#also if you knew me at all you’d know I was born a hater and I will die a hater

[useless-englandfacts]

Bbq sauce on beans on toast is really good. Don't be a hater!

Acab but please deliver yourself to the nearest police station posthaste

-roe

[zoropookie]

HOW HATERS ARE BORN (HHAB)

♡ chapter twenty-six — br(ok)en (💋)

You stared at your phone light up for the twelfth time within five minutes with a dull expression.

Admittedly, you felt angrier knowing that Scaramouche still had the audacity to even text you after everything. After tormenting you for years and years, what kind of shame should someone feel after that, you wonder. The relentless pursuit of making your life miserable—to which he failed at, but it did make you wonder.

Did you do something to deserve it? Each notification felt like another jab that he took to the heart, reopening your wounds from each time he said something messed up to you. As you laid there motionless, with no light ruminating in the room except your phone, you began to feel tears well up in your eyes for the thirteenth time today.

Pursing your lips, you swiped up to read the messages and only felt reminded even further of every harsh word he said. Every cruel taunt, every moment of humiliation...and yet...

He was still right, despite being the biggest hypocrite known to man. And it pissed you off.

Why were you even laying here? Ignoring the world, rotting here like you're a vegetable. You knew that you were something to people, you knew that you were valued.

There wasn’t anything that was particularly motivating for you to get up, however. You ignored every need that you could have possibly wanted, subjecting yourself to sparseness. No matter how much you wanted to, the thoughts always came back and you didn’t know how to deal with them.

A small knock echoed from the front door. It was loud enough to hear, and you still shoved your head in the pillow and hoped it went away.

The longer time you went without answering it, the knocks became more frequent. It wasn’t Thoma, that’s who you could observe without getting up.

You finally managed to drag yourself out of bed, lazing about sounded so much nicer now that you were dreading who’s at the door. With a frustrated sigh, and irritation already to its peak of your heart, you opened the door to a familiar-ish face.

Little girl?

“Did you forget that you exist?” She said with a smile. “Welcome back to Earth! I didn’t know how long you’d be cooped up in here so I brought treats.”

You stared a bit longer than you meant to at the Tupperware of Asafiri in her hands, momentarily taken aback. “Heh?”

“Yanfei sent me here. Looks like you’re having a little bit of trouble getting back on your feet. I take it you know her?” She inquired.

“Yeah.” You blinked slowly, before holding the door a little wider. “Uh…come in, I guess. Thanks for the…treats.” You cringed. “Wow, I get why Heizou keeps being called a creep now, this can look so wrong.”

“The difference is that he does it to himself.”

The warm water on your body was oddly refreshing.

Getting out of the shower was harder knowing that you'd come back to the gust of wind in your living room, but knowing you had fresher pajamas on was also a plus. Things didn't look too great on your mental, especially since you were accustomed to showering a lot in your fresher mind.

You put on the Lightning McQueen slippers you quite often wear, and moved to the kitchen after hearing soft chops of a knife. You wondered what Nahida was up to, staring at her cut apples and bananas before putting them into a huge bowl she found in your cupboard.

"This is a very odd fruit salad you're making." You drew attention to yourself before her eyebrows furrowed. "I don't know whether or not to tell you to be careful with knives."

"I'm smarter than you think I am." Nahida cooed. "I'm used to people being condescending."

"Oh...I'm sorry— You're killing me here, kid. Lady? Are you a child or not?" You asked desperately.

Nahida turned to you, her saturated green eyes stared at you with obviously deliberate thoughts roaming her head before she took a sharp breath. She pointed the knife at you. "Do you feel better?"

"Not...really? I mean, it happened. All of this at once." You tried to process it quicker, but your head failed you. It's like how you actually felt in the moment was blocked. "I feel like I'm in limbo, I don't want to see the sun these days."

"Your thoughts are your biggest enemy right now. Easy to overthink. It's a lot to deal with on your own, good thing you aren't, right?" Nahida lowered the knife, her expression softening. "I cut you up some fresh fruit. It's better than the Asafiri for now, you don't need that much sugar after not eating for a while, or you'll crash hard. And get a headache."

Looking at the bowl loaded with bananas and slices of apples, you couldn't help but wonder why you were even granted this much care anyway. You were in mild disbelief, sitting down at the island counter in front of Nahida. "Why are you actually here?" You said in defeat.

Nahida stopped cutting the fruit, gaze shifting from it to you. She couldn't find what she could say to answer you, but she did press her lips together. "Do you want me to be honest?"

"A little." Your voice lowered.

"Yanfei and Heizou," Nahida paused, trying to find her words, "They wanted to see if I could convince you to start streaming again."

You frowned immediately. "Oh. Thanks for being honest."

"You made progress today, but I don't expect you to be up to it. It's a really big step." She asked you, but you couldn't even decipher the intentions behind her eyes. It was impossible to detect what anybody was thinking nowadays. "They just told me to come over so they can hope their investigation moves."

You sighed, leaning back in your chair once you felt the bitterness course your body again. Hearing that made your mood possibly worse than what it would've been if you were in bed. "Not happening. Thanks for checking on me though, you can leave if you want."

"I knew you'd say that. I guess it's fair, people are...going crazy right now figuring out whether you're okay or not." Nahida smiled once you looked back up at her. "Both Scaramouche and your fans are trying to get anything they can on your wellbeing. It's better to wait it out."

Your hopeful face turned into a sullen one, shoulders slumped at the mention of his name. "I don't know if I can even go back at all."

"I'm not sure how hard this is for you, but with what happened, you've obviously been through enough. While it's your choice to go back, Yanfei is under the impression that you can get revenge." The shorter girl explained. "In my eyes, though...I think you're able to decide that for yourself."

You felt the weight of the memories heavily, your head daunting enough for you to let out a shaky breath. "You think so?"

Nahida nodded, humming, "You don't have to stream, but don't give him the satisfaction if you're upset. You shouldn't let him know that you're suffering because of what he did. The worst thing that you can do is prove him right."

Funnily enough, as soon as she said that, you felt tears well up in your eyes again. It struck a cord, and you knew she was right. It was just knowing that anybody would say it verbatim. "That's the same thing he told me too." You blinked back your tears, more resilient than you were a few minutes ago, but also to the brim of misery.

"He?"

You shook your head, taking a deep breath to steady yourself. "Thanks," You muttered, choking on your words. You couldn't manage to say anything else, otherwise you'd betray your steely posture. "I'll think about it. Just...stay here a little more with me, please. Maybe I'll...find the resolve or something."

previous ♡ masterlist ♡ next

YOU ARE on your way to being one of the hottest streamer in your nation at the moment, racking a monthly average of 10 million viewers, but something specific bothers you about it. you know that a lot of people hate you, but there's this one account. one account that's been following you since the early days of your career. they leave a flood of rude comments in your stream, your moderators banned each account they made, but they keep making more. you are at the end of your tether. but you are yet to find out that this persistent cockroach is none other than your friend's friend (and the only other streamer that's bigger than you), scaramouche.

taglist ♡ @thystarsshine @veekoko @gumickajolli @simonisferal @kamiboo

@justpeachyteastea @feiherp @pinkismyfavcolor @aether-darling @kunisnaomi

@keiiqq @mine-lu @featuredtofu @danhenglovebot @k4zushi

@kyon-cherri @b4tm4nn @iiinaurate @quacking-simp @auroratumbles

@kookiibun @ulquiorraswife @amvpk01 @simplysm1le @h3xi2g0n3

@alatusorrow @scaranthropy @mellowberrie @magica-ren @vernith

@kabukipookie @bananasquash @suqarlaced @dellalyra @lightyagamifan

@yourfavoritefreakyhan @heartsforseo @yomishen @pwushizz @swivy123

@strxwberryfetish @ibyobi @ashfrommars4 @chemiru @ainnofinway

@agaygothicmushroom @levianamor @dragontammerz @wth121 @lylovw

@morgyyyyyyy @lovemari @suniika @melpomenelurks @yumejo89 @liuaneee

@franaby @tiddieshakeshownu (bold users means i'm having trouble tagging you)

[john-get-the-salt]

No one (w/bejicot blackwood)

Imagine: After a chance meeting with a Blackwood, you realize the Riverlands may indeed have potential

Contains: Technically fancast but idc who they say this man below is, he's my beniji okay LOOK AT HIM. Reader is half Targaryen and badass cause i said so. Also a Dragon that i made up because thats the beauty of fanfic. Gender neutral terminology as much as possible

Warnings: none

(p.s. potential for part 2? Of reader and benji at dragon stone? lemme know?)

Bastard

Disgrace

Unworthy

All words you’d been hearing since the day you were born. A bastard child of the late King Viserys, you born from a hasty decision made while he was in the throws of grief after his wife-the queen-died. A mistake.

You never knew your biological mother, only knew the gifts she'd left you-her common colored eyes and a loyalty as fierce as a dragon. You also knew that she had died giving birth to you. It wasn’t uncommon for Targaryen woman to die giving birth, nevermind those of common blood. As your father told it she never stood a chance. But your father, for all intents and purposes, was a good man. Despite the disgrace others found you, he treated you like kin.

You were, after all, half of him.

With time you learned to ignore the judgments of strangers. Even though your white hair showed off your Targaryen blood, there were many who still challenged your lineage. But even the most vocal of your haters fell silent when you claimed a dragon in your 12th year.

Despite it all, your father loved you. And his first born was no different.

Rhaenyra adored you, her brave little sibling. She missed her mother, but found you healing a portion of her heart. She helped her father raise you, and as you bloomed into a young adult you two remained thick as thieves. She was relieved to have someone to help shoulder the burden when your father eventually passed. Evil had crept into the kingdom in the form of the Hightowers, and on more than one occasion they had tried to poison your mind against your sister and her birthright. But it was useless. Family and honor were more important than anything, and so you stood proudly by your sister-the rightful Queen.

This all, of course, led you to where you sat now.

You were on a tour orchestrated by the high counsel, rallying men for Rhaenyra and keeping morale high. Unease had grown in some of the outer lands, and word was spreading that some doubted the royals allegiance to the people. Your task, as the counsel worded it, was to meet with the people and show that the royal family did care for them, would stand with them and not behind them.

Though honestly right now, you didn’t want to stand anywhere near them.

“Ser Lorent, what are we at now?”

“That was the 21st.”

“Surely not!”

“Perhaps not…..I stopped counting after the 13th.”

You blew air from your lips, crossing your arms. The current stop was in the Riverlands. It was a beautiful part of the world with it's rolling hills and greenery. Not that you were enjoying it, trapped in a stifling hot court room listening to queries and declarations and questions. That in itself wasn’t the problem, you were always happy to speak with the people. The problem was the topics in question.

“Surely none of those 21 thought I would actually accept their hand? I’m here to discuss war, not marriage!”

“I can’t say for certain. Though the last few you turned down did seem a bit spooked.”

You humphed. “Good. Maybe it will scare off any others feeling brave. I’d sooner let Bryaxis eat me then become an obedient spouse for some fool to order around.”

“Easy,” Ser Lorent warned, acutely aware the two of you still had an audience.

“I need a break,” you announced, pushing yourself up from your chair. “I find myself quite parched and warm, might we take a break for me to collect myself before we continue?”

The lords hosting for the day nodded, dismissing their people from the courtroom for the afternoon.

You turned to your knight. “I’m going for a walk. I need some fresh air.”

“I must insister I accompany you.”

"I'll be fine, Ser."

"Have you got your sword?"

You patted your back where your trusty blade lay sheathed down your spine. "When do i not?"

The knight sighed. "I feel I'm going to regret this. Won’t you take your dragon?”

"You worry too much, and Bryaxis would bring the attention I'm looking to avoid. I'll be back in an hours time after I’ve had a break from this stifling place."

Before the man could change his mind you were slipping from the room and following a maids directions to the outside gardens.

The moment you were free of the stuffy stone building you took a deep breath of fresh air. While still hot outside, there was at least a slight breeze giving you relief. Hoping to avoid detection you pulled your hood up, then you were off. You strolled the lands belonging to the lords hosting, sprawling and filled with foliage and wildlife. You managed to avoid anyone else, getting the peace and quiet you so desperately craved. At least, until you hit the peak of a hill and then began descending it.

Up ahead, there was what you guessed to be a training area. Dummies made of various materials stood haphazardly propped up. You walked closer, curious. As you drew near you realized there was someone there. A young strapping man with dark hair was training with his sword. He stood amongst the dummies, weaving around while he struck them with his blade.

You watched him in awe for a few minutes. He sword struck with such force, yet his movements were smooth and fluid. He moved like it was second nature to have a blade in hand, like it was an extension of his arm. Considering how many great warriors you'd witness train, he was impressive.

The stranger paused for a moment to catch his breath, and that’s when he finally noticed his admirer. Realizing you'd been caught, you walked forward to the edge of the training yard.

"I hope I didn't startle you. I was just observing. You have a way with the blade, my lord."

The man's eyes had widened more and more the closer you got, and his cheeks flushed at the compliment.

"You flatter me. I was just training, fooling around. It's nothing-"

"Nonsense. I know good technique when I see it."

His face grew a cherry red, and a beat of silence hung between you two. You were moments away from excusing yourself and returning to the court and Ser Lorent when the man spoke again. He'd taken a beat to compose himself, and his complexion had returned to it's natural color.

"Forgive me. I don't believe we've ever had the pleasure of meeting. Are you new to the riverlands?"

You froze in place, eyes wide. The man before you had no idea who you were. You didn’t have the signature purple eyes, and your giveaway white hair was tucked back into your hood. The shock quickly weared off and the new realization left you pleased. This was a welcome change, one you would be taking advantage of. You finally blinked again, relaxing your stance.

“I’m no one. Just passing through when I was overcome with the need for fresh air and a walk. My apologies for interrupting, lord...?”

“No apology needed. And I am not a lord, that would be-"

You waved the formality away and his words died on his tongue. "All the lady and lord nonsense never made much sense to me. I much prefer names."

And so you two swapped introductions. Though you realized, just a beat after he gave you his, that your name would almost undoubtfully give you away. So you gave the name of one of your own ladies in waiting.

And this man, this handsome man, was Benjicot Blackwood.

"The Blackwoods are fierce fighters, or so I've heard. From the looks of you before I interrupted the rumors are true."

Benji blushed, though you could have sworn his chest puffed out a bit at the compliment. You struggled to hold in a laugh at the observation.

"We take our training very seriously."

"And you fight for the Blacks?" You asked carefully, keeping your face and tone neutral.

"Aye, for the true queen Rhaenyra. And proud of it."

A real smile blossomed on your face, and Benji relaxed his shoulders in relief.

"It pleases me to hear so."

Then it was your turn to blush as Benji shot you a stunning smile. Desperate to turn the subject, you asked something you'd been dying to know since you first laid eyes on him.

"Would you indulge me in sharing how you did that one move with your sword and the spin?"

"Pardon?"

"When you lifted your sword like this and then went-" you did a poor attempt to demonstrate the move.

"Ah, this?" Benji repeated it, so fast that all you could make out was him tossing his sword into the air and then spinning around fast enough to catch it again before it could fall.

Your face lit up. "Yes, that!"

"Sure-do you-are you familiar with swordsmanship?"

You tried to ignore how cute you found his stumbling and instead nodded. You reached over your shoulder and pulled out Night Cleaver. A gift from Daemon, it was one of your most prized possessions.

"My family and I train sometimes. I'm still learning, but I've never seen that move you did. Could you try to teach me?"

"Are you sure?"

You rasied an eyebrow and Benji rushed to continue, "I just mean-in your attire. Can you move around in it well enough? I dont want you to trip or strain yourself.”

“I’ve trained in almost every sort of clothing, including nothing. I’ll be alright.”

Benji gulped, trying to keep his brain from imagining you swinging a sword around naked.

“Are you alright?” You asked as the man had gone beet red again and was very obviously avoiding your eyes.

He nodded furiously and you couldn’t help but find him entirely adorable in that moment. “Sorry for an unwanted imagery that may have brought up. But I’d be lying if I said that wasn’t my intention.”

Benji’s flustered expression morphed into one of disbelief.

“You’re a little flirt, aren’t you?”

You merely smiled and batted your eyelashes.

He shook his head, though a smirk was growing on his face. Gods he was attractive.

“So, first you want to plant your feet like this…”

As the time passed after that you could barely feel it, fully absorbed in the man in front of you and what he was teaching. Hours could’ve flown by and you’d be none the wiser.

He was good, any form of shyness vanishing as he patiently and kindly taught you how to replicate his impressive move. In the meanwhile you two bantered, swapping bits of information about yourselves. You changed names when needed, but otherwise kept honest. The move was hard, and even with your above average skills you struggled.

"Here, may I?"

You nodded, and Benji took a few steps closer. The two of you had remained a few feet apart for the entirety of the interaction, until now. Now he was within breathing room as he rested one hand oh so carefully on your wrist and the other on the small of your back to turn you the right direction. He smelled of sweat and leather and faintly of rain soaked stone. You couldnt help but bask in it, as the everlasting time seemed to slow and you both met eyes and leaned in-

A roar bellowed through the skies, causing both of you to freeze and look up. Any panic you felt evaporated at the sight of familiar black wings soaring through the skies, and you smiled as Bryaxis sped up once he caught sight of you.

Meanwhile Benjicot had gone pale, and was internally panicking at the large creature careening towards you. He grabbed your waist and tucked you behind himself while he raised his sword. He wasn’t foolish enough to think he could take on a dragon, but he was crazy enough to try.

“Stay behind me!”

“Wait, Benji-“

You were interrupted by Bryaxis letting loose another roar, angry at the sight of someone he didn't recognize touching you. He grew closer, and as he gave his wings once final flap he was hitting the ground with a deafening boom. The moment he landed you broke out of Benji’s grasp.

“Wait!” He shouted, but you didn’t stop. You ran to your dragon, who was already opening his mouth and preparing to burn Benji alive.

“Bryaxis! Don’t!”

He halted, mouth still wide open and showing off his rows of razor sharp teeth.

By time you reached his side, your hood had fallen from your head.

“He’s a friend. No need to burn.”

Bryaxis gave a little whine through his nose but closes his mouth and laid his head down in front of you. You sighed in relief, and rested your hand on his snout.

“Good boy, Bry.”

He shut his eyes and purred at the attention. He was really a softie at heart

“What in the bloody hell?”

Bryaxis’ eyes snapped back open and narrowed at the man behind you that you’d nearly forgotten about.

“Easy boy,” you warned him, keeping a hand on his nose while you turned to meet Benji’s wide eyes.

“You….you’re a Targaryen.”

The wind picked up a bit, blowing your now revealed white hair around you.

“Yes. This is Bryaxis. And I’m-“

“The princess.”

Your face warmed. “I….apologize for not being totally honest, Benji.”

His eyes remained wide, unbelieving. Then he suddenly dropped to one knee, bowing deeply.

“My apologies Princess, I meant no ill with any of my comments I-“

“Benji,” you stepped away from your dragon to reach for him, pulling him back to his full height tall above you. “Stop that. I didn’t say anything because I enjoyed being known as commonfolk. I…didn’t want you to desire my company just because of my family, because of who I am. It felt nice that you seemed to like me for me. As ridiculous as that may sound.”

Far from your usual confident self, your voice swayed and hands trembled as you tried to express yourself properly. You were fearful that this thing between you was destroyed before it even had the chance to become something.

“Not ridiculous at all,” Benji said softly, hesitating for a moment before he brought his hands to your face. He moved slowly, giving you time to pull away. But you didn’t. You let him hold your face so softly, thumbs brushing over your cheeks. His heart broke a bit at the thought that you had to lie just to be treated as a normal human being.

“I understand why you were cautious, that’s smart of you. I could have been a danger, I could have been a threat.”

“Well…you were quite threatening to those dummies.”

Benji laughed at that, loud and full and careless.

“If I promise to be honest from here on out….would you consider seeing me again before I take my leave from the Riverlands? After all, I still haven’t quite mastered the sword spin trick of yours.”

“Are you sure? To quote a fine lady….I’m no one.”

“That’s not true. You’re someone.”

Benji hummed, giving you a soft sort of smile as he studied your face before answering.

"Same time tomorrow? I’ll bring lunch.”

[meetmymouth]

ooh I think #7 and #17 from the blurb list would fit very well together! if you want!

THANK YOU LINDS <3<3

prompt list here, send a number!!

#7 If we both want to fit, we’ll have to cuddle

#17 Sleeping in the same bed for the first time

THIS IS 3K IM SORRY I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF SO PLEASE REBLOG LMAOOOOOO!!!!!

"This is my room," comes a gruff voice behind you as you keep looking out the window, taking in the greenery and the beautiful ocean.

See, you knew he would be here.

You knew, because Harry and Mitch were attached at the hip, and you didn't mind. You didn't mind seeing your ex every time you were invited to hang out with MitchandSarah & co, except when said ex decided to be an evil arsehole.

Perhaps, calling him an "ex" was weird, seeing how your time alone only consisted of you both getting high, mostly naked as he whispered the filthiest things in your ear and promised to make you feel good, be the best you've ever had. Other than that, though, he was an insufferable bastard. Since you never hung out with the man without your friends around–getting rat-arsed and high... and the activities that followed aside–, you didn't know if he was always this annoying.

He seemed to be getting along just fine with the others, especially Sarah and the other girls, so you had no problems scratching off the "women hater" off your list. And you can't ever recall him being this insufferable while you both were fucking which was, in his case, miserable. So, it was definitely annoying. You weren't that interested in him to think that he was being mean because he was secretly in love with you. That was a myth, a pathetic myth, wasn't it? No, you wouldn't steep that low. He was just an arse, full stop.

You turn around with an eye-roll, and within seeing his face, you nearly clench your fists like a ten-year-old. "Do you live here?" You ask, hoping the boring expression on your face is also detectable in your tone.

It's certainly not a surprise when Harry scoffs.

"I don't, but I picked this room first. Since, you know," he looks around, and walks further into the room, finally stopping at the feet of the bed. "You were late. As per."

"Oh fuck off. This isn't summer camp. Besides, I don't see any of your shit around. The room was empty when I arrived."

"If you bothered to look inside the wardrobe..."

Seriously, you find yourself thinking, how the fuck did you ever end up with this man. Naked.

There's a commotion downstairs, so you both turn to the door, but much to your dismay, there's no one coming to check up on you and hopefully, save you from Harry Styles' pathetic gob.

You turn towards the window again, eyes squinting briefly at the last bits of sunshine that's glinting from between the branches.

"Well. You shouldn't have left then. You weren't here when I arrived."

Harry shakes his head, and you swear you can see his nostrils flaring if you look carefully. Though, you just watch him with a smug smile on your face as he walks to the wardrobe and pulls open the white doors. True to his word, his clothes are there, perfectly folded, and for a moment you feel a pang of guilt before you look back up at his face and see the furrowed eyebrows.

"See. My clothes. I'm sure Sarah will sort it out for you, find you another room or summat."

"There's only three bedrooms. Can't sleep with a pregnant woman and her boyfriend, can I?"

"What about Rachel and David? Aren't you best friend's with her?"

"Harry, you're ridiculous. Just–" you wipe the sweat off of your forehead, feeling yourself grow hotter and hotter each passing minute. "–just sleep on the sofa. This is my first vacation this year. You go on holidays every week or so. Let us commoners have this."

"Oh, please. Didn't you have a girls weekend getaway or whatever the fuck in Soho Farmhouse two weeks ago?"

You can't help the scoff that leaves your mouth, and a raised eyebrow follows. "How do you know about that?"

"Because," he rolls his eyes, and slams the wardrobe shut. "You post seven hundred stories every day."

"You're a stalker."

"You sleep on the sofa."

You smirk, noticing how he avoided your previous statement.

To be fair, you hated posting on your story. Though, knowing Harry followed you on Instagram made posting on there fun, and seeing his username on the list of who watched your stories pop up at the very top every single time whenever you posted a story almost made you let out a mingy little laugh and rub your hands together, and scream "gotcha!".

"I won't."

"You're getting on my nerves."

"What a coincidence," you ignore the stare he's sending your way and walk towards your carry on, and start taking the contents out one by one, laying everything on the bed.

He watches with a scowl on his face, arms crossed across his chest, and a satisfied smile paints your features as you take out the toiletries bag next.

"Are you seriously unpacking right now?" Harry cranes his neck so he can see better. He looks ridiculous, standing in the middle of the room with arms crossed, but you refrain from saying anything.

In fact, you don't even answer him. Perhaps, you find yourself thinking, it was silly to unpack your underwear first. It wasn't as if you brought super "sexy" shit or lace everything. You can definitely feel his gaze watching your every movement as you take everything out carefully and place them on top of each other. With most of your underwear in hand, you get on one knee in front of the bedside table and open the drawer, placing everything inside and it's surprising how he hasn't claimed the bedside table yet.

"Look," he sighs. "I'll talk to Sarah, maybe you can sleep with her and Mitch–"

"–don't be stupid we're not making them sleep with other people because you can't be a gentleman and sleep on the sofa."

"Oh for fuck's sake," he growls, and you finally look at him, eyebrows raised in hopes of making him feel as stupid as he sounds right now. Unfortunately, though, he continues, "Okay, damn it, I'll sleep on the floor."

Fool.

"Common sense, Harry. Always pick sofa. No matter what."

"Were you born to make my life a living hell?"

"Look," you sit on the bed, and look around. "This is boring me to death. I'm sleeping on the bed. If you shut your gob, you can sleep with me on the bed."

Harry lets out an obnoxious laugh. "Just admit I was here first and you didn't bother checking the–"

"Yes, I didn't and what about it? I'm here now, aren't I? I'm on the bed, babes. Anyway," you get on your feet, and with one last look at him, you start walking towards the door. "I'll see you in a bit. I guess."

You both manage to avoid each other as much as you can throughout the day, and really, it wasn't that hard considering the good company of your friends, good food and good alcohol. You mainly helped Sarah and Rachel in the kitchen as the men lounged on the sun loungers, Mitch handling the grill and David helping you guys with the drinks that came in and out of the house pretty quickly with the way you lot consumed them like water.

You spend the night eating, laughing and drinking, sometimes singing along to whatever song played on David's fancy Bluetooth speaker, and everyone begins ushering inside with full bellies and most of them–except the very pregnant Sarah–with a tipsy smile on their faces.

You leave before Harry though, leaving him smoking his last cigarette by the pool while you run up the stairs and into the room, closing the door behind you. You quickly get rid of the romper and get your favourite pyjamas on, eyes searching for the orange makeup bag so you can take off the remaining makeup before bed. You knew it was silly not to do your night routine, but you still zip the bag closed with a sad expression on your face, not wanting to see your toner and night cream any more than you needed to as you throw it on the floor next to your bags. It's pathetic really, how determined you are to get in the bed before Harry can that you forego your whole routine and stick to some cotton pads. Though, plugging your charger and getting between the cool sheets make you forget all about it as you let out a sigh, and unlock your phone to do your nightly scroll before falling asleep.

As you double tap on a selfie, the door opens, and you hear him scoff, again. You keep scrolling though, and try to sneak a few glances at him as he makes a beeline for the wardrobe, and to your surprise, begins to undress. You try to stay calm, and not to think about how domestic this whole thing seems; being in the same room as him as he gets ready for bed.

Right, getting ready for bed.

You keep your eyes on your phone as his clothes hit the floor one by one, and when you look up briefly, he's got a pair of joggers on, and he's throwing the clothes he had on in the wardrobe.

He turns around, and find your gaze, and he rolls his eyes.

"I knew you'd be in bed, here, as soon as I heard someone running. Forgot you were a literal five-year-old," he mutters under his breath, loud enough so you can still hear him. "I'm not sleeping on the sofa."

"I love how you're basically arguing with yourself."

"Like I said, I'm not sleeping on the sofa. I didn't come all the way to sleep on a bloody sofa."

"Suit yourself. I guess we're sharing. Unless," you lock your phone, and place it on the bedside table. "You want to share," you shrug, adjusting your pillow and sigh at the cool fabric against your hot cheeks.

You can feel him thinking, the wheels turning in his head, and you finally hear the floorboards creek underneath his feet as he walks closer to the bed, and pushes the sheets off of you. The whole thing.

You blink in surprise. "Stop it, dude! What the fuck."

"I'm getting in! Fuck's sake, be quiet."

"You did that just to annoy me."

You're both quiet for a minute, Harry taking his rings off and then comes his socks, and he finally copies you, laying on his back on the bed. He covers the both of you, though you know it's not intentional since he couldn't do it without covering his own body with the duvet, and then he lets out a strangled sigh.

"The bed's too small."

"Are you calling me fat?"

"What?" He turns his face to you, and perhaps it's the first time he's looking at you– really looking.

His brows are furrowed, and lips turned downwards in a pout.

"I'm taking the piss, Harry. I know you're not calling me fat."

"Good," he says, though his voice isn't exactly soft. "I wouldn't."

"Good."

Silence.

It's unbearable.

Despite the hot weather, you feel yourself shiver, and you wish you were the only one in bed so you could do the whole burrito technique with the duvet. Alas... you stay where you are. You both do.

A dog barks in the distance, the high-pitched bark coming through the open window, and you can feel Harry breathing too fast beside you. You want to shout at him, tell him to fuck off and... not breathe too fast, though it sounds a bit too rude even for you, so you stay silent and wait for the dog to pipe the fuck down.

You try to turn on your side, because you could never see yourself fall asleep laying on your back like a vampire, but you almost fall, not anticipating the tiny space you've got going on. It's bad, and you know you're not going to get a good sleep. So, you find yourself contemplating about getting up and sleeping on the sofa because honestly, fuck him.

Harry shuffles next to you, presumably trying to find a good position to sleep in himself, but he lets out a groan and it startles you.

"What's wrong with you!"

"The bed's too fucking small."

"We've established that."

He sniffs, hands clenching the sheets around his body. "I don't sleep on my back. My back hurts."

You don't say anything, hoping for him to just get up and leave, go sleep on the sofa. He doesn't, though. It's another fifteen minutes before you let out another sigh, trying to get comfortable on the bed, and Harry copies you. You both turn on your sides, facing each other and Harry groans when your knee makes contact with his thigh, making you cringe in embarrassment. A quiet sorry leaves your mouth and he shakes his head, then turns the other way, facing the door.

"Fuck," he spits after a minute. "If we both want to fit, we'll have to cuddle."

"Cuddle? Fuck no."

"Just," he turns to you again, but the bed is too small for you both so his knees touch yours. "Just come closer. Either that, or go sleep on the sofa."

"Why don't you–"

"You're so stubborn! Come closer, I won't eat you or fall in love with you. Fuck."

You groan, but oblige for some reason, feeling your heart beginning to beat faster for some ridiculous reason.

It's been a long time, you find yourself trying to convince your heart. It's been a long, long time since you've been this close to a human being. Too long since you've cuddled with someone, so obviously you were going to feel a little excited, and weird. Yes, definitely weird.

You get closer and he lifts up his arm, you both sharing a look before you roll your eyes and place your hand on his wrist, placing it on your hip. He's quiet, eyes searching yours, and the crease between his brows are gone, and you want to laugh, because who knew it only took your skin against his to wipe that stupid grimace off of his face.

"I still think you're annoying," Harry mumbles, clearly sleepy. His hold on your hip becomes tighter as his thumb strokes your skin over the fabric.

"I know. Just shut up and sleep."

[creativeashproductions]

Songbird Shenanigans // Charlie Gillespie

IN WHICH: The reader will routinely sneak away from her band/hotel to continue her tour shenanigans in parking garages. A way for the young star to return to the stupid years where the concert venue was a car and the mic was the steering wheel. As each city comes and goes with the tour, one thing never changes, driving to parking garages to scream songs at the top of your lungs.

Warnings: Swearing, Mamma Mia songs (oops), and fluff

Words: 4.0k (with lyrics included)

A/N: There’s something endearing about Charlie randomly going a stranger in a duet and dance without a care. This was loosely inspired by the chaotic live they did when Jeremy and Charlie stayed at Owen’s place. I loved Charlie’s tropical shirt giving Animal Crossing vibes.

TO BE TAGGED SEND AN INBOX/ASK PLEASE!

Masterlist

A moment you had desired for a while finally came around in Oklahoma City during the free day between the two concerts. The pure quiet away from the interviews, photoshoots and demanding life of a musician. Yet despite wanting this time, you definitely felt bored, which only meant one thing.

A new video for your followers as you had done since the beginning of your successful career. Back before, you had the prominent following you had; now you would travel singing in your car, and then one video got viral. That elevated your following until you had signed a record deal with your brand new agent.

A series was then born of driving at night to the parking lots and garages in the city you temporarily visited. You'd park and sing any suggested songs from a previous video for an hour to see if a fan could find you. It was a fun game you had developed.

Y/N Y/L/N: Another installment of Songbird Shenanigans. From 9pm to 10:30pm, I'll be somewhere in Oklahoma City. Come find me for the prize!

Your agent both hated and loved the series as it brought attention to your career and songs but also was a hazard during the tour. The risk of losing your voice made your agent nervous, but the positives outweigh the negatives.

"What song are you doing?" Maddie asked from her chair in your hotel suite with a ratty book in her hand. Her rich dark hair pulled up in a high bun with a few pieces of bangs pulled down to hang free.

You didn't know if you could do what you do if you didn't have Maddie by your side as your singing partner and chief stylist. Maddie also always knew without looking on social media when you had a new installment coming.

"My most requested video is Train Wreck by-"

"James Arthur." Maddie snickered with her grey eyes pinned to the page she was reading faithfully. The book had seen better days, but it was her absolute favourite one by far and one of the only physical books she had.

"Somehow forgot you had it on repeat for a week straight." You snorted, shoving a hat on your head for warmth. A plain black coat pulled over your arms that matched the warm boots you had chosen, "I'll send you my location."

Maddie waved on hand in response, having known the routine since you first started this fun series. It allowed you a bit of your old life when the concerts you performed was solely in your car with the steering wheel as the microphone.

Judy, your agent, was sitting in the lobby with her binder surrounding her when she looked with a sigh. Without a word, she tossed the keys to the rented car she knew you'd need, so in each city, she rented one. A smile of gratitude shared before you were out the door with your hood up.

"Be careful!" Judy exclaimed just as the sliding doors closed behind you, sending you out in the cold night.

Almost instantly, your cheeks turned a light pink in the cold winter air, even if the walk to the war was short. As requested, the car was a newer model but one that would blend in with other city cars. It made finding you harder, but the windows couldn't be tinted.

"Here's to hoping I get a place with good acoustics." You muttered, starting the hatchback vehicle. Despite the cold winter weather, the road conditions were surprisingly okay, but then again, you were from a small town. Roads were shit in general.

You didn't bother playing music as you used the drive to find a parking garage and warm up your throat. Your vocal coach would have your head if you didn't warm-up, and then Judy would kill you even more.

You lucked out in a parking garage to a building that seemed to be a renovated warehouse with insanely cool windows. The metal was a dark shamrock green with a multitude of small rectangular glass between the metal. The panes swung open upwards in a fascinating design.

"Perfect." You muttered, signalling to turn into the parking garage that was easily accessed and without any trespassing signs. It was desolate, with cars parked here and there in the stalls.

A bright orange Subaru definitely took the cake as the most 'flashy' vehicle among the more nondescript ones. Not that it caught your attention when you lowered your windows marginally while simultaneously clipping the phone onto the dash. Immediately you double-checked for any apparent signs to your location before declaring it safe; with a tap of your finger, your Instagram live began.

"Welcome to another part of our Songbird Shenanigans. This time I'm in Oklahoma City for a two-day concert. The most requested song is Train Wreck by James Arthur."

Laying in the silence

Waiting for the sirens

Signs, any signs I'm alive still

I don't wanna lose it

I'm not getting through this

Hey, should I pray? should I pray

A natural instinct of closing your eyes as you got more into the music occurred. Your voice belted into the garage beautifully. Tons of comments appeared in the insta live chat of both supportive and haters.

username3: I suggested this song!!!

username88: Your voice goes perfectly with the song.

The song came to an end quicker than you would have liked since it was definitely one of your favourites to sing.

Unchain the reactions, I'm not ready to die, not yet

Pull me out of the train wreck

Pull me out, pull me out, pull me out

Pull me out, pull me out, pull me out

No action was helped back from taking a swig of water from the reusable bottle you had brought along. Your eyes scoured the comments for more suggestions or things that stuck out.

"Why don't you include hints in the Songbirds?” You read out from the comment section with a smile barely held back, "Why would I? You all know that my windows are often down, and even the most unoriginal locations have tells. There's been a few people that have found me."

Username13: I think I know where you are (insert heart emoji)

          ↳Username63: username13 where?! How do you know?

          ↳Username13: jatp is streaming all day and the guys are in a car. Same background

Your eyes read the short but interesting conversation between the two different accounts on something called jatp? Whatever that was.

"Any other requests?" You asked, scrolling through the suggestions, "Sing something from jatp? I'm sorry, guys, but I have no clue what that is? Is it a movie? OH! It's a show. My bad."

The comment section was flooded, "Okay! Let me look up the lyrics and the melody!"

Three males: a blonde and two brunettes, walked between the rows of both occupied and unoccupied parking spots. The blonde wearing a black t-shirt with BEANS written across the chest and the brunette with short slicked-back hair crowded the middle guy. All three pairs of eyes watched the iPhone stream the television series.

"I call shotgun!" Owen spoke as the car in question came into view, "We gotta Livestream in the car again!"

"Your neighbour sucks, man." Charlie groaned, nudging Jeremy to unlock the car when the older man hesitated.

"If we're going live in the car, we should cover your license plate," Jeremy suggested to a resounding agreement. 

Charlie drove an obscenely vibrant coloured car that could be picked out quickly, so he didn't need any help in broadcasting his location. Owen grabbed the book from the passenger seat to angle it to lean against the plate.

"Done!" Owen called, racing back to climb into the car with his friends. The blonde-haired man bounced in his seat as the owner of the vehicle set up the screen.

In seconds, the streaming went from the app on the phone to the car's built-in screen to the boys' delight. In a moment of what some may call brilliance and others stupidity Owen went live on Instagram with Charlie joining him swiftly.

"Do you rem-"

Username76: Songbird chose a shitty location.

           ↳Username 39: Or we just got a Hail Mary hint

"Who is Songbird?" Charlie questioned, leaning closer to his friends in the front, catching a few comments.

The comments were mixed among other unrelated ones, but all had Songbird, Shenanigans or both words. The mystery was so intriguing the boys turned down the show to scour the comments for tidbits.

"Wait? Do you hear that?" Jeremy questioned, scanning the parking garage with his blue, green eyes. Soon his head was sticking out the window, "Someone is singing here."

Jeremy's hand turned the key of the car, "Is that-"

"Oh, no." Owen groaned, seeing that specific light appear in Charlie's eyes just as it did each time one of the songs came on. His pink beanie slid around his long blonde locks.

The two guys watched as the second oldest in their group did some kind of shimmy after pushing his phone to Jeremy. Jeremy's hand scrambled to get a grip on the phone as Charlie delved into his love for these songs. Sharing a look, Jeremy and Owen followed the Canadian to a car with a girl singing in the open hatchback car.

(Italics is you! Italics and bold is Charlie and you! Just bold is Charlie!)

When you were lonely, you needed a man.

Someone to lean on, well I understand

It's only natural

But why did it have to be me?

Your eyes remained shut as you neared the middle of the first verse. You completely stopped when a voice joined. Your e/c eyes met the twinkling brown of a handsome guy with the best voice you'd heard in a long time.

Nights can be empty, and nights can be cold

So you were looking for someone to hold

That's only natural

But why did it have to be me?

Your lips parted in a grin as you grabbed the hand being offered to be pulled out of the car; on your way, your hand nudged your phone. Your phone was in a mount attached to the roof of the hatch. When you followed the stranger, the phone turned in perfect view. Your free hand turned to hover over your forehead, legs bending to feign a swoon.

I was so lonesome, I was blue

I couldn't help it, it had to be you and I

Always thought you knew the reason why

Charlie beamed playing being shot by the arrow you pretended to shoot with a grin planted on your own lips. Charlie's hand flirted with your hip as you sashayed around his body from his left to his right. Hand grabbing a first full of his white with light teal with light pink design to tug him chest to chest.

I only wanted a little love affair

Now I can see you are beginning to care

But baby, believe me

It's better to forget me

In turn, Charlie grabbed your wrist to twirl you into his arms straight into an impressive dip with the toe of your shoe pointed to the far wall. Your fingers just barely caressing the rough paved lot.

"I'm Charlie," Charlie murmured during the instrumental between the chorus and the second verse. Your eyes scanned his features with an expression you would later be glad was hidden from the lighting in the garage.

"Y/N." You breathed, clutching his shoulders still low in the dip, hoping subconsciously that your breath was still fresh.

"Wanna finish this?" Charlie spoke, searching your eyes with his own; up close, you could see his eyes were a mixture of colours. You only nodded before he continued singing to the music.

Men are the toys in the game that you play

When you get tired, you throw them away

That's only natural

But why did it have to be me?

"Are you seeing this?" Jeremy whispered to Owen as they watched Charlie literally sweep a stranger off her feet. Owen could only nod as Charlie went into the next verse, still dancing as if he was in Mamma Mia 2.

Falling in love with a woman like you

Happens so quickly, there's nothing to do

It's only natural

But why did it have to be me?

Charlie spun you back away from his body in a graceful twirl your choreographer would be incredibly proud of. The moves you made somehow made sense, with the movements matching the spontaneous duet-er.

I was so lonesome, I was blue

I couldn't help it, it had to be you and I

Always thought you knew the reason why

Once more in his arms dancing, he dipped you once more as you finished the end of the last chorus breathing heavily. The two strangers staring intensely into each other's eyes with an intense look that had tensions in the parking garage.

I only wanted a little love affair

Now I can see you are beginning to care

But baby, believe me

It's better to forget me

"Intense." Owen chuckled as Charlie raised you back onto your feet with a matching grin to yours, "Oh! Look at the comments!"

Username24: Holy shit! They ooze chemistry!!

           ↳Username9: lol, okay Alex. 

"You aren't a viewer, are you?" You breathlessly laughed, taking a step away from Charlie as the music faded away.

The equally breathless spontaneous performing partner laughed as well, "I heard the song and hoped for the best."

"Are you Songbird?" Came a voice from a few feet away. Behind the once upon a time stranger stood two males approaching slowly.

"Oh!" You gasped, turning on your heel to see where your phone was pointing, "Well, that's convenient! One moment."

Jeremy and Owen flanked Charlie as you repositioned the phone at the moment with practised precision. You kept the three people out of the shot for privacy reasons.

"There is about ten minutes away from the end of this installment being over. For the first time since we started this series, I had a duet." You playfully laughed, looking over at the trio, "It's completely up to my sudden partner, but would you like to meet your audience?"

Charlie simply shrugged, "Sure. They've seen you be serenaded by a stranger."

A short laugh came from the three individuals around Charlie as he moved into the camera frame with a large smile. As soon as he was in sight, the comment section went nuts, furthering when Owen and Jeremy came into view.

Username1: DREAM COME TRUE

           ↳Username4: omg jatp in Songbird Shenanigans?? Life accomplished.

You couldn't hold back the snort at the comments you could read quickly as they disappeared after new ones. The three guys couldn't help but chuckle as well.

"I've never seen these guys before. If you could introduce yourselves." You asked the three guests, to which each sent a reassuring smile to your hesitance.

"I'm Charlie Gillespie, and these are my friends Owen Joyner and Jeremy Shada." Charlie took the liberty of introducing both his friends and himself. His heart fluttered at the adorable smile that had appeared on your pretty face.

"I'm afraid this concludes this edition of Songbird." You apologized to the camera as the time passed the allotted hour and a half. The comments turned sad before most of them started sending questions, "I'll let you know when I do another edition! Bye for now!"

Your finger clicked the end button firstly before clicking the save button for when you would upload it to your account later.

"Thank you for doing that. I'm Y/N." You chuckled, shaking hands with Jeremy and Owen, who each grinned back, "So what brought you guys to the parking garage with three phones and a live-action Animal Crossing shirt?"

Amusement was found on all four young adults in the parking garage, pinning a gaze at the material. You had to admit you kinda adored the shirt, or maybe the person wearing it was the reason.

"We're trying to get Julie and the Phantoms to number one again." Owen offered as he displayed the live still going on his phone. 

"That's a tv series. That was the second song I did on the live before Charlie joined the little concert." You told the boys all the while aware that thousands of people watched from the phone still streaming.

"The phone's about to die." Owen piped up, catching the single decimal number broadcasting the percentage. Without any prompting, he ended the live to save it solely for the little performance Charlie did.

"Did you save it?" Jeremy asked, lifting on his tiptoes to check the phone Owen had commanded for the last half hour. Like Owen, Jeremy wanted to save it solely for the stellar performance.

"So, how'd this series start?" Charlie questioned, pushing his hands into his pockets, ignoring the subtle glances of his best friend.

"I needed an escape from touring so many cities. It's reminiscent of the days before I was discovered. When my audience was the dials in my car and my family." You half-smiled, recalling all the times you had simply driven around to sing.

"You're a musician?"

"I am. I'm currently on tour for my second album. Every second or third city I'm performing in, I take the rented car to parking lots or garages to sing. I always have a prize for the fans that find me."

"Could I get your number?" Charlie hesitantly questioned. His features twisting with the manipulation of nerves.

His palms had gone clammy enough to inconspicuously wipe them on his legs; this version of Charlie was unfamiliar. Owen and Jeremy had only ever seen him as this bundle of joy and energy, not to say he didn't have his low days, instead of nervous. Owen slipped his fingers behind his back to cross them. He hoped his Canadian friend would get it.

"You don't leak mine, and I won't leak yours." Your e/c eyes twinkled with the brush of Charlie's warm fingers on your own. The new contact waiting for his information, "Maybe we can meet up with each other?"

"I'd love that."

Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York, Unspecified Date

The sounds of screams and heavy instruments blocked by the unique in-ears explicitly made for your ears alone. You'd heaved, catching a breath after such an energetic song you'd just performed for the sold-out venue. You just jogged to the side for a chug of water as your band switched instruments.

"Are you having fun tonight!" You asked the crowd who had fought tooth and nail for tickets. The crowd screamed back louder than before.

Selling out MSG for completely insane even after touring the country with your band three times. It was still a little jarring, going from a nobody with untapped potential to selling out concerts and very successful albums, in all honesty.

"That's what I like to hear!" You beamed, pushing a strand of your unruly hair away from your face. Your eyes momentarily cast to the side stage with the equipment hiding the crew, "I have a surprise for you. A couple years ago, I had a spontaneous duet partner during one of Songbird Shenanigans. I'd like to invite my fiance Charlie out here."

The crowd went nuts as Charlie wandered towards you from the side of the stage away from Owen, Jeremy and Madison. Charlie's hazel eyes scoured the oceans of your e/c eyes he got to wake up to each morning. Mostly when Julie and the Phantoms had been offered to open for you; to be frank, it was more of an unspoken co-headlining.

"Can we tell?" You asked, keeping the mic covered and away from your body. Your body bounced, waiting for the smile from him.

Charlie nodded, accepting the guitar from one of the crew members. It was a song you had written a few months back. Charlie had memorized the entire piece with the deep adoration he felt for it.

The couple perched on the bar stools brought to the middle of the stage with a secret smile. One that only they and their immediate family understood.

Three months ago, you had sat Charlie down in your home to play him a little song that changed everything.

Charlie placed the last bag of groceries on the counter when he felt arms wrap around his midsection. He immediately knew that it was you welcoming him home from a very short trip to the store. In a swift move, he had manoeuvred you to sit on the counter while he scooched himself between your legs.

"Hi." Charlie breathed, rising to press a kiss against the smooth skin of your cheek, leaving heat in its wake.

"I want your opinion on a song." You burst out, unable to refrain from showing him a song you had been secretly working on. The French Canadian was beyond intrigued by the sudden announcement from his fiance.

"Oh?"

"Come." You coaxed the man from the kitchen to the designated music room filled with instruments of all kinds—even a recent addition of a recording booth in the corner with high-end equipment.

You bypassed everything for the grand piano you didn't play as often as you wished to be able to. Your fingers brushed the ivory keys for a mere second before you began playing the melody.

I, I have known love before

I thought it would no more

Take on a new direction

Still, strange as it seems to be

It's truly new to me

That affection

The smile that grew across Charlie's expressive face was uncapturable from the best of the best; he adored your voice. He had a personal ringtone you had explicitly done for him a few months into the relationship.

I, I don't know what you do

You make me think that you

Will change my life forever

I, I'll always want you near

Give up on you, my dear

I will never

You thrill me, you delight me

You please me, you excite me

You're all that

I've been yearning for

I love you, I adore you

I lay my life before you

I only want you more and more

And finally it seems

My lonely days are through

I've been waiting for you

Charlie's frown, however, faltered as your face ever so slightly paled with trepidation coating your pretty irises. Your voice even quivered with nerves he'd never heard before, but it made sense from the third verse started.

I'll carry you all the way

And you will choose the day

When you're prepared to greet me

I'll be a good mum, I swear

You'll see how much I care

When you meet me

You finished the song with the last note drawn out ever so softly, freezing as the room went quiet once more. This song was definitely vulnerable and personal; you felt naked under Charlie's silent stare.

"You're really?" Charlie breathlessly chuckled, his wide eyes screaming disbelief.

After a few years together with an engagement ring on both of your fingers after you had both proposed to each other, with the relationship very serious, you two had decided to stop contraceptives and let everyone happen if it was too happen.

"Yeah." You laughed as he swept you off the bench into his arms, "We have little Birdie to prepare for."

"I love you so damn much." Charlie choked out, spinning the two of you around in his arms. The smile never fading as he drank in the special moment of learning you had created a life together.

PRESENT

"With the impending arrival of our child, I will be taking a break to prepare. Even though I wouldn't be performing, I will still do Songbird Shenanigans. I'll just have to up my game on staying as hidden as possible." You informed the audience as the song came to an end. 

Next thing you knew, you couldn't discern between the crowd and your friends now on stage screaming. You were able to feel Charlie's hand on your barely-there baby bump and his lips pressed against your temple.

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@safehavenmuse @siennanoelle01 @whiterose291 @mell-bell @blackhood5sos @ficrecsideblog @ifilwtmfc @deadpoolgirl23 @crappy-unicorn @sunsetcurve-h @elioelioeli0 @lovesanimals @popcrone818 @lolychu @deepsleepnat @tenaciousperfectionunknown @aunicornmademedoit @just-a-writer-here @simp4reggie @faithiebrock01 @overlyhypedup @differentsoulrascalsalad @aesthetic-lyss @versaceapa @carleywhittaker @lostgirl219 @itsalexx21 @elllaoo4 @merxxleighann @mediocremunge @fantomlovesjuke4ever @dpaccione @oswin05 @kaylinfayezink @aberette13 @faithie-brock-gillespie01 @eharvey0218 @overlyhypedup @benstormy @auriandthepussicats @sarcasticsagittarius1998 @whothefuckstolemykeds  @siriuswvrld @princessvader15 @xoxbloodreinaxox @heimdoodle @joshy-obx @lovesanimals @oopsiedoopsie23 @am3l1a-24 @flying-solo-without-you @jaskiers-sweetkiss @lostrandomfangirln @must-be-a-weasley-92 @jatp-holland @ilikealotofpeople-younotsomuch @dxlanhxlland @dasexydevitt13 @ifilwtmfc @arianagrandes-things @kinda-really-lost @marinettepotterandplagg @ssprayberrythings @morgandamrose @thedarkqueenofavalon @zukoshonourr @crybabyddl @spooky-season-bitch @kcd15 @morganayennefertyrell @magnet-girl @all-in-fangirl @kinda-really-lost @tenaciousperfectionunknown @badwolf00593 @blowakissbabe @talksoprettyjjx @thesweetestsinner @kaitieskidmore1 @writerinlearning @aiofheavenandhell @sageellsworth05 @link-102 @thesweetestsinner @merceret​ @imsydneywalker​ @sunsetcurvej @nicoledawson5604 @merceret​ @kexrtiz​ @biqherosix @lukewearingbeanies​ @dangersolns @soverignparker

[mokonahapuuuuuu]

Ever since I've been disowned by my mother and both sides of my relatives, I find it so easy to slide into the cracks of being a jerk. I don't know what it is, the names I've been called by my relatives, or their shallow values of trying to get into the popular crowd, or to be like uber good looking like a plastic Kardashian. I don't know... I used to value being the bigger person, be kind, thanks to the Japanese anime and manga. To accept myself, freak show and all. And now, the people related to me can't even accept that I'm a total freak. It's like my relatives are saying "oh, you were picked on. Was it because you were always a freak?!" (Yeah, I know you were a loser when you were in high school, and are teaching your kids to be in the in crowd through sports and make up. F** OFF, social climber.) If I were to go back in time and go to high school again, the haters would be like "oh, your family doesn't want you. Is it because you're a freak? No wonder you don't have any friends." This was actually said to me. "If you weren't so 'special' you'd have more friends." My own mother is also ashamed that I was born different. When I saw people I knew from high school in grade 12 I messed up, and when we got home, she made fun of me for it in the most grossest way possible. I don't know... If only I were more meaner in high school, if I were more of a bully... maybe people would like me. 

[cilliansaccent]

The Peaky Designer - Cillian Fanfic, Chapter 16

Hello, welcome back. Below is the next instalment of my fanfiction!

Leave a like or a comment if you liked it, or if I can do anything better! Please, it would mean the world and to understand if anyone is enjoying my writing. Also, sharing/reblogging would be even better.

PLEASE READ:

I will not be including Cillian’s family as it’s kinda weird since he has children lmao. Just a mention of his parents and a previous lover.

I will indicate in a chapter if there is smut in the beginning and before the actual scene!!

I will add trigger warnings if there is any!!

There is a variety of levels of swearing during a chapter, I will not hold back, everyone swears.

The timestamp for the Fic is now 2016 and onwards!!

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Background: Gabrijela Babic is a Croatian girl from Sydney, Australia. She is born in the year 1991 on the 24th of December. She studies a Fashion degree in a University with a major in Game Design as well. Her teacher in the fashion designer class managed to nail an Internship on the set of Peaky Blinders with the shows very own Costume Designer, Allison McCosh. There, she travels to London for under a year to learn how to be one, working alongside the actors as well the man she admires, Cillian Murphy. But, her platonic feelings for the man begins to grow into something more, and she wonders whether she should pursue them or let him go for fear of her strict parents and her three older brothers…

Characters:

Swantje Paulina as Gabrijela Babic (swalina on Instagram)

Cillian Murphy

Word Count: 3,497

!!Warnings!!: Major sex scene at the end. 

Date: January 2017

Chapter Name: One Last Time

Brief Chapter Outline: Cillian and Gabrijela spend their last day together doing whatever they can before they end it with some heated passion...

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Cillian's brother dropped them at the airport before he bid farewell to them both. It was another early morning start but they had to get home as early as possible so Gabrijela could start packing and figuring out what to send via post. They checked in, wandered around the airport for a bit and ate before they headed through to the boarding gate. As they sat and waited, Cillian had his arm around her shoulder, his cheek against her head that rested on his shoulder. 

She scrolled through her Instagram, she remembered he had caught her on her fandom account and she was red-faced when she showed him what she posted. It was a multifandom account, and she posted various textposts, fan art and the like of her favourite books or TV Shows. "Still makes me chuckle you posted such old photos of me with those funny captions or whatever you'd call them." Cillian murmured. She rolled her eyes, "Shut up. I was and still am a dedicated fan!" "Well, now you are more than a fan to me." He pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Mhm." She tilted her head back and kissed him softly before she resumed her scrolling. But before she was going to tuck her phone away she came across a photo in the explore section of the app. "Oh, good god." She whispered in shock, "Cilly look." She showed him a photo of them both. It was more distanced but blurry so you couldn't make it out who she was really. It was when they were waiting at the airport coming to Cork. "Who took it?" He looked at it, frowning. He knew she wouldn't post anything of their relationship online, they had a talk about it and she was super respectful about it. "No idea. Just says someone had taken it. Maybe it's from Twitter." She felt worry ease into her. She hoped there weren't other sneaky photos of her and Cillian online. She never really said she was going overseas to her online fanbase either, just to her close friends back at home and the ones she made at Uni. "I'm sorry." He said as he ran his hand up and down her arm. "What for?" She looked up at him, confused as to why he would apologise. "For that." He gestured to the photo, "I should have been more thoughtful of those things." He began to let her go. "Cillian, no. Hey," she took his hands as she faced him, "I knew that something like this would happen on the end. I don't want it to ruin what we have." She didn't want him holding back on her when they were out in public. "I don't want you to be plastered all over the internet, either." He squeezed her hands. "I mean, my face is already on the internet. My accounts are not private." She shrugged. "I'll take a look on Twitter but... It doesn't bother me much. Unless you don't want the word going out about you being with someone." "I don't really like the idea of people being too into someone else's life. I'm just concerned about how it would be interpreted by everyone." He said. "Mm. I agree. They can be quite cruel. I've seen how people can react to their idols being with someone else... But again, Cillian, I don't want to like... Not be romantic when we are out in public. I want us to be just us, holding hands and all that. I couldn't care less what online haters would think about." She cupped his jaw. "Are you sure?" He asked. "I am. I can handle it. Besides, if there is an issue, who cares hm? They don't know us." She kissed him lightly. "If you say so." He said as his arm went back around her and they resumed their position. He would still be worried either way.   It was time to board and they detached themselves from each other and picked up their bags. They lined up with the other people, holding hands. She would not let the online images hurt them. When it came to showing affection, she didn't want to hide it. "Um, excuse me," Someone tapped Gab on her shoulder. She turned to see three girls looking at them keenly, "Are you dating Cillian?" She asked, eyes darting to their held hands and to Cillian who also turned to see them. They seemed quite surprised at the sight of Gabrijela, she could see it in their eyes. Cillian had replied instead, "We are. Why do you ask?" "There are rumours online, uh, photos popping up. The fans are uh, going crazy about it. Kinda a big deal, cause no one um... well expected..." She trailed off when Gab and Cillian turned away to get through the gates. Gabrijela gave Cillian a little giggle as they stepped through and headed down the hallway. "Seems like more photos." He said, frowning deeply. "It's fine Cillian, don't stress." She squeezed his hand. They got into the plane and took their seats, this time he was beside the window. The whole ordeal started up again but Cillian comforted her, and she settled faster with his gentle and caring words. She cuddled him throughout the trip, the turbulence was pretty bad as they went through a storm. He wrapped his jacket around her shoulders and made the scarf that she stole from him as a pillow on his shoulder. But after an hour and a half or so, they landed safely and got off the plane. The girls that spoke to them before seemed to follow them. "We got a bit of a party following us," Gabrijela said to Cillian as they headed towards the many taxis that waited. He glanced over his shoulder and chuckled, "It seems so." He hailed down a taxi and got their stuff into the boot before he held open the door for her. "Tough they won't see much anymore." She laughed and got into the car and he got in after her. It was nice to be back home now, they headed upstairs and she laid on his bed, "Ooooo," She groaned, "Cillys bed... So good." She giggled as he crawled up over her, laying down on her but not enough to crush her. He kissed her neck, "You miss it?" He asked. She giggled, "Yeah I did." She turned so she was now looking up at him. She leaned up and kissed him, "We gotta keep moving though. I have to go back to the apartment to pack up the remaining things there and clean up." He nodded and got off her. They had a quick bite before they headed over to her apartment. They packed up whatever she had left behind into his car before they cleaned up the place. She threw out most of the old food that was left behind. The apartment was just like how she came to it. She had taken off the sheets to and left them as a neat pile. She left a wonderful card and a wine behind for the owner of the apartment before she finally said goodbye to the place. Heading back to Cillian's home, she spent it packing up her stuff. But she kept most of her souvenirs in her suitcase all wrapped up in clothing. She didn't want to send it via parcel. She had packed the majority, leaving out her new set of clothing for tomorrow. Every other bits and piece was easy to just shove into her carry-on. Cillian came up the stairs to see how she was going, "Damn you are quick," He said. "Yeah. Just need a scale to weigh the bag." She said. "Got it." He went to the wardrobe and pulled out the scale. They weighed and she had some more room to add a few more clothing in. Now she had two small piles of clothing to send off. "Let's head to the post office now." She said and they headed off. They did what they had to do, and she made sure she was to pay for the fees of the parcel. Since it was a nice day, Cillian decided to take her out to St. James' park to have brunch. He had a blanket in the back and they headed in a nicer part of the park, a little secluded. They set up and Cillian went to a nearby cafe he liked to buy them food. In the meantime, Gabrijela spoke to her dad on the phone and listened to him ask if she had everything packed and whatnot. He would call her in the morning before she would leave as well. She laid back on the blanket, a hand over her tummy. She listened to the hum of the city and the voices of people around her. Cillian returned with a bag, "I'm back. Bit of a hold-up but I'm here." He grinned as he sat down beside her. She sat up, "Thanks babe," She smiled and helped him take the stuff out. "Whatcha get?" "I got us both eggs and bacon, I got you hot chocolate as well. I also got capers for myself." He said. "Thank you," She leaned over and kissed him deeply. "Love you." "Love you too," He said and pecked at her lips before they both dug into their food. They finished up and Cillian disposed of their rubbish before he came back and they laid back together. She snuggled close to his chest, his arm around her shoulders. "I'm gonna miss this," She said, stroking his chest. "Same." He played with her hair, running his fingers through it. "You gonna miss me?" She looked up at him. "Of course I will. So much." He cupped her face. "I will make sure we can talk as much as possible, video and all." She said, leaning up to kiss him. "Sounds good." He murmured, kissing her back. They held each other for a bit like that, totally in their own world as they kissed slowly. They finally broke apart and packed up before he went back to the car to leave the blanket and came back to her. They took a walk around the park and Cillian listened to her talk about how she was going to dread going back in for the last year of her University course. "I've been doing good in my game design as well, so I might see if I can get into that." She said. "Not costume designing?" Cillian asked. "Dunno, I enjoyed it but... I was quite stressed. I don't like the feeling." She laughed softly. "But I'll see." They came back to the car and headed home. When she stepped through the door, Cillian closed it and then pulled her against him. She gasped, "What are you doing?" She laughed as he began to pepper her neck with kisses. "Kissing you." He said, his hands resting on her hips before they snaked up to cup her breasts. "I think you want more than kisses, babe." She moaned softly as he gripped them tightly. She was pushed up against a wall, "Cilly." He kept fondling her breasts, then began to unbutton her blouse and discarded it aside. She smirked and pushed her ass against his crotch, then began to grind against him. "Mmm babe, you like that huh?" She purred. His hands returned to her hips, "I do. Keep doing that love." He watched how she moved against him, his hands now moved back up her sides before he turned her around and kissed her deeply, his fingers tangling in her hair. She moaned as she gripped his shirt, lifting it up before she pulled it over his head. "I want... I want you to use something on me." She blushed, running her hands down his soft skin along his arms. "Yeah? What is it?" He kissed her again. "It's in the bedroom. Let's go there." She took his hand as he picked up their shirts and headed upstairs. She opened up her suitcase and pulled out a black bag. Then she held out an eight-inch long vibrator that was a sparkly purple. "I'm going to be honest, I've never seen them in person." Cillian laughed as he came over, taking it from her. "No?" She raised a brow, "Then where did you see it? In porn?" She brushed past him and laid on the bed, smirking. "Maybe." He chuckled and turned to her, "So you want me to tease you with this?" He turned it on. "Yeah." She nodded, parting her legs despite still got her pants on. He brought it to her crotch, and held it against her and watched how she let out a moan. "Mmm, let's take off these pants first." He said as he waited for her to take her jeans off and throw it aside. He got on the bed, kneeling between her legs as he returned the vibe to her core. She sucked in a breath, gripping the sheets. He had it on a low setting, stroking her up and down through her panties. "Ah..." She laid back, eyes closed as she enjoyed the feeling. "Cilly..." "We should turn it up now, don't want you to enjoy this too much." He said and turned it even higher. She gasped, bringing her legs up. "No, keep them down." He pinned them between his thigh and calves. She whined. Cillian continued to tease her, letting the tip roll over her clit which caused her back to arch then he dragged it back down and then inserted the toy into her. He pushed her leg open with one hand, eyes flicking from her core to her face. "God, Gabrijela." He loved the pleasure on her face, the need and desperation in her eyes. "Cillian! Please! I'm close!" She whined, twisting the sheets in her hands. "Not yet, love. Hold on for me." He said and pushed the toy in and out of her. He let go of her legs and leaned down, and wrapped his lips around her clit and began to suck hard. Her hands shot into his hair, the vibrations of the toy was intense and he kept pushing it against her g-spot. "Fuck! Cillian! Cilly!" She bucked her hips, her screams loud as she came, arching right off the bed. He kept going till she was done, groaning softly as he pulled the toy out, seeing how slick it was with her climax. "Fastest climax ever." He chuckled, kissing up her thigh to sit back. She panted, "I need you in me, Cillian. Oh god." She shook her head. "Mm, but you asked me to use this on you. So I will." He mused, "Lay on your side." She moved to her side as he got behind her, an arm went under her head and locked around her chest. He brought the vibrator back to her clit and began to tease her once more. "N-Not right after a climax! Fuck!" She stayed still for him, she wanted to be good for him. But she couldn't help but buck her hips. "Be still, love. Don't move too much." He kissed her neck, sucking on a spot. She whimpered, clinging to his arms that were around her, god he was relentless as he continued to prod and poke her sensitive clit. But then he decided to push it into her and she arched her back a little. "Cillian!" He claimed her lips once more and kissed her as he thrust the vibrator inside her, she was super slick so it moved in and out swiftly but he could feel when she clenched her walls the vibe got stuck. Gabrijela reached up and dragged her fingers through her hair, "I need you, Cillian, I want you inside me. Please." She begged, rolling her hips. "Yeah? How bad?" He tugged on her bottom lip. "Really bad, Cilly. Please don't make me wait." She could feel his hard cock press against her ass through his jeans. He let out a grunt and got her to hold the vibrator inside her as he pulled off his pants. Then he was back up against her, and removed the vibrator, "Tuck me in, love." He nibbled on her earlobe. She reached between her legs and found his waiting cock, "So hard, baby." She giggled and positioned him to her entrance. Then she tugged him and he was inside her in one swift movement. They both moaned in unison, "Hold your leg up, Gab." He kissed her neck then to her shoulder. She lifted her leg up and he placed the vibrator back on to her clit. She cried out softly, and he felt her walls tighten around him. "Mmm fuck, Gabrijela. Do that again." She nodded and clenched her walls, she could feel every hard inch of him, especially when he started to move. "Shit." She gasped. He kept his eyes focused on her face, enjoying how tight she was and how he managed to drag those cute little sounds from her. He thought about how lucky he was to have her as his girlfriend. He had wished for someone to come into his life and here she was. Here they were, making love. He loved her, truly, he loved her. He could not bring himself to think of any other woman but her. And his heart would hurt when she was no longer warming his bed. Gabrijela looked up, seeing the pure love and devotion in his eyes. "Cillian, I love you." She said through a moan, "I love you so much! Oh!" She could feel her climax start to build again, and this one was gonna be a big one. "I love you too, beautiful. Oh fuck, I love you!" He kissed her hard, pounding hard into her, the bed shaking a little. He will miss her. So he threw aside the vibrator, turning it off and laid her on her back and pushed right back into her with a groan. Her legs locked around his thighs and her arms around his back, her nails digging into his skin. "Fuck! Mark me Gabrijela, fuck." He cursed and kissed her again as her nails scraped down his skin. He moved fast and wild, all he wanted was to please her. Make sure she would feel this for days when she would return back to her home. "Mine!" He cried out, "You're mine, Gabbie." "All yours baby. I'm all yours." She cupped his face and kissed him passionately but it was messy as from his fast thrusting. "I'm gonna cum, Cilly. Oh god, don't stop. Oh please!" Cillian worked hard, panting hard, his moans loud and cracked occasionally before they got faster and faster before his climax tore through him like wildfire. She screamed out his name as she came with him, she felt his warm load fill her inside up as she clenched and locked him in as she finished with him. After some moments they calmed down, but he stayed on top of her and inside her. His head was tucked into her neck and kissing her flushed skin. She ran her hands up and down his back slowly, admiring the curves of his spine and the divots of his muscles in his shoulders. "My handsome man," She whispered, her fingers returning to the nape of his neck and playing with the soft curls of his hair. He let out a soft chuckle, "My beautiful woman." He said as he raised his head to look at her. "My love." He touched her cheek, stroking her skin with a thumb. "I love you with all my heart, Cillian." She said, leaning into the touch. He gave her that breathtaking smile and they kissed for some time, and when they managed to get their breath back they got back into lovemaking. It was slow and gentle, then hard and fast with many different positions. Any position that had her against his body. After they have worn each other out, they bathed and then spent the rest of the afternoon together in his home. He pulled out his guitar and sang for her, then made her the best dinner ever, watched a cute romantic film before they drank red wine in front of the fire. They never parted from each other, every minute they wanted to be close. And despite being worn out, they made love one more time in front of the fire. She rode him till he came twice in her before he lifted her up and carried her to bed. He laid her down and they cuddled naked, she faced him and snuggled into his chest. Today was a wonderful day, and she would remember it forever. "I love you," She said in the dark. "I love you too," Cillian replied, kissing her head before they both fell asleep holding each other.

[tisthenightofthewitch]

How Ghost became the face of the new generation of heavy metal

Pressure. Controversy. An army of haters. It seems like nothing can throw Ghost off-course. How Ghost's mastermind Tobias Forge took on the world… and won

Paris, tell me… did that make your asses wobble?” It sure as hell isn’t “Scream for me, Hammersmith!”  but somehow, inexplicably, this flirty, moustached, makeup-splattered dandy wiggling about in a tux and leather gloves has 9,000 people in the palm of his hand like he’s Bruce Dickinson in ’86. Hammer is at hallmark gig venue Le Zenith in France’s capital city, witnessing Ghost deliver their latest sermon.

The City Of Love might be frozen solid on this chilly February evening, but the unstoppable Swedes are heating things up in style – fire, steam cannons, confetti, a dazzling light show and enough costume changes to make Lady Gaga dizzy are just some of the ingredients reaffirming their status as one of metal’s premier attractions in 2019.

It all makes a two-hour set fly by in no time, guided masterfully by that  aforementioned, ’tache-donning Daddy. Cardinal Copia, Ghost’s Master Of Ceremonies, raised a few confused eyebrows when he was unveiled this time last year, breaking an eight-year streak of Papa Emerituses who’d fronted Ghost since its inception. But he’s since become the beating heart of a band that have continued to evolve, grow and adapt beyond all expectations.

He’s also a world away from the blue-eyed, slick-black-haired, quiet and thoughtful man we spent time with two hours earlier, dressed in jeans and a hoodie, decidedly sans-moustache and doing much less wiggling.

When Hammer last spoke to Tobias Forge, he’d recently (some may say forcefully) been outed as Ghost’s resident mastermind – its very own Wizard Of Oz, working behind the scenes and behind the mask to help orchestrate one of the most unlikely success stories of recent times.

We are creating a dynasty.

Soon after our last conversation, Ghost dropped their latest album, Prequelle – an instant classic stacked with playful menace and 80s-tinged pop-rock bangers – and have pretty much been on the road ever since.

“Hey, if you wanna rock, you gotta rock,” shrugs Tobias of his relentless schedule. “It takes a lot of effort, a lot of cogwheels spinning and turning, to make all this work.” He’s not kidding.

A weary roadie will later inform us that it takes almost four hours to pack up Ghost’s monstrous set each night – a towering, multi-platformed, chapel-esque set-up that recalls the kind of backdrops Maiden have made home for decades. “But, once you’ve got that whole machine rolling, you don’t wanna stop,” Tobias adds. “At some point, we will have to wind down a bit, but we’re not there yet.

If you wanna be comparative, look at all the big bands; even though they made it in a different time, statistically it takes five records, about 10 years, to go from nothing to something to something great.”

And that, right there, sums up Tobias Forge. The reason Ghost have been such a triumph isn’t because of great songs, a good live show and a savvy gimmick – metal history is littered with bands that never made it despite boasting all those things.

The difference is that Tobias is the man with the plan. He may not be the tortured artiste or swaggering hellraiser that rock’n’roll loves to stick on a pedestal, but he’s a leader: a brand ambassador with a calculating mind and a shrewd business acumen who knows exactly what needs to be done to immortalise Ghost’s legacy.

He’s playing the game, and he’s winning. And if you look hard enough, the seeds for it all were being sown right at the very start.

“You can find all the details in my record collection,” he says with a knowing smirk – and he’s not wrong. Before Cardinal Copia, there were Papa Emeritus I, II and III – a line of frontmen that not only enabled Ghost to set up a deep-running narrative, but change up the formula and the image for every album cycle. Sound familiar? It should – it’s what rock’n’roll superstars have been doing for decades.

"I’ve always been a big fan of Kiss,” he continues. “Most Kiss fans can tell the era [of the band] by the photo, what they’re wearing. You can say, ‘That is ’75, that is ’76, it’s in the spring, it’s in the fall, it’s Rock And Roll Over, it’s Destroyer.’ So I figured that in order for this band to age, we need to create dynasties.

"And that way, there’ll also be nostalgia. Because I come from a heavy metal background, I know how important nostalgia is, and the attention span nowadays is so short, so you need to create it quickly. You need people to be able to say, ‘I was there when this part happened.’ That’s why it was always Papa Emeritus I, right from the start.”

It’s a meticulous level of forward-thinking that has come up trumps, but amazingly, you’d have been hard-pushed to find anyone who’d have backed Tobias to carve such a path 10 years ago.

Before 2010, it was with respected Swedish death metallers Repugnant that the Linköping native had had his most ‘success’, his love of rock’s theatrical side flirted with via a splash of corpsepaint and a drop of fake blood here and there.

A spate of EPs and splits and one well-received album, 2006’s Epitome Of Darkness, ensured a small part in heavy metal folklore was guaranteed, but it was what happened next that changed everything.

Channelling his love of catchy NWOBHM mainstays like Angel Witch and Demon, Tobias wrote what would become Stand By Him – an irrepressible schlock-rock anthem a world away from the guttural noise of Epitome…

He called up former Repugnant bandmate Gustaf Lindström to help record it, and more songs quickly followed in the same, earwormy vein – “I’ve always liked the NWOBHM bands that had melody and pop sensibility,” he says today.

But there was still something missing. The songs Tobias was now writing were following a formula that had been laid down since the 70s. It needed something different. Something fun. Something… metal.

Deciding that this new project should carry an image that’d bring it a world away from its influences – a band that, in Tobias’s words, should “sound like Angel Witch but look like Death SS,” he began doodling some ideas. One scribble stuck – the image of a Pope-like character, plastered in ghoulish corpsepaint. Papa Emeritus was born.

I was 29 years old. I wasn't going to get another chance at this.

“And as soon as it was confirmed that he’s gonna be a Pope… well, when a Pope dies, you have a new one!” adds Tobias with a laugh. Soon after Papa I came the idea for the Nameless Ghouls – masked, anonymous backing musicians that’d add to the band’s hokey mystique.

By 2009, the project had an image, some songs and a name: Ghost. But it’d be a little while before things started to move forwards, and Tobias’s grand plan would take shape.

Between 2008 and 2009, there were maybe 20 people who knew about Ghost,” says Tobias, who ended up fronting the band through default after unsuccessfully offering the gig to a variety of names from around the metal scene.

“The guys in In Solitude, the guys in Tribulation, the guys in Watain… they were the only people who knew about it! But I knew at that point that it was gonna have the ability to turn heads, because it made everyone [excited].

"Repugnant were popular, but nothing I had ever done had had such an immediate impact on people. They were all like, ‘Ghost! I wanna hear more!’ I knew that there was gonna be some sort of buzz.”

A “buzz” is an understatement. When Ghost’s first songs were finally made public – on MySpace, no less – things began to move very, very quickly. Metal messageboards were set ablaze with excitement and offers came flooding in.

“I was quickly in touch with Will from Rise Above,” notes Tobias now, and he would eventually accept a deal with Lee Dorrian’s much-respected label. An album, Opus Eponymous, was recorded, and the metal underground waited with baited breath for its new favourite band to deliver on the hype. And yet, even at this stage, Tobias wasn’t totally certain just how far things would go.

“Originally, I thought that Ghost was gonna become more like a theatre/installation sort of band, like Sunn O))),” he reveals. “We would play Roadburn, arthouse concerts, five dates at the London Scala, that sort of thing.”

So a kind of ‘event’ band. You’d show up to play special shows and residencies.

“Exactly,” he confirms. “I never thought we would be the band that would play metal festivals, play in daylight, play with other bands.”

But then more offers started steaming in. Suddenly Ghost – with not so much as a gig to their name – were being asked to go on tours, play festivals and do interviews. For Tobias, there was a straight decision to be made: keep this project as a ‘cult attraction’, stay within the underground and become everyone’s favourite ‘Oh, you wouldn’t have heard of them’ reference point, or take a leap into the unknown and reach for greatness.

For a man that had spent years keeping a lid on his grand ambitions, now was the time to sink or swim. And, really, there was only ever going to be one option.

“I wasn’t gonna get another chance,” he states flatly. “I was already 29 years old at the time, so it was like, ‘This is the train and it’s leaving now.’ You can choose to stay, and sit there and fucking wonder all your life, or you can get on.”

Tobias got on the train, and it hasn’t stopped rolling. Opus Eponymous was released on October 18, 2010, and within three years intimate club shows became packed-out academy shows in front of 5,000 people, and soon after that the band could be seen supporting everyone from Metallica to Foo Fighters to Iron Maiden.

They won a Grammy for Cirice (and have been nominated for two more); they’ve been championed by everyone from James Hetfield to Phil Anselmo; their merch has become obscenely big business, t-shirts selling out in no time at gigs (including the show Hammer attends tonight) and the Ghost IP being plastered across everything from baubles to butt plugs to custom plague masks.

Tobias has manoeuvred that quick sketch of a spooky lad in a Pope hat into a machine Gene Simmons would be proud of, all underpinned by a storyline that has fans salivating as they wait for the next chapter to be revealed.

And if there was any doubt that this is still very much Tobias’s baby, you need only look at the casualty list littered with names that have crossed him. There are the disgruntled ex-bandmates who attempted to bring a lawsuit against Tobias in 2017 after claiming they were denied their rightful share of the Ghost pot.

The lawsuit was thrown out in October last year, his former colleagues ordered to pay Tobias’s legal costs (around $145,000, if you’re counting). There was also the Sister Imperator incident, where the elderly Ghost matriarch and star of their ongoing vignette series had to be swiftly recast after a mysterious falling out.

“All of a sudden, you’ve an actress who decides to start making fucking trouble and makes herself unemployable,” Tobias says. “Well, then you have to do what they do in any soap opera… a car accident.” That’s not allegorical, by the way.

Tobias literally had a new vignette made revealing that the Sister was in a car wreck and needed reconstructive surgery. The new actress was brought in so smoothly that many Ghost fans assumed it was the same person with a different haircut. How’s that for efficient?

“That’s how you solve things,” the frontman shrugs. “But that was not planned at first, because we’d been working with the same actress for three years, and then all of a sudden, things fell apart. But, you have to roll with the punch, you have to bite your finger, and come up with another plan… car accident. Boom.”

That Tobias won’t be moved on what actually happened between he and the original actress is understandable – after all, this is a man that spent years holding his cards close to his chest.

That this all managed to play out under the noses of one of modern metal’s most fanatical fanbases, however, is pretty damn impressive. Basically: don’t cross the boss.

While Tobias’s masterplan may seem iron-clad, he will at least admit that there is room for fine-tweaking along the way. He recently revealed that Cardinal Copia’s character could stick around for another five years and multiple albums – a first for Ghost, who have thus far changed up their protagonist for every record.

“That’s just because of the potential of him being a ‘Pope’ or a Papa Emeritus IV,” he explains, before adding: “If he becomes a Papa Emeritus.”

So there could be multiple endings planned for Cardi C?

“Absolutely. All of this is an organic movement, and that is one of the biggest paradoxes for me, as a control freak. To be part of this living world, I can’t control everything. I can control a lot, and I can influence a lot, but I can’t control it [all]. And coming to terms with those things and accepting that is a big struggle for me.”

He’ll also admit that being the mastermind behind a machine as big and ever-evolving as Ghost has had a serious impact on his personal life. Being a part of a successful band is one thing, but having that success rest almost entirely on your shoulders is something altogether different.

“It’s very hard to do this without any casualties,” he muses. “It takes a toll on your surroundings, your crew, your parents, your children… I have two kids, 10 years old. They were toddlers when this whole thing started. My family’s had to endure a lot for this to happen.”

He’s also had to face up to the reality that being in a big rock band means you’re going to attract the attention of

a fair few haters – and Ghost have an army of them. Check out Hammer’s Facebook page to see the dizzying levels of vitriol that a post about Ghost will attract. Recurring issues seem to be accusations of selling out, anger at Tobias’s treatment of his former bandmates and, most commonly, whether Ghost belong in our world at all (and to be fair, you’d be hard-pushed to describe Prequelle as a true heavy metal record by any standards).

“I’ve noticed it,” says Tobias. “I noticed it in the beginning. I think that it’s the same old discussion. ‘Is Ghost a metal band?’ ‘Are we a clone of Mercyful Fate?’ It’s the same old thing. But now these people are saying the new record is not as good because it’s not as much of a clone of Mercyful Fate! OK…”

Why do you think Ghost wind people up so much?

“Because we are ever-present, all the time. We are being shoved into people’s faces, and we’re rubbing it in. They wouldn’t talk about us had we not been successful. Does it worry me? Not really. If they’re talking shit about me, that’s one thing,  especially if it’s someone that I know. That can hurt me deeply. When you’re at the beginning of your career, especially nowadays, you spend a lot of time surveying what’s going on, because you need to feed off anything that’s happening to the band. So I noticed there was a lot of ‘controversy’, a lot of mixed opinions. It’s surprising they don’t understand that the more they talk about us, the more traffic there is about our band. More than we would have had had they not spoken!”

Once again, it’s there: the unnerving feeling that Tobias is metal’s modern-day puppet master, pulling the strings above a performance that we all continue to play our parts in. Whether it’s the media, his fans, his critics or the few who have attempted to foil him, everything only ever seems to play into his hands, and the Ghost train rolls on.

“A few months ago, based on metadata alone, a website made a list

of the biggest bands in metal,” Tobias reveals as a PR informs us our time together is up. “We were number four! Right up there. And that’s thanks to these people that keep on fucking hating. So I have nothing but great feelings for them.”

He makes to leave before adding: “That’s how all these bands made their careers. You think Lars would shy away every time people would talk shit about Metallica? Fuck. That.”

Hated, adored but never ignored. This summer, Ghost will play in front of stadium crowds with Metallica once again – something Tobias calls a “PR exercise” – before more global dates and, eventually, a new album that’ll reveal the next chapter of his grand plan. You can imagine that people will have plenty to say about it. And you can imagine that Tobias Forge is going to relish every second.

ALL RIGHTS OWNED BY METAL HAMMER

[daydreamindollie]

p.jm | power couple

pairing: p.jimin x f.reader

summary: Your performance at MAMA catches Jimin by surprise.

length: 1.5k

A/N: This is completely unedited, I'm sorry! Please excuse any grammatical mistakes or anything that doesn't sound right. I'll be sure to come back and edit this in the future, however, I promise you that! Anyway, this was a request of @joyful-jimin​ I hope you enjoy the read, any feedback (as long as it's constructive) is welcome! Thank you for taking the time to read this!

masterlist

Your favorite sound, other than the voice of your beloved, is the audience's cheers and cries for you. Even before you have fully risen to the stage, their exhilarated incantation of your name shook the structures surrounding you and had you biting back a grin.

From within your chest, your heart pumps exuberantly, driving adrenaline to rush through your veins with a force that almost has your capillaries bursting. It's the best feeling. All ounces of fear and doubt have expelled from your mind; you no longer anticipated failure or disappointment as you leave the responsibility of your routine to muscle memory. For hours, you have worked yourself to exhaustion for this solo performance and you wouldn't even dream of bringing dismay to the fans and people that believed in you.

Most importantly of all, you want to make Jimin proud. He was right beside you, every step of the way, as you choreographed this dance. He was there when you glowed in excitement for the opportunity to prove your worth and was there when you were about to be reduced into sore muscles and brittle bones. When the whole world felt as though it was weighing down on you instead of Atlas, he was there, he was always there and you want to make him proud.

You also have something to prove to those watching you too closely. Now that your relationship with the Park Jimin has been made public, people have associated everything you do with Jimin as if he was the one that made you who you were today when that was not the case. Deep in your heart, all of your love was for Jimin only but it was your own hard work that has led to your success and led to Jimin's fondness of you.

All of the trophies you've won tonight wasn't because of Jimin, it was because of your hard work. Jimin was there to support you and you never undermined that but this stage is yours and everything was choreographed by you. If you let yourself believe that the people who said that Jimin was the only reason for your success, then your relationship would turn toxic very very quickly and you shiver at the thought of that.

Tonight, you were going to prove yourself worthy of your own success and rub it in their face that this was all because of you and nobody else.

In silence and styled in a white ruffled mesh gown, you rose to the stage, your make up peachy but natural-toned to accentuate your already natural beauty. Gasps of the audience were followed by a loud cheer as the music began. You were to dance to your third solo album's title song. The song narrated a love story like that of Romeo and Juliet where the protagonist was born into a status that forbade she ever interact or dare to love the man she couldn't help but fall for.

In the beginning, you focused on elegance and grace, mimicking a ballerina floating on stage. Utilising your elegant but ruffled gown, you further illustrated the ardent sentiment of your protagonist. Every step spoke of your character's unconditional, forbidden love. Your delicate hands made grand demure gestures as your countenance held the glow of love, however, with as the song built up to the climax, an undertone of bitterness and sadness in your expressions grew into a determination to break free of the chains that kept her from the love of her life. Your diffident gesticulations grew bold and exaggerated, reaching a powerful peak and, just as the song reached its crescendo, back up dancers materialised from the shadows, bringing about more lights to add to your spotlight. They tried to hold you back by the ruffles of your dress but you sprang forward, which ripped away your dress to reveal a short black dress that's partially lacy. It clung to your curvy figure as the lace left enough for the imagination to get creative on how the rest of your body looked.

On the screen, people were able to have an eyeful of your outfit before the screen flashed to Jimin's reaction of awe. You hadn't told him anything about a costume change so he was just as surprised as the audience. Jungkook and Taehyung, who sat beside him, started smirking and nudging their elbows into his sides.

"Isn't that your girl, Jimin-ah?~" Jungkook teased as Taehyung chuckled.

"Do you like her in the white dress or the black one, hyung?" Taehyung wriggles his brows suggestively.

"I bet he likes the black one better!"

"AISH! Stop that! I'm gonna miss my Jagi's performance!" he smacks away at them as a blush colours his cheeks a soft pink despite his efforts in not letting their satirising affect him. However, he's sure it was your outfit change that affected him the most.

He wants to cover his face in embarrassment as he didn't want everyone to know how much he liked the costume change. He'll get you for this later. You could've, at least, warned him about it so that he was mentally prepared but no. Jimin didn't turn away or cover his eyes, however, as he knew how hard you worked on this; he knew you'd kill this stage and he doesn't want to miss a single second of it. The crowd's cheers grew even louder after seeing his reaction of you. He's sure that many of them were supporters of your relationship and that made him so happy. It left a good feeling to know that the supporters inundated the negativity of the haters.

He's so proud of you.

Encouraged by the audience's sudden increase of shouts and cheers, you found more energy inside you to finish the song powerfully. Striking a pose as you smiled brightly, sweat dripping from your brow at the heat of the spotlight, waiting for it to fade as you were brought down and the audience's cheering became a soft buzz around you. The adrenaline was still fresh in your veins as you made your way back to your dressing room, ready to gulp down liters of water.

As soon as you closed the door behind you, you were suddenly pulled into an embrace with arms and a warmth that you instantly recognised.

"Jimin!" you squealed with a giggle as he peppers multiple kisses up and down the column of your neck, "Stop that!" you turned your face further away from him, which only gave him more access to your neck for more kisses, eliciting another squeal from you "-'m ticklish!"

"That's what you get for not telling me about that costume change," he huffed with a grin despite the teasing pout you imagined in his voice.

"I'm sorry, okay? Please forgive me," you turned in his arms to wrap your own around his neck and nuzzle into his collar bone, "I just wanted to surprise you...did you like it?" you looked up at him with your big eyes, weakening his knees.  

"I'm sure you already know the answer to that..." he hums with a soft smile as he leans in to give you a kiss that you smile happily into.

The day after yet another one of the greatest nights of your life, you go onto social media and find pictures of your costume change and Jimin's reaction beside each other, everywhere. Biting back a smile, you read the title and itch to call your boyfriend.

'OUR FAVOURITE DANCING POWER COUPLE SHARE A MOMENT ON SCREEN IN MAMA'

'DANCING STAR, (Y/N), LEAVES JIMIN FLUSTERED WITH STUNNING ON STAGE COSTUME CHANGE'

Many fans were enthusiastically praising the interaction, creating fanart, fanfiction and conspiring if you had planned the surprise for Jimin or what, video compilations were also being made of different fancams catching Jimin's reactions of your costume change at different angles.

Everyone was so positive about the interaction but there were also many people commending your growth in dancing abilities and drawing further attention to your latest solo album release. It wasn't just the public either, many of your close friends and your old members were messaging you, congratulating you on such a good night and fangirling over the interaction that you and Jimin had that night.

Just as you think your heart is about to burst with happiness, Jimin starts calling you, "Hey baby," he coos, "I hope you don't mind me calling you so early in the morning but...can you please open the door?"

"Why are you here?" you grin as soon as you open the door, dressed in one of his oversized shirts and just your panties, "not that I'm complaining," you giggle as he scoops you up into his arms and nuzzles his nose into your neck affectionately before kicking the door closed behind him and walking to your bedroom.

"I want to personally congratulate you on last night's performance," his voice was still sweet but had an undertone of something that you couldn't quite place. It wasn't until you looked up and stared into his dark eyes that you realised the true meaning behind his words.

[cleofox-blog1]

☁☼☁ ( indya moore. trans female. 24 ). welcome back to your summer paradise, CLEO FOX we were wondering when you’d finally show up! the town’s really missed how WHIMSICAL you are, even if you can be a bit SPITEFUL at times. we hear back home they call you the BON VIVANT, makes sense considering you remind everyone of SIPPING PERFECTLY-AGED WHISKEY FROM A TEACUP, RIPPED STOCKINGS UNDER SILK DRESSES, POSING ON THE HOOD OF SOMEONE ELSE’S MASERATI, PUTTING ON SHAKESPEARE PLAYS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. ☁☼☁

hello hello! below is some info about my lil beeb cleo fox!

[ trigger warnings for drugs; ]

history:

The lovechild of a whiskey distillery heir and former Playboy playmate of the month, Cleo was born in Nashville, Tennesse and spent the majority of her formative years in the American South. After her birth, Cleo’s parents regularly got together, then broke up, and got together again, effectively creating a pretty dysfunctional early family for the first ten years of her life. While her father sought refuge in the arms of other women, Cleo’s mother found it in drugs — nothing too hard, really, but enough to regularly leave her in a daze. As a result, Cleo pursued the arts early on as a means of stability, finding that it was one of the only school subjects that ever really stuck. She excelled in writing short stories, putting on plays, and playing the piano, and became a darling in the eyes of her father’s Southern high society friends.

Around the age of fifteen, Cleo transitioned. (She’d always known this was her truth, and knew that she would transition regardless of her parents’ feelings.) Her mother was supportive, but far too faded to really object or vehemently support her. Cleo’s father, however, refused to support her publicly, which meant cutting off her ties to his high society friends and sending her off to live with his somewhat estranged mother in New York City.

Her grandmother, a retired Tony-winning actress, was entirely supportive of Cleo, and brought her along to all the awards show parties, fashion shows, to demonstrate her support. She even helped the young girl pick out her new name, and made sure this new chapter of Cleo’s life was as easy and happy as possible. Her grandmother also instilled in her a taste for the finer things in life, as well as the confidence to ask for exactly what she wanted — with a pretty smile on her face, of course.

After graduating from a prestigious high school in NYC, Cleo declined opportunities to go on to learn in the Ivy Leagues like all her friends did, and instead toured around Europe with her grandmother. While her social media painted the perfect picture of croissants and lattes, museums and gardens, nightly parties and luxury suites, the truth was far from it; her grandmother was growing sicker by the day, and chose to spend her remaining time with her beloved granddaughter.

A few months after she turned twenty-two, her grandmother passed away, and left all of her possessions and properties to Cleo, including a NYC brownstone, a house in the Hamptons, and thousands in jewels and clothes — not to mention a hefty trust fund and a 1/5 stake in the family’s distillery company. 

With more money than she’s ever known what to do with, and a stake in a company she’d veritably been banished from, Cleo enrolled in Columbia University at the age of twenty-three and is in the process of getting a Bachelor’s in Business, with a minor in Theatre Arts. She has no passion for business, but anticipates that there are many money-related fights ahead when she shows up to her father’s next quarterly meeting. Simply put, she just wants to be prepared. Secretly, she wishes she could be pursuing Theatre and English, and write the sort of plays her grandmother would have been proud of. 

personality:

+ traits: whimsical, generous, extravagant, artistic, eccentric

- traits: vindictive, spoiled, flighty, pretentious, eccentric

facts:

age: 24

sexuality: bisexual

gender: trans female

pronouns: she/her 

occupation: business major @ columbia university

written by: daisy / she/her / est

wanted plots / relationships / connections:

One of my headcanons for Cleo is that she’s turned her grandmother’s Hamptons house (somewhat stunted in vintage glamour from grandmother’s days of glory) into a new arts collective — a place for people to put on plays, debate philosophies, throw fashion shows, and converse about art and culture, etc. More times than not, however, it’s used as a wine and cheese gossip club, but Cleo still puts on at least one play towards summer’s end out of tradition. So please give me members of Cleo’s arts collective / gossip crew !!!! (This would also definitely be open to people trying to mooch off of the free food and champagne, which I think would also be a fun dichotomy to play around with.)

Cleo’s an extravagant sort — her grandmother shaped her to be, and in some ways, she chooses this as a means of keeping her grandmother alive. Still, extravagance also comes with its own sense of wastefulness and eccentricity; give me people willing to go along with her flights of fancy, who wear ball gowns and tuxedos just to sit in the cheap seats at baseball games and glittering jewels to McDonald’s at 3am.

Somewhat uncomfortable with being alone, Cleo is almost always seen with a friend or two on her arm. These are the people who know everything about her, who maybe attended the same high school, or at least were in the same tight-knip social group in NYC due to their shared social statuses. Give me the best friends! (Part of me honestly wants at least one of these friends to be more of a frenemy, but we can sort that out later or have that naturally develop.)

The friends with benefits that are so secure in being both friends and lovers that they flirt endlessly in that casual, easy, somewhat ironic way where they talk about marrying each other while not meaning a word of it.

Anyone who doesn’t like her because she’s pretentious, spends too much money, goes through weird, arts and literature-inspired phases, is too flighty, etc. There’s a lot of reasons to be a hater. 

Cleo’s not a bad girl, per se, but it’s not impossible to see her committing some petty crimes for the sake of art, hunger, love, etc., — she’s pretty easily swayed by passions, and could be convinced to do most things if they tug on her heartstrings enough. (I could definitely see her doing something like this.) Give me the artistic partners in crime, or for something similar but darker, look to the next connection!

With a childhood spent around Southern debutante balls, and later teen years in the audience of Broadway shows and jazz clubs, Cleo has sort of lived in a rosy bubble of pretty and pleasant things. As such, she hasn't quite gotten to see the seedier clubs of NYC or experienced the darker side of the city — or even life, really. Give me a bad boy-type who  shatters her perfect little bubble.

[ab-aj-blog]

Opinion on Star vs. final episode, season 4 (please watch the episode first)

First of all, I’m gonna start by saying that the overall quality of this show was so great and I’m gonna miss it so much! BUT I have to say that to me this last episode was somewhat disappointing. Let me explain. So clearly a few people loved the episode and some were disappointed. I believed it had a sweet ending, but the overall quality of the last episode seemed...dull? So here are some topics I want to discuss about the season overall. 1. Toffee. (This might take a while.) During this season, I was somewhat excited when a lot of the characters kept mentioning Toffee, even showing a younger Toffee in an episode. Glossaryk mentioned how destroying Toffee was a mistake. Meteora blasted Toffee in order to dip down, etc, etc. So of course, even if it was a few tidbits of Toffee, they kept leading it up to a point where you’d get your hopes up of his return. NOPE! Instead they just lead it to the idea that “Toffee was right.” And I’m oddly enough satisfied to hear that. (Being the Toffee fan that I am). But, to me anyways, it also meant that he just seemingly died in vain. I mean he went through all those lengths by himself, destroyed the entire magic dimension BY HIMSELF, got blasted by Star, then she’s just like “Oh haha wait, you were right. Whoops.” Like really? Granted. We know Toffee has done some bad things in the show. He killed Comet Butterfly, he used Ludo, he tried to kill Star, he even broke Glossaryk’s arm. Everyone who’s all “He’s evil and selfish! He deserved to die!” Just hear me out. The show introduces this mysterious, intelligent, very intriguing character, and the only information that you get is that he’s a villain. You don’t get any backstory to truly know if he’s an evil character. You also know that he’s a character that has developed despite not having a lot of background information. For example young Toffee (arrogant, rebellious, punk) vs. adult Toffee (clever, efficient, finely dressed). I mean, how are you supposed to judge a character based on the few actions he’s done when you don’t even know what he was like before the Mewmans showed up. Or before the monster massacre. Or anything on his side of the story. For example, you don’t know if he’s been wronged. Or if his family was killed. Or any of that because it wasn’t provided. How were we not too sure he killed Comet because he felt that she would betray them like past queens? How are ANY of us supposed to judge such an intriguing character without the proper information. Even if Toffee is just “a villain,” what was it that made him so bitter, to hurt anyone? No one’s just born evil. Again, NO ONE IS JUST BORN EVIL! Plain and simple. Again, granted, the show isn’t about Toffee. It’s about Star and her adventures. But it would still be nice to know more about a character that a lot of people seem to like. I was mainly upset about this because they seemingly kept hinting at what you thought would be his return. 2. The shipping drama Okay, this was definitely an issue it seems. A LOT of people can probably agree on that. I believe a whole lot of these episodes were simply shipping drama. Like Tom and Star dating. Then breaking up. And then suddenly Kelly and Marco dating and their relationship didn’t even last much of an episodes worth! And then they finally decided to go with Marco and Star. (Which I ship them). So yeah I guess I was happy about that. BUT I felt like if they would’ve just skipped all of that they would’ve had so much more time to put in meaningful episodes. And think about this! If they were going to go with Star and Marco, then why not just have them date to begin with?! Maybe near the beginning of Season 4. At least then they could’ve developed together throughout the season as a couple. Instead the whole Starco ship just seemed thrown in at the last few episodes and called it good. I’ve read from past tumblr posts that quite a few people believe that the shipping drama was just to please the fans who ship different ships. And if I’m gonna be honest, that’s what it kinda seemed like. The only odd thing about all this shipping drama is that it was somewhat almost like real life. Think about it In real life you’re not just going to automatically find the love of your life first go round. You’ll have other relationships (Tomstar). And sometimes you’ll have flings, friends with benefits, “break up buddies” (Kellco). You’ll even run into old exes, crushes (Marco running into Jackie, Star seeing Oscar again). I guess that’s the one interesting thing I found in all of that despite the fact it was pretty meaningless for the overall season. 3. DISNEY. IN. GENERAL. Okay, so I’m gonna start THIS by saying that Disney has ticked me off so many times with the stupid crap they seem to pull. They always seemingly rush their storyboarders, animators, etc. To me it just seems like a lot of great shows end, either by the creators decision (Gravity Falls), or simply because Disney just doesn’t want to air it anymore. (Wander over Yonder). Then they replace it with s**t like Pickle and Peanut! And I’m not sorry for saying that. But even with both of those shows. They all faced a higher conflict and worked together to defeat it. Which to some might be a cliché ending. But it can also provide a lot of passion depending on the story. Like with Gravity Falls, Dipper, Mabel, Stanley, Stanford, Soos, Wendy, Pacifica, Robbie, Gideon, Fiddleford, even the whole dang TOWN worked together to fight a seemingly impossible force. All unlikely characters working together. Two feuding twin brothers, who hadn’t seen each other for years, even worked together to fight Bill. Stanley even sacrificed his OWN MEMORIES just to stop Bill so long as it kept Dipper and Mabel safe. This show had such sweet lessons about the meaning of family. And with Wander over Yonder. The ENTIRE FLIPPING GALAXY worked together to try and stop Dominator from taking over the last planet. Even Lord hater, who everyone disliked at one point, cast a shield to stop that drill. And everyone, EVERYONE cheered him on. Because despite being evil at one point, they knew he was helping them and wanted him to feel stronger. Even Wander, the sweetest character of the show, could see right through Dominator’s “bad guy” exterior and saw that she was just lonely, needed a friend, and even wanted to be her friend. This show had SO MANY lessons. There was seemingly a lesson about being humble and kind in every episode. And that’s what made this show so meaningful. (Still ticks me off that it was cancelled!) The point I’m getting at here, is that if Disney hadn’t rushed Nefcy to finish this final episode, it would’ve felt more epic. It would’ve felt like a final stand. So what of the final episode? My main issue with this was that the finale didn’t seem to have a conflict, as it seemed the conflict was already presented in the episode before the finale. The main conflict this finale had was the purple unicorn, but that was seemingly a nuisance more than a conflict. And even when Mina DID show up, the unicorn just drowned her. Like, what? And then there was the internal conflicts between Star and Marco wanting to see each other. It just seemed like this. Gotta destroy magic➡️Destroys magic➡️Mewni and Echo Creek are merged. Do you see what I mean? Despite the fact that there’s a final force. It didn’t seem like much of an issue to stop it. Though I personally enjoyed how they handled the Star and Marco inner conflict. Two best friends, now two lovers, wanting nothing more than to be together. Even if it meant leaving their old life behind. Even if it meant living in the swirling chaos of the destroyed magic realm. They wanted to be together. And then, by some force of magic within THEMSELVES, brought about a portal. They’re sent home, but see the same portal, and both run towards their portal to see each other. Only to have their two worlds collide. Literally! And both Star and Marco stare into each other’s eyes, before smiling. It was absolutely the most heartwarming thing for Star and Marco to finally be able to see EVERYONE they care about. 4. Overall The things I liked Overall there were so many great characters, great stories, and meaningful moments that tied the show together to create this cute, interdimensional adventure. There was so much history, even racial issues were dealt with as far as the monsters go. The once irresponsible princess Star Butterfly, grew into a very powerful, strong, and wise adult. And now she and all of her friends and family can finally be together, live together, and have more adventures together. The things I didn’t like I felt there were still some things that were unresolved with certain characters (Toffee). And if they skipped out on the shipping issues just a little, and if Disney hadn’t rushed them, they could’ve made so many more meaningful episodes. They could’ve even taken things a different route if they just had the time. 5. If you managed to get to the end of this. Thank you so much for reading this and taking the time to listen to what I have to say. I’m sure you have your own opinions. Maybe you agree on some points, maybe you disagree on some points. Either way. I want to say thank you to all the fans, artists, shippers, and anyone who enjoyed the show as much as I did. It was a great adventure that we all shared together. And thank you to Daron Nefcy, storyboarders, animators, the crew, all of you who worked so hard on this show. This show, like many other great shows. Will have a special place in our hearts and memories.

[imagineyoungjustice]

1.5k Followers Milestone Drabbles 3/10

I need to cringe! I'd like to request a drabble where Bart decides to only speak in slang and dead memes for a week. He'd probably drive the team insane -Anonymous

Set in between season’s 2 and 3 but probably closer to the end of season 2! Also thank you guys once again for sending in your meme and slang suggestions I’ve never cringed harder when writing a drabble! -Terra

Tags: @ljblve​ @loverbug1123​ @aworldwideapart​ @wallywestie

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Also the easiest way for me to write this was to do a small collection of “mini scenes” in which Bart would use his memes instead of spending hours I didn’t have this week with all my assignments to make it one long story so I’m sorry if this isn’t what you wanted but this was the way I could push it out faster! Enjoy!

Monday:

           When Tim walked into the Watchtower that morning the last thing he expected was to see Bart, dressed in his Kid Flash uniform lying across a gap between two of the branches in the Watchtowers courtyard. He paused mid-step as he looked at the speedster’s placement, a faint flicker of familiarity pricking at the back of his mind at the rigid posture to Bart’s body. Then it finally dawned on him.

           “Bart… are you… planking?”

           “Fo’ shizzle Tim Drizzle.” Scratch that maybe that was the last thing he expected today.

           “Excuse me?”

           “You’re really harshing my mellow with all those questions, not very radical behavior of you man.”

           He’s sure his eyes were as wide as saucers by now as his mind scrambled to make sense of what he was hearing. He even pinched his arms a few times to make sure he was actually experiencing this right now and it wasn’t just some weird concussion dream.

           “Flash said he spent the whole weekend reading up on slang and memes, he hasn’t stopped speaking and acting like this ever since.” Jaime mumbled, his head resting on his palm from where he sat under a different tree. “I already tried explaining dead memes and dead slang to him, but I don’t think he’s quite grasped it yet.”

           Tim already knew this was going to be a long week.

Tuesday:

           Tim crouched among the underbrush of the jungle, using the thick foliage and natural shadows to conceal himself. The rain was light, but enough to make their stealth mission somewhat miserable with the wet seeping through the seems of their costumes and mud cling to their boots. They had been trudging through this for hours now, and now the end was in sight. There just ahead of them was the plant that had been pushing out a Reach-like drug under a new name. Kaldur had placed Tim in charge, giving him Bart, Jaime, and Vrigil to take it down.

           “Okay.” He whispered, looking over to his gathered team. “We need to do this carefully. Jaime, you and your scarab need to crunch the numbers, what are we looking at in terms of numbers and success percentage if we proceed with plan A?”

           Jaime paused, looking out over the small compound while the scarab did what it needed to do with its sensors. “Scarab says we’re looking at a thirty-two-point three repeating percent chance of success if we just barge through the front door in a full assault.”

           “Okay let’s not do that then. Static you’ll be on point.” Tim started dishing out orders for their plan B strategy when Bart stood up, pulling his red visor down in front of his eyes.

           “This is taking too long, time’s up let’s do this! LEEEEEEROOOYYYYY JENKINSSSSSSS.” Bart had sped off into the plant before any of them could stop him. The sounds of gunfire and shouting erupted from inside.

           “Oh my god we need to go in after him! Move let’s go!” Tim shouted vaulting over his hiding spot and rushing in through the front doors. Jaime and Virgil were thankfully right behind him. Inside they were met with complete chaos, enemies were scattered everywhere spraying gunfire in every which direction they though Bart was. Tim could only grumble as he threw himself into the fight, dodging what he could and taking the guards out one by one.

           Just when they thought they were in the clear, the last of the guards tied up and down for the count, Sportsmaster appeared on the catwalks above them. “I thought I heard the sound of you brats in here. Where’s the rest of your little team? Don’t tell me you’re all that came to shut this place down?” He laughed and jumped over the rails, landing on the concrete in front of them. Tim threw down some smoke pellets and circled around. Jaime and Virgil did their best to keep hitting him from range while Tim did his best to get up close and get a few hits in at crucial points. So far, it wasn’t working out well for them. He didn’t know where Bart was, but they were losing the fight badly, and they really needed his speed.

           With a few lucky hits, Virgil and Jaime were down and out. The small distraction from glancing at his teammates let Sportsmaster land a hit to him that sent him flying back and gasping for the air that had been knocked out of his lungs. From the corner of his eye he caught sight of yellow and red at the crate crane control panel, and one of the cranes lifting up.

           The crate came back around and smacked into Sportsmaster before he could advance on Tim, slapping him into the adjacent wall hard enough to knock him out. Over his shoulder he could hear Bart in the near distance.

           “HE NEEDS SOME MILK.”

           He would deny ever laughing as hard as he did later when he was giving his report on what happened.

Wednesday:

           Tim was speeding after Brick on his cycle, Cassie and Jaime right behind him. It wasn’t often the team ended up in high-speed chases but if Tim were being honest, he liked the change from the usual stealth missions where they had to watch each and every step. Bart had sped off ahead to try and cut off Brick and his thugs’ convoy. They had stolen important weapons tech, and they couldn’t afford to let him escape.

           “KF we’re losing ground where are you!?” Tim shouted into his comm. His motorcycle was fast but not fast enough apparently, especially with the way Brick and his gang were currently swerving through traffic. As much as he liked the change of pace, he did hate it when it was through the middle of a densely populated city.

           “I’m practically right there, just hang on tight for a moment everything will be totally tubular just wait!”

           “Ay mi dios.” Jaime mumbled from above. “You’d think with as fast as he goes, he would have at least caught up to current slang by now.”

           “Tell me about it.” Cassie replied, “I never thought I’d miss him saying ‘crash’ and ‘mode’ as much as I do right now.”

           “Let’s focus guys, please?” Tim called. “Blue can you get a shot at any of their tires yet?”

           Before Jaime could respond, they saw a familiar yellow and red blur cut into the street just ahead of Brick.

           “Damn Daniel, back at it again with the white vans!”

           Clever use, Tim just gave snort as Brick and the rest of his gang, very much driving white vans, had no choice but to suddenly swerve and crash into each other in order to avoid hitting Bart.

Thursday:

           Tim knew Bart was up to something as soon as he saw the shit-eating grin on the young hero’s face. The shaving cream in his hand was also a pretty good clue. With a small glance in the direction Bart was looking he confirmed exactly what was about to happen.

           “Bart if you value your life you will definitely abort exactly what you have planned.” His grin only grew wider.

           “Bart I promise you, as someone who lives with the guy. Don’t.”

           “SMACK CAM” Bart screeched as he used his speed to race forward, outstretching his hand at the last moment and slapping Batman right across the right cheek with the hand that was full of shaving cream.

           “Oh my god that poor dead bastard.” Tim whispered.

           It was dead silent in the Watchtower as everyone held their breath for the Dark Knight’s reaction. For his part he stayed silent as he wiped the shaving cream off his face, completely stoic before he turned to Barry.

           “Say goodbye to your grandson until he’s born Allen.”

           A muffled “YOLO” was the only thing Tim could hear as Bart sped away with Batman hot on his heels.

Friday:

           By now it was safe to say the entire team was sick of Bart’s new slang and meme knowledge. Sure every now and again Bart would have a clever use that would earn a small laugh or two, but for the most part they largely missed their mark prompting a lot of groans and sighs.

           Jaime had even tried bribing Bart with thirty bags of Chicken Wizee’s in order to get him to stop. It hadn’t worked so far. Nothing had, they were stuck in dead meme and dead slang hell until whatever this was had run its course with him.

           That’s why they all cringed as Bart walked up to the group. “What’s up my homeboys and homegirls?”

           “Bart we are literally begging you to stop.” Tim said.

           “No can do, haters gonna hate!”

           “Bart I will literally give you free Chicken Wizee’s for life if you stop.”

           “Lit, but as swag as that sounds, I’ll have to pass. Catch you guys on the flip side!” He called as he walked out of the room.

Saturday:

           “Hey Robin!” Tim just cringed and tried to ignore him, hoping that Bart would leave if he didn’t say anything. From the sympathetic look Cassie gave him, that wasn’t going to be the case. “Robin! Yo Rob! Robster! Robmiester!”

           He just sighed, “Yes Bart?”

           “Something came for you in the mail!”

           In a momentary lapse of judgement, Tim made a fatal error in his next choice of words. “Oh? What came?”

           “DEEZ NUTS.” Bart’s cackles could be heard all over the Watchtower. Tim was going to murder him.

Sunday:

           Once again Tim found himself in the middle of a fight with Cassie, Jaime, Virgil and Bart. This time however, the team had been called to assist the League with another bust this time being a large-scale reproduction of the Reach drink under a new name. Zatanna had been stationed with Tim’s squad for their particular section. Their job was to fight their way and disable of the brewery rooms.

           “Hey Zatanna!”

           “No Bart.”

           “I didn’t even say anything yet!”

           “I know what you want me to do and my answer is still no.”

           He stopped right in front of her, fixing her with his best puppy dog look. “Pleaseeee?”

           She just sighed and turned towards the rest of the team. “Everyone get up off the ground now!” Confused they did as they were told except for Bart who looked like a kid in a candy store being told he could get whatever he wanted. “eht roolf si aval!”

           Oh, that’s what he had wanted. The floor morphed from simple concrete to burning lava right before the team’s very eyes, taking out the robotic guards they had been pinned down by in mere moments. As soon as Zatanna called off the spell, Tim was quick to get his birdarangs ready before the next wave could barge in.

           “Hey Bart.” Tim handed the speedster the birdarangs primed for detonation upon impact. “These bitches empty.”

           Bart looked at him with big hopeful eyes as if he didn’t quite believe what he was hearing. With a nod from Tim, he gently took them from his hand, turning towards the vats. “YEET.” Bart put his whole body into the throw, each of the birdarangs hitting their target and detonating the vats in an impressive show.

           “You’re encouraging him now?” Cassie called as they watched the compound explode in the distance.

           “Hey at least this one was current.”

[xxmisty]

Funny how someone who made fart fetish porn thinks he has a right to badmouth men

Oh boy, anon, you’ve really overpacked this suitcase, haven’t you??

Look, let’s just start by pointing out that there’s a contradiction between you having respect for my pronouns and yet an apparent prejudice against sex workers. I just don’t get that. Thank you for being more respectful than most and actually using male pronouns here, I think the rest of your message is seriously betraying the kind of person you are. Build on the good. You’re already head and shoulders above most people I know in that respect.

I was trying to work out what could have come across as badmouthing men and I found that two posts about Captain Marvel had come out of my queue. So that’s it. Anon, i’m not badmouthing men. But I will call out toxic masculinity where I see it, and there was a whole lot of it around the launch of that movie. Toxic masculinity hurts everyone, no matter who you are. It’s the kind of attitude that makes men feel they have to behave a certain way or they can’t be true men. As a trans guy that went a long way toward being terrified of coming out, and still goes a long way to not being accepted. It is also a master force behind the kind of behaviour that has left women vulnerable, scared and abused throughout history. I’ve been on both sides of that. I’ve had men roll down their car windows and cat-call me from the age of 14 upward. When I was 13 I took a term of piano lessons and quit because the piano tutor kept holding my hands and asking me if I ‘painted my nails red when I went out at weekends’. I’ve had parts of my body groped and touched in public because someone was drunk, being egged on by their mates or just thought it was their right to do it. I’ve had a z-list celebrity slide his hand into my crotch blaming ‘the train’ with a huge grin on his face. I spent twenty years blaming myself for being sexually assaulted by my cousin’s husband because I was wearing a dress the night I met him. No, not all men are like this, but if you’re offended by someone discussing it then perhaps there’s a reason why. Maybe you see a little of that in yourself.

I’ll reblog posts about captain marvel until my fingers are sore because Brie Larson took so much abuse in the run up to its launch, most of it from a subsection of the population. And i’m not blindly backing it as a marvel fan, nor as a perceived ‘man hater’ - I didn’t think it looked that good from the trailers, but boy was I wrong. I still think the trailers were pretty bad and did the movie a huge disservice. The point is, I waited until I watched the movie to make up my own mind. Brie Larson spoke up on the press tour about how she was sick of looking out and seeing nothing but white men, and a whole lot of those white men took that very deliberately in the wrong way. She spoke of wanting diversity. She didn’t want to look out there and see no white, male faces, she just wanted to see a mix of them with POC and female faces too. You’d have to be extremely over sensitive to take that in any sense other than the one she’d intended it.

People flooded Rotten Tomatoes with negative reviews, days before the movie even came out. They hadn’t seen it, they just wanted to try to make sure that they stopped as many potential viewers from seeing it as they could. And that's why it’s so important to people who aren’t of that small subsection of the population to share the movie’s success. I’m so damn proud of Brie, and of everyone involved in the movie, and of everyone who has stood up for Captain Marvel when in doing so they’ve also opened themselves up to abuse.

The truth is, the world has been run by straight, white, cis men for countless years and that’s starting to change. The world is becoming a richer place for that. We need to hear all kinds of voices, especially as the world grows smaller. Anon, the world has changed more in the last twenty years than it had in centuries before it. But that means the truth is going to hurt sometimes.

I’m white, and i’m learning more about what that means from people of colour who share their experiences, their stories and their views. I understand a little better every day that it isn’t enough just to not be an actively racist asshole and that I need to use my privilege to speak up when I see it happening to others. I need to open my ears and listen to people from different countries, of different colours, of different religions, and hear about the struggles they face every day that i’ll never truly understand as someone born into a white family, in an area where there were very few people of colour as I grew up. I want to learn. I want to listen. I hope that the more POC speak out, the more that we can learn as people who haven’t faced the same prejudice. I’ll still never know what it’s like to walk in those shoes but i’ll be a little more mindful every day of what needs to change and how I can help.

It’s a similar thing existing in a predominantly cishet world. Something I realised recently is that, as much as I know it can take years, decades, sometimes a lifetime to really discover who you are, the cold hard fact is that when I was five years old I knew I wanted to marry a woman and call myself John but it’s taken decades to reverse the programming that a predominantly cishet world tried to write into me. We’re getting there, little by little. The world is changing, but a big part of that is from having the courage to find our voices and share our experiences as people of a gender and/or sexuality not defined as cis and heterosexual. I think trans folk have a unique point of view when it comes to gender wars since we’ve seen both sides of the coin to some degree. I’m just as scared of toxic femininity as I am of toxic masculinity. Both are dangerous and destructive, and they hurt everybody. It’s time they began to die and allowed people to be themselves without a gender-approved bar they have to reach to be a ‘real man/woman’.

Lastly, anon, I would really like you to rethink the way you view sex workers because most that i’ve met along the way have been the kindest, most genuine, most open individuals who work harder than you’ll ever know. Making fetish videos put food on the table, a roof over our heads and bought our boat when we were faced with being homeless. My health wouldn’t allow me to work a job outside the home any more and I wanted to make a living as best as I could. I feel like you would be just as critical if I lived by benefits alone. Plus making videos was a very important step in my own life. It helped me to love a part of myself that i’d always resented and felt ashamed of, and gave me confidence to appear in front of the camera which I could never have imagined some years ago. Plus I made a few wonderful friends that way.

Anon, you have a good heart, enough to not misgender me. I can’t and won’t apologise for reblogging posts that talk about subjects that affect me personally. This is, after all, my blog, and it’s important for people to see how many others have been affected by the same issues. It helps when you don’t feel so alone. If there’s something that triggers you about those posts then perhaps there’s something you recognise in it. This is a really good time to identify what that is and to work out why it upsets you so much. We can all learn to be better people, and listening to our discomfort is a good first step.

[medea10]

Medea Rambles - The HATE on...

You’d think I would have other shit to talk about. In fact, I was planning on making a ramble on Jussie Smollett or finally post that review of Angels of Death. But then something came out on Friday.

Ohhhhhh, Jussie Smollett and Angels of Death can wait.

*cracks knuckles*

The second I saw that thumbnail, I knew I was going to be shattered. I knew that this list was going to upset me more than you could ever know. And me being the curious little idiot, I had to click on this clickbait and watch it.

I innocently thought that maybe, just maybe...HE would be spared and not mentioned.

Or if HE was mentioned, it would be in the higher numbers or an honorable mention.

And don’t get me wrong, a lot of these were characters that deserved every hatred in the world. Especially this bitch!

But I knew, I knew HE was further up.

Press on.

OH COME ON!

HE is better than this annoying little twat!

Come on WatchMojo, just hurry up and get this over with. My heart can’t take no more of this pain.

OH FUCK ME GUY!

You guys can’t still, after twenty years, be heartbroken over you-know-who leaving the show and having him be replaced for like 30+ episodes.

Please let it be some other poor sap be at #1.

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DON’T DO THIS TO...

AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

THERE IT IS! AHHHHHH! AHHHHH!

A;AJKDJ;K;JKLAF;;IEAWEHIAEF;HAF;HKLD

A;JKLDF;JKLDFAHEHWE;HIO;HA;HDH;A

AIEJG[EAIIERHIEJAIJHIEHIEHIAJ

FUCKING FUCK YOU WATCHMOJO! JUST FUCK YOU! FUCK THE PEOPLE WHO VOTED FOR THIS! FUCK YOU ALL WITH A RUSTY, WOODEN SPOON! AND WHEN YOU’RE DONE WITH THAT...

AKLE;JKRJKTRJSIGJIAJRJA;J

*inhales and exhales*

Okay, now that I got that out...

First of all, sorry for that outburst. I mean no ill-will towards the good folks at WatchMojo or the folks who vote for the entries. It’s just that when my favorite character gets attacked, I kinda turn into a monster ready to rip your head off.

If you do not know me, know this. I am a fan of Tracey on Pokemon. I am one of the big and notorious ones at that. I also am aware that I am in the severe, severe, severe, SEVERE minority in this. And divide that into a different digit because I was a fan of Tracey from second fucking one!

That’s right. I’m not one of those Johnny Come-Lately or Born Agains that gave him a second chance years later and came out to say, “You know what, Tracey wasn’t so bad. I actually like him.”

Yeah, where the fuck were you all those years he was getting shit on? NO, I’M NOT SORRY FOR THAT! For years he’s been given the reputation of him being less than nothing. Because he replaced Brock after 80 something episodes. Saying that Tracey has NO CHARACTER AT ALL outside of a sketchbook compared to Brock’s rainbow of charisma. 

Why? Because he doesn’t hit on every piece of ass that walks his way?

Why? Because Brock’s backstory was touching and this guy has nothing?

Why? Because Brock looks SO FUCKING STYLISH while this guy looks generic’s watered down idiot cousin?

Why? Because Brock makes insightful comments to help Ash he’s seen as the second coming of the Buddha, while when Tracey does it, he’s seen as a wannabe to Brock’s greatness?

Well excuse me while I bow down to your all-mighty God of Brock. I didn’t realize I was in the presence of Jesus “Tap Dancing” Christ. I thought I was watching a show about a 10 year old catching monsters in a ball. I didn’t realize Brock was that big a deal. Excuse me while I wipe his ass with the world’s most delicate toilet paper!

WOW, I’m really shoving sarcasm down every orifice.

It’s true that Tracey was not the most developed character. In fact, he was only created because Japan thought western audiences would find Brock offensive due to his appearance. So they created an “Anglo-Saxon” character meant to look less-offending because the 1990s were weird. But once they realized the audience didn’t care about Brock’s appearance and that there was no controversy, they pulled Tracey faster than you can say, “They kicked me in the pokeballs.”

I mean, the Orange Islands were only 36 episodes long (give or take). They could have given us a little more with Tracey’s character to get the attention of wayward audience members. But what we got wasn’t all bad. We got a pretty decent episode with him and another Pokemon Watcher. And even the episode where he catches Scyther. And of course I was enthralled at the fact that he was an artist. But that wasn’t enough to get kids to like him and was sent to Oak’s lab to stay there.

Well, you crybabies got Brock back! They made sure of that! We wound up with like 300 more episodes of the same old song and dance. You happy now? You satisfied that your precious, little Brock is back? HUH? YOU HAPPY? ARE YOU FUCKING HAPPY NOW? HUH?! YOU HAPPY THAT HE CAN HIT ON EVERY WOMAN EVERY WEEK FOR THE NEXT 10 YEARS?!

Yeah, I think you can tell how “happy” I was that Brock returned in time for Ash and Misty going to Johto. Because I got not only Johto, but all of Hoenn, the Battle Frontier in Kanto, and the entire region of Sinnoh to watch Brock be his “Brocky” self. And trust me, we didn’t get much character development with him until he was close to leaving the show.

Seriously, Tracey gets hate for giving us a break from the running gag of Brock hitting on women? Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate Brock. I just got tired of his antics...really fast. In some ways, I am happy Tracey didn’t wear out his welcome (with me). Other people say he wore out his welcome the second he was shown. But I’m glad we were given some time with him (even if it was a small amount) so that we don’t get tired of him.

I’ve spent 19 years trying to defend Tracey’s existence. He doesn’t deserve the hate just because he replaced Brock for a short amount of time. He doesn’t have to be like Brock. Tracey is his own person and I thought he was a breath of fresh air. And let’s face it, the Orange Islands was a fun arc. Plus it gave Ash an actual victory. Yeah, you probably forgot that too!

And even when Brock wore out his welcome and left, fans still had to find fault with the other secondary male leads. Cilan seen as annoying as a Nickelback song, Clemont was seen as a reject from The Big Bang Theory if that ever got an animated series, and Kiawe...well...no, Kiawe is awesome. And on the contrary, I found all three of these boys better than Brock. But that’s my opinion.

Sometimes a little change doesn’t hurt. Tracey’s change didn’t hurt the Pokemon anime. Fuck no, it didn’t! It gave us some pretty interesting gym leaders and battles (which were later “improved upon” with Alola), an astonishing six-on-six match for Ash, and even introduced us to double battles. That’s right, we got double battles here first! Screw you! We got a whole new experience in the pokemon world with this new travel companion. Which is more than what I can say about most of the other entries on that top 10 list. Characters like Shimotsuki, Pan, and Near were introduced and the anime took a turn for the weird or the worst. Seriously, how could Pan be better than Tracey? Dragon Ball GT happened!

I’ll never understand this world.

But yeah, this is just me unleashing a load of pint-up rage that’s been building. I know Tracey will continue to get hate on lists such as this because the people who vote on this stopped watching Pokemon mid-Johto and can’t count past the number 10. There are worse characters to hate on. Lay off Tracey!

This has been Medea, calling every Tracey-hater a cunt since 2000.

[blueduckie]

Fantasies...

So we all have fantasies - right? I thought my fantasy was pretty tame and harmless but also ridiculous and unrealistic. Books and movies portray it as romantic and a fun adventure🙄😳🤦‍♀️let me just tell you, there is a fine line between fantasy and reality and it rarely ought to be crossed - if at all.

My fantasy - having a stalker/romantic interest😳😳😳😬😬it’s actually rather embarrassing but I can’t help but laugh at myself for being so naively foolish.

The only reason it “works” in books and movies is because the main character is portrayed as being overprotective and domineering and plays hero, “rescuing” the “helpless” female either from herself or from someone with nefarious intent - which causes her to forgive his bossy, stalker, creepy like tendencies and personality.

As a plot point it works just fine and provides a pretty good, if not fairly trite and redundant, story. But - we all keep buying into it because deep down in our sentimental romantic hearts, we all want a hot secret someone to pay attention to us and “rescue” us from something🙄🤦‍♀️🤨if nothing else Disney has taught us it is expected and sought after.

🤔🤔🤔

Yeah - no.

Back in reality land, if you do have a stalker, chances are extremely high that he’s a creepier and has misguided possessiveness and anger issues. There’s nothing romantic about that. If anything it’s inviting trouble and being unnecessarily naive and foolish.

At this point you’re probably thinking I’m a bitter old hag who’s a man hater. And that’s not true at all. I freely admit that I am rather jaded, a bit cynical and distrustful of the opposite sex but it’s only because I’ve had to grow up very quickly and I have to live very firmly in reality, leaving make-believe and fantasy far behind - occasionally my inner child comes out, but it’s very rare.

I like men - I do - I think they’re funny and I enjoy most of their company, it’s just that I haven’t found one I relate well with and the ones that do come around, either don’t know what to do with me or think they can bully me into being someone I’m not.

There was a guy I was corresponding with last Fall who, despite professing to respect my opinions and decisions, completely disregarded and ignored everything I had to say, giving me the equivalent of “there there” and a pat on the head and tried to act like he knew what was best for me even though we hadn’t met in person yet🤦‍♀️😳🤦‍♀️

You may not agree with my opinions but I do know my own mind and you will respect it.

There was another guy that I went on one date with - ONE - and he took that as an invitation to blow up my phone with over 250 text messages in less than a day. It sounds like an exaggeration but I promise you it’s not - I was so perturbed I specifically remember looking up that months cell phone bill - and there it was in black and white.

I don’t mind texting family and friends but if you’re going to be constantly texting me stupid asinine questions every couple of minutes, even after I’ve told you to stop because I’m either trying to sleep or am at work and nothing has changed since the last time you texted me two minutes ago - I am going to get mad at you. There was absolutely no respect of my personal boundaries going on. He was actually the first person that I legitimately on purpose ghosted and blocked on Facebook. But not the last.

Which brings me back to the guy I “met” last year on Facebook - we’d been messaging each other for all of a day before he started in with how much he believed we were soulmates and we going to get married someday and have lots of kids together - every red flag in the book popped up at that point🚩🚩🚩even after I told him he was going way too fast and he needed to slow down and back off, he kept right at it🤦‍♀️

He was the second person I blocked on Facebook and - ironically enough, the third as well.

After months of blessed silence I got a “friend request” from a guy who looked remarkably similar and had a very similar name from the exact same area as the other guy🤔🤷‍♀️😬🤦‍♀️I don’t believe in coincidences - I also don’t believe in “soulmates” or “destiny” - we make our own destinies. Yeah - he got blocked too.

I did feel bad about that - for about a second and a half - before I remembered that I had told him last Fall, before I blocked and ghosted him the first time, that I didn’t like what he was doing and he needed to stop - that was actually the second time I’d told him that - some might consider it heartless but as far as I was concerned, I’d given him ample chances to change. I’m not so hard up and desperate for companionship that I’m gonna put up with that kind of nonsense, especially from the get go.

There’s been guys I’ve met online, and in person, who have a one track mind - how fast can we go from zero to sixty?😳dude - I met you five minutes ago, calm down. That is not what I’m looking for🤦‍♀️Or - people I don’t even know, who start messaging me and want me to move across the country and be a stay at home caregiver for their child while they’re gone overseas for half the year - again five minutes after “meeting” them😳🤨🤦‍♀️😬say what?

While I do not believe in “fate” I do believe I was born under a mostly unlucky star ✨💫🌟✨at least when it comes to dating.

There was a guy I went out with from work(don’t do that btw - not the first time I’ve done this, you’d think I’d learn🤦‍♀️) - we had fun, nothing to write home about but I’d had a good time. I was actually looking forward to seeing him again and getting to know him better despite being coworkers - right up until he started blowing up my phone with countless asinine questions when I was trying to sleep or was at work😡😤🤬I completely shut down after that - Fort Knox isn’t tighter.

He told me afterwards that I had ghosted him - at the time I didn’t mean too, I didn’t realize what was happening until after it happened - but as soon as he started in, I flashed right back to that guy from years ago who kept pushing and pushing despite being told no and all my “walls” instantly went back up.

I thought I was over it and had moved on - hell I don’t even remember his name - but I sure remember what he did - evidently it made more of an impact than I thought it did🤔And oh yeah, btw - it’s now very awkward at work because he’s trying to be all buddy-buddy and I’m not even remotely interested right now, and somehow he’s not getting that.

So - what I’ve learned from all this ridiculousness - is that dating websites and meeting new people on Facebook aren’t working for me. And I am much better off without the ensuing drama.

I’m a strong, independent, stubborn woman with an excellent work ethic and I’m not just going to roll over to save your fragile little ego - that’s disgusting🤢🤮🤢 - I’m opinionated and I have a hot temper, I’m also going to challenge you and make you think - deal with it. I’m looking for a partner not a child.

To paraphrase a book I read recently: he wanted someone he could be himself with; he wanted someone to need him - he wanted to need someone.

That’s what I’m looking for. A REAL man.

It may be an overgeneralization but I think that’s what everyone is looking for - to be needed and wanted by someone else.

[makeyourownmyth]

Favorite Heard in 2018.

Same caveats, but even fewer.

There really weren’t any songs that everyone loved that I thought badly enough of to list as antis here. I will say that the Drake-ification of rap has had even worse effects that we thought it would, with mumblerap dominating everything. And there’s some notable absences on the lists, but those are definitely purposeful. 

Honorable Mentions:

Troye Sivan - Blue Neighbourhood. Bloom was OK, but it took me to Blue Neighbourhood, which I had somehow missed. He’s amazing, I’m in love.

Black Panther Soundtrack. The Kendrick influence and brand is strong, but it’s really the more outlier-y style songs (like “Redemption”) that make this album as good as it is.

Alex Lahey - I Love You Like A Brother. This album actually came out last year, and it should have been on my list then and it wasn’t and I’ve spent a year embarrassed by that fact.

Billie Eilish - She didn’t actually release a new album this year, but all the singles were great and she’s a phenomenal talent.

Travis Scott - Astroworld. If this list would have been completed the month Astroworld came out, it might have been #1. But it lacks the sticking power to make something part of the truly good list. But he definitely made me a believer after spending time being at least partway a hater.

The Internet - Hive Mind. This album is good with a side of weirdness. Earl’s album is weird with (maybe?) a slice of goodness. And yet his album is ending up on a bunch of best of lists and Syd’s band isn’t. That’s wack. This one’s the winner if we’re comparing the two. But we don’t even need to do that. This one stands up all on its own.

Meek Mill - Championships. From the banging intro to the collab with Drake to “What’s Free” with Jay and Ross, this one goes hard. It’s a great Meek Mill album. You know exactly what you’re getting.

Pusha T - Daytona. Better than all the other rap albums on this list, almost made the real list. He’s so good at what he does, and “If You Know You Know” is one of the best openers of all time.

Tierra Whack - Whack World. If you haven’t heard this album, you should be ashamed. It’s only 15 minutes. Go listen! Then appreciate it and listen to it again. It’s great. She’s gonna do amazing things. 

Jeff Tweedy - Warm. I’ve been thinking about Jeff Tweedy and Wilco a lot this year, maybe because I read the book Learning How to Die. And I know this isn’t a Wilco album, so I know it’s apples to oranges. But I can’t shake this thought, regardless. I’m not sure there’s another band we have whose “universally acclaimed ‘best’ album” is almost certainly NOT their “best” album? I mean, post-YHF Wilco is super different. They stopped trying to be that band, but between Sky Blue Sky and A Ghost is Born and now this solo record, I’m pretty sure those albums (and this one, which I know isn’t a Wilco album) are actually better? It’s just really, really, really good. 

boygenius - boygenius. The best thing about this EP is that all the songs are solid and some are lifetime best material. The worst thing is that we’ll probably never get this collaboration again. 

Beach House - 7. Shockingly good after their odd turns on the last couple. I’m not ready to have complete faith in them just yet, but I’m glad they’re coming back around. 

Snail Mail - Lush. Solidly good, almost to great territory. Soccer Mommy got all the love, but I think this album is actually better? 

Charli XCX - Pop 2. It’s good. She deserves more credit than she gets, and she already gets a lot. 

Soccer Mommy - Clean. Not as good as the near-universal critical acclaim, but still a very strong album.

Cat Power - Wanderer. That cover of “Stay” is incredible all on its own, but the album really holds up on its own merits too. I can’t believe she’s still making music this good. 

Chvrches - Love is Dead. It took me a couple listens to actually think it was good, but it is. It’s a side step from their last 2, which I don’t love, but I’m happy they’re doing what they want to do. 

Buddy - Harlon & Alondra. Remember when he was next up and had an awesome voice? It seemed like his potential was gonna go untapped, but this album shows it’s not dead yet. It’s not quite Best material, but it was unfairly slept on. 

Best Songs:

"Backpack” - Alex Lahey. Same comment as her album. I know this came out last year. But I’ve spent a year being embarrassed by forgetting it, and she deserves a spot. 

"Thank U, Next” - Ariana Grande. Sweetener wasn’t bad, but this was way better. It took Mac dying, her concert tragedy, and breaking up with Pete to get the best Ariana we’ve ever had. 

“DJs Gotta Dance More” - A Trak. This is the type of song that I could listen to non-stop for the rest of my life and be perfectly content. 

“Missing U” - Robyn. She’s a queen. What do we expect? It’s solid gold. 

Dirty Computer Quartet - From the start of “Screwed” until the end of “Make Me Feel” Janelle Monae has my heart for all time. It doesn’t get much better. 

9. “Nice For What” - Drake. He’s fine. The best thing about this song is the Lauryn Hill. But it’s catchy as hell.

8. “Apeshit” - The Carters. It’s been a long time since my jaw dropped on a consistent basis listening to Jay. I’m happy it’s happening more, and even more with his wife outrapping him.

7. “Havana” - Camila Cabello. Earworm.

6. “Lemonade” - NERD. The Vampire King returns, recruits Rihanna to rap, and it sounds so good.

5. “Shallow” - Lady Gaga. I honestly haven’t even seen the movie yet, but this song is almost perfectly crafted. It sounds like it could have come out of any classic era. It does exactly what it aims to do. 

4. “Look Alive” - Blocboy JB. I don’t really even want to talk about how good this song is. It bugs me how good it is. 

3. “I Like It” - Cardi B. The album wasn’t bad, but she literally could have released just this song, and it probably would have sold just as many copies as the album did. The perfect song for driving during summer with your windows down. 

2. “The Story of Adidon” - Pusha T. My favorite song of the year. It taught the kids about real rap beef. From the cover art to the line about 40, it was shocking. Did he go too far? Yes. Do I think he shouldn’t have? No. Too bad the kids all ignored it and still rock with the Canadian. 

1. “Girls Like You” - Maroon 5. The most perfect pop song of the year. It sounds like it was cooked up in a magical song laboratory, and I don’t mind that at all. 

Best Albums:

7. Kacey Musgraves - Golden Hour. This album goooooeeeesssss in. She sings about all the typical things you’d expect from a country album, and then changes directions, too. 

6. Mac Miller - Swimming. We can’t ignore the fact that his death almost certainly affected the placement of this album. But even if he was still with us, Mac was progressing and growing, just like he has with every single album, and this would have been a serious contender. I still can’t listen to it without crying.  

5. The Carters - Love is Everything. Continuing the trend of old people being able to rap and do it well is an important reason this album gets to be this high. Also, it puts on fitting cap on the Lemonade/4:44/Love Trilogy. 

4. YG - Still Dangerous. It’s crazy how shit falls off when you don’t have a press-baiting single like “FDT” but YG is still making crazy good music. This album is not as good as the last 2, but it’s still super important to have an older perspective out there, representing for Cali G Funk in 2018. 

3. Vince Staples - FM! I will never forget where I was when I heard this album for the first time, and that’s an increasingly rare thing. In a time when there’s plenty of weirdo kids who are really good rappers, with the amount of praise that Vince gets, it’s still a possibility that he’s UNDERrated. He’s a voice we need, and this album is a perfect little piece that he created to share that voice. Everything he’s done has been great, and this is no exception. 

2. Janelle Monae - Dirty Computer. Give me all Janelle everything. This album could easily have been #1. Every part of it feels purposefully thought out and well executed. The video version was great, the singles are all bangers, the lyrics are necessary, and the themes are pushing all the right buttons. 

1. Camp Cope - How to Socialise & Make Friends. I knew from the moment that I listened to this album that it was going to be my #1 in December. The fact that I’m still writing that in December, when the album dropped in March, is a testament to its staying power. From “The Opener” to the very last track, there’s not a moment of let up. These kids are super promising, and they have already done something phenomenal. I cannot wait to see what comes next for them.