selfawaremaniac

[selfawaremaniac]

december now & friends still call her ﻟاﻌﺮوس,

the bride, eleven months married & the shock of it not yet settled behind her eyes.

—FINAL WEEKS, 1990. Safia Elhillo

[selfawaremaniac]

big fan of liars. big fan of characters whose entire existence is a facade. love it when everything's stripped away from them and the lie is the only thing left of their identity. love it when the lines between an act and the truth are blurring. are they even them without the lie? the lie doesn't become the truth per se, but it's now such an intricate part of them it might as well be.

[selfawaremaniac]

Mary Oliver, from Long Life: Essays And Other Writings

[selfawaremaniac]

“If you’re not sure how to love yourself, this is the time to get adventurous.”

— Unknown

[selfawaremaniac]

The hardest pill to swallow in life is that nobody is coming to save you

[selfawaremaniac]

“Forgive me if I don’t talk much at times. It’s loud enough in my head.”

— Unknown

[selfawaremaniac]

Else Fitzgerald, from "Everything Feels Like the End of The World," publ. in 2022

[selfawaremaniac]

Anaïs Nin, from a diary entry featured in The Diary of Anaïs Nin Volume 1 1931-1934

[selfawaremaniac]

Sylvia Plath, from a letter to Aurelia Plath wr. c. December 1960

[selfawaremaniac]

every good thing has the inherent sadness about it for when it passes and it will have to pass. everything will have to pass. its all onboarding trains and then watching them go by from train stations and i hope the next thing i love kills me

[selfawaremaniac]

babygirl i will invent stages of grief you have never seen before

[selfawaremaniac]

divorced couple energy ship will always be immaculate to me. we hate each other. we've seen each other naked. I know how you take your morning coffee. I will never make you your morning coffee again. get it yourself. here you go, I gave it to you anyway. you disgust me. I will always be somewhat in love with you. I will be yours forever. you're not mine anymore. you will always be mine. fuck you. let's fuck, for old time's sake. did you steal my cd? no, no. keep it.

[selfawaremaniac]

There is no way I just wasted my entire break laying in my bed

[selfawaremaniac]

(im girls)

[selfawaremaniac]

blessed w good tits

cursed w bpd

[selfawaremaniac]

Yusef Komunyakaa, from "After the Heart's Interrogation", Pleasure Dome: New and Collected Poems [ID in ALT]

[selfawaremaniac]

on leaving

what if i love you more than anything in this lifetime? what if i love you with the passion of a thousand suns in their dying breath? what if i'd let myself ruined by an extinguished flame if your love was to gain? what if i call for you a thousand times? it doesn't mean you'll come

balthazar, losers \\ fatima aamer bilal \\ trista mateer \\ unknown \\ unknown\\ jan heller levi