#also ignore the whole set up thing lmao I felt like the quote just didn’t make sense without it

[made-my-peace-with-all-the-bad]

On Friday in my gov and econ class, the teacher was having everyone list things and he got to one kid and the kid said something and the teacher said that it was good but it sort of goes with another and a different kid said that “it’s exactly the same thing, ___ just wanted to use a big word” and I think that’s very Steve and Pony coded

[kaitsawamura]

would you like to stay forever?

SUMMARY⎮   Sparring with Pro Hero Kirishima Eijiro in his private gym at his home doesn't seem like a bad idea if you don't count the fact that you really, really like him.

STATS⎮ minors do not interact, 18+ ⎮  Rating: M (for mature)  ⎮  WC: 5525  ⎮   Pairing: Pro Hero Kirishima Eijiro x Fem!Reader  ⎮   Tags: Aged Up Character(s), Friends to Lovers, Sparring, Smut, Fluff, Age/Experience Gap (if you really squint)  ⎮  AO3

NOTES⎮  Thanks to @spacelabrathor​ for listening to me scream about this and to @some-kindofgnome​ for fueling my Kiri fever dreams.  Yes, that title is based on a Mulan quote. This whole fic was based on THIS POST and Kirishima seemed like the perfect character for this pwp.  Hope y'all enjoy!  (Also please for the love of God, click on the banner to see in HD if you’re on mobile, it looks so much better lol)

It was Saturday and even though you’re on your way to becoming a Pro Hero, you can think of several things you’d rather be doing with your one day off than going to Kirishima Eijiro’s house to spar.  But here you are pulling into his driveway, going over combat moves in your head as if your life depended on it.  They weren’t really serving their purpose which was to distract yourself.  Kiri had offered up his personal gym, encouraged you to stop by with one hand in his pocket and the other rubbing the back of his neck as if he was nervous.  

A couple of his friends had already taken him up on the offer.  You were the only one he’d offered who hadn’t come over yet.  He had texted you a couple of weeks later saying he was starting to take it personally…  and then immediately texted with a laughing emoji just to clarify he was only giving you a hard time.  It brings a smile to your face now as you remember it.  Yesterday he had also clarified it would just be the two of you if you were self-conscious sparring in front of other people.  You’d have the whole place to yourselves.  Like that should mean something.  Which it did.  It does , you realize with butterflies growing in your stomach.  Kiri doesn’t need to know that though.

The two of you had been toeing around something since you had been hired at Fatgum’s Agency a year ago.  Neither of you had made a move.  Kirishima, the Red Riot, was a big Pro Hero and while you took pride in your quirk, it didn’t hold a coin to some of the others you’d come in contact with.  It had surprised you when Toyomitsu had brought you on.  But he had mumbled something about “liking your spunk” and that he thought a teleportation quirk would be a useful one to add to his agency.  The first day you had shown up, Kiri had immediately caught your eye.  Not for the obvious reasons.  Obvious reasons being the fact that he was climbing the Pro Hero charts or the fact that he had a dynamically interesting quirk or that at twenty-five he was already built like a brickhouse. 

Those were all valid reasons, yes, but what had pulled you in was his smile and his genuine interest in you outside of your quirk.  But he was just like that you had quickly discovered.  He knew everyone’s coffee order and what they liked for lunch.  He knew when to push and when to back off.  He knew when to talk and when to listen , knew when he still had a lesson to learn.  The kids flocked to him.  Even now you’re still entirely convinced that’s actually his quirk, getting people to like him.  It’s not a difficult thing to do though.

Your brain stutters back to the present when a text notification pings from your cell phone as you sit in Kiri’s driveway, picking at non-existent lint on your gym shorts.  The cute ones you’re still convincing yourself were your only clean pair and that’s the only reason you wore them.

KIRI : i saw u pull up, u gonna come in or what 😂

Had he been waiting for you to get there?  You tapped out a quick response, one that hid the little flip in your stomach at the thought: creeper, you were watching for me lmao

Response bubbles immediately flash on your phone screen but you’re angling out of your car and shutting the door before he can reply.

Somehow, this house fits Kiri perfectly.  It isn’t big.  You had seen pictures of other top-ranking Pros’ houses.  Enji Todoroki’s house, for example, was fucking ridiculous.  But even without a massive floor plan, Kiri’s house is nicer than any you’d been in for some time.  Clean, straight lines and lots of windows.  In fact, you can see straight through the floor-to-ceiling windows out to his backyard when you reach the front door.  Is that a pool ?  Kiri had tons of fun showing pictures at the agency; it was a well-deserved investment for his already multiple years of service as a Pro.  The pictures hadn’t done the place justice though.

Kiri comes to the door, throwing it wide open with a huge grin that shows off his sharp teeth.  You ignore the way your mouth goes dry as he drags you in, babbling on like an excited little kid at you actually coming.

“I really thought you were gonna back out!  I mean, that would have been fine, of course.  I just can’t see the point of having the whole place to myself all the time.”  He’s irresistibly cute, walking around showing you the living room and the kitchen and pointing out to the backyard where, yes, there is indeed a pool.  “You can come over any time and use that too if you want!”  You thank him, warmth pooling in your stomach at how incredibly nice he is.

“Uh, we should probably get in the gym.  I have… stuff to do later,” you finish lamely.  You don’t have anything to do later but very quickly you’re realizing how far out of your depth you are here.  The familiar beginnings of the head over heels fall is washing over you in steady waves.  But you’re coworkers and the thought of coming to work every day and having to see his adorable face and not doing anything about it is almost making you nauseous.

“Oh, yeah, it’s just down the hallway,” he rumbles, leading the way and you follow trying and failing miserably to calm the nerves flashing through your veins.  You’re here alone with Kiri , the man you’ve been crushing on since you’d started working with him a year ago.  And now your stupid brain isn’t just thinking about what it would feel like to run your tongue along his teeth or how his hands would feel between your legs.  No, your stupid brain is thinking about what Kiri looks like when he first opens his eyes in the morning.

Your one-track mind is not getting any help, especially when Kiri walks through the doorway of the gym addition and immediately proceeds to pull his shirt up and over his shoulders and tosses it to the side.  Shit.  His back muscles ripple with the movement and when he turns to face you, it’s heart-wrenchingly obvious that he has no idea the effect he’s having on you.  He has to know .  Doesn’t he?  From your end, it seems wildly obvious that someone as good-looking as him should know .  

You glance around, eternally grateful for the fact that the gym is also attractive.  Floor to ceiling windows span two of the walls here as well and there’s a large set of French doors leading out to the yard.  You find yourself actually in awe when you get a better look at the landscaping.  It’s so green .  There’s a small patch of lawn but the rest is just artfully arranged native flora and fauna.  Violets, tulips.  Huge hosta plants.  And cherry trees heavy with their signature sakura blossoms.  

“Kiri, it’s beautiful!”  He comes to stand beside you, looking out the French doors as well.

“You like it?  I guess it is pretty nice, huh?”  You glance up at him, your chest expanding on a lurch looking at his smile.  You’d never noticed before but he has a light dusting of freckles across his nose.

“Yeah, really nice.”  You look out again, letting the silence grow until it feels like the most comfortable thing in the world.  After what seems like an eternity Kiri clears his throat, rocking back on the balls of his feet.  “What are you thinking for today?”  The question leaves your lips and you’re immediately regretting it; your stomach flips again when Kiri looks at you like you’re prey.

“Close combat, hand-to-hand combat.  You did mention a while ago you wanted to strengthen that, right?”  You throw your head back, rolling your eyes, and groan.  The two of you make your way to the center of the mat.

“Yeah, I mean, I’d be scared to take me on too,” Kiri says, large hands on even larger hips.   He isn’t as tall as some of the other heroes at six foot three inches but he’s wide , thick.  You know for a fact you couldn’t wrap your arms around his waist and have your hands meet.  He’s wearing the biggest shit-eating grin you’ve ever seen.  The sharpened points of his canines are out and on prominent display.   Famous last words you think as a snarl erupts on your face.

“I’m not scared , Kiri.  I just don’t want to wear you out .  You’re a Pro Hero.  You’re on the job a lot more than I am.  Plus, you’re getting kind of old.  Is that a little gray I see coming in?”  Kiri bares his teeth even more but it’s not lost on you that he quickly reaches up to rake his fingers through his hair.  There isn’t any gray, obviously , but the thought has Red Riot distracted.  Distracted enough that when you plant your feet and your fist connects with his face, your knuckles hit skin and not the reinforced rock of his quirk.

“ Shit.”  Kiri takes a step back, reaching up to cradle his jaw.  His tongue swipes out to lick at the blood on his bottom lip.  His vermillion eyes find yours and if you didn’t work with him on a regular basis, you would have felt fear at this moment.  You know he wouldn’t hurt you but even now, a thrill races through your veins like electricity.  He looks as if he’s going to devour you.  You take your own step back, readying your quirk, reaching out to it as your fists hold their position in front of your body.  A dark chuckle spills from his chest as Kiri calls on his own quirk.

Now it was your turn to be distracted; you had always been fascinated by Kiri’s quirk, the way his body looked when it hardened up.  The ripples of muscle still visible under the toughened skin.  The divots and ridges and how they mapped their way across his shoulders and chest and abdomen.  You knew how it felt to the touch in fake combat.  The Fatgum heroes all took pride in maintaining a healthy routine; sparring was a common workout that was previously done at a local public gym.  You wonder absently what it would feel like to touch him slow and at the moment.  When you could give extra attention with extra time. 

Kiri closes the space between the two of you at the moment your mind strays and you barely are able to teleport out of the way to avoid him crashing into you.  You try to take a swipe at him as you materialize from in front of him to behind but this time he’s ready for you and he’s using his quirk.  Instead of moving out of the way, he plants his feet and allows your punch to hit.  Pain radiates up through your fingers and wrist.  It always irritated you that you had to prepare yourself to strike Kiri when he was using his quirk.  Otherwise, you’d be in for a whole lot of hurt every time you landed a punch.

Teleportation is a pretty handy quirk.  It gives you a pretty good advantage the more you work on your close combat skills.  The trick with Kiri was to keep going at him until he ran out of energy.  You hadn’t gotten to that point yet; your quirk had its limits as well.  You were only two years out of UA, Kiri was out by seven.  His strength was already fairly unmatched; sparring with him was always good practice.  You relish the thought of the day you can win a sparring session without tapping out.  It surges through you like pure energy.  

You teleport to stand in front of him again, shifting your weight into your hips and up through your right hook.  This time your fist connects with Kiri’s side and he lets out a small grunt.  Your fingers don’t hurt so bad this time and by the time Kiri is retaliating, you jump back a few feet.  He hmms, a sound that reverberates from his chest.

“That’s all well and good but how do you expect to do anything if you jump that far away?”  He lunges forward at a running start, leaping at the last second, sending his gloved fist into your stomach.  You were fast, but still not always fast enough.  You double over, the air rushing from your lungs and your pre-workout protein smoothie threatening to exit back the way it went in.  Sweat is already beading on your brow and sliding under your tank top.  You take a few breaths through your nose when an idea pops into your head; you stay bent over.  “Hey, I didn’t hit you that hard.  You good?”  

Kiri comes to stand in front of you, leaving him vulnerable.  He can’t see your smirk until it’s too late.  You wail on him, using some of the basic combos he’s taught you before today.  Satisfaction rolls through you when he actually takes a step back.  But then he puts his arms up in front of him, clenching his abdomen and bending inward to protect his core.  He drops just a fraction and before you realize what’s happening, he’s swiping his leg out to push through yours.  You watch in slow motion as you see his laughing face then the ceiling of the gym as you flip and land on your back.

If you thought you were out of breath before…  “Fuuu-.”  It’s a wheeze that feels like it’s ripping your chest open.  You’re seeing stars.  Kiri stands over you, hands on his hips again.  You stare at his face; the hero has his hair pulled back into a bun.  You snort, rolling your eyes.  Why does he still look so fucking good?  The sweat has caused some of the pieces falling out of his hair tie to curl.  His hair has curl to it?  You’ve never noticed before, considering he always gels it into spikes.  You like the curl.  “Are you--are you gonna help me up, or what?”  It was still painful to talk.

Kiri tilts his head to the side, just slightly, and crosses his arms.  “I’m thinking not.  Last time I let down my guard you got those good combos in.”  You stare in stunned silence, sitting up so you’re supported by your elbows.  Kiri shifts slightly and if you didn’t know better, you’d say he’s backing up to… get a better view.   

“Is that any way to treat your student,  Red Riot?”  You know you get under his skin when he clicks his tongue against his teeth and holds out a hand with a begrudging eye roll.  He pulls you up with ease, quickly enough that you almost lose your balance, swaying into his space.  You look up, eyes moving back and forth between his.  

He draws in a breath and drags his bottom lip between his teeth.  “First of all,” he says as he places his hands on your upper arms, “I’m not your teacher.  I’m not that much older than you.  Secondly,” he mutters as he tucks a stray lock of hair behind your ear, “our relationship isn’t that formal is it?”  He’s so fucking close.  This is getting dangerous.  Dangerous because Kiri is within kissing distance.  Dangerous because this gentle side of him is making you lose more breath than falling on your ass.  Dangerous because the thought of Kiri taking you on the floor right now is almost too much to bear.  

So you fall back on what you’re here to do.  Fight.  You flash him a wicked smile before rallying your quirk and teleporting a few feet away.  His hand is still raised in mid-air and when his head whips to look in your direction, his crimson eyes are narrowed and his nostrils are flared.  He laughs and rolls his neck, dancing on his toes.

“Okay.  I see.  I’m not gonna go easy on you, you know?”  You snort and put your fists up in front of you again.

“As if you were going easy on me before, Kiri.  Bring it on.”  He smiles, the sharp points of his teeth enough to make your thoughts swerve again before you bring them under control.  “Bring it on,” you whisper more to yourself as you brace for the fight.

Two hours later, you feel the strain in your muscles.  Your quirk is running low on reserves and you know you won’t be able to use it much more.  Kiri looks like he hasn’t wasted a breath but you can see he’s getting tired in the way his feet don’t move as sharply.  And if the length of time he’s using his quirk is any indication to his state of mind, you know the two of you will be calling it a day soon.  But you’re also both stubborn.  And you’re dying to get one more good move in on him.

The cockiness the two of you had at the beginning of the sparring session hasn’t gone away but has burned hot into determination.  No more smiles, only clear-headed concentration.  The two of you are an arm's length from each other, throwing various punches and switching quickly between using your quirks and not.  You’re breathing hard, sweat gathering at your brow as you throw another right hook that Kiri easily blocks.

“Get out of your head.  You can be too predictable sometimes.”  He doesn’t mean for it to come across as rude but the words strike a match to a guttering fire.  You bare your own teeth at Kiri even though they aren’t sharp and probably don’t look nearly as threatening but it helps you feel powerful nonetheless.  You drop without a second thought, lowering to your palms and sweeping your leg out in front of you in a wide arc.  A grin spreads across your face when your calf meets Kiri’s ankle.  He’s too physically dense for this move to work if he had seen it coming.  But he doesn’t.  And his solid 220 pounds of muscle falls hard.  

You allow yourself the satisfaction of the moment for only a split second; Kiri’s recovery time is much shorter than yours so it isn’t long before he’s scrambling forward.  He goes straight for your wrists to subdue you but with a smirk, you realize in his haste he’s put himself in the perfect position for you to possibly gain the upper hand.  You scoot up away from him just enough to drag his arm forward and swing your legs around his neck.  Then you elevate your hips and lock your core.

It’s over from there as you squeeze with every last ounce of strength left in your body.  It doesn’t take long for him to tap out.  You release as soon as you feel his loose hand tap your arm; he collapses over you and you’re too tired to move away or push him off.  Now his breathing is rough and you feel a surge of pride.  You reach up and place your hand on his head where his bun has come undone; he’s so heavy but it doesn’t feel bad.  In fact, the feel of Kirishima resting his head and upper chest on your stomach is feeling nothing short of good .  He’s still between your legs and suddenly the air is crackling with a new kind of energy when you gently comb your fingers through his hair.

He rises up, his hands on either side of you.  His hips rest between your legs; the mingled heat radiating from both of you is almost more than you can take but there is no way you’re going to move anywhere.  He leans forward, so close you can see the flecks of burnt orange in his eyes.  If you moved forward just a little, you could close that space between you.  He leans down more, his mouth right next to the shell of your ear.

“Maybe not always predictable.  You did good today.  Probably some of the best fighting I’ve seen from you so far.  Keep it up.”  He grunts, a shift of his hips allowing the curve of his cock to brush against your clothed sex through his gym shorts.  He stiffens in what you think might be embarrassment.  “Shit, sorry, let me just, uh--”  The stuttering mess he becomes right before your eyes makes something lurch in your chest; you reach for his face without thinking.

“Kiri,” you whisper, rolling your own hips against his.  His cheeks are burning a shade of red almost as vibrant as his hair.  You bring up your other hand, holding his face between them and bringing him down to settle over you once more.  Your lips meet his; he seems to war with himself for just a moment.  A suspended second in time.  But then he gives in, slipping his tongue against yours in a delicious sliding vision of what’s coming.

He reaches between you to slip his hand under your tank top; his hand is big and nearly encompasses your side.  But it’s warm and gentle.  Gentle.  Who would have guessed that Red Riot could be so fucking gentle?  But he is and when his hand moves lower to slide below the hem of your shorts, you give yourself to him with no reservations.  His middle finger passes through the mess of your sex; a hissed breath rattles through his chest as your back arches on a ragged groan.

“ Shit.  You’re so wet .”  He slides his finger back and forth, gathering your slick on the thick digit.  He takes his hand away and you mewl.  “Can I?”  He asks breathlessly as he hooks his hands on the hem of your shorts.  You nod, eyes half-lidded.  He pulls them down along with your underwear and the way he looks at you, at what’s between your legs, you don’t even have the wherewithal to feel self-conscious.  Adoration.  It’s the only word you can think of and it makes you wonder if you’d made a mistake waiting so long.

He’s on his knees when he takes your legs and drapes them on either side of his hips; this time he doesn’t hesitate in slipping his finger into your cunt.  You nearly see stars just from that and if one finger is any indication, you’re in for it.  Slowly, he adds another, his hand pumping into you in a steady rhythm.  You’re grabbing for the ground, grabbing for him as a strangled noise pushes from your throat.  He reaches out with his other hand to splay it across your sternum and it’s the only thing anchoring you as he adds the third finger before scooting down to put his mouth on your clit.

“ Kiri,” you keen, shoving your hips into his touch, frantically scrabbling for his wrist that’s on your chest just to have something to hold on to.  He’s done this before, he’s had to.  He’s too good.  Too fucking good.  Already there’s coiling in your gut as incomprehensible words tumble from your mouth.  “Shit.  Shit.  Kiri I’m--I’m gonna--”  He rumbles approvingly against your clit; the vibrations send you closer and closer to the edge and when it crests, your back arches near pain as you cry out, your voice echoing in the gym.  It’s deep, roaring through all of your limbs but  Kiri keeps going, fingers still pumping, tongue still swirling around your sensitive nub.

Another orgasm breaks over you sharp and quick and the overstimulation has your legs quaking as your arousal gushes over Kiri’s hand and tongue.  But then he’s moving again, and you’re blearily aware that he’s shoving his own shorts and boxers past his hips to free his cock.  You stare as it bounces back to sit near the planes of his stomach; it’s already leaking steadily with precum.  Kiri looks back at you and when your eyes meet, you dart your tongue out between your lips to wet them.  Another time, maybe.  

Kiri leans forward to lift you up and the closer you get you can barely see any red in his eyes; his pupils are blown, his nostrils flared as he lifts you like you weigh nothing .  He could snap you like a twig.  But he won’t.  You know without a doubt this is the safest you’ve ever felt, even as he lowers you slowly over his cock and it does feel like you’re being split .

“ Fuuuck…”  You wrap your legs around him, your mouth dropped open, your hands gripping his shoulders.  You try not to dig your nails in but it’s almost impossible with how you’re being filled.  You knew Kiri was big but this was almost too much.  His forehead drops to yours as he pants.  But he’s not moving, won’t move until you tell him to.  It makes your heart ache and your cunt floods, drunk on the affection thrumming through your veins.  You roll your hips experimentally and the friction is bliss.  “Oh fuck, ohfuck.”  You move again, pushing yourself up and back down, listening to the hitch in his breathing.  “ Kiri, please, ” you whisper.  Those words… they’re enough.

Kirishima grips you by the hips, his fingers splayed and digging into the flesh; it’ll leave bruises and the knowledge cracks through you like electricity.  Let him leave marks.  Let him leave them everywhere.  He’s moving you up and down his cock, grunting, mumbling.  “Tell me, Kiri, tell me.”  His eyes meet yours again and his own mouth drops open.

“Fuck, you’re so good.  S’ tight.  Jesus, I-- ” Kiri moves his hands from your hips to support you as he lays you down on the floor of the gym.  The idea should be questionable but it’s not, it’s fucking not and you can’t concentrate on any other thoughts when Kiri grabs your wrists and pins them gently above your head with one hand while the other comes back to your hip.  He thrusts into you at a brutal pace but… it feels like home and you think in that moment as your cunt begins to seize around his cock that you would give up forever to continue touching him.

“Yes, Kiri, yes.  Right there, right--shit yesyes yes. ”  He pistons up, the veins of his cock rubbing just right and when he releases the grip on your hands, they’re moving to wrap around him on instinct.  He’s planting kisses along your jaw, mouthing up to your lips and back down to graze his teeth over your pulse point.  “Do it, fuckin’ do it, let them know ‘m yours, ” you slur and when he bites down you crash over the edge on a groan that’s really more of a scream.  Everything goes black but you're cradling him to you as his movements become more erratic.  The snapping of his hips is getting sloppier by the second and a steady growl punches from his lungs with each breath.  “Cum, Kirishima, cum inside me.”

He’s never heard those words before and it lights a fire in his veins.  His head is buzzing and then he can’t hear anything as his cock releases and he’s spurting searing hot ropes of cum into your cunt.  He goes until you’ve milked every last drop from him and he’d be lying if he said his world didn't suddenly feel whole.  Finally, his body settles and his chest drops to yours.  Everything slowly bleeds back into focus and somehow, everything seems more colorful than it did moments before.  You’re still clinging to him.

“Kiri.  Kiri, babe, I can’t breathe,” you say and he slowly rises, taking in your blissed-out expression.  Your eyes can barely stay open, your cheeks are flushed.  He backs up to see his handiwork on display, hyper-focused on the trail of the mingling cum dripping from the mess of your sex.  But you’re smiling.  Lazy and tired, completely at ease.  “Wanna take a shower?”  When you nod he doesn’t hesitate in standing to kick his underwear and shorts the rest of the way off his legs and then he’s grabbing you, scooping you into his arms and against his chest.  He pads out of the gym and across the hall to his bathroom where he deposits you on your feet, only after he’s sure you can stand and only long enough to turn the shower head-on.

He puts his hand under the water, waiting for it to get warm.  Steam billows from behind the glass door when he’s turning back to you to remove your tank top and your sports bra.  Thank god you chose the front-closure one today; you didn’t think either one of you wanted to struggle to get one up over your head right now.  When your breasts spill out of the high-impact fabric, you notice with tender amusement that his cock is half-hard again.  His eyes go dark again and he leans in for a kiss.  But it's slow and sweet. 

"You're so fuckin' beautiful," he whispers.  He ignores his arousal, ushering you into the stream of water.  Your care is the only thing that matters to him right now.  The heat slides across your body, and when Kirishima steps up behind you and begins soaping up your shoulders, it feels like heaven .

You take turns washing each other until you’re both blissed out in a different kind of way and the only thing either one of you can think about is sleep.  But the afterglow is fading and doubt is creeping in.  When you step out of the water, you stand awkwardly as Kiri hands you a towel.  “You okay?”  He’s actually concerned and you can’t put your finger on why you’re so fucking grateful for it.

“Yea, just tired.  I should, uh, probably get going.”  Kiri freezes and you think you’ve said something wrong, already crossed a line.  Your brain is like a broken record as the stomach-curdling image of having to see him at the agency flashes across your eyes in vivid detail.  But then he’s stepping into your space and pulling you in for a hug.  A hug.

“Don’t go,” he whispers into the crown of your head and it has you smiling like an idiot against his chest.  His skin smells clean and warm with a hint of spice.  You bury your face further in as you nod against him.  Then he’s leading you to his room, to the king-sized bed.  He peels back the comforter and the white sheets and pulls you in beside him.  Your back is against him and he hooks his foot around your ankles, bringing you even closer.  

He doesn’t say anything more, just lets out a huge sigh as he wraps his arm around you.  The last thing you notice before your eyes flutter shut is how your heartbeats are thumping at the same steady rhythm.  

Late afternoon sunlight slants in Kirishima’s bedroom window, creating interesting patterns across his blanket.  It’s pushed towards the end of the bed, your legs intertwined and tangled in the sheets.  He’s still dozing, his breathing not quite that of someone sleeping but not of a person fully awake.  You reach out to cup his cheek, stroke above his eyebrows, caress his lips with your thumb.  A contented sigh leaves his chest as he grabs your hand and kisses your wrist.  His eyes are open now and he watches you.  You smile at him, snuggling closer, not wanting the moment to end.

“Hey,” he says quietly, suddenly serious.  “I just want you to know, I don’t do this all the time.  I mean, I’ve been with other people before but I don’t…  I don’t really hook up .”  Things start clicking into place as you realize what he’s trying to get across.  He just fucked you stupid in his personal gym and somehow he looks bashful.  And because you love it, you’re not going to help him along.  You just watch, biting your lip to keep from giggling.  “I just.  I guess what I’m trying to say is I like you.  I’ve liked you for a long time.  And normally I would have wined and dined you first but...  Well.  Here we are.  Would you like to stay for dinner?”

That’s the last straw; your laughter comes bubbling out of you and Kiri is leaning back to look at you with a quizzical expression on his face.  “Is something funny?”  That just makes you laugh a little harder but the confused look he’s wearing has you leaning in to press your lips against his.

“I’ve liked you from the first day I met you, Kiri.  I’ll one-up your offer and tell you that I might like to stay forever.”  A grin rips across his face and your heart blooms with warmth and affection.  The world seems full of possibilities but none of them matter except for the possibility laying right in front of you.

[inkbyajm]

Bottled Up

pairing: C.H. x fem!reader

category: angst, fluff

warnings: yelling, crying, insecurities

word count: 2.2k

notes: apologies for the tardy post, i wrote and rewrote and re-rewrote the whole angsty scene because i didn’t know if it was written well enough, i wanted to make sure you guys could feel the emotions that i vividly visualised and tried my best to put into words  :( i did send it to a friend to check and she seemed to like it, so let me know how it goes for you, my loves. the angst for this one was inspired by 2 different songs - hold me while you wait by lewis capaldi and i will run from you by cemeteries. it’s not necessarily about the lyrics, but more about the melody and the mood you get into listening to them (they go in order). give those a listen :) also, beware of the upcoming philosophy references, i did study philosophy last year, hopefully no one gets triggered lmao

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Is a person’s scent something a normal human being picks up on before taking into account the rest of their features? Would a normal human being remember said scent and be able to recognise it in a crowd full of strangers? Corpse wasn’t too sure about the answer, but one thing he did know, is that she smelled delicately sweet, like cherry blossoms, and that ever since he had noticed it during their game night a few weeks ago, he simply couldn’t let it go. It was intoxicating, but in a calming way. 

━

Corpse and (Y/N) each lay on their beds in their own homes, going into the third hour of their call. He couldn’t exactly fall asleep, so he had decided to see what his dear friend was up to, and even though she was this close to succumbing to sleep, she said nothing and stayed up to keep his busy mind company.

“Okay, hot topic: what do you think about soulmates? More specifically the romantic type?” the girl asked, not knowing how much of a risqué question it was. How was he supposed to answer?

“I don’t really have an opinion on it. Why?”

“I read Symposium by Plato the other day and it presented an interesting concept about human beings. Basically-” Of course she fucking read philosophical books. How were they even having a conversation with each other? Why were they even friends? She was on a whole other level of smart. “-so this guy says that humans were like androgynous blobs, so they’d come in two sets of everything a normal person has. But those humans were so powerful, the gods were literally shaking in their robes, so Zeus decided to cut everyone into two to weaken them. But then humans became so miserable, they spent their entire lives searching for their other halves. In the end, Zeus kinda felt bad and said fuck it, I’ll give y’all dicks and vaginas for every time you wanna hug each other. And that’s the oldest explanation there is about the idea of soulmates.” she sighed, finished with her rant.

“That was...not at all the story I expected to hear.” she heard him mumble on the other side of the call. “Yeah, Greek philosophers were up to some reeal freaky things, you would have loved them,” he laughed at her joke, “I honestly think it’s cute. Not the whole cutting people into two thing, but like, longing for someone and then finding them because you finally feel complete. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a strong independent woman who doesn’t need a prince in shining whatever to sweep me off my feet. But it does sound nice, that ideal comfort, a person you’re just...meant to be with, I guess.”

There was a moment of silence that neither of them really minded, before it was Corpse’s turn to ask the second bold question of the night. “Have you found that person yet? Your soulmate?”

She’s never thought about it before, but she hasn’t really thought about soulmates that much either, it was a spontaneous thought she had said out loud. “I’m not sure, actually. (B/F/N) could be one, I guess.” (Y/N) shrugged in return. Wasn’t she going to ask him about it? She probably didn’t care that much. Understandable.

“My favourite quote about love is «You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly.». It’s by Sam Keen, the American philosopher. It maay be the hopeless romantic in me shining through, but I do very much agree with his statement.” Did this mean anyone could have a chance with her despite their fuckups? So if he were to try, would she-?

“Obviously, there are some things that just can’t be ignored or avoided, but at that point it’s preferences and personal tolerance. Depends on the person, ya know?” she swiftly added, unaware of the effect it had on him. Sick. Some people were just meant to rot alone.

The final question was posed by (Y/N). She’d be lying if she said she wasn’t at all curious. This little crush of hers had been steadily growing with every hang out, every laugh, every hug and every glance. There are rarely ever moments where one could casually discuss a topic this personal with friends, at least there weren’t with friends one had feelings for. This was the perfect opportunity.

“Corpse?”

“Hmm?”

“Have you ever been in love?” her voice was soft, her approach gentle.

“Well, I’ve been in relationships before, so I guess, yeah? It’s been so long, I don’t even know what love feels like anymore.” he let out a breath resembling a chuckle. Lamest fucking answer ever. But it was true. He hadn’t thought about love in that way in quite a while.

“A lot of people describe it as having an intense range of overwhelming feelings. Lightheadedness, slight shakiness, heart palpitations, some people have even reported losing their appetite. Crazy how human bodies work, huh? Oh! Speaking of chemicals-”

She had continued on to ramble about...chemistry? Eyes? Corpse couldn’t really hear what she was saying anymore, let alone concentrate on her words, as he pieced everything that’s been happening for the past few months together. The nauseating feeling. The pounding of his heart so fast it felt like he was about to die. The urge to make as little eye contact with her as possible, because otherwise he’d turn into a furnace. The obsession with her perfume, like he was some fucking creep. The fool was falling in love. And it was at that moment that everything had come crumbling down.

━

(Y/N) and Corpse hadn’t talked for a couple of weeks. Or rather (Y/N) messaged the 23 year old many times, but he’d either claim to be busy or just not answer at all. There were two possible reasons for the sudden lack of contact: he was indeed busy with his musical projects and couldn’t allow himself to be distracted; or something much more serious was going on. It didn’t matter, for she was already in her car, on her way to his apartment.

Arriving at her destination, she used the spare key he gave her months ago, a sign of absolute trust, and allowed herself into his humble abode. Silence reigned in her friend’s residence. She thought maybe he had gone somewhere, and though that was unlikely, it wasn’t unprecedented. The door to his recording room was closed, and while she was tempted to check if he was in there, she refrained from doing so, knowing that specific room was not to be entered unless he was around to give permission.

“Corpse?” she called out just to make sure. There was no response for a few minutes, which made her assume she had the place for herself, until she heard a door open behind her. Turning around, she saw his figure emerge from said recording room in a white t-shirt and black sweatpants, his curly hair disheveled.

“Hey, how are you d-”

“Why are you here?” he spoke flatly, interrupting her. “Well- You weren’t, um, answering your messages or any of my calls, so I thought something had happened.” she replied, suddenly nervous, fiddling with the rings on her fingers. “Nothing happened. I told you I was busy.”

The air around them seemed colder as tensions rose. (Y/N) could tell he was irritated, but she couldn’t exactly figure out why. She had never seen this side of him before. “Okay. Tell you what, I assume you haven’t had dinner yet, so why don’t I go ahead and start cooking something up while you-”

“Get out.”

She blinked a few times, not quite registering the words that had just left his mouth. “Sorry?” Her voice was quiet. She was taken off guard.

“Are you deaf? I said get. the fuck. OUT.”

Corpse shouted the last word, making her flinch in what appeared to be fear. Good. Run away while you still can. Heart pounding, (Y/N) took a second to remind herself whom she was speaking to. “I see that you’re angry, but at least give me a reason why-”

“You want a reason? I just don’t fucking WANT you here!” Anger grew inside of him like a tumor, but it wasn’t intended for her. She had simply been caught in a storm that had been building up for years. “Do you understand that?! I can’t fucking be around you without feeling like I’m going to EXPLODE.”

His words hit her like paintballs. They were only words, plain and simple, but they dug deeper and deeper into her skin with each hit, until, eventually, it broke. Eyes burning, she felt the tears slowly welling up in them.

“Why are you doing this to me?!” her own voice grew louder with frustration, but mostly, confusion.

“Maybe because I can? Because I’m a goddamn asshole?” 

“Don’t say that.”

“How?! How can I not say it when it’s the truth!” He wanted to stop. His mind told him to cease whatever it was that he was doing. However, blinded with resentment towards himself, he only spilled words he would regret after it was too late. 

“I can’t function like a normal fucking human being. I can’t be a good friend, son, or whatever the fuck else, and I sure as hell can’t love you.”

The paintballs had turned into a singular sword. A very long, very sharp sword that had found itself plunged deep inside her chest. How did he found out? When? Had she been too obvious? Had she been pushy? Clingy? Way out of line? The woman before him was unable to conceal her shock, as tears came rushing down her hot cheeks. Her voice brittle, she tried defending herself. She couldn’t leave it at that. She had to try. Try to have him see reason. “You don’t love me, that’s fine. But you didn’t have to deliver it this way-”

“But I did.” breathless with fury, Corpse clenched his fists so tight they had turned cold, yet they were still trembling. “You can get so naïve and dumb, you won’t understand things unless they’re spelled out nice and fucking bold for you.”

He closed with (Y/N) until their noses nearly touched. He noticed the way she silently shook, her eyes which shed endless tears never leaving his gaze. Unable to make a single sound, she felt the man’s hot breath on her face, his aura domineering.

“Now get. out.”

Her body wouldn’t cooperate as she just stood there. Staring back at him, her inner brows raised. Corpse wanted to hug her. Envelop her trembling figure with his and tell her he was sorry, that he meant none of it, that he had lost his mind. But he couldn’t bring himself to do anything. And with his own tears threatening to spill, he created a distance between them. He needed her gone.

“Leave! GO!”

His yelling was enough to jolt (Y/N) out of her trance, and, in a hurry, she sprinted towards the entrance. The door closed behind her, she felt a sudden urge to fill her lungs with much needed air. She jumped at the resounding scream that emanated from deep within his soul, letting out all of his pent-up rage.

Feet carrying her all the way to her car parked outside of the building, the young woman managed to climb in, and this was the queue for her body to break down. The night was young. The street empty. No one around to hear her long-lasting wailing. She clutched the steering wheel for support, fingers wrapping around the leather in a tight grip. A headache was creeping up from the back of her skull. Her ears pulsated in response to the heavy pounding of her heart. Clumsily, (Y/N) inserted the key into the ignition, felt around for the gear stick, and drove away. She didn’t know where she was going or how long it was going to take to get there. She needed to get out.

What went wrong? When did it go wrong? She couldn’t help but feel guilty, feel at fault. She had never seen that side of him before. He had never treated her that way before.

It was the hugs, wasn’t it? He had to have noticed the way she held on for a second too long to enjoy the smell of his cologne. Her vision blurred as she resumed softly weeping, her salty tears staining her top. Or it might have been the touchiness, she would practically glue herself to him during their movie nights. Unaware of both her actions and surroundings, (Y/N)’s breathing quickened, becoming ragged. Maybe he didn’t like the way she called him three times a week. Her hands were slowly losing control over the wheel, over the vehicle she was driving. She invaded his privacy. That was definitely it. Fuck. How could she have been so damn blind, selfish, ignorant, FUCKING STUPID.

Lights. Something was moving towards her- MOVE.

With a sharp turn, she dodged the approaching car just by a hair’s breadth, but as she had avoided one accident, another came just as quickly. 

[inmyarmswrappedin]

Ages ago, I asked people to send me scenes they wanted me to compared across the Skams, and then I kinda ignored it. This wasn't intentional, but rather because I wanted to do the scenes in chronological order. And the one I got for s1 was the Eva/Jonas breakup scene.

The issue is that Jonas is a very misunderstood character in international fandom. I felt like I couldn't begin to compare the scenes without getting into the fundamental conflict between Eva and Jonas, and I couldn't do that without getting into why Jonas hates Russetide, and I couldn't do that without a long post that was going to swallow up whole the other 7 versions of the scene.

I've never really let go of the idea of doing those comparisons, even though the anons that sent the original asks are probably long gone. I thought of a bunch of different ways to approach the asks, but nothing worked for me. Until recently, where I just decided to first explain Russetide, then compare the different Skam opening speeches, and THEN I will finally compare the breakup scenes.

But instead of explaining Russetide itself, which I think most Skam fans more or less understand, I'm going to explain SJEIKEN 2015. This song perfectly encapsulates what Jonas hates about Russetide. In fact, he quotes it in one of the scenes where he's being a dick to Eva!

Russetide is a tradition in all of Norway, but western Oslo (where Skam is set) is one of the richest areas in the country and, as such, they really go above and beyond with it. A bus is better than a van, the buses have to be decked out with the best sound systems. The crew has to have not just hoodies but also headbands and other merch, and it all has to follow the theme the crew has chosen. And if you really are the hottest of hot shit, then you actually commission legit artists to write a theme song for your bus. We can see this in s2, where the girls discuss The Penetrators theme song.

There are a bunch of different Norwegian artists that you can commission for your Russe song, but the most famous are probably TIX and the Pøssy Project. The Pøssy Project is a group of multiple songwriters, but all of its members have chosen to keep their identites anonymous because, as it turns out, ~Norwegian adults~ think everything I'm about to explain is trashy and disdainful. The one artist in The Pøssy Project that has always owned his participation in it is Andreas Haukeland, better known as TIX. (You might also know him as this year's ESC entry for Norway.) Why does TIX stand by these songs? Idk, probably because they're extremely popular, chart well, and make money, and by standing by them, he gets to perform them in gigs and profit off those creations.

SJEIKEN 2015 has featured twice in Skam, first in s1e1. It's also the song Pepsi Max is singing when they party at Sana's place in s4. And SJEIKEN 2015 featured so prominently in Skam because the song became a runaway hit the year before (the 2014-15 school year), breaking into the Norwegian charts as well as Spotify most playeds in Norway. It is a tremendously popular song that people loved.

So, who or what is SJEIKEN 2015 about? SJEIKEN is a 2015 Russe crew (meaning they graduated high school in 2015) who chose to make their Russe theme about... oil sheikhs. That is what sjeiken means. The song itself is about an oil sheikh called Sheikh Yer Bouti who declares tonight to be free of rules. His 400 wives are allowed to get drunk and be whores, just for tonight. Here are the lyrics:

Now, TIX has recently tried to become a mature artist, and so he was recently asked about SJEIKEN 2015 (again, a song he performs to this day). This was his response:

At a party, I met a girl who was crying over a boy she liked. She had built up her expectations that this would be the night she finally hooked up with him, but she was afraid that if she did, the guys would call her "whore". I thought about it a bit… It's actually quite true - if a boy hooks 10 girls at a party he is a legend, but if a girl hooks up with only one boy she may risk being called loose. That's absolutely ridiculous! So I said to her, "Tonight you are allowed to be a whore. Tonight you are allowed to hook up with him.”

And like, I just want to say this response is horseshit, first of all lol. But in case you for some reason thought this was supposed to be like a feminist anthem for a girls' russe buss (a crew like Los Losers for instance), let me share a picture of the SJEIKEN Russe crew:

(Count the moc... Oh wait, there aren't any.)

SJEIKEN (the Russe crew) also participated at a Russe event back in 2015. Here is how they chose to stage their song:

(The one thing I can say about this is that the boy playing a niqabi doesn't appear to have taken it off at any point, which is better than Skam Italia did.)

At this point, you might think that perhaps Jonas might have reason to be appalled that Eva, who he assumed shared his values, decided to get involved in Russefeiring. However, one other thing about Russefeiring is that literally EVERY YOUNG PERSON in Norway is supposed to love all of this shit. My evidence is very anecdotal, but I once asked a Norwegian high school student how many people aren't involved in Russefeiring. He said everyone is, the only people who aren't are the friendless losers. I also came across a Norwegian young woman's blog who said she preferred talking to people from abroad, because she didn't have to explain to them that she never actually did Russe, because to admit she hadn't, would immediately show her to have been a total outcast in high school. Like, this is an issue for people into their twenties.

So Jonas isn't just taking a stance to be cool, the fact that he is vocally opposed to Russefeiring in every way makes him (and the boy squad) total losers. In fact, Chris Schistad referred to Jonas as a nerd and the boy squad plainly wasn't in William's radar at all. It wasn't a thing like in Skam NL, where Kes' squad was leagues and miles above Noah's squad in terms of coolness (MOTHERfucker... don't even try to tell me Gijs was cooler than Kes lmao). Jonas would've been seen as a loser and a burnout, and that's what Jonas was talking about when he told Eva that she was always doing the popular thing to do. Because he very staunchly refused to participate in this tradition, despite the fact that doing so made him an outcast, because, for him, THAT was the moral thing to do.

Having read all this (you poor soul), and being on tumblr like you are, is it really that unthinkable that Jonas would think that Russefeiring and the culture associated with it is crap? Do you really think a 16-year old has the nuance to say, "you know, Russefeiring stands for everything I hate, but since you're friendless because of me, and this is your chance at having friends, I will put my ideals aside and support you in this." Absolutely not lmao. How many of you would even now shit on friends if they stepped outside the line of what tumblr considers woke? How many people on twitter turn on each other for transgressions like stanning the wrong Skams? Jonas was shitty because he was super rigid in what he considered the right way to behave, but in that sense, he was actually one of the most accurate portrayals of a specific type of Gen Z. Unlike idk, characters who quote fucking Animal Farm to talk about school festivals.

(And NOW that all of that has been established, I can finally begin dissecting season 1 lol.)

[ironxkid]

why don't you like endgame or civil war

((hoo buddy, idk what brought this up but salt under the cut!! Like... a lot of salt - specifically regarding Endgame lmao

I’m gonna start off with CACW because it’s a short response lol

I don’t like it simply because I was done with the infighting between the Avengers. The found family crumbs we were given in Endgame was something I really wanted to see, and them just... ripping them apart frustrated me lol

honestly, the movie was... fine? Idk, I found it to be a lil slow for my taste (it felt like it just dragged on when I watched it in theaters), and I just don’t care for it in general  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Also, ngl, I’m really bummed that Captain America: Serpent Society was a joke announcement because that sounds dope as hell and I really wanted to see that before I realized it’d been a joke dfgjhdsfhj

but, yeah, literally just because CACW is specifically an infighting movie annoys me to no end so I just won’t watch it again dgsfjhsfdhj

now, Endgame?

fuck Endgame

I. have a lot of issues with it, all of which are major grievances throughout the fandom. I’m pissed they killed Natasha and didn’t even bother giving her a fucking funeral because, I quote from Joe Russo, “Well, Tony does not have another movie. Tony is done. And Natasha has another film. And Marvel Universe obviously does not have to move forward linearly anymore. But that character still has more screen time coming.” (see here) and that annoys the hell out of me. She’s getting another movie - great! So you killed one of the few characters doing her fucking best to keep everything together at the compound, the one who was taking charge, give her a big role, and then murk her and... give her nothing but a brief mention at the end. Like... what the fuck? Natasha deserved so much better than what she was given. Tony’s funeral could’ve (and, frankly, should’ve) been a funeral for him, Natasha, and Vision because god forbid we see anyone mourn Vision other than Wanda

(actually this post covers how Endgame fucked over the MCU women perfectly, though Wanda’s not mentioned :c )

plus... Tony’s not done lol - he’s still a massive figure in the films/shows despite RDJ not acting in them, so his character has left shockwaves that aren’t dying any time soon. Natasha... basically disappeared, and I believe she would’ve been dropped completely if it wasn’t for the fact she does have a film coming out soon. Which, frankly, seems awesome and all, but it’s a film that goes back to post-CACW pre-IW and... frankly doesn’t give me any reason to understand why that means she didn’t get a funeral. She’s not coming back in future movies/shows that are in present MCU timeline - her movie is set in the past. She could’ve gotten a decent sendoff 

now, Clint’s arc as Ronin rubs me the wrong way. I know it’s a huge thing in the comics, and it’s not him taking a different mantle that I have an issue with. It’s the fact he, a white man, went around murdering people and got off scot-free. Yes, he was targeting genuinely bad people, but... to show that, they specifically singled out Mexican cartels and the yakuza (Japanese mafia, essentially) - so, in other words, the bad guys were people of color! I feel like I don’t need to explain how fucked up that is. And, to clarify, I love Clint! Clint is honestly one of my favorite characters, and the whole thing was just handled... poorly in the film

Tony’s arc genuinely hurts. This is a man who has suffered for years and has tried to make things right, and finally got a chance to settle down. He finally retired from the Avengers, finally settled down, and had a fucking life he could enjoy despite his ghosts, and yet... His arc ends with a message of “tortured soul finally gets rest by dying”. Because, y’know, it’s great seeing yet another long-suffering character only reaching peace through death, because god forbid they let characters heal! He could’ve still caused the second Snap, and he could’ve survived. He could’ve finally been able to step away for good and focus on his family, focus on recovering, and be truly happy. What’s so wrong with letting him stay alive so he can rest and be with his family? What’s so wrong with letting a long-suffering character finally find peace after one last bang? 

plus it pisses me off that they’re now using him as a reasoning as to why bad things are still happening. Why is this person the bad guy? Because Tony Stark somehow may or may not have done something that hurt them! Even though most of that really stems from Howard or Obadiah. Tony just ends up getting the blame in their place. He’s just an easy target to use, much like the tesseract seems to be the go-to answer for why things go wrong. But this is a different train of thought

Steve’s ending pisses me off just as much as the next person lmao. You take a character who has acknowledged he no longer belongs in the past (which, funnily enough, was written by the Russos), aaaaaaand have him go back to the past while ignoring two important people in his life that were still right there. He got Bucky and Sam back, and he leaves them. His arc is ruined within a matter of minutes, and it paints a hella bad picture of him in the process. He goes back in time to stay with Peggy (which ultimately destroys her own arc, and the fact she’s a person outside of her relationship (or lack thereof) with him because, y’know, why have her be able to move on and be her own person?), and we’re supposed to believe he’s fine with everything he knows from the future? Fine with knowing Bucky’s trapped with HYDRA and is suffering as the Winter Soldier? Fine with knowing HYDRA has infested SHIELD from day one? Fine with knowing Howard and Maria are going to die? Fine with royally fucking up the timelines? We’re supposed to believe he sat back and did nothing with all of that? They could’ve had him still hand the shield over to Sam - they could’ve let Steve stay an Avenger without the mantle

also the fact the Russos said he didn’t recognize Red Skull when he returned to Vormir to return the soul stone? Like... what the fuck?? Not to mention he literally returns the stone to Vormir, which “soul for a soul”, and they didn’t bring Nat back that way??

and now onto Thor. Thor... holy fuck is this hitting something personal for me. Thor was ridden with guilt - he was furious with himself, hated himself, and blamed himself for failing to stop the Snap. He fell into a massive depression, and... was promptly danced around as laughing stock. Like, “oh! look at Thor! he’s fat and drunk because he’s depressed haha!” - like fuck off. It’s not funny in any form. His suffering was made into a joke and it pisses me off because I suffer from depression. A lot of people suffer from depression. It’s not funny. It’s fucking terrifying at times. I wasted a shit ton of money on a stupid online sim game because it was a distraction - it gave me... god, I wouldn’t even say temporary happiness, but it gave me something to temporarily help, and I still hate myself for doing it. It was a poor decision on my part, and I wish I could change it. And, during that time, I was scared because I couldn’t see myself pulling out of it. I thought I was gonna feel that way forever. I called out of work multiple times because there were days I couldn’t stop crying (something I still feel horrible for doing), I couldn’t get myself to contact any of my friends for months, and it was all because the medication I was on at the time... stopped working. Thankfully, my depression doesn’t work in a way that makes me a danger to myself, so that wasn’t an issue, but it still fucking sucked. And to see a character that I could relate to on such a personal level treated as laughing stock fucking hurt. I’m not sharing this for sympathy - I’m sharing this because it Thor’s arc hit home and it’s literally the main reason why I will not watch Endgame again

this is more of a nitpick than anything else, but... I didn’t really care for Carol in it tbh? Which is unfortunately because Captain Marvel is one of my absolute favorite movies! And I’m well aware she was introduced in Endgame while CM was being drafted, but that in itself is annoying?? Because Carol was originally going to be introduced in AoU, but was cut because it wasn’t going to introduce her character properly. And yet they decide to introduce her character in a clusterfuck of a movie before her movie is in the final stages, and proceed to release her movie first and then give a complete different characterization in her following appearance

honestly I just wanna cover this now to clarify some things regarding Carter and her backstory: the only reason I keep Endgame as is is because it felt easier for me to do so for the purpose of bending canon for specific threads. I wanted to stay as true to the given plots as possible to help with fudging of both the movies and her background, and also because I didn’t want anyone to feel like I was trying to force my own headcanons onto them, y’know? 

I’m just gonna plug this here because fuck it lol, but I did start a fix-it fic regarding Endgame that you can read here! I... probably won’t finish it tbh, and I haven’t gone over it in a hot minute so it might be riddled with errors ahah - plus I’m not sure about how I wrote the characters! I get nervous when writing canon characters because I feel like I’ll miss their characterization completely, which is actually why I,,, rarely rp canon characters dgfjhgsfdhj

also the image in the doc was created by @/archervale!! 

[tfw-no-tennis]

the animorphs continues, david trilogy style

here we are...we finally arrived....the david triology

I did remember a good amount of these books from when I read these when I was like 11. but I also forgot a lot an hooooly shit 

WHERE TF DO I EVEN START. so that shit slapped obvs. it really felt like the series has been leading up to this - all the characters have had to make really difficult no-correct-answers decisions, and it leads up to this - the ultimate shitty situation with absolutely no good, clear solutions, and everyone gets to contribute to the awful conclusion! 

one thing that really stood out to me is that with David's inclusion as this kind of ‘outsider’ within the group, even though none of it was from his POV, we still get a huge sense of the animorphs being an extremely well-oiled team, who all know and trust each other very well - especially w/Jake as the leader - Jake has to make a lot of decisions in these books but the other animorphs always listen to him 

this all probably didn’t help David, who was already thrown into a completely crazy situation, and who now has to deal w/this group of kid superheroes who work very well together. it also doesn't help that David doesn't really try to find his place on the team 

anyways I love how much wild shit happens in animorphs always. like they try to steal the blue box as birds and then David chases them off w/a bb gun? and then they end up in this huge alien showdown with visser 3 and his troops in David's house? batshit

also the hilariously 90s part w/the email...lmao. like its the 90s so there's no way to shut off the automatic email remotely, they HAVE to go to David's computer, and they also can just unplug it...lmao they should've just taken out the phone lines tbh

also I completely forgot about the whole plot w/the world leaders meeting and the yeerks and stuff. that really served to ramp up the tension and also make it obvious that David was an outsider as he consistently fucked things up then played it off

also KAA did a masterful job of making David juuuust a little sympathetic in book 20, but still Off enough that you're like ehhhh I don't know about this guy...then he goes full awful creep and it becomes obvious that there’s no way they’ll be able to let him stick around in any capacity 

the bit where David kills the crow for no reason is the first Real indication that this is gonna go seriously wrong. but even before all that, his conversations w/Marco gave me like, school shooter vibes 

these books are full of some REALLY good tension. the whole end of book 21 was so tense - they've been gearing up for this mission for days now, and they’ve had to do some crazy stuff to get where they are, so the realization that it’s all a trap is completely chilling 

and then when David tried to betray them to visser three...the gravity of that decision is unmistakable, because then the yeerks would find out that the animorphs are (mostly) human children, and they’d even know who they are, and that would be the end

I loved the part where David tries to act like he was just setting up an ambush w/his betrayal to the visser, and Jake immediately has everyone play along - and they do. earlier in the series someone - probably Rachel or Marco - likely would have ignored Jake bc of how slimy David was acting, but they've basically become a highly efficient military squad at this point, and it was a perfect slow slide into that over the last 20 books, and now is the time when the reader kinda realizes this (at least for me)

even if they don’t agree w/Jake and think they should just address the David problem right then and there, they all trust Jake as their leader to make that decision 

also the fact that these are the first books to do the ‘to be continued’ thing rather than wrapping the plot up...it really made it feel all the more tense 

in other books I normally look at the page count and go ‘ok so this conflict will be solved in this scene cause there are only 15 pages left’ (which is st I do a lot I now realize lmaooo I can pretty much gauge what’ll happen based on how many pages are left - and I do this when I read fanfic too, by looking at where the scroll bar is...anyways)

BUT w/these books its totally up in the air cause they can end anytime and just get continued next book, which makes it so much more tense imo

also I fucking loooove the part in book 21 where they’re hiding out with that little pool of yeerks - and I actually bookmarked some pages for these liveblogs, so I have quotes, this one from Jake - 

‘There was something wrong about killing defenseless slugs. I was pretty sure about that.’

Oh, Jake, that opinion is gonna change someday....

it is a little ironic considering he jacuzzi’d those yeerks in like book 7 or w/e. but alas its still a fantastic line that serves to show in the end how much things have changed 

also I love that the decision not to kill those defenseless yeerks end up helping them later - the yeerks check the pool bc they’re so certain that if the andalite bandits HAD snuck in, they surely would have killed the helpless yeerks. but they didn’t, so that means the andalite bandits didn't sneak in....

I like when the characters do a morally good thing and are then rewarded by the narrative for it - it’s pretty rare in this series, where there are usually NO morally correct choices (such is life) or they’re actively punished for making a ‘good’ decision (one could argue that the decision to make David an animorph instead of letting him become a controller was a morally good decision, but it had dire consequences). 

Ok and the part I have to talk about w/these books of course - everything w/Rachel. bc damn Rachel really goes through it in this trilogy. I absolutely LOVE the character development she gets, and I especially enjoyed the way her and Jake's relationship was developed

anyways, one of the best and most fucked up quotes of the series, from Jake’s POV in book 21  - 

<Ax? I think Tobias is dead,> I said. <I think David killed him.> <That would be a most terrible thing,> Ax said.  <Yeah. Get Rachel. If David’s killed Tobias, we may have to do a terrible thing, too. Get Rachel.>

AUGHHHHH fucking chills I swear. also eternal love for them saying dead/killed/etc and never shying away from it. it really wouldn't have the same impact if they used the normal kid-safe PG words 

but yeah Jake asking for Rachel when he thinks that they may have to hunt down and kill David? phewwww. 

and the significance of this is never downplayed. this essentially confirms that Jake sees Rachel as the one who is willing and able to do the dirty work - and specifically in this case, it’s also likely bc it was Tobias who was ‘killed’ and he knows how Rachel feels about Tobias

but like, that’s so fucked up, I love it. they give this situation the exact amount of weight it requires - ch1 of book 22 has this part from Rachel - 

‘If David had hurt Tobias, I would... But what was the point in making threats? I didn't need to make threats. I knew what I would do. So did Jake. That’s why he’d sent Ax for me.’

at first, it seems like Rachel is on the same page as Jake, but when it becomes clearer later that Jake sent Ax specifically to get Rachel bc she could do the terrible thing that had to be done - instead of just bc they needed reinforcements and she was closest - then things change 

but even when Rachel gets rightfully upset later over this, you get the sense she still never really sees any option other than to kill David. it’s not even the ‘killing David’ part that upsets her, it’s that Jake, her cousin, immediately thinks of her as the person to do the deed 

so, another fantastic quote from Rachel - 

‘Tobias was dead. Jake might still die. And I was going to have to go after David. I was going to have to hunt him down.  I was going to hunt him down and destroy him.  No, not destroy. That was a weasel word. It was vague, meaningless. I was going to kill him.’

fucking WOW. like really. that bit right there is just perfect quintessential dark animorphs. it just subverts the classic kid-friendly phrasing, using words like ‘hunt down’ and ‘destroy’ instead of kill. But Rachel says it like it is. she’s not going to destroy David, she’s going to kill him. 

But then a few pages later, after Ax tells her the quote where Jake asks for her specifically - 

‘It definitely made me feel strange. Jake had called for me specifically. Because he wanted someone who would do precisely what I was planning to do.  Like I say, I’m not big on feelings, but something about that felt wrong.’

I say it a lot but wow do these kids need So Much Therapy. these are like...8th graders. jesus christ. when I was in 8th grade I was busy planning sims-playing get-togethers w/my fellow 13 year old friends. christ animorphs 

and fuck, the part where Rachel threatens David’s family, and shoves a fork in his ear? jesus. and the fact that Jake knew that Rachel was going to threaten David and let her go do it...

and then afterwards, Rachel says - 

‘I felt...not exactly ashamed. But I knew I never wanted to talk to Cassie about what I’d just told David. Or Tobias. Or even Marco.’

I'm gonna make some leaps here but I think it’s really interesting that Rachel even mentions Marco here, and says ‘or even Marco.’ like, the ‘even’ seems to imply that Marco would otherwise be somebody she WOULD talk to about something like this.

which...kinda tracks, tbh. Marco is Mr Ruthless, he’s a cold, pragmatic strategist when he isn’t cracking jokes as a coping mechanism. it makes sense that Rachel would talk to him about things like this - he would make jokes, but he’d also understand 

I'm just so interested in all the highly varying dynamics that exist within the group okay 

and then right after Rachel says - 

‘But I swear at that moment I hated Jake far more than I did David.  I should have told them all what had happened. But Jake already knew, didn’t he? Jake, the smart, determined leader, already knew all about me.’

that's fucking daaark okay. It paints this picture of Jake having become this master manipulator who knows all about Rachel’s violent tendencies and is using them to his full strategic advantage

Oh my god okay and then all the stuff w/Saddler, christ. I had completely forgotten about that plotline but there was so much fucked up stuff there, too

and the scene where Rachel gives some good life advice to her little sister, and it’s a good bit to remind the reader and characters of the world outside of animorphs conflict...and then David speaks up. 

that was such brutal mood whiplash, when you realize that David is morphed and hidden in Rachels room somewhere...fucking chilling 

that whole scene just oozes disgusting creepiness. David’s fixation on Rachel specifically, and his rage at being ‘bested’ by her, really feels like misogyny to me. while David butted heads w/Marco, you never got the same sense of anger and disgust that he displays towards Rachel.

and the line where he says ‘hey, enjoy your shower’ made me shudder in disgust. christ. there are a lot of revolting, dark implications there.

also, book 22 obviously does a ton of fantastic character work for Rachel, but it does the same for Jake, too. and Cassie, but ill get to that later

we get to see so much of Jake as a leader and a strategist here, and pitting him and Rachel against each other (so to speak) makes for some excellent characterization, like when Rachel starts questioning why he asked for her - 

“I thought David had killed Tobias. I thought he might kill me. I wanted...firepower.”  “I see. You wanted me for my morphs.” It was a good answer. It could have almost been true. 

and then we get a brief pit stop at the children's hospital where the fucked up parade continues - David morphed Saddler, Rachel and Jake’s injured/dying young cousin, and is pretending to be him, miraculously recovered from his accident

and meanwhile he DUMPED THE REAL SADDLER’S BODY DOWN AN ELEVATOR SHAFT. I literally cant, what the FUCK. 

and they never really follow up on it but the whole family and all the Drs think its this miraculous recovery against all odds, but then obviously David disappears and therefore so does Saddler - do they ever find his real body? how completely fucked up that must have been - so much worse than if saddler had just died from his injuries - the miraculous recovery completely overturned by a bunch of stuff that doesn’t even make sense to anybody except Jake and Rachel....

anyways, after all that completely fucked up bullshit, we have the Jake and Rachel confrontation, Jake’s whole speech about Rachel is amazing, but here are my highlights - 

“I think you’re the bravest member of the group. I think in a bad fight I’d rather have you with me than anyone else. But yeah, Rachel, I think there’s something pretty dark down inside you. I think you’re the only one of us who would be disappointed if all this ended tomorrow.”

I mean, christ. imagine your fellow 13 year old cousin saying this to you. oh MAN. and I love so much that Jake isn’t wrong, but he also is? he understands what Rachel will do, but not why she’s doing it. and I talked abt it before but Rachel has found herself in this box of ‘the brave/reckless blood knight,’ and feels pressure to live up to that reputation. 

so how much of it is a façade that she puts on bc she’s expected to, and how much of it is how she really feels? well, she got that reputation initially for a reason, but she gets pushed more and more in that direction as the series progresses, both bc of the unintentional pressure to live up to her role as the Xena of the group, and bc it’s really, really useful to have somebody like Rachel on your side

Then Rachel says -

‘I tried to look at myself the way Jake saw me. Was it true? Did I love this war?’

I'm gonna lose it, these poor fucking middle schoolers. Rachel, listen, you’re 13, you’re a child soldier, of course you don't love the war you’re fighting...I need every child therapist on the block to come here right now

like jesus being 13 is hard enough without all this nonsense. it’s such a tenuous time in development, and add something like this - someone like Rachel, who is somewhat pigeonholed by society as ‘vapid, pretty blonde who loves to shop’ would of course flourish in an environment where she gets to show how much of a 3-dimensional Person she is - she can love shopping and also kick ass! nice! but also, like, trauma. 

So then Rachel says this about Jake - 

“Jake, you’re a leader now. You make life-and-death decisions. All the time. You’ve learned to do that. And,” I added bitterly, “you’ve learned to use people. You use them for their strengths and their weaknesses.” 

Fucking read, wow. I feel like Rachel is absolutely correct here, if not simplifying things a lot. like, yes, Jake does make these unfathomable decisions on the regular, but he’s got tons of conflict over every single thing he does, and there was a lot of uncertainty and trial-and-error leading up to this. but she is correct that he’s learned, and is clearly a lot more comfortable in his role as a military leader now. 

I just love the contrast these two have. Rachel, with the burden she carries as the bravest - the fighter of the team, who must be relied on in battle and to do the things that nobody else will do - and Jake, the leader, who has to make decisions knowing that he could get his friends killed at any time, and still trust that they’ll listen. 

And then Jake says - 

“But everyone draws their own line[...] For example, see, I used to think my line was drawn at using my friend, my cousin, to do my dirty work. Guess that turned out not to be true. Sorry, Rachel.” 

And then they hug and vow to murder David together, as a team. Heartwarming cousin bonding! Again, so much therapy. 

So yeah I love that scene. especially when you take into consideration Rachel’s ultimate fate, and Jake’s part in it. excuse me while I go weep. 

Anyways, to the end. THE ENDING....it gets me every time. I’ll never be over it. I don’t remember much about animorphs from when I read it at age 11 but I really really remember the ending to book 22. The way they masterfully set David up, the rat morph, the pipes, THE LEGO, the reveal that they planned the entire thing, the moment when David realizes what’s going to happen to him....oof. It’s not something I could forget, even w/my notoriously horrible memory when it comes to media 

Also I feel like there was more subtle misogyny when David insists on humiliating/subjugating Rachel, just because she proved earlier that she was stronger and smarter and better than him...eugh David is just such a disgusting creep that you don’t even end up feeling bad for him even though he’s a middle schooler being handed a fate worse than death. I mean, he tossed a dead/dying kid’s body down an elevator shaft in a children's hospital. I’m pretty sure he deserves this. 

And here’s the part where I talk about Cassie. because even though she didn’t get a POV book in the David trilogy, she still got some brutally fantastic character development. here we see David starting to realize what’s happening - 

‘Cassie was crying.  David hadn't asked who the mastermind of the plan was. Who it was who had so accurately appraised his emotions, his need to build his ego, the fact that he would choose me to be his “companion.” Cassie, of course. Cassie had worked it out, step by step, after Jake and I had failed to come up with anything.  For Cassie, it was an improvement over the alternatives. See, no one was going to have to die.  But David’s life would end, just the same.’

CASSIE. The dark horse, except not really, bc this is perfectly in line with what we know about her, especially coming off book 19, her last POV book before this. in that book she makes some absolutely awful decisions, all to avoid having to kill somebody. 

After all of Jake and Rachel’s badass vows to take David down, it’s Cassie who finds the solution. 

To a lot of people, David’s fate could be considered worse than death. To Cassie, it’s a better alternative. That speaks volumes about her, and I love it. 

Also, the MANIPULATION. Cassie in the David trilogy really gets to flex her interpersonal manipulation skills, which I love to see. It’s such a fascinating aspect of her character; a really interesting use of empathy

Like the scene in book 20 where David freaks out as a roach and she manipulates him into not giving them away by pitting him against Marco, someone who David doesn’t get along with, by saying ‘if Marco can do it, can’t you?’ because she knows he’ll fall for it. And he DOES. 

And then the part in the cafeteria where she basically plays the ‘good cop’ to everyone else in the group’s ‘bad cop.’ Not ONLY does she manage to get David to shut up and listen to her, she also posits her theory that he wants to blue box to trade it for his parents - which his reactions to her questions confirms as true. and nobody else in the group suspected this. 

She lures him into a sense of security by talking kindly and quietly about how she understands how he feels, then hits him with what she knows and gets him to confirm it, which then allows Rachel to accurately threaten him. 

And then Cassie, offscreen, comes up with the entire plan on how to trap David as a rat, because from the beginning she had him figured out. David didn’t pay much attention to Cassie - more misogyny tbh, as Cassie is the girl on the team who isn’t an aggressive, feminine blonde - and that ended up being a huge reason for his downfall. 

David also didn’t pay much attention to Tobias, and clearly didn’t see him as human at all, and that made Tobias very valuable after David assumed he had killed Tobias. 

Ok, back to the ending - the fact that it was Rachel and Ax who stayed there to wait the two hours for David to become a nothlit....

Rachel says - 

‘Jake’s a good leader. He knows when to use us. He knows when to protect us. He knew he had to protect as many of his people as he could from what was going to happen.’ 

fucking brutal. TWO HOURS of listening to this awful kid beg and threaten and barter. I can’t even imagine. 

And Ax too! He gets overlooked a lot as an alien, and it’s probably true that all of this impacts him differently than the other human animorphs, it can’t be in any way pleasant to have to sit there for two hours and act as a living timer to count down this kid’s life. Ax is a kid, too, and an isolated one at that, being the only Andalite on the team. 

So yeah that scene is awful. Rachel even says - 

‘Two hours. But that two hours of horror will last forever in my mind. If I live a hundred years, I will still hear his cries, his threats, his pleading, each night before sleep takes me. And beyond sleep, in my dreams.’

I know I’m beating a dead horse here, but jesus christ, THEY NEED SO MUCH THERAPY. The fact that one of the constants in all of the POVs is the nightmares that all the animorphs consistently have....geez

Okay so I know in my last two liveblogs I ended them by comparing animorphs to another series - hxh and mtmte - but I honestly am drawing a blank for this...

I guess the only thing I can think of is to compare it to mob psycho 100, which is another very good, very subtly subversive series 

In mp100, the entire Point is that the very powerful psychic middle schoolers DON’T end up using their powers to fight life-or-death battles against adult enemies in order to save the world and whatnot. the Point is that that’s fucked up, and these kids shouldn’t be responsible for something like that, no matter how powerful they are 

and basically the character who says all that is Reigen, an adult who actively prevents the middle schoolers from joining what would be some very traumatizing fights 

basically my point here is less to compare the two shows and more to say - the poor animorphs could really use a Reigen huh. like, they seriously need an adult who’ll step in and say ‘wait a second, these kids are doing WHAT? hold the fucking phone, no way, get some actual adults in here to solve this shit. not today!’

the closest they could've come to an adult figure in their lives is Elfangor and he dies like 5 minutes after giving them superpowers, soooo....

man mp100 slaps I should rewatch it. anyways yeah the theme of this post is ‘the animorphs need therapy and also a stable adult figure in their lives to help them not get traumatized all the time’ thank you for coming to my ted talk

[bucksbisexual]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAA OKAY LAST ONE OF MY OPINION POSTS HERE GOES EP12:

[breathes in]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

i’m so fucking happy with this ending

it’s such a good happy ending this is truly what the gays deserve i’m just happiness in physical form rn

i don’t even know where to start but i’ll try to make this as chronological as my brain allows me because my memory do be sucking

i’m gonna put a keep reading because this shit will get loooooong kjshfkf okay let’s do this

so.. we start with PETE EXPOSING NON(T)’S BRAT ASS!!!!!!!!!! FUCK YES THATS MY BABY THATS MY BOY!!!!!!!!!!

kao’s mom being a fucking badass and telling her BOSS how to do shit. i love her yall I LOVE HERRRRRRRR

also kao’s mom telling kao that she wasn’t the most amazing person ever was so cute because you can see kao’s light bulb turning on sjfkhsgsh please i love them

yes i will say i love x after every single one of these u can’t stop me

from the teaser i thought kao would dashi run run run to pete’s house but thankfully he took a taxi lmao

at least he didn’t run there because he had to run from pete’s house (or may i say, mansion) to the POOL my man is a whole athlete oh my god

KAO YELLING HE LOVES PETE!!!!!!!!!!! IN THE MIDDLE OF A CLOSED SPACE WITH PEOPLE IN IT!!!!!!!!!!!! AND HE DOESN’T GIVE A FUCK IF THEY HEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THATS CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT BABYYYYYYYY

also a beautiful parallel to the scene from ep1 (i noticed there’s a lot of parallels in this episode we stan character development and repeating things just so the viewers can see how consistent the couples are)

the kiss from that scene............... beautiful amazing gorgeous idk many words in english to describe how i felt while watching and how i feel about it

to that i think we cut to sunmork but i don’t remember what happened because of the kiss KJHFKSL SORRY

anygays i rlly like how this whole episode is sun being a clingy bih and mork gay panicking while trying to act like a confident gay when he knows that sun outconfidentgays him i love them lmao

okay after that i think it’s petekao having food with their parents all together and god i looooooove this scene

pete’s dad being the lgbt ally dad all of us lgbt fellas with homo/transphobic dads wish we had will never fail to make me soft i love that man pls be my dad too

also kao’s mom :-(( i love her she respected her son’s decision on not coming out until he was ready even though she already smelled it (reminds me of my mom lmao) and was always there for him even when kao didn’t say anything :-(((((((((((

petekao bickering will never get old i swear i love every time they do because that’s so..... men it makes their characters more real

i know there’s a lot (not that much because i admit this episode was kinda short?? idk maybe it’s just me) between that scene and this one but THE SQUAD EATING ALL TOGETHER AGAIN!!!!!!!! AND THEM TEASING PETEKAO!!!!!! PLEASE I LOVE THEM

pete literally not knowing how to stop the audio and broadcasting live TO THE WHOLE COUNTRY that time when he told kao he loved him through the teddy bear...... peak pete culture

the fact that ppl love them and they have a whole hashtag on twitter makes me soft because usually when someone is famous in bls the fans hate the other part of the couple but in this one??? oh no honey we stan petekao in this household hate is not allowed it’s actually prohibited illegal

okay let me backtrack a bit skjfhsjf

OH YES I FORGOT!!!! manow wanting to talk with mork was so weird when i saw the teaser for the episode but after seeing them talk i was like oooooh okay i understand

sun saying “what’s your girl saying to my boy” is probably one of my favourite lines of this drama KLHSJFLF

rain reading their lips fskjfjsf and when mork said “fuck you rain” HIS FACE SKJFHKSJSLFJ HE WAS SCARED SHITLESS but also the end of this scene was so cute i love these three

i just did a bit of skipping through the episode to try and actual make an order out of this mess and the petekao+parents thing comes now,,,,,, anygaYS

then it’s more teasing between sunmork blah blah

then MORK SPEAKING THE MF TRUTH!!!!!!!!!!!!! quoting the actual dialogue “it’s my choice to tell or not tell anyone. i should get to decide”

OUTING SOMEONE ISN’T COOL!!!!!!! IT’S NOT OKAY!!!!!!!!!!! NO LGBT PERSON WILL EVER WANT TO BE OUTED!!!!!!!!!!!!! DON’T DO THAT SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

rain had good intentions but it doesn’t mean that it was right of him to do so

okay this got serious,, sun going to rain’s bed with not one but Two pillows when barely two people fit in that bed.... oh to be that iconic and carelessly gay

back to petekao because we will never get enough of these two (which is why i’ll probably watch the our skyy episode tomorrow just to cry over these fools)

it’s so weird to see tay being like this after watching him being himself in other things like the live lunch and taynew meal date and other things i’ve randomly watched during this week to retain myself from finishing this series in a night ksfjhsfkshlks

also kao helping pete shave and pete being like do u like my moustache or should i shave it for u my lord SFHKFJ the domesticity and just the feeling of two idiots being in love i love them with my whole heart

kao staying at pete’s house because it’s both of their first days as interns and kao!!!!! he works for pete’s dad!!!!!!! pete’s dad accepted him into his company!!!!!! i love them

also the bickering between those three sjfkhs “hello im pete im from thailand” “that’s all you’ll say today” THAT WAS SO FUNNNY SKJFHSKFHSFJSFL

THE MESSAGE IN THE TEDDY BEAR !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KAO CALLING PETE LOVE PLEASE IM GONNA CRYYYYYYYYYYYY I LOVE THESE FOOLS

okay so the squad eating together is right after this but i already talked about it ksjfhsfh next!!

idk if it’s a big time skip or a small one but guess what!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MANOW AND RAIN ARE DATING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY STRAIGHT BABIES YES I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUU AAAAAAAAAAAAA

manow is so pretty and rain is so cute they’re both so lucky my bisexual ass is crying

pete being “angry” at kao being so handsome,,, a mood

but also.. pete being possessive was h*t

there i said it and i don’t regret it

random but i will miss kao’s annoying ass saying “about aboyz” sjfkhsfh

pete being like “i will have to give u more love bites (ffs gmmtv just say hickies we are all at an age where we know what love bites are) so no one flirts with u” and kao being like “bitch try me” sjfhksfj i’m loving bratty kao

also that scene turned into furry kao real quick KJHDKJFSHJF

okay now it’s: mork’s birthday party time!!

rain and manow arrive first and are the cutest couple around because the two main gays haven’t arrived yet (being gay AND punctual? not possible)

sun and rain fighting in the kitchen was peak siblings culture skfhksjf

mork being ready to leave his own birthday party with a stranger who also plays pokemon go just to have a battle................ dumbass bisexual energy

said stranger is eARN FROM 2GETHER!!!!!! FILM IS IN THIS TOO!!!!!!!! first the girl who plays yuri in yyy and now film who plays earn in 2gether is here too??? damn wlw keep winning (also headcanon: theyre dating/seeing each other because LESBIANS periodt)

okay petekao arrive and wont u guess whats their present for mork,,,,,, the mf TEDDY BEAR and kao rlly says that they should use it since theyre so lip sealed lmao

rain and manow literally gave mork a present not for him but for sun im- i love these two

MORK FINALLY SAID YES TO BEING BOYFRIENDS OH MY GOD DUDE U ACTUALLY HAD ME WORRIED THERE FOR A SEC

also sun being a whole koala and being a horny bitch is so funny sfhskfjskl my man has his priorities set

their last scene is so cute :-(( poor rain will have to live with this until he moves out sjfhksjf

oh boi the ending is near hhhhhhh

kao teaching his class an equation that ends up in i < 3 u is the most kao thing i’ve ever seen

also kAO IS BOOKED AND BUSY BABYYYYYYYYYY GET THOSE COINS HONEY

pete being like “u haven’t spent enough time with me lately >:-(” was cute jhkfjs my man is needy of kao and i understand that because have u seen kao? exactly

kao teasing him with not having forgotten the cup this time and pete being his possessive self was.. splendid

every reference to something that happened with non(t) hurts but also i love how they just tease each other because they know that now their relationship is stronger than it’s ever been and that nothing and no one will come between them

the scenes they show during the last last scenes :-((( BOYFIES!!!!!!

and i love how they decided to end the show with them holding hands in public

i would explain why i do but it’s 6:26 am and i’ve been writing this for at least half an hour already and my laptop is heating up a lot and im sweating because it’s hot in here so get down on the floor pipiipipipipipipi

kdjhkdfhs sorry im not sleepy this is just my brain without a filter it’s just gay shit and a big repertoire of songs

god okay that was my opinion on the last episode of dark blue kiss...........

needless to say that i will eat every bit of content related to petekao after this because writing this i already miss them and i can’t wait to watch our skyy tomorrow idk where but i will

i really really REALLY liked this drama and it’s one of the two bl dramas (not counting the untamed) i’ve given a full 10/10 rating on mdl because it’s THAT good

everything about this drama is just.. chef’s kiss i love it i will probably rewatch it when my plan to watch is empty but it’s a pretty long list so.. hopefully i’ll ignore that and just rewatch sjkfhslf

i’ll of course watch kiss and kiss me again just for the petekao, the squad and rain scrumbs because i’m sure that the petekao compilations don’t show everything

but yeah im just.. i love this show it’s been a rlly long time since i started writing this but i’m still happy because it’s so good and truly gave us a good happy ending and i swear i cannot emphasise enough how important good happy endings in lgbt media are!!!!!!!!!!

anygays im hungry and ready to submerge myself in the dbk tags, see u all tomorrow for my our skyy petekao episode version of this,,,,,

till then, stay safe ! bYE

[coeurvrai]

Okay I’m back with a bowl of crunched up Yum Yum noodles and a nearly full glass of water. Let’s get back into the saddle.

You can’t talk your way out of this. Her blood is on your hands, not mine.” She leaned closer to him.

“I can live with that. You’re trying to paint it as something it’s not.”

“It was murder.”

“She was a slavhka, raised from birth to slaughter Kalyazi, and as necessary, other Tranavians.”

“That doesn’t make her a monster!”

“We’re all monsters, Nadya,” Malachiasz said, his voice gaining a few tangled chords of chaos. “Some of us just hide it better than others.

Not to beat a dead horse, but still, what in the actual fuck? Nadya, you have murdered people before and in fact, they were all Tranavians. The book tells us that you are supposed to be fine with murdering people.

“That doesn’t make her a monster!” Nadya, you are out here calling any and all Tranavians “heretics” and “abominations” and unworthy existing or living as is because their mere existence is an insult to you and the Gods because they rejected the gods and turned to blood magic instead. Pot calling the kettle black.

Also I still have the energy to roll my eyes at that quote, and at the phrase “a few tangled chords of chaos”. What the fuck does that mean, ED?

Now she was aware of just how close they were, her hand still clutching his arm. His gaze strayed to her lips. She managed to keep from blushing as she let go and stepped away—she didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing he could still fluster her while she was angry.

She closed her eyes. Heard him step away. When she opened her eyes again he was sitting on the chaise, elbow resting against the armrest, chin in his hand.

I am literally willing them to not have a Moment at this very moment. I cannot be fucked dealing with their stupid relationship bullshit. Also, despite getting mad at him for killing Felicíja, she still finds the time to get all blushy blushy at their proximity and him looking at her mouth.

God, Nadya, you just suck.

Malachiasz changes topics and mentions that at dinner, she’ll be sitting close to the king since she’ll be sitting with Serefin, and that she should be prepared to strike when they get the opportunity to.

The door opened. Nadya whirled, but relaxed when it was only Rashid. He grinned.

“Well, that was fun.” His face fell as he picked up on the energy in the room. “Maybe not fun?”

Rashid returns! Obviously his supposed relevancy to this story has come into play again, because he’s here. Also, “fun” would be the last word I would use to describe what I’ve just had to experience.

Nadya sighed, finally collapsing into a chair. Malachiasz watched her carefully, like one watched a dog that had just bitten them. Had he assumed her harmless? That she would simply comply with any decision he made? They were still—at their core—enemies in this war. She hadn’t forgotten, not even while she found herself worrying about his safety and wanting him by her side.

Well considering the utter fact that by all rights, you were pretty easy to convince to come on this journey and to participate in this plan when you shouldn’t be, I’m not surprised if Malachiasz views you this way. Also bullshit, you being enemies in this war means absolutely nothing when you’ve literally defended your choice to show mercy to Felicíja, a blood mage, who is also your enemy! Because she’s Tranavian, and you’re supposed to hate any and all Tranavians, and kill them as is your holy and god-given mission!

Malachaisz gives her a handkerchief to clean herself up with.

He was a nightmare—the echoes she still felt of his power were troubling—but he was gentle. Anxious and strange, a boy caught up in a world that had broken him, all while trying to do something good for once. She wondered if her anger that was so quick to spark was just her fighting against the pull she felt. Was Nher fascination merely because she had been sheltered her whole life and never known someone so drastically different from herself? Or was it more? Was it because he was dangerous and exciting, all while being completely infuriating yet thoughtful?

Nadya, I am so utterly disinterested in your constant fabricated bullshit push and pull with Malachiasz right now. You’re an idiot. That’s all I really have to say. This isn’t good writing for enemies-to-lovers because the whole pretense of being enemies is to just to fabricate some angst and then will be thrown away so ED can jump into the lovers part of the trope. And you’re a fucking idiot.

Nadya can’t reach the gods atm because the reception isn’t that great.

Rashid states that next they have dinner and Nadya comments that he doesn’t look right being dressed in servants’ clothes.

“I’ve already failed the first etiquette test,” Nadya said. “That bodes well for the next one.”

Malachiasz stretched out towards her before thinking better of it and setting his hand on the arm of her chair instead. She found her eyes drawn to the tattoos on his long, elegant fingers. They were simple, straight lines: two on either side of each finger and one down the back that started at the bed of each fingernail and ended at his wrist in a single black bar.

Knowing Nadya, someone will say something at dinner and she will stab that person across the dinner table. Also, those tattoos sound fucking dumb. At least make his tattoos tell a story like Russian criminals’ tattoos do when they get them in prison or whatever. His tattoos just sound stupid, they’re all lines.

“Everything is a game,” he said. “It’s all a play for power. We didn’t want it, but you’ve caught the attention of the elite, so you may as well keep it.”

She swallowed hard. “I can handle myself.”

“I know, Nadya.”

I do not need this right now, shut up. Also that’s a lie and we all know it, Nadya.

Malachiasz asks Rashid about the gossip he’s gotten from the servants around the palace and he recaps everything we basically already know: about the queen, about Serefin and his father, about the Rawalyk, and about Pelageya.

Apparently, this is news to Nadya and I still don’t understand how it isn’t common knowledge already that Pelageya, a Kalyazi witch, is around and alive and is a companion to the Tranavian queen.

Like, apparently the people of Kalyazi, but especially the devoted and the Gods, hate the witches almost as much as they hate the Tranavians, so much so they committed a witch hunt and glorify their supposed purging from their country.

Nadya and Malachiasz exchanged a glance, their fight momentarily forgotten.

*long, drawn out sigh*

Rashid also mentions the meeting that Serefin had with the Crimson Vulture, and the salt mines.

“That’s not good,” he murmured.

“Wait, which one is Crimson?” Nadya asked. The rankings didn’t make any sense.

“Żywia is the second in command.”

Nadya didn’t like that he knew and used their names when no one else did. She didn’t need to be constantly reminded of what he was.

Just because you’re being meta and poking fun at your own worldbuilding doesn’t mean that you get off for not fixing it and not making the rankings make more sense. It’s not a get out free jail card, ED.

Also shut up, Nadya. You keep saying that but then nothing of real substance comes out of it, so just shut up about it.

“Perhaps the king’s visits to the Salt Mines means he’s working with the Black Vulture and the prince is attempting to undermine that?” Rashid said.

“I’d always thought a schism among the Vultures would be impossible,” Malachiasz said. “But I think we’ve stepped into something bigger than just a silly pageant for a queen. If the Salt Mines are involved, definitely so.”

The Rawalyk‘s relevance to the plot is what, again?

Also what do you mean you thought a schism would be impossible? I know you’re Evil McEvil, but you’ve claimed to have broken away from them for good. Like, you’re proof there’s a fucking schism. Like fucking what lmao

“Still,” Rashid said, “the king seems to have forsaken his usual retainer of guards in favor of the Vultures.”

“They’re not guards,” Malachiasz said.

“What are they, then, Malachiasz?” Nadya asked. He was becoming increasingly agitated. Nadya wasn’t going to ignore the tremors of doubt she had when he appeared to falter.

He waved a hand. “It would be like your Kalyazi tsar having clerics act as guards. It’s not their purpose, they’re not supposed to be so deeply connected to the secular throne.”

Nadya sighed. “Except religion is interwoven into our government. It’s not a thing to be shoved aside.” She didn’t like comparing monsters with her religion, but it was an apt enough example.

What? I get what secular means - that it’s separated from religious matters, as in the phrase “separation of church and state”, but that makes no sense. Is he supposed to be referring to just Kalyazin here? I would kind of assume so, because that’s the only way this would make sense. But then Nadya corrects him the next paragraph!

Because the whole nation of Tranavia is secular. Their society is based upon rejecting the Gods and being non-religious. Like that phrasing is so fucking weird. Like I get the gist, Vultures and the Court are usually separate because Vultures don’t even recognise the Tranavian king as their ruler because they have their own king, the Black Vulture. But wtf with “secular throne”.

[abnormal-angel]

Summary of My Favorite Quotes from the Enty Podcast (3/11):

Hey, I’m going to have to splice up the podcast audio because it is too long as is for Tumblr. I’ll try and do that tonight. But, I transcribed my favorite parts yesterday so I’ll post those for now. 

I bolded the comments by Enty I enjoyed the most and put my comments in (parentheses) and italized. If nothing else this is a good refresher for the timeline of these two, her and JJ, and the Fatih of it all ;) 

Enjoy!

-----

"Diane Kruger is an interesting story to me. And she is probably, she and Norman Reedus, are probably the #1 request I get...And it's, I don't know, it's the same. You know? Norman cheats, she forgives. She cheats, he doesn't care. That's kind of the thing."

(I still maintain this isn’t any real type of relationship. I mean he obviously is getting it a lot of other places besides her, meaning she just doesn’t do it for him, even in the bedroom. She just sticks arounf like the girl who hooked up with a guy and now is there every night watching him ignore her and flirt with everyone else in the room. Take the hint d. It is pretty pathetic, especially at this point.)

"I've never heard that they fight a lot. I think that they just...don't care. You know? Maybe they're just... Their apathetic, that's a good word.”

(That’s because he never wanted this to be serious or last this long. It is like two strangers sitting together at a table.)

[Talks about her ex-husband and their relationship]

[Talks about her and Joshua, more just friends than in love and there was overlap between Joshua and her ex-husband]

[Norman has let it slip that there is nothing "kinky" about Diane] 

(aka boring as fuck in bed lol! Let’s be real the man loves sex and I bet he enjoys mixing it up a bit at times, she obviously doesn’t fulfill him. I bet she just lays there lol!)

"Norman will have sex with anybody. He'll make the moves on anybody. And obviously, this is something Diane wanted... It happened Dec 2015, that's when the first inkling of it came up. And of course, she was still with Joshua at that time. And this totally makes sense, the story went that Norman and Diane were tipsy and he was on whiskey, she was on vodka, and they were making out in front of everybody. That totally sounds like every single Norman Reedus hookup ever! Okay? I've been writing Norman Reedus tips and they are all exactly the same. Comic con... drunk, go back to the hotel room, have sex, repeat the next day. That's his thing.

So when you hear the story and they’re in the bar and their drunk, I totally get it. There you know what happened. I 100% believe that's what happened and I think that perhaps Diane thought then maybe there was more to it or something? [he giggles at the thought] So, yeah they made out. Then she got him into a chair and she's straddling him. Which would lead you to believe that maybe things with Joshua aren't that great..."

(So again he was three sheets to the wind and that was the only reason she got him to make out with her. I go back to what I was told about on lookers saying he looked very uncomfortable when she was straddling him. So I have to wonder if his whiskey buzz had worn off by then and he wondered wtf he had just done.

And yeah she probably thought he would worship her ass and she would have him in the palm of her hand. But, I guess she really doesn’t know who he is and that to him this act wasn’t a serious thing. She legit was in his mind probably equivalent to a one night stand. Although Enty didn’t say anything about them leaving together and if I remember correctly he left alone not long after she straddled him and made an ass out of them both.)

[Talk about how awful she looked in this situation because she hadn't put it out there that she and Joshua had split when she was seen making out with Norman. She looks awful and "Norman doesn't care..."]

(He didn’t care because she wasn’t anything he was very interested in and it was a one time thing in his mind. Also remember when he heard she lied to him about not being with JJ anymore he ghosted her and pimp Fabienne had to pull him back in with a work related excuse.)

"Now she had said in an April 2016 article that she had never met Norman before filming Sky. She said, "We share a lot of intimate scenes and I was scared about meeting him and not being able to have a drink with him or talk with him." and "I would not recommend having your better half on set, when you have to film intimate scenes with another man," she said. I think that they were filming the movie, they start hooking up, and Joshua visits the set and he can see.”

(Funny drinking with him is the first thing that comes to mind before even talking to him! lol! Her only love besides herself is the bottle!)

(Also this is where I personally disagree. I do not think they hooked up on set. I think she tried several times but after she lied to him that trust for her was gone with him. Also, he had to have seen she was trying to latch onto him and not wanting anything serious I doubt he would be messing around with her when she was following him around like a puppy.  But, that’s my opinion.)

“The weird part was you had this happen in Dec 2015. But Diane and Josh didn't announce their split until July 2016. So 8 months after the fact. So what you had was everybody just blasting Diane Kruger for 8 months. And hurting Pacey, everybody loves Pacey. Nobody likes Diane Kruger. They don't have an emotional attachment to Diane Kruger...”

(”Nobody likes Diane Kruger.” - HAHAHA! Ain’t that the truth! Because she is a cold-hearted b*tch to everyone!)

“Over the time of the blog I've down 75 photos of Diane Kruger..75 pictures. She's maybe, maybe, wearing jeans in 2 of them. And I think it took me a decade to see her in a pair of jeans. I always thought about her who cared more about herself and fashion than anything else. And that Joshua was more like an accessory that had to be there. Much like a handbag or a pair of sunglasses...I think Joshua was always an accessory. And then Norman Reedus became that luxury item that you splurge on and break the bank with. And that's kind of what she wanted and Norman's that kind of guy for it.

(Well she certainly broke her career chasing after a man who didn’t want her!)

(I love the accessory comment because it really is true. When she was with JJ I always could tell she really only loved being with him for the camera and media attention. Norman is the very same thing to her, nothing more than her meal ticket to have an excuse to be in the media because otherwise no one cares about her or her career. She is a user.)

"Let's go back to 'Everybody Likes Pacey.'... Everybody in general public likes Pacey and Diane let herself be hammered for 7 or 8 months, 'homewrecker, homewrecker, homewrecker!" And what did they say about Norman Reedus? "Eh, It's Norman." So who's taking the brunt? Diane. Who's getting the sympathy votes? Joshua...

Anyway. She said about it in an interview in 2017 about why they waited until July of 2016. She says, "That break up was a long time coming. Also, we broke up many months before we said we were broken up, so by the time I made that decision it didn't feel like it was so urgent anymore. You don't break up overnight after 10 years, you know what I mean? It wasn't like an urgent, 'omg I can't sleep at night thing,' It felt liberating that I didn't have to worry about that anymore. So that I could immerse myself 100% into something else. That something else was the German language movie, "In the Fade."" Hmmm! "A role she won best actress at Canne's film festival in May."

“Okay. So, do you think that In the Fade coincided with that first time that she got pregnant? Right? So, maybe Diane was seeing Norman but he was seeing 50 other people. So, Diane and the director of In the Fade! 

(I heard she has had a few abortions, not miscarriages btw)

And Diane of course... This is how bad she is at this. By letting herself get hammered for 7 or 8 months... After 8 months of letting herself get hammered, she finally tries to get her friends to blame Josh, claiming he messed around for years and holding her career back because he was jealous. [sighs] Pacey doesn't have anything to be jealous about and Joshua Jackson can work all day long... But he was holding her back and he was jealous? She was working all the time. I don't think he was holding her back. The thing is she's never gonna be an A list actress, it's just not in the cards for her. People don't like her and now they like her less. Her cue scores are terrible!”

(She is never going to be an A list celeb. If she was meant to she would be by now. All she has ever been is a mediocre nobody who has to use men to get media attention.)

[Talks about Joshua's team saying she cheated and she was ruthlessly obsessed with her career over the relationship.]

"And again, I think that she... You can't tell everything about someone by the way someone dresses. But when you're seen at any kind of casual place and you're the one person who's wearing a chanel suit or a chanel dress, when everyone else is in shorts and flip flops or jeans and sneakers, and it happens all the time! It just gives everybody the impression that 'oh she thinks she is so much better than us.' And in Diane's case, she does think she's better than everybody. And maybe she is! I'm not saying she's not. 

I'm just not a huge fan of Diane Kruger. And I don't know a lot of people who are!

(My favorite line of the whole podcast lmao! SO TRUE!)

"And when they say, 'oh her friends,' I thought to myself what friends does she have? She doesn't. She has some guy friends. And I suppose they could have stuck up for her. But, she doesn't. Go look. Go back and find older pictures of her and see if you can find pictures of her hugging other women at parties or something. Maybe a co-star she's hugging on the red carpet that she's just filmed with and you'll never see her with that actress again. She's just not very loved..."

"She's hooking up with Norman but Norman's hooking up with 55 other people."

"They were totally platonic, they were separated... She was just, there." (Art exhibit Dec 2016)

Feb 2016 - garage pap pics

(with Fatih also through this time)

March 2017 - pap walk from hell

"I'm not saying she reads the site. But, I will say a lot of publicists read the site. Whenever I have a blind about Diane Kruger and like Norman hooking up with a co-star, that he hooks up with from time to time or regularly or frequently. Whenever I write something like that, remarkably, magically she will have some kind of post, usually within hours, but always by the next day, where she's facetiming him or an instagram post talking about how much in love they are. It's always like that. You never see those posts from her until there's something negative written and then the next day boom it's there!"

(It is a definite pattern for her! She basically ignores him unless someone starts questioning her rag fake storyline of “romance.” So contrived and she is so predictable!)

"So they had their child in November of 2018. So if you backtrack that she would have gotten pregnant in what? February? January? Something like that... So, let's say they were together from December 2017 and started trying to have the baby... There is that time though were you can definitely make the case that she was with the in the fade director. And I wonder, because there are plenty of rumors, that Norman Reedus, that he got a vasectomy. Because he's having so much sex with the comic con people right? And condoms break. And he didn't want to have 50 kids running all over, dressed as Walking Dead characters. So I've always wondered I don't know chemicals or something, it's possible. Plus she's 42 and she had a miscarriage before. Which is to be expected when you're having a baby and your over 40."

(She was with Fatih most of November and nearly all of December 2017. She barely saw Norman except in Costa when she was told to bring friends because he wasn’t hanging with her. So, being that cold to her I doubt they were screwing.)

(Also remember that article saying in March of 2018 she was seen in that warehouse district with Fatih? That was right after she trolled baby bump on the set of The Operative. If she was pregnant with Norman’s kid why would she be meeting up in secret with Fatih?)

(I also have always believed he was snipped. He enjoys himself too much not to be and have no accidental kids in 20 years since planned Mingus.)

"She's always been very private about the child...And here's the thing, she has never really been private about anything! You can always get her photo, right? Streets, red carpets, she'll do it all, met gala. She very, very, much wants to have her picture taken. She's that kind of actress who needs that publicity to stay relevant. Okay? Because she has to force herself out amongst it. She's not the type of person that the paparazzi gets all excited about. So she needs to push it. She needs to push where she is. She needs to do those kind of things.

Having a child of Norman Reedus and Diane Kruger, living in New York, you push that baby out in a stoller? You're gonna get some pictures. You're going to be in the tabloids every single day. And that's the kind of thing she needs to keep her career going at 42 years old... People are interested, it's more about Norman, but they want to know about this baby.

There is a lot of speculation that he is not the dad. Sperm wise or other. And the vasectomy thing, yes you can get them reversed. But it could be, has anybody's wondered, it could be perhaps that she doesn't want the child photographed. She has done her instagram thing, 'please do not like or retweet or anything like that about photos of the baby.' And I wonder if that's because the baby doesn't exactly look like Norman. So I want to know if she used a sperm donor. And I think that it's highly likely that she did. To me that makes more sense then him reversing a vasectomy.

(I definitely 1000% believe this kid is not his. Sperm donor or surrogate still makes most sense to me. And yeah why hide the baby? She is not private at all and LOVED trolling that this was his kid when it was in her womb - supposedly. So, why hide it now? She is lying about something with this kid and if it doesn’t look like him that would definitely explain it!)

He is a kind of guy who likes to have fun. You know? If they do end up splitting I think what you'll see is.. I wonder if he'll even, if... the true tell will be if he spends a lot of time on visits and things like that, if he's co-parenting, or if he just kind of fades away.”

“I think he thinks that she's trying to hang onto him. Which may very well be. Because since the time that she's been with Norman she makes much more news. She and Josh were kind of boring. But they were there and they were taking pictures all the time and they would get themselves out. But Norman's on a whole other level because so many people are fascinated with his life and the ins and outs of it and there are all these kinds of walking dead message boards... And like I said, I get the most requests for them out of anything.

(Norman isn’t wrong. She is desperate to hang onto him. But it has nothing to do with loving him and everything to do with loving the media attention.)

But it always is, when you have actresses and actors who always get their pictures taken but then all of a sudden become reluctant when it comes to the children and then you wonder, okay is this the real children?” 

(I think he meant is this the real parent.)

“And I don't understand Diane, because Norman doesn't seem her type really. He chain smokes, he drinks every night, he's always on the road, he loves comic cons. It doesn't seem as if the parental life is for him. Ya know? He will.. He loves going back to work! In Georgia, away, he knows that Diane's not coming down to Georgia. 

(No media attention in GA and she isn’t allowed to pap the set.)

He canceled a convention he was scheduled to attend because Diane basically made him. She doesn't like him meeting the female fans. She gets super jealous. And he likes meeting the female fans. And if she keeps trying to keep him from seeing stuff, it's not gonna work.

(What’s interesting to me is it seems like he let her semi tag along for years when she didn’t say anything or bother him about his hook ups. But lately she has been getting more and more jealous - probably because she knows he has lost all interest in her, which is why she trolled the pregnancy in the first place. But, she is going to wreck herself by doing this. It is obvious Norman loves his freedom and wants to be able to do whatever the fuck he wants. The more demanding she gets the more she will push him away. 

(p.s. fuck you for making him cancel a con, jealous bitch! If you were so comitted and in love with each other he wouldn’t prefer other women to you. Face reality and fug off!)

What's interesting is when Norman goes to these comic cons, he was still wanting to take pictures with everybody, every single female fan. He was, 'take a picture, take a picture, take a picture,' he doesn't care. Now though he doesn't want the photos taken, with Diane [being so jealous], because it interferes. Because then she gives him a hard time and then he can't go. The hooking up that goes on it's just, it's crazy.”

-----

Alright! That’s what I got! I don’t know if he is going to out more or not. He seemed like he wanted to dig around and see if he could find out if she had a sperm donor. I am still on the fence about her even carrying a kid! I also wanted to know a little more about the TH. So, I guess we will have to see if he outs more!

I’ll try and get the audio up soon after I splice it into parts!

[murdocsagaypirate]

Andromeda

So guess what? We have a song by 2D on Humanz. We know this because the original marked-up lyrics sheet can be found in his room.... hey... guess who it’s about...  . god i need a fucking break from these two. I’m about to actually rip your fucking heart out with my bare hands....

So first of all we know the irl context of this song. Damon has talked about how he thought about both Bobby Womack's death and his friend's mother’s death... and like, idk, maybe this idea would piss people off, but I but I feel like it’s obvious Damon is going to has a personal story behind every song he writes, but he clearly still takes the time to contextualize them FOR Gorillaz and write, to a certain extent, from one of the member perspectives. So I don’t believe it’s fair to say “Damon says it’s about real people he knows, so he can’t be written by 2D.” and I’m like, “Of all songs on Humanz why is it the only one in 2D’s room?...” Anyway, Damon contextualized the whole song with, “Take the worst possible outcome and be brave and remember all the goodness that preceded that. All the beauty that preceded that.“ ... which yeah. that 2D phase 4 for ya’. 

The other thing is that the lyrics are different is really interesting ways between the page in 2D’s room and the final lyrics... so we def gonna talk ‘bout both..

When the passing looks to die for Take it in your heart now, lover When the case is out And tired and sodden Take it in your heart

When you’re tired of the strain of the relationship/in life in general, remind yourself of the fleeting moments of precious connection, passing glances. Hold on to them, take it to heart.

2D’s original lyrics:

When the passing looks to die for (There are a few weird marks) Something in my heart lite up When the case is out/race was art Tired and sodden Take me in your arms Take me in your heart

LMAO I WANT TO DIE. Um. he fucking loves him SO MUCH, and this is so evident of that, and it HUUURTS me. Where the first verse was saying “when it’s bad, just try to remember when it was good.” this verse is saying “When things get bad, just hold me and be there.” fuck my life up dude, 2D isn’t ok. 

Back to when it was cool 'Cause there's no substitute Who even knows the truth? The truth, the truth

Let’s go back to when things weren’t this bad, because I can’t replace you or those moments you give me... Probably the truth in question is what Murdoc’s saying like “I’m trying to be better.” idk. vague.

Take it in your heart now, lover Take it in your heart, heart, heart, heart Where it all goes down

You know like, in your heart, where you process all your feelings. Put your love and moments of joy in there... >_> lover... 

Outside, cold and ghosting out with jet lag I took it to the right man (2D: churchman) Took it all back When the courts were closing

I think he literally means he has jetlag and it’s cold outside.. or I mean if we MUST take it as a metaphor, he’s tired and alone after a long journey. I took my feelings and emotions to someone who I thought was the right man and then I took them back, became distant it. as far as “churchman” goes he could be more referring to repentance or personal troubles then emotions, but he ended up not giving it away like letting the burden be lifted. He might also be saying he took his issues to someone wiser but didn’t listen to their advice. “Souk Eye echoes that idea of loving someone when you know someone else would tell you it’s a bad idea) It’s great that we have the “churchman” line because it gives great context to “The courts were closing”. I’m actually just going to quote the Genius annotation because I couldn’t explain it better myself: “The word “court” can be often metaphorically/Biblically described as “the outer body.” One body part that shows on the outer body is the “eyes,” which are the windows to the soul. So, when the “eyes” were closing, could mean “of people closing their eyes,” which could be interpreted in various ways. 1) Falling asleep. 2) Turning a blind eye to someone or something. Apathy. (ignorance; the ignoring of undesirable information). 3) Hiding one’s soul.” ...... YUP. 

It was Bobby gracing I know that I put it to the right man He put it back

He's referring to Boddy Womack, who sung on Stylo, Damon felt like he “graced” his life, he passed away in the years between PB and Humanz...  Echoing “I took it back”, he’s saying “the right man” put the issues he brought to him to help him with were “put back”... he didn’t actually help at all. 

Caught in your eyes Stacks of lights Come streaming back Make it for the best times Growing pains, good times Good times, good times

When I look into your eyes, and when you let me SEE, I’m suddenly reminded of all the goodness in you and between us. Let’s keep going for the sake of finding more good times. It’s painful to keep going and learn and grow, but he feels like it’s worth it and he’s just gonna keep holding on to those memories until they get there. (...or fade away and stop being powerful enough to hold him there like Cybor warns of in Domcamatic) 

Andromeda

Andromeda is a galaxy, and the most distant set of bodies we can actually see in the sky. Look up into the pitch black night, and remember all those distant points of light, good memories, just out of reach. 

[prescxtts]

HEEYYY !! i’m so excited to be here omg.. i’m SOOO late as always but anyway.. i creeped on this before the revamp but never had the guts to join ?? i’m glad i did now tho.. anyway, hello, i’m mel.. 20, gmt+2.. so.. worst timezone probably. this is noah.. he’s a revamped character of mine under a diff name and i’m so happy to be playing him (sorta) again. i wrote a bit aobut him below and i’ll set up an actual bio page tomorrow since it’s like.. 4am.. AJSDFJKD

a HARRY STYLES lookalike just rolled into new york city in their ferrari. noah prescott just had a birthday bash for his twenty second birthday. i doubt he’ll make it here in new york city since i hear he tends to be abrasive, but on the other hand he is intrepid. ( cismale & he/him )

noah was born to a famous musician and the producer behind her success. his family was known in the entertainment industry for years and their legacy ran deep.

he obviously has a lot of responsibilities that come with having a last name like his and he has a lot to prove once he’s out in the spotlight.

his parents controlled his life growing up to a certain extent. they weren’t exactly strict .. not unless the family image was at risk. they had to ensure he’d still keep up with his school work and get the best grades while also keeping up with extracurricular activities and music lessons. in a way, they also picked out his friends for him which resulted in a lot of surface level friendships.

as long as he did everything they signed him up for, they pretty much didn’t care what his weekends were like? so they didn’t mind him going out to parties when he was old enough and coming home late or bringing girls home every night. they didn’t mind the alcohol and drug use either.. again, as long as he was sober in the morning and it didn’t affect his grades etc.. they really didn’t care. 

that eventually started affecting him when he realized he wasn’t getting any attention and his parents weren’t around for the important things. he wasn’t ever validated and he felt ignored most of the time.. like his needs and feelings weren’t a priority at all.

because of this, he started to rebel against his parents more and it’s surprising to them when it really shouldn’t be.. and it’s more so for attention and well, maybe to piss them off a little. 

like it fucks him up a little that his parents know little to nothing about him or his personality because they have a false image of him in their minds and they’re just now realizing that he’s not who they thought he was... and it just breaks his heart cause he doesn’t feel like he was ever really validated or accepted LOL.. it was always about the plan rather than what noah wanted to do/liked to do.. not once. but he’ll never say that out loud.

he kinda just changed entirely. if i had to put a label on him, it’d be the connard.

here’s another thing with his parents.. his dad cheats a lot and his mom KNOWS about all his affairs .. at first noah was confused.. didn’t know that she knew until his mom just casually brought it up in a convo and he was shook like.. u knew this whole time..

his mom loves appearing perfect and that’s why she won’t grant his dad a divorce because she wants a perfect looking family in the spotlight. 

the affair affected his mom more than his dad and so she turned a bit obsessed with noah’s career and which direction to take it in. it kinda became her next ‘project’ and she wanted to dictate everything pretty much.. down to what genre he’d go into.

that’s why he hasn’t released any music yet.. his mom wants him to do mainstream stuff but it’s truly not who he is as an artist and he wants to do what he pleases. she thinks his type of music is meaningless and obnoxious and quote on quote ‘non-profitable’ but he just wants to do something meaningful and stick to what he likes, rather than what would sell the most copies.

he still feels pressure being a prescott and deep down, it really makes him insecure.. he’s scared he won’t live up to people’s expectations and have a successful career like his parents. irrelevancy is his biggest fear basically. and though it always appears like he has it all together, he’s just exhausted from having soo much to live up to and sometimes wishes he could just step back from it all. 

he can come off as immature sometimes.. a bit incompetent even, but when he’s in the studio, he’s ready to give it his all and just overall, he’s really professional when it comes to his music. anything else? he pretty much has no interest in.. so he’ll continue to immaturely brush off.

personality wise.. he’s kinda bluster. he can be frustrating sometimes because he likes getting under people’s skin. he lives 2 provoke but hates being provoked LMAO.. will lash out if that happens.. he has a bit of a temper too.

he can be stubborn, thinking he’s right all the time etc.. even when he’s not. he says the wrong shit all the time tbh and it ends up hurting people bc he just doesn’t know how not to? sometimes he’ll do it on purpose if he’s trying to hurt someone. 

in his defense, he wants to be a better person. be kinder, softer but then again, he doesn’t know how. being an asshole has worked fine for him so far.

his parents weren’t really around for him when he was growing up when it came to important stuff and they never really discussed his feelings. they weren’t the kind of family to vent to one another or talk about their problems so he kinda just new to keep everything bottled up. that carried over to now and he just doesn’t know how to truly talk about feelings.. so he also is really bad if people come crying to him about stuff cause he’s just like .. huh.. tears make me uncomfortable .. 

ughghgh,.. my mind is all muddled rn and i have sooo much i wanna add and a lot of things to tweak in this but i’m getting tired and i have a feeling this is all over the place.. i’m sorry if it feels hectic SFJDKSJ i’m a mess.. he’s a mess ugh! whatever. if we’re plotting and i remember something suddenly i’ll let u know but for now... i guess we’ll see where he goes .

[hidewari]

ROBAE!! How was the movie?

It wasn’t bad but I’m not sure if it was as good as I was expecting either. I’d probably give it like a 5.5 or 6 out of 10 but I did enjoy it just because it was Tokyo Ghoul.

I’ll go into more detail but there are spoilers past here, though the movie is pretty much the same as the manga so if you’ve read that, there isn’t much to spoil.

It was more faithful to the manga than the anime was but I’m not sure that’s objectively a good thing? The thing is, I think it was a little too faithful; the story telling works fine in the manga because the manga has a fuck ton of time to tell its story, but using very similar pacing like that in a movie just feels weird? I just felt like the pacing was quite odd especially at the beginning; it took quite a lot of time for things to start happening and some scenes felt too brief, particularly the opening with Hide and Kaneki in Anteiku (though Hide was cute asf lmao)

Some of the shots were also pretty weird, like there were so many instances where the characters would just sit in awkward silence for a while or the camera would focus on a closeup of Kaneki’s face for like thirty seconds for no particular reason.

The fight scenes were also a little oddly done because they didn’t flow very well. They’d flow nicely for a bit and then it would cut away to something else at what felt like an odd time and then cut back to the fight scene where the two characters who were just fighting are now standing opposite from eachother in silence for another few seconds before fighting again ?? The fight between Amon and Kaneki was probably the best one and that one had some awkward pauses but the fight between Touka and Mado had so many stops in it that it just felt weird and didn’t flow at all.

But yeah, the movie had a lot of characters just standing around awkwardly which felt a bit weird to me.

The soundtrack was alright but a lot of scenes didn’t have any music at all where I think they could have benefited from adding some music to set an atmosphere and the soundtrack wasn’t really memorable. Like, I normally don’t realise when there isn’t any music playing because silence is used well to established atmosphere, but in this movie, it sort of felt like the silence was more awkward than atmospheric.

It also felt like the cast was extremely small which kind of made the movie feel very limited. Like it focused on Kaneki, Hinami, Ryouko and Touka at times and ONLY them and it felt kind of empty in a way. They could have easily fixed this too; having Nishiki hang around or, instead of throwing Hide in the hospital for the entire movie, have him come to Anteiku randomly to liven the scenes up a bit like they did in the anime. Hide pretty much showed up a couple times, then Nishiki knocked him out and that was it. He was out of the movie completely for the rest of the whole thing up until the very end where we get a scene of him sitting in the hospital for a few seconds out of nowhere.

Speaking of Hide, the scene with Nishiki disappointed me somewhat. Nishiki was really well done and the actor who played him was good. The scene took place within Kamii itself and it played out well and everything, but it really didn’t do a good job of portraying how important Hide was to Kaneki at all. That scene always felt, to me, like it was supposed to elevate Hide and Kaneki’s relationship from a simple friendship in the reader’s eyes, since we get an explanation of how Hide supported Kaneki for most of his life and how he was the only person he really had, but the movie didn’t really do any of that. The most it did to show Hide’s importance was have Kaneki say “he’s my only friend” and then cry over his body a bit before licking all over his face.

Additionally, we didn’t get any sort of nod to Hide’s perceptiveness whatsoever. Like, in the manga we at least get him noticing that Kaneki isn’t eating well and Nishiki says that Hide’s dangerous because he just plays dumb etc. etc. but in the movie, Nishiki just says some super dodgy shit to Kaneki right in front of Hide (something about Kaneki deciding to cut off his friendship with Hide now) and Hide kind of just completely ignores it and isn’t even in frame before he gets up and suggests going out to eat. The most we got to allude to Hide not really being what he seems was Nishiki pointing at him and saying “this guy gives me the creeps,” without elaborating on that at all.

Having said that, Hide was still fantastic. I think Hide’s actor probably delivered my favourite performance alongside Mado, Koma and Kusaba’s actors who did a good job. Hide’s actor was lively and his performance felt genuine and I think he did a fantastic job at capturing Hide’s joviality. Koma seemed almost like a different character but he was a fantastic character; I actually liked movie Koma more than canon Koma lmao (Also, Yomo was hot.)

Speaking of characters, I feel like they neglected Rize’s role quite a bit. They sort of tried to convey that Kaneki saw her separately from himself as his ghoul side, but they only did this by having him hallucinate her in his apartment once and then see her reflection before he was about to eat Hide and then she fucked off for the rest of the movie which made her feel very forgotten.

There was also some random scene between the beam incident and Kaneki waking up in the hospital where they decided to explain that Kaneki’s mother died of overwork for some reason when it had absolutely no baring on the rest of the movie whatsoever and was never mentioned again ??? Like that would have been a good thing to establish if you were going to try to use that to develop Kaneki and Hide’s relationship during the Nishiki scene but you didn’t ??? It just felt very randomly thrown in there.

I know there was a bunch of debate about the kagune CGI and I get why now. I thought the kagune looked pretty good closeup, but when they had to actually animate them fighting or releasing their kagune, it looked pretty bad honestly. Nishiki’s kagune was probably the worst culprit; the movement didn’t seem natural and I don’t remember all that well but I feel like they might have overdone it on the motion blur.

My last criticism is mostly just a personal preference but I didn’t like Kaneki’s actor, to be honest. I think his acting was kind of bad at some points, particularly in scenes where he had to act scared. I know loads of people liked him but I just didn’t feel like he captured the character as well as I would have liked, and I REALLY like the stage play actors for Kaneki; they did a fantastic job. This guy just felt like he was kind of low energy and a lot of his acting felt too fake to me, personally.

Having thrown out all that criticism, I do have some good things to say. I really liked the Easter eggs they threw in there, particularly the literature references. The scene in Kaneki’s apartment where he’s stuffing his face with food and starts throwing up everywhere has a part where he hallucinates Rize and she kind of crawls on top of him before the camera pans up to the ceiling and there’s the shadow of a giant insect on the ceiling. My friend thought that alluded to the whole centipede thing but it didn’t look as much like a centipede to me; I thought it was supposed to be a reference to Kafka’s “Metamorphosis” and I like that they threw that in there since literature references are something I really appreciate in Tokyo Ghoul.

They also included Herman Hesse since they had Kaneki read the quote about the world being an egg to Hinami, but they tried to explain the metaphor afterwards and I think they kind of sucked the grandeur out of it with a simplistic explanation lmao

But yeah, over all it wasn’t too bad, but I feel like it’s something only fans of the series will enjoy and I’m not so sure it works well as a movie just by itself without the context of the manga or anime. I’m still not too sure if I prefer the anime or the movie, but I think the pacing of the anime was at least less off putting ? I still recommend watching it if you like TG since there are aspects you’ll be able to appreciate for sure and it’s always fun seeing a new take on the story.

[siochan-leat]

Thor: Ragnarok Review

Now that my brain is properly working again, I think I’m able to construct my review of the film. On a whole, my spoiler-free review is that this is probably the best film Marvel has done. And they took some risks with it - a different kind of director (cos, let’s face it, Taika Waititi is about as different as they come), different sets designs and concept, and the atmosphere of the film was lighter and definitely more comedic than an action film typically is. Which was said when “The Avengers” came out - ‘we didn’t expect it to be so funny!!’ Well...this time we’re dealing with the end of a planet and the extinction of a people….it’s tough to make THAT hilarious.

The best way I can review this film properly is to talk about the characters themselves instead of me nattering on.

Oh and tagging @lokiperfection and @quoting-shakespeare-to-ducks cos they might be the only ones who read this, LOL

So, be warned here be spoilers ahead…

Thor: Thank you Taika, for finally giving us the Thor film we’ve been waiting for! He was absolutely brilliant is this film - outrageously humorous from the very first scenes, still chucking around Mjolnir like nobody’s business ( that is, until...well he doesn’t have it anymore), ready to fight anyone or thing that messes with him or his friends, and still VERY MUCH the pig headed hothead he’s always been. But...there was something more endearing about this incarnation of Thor. We can tell he’s…changed. Maybe it was all that running around the cosmos trying to find himself that made the difference? It’s hard to tell. But once his hammer is broken, I think he finally realizes that must rely on something else for once - he must find his other strength(s) and find his true power. Odin quite rightly says to him in his Big Moment of Weakness, “Are you The God of Hammers?” No, Thor is the God of THUNDER, so he has no choice but to find that power and tap into it if he and those who join him have ANY chance of defeating Hela. He also realizes WHEN he needs to ask for help comes into play here too (scene with Heimdall and Odin in particular).

He’s also the Imperfect Hero here - flawed, uncertain, clumsy and yeah, things can be badly timed. Just cos you’re “Asgard’s Golden Boy” doesn’t mean you can’t make mistakes.

And I now want to refer to him from now on as “Sparkles.”

The scenes with The Hulk and his brother, Loki I found especially endearing and wonderful, but more about that later.

Loki: As a devoted Loki Fangirl, I was expecting much of this character and THANK THE GODS, Taika and Tom did NOT let us down. We also finally got the Loki we’ve been waiting for since Tom donned the helmet back in 2011. Here, Loki is at his very best - chaotic, snarky,mischievous, deadpan gut-bustingly funny,  the full-tilt diva, but also the insecure, hurt, wounded soul. I remember as many of you will, Tom speaking about Loki and saying, “The opposite of love isn't hate; it’s indifference.” And that is so so very clear in this film it’s just remarkable. I think the very real possibility that Thor is now indifferent to his brother really REALLY bothers Loki and the scene that PERFECTLY CAPTURES THIS is where Loki projects himself into the dungeon room on Sakaar to plead with his brother….and Thor just sits there, tossing rocks at him, with no expression on his face. Loki finally, after getting no reaction, says “ would you say something? SAY SOMETHING!” And Thor’s response is so perfect!!! ‘You did all this bad shit and you’re gonna keep doing more and more of it,  so…?”

Even more so when Loki betrays Thor for the umpteenth time after “Get Help” and what Loki doesn’t see coming is that Thor knew it was gonna happen. So he has a chat with Loki whilst being on floor with the shock collar thingy, cos maybe that’s the only way he will actually LISTEN,  and says to him (i’m paraphrasing here), “we just keep going around and around like this….when will you get it, that in order to grow you must change?? You are (just) the God of Mischief….but (when?) you could be MORE…”

I have more to say about him in “Scenes I Loved”. Cos he was in a LOT of them. Ehehehe

Odin:  So...the AllFather is in exile and he’s got some big explaining to do. I know every family has secrets they’d rather keep tucked away somewhere, and yeah maybe he was trying to protect his loved ones and the whole of Asgard from the Royal Family’s dirty laundry, but WOW. You didn’t think your people deserved to know that The Goddess of Death was gonna come for everyone once i’m dead,  and oh by the way she’s Thor’s sister and my first born and we kinda destroyed whole civilizations together.

I’m sorry…...WHAT?!?!

Back the Family Tree up here!!!

But Odin knows he fucked up. BIG time. And his sons and Asgard’s people are unfortunately gonna pay the price for it. Unless,  his sons come together (haha) & do something about it and end up saving them. Cos they’re Thor and Loki’s people now to save.

Hela: Ooooooh, yesssss. HELA YES. Bless you Cate Blanchett, for doing this role cos NO ONE could’ve done this better. She was magnificent as only Cate could make her - that narrowing of her eyes, THAT STRUT OF MURDEROUS INTENT, that sly snark to her voice and,  i’m sorry, but if her and Loki are not blood related, I’m calling BULLSHIT.You couldn’t ignore the parallels between Hela and Loki if you TRIED, cos there were just SO MANY of them!!! There’s one scene towards the end of the film where Thor is on the throne and Hela is before him explaining something and the camera goes to a wide shot behind Thor and for a moment, in that wide shot, if i didn't know it was Hela standing there, I could’ve SWORN it was LOKI.

Perhaps that’s why Odin was so hard on Loki for so long? Because he had seen and experienced first hand what powerful greed and destructive ambition actually results in??? That’s my guess anyways.

Heimdall: Really, the TRUE saviour of Asgard. It made me a bit uncomfy to think that Heimdall was and is considered an enemy of the Crown, even after Odin’s exile and Loki’s takeover. But Heimdall is this film had a singular purpose and we knew that he could see Hela coming for Asgard so his sole purpose was to save as many Asgardians as he could and stash them up in the mountains (Mines of Moria, anyone? *snickers*) until he could make for the Bifrost to get them off the planet. Idris Elba, as always, was superior.

The Grandmaster: In my humble opinion, Jeff Goldblum’s greatest role and performance since Jurassic Park. He was the Jeff Goldblum-iest Jeff Goldblum EVER.

The Hulk: I thought, like most of us, that Mark Ruffalo was the best thing to ever happen to Bruce Banner/Hulk and i still DO, even more so now because of this movie. Hulk here is a different Hulk; he’s still a hothead and very temper driven, but he’s revered on Sakkar as a Gladiatorial Champion and he really seems to love the attention and all the “winning”. I’m glad he has more lines in this movie and we get to see a bit more of his personality, and not just Banner’s. I really like his man-child way of speaking, it really gives him a very likable “gentle giant” quality, well...gentle when he WANTS to be. When he said “Please?” I think i felt my heart turn to goo.

Valkyrie: UHH YAAAAAS QUEEN!!! I love love love LOVED this character OMGGG. There’s not much to not like about her ( well….maybe the whole “traitor to Asgard” that Thor accuses her of being…?) She gives absolutely ZEROS FUCKS, she drinks like a fish, kicks fucking ass and takes names, also has a Strut of Murderous Intent, and looks FLAWLESS. I think she and the Ravagers would get along VERY WELL. But, once Loki gets into her head and Thor kinda tells her not to run from her problems anymore, I like that she does a bit of an “about-face” and realizes that Asgard…..is still home for her and is in real trouble, no matter how much she tries to deny or forget her past. But she will help and join in on  her terms.

And um, the whole ship jumping scene?!?!?! ASDFGHJKLKL!!!

Korg: Easily my fave new character of the MCU (sorry Groot). Every single scene he was in had me busting a gut laughing and he’s just so….CUTE!!! And, can we also appreciate that the director of this film was able to be an integral character in it too?!? Like….how often does that happen?? Almost never!

And thank you, Taika for making me fall in love with an animate pile of rocks. I haven’t been so smitten since Rockbiter and Rockbiter Jr. in the Neverending Story Films.

Skurge: I really liked Karl Urban in this role, but the character itself was kind blah for me. He agrees to be Hela’s executioner so he can “ have a chance to prove myself”, but every time Hela does something, he has second thoughts. In every scene he has a double take of “should i really be doing this??” It kinda felt after a while like, did he not get she’s the Goddess of Death? What did he think she was gonna do? Kill people with candy floss? It’s like it took him the entire movie to get up enough courage to back out of the deal and go against Hela, which he’s promptly killed for.

Surtur: I didn’t know anything about this character going into the film, so all I can say was that he seemed to be a bit of an egomaniac fire demon at the start of the film (all that monologuing…..yeeesh!) but once he was reborn and grew big and scary, I was more convinced and freaked out. Him shoving his flaming sword into the heart of Asgard and making in go BOOM was very VERY COOL.

Scenes / Things I Loved

- The Tragedy of Loki whole play scene. Great cameos by Liam Hemsworth, Matt Damon and Sam Neill. And Loki turning and saying to Skurge, “ you had ONE. JOB.” LMAO

- Thor and Loki in Midgard. THE BLACK SUIT OF SEX.

- The whole Dr. Strange scene.

- Thor and Loki seeing Odin for the last time (not counting Thor’s visions) in Norway. I think this scene was more...emotional for Loki than Thor cos I don’t think Loki knew how Odin was going to react to him being there. But once Odin turns to him and tells him “...took me quite a while to break free from your spell...Frigga would’ve been proud…” , I think all was forgiven in that moment. And to solidify this, Odin says that he loves “his sons”, and that he’s failed them both. I spent most of this scene focusing on Loki’s face and it was hard to watch Tom’s face as Odin’s spirit  “left”. It was just….heartbreaking.

- Thor in the wheelchair in the tunnel before meeting the Grandmaster. The “Willy Wonka” music made me laugh SO HARD!

- The Grandmaster.

- Thor finding Loki alive and Loki’s reaction to Thor being alive. And oh god that whole “Shhhhhh! SHHH!” thing Tom did??? ASDFGJLAKSDASJHHASFKJAHS

- The dungeon scene between Loki’s projection and Thor

- STAN LEE’S CAMEO. THE BEST EVER.

- Korg. All of Korg, all the frickin TIME.

- Thor finding/unleashing his Thunder & Lightning powers while Hulk is beating him up. The flashes to Odin were an awesome touch

- Thor Shirtless for almost 2 minutes. HHHNNNNGG. Another Very Important Plot Point. And thank youuuuu Taika for circling the camera around and around DAT BOD. O_O

- Pretty much all the stuff with Thor and Hulk in Hulk’s apartment. Especially the sit-down chat on the bed where Hulk gets Haiku poetic.

- Thor asking Heimdall to help him to “See”.

- FENRIR.

- Loki and Valkyrie’s scene. I love that she calls him “Lucky” *snicker snicker*

The elevator scene and “get help”

- Valkyrie and Thor jumping on and off various ships in MID AIR. O_O

- The scene with Thor and Odin in Thor’s Moment of Weakness.

- Thor kicking ass on the Bifrost at his full power. AWW YEAAAAH!!

- Loki’s arrival back in Asgard. And the helmet flip. And him fighting. And….and….ALL OF IT.

- “We’re gonna need a ship with cupholders, cos we’re gonna die,  so DRINKS!!!”

- “Darling...you have no idea what’s possible”

- “It varies from moment to moment.” ( not so much the line but HOW he SAID IT! GUHHH!!!)

- “It's a bold move, brother. Even for me”.

- The final scene between Hela and Surtur. 3D was MADE for that scene alone.

Things I Didn’t Love

- Thor immediately blaming Loki for Odin’s death. I think it was unfair of him to jump to that conclusion. Yes, he was in exile, yes Loki may have put him there, but how was Loki to know that Odin was coming to the end of his life? Maybe Odin didn’t want his sons to know that he was dying so he covered it up much like he did everything else.

- The way Hulk turned back into Banner. I found it very hard to buy Bruce and Natasha’s love story in Ultron, and we have to deal with it yet again in this film. I found it equally hard to swallow that Banner was trapped in Hulk for 2 YEARS and the moment he sees and hears Natasha, that THAT is what changes him back??!?!? I don’t buy it.

- The Loki shock collar scene. I can understand why Thor did it, but i think there must've been a better way to reason with his brother, even if he attempted to betray him yet again. I don’t agree that Thor simply left Loki there to suffer for hours and hours. If you recall every other time Thor was shocked with the collar it DID shut off after a while. We have no real way of knowing how long he was on the floor before he was found by Korg and his crew.

- How mangey Fenrir looked. I know, i know, he’s been dead for a while, i just thought when he was reborn, he’d look a little less dead.

- Some of Hela’s monologuing. And most of Surtur’s.

Things I have theories about. Or the Internet does

- How Loki made it onto the ship that made it out of Asgard. He goes from releasing Surtur on Asgard in Asgard’s basement to being on the ship….but we never see him actually board the ship. My theory is that he was either able to project himself onto the ship once it began to leave and his real form followed soon afterwards OR the Loki we saw in Asgard’s basement WAS the projection and his magic was strong enough to release Surtur from afar.

- Whose ship was that that appeared in the extra end scene? Internet theories seem to think it’s Thanos’ ship, which makes sense since Loki did kinda cheat him out of the Tesseract. But if that’s what Thanos is after and Asgard is no longer…..perhaps Loki was able to take it with him before releasing Surtur?

If you made it ALL THE WAY DOWN HERE.....YAAAAAY YOU GET A COOKIE AND A HUG!!!

[betta-resplendent]

Flannel and fog, for the Autumn asks :)

Autumn Asks~

This is about to get long so I’m so sorry. Long stories under the cut, just in case lmao.Flannel: Have you ever gone on a bad date?    Yes and no. I regret staying with him as long as I did. It was a big red flag.Fog: How well do you think you’d do in a zombie apocalypse scenario?     Oh my god not well at all. Honestly I’d probably hole up for a week or two to see if it blows over quickly, and if zombies don’t eat me I’d probably find the nearest painless way to die tbh. Nope nope nope. 

Flannel: Have you ever gone on a bad date?

     OOF. Right out the gate! I…Hm. This is complicated. So, the answer is both ‘yes’ and ‘no’. Yes, because it was a s h i t t y time, no, because it…technically wasn’t a date. So, my first (and only) boyfriend was - and still is, he’s married now and I’d feel bad for her if she wasn’t ALSO a bit of a narcissist so they’re a perfect fit, not that I’m bitter - a complete prick. He was self centered and rude. I could never say anything about something I was interested in without him immediately changing the subject. He’d talk about his previous ‘exploits’ with a classmate of ours and would even go into great detail about their endeavors. When I told him about being assaulted when I was younger by a girl he knew and talked about/to a lot and that I didn’t want to talk about her at all, he proceeded to say “Well she lives in st louis now so it shouldn’t be a big deal.”

    And that’s BEFORE he ‘forbade me’ to have back surgery. This was h i g h  s c h o o l. Bitch I do what I want.

    ANYWAY, that’s all to set the scene for our ‘date’, if you can call it that. I invited him out to the Marigold Festival (TOPICAL) with my mother and I, and our friends. He called it a date, I…didn’t, but it was as close to a ‘date’ as I’d get so fuck it, it’s a date. So, first off the moment we got there he did nothing but complain about the heat. It’s September, early September, it’s a perfectly clear day so the sun is BRUTAL, plus we were surrounded by concrete. The rest of us ignore him and cross the street and head out into the crowd. He complains about the crowd. He complains about the crafts. He talks endlessly about our friend ‘Amber’, who isn’t there, and who we’d already fallen out with. I’ve got a cane, and he decided it’d be funny to mock me by offering to buy me a walking stick from one of the vendors. When I asked why he said “well that one isn’t very cool”. Tbf, no, it wasn’t. But it was all my family could a f f o r d, so shove it. 

     The whole time, what was supposed to be super fun and enjoyable ended up being utter misery for me. I don’t know how everybody else felt, but after that it was more of a ‘stick it out and pretend to be happy’ sort of scenario. We finally got to leave (after I was guilted by him when I bought a cute little plushy because I ‘clearly didn’t have the money for it’), mom bought us all lunch, and most everybody went home. 

    Except him. He apparently brought a copy of TES: Oblivion with him to play on an xbox 360 he’d let me borrow. He let me play through the tutorial, but if I even d a r e d  move away from the path he wanted me to travel, he’d be insistent that it wasn’t ‘the right way to play’. I got frustrated and just handed the controller to him to play, and eventually started playing Fatal Frame 3 on my ps2. We kept conversation going through our respective games, and the m o m e n t  it got fairly normal he said, and I quote: “Why do you play that stupid ghost shit?”

    It really bothered me tbh. Like, I spent my birthday money to get him Halo. I bargain hunted to find posters and figurines for his birthday, got him his favorite chocolate and other candies, bought him books and MADE him several cards and other things with what I had available…and he slammed every single thing that I liked. Video games, anime, books, movies, tv shows…anything, he slammed it down every chance he got and wouldn’t even let me voice my opinion on things before interrupting me and speaking above me. We had a lot of ‘dates’ like that, but that one’s the one that stands out the most. I’m not a great person either but j e s u s. To this day I just don’t voice my opinions IRL to anybody outside my small circle for fear of somebody doing that. He and his wife tried to be friendly with me recently when I went to a baby shower for a mutual friend, but I wasn’t having it tbh. I just ignored them. 

OOF sorry for the novel lmfao!