#also if you made it through to the end congrats i have no idea what im doing anymore

[reidmania]

STILL | spencer reid

summary ; loosing based off still by niall horan. You and spencer broke up and when you see him at a bar a month later everything comes back.

warnings; this is long pure angst with a (?) happy (?) hopeful ending. imma say female reader because there so many little things that indicate that. hella miscommunication, arguing, drinking, jealous spencer, i think its a happy ending idk tbh, let me know if i missed anything

a/n ; this is 4k words. i did not intend that at all, i honestly got so insanely carried away. im so sorry.

You regretted everything, in this moment more than any other. You didn't know how you were possibly stupid enough to be dragged into going out tonight. When your coworkers approached you with the idea of going out for drinks after work as a way to celebrate your promotion, you shouldn't of let yourself get sucked in. It took some convincing till you eventually gave in, but you did -- give in.

Going home to change may not have been the best idea, since it gave you enough time to realise what you were doing and how much you really didn't want to go but you knew your coworkers wouldn't accept your cancelation. So instead you made yourself look presentable, good even.

Things had been difficult to say the least over the last month, while things at work were great, mentally everything was horribly. It had been a month since you and Spencer broke up. A month since the last time the two of you talked.

He had called a few times, but you could never bring yourself to answer despite how badly you wanted to talk to him, some night you would spend hours unable to sleep, staring at his contact, although you never went through will calling him, too scared he wouldn't answer.

Once dressed you left, calling an uber because you knew it was a bad idea to even take your car -- the whole point was to drink, and you would need to drink. As much as you loved your coworkers, you could only handle so much social interaction without liquor in your system.

Arriving, you noticed the group of your coworkers waiting for you outside. You pushed a smile to your lips as you approached them. You had many coworkers of course, but you had your bunch who you worked with closely, the ones here with you now.

Elise was your work best friend, you and her worked side by side everyday. She was the one who convinced you to come out. Ethan was another one who you worked with closely, but weren't nearly as close with. Frank was older, he was almost like the father of your job, and then there was Chelsea who was literally franks daughter, she was nice, easy to get along with.

"Theres they are!!" Elise said excitedly, you appreciated the way they all dressed up. You were met with a bundle of flowers, being held out by Ethan. "We got you these, as a congrats present" He smile.

You're entire face warmed as your chest did too. You were lucky to be surrounded by a group of people who cared as much as they did. "Aw, Thank you guys." You smiled widely as you took the flowers, not knowing what you were going to do with them inside the bar -- but you figured you'd worry about that later.

You followed them inside the bar, instantly finding a table. Everything sunk into place, everyone talking and chatty after ordering drinks and a round of shots, -- it was great.

But there was something missing.

You tried not to think about it as you swirled your straw around your glass, filled with alcohol. "You look bored" You turned your head to face Elise. You pushed a soft chuckle pass your lips, shaking your head.

"Im not bored" You denied, because you weren't. You were just waiting and hoping that the pit of empitiness in your stomach would disapear so you could enjoy yourself. She frowned, "Come on, Lets go get shots" She said, offering her hand which you took gracefully.

As you walked over to the table where your coworkers were sitting at to find out if they also wanted another round of shots or not, Elise grew sidetracked, helping Chelsea out with the zipper of her dress that was breaking.

"Ill come with you" Ethan opted, making you smile gratefully as you thanked him. The two of you wandered through the bar, through the crowd of people before you finally reached the bar.

You and ethan made small talk as you waited for the bartender. When he finally came, Ethan ordered. A round of tequila shots. The bartender nodded, it was busy -- so he was doing everything fast. "I am not drinking tequila!!" You gasped as you looked at Ethan.

"Yeah you are" He smiled back.

The smile stayed on your face, "Tequila makes me sad" You said honestly. He pouted dramatically, although you can tell it was sarcastic. "Well we cant have that" He sighed just as dramatically, "I promise if you do get sad, we will make sure to cheer you up"

You smiled but couldn't help but doubt his words -- you knew what you'd get sad about, and you weren't sure anything he did would cheer you up from a sadness like that. The one you could feel in your whole body, every movement.

"Important night?" The bartender asked, as he poured the shots. You went to deny it, not wanting the attention but Ethan spoke before you could. "Yep" He said popping the P, "Pretty girl here got a promotion" He said, squeezing your shoulder softly.

You forced out a chuckle as the bartender congratulated you. Pretty girl was the nickname your coworkers had given you -- it was teasing at first and it started from Elise, but it kind of just stuck.

You got your shots and walked back through the bar holding the tray carefully, as you returned to the table you immediantly got a bad feeling in your stomach, something was off, something was wrong. You could see it in Elise's face as she looked at you.

"What?" You chuckled, furrowing your eyebrows as you placed the tray down on the table. She looked almost guilty, as she shook her head, brushing it off. "Nothing" She said, reaching out for a shot.

Your concern and confusion only grew. "What?" You asked again, there was obviously something wrong. You noticed Chelsea looking in a certain direction, the same direction Elise's eyes kept drifting over to.

Your eyebrows furrowed deeper as you turned your head to look in the direction they were, despite Elise' protests. You almost wish you listened. You felt your entire heart sink.

Your breath got caught in your throat as you locked eyes with him -- Spencer Reid. He was already looking at you when you turned your head. You stomach dropped so far you swore you could feel in in your pinky toe.

You heard your name, but you could hardly pull your eyes away from him. He looked good. So good it made your head spin in a million different directions at once. Hearing your name again you finally pulled your eyes away from his, turning your head to face Elise who had concern lacing her features.

"Oh- Gosh- Are you okay?" She rushed.

You felt like your chest had been stepped on. You didn't say anything, instead reaching for the shot glass that remained, and downing it instantly. "I need to get drunk." You muttered.

"Whos that?" Ethan asked, he wasn't quite as caught up in your love life as Elise and Chelsea were. Chelsea scoffed. "Her ex, He is an ass" She said, Elise was quick to nod in agreement. Frank stood minding his own business, but you knew he was listening, he was always listening.

"He's not" You defened, because he wasn't. If there was an ass in the breakup, it was you. You weren't sure what sucked more.

Before Chelsea or Elise could say anything you spoke first, "Can we go get more drinks-- and move closer to the bar, I think ill be going there a lot" You muttered, grabbing the boquet of flowers you had been given.

Everyone was quick to agree, taking their stuff before finding an empty table closer to the bar.

You did exactly as you thought you would -- 4 drinks later, you were a lot mor tipsy but nothing seemed to take the pressure off your chest or cool the heat that Spencer eyes left on you everytime you looked over to see him already looking.

When everyone was engrossed in coversation you excused yourself to the bar, feeling the need for another drink or ten. When you literally asked for the most alcoholic drink possible, the bartender laughed but agreed.

"Congraulations" You swore your heart dropped at the voice. Your hands froze in place and you could feel the sweat building on the back of your neck. You turned your head, finally facing him.

Your eyes ran over his features -- his hair had grown out, it looked good. You wanted to tell him that but you couldn't. "H-How do you.." You wondered how he knew about your promotion, you were sure it hadn't been posted anywhere.

He rolled his eyes, nudging his head towards the table where your coworkers sat, you turned you head to look at them, noticing Ethan's and Elise's eyes on you and Spencer. "Your boyfriend isn't exactly quiet." He muttered, there was something spiteful about the way he spoke.

You whipped your head around to face Spencer, eyebrows furrowed in confusion, before the realistion dawned on you -- He had heard Ethan tell the bartender about your promotion earlier. "He isn't my boyfriend--Why do you even care." You huffed.

Spencer scoffed quietly, "Yeah Im sure, The flowers and 'pretty girl' really prove that" His tone was laced with jealously. He was jealous. You shook your head as you pulled your eyes away from his face. "It's been a month" He muttered, quieter.

You frowned at the mention at how long it had been since the two of you broke up. "I am well aware of how long its been" You held back from calling him Spence, it was like muscle memory. "The flowers were from all of them" You defended, although there was no reason you needed to defend nor explain yourself to him. "And pretty girl- its a joke-- they all call me that." You muttered.

"I called you that."

His tone still held so much jealously but sounded so much sadder. It made your stomach clench on nothing but the alcohol you had consumed, you turned your head to face him before looking away again, unable to handle the way his expression pulled on your heartstrings.

"I know" You said just as quietly.

The bartender handed you your drink with an apology of how long it took -- you hadn't even noticed. Drink now in your hands yet you couldn't find it in yourself to move. You could smell Spencer's cologne and it was consuming your senses and making your mind fog.

Spencer ordered his own drink after the bartender asked, before he turned to look at you again. "I called." He said.

You wanted to cry-- you wanted to sink into the pit in your stomach and stay there forever. You felt yourself grow dizzy -- he made you dizzy. "I know" You said quietly, scared if you spoke any louder your voice would give out on you. it broke your heart to be standing here next to him, when he had no idea you loved him, when you had no idea if he ever loved you-- let alone if he still did.

He didn't say anything, you assumed it was because he didn't know what to say. He knew you were actively ignoring his calls-- What was there to say to that.

Spencer got handed his drink, he muttered a quiet thanks, but made no movement to leave his place next to you, you didn't either. Neither of you said anything. You felt as if your feet were glued in place -- although you weren't sure if you wanted to move either. It had been a month since you had seen him, and as much as it gutted you to think about, you didn't want to leave yet just incase this really was the last time.

"He isn't my boyfriend, he- he isn't anything more than a friend." You said again, although you didn't look at him, keeping your head down as you sipped your drink through your straw. You didn't need to push so hard for him to understand -- but the last thing you wanted was for Spencer to think you had moved on that quick, it almost offended you that he genuinely believed you did.

He opened his mouth to reply, but felt a hand on his back, cutting him off. He looked behind him to see Derek. "What's taking so long, Reid" He asked, a teasing smile on his face. You looked behind you at the sound of his voice, meeting his eyes his smile fell slightly as he realised what was taking Spencer so long.

"Hi derek" You pushed a smile to his lips - of course Spencer was here with his team, you should've realised that. They probably just got back from a case, which explained Spencer's business attire, but he wore that more often then not anyways.

"Hey!! How are you doing!" He smiled back, opening his arms to hug you gently. It was friendly a simple. You were close with a lot of Spencer's friends and team, being his plus one to everything for months. Penelope had reached out after you and Spencer broke up, but just like with Spencer you couldn't bring yourself to reply.

"Im okay, how are you?" You asked. You could feel Spencer's eyes on your face and it left a burning sensation where his eyes laid as you pulled away from Derek's hug. "Im good! We've missed you around shortcake" It was a nickname, because of a strawberry shortcake shirt you had worn one time when out with Spencer.

You just smiled in response. You missed them too, a lot. They were your friends, and you hated how you lost that and Spencer all at once, but they were his friends first. "I'll leave you guys be." You muttered, forcing a smile to your lips as you avoided Spencer's gaze, pushing off the bar.

Spencer said your name and it made your head spin, it felt so natural falling from his lips, like it belonged there. If you had to pick only one person to say your name for the rest of your life, it would be Spencer.

You kept walking none the less, holding your drink in your hand as you approached the table. You put it down gently as Chelsea and Elise were instantly at your side, asking what happened or if you were okay.

"I think Im going to go home" You muttered as you felt the all familiar tingle in the bridge of your nose, matching the lump in your throat and burn in the back of your eyes. It was too much.

"Do you want me to drive you?" Frank asked, the fatherily instincts coming into play when he noticed the look on your face -- there was no convincing you to stay. You just shook your head, "Im okay, Thank you" You muttered, as you began grabbing your stuff.

"I'll walk you out" Ethan offered, but you were quick to shake your head. You didn't need to look to know Spencer's eyes were on you from across the bar, the last thing you wanted was to only deepen his concern by leaving with Ethan. "I really just want to be alone." You said, pushing a half hearted smile to your lips, he frowned but nodded.

You said your goodbyes before pushing through the people in the bar towards the door. Once outside, it dawned on you how hot you were, the cold air giving your flushed cheeks a cooling sensation. You dragged your hand over your face as you tried to process what had just happened without bursting into tears.

You opened the uber app on your phone, wanting to get home to wallow in every emotion you had been pushing down for the last month. You should've known tonight was going to end badly.

"Theres been over 3,900 cases of sexual assult or physical violence from ubers"

You turned your head to see Spencer standing at the door to the bar, not far from you but not close. The street wasn't busy, it was dark and only lit by the streetlights.

"Thats less than one percent" You muttered, pulling your gaze away from him. "Who said I was getting an uber?" You asked, despite the fact that you were, it baffled you how he seemed to know everything all the time.

"You're alone, I cant see your car anywhere and the app is open on your phone" He said as if it was nothing. He was a profiler for godsake, of course he picked up on the tiniest things.

You sighed, closing your phone you placed it in your bag, "So what?" You asked, crossing your arms over your chest - now that the heat had somewhat worn off the cold air was leaving goosebumps over your arms.

"So, let me drive you home." He said.

Your eyes widened as you turned to look at him, shaking your head. "No. Its fine. I think I can handle less than one percent" You muttered, turning away from him again when the heat began rising to your cheeks again under his gaze.

You could hardly handle standing a foot away from him, you doubted you would be able to last a ten minute drive back to your house in the car next to him, you were sure the tension would suffocate you within seconds.

"Why do you do that" He asked taking a step closer to you. You were already resting with your back against the wall, there was no where for you to back away to even if you wanted to. You furrowed your eyebrows as you met his eyes, he looked sad.

"Do what?" You asked as your voice hitched, the pit in your stomach only deepening the more you looked at him, the closer he got the tighter your chest grew, the more he spoke the more your cheeks heated.

He sighed, "Push me away!" He raised his voice slightly, not in a way of anger but pure frustration. He was so frustrated.

"I don- We broke up Spencer" You reminded.

He rolled his eyes, "I know that. Trust me I know that." He muttered under his breath as he got closer to you. "You did it our entire relationship, pushed me away, held back, and then you broke up with me, why do you do that?" He said, brows furrowed as he genuinely tried to understand.

"You know why we broke up" You muttered quietly.

He threw his arms up in distress. "No- I really don't-" He said, before dragging his hand through his hair, only making it messy. You frowned, shaking your head as you reminded him. "We were both busy -- we hardly saw each other, our heads were in different places" your voice raised to the same level as his

"My head was with you!" He shook his head, "My head was always with you!" He sighed, he wasn't shouting, not really, but it was loud enough to match your level.

Your lips parted but you didn't have anything to say. Your head was spinning at the intensity of the coversation, at him -- so close, his cologne and after shave making your stomach feel sickly.

"I thought-" You ran your hand over your face as tears brimmed your eyes.

"You thought, you didn't ask me-- you just- broke up with me" He was shouting now. You genuinely thought your heart had fallen out of your chest. "You pushed me away, and then left like it meant nothing, like it all meant nothing." His voice was breaking with every word as his voice rasied

"It didn't- i didn't think it meant nothing" You were shouting too, and tears ran down your face -- you were unable to help it, each drop hotter and heavier than the last.

"Just be honest, I just- I just need you to be honest, please" He was on the verge of tears himself, and you hated it. You hated the way his voice was breaking, the way his hand was grabbing his shirt, pressing against his chest as if this conversation was bringing him physical pain-- like it was to you.

"You want me to be honest?" You asked, you were now the one stepping closer to him, you were the one shouting -- not out of anger, but you couldn't better express the way this conversation was all consuming every part of your body, your mind, your stomach, your chest.

"I love you Spencer" Your voice cracked as the words came out, "I love you so much, it hurts. It physically hurts when you are gone, when I was spending everyday worrying you weren't going to come home, I love you so much that I thought me worrying about you was unfair because you love what you do, and I was constantly in the way of that. I love you so much that i thought if i broke up with you, you'd be happier -- I thought the how much I loved you would stop hurting." you were practiclly sobbing, you would have been embarassed if you mind was able to focus on anything other than the boy in front of you.

"It didn't, its actually gotten worse because everyday I wake up and your not there, and I still worry about you just as much -- more, i worry about you more. Everyday I wake up and im completely heartbroken. God everyday I wake up and Im still inlove with you, " You continued on your tangent, "I love you so much Spencer"

You didn't even have time to breath before you felt cold hands on either side of your face and the feeling of his lips on yours, you could taste the alcohol on his lips. It was familiar and safe and warm. Your hands found their way to his face, pulling him in closer to you. The kiss was messy and passionate and everything you had missed so much, it was the sort of kiss that made every thought in your brain disapear, it made your knees feel weak and your toes curl in your way to uncomfortable shoes.

You tried to pull away but his lips chased yours, bring you back into him and you didn't make any movement, only kissing him back until you ran out of air, feeling lightheaded. You stepped out of his grasp as you tried to regain balance.

"Ill teach, its not an issue i've wanted to teach, god ill stop working all together if it means you'll come back" He said out of breath, eyes never leaving yours. You opened your mouth but he cut you off. "I love you, I've loved you since the day that I met you." he was huffing out words as he stepped back closer to you, invading your space and you couldn't complain.

"I don't- I don't want you to have to do that, you love working." you said breathlessly, shaking your head. You didn't want your relationship to mean him stop doing what he loved.

"I want you" He said, voice cracking. "I love my job but I love you." He said it like he couldn't get enough of finally saying it. "I'll work it out so you can come everytime we have a case, please I love you" He was begging.

"What does this mean Spence" You said, heart beating out of your chest. He just shook his head. "Who cares! I love you, You love me. I will do anything, just.. stay - let me stay." He said, grabbing your hand.

"I love you" You repeated.

"I love you" He said back.

"Where do we go from here?" You ask, looking up at him with squinted eyes, you were sure your makeup was a mess, and you looked horrible but there was so much love and hope in Spencer's eyes you couldn't find it in yourself to care.

"Let me drive you home." He said. You knew that meant it was the beggining. You knew he meant that he didn't know but he wanted to try. He was begging and there was no way you were going to let him go again.

"Okay."

[ranhaitanisgf]

heyy congrats on 2k! can i request delinquent & class president + stuck together with baji? thanks and congrats again

—baji keisuke // delinquent & student council president // stuck together

☆ ˎˊ˗ i went. soooo . overboard . this was too good though once i got going i couldn't stoppp omg. all this is lowk inspired by that one scene from the webtoon a reason to die, so iykyk :3 thank you for requesting anon, and i hope youre still around 2 years later to read this! enjoyyy xoxo

☆ ˎˊ˗ warning! small references from the 'a letter from baji keisuke' prequel series!

☆ ˎˊ˗ fem!reader

☆ ˎˊ˗ wc ; 2.5k+

masterlist || 2k masterlist

the breeze of the early evening wind was doing wonders for you at the moment; it was nice to take a moment for yourself amongst all your responsibilities and just relax. 

it was even nicer that you were able to enjoy a cold beverage after completing all your student council duties; the vending machine on the rooftop was a great investment, (you’d been against it when someone pitched the idea, but you’re so glad you approved it). all of this paired with your favorite music playing through your earbuds from your iPod? 

yeah, this was a perfect moment. 

you perked up a bit when you heard the door to the rooftop open, looking to see who was there. 

“hm? oh, baji-kun!” the boy looked over to you at the call of his name, the corners of his lips turning up when he recognized you. “what’re you still doing here? i thought you would be home already.” you asked, pulling an earbud out of your ear. 

“chifuyu and ryusei were helping me with some stuff after school and we just finished up. how ‘bout you? it’s getting pretty late.” you sighed at his query, the stress coming back to you just thinking about all the things you have left to do. 

“there was a lot of club budgeting to finish because a lot of the clubs are requesting more budget. all the presidents are getting mad at me for choosing another club over them, but it’s like, maybe if you were more productive with your club, i would allot more budget, y’know? gah, just thinking about it gives me a headache…i haven’t even finished the revised budgeting for half of them…” you shook your head, sighing at the predicament. when you looked back up, you saw baji adjusting his glasses awkwardly, as if he didn’t know what to say.

“sorry about that, baji-kun. i just came up here for a small break from it and ended up complaining about it to you.”

“nah, it’s fine. ‘m kinda like that with studying too.” 

“oh, right! how has the studying been going for you-? wait, hm…” noticing that he was still standing, you paused, slipping your school blazer off and laying it down next to you, patting it. “here, come sit down! you don’t have to keep standing, y’know. i’m not gonna bite!” you teased, feeling satisfied when he came and sat down next to you. 

“anyways! how has the studying been? have your test scores been alright lately?” 

“yeah, they’ve been alright. enough to pass.” 

“i’m glad to hear it! you’re improving so much, it’s so impressive! oh, you can also always ask me for a tutoring session or if you need anything. that’s what i’m here for!” you offered, smiling at him. “i admire your diligence, so i’m happy to help with anything!” 

baji nodded at your words, a small smile on his lips. “yeah, thanks.” 

after a few moments of silence, you offered one of your earbuds to baji, who accepted. you weren’t sure if the two of you had the same music taste, but you figured it was worth a try, and surprisingly, he didn’t seem to complain at all. in fact, he even complimented your song choice, which made you feel a very normal amount of happy. a very normal amount. 

˗ˏˋ ☆ ˎˊ˗

you were scared awake by a sudden yell, jerking as you immediately sat up, wondering what was going on. 

“hey!! open this door right now!!” the banging on the door drew your attention to baji, who was no longer by your side and was yelling at the door. “hello?! shit…” he walked away from it, sighing a bit. 

now that you were a bit more awake and coherent, you realized that it was dark outside. 

oh shit…

“ohhh my god, i’m gonna be in so much trouble, ohhhh my god…” you mumbled, scrambling for your phone to check what time it was. when you finally found it and flipped it open, the only thing that popped up on the screen was the dead battery symbol, making you groan. 

“uh…” baji started, seeming a bit awkward. “the door…is locked.” 

“what?!” you exclaimed, shooting up and walking towards the door. you tried the doorknob to no avail, proving baji’s words to be true. “oh my god…dude, i’m so dead. school administration might actually kill me if they find out about this…” 

baji was running a hand through his hair, also seeming to be very stressed. “my mom’s gonna kick my ass…” 

now that you were looking more closely, you realized that baji had ditched his glasses and that his ponytail was gone, making him seem almost unrecognizable. in fact, you might not have recognized him if you’d passed by him on the street looking this way. 

in all honesty, he actually looked so much better without the thick lenses of his glasses blocking the view of his amber eyes, and you thought that his dark hair being free from a hair tie suits him a lot better. you’re curious to see how he dresses outside of school now; he would probably fit streetwear pretty good-

wait, you have to focus. there are more important things to be thinking about right now. 

right, right. 

focus. 

“baji-kun, does your phone have any battery?” 

“no…” he mumbled, his hands shoved into his pockets as he looked at the sky. you sighed, trying to think of something. in the midst of your thinking, a chilly breeze blew by, making you shiver a bit. 

“ahh, i can’t believe this is happening.” you murmured, laughing a bit at the ridiculousness of the situation. “actually though, i’m sorry about this, baji-kun. you wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for me.” you said, feeling a bit guilty. after all, you had been the one who had offered for him to sit down with you, and from what you remember, you were the one who fell asleep. 

“it’s fine, i fell asleep too.” he said, leaning down to grab your school blazer off of the floor. “here, put this back on. it’s cold.” he tossed it over to you and you gladly accepted it, brushing some of the dust off before slipping it on. it helped a bit against the cold, but you supposed you underestimated how chilly the nights get in the spring. 

baji sat back down, taking his school blazer off and setting it beside him, loosening his lie. he leaned his head back against the wall and shoved his hands into his pockets. he seemed to have given up in trying to get someone’s attention, instead accepting the situation. you were about to sit down again and do the same, but you suddenly got an idea, shuffling around in your pockets for some spare change. 

“yes! 500 yen!” you whispered excitedly, walking up to the vending machine. “hey, baji-kun, do you like red bean?” 

“huh? yeah, why?”

“one sec…” you answered, putting the coins in the machine. you picked out two red bean buns, watching as they slowly dispensed and fell into the bottom compartment. reaching into the bottom, you grabbed both of them, walking a few steps and sitting next to baji. 

“i mean, it isn’t exactly dinner, but it’s something!” you said, offering one of the buns to baji. he accepted it, saying something about paying you back as he opened the wrapper, immediately taking a huge bite. you did the same, not realizing how hungry you were until you started eating it. 

“i’m actually such a genius for this!” you exclaimed, continuing to munch on the bread. “it’s so lucky that i ended up approving the budget for this vending machine!” silence fell over the two of you as you continued eating, but you felt more content than awkward. you’re glad that you ended up stuck here with someone nice like baji. 

speaking of baji, you were still a bit caught off guard by how different he looked without his glasses and ponytail. of course, you’d noticed how cute he was even before, but the word you would go with now is more like…attractive? 

really attractive, but still cute. 

“what?” 

“huh?” 

“you were lookin’ at me.” you felt your cheeks flush, a bit embarrassed at the fact that he caught you looking at him. 

“oh, i was just thinking, you look a lot different without your glasses. do you actually need them?” baji seemed to think for a moment before he spoke again. 

“nah, i jus’ don’t want people gettin’ the wrong idea about me.” he ended up saying. “i’m trying to get better with school, so if i go around lookin’ the way i do…” 

“girls will be attracted to you?” baji sputtered at your words, almost spitting out the bread that was in his mouth. 

“hah?! no!! it’s ‘cause i don’t want people knowing i’m in a gang!!” your jaw dropped at his words, and he subsequently smacked his hand over his face. 

the information was a huge shock to you. of course, you’d heard the rumors, but you’d chalked them up to just that; rumors. after all, even though baji wasn’t someone with perfect grades, you always saw him trying his best to get his grades up, and you really admired that. 

“you…pff…you’re in a gang?! riiight…” you managed to get out, giggles starting to overtake your words. “baji-kun, you literally dressed in a sailor school uniform to get extra tutoring-!” 

“hey! that was one time!” he grumbled, his ears turning pink. you finished laughing, wiping some tears from your eyes as you calmed down. 

“okay okay, sorry. i mean, are you being serious though?” you asked, feeling a bit curious.

“yeah. only losers lie about stuff like that.” 

“okay, which one then?” 

“toman.” again, your mouth dropped at his answer, but you recovered quicker than before. 

“t-toman, like tokyo manji gang…right. yes. wait, would you get arrested if people found out you were in a gang? why can’t anybody know?”

“it’s ‘cause then random dudes start showin’ up at school to fight, and then i get in trouble for fighting.”

“ohh, i guess that makes sense. why would they bother you at school though? school isn’t the place for that stuff…”

“dunno. it just gets annoying to deal with after a while, and my mom always kicked my ass when the school called her, so it was kinda crap.” you nodded thoughtfully at his words. 

“well, your secret’s safe with me, baji-kun! pinky promise i won’t say a word to anyone!” you held your pinky out, but he just looked away from you. 

“i believe you, you don’t have to-”

“c’mon!! it’s not a pinky promise if you don’t lock pinkies, y’know.” 

“...fine.” you cheered as baji relented, gently wrapping his pinky around yours. you shook your crossed pinkies and let go, feeling satisfied, (why did that small contact with him make your heart skip a beat?) 

“there! and you can beat me up or something if i break it.” you joked, leaning your head back against the wall.

“i’m not gonna beat you up.” 

“eh? why not?” 

“i don’t hit girls.” he said matter of factly, his tone quite serious. “only assholes hit girls.” you stared at him for a moment, seeing the dead serious look on his face before you smiled, closing your eyes. 

“y’know, you’re a pretty stand up guy, baji-kun. i like that about you.” you hadn’t meant to say the last part, but you were hoping he would just ignore it. 

“...thanks.” after that, there was a comfortable silence between the two of you, the only light source being the moon. you enjoyed living in tokyo, but if there was one thing you didn’t like, it was the fact that you couldn’t see the stars at all. 

“this wall is so uncomfortable…” you muttered, trying to get comfortable enough to sleep again. you’d long since given up on trying to get off the rooftop, so you figured that you might as well get some sleep since you were sure tomorrow was going to be interesting, (you weren’t looking forward to having that conversation with the principal). 

abruptly, you felt baji’s arm across your chest, pushing the side of your head to land on his shoulder. 

“better?” he asked, seeming to have no reaction. 

“uh, yeah…isn’t this uncomfortable for you though?” 

“nah.” 

“o-okay…” you said hesitantly. if you weren’t so tired, you probably wouldn’t have been able to sleep from how flustered you were right now; after all, you’ve never had a boy offer you his shoulder to sleep on, so why wouldn’t you be flustered?

it definitely wasn’t because it was baji. 

definitely not….

it was definitely because it was baji. 

˗ˏˋ ☆ ˎˊ˗

bonus: 

chifuyu and ryusei both looked down at the sight in front of them, shock filling their bodies. 

they’d been worried when baji had skipped the toman meeting yesterday evening, and they had been even more worried when his phone had been switched off, spending the rest of the night trying to find out what happened to him. however, now that they knew what had happened, they were about to burst their seams from laughter. 

“pff…do, hah, do we wake them up?” chifuyu whispered, his cell phone out and snapping pictures. 

“n-nah, haha, they look pretty cozy…pfff…” ryusei whispered back, his cell phone also out and snapping pictures from every angle. 

in front of them was baji and you, your head resting on his shoulder and his head resting on top of your head, dozing off without a care in the world. he had draped his blazer over the both of you as a blanket, and if one didn’t know any better, they might think that the two of you were a couple. 

“pff…this is some good blackmail stuff,” ryusei chuckled, exuding a proud aura. “look at toman’s little keisuke, all grown up now and sleeping with his crush! that’s what dreams are made.” chifuyu spluttered at ryusei’s words, a shocked expression on his face. 

“baji-san has a crush on (y/n)-san?! isn’t she the student council president?!” he whisper-yelled. ryusei nodded and shrugged. 

“the heart wants what the heart wants, or something.” 

“both of you, shut the fuck up.” 

“eek!” 

“gah!” 

baji glared at the two boys in front of him, holding up a finger to his lips, telling them to shush. 

“what’re you still doin’ here? scram.” they both immediately made a beeline for the door, fearful of baji’s wrath after being woken up from sleep. 

baji rubbed his eyes, yawning a bit as he looked around. he’s not sure what time it is, but he’s glad that it was only those two idiots who saw the two of you and nobody else. 

we should probably get up and get to class before someone else comes up here. 

he turned to the side to wake you up, but he stopped, looking at your sleeping form. he chuckled a bit when he saw your messed up hair, wondering how it got so messed up when the two of you were sleeping sitting up. he leaned back against the wall, staring up at the clouds passing by. 

just five more minutes. 

[forzalando]

💛 hi 🥹 CONGRATS ON 3K THAT'S HUUUUUGE !!!!

I am obsessed with this idea and also my favourite activity (as of recently lmao) is drunk karaoke and of COURSE my dream would be to do it with lando !!!!

drunk karaoke with Lando would, and i'm not exaggerating, mean everything to me. i am in love with just the idea of this.

thank you for supporting me through the many phases of this blog and for entertaining my every thought/idea. adore you, mel💛 i hope you enjoy this blurb that was meant to be 300-400 words but ended up being 800+ lol

celebration post: here

Drunk Karaoke with Lando Norris under the cut😊

You quickly downed the shot thrust into your hand – sambuca, which meant it absolutely came from Lando since he was the only one who knew of your preference.  

He was on your left, sweaty and somehow wide awake despite the fact you’d been out for hours. Oscar was on your right, slowly swaying to the music with his eyes half shut. Somewhere across the club Charles and Pierre were dancing on an elevated surface while George videotaped them like a suburban soccer mom at her son’s first game. Here in Monaco, everyone partied post-race as if they themselves had made it to the top step over the weekend.

Out of nowhere, Lando fell into you as he shouted in your ear – “Do you know what I’ve always wanted to do?”

Oscar caught you before you could topple over, steadying you on your feet before shooting Lando a dirty look.

“Sorry, sorry,” Lando giggled. He centered himself and then put his hands on your shoulders, looking the most serious you’d ever seen him. “Anyway, do you know what I’ve always wanted to do?”

“Win at Silverstone? Become world champion?”

“Well, yes, but think smaller, you lunatic. Something I could do right now.”

“Out drink Max?”

“What? No, I don’t care about outdrinking Max, where did that come from?”

“Well, I just thought since he usually wins every race that you’d want to beat him at something – ”

“Oh my god, you’re impossible,” Oscar interjected. “He wants to do drunk karaoke. When we went out in Miami he was practically on his knees begging me to sing with him.”

A giant grin spread across your face as you playfully swatted Lando’s chest.

“Why didn’t you just say so? I happen to be an excellent karaoke partner,” you boasted.

Lando clapped his hands and jumped around like a toddler at your remark – “So, you’ll do it with me?”

Instead of answering, you snatched his hand and pulled him through the club at an impressive speed. You weren’t in a karaoke bar, quite far from it, but you planted yourself in front of the DJ booth and gestured to Lando. Security immediately pulled you both into the booth, perks of having Lando at your side, and the DJ of the night asked what she could do for you.

“Hi! Lando Norris wants to do drunk karaoke and I’m trusting that you can make that happen. It’s very important to him,” you professed.

“I think I might have a couple instrumentals or could make some magic happen. Any specific requests? You won’t have any lyrics on screen, though. And you’ll have to share a mic.”

Before you could ask what your options were, Lando was shouting, once again, in your ear.

“DO YOU HAVE THE SPICE GIRLS? THAT ONE SPICE GIRLS SONG?”

“Lando, we won’t have the lyrics,” you reminded him.

“I don’t need them,” he declared, crossing his arms with attitude. “Maybe you need them, fake fan.”

“I most certainly do not,” you yelled back to Lando. “DJ, roll the track. Pretty please. You're amazing."

She chuckled and handed you the singular mic, Lando immediately snatching it from your hands.

“It’s my dream, I get to hold the mic.”

You rolled your eyes and fought back a smile, stepping into his side as he threw an arm around you.

The deafening bass from the speakers grew quiet as the DJ addressed the crowd of people – “we’ve got a special surprise tonight! These two lovely friends of mine up here are going to perform a special number for everyone. Please welcome – ”

She paused, waiting for you and Lando to introduce yourselves.

“LANDO NORRIS AND Y/N Y/L/N.”

“Please welcome Lando Norris and Y/N Y/L/N to my booth. Show them some love!”

The clapping and cheering brought the volume in the club back to an obscene level – the loudest cheers coming from a VIP table not far from the booth where all of your friends had gathered.

Before you had a chance to feel the slightest bit self-conscious, the infamous laugh rang through the speakers and Lando was scream-singing into the mic.

 “YO, I’LL YOU WHAT I WANT, WHAT I REALLY, REALLY WANT!”

The two of you in perfect sync, passing lines back and forth, singing (if you could call it that) in unison during the chorus. You could have sworn you heard George shout out that this was “his song” and Max was most definitely telling anyone who would listen that he personally knows Ginger Spice.  

You tore your eyes from the audience to look at Lando – the smile on his face rivaling the brightest sunny day. With his arm around you, squeezing you to his side, your closest friends cheering for you, your heart was sure to burst from happiness. There was no place you’d rather be in that moment than making a drunken fool of yourself with the most important person in your life by your side.

And if Lando was thinking the same thing, about how he was happier in that moment than he’d ever been, podiums and race win included, he’d keep that to himself for just a minute more.

[blingblong55]

This town -Simon "Ghost" Riley

pic credits: @ave661 (middle and right)

Based on a request: (Its a long as so I'll link it so you can read the anons idea) Link here ---- F!Reader, childhood!friends, hidden feelings, angst, friends to strangers ---- A/N: Songs that also fit: Too Young- Louis Tomlinson, This Town- Niall Horan, Back to the Old House- The Smiths, Always you-Louis Tomlinson

It's a story to tell over at the old pub you and he used to hang around on the weekends. But how can a man begin to tell the sorrowful story? How can he explain in his bruised hands he holds the locket you gave him when you two were kids? He will maybe ask if this was a curse, the only curse an old soul like his has. 

It could've been something, it would've been something, it should've been beautiful. 

In this world, it was always he and you. Scraping your knees when jumping off the rocks near his home. Playing tag in the street until the moon greeted you and his mother would call his name. It's the kind of beginning all beautiful loves start with. Friends since childhood, went through life together and by 28, he would have proposed to the girl he had loved his whole life, 40s would be of dropping the kids at school, 50s of early retirement and 60s were for the potential grandkids, 70s would've been the stories shared of their early lives.

Would've...what a shit word that became in his life. 

In the teenage years, after you had some glow-up, you became the girl everyone knew. The pretty, popular and funny girl the school knew of. He was the friend of the popular girl, the one people barely noticed or cared for. Simon was the same kid who always had a scar or bruise on his face, compliments from his father. One thing Simon hated more than the bastard of his father was the guy you were with. Bloke knows nothing but how to wank and fuck any living thing, he recalls.

Why were you with such a guy? It was a must. Like those cheesy movies where the pretty girl stays with the popular guy, all for the status of each other. Your feelings weren't real for that guy. He wasn't funny, wasn't smart and he wasn't Simon. The boy you shared a kiss with at age 7 because of an accidental bump whilst running through the grass. 

It was during a small break between classes that you found him drinking water. You smile. He always did look good, even the stupid bruise on his jaw made him look so good. 

"Y/N," he straightens up. "Simon," you smile cheekily. "Oh no, what's that smile for?" He crosses his arms over his chest and you can't help but get lost in his honey eyes. "Well...I was wondering if maybe we can...talk?" You say, unsure of how to word this confession. "Did my mum put you up to this?" 

"No, this is...me just wanting to talk." 

"Go on," his voice softens. Does he always do this for you?

You hesitate, but what is life without words? You breathe in and say, "I like you...there I said it and... don't stay quiet because you know I get nervous and I will continue to just talk and talk and talk and-"

He cuts you off by saying, "I'm sorry, Y/N, I... don't..think..this..well I just don't feel that way for you. We're friends, nothing more," he ends his part of the conversation, pats your back as he walks away and you are left in the corridor of the school alone. 

As Simon walks to his classroom, his heart and mind fight the words that he had just said to you. Why was that mean? Did I even mean to say them? He thinks. 

Graduation happens. You and he never talked after that day. Not even a congrats or a hug, life went on without him in your life. Throughout those last months in school, he felt a feeling of regret when he'd see you with that guys arm around you. He would occasionally walk around the old park just to see if you would still go on your daily walks. 

By the time he was about to leave town, he found himself at the old house. He heard your parents moved to a new part of town, so if this was the last time he heard of you, it better be on his terms. And as he walks through the pavement, he finds himself looking at your window. He leans over a car, lights a cigarette and just waits to see if maybe you or some ghost roamed the home. 

Was it the feeling of losing a friend that hurt or losing his one chance to feel something other than pain and hatred? Maybe it's just nervous, after all, he leaves tomorrow. 

You were both just 16, it was puppy love, nothing would've lasted if he reciprocated those feelings, right?

And if it was, why does he feel some kind of hurt as he packs his bags? Why does he want to run to your new home and call your name? Is there a reason why? It's not love, it can't be love, he thinks. I'm not worthy of that, you've heard my dad, he says out loud. "Simon?" Tommy opens the door. "Tommy, not today," he looks back at his bag. "...Fuck" he whispers. 

It's been a long nineteen years since he last saw you and heard your precious voice laugh at a cheesy joke of his. Nineteen years and the feeling in his chest is still there when he arrives home. Manchester was always home for him, it was the only place he knew best when he came back. 

One day, as he was cleaning his closet, looking for his dog's leash, something fell and hit his head. "What the fu-" he looked down and there it was. 

"Why give me this?" A thirteen-year-old Simon asked you. You smile, "You said you wish you could always be near me so you can feel safe...and since I'm going to my nans for the week, have this locket on you, and I swear I'll be there. Keep it safe, okay?" you kiss his forehead before entering the car. He nods and waves, "Call me, Y/N, please!" he calls out and you nod. "Every day!" you scream out as the car drives further away. 

A smile falls on his silent lips, "...Y/N..." his thumb caresses the design. Once he opens it, he feels as if he is that young again. "Are you still there, Y/N?" He whispers and then, realisation hits. It was never nerves or whatever bullshit he told himself back then, it was love, always has. 

All the dots are connecting. For the past nineteen years, he always had some love or whatever all those hookups and awful relationships were, but never did they stick around. Never did he feel more for them than what he has always felt for you. His cold heart still beating warm when he thinks of you. You are all he has ever known, the smiles, the late-night confessions, stories, the silly inside jokes, the feeling in his chest today. 

He hasn't seen you in years, what if you don't remember him? What if when you see him, your heart doesn't call his name when he screams yours? Will you ever even forgive him? Will you wrap your arms around him and call him home like he has called you? 

He must find you, so he calls and looks for you in every corner of this place. He finds nothing, just more lost hope at every corner he looks into. His heart and mind excited each other at the thought this would be some sappy romance moment. His mind creating a script, all truths, just finding better words to tell you he loves you, loved you the moment you kissed the similar scar on the knee at the park when he cried over the pain. He's loved you from the day he learned to say your name. 

Why does he miss you so much today?

Why must you be the drug his body needs? God does he miss you and your addictive heart. 

He has been around the world, where he could've found a good woman who made him happy but no, his heart has always belonged to one girl. You. 

By the time he gets the street right, he finds you sitting down and as he smiles and nearly runs to you, he stops when he sees this image of you. 

Sitting by the fountain, he sees you and a man. His arms wrap around your body, giving you darling kisses as you chuckle. It was then that Simon Riley knew this was it. He will spend his entire life wandering earth, looking for another soul like yours. You didn't see him of course, your fiance capturing all your attention. Simon was close to not caring and pulling you away from that man, but that would be cruel. And as he tries to make up excuses for this man being near you, he sees the ring. 

Oh...oh you fool, he thinks. 

His heart is near death. It screams your name, trying to find you so it can keep beating but when you don't whisper, Simon nods and lets his heart die. Let it rot, so it can learn its lesson, he thinks. 

It would've never bloomed, Simon and you...right?

It's no use to even go and say hi. The locket that contained your picture was still in his fist. It'll be the last reminder of what was meant to be a life romancing in dark streets through town. 

In his head, the home you dreamed of will forever be just a dream. No four kids, no library, no big kitchen so you and he can dance around at midnight. No you...no him...it'll all be stuck and dead in this town. 

He crossed rivers, mountains, and enemies and survived wounds soldiers like him get, all to come home to you. And all this was for nothing. In his world, he would've married you, given you chubby babies and late Saturday mornings. No gun, no bomb and no other man would've kept him away from you. 

In his mind, he is with you. In his dead heart, he sits by and watches that chubby baby learn to walk. He would've adored seeing you in a white dress, walking to him as he wiped tears away when he d his dream of a perfect life was minutes away from being real. 

What a mess he is as he asks for another drink. A mess he never should have been if he had told you that your name is carved all over his body. 

It was this town that saw him live and it'll be this town that sees him die because if he can't have you, at least he has this place. 

A/N: Remember, I collect tears for potions, so please drop them by for collection, thank you. - The place of tears co.

Tags: @liyanahelena @mangowafflesss @goldenmclaren @ghostslillady @moonsua1 @rvivienner @Krinoid24 @iruzias @frazie99 @idklols @saoirse06 @vampsquerade @Juneonhoth @tiredmetalenthusiast @jinxxangel13 @enarien @Simonssweetgirl @luvecarson @willowaftxn83-87 @ikohniik @nobodys-coffee @strawberrychita @sae1kie @queen-ilmaree @pbcartii @Llelannie @Macnches2 @bbyfimmie @avidreadee123 @talooolaaloolla @skelletonwitch @bittermajesties @Nyx_Flower @honestlyhiswife @who-can-appease-me @ghostwifeyy @konigssultwithghost @kaoyamamegami @beansproutmafia @soapybutt17 @asianbutnotjapanese @a-goose-with-a-knife @foxface013 @sleepyycatt @believeinthefireflies95

[charliedawn]

Hi! Can I request how the Slashers will react to their favorite nurse having an engagement ring on her? And they actually fell in love with her. (Also, can you add Five please 🥲, he's very much my comfort character.)

Five Hargreeves :

Five was the first to know.

He knew just by looking at you. The way you almost glowed and were smiling from ear to ear all week made him suspicious. And then, the coup de grace…The ring. He was sitting at his own private bar when you joined him and his eyes were immediately drawn to the shiny ring. Suddenly, everything clicked and he stared at the drink in his hand…his hand shaking slightly.

"…So, you found someone ?"

He was happy for you, or at least he tried to convince himself he was.

He wished you would say no. He wished you would realise how much you meant to him at that exact moment…but you didn’t.

Your smile almost burnt him when you answered affirmatively. He took a big gulp of his whiskey—savouring the burn. He knew it was impossible. You were a nurse. And he was…just a kid. You would have never seen him as anything else. And it made him rage against himself for even entertaining the idea you would ever consider a future with him. Physically, he was too young. And mentally ? He was too old…You would have never worked.

So, he smiled and raised his glass to you.

"Congratulations, Y/N. You deserve it."

Once you were out of the room, that glass went flying across the room to end up shattered against a wall…shattered like Five was.

Jack Torrance :

Jack is good at hiding his emotions—even from himself. He had spent weeks wondering if he should ask you out on a date. He had spent his time thinking and planning and rehearsing what he would say and do. He thought it would be his moment to shine and leave all the bad shit behind…But then, he saw the ring.

"Hey. That’s a…That’s a nice ring you got there."

He smiled and said he was happy for you. And you believed it. Of course you did. Because, he was a good comedian. The best. He had learnt to just drown his emotions when he died, because if he was to feel anything…He’d lose himself. He had to suffer the loss of his family, his career, his life…What was one more loss to the lot ?

However, once you were out of the room ? He lowered his glass and his shoulders shook as he gripped the glass tightly in his hand to breaking point…He was too late. Again.

"Damn it…"

That was Jack’s true reaction to the news. He was disappointed for sure. He knew he should have acted before…But, what was the point ?

What would you have done with the ghost of a past long forgotten ?

He just started drinking again and chuckled bitterly at his own misery. He had wished for a better end, but that end had just slipped through his fingers like a dream…He would maybe write about it later ? But, what was the point ? He could write his feelings, but you’d never read them.

Pennywise :

You were at the dinner table and when Pennywise sat in front of you, he could feel that something was different. The other slashers were strangely quiet, so of course he’d have to ask.

"Why is everyone so quiet ?! Please. Tell me someone died !" He snickered, but nobody answered. Finally, he looked at you and tried to find the reason for the sudden silence…You then showed him your ring.

"Pennywise. I am engaged.", you announced with a smile. His own smile dropped.

He knew perfectly well what engagement meant. He understood now why all the others were so quiet. He could read their emotions. All of them were disappointed…He just didn’t know why until you had shown the ring…

"…Congrats."

"…Thanks."

That was the most awkward congratulations you had ever heard. He glanced back at your hand. Even though he had tried to sound genuine, he couldn’t bring himself to smile again. It was the first time you had seen Pennywise so serious.

He then decided to avoid you. You didn’t understand why, but he simply vanished. He didn’t even show up at meals anymore…

When something upsets Pennywise, he tends to avoid it. So, he decided to avoid you. He knew it was a childish and nonsensical reaction to the news…But, he couldn’t being himself to care. Because, he understood perfectly the feelings of the other slashers.

He never thought he would have to deal with emotions again…But, it seemed like he was wrong.

Michael Myers :

Michael stayed silent. He had nothing to say…

Well, he normally doesn’t say much, but this time you could actually feel the awkwardness in the room. He knew he didn’t have the right to dream…but, he still did. You were the only one who truly understood him and that Myers had ever spared. He wanted you to love him. But, it didn’t matter at the end…

He wrote down on his notebook:

Congratulations.

Even you could feel that he didn’t mean it, but you didn’t comment on it. However, he didn’t expect it when you removed his mask and stared at his face—studying his features. He wasn’t smiling. His teeth were clenched and his eyes were dark.

"…Michael.", you muttered softly and raised your hand to stroke his cheek…but he grabbed it before you could.

"Don’t."

He could see the pity in your eyes and it hurt more than anything. He then retrieved his mask and walked away. He couldn’t pretend to be happy about the news. And now, you knew about his feelings too.

Bo Sinclair :

Bo was working on a car when he asked you to hand him a tool. When you did, his eyes caught the ring around your finger and he suddenly forgot all about the tool. He grabbed your arm and stared at the offensive jewel in frightening silence.

"…Bo ?", you called him after a while.

When he saw you with that ring, it made him tick and realise that you had a life outside of the hospital—one he had no idea about. And it made him mad. You had never seen him so quiet before and he didn’t answer. He finally released your arm and left without a word. After that, you had trouble catching him and when you eventually did ? His reaction wasn’t the one you expected.

"…Whatya want from me, Y/N ?! A congrats and pat on the fuckin’ back ?! Alright. Congrats ! And hope you have a great life with yer fucker !"

He took out his frustration on you. Bo usually handles his emotions with his fists and his words. But, of course he wouldn’t come to hands with you. So, he’d either ignore you or be harsh with his words. Or, he’d go out to a bar and start a fight. Anything but confront you about his feelings and confess that he was jealous.

Jason Voorhees :

Jason was angry. The moment he saw the ring on your finger, he knew what it meant. His mother had carried hers for years and he had inherited it. He thought you’d be the one carrying his ring, but it seemed he had waited too long. His reaction would first be denial before he would suddenly break everything in his path and try to start a fight with anyone he’d come across. Jason doesn’t handle emotions very well and most often than not, he’d break things in order to let his frustration out.

He spent hours in the forest chopping wood and no one dared come to check on him—except you.

"Jason…?"

He didn’t answer, but he was there. You could hear him breathing and you sighed before sitting on a log. You waited for him and soon enough, he sat down next to you and you noticed how his whole body seemed tense.

"Jason…It’s not because I am engaged that I will forget about you, you know that right ?"

He still didn’t answer. He was doing his best to remain calm and when you moved to touch his shoulder—he recoiled from your touch. It was the first time Jason was reacting this way with you. And what he did next made your eyes widen in shock. He retrieved his mother’s ring from his pocket and wordless put it in your hand.

By the time you understood what he meant to say, he was already gone.

Freddy Krueger :

"~How sweet…"

He gave you the best fake smile he could muster before turning around and leaving. Truth is ? Freddy was the less angry out of all the slashers. He doesn’t believe in marriage or engagement or anything…The only problem he had with you being engaged was that he had lost his chance getting into your pants. Or, that’s the reason he’d give to anyone who would ask. Because of course you’d be faithful. You were the only person in the hospital who ever gave a shit about him.

You were kind and honest and fuckin’ perfect. So, of course Freddy didn’t stand a chance in hell. You were the complete opposite of him. You were an angel and Freddy was a demon. And that made him love you and hate you even more. It hurt…But, it didn’t matter. Because, he was already broken to begin with.

Norman Bates :

He thought he had a chance, but the moment he saw the ring…something snapped in Norman. It started with a twitch of his jaw and suddenly, his smile was gone. There was nothing left in his gaze than an intense emptiness—a void which seemed to swallow you whole. He took a step forward and for the first time…You were scared of him.

There was something murderous in his eyes—something dark.

When he leant forward, your heart hammered in your chest, but he simply smiled knowingly before kissing your cheek.

"Congratulations, my little angel."

There was not a single word in that sentence that he truly meant, and you both knew it all too well. But, you smiled and tried to hold back the tears. You left and Norman was left with his regrets.

Penny :

"Why ?"

You turned around to face Penny. He was the last one. He didn’t understand, but his expression changed to cold numbness as he repeated.

"Why, Y/N ? You know how we all feel about you…That ring. You knew what that ring would do to us…So, why ? Why hurt us like this ?"

You had always suspected Penny to be smarter than he pretended to be…but you didn’t think he would be the first one to figure it out. Your expression softened as you tried not to cry.

"I’m sorry, Penny. Turns out I wasn’t as special as you all thought I was…"

It was simpler this way…It was better than to admit that you were scared. You thought you were past the fear…but, it seemed not. There was still a fear to be conquered. You had grown too attached to the slashers. And of course you knew how they felt about you, but so did you. You felt so strongly…but, you couldn’t do anything about it.

You were human. And you still had a life outside of the hospital. They couldn’t understand…but, you hoped that with time they’d understand. You only had one life, and you couldn’t give them false hope. You couldn’t be with them forever, and that ring was a reminder. Not only for them, but for you as well.

Penny snarled and grabbed the hand where the ring was to glare at it. He hated it. He didn’t want to see you belonging to someone else than him…It affected him more than he cared to admit.

Suddenly, he wrapped his hand around your ring finger and you suddenly felt a sharp pain. He released you, but then you heard a series of metallic sounds hitting the floor. When you looked down, your eyes widened as you saw your ring—shattered in pieces.

You looked back up at him, but he was gone.

The message was clear though.

He would never accept it…

[claudemblems]

Kaeya + Diluc Flirting Headcanons | Genshin Impact

Summary: How they flirt with you at the beginning vs. a long time into your relationship. Fem!Reader.

Notes: No thoughts head empty I just want them to flirt with me too owo

Kaeya Alberich

Beginning of the Relationship

This man is a sweet talker to the max

He's just over the moon that you chose him out of everyone else and so he just has to lavish you in all his love in return!

That and it's hard to shake off the flirty persona he's had for so long. But you don't seem to mind it so he just uses it to his advantage

But he's kind of a brat about it. He won't lie: seeing you lose your composure over him fills him with a sense of pride. No one else can turn you into a flustered mess like he can

He also likes to try different pet names out on you, paying careful attention to which ones elicit a reaction. And then he strictly uses that pet name to refer to you, even in public. As far as he's concerned, "Darling" is your name now!

But if you try to flirt back, he'll either 1) be virtually unfazed by your attempt (nice try, though, you're cute) or 2) feel his face turn red as he struggles to find a witty response. Congrats, you've broken him!

You always manage to surprise him, which is something he thoroughly enjoys. It makes him that much more eager to one-up you the next time

Established Relationship

Kaeya is still the same flirt as ever, but now he's a lot more toned down with his romantic gestures

He doesn't want to overdo it or make you feel like he's putting on an act around you. He knows you're satisfied just having his attention, and he's more than willing to give it to you

His gaze is much softer now, and he looks at you with a visible fondness in his eyes. The sight leaves butterflies fluttering in your stomach

He's realized you find his sincerity most attractive, so he focuses on making you feel wanted and loved (something that deep down, he aches to feel, too; good thing he has you <3)

You can say his love is like a mixture of sugar and spice. He riles you up with actions like his breath fanning against your neck, but then he presses a sweet kiss to your cheek, reminding you of how much he loves you

Diluc Ragnvindr

Beginning of the Relationship

This man has absolutely no rizz lol

Every time he's managed to fluster you so far has been completely by accident (his good looks and attractive voice work wonders for him)

Most of the time he doesn't even know what he did to make you blush, but seeing you turn shy because of him does something to his heart

He will be thinking about it all day to the point where he'll be tending the bar and Kaeya will have to snap him out of his daze (all while teasing him because that's what brothers do)

Honestly, you tend to successfully flirt with him more than he does with you, but he has no complaints about it

He does, however, try his best to find ways to make your heart skip a beat. Whether that's by gifting you flowers or treating you to dinner, he wants you to feel as loved as you make him feel

If he's really in need of ideas, he begrudgingly asks Kaeya for help. He might even read some romance novels to get inspiration

Established Relationship

Though still awkward and clumsy at times (he tries too hard, bless his heart), Diluc has made great strides in his flirting abilities

He's learned that it's best to just let his heart guide him. It helps that he just harbors so much love for you that he unconsciously shows it to you through his actions

He's also aware that you really like when he wears that one outfit during his shift at Angel's Share, so he shows off a little by rolling up his sleeves or tying up his hair, all while sneaking a smirk or two your way

Knowing that he's the only person that can render you speechless sets his heart ablaze

But Diluc can only do so much flirting before he ends up becoming the flustered one. Your expressions are just so endearing. It's not fair!

And when you look at him like he's everything you've ever wanted, he melts. He scoops you up into your arms and whispers the depths of his love to you

He'll do all that and more to make you smile. Anything you want. He's already yours, but he'll prove it if he must

[coralinnii]

Hey hey! Congrats on the milestone! Now on to the request.

Neige

Lilia

Ruggie

Jamil

What would a beach date be like with them? Also please keep it as gn neutral as possible.

- 💚 Anon

❋ It’s a Beach Episode ❋

↳ Beach date with him

feat: Neige ⭑ Lilia ⭑ Ruggie ⭑ Jamil

genre: fluff

note: no pronouns used with the reader, established relationships, reader is wearing swimwear but style is unspecified,

I’m an advocate for sunscreen in daily skincare. It doesn’t matter where you are, when it is, or how resilient your skin is, protecting your beautiful face and body is a must. Also, having grown up near a beach, I have may have lost the hype for beach outings ^_^” But I hope you still enjoy~

2.7K followers writing event

Due to Neige’s rising fame, having an intimate moment with you was not as easy as one would hope. Fortunately, Sage’s Island is a fairly remote area where inhabitants live a peaceful, secluded life which gave the sweet man an idea; a picnic date on the quiet beach.

Neige would be punctual to the meet-up, perhaps even 15 minutes early just so he doesn’t make you wait. Imagine a shy but excited little gentleman would stand alone with a basket of goodies to share, eager to see you.

Whether you chose to wear a swimsuit or something easy to wear by the waters, Neige would be immediately starstruck by your casual beauty. Seeing you glow under the sun while a gentle sea breeze wave through, you looked straight out from a fairytale to him. He specifically chose a time and area where there were little people roaming around, but even if it was as crowded as a summer festival, you were the apple of his eye and everything else would fade into the background.

Neige is very easy-going, willing to go with the flow. If you wanted to splash around in the ocean, he would enthusiastically jump and start a playful play fight in the cooling waters. If not, he’s just as happy to just sit down on a blanket, sharing the sweet treats he made while chatting away about everything and anything.

No matter what the two of you did, the young starlet never felt more at peace than he was with you. Don’t get him wrong, he loves his fans and he’s proud of all the work he put to bring recognition to his name, but there’s just something about spending the day just watching you smile and laugh washes the hidden burdens on his shoulders.

The day ends with the two of you watching the sun set beneath the horizon, Neige’s head laying atop of yours as you listen to the waves and the sounds of your heartbeat.

“I’ll tell you a secret. I’ve been really looking forward to this day! I almost couldn’t sleep last night, because I was just so excited to see you.”

A day at the beach with Lilia would be less of a date and more of an adventure (unless that is your ideal date). Lilia lives in the moment with great vigour so be prepared for a date filled with activities and games.

Lilia would not be shy about complimenting your swimwear, you would be absolutely darling, just like him. The cheeky fae would be confident enough to say the two of you would be the most adorable couple on the beach by far. No matter how you choose to dress, he would be proud to show you off and would bluntly say with no shame, especially so if he knows you get flustered about it.

“Hehe, my dear is particularly captivating today, much like a joyful summer day.”

Expect lots of fun with Lilia as the two of you go around the beach making the most of the day. Swimming, surfing, tubing, trying out the dessert stands, there is not a boring moment with the outgoing senior.

Lilia would be receptive if you were to tell him if you were uncomfortable with some of the activities but at the same time, he would want to encourage you to break out of your comfort zone and live without regrets. He hopes that you would be unafraid to try new things with him, knowing that you can wholeheartedly trust him.

As I say that, I don’t think Lilia would pass up the chance to scare you just a little bit. He can’t help himself if he gets somewhat giddy to feel you hold him just a little tighter as you explored the hidden caves, or when he somehow convinced you to surf with him…on the same board.

You’d probably be exhausted by the end of the day but you can bet that it would be just like every day with Lilia, memorable.

“Oh, let us get a pair of matching shirts as a souvenir. Hmm, those shirts are a little too eccentric, you say? Nonsense! It screams major summer vibes, wouldn’t you say?”

Not gonna lie, you’re probably gonna have to try and convince Ruggie to go on a date like this with you. Afterall, time is money and he ain’t got a lot of the latter. But, give him a pout and ask really nicely and he’ll probably crack. He’s honestly just too weak for his lover, he’ll just pick up some extra shifts later.

He’d try to not be too obvious, but when he first saw you once you changed, he couldn’t stop glancing at you. You were attractive already but seeing you out of the school uniform, it was like a new side of you he hasn’t seen before.

His territorial instincts kicked in as he sensed gazes on the beach towards his direction. Then, he realized it wasn’t towards the hyena beastman… Suddenly, he was shamelessly clinging to you with an arm constantly around you. It isn’t necessarily because Ruggie is jealous, but rather he’s too greedy to share his lover, in any way.

Aside from perhaps some summer shifts, Ruggie didn’t have the time to hang around beaches for fun so he wasn’t sure what to do. However, if you mentioned that sometimes people would collect sea creatures to eat, Ruggie’s scruffy tail started to wag. Oh, tell him more.

You and Ruggie would stroll by the low tides while you went seashell collecting (among other shell “varieties”). While it may not be the date you were expecting, how could you not smile fondly watching your boyfriend looking so cute while foraging for clams and mussels?

But your heart skipped a beat when Ruggie, with a cheeky grin but flushed cheeks, gave you a handful of beautiful shells of various shapes and colors. With his signature laugh, he said that he thought of you when he saw them, thinking you would like them.

Now sitting on a table in your bedroom is a cute little jar filled with those same shells.

“Shyehehe, they may not be fancy jewels or anythin’, but I could at least do somethin’ like this”

Jamil is another workaholic to convince. You would need Kalim with you to convince him that no, the Scarabia dorm will not burn down in the hours he will be gone.

Once you finally convinced him, then Jamil would start immediately packing essentials (and nonessentials) to what was supposed to be a simple date by the beach. Sunscreen, shades, blankets, spare swimwear, chargers, bandaids, umbrellas… you would think the two of you were around to leave the island instead. Even Jamil knew he might be going overboard but he doesn't want to risk anything on this rare day off with you.

The moment he saw you in your swimwear, there was a rush of nerves in his body. There was something about seeing you on this day, where it’s just the two of you, felt intimate and something that was only for him. That compelled him to naturally hide under his hoodie, embarrassed to feel this happy over seeing a new side of you.

Like Ruggie, Jamil has keen eyes and he could tell when eyes were following them. The long-haired man is quick to hand you his hoodie, telling you with ease that the sun is especially harsh that day.

Which leads to how you two decided to put on sunscreen while you can. One of Jamil’s love languages is acts of service so he was already pulling you close to apply sunscreen generously on your skin (wherever you were comfortable with).

The vice housewarden was gentler with your face, cradling your cheeks as he used his fingers to ease the product on your skin. The warmth of his hands distracted you from the coldness of the sunscreen, or could it actually be the burn in your cheeks.

Jamil may not be any better, though. Even after applying the sunscreen, Jamil did not let go of your face, seemingly lost in your eyes. His charcoal eyes drank in your attention, a satisfying sensation filled him as he only sees himself reflected in your lovely eyes as he was sure his eyes reflected only you, As though nothing else was more important.

Eventually, Jamil released your face as he stood up. He offered his hand to you, with a softer look in his eyes. He was here as your boyfriend, after all. No duties, no stressful obligations, just a young man free to share a day with his beloved.

“What should we do, you ask? Hm, would you follow what I say today? Heh, no need to panic, it’s a day for us to enjoy, afterall.”

[cozage]

HIII CONGRATS ON 2k!!!

Your writing is amazing and you totally deserve all these followers <3

Could you maybe write a scenario modern scenario where you and Zoro go to the same gym, and eventually he starts to notice you and crush on you a little :0

Tysm<33333

A/N: Modern AU is new for me so I hope I did it justice :) 

Characters: gn reader x Zoro Total word count: 750

Gym Routine

Zoro tried to mind his own business in the gym. He threw on his headphones and had his own routine. He never made small talk with people while waiting for a machine, he never bothered anyone and he didn’t want to be bothered. He didn’t really care about the other people who were in the gym with him. 

But this was the fifth day he had seen you, and he couldn’t help but notice the two of you had almost the exact same routine. Which led to you both waiting for each other a lot. 

He didn’t necessarily care, but you seemed to always watch the person on the machine while you waited. You almost went through the motions with them, as if you were perfecting your form along with them. 

Which didn’t make any sense. You had perfect form. He had been watching you out of the corner of his eye. 

And you were doing it now, watching the guy on the rowing machine as you waited your turn. Zoro would’ve been intimidated, if he hadn’t found you so amusing. 

“You can go,” the man said. He had gotten in line first, but only by a few seconds. And he didn’t want to have you watching him while he did his sets. 

“Oh!” you exclaimed, looking back and forth between the green-haired man and the machine. “No, go ahead. You were here first.”

“It’s fine. Go.”

You hesitated for a moment, but decided to take him up on his offer. It was your last set before you got to go home, and you were eager to lay on the couch and finally relax. 

You did your reps and quickly jumped back off, gathering your stuff to head to the locker room.

“Do you come on the weekends?” the man asked you. 

“Huh?” You turned back to look at him. “Oh, no. I just come in after work. I take a break on the weekends.”

The man nodded. “Me too. Name’s Zoro. See you Monday.”

You gave him a polite smile. “See you Monday.”

He wasn’t sure why his heart was beating so hard. Fridays were his easy days, and yet he felt a little nauseous from his routine. 

On Monday, he found himself equally nervous and excited about going to the gym. Once he got there, he was a little less focused on his workout and a little more focused on his surroundings.

“Zoro!” you called, waving to him. “I’ve been thinking about this all weekend. It has been haunting me!” You held your hand out. “I’m Y/N.”

He had also realized over the weekend that he didn’t know your name. Though, he only realized it because he was going to try and find your social media and see what kind of a person you were. Not for any reason in particular. He was just…curious.

He took your hand and gave it a firm shake. “Do you mind spotting me on this?”

You smiled back. “Not at all.”

By the end of the week, the two of you had become gym buddies. You all didn’t talk much, but you had exchanged phone numbers and gym routines so that you could sync up with each other every day and be each other’s spotters when needed.

Zoro shouldered his bag, the two of you getting ready to walk out the door together. “I was thinking-”

You crinkled your nose. “That’s dangerous.”

He rolled his eyes and groaned. “Shut up.”

You snickered at his reaction, but quickly pulled yourself back together. “Okay, okay. You were thinking?”

He gave a hard swallow, trying to muster up his confidence again. “Dinner?”

You raised an eyebrow. “Me and you?”

Zoro shrugged, as if the idea was just now occurring to him. “There’s this nice restaurant, if you want to go.”

You looked down at your attire. You were in baggy shorts and a tank top, and you probably reeked of sweat. “This doesn’t exactly scream nice restaurant.”

“Not right now!” He slapped his hand against his forehead, and you resisted the urge to laugh again. You certainly weren’t making this easy for him. 

“Pick me up at seven?” you asked, your eyes lighting up. “I’ll text you my address.”

Zoro finally gave a small smile of relief and nodded. “I look forward to it.”

“Me too.”

You practically danced the whole way home. 

[boqvistsbabe]

truth or dare - matthew tkachuk

A/N: this is for the summer fic exchange!! I got the chance to write for @ohmyeyesmyeyes as a part of @wyattjohnston 's summer fic exchange. I was pretty nervous because tbh I havent written in so long mostly because of writers block, but here it is! Super excited to have been able to take part in this especially cause it got me out of a writer's block lol. I absolutely loved doing this. Also in this Matt and McDavid are friends. Hope you enjoy it!!

Warnings: Some swearing but I think that's it! (also my computer started acting weird halfway through so the formatting got a little funky so apologies for that)

Wordcount: 4,705

So it finally happened. Matthew had won the Stanley Cup. And you somehow found yourself driving from St Louis down to the Lake of the Ozarks to celebrate with him and his family. 

To be completely honest you don’t know why you were invited, Matt and you texted every once in a while for birthdays and other holidays, maybe congrats on a game or promotion, and maybe saw each other when he visited home occasionally but nothing like when you were kids growing up together. You were in the same grade as Brady and quickly became best friends with him. With how much family means to the Tkachuks, you were easily brought in as one of their own. Being brought on family vacations, going to the lake each summer, and traveling to the boys’ and Taryn’s games was a big part of your younger years. Though you were best friends with Brady, there was always something about Matt that drew you to him. He treated you just like one of his siblings always teasing and trying to beat you in games but as you got older things changed. You’re not exactly sure when or why but he stopped messing around with you so much, he still hung out with you but when it was just the two of you it was less teasing and more deep talks about the future and what it held for both of you. Of course, you ended up having a little crush on him, he was too nice and familiar for you to not. Even though you never told a single soul about it, you had a suspicion Chantal knew anyway.

When he made it to the NHL he moved and you stayed in St Louis you kept in touch, making weekly calls and texting all of the time. Then he got a girlfriend and you started hearing from him less and less. You understood of course, things change as you grow up and life goes on. Though you still stayed close with Brady and Taryn when they moved on to college and the league.

Flashforward to playoffs this year, you were watching whatever games of Matt’s you could like always and then the Panthers won, and you got a text from Matt saying you should join the family at the lake to celebrate “like old times”. You had asked Taryn if she thought it was a good idea when you FaceTimed the night after and she told you of course and looked at you like you were stupid for suggesting otherwise. She didn’t know about the silly little crush you still had on him so of course she would think that. Brady knew though, not fully but you slipped up one time when you were drunk and he won’t let you live it down. 

So here you were taking time off work for the first time in forever, driving two hours to get to the lake to celebrate a man you were probably in love with. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Matthew’s POV

“Brady would you stop that!” I was fed up with him bugging me right now. Everyone had made it to the lake so far, Sasha, McDavid, all the other guys their plus ones, and of course my family. The only one left to show up was Y/N. At first, I wasn’t even sure she would accept my offer. I knew she had been working a bunch and honestly didn’t know if she was keeping up with hockey anymore. She liked it a lot when we were younger but things can change. And with us not being super close anymore I didn’t know if it would be worth it to her. Thankfully according to Brady, she left like two and a half hours ago so she should be here any minute. 

But Brady won’t leave me alone about the whole Y/N thing. I don’t see what the problem was, I wanted to see an old friend and this was a good excuse to do so. Well, that’s exactly what I had told my family, it’s not entirely untrue. I just didn’t tell them about how when I was lifting that cup in the air I couldn’t stop thinking about what it would be like to have her there with me. When I first made it to the show I was still hung up on her so I dated around to distract myself. Never anything too serious, the whole point was just to get my mind off of her so I could focus on hockey I wasn’t trying to get caught up on someone else too. Of course, it never really worked, which is why I got up the courage to even ask her to come. As soon as I got back to the locker room after that game and had a moment to myself, I texted her. Brady was there and being nosey as usual saw my text from over my shoulder and won’t stop bugging me about it. 

My plan was just to have her come here to just see her again. Yeah maybe partially because I want to see if that little spark is still there, but also just because I hope we can get closer again. I hope we can.

~~~~~~~~

Y/N POV 

You pull in front of the garage, put the car in park, and give yourself to breathe for a second. The second doesn’t last long though.

“Y/N!!! You’re here!!” Taryn was running up to your car with Brady right behind her. And there he was, Matthew Tkachuk standing there in all his Stanley Cup Champion glory on the porch watching his siblings pull you from your car and into a big hug.

“Matt you can’t just stand there and watch them maul me and not even try to do anything!” You shouted over to him even as you squeezed Brady and Taryn tighter. It had been months since you had seen either of them in person and you were planning on savoring every moment you had with them, and Matt before you all had to return to your busy lives. 

Matt started making his way to the three of you a big smile on his face, “Ahh you’re right, I’ve got to join in.” 

Next thing you knew, another set of arms was wrapped around you. Maybe Matt was right, it was gonna be just like old times. They all let you go and you turned to give Taryn her own hug first.

“Hey kid, I missed you.” Somehow it feels like she’s gotten taller since the last time you saw her. Taryn responds with a, “You’re not that much older… but I missed you too.” 

Brady’s next and you get a hug and a big paw messing up your hair like he always did when you were younger. When he lets you go you turn to the only one left, Matt who’s standing there smiling at your interactions with his siblings. You’re trying to fix your hair from Brady messing it up and he reaches over and tucks a piece of hair back to help out. Then Brady says something about helping Mom with dinner and drags Taryn along with him. 

You mumble a thanks to Matt and he opens up his arms and you step into them. 

“Thanks for coming, it means a lot,” Is mumbled into your hair. 

“Yeah of course Superstar.” The old nickname falls out of your mouth unintentionally.  

“Oh my gosh, I’m never going to escape that am I?” You’re still hugging him.

“Definitely not now with the Cup to prove it.” He laughs but is still hugging you too. 

You take a step back and wipe your hands on your shorts not knowing what to do with them. 

“Alright let’s get your stuff and then I’ll help you get it inside, you’re staying in Taryn’s room since she’ll be in the basement with her friends.” 

“Alright works for me.” 

~~~~~~

As you make the trek up the two flights of stairs to the upper floor you’re grateful for Matt taking your bags. You forgot how steep the stairs were. You make it to Taryn’s room before you notice that the corner room, the one next to yours has plastic covering the doorway. Without turning you ask him what happened.

“Oh a big storm came through a couple of weeks ago and a tree fell on that corner of the house.” He shrugs and reaches around you to open the door to Taryn’s room. 

“Isn’t that your room though?” You haven’t moved into the room yet.

“Uh yeah, I’m just staying on the couch and keeping my stuff in Brady’s room.” He nudges you forward and you move into the room, setting your backpack on the bed before turning to him.

“Why don’t you take Brady’s room and make him sleep on the couch? This is like your thing, you shouldn’t be sleeping on the couch.” 

Matt shrugs, “ His girlfriend is staying here too so they get a room and I’m fine with the couch.” 

“Matt you should sleep here and I’ll take the couch and leave my stuff with Taryn and the girls.” You move to grab your stuff from him, but he doesn’t let you.

“Absolutely not, you’re a guest and Mom would kill me.” He’s got a frown on his face that you refuse to admit to yourself is cute. 

“I don’t care, this is your gig I’m taking the couch.”  With that, you run out of the room and bolt down the stairs and Matt is hot on your heels as soon as he figures out what you’re doing. 

It’s not hard to locate Chantal and Keith, they’re out on the back deck grilling and watching the kids (aka Taryn and her friends) play with a volleyball in the yard. It seems like some of Matt’s friends from hockey are here too because they’re taking up the chairs scattered around the deck. But you barely pay attention to them, you’re on a mission.

“Chantal can you please tell your son to liste-” You’re cut off by a strong arm around your waist and a hand over your mouth. 

“Mom don’t listen to her please.” Matt is out of breath behind you, holding tight cause he knows as soon as he lets go you’ll convince his mom to agree with you like always.

“You two are already back at it huh? Hi Y/N it's good to see you, honey. What am I trying to agree to?”  She looks amused at the spectacle of you two. She’s used to it, this is exactly something that would happen whenever you wanted one of the boys to listen to you when you were kids. You would run to Chantal and get her on your side without letting her know the real context so you would get your way. She thought it was hilarious and always sided with you because you were always right. 

“Mom she’s trying to take the couch and make me sleep in Taryn’s room.” You lick his hand and he immediately retracts it and Keith laughs. He doesn’t let go of you though.

“Y/N you’re a guest you know better.” She’s giving you a look and you know you’ve already lost.

“But Chantal it's Superstar’s celebration, not mine! And he has camp starting here soon, we can’t have him in pain from sleeping on a couch.” You heard a few chuckles from the guys at the nickname. 

“If it’s that big of a deal to both of you just share the bed, it’s a king and it’s not like you haven’t shared before. Don’t give me those looks, you think I didn’t know about your little sleepovers?” You feel your face heat and refuse to look at Matt’s friends who are now 100% interested in what’s going on, “ I don’t care what y’all do but I don’t want to deal with arguing right now, it’s day 1. Now shoo and get stuff to set the table.”

Without speaking he lets go of you and you both turn and walk right back into the house and into the kitchen, the sound of laughter following you. The next couple of seconds are completely silent before you both burst into laughter. You make eye contact across the island and start laughing again. Together you get the tables set for dinner. 

“You know she’s not wrong, it’s a good compromise.” You look over to where Matt is perched on the counter. 

“What?” He can’t be suggesting what you think he is, if he is it’s a bad idea. 

“We could share, the bed is big enough and we’re both adults.” He shrugs, “ I don’t see why not. As long as you’re fine with it, I’m fine with it.” 

It’s a bad idea and you should say no, “Yeah I’m fine with it.” So your mouth and brain were not on the same page at all. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You’ve forgotten about that agreement until everyone is headed to their rooms or cabins and you’re standing in the doorway of the room watching Matt put his stuff up. You tell yourself it’s fine and move to grab your pajamas out of your bag.

“What side of the bed do you want?” Matt pops his head out the bathroom doorway to look at you.

“I don’t really care.” You shrug, you’d prefer the side by the window but you weren’t going to say that.

“If I remember right you like to sleep closer to the window, so I’ll take the side by the door.” Matt winks before shutting the door to change.

You’re not going to think anything of the wink or of the fact that he remembers little things about you. Instead, you plug your charger in on that side of the bed and set your water on that side table. When Matt gets out you take your turn. You change first then brush your teeth and wash your face before heading out to the bedroom. Of course, you manage to open the door right as Matt tugs off his shirt. You pause for just a second, taking in his muscular back and arms. When he starts to turn around you look away and start heading to your side of the bed. You don’t know why you were so shocked at him taking off his shirt, he always slept without a shirt on. Maybe it just felt a little different now, you stop that train of thought before it finishes leaving the station. 

You grab two of the big decorative pillows that Matt threw on the floor and place them next to each other in the middle of the bed.

“Really? I’m not gonna give you cooties I promise.” That teasing glint is in Matt’s eyes, “I’ll stick to my side of the bed don’t worry.” 

You roll your eyes before flopping into bed and snuggling up under the covers. 

~~~~~~~~

Waking up the next morning with a heavy arm draped around your waist wasn’t something your brain was able to process that early. Turning you realized it was Matt who was all cuddled up close. You try to wiggle away but it doesn’t work and he just holds on tighter. Sighing you reach over to grab your phone. You pull up the text thread to Brady and snap a quick picture of Matt snuggled up with you.

Y/N: he didn’t stay on his side of the bed and now he won’t let me go.

Brady: don’t pretend like you’re not enjoying it, also you should be thanking me rn 

Y/N: ???

Brady: you forgot to close the door last night, got this on my way to the kitchen. Dw i was up first and i shut the door

Attached to his message is a picture from the doorway of the room, and it clearly shows you half lying on top of Matt, face tucked into his neck and his arm wrapped around you. Before thinking better of it, you save the picture to your photos. 

Y/N: well fuck, thanks

Brady: yw, breakfast is ready when y’all are

Y/N: perfect thanks

Turning around you poke Matt until he stirs.

“What do you want, it's too early for this,” his eyes aren’t even open.

“So much for staying on your side of the bed and its 9:30 its not that early.” You tease, poking him again.

Matt’s eyes flutter open and he takes in the situation. Once he realizes his arm is around you, he quickly retracts it and brings his hands up to rub his eyes.

“Whoops sorry.” He doesn’t sound sorry at all.

“Uh huh sure. I’m gonna go get breakfast.” And with that, you roll out of bed, grab your phone and water, and slip out of the room.

~~~~~~~~

Matt’s POV

“Fuuucccckkkk.” I stretch out across the bed. I didn’t intentionally cuddle Y/N last night but oh well. She’s a good cuddler. Maybe I can convince her to cuddle tonight. Actually, maybe I need to stop thinking like that. Sitting up I grab my phone and see a notification from Brady.

Brady: if you don’t want everyone knowing about your little crush maybe you should remember to shut the door 

Right after the message is a picture of Y/N lying on top of me with her face tucked in my neck and a leg hooked around mine, I assume she wasn’t aware of this but if she was she conveniently left that out when teasing me about breaking the pillow wall.

Matt: shit did anyone else see, i don’t want anyone to bug her about it

Brady: nah just me, i shut the door on the way downstairs and I was the first one up.

Matt: K thx, she said breakfast is ready?

Brady: ya, get your ass down here and eat its boat day

Groaning I push myself up from the bed and head downstairs. And if I saved the picture to my phone who can blame me, it’s cute. 

~~~~~~~~

Brady POV

If these two don’t get their shit figured out before the end of the trip I’m gonna scream. They obviously like each other, and I know for sure Y/N has liked him for years and I’m pretty sure it’s the same for him. They just need to do something about it.

~~~~~~~~

Y/N POV

Boat day means us “kids” are out being stupid and Chantal and Keith stay home and get to relax by themselves. It also means you get to drive the boat because that’s your favorite part besides the actual wake surfing. And Matt and Brady know not to argue with you about driving. With so many people though you had to rent a second boat. This meant Brady and his girlfriend were on the boat with Taryn and her friends and you got stuck with Matt and his friends. Not that it would matter too much because you’d stick close together for the most part. 

When you left the dock Matt was sitting in the back with his friends but now he’s moving up to sit in the chair by you. He doesn’t say anything, it's far too loud to have a conversation right now. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Matt’s POV 

I can’t stop looking at her. I’m trying not to be too obvious, but she looks so pretty. The wind is pulling the hair out of her braid and the blue of her swimsuit looks so good on her. And even though I know she grew up on the lake with us, her knowing all about the boat and loving to drive it is so attractive for some reason.

Once we get far enough out she gets the boat stopped so we can set everything up. The guys have already decided who’s going in what order so I’ll probably stick up here with her while she’s driving. Even though she didn’t seem to mind about getting stuck with us I still feel a little bad. Plus I like being in her presence. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Y/N POV

“You know you can hang with the guys, they came here to see you.” You don’t turn to look at him, instead choosing to keep watching the boys get set up. 

“Yeah, I know but so are you. And I Like spending time with you so,” he just shrugs. 

So throughout the laps of the boys going one after another, he sat there next to you while you drove. Finally, it was his turn and then you were up next. And this continued till lunch when you all took a break to eat before starting back up again. 

It was the last run for everyone and Matt was up and you somehow ended up in the back watching him because one of the guys wanted to drive a lap. However, this lap was a little different. Matt ended up losing his balance and falling off the board but when that happened the board ended up catching his head as he fell into the water.

The boat stopped and he popped up like nothing was wrong but he had blood dripping down the side of his face starting at his eyebrow. 

“Matt you good man?” Came from McDavid. 

“Yeah, the board just barely caught me.” He seemed fine but you still wanted to make sure.

“Come up here I’m gonna check that out and make sure you’re actually okay.” You told him gesturing up front where the first aid box was. He followed without complaint. You motioned for him to sit in the captain's chair.

“I’m just gonna clean it up and put a bandage on it but once we get back to the house I might have to get something better okay?” You grabbed the kit and got an alcohol wipe out to clean up the blood. His curls had fallen in the way so you brushed them back before cleaning him up. He sat there without complaint, even though the alcohol probably burned a lot, looking up at you as you held his face to keep him still while you doctored him up. The cut wasn’t as bad as you originally thought, but it was still pretty bad. You grabbed the biggest band-aid you found and gently placed it over the cut. 

“Alright good to go.” You declared standing back up. 

“What no kiss for my boo-boo?” Matt teased.

Without even thinking about it you leaned down and kissed the band-aid before walking to the back of the boat to get ready for your last turn. Not even realizing the look Matt is giving you or the fact that Taryn is recording it all from where they stopped not too far away to make sure everything was okay. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After dinner that night it was time for the firepit. Chantal and Keith were inside in bed already, and Taryn and her friends were watching a movie, which meant truth or dare mixed with a little alcohol. Just like if you were all teenagers again.

Though not everyone was drinking it did surprise you that Matt wasn’t. This was normally his bread and butter. And when you asked he just shrugged it off. 

By the time the game actually started, you might’ve been just a little tipsy. Thankfully Matt was sitting next to you so at least knew who you were next to. Though maybe you were a little bit more out of it than you thought because you couldn’t stop looking at Matt and you’re pretty sure it’s really obvious but you also don’t really care.

At some point, someone asks you the age-old question of truth or dare. Normally you’re a truth kind of person but even through the alcohol, you can tell that drunk confessions might not be the best idea right now. Of course, the only other option is dare so you pick that, which in hindsight still might not be a great idea because you are far gone enough to agree to whatever dare they threw your way. 

“I dare you to kiss Matt, on the lips.” 

Oh, that was, unexpected. Especially considering it came from McDavid. 

You glanced over at Matt who looked like a deer in the headlights. You nudged him and he turned to look at you.

“I’m fine with it if you are?” You whispered to him.

“Are you sure, you’ve drank tonight I don’t want that to be influencing your decision.” He looked concerned which you found sweet. And even though you were drunk, you still wanted to kiss him. This might be your only chance and the alcohol is giving you the confidence you need.

“I’m sober enough to consent to it, but are you okay with it?”

“Yeah.” He was still looking at you, eyes jumping around different parts of your face before landing on your lips. So you did what any sane person would, slid your hand into the curls at the nape of his neck tugged him towards you, and kissed him. Your eyes fluttered shut and one of his hands came up to cup your face and the other wrapped around you to pull you closer. 

You broke apart to a couple of whistles from the guys and Brady saying something about how he doesn’t wanna see that.

Matt was still sitting closer to you, but you didn’t move away until you stood up to grab another beer.

Later on when it was time for everyone to go to bed you were on wobbly legs so Matt offered to give you a piggyback ride up the stairs and of course, you said yes. He brought you all the way into the room and dropped you back on the bed before disappearing into the bathroom.

“Thank you Mattyyyy!” Okay, maybe you were still a little drunk. Matt reappears and sets a cup of water and some pills on the side table.

“Yeah, not a problem. I’m gonna need you to go ahead and sit up so you can take this and not feel totally horrible in the morning.” You raised your arms and he grabbed your hands to tug you up so you could take the medicine. Once you get it down you flop back onto the bed, kick your shoes off, and curl up under the covers. 

“Come on Matty I wanna cuddle and you’re taking forever.” He had just gotten into the bathroom to change and get ready for bed. 

“Give me a second and I’ll be right out.” And sure enough he was. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Matt POV

I was royally fucked. 

That kiss, was good. Too good. Cause now I can’t stop thinking about it. 

After rinsing off my face I walked back out expecting Y/N to be asleep, but she was still awake waiting for me covers pulled back and everything. 

“Hurry up Matty,” she looked so cute snuggled up and ready for bed. So I climbed into bed next to her and she immediately tucked herself under my arm and was out a minute later.

Yeah I was in big trouble.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/N POV

Waking up the next morning sucked big time. Thankfully the planned hike was not until later this afternoon so after breakfast you could come right back upstairs to sleep some more. At least you could remember the night before. But also remembering the night before means you could remember the kiss and how good it was and then Matt getting you upstairs and taking care of you and of course you begging for cuddles. Which speaking of, Matt himself was still asleep and still holding you close. Though this morning you were able to roll out of his grasp before he could pull you back. You went to the bathroom and grabbed more medicine and some water before running downstairs and grabbing two granola bars. No one else seemed to be up either and you didn’t feel like making real food. 

When you got back upstairs Matt was sitting up in bed. You tossed one of the bars at him before crawling back in your side and opening up your own. 

“Everyone else is still asleep, and the hike isn’t untilater so after I eat this I’m gonna go back to sleep.” You exclaimed before eating your granola bar. 

“Alright. Thanks by the way. And if you don’t mind I’ll probably join you, we were up late last night and I’m tired.” You just shrugged in response because your mouth was full. 

True to your word both of you were back asleep after setting an alarm to give enough time for getting ready before the hike.

~~~~~~~~~~

You were all about halfway through the hike when it happened. Somehow you had managed to trip over a tree branch that was across the path. Through this area of the trail it was a small path so everyone was in a single file line and just just happened to be in the back. So no one even knew you fell until you tried to stand up and couldn’t put any pressure on your left foot without yelping in pain. As soon as they heard you they all turned to look to see what happened. And even though he was leading everyone, Matt made it to your first.

“Hey hey, what happened?” He asked as soon as he got to you, kneeling down next to you.

“I got caught on the branch and hurt my left ankle. I can’t stand up.” You had tears running down your face. More out of pain than anything else. 

“Alright, you probably sprained it. I’ll take you back and they’ll continue on okay?” He reached up to wipe your tears away and all you could do was nod. Your ankle really hurt.

He turned around to face the group, “Hey Brady, you keep leading everyone and I’m gonna take her back to the house, she can’t walk.” Brady said something in response but you didn’t even hear him. Before they left Taryn came back to tell Matt to keep them updated and give you a hug. 

When the group started on their way Matt turned to look at you again. 

“Okay I’m gonna have you get on my back and we’ll get back to the house that way okay?”

“Okay, thanks Matt. I’m sorry you have to deal with this instead of finishing the hike.” You did feel really bad.

“Hey hey no it’s fine, you didn’t mean to do this. And I’d rather take you back and know you’re okay than have someone else do it okay?” You ignored how that cause butterflies to errupt in your stomach and just nodded.

“Alright I’m gonna stand up and help you up then get you on my back alright?” You just nodded again.

Matt stood up before leaning down to grab you bridal style.

“When I set you down stand on your good foot and I’ll get lower so you’re able to hop on easier.”

“Okay.”

~~~~~~~~~~

You made it back to the house, Matt checking on you the whole way, making sure nothing else hurt and making sure he wasn’t hurting you.

Once you get inside Matt sits you down on the couch and disappears. When he comes back he has an ice pack and a bandage to go around your ankle. You lean down to start to undo your laces but he stops you and does it himself.

“Hey let me take care of you.”

“Thanks Matt. I really do appreciate it.” 

He makes quick work of getting you all bandaged up. And you both decide to have a little movie night and Matt gets up to get snacks and turn the lights off. And when he sits back down, he’s sitting a lot closer than before. And you don’t mind.

Eventually you do end up cuddling together, him pulling you close and you tucked in next to him but still with your foot resting on the coffee table in front of you. 

And that’s exactly how everyone finds you later when they get back. 

~~~~~~~~

Matt’s POV

Someone is shaking me. I open my eyes half expecting Y/N to be telling me I’m on her side. But its Mom and I’m in the living room and the TV is showing the ending credits.

“Honey I think y’all need to go to bed its late and y’all are tired. Is she okay?”

“Yeah she’s got a sprain. Nothing too bad thankfully but she is gonna be in pain for a bit.”

“Alright honey, go ahead on up to bed, I’ll see you in the morning.” 

I untangle myself from Y/N and stretch before standing up and lifting her to head upstairs. When I make it to our room and kick the door shut, lay her downa dntuck her in before laying down next to her. And when she automatically cuddles closer who can blame me when my heart flutters for a second.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/N POV

Today was the day everyone was leaving. Myself included. Thankfully the ankle I hurt was not the one I needed to drive. Matt of course helped me get everything to the car. By the time I’m ready to leave everyone but Matt and I are gone. And of course Chantal and Keith. 

I’m sitting in my seat procrastinating leaving. I have tomorrow off of work so I’m in no rush. And I want to keep talking to Matt who’s standing in the doorway of my car looking down at me with soft eyes.

“Hey Y/N?” Matt is suddenly serious.

“Yeah what is it?” 

“I like you.” 

“What?”

“I like you. Actually I think I kinda love you and I always have. And if you feel the same which I think you do, or at least I’m hoping you do, I’ll do whatever I can to make it work with us. Even though we would be so far apart. But I just had to telly you that before you left. If you don’t feel the same we can pretend this never happened, but for the record I really don’t want to have to forget that amazing kiss.” There’s a blush covering Matt’s whole face.

“Matt?” 

“Yeah?”

“I think I’m kind of in love with you too.” Relief washes over Matt’s face. 

“Can I kiss you Y/N?” 

You don’t answer, you just pull him close and plant one on him.

“And Matt,” he leans back to look at you again, “I think now is a good time to mention that I got a promotion that requires me to move out of St Louis.”

“I don’t care where you move if you want to I am willingto make it work no matter where you are.”

“Well me moving might make it a little easier on us.”

“Oh yeah? Where do you have to move to?” He rests his hands on your hips, a smile across his face.

“Well I kinda of have to move to Miami. So like maybe twenty minutes from you?” 

Matt’s smile somehow gets bigger as he lifts you up to spin around.

“I think that’s the best news I’ve heard in a long time.”

[threepandas]

Bad End: Traps

"Darling~!" A rich voice greeted me, as I stepped through the final doors leading to an opulent office. "You're looking better! Are you finally adjusting to the anti-poisons? I know they made you feel quite sick."

THAT was an understatement. Try worst cramps and fever of my life, with a dose of puking for days. They put me on IVs. Buuuut? I wasn't gonna say THAT. Not a chance in hell. We, team Earth that is, were supposed to be here for DIPLOMACY. So? Fucking LIE~☆

Yep! "Bit" sick. Just a touch. Hardly noticed, really. Took a nap.

Veneni laughed, rising from the elegant sprawl she'd been resting on one of her "not called couches but totally are" things. To be honest, her voice reminds me of those old "radio stars" from the clips at the museums. All smooth yet husky, curling around you, like they're going to invite you somewhere dark to learn a naughty little secret if you're very VERY good.

Kind of voice you could listen too for HOURS, reading the most boring shit imaginable, and it be the best time you'd had in years.

I am... SO gay, for Veneni.

Like? You DO NOT UNDERSTAND. She SASHAYS. Not walks. Not strolls. Sashays! Like life is a catwalk and she is the alpha bitch here to show these other models how it's DONE. But also? Like she doesn't even NOTICE! It's just... effortless. How she moves. All delicate hand motions and rolling hips and curves.

That I Can Not Touch because she is SUUUUPER poisonous.

Which is? Frankly? Homophobic and a crime against me, specifically. Yeah, her whole species is like that. And it's why all of us are suffering through the Anti-poison adjusters. But STILL! I can't even "accidentally" brush her hand? No potential kissing of hot hot hot alien gf? Illegal. Blocked. Everyone here is a bastard and I want to complain.

.....not, mind you, that I have the metaphorical lady balls to actually CONFESS anything.

But you know... maybe.... maybe if I pine hard enough?

Good ol' stand awkwardly nearby and mentally project "NOTICE ME SEMPAI!" At her? I put on my nice outfit! Makes the girls look-! Wait, does her species even give a shit about boobs? FUCK. Okay, see this? THIS is why I was a flight assist. Just inventory and handing stuff to people who knew what they were doing.

MASTER of the fine arts of "I Can Understand The Instruction Manuel, In Case Of Emergency"!

Pretty good at coffee, too. Not to brag.

But, like? Jokes aside? Things had been... Bad.

Everything had gone to shit. Then somehow found a shovel in the manure pile and started digging. Started OUT okay! Really, it had! Travel was unexpectedly a bit rough. Some sort of space storm that went RIGHT over my head, but we dodged every major catastrophe. Got here in one piece.

There was a fancy meeting party. Whiiiich? In hindsight? Terrible idea. WAY too many people with hella poisonous skin, standing WAY too close. Only reason we didn't IMMEDIATELY lose the head diplomate? Was the regulation "new planet, unknown pathogens" full body biosuit. He? Got a HUG. Like... right out the ship.

Oof. That would have been IT, for him. Unfortunately, he didn't make it past that much longer. Someone's pet bit him. And? Yep. Completely fucking venomous. Lethally so. A tragedy, right? Outlier, surely?

Ha!

No. No this planet was trying to fucking kill us. It was a toxin coated hellpit and had so far? Murdered just over half the diplomatic crew. Those that were still alive? Over half of THEM were in emergency care. With just over a forth of the OTHER survivors being the only ones who could safely care for them.

Rest of us were either in isolation or sick as FUCK.

Isolation for those who needed to get rescued, because the Anti-poison adjusters would fucking kill them. Or sick as hell, for those few who remain that finally, FINALLY had found a way to Not DIE.

ALL WHILE PEACE TALKS WERE TRYING TO HAPPEN.

It was a shit show~☆

I? Went from basically a nobody? To "congrats! By merit of NOT being dead or dying, you're the head diplomat by proxy!" Which? Fucking WHAT? You could physically SEE the stress radiating off the poor guys back home, as they tried to speed run me through "how to not Accidentally A War 101".

I was pretty sure his cup, did in fact, NOT contain coffee. But I wasn't telling.

Instead, I got the honor of carrying the video call. Literally. Since our tech was incompatible. I got to carry the whole set up. Portable battery included. So the ACTUAL Really, Actually, Trained In Diplomacy, Diplomat could call in. And then I could look pretty and nod seriously at the appropriate times.

Mmmmhmmm. Yes. I agree. I both understand what is being said, AND support Earth's position on these matters! I have definitely studied the materials. Am supposed to be here. We have DEFINITELY suffered no catastrophic loses, pay no attention to the chaos behind the curtains! Diploooomacyyyyy....

God, she is pretty.

Watching her smile, her sensors gently shift around her like flowing water, the way her hand delicately gestured as she spoke? I... I wanted to build her, like, a cabin or something. Bring her breakfast in bed. Maybe adopt an alien dog together. And like? I don't even KNOW how to build shit. But, fuck it. I'd learn.

Cause I mean... you KNOW you got it bad, when you look at Toxic Super Hell the planet, look at pretty lady, look BACK at the planet that in no uncertain terms ACTIVELY thirsts for your blood... and go?

"So when do I move? Feeling REAL patriotic for my new home! Wooo, New Home!"

Yes I have a problem. Shut up, I'm aware.

A quite click signaled the end of their talks. Finally done for the day. I definitely, in now way shape or form, perk up like an excited puppy hearing the word "walkies". Because that? THAT would suggest I had WAY more dignity. I am a thirsty, thirsty bitch, okay? SO PRETTY. Nice laugh! Calls me Darling!! I have a LIST!!!

"Mmmm, what an unpleasant man that was. Did something happen to Mr. Ho?" She asked, stretching in the slow rolling way of hers. It looked boneless and decadent. REALLY distracting. "I hope nothing Serious~. We were nearly on the cusp of getting you home! I do hope he gets well soon. But, ah~, where ARE my manner today, Darling? You must be starving!"

Veneni sweeps forward to tuck my arm in hers, pulling me against her side. Even through my biosuit and her modest dress... I... I can FEEL her body heat. How soft and warm she feels pressed close against me. She smells tingly and spiced, kinda like citrus and mulled cider. NOT! That I'm smelling her! WHICH I'M NOT!! Because that would be so, SO creepy! It's just-!? You know-?! AaaaaaAAA???

She guides me to our little table. Probably set up for guests in general. But... you know... kinda like to THINK of it? As ours?

I REALLY need to stop while I am ahead. Good fucking gods. Ignore me.

Mmm, yes, distraction cake! Let's talk about THAT instead! Wonder what she-? I then choked on my drink. Because... because after bringing out the usual traditional deserts of she was teaching me about? And dishes I could try? Veneni... c.. casually as you please rests her chin, propped up on one hand, then reaches out with the other... to place it on my hand, which rests on the table between us.

Hear that? That's my soul screaming at a pitch only dolphins can make.

OH MY GOD.

I'd like to say? I don't immediately embarrass myself? But that's a lie. I make a wheeze reminiscent of something dying horribly. Against all odds. She is NOT immediately disgusted and done with me. Dear lord, my parents may actually have a chance at seeing me married! Holy FUCK.

Wait. No. Slow your roll.

SMILE first. We GOT this! Seduce her!

I open my mouth... and stupid fell out. FUCK.

"Calm yourself, Darling!" She laughs, the bemused fondness lighting up her face. "You hardly need to impress ME! Believe me. I knew you were mine the second I saw you. Nothing could possibly change that~"

Her cute fangs catch the light, deadly sharp. Her's is a predatory species. I wonder if they like social touch? Cause I REALLY want to cuddle. Hold hands. Touch. Ooooother stuff~ But! Mostly the Hold Cute Alien GF! Assuming that's where this is headed. Please GOD let that be where this is headed!

"I was thinking... and I don't want to be too forward, of course," oh god please do "and I hope I'm not interpreting things incorrectly!" You are not. Take me you magnificent, purple, high femme queen amongst the masses. "But... I would VERY much like to... get to know you, Darling. On a more... personal level...?"

I kept my lips pressed desperately together to keep from literally shouting the word "Yes" in her face. Be cool. BE COOL! We are both cool and Very Normal About This! Scream in incoherent joy later!

Y..Yeah! Sounds great!

This is the best day of my-!

An explosion shook the biodome. While the whole planet WAS toxic as fuck? There were levels to it's toxicity. Some places too much for even native life forms to handle. And, of course, no place that non-natives could safely survive. Thus the capital's biodome. Highly filtered air, earth, and resources. Built for diplomacy and several critical care hospitals.

Now under attack. Another bomb exploded. Cracks in the dome.

I could only stare in mute horror at the pillar of smoke. Because... Because that was the isolation area. Our evac's. Someone just blew up... Then my brain seemed to comeback online all at once, as adrenaline flooded my system. I looked between the still unpacked call system and Veneni.

A piece of tech or a high ranking, probably high interest target. My maybe hopefully girlfriend. Not really much of a choice.

Fucking LEAVE IT.

We had to go. I pulled Veneni up, told her as much. She looked so startled.

"Of... Of course, Darling. Yes. You're right. I AM probably a target, aren't I?" The thought didn't seem to have occurred to her. God, I felt like a monster having to bring such ugliness to her attention. Scaring her like this. But ignorance wouldn't keep either of us safe.

"I...I think there was a safe room?" She faltered, arms crossing almost artfully, looking so uncertain I couldn't help but want to comfort her. "But, Darling, I'll admit.. I'm.. I think I'm rather scared. Will you protect me? Stay with me? ...please?"

I couldn't help it. She looked so scared. So delicately small. I stepped forward, arms going around her. Pulling her close like I could shield her from the world. I wouldn't let anything happen to her. I promised myself. Felt her arms, a few of her sensors, desperately curl around me.

I didn't see the smile, pressed against my front. That quickly vanished as she pulled back. Nor did I notice the calm technician, hidden in the shadows of a side hall, who nodded at Veneni as I herded her to "safety". Would think nothing of how, tragically, my rooms were hit in the follow up blasts. How very lucky, that Veneni has rooms to spare. But oh~ she would not want to over step!

I don't notice a lot of things. But hey, things are great! I got a girlfriend! Or, as she likes to joke,

She Got Me.

[amaramizuki666]

dp x dc crossover  unlikely find

  dick held the tiny glowing child in one arm, close to his chest. the vigilante in the bat cave, decoding the information he got from the cults servers. dick glared at the screen, he felt angry and violated.

this cult stole some luthor tech and used the dna of “the ancient of space” the being they worshiped, and used nightwings dna to complete the missing dna sequence to “create the perfect vessel” for their space deity thing to inhabit.

 dick looked down at the sleeping kid in his arms, the little boy had deathly pale skin, pointed ears, glowing teal eyes, and a head of fluffy black hair with white glowing dots that remind him of stars. the baby took a breath, “4 minuets” dick mumbled the child only takes a breath every 4 minutes.

 dick remembers when he found the tot, he was on the floor surrounded by the broken glass of his pod and some liquid, dick feared the boy was dead. 

  but now dick was standing in a very empty batcave, wondering how to brake it to his family that he technically has a child with some non human being. 

‘im gonna have to call constantine’ dick notes, he walked away from the bat computer and wrapped his other arm back around the baby.

    dick felt so confused and overwhelmed. his dna was used without his consent, a unknowns dna was used without their consent. he had a kid now with no way to contact the other genetic donor if contastine doesn't know how.

should dick even try to contact the other donor? they obviously weren't human. but even then. dick would want to know if he had a test tube baby with someone, he would especially want to know if someone managed to get his dna.

   “fuck” dick took out his phone and pressed on his top contact. “what do you need” johns voice rang tired and aggravated “john” dick says his breathing shaky and uneven “dick, ya ok kid?” constantine asked “i uh, i need your help will you come to the cave?” “yeah ill be right there just give me a five minutes” dick hung up and leaned against a table. he adjusted the baby in his arms. dick just hopes mama space wont be a big bad.

                                ~~~~~~~~~

    constantine stared at the toddler in dicks arms. pure terror streaking over the blonds face “kid why are you holding a child of the infinite realms?!” “um i have no idea what the infinite realms is, this kid is mine” dick says rubbing the back of his neck. 

“YOURS!?” “yeah made by a cult who mixed nightwings dna and the dna of this ancient they worshiped” the vigilante explained with a soft sigh.

  johns face turned white “ancient?! do you know which ancient?” constantine asked. “um yeah the ancient of space? i actually called you to see if you could contact them” dick says and adjusts the sleeping toddler in his arms.

john is silent for a few moments before speaking “i actually know them personally, ill call them but i have no idea how they are going to react to this” he jesters to the child in dicks embrace.

  dick watchers john closely while the blond pulls out his phone. After ringing a few times the person on the other end picks up. "Hay it's been awhile....... yeah I'm not calling about a demon issue this time....... um you see aparntly this cult- ......... yeah cults suck, but this cult got ahold of your dna...... yeah no clue how, but they also took nightwings dna and created a child...... yep uh so congrats it's a boy can you pop down here?... ok see ya in a few" dick watched as Constantine talked to his.. co-parent? With curiosity.

Once the conversation between the two was done John turned to dick "ok he will be here in a few he seems to have taken the news well" Constantine says.

As soon as the words left the blonds mouth a swirling Lazarus green portal opened in the cave. A young male looking around dicks are steps through.

Dicks breath catches in his throat as he stares at the being in front of him. He was wearing a jumpsuit that looked to be made of the night sky. He had hair as silver as the moon and eyes that shined Lazarus. His cheeks and pointed ears covered in consolations much like the boy in dicks arms.

His skin was a pale green till you get to the top half of his face where it looks as if his skin is made of the night. The beings gaze drifted from Constantine to dick to the child.

Dick instinctively held the little boy closer, the shifting of his tiny body causing the boy to wake and open his glowing Teal eyes. "I'm not a threat" the being says after assessing dick.

"I'm guessing your the poor guy who got roped into this mess" the being says and rubs the back of his neck awkwardly. Dick nods "yeah I'm nightwing, I'm guessing your the 'ancient of space'".

The being smiles at him, his sharp teeth showing "uh I prefer danny if ya wouldnt mind" dick raises an eyebrow at not just the name but at the males southern accent.

"Sure, then call me dick" the vigilante says, dicks gaze locked onto the being, watching for any signs of hostility. "Dick?" The being asked with a small snort "it's what my parents called me". "Well if you both arnt going to address the elephant in the room I am, so danny what are you planning to do with the kid?" Constantine questions.

The mood of the room becomes tense. The boy in dicks arms is trembling. "Well I assumed dick here wouldnt want to take care of a child at his age, what are you 20? Pluse being a vigilante. So I was gonna take the tot and raise him in the realms. I mean it would be better to keep the kid on the other side of the vale with his half ghost nature, and with the GIW still being around" danny says his glowing eyes holding dicks gaze, searching for something. Dick didnt know what.

"And besides I'm sure elle will be thrilled to have a brother" the being adds his gaze honeing in on the boy hideing his face in dicks chest. Dicks expression twisted into one of frustration.

"Then what I never get to see our kid again, your just gonna what take him?! You seem to have made all these decisions by yourself, when this is both of ours issue" dick snaps causing danny to flinch back.

"I didnt mean to make you upset. I just mean it would be safer and healthier for the kid to be with me. He needs a stable supply of ectoplasm to stay stable, pluse if the GIW gets ahold of him who knows what those fucks would do. Also I just assumed you wouldnt want anything to do with a kid made by our stolen dna, isnt that why you called? So you would have to deal with this?" The being says his arms crossed.

Dick flatly stared at the male "well you shouldnt have assumed, I called so we could work this out together. I'm not dumping our kid on you. Also who the fuck is the GIW." The vigilante states shifting the boy in his arms to his hip.

"Dont worry about that kid, danny and the JLD are taking care of them" john cut in and danny nodded. "Ok so we will be co-parenting then right?" Danny asks tilting his head "I mean i guess so also for the record I'm 26 not 20" dick says.

Danny smiles and walks closer to dick looking down at the kid in his arms. "Hi there my name is Danny but you can call me papa if ya want, I promise I'll keep you safe" danny says, the boy in dicks hold looks at him, his glowing Teal eyes study him for a moment before he turns, stretches his arms out, a silent demand for danny to hold him.

The being compiled without hesitation. Sweeping the boy from dicks arms holding him close to his chest. "Have you named him yet?" Danny's attention back to dick "um no I havent" the vigilante supplied.

"How about callisto?" Danny asked dick thought for a moment "sure why not". "Ok then its settled little tot your name is callisto." Danny says smiling softly at the boy. Dick watched in awe of the scene and only one word came to his mind watching Danny's face soften, beautiful.

Dick thought the being holding his child was very beautiful. "Ehm any way we should get to know eachother a bit better, mabey over a coffe" dick says before he could think. Danny raises a brow at him a smirk gracing his blue lips. "Are you asking me on a date hero boy?" Danny asked amusement clear In his tone.

Dicks smirked right back at the being "it Doesn't have to be but I wouldn't be opposed to the idea". "Well you cant jude me for fucking demons after this, I'm out have fun" Constantine says abruptly, yeeting himself through a portal.

Danny laughed "well then, how about I show you my haunt, it's where callisto will for the most part will be staying due to his biology. Then we can leave him there with my sister while we get that coffee, and who knows mabey I'll end up showing you my room" Danny says winking.

"Well then shall we" dick replays winking back makeing his way towards the Lazarus portal in the middle of the cave. Putting an extra sway to his hips while walking.

Danny whistles and follows after him, yeah mabey co-parenting with a non human will be some fun.

______________________________

Ok so yeah I've been kinda dead this part week, sorry. Also here are some fun little facts I wanted to add but couldnt fit in

- i picked callisto because it reminds me of constalation

-callisto is wearing one of steph's shirts

-dannys isnt the ghost king

-danny is a full ghost, he was killed by the GIW, along with everyone else in amity

-dannys haunt is an amity look alike but it has an observatory like building in the center that is Danny's home, pluse the whole town looks very spacey

-dan is rehabilitated and is basically Danny's big brother figure

-everyone in amity came back as ghosts because of the ecto contamination, and because of the violent deaths they faced by the GIW

-danny is working with the JLD to decimate the GIW

[winterrrnight]

hi baby!! congrats you so deserve it!💘💘💘💘

can i request for rafe 6 or 29? whichever you like more💘

hey cami!! thank you sooo much darling 🥹🥹 i really have no words on how much your support means to me; you've been there since almost the beginning and you've never failed to shower love on my fics 🫶🏻 it really means so much to me <3 i hope you like this!! I used both the prompts :)

cherry flavoured

PAIRING: soft!rafe cameron x gn!reader

SUMMARY: you and Rafe have your first kiss, and he tastes just like cherries.

WARNINGS: fluff, kissing, the reader is a little shy and nervous, rafe is a massive softie + ignore any little grammatical/spelling mistakes!

EDITH SPEAKS: I think this came out pretty cute! This girl here hasn't had her first kiss yet (spare me please, I've had zero luck with guys or girls also I want it to be w someone special, not just anyone) so I think when I'll have it this is literally how I'll react :')

PROMPTS REQUESTED: "quit smiling at me. I can't stop messing up my sentences with you looking at me like that." & "should we like, talk about it?" "aboutwhatnothingweirdhashappenedlatelyhaha-" "let me see if I can jog your memory."

100 followers celebration || navigation

He looks at you, a softer look taking over his eyes as he gazes over the warmth in your cheeks and your slightly swollen lips. You find your mind going in a haze as you think about how you just kissed Rafe for the first time.

You both met each other at one of his parties, you being new to the island, had no idea about anyone at the party except your friend who dragged you there. You had just taken a cup full of your drink and were desperately trying to navigate your way all alone throughout the crowd of people, your friend long gone with some guy.

Even though you were extremely careful, it was not enough, because the exact thing you were dreading happened. You bumped into someone, and you mentally cursed yourself for wearing a white cardigan, because it seeped through the material and stained it, and not to mention how it started to stick to your skin in an ungodly manner.

The guy in front of you, which you learnt is the one who's party you're at, was totally embarrassed with what he did; apologised nothing less than a 100 times, and when his attempt of trying to wipe it off with some paper towels failed, he took you to his room upstairs to give you some of his clothes. Not to forget he kept on apologising to you, and at one point, you forgave him, because you knew it was just an honest mistake (and also because you can only hear the word 'sorry' so many times).

Oh and you were so glad you did forgive him, because his clothes were some of the most comfortable you've ever worn. He let you take any one of his crewneck, and you chose one in your favorite color. It encased you in warmth and his scent of fresh detergent, which provided you immediate comfort.

But instead of going down back, you both sat on the floor next to each other and talked. He made you laugh a lot, but also, made sure to not make you super uncomfortable with questions you may not want to answer. At the end, you had to leave, but he didn't let you go without asking you out on a date and with your number in his phone.

And now here you are, right after one of your dates, where he kisses you with all the courage he has. You knew you've been wanting this for too long now, so when he started leaning back, you pressed your lips back onto his, pulling him closer to you and kissing him deeper, and harder.

When you pull back, he looks at you, and you find your cheeks heating up, red coating you everywhere. After a few moments of silence, Rafe decides to speak up.

"Should we like, talk about it?" He says, you knowing fully well he means the kiss.

A giggle escapes your lips as you start to speak. Well, speak is the wrong choice of word. You ramble.

"Aboutwhatnothingweirdhashappenedlatelyhaha-" you say in one breath, as you feel your hands getting sweaty. Rafe only looks at you with a grin; you getting nervous around him and jumbling up all your words is one of the first things he found cute about you.

"Let me see if I can jog your memory," he mumbles, leaning in to kiss you again. And you don't pull back. Why would you? He tastes so addictive, reminding you of cherries, and you only crave more with each passing second.

When he pulls back again, he's giggling at your expression, your face even more red than before (is that even possible?), your lips shiny and your eyes gleaming with the light of the lamp post you're both standing under.

He absolutely cannot stop smiling at you. You've made him so happy, he cannot fathom it. It's so easy for him to cheer up just the moment he spots you; you're the ray of sunshine falling onto the dark side of his moon.

You want to say something, anything, but your mind is all fuzzy and only random words leave your mouth. Rafe giggles harder as he wraps his arms around you and hugs you close to him.

You look at him, his lips still pulled in a smile, you think he hasn't stopped smiling since the date started.

"Quit smiling at me. I can't stop messing up my sentences with you looking at me like that." Finally, finally a proper sentence leaves your mouth, one which isn't spoken in a single breathe or isn't just necessarily a stack of words.

Rafe presses his lips to your forehead, his laughs slowly dying and your heart rate calming down as you stand hugging under the warm light of the lamp post.

You've never felt so serene.

↶ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊˎ-

TAGLIST: @runningfrom2am @ragingsammie @maybankslover @totalswag @madelynie @chenslucy @ietss @elle-mp3 @vianwrites

[crowleying]

My policeman | m!reader

Date: 06.12.2022

Pairing:  Tommy Shelby x m!reader

Reader’s pronouns: he/him

Words: 4.840

Fandom: Peaky Blinders

Characters: m!reader, Tommy Shelby, Polly Gray, Ada Shelby, John Shelby, Arthur Shelby, Esme Shelby, Harry Fenton, others

Genre: Romance

Length: Oneshot

Warnings: Angst with a happy ending

Requested: No

Prompts: No

Summary: Tommy Shelby is suddenly very interested in you and you have no idea why.

A/N: English is not my first language, so feel free to correct any mistake, and I would love to know what you think about it. If you like my works, please like and reblog them. REQUESTS ARE OPEN. I posted a List of prompts, so check it out! Let me know if you would like to be tagged in my works.

IF YOU LIKE MY WORKS, PLEASE REBLOG THEM

Masterlist

Ao3

You were on patrol around the city with one of your colleagues. You knew he was on the Peaky Blinders' payroll but, after all, only a handful of policemen weren't. You were one of them. It was confusing to most people in Small Heath, mainly because they knew you were John Shelby's best friend. He had offered you money to give them information and turn a blind eye to their affairs as they did with everyone, but you had made it clear that you couldn't be bought. He had respected that. The balance was fragile. The whole deal was based on your friendship. You had been able to refuse the money without losing your job because you were friends and people respected you because of your bond to the most powerful family in Birmingham, and a little because you did your job and wouldn't hesitate to throw people in jail if needed. You didn't pretend not to see what happened around you. Not even if the Peaky Blinders were involved. However, being friends with John also prevented you from trying to tear the whole business down. Everyone had learnt it pretty soon, so they had just started doing their things when you weren't on patrol, which meant your rounds were always quiet. You didn't complain. You didn't like arresting people, especially if they were Blinders.

That day seemed to be especially quiet. Well, as quiet as Small Heath could be. Your eyes observed the people going on about their lives around you while you chatted with your colleague. Many people greeted you, and you smiled back.

You turned to your partner, your eyes wide and a big smile on your face. "What?! No way. What is this, your... seventh?"

"Yeah," he replied smiling proudly under his thick moustache. "Four girls and two boys. I'm rooting for another boy."

"Congrats!" You patted his back, but you saw his face change, suddenly becoming serious.

He looked up and touched his cap, tilting his head down. "Morning, Mr Shelby."

You turned and saw Thomas Shelby on one of his horses, riding down the road. You nodded towards him as a form of greeting but didn't touch your cap or wish him a good day.

He nodded back at you, and you felt his icy blue eyes pierce through you. It wasn't anything new. You felt that way every time he looked at you and you wondered if everyone could feel it when they were under his gaze as if he could see everything that was inside. It felt as if God was scrutinizing you. You did understand why John called him Tommy the Almighty.

Even as he passed by you, you could still feel his eyes burn holes in you. You kept walking but turned to look at him and saw he was already looking. You turned back to the front.

"I don't know how you can refuse their offer. By the way he was looking at you, he really wants you on his payroll."

When you walked into the Garrison that night and asked Harry for a glass of whiskey, he refused your money and said it had already been paid for, then nodded towards the private room next to the counter.

"Yeah, well, John knows it won't happen." You shrugged, but the feeling of his eyes on you lingered and stayed with you for the rest of the day.

"Mr Shelby wishes to speak with you."

You rolled your eyes at the formality John liked to mess with when you were involved and grabbed your glass heading to the room.

"Come on, John, how many tim-" you started as you opened the door only to stop mid-sentence when you met Tommy's icy gaze instead of John's warm and playful one. "Thomas."

He was smoking alone, a glass of whiskey in front of him.

He beckoned you with a motion of his fingers. "Close the door and take a sit."

Your eyebrows raised, unimpressed by how he was treating you like one of his men. Maybe he had forgotten you didn't work for him.

"If you want to buy me, Thomas, you can save it. I'm not on sale," you said without doing any of the things he had asked of you.

He observed you for a few long seconds as if trying to read you. Then he sighed, tearing his gaze away from you and knocking the ash of his cigarette into the ashtray. "That's not why I wanted to talk to you."

When you still didn't move, he turned towards you again. "I promise. Please, come sit with me."

You hid your surprise at hearing him saying the word "please." You didn't think he even knew how to pronounce it for lack of use. You closed the door behind you and took a sit on the other side of the table from him.

You rolled the whiskey in your glass waiting for him to speak. "What did you want to talk about?" you asked when he didn't.

He offered you a cigarette but you refused. You didn't trust him outside family gatherings and that wasn't a social call.

"I would like to invite you to dinner."

You frowned. You had already been to dinner at the Shelbys plenty of times and not once had Thomas himself been the one to invite you. "Uhm... sure, tell Polly to count me in."

"I mean with me."

His reply startled a laugh out of you. "I never thought you were one for pranks. Thought you left that to Johnny."

He stared at you, his expression unchanged. There was no trace of a smile on his face. "I'm serious."

You looked back at him with a newfound seriousness and slammed your glass on the table, spilling some of its content. "I really hope not."

It was your turn to observe him, trying to understand what his real intentions were. "What do you really want from me, Thomas?"

"I want to take you out for dinner."

You snorted. "You think I'm a fool?"

"No," he let out much lower than his usual tone.

"You can't buy me so you're trying to get me arrested. That's too low even for you."

He shook his head. "That's not-"

"Save your bullshit," you interrupted getting up. You leaned forward pointing a finger at him. "You try this shit again and I'll get you arrested."

You were smoking with John by the cut like you did when you were fifteen. You loved the fact that your friendship hadn't changed all that much, not after you had been to war together, nor when you had decided to join the police. With John, it had always been easy. No judgement, just two boys having fun and doing what they had to live in such a hard world.

Then you walked out.

"So, new girls?" he joked.

You looked at him unimpressed, before looking back in front of you.

John was the only person who knew you didn't like girls. You had found out thanks to him. When you were young, you had experimented with each other. There had been some kisses and a couple of hand jobs. He had soon understood he wasn't into men, but he had never judged you. To these days he still joked about it and you had never really minded until Thomas had asked you out.

"Did you tell him?"

He abruptly turned to look at you. "You know I would never."

"Then how the fuck did he know, John?" you asked, throwing your unfinished cigarette into the cut, clearly upset.

"Tommy, he always seems to know shit," he said slowly, playing with his cap and looking down at it in his lap. He looked at you. "But he means good. He isn't trying to fuck you up."

You snorted. You trusted John and you were sure he believed what he was saying, but Thomas was cunning and he could have people believe anything he wanted. Maybe he had tricked his own brother into believing he really was interested in you, knowing he would have put a good word in for him.

"Are you still coming to dinner tomorrow though?"

You had been a guest of the Shelbys every Saturday for dinner for as long as you could remember.

"Will he be there?"

"Probably."

You groaned.

"Come on. You won't even have to talk to him. How many times have you two talked at dinner?"

You frowned. "Probably more than you would expect."

Now that you thought of it, Tommy had always found a way to exchange a few words with you after dinner about the most random topics. You had always enjoyed those moments. Talking with him was nice. He didn't smile a lot, not like before the war, but he had always been kind to you. You had always thought he did that just for John's sake, so you had never considered him a friend or anything. In addition to that, the huge crush you had had on him had made it hard to be as comfortable with him as you were with the rest of the family. You had completely overcome that now, though. Still, the awkwardness was hard to shake off.

John bumped his shoulders into yours, bringing you back to the present. "The kids will be a pain if you don't come."

You rolled your eyes. "Fine."

When you stepped into the Shelbys' household the following evening, you got surrounded by John's kids. They either hugged you, pulled you somewhere, or screamed at you about their day. You loved them, but they could be a lot. Finally, Ada came to save you, and you smiled gratefully at her. She hugged you and invited you to follow her to the kitchen where all the others were. Tommy was missing, and you felt relief flooding you. You hadn't even finished greeting everyone when the front door opened. Little Finn ran to welcome the newcomer. You held your breath and your eyes found John's on the other side of the room. He looked guilty. You frowned, but before you could take him aside to ask what he had done, Tommy walked into the kitchen with Finn in his arms. When you turned towards him, he was already looking at you and you couldn't bring yourself to utter a word in greeting. Your lips stayed still.

John grinned triumphantly.

"Let's sit and eat," Polly said, setting the pot in the centre of the table.

While she served, everyone took a seat, and somehow you found yourself next to Tommy. John had taken the seat that was usually reserved for you and you had to take his. Now you understood the look you had seen in his eyes earlier. You would punch him later.

"Not exactly what I had in mind, but it's something." Tommy's murmur was drowned by the others chatting and you would have missed it too if you hadn't been so close to him.

You pretended you hadn't heard and instead thanked Polly for filling your plate.

For the whole dinner, you did everything you could to forget Thomas was there. You chatted with everyone, complimented Polly for her cooking, asked Esme how she could be so patient with all those troublemakers around, glared at John multiple times, joked with the kids, even taking one of them on your lap when he wanted to show you the small gap in his smile left by the tooth he had lost a couple of days earlier.

Tommy stayed silent for the most part, as usual. He commented on a thing here or there and messed with the kids for a little fun. You could always feel his gaze on you. His eyes might have been the colour of ice, but sure as hell, you could feel them burn on your skin. He saw to it so that your glass was never empty, and even if you remembered distinctly rejecting him that day at the Garrison, it seemed like he hadn't gotten the memo, although he had probably just decided to ignore it because Tommy Shelby only ever played by his rules.

After dinner, the children went off somewhere to play while Polly and Esme washed the dishes. Ada had excused herself saying she was tired and she would go to bed early, but you were pretty sure she would climb out of the window to go see Freddy. Arthur took out a bottle of rum and filled four glasses.

"I should go, actually," you announced, getting up.

"No way!"

"Oh come on, you can stay for a nightcap."

John, who was now sitting next to you, pulled on your arm and you sat back down with a sigh. Arthur grinned and a small, pleased smile appeared on Tommy's face. You wanted to slap it away. Instead, you glared at him and grabbed his cigarette case to take one in retaliation. It only caused his smile to grow.

You put the cigarette between your lips and scowled at him when he leaned in touching the end of your cigarette with his to light it up. You hated how your heart skipped a beat and blood rushed to your cheeks. You inhaled and pulled back quickly, missing the looks Arthur and John had exchanged seconds earlier.

You exhaled the smoke and quickly downed your glass, making John snort. You pushed the glass towards Arthur, silently asking for a refill. He chuckled and shook his head but poured you another glass. Tommy was looking at the whole thing with an amused glint in his eyes. Once again you did your best to ignore him.

"Seeing a girl tonight? Is that why you're in a hurry?" Arthur teased.

You felt Tommy tense next to you, but you couldn't be sure and you didn't dare turn to look at him, not wanting to give yourself away.

You waved a hand. "I'm leaving them all to you, Arthur."

That made him laugh. "That's wise."

"You should have it easy now that Johnny is taken," you commented. Then you turned towards Tommy. "What about you, Thomas? I bet you have all the girls falling for you. What is it? Nobody is good enough for the great Thomas Shelby?" you teased.

"You're the only person who calls him that," John commented amusedly.

"And aunt Pol when she's angry," Arthur added.

Tommy stared at you seriously.

When you had given up on waiting for a reply and went to take a sip of your rum, Tommy finally spoke. "I already have my eyes on someone," he said quietly.

You choked on the rum and coughed. John patted your back. "You alright?"

You nodded and pulled at the collar of your shirt, although it didn't really do anything to help your situation. You did your best to compose yourself while Tommy tried to hide a small amused smile behind his cigarette.

"So, who's the lucky girl?" you asked when you finally managed to breathe again.

Arthur's boisterous laugh filled the room. "That would be some change."

Tommy paid him no mind and kept his glacial eyes on you. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

Both his reply and Arthur's comment confused you. Before you could inquire further, you heard John's glass clink on the table, soon followed by Arthur's. Your eyes snapped to them as they got up.

"We're headin' to the Garrison. Are you coming?" Arthur asked.

"Uh... no. I should really go. I have work tomorrow."

John patted your back. "See you tomorrow?"

You nodded and they left. The last conversation had made you forget about John's guilty look at the beginning of the night.

You suddenly realized they had left you alone with Tommy. You cleared your throat and put out your cigarette into the ashtray, then downed the rest of your rum.

"I should really go."

You got up, but so did Tommy. He killed his cigarette. "I'll show you to the door."

You nodded stiffly and walked to the door. When you stopped at the hanger to get your coat, you found him closer than expected and your heart picked up.

"You like horses, don't you?" he asked, putting his hands in his pockets. You hated how cool he was about everything.

You nodded.

"You should come to the races once."

"Have you forgotten I go there for work sometimes?"

"Not for work."

Not again.

"It's not something I enjoy watching," you said shortly, then opened the door, anxious to leave that hallway that had never looked so small in your whole life.

"You might change your mind."

"I don't think I will," you insisted dryly, looking at him in the eyes, hoping he would get the message that you were talking about the whole situation.

You were doing everything you could to avoid Tommy, and it was not working. On the contrary, he was everywhere. He would pass by your house every time you were leaving for work and he would offer to walk or drive you there. You refused every time. You would meet him as you were walking by the cut. You would see him at a pub he had never frequented before. You even saw him at the market a couple of times. When you saw him in church you thought you were hallucinating. It seemed like the universe was working against you, but it was only Tommy Shelby, and maybe his family.

You opened the door and he held it open for you. "It's not a no."

You were surprised to find a little box on your desk at work on Monday. You looked around to see if any of your colleagues had noticed anything. They seemed to be minding their business as usual. You returned your attention to the box and opened it. A precious pocket watch was laid there, with a piece of paper. You picked up the note. You didn't recognize the handwriting. It read "counting the seconds to the moment you'll accept my offer."

John always found a way to mention him. He had never talked about Tommy as much as he had in the last few weeks. You pretended not to notice. You hoped Tommy would just give up at some point. How wrong you were.

You crushed the note in your fist and rolled your eyes, closing the box vehemently and shoving it in the only drawer in your desk that had a key. You locked it up. You thought you would deal with that later, but it was a busy day and you forgot until the next morning when something else was waiting for you on your desk.

It was your favourite book from when you were a kid. It was about horses. They were your favourite animals and obviously, Tommy somehow knew. You opened it and on the first page, with the same handwriting from yesterday's note, there was written "I think you'd really like to meet my horses. Think about it."

That evening you went to the Shelbys, hoping to find Tommy and give him back his presents. When Ada opened the door, you walked past her hastily.

You heard one of your colleagues calling you, so you quickly closed the book and threw it into the drawer where you had left the watch.

"Where is Thomas?" you asked looking for him around the house, startling the others, confused by your manners so out of character.

"He isn't back yet," Ada said, closing the door to follow you into the kitchen.

You let yourself fall down into a chair with a groan and discarded your hat on the table.

"Hello to you too," Polly piped up.

"Hi Pol, I'm sorry, but your nephew is trying to ruin me."

"Tommy?" Esme asked frowning. She wasn't a fan of him, but she was quite sure he would never do anything to ruin you.

"What are you talking about?" Polly asked taking a seat next to you.

"He is just being over dramatic." John waved a hand. You glared at him.

"Let him talk." Ada slapped his arm, making him roll his eyes. "What did Tommy do?"

You suddenly sobered up. You couldn't tell them. They wouldn't approve. You shook your head and got up. "It's nothing. I should just talk to him. I'm sure we can fix this."

"Where are you going? Stay for dinner." Polly stopped you gently.

Before you could refuse and leave, someone knocked.

Ada went to open the door.

"Hello, Ada." Thomas.

Ada was already telling him you were there looking for him when you walked up to him, hat in hand. He smiled smugly at you.

"Thought you would last longer," he commented.

You just looked at him as if you wanted to kill him.

Ada's eyes moved between the two of you.

"Would you mind leaving us, Ada?" Tommy asked, without taking his eyes away from you.

She rolled her eyes but did as she had been asked.

Once she was gone, you pulled the gifts out of your coat and shoved them into Tommy's chest. "You can take these back and leave me alone."

His hand raised slowly to take a hold of the items and he glanced down at them. "You didn't like them?"

"That's not the point. Stop fucking trying to ruin me. If I'm such a huge problem for you, why don't you pay my superior to transfer me somewhere else? Do you really hate me so much just because I'm not on your fucking payroll?"

He shook his head. "I'm not trying to ruin you."

"Really? Because sending me gifts at work tells me otherwise."

"I really am into you."

You scoffed. "Sure."

"What do I have to do to make you believe me?" his voice, quiet as usual, seemed to fill the entire house. Only then you realized the chatter that previously came from the kitchen had stopped. You glanced that way, then looked back at Tommy.

You lowered your voice. "If you care for me, stop this."

For the first time since you knew him, Tommy looked like he didn't know what to say.

You didn't wait for a reply. You just headed to the door, stopping in your tracks when Polly's voice came from the kitchen. "You're not staying for dinner?"

It was clear the others had listened in on your conversation.

You sighed. "Maybe next time."

You opened the door and stepped outside, putting your hat on.

Polly's interjection had given Tommy enough time to come up with something to say.

"Just give me one chance," he said quickly before you could leave. "We can go out of the city with the horses tomorrow afternoon. Nobody will see us. If after that you still want me to leave you alone, I will."

You turned to look at him and you hated yourself for being so weak.

The following day was nerve-wracking. No matter how you tried to distract yourself, you couldn't stop thinking about the date. The anxiety was eating at you. Part of you didn't want that afternoon to arrive, and another part was looking forward to it.

"One chance. Then you will leave me alone."

Time would not stop flowing for your sake, and soon you were making your way to meet with him out of the city. You asked the driver to drop you off way before the meeting point and walked the rest of the way.

Tommy was waiting for you with two horses. He smiled when he saw you, and you didn't know if it was knowing that this was the last chance you had given him or if that was actually the most genuine and happiest smile you had ever seen on his lips.

You smiled back. It was a very different smile from his. It was small and it had a hint of sadness to it. You wished this was real, but you couldn't bring yourself to believe it.

Without a word you got on the horses and guided them through the countryside. Sometimes Tommy would stop to show you something. He told you about his love for the countryside and that he would love to live there one day. He liked the idea of being surrounded by green fields and animals, especially horses, a passion the two of you shared. When you asked why he was so in love with the countryside, he explained that it made him feel closer to his mother. That was where her people lived and where she had grown up.

You hadn't realized, but at some point, you had relaxed. You and Tommy talked, joked, laughed and raced each other. Before you noticed the sun was setting. Tommy suggested you stopped to enjoy the view before heading back.

You got off the horses and sat down on the grass. You stayed silent for a while, simply admiring the colours of the sky. When you turned to look at Tommy, he was already watching you. You stared at each other for a few long moments before he cleared his voice and looked away.

"What's the verdict, then?" he finally asked, not looking at you.

"I had a good time with you," you admitted easily.

"But?"

"Is this really what you want? This life is... not great. So if you ever liked a girl in your life I suggest you go back to her and give it one more try."

"It's always been you and I know you are scared, but I sincerely don't give a fuck if you are a policeman or if you aren't on my payroll. We made arrangements to do our things when you're not on patrol just so you wouldn't have to arrest any of us. It wasn't much trouble. You are important to me, to all of us. I would never do anything to hurt you."

Your brain had gotten stuck on the first few words. "Always?"

"What?"

"You said it's always been me."

"Yes."

"Then why now?"

"Because I found out only recently that you like boys."

You frowned. "How did you find out?"

"I saw you with a man one night, in the alley behind the Garrison," he admitted.

"Oh... Right. So John didn't tell you."

"No, not a word. He would rather cut his own arm off than betray you."

"I know," you replied relaxing.

"But you thought he had told me."

"Maybe he had mentioned when he was drunk." You shrugged.

"I promise he didn't."

You nodded.

"I've had a crush on you for a while too," you said, still looking at him. You had long forgotten about the sunset. How could you look at something as trivial as the sun when you had Tommy Shelby right beside you?

"Yes?" he asked, hopeful.

You smiled and nodded. "It's impossible not falling for you."

He leaned closer but stopped a few inches away from your face. "I really want to kiss you right now."

"Fucking finally Tommy, dinner was getting cold," Polly's voice came from the kitchen as you followed him inside the house that night.

"What are you waiting for, then?" was all that came out of your lips before they met his.

"Sorry Pol," he replied taking little Finn in his arms and putting his cap on his youngest brother.

He reached for your hand with his free one after you had hung your coat. You took it, although nervously. He had assured you that his whole family knew about him and that they would accept you but after a lifetime of being careful about everything you did and said, you couldn't just stop.

Tommy kissed your temple, hoping that would help your nerves.

You smiled at him, then winked at Finn who grinned back.

Tommy led you to the kitchen. "We have a guest," he announced. Everyone turned to look at you, and your grip tightened on Tommy's hand. They all seemed surprised.

"But it's not S-" Arthur was cut off by John shoving his elbow into his brother's ribs.

That seemed enough to shake Polly out of her surprise. "Of course!" She hugged you smiling. "You're always welcome."

You felt your nervousness melt away and hugged her back. "Thanks, Pol."

She pulled back and turned to her nephew, pointing a finger at him. "If you hurt him, Thomas Shelby, I'll make you pay for it."

"What?! Why are you telling me?" he asked putting Finn down.

"Well, because he would never do anything bad," she replied without even thinking about it.

"Wait, aunt Pol. He is my best friend, I should be the one to give Tommy the talk."

Tommy shook his head. "This is absurd."

"Come on, I'm sure he is more than capable to look after himself."

You nodded quickly, agreeing with Ada.

"And I'm sure Tommy won't do anything he might regret unless he wants to have the whole family against him," she added crossing her arms and glaring at him.

You sighed and turned to look at Tommy. "Don't worry, I'll protect you from them."

Tags: @one-green-frog

[spiderlandry]

congrats!!!! i was wondering if you could do a childhood friends to lovers drabble with ethan landry?

thank u anon!! i Love childhood friends to lovers (i already have one for ethan in my wips, so i ended up making this one a little different, but my wip sounds like something you’d be into so stick around for when i release that soon!)

used a jack gif because i am running out of cute ethan ones 😧 this turned out way longer than expected sorry omfg

100 follower event

warnings/tags: mostly just fluff w ethan 😮‍💨 ghostface not mentioned, one use of y/n, mentions of dieting (by ethan b/c he’s going to the gym), insecurities

off the table — ethan landry

“Ethan, look at the camera!”

He stares at his phone, watching through the ‘movies’ you used to film at his house when you were younger. Your voice sounds squeaky, matching his at the time. The video is blurry, but he can see his own goofy pose through the pixels as you turn the camera to him, and then here comes his favourite part, when you turn the camcorder and set it on the coffee table and he can see you and him sitting on the floor of his family living room.

“Introduce yourself, come on!”

“Ethan?” A knock on his bedroom door forces him to shut off his device and hug it to his chest, leaning back against his headboard.

“Yeah?” He responds to the all-too familiar voice, you, on the other side of the wood, opening the door.

“Um—“ You squint your eyes at him, as if you’d heard the sounds coming from his phone. Shit, did you hear? “You have any plans tonight?” You don’t mention the way he’s visibly relieved when you ask.

“No, why?” He’s back at ease with you again, pushing back the thoughts of a future with you to the back of his mind.

“Dinner?”

“I want wings,” He confesses.

You chuckle at his admission, knowing he’d been dieting because he began regularly going to the gym with Chad. (Which, honestly, was a treat to your eyes—but he’d never know.)

“I’ll get wings.” You pull out your phone to order, then adding, “I won’t tell Chad.” Before you leave and close the door.

He runs his hands down his face. Why did he think becoming roommates with you was a good idea? Oh, right, because you promised each other when you were kids.

It’s not the fact that you’re roommates. It’s that you’re just roommates, at least at this moment. But you’re also each other’s best friend since childhood—a connection that neither of you plan to change.

He watches through the video folder he has, titled, ‘y/n and ethan’ consisting of the videos you two filmed with a shitty camcorder at his dad’s house.

It was a time capsule of sorts—the videos progressed and the two of you grew up—but as time passed, the entries became less frequent. The last time was before you both separated for the first two years of college, when you went to study abroad. But you came back, reminded him of the promises you both made; telling him ‘the offer is still on the table.’ and he ended up moving in with you as per the plans you made as children.

This year of living together has been like if nothing ever changed, like you never went anywhere else, never spent two years apart from him. Though, there are flashes of uncertainty. Cracks in your demeanor that leaves him wondering if he truly knows you still.

Each moment where you mention someone in your life he doesn't know, he feels a sting. And on top of that, he feels guilt. How can he stay in your life keeping this secret from you? It eats at him.

He's in love with you. There's no denying that. The problem lies in how long he can hold it in, out of fear of ruining what he has with you. But knowing you, you would probably reject him so nicely that he wouldn't notice. There is no chance you'd feel the same, he thinks.

You both eat wings on the couch, watching your favorite movie. Neither of you care about the close distance, shoulders touching and hands brushing against each other when the movie ends and you begin to cleanup.

In the kitchen disposing of trash, you lean against a counter while he gets busy tidying up the kitchen. He can feel your stare on him, burning.

"Are you just gonna stand there?" He laughs, but there's a waiver in his voice that is hard to miss.

"Were you watching the videos of us? You know. Earlier."

His heart pounds in his ears. "Yeah. Why?" He doesn't see a point in lying anymore.

You sigh, "I miss you too, you know."

His head snaps up to meet yours, a longing gaze in your eyes.

That's when he realizes that you've stepped closer, your warmth practically radiating off your figure. His mind blanks.

"I feel like I've been..." You pause to think, "I don't know. Distant?"

Between the two of you, you were always the more honest one. A trait he admires, a reason to look up to you. You never shy away from a conversation when it's needed.

Ethan's mind jumps to a worst case scenario. Multiple, actually. Why are you telling him this? You're about to break bad news to him, aren't you?

Reading the uncertainty in his eyes, you continue.

"Something's changed." You shrug, looking to him for an answer.

"No, why--why would you say that?"

"I'm sorry, E."

His brows furrow. Now he's even more confused.

"I feel like I don't know how to fucking act around you anymore."

Woah. Now where did that come from?

His shoulders slump at the mere though of you not wanting to be around him. Did he do something wrong? Are you uncomfortable?

You mumble something inaudible.

"What?" He whispers, almost breathless.

"IthinkI'minlovewithyou."

He's certain his heart stopped beating. He needs to get his ears checked, surely.

"Can--can you say that again?"

You stare at him through your lashes, a frown forming on your lips. He wants nothing more than to wipe it off you, but first he needs to make sure he heard you correctly.

"I'm in love with you." You stop looking at his eyes, unable to face him. "And I'm sorr--"

He engulfs you in a hug before you can finish.

"Don't ever be sorry," He tightens his hold, and you reciprocate. "I thought--I didn't think you'd ever feel the same."

He can physically feel you relaxing.

"You're an ass."

That gets a laugh out of him. "Why?"

"You made me say it again."

"You know what? I'll make you a deal."

"Yeah? Is it a good deal? Don't try to scam me."

He smiles, though you can't see it because your eyes are closed, too focused on the feeling of his arms around you. "I'll tell you how much I love you for as long as you want."

"Give me a timeframe."

"For the rest of our lives, hm? Deal?"

"Deal."

[sminiac]

Congrats on 400 followers🎉🥳🥳. Could you do a scenario for Piwon and how they would break up with you/ their reaction to realizing that they don’t love you anymore?

💌 — Thank you sm sweets! <3 I loooove writing angst even though I don’t get reqs for it, BUT YES. Was lowkey excited to pull up my feels playlist for this :b

⋆ Y. Keeho

So, so quiet, and diluted. He’s very naive when it comes to loving someone so in the first flicker of insecurity he’s immediately calling it quits in fear of dragging something out that’ll possibly never lead to anything deeper, or getting too attached to a point where it’s unnecessarily difficult and painful.

Curls in on himself more and more in the days leading up to him finally talking to you and when he does it, it’s not the most surprising thing. Hearing him abruptly cut off from his words and backing away from his train of thought because the tears find home in his throat so easily. Seeing him like this is rare, you’re so used to the talking being passed off to one another so seamlessly but he just continues struggling through his sentences no matter how many deep breaths and attempts to compose himself he takes. He really tries to communicate with you, lay everything out, plain and simple, but unfortunately he just can’t, his emotions get the best of him which both you and him know is completely unlike him.

He’s able to explain everything to you at a later date, which is just salt in a fresh wound, but he knows he can’t go on living like nothing that serious happened, especially after leaving you in the dark. Asks if you can meet up for coffee or call or something, is willing to write a handwritten letter if that’s what it takes to get you to hear him out. His reasonings for seeing you again are partly in best interest of himself, but he likes to think it gives you some sense of closure too, or at least a solid placement on your feelings towards him. The conversation goes quite smoothly compared to his first attempt, he even finds himself comparing the two of you now to when you first got together, it’s bittersweet, but he still cares for you so he doesn’t force it away. Holds your hand over the table while reminiscing, sharing old funny stories before parting ways.

Remainder of members under the cut!

⋆ C. Taeyang

Doesn’t realize nor feel the gravity of the circumstances that follow his decision to leave you. In fact, in the beginning he plays with the idea as it sparks to life, figures that the cons probably far outweigh the pros anyways, so why is he really playing along with you? Hes just so busy and caught up in the limelight that he realistically can’t even begin to remember all the details, the good points in your relationship, he’s far too fast to make a concrete resolution for his own absentmindedness, and inevitably it comes back to bite him in the ass.

Very straightforward, although there’s a tenderness to his disposition the more he lets the words flow. The more he talks the more he realizes how absurd this all sounds, and he’s quick to point out any of his faults and ignorance right in front of you. The conversation does nothing but solidify his point, but it also helps him understand just how gracious you are to him, how you’ve always been, and that keeps him on track because he knows that if you were to stay that you wouldn’t be able to find that growth if your own. Sets you free in a way, even if that sounds cringy and silly, he just doesn’t want to keep you to himself- nailed to the ground when you have so much ahead of you in your life, and the life of an idol wasn’t always so easy or kind to exclusivity.

Towards the end he recalls all of the milestones he’s hit with you by his side, behind the camera, always his number 1, reminds you that if you weren’t here he probably wouldn’t have made it this far. He literally counts his blessings whilst calling himself an idiot for not realizing it sooner.

⋆ C. Jiung

The type of ex you can be friends with and be completely platonic with after breaking up let me just say, even if there’s lingering feelings he’s never acting on it or allowing you to either. He’s very quick and precise, as soon as he’s sure, even confident in telling you he’s just not quite in love with you like that anymore then he’s calling you up, telling you to come over. Jiung’s just a very comforting and easy going individual, there’s obviously going to be a palpable sense of sadness in the air but he tries to keep things light instead of saying things to further fuel the tears- it’s kind of silly though, because no matter what he’d unintentionally do just that.

Comes right out and tells you, very straightforward at first,, almost a little too blunt, but he treats the wound with a gentle dressing, reminds you that he does love you, that it’s been there for days and days, that he’s walked with it, ate with it, sang with it, that his love for you won’t just disappear in the matter of seconds because of a change of labels.

Tells you that he understands if distance is what you want, that he won’t overstep or prod if that’s not what you’re comfortable with, so dedicated that he’d make sure any mutual friends don’t speak of him to you if the topic is much too sore to touch on. But! If your boundaries don’t come with a secure extent then he’ll merely act as a friend, not one you’d go to for every rant or life experience, but one that’s there whenever you need him to be. He’d still reach out to congratulate you on every achievement, milestone, every significant date too with a fitting paragraph in thorough detail about whatever it is he’s messaging you abou :,)

⋆ H. Intak

Terribly bitter. Becomes so self deprecating and the jabs at himself are sharp, like- would actually make himself miserable about losing feelings for you. Tries to ignore it, initially he doesn’t even want to acknowledge it, but the longer he lets it sit and fester the more it mercilessly eats away at him. Takes the time to sit and talk with Keeho, sorting his thoughts and tackling the much tougher questions he couldn’t bring himself to face alone, I think he wouldn’t come to the conclusion of breaking up with you himself, it would definitely have to come from someone. The situation doesn’t feel that weighty, or lucid until someone like Keeho is telling him that it’s the only option he has.

“I’m sorry” is said quite a lot when he has the time alone with you, his eyes already bloodshot around the edges and his lips swollen. The time passes by fairly quick in retrospect, but in the moment it feels like it just drags and drags.

Intak genuinely can’t bring himself to touch you or get so close to because he knows that’s when the tears will start again and there will absolutely be no consoling him to get them to stop. Maybe you’ll think of him as being one for dramatics, but he’s just such a lover that it’s crushing to even reach this point that he’s absolutely torn on your behalf. Only makes contact with you for the last time when you’re saying your last goodbyes, your personal belongings back in your care and his shoved into a corner in his room because he physically can’t take them out and sort through it. The hug only lasts for so long before he’s letting you go, choking out a goodbye with a forced smile. He just hopes you can’t see the tears building against his lower lid.

⋆ H. Shota

Soul knows you probably wouldn’t understand, but he tries to wait it out, the feeling of doubt every time he questions himself about loving you. He realized as the days past he grew more and more uncaring about what you were doing, who you were with, he found himself eager to end calls and to be left alone, purposely ignoring any questions his members had about how you were, when they’d see you again.

As soon as he stopped questioning why you didn’t text him or call, how he wasn’t repulsed by the thought of you loving someone else the way you love him, that it was time he broke things off. He deals with his emotions quite simply, chronologically, uses his brain more than his heart because then things are strategical and easy, but things weren’t quite as painless as he expected when finally confessing to you that he wanted to break up.

He knows the tears will come, the resentment, he hates the thought of you ever thinking about him with only a sour taste in your mouth and a shell of his current self kept frozen in your memory, he wants you to know the future him, the bad and the good, but it’s an incredibly selfish thing to ask of you, to stay even if he no longer loves you romantically, it leads to his emotions doubling in size, making his own tears unceasing as he holds you, scared that once he lets go you’ll disappear forever, completely. He goes through with it of course, despite his fears and insurmountable worry, he knows better than to ask you to stay.

⋆ K. Jongseob

Seob Is fairly well acquainted with the ‘you’re so mature for your age’ approach when being complimented on his sterling dedication and drive that keeps him moving forward in the music industry, because, well duh? But the good aspect of knowing how he handles early adulthood gets a little too into his head, therefore he lacks the emotional intelligence to navigate through his feelings when it comes to a point where he’s questioning himself and your relationship because he just doesn’t have the time at his disposal to face it.

He tries to work on himself at first, his doubt, the lack of security you have in place of his side— like a sample track he’s not confident or content with, he tries and tries to make it better, and that’s inevitably the downfall of his efforts, it’s the fact he has to try to keep loving you to begin with.

He’d like to think that he redeems himself by being an open book with you when he sits you down, pouring out all of his bottled thoughts and feeling, but the crushing truth does nothing but keep your aversion to his lack of self understanding stagnant. He’s soft when telling you that the two of you should break up, gentle, because he can’t bring himself to fathom the betrayal you probably feel now knowing how he’s felt under the layers of his forced affection and uninterested feelings.

[polyamorousmood]

Hi there, I want to thank you first for running such a helpful page!

So I'm actually just starting to explore polyamory. My girlfriend has been poly since I met her over a dating site, but I'll admit when we first started dating my insecurities made me not want to hear much about her other partners.

But over time, I started realizing not only that I may want to date more people but that I was missing out on a part of my girlfriend by avoiding something that is a feature of her person. And luckily we did have a good talk about it! We are gonna have a tabletop game night soon for me to hang with some of her partners, and maybe I'll be lucky and they find something to like in me too.

But honestly, it still gives me some anxiety to see her talk about her time with other people. I hate feeling jealous like that after wanting to work on it! I just really love her and don't want my insecurities to make us break up. Do you have any good advice for how I can help reassure and center myself?

I just want this girl to be happy and I'd like to be able to continue to be someone who makes her happy

Well, then I'll start by saying you're welcome! I'm so pleased you get something nice out of this blog 🥰

I have talked several times about how to handle jealousy I was going to post links, but honestly, it'd be like 6 links at this point. Search for "#jealousy" on this blog and you can find them. Please read those, they contain good thoughts.

I am struggling to find the words to explain just how touching I find it that you're opening up to this side of your partner. Its the sweetest, most beautiful of revelations. As a poly person I feel what you said is very true, and I would be really touched you're wanting to open that up.

I would therefore also be very concerned with making sure it went well, and be willing to do a lot to help you out. So I think it'd be a good idea for you to make dedicated time to thoroughly talk over your concerns with your partner before, and talk about how you felt about everything after. I find it useful to mention anything, even if you dealt with it and it ended up okay. Its totally fair and in fact probably helpful to your partner to say "it was a little weird at first when you gave X a hug, but I realized that was stupid and I think I'm okay now."

I think for someone in your position, who is working on expanding what you're comfortable with -- and as something not mentioned in the other posts I've made -- its going to be important to find the sweet spot for growth. That is, generally exposing yourself to situations that are uncomfortable, but that you're able to accept/work through/handle. Factors for this could include (but are not limited to):

length of exposure

topics/types of discussion (sex, similarities/differences between you and other partners, attractiveness, (dis)enjoyment of activities with other partners, etc)

type of activity

what sort of affection is shared with whom

the degree of "publicness"

Think it through, and start out with some things you know you can handle. Again, if you want to make progress, you should be seeking something that is a bit uncomfortable, but not so much discomfort you can't get over it in a timely manner. (As an example, my cutoff would probably be something like "I'm still bothered by the end of the next day, and after talking to my partner about it," but its okay if yours is somewhere else.)

Also worth noting you don't have to have a "total success" to be successful here. There may be certain things you're never fully comfortable with seeing/hearing about. Since it sounds like everyone else is okay with you not being comfortable with any knowledge, I'd be surprised if it'd be a problem for you to maintain a few boundaries about it, even after you've put in a lot of work to being more open.👍

Since you mentioned already that you're uncomfortable with her sharing things she'd done with others, I'd like to offer three points to that specifically.

Congrats fr fr on that self-awareness! 🧠Legit you should be proud

You can start small here too. If you're not ready to know full details about something, but want to try something, maybe just ask her to give you a one-sentence summary when you ask how it went so you can practice!

I want to offer you a reframing here. I think you're likely feeling insecure when she mentions fun with her other partners because your thought is something sorta like "she has so much fun with them, she can't even stop thinking about it when she's with me... she must like that more..." . . . But what if... instead... you worked on replacing that thought with something like "she loves me so much, she wants to share even her special experiences from her other partners with me"? Does that feel more wholesome? and do you think that paints your partner in a kinder light, too?

I wish you the very best of luck, but quite frankly, I don't think you need it. I think you've done very well so far, and will continue to do so under your own power. And I do hope you feel powerful for tackling this.

And as always, I LIVE for updates. I'm proud of you!! 💙💖🖤🥰