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the-kr8tor · 1 year ago

Text

Threadbare

Pairing: Hobie Brown x fem! Reader/ Spider-Punk x fem! Reader

Word count: 5.5k

Tags: use of Y/N sparsely, no specific physical description of the reader (except for their clothing), CW panic attack, injury mention, insecurity, food mention, R has nicknames, angst, fluff.

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CHAPTER 4 >>> CHAPTER 5

Your feet hurt, toes aching inside your chucks. You should've worn something comfier. Raising your tired legs a few inches away from the concrete, thinking the elevated position might help with relieving your strained muscles. You sit dejected near the river, disappointed that you couldn't find a flat for Hobie. Your back aches from the not so comfortable metal bench. Your lashes flutter against the cold gust of wind, making you hug your coat tighter around your torso.

Hobie plops next to you, a water bottle in hand. He groaned when he finally got to sit after hours of standing and walking around.

He raises a curious brow "what are you doing? Are you about to take a dive in the river or somethin'?" Hobie points at your lifted legs.

"My feet hurt" you hold your hand out towards the bottle, he hands it to you wordlessly. "Thanks, you drank?" Shaking the half full bottle, Hobie leans against the back of the bench, head lolling off the edge, his long arms spread out over the back of the bench.

"Yeah" he sighs, eyes closed, the sun's rays hitting his face, painting him in a heavenly light.

Taking a sip of water, you glance at him, his loose tank top peeking from under his leather jacket, clavicle on full display. You almost choke on water when you see his adam's apple bop up and down. You cough harshly, Hobie perks up, patting your back as you cover your mouth with your hand, heat on your cheeks.

"The fuck happened?" He asks, half concerned, half teasing.

You happened, you wanted to say, coughing louder, Hobie sits up, still patting your back.

"Maybe you should drink some water," Hobie smirks.

"Funny" you say in between coughs, tears in your eyes. You inhale and exhale, your coughing fit stops almost immediately. You sniff, murmuring a small goddamnit.

Hobie cups your cheek, wiping at the stray tear that managed to escape your eye. "Maybe someone was thinking of you, that's why you choked" me, it was me, I was thinking of you. He almost blurted out.

You lean into his touch before he takes his warm hand back. "Why in the world would they be thinking of me?" You look at your watch, "at three pm on a sunday of all days?"

"Why wouldn't anyone think of you?" He manages to blurt this one out, his eyes widening for a second, you look at him dumbfounded, hope blossoming in your chest. "you probably owe them money" he plays his first comment off, managing to stay cool even though he was slightly panicking. Your shoulders slump in disappointment, deciding to just ignore the first sentence.

"Shit, you're right I think I still owe Ned twenty pounds. Remind me to pay him before he leaves for Richmond" you lightly push him with your shoulder.

"Sure, I'll definitely remember that" Hobie sarcastically says.

You sigh, staring into the water, you watch as a boat sails by. Hobie notices your drop in mood when you mentioned Ned, he sometimes forgets you're also friends with him, knowing him for years now.

"Gromit, he'll be fine, yeah? He's all grown up, we taught him a lot" He taps your foot with his. You look at him, a frown on your lips.

"You make it sound like he's our kid, and he's leaving the nest"

"Weird way to put it, love" A smile slowly growing on his lips.

"Shut up, you started that weird comparison first, I'm just imitating you" you chuckle, you smile slowly fading away "it's just that–" you look at him, staring and waiting. You wish you brought Terry with you, you find that speaking through him is much easier. "It's nothing"

"Nah, you can tell me." He inches closer to you, the back of his hand on his leg, palm waiting for you.

You gaze down at his hand, fingers itching to hold him, "He's been with you for a long time, Hobs. Even though you've moved from band to band, he's always been your bassist, *always"

"People will always move on. Can't do anything to stop them, sometimes you just gotta wish 'em well" he ducks his head to meet your downturned gaze. "We can always visit him, Richmond's only an hour away"

"That's not what I meant, Hobie" you finally reach for his hand, squeezing it.

"I know what you mean" He holds your hand like it's the most precious thing in the world. "We can't stop their progress just because we don't want them to leave" he squeezes your hand. "People will leave, I've accepted that a long time ago"

"And yet I'm still here" you move closer to him, leg right next to his jean covered ones.

"And yet you're still here" Hobie chuckles despite this, he's never been more afraid of the possibility of having the same conversation with you except you'll be the one leaving him.

You grin at him, lacing your fingers together with his, afraid of letting him go. He sticks to you like a web, pulling you towards his chest, a warm hand on your nape. You cling to him like a spider would, arms enveloping him completely, you both feel the same thing, Home.

Electricity passes through you when Hobie presses a featherlight kiss over the crown of your head, as fast as it comes down it fades mere seconds later when Hobie pulls away from you, hand staying a few seconds longer on your head.

You sniff, blinking away the tears gathering in your eyes. "We still haven't found you a place. Maybe I could hide you in my dorm until we find one?"

"Your RA's a bloodhound, I'm sure she can sniff me out the second I get there" He acts nonchalantly, a comforting arm over your shoulder. You lean back into his arm, his knuckles brushing over your coat. "We've got plenty of time, deadline to leave isn't until after your show, so we're still good"

"Maybe the last place we looked at isn't too bad?"

"Their bathroom had stairs leading down towards the shower, the place is a bloody deathtrap" he scoffs.

"Yeah, I guess slipping and falling on your ass isn't so punk of you" you try to use reverse psychology on Hobie.

"That's not gonna work," a small canal boat floats idly right in front of the bench, "besides they don't allow pets"

"You don't even have a pet" the boat honks loudly, you two ignore it.

"How are you gonna visit me then?" Hobie smirks playfully.

You jab him on his chest with your finger, "Dickhead"

"You got a new insult? Just call me a wanker next time" He pinches your arm, you yelp, poking him some more.

"You wanker" you jokingly glare at him, he finds it adorable, resisting the urge to peck the smirk off of your lips.

He goofily smiles at you, "There you go" his words dripping in fondness.

The boat honks longer and loudly, interrupting your banter. Hobie glares at the intrusion, a middle aged man waves at you two from the boat.

"Boat!" He yells out when he finally gets your attention, pointing enthusiastically at his boat. You look at him confused.

Hobie answers for you, "yeah mate, we can see that" he yells, "good for you!" He turns back to you but the man replies, stopping Hobie from continuing your conversation.

The unnamed man shakes his head, "No! Boat for sale!" He says in an accent you can't quite pinpoint.

Hobie's hand sits heavily on your shoulder, but you don't mind, finding it comforting especially after your emotional talk.

"It's a houseboat!" He points at you both "maybe couple interested? It's very cheap!"

"What are we gonna do with a houseboat?" You whisper to Hobie, he looks like he's contemplating. "Hobs?"

"How much?" He yells towards the man.

"Hobie!" You hold his arm, stopping him from going near the boat, "He seems shady" you whisper.

"He seems cool," Hobie shrugs. "Besides, he said it's cheap, better than having stairs in the bathroom." He moves near the water, you barely make out what they're saying, too concerned that you might get murdered on a houseboat of all places.

—

You stay with Hobie inside the Houseboat, it looks worn out but at least there's no holes in it. The floorboards creak with every move of your feet, and the faucet leaks, the sound annoying you with every drip drop of water on the sink. Standing close to Hobie, you hold onto the sleeve of his jacket, eyes wide awake for any danger, making sure you two don't end up on the nightly news.

The houseboat is smaller than the flats you've looked at hours ago, it has a cozy feel to it, from the narra floors to the adorable navy blue kitchenette. Despite it looking a little worn down, you know it's been well loved, with every scratch and indents on the wooden floor, the chipping paint revealing a different color behind it, they all have history, if only walls could talk. Even with all its flaws, the boat looks taken care of, no bugs eating away at its foundation, no rust on the metal finishings, and best of all no water damage in its interior. This could work.

"You can pay it off in installments" the man, you've now learned, is named Finn. He didn't miss the irony of his name, a man named Finn living in a boat, he made a joke about it earlier that you politely laughed at. Finn continues his sales talk with Hobie.

Maybe it's fate, meeting Finn. You don't think you can handle another go at flat hunting, your feet ache just from the thought of it.

He leads you two to the master's bedroom, big enough for a queen's size bed, and a simple cabinet. There's a small window on the side, the late afternoon sun filters through the opening.

"See?" He walks around the room "big enough for the two of you! Your girl will like the cabinet space" he smiles, his thick beard moving when he talks.

You don't correct him, you don't blame the man especially with how you're clinging on to Hobie. You stare at the peeling paint on the walls, there's a dust bunny on the corner of the floor.

Hobie doesn't chide in, listening intently to Finn's sales talk.

"And look! A bedroom with a view, eh?" He gestures towards the small window like he's presenting on stage. "And listen," He knocks on the walls, "Thick walls for a houseboat, perfect for privacy, eh?" He points to you both.

You look at Hobie, stifling a laugh. He stares back at you with a smirk over his lips. Oh not again.

"You sure 'bout that, mate?" He loops his arm over to your waist, rolling your eyes so far back you're sure you could see your brain. He bites back another quip, just in case it might make you uncomfortable.

"Yes! I'll go outside, and you scream as loud as you can, I'll tell you if I can hear you" he skedaddles out of the room, "be right back!" He leaves the boat completely.

"What if he's calling his friends to help murder us?" You ask actually concerned.

"Y/N," he clicks his tongue, "don't judge a book by its cover, besides you got me to protect you"

"You and those skinny arms of yours? We're both dead, Hobs"

You jump when Finn yells through the open window, "These walls are also perfect for when it rains, you can barely hear it!" He says with a huge smile, you think he's actually excited to show you how sound-proofed the place is. "Close the window then you scream, yes?"

Hobie takes a few steps to reach the window closing the glass, for added effect he also closes the curtains, blocking Finn off.

"He could lie and say he didn't hear us" you say, arms over your chest.

Without warning, Hobie yells loudly, you quickly put your hands over your ears. "You ass!" You yell back.

Hobie laughs from his stomach, taking your hands off your ears. You glare at him.

"Don't you dare yell again, I swear, Hobie you almost blew out my eardrums"

"I don't think you need ear drums in the fashion industry" he's still holding your hands, his rings cold against your palms.

"Well I need it" you hear a knocking from the other side of the window. Hobie releases your hands to open it, Finn's smiling face looks back at you. You think Hobie's right, you shouldn't have judged the man so quickly, he's genuinely a jolly person. His huge arms don't help though, the man could strangle you both without breaking a sweat.

"See? I didn't hear a thing!" He taps the shell of his ear, "no interruptions for you two" he laughs, his guffaw reminds you of Santa's laugh.

"Alright bruv, let me talk it out with her, give us a few minutes, yeah?"

"Of course, I'll be outside. I won't be able to hear anything here anyway!" He chuckles, closing the window shut.

You knit your brows, confused. Hobie saunters towards you, hands on his hip. "What do you think?"

"What do I think?" You blink, surprised.

"Yeah, sure the place needs some polishing" he looks at the bright lime green walls of the bedroom, grimacing. "And a coat of paint. It'll be home by then, not to mention this place only costs a year worth of rent. And there's no stairs inside the bathroom"

"And no carpeted floors in the kitchen." You mention one of the places you looked at earlier in the day, "why do you need my input? It's your place"

"Because there's a second bedroom here" your heart skips a beat at what he's implying, smiling bashfully at Hobie. "There's enough space for us both, you could put your sewing machine over there," he points at a corner in the small living room. "Y'know, after you graduate, if you want to" he looks anywhere else except your face.

"Do you want me to?" You say slowly, making sure what you heard from him is real and not what you've imagined in your head several times before.

" 'course, you're my best mate, why wouldn't I want to"

"O-Oh" you try to say it with less sadness in your voice. He is your best friend, why do you sound so dejected at the title?

"There's no asshole landlord that's for sure, just us" he steps closer to you, trying to convince you more, his hand reaching out towards your elbow.

"Yeah, well technically you'll be my landlord" you tease him, playing with a loose thread from the hem of his tank top.

"Fuck off, don't call me that" He scoffs, rolling his eyes at you, "we'll talk about it after you graduate, yeah?" Hobie's thumb traces circles on your elbow.

"Okay. If you really like this place, you should get it" you nod with approval.

"Do you have the card on you?"

"What for?"

"Well, who's gonna help me fix up this place?" A smile curling on his lips.

"Goddamnit, Hobs" you take out the card from your pocket, handing it to him with a huff. "You only have eight left by the way" you would've helped him anyway, if only you weren't so busy with the project you would've given this one for free.

"I know how to count" He punches out a logo, it floats down on the wooden floors that definitely need some polishing. He gives it back to you "c'mon let's not keep the big man waiting, he might start to think we're snogging in here"

"He won't hear us anyway" throwing away your comment, you walk out of the room, acting nonchalant, your hand shakes slightly when you push open the creaky door. Hobie never anticipated that you would say something like that, he stands in the middle of the barren room, dumbfounded.

Hobie follows you after he collects himself. You walk outside, finally breathing in the cool air, you felt stuffy when you were inside. You look at the water while Hobie negotiates with Finn, they've been talking for a while now, so you decided to occupy yourself. A wave hits the side of the boat, almost throwing you overboard if not for you holding onto the sides.

"You alright there, little lady?" Finn asks. Hobie looks over his shoulder, seeing you hold the side with an iron grip. He quickly makes his way over to you, hands already moving you away from the edge.

"Fuckin' hell, I leave you for one minute" he grumbles.

"I'm okay, jeez dad" Hobie walks you back to Finn, Hand securely on your waist.

"You two are adorable! You remind me of my partner and I when we were younger" Finn sighs longingly.

"Is that why you're selling the boat?" You wince at the question you blurted out, "sorry, not my business"

"It's okay, I like talking about him. We're moving back to Amsterdam so I had to sell the boat. We've lived here for fifteen happy years, hope it's the same for you both" He sounded so genuine, a happy smile on his face the entire time he was talking to you. You don't have the heart to correct him on your relationship with Hobie.

You nod, smiling shyly. "That's really sweet of you, thank you, Finn"

"Thanks, mate. Appreciate you" Hobie shakes Finn's hand, sealing the deal.

"I'll send you the papers" Finn's grin turns melancholy, "never thought I'd ever sell this place, take care of her for me, would you?"

"She's in good hands" Hobie lets go of Finn's hand.

"And you two better take good care of eachother," he winks at you both.

—

You sit in front of your sewing machine, it thumps loudly inside your small dorm room, your mannequin is full of different shades of plaid cloth pinned on its sides, you sigh, blinking away the stress and fatigue.

Glancing at your final design, you scowl at it, despite it looking like a carbon copy of Hobie. You can't figure out what's missing in the outfit, you've added a bit more of you in it, but it still doesn't feel like you.

Your mind is cluttered and it shows in your surroundings. Your sketchpad is full of sketches of Hobie, the corkboard in front of you is littered with punk fashion references, polaroids of you and Hobie together, patches, pins and fabric samples. The loud sound of the machine makes your ears twitch, the needle going in and out of the piece you're sewing into.

Someone knocks loudly from the other side of your paper thin walls for the third time that night, they yell at you to keep it down, but you don't stop, have to finish this, you grit your teeth, grip loosening on the fabric, on your peripheral you can see a picture of Hobie smiling at you, clack, clack, your machine whirs. Knock, knock, the knocking persists. Your ears ring, licking your chapped lips, you keep forgetting to exhale. Mrs. Williams' grating voice echoes in your head, or you won't graduate. Ned's voice overlapping with hers, sorry, y/n. On top of all the noise, you try to focus on Hobie's familiar tone, got you, don't worry. You feel the walls closing in on you.

"Shut the fuck up!" Your neighbor knocks loudly, almost toppling over your corkboard.

You almost slip your thumb over the needle, if not for your reflexes your finger would've been a part of the pants you're sewing. Your eyes are blown out, breathing heavily. You're suddenly overwhelmed by everything, your jumper scratches at your skin, toes curling in the cold despite your fluffy socks covering them. A sob escapes you, you dampen it with your hand over your mouth. Shutting your eyes tightly closed, you focus on your breathing, legs involuntarily shaking, tears rolling over your hand. Your heart drums loudly in your chest, as if it could jump out at any second.

It's getting hard to breathe, you feel sick.

Weathering it out for what feels like an eternity, You finally let it all out of your system, chest hurting from the suppressed crying, your eyes are red. You've grown more tired, heaving from the lack of air. You notice the sudden silence, it almost gets you again, tears pricking in your eyes, threatening to spill out.

Coming down from it, you sniff, using your sleeve to clean your tear stained cheeks. You exhale, clearing your throat. Taking the half finished pants from under the sewing machine, cutting off the thread and then grabbing a spare needle from your kit. Your hands are shaking trying to insert the thread inside the tiny hole. Frustrated, you fling the needle and thread over your messy table. The metal clatters on the wooden table.

The mixture of different emotions swirl inside your stomach, wanting to vomit it out, or better yet, grab it by the neck and toss it as far away as you can.

You want to give up. Shaking your head, getting rid of the horrible thought, you can't give up, you have to keep going, you've made it this far, you're almost at the finish line. Thinking of Hobie, he wouldn't give up, but you're not him, you're just you, plain old you. People often wonder how you manage to stay in your major, with your simple button ups, white chucks, and your usual light cardigans, avoiding any bright colors in your wardrobe or other styles that would gather attention. Compared to your style, your classmates' eye-catching looks match with your major, not to mention they're not afraid to flaunt their unique styles.

Sometimes you miss the old you, the young starry eyed y/n, clothes always in full and bright colors, with matching accessories to boot, shoes sparkling in the light. You don't even remember when you buried your old self.

You miss her, wishing you never listened to the opinion of others, wishing that you never cowered behind their judgemental stares. Hobie never did any of that, but you can't help but hide yourself to stop people from their snickering. You sometimes wish to borrow a smidge of Hobie's don't-give-a-shit attitude, but alas the world doesn't work that way.

You suddenly have the urge to seek Hobie's warmth, instead you settle for the next best thing. Sighing, you crawl under the covers, head hitting the pillow. You're not giving up just yet, there's no shame in resting, you won't be able to finish your work like this anyway.

You eye your old cherry earrings, dangling on the side of your mirror, the only piece you kept from your old self. Mind going back to the past. You remember who helped you pick it from the mall, the only thing you could afford with your allowance. You two would always go there after school, window shopping and hunting for the latest trends. This was before you and Hobie became close, your friendship still blossoming.

You wonder how your old friend is doing, maybe you should call him up, ask him for tips, he's always had a better eye for designing ever since you were kids, considering him a protégé, his hand always scribbling away on his sketchbook.

Bringing the covers up to your nose, you close your eyes, trying to remember your old friend's number.

—

You finally hear Hobie's motorbike coming towards the event's place. People stare at the loud intrusion. You snort, knowing that he likes the disturbance he's causing.

You speed walk towards him, just in case he revs up his engine to spite everyone. "Hey, Hobie" You greet him with a tight lipped smile.

He takes off his helmet with a groan "what's this place? A concert or somethin'?" Hobie squints at the spotlights near the entrance.

"You okay? I made you some coffee. You said you lot played last night" you hand him a small thermos.

"That better not be from our starbucks card"

"No, that thing's expired, I brewed this from my good stash"

He turns his engine off, clambering off the motorbike, his heavy boots thudding against the asphalt. He hesitantly grabs the thermos. "No tea?"

"Nope, ran out of them last night" You take a good look at him, he's wearing his signature leather jacket covered in various pins and patches, his jeans a patchwork of cloth and metal accessories. His piercings shine in the moonlight. "Sorry I couldn't come last night, I needed to finish the pants"

"Fuck me, that's actually good" he says after taking a sip, "it's all right, the show was business as usual"

"I didn't miss anything?"

"Nah, missed you though" Hobie loops his arm over your shoulder, walking towards the entrance "Ned missed ya" he added to hide his first comment.

"The real question is, did James miss me too?" You joke, you're not naïve with how the guy manages to stammer every time you talk to him. Only when you talk to him.

"Everyone missed you" he holds you tighter.

"I better come to the next one then" you pinch his side.

Entering the venue, Hobie stops in his tracks, arm loosening off your shoulder.

"Where the fuck did you bring me?" He stares at the pearlescent runway, the sides full of chairs. Photographers and audiences move towards their seats.

"A runway show!" You nervously grin at him.

"Nah, y'know I don't like big brands, this place reeks of capitalism. Thought you wanted to get shawarma" He glares at you.

"We're gonna eat later, hear me out before you start walking away, please" Hobie narrows his eyes at you.

"Go on"

"This is a small brand, a niche fashion house. This event is this big because it's their first major collection. I promise you their clothes are all from sustainable materials and—" Hobie impatiently taps his foot "—and half of the proceeds go to charity! You know we both share the same sentiment when it comes to clothes. My entire wardrobe came from thrift stores and I recycle the fabrics I used on old projects."

"We haven't been in a thrift store in a while" He grumbles out.

"We can go after the show if you want"

"Now you're just bribing me"

You sigh, "I'm in a designing stump right now and I really need the inspiration, but I'm not forcing you, you can go if you really don't want to watch, I'm not gonna hold it against you"

Hobie stares you down, now under better lighting, he notices the bags under your eyes, your lips dry as bones, his annoyance turns into concern. You're stretching yourself too thin, maybe asking you to accompany him in finding a flat wasn't such a good idea. He mentally notes to retract his previous favor from you.

"Alright, you better not be lying about all that shit you said" He walks towards one of the chairs, pulling you by your sleeve.

"I'm not, Danny told me all about it"

He stops mid stride, "who?"

You sit down by the end of the runway, feeling lucky finding a good seat in front. "Danny from school, you don't remember him?" You pat the chair next to you.

"I literally don't remember anyone, except you and big Terry, him because we used to beat the shit out of each other. And you because I can't seem to shake you" Hobie quips. He sits down next to you.

"You are sooo sweet" you sarcastically say, "Danny's that small kid, with the big glasses. I used to hang out with him before he changed schools"

"You have other friends?" He acts surprised.

Rolling your eyes, you excitedly grab his arm when the light changes, the spotlight follows the first model out on the runway. You watch, taking note of the details on the dress.

Hobie watches your face the entire time, he deciphers your expressions– he translates your pout to mean that you liked it, everytime you narrow your eyes it means you didn't like it. You tighten your hold on him, that means you absolutely loved it. He chuckles when you grimace, oh you did not like that pair of pants.

The show ends, he turns his head towards the stage just in time for you to look at him with a satisfied smile. He nods and claps with you.

You reach for him, "come on, I see Danny over there!" You drag Hobie out of his chair, hand clasped over his.

He lets you hold him, Hobie feels disappointed when you let go of him, flexing his hand as you run up to Danny.

"Holy shit, cherry! You actually made it!" Danny greets you with a bear hug.

You pull away, an arm's length away from him. Hobie lingers behind you, waiting for you to introduce him. "Hi, Danny! Look at you Mr. Bigshot over here!"

"I'm just an assistant," he shrugs.

"Yeah, to the main designer!" You look over your shoulder, excited to reintroduce Hobie. "Danny, you remember Hobie, right?"

"Oh my days! Hobart Brown! My replacement" he playfully puts his hands on his hips. Hobie steps up to greet him.

"And you're not as small as I remember, what happened to the glasses?" He acts as if he remembers Danny clearly. Hobie fists bumps Danny's knuckles. "Call me Hobie, yeah? Only cops call me Hobart, and her, occasionally" He points at you with his head.

"Growth spurt and I got contact lenses, it's nice to see you again, hero"

So he's that Danny, Hobie finally remembers him.

You grin widely at the interaction, feeling energized and inspired. "The show was amazing! Thank you for inviting us"

"You're very welcome, unfortunately I can't hang around that long, gotta help them pack up" Danny points towards the back stage, "we'll catch up next time, okay?"

"Aww, that's too bad, thank you again. And yeah definitely we'll catch up some other time" you give your old friend a hug.

"Oh! I almost forgot, you asked for some advice on the phone, right?" Danny asks, you nod at his question. "Do whatever the hell you want, design whatever you fucking want, as long as you're happy with it, you're golden" he gestures widely while he talks. "I mean look at me! I'm wearing a pinstripe suit, I look like a fuckin' mobster from the 20's, do i give a shit what people say? No! Of course not."

Hobie leans down to your ear, slyly whispering "I can see why he's your friend, man's bonkers"

You bump your shoulder with Hobie,"That's– thank you, I needed that" you can't believe that Danny noticed your different style, even years later he still knows you.

"See, I still know you," he says as if he can read your mind. He winks at you, "missed you, cherry. Take good care of yourself" Danny walks away, he stops walking for a second, turning back to you both. "Oh! And Hobie, be a fucking man bruv, you're not fooling anyone" He continues to walk towards his destination.

Hobie looks surprised, was he watching you two interact while he was backstage? Did you say something to him? Nevertheless in the five minutes Danny talked to him, he read him like an open book. Can this guy read minds? If so, Hobie is in trouble.

You look at Hobie confused. "What did he mean by that?"

At least one theory is debunked, "don't know, love. Told you he has a few screws loose"

You look at him suspiciously, "you didn't say anything to him right?"

"No, why? Did you say anything to him?"

"I just asked him on the phone if we can meet, and he invited me here. I mentioned you and he told me to bring you too, that's it. Oh and also for the advice" you narrow your eyes "you sure you didn't say anything?"

"Why are you looking at me like that? No, I didn't" He tugs at your sleeve, trying to pull you out of the venue.

"Okayy, well he basically called you a wanker, soo"

"You called me a wanker, wanker"

You gasp, feigning hurt, clutching your non-existent pearls. "How dare you"

"You're just fuckin' hungry, c'mon" He slips his hand over yours, pulling you out of the event's place, dodging any questions you have because of what your old friend said. You giggle as he easily pulls you towards his bike.

He places you next to his motorcycle, plopping your helmet over your head, you laugh at his antics, "oh you're hangry, huh?"

Hobie secures the helmet, "he's right, y'know"

"Hmm? About what?" You look up at him through your lashes.

"Wear whatever you want. Don't hide yourself, especially with me." he shrugs "red suits you best, cherry" he clicks his tongue at the last word, annoyed that your old friend came up with a better nickname for you. Heat rises in your cheeks, Hobie avoids your eyes for a moment. "Let's go, I want shawarma" he lightly slaps the top of your helmet.

You look down at your shoes, smiling fondly.

A/N: I promise that Finn and Danny are the last ocs in this story (maybe lol). Thank you for reading! As always likes and reblogs are appreciated ❤️

*pictures above are from pinterest*

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hms-tardimpala · 10 months ago

Text

Ficbinding: Saw collection

Warning: long post

As you may have noticed, I recently got into Saw, and the fanfic quality is phenomenal. The writers in this fandom are exceptional and unafraid to write the kind of freaky shit I love. In a month, I've read enough amazing fics to fill a small book, so I did!

As usual, the fics come first. There are nine, by four different authors (I found writers I love right off the bat in this fandom).

By @theflirtmeister:

Our land is sharp and glorious (3.5k, E) (special mention to this one for being the first Saw fic I ever read <3)

Tell me sweetheart (1.6k, M)

What suits your taste (3.3k, E)

By @degloved (Wolverton on AO3):

See me bare my teeth for you (1.9k, E)

The Issue series (3 fics, 7.5k, E)

Pig on speed dial by @gurokatt (2.9k, E)

Helping hand (1.9k, E) is by an anonymous author I salute, wherever they are.

These are all great fics I wanted to bind to make rereads easier and I recommend them all strongly (just mind the tags). A big thank you to the authors for replying positively when I reached out, I hope this is a good surprise!

Now let's talk shop.

This is my smallest book to date, and I have a good reason for that. As silly as it sounds, I wanted to make a book that could fit in a pocket of Amanda's cargo pants^^ I chose red for the cover and black for the headbands and bookmark to mimic the Jigsaw coat. This cloth is amazing: the pictures above show the book in real lighting (I took them at the window to catch what light was left today). It's a non-uniform blood-like dark red, which is perfect for Saw. It's also slightly reflective, as if it were slick, as you can see in this video under artificial lighting:

I went crazy with the cogs, I know.

I'm very happy with the fonts I chose: "s'AWsome" for the title, "impact label" for the fic titles (reversed for the author names), "underway" for the drop caps and "reem kufi" for the body of the text.

I decorated this book more! Every fic starts with an image of an object related to Saw (I used chains, blades, a puzzle piece, a bear trap, a scar, etc...). I also put the title of the fic and the author's name at the top of the pages. I wish I could have put something between these and the page numbers, but it would have been too small to look good. I used barbed wire for breaks in the stories because of course I did.

I'm especially proud of the "underway" drop caps, look!

They look like fingerprints!!! The oily residue and everything, you know!

What didn't work?

This time, most of what I did worked perfectly. Well, I did have to print, cut, fold, sew and glue this three times because I made mistakes when trimming the textblock. But in the end it's fine because I don't think the uneven edges are jarring when it comes to a Saw collection. There's a small spot of glue on the cover that I'll be the only one to notice. I could have strenghtened the back less for a book this size, it would have made it bendier.

One the whole, I love this book and the stories inside it and, as a craftsman, I'm very proud of myself.

Reminder: Feel free to ask me about materials, fonts and tools, it won't bother me at all to tell you what I used, but I'm too lazy rn to write it in this post that's long enough already.

#I hope this will prompt some people to check out these fics #thanks again to the authors for being super cool because I'm always anxious to reach out <3 #saw #ficbinding #bookbinding #coffinshipping #my bookbinding #I think that's enough tags for now

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aristenfromwarsaw · 17 days ago

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Because of you...

This is my first fanfic I've ever written. 💜 I guess it's not the best fanfic in the world, but you have to start somewhere 😃. Since I had this scene in my head for a long time, I decided to put it down on paper. If there are any grammatical or construction errors, please let me know - English is not my native language, so I could have made a stupid mistake somewhere 🙈.

💜 Pairing: Spawn Astarion x F!Tav (Aristen ~ Redemption Dark Urge ~ High Elf ~ Sorcery ~ Storm Sorcery.)

💜 Summary: the action takes place after the events of the game. Aristen and Astarion live in Baldur's Gate and help rebuild it. Astarion now finds it easier to talk about his feelings with Aristen, and they both get used to life on their own terms. However, even though Aristen is free from Bhaal, she feels great remorse for what she has done when she was under her father's control. Aristen can't deal with it and bad thoughts start to overwhelm her and finally her emotions explode.

💜 Content/tags: romance, deep love, feeling of guilt, trauma, suicide attempt.

💜 Word count: 1 154.

It was a warm and quiet evening when Aristen was sitting in an armchair and reading a book. Or rather, she tried to read. The elf had been having a bad time for a few days, she was constantly thinking about what she had done when she was under the influence of her murderous father. The sorcerer also was very afraid that one day Bhaal would come back and take her under his care again. Because why wouldn't he come back, gods are eternal. And if he comes back, he'll probably hunting for his demigoddess daughter. Unfortunately she hiding her bad mood from her lover, which made her feel even worse. But Aristen just wanted to see by her beloved as a strong and confident woman, not an elf damaged by her own past. She also didn't want to burden her lover with her problems when he himself was struggling with his own trauma.

Suddenly Aristen was brought out of her thoughts by the sound of a key turning in the lock. The woman walked to the door and greeted the person who entered the house with a kiss - of course it was Astarion, the only person in the world who understood her so well.

- “Hello Darling” - Astarion said with big smile of his face.

- “Hi Love, would you like some of that wine you brought yesterday, it's delicious” - Aristen asked while pretending that everything is fine with her.

- “Of course, how could I refuse?”- the pale elf replied in his sweet voice.

- “By the way, I heard that they are going to build a monument with our likenesses for saving the city. No wonder, who wouldn't want to have a statue with so beautiful vampire in their city ? ” - he added.

Immediately Astarion heard the sound of breaking glass when he hung his coat on the hanger. He quickly looked towards his love and was terrified. Aristen stood among the broken glass and was shaking. Her magic began to live according to its own will. Electric sparks swirled around her.

- “Do these people even realize who is responsible for all this !? ” - Aristen started screaming. - “It's me! I am responsible for all this chaos, I am responsible for the death of a hundred. The city should hate me, the inhabitants should come to me with torches and weapons, not treat me like a hero ! I'm just repairing what I've broken, nothing more ! I hate myself and I not a hero ! ”- the women started crying and shouting.

-“Darling, please try to calm your magic. I can't even come close to you and talk with you calmly. ” - said the pale elf with care in his voice. ”

Astarion's voice, always full of love and care, was the only thing that could calm down Aristen. Slowly, her magic returned to full control. As soon as the sparks stopped swirling around the woman, Astarion quickly come to his lover and hugged her.

- “My Love, I didn't know that you suffer so much because of your past. Why didn't you tell me about it? ” - Astarion asked, almost whispering.

- “I didn't want to worry you, you have your own traumas. I also want you to see me as a brave and confident woman, not a victim of my own actions. ” - the sorcerer replied still shaking and continuing to cry into Astarion's chest.

- “Oh Aristen, I see you as a brave and self-confident woman, with or without your traumas, crying or laughing. And you're not a monster. How can a person with a heart like yours call themselves that? For me and other people you are an angel, not a demon. And when you committed your crimes, it was not my Aristen, but her father. And please don't hide such things. If you are having a bad day and want to talk, cry or just hug, come to me, I will always be here for you my Love.” - Astarion said in a soothing and calm voice and hugged her even tighter.

After a few minutes of holding Aristen hardly in his arms the vampire felt that his beloved calmed down. She stopped shaking and the crying subsided slightly.

- “Honey, I want... I want to tell you something else.” -Aristen said quietly.

- “I'm all pointy ears, my Love.” - he whispered in her ear.

The sorcerer didn't want to talk about the incident that happened a few days ago, she was supposed to keep silent about it forever. But she felt so safe in vampire's arms that she decided she had to finally let it out.

- “A few days ago, when I was home alone I had a really bad day. Thoughts of what I had done as Dark Urge still haunted me. At some point I thought about taking a knife... and ... ending it... you know what I mean.” - women said, gripping Astarion's shirts tighter in her hands.

- “By the Gods, Aristen....” - the man replied with fear in his voice.

- “But I didn't do it...because...because of you... I... I know I don't deserve you... your love... any love for what I've done. But... but I love you so much and this feeling between us... and... and... I don't want to lose it... It's the only thing that gives me a gleam of hope that it will get better with time... And... I just don't want to destroy this... this beautiful feeling that connects us... And I don't want you to be alone in this crazy world... So don't worry, I will never do it. ”- Aristen said quietly.

Astarion didn't know what to say. He was the one who thought he didn't deserve such a beautiful and good person as Aristen. After all, he saw how men looked at her, she could have had almost anyone, but she chose him. The damaged elf who could only give her his own traumas. The pale elf admits she deserved a better man, but he loved this woman too much to leave her. She was his friend, his lover, his savior.

After a few minutes of silence, Astarion took her head in his hands and looked deep into hers bright blue-turquoise eyes.

- “Darling, please, don't talk about yourself like that. If anything, I'm not worthy of you. You are such an incredible person and you deserve all the best, not the traumatized vampire. But I guess love is blind... or strange. And please remember what I said earlier, I will always be there for you. You should always tell me if you feel worse... remember, always.” - the Astarion said.

- “I promise you that... I'm sorry” - the elf replied crying again, cuddling into pal elf.

And the silence fell, broken sometimes by Aristen's soft crying...

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which-qsmp-egg-would · 11 months ago

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🌸Intro post! (Changes over time)🌸

ON BREAK FOR NOW :D

I do polls about the qsmp eggs and what kind of children they are! Suggestions are greatly appreciated, as I am a one man band!

Polls will be scheduled to post at 10AM PST every day, but I also love to reblog things about the eggs! I also run events to encourage people to make eggsonas and interact with others in the fandom, as well as posting art/stories about my own egg OC's!

🌸More about me and my blog under the cut! (and some rules)🌸

About me!

⭐️ My name is Captain! You can also call me Poll if you want, as that is the name of this blog's mascot/eggsona.

⭐️ I use They/it/(+neos? idk) pronouns. I don't mind what you call me either, so just go with your heart kkkkkk

🇺🇸 I am American

❗️I can and will block liberally. I refuse to let this blog be swamped in any amount of negativity. I am not a celebrity, I am a pleasant escape.

🌱 My special interest is plants, I am going to start my own garden soon! I also just watch a LOT of cartoons. Oh, I'm also an artist and a writer.

🫶 My native language is English, but I have been learning American Sign Language, Spanish, and recently French. I'm not good at the French.

My main Tumblr account is Captainbee66, but I keep them mostly separate. I just reblog fanart on that one, mostly. I also write fics on Ao3!

I am an Aroace, Agender adult with ADHD :]

About my blog

❤️ Most of this is going to be polls. When requesting polls, PLEASE request them separately. I would prefer an inbox spam over a block of requests. It makes it easier. Also, your requests won't be answered right away. I actually have a lot saved in my inbox, so there's a good amount to sift through. Rest assured, requests will be saved until a later time. I try not to waste.

⭐️ Random asks and questions are also encouraged! I think they're fun. If I don't answer them though, don't be discouraged. Sometimes I just don't have a good answer!

⭐️⭐️ If someone makes fanart/fics based on anything on this blog, please please please tag me, that would be so cool.

❤️ Also, any language allowed here! Google Translate is my best friend, so you can use whatever is comfortable to you.

⚠️ Since I've been asked a few times I'll put it here: I have a limit of 12 options on a poll. We have 11 living eggs. I unfortunately cannot put your favorite dead egg on the polls for this reason. That is why the "Other/Combo" answer exists.

Who are those eggs I keep seeing? I don't remember them from the QSMP??

They're my OCs! The egg in my pfp is Poll. They're sort of my mascot/eggsona that you all helped me make! The other egg is Tequilla, their brother! He's new to the family :]

⭐️ Poll uses all pronouns, Tequilla uses He/Him

🌸 Poll's defining item is a flower crown, Tequilla's is a messenger bag

😭 If anyone makes fanart of them, I will be so emotional about it.

What is Poll's Egg Playdate Project? Can I participate?

🌸This is a community project that I started! It is to encourage you all to make your own eggsonas and make friends, despite events that have happened. We are a strong community, and I want to foster that closeness we've had over the past year!🌸

❤️everyone is welcome to participate, no matter how "late" you are to the party!

❗️Please be respectful of other people's eggs. Don't be a bully, don't put them in bad situations without permission, and just generally behave, alright?

🫶Just have fun, interact with people, and spread your creative wings! If anyone wants a list of specific eggs, I've made a list that I can draw from :]

📖🖌✏️ You can make whatever you want for this project! Artworks, doodles, drabbles, paragraphs of loose thoughts, whatever you want! In any form that you want! The whole point is CREATION.

(Feel free to ask questions in my inbox <3)

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d4isywhims · 2 years ago

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hello friends! 🌷

recently i got an ask on how i edit my instagram screenshots and here in gemville, all you have to do is ask and you shall receive my child

fun stuff under the cut!

this guide will be divided into two parts: how i take & edit my gameplay screenshots and how i edit my simstagram posts

before we get into the actual tutorial, here are a list of things that i use to help me take better screenies :)

gshade

i'm using an older version of gshade because - thanks to my procrastination - i never updated the version before everything went to shit.

2. presets!

i switch around between presets a lot lmao but for the most part, i use ellcrze's gshade preset for my family dynamics save, sunset n vinyl for my globetrotter save & sim download pictures and a modified boho dreams for my tjol legacy save (first post coming up soon!) sometimes i use lithium for cas pics too :p click here for a somewhat detailed explanation lol

3. tab mode camera mod

this camera mod is a godsend and makes taking screenshots soooooo much easier! 😌 i highly recommend getting this mod!!!

i think i mentioned this before in an ask - i edit my screenshots in photoshop before posting them on tumblr :D i don't really do much, just running a few actions and cropping my screenies. gshade does most of the work for me lol

this tutorial by @buglaur is insanelyyyy helpful omg i based my entire editing process on her tutorial, except for the colouring part because i'm lazy hehe

here's an example of my screenshots before and after editing (cropping the screenshot and running some actions)! there’s not much difference because as i said earlier, gshade will basically carry your entire editing process 💀

sometimes i put text in my pics like these screenies below :) i mainly use these two fonts - winkle and lemon milk :D

and that's about it for part one! now it's time for

here's what you neeeeeed

1. photoshop

i'm using a 🏴‍☠️ version of photoshop that i got from a somewhat sketchy website but it runs great so i'm not complaining 💀

2. instagram post template and instagram story template

a HUGEEEE thank you to @windslar for sharing the instagram story template link 😭 she is such an inspiration to me 💛

3. the actual instagram app

this is how i add text and emojis to my simstagram posts lol

disclaimer: i am NOT a photoshop expert. there's probably an easier way to do what i'm about to show you, but this works for me and i don't really mind the steps hehe

first things first, you're gonna want to open the psd files on photoshop and it'll look like this, depending on which file you opened

i usually just hide the layers that i don't need so in this case i'll hide the tagged users layer from the story psd and the bg layer from the post psd.

these are the layers that i hide but you can also leave them on if you want hehe totally up to you my dude. then you'll end up with something like the pics below

now we move on to the profile pictures! so what i do is i click these layers (shown below) and go 'file > place embedded > selected picture'

once you do that, you'll end up with something like this (below)! use 'ctrl + t' to resize your picture to fit into where the profile picture would go.

right click on the layer of your selected picture and click 'create clipping mask'. then you can hit 'ctrl + d' to adjust the picture to your liking!

now for the actual pictures for the posts. click on these layers (shown below) and go 'file > place embedded > your selected picture'

now all you have to do is 'ctrl + t' to resize your pictures, right click on the layer of the selected picture and click 'create clipping mask' then 'ctrl + t' again to adjust the pics!

after this whole process, i'll export my pics to my family dynamics folder on my desktop and queue it up on tumblr! :D sometimes my simstagram story posts have text and emojis like these ones below

all i did was upload the pics to google drive, download it to my phone, add text/emoji on the actual instagram app then saving the story to my phone... a lot of work but i don't really mind <3

aaannnnddd that's it!!!! i can't believe i made this guide 😭 hopefully this helps :D english isn't my first language so apologies for any grammar/spelling mistakes i've made in this post 🙈 feel free to ask any questions and i'll try my best to reply to you asap!!

#gem's guides

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annasinterests · 1 year ago

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I See Fire

|| main masterlist ||

a/n: i'm dedicating this to my love @tinygarbage because the percy brainrot has been unreal for both of us. i thought this up after watching a tiktok (pls don't ask me i literally watched it once, swiped out of the app, then threw my phone across the room) and so this is what we got fellers. ALSO, one line is directly inspired by/from the D&D movie, so i give credit to my boy edgin because honestly the scene about him being so unapologetically honest about his mistakes was everything to me (i also guessed his dialogue word-for-word that entire time and was RIGHT). honestly thinking ab whether or not if i wanna make a part 2 to this..

divider by @saradika ! ❤️‍🔥

word count: 682 words (who knew i could actually write under 1k)

pairings: percy de rolo x reader

warnings & tags: angst, past trauma, arguing, cursing, miscommunication, unresolved ending

“No!-” You seethe, hands balling into fists at your sides, “Don’t you get it?”

Percy scoffed, “You ask that like I should know, and I don’t!” He raised a pointed finger to you, “How can I when all you ever do is leave us in the dark!”

Your jaw clenches as you turn away. White-hot anger blazed your body and blotted out everything else, even the tears that brimmed your eyes and streaked your cheeks.

“Always putting yourself at an arm’s distance, acting like you have the biggest burden to carry– well, guess what? We all have shit of our own!” His rigid tone made your face scrunch up. “You push away every single person that tries to get under the surface, including us! We’re supposed to be a team, damn it!”

You hated him. His pompous attitude and sense of entitlement, as if he’s somehow better than everyone else, or deserves explanations for things that don’t concern him. You hated his stupid glasses that made him look pretentious as hell, and that unnecessary trench coat he wore at all times. And the way he constantly whips out some sort of contraption that leaves the others in awe, stroking his ego, but you wouldn’t dare give him the satisfaction.

But what you really hated, arguably most of all, was that he saw you. Right through all the acts and walls you put up to protect yourself– a promise that there’d be no more pain and tears for as long as you lived out your days.

A promise now shattered.

“Without trust, we are nothing.” The words are venomous, so full of exasperation that it strains his voice on the last word.

A sigh and some shuffling follows a moment or two after, and all you can think is how he’s undeniably soothing the crease between his brows while his other hand rests on his hip, a classic pose of his in high-stress situations. Not that you ever paid attention…

“Believe me, it’s not worth living life that way.” His voice was softer, almost apologetic, “It’s… lonely.”

Had you been completely blinded by your own emotions, you would’ve taken the opportunity to tell him to shove it and kick rocks, but you spared him.

“I, too, thought it was easier. I’d seen my loved ones hunted like game, my own sister betrayed our family name, Whitestone had been–”

“Whitestone still stands,” you snap harshly, abruptly cutting him off. “My home does not.”

It’s then you finally turn back to him with a chilling glare and darkened features. His expression drops to widened eyes and slightly raised brows, clear that he’d not been expecting that response. But now it started, and you couldn’t stop.

“My friends do not– my family does not.” The words are registering at higher decibels that burn your throat after each word, “My life– everything!”

You march up to him, squaring up before his infuriatingly tall frame, locking eyes with his. You were shouting in his face, reaching a point of zenith you didn’t know you had, your vocal cords raw and sore that you were sure they could snap at any moment.

“I’ve lost everything that ever mattered to me and it was all my fault!”

Your body is trembling from the sheer force of the confession, and the air isn’t getting to your lungs the way you need it to right now. Your eyes, narrowed and fierce, fight to maintain their focus, but that buried, broken part of you is clawing its way out with a strength you can’t compete against.

His eyes flicker between yours, his face softened by a frown. You force yourself to look anywhere but his pitying gaze; you don’t need or want it, especially from him. You hastily wipe away the tears with the back of your hand, take a sharp breath in, and then exhale deeply. Out of all people, you couldn’t believe the one person to break you down would be none other than fucking Percival Fredrickstein von Mu—

“You don’t really believe that… do you?”

Yes, of course I do.

#percy de rolo x reader #percy de rolo x f!reader #percy de rolo #percival de rolo x reader #percival de rolo x f!reader #percival de rolo #percival fredrickstein von musel klossowski de rolo III #vox machina #the legend of vox machina

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dxncingwithastrxnger · 9 months ago

Note

Hello there hope your doing well! I aint sure weather you write for this or not! But I was wondering if I could request some friendship headcanons with Lancelot and Percival?

Thank you!

(Feel free to delete my ask:)

Hello! I'm doing very well, I hope you are as well!

I definitely am okay with an ask like this, I love sharing my headcanons!! Also Lance and Percy's friendship def is very special to me, so thank you so much for asking about them!!

Tagging @alwaysamor in case you wanted to read thesseeee (since I know how you are about my nnt/4kota content 😌)

~*~

-Honestly, first of all, Percy is always asking Lance questions. Like, yes, Percy is very curious and inquisitive by nature and he questions lots of people, but whenever he has some random question that doesn't need to be answered by any specific person, he always asks Lance (as long as he can find him)

-Relating to that, Percy is the kind of person who will ask the most out of pocket questions and Lance will think he's crazy at first before genuinely starting to consider it, despite not actually wanting to. Like, they'd be walking through a field and Percy'd just be like, "How many blades of grass do you think we'd need to recreate my entire body weight?" And Lance would just give him a look and ignore the question, but then five minutes later, outta nowhere he's just like, "It has to be at least a thousand, right?" And Percy is very confused until he suddenly remembers his previous question

-ALSO relating to that, Percy is entirely convinced that Lance knows everything. As far as Percy is concerned, Lance quite literally knows all. He has all the answers to every single possible factual question that anyone could ask him. No matter how many times anyone tries to tell him differently, he insists that they're wrong

-These two are unintentionally chaotic together. Like, okay, both are pretty chaotic just in general, and most often Lance is on purpose, but when the two of them are together, they don't even really realize how absolutely unhinged they're being until someone points it out to them (i.e. when they tried to find the answer to the grass question)

-Percy is one of the very few people who knows how much Lance enjoys flora and general plant life (based on my own Lance hcs) and Lance never tells him to keep it a secret necessarily, but some intuitive part of him makes him do so and Lance was surprised but grateful when Percy explained such a thing one day

-Percy isn't exactly the best at reading the room or other people, but Lance's moods are a bit easier for him. Mostly because whenever he's pestering the poor guy for one reason or another, Lance always has some kind of sarcastic comment or a "jus' shut up already, would ya?" Or a sigh or huff or snort. There's always some kind of noise or reaction, and Percy's gotten used to that. So if Lance ever just stays quiet with zero reaction to Percy's antics, he immediately knows that something's off

-Whenever Lance is restless and under-stimulated (more Lance hcs), he specifically seeks Percy out because Percy's rambles and hyperactivity help him balance put

-On the other side of that, whenever Percy notices that Lance is overstimulated, he does his best to make sure everyone else leaves him alone (except for Tristan)

-Both are always very quick to defend each other. Percy thinks Lance is one of the most awesome people ever and doesn't ever hesitate to say so. Lance may call Percy an idiot and all kinds of other names but the moment anyone tries to genuinely underestimate Percy, he'll make sure they know how wrong they are one way or another

-Major younger sibling/older sibling energy between them

-No matter how cheery and full of energy Percy is, he's, ofc, not completely immune to upset. No matter what the reason, if he ever notices Percy's mood is down for any reason, he'll take him somewhere quiet and they'll just sit for awhile. Lance typically isn't very good at comforting most people, so this is usually the best he can do - sit calmly with someone and make sure they know he's there. For Percy, those times are always helpful, Lance being a peaceful presence beside him and making him feel safe (due to that older/younger dynamic between them)

-(if you don't ship Trislance, just ignore this one) Percy doesn't pay much attention to people's romantic interests or who likes who in that way, it's not something he typically thinks about, but one day Donny makes some kind of joke or comment about how Lance and the prince are totally crushing on each other and, after it was explained to him what that means, he suddenly made it his mission to be Lance's wingman and try and help him in his romantic advances towards Tristan, which Lance both loves and hates

-(if you don't ship Persians, just ignore this one) Lance, of course, being the extremely observant person he is, notices almost right away what's going on between Percy and Nasiens, and totally starts nudging them closer together. Percy doesn't understand much about love and romance and all that, but if Lance tells him, "Hey, Nasiens would love if someone gave him this flower and it would make him super happy" then Percy is immediately on it (he volunteers as tribute) or sometimes Lance will just offhandedly mention something or make some comment about something Nasiens does or likes or wishes or wants or he'll very purposely ask Nasiens a specific question while making sure Percy can hear and then he'll just sit back and watch as Percy uses the information to do things that'll make Nasiens happy without even really realizing why he's doing it

-Food. These two 100% bond over food

-They're both always trying to compete against each other but they will team up together without hesitation in order to beat anyone else at whatever it is they're competing about

~*~

I hope you enjoyed at least some of these!! A lot of them are also based on a lot of my headcanons for Percy and Lance just by themselves, tbh

Thank you again for the ask!! You're super awesome!! 💜💜💜

#purple_strxnger #purplestrxngerasks #4kota #4koa #4kota lancelot #4kota percival #percival #lancelot #trislance #trilance #persians #nnt #sds

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aprofessionalwithoutstandards · 1 year ago

Note

hello i am asking politely for your mommy Medic surgeon goresex thoughts. feel free to use the reply to this ask as your dumping ground if it would be easier than an original post!

Welllll if you insist! Putting all this under a cut bc despite my cool exterior I'm extremely ashamed of every thought I've ever had (and bc I wanna put this in some tags and if the juicy stuff is under a cut no one can complain)

Uhhh CWs for sex, gore, goresex, surgery kink, medfet, mommy kink (just the title and the persona for Medic, no specified role for the sub), needles, knives, boot stuff, whatever. This makes me feel like a real writer

Sooo first things first bc I think people won't understand this one at first: Medic tf2 is a man who is a mommy dom. To me and to a lot of other kinky people, there exists a non-gendered semantic difference between a "daddy dom" and a "mommy dom", so women can be daddies and, much more rarely, men can certainly be mommies. Kink educator Evie Lupine describes mommy doms as "giggly, joyful sadists". Sound like someone we know? He's mommy (Mommy doms are also typically more "nurturing" and smothering than daddy doms, I'll get to that later)

I really love characterizing Medic as extremely faux-sympathetic (with flashes of real sympathy every now and again), so he's telling you (or whoever) just how bad he feels for you, you poor thing, that looks like it really hurts, and it's, like, the extra hand he attached to your pelvis. If it does actually hurt and the procedure wasn't successful he will safely remove it, though

Although I definitely think Medic can be mean, I think ESPECIALLY in a gorekink/medfet context, he gives a LOT of praise. He's SUPER full of himself, he'd never deride one of his Crowning Achievements In The Field Of Medical Science!

Similarly, he's very good about giving compliments specific to like, all of a person's inside stuff. The size of your organs, the shade of your blood, the prominence of your veins, the sturdiness of your bones... Medic tf2 is leaned over you on the vivisection table lovingly stroking your liver and cooing about how much he loves the color

This one's kind of a big one for me tbh... I think Medic tf2 would intentionally (consensually, temporarily) incapacitate someone so he gets to take care of them. Misery-style. My favorite version of this is Medic "accidentally" taking too much of someone's blood out during a blood draw, so they get all sleepy and he needs to feed them (with his boobs) and let them rest (on his boobs). Despite it all I think he really does like to feel needed.

I think Mommy Medic can be veryyyy... smothering. Figuratively and literally. He can really heap on the compliments, especially with a character who isn't very used to praise, which is its own kind of sadism. And he literally suffocates you in his boobs/thighs/ass/tummy/whatever. That one's a little less psychological.

Okayyyy goresex time... surgery makes Medic horny and he wants to fuck people's internal organs. Tf2 is really fun for this because the medigun is a built-in explanation for how he can do that while the other person is still awake. In Meet the Medic he should've been straddling Heavy's hips and jacking off onto his large intestine.

I don't know how into drinking blood normal humanguy Medic would be, but he definitely likes touching blood. Getting it all over his hands. I think he'd maybe be more into making you (or whoever) drink blood, lick it off his gloves, off his boots, off his big hairy (eroticized body part of your choice here). One of those things that he probably intends as a humiliation thing but if you're enough of a freak you just enjoy for what it is.

The penetration imagery of the needle. I read something like that recently about the scene in Breaking Bad where Jesse does heroin for the first time and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. You understand

On a humiliation note, I think Medic would think it's Very fun to "force" (lovingly encourage) someone to call him "mommy" if they're embarrassed about it, which I think most of his team would be. Medic using kink to help Sniper drop his inhibitions and give in to his urges and Have Fun is one of my fave bushmed dynamics and I definitely think getting Sniper to get over the hill and call him "mommy" for the first time would be a big thing for him. Of course this is all part of his plan to break you (consensually!) and have you (or whoever!) whimpering into his cleavage as he gets to nurture you

Imagine everything I just said but he's in a sexy nurse outfit that's extremely visibly too small for him. And also just COMPLETELY covered in blood. That's my vision

#ask #anon #tf2 #medic #medic tf2 #tf2 nsft #mick dicks #nsft #gore

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lucagray813 · 2 days ago

Text

Shadow - Chapter 12

Title: In Sickness and in Health

Rating: T+

Word Count: ~10,000

Characters: Wukong, Macaque

Minor Characters: MK, Red Son, DBK, PIF

Relationships: Macaque/Wukong

Minor Relationships: Macaque & PIF & DBK, Wukong & DBK

Summary: Silly, yet sensible, discussions about condoms, a curse that transforms this chapter into a sickfic, and everyone being upset with Macaque for the lengths he'll go to for his loved ones.

Additional Tags: Developing Relationship, Acquired Disability, Slice of Life, DBK is called Niú, PIF is called Gōngzhǔ

CW: brief sex talk involving condoms & masturbation, sexual humour, suggestive language

If you want to skip those CWs just miss out the first section which is denoted with the line break --T+--

Link to AO3 Version

Chapter Navigation: First | Prev | Next

----

--T+--

In truth, there was no real need to buy in food - the island provided more than enough to sustain everyone here and, if he was willing to put in a bit of effort, he could even make a lot of stuff from scratch but damnit it was just so much easier to buy pre-made noodles than it was to make them. And he'd be lying if he said he wasn't very partial to the variety of snacks that had been invented in the last hundred years or so.

He just couldn't be without his favourite peach chips.

Not to mention, his weekly cook offs with Niú required a lot of specific ingredients and so he felt he was perfectly justified in doing an online grocery shop every couple of weeks.

Rarely, did Macaque want or need anything bought in but still he offhandedly asked while he was tapping away on his tablet adding things to the basket. Macaque hummed a negative from behind him where he was grabbing some drinks and snacks for them before suddenly exclaiming, "Oh wait, no - get us some condoms."

He paused in his shopping to turn around and look at him with confusion, "Condoms?"

Deliberately misunderstanding him, Macaque explained, "Yeah rubbery things that you wear on your-"

"I know what they are, you ass! I meant, why do you want them? I mean, I'll get them but I didn't think we really needed them?"

STDs and pregnancy were not things they personally had to worry about and it wouldn't really make clean up any easier - a well placed shadow portal to god knows where handled the worst of it. And well... He'd sort of been scared of penetrative sex for the meantime anyway. Until he could figure out how to get his magic fully under control then he couldn't bring himself to risk it. So with all that in mind, he couldn't see why Macaque would want them.

Macaque handed him his tea as he explained, "We don't need them in the traditional sense, no, but there's something I want to try out that we'll need them for."

He had no clue what that could possibly be and he raised an eyebrow at Macaque as he sat down, "You want to share with the class?"

He didn't keep him guessing as he explained, "I've been thinking about our- well, my problem with magic sensitivity. Your magic cock ring idea is along the right lines but I don't like that it's messing with the flow of your magic. I'm sure eventually we could figure out how to use it safely but I think there's an easier way. You don't need to control your magic, we just need a barrier between it and me."

The never ending embarrassment his magic inhibitor idea brought him aside, he quickly clocked on, "And a condom is literally the barrier for the job. We would just need to figure how to use seals to modify it."

He posed thoughtfully as his mind started to quickly flip through potential solutions. A total magic barrier wouldn't be hard but that wasn't what they needed - some of his magic still had to be able to pass through for Macaque to feel it and that would take some experimenting to get right.

There was also the added difficulty of sealing something so awkward - it was doable it would just be a bit of a challenge but honestly it was the sort of challenge that appealed to him. Plenty of ideas for how to combine characters to make the seal were coming to mind and he was about two seconds away from heading to the library to start working on it.

He was brought back to the present by Macaque, "Yeah, exactly. First step is to actually buy some condoms though. How about you finish the shopping before going all mad seals scientist on me?"

He picked up the abandoned tablet from his lap a little sheepishly - he'd already forgotten all about it - but even as he started to search for them, he responded, "It's such a good idea - simple but effective. I'm kicking myself for not thinking of it. You've already started looking at it though, right? Have you put together any potential seals?"

"I've a couple ideas but not really put pen to paper for it yet. I figured you'd want in on the fun."

Oh, he couldn't wait to start looking at it properly but he was discovering he had a much more immediate problem, "Er, what condoms am I getting? There's a lot more choice here than I was expecting."

Sizes, texture, material, scent, taste, brand... It seemed never ending. Was there a need for so much variety?

Macaque shrugged, "Any one should be fine as long as it's the right size."

"Yeah, ok, but what's the right size? Like, listen to this list. They've got standard, regular, larger, XL, slim fit, magnum and then they've got stuff like iron grip and snugger fit tacked on... What should I get?"

"How am I supposed to know?"

A little incredulous he said, "This is your area of expertise, not mine!"

Macaque looked amused, "By area of expertise you mean sex? I'd be flattered but that really doesn't mean much coming from you. But for the record when I was having sex, condoms weren't a thing, my knowledge is pretty limited here. You literally have the internet at your finger tips though - just look it up."

He grumbled but he did just that and after a few minutes, he said, "Alright, I think I've got the gist of it but looks like it's best to measure myself...?"

Macaque grinned, pretending to reach towards him, "Want a hand?"

He slapped it away, "No, I don't "want a hand", you lecher! I can handle this myself!"

Macaque leaned back, still grinning, "Oh by all means. I love a good show."

He felt his face burn, "I'm not putting on a show! You can get lost while I deal with this!"

Macaque didn't move, "Aw, will you think of me at least?"

"No! Now get out of here!"

Honestly, he wasn't sure what he was going to do. The thought of touching himself made him want to squirm but his pride wouldn't let him ask for help now. He cursed himself.

Something must have given away how uncomfortable he really was because Macaque just sighed, "Or we could just do this the easy way. Summon a tape measure."

Warily, he pulled out some fur, "What easy way?"

He watched as Macaque drew the outline of a circle and then a separate straight line in the air with his magic, "There, those are your measurements."

He eyed them, "Are you sure?"

Macaque raised an eyebrow, "Well, I was trying to protect your delicate sensibilities but if you insist..."

The shadows merged and grew to become a very accurate 3-D model of his dick and he could only try to pretend he didn't find this nearly as embarrassing or weird as he did. He teased, "Wow. Must be good, if you've got it memorised like this, huh?"

"You really want me to answer that?"

No, he did not. He was sure anything Macaque said in response would be complimentary to the point of mortification and he would really like to sweep this whole fiasco underneath the rug as fast as possible.

He laughed nervously, "No, no. No need. I think I know the answer."

As quickly as he could he took the measurements and he quietly prayed that Macaque would be merciful and disappear the floating imitation as soon as he was done. There was definitely a moment where he clearly considered harassing him further but apparently he was feeling merciful today and he was extraordinarily grateful for it.

Armed with the correct measurements, he tapped on the first box of condoms of the right size and moved back to the home page, ready to finish the rest of the shopping. He cleared his throat, "Er, thanks. That- that was easier."

"I figured. I get the impression masturbating isn't really your thing."

He cringed slightly, "Yeah, not really. I'm not sure I've ever actually..." Curious despite himself he asked, "But you...?"

Macaque shrugged and leaned back, "Back in the day? Sure. I have tried recently to see if I can imitate what you do with your magic to try it on myself but results were middling at best."

He choked, "What? When?"

Macaque grinned, "Aw, were you wanting to watch? My bad."

"No, I didn't want to watch!"

He was admittedly a little curious, and maybe he could even learn a thing or two, but overall it wasn't appealing. On one hand, why would he want to watch when he could be involved? And on the other... Well, it just didn't sit right with him.

Macaque just laughed, "Your loss."

He ignored him and busied himself with the shopping for a moment before his curiosity got the better of him, "Why didn't it work?"

"Hm?"

He clarified, "You imitating my magic?"

"Oh. Well, for one thing it's hard to actually imitate your magic so there's a good chance I just wasn't doing it right and even if I was, our magic is just fundamentally different - magic type could just be all it boils down to. Or it could be that magic can't interact with itself like that. Who knows?"

All of that made total sense but the way Macaque's top left ear twitched told him that might not be the full story and he scrutinized him for a moment, "You sure that's all there was to it?"

A little embarrassed, he looked away, "Yeah, well, maybe the lack of emotion might have played a part."

He cooed as he got up in his face, "Aw, you like feeling how much I love you, you big sap."

Macaque huffed but he was quick to recover, and with a devilish spark in his eye, he responded, "Love's not the only thing I feel you know? Want to talk about those other feelings?"

He backed off and brought his tablet up to act as a barrier between them, "Would you look at the time? I really need to get this shopping done before we lose our slot."

Macaque followed after him, "Oh no, no, no. Your feelings are just so important to me. So much more important than getting our groceries at one instead of two. I want to hear all about how you feel when-"

He pushed at his face to shut him up, and the ensuing tussle quickly developed into a game of keepaway across the island.

Needless to say their shopping was late.

----

There was very little that he wouldn't do for MK but he was beginning to seriously rethink that stance because almost every single time he left the island at MK's request it ended badly - sometimes for both of them but usually just for him.

In the last few months alone he had been the victim of death traps, imprisoned in a pocket sized stone carving of a monkey, stranded in an underground labyrinth, lost half his tail and worst of all been put on stage to act as a distraction.

So, very understandably, he thought, he was wary when MK came knocking asking for his help. But he was unfortunately a little helpless in the face of his pleading. It would be a really quick half-a-day adventure, he'd said. You'll be back home in one-piece before you know it, he'd said.

And while his newly grown tail was still where it was supposed to be, it was of little comfort as he and MK shivered miserably in Red Son's lab as he checked them both over.

MK coughed violently before bemoaning, "How could we possibly have gotten sick this quickly? We were fine an hour ago. Is this what demon bugs are like?"

He sneezed and sniffled before responding, "We're not sick. We can't be. I don't get sick."

MK looked at him blearily, "What do you call this then?"

"A curse." They both looked up to Red Son scanning through the notes in his hand, "And quite a nasty one at that."

MK looked distressed, "A curse? Does that mean we're stuck like this?"

Red Son answered, "Until I can figure out how to undo it, yes. It shouldn't take me longer than a few days but in the meantime you will both have to remain here."

He scoffed and tried to stand up on shaking legs, "As if. Macaque will be home tonight, he'll be able to fix this. I'll just wait for him there."

He could feel the room get a little hotter as Red Son argued, "Macaque will not be able to undo this any faster than me! But if you want to leave then by all means - go suffer on that wretched island of yours!"

He was easy to ignore as he tried to summon his nimbus to him, it was proving a lot more difficult than normal, but after several false starts his beloved cloud was before him and he inelegantly collapsed on to it.

MK was alarmed and tried to stumble towards him, "Are you crazy? You can't fly in your condition! And what if something happens to you before Macaque gets back? Just stay here! We can sit and eat soup together!"

He just about found the energy to lift his head and look in MK's direction, an irate and concerned Red Son holding him upright, "No way, kid. Resting is the best medicine and there's nowhere more restful than home. Nothing's going to happen to me - I'm, like, a hundred times immortal, remember?"

Slumping heavily against Red Son, MK asked tiredly, "At least let Red Son take you home?"

He shook his head and affectionately, if not lethargically, pet his cloud, "Nimbus knows the way. Don't you, boy?"

He felt the cloud nuzzle into his hand and he buried his face against it, "That's right. Who's my good, fluffy boy?"

The disgust was clear in Red Son's voice, "Just leave already. I can't stand to look at this nauseating display for a moment longer."

He heard MK begin to protest but he fell silent at Red Son whispering something to him and finally conceded, "Alright but keep checking in, ok? Let me know you get back safe."

He held up a thumbs up before letting his hand fall and silently willed the cloud to take him home. The journey to his bed was a blur and he honestly couldn't remember if he had messaged MK or not but he didn't have the energy to care or the mental faculties to check.

All he wanted to do was curl up and will this miserable existence away. He was sure in all the millennia he'd been alive he'd never once gotten sick and he was not enjoying the experience. Everything ached, his brain was foggy, he was both too hot and too cold, and his face was just a misery of sweat, snot and tears.

When he found whoever had put this god awful curse together... Ugh, he didn't know what he'd do but it was going to be unpleasant that's for sure.

He slept in restless bursts and he found himself getting more distressed the longer this went on. Where was Macaque? Why wasn't he here? Surely, he was done with his trip to the Void by now? There was no way he had the focus for astral projection and after some halfhearted flailing he gave up on finding his phone.

Voice hoarse he took to trying to call for him but all it did was draw some of the monkeys to him and while he loved them dearly, their bedside manner and attempts to help just had him curling up in a ball and pleading for them to go away.

It felt like it was some time later when he groggily awoke to the feeling of a hand gently running through his hair and the sound of quiet reassurances. He managed a croaked, "Mac..." Before sluggishly trying to get closer to him, "Please... Make it stop..."

"We're working on it but I just wanted to check on you. You were crying in your sleep."

If he had been dreaming he couldn't remember it but he was almost certain he felt even worse than he had earlier but all he could do was bury his face into Macaque's lap and try not to sob.

"Hey, you're going to be ok. You think you're able to sit up and drink something?"

He shook his head but Macaque apparently hadn't been asking and while he was gentle in manoeuvring him it still left his head spinning and he panted against his shoulder when he was finally upright. He was allowed a moment to recover before a glass was placed against his lips with the instruction to drink slowly.

He recoiled immediately from the taste and his head pounded in protest and Macaque's voice was sympathetic, "I know but it's not a lot. Drink this and you can lie back down, ok?"

He really did try to get it all down but he started gagging before he could finish it and he could only be grateful he didn't immediately throw it all back up. Macaque rubbed circles on his back, "You're alright. That was it, you did it, you don't need to drink anymore. Once you're ready I'll help you lie back down."

It felt like a terrible injustice that lying down barely felt any better and he clung to Macaque's clothes weakly as he all but begged him not to leave.

"I'm right here, and I'll still be here when you wake up - just go back to sleep, ok?"

That was probably the last coherent thing he could remember before delirium started to set it - every time he woke up he had no idea where he was or what was going on and it was terrifying.

He had been convinced he was going to die and he had cried in terror as he pleaded with Macaque to save him, promising him he'd give him anything, would do anything if he kept him from the Ten King's deathly hold.

That's when he could recognise Macaque and remembered their current relationship at least. His mood had swung violently - tearful apologies quickly followed by angry accusations. He thinks at one point he might have mistaken him for his beloved master and he couldn't imagine the sort of agony that might have caused.

But at last he awoke to the feeling of the immortal peaches working their magic to heal a body that was no longer cursed. He let his head loll to one side and then the other and felt overwhelming relief at the sight of Macaque curled up asleep a short distance away.

He resisted the urge to reach out to him, not wanting to wake him after what must have been an exhausting ordeal. His eyelids felt heavy and he didn't fight it as he was pulled back under.

When he finally woke up properly it was to an empty bed and as he pushed himself up, his eyes fell upon the glass of water and the immortal peach sitting next to it. He drank the water faster than he meant to but he was suddenly unbearably thirsty, he managed to eat the peach a bit slower but in no time at all he was gingerly getting out of bed and grimacing at how badly he needed a shower.

He rubbed at his face before shuffling into the living room and was very disappointed to find Macaque wasn't there. He made his way to his bedroom door and hesitated outside - if he was in there he was probably sleeping. He turned away, he should let him rest. He could get himself cleaned up and his bed changed in the meantime.

It was as he was in the shower that he attempted to reflect on the last few... hours? Days? He didn't even know. It couldn't have been longer than that, surely. He should have checked before he got in here because suddenly he was struck with the fear he'd been in that hellish condition for weeks, months, years...

Oh god, what about MK? He was mortal. Could he have survived being ill like that for so long?

Soaking wet he crashed out of the shower and tore through the house looking for his phone. He was ready to destroy everything he owned if he didn't find it within the next five seconds and thankfully he spotted it out of the corner of his eye on the kitchen counter.

He threw himself at it and was beyond relieved to see that only three days had passed and even more so to see a scathing message that could only be from Red Son confirming that MK's curse had also been lifted and that he would make a speedy recovery under his watchful eye. It even came with an accompanying picture of a sleeping MK as if to prove his point. The kid looked like he'd had just as rough a time as he had, if not worse, but he was alive.

He leaned on the counter and rested his forehead there for just a moment while his heart rate calmed down. He would go check on him personally once he'd cleaned up here and found Macaque - who was either crashed out in his sound proof room or not on the island because there's no way he wouldn't have heard that whole fiasco.

As he made his way back to the still running shower he grimaced at the water he had trailed everywhere but it was a small price to pay now that he knew MK was safe.

Three days...

And he could barely remember any of it - just flashes of sickness and distress. A shiver went up his spine at the thought of something so awful being a constant threat. Mortals got sick all the time and while he'd obviously seem people sick and suffering, experiencing it first hand was another thing all together. This was going to haunt his nightmares for days to come.

And Macaque had no doubt tended to him throughout and that wouldn't have been easy even without bouts of delirium making him volatile and uncooperative. He was going to owe him big for this - he'd of course return the favour if it was ever needed but like him, he'd never known Macaque to get sick.

He foresaw himself doing anything Macaque even thought of asking him of him without complaint for at least the next few days, or until Macaque snapped at him to stop - whatever came first.

After he had showered and tidied up, there was nothing to stop him from glancing at Macaque's door and every time he did it got harder to resist the urge to open it and check if he was there.

If he was really sound asleep then he might not wake up at him peaking his head and if he wasn't he could always go back to sleep, right? He just wanted confirmation he was in there.

He couldn't stand it any longer and as quietly as he could he opened the door and activated his golden vision and he could have collapsed with the relief he felt to see Macaque lying asleep in the middle of his bed. Unfortunately, now he'd seen him, he couldn't stop him from approaching him and before he knew it he was on the bed beside him and holding him as gently as he could when all he wanted to was pull him tightly against his chest.

He wasn't sure whether he wanted to thank him or apologize - probably both.

He hadn't realised he had been faintly trembling and despite how desperately he didn't want to disturb Macaque's sleep he found himself burying his face into the back of his neck as his eyes burned.

He heard Macaque inhale sharply before his hand moved to cover his, "Wukong..."

Voice hoarse, he whispered, "I'm sorry."

Sorry for waking him up, sorry for needing to see him so badly, sorry for putting him through god knows what for the last three days.

He didn't fight it when Macaque turned round and used a hand to tuck Wukong's head under his chin and safe in his arms he couldn't stop himself from breaking down. Apologies were used as punctuation as he struggled to put into words the terror he had felt, that he still felt, at his agonising taste of mortality.

Macaque said little, and when he was finally calm enough to pull back and look at him it was clear how exhausted he was. Promises to be the one to tend to him now fell on deaf ears as Macaque asked whether he was going to visit MK and he thought Macaque was perhaps trying to spare his feelings with a subtle hint to leave him alone for a while.

But that wasn't quite the case because after a disheartened affirmation Macaque explained, "While you're there I think I'm going to take a quick trip to the Void."

Alarmed, he responded, "But you only just got back!"

Macaque nodded, "I know but the last few days have been... a lot. A couple hours there would do me some good. I'll be back by the time you've finished seeing MK."

Guilt clawed at his chest, "I'm sorry you had to take care of me. I... I can't remember most of it but I know I wasn't easy to deal with."

Macaque shrugged, "You were out of it - not like you had any control over anything you did."

He frowned, "That doesn't mean I didn't do or say anything that upset you. Hell, even if I didn't it must have been unbelievably stressful. If it had been the other way around I would have lost my mind with worry. Don't just bottle up how this whole thing affected you, it doesn't matter if I was "out of it" - you had a hard time too."

Macaque conceded tiredly, "We'll talk once I'm back, alright? Thoughts are too hard to gather right now."

It was an acceptable compromise but the urge to take care of him couldn't quite be ignored, "Ok but let's get something to eat before you go. I can bring it to you - breakfast in bed style."

He huffed, "No thanks. Never saw the appeal of eating where you sleep. C'mon, let's just get up."

He did his best not to make a fuss but he was grateful that Macaque just sat down and let him worry about getting them breakfast. Macaque asked after how he was feeling but aside from a dull headache and being a bit tired he was feeling right as rain.

Macaque yawned before explaining, "You'll probably be subject to some tests just to double check everything is fine once you get to MK. Do me a favour and just go with it - don't give Red Son a hard time. You do owe him for lifting the curse after all."

Begrudgingly he agreed but sure in the answer he asked, "He cracked it but you two must have been working together, right?"

It had apparently been quite the team effort between Red Son, Macaque, the Demon Bull family physicians, the Long family physicians and some independent experts on curses and he was horrified to learn that while his life had never been at risk, MK's most certainly had been and it had been all hands on deck to lift the curse before it killed him.

He had a lot of thank you fruit baskets to personally deliver by the sounds of it.

At the moment all he could do to express his overwhelming gratitude was to keep piling more food on Macaque's plate and topping up his drink after every sip he took. Macaque had a terrible habit of only remembering to eat when other people were eating around him and so he felt totally justified in making sure he was well fed now because who knew when his last proper meal had been.

Macaque didn't fight it but he did eventually reach the point where he looked like he was going to pass out if he had even one more bite and so Wukong reluctantly allowed him to stop.

It dawned on him a little late that Macaque was waiting for the go-ahead for him to leave. He took a breath before declaring he needed to see MK, and Macaque all but sagged in relief. As they were about to part ways he forced himself to say, "Don't hurry back if you need more time."

Macaque kissed the back of his hand, "I'll be back before dinner. Say hi to MK for me."

He squeezed his hand briefly before disappearing and Wukong allowed himself a moment to centre himself before he summoned his nimbus and left for the Demon Bull family fortress.

----

Wukong couldn't wait to see the back of this whole ordeal. This week had been the longest he had known for a long time, with today, in particular, feeling like it was never going to end.

He'd arrived at the Demon Bull family fortress only to immediately be beset by an overtired and stressed Pigsy who hadn't hesitated to let him know who he thought was to blame for his son's brush with death.

He had done his best to weather his anger but, while he'd known deep down neither he nor MK were responsible for the curse, the should-ofs and what-ifs that had already been beginning to fester were only being fed the longer he endured Pigsy's tirade.

Eventually Sandy had come to his rescue and pulled Pigsy away from him, but the damage had been done and he knew he was going to hear the echoes of those shouts for some time to come.

He hadn't been allowed nearly as long as he needed by MK's bedside before he had been whisked away by Red Son to perform some tests but as per Macaque's request he had bore it without a word of complaint - even offering a sincere thank you for saving MK and himself from the curse.

He was told in no uncertain terms that he hadn't done it for him. He had done it for MK, Wukong had just been lucky enough to also benefit from his efforts. Unprompted, he added that these tests were also for MK's benefit, and Macaque's, as for some unfathomable reason they cared about his wellbeing and it went unsaid that they were both important enough for him to go out of his way like this as a result.

He learnt a little about the work that had gone into lifting the curse and the part that Macaque had played in it all - he'd apparently taken charge of the situation once he'd arrived on the scene and it sounded like he had been instrumental in facilitating Red Son's eventual success. Both in helping him unravel the curse and in ensuring he didn't destroy himself in the process.

He asked after MK's condition as well - wanting to know when he would wake up and if there was anything he could do to help. Overall, his condition was stable and with any luck he would start to wake up within the next few hours but there was nothing else that could be done now but to wait.

He would have liked to have been there when he woke up but he had a feeling his presence was not conducive to the sort of environment that encouraged recovery, not if Pigsy was there. So he asked Red Son to call him once there were any signs he'd wake up soon and told him he was off to find Niú.

He tried not to let his thoughts wander too much as he walked through the halls but the image of MK lying in that bed haunted his every step. A cruel reminder that no matter how invincible his successor seemed, he was very much still mortal and not for the first time he'd agonised over the fact that MK had refused his offer of an immortal peach.

Thankfully, he found Niú before his thoughts could even begin to consider the terribly alluring idea of taking matters into his own hands. Niú had filled him in on everything he knew of the situation before asking after his experience and while he was honest as he explained he couldn't remember much, he definitely downplayed quite how harrowing it had been.

He was quick to move the topic off himself and ask after Macaque instead. Niú confirmed what he'd heard from Red Son and Wukong was unsurprised to hear that despite Macaque's insistence that Red Son eat and sleep he hadn't seemed inclined to take his own advice.

Niú had been equally unsurprised to hear that Macaque was currently taking a power nap in the Void and had muttered unflatteringly about how he hadn't changed at all - still too willing to disregard himself for a loved one.

It was a sentiment that sent a cold chill through him and he knew Macaque was going to be absolutely sick to the back teeth of him with how overbearing and clingy he was going to be in the immediate future.

Niú kept him company while they waited for news of MK and when a bull clone finally appeared they both made their way back to the infirmary. As much as he had wanted to rush to MK's bedside, he and Niú hung back on the peripherals as everyone else got their fill first.

MK looked tired and dazed but he was awake and so undoubtedly alive. He sagged against Niú but he snapped back to attention as MK's eyes met his and he was beckoned over with a weakly raised hand and a watery smile.

The crowd parted for him and they were as bad as each other as they held on tightly and wetly babbled about how worried they had been and how glad they were that it was over. When he finally stood up and wiped at his eyes it was to tell MK to hurry up and get better and that if he needed or wanted anything he just had to say the word.

He retreated slightly to let everyone else back in but it was clear that MK wasn't going to stay awake for much longer and once he was finally asleep Wukong took his leave - promising he would be back tomorrow and requesting that he be kept in the loop.

He felt both lighter and heavier as he flew back to the island and honestly he wasn't sure he had it in him for whatever heart wrenching conversation awaited him back home but he wasn't giving himself a choice - he couldn't let anything Macaque might be thinking fester.

Despite his mounting stress about what was to come, he was glad to walk through the front door and see Macaque on the couch chatting with some of the monkeys - all but one of whom immediately left him to come and clamber over him while loudly chittering about how worried they had been.

He'd forgotten he still needed to let the troupe know he was alright - no doubt he'd have a small army outside his door soon enough but right now he reassured those in front of him and apologised for worrying them and for "being mean".

He probably wasn't going to be having a truly private conversation with Macaque anytime soon but still he shuffled over to him as best he could, leaning over the back of the couch to kiss his head before asking, "How're you feeling?"

"Better. Still a bit tired but nothing some normal sleep won't fix. How was MK?"

He moved around the couch and sat close to him as he responded, "He woke up for a little bit while I was there - Red Son says he should make a rapid recovery but he's going to be stuck in bed for at least the next couple of days."

Macaque huffed, "They might let him out of bed but he's not being let out of anyone's sight anytime soon. It was real touch and go at times."

He didn't even want to think about it and instead focused on what else he'd learnt about the situation, "Niú filled me in. And speaking of - I knew you were downplaying how involved you were! Did you sleep at all? How did you even manage to be in two places at once?"

Macaque shrugged, "Used my portals so I had at least one ear in both places. Went wherever I was needed most."

He pressed, "So you didn't sleep then?"

He looked uncomfortable and his guilt was confirmed as he looked away and muttered, "Didn't need to sleep."

His tail twitched but he took a breath. He wasn't really in a place to criticise - he would have doubtless done the same, but Niú's grumbled comment had stuck with him, "Macaque..."

He refused to look at him as he sunk further into the couch, "I used the lantern."

He blinked, not quite sure what he meant but increasingly sure it wasn't good, "What?"

"Didn't need to sleep, used my lantern."

"No, I got that. Since when can you use your lantern to... What? Substitute sleep? What else can it do? What else have you been using it for?" He didn't mean to sound so accusatory but his sounded like a worrying development.

"Nothing. I haven't used it for anything. I didn't even know it would work but it did and... Look, I'm telling you this so I'm not tempted to do it again and so you can call me out if I do. I know I shouldn't have done it but MK was dying and you were begging me to make it stop and I just... I had to do something."

He was erring on the side of believing him about the lantern - he hadn't had to tell him any of this after all. He would never have questioned how he'd actually been able to stay awake for that long - he assumed he'd maybe stolen little power naps here and there or just powered through with sheer force of will.

And he knew he would have been willing to go to much worse lengths if he had been in Macaque's position.

He sighed and took hold of his hand, "We're definitely scheduling in a proper lantern talk, and soon, but for now is there anything I need to know - did it have any side effects? Is that why you needed to go to the Void today?"

A bit of tension left Macaque's body as he replied, "I think I would have gone either way but using the lantern like that did definitely have me actually wanting to go. I... I have a feeling using the lantern's power like that has the potential to be a problem. It- It felt good, like addictively good, but honestly the old lantern was the same. This definitely felt more potent though."

He wrapped an arm around him and kissed the side of his head, "Thank you for telling me. We'll talk about it properly later, alright? Right now, I want to hear about what happened these last few days from your perspective. And don't try and spare my feelings - I want to know."

And it was true, he did want to know, but he really hadn't given as much thought to what physically taking care of someone that was ill meant. He'd tended to plenty of sick monkeys over the years, and seen plenty of sick mortals - he knew what was involved and despite knowing there was no shame in needing help, he felt deeply uncomfortable as he realised just how dependent he'd been.

He'd never had to rely on anyone the way he'd had to rely on Macaque these last few days and while it did nip at his pride, it was the thought of being so weak and vulnerable that was really throwing him for a loop. If something had happened, if someone had attacked, he would have been worse than useless.

He'd been brought to his knees before - by mountains and circlets but they had been ordained by Heaven. To think that there were curses or the like just lying about that could actually strike down the Monkey King... It was a terrifying thought.

And while that was going to haunt him, he couldn't help but feel grateful that he and Macaque's roles hadn't been reversed because he was sure seeing Macaque as distressed as he had been would have broken something inside of him.

To have only been able to hold him as he cried and begged for the pain to stop, or to sit and bear it as he swung between incoherent grief and anger over things long since passed... He would have torn the world apart to stop his suffering.

Thankfully, he hadn't said anything too egregious or hurtful. Well, not towards Macaque at least and he'd had to spend a not insignificant amount of time trying to convince him that he wasn't riddled with guilt and self-loathing. Sure, he had his bad days but they were happening less and less often.

He had a feeling Macaque would be keeping a close eye out to confirm how true that was.

He was quick to put to bed any inklings that he had meant any of the upsetting remarks he had made towards Macaque because he most certainly did not believe that Macaque hadn't been doing absolutely everything he could to help him nor did he believe that he had been trying to punish him by withholding relief from the curse.

Macaque seemed to accept this pretty easily - understanding that his delirium and distress had been what had caused him to lash out but that didn't mean it hadn't hurt to hear and despite none of it being intentional or within his control Wukong could only keep apologising.

Macaque never said anything about him thinking his master had been with him at one point but he was so sure it had happened, nervously he asked, "I didn't mistake you for anyone else while I was out of it by any chance, did I?"

Macaque shrugged, "You didn't seem to know who I was at times. You even asked me to go find me for you at one point."

Well, that was a bit embarrassing and he laughed a little awkwardly while he deliberated on whether to keep pushing. If things really had happened as he thought they had then there's no way Macaque didn't know what he meant and this was likely his subtle way of saying he didn't want to talk about it.

It didn't feel right to just ignore it though, so tentatively he asked, "That's all? You're sure? I swear I can remember thinking someone else was there...?"

Macaque seemed to think about it, "Oh, there was a bull clone here before I arrived."

That wasn't the answer he'd been expecting, and surprised he asked, "What? Why?"

"Red Son had it tail you after you left his lab to make sure nothing happened before I got to you and so it could explain the situation to me."

He cringed slightly. Yeah, he really hadn't been in any condition to explain what was going on - he probably should have thought of that before crashing out but in his defence, he hadn't known he was going to deteriorate like that.

Ok, fair play to Red Son but it was one thing for Macaque to see him in that state and quite another for literally anybody else. Knowing Red Son, those bull clones of his probably record everything they saw and he was very unhappy that one, Red Son had witnessed him so vulnerable and two, probably still had the evidence of it.

How was he going to get rid of it? He had a feeling just asking him to delete it wasn't going to work but he didn't have the tech savviness needed to find it and do it himself. Maybe he would listen to Macaque or MK if they asked him to do it...?

He'd worry about it later. Right now he had a more pressing concern, "Well, that's good to know but it wasn't what I was getting at..."

Macaque sighed, "I know but I don't want to talk about it."

That was all the confirmation he needed, "So, I really did think you were...? I'm sorry. That must have been... Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?"

He wasn't actually sure how Macaque must have felt about it but he doubted it had been anything positive.

"I'm sure."

Insisting would get him nowhere but he felt he at least had to say, "Alright. But if you change your mind..."

He was sure an "I won't." had been on the tip of Macaque's tongue before he sighed and said, "I can talk to you about it, I know."

That was probably the best he was going to get and there wasn't too much more to say after that. The monkeys that had stuck around seemed to sense this was the case and had determined now was the perfect time for a grooming session and it was exactly the sort of decompression he needed and he thought he could be forgiven for focusing all his efforts on Macaque.

And the rest of the day was about taking it easy and trying to recapture a sense of normality and, of course, dealing with the hundreds of monkeys that wanted confirmation both he and Macaque were ok.

----

It was a couple of days later that the promised lantern talk took place, prompted by Macaque opening his bedroom door and disappearing into the darkness to grab something. When he came back, Wukong questioned, "I've been meaning to ask - what's with your room? It never used to be impossible to navigate without golden vision."

Macaque took a second to apparently brace himself for this conversation, but he responded, "Side effect of the lantern - that's where I spent most of the time making it and it's where it's kept, sort of."

He raised an eyebrow, "What do you mean "sort of"?"

He sighed, "I mean it's in there but even with your golden vision you won't be able to find it."

The unspoken so don't even try was heard loud and clear and he took issue with it, "Do you think maybe that I should be able to find it? Y'know, in case of an emergency?"

Macaque didn't pull any punches, "I don't trust you not to do something stupid or reckless with it, so no, I don't think you should be able to find it."

Despite his track record, he was irritated at the lack of faith, it's not like he was going to go messing around with it just for fun. But if something happened to Macaque and the lantern was the problem and/or solution then he needed to be able to get his hands on it - risk to himself be damned.

But while he was determined to win this argument, he could be smart about how he went about it. The more he knew, the better he could make his case and acting as if he was taking the moral high ground, he huffed, "Fine. But now's the time to tell me more about it, don't you think?"

Macaque crossed his arms and leaned back against the kitchen counter, clearly on guard even as he agreed, "Fine. What do you want to know?"

Everything, obviously but instead of saying that he nodded towards Macaque's room, "Should I be worried about your room looking like that? Is there more to it than it just being permanently dark?"

He was kicking himself for not questioning it sooner but he was in his room so infrequently that he never remembered to ask.

Macaque looked uncomfortable as he admitted, "I don't think so...?"

Incredulous, he responded, "You mean you don't know?"

Macaque's tail twitched as he hunched over himself defensively, "I still have Red Son check me over regularly - there's nothing to suggest anything is wrong. And neither of us have noticed anything off - I don't think it's harmful and it's not like I spend that much time in there anyway."

His concern made his voice sharper than he intended, "So it's not having an immediate effect but that doesn't mean it's not doing something! You said the other day that using the lantern made you want to go to the Void - what if spending time in your room while it's like that starts getting into your head? Makes you think you want to spend more and more time in the Void until you-!"

He caught himself as he realised how worked up he was getting but the fear that Macaque either couldn't or wouldn't return to him one day terrified him more than anything else.

He took a shaky breath before continuing more calmly, "Sorry, I just- the thought of losing you... How sure are you it's not doing you any harm?"

Macaque seemed to give it some serious thought before standing a little straighter, "I can't be a hundred percent confident but I don't believe it's inherently dangerous. My room and the lantern - they're comforting. Like a memento of something important, or something that feels like it can keep me safe. It's different from actually using the lantern..."

He struggled with the words for a moment, "Using it the way I did felt like it was blurring the line between me and the Void. Shadows don't need to sleep and so I became a little more shadow in order to take advantage of that but it was only temporary. I don't feel any different now that everything is back to normal but I was planning to have Red Son check me over just to make sure. I just wanted to give him a minute before asking him though - he's had a rough time."

He resisted the urge to grab Macaque and shake him, and he was impressed by how level is voice was, "Macaque, I can guarantee that Red Son will not appreciate you "giving him a minute". Open up a portal - we're going to get you checked out right now. I can't believe you didn't say something sooner."

Even as Macaque opened a portal, he argued, "You're overreacting. And I told you about the lantern straight away."

Wukong grabbed his arm and hauled him through the portal, "You told me that it had no side effects!"

"Yeah and as far as I know it doesn't!"

He growled, "I am going to kick your ass once we get home. I can't believe you!"

"We were still dealing with the fallout from the actual crisis this week! Did you forget that MK almost fucking died? Or that the curse hadn't even been lifted half a day when we talked about it? Sorry I was still trying to deal with all of that and didn't want to stress everyone out over nothing!"

He stopped dragging Macaque through the halls so he could turn and look at him with incredulous fury, "Nothing!? Oh, just wait 'til Niú and Gōngzhǔ hear about this! Nothing!? Are you kidding me?"

Macaque didn't even get a chance to retort before they both had to brace themselves against the powerful gust of wind that suddenly blew down the hall, a furious aura appeared before them and he could have sworn Macaque tried to subtly shift to stand behind him as they looked up to see Gōngzhǔ glaring down at them.

----

He, Niú and Gōngzhǔ glared at Macaque as Red Son put him through his usual tests and despite not knowing the reasons behind their ire, Red Son correctly concluded that it must be well deserved and was equally annoyed with his despondent patient.

He had briefly filled Niú and Gōngzhǔ in before they had marched Macaque to Red Son's lab and he was sure once they had another minute alone Macaque was really going to get it.

He never should have postponed the lantern talk - his brain must still have been fried from being sick. He had just been so stressed about everything else that he had taken Macaque at his word when he had implied that there was nothing to worry about.

He didn't think that Macaque had necessarily been lying, just that he had severely misjudged the situation. But he felt his frustration lessen a little as he realised that it was likely that exhaustion and stress had probably done a number on his rational thinking skills too.

Or maybe he had just been trying to convince himself that there was nothing to worry about.

He stopped glaring as he watched Macaque miserably go through the motions. He had been upfront about using the lantern in the first place, and he hadn't shied away from talking about it when Wukong asked and then he'd immediately acquiesced to his demand that they go get him checked out.

Maybe he'd overreacted a little, and having him, Niú and Gōngzhǔ give him a hard time was probably a bit overkill.

He didn't currently have the layer of Macaque's magic on his hand he usually had for social situations but he was sure he would still be able to sense the gesture regardless as he hung his hand by his side and mimicked holding his hand. He let out a near silent chirp just in case however.

After a short delay he felt the false grip of Macaque's hand in his as well as the feeling of a tail wrapped around his own and he thought Macaque looked slightly less defeated thereafter.

Thankfully, the test results didn't take long to decipher and it was to everyone's great relief that there were no notable changes or causes for concern but that didn't mean there wasn't a serious discussion still to be had.

One that Red Son clearly wanted to be a part of but had absolutely no chance of getting in on. They all thanked him sincerely for his help however.

He walked closely beside Macaque, holding his hand, as they made their way to a more private venue. The positive result had significantly reduced the tension in the air and Macaque in particular looked like he was back in control of the situation.

Once they were all comfortably seated in one of the fortress's many living areas, Gōngzhǔ didn't hesitate to get straight to the point, "The lantern. Where is it?"

Macaque was not cowed by her tone, "Forget it. You're not getting your hands on it."

Her eyes glowed faintly, "You clearly cannot be trusted with it - it will be better kept under our protection."

Niú added gruffly, "Why not just destroy it? What use does it have?"

Gōngzhǔ responded, "Destroying artefacts is risky - we would have to have Red Son analyse it thoroughly before we could consider it."

Macaque's tail whipped in agitation, "No-one is touching my lantern, let alone giving it to Red Son to mess with. The full usefulness of the lantern has yet to be understood but it hasn't proven to be dangerous." He paused and then added, "To me anyway."

Gōngzhǔ glared at him, "And how can we trust you not to use it recklessly?"

Macaque argued, "Because I haven't used it recklessly - I haven't even used it for it's intended purpose, which is to keep me functioning if I can't get to the Void for whatever reason, because I haven't needed to! You think I don't remember what happened when I got careless with my last lantern? I'm not going to make the same mistake!"

He chimed in, "Wait, hold on! What happened with your last lantern?"

Macaque didn't break his stare down with Gōngzhǔ as he explained, "Got greedy - stored too much magic and tried to use it all at once. Power overload."

Well, he was certainly going to be asking more about that later but he had to say Macaque was pretty good at learning from his mistakes and at risk assessing a situation so he was feeling a little more inclined to take his side, to a certain degree at least.

He nodded, "Alright, we'll come back to that. I don't think the lantern needs to be taken away but I do think we need to be able to find it in case of an emergency and maybe set up some rules for it's use? Like, telling one of us before you do something experimental with it? You didn't even know that it would work the way it did!"

He could tell Macaque didn't love these suggestions but he wasn't getting out of this without making some kind of compromise.

Niú nodded, "And how you used the lantern this time was reckless. You forced Red Son to rest but didn't hold yourself to the same standard. I don't believe the outcome would have been different had you not used it."

Macaque looked particularly affected by Niú's words and he retorted a little sharply, "I had to take care of Wukong!"

Gōngzhǔ was unsympathetic, "He would have survived either way."

He couldn't help but glare at her - it was true but he couldn't imagine how much worse that nightmare would have been without Macaque there.

Niú was less harsh but still pointed out, "You could have brought him back here, had him tended to by our physicians and focused your attentions entirely on finding a way to lift the curse."

It was hard to argue with that but he felt himself pale slightly at the thought of being seen in that condition. But surely Macaque hadn't kept him on the island just to save his pride?

Macaque stood firm, "No. It can't get out that there are ways for mortals to fell the Monkey King, even temporarily. And we couldn't take the risk that his powers wouldn't act up - even just his magic fluctuating could have been detrimental to Red Son's work and put others in danger."

He nodded resolutely in back up. He was totally right - he wasn't sure it ever got to dangerous levels but his magic definitely had been acting up and the stress of being in an unfamiliar environment, with unfamiliar people could have seriously exacerbated the situation.

Gōngzhǔ wasn't appeased, "We could have handled him. Your excuses don't measure up to the unnecessary risk you took."

As much as he technically agreed, she'd already pissed him off and nothing she said now could have him on her side. He was firmly on team Macaque.

Thankfully however Niú cut in before he could say anything inflammatory, "Gōngzhǔ is right - this whole situation could have been avoided had you talked to us - we could have worked together to find a solution. To that end, I believe Wukong's solution is the correct one - safety measures to ensure this does not happen again."

Macaque was fighting a losing battle but he still fought to the bitter end. He was able to concede that in this specific situation there had been other options but he argued he wasn't always going to have the liberty of conversing with someone in a crisis situation, there had to be exceptions.

They went back and forth for a while and eventually came to a tentative, if not begrudging, agreement about how and when the lantern should be used but Macaque would not shift on letting them have unfettered access to it - no matter how many times they promised they wouldn't look for it unless there was no other option.

And it was getting to the point where he and Niú were almost having to hold back their respective significant others to stop them tearing each other's throats out.

With a shared glance, they both decided it was better to adjourn this discussion and return to it with cooler heads. No sooner had it been suggested was he being pulled through a shadow portal and landing on their couch. He could only watch as Macaque paced agitatedly in front of him.

It took some time for him to stop spitting insults at Gōngzhǔ but when he did he turned to him with a determined look in his eyes, "I'll seal the lantern so it can't be used as a gateway to the Void for souls. Once I've done that, you can have access to it."

He wasn't agreeing to that - that was his ticket to reaching Macaque if he couldn't return from the Void - but he also knew that Macaque wasn't going to be able to make good on that plan anytime soon, if he even could.

So he didn't argue, "We can talk about it more once we've both chilled out, alright? I don't know about you but I am all kinds of wound up after that talk. Can we just take a minute? Please?"

For a moment, Macaque looked ready to argue but instead he just sagged and made his way over and slumped next to him on the couch before tipping over and curling up with his head on his lap, looking exceptionally defeated.

He couldn't help but feel a little bad - that had been a lot more intense than he had been expecting but he was also pretty impressed with how well Macaque held his own in the face of the three of them giving him a hard time.

He started to run his hand through Macaque's hair, hoping he himself wasn't so frazzled that his magic wasn't having the soothing effect he was going for.

They were silent for some time before Macaque said, "I'm glad I did it. Now I know that my body is more resilient than I had thought. I embraced the Void and it was only temporary - I didn't lose myself for tipping my hand."

He frowned, "This isn't your way of saying the lantern is ok to use because I thought you agreed that-"

Macaque shook his head, "No, I still shouldn't use it unnecessarily but it just makes me feel better about the Void in general - like it can't claim me as easily as I thought. That there's more give and take to it than I had allowed myself to consider."

He mulled that over - if it helped Macaque come to terms with his fear then he was all for it but he just hoped it didn't also encourage to take more risks, because he's not sure his blood pressure could handle it.

--Chapter End--

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#lmk #lego monkie kid #lmk fanfiction #my fanfiction #originally posted on ao3 #tumblr fic #lmk macaque #lmk sun wukong #lmk monkey king #au: shadow (lmk)#lmk shadowpeach #shadowpeach #lmk mk #lmk red son #lmk demon bull king #lmk princess iron fan

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heckinhacker · 2 years ago

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hi so i was wondering if u could do one like “Eric Cartman x Reader - South Park's days are OVER.” but with kyle, like they are the same and everything, idk if u have already done it

Kyle Broflovski x Reader - South Park might be saved, after all??

Which means we get the version where Kyle meets someone similiar to himself! It's like a 'sequel', (but not really, more like an alternative version with same trope) to “Eric Cartman x Reader - South Park's days are OVER.”

Remember that when I write for South Park, they're teenagers at less(16 y/o minimum), adults at most! it's silly i write it every south park post but better safe than sorry~

I gave Kyle green color for easier reading experience in dialogues!

note: color code might be broken because lately tumblr on pc is being silly goofy

Kyle had a great grasp of how fucked up situations in south park are having occurances

Aaand he's pretty aware there will be noone else who understands him.

Or so he thought.

There is a new student announced to be in his class while you all were in 4th grade or so?

And you seemed not too quiet, nor too shy, but surely smart enough not to push yourself into any weird situations.

Teacher sat you both together and Kyle tries to talk you up-

"Hey! I'm Kyle, it's refreshing to have a new face around. Want to play with us on long break?"

It's nice to have a new group to play with, so you agree.

Ah, kids and their not complicated feelings, right? <3

You tag along, and you grew really quickly to dislike Cartman-

It's not hard to hate him he's UNBEARABLE,

Kyle wants to let out his signature "Shut up, fatass!"

but you beat him to it-

"Shut up, fatso, mama did not taught you to behave, or was she absent in your life like yo papa?"

You had NO idea he's fatherless and it made other guys go "OOOHHHH--"

you made yourself an enemy in Cartman,

but an ally in Kyle.

You seemed to have similiar nerdy interests,

From playing Stick of Truth and heroes,

to DnD (that he played online, because not with his group-- but he invited you into his new online session!!)

Beside Terrance and Philip, Kyle also liked that vampire/werewolf series called "Under Devil's grasp" that seemed mostly for girls or boring, yet he liked it in secret and once he caught you watching first episodes, just...because,

and then joined you, for his own re-watch and your first watch, he liked seeing how you reacted

"HOW COULD YOU?" you asked out of sudden once, in a call,

"How could I what?" Kyle asks, having you on speaker while he does his homework.

" YOU KNEW ALL THE TIME THAT BARRY WILL BE KILLED AND YOU DID NOTHING TO WARN ME, I GREW TO LOVE HIM AND NOW HE'S GONE."

"Well, you said no spoilers?"

"KYLE."

He giggles, "Plus he had death flags since always so-"

He's playing, it turns out Barry barely lived and hid for like season and a half to return in dramatical moment that he watched with you and you SCREAMED.

And he has a blast with your reactions <3

And so on, you bond over similiarities,

Over years you put many blood, sweat and tears into your friendship, and you're glued by hip. Kyle won't ever pick between you and Stan who is his closer friend, it would be even cruel to ask.

You two got along decently, good, not badly, but it always seemed you're more closer with Kyle than Stan.

You grew beside each other and your families became one, big family because of how close you've gotten between each other and made them grow closer. (Or not if your relation with them is bad)

No matter your family (or your own) relligion, you spend Hanukkah with Kyle and it's almost a norm of you being around.

Listen, Ike? Absolutely adores you. Kyle sometimes has a laugh your'e more of an older sibling than he is.

(Absolute bull, we all know Ike loves Kyle the most <3)

Kyle's family wanted to make little ride to nearest amusement park

Of course they suggested you go too! You're a part of the family already <3

You have the fun of your lives, all of you. Kyle's parents mostly chill around but you, Kyle and Ike are using all the activities possible while you can, stuffing yourselves with snacks and sweets.

Bad idea, if you'd ask me

You went to roller coaster and none of you paid no mind in that choice,

but Kyle's stomach DID pay a mind

Especially in a middle where he felt like throwing out

And hell, he did! But he took out his hat and puked int oit so noone got blessed with mix of dinner and snacks.

He was almost carried out of the roller coaster by you--

You decided to go to ferris wheel and call it after a day.

They were two-people cabin on the wheel, so Ike let you two have one while he went with some other random kid.

Ike is your biggest wingman, he did that on purpose of course. Little guy <3

When you're up high, alone, with Kyle, having option to look at all the view, you can't help but to look at little buildings under you, and then to take a peak at Kyle.

Oh boy, were you surprised when you met his gaze-

He blushed furiously and muttered "Sorry- Uh- did not mean to stare."

Of course - you did not mind, but that was SURPRISING.

You did not bother him about it though. Whatever he had in mind - nothing, or something, he will come around.

But you might've realised that you DO have feelings towards your childhood best friend. For sure.

You remember how I mentioned your shared liked series with Kyle, "Under Devil's grasp" ? Soo...

Imagine it was near end, and studio decided to make finale into movie, two and half hour long one.

It's a series you two follow since you were kids, OF COURSE you have to be there in the cinema.

You ride with Kyle to big city, with his freshly acquired driver license and shitty car of his.

You enjoy your WHOLE drive there, time spent in bigger city, it all was just amazing.

Series, even though it was mostly about vampires and werewolves, was called "Under Devil's grasp" and it's very questionable, for years there were just theories, yet the movie after all those years of content literally ended with said title as last words.

Y'all were crying already enough but it was such a HIT in the face

When you walked out of cinema you whipped your tears out of your eyes, so did Kyle, as you giggled and gushed about the ending of your beloved series.

Ride home was mixed, going from peaceful to chaotic, just atosphere was...magical. Lights of highway, music blasting loudly and Kyle jamming to it, while you take a glance with full adoration at him.

You sing a little, then you rest and sooner than later end up in South Park.

Kyle drives to your house first to drop you off, walks out of car to walk you to your door, and gazes at you.

"Thank you...for today. I had fun! I hope you did too."

"I did, you kidding me? Thanks for even offering. I...really appreciate it."

Kyle seems to hesitate, and then sighs deeply.

"...I love you."

" Yeah, good night to you too man- oh wait what the fuck-??"

"I...wanted to say so, and today's spent time with you made me realise I'd hate you to spend the day out of South Park with someone else. I'd hate for you to have late-night drives with somebody else, I'd hate to see you happy with somebody else because...well, I wish you stayed with me. Of course I mean- have fun with others, I just...I wish you'd keep your heart on my hands. It's fine if you'd prefer to stay friends, I hope it doesn't break our friendship. But I uh...I wanted to let you know."

...that was...a lot. Wow."

He thinks it's a rejection, but...

It's not, really

You grab his cheeks and kiss him before he can get into tangent of self-doubt.

Then smile at him,

and say:

"Information saved. Let's grab something to eat tommorow together too, alright, boyfriend?"

You smile and wave him away goodnight and closed your door.

...

"...boyfriend?"

He's so giddy pls <3

Other's reactions:

Ike:

FUCKING FINALLY 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALO.

My little dude was waiting for the moment you hold hands and kiss each other already for TOO LONG

I mean, don't kiss too much in front of him he'd gag, it's still his older brother we're talking about

but at least Kyle pinning over you days are OVER.

He congratulates you and gives you gift cards of "congratulations on marriage!" drew with crayons and pencils

My man Ike is an anime fan, he made you badass gift card <3

Stan:

Not surprised but surprised at the same time.

He's second biggest fan, first being Ike

He learned the news from Kyle himself the same night you became a thing, later Ike hit him up because he was excited BSHSH

He hears Kyle out and congratulates him A LOT

Kenny:

He kind off knew? everyone kind off knew but he was sure you were already dating so...

news were shocking because

"Weren't you dating already? damn-"

he was sure you're married and expecting a kid/j

he doesn't have strong reaction because, as I said, it's not much of a news for him not going to lie

Cartman:

He always tried taking away whatever Kyle loved the most

So he's salty he failed this time

He always makes you both miserable, with slightest show of affection he is making big clown show out of it

Enough that just guys ask you to STOP with PDA because Cartman is being fucking annoying

He's just that salty single friend man for sure <3

Lemme be honest, it's not one of my best works, but I have (I am in a middle of...) 9 days streak of work straight, I am exhausted beyond human belief, but maybe because my ability to hold my ground is shitty, thanks depreshon--

So yes, It's not my best piece, but it was pretty much expected, so :>

I wanted to tag @bath1lda because of "kyle kyle" spam ask hehe- I hope you, and everyone else who read it, a nice "have a good read" :>

#hacker writes #headcanons #south park #south park x reader #kyle #kyle brovlofski #kyle broflovski x reader #south park kyle x reader #sp kyle #sp kyle x reader

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identityarchitect · 3 months ago

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because im a nosy bitch who has distaste for current plural culture I'd love to hear your thoughts on current plural culture

(for me. the amount of information thats acceptable and expected to be shared will be the DEATH of my sanity)

Oh, jesus, where do I even begin. This got unexpectedly long so I'm going to put it under a cut.

Like you said, the amount of information shared is scary. Both because there are like 13yo recently discovered plurals who get this idea that it's a good or necessary thing to share as much information as possible about ones system, and nobody ever uses the privacy features on PK. It's one thing to keep track of info about headmates and another thing entirely to be posting a whole list of front triggers in a headmate-intros discord channel.

Speaking of headmate intros, I kind of have a love/hate relationship with the complicated description templates. On the one hand, I do like it when stuff is pretty. But on the other hand, there's a lot of kind of casual ableism/sanism in the plural community, as much as we'd want to pride ourselves on being relatively free of it. Fancy description templates, typing quirks, special characters in headmate displaynames, are all inaccessible to people using screenreaders or anyone with issues reading. And I try to be understanding to people with typing quirks because we have a few headmates with interesting ways of communicating and I get it, but like, you've really gotta provide a translation.

There's also just the way people interact with each other? Consistently using tons of tone tags, not asking about you& preferences (which tbf, in an ideal world preferences on you& are part of a generic introduction like preferences on headmates/alters/sysmates/parts and system/plural/etc). Trying to tag for every single possible trigger.

A lot of very large plural spaces (and frankly any large space that tries to account for triggers) end up with this issue where at some point, the trigger list is just too long. People aren't going to remember it, so anyone who is anxious about censoring correctly (which is everyone, because current plural culture has this way of making anxiety significantly worse) is going to be double-checking the list every five seconds, or just decide participating in conversation outside of more lax areas, like tw- channels, isn't worth it.

So they have to make a choice between cutting down the existing list, examining things and deciding if they're a common enough trigger (or bad enough, or if the user is in the server enough, or whatever the metric is) to remain on the list: or, they simply continue expanding the list and try to make it easier for people to censor or reference the list. But if they cut down on the list you inevitably have people who are like "wait, why is fires on there but not birthday parties? there's only one person in the server who's triggered by fires but five who are triggered by birthday parties", or "why did [obscure, situation-specific trigger] get removed? isn't it just as serious?" and etc.

And then there's moderation teams, which are... ok, let me make a venn diagram.

(No shade to teenagers. There are probably good teenage mods out there. I just haven't met them.)

Speaking from personal experience here, a lot of plural discord moderation relies on the current plural culture, which skews itself towards being extremely polite and nice and understanding so as to avoid unintentionally upsetting other people. (This is another one of the ways in which plural culture can and often does end up exacerbating anxiety & anxiety-adjacent behaviours/disorders like OCD.) So you have this discord server that doesn't really need moderation aside from admin stuff like adding channels or bots and pinning messages that regular users don't have the permissions to do. Then some person comes in and they're regularly talking about triggers out of the blue, acting aggressive towards other users, and because everyone wants to be polite and accepting, this user doesn't get dealt with for a very long time, especially because the mods just have no idea how to actually moderate. They don't have the confidence to make verdicts and use the power they have, and kick/ban users when necessary.

In essence, current plural culture wants to treat and trust every stranger like a close friend. You can run a discord server with little to no rules and give everyone admin permissions and whatever the hell: it's just got to be a closed friend discord server full of people that you know well enough to trust. And not only does this make plural spaces vulnerable to bad actors, it also makes them very uncomfortable to be in, as an aplatonic person who really doesn't want randos on the internet acting like we're childhood besties.

In that same vein, is it just me or does everyone and their mother seem to want a partner system? It's been actual years atp since I've been in a plural server that's actually active but there's this weird romantic overtone where any other system could be a potential partner system if you become emotionally close enough to them. Then if you're aro, or romance repulsed, or just not looking to date, or in a relationship already and not poly (which also, I get that dating as a system is a vastly different experience from dating as a singlet, but not everyone is poly), it feels like they just switch to a QPR instead of a romantic relationship? IDK, maybe that's me projecting since I'm QPR-repulsed. But it feels like the primary assumption for 'emotionally close' is 'romance or QPR' in plural spaces, in a way that feels different from regular amatonormativity. IDK it probably is just regular amatonormativity. But you'd think plurals would have deconstructed it even a little bit, right, since dating as a plural is such a vastly different experience. Whatever.

And canonmates. God. Ugh. Ughghhghj,. Look I get the inherent loneliness that comes with being an introject that has strong exomemories, but the resolution to this is not "try and start a relationship with a stranger who you only share one quality with (i.e remembering the same things from source)". Dear god. I have a not very good relationship with canonmates, since an ex of ours would in essence use them against us, but like. Augh.

And spiritual systems. The other day I saw a post on the plural subreddit that was like "Does anyone else live a double life?" and it was this introject describing the disparity between their IRL life and their in-headspace life. But they didn't clarify that it was in headspace and not like, an alternate world or something, so there was a comment being like "Uh, this is a dangerous lack of source separation." FUCKING source separation. I always get so mad at source separation.

I hate to label ourselves but our experiences most closely align with the general idea behind spiritual systems (this is as close as we will get to a concrete label). And it really seems to me that people will bring up spiritual systems as a gotcha against sysmeds and anti-endos, since the DSM technically validates spiritual systems by explicitly excluding them from the diagnostic criteria, and then turn around and act like spiritual systems either don't exist, or are delusional. (This is what I was thinking about earlier when I said the plural community has something of a sanism problem.)

Everyone assumes that in order for an introject to be healthy, they must have a degree of source separation, must be able to go "Yes, I know I am not my source, I recognise I will never be my source, etc". And if an introject can't, it's inherently dangerous and bad for them and the system must (even potentially against the introjects' will) make efforts to separate them from their source.

But even aside from all the sanist implications there, this completely falls apart when you think about spiritual systems. What about gateway systems, who do have headmates come from outside of the body? What about soulbonds, who are that character in their own universe? What about systems who don't want to prove that they're spiritual enough to be exempt from this 'if you think of yourself as your source in any way you are delusional and must be treated' BS?

Our V1 is literally V1 the robot from Ultrakill. This has never caused issues for it, or for us. I don't predict that it's going to.

Like, wasn't the general narrative around introjects "they have differing amounts of separation, differing opinions, and differing connections to their source. above all else, you should treat introjects like people, and ask them if you have questions about how they want to be treated!"? For ages it feels like that was the narrative, and now it's "introjects should be separated from their source, although they're allowed to have whatever opinion on it. in order to treat an introject like a person, you must acknowledge they're not literally a fictional character every fucking pictosecond".

There is definitely a lot more that I probably have to say on the topic but that's all I can think of right now.

Oh wait ok hold on I'm back because I remembered roles and origins and got mad again. Origins my most beloathed.

I could talk about the traumagenic/endogenic binary and how it's complete BS and even when we could be considered traumagenic we still had headmates that weren't traumagenic in origin, and how endogenic systems of all kinds can and often do have trauma that does and doesn't impact their system functioning, and trauma impacts systems in so many more ways than just if Sonic the Hedgehog showed up because you were being abused or just for the sake of being there, and 90% of the apparently well-meaning endo-ok sysmeds that talk about the necessecity of separate traumagenic and endogenic spaces are actually talking about disordered and nondisordered systems and EVEN THEN it's STILL a fake binary, but people more eloquent than me have probably gone over that.

I hate the assumption that every system has origins. We don't, and we're never going to. Even with the general idea being "nobody needs to tell you their origins and if you pressure them you're a dick" there's this expectation of knowing or labelling your origins. If you know your origins, you should be able to label them. If you don't know your origins, there are labels for that. What if someone doesn't give a shit? And again, what about spiritual systems, who don't have origins for other reasons?

Ok, I also just went and found some DMs with a friend so here's me quoting myself:

"it feels to us like the plural community doesnt strictly expect or want noncomplex plurality or a noncomplex relationship to ones plurality, but that these are sort of entry requirements to plural discord servers and other similar spaces"

"it feels like theres a collection of behaviours that you havr to perform like being in plural discord servers has always felt close to masking for us"

AGH AND PROBLEMATIC INTROJECTS. FUCK I HAVE SO MUCH MORE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT.

Roles are kind of similar to origins, imo, where it's this very simplistic and false structure and there's a pressure to box oneself and ones headmates into it. Like even when people acknowledge roleless systems, it feels like that's all they acknowledge, y'know? Like in their head there's systems where every headmate has a specific purpose and performs it to a T, and there's systems where this isn't the case. When it's so much more complex than that. For example: us! We're primarily roleless, and the things each headmate does is more like a volunteer job than a role, y'know. Except for this one headmate who found a role on Pluralpedia and went "that's me" and now it has a role.

It also feels like there's a specific set of roles each system should have, right? Like there's this idea that even if a system doesn't label or have roles, they still have the protective headmate who gets righteously angry on others' behalf, and the stressed and overworked caretaker, and the littles who use uwu-speak, and the serious and scary gatekeeper, and it's the nuclear family isn't it. They've recreated the nuclear family. One father and one mother and two and a half kids and the 'friendly' neighbourhood cop. Jesus. (The host can be the grandparents.)

And more than that there's... okay, right, how do I word this one.

Let's think about layers. Layers are distinct areas in headspace where different groups of headmates tend to reside. Beyond the base assumption that everyone has a consistent, laid-out, easily accessible headspace, there's this weird overtone that a system without layers is like, a system without layers yet, right? Like the two types of system are "systems that have layers" and "systems that don't have layers, but could" and there's no space for "systems that can't have layers". I think that's kind of what I'm getting at with the origins and roles bit, right? People nominally accept systems that don't have origins or roles, but there's this sense that what they're actually accepting is "systems that have origins" and "systems that have origins, just not public ones" or "systems that have roles" and "systems that have roles, and just don't label them".

This ties into the spiritual system bit, I think. It's not "psychological systems" and "spiritual systems" (which is still a false binary), it's "psychological systems" and "systems that believe they're spiritual systems" or "psychological systems whose spiritual beliefs impact their systemhood". Even when mentioning and talking about gateway systems and soulbonders people don't seem to be able to take those people at face value, regardless of their own personal beliefs on the matter. Maybe we're just hanging out in the wrong places.

The true originless roleless headspaceless spiritual system (i.e, US AGAIN) is a nonentity. There is no space for us to exist in the plural community because the predominant plural culture simply cannot comprehend that we exist.

Problematic introjects ... Like, how can you insist introjects must be treated like people, and must feel and consider themselves to be a distinct, separate entity from their source, and then also call them problematic? I hate the word problematic anyway but even moreso when the label is applied to every introject of whichever fucking minecraft youtuber turned out to be an abuser this time. Can't we just leave introjects alone? Fucking hell.

Anyway yeah. It sucks here.

#long post #long ass post dear god #answered asks #plural culture conversation

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