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roger-that-cap · 3 years ago

Text

wildest dreams

witch!wanda x reincarnated!reader

summary: wanda had walked around the earth for centuries with no magic and hardly any soul left after losing her soulmate. she thought that her lover would never return and that the only reunion they would have would be in the afterlife, but a run-in with bucky changes everything after he insists that he met the long gone y/n at a fountain in the park.

yet another au by me...

word count: around 6.5k?

imma tag one person bc she gets upset when she isn’t tagged- and idk if anyone else would actually be interested?

@teenwonder

also this picture is not mine, and the dividers are by @firefly-graphics !!

without further ado, it’s almost 6 in the morning but i give you this!!

She held you tight, fingers digging into your skin as she trembled above you. The rose bushes were rustling in the wind next to you both, the sweet smell of the flowers contrasting with the moment. You were halfway gone already, eyes far off but trying to swim back to the surface, wanting to look at her one last time before the inevitable happened.

“S…” you tried to say, but she hushed you immediately, tears falling down on your face and mixing with your own. You shook her head at her as hard as you could, begging for her to let you continue. “Say you’ll remember me,” you ground out, fingers tightening around her hand.

“What?” Wanda asked, voice already thick with grief as she tried to decide whether or not it was better to keep the knife lodged between your ribs inside of you.

“When I come back-” you cut yourself off by coughing up blood, and Wanda didn’t even wince when it splattered on her cheek. “Back for you, promise that you’ll remember me.”

“Darling,” Wanda whispered back, her voice cracking as she bent over and rested her head on your stomach for a moment, hiding her sob. She could feel her magic tingling inside of her; under her skin, in her bones, dancing on her fingertips. “I wish I knew- I wish I just knew how-”

“Please.” You said, a desperate look in your eyes as you halted her words, already knowing what Wanda wanted. But natural magic was nothing to mess with. She sobbed again with her lips pressed together, no sound escaping her. You squeezed her hand tighter as the sun started on its routine descent, basking the two of you in an orange glow that you would have stopped to admire in any other moment in time. But Wanda would grow to hate that shade of orange with every breath in her. “Please.” It would always remind her of the sound of your begging, voice reaching for something that she couldn’t see.

Maybe it was the desperation in your voice, or the way that she just knew that you were well within your last moments, because she looked up at you one last time. “Of course I’ll remember you, darling. I couldn’t even dream of forgetting you.” There was a wheezing sound that came from your chest as you cracked a bloody smile, and then you gave one last squeeze before you looked away from her, your soul settling in the afterlife.

Wanda Maximoff would never forget it. Suddenly, her previously irrational fear of losing her magic became real, but that feeling didn’t even come close to the one she got when you grew lifeless in her arms.

Ever since you knew what a normal person was supposed to be like, you had identified that you, in fact, were not the normal person that you were probably supposed to be. Normal people didn’t daydream to the point where it felt like their bodies weren’t in the present anymore. Normal people didn’t have birthmarks under their ribs that aced and burned. Normal people didn’t feel out of touch with their world, like they weren’t even meant to be in the century they were in. Normal people didn’t feel like they were searching for something tirelessly, something just under their noses. And normal people surely didn’t dream of the same set of hands, same pair of eyes, or the same voice over and over again, a new setting every time, but always the same, faceless person. You either drew the same faceless person or rose bushes, and every sketch book you ever had was full of them.

At first, you were sure that you were going insane. Every time you closed your eyes, you would see a flash of reddish brown hair, or the same set of eyes, or the same pair of pale hands. You kept seeing this person without ever seeing a face for nights at a time before you went to see a therapist, who just ended up telling you that worrying about it was only going to make it worse, whatever it even was. But eventually, you learned to get used to it.

Acceptance turned into expectancy. You went to sleep knowing that there was going to be a pair of hands accompanied by the same slender fingers as always before you, sometimes intertwined with your own. You knew that there was going to be a set of eyes on you, watching you intently with no ace to go with them. You knew that you would hear whispers of the same voice, speaking so clearly in a language you didn’t even come close to understanding, and soon, you were craving to see and hear those things. And wanting to see them led to something that you never told your therapist; drawings.

You drew nearly every day under the sky, trying to find different park benches to see the sun rise and set at different angles for inspiration. You loved the sky, moon and stars alike, but there was something special about sunrises and sunsets. Sunrises and sets both meant new beginnings to you, out with the old and in with the new, and each rise and fall filled you with a strange feeling of nostalgia. You were watching the sunset on a park bench by yourself, a sketchbook sitting on your lap as you held an idle pencil, still thinking about the way you wanted to draw the hands. The birthmark between your ribs started to tingle, letting you know that it was about to burn again. That damn birthmark. You dropped the pencil and scratched at it, trying to beat the annoying feeling at its own game. You cursed the mark, but your eyes didn’t leave the sky, and you noticed your heart swelling in your chest, faint despair in the pits of it, churning around like the middle of the deep sea.

You shook your head and put your pencil in your hand again, brain not even having to work hard at all to see the features of the faceless person who was in your every dream.

Even before she ever met you, Wanda didn’t sleep well. She would toss and turn for at least an hour before she finally found some temporary, flimsy form of peace. Her sleep was always light and she hardly ever had dreams, which was customary for a woman like her at the time- an un-blossomed witch.

It was hard for her to remember the time where she didn’t have magic, but that time certainly existed. It lasted nearly thirty years. She never aged a day past twenty one, time moving past her without a care in the world. She was stuck right there, no magic except for the little bit in her bones that was keeping her young. And then she met you.

You were the person that kicked her magic into gear. You were her kindred soul, her other half and the power to her magic. Meeting you had flung her right into the world of magic and spells, things that she only watched others do, but even as she was introduced to an entirely different world, she could remember only really wanting you. Her heart and soul called to you far louder and stronger than spells called to her eager mind. When she met you, it all fell into place. It was an easy love, one that was never going to be disputed or questioned, and loved it. She was prepared to move heaven, earth, and the gods for you, if she had to. Your arrival into her life had caused her to finally blossom.

But now, she had bloomed and flourished and wilted all the same, and she was just waiting to decompose.

“Have hope,” was all that Bucky, a warlock who had been tortured enough in his own way, would tell her. “Have hope that something good will come to you, and it will.”

She never had the heart to tell him that good things hardly came to those who waited. He himself was a product of waiting, and it had served him well. Before he met his other half, he was taken by a rival clan and experimented on with spells that were so far past illegal that they made the casual witch shudder. Eventually, he was broken out and the rival clan was defeated, but he returned to them as an empty shell of a man. But then, Steve came, and then the man was nothing but a ball of light. His magic grew to be strong and so did Steve’s, and together they became known as some of the strongest practitioners of magic in the world.

But what did Wanda have to hope for when you were gone? What did she have to wake up for and smile at when she knew that she had buried you hundreds of years ago? It wasn’t even about the magic. She couldn’t care less about the way she felt the energy leave her- and it was dramatic- leaving in a singular burst of light the second you left. She only knew that you were gone, and that was the only thing that mattered, and it seemed to be the only thing that she even really felt.

Well, she did feel one other thing. Exhaustion. Exhaustion caused by the lack of you by her side. And exhaustion was exactly why she assumed that she was hallucinating when she felt a small tug at her heart, in a part of her brain that had been dormant for years and years. She shook her head and tried to take her thoughts away from you and the nagging feeling in her gut.

“Oh, no…” you exclaimed, voice tapering out into a whine as you watched the ruined paper sink deeper and deeper into the fountain, a fist clenching at your side in disappointment when you realized how many hours were lost, just like that, and then even tighter when you realized that part of you wasn’t even truly upset about the time spent on the ruined art. You were mostly upset that you lost the only vision of the hands that you had during the daytime.

You were on your knees, sleeves still all the way down as you reached into the water frantically, causing the paper to move even further away. You weren’t even worried about your sketchbook that had fallen open onto the pavement, more focused on the rapidly deteriorating piece of paper. You hardly even noticed the man who knocked into you talking, trying his hardest to make the situation better. “Oh, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, is there anything I can do?”

“I mean,” you breathed out, taking the nearly disintegrated paper from the water and grimacing. When you realized that the man was fumbling to say something from behind you, celery apprehensive over the fact that you were upset, you took a short breath and turned around, giving him a small smile. He had dark brown hair that was cut short and crystal blue eyes that were striking, but you knew that they held thousands of stories by looking just once. He was holding your sketchbook, and by the way he was gripping it tightly, you could tell that he had flipped through it for a second. “It’s just a drawing. I guess I can make another one.”

His eyes widened. You saw his jaw slacken and his neck stretch out, as if he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. He blinked three times, and his parted lips trembled for a second before he slammed them shut. You cocked a brow at him, your sadness about losing the drawing being replaced by a weak feeling of uneasiness. “Sir?”

“Knew it.” His face was clear from any type of emotion as he watched yours, and when you opened your mouth to ask him if he was okay, a grin spread across his face. “I’m Bucky, what’s your name?” You furrowed your brows at him, asking what the hell had just occurred without saying a single word. “I’m sorry, you just looked really familiar.”

Just like that, you smiled. You knew that feeling, you felt like you got deja vu far too often to be normal. You hated when people made you feel strange for it, you always had, so you tried your best to ignore it with him. “You’re fine, don’t worry. I’m Y/N.” You extended your dry hand for him to shake it. He stared at it for a moment, and then with an eagerness that made you smile, he shook your hand.

“‘I’m Bucky.”

For a moment, you could have sworn that you had done more tha just seen him before. Could have sworn that you had shaken his hand, met him before, been at the receiving end of his blinding yet somewhat shy smile. It flashed through you warm and bright, and you cleared your throat before pulling your hand away and realizing you had held it for too long. You cleared it again when you saw something flash in his eyes, a weak smile lifting on your lips.

“It’s not her.”

Wanda was furious. She was insulted more than anything, really, angry that Bucky could even mistake the light of you for someone else. She knew that you would never grace the earth with your presence again, and she was so used to the fact that she was going to have to die before seeing you again. And for one of her closest friends to try to convince her that you were back?

“She would have already found me.” And Wanda believed that with her whole heart. You had asked her so long ago that you remember her, like she could ever forget. Your scent was so flowery that whenever she walked past a growing garden that she smelled you, your smile was so bright that she saw it in the way the rays of sun came down on the earth. She heard your laugh in the chirping of the birds every morning, and she saw your playfulness in the running waters of the stream by the cabin. She could never forget you, because everything was traced back to you. And you would never return without finding her.

“I don’t think she even knows it yet, but she is looking for you.” Bucky insisted, stepping forward and receiving Wanda’s burning glare while Steve stepped to the side and let it happen. “I bumped into her and she dropped her sketchbook. I saw her drawings- she drew your eyes.”

Wanda’s heart skipped a beat. “What?”

“She dropped the drawing of hands in the water, but I saw she had drawn eyes that looked just like yours, hair the same shade as yours, even drawn the necklace you used to wear. She draws roses, too. I swear to everything above, it’s her.”

She could feel herself getting warm, the sort of emotions stirring inside of her that had the potential to turn into a singular weapon. The thought of a rose bush made her sick to her stomach. “It’s not her.”

“You forget that I knew her, too,” Bucky stated, and Wanda’s desolation was replaced by some ancient feeling of possessiveness. “I could never forget her face, and that was it right there. That was her face, without a shadow of a doubt, And her voice-”

Wanda’s face curled into a snarl. “Stop talking about her.”

“Hey, Wanda, take a deep breath,” Steve cut in, ever the mediator, but Bucky was hardheaded. If he thought something needed to happen, he was the one to push for it to happen, and he needed her to see.

“She looks the same as she did the day she left.” Wanda let out a choked noise. For a second, all she could picture was her lover dying by the blooming rose bushes in the sunset, ruining two of the most beautiful things in life at once. The third (but first) was you, but not even your horrible death could taint Wanda’s memory of you. You would forever be the brightest and most beautiful thing to grace the earth. “I got her number, we’re meeting at a coffee shop a few blocks away.”

“Leave her alone.” Wanda said through gritted teeth, tears welling up in her eyes. When she saw the brunet’s eyes widen and his mouth drop open, she spoke before he could get a word in. “Just stay away from her, Bucky.”

All she could think about was your death. The way you choked on your own blood. The way you cried and looked up at her, but still managed to smile. And as she was consumed by rage and memories, the only other thought in her mind was that she was yours and you were here, and that she couldn’t save you then. But she was surely going to preserve your memory from Bucky’s mouth.

“I know you feel it coming back. You haven’t felt it in so long, but it’s warm, right? It’s powerful. You always were the strongest, and you’re not dormant any longer. Stop lying to yourself and depriving yourself of love, Wanda. You know Y/N-”

She saw red. Red as red as the fires that burned in the magma underneath the ground, as red as embers in a fire. “You don’t get to say her name.” She saw so much red, so much hot anger that hardly covered her sadness, that she didn’t even see the way that she had her hand out red coming from her palm as she lifted Bucky right off of the wooden floor of their shared home. “You don’t get to talk about her.” There was a warbling noise in her ears, whispers that sounded like her name, getting louder and louder until she finally realized it was Steve trying to get her attention.

“Wanda.”

Instantly, she dropped her arm and watched Bucky fall to the ground, landing in a crouched position. She watched him catch his breath on the ground. She opened her mouth to apologize, to say that she felt terrible and that she had no idea what happened, what took over her, but she was stopped by the brilliant smile that came onto Bucky’s face.

“You used magic.” He said, slowly and steadily, not a hint of hesitance or animosity in his eyes or voice. Instead, he seemed more proud than anything. “You can’t deny this now, Wanda.”

She was hyperventilating, the pain in her chest intensifying as she tried without any results to get the right amount of air in her lungs. She felt her knees hit the ground before she knew that she did, her hands covering her face as she sobbed into herself. Her heart ached, tugging in so many different directions as her brain fought to rationalize what everything meant. She had used magic, and that meant that you were back, in one way or another. She was in disbelief. She was in despair. She was in shock.

“I know you do, I know you do,” It was Steve’s arms around her, and Steve’s voice in her ear, and she realized that she had been saying I miss her, I miss her, over and over again until the words jumbled. “We know you do, Wanda. We miss her too.”

But he didn’t understand. He hadn’t lost Bucky since he had found him. He hadn’t walked the earth for centuries after losing the only thing that mattered to him as an empty shell of the person he used to be. He would never understand, but that wasn’t his fault. In fact, she prayed that he would never understand.

“I’m sorry I approached you like that,” Bucky said, crouching down and hugging her just as Steve was, enclosing her into a hugging circle. They were coven, related by magic, and just being around them made her tears subside. “But you know that I would have never said anything like that unless I was one thousand percent sure. I would never do anything to hurt you, Wanda. All I want is for you to be happy. And I know that I found her.”

And how could he want anything but the best for her? He knew her just as much as Steve did. Just as much as she probably knew herself. He and Steve were the ones who stormed the coven that took you from her by her side, and they were the ones that helped her send them to their graves. They supported her through thick and thin, through revenge and peace, and mostly, they loved you almost as much as she did. Why would Bucky lie?

Wanda blinked, staring down at her hands in fear and wonder as her heart beat started to get away from her. Steve’s warm hand landed on her shoulder, and she flinched from the sudden touch after such a rush of power.

“I think you should go with him, Wanda.” Her heavy breathing was all that filled the air for a moment. “Just take a look at her from outside so you can leave if he was wrong without anyone knowing, but you should at least try. I think Buck’s right.”

Wanda’s breaths were still labored. Her hands trembled as she moved hair from her eyes, and her lip quivered before she found the strength to mutter a few words. “Will she- will she remember?”

“I think she will,” Steve said softly. “But she’s probably just a human. It may take more than just seeing you for her to remember everything.”

Her eyes were wet with tears, and her heart was so big with warmth and need that she was scared that it would burst open at the seams. But she was even more terrified to lose the idea of you. Slowly and shakily, she nodded, her head bobbing up and down as she sealed her own fate. “I’ll go.” She saw Steve give her his fatherly and supportive smile, small yet full. “I’ll see her.”

You didn’t know how you were gently swindled into giving Bucky your number. You knew that it was nothing but friendly, but he was so charming that you felt like you could never not know him. In fact, it felt like you already did know him. He said something about maybe commissioning an artwork of yours, and of course that excited you. You were going to meet him at a coffee shop, in a public place even though you weren’t the slightest bit afraid of him. But something felt different.

It started once you got into your car. You were driving to get to the shop when tingles came down your spine, and bumps raised on your arms, like someone was whispering against your skin. You started to feel warmth come and go in waves, brushing against your mind and then retreating again. You shook off all of the strong feelings as you turned your car off, parked in front of the coffee shop while the music from your speakers filled the silence, soft piano music that was perfect for the weather.

It was drizzling, the kind of weather that you liked to call a “lover’s drizzle” because of how often it was seen in romantic scenes. Scenes of confession, of reunion, of desperation between two lovers- more often than not, they had the mild rain to stand in. You turned the music down before shutting your car off and then stepping out, closing the door and locking it immediately before walking briskly to the entrance of the coffee shop with your recent drawings in hand.

Bucky wasn’t there when you arrived. In fact, hardly anyone was there besides the few employees, who smiled at you when you entered but otherwise fell back into conversation amongst themselves, which was fine with you. There was one beefy blonde man who was sitting with a laptop and a ball cap on. He glanced up for a moment and then took a double take, blinking hard at you with a star struck look on his face, and then he shot his gaze back down and went back to typing.

You sat down at a table for two, the only type of table that was there besides the long, awkward study tables that they had set up in the center of the room. You would much rather take the intimate setting of a two-seater than to sit in the middle of the shop, so you did just that. You flipped through your work, looking at it closely now that you had the time. He had mentioned something about possible portrait work for a friend of his, so you naturally brought most of the drawings that you had done with hands, arms, eyes, hair, nearly everything that was the closest to your heart. You rested your palm on top of them and watched your fingers trace the slender ones that you had drawn in what felt like by memory at the time, like you were just remembering the way an old friend’s hands used to look. You peeled that one back and looked into the eyes, the strangest and prettiest light green color that made your heart pound every time you looked at it. You took a deep breath in.

“That’s gorgeous.” You jumped in your seat as the chair in front of you pulled out from under the table, and there was the charming brunet that you had met by the fountain, giving you the same welcoming smile that he first granted you. You smiled back without hesitation, your heart warming at the sight. “You sure can draw.”

“I try,” you joked, your grin nearly splitting your face. “Do you drink coffee?”

“Nah,” he said, shrugging his shoulders. “But I like tea, though.” You gave him a thoughtful look.

“Are you into herbal healing?”

You could have sworn that there was some sort of excitement in his eyes, but you weren’t sure enough by the time he opened his mouth again. “Yes, actually! What, does it look like I’m into it?”

“No,” you answered, and it was true. Bucky was huge. He had the kind of build that intimidated other guys at the gym, the kind that made athletes jealous. He looked like the typical meathead, but he was sweeter than you could have imagined. But he looked nothing like a man who would be into herbal healing. “Just a guess.”

“Pretty good guess,” he mused, and you grinned back. Your head was in the clouds of some strange deja vu when he asked you if you wanted something, and the entire exchange of whether or not you were going to pay was on the back burner as you sifted through your thoughts. By the time he came back, you noticed that you must have told him that you liked hot chocolate, and that he must have paid. You scolded him before he sat back down, waving you off. It was silent for a few moments as you looked out of the window, the rain still steadily working through the atmosphere. The cup was comfortingly warm.

“Can I ask you something?”

With any other man, you would have immediately told him no, or at least have your guard up. But there was just something deep down, so buried that it was faint, but it was there, that told you that he was nowhere even close to being a threat. “Yes.”

He nodded, taking a sip of his tea and then putting his cup down gently before giving you an intense look. “Who’s the girl?”

You frowned. “What girl?”

He raised a singular brow. “The one you draw.”

Your breath hitched in your throat. You blinked twice, and then tilted your head to the side. “I don’t draw just one person,” you said slowly, the lie dragging its way out of your mouth and through your teeth. “They’re different people.”

“Oh,” he said, but the smirk on his face told you that he knew you were lying to him and to yourself. You sipped your drink and something tugged at you, telling you to look out of the window and into the rain again, just one more time before you spilled your guts about seeing things- and then something caught your eye. A flash of a familiar reddish-brown. You turned your full body to look that way, and once you did, you nearly dropped your cup.

There was a woman staring back at you, eyes wide and full of so much emotion that the artist in you wanted to rush to make an unworthy attempt at capturing it. Her lips were parted in pure shock, but you were watching them tremble even from far away. She was getting slightly damp in the rain, but she stood there like it didn’t even matter, just locking eyes with you and sending your heart rate through the roof. When your eyes finally came back to hers after looking at her for what felt like the quickest eternity, you gasped. You knew those eyes.

If you weren’t so deep into gazing at the woman stuck behind the glass, you would have noticed the pleased and content look on Bucky’s face, and the look that he gave the big blond sitting with a ball cap on all by himself. You would have noticed the way that the blond man was turning his body towards your table, watching with the same amount of anticipation as Bucky was. You tried to understand why she looked so familiar, why she was scratching the part of your brain that always tried to convince you that you were much older than twenty something- and then it hit you.

You had been drawing this woman. And you had been thinking about her ever since you knew how to think. It was just the first time you were ever seeing the full picture. “I-” you muttered, eyes stuck on her and the way she looked like she was about to topple over from emotions. The words got stuck in your own throat as you weakly tried to get your mind to take you back to the conversation. “I- excuse me. I have to- I’ll be back- excuse me.” Your chair made a loud noise as you stood from the table in a haste, pushing the door open and walking towards the woman who was still standing on the sidewalk, dumbstruck.

Before you even knew you were outside and into the rain, you were standing not even four steps away from the woman, who was now looking at you with an incomprehensible look on her face. You couldn’t even feel the rain on you. All you could feel was her gaze and the warmth that was settling in your stomach and chest, and the same intense familiarity that was hitting you when you looked at Bucky. But it was so much stronger.

“I-” you frowned, taking a step closer and resisting the urge to reach out and touch her. “Do I know you? Have we met?” You had to have met. You had seen her in your sleep, in your daydreams, in your sketchbook. And still, you never could have imagined how beautiful she was.

She was silent.

“I know this is random and that I just bum rushed you, but, did we go to school together or something?” You were embarrassed. You had never begged someone to remember you before, but this woman was different. She hadn’t said a word to you, and you didn’t even know her name, but you were enraptured. You swore you knew her. You swore you saw her eyes glaze over for a second.

“You really don’t remember, do you?” Her voice struck something familiar in your chest, something warm and comforting. It was so familiar, so far back in your memory that it felt like home. Her accent, her inflection, the way she spoke slowly yet deliberately. It was all there in your mind, but you just couldn’t figure out how you knew it so well. “You don’t remember who I am?”

That had you closing your mouth. You tilted your head to the side at what could have been a hostile question, but her tone made it sad. Did you forget a high school friend? “Oh, um, I know you from somewhere, but I can’t really-”

“Think.” The desperation in her voice made your knees shake. If she were anyone else, you would have told her to go away, but you couldn’t. You didn’t want her to go away. But you couldn’t quite place her either, even though your own heart was screaming at you to remember.

“I’m sorry,” you said, a hurt expression on your face. You braved yourself to leave, taking a deep breath and giving her a weak smile that embarrassed you even further. “This was weird of me. I’ll just-”

She was reaching for you. Time started to run slower as her pale arm extended towards you, long fingers that you had committed to memory and to paper a thousand times outstretched. Your mouth dropped open ever so slightly as you stood in place for a second, body still until you subconsciously leaned forward, your nerves buzzing under your skin.

For a second, the only thing you could do was look at the point where her skin touched yours.

You had seen magic before. You had seen it in movies and at theme parks and when miracles happened, but nothing ever like when her skin touched yours. You swore that the warmth that your body had been feeling kicked in even stronger, surrounding you in comfort. Her hand was wrapped around your arm, gentle yet begging, firm yet wishing all the same for something you couldn’t quite see yet. You looked up and into her eyes, the eyes you had drawn and seen so many times, and then you saw it.

You saw it in more than flashes. They were coming in at the speed of light, but somehow you were able to catch every moment and every feeling that came along. You heard her voice as clear as day, ringing with laughter. You saw the two of you attempting to skip stones. You saw her enchanting your stones behind your back to make you think you had actually done it. You saw her mouth brushing over your cheeks, your mouth, your forehead. You could feel her hands on you, holding you, protecting you, cherishing you all the same. You could remember the way that you felt when you saw her standing in traditional witch’s clothing, being inducted into her coven as a blossomed witch. You saw everything and nothing, and you remembered it all.

Wanda.

A strangled sound escaped your body, so feral that it scared you, but you didn’t care. You pulled her forward, your head clashing against her chest. You could feel her shaking, like she wanted nothing more than to hold you just as tightly, but she was hesitating. “Wanda,” you called out, hugging her tighter, and then, like something in the universe stretched too far and then snapped right back into place, she was returning the embrace.

“I thought I had lost you forever,” she said, her voice hollow yet so full, so expressive. “I lost you, darling.”

The memories were all there, like all it took was a touch, but you were still coping with the knowledge. You had been murdered. Murdered by witch hunters, way back when witches were known and feared. That had to have been hundreds of years ago, you knew it. But still, your focus was on Wanda. It always would be on Wanda, forever and always. Just like hers was on you.

“You didn’t,” you managed to say, your own voice thick with emotion as you buried your face into her neck, finally feeling the texture of the hair that you tried so hard to get right. “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere ever again.”

“I’m sorry,” she said, suddenly sobbing in your arms. You had no idea how you weren’t being interrupted in the crowded streets, but when you took a look back inside of the cafe to see the men who you so clearly remembered as Steve and Bucky, you knew it had something to do with them and their fulfilled smiles. “I wasn’t able to save you. I let you die, and I’m so sorry, darling. I’m so sorry.”

Her words brought you back to the present. “Wanda, no. No, no, no.” You wanted to pull away and look at her face, but the second you started to, she held onto you even tighter. You leaned your head back onto her chest. “It wasn’t your fault. There was no way any of us could have known, and no way that you could have saved me. It was beyond us.”

“Nothing should have ever been beyond us.” She argued softly. “I’m so sorry.”

“But it was,” you said. “And now it’s behind us. Don’t apologize, Wanda.” You wiggled around and got free enough to look up at her teary face. “I may not have recognized you, but now that I do, I can’t believe that I ever forgot you.”

“A new life will do that to you.”

“Is it really a new life if I remember everything?” You said softly, the rain long gone as you stood with each other, bodies nearly molded together with how close you were.

She pulled away to look down at you, her eyes and overall expression tense, and then there was a look that you recognized from a long time ago. It was a look of sweet desire. You closed the cap between the two of you, pressing your lips to hers in a way that proved that you were both two lost souls who had wandered their way back to their other halves.

“It can be whatever you want it to be, darling.” Her lips brushed your again, soft and tender and eager for more touch. “As long as you let me be in it.”

#wanda x fem!reader #wanda maximoff x female reader #my fics #witch!wanda #marvel au #witch!au #scarlet witch #wanda x reader #wanda maximoff #no idea what to tag this-#wanda x you #lgbt marvel #lgbt

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makeste · 4 years ago

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some follow-up thoughts on BnHA 285

1. “at that moment...”

you guys. I still can’t get over this. just -- guys. this is Kacchan telling the story.

he’s not the first character to narrate, mind you. characters like Twice, Tomura, Ochako, and Kirishima have all narrated in the past. but it’s always been past-tense narration of their own flashbacks, or else present-tense narration explaining their thoughts (e.g. Twice in chapter 115). Kacchan himself has done present-tense POV narration before. but this isn’t that. this is past-tense narration of an event that’s happening now. this is the future Kacchan narrating the present day Kacchan’s story.

has any other character done that, aside from Deku himself?? am I just crazy overreacting here, lol. idk but either way it’s cool.

2. “...there were no thoughts in my head.”

there was a post yesterday talking about Kacchan’s big moment at the end of this chapter being a little disappointing because of it being an automatic “my body moved on its own” save on Kacchan’s part. the argument was basically that it made the moment less meaningful because of it being a subconscious thing rather than a conscious decision on Katsuki’s part.

but I disagree! for me the “my body moved on its own” is actually way more impactful. and rather than describing it as “subconscious”, I think the word that fits better in this case is instinct. first of all, even though he says there were no thoughts in his head, we know that’s not exactly true, as we can see for ourselves the images that were flashing through his mind. I’m just gonna list them out:

“I’ll even surpass All Might and become the best hero out there.”

“why was it me who put an end to All Might?”

“I made a pledge! I will achieve absolute victory, every time! we’re taking this 4-0, no casualties! the strong don’t settle for anything less!”

“I’m not gonna lose... I can’t afford to stay a loser!”

“you... you looked like you needed saving.”

thoughts about what it means to be a hero. what it used to mean to him, and what it means to him now. thoughts about rescuing others. about saving to win. thoughts about his failures. thoughts about him and Deku. and last but certainly not least, vivid memories of a moment when he needed someone to save him, and Deku was there.

he has these thoughts, but he’s not aware of himself having them. it happens too fast for him to be able to process. but all the same, his body isn’t just moving here of its own accord. it’s simply that in this instance, it’s not thought that’s driving him, but emotion. at the risk of sounding INCREDIBLY CORNY, it’s not his head that makes the decision, but his heart.

and that’s why it’s so meaningful to me. in this moment, it’s not conscious thought that’s driving him, but emotion, instinct, will. he sees the attack, sees that it will hit Deku, and he just reacts. something at the core of him screams that he can’t let it happen, and he just moves. and to me that’s even more powerful than him consciously doing the math and making the sacrifice play (though I’m not saying I wouldn’t have enjoyed that as well). specifically because it’s a moment where he doesn’t have a chance to think or analyze or panic or doubt. it’s a moment that shows us who he is when you strip all that away from him. he doesn’t have time to get in his own head; he doesn’t have time to feel any fear; he doesn’t have time to think about himself at all. he takes himself out of the equation. he sees that Deku needs saving. and the rest is pure instinct. it’s the most heroic he has ever been.

3. “even if One for All is a cursed power... at the same time, it’s...”

I was wondering what was up with this part, lol. Caleb’s translation makes it much clearer; to Katsuki, OFA is both a blessing and a curse right now. the “cursed” part is becoming more and more obvious with each new chapter. it’s putting Deku in danger; it’s made him a target; it’s destroying his body; and there are other, darker and more dangerous factors also at play that Katsuki doesn’t even know about but fears nonetheless. I honestly feel like he’s been anxious about all of this ever since he learned Deku and All Might’s secret. it’s been on the back of his mind for months now.

but at the same time, OFA is what brought him and Deku back together. sorry, am I getting cheesy again lol. BUT IT’S TRUE THOUGH. All Might’s quirk gave Deku the chance to compete with Katsuki on equal footing for the first time. it forced Katsuki to acknowledge him. and both he and Deku have grown so much on so many levels over the course of this past year, and all of it stems back to Deku receiving this quirk.

and just... fucking look at these flashbacks, though.

unless I’m reading this completely wrong, the gist of this scene is that Katsuki is grateful for OFA because it’s what lifted Deku up and allowed him to try and achieve his dream. the scenes of Katsuki bullying Deku and burning his notebook are contrasted with the scenes of Deku standing up to him and vowing that he won’t be his punching bag anymore. Deku before OFA, contrasted with Deku after. I get the sense that Katsuki feels a lot of gratitude for fate stepping in and working to undo his mistakes before he himself could finally get his act together and start atoning for them as well.

and then that last page is really interesting, because it’s like the “blessing” and “curse” parts of OFA all together in a single image. Deku is going all out against Tomura, giving everything he has, ready to sacrifice himself if that’s what it takes. there’s so much strength there (even though he looks completely insane lmao), but at the same time it’s literally killing him. mixed feelings, for sure.

4. “Katsuki Bakugou: Rising”

last but not least! so there’s quite a bit of discussion going on about what exactly a “rising” chapter actually consists of, lol. Momo is the only other character who’s had one before (at least if you don’t count the movies, and the movie spin-offs). so it’s hard to say for sure with such a small sample size, but if I had to guess, I’d say the “rising” chapters are about characters coming into their own as heroes. Momo’s chapter was all about her letting go of her insecurities and starting to believe in herself. and this chapter was all about Katsuki letting go of both his fear and his pride, and just getting the job done.

in the span of a single chapter, he lets go of every single thing that’s ever held him back. I felt like we really got a glimpse of the hero he can -- and hopefully will, if future!Kacchan the Narrator is anything to go by -- become. he was amazing. he took charge; he came up with a plan that absolutely would have worked if Tomura wasn’t LITERALLY FUCKING UNKILLABLE LULZ; and when that failed, he didn’t hesitate to make the sacrifice play. Bakugou fucking Katsuki, He of Zero Rescue Points, made the fucking sacrifice play. do you even know how much I love that you guys. I love it so, so much.

but of course, when you make the sacrifice play it tends to have the not-so-surprising side effect of getting you ALL FUCKED UP afterwards. so perhaps a less ideal outcome than he would have hoped. but he still did good. and he stopped Deku from getting murdered, and so now hopefully Deku and Shouto can mount some sort of aggrieved revenge counterattack to do their fallen friend justice. time for my other two sons to get to work! maybe Shouto can make Deku some new arms out of ice.

#bnha 285 #bakugou katsuki #midoriya izuku #bakudeku #bnha meta #bakugou meta #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha

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serenedash · 3 years ago

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would you be willing to share your thoughts on ira?

thank you for asking anon, I did just write a whole ass essay to a friend about him so I’m just gonna kinda cut and paste some stuff and add onto it. I love this man so much. Anyway it’s Long lmao

so I just think ira is such an interesting character. like the way he's clearly very strong both physically and as a leader and how he's definitely smart and well respected by the other foretellers and I think there's this amazing contrast between that and how he's actually a pretty quiet guy and prefers to talk things out rather than fighting

like I think about how in the khx novel, when the player fights him in the war Ira actually doesn't summon his keyblade at all he just dodges until he decides to actually attack the player and he hits player once and I fully believe he could've and would've killed player on his second hit if aced hadn't cut in and I just. holy shit this man is STRONG and yet he doesn't usually fight like in back cover he's the only one we don't see using a keyblade (other than that intro shot with them posing)

and like. the way his name means wrath and I think a lot about how ava describes how angry and scary he looked irt gula and at first I didn't really get it but the scene comes across much better in the novel like oh this man is ANGRY and yet at the end of the day?? he still regards the others as his friends and comrades and respects them all as much as they respect him

so like. okay that's my canon ira rant but like the way I write him I just really like to play into how quiet he seems especially with how mom mentions all he does is think and never commits to actually doing anything (I fully believe ira and aced would've been amazing co-leaders and their dynamics are amazing compliments to each other as aced is more prone to acting without fully thinking things thru while ira thinks it thru but just. doesn't seem to act on his thoughts). and like. augh man I think ira should've handled the aced stuff instead of invi but ofc that was a part of mom's plan no doubt he knew that ira would actually fix problems instead of invi who jumped to conclusions and went straight for the throat yknow

I like to think ira is just naturally a good leader and people look to him and its just like, effortless to him, but he also doesn't understand it? like personally I think its funny how hard aced tries to be like The Leader but no one respects him that much and yet ira is just Standing There and everyone is like "yeah him" and ira looks at aced like "im so sorry I didn't ask for this" ira just has the Vibes

I know people love to say luxu and or ava are mom's favorites and like. honestly true. but from the foretellers POV I think it looks like ira is the favorite. like the luxu and ava favoritism happen in private and more so when they're already masters and like, gestures at the main plot happenings, yeah, anyway. mom obviously had this all planned out for a long while and I think mom was extra hard on ira because he was going to grow up to be the leader and that's why ira is just like so overly serious as an adult like idk I feel like mom just would be harder on him since he's clearly just generally very smart and extremely strong (I also just like to headcanon ira as having balanced magic and strength I just like to think he can do both in a fight lol)

and I think Ira thinks so highly of the others too which kills me so much bc like. dude you should've been doing shit yourself I'm so sorry why did you let invi go "I'll go talk to aced :)" only to hard cut to her beating the shit out of him. and only after that goes wrong and gula starts fucking shit up does ira go "oh I have to do this Myself huh" like its almost heartbreaking how he held the others in such good faith and I mean honestly why would've he yknow ofc he would expect he fellow masters and friends to be rational and not try to kill each other like who wouldn't,

I think things could’ve worked if they all sat in the same room together more and talked but like. getting them all back in the same room after the traitor shit would be like stapling water to a tree ya feel, because Ira very clearly has a specific role in the groups dynamic. He’s calm and rational, which can NOT be said for the majority of the other characters. The other foretellers, while all smart and strong as well, all tend to jump to conclusions. Invi jumps to accusing Aced of being a traitor, she accuses Ava of “stealing” wielders. Aced decides to act on his own without hearing ideas or thoughts from anyone else. Gula and Ava jump to accusing others of being traitors and end up fighting against those people (Aced and Luxu respectfully. I’m looking away from finale “luxu the traitor” bullshit from mom). Ira clearly is the rock, the steady hand in the group and yknow, gestures back to how Ira and Aced’s personalities compliment each other. It could’ve worked. It could have I think.

I also just think it’s a little funny and strange how KH fans seem to ignore Ira the most?? The character that’s the leader with an extremely interesting design is the one people dunk on a lot. And I guess I can understand that given how he’s in the background for most of khux, I mean hell he barely seems to leave the clock tower at all. On the surface he probably does seem very boring, just this soft spoken guy that doesn’t seem to do much while the others are fighting but also??? Ira probably had NO IDEA any of that fighting was happening until after the fact and Invi came back like. “Uh so. about the Aced issue.”

like idk man!!! I really love Ira!!! and I like him!!! and I think back cover was amazing at showing off the foretellers and giving us all these glimpses into who they were, are and who they became by the time the keyblade war happened. It’s all very very good.

#this is long but what else is new #majority of this was taken from a DM with a friend #bc I literally JUST wrote this for them #kh #khux #kingdom hearts #ira #foretellers #character analysis #kh back cover #im rambling #ask #anon #headcanons #khux essay

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bigskydreaming · 4 years ago

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Its always interesting to me when I see people saying Damian is just like Bruce, in a totally matter of fact way, like its just such a foregone conclusion to them, because I don’t really see it at all, lol.

Like to be clear, its not that Damian doesn’t have ANY similarities to Bruce, I think all of Bruce’s kids share various attributes with him....I just think most of the ones Damian shares tend to be more superficial than characteristic, and there are others who are far more like Bruce than he is? Personally, I think Cass and Tim have the most in common with Bruce, albeit in different ways.....but tbh I think even Jason has more in common with Bruce than Damian does, for example.

Idk.....like for instance, I consider one of the key differences between Dick and Bruce being that Bruce’s sense of morality and ethics is clearly defined, exists as specific, hard-clung to views that he applies regardless of whom is involved in whatever situation he’s applying them to. To Bruce, ethics and morality exist outside of people, and are inviolate.....they’re not meant to change depending on who they’re aimed at or will be affected by them. In contrast, Dick is someone I see as having a morality largely defined by people. His sense of morals and ethics are more fluid....its not that he doesn’t have clearly defined views of right and wrong that underly his regular actions and choices as sort of a default benchmark, a starting point to work off of....its that Dick sees morals and ethics as meaningless if they don’t serve those he cares about or fights for, or if he has to sacrifice someone he values in service to what he views as an arbitrary moral or ethic that CAN be adjusted if he so chooses to adjust it....like that’s the thing HE’S not willing to do. Its like.....Dick sees individual lives as having more value than the abstract, which is what he ultimately considers a singular principle, and so he’d rather sacrifice the principle than the life. Bruce in contrast doesn’t view morals and ethics as being remotely abstract, and views them as the very things that GIVE individual lives value, so he’s not willing to sacrifice his values or principles full stop.

Or to put it another way: If it comes down to a choice between a killer and their intended victim, where it looks like the only possible way to save their victim is to kill the killer before they can kill instead....Dick will take the shot so to speak.....but since he does still believe killing is wrong and an absolute last resort and he’s been raised by someone who he very much does value and who believes that there’s always another way.....then Dick will self-flagellate for not having been able to find another way that didn’t involve killing the killer. Bruce on the other hand, will attempt down to the very last second to find a way to save both lives, no matter how impossible it seems.....and if he’s ultimately unable to, he’ll then self-flagellate for not having found a way to save both.

The truly ironic thing IMO, is even in a situation where BOTH consider themselves to have failed, they’ll both still consider their failure to be the exact same thing....though for entirely different reasons and with different results. Both will view ‘not having been able to find another way’ to have been the true failure.....even though, one killed and one didn’t. Because Dick wouldn’t perceive having killed as his true failure.....because that’s the part he doesn’t actually regret, if it means that he saved the killer’s intended victim as a result. He still did it with intent, in this complete hypothetical, because he perceived the victim’s life as more important than his personal desire not to kill or view that killing is wrong. BUT he’ll still consider himself to have failed because despite having saved one life, he’d view the fact that he couldn’t find another way where taking one life wasn’t a NECESSITY in order to accomplish that.....that was his failure, in his mind. Similarly, but completely differently at the same time....Bruce will consider his failure to have been not having found a way to save both. BUT just like Dick’s true regret isn’t that he killed the killer, Bruce’s true regret isn’t that he DIDN’T, in order to save their victim. Its that he couldn’t find a way out of that box that made it a choice of one or the other.

Course, that’s just my perception of the two of them.

But as examples, this is I think WHY Dick was able to kill the Joker at all in Last Laugh, whereas Bruce will ultimately never bring himself to cross that line. (And while Dick wasn’t matter of fact about it by any means, its significant in my mind that his actual stated regrets about that were always that he played into what the Joker had wanted and thus let him win, and that he’d failed Bruce and let him down....never once was it actually that he’d killed the Joker, period.) Similarly, its why Dick’s a lot more willing to work with people he’s ideologically opposed to or more flexible....in fact, I maintain its specifically why Bruce was so convinced that only Dick could infiltrate Spyral. It wasn’t JUST about the logistics of Dick being believed dead after Forever Evil, or Bruce’s issues about having just watched Dick die.......because Bruce is great at undercover work himself, as Matches Malone, and he traditionally HATES delegating the ‘hard stuff’ to someone else, especially when the stakes are this high....even if he does trust that person absolutely. He believes that if its his responsibility, its up to him to do it if at all possible.

Which is why I think that ultimately, the only reason Bruce didn’t find a way to take on the Spyral mission himself, is because he didn’t think he’d be able to. Spyral was a shady spy organization that engaged in morally compromising work on a day to day basis. Deep down, I think Bruce was aware that there would be too many occasions in which he’d be likely to be sidetracked or frozen by his conviction that there HAD to be a way around whatever he was being asked to do for the sake of keeping his cover, that didn’t require acting against various hard-set morals....which more than likely would have cost him the mission and rendered it a failure.....with catastrophic results for his family and the rest of the hero community. Whereas he knew that Dick would be able to find a way to make it work, because despite having a very strong sense of right and wrong of his own, he knows Dick’s highest moral prerogative is that he WILL act on even something he does firmly believe is wrong, if he’s convinced its the price he needs to pay for the sake of loved ones. And thus, even though he wouldn’t be any happier about the moral compromising nature of a lot of Spyral’s work than Bruce is, he’d be less likely to find himself unable to act in a split second decision time, so long as Bruce uttered the magic words: this is an utter necessity for the sake of your family.

Also ironically, btw, I think one of the key ways that a lot of people perceive Dick and Bruce as different....I’d disagree and say is actually where they’re MOST alike. And that’s that people point to Bruce as closed off and tightly guarding his emotions, hurts, and vulnerabilities at the expense of getting close to people or letting them in.....whereas Dick is more of a people person. But honestly, I disagree. I think people overlook that Brucie Wayne is still as much a part of Bruce Wayne’s life as Batman is. Bruce is and always has been completely capable of being the life of the party and surrounding himself with droves, on a surface level. I think Dick takes it perhaps a bit further than that, he IS more approachable than Bruce in general, that sorta thing.....BUT when it comes to his most private emotions, hurts and vulnerabilities.....I think Dick is just as inclined as Bruce to keep those parts of himself closely guarded and he doesn’t LIKE giving them up. The actual difference between them IMO, again comes down to the role other people play in their ways of thinking.....as I think that the times and reasons Dick DOES open up about his most closely guarded thoughts or emotions....its for other people, because he’s convinced himself that THEY need this from him. Left to his own devices, or at least the perception that he’s the only one likely to be affected by whether he shares his most intimate self with someone else or not, I think he’s just as likely as Bruce to well, not.

And all of this is key to why I think that Damian tends to have a lot more in common with Dick than Bruce, whereas others in the family have more in common with Bruce than Dick. Because see, Damian, like Dick, is more likely to ACT as a result of other specific individuals rather than his own personal sense of right and wrong. Look at when he first came from the League of Assassins. He had a clearly defined view of right and wrong, an already formed morality of his own, even if it was diametrically opposed to most of the Batfam’s, particularly Bruce’s.

Damian didn’t set all that aside because people succeeded in just uniformly shifting his paradigms to be more in line with their views of right and wrong. The changes to his moral code came as a trickle down result of him ALREADY adjusting his actions or behavior - even before he necessarily came to view them as wrong - for the sake of the connections he was building, with Dick, with Alfred, with Steph, and then from there with others.

Just like I outlined with Dick, where he’s more likely than Bruce or many others to act on even something HE believes is wrong, if he views it as a necessity for the sake of a loved one.....Damian is similarly likely to act in a way that completely flies in the face of everything he came to Gotham already believing....if he views it as a necessity for the sake of the individuals he came to value. Just like Dick, simply starting from a different point on the moral spectrum. The sense of right and wrong that they ‘betrayed’ for the sake of other valued individuals was different....not the reasoning for that ‘betrayal’ of their previously established moral code.

Similarly, while Damian is just as inclined to be closed off and guarded as Bruce is (and Dick. and well, most of the Batfam shares this part in common, lol) - like Dick, when he does open up, be it to Dick or Alfred or Jon or Colin.....its because he’s convinced himself that on some level its what THEY need, rather than because he actually believes that he himself needs to let them in.

Meanwhile, the reason I say Jason is actually more like Bruce than even Damian is, lies in viewing Jason as falling somewhere between Dick and Bruce on a lot of this. Basically, I think that Jason is more naturally inclined to be more like Bruce in how rigidly he holds to a particular sense of right and wrong.....its just that the particulars of what they both view as right and wrong are different. Same thing with it being more natural to Jason to be like Bruce in terms of guarding his emotions. But in both instances, he’s still ENOUGH like Dick, as opposed to Bruce, that he does still adjust his emotional behavior and how likely he is to act on or against his personal view of morality.....for the sake of valued individuals. It just doesn’t come to him AS....naturally, I guess, as it does to Dick, and thus he’s not AS fluid as Dick in these things....but he’s still MORE fluid about them than Bruce. And that’s why even though it takes a LOT to budge him from his view of the right and wrong approach to vigilantism, he IS still willing to put aside what he does still believe is a necessity or right....if that’s what it takes to have his family in his life, etc.

To be clear - I am trying to not cast any particular judgments on any of the approaches to morality here....simply just, not the aim of this post. I’m more trying to view things analytically here, so when I frame Bruce as being the most intractable of the lot here, the least likely to budge his morals or act against his personal sense of right and wrong for the sake of loved ones, its not because I’m trying to say that he DOESN’T love his family, or even that he loves them any less than Dick does, Jason does, etc. And I’m not even trying to suggest that he’s wrong for his approach. I’m literally just....exploring the WHY of it.

And for me, that tends to go back to the singular difference between Bruce’s later childhood, after his parents’ deaths, the period between ages 10 and adulthood.....versus the childhoods of his various children around those same ages, or after their parents’ deaths.

Because these are the ages when most of us most fully develop the....intricacies of our personal moralities, when we explore and shape how our behavior stems from that sense of right and wrong and when and where we act on our beliefs, etc.

And the key thing about Bruce during this period of his life, IMO, is that at the time.....he had very few specific INDIVIDUALS who played significant emotional roles in his life and in his mind. Bruce cares about people. Absolutely. A lot. But for a lot of the period in which Bruce shaped a lot of his personal moral behavior, people were almost as much an abstract to him as morals themselves. That’s not quite the right way to put it, but I mean, its more like....there was a kind of uniformity to the way he viewed people as a whole, because there were less individuals specifically standing out from the rest, as PARTICULARLY significant to him himself....and thus likely to influence his growing moral code.

The other key factor is the people he DID have valued emotional connections to at this point, like....they had a kind of permanence that stretched back to early childhood for him. They weren’t NEW additions to his life. While I believe that his parents’ deaths absolutely was formative for him and left him with severe abandonment issues....for Bruce, these abandonment issues were specifically geared around fear of losing people to death. He was already rooted in the same place, same life, same people, that he was before his parents’ death, that part of his life didn’t change.....and thus the people who were left to play large emotional roles in his life and worldview, like Alfred and Leslie.....he might have been afraid of losing them the way he lost his parents, but he wasn’t especially of losing them for other reasons. Specifically: I don’t think Bruce grew up during this time feeling any particular fear of losing someone like Alfred - a staple of his entire life - to, say, Alfred judging him for his choices or his morals.

As a result, Bruce grew up shaping his personal view of right and wrong and resulting morality-stemming behavior, on pretty much nothing BUT those morals and ethics themselves. And there wasn’t any particular NEED to shape those morals AROUND the people he valued in life, or likelihood that he’d lose them due to differences in opinion or ideology, like....with all of this adding up to be the reasons HIS moral code and behavior is less fluid than even most peoples’. Because there wasn’t really any reason for it NOT to be. There were very few people and thus few occasions, while still DEVELOPING all this, that made him feel that he was maybe on the wrong track, or that he needed to make room for exceptions or the possibility that he might need to adjust his views or behavior in these regards.

In contrast......Dick, Jason and most of the others all came to Bruce after significant upheavals in their life that necessitated basically starting over in an entirely brand new environment with brand new people, etc. So they lacked the specific aspect of the PERMANENCE Bruce felt in regards to his own valued loved ones during this period of his life. So unlike him, where he had a bit more space to contemplate his moral code and behavior without being particularly afraid of getting it wrong or that his choices here might cost him these people.....Dick, Jason, et al like....they formed their moral codes and behavior with significantly more awareness that many of the people they valued already had fully formed codes of their own they felt very strongly about...AND at the same time, they had REASON to be....less secure about whether or not the choices they made here could potentially cost them these people.

Which is a perfect recipe for the kind of moral fluidity based around specific individuals, that I maintain most of the kids display to various degrees. In fact, you can almost kinda....chart the extent of their moral fluidity, via various factors like the QUANTITY of significant emotional attachments in their lives at this time. Like I maintain Dick is the most morally fluid based on people.....but that I think has a lot to do with the fact that Dick had the most attachments to....protect or preserve. Even though he was forced to live apart from his extended circus family, they still very much figured into his thoughts as people he cared about and valued, and then there were Bruce and Alfred, and then Clark, Barbara, the Titans, etc, etc.

In contrast, look at how Jason came to Wayne Manor with very few pre-existing emotional attachments with anyone still alive.....and the fact that Jason during his time living with Bruce didn’t really even have occasion to form a large number of attachments outside of his immediate family, as he wasn’t on any teams unlike Dick, and he didn’t mingle all that much with other members of the hero community. Ergo, Jason’s LESS morally fluid than Dick simply for the reason that like Bruce, he had more reason to construct his personal morals around simply his own perceptions and convictions, and less people he felt this moral code and behavior needed to acccomodate, or be prepared to make exceptions for or around.

Meanwhile, I’d argue that Damian is like Jason in that he had fewer people to build into his personal view of right and wrong and how and when to act based on that.....BUT a key difference here is that Damian didn’t have a lot of experience pre-Gotham with feeling valued and valuing other individuals in turn, like...at all. The connections he developed with Dick, Alfred, Steph, etc.....they were brand new to him, basically a revelation in a lot of ways, because before that we’ve seen how he was often taught to dampen his view of how valuable or not to view personal connections.....whereas Jason, pre-Wayne Manor, like......we know that he DID very much have a strong emotional attachment to Catherine that he embraced and was not hesitant to value, etc. So my point here being that the sheer NEWNESS of what Damian was feeling in regards to even WANTING to adjust his behavior based not on what he THOUGHT was right or wrong but based on the PEOPLE he was coming to value....this was a complete shock to the system to Damian in ways that it wouldn’t necessarily have been for Jason, resulting in a likelihood that Damian would feel an enhanced INTENSITY around all this that Jason might not, and thus despite both of them having similar NUMBERS of emotional attachments they shaped their changing and developing moral codes around, these people carried an additional weight for Damian, just as Jason’s few carried an additional weight that Bruce’s didn’t have due to the differences in THEIR upbringings in this period of their lives.....and thus resulting in Damian having an even more fluid moral code and behavior than Jason did....closer to being on par with Dick’s, just as Jason still has a more fluid one than Bruce does.

ANYWAY.

This was a LOT longer than I thought it would be when I started a little post about huh weird how I don’t see Damian the way a lot of other people do BUT SINCE WHEN IS THAT NEWS.

In conclusion, this has been a post.

Good day.

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alrightberries · 4 years ago

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strawberries and cigarettes (always taste like you)

❈ pairing: levi ackerman x reader

❈ genre: angst ❈ word count: 4k

❈ summary: Levi celebrates Christmas Eve the only way he knew how: getting drunk and high on a rooftop while thinking about you.

❈ trigger warnings: drinking and smoking. mentions of violence, gore, blood and death. brief mention of sex. profanity.

a/n: canon compliant but also kinda not? idk if they have cigarettes in the aot/snk universe or if they celebrate christmas so just roll with it.

Smoke puffed out of Levi’s lips, slowly dissipating in the chilly December night. The breeze that passed by caused goosebumps to rise on his skin, a product of the winter’s unforgiving coldness, and the thought of getting off the rooftop where he sat in silence briefly crossed his mind. His office wasn’t that far and it wouldn’t take that long to quickly grab his coat, but the longer he stayed and stared at the dark sky, the more he found himself not caring about the cold breeze or the below zero temperatures.

He took another puff from the cigarette in his hand, eyes drifting towards the barracks where the rest of the regiment most likely was at this hour. The torches and lamps scattered around the base glowed a warm orange-y yellow, a contrast to the whites and blues of the snow and darkness. It looked gorgeous, almost, and Levi silently chuckled to himself at the sickening thought of finding anything beautiful at this fucked up time of year.

Christmas Eve.

A time for friends. A time for family. A time for people to gather around the fireplace and drink warm beverages as they sang songs, told stories, and eagerly waited for the stroke of midnight to open and exchange their gifts.

What a load of bullshit.

Christmas Eve was Levi’s version of a pain in the ass. It was a holiday filled with a bunch of cadets greeting him with a warm and cheery ‘Merry Christmas, Captain’ every time he passed them in the halls, and he would only respond with either silence or a brief nod of acknowledgement. Not to mention, it was also the time where Hanji would try to get him to celebrate different festivities in an attempt to cheer him up.

It was technically a week-long headache for Levi, with the eccentric soldier- for an entire seven days prior to Christmas- trying just about everything in the book in attempts to get him to sit around the fire with the other squad leaders or even do something as small as switch out tea for hot chocolate to match the holiday spirit. It seemed like Hanji’s excessive invitations would always get worse around Christmas Eve, but of course, it never worked.

Levi took a swig of the whiskey he’d brought with him onto the rooftop, extinguishing the cigarette he was holding and lighting a new one once it had reached its end, before taking another deep inhale of the stick of nicotine.

Indeed, Christmas Eve was nothing but a pain for Levi.

Perhaps Hanji thought of him as lonely. Maybe Erwin had even just half a mind to worry about his well-being. But truth be told, Levi did celebrate Christmas Eve in his own little way: at around 10 o’clock at night, without fail, Levi would make his way onto the highest rooftop of their current base carrying nothing but whiskey, nicotine, and strawberries. From there, he would drink and smoke until midnight came, at which point he would start to eat the strawberries he’d brought. Then he would drink and smoke some more until he felt like his liver couldn’t handle it anymore, before eventually making his way back to his quarters at 4 o’clock in the morning and attempt to get his drunk and high mind to rest.

It was his fucked up little Christmas Eve tradition.

The first year Hanji had noticed that Levi wasn’t around the base for their Christmas Eve celebration, they went around asking people if anyone had seen him, to which everyone would reply with ‘No, I haven’t seen him, sorry.’ When the second year came around, Hanji once again noticed that Levi was gone and no one had seemed to know where he was. So when the third year came around, they waited for him to leave his office and stealthily followed him around the base to find out exactly where Levi runs off to during the holidays. Hanji got caught, of course, and by the third time they’d gotten caught (and almost strangled each time) they knew it was best to stick to pestering him rather than following him.

Levi grimaced at the memories of Hanji trying to follow him around, him sensing it immediately and going around the base in an attempt to shake them off his tail, failing, and eventually just resorting to telling them off (Oi, four-eyes, how much longer do you plan to stalk me like a creepy old pervert?)

He sighed.

He wasn’t always like this. He used to enjoy Christmas Eve and doing all the cliche holiday traditions that came with it; sitting around the fireplace with Isabel and Farlan and playing the guitar, pretending not to care about their tone-deaf voices as they sang their own version of holiday songs, never really knowing the lyrics but knowing the tune and making up words to accompany the melody as they go.

Where did he go wrong?

It was around his second bottle of whiskey and his second (or third? He couldn’t remember but didn’t really care at this point) packet of cigarettes when Levi’s fuzzy mind would finally unlock the memories he’d kept at the very back of his mind- a place where he couldn’t reach them and they couldn’t reach him. Memories he’d repressed years ago, never to be thought of, never to see the light of day. Except on Christmas Eve.

He closed eyes as he exhaled, lying down on the rooftop’s snow-covered shingles as he carefully set down the bottle of whiskey next to him, just within his reach. He went through cherry-picked memories of his life Underground once again, relishing in the warmth and happiness he once felt when he was with Isabel and Farlan. But at the very corner of each memory, always within his peripheral vision, was a fuzzy character- a person, no doubt- laughing. Smiling. Holding his hand. Playing with his hair. Kissing him good night. Bandaging his wounds. Showing him tricks with a knife. Making tea. Talking with Isabel and Farlan.

He took another swig of the bottle of whiskey, eager to make the fuzzy memory vivid in a way that only the drink that burned his throat could do. His heart skipped a beat as the blurry edges and lines he’d superimposed into his own mind cleared and revealed the one person that made this living hell a bit less terrible, and the only reason why he ever did his little Christmas Eve tradition.

For a moment, it felt like he was floating on air as he finally got a good look at the character that he’d tried so hard to erase from his mind but never could. His mind may have forgotten but his body still remembered, and he felt the tips of his fingers tingle not from the cold but from the memories of a touch, a touch so endearing, a touch so warm, a touch that felt like home. A touch that was unmistakably you.

Mind fuzzy from the alcohol and head just a little light from the nicotine, Levi can faintly remember the moments he’d shared with you during his time in the Underground.

He remembers being homeless after Kenny had left him, then meeting you as you both ran into each other- quite literally, at that- when you stole bread from a bakery and made a run for it as two angry adults chased after you, cutting him a deal that if he helped you get out of it alive then you would share your measly loaf of bread with him. He remembers teaming up with you from that day onward and watching each others’ backs, sleeping in alleyways and taking shifts for safety, rummaging through garbage cans for food before Levi decided that enough was enough and robbing a stall so you both could eat that day.

Faintly, he also remembers the day he joined a gang that promised him food, shelter, and a steady paying job if he could prove how strong he was by beating up a rival gang member. He remembers getting jumped by three other people as he beat up the man he was told to pummel, fighting them off and winning without so much as a sweat. He remembers the gang he wanted to join eagerly inviting him after the fact, and he agreed on the condition that you came along too.

He remembers the first time he’d taken a shower after years of being filthy, and how clean and fresh he felt without the dirt and grime caking his clothes and his skin. He remembers hearing the door to his small room open- knowing that it was you- and turning around so he could marvel at how clean he felt. But his words died on his tongue as he took a look at you, hair clean, face visible, dirt free, and looking ever-gorgeous in the clothes he’d bought you the day before using his blood money. The clothes weren’t fancy in any way at all, just simple clothes that he bought on a whim when he realized that you’d been wearing the same unwashed garments for years, but he remembers it was enough for him to decide that, even though he didn’t understand what it meant when his heart sped up and the tips of his ears started to burn whenever he was around you, he liked looking at you when were clean. He liked being clean.

He remembers the first time you kissed him. He was sat on the bed of your shared room, gritting his teeth as you stitched up a cut on his forehead and berated him for being so careless, being too confident, on one of the jobs his boss had assigned him. He finished the job, of course, his ability to get the job done without fail being the main reason why he was assigned so many assignments in the first place, but it didn’t make you less angry when he walked into the room with bruised knuckles and a large gash on his forehead. He remembers staying silent, breathing through the pain of what was essentially surgery with no anesthesia as your berating slowly died down and he could finally see in your eyes the worry you tried to conceal with anger. He remembers taking your hand in his after you’d finished cleaning up the materials you used to administer first aid, gently pulling you down to sit next to him as your hands reached out and cradled his face, careful not to touch the freshly sewn skin as he slowly leaned in until his lips met yours.

He remembers the first time he had sex with you, how it was nothing short of awkward and clumsy as two teenagers tried to figure out what goes where and how to do this and that. You were both each others’ first, that much he knew, and though the first time wasn’t as hot and steamy as everyone had worked it out to be, he still enjoyed it because it was you. He remembers cradling you in his arms that night as you fell asleep, a small smile on your peaceful face, and he made his first silent promise that night: that he’d do anything within his power to keep you safe and happy.

He remembers Farlan and the support he gave as Levi worked his way up to a higher position in the gang’s ranks, inevitably becoming the leader through his skills and hard work (a result of the second silent promise he’d made to himself: that he would work hard and become successful enough that you wouldn’t have to lift a finger to live a decent life.) He remembers taking you out of your small shared bedroom and moving you to an actual house that you could call your own; it was barren and filthy and needed a lot of tender love and care, but it didn’t matter- as long as you were with him, he was home.

He remembers getting his hands on some ODM gear through the black market, training Farlan to become his right-hand man as you stayed within the base and administered first-aid to any member of his gang that needed it. He refused to let you learn how to use the gear, fearing that if you were to be seen doing his dirty work with him then you would become a target of both rival gangs and the Military Police. You didn’t mind, perfectly comfortable with staying at home and handling the more business side of things that involved pay distributions and document blackmails.

He remembers meeting Isabel that fateful day she barged into your home, scaring away the thugs who chased after her and accepting her into the group, your odd little family of dysfunctional orphans now complete.

He remembers spending Christmas Eve with his little family, sitting around the fireplace as you laughed at one of Farlan and Isabel’s stories, hand tightly clutching his as he silently reveled in the peace and happiness he managed to find in the least happy and least peaceful city within the walls. He remembers you telling him to close his eyes as the clock struck midnight, eagerly placing a cardboard box on his hands and apologizing for not wrapping it because you couldn’t afford the wrapping paper anymore, money already spent on the gift itself. He remembers his heart swelling as he opened the box, a beautiful porcelain tea set staring back at him as Isabel and Farlan proudly proclaimed that they also got him a copper kettle and some quality tea leaves to match your gift. He remembers scolding the three of you for spending so much money on such lavish gifts, but you dismissed him and said that it was alright, the little extravagance and months of saving being well worth his present for Christmas and his birthday (which were, coincidentally, the same day).

He remembers the Christmas Eve after that. He remembers the three of you shyly apologizing for not getting him a gift, still recovering from your lavish spending the year before, and he said it didn’t matter because he bought whiskey and cigarettes to share. Faintly, he could still hear Farlan asking him what the hell cigarettes were, and he explained that since the whiskey itself was expensive, he couldn’t afford cigars and instead opted for the cheaper synthetic version of it. He remembers being sat on the roof as you laughed and drank and smoked until sunlight peeked through the gutters on the ceiling of the Underground, clumsily making your way back inside your home to sleep (really, it was mostly you, Isabel, and Farlan who were clumsy. Levi had a high alcohol tolerance and though he grumbled about having to always babysit the three of you when you drank, he always made sure that you were all tucked into bed and snoring away before he himself went to sleep.) He remembers it becoming a tradition for your little family, something that you did every Christmas Eve after that.

He remembers the mysterious nobleman who sat in his little carriage, offering a job to Isabel, Farlan, and himself in return for a generous fee and citizenship to Wall Sina. He remembers rushing home and relaying the news to you as you held his hand, happy that they would be able to go above ground, a privilege that few had. He remembers kissing your forehead and promising to use the money that came with the job to buy you citizenship as well, promising that he would take you above ground and show you the sky. He remembers you crying, tears of joy falling down your face as you kissed him, silently thanking whatever higher being there was that you met Levi.

He remembers his last day in the Underground, gearing up with Isabel and Farlan as they prepared to execute their plan of getting “arrested” by the Survey Corps and taken above ground to finish the job. He remembers your sad eyes and the way you tried to conceal them with a smile, yet he saw right through your act and promised he’d be back for you. He remembers sarcastically asking what souvenir you wanted for him to bring back after the job was done, and you kissed his nose before saying you wanted strawberries, a rare delicacy in the Underground but commonly found above. He remembers agreeing, giving you one last kiss farewell before they set out to do the job.

He remembers sitting on the barracks’ rooftop with Isabel and Farlan, admiring the heavens. He remembers being in awe of how beautiful the moon and stars were, the way they twinkled and shined in the darkness of the night. It was the first time any of them had ever seen the sky. He remembers smiling as he sat between his two closest friends, a feeling of wonder and serenity washing over him as he made another silent promise to himself that night: that he would show you the sky the way he sees it now, with your little family.

He remembers the horror he felt the day after when he rushed back to Isabel and Farlan in the battlefield, finding nothing but Isabel’s severed head and Farlan’s torso on the ground. He remembers the pain, the anguish, the despair that ran through him as he yelled and cried, killing the titan that murdered his friends and ripped away half of his family before collapsing on the ground, realizing that there was no point because he was too late. He remembers Erwin telling him that he knew what he was up to all along, but he was more than welcome to stay in the Survey Corps if he so desired. He remembers agreeing numbly, mind still reeling at his loss. He remembers realizing it had almost been an entire year since he last saw you, but he was too ashamed and in too much grief to come back empty-handed. He had failed the job. He had no money. He had no citizenship for you. And he didn’t have Isabel and Farlan anymore.

He remembers working hard for the next couple of months, realizing that the longer he stayed alive the more money they would pay him. He remembers the day he realized he finally had enough money to buy you citizenship, immediately requesting for time off on Christmas Eve, planning to finally come back to you and fulfill his silent promises. He remembers stopping by the local market, buying a fresh basket of strawberries as an apology for making you wait so long (and also because he still remembered your request), before heading to the Underground the day before Christmas to surprise you.

He remembers feeling nervous yet giddy as he walked to the location of your home, thoughts of finally seeing you for the first time in so long filling up his mind. Nervousness was replaced with worry the closer he got to your home, and he realized that something was horribly wrong. He rushed to the house, fresh bodies littering the front steps as he tried not to step on them. Blood dripped around him, and he knew that whatever happened, happened recently. The door was already open, and Levi wasn’t sure what he was expecting as he cautiously stepped inside but he already feared the worst. Just then, he heard a loud thump followed by a groan coming from your shared bedroom, and Levi rushed inside. He remembers the way his heart stopped at the sight he saw: you, bleeding out on the floor, multiple stab wounds on your abdomen and struggling to breathe. He remembers dropping the basket he held, strawberries scattering around the floor as he rushed to your side, fear turning into panic as he clutched you in his arms.

“Levi,” he remembered you whispering with a weak smile. Your hand reached out to brush a stray strand of hair away from his face. “You came back.”

He remembers scoffing because of course he came back. He promised you he would.

He remembers trying to put pressure on your wounds but not knowing where to start because you had been stabbed so many times and there was only so much he could do since he only had two hands. He remembers you trying to stop him, telling him it was no use. He remembers yelling at you to shut up, okay? You’re not fucking dying on me. Not now. Not ever.

He doesn’t remember crying, however. But he does remember you reaching out once more to wipe at his cheeks, and he was briefly aware that somehow his cheeks had gotten wet. He remembers you holding his hands that were still trying to put pressure on the wounds, begging him to stop, Levi, please. You and I both know it’s no use.

He remembers the unmistakable sound of a grandfather clock’s bell, signaling the strike of midnight. He remembers holding your hand as you weakly looked up at his face, a small smile on your lips as you whispered “Merry Christmas and a happy birthday to you, Levi. I love you.” before your hands fell limp in his.

He remembers collapsing, yelling out your name as he held your corpse in his arms. He remembers shifting, feeling an empty basket bumping against his leg, and he’s suddenly reminded of the strawberries he’d brought as he rushed to gather them all up with shaky hands and put them in the basket once more. “I brought you strawberries, just like you asked.” He remembered saying, pathetically placing it down next to your head. But it was too late. He was too late.

It was gang activity, most likely retaliation. He remembered the Military Police saying. You’re lucky, actually. They left just a couple minutes before you arrived.

He doesn’t remember what happened after that.

But he does remember that he broke all of his promises to you. He remembers that you never even knew that Isabel and Farlan were dead. He remembers that you never even got to see the sky or breathe in the fresh air. He remembers that you never even got to know what strawberries taste like. He remembers that he was too late. For you. For Farlan. For Isabel.

He was always too late.

The feeling of something cold and wet on his cheeks snapped Levi from his reverie. He sat up, silently cursing the snow that fell on his face as his hands wiped at his cheeks, letting go of the bottle of whiskey in favor of blindly looking for the strawberries he’d brought up with him onto the roof. He felt numb. He wasn’t sure if it was due to the cold, the alcohol, the nicotine, or his own heartbreak at the memories he tried to suppress. He never allowed himself any time to mourn, instead choosing to keep all those memories under lock and key somewhere within the dark crevices of his mind, only to be opened on Christmas Eve, the day he lost it all.

The day he lost his entire family.

He shifts, suddenly aware of the small box in his pocket. As he took out and opened the small black velvety box, he noticed more snowflakes had melted on his cheeks, the gold ring staring back at his face for a few moments before he angrily closed it once more and shoved it back inside his pockets, its weight feeling as heavy as his heart.

He was too late.

Silently, Levi realizes that snow wasn’t falling. He realizes that the wet on his cheeks isn’t from the snow melting on his face, but rather, from his own tears as they slowly came down in gentle streams.

The bell tower rang throughout the base, signaling the stroke of midnight. Bitterly, he took a bite of the strawberries as he lied down once more, reaching for the bottle of whiskey.

Merry Christmas and a happy fucking birthday to me.

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#this was supposed to be fLUFF believe it or not #writing #aot x reader #attack on titan x reader #levi ackerman x reader #levi x reader #snk x reader

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tenyacore · 4 years ago

Text

the princess of the sea

-> royalty!au iida tenya x fem!reader

this is the literal bane of my existence. here you go, part 1 of my iida royalty au fic. very loosely inspired by raya and the last dragon and genshin impact, but you can barely tell.

IF THE KEEP READING THINGIE DOESNT WORK PLS TELL ME!! ++ there is a paragraph that gets repeated. im sorry, but every time i fix it, it happens somewhere else. idk what to do at this point. sobbing.

warnings: language. also its long and ends on a cliff hanger oops

word count: 4.8k words

check out my masterlist for more of my works!!

the sound of your heels hitting the shiny floors bounced off of the walls nonstop as you ran. you were a princess, one that was late to the ball being held to celebrate the alliance of four nations that had fought against one another for over a century. as you round the corner towards the banquet hall’s doors, you make eye contact with a tall, blue haired, handsome man- and then fall flat on your face.

it wasn’t often countries came together to make amends after hundreds of years of wars, attacks, and disagreements- yet here you are, making a fool of yourself in front of the prince of lupusvine, the northernmost nation. you rush to pick yourself up, muttering a quick “damn it, y/n,” whilst fluffing your dress back up to its once cloud-like form.

“are you alright? it’s y/n, no?” the man you had seen before now much closer, offering his hand out to greet you.

quick history lesson- the planet was named xenos centuries ago, by four gods. what their names were is hard to decipher; by the time humans were capable of writing and recording history, the gods had many names. there were more countries on the planet, but the most important (to you) were the four nations that were named and ruled by the four main gods, all sharing borders. ruritania, ruled by the goddess of nature, has the perfect climate for farming, raising livestock, and taking trips from the other nations. it was considered a utopia for those who liked peaceful, cottage living.

lupusvine, ruled by the god of wind, was cold. the citizens tend to be either extremely wealthy, or dead, really, as being homeless in the brutal cold would be a slow and painful death. they tend to be strict and uptight, and worship their god’s every word. ambrosia, ruled by the god of fire, on the other hand, was scorching hot most of the time. it was mostly desert, and ambrosians tend to be strong, rough, aggressive towards outsiders, yet loving towards their families.

lastly, oceania, ruled by the goddess of water. oceania, being the nation you were soon to rule, was perfect, like ruritania, hot in the summers and cold in the winters, but not unbearably so. it was the wealthiest nation, not because the rich keep getting richer, but because the nation helps and nurtures those who are struggling. it was seen as a sort of idyllic place, and because of that, the other countries often envied oceania.

one last, probably important bit, before you remember the prince of lupusvine is waiting for you to give him your hand- hybrids are common in xenos. which is why, as you stare at the prince, flustered, you barely notice the wolf ears on his head.

“it…it is y/n, correct?” he hesitates.

“oh, yes! i'm very sorry!” you put your hand in his, greeting him. “you must be tenya, prince of lupusvine!” you attempt to compose yourself while the wolf man before you reaches up to adjust your small crown as he breathes out a soft “yes.”

you blush due to how close he is and he apologizes. “sorry, but i'm sure that with the rush you were in, you wouldn’t have had the time to notice your crown was barely hanging onto your head for dear life.” he chuckles and as your eyes meet once again you freeze- you never knew why people were so wrapped up in rumors and gossip, but you had heard one a while back… that the prince of lupisvine’s eyes were as cold as ice, like the land he came from.

while whispers of his frightening gaze and sharp features may be based in truth, his eyes soaking in yours made you feel as if you were melting- the warm, relaxing smile he had contrasting his straight posture and tense shoulders.

“if you’d like, we could enter the ball together” his voice pulled you out of your trance, and as he awaited your answer you thought of all of the consequences entering together would have. your mother and sister’s worry turning into squealing, eager to have you marry the poor man was one. your father upset that you had never mentioned someone was courting you (which the prince was not doing) while he was searching for suitors was another consequence.

oh, and most importantly of all- what you two walking in together, arms linked, would do to the political state of the four nations. you were the precious princess of the sea! you were oceania’s lovely, pure heir to the throne; if anyone were to lay a hand on you they’d be dead before they could take another breath! little did they know that you had a tendency to be anything but elegant, with a foul mouth and two left feet.

and prince of lupusvine- well he… he was perfect. a respectable gentleman who gives his all to his nation, who works to make their nation a better place. the other three countries may whisper and mock; thinking him a serious, scary soon-to-be king with a devotion to law and order, but he was a far more gentle and loving prince than that. everyone in lupusvine was aware of the truth, and you, placing your hand on his arm, now also knew the truth.

“yes, i would, in fact, like that very much.” you flash him your charming smile that everyone in oceania was in love with and enter the hall together.

the consequences you had thought up in your mind paled in comparison to the reactions of everyone as you two enter. shocked expressions, gasps, and even what sounded like a glass shattering filled the room as you make your entrance and walk down the stairs. hushed tones greet you at the bottom, and as you and tenya part ways, you are greeted by the royal family of oceania- your mother, father, and sister.

“you do realize what that looks like, right?” your sister, isla, barked at you. she had a knack for showing her care and love in the worst ways possible, but you knew her words weren’t meant to instigate some sort of argument.

“no, i don't, actually.” you shrug, before your father gently grabs you by the arms

“the prince of lupusvine is no husband for my daughter, i will not allow it until i know more about that boy and what he might be scheming”

“scheming? oh for the love of our goddess, dad, i'm not going to marry him! we simply entered together” you shake his hands off of you.

your mother cut in with a huff, worsening your family’s freak out. “with how late the both of you were it looked like some sort of… surprise marriage announcement!” often, when your mother becomes flustered, or worried, her extensive, fancy vocabulary is thrown out the window.

“its like you were telling all of xenos ‘hey, look at me put my hand on this big strong rich prince oh also remember how we’re both looking for other royal families to marry into, mostly for political reasons?’” your sister rambles on, mocking your manner of speaking.

“oh, whatever, it’s not really like it matters. the four nations are allies now anyways, what’s the issue, even if i were to be seeing him?” all three of your overprotective family members scoff and walk away, clearly getting the message that their worries wont get through to you. spotting the prince again, you make your way over to him before frantically attempting to walk away as the crowd parts for you only to reveal his very serious and scary family having a discussion with him. instead of walking away towards your sister, you turn and smash face first into- actually, you don’t even realize you just walked into the prince of ambrosia, todoroki shoto, until you look up at him.

“oh my goddess, i'm so sorry” you bow at him deeply, and his father tells you not to worry about it as they continue walking towards the royal family of lupusvine. while the four nations all had their issues with each other, lupusvine and ambrosia have made deals with one another before, and oceania and ruritania were on decent terms. as king enji spoke with the king of lupusvine, shoto gave you a quick wave, before standing next to tenya rather than his father.

you’ve already just about had enough with the party when you decide it’s better for everyone if you were to just leave. you leave the ball and head to lucerne’s garden, a small garden and pond built right into the center of the castle, named after a dragon (which have all since vanished from xenos) the goddess kept as a companion. sitting at the edge of the pond, you’re lost in thought as a hand touches your shoulder.

“it’s nice to see you again, princess.” tenya’s voice just barely over a whisper as he sits next to you.

“no, you’ll get your suit dirty-” you start, before he shakes his head.

“perhaps, but the servants in your castle seem to be extraordinary at their job- i don't think i saw even a drop of water on the ground as i sat down.” he laughs, continuing to look around at the spotless scenery, none of the plants having even a speck of brown, and not one part of the ground dusty or dirty.

“well well well, and here i thought mr. prince of lupusvine was supposed to be a stickler for rules! i’d expect a ‘no sitting on the ground with your gown on!’ from you.” you smirk, messing with decorations sewn onto your dress.

“I may be a little uptight, but i don’t quite think there's a rule for sitting on the ground with a dress on..” you laugh as he trails off in thought. “is that lucerne? companion of kirai?” he asks, pointing at the statue of a dragon looming over the pond.

citizens of lupusvine tend to refer to the goddess of water as “kirai”, due to their god calling her that every time he mentioned her, as recorded on slabs from ancient times. that, along with other reasons, is why many researchers and history professors believe that the goddess of water and the god of wind were in a romantic relationship, whether permanently or just for a certain period of time. you nod and face him as he continues “i wish dragons still existed. i learned, when i was younger, that dragons went extinct due to humans.”

your eyes widen, flickering towards the statue of lucerne. “because of us?”

“yes.” he whispers, before the two of you fall into comfortable silence. soon, footsteps can be heard behind the two of you. turning around to see who is coming, you see todoroki shoto, prince of ambrosia, as well as the princess of ruritania, uraraka ochako.

“thank goodness we saw you out here! our parents are so professional and uptight at these things, it's almost suffocating.” ochako gasps the fresh air in, sitting next to you as shoto sits at a nearby bench.

“i dont get why they hate each other so much.” shoto muttered under his breath and everyone let out sighs and nods. while all of you knew the history behind the nations’ feuds and didn’t quite know each other, you four could easily bond over your general disdain for the grudges your families had towards each other.

suddenly, you picked yourself up from the ground and stared at the other three determinedly. “we should find out what happened to lucerne and the dragons! it would be so fu-”

“we already know what happened to the dragons.” shoto cuts you off

“well then what is it?” you huff, annoyed that you were cut off.

as shoto shrugged, tenya started telling the story. “the four gods gave a box each to the inhabitants of xenos and told them to not open them, even if they’re curious about what’s inside.”

“oh no, they opened the boxes” you gasp, shaking your head.

“yes, they opened the boxes. the first three boxes they opened had beautiful things we couldn't even begin to imagine the world without, so, without thinking, they opened the last box. a puff of smoke came out the box upon opening it, and then every dragon on xenos turned to stone. there’s no cure, no answers, no reason as to why the gods would do that, especially when the dragons were so loved by the humans and gods alike.”

“how cliche” shoto sighs.

“do you think the dragons can hear us?” ochako gets up, trying to get closer to touch lucerne. “lucerne, do you think i should marry izuku midoriya, from ylvern, or bakugo katsuki from angria?”

todoroki scoffs, and you note the jealous glint in his eyes. “lucerne’s not gonna come back to life to answer which royal family you should marry into” he gets up, ready to head back inside.

“speaking of marriage…. tenya, y/n, what was that entrance~?” ochako skips back to your side, crouching down.

“nothing, we just met before walking inside and decided to enter together; it's simply none of your concern” you ramble on, refusing to face either tenya or ochako, opting to stare at a lily pad floating on the water.

“oh really?” ochako squints, before getting up. “if you say so, y/n”

“yes i do say so” you nod violently, ochako humming as she walks towards shoto to walk back inside together. exchanging quiet ‘see you later’s, they leave you and tenya alone again.

“would it really be a bad idea for us to get married?” his words making you choke on air. “not like that! it was just a question!!” he flails his arms around, the two of you so very flustered.

you both collect yourself and you think for a bit before answering “i think our parents are probably just suspicious of each other, still. i mean if you think about it, you could say we’re already fated to be” you half joke, expecting more arm flailing, only to receive a hum.

“ah, you mean the theory that kirai and the god of wind were lovers?” he tilts his head.

“some even say they were married, not just lovers, tenya. what, are you suggesting we be lovers?” you joke.

another round of arm flailing passes as you laugh, before he clarifies “you know what i meant, don't act a fool. i personally believe it too, there’s plenty of evidence for it.”

you nod, agreeing with him “that, and because citizens of oceania often think i look like our goddess, and your citizens say your personality matches your god. wouldn’t you say we’re- a- match?” with each pause in between your last words you get just a bit closer before pulling away, laughing once more at his flailing arms and beet red cheeks, finding your new favorite hobby.

one last moment of silence passes as you both stare at the clock in the garden, waiting until it hit 10 to join the others back inside for a speech from the nations’ kings and queens. you stole peeks at his face, your eyes quick to flicker elsewhere when they make contact with his. a minute before it was time for the speeches you two got up and walked together, checking each other for any specks of dirt (there weren’t any, head maid marina would never allow such a thing).

you stop right before the doors, facing him with a smile on your face. “after you, mr. prince, we can't go in together after the entrance we made before.” you motion towards the door and he steps closer to you, waiting. “wha- oh” you realize what he was waiting for and nod, expecting a kiss on the cheek. what he really did, was give you a light peck on the lips, before turning away and returning to the ball.

“your majesty, if i may, i don't believe that’s an appropriate way to say goodbye to someone.” head maid marina places a hand on her hip, a clipboard tucked in between her arm and the side of her waist. she tapped her foot expectantly, brows raised as you stutter, attempting to find the right words.

“please dont tell my mom!!” you blurt, and run into the banquet hall.

“you kissed prince tenya!?” the servants in the dining room all come to a halt, turning to your family, that was supposed to be having dinner.

“ugh maid marina told you!” you put your face into your hands as your sister stifles a laugh and shrinks in her chair.

your father looks like he might explode as he yells “you WHAT?”

“to be fair!! he kissed meee~” you gushed at the thought.

“how is that supposed to make me feel at ease?!” your father stands up.

“dad sit down and eat your unseasoned roasted potatoes-” you pause to raise your voice loud enough for those in the kitchen to hear, “if head maid marina wasn’t busy gossiping about my love life maybe the potatoes would’ve come out properly seasoned!” your words earned you a light whack with a handful of napkins from said maid. “and what if i choose to marry tenya? i assure you he is up to nothing but good.”

your father shook his head. “how can i be sure of that, darling?”

“cause i really like him!! pleaaaaaaase?” you beg, putting your hands together as you give him your best puppy dog eyes. your father was visibly crushed by your strategy before he straightened up and cleared his throat.

“well, if you insist, i suppose i could send the iida family an invitation to a dinner, where we can discuss this matter more in detail.”

“this is becoming more and more like an arranged marriage by the second-” you whine.

the following days were rather uneventful; helping out maid marina as an apology for offending her potatoes, polishing the statue of lucerne (which you’ve found out is essentially lucerne’s corpse) for maid veronica since you let ochako get close to it, and reading up more on xenos’ history. eventually, the day to have dinner with the iida family came and you dreaded it, as your mother told maid marina to find and dress you in a ‘lovely, light blue dress with intricate detailing’ days beforehand.

“and just why do you like prince tenya, of all princes? why not prince shoto?” with every ‘why’ that left marina’s mouth, she pulled on your corset, tightening it.

“for the love of our holy goddess please maid marina please show me mercy” you plead.

“i did show you mercy, when i made extra of your favorite side dish because the main dish of this evening is the royal jade carp, which i know you hate with every fiber of your being” you whine at her rebuttal (and another tug at the corset) before she finally ties it off at the end.

“done. let maid veronica finish getting you ready while i finish the preparations. your future husband should be here soon.” she smooths out her uniform before leaving the room.

“this feels like an arranged marriage, y/n.” veronica sighs, readjusting your hair.

“it wasn’t supposed to be” you groan and attempt to slouch, the corset compressing your insides not allowing you to.

“well, you both seem to like each other, so at least you’ll be marrying someone you might actually grow to love” veronica shrugged, tying a bow on your dress.

“you know, you’re right, vero! it isn’t all that bad, considering some people don't have that luxury.” you smile at your new found confidence.

“oh goddess, like that poor queen of ambrosia. i heard her marriage to king enji turned sour such a long time ago yet they stayed together for political reasons, you know?”

you gasped at veronica’s words “is veronica gossiping on the job?”

veronica smacks her lips annoyed. “its small talk, young lady, not gossiping.”

you quickly made your way down the stairs and towards the dining hall before tenya and his family arrived. your sister, isla, stood at the doors, surprised to see you so dressed up. “this is a dinner to possibly discuss a marriage, not the wedding day itself” she chuckles, leading you to your seat and sitting down in front of you. “i, myself have found someone to talk to as well.”

“oh really?” you raise your eyebrows, amused.

she nods, smiling “a prince named mirio to-” the doors open and the two of you stand up to greet the iida family, led to the dining room by your parents.

“its nice to see you again” tenya greeted you with a kiss to your hand as the rest of your families mingled. you all ate, discussed feelings over the nations becoming allies and you and tenya’s plans for the future.

“wanna see something?” you grab tenya’s hand after the dinner ended, the rest of your family deciding to continue to chat away as you showed tenya around the castle.

you lead him to your room, and as he starts to stutter, telling you “perhaps this step can wait? a bit?” you shake your head.

“that’s not why i’m bringing you in here, but i like the way you’re thinkin” you tease, before stopping in front of a tank.

“is that an axolotl?” tenya gasps, his free hand gently pressing against the glass.

“yes, that’s pudding.” you nod, before leading him over to another tank. “and this is noodle, she’s an oceanian black kingsnake.”

“you like snakes?” he questioned you.

“not really, but when i found her in lucerne’s garden she was in pretty bad condition. she took a liking to me so i just toughed it out and took her in.” you shrug, before leading him to your bed.

once again objecting to any dirty things you’d try to do to him, you stop him. “first of all, i wouldn't do anything you aren't comfortable with, and second, that's not why i brought you here, okay? now this little man right here is nugget!” you lift one of the many blankets on your bed to reveal a tiny, black poodle with long legs. “and thiiiiis,” you move to another side of your bed “is pepper!” a white cat’s face peeks out of the blankets it's piled under, reaching a paw out to greet the prince before returning to its sleep hole.

“i didn't expect you to be such an animal lover.” he says on your walk back to the dining hall.

“it isn’t really that i'm an animal lover, the axolotl was a gift from an organization that keeps endangered animals safe after i made a large donation. the other three were strays that the maids found in lucerne’s garden. something about the lucerne draws animals to her.” you shrug, pondering what might be the reason animals were often found in the garden. Something that you had noticed before but never fully paid attention to was the way tenya’s tail wagged when you two were alone. during both the ball and dinner his tail was stiff and straight, as if he was making an active effort to not draw attention to it. it was nice to know that he didn’t care much about little things like that alone with you.

it was still a bit frustrating how quickly your families wanted you two to get to know each other and get married. while dating for civilians can last many years before even mentioning marriage, sometimes royals have all their wedding preparations read before their first meeting.

“at least we enjoy each others’ presence.” tenya’s words cut through your cluttered mind.

“what?” you blurt, and he laughs softly.

“at least we like each other, you know? we could’ve been forced to marry snooty, arrogant people. instead we get to be somewhat forcefully married to each other.”

“it’s almost like you can read my mind” you suggest jokingly, before leading him to sit down for more quiet time together. “it sucks that we’re being rushed into things, but we can go at our own pace, even if we may be wife and husband while we’re still just going on our first few dates.” he nods at your words with a smile, sighing before getting up, with his hand in yours, to head back inside the dining room.

“you’re getting married to the prince of angria? oh poor thing” various princesses reacted to ochako’s words, wishing her luck on her marriage to bakugo katsuki, another prince.

“it's not all that bad!” she reasoned with them, only for them to disagree.

“not all that bad? the boy’s got anger issues and will probably be a terrible ruler! oh sweet girl he’s going to ruin you, and not in the good way.” some random princess teases. you were currently at a tea party being held in ruritania, by the princess, ochako. you noticed the way her shoulders lowered at their words, each time they insulted him only making her more upset.

“you never know, perhaps he’s actually nice if you get to know him. besides, it isn't our place to judge, seeing as most of us have rather terrible fiancées as well.” you comment, drinking your tea. you notice the smile growing on ochako’s face, a small, silent thank you for sticking up for her.

“of course you’d know about terrible fiancées, soon-to-be mrs. tenya iida” the fiancée of prince sero (oh, poor poor sero) laughs out.

“and i'm sure prince sero knows a lot about terrible fiancées as well.” you insult back.

“did you see the face she made after you said that?!” ochako giggled as you two were walking to her room. the tea party finished rather quickly after your response to princess ophelia’s insult had her running out in rage.

“that’s what she gets. i mean come on, she’s one to talk about me having a terrible fiancée when she is a terrible fiancée” you shrug, the grin on your face slowly forming as you hold in a laugh. “i can’t believe you and bakugo are getting married though! i thought that your parents would surely choose midoriya of ylvern!”

“well, ylvern’s nice n all, and i'm sure midoriya’s absolutely wonderful-” there was the tiniest bit of yearning in her voice when speaking of the prince. “-but angria has more resources. its a better choice in almost every aspect except for the fact that it’s bakugo katsuki that i'm marrying.” she realized what she said and shook her head quickly “no, i'm going to be optimistic! i know everything will turn out fine, and my marriage to him will end up being a better idea.”

“you sound like you’re trying to convince yourself, ‘chako.” you sit on her bed and watch as her cheeks grow redder and redder

“no! i’m! not! don’t do that y/n!” she pouts “i was one hundred percent supportive when you announced you’d marry tenya!”

“and i'm thankful for that-” you raise your hands up in your defense.

“so don't tease me about my marriage!” you laugh, patting her shoulder

“okay, okay, relax!” huffing, you and ochako continue to talk the night away; about marriage, wedding preparations, and anything else you two could think of.

as the days go by, you see more of tenya, each time falling in love with him more and more. you also see ochako more, meeting her fiancée bakugo, and more of todoroki, who’s been spending much of his time rejecting princesses and enjoying the presence of the prince of ylvern, midoriya. one of the worst days was the day your mothers dress was modified to your size and changed to be more modern, head maid marina threatening to poke you as she sewed if you didn't stop slouching. the worst day, however, was the day maid veronica, maid marina, and maid yalani sat with you and talked about what would happen on your wedding night (goddess have mercy on your soul, they thought you didn’t know a thing about sex).

but, as preparations went on, and as you spent time with tenya, you couldn’t be happier. he caught you whenever you fell, which happened many times while learning dances, and he laughed with you whenever everyone else found you unladylike, like when you spit out food while trying to figure out what would be served to the guests, not realizing what you had tasted was made with your least favorite food, royal jade carp. he was traditional, strict, yet had a soft side to him that took you step by step through everything, never failing to whisper compliments in your ear or reassure you that you’re doing great.

everything was perfect, every effort made filled with love and pure intentions, every moment nothing less than a beautiful experience, until the night before the wedding, when everything took a sharp turn for the worst.

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burnedbyshoto · 5 years ago

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Winner Takes it All

pairing: todoroki shouto x cam girl fem!reader

warning: smut, face sitting, 18+

word count: 3,032

a/n: this is my part of the collab for the server, its hella late because idk what being on time means!!! thank you to @secondhand-trash for putting it together, and make sure you read this before going on, or not, it’s all good!!! just know shouto won a contest where the prize is getting to have you sit on his face

✩✶✩❇✩✶✩

Your eyes focused on the flashing green light of the camera on the monitor that sat on the dresser by the T.V.. It held the perfect view of the bed, for sure they were going to get a show today. You had never, ever, done a cam session with another person before -- no matter the number of enticing offers you had.

As soon as you had received the text, you had begun your Livestream. Many of your loyal viewers had joined immediately! Some already donating and commenting about how they had lost today’s tournament but had rented a room nonetheless to watch what was happening. Something about being in the same building as you was enough to stir them on, and so as you waited in your terrified excitement, you flirted with your viewers.

Your hands threaded through your hair as you gave a few different poses for those watching. It was a trademark yet straightforward look of yours. A large white sweatshirt that covered up until your ass, the sultry curves of your supple cheeks peeking out from the bottom, teasing those with what could be a sight. The white shone against your skin, and it contrasted deliciously against the dark red lingerie you wore.

It was a simple lace set with an accompanied garter belt and stockings. But of course, the viewers did not know that.

“I don’t know where they are,” you sigh as you tilt your head as you read the comments about how you should just start the session without him. “Wow, m.m. you’re quite bold today, aren’t ya?”

The door then unlocked, and you had to will everything within you, not to shriek and snap up. Calming down as much as you could, your eyes focused as a man walked through the door, his eyebrows scrunched as the door closed behind him.

“Hi,” you smile as you turn towards him, and in the corner of your eye, you can see the chat exploding.

“Um, hi?” He spoke, his voice low and deep. The timber was enough to cause a delicious shiver to go down your spine as your eyes swept across his body. You were examining the very, very attractive stranger in front of him.

Red and white hair, heterochromia eyes, a scar on his left eye, and a body most definitely sculpted by the gods. Turtle necks indeed left nothing to imagine sometimes.

“I won something? Am I in the wrong room?”

Seeing that he was not moving towards the bed, you felt confused as you walked over towards him slowly. His eyes seemed solidly neutral, nothing was slipping from him, but you could see him tensing and how he wanted to step back with your sultry strides.

“No, I don’t think so,” you whisper as you step in front of him. Fuck was he tall, and your sweater covered palms pressed onto his chest as you smiled softly. “You won the tournament, right?”

“Y-Yeah…” You held onto his hands as you lead him to the bed backward, but his steps were slow, unconfident, and almost resistant. “W-What exactly did I win?”

Your eyes blinked rapidly as you paused, your hands dropping as you felt the bed hit the back of your legs.

“You don’t know what you won?”

“I… um, well, I was dared by my friends to join, we were just in the area, and there was that tournament, and well. They’re -- we’re -- competitive, to say the least. Everyone kept saying that the champion prize was to die for, so… here I am?”

His eyes were truthful, jarringly open as you studied him with pursed lips as you folded your arms. You were unsure whether to drop the provocative facade you wore with this character you played as you wanted to make sure this was something he actually consented for. Or else you’d finish off the Livestream alone.

Your attention drifted to the chatroom that was exploding on why the candy cane looking idiot was just standing there like some idiot and not letting you sit on him already. But it seemed it had also caught his attention.

“You’re going to sit on me?” He asked, scaring you slightly at the confusion and pure innocence dripping from his tongue as your face exploded in heat, was he for real? “I mean, I think it’s a weird prize, but I guess you’re some professional cuddler or something? My friends have told me I have a pretty comfortable lap, but they could be lying…”

There was no way he was serious as your eyes snapped back to the chatroom that was exploding in humiliation for the poor man in front of you.

“It’s kind of weird that there’s a live stream of you sitting on me,” he continued as he ran a hand through his short locks. “My name is Todo--”

“SHHH!” You cry slamming your hands over his mouth as your eyes widen as you shake your head, this was so embarrassing! Standing onto your tiptoes, you brought him so that his ear was to your lips. “Do not use your name when the camera is on.”

“Why?” He asks back, his face shifting to the camera as you shove him off-screen then.

With enough distance to speak at a low voice without the need to be whispering, and with the ability to relax from your persona, your arms crossed across your chest.

“It’s not lap sitting, or cuddling,” you explain immediately as his eyebrows scrunch in confusion as you rub your throbbing temples. It seems that management really fucked up in explaining the grand prize. “The winner of the competition gets to make me sit on their face.”

That changed everything.

His face turned just about as red as his hair and the scar on his face as his eyes seemed to bug out from his skull. “I won… I won that?!”

Nodding your head, you sigh before giggling softly as he looks everywhere in the room, but you and the set up as everything are finally clicking in his head.

“That would explain the pure rage from some of those people… and the wolf whistles…”

“Well, if you weren’t informed, and if you don’t wish to do it, I guess I can let you leave,” you tease as you step back, allowing him to escape if he needs to.

“You won’t get in trouble?” He asks tentatively as he moves towards the door, his hand resting on the handle.

“Nah,” you promise with a kind smile as you feel the slightest bit upset that you wouldn’t be able to be face fucked. “The viewers will be happier to know that it’s a one-man show again.”

He nods his head as the door opens, and it takes everything in you to not wilt at the notion that he was leaving.

“Um, I’m Todoroki Shouto,” he offered a bow as you returned it, your cheeks pinching into a smile as you return his introduction with your own. “I’ll… see you around?”

Agreeing with him, you seriously doubted ever seeing him again as he slipped through the door. Sighing, you returned to the camera, where the viewership had only increased in the time that you had left.

“Hi lovelies,” you greet them again as you climb onto the bed. Your smile broadening in its facade as viewers both rejoiced and rejected the fact that Shouto had left.

You flirted back with your viewers for a bit, teasing, bantering, and taunting them as you refused to take off the sweater just yet. But as you lifted the white sweater over your head, the door opened and shut quickly, and you panicked as you ripped the sweater over your head.

Blue and grey eyes meet yours as the sweater dropped to the bed, “What are you--?!”

His lips attached to yours in this nervous, passionate affair, and you gasped as you stiffened as his lips pressed against yours. It took no time for you to melt in his hold, your arms stretching out to grab onto his toned shoulders as his fingers played with the red lingerie you wore.

Shouto groaned against your tight hold, his lips moving to keep up with yours. His fingers digging into your hips as the two of you rose up to your knees, your lips continued this passion-filled engagement.

His lips are fervent against yours, and your mind spins from having his mouth against yours. Shouto’s hands move from your hips to cupping your ass, your eyes barely manage to open. They’re heavy with lust, laced with growing desire as your lips part. Shouto’s hands feel like fire against your growing heated skin; you let him massage your ass as he starts another impassioned kiss.

Shouto was absolutely gravitating, somehow he managed to keep pushing and pulling you in with every movement of his lips. He draws you closer, and soon enough, you’re climbing on top of his lap. Pants expel from your mouth from the higher position of being on the lap of a boy who was making your heart beat faster than any strenuous activity. How you were so flustered when you were so used to doing this alone was beyond you. As you settled down, his hands are strong against your ass, and he pulls you against his hard cock, and you shudder.

You’re gasping now, sharp breathing as you try to calm your nerves. This man set your body on fire despite not knowing him, and you were now drowning in his lips. His mouth dissipating all the worry and disappointment you once held in mere seconds. Your mouth opens, and your tongue swipes at his bottom lip, pleading for entry, and his mouth opens, granting you entry.

Tongues crash together in the middle. Dominance riding high on both of your parts, neither one of you wants to let the other into each other’s mouth. But lord, is his tongue working magic against yours. Your body shuddering as your hips roll languidly, your crotch pushing forward to grind into his pelvis. His budge is prominent against your barely covered core, and both of your moans tumble into your mouths.

“You get really fucking wet,” he chuckles as his fingers slip under the fabric and trace your slit soaked with your essence. You moan softly as you buck into his fingers, but Shouto doesn’t press further into you, choosing to instead trace the dripping slit between your legs. “I haven’t even done anything to you yet.”

A pool of heat began to sit heavy in your panties as he shifted so that he was on his back, and you sat straddling his waist.

“I believe I won something,” he murmurs as his hands grip the curve of your ass and you audibly whimper at the sudden strike of pleasure that shoots through you because of the small movement,

Shouto chuckles as you sit up, moving your hair out of your face as you feel the bright red blush on your face. This was so easy in private, but having someone beneath you with viewers none the less was getting to you. With shaky fingers, you removed the thin strip of fabric that you called your panties and threw them onto the floor. You couldn’t help but look back over at the chat that was now begging for more, asking the two of you to do more than just kiss and face sit.

Inhaling, you regained your center as you looked down at Shouto, who was trying to guide you onto his face.

“I hope you fuck as good as you look,” you wink as you sink onto his face before he can interrupt you.

His bruised lips part as you tremble slightly above him, and then you felt his tongue tease the center of your lips. You moan under your breath as you hold onto his hair as you slowly shift your hips, wanting to let him adjust to this new position. Then Shouto’s tongue pushed against your slit, not pushing through, but just enough to lap at the essence that had already gathered. And then a soft groan escaped him as the tip of his tongue pushed against your cavern, and you whined at the way it vibrated through your core.

Your head tilted back as you ground your hips, weak bucks shifting through your body as to not overwhelm him as he got situated. His left hand gripped your soft thighs, trying to hold your moving body in place as his right hand curled towards your desperate sex, and he chuckled at the way your body moved to press his fingers into you.

“Fuck, baby,” you groan loud enough to be heard as the tip of his nose brushes against your clit, his teeth nipping at the skin of you fold as you grind downwards. But the slow and almost hesitant pace does not last long as Shouto moves quickly.

His tongue suddenly pushes through your softly throbbing core and twirls against your spasming walls. Then you’re also met with his fingers that run against the opposite wall of his tongue. Your cry of pleasure was loud as you yanked at his hair, your hand landing hard on the mattress as your hips slam against his face. But it doesn’t deter him, nor does it slow him down.

You struggle to keep your eyes wide open as the pleasurable sensations continue to crash into you as he continues this assault on you. And as you try to reign in your mind, so that you could take control, he enters another finger into you.

Guawfing loudly, you nearly scream at the way his fingers scissor within you, or how his tongue laps at your secreting juices as if he was a starving man.

“You taste so good,” he moans against your dripping sex, and you almost scream his name at the way his words cement within your center. “Does this feel good, sweetheart?”

The pet name is basic, nothing special to it, but the way he uttered it was almost threatening, dark, sinister, and you only panted in response.

The hand holding your right thigh moves to pinch and twist your clit, and you shriek as your hips buck wildly as sharp pleasure rips through you. Despite your lack of response, your action was enough to make Shouto pleased as he continues to whisper in tongues to you.

Your eyes lulling to the back of your head as the tightened pressure and blazing heat within you only grows with every push and flick of his tongue and fingers. But its the chuckle that reaches you truly as you will yourself to take back control.

Gasping, you grab a handful of hair and yank his head backward, his tongue now reaching you at a new angle. Your eyes come down to meet his, and the lust and excitement in his eyes affect you as you bite down harshly onto your bruised pink lips. You then begin to bounce against his face in short yet hard jumps, your pussy grinding against him as his eyebrow arches.

“W-Who said you were in charge?” You gasp as you swivel your hips, and you can feel his lips smirk as his tongue twirls in rejection.

Rolling your eyes, you wipe the sweat off your forehead as you focus onto the monitor and see the massive amounts of tips you had pulled in just from this.

Take off your bra was the repeated comment, and so, with a smirk of your own, you released the red bra and pressed the cups over his face, prohibiting him from seeing. “Let’s see how you keep up, pretty boy.”

Your hips were relentless as you rode his mouth, his tongue slurping and lapping into your moving cunt as your fingers remained firm in his hair, and the free one now playing with your nipples. You twisted and tugged on the sensitive nubs as you rocked forward and backward. Your panting was growing with the increased pleasure in your body became electrifying, and Shouto wasn’t just taking this new domination.

His fingers remained within your cunt, firing in and out of your spasming walls until he curled them the right way and hit your g-spot. Shouto could not doubt what he hit as your reaction was evident as you not only shrieked loud enough to wake the dead, but your thighs came slamming against his head. But Shouto carried on his he pushed a third finger into you, stretching out your dripping cunt as you mercilessly rode him out.

He hit your g-spot again and again, the accuracy mindblowing as the slurping of your cunt hit your ears in the most ludicrous of ways. Your fingers dug into his skin as you drowned him between your thighs, and then it hit you.

Your release ripped through you the second he hit your g-spot again. The pleasure in your belly too overwhelming, and your toes curl in electrifying pleasure as you sob into your hand. You can’t handle it anymore, the desire being too much, and your vision turns white as your jaw drops as your screams go silent.

It feels like an eternity before you fall off Shouto, your nearly naked body falling onto the bed as breathless pants are shared between the two of you. Your eyes look over at Shouto, whose face is painted in your cum. You giggle loudly as your eyes eventually train onto the painful-looking boner in his pants. You sit up and look at the green flashing camera with a devilish grin as you look back down at Shouto.

“I think that’s it for tonight,” you tell the camera as you give a pointed ‘i’m not talking to you’ look at Shouto. “I hope you enjoyed the show ‘till next time!”

The last thing the viewers saw was the slight sheen of sweat on your breasts as you turned off the Livestream, but it was not the last bit of action that you and one Todoroki Shouto had that night.

Nor was it the last bit of action that the two of you would have with each other.

#todoroki shouto #todoroki shoto x reader #todoroki x reader #todoroki shouto x reader #todoroki smut #bnha writing blog #bnha #bnha x reader #bnha todoroki #mha #mha x reader

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axemetaphor · 3 years ago

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im definitely not ripping off my friend by making a list of au ideas i have no siree //gonna slap this under a readmore cause i. well i say a lot. all of the time. i tried so hard to format this Good but tumblr fucked me up i am so sorry

so first-off i know i already have one WIP AU (Auckland) on ao3 so i wont talk about That one cause like. spoilers. i actualyl have it like 80% created so its likely gonna truly get finished for once and i dont wanna ruin shit

the other one ive posted about is something me and ben (catgirlrepublic) have worked on together its not at all close to done or anything but it's. a fun little crossover. Between jdate and my fuckinuhm. Original characters story “Untitled Villains Project”. the sketches of the comic version ive started is actually my pinned post 👉👈 its like the first chunk of the story, i think half of part 1? yea.

Tldr john fucking Somehow is able t oget into contact with a certain curious scientist from another reality who’d just love to study the Soy Sauce, most certainly not for her own nefarious purposes

John and Dave meet up with the scientist, her name is Boss, and her lab assistant, Toxic, and after a bit of a preliminary Vibe Check where john determines her trustworthy (which Dave doesnt agree with,) the two agree to be taken to the world UVP is set in. from there they stay in Boss’s lab (big old fucking abandoned military lab). John and Toxic are fast friends due to mutual love-of-chaos. John n Dave get to fuckin, camp out on an air mattress.

The day after they arrive, the two get split up, not exactly intentionally; big plot points of UVP are liek. Fueled by Boss sending Toxic to go fetch her “research materials,” which are usually important artifacts

Fuckin side note i guess i have to explain my dumb bullshit: Boss’s, uh, field of expertise so to speak is actually fckin, basically the scientific study of magic and superpowers n shit like that. This shit’s all real in that world. Toxic’s got fuckin superpowers, so do 4 other main characters, whatever. It’s got a bit to do with spirituality, iss Boss’s hypothesis. So she has Toxic fetch important artifacts that might have “energies” to them. The thing is actually way more fuckin complictated than that, this is just Boss’s initial hypothesis.

Motherfucking anyways. So Boss gives Toxic a job to do, and John get excited about how Cool that sounds, and ends up going with Toxic, leaving Boss and Dave alone. Neither is thrilled about this. But Dave and Boss get to have a bit of conversation (while Toxic and John are off bonding and having a good time) and come to a… mutual grudging understanding of some kind. They still dont like each other though lmao

Theres gonna be deeper shit going on but we havent sorted it out yet/tbh havent like Written For It in a while but i still like thinking about it a lot lol

Also pretty sure our endgame is john and dave steal toxic and bring them back with em lmao boss is kind of not nice and toxic would most certainly be better off in Undisclosed. Actually theyd fucking love it. Theyd become a local cryptid im sure. Undisclosed’s mothman is a teleporting spike baby.

I have. Another crossover AU that i might. Post something about for halloween? Maybe? If i have it finished?

Crosses over into, you guessed it, another one of my original-character projects. God, am i vain or something?

I promise this is just because i think blue and dave should get to team up to beat up some monsters

Quick briefing on my fuckinuh. Original character story, this one doesnt have a name (yet? Idk lol my work never actually goes anywhere sso who gives a shit). It centers around two grim reapers, Red (26, bi woman) and Blue (22, aroace agender asshole). In this reality or whatever, grim reapers function kind of like low-level office workers. They get told who’s going to die + when by some middle-management types, and upper management only involve themselves when punishment needs to be doled out. These Higher-Ups can be seen as analogous to Korrok; they’re decidedly not human, never were, and fucking terrifyingly powerful. Additionally, grim reapers are sort of .. designed to be “background noise” people. In reality theyre supernatural beings and, uh, look Real Fuckin Weird (the whole deal has a neon aesthetic im terrible at drawing uwu) but most humans just perceive them like extras in a movie. A body’s there but the camera’s not focused on it.

To the narrative: the shit starts when Red n Blue get relocated to Undisclosed. Relocation is something that just happens every now and then to reapers; they usually work in teams, but they get split up into different cities to avoid any strong bonds forming (a counter-union strategy from the Higher-Ups).

Red, Blue, John and Dave end up running into each other for the first time in a McDonalds where John n Dave are getting some 4am “hey, we just survived another horrific monster fight” celebration burgers. John and Dave are the only two people who can see how… strange Red and Blue are. Nobody else notices.

John unintentionally pisses Blue off, leading to Blue whacking him upside the head with a dildo bat. They all four get kicked out of McDonald’s. Dave and Red both are less than thrilled

Blue and John end up resolving their differences, somehow. Red and Dave briefly bond over their dumbass best friends being, well, dumbasses. They all part ways amicably.

somehow-or-other (idk yet) they end up running into each other a few more times, and eventually john invites them over to his place, and the four (plus Amy now!) get to know each other a little better

while there, Blue gets a text about some guy who's gonna die and John offers to drive them to where that's gonna go down. they take him up on the offer and get to have a bit of one-on-one conversation

after that ordeal though Blue has had Enough of people and bails, leaving John to head home alone

theres a sort of mirror-development going on with the five of em. Red, John, and Amy would all like everyone to get along, though theyre a bit tentative about it (John moreso than the other two, actually, jsut cause. well Red n Blue could still be Sauce Monsters). Dave and Blue on the other hand do Not like people enough for this shit, and Dave's not unconvinced theyre Sauce Monsters. he will not trust them until proven he should

the story's kinda nebulous but i got an idea for some Shit going down that involves both Sauce Monsters and also the Higher-Ups to have some fuckin absolute chaos go down.

Oops! All Trans

Everybody is transgender. Everyone

Ive actually workshopped this one both with ben (catgirlrepublic) and ghost (ghost-wannabe) lmao its a fun lil concept ive had from the get-go cause i mean. What’s an internet tran gonna do other than hit all their favourite media with the Everyone’s Trans beam

Dave transitioned post-high school and faked his death for it. People go missing in Undisclosed all the damned time, after all. He moved to the next city over, transitioned fully, then came back as a completely new man. Yes i know this doesnt exactly fit with the “everyone knows David from high school” thing alright, hush.

Anytime anyone brings up John’s old best friend (pre-transition Dave) John throws an entire fit like an overdramatic grieving widow. Full-on sobbing “why would you bring her up?! I miss her so much—” to the point that people just stop bringing up because Jesus Christ That Sure Is Uncomfortable KJHGFDS.

This is a scheme he and Dave came up with prior to Dave leaving, though Dave hadnt exactly anticipated John putting on this much of a performance about it— but it’s stopped Dave from ever having tto hear his deadname again, so hey.

Amy transitioned sometime in middle school/early high school. Her family was super supportive and loved her a ton and most people just know her as Amy. she was super shy her whole life really so. Yeah. people just dont think to bring it up lmao also i Feel Like big jim would absolutely wallop anyone who gave her trouble of any kind

John’s nonbinary (genderfluid specifically) and not exactly Interested in transitioning ? like hes fine with how he is. mostly.

he came out to Dave in high school but hes not out to anyone else exactly. Maybe his bandmates. Probably any other trans person in Undisclosed knows, too, cause theyre safe to tell lmao. Johns mostly a “he/him out of convenience” kinda nb who’s cool with any pronouns but does prefer they/them most. Dave and Amy use they/them when the trio are alone

Also this is a totally self-indulgent caveat that i think would be great, Dave’s actually agender but because he's transmasc and transitioned when he thought there were really only two options, and being Boy at least felt less weird than being Girl, he just kind of assumed he was a dude. It’s only through a lot of (like fucking years and years hes probably in his 30s/40s when he puts 2 and 2 together on this one) talks about gender with John that he realizes he actually feels like No Gender. Masc aesthetic with none gender.

I Just Think It’d Be Neat Is All Okay

Also Amy came out to Dave about being trans early on in them seeing each other and his response was to get very nervous before blurting out “me too” and then just being too embarrassed to talk about it for the rest of the day. Hes got a lot of hangups on talking about it actually it takes years for him to get comfortable in that

by contrast when Amy comes out to John about it his response is to yell “EYYY ME TOO” and give her a big ol hug lmao

I think itd be neatt if Amy ran a like. Transfem help/advice blog on tumblr. Kind of helped-with by John who can give her transfem nb insight for certain asks. I also just think that would be neat.

Cowboy AU - i put this one last cause its got drawings to it actually. Theyll be at the bottom

Basically just. Hey you ever watched a western. I think they look neat

This is another one me n ben have come up with lol

The soy sauce and all that shit still exist, im not sure where korrok fits in yet but ill figure it out

Theres no real like solid narrative yet ? but heres the barebones of everybody’s arcs.

John

Johns an absolute troublemaker, Of Course. Hes wanted in several towns for absolutely stupid shit. Hes a loner who shows up, causes chaos, gets drunk, does some drugs, runs away if people get too mad at him

He definitely had the same kind of deal with the soy sauce as in canon— he was at some kind of party, somebody offered it, he took it cause why the fuck wouldnt he, now he can see monsters and shit

Hes kind of a mooch also. Like. dont let him stay in your barn man he’ll never fucking leave and drink all your booze.

He runs into Dave when they happen to just, cross paths in the same town. the bullshit John stirs up ends up involving Dave in a way that makes it seem like it's his fault too, and they both get run out of town

after that he just tags along after Dave. hes decided this guy's Cool he wants to stick around. Dave is pissed at first, but not enough to shoot him or anything, and eventually, John grows on him

Dave

Dave also is a loner but unlike John hes simply so fucking awkward and bad with people. He doesnt feel like he belongs anywhere so he just travels

He’s the stereotypical Lone Ranger tbh. He wanders from town to town, solving their problems, though hed deny its out of any moral obligation (it kinda is, a little bit, tbh. He does like feeling useful). He shows up, fixes things, leaves. He's kind of a legend but most people think he's hiding something dark. other people jsut know him as that guy who farted real loud in the middle of the saloon and promptly skipped town out of sheer embarrassment. you know how it goes with Dave

He ends up involved with the Soy Sauce when a snake (not Actually a snake,) bites him. The snake’s more like the wig-monsters, really. Anyway, it injects him with the soy sauce, he fucking trips balls in the middle of the desert, he can see monsters now

He runs into John and shit goes tits-up, as said, but they become traveling buddies after that. he'd never say so, but he's glad for the company, actually. it's nice. hes not used to companionship but he feels a strange kind of easiness hanging out with John....

not sure how the Monster Dave concept will like fit in to this reality but like. trust me i want it in here. I'll Figure It Out.

Amy

Amy’s been living in a town John and Dave end up passing through and she is very curious about these two new Handsome Strangers who claim to fight monsters and just kinda. Persistently tags along til they let her join for real

Her family’s all dead, unfortunately, just like in canon, and she’s been living alone for a few years before meeting John n Dave. she had nothing left in that town to stay for, she'd been fantasizing about escaping on wild adventures for a long time and this felt a little like a dream come true. (Dave still gives her a spiel about how Difficult it is, but really, her fantasies were pretty grounded-in-reality already. i jsut think thats how she is, yknow?)

Shes the first person to react to the whole “we see monsters” shit with a kind of “oh, okay. neat” kind of response lmao

John and Dave fix whatever the fuck is up with her town (maybe that’s where the Korrok shit can fit, who knows) and Amy ends up being integral to that. After, she insists they take her with them because “they need her now” and Dave just cant really say no. John too is very much "the more the merrier!" and hes actually glad to have another person along he loves people lmao

At the start she has long hair but after she joins them she chops it short with a knife for convenience

also she still is an amputee. justt. idk. it was a wagon/stagecoach accident rather than a car accident lmao. just to clarify since i hadnt mentioned it, i wouldnt rob her of her ghost hand or yknow. all of the significance to her character that Missing A Hand has. although also now im going to have to research what was used as painkillers way-back-when, but im betting shes still got, like, her pain pills, they probably had those, maybe i wouldnt have to try too hard there. old timey medicine could be WACK though,

Shitload

Yeah hes in tthis shit mostly cause i liked designing his cowboy self lmao

Hes a kid (like 16, 17, technically i think in those days that was more Young Man than Kid but whatever. Hes Young i mean.) who got possessed by the Worms out in the desert and, by his family’s perception, just went missing!

Hes also a wanderer, but he ended up at the same town john and dave met in, at that same time, and starts following them after, already aware of who/what they are.

He keeps his face covered 24/7. actually he covers a Majority of his self for reasons. kinda want him to be a slightly more horrifying Worm Entity rather than human idk,

I kinda dont have much for this boy yet sorry Shitload

images !

with some editing notes for me cause im doing a very specific aesthetic with this lmao. i might change some lil details/colours though ...... idk

im also kinda 🤔 about shitload's colour palette. i want things assoicated w the sauce to be black'n'red predominantly but i think his palette might mirror dave's too closely. also im working on a korrok design i jsut am too busy to draw it now

#jdate #john dies at the end #aus #erh. tthe hell do i tag this as #rambles.txt #long post #well let me know if youd wanna hear more or. or something #send an ask. or whatever #yaknow #:jazz hands:

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loudestcloud · 3 years ago

Text

After a long brake from this saga, it returns for her birthday! However, I should start this by saying the obvious fact that I don't like they way Nami and women in general are drawn, I really wish the mangaka had a middle ground between the 'If I sneeze I'll snap in half sexy girls' and the 'i will crush you in my fat rolls ugly girls' types but here we are and this is what we've got. As a result, most of my connects would usual be how I wish she her skirts would be longer n such but I'm not gonna do that because I don't want it to get in the way of the actual content in the post. Let's go: NAMI!!

'First appearance': it's not the first at all, idk what to call it tho, it's her 3rd. it's just the one in We are so technically counts. It's probably the nostalgia, but I love this look. I can't place why but I'm not even mad at the weird stripe lengths design, it's just cute to me. The sleeves are short but long enough to hide her tattoo and I adore her skirt too like the dark orange parts remind me of blood oranges!

Baratie, Loguetown, Little Garden, first Arabasta outfit, (& Long Ring Long Land) Post-Arabasta & Post-Enies Lobby: This was probably a common or local brand for her cos she's rocking that skirt in all different colors 👌 Also, I just wanna start by saying, all her t shirts actually go past her hips? So her skirts would actually be longer than they look cos she's actually draw quite strange when in tops. Anyway, shes starting off strong with this nice pink top n I like the nice shade with the white. Then, a dark blue for the first and only time ever for Nami to pick out. I personally think lighter colors are nicer for her tho. Bringing us to this BEAUTIFUL baseball jersey with purple sleves, get it bitch oml! 😘 I don't think that skirt matches very well but it's still cute. Then, she tries stripes and I think it works out well and I think the 3/4 length look is good for her too so that one is nice. The diamond pattern tank top is actually one of my favourite Pre-Skip looks just because it's so well matched with the skirt. You can't see in the picture but the dot inside the circle is the same yellow as her top so it's just very well done, definitely an actual set. And the lace? Amazing. I hate the feel of lace myself but it looks amazing.

Baratie, Drum Island, Post-Arabasta, Long Ring Long Land Whisky Peak, Post-War, Punk Hazard: Now, I don't actually have much to say about these, I just think they are worth mentioning.i like Nami in shirts with text, I always spend way too long trying to read em lol. Anyway, I like the Drum Island shirt & Punk Hazard shorts because ✨ stripes ✨

Water 7 & Enies Lobby: Nami's first dress! And also a new skirt! I like this frilly style more, I wish it stayed around tbh but oh well. Water 7 gives us the iconic blue shirt & tie with matching shoes and it's a blessing really. Then, Enies Lobby gave us the strange Denim outfit that Paulie hated with all his mind 🤣 At the time,I thought it was a cool outfit. It's not bad, the too looks a bit armour so it's go that going for it and that jacket slaps in my opinion. I like long sleeves on cropped jackets.

Thriller Bark: Pink! When I saw the first outfit, I thought something super bad was going to happen because it looked fancy and that anime for 'time to die'. Lucky for her, nothing happened at all apart for her just looking really grown up. I like her hair too, super cute. In the next fit, it's a total flip, quite punk. Her belt is a nice contrast from her skirt and I LOVE her top! Her party outfit looks like an itchy lace and the straps, while I live frills, look very irritating. It looks cute but I could never wear it myself. Lastly for this set is one of my all time favourites for Nami because she gets to wear a necklace! It's very small and hard to see but I think it's amazingly cute. This combination of her hair being down again, a nice pokadot shirt, full length jeans and a big smile from making a friend makes it all the best.

Sabaody Archipelago & Levely: As with the 3rd outfit set, I just think these are neat. She's rockin' a different necklace, shorts and a 90s style flower top then in Levely she's chillin' in a simple puff sleeve shirt with hearts a cross the chest. Simple looks, very effective

Fish-Man Island, Punk Hazard & Dressrosa: Fish-man island comin' in hot with the iconic Timeskip look and belt! This, I much prefer the Crimin bra because it's simple plus her hair is up really cutesy. Also it's funny cos that would have been expensive for she didn't steal all the outfits she did. Looks wise, Punk Hazard is my favourite but I really dislike that it doesn't cover the bottom of her boobs and its not really supportive. I think it's my favourite because it reminds me of Frankys vibes. Dressrosa's is also really cute but once again looks like the frills would tickle a bit. Also I like her shorts.

Zou: A DRESS! not only that but it's Purple, a color she's not worn before more than as sleeves years back. It's an interesting dress style, very lacy and would brake easy but it's VERY nice to look at. Her next looks bring back the ruffley frills and basic shirts. The half button shirt has her 2nd number on it and the colour matches her skirt! I like the purple coming back in her next skirt but what I like way more is her last Zou look. It's a nice halter neck with black lace trim then to make it better, her skirt is a wonderful shade of red that has an adjustable rope belt with little gold buttons on! I just- 🥰

Whole Cake Island & Wano: everyone's lord and fashion savour, WHOLE CAKE!!! I mean look at how cute she is in that first one! That fairytale aesthetic really owns my ass at this point! Then it's a total shift with that more mature sexy style red turtleneck dress no sleeves? The side by side vibes are 😘👌 love em! Plus, this arc gave us more purple AND 2 box neckline dresses which I think with Nami they really work. The forts Wano ouyfit is only here cos blue really works for her. It look okay but I don't think they are as nice as most people do. Idk what it is about it, I think it's just too square. The 2nd is nicer to my eyes, idk

And lastly, I just wanted to Shout out the First eps and the Dead End Adventure outfit cos it looks like Vector from Despicable me:

This post was made listening to 'One Piece vibes' by Kato & rewatching One Piece

Sanji

Luffy

Zoro

#one piece #op art ref #art ref #art reference #op nami #nami op #nami #one piece nami #nami one piece #fashion #op fashion #happy birthday nami

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twinvictim · 4 years ago

Note

your opinions on each of the post team silent games and a rating out of 10. hand 'em over

YEAHHHHHH FINALLY CATERING TO ME!!!

Uh really long post oops. for reference, my rating for the first 4 sh's are as follows

Sh1: 9/10 Sh2: 7/10 Sh3: 9/10 Sh4: 9.5/10

Silent Hill 0/Origins

overall score: 7/10

Alot of the games issues can of course be attributed to it being a psp game, and while i won't excuse everything bc of that, j have to be honest and say I think it had so much potential as a (very) late ps2 game. Not to mention, the game ON THE PSP functions as it should. (The ps2 port does fucking not tho..oops) ans you'll see that this is...a rarity post team silent.

The story has alot of potential, Travis as a character is interesting and sympathetic and j think his dynamic with alessa js super fascinating to dig into, both of them being abused children and there was alot of intrigue regarding his powers, the game feels like a smaller more watered down she, and for that I can't fault it too much. The weapons system isn't my favorite but the combat itself is reminiscent of 1 and 2 and I really like a good chunk of the monster design, there was clearly thought and care put into it, nurses and strughtjackets/lying figures be dammed. The unlockables are pretty cool though and alot of the environments look pretty cool for a psp game, hell i LOVE the theater level its super unique, I would love to see it in (actually functional) better graphics. I also think the puzzles are pretty solid, not hair pulling like sh1 even if they're not quite as clever as say sh3.

My biggest criticisms come from the reuse of sh1 characters (just alessa and Travis would've been fine, maybe dahlia and some more org characters would've been better) the bad ending being straight up bad writing. Not to mention they did the sh3 thing of "kill too many monsters and get the bad ending" which is...stupid. The foreshadowing of the butcher being? He's just kinda there, I like the lead up but it would be more interesting if the butcher represented something from those years between Travis' father dying and him being an adult. And while there's more replayability imo than sh2, it doesn't have difficulty sliders and that makes it kinda hard to come back to quite as often. Not to mention unlike sh1, 3or sh4 there's not as much horror focus and random events.

Overall, solid game its fun to play, very silent Hill and if you're willing to look past a few continuity errors and accept its a little different and slightly derrivitive at the same time, I like to say I had alot of fun with it and still do. (Maybe I just like Travis alot...idk)

Silent Hill: Homecoming

Overall score: 6/10

Once again most of the issues here are gonna be corporate fuck ups, but I'm also not gonna beat around the bush, this game isn't like...good. its bad actually. "But you gave it a 6/10?" Yeah bc its not NEARLY as bad as some other games I've.. experienced.

The negatives here are, many and vast, so let's run them down. Firstly the games performance is janky on console (ps3 at least) and abysmal/unplayable on PC, what with framerate issues that are detrimental to game play on pc and make the third boss impossible. That said on console it is completable and not even too terrible...usually. Scarletts boss fight however is terribly unbalanced and broken on all skews so :/. The combat is...functional but not anyone's favorite, it's difficult to use any actually strong weapon and you can pretty much strong arm ur ways through shit with just the knife (except scarletts first form..don't try it, it won't work) for some people this will be borening (not my opinion but w/e). Most of The puzzles...leave alot to be desired. I hate sliding block puzzles. Also no run button? At all?? No easy mode? Ok... also what is this.. wheel design for the inventory...im accidentally using my serum..what is serum also? And why is the item pickup noise like...bass boosted.

The character models look awful most of the time, and comically unfinished other times, some human models are just grotesque, (judge halloway, Adam shepherd, mayor Bartlett. .you get it) and yes...there are sexy nurses. Bc of course there are. (Whole ass out???) They did straight up have some terrible endings for this game (ph ending for one, the way you get the ufo? Hell the ufo ending is kinda boring. I like the in water ending here too but. Yeah.) the story has some, problems. To say the least.

However, while the performance is bad its not the worst I've played (on the ps3 once again..unplayable on pc) and I hardly noticed the framerate when I was just running around, I personally found the combat kinda fun, between trying to dodge accurately and still attack and not use all my health items (bc those and ammo are actually rare! Unlike some games...) it is kind of a challenge and reminds me of a much worse sh4. And hey, the health items both heal an understandable amount of health that i can easily read with a bar (unlike 1-3) and they're not a complete joke (unlike sh4...) i find the exploration really fun and sure the characters look shit but the environments are Fucking great. The church is one of my fav sections, short as jt might be and yes it stole the confessional scene but its pretty well written and acted I think. The monster design is pretty fucking rad too honestly, I like the schism, siam, I like the DESIGN of the needlers even if they make me so mad to fight, and hey the nurses and ph don't show up that much to be too aggregious. The boss monsters are also fantastic design wise, very unsettling and the boss rooms are interesting as well.

The story has problems but it also has alot of potential, the concept of people sacrificing ther children for silent Hill and being overcome by their own pain and guilt is pretty fucking cool, and alex is a good character they did a good job of giving him personality, ppl bitch about him being a soldier but a) he's not and b) soldiers are people too, and a sh game that could tackle toxic masculinity, be critical of the military, and also tackle abusive religeious parents is pretty intriguing, not to mentions themes of brotherly love that's complicated bc of how they clearly favored Josh . Sure, it misses the mark, but I like taking the potential and thinking about it bc its compelling to me. And like I said, i like alex alot.

Overall, bad game yes, but not the worst as it has enough good for me to honestly really enjoy it, besides it is pretty funny when it is bad. Don't play the pc port tho

Silent Hill Shattered Memories

Overall Score: 8/10

Unpopular opinion im sure but honestly? I find this game ALMOST on par with the team silent games. Its really that good, yes its a wii game, so this is my score taking into account the motion controls BTW.

For the good, man where do i start. Its BEAUTIFUL for a wii game and esp for a post team silent game, the graphics are nice and Constsitent, the environments are pretty and it has a pretty nice cold color pallet to contrast the warmer tones the series tends to skew towards. The acting and intrgrige are all on point and the WRITING is fantastic, its one of those games you play the first time not knowing the twist and play the second time picking up more and more clues and things that strengthen that twist so much more. Like sh2 its a simple story told in such a clever and interesting way that you'll probably be too invested to put it down, I beat it in one sitting in 6 hours bc i was so engrossed in the narrative. And the Puzzles man! The puzzles are phenomenal and fun to accomplish and there's even a little bit of variety in a few places on repeat playthroughs. The level of detail in this game is insane really, the things that change with the different psychology answers are pretty cool too and tho it all plays out relatively the same its still fun to see the different things you can get to happen. The gimmicks like the phone as an object, taking pictures, sneaking and zooming in, they're not too intrusive as to take away from the exploration or other game play but not completely useless and have some pretty fun Easter eggs too. The game plays sort of like a worse outlast with good puzzles and for that I do have to commend it. Oh and the fucking MUSIC is INCREDIBLE idk something ab this soundtrack has alot of heart put into it clearly.

Now, it's not perfect. The thing is, it is a WORSE outlast type game, in the running and hiding sense but well, the hiding is completely useless, its a run away game, which is ok, but I understand that people aren't gonna be a big fan of that when silent Hill has always balanced combat ad puzzles and exploration. The running segments are..aggravating, mostly bc its hard to figure out where to go, not to mention using motion controls that don't like to work half the time to fight the monsters off of you. Also, the monsters are not scarey in the slightest and the raw shock scream is actually enragaging if you've died one to many times, there's also...not really any penalty for dying. And once you're out for these running segments,there's no danger, no monsters, nothing to hide from despite having a hiding mechanic. Its not really a horror game more of a psycological thriller and I understand that the fact that its not horror can be disappointing. The psychology things might be a bit overhyped And yeah fine, the wii foreplay scene...well yeah its weird but it IS also funny as fuck.

That said, there's still alot thats good and alot thas unfair criticism lobbed at this game. Harry didn't have much of a personality in sh1 bc he's a ps1 character and sm really fleshed him out well, not to mention giving cybil some nice characterization, and they did some interesting things with dahlia and kaufmann. And Lisa.. well I'm gonna be honest I never found Lisa all that interesting in sh1..so it doesn't bother me that she's the way she is in this game. I know people hate the "horny" aspect of it but to be completely fair, YOU choose to make the game that way, don't answer in a sexual manner or look at boobs or anything else and you won't have an overly sexual game, its...literally that easy. Its given as an option for the play id they want to go for what is arguably another joke ending. (You cannot tell me sleeze and sirens is meant to be a real serious ending to the game. Cmon) and you can complain about the innacuuracies if you want but its a spin off, a retelling of the original game. Its not canon, and it didn't change the original game. It just took the ideas presented there and made them more human and lest fantastical, there's some supernatural elements but it takes a backseat to the human moments. And its honestly really cool.

Overall, great game, i reccomend it if you don't mind some slight jank with the motion controls and honestly? Look up directions on where to go for the running segments and you'll have a pretty good time overall.

Silent Hill Downpour

Overall score (so far): 7.5/10 *to be noted i haven't finished actually playing it yet but I know the basic plot and some of the details so I doubt it'll change

And so for the final silent Hill Game, I have to say, i don't think it deserves NEARLY the hatred it gets, there's alot about it that i find really cool and even fun and I think its a solid entry, a little better than origins in some parts and its downsides are both unfortunate and once again, mostly Konami's fault . That said, I'm also not gonna kid and say its a good game, just that I like it alot and we should be nicer to the last silent Hill game were probably ever gonna get.

Downpour has a pretty good, original story overall, there's alot to it, alot of intricacies and intrigue to it that honestly make it a pretty sold silent Hill game. Its different enough from the others to stand out but not super far removed from its themes and messages. I like that it doesn't try and lean into the cult aspect and tries to do something else with it, it doesn't try to explain silent Hill, but just use it to torment the characters, as it should be. There's tragedy ad human feelings here and some of them aren't the most...sensitive but they are pretty reasonable reactions id say. Playing as someone who's odds are stacked against him from the beginning as he's a prisoner is a cool way to open the game, someone convicted and you must discover if he is a good person or not. Themes of revenge explored more than in sh3 which is pretty cool. The environments look pretty nice, and i like the look of the otherworld, once again being unique with its cooler color pallet, but without the ice so it really feels like its own thing. The EXPLORATION is awesome with an actual open world which I think works well, there's alot to do in town (unlike sh1 and 0 on limiting hardware and 2 which just pretends you can explore to town but you cant) there's alot for cool little stories and sidequests to do, my favorite so far being the cinema (which has a section of ACTUAL fixed cameras like old Resident evils which is smth SH has never done and its super fucking cool!) And all the sidequess help strengthen murphy as a cheacter and argue for his innocence or complexites. The weapons system is pretty cool, picking up items and attacking with whatever you might find, finding cool Easter eggs with exploration and having fun noticing things. And it does honestly have the strongest side characters outside of SM. The puzzles are pretty solid and fun to figure out with some cool mechanics and the seperate difficulties is a great thing to bring back (actually done well like sh3) I also kind of like the method of triggering the night world/rain/monsters, and silent Hill really feels likes its constantly punishing Murphy, as it should. The music might not be Akira but its still pretty damn good, and fuck yall I like the Korn song, and you CAN press start and skip it yknow. (Thx tomm hewlit)

The negtitives tho, well they are there. For one it has the worst performance of any sh game outside of pc homecoming and like...the hd collection, the framerate like to shit itself alot lmao, its not usually detrimental bc I've played re2r with similar framerates but, yeah its not great. Not to mention while the models look better than hc they don't animate well or often at all, and the game has trouble loading in the models as fast as they should. The sound mixing could use...some work too, poor murph sounds like he's eating the mic. While I find the games exploration really fun, murphy also has the issue of not running very fast so it can be a little annoying to get back to a place you want to be when you can't run that fast, not to mention the loading times. The monster design is def the worst in the series, maybe on par w SM. Which is disappointing bc there's some pretty good moments here and there, but not nearly enough to make it scary and there's so much you can do with monsters with this premise. Also, the running sections in the otherworld are better than SM ad even more engaging than the brief ones in 2 and 3, but still, I'd prefer to do puzzles or fight a boss or smth. I will also say, the endings are, iffy while the main 2 endings are really good and Anne's bad ending as well as the joke ending are great, murphys bad endings are weird and ooc for the muphy you come to know in the game (even more so than Origins) plus, idk that the writers knew all that much about prison andbprison culture, nobody in a real prison would be mad ab Murphy killing a pedo (there's some racist implications here and there too which is. Unfortunate and disappointing. I like Howard and Robbie but they are a bit tropey, esp Howard) that said Anne is a compelling albeit unlikable character and thas pretty cool to see pulled off.

Overall, while it has downsides, I don't think Downpour is worthy of all the scorn it gets, this can have problems and you can point them out without disregarding the good parts and while it is unfortunate it doesn't run better and have some extras and didn't handle some things great, I still think its worth a playthrough, esp if you go out of your way to do the sidequests.

Bonus round

Book of memories is not a game I intend to play bc I don't wanna get a vita and can't imagine I'm missing much. It doesn't look bad pwr say but I'm not interested tbh

Fuck PT. :)

#entries #silent hill #long post #thank u thank you #ill try tk put a cut in here at some poitn hold on srry

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blue-bird-kny · 5 years ago

Note

This is my first time requesting, sorry if it’s a bit unorganized. I’d like to request a soulmate AU in which you can taste whatever your soulmate is eating with Nemi. If possible, the reader is tired of tasting ohagis so they eat bitter melon to piss him off. This is on your choice to write but if you do, thank you so much!

This request was too cute to pass up so thank you and enjoy!~Amanda (Image creds to artist)

Warning: Language

( 1k+ words)

“Touches and Taste Buds”

Over the years, you’ve learned to hate the taste of red bean paste. It’s not because it isn’t delicious, because it most definitely is, but because your damn soulmate seemed to only enjoy that one flavor. At first, when you began tasting the same things as your soulmate, you thought it was so cool how you both shared the same taste buds. As time passed though, every time your mouth filled with the taste of red bean paste, you wanted to kill whoever was doing this to you.

They ate it at all times of day and it was infuriating. Even though they’ve ruined the sweet taste of Ohagi, you’ve always been very patient with them. However patients could only last so long and yours was beginning to wear thin. Sometimes you wondered if others had as much trouble with their soulmates, if they too had such a monotonous eater that drove them crazy.

“I swear once we meet, I’m going to make you eat every damn thing this world has to offer before you eat Ohagi again” you always vowed to yourself. Clearly your soulmate wasn’t aware that other food groups existed. It felt as though they rarely ate anything else

It’s been a very long, strenuous day of training with Gyomei. He’d taken you under his guidance in order to make you a better demon slayer, but he was one tough mentor. The demon slayer headquarters had a mess hall of sorts, a place where demon slayers who weren’t on call could come and eat freely. “I’m so hungry I could eat their kitchen clean” you rubbed your growling stomach as you filled your plate with the various foods they had spread out.

You decided to sit alone; you weren’t necessarily a social person as is, but especially now all you needed was a nice, warm meal. You raised the spoonful to your lips, mouth watering, “nothing could ruin this”.

You thought too quickly because just as the spoon reached your mouth, the familiar taste of Ohagi filled your taste buds. You dropped your food on your plate, gagging as the taste seemed to overwhelm your senses. “I’ve had enough! Just who do they think they are!” you bitterly thought as you gathered all your tools of torture and revenge.

You rubbed your hands together evilly as you decided on which food you’d eat first. In front of you neatly lay your means of revenge; a cup of vinegar, some bitter melon, and a spicy pepper you’d managed to find.

“Okay let's start small” you grabbed the cup of vinegar, bringing it up to your lips almost like it was a shot. You squirmed as its sour taste crawled over your skin and burned your throat. It was gross, you couldn't deny that, but if somewhere in this world your soulmate was tasting it too, it was worth it.

Next, you picked up a slice of the bitter melon. You griminced as you fiddled with the food; its crunchy outside contrasting its soft, water-like inside. “In the name of revenge” you thought as you bit the nasty food. You held onto the table for support as you swallowed, breathing deeply to compose yourself. There was some sort of commotion happening some tables behind you, but you ignored it, assuming it was some group of idiots messing around.

Finally you reached the spicy pepper. You were actually less nervous about this one because, unlike your soulmate, you ate a variety of food, especially spicy food. You placed the peppers tip between your teeth, chomping down on the vegetable. You marveled at the crunch it made as you chewed, the heat already beginning to spread over your tongue and lips, causing an almost numbing sensation.

“What the hell is wrong with that bitch?!” someone yelled behind you. You turned to find the wind Hashira, his cheeks red and his tongue hanging outside of his mouth. “What's his problem?” you thought as you watched the angry man throw a fit. Your mouth became dry as you noticed something on the floor; when Sanemi had stood up, he knocked his plate of food on the floor, balls of Ohangi scattered everywhere.

“Holy Shit, it's you” the words slipped from your mouth before you could even stop them. Sanemi noticed your blant starring and growled “The fuck you looking at!”. You stood on quivering legs, gently picking up your cup of water as you walked to the infuriated man. He was almost frightening like this, eyes crazed and fuming, not to mention he was taller than you.

“Here you go, this should help with the spice” you lifted the cup as an offering, almost as an apology. He snached it without a word, downing the whole thing in a few hard gulps. He slammed the now empty cup on the table, breaking it. All eyes fell on you two, him staring at you murderously and you staring right back at him defiantly. “I will fucking kill you all” he threatened the room, causing everyone to go back to their meals. “Hey!” you yelled as he pulled you by your collar outside where there were less people, “You’re coming with me” his voice was low and tense.

Outside he released you, staring down at you “You must be the idiot that did that to me so what the hell’s your problem?” he crossed his arms over his chest, fully expecting an answer. “Excuse me I’m not an idiot, I’m your soulmate. And what the hell is YOUR problem, always eating Ohagi. The taste alone makes me want to gag!” you retorted.

“You shit-head! You did all this just because I eat Ohagi? Unbelievable”

“You know what I’ve had a long day and you already ruined my dinner, I’m leaving” you didn’t want to deal with his bullshit tonight, so you left. “Fuck this!” he yelled and walked in the opposite direction. His ears were red and his heart was racing, but it wasn’t from the spicy pepper.

That night, Sanemi couldn’t sleep. Every ounce of him hated to admit it, but you did things to him. He wasn’t stupid; he knows what it means when someone causes your heart to beat quickly. It was different from when he was in battle, you didn’t cause his heart to beat like that, but instead you caused it to soar. Nobody has ever stood up to him like that, with such power and determination; it was hot.

The next day, you woke up staved. Leaving your room, you tried to get some food before there were too many people. Inside, you made your way to get food only to be stopped by a rough hand. “Excuse me-” you started as you saw Sanemi standing in front of you, it was too early for his bullshit. “Here” he rushed, shoving a plate of food in your face. Surprisingly it held all your favorites, “I remember tasting this so I figured that's what you ate” he muttered, his face was turned away from yours but you knew he was blushing. You smiled, gratefully accepting the plate “Thank You”.

“Whatever” he turned to leave but you stopped him, pulling lightly on his haori. “I can’t eat all this food by myself you know” you said, silently urging him to stay. He thought for a second, would it be so bad? He decided it wouldn’t and sat down at the nearest table, he gestured for you to sit “Well?”. You couldn’t help but laugh at his abrasiveness, in a way, it was cute. He grabbed a stem of grapes off your plate, popping them into his mouth one by one.

You two sat there talking for a while, the room empty and food long gone. Sanemi knew it was unlike himself to be so complacent and open with another person, but you made him feel comfortable and at ease; it was nice. “You know you’ve really ruined Ohagi for me” you commented, the two of you needed to get going, you both had jobs to do after all. “Well you do know how soulmates get rid of their taste bud connection, right? He smirked. Your breath was caught in your throat as he moved closer to you, his arm gripped your waist as he towered over you. “It happens when their tongues touch” he whispered teasingly. Warmth spreads over your cheeks and down your neck, your breathing sped up at this intimate position. Regaining your senses, you pushed his face away in embarrassment, “Sanemi you idiot!” you called walking away. Sanemi laughed as he knew you didn’t mean it. He also knew you two would meet again. After all, you hated the taste of Ohagi and he happened to have a strong craving for the both of you.

Main Masterlist

Idk why but the idea that there is a cafeteria in the demon slayers HQ is so funny to me, I had to include it. Anyways, I hope you all liked it, please read my other works if you did. Stay safe~Amanda

#kny x reader #kimetsu no yaiba #kny #demon slayer #demon slayer x reader #sanemi x reader #shinaguzawa sanemi #sanemi #kny sanemi #kny writing

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qwirk · 4 years ago

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*vigilantes ch. ~64 and main manga ch. ~255 spoilers*

although idk if these are really spoilers if these chapters came out a couple years ago! anime-only fans beware. anyway here’s my extremely long rant about the obvious, not trying to explain anything- i gotta yell!

so that vigilantes arc destroyed me! i’m not good at immediately putting thoughts about media into coherent points but i’m just so sad :( first of all after catching up with the main manga, shirakumo, despite being technically dead during his introduction, rocketed up to one of my favorite if not my favorite character. aizawa is also up there for me- he was first introduced as this strict teacher who seemed to psychologically torment his students for the fun of it, or at least for some yet unknown ulterior motive. but we now know that, while still kinda harsh, he does this to give his students that lead-dropping-in-the-pit-of-your-stomach rush in order to push them to succeed (or something like that?). he truly cares about his students and their growth which has been demonstrated multiple clear times. but what drives him to be like this??

shirakumo!! his actions today are a clear answer to the pushes shirakumo gave him back when they were students. they’re so obviously influenced by shirakumo that they’re almost literally answers. the main chapters are a little foggy because i speedread them at 3 am, but i just caught up with vigilantes.

at the start, aizawa sees himself as someone who’s constantly just behind and will stay there as everyone moves on. he trudges into class drenched after leaving the kitten behind and he’s super emo about it. meanwhile, shirakumo literally flies through the window, also drenched, saved not only the kitten but aizawa’s umbrella, and manages to put on this cheery (albeit borderline explicit) show about it. it’s a CLEAR contrast between the two and aizawa goes as far to say that he hasn’t reached his “true self yet” while he looks at shirakumo and then says that he starts to change.

as if it’s not enough for aizawa to beat himself up mentally, his classmates bring him down for not having a “heroic” enough quirk. shirakumo is constantly stepping in to bring him back up, even during real work study stuff, and goes as far to lend him a pair of his goggles so that his eyes become more useful. this becomes a stronger bonding point between aizawa, shirakumo, and hizaishi for them to start looking to the future together. while wearing those goggles, which are protecting his sight from the strong winds on the roof, he stares into the sky, feeling like he’s getting swept into the future like the clouds in the wind. (also the clouds as a metaphor. damn)

and then we come to the last fight. everyone that aizawa looks up to is crushed in the wake of the villain, and he’s the last one standing. there’s a group of children to protect, and he’s panicking and drowning in his overthinking. the way he’s given a huge panel to himself only to be visually overwhelmed by his thought bubbles stood out to me. and then the thing that snaps him out is shirakumo’s voice cheering him on. it’s a bunch of simple praise, but it means everything in the situation. the friend who’s been pulling him up no matter how hopeless or apathetic aizawa feels is of course the one to spur him into action in a life-or-death situation. aizawa realizes he’s gotta fight immediately, and even reminds himself of exactly what shirakumo told him- that his quirk IS useful and levels the playing field.

i was already kinda spoiled for this part since i read the main manga first, but hearing shirakumo’s cheering the entire time while aizawa is absolutely toiling to defeat this huge villain would have been touching regardless. and when he lands in triumph, hurting but victorious, he screams for his friend to hear that he did it!! but then you see this joy start to like. rot away as soon as it pans to kayama and hizaishi. it’s raining again (THE CLOUDS AS A METAPHOR! DAMN!). shirakumo’s corpse is lying feet away from him, staining the medics’ sheet with blood. i don’t have much to say about this part, it was just a lot for me to process!! also i’m still not entirely sure about the way his speaker works so i might be wrong here, but did he really spend his dying moments with a traumatic head injury cheering on his friend to not only beat the immediate danger, but to self-realization?? or maybe it was prerecorded? idk but either way, truly a hero.

aizawa and hizaishi are left standing in the rain because once again, “it fits the mood.” so obviously there’s the callback to when aizawa first said that when he comes to class after leaving the kitten and i have yet to fully comprehend it because i have no braincells for interpreting media. i guess maybe it’s like- aizawa at first felt terrible for not being able to save even a kitten while being enrolled in the most prestigious hero course in the country. getting drenched while settling with (what he considers to be) a cowardly measure is the icing to the cake for his self-hatred. it’s the classic “this might as well happen” scenario to get soaked by random rain or a car splashing you with a puddle on a bad morning. rain is sad. but in comes shirakumo, equally drenched but still the bright light that he is. he’s also done everything aizawa couldn’t but wanted to and more in this situation. he could do it not just because of his storing quirk, but because he held the life of someone who needed saving more important than the school rules. this decorum lets the kitten slide as it makes itself at home in the classroom. the rain stops soon after. but then you have shirakumo’s death. once again, aizawa, and even hizaishi, who’s usually always upbeat (almost every panel of him was just him screaming YEAHHHHH. plz give him more dialogue) both agree that the pouring rain fits the mood. this also brings us back to the present that preceded the flashback- koichi just rescued a cat and a child from a villain with aizawa’s help, and now they’re standing under an awning to escape the rain. this situation is literally almost exactly what happened at the beginning of the flashback which is why i guess it brought it on, but it’s interesting to see what changed- aizawa is the one who’s learned from this situation and teaching the student the meaning of responsibility (using an abandoned cat as an example, no less), and they’re all properly shielded from the elements this time. i guess the conclusion (that could be totally wrong) i’m coming to is that the rain sort of represents the adversaries aizawa faces in life- his self-deprecation, those that don’t believe in him, his personal failures that he has been facing lately. shirakumo has always been there to guide him past it, and once he lifts up aizawa nothing can shake him again. but now that he’s definitively gone, it’s back to haunt him for this one last moment of sheer grief. it’s only this one moment though, as aizawa clearly uses this moment to move on and better himself not just for his sake, but for everyone counting on him. he’s escaped the rain.

it’s so clear how this manifests in the main manga and i’m so happy vigilantes was able to spin out such a good backstory and explanation for his actions!! one of the most immediate ways we see his ideals stand out is his taking in of shinsou as his apprentice from general studies. it’s absolutely because he sees himself in this boy. he has a quirk that’s seemingly useless once you get into combat and everyone thinks he’s a creep for it. more people might even wary around shinsou than aizawa’s case. during the a vs. b practice fights, shinsou explains what he did wrong, clearly upset at himself for not doing enough. aizawa immediately pulls himself up, reminding him that in order to achieve what he just said, he’d have to be a pro, and that what he managed was more than enough. these parallels between aizawa and shinsou are definitely hinted at in the main story, like when midoriya underestimate’s his prowess in combat at usj, but with the vigilantes arc everything is so much clearer. in the main manga, we get a direct reference of aizawa’s expulsion rate in relation to how it helps students grow when they face “’death’” as he’s interrogating kurogiri. though dramatic, i feel like it has to be linked to the dire situation aizawa faced when the pro heros and shirakumo got knocked out during that one fight because of its placement in the chapter. he understands better than most in the story that a lot of times pushes, whether big or small, are needed to grow. he wants to be to his students what shirakumo was to him.

OK EDIT because i didn’t realize there was more to the arc after 64 lol. so obviously after shirakumo dies aizawa’s and hizaishi’s dreams of starting a triple hero agency have been dashed. aizawa seems to distance himself from hizaishi, or at least they’re on uneasy speaking terms. he’s coping by training super hard and is bent on going solo after graduation, the opposite of what they had all planned. but this time, he has conviction on what he’s going to do with himself, and that’s great! he learns that you have to be there for yourself in life. there’s a small montage leading from graduation to where is now in vigilantes and it’s been hard, but he’s been making it. still a lone wolf as ever, aside from the pushes from kayama to become teachers with her and hizaishi at ua. he thinks doing that would be a stupid choice for him, he’s been alone this whole time and doesn’t work well with others (anymore, he thinks). but now that he’s in the cafe with everyone, he changes seeing everyone fawn over the cat but their new dreams of being a popular cat cafe.

the impact of seeing their newfound hope brings him back to another flashback of the rooftop trio, and THE PARALLELS!!! of them also dreaming to start their hero agency based on their first rescue of sushi the cat. back in the present, aizawa, who’s been spacing off, suddenly realizes the sky and his mind have cleared (THE CLOUDS KEEP COMING BACK AS A METAPHOR!!! if this happens in the main story i’ll cry). i’m still not 100% sure of what exactly makes the dots connect for him, but it’s been hinted through the flashbacks and his reactions to the rescued cat that he’s actually a good teacher himself, though he had been mainly shown to have learned from others around him. he drilled husbandry requirements into shirakumo and interrogated koichi about responsibility as if they were second nature. i think aizawa realized that he’s actually always had a soft spot for watching people grow and do good things and wants to be a part of facilitating that. or at least because he wasn’t able to accomplish doing good with his friends originally, he wants to help other accomplish the goal he couldn’t. also the fact that kayama still sends him updates on sushi isn’t just really nice of her, but it’s also another representation of how aizawa’s convictions he developed as a student still drive him to do what he does today.

MY MAIN POINT IS: aizawa really loves shirakumo. to have so much of his character based in the lessons he purposefully or inadvertently taught him is an amazing testament to that appreciation. aizawa never emotes except for the occasional creepy smile when he psychologically toys with 1a, but the emotion he displayed during the interrogation really caught me by surprise. the apathetic emo character suddenly being truly happy or sad is a cliche but this panel right fucking here was so powerful to me:

yeah his eyes are always bloodshot as a trademark to his quirk, but the emotional EXHAUSTION written on his face is so starkly different than his usual boredom. this feeling that horikoshi illustrates in two small panels is so human that it’s instantly recognizable deep in our hearts. we’ve all been in those heavy and direly serious moments that wrack our mental and emotional fortitudes, where the only response manageable without hideously breaking down is some subtle motion of the hand or crinkle of the face. we all know what this means without understanding the japanese onomatopoeia or needing additional dialogue. before i read vigilantes, i still immediately understood what this man meant to aizawa. and that’s why i love shirakumo so much!! we all know at least a little how aizawa used to feel as a student, and to have someone constantly pushing you and acting as such a light in your moments of darkness is something so incredibly special. i really hope they’re able to get him out of his nomu state so those three can finally become heros together :’)

god!!!!!!!!!!

#bnha #mha #bnha vigilantes #mha vigilantes #aizawa shouta #eraserhead #oboro shirakumo #loud cloud #phew i haven't written something like this in YEARS #mod

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roscgcld · 4 years ago

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JJK manga spoilers at the undercut! long tanget at the undercut!

(Continued for the storytelling!) Okay so 👀 in a very tragic turn of events where Gojo tries to Yuta-style his way out of the Prison Realm, but it goes oopsies and he's actually 'dead' dead and MC stares in disbelief at what she's seeing because this can NOT be real, oh but I'm sorry it is. And this is the one thing, the image of his best friend lying dead in front of him, that gives Geto much longer control over his body and he crawls over to Gojo and his hands are shaking.

(Part 2) He's clawing at himself to wake up from this nightmare to no avail. Nothing will change what's happened and MC flips, kicks him in the face, grabs him by his clothes and slams him onto the nearest surface yelling about how "is this what it takes for you to finally snap out of it?!" why couldn't he have done it sooner??! MC is filled with rage. That's not Geto. She knows it's not Geto, but she's just so angry from her warped sorrow and tells him that even though he changed so much.

(Part 3) and did all those things as a Curse User, she still grieved for him. She missed him so freaking much, dreaming of what could be with all of them together. She hated the fact he had to die because of those actions, and now??? What good is snapping out of it now when she knows she'll have to kill him again because the real Geto already died once before and once she ends the life of whatever is controlling him, the remnents of Suguru will die out again as well. Shes losing them both again.

(Part 4) "What went wrong those 11 years ago??!" They're both such idiots, she thinks, crying furiously. Stupid mistakes, stupid actions. What was Satoru thinking? Why would he try something like that? Why couldn't they have communicated better, why did all those little things have to add up until they got to this point, something that never should've happened? The pain and the sorrow, the hammering of her heart and difficulty breathing is too much. "I can't live in a world without Satoru."

(Part 5) And Suguru looks so sad, and he tries to tell her it's the real him- she knows, tells her that he's sorry. Tries to crawl over back to Satoru's corpse, MC tells him bluntly that he better not lose control as she lets him while keeping a careful eye on him, she won't let Satoru get hurt if the Thing takes over again. She can see in between his words and mumbling to his friend's corpse that he's fighting, and fighting even more once he tells her the name of what's controlling him.

(Part 6) "Kenjaku." He pleads with her, crying out her name to listen as he says. The Thing was after the Six Eyes, with Satoru dead another will be born, but a baby cannot replace The Strongest, the Honored One, (oh how she knows, Satoru was all she had left.) What he asks of her, is impossible. She cannot defile his body in such a way. To take out his eyes, replace her own with them. Her body is compatible to different cursed energies, like moldable clay, and with Shoko's healing.

(Part 7) the transplant has a chance of working flawlessly. She hates it. Satoru is worth more than his stupid powers, but Suguru is trying hard to fight Kenjaku twisting his tongue and silencing his voice, he's croaking out desperately, that if she wants everyone to live, for all her friends to live and defeat The Thing then she must. The Six Eyes have always been its worst enemy. She cannot let that power die out when the world needs it for salvation. She agrees.

(Part 8) She apologies. For kicking him in the face. It's fine, Suguru says, he's forgives it, and he knows it was somewhat deserved. Its time now, they know what needs to be done. It's over quick and easy, one shot through his heart, and not a trace of blood drops to the ground, the wound seared shut from the heat of her attack. The only traces of Suguru Geto that remains on this earth are the bloodstains miles away from here in Shibuya, at the Tomb of the Star, where destiny was destroyed.

(Part 9) Before she ends it all, she makes a wish. If they were to be reborn again, it'd be nice if they could find each other once more and make sure everything goes right. Suguru had smiled when she let her technique go. He too, had promises to keep. "Say hello to Satoru in heaven for me." She forces a smile on her own face, tears having not yet dried. No use holding onto her rage as she takes away Suguru's life. That shouldn't be the last thing he sees.

(Part 10) She'll have to comfort herself with this, that they were at least together now. She hopes they can rest peacefully, it'll be the only kind thing given to them at this point. It'd been far too long and they deserve that rest so long overdue from the harsh tales their birth had woven into them. (Reaching for Gojo's eyes feels like betrayal. Note: I want that one line to be a total opposite of another line earlier on in their fight where she says, "Well then, come dance with me in hell!")

(Part 11) when fake!Geto probs said something about sending her there as a farewell or goodbye or whatever, idk haven't worked that bit out yet lol. It's so I can contrast the change in her negative mindset to being much calmer, to think of something more positive for those two. That 'that's' where they'll be. Suguru isn't the kind of evil Kenjaku is. It's the final acknowledgement and fully giving up her hatred.) Omg this is so long, I'm sorry. I hope its enjoyable at least??? *hearts and hugs*

Lol whoops, I forgot to mention but MC also kinda slaps Suguru after kicking him in the face and it's that moment of being stunned that lets her grab him, it's good that the "real" Geto doesn't fight back because geez Kenjaku controlling him is way too strong, a long-distance fighter and a great martial artist. At least then it's easier to get him in a chokehold and try to rip off the stitches hiding that cowardly brain.

Idk why but I think it’s cause I have no idea who your MC is that I am not really following lol. And I am not that great with canon material, but I am sure that Gege has mentioned that there isn’t much of Suguru left in his body. Cause even though his technique and his heart and all is there, I think the brain (or Kenjaku)’s power is to not only take over the host, but also shape themselves around the core of the host’s spirit. So in general it’s kinda like Mahito?

But I guess I enjoyed it? Idk it’s a lot, I can’t process much of it because I think I am too in the dark of your MC, but I also enjoy the entire thing? Idk, I am a mess of how I should feel cause I can barely process the entire Shibuya Arch lol.

Also does that mean that the Gojo clan does not have a head anymore? How is that going to work? Or are they going to take her in as the new head? Wouldn’t the world’s axis shift too cause because she isn’t the original owner of the Six Eyes. She doesn’t know how to use his Technique - I am assuming she is a no name before she took his eyes. Doesn’t that mean that open up an entire new Arch in your timeline as it is?

Honestly, now that I look over it again, there is so much going on that I am surprised that there are people out there with such rainbow brains to be able to think of something as insane as this. There is so much detail that it kinda blows my mind lol.

But I love that you shared so much cool ideas with me, anon! if you ever write this, do tag me so that i can read. or tag me in your entire MC timeline - I would love to explore this even more!

#roscgcld rants #jjk spoilers #jjk manga #jjk manga spoilers #jjk anime

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