#also if you know what this is a reference to YOU BETTER BE CRYING WITH ME HERE đ đ§đ„șđUueuuue.đ§ue đđ„șee eđ„șđ„șđeUEE đ§đ„șđ§EEE đ§đ§
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you writing is so beautiful. the way that logan tries to stop her - how blunt and earnest he is and the worst person for the job (but also best, in his own way) but he's trying, gosh that got me. love the line about logan's tailights being a lighthouse, guiding her back out in all that dark, and then trying to make her promise she won't go back.
and how they bump into each other again, the way he takes time and listens to her each time had my heart aching. the way you write her grief felt so real (I really appreciate how you wrote this fic - my own mental health over the past few years has been rocky and this felt so - gosh, I don't know, relatable? hopeful? wonderful? to read), and the fact that he understands in a way that no one else she knows does - it such a rough connection but you have me feeling glad for each of their encounters.
âLogan.â He sighs when you frown. âI know, not how you remember. This is what I look like during the day; blessed with incredible good looks at night and, well,â he gestures at his face thatâs covered in scars, "this, during the day. Bit of a reverse Princess Fiona situationââ
Wheezing omg - perfect Wade introduction. And then that she goes back, and I that she hates but I love that he is getting a handle at how she thinks, how he makes her be honest. And gosh when he opens up in return, that fondness he had for Wade, how he's still hurting from before, I was inhaling this.
Loving 'DVDJ' (and the F9/Wade & Logan references omfg) and I so feel for reader and how hard it is to put yourself out there, but what a great group of people for her to surround herself with. And the whiplash with her finding him like that, how it still comes back to him after all the healing he's been trying to do, all of this made my chest ache.
Heâs talking about his team from there, you realize, and something clicks. All this time, you thought this was about him being unable to die due to his mutation, but itâs more than that. Itâs shame, remorse, grief, survivorâs guilt, all wrapped into one. // âYou did what they would have done. And now you⊠you need to allow yourself to honor their memory without feeling like you have to destroy yourself to do it. You deserve that.â
Ahh this made me want to cry - I love how you dug into his grief in this. How she's able to help him this time, find the words he needs to hear. And ahh I love how you write everyone - Vanessa, Wade, Althea. Logan's chip! I am tearing up again, especially at this part:
âI have people I care about again, and um, it scares me. âCause I donât want to let them down, and every day I feel like I will because of all of my⊠past shit.â He pauses and swallows hard before he continues, âThey show me so much kindness and understanding, that⊠that even though itâs fucking hard, I want to be able to see myself the way they see me. And allow them to care about me without feeling like I⊠have to earn it all the time, without destroying myself to do it.â
oh!! đ„șđ and then I love the reveal that the cliff was a space in his world, even with their shared history of it. like they were always meant to meet, the âThink it took me coming over here to find reason in it.â had me like !!!! - sad and lovely is so right.
ââsides, I donât know if I would have a lot of⊠consideration for peopleâs boundaries.â
this made me laugh (reference to Hugh's interview right??) omg. and the way you pace things, how they slowly get better and fall into place for her, it makes me so proud, even just as a reader.
âOh, yeah, baby. Wolverine goes both ways. All the ways, really.â He grins. âWeâre so alike.â // It isnât lost on you he doesnât deny a thing.
Grinning, oh my god. And how sweet she is with the gift and how Wade wants to take a new photo of his new world - my heart. And then how seeing Vanessa and Wade makes her think about more, when at the beginning that was impossible - weeping.
Everything thatâs been happening, that youâve been feeling, all the times something happened between the two of you that you couldnât put your finger on⊠it falls into place with a well-timed, completely unrelated question and a glance at him.
You like him.
!!!!! god, what a realization. and how she can't handle it, so real. And how he comes through the rain to check on her, oh my god. That he checked, and how scared he must have been!
âIâ No. Logan, this isnât about Wade or Vanessa, but itâs about⊠what they have. Something thatâs real, but imperfect, and thatâs what actually makes it perfect, and I just⊠I was in a really bad place for such a long time, I didnât give myself time to even think about⊠I havenât felt myself wanting for so long,â your gaze flicks up to his. âSeeing them just made me realize thereâs so much left that I still want.â // His expression softens, the balled fists by his side loosen, and his eyes search you, as if to see if that thing you want is him. Thereâs no doubt he finds his answer; youâre ever the open book when it comes to him, and your pulse quickens while he silently observes you.
Oh. And oh my god that perfectly imperfect kiss, the fact he's been wanting to for ages!!!!! I am screaming. âWouldnât be the first time we figure it out together, huh?â !!!! (the vein appreciation, loved that)
âIâll make it good for you,â he promises. âYou want that?â
eep! đłđ the smut was so perfect, so good. I am obsessed with how soft he is for her -
âLet me give you something to come on,â he murmurs, before fitting a finger at your entrance.
LOGAN đł the desperation with how theyâre still on her table, how sweet and pleased he is - the âthen get it outâ, omg he is so filthy. This was amazing (that stomach vein yesssss) just absolutely steamy as hell and so so well-written and I had to keep taking breaks to stare at the wall. Phew! Fucking her against the wall!!!! I love the use of the strength here and yessss a long night indeed!! đđđ
And gosh, the last segment. No words, my heart is tied up in the sweetest of strings and knots. This was really something special. I already want to reread and pick each line apart. This was Logan and this is canon to me and wow I just loved this so much and I hope you are so proud of this fic because you really really should be. I am going to be thinking about this for a long time đ (and I would love to hear about the title, is Logan her cardinal?)(like a sign of hope and new beginnings?)
Cardinal
Pairing: Logan Howlett ("Worst" Wolverine) x f!reader
Rating: Explicit (for themes and smut).
Word count: 16.6k
Summary: At the edge of the world, someone from another keeps you from stepping off.
Tags/Warnings (Please, read the warnings!!): Post-Deadpool & Wolverine, female reader (female anatomy etc + 2 mentions of hair long enough to fall into your eyes), strangers-to-lovers, depression, suicidal ideations, suicide attempt and mentions thereof, addiction, drinking alcohol, drugs (mentioned not used), panic attacks, sobriety meetings, anxiety, recovery, co-dependency vibes, sprinkles of soulmateism, explicit smut (oral and unprotected PIV), happy ending (yay!!). If I forgot anything, please let me know!
Notes: Deadpool and Wolverine re-triggered my X-Men obsession and what started as a means to write some smut actually became this idea about two broken people who shouldn't even have met in the first place finding each other. There's a lot of me in this story, more than there's ever been I think. I'm sorry for this glimpse into my head, and I'm sorry if this isn't as Reader-insert as it should be, but... I'm not that sorry, you know. Huge thanks to @javier-pena , for not only reading this over and fixing so many embarrassing mistakes, but also for saying she'd read this even if it was 20k words and always believing in my abilities as a writer, even when I sometimes didn't.
If you want to read the smut as a standalone, you can! Just CTRL + F (or search in page) for 'Logan reaches for' and read away.
THE LOOKOUT
With closed eyes, you inhale the cool, December air, before looking down at your feet. Here, at the edge of the lookout, the grass has been trampled. You imagine friends taking bets on who dares get closest to the edge, lovers making memories, families taking pictures. Itâs strangely soothing that maybe youâre not the first to stand here to do this.Â
Far below your feet, the water laps at the rocks. The force of it depends on the weather and tonight itâs violent, with big splashes and crashing sounds. The wind tugs at your coat, pulling you towards the water as if to help you along, making you look up again as you hold your balance. In front of you, the line of the horizon is dark but visible â it would have been impossible to make out if the moon hadnât been as bright as it is.
Itâs like youâre looking at the edge of the world.
During the weeks that fall had made way for winter, you scoped the place out a couple times. The first time you stood at this cliffâs edge, the place it took you to mentally scared you so much that you got back into your car and broke down in tears. The next couple times, things became more and more serious, as your life crumbled around you, and your feelings numbed, and nothing seemed to matter anymore.
Something had crept in while you werenât looking, settling somewhere behind your eyes and spreading out to make a home behind your ribs, slowly but surely changing you. And once you realized it, it was already too late. It had grown large, became jilted and jealous, like it wanted all of you. It pushed away everyone and everything you held dear, until it was just you and that⊠something.
Especially during the quiet of the night, the lookout became soothing, a strange sense of familiarity enveloping you each time you were here. It was addictive and pretty soon, it became a daily routine to visit. But lately itâs been losing its shine, your feelings here dulling and darkening too. Youâre exhausted, fed up, tired of giving it more of you.
Today you want it to be your last time here.Â
Youâve had countless hours to contemplate what it would be like, imagined â all but romanticised â how the cold water would paralyse your limbs if the impact wouldn't do the trick. You read somewhere that itâs apparently like falling asleep when the water finally fills your lungs. Youâll be gone, but the thing will be too.
The thought makes your eyes fill with tears, but not from fear. All you feel is relief, like itâs right, how itâs supposed to be. It makes you smile despite everything, andâ
âHey, stop!â
A voice behind you thunders through the silence and makes you shriek into the night, dirt toppling over the edge of the lookout below the shuffle of your foot. A string of curses follows, heavy footfalls behind you indicating that the intruder is approaching you.
âFuck off!â you throw over your shoulder, your voice a roar with how itâs amplified by the wind.Â
After, your throat closes up, fighting the angry tears over the fact that you canât even fucking kill yourself in peace. Never have you seen anyone here at night, never. What you hate even more is how it breaks your momentum. The haze that was surrounding you is pierced, and your bodyâs baser instincts kick in. Adrenaline suddenly pumps through your veins, making your legs tremble, your heart hammer, your body scream for you to step back from where youâre standing. Your anger, however, has you nailed to the floor.Â
You almost miss the much softer, âHey,â as a man steps into your peripheral vision. You pretend like you donât hear him, or see him â you simply pretend he isnât there, focussing on getting back into your previous mindset.Â
But then he takes his hands out of his pockets.
âDonât fucking touch me,â you warn, hating how your voice comes out trembling â weak.
âEasy.â He holds his hands up in surrender. âWasnât planning on it.â
You stand there together for what feels like hours. You will yourself to not let it affect you, setting your jaw to keep your teeth from clattering on account of the cold, allow the wind to blow your hair into your eyes without brushing it away. Even when it begins to rain, you donât move, donât blink even once more than you need to. From the corner of your eye you watch the man shove his hands back in the pockets of the brown leather jacket heâs wearing, and you quietly celebrate that your surroundings are fazing him more than they are you.
âYou knowââ he begins.
âIâm not really looking for a conversation.â
âMe neither,â he immediately counters, suddenly impatient, âso Iâll get right to it: You planning on jumping? Because if you think the waterâs gonna be nice to you, youâve got that wrong. Youâll end up in there feeling everything, that fall isnât gonna do shit.â
Having expected a gentle approach, his bluntness and his tone knock the wind out of you. You cock your jaw, the shame creeping up your body the first bit of warmth youâve felt in a while. Your cold fingers ball to fists as you will yourself not to care. Yes, his words and the way he's shatterĂng your expectations with them sting, but you donât even know this guyâ
âAnd thereâs nothing fuckinâ peaceful about it, itâs just panic. Right before you go too farâŠâ He raises a fist and holds it against the center of his chest, â...thereâs this burning right here thatâs hell.â
âAnd what makes you such an expert?â you finally spit out.
âDied like that a couple times,â he says without waiting a beat.
The casual statement of something so bizarre beats your resolve before you know it, your head turning in his direction. ââA couple timesâ?â
âI, uhâŠâ You watch him hesitate, the moonlight illuminating the tick of his jaw, the bob of his throat as he swallows, the way his chest falls as he sighs, âLetâs just say I canât die.â
Before you can stop yourself, you snort at that. âThat must fucking suck.â
He barks out a laugh, âGot that right.â It startles you when his head suddenly turns to you, when he looks you in the eye for the first time. âBut trust me, being down there isnât much better.â
Thereâs something in the way he looks at you that makes you waver. You canât really place it, or decipher why it makes you want to open up to him. Maybe itâs because youâre freezing and itâs your body betraying you, tricking you into moving so you can generate some warmth, moving your lips to keep them from going blue. Or maybe itâs simply because heâs a stranger and itâs so much easier to be honest when there are no consequences.
âThings just feel soâŠ,â you begin, voice shaky. Every possible way to end the sentence crosses your mind, seemingly all wrong, before you settle on whatâs closest to how you feel, âendless.â
To your relief, he doesnât say anything. Doesnât tell you to give it time that it will get better, or any of the other bullshit youâve heard from all the other people that had been in your life and left a long time ago. You do find something else in the shift in his eyes, something you havenât encountered before.
Understanding.
It might be worse. If anything, itâs overwhelming, making your eyes dart away from his as you sniff.Â
The wind still tugs at you, the waves still hit the rocks, but your moment seems to have passed. Itâs a sobering conclusion, a twisted version of wrong place, wrong time. Or maybe it was him who was at the wrong place at the wrong time. Either way, the outcome is the same.
You take a step back, and another, but it takes considerable effort; you hadnât taken your numb legs into consideration. You stumble, falling back on the dewy, cold grass, not quick enough to catch yourself on your hands. With a groan, you move to sit upright.
âShit. Hey, you still with me?â The stranger kneels next to you, fingers lifting your chin to look into your eyes. âJesus, youâre fucking freezing.â
âNo s-sh-hit,â you retort.
He sighs, offering you a hand so he can pull you up. âCâmon, let's get you warmed up.â
â â â â â
Logan.
Thatâs his name.Â
Itâs how he introduced himself, anyway, after he suggested you follow him. To his credit, he did offer to drive you, but you didnât want to leave your car in the parking lot of the lookout. Logan waited 15 minutes for you while you put the blowers on the highest, warmest setting and waited for the feeling to return to your limbs. After, his brown truck led the way here â here being some hole in the wall, 24 hour diner. You could have not followed, but the drive was kind of mesmerizing; the night seemed darker than usual, and Loganâs tail lights served as a lighthouse.
Outside, the diner is all Christmas lights and flashing signs, but the interior is like something straight out of Twin Peaks; booths to the left, red barstools to the right, a girl that looks too pretty and too young to be here standing behind the counter. There were two other patrons you spotted along the way as Logan led you to one of the back booths. Once seated, Logan studied the pamphletsâor pretended to, more like, because as soon as the waitress came up he ordered two whiskeys and nothing else.
Between then and now, as you nursed your drink sip by careful sip, you hadnât learned much more about him other than that he could knock back a glass of whiskey like he got paid to do so. And in truth, you like it this way; preferring silent company, the droning of the machinery behind the counter and the quiet hum of a song on the jukebox next to the entrance. The white noise helps to distract from the white noise in your head. Settling back into the leather cushions of the booth, you let some warmth seep back into your body. Opposite you, Logan does the same.Â
Some moments after you finish your drink, one of the waitresses walks up to your booth to ask you about a refill, like sheâs asked Logan twice now. Youâre handing her the glass when Logan says, âSheâs had enough.â
Your head whips from her to him. âExcuse me?â
He doesnât say anything, and from the corner of your eye, you see the girl leave. With your glass. Loganâs is on his lips, his eyes observing you over the rim, looking at you like heâ Dammit. You sigh deeply, a sense of anger filling you. You donât need this, least of all from him. When you stand from the booth, those eyes follow you, making you voice your observations,
âQuit pitying me, Logan.â
âIâm not,â he says before taking another sip. âYou still have to drive.â
You quirk an eyebrow at him. âAnd you donât?â
Logan shrugs. âItâs different for me.â
Anger is still prevalent in your voice when you ask, âWell, let me guess, itâs another case of âI died like that a couple timesâ?âÂ
He hums.
âAnd how does that work?â
âRegenerative ability,â he sighs. Another sip before he elaborates, âX-Gene.âÂ
The admission makes you plop back down in your seat. Well, that explains things â heâs a mutant. Youâre not familiar with that world, but you know enough to know it meant that. It isnât like you couldnât have deduced it before, but truthfully, you kind of thought he was bullshiting you as part of some tactic. Now, his actions and words make more sense: He really knows what itâs like to... Thatâs why he had that look on his face. Suddenly, you see him in a different lightâ
âNow whoâs pitying who, hmm?â Logan asks, giving you a thin-lipped smile that doesn't reach his eyes as he sets his glass down on the table.
âIâm not, Iâm just⊠processing. So this...â you lift his glass, swirl the contents around, â...doesnât even affect you?â
âIt does. For a few seconds.â He plucks the glass back from your hand, and throws the whiskey back with one gulp. His pupils dilate, pushing the hazel of his irises out until his eyes are almost black for a second, two⊠before going back to normal. âBut if I chugged the bottle, Iâd pass out.â
âWell, so would I,â you say with a chuckle. âSo maybe weâre not that different after all.â
Just as the corner of his mouth lifts, your smile falls, because⊠it isnât true; youâre very different. Youâre pretty sure you donât have what it takes to do what he did tonight. To care enough to do it. To sit with a stranger and hear them bitch and moan about being denied a drink. A feeling creeps up on you, sticky and uncomfortable, like youâve overstayed your welcomeâburdened him.
âI should head home,â you say, standing again.
Lightning fast, Loganâs hand shoots out to close around your wrist. âThat really where youâre going?â
âYes,â you reply. When you pull your hand back, he doesnât let up. You fish your car key out of your pocket with your free hand, voice tighter when you say, âLet me go.â
âJust promise me something,â he says, eyes as dark as theyâd been earlier, yet his drink has gone untouched since. âDonât go back there again.â
âNot making promises I canât keep,â you say, giving him a wry smile. âTo strangers, but least of all to myself.â
He sighs, and lets you pull yourself from his hold.
THE CRAVING
New Years comes and goes, and you quickly discover that it was foolish superstition to think that it might change how you feel.
You find yourself in some club, a drink in each hand. You hate to admit it, but Loganâs words scared you out of your original idea and the only time you can bear to think of how to move on from it is when alcohol soothes the embarrassing grief of your shattered, macabre fantasy. Itâs not a good way to deal with things, but it works.
Thereâs a part of you that welcomes feeling anything at all, but that⊠something inside you is busy trying to squash it.Â
Itâs getting somewhere, because you have no idea how much youâve already had to drink, but youâre buzzing pleasantly. Adding to it, you knock both drinks back, slamming the glasses on the bar before spinning around and facing the crowd of dancing bodies. The music sucks, the dance floor is cramped, youâre tired⊠The truth is that youâre too old for this, but itâs easy to escape here, surrounded by strangers. You clumsily drag the back of your hand over your wet mouth, push your sweaty hair from your eyes, and join them.
The past couple weeks, you found yourself craving something. Contact. And here is where you can get your fill; a hand on your waist, lips on your ear, the music too loud and yourself too drunk to even comprehend whatâs being said, but never more. You want them to get close, but never too close.
After some time â could be an hour, could be 10 minutes â you make your way to the bathroom. Itâs quieter here, the dulled thump of the music making the time you spend there feel slow and syrupy.Â
When you exit the stall, you bump into someone.
Itâs a man. The dark hood over his head obscures his eyes, but you canât help but think heâs looking right at you when a bright, almost unnatural grin appears on his face. It draws you in like a magnet, more so when he says, âNeed something to take the edge off?âÂ
Curiously, you watch as he opens his palm, long fingers unfurling slowly until they reveal a small plastic bag in his hand.Â
âFirst timeâs on the house.â
You have no idea what it is exactly, but your eyes widen. This is new territory for you, and all the possibilities it opens up are suddenly invading your mind. As if on auto-pilot, you reach for the place where you keep your money, the sound of the door opening completely lost on you.
A hand closes around your bicep, pulling you aside with a quick yank of an arm.
âShe isnât interested, pal.âÂ
Itâs another man, who effortlessly tucks you half behind him. Before you can protest beyond an indignant huff, thereâs a sound, like a sword being unsheathed, and you catch a flash of red, and of knives. Frowning, you try to get a better look, but your view is obscured by the manâs shoulder. The hooded man seems undeterred, regarding the weapons with the same sickening grin, before leaving the bathroom, muttering something that you donât understand on the way out. The sword sound returns, the man twists around, andâ
âLogan?â you slur in disbelief.Â
Logan doesnât reply, instead takes hold of your arm again, making you follow him out of the bathroom. There he stops the two of you to murmur something to a woman wearing the same clothes as him, before tugging you along again. Youâre stumbling after him on account of his pace and the iron grip he has on you as he leads you to the back door. He pushes it open with enough force to make the hinges creak, a gust of wind blowing in your face. Itâs a contrast to go from the crowded, sweaty club to the silent, cold back-alley where tall brick walls and employee cars cage you in. You shake your arm and Loganâs grip loosens â another and he lets you go.
âHow did you even findââ You cut yourself off, eyes widening, âOh, my god, are you following me?â
Logan scoffs, narrowing his eyes. âOh, please, do you think I have time to follow you around all day?â
âYouâre here, arenât you? You and your fuckingâŠ,â you gesture wildly into the air at him, âsavior complex.â
âI work here,â he growls. When you give him a look, he adds, âItâs temporary. âSides, me and my savior complex are the reason that creep isnât selling god knows what to you in that bathroom right now!â His voice is a roar, echoing off the walls around you.
âMaybe I wanted that creep to sell god knows what to me in that bathroom,â you say, doing a poor impression of his voice, before turning and walking away from him.
Logan sighs. âWhere are you going?â
âIâm leaving.â
âAnd then what, huh?â
âI donât fucking know, Logan,â you say, twisting around to face him again, arms spread out by your side. âFigure out a new way out of this.â
âYeah? Third timeâs the charm?â
âWhy do you even care, huh? You donât even know me,â you say. Almost immediately, you let out a bitter laugh as your own words hit your ears, a sad realization dawning on you. âBut I guess that makes two of us.â
Itâs not like you expected him to, but he doesnât answer.
âYou know I used to like myself? I used to smile, I used to have friends, I used to be more sober than drunk. But this feeling, it takes⊠everything.â You raise a fist, hold it to the center of your chest. âIt takes everything I love, pushes away everyone I love, including myself. It eats me up, and wants more and more, until Iâm something Iâm not and until Iâm so far away from that version of myself, my old self, that it feels easier to just fuckingââ you pause with a wet gasp for air.
âDestroy yourself,â Logan finishes for you.
Your chest heaves, an unshed tear clings to your lash line. âExactly.â
He takes a step closer to you. âLet me take you home,â he says, voice gentle.Â
You should hate the implications of that gentleness, but you donât. In your drunk state of mind, itâs easier to admit itâs nice that someone understands, that someoneâs there to stop you from going too farâŠÂ
Tomorrow, when some of your pragmatism returns, youâll deny this embarrassing thought ever occurred; if relying on other people worked, it would have worked a long time ago, and you wouldnât be standing here with him. If youâre lucky, you might even forget this entirely, and wake up with a hangover that youâll enjoy a little too much because it feels like a punishmentâ
âWhat about your job?â you ask with a sniff.
Loganâs palm finds the space between your shoulder blades with a gentle push, the warmth of it seeping in through your clothes, and he leads you to his truck. âTheyâll manage without me.â
â â â â â
When you wake, your world is tilted sideways, a blanket is pulled up to your chin and there's a pillow under your head. Theyâre not your own; the blanket is itchy and the pillowâs too small. When you try to move your legs, they stick uncomfortably to the material below them, and you realize youâre on a leather couch. You squint at the light that comes in from a window across from youâ
âMorninâ, sunshine.â
The voice startles you, eyes shifting to focus on the source: A man lying on his front on the floor, chin in his hands as he kicks his feet back and forth in the air.Â
âWish I could say itâs a pleasure, but it hasnât been very pleasurable. Youâve been barfing up the place since the moment you stepped inside. Kept poor Al up all night. Her ears are sensitive,â he adds with a whisper. âBut donât worry, she left about an hour ago.â
âWho are you?â you slur, blinking against the light.
âLogan.â He sighs when you frown. âI know, not how you remember. This is what I look like during the day; blessed with incredible good looks at night and, well,â he gestures at his face thatâs covered in scars, "this, during the day. Bit of a reverse Princess Fiona situationââ
âCut it out, Wade,â comes the sharp protest from next to you. With considerable effort, you turn your head and see the actual Logan, slumped back in a recliner next to the couch, rubbing some sleep out of his eyes while motioning for the other man to go.
âIâll let you two talk.â Wade winks.
Logan stands when Wade does, walking from your field of view. Your head is scrambling to catch up, trying to piece together what happened last night, but only coming up with bits and pieces.
âHow are you feeling?â Logan asks as he makes his way back to you, handing you a glass of water.
You flinch when the front door closes behind Wade with a bang, before taking the glass from Logan and taking a few thankful sips. âLike shit.â
âYeah,â is all he says as he sits back down.
âWhatââ
âYou fell asleep in the car. Didnât know where to take you, figured the couch was the safest place.â
âOhâŠ,â you say, voice small.Â
You try not to think about being so wasted that you had to be carried out of Loganâs car, or about what Wade said earlier about the things that happened as soon as you stepped inside the apartment. During your silence, Loganâs fingers fiddle with the armrest, before his hand balls into a fist, and it unlocks something in your hazy memory.
âI have the weirdest memory of you having⊠a sword?â
You watch as Loganâs lips purse in amusement. His tongue rolls around in his mouth, seemingly contemplating something, before saying, âYou probably saw these.â He holds up his fist, flexing his forearm before three blades shoot from between his knuckles like claws, accompanied by a shing!
âJesus fucking Christ,â you startle, spilling some water on your blanket. Your head spins with your hangover and the bizarity of the situation. If it didnât sound so much like how it did in your memory, you might think you were still drunk.Â
Thereâs so many things you want to ask, your intrigue almost winning out over your hangover until the sharp start of a headache gives you pause. Instead, you take another sip of water before rubbing your temple.
âItâs a story for another time,â Logan says, like he can read your mind, and you want to ask him that, too. His claws retreat, the cuts they leave between his knuckles immediately smoothing over until theyâre gone. âI gotta go check if I still have a job.â
The words make you feel warm all over, the memory of your back-alley conversation coming back in full force. The thought of the things you admitted to him and that you put him in the position that he had to risk his job for you make you feel even warmer, your gaze no doubt laced with embarrassment and worry when you look at him.
ââS not your fault,â Logan assures, standing and fishing his car key from the pocket of his jeans. âYou donât have to rush but um, make sure you close the door behind you on the way out. Gets jammed sometimes.â
âYeah, okay,â you say, watching as he makes his way to the front door.Â
He takes a final glance at you over his shoulder, then leaves, accompanied by a bang.
THE PUZZLE
It takes you a little over a week to muster up the courage to go back. Admittedly, your courage is aided by another, foreign feeling. You donât have a name for it yet, or maybe youâre afraid to call it what it is, but somewhere along the week, you became consumed with the thought that feeling like you did wasnât all there was. That there is something beyond this.Â
Perhaps foreign wasnât the right way to describe it, because it is something youâve felt before â itâs just been long dormant. The last time, it lasted about a month before it all came crashing down, and you swore you wouldnât fall for it again, but you canât help it. The feelingâs too sweet, and the idea that thereâs still some baser instinct willing you to keep fighting for yourself makes you feel like the sun is shining on you.Â
So yeah, maybe youâre just having one of your good weeks, where the thing sleeps â quiet while its presence still simmers. But you figured nowâs your chance to take advantage of its unguarded moment.
Sneaking into the building is surprisingly easy. It helps that it isnât anything fancy. You wanted to forego the humiliation of ringing the bell and him not letting you in, but standing in front of the door now, panting after climbing three flights of stairs, you donât know if this is much better.Â
Just when youâre about to knock, the door swings open. In the opening, Logan has one arm in his jacket, head twisted to watch the other thatâs caught halfway in the sleeve. It takes him almost bumping into you to realize your presence. âShit, sorry.â He steadies himself with a hand on your arm, the touch leaving you as fast as it appeared.
âHi,â you breathe, taking a step back to give him a little more space.
He nods in greeting. âBrings you here?â
It takes you a moment, caught off guard by him skipping over pleasantries and cutting right to the chase, despite your best intentions; itâs not that heâs ever been any different in his interactions with you.
âI came by because I, um, owe you an apology, for my behavior at your workplace and for, you knowâŠ,â you trail off, gesturing at the door.
âBarfing up the place!â comes a shout from inside the apartment.Â
Loganâs eyes close with a sigh, before he steps into the hallway with you and closes the door with a bang.Â
âThat,â you finish sheepishly. âIâm really sorry.â
He nods in acknowledgement.
âI also wanted to ask, um, if you want to come with me to get a coffee. To make it up to you.â
Logan just looks at you, the leather of his jacket creaking as he crosses his thick arms in front of his chest. He raises an eyebrow at you expectantly. You hate how he somehow can see right through you, how he makes you elaborate, and honest.
âI want to quit drinking,â you say, fiddling with the sleeve of your coat. âIt doesnât make me better, and when I donât do it I finally feel a little⊠normal. Maybe coffeeâs technically just as bad, but itâs the only thing thatâs currently acting like⊠like a reverse gateway drink? And I feel like youâre the only person I know that might get that feeling ofââ
âI do,â Logan cuts in, voice softer than before â assuring. His arms drop from where theyâre crossed and he starts making his way to the stairs. âLetâs go.â
â â â â â
You donât know this coffee place, and from the way he looks around and shifts around in a chair that might be a bit too small for him, neither does Logan. Main reason you picked it is because the booths remind you a little too much of a bar â and you like the tall windows. The coffeeâs pretty decent.
âDid they fire you?â you ask, picking at a loose corner of one of the laminated menus before setting it back in its holder.
âBoss commended me for helping a customer, but not so much for leaving before my shift ended,â Logan replies. âGot off with a warning.â
âIâm sorry.â
âSaid that already, and I accepted,â he says. When he takes a sip of the coffee, he winces. âNo need to worry about it anymore, okay? I would do it again.â
You nod, folding your hands around the warm cup in front of you.
âBut, um, Wade hasnât shut up about⊠the incident.â Thereâs a different tone to his voice, like heâs trying to lighten the mood. âHis words.â
âYou know, I kind of get the feeling that Wade doesnât shut up about a lot of things.â It comes out a little meaner than you intend, but it makes Logan laugh and finally slump back in his chair a little.Â
âYouâre a quick study.â
Offering him a short smile in return, you continue with the other real reason you came to see him, before you chicken out. âI also stopped by because I wanted to, uh⊠because I realized I never really⊠I never⊠I never thanked you, for um⊠Andââ
With a shake of his head, Logan sits upright. âYâdonâtââ
To your horror, your eyes brim with tears, âLogan, Iâm supposed to be deadââ
âSo am I,â he counters. He lets the words hang between the two of you for a moment, until you look at him, before he continues, âIâve been where you are. Past it, even.â
You donât know what to say to that, if the lump in your throat will even permit you to speak, but itâs impossible to look away from him. Loganâs gaze is piercing, frown ever present, but itâs not from anger. Instead, itâs like heâs searching for something, the right thing, to say. The silence doesnât bother you; if anything, it makes his words seem more genuine when he does speak,
âI had someone who was annoying enough to not give up on me when I could really use it. If getting a coffee with you thatâs, franklyâŠ,â he makes a face as he pauses, âa horrible excuse for a coffee, helps⊠I can do that. I want to do that.â
The corner of your mouth lifts as you blink away your tears. âWas it Wade?â
Logan lets out a chuckle, and itâs honest â fond. âYeah.â
âFigured,â you say. âHow did you meet him?â
Across from you, Logan stills. You swallow thickly, adjusting yourself in your chair. Itâs an innocent question, but maybe it isnât something heâd like to revisit right now. Loganâs mug squeaks when he grips it tighter, and he looks at you with something like defeatâÂ
It makes you deflate. This must be what you looked like the night you metâŠ
Thereâs no way to have prepared for what he tells you next: That he came from another timeline about three months ago, that he and Wade saved this one from being destroyed and almost got killed in the process, that he has nothing to go back to after the death of his team, so he stayed here.Â
Thereâs hesitation in it, like he isnât telling you the whole story, though you donât comment on it. He doesnât owe you anything and youâre too busy putting all the pieces in the Logan-shaped puzzle in your mind together; his words and actions towards you are starting to make more and more sense.
âItâs a very brave thing the two of you did,â you say when heâs finished.
âHmm, it was all Wade,â Logan muses. âHe did it all for the people he cares about.â
âIâm sure you would have done the same if you were in his place.â
At that, he lets out a dry laugh with absolutely no joy behind it. âDo me a favor, donât put me on a pedestal.â
You frown, but before you can comment, he stands. A knot forms in your stomach, worried youâve offended him, but he clears up the uncertainty immediately.
âI gotta go but um, Wadeâs friendsâ,â he stops himself, correcting, âour friends are coming over to watch a movie, next week, 7:30. I have no idea what crap theyâre going to be watching but⊠itâs nice. Itâll be nice to be around good people.â Logan doesnât wait for your answer, simply takes his wallet from his pocket and leaves enough money to cover the bill.
âWait, no, I invited you,â you protest. âI shouldââ
âYou can pay next time.âÂ
When you nod, he says his goodbyes with a jerk of his head and makes his way to the door.
â â â â â
You see Logan two more times for coffee that week. He never lets you pay.
THE PANTRY
ââbut itâs the best one!â Wade protests, DVD in hand.
âThey fly a car into space, Wade,â Laura sighs.
âLaunched off a jet,â he corrects. Like it helps.
You cover your mouth with the back of your hand, hiding the smile that appears at everyoneâs babbling. Unbeknownst to you, you had found yourself invited to a double feature night, with Wade as the self proclaimed DVDJ. The credits had barely started rolling on A Good Day To Die Hard, or Wade had another DVD at the ready. It was met with the same amount of enthusiasm as when he presented the first.
It hadnât been easy to make yourself go to this tonight. On your way, youâd thought of turning around at almost every step. Of course, that was all before you knew it would be this fun, and that youâd be relieved you hadnât canceled last minute. Even meeting everyone hadnât been as bad as you feared.Â
Thereâs Peter, Wadeâs friend. Ellie, another one of Wadeâs friends. Yukio, Ellieâs girlfriend. Laura, Loganâs daughter. Mary Puppins, Wadeâs small, disgusting but adorable dog, who had greeted you with equal amounts saliva and enthusiasm, before falling asleep next to the TV, completely unbothered by the commotion. Unlike Althea, Logan and Wadeâs blind roommate, who had taken one listen to the gaggle of voices and left. The elusive Vanessa, Wadeâs ex-but-we-might-get-back-together you heard about a couple times, wasnât there.
Logan had been right, it was nice to be surrounded by good people. Especially good people who were⊠unconventional. It made joining them less complicated, less performative, and as the evening progressed it made you a participant instead of a silent observer. Wade even called you, âgood for the group dynamic,â and it made you beam with pride.
âDonât they have like, rockets attached to the car?â Ellie questions, to which Yukioâs eyebrows knit together.
âExactly!â Wade exclaims, mistaking her confusion for enthusiasm. âCitizen Kane wishes.â
Thereâs more grumbling from everyone when Wade pops the DVD into the player, and he grumbles something back about how Logan would back him up if he wasnât in the bathroom because he, quote unquote, goes way back with some of these dudes.
Youâre pretty sure heâs the only one who knows what heâs even talking about.
An empty bowl of popcorn rests in your lap, and as you put it on the table, you notice how sticky and greasy your fingers and palms are. When the opening credits begin to roll, you get up to wash your hands, assuring Wade he doesnât need to pause the movie before you go.
The apartmentâs small, so it isnât far to the kitchen, but itâs nice to stretch your legs. You can still hear the sounds from movie night; tell-tale action movie music, comments of disbelief and Wade shutting them down. Theyâre more faint, though, more so when you turn the tap on and wash your hands.
Right as youâre finished, you hear a dull thud. You turn the water off, head tilted and at attention while you dry your hands. Thereâs another sound, like a muffled groan. Itâs coming from the pantry, you realize, noting that the door is slightly ajar. Thereâs a shing! sound followed by a distressed grunt, and before you know it youâre walking over, wrapping your fingers around the door to pull it openâ
Youâre not sure what it was you were expecting, but it wasnât this. Loganâs sitting on the floor, uncharacteristically small, curled up against one of the walls. His chest is heaving, shoulders all but going up to his ears with how heâs trying to draw in breaths. Next to him, his fist is balled against the hardwood, claws buried in the floor.
Fuck.
Dropping to your knees, you wedge yourself between his. âItâs okay, youâre having a panic attack,â you explain, your hands landing on his shoulders with a light shake. âYou need to breathe. Iâll help you, just look at me.â
Loganâs head stays tipped down, a deep, rattling breath sailing from his mouth as he curls further in on himself.
âHey!â you say sharply, cupping his jaw with two hands and tilting his face up, âLook at me.âÂ
Loganâs eyes are wet when they meet yours, moving frantically as they search your face, tears spilling over when he blinks. Something changes in his gaze, like he finally sees itâs you, and his bottom lip begins to tremble. His hand lifts from where itâs buried in the floor, clutching onto your wrist like a lifeline.
âBreathe,â you instruct, trying not to flinch at the sharp claws in front of you. He doesnât catch on immediately, so you overdo the purse of your lips when you blow out a breath before exaggerating an inhale through your nose, showing him what to do. It starts off shaky, a fresh set of tears falling from Loganâs eyes as he does as you instruct, but after a couple of times you find a rhythm together. The silver between his knuckles slowly disappears. âThere you go, good job. Keep going.â
You sit like that, until the wild shift of his eyes stops, his pulse steadies beneath your fingertips, and eventually his eyes close with a deep exhale. His grip on you loosens and you take it as your cue to let go of him, slumping back against the wall opposite him with a sigh of relief. The both of you catch your breath, sitting together in silence until Logan breaks it.
âCame outta nowhere⊠suddenly I was back there⊠letting them down.â
âIt caught you off guard, it happensââ
âI let them get killed,â he says, voice raw. âThey were likeâ They were my family, they trusted me to be there for them and I⊠I was too caught up in my own bullshit. I should have been with them, I should be dead with them.â
Loganâs tears still come, but the words almost sound reverent; as if saying them out loud just to punish himself with his own shortcomings is a balm. Heâs talking about his team from there, you realize, and something clicks. All this time, you thought this was about him being unable to die due to his mutation, but itâs more than that. Itâs shame, remorse, grief, survivorâs guilt, all wrapped into one.
Itâs the final piece of your mind puzzle that makes his picture appear.
âHowâ How can I ever atone for that?â he asks. âHow can I everââ
âLogan, you can't change your past,â you interrupt carefully. âYou made your choices and they made theirs, and you honored them byâ byâŠstepping up to the task, by doing what you did with Wade.â
âWhat if it wasnât enough?â
âWhat if it was?â you counter. Your hand finds his knee with a squeeze, before adding, âYou did what they would have done. And now you⊠you need to allow yourself to honor their memory without feeling like you have to destroy yourself to do it. You deserve that.â
Logan blinks at you, eyes still glossy. He looks devastated yet calmer than before, like the emotion is still there, but displaced. For a good while, you sit with him like that while his sniffles lessen and his breathing returns to normal⊠until thereâs a loud explosion coming from the living room. Itâs followed by cheers and hollers, and youâre both suddenly reminded of where you are.Â
âCâmon,â you say, patting Loganâs knee before using it as leverage to haul yourself up with a groan. You give him room by holding the door open for him. âBetter get back before we miss the good stuff.â
Still on the floor, Logan exhales heavily. âThink this was the good stuff.â
â â â â â
Three weeks later, on your way to your third movie night, you catch Wade and Vanessa making out in the building hallway.Â
It stops you dead in your tracks and makes for an awkward meeting with Wadeâs mystery woman, who is beautiful but very direct when she asks you what the fuck youâre staring at. Wade certainly has a type when it comes to the company he keeps⊠He quickly shushes the situation, introducing the two of you, and it immediately makes Vanessaâs expression twist into recognition.Â
âNice to meet you,â she says, followed by an apologetic smile.Â
You respond in kind.Â
When Wade tugs at her jacket impatiently, they brush past you and make their way to the exit. âSee you around!â she throws over her shoulder.
A grin forms on your lips, realizing what you just witnessed, and you race up the stairs. With Wade gone, youâre not sure if there will be a movie, but at least you have gossip to share with your friends.
THE MEETING
April flies by, rolls into May, and thingâs are⊠okay.
With some help, you find a therapist. Itâs good, sheâs good, but itâs difficult to be confronted with things that are painful, week after week, and to keep reminding yourself itâs all part of the process youâre going through.
Last week, after a particularly difficult session, youâd left her office being auto-piloted by dark feelings, like they knew exactly when to strike. You had turned corners and crossed streets, wandering as you stewed on everything youâd discussed â like your mind was playing a constant loop of your most painful moments. It was a small miracle you had heard your phone, and that you had the presence of mind to thumb the green button.
Youâd answered without saying a word.
âGot any plans?â Logan had asked on the other side of the line.
âNo,â youâd replied, coming back to yourself a little bit at the sound of his voice.
âAlâs making her meatballs â she and Wade canât agree on if theyâre famous or infamous. Thought you might like to come. If it tastes like shit, weâll order in.â
Youâd hummed, managing to ask, âWhat time?â
It had stayed quiet on the other end, and thatâs how youâd known he was onto you, could picture the pinch of his brows, his lips forming a thin line. For the first time, you welcomed itâwanted so badly to reach through the phone, shake his shoulders, ask for his help and accept it, like he had done with you weeks ago.Â
âSounds to me like now might be good.â
âYeah,â you had agreed, the constricting tightness in your chest easing up. âYeah, Iâll be there soon.â Youâd released a shuddering breath, ear still pressed to the phone as you took in your surroundings before you auto-piloted yourself to a different destination.Â
âLogan?â
âStill here.â
âThank you for calling.â
ââcourse. Get here soon, Iâll stay on the phone.â
The afternoon had ended with Logan and yourself allowing Althea to boss you around in the small apartmentâs kitchen, rolling meatballs, sharing stories â Altheaâs recollection of something that happened to her in her 20s that involved her stealing a police horse while wearing nothing but a thong, made you cry from laughing.
The meatballs were the best you ever had, though you couldnât be sure if they actually were, or if it was just the taste of the moment that was better than anything had been that day.Â
Sometime after dinner, Logan had nudged your shoulder to show you a little plastic chip. He flashed it at you long enough that you could read the words one month, before he pocketed it again. Then he suggested you come with him next week.Â
âI thought it was bullshit too, but it helps,â heâd explained. âFigured I couldnât continue to drink whatever that stuff is you call coffee to⊠avoid my problems.â
You contemplated his suggestion. Things were going well for you in that regard, but your therapist had also recommended you go to one of these things, even if it was just for the community aspect of it. It just made it so⊠official. Your problems, but most of all, your recovery. You werenât good at keeping promises to yourself, and this felt like a big commitment. Not to mention the speeches and other peopleâs problems...
But as Logan told you more about it, the location, how it had been for him, you sensed something else between the lines: He wasnât just asking for you, he was also asking for himself. Maybe⊠this was his way of telling you he needed some support.Â
Thatâs how you find yourself inside a high school gymnasium a week later. Itâs as gloomy as you expected. Slick floors, gray fold-out chairs set in neat rows, buzzing lights in a high ceiling, and a slightly raised podium with a whiteboard that reads a welcome message in capital letters.Â
Unsure of what to do, you follow Logan as he weaves through the crowd to find a seat. As you do, it strikes you that thereâs a pretty even distribution of people, with many genders, ages and lifestyles represented. Eventually you take a seat; not quite in the back, but definitely not in the front.Â
The whole thing goes by in a blur, but where you expected to be overwhelmed, you feel⊠connected. Here you are, surrounded by people with different backgrounds, different lives, but all their stories have something you can relate to. Where you thought addiction was the common denominator, itâs actually the desire to turn your lives around that unites you the most.
âBefore we end the night I want to circle back to last week, when we spoke about goals, or things we want to work towards,â says the woman leading the meeting â youâre ashamed to admit you already forgot her name. âDoes anyone want to share something about that?â
It takes a lot to hide your surprise when Logan raises his hand.Â
âLogan! Come on up!â She sounds as surprised as you feel, beckoning him to her.
The plastic chair he sits on creaks when he stands and his boots squeak against the shiny floor as he does as she asks. He looks so out of place on a podium; both larger than life behind the lectern and lost to the space of the stage. He clears his throat as he retrieves a paper from his pocket and unfolds it while his eyes scan the room until they land on yours. You give him a little nod of encouragement, and it kicks him into gear.
âNot good at this stuff, so Iâm going to keep it brief,â he starts.Â
It earns him a chuckle or two from the other attendees, and you can tell he doesnât expect it when he looks up from his paper. Your hands clasp together with nerves as you watch him divide his weight from one leg to another, before focussing his gaze back down.
âMy life has changed a lot over the past few months. For the first time in a long time, itâs not all bad. Coming here has been good. Iâm starting to feel more like I did beforeââÂ
He stops his monotonous droning with a frustrated sigh, stuffing the piece of paper in his pocket and sounding considerably more lively after.Â
âI have people I care about again, and um, it scares me. âCause I donât want to let them down, and every day I feel like I will because of all of my⊠past shit.â He pauses and swallows hard before he continues, âThey show me so much kindness and understanding, that⊠that even though itâs fucking hard, I want to be able to see myself the way they see me. And allow them to care about me without feeling like I⊠have to earn it all the time, without destroying myself to do it.âÂ
You exhale for what feels like the first time in an eternity.
âSo, thatâs what Iâm currently working on.â Logan sighs. âThatâs it. Thank you.â
A small applause follows, and you quickly unclasp your hands to join in.
Your palms hurt after.
â â â â â
âIt was really nice, what you said in there,â you say, fingers caressing a little plastic chip of your own that you keep safe in your coat pocket. You havenât felt proud of yourself in a while, but tonight you do.
The evening is nice, the setting sun bathing the city in hues of orange and pink. Your pace is slow and comfortable, your arm occasionally brushing Loganâs when you make room for all the other pedestrians. You didnât plan on him walking you home, but he insisted and you enjoy the company â it makes you a little sad when you turn onto your street.
Logan scoffs in reply.Â
âIâm being serious,â you say, knocking your elbow against his arm on purpose now. âIt was nice for people to hear a guy like you say those things. Iâm proud of you.â
You swear he blushes. âA guy like me, huh?â he asks, almost amused.
Itâs your turn to scoff. âYou know what I mean.âÂ
âA mutant?â He looks at you from the corner of his eye.
âNo,â you say, because itâs not what you meant, but the hint of seriousness in his voice and the fact heâs not entirely wrong make you track back. âWell, maybe that, too, but I meant someone who looks like you, allowing themselves to be vulnerable. Sets a nice example.â
Logan doesnât shoot your comments down like you expect. Instead, he seems to consider your words, maybe he even silently accepts the compliment. âThink you have some things to say that could set a nice example, too.â
âMaybe next time.â
During the comfortable silence that follows, youâre reminded of something youâve been considering for weeks now. You hadnât paid much attention to it since that night, but as you worked through the feelings that got you to that point, the question kept coming back.
âIâve been wondering something,â you begin. âThe night we met... What were you doing at the lookout?â
Logan glances at you, contemplating the question. âWhen I had just, um, gotten here, it wasnât always easy to adjust, you know? So I went to all these places that I knew from back there, to ground myself, to see that things may be different, but that theyâre not that different.â
âYou went there on your side?â
He hums.
âBy yourself?â
He hums again.
âDid youâŠâ You hesitate to finish your sentence, both because youâre not sure if you have any right to ask and because youâve reached your building. You stop walking, and Logan follows your lead.Â
âNo, no, no, I⊠I canât explain it, itâs just one of those places I was always drawn to,â Logan says, shoving his hands in the pockets of his jeans with a shrug. His brows furrow suddenly, his mind seemingly lost in something before his eyes flick back to yours. âThink it took me coming over here to find reason in it.â
Itâs a thought thatâs equal parts sad and lovely.Â
The silence that follows hangs between you, thick with something you canât place, but Logan doesnât look away from you, eyes scanning your face before they land back on yours. You canât help thinking that maybe this is how he does it, and the question comes out before you can help it,
âIs mind reading part of the X-Gene thing?â
His eyes widen â amusement or surprise, you canât say. âIt can be.âÂ
âCan you do it?â
âNo,â he says. âAnd itâs for the best, fucking hurts when you canât control it.â Then the start of a smile begins to form on his lips. ââsides, I donât know if I would have a lot of⊠consideration for peopleâs boundaries.â
It makes you chuckle. âRight. Not to mention some minds are probably a lot â imagine reading Wadeâs mind.â
âHurts to even imagine,â Logan says, gesturing for you to be quiet as he winces, but a smile breaks through anyway. When your shared laughter dies down, he jerks his chin at the building behind you, âThis your place?â
âWhaâ?â Going home long forgotten in the moment, you glance over your shoulder. âOh! Yes.â
âAll right,â he nods. âSee you next week?â
âDefinitely,â you reply.
âOh,â Logan says right before you turn around. âBring coffee? You owe me.â
You make a face at him. âYou donât have toâ Iâll get you something else, I know you donât like it.â
âI like it when I drink it with you.â
Itâs incredibly hard to hide your grin. âOkay, Iâll bring coffee. See you next week, Logan.â
âSee you.âÂ
He lingers, watching you climb the steps, waiting until the door opens after you turn your key in the lock. Itâs not until you close the door, when you can only make out his silhouette through the patterned glass window in it, that he walks off.
THE SUMMER
Walking back from a very successful job interview, you find yourself on your way to your friends with a big, plastic bottle of coke under your arm. Itâs a warm feeling to know that youâll soon have a job that suits you and that you have people to celebrate with; you look forward to seeing them and sharing this with them.
Youâre invited inside with open arms, tight hugs, exclaimed praise and congratulations, and it makes you giddy, a feeling so foreign that you wish you could bottle it up right this instant. With a grin, you shake the Coca Cola bottle, before twisting the cap off. You let out an excited shout as you watch the foam shoot out from the top, bubbles and dark liquid pulsing down the neck of the bottle as cheers surround you.
Itâs not champagne, but Althea grumbles about the soda ruining her floors, Wade gets mismatched glasses from the cupboard, and Logan clinks his glass to yours and tells you heâs proud of you.
Itâs way better than champagne.
â â â â â
Youâre in serious, desperate need of a new placeâŠÂ
The August heat is relentless, and the entire buildingâs AC isnât working. Itâs with considerable effort that you manage to make your way to your friendsâ place, the promise of a constant, cold stream of wind the only thing that keeps you going. But when the front door opens, it isnât with the welcoming, cool waft of air you were hoping for. Instead, thereâs no temperature change, only Wade in his underwear.
âNo.â Itâs a little embarrassing how you literally pout, but these are desperate times. âHere, too?â
âIf it wasnât this fucking hot Iâd be offended by that greeting.â He sighs. âCome in.â
Slightly defeated, you shuffle past the threshold, while Wade lingers. Mary Puppins trots by, an ice-pack wrapped in a towel secured on her back, and you catch a glimpse of Logan exiting the bedroom. Heâs in black shorts and a ribbed, sleeveless shirt, and with a desperate groan, he lets himself fall back into the recliner in the living room.Â
âTried everything, thereâs no fixing that fucking thing.â
Wade makes a face, âListen, I know what youâre thinking: Wadeâs in his underwear, Loganâs emerging from the bedroom⊠But we didnât fuck, itâs not that kind of stââ
âWho are you talking to?â you ask from behind him, glancing over his shoulder into the empty hallway.
âNo oneâYou!â The door closes with a bang.
Confused, you walk further into the apartment. âWell, telling me you didnât is just going to make me think that you did.â Wade darts past you and takes a seat on the couch, but you hang back and lean against the kitchen table to avoid sitting on leather.
Wade suddenly turns to face you. âDid I ever tell you about our time in The Void?â
âWade,â Logan warns.
Wadeâs eyes are sparkling with mischief and you canât deny how fun it is to indulge the way he pushes Loganâs buttons. Itâs a good distraction from how youâre drenched in sweat. And youâre actually curious.
You play your part, letting out a faux-scandalised gasp. âDid you..?â
âOh, yeah, baby. Wolverine goes both ways. All the ways, really.â He grins. âWeâre so alike.â
âShut up. Both of you.â Logan groans, lacking any real threat as he adjusts in his seat and wipes some sweat off his brow. âItâs too fucking hot to be annoyed.â
It isnât lost on you he doesnât deny a thing.
â â â â â
Apartments look weird with nothing in them.
Itâs what crossed your mind after you finished packing up your place three days ago, and it crosses your mind now as you look into the open space of your new one from the doorway. Itâs a pleasant, late summer day; perfect weather to move, which was on your schedule for today.
âIncoming!â comes from behind you, followed by quick, heavy steps.
You jump aside as Ellie sails through the door, carefully setting a big box marked âKitchenâ down in its designated area, followed by Logan who is balancing three boxes at once. After a beat, Yukio follows, holding a single table lamp in her hand. It takes some effort not to laugh, not just because of how funny it looks, but also because you relate; after all the exhausting late nights you pulled packing up, thatâs also the kind of energy youâre bringing to this.
Itâs nice of them to help, and instead of shoving that feeling away in fear, you allow yourself to bask in it. You donât get long, however, because more help has just arrived.
Wade. With Vanessa. Hands interlocked.
It draws everyoneâs eyes to the doorway. Wade looks almost bashful, and it baffles you how someone who can say the most insane things unprompted, all without batting an eye, could blush while holding hands with a girl he likes. To his credit, he shakes it off quickly.
âAll right, all right,â he says. âStop ogling me and my girlfriend and get back to work everyone!â
â â â â â
âSo it was like an experiment?â you ask, stirring the pot on your stove before taking a careful bite of food off your wooden spoon.
Tonightâs your first night hosting at your new place â Family Dinner, Wade had dubbed it. With fall setting in, you had an idea of what to make, but it still made you nervous to have everyone in your space. Logan saw right through you, offering to come over early to help you prepare.Â
Once he had arrived, it hadnât taken long for him to admit he wasnât much of a cook, so he mainly chopped vegetables as you chatted; you about your new place, Logan about his new job as a boxing instructor, Laura going off to college. You donât remember exactly how the subject of his adamantium came up, but he was telling you freely about it.
âThey needed someone who could regenerate fast enough to bond with it,â he explains. âI was in a dark place. Figured I didnât have anything to lose if it didnât work.â
You nod in understanding. âDo you⊠remember much about it?â You put your spoon down, then put the lid back on the pan.Â
Loganâs knife stops hitting the cutting board. âYeah, I⊠I remember every second of it.â
You look at him then. His eyes are still cast down at his task. Unsure of what to say, you think about what youâd want to hear, and you find it might be best to say nothing at all. Instead, your hand finds his shoulder. Loganâs head turns to you, and you feel like the look you share is more important than anything you couldâve told him. His hand covers yours with an appreciative squeeze.Â
âBut Iâm trying to leave that there so I can focus on remembering what happens to me here.â As soon as heâs said it, his hand quickly slips off yours, adding, in a rush, âHere in this timeline, I mean.âÂ
You smile at him, but a strange feeling settles in the pit of your stomach. âThat sounds like a great idea.â
â â â â â
âI need your help with something,â you say, balancing your phone between your ear and your shoulder while you turn a birthday card over in your hand. Deciding you donât like it, you throw it back on the pile of cards and continue your grocery shopping.
âJust say the word,â comes Loganâs reply from the other end.
âI need you to steal something out of the apartment for me.â Thereâs a silence, and you purposely let the feeling of trepidation linger.
âAm gonna need you to say a little more than just that.â
You laugh, âWadeâs been talking about getting a little frame for his polaroid. You know, the polaroid that you held on to for him in The Void, after the two of you fuââ
âYes, I know the one,â he interjects with a huff. He pauses, sighs, then says, âConsider it done.â
THE PARTY
âThere you are!â Wade shouts after he opens the door. He pulls you into a hug that you return with a wide smile. Over his shoulder, you see that the apartmentâs crowded, bustling with people who are there for his birthday party.
âI got you something,â you say, offering the small package to him after you step inside and hang up your coat.
âWouldnât have let you in if you hadnât,â he admits as he closes the door behind you with a bang. Wade takes the package from your hand, shaking it next to his ear but hearing it make no sound in response. âIs it a cock ring?â
You canât help but laugh at that. âUnfortunately, they were all sold out.â
âThey always are,â he says, making a disappointed face. Bottom lip tucked between your teeth, you watch as he tears at the wrapping paper to reveal his gift. He makes another face when he sees it. âWell, now I feel like an asshole. This is really nice.â
âLogan helped me kidnap it,â you explain, pointing at the picture. âAnd the little red hearts on the frame, well, theyâre your color, but they also reminded me of how much you care about people.â
When he looks at you after, itâs with genuine emotion⊠but Wade is Wade. âNever thought Iâd say this, but Iâm kind of happy you walked in here barfing up the place.â
A strange mix of embarrassment and gratitude claws its way up your neck. âThank you.â
âWe should take a new one,â he decides suddenly, pointing at the picture. âYou both should be in it.â His head turns, watching as Logan approaches the two of you. âBut letâs be realistic, his shoulders are so broad he wouldnât even fit in the frame, much less his bulââ
âStop talking about my dick, Wade,â Logan snaps.
âI was saying only good things! Jeez, so sensitiveâŠâ Wade turns, putting the picture on the kitchen table behind him where it joins all the other gifts.
âDid he like it?â Logan asks, voice low.
âYeah,â you smile.
âGood,â he replies. âWas a nice idea.â
You eye all the other gifts, some clearer who they are from than others. âWhat did you get him?â
The corner of Loganâs mouth lifts as he points at a roll of silver duct tape with a small red bow on top, making you fix them both with a confused look.
âItâs an inside joke,â Logan shrugs.
Wadeâs eyes sparkle, but in a rare turn of events, he doesnât elaborate, only adds, âItâs classified. I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.âÂ
âAnd I have top level clearance, lieutenant,â you reply. You exhale through your nose in an amused laugh when Wade makes a surprised face that indicates youâve gotten the reference. âWhat, you thought a Tom Cruise impression could save you?â
âNo,â he grins, and as if on cue, the doorbell rings, âbut that can. Birthday Boy duty calls, but I want it on record that I could do Top Gun, easily, while Tom would never be able to pull off Deadpool.â
â â â â â
The party settles into something comfortable, soft music in the background of lively chatter. Yukio has just finished telling you about a Professor Layton cosplay sheâs doing when you excuse yourself, both your glass and your social battery empty enough to look for a momentary out. Finding your way through the crowd, you make it to the kitchen, filling your glass with water and taking a few sips.Â
While you do, the music suddenly gets louder, taking over for the steady chatter. You turn around, leaning back against the kitchen counter, and watch as Wade drags Vanessa to the middle of the apartment. People make room for them, exchanging looks while Wade wraps his arm around her waist, takes her hand in his and begins dancing with her. With a laugh, she slaps him on the chest, before settling into his embrace anyway. Some follow their lead, but your eyes stay glued to them. Wade spins Vanessa under his arm, the smile on her face bright enough to light up the entire room. In return, he looks at her with so much adoration heâs almost glowing himself. It fills you with warmth to see the both of them so happy.
It hits you how you havenât thought about this in a while. Youâd decided long ago that the future wasnât something you had to worry about, but suddenly youâve arrived, like youâre in some alternate reality where your future is now, and that it would be nice to share it with someone. The sting behind your eyes catches you a little off guard; mixed feelings of time that has been taken from you, but also of time youâre getting back with the life you now have.
For a while now, youâve suspected the thing inside you is gone, that there isnât much to feed off of anymore. If it is, it would make sense that thereâs room for something else.
Wade and Vanessa make it look easy, even though you know itâs been far from easy for them. You suppose thatâs what itâs like, especially as you get older. Itâs less about big gestures, more about small ones; someone to make you laugh, to spin you under their arm, who knows how to apologize, seeks you out during your quiet momentsâ
âDo you dance?â
You startle, head turning towards the voice next to youâÂ
âLogan,â you breathe.Â
Itâs like youâre seeing him for the very first time. Heâs standing so close, almost touching you but not quite, heat radiating off of him nonetheless. The plaid shirt heâs wearing isnât even buttoned and still the fabric is pulled taunt over his shoulders and the thick of his biceps. Heâs grinning, his nose pulled up in an adorable scrunch, the corner of his eyes crinkling - you never noticed before, but thereâs a hint of green between the hazel.
It hits you so suddenly that you have to grab the counter to keep your balance. Everything thatâs been happening, that youâve been feeling, all the times something happened between the two of you that you couldnât put your finger on⊠it falls into place with a well-timed, completely unrelated question and a glance at him.
You like him.
All you can do is blink at him, dazed, unable to speak, even more so when he leans in a little closer, mistaking your silence for misunderstanding. âI mean, not that Iâ You and Wade were doing a bit earlier, itâs a reference toââ Logan straightens suddenly, his expression slipping into concern as he watches you, âAre you okay?â
You feel warm, so aware of all his attention on you that youâre afraid he might be able to see your pulse blink rapidly below the angle of your jaw. âYeah,â you reply, voice hoarse, looking away from him to blink the leftover wetness from earlier out of your eyes.Â
Anxiety claws its way into your chest, your mind coming to terms with what itâs puzzled together at such a sickening pace that thereâs an immediate knot in your stomach. The party has instantly lost its shine, and you look down at the glass in your hand, gulping down its contents. You need to be alone with your thoughts, you need to think about this beforeâ
âI gotta go,â you say in such a rush that it almost sounds like one word while you set your glass on the kitchen counter.
Loganâs eyes follow you as you push past him, grab your coat and reach for the doorknob. âWaitââ
âBye, Logan.â
THE TABLE
Once at home, you change into something more comfortable, your mind racing while you peel your party clothes off, toss your bra aside, change into an oversized shirt and plop down on the couch after.
Despite having already established that your mind was occupied with other things for a very long time, itâs laughable in hindsight that you never noticed your feelings before. Itâs not like you donât know what Loganâs like; heâs kind, funny, supportiveâŠ
âŠbroad, handsome.
Shit.
Why did you have to come to your senses? Things were better before that moment. Loganâs your friend, whom you met in the most unconventional way possible. Itâs ridiculous to want more than what you have when what you have is good. Or to think that he would want more.
But he might.
Because you may have been occupied with depression, anxiety, recovery, and everything in between, but you were there; you remember the time you spent with him, the way he looks at you, drinks the coffee you like, laughs at your jokes, seems to know exactly when to call you, seeks you out in a crowd.
But it would change everythâÂ
Actually, not a whole lot would change, if you really think about it. You already see him all the time, youâve seen the very worst of each other, overcome a great deal of hardship together, you make each other better, his friends are yourâŠÂ
friends.Â
You didnât say goodbye to Wade.
The thought comes suddenly. It was his birthday party and you didnât even say goodbye to him before you left. Youâre a terrible friend. Dread sinks into your limbs, and you reach for your phone to type out a quick, apologetic message. Just as you hit send, thereâs a series of loud knocks on the door, and it makes you freeze up where youâre seated.
âAre you in there?â a muffled voice calls out.
Itâs Logan, you realize, and a plethora of fake excuses as to why you left the party early present themselves to your mind as you quickly make your way over to the door.
The first thing you notice when you open it is that heâs dripping wet from the rain, clothes soaked through and his hair flat. Thereâs a deep furrow in his brow, and itâs different from how he usually looks; he looks actually mad.
âLogan, is everythingââ you begin, concerned, but he cuts you off by pushing past you and letting himself inside, boots stomping against the wooden floor.Â
âJesus, here you are. Whyâd you leave like that, huh? Saying goodbye, your eyes all wet. I went after you and you were fucking gone, it scared the shit out of me. Didnât see the car at the lookout, but I went to look for you anyway, and you werenât in the water, thank fuckââ
âWait, you wentââ you pause, the mental image of Logan running out into the rain to the cliffside making your eyes widen. âDid you think..?â
âYeah,â he sighs, shoulders slumping.
âShit.â Your heart is racing when you step closer to him. âNo, I wasnât⊠I donât want that anymore.â
âThen what the fuck was that all about?â
The desperation and misunderstanding in his eyes is unmistakable, and you hate that you made him feel like that. âI was just⊠I needed a moment, after seeing Wade and Vanessa like that,â you say, trying to provide yourself with more time to think, unsure if you already want to broach the subject of why you really left.
âYou⊠like Wade?â Logan asks, his frown deepening.
You canât help the laugh that escapes you at the unexpected question. âNo. I mean, I adore Wade, but not like that. Heâs with Vanessa.â
The answer does nothing to change his expression. âAnd you want it to be different?â
His line of questioning confuses you. âIâ No. Logan, this isnât about Wade or Vanessa, but itâs about⊠what they have. Something thatâs real, but imperfect, and thatâs what actually makes it perfect, and I just⊠I was in a really bad place for such a long time, I didnât give myself time to even think about⊠I havenât felt myself wanting for so long,â your gaze flicks up to his. âSeeing them just made me realize thereâs so much left that I still want.âÂ
Internally, you curse the way he always makes you say too much, because you can see the understanding wash over his features. His expression softens, the balled fists by his side loosen, and his eyes search you, as if to see if that thing you want is him. Thereâs no doubt he finds his answer; youâre ever the open book when it comes to him, and your pulse quickens while he silently observes you.Â
Logan reaches for you so quickly that you can barely prepare for it, a hand on your waist to pull you in, another on your cheek to tip your face up and guide your mouth to his. A shaky breath sails out through your nose when your lips meet, your eyes fluttering shut and your palms sliding up his damp but warm chest to curl in the soaked fabric of his shirt. Itâs eager, and the angle is off, but itâs quickly adjusted with a brief parting and a near in-sync tilt of your heads in the other direction.Â
Logan pulls away, but stays close, and you almost feel his words before hearing them, âBeen⊠thinking about doing that.â
âReally?â you say, breathless and amused. âWhen did you, um, start wanting to do that?â
âFew weeks agoâFuck, no, more than that. Almost did, that day after your first meeting, after you told me you were proud of me,â he admits. âBut I wanted to give you time, space. Wasnât sure if you feltââ
âI do. Didnât realize it before, but I fucking do,â you assure him, another tug on his collar trying to pull him back to you. His admissions, knowing he wants you too, only make you want him more, like you have to make up for all the time you wasted not doing this sooner.
Loganâs hand on your waist holds you off. âI just donât know how to⊠how to be this,â he confesses softly.
âThatâs okay,â you say, your nose brushing against his. âI donât either.â
He inches forward like he intends to kiss you again, but seems to reconsider, swallowing hard before saying, âWouldnât be the first time we figure it out together, huh?â
The words make you surge forward to close the gap between you, your brows creasing, attempting to convey everything you feel with one press of your lips to his. Loganâs hand slides from your cheek to the back of your head, pulling you to him in a way that seems to mirror your efforts. Something lights up inside you, something you lost long ago, and it makes you bold, opening your mouth under his to get a taste of him.Â
His grip on you tightens with a groan, spurring him into action and walking you backwards into the dark kitchen, the only illumination the slivers of moonlight that come through the kitchen window. You jolt when the back of your thighs hit the table, before youâre scrambling to get on top of it, two hands at your waist helping to hoist you up. Your thighs widen to make room for Loganâs while you push the green flannel shirt off his shoulders, struggling to peel it off his arms to the point you have to break away with a laugh to really get it right. It lands on the floor with a wet sound, before he reaches for the back of his shirt, curling his fingers around the collar and pulling it over his head.
Loganâs sturdy, warm to the touch and surprisingly pliant when you canât help but let your fingers flit along the corded muscles and protruding veins while he toes off his shoes. His hand flies to the back of your head to fist the hair at the nape of your neck when your lips explore, find his jaw, and travel down his neck. A soft sound sails from his mouth, a barely audible moan that carries over into something deeper when your lips brush a spot just above his clavicle. Using the grip he has on you, he drags you back up to his mouth, doing some more of his own exploring when his warm tongue strokes against your own.Â
âYouâre so good to me,â he murmurs with a buck of his hips against yours. The thrill of having him pushed up against you, half-hard, warm, full of promise, makes you moan, teeth clacking against his when you do. âAlways so fucking good to me.â
It makes you want to protest, from the very moment you met, heâs the one always being that to you, but it dies on your tongue when Loganâs flicks over the tips of his fingers. His impatient hand finds its way between you, disappearing under the waistband of your underwear and stretching the material to make room. His name comes out as a whimper when his spit-slick fingers easily glide through the soft skin between your legs. He curses, another buck of his hips pressing his hand closer against you, and your kiss turns messy and uncoordinated when he dips one finger to touch your clit.Â
âThis okay?â Logan asks when you gasp, drawing languid circles between your legs.
âYeah, itâs justâ Oh, god.â Two thick fingers find your entrance, swirling the wetness there around. âBeen a while,â you manage to finish your sentence.
âIâll make it good for you,â he promises. âYou want that?â
All you can do is nod, and Logan presses a kiss to the corner of your mouth before he pulls his hand back. Itâs paired with a wet sound that makes your cheeks heat, more so when you watch him get on his knees and yank you to the edge of the table, the quick turn of events and the casual display of his strength making you a little dizzy. Loganâs nose presses into the fabric between your legs with a sharp inhale, before quick, practiced moves work your underwear down your legs. One eager hand places a thigh on his shoulder as another holds you at the bend of your knee. You lie back, arching as you hurriedly pull your t-shirt over your head, leaning up on your elbows just in time to watch him bend down.Â
The feeling of Loganâs hot breath sailing out over your sensitive skin alone is enough to make you gasp. He drags his lips and nose across your folds, easing you into it as much as his lack of patience will allow before tasting you with a swipe of his tongue. It isnât tentative or testing, but firm and sure, and clearly for his enjoyment as much as yours when he repeats his action and groans into you. The vibrations of it and the gentle scratch of his facial hair only add to the liquid feeling in the pit of your stomach. Letting go of your knee, he curls a strong arm around your thigh, spreading you open then pulling you flush against him while he sucks your clit into his mouth.
âOh, that feels really good,â you spur him on, your heel digging in between his shoulder blades. You watch him with hooded eyes, shifting your weight to one elbow so you can cup your breast with a whine.Â
Loganâs eyes slip shut in focus, working his tongue up and down your clit and making you arch into his mouth. Reaching for you blindly, he slides a hand over yours on your chest, fingers fitting between your own and squeezing while his tongue slides lower to lick over where youâre dripping for him. He lets out an appreciative hum as he repeats the move until your thighs clench and shake around his ears. His tongue dips inside you, curling up against the slick walls of your cunt, and his name tumbles from your mouth, soft, pleading, making his eyes shoot open to meet yours.
The sight of him looking up at you like that from between your thighs, with dark eyes, the tip of his nose glistening with your wetness, will probably haunt you for the rest of your life.Â
Logan shushes your begging, pulling away and watching as your pussy clenches at the sudden lack of attention. âLet me give you something to come on,â he murmurs, before fitting a finger at your entrance. It meets absolutely no resistance, a second finger sliding inside with just as much ease, and he sets a steady, deep rhythm before his mouth returns to your clit.
âOh, fuck, fuck, fuckââ Your head rolls back between your shoulder blades, mouth open on a silent gasp, but he draws your attention back to him with a curl of his fingers, finding a spot that makes you go rigid for a second. It all builds so fast, so suddenly. The hand on your chest shakes Loganâs off, finding the crown of his head and sliding your fingers into his hair. Heâs too strong to really make purchase, but you try anyway, using your grip to roll your hips against him. The sound of his groans, every flick of his tongue and every squelching, delicious curl of his fingers all send you closer and closer, until his hand presses down on your belly, andâŠ
âLogan,â you manage, voice sharp with a warning that comes too late when he makes you tumble over the edge.Â
Itâs so much after so long, the force of it making you fall back against the table, something between a gasp and a shout tearing from your throat. He holds you tighter, to keep you in place and guide the desperate roll of your hips against his face. Your orgasm quickly slips into something bordering on oversensitivity, and you let out a dry sob that makes you slap a hand over your mouth when Loganâs tongue travels a path from where his stilled fingers disappear inside you, up to your clit. He stays there, gentle, uncharacteristically patient as you slowly come to a twitching halt.Â
Heâs a blur when he comes back into your field of view after standing up, towering over you to watch as you come back down to earth. Becoming sharper with every heavy blink of your eyes, you notice the smile on his face is smug, that the hair surrounding it is a shade darker than the rest. You sigh softly when his fingers slip from you, the feeling of them sliding wetly over your clit making you tremble, but his touch doesnât leave you completely when he moves to stroke the outside of your thigh.
âHowâs that?â Logan dares to ask.
âHmm, no speaking yet,â you protest.
Reaching for him, you slide both of your arms up over his broad shoulders, wrists crossed in the nape of his neck to pull him in for another kiss. Itâs slow, and deep, the taste of yourself shared between the two of you as your tongue slides over his. The table protests with a creak when his hands land beside your head, more when his chest pushes down on yours and you wrap a leg around his waist to get him even closer. The hair scattered across his broad chest teases your nipples and the hard ridge of his cock strains against his jeans and presses up against your slick cunt. It makes your jaw go slack, stoking your desire and making you burn with the need to make him feel as good as he just made you feel.Â
With a push against his shoulders, you take him along as you sit upright again, accompanied by another creak of the table. Mouth still on his, you slide a hand down to cup him over his jeans, the weight of him against your wide open palm making you pulse. Logan grunts when your hand squeezes, and your mouth slides off his, kissing his jaw, sliding back down his neck. He cups your head, keeping you in place while watching your hand.
âFeels nice,â he husks, voice so deep it makes you want to push him aside and get on your knees for him, but then he asks, âAre you gonna let me fuck you?â
âGod, yeah,â you say with a nod, watching as the mark you just sucked into his neck disappears far too soon while you continue rubbing him over the denim. âWant you inside of me.â
âJesusâThen get it out,â he instructs, guiding your hand to his belt.Â
If you werenât so turned on you might wince at how eager you are, at how quickly you tug the buckle open and pull the leather free. Logan groans when it relieves some of the pressure, letting his forehead rest against yours. Together, you watch your hands make quick work of his zipper, your fist closing around his cock while your other hand works his pants down until he can kick it off and under the table.
He fits nicely in your palm, heavy and ready, sticky at the tip. With a purse of your lips, you let your spit trickle down in a straight line, and he hisses when it hits him. Your free hand flattens against his stomach, sliding down along the hard planes of his body and following the vein just below his belly button down, until it meets your other hand that loosely strokes up to the root of his cock. Logan arches into you when you stroke back up with a tighter grip, all but getting on his toes to chase your touch. Using both of your hands to get all of him, you twist your fists in opposite directions once, twice, before circling his tip with one thumb. Your other hand curls around the underside of him, dragging some of your spit down to his balls with the tips of your fingers.
âFâfuck,â Logan stutters when you play with him there, cupping him in your hand as well as you can and squeezing his shaft when it twitches in response. His eyes slip shut as his palms land on the outside of your thighs with a smack, fingertips digging into your soft skin.Â
It makes you jolt, then grin, giddy from the sharp sting and the power you have over his pleasure. âHowâs that?â you echo with a teasing lilt.
He does have the words to answer, albeit a little slurred, ââS good, sweetheart.â
The nickname tacked on at the end takes root in your chest, blooms bright and makes you ache. You translate your appreciation into tightening your strokes and spreading more of the precome that steadily leaks from his tip around.
âCâmere,â Logan says softly, taking over for you with one hand, giving himself a few strokes before pushing your thighs further apart and shuffling closer to line himself up with you.
Youâre so wet that the head of his cock is practically already slipping inside of you, but your hand clasps around his bicep when he really starts to breach you. After giving you a shallow little thrust, his hips draw back, before pushing a little further, gauging your reaction.
âJust like that,â you sigh, watching the careful slide of him in and out of you. âKeep going just like that.â
He gets you opened up like that, giving you a little more with each wind of his hips. Loganâs hand finds the back of your neck, his palm splaying out and keeping you close enough that youâre practically sharing air with each sigh and moan. Eventually, your knees have to draw up to his flanks in order for him to keep going and you wind a leg around his hip to close the final distance with a press of your heel into one of the firm cheeks of his ass. A long breath sails out from between your lips when you pulse around him, slowly adjusting to having all of him filling you up. You can tell he has to put considerable effort into letting you, wood groaning below you when he clutches onto the table.
âFuck, itâs a lot,â you say, and when he grins against your mouth you canât help but kiss him again â just a peck. The hand at the back of your neck squeezes in reassurance as he continues to let you lead, and itâs a small gesture, but it makes you feel warm all over. You melt into it his touch, your body relaxing as the pleasure of the stretch of him takes over. Â
âCan stay like this a little longer if you want,â he says, but the strain in his voice says something different.
âHmm, no, you can move.â Youâve barely said it, or his hips are drawing back, and it would have made you laugh if it didnât feel so fucking incredible. He almost slips from you completely, before sliding all the way back inside with a grunt. The table scrapes along the floor, and vaguely you register one of your chairs falling over in the process. When he repeats the action, the furniture squeaks again below you. âJust donât break my table.â
The sound he makes in response is non-commital, and when he fucks back into you and nudges against something wonderful, you canât say you disagree. Grabbing hold of his shoulder and using the leg you have wrapped around him, you roll your hips against his, and he begins to meet you halfway until you work up a rhythm together. The table protest further, a shrill sound filling the room after each slap of skinâ
With a frustrated groan and accompanied by a startled squeal from yourself, Logan lifts you. The surprised laugh that threatens to bubble up your throat quickly morphs into something heavier that comes out with a rasp when he makes it all look unusually effortless. Attempting to brace yourself, you sling one arm over his shoulders, the other winding around his neck so you can rake your fingers through the hair at the back of his head. Itâs a struggle to keep your balance, a helpless heel digging into the back of his thigh to keep yourself upright. Quick to aid, Logan slides an arm under you, fingers splayed across your ass as your knee hangs off the inside of his elbow. He turns a quarter, presses you up against the wall, and doesnât miss a beat as he continues fucking you.Â
âJesus, Logan,â you say, voice almost a growl and barely recognizable as your own.
With your new position, you can see him better, the both of you lit from the side with the window to your left. The moonlight paints him in a tapestry of light and shadows when the wind blows through the tree branches, momentarily amplifying the glint in his eyes and the flex of his chest and arms like a strobe light.
The different angle he finds with his cock is a little too good, the feeling of the thick base of him stretching you open with each thrust making you dazed and talkative, âItâs so deep like this, canâoh, my godâcan feel you everywhere.âÂ
Logan curses at your words, squeezing your waist and pushing you harder against the wall. Thereâs a deep-voiced appreciation of how good you feel in there too that doesnât quite make it from your ears to your brain because somehow heâs still speeding up. His head ducks down to your chest, mouthing at the soft skin of your breast before closing his lips around a nipple.Â
You whine, using the grip you have on him to roll your hips against the piston of his while you pant into his crown. Though the sound he makes against you when you do it makes you beam with pride, itâs not something you can keep up for very long, your hold on him slacking after a few thrust until you slip back against the wall.Â
Logan pulls back when you do, tightening his hold on you while his eyes glide from the bounce of your tits that glisten with his spit to down between your bodies.Â
âTouch yourself,â he instructs, grunting when you immediately do as he says by bringing a hand down between where youâre joined. Your fingers spread in a V-shape around where he fucks into you, collecting some of your mixed arousal before using it to rub your clit. âThatâs it, sweetheart, fuck, make yourself come.â
You nod, rapidly feeling everything zeroing in on the fingers that draw tight circles over your clit and that spot deep inside you that Loganâs finding with every thrust. âYeah, fuck, IâmâDonât stop, donât stop, pleaseââ
Heâs coming before you are, tucking his head below your chin to let out a deep, drawn out moan against your neck that ends with his teeth grazing your skin. Itâs so much, the pressure of him grinding himself into you with twitching, barely there thrusts, the heat of his release as it fills you where youâre gripping him like a vice, and as your fingers still twirl between your legs you come, and come, and come.Â
The leg you have wrapped around his hip slips off, but before your toes can even scrape the floor, he catches your thigh, cupping your ass with both hands now to keep you up, and close. With a soft, satisfied sound, you let your forehead fall against Loganâs shoulder, tasting the salt of his sweat with every light press of your lips there.
It takes you a moment to notice your back has come off the wall, that Logan is walking the both of you into your living room and to the couch. He bends his knees, dropping you between your pillows, where you land with as much grace as you can muster considering you feel like youâre made of lead. The soft couch is pleasant against your body, your sore limbs sinking into the cushions.Â
Logan fits himself between your legs again, widening them around his broad shoulders before his lips find your overstretched thighs, leaving marks and kisses up up up, until his tongue slips back into your pussy. Your back arches off the couch, hands shooting down to fist his hair with a whine while Loganâs hand fists his cock. As your eyes adjust to the darkness, you can tell heâs already getting hard again, and his tongue is making something swirl low in your belly thatâs making you pant, and...
Itâll be a long night.
THE PEARL
It had taken a lot of convincing and downright groveling, but Wade had allowed you to bring a movie for movie night. It wasnât that he didnât trust your taste in movies, his main gripe with your choice was that it wasnât a Christmas movie â mandatory for December. Wadeâs right, but after you explained that itâs the movie you always watch at the end of the year (and after Logan and yourself conceded that yes, his birthday was technically also your anniversary) heâd agreed.Â
Now that youâre actually watching it, you suspect heâs genuinely invested, because after a handful of comments about The Hulk, heâs been quiet for longer than youâve ever heard him be quiet.
In the scene on the screen, Mark Ruffaloâs character Dan and Keira Knightleyâs character Gretta are taking an evening walk around New York City, dancing, singing and sharing music with each other as they do. Eventually, they stop and sit next to each other on some steps, watching as the city continues to move without them.
â...the most banal scenes are suddenly invested with so much meaning, ya know? All these banalities, they're suddenly turned into these⊠these beautiful, effervescent pearls,â Dan says, wistfully looking on as New York bustles around him. âI gotta say, as I've gotten older these pearls are just⊠becoming increasingly more and more rare to me.â
The arm Logan has slung around your shoulder tightens, and the couch creaks softly as you lean further into his side, your cheek squishing against his warm chest.
âMore string than pearls?â Gretta inquires with a frown.
âYeah. You got to travel over a lot more string to get to the pearls.â Thereâs a pause as he turns to look at her, âThis moment is a pearl, Gretta.â
She gives him a hint of a smile. âIt sort of is, isn't it?â
âAll this has been a pearl,â he admits, sharing a look with her.
A finger curls under your chin, tipping your head up until your eyes meet Loganâs. He gives you the same look you just saw on the screen, his eyes soft as they take you in, the hint of green between the hazel illuminated by the light of the television. A thumb swipes over your bottom lip fondly, before he leans down to kiss you.
It takes a lot of string indeed.
Sometimes even interdimensional string.
â â â â â
(THE END)
If you made it all the way here, thanks for reading. Seriously. Please come say hi and/or share your thoughts via ask/messages/reblogs/whatever you feel comfortable with. I hope to share more writing soon - emphasis on hope, I'm not making promises, just an educated wish.
And lastly, if you're struggling with mental health problems, please don't wait for a handsome stranger to sweep you off your feet. I know from experience that it can be incredibly difficult to reach that hand out, but I also know from experience that things can get better. There are ways to get help and you deserve to get help đ«
#this was incredible#logan howlett x reader#jess reads#2024 fave fics#fic rec: logan howlett#fic rec: deadpool & wolverine#thinking of queue
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Holy shit. TIMEBOMB FANS STRAP IN FOR THIS.
(lots of you have probably already seen this video before, but hereâs a quick reminder)
First letâs start with the pinned comment that breaks down time stamps in the video:
Introduction (Ekko did not just have a SLIGHT crush on Jinx lol) : [0:00]
RIOT geniously hiding stuff about Timebomb till the reveal : [1:32]
The timelapse (lots of uncorrect lines in the audio cause we didn't know they met at that time, so it was just me theorizing, but I guess I wasn't wrong now lol) : [2.35]
Ekko-Jinx background, Timelapse + what we know from LORE, and how RIOT been playing with our sanity : [3:20]
âš WALL ANALYSIS [starting with the easiest ones to see, most interesting parts are near the end]
Intro : Ekko's Wall painted in a RORSCHACH Art style [patchwork graffiti] - being full of Powder & Jinx, Ekko being in love representations, and references to Arcane : [7:28]
Jinx's heroe number and Ekko having her X and her signature all over him : [10:09]
(!) Please see the threads in description to see it all pointed out (!) The video didn't really say it right but these pictures and explanations will definitely make you see what I mean, and also, what I mean about the hair-clip and the Firelight symbol might be theory but I have explained in my thread all the things I discovered that make me thing the Firelight symbol, seeing how it changed, might have a link with Jinx in the first place when it was invented by Ekko.
RIOT playing with us and hiding the fact Jinx was on the wall : [12:14]
This is NOT hypothesis : [12:58]
The developers pointing out the forms we need to see with the thunder hextech energy : [14:54]
Yes, Ekko was in love, and he represented himself 6 times looking at her with bewildered eyes, heart in his eyes, blushing or spying on her during their teenage days : [15:18]
âš SUMMARY FOR THE THE PAINTINGS --------
NOTE : sometimes you will see the paintings Iâm pointing out even better in the next paintings I will point out. By exemple, the Firebomb and the Ekko blushing drawing described in N°2, are clearer and more easy to see in the screencaps pointing out painting N°3! Just try sticking till the end of the video to see them all! ;)
First observations & How I started my Analyze : [16:11]
N°1 - Arcane Jinx main painting on the left - representing Ekkoâs Hope to get her back : [16:41]
N°2 - Powder main painting on the right (double faced Powder-Jinx + Ekko blushing + Jinx Chumper bomb) : [17:44]
N°3 & N°4 (I apologize for the lame quality of this one but it was quite hard to make it stand out!) - Screaming/crying Powder, teenage Powder-Jinx drawn K/DA style boxing + teenage Ekko with his Firelight jacket standing on the other side : 5 scenes painted in one and moving along with the seconds! (SIDE NOTE : the cube design on the painting represents the Arcade place in which Jinx boxes the machine, I forgot to mention it in the video!) : [19:19]
N°5 - Vi abandoning Powder - exact Arcane scene : [21:28]
N°6 - Get Jinxed scene from Arcane and Ekko spying on her : [22:14]
N°6, 7 & 8 - Ekko representations watching with bewildered eyes, blushing, with his Firelight mask AND A HEART around the 2 middle Powder & Jinx paintings : [25:20]
Back on N°7, beautiful painting of teenage-adult Jinx with shimmer eyes on top of the wall : [26:26]
N°9 - Little Powder from Arcane & Ekko blushing next to it : [27:47]
N°10 - Doll Jinx with Arcane's clothes : [28:28]
N°11 - Black & white picture of the same screaming/crying Powder represented on painting N°3 : [28:50]
N°12 (that you can see more clearly later in the screencaps of N°27!!) - Ekko in GILDED skin & Jinx with untie long hair drawn in negative mode : [29:04] (!) in the video I said Firelight jacket but now that I discovered all the Ekko-Jinx matching stuff in the Gilded universe (and them hiding in the crowd side-by-side on the Caitlynâs Gilded artwork lol), I realized it looked like Gilded Ekko in that painting!
N°13 - Young Ekko with unknown person on his side but seeing how the rest of the wall is Jinx, it is probably Powder : [29:19]
N°14 - Young Powder & Ekko talking, probably the talk they had after Powder was taking in by Silco, seeing how Ekko is represented like a skeleton (dying inside) : [29:37]
N°15 - Jinx blue smoke/cloud tattoos representation (!) this cloud I'm pointing out is actually part of the ''cracking the hextech scene'' I've discovered later on, and is located on her shoulder! I will show the painting of that scene later in the video don't worry ! ;) [30:25]
N°16 - Symbols next to the Get Jinxed painting, that have different meanings in the next scenes I will show when the wall will be upside down (singing, crying + hextech symbols) : [30:32]
N°17 - THREE PAINTINGS IN ONE : Powder's red eye when she looks at Silco at the end of Act 3 + Jinx's face/mouth when she looks at Ekko before she made her bomb explode : [30:45]
N°18 - Representation of baby Powder's trauma on the bridge : [31:54]
N°19 - Lighting the flare scene drawn negative mode again, being represented in every way/side you turn the wall : [32:12]
N°20 - Random elements, like Ekko's young blushing face, giving the shape of a heart when you turn them upside-down : [32:29]
N°21 - Young Powder with Arcane's clothes, but looking more fierce as the Powder we know. Perhaps one Powder from Ekko's memory, or the Powder from the Timelapse : [32:40] (!) You can see this painting more clearly in the screencaps of N°27 (!)
N°22 - Jinx drawning/reborn scene with Silco : [32:56]
N°23 - (sorry I have deleted this one since I couldn't point it out in the video, but here's what it was : the black canvas on each side of the scene, also have Jinx & Powder's representations on them, but you'll have to zoom in and improve lighting + the quality yourself to see them cause it can't be shown in a video ToT/)
N°24 - Powderâs leather bag + teenage Ekko staring + blue & pink hand palm : [33:17]
N°25 - Big Jinx monkey-bomb from Arcane, near the other paintings of that exact same scene : [33:37]
N°26 - Drawn negative mode : ''Devil'' Jinx from the bridge scene : [34:08]
N°27 - Two paintings in 1 - Teenage or adult Ekko & Jinx + Ekkoâs Gilded skin again ? : [34:31]
N°28 - Jinx ''cracking the Hextech'' scene : [34:57]
N°29 - Firelights representations, same as the ones Jinx drew in her Diary : [35:40]
N°30 - end [36:05]
MORE INTERPRETATIONS & BETTER QUALITY OF SOME PAINTINGS :
N°12 - Ekko & Jinx with untie long hair drawn in negative mode but also, if you look at it at [34:55], you'll see it way more clearly AND also see that it gives Jinx lighting up the flare scene with Ekko on his overboard flying around her.
N°27 - at [34:37] you'll see the young Powder from N°21 way more clearly!
The Jinx Monckey-bomb. At [30:58] ; [31:55] and [34:13] you might see the Jinx Monckey-bomb more clearly as the pictures are in better quality or more focused on this area !
N°22 [32:06] : I forgot to mention it in the video but in that drawing-reborn scene with Silco, you can actually see fingers/a hand (drawn by the Jinx mouth from N°28) pushing on Jinxâs skull/in her hair which seems to be pulling her under water.
More stuff about the Get Jinxed painting and the Devil Jinx one : on top of the Get Jinxed painting, there is a scary white mask/face that I believe to be representing Silco. When you turn the picture upside down, and try not focusing on that mask, it then gives off the Devil Jinx I showed earlier.
Also, the big yellow/bewildered eye in the middle of Jinx chest in the Get Jinxed painting could be representing the Eye of Zaun, as this a tech-nerd Jinx being represented here, and as Ekko is represented staring/spying on her, it could imply that Ekko has recognized Powder in her in that moment, the Zaunite child with whom he grew up with and whom he loved.
End note : I forgot to mention it in the video but there are also 2â3 Vi representations on the Jinx paintings, one from the scene where she left her on the street and went to calm herself away from her, and another with her head and shoulders down, on the main Jinx painting on the left, that looks like the Vi introducing scene from Episode 4 in the prison.
OKAY INSANE. Next Iâm gonna give you some screenshots I took so yâall can get some visuals to the stuff you just read. Also, WATCH THE VIDEO!!! The creator does a lot better at exposing than I doânever mind the fact that this is literally their findings! (I didnât find any of these, just watched the video and now spreading it to tumblr). I have absolutely no recollection of which Nâą photo these images belong to so youâll have to play connect the dots lmao
A lot of the images also already have text on the screen explaining, Iâm just gonna paraphrase what the voice in the video (not the text) is saying.
These two photos are telling us how Ekkoâs down bad ass based the entire firefly logo off of Jinx and her logo⊠and for the context in the first image about the emboldened Z, here it is:
PRACTICALLY IDENTICAL.
This is the video creator explaining their level 1 billion brain power on thinking outside the box and how the idea of the painting was to go back to an Ekko origin short that came out YEARS before Arcane did. Theyâve been planning this entire time, and when the description pasted far above talking about the different photos it was talking about the images painted on a wall in an Ekko origin (will show screenshots next)
The creator of the yt video found almost FORTY Jinx paintings and references to Arcane (which hadnât been anywhere near its release date when the origin came out.
These ones on the large wood slab are CRAZY. The artists and develops had loads of fun because in the last photo you can see jinx screaming/crying if you focus on all the colours in the photo.
However, the YouTuber blurred Jinxâs face to hell you focus on the blues and pinks where the developers/artists made kind of like a moving mini scene that moved while the video itself moved. To my understanding you can see Jinx boxing and at some point Ekko shows up, too.
(Iâll repost this so I can add more images đ)
#âź reef talks#arcane#timebomb#theories#league of legend#Ekko#jinx#crush#before you started talking to the gun#league of legends#lol
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In the mood for...
Nov 11th
~*~
1. hi this is for itmf!
I'd like to request fics focusing on/from the pov of Nie brothers! anything like nhs conspiring to save nmj or nmjs thought process. would be nice if nhs was also friends with wwx and they were sort of working together!
thank you @bunnycoffeeumcat
The Threads of Fate by WaitForTheSnitch (E, 86k, WangXian, WIP, Time Travel Fix-It, Canon Divergence, Not Everyone Dies, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Cloud Recesses Shenanigans, Good Uncle LQR, Protective LWJ, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, Pining LWJ, WWX in WWX's Body, JC & WWX Reconciliation, is it reconciliation if WWX doesn't know they were estranged?, Oblivious WWX, WWX Deserves Better, WWX Deserves Happiness, Siblings JC & WWX, Supportive JYL, Protective NHS, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Comic Book Science)
This Time Around by KouriArashi (T, 83k, JGY & NHS, NHS & WWX, JGY & WWX, Time Travel Fix-It, Kid Fic, Families of Choice, Angst, Grief/Mourning, Politics, Class Issues, Past Child Abuse, Moral Ambiguity, Everybody Lives, Eventual Happy Ending)
Heart of the Beast by WaitForTheSnitch (E, 488k, WangXian, WWX Isnât Adopted by the JiÄngs, Adopted WWX, WWX is a NiĂš, Canon Divergence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Oblivious WWX, Protective NMJ, Scheming NHS, Protective NHS, Soft NMJ, NMJ is So Done, NHS Is A Little Shit, Pining, LWJ Has Feelings)
shades of grey spill from my veins (bleeding ink all over the page) by Reverie (cl410) (M, 58k, NieLan, WangXian, SangNing, POV NMJ, Canon Divergence, Joining the âWei Wuxian raised by the Nie Sectâ Club, Mentions of WWXâs life on the streets, Hurt/Comfort, Accidental Sibling Acquisition, Single Dad NMJ, NHS & WWX Friendship, Fluff, Humor, Happy Ending, Everyone Lives AU, Protective NMJ, Sunshot Campaign, Some angst, Blood and Injury, Kidnapping, Protective Siblings, Found Family)
Third Sun by PhantomWriter (T, 57k, NHS & NMJ, Canon Divergence, Time Travel Fix-It, Fake Marriage, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Crack Treated Seriously, BAMF NHS, Protective NHS, Protective NMJ, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, LWJ is a WÄn) Note that while one of the latter fics the the series explores true Niecest in a "what if" au, the brothers' relationship in the main story is purely platonic and co-conspiratorial.
~*~
2. in the mood for maybe yllz!wwx suddenly time traveling/finding himself in a world that has cleared his name?
đConfusion by Vrishchika (Not Rated, 4k, WangXian, Time Travel)
~*~
3. Hii! A) May I ask if you have any other aftercare wangxian fics ? Try a little tenderness was amazing! B) Also any fics with Wangxian cuddling or comforting each other when they cry or get sick (especially modern au). C) Also, anything modern AU to recommend? Preferably completed, though I feel like everything completed has already been recommended or mentioned before? Thank you SO MUCH!!
A Sure Thing by vesna (mrsronweasley) (E, 95k, WangXian, Modern, Sugar Daddy, Sex Work, Light Dom/sub, Aftercare, Semi-Public Sex, Exhibitionism, Bondage, use of sex toys, boundary setting, Relationship Negotiation, many baths, Barebacking) fits a, b, c
3C)
spoke like we meant it by BlackWiresOnHerHead (T, 10k, WangXian, Modern, 5+1, Fluff, oh my god they were roommates, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Pining, Cuddling, Accidental Confession, Humor, Abandonment Issues, Light Angst)
Many happy returns. by orange_crushed (E, 25k, WangXian, Modern AU, Mistaken Identity, Misunderstandings, Grief/Mourning, Loss of Parent(s), Implied/Referenced Suicide, Past Suicide of a Parent, References to Depression, Anxiety, Therapy, References to Anti-Depressant Medications, Escort Service, Loneliness, Everybodyâs Abandonment Issues, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Domestic Fluff, Moving In Together, Oral Sex, Penetrative Sex, Hopeful Ending, Recovery, References to Escorting/Sex Work but No Actual Escorting/Sex Work)
Deep Dive by MimiSpearmint (E, 24k, WangXian, Modern AU, Twin Prides of Yunmeng Feels, Are Bad at Communicating, LWJ is a Panicked Gay, Therapy, Fluff and Humor, Getting Together, Angst with a Happy Ending, Career Ending Injuries, counsellor!lwj, give lwj friends agenda, background NieLan, Melbourne, Eventual Smut, Crack, Baby JL, domestic abuse is discussed but does not happen, Baby LSZ, Baby LJY, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Good Sex Practices, Implied Slight D/s, WangXian Have a Breeding Kink, Cameos by various minor characters)
Close to the Truth by Winglesss (M, 14k, WangXian, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Party, Ugly Holiday Sweaters, Romantic Comedy, Modern, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Homophobia, Tooth-Rotting Fluff)
Ticket to Ride by mistresscurvy (E, 18k, wangxian, Modern, Online Dating, Road Trips, Service Top, Phone Sex, Dick Pics, Wedding Banquet)
Previously, on LEGO Masters by trippednfell (M, 55k, wangxian, Reality TV Show Contestants/Judges, Modern, Mutual Pining, Forced to compete together, strangers to reality show contestants to lovers, there's only one bed, Platonic Cuddling, Autistic LWJ, WWX Has ADHD, Grief/Mourning, Wangxian miss their moms, so much pining, More Pining than LEGO in this LEGO fic, Additional Warnings In Author's Note, POV Alternating, Lego Masters AU, Not YZY friendly, Dysfunctional Jiang family dynamics)
~*~
4. Itmf, A) untamed au (where wwx and xue yang are aprox same age), they knew each other as street children but lost contact when wwx was taken by the Jiang. Wether they were on good terms or not is up to you. They're reunited when xy is tied up and searched for the yin iorn. (Is xy still/became a villain? Or is there more going on/framed by the sects?)
B) untamed au (where wwx and xy are aprox same age). Diverging au where dif types of soulmates exist, wwx accidentally touches skin when searching xue yang, and a soulmate mark/reaction happens.
~*~
5. Itmf fics with good platonic part and plot along with ofcourse our dear wangxian as the mains. More specifically I'm looking for fics where there is huge platonic relationship in the plot . I want it between: Wei Wuxian with maybe Jiang cheng or Wen Ning or Wen Qing or any other character in the book. It can even be some oc. NO modern au please. @constellationdks
~*~
6. Hi hi! Are there any spiderman! wwx or lwj fics?
let your colours bleed and blend with mine by ravenditefairylights (T, 13k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Superheroes/Superpowers, Spiderman AU, Secret Identity, Angst with a Happy Ending, Romance, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Crossdressing, Yunmeng Bros Reconciliation, There Was Only One Bed, Fluff)
wangxian spiderman AU by amisfitm (Not Rated, 1k, WIP, WangXian, smut, Fluff, spiderman au, spider wangji)
lookin' at you sideways by starries (T, 15k, WangXian, Modern AU, Superheroes/Superpowers, High School, basically spiderman!wwx, Fluff, Getting Together)
~*~
7. hello! are there any fics in which wwx tells someone about the kiss on Phoenix mountain? like jyl or something? or at least him like, still thinking about it and trying to find the 'strong maiden' who kissed him.
the breaking of your soul (upon my lips) by sunsandships (M, 40k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Mutual Pining, Golden Core Reveal, Happy Ending)
Thereâs A Molester On The Loose At Phoenix Mountain!! by sweetlolixo (G, 3k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Humor, Crack, Romance) There's also this one if the requester doesn't mind a humorous story about the Phoenix Mountain kiss
~*~
8. idk if this is too specific but itmf for old friends wangxian reuniting either due to the juniors/lan yuan or them being witnesses to it? but they didnât know this wei wuxian guy is the person lwj has been missing and stuff? or vice versa? thank u !!
~*~
9. itmf wangxian modern royalty aus? would love the arranged marriage trope specifically but im open to anything!
(no jc/wq please) thanks for your help, always! <3
They aren't modern au, only royalty and sometimes arranged marriage. All very good though I recommend them:
To Deliver an Heir by cerbykerby (E, 49k, WangXian, slight dubcon/noncon but wangxian are into it, A/B/O, Alpha LWJ, Omega WWX, Heat Sex, Knotting, Royalty Medical, Emperor LWJ, Physician WWX, Mpreg, Postpartum Depression, Breeding, Creampie, LWJ literally cannot stop himself from coming in WWX, Breastfeeding)
æççćæŻèŸČæ° | sowing seeds in the cold palace by sweetlolixo (E, 84k, WangXian, Imperial Palace, Emperor LWJ, Imperial Consort WWX, Farmer WWX, Angst, Romance, Wingman LJY, Wife-chasing-LWJ, Arranged Marriage, Best Boy A-Yuan)
éĄéäž | by his majestyâs decree by sweetlolixo (E, 40k, WangXian, Imperial Palace, Emperor LWJ, Concubine WWX, Harems, Pining LWJ, LWJ is not a dragon in this one but he descended from them :), Childhood Sweethearts (sort of), Romance, minimal angst, Happy Ending, NHS & WWX are concubine BFFs, LWJ has NO EYES for anyone besides WWX donât worry the harem is only for the plot setting, Fantasy, Pregnant WWX, Possessive LWJ, Fluff)
True Gold Fears No Fire by defractum (nyargles) (M, 75k, WIP, WangXian, Â Royalty, Ancient China, Wuxia, Historical, Historical Inaccuracy, Arranged Marriage, Identity Porn, Mutual Pining, Emperor LWJ, Empress WWX, Eventual Happy Ending, Misunderstandings)
travelers through the empty gate by stiltonbasket (M, 112k, WangXian, royalty au, mistaken identity, emperor WWX, poor LWJ, forced marriage, (by LWJ himself), confused WWX, parenthood, misunderstandings, empress LWJ, fluff & humor, married life, angst w/ happy ending, WIP)
A Blade By Your Side by athena_crikey (E, 77k, WangXian, Historical, Royalty, Forced Marriage, Bodyguard, court intrigue, falling in love with the person you're married to, Hurt/Comfort, Misunderstandings, Politics, Drama, Compulsory Heterosexuality, Slow Burn)
Gotta die to come alive by Less_Ginger (M, 80k, WangXian, LWJ & LSZ & WWX, JC & WWX & JYL, WWX & WQ, LXC & LWJ, JYL/JZX, WIP, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Major Character Death, Not Really Character Death, Misunderstandings, Post Mpreg, Parent-Child Relationship, Brotherly Love, JYL is great big sis, Not Actually Unrequited Love, emperor lwj, and his empress wwx, and their legitimate son A-Yuan, Heabvy Angst with a Happy Ending, Slow Burn)
The Mummified Emperor Wants To Marry Me by sweetlolixo (E, 74k, WangXian, WIP, Modern, Historical Fantasy, Royalty, Emperor LWJ, Mummy LWJ, Reincarnation, Size Difference, Archaeologist WWX, Simp LWJ)
đ of all the hands by Anonymous (E, 51k, WangXian, Arranged Marriage, Canon Divergence, Emperor LXC, PTSD, Nightmares, Dual Cultivation, Mental Health Issues, Fluff and Angst, Dom/sub Undertones, Consensual Non-Consent, Bonding, Mutual Pining, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Politics, Improper Use of the Lan Forehead Ribbon, the get WWX some sleep agenda, yunmeng trio reconciliation)
~*~
10. for the next 'I'm in the mood for': I'm in the mood for a Wangxian fic where Lan Wangji is a ghost and Wei Wuxian just, lives with him and can see and interact with him? I would pretty much like that. @saiaisaiko
lovers be lost (but love shall not) by la_muerta (T, 13k, WangXian, Arranged Marriage, 1910s, Case Fic, Ghosts, Happy Ending, Background Relationships, Ghost Marriage)
Red Is Just Black Remembering by Zizzani (E, 41k, WangXian, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Homophobia, Necromancy, Ghosts, Modern, Cuddling & Snuggling, Sharing a Bed)
~*~
11. Hi :)) thank you for all of the hard work you have done for all of us who use your blog. I was wondering if there was a modern with cultivation au fic that has events similar to canon, or where there's a whole secret cultivation world and there's the sun shot campaign.
the journey is far from over series by thelastdboy (E, 164k, WangXian, WWX & Wen Remnants, LXC & LWJ, LWJ & MM, Madam Lan & LWJ, LXC & JGY, Modern Cultivation, Canon Divergence, Madam Lan Lives, JYL Lives, WQ Lives, Post-Sunshot Campaign, POV WWX, Slow Burn, YLLZ WWX, Recovery, Hurt/Comfort, Healing Is a Slow Process, therapy is good actually, All women deserve better, mlm/wlw solidarity, the mortifying ordeal of discovering you're into bdsm while you're caught up in political intrigue, Kink Negotiation, Kink Exploration, Not Everyone Dies, WWX Lives, Mental Health Issues, References to Depression, Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Burial Mounds Ensemble as Family, Single Parent WWX, Selectively Mute LWJ, Eventual Smut, Light Dom/sub, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, es, LWJ & MM Friendship, Pre-WangXian, Wen Remnants Live, LWJ saves the WÄn Remnants, LWJ's Punishment, Whipping, LWJ Needs a Hug, POV LWJ, Neurodivergent LWJ, Stimming, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Coming of Age)
transmuter by WithLoweredVoices (Not rated, 113k, wangxian, Modern with Magic, Magical Realism, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending)
~*~
12. hello! I've recently got a craving for canon divergence fics where jyl doesn't manage to push wwx out of the way of that sword and dies OR he dies at qiongqi pass and jzx lives
Golden Phoenix by Alineko (G, 34k, WangXian, JYL/JZX, JL & WWX, JC & WWX & JYL, JZX & WWX, JL & OYZZ & LSZ & LJY & WWX, MXY & WWX, WIP, Reincarnation, Reincarnated WWX, Jin WWX, Child WWX, Minor WangXian but when he is older, Protective JYL, JC Gets a Hug, WWX is JL's Brother, Protective Siblings, Sibling Bonding, Cute WWX, Stressed JC, Light Angst, Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Family Fluff, Protective WWX, WWX Shenanigans, Crack Treated Seriously, Golden Core Reveal)
in this place where we donât have a prayer by Cerusee, Mikkeneko (T, 42k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, WWX dies at Qiongqi path, Demonic Cultivation)
To Be Named by Suibian_613 (T, 39k, WangXian, XuanLi, WIP, Canon Divergence, Out of Character, WQ is out of character, Everyone is probably ooc, canonical violence, Canonical Character Death, JYL lives, Somewhat Sentient Burial Mounds, WN and JC Rivalry, Sibling Rivalry)
ius in bello by Lise (T, 2k, JC & JYL & WWX, Canon Divergence, Tearjerker, Sad Ending, Heavy Angst, Grief/Mourning, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Not A Fix-It, POV JC, [Podfic] ius in bello by flamingwell)
ćŸæè«ć (Too Late for Regrets) by liverbiver9 (T, 20k, JYL/OC, WangXian, Time Travel Fix-It, Canon Divergence, JYL-centric, POV JYL, Genderqueer WWX, Trans Male Character, Kid Fic, Child WWX, Fluff and Angst, Family Feels, Found Family, WWX is a Wen, technically, Assassination Attempt(s), WWX Isn't Adopted by the Jiangs, Minor MianQing, No Sunshot Campaign, No Golden Core Transfer, Everybody Lives, mentioned minor character death, Gender Non-Conforming WWX, Trans WWX)
~*~
13. Hi! Thank you for your hard work! I am sending in a request for next In the mood for. Iâm looking for fics that include
A) JinLing getting his parents (either or both) back (either by time-travel or fix-it fic or them coming back to live)
B) JinLing learning about his parents from JC and WWX.
C) LWJ and JC getting along
1 and 2 can be combined. Iâd prefer canon era but okay with modern era fics too. Thank you! @bitemepotter
13A)
Time, Time, Time by skeletonofaplant (G, 44k, wangxian, JYL/JZX, LSZ & WWX, JYL & JL & JZX, LJY & LSZ, Time Travel Fix-It, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Identity Porn, Identity Reveal, Angst, Fluff, Junior Quartet Dynamics, Time Travelling Junior Ensemble, Junior Ensemble Shenanigans, Humor)
â€ïž Tragedy is Not the End by Hobbsy3 (T, 358k, wangxian, Time Travel, Torture, Hurt/Comfort, Golden Core Reveal, Canon Divergence from Qiongqi Pass, Angst with a Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Yunmeng sibling bonding, good dad wwx, good dad lwj, JZX Lives, JYL Lives, Junior Quartet Dynamics)
And They Lived Happily Ever After⊠by Morgana_avalon (G, 51k, WangXian, Zhuiling, Time Travel Fix-It, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Canon Universe, Canon Related, set before the ambush happens at Qiongqi Path, Canon Divergence, Bunnies, Good brother JC, Good JZX, CQL Verse)
13B)
Rotten Work by ShanaStoryteller (Not Rated, 63k, WangXian, WWX & JL, Post-Canon, Protective WWX, Protective JL, Yunmeng Bros Reconciliation, Reluctant Matchmaker JL)
climbing up that coastal shelf by Sour_Idealist (T, 15k, JC & JL & WWX, JC & JL, JC & WWX, JL & LSZ, JL & WWX, Post-Canon, Mutually Unrequited Forgiveness, JC & WWX Reconciliation, Family History, Generational Trauma, Discussion of Canonical Abuse, Awkward Attempts at Communication, mentions of past JC/WQ, Fairy is a good dog)
â€ïž The One-Body Problem by metisket (T, 29k, LJY & WWX, LJY & LSZ, wangxian, possession, cohabitation, The One-Body Problem by SeaNoodle)
đ Grey Area by pearliegloom (M, 31k, wangxian, yiling wei sect au, sect leader WWX, LWJ stays at Burial Mounds, found family, secret marriage, angst, eloping, reconciliation, fix-it) Chapter 15
13C)
Jiang Cheng and Lan Wangji being bros series by JiangChengLotus (Mostly T, 99k, JC & LWJ, wangxian, JC/LXC)
found your writing on my wall by howodd5ever (T, 25k, WangXian, JC & LWJ, JC & WWX, Accidental Baby Acquisition, De-aged WWX, Post-Canon, Getting Together, Referenced Child Neglect, discussion of parental loss, child food insecurity, Case Fic, kind of, Nightmares)
Orchids in Lotus Pier by Vamillepudding (G, 21k, wangxian, canon divergence, romantic comedy, pining, protective JC, friends to lovers, misunderstandings)
~*~
14. Hi, you wouldn't happen to know of any fics where lan wangji defends wei wuxian. The persons he's defending wwx against can be anyone, but preferably an angry lan wangji rant towards jiang cheng or lan qiren/lanxinchen would be most interesting to me. Many thanks! @palmnix
~*~
15. In the mood for fic: I wonder if there is some fic with amnesiac Lan Zhan. It could be that by some spell or something Lan Zhan loses his memory (temporary or otherwise). I feel like there is a lot of amnesiac Wei Wuxian but I haven't found any with Lan Zhanlike that. Also please no modern au. Thank you.
Unavoidable by diamondbruise (T, 18k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Amnesia, Jealousy, lwj just is like that idk what to tell you, Misunderstandings, Falling In Love, Again, Happy Ending, itâs that thing where theyâre married but lwj canât remember wwx and they meet again)
These Two Most Powerful by stiltonbasket (G, 4k, wangxian, LXC & LWJ, Married Life, Family Feels, Parenthood, Temporary Amnesia, Time Travel, itâs amnesia but it feels like time travel to LWJ, wangxian have more babies, and they are the cutest buns, not your average amnesia fic? thereâs no drama here tbh, just soft husbands carrying on with fatherhood, And loving each other, Mild Angst, Happy Ending)
Forget Me Not by Vamillepudding (T, 10k, wangxian, post-canon, temporary amnesia, romantic comedy, misunderstandings, protective JC, light angst) features both Wei Ying & Lan Zhan getting temporary amnesia but thinking they're at two different points in time.
~*~
16. Hey ,ITMF, a modern AU that is slow burn . I know my description is kinda broad and vague, but I'd really like something along those lines
Thank you!
Lovesong of the Square Root of Negative One by honeydrip (lmeden) (M, 55k, WangXian, JC & LWJ, JC & WWX, Modern, Blood and Gore, Elements of Horror, Elements of magical realism, Layered Narratives, A Story Within a Story, POV Multiple, Slow Burn, Not Everyone Dies)
he gets under your skin by Skadiseven (M, 87k, WangXian, XiXian, (sort of), Inspired By While You Were Sleeping (1995), Modern AU, Accidental Engagement, Chicago (City), lan typical communication skills, wangxianâs tendency to self-sacrifice, Christmas, Cats, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, Angst with a Happy Ending)
LégÚreté by perkynurples (T, 65k, WangXian, Modern au, Horse riding, Swords as horses, Crack treated seriously, Friends to Lovers)
Waiting for Spring by thievinghippo (E, 130k, WangXian, Modern AU, MLB AU, Baseball AU, Mutual Pining, Pining while fucking, slight angst, Happy Ending)
other earths and skies by binghecarer (T, 53k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, (but not in the typical way?), Slow Burn, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Canon-Typical Scars and Injuries, Curses, making a deal with a mysterious mountain spirit (?) to help your found family?, there was only one bed and it had narrative significance, (oh my god it had narrative signigicance), Hurt/Comfort)
like wildflowers (we grow) by moonsteps (T, 80k, WangXian, Modern, Teachers, Kid Fic, Single Parents, Slow Burn, Fluff, WWX & WQ are bffs, feelings and cute kids and softness and pining, Getting Together, Friends to Lovers)
The Simplest Way Forward by harriet_vane (E, 70k, WangXian, Modern AU, Accidental Baby Acquisition,Kid Fic, explicit in much much later chapters, green card marriage (but not really), pining for your own husband, endless pining, Slow Burn, Happy Ending, Nothing else bad or traumatic happens to the baby, [Podfic of] The Simplest Way Forward by knight_tracer, a Spanish version of the fic, Turkish translation, Translation into Đ ŃŃŃĐșĐžĐč availabl)
đ Definitely Unreturnable by 3neetee (T, 44k, WangXian, Modern, A/B/O, Omega Verse, Alpha LWJ, Omega WWX, Domestic Fluff, Angst, Adoption, Mutual Pining, Roommates, Slow Burn, Mentions of past child abuse, Eventual Smut, Mating Cycles/In Heat, A lot of hospitals, Slice of Life, Kid Fic)
~*~
17. Hello! For the next itmf I had some requests:
A) I was hoping for some recs in which wwx is sensitive after sex and someone is mean to him, making him cry/emotional
B) wwx going into subdrop, with wangxian being the main couple and the subdrop not tagged
C) some modern au's with wwx having depression but people brushing it off as laziness/not recognizing the signs until it's too late
D) wwx shaking, like, it could be after good/bad sex, being too emotional, being hurt, being cold after losing his core, etc.
For all of these wangxian has to be the main couple preferably but I'm okay with other people joining them (like nmj/nhs/etc) my only limit is Jiang sibs or lxc, thanks! @menimimimeni
17B)
The Damage You Do by stiricide (E, 188k, WIP, WangXian, Modern AU, Dom/Sub, Dark LWJ, Mobster LWJ, Possessive LWJ, Sex Worker WWX, Sugar Baby WWX, WWX adopts LSZ, Dubious Consent, each chapter has sex tag notes on it, BDSM, Sounding, Panic Attacks, Angst with a Happy Ending)
~*~
If you didnât get an answer to your ask here, donât forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what you order!***Your prompt doesnât have to be kink! Fluff, crack, whatever - itâs all good!***
#wangxian#mdzs#wangxian fic recs#i'm in the mood for a fic#the untamed#wangxian fic search#wangxianficfinder#long post
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I'm censoring this URL because the OP is eighteen. Do not seek the post out and do not harass anyone. Teens are often wrong about things. It's fine. It's radfem bullshit but it's fine.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Let me be clear: The idea that t4t was invented by trans women for use betwixt themselves, and that "TME" people "gentrified it," is (a) holy fucking shit racist as fuck and (b)
takes a deep breath
WRONG INCORRECT UNTRUE EASILY VERIFIABLY FALSE
The OP is eighteen. That means that we did not do anything. They were not born when It came about on Craigslist and was being used by all trans people from the very start. I don't think they know what Craigslist is and probably more than half the people reblogging it don't either.
TME people fucking gentrified it? Are you fucking kidding me? Are these people tossing that post back and forth just fully playing pretend in fucking Tarabithia, what world do they live in where this combination of syllables makes sense and doesn't cause them to wither up in shame for even having the thought, much less vocalizing it?
Ohhhh but what really gets me is the assertion this was done because being with "TME" people meant there was a high chance you could be "socially (or even physically) murdered."
No.
No, OP. If you were any kind of trans person in pretty much any time and place before the 2010s, and a relationship with a non-trans person went poorly, there was a very high chance you would be dead. There's no "or even" about it. That is what fucking happened. Your ex didn't go crying to your mutual friends telling them about how you hogged the blankets. Your non-trans ex would proceed to ACTUALLY FOR REAL MURDER you, assuming they even waited for the relationship to go sour and didn't just kill you the second you walked through the door like they were always planning to do.
That's how it was when I was growing up, denied transitioning but longing so achingly to be a girl in spite of the horror and misery that seemed to plague us. So I have a problem with the obsession with sOcIaL mUrDeR that keeps getting tossed around these days, because of how degrading it is not only to how bad things still are with death after death after death, but how it disrespects what we came out of. But to directly act like soooocial murrrrrder was the big scary thing trans women feared back then? That's heinous. That's sickening. The social consequences all trans people were deathly afraid of back then was being outed as trans and then being fucking stabbed within twenty-four hours.
Even in spite of the election and what's coming next, how good we have it would be nigh-incomprehensible to the first trans men and women and non-binary people to be brave enough to advertise themselves as t4t to strangers. Like, I need everyone to understand that. They could not have wrapped their fucking heads around it. It'd be like explaining a circuit board to a Mesopotamian. One could show them a video of the Blue's Clues episode about queer people and it'd just register to them as migraine inducing static.
We're in such a better place than we were. And this is what people do with it.
Make up bullshit reasons to be angry at their siblings and imply they also didn't get murdered for being trans on a regular basis, or that even just trans women cared about an irritating buzzword, even as cishetpatriarchal fascism is empowered and determined to drag us back to the the horrific dark age that scholars refer to as Literally All of Human History Up Until Now.
Amazing.
Why do I even try. Like, with anything. Why do I get out of bed in the morning. I could have stayed in bed all day listening to rain sounds.
Anyway, that's my thoughts on that.
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OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD
BEST. SURPRISE. EVER.
BTW
I LOVE YOU ASMI I LOVE YOU SO MUCH
SOOIGJLCFGOOOOO
R o b e r t d e n e i r o
R O B E R T D E N E I R O
i'm dying. i'm actually dying
Russel T. Davies
Russel T. Davies
ily asmi
i'm laughing bc this is incredibly obvious to ME but that is EXACTLY THE SAME RHYTHM so i am in fact delighted that you knew that
Yes this is true. Twelve is the lesbian and thirteen is idk pansexual or something idk. some sort of extremely niche microlabel i feel. not 'lesbian'
YOU WOULD THINK WOULDN'T YOU but no the master just really is that much of an ego-full person. he chose the name. like every time lord gets to choose their name and he called himself the master. & honestly there is also some sort of BDSM thing going on where the master REALLY LIKES the doctor using their name. and they're also both firmly in 'I Can Fix Him' territory about each other. fucking hell
MISSY MY FUCKING BELOVED ISTG I'M SO MAD THAT THE ONLY MASTER ARC THAT HAD HER BE LIKE FIXING HERSELF WAS WHILE SHE WAS A WOMAN AND THEY HAD THAT CLEAR DELINEATION THEY MADE BTW 'THE MASTER' AND 'MISSY' & I'M JUST. I LOVE HER. YOU FUCKING GOT ME. W H Y
the fucking bigeneration i was READY TO CRY & then they gave me the BEST GIFT OF ALL FUCKING TIME WHOVIANS EVERYWHERE CHEERED ISTFG
i also fucking sobbed but that's not the point the point is it fixed me
i love how little catherine knows about doctor who. every interview they do where david and catherine are together and something factual about the lore comes up david turns to catherine like "đđ" i fucking love it
the QPR is the realest thing ever istFG it's so much stronger than stobin it really is and i'm biased towards stobin bc they're my FIRST PLANTONIC SHIP but omg they knocked it out of the park. the doctor 7 donna. forevermore. in the brains of people who have gone insane
THE FUCKING. KILLS HER. FUCK
HE KILLS HER
TO SAVE HER LIFE
BUT HE STILL KILLS HER
AND HE HAS TO CARRY THAT
FUCKING HELLLLLLLLLLL
this is what the 60th anniversary fixed in me btw. this pain. the cracks r still conveniently there & reopen when i put myself back in time within the canon
why would i do that you ask
obviously
i
must
????
pain
donna
</3.
^see. totally reasonable
the original show had shitty effects and so does the new one and everyone loves it. if u genuinely think the shitty effects of dw are something to overcome u r made aware that u r incorrect. we love our ridiculous procreate ass living bin and obviously plastic mickey. go watch avengers if u want GOOD cgi
this is profoundly accurate & also neutral which is smart bc having not watched the show u would ABSOLUTELY not be able to adequately defend your position to avoid having ppl come up to ubto ""explain" why ur wrong.
that said.
tentoo is the best ending rose tyler could have possibly had it tied in with themes in school reunion & impossible planet & family of blood & also fucking army of ghosts & doomsday & no one can ever change my mind. i fucking love it to fucking pieces u can pry the metacrisis from my cold dead hands
HE'S CALLED TENTOO BC HE'S ALSO TEN IT'S A FUCKING PUN IT'S THE BEST PUN EVER I LOVE IT
NuWho is one word & New Who is two words. Expeditiousness is the friend of all. this is the fandom that uses full-on numbers to refer to versions of a character lke the infamous "you can like 11 better than 10" post lmao u expect us to keep two words we could conpress into one??
THE TARDIS SHOULD ABSOLUTELY IMPLEMENT RIBBONS FOR SEATBELTS IF I EVER GET TO WRITE FOR THE SHOW THAT'S MY FIRST FUCKING SUGGESTION. I'M FUCKING LOVING THAT. also the tardisđđđ©”đđ©”đđđ©”đđ©”đ©”
he does indeed. bridgerton episode
the ninth doctor is sometimes a butch lesbian and sometimes something unknowable & i think it was the unknowable version that was bobbing his head. he fucking rocks also ur absolutely right he has so little rizz. he can get it
truth. nothing more to say
very very queer. nothing more to say
david tennant and catherine tate had SO MUCH FUN during that episode istg i love them so much
the sexuest person is indeed a head. apparently he was supposed to be in a certain story arc & he'd have his head chopped off and that's why he's a head but they couldn't get him. so now we just simply have to assume that he got into a beheading predicament at some point
the Meep's pronoun is the definite article. easy mistake to make. the Meep is always "the Meep". friend shaped because evil subterfuge :,[
.....uh........ idk asmi idk lmao
WAIT OH MY GOD IT'S CASSANDRA YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT CASSANDRA I'M GOING TO EXPLODE THIS IS SO FUCKING FUNNYYYYYY
*strolls into tumblr and falls on my face pretending I haven't been missing for like a month I was out getting the milk hello maggots*
Doctor Who But I've Never Watched It 2.0
For those of you feeling deja vu YES I HAVE MADE POSTS ON DOCTOR WHO BEFORE OKAY but back then I was a young uneducated lad, just a fresh blossom unfucked by tumblr. Now I am surrounded by you lot and by god do y'all love Doctor Who. And I am Educated. My DW virginity is deflowered. All that.
SO HERE WE GO, EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS SHOW I'VE NEVER WATCHED:
The show started in 1963, and then was rebooted in 2005 and the showrunner was... Robert de Neiro? Idk all I know is he gives Pedro Pascal vibes. Like his name. His name is Robert.
There have been 15 Doctors so far. One is a lesbian and it is not Jodie Whittaker, it is actually the 12th doctor.
There's someone called the Master. I don't know what that means, or if it's some kind of BDSM thing, but he has intense sexual tension with the Doctor.
He's also emo and has bleached hair and is kinda babygirl. And is called Missy.
The Doctors all have intense trauma and the 15th Doctor kind of girlbossed it by leaving David Tennant intact when they binary-fissioned.
Donna is a person played by Catherine... Tate? Not Hepburn. And she knows less about Doctor Who than I do. And Donna is in a QPR with the David Doctors (there are two of them).
David Doctor loves Donna very much. And then he kills her. But doesn't kill her. And then they have dinner together with her husband and kid.
The original show had shitty effects. The new show does too, and everyone is happy about this.
Rose is someone the David Doctor is in love with and then she ends up with a human AU of him and he leaves and the fans are very divided and passionate about this.
The human AU is called Tentoo because y'all hate using W's. What the fuck is Tentoo. What is Nuwho. Why isn't it New and Two. Help me.
THERE IS SOMETHING CALLED THE TARDIS, IT IS BIGGER ON THE INSIDE, I HAVE HAD WEIRD DREAMS WHERE IT WAS A FUCKING AUTO-RICKSHAW WITH RIBBONS FOR SEATBELTS, AND IT IS BLUE AND NOT YELLOW BUT IT WAS YELLOW IN MY DREAM. Because of a Drarry fanfic that I misread.
The 15th doctor dances homoerotically with someone during the French Revolution.
The 9th doctor kinda vibes with like his head jiggling idk I've only seen one gif of him.
The 13th doctor keeps forgetting she's in a woman's body.
It is all very gay.
David Tennant's arms are too long.
The sexiest person is a head.
The Meep's pronouns are Meep. Meep is not friend. IF NOT FRIEND THEN WHY FRIEND SHAPED??????
A buttcheek skin talks or something yeah this is all I got.
have at it y'all @robinprinceofchaos @multidimensional-trashcan @wispedvellichor @queermarzipan thanks for the second hand brainrot
*sneaks away under the cover of night* i was never here
#doctor who#asmi doctor who#!!!!!!!!!!#i'm so excited to get to read and respond to ANOTHER ASMI DOCTOR WHO POST#AAAAAAAAA#I LOVE YOU ASMI I LOVE THISSSS
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[Stars are made out of...] Original post: Here
#hatoful boyfriend#iwamine shuu#kawara ryuuji#papaiwa#this totally happened guys i can totally confirmed#im so totally fine about them-đ đ§đ„șđUueuuue.đ§ue đđ„șee eđ„șđ„șđeUEE đ§đ„șđ§EEE đ§đ§#UEEđđ„șđ§Euđ§đ§E Eđđ E EUEđ„șđ„șđUUUUEđđ„șđ§đ„șđ ue đ§eeđđ„șđ§ue đ„șe e eđ đ§đ„șđUueuuue.đ§ue đđ„șee eđ„șđ„șđeUEE đ§đ„șđ§EEE đ§đ§đâđE#I need to bungee jump offa cliff with safety gears on and working properly#I was tryingso hard to draw this without tearing up#also if you know what this is a reference to YOU BETTER BE CRYING WITH ME HERE ïżœïżœïżœ đ§đ„șđUueuuue.đ§ue đđ„șee eđ„șđ„șđeUEE đ§đ„șđ§EEE đ§đ§
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Ever think about Dateâs view on family and how that relates to his character? When Mizuki asks him to define family, he just awkwardly offers that its like being blood related to someone. It leaves a bitter taste in his mouth and Mizukis, but like, he literally had no idea what a real family looks like. Heâs an orphan, a man who grew up with no family and no name, but he doesnât know that yet. He has no memory of his past, no way of knowing if thereâs someone out there waiting for him to come home, if he even had a place to call home. His only frame of reference for a family is Mizuki and her parents. Deep down he knows itâs not right, not loving, but it fits the mold of a nuclear family, man and woman, blood related, so that must be what family is. When heâs asked to take in Mizuki, heâs absolutely clueless because he literally has zero frame of reference for how a child is supposed to be cared for. He puts distance between them because this isnât his place, he doesnât have the right to love this child as his own because he isnât the real dad. Thereâs no place for someone like him in a family. And itâs baffling to him to hear that Mizuki not only loves him, she needs him because he is her family. Date believes heâs a nobody, just a sad, lonely man with no name who absolutely does not deserve this kind of love. But he has it anyway because he chooses it, he makes something that neither he nor Mizuki have ever had before. HES HOME
#aitsf#ai the somnium files#kaname date#mizuki date#just crying about the date family for the millionth time nothing new#also i just had this realization that like date literally had absolutely ZERO clue what he was doing#cuz its not like he remembers his own childhood so he cant use that as a frame of reference for how to treat his own child#and yet despite this he does a much better job than renju and shoko ever did just because he like. actually loves mizuki lol#honestly kinda fucking insane that date was asked to take care of her instead of hitomi#like renju has a choice between his long term friend who hes really close with and who he knows has lots of experience in childcare#versus his silly friend who lives in the smallest apartment with tons of debt and has literally never seen a baby before#then again thats probably why he didnt choose hitomi cuz he probably wanted to keep mizuki separate from the family he actually cares about#also for meme purposes its just like date is like wow renju youre literally the worst dad ever#and renju is like well okay hotshot if you think its so easy then how about you raise my daughter asshole#and date is like okie and does a significantly better job at it#i love kaname date so fucking much you guys will never understand what we have đ©
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just watched the ahsoka finale. oh my god. OH MY GOD.
#ahsoka spoilers#ahsoka series#ahsoka#dave filoni you absolute madman#you brilliant fucking genius#he has singehandedly provided context for everything that ever has and ever will happen in star wars#AND I AM EATING IT UP#BUT ITS SO TRAGIC SO IâM ALSO CRYING#THRAWN IS BACK AND AT THE HELM OF THE EMPIRE???? OH JUST ANOTHER CASUAL GALACTIC WIDE CIVIL WAR THAT'S FINE#MORTIS ARC REFERENCE????? NOT EVEN A REFERENCE LIKE THAT ARC NOW HAS EVEN MORE SIGNIFICANCE AND IS SO IMPORTANT TO SW AS A WHOLE#THE GALAXY BEING CAUGHT IN AN ENDLESS LOOP OF GOOD AND EVIL AND EVERYTHING IS FUCKED BECAUSE OF WHAT WENT DOWN ON MORTIS#DEATH TROOPERS?!?!?!?!?!??! IN MY CANON STAR WARS!!?!?!?!? IT'S MORE LIKELY THAN YOU THINK#AHSOKA'S CHARACTER ARC OVER THIS SEASON WAS SO BEAUTIFUL I LOVE HEEERRRR#ANAKIN WATCHING OVER HER AT THE END???? JUST LIKE HE DID IN ROTJ I'M SOBBING#WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE??????#NO IDEA BUT I'M SURE IT WILL INCLUDE PAAIINNN#I BETTER SEE MORE OF HAYDEN AS ANAKIN I REFUSE TO BELIVE THAT THIS WAS IT#this episode and this series as a whole was so much more heavy than i expected#but i don't know why i didn't see it coming because it's DAVE FUCKING FILONI#also the title of this masterpiece being a narnia reference is killing me#I NEED SEASON TWO. NOW.#give it to me hat man i am in your walls
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Skypiea time part 2
She is a woman..... this is sanji's influence... in whiskey peak his slashes were non gendered
Ace just letting himself get pushed into the river like aight my bad I will take my punishment.... he really is so well mannered (it sounds like I'm talking about a dog)
Conis showing that nami influence.... gfs....
Nami and luffy twins moment look how relieved she is... this whole fight is so theirs...
Also how funny it is that the milk girl gave ace a shirt.... also new pants??? She must think he lost the shirt in the river.... no girl he is just a slut...
Nami: okay â€ïž yay â€ïž
Noland just thinking about where karugara is and if he is alright in his EXECUTION!! SICK AND TWISTED
OMG BOUNDMAN INSPO????
NO ACEEE NOOOOOOOO
THE END OF ACES STORY IS THAT THE COFFE IS NO LONGER BITTER BC THEY SERVE IT WITH MILK AND WHY AM I EMOTIONAL ABOUT IT
#luffy carrying karugaras will to make cricket hear the bell tolling.... god.... but i think i missed why he knows there is a bell#luffy is smart idk if enel mentioned it or he connected the points between the ones cricket had#and right now i get my answers... damn you oda... cricket making sure he sends luffy where he wants to go so now luffy will get him the bel#nami and her waver are literally invincible... i miss it where did it go.... she and the waver and zeus could take down big mom i am seriou#robin watching the ruins be destroyed... if she could get her hands on enel i onow it would be gruesome#i just will never get over how the people just start praying to god to save them and luffy does like that is insane it is too early#did oda had nika in mind already (by old sketches he did) or some concept of it like what the hell chapter 297... and so explicit...#on the second read it really sticks out like damn.... foreshadowing and also a lot of lore starts here its amazing....#HE LITERALLY MAKES IT SUNNY AGAIN LIKE WHAT ARE WE DOING!!! HELLO???!!!#luffy doing like noland did and making god worthless... i mean different instances but the god the shandians praised was very much like ene#omnipresent and vengeful. have to keep him pleased if you dont want to suffer his wrath etc...#and then the god the people pray to save them is luffy (even if they dont know) which does good and asks for nothing in return.... yeah....#cricket was so worried about them omg.... crying and everything knowing they are alright and also made his life worth it like damn#now everyone comes back to life yeah yeah weve all seen it... only luffy knew a good party could end a 400 year territorial feud#you know the fact that netflix could use skypiea to make a insensitive tasteless two state solution reference with this makes my blood boil#<- very tangential but alos very real solution bc i do not trust them to be critical bellemere said stealing is bad. what next#robin learns about ancestdal weapons and says tss... whatever this isnt history jadhiansksns#so roger followed its guide?? so he was looking for the weapons too?? my axis mundis theory makes sense ajdianiskanao#nvm roger took the poneglyph with the history i guess... thats more boring..... roger took the info on the poneglyphs to laugh tale??? okay#THE COOKS ARE THE GIRLS PARENTS.... I THOUGHT IT WAS THE CAPTAINS DAUGHTER!!! OOOOHHH THAT IS EVEN BETTER THEY ENJOYED ACE EATING SO MUCH đ#aokiji is the strongest man in the marine headquarters... so that was a fucking lie....#reading one piece
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i just WOKE UP !!?????!!!!!!
2024.07.15 â dinner date with Ume. âĄ
(hands up if you know where the reference photoâs froooommmmm!!!! >:3 aju nice.)
#art!#you @ed me as if my ume senses werenât already tingling. is this why i kept stirring in my sleep? thereâs a disturbance in the air. and thi#so this is the culprit. how was i supposed to not feel the change in atmosphere ???#âă umemiya.#WHY IS HE SMILING LIKE THAT /pos (compliment) LOOK AT HIS MOUTH HE IS SO KISSABLE ? HIS LIPS ???? BIBI .#AND LOOK AT HIS PRETTY EYES BIBI YOU ALWAYS DO THIS (compliment) LIKE U GIVE HIM HIS LIL DROOPY PUPPY EYES BUT U DO IT IN A WAY WHERE HE#LOOKS SO DREAMY AND SOFT. HIS EYES R SO FUCKING PRETTY. WTF. AND YOU GAVE HIM HIS GLASSES . and what if i canât finish using my tags becaus#because i have EXPLODED. erupted like a volcano. yk star deaths ? thatâs me. i did. iâm no more! goodbye to what remains of zevie#this is my ghost speaking bc i need to finish my tags here. look at the fuckinnnngggg muuuscles bibi drew.#do you see his bulging tricep. god i love men w huge ass triceps sm I LOVE THEN. and look at his bicep. i know all of you see that bicep#vein better than me !! better than me bc iâm not wearing contacts or glasses now. straight up outa bed and im hit with this !! can you belie#believe bibi (affectionate) bc i cannot !! LOOK AT THE VEINS SHE GAVE HIM âŠ. not even just one biceps they are also âŠ.#on his forearms . do yk what it means . yk when his fingers r inside u and they curl. the forearm muscle bulges and u can see the vein#protruding more . bonus if heâs sweaty and the muscle is just glistening. WOW! okay. moving on. LOOK AT HIS BOOBS. U CAN SEE THEM PEEKING#THROUGH THE SHIRT. THATS HOW BIG THEY ARE. see how they bulge bc of how his arm is pressing against it? CRIMINAL. me and all my ume girlies#are on our way to bury on our faces in them. HUGE pillows btw . ok moving on. LETS TALK ABOUT HIS HAIR . his hair. itâs up yeah? but itâs#messy like in his fight with choji. the best hair ever. he is actually so soft and so fluffy. his hair looks like fresh snow . he is#absolutely everything to me !! literally unreal. absolutely ethereal. an angel. WOW.#i want to talk about his shirt. and the fact that he wears white tees at bofurin simply bc someone told#him it looks good. what a cutie. he would wear anything if you asked him sweetly enough. âoh you think iâll look good?â#ANYWAYS HIS SHIRT HERE ⊠THE WAY HIS MUSCLES R LIKE BULGING AGAINST IT IM SO NOT OKAY >: AND NOW IM LOOKING AT HIS NECK#i want to cover him in bites fr . look at how COMFY the area between his neck / shoulder is ??? BURY UR FACE RIGHT THERE.#bibi !!! you never cease to amaze me . bc the sketch had me falling to my knees and crying (see pictures for references) and this finished#one âŠâŠ iâm really not okay (positive) i am really . really not okay!!!#please he looks so cute >: IM TAKING YIU HOME UME . YOURE COMING WITH ME . today i will be the one giving you a piggy back ride#get those pretty arms wrapped around me STAT. bibi iâm sobbing the artist / writer / person that you are (compliment)#i have no idea how iâm gonna recover from this . maybe i should go back to sleep and wake up because no way this is reality. this isnât real#and i am just dreaming right now. bibi never showed me this at all. bibi never drew this at all. itâs not real. go back to sleep zevie ⊠le#letâs just go back to sleep âŠ. donât think about it. donât think about how pretty he is âŠ. oh no no âŠ. yeah letâs get under the covers âŠ#goodnight everybody !!!!!! i say this fully aware that this will (affectionately) haunt me in my sleep for the rest of the week
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It makes me fucking insane how grad programs are like oh did you not go immediately into a masters? Well you better have a good reason why or we might not think you deserve to get one bc you're not committed đ€ omg you didn't cure cancer or solve world inequality before applying? Don't even look in our direction đ€ź it's so great you want to further your education it would really be a shame if we made it as hard as possible đđ
#you read the shit they want and its like okay guess i should kms would that be enough for youđ#also omg i fr need the whole 3 references needed thing explained bc a lot of people do higher education later in life#for one reason or another and i KNOW professors dont remember people past like. a year so đ€š what then#also sorry sorry but stuff like that grinds my gears bc some of us keep our heads down and mind or business#we dont network and the whole 'you should do it for your future' idea leaves such a bad taste in my mouth bc it feels exploitative#but like sorry i suffer from crippling shyness and speaking to my professors made me feel like i should have been shot đ#higher education is so fucked bc they make you jump through so many hoops and like. mf i am still paying you for this#do you want money or not???? like a phd program i get but you pay tuition for a masters.........#anyway. i dont think ill end up bothering bc reading requirements today made me almost cry out of frustration sođđđđ#anyone else feel like everyone else is miles ahead of them and that theyre just flounderingđ woefully underprepared and#underqualified for life and suffering the consequences of being terrified to speak to people in college đ#and also simultaneously numb to and unable to handle rejection đ#like i could find non college courses just for personal betterment but even thinking about it fills me with hashtag shame#and it doesnt help that no matter what i do if it isnt smth exactly in line with my parents thinking theyre so judgy about it đ#and i cant even talk to them about how i feel bc one thing about them they will make me feel sooooo much worse whenđ€Ł#they never react the way id want or expect them to its kind of hilarious like i dont even WANT to talk to them#it would be equivalent to torture for me quite frankly đ idk maybe ill talk through it with my friend#shes at least sort of where im at but shes also like. Doing Shit and Has Plans so.#but i think she gets me a little bit. granted i may cry and i dont really need to do that in front of her#for many reasons đđ i would fr never be able to face her again#anyway. how are your nights going
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The Tattoo (part one)
After scarabias overblot, and seeing what ace and Deuce were willikg to do for you, you were so touched that you decided ro get them tattooed on your body as a small heart and a spade. After that chaos ensues-
I'd you wanna read the while prolouge, then it's here
Ace is oh so smug! What's this? You chose him?? Of course you would! he was your first friend here in twisted wonderland, and he will continue to be your first in everything else... <3
He cant stop bragging about the tattoo, landing him in several collars from an enraged riddle and in frights with equally enraged students, but they can't do anything because you chose him of course! (Keep speaking like that delulu man and you will end up seriously hurt).
He cant stop thinking of the tattoo, loving how it matches his red heart on the eye to a T. As soon as he has enough money he's getting a tattoo of you, he promises himself that. He might ad well also get you a wedding ring right here right now-
He wants you to fill in the heart, as to show you chose him and not that goody two shoes Deuce! Pleaee please please do...
Deuce wants to cry out of happiness. You, the most beautiful and amazing and awesome and loveable and most godlike (crush) friend he could have, you have a tattoo of something referring to him..? He cant believe it. He feels his eyes well up in tears, it's too good to be true.
But he sees the tattoo etched into your skin, and he cant help bur he of so mesmerised with it. He cant stop staring, stop touching, stop csressing the scarfed skin where the ink is. He truly is Lucky isn't He...
He has already called his mom and told her EVERYHTING (well, everything this he has "seen" (delusional boy)) that has happened, and started taking about ehat wedding ring to give you with her. She is so exited her little boy is having such a beautiful relationship, you cant break her heart now can you..
Like Ace, he wants you to fill in the spade, to show that you chose him! Not that meany yucky Ace! He will always be the better option after all- he knows how to take care of you (and how to beat up the others!)
Cater feels awful. He wants to cry, he wants to sob, he wants to go lie in a hole and pass away. He thought you two were such great friends (he wants that friends to lovers arc)... why, why did you only get Ace and Deuce?? Is he not goof enough for you? He will change, he promises! Just please love him, chose him...
He will plant small hints. Oh this cute trend about matching tattoos, oh look this design looks amazing, yada yada yada... he will have a matching tattoo with you, and he will pull any strings to make it happen.
Trey feels off. He knows he isn't too close to you like those two Ace and Deuce, bur he knows you value him. Why did you only chose those two then? You csnt just get half the deck like that, its all or nothing. He tills you this only to have a chance of you getting his symbol on you. He would do anything for it.
He decides to do it himself, to show you how good it would look on you. You would look simply divine with that clover on you, you both know it. Please, please chose him, he will take care of you oh so well...
Riddle is furious. Red on the face, voice pitched up a notch, his hand reaching for his pen. This is unacceptable!! How DARE you marr your beautiful skin with these RULEBREAKERS symbols??!?!? He has to tlak some sense into you.
He expects a 10k word essay on how you were wrong and that you're sorry, along with a tart or two and a matching tattoo with him (that is bigger than both Ace and Deuce's tattoos combined-)
Jack is conflicted. He is in your close circle of friends. He hangs our with you everyday, he takes care of you (unlike those two dumbass cards), why did you chose them over him? It's unfair.
He will be way more protective of you. He has to show you he's the best for you, your one true mate, for life.. it can only be him, no one else. He would scent you as well, just like ruggie.
Ruggie wants to sob right in front of you. Why would you chose someone over him? He knows he isn't the smartest, the richest, bur he sure loves you the most! He will fight tooth and nail for that title!-
He will show it to you, he will show how he is the nest husband for you that there is, the most attentive! He will show you...
He also cannot afford to get you a tattoo, so instead he scents you, be that with his clothes, his cologne, anything that works he sure will do- for you, for your relationship..
Leona feels sick. You, chose someone over him? He is supposed to be your number one, you only.. just like how he is to you! This is unfair, he feels himself ger angrier and angrier the longer he thinks about it. He WILL have you and he for sure will have matching tattoos with your..
He is incredibly protective of you even after the chaos dies down, curling his tail around any of your available limbs and holding his hand right over the tattoo you have of those two dumbasses..
He even gives you some super expensive bracelets out of pure gold just to cover up that damn tattoo (he doesn't wanna hurt you but he still wants to rip that thing off of your body, only he gets to mark you)
I am incredibly sorry for the long wait, I got sick and have been so busy with everything else I couldn't get it done until now, bur I hope you all like the first part of the tattoo!!
Ily all and I wanna especially thank @yanknowalready for their beautiful writing in my comments, i would've made this post sm smaller if it weren't for your amazing ideas!- if anyone has ideas for tattoos for the other charas, ro tell in the comments I would love to hear them! <3
#yandere twst#yandere twisted wonderland#yandere twst art#yandere twisted wonderland art#yandere twisted#yandere twisted art#yandere ace#yandere ace trappola#yandere deuce#yandere deuce spade#yandere cater#yandere cater diamond#yandere trey#yandere trey clover#yandere riddle#yandere riddle rosehearts#yandere jack#yandere jack howl#yandere ruggie#yandere ruggie bucchi#yandere leona#yandere leona kingscholar
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ËâșïœĄËâË20 weeks you say⊠| LN4ËâșïœĄËâË
pairing: lando norris x pregnant!reader y/n (she/her)
genre: social media au, established relationship
warnings: sexual references but not major, mainly fluff with some joking/play fighting yk the vibes
summary: in which your pregnancy announcement is met with an unexpected response
a/n: chose lando coz im obsessed with him atmđđđ also i think this plot suits him better lol. it's pretty short but it fits the plot best imo!
request!!!: Can I request reader and driver, maybe Carlos or lando, announce her pregnancy only for fans to put together that the baby is a result of a race win
my masterlist
fc: various blonde girls from pinterest
instagram ->
yourusername
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yourusername we've been keeping a secret⊠20 weeks and counting đïž
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user1 OH MY GOD
yourmother im crying again y/n!
yourusername you better stop by the time baby's here!
lilyzneimer so happy for you guys đ„č
yourusername tysm angel <3
iamrebeccad amazing news â€ïž
liked by yourusername
alexandrasaintmleux congratulations â€ïž
liked by yourusername
francisca.cgomes ahhh cant wait for baby to be born!
yourusername đ„čđ„čđ„č
user2 all the wags comments!! so cute
carlossainz55 are you sure?
yourusername đđđ yes lando is going to be a father for the 500th time
user3 hahahaha poor lando
charles_leclerc wow sending love to you both! congratulations!
liked by yourusername
oscarpiastri congratulations to my favourite couple!
yourusername thanks osc đ
danielricciardo contrats đ
liked by yourusername
logansargeant wow congratulations guys
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user4 20 weeks you say... đ§
landonorris posted a story
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user5 ahh she's so gorgeous
user6 i can't believe u guys are gonna have a baby omg đ
user7 wowwww
user8 cant wait for baby norris đ„č
lilyzneimer you better be looking after her
landonorris i am!!!
lilyzneimer good.... im watching
landonorris scary
yourmother look after my baby!
landonorris i am!!! why does no one believe me
yourmother she's carrying precious cargo
landonorris oh dont i know it đ
twitter ->
messages ->
instagram ->
landonorris
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landonorris anyway đ€«
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user16 r u telling us to shut up lando đ„șđ„ș
landonorris yes actually y/n is mad at u guys!
user17 NOOOOOOOOOOOO
user18 smh coz u guys r always running ur mouth
user19 what happened? what did u guys do this time đ€
user20 ...worked out when their baby was conceived...
user21 HAHAHAHAHHA
user22 too far i fear
carlossainz55 me personally, i think it's funny
landonorris well...
yourusername shut up both of you
carlossainz55 sorry y/n
oscarpiastri forgive & forget đ
user23 yup i agree with oscar! forgive us y/n
yourusername hmmm.... NO!
user24 HAHAHAHA
user25 hahahah poor y/n!
user26 it was a special race win tbf, we'd all have done the same thing y/n <3
liked by landonorris, yourusername
messages ->
instagram ->
yourusername
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yourusername lil update. we r so ready for baby now
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user27 omg she's so much bigger now
user28 what's the gender??
user29 they havent told us
user30 ur glowing y/n
liked by yourusername
user31 she liked this.. maybe she is forgiving us :)
lilyzneimer miss you in the garage babe
yourusername miss you so much! please come visit soon lol
lilyzneimer omg i willđ„čđ„č
mclaren we cant wait to meet little norris!
liked by yourusername, landonorris
iamrebeccad gorgeous girl
yourusername ily
user32 carlando & landoscar lives on in their wags friendships tbh
oscarpiastri lando is miserable without u, hurry up & have the baby & get back to races
yourusername what do u think im trying to do oscar? đ€š
oscarpiastri yea true. my bad
landonorris i dont like ur tone
oscarpiastri im so sorry
landonorris better
user33 LOLđđ
time skip đ§Ą
landonorris posted a story
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yoursister is everything ok?
landonorris i'll keep you updated, dont worry
yoursister you better
user34 she's sooo cute
user35 i cant wait for her to have the baby ahh
user36 giggling & kicking her feet she's jus a girl fr
lilyzneimer keep me updated please
landonorris đ will add you to the baby update group chat
lilyzneimer please do omg
carlossainz55 dont freak out
landonorris easy for you to say
landonorris
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landonorris first month with our daughter x
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user37 OMG FINALLY NEWS
user38 a girl omg
user39 lando a girl dad!!!
user40 awwww a beautiful daughter from winning in miami
landonorris DONT BRING THIS UP AGAIN
user40 oop-my bad
user41 HAHAHAHA
user42 they deffo nickname her miami
oscarpiastri congratulations đ„
landonorris đ§Ą
lilyzneimer đ„čđ„čđ„čđ„č so gorgeous
liked by landonorris
carlossainz55 congratulations both of you!
landonorris thanks for all ur help đ«Ą
carlossainz55 it's nothing :)
yourusername god i love you đ„č
landonorris i love YOU
yourusername posted a story
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user43 HAHAHAHA
user44 ur not mad at us đ„łđ„łđđđ
user55 this is sooo funny & cute omg i love her
yoursister đđstop it
yourusername hahahaha it is kind of funny tho
lilyzneimer ignoring the caption, u guys are so cute
yourusername đ„čđ„čđ„čđ„čđ„č
landonorris best gift i could ever ask for đ i love you
THE END đ§Ą
#f1 smau#f1#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#f1 fic#smau#lando norris#ln4#ln4 smau#ln4 angst#ln4 x y/n#ln4 one shot#ln4 fluff#ln4 imagine#ln4 fic#ln4 x reader#ln4 x you#lando norris smau#lando norris x you#lando norris x y/n#lando norris fluff#lando norris fanfic#lando norris x reader#lando x you#lando x reader#lando imagine#maddie's smau
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call it quits or call it destiny | h. umemiya.
âź tags ; afab + fem!reader(she/her pronouns, referred to as a girl, gets dressed up by tsubaki and kotoha), reader gets their hair braided (no desc of texture) and puts on makeup, lore heavy reader backstory + personality, deliquent!reader, gap moe, best friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, themes of insecurity, mutual pining,the use of she/her for tsubaki, jealousy, confessions, loss of virginity, creampies / unprotected sex, oral (f!recieving), fingering, 18+
âź wc ; 13.9k (dont. don't say anything)
âź a/n ; me when i completely lose my mind because i have a weekend off. whats wrong with me.
anyways. there's no major triggers for this but be forewarned reader is meant to be very rag-tag deliquent type. she has a strong personality and generally is not feminine. she is like a mangy street cat a bit. also if u want u should listen to easily by bruno major while reading.
âź synopsis ; you've been quietly pining for umemiya for a little over ten years with no plans of confessing.
you did not have a plan for what you would do if umemiya confessed to you first.
Once a day, everyday - Umemiya will come into your store, pause, smile, and confess his love to you before going off on his own. Â
And once a day, everyday, you reject this confession with a soft huff telling him to quit being stupid before shooing him away. Â
It's become a ritual. A fixture in your daily routine that you're not allowed to ignore despite how hard you're trying. Â
He's been doing it for three months, more or less.Â
His reason for confessing everyday? Because heâs waiting on the day you confess back, of course. Which you've refused to do for the last few months and will continue to refuse for as long as youâve got. Â
It's not because you don't like him, alright?Â
You've known Umemiya since middle school and you've liked him for about the same time. One of the core memories of your childhood is the day you met him, crying while sitting on a swing-set, after what felt like the worst day of your life.Â
( On the day you run away from home, you seriously consider not going back. Â
You donât really know how long you sit there. People walk by but most of them move on quickly. Itâs mid-day before anyone bothers to stop and ask you something. Â
 "I've never seen you around before.â A strange looking boy approaches, friendly and unassuming but not entirely cheerful âDid you just move here?" Â
You keep quiet, closing your eyes and hoping your lack of response is enough to push him away. Your hope fizzles out when you hear the swing creak as he sits besides you.Â
"I'm Umemiya Hajime. I live close by." His voice is airy and causal. "I'm sorry you're having a bad day.â Â
"Fuck off," You reply bluntly, frowning. âI donât need sympathy. Leave me the hell alone.â Â
He pauses before pushing himself slightly forward to barely swing. Â
âI couldnât leave you alone while youâre sad,â He voices willfully. "It might make you feel better to talk about it."Â
In disbelief at his response, you finally look up and asses him properly. It doesnât do much to change your initial unfavorable impression. White hair, blue eyes and a little taller than you. Youâre definitely about the same age. All of that to say, thereâs something weird about him that you canât quite place. Â
Despite his manner and way of speaking though, you donât actually think heâs that weak which makes his whole aura even more unnerving to you. His attempt at being non-threatening doesnât work for him. Heâs being a real try-hard about trying to make you comfortableâŠÂ
Either way, heâs got an air about him that puts you on the defensive. Â
 Talking to someone about it had never been much of any option, and somehow it pisses you off that heâs being so brazen about it. Â
Maybe if you tell him about, heâll stop prying into your business. Or maybe youâre just looking for excuses to let off steam.Â
You don't care anymore. You wipe your nose with the back of your sleeve. Â
"I don't live here and I didnât move. I ran away." You reply. Â
He keeps looking at you, curious, inquisitive and sympathetic. Â
"Why?"Â Â Â
"I broke a girls nose." You scowl. The words rise up in your throat like bile. Make you feel cornered. The wounds too fresh. "Itâshe bullied me for years for one. And I never fought back, it was all petty bullshit anyway and I didn't like getting calls home. I didn't care about that but sheâit wasn't for nothing. She was causing trouble for Sensei."Â Â
Umemiya keeps to himself, humming in response to your troubles. Your voice breaks on your next sentence, chest tightening. Â
"It doesn't matter what she does to me butâ" Your hands ball up at your first. Your throat feels thick, eyes suddenly watering as your chest throbs . "Anyway, I couldnât let it go like normal."Â Â
He hums. "So you hit her?"Â
You shake your head, sniffling. "Not at first. Just told her to shut up. Said that she didn't know what she was talking about. She hit me first..." You screw your eyes shut, sighing. "...said she was gonna spread rumors about him just trying to get under my skin and be malicious,â You lean back slightly and look up towards the gray sky. âI punched her after that."Â Â
You realize he's looking at your bloodied knuckles, but he isn't making an expression that you can read easily. You donât remember the last time you spoke to someone like this who wasnât Tsukimori-sensei. Â
"Are you crying because you got in trouble?"Â Â
âWho cares about that?â You sigh âSensei had to put his job on the line and take responsibility for me,â Your brow furrows in frustration. âHeâs the one person I donât want to cause trouble for,â You grip the iron chains of the swing set with a closed fist and finally admit what youâve been avoiding to say out loud. âI donât want him to hate meâŠâ Â
The kid besides you smiles absently at your words. Half-way between listening and recalling something else, it seems like. You canât help but wonder what the hell his deal is. You barely know him but youâre spilling your guts.Â
He speaks after a long while. "I don't think he sees it that way. I think you should try to talk to him about it."Â Â
You make a face, rejecting the idea. "What? No way."Â
Umemiya shrugs, smiling - though it doesn't quite meet his eyes. Â
"He sounds like he cares about you. If he knew your reasons, there's no way he would hold it against you. And itâs important to share your burdens with people who care for you." You look over and see him smiling somberly at the mulch beneath his shoes before returning back to what youâve grown to know as his usual self. "Anyways, I think we should be friends. Tell me your name."Â Â
You sniffle again. What a weird guy. Well you say that butÂ
You still give him your name.Â
"What a pretty name,"Â
When you tell him to shut up again, your new friend Umemiya just laughs. Â
And you find you feel just a little bit lighter.)Â Â
That night, Umemiya walked with you to take the last train and told you to come see him again with good news.Â
You aren't sure what compelled you to follow his advice. Maybe because he was the first person who sat down and listened to you about it other than Sensei himself.Â
Tsukimori-sensei was your school counselor and the only adult in your entire life that seemed to worry about. You didn't have any friends in middle school and you were a scary looking delinquent girl without a mother and a mostly absent father. Â
But Sensei was always incredible gentle to you and incredibly kind. And despite what rumors that girl tried to spread - he was never anything more than an important mentor. Â
It was fucking embarrassing crying in front of him but because you were honest - you got to keep in touch with him. He attended your middle school and high school graduation - supporting you as you started to sort your life out. Became the closest thing you ever really got to a parental figure. Â
Over time, you got close with Umemiya and developed strong loyalty to him. You attended an all-girls middle and high school the next town over - totaling one other friend in all six years of your remaining education. Lack of socialization meant that Umemiya somewhat became the very center of your existence.Â
It was easy to visit him thanks to parental neglect. You sort of melted into his life. Tsubaki once called you his guard dog as a half-joke, but there's some truth to the sentiment. Quick to defend, quick to heel, and always happy to see him. Â
You, like many people, owe Umemiya a lot. His meddling over the course of ten years gave you reason to push forward. He even encouraged you to try and attend school and not give up on living a half-decent life.Â
You've got a never-ending list of short-comings but being with him didn't make you hate yourself. It made you want to be better because you knew Umemiya would accept you for whoever you decided to be. Â
So despite your delinquency, you managed to graduate high school. Post-graduation, you attended a vocational culinary school and became a patisserie before moving to Furin for permanent residency. You opened a bakery and supply bread to Kotoha-chans diner. Â
You made something of your life mostly 'cause of Umemiya. He's not your only friend anymore but he's still your best. Even though you never really pictured things like dating or romance - in some way it only makes sense that it'd be that meddling, kind-hearted idiot that you end up falling for it. Â
Lovesickness aside, you respect Umemiya more than anyone in your personal life. Â
Heâs stuck around with someone like you this long after all. That means a lot to you. Â
Somehow the two of you mesh well despite being totally opposite. Â
You decided as soon as you realized it sometime in high school that you'd keep your feelings a secret for the rest of your life. You had a strong resolve in your beliefs about the whole thing which made it easy. You hid 'em so well even Sakura's stupid accurate romance detector didn't uncover them. Â
When you picture Umemiya's future - it was easy to picture the kind of woman he would end up with. Another kind-hearted idiot like him, a social butterfly. Someone a little softer. Â
In any case it definitely was not you. You didn't need it to be. You've received so much from him already, you never entertained the idea. Plus, Umemiya has dated other people over the years, so in your head there was never any hope to cling onto. Â
For all reasons listed above, a requited romance is at the very bottom of your expectations. Â
That's why you've been in this fucking conundrum. Â
To say it was a complete shock to you when Umemiya openly confessed to you many months ago would be understatement of the goddamn century. Â
He confessed right on the last day of Spring, totally out of the blue.Â
(Itâs a little unusual for Umemiya to call you at this hour. If it were anyone else, youâd be a little upset since youâve gotta be up around four-am to get prepared for the day. Â
Itâs him though so youâre particularly tolerant, yawning as you find Umemiya on a familiar swing-set, still wearing your PJâs. Â
"Why am I out here in the middle of the night with you?"Â Â
Your words lack any real malice as you sit down. Umemiya remains totally quiet. It's unusual for him to not immediately go on a tangent upon seeing you. Â
"Oi. Earth to Hajime." You frown at him. "Did ya get beat up before coming here and scramble your brain? Give me the popsicle before it melts."Â Â
He looks over at you and chuckles as he hands you the bag from the convenience store. You ignore his odd behavior and open up said popsicle before it melts - carefully splitting it down the middle and giving him the bigger side before going to town on your own. He takes it from you but doesn't even bring it up to his mouth. Â
Weird. Â
"Did something... happen? Like seriously happen?" You take a long lick of your iced treat. It's melon flavored, your favorite. "Seeing you frown doesn't feel right. Gives me the heebie-jeebies."Â Â
He cracks a little smile at that. It makes you feel better. He shakes his head. Â
"Mm, nothing happened. I just have something I want to tell you."Â Â
You nod in understanding. "'kay. Take your time."Â Â
He blinks, surprised. Â
"Hm? Aren't you gonna scold me for wasting your time?"Â Â
"Nah. Whatever it is must be serious if it's making you all introspective or whatever. 's fine. Bring me coffee tomorrow and I'll forgive ya."Â Â
His lip twitches up. "I l really like that about you."Â Â
You feel yourself flush and wave a hand at him. "Ahh, shut up."Â Â
He pauses for a second then shakes his head. "Mm. It's more like I like everything about you, actually."Â Â
You twist your face in confusion. "What are you on about now?"Â Â
"That's what I came here to tell you." Umemiya says after a deep breath. He says it so casually you wonder if you're mishearing him - leaning back to look up at the stars. "I really, really like you. I just felt like I had to tell you that"Â Â
You stare at him in disbelief. Â
"Whaâhuh?"Â Â
He doesn't even flinch as he repeats it. Â
"I like you."Â Â
"No the hell you don't."Â Â
He furrows his brow with a light laugh. "I just told you that I do, silly."Â Â
"But that'sâ" You don't say the word impossible. You really want too, but you know exactly how he would react if you did. You simply shake your head. "No, you don't."Â
"I thought you might respond like this so don't worry but how about you?" He shrugs then looks at you intently. "I thought you might like me too."Â Â
Your eyes go wide. Oh fuck. Â
You feel like a deer caught in headlights. You know you should be happy about this, deep down. That'd be the normal response. Â
But you just feel complicated as shit instead. Fuck does he mean? Umemiya.... likes you? There's just no way that's true. Not after all of this time. And how the fuck does he know you like him back when you've been keeping it in?Â
You can't bring yourself to look him in the face and lie. Your heart rises to your throat as you shakily stand to your feet. Â
"Stop...thinking whatever you've been thinking. I'm going home." You reply in complete panic.Â
 The minute you say it, you turn on your heel so you don't have to look at his face. You donât even want to know. Â
And before Umemiya can catch you and try to talk it out, you bolt.Â
What the fuck was that?)Â Â
For the last few months, you've been avoiding the topic of conversation as much as you humanly can. Â
The possibility of Umemiya even just accepting your feelings was already far beyond your imagination, but him returning them? Confessing first? That wasn't even in your realm of possibility. Â
Ever since then, you've been losing your mind trying to force your life and train of thought to go back to normal. Youâve done all of the math on it. Â
Realistically, you can't ignore him. Your lives are so mixed together it'd be impossible unless you went under protection and changed your name which you briefly considered. You thought of turning him down but youâre pretty sure you wouldnât be able to actually do it despite how good you are at keeping it in. Either way, your best option logistically is feigning ignorance and trying to keep the whole thing out of your mind entirely which should've been easy. Â
Tricking yourself into believing the whole thing was a dream? Lightwork. Â
Except. Except. Â
Umemiya just won't give up. Â
He confesses to you again every single day. Worse, he doesn't care whose around to hear him. No one in your friend group seems even the tiniest bit shocked by it which doesn't help the situation. You can't get used to it, can't get used to him being so fucking cheeky as he stops you midway through normal conversation to tell you he loves you. Â
He's persistent to a fault and while you've done well feigning immunity - you can't survive like this. Â
You've graduated to tell him to go away and treating the whole thing like some big joke. Â
But honestly?Â
You're avoiding having a proper conversation about it. Umemiya is especially keen in not letting you forget that. And determined to make you confess. Â
But you're not going to to let him sway you. Â
You've got principles, after all. Â
__Â Â
After you close up shop on Friday, you get dressed to attend a kickback with all of your friends. Â
It's a barbecue technically - commemorating the end of summer. Togame is really into grilling and in their weird domestic partnership, Chouji really enjoys hosting. They've done this once or twice a year ever since they started living together. Â
Once you've finished cleaning up the store, you take the train to Kotoha's place - mistakenly assuming you'd leave as soon as you got there. However you failed to realize that Tsubaki and Kotoha would be getting ready together. Â
You got jumped as soon as you walked through the door - so now you're wearing a different pair of clothes that Tsuabki got for you and waiting for them to finish getting you dressed up so you can leave. Â
Tsuabkino is inches from your face while Kotoha braids your hair. You feel itchy and exposed but with both of them here there's no way you're going to get out of wearing it.Â
"Can we just go?" You grumble, not enjoying the feeling of being poked and prodded. Â
"No," Tsubaki insists, frown making her expression pinch. "You have half an eyelash on. Sit still."Â
"He'll be happy to see you dressed up," Kotoha adds, trying to encourage you. You frown and look down. Â
"Whatever. I don't care about makin' him happy."Â Â
The both of them pause and stare at you until you fold under the pressure - screwing your eyes shut and making you flush. Â
âSuch a blatant lie.â Â
Tsubaki giggles. âRight?â Â
Your face feels hot. "Ahhh, alright already. Shut up."Â Â
"Honest girls are much cuter," Tsubaki coos. You give her a half-assed glare. Â
"Don't you like Hajime? Why're you trying to set me up with him still?" You mumble. You always think theyâd make a perfect pair. Â
"Of course I like him. He's my prince." She smiles at you. âBut itâs a little different to how a certain someone loves him. And well, if you knew the way he looked at youâŠ" Â
You frown, feeling hot all the way up to your ears as you ball your fists up and look down at your lap. "Whatever."Â
"You should stop trying to worm your way out of it," Kotoha adds, much less sweetly. "You know how he is. He couldn't give up on you for ten years like some idiot."Â Â
You blink. "Huh? But ten years would mean -"Â Â
Kotoha braids your hair even tighter making you wince. "I know. You're both stupid like that."Â Â
"Don't be mean, Kotoha-chan. And you, be a little more honest, okay?"Â Â
You sigh deeply.Â
"Ain't like anything is gonna happen either way. I already told you both I'm not accepting his confession,"Â
"Cause you're a huge wuss, yeah we know."Â Â
You elbow Kotoha lightly. Â
"Maybe nothing will," Tsubaki hums mischievously. "But it feels nice to dress up for him, right?" Â
You pretend the thought doesn't make your hear flutter. Â
Tsubaki does you the kindness of laughing lightly before moving on.Â
__Â Â
You arrive to the function an hour later than planned and stick mostly with Kotoha and Tsubaki until half way through the evening. Â
Loosening up with a few drinks, the three of you part ways to catch-up with different people. It's not rare you see them, but it's not often everyones schedules allow them to be in the same place. Â
Lucky for you, Umemiya does you the courtesy of not confessing during the first half of the night before food comes out. Â
(Though you do spit beer in his face after he calls you pretty, which he takes on the chin after cleaning up.)Â Â
After dinner, the function simmers down significantly. People quietly break off into groups and chat to each other into the late night. About that time people split whatever desserts they brought among guests. Â
You brought cookies and something specifically for Chouji and Togame as thanks for hosting. Â
Towards the end of the night, you find yourself sticking sort of close to Umemiya. Though he's having his own one-on-one conversation with Hiragi while sitting next to you , turned the other way. Â
You busy yourself catching up to Suo, Sakura and Nirei - all of whom you consider yourself close to. Â
Of them, you're the closest to Nirei which always surprises people.Â
The kids a total wimp but he helped you years ago study to graduate so you're a little closer to him than everyone else. He's a great guy though and you hang out alone sometimes too. Â
The conversations gone far left at this point in the evening. Â
Suo leans back against his chair and looks toward Sakura besides him with a lazy smile. Â
"Sakura-chan would make a great wife."Â
You snort listening to them bicker. Sakura grows beet red, throwing an empty beer can at Suo's head that he catches gracefully. Â
"Go die."Â Â
"What? You're good at domestic work and you have a cute side, Isn't that all you need?"Â Â
"Shut up. I'll kill you."Â Â
As Suo breaks out into laughs, Sugishita comes down from the kitchen just in time to catch the argument. He crinkles his nose up. Â
"Oh, Sugishita-kun. 'Sup."Â Â
He nods to your greeting as he leans against the wood railing of the outdoor deck. Â
"What the hell are you two talking about?"Â
'What? You mean about Sakura being a good wife?" Suo asks. Sugishita crinkles his nose.Â
"Don't phrase it so repugnantly but yeah I guess."Â
"We were talking about marriage 'cause I was complaining at work."Â Â
"What's happening at work?"Â
Nirei sighs as he lays it out again to Sugishita after having given the spiel to the three of you once. Â
"One of my superiors at work is a lot older than me and keeps bringing up marriage," Nirei explains woefully. "It's all he talks about. He thinks I'm seeing someone."Â Â
Sugishita frowns. "Eh? What gave him that impression?"Â Â
A good question you hadn't considered asking. Â
You raise your brow at Nirei who laughs awkwardly while he holds your gaze. Â
"You know that picture of us from highschool? When he came to the cafe at your school festival?"Â Â
You smile spitefully, crinkling your nose in faux distaste. "The one wear we wearing those stupid maid costumes?"Â Â
"Yup. That's the one. It's a good picture of us so I keep it on my desk and he saw it so..."Â Â
"You keep a picture of just the two of you on your desk? No wonder he got that impression.â Suo adds. Â
You sense Umemiya suddenly tense which you find weird. He's still talking to Hiragi though when you glance from the corner of your eye. You brush it off. Â
Nirei blushes, elbowing him. Â
"Shut up. I've got group pictures and stuff too. But he just singled out that one cause you know,"Â Â
You nod in understanding before it dawns on you. Your eyes widen. "Oh, shit? Does that old man think you're dating me?"Â Â
Nirei closes his eyes and sighs. "He won't even let me correct him."Â
You pause before breaking out into genuine laughter. Â
"Pfft, that's terrible." You reply sympathetically, taking a sip of your beer before giving a mischievous grin. "Maybe you can make it work for you though, eh? Tell 'em we got hitched forreal and then I'll call you on the phone and nag you to get home for dinner so you can leave earlier."Â Â
Nirei acts like he's touched making you laugh even harder. "You'd do that for me?"Â Â
You give him another toothy grin. "I'll even help you fake some wedding photos. We'll be accomplices." You lean back with a shrug. "You gotta wear the dress though."Â
Sugishita laughs at that. "You being a blushing bride is a little..."Â Â
You snort, shooting him a dirty look "Shut up."Â Â
"Deal. Not a bad plan honestly." Nirei says with a sigh. "Whatever gets me out of the office early."Â Â
"Even if that means being married to me?" You joke. Â
He smiles at you. "Aw, what do you mean? That's the best part."Â Â
You chuckle at him good-natuedly and the conversation quickly moves on. Â
The alcohol is starting to make you dizzy so you eventually tune out as the four of them talk, glancing at Umemiya from the corner of your eye. Â
You swear you catch a glimpse of his jaw ticking. Â
__Â Â
For the rest of the night, Umemiya is off. Â
No one else can tell. You know that because the atmosphere remains light until everyone leaves around two-am. There's no blips or tension, no awkward pauses.Â
But you know Umemiya. He's been real weird all night and it's bugging the shit out of you. Â
It's a well past two now, and you've just left the late night cab you took with him. Umemiya lives close so he's walking you home. Â
He's usually energetic after a get-together like that so his dead silence is weirding you out. You're pretty good at figuring his feelings out but for once you feel totally clueless. Â
It feels as if even the cicadas and crickets have gone to sleep. There's nothing bu the streetlights overhead and soft glow of the moon, coupled with the soft click of your shoes on the pavement. Occasionally, a car will pass by. Â
At one point, it becomes too much. There's still a few minutes until you're home. Â
You stop in the middle of the sidewalk and turn around to look at him. Umemiya pauses, startled as he stops with you, and doesn't smile which only makes your concern worsen. Â
"Oi. What's up with you?"Â Â
"Hm?"Â Â
You cross your arms over your chest. Â
"Don't 'hm' me. You've been in a bad mood few for the last few hours. It's gonna bug me all night if I don't ask, so what's up?"Â Â
He stares at you. Â
"You noticed?"Â Â
"How could I not notice?"Â Â
"I was hiding it pretty well, I thought." He states more than asks, half-smile on his face. Â
"Yeah. But well," You shrug. "I'm always looking at you for better or for worse. So. What's wrong?"Â Â
He stares at you a long time before sighing, running his fingers through his hair. You've never seen him like this. You've seen him pissed off before, seen him mildly irritated - but never this... pouty? It's not like he's pissed. Â
He's quiet, taking a deep breath of cool night air before sliding his hands into his pockets and taking a good look at your face.Â
"Do you know that I like you?"Â Â
Your eyes widen as you blink wildly. Â
This is what he wants to talk about?Â
He pins you down with his stare, hands in his pockets and intense as ever. Â
"Don't even think about bolting this time, okay? I'm asking you seriously. Do you?"Â
Your eyes flicker down the concrete - feeling extremely uncomfortable and suddenly sweaty. You shrug, unsure of what else you could say or do. Â
"Hard not to know." You mumble. "You tell me everyday."Â
"But do you get it?"Â Â
Your frown deepens. Â
"Of course not. How could I possibly get something like that, stupid?"Â Â
He takes a deep breath. "But you like me, don't you?"Â Â
Panic sets in. If you could sink straight into the Earth you would. Â
"...Never said that."Â
He calls your name quietly. "Look at me, at least. Stop running away from me and just look."Â
You know you're being stubborn but you can't help it. You've kept it a secret for ten years and all of a sudden he wants you to tell him you like him? You've held it in for so long already and he's telling you not to run away.What other choice is there? Â
One wrong move move and everything will come crashing down inside of you. You can't even lie about it either. Â
Damn it. Â
"I won't look." Your voice is warbly and it makes you feel so pathetic you could die, tucking your chin petulantly "Don't wanna,"Â Â
Umemiya frowns at you. Â
"If you say you don't like me I'll let it go."Â Â
You remain very quiet and close your eyes tighter. He sighs softly, making your chest hurt. Â
After a minute, you muster up the courage to be dishonest - determined to drop it at all costs. You're slow as you pick your head up. Â
"I don't like you," You repeat slowly, carefully - trying not to stumble the words. "So quit it, alright?"Â Â
He laughs humorlessly and holds your gaze. Â
"That's the first time you've ever actually lied to me. You're terrible at it,"Â
"I'm not lying." You snap. Umemiya smiles somberly when he sees tears on the corners of your eyes. He steps closer to you. You freeze. When his hand reaches cups your cheek, you feel your legs lose all their strength and close your eyes. You're terrified to even look at him, not wanting him to see what you know is obvious on your face. Â
He wipes them as he tilts your face towards him slowly.Â
"Tell me, at least. If you're going to refuse me, don't I deserve to know why? Do you hate the idea of dating me that much?"Â Â
You shake your head. "Stupid. How would anyone hate that?"Â Â
"So I deserve to know why you're turning me down."Â Â
A long moment of silence draws you out of your feelings. You guess that's fair enough. Maybe this way he'll leave you alone - as long you're clear about your reasons. Heâs the earnest type after all. Â
You manage to suck up all your tears and clear your throat enough to give him an explanation.Â
You step back a little from him, putting some distance between you as you stare down at the sidewalk.Â
"You know... I respect ya more than anyone else. You've always been someone I admire. And I uh, owe you a lot. So I only want the very best for you and all." You scratch your neck, taking a deep sigh. "For me... regardless of my feelings, I want you to be with someone who really fits, you know? Well put-together and everything. Someone that suits you better"Â Â
He pauses before frowning.  Â
"Regardless of your feelings? Does that mean you were willingly pushing them aside?" He says distraught. "For how long?"Â Â
You shrug, trying to lighten the conversation. Itâs too devastating otherwise. "About ten years, give or take."Â
The sheer distress in his face makes you want to keep talking, just he doesnât look so disheartened. Like some explanation will clear things up. Â
"It ain't a bad thing, Hajime. You've given me a lot and I'm serious when I say I want the best for you. I love you, if that's what you wanna hear. I'm content just being besides you as your friend." You say with a shrug. "I can be kinda selfish but there's a limit to my greed,yknow."Â Â
He looks like he's in shock.Â
"Wanting someone to love you back isn't greedy or selfish."Â Â
You find you don't have anything to say with that, but hope he drops it for the time being.Â
Umemiya stares at you seriously. It makes your breath hitch meeting his eyes, blue with all the depth in the world. You feel like you can't pull yourself from his gaze. Â
"And there was never a possibility? Not once that I could've liked you? That I wanted to be with you?"Â Â
"It doesn't matter." You say. "And no, it never crossed my mind.."Â Â
"Stop saying it doesn't matter. Of course it matters. Your feelings matter the most so don't toss them aside so easily. Do you really believe that you're not right for me?"Â Â
You arenât sure how to answer him. Â
"You think you're not good enough for me." He says with some realization more than asks. Â
It's the first time you see his face change. When you look up, he looks well and truly angry. The whole thing is confusing. Â
"I'm sorry," You say. Itâs such a timid thing to say but you donât know how else to fix. Â
"It's notâI just don't like hearing you talk about yourself like that. I don't like hearing someone I love get spoken about like that.âÂ
You ignore the sentiment again and wait in the quiet. You always thought this would be an easier conversation to have but it hurts. Â
He sighs a bit, getting closer to you again. Heâs less upset than before but thereâs something else in his expression. Â
"You wanted to know why I was upset earlier right? It's because of you and Nirei-kun." He admits. Â
"What about him?"Â Â
"You talked about marrying him so casually. I overheard and it bothered me all night."Â Â
Your eyes go wide. Â
"Iâit wasn't serious."Â Â
"I know that. I never thought I was that childish either but you being married to someone else as a joke." He laughs humorlessly. "I really hated it. Thatâs why I asked if you know how much I like you."Â Â
You feel frozen in place by his admission.Â
Umemiya steps towards you faster than you can muster up a counter for why he shouldnât bother. Â
His arms around you feel sudden. His grip on you is so tight, like you could slip through his arms all at once if he loosens it. He smells like cologne and beer and summer but it's not unpleasant. He rests his chin on your head and lets out a deep breath. Â
Your chest is throbbing for different reasons now. Shit. Shit, shit, shit. Â
"If you won't be greedy, then you should at least let me be." He lets out a long, tense breath "At least let me have what I want."Â
You're stuck. Your mouth moves faster than your brain. Â
"Why me? And why now?"Â Â
Umemiya pulls away to stare down at you. You can't bring yourself to turn away from him.Â
"It was always you. I felt guilty... for wanting to you that way when you were a precious friend. Wanting to treat you delicately when you were strong and proud." He admits. Hearing him say that out loud embarrasses you to no end, âBut it was those things that made me love you. Strong yet clumsy. Prideful yet honest. Awkward yet trying to be gentle. Loyal. And always considerate of everyone. Of me, when I was taking care of everyone else."Â Â
Your stomach feels like it's going to erupt. You're losing your resolve faster than you know how to mend it. Â
"Stop saying stuff like that."Â Â
Umemiya holds you tighter and shakes his head. "No. How else will I get you to change your mind?"Â Â
"I won't change my mind." You say stubbornly. Â
"I love you." He repeats. Â
You squirm. Â
"Stop it,"Â Â
"I want to be with you. I want to kiss you. I want to hold you. I want to stay by your side forever. I want to do things with you and make you feel good. I want to make you smile. I want to grow old with you."Â
Your hearts fluttering. Fuck. Â
"Idiot. What are you saying? Let me go."Â Â
"It has to be you for me. I won't have anyone else no matter what you think. The person I love is you. I love you."Â Â
"Hajime." Your voice is shaking.Â
His drops down to a whisper. Â
âI canât change how you think of yourself overnight but I can tell you that thereâs no point in trying to push me away. Whether or not you accept me, weâll never stop being side by side - so please stop fighting it.â Â
You put your hands on his chest, trying to push him away. âStop it,âÂ
"Please tell me it's okay to love you how I want too," He says, soft and doting while he crushes you in his arms. "And please love me in return."Â Â
You put your hands up to your misty eyes wanting to wipe them away as he melts through the rest of your resolve like it's nothing. It's hard not to be moved. You've been pretending for ten long years that you don't love him at all and he's declaring his love for you like it's the easiest, most sensible and sane thing in the world. Â
A kind-hearted, willful, meddling idiot. How you are you supposed to push him away when he's holding you this tight? Â
"Shit," You voice, huffing as your voice shakes. "Donât be stupid, alright? If youâre so insistent, I wont let you back out if you meet someone else."Â Â
He laughs wetly. Â
"I already tried meeting other people, but it's still you. Always was."Â Â
He smiles above you. 6'2 with watery eyes with the look of pure relief like it's the best news he's ever heard in his life. It's too much for you. Your heart is racing so fast you wonder if you're gonna die. Â
"Can I kiss you?" He asks. Â
Your eyes go wide as you look away, not wanting to look too eager. "That's..."Â Â
He makes another puppy-dog kinda face. "Please?"Â Â
You're embarrassed by how easy it makes you give in. "...Do whatever you want."Â Â
He laughs bright and warm as his hands slide up to cup your cheeks and kiss you with all the passion he can muster. It's intense, almost suffocating the way he slots his lips against yours and breathes you in. He doesn't let you up from it, doesn't part from you for a second even when he pulls away - noses brushing and stealing the air from your lungs. Â
It's your stupid first kiss and it's perfect - so perfect you wonder if you're going to wake up in a dream. He kisses you hard and makes you stand on your toes to chase his lips when he pulls back. Elated. Ecstatic when you grasp the front of his shirt and keep kissing him when he stops.Â
He pauses before littering your whole face with pecks even as you weakly protest, unable to stop frowning but feeling the happiest you've ever been. Â
There's so much longing in between you, you feel like you could die. You feel helpless.  Â
"Can I come home with you?" He asks, once he stops - only holding your hand a short distance away. "I want more time together."Â
You feel your skin burn hot as you nod, all while trying not to read too much into it.Â
"Yeah."Â Â
__Â
You barely get to lock your door behind you before Umemiya crowds you in the door way. Â
His arms circle around your waist, chin resting against your shoulder.. Broad chest against your back, you try not to flounder as his warm voice caresses your ear. Â
You're going to die young if he keeps this up.  Â
"I love you,"Â Â
You flush. "Enough already. And let me go so I can wash up."Â Â
"Do you need to sleep early? Thought you were closed tomorrow. Wanted to talk a little longer."Â Â
You pause. Â
"...Sleep?"Â
"Hm?"Â Â
You both freeze as the miscommunication dawns at the same time. You try to pull away from him as soon as you realize, skin burning hot. You're quick but Umemiya is quicker. Â
"Hajime." You say gravely. "If you don't let me go, I'm gonna kill you."Â Â
"No way," He laughs as you attempt to wriggle out of his grasp. "Is that why you let me in? Were you expecting something?" Â
"Shut up! Don't say anything, I swear I'll â"Â Â
"Don't be like that, baby. I'm not making fun of you. Hey, turn around. Look at me."Â Â
You're upset but you think the reason is more embarrassing then the feeling. Â
"Don't wanna,"Â Â
Umemiya laughs as he gently turns you around to face him. In your utter mortification, you can barely bring yourself to meet his gaze. Â
"Stop staring."Â Â
He doesn't. Â
"Do you normally invite guys in just 'cause they ask?"Â Â
"Whaâno! It's because it's you, stupid!"Â Â
He smiles in satisfaction. Â
"You shouldn't say yes so easily even if it is me. What if I took advantage of you?"Â Â
You think he's just being smug for the sake of it, which is pissing you off. You grab him by the front of his shirt. Â
"Fuck off. Maybe there's a reason I said yes."Â Â
He pauses before his eyes widen. You push your hand against his mouth before he blurt anything else out but he's quick to pry your hand away. Â
"Don't say it." You hiss. Â
"I was planning on taking my time. I cherish you and I want to make sure you know that. I'm just a little surprised youâre moving so quick when you were telling me not too long ago."Â Â
You can feel the tips of your ears growing hot, feeling even more self-conscious. "Whatever. If we're just going to sleep I still need to wash up."Â Â
He keeps his arms behind your back so you canât move. Â
"Hey. Didn't say that. It's not like I don't want to do it with you. Just don't want you to regret anything."Â Â
You give him an flat look. "I was prepared to give you my virginity and you're worrying about that. Unless you're planning on backing out, there's no way I would."Â Â
"Yourâ" His jaw drops a little. Â
You drop your voice down just a little close as you grab his collar. Â
"If you get it, then hurry up and fuck me. Stupid Hajime."Â Â
He gives you the dopiest smile you've ever seen while your face grows increasingly hot, leaning to in to press a kiss to your lips. He brushes his nose with yours. Laughter from deep in his chest. Â
"Yes, ma'am."Â Â
__Â
Once you give Umemiya permission to have you, you get the feeling that there really is no going back from here. Â
You both know it. The tension in your bedroom is so thick you can barely breathe around it. Â
Umemiya lands gently onto your bed - sitting up as he holds you by your waist and pulls you over to him. You're so aware of his touch it makes your nerves feel they're on fire. You're not a total virgin - at least not enough to be feeling this worked up over someones hands lingering on your waist. Â
But they're Umemiya's handsâHajime's hands, so you can't rationalize your thoughts of out it. His hands are strong and big, a little calloused and rough from the gardening and fighting. You can feel how much he adores you in a gesture so small it makes you concerned for your own heart thinking about how the rest of the night will go. Â
He invites you into his lap gently, so pleased by the way you go to him so willingly. You spread yourself over him with your knees on either side of his thighs. He's big - wide and broad. Â
Your barely hovering over his bulge as you lean your weight onto him. His hand barely brushes underneath your top, just barely touching the skin. Â
You shiver. Â
"Are you really sure this is what you want?" He asks. "I don't mind waiting as long as you need,"Â Â
You give him an bored look. "Not very convincing when you're makin' a face like that,"Â Â
He chuckles nervously. "That bad?"Â Â
You nod before adding a little bashfully. "Dunno if I mind, though."Â Â
He buries his fact against your chest all of a sudden making you jump. Â
"The hell?"Â Â
"You're so cute when you're honest like that," He mumbles into your chest, cheek pressed against your tits. Â
"Jeez, shut up. What're you talking about?"Â Â
Umemiya pulls back and leans forward - enough to breach the inches of space between you. Nose to nose, your eyes meet. A bated breath, you put your hand on his shoulders and work up the nerve to kiss him. Â
It's chaste. Mostly for you to break the ice otherwise you're sure you're gonna pussy out. Â
He smiles at you when you pull away. Â
"See what I mean? So cute," He hums, and leans in again. "Come on. Kiss me again."Â Â
Something about him is different when he tells you to kiss him. It's not smug or cheeky. But it's not casual either. Softness tinges his words, his touch - his whole demeanor screams like he loves you absolutely. It makes your heart rate pick up again, hands shaky as you try not to lose your nerve. Â
He's restraining himself though. How he intense he could be vs how soft and calm he is being. You know Umemiya like the back of your hand so you want him to do what he wants. It's hard to find your voice. Â
"You don't have to.." You cast your eyes down in embarrassment. "âŠhold back with me, either. I'm not some maiden." Â
He smiles at you a little. "You really do know me better than anyone, huh? I was keeping it together pretty well."Â Â
"Look I know Iâm kinda difficultâŠI'm not real good with stuff like this either," You fidget with the collar of his shirt with your free hand. "But once I say yes I donât back out. So don't worry about scaring me off or putting too much pressure on me or whatever. ...'s fine to just do what you feel like. Iâm scared out of my mind but I wouldnât do that to you," Â
âDonât know how long itâll take but Iâll do my best to make you feel secure. Might take some time but weâve got our whole lives.â You flush at the implication. He smiles a little. "Whatever I want seems like a lot to give, though."Â Â
"Well...depending on what, I'm might not be good at it,"Â Â Â
He shakes his head. "I don't want anything like that."Â Â
"What do you want then?"Â Â
"You." He says easily. Your stomach flips. "All of you. I just want to make you feel so good you can't stand it. Want to worship you top to bottom. There's not a single part of you I don't want."Â Â
You flush. "The hell... I meant like a blowjob or some shit."Â Â
He laughs. "I know. And I want that too, another time." He hums, taking a deep breath. "Right now I just want you to feel so good for me. Is that okay?"Â Â
You can't look at him. You can barely stand how bashful you're being, but you can't even play coy. Something in you is bursting at the seams. Â
You love him so much you don't recognize yourself, or your voice, or how you're acting. It makes you sick but you canât do anything but go with it. "Yeah. 's okay, if it's what you want."Â Â
"It is," He says, leaning in. "All I've ever wanted."Â Â
You ignore the latter half of his comment as he finally goes to kiss you again. Â
He pulls your body close to him as you do. Until your chest to chest, arms wrapped around the span of his shoulders as you press your lips together soft and slow. Â
He slides a hand underneath your top, undoing the clasp of your bra. He lets his palm stay on the center of your back while you keep kissing - straps of your bra falling down your shoulder as he splays his fingers to feel more of your skin and hold you. Hugging you close to him, his other arm wraps around your torso. His forearms feels especially strong they way they hold you by the waist. Â
You're so close to him. Kissing him so deep, his tongue sliding against your lips. Something about the kiss is languid but the touch is so hot it makes your skin burn. You feel wrapped up in him, can't even tell whose heartbeat you're hearing.Â
More of your weight ends up in his lap as you feel your knees go weak. Something hard presses against your clothed cunt and you gasp a little into his mouth. Â
"Oh, shit." You mumble in surprise. Umemiya laughs. Â
"You're making me feel good." He hums. Â
Your face heats up. "I barely did anything."Â
"You just being on my lap is more than enough."Â Â
You make a face at him before rubbing yourself over the zipper of his jeans, slow and deliberate trying to get a feel for it. You hear him moan, nearly jumping out of your skin in surprise. Â
The way Umemiya moans is a lot for you to process. Breathy and a little low. It resonates through your whole body like a caress. Â
You make a few more tentative passes over his bulge, just to hear him do it again. Driven by your instinct more than anything, you lean into kiss at his jaw - making use of the limited experience you do have to try and draw more sounds from him. Â
"What're you thinking about?" He asks, still breathless. Maybe amused. Â
"Like the way you sound." You mumble in reply. Â
"I thought I told you I wanted to take care of you, hm?"Â Â
You frown. "So what? I can't touch you at all?"Â Â
He thinks on it. "You can touch me everywhere else and you can have your way with me later, if you want it. I don't wanna cum too fast."Â Â
"I'm just..."Â Â
He shakes his head. "You're underestimating me. I'm still a guy, you know? With a woman I love at that. There's no way I would make it through our first time if I didn't focus on you. Don't pout,"Â Â
Hearing him describe you in such an embarrassing way makes you flush. You roll your eyes half-heartedly. "Fine, whatever."Â Â
He smiles. Â
"Good girl. C'mere. Lay down."Â Â
You decide not to think about how effected the praise makes you as you comply. Â
Umemiya lays you down carefully, making sure you're comfortable before hovering over you. He looks a lot more imposing from this view - the dim lights of your room making his face seem more well-defined. Your nipples harden in arousal, peeking from underneath your shirt as he stares long and hard. Â
"You're so beautiful to me."Â Â
He leans down and presses a hot kiss to your jaw, just underneath your ear before slowly kissing down your neck. Open-mouthed kisses along delicate skin, tongue sliding over every patch he scrapes lightly with his teeth. You fidget underneath him, a dull throbbing between your legs. You try to figure out what to do with your hands but youâre too nervous. Â
He kisses your throat where it's extra sensitive and you bite back and involuntary noise.Â
"Don't hold your voice, please?"Â Â
"It's embarrassing,"Â Â
"It's not," He assures, bumping his forehead to your shoulder lightly. "I want to know what makes you feel good. Let me pay attention to you."Â Â
You frown but nod ultimately. Â
Umemiya isn't the first sexual encounter you've had in your life. You've done other things, but you've never really gone all the way with anyone. All of your other partners were mostly strangers - people mutually interested in using someone else to try and get off. Â
This is the first time anyone has taken this much time with you. A little kissing and groping, sometimes touching your chest. Â
No one's ever touched you like this, though. Â
His hands feel like they're all over your body no matter where they actually end up being. Makes your heartbeat rain drumming on a tin roof. Makes your stomach tingle, a heat in your calves and a prickly feeling on your back. Your whole being drowning with pure anticipation. Â
"Take this off for me." Umemiya mumbles. You nod, feeling absent as you wiggle yourself out of your tight little tee and toss it somewhere. Â
The air shifts again when you're naked. His eyes drink you in, tracing the soft lines and edges of your body. Looking over scars and stretchmarks with pure, blown out wanting that shoots lust straight into your veins. Â
You want him to fuck you so bad it's killing you but the very thought makes you feel so shy you could die. Â
"You're beautiful," Sounds dirty the way he says, makes it spill from his lips like wine tipping over a glasses edge. "Perfect. Every inch of you is so perfect."Â Â
He proves this to you by kissing you again. Running his hands over your skin. Up against curved sides and down against your arms, brushing the back of your biceps and forearms. Â
Infatuation in his touch ruins you. Makes your voice let out. You can't think of anyone whose treated you so preciously in your entire life and you find you don't resent it as much as you should. Â
(You find it feels so good to let someone touch you so kindly. A touch like you're being loved.)Â Â
Nonetheless it's embarrassing. Of course it is. Â
But it's so hard not to feel pulled in when you feel the way he kisses you. Draws a trail with his lips and tongue from jaw to shoulder blade - kissing down your biceps with his hands on your body, taking gentle inhales of your scent. Â
Anticipation makes your stomach tie in knots but finally he relents. Both hands squeeze the soft weight of your chest, palms brushing your hardened nipples. Â
"Fuck."Â Â
He laughs a little, heavy with want. "Yeah? Do you like being touched here?"Â Â
"Mm." Is the best reply you can get out. Â
He brushes against the tips with his fingers in a feather-light gesture, testing the waters before rubbing with a little more pressure. Your body jolts from the stimulation, wetness pooling and dampening your underwear. He leans in and takes one of your nipples into his mouth making another dull wave of lust wash through you. Â
And he makes sure to pay attention to both. It's just like him to be so attentive to some shit like that. Your spine arches as he sucks on your sensitive nipples, letting his tongue flick across them and giving into a sweet friction. You buck your hips up against instinctively, gripping onto the sheets as your sense of restlessness grows. Â
Your voice is whiny to your own ears but you can't calm down to save your life. Â
"You're taking too long," You huff. He laughs lightly, looking up at you from underneath his lashes. Â
"Don't be impatient." He tsks. Â
"It's enough already,"Â
He shakes his head. "Nope. Still got a long ways to go. Promise you'll have me when you're ready for it, so just try and focus on feeling good."Â Â
You make a frustrated sound. "It's embarrassing being the only one feeling good,"Â Â
He pauses before standing up on his knees. He takes his black t-shirt off in one swift go until his torso is bare, and undoes the top button of his pants. He gives you a little glance. "Better?"Â Â
There are too many layers of that to process in the moment it happens. You mumble. "A little,"Â Â
He beams. "Good. Now let me take good care of you,"Â Â
Sliding down lower, he kisses you from sternum to navel. Hands gripping at the softness of your sides, smoothing over the bare skin as he his thumb finds the waistband of your skirt. He glances up at you, silently seeking your permission. You nod back at him, watching him slide the short skirt away from your waist. Â
The sudden air feels cool against your skin. He presses his cheek against your belly, both hands on your hips.. Â
"You're gorgeous. Even more gorgeous than I thought. I feel so lucky being able to touch you when you're this perfect.â He praises endlessly. Â
You cover your face with your arm. Â
"Ugh. Quit it. You're sayin' too much."Â Â
"Seeing you get so shy when I praise you a little is so cute." He trails his lips down further and further - just above your sex before stopping. "You're so cute."Â Â
He sits back, standing up and bending your legs slightly at the knee. You hold the position as you feel him massage your calve. Thumb drawing hard circles in the muscle, slowly working his way up to your knee. He kisses you afterwards trailing the same spot his hands were touching seconds ago before moving onto the other side. Â
There's nothing you can call it short of worship. The nagging feeling that it's undeserved is washed away each time Umemiya holds your gaze. Â
Devotion colors every touch no matter how small. And itâs so obvious, so prominent - it feels outright wrong to deny the fact itâs there.  Â
You think the closest thing you can compare it too is the way Umemiya gardens. A patience as his fingers root through earth and soil, a kindness towards delicate things that makes even hours of work under the sun look beautiful and easy. His expression is what's most uncanny - what makes you you feel so hot.Â
An expression that says he loves doing it from the very bottom of his heart - not even a hint of apathy or complaint. Â
A face that says he loves every long, drawn out motion and actions of repetition all fro the very core of him. Â
Having it directed at making love to you so blatantly makes you more aroused than you know what to do with. You don't know how to let yourself be treated like the most cherished flower in Umemiya's garden - and you aren't so sure how you're meant to get used to it no matter how much it makes you feel...nice. You donât have any other experience. Â
Which is why you're trying to be patient. Trying to be at least temporarily secure in whatever he sees in you that makes him worship every inch of you, memorizing all your ins and outs. Â
Umemiya places hot, wet kisses on your inner thigh before laying himself between your spread legs - breath barely hovering over your sex. Â
By the time he gets there, you feel utterly melted into your sheets. Your mind is hazy, impatient and wanting as strong hands secure your thighs. He's so close. Â
"I wanna eat you out. Is that okay?"Â Â
"If you don't do something soon I'm gonna kill you."Â Â
He laughs warmly. "I'll take that as a yes."Â Â
You pause. Umemiya waits. Â
"I didn't uh," You clear your throat. "Wasn't planning on getting laid so y'know. Haven't shaved in a while."Â Â
"Were you worried that I'd change my mind? I like it for the record. Feels natural." Umemiya says. "It's your body so there's nothing I would dislike about it."Â Â
"You're too much." You reply back in earnest. You cover your face with your arms. "So cheesy."Â Â
"I'm being serious." He says suddenly solemn with how sincere he is.Â
The sudden change is amusing. You pause before breaking into genuine giggles, unable to help yourself. Â
"You're really somethin', yknow that?"Â Â
He's quiet for a long time. Long enough for it to catch your attention, turning your gaze more clearly towards his face. Swiftly, he pushes himself up to catch your mouth in another kiss. It stuns you a bit, very different to all the rest. More teeth and tongue than lip. Â
"I like you," He murmurs, forehead to yours. "How can someone be so cute?"Â Â
"Would you quit embarrassing me and get on with it?"Â
He smiles. "As you wish,"Â Â
Umemiya settles back down between your legs after easing your panties off and putting your feet flat on the bed to give himself more access. You can barely look down at him doing it. His fingers brush the slick hairs back gentle as he uses his thumbs to spread your pussy apart and look at you more intimately. Â
You can feel him. Feel his every breath and movement. He stares at you awestruck. "How is all of you so pretty? Even here it's such a beautiful color."Â Â
"Stop looking so much,"Â Â
He takes a breath, taking in your scent one more time before pressing a kiss to your clit. You make an attempt to squirm away from his grip as his finger dig into your thighs and hold you down. The strength of it knocks the wind out of you, forcing you into place. Umemiya pushes his tongue and gives you a long, tentative lick through the seam of your cunt. Â
Your whole body breaks out into shivers at the sensation. The warm weight of his tongue on your sex makes feels like an electric current through water - your toes curling as he makes the same few passes over and over. He collects your pooling arousal on the tip as he drags upwards and flicks your clit tentatively. You grind against his face instinctually, hips chasing the pleasure. Amused laughter vibrates against your core as you do, mumbling at you to be patient while he's still face deep in it. Â
You let out another pitchy whine before he finally stops teasing. He lays his tongue flat against your clit, cupping it lightly before drawing it around experimentally. He watches carefully as he plays around with pressure and angles - trying to see what makes you react the most. You can feel how closely he's watching you.Â
You cover your mouth with your hand when he does find it, your voice breaking off as he licks carefully right where you need. He smiles into your cunt as he toys with your with the sensitive bundle of nerves, pleased by the change in your reactions. The obvious pleasure he's making you feel. Â
Something blooms into your chest. You've neverâÂ
"You'reâ" You close your eyes, hands tangling in the sheets as you break out into a fever. "Ngh, never had someone l-lick me,"Â Â
He must've heard you because he seems to laser in his focus the minute you say it. He's lapping at your clit so deep, licking precisely and holding you with nose against your bush. Â
You reach down tentatively, pushing back the hair falling in his face and he gives you a look so lovesick you want to run away. The pressure changes gradually, more intensely. Â
It feels better somehow. Makes you feel restless. Your whole body curls in tight with want at the sensation of it, the lower expanse of your belly tensed. You're shaking as you drift closer to the edge, arousal upped by the wet sound of him sucking your clit. Â
"Hajime," You warn, spine starting to arch as you helplessly try to pull away from the intense sensation. It's not familiar to your body, so much so your mind can barely make sense of what's happening to it, "Cummingâc-cumming!"Â Â
Something in you goes undone as Umemiya keeps pace during your orgasm. All the tension inside of you suddenly comes loose - specks of white matter behind closed lids as you screw your eyes shut. Your back curves up into arch, your hips trembling, your insides pulsing. It comes running into you, crashing into your body as waves of pleasure drown out the noise in your head. He eats you out until you feel borderline hysterical. Â
You feel melted and reshaped by him - yanking him off when he continues to be insistent after you're too oversensitive. He laughs when you pull him away, resting against your thigh as you take worn out heaving breaths. Â
He kisses the inside of your knee as you calm down, bright smile on his features - painted pink with a slight flush. "You came. I'm so happy."Â Â
You look at him in shock. "You're a scary guy."Â Â
He pushes up to kiss your temple, voice soft. "Did I scare you?"Â Â
Your stomach flutters, tucking your chin. "You were intense, but I didn't... hate it or anything."Â Â
"Yeah?" He grins, pressing a few kisses to your cheek and face before whispering against your ear. "Then, is it okay to go farther?"Â Â
You nod silently. Umemiya smiles. Â
He stands up on his knees, pushing his hair back as your eyes are drawn to his pants. You reach out for the waistband of his pants unthinkingly, hooking your finger into it. "Isn't it stuffy?"Â Â
He blinks, frozen before rubbing a hand across his face. "Ah a bit, but it's fine."Â Â
"Take 'em off. Please?"Â Â
Umemiya looks unusually distressed by the request, but follows through without another word. You watch him undress - revealing the tight black fabric of his boxer briefs snug against his waist. Your eyes go wide as you see the outline of his cock - head still half hazy. You voice your unfiltered reaction. Â
"Your dick is so big,"Â Â
He laughs breathlessly. "Are you trying to stir me up? What's with you?" He pauses to lay down besides you. You turn to lay on your side and face him a little better. "You're being cute. I'm not used to seeing you so docile."Â Â
"Shaddup," You reply half-heartedly. Your body is still on fire but it knocked the wind of you to cum once already. "Your fault."Â Â
He grins, a hint of smugness as he laughs. "That's true."Â Â
"You gonna fuck me?"Â Â
"Mm, yeah. Gotta open you up first or it'll hurt."Â Â
"I've put stuff in before. Toys. Should be fine."Â Â Â
"Still wanna play it safe. It's your precious first time after all."Â Â
You make a face before pulling him into you, hugging him tight as your whole body breaks out in a shameful flush. "Then hurry up and do it already."Â Â
His arms slide underneath where your laying, holding you to him as he hikes one of your legs up. He slides his free hand in over your leg - his forearm holding your thigh. You press your face to his neck and shoulder - hiding your expression. "Guess I should huh? You were always impatient,"Â Â
You can barely tell him to shut up, the way your body waits for it. A warbled little noise leaves your mouth as he slides his middle finger through the sticky folds of your cunt - careful as it catches on your hole. Wet and so aroused, the first finger he puts in goes in completely smoothly with no real effortÂ
Umemiya speaks low and soft as he holds you. "I don't know if I can get used to seeing you like this. I'm glad no one else but me ever wil Youâre really all I think about lately," He catches the lobe of your ear between his teeth gently. Your head spins. "People misunderstand you because you're prickly, you know? For a long time, only I knew what it felt like to be liked by you. I liked that,"Â Â
"Why are youâmmgh,"Â
He slides another finger in carefully after the first one slides inside of you with no resistance. His voice is so hot against your skin, the low bass of it in your skull as he speaks so close to your ear. Â
"Don't get me wrong I'm happy seeing you with so many people surrounding you. But I was a little sad too. And it kept getting worse over the years until I couldnât ignore it. I couldnât figure out why for a long time and then it clicked,â Umemiya explains. You realize half way delirious this is his real confession. God, youâre gonna kill him. âSuddenly it was all I thought about. I wanted to be special to you. I wanted to monopolize you. It was my first time having thoughts like that,â Â
Another finger slides into you easily. Umemiyas fingers are so much bigger than yours. Thicker than they are long. The stretch is enough to make you gasp. Â
âHajimeââÂ
He curls them up, careful until he finds the spot heâs looking for. Your body reacts, another sensation of pressure as his middle finger rubs tenderly against your gspot. You weakly try to wiggle away as he holds you firm. Â
âI felt a little guilty, too. Youâre my very best friend. Youâre independent and diligent. Tough. But you know, when I saw you for those few months - all I could think about was how much I wanted to spoil you,â He whispers. Something in your body shifts the way touches you. Pushes in further and further - stretching until itâs easy for him to be inside. âSomehow everything I liked about you became so cute I couldnât stand it. I couldnât help but want to dote on you over every little thing even though I knew better than anyone you didnât need something like that.â Â
Your eyes well up but not necessarily from emotion. Totally overwhelmed. You donât feel like youâre gonna cum but thereâs something else thatâs waiting and each time he thrusts his fingers into you it comes a little closer. Your voice is shaking. Â
âItâfuck, quit talking. Somethings gonnaââ Â
His smile grows a little. Itâs the first time it looks so hungry. Â
âI was happy in general when I realized you liked me too. Even when you were being stubborn, I liked the way you couldnât turn me away. I liked how happy you looked talking to me as usual as if that alone was something so precious,â He hums, so focused and precise as he stretches you open on a third finger but never once losing his train of thought. Like saying all of these comes to him so easily it doesnât matter. âI didnât want to corner you. But it felt like I couldnât rest until you were mine completely. Which is why Iâm being so unfair to you. Why Iâm so persistent. âÂ
Your voice breaks on a whine. âItâs gonna come outââ Â
âYou make a pretty face when your heads filled with nothing but me. I donât think itâs bad to wanna stay that way,â He hums, almost conversational as he presses a kiss to your skin. âGo on. Let go,â Â
Something hot sprays between your legs as Umemiya fucks you open on all three of his fingers. Â
A rush of warm liquid squirts onto your sheets as your legs shake wearily. Umemiya marvels at the mess. Your hands curl into fists, nails digging in your palms as he finally pulls them out - leaving you stretched, almost gaping. Â
You lay limp in soaked sheets as you pull away from Umemiya with a very weak glare. Â
Heâs smiling at you, dopey and lovesick. Â
âToo much?â Â
Angrily, you smack at his bare chest over and over, trying to recover your pride. Â
âYouâre insane. Whatâs,â You swallow thickly. âWhatâs with you.â Â
He shrugs. Wordless, he flips you onto your back again before hovering over top of you. Pressing his forehead to yours, he brushes your noses together and plants a tentative peck on your lips as if trying to gauge whether or not youâre upset. He melts when you kiss him back, smiling happily. Â
âWere you like this with your other girlfriends? No wonder they broke up with you,â Â
He laughs. âMm, no? I was more of a gentleman.â Â
You break out into another exhausted fit of laughter. Â
âPfft, yeah? Guess Iâm pretty special,âÂ
âYeah. You are.â He kisses you again. âWanna keep going or are you too tired? I donât mind if we sleep.â Â
âStupid. I said it already didnât I? Hurry up and fuck me.â Â
âOkay, okay. Let me go get the condom from my wallet,â Â
You wrap your legs around his waist and stare up at him plainly as he tries to move, keeping him pinned in place. Youâre frowning, brows furrowed with a hard glare. He stares at you. Â
âDid you want something else? Water?â Â
âWant you to fuck me,â You restate, arms reaching up to circle around his neck. âJust do it already.âÂ
He pulls back to look at you seriously. Â
âDo you know what youâre asking?â Â
You flush. âOf course I do. Stupid. Are you trying to get me to say it out loud?â Â
âI might think Iâm deluding myself otherwise.â Â
You sigh, looking at him flatly as you try to tamp down the part of you thatâs screaming to be more tactful. Â
âDonât bother with the condom, a-alright? Or pulling out,â Â
He looks like heâs experiencing the shock of his life. âButâŠâÂ
âStop being dumb or Iâm never gonna have sex with you again.â Â
He nods suddenly solemn. âFine. But,â Â
You give him another look that silences him. He sighs again, getting the message before kissing your cheek and pull back to sit up on his knees between your legs. Pulling his briefs down, his cock springs free. It looks a lot bigger than you saw underneath the fabric, weighed down from itâs own weight even though it stands up stiff. He opened you up with three but you wonder if itâll be enough not to stretch you open. Â
You reach your hand out to touch it tentatively, feeling itâs weight and heft. He clears his throat but seems content to let you. The palms of your hands cup the shaft, feeling all the veins pulse. The tip is sticky with precum. You pull your hand away, another sudden wave of self consciousness overwhelming you. Â
Umemiya hovers over you again, placing he length of his cock against your pussy. You shift a little feeling it slide against you, hard and hot. Â
âGonna put it in now, okay?â Â
Nodding, you put your legs up. You take a deep breath when the head pushes in, letting out an involuntary noise. You feel well-stretched but the thickness of his cock is still enough to make you feel it in your legs. Umemiya is focused above you, barely sliding the tip through your folds as you open up around him. The air feels punched out of your lungs on just the first inch. Â
His face is strained is he holds his hips steady, leaning down to tap your foreheads together. âFeeling okay?â Â
âMm,â You nod, wrapping your arms around his neck. âFine. Feels different.â Â
âDifferent?â Â
âYours is bigger than all the stuff I own,â You explain. âFeels hotter. Harder, too.â Â
You feel his cock twitch inside of you suddenly, shocking you. He smiles sheepishly. Â
âGonna push in a little more, okay?â Â
You nod, watching as Umemiya so slowly presses his cock into you further. Enough that it doesnât hurt when you take him, as much as it just feels like something is inside of you. You feel a warm sense of satisfaction at how full you feel. You feel like him like heâs in your stomach, taking up so much space. After a while of pushing, stopping, and going again - he finally bottoms out. Â
âYou feel incredible,â He murmurs, half-smile on his face. Your stomach flutters. âItâs hard not to cum right away. Feels so good inside of you. I love you.â Â
You feel yourself twitch, frowning at the expression of delight Umemiya has. You put your hand against his fact to keep him away but he kisses your palm and moves it. Bottomed out, he grasps both hands and holds them - pinning them to the bed as you watch him wide-eyed. Â
âThink youâre used to it?â He hums, clasping your fingers together. âIs it okay if I move?â Â
You feel so damn bashful. âItâs okay.âÂ
He kisses your forehead. âIâll go slow.âÂ
As promised, Umemiya pulls out carefully before pushing back into you. Youâre so wet that it slides in without any real friction. It takes a few thrusts of him going slowly for your body to get adjusted to the sensation. After a few motions, though - it starts to feel different. Â
Starts to feel good. Really, really good. Â
âOh,â Your eyes flutter open. âShit. You c-can go faster.â  Â
âYeah?â Â
You nod, trying not to seem too eager.Â
When Umemiya picks up pace, you feel your the whole lower half of your body weaken all over again. Something in your legs, your spine go soft against the bed underneath, a sudden unusual arousal swelling. Somewhere in deeper as he cocks thrusts against your gspot, knocking against it with more force than before. The change in pace coupled with the visual of Umemiya over you, face drawn together in focus as he fucks you is too much. Split open on his cock, you can hear how wet you are each time he moves. Â
âFeelsâŠâ Your words come up empty. ââs so much.âÂ
âYeah? Is it too much for you, baby?â Â
You shake your head as your thoughts get increasingly cloudy. Itâs like thereâs nothing else your body can focus on. The way his cock drags against your sensitive, silken walls. The feeling of being full to empty and then full all over again. The way your pussy gets so much wetter each time he moves, sloppy and sucking him in so tight. You can feel your body want for him. Â
Umemiya lets go of your hands, sliding one between your bodies. Palm resting on your sex, he lets his brush against your clit. The difference it makes is significant, makes your eyes go wide. He smiles a little, hair falling in his face as he pushes it up with his free hand. Â
âThatâs it,â He hums, contented to keep at it like this. âFeels good, right? Your holding onto me so tightly itâs hard for me to pull out even though youâre so wet.â Â
You make a whiny noise and wonder if other peoples first times feel this good or if youâre just outrageously lucky. You decide on the latter he fucks you faster and matches his thrusts with the movement of his fingers. Youâre warm all over - skin scorching as your hands find his biceps and shoulders to cling onto. Â
Your voice is so whiny when you call out for him âYouâre so deep, ngh.â Â
He laughs, deep and raspy. âYeah? Tell me what youâre feeling,â Â
âIt feels good when youâre in me.â You reply drunkenly. âWant it faster. Please,â Â
He complies with your request almost immediately. You cry out loud, physically incapable of holding the sound in as he gets to fucking you faster and harder. Your pussy is throbbing. Senselessly horny, you pull Umemiya closer to you as he fucks you and smash your lips together. You feel so good, so thoroughly fucked and completely out of it. Heâs in you but you want him even closer, want the scent of his skin to mark you. Â
A second time your body builds up to that familiar feeling but itâs so much farther inside. An orgasm pulled right from your core. Stomach tied in knots as Umemiya fucks you hard, you wrap your legs around his waist and take him.Â
âThatâs it. Youâre so good. Cum on my cock, sweet girl. Let me feel itâ He murmurs against your skin, holding you close. âYouâre making me feel so good. So cute. Go ahead, itâs okay. Let me see how good Iâm making you feel.â Â
Pliant to his request, you hold onto Umemiya for dear life as your body gives into second orgasm. Your nails dig into his biceps as the built up arousal gives way pleasure - and you cum hard with his cock sheathed all the way inside of you. All the wind gets stolen from your lungs as you press forward with another kiss, your whole body trembling violently as you let go. Â
Umemiya sweet talks you through without letting go once, only stopping to take a pause when youâve fully ridden out your high. Â
You stare up at him in a daze as he takes a breather to kiss you, still hard as heâs bottomed out inside of you. Â
âYou gonna cum soon?â Â
âMm,â He nods. âYeah Iâm close. If I move, I will.â Â
ââs okay to cum in me,â Â
Umemiya laughs warmly. âIâm already about too. Youâre not helping,â Â
You smile a bit as you hug him close to you and tell him again that itâs fine. Before long, he holds you too, whispering the same three words into your neck as he finally lets it out. Itâs a weird feeling, thick white ropes of seed spilling into the deepest parts of you. Â
You donât really hate it, though. Â
âI love you,â Umemiya repeats. Tired you donât try to fight yourself. Â
âLove you too,â Â
__Â
The next morning, youâre stirred away by the sound of your front door unlocking and the sound of Kotohaâs voice echoing through your apartment. Â
Youâre still half-way asleep, so it barely dawns on you that anything is off. Not cognizant enough to think twice, your body tries to go back to sleep. Â
Or it does until you hear a very loud shout coming from your kitchen that wakes you up with a start. Â
âNo fucking way,âïżœïżœÂ
You sit up suddenly, hearing faint conversation before the sound of steps barreling towards your door. You just barely manage to pull the sheets up over your chest before she comes storming through the door of your bedroom. Â
You watch her eyes scan your entire room, mentally collecting data before she finally lands on you. As your brain starts to load back in, your eyes go wide with horror at the look of pure scandal on her face. Â
Fuck. You were supposed to be having dinner with her and Tsubaki tonight. Usually you confirm with them in the mornings since your up. Itâs not uncommon for her to drop in when you donât reply to check in since you live close by.Â
Fuck. Â
âYouâOh, I have to text Tsubaki-chan, I canât believeââ Â
Before she gets to finish her sentence, Umemiya appears behind her in your door way. The sight of him only adds fuel to the flame of your embarrassment. You went another round or two before bed last night and it looks like it too. Shirtless in sweats he left over a while ago, his biceps are covered in scratch and with a few hickies, heâs wearing his hair down with a cup of tea and a very apologetic smile. Â
You cover your face with your hands unsure of how to deal with the feeling of pure mortification. Â
Kotoha snaps a picture of your room that causes even more distress. Â
âIf you donât delete that right now, Iâm gonna kill us both.â Â
âIn your dreams.â Â
Umemiya laughs warmly. âPlease donât kill each other.â Â
He slides past Kotoha coming over to you. Bending down to kiss your forehead, he pulls the blanket up over you so youâre more well-covered. You give him an incredulous but Umemiya is unfazed - smiling as bright as ever.Â
âGood morning,â Â
âI canât believe my eyes,â Kotoha says. She points at Umemiya. âYou, go put on a shirt.â Â
âFine, fine. Stay for breakfast,â Umemiya says with a smile. âItâll be nice having it with my two favorite people.â Â
You make another face as Umemiya gives you a long, affectionate look before disappearing. She sighs as she looks at you, pinching the bridge of her nose. Â
âI would ask if youâre gonna meet us for dinner but you donât have a choice anymore so show up at seven. Iâm gonna leave before that tactless idiot comes back. Weâll talk later.â Â
You nod in understanding. She turns to leave but then turns back with a genuine smile. Â
âAnd, well - congrats. Heâs a tactless idiot but he does love you or whatever. Cherish each other,â Â
You flush, nodding your head. âYeahâŠthanks.â Â
With that Kotoha leaves quickly. Umemiya returns still shirtless, pouting a little when he notices sheâs gone. Â
âShe left already?â Â
âOf course she did. I canât believe you would invite her for breakfast.â  Â
Umemiya shrugs. âNo point being coy about it. I thought itâd be nice. I was looking for a shirt but I guess I donât need one now,â He sits besides you on the bed, turning to face with a goofy smile. âAnyways, good morning.â Â
âYou already said that.â Â
âYou didnât say it back,â Â
You frown. âGâmorning,â Â
He smiles suddenly before grabbing you from underneath the blankets and sheets - pulling your naked body ontop of him as he grins. Sunlight pours through the window as he holds you to his chest, kissing the crown of your head before pressing his cheek into your hair. Â
âMm, yeah. Itâs a really good morning after all.â Â
âYouâre stupid.â Â
âAnd you love me,â Â
You fail trying not to smile.  Damn him. You're so happy it hurts. You roll your eyes.
âI guess so.â Â
#windbreaker x reader#umemiya x reader#windbreaker smut#umemiya smut#writing tag#umemiya hajime x reader#umemiya hajime smut#bro#im sorry if there are still typos i edited this so much
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ê° đ keeping warm â genshin men ê±
⥠synopsis : as the days get shorter and the weather gets colder, your boyfriend has other ideas on how to keep warm.
⥠characters : diluc, wriothesley, childe ( he's referred to as ajax in the fic )
⥠content warning : nsfw ( 18+ ), fem!reader, soft sex, riding, praising, size kink, squirting, creampie, semi-public sex, bathroom sex, gagging, edging
ౚৠnote : winter time shenanigans with genshin men à«ź âą ï» - á âtis the season !
àšà§ DILUC
â„â âč after a late meeting with the knights of favonius in the dead of winter, you had unfortunately been caught in one of mondstadt's worst snow storms to date. the wind was blowing harshly and it burned your cheeks. when you had reached dawn wineary, diluc was already anxiously waiting near the front doors with thick blankets, clearly worried about you.
you were shivering, a lot, and diluc feared that the blankets may not do enough for you. so he led you by hand to the washroom to take a warm bath and sitting right behind you in the porcelin tub, pushing stray hairs away from your bare back to wash it. eventually when the two of you got out of the bathtub, you went to diluc's bedroom, hoping that skin to skin contact will warm you up once again.
it started off as innocent cuddling surrounded by blankets, with diluc being the bigger spoon but feathering touches turned into wanderering hands which turned into diluc's large hands leading your hips up and down his thick cock.
"ah... that's it baby..." he moans into your neck, moving one of his hands to your lower back, pushing you closer into him.
he was warm, whether it be from his body conserving heat better than yours or his pyro vision resting on the bedside table to the right of you, you don't know what it is but the warmth felt good.
you continue to ride him, your pussy milking his cock for all it's worth while your clit is rubbing against his abdomen deliciously. soon, a layer of sweat formed on both of you bodies.
"mphm! diluc..." you whine softly, pulling away to look at his face and his crimson eyes are filled with lust but also love, so much love.
"yeah? what is it, love?" he asks, his hands coming up to gently hold your face between them and his fingers brushing some hair away from your eyes. "is something wrong?"
"kiss me, please." you beg.
and he obliges, pressing a sweet kiss on your soft lips then moaning in your mouth when you resume riding him. "fuck, love you so much."
"l-love you too, diluc. s'much. love you so much!" you cry out as diluc lifts you up and starts pistoning his cock erratically in your oozing cunt. your back reacts to the overwhelming amount of pleasure by arching, causing your chest to press against his.
diluc's grip on your waist grew tighter as he neared his orgasm, now all he needed was to feel you cum on his cock. "so good, sweetheart... love your pussy... love you..." he mumbles, pressing open mouth kisses to your collarbone. then his cock hit that spongy spot deep inside you and caused you to spiral into your once impending orgasm.
you sobbed as you came, grabbing a hold of diluc's hair as you shook from the sheer amount of pleasure he gave you. from feeling your body shake and your cunt contract around him, diluc's orgasm reached itâs peak and you felt his cock twitch inside of you before his seed flooded your womb.
àšà§ WRIOTHESLEY
â„â âč once winter hits in fontaine, there tends to be less to do in the fortress of meropide. there's no work to do, no herbs to gather for sigewinne because all the plants on the surface are dead for the season, and the production of parts for mekas has slowed down immensely. the sanctum becomes dull, boring, and cold. extremely cold. which is why you're thankful for the fireplace that wriothesley had installed in his office.
the warmth from the burning wood accompanied by the warmth, and pleasure, your boyfriend was providing you was perfect.
"doing so good for me, princess..." he groans, he has you on your back on the blue chesterfield placed in front of the fireplace, legs resting around his wide waist while he splits you open with his thick cock.
"hng... w-wrio, shit!" you moan, wriothesley's pace was unrelenting. he didn't care if anyone heard how loud you were being, the messy sounds of him fucking you amazingly was already reverberating throughout the room.
wriothesley had a strong grip on you, fingertips digging almost painfully into your hips. you felt fucking incredible, your sloppy little cunt was practically dragging him deeper and begging for him to cum inside. to fill you completely, to mark you as his.
each thrust into your pussy was calculated, precise, and accentuated, making the mix of your arousal and wriothelsey's precum ooze out from inside of you. he could tell that you were going to cum soon, you were moaning louder, your fingers were leaving red, hot, angry lines in their wake on the lateral muscles of his back, and you were clamping down impossibly tighter on his cock.
"y'gonna cum soon, baby? good fucking girl. cum all over my dick. make a mess." he coos, pulling his cock almost completely out, leaving only his tip in before ramming it back inside of you.
"mhm! gonna cum! wrio, oh m'god!" you hiccup, then moan louder as he brings one of your legs to rest on his broad shoulders with one hand while the other reaches down and toys with your clit.
the knot in your stomach finally snaps and you cry out as you cum hard, and everywhere. your arousal covered wriothesley's cock and lower abdomen, nearly soaking him completely. tears begin to flood your eyes at the intensity of your orgasm and wriothesley continuing to fuck you, "please, please cum inside." you babble.
"oh, fuuuck." wriothesley moans, fucking into you at a quicker pace to reach his orgasm. then when he cums, warmth spreads across your stomach and you feel him covers your walls in white.
when wriothesley pulls out of your messy pussy, a string of yours and his arousal is connected to his cock. "i really made a mess of you, huh?" he chuckles.
"shut up!" you laugh, sitting up and throwing a pillow at him.
àšà§ CHILDE
â„â âč while it's well known about the rigid extremities of winters in snezhaya, and not being from there, they felt particularly more... harsh, on you because you're not used to them.
so when childe asked you to come with him to visit his family for the holidays, you thought you were prepared by packing and wearing extra layers but you were proved very, very wrong. and because your boyfriend is ever so caring, he realized how much you were struggling to conserve heat and brought up another idea on how to keep you warm.
"a-ajax... we shouldn't, your family is in the other room." you weakly protest, clearly not completely against his idea because when he pulls down your panties, almost pathetically a string of arousal is connected to them.
"yeah?" he chuckles, "your pussy says otherwise, babe."
"don't say things like that!" you whisper-yell.
"mhm... whatever you want..." childe mumbles, too enamored by your glistening cunt. "i'm putting it, okay?"
"'kay..." you say, your hands tightly grab at the counter in the washroom when you feel how his thick cock sinks into you. "o-oh..."
"shiiit... you sure you didn't want to do this?" he teases before bottoming out completely.
"hng!" you begin to moan out before childe puts two fingers in your mouth.
"i know baby, i know... but you gotta stay quiet..." he lightly scold, still thrusting his cock in and out of your sopping pussy. "so fucking pretty. prettiest girl in the world. so lucky you're all mine." childe watches the way the your ass recoils at each snap of his hips like he's in a trance, truly you were a sight to see.
he was reaching so deep inside of you and you wish you could scream it to the high heavens. your eyes rolled to the back of your head at the stimulation, you could feel your slick and his cum make a mess between your thighs and you didn't know how much longer your legs could hold you up.
as if he could read your mind, childe pulls out abruptly and you whine at the loss of contact before he manhandles you into turning around and picking you up to have half of your ass on the edge of the counter.
"wrap your legs around my waist..." he whispers in your ear and you do so. childe thrust the entire length of his cock back into your cunt and your arms fling around his neck, grabbing at the short hairs of his head.
"o-oh my god... ajax!" you sob, trying to grab onto anything or everything to keep you anchored onto him. his pace was erratic and you swore at the angle he was fucking you at, you could feel him in your stomach.
"so. fucking. tight." childe growls in your ear. even though the two of you were trying to be quiet, the sounds of skin on skin was filling the room with your silent moans. and the tie in your stomach was about to snap, you were about to cum, hard.
"fuck, fuck, fuck... 'm cumming, a-ajax! oh my goâ-" and then he stopped.
"what? why did you do that?" you begin to question until childe put his finger to his mouth and hushing, then thats when you heard it.
knock! knock! knock!
"ajax, sweetie? is y/n alright in there?" you hear childe's mom on the other side of the door.
"yeah, mom!" he yells back. "she's just a little cold!"
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#đ works#genshin impact#diluc x reader#wriothesley x reader#tartaglia x reader#childe x reader#diluc x you#wriothesley x you#tartaglia x you#childe x you#diluc smut#wriothesley smut#tartaglia smut#childe smut#genshin#genshin smut#genshin x reader#genshin x you
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Mc/Yuu that when given genuine affection from their friends such as a small gift or just being told that they enjoy being around them, they just get really quiet and look at their friend with shock and disbelief, tearing up a little bit and just going "...oh..." in a real small voice.
Bonus points if they're not usually emotional like this.
It would be fun if it was the overblot gang since they just got some gifts themselves, or maybe ADeuce duo...idk man, I just want some wholesome friendship, I feel like there aren't enough fics like that in this fandom-
WARNINGS: Can be read as platonic or romantic, some of these might be longer/shorter than others, all of them care about you but (almost) all of them are bad with Emotions. also there are slight references to book 6 in Idiaâs section if you squint
COMMENTS: AWH this is such a cute idea! And yes, there should definitely be more wholesome, platonic fics! Also, sorry these are short D:
Wait, crap, youâre tearing up? He just got you a present- are you okay?? Heâs low key worried about you, unsure if this is just you being extremely excited about his (amazing) gift or if thereâs something else going on. Either way, heâs quick to figure it out and reassure you as best he can. Heâs torn between feeling bad about making you cry and being happy you liked his present so much. Either way, he pulls you into a hug and rubs patterns into your back until you feel better.
Youâre crying?! Ohhhh crap oh crap oh crap- he doesnât know what to do! Was his present that bad-? Once you reassure him and tell him you love it, he relaxes a little bit but is still clearly distressed. He isnât very good at figuring out why youâre reacting this way, but his genuine care for you shines through and helps you feel a little more comfortable in his own way.
Wh-what?? Did he do something wrong-? He did a bunch of research, so he had assumed that this gift would be something youâd appreciate, not tear up over! Riddle is. Confused. And scared. Heâs new to this whole âhaving friendsâ thing, and he thinks very highly of you, so the thought of messing up is pretty scary. Heâs at quite a loss of what to do. When you reassure him and tell him youâre okay, heâs very relieved. He makes a note of how much you appreciated the gift and is determined to do more for you. If he has to get used to having friends, he wants you to get used to receiving the affection you deserve, too.
Awh, come on. Youâre seriously tearing up over this? He ruffles your hair affectionately, giving you space to process your emotions while staying nearby. He doesnât quite get what all the fuss is about - all he knows is he got you something and then you âexploded into tearsâ (you did not, heâs exaggerating). He sits with you until you feel better and tries to think of ways he could give you stuff without you âfreaking outâ like this. Maybe some money left in your pockets would be a good ideaâŠ
As soon as you tear up, he wants to go hide in his octo-pot. He knew it, it was a stupid idea. He shouldâve gone with the other present idea, maybe then youâd be less disappointed. If you even still want to be friends with him after this. The moment you explain that youâre really happy, however, his mood does a complete 180, attempting to both comfort you and gloat a little at the same time. He would pat you a little awkwardly on the shoulder, wanting to express he appreciated your vulnerability. Heâs definitely making notes on things he could spoil you with.
He freezes. Dang, he thought it was something youâd like. If not, thatâs okay, he did keep the receipt. You can take it back to the store and get a refund if youâd- oh? You liked it? Heâs another one that would try to comfort you and feel smug at the same time. The thought of making anyone but particularly you so happy is a little jarring to him, and your way of expressing emotions is definitely unexpected, but heâs glad he got you this. Maybe heâll get you something better next time.
For once, Vil is speechless. For a moment he just kinda stands there in surprise, before sweeping you into his arms for a hug - completely ignoring how his clothes might crinkle. He didnât think you would react that way, and - although heâs pretty sure youâre happy - he wants to comfort you anyway. Once you confirm youâre actually happy, he thinks your reaction is sweet and endearing and pure. Heâs definitely buying you more things if this is your reaction to it,
The moment you say âohâ and start to tear up heâs internally going say sike rn. Bro was not prepared for Emotions. He can hardly handle his own feelings, whyâd fate dump him with someone elseâs?! Especially since they belong to someone he cares about. Heâs not real good with other people, let alone taking care of them. He wishes Ortho was here - he could google Top 10 Ways To Comfort A Friend Who Randomly Starts Crying. Idia kinda just ends up patting your entire head awkwardly and saying âthere thereâ through his tablet. He knows itâs pathetic, okay?
Heâs utterly confused. He followed the Human Customs of buying a gift for someone you care about, why are you displaying a negative reaction? Was the gift not satisfactory? Lilia said this would be enough, although perhaps he shouldâve gone with his original plan and bought you significantly more. Were you perhaps disappointed? Once you reassure him, he almost laughs. He thinks your reaction was very cute, he will be buying you significantly more things. Prepare yourself.
â„Thank you for reading!! I hope you enjoyed it!!â„
#twisted wonderland#twst x reader#twst#twst fanfic#twisted wonderland x reader#twst fluff#ace trappola#ace trappola x reader#deuce spade#deuce spade x reader#riddle Rosehearts#riddle rosehearts x reader#leona kingscholar#leona kingscholar x reader#azul ashengrotto#azul ashengrotto x reader#jamil viper#jamil viper x reader#vil schoenheit#vil schoenheit x reader#idia shroud#idia shroud x reader#malleus draconia#malleus draconia x reader#Rheaâs TWST Fics~!
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