#also if anything. chase isn't the house to foreman's cuddy

[the-faultofdaedalus]

Chase from House is so interesting to me, because like, reddit people did the math and even before he gets set up as House’s heir apparent starting in like season 6-7ish he was the underling with the most amount of independent and diagnoses in his original season 1-3 run. Like all this talk of Foreman being “just like House” and Chase was just…there? his character really hits on a rewatch because of how originally he’s kind of an after thought compared to Foreman and Cameron and you don’t really like him right away but by season 3 he’s starting to stand out as the best of the 3 until mama bird House shoved him out the nest. And so he’s so out of focus from the start he was clearly not supposed to be the next in line but he was (maybe accidentally?) always the most talented??

And like, how hilarious (and sad????) it is that he’s been unaware of how hot and desirable he is until after his divorce from a woman he had to (hah) chase for years. And even once she leaves him he’s all, actually it better that you never loved me therefore I didn’t do anything wrong like???? and he discovers his pretty privilege and tests it out by asking for people’s cars and they just give the keys to him??

And the mortician doctor being like, I hate you and Chase is like??? Because it turns out he’s jealous of Chase, who seems to have seen himself as a Ken but turns out to have been a Barbie the whole time: he’s the 2nd best diagnostician in like the world at this point, beautiful, and became the hospital’s best surgeon in only a few years (as stated by both House AND the mortician who hates him), he’s a triple specialist who always seems to have a skill they need because he keeps collecting them like hobbies (remember how he was trained as a neurosurgeon but just didn’t take the test? Remember how they were like, yeah Chase know how to do hypnosis whatever). And it all came so seeming easily to Chase and it made the mortician like, SO mad because Chase has no ambition and squanders like ALL of this for years

He’s all these random assortments of traits they kept throwing at him that make no sense but also all the sense? fuck he’s a mess. He’s the child of privilege! And his father abandoned him and his mom drank herself to death! He was parentified as a teen and tried to escape to seminary school! He got kicked out for sleeping with the grounds keeper’s wife! He only became a doctor because his mom locked him in his dad’s study and he’d read the medical texts once he got tired of crying! He surfed for 7 months until his boss got out of jail because 🤷 He killed a genocidal dictator! He’s weirdly fatphobic! He was in a BDSM relationship and was NOT a dom. He’s a genius but also very gullible and easily manipulated (the cancer patient that got a kiss) , but also very cany and can read people really well (he figured out House canceled Foreman’s interview) except when they have to do with him I guess? He’s a cringefail manwhore with no swag and so many bitches! He’s just some guy! Sometimes the way he reacts to something makes it clear he’s kind of a broken mess! But mostly he’s just some beautiful, beautiful guy!

And he’s just like, hangs around people long enough where they start to care about him wayyy more then they mean to. Cameron is an obvious example but by the end House is like, idk I guess your my son? after years of Chase being like, you are my new dad now and getting bullied for it (and he gets a sibling in 13 because she is also House’s kid). And Foreman was all, I don’t like or respect you as a person, and then becomes the Cuddy to Chase’s House by the end. He just orbits them until they are like fuck I guess you’re here to stay?

chase is SO funny because he's such a boring person when by all rights he should be one of the most interesting character of the show. like truly chase is a litmus test for how insane every character in house is because chase is boring but if you transplanted him to any other media he'd be one of the most complex characters just by virtue of existing.

anyways im. not really reading all this because its late and im tired and have spent Too Long staring at some brutal markdown formatting but. he truly is just some guy. he's just Here. fuckin vibing i guess.

he's the best when he actually grows a pair and starts standing up to authority figures. he's very good because you get both "clown on chase" moments, which are great, and also cheering when he like. punches out house. or murders the afformentioned dictator. fuckin incredible

[theogonize]

house md characters and my valentine's day headcanons <3

house is definitely going to pretend like he does not care for valentines and will go out of his way to act condescendingly about it. even though it genuinely does irk him to see corporates shove "love" themed merchandise down everyone's throats, he would make a sincere effort to get you flowers and something nice. he wouldnt buy you roses (unless it is your favourite, even then he would go out of his way to get them in a rare color) because he wants to be edgy but also thinks a flower you like/ represents you is a better gift. it's really sweet :')

wilson would be prepared in advance. he'd have a dinner reservations at a place you like, huge bouquet of roses on the dinner table first thing, even teddy bears. but in typical dad fashion will act like he forgot all about it when you mention it. "oh oh my god i have a surgery that day" just to see you pout and then surprise you. he's so stupidly cute (😭)

cuddy would defo go shopping with you if she got the time. she'd defo buy you clothes and shoes and everything you need to get dolled up for her. she wants to match outfits really bad. she'd get flowers delivered to your workplace with an elaborate card and everything. dinner at a nice cozy place followed by wine in the bathtub and head 🗣️

chase isn't too much of a bouquet kinda guy. he would much rather spend the day with you rather than do something too elaborate. of course he would buy you anything you ask but he prefers getting the princess treatment himself. he would be into a (disastrous) cooking date where all he does is nibble the ingredients in a corner and sing corny love songs in his heavy accent. he would be all over you physically tho <33

cameron has a binder. she's been planning valentine's day since february 15 of last year. she likes to try the cute things she sees on pinterest and then jot your response to them like you're a patient 😭 "patient tloml enjoys handmade treats and quality time" she's super into crafting/ handmade things (she's so cute)

foreman is a late night skyline view dinner and wine drunk sex kinda guy to me. he does it by the book most of the time. he really would appreciate you doing something for him but he doesn't have expectations from valentine's day. he's moreso obligated. I think he'd be more involved if it was a personal milestone day like anniversary or your birthday, then he'd go all outttt. but he makes sure you have a good time nonetheless. maybe would gift you some jewellery :>

[housemdork]

house md rewatch: 1x01, "pilot"

they were all so young! and so orange!

the top of my notes called this one the "smorgasbord of themes" because they had a lot of messaging to urgently shove inside a potential-laden first episode, but i think they captured all the major players: everybody lies, house as god, "you can't always get what you want," and the puzzle and/or/vs. the patient. rebecca adler, the patient, introduces lying in house md before house himself does when she tells her students that they should "never keep anything from [their] parents."

regarding house's characterization, he gets a little lost in the harsher genre-ification of this episode; while he's obviously, clearly the main character, he services the mystery, rather than the other way around. "pilot" doesn't just prop up the medical plot (remember those days?); it centers the episode's tone around an external, viewer-response medical anxiety. the episode ramps up the MRI noises, every choke and gag is exaggerated, and every shot leading us into melanie's insides is long and paired with dramatic orchestral music. given that day-one audiences didn't know whether the illusive dr. house was capable of solving the case just yet, the sympathy engendered for melanie is more powerful than most patient stories in the remainder of the show.

another notable difference regarding house's characterization is his immediate anger episode in cuddy's office when she revokes his 'authorization' (very vaguely termed lol). he immediately starts screaming and yelling - and she immediately condescends to him, which was familiar and funny - and it feels, to a retrospective viewer, very preemptive. as the show progresses, so do the lengths it takes to make house truly angry like that. i'm very glad they dialed that back so much.

# not my greg house ^

cameron, foreman, and chase had instant chemistry, and their teamwork when traching/venting rebecca does so much character work is such a short, tense amount of time. foreman is overly technical and fails to relate to the patient, while cameron levels with rebecca, and, later, chase treats rebecca carelessly, but is the one to effectively trach her in time. the most functionally dysfunctional polycule of all time, truly.

and they each come to embody their own mini house-complexes in "pilot," too! again, foreman is overly technical and slightly alienating; cameron, while abundantly kind, is overly obstinate in her convictions; chase is all about those last minute eureka moments that don't always make up for what goes on in the interim. overall, i would say chase is the most unassuming and underutilized character in the pilot.

transitioning to my favorite core theme - house as god and house md's treatment of faith. i've always been fascinated with the dichotomy house balances - or fails to balance - between loneliness and godhood, a title that his "followers" give him, but one that he clings to for legitimacy. he claims in "pilot" that "humanity is overrated," which is why he removes himself as much as possible from it. next to "everybody lies," this is the show's most consistent motif, and that it was made apparent so early is pretty awesome.

what was compelling about house/god/faith in "pilot" was the introduction of his favorite diagnostic method: treatment. treating the illness before we know what it is for certain. in a paradoxical move, house md demands we have faith in faith; house insists to cameron that he "has no reason to think that it's vasculitis, except that it could be." the episode gives us no recourse; we, along with the ducklings and company (don't worry, i haven't forgotten about wilson) have to go along with him. and the source of their belief and devotion, however reluctant, isn't even sure of his own reason, so he has to have faith in himself, despite being fully opposed to the idea of faith.

does that make any kind of sense? house is treated as god, needs that faith and adoration to validate himself, but also hates the very premise. this exact dilemma comes up in a later episode where wilson begs cuddy NOT to tell house that his diagnosis on a whim was a success in an attempt to deconstruct this problem.

now for some wilson thoughts :)

in "pilot," wilson is either giving uncanny valley, who-is-this-and-what-have-you-done-with-doctor-james-wilson, OR he's giving the most promising glimmers into the best the show has to offer over the next 8 years. one of the funniest parts of the episode is that he's treating rebecca at all because, 1) he's an ONCOLOGIST, and by the time they've figured out that it's not cancer, he's giving her another routine exam, and 2) if rebecca really was his cousin, he probably shouldn't be so involved in the case. not that PPTH cares about that sort of thing after awhile, but this is the pilot, after all.

it's very clear that the showrunners weren't sure what to make of him yet, which is so, so funny and actually gives rise to the show's most brilliant character (IN MY OPINION). thus far, he's personality-less apart from wry, quippy, yet soothingly suave. but his choices and scenes in "pilot" already are cutting through house's armor, and i can't decide how intentional or self-sabotaging this was.

for example, his scene with rebecca, demarcating the second act in the episode, undoes the character work we've accomplished with house so far. apparently, house does care about wilson by an external metric: rebecca's. care and love are not about someone's words but their actions, and wilson agrees that in that regard, house does care about him. the idea sets rebecca at ease about her elusive doctor, at least until she goes temporarily blind lol. yt by the end of the episode, "pilot" reassembles all of house's godhood, alienation, anti-humanity, etc., acting almost as if this conversation never even happened. it's really odd. i love it.

though i suppose it bears mentioning that it's wilson's white lie about rebecca being his cousin that pokes a lasting hole in house's rejection of humanity: "it got you to take the case."

and i can't forget house and wilson's inaugural conversation: "people don't want a sick doctor." "and I don't like healthy patients." who is the universal recipient and universal donor? who is house's keeper, responsible for his happiness? who has a problem with caring too much for a person and then resenting them? that's what i thought. hilson or not, their very first words capture their dynamic in literally 2 sentences. bound for life, wrapped up in the tragedy of house's internalized shame toward his disability, too.

speaking of hilson (season 8 spoilers below):

i don't know how to organize all of this effectively, but if the series finale wasn't planned, then they still wrote such a cohesive show that they could reference the fabric of their pilot episode and reflect it successfully in their parting message. one of the best ways we can measure house's growth is his treatment of rebecca adler's decision to die versus wilson's 8 seasons later.

house condescends to rebecca that everyone will die, that it's always ugly, and that "we can live with dignity. we can't die with it." this doesn't convince rebecca to accept more treatment, however, and house is forced to surrender. he's solved the case; the job is technically done. yet when wilson is undergoing Mega Chemo in 8x19, he begs house to help him keep his dignity by letting him die in house's apartment. house agrees.

in what i think is a direct parallel to wilson's cancer diagnosis, rebecca rejects further treatment because they have no proof in their latest diagnosis, a tapeworm. this reinforces the need to operate off of faith twice removed. in 8x20, meanwhile, the proof of wilson's cancer is what's killing house and demolishing the very premise of godhood as he's known it (i rambled about that here). in rebecca's case, absence requires faith; in wilson's, presence revokes that faith.

even foreman pleads for a real solution: "there's got to be something we can do. Better than watching her die." and wilson delivers the news about rebecca denying treatment: "she wants to go home to die." and, then, cameron with the steel chair: "because you respect her, you're going to let her die."

so, in total, i am super impressed with all that this episode manages to accomplish. it was way too orange, house was pretty one note as they were leaning extra hard into the sherlock side of things, and wilson is just kinda there??, yet it really is bursting with potential.

i didn't expect to write this much and have no idea if these posts will always be so long. i'll never get thru this if that's the case lol.

[ljblueteak]

Scattered thoughts about Chase and Wilson and how they seem to have this connection that isn't really explained in-universe. They're not really depicted as being especially close even on the level of people who are just work friends, but Wilson still goes to bat for/looks out for Chase and we're not really told why.

With the OG trio, Wilson's part of learning arcs for both Cameron (1x04) and Foreman (1x10). Chase? Not so much. In Kids (1x19), Wilson suggests that it would be kinder for House to fire Chase quickly rather than toy with him and believes that Chase "completely screwed [House] over" (also interesting that House supports Chase in that conversation and also backs Foreman when Wilson says Foreman "screwed us" in 3x21, Family, but that's another post).

Still, when House fires Chase in Human Error (3x24), Wilson is very much against it, both when he initially confronts House about it and also when he says, "Then you shouldn't have fired Chase" after House goes to him for help while Cameron and Foreman are busy. But he doesn't give a strong *reason* for why House shouldn't have fired Chase. Cuddy comes up with, "He's a good doctor," but Wilson doesn't add anything that's related to Chase's specific strengths or the role he serves for House even though he saw Chase put together the right answer in Airborne (3x18) when he was overseeing the team and heard about Chase's correct call in Finding Judas (3x09).

During Foreman's quitting arc, Wilson tells Foreman, "You know he wants you. You know he's good. You know he can make you good" (3x22) and tells Cuddy that House needs Foreman: "House has to realize he needs someone who stands up to him" (3x23). Wilson also later tells Thirteen that House needs her because, "He needs someone who doesn't need him. You're the only one he's never really been able to suck into his crazy House vortex. Keeps him grounded. His ego in check." Sure, he's coming up with something on the spot because Thirteen thinks he hacked her account and cancelled her ticket out of town, but just because he came up with it fast doesn't mean he doesn't mean it. He tells House, "She's good for you. You need her" (Instant Karma, 6x05). When Chase quits in 8x20, Post-Mortem, Wilson asks, "Why did you let him go?" but doesn't get into a conversation about *why* it's a big deal/why he's surprised House let him quit.

And yet. Wilson gives Chase a pep talk in Finding Judas and is willing to throw him a bachelor party in House Divided (5x22). After Cameron leaves, Wilson decides in Private Lives (6x15) that Chase should get back in the dating pool and invites him to speed dating (which is interesting because in the same episode, Chase seems surprised when Wilson joins him for lunch. If they're close enough for Wilson to know and care about how Chase is doing post-breakup and for him to ask Chase to speed dating, why is Chase surprised that Wilson would sit by him at lunch?).

When Chase goes to Wilson for a consult on a patient in 8x12, Chase, Wilson, though he's got to know that House has been trying to get Chase to talk to him, doesn't tell House about it. We don't get Wilson's take on Nobody's Fault, but Wilson not telling House about meeting with Chase and House turning to Park to find them instead of leaning on Wilson seems to suggest that Wilson agrees that Chase has a good reason to be angry at House after Nobody's Fault (and/or he cares enough about Chase's feelings here to respect them—and to respect them over what House wants—even if he doesn't agree with him).

It's just...interesting. A lot of it makes sense given where they need the story to go, though. Having Wilson give very convincing reasons for why it's a mistake for House to lose what Chase specifically brings to the table in Human Error maybe doesn't mesh so well with the "Chase is ready to move on even if he wouldn't have done it himself" message? And anyway, House knowing how good Chase is and looking to see if he'd come back in 4x02 and his genuine "Told you we needed you" in 4x12 does seem more powerful than it might have been if it looked like Wilson had had to draw his attention to it?

And in terms of Wilson being more involved with Cameron and Foreman, his strengths are more well suited to things they were dealing with in those episodes. Chase, for example, didn't need as much help with empathy or delivering news patients didn't want to hear. What he did need to work on more was standing his ground and not caring what House thought (though in early seasons, he actually did fight for his ideas more than he's usually given credit for), but that was something that was best hammered into him through experience with House—though Wilson's pep talk in Finding Judas did underscore the "Don't wait for House's approval" message.

It still leaves me with this sense of, "The show doesn't really suggest that Wilson and Chase are super close and there's no reason to think that they secretly are, but it also looks like there's more to the relationship than we see and Wilson will even side with Chase over House and also cares about Chase in a way that isn't related to House.'

[all-pacas]

OKAY. 13 AND CHASE IN AFTER HOURS THO

The fact that when 13 needs help, she calls Chase. Why does she call him? Why doesn't she call someone else? She needs someone to deliver her a portable ultrasound, and okay, you could argue Foreman is a bad call because he's her ex and would pry. That House would just refuse. Taub would have been a good pick tbh, he would drop it off and just go home no questions asked. But no, she calls Chase

(And I love that call. "You doing anything?" "Oh, yeah, I'm just about to go out," Chase lies blatantly, asleep in bed with a book on the crusades on his chest. Like the loser he is. I don't know that it was done well but I love how S7 examines his Dumb Whore tendencies: it isn't really him, it's a rebound. He does it again when he gets stabbed.)

And of course the second he shows up he immediately sees through 13's excuses and pushes his way into the apartment. Because we love Chase's observation skills triumphing over his laziness.

13 tells Chase the prison backstory. Like! It's kind of glossed over. She hasn't told this to anyone else. She doesn't hide it. I killed my brother. It wasn't murder. Chase is just pacing, you just know he's twigged as hell, he's so anxious all at once as she tries to brush past it. The idea that 13 kind of had to tell him to explain Darrien's presence but she's also — House is the only other person who knows.

CHASE: Have you talked to anybody about it? I mean, are you okay?

Like we know this immediately triggered something in Chase, but 13 doesn't, and seeing him so anxious and pacing and ignoring the bleeding dying woman as 13 works, it's just. Incredible. It's good. He cares immediately, he's relating to this immediately.

But I love seeing them work together. Like they just immediately go in sync, Chase offering suggestions and 13 doing the work. They're just. It's nice.

SIDE NOTE: House says he called everyone before he called Cuddy. We see him call 13 and Taub. Chase is off picking up drugs, we don't see House call him, but like. He had to have called Chase first, right? Did Chase not pick up? Did he blow him off because he already was dealing with someone bleeding to death in someone's apartment??

The way they fight oh my god. The way 13 just is trying to fucking murder Chase. She punches him, she claws and shoves him, and then he just clocks her and stares horrified as she falls to the floor. Like it's an actual fight, it's brutal, it's so good. They hurt one another. I can't explain it but I love how brutal it is, that they both walk away with bruises, that it isn't pretty. Incredible. Amazing scene.

CHASE: You were defending your friend beyond all rationality, granting her the right to die in your bedroom. Was it really all because of a promise? 13: That word means something to some people. CHASE: Not that much. […] CHASE: You promised your brother you'd euthanize him and you think you won't feel bad about it as long as you can blame it on the promise. That's why you have this twisted obligation to keep all promises… or your carefully constructed defense mechanism could crumble down. 13: I saved my brother from a lot of pain.

!! Chase keeps bringing it up, he keeps bringing up her brother, not out of I can't believe you did a murder or I can't believe you went to prison but: you must hate yourself. He's calling her out on her coping mechanisms, he's calling her out on her guilt, and it's so fucking clear what he means is I get it but he's not saying that part. 13 killed her brother and now has to believe she did the right thing, no matter what, no matter how she feels. She's taking away her own agency: it was for a promise, it was his decision, she had nothing to do with it, it's fine, it doesn't feel bad. Chase killed Dibala and told himself it was for the greater good, it was morally just, it was the right thing to do, it doesn't feel bad. And it nearly destroyed him. And so he's pushing and pushing at it. He never goes 13 went to prison! he never goes it's so crazy you did that! Whenever he brings it up it's only in the context of how worried he is about her. Has she spoken to someone? Is she coping? Is this healthy? Is she okay? He's so worried. He cares so much.

I adore 13 and Chase running out of ideas with Darrien and calling dad. Most sibling coded of all time. Just. And the fact that House doesn't allude to also being in the hospital, actively bleeding and in pain, just, yes, we gotta help bail you two idiots out. Beautiful moment.

Chase getting 13 ice and coffee and still feeling guilty for punching her out, and 13 not blaming him at all. Like. You know. Don't beat people up. But in this one case I totally approve. Because I love it.

13: Darrien had to shoot that kid. It was the right thing. Completely justified. But it didn't matter. She destroyed her life trying to forget. I'm afraid that's what's gonna happen to me. CHASE: You really should talk to someone. 13: I've talked to a therapist. It didn't help. CHASE: Well, maybe you should talk to someone who isn't a therapist. 13: Do you really think you have any idea what it's like to live with something like this? CHASE: Let's grab a coffee.

Since the second Chase found out, this is what it's been leading towards. I love that he doesn't answer, he doesn't say a thing, but this is what he's been thinking all episode, why he's been pushing, why he's been so worried and caring: talk to me. Tell me you're not okay. Tell me everything isn't fine. And 13 holds it back until the end of the case, until it's over and she has no distractions. It's not at all clear Chase himself has talked to someone about Dibala, btw. He probably hasn't.

And how insane is that. He never told Foreman or House; they figured it out. He told Cameron: she left him. (Imagine being 13, hearing this. Realizing the timeline. She went to their wedding. What did she think happened when Cameron just … left? How quickly does she figure it out now?) House told Chase to talk to someone, Chase tried Confessing, but whenever he's tried to tell anyone it's gone terribly for him. I don't think he has talked to anyone. But he repeats House's advice to 13: talk to someone. (Talk to me.) He's offering her what he never got. And their situations are different, hers is much more sympathetic and easy to accept than his. Chase never goes I never got help or you have nothing to feel bad about or implies he doesn't think it's a big deal: his entire reaction is just empathy. He wants 13 to get what he didn't get, he wants to help.

The song that plays over the end of the episode is Bon Iver's Flume. And as much as you can apply it to House, and Cuddy, and Wilson, and all of that — it's a song about feeling isolated, feeling alone and being afraid of letting go. Of holding on to things that stain and hurt. The lyrics that play while 13 and Chase are having their coffee in the conference room, though:

i wear my garment/so it shows now you know

And I just! I love! Them! The ways 13 and Chase are so alike and so damaged, the way Chase reacts with empathy and care and wants her to have what he didn't, the way they know one another's secrets and worst moments and rely on one another so easily. 13's secrecy is a meme, in and out of universe, but Chase is absolutely no better: he won't even admit he's Catholic when talking to a nun. They're private to faults, they mask by sleeping around and taking risks and pretending not to care, they hide their hurts and then somehow, they punch one another in the face and know everything. I'm just. I'm so obsessed with them. I want them like this always.

[kremblor]

So, I'm in s6 now in my House binge. And of course my brain last night wanted to focus once more on the polycule that is House-Wilson-Cuddy (but also Stacy because let's be real at one point she was part of it). Largely looking at these 4 because honestly they are fascinating. And I really love S6 visual of them because you can almost see how Stacy would fit into it all (but just can't anymore as well).

This is sober House after all. House seeking therapy. House who has hit "rock bottom" and began to dig himself back out (or more accurately drag himself back out). This is a House actively working to be himself while striving to let those be cares about not just hear he cares but see through actions and behaviors. (We see this especially with Cuddy here).

Now, the reason I don't really include Foreman, Cameron, Taub, Chase, or Thirteen is because his team has a different relationship with him. They are - in a sense - like a family for him but they are very much not as close. He isn't actively seeking to show them or tell them things (despite the changes we see). And they have an adamant refusal to see a change (we see it in multiple episodes in S6 as his team pulls a "he's House" lines just like past seasons - they do not have believe he can be anything but what they saw in the past. Reasonable as all they've ever known is addict House). I could dig into all this so much but onto the polycule....

What we know for these 4 is a very rough timeline. House meets Cuddy while still in school. After his first med school (s6 gives us the line about him getting the call for the first school issues he had). Both are students, we learn in s6 more on how they meet as well. The lines don't have the taunting/joking nature either usually have (or any of his close relations have) when discussing certain things. Thus, we can conclude the bookstore run is accurate. Here he tells her she was ambitious and a party girl. She seeks him out (going so far as to audit a class he's in) and they ended up booking up. However, House doesn't pursue her further as he got the call about John Hopkins and put school over relationships.

Wilson is meet during a medical convention, his first wife has sent him divorce papers. This convention is right after Wilson has graduated med school. House we know never meet Wilson's first wife - I stare this as the dating for some stuff is weird and thus figuring out this timing is also weird. We know Wilson brother also disappeared while he was in med school, something like 9 years or so before s1. S6 tells us it was House who brought up the opening at PPTH to Wilson as well. Anyways, this particular meeting between the two was basically:

House - playing music

Wilson - can you pick a different song

House - obnoxiously responds, continues to play song

Wilson- throws something, breaks mirror (expensive mirror)

Somehow a fight breaks out in bar/lounge they in

Wilson - arrested

House - you are the 1 interesting person of the 100s at this convention, I like you. I'm keeping you, oh also I resolved this legal thing with that whole broken mirror.

(Spoiler he did not)

Now, with Stacey, we don't really know if Stacey is before Wilson or right after, but we know she's like 10 years pre series. We get a few joking comments on how these two meet (dollar stripper joke, doctors vs lawyer game, etc) and the wikia goes with the doctor vs lawyer paintball game. For me, I think there was truth to the jokes but the taunting was just that. Taunting. The doctor vs lawyer was likely a truth, but the game type was likely a cover. If we look at his other two relationships, Stacey being at a doctor vs lawyer event or even saw an early lawyer House had to deal with in his career who manages to handle his antics (as Wilson and Cuddy did in their own ways) would result in him going "oh hey". It would also add to the whole not wanting her at PPTH - not only do they have a past and that history, she does truly know how to handle him and deny what he wants (he can't just brush over her legal concerns as he could others).

I like the idea of the 4 knowing each other pre-infarction personally. It makes sense to me. Cuddy seeking out House during her own med school years because "I have this theory for this assignment but want to run it by you" and he just jerks her around but she aces it (she is a Chief of Medicine within like what 8 years of graduating, if that? Like seriously pretty sure she is rather young for reaching that point, which says something). They all be the sort of long distant friends but not all meeting properly till PPTH or one off moments when so and so is visiting.

Besides, you are telling me Stacey marries House and they don't have at least a few friends? Please Wilson was his best man, who forced him to at least invite his mother, and Cuddy was there to ask Stacey if she really wanted this (she does, Cuddy doesn't blame her - Wilson reconfirms it and makes a "I guess he has some appeal to him" comment that has both woman glancing to each other ... should they all marry? Probably. Will they? No it's the 90s and the boys are repressed)

I had a whole point in this post and got sidetracked but anyways .... basically I think I was getting at the fact that like .... Wilson, Cuddy, and Stacey all took on a relationship with Gregory "the jerk" House. They knew who he was and did so not expecting change (I'm aware of what is about to come in the show and I'm already screaming). Part of what hurt them wasn't that he didn't change, didn't grow, didn't magically heal because they entered his life ..... but that he changed because the infraction got him into a drug addiction that sent him on a path they were not enough to stop.

They were not enough.

And now, S6, Wilson and Cuddy have sober House again. And not just sober for a day or however long an ep (or two) will take but truly sober House. And as before they turn to each other when they need it but at there for him. They are terrified of not being enough. They are terrified of actually putting themselves fully out there for him (Wilson though I don't think ever fully stopped - and this has as we know played a role in his divorces, Cuddy has also not likely but we see she has reached a point she can't risk it - she states it in this season as well, she's a mother now). And we see House show both of them differently - he's joking/taunting with Wilson (who returns) and he tries the things Wilson subtly suggests (even if he mocks it he truly tries - and likely stuck with some of it). With Cuddy, he talks and shares and puts himself out there (and he also stops when she asks - yes may take a time or two of asking but he ceases his behavior).

House is showing them growth, and healing. And it's terrifying, because if they accept it and he crashes... what does that mean about them now? How did they fail this time? What did they enable this time? How many times all these years have they wanted to contact Stacey and ask what she saw that they didn't, why she walked (cheated and left truly), didn't stay and enable him, when they did?

Just... I could go on and on about them but I've already rambled enough.

(Disclaimer I pulled some numbers/info from the House wikia)

[goatalicious]

Have been watching alot of House MD and thinking about Claymore (though that's a constant) and had the most absurd crossover dream in my life.

Teresa was House, Irene was Cuddy, Priscilla was Cameron, Noel was Chase, Sophia was Foreman, and Sid was Wilson.

It was kind of structured like the first part of an average House episode

Teresa (House) and Sid (Wilson) go to the cafeteria. And yes, Teresa does trick Sid into paying for her food. The only table with 2 chairs left has Prisilla (Cameron) and Olivia Wilde.

Sid(Wilson) tries to hit on the new doctor, Olivia Wilde. Teresa (House) tells Olivia not to do it because Sid (Wilson) is a married (to Galk) gay man and it would be homophobic of her to break up a gay married couple and they have just barely gotten the right to marry (I guess the time line is right after it got legalized?) Sid (Wilson) clarifies that he and Galk are bisexual swinger's.

Mind you all I haven't even gotten to her character but my friend who got me into House keeps telling me that I'm gonna love the crazy bitch Olivia Wilde plays. So she's there. Except Olivia decides she doesn't care about Sid and tries to hit on Teresa (House). She tries to hand Teresa her phone number written on a piece of paper but Teresa pretends to get a pager (making the beeping noises with her mouth)

In general Teresa made alot of homophobic (whilst being a lesbian) and sexist ( mostly against men) remarks the whole episode. I guess my brains equivalent to House being the way he is? Teresa says she already has to work with "a whole rotten fruit basket" and skedaddles to her office. By the way she does have a cane but not a limp? The cane is silver with a lion head as the handle.

Teresa heads back to her office which is the same as Houses but the walls were filled with swords and Renaissance paintings of women. Not nudes or anything but vaguely suggestive stuff.

Irene(Cuddy) shows up to her office and throws an apple at her, which Teresa catches. Irene remarks that having apples chucked at you isn't great, isn't it? So why did Teresa throw an apple at patient. Teresa says "you should be asking why the patient at the clinic didn't catch it." And start talking about the patients muscle weakness and lack of muscle control yadda yadda she made the right diagnosis

Olivia Wilde comes in and drops her phone number on Teresa desk and leaves without a word. Irene rolls her eyes and does various exasperated Cuddy motions.

Then Sophia (Foreman) and Noel (Chase). Yes Noel did have a strong Australian accent. Sophia puts a bunch of x rays up on the light box thing and asks Teresa to look. Teresa states she's on lunch. Irene and Noel start looking and are both shocked.

Teresa begrudgingly gets up and looks at the scans and is also shocked. "What kind of little kid ends up with THAT." Sophia states the patient is in a coma.

Irene asks about the parents and Noel says the child is a ward of the state whose parents were killed in a fire the other day, but the kid was found miles away.

It cuts to the patient who is young Clare in a hospital bed with social worker and police officer in the room. Teresa comes in herself and starts talking to Clare even though she's asleep. The cop and social work are weird out and Teresa sasses back that "sorry I'm just crazy, comes with the cane." I'd like to reiterate that Teresa does not at all walk with a limp just has a cool cane.

Irene and Priscilla are doing the lurking thing everyone always does to watch Teresa examine Clare. Irene let's Priscilla know that Teresa has a soft spot for kids, especially orphans.

Teresa starts examining Clare and asks the social worker about her medical history, specifically surgeries. The social workersays she doesn't have anything on record. Then the camera pans to show that Clares chest has fresh operations scars/staples and purple skin.

Then, of all things, the dreams cuts to a Domino's advertisement, which I wake up partway through.

[slothydaydreamer]

Forget about shipping people romantically for a moment, I'm dying over House asking CAMERON to go watch a monster truck show with him. The second person he asks when his bestie Wilson isn't available is Cameron. Not suck-up Chase, not his favourite bullying victim Foreman, not even Cuddy, no... Cameron.

(and yes, I am watching this show properly for the first time after years of secondhand consumption and watching every tiny clip YouTube throws at me)

Like, this doesn't have to mean anything, it's House, he wants to have someone go with him so he can rub it into Wilson's face later, but idk, the millisecond thought that he might allow Cameron to be his "friend for a night" kills me and fills me with glee. I want this man to want friends so bad. I want it to mean something. I want him to consider her friend potential.

Also him immediately backpedaling after she asks if it's a date. He wanted it to be platonic, he straight up forgot it could have another implication, and for me that's more tease-worthy than any other intentions he could have had

(I typed this mid episode with the intention to post here, but then I decided to keep going to see what else would happen)

It's adorable of her to try to sprinkle monster truck lingo into a conversation later

Of course Chase gets jealous and questions why he asked Cameron and not him. He wants to be a good boy so bad.

It makes me SO happy that the episode ends with the two of them actually going to the show together and having fun.

[balkanlila]

RE: CHASE: YOU GET IT!!!!!!!!! (i'm allowed to use multiple colons in one sentence english isnt real). i think actually that everyone else on the team is a scientist and then a doctor and chase is a doctor, if that makes sense

I think this is true even when you extend "everyone else" to Cuddy and Wilson because one part of Cuddy lives vicariously through House and Wilson isn't a scientist about oncology, I think he is also strictly a doctor in that regard, but he is a scientist when it comes to people in the same way that Cameron is. Terrible at relationships, but in tune with humanity as a whole. We are supposed to perceive Cameron and Wilson as the main caregivers, but I think Chase is more sensitive than either of them precisely because he doesn't waste energy caring about every single person that exists as though he was obligated to do that. When he cares he genuinely cares about the individual and when he doesn't, he doesn't really need to? As long as he's helping the patient, why would he need to be emotionally attached? Also with Cameron and Wilson I think they enjoy the security of knowing that their time with the patient is limited so they don't have to worry about getting bored of them or committing to anyone... Cameron married a man she knew was dying and Wilson loses most of his patients which isn't the point, the point is that he expects to lose them. Chase is the only one brave enough to dedicate himself to someone. (Kind of ironic considering how everybody views him as a manwhore??? The key to understanding House M.D. is literally the show's motto: EVERYBODY LIES!!!!! Even when they belive they're telling the truth. The character analysis is more telling of the person coming up with it than the person they're analysing. You can’t take anything at face value and that's soooo realistic to me.) Oh and it's significant that only Cameron and Foreman were busy writing articles and fighting about them. I think Chase even says that Cameron has always been more interested in diagnostics than he is in one episode.

[axl-ion]

The fandom I have seen experienced it the least in, but also because A) haven't seen the show in a while so my memory is foggy and B) I interact very surfacely with it, is House M.D.

Like, there's an influx of new fans, but I haven't seen completely wild mischarcterisations, like "House isn't an asshole or autistic, he's an uwu baby who's bullied by the evil Cuddy" or "Dr. Chase is a violent alcoholic" or anything akin to that. May be just because I am interacting with the surface fandom, but like... If you see a House M.D. meme it is usually show accurate. Everyone knows House is a jerkward, addict (and autistic), that he keeps hurting people etc. (Also this is just my opinion, but Foreman has the best character arch)

On the other hand we have the absolutely wild mischarcterisations of Emmet from Pokémon. Yes, some of the memes about Emmet killing Arceus were funny in 2022, but guess what? Humour is subjective and I was 16, so that may have been the only reason I found it funny.

Sometimes you like the fandom favorite and that's annoying because you have to see all the wild takes that do not interpret them the correct way. Other times, you like the fandom's least favorite and that's annoying because you still have to see all the wild takes that do not interpret them the correct way.

[housemdork]

house md rewatch: 2x06, "spin"

wilson is so "hate yourself" by tv girl here.

some freaking out about james wilson below. that's why this one is so long.

i think the overall theme of this episode is pleasantly cut-and-dry. to quote wilson: "you'd be surprised what you can live with." this applies to house, stacy, the patient (jeff the famous cyclist), wilson, and cameron. for expediency's sake, i'll run through that laundry list as orderly as possible...

house and jeff must live with their respective drugs and conditions. jeff dopes with blood transfusions to give himself an edge, and chase and foreman attempt to draw a false equivalency between this and house's vicodin. but, like in cameron's view, this doesn't work (at first). house's disability/condition predates his vicodin addiction, whereas jeff's doping came after (later found to be untrue.) i'm glad cameron disputed this comparison because it gets drawn a lot. house is coping, engendering some sympathy and understanding, while jeff is trying to get ahead. house feels subnormal; jeff wants to supersede "normal" altogether.

but it turns out that jeff's condition was being conveniently treated and hidden by his blood transfusions. so, in an odd twist, the parallel between him and house does stick. their respective addictions allow them to perform their jobs; their "normals" are different than most, and their substances help rectify that - if we don't factor in the collateral damage substance abuse incurs, of course.

but god is there tragedy in the ways this comparison still doesn't quite fit. the patient's blood transfusions are essentially a cure-all, and he can hide the secret benefits from the public. his muscles work like they're supposed to. house even administers the drug to relieve the symptoms in jeff's right leg - the same leg that vicodin can't fix in house's case.

the line from foreman to jeff is telling in this regard: "i doubt there's anything wrong with you that you didn't do yourself." in jeff's case, this isn't true, but it makes the endemic house question reemerge - how much of house's life is his own fault?

meanwhile, stacy and house must live with the tension that exists between them, though house cannot abide by this. house sabotages stacy and mark throughout the episode and reads way too much into stacy's resulting behavior, looking for confirmation that one of house's emotional extremes exists therein: love or hate. as we know too well, this annoyingly psychoanalytic tendency of his carries over tenfold to cuddy, but it's still super prescient here.

over the course of the episode, they enter each other's personal space in 2 polar opposite moods: fury and guilt. both instances highlight their dysfunction; they both impede on the other's ability to perform their jobs.

by the episode's end, stacy asserts to house that, despite her loving him, she also hates him, and they'll just have to live with that if they want to work together, and if she wants to hold onto mark.

predictably, as the titular, unstable character, house violates the established theme and refuses to live with this new arrangement. he exploits the condition (that he, notably, has no choice but to live with) to gain access to stacy's psychiatric records, and we all know how this plays out lol.

in an episode about worship of the imperfect (more on that later), it's powerful that house is kneeling at the filing cabinet that contains stacy's records. kneeling at what he cannot contend with; kneeling and searching for truth; kneeling and corrupting his promise to live and let live.

i'll mention here re: worship that house is flagrantly characterized as god/jesus in an episode where jeff is worshipped by adoring fans. even the way house "heals" jeff through the injection mimics jesus healing those unable to walk. time and time again, i love the house = god (except not quite) parallels.

cameron must live with the burden of her moral compass. cameron is repeatedly ridiculed (no surprise smh) for being so unyielding toward jeff when he admits to taking drugs as a cyclist. it sounds naive of her, but i think she makes a decent argument about the difference between lies for self betterment and lies for overall betterment. maybe that makes me naive and/or a narc, too. oh well. her almost choice to rat out jeff to the press is an interesting decision point for her, and says a lot about her character, forever contrasted with wilson.

she says that kids worship jeff, and that they can't/shouldn't love someone who is a fraud, and implies that jeff doesn't deserve their adoration. again, this seems naive, until she reaffirms house's earlier diagnosis of her behavior: she has his dad's "insane moral compass that won't let you lie to anybody about anything."

to wilson's cheating history, she raises the fact that she fell in love with her husband's best friend while her husband was ill. upsetting revelation, but we'd all be lying if we said it wasn't at least a little understandable. wilson, assuming that cameron is about to relate to him and his disaster of a love life, seems relieved by this, until she drops the bombshell that she never acted on those feelings; when wilson says "you can't control your emotions," she says, "just your actions."

in this moment, cameron (at least to me), fully confirms that she is not to be written off as naive. instead, 2x06 confirms that she has been painfully aware of her own emotional strife, self-inflicted because of her convictions, and forever burdened by her self-control. this is how cameron lives. wilson is surprised by what she can live with.

and that brings me to the man of the hour himself - wilson. i wanted to write about cameron first to emphasize how insane he is in this episode. wilson must live with the consequences of his own actions...after the episode confirms (via cameron) that those actions are entirely preventable, and that wilson has predicated his moral code on a faulty perception of love in the first place.

despite being on her ass about compromising her medical license in order to rat jeff out, wilson admits that he won't expose her (FOR THE TIME BEING LOL). this conversation reveals just how big of a ball of contradictions he is. cameron brings up the idea of kids worshipping jeff, a word that jeff himself defined earlier as "to love unquestioningly and uncritically," and wilson immediately takes issue.

"if love is based on lies, does that mean it's not a real feeling?...have you ever cheated? well, i have. you want to punish him? good for you. but you can't do it without hurting the people who love him."

damn, wilson. what a very harsh, shallow, and selfish way to go about life. no wonder why cameron takes a shot at you and your failed marriages: "is that how you justified lying to your wives?" oh, wait, you weren't finished?

"i always told them."

wilson is so persona-heavy that he can't even keep up the weight during a conversation that he started. this reopens the issue over love in 2x05 and reaffirms wilson's answer - can love exist without truth? not really. to cameron, wilson confirms that he's cheated, and that either he's lying about what love is, or stating that he's never loved his wives because he's been truthful with all of them.

and this conversation, this revelation, unnerves wilson so much that he does, in fact, rat cameron out. stacy just happens to not believe him. this is crazy petty of wilson (and not wholly in character, imo), which speaks to how much this false idea of love that he forces upon himself hurts him. this is how wilson lives. strung up by his obsession to remain morally upstanding, and failing himself every time because he's weak-willed (in this respect).

he makes a final attempt at absolving himself to cameron (and the audience tbh) when she confesses that she fell in love with her husband's best friend. he looks legitimately relieved when she admits to the first half:

this prompts him to make an insane admission of his own: "everything was fine. i met someone who *clears throat* made me feel...funny. good. and i didn't want to let that feeling go."*

then, riding the wave of having found a potential infidelity confidant, wilson assures cameron that, "what happened to you...how can anyone go through that alone? you can't control your emotions."

aaaaand cue cameron's fantastic retort.

i think wilson is profoundly affected by this realization that NO, there is no justifying your cheating, even at the metaphorical altar of house md's current leading moral compass. when he says that "you'd be surprised what you can live with," he sounds excessively bitter. for good measure, 2x06 hands us these visual parallels: cameron content at home, reliving memories, versus wilson, restless at the hospital...

i LOVE when these 2 interact. it never ever bodes well.

now for a major question i have, plus part of my wilson comphet thesis:

who the hell was he talking about to cameron there? (THANK YOU, LOVELY MOOT, FOR HELPING ME FIX THIS) he's talking about the time he cheated on bonnie. if he has had 3 wives, seasons 1 and 2 would have seen him with the mythical julie, who he's about to lose anyways.

i'm not arguing at all that wilson is talking about house here...mostly because i can't textually swing it. but, if you'll walk with me, i can explain further why this exchange is so crazy.

wilson admits, in a roundabout way, to not loving his wives. as we know, and will come to know more, he finds needy people, "fixes" them, resents them, and moves on. he needs to feel needed; it's not sustainable.

cameron has just described falling in love with a best friend who did not exist in her and her deceased husband's domestic sphere. they fell in love at the hospital. their bond, rendezvous, etc. was spatially founded there, already a future workplace for cameron.

wilson is thrilled to learn that someone as morally upstanding as cameron has Something Wrong With Her Love Life. in an episode underscored by diagnosing everyone's own Normal, for a moment, he thinks he's find a normal that's compatible with his own...until it's not. cameron doesn't actually have the same issue (for one thing, she's a better person than he is lol).

currently, wilson cannot exist peacefully within his own domestic space because his relationship with julie (most likely) is so bad. he's taking refuge in the hospital.

wilson is bitter, frustrated, and a little disgusted by his own admission of "you'd be surprised what you can live with." cameron has confirmed to wilson that he's in the wrong. that he's wrong.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY FUNNY. HOW WAS IT DIFFERENT.

WHY DID YOU HAVE TO GIVE UP THE FEELING.

WHY DO WE NEVER GET ANY FOLLOW UP ON THIS.

why is the chorus of the concluding song "none of us are free."

[cuntyqueerleondraisaitl]

Saw people talking about how Choreman is doomed to repeat the narrative, and that got me thinking about all their possible parallels to Hilson/Huddy, but also how they have all the potential to be MORE

One very notable thing that I catch myself thinking about a lot, is that neither character, at least when we left them in season eight, is a perfect parallel to House, Cuddy or Wilson. Instead its like you combined them all together, and then split them in half.

Like House, Chase is brilliant, sarcastic, has daddy issues and is extremely self destructive. He often doesn't think he deserves love and has a tendency to drag everyone he loves down with him. Like Cuddy, he often feels that he isn't good enough, and doesn't deserve to be in the position he's in. But like Wilson, he wants to do immense amounts of good in the world. The biggest example of this I can find is in the episode where Cuddy has to get some procedure done. Chase sits and stays with her, House ordered him to of course, but he joked around with her, and made her feel comfortable. He has an excellent bedside manner and you'd be lying if you said he didn't have "Kind eyes"

Like House, Foreman is snarky and rude, but he has two very specific people he seems to care about (House's are Wilson and sometimes Cuddy, and Foreman's are Thirteen and Chase) Like Cuddy, he immediately rises to positions of power. Cuddy was made hospital administrator in her early thirties, and Foreman rose to the occasion as soon as she left. As opposed to Chase who had a very fully fleshed-out storyline about how he was afraid to take positions of power and advance with his life and career. Like Wilson, he is the best friend who is always there. To those two people previously mentioned, he has always been there for them. Whether dealing with heavy emotional stuff (Chase getting stabbed, Thirteen's Huntingtons) or lighter stuff (the Chastity belt bet)

I definitely think that they have the potential to have a lot of Huddy parallels, but good Huddy. The very sweet parts of early season seven Huddy, before everything went south. They could calm each other down and just be outright super sweet to each other.

I think that the fact Chase is so scared of commitment could parallel nicely to the fact that House is an asshole with a negative EQ (affectionate). It really could be a huge difference because, yes Chase is scared, but he WANTS this. He wants to be happy. In opposition to Cuddy having to put up with House's jerkiness, Foreman could embrace Chase's nervous energy.

Both Chase and House are undeniably self-destructive, but one of the main Huddy/Choreman differences that I can think of is the way that their self-destruction manifests. Chase's main coping mechanism is, and I quote 'having meaningless sex with random strangers' something that would be avoided if he was in a committed relationship. Am I saying that that would immediately heal all of Chase's mental health issues? No. But It could help him.

On the Hilson side of things, there is so much potential there! Just imagine Chase having eureka moments when talking to Foreman, and them watching rugby or something together(I don't know anything about Australians don't sue me) Helping each other get ready for dates or just generally vibing.

Hilson is so similar to Huddy because both Wilson and Cuddy are enablers, but the fact that this would be both a Huddy AND Hilson parallel because Foreman would be enabling Chase in a legal way (as the hospital administrator) as well as in a social way (boyfriend and best friend)

Holy shit this got long, I guess what I'm trying to say is that I love them and they are forever doomed to repeat the narrative. In their very own, fucked up, gay-ass way

[all-pacas]

Hello!!! I saw a post recently about how people seem to take House's reading of people as gospel, and since I happened to be on a rewatch kick, I wanted to know what you thought of No Reason, specifically if that episode showed anything about how house's idea of the ducklings is different from how they actually are.

I've talked about this before and you're so right, because the characters actually act... I wouldn't say "out of character," but they're subtly off that entire episode. And we know it's on purpose, because House himself starts to realize it too. And it's sooooo fascinating.

Cameron is the easy one. House imagines her sleeping, unwashed, at his bedside for days. He imagines that they are awash in sexual tension, that they cannot even touch without a weighted pause; the entire thing with the robot is so, so deeply sexual it's almost uncomfortable to watch. He also imagines Cameron speaking his lines, the way he notices Chase doing later on. She actually does it first and he doesn't pick up on it at the time. // While Cameron is/was interested in House, by the end of S2? She's largely moved on. In fact, she never makes a move on him or shows any real romantic interest after their date; she spends S2 crushing on one guy and sleeping with another. But we also know from S5/House's subconscious as personified by Amber that House himself enjoys being/thinking of himself as the object of Cameron's affections; he likes thinking of himself as someone she is interested in. While she may or may not be (probably not at this point), House imagines her as much, much more in his thrall than she is. He also imagines her as more empathic then I think she realistically would be: we know Cameron can be pretty vicious when she feels wronged, or to her "enemies"; House imagines her as fussing over Moriarty in his bed. His idea of Cameron is hyper-caring and deeply in love with him.

Chase is kind of easy, too, because he's the first one House notices acting weird and saying his lines. Interestingly, Foreman never says House's lines for him: House imagines Chase and Cameron as extensions of his will in a way he doesn't imagine Foreman. But there's also a scene where House is meant to be doing PT and Chase is walking on a treadmill instead. He is literally part of House's will, to the point that he can act on House's behalf. // The thing is, while S2 is definitely Peak Lapdog Era for Chase, he's always been pretty likely to bite back and object to House when he feels strongly about something. House isn't entirely wrong to picture Chase as his loyal follower, but not to that extent, you know?

Foreman, fascinatingly, is pretty much identical to his real world self. So is Wilson, although House also imagines Wilson doing his PT for him as he did Chase. They both object, bring up reasonable concerns, do not speak House's lines for him. In a way, there's less to say about them, but at the same time I think it's pretty telling: they're the most "in character." House respects them enough, or knows them enough, that his subconscious doesn't need to fill in any blanks.

Cuddy is also pretty in character, but fascinatingly, like, incredibly interestingly: House has her more or less repeat her infarction storyline. She goes behind his back, suggests and carries out a risky/experimental treatment. He is furious; it works; she is unapologetic. They're replaying his leg with Cuddy in the role of both herself and Stacy -- unresolved issues much? -- only this time when House wakes up, he implicitly agrees that Cuddy is right and asks for ketamine.

[imzadi-caskett-huddy]

In My Veins (3/?)

House, M.D. Fanfic

Thanks to everyone for reading and for the notes left. I really do like reading your thoughts, so keep them coming. Also, those worried about House and Cuddy getting back together quickly, don't worry. It's not that simple, no matter what was in the last chapter and what you might think after this chapter. Also, fair disclaimer, I might have some details wrong as far as what happened at the end of the show... sorry, just go with it. And I know Cameron was gone... she's back because without Wilson, I needed a but of a sounding board. She won't be annoying, don't worry.

My song companion piece for this chapter is APOCALYPTIC by Halestorm. You can find it on Youtube. Great band, and it really inspired the ending. Also if I actually owned House and characters, I wouldn't have to write fanfic...I just would have made it all canon, so there's that.

A huge thank you to @love-hope-faith-feels-like-a-lie on Tumblr for helping to brainstorm a but and for reading all my stuff and helping edit and give feedback on what works and what doesn't. Enjoy!

xxxxx

"House isn't dead?"

Cuddy looked up from her desk to see Dr. Cameron entering her office with the memo she had sent out to everyone on the board about hiring House. "I know. I rehired him."

"No, I know. I just meant... you're not surprised? How long have you known?"

"Wilson told me at the funeral." She went back to her work then like it was no big deal. It really wasn't to her at this point.

Cameron was quiet for a moment, digesting all of this. "So you've known this whole time that he faked his death? Why didn't you say anything?"

"It wasn't my place."

"It wasn't your place to let everyone who was grieving know that he was alive?"

Cuddy had a 'seriously' look on her face when she glanced up from her file. It was House... the only two people legitimately grieving for him were Cuddy and Wilson. "No, it wasn't. I was no longer his boss. I was no longer his girlfriend."

"Why?"

Cuddy breathed deeply. "I was already gone. Wilson was dying. He wanted to be there for his best friend for once. I wasn't going to be the one who stood in his way."

Cameron was quiet again. "You're still in love with him."

Cuddy's eyes widened. "I am not...I'm the one who ended things. He drove a car through my house!"

"And you still love him," Cameron insisted.

"I left to get away from him."

"Leaving someone doesn't mean you stop loving them."

"Is that why you're back here working at the same hospital as Chase?" Cuddy deflected then.

Cameron was quiet for a moment. "Is that why you rehired him?" she countered with a pointed look.

Cuddy sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "I hired him to keep an eye on him. Wilson was all he had. I just want to make sure he's not going to self destruct more than normal."

Cameron just shook her head. She could see House entering the hospital through the glass door of Cuddy's office. "I hope you know what you're doing, otherwise the hospital is going to be ground zero when the time bomb goes off."

The two women exitted the office and walked out of the clinic just in time to hear House's declaration. "Ladies and gentlemen, I have cured death!" he started. "Elvis is back in the building. If you've got questions, direct them toward Dr. Cuddy," he pointed in the direction of her office in the clinic with his cane. He then started toward the elevator.

Cameron simply looked at Cuddy, as did the other staff in the lobby. "Yeah, this isn't going to blow up at all," she said sarcastically, walking away from the mess House had seemingly already made.

Cuddy closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "House, my office," she called before he could get too far.

He stopped and smiled slightly. "I knew it wouldn't be long before she just had to have me," he commented as he passed the nurse's station on the way into the clinic. "You bellowed?" He smirked as her office door closed.

She wasn't going to let him get to her. She wasn't going to bring up the kiss or anything about them. This was all going to be professional. "Maybe give the staff a few days to readjust to you before you start making bold declarations like you did this morning. Most of them are still shocked to see you alive."

"You mean you didn't post my picture all over the hospital and announce my out of retirement tour? Bummer," he commented.

She rolled her eyes. "The only people who got a memo was the board of directors. I have to notify them of any new doctor I hire in as a department head. Or in your case, a co-head."

He arched an eyebrow. "Co-head? I don't share my dictator power, you know that."

"Well you're going to have to learn. Dr. Chase took over diagnostic medicine when you left. He's done a good job, and I'm not going to demote him just because you've come back."

"Chase stole my department?"

"You left, House, that's not stealing. The hospital wasn't going to just keep the department around without an attending to run it. Chase was the most qualified. And he takes more than one case at a time," she countered, taking a seat behind her desk and crossing her arms. It was the safest place for her right then. It kept a barrier between them.

"You're really keeping him in charge of my department?"

"He's not in charge. You're both in charge. It's a good thing, House. It's going to let you ease back in. It gives you the puzzle you need. And Chase isn't Foreman... he's not going to butt heads with you or override you. I'm the only one who gets stuck in that particular level of hell."

He didn't like that arrangement, particularly, but she did have a point. Chase wasn't as bad as Foreman. He could usually manipulate Chase into getting what he wanted. "This isn't going to work," he said simply before leaving to begin the familiar walk back to his old office. He knew she wasn't going to give in, so he was stuck in the situation, at least for now.

When he stepped off the elevator, he walked down the familiar hallway. He passed by a familiar office and stopped long enough to give it a look, seeing the new name on the door. Taking a deep breath he continued on until he pushed open his old door with his cane and stepped inside.

"House..." Chase looked up from the file he was starting to review. "You're not dead."

He just gave the other man a look. "Clearly." He moved further into the office, going to the desk and dropping his bag, looking out the window toward the balcony that was on the back of what used to be Wilson's office. He breathed deeply again before grabbing his bag and turning to leave the office just as quickly as he'd come in.

"House!" Chase started.

"If you've got questions, call Cuddy," he called over his shoulder.

"We have a case!" Chase called from the open office door, only to see House continue walking. "House!"

House got on the elevator and went back to the main floor. He marched right back into Cuddy's office, past her objecting assistant. "I need a new office," he stated, leaning on his cane as he stood in front of her desk.

She took another moment before looking up from her file. "What's wrong with your old office?"

"Don't like it. Chase made it into a shrine for his ex-wife."

Cuddy just rolled her eyes and went back to her work. "You aren't getting a new office."

"I can't work in my old office. And while we're on the topic of needs...I need to hire a new team."

She looked up again and leaned back in her chair since he clearly was not going away. "You don't need to hire a team. The Diagnostics Department is already fully staffed with a team of excellent doctors."

"That's Team Chase. I need Team House. You have two department heads. We each get a team," he insisted.

She shook her head. "That's not how this works. You share the team that's there. It's not unreasonable. You personally only take one case at a time... I'm not hiring more doctors into that department for one extra case. I don't have the budget for that because I hired you."

"My salary is not equal to what it costs for my own team."

"No, your salary isn't. But when I hired you, I not only had to budget for your salary...I also had to budget for your lawsuits, the MRI machines you always seem to misuse and break, and all the other various incidental costs that come with employing an egomaniac like you," she pointed out. "Use the team. They're good."

He clenched his jaw for a moment before hitting his cane on the ground a few times. "Fine. I'll use Team Chase under protest. I still need a new office."

She shook her head. "There is no office available. Your office is fine. It's the biggest office outside of mine."

"Right... great idea. I'll just use your office until there is one available."

Her eyes widened and she pushed her chair back from her desk. "You will not!" She stood to face him.

"Then find me another office. Otherwise I'm moving in."

"I told you, there is no other office."

"Alright, Roomie," he said, moving to take a seat in one of her more comfortable chairs. "When my stethoscope is on the door, it means I've got a hooker in here."

She managed to contain her temper, instead moving back behind her desk. Maybe if she just ignored him, he'd realize he wasn't getting the attention he wanted and just go away.

xxxxx

House stood on her porch, beating on her door with his cane.

"Stop making so much noise. You're going to wake up Rachel," Cuddy said, pulling her robe tighter around herself as she opened the door.

"Not my problem. I wouldn't be here banging on the door if her mother weren't such a controlling idiot," he pushed past her.

"Right. Why don't you come in. We can talk about how I'm the idiot," she shook her head as she closed the door. She had expected to butt heads with him again, had even expected him to show up at her house to argue his point. But she hadn't expected it so soon. He hadn't even been back a whole week yet. She also wasn't sure what, if anything exactly, had set him off.

"You said I could have a team."

She just looked at him for a moment. Really? This was what he was so upset about? "I already told you. You do have a team. Chase and the three fellows that make up the diagnostics department."

"And I already told you. That's Chase's team. I want my team."

She gave a soft laugh. "There are four doctors...five, counting yourself, that make up the diagnostic department. Six if you count bugging Cameron in the ER with your theories. Seven if you count me vetoing your crazy theories and unnecessary procedures. That's more than enough to bounce theories around and handle your single patient of the week. I'm not letting you hire anyone else."

"First of all, you're not a real doctor, so you don't count," he started in on her. "Cameron isn't nearly as helpful now as she was when she worked for me. And Chase's team is too busy dealing with Chase's patients to be worried about my patient. I want my own team," he insisted angrily.

"No," she crossed her arms. "There are three doctors you can use to your heart's content. One patient a week does not justify me adding another team to your department."

He rolled his eyes. "You're an idiot!"

"You already said that," she pointed out.

"You're a horrible doctor. And you're cheap. You being a cheap idiot is what killed my patient!"

Ah... so that's what this was about. His patient had died. "You want to blame me because you didn't figure out the diagnosis," she stated.

"I'm blaming you because you're too cheap and too stubborn to let me have my own team. If I had my own team, they would have focused on my one patient instead of my one patient and Chase's three! My patient died because I don't have a team that is focused. We missed something because the team had to split their focus! They had to split their focus because you have some ridiculous urge to try to control me! This is on you!"

She gave a laugh. "Really? I think you've more than proven over the years that I have no control over you. You're uncontrollable," she countered. "Even when we were together you made it clear that I never controlled you."

He clenched his jaw and turned a bit more to really square off with her. She wasn't pissed off enough yet... he'd poke a different spot, push a different button. "That's what this little power play is really about. Me. You're still hot for me. And it drives you crazy."

She arched an eyebrow. "What are you even talking about?"

"You're pissed at me over everything that happened with us. This is your way of getting back at me for the way things ended."

"Don't go there," she warned lowly. That was a very dangerous hole to go down.

That's exactly where he wanted to go. He'd found the exact button to push and now he wasn't going to stop. This was the reaction he'd wanted. "Our entire relationship, you constantly said you never wanted me to change who I was. You knew how screwed up I was. You acknowledged it. I think it even got you off. You said you never wanted me to change. But in the end it did matter. Turns out that you really did want me to change after all. You probably thought you were such a great catch that you could make me change."

"I didn't break up with you because you didn't change. And for the record, I never asked you to."

"No, it was because one time when I thought you were dying, I slipped up. I thought I was losing the woman I loved, and I took a pill to numb everything for a few hours because I didn't know how to deal with that kind of pain."

"House, stop," she swallowed hard. She could feel her temper flaring with every word.

"I made one mistake. One. And the almighty, perfect Dr. Cuddy just couldn't be with anyone who isn't as perfect as she is! Only aside from your ass, there's not a perfect bone in your body."

"One mistake?! You think you only made one mistake our entire relationship? I never said I was perfect, but you...you lied to me. Multiple times. You weren't there when I needed you. You never showed up when I needed you... it was only when it was convenient for you and your damn ego! When I was sick you brought your whole team to try to diagnose me!"

"Because I was trying to save you!"

"You don't get to run around playing God! You can't decide who lives and dies, House! You can't save everyone! I didn't want House the doctor, I wanted House the man I loved!"

"This isn't about money or even you being stubborn. This is about you and me. This is about you being so angry at yourself that despite everything I've done, everything that happened, you can't help but still want me. You're still attracted to me, and you hate it,  hate yourself. So you're blaming me... taking it out on me with the one thing that you can control. My work," he growled angrily.

"If that were true, why the hell would I have rehired you?!"

"Because you want to fuck with me... in both senses of the word!" He yelled at her. "It's not my fault you can't control yourself around me. It's not my fault you still want me and what only I can do for you. It's not my fault..."

She interrupted him with a hot, angry kiss. It was searing and fierce, biting his lower lip roughly. When they both pulled away a moment later, they just stared at each other... really, more of a glare. They were both angry...at each other, at the situation, at the truth. They both were upset. That was it... the gasoline had been poured on and this was the final spark that caused the explosion.

Her hands fisted in his shirt pulling him against her as her lips crashed hard into his. His cane dropped as his hands yanked her robe open and began roaming possessively. There was nothing tender or gentle in the way he touched her... nor in the way she touched him. This was raw, unbridled passion and lust... tension that had been building between them probably since things ended if they were being brutally honest with themselves.

Her robe finally fell from her shoulders and her back hit the wall hard. His fingers were rough on her skin, grabbing her body in ways she knew would leave bruises, but she couldn't bring herself to care... leaving her own marks on his body from her mouth and nails.

She didn't even care about his shirt, going straight for his belt and jeans. They weren't going to make it to her bedroom. Even if this weren't such an urgent need for both of them, she wasn't ready to invite him back into her bed. So she shoved him down on the couch, yanking his pants over his hips in the process. She moved to straddle him, teeth moving over the skin of his neck until they sunk into his pulse point hard, eliciting a deep groan from his chest.

His fingers dug into her hips hard enough to leave fingerprint bruises, and his eyes were dark as they met hers. He quickly pushed her to her back underneath him on the couch, unwilling to give her the control he knew she wanted. His mouth ravaged every inch of available skin, biting and sucking, leaving marks everywhere that would serve as a reminder of him. At the same time his hands moved underneath her nightgown groping possessively, pulling her close and making sure he reminded her that no one else knew her body the way he did.

She gave him a few minutes to think he was in control, but there was no way she was letting him keep it. Her hands groped his shirt and pulled it over his head, tossing it somewhere to the side. Before he could realize it, she gave a shove to flip him to his back, which sent them both falling off the couch. He landed on the floor with a thud and a grunt, and she landed on top of him triumphantly. Her thighs straddled his, and she pinned his wrists to the floor on either side of his head, refusing to let him touch her for the moment. Her mouth ran along his throat, teeth grazing the skin as she dropped her hips.

xxxxx

By the time they were done, they were both still laying on the floor where they'd landed when they rolled off the couch, only he was now on top of her. His shirt was on her coffee table, his pants still around his ankles. They both had red marks on their bodies that would most likely turn into bruises, bite marks in various places, and she'd left rather nasty scratches down his back with her nails that had broken skin.

Neither said a word. Neither even moved until soft footsteps were heard in the hall. "Mommy?"

Shit. Rachel was awake and apparently out of bed. She gave House a shove so she could slip out from underneath him. "Go back to bed, Sweetie. I'll be there in a minute, okay?" She called to her daughter, hoping her voice still sounded normal. She waited until she heard the footsteps fade back down the hallway before getting up, still without a word to him. She straightened her nightgown and picked up her robe as she disappeared to take care of her daughter.

House laid on his back, staring up at her ceiling for a few moments before finally sitting up and redressing. Pushing himself up, he limped over to where his cane had landed and picked it up before silently letting himself out of her house. He stood on her porch for a few moments, trying to process his conflicting thoughts and feelings before shaking his head and starting toward his bike. He couldn't let this happen again. He knew he'd never be what she needed. He wasn't the right guy for a single mom. And he knew that she knew that. So he wasn't going to torture himself with the rejection that would inevitably come.

[housemdork]

house md rewatch: 2x08, "the mistake"

catholic chase isn't just a character feature anymore - it's its own major subplot.

2x08 is so solid all around. the format is unique, in the vein of "three stories," and it says even more about chase and house's relationship than we've seen so far, in my opinion. their respective portrayals of one another show the complexities, toxicity, and underlying love (yes, i think that's here) between them. i'm going to forgo a lot of plot-specific comments because i REALLY want to capitalize on a certain analogy that i think is the most compelling bit of the episode (grad school close-reading brain Activated).

first and foremost, chase is being catholic again. how saint jude, patron saint of lost causes of him. i'll be showing my hand as someone who was raised Catholic Lite (my family has never been super religious); i know a lot of the sacramental lingo, too, because i just got through teaching at a catholic university!

catholics have a sacrament called "reconciliation," or a kid's first confessional to a priest - i did mine when i was 8. returning to confession is typical practice in the religion because there are always things for which to ask forgiveness. it's a very private affair (whatever is said is supposed to be utterly confidential) and supposed to be organic, but stacy's practice reconciliation with chase is anything but.

much like a kid (maybe a catholic kid, around age 8?) would rehearse lies to their parents, stacy coaches chase in preparation for his disciplinary hearing. he's repeatedly reprimanded for adding sincerity and self-flagellation where it would weaken his case, and in the same breath chastised for being a shitty liar. the whole "first reconciliation" affair is highly ritualistic; you have to memorize the act of contrition, introduce yourself to the priest in a very precise way, and it's very intimdating as a kid.

even visually, this shot is organized like a confessional booth - which are intimidating in their own right. the doors divide priest (stacy) and sinner (chase) from one another, with the subtle space in between the go-between through which chase confesses. there's even a lectern-equivalent over chase's shoulder.

also interesting to note (not just in this analogy) is that stacy isn't wearing the crucifix that mark gave her.

as the tale that chase spins for stacy unravels, we see that chase became increasingly desperate and self-serving (in character of him from the vogler arc). at the near climax, he reveals to cameron and foreman that he plans on assisting the patient, kayla, and her brother, sam, in securing her a black market liver. this is, clearly, insane, despite chase's insistence that house would do something similar. foreman reiterates the underlying problem chase is experiencing: "this isn't gonna be your salvation."

this is becoming increasingly apparent to chase, especially as, in real time, the number of people ushering him along this sacramental journey is expanding - stacy, cuddy, and house are all involved in the interrogation now. he can't find a pragmatic way out of this predicament, just like he can't keep dancing around his fundamental (catholic) guilt over his error eventually killing kayla.

the next version of events he tells is the martyr's version. in chase's last-ditch fiction, he describes how he marched into kayla's hospital room to stop her from pursuing the black market organ, even as sam protests against it. he undoes an earlier mote of selfishness - telling a superfluous story about his tonsils to comfort patient hospital anxiety - by sharing about his deceased father (a new revelation to the audience!). it's this faux honesty, this nobility, that chase wants as his final testimony. noble, guilty, sacrificing, all in one.

yet the final version, the one nearest the truth, concealing everything but chase's reason for lying, is the most pitiful one yet: after kayla has died, chase confesses his error to same, who lashes out. chase bears the brunt of guilt; he feels he's been adequately punished...

so why does he keep looking at house at every turn?

chase wants to fall on his noble sword and get things over with - he says as much to stacy when he has the option of pushing the hearing date up. however, at every junction, he's downplayed the role house had in diagnosing and treating the patient. he's also afraid of house hearing all this self-sacrificing farce because he knows that he won't buy it. in this moment, stacy has lost her position as allegorical priest; house now embodies the role, sans the privacy of the confessional booth and the screen.

and, like clockwork, house clocks chase's real goal here: absolution. he wants to get through this pseudo-catholic-sacrament as intact as possible without showing any real vulnerability. when house takes chase aside, he says that, "you want him [sam] to sue you." oh, the catholic suffering of it all.

house does away with the ceremony and ritual of the confession. he confesses (!!!) to chase that he figured his father had passed away, and that rowan asked him to keep it to himself. this obviously pains chase, but, since it's house, and since no one can convince me that house isn't mean to be chase's Not Dad, he looks to him instead for a way forward. he's confessed; what should he do now?

nope - house only outlines his 2 options (tell the whole truth, or keep lying) and pledges that he won't say anything. the decision is entirely up to chase. this is a pretty non-deific (or not CATHOLIC, i should say) moment for house, refusing to intervene when a situation sorta calls for it. he's neither benevolent nor malicious, and we've seen him be both. maybe that's why he pays for his lack of a decision when the diagnostics department enters The Foreman Era.

so, in conclusion, this episode was an exercise in chase's catholicism, namely the sacrament called reconciliation/confession, that house subverts by not being the deific, unmerciful god who chase has come to expect in his life.

meanwhile, in wilson land:

hands not quite folded in prayer, divided by the walls of a non-confessional? discussing illicit sexual affairs? drawing admissions from house about his illicit affair? their dumb little game being vaguely penetrative? house's ball(s) being in wilson's metaphorical court? who's to say. i'm just a grad student.

[drop-dead-dropout]

ok I don't hate her I just find myself getting frustrated with her often, which I know is kinda the point cause she's always trying to prevent the story from moving forward. my "dislike" order is basically this (keep in mind I'm only on s2):

1) chase. not cause he's like problematic or something, he's just a real dick sometimes, barely advocates for his patients, and also has both 0 loyalty and 0 spine. you need at least one of those dude. it was funny when they revealed that he's been to a bdsm sex dungeon though

2) cuddy. it is Very Annoying when she is the only thing preventing the plot from moving, that's not her fault though and also I'm still getting used to this episode format so I imagine it'll stop bothering me entirely. sorry mother xx

3) foreman/cameron. this seems to be more situational but man these guys have got to stop judging their own patients so harshly. usually they end up getting proven wrong by the end of the episode and they display a suitable amount of shame/remorse when that happens so that's something at least

-1000000) wilson my baby boy. you have never done anything wrong ever. you're trying so hard you're the goodest boy in an ocean of people who suck. please never change

house isn't on the list because he's simultaneously my favorite and least favorite character

whoever did this I hope your day was amazing