#also i'm kind of. bringing up the topic recently to my mom

[witchwhaat]

not me joining chan's live just as someone commented smth like "hey i'm 25 and i still haven't found my path and it's kinda weighting me down sometimes" 👁👄👁

[tremendouskoalachild]

Isabela Merced talked about tlou in a recent interview promoting her new movie, so i transcribed that part

Correct me if I’m wrong – are you in the middle of The Last of Us right now? Are you basically taking a break for press?

We are on the tail end of it, I think we're about to be done soon. I already saw the teaser, Craig Mazin showed it to me. It was phenomenal, and I’m really excited for the world to see it.

I got a chance to do the podcast with Craig after last season. I know you must now be an amazing fan, that guy's a genius. He's amazing and such a sweet guy. Did you go hard after this one? Were you a fan of the game?

Yeah, yeah. I never played the first one, I probably will after this. But the second one I played, and I loved it. And it was really cool to see how the sets look exactly the same. It's so neat. Every day on set is challenging, I will say. It's a show about fungus. So it's not glamorous by any means, and it's hard topics and conversations. Fear is one of the main emotions that we experience throughout. And I'm really proud of Bella. I think if I were to close this out, if this was the last interview I did about The Last of Us before he wrapped, I would say, you know, I really hope Bella gets their flowers. They're working really, really hard, physically and emotionally, mentally. One thing I've learned throughout this is like, wow, you can really admire people who are younger than you. You can really look up to them, absolutely.

Yeah, no, Bella is a special one. I also spoke to them after the first season and just the intense scrutiny too and, you know, there's toxicity out there. The stuff that you guys have to deal with, it's crazy. Just let the great actors act, and Bella is a great one.

Well, what confuses me is the showrunner and the creator of the video game, they work together to make this. So if you like what the guy made and he's making more of it, why are you mad? I don't know, I'm too opinionated to be on twitter. Like, I really need off, because I see this stuff, and it makes me just want to go Cardi B on them, you know what I mean?

I'm worried about your buddy Kaitlyn, Kaitlyn Dever, one of the great actors of our time. Abby – no spoilers – does some things that people don't necessarily approve of. Kaitlyn’s going to get some hate through proxy of just being Abby.

There's so many strange people in this world. There are people that actually, genuinely, hate Abby, who is not a real person. Just a reminder – not a real person. And so, you know, Kaitlyn had to be extra-secured by security when it came to the filming of this. Kaitlyn is such a cool person who just does not get phased by things, really has her head in the right place, and also is going through a lot right now, personally.

I know she lost her mom, yeah.

Yeah, it's devastating to see. But also, give her the damn Emmy, honestly. I’m so excited for people to see how incredibly well Bella and Kaitlyn did on this.

And obviously the relationship between Ellie and Dina is important. I assume you guys screen tested as well, you and Bella?

Oh, no actually. Craig and Neil came to me for a “generic meeting”, as they say. And I was like, okay. Then they kind of mentioned the show and how there's a character there that maybe… and I thought oh, even if the meeting goes well, I'll still have to audition and I'll do my research and whatever. And I guess they decided there and then that they wanted me. So that's wild. I don't even think I believe in myself that much. So I'm like, okay, sure, I'll accept it.

Is there something that you've shot that you're most excited for fans to see? I know we have a long way to go before we see it, but something that you took part in that you can't wait for the fandom to see?

I think it's the romance for me. I think it's the romance between the two of us that really brings a tear to my eye. I have a whole playlist for Dina and Ellie. It's beautiful, there's this one song that we would play on set, that I would play on set and that Bella really loved, by Adrianne Lenker, that really set the tone for us. It's beautiful. I think they did a really good job.

[crime-wives]

13, 26, 27, please!

thank you for the ask!

13. What is a subject matter that is incredibly difficult for you write about? What is easy?

oh wow, starting off with a tough one lol. hmm ok, i have a few fics dealing with self-harm, a topic incredibly personal to me. it's very difficult for me to write about, but simultaneously easy. i think the hard part about it is feeling like i need to be in a certain headspace when i'm writing about topics like that. and that headspace is often harmful for me. however, it's also easy to write about because i know how it feels so it kinda brings me a lot of catharsis. for example, in my most recent fic, my sky's not blue (it's violent rain) (absolutely shameless self-promo, heed the tags!) i struggled a lot with actually finishing it. my lovely friend @emily-prentits let me rant in their dms about it :)

26. How do you get into your character’s head? How do you get out? Do you ever regret going in there in the first place?

to get into a character's head i constantly ask myself "what would they do if this happened?" i also try and think about where they are in the story and how they act. for example, s1 regina mills is completely different from s4 regina mills. so it really helps to contextualize where i want them to be in their arc. getting out is usually pretty easy because i tend to write in short, sporadic burst, rather than well-planned thought-out writing sessions. usually after i write, i'll read fic for a bit to transition away from writing mode™. sometimes i do regret going there, especially for my heavier fics, because of the headspace i have to be in to write those. but i find ways to deal with it.

27. Who is the most stressful character you’ve ever written? Why?

i would say either regina mills or addison montgomery.

addison is SO complex, she has so many different facets that a writer can choose to explore and it's really interesting to see how these often contradictory pieces fit together. an example of this is her cheating, she knows what she did was wrong, she regrets it, but she also tries to justify it. she's stressful to write because i always think i'm going to mess up her characterization.

regina is also stressful to write because she is like twenty different people in one. she's regina mills: mayor of a small cursed town in maine, fierce and unwilling to back down and also kind of a bitch. she's the evil queen: sadistic and vengeful and she doesn't care for anyone or anything. she young regina: tormented and abused, yet still and idealist at heart. seeking love and watching it crumble to pieces. she's leopold's wife: a child bride forced to mother a girl only a few years younger than herself. she's angry and trapped and so very alone. finally, she's henry's mom: caring and protective and loving with her whole heart. so it's really interesting to see how all these versions of regina affect her. which parts of her are which? when writing regina, all of these things are present, lurking in her subconscious. so it's extremely difficult to capture all of it without it coming off as too much or heavy handed.

anyway, i am so sorry for how long this got, i got a little carried away lol :)

[waitineedaname]

thought I should collect my vague fma/mp100 thoughts here to make it easier to have them all in one place !

basic plot/character stuff

ed and al are both talented young psychics who got their powers when they were pretty young. ed got his powers around the time their dad (a CRAZY powerful psychic) left, and al got his shortly after their mom died :(

they thought they could use their powers to bring their mom back as a spirit, but it went. very bad. instead, an evil spirit took advantage of them and started fucking Eating Their Life Forces. al freaked out and astral projected out of panic, but his entire body was consumed so now he's. stuck like that. ed managed to exorcise the spirit, but not until after his arm and leg are devoured too

their motivation is to get rid of evil spirits that take advantage of people and hurt them like this, which is what takes them to roy mustang's door

roy mustang is a fake psychic pretending to have pyrokinesis (he just has a flamethrower behind his desk) because I think that's funny. he's running an exorcism business like spirits and such, except he has a larger crew -- mostly his friends he can call up to do odd jobs for him, like fixing the leaky pipes that make noises that make people think their house is haunted or whatever. he's also the only exorcism business that's willing to hire a teenager, so that's how the elrics end up working for him

in addition to mustang's crew of non-psychics, he also has hughes, who is tragically a ghost. there is definitely some tragic back story here that I'm still working on hashing out, but they've kind of come to terms about it now. he still haunts his family, who know he's there, and he agrees to help out mustang with Actual Spirit Issues when the elrics are unavailable

the elrics' quest to deal with manipulative evil spirits leads them to encounter the sins, who are all very powerful evil spirits. one of the first ones they deal with is greed, who they mostly exorcise, but he manages to just barely survive, dimple style. he's looking for ways to bring himself back up to full power

enter: ling yao, recently awakened psychic who is also looking for ways to become more powerful. he keeps over-exerting his psychic powers and exhausting himself, which is how the elrics come across him mostly unconscious. he's very excited to meet another esper, but he makes the mistake of asking why al doesn't possess ed, since he knows that can enhance someone's psychic powers. the elrics are both Very Sensitive about that kind of topic and tell him to fuck Right Off

bad idea, because then he goes and finds a spirit of his own. both he and greed approach their mutually beneficial consensual possession situation for self-serving reasons. both of them look at each other and think "yeah I can definitely manipulate this guy into making me more powerful" [fast forward a couple months to when they've become Extremely attached to each other] oopsies

lan fan is a telepath. ling did not know this, so he tried to act soooo normal about being possessed around her. that didn't work for long, jackass! she got so fucking angry with him when she heard a literal devil on his shoulder, and even though ling stopped her from destroying greed, that evil spirit is on THIN ICE.

scar's family was killed in a psychic terrorist incident (think kimblee if he was part of claw). he's one of those really late bloomer espers -- it wasn't until this traumatic event that his psychic powers awoke, and he hates them because of the link to the event. now he's on his vengeance based quest, going after psychics that abuse their powers

things I'm still working out the details for

mustang was involved in some high profile fuck-up. kind of like separation arc reigen except uhhh people Died. hughes was likely one of those people. no one has enough proof to outright prove he did it, but he is definitely linked to the event, especially because he was a pretty public psychic figure at the time. in reality, it was the fault of the sins, but it's harder to find evidence when it was evil spirits doing it

olivier + the rest of briggs are an anti-psychic terrorism government agency (kinda like joseph) and initially scar is one of their targets, but they end up recruiting him bc they have a common goal

eventually scar starts working at spirits and such (olivier's assignment so he can keep an eye on mustang) but he fucking hates it. oh my god I cannot emphasize how much he hates it. imagine reigen serizawa and mob at spirits and such except none of them can stand each other. that's mustang, scar, and ed having to work together.

mei is also a psychic! she kind of latches onto both scar and alphonse (separately) because she needs some help killing someone. they have very different reactions to this.

the someone she's trying to kill is father, a super powerful psychic who's been orchestrating much of the psychic terrorism, as well as directing the sins. he's like if toichiro had a specialty for spirit wrangling like matsuo

miscellaneous au details

ed and al's auras (and al's spirit form) are mostly gold, ed's leaning more coppery and al's more of a green-gold. ed's kind of has the look of fire crackling around him. ling's aura is a blend of red and purple and has a kind of watercolor/bruise look. it's more vibrant and has more purple when greed is possessing him. mei's is mostly pink with some red.

mob psycho spirits range from completely abstract to mostly humanoid and frequently have multiple forms in between. hughes looks mostly humanoid most of the time, but can go simplified and silly when gushing about his family. al has a more powerful form that looks like the full suit of armor but he doesn't like using it very often, so most of the time he's a long blob that's just kind of armor shaped (like when the armor is simplified for silly moments). greed at full power looked like the ultimate shield, after being weakened he looks more like a dimple-like blob that resembles the face in ling's mindscape. when possessing ling and both of them are using their powers, ling gets lines on his face like on the ultimate shield (like dimple's cheek spots!)

other spirits: pride looks how you'd expect. horrible shadow spirit. envy bodysnatches a lot. wrath has been possessing a politician for Literal Decades. it's no good. I'm not sure about the other sins

people's feelings on possession range from the elrics (Fuck No), to hughes and mustang (if necessary to get a job done), to greedling (they like it like this actually)

the rockbells aren't psychics but they live kinda adjacent to the psychic world bc theyre family friends with the elrics + hohenheim, so they know more than most about psychic powers

[ssstardust3001]

☕

God. I want to rant about how I could have really died as a child due to the fact that no one was remotely qualified to look after me in a medical sense due to Starfleet's lack of training at the time for beings that aren't human? Sure, back when I was a kid, they did a lot of training in human medicine, but anyone that wasn't human required a "specialist" on the ship my father raised me on.

Admittedly his crew was 99.99% human, which is kinda....ehhh....I'm not going to go into that topic for this rant on how there was and still is a remarkable lack of diversity on starships at this point in time in the 23rd century. It was worse when I was a kid since I was on a starship that only had maybe one person who wasn't human and that was my best friend's mom who was Andorian, though my friend was only half Andorian... Also on how you really shouldn't bring children on these kinds of ships even if you have no one who could look after them due to lack of family or friends or any other caregivers who could step up. Especially if these children have telepathic capabilities and senses more acute than a human's........... -he shudders at a memory briefly-

But yeah, not talking about that. I realized recently that I very much could have fucking died, and it would have been so easy. They were so unqualified to take care of me medically that I really didn't get regular checkups until I went to Starfleet for my first ever real physical. Oh! Oh! There's also the fact that I usually have to donate my own blood to be used for myself when I go on dangerous away missions because human blood would absolutely fucking kill me and most starships did not and still do not regularly carry my blood type on hand.

Anyway, I'm just very salty about all of this.

I'm just glad I didn't need any major surgeries as a child because we were often too far out from anywhere civilized or who would know of Vulcan anatomy well enough to be qualified.

Anyway, I found out that the Chief Medical Officer who'd served on my father's ship while I was a child was arrested for malpractice while I was in Starfleet Academy. The guy also barely got licensed and had to take the test five or six times before he got one.

So yeah...

Hmmmmm....

That's why I'm missing a lot of information in my medical files. And why I'm...not the most confident or trusting when it comes to Starfleet doctors. I was missing soooooo many necessary vaccines. Then his newer one "forgot" to do my physicals for the final two years I served on that ship because I was "too much a pain in the ass to deal with medically" because he had to recalibrate everything since, again, I was the only one who wasn't human on board.

Also that "bubblegum flavored" antibiotic I had to take one time when I was a kid did not taste like bubblegum, it tasted like chalky vaguely tutti frutti death. Made me hate that specific shade of pale pink for a long time.

Glad I transferred. I honestly feel 80% less like I'm going to die if something happens.

[weeb-cheese]

Hello! Changel from Twitch here! Hope the day is treating you well <3

This is the quite heavy question i didn't share on twitch bc of it being heavy, but feel free not to answer it if it makes you too uncomfortable to talk about!

So...I have been following the Kuro manga since before the Blue Memory Arc was released, but I never realized Ciel was a victim of CSA until the chapter where it was disclosed. Recently, after i got back into the manga, i even thought "Yana, did you even plan this or was it a last minute decision to put something extremely fucked up?"

However, looking trough tumblr, i found out some people called it (and i may have misinterpreted, or remember wrong, but I think you're one of them?) before it even happened and i wanted to ask...Can you share what made it so obvious for you? Because the only thing i can think of is his dislike for physical touch, but that can be chalked up to non-sexual physical abuse as well, so idk I'm just curious on what the foreshadowing was that i missed?

Again, feel free not to answer if its too heavy. I usually avoid any talk about sexual assaults of any kind, however i just wanted to understand the foreshadowing/effects on o!Ciel that i missed, but i totally understand if you don't feel up to it. Your mental health comes first :)

Sorry to bring up such a dark topic...

Stay safe <3

I don't clearly remember what it was exactly that let me know. I think it was a combination of things. But mostly I think it was a gut feeling and projection? More explanation under the cut since it's long and also can be heavy

I started reading the manga for Kuro shortly after getting out of a really traumatic relationship. I'll be straight up, there was nothing more than non-consensual groping and a type of emotional abuse that some mental health professionals call emotional rape. So I obviously never experienced anything like Ciel did. But, I was able to take my own feelings and find them in Ciel. Things I felt, and behaviors I exhibited were mirrored and exaggerated in him. He was displaying behaviors that had my mom asking me if anything had happened. So I kind of just put two and two together. (btw this was a decade ago. I've been healing, and am okay now!)

A scene that really solidified it though was his PTSD attack in Green Witch arc. And especially the fact that he only felt safe with Finny there. Ciel wasn't in a place where he could clearly differentiate between reality and his own nightmares and memories. So any adult presence was a reminder of those who hurt him. But since Finny was also a teenager, his presence was safe, comforting even. There are a few other scenes through out the manga where Ciel displays classic symptoms of being an assault survivor. Moments where he didn't want to be touched that felt too extreme to be anything else. Like the time he pulled a gun on Sebastian when being woken up one morning after a nightmare. The manga tried to play it off as him being scared after reading scary stories before bed. But it felt deeper than that to me.

It also just made sense to me? I had a really negative outlook on the world back then, and for some reason was hearing a lot about assault in the news. And I was also getting to the age where my mom was talking to me more about that kind of thing, so I'd be aware and better able to protect myself as I graduated high school and entered college. So I guess it was just on my mind a lot. But it just seemed like a safe assumption to make. Like what else would these weirdos be doing with a bunch of kids? I say this all the time, but it's THE WORST headcanon to have confirmed in canon.

I think with the symbolic way Yana Toboso portrayed THAT chapter, it wasn't done for shock factor or just to add something fucked. I think it was something she had in mind from the start. And at least knew she wanted to include that in the manga long enough to have put so much thought and care into how she portrayed it. It's still an incredibly fucked up chapter, but to me it didn't feel like something she put in for the sake of the reader, or to gawk at how fucked up it is. She's referenced CSA a bit through out the manga as well. In the Circus arc, when Kelvin is told that Ciel was in captivity and would be the lamb, the other guy makes a comment about how he and the other cult guys would love Ciel plenty enough for Kelvin. And that so clearly is about CSA, especially now that I know Yana Toboso had that in mind as well.

I don't think you really missed a lot of foreshadowing. Especially since most of it was vague or brushed off and explained away by something else in the manga. Or required you to be pretty familiar with those feelings and symptoms yourself. If Yana Toboso wanted to make it clearer from the start, she would have. Maybe she wasn't too sure if she wanted to confirm that. I know when it comes to the writing process you'll come up with a lot of character traits and back stories that help shape the character, but may not actually make it to the final product of the story.

[arleneworld22]

My week...

Well my bestie called me to acept my invitation to go to the FIL after our works this friday and this is an special oportunity 'cause I can't see him often because he lives at US (I promised to give him a coffee to the special touch hehe) I hope this time we don't have problems, most of the time after or before we meet his mom... I don't want to confirm anything, but looks like she always try to not let him meet me, because most of the time after we meet she acts in this... dramatic way, so I hope he doesn't get problems this time. Live music starts at 8pm btw.

The offer for this job... I don't wanted at first because of what I explained, but also because they didn't tell me where I'm going to work, but said some things that gave me some clues about where and I don't have a very good impression of there. But today when I handed in my documents and signed many things they already gave me more details, first, this is not an official contract, it's temporary for a few months (or maybe one who knows) but I can get all the benefits like an official position; but after some time if they see that I'm very good at it, they can offer me the official position, so it could be like a prove to that and see if I can do more of this kind of works. the process to this work is a little extended so maybe in may we can get the big news. Oh btw is in HR department so at least is something consistent with my career <3. Thank you so much for your supportive words, they helped me to feel a little less guilty and try to have a better attitude into this.

About your gf, I never think something bad about her, I pass for this kind of problems too, so there's no reason to that, but I've to admit that it crossed my mind "breakup because he wants her attention and because of her temper it's absurd", but this are common problems in a relationship with a pretty simple solution so all this time I was very worried about that xd, thanks for telling me that you are better now, I hope you continue nurture your relationship. <3

I really really like to know more about you, like thinking about you running somewhere, you studying, riding a bike, playing with your doggies...now I sound creep xd, well anyways I'm honest; I have 2 doggies too! Darwin has a son, his name is Jhonny "Bravo" (that's a short funny story, I'm going to tell you other day) he is almost 2 years old but still acting like a puppie, it's cute.

Last hour my dad told me that my grandma needs me to go to the US to accompany her to the hospital for check-ups, she has cancer since... I can't remember, maybe more than 8 years, but she gets careless recently and she gets very weak for that, she is getting a little better now so that's why she wants to go. Last year I accompany her to medical oppointments maaaany times in the US and thanks for that we spent a lot of time together and getting to know each other more <3. I discovered that she really likes to read a lot like me, that one of her favorite books is Robinson Crusoe and I liked that book too, we both are very distracted, we love go to shopping and look very closely at stores, we both like to talk about education topics, that we really enjoyed walking, also that we both have problems organizing our times and even more; my mom says that we are like twins and that's not exactly a good combo lol. So I know tomorrow is going to be a little tired, but well, I couldn't see her in like 2 months because of work so this is an opportunity to that, I hope I can bring her some flowers.

Champion’s dinner // Today’s sky

My camp half-blood t-shirt // Moon last night

There are more more more and MORE things that I want to write you but I have to sleep xd

[trippingontheescalator]

I qualify as a fandom elder, I think. I read the second book first when it first came out in 1998 when I was in middle school and then just had to find the first book and read it too.

Some of these questions I don't think I'll be able to answer, since I only ever saw the first movie and kind of hated it. Nothing against Alan Rickman (loved him in almost everything else he did) or any of the other actors, but the movie just never really lived up to the magical world in my head, so I never bothered with watching the other films.

And so, with that--

As far as I'm aware, Snape has always been one of the most popular characters in the series, even before Rickman. These books were coming out in the late 1990s/early 2000s and edginess reigned supreme, grunge was still in, hot topic was the place to be in the mall, and so here comes Severus Snape-- dark, sinister, maybe a vampire, and delightfully sarcastic but also he was trying to save his life during the entirety of book 1! He's just a misunderstood vampire :( Lol, seriously, a large number of fans were 100% convinced he was a vampire, and that made him hot.

That's not to say there weren't people who disliked Snape, but fandoms in and of themselves operated differently. A03 didn't exist, most forms of social media didn't exist except for Livejournal and MySpace, fanfiction.net was in its infancy. If you wanted fanfics, you had to really search for these mom-and-pop websites that might host like 50 fics. And so, you had a favorite character and you went and you found a forum and a website that was basically dedicated to said favorite character and it was very enclosed. With Tiktok and other platforms, a fanon interpretation like "Snape is an incel" can spread very quickly like a virus. And I say virus because I've noticed some troubling trends in fandoms recently.

In the late 90s/early 2000s no one really cared that Snape picked on Harry and Neville, in part because that kind of treatment was just par for the course, but also because no one expected characters to act morally good. This was the late 90s when every character had to be EDGY. They had to wear black leather, and be a little mean, and have a tragic backstory. We didn't have words like "problematic." On the one hand, I am glad that more kids and teens are more aware of social issues and are examining biases that might be hidden in media and not just consume it unthinkingly. But on the other hand a kind of social puritanism is on the rise. Everything must be Pure and Good and if you like a problematic character then you must be Morally Reprehensible, just like the Reverend Praise-God Barebones proclaimed.

As for the "3 year gap" issue between GoF and OotP, I honestly think Rowling had no real intention of writing anything past Philosopher's Stone. When the first book exploded in popularity, she then churned CS and PoA, saw that those were even more wildly popular, and then realized she didn't just have a bunch of kids books under her belt, she could actually turn this into something. GoF is actually the first turning point for not just Snape but the entire series, not OotP. There were 0 hints that Snape was ever a Death Eater in books 1-3, and in fact Quirrell -- WHO IS LITERALLY ATTACHED TO VOLDY AND SHOULD HAVE KNOWN -- even suggests that Snape isn't one when he says something to the effect of "He seems the type, but he's not" to Harry. But in GoF we start to see the changes from "a bunch of kids books" to "epic fantasy series with a coherent storyline" and it solidifies in OotP. Rowling probably took that break to not only hammer out Snape's backstory and role, but also Voldemort's, and Harry's, and Dumbledore's, as well as to actually bring in more themes and motifs to her writing to give it depth. She probably came up with the horcrux idea at this time, and decided to retroactively make the diary one of those horcruxes (because really, if she had always intended for the diary to be a horcrux, why the hell would Lucius just chuck it at the Weasleys, Voldy entrusted it to him, it doesn't make sense). Same with Harry's scar.

As for "James wasn't supposed to be a bully, Rowling just did that because of Rickman's popularity" Like you said, the story of Snape nearly getting eaten by Lupin was in PoA. I think originally Rowling probably intended for the James-Severus feud to be an actual rivalry like Dumbledore stated it was in the first book. A book she probably didn't think would ever be that popular and probably never planned for a sequel. But when it did, I think she decided to make James a bully not because of Rickman's popularity but to tell a specific story: I think she wanted to turn the trope of "saintly dead parents" that all junior lit heroes have on its head. It's about Harry's character development, not Snape's, and as a way to subvert the reader's expectations. Throughout the series, Harry is compared to his father, well what if Harry sees his father as someone he DOESN'T want to be like? That's interesting character development! And Rowling does love her twists, even if she doesn't always implement them very well (see: Snape's relationship with Lily, come on other than one comment from Petunia there's never even a hint. You'd think Sirius would taunt him with Lily's loss of friendship just to piss him off or something but nooo...)

a ramble and some open questions for fandom elders (and others) about whether Snape was only made more sympathetic on account of Alan Rickman's popularity/casting, and similar things

so I stopped engaging with a tiktok creator for a while who I'd previously found very interesting because nearly every time they brought up Snape, they'd throw in some casual "if Harry was a girl, Snape would be really creepy/predatory about it" or some other weird Snape take not rooted in anything (to my mind). Like, it was weird to me because they bring in book quotes or pottermore/interview snippets to other analyses of other characters and ideas, but never Snape - for Snape, it was always just about vibes and feelings. For Snape, the fact we never hear that he killed someone or the fact we never heard that he stalked Lily is, in fact, strong evidence that he did do those things - or certainly thought about it - and certainly enough to be considered predatory and likely to dose Lily (and later a hypothetical Harriet) with a love potion or keep them in his basement, or something.

I disputed that idea in the comments one time, and some Snape supporting comments outside of mine got removed and users blocked, meanwhile my comments were (I think deliberately) misinterpreted. I stopped using tiktok entirely for a while, and never went back to see if the comments got deleted or whatever. Tiktok never gave me any further notifications about it upon re-downloading, so I guess they were removed? Idk. I have no desire to check.

but all of that is background really; she's lately posted some videos (I still find the rest of her content interesting, but apparently snape content is a no-go lool) saying that Snape's whole characterisation is different after the 'three year summer' - that is, that JKR saw how popular Snape was in the films, that she had to find a way to keep Alan Rickman on board when he wanted to leave, and that when she took her break between writing GoF and OotP I think, Snape sort of morphed into a new character and she had to attempt to redeem him (which, in her eyes, he's not redeemed even at the end which is like. ok). She implied that there's no evidence of James' bullying prior to OotP, no evidence of Snape ever having had a relationship (much less a friendship) with Lily, and that all of that was tossed into the later books retroactively to 'redeem' his character. (Obviously, I have Thoughts on that, which I'll come back to).

Of course, with the sort of... bad vibes she's built up around pro-Snape comments on her videos, all of the comments were in agreement with her. I'm also new to HP/Snape in terms of actively engaging with the fandom online, as it somehow passed me by at the time. But now I have Thoughts

So with all of that in mind, and just because I want to hear other people's thoughts but TikTok comments are a nightmare on their own with the character limit, inability to read them properly/in order, and general vibe of TikTok comments (even without the creator deleting/getting antsy about pro-Snape ideas), if anyone wants to discuss this lot, I am keen to hear people's thoughts:

Was Snape always a popular book character, or did that change/skyrocket with Alan Rickman? (For my part, I don't remember hating Snape when I read the books the first time around - in fact, I hardly remember registering him at all - but I do remember hating Umbridge).

How true is it that Snape was made 'more sympathetic' following the films? To me, it doesn't make sense; the first big, weighty suggestion of the marauders bullying Snape was in PoA, which was released mid-1999; the first evidence that Snape was spying was in GoF, in mid-2000. The first film didn't even come out (Alan Rickman's charisma included) until 2001. Weirdly, the PoA stuff the user is convinced just says that Snape was jealous of James (probably true, not denying it) but in the exact same book Remus/Sirius all but admitted to Sirius trying to kill Snape, which seems like a massive overreaction to Snape being an annoying little hater of a teen that she never comments on because, I guess, Snape deserved it?

Also, does it matter if he was made 'more sympathetic'? ootp was published in 2003, and in early 2002 Alan considered leaving. sure, JK might have added/exaggerated SWM to make him more sympathetic, but the reasons for adding in scenes don't change the fact that that's now part of the fabric of the character - a character who, by this point, had already been revealed in PoA to be the subject of a near-murder plot at the hands of the Marauders and was Very Not Okay about it; the marauders had already been described as troublemakers; Snape was already shown to be wary of Lupin for reasons that weren't solely about him being a werewolf, but about the Prank/Trick/Willow incident. An incident, much like SWM, that occurred because Sirius thought it would be "amusing" to put Snape in a horrible position. if JKR wanted to, she could've made Sirius the ringleader in SWM - but for Snape, I think she just wanted to solidify why a grown man hates a child who looks exactly like his father, which was also referenced in the early books and strongly prefaced by the events of PoA in the Shack (I don't think she had it 'all planned out' from day dot, however, but went with the vibes and fleshed out the details later). Obviously, to this creator, Lupin's idea that Snape was solely a little bitch because he hated that James was better at Quidditch is to be taken at face value, despite the fact the conversation then moves on to Snape's near-death following Sirius 'trick'ing Snape into the willow

Same as above but with his characterisation; she acknowledges that the later books are darker and have a more adult tone, but somehow it's still suspicious that Snape's sympathetic backstory was never once alluded to in earlier books (which, again, I think it's fair to say it was alluded to, but in sufficiently lacking detail so that JK could deal with it when she got there). Also with PoA and GoF especially, there are hints of Snape going from his more 'silly evil teacher' which he kind of was in books 1 and 2, heading towards the more realistic, but still delightfully bitter and flawed, adult character as the books aged up. I haven't read the books in a while I'll admit, but from the Snape passages I have read, I never noticed a sufficient difference pre or post three-year-summer that didn't match the wider tone of the books changing also.

Unlike the tiktok creator, I also think that Snape's reaction to Harry in general is almost entirely to do with James, rather than Lily's so-called rejection, and so there's no evidence that Snape would be weird to a 'Harriet' that resembled his mother, or weird to Lily if he saw her again; I think with his characterisation it's more likely that Harriet would've been treated like Hermione, Ron, or Tonks - being largely ignored with the occasional insult and told off for causing trouble - aka, how Snape would treat most people. Outside of the one isolated 'mudblood' incident, Snape was a bit of a doormat when it came to Lily (bless his heart). He followed her from the train carriage without comment, backtracked when she appeared angry in the post-prank conversation, even the "I won't let you" seemed more "I won't let you turn him into some kind of hero" or even, at a stretch, an "I won't let you be with him" out of Lily's own safety or something than "I won't let you leave me", to me - because he did just let her leave him in school? James and Snape continued hexing one another in 7th year, but there's no suggestion that Snape ever tried to be weird to Lily.

To my mind, there's no suggestion that Snape stalked Lily, no suggestion that he asked Voldemort to capture her - just to spare her. And then Snape went to Dumbledore anyway, probably immediately based on how harried he is on the windy hilltop scene, because he knew Voldemort wouldn't spare her, and even if he did, Snape would probably have to keep up the ruse of 'desiring' Lily, and do the sorts of thing Snaters suggest he wanted to do, just to keep her alive. But with Dumbledore involved, Snape wouldn't ever have the chance to imprison/love potion her - and that wasn't what he wanted. He just wanted her alive so he wouldn't have played a part in her death. I also doubt that Snape had much time to think when Voldemort revealed who he was choosing to kill; it's not as though Voldemort makes decisions by committee. He'd have revealed his plans and Snape would make a quick, panic-stricken decision to tell Voldemort that he desired Lily (which he may have done, to an extent; he'd need to draw on something to back up his request when Voldemort undoubtedly looked into his mind to see why Snape wanted to spare his Priority #1 victim). And like I say, he then set up a meeting with Dumbledore, probably immediately/as soon as he could, sensing that that wouldn't work (was he not convincing enough? Did he just know Voldemort too well? I have so many questions about how that conversation went down, and subsequent conversations about Lily which presumably occurred after V's resurrection).

anyway, no conclusion, only thoughts too rambly for tiktok comments

[sukunas-play-thing]

Before I post my Mini gyutaro ficlet have some Headcanons 💚💚💚💚💚💚

These will have a couple NSFW headcanons as well. the text will be highlighted green !!!!!! Don't worry it's only a couple but I'll post another one with more NSFW SUBMISSIONS

also this will probably be long but if you don't mind that please feel free to read!!

•Modern AU setting where gyutaro and Ume go to school with you.•

I see gyutaros clothes atire outside of his school uniform being either grunge/punk metal styles.

I'm talking baggy comfy coats/hoodies, ripped jeans any color, bamd tees wife beater tanks and some shirts with sleeves ripped open to show his sides wearing a chain necklace and has a chain attached to his wallet. You never see him without his chained wallet or necklace.

His wallet is black leather with a authentic real silver skull.

He paints his nails either black, green or dark blue

Has a couple of tattoos he keeps hidden underneath his school uniform Shirt sleeves. Outside school he shows em off.

One arm is a full sleeve I see it being the band members of slipknot

And the other arm is just a tattoo on his forearm of the Juggalo. (insane clown posse mascot with the signature hatchet)

He wears heavy boots some studded and others plain and Maybe. MAAAAYBE he'll wear cowboy boots. Hafta be black in color or he won't wear them and he always tucks his jeans inside them. If he's on a date with you he'll wear the jeans over the boots.

He also regularly shops hot topic wearing all kinds of band tees

Avenged sevenfold ICP slipknot FFDP to name a few hard rock and metal but cannibal corpse also for when he's in a death metal mood.

He wears very nice smelling cologne. Like the type that when he walks past you it makes your head dizzy and you swoon just wanting to take a bite outta him. (You ever walk past a guy and he just smells.... So freaking good ya wanna ask for his number? Yeah that kinda good smell)

He loves his sister and would do absolutely ANYTHING for her I see him working two jobs so he could buy her (and you) anything you're guys hearts desire wants. You want that entire manga collection. He bought it ☑️ Ume wants a whole new makeup set from Jefferry Starr? He bought it ☑️ you guys wanna go to that really expensive restaurant that recently opened? Wear your best clothes ☑️ he also spent money on designer clothes for you and Ume I'm talking Prada and Versace type a shit. He takes care of his sister and his girlfriend/boyfriend

They currently live with their mother (father(s) unknown he took off after ume was born but he's not Gyus birth father) she's not very nice company so 9/10 you'd see Gyutaro and Ume hanging a little after school hours before leaving to do something before coming back home around 10 or 11 pm. Maybe even later. (They try to wait until their mom is asleep to come back home. And try to be gone before she's even awake or coherent bless them someone take them away)

Gyutaro drives a motorcycle I see him with a Harley Davidson. He paid good money on it and it's his pride and joy second to Ume. If your his neighbor, (either dating or not for this let's say not) you'll catch him in the garage working on it around the clock, fixing tires or any other maintenance it needs and then finishing off with a gorgeous chrome shine. Babes I have sparkles in my eyes.

He always catches you watching him in the corner of his eye and softly smirks to himself cockily. he'll even deliberately stretch to show his tats and muscles. Him covered in grease. (Ooooh I'm sweating like a women fanning herself during Sunday church. Mmmm 🥵🔥)

Please walk up and bring him tea or even lemonade. He'll act annoyed you're there. And try to tell ya to buzz off. But secretly loves it. Takes huge gulps on purpose so you can watch his Adams apple Bob with the motion. Sweat dripping down his neck.

Lord there is a birthmark riiiight there below the Adams too... Please ask him to kiss it. ~ you'll thank me later.

His ears are also pierced has a tongue piercing and... Also has a Jacobs ladder mmmmm 😋 but you won't be able to find that out until you both are getting down and sexy. It's quite a nice surprise indeed 💞

He fucks you to Rob Zombie and In this Moment

When you finally worked the courage to ask him out it took him awhile to accept that someone genuinely liked him enough to have a serious relationship with yeah he's had some flings but they didn't want to date him after and he fkt used to that ya see? . But After being such a dick to you trying to push you away he made up for it by taking you for a nice ride on his bike. So scenic when the sun is setting. Just you, Gyutaro and his bike. Ofc he makes sure Ume is either at home or with friends before making this last minute trip. But the action counts and you fell even deeper in love with him for it. You both have been inseparable ever since.

Talking coffee dates movie dates at his or your place study sessions together. But Please be patient with him, he just worked a double at his second job he's sorry for constantly dozing off. Really!

It's just your voice is so soft and calming it helps him finally relax. He's so far behind on studies and homework he wants to get the shit over and done with but damn he's so exhausted. EYYY I saw you finish his homework for him. Simp 🙄. The audacity (jk I'd do the same).

He likes to listen to Die Antwoord for when he's feeling ina goofy mood. Please he's so cute when he's in a goofy mood after getting his 8 hrs and some coffee (maybe even an energy drink for good measure) when he's not sluggish juggling two jobs and school he's more playful not that he isn't playful before but this particular mood he's more soft and relaxed. Happy. He'll play wrestle you anywhere and tickle you till you almost pee yourself.

He watches shows like Rick and Morty Breaking Bad and the Punisher favorite movies are Jurassic park and any film with Vin Diesel And The Rock Johnson also a huge fan of wrestling/UFC and car shows loves racing ones too.

This is just my personal headcanon but I see him smoking cigs and being a pot head. Come on the shit he deals with with his mom is enough to make a nun swear!;but if you want him to quit those he will though for your sake. You worry over his health constantly babe. Don't worry it'll be okay.

One time when his mom went to a 'friends' house for the weekend he felt comfortable enough to ask you if you'd like to spend the night at his place. You were so excited you showered put on your cutest jammies and packed some clothes and necessities. He walked around your room looking at group photo's you took over your life. Some mirages of when you went to a carnival some pictures you took at school friends doing weird goofy shit. One picture caught his eye. It was a group photo you took of you Ume and Gyutaro going to the movies to see the nee fast and furious film that came out(lawd what # we on now? Fast 50???lol) his eyes were glued to it. It was a little before you asked him out Ume had invited you to come along because you let ger cheat off you in class, you all were huddled together in front of the movies poster had peace signs up Ume in the middle Gyutaro on her left and you on her right. But what he finally noticed was you. Ume was looking straight at thr camera with her tongue out, But Guytaro and you were looking at eachother a soft smile on your face while Gyutaro had a slight smirk. Huh. ' When did We look at one another?'

His fingers grazed the photo hung up on the wall while you were rustling about in the bathroom. When you walked in you saw him looking at the photo and walking to stand next to him. You both were quiet for a long while before Gyutaro Finally spoke up.

"(Name). " your head shifted to look at him. "Yes?." His pinky links with yours. "I think that, when we graduate. I wanna marry ya. And take you and Ume away from this place."

(A/N: that's it for now. If you want more I can definitely post more!!! ^^ love ya kitty meow meows 💋😘💋😘).

[toaswife]

𝓑𝓮𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓪 𝓟𝓮𝓻𝓯𝓮𝓬𝓽 𝓕𝓪𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻

- 𝑮𝒖𝒚 𝑨𝒗𝒂𝒓𝒊 𝑿 𝑹𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓

Characters -

𝑳𝒖𝒄𝒊𝒇𝒆𝒓 - The first Child ( Mum's fav also called as Lil guy because he looks like guy)

𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒊𝒆𝒗𝒆 - The Second child who was born recently

𝑵𝒂𝒓𝒂 - MC

𝑮𝒖𝒚 - ML

𝑵𝒐𝒕𝒆: 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒚 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒄𝒆𝒆𝒅𝒔 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒎 𝒈𝒖𝒚'𝒔 𝒑𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝒗𝒊𝒆𝒘"

The story starts in a dramatic way"

"Guy wanted a girl as his first child but it's A boy!

Guy : seriously 😒

Mc : It's not my fault

Guy : it's ok we'll try again

Mc : 👁️👄👁️ now!?Guy : nah let's *sigh* ugh wait Mc : Yea like maybe 7 years Guy : 👁️👄👁️💔 I .. I wait no i thought it's until he's walking

Mc : what obvi no I want my child to be grown enough that he can look after himself because I don't want him thinking he didn't get loved by us enough

Guy : f*ck this I want a girl!!!!"

"It's been 9 Years since Lucifer was born I am reading this book I received from qelsum it's a book on how to raise a daughter well I do hate him but I am grateful to him for this book it's really informative"

"Well he does have the knowledge afterall he grew up surrounding girls, he shouldn't have a problem dealing with a girl"

"Nara is in the last stage of pregnancy and and her delivery could be any time I for one have been curiously waiting"

"According to nara she told me it's a girl I am really happy because she was very sure it is"

The door opens I suddenly close my book and put it in the drawer

Nara : "Guy what are u doing?"Guy : " I should be asking that? you shouldn't be here taking rest is important "Nara : "I just came to see u, Well I know but I can't alway stay at the same place right"

Guy: " Still If you need anything Just call Me I would come right?"

Nara : "yeah But I can't alway relay on you I just came to check on little guy"Guy : " You worry way too much about him"

Nara : I can't help it.

Guy : anyways it's lunch time let's go Nara : okay Are u sure I ask her about the gender?

Nara : Yes, it's not like u guys have a Ultrasound test if u want a valid proof that is

Guy : A what?

Nara : A Ultrasound test is a type of test where the machine scans the Belly and shows u the baby in the moniter, it tells the health condition of the baby and the gender.

Guy : the human realm is indeed quite forward when it comes to Machines

I'll tell Nara to rest in the room while I'll bring her lunch

I go to the dining hall only to run into queen toria she is the third Consort queen and the mother of Zev, She is nicest one after mom

"Good Afternoon Your majesty"

"Good afternoon Guy.

you must be eagerly waiting for your daughter""I am indeed"

Guy : I have a favor To Ask You Your Majesty, Can you give me some tips on raising a daughter u have a Lil sis right and u know how to raise one?

Toria : sure, you have changed alot Guy.Guy : Well

Toria : Not that I blame you It's Probably Love's doing

Guy : Well I did because of Nara so I guess your right..Toria : alright back to the topic

Never scold ur daughter even if they do something wrong because they have a fragile heart and take things to their heart and always be kind and teach them the right way to do things even if they do it wrongly and they can be very demanding of course Guy : no issues I shall give them what she wants, Thanks

Roc : now what am I seeing here?

Guy: just some tips for my daughter

Roc : well u have grown up huh?

Guy : I did a long time ago

Toria : anyways that's so sweet of you to want a daughter

"Reminds me of your dad and mom they both wanted a daughter but sadly your mom died before that could happen"

"Oh" I said Because I didn't knew about it dad said he only wanted a boy so I'm suprised

Toria : Suprised at how I know this? It's because your dad and I are childhood friends I never expected to marry him

Guy : You did?

Toria : Yes I was A close Family friend and was close to your mom too I always supported her, but I never expected this, lts because of rahm all she cared was his attention and roc got irritated with her behaviour, Your dad is very partial to your mom which is probably why he doesn't like her, so he requested my family to marry him and he's been nice to me but I'm still sorry for thisGuy : I don't blame you plus it's not your fault, thanks for telling me

Toria : take good care of nara!

That Evening Nara said she was feeling pain and so I took her to the delivery room After An hour all the princes gather and we all wait Together It's midnight and I'm still waiting it's been way too long. When Lucifer was born it took 2 hours but Now I can't even count how many hours have gone by.

The doctor comes out with a grim expression, He tell us a shocking news"Your majesty I'm so sorry to tell but you have to choose between the child or the mother"

"What! I exclaimed is there no other way? What kind of doctor you are if you can't save the queen?"

"I'm So Sorry Your Majesty, Her Highness is barely able to stay awake and she has lost alot of blood the child is taking Alot of time to come out it's either u choose or u lose both of them Please we are trying our best right now"

''I can't believe this It's like a nightmare, You aren't serious are u?" it's like I'm on the verge of crying"

Tears start well to up in my eyes, Toa notices this"I'm going outside I have some work I'll comeback once I'm done" said Toa He signals the other princes too

It's nice that they are being considerate but now's not the time I don't care if they see me the way I am all matters is Nara That's when I See Toria and dad come Toria : Guy I think u need to understand her situation, not to mention she's a human her body runs on the terms of blood and it's necessary to her unlike us magic plays a vital role for us but for her it's her blood and heart not the magic

Guy : ....

Roc : I understand your pain guy I have gone through this but you have to accept this

Guy : ... "I'm at a loss for words the dream child I wanted could be here but her mom won't I can always get a baby girl but her mom won't, she's rare I love her I can't lose her she's way too important for me to lose, I just wanted a daughter because she'd look like her mom and I'd have two wonderful women infront of my eyes and enjoy this feeling but looks like it won't come true""For A moment I Could Understand Dad's Pain Which is probably why he lost his hope on love and told me woman are not important they are just a burden to us, Well I disagree But it feels like I can understand what he went through"

"That's when the princes return and look at me I have made my decision it's Nara I want to protect her, I gave my answer to the doctor"

Much to my surprise just after 5 min I hear a baby crying I'm shocked! What happened to nara... No it's not possible they can't do this!?

I immediately run inside the room and I can hear dad telling me not to but how can I not I love her I can't lose her This can't happen I won't let her!I rush inside to see her lying there with the most innocent face as I go next to her my tears start to fall on her pink cheeks and I say "Nara I love You Please Don't leave me! Forget about asking a daughter I won't ask u for anything please just come back to me don't leave me I can't live without you! You've become a vital part of my life, Please I'm begging you Nara!"

"My tears keep on falling that's when Nara opens her eyes And Suprise colours my face the doctor comes and tells me she fainted due to exhaustion And I feel embarrassed"

"The doctor tells me that The baby had a wonderful timing if she hadn't come out then they had to actually do it I'm soo happy that she's fine and the woman I love is fine"

"To be honest I feel like I have gone through sadness and happiness at the same time"

The princes congratulate me and the doctor comes asking all the princes to give blood for mc and I did of course I'm so happy that they did this for her I'm never gonna put her through this again I've learnt that You should cherish what u have sometimes it's good to take risk but not always"It's been A few months now from that day I am reading my book as usual while Nara is breastfeeding my baby girl"

Nara and I discussed the names for her we came with two names 1. Genevieve 2.GislleAlthough I would go for the first one the second one could be a nickname as well

Mc : I'm still thinking about another child

Guy : don't u dare I've already was on the verge to lose u i can't take anymore risks

Mc : seriously 😒Guy : yes that's it if u want another kid we can adopt there are many poor kids we can help them

Mc : 😒Well Your daughter is just like soo stubborn that she didn't come out until I was ont he verge of dying hmph

Guy : .... Well leave it will you Genevieve starts crying suddenly that's when I take her to the balcony

Nara : guy it's dangerous don't stand on the edge hold her tightly ok?

Guy : You worry alot I know I'm being very careful ( In fact I'm nervous I'm trying my best to hold her gently to make sure she doesn't feel hurt)"Look at the sky, she's stops crying immediately as I speak in a gentle tone it's pretty right? She replies ayayaahh Haha It's cute although she can't talk I feel like I can understand her very well"

~Meanwhile ~

Roc : Lucifer I'm tired Lucifer: grandfather I'm bored can u tell me more STORIES

ROC : ugh what did I get myself into geez if not for that baby

Lucifer: what are u talking tell me A STORY NOW!

Roc : right why don't we go look after ur sis Lucifer: sure ( a nice way to change topic not that I care my sis matters afterall)

Guy : dad what are u doing here?

Roc : came to look after my baby

Guy : when did she became ur baby huh?Roc : well I'll look after her u can look after Lucifer

Nara : right it's time for my boy to sleep mumma will tell ya a story

Lucifer: yess

Guy : how about we both look after her? Nara : well then good luck looking after my girl

Roc : i don't need luck I'll make her happy

Guy : u? Hah let's have compitition who makes my baby smile wins

Roc : sure!

Then here we have guy doing belly dance to make her laugh 😂 but doesn't work Roc trying make weird faces doesn't work either

Meanwhile

After 10 Mins

Lucifer: Maa I can't sleep without Genevieve.Nara: Oh alright let's go get her.

Nara : let me peek inside and see what they are doing!

Nara: 👁️👄👁️huh what are they doing??Laughing internally 😂Omg what did i just see i should never leave this father and son alone

That's when Lucifer enter the room

Guy : huh u haven't slept?

Lucifer: well I wanted to sleep besides my lil sis soo i came to take her, what are u guys doing acting like crazy

Nara : looks like they were trying to make her smile

Guy and Roc : .....

Lucifer: that's it? Imma show u how it's done! Lucifer goes near her and starts shaking her toy and teddy bear she immediately starts smiling

Lucifer: see it's that simple can't believe i actually saw u guys behaving like that are u guys really a royalty?

Nara : bursts into laughter

Guy and Roc : It's NOT SOMETHING TO LAUGH ABOUT! Guy : How long have u been here Nara

Nara : well I've seen everything

Guy and roc 👁️👄👁️

Roc : well.... Im tired I'm leaving bye..Guy : huh dad wait it's u who started this...

Nara: "smirks" nice belly dance 😏

Guy : ......Lucifer: dad should go and perform infront of everyone hahah

Guy : shut up! After both the kids sleep

Nara : ahaha I Still can't believe what u just did!

Guy : would you shut up already I'm not gonna let you sleep today as your punishment!

Nara : Huh? I was just joking it's was funny so... Guy : yeah Funny imma show u what it means to not sleep

Nara : uh shit now what .....

Guy : You aren't going anywhere that's for sure "scary smirk"

Nara : Uh looks like I'm doomed!

Guy : huh you aren't laughing anymore?Nara : well it's you well.... Nevermind I'm sleeping

Guy : as if I'll let you?

Nara : Looks Like I can't escape, Fine

Guy : Well Look at U Nara : WhateverThat's how they spent their night.

~ To be Continued ~

𝑩𝒐𝒏𝒖𝒔 : Nara Gets Pregnant Again after 9 years When Genevieve Turns 9 although Unexpected Guy was surprised and he didn't want anymore kids but Nara said she wouldn't mind although guy was scared he knew she'll be fine which is why he allowed it, In her last stage the belly swells way larger than before which guy gets suspicious of, On the day of delivery Guy is blessed with a pair of Twins which could explain why her belly was bigger than before The pair of Twins are A Boy And A Girl! Guy's happiness knows no bounds and Nara is very happy While the older siblings are happy to look after the kids this story will told at later time.For Now Thanks This is the first Court Of Darkness FF I wrote, Thanks Again for the support!

Love Writer NK 💜

[scandalsavagefanfic]

Hello! I am a huge fan of ur writing. I've loved everything I've read of yours. I've read alot of what you've posted, except for a couple of the tags that are squicky for me (so I'm very thankful you tag very thoroughly). No judgement for the squick, it's just not for me. & when I'm having a bad day, I usually just go thru ur ao3 and find something to reread. I think about Therapy's Bruce & Jason every damn day. While I obvs appreciate ur darker more "problematic" content (I really vibe with some of the themes you write about bc of my own trauma, & so it's very cathartic to read about in a fictional setting), I am truly a sucker for ur more happy content. The Happily Ever After verse also lives in my head rent free. Idk more wholesome stuff just seems more special when you write it. Anyways. I would die for you. But the point of this ask is cause I'm curious as to why you don't like Urban Legends? I'm sorry if you already talked about it here or on twitter and I missed it. I was just wondering because I really enjoy your take on things and would love to hear why you dislike it. I've been enjoying it so far personally, but I am always open to DC comics criticism.

Aw thank you so much! I'm so flattered by everything you just said. You're so sweet ❤❤❤❤❤

I haven't talked about Urban Legends here or twitter (I haven't been very active in either place lately. Just a lot going on and no energy 😔) but I'm happy to do it here.

Before I start though, I just want to add a standard disclaimer and make it clear that if you like it, there's nothing wrong with that and you don't have to let me ruin it for you lol. Like what you like.

That said, since you asked...

I said this when I was talking about it on discord, that there is a difference between hope and expectation. I always hope that a new story centered on Jason (or anyone really, but things have been especially egregious for Jay for 15 years) will be good or at least treat the character with a minimal level of respect (to be honest, the bar is super fucking low). But my expectations always temper my hope, to keep it from getting unrealistic. Because my expectations are based on experience.

The long history of Jason Todd, since even before his resurrection, has been one of retroactively trying to make him "a bad seed" in order to absolve Bruce of any responsibility in his death.

I don't even expect DC or their writers to start honoring the fact that Jason was not an angry, reckless Robin (and less of the later than Dick or Tim and definitely Damian). There plenty of ways that retcon can be folded into his history and be compelling and sympathetic. And if they're going to stick with that retcon, I'm only asking that they do it in one of those compelling and sympathetic ways because Jason was 15 when he died, heroically, in one of the most selfless acts in comics, to save a woman who literally handed him over to be brutally murdered. He was 12 when Bruce plucked him off the streets, he'd been homeless and fending for himself for at least two years. I personally think that Jason's story hits harder for him and Bruce if their original, canon relationship, of Jason as starry-eyed and eager to learn and absolutely devoted to Bruce and Bruce to Jason, is preserved. But Jason's origins does leave room for a meaningful interpretation of him as angry and frustrated at the lack of meaningful results of Bruce's methods.

And that's really where my irritation at stories like Batman: Urban Legends, Cheer and Batman The Adventure Continues has it's roots.

Every time one of these stories comes out, I think (or hope, rather) that this will be the one that remembers and respects the origins of the Jason and the Red Hood, that takes into account the changed sensibilities of comics readers in the 30 years since Jason's death and the subtle, 20 year, retroactive campaign to make him the "bad Robin". The "born bad" trope is played out and literally no one likes the message it implies. That some kids are just bad eggs and there's nothing parents or the adults around them can do. Especially when it's played as the kid's fault. If Jason's time as Robin is going to be characterized by anger, then it should be rooted in anger at the social injustices he witnessed as he grew up in an impoverished, crime-ridden, area and the horrors he faced raising himself when every day was a battle for survival. There are topical, meaningful, stories to tell with that backdrop.

But those are never the stories we get.

⚠⚠ Spoilers for Batman: Urban Legends, Cheer ⚠⚠

I'm particularly disappointed in Urban Legends because for the first issue, it looked like that was the kind of story we were going to get. I was put off by the first flashback of Jason being mesmerized by Bruce's guns, and I got that feeling in my gut that it was a bad sign. Jason depicted as impatient and overconfident and the scene with the guns is heavy-handed foreshadowing that got my spidey-sense tingling. I had a inkling then (in the first three pages) of how this story was going to play out, but it was early and I could still see many narrative paths that could lead to a satisfying story. My concerns were soothed somewhat and the little flame of my hope fanned, with the flashback of Alfred scolding Bruce, with Barbara's concern for Jason. A bit of worry returned with the way Jason ruthlessly pursued an addict who didn't appear to be a dealer and with the ending of the issue. The stuff with the addict sat wrong with me but the ending was tempered some by how despicable Tyler's dad was written. The scene was clearly set so that the reader could sympathize with Jason's decision and the scene with the addict could be brushed aside as a side-effect of comics over-the-top need for constant action, so I still held hope.

Issue 2 made me uncomfortable and it's where my hope starts to take a backseat to my expectations. I can dismiss Jason's self-deprecating internal monologue as unreliable narration, except that the flashback reinforces his thought process to explicitly show that it's not unreliable narration, and should be taken at face value. Jason faces physical abuse at the hands of his mother's drug dealer and when the flashback continues later, Jason kills the drug dealer. To be clear, this is a pre-Bruce Jason. His mom is still alive. He's like... 10. He kills this guy for shoving his head into a wall and implying Jason's mother paid for her drugs with sex. This is a scene that serves a single purpose. To show that Jason has always been prone to violence.

In the spirit of full disclosure, there is the small chance the drug dealer might not be dead. But the story obviously wants the reader to think he is, and it hasn't done anything to change that yet.

Starlin already did this story with The Diplomat’s Son in 1988 and he did it infinitely better. AND that’s still technically canon. So now I’m supposed to believe that Jason lost his cool bad enough to kill two douche bags before his sweet 16? Like it’s totally normal for abused kids raised in poverty, who’ve led hard and heartbreaking lives to just... haul off and kill people? That’s bullshit, and when taken with the Jason in the third issue, who is little more than an idiot thug, this story is really doubling down on some fucked up stereotypes.

Which brings us to the most recent issue. I went into this installment with very low expectations. I thought this story was going to be about Jason, through this experience with Tyler, a young boy with a similar background to Jason's, coming to the realization that Bruce's way is the best way and that Bruce did his best by Jason.

That would be annoying (in no small part because it takes increasingly absurd levels of plot armor to keep Bruce's no kill rule relevant, let alone irrefutably right). But I can probably live with that, if only because maybe if Jason officially falls back into line with the Bats crusade, maybe I'll get stories that treat him with respect, stories that don't relegate him to comic relief, dumb brute, or a background body with no lines in a story about the Joker burning Gotham (like Jason would just fucking stand there quietly for that).

And that may still be where the story is going, Jason realizing Bruce is right.

But holy shit do I not have the right words to describe how fucking insulting and gross issue three is.

From start to finish--including the flashback--Jason is written as cruel and fucking stupid. Like straight up dumb.

The entire issue is Bruce explaining the fucking basics to Jason like it's his first day. And Jason flies off the fucking handle and terrorizes a doctor he knows isn't a part of making the Cheerdrops, beats the shit out of some random addicts, and finally, when he can't accomplish anything on his own because he's a dumb brute he calls Barbara for help and rushes in with no information where he's promptly incapacitated and must now wait to be rescued by Batman.

This panel is the least of the issues sins but I can’t screenshot the entire story but it’s representative of the tone for the whole issue (and retroactively tainted the prior two issues).

This is beyond insulting. The only conclusions Jason comes to in this issue are the ones Bruce leads him to by talking to him like he can’t make the simplest connections. And like... in this story Jason can’t make the simplest connections.

This (and the Jason throughout the entirety of this issue) is a far cry from the Jason we fell in love with in Under the Red Hood, who was competent and strategic and intelligent enough to seize control of Gotham’s underworld from Black Mask (who’s no fucking slouch, he’s the first and only person to unify organized crime in Gotham) AND elude and manipulate Bruce until the time and place of his choosing.

This is a far cry from even the Red Hood and the Outlaws Jason who is competent enough to fight the League of Shadows and Ra’s al Ghul (among very dangerous and skilled others) and smart enough to create antidotes for mind control nanotech viruses.

As he should be, by the way. Jason Todd is one of the best, most comprehensively trained fighters in DC’s stable of non powered vigilantes. He’s not irrational or hot headed. He’s pragmatic, tactically minded, and patient. He’s a detective. Right now. Has been since he was 12. Bruce doesn’t have to make him one because he already is. 

Jason is not a stupid thug who uses his fists because his brain doesn’t work. And I can’t tell you how so very exhausted I am by this narrative. 

This is actually the most egregious example of Jason’s skills and intelligence being not just undermined but dismissed entirely. Even Morrison’s Jason had some degree of competency. 

The one, single redeeming factor of this story is the art. It’s beautiful. And Marcus To is a godsend he seems to be one of only a couple of artists who remember that Jason was a child when he was Robin and I’m literally only buying this book because of him. 

Anyway, I’m sorry. I didn’t want that to come out so... um... passionately lol. I’m just very very tired. My intention with this isn’t to ruin it for you, if you like it, that’s fine. 

But this issue shot this story to the top of my "Vehemently Despise” list. 1) Batman: Urban Legends (Cheer), 2) Battle for the Cowl/Morrison’s Batman and Robin, 3) Batman The Adventure Continues.

I hope the next issues somehow salvage this dumpster fire. But I’m not expecting it.

(Damnit. That sounded harsh again. To reiterate, I’m not trying to judge anyone who enjoys it, I just personally hate it and you asked me why lol 😅)

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

I really hope you don't mind OP, but this is such a good topic and you made such a perfect jumping off point. Let me know if I should make my own post and I'll move this there.

I've talked before about how my mom was really involved in same-sex marriage campaigns nationally but in particular on the west coast prior to 2013. Being her kid and evidently somewhat charming to adults, I was a constant shadow at organizing meetings, events, and any protest that was not expected to get violent (my mom had over a decade of training in non-violent protest by the time I was born, so when she had me, she made that her focus as an organizer as opposed to her past....more controversial approaches because she was a single mom with no local family and she needed to be able to bring me along to organize but did not feel she could risk my presence at anything that might get dicey).

So I'm not going to pretend that I have The Answer TM, but suffice to say this issue is NOT new, and we may as well learn from the past!

Some tactics my mom and her fellow organized used over the years to address the priority gap between "people who need things" and "people who can provide things"

An obvious one to start. Political education! The left has historically struggled with political education, often earning a reputation as rigid, dense and overly complicated, and judgy. While to some extent how we are perceived is simply a reflection of the hegemonic dehumanization we experience, we can still make an active effort to learn and use effective political education techniques, including the use of memes, zines, theory/discussion groups, etc. My mom ran a salon once a month for fifteen years in the valley. If you were a parent, a queer, or an ally, you could show up anonymously and talk with the group about life, perspective, prejudice, change, need-meeting, whatever was on your mind. I used to curl up in the corner in my purple riding boots, my pink tutu, and my parent's old baseball cap and just listen in awe to the things people could talk about in that space. Truly life changing and something I hope to host myself someday.

Be willing to meet people where they're at when you talk to them. We learned this in my canvassing work, and I got extra lessons from my actual day job. It's called Unconditional Positive Regard, and it's an important part of being able to have functional conflict resolution in both the interpersonal and political spheres. Per the APA [link below]: "an attitude of caring, acceptance, and prizing that others express toward an individual irrespective of their behavior and without regard to the others’ personal standards. Unconditional positive regard is considered conducive to the individual’s self-awareness, self-worth, and personality growth; it is, according to Carl Rogers, a universal human need essential to healthy development." You may also hear terms like human diginity, which emphasize how fundamental this perspective is for interpersonal connection, especially where that connection may be threatened by conflict, dehumanization/contempt, etc. In plain terms: if you as an organizer want someone to listen to what you have to say, you will need to be able to talk to them like a person even/especially if they do not act in kind. I think this is one of the things that has taken the biggest hit in recent organizing. While mantras like "marginalized people don't owe you a cookie/an education" are true and important, they can sometimes obscure the reality that if we TAKE ON that obligation by becoming an organizer, then yes, in fact. During our organizing efforts, we owe the people we are working with the exact same thing any teacher owes their students: respect, compassion, educational scaffolding paired with responsive mastery exercises and opportunities, and the safety to learn and make mistakes, even really major ones, while still being allowed a path to return to the learning plan. Doing that for people who often take your kindness as an excuse to be cruel and try to incite you is excruciating and exhausting and certainly not for everyone, but when you do it as a group, when you train in communication and teaching styles, when you learn de-escalation techniques and situational safety response, it becomes much more approachable. It's a matter of knowing what tools make the recipe work in a given situation.

Find a way to make them share your priorities. I'm not actually going to use my mom as an example for this because the best example we've got for effective use case of this strategy is integration. Because integration was made the law of the land, there is a floor level of investment that white society has in maintaining quality resources like groceries, education, quality of life, etc in towns where black people are able to also access them. The floor is by no means GOOD ENOUGH ON ITS OWN but it narrowed the gap for example between the horrific state of education of black children at the time in often-makeshift and self-funded schools vs white children in their much more consistently well resoyrced schools. Now when racists want to cut education access for people of color, they can still manage it, but it is harder to do and must be done abstractly in order to avoid being stricken down in appeal. A current day conversation where we see similar logic is in the talk of establishing pay caps and pay ratios. If a CEO can legally only make 10× what their lowest paid employee does, then I think we would all feel safe betting money that the lowest paid employees' salaries would probably go up at least a little. Tactics like this that tie the empowered's need-meeting systems to the vulnerable's forces both systems to become more similar in quality. This, by the way, is an important time to point out that for MANY vulnerable people, the systems of need-meeting that are most reliably accessible to them are contained in [often criminalized] underclass sub-societies. This is how you get the devoutly Catholic mob running illegal gay bars in the 50s, 60s, and 70s, how undocumented residents become dependent on undocumentable income to survive. This is why so many long term goals of our work include various decrim campaigns. By both decriminalizing the resource/need-meeting systems the vulnerable CAN ALREADY access, and making the publicly funded/respectable systems MORE accessible, we establish quality of life floors that we can than work within specific communities to customize further for their population/residents.

Please for the love of god actually learn what mutual aid is. Money can be involved obvi, but cash/financial resource redistribution is NOT mutual aid. Mutual aid is the cultivation of a system of community-owned and community-maintained cooperatives that provide basic need meeting resources to the whole community including those who would not otherwise be able to afford them, but also including everyone who can. For an example of what mutual aid can look like, I highly recommend checking out Feed Well Fridges in North Carolina [link below]. Another example of mutual aid is the mobile safer sex ed stations my mom and her friends used to run. They'd post up in gay bars, nightclubs, and other places during the HIV/AIDS epidemic with variety packs of condoms, zines on preventing/reducing sti transmission, information on AIDS, herpes, syphilis, gonorrhea, and other things people might want to seek medical care for or better understand. They would help people set up sti testing at the local clinics that were actually helping, provide rides for sick residents to appointments, etc. More than once someone they knew called them in a panic knowing they could help. In the case of my uncle, he was able to get treated for his HIV much sooner than many men at the time because he knew enough from his work with mom to know what to do when, and he passed away just before I was born after almost a decade HIV+. Mutual aid is only mutual aid if it is non-directional. If aid is always going out from a few places to a bunch of the same "in need" groups, that's charity. If the community themselves has organized to meet their own needs amongst themselves and any one else can have it too since it's available, that's mutual aid. This plea is not directed at anyone in particular, just sort of getting exhausted by how often I see the phrase Mutual Aid applied to things that just aren't that. But importantly, in its actual form, mutual aid is a big part of how you call in community members who would otherwise not be politically aligned with you. It's a type of modeling. You exist as this social alternative for them that and are welcoming and comversational and educational and personalized and little by little people realize that they've been sold a lie that what they have is the best there is, they internalize the humanity of their neighbors more fully, they develop communal care and protectiveness that can be called upon when vulnerable community members are threatened in future. When Bob The Rich Dentist sees Joe The Homeless Landscaper every month at the town cookout, and gets to know Mary The Single Working Mom chatting over squash at the coop market, and Zash The Trans Teenager at the community swimming pool, than when some jackass comes up to him later and tries to get him to shittalk those communities, Bob is going to start thinking twice. We know for a fact that when people can insulate themselves from the realities of another person's oppression, they become less compassionate towards that person, and more likely to be swayed by prejudicial rhetoric. Ever heard the phrase "keep your friends close, keep your enemies closer"? It's not just about spying on them. It's about the chances they stop being your enemy when you are able to get to know each other on common ground. This isn't "coddle bigots" this is "show people that not being bigoted is a loving experience on all sides" because isn't that the point???

So like. I'm not saying do the exact same things that movements before you have done. After all, the world has changed! So should our approaches. But you don't need to reinvent the wheel! There ARE things that have worked before and we can start there and adjust and adapt as needed!

Some projects I'm working on in meatspace:

Riparian barrier restoration, especially the valley's creek's and streams as there are a number of rare and threatened species that make their home in our fascinating little valley's freshwater biome

The city is building an overpass by our house, and no one is happy about it, but work is already underway and was before we moved in unfortunately. The neighborhood, largely black, is being increasingly sectioned off from the rest of the city (also largely black, but become increasingly gentrified and stratified as the city council pursues tourism and business classes) including the nearest grocery stores, worsening food insecurity in the area. The food fridges in the area don't quite reach us, so I'm getting into the local conversarion about whether we should work with them to extend theirs or build our own. Currently the conversation leans making our own, as then we could pair on the initiative with our sister towns, as is often done to maximize reach and minimize costs.

I'm looking to pair our home with a local shelter/fostering program for animals, focusing on those with trauma, reactivity, and behavioral issues so they can be rehomed rather than put down. Amara's settling in beautifully, so once she's been here a full year, we may start hosting our guests. Programs like this are great for animal welfare, and can help increase spay/neuter rates in a community, reduce animal abuse and neglect by offering affordable veterinary care, etc. The shelter we worked with in the past had a once per week free vaccination clinic and a once per month $50 spay/neuter (free with scholarship) alongside their regular clinic (which offered sliding fee scales), and placed fosters all throughout the community. They never had fewer than 100 animals in care per shelter location, and yet they only had to keep about 20 animals on site per location. They did great work and I really came to appreciate the value and quality of life they brought to our neighborhood

Fundamentally, if the people currently empowered to take action don't care to, we have two versions of option. 1) make them motivated to take action. 2) do it ourselves.

There are a lot of different ways to do either of those things! But there really isn't a third option. You can't force someone to do something and get a sustainable outcome. Often you can't even do it without fucking yourself harder. So try and get buy in, but always have a plan b in the back of your mind that doesn't depend on needing any more people and resources than what you have.

During meetings, my mom and aunties used to make 3 plans. One was bare bones. Nothing but the cash and bodies on hand. One was utopia. Every resource and volunteer they could possibly want. And the third was Goal. Realistically, how many people do we think we can get to do what, and how can we make the most of that. Mom always said that even when all 3 versions of the plan went to shit, having taken the time think about those different perspectives and ideas was really helpful to reacting well and pivoting in the moment as needed.

This last part is a bit personal, right, but it's mattered to me, so I'll share it regardless in case I'm not the only one it's useful for.

The youth resistance group I worked with was overseen by a pair of UUA ministers, one of whom, Doug, was part of a delegation to Tibet at one point during a lifetime of seeking out learning around international approaches to resistance. What he brought back in this case was something he described learning from the Buddhist monks he trained under in Tibet and Dharamshala. I am 100% NOT going to try to present this as a buddhist thing because I don't know enough about buddhism to speak to that, but I am aware that it's tied to the monk's buddhist ideological origins. Essentially, the idea is similar to Radical Acceptance in DBT, accept that multiple, mutually exclusive truths can all coexist in the same place and time [your brain]. Allow for many versions of Truth to be real at once, and possibility/choice/empowerment within those truths becomes exponentially more attainable. Allow for many versions of outcome to be real all at once, and the load-bearing aspects of your needs across iterations of possible future will be easier to identify and work with. Accept that you have control of nothing but yourself and your actions and use the knowledge that others can only do the same responsibly.

The last thing I learned. When everything feels heavy, set down your obligations, breathe deep, and have a good cry. And if you start to feel helpless or hopeless, remember that nothing exists alone, including you <3

there's a degree sometimes to which i look at some criticisms of political organizing efforts' language and goals (particularly when it focuses on, like, financial priorities and gaining/losing constituents) and feel like... the focus on morality is losing the plot a bit.

like, on the one hand, there's a lot of interpersonal value to criticisms like "you should be calling for public health and safety reform because disabled people's lives matter and it's the morally right thing to do." but on the other hand, the individuals who hold power in society are not moved by moral arguments and are fantastically callous--yes, even democratic politicians. the things they care about are the things that are likely to get them to change their platforms materially, which means "losing constituents who have fears about rising unemployment and a crashing work economy" is one of the relevant concerns to them regarding public health, and any organized movement worth its salt will at some point direct public action and discussion into that realm.

i'm not sure what to do with these thoughts, but i've been thinking about the general concept a lot lately.

[foster-the-world]

Such a great invention

Cereal is such a great invention. I'm a big fan.

Did a home exchange in CT this weekend. A beautiful home on the same block as the ocean. It was scheduled to rain all day Saturday - so it was an extra nice surprise to have good weather. We hiked on a lovely trolley trail, went to a great park on the water, and went to a brewery with plenty of space outside for the kids to run around. Baby boy was a champ. He fell asleep on the ride up there. When we arrived he was freaked out. Holding on to me for dear life. Was running around touching everything within a few minutes. We put him in a pack n play and not a peep of complaint. It gives me hope for our upcoming Utah trip.

While eating breakfast Bee, baby boy and I were alone because my husband and Rebel went to the bathroom. Out of nowhere Bee says "You know whose in charge of me. It's not you. You aren't my Mom. It's not Daddy. It's (-insert her Birth Mom's name)." I kind of expected her to say this type of thing if we made her do something she didn't want to do but not out of nowhere. No recent adoption related happenings, family visits, etc. She's yet to meet her Mom. I was taken aback but I think handled it well enough. I reminded her why her Mom can't take care of her. She asked when she was going to live with her, again. I told her she wasn't going to, why and how she would always be in our family. I told her I know it's confusing and that we understand if she is mad or sad about it. I told her that my Husband and I are always willing to talk to her about it. She can come to us anytime. I tried to keep my response very neutral. I wanted to be truthful while letting her know we support her no matter if she is happy or not happy about being adopted. I partially think she was testing out waters to see how I would react and partially think it is just confusing for a five year old. Who knows? She dropped the topic and was up dancing around the restaurant seconds later. We drove to a hike where she was hugging me, telling me she loved me, etc. It doesn't hurt my feelings at all. I know it's not a personal attack. I know she loves me and is well bonded in our family. It just makes me feel sad that she has so much she has to figure out. So many things that are no fault of her own. It's a lot for her to have to process. I only want all of the good things in life for her. She's only five - she shouldn't have to sort through all of these things and the feelings they bring about. The day she was born (actually sooner) she already had to deal with so much. I hope she knows her Dad and I support her and whatever feelings she has. Will teach her sister to do the same. And I think/hope that it will help her to have a brother who is also adopted. Although I know he may have totally different feelings about his experience.

An adult adoptee in one of the Transracial Adoption group recently shared his thoughts on how adoptive parents talk about birth parents. He said in the 60's/70s Birth parents were either not allowed to be talked about (are you even a parent if "we don't talk about Bruno" didn't pop in your head??) or they were described as complete villains. He mentioned how in some adoption circles the pendulum has swung to the complete opposite side- now you are only allowed to rave about amazing Birth parents regardless of what they've done. I've thought about that post so many times over the past few months. I hope we can walk that line - of being truthful without turning anyone into a villain while also not acting like everything was perfect. Bee can be as mad as she wants to be at her Mom, us, whoever. In some ways, she got a bum deal and she's allowed to be super pissed about it.

[tenyacore]

sweet summer days

-> husband!iida tenya x gn!reader

read before continuing!!: although reader is labeled as gender neutral, the kids sharing both your features and tenya’s implies female anatomy or the ability to bear a child. this can be twisted to be gender neutral friendly though, like a relative of yours being a surrogate. you have tohru (7), toshiro (6), and tomoe (5).

ack this isnt as good as i wanted it to be ㅠㅅㅠ it just sounded so much better in my head aaaaa. i just wanted sweet n soft cuteness. i also fell in love with the children omg i want. kids. now ...

warnings: none.

word count: 1.4k words

check out my masterlist for more of my works!!

laughter and the sound of tiny feet running across the hardwood floor filled your spacious home. what was meant to be a lazy day off for your husband has turned into a chaotic day of cheeky grins, sticky fingers, and rough splashes of pool water. your husband tenya, however, couldn’t be any more happier than he is right now.

the clinking of ice cubes against glass and the mattress dipping underneath you gently woke you up. you look up to see tenya opening a new book he bought recently, quickly becoming submerged in it’s contents. groaning ever so softly, you contemplated whether you should wake up or stay in your comfortable position. unfortunately you didn’t have much of a chance to decide, as your youngest, tomoe, woke you up with a soft grunt, kicking her feet in the air as she desperately tried making her way up onto your bed.

“tomoe? what are you doing up so early?” your husband asks, reaching over you to pick up the girl with ease. tomoe was the sleepiest of your three children; she was shy, silent, and soft in nature, much different than her two older siblings. it was rare to see her this active in the mornings, much less awake, as she had a tendency to nap whenever she saw the chance to.

“tohru and toshiro are fighting again” she whines, a lazy hand reaching up to rub her eye as you sit up, patting down the stray hairs sticking up from her head. she had shoulder length blue hair, with your eyes and smile, along with tenya’s quirk. he swore up and down that he’d train her the best he could so she could continue his legacy. while he promised he had no favorites, you could tell tenya was excited to have tomoe as his successor.

“ahh,” tenya shakes his head “those two tend to bicker quite a lot. did they wake you?” your daughter only responded with a soft nod, already falling back asleep, soothed by her father’s embrace and your gentle hand stroking her head. “i guess i’ll have to scold them a bit for making a commotion, then” tomoe let out a soft ‘mhm’ in agreement, her head finally resting against tenya’s chest as he stood whilst carrying her in his arms.

ever since graduating, becoming an adult, and starting a family with you, tenya’s become a much calmer man. it was a bit hard at first, but after learning from you and tohru that his stiffness and sudden movements aren’t exactly the most relaxing, he tried to become more loose. despite this, he’s still the awkward, nerdy, and strict boy you fell in love with at heart.

“you’re so mean tohru!” your son toshiro’s voice could be heard loudly as soon as you opened the door of your room. your two other kids were in the living room, minecraft sounds playing loudly over their argument.

“i'm not being mean, i'm being fair toshiro! papa made times for us to be on the game so we wouldn’t get into fights!” you sighed, thinking to yourself ‘so much for that schedule tenya put all that effort into’. “you shouldn’t have started a game when you knew your time was almost up!” tohru continued to holler at toshiro, who looked like he was about to cry.

tohru took mostly after tenya, his strict way of being mixing with your louder, more carefree side. she was a stickler for rules but enjoyed picking on her brother and had a tendency to be loud and over-the-top. she had your hair color but tenya’s sharp eyes. she had long hair and lighter skin than the other two from staying inside and reading more than being outside.

“tohru, sometimes, we can just choose to be nice. when you’re nice, most of the time your kindness will be returned. either way, seeing your kindness make someone happy will always be the best part of being nice. if you see that your brother is having a fun time, why don't you let him keep playing?” you take your eldest into your arms, pulling her close to you as you sat down. you weren’t afraid to talk to her about more complex/harder to grasp topics as she was extremely intelligent like her father.

“i guess you’re right…” she hung her head and sighed.

“yeah, tohru!” toshiro angrily huffed, chopping her head tenya style. tomoe continued to sleep as her siblings ran after each other around the house, chaos ensuing wherever they went.

“dad!” toshiro climbed tenya’s back and flashed you a toothy smile. toshiro was the most hyper out of the three, but also a complete cry baby. he was a proud older brother to tomoe yet relied on tohru to protect him, and was an all around happy, cute kid. he had short messy hair that was the same color as yours, with a single streak of blue. he was generally the most balanced combination of you and tenya and had much darker skin than the others, constantly playing around in the sun with todoroki’s kid.

he continued to poke his fathers cheek as he spoke “can we get in the pool today? can we? can we?” he repeated, only stopping and climbing down when your husband caved and said yes to toshi’s whining. “dad! (mom/dad/parent)! you should come in too!” was the last thing the little boy said before disappearing to quickly change and get his towel, which tohru did as well.

“what do you say? wanna go into the pool?” you asked tenya, getting up to change before toshi started whining again. tenya shook his head softly.

“i'm going to cut up some watermelon for the kids and then sit by the pool. i’d rather read for today.” he contentedly sighs as he moves toward the kitchen island, pulling out a watermelon from god knows where and starting to cut it. allowing him to enjoy his day however he’d like to, you went on ahead without him.

“how are you not burning up, ten?” you asked once he joined you all outside, just the mere sight of him in the blazing sun making you sweat. he just smiled and shrugged, continuing his book with the sounds of his children playing together in the background. you held tomoe cautiously as she half heartedly splashed the other kids. honestly, how she came out with a personality more like todoroki’s is beyond both you and tenya, though todoroki jokes that tomoe is really just his child that you guys stole from him.

the first to leave the pool was tohru, then curious toshi, and then you after tomoe whined that she wanted to go with the other two. they all went back inside, towels covering them before pouncing on the plate of watermelon like it was the last in the world. luckily tenya preplanned and saved a couple small slices for the two of you, otherwise you would’ve missed out.

laying next to your husband on the beach chair, he let out a soft groan when your cold, wet hair and hands met his warm skin. “did you not bring out a towel? you’re really cold, love.” you let out a whine which tenya knew meant ‘no and i regret not bringing one’. he adjusted himself to put his arm around you, in attempts to warm you up.

it wasn't long before the sound of children running came close, tohru chasing toshiro angrily and tomoe slowly trailing behind them. you chuckled as tomoe climbed onto you and tenya, a watermelon seed stuck to her cheek and another in her hair. as you removed the seeds, tohru and toshiro kept running after one another.

“toshiro you took the last piece of watermelon so don’t cry when you get what you deserve!” she shrieked, and you decided you probably should no longer let her go over to bakugo’s house, because as much as his youngest boy liked to read with tohru, the rest of his kids took after him, which was probably where she learned her more aggressive behaviors.

holding tomoe in your arms, your children became background noise that lulled you to sleep. the last words you heard were “papa can we go to sanrio puroland tomorrow!?” from tohru. with tenya being puddy at the hands of his children, it was safe to say the summer fun wasn’t done just yet.

[chibi-mushroom]

Hey everyone! Finally get to post my piece for the memory of promises zine! check out the link here if you want to grab one of your own copies in the leftover sale! I was so happy to be able to join in on this zine, and I hope you guys enjoy all the work that went into it! (Also keep in mind this was written before MoM.)

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Namine rubbed her temples and looked at the clock. Midnight already. DiZ was not going to like this. The next time he came into the white room would bring on some lecture or punishment of some kind. She had been working furiously all afternoon trying to get past this one section of memory, but there was something that was keeping her back. Her pulse began to race. She was feeling sick. The door to the white room opened and with a squeak, Namine ducked under the table, fearing the familiar stride of the man in red.

"It's okay, it's just me. You can come out now." A soft voice sounded in her ears. "You're safe. DiZ said he needed to run an errand and wouldn't be back for a couple of days."

Slowly looking up, Namine could see the outstretched hand of the only comfort she had in this lonely place. "Riku. You're back."

She took his offering and stood up. He hadn't let go of her hand just yet, blindfold still covering those beautiful blue green eyes he had. She was glad it stopped him from seeing things like her girlish blush. He was only offering his hand as a friend. Besides, it was wrong for her to want to be with him- nobodies weren't supposed to feel anything. So why did she?

"You're shaking." Riku stated simply. "Have you eaten anything today?"

So he could even feel the slight tremor in her hands. "No, not exactly."

"Do you want me to get something for you? I think there are some leftovers in the fridge."

"No, I'm alright. I have to get back to work." Namine tried to take her hand from his, but he held onto it all the tighter, leaning down a little to be at eye level with her. 

"You were working when I left, and I can tell you haven't gotten any sleep. How are you expecting to take care of Sora when you can't take care of yourself?"

Right. Namine thought. He's just like DiZ. All he cares about is getting Sora restored. You're just a tool.

Still, she couldn't help but notice the way her breath caught in her throat as his blinded eyes sunk to meet her tired ones. Maybe she should take a small break. All of this stress was making her read too much into small gestures.

Namine simply nodded, and Riku left to warm her up some food. Sensing that going back to Sora's memories would be futile, she grabbed her sketch pad and turned it to the very last page. This was her secret page, covered in things she thought about. Mindless doodles she drew when she was waiting for the computer to check on Sora’s physical well-being.

The sketch pad was not necessary for her magic to work. She could rearrange memories- crush the hearts of her poor unsuspecting victims- without it. She used it though to help her concentrate. By visualizing the memories, she was able to make a more convincing edit or capture the feelings that were hiding beneath the surface. So many times she had drawn Sora, Riku and Kairi together. And sure there were strong feelings of both love and jealousy, but had she not had her sketch pad, she might have missed Sora's emotions of gratitude for two stalwart best friends, confusion about school topics they had recently studied, and hope that Kairi would want to go with him to the first school dance, even though he knew they would just go together and bail early to hang out on the play island like they always did whenever the school had some social.

"Here you go. It's nothing special, but it's better than nothing." Riku interrupted her thoughts with a plate of food.

With a gasp, Namine hurried to cover her sketch pad. Even though she knew he couldn't see it, he moved so gracefully that she sometimes wondered if he really was blind. Although those first couple of days made the mansion quite a bit louder with his cries of annoyance as he bumped into furniture. He even fell into the secret compartment that hid the computer lab, but luckily managed to land safely.

"Drawing something you don't want anyone to see?" Riku smirked. 

"No!" Namine replied a bit sharper than she thought. "Maybe."

Riku laughed as he set their plates down and pulled a chair over. "I'm only kidding. You don't have to be working on Sora nonstop. If you want to take a moment for yourself, then do it."

"No, I need to be working on Sora. It was my fault he's like this in the first place. I want to keep my promise." Namine picked up the white plastic fork. For once would it hurt to have some color around here?

With a sigh, Riku held his hand out for her to hold. "We've been over this, Nam. What happened wasn't your fault. You were being used." Softly Riku muttered "you still are."

Namine looked at him for a moment and then looked down at her food. She picked at it for a few moments before softly sliding her hand in his and taking a couple of bites. She ate in a comfortable silence, simply feeling the pressure that came from the gentle touch. This sort of thing wasn't unusual for them. They could usually be found in silence with their hands connected. But the mountain of pressure from the recent block in memories and lack of self care was threatening to squish Namine with its enormous weight.

"How's the restoration going?" Riku asked.

Namine's stomach began to twist around itself. "I'm….not sure." 

Riku squeezed her hand, urging her to explain. Namine sighed, unsure of how to continue. Would he get mad if she told the truth? He had slowly been becoming more like DiZ, after all. He used to be there with her when she was getting told off. These days, Riku was never usually in the white room for more than five minutes unless it was late at night.

"You remember what Sora's mom used to tell him all the time, right?"  Riku recalled.

"Never talk to strangers on the play island?"

Riku chuckled, remembering a secret promise. "A problem shared is a problem halved. If you tell me, it might relieve some of the pressure on you."

There was no avoiding it, not as long as he held her hand. 

 "It's just that, well-" Namine fumbled for the words. "There's been a bit of a roadblock. I've been doing my best to sort it out, tracing the connections, but it's like the memories slip away as soon as I think I have a grasp on them. I may have gone through half a notebook trying to find a solid piece."

There was a pause, as if Riku were considering what to say. 

"I'll go get you a new notebook tomorrow, then. As for the memories, we'll get it figured out. You need to take a break, anyway."

"No!" Namine swallowed back further emotion. Maybe she really did need some sleep. She was being more irrational than she expected. "No, it's fine. I'm sure I'm doing something wrong."

"Don't say stuff like that. If there's anyone who can make this situation right, it's you. Please, just take a few hours to rest tomorrow, okay?" Riku squeezed her hand again.

"I don't really have a choice here, do I?" Namine sighed.

"You always have a choice. I'm just asking you as someone who cares a lot about you."

Someone who cares? Namine thought. She slowly nodded in reply. Maybe a break was exactly what she needed.

"Thank you, Riku."

One Year Later

Again Riku tried to beat Marluxia, and again he was defeated. He only had this last battle to finish, having started against the organization members he recognized or had personally fought against. Which, admittedly wasn't many, but after several attempts, he was down to the last. It frustrated him that he still wasn't quite used to the keyboard controls, and Sora's moves were much less based in strength and relied much more on magic. Riku had never been very good with magic, focusing on perfecting his cure and dark firaga spells instead of learning the large array of magic that his friends had mastered. 

Some keyblade master I turned out to be. Riku thought, sitting back in his seat and folding his arms. I can't even stop my two best friends from leaving me again. This is just like back then…

His mind began to drift away with thoughts of Castle Oblivion and Twilight Town. He heard the door open and gentle footsteps move toward him.

"Hey Aerith. We can work on that scarf in a minute. I have to get some more ethers for data Sora first."

"I take it the fight didn't go well then?" A soft voice walked closer.

He closed his eyes and shook his head. Not Aerith. 

"Hey Namine. How could you tell?"

Namine placed a hand on his shoulder and gave a gentle squeeze. "You're really tense. Besides, I could feel your frustration from a block away."

What anger and annoyance had once plagued Riku's mind had since washed away. All he could register was how reassuring Namine's hand on his shoulder felt. She smelled nice, too. A faint blush warmed his cheeks. Ever since Kairi had insisted on going to sleep and Terra had left for the dark realm with Aqua and Ven, Namine was the only person Riku shared everything with. She had heard him vent several times, and she had been helping Aerith teach him how to knit. It was her delicate fingers that had lead him through the steps of a cable.

"I guess I need a little bit of a break." Riku said with a sigh. "Wanna go get some ice cream or something?"

"Sure." Namine smiled, stepping back so he could get up and stretch. They began to talk as they walked to their usual ice cream shop. 

Since Scrooge, Huey and Dewey had returned home, the ice cream shop had been manned by one of the local citizens. He usually gave Riku a discount, so Riku usually put some munny in the tip jar. It had become routine over the past year to go whenever Namine came to visit from Twilight Town.

"How is everything going with Roxas and Xion?" Riku asked, sitting down and unwrapping his fruit bar.

"Slow." Namine replied, taking a small lick from her chocolate cherry ice cream cone. She wanted to try all of the flavors, and this was the last one. "Not too bad, but I think I preferred the strawberry cheesecake the best."

"That was a flavor Kairi always liked." Riku smiled softly. 

When he saw the way Namine looked for just the hair of a second, he realized that was probably the wrong thing to say. He inwardly cursed himself and his inability to be the suave guy all the girls had thought he was growing up. Kairi and Namine didn't get much of a chance to talk after she got her replica body, as Kairi had almost immediately asked to be put under. Riku wondered what it was like living inside a heart of pure light. Just like Castle Oblivion, she didn't talk about it much.

"We should get some for her when she wakes up." Namine continued to eat her cone. There was an uncomfortable silence for just a moment before Namine spoke up again. "Who were you fighting when I came in?"

"Marluxia. He was the head of the castle, right?"

Namine nodded.

"I never really got to meet him as I was down in the basement back then. I'm sorry you had to deal with a guy like him."

"It's alright. I...had some support. There was Sora and Donald and Goofy. And despite everything I did to him, there was your replica, too." Namine spoke slowly, choosing her words with care. "But don't feel bad. He made his decisions, like everyone else."

This time, it was Riku's turn to nod in agreement, taking a bite from his treat.

"After the data battles are all said and done, what happens next?" Namine asked softly.

"I...don't know. All I know is that I've been having these weird dreams lately."

"I wondered. You look tired." Namine grabbed on to Riku's hand, intertwining their fingers.

Maybe it was a reflex, maybe it was a force of habit, like how they used to sit back in the old mansion. Either way, the touch on its own was enough to pull Riku away from the dark thoughts that usually sat at the horizon of his mind. He squeezed her hand in response.

"Don't hesitate to call me if you ever need someone to talk to. I miss our little midnight chats." Namine admitted.

"I do too." Riku smiled softly. "They really helped clear my mind back then."

"A problem shared is a problem halved, remember?" Namine was glad she could actually see his eyes as she recalled back to his words that helped her through her time at the old mansion. "Care to share anything?"

Riku paused. He sighed before starting to speak. After he told her of the recurring dream he'd been having with the buildings and the feeling of being watched, he also admitted to the weight that had been pinned on his shoulders. 

"I know it might sound silly, but I can't help but wonder if these dreams are connected to Sora somehow. I just wish I could understand it more." Riku finished his bar and set the popsicle stick on the bench beside him.

Namine had just finished her ice cream as well, wiping her face with the napkin. "Maybe it's time you take another journey."

"With the data battle still to fight and Kairi still asleep? I can't leave now."

"Maybe not now, but after the last battle is won." Namine gently pulled his hand close to her and began massaging it. "But that means I can't follow you. Will you be alright on your own? Maybe you can check Kairi's dreams."

"I...don't know. I haven't used my dream eater powers in a long time and the process is still kind of fuzzy for me." He could feel his muscles relax as she worked at his weary hand.

Doubt was rising in his chest. Maybe she was right. Who was he kidding? He wasn't ready for this kind of thing. He wasn't like Sora or Kairi who could follow their hearts at a moment's notice. He couldn't always feel the way it was trying to lead him.

But as he saw Namine patiently working on his hands, the stiff muscles being brought to relax against her fingers, a light shone through the storm of his doubt. How he hadn't realized it before was a mystery. Ever since they had met, she had been the light in the dark, just as he had provided shade for her in the brightest situations. As she finished the massage, she tenderly squeezed his hands, reassuring him that she was there and willing to help. Surely that was love.

He felt love for her, no question. But with Sora and Kairi gone and asleep, there never seemed to be a good moment to tell her what his heart really wanted to say. 

"We...we should be getting back." Namine sighed. "Are you sure you're alright?"

"No, but then, I'm not really all that sure of anything anymore."

"If there's anything I know, it's that things will get better. We'll find Sora. I don't know how or when, but we will." Namine took his hand again, standing before him.

Namine took a quick breath and then leaned over, placing a quick kiss atop his head. Ordinarily, she wouldn't be able to reach, but since he was sitting down, she could offer a small token of her affection and confidence in his abilities.

She and Riku's faces filled with blush, although a smile tugged at her lips. Namine didn't have enough courage to kiss him on the lips like she had wanted to for so long, but this was safe. He couldn't spurn her for a harmless kiss to the head. After all, what was some reassurance between friends?

"Thank you, Namine." Riku had a hard time looking at this angel of a woman without his heartbeat increasing.

To think she was willing to be by his side after all this. He decided there and then that he would listen to his heart and tell her of his feelings...after they set everything right. Once Sora and Kairi were home and together, then they could sort out their own relationship. It would give him yet another reason to bring his best friend home. 

He could still feel the kiss on his forehead, and it brought a genuine smile to his face. He stood up and began walking away from Merlin's house.

"Don't feel like you have to stop working on the data battles on my account. I just wanted to make sure you were doing alright." Namine stopped for a second.

"We can get back to those soon enough. I need a little longer before I get back into it." He took his trash and threw it into a nearby can. "There are some fountains that are really pretty this time of day nearby if you want to check them out with me."

A smile formed on Namine's lips. "I'd love to, Riku."

[mellometal]

Hi, everyone.

I have something extremely important to talk about that is NOT fandom related. I really do hope this can reach everyone on here, especially since it's still Autism Acceptance Month.

A few quick questions for anyone who happens to see this before I dive right into this: Have you ever heard of Dhar Mann? If so, have you ever seen his videos? What do you think about them?

If you don't know who Dhar Mann is, he's a content creator whose main platforms are Instagram and YouTube. He makes these videos about various scenarios from a couple on the brink of divorce, to kids bullying one of their peers, even about Autism Spectrum Disorder. All of his videos have some kind of message at the end that really drives the point home. One of his most recent videos is about ASD, which is what I'm going to discuss today.

Personally, I think some of his videos are interesting, despite the concepts being reused and recycled over and over; however, how I feel about the video he made about ASD is the complete opposite. I'll summarize the video he made so you don't have to watch it. (If you really want to watch it to see exactly what I'm talking about, I'm not gonna stop you. Do what you need to do in order to form your own opinion.)

The video Dhar Mann made about ASD is about this boy who excludes his autistic brother from participating in activities with his friends at school. The boy bullies his autistic brother and does pretty much everything to make his brother's life Hell, even going as far as to pretend that he doesn't know his own brother. The boy "instantly regrets his decision" when their mom is called into the school to discipline her son for bullying his autistic brother. What his mother says is what REALLY upsets me. The message of this video in particular is this, WORD FOR FUCKING WORD. I wish I was kidding. But here's the message below:

How the video concludes is the boy reluctantly includes his autistic brother in every single activity, the boy sees his brother's potential, and they live happily ever after. Whoop-dee-fucking-doo.

As an autistic woman who works with disabled people for a living, that message Dhar Mann put in this video specifically is not only extremely ableist, but is also spreading misinformation about ASD.

News flash to all the people who still spread misinformation about ASD: Not every single autistic person is a little white boy in elementary school, nor is every single autistic person a young white man who's a Super Genius™️. (I could go on all day long about how the media stereotypes autistic characters and autistic people in general, but that's a whole other topic.) No autistic person is the same, meaning we all fall on the spectrum in different places and all that jazz. There's no "look" to autistic people either because no autistic person looks the same.

Autistic women exist.

Autistic girls exist.

Autistic nonbinary people exist.

Autistic BIPOC and AAPI exist.

Autistic people who are completely nonverbal exist.

Autistic people who are completely verbal exist.

Autistic people who are in the middle of being nonverbal and verbal exist.

Autistic people who require minimal to no support exist.

Autistic people who require moderate support exist.

Autistic people who require full support exist.

Autistic LGBT people exist. (Reason why I bring this one up is because the media almost always shows cishet autistic men and I don't see autistic LGBT representation very often, if ever.)

Autism isn't something you can "catch". People have this same mentality about ADHD and Tourette's Syndrome too, which, by the way, you can't "catch" either.

Autism doesn't "go away" when you reach adolescence or adulthood. Why? BECAUSE AUTISTIC TEENAGERS AND AUTISTIC ADULTS EXIST. Autistic kids grow into autistic teenagers, then into autistic adults.

You can't "cure" it either. Unless you can build a time machine and a device to go back in time to change how a person's brain develops, there is no cure. ABA therapy is a fucking shit show in itself that does more harm than good.

The title of the video is a real squick for me too. It's mostly because I don't particularly enjoy people using person first language (the "boy with autism" part). I've seen many other autistic people on multiple other platforms sharing that same sentiment and preferring identity first language (autistic person). There are also others who prefer using person first language and those who don't have a preference. That's all perfectly valid. Whatever you prefer people using when referring to you, or whatever you refer to yourself as, in this case, is totally valid and I love you. This goes for disabilities in general, not just Autism Spectrum Disorder.

Regarding the message in this video, here's my response to it! A quick heads-up, my response is VERY long and VERY passionate. I was VERY close to making a response video where I tear that video apart AND tear Dhar Mann a new asshole. Unfortunately, it worked me up so much that I was really struggling with what I wanted to say and I had to stop multiple times because I kept stumbling on my words. That's how angry this message made me. I'll try my best to explain whatever parts you have questions about. I put my response in the nicest way I possibly could, despite me seething with rage, wanting to go OFF on him.

(The first part of my response are the first three screenshots, and the second part are the last three screenshots.)

The first part of my response, I did forget to add that the message is offensive and disrespectful to autistic people as a whole. I apologize. My initial comment got way too long. I pretty much covered that when I told him the message is ableist. I wanted to clear that up before anyone asks about it.

The second part of my response is me opening up about my experience with being diagnosed with ASD, formerly known as As//per//ger's Syn//dro//me, at sixteen years old. I also went into how not calling ASD what it truly is (which is a disability) and calling it a "different ability" instead is extremely harmful and is treating being disabled like it's a bad thing.

By the way, saying that a disabled person is disabled isn't a bad thing. I'm disabled. It is what it is. Does it have its challenges? You bet. Does it help me with certain things? Hell yeah. I can really absorb information about my favorite bands, characters, shows, books, etc., and tell you a lot about those things. For example, I can tell you that Su can't ride a bike or read manga and she's okay with that. I can also tell you she can't tie her shoes very well, which is why her boots don't have laces and are slip-on and/or zip-up. But that doesn't mean my struggles are nonexistent or that I never struggle. I do, and it makes my life Hell at times.

The narrative that autism is a bad thing to have, every autistic person is somehow broken and they all need to be "fixed" is also super fucked up and not true. That's the narrative that I received when I was diagnosed by a therapist I had. I'm gonna be real here, I cried when I was first told that I was diagnosed with ASD. I felt like I was broken. I already felt like a total outcast. Being told about my diagnosis made me feel even more broken than I already felt. I was so ashamed of myself, despite me not doing anything wrong whatsoever, that I masked for SEVEN YEARS of my life. I masked for so long that I forgot I was even diagnosed with ASD in the first place. I wasn't taught how to really put my special interests into good use. I kinda had to figure that out on my own. I was pretty much under the assumption that me being interested in anime, cartoons, music, comics, theatre, writing, etc., to the point of obsession, was somehow weird and hurting people around me. You know, despite those things being harmless. Despite me being able to separate those things from other things that are important (like work, for example). Despite my only surviving parent, other family members, and the woman he was dating at the time completely overreacting and not bothering to see exactly what makes these things so special to me.

(By the way, having a disability does not completely make who a person is. There are a lot more things that make who a person is than that.)

It's kinda shocking that I wasn't able to come to terms with my diagnosis until this year. Considering that I masked for so long due to being ashamed of myself, plus being treated like a burden for being disabled, it's probably not very surprising. I initially thought at the time that it was the worst thing to have, as I was already struggling with enough shit back then, but came to realize it's not a bad thing. It doesn't change who I am. But I'm glad I came to terms with it finally nonetheless.

This is getting way too long, so I'm gonna wrap things up here. If you've read this far, thank you so much. I'm sorry this got so long!

If you watched the video, what are your thoughts on it? If this is your first time hearing about Dhar Mann, how do you feel about him? If you're a Dhar Mann fan, did this change your opinion on him in any way? Feel free to sound off in the comments!

Have a great day, everyone!