straw for Jungkook, who clamps a hand down on the back of your head, forcefully pulling you away only to shove you down again. With his grip in your hair, he really goes to town. You whimper at his brutal movements, his cock nudging the back of your throat with every harsh tug of your hair. The slippery, wet glide of his cock against your mouth fills the room with a lewd squelching that drowns out the movie.

Your pussy quivers with each new intrusion, thighs pressing together as if that will quell the searing ache between them. It doesn’t, and when Jungkook finally bursts in your mouth, creamy cum splattering against your tongue and lips, it only grows.

“Fuck,” he growls, pushing you away as he sinks back into the cushions. His chest heaves beneath the material of his t-shirt, sweat dripping down from his hairline. Normally, you’d take this opportunity to crawl back onto his lap, lick and kiss away at his body while he recovered. But truthfully, you were both still new to this whole experience so there were still the occasional lulls between actions.

Sensing your uncertainty, Jungkook tugs you onto his lap. He presses one soft kiss against your cheek, eyes momentarily losing their hard edge to assure you everything is fine. You give him a tiny nod, as if assuring him you’re okay. He presses his mouth to yours, plush lips soothing over your raw lips. It’s brief, the kiss; he guides you through it but switches back quickly. He pulls away and bites down harshly on the side of your neck. “So perfect for me, pretty girl,” he murmurs, soothing his bite over with a swipe of his tongue.

You dissolve into a mushy puddle on his lap, muscles growing weak from his touch. Jungkook kisses down your neck, over your t-shirt clad chest, before he’s nudging you back down onto the cushions. With him looming over you, your body instinctively has you spreading your legs apart. His t-shirt comes up with one yank over his shoulders, sinewy muscles coming into view.

“Yum,” you whisper, hands reaching up to trail over his v-line. They’re quickly slapped away, a startled gasp pulled from your lips as Jungkook takes your wrists in his hands.

One shapely brow is raised in your direction. “Did I say you could touch?” he murmurs, pinning your hands above your head. A gasp catches in your throat from his close proximity. You subconsciously tilt your head up, try to brush your mouth against his, only to be denied with a subtle turn of his face. “How do you want it, pretty?” he asks, releasing the tight grip around your wrists.

Immediately, you latch around his broad shoulders, fingers tracing over the muscles of his arms until they meet at the base of his neck. “However you want,” you purr, pulling him closer until your bodies are aligned, the warm heat of his frame over yours. You kiss the spot beneath his ear once before he trails his lips down.

Jungkook mouths against your shoulder, lips tracing over the juncture where it meets your neck. “Hm,” he hums, taking a tiny sliver of skin between his teeth. “And if I said I wanted it hard?”

His proposal is followed by a slow roll of his hips against your throbbing core, the same dick you had just choked on gliding along your folds. You whimper, toes curling as the pleasure washes over you. Every ridge, ever vein of his hardened cock runs along your sensitive folds, reminding you of the aching flame inside of you. “Th-That’s fine,” you pant, leg lazily thrown over his hip. His hands trail over your waist, collecting your t-shirt as they move up your body until it’s pushed over the swell of your breasts.

When the material is finally discarded off to the side, leaving you in that flimsy bra Jungkook that snaps off, he strikes again. His tongue laps over your collarbone first, pouty lips ghosting over the skin as he makes his way to your breast. He takes one hardened peak into his mouth, drawing a shaky inhale from you. He rolls it between his teeth, tongue flicking the sensitive nub as you squirm beneath him.

Eventually he pulls away with a wet pop. Jungkook smirks, a soft puff of air fanning over your newly bruised skin. “Aren’t you the prettiest little thing.” He pushes away from you with one strong arm, looking down at you with an unreadable expression on his face. “Watch the movie,” he says.

You blink. “Huh?”

Before you know it, he’s tugging you back up onto your feet. He pushes you around, nearly sends you toppling over the coffee table as he positions you to his liking. “Kook!” you exclaim, palms slapping down against the glass tabletop in an effort to catch yourself. Just barely, your reflection glares back up at you.

A tap against your pussy startles you from the sight. “Wha—“

Two hands grab onto your biceps, tugging you up forcefully until your back arches, leaving you bent at a ninety degree angle before him. “Look, sweetheart,” he coos against your ear, voice deep enough that it vibrates through every bone in your body. Your breath stutters in your throat, exhilaration blossoming in your chest. “It’s your favorite movie.”

It is in fact your favorite movie, the same one you had fought tooth and nail just moments prior to watch. On screen, the two damsels are exploring new things in their lives, just how you were experiencing Jungkook’s true intensity for the first time. “It is,” you quietly confirm, back aching from the position.

Jungkook either doesn’t care about your depleting strength or really trusts in you not to faceplant onto his glass coffee table, palms sliding down to the crease of your elbows to hold you. “Tell me what it’s about,” he says

Just as the words leave his mouth, something hard and wet prods against your folds. “Oh,” you cry, fists tightening into balls as the feeling overwhelms you. “Jungkook, please.”

One elbow is let go, and the abrupt release has you scrambling to catch yourself, your glass reflection coming a little too close. This becomes even more difficult when a hand suddenly strikes down hard against your ass, a startled yelp escaping you. Just as quickly as you were released, Jungkook wastes no time snatching your back up, yanking you back until your cunt runs along his cock again.

“C’mon, pretty, thought you knew better,” he sighs playfully.

“I’m sorry,” you whimper, chest heaving with every slow roll of his hips. Your pussy was sopping, desperate to be filled with something. It was even worse knowing his dick was right there, just inches outside of where you need him most. “I’m sorry, Daddy,” you repeat.

Jungkook chuckles, and your heart backflips when he finally begins lining himself up. “It’s okay,” he assures you, in that same gentle tone he uses when you accidentally shove the wrong food down the sink disposal. “Baby’s still learning,” he says, pressing a chaste kiss against your shoulder as he begins pushing himself in. Just the head of his cock proves to be a struggle, swollen tip stretching your entrance wide. There’s an extra sting today from your half-hearted preparation, the both of you relying solely on your own arousal and excitement to let him in. It’s a nice kick.

When he finally pops past that initial tightness, you swear you could transcend into another dimension from the absolute feeling of euphoria that washes over you. “Fuck,” you mewl, fighting against his tight hold. Your efforts are in vain, ultimately choosing to drop your head down as the ecstasy continues to wash over you with each inch he offers you.

A warning squeeze around your wrist. “Language,” Jungkook reprimands, though his voice is strained and light.

You nod mindlessly, toes curling against the wooden floor. “It-It feels so good,” you whine. Your knees wobble dangerously beneath you, until you’re swaying just the slightest bit.

He gives until there’s nothing left, the soft hairs around his dick tickling your lips as he reaches the hilt. “There we go,” he grunts, giving you one final tug to make sure this is as far as he can go. You squeal, the brush against your walls making you ridiculously high. “That’s my girl.”

The praise has your stomach tightening, the pretty images flashing across the screen completely lost on you. You felt so full. The two of you rarely did it like this, without looking at each other straight on, but there was something about Jungkook’s looming figure being distorted by your brain’s memory, his touches wild and unpredictable, that made something inside of you twitch.

“Ohhh,” you whimper, muscles going slack for the briefest moment. The only thing that saves you from falling over is the killer grip on your forearms; when he tugs you up his cock runs along your pulsing walls. “Please, Daddy,” you beg, mouth feeling a thousand times heavier.

“The movie,” he repeats, slowly beginning to pull away from your clenching heat. You moan. “Tell me what it’s about,” he husks, punctuating his seemingly innocent statement with a harsh snap of his hips.

You wail, stumbling forward at the intensity. Still, it’s just a taste of what he has in store for you. He soon picks a pace, not too rushed or slow, as you struggle to keep your eyes open. “I-I don’t know,” you choke out, the images flashing across the gigantic screen practically unrecognizable to your muddled thoughts.

Behind you Jungkook tuts at your incompetence, thrusting forward with an intensity that would have sent you flying if not for the grip he has on you. “You don’t know?” he huffs, tugging your elbows back again as if to secure his grip on you.

His hips are moving fast now, every piston into your warm heat making you tremble. “Fffuck,” you gasp, eyes rolling to the back of your head as he continues ramming his cock into your pulsing hole. You’re met with a harsh yank that pulls you snugly onto his cock, your entire body screaming at the way he nudges against your cervix. Despite the pleasure it gives you, Jungkook seems anything but pleased.

“C’mon,” he huffs, twisting your arms painfully behind your back. “What did we say about that dirty mouth?” His question is followed with a snap of his hips that makes you choke on your spit. “Need you to be good for me, baby,” he groans.

“I-I am good,” you weakly defend, head hanging down limply as you fight to regain some semblance of your senses. But everything feels too much, from the rough push of his hips to the tight grip on your arms. His cock pulls out nearly all the way each time, swollen tip the only thing stopping him. Every thrust makes you quiver, every touch makes you melt.

You suppose he’d been too lenient on you up until now, and that final claim makes him snap. Jungkook scoffs, ramming his dick inside of you. “You’re being fucking terrible right now, doll,” he admits, hammering into you like a crazed man. You sob, the coil in your belly tightening with every brutal shove of his cock. It’s something about the way his composure withers away, all sweetness melting off as he thrusts into your cunt. “I’ve asked you twice now what the damn movie was about, and you didn’t answer either time.”

A hand clamps around your throat suddenly, yanking you up right until his breath fans across your ear. You’re not sure when your eyes had become so teary, but the images flickering across the screen are a foggy mess you couldn’t decipher even if you tried. “__,” he rasps against your ear, his voice scratchy. “Tell me. Now.”

You whimper as he shoves his way back inside, the angry head of his cock testing you. “T-Two girls, one’s a princess,” you cry, knees wobbling as the feeling in your core grows. “They look alike, and-and…”

“And?” Jungkook asks as you trail off, his words followed by a particularly brutal surge of his hips. His cock glides against your walls easily despite the way you clench around him.

“A-And they have problems they wanna avoid,” you stammer, the plot slipping in and out of your mind with every roll of his cock into your core. “So-so they swap places.”

Behind you, Jungkook snorts. “What a stupid fucking movie,” he says meanly, before he begins to piston his cock into you. You’re trembling by now, your orgasm looming over your head with each thrust.

Before you can warn him, the thin string holding you together snaps, the sudden flood of relief making your knees buck dangerously. Jungkook barely has enough time to catch you around the waist, holding you against him as a litany of curses and his name come spewing out of your mouth. “No, no,” you wail, your entire body twitching as the orgasm rolls over you. “Kook— Jungkook!”

“I’ve got you,” he reassures you, fingers holding you tight around the waist. The coffee table you had feared cracking your skull on finally comes to use as you press your hands onto the surface in a feeble attempt to steady yourself.

“I’m sorry,” you whimper, faintly aware of the rock hard cock between your pulsing walls, probably drenched in your cum now. “I-I didn’t—“

He shushes you quickly, settling the two of you back onto the couch. Funnily enough, he doesn’t bother pulling you off of him, his dick snug inside your cunt as he seats you on his lap. “You’re alright, sweetheart,” he comforts, hands soothingly running up your sides. You want to protest, want to get back on your knees and give him another chance to cum all over your face, but Jungkook nudges your chin with a knuckle. “Watch your movie,” he croons.

The Princess and the Pauper is literally the last thing on your mind right now; didn’t he realize how much you wanted to please him? Why was he choosing now to be so stubborn? Oh, that Jeon Jungkook, maybe Doyeon was right to call him an airhead.

Your slander campaign against your boyfriend is cut short when a hand flutters over your mound, thumb idly tracing over your sensitive clit. Before you can turn and look at him, Jungkook is rutting his hips against you slowly. “The screen, baby,” he says, and you want to argue that you can’t possibly enjoy a movie with him being so sneaky beneath you. The words get washed away when he presses down on your clit.

“Koo— Daddy,” you whine, lower lips still trembling from the orgasm you had two minutes ago. Jungkook responds with a kiss against your shoulder, hands trailing around your waist.

“No more of that,” he mumbles as he begins bouncing you on his cock. You moan, every inhale cut short by the shallow thrusts of his cock into your delicate walls. “Just your Kook now.”

“My… Kook,” you pant dreamily. Your cum provides an even better lubricant than before, lewd squelches filling the area alongside your cries as Jungkook chases both your second orgasms.

“Mhmm,” he groans, jostling you over his lap with no rhythm whatsoever. “Yours, baby.” You stretch your hands back, carding one set of fingers through the hair above his ear, pushing the strands away from his face. “Just like you’re mine.”

Something inside of you tightens painfully, and you’re not sure if it’s your heart or your pussy. You guess it’s both, as you stutter out, “y-your pretty girl?” Jungkook hums in agreement, repeating your favorite nickname back to you. The rest of your words die out between the two of you, lost in the slow and soft movements that fill in. You want to tell him you love him, adore him like no other, but every breath of air is stolen away by him.

Eventually the two of your are cumming, your second orgasms much quieter and slower compared to your first. You still mewl, wither against him when you cream his cock, and Jungkook catches you all the same. He guides you through the fog with kisses against your jaw, your dripping pussy helping him through his own.

When all is said and done and you’re both basking in a post-orgasmic make-out, you realize how sweaty and icky you are. “Ugh, this is gross,” you pout as he wiggles you off his lap. He pushes you beside him, letting you flop over the length of the couch as he reaches for something to clean you up with.

“You’re gross,” he retorts softly, blinking in that slow, drawn out way he does when you know he’s sleepy. His t-shirt runs along your neck, collecting the sweat there.

You nudge him with your foot. “I’m not the one who wanted to fuck during a Barbie movie,” you scoff, pinching the skin on his forearm when his gaze lingers a second too long on your creamy pussy. “Look somewhere else, weirdo.”

Jungkook laughs quietly, looking at you with an adoring expression on his face. He doesn’t even finish cleaning you off, tossing the soiled shirt somewhere off to the side in favor of cuddling into you. “Where? My Jumbotron?” he teases, raining down a parade of kisses against your face. “Don't wanna,” he smiles, too soft and boyish for the words that leave his lips next. “Wanna lick your pretty pussy clean.”

“Jeon Jungkook,” you scold, covering your face with your palms in embarrassment. “Look at your stupid IMAX screen and leave me alone.”

He cackles loudly now, in that evil witch way it took him a while to show you, and you know he’s got that big silly grin on his face now. . “The IMAX screen? The same one that made you,” a pause, “climax?”

“Get off of me.”

——

Just as you predicted, Jungkook’s mom gives him the scolding of a lifetime when she drops by the next weekend. The poor woman nearly faints at the theater screen on the wall, only to quickly regain herself. You giggle from your spot on the couch as she whacks his stupidly ripped bicep with the leek you’re supposed to chop up for dinner later.

What you’re not expecting is for her anger to shift to you as she scolds you for letting her idiotic son make such purchases. She gets one playful thwack against your side with the leek before your charming idiotic boyfriend swoops in to save you.

——

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