#also i'm a senior now??????
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@orangerosebush's post here, with my comment and @fowlblue's tags today got me thinking.
Artemis Senior has been teaching his son matters of business from a young age. Not only was Artemis, at 11 years old, discussing stocks with his father, but Fowl Senior had been imparting his wisdom onto his son for years by that point, discussing the ever-increasing value of gold with him before tucking him into bed. Even outside of pure monetary value, Sr. had tried to go legitimate with his business dealings, leading Artemis to have a few legal ventures of his own.
We also see very early on in the books that Artemis has been regularly using Butler as a resource for his plots: bouncing ideas off him was apparently a fairly common tactic when he was scheming.
Both Artemis Senior and Butler are interested in (or at least, not opposed to) educating Artemis on the ways of their lifestyle(s). It would be Artemis Senior who would have taught his son the value of banks and safety deposit boxes and hidden safes but it was Butler who was actively working with Artemis to rob those safety deposit boxes.
In the same vein of breaking-and-entering, TLC also gives us the fun little moment where Butler hands Artemis his own lockpicks, to get into the workings of the bomb.
With one line we learn that Artemis knows how to pick locks, but does not have his own set of lockpicks. Butler, on the other hand, has both the tools and knowledge how to use them. Partnered with a brief mention in TTP of some the specific trades of those previously employed by Artemis Senior (including such things as crime lords, insider traders, and cat burglars), we can extrapolate that Artemis Senior would generally hire someone to pick a lock for him, rather than do so himself.
It's pretty logical to conclude then that Artemis learned big-picture management from his father, and day-to-day skillsets from his bodyguard.
Essentially, Artemis Senior taught Artemis how to run a criminal empire. Butler taught Artemis how to be a criminal.
#artemis fowl#artemis senior#domovoi butler#and this doesn't even get into the aliases butler has!#he clearly has a lot of his own but then Artemis ALSO gets some#'what's our cover' 'i thought Stephan Baskir and his uncle Constantin'#Artemis Sr put his own damn name on the boat he was using to get cola to russia#you know damn well *he* didn't encourage Arty to hide his identity#(i'm not getting into the needs of artemis to hide his identity due to being a child and wanting respect afforded an adult in these tags#that's a rant for a different time)#there's such a prevalent theme of a Fowl saying 'i want X' and their Butler saying 'i know a guy'#(like 80% of the time the Butler would be The Guy but there's that other 20% where having extra contacts would be helpful)#we see it when Artemis asks Butler to make certain arrangements for capturing Holly and then again getting the mirrored contacts#we see Butler arranging car rentals or drivers and apparently needing to do so quite frequently#yet in TTP Sr just says he'll casually take a limousine where he needs to go#it's probably such a huge part of the Fowl-Butler dynamic to have someone who can actually perform all the necessary minutiae of daily crim#or at least know how to or know someone who knows how to#aaaaand now i'm thinking of how the Butlers are essentially disposable#sure death is a thing but how many Butlers were imprisoned for the sake of saving their Fowl the same fate#if someone's gotta take the fall for a crime it might as well be the person who'd take a bullet for the other#once you've already agreed to be on the wrong side of the law and accepted that you may give up your life (physically) for someone#what's taking it a step further and agreeing to give up your life (metaphorically) by languishing in jail for 10-80 yrs
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ayoo guess who finally sat down and caught up with cultivate B)
is me. so you know what that means.
spoiler warning for cultivate ch 30-37
there was actually.... more things i wanted to draw but I already did so many I had to physically restrain myself hfsjkkdh anyway yes can you tell i love this fic very much
yet once again. cultivate by the wonderful @neonghostcat
#liushen#cultivate#cultivate: slow life on a monster infested mountain#mu qingfang#tagging him as well since theres lot of focus on him lol#and shen jiu as well u have to excuse me I love them they're meow meows#there was gonna be more sj content also but he ended up being cut in the end#wait- hdfdfhkj probably shouldnt talk about cutting something and SJ in the same sentence lmao jhfksdhfk ok bad joke sorry#anyway aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa absolutely deceased with all that has been revealed and covered in the past few chapter#actually dead wonderful powerful talented incredible showstopping never seen before#my most favourite part of cultive is its mysteries without a shadow of a doubt they're so intriguing and the reveal is ALWAYS sooo satisfyi#so the chain reaction of so many answers of the big ones tm? chefs kiss MWA#speaking of mysteries i never mentioned it before because I didn't know how to incorporate it without it being awkward but#for the longest time one particular piece of info has been rotting in my brain#and it was the off-hand comment on of the aqueduct by LQG#it is SO SILLY but THATS the one that has been just spinning in my brain FROM THEN ON ALL THE TIME it is indeed not the actually much coole#checkovs guns that have been setup nooo it was THIS hjkjsdfhksd I HAD TO KNOW where that was going AND NOW I KNOW I CAN REST EASY jsdhfkd#so yeah absolutely wonderful chapters indeed beautiful powerful#also some of you may noticed that time and time again I keep switching up the seniority between bai zhan and qian cao#and i have to formally apologize for that it is in fact not out of lack of attention to the text I'm just shdjkas#if im not mistaken qian caos position is not set in stone in canon so its free for grabs to put it in any of the free spots on the list#so i should respect neonghostcats (beloved i am so sorry) list in this case but i physically couldn't bring myself to write mqf as shidi#HSAJHS im sorry i am so biased and from doctors family i cannot put him in my head in peak seniority so low I'm sry i am legally not allowe#so lets just pretend i wrote it correctly ok sadhkas eyes closed xD#OOF th etags got long this time but im just SOOOO EXCITED WITH THIS FIC AND GOT FEELINGS OK BYE#anyway neonghostcat godspeed recovery buddy!!#also i hope using neonghostcat isnt like....calling u by your full name hdkfh but no idea to which parts i should shorten it either so hah
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I NEVER POSTED THIS but in April i made a favorite character bingo for fun. some spaces i feel i was just trying to find something to fill in but i think this accurately reflects my tastes
alternative:
#i think the only ones i'm iffy on would be Cornfed Butch and maybe Felix but i'm also not iffy on them#Butch and Felix get seniority in that i've loved them since i was a kid. though i haven't seen all that many Felix cartoons/never did as a#kid but was obsessed with his design and dreamed of owning a Kit Cat Clock for years because of him. and now i have one above my desk as i#type this :)#Cornfed i absolutely love but i haven't picked up Duckman in months. so that's the only reason i'm iffy#i would say the heaviest hitters here are Daffy Porky SpongeBob Plankton Patrick Lazlo Lumpus Slinkman#my taste in characters can be summed up as: excessively jubilant and obsessive extroverts.. reserved cute autistic guys.. loudmouths#aaaand jerks#there is a lot of overlap between categories though i'd say#OH. and goofballs. but lots of overlap again
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Everyone Introduced in Dimension 20's Fantasy High: Junior Year episode 20 (finale)
#dimension 20#dimension 20 spoilers#d20 introductions#fhjy#fantasy high junior year#d20 fhjy#WOW dang. what a season#i'm glad the episode didn't end on like. as bleak of a note as it could have for the ratgrinders#being literal teens that were taken advantage of by adults that groomed them and all#was honestly REALLY obsessed by the implications of like how kipperlily's shatterstar was willing and the rest of her friends' weren't.#like there are so many fucking ways that could be interpreted#was she the last to go? was she the first? did she KNOW? was she complicit in it? did she do it by her own hand? what HAPPENED there?#i'm so obsessed. like holy fuck#also this is something vague i was hoping for but like- in the combat when ally said they wanted to go for oisin after he died at first#i was thinking of something like. that they might revive the ratgrinders whose shatter stars already left to have them rejoin the fight#on THEIR side for the purposes of saving the others? but that didn't happen and went on otherwise#i can't. fucking believe. that we got fucking blimey'd AGAIN. fucking insane#and now K2 canonically exists in the real world#fig has an army of inevitable automatons hunting her. fabian has a literal unborn nemesis. adaine has a wizard mom to kill.#senior year problems..... honestly i feel like the high level play this season was really fun to watch#and i think i'd really enjoy seeing a senior year too#what a season. i was IMMENSELY enjoying it for the majority of it that like Starkly dropped around eps 18 and 19 that left a bad taste#but i don't know. i feel like the finale managed to salvage some of that good that i'd really enjoyed over the course of the season#what a ride though‚ I did enjoy it a lot#see y'all next season!!
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"I think you should totally get in the back of my truck, actually," Leo says, linking pinkies with Jason. "What's the line? 'I can show you the world'?"
Jason stares down at where their fingers are curled together, peach on olive. He can't stop looking. "You don't have a truck."
Leo groans. "That was one time. I promise this one's legal. See?" He gently untangles their hands and slips behind the blue Chevy, returning with a slip of wrinkled paper that he triumphantly shoves in Jason's face.
LEO, I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU BREAK MY CAR WHILE I'M IN IOWA I WILL HAUNT YOU TO THE END OF TIME.
Your loving cousin, Nyssa (P.S. You can take your boy for a ride. I'll allow it. There's blankets in the back (and please help yourself to the glovebox). Don't tell me.)
Jason's eyes travel down the sparkly purple pen, catching on the note at the bottom before flickering back up. There's something that aches in his chest at the words 'your boy'.
He's not sure what expression takes over his face, but Leo, for his part, sees him and immediately ducks his head down so he can read the paper too, frowning. Jason follows his eyes down to the same line as they widen and Leo turns a raging, glorious red before hastily re-crumpling the note and sticking it into one of the many pockets of his cargo pants.
He clears his throat awkwardly while inspecting the dying grass at their feet. It looks like it could be good grass if it ever rains again this month, nice and long and thick.
..Yeah, nevermind.
He takes his glasses off and cleans them in an attempt to - what, exactly? It's not like he's got the object permanence of a toddler. It's not like looking away will stop him from thinking about red-hot blushes and bouncing curls and sharp smiles and -
Leo claps once, calling Jason's attention back up to him and the pretty blush staining his freckled nose. He looks just as awkward, laughing bashfully.
"Well, that's just Nyssa. Uh, she probably wouldn't actually haunt me, she doesn't believe in ghosts - not, I mean, if you do -" his words trip over each other, diverting the original innuendo that was definitely just meant to tease Leo since Jason's never even met her, not to mention he's not his, finally ending with - "but as you can see, it's clearly perfectly legal. So."
Jason raises an eyebrow. "Somehow I doubt that." Leo groans. "Oh, come on, dude, live a little, why dontcha?" He sidles up to him again, draping a warm arm over his shoulders and drawing him over to the car doors. "I know, you know, your dad's in California, your mom's in Paris, and your sister's at a party."
Jason opens his mouth to protest again and -
"- and before you say that you have homework," Leo scoffs, "allow me to remind you that we did our homework together yesterday, and you're already done your math homework for tomorrow, because you're a nerd."
Jason closes his mouth. "It's a school night," he offers weakly.
"Yeah, and every minute you have us waste out here is another minute we're not in the car, ergo another minute we're wasting, on a school night." Leo steps around him and holds his hands out again, eventually latching on to Jason's wrists and tugging him closer so he can peer into his eyes.
Jason may or may not forget how to breathe.
"Are you tired? You don't look tired," Leo frowns. "If you really don't want to go, I won't force you, y'know."
Jason forces his lungs to expand, contract, expand, so he can blurt out, "No, I mean, you got me. I'll go."
Leo grins as bright as the setting sun and twists around, whooping. He not-so-gently pushes Jason towards the car door before jogging over to hop into the driver's seat.
It takes a while, once they're actually on the road and leaving their neighbourhoods behind, that Jason finally goes, "You know, I'm just as concerned with how legal this is as I am with the fact that you still haven't told me where we're going."
Leo glares at him through the mirror. "Hey, if I told you then it wouldn't be a surprise, now would it?"
Jason hates surprises. "For all I know, you just kidnapped me for a surprise road trip to Toronto, and I didn't even pack my toothbrush."
Laughter bubbles out of the boy sitting at the wheel, quickly escalating into a full guffaw. "You're funny," Leo gasps, wiping away tears at a red light. "How did I not notice that you're funny?"
Jason's definitely never been told that he's funny. He might joke, sure, but being 'funny' is reserved for people like Percy, people like Leo or Cecil, who carry humour on them like sugar on a pastry, baked into their laughs and sprinkled over top with how clever they are.
No matter how hard Jason's tried, he's never been very clever.
Leo's still laughing, now more of a soft giggle as he pulls into the left lane to make a turn. He tries not to let it affect him.
"You should joke more often, dude. Bet all the girls would love that."
Jason looks outside at the trees and farms they're passing. Judging by the position of the sun, they're heading pretty much due south. There's nothing down south for them to be doing, though, especially not this late at night.
Skinny dipping, maybe. He wouldn't put it past Leo to suggest something like that and actually go through with it. But dragging him along? They barely know each other. What's a couple months on all the other people he knows?
"You wanna turn the radio on?" Leo says. Jason looks over to see him watching him with an odd smile. "Shotgun's choice, right? Don't worry, I won't judge. Even though I bet you listen to those 24-hour 'nature recordings' for fun and don't know what real music sounds like."
Jason rolls his eyes and plays with the dial until the 106.1 comes on. Leo groans. "Seriously? They keep playing, like, the same six artists over and over. Sure, Top 40's fine, but show a little variety, you know?"
He shrugs. It's like Leo said - he doesn't really know radio stations. His dad - when he deigns to drive the family places - is much more of a silence-of-doom, or failing that, an ominous-car-conversations person. "You put something on, then, if you're so set on it." He replies.
The warm light from the street plays over Leo's knuckles as he switches the wheel to one hand, blindly flailing the other one towards Jason until he hits the box behind the gear shift. "Pick a CD from here, whatever's fine. Eh, maybe not the Chopin or Metallica though. Might shift the vibe a bit too much."
Obligingly, Jason tugs at the black, faux-leather box until it comes open with a muffled thunk. Inside is a stack of CDs, spanning everything from Katy Perry to Vivaldi to Iron Maiden to Monsta X.
"Your cousin's got quite the music taste," he tosses out, rifling through the stack while giving periodic glances out the window to make sure they're not, like, five seconds away from a crash or something.
If there was anything Beryl Grace taught her kids, it was how to be a responsible passenger.
Almost on autopilot, Jason digs the pink-purple Teenage Dream CD out of the pile and then has to hastily shove the polaroids that spill out from underneath it back between the surrounding paper disc-sleeves (Mamma Mia!, he sees, and ..Heng:garæ? Whatever that means). That can't be safe for the discs, especially in a moving card, but then again who is he to judge. He doesn't even own any CDs.
They've fully left the town behind now, sailing down the open road with nothing but trees, farms, and the occasional streetlight in sight. He leans over and pops the disc into the CD drive, wondering again for the hundredth time where Leo's taking him.
Leo rolls to a stop at a four-way and watches him skip over the first two songs. "Whadya choose?"
Jason smiles. "Is now a good time to tell you I was born in Pasadena?"
The open bars of 'California Gurls' start to play, and Leo's warm, penny-brown eyes widen before he laughs, bright and a touch wild, incredulous.
It's weird. It's so weird. Maybe this is what his father meant when he said not to get any weird ideas in his head so close to finally reaching the decade-long goal of an Ivy League school. Maybe this is what his mother meant when she'd chastised him, saying hormonal teenagers got more impulsive with puberty and he should take care to keep listening to his parents, lest he lose everything he's worked so hard for.
If anyone else had tried this, he thinks, he wouldn't have said yes. He would have stayed at home, studied ahead for bond enthalpy and subjunctive Spanish, made tomorrow's lunch and cleaned his room. Adhering to routine. Acting - being normal.
You have to be normal, Jason. That's how they love you.
I will not tolerate an abnormal son.
Oh, Jason, it's like you just don't understand. What will people say? About you? About our family?
Leo isn't normal. Or maybe he is. Normal doesn't exist, when he's with Leo. He likes that about him.
He takes a risk and rolls the window down halfway so he can lean his head out and watch the sky, crisp wind tousling his hair. Leo smirks at him and switches the wheel to his right hand so he can roll his window down to match.
"Ten minutes," he says. "Look alive, buddy."
"There must be something in the water", Katy Perry croons.
also from 'burning like a glowing star', this valgrace fic I'm writing.
more stuff: Writing Directory
#so here's the thing: Jason is an UNRELIABLE NARRATOR#welcome to my subpar writing everyone#yeah no I don't like this either#gah it's really true what they say about stagnant writing backflow isn't it#writing#my writing#valgrace fic#valgrace#burning like a glowing star#sooo for anyone ACTUALLY reading the tags#this is a senior year first-meeting fic that kinda has right-person-wrong-time vibes to it#I'm still not sure of the plotline and where it'll go so if there's smth you really want to see lmk!#heads up: there will be no jealousy arcs or unrequited love plotlines. this isn't that kind of right-person-wrong-time lol#leo's in a band and jason plays varsity soccer#....piper quits the cheer team she's been discovering herself (she's gonna join model UN and own everyone)#cut line: Not that Jason's a misogynist (comma) but he also sincerely doesn't give a shit about what girls think of him right now.#I need tp reuse that at some point so I'm leaving it there for now#oh hey this is pretty long#i got carried away#get you a ship that makes you smile while writing it#leo valdez#jason grace#pjo hoo toa#heroes of olympus fanfic
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re: the Epic of Gilgamesh: it’s absolutely worth reading! And not too dense. I would 1000% recommend finding a twenty-first century translation, though—archaeologists find new tablets and fragments every once in a while, so anything older than the 2000s won’t be complete to what we know now. Something significant was discovered in 2016 iirc, so, if you can find a version that takes that into account, I think that would be ideal. I read Maureen Kovacs’s translation from the 1980s which was definitely composed for an academic audience rather than a popular one, which I did like but also I know it’s out of date and I’m also looking for a more modern translation… I hear good things about Stephen Mitchell’s 2004 translation, tho it takes liberties. Benjamin Foster’s (2019) and Sophus Helle (2022) both sound promising.
Oooh, thank you! Good to know that i should look for something recent. In looking up the ones you mentioned I found an interview with Benjamin Foster where he says his intended audience is a college literature class and he prioritized an engaging reading experience over including a lot of academic detail, so that sounds like a pretty good fit for my level of knowledge & what I'm looking for (I am no Assyriologist lol, just interested in the story and wanting to experience a relatively-close-to-original version of it). Sophus Helle's also looks interesting, I'd be curious to read the essays that are included in it. Alas, it looks like my library has neither, so I'll have to look farther afield. Thanks for the recs!
#stars answers#book recs#tbr#gilgamesh#the Overly Sarcastic Productions telling of the epic of gilgamesh piqued my curiosity#and i've just seen enough quotes from translations of it around tumblr at this point#that i'm interested in reading it myself#i haven't read many texts like this outside of required reading for classes but it's a cool feeling to feel genuinely motivated to do so!#and the odyssey and beowulf were pretty fun when i read them in my senior humanities class#also i did not know Assyriologist was a word/academic discipline before i read that interview but now i do! fun
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Still don't have a computer, but I do have a basic cartoon Lydia cosplay like in my teen years <3
#my face#lydia deetz#I remember when I was a little girl (13/14) I used to try and study how to do movie Lydia's hair all the time#but I couldn't figure it out and I don't recall finding anyone on YouTube to teach it#so I shorthanded her cartoon look even though I'm a poser who watched maybe 2 episodes of it top#my sister watched it a lot more cause she was little when it was on tv#lydia and beetlejuice dated in it in a way which I liked when I was 14 and now I'm like.... okay......#odd choice#odd choice...#but I still love her look#I should watch the whole thing...#also SPOILERS but she should have married him in the 2nd movie cause like she had a good run right he's gonna keep haunting her#I mean damn might as well just get it over with#anyway#one time I went with this hair and a velvet dress to school cause it was a free day and I fell in this outfit in front of everyone#especially seniors damn they were assholes but I slayed#I also famously wanted to look like Jennifer Tilly in Bride of Chucky at this time#so original style icons were Lydia Deetz and Tiffany Valentine Ray#anyway 2#wmp.txt
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This was an OC doodle page but someone in a discord server requested for me to draw Roxas from KH <333 (Trance is the green guy... his name isn't Chyo...)
#I fucking love Kingdom Hearts#I didn't go all out because this was a doodle page qWp#But still... Roxas my beloved <333#Also yeah Trance looks naked I'M SORYRRYYRYR#I DON'T HAVE A DESIGN FOR HIM YET SO HE'S GONNA LOOK NAKEY FOR A WHILE :(((#I'm calling it now#Sometimes in the future BIG IF!!!#If BT ever has a fanbase this naked Trance sketch is going to cause some sort of wave of..... *stares*#iykyk#But yeah I'm hoping I find a design for him soooon#And also get this project thing for Government done with on Tuesday#Also can't wait for my senior year to end lmfao#And the.... off to art college (ANGUISH)#I wish I didn't have to go to an art college to become an art teacher but SIIIIGH#Backyard Thursday#BT#Kingdom Hearts#KH#Roxas#Trance#Ajax#Ajax Eggburnt#oc#oc art#Doodles#Dana#Dana Najaat#Jack#Jack Wayfinder#fanart
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I HAVE OFFICIALLY drawn full body references for all 136 (pollux and caster share a slot) OCs!!! What now
#I'll probably get back to that abandoned oc blog now that i pretty much have all the pics for it#i also might do some more silly stuff w them on the side too i wanna draw them in other stuff more hehe#and also eventually i wanna do new refe for my anthea ocs. probably just class 1 and aster and a couple others we'll see#i can update their designs slightly#tho i did full bodies of the main four in senior year a while ago!#anyway I'm going to make food and eat and then make posts for the last 2
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Me, fondly remembering my playthroughs of FFVII, VIII, IX, X, X-2, and XII: I don't need more blogs I don't need more blogs I don't need more blogs I do --
Though if I did RP as anyone, it'd hands-down be Beatrix from IX.
#Out of the Flames#I loved those games so much... including X-2#don't look at my poster of Shuyin and Lenne on my wall#or my collection of X-2 wallscrolls from anime cons when I was younger#or my statue of X-2 Yuna#RANDOM VONNY FACTS: I WAS PLANNING TO COSPLAY AS LULU AND BEATRIX AT ONE POINT#AND I ALSO WANTED TO COSPLAY AS SORCERESS EDEA#AND MY PROM DRESS WAS CUSTOM MADE AND BASED ON GARNET'S CORONATION GOWN#AND I SANG 1000 WORDS FOR THE ANNUAL TALENT SHOW DURING MY JUNIOR YEAR OF HIGH SCHOOL#AND DURING MY FRESHMAN YEAR I SANG FOR THE FIRST TIME ON STAGE EVER AND IT WAS EYES ON ME FROM VIII#which is a weird contrast because Senior year I sang Think Of Me from Phantom of the Opera because go out with a bang BUT ANYWAY#VIII WAS THE FIRST FF GAME I OFFICIALLY PLAYED BUT MY SISTER AND MOM KNEW HOW MUCH I WANTED TO PLAY VII#SO FOR CHRISTMAS THEY GOT ME A PS2 AND THE FIRST KINGDOM HEARTS GAME AND A COPY OF VII#AND I WAS SO EXCITED AND EVEN MORE TOUCHED BECAUSE THEY HAD TO RUN OUT AND GET A PS1 MEMORY CARD FOR VII#AND THEY DID IT FOR ME... AND I WAS SO EXCITED#OH MY GOD I'M AKLSDGL AAAAAAAAAAAAA I COLLECTED STRATEGY GUIDES FOR ALL OF THE GAMES BECAUSE#I DIDN'T WANT TO MISS ANYTHING IN THE GAMES AND ALSO MORE IMPORTANTLY SO THAT I COULD READ THEM LIKE BOOKS AND#USE THE CHARACTER DESIGN SECTIONS AND THE SCREENSHOTS AND ALL OF THE ART WITHIN THEM TO PRACTICE ART#AND AKSLDJGLKFDGLKJDLGF OKAY I'LL STOP RAMBLING NOW BECAUSE HOLY SHIT SO MANY TAGS LOL
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men make me so uncomfortable what the ffffff 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
#good lord this boy#okay i knew him when i was a senior and he was a freshman#well since i'm coming back to stage manage he just texted me and was like “hey i remember u saying u wanted me to run lights#“but i'm also fine with sound. i just wanted to ask my stage manager what she wants :)”#DO NOT REFER TO ME LIKE THAT#I AM GOING TO PUKE 🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢#THIS IS WEIRD RIGHT#THIS BOY IS WEIRD KILL ME NOW I CAN'T DO THIS#also the end of last school year he sent me this recap he made and he had this CLIP of zooming in on my YEARBOOK PICTURE#MANN GET OUT GET OUT#STAY AWAY FROM ME#silly hours#BUT IT'S NOT SILLY I'M SO UNCOMFORTABLE
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Song of the Day: March 27
"Long Time Gone" by The Chicks
#song of the day#I'm still thinking about the Country Songs About Country Songs#this is actually a cover too though I never hear the original around anywhere#(it's by Darrell Scott who is also the originator for 'You'll Never Leave Harlan Alive'#turns out he's got a bunch of songs that got picked up and made somewhat more popular in the hands of other folks. an interesting legacy)#the best lines of this song to sing are also the bits About Country Music--well the whole song's about chasing the love of it#but this bit is bemoaning the kids these days you know. country music isn't what it used to be. why back in my day etc etc#it's so so so much fun to sing too because you get to exaggerate your 'I think's until they rhyme with 'Hank'. excellent work#'we listen to the radio to hear what's cookin / but the music ain't got no soul#now they sound tired but they don't sound Haggard / they got money but they don't have Cash#they got Junior but they don't have Hank / I think I think I think / the rest is a long time gone'#it's fascinating to me to think about these songs in (saying 'historical' here is giving me psychic damage but) historical context#because the Darrell Scott original for Long Time Gone came out in 2000 and The Chicks released their version in 2002#so they were talking about the trend towards American jingoism in country music of the time#versus like Waylon Jennings in 1975 'Are You Sure Hank Done It This Way'#(I typed that and /then/ went back and looked up the release date and I'm so proud I got it right)#already bemoaning the state of country music in the 70s versus good old classic country like Hank Williams Senior sang#(Hank Jr covered Waylon's song in 1981. like yes it's a tribute to his father but also Hank Jr was a big push towards outlaw country#and has a few pretty famous songs himself about not singing like his daddy did. it just seems a strange choice to me)#and then Eric Church put out 'Lotta Boot Left to Fill' in 2009 calling out the shallowness of the country music scene of the time#(talking some only-thinly-veiled shit about a few of his peers in the process)#and then he released 'Stick That In Your Country Song' in 2021 and that /definitely/ put some backs up#that one's a less directed but more direct call-out if that makes any sense#no lines that are direct references to other artists' songs but stronger sentiments overall#not just general 'y'all are getting shallow prioritizing good times and high sales over genuine heart and integrity of craft'#but some straight up 'you have forgotten the face of your father' shit towards country artists and fans alike. the whole industry#a very good righteous-anger song
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Disappointed but not surprised with this whole Luktarn ''twist''.
Did I expect her to have a villain arc? Yes. Did I want it to be this bad? No. ._.
#love senior#love senior the series#thai gl#it's just lazy writing to create conflict without making the leads seem morally grey....#i wonder if they now give her a redemption in the last ep somehow#my wildest theory is luktarn is actually innocent and belle is lying and the secret evil mastermind#but no way that's gonna happen and it'd be even more of an asspull#never touch my faves is what i'm saying#well atom's still really pretty and doing a great job excited to see her in future series#maybe they'll pair her up with anda someday i think they genuinely have good chemistry#also yes i disappeared for a good while xD
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I'm going to be bitching about Star for a while now. I'll tag them all with #asc spoilers, but really what the fuck was this book?
#morningtalks#asc spoilers#The biggest flop I've ever seen in the history of everything#How could you even fail this so badly? Where did you think these were good ideas?#The Icestar thing I'm personally miffed about because I genuinely wanted Froststar. Not for her happiness but because she's the only cat#Who felt like she had a bit of a REASON to be leader#Look for the less obvious choices. Makes a senior warrior they ALREADY CONSIDERED leader#While she was off on a whole other adventure in Another Book You Gotta Buy Now To Know What Icewing Was Up To#While the Real Plot Was Happening#Splashtail is dead already when she arrives#Do these fucking morons really just sit on their asses AGAIN up until Icewing arrives/Frostpaw wakes up?#Timeskips of hell. I hate it here#Berryheart's death is also one I am FURIOUS about#Woman Died For Her Daughter So Now She's Good and All Her Family Mourns Her#They really had to go Redemption Death for the most radioactive piece of garbage in existence#She spent THE ENTIRE ARC being an absolute shithead berating her son/trying to KILL her own daughter-in-law#Manipulating (or at least trying to) Sunbeam. Plotting against Tigerstar within and outside of ShadowClan#Was fully into the plan to trap Tiger and co ''because then she could fix ShadowClan herself and get River out''#This fucking book I swear I hate it so deeply#How do you fail such an arc?#How idiotic do you have to be to not let Sunbeam (and Spireclaw) deal with their rancid mother once and for all?#Why does Sunbeam still Love Her So Much after everything?#(okay I know Trauma and Parents and growing up within odd situations and how you still kinda love them)#But Berryheart was a Problem the entire arc#Why?#It is really just because Berryheart is Mom and this Has The Mom Instinct still?#You let some rando horrendous man kill his own daughter in SkyClan's destiny by accident. Why can't Sun and Berry fight?#I wanted some horrific death for Berry. One that would haunt Sunbeam for a long time and maybe if needed cement her choice#To not return to ShadowClan because it hurts#Yes I wanted SUNBEAM to kill Berryheart (or at the very least Spireclaw)
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you know the stress and anxiety is stress and anxiety-ing when, in a desperate effort to make you feel at least somewhat in control of your life, you wind up making a google calendar for next week that literally has zero free time in between because the only way you can calm down is if you have literally barely any time to tie your shoelaces
#caroline talks#anyways. did i really just snap and go 'STRUCTURE. I NEED STRUCTURE. I NEED TO CONTROL SOMETHING.'#and then block out my entire calendar for next week that's just 'YOU WILL STUDY X DURING THESE HOURS AND Y DURING THESE HOURS.'#yes. i did.#for better or for worse i've decided to channel somewhat insane high school caroline. and also somewhat insane freshman/senior year college#caroline. which is to say. very insane.#tired of joking 'haha. 18-22 year old caroline would probably beat my ass in two seconds.'#going to make it a reality. summoning the old gods again or whatever#(the old god being a very angry very determined very insane young woman who studied like her life depended on it)#(and maybe that is the case right now. IT'S FINE. I'M FINE--)
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the urge to present as i want to vs the necessity to be safe and go unnoticed in society
#and also not struggle with family issues or fall out that could occur#crazy how i was braver when i was a senior in hs and just starting college#now i've put myself in this terrible place where i'm making myself more feminine and now questioning myself bc of it
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