#also if i'm starting to repeat myself on these

[nerdsbianhokie]

The post I originally saw went into billionaires, but I wanna add something else that's been on my mind lately, because I've been dealing with something like this recently and have been thinking of posting about it. So, yeah

Back in November I was robbed at work. A guy used a pen to threaten me to give me money from the register I was at.

It sucked. Even with it being a pen instead of a knife or something, my brain went right into shut down survival mode. I hit the panic button under the counter for security, gave him the money he asked for, then kind of just.... I dunno. I finished my shift but the rest of the day was a blur and my anxiety was through the roof for weeks after.

I fully could not work in that area for a bit and even talked to my manager about the possibility of having to move to another role, but it got better and I'm mostly over it.

Except, when I see other customers that remind me of him in any way, some of the anxiety comes back. It's manageable, I can tamp it down, but it's still there, that ping of 'this person might be a danger'.

It can be how they're standing where he was when I asked if he needed help. It can be a nervous demeanor.

Or, crucially, it can be them looking like him. The same skin tone, hair texture and color, because he wasn't white, and the only reason I'm even giving that information is because I have been dealing with this lingering fear when I people that remind me of him.

I know, on a logical level, that not everybody of his race is dangerous, that his race isn't a factor in what happened at all. On a deeper, survival, level, my brain is trying to find patterns to protect me from that danger again, and it's on me to remind myself that there is no pattern. It's gotten better, and it is now mostly the demeanor that'll trigger my anxiety (especially if they're standing in the spot he first was), but it's still something I have to work on.

So, yeah. This isn't just on the wider scale of oppression and systemic stuff. This is something that can happen on a very individual level but you can work through it.

Like @clowngames says above The first step is realizing what you're thinking and correcting it, and the next step is repeat step 1 until it starts happening automatically.

I would also add, be kind to yourself as you go through this, especially if it stems from trauma. It can be very distressing to find yourself having these reactions. You can work through them, but feeling guilty about it can make it harder as you focus on the guilt instead.

btw if you find yourself dehumanizing any person or group for any reason you've already lost

[erinwantstowrite]

might seem a bit out of nowhere

but i wanted to ask how you get started in writing. and i mean like how do you get into the ✨️flow✨️ of it after sitting down. 'cause i just tend to stare at my laptop

i struggle with getting into the flow a lot. which sounds crazy with how much i write, but it's true. usually when this happens, it's because i have a lot of inspiration, but no energy to complete anything. i have to make sure i start writing when i'm feeling good, after taking a break from my writing space. sometimes it's because im so exhausted from outside sources, which is more annoying than if i just needed a break from writing

but sometimes that writer's block hits HARD. sometimes i'm also staring at my document and not writing for hours on end. and when i do write, im in a constant state of "i don't like this" where i rewrite a chapter or just a singular scene over and over and over again. THIS is where i'd say i struggle the most with getting myself into the flow, and i can share what i do to guide myself out of it (here's a post i made a while back with other tips)

IMPORTANT: notice how i said GUIDE. you can not FORCE yourself into a flow. I repeat, you can not. it's impossible to force a flow, and if you try, you'll only make yourself hate writing. however. you can help yourself to get into a flow

-i take the time to go outside and/or get some exercise. i also mentioned that in the linked post but it's important so i talk about it a lot. i've recently decided to take up photography and birdwatching, and I got myself a hammock. as someone who's struggled with finding ways to enjoy being outside (I live in Louisiana and it's like i'm being slow cooked to death during the spring and summer), that's what gets me out there. i also make sure i hydrate and eat well because our bodies need fuel in order to create

-i read something new or i go back to something i haven't read in a while, and that (usually) helps TONS. i recently read some Sherlock adventures and I had a blast. right now I'm picking apart a "psychology" book (this author should be glad we will never meet, my annotations have not been kind), and i'm reading a book about fashion history. and my friends and I are going to start reading Dracula in our book club soon, which is exciting!! i have a lot of books on my to-read shelf and i annotate all of them. the annotations aren't necessary for this if you want to try but it's fun for me

(^ that being said, i'm gonna add on: sometimes i go reread fanfics that i like, and that's all well and good. there are very talented writers who only write fanfic!! but it's important to also read published works as well. if anyone wants a random recommendation for a book to try, hit me up. i'll give you a book that i have on my shelf or that i've been wanting to read for a while)

-i make a playlist or listen to a playlist to get in the mood before i try writing. specifically, i need something that i can imagine some scenarios to. i can't listen to music while i'm writing cause i'll get distracted, but doing so before helps me figure out the vibe im going for

-drawing. oftentimes i need a visual of what i'm trying to write. whether it's something like a character interaction or something like "i have no idea where everything/everyone is in this scene," it helps to have some paper nearby

-journaling!! i've talked about this a lot on here but i journal more than Ford in Gravity Falls. I'm not joking. I have a bookshelf dedicated to literal decades of writing and learning about writing. i have two notebooks for LoF, one for my DnD campaign, one for my personal records, etc. I have a new notebook ready for writing essays about the books i recently bought and am reading. my LoF notebooks are dedicated to messily writing up brainstorms or writing through scene ideas, i've written partial chapters in them by hand, etc etc. this helps me when im not in a writing mood to at least be doing SOMETHING. i rewrite my outline a LOT. also it helps me keep track of my timeline (i still fuck it up sometimes)

-actually forcing myself to sit down in front of the computer.

this sounds like the most obvious thing, but i'm talking i close out all my other tabs that i don't need for writing, i put my phone away across the room or in a different one entirely, i put on headphones and listen to only brown noise OR i get on a call with my friends to make myself not want to open Youtube or anything else. i'd rather sit there and stare at my computer than sit there and scroll on my phone or get distracted with something else and then be upset that i didn't write. even just staring at the document and working it out without writing a single word is better than that, because it means i was still working

in all honesty, you don't know you're in a flow until it Clicks. you could go do all of these and gain experience and knowledge for months on end and not write anything that whole time, and then one day you sit down and you knock out an entire chapter like nobody's business. it's just important to take care of yourself in the meantime and keeping your mind fresh

[noodledrawsandstuff]

(Tag dump/long post warning) Appreciation Post !!! Big ups to my gang

Felt like being nice today >:) This year hasn't been all that good to me, but these wonderful people have been a great help! (Even if I don't talk to/interact much with some of them) They're all sweethearts and if you like me for whatever reason then you should follow them if you don't already! (Sorry if I get repetitive but hehe + sorry if I forget someone... there's a shit load to go through here, I might need two posts-)

Of course I have to start with my all my fellas: cotton_candylover (watch-through buddy!), bara_kid_pirates (helped make my strawpage!) and purple_rainfrog (my co-writer in the dark ages...), you lot are great and I love watching through anime and being little shithead weirdos with you :3 why don't you have tumblr 😠 I'm going to skin you

@drago-is-me You are my lil guy and I want to grab and throttle you, also I love your art I want to kiss you platonically and then fight you to the death

@fortheloveofkiller I love your art sm!!!! You are greatness, and I will always respect a fellow Killer lover

@wyvernslovecake Shriek is my daughter and I love her dearly, you're very silly and I love you for it, also your writing is 👌

@perhapsrampancy Lovely friend of the worm (FOTW!!!) I want to give you a nice hug and a head pat and a big platonic kiss :3

@lxshoxk Your op bulls are yummy yummy and you are magnificent, you deserve all the best things you could want (and you're a FOTW for bonus points)

@d-angel00 Good FOTW and a very talented artist!! I adore you sm I wanna give you the biggest hug I can muster

@schwazombie Another lovely FOTW I adore you ty for the beautiful Killer on my straw page I love him

@baby-xemnas Peak lawbepo/luzo/kidkiller, incredible artist I want to kiss your art mwah it gives me life

@mekachu04 Incredible amazing showstopping artist, and a FOTW!!!

@shipshinablog Your art is absolutely delicious, I adore how you draw Heat and Wire they are just so beautiful I want to kiss them

@thamaris Another incredible artist!!! I adore your art, especially your gorgeous Wire he is yum

@a-killer-obsession Another one!!!!!!! Your art is adorable and your fics are just ough 5-star meals + fellow Killer enjoyer >:)

@nethhiri I adore your art/fics too ough I wanna devour it!!! (I'm repeating myself a lot but trust me I mean it! You're wonderful and very talented!!!)

@don-mellow Hehehe your art is scrumptious I love your big juicy muscular big titty men especially your Wire he is so fine

@magnuspirate I absolutely adore your art, your Heat is magnificent ty for showing him the love he deserves, plus your designs for the crew are so peak ough *eats* (ty for grey haired Wire I want to kiss him he's so pretty)

@toonsparks Your art is so fun and cute and ough I love it sm I need it more than oxygen bc its just so mmm it makes me joyous

@gratefulcheeses Your art makes me so feral, the way you draw my favourite beautiful boys is so ough delicious I will devour it

@moedesparta Another incredible artist, your art is so scrumptious I want it injected into my veins

@lfypj Your art is so fucking good oml I am in love with how you draw Kid and Killer they look so damn fine

@swampstew-stories (I cant tag your main lol-) I am feral for your writing ough it is just immaculate (personal shoutout to the Kid OnlyFans AU and Killer Tiktok AU they both give me life in very different ways)

@misaneeragoni FOTW!!! Your art is wonderful it makes me all giddy, also you are wonderful too!

Alright I think that's it.... unless I make a part 2 then it isn't- Either way, ty for sticking around if you got this far! You're a real trooper (insert name here.) Go follow the people above they're all wonderful and they deserve the world! All their art and fics and beautifulness has helped me at a time where I felt like the water in the Thames, this post doesn't even begin to describe how much I appreciate them and love what they do but I hope its at least something!

[meirimerens]

what are rubin's thoughts on daniil as his quasi brother-in-law? and what are your thoughts on older burakhovsky as a couple? i live for your verbal vignettes in ask responses, really feels like im there...

you are indeed here you are homonculus in my study from behind the glass of this bocal youre in you see me pace around talking to myself running my hand in my hair like a maniac until I suddenly walk to your shelf and lean over towards the bocal you're in like this

and force you to listen to me.

anyways as far as Rubins thought on Dankovsky Well he doesn't hate him as much as he's hated burakh in the past you know. even as the rubin burakh relationship has been/is more complicated than brotherly bond [I'd argue it barely is especially in p2, it's not about being a brother to him its about being him. A topic for another time] they've been very much Cain & Abel yeah. Like rubin has wanted to hit burakh over the head with a rock if that meant being favored by god I mean isidor. but dankovsky well. he has no animosity towards him, as a pseudo-in-law or as a guy in general. indeed they have mutual respect and indebtedness for The Plague Time and maybe rubin thinks dankovsky kinda has bad taste in men since he still has residual desire to hit burakh with a rock [not out of hatred or jealousy anymore, just to see what that'd be like], but like. <peterstakhblogreminder> rubin can talk. like he doesn't have the best taste in men either. </peterstakhblogreminder>. Rubin is doubly in dankovkys circle from him being 1) his pseudobrother's hubby 2) his own hubby's like. third side of the threefold coin or whatever. so they do run onto each other frequently. when dankovsky shoulders burakh at his medical practice rubin is also there. the healers and also rubin you know. he sees dankovsky be bad at cooking and burakh taking over the stove and is like damn maybe he's just some guy. there is the type of respectful distance you'd expect from in-laws except rubin has seen dankovsky get tipsy in Peter's attic and he called burakh to come pick up his man.

Re:older burakhovsky i got this thing and that thing unsure how much I'm repeating of them rn [can't open multiple tabs on mobile] but basically mellower right. still got some deep dark residual fears yeah I don't think that ever goes away. Holding onto each other at night sometimes. Chronic pains a lot of those. Grumpy together. Burakh busies himself making all sorts of teas balms cataplasms to help with dankovskys arthritis and back pain and strain and this and that and lather it on him. reciprocally from dankovskys part. Learns basic herbal medicine so he can be a bit independent in his medicating and also provide some to burakh. burakh doesn't retire for he is more than a doctor; dankovsky shoulders him. [NEW LORE UNLOCKED FROM P3Q] we've seen dankovsky likes Writing The Self [In] right... self-mythology self-biography [something other than autobiography] and the #realones know I've always believed he writes something once back from the plague well as he gets older he writes more obvious fiction. It might even start as tales burakh tells mishka to sleep. kind of Lewis Carollesque but a different guy. Gets burakh into beetle collecting and burakh gets him into herbaria. oh, all sorts of hand pains from writing/typing at thag typewrite/sewing & knitting for burakh... arthritis? possibly. they already have a Hand Thing for each other in their early days as they grow old it doesn't falter -> the analgesic cataplasms massaged on longly. At least one of them eventually needs glasses maybe both. Looking like alchemists. When the legs hurt the days are spent sitting (inside or outside), flipping through herbalism/botany/astronomy/anatomy books dankovsky has [once] brought back from the capital. with the big glasses on. You know?

[andorshitdaily]

it's that time again. Andor characters as shirts that go hard

bonus:

[crossbackpoke-check]

blessed be (lorscher bienensegen) | telling the bees (wiþ ymbe)

"Bees" [remixed, abridged], Claudia Emerson // "Letter to Someone Living Fifty Years from Now" [remixed. abridged], Matthew Olzmann // "Letter to my Great, Great Grandchild" [remixed, abridged], J.P. Grasser | Len Redkole, Nina Weiss, Brian Babineau, Christian Peterson, Mitchell Leff, Dave Isaac, Megan DeRuchie

[yaraanderson]

Something that really got to me about the Salt Lake Crew scenes so far is that they don't feel like friends. Yeah sure, they have some issues, mainly the Love Triangle Trio, but they are longtime friends. They are Loyal to each other above all else rn. They were in this decision to come after Joel together, even if Abby was the main motivator. Abby didn't convince them to help out of hierarchy or fear of her, but because they wanted to. Because they cared about her and what they all lost. She doesn't order them around as if they're subservient.

Without something similar to Owen and Abby's playful-then-difficult conversation, we don't get a feel for them as people. All the righteous justifications in the world mean nothing for swaying an audience if it's isolated; just words from a strange and hateful mouth.

[vimbry-moved]

jumping off the back of the post about genres of song lyrics, another thing about tmbg's lyrics in particular is that even when they write about pleasant themes, they still manage to frequently do so through a sinister lens:

the experience of having children and looking after them:

a nice little nightlight protecting a child muses on the shortcomings it would have outside its assigned responsibility:

fantasising about getting high in the park with your crush:

[boysareouttonight]

my barbie

[notonlymice]

rumbelle + rapunzel au moodboard (traditional version)

[twilight-good-yall-dumb]

y'all, it all really does come down to what you loved as a child, doesn't it? because tell me why I've done a full 360° back to my childhood fave 1D member. Like I am such a fucking Louis apologist now. He has infected me body and soul. Can't stop thinking about that little man :/

[sepiasys]

Idk if it's bc I'm like NOT suffering the horrors or if my state of being is why or whatever, but man. I've really been being a yapper, huh?

I say this in reference to my social life lmao

[quilleth]

the extreme level of 0 fucks to give i feel about work lately is kind of problematic. but also...i give 0 fucks about it. just absolutely 0 motivation beyond the most bare minimum i can get away with doing and that's not even really motivation. that's just "i need to not be a complete bump on a log or i will get fired and we literally cannot afford to live if i do not have a job and also i would lose my admittedly very good healthcare that is covering therapy and medications and testing for my adhd, insomnia, and chronic fatigue." but like i don't care about it. i'm back in the office full time (i work remote during breaks) and i'm dreading it

[wildflowercryptid]

i've already latched onto dogen as my resident blorbo kiddo in psychonauts so of course the gears in my head are already spinning for what i think he'd be like in his teen & adult years. i wanna see him happy and healthy and also get that pet his parents promised him.

[finniestoncrane]

running around in a circle tugging at my hair and holding back tears: too many things too many things too many things too many things too many thi

[softservesoymilk]

Also speaking of my son Dism scrolling through windows help forums is so fun because yay :) that's my son :)