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apdreadful · 19 days ago

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Since the election I have deactivated some of my social media. Blocked some people I never should have ever engaged with to begin with, and unfollowed several accounts on IG that just don’t bring me joy.

And 911onabc was one.

Is it because Buck & Tommy didn’t end together? No. I’m a grown ass adult. I can be irritated by the something and not be dramatic or hateful about it.

It was because several storylines lately have been complete bullshit.

They start strong with solid good storytelling. But then..eh we’re bored. Only whatever we do absolutely can not make sense!

The lazy fucking way they wrote Christopher’s character out, and that weird ass doppelgänger storyline.

New season? Let’s start by putting Bobby and Athena through to some major disaster! Hey it worked last season! Let’s do it again! (Do not even get me started on that fucking drug cartel shit..what the hell even was that??)

We are only allowed to have one character or couple drama free at a time. And if we can’t come up with a plausible way to create discord or havoc, we’ll just do some stupid shit instead!

Spend several seasons showing the deep strong bond between Eddie and Christopher. Gavin’s family moves? Just make it something dumb..but fast! I know let’s have him get mad at his dad and ask to move in with his grandparents!! Never mind he’d never do that!

The amount of psychological trauma they have inflicted on Maddie. The near death experiences of Chimney. Jesus. Just what tf?

Hmmm. Karen and Hen..the fans would revolt if we broke them up. So let’s go after their kids!! And we can’t make it about them being gay! Let’s create this over the top villain Councilwoman Ortiz. Who’s the mother of that drunk coked up dude from the accident. Only we absolutely cannot have Hen or anyone defend what happened or shut that shit down by saying “Your son was a fucking menace and maybe if you hadn’t kept covering for him he would have gotten some fucking help and not caused an accident.” Also do not mention Hen was cleared of all wrong doing. Nope. Logic has no place here!

Ok so the fans have been clamoring for Buddie. But Eddie Diaz is straight. Period.

So hey! Let’s make Buck bisexual. And tell everyone we are getting him off the hamster wheel (because really, we’ve given him the emotional depth of a teaspoon for a while now)..And his love interest/boyfriend should be Tommy Kinard, who used to work at the 118, and we will invest time to give him a compelling backstory, and lay a ton of Easter eggs showing how richly we can mine this pairing and these characters.

And make them HAPPY for several episodes. Blissfully in love. And then totally out of the blue, let’s break them up. But the reason has to be complete bullshit, totally against character out of left field BULLSHIT. Like they should start out the episode great and about 80 percent in..wait! Let’s also make him the SAME Tommy Abbie from season one was engaged to before she started banging Buck! And then let’s make Tommy who is so into Buck it’s palpable, dump him because he’s afraid of getting his heart broken! Even though it’s one of the most tired, overdone, stupid tropes ever!!

Yeah. I don’t know WTF is going on in the writers room I would swear it’s like there’s this talented group of writers who start stories, and then they go out in Wilshire Blvd and ask some random person on the street to write the ending, but they have to do it, right there in the next 20 minutes.

No I am not going to stop watching 911 forever. I just don’t really want to see them on my IG. This last stunt, sparked only incredulity and scorn.

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do-you-ship-this-comic-ship · 4 months ago

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propaganda:

THE canon comic book couple OF ALL TIME. They are SUPERVILLAINS. they are FRENCH. They are QUEER. They are a SUPER INTELLIGENT GORILLA and A LIVING BRAIN IN A JAR. They have both died multiple times, yet have inexplicably come back with zero explanation, thereby making them canonically immune to the burry your gays trope. They have historic beef with a group of ACTUAL TEENAGERS. Oh yeah, and did I mention they are A GORILLA AND A BRAIN. They are the embodiment of how batshit insane superhero comic book lore can get in the best way possible.

Basically, their backstory is Brain was once a human scientist who took a wild silverback gorilla and raised his IQ to 178 with the power of mad science experiments, originally planning on implanting his own brain into Mallah’s body. But seeing how intelligent Mallah became and becoming attached to him, the scientist couldn’t bring himself to go through with the experiment, instead making Mallah his lab assistant. Then the scientist gets his body burnt to a crisp in a lab “accident”, which may or may not have been orchestrated by his rival, Niles Caulder (and tbh thats probably the case considering the other shady shit The Chief’s done but that’s another can of worms entirely), and Mallah saved him by transferring his brain to a jar-like life support vessel. Thus starting the scientist now known simply as The Brain’s mission to get revenge on Caulder and take over the world, becoming an arch villain to the Chief’s team the Doom Patrol and later the Teen Titans. Mallah and Brain would pretty much be your basic henchman and villain duo for most of thier existence… UNTIL Grant Morrison’s Doom Patrol run in the early 90s, where after stealing one of Doom Patrol member’s Robotman’s spare robot bodies, Brain and Mallah confesss thier love for eachother, sharing a kiss… before the robot body housing Brain explodes and kills them both.

Don’t worry though, they got better.

What I find most insane about Mallah and Brain, you know, apart from the fact one of them is a whole ass gorilla and the other is just a brain in a jar. And the fact Grant Morrison and other writers not only had the sheer audacity to make such a bonkers and strangely disturbing couple canon, but stick with it being so, is that fact that their relationship is… genuinely compelling??

Like, there are so many stories where their motivation is just getting brain necessities like a new body. Because he longs to feel simple sensations again like being able to smell flowers or drink tea (and also fuck nasty with Mallah, as he deserves). And Mallah is 100% ride or die for Brain and does everything in his power to help him. From trying to break him out of a prison ship while fighting superheroes Apollo and Midnighter, to the aforementioned finding him a new body, to kidnapping an orchestra to play for Brain because the tickets to thier show were sold out and felt bad about not getting brain tickets. More often than not, especially with the body stuff, its foiled or tragically backfires, but Mallah never stops trying to give his partner a better life and make him happy. Even if it means them both being doomed in some way. It’s both bizarre yet compellingly tragic and oddly beautiful.

Plus there are a ton of smaller moments between them, like their old married couple energy bickering, Brain venting to Mallah about how no-one in the hero or villain community takes them seriously, to them chillin’ in bed together having a philosophical debate over what kind of dancer god would be.

In spite of how bat shit insane their relationship is, and all the evil things they’ve done as villains, you can’t help but be endeared by them and low key kinda root for them.

Even though in the main line comics, brain and Mallah are broken up as of the latest Unstoppable Doom Patrol run, with brain dead (thanks to Mallah betraying and murdering him) and Mallah going off to do his own thing by taking over a city with the other villainous DC apes in the Ape-ril Special one shot (which I mean tbh good for him), someone at DC seems to have as much of a soft spot for these two as much as I do. Since they’ve appeared as a couple in other recent DC continuities/adaptations, such as the Peacemaker Tires Hard miniseries and, of course, My Adventures With Superman. Which I am more than happy about.

Don’t get me wrong, I completely understand why most people wouldn’t be a fan of Brain and Mallah and their ship for… several reasons. But come on man! It’s a French Gorilla and a Brain in a jar who are supervillains and madly in love! How can you stay mad at a canon queer ship that delightfully bonkers!?

#ernest #the brain #brain #monsieur mallah #mallah x brain #dc #dcu #dc comics

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samthehyena · 6 months ago

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sam's togachako fic rec masterlist

So the tumblr thread with togachako recs from the other day inspired me to make this post that’s supposed to be a masterlist of my togachako recs. I’m sure I’ve forgotten to add some of the recs I’ve included in my ao3 author’s notes before LMAO. Also, I’m planning to update this list with any new togachako recs I want to add in the future. For now I'm only including completed fics.

1K-5K

A lovely fic with lyrical prose in which Himiko is Medusa and Ochako is her blind GF. It explores Himiko's profound grief over Jin and her relief of finally having human connection be attainable again.

A nice little fic from arguably one of the best femslash writers in that fandom. It checks off all the boxes for everything I could want out of a Togachako fic: a theme of acceptance, exploring what could have been in another life and SO MANY cute moments. Also, the ambiguous ending just feels so right.

A heartfelt bite-sized read that features Himiko and Ochako navigating life together and quirk prejudices in the aftermath of the war. It's so soft with references to spicy moments sprinkled in. (Who doesn't love Togachako and THE BITING?) It's just so sweet to see Himiko trying to grow beyond her past and having Ochako to rely on.

One of my fav Togachako smut one shots. It's so sweet and cute and I want to craddle it in my arms. I love how the story shows Himiko helping Ochako work through self-esteem issues - also, what's not to love about technically self-cest.

The university setting suits Togachako's dynamic really well. I love Himiko's pastel goth aesthetic and Ochako's initial animosity toward her strange lab partner before growing enamored.

I really enjoyed this soulmates AU one-shot since it tied in so well with how much Togachako loves each other despite the odds seemingly being against them. This story really is a testament to how there is no universe in which Ochako could possibly hate Himiko.

A super cute one-shot with a unique matchmaking setup! I was especially fond of the way Ochako’s gay panic was written and Himiko’s dialogue was incredibly fun to read. The parallels drawn between Himiko and Ochako in the fic are super compelling!

This is fluffy togachako established relationship oneshot has some gorgeous poetic prose that makes for an evocative read! It also just was such a soft vibe to it that makes this fic feel like a warm hug every time I read it.

I love this songfic so much!!! It utilizes a vignette style to hit some really poignant notes by giving glimpses it Himiko and Ochako’s past as childhood friends which is later contrasted by their reunion in the present day. The fic packs a punch with some excellent hurt/comfort.

This is some absolutely gut-wrenching hurt/comfort with parallels between togachako and dabihawks. I think it's one of the best togachako fics I've read in a while.

Actor AU togachako? YES PLEASE! The first fic I read in this fandom was an actor AU so I’ve always had a soft spot for this particular niche. Anyways, there’s a lot of cute moments in this and the pining is very strong in the best way possible. Also, the confession scene at the end is totally cute. There’s also some fun nods to krbk and excellent dialogue between Ochako and Katsuki.

I feel like I happen to be the EXACT target audience for this delightful cracky fic. It’s a humorous togachako chatfic (which is my jam) with some cheeky innuendo as well as some excellent and immersive HTML formatting. I also love how this fic provides both Ochako and Himiko’s POV to get the full picture :)

5K-15K

“Pleasing Our Infernal Princess” by intheeveningsunrise | 8.5K | Isekai | Scum Villain Fusion | Useless Lesbians

There is some excellent Ochako introspection and I like how genre-savvy this fic is. Himiko and Ochako’s relationship is also explored in a very fun way as Ochako tries to escape her predestined fate and Himiko manages to see Ochako for who she is at heart. Also, there’s some excellent platonic scenes between Ochako and Bakugo. As someone who hasn’t read scum villain I can vouch that this fic is an excellent read even if you aren’t familiar with SVSSS. In general, I highly recommend giving this a read if you love isekai/transmigration stories and femslash. There is also an incredibly fun twist at the end of this fic :)

An absolutely stellar role reversal fic that stays true to Ochako's and Himiko's characterizations as their lives take a very different trajectory. Ochako's desperation as she tries to fight against the metaphorical shackles tying her down and the pressure the HPSC puts on Himiko makes this story so engaging. This fic was the VERY FIRST togachako fic I ever read and to this day it holds up as one of my all-time favorites!!!!

While I have not read this fic yet (it’s been on my TBR for ages), my main enabler for all things femslash has been singing this fic’s highest praises. According to her, this is an excellent fic to read to get into the togachako ship since it hits many key tropes for the ships (e.g. Ochako’s sapphic internal panic) and strikes the perfect balance between being a meaty enough fic to thoroughly explore the ship while still remaining a one-shot. Also this fic has Greek mythology elements :3

Lowkey this might be one of the best togachako fics I’ve ever read and it still holds up really well with the current togachako landscape despite being written before the togachako manga chapters were dropped. It has an excellent characterization of Himiko and delves into the anxieties of starting over in a poignant way. Also the identity shenanigans and the way guilt festers as Himiko dances around the truth is very compelling. There are also moments of some super cute banter. And this fic is meaty enough to really get a taste of what makes togachako such a fun ship but is short enough to read in one sitting. An excellent first togachako fic to read if you want to get into the ship.

Greater than 15K

This is THE Togachako fic - if you haven't heard of it already, believe me if you mention this fic in a group of togachako enthusiasts, people will start gushing about it immediately. The villain/hero dynamic is so fun in this with a lot of excellent toxic Yuri tension - and OMG Ochako's characterization is great in this (there is this one flashback scene from her childhood that still lives rent-free in my mind XD). And there are so many good interpretations like Ochako's past relationships with Izuku and Tsu that just HIT. Also, the smut is EVERYTHING - I really want to go into details but I'll hold back because it's so much more fun if it's a surprise.

There are a million things I could say about this fic but I will try to keep it brief. This is a Revolutionary Girl Utena and MHA crossover that expertly explores themes of repression, gender, storytelling and what it means to be a hero. Taking advantage of MHA’s large cast, this fic not only does a fantastic job with togachako’s characterization but also does a great job of getting to the core of the side character’s motives and perception of the world. Also, the fic ticks so many quintessential togachako boxes (everything from Himiko being repressed to Ochako’s resilience and unconditional care for Himiko). AND THE FORMATTING OMG!!!!! This fic takes workskin shenanigans to the next level!!! I’m still thinking about the stroke of coding genius in the final chapter. Like y’all would not believe the amount of brainrot this fic induced. Anyways, as someone who has not watched Utena yet I can vouch that this fic reads well regardless of whether you have watched RGU or not :3

Some of my stuff

Here are some togachako fics I’ve worked on that I like best and their descriptions.

Summary: The only reason Ochako signed up for a dating app was because Mina convinced her that making fun of people's profiles would be a fun way to pass the time. But soon enough she finds herself connecting with a girl under the pseudonym "Carmilla". Still, one looming question stops Ochako from labeling Carmilla as more than a friend: Who exactly is she in real life?

Summary: After fighting Himiko and bleeding out, Ochako finds herself reliving the same day of middle school over and over again. And she can’t quite piece together why that one ordinary day is worth repeating at all. Except for Himiko that day is anything but random – after all, it was the day she stabbed her middle school classmate as her mask finally slipped.

Is Himiko’s future really set in stone? Will Ochako be able to break the loop?

Only time will tell.

Summary: Years after the war, Ochako is desperately trying to move on from her grief for Toga with her new situationship. But it's so hard to keep things casual when Ochako's fling reminds her of Himiko in so many ways.

Summary: Ochako's friends are suspicious of her online girlfriend. For all they know Himiko could be a villain, a serial killer or even a vampire.

Author’s Commentary: I guess I would consider this fic something akin to my magnum opus lol. There’s a lot of silliness and subplots with a strong focus on LOV Found Family and Married Dabihawks in addition to the Togachako. A lot happens. Bakugo gets character development, Shouto is convinced Ochako’s girlfriend is a vampire from Twilight, Mineta gets a mini redemption arc and Dabi decides that maybe patricide isn’t for him.

#togachako #himiko toga #ochako uraraka #fic rec #fic recs #i'm sure i can find even more recs in my bookmarks or a togachako server so feel free to reach out to me at any time #i don't bite :3 #i prefer it when togachako does the biting

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jamethinks · 3 months ago

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One part of me thinks Loid and Yor shouldn’t have anymore kids (well specifically Yor shouldn’t get pregnant) because that only furthers the natalist undertones I refuse to promote in my work but also Pregnant!Yor and TwiYor baby sound like so much fun eeeeeeee

But here’s my thing, I don’t think yor wants to have kids. Like I think she does but in a “nobody considered the possibility that she wouldn’t kind of way” you know. Like when you read a book or watch a movie and there’s a character who clearly would be better off gay or trans but the creator never actually considered that as a legit choice and so the character was left spiraling. That’s what I think is happening with Yor and motherhood. Because no matter how hard the story tries to convince me otherwise I know that she would be at her happiest alone in a nice house not having to care for anyone and live by her own rules.

To me, rejecting family life and “normality” would be the best conclusion for her character. Because I do believe women who experienced parentification are least likely to want to have kids of their own as adults. I think I’m the end the thing Yor wants the most is freedom, the freedom she lost the day her parents died and the day she became an assassin. I interpret her desire to be normal as a conditioned thought, she knows she’s not normal and that’s her desires for happiness make her abnormal. She feels guilty for not wanting kids or not wanting to be a wife but she’s compelled to prove her normality by participating in traditional gendered roles. Being the person everyone says she should be.

Obviously she has Anya so being child free is out of the bag and she is married so that is also not an option but the beauty is Twilight/Loid can be the one person who actually encourages her to be the independent person that she’s always wanted to be. He can provide her with the support to chase after her dreams and ensure that her relationship with Anya is an authentic one and not just a draining one. Providing her with ample support and not making her feel guilty for not wanting to do certain things. And one of those things is expanding the family. By not having anymore kids and simply focusing on ensuring his wife’s happiness and she is able to live as abnormal as she desires, I do believe twilight can help Yor be the best version of herself.

Yor deserves to be the free young woman she never got to be growing up and her husband and daughter should only enable that lifestyle not restrict it. To me, having more kids would only further confine her to a life of being needed and used which she doesn’t deserve. Let Yor be free. Say no to giving Anya a little sibling. Twilight already has his daughter who he saved for a life of hell he don’t need no more. Reject the natalist belief a story is only complete when the character gets married and has kids. Be free

#spy x family #sxf #loid forger #twilight #yor forger #I already decided Yor can’t have kids womp womp

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profoundbondfanfic · 8 months ago

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More Than One Ace to Play

More Than One Ace to Play by Cozaure Rating: Teen and Up Word Count: 57k

Cas, a 3rd-year biology student, is an introverted and very anxious guy. Full of insecurities, he doesn't need to add one more thing to worry about in his life (and certainly not his potential "asexuality"). However, one day, he meets Dean at a poker night his roommate Balthazar is hosting. Dean is Cas’ exact opposite : easy-going, confident, funny… and also, very flirty. They keep bumping into each other around the campus and, somehow, every time Cas is with Dean, all of his worries seem to go away… However, when Cas learns about Dean’s reputation as “the master of one-night stands”, he is certain that they are DEFINITELY ABSOLUTELY not compatible. Or, are they?

We’re back at it with another college AU. More Than One Ace to Play caught my eye thanks to the asexual!Cas tag. Always on the lookout for any ace rep, this fic didn’t disappoint even a little. One of the things I loved about it was how much it embraced Cas’s journey with figuring out his sexuality beyond knowing for sure that he’s gay. Not only does he come to terms with who he is, but he does so all while battling his anxiety, the portrayal of which I found accurate and compelling with the way the author wrote it.

This story is told from Cas’s POV, but with that comes a great depiction of Dean as an easy-going college student, living a pretty damn good life when he meets Cas at poker night. The magic of fanfic finds them volunteering for the same program where they are immediately paired up as partners hosting afternoon activities and tutoring with young kids. They become fast friends and even though Cas doubts it at every turn, we the reader can tell Dean is interested in being more than just friends with Cas, even if they think it’s for different reasons. You can’t help but fall for Dean a little too, when he stumbles his way through asking Cas out on a date that Cas is convinced isn’t a date. You feel for Cas as his anxiety dictates his doubt in Dean’s flirting, and, as tagged, Dean’s constant winks. When they finally figure it all out, you’ll be just as relieved and delighted at the outcome, a very satisfying happy ending you shouldn’t skip.

#destiel #fic rec #teen and up #50k to 100k #au #college #fluff #pining!castiel #pining!dean #ace!castiel #author: Cozaure #More Than One Ace To Play

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lovelessrage · 3 months ago

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I have been struck by an urge to discuss Bojack Horseman. While I am not asexual, I am aspec in every other sense outside of it, and Todd Chavez still matters a lot as a character to me. It was the first canon aspec, the first character where it is said, matters to his plot, and impacts his life, that I had ever seen in a show I actually enjoyed.

A lot of aspec representation feels like it isn't made for me; it's made for young/rowdier teens, and while that's a demographic that needs those figures, it leaves me feeling like reading these books and watching these shows just aren't my thing. It isn't my carnival ride; it feels like I'm too old, despite... not being that old. Maybe it's my humour or my preferences, I dunno. Regardless, Todd Chavez feels like, for all his goofy antics and being the character that has the most absurd life out of anyone, an adult facing a real crisis of identity. Not a teenager coming to terms, but an adult man realizing what's expected of him as an adult is immensely limiting and petrifying as a closeted asexual.

The way his first interaction with being aspec is not being comfortable with labelling it yet, setting boundaries about whether he likes jokes, trying to find community but still feeling a bit lonely and out of place. It all feels very natural, real, and lived. And so does his relationship with Yolanda, which was immensely good commentary to me about aspec loneliness.

Especially for those who still like to date, have hookups, QPRs, or any other type of committed dynamic, it often feels like you are compelled to choose the first person who offers it to you, because you have no other choice. This extends to other queer labels as well, such as T4T struggles and the gay and lesbian dating scene, but we're talking aspecs right now and we'll stay on that ball. There is nothing wrong with Yolanda, which I like as well, she's not framed as a bitter person or frigid, they're just not meant for each other. I also like the inclusion of, despite how different they are, Yolanda is still desperate to cling to this because she's afraid she'll never meet another asexual again. It is, again, a real problem; people getting into unhappy relationships because they think it is all they will get.

That's why this show's representation speaks to me so much, even if it's not my label. It feels like an honest confrontation of aspec issues, rather than just making a character aspec as a one-off, or only confronting it for one episode. As well, it doesn't belittle Todd for this aspect or make his problems childish. It's another adult problem alongside all the others the characters are going through, and there are plenty of references to the struggle of acceptance and the struggle of existence without making asexuality at fault for any of it. It is acephobic society, not asexuals, being blamed. They get to be part of the humour rather than at the expense of it.

There gets to be ace joy alongside ace struggle, and neither are treated as more worth focusing on or telling a story about. His later happiness with Maude is celebrated by his family and friends, and his coming out is met with understanding, even if it's not fully informed. He gets to meet other asexuals, and even if it does not solve his problems, it lends a needed helping of reminding the audience there is a community, not just an individual.

Nothing in Bojack Horseman is instantaneous. No change of character is simply a heelturn and a continuation. I am always immensely happy on every rewatch to see how much time was devoted to making Todd's asexuality journey mean something and mean something to his life. To me, this is the textbook example of what it means to write an aspec character with their identity in mind; it's not just a label, it's also how your life is affected, your relationships, and how you see your future.

#asexual #ace #acespec #aspec #bojack horseman #todd chavez #scowl corner

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elhopper1sm · 1 year ago

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Unpopular opinion but I'm tired of people conflating queer media that doesn't appeal to them specifically with bad representation or queer media for straight people. Also queer media for straight people can be valuable. Because honestly yeah some mom who just found out her kid is queer who doesn't know many queer people or mentors to teach her how to navigate it would probably look to media. So queer media for straight cis people has a place. And secondly just because queer media doesn't appeal to you specifically doesn't mean it's for queer people. Like take Love, Simon for example. Everyone accused Becky Albertalli of writing a queer book to pander to a straight audience. Even though I a queer person loved it and I was out as queer by the time I had read it. The book is actually really good as a book and it actually has some for a YA novel written by a white author rather nuanced racial commentary. The movie Love, Simon had multiple queer people working behind the scenes and the movie literally helped inspire one of the leads Keiynan Lonsdale to come out . Yet people still accuse it of being for straight people. Why? Because it was fluffy and light hearted and followed the story of a white kid in the suburbs with a stereotypical American family. Because it didn't appeal to them. Even though many of the queer people I know personally said the "You get to exhale now" scene meant so much to them. Even though prior to even coming out as bi which she was pressured to do over the backlash of Love , Simon. She worked with gender non-conforming kids as a social worker and made sure to be mindful of the community. Even though she openly encouraged black actors to play her characters even if they were originally written as white in the books (she was quite happy that Nick who was originally white in the books was casted as black in the films). Even though she collaborated with multiple queer people behind the scenes. she still got accused of writing a queer book for a straight audience. I'm only using this as an example. Now some people are doing the same with Heart stopper simply because it's popular and queer even though the author is openly aroace. I don't care for Heartstopper that much personal but I find other Osemanverse works more compelling(like say Solitaire). But I've never put down people who do for not being queer enough. Or for enjoying gay content for straight people.

TL:DR - Just because a piece of queer media doesn't apply to you doesn't mean it's queer content for a straight cis audience and even then queer content for a straight cis audience has a place and does matter.

#in defense of love simon #simonverse #becky albertalli #queer #discourse #love simon #heartstopper #rant

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disasterbijamietartt · 2 years ago

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After getting a sound night of sleep I started to feel like being all “oooh, queer Roy makes so much sense! And Jamie x Roy suddenly looks like something that could happen!” was being unfair to Colin and his arc.

Like it was mean and greedy that I wanted a queer story arc with main characters.

Like I should be happy with the nice cookie they handed me and not demand the whole fucking jar.

And that now that Colin finally got his arc, I shouldn’t wish for something to happen that could potentially overshadow him.

What a daring expectation it is to get not one but actually two (or more, I see you Ted x Trent shippers) well developed and fleshed out queer story arcs in mainstream media! (ah, the trauma of growing up in the 80’s & 90’s and being lucky if you got a queer side character that wasn’t the butt of all jokes and / or didn’t die )

Until I realized, that it wouldn’t. That on the other hand, it would be so rewarding for Colin's arc, if he is the one to helps fucking legend Roy Kent and star player Jamie Tartt, two people he admires and respects (like, I'd have to check, but wasn't it Colin who asked Roy if he'd come to the bar with them in 1x3? Was Isaac, but still - like Roy calls him son in the second episode, so there is a connection) to come out of the closet.

Colin deserves so so much to fucking inspire someone, to realise that he IS a strong and capable man, that he matters (especially after he was taken off the starting eleven for Zava) and is influential.

Like, all this talk about him being a chameleon, how he never was the focus of the narrative, how Nate in the whole Holiday Inn Painting thing told him, that he is not someone who inspires, unlike Jamie and Dani, sets this up perfectly

It could also be, that he inspires one or two of the other himbos (like Dani), but it would be way more impactful if he, who always was no more than a background character, is the inspiration for main characters to address their own queerness and come out.

And while it is a great message that straight alpha males can have a soft side, the message, that you can be a dominant alpha male professional footballer AND queer is stronger. Like, Roy’s a legend and while Jamie currently isn’t the best player on the team, he is one of their star players and the narrative made it clear that he is hella talented and a big star to come. So that is another argument for it being them, since we have a whole lot of himbos to hammer the straight guys can be soft too message home.

And it would be a compelling narrative to have Colin, who is at least out to himself and in a relationship, Jamie, who is at best getting comfortable with the thought but not really at a place to actually date someone, and Roy, who — if my assessment is correct — is so deep in the closet it is surprising he hasn’t found Narnia yet.

Also because of the generational gap — though they are technically all Millenials, being a queer Millenial born in the early eighties is a whole different experience than being a mid or late nineties queer Millenial.

So, now we have the WHY, onto my ideas HOW it could play out (that will probably be contradicted by the narrative by tomorrow, but I want it out in the unrealistic case I’m right 🤪)

I picture something like Michael breaking things off in a couple episodes because he is sick of pretending to be the best friend & wingman, and Trent stepping in as a gay mentor (maybe they meet at a gay bar in Amsterdam by chance, Colin slightly panics and that is the moment Trent tells him he already knew but kept it to himself since it is Colin’s decision to talk about it — it is very important to me, that the person who has the agency in regards of his coming out is Colin!) and finally Colin finding the courage to come out to the team.

Now it is nice and good, if the team reacts supportive, but the additional layer of his coming out being the thing that sparks Roy and Jamie to come clean about their feelings?

Chef’s kiss!

There are several ways this could play out (like I have a trizillion ideas how Jamie x Roy could actually work and which role Keeley would play into this and how this could culminate in Roy x Jamie x Keeley endgame), but here is one:

Colin has a speech prepared that he gives in the locker room, everyone listens attentively and then we have a sweet moment with Isaac and the other himbos being supportive.

But!

Roy is making his little upset face, grunts something and storms off the locker room.

Something that visibly upsets Colin, which is why Jamie says he's going to give Roy a piece of his mind and follows him. Of course he’ll find him in the kit room.

Jamie is set to give Roy a sermon about homophobia and how his reaction right now wasn't cool even for an old person.

But Roy is close to tears and Jamie is confused and tries to comfort him, asking what is going on, and that is when Roy kisses him, Jamie’s being a bit surprised at first, but then kisses him back and …

Cue for a shot of Will standing in the corner, looking into the camera like he is in the Office with this “Why am I always in this room at the wrong time?”-face.

And when they get back, Roy asks Colin to come to his office to talk to him privately and then Roy apologizes and explains how Colin’s speech affected him, since he could have never been so brave, but now he is inspired to try to be true to himself.

And Colin is like “OMG I did this.”

And now, that he knows that he is fully accepted by the team as the person he truly is and and someone who does inspire people, he has the confidence to actually show his potential as a player and plays a significant role in Richmond winning the whole thing in the end.

And he uses his moment in the spotlight to come out publicly, since even though this is scary and homophobic fans will give him shit, he has a team and club that has his back and that is the way he can be truly inspiring.

And that is how we get Colin Hughes, most inspiring football player in the whole fucking world. 😌

EDIT:

After 3x6 and Colin stating he doesn't want to be a spokes person, I changed my vision a bit.

So, Colin still inspires Jamie and Roy to come to terms with there feelings/queerness, yadda yadda, and essentially inspires Jamie to come out publicly and take on the mantle as the spokesperson, since this is something that fits him better than Colin, since he is more comfortable being in the limelight and actually likes being the center of attention. Colin would be able to just kiss his fella after a game, but wouldn't have to carry the burden of being the first out player in the Premier League.

Also: It would be such a great ending for Jamie's arc, if Jamie’s legacy, the thing he’ll be remembered for, wouldn’t be being best striker in the Premier League or the world or anything like that, but that he’d been known for unapologetically being his true, best self—something he’d denied himself being for so long because of his dad’s abuse. And wouldn’t that be poetic?

#my meta #colin hughes #jamie tartt #roy kent #jamie x roy #ted lasso speculations #ted lasso

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motziedapul · 2 years ago

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Engaging with fiction in good faith allows you to build empathy by experiencing things through the eyes of other people

and refusing to engage with certain fiction because of a hard line moral stance against The Wrong Kind Of Fiction just makes you a less empathetic person over all.

The thing is, I engage with a lot of fiction that I would object to in real life. Sometimes I also run into fiction that I'm not particularly happy or comfortable with, but because the story is compelling, engaging, genuine and earnest and presented in a vulnerable, earnest, human way, my surface level distaste is overridden by my connection with a stranger who I've been given the opportunity to know.

I just read a comic by a gay man that has heavy drug use, written in a way that has an intimate knowledge of the kind of life and culture a lot of gay men run into, full of casual sex and hard drugs and sudden death and violence. The protagonist isn't a bad person, but he's also not the best person, but you root for him all the way through. And then he has a really bad trip and dies.

I don't feel particularly comfortable with any of that, but I was engaged all the way through. And by simplistic metrics many people might not consider it "good gay rep" or whatever because it involves a gay man doing all the hard drugs, being promiscuous and then dying, but it was written authentically, by a gay man who clearly has had experience with these things, and encourages you the reader to seek help and provides resources if you've experienced something similar.

I do not accept the idea that you should always have a moral stance on the fiction you consume. You don't have to make excuses, or have caveats, to justify the "problematic fiction" you've engaged with, maybe even enjoyed. Because a lot of fiction, particularly indie fiction, is a conversation between a creator revealing something honest and vulnerable, and a reader learning about the lives of others and experiences they will never have.

And it is a silly exercise to try to give that sort of conversation a (very ironically named) Common Sense Media review because it's got violence and drugs and kinky sex or whatever.

It is easy to stick to fiction you're comfortable with. I've done it, I do it. But in my experience, allowing yourself to engage with other people's stories, comfortable or not, is healthy for you as a human being in learning empathy and compassion for other human beings. Try reading some books in the local library, or do what I did and buy a bunch of indie comics and books from a convention full of indie creators (easy) and actually read them (Dark Souls Hard Mode).

And who knows, maybe you'll find something that'll change your life, or help you grow as a person. Or maybe you'll find a cool new thing you like.

#fiction #representation #media literacy

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out-of-the-forest-i-come · 9 months ago

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Running Close to the Wind Review

Running Close to the Wind comes out June 11th in the US, and June 13th in the UK, so make sure to preorder it or mark the date, because it's a gem of a book.

Pirates but make it gay and absolutely unhinged. Then take that, and make it horny and polyamorous. Congratulations, you now have Running Close to the Wind.

Avra, lucky poet and partially retired spy for Arast, accidentally stole the one trade secret most of Arast’s fortune is based on. He also accidentally reunited with Captain Tevari, a pirate with a ruthless reputation and his on-again off-again ex of the past fifteen years, who may or may not want him dead, or at the very least as far away from them as possible. To keep himself from being thrown overboard, Avra reveals to Teveri and their crew the secret he’s stolen, and together they devise a plan to sell it and make as much money off it as possible. Enters Julian, an extremely attractive monk bound by an unfortunate vow of celibacy, scholar extraordinaire and last essential piece to help them achieve their plan. Avra now has three problems on his hands: finding a way to sell the secret without being found out and killed by Arast, make up with Teveri, and convince Julian to abandon his vow of celibacy.

Forget everything you’ve just imagined about this book, forget the comparisons to Our Flag Means Death and Six of Crows, however accurate they may be, because whatever your expectations are about this book, it will blow them away. I went in with high expectations, both because of the promise of a heist like in Six of Crows, one of my favourite books ever, and because I loved A Taste of Iron and Gold, the first and only Alexandra Rowland book I’d read. Despite this, nothing had prepared me for the wild, unhinged ride that Running Close to the Wind proved to be.

Alexandra Rowland introduces us to fiery, vivid characters, whose personalities both clash and compliment one another’s. Avra could be an obnoxious and annoying character, what with his exuberant personality and endless supply of dirty jokes, but instead I found him most endearing, and it was incredibly easy to empathise with him and long for his happy ending. Similarly, Teveri’s personality could have driven me away. Instead, and partly thanks to Avra’s adoration of them, they were so easily lovable and relatable. And Julian’s wit and daunting complimented this pair so well, bringing nuance while playing into their games. This made for delicious relationships, and dynamics that had me cackling and squealing, and made me yearn for more development of their relationship, yearn to know what would happen and how it would end. From a writer’s point of view, I am admirative of Alexandra Rowland’s well-proven ability to play with a variety of characters and personalities, and render them all equally vivid and compelling, and to make readers fall for all kinds of relationships, from the calm one in A Taste of Gold and Iron to the fiery one in Running Close to the Wind.

Another thing I loved and admired was the balance between plot and character arc. This story is cleary character-led and the point of it is not so much what happens to the secret, although it is an important part of the story, as what growth the characters undergo. And grow they do. These arcs were mastered from start to end, and Alexandra Rowland found just how much of character arc and how much plot they could give us so that the story would neither feel plot-heavy nor character-heavy. This is no easy feat, but Alexandra Rowland mastered it seamlessly, and it merits some applause.

Overall, Running Close to the Wind is like no other book I’ve ever had to pleasure to read. It is wild and hilarious, and I don’t remember the last time a book made me laugh so much, but I’ll definitely remember that time. This story reads well and quickly, the worldbuilding blending it perfectly with the rest, even for those who haven’t read or don’t remember much about the worldbuilding of A Taste of Gold and Iron, set in the same world. Running Close to the Wind is a masterpiece of a story, lighthearted and yet treating serious topics without weighing down the atmosphere of the book. It is endlessly fun, surprisingly crude and dirty in its jokes, and vivid from beginning to end. Those who have loved Freya Marske’s books will most likely love this book as well, as will Alexandra Rowland’s fans and anyone interested in queer pirates. If you dislike sex-related jokes or crude language, refrain from reading this book, as it is riddled with such jokes and language—and it is what makes part of its charm.

Thank you Pan Macmillan and NetGalley for provinding me with an ARC of this book. All opinions in this review are mine and unbiased.

#running close to the wind #alexandra rowland #book review #queer books #fantasy books #queer fantasy #queer pirate books #queer romance #polyamory #mlm #mlnb #queer characters #book thoughts #out of the queue i come #out of the forest out of the brain

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favcharacterpoll · 1 year ago

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ROUND 3 MATCH 64: NICO VS. THE DOCTOR

Nico di Angelo from the Riordanverse faces The Tenth Doctor from Doctor Who. WHO do you like more?

Nico Propaganda:

"autism"

YOU KNOW WHAT. if autism isn't enough to compel you to VOTE NICO then i will write this.

ok so he's gay & european (like the legally blonde song) and also a goth. we love our goths here on tumblr right?!

first i need to provide you a visual. please imagine a small italian boy. now imagine that small italian boy going through a time machine hotel casino in vegas, some wack crazy traumatic incidents, becoming an alt/emo kid and being so fucking powerful that even gods show a little more respect to him than others...

nico has gone through literal hell TWICE !! one time it was VOLUNTARY !! and all the while he was probably experiencing said hell in its most terrifying form. this shows us his mental resilience and selflessness are incredibly strong traits of his and that maybe he should stop being a reckless bitch but whatever !!!!!!

tumblrinas listen up... nico was the first canon lgbt+ character created by rick riordan in the chb chronicles (i am not counting all the other gods, goddesses, minor deities and other figures of greco-roman myth). he was the trailblazer. his story didn't end in tragedy, but he found friendship and love and family, which in this age of upsetting "bury your gays" media is still quite hopeful to read!!

nico has a sunshine bf who would literally walk through hell with him!! i'm not kidding. this actually happened. i'm sure he's definitely cheering from the sidelines somewhere... please do not let will solace down!!

did i mention nico's the son of hades, god of the underworld?? this means his powers include, but are not limited to, being able to communicate with spirits via mcdonalds happy meals, wielding a sword that rends souls asunder, turning people into ghosts, re-animating skeletons, shadow traveling and being able to read other people's death auras.

these powers and his terrifyingly grumpy personality (in earlier books) have created a reputation famous among the demigods and deities. also he literally summons an entire skeleton army and rises from the fucking underworld with his father, stepmother and step-grandmother (all gods) (how does this work) in tow, inspiring FEAR and PANIC among the enemy lines.

and if that's not enough, he's friends with lizard people, his signature items of clothing are a BIG AVIATOR JACKET + SKULL RING = VERY GOOD CHARACTER DESIGN and his hair canonically smells like rain on stone. just so you know

VOTE NICO VOTE NICO VOTE NICO !!!!!!!!!!!"

Tenth Doctor Propaganda:

"hot murderer"

"They’re a thousands of years old time traveler who travels the universe, helping out wherever they can."

"Idk"

"doctor sweep on the doctor who website"

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lunarriviera · 1 year ago

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on the importance of beta screaming

i would like to say a little bit here in this chili’s tonight about the vital, indispensible role of beta enthusiasm.

because yeah we all know we get tied in knots in our prose, write sex scenes with impossible numbers of hands, dangle modifiers, repeat words, commit horrifying typos like “he licks with his tounge.” i have several useless graduate degrees so yes i can fix all those things for you or offer revision suggestions. as well, i am a north american who lived in the uk and divorced a londoner, so i can also britpick or yankpick your fic. then, it’s important to have at least one beta who can check you if you’re writing about a culture other than your own. finally, i usually will only beta for fic with whose canon i am intimately familiar.

those things are helpful, even essential. but there is something else a beta reader not only can do, but has to do, and that is scream.

look it’s hard out here for a pimp okay. we are in our little offices or bedrooms or hunched on the bathroom floor with the phone just trying to write our little stories. we made a tiny gay man and we gave him problems, and now we are going to make it YOUR problem. and then we will all thrash around and yell happily together, for we love this tiny gay man.

but until someone picks that fic out of the tag and clicks on it and reads it and starts keysmashing in the comment box, you’re all alone. just you, in your head, in your room, while you’re walking around the park, while you’re shampooing your hair, while you’re cleaning the cat’s litter pan—it’s just you. (and, sure, also the imaginary friends who spout riveting or hilarious dialogue in your head. them too.)

and when you’re all alone with just your words and your little people, a terrible and completely unique kind of loneliness can sink in. were they the right words? were they funny, pretty, tragic, joyful, smart? do they truly convey the depth of your feeling? and above all else: can they compel someone else to feel what you felt? because you’ve read that fic that made you scream into a pillow at 2 am. and you wonder: can i do that for someone else? can i feel my feelings so strongly and so well that they reach out of the screen and haul someone else in along with them?

and in the hours, days, weeks of waiting for someone to reach back through the pixels for you, a beta steps in to fill that space. this, she will let you know, is good. this is REALLY good. this is so good she’s gonna dword. she has no chill. she is about to mclose it. how dare you. she thought you were friends. now you’re in a fight. elmo in flames dot gif., screaming girl dot png., spongebob burying himself dot webp.

this is not an OPTIONAL feature of a beta reader. this is not just a nice thing that it’s nice to have. this might be the ESSENTIAL function of a beta. her hand is over your head and it’s briefly sheltering you from the pouring rain. hey listen! she says, and she cups your face in her hands: SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP. and you, wherever you are in the world, even if you’re 24 hours away from her on the globe, you put your palms to your cheeks to feel the warm blush of happiness and relief. someone else is out there, picking up what you’re throwing down. and you did not fuck it up. it’s actually entirely possible that you nailed it.

without her, you wouldn’t know. and in fact in a small fandom, without her, there wouldn’t BE that much of a fandom. so you and your beta get to be a part of that little group of people who keep a set of stories, a family of characters, alive. that’s fun too. (plus you get to backchannel about all the horribly Wrong Opinions everyone else has. this both saves you from making an ass of yourself on social media, and will make you guffaw during a zoom meeting if you’re not careful.)

so get you a beta reader who’s a screamer. i said what i said. don’t settle for someone who can be nitpicky about the past perfect but who never says anything positive; people will remember and come to read the fic that’s stunning and strange and new even if you forget to use “had.”

i aim for about 50/50 between praise and suggestions (the same proportions i use as a professor), but if i’m honest it winds up being more like 80/20 for fanfic. that’s okay. if i’m gonna err, i’d rather err on the side of encouragement.

we get so little of that, either as writers or just in the world. we get so little hand-holding and shoulder rubs and affectionate hollering. so when you beta, think about letting loose a little. think about, sure, exaggerating for effect. you know how sweet it feels when someone gets all exuberant all over your drafts—so maybe allcaps a little bit, as a treat. it feels pretty great. you’ll see.

(oh and ps: save a life. leave an ao3 comment.)

#y'all beta readers are out here every day doing the lord's work #show them some love #buy them some dark chocolate #beta readers #beta reading #fic betas #fanfiction betas #writeblr #fic writing

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lurkingshan · 1 year ago

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Semi-coherent screaming about Shadow eps 1-7

Well I love this show, goddamn! I did not expect to be so into this, as I am not a horror girlie at all, but here I am having binged all seven episodes in one sitting. The storytelling here is fantastic, with a compelling cast of characters, beautiful visuals, and themes around family trauma, the nature of forgiveness, and the damage caused by homophobia. I think there are a few other things going on here thematically that have not come all the way to the fore yet, but a few of the ideas I am thinking about most:

This show is, in fact, not a bl. By which I mean it is not a romance narrative. There are explicitly queer characters, there is a potential love line that’s essentially a D plot, and there may well be some kind of romantic climax later in the story, but the relationship between Dan and Nai is not the focus of the narrative and their potential romance does not drive the plot at all.

Instead, this is a story primarily about trauma, and intergenerational family trauma is the biggest focus alongside other forms that show up. Dan’s family trauma drives the narrative and is ostensibly the initial source of the shadow that haunts him (alongside whatever supernatural thing is happening to make it manifest in this particular way), and we see the traumas that have haunted Nai and Trin, as well.

I love Dan a lot and I was so goddamn happy when he refused to forgive his dad and instead beat him to a bloody pulp in his shadow dream. Hold that grudge, boo! We do not give out unearned forgiveness in this house!

Relatedly, Brother Anurak is on my shit list for pushing Dan to forgive his father and using his dead mother to do it. Fuck you very much, sir.

We are halfway through the show and Dan has not displayed any attraction or feelings beyond friendship for Nai. At this point I’m reading him as comphet with potential for a bisexual awakening, but he is definitely not knowingly queer at this point in his life (unless you count whatever he’s got going with the shadow). Dating anyone of any gender in his waking life seems to be the farthest thing from his mind. Nai, of course, very much knows he is gay and has suffered for it, and we see the themes around homophobia in both his and Trin’s backstories.

I am still wrapping my head around the shadow fucking Dan. Because, what??? It got introduced right toward the end of the available episodes so not sure what to make of it yet, but it adds a nice layer of complication to theories about exactly what the shadow is, and how it might have evolved over time as it stuck to Dan and he matured. It was also startling because outside those scenes there has been no sexual tension present in Dan’s story at all, in any direction. But he has gotten calmer about the shadow and its presence, almost seeming to even welcome it at times as it helps him sort through his memories. It’s clearly become a source of pleasure. Hmmm.

There must be some thematic tie between the sexual nature or Dan’s connection to the shadow and the “sexual deviance” shit we keep seeing directed at the gay characters. WKA speculated about the shadow as a representation of queerness and I can see some basis for that read.

I’m not sure yet exactly what the show is trying to say with Trin and his bipolar disorder. But we do know Dan’s shadow demon is being treated as sleep paralysis, so there could very well be something supernatural happening with Trin, too.

I was speculating with @wen-kexing-apologist about the meaning of Dan’s full name, Danai, being the same as the portmanteau for this show’s main pair (if we’d even call them that), Dan and Nai. They looked up the meaning and found that the name Danai was used in ancient cultures to signify bravery and a connection to higher powers. Just something to stew on!

All the teachers in this show are sus. The female teacher who is homophobic and fucking the school bully, obviously, but also every single one of them. I’ve got my eyes on you, creeps.

I am a big fan of Cha-aim and Josh. They’re nice kids and good friends and I hope they don’t turn evil or get hurt. But I don’t really care if they date.

The lighting in that scene with Dan wandering through the funhouse was sick. I’m going to be seeing it in my dreams. But who is that banshee guy wearing glasses!! Anan saw Trin, someone he wronged. So is glasses guy someone from Dan’s past that he harmed? Does the positioning of where we saw them each in the mirror (center or side panels) mean anything?

Overall, this is surprisingly not scary. I expected more of an explicit horror style with jump scares and maybe some gore, but there has been very little of that. The show generally plays fair and gives you warning cues when something creepy is about to happen. It’s going more for an ominous, haunting vibe than a scary one.

Do we know yet how the rest of this show is being distributed? Will it be weekly from here, or are they going to drop the second half in one go?

#shadow the series #thai drama #shan shouts into the void

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coquelicoq · 8 months ago

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hmmm for the shipping meme! matonato and hankim or yoohankim?

[ID: A graph with the x-axis labeled "makes sense" on the left and "doesn't make sense" on the right and the y-axis labeled "compels me" at the top and "doesn't compel me" at the bottom. points labeled MN for matonato, HK for hankim, and YHK for yoohankim have been situated on the grid: MN in the top left (makes sense, compels me), HK at the top and to the right of MN (makes some sense, compels me), and two points labeled YHK, one slightly above and to the left of the center (makes some sense, compels me some) and one in the bottom right (doesn't make sense, doesn't compel me). /end ID]

wow this threw me off because for some reason i assumed that makes sense would be on the right instead of the left! so hopefully i made all the necessary corrections to what i originally wrote lol.

matonato: makes sense, compels me. probably obnoxiously obvious to everyone at this point. do they get a happy ending? i mean it's very fun to think about and i love me a good actually-together-matonato concept, but probably the most compelling thing about them is the star-crossed aspect. it's not will they won't they, it's why they why not they. why do they want this and why can they never have it? it's, how can i make this about natori's self-hatred? it's, who is matoba if he quits the exorcist business? (EXTREMELY JUICY AND COMPELLING QUESTION 2 B ASKING.) it's, what changes in their individual priorities and self-conception would be necessary before they could get together? asking myself these questions and understanding why they in their current forms can't be in a relationship helps me to better articulate who exactly they are and what motivates them and gives me avenues for thinking about possible character development. but like i said i do really love thinking about matonato endgame, and even though i know it's never going to be canon (which it doesn't need to be, obviously! we are in our sandbox making our own dreams come true), i'm reading the homura arc like girl why did you do that. where are you going with this??? fellas is it gay to stalk your homoerotic rival's enemies and the answer is a resounding YES. they are a good ship because thinking about each of them in the context of the other expands my understanding and appreciation of their individual characters, but also because it would be sexy for them to mash their mouths together. both are very important elements of shipping 2 me.

hankim: i want to say this is one of the most compelling relationships in orv but they are all compelling, it's actually insane. however hankim is definitely tied for first (with twenty other relationships). her love for him is the beating heart of the story. like the entire plot hinges around her loving him so much she would [redacted], but also the central themes are exemplified by how she feels about him and what she does about it. and he trusts her in a way he can't really trust anyone else, because she knows enough about the world that he can be open with her about things he can't tell others, and because he trusts her to be competent and able to achieve his objectives. mostly to me though their relationship Is About her love for him because of how badly he needs it and how little he can understand it, and how central it is to his entire character that he needs but cannot understand receiving that kind of love. i have not yet succeeded in imagining any kind of compelling sexual relationship for them, except the somewhat indirect one where he gives her permission to make a kim-dokja-looking avatar with which to fuck yoo joonghyuk while kim dokja is elsewhere minding his own business, but that's fine, they don't need to be having sex to have a compelling relationship, obviously. so yeah it's compelling af and it does make sense, but i'm taking some sense points off because the kdj-to-hsy direction is pretty standard shipping material while the opposite direction is like the entire point of the book. it's a lil unbalanced.

yoohankim: this ship fascinates me because i definitely never would have come up with it myself. hankim? see above. yookim? see below. but yoohan - DESPITE THE WHOLE DEAL AROUND WHO YOO JOONGHYUK IS AND HOW HE GOT THAT WAY - are just like. Only Here For Kim Dokja. any relationship they have with each other is a proxy for a relationship with kim dokja, mediated by their feelings for kim dokja, and put through the sieve of who the other person is to kim dokja. i think they have a very psychosexual thing going on where they're having a lot of sex with each other but mostly in order to feel close to kim dokja, who is not involved lol. which is its own kind of compelling, certainly. i guess you could say yoohankim is the ONLY way that yoohan makes any sort of sense to me whatsoever, so in that regard yoohankim is squarely in the northwest quadrant. but at the same time i feel like if kim dokja is actually present, their relationship with each other is more like in-laws than anything else. it's indirect. they don't have divorced energy…they don't even have metamour energy. i don't know. they're like this is my sister's mailman and i have no idea what he's doing at my nephew's piano recital, which is insane to me because they should have (nonsexual) parent-child energy if nothing else. so i also have to put yoohankim in the southeast quadrant. so far this is where most yoohankim fic i have read falls, but probably i just haven't yet found the one that would unlock it for me.

to close the loop i gotta talk about yookim (joongdok). the most enjoyable thing about it to me personally is that yoo joonghyuk so clearly wants kim dokja to hold him down and it's very fun to see kim dokja have to shift his entire paradigm to make that make sense. i mean, i think all of kimcom wants to hold kim dokja down (most of them nonsexually imo), but yoo joonghyuk is the one guy who's like "if you would just stop trying to kill yourself for two seconds then i could let you out of these handcuffs so you could have your way with me. you bastard." they make me crazy because they work together SO well and trust each other SO implicitly while also being like, wow this idiot has terrible priorities and so i have to manipulate him into furthering my agenda (keeping him safe) instead of his agenda (keeping me safe). they're also that evergreen combo of guy with low self-worth who's oblivious to other people's love for him/guy who loves so hard but never uses his words about it that makes me wanna read about them getting together 100 different times. in a slightly different sense than with matonato, thinking about them as a twosome better elucidates aspects of their own individual personalities and worldviews, which makes for a compelling shipping experience.

#it's funny after i wrote the matonato part i was like wait. am i actually saying matonato DOESN'T make sense to me?#and i decided that no it does. it makes sense to me that their current iterations can never be together. but in a way where i'm #still shipping them #it makes sense that they don't make sense. and 'here's how [ship] can still win' is a backbone of the shipping economy #natsume's book of friends #orv #natsume yuujinchou #horrible exorcists #natsuyuu meta #shipping #asks #not anon #thank youuuu for asking <3333 v fun to think about!

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spuffybot · 7 months ago

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I’m reading the book Annie on my Mind and it’s a little bit dramatic but it also reminds me of just how much things have changed in a relatively short period of time. Annie on my Mind is a teen romance between two girls, Annie and Liza, written in the early 80s. Both girls experience intense shame and confusion around their queer feelings and when their relationship is discovered it causes intense outrage in their community, schools, and families.

Liza is suspended from school, and her teachers threaten to tell the college that accepted her about her immoral behavior.

When the school calls her parents, they react intensely and try to convince Liza that her feelings aren’t serious and don’t have to ruin her life.

At one point Liza’s dad says that he just doesn’t think gay people can be happy or have full lives.

This is something my mother said repeatedly to me when I was a teenager. “I just don’t want that life for you.” As though queerness were a death sentence. And in many ways, to my parent’s generation it WAS. There weren’t a million queer people on television. There were no out queer celebrities with their partners and children on display in magazines. There was AIDS and there were stories of bashings and there were people living secret hidden lives in order to protect their careers and reputations.

And that’s not to say that thriving queer community, culture, and life didn’t exist because it did! But it wasn’t in the mainstream culture the way it is today. It wasn’t visible and it wasn’t celebrated.

It was really hard for young queer people to find role models who could show them what a happy queer future could look like. I’m so lucky to have had queer friends at such a young age and to have experienced cultural milestones like Ellen coming out and Willow and Tara’s relationship being on TV. But even with that I dealt with an intense amount of shame and fear. Being out in middle school and high school led to bullying from students as well as teachers.

I suppose I felt compelled to write this all down because I find myself dwelling on the danger the queer community faces today. The attacks on trans people are intensifying every day. The hate crimes we have witnessed in the last few years are harrowing. It’s hard not to feel overwhelmed by it all, not to feel sucked into the black hole of doom scrolling.

Sometimes it helps to look back and remember that things do change. It’s not always fast and it’s not always a lot but they can get better. I needed that reminder today.

#personal #queer

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