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horansqueen · 4 years ago

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You & Me : chapter 24

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4.3k - 4.5k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- notes: idk what to say tbh, not even sure ppl read these notes lol. well, i hope it was an okay chapter?

if you want to be on the list of blogs i notify when this is updated, just message me :)

requests! : one but i sort of changed it a bit!

Chapter 24 : Her chapter

OLIVIA

We fell asleep together in his bed but I woke up in the middle of the night and stared at him for god knows how long. I didn't want to tell him what I did for many reasons, but mostly because I didn't want him to feel guilty. It was not his fault, he had every right to break up with me if he was not feeling the relationship anymore, and i'm the one who had swallowed those pills. Niall was not to blame and I knew it, but I was scared he'd feel bad if he found out. To imagine being weak like that in front of him was also not something I wanted. I was not really ready to let anyone see me that weak, but I was glad Louis had found me on that night. I was glad I was still there, because it made me realize I had a problem and I was lucky enough to have someone to help me with it.

I brought my hand to Niall's cheek and ran my fingertips on it gently, making him groan low. God I loved him. Just looking at him made me want to throw everything away and give myself to him, but I knew it was a pattern I couldn't fall back into and I had to be careful. Of course I had changed, and I had matured, and learned to love myself the way I was. I had worked on myself to trust me, and trust that I was worthy of love, even Niall's, and that my body didn't define me... but all of this didn't mean that I didn't question myself sometimes. It didn't mean that I couldn't doubt myself, or that it was easy to resist throwing myself into Niall's arms. I loved him like I have never loved anyone in my life. Did I ever love anyone else in my life?

It took me a while to fall back asleep but when I finally woke up for the second time, I kept my eyes closed and whimpered, reaching out to touch him until I realized he was not in bed with my anymore. I grimaced, my eyes still closed, and forced myself to sit up. It smelled like coffee and I smiled, stretching and opening my eyes before putting sweatpants and his t-shirt on, going to the bathroom and then walking to the kitchen. Niall was there, facing the counter as he was pouring coffee in two mugs and he glanced at me, sending me a smile.

"'Morning, how did you sleep?"

The sound of his voice made my lips curl and I walked up to him, wrapping my arms around his waist from behind and leaning my cheek on his back.

"You weren't there when I woke up." I replied with a pout that he couldn't see.

He laughed. "I'm right here!"

I hugged him tighter and when I loosened my embrace, he pushed the air out of his lungs and laughed again, turning to me and leaning his ass against the counter. My hands reached for the front of his shirt and I got on my tiptoe to reach for his lips. He tasted like coffee and I smiled against his mouth.

"You're on your second cup?" I asked, making him smile more.

"Yea you slept a lot." he pointed out before pressing his lips against mine again. "You seemed tired, I didn't want to wake you up."

I looked into his eyes and a fond smile appeared on my lips. I couldn't tell him I was tired because I spent over an hour staring at him in the middle of the night, could I?

"About last night, I want to thank you for sharing that with me." he said, glancing down before looking right in my eyes. "Thank you for trusting me. I'm so sorry I made you feel like that. I'm so sorry. I knew I had hurt you, but I never thought you were so... sad after I left. I never thought me dating someone else would hurt you that much."

"It wasn't you fault." I replied after breathing it. "It was me. It was my pain, my insecurities. It was my problem and my decision to do that. A bad and wrong one, a decision I'll never make again, but it was no one's fault but mine. You could date whoever you wanted, Niall. You didn't owe me anything."

"I'm still sorry. I'll always take part of the blame for that. But you promised you would never do that anymore, remember?" he added, raising his eyebrows. I just nodded with a soft smile and he smiled back. "Good, just a reminder."

We just looked at each other with loving smiles for a while and I felt something in my stomach. I was not sure if it was love, lust or affection... or maybe all of those feelings at the same time. All I knew was that they were all directed at him.

I felt the fingers of one of his hands run in my hair and smiled more, letting my hands run down his chest as I kept staring in his eyes. I always felt the need to be close to him and touch him and when one of my hands reached his dick, he groaned low and the grip in my hair tightened.

"Don't be a tease, petal." he whispered, making me bite my bottom lip hard.

"I'm always too horny to be a tease, you're the tease."

He chuckled and he pulled gently on his hand, making my head tilt back a bit more as my hand kept stroking his cock slowly over his sweatpants.

"I just think it's been way too long since I put your cock in my mouth, what do you think?" I whispered, sending him an amused smile. "Let me get on my knees for you."

His smile faltered and his eyes roamed on my face for a few seconds before he let go of my hair, his arm falling on his side. Quickly, I took my shirt off and his eyes fell on my breasts, making me hold my breath. It was not my best feature but the way he stared at them avidly made my heart jump in my chest. I let my shirt fall on the floor and got down on it, trying to save the pain on my knees that the cold hard floor could give me. I kept my gaze locked with his again for a few seconds and then looked away, trying to focus on his cock. I pulled his pants and boxers down, feeling my pussy throb at the sight of how hard he was but something else caught my attention. Something was not like it used to be and it had nothing to do with his dick. I frowned but my lips parted and I had to blink a few times to understand what exactly was written.

"Oh my god." I whispered, bringing a finger to it and brushing the tip of it on his skin. "Did you get a fucking tattoo?"

I glanced up and he was looking down at me with a frown. I opened my eyes wide and he grimaced, letting out a low groan.

"Darling, please, can't you see how fucking hard I am?" he pointed out. "You were about to do something?"

"I'm sorry but I can't do anything before I get an explanation.." I admitted with a nervous chuckle. "That's literally my name there?"

"I was drunk, found an old letter you wrote me, decided to get your name tattooed just like you tattooed mine." he explained quickly with a shrug. "Now your mouth? Please?"

My smile grew and I licked my lips. "Why this spot?"

"It was the only spot I could think of that wouldn't be visible for anyone, or almost."

"You... you hate tattoos." I just replied, shaking my head.

"I do not hate tattoos, I just never wanted to get one. I didn't see the appeal. And I still don't." he admitted, staring down at me. "But it's your name, and it's you, and I love you. I don't regret it, and I think it's just.. fair."

I pressed my lips together and swallowed hard, tilting my head. "What a guy wouldn't say to get his cock sucked."

"I mean it, Olivia."

I felt my heart jump in my chest and my gaze moved back to the tattoo on his skin. It was not even swollen anymore but even if it was small, I couldn't pretend it didn't make me feel special.

"Seriously, Nee, I can't see my name written near your cock every single time I give you a blowjob!" I chuckled, half-joking.

"Well, get used to it!"

I laughed a bit louder before realizing he was still just as hard despite the whole discussion we just had and quickly, I brought my mouth closer, running my tongue on his length gently and reaching the base before moving it down to his balls. I heard him groan as I sucked on one and when I moved back to the tip of his cock, I looked up only to see his head had fallen back slightly. He was holding himself with both hands on the counter and I just wrapped my lips on his tip to suck on it. His fingers gripped the counter harder and I grabbed his dick in my hand, pushing his skin and running my tongue between it and his tip. One of his legs tensed and he let out a few curse words in a whisper.

"Don't stop petal." he murmured as I kept doing that for a minute or two before taking him completely in my mouth. "Fuck, I want to cum in your mouth so bad."

He pushed his hips in motion with my head movements and just hearing him groan was making me horny. I kept thinking about the last time we fucked in his kitchen and it made me moan low as I was still sucking him hard. I finally moved away to bring my lips back around one of his balls as I kept stroking his cock harder and when he whispered 'I'm gonna cum', I moved back and stuck my tongue out. He looked down at me and I stared back, making sure the tip of his cock was brushing on my tongue as I jerked him off. It only took a few seconds and when a grunt escaped his lips, my heart jumped in my chest. He came on my tongue and lips, some of his cum also ending on one of my cheeks, and it made me realize how much I had missed pleasuring him.

"Jesus Christ." he whispered, his eyes shut tight. I took him in my mouth again, sucking him gently and slowly as I saw his grip loosen on the counter and his eyes open again. His lips curled into a smirk and he licked his lips. "Oh you look so good like that."

He bent down slightly and gathered the cum on my cheek before bringing it to my lips. I sucked on his finger as he stared at me and when he moved his upper body up again, I got closer and my eyes fell on his tattoo again. Slowly, I brushed my thumb on it and without thinking, I pressed my lips on his skin before getting up. He sent me a fond smile and chuckled as he moved his pants up.

"Did you just kiss my tattoo?"

"I did." I whispered, pressing my lips together.

He bent down and kissed me gently, cupping my face and slipping his tongue in my mouth. It always made me smile how he didn't care that I had his cum in my mouth just a few seconds before, and that he would kiss me anyway without even a second of hesitation.

"I haven't had a blowjob like that in..." he stopped himself and raised his eyebrows before chuckling low. "In over a year."

"Was it worth the wait?" I asked with an amused smile as he grimaced.

"Yes, but please don't make me wait an other year for the next one, okay?"

I laughed and shook my head as he moved his hands around my waist.

"You can always ask." I pointed out with a shrug. "Or, you can grab me by the hair and force me down on your cock."

The way he looked at me with lust made my heart skip a beat and he turned us around so I was leaned against the counter. He didn't say anything, he just slipped his hand in my pants and reached between my legs. He took one and held it up on his hip as I felt his fingers slip inside me.

"That made you so wet, fuck i love that." he admitted low, making my eyes flutter. "I love how much it turns you on to please me."

He started finger fucking me quickly, curling his fingers inside me and I used all my strength to keep my eyes open We looked at each other as he rubbed two of his fingertips on my clit and I held my breath as my lips parted.

"You're gonna cum, yea? I can hear how wet you are." he whispered, bringing his lips closer and brushing them against mine. "Cum darling, cum for me."

I felt an orgasm reach me and my whole body tensed as he moved closer to me, pressing his body on mine, one of his hands still holding my leg and the fingers of the other rubbing my clit as I shook against him. He moved his face in my neck and dug his teeth in my skin, making me quiver even more against him. He kept flicking his fingers on my clit slowly and gently as I came down from my high and brought his lips on mine to kiss me again.

"Next time I'm gonna spend an hour between your legs." he whispered. "I promise."

I smiled and tilted my chin. "You better."

We kept hugging and kissing for a while and I thought about the two mugs waiting for us on the counter before groaning. He moved away and frowned as I raised my nose.

"Now coffee's cold and I have bad news for you."

He frowned too and I bent down to grab my shirt and put it back on. I turned to the coffee pot and decided make fresh coffee before emptying our mugs in the sink. When I turned around, Niall was leaning against the counter, his arms crossed over his chest and staring at me.

"I have to go back home and pack." I started, making his lips part. "I have a flight for Italy tonight and nothing's ready. I'll be gone for a few days."

"Italy?"

"Yea we're supposed to cast an Italian girl for season 3 and they asked me to go. We have an interview there too and... well, I'm also going to see Dylan."

His face changed and I held my breath, feeling my heart beating hard against my rib cage as I waited for him to say something, anything, that would tell me how he felt. I could read in his face that he was not pleased but I didn't know if it was anger and pain.

"You know what I realized when Heidi sent me that picture of you in a wedding dress?" he asked, making me frown. "I mean, not at first, I was too shocked by how stunning you looked but after an hour or so, it really hit me. It's not you? The big dress, the flowers, the music and thousands of guests with a big wedding cake and your vows in front of everyone?" he paused as I stared at him. "What happened to eloping to Vegas and getting married by Elvis?"

I licked my lips and sighed, tilting my head on the side.

"It was important for Dylan, to do the big thing in front of both our families, and I wanted to make him happy." I explained with a shrug. "I still don't like big weddings."

"So you're going to spend a few days with him?" he just asked after a while.

I didn't want to tell Niall that I was going there mostly to break up with him because I didn't want him to think I did it for him, and I didn't want him to expect anything after that. I was not ready to be with someone else, not even Niall, but it was something I needed to do. I was doing that for me, because I didn't feel ready, because it was not what I wanted anymore. Of course, Niall was part of the equation, but it made me realize that I was not only scared to jump that step, but also that I didn't want to. I loved Dylan, I really did, but things were different, and I was different too. I was a different person than the one I was when I started dating him. I was even a different person than the one I was when he asked me to marry him. I was not even sure why he even wanted to marry me anyway.

"Probably, but I'll mostly be busy with auditions, and he'll be busy with filming his new movie."

I wanted to add a 'don't worry' but I didn't dare. Niall took a few steps to move closer to me and I moved my chin up to hold his gaze.

"We'll text and call each other while I'll be gone?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

"I'd love to." he confessed, bending down to kiss my lips. "I'm gonna miss you."

---

The flight was horrible and it was probably the worst 13 hours I had to go through in a long time. I grabbed my luggage after waiting for way too long and just as I was about to leave, I got a notification. I almost decided to ignore it but I stopped near a wall, dropping my bags and checking my phone. I smiled when I saw Niall had sent me a video and when I saw him sitting behind his piano, my heart melted. I hit 'play' and bit my bottom lip, leaning against the wall as I turned the volume up.

"Liv, I know you've only been gone for a few hours but I already miss you. So I thought I'd send you this. I hope you remember."

I heard the first few piano notes and I knew what it was. My lips parted and I knew I was going to cry.

“Looking back through changes Where we started from Don’t know about you but I knew it wasn’t wrong You know I kept a place For you in my mind And I know you did the same 'Cause you’re just that kind.

So if we knew all along Why did it take so long? We’ve known since we were young So why did it take so long? You know you make me feel loved Make me feel like I’m home So if we knew all along Why did it take so long?”

I felt tears run down my cheeks as his voice and the melody brought me back to a bar over 2 years ago, when Niall had told me he loved me through this song. I brought my hand to my mouth and remained motionless as I listened to it.

“Moving on You and I started looking back Now we’ve got to make up For all the wasted time You know I’d never let you just walk on by From the day that I met you I knew you’d be mine, yeah.

So if we knew all along Why did it take so long? We’ve known since we were young Why did it take so long? You know you make me feel loved Make me feel like I’m home So if we knew all along Why did it take so long?”

When the bridge started, I let out a short sob but quickly bit my bottom lip. I couldn't start crying here, in public, right? I couldn't just break into tears here because of one song.

“Just started, it’s just started I’m having trouble believing it’s true Just started, just started Now we got nothing to prove."

The chorus played again but it's only when he stopped and turned to the camera on his phone again that my heart completely melted. I let myself slide on the wall until my butt hit the floor.

"I really just wanted you to remember that. To remember that this is the first song I wrote about how much I love you, but it's not the only one, and I won't ever stop writing songs about my love for you."

He paused and looked down before looking up again.

"I love you. Come back to me."

He moved closer to his phone to stop recording but I just stayed there, looking at the static thumbnail of his video, my vision blurry and my heart swollen. I loved him so much I just wanted to turn around and take an other plane to him.

"Are you okay?"

Quickly, I looked up at the voice and blinked a few times only to nod at the security guard that was frowning at me. I must have looked totally desperate because I was pretty sure it was not the first time he saw someone cry at the airport.

"Do you need me to call you a cab or something?"

I sniffed and wiped my tears before quickly getting up. I knew I looked like a mess. That reflected very well how I felt.

"Uhm, no, thank you. There's supposed to be a car waiting for me."

It took me half an hour to reach my hotel and I unpacked a few things. I had brought the stupid pink bear Niall had won for me and put it on the large bed along with one of my pillows before taking my phone to text Dylan. I could feel my heart thump so hard in my chest I felt like I was about to have a heart attack.

"I'm here, we really need to talk."

---

"You can't be serious."

I blinked a few times, staring at Dylan, as he reached for my hands on my lap and I let him take them and squeeze my fingers. I had decided to go see him at his apartment and I couldn't pretend the sight as I was on the road didn't shock me. The sight from his apartment was even prettier and I took a mental note to visit this country again. Perhaps, with Niall?

"I'm.. so sorry." I replied with a frown, looking down at his hands holding mine.

I suddenly felt insecure about my decision. After all, Dylan and I were happy, right? We had been happy since day one. He was a sweetheart, a gentleman and he was funny, and sensitive. He was laid-back, soft, and he was always there for me. He was the first and only person to break my walls after Niall broke my heart and also, and I hated to say it, he has been extremely important in my therapy process. How could I leave someone who literally put me back together and be in love with someone who completely tore me apart?

"Okay, you don't want to get married anymore, I understand." he pointed out, shaking his head slightly. "It was too soon, maybe, I get it. But we don't have to break up.."

I pressed my lips together and looked up at him, trying not to cry.

"We do, we have to." I let out low so my voice wouldn't break. "I'm not into this fully anymore and I don't think you are either."

"I'm just... busy here. I promise I love you just as much as I did, even more. And I miss you all the time, Olivia." he added, moving closer as I finally let tears fall on my cheeks. "Please don't cry babylove."

I closed my eyes at the nickname he always gave me and swallowed to keep the sobs in without much success. I never thought it would be so tough to actually break-up with him but it was. We had history together, and this relationship with him had been more important than any romantic relationship I ever had before, except the one with Niall's.

"I'm gonna ask for a few days off." he continued. "We can spend time here together and just... love each other again. I'm gonna do anything I can to remind you how happy we are together, I swear."

I looked up in his eyes and took my hands to bring them to his face. I shook my head and breathed in before licking my lips.

"You deserve so much better, Dyl." I admitted low even if saying those words hurt like hell. "You deserve so much better than a girl who can't be 100% with you."

His eyes roamed quickly on me and I saw him tear up.

"It's because of him, isn’t it? You're breaking up with me to be with Niall."

"No!" I closed my eyes, trying to keep my voice down. "That's not why I'm breaking up with you, Dylan I just... I can't do this anymore. I don't have a good reason for this. And I know that no matter what happens, I will be the bad guy in your story, and I think it's true. Maybe I'm the mistake you'll always regret, and maybe I'm the toxic girl you'll have fallen for. I'm so sorry to have that role in your life. That's not the part I expected to play, I promise."

"This is not a movie, Olivia." he let out a bit louder. "These are my feelings, they're real! This is my life, our life. Please, don't ruin this."

I felt my heart jump so high in my chest I was going to puke. Didn't I ask Niall the exact same thing when he broke up with me over a year ago? I brought my hands to wipe my own tears and sniffed before swallowing hard. I had to leave. I had to stop this torture, for both of us. I finally got up and he didn't stop me.

"I love you, you know." he just added as I was grabbing my purse. "Don't you love me anymore?"

"I do." I just said, turning to look at him. "That's not the problem, Dyl. And It's no one's fault."

I waited in front of the door and sight.

"Don't worry, I'll find the best Italian girl for the show. You concentrate on your movie, okay?"

"I don't give a fuck about this show anymore. Or that movie, for that matter."

I felt something twist in my chest and breathed in before sighing.

"Yea, me either."

#niall horan #niall horan smut #niall horan fluff #niall horan fanfic #niall horan fan fic #niall horan fanfiction #niall horan fan fiction #niall horan writing #niall horan story #my fanfics #yam #i seriously never know what to tag this #but i hope you like it

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radicalposture · 4 years ago

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Hey, so were you diagnosed with autism/adhd as an adult? If you don't mind me asking, was that difficult to achieve? I'm 25, and I've often thought I might have adhd, but I've held off on looking into it because I hear it's extremely difficult and expensive to get it tested and diagnosed as an adult.

yes I only got diagnosed last october, I was 25 then too! it was kind of a weird journey for me, all of my siblings and my dad got diagnosed with autism or adhd one after the other and I was still saying “but I can’t really be autistic/adhd” right up until I actually got diagnosed lol. but since then my whole life suddenly makes sense for the first time and I really think things are gonna be ok! this applies to autism/adhd/other neurodiverse stuff but autism and adhd is what I know, but I hope it applies broadly as well

so unfortunately yes, it can be pretty expensive to get through the whole process. depends on where you live of course, I live in Ireland so even though we do have public healthcare I would probably have been on a waiting list for upwards of two years to see a terrible psychologist who didn’t know anything about adhd/autism so I went to a private psychologist. I already knew her pretty well bc my siblings had been to her and I knew she knew what she was talking about and I felt comfortable with her. seeing her cost me around €900 which is definitely a lot, different psychologists have different rates but the price can go up depending on what tests u get done. the more tests you do the more expensive it will be as a general rule (at the same time I saw a different psychologist who had a lower flat rate so idk what the “rules” are about this tbh) I got a standard assessment as well as autism and adhd tests which is why it was so expensive. it used up pretty much all my savings lmao but after getting a diagnosis I was able to apply for disability allowance (which was a hellish process) and I got rejected and had to appeal the decision but I got it in the end, which is fortunate bc I quit my job lol.

recently I wanted to look into medication so I had to go to a psychiatrist because you can’t get a prescription for stimulant medication from a gp in most countries I think? BUT he’d only see me if I got rediagnosed by his psychologist, so that was another €300 for each of them. I did get prescribed ritalin in the end but I’ll have to get the prescription refilled a few times a year bc it’s a restricted medication, which will mean paying €100 ish for each time I do. fortunately I don’t actually have to pay for the medication itself bc I have a medical card.

so yes, it can be expensive! all told it’s cost me almost €2000 to get it all sorted and will keep costing me maybe €300 a year from now on, so it’s definitely something you have to budget for. especially depending on where you live, I imagine things are v different from country to country. also I’m very fortunate bc I still live with my family so I’m free of some financial pressure and I’d been saving for it for a while but I know how hard it is to countenance paying out that kind of money, and wondering whether it’s worth it.

as to whether it’s difficult to achieve I think you’ve got to break it down because official diagnosis is only part of it. so if you think you do have ADHD I’d look at it from a couple of different angles:

1. self acceptance/understanding is absolutely the most important thing. I know people who’ve never been to a psych who know they’re autistic/adhd and really flourish, I also know people who have official diagnoses but who won’t accept it themselves and reject help/support and they’re making things so hard for themselves. so the most important thing is to educate yourself about what adhd means and, more importantly, what it means for you. everyone’s brain is different and understanding exactly how your brain works and why you think/behave the way you do is the most important thing you can do. there are a lot of resources out there, especially online, - I’ll put a link to a google drive of books and things I have at the bottom - and it can be good to connect with others online as well. having people who Get It and can help you is really paramount, I know often our irl families/friends can sometimes let us down so sometimes the only support you can get is from following ppl on twitter or something. the adhd subreddit is weirdly helpful and supportive, it’s great to be able to throw out a question like “I think like this am I insane y/n” and have other people go “nah ur fine” it’s very validating (also validation/external perspectives is super important for adhd bc we can be extremely bad at self assessment). so yes, the most important thing is firstly to know thyself by 1) educating yourself and 2) listening/connecting with others like u.

2. is it important to have an “official” diagnosis? no and yes. obviously you don’t need a diagnosis from a doctor to know what you are, and 70% of the things needed to help you flourish are going to come from your own research and the support systems you make. and if you cant afford or access a psychologist or psychiatrist it doesn’t make it any less real or bar you from educating yourself/accessing resources etc. HOWEVER. if you can get a good diagnosis then I really would go for it, bc: 1) it opens a LOT of doors to official resources, whether that’s access to welfare, supports and accommodations at school or college, medication, etc etc. a lot of the time the supports we need are behind this diagnostic paywall, which sucks but it is what it is :/ so that’s one consideration. 2) it can be really validating and help set your mind at ease about whether you “really” have adhd or if you’re “faking”. like I said I didn’t believe that I was “allowed” to be autistic before I got diagnosed. I also didn’t consider that I might have adhd, I went in thinking I’d just get the autism diagnosis so it wasn’t something I would have found out on my own probably. so it can be good to get an outside opinion, especially as, like I said, we can be really bad at self assessment. 3) it feels good to know you have a piece of paper to throw at rude family members/teachers/doctors who don’t believe it’s real 4) if you can find a good psychiatrist/psychologist it can be such a good thing to have that support and to get genuinely good advice from a professional you trust. doesn’t always happen but if u can find one it’s a godsend

wow this got long. to summarise, if you think you have adhd or anything else I would

research and educate yourself. for adhd probably the best thing to do is read driven to distraction and delivered from distraction, written by two psychiatrists who are adhd themselves. they’re both in this google drive along with loads of other resources I’ve collected, there’s also books about autism as well. as a disclaimer not everything/everyone here has my 100% endorsement some of it is there for academic/historical interest or only parts are helpful but by and large it’s useful. also watch this video and feel Seen

look for a good psychologist/psychiatrist if you’re going for a diagnosis. see if there’s an adhd organisation in your country/area and if they can recommend anyone. a lot of the time you’re better going to a child/educational psychologist who’ll see adult clients as they tend to Get It more. do look for someone who is clear about having experience in adult adhd bc unfortunately even qualified psychologists get a LOT wrong so make sure you get someone who knows what they’re doing before you give them your money

yes it can be really expensive. but if you’re needing to access things like medication or welfare I think it’s well worth the trouble and the money. my sister got diagnosed in her second year of college and was able to save her degree bc of extensions on projects and things like that (I didn’t get diagnosed until after college and spent four years torturing myself I WISH I had known) and it can be something that’s better done sooner rather than later. So if it’s something you can do without putting yourself in financial danger I think it’s good to bite the bullet and go for it. like I used up basically all my savings BUT I now can access disability payments and medication so it was worth it for me. it’ll be different for everyone so use your judgement obviously

anyway hope this helped! let me know if you need anything else! and good luck on your journey

#brain tag

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bucksbisexual · 4 years ago

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AAAAAAAAAAAAAA OKAY LAST ONE OF MY OPINION POSTS HERE GOES EP12:

[breathes in]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

i’m so fucking happy with this ending

it’s such a good happy ending this is truly what the gays deserve i’m just happiness in physical form rn

i don’t even know where to start but i’ll try to make this as chronological as my brain allows me because my memory do be sucking

i’m gonna put a keep reading because this shit will get loooooong kjshfkf okay let’s do this

so.. we start with PETE EXPOSING NON(T)’S BRAT ASS!!!!!!!!!! FUCK YES THATS MY BABY THATS MY BOY!!!!!!!!!!

kao’s mom being a fucking badass and telling her BOSS how to do shit. i love her yall I LOVE HERRRRRRRR

also kao’s mom telling kao that she wasn’t the most amazing person ever was so cute because you can see kao’s light bulb turning on sjfkhsgsh please i love them

yes i will say i love x after every single one of these u can’t stop me

from the teaser i thought kao would dashi run run run to pete’s house but thankfully he took a taxi lmao

at least he didn’t run there because he had to run from pete’s house (or may i say, mansion) to the POOL my man is a whole athlete oh my god

KAO YELLING HE LOVES PETE!!!!!!!!!!! IN THE MIDDLE OF A CLOSED SPACE WITH PEOPLE IN IT!!!!!!!!!!!! AND HE DOESN’T GIVE A FUCK IF THEY HEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THATS CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT BABYYYYYYYY

also a beautiful parallel to the scene from ep1 (i noticed there’s a lot of parallels in this episode we stan character development and repeating things just so the viewers can see how consistent the couples are)

the kiss from that scene............... beautiful amazing gorgeous idk many words in english to describe how i felt while watching and how i feel about it

to that i think we cut to sunmork but i don’t remember what happened because of the kiss KJHFKSL SORRY

anygays i rlly like how this whole episode is sun being a clingy bih and mork gay panicking while trying to act like a confident gay when he knows that sun outconfidentgays him i love them lmao

okay after that i think it’s petekao having food with their parents all together and god i looooooove this scene

pete’s dad being the lgbt ally dad all of us lgbt fellas with homo/transphobic dads wish we had will never fail to make me soft i love that man pls be my dad too

also kao’s mom :-(( i love her she respected her son’s decision on not coming out until he was ready even though she already smelled it (reminds me of my mom lmao) and was always there for him even when kao didn’t say anything :-(((((((((((

petekao bickering will never get old i swear i love every time they do because that’s so..... men it makes their characters more real

i know there’s a lot (not that much because i admit this episode was kinda short?? idk maybe it’s just me) between that scene and this one but THE SQUAD EATING ALL TOGETHER AGAIN!!!!!!!! AND THEM TEASING PETEKAO!!!!!! PLEASE I LOVE THEM

pete literally not knowing how to stop the audio and broadcasting live TO THE WHOLE COUNTRY that time when he told kao he loved him through the teddy bear...... peak pete culture

the fact that ppl love them and they have a whole hashtag on twitter makes me soft because usually when someone is famous in bls the fans hate the other part of the couple but in this one??? oh no honey we stan petekao in this household hate is not allowed it’s actually prohibited illegal

okay let me backtrack a bit skjfhsjf

OH YES I FORGOT!!!! manow wanting to talk with mork was so weird when i saw the teaser for the episode but after seeing them talk i was like oooooh okay i understand

sun saying “what’s your girl saying to my boy” is probably one of my favourite lines of this drama KLHSJFLF

rain reading their lips fskjfjsf and when mork said “fuck you rain” HIS FACE SKJFHKSJSLFJ HE WAS SCARED SHITLESS but also the end of this scene was so cute i love these three

i just did a bit of skipping through the episode to try and actual make an order out of this mess and the petekao+parents thing comes now,,,,,, anygaYS

then it’s more teasing between sunmork blah blah

then MORK SPEAKING THE MF TRUTH!!!!!!!!!!!!! quoting the actual dialogue “it’s my choice to tell or not tell anyone. i should get to decide”

OUTING SOMEONE ISN’T COOL!!!!!!! IT’S NOT OKAY!!!!!!!!!!! NO LGBT PERSON WILL EVER WANT TO BE OUTED!!!!!!!!!!!!! DON’T DO THAT SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

rain had good intentions but it doesn’t mean that it was right of him to do so

okay this got serious,, sun going to rain’s bed with not one but Two pillows when barely two people fit in that bed.... oh to be that iconic and carelessly gay

back to petekao because we will never get enough of these two (which is why i’ll probably watch the our skyy episode tomorrow just to cry over these fools)

it’s so weird to see tay being like this after watching him being himself in other things like the live lunch and taynew meal date and other things i’ve randomly watched during this week to retain myself from finishing this series in a night ksfjhsfkshlks

also kao helping pete shave and pete being like do u like my moustache or should i shave it for u my lord SFHKFJ the domesticity and just the feeling of two idiots being in love i love them with my whole heart

kao staying at pete’s house because it’s both of their first days as interns and kao!!!!! he works for pete’s dad!!!!!!! pete’s dad accepted him into his company!!!!!! i love them

also the bickering between those three sjfkhs “hello im pete im from thailand” “that’s all you’ll say today” THAT WAS SO FUNNNY SKJFHSKFHSFJSFL

THE MESSAGE IN THE TEDDY BEAR !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KAO CALLING PETE LOVE PLEASE IM GONNA CRYYYYYYYYYYYY I LOVE THESE FOOLS

okay so the squad eating together is right after this but i already talked about it ksjfhsfh next!!

idk if it’s a big time skip or a small one but guess what!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MANOW AND RAIN ARE DATING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY STRAIGHT BABIES YES I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUU AAAAAAAAAAAAA

manow is so pretty and rain is so cute they’re both so lucky my bisexual ass is crying

pete being “angry” at kao being so handsome,,, a mood

but also.. pete being possessive was h*t

there i said it and i don’t regret it

random but i will miss kao’s annoying ass saying “about aboyz” sjfkhsfh

pete being like “i will have to give u more love bites (ffs gmmtv just say hickies we are all at an age where we know what love bites are) so no one flirts with u” and kao being like “bitch try me” sjfhksfj i’m loving bratty kao

also that scene turned into furry kao real quick KJHDKJFSHJF

okay now it’s: mork’s birthday party time!!

rain and manow arrive first and are the cutest couple around because the two main gays haven’t arrived yet (being gay AND punctual? not possible)

sun and rain fighting in the kitchen was peak siblings culture skfhksjf

mork being ready to leave his own birthday party with a stranger who also plays pokemon go just to have a battle................ dumbass bisexual energy

said stranger is eARN FROM 2GETHER!!!!!! FILM IS IN THIS TOO!!!!!!!! first the girl who plays yuri in yyy and now film who plays earn in 2gether is here too??? damn wlw keep winning (also headcanon: theyre dating/seeing each other because LESBIANS periodt)

okay petekao arrive and wont u guess whats their present for mork,,,,,, the mf TEDDY BEAR and kao rlly says that they should use it since theyre so lip sealed lmao

rain and manow literally gave mork a present not for him but for sun im- i love these two

MORK FINALLY SAID YES TO BEING BOYFRIENDS OH MY GOD DUDE U ACTUALLY HAD ME WORRIED THERE FOR A SEC

also sun being a whole koala and being a horny bitch is so funny sfhskfjskl my man has his priorities set

their last scene is so cute :-(( poor rain will have to live with this until he moves out sjfhksjf

oh boi the ending is near hhhhhhh

kao teaching his class an equation that ends up in i < 3 u is the most kao thing i’ve ever seen

also kAO IS BOOKED AND BUSY BABYYYYYYYYYY GET THOSE COINS HONEY

pete being like “u haven’t spent enough time with me lately >:-(” was cute jhkfjs my man is needy of kao and i understand that because have u seen kao? exactly

kao teasing him with not having forgotten the cup this time and pete being his possessive self was.. splendid

every reference to something that happened with non(t) hurts but also i love how they just tease each other because they know that now their relationship is stronger than it’s ever been and that nothing and no one will come between them

the scenes they show during the last last scenes :-((( BOYFIES!!!!!!

and i love how they decided to end the show with them holding hands in public

i would explain why i do but it’s 6:26 am and i’ve been writing this for at least half an hour already and my laptop is heating up a lot and im sweating because it’s hot in here so get down on the floor pipiipipipipipipi

kdjhkdfhs sorry im not sleepy this is just my brain without a filter it’s just gay shit and a big repertoire of songs

god okay that was my opinion on the last episode of dark blue kiss...........

needless to say that i will eat every bit of content related to petekao after this because writing this i already miss them and i can’t wait to watch our skyy tomorrow idk where but i will

i really really REALLY liked this drama and it’s one of the two bl dramas (not counting the untamed) i’ve given a full 10/10 rating on mdl because it’s THAT good

everything about this drama is just.. chef’s kiss i love it i will probably rewatch it when my plan to watch is empty but it’s a pretty long list so.. hopefully i’ll ignore that and just rewatch sjkfhslf

i’ll of course watch kiss and kiss me again just for the petekao, the squad and rain scrumbs because i’m sure that the petekao compilations don’t show everything

but yeah im just.. i love this show it’s been a rlly long time since i started writing this but i’m still happy because it’s so good and truly gave us a good happy ending and i swear i cannot emphasise enough how important good happy endings in lgbt media are!!!!!!!!!!

anygays im hungry and ready to submerge myself in the dbk tags, see u all tomorrow for my our skyy petekao episode version of this,,,,,

till then, stay safe ! bYE

#dark blue kiss #dbk the series #dbk #dbk reaction

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rapmillionaire · 5 years ago

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Yé or Nay

An indirect connotation to “choice”, minute 7 [https://youtu.be/USddwTvRdJc]:

youtube

I agree with what Dr. Yunus says about the pot and soil being an essential ingredient/factor in how the seed flourishes. . . I was referring less to Kanye, and more to the fact that it goes against Kanye's outspoken viewpoint of slavery having been a "choice", which I myself found to be an interesting perspective and something I find leads to an intriguing conversation at it's root. . .

What I think Kanye said was a powerful anecdote and way of reframing the conversation. . . I took what he said as to mean:

"we (blacks) shouldn't have been under such control by the construct of whites and their framework for such a long time (i.e. that sounds like a choice to me)" ..

That's a powerful and revolutionary statement to be blasted to the masses by a pop icon. But that's only if one is able to look deep enough realize how and in what way this statement serves itself as true. . . . The issue, and the big issue obviously, is Kanye said this from a framework of ignorance when referencing it to slavery being a choice. I fathom. Because he wasn't there (nor was I), nor did he know the conditions of the "soil" (bonsai metaphor) and the impossibilities of being able to "escape" / "rise up" from, nor did he know how many folks actually attempted to but failed (and in what ways they attempted, thus countering his point that they'd not been exercising such "choice" to begin with. The conclusion I found to be 'defining' by Yunus is in reference to the difficulty for that "choice" to fruition according to the "soil" ~ bonsai metaphor given by Yunus). That's the dagger to eliminate any validity toward the "choice" statement made by Kanye.

THUS, Kanye spoke ignorantly (stupidly) about the specific reference he was making. . . But his message of "choice" is a real one, and a powerful one, and one that in fact gives blacks, and Palestinians, and women rights, and all "pro" movements in general, a more electrified stance. . . How each of the bonsai soils are, at the roots of each of those movements, will determine potential outcomes (of activism and progress made), in the same way that Yunus states the outcomes leading to poverty come from the actual environment and setup (systemic malfunctions), rather than from the actual people themselves (i.e. the ppl are not lazy, nor stupid, nor useless in the way folks often describe the homeless and poor).

I feel like i might've mis-communicated that in my first blog post, thus it could've offended some folks and even been mistaken as "racist". Overall, I liked what Kanye said most b/c it's a deep and embedded truth which has found itself to be unjustified in the most practical of senses for that specific scenario. Eventually such "choice" worked it's way up to now African Americans living better lives with better opportunities than they had just even a half-century ago. Which is a testament to both America's malleability in righting it's wrongs, and the spirit of humans to band together, fight, and support one another who are unalike, toward respect, dignity, freedom and justice -- which is what American was founded upon -- which goes on to prove that America's founding fathers' idealism is a feat that is able and capable of being achieved (not without it's faults, of course). . .

I like kanye's criticality and reasoning and way of thinking. That's what makes kanye different (with good intent, yet not tastefully spoken always), and thus dope. He brings important points and a poignant perspective to conversations. Anyone who does that catches my ear cause I want to learn first and foremost to understand under what dynamic is what this person's saying true. That allows a more holistic outlook in the end, and provides all of the tools to really tackle issues which makes for well-fashioned dialogue whether folks end up agreeing or not. It does not minimize nor count-out variables and potentialities, which can only help move things along, so long as wisdom is able to anoint toward where goes what.

Obviously the mass mind and common public aren't able to comprehend Kanye's point of view fully. Especially not when the media takes it and runs with it in a wild and narrow-minded fashion without genuinely diving into the root perspective for how he comes to such conclusion, and where it's fault lies, and where it's truth also sits. . . Another who intrigues the conversation is Candace Owens. This mind has stated interesting points before, one of which backed by data, and which I myself have witnessed first-handedly, in unison with what Muhammad Yunus has also stated - the primary of which I'm referring to being: welfare, and how that's detrimental to folks (not those who are handicapped or suffering mental illness of course since they do need special assistance). . I work at The Haven, a day shelter for those in need. I have witnessed the system encourage folks to not make progress and to maintain their using the system as a crutch (the welfare system, specifically). On more than one occasion, I have heard "clients" speak on turning down job opportunities because their welfare check would lessen if they took the job, and they'd much rather keep the higher income and stay with things as is (i.e. not working) then get the job. Obviously there is a lack of hope in what projection and trajectory folks believe they can take, and thus then achieve (in the form of "leveling up") -- this being the system's fault, from the bonsai metaphorical viewpoint -- due to lack of opportunity and availability of resources to build upon small-step wins, such as taking a job). . . What that then does to the spirit and the habit that creates in the mind of a person, of dependency and arguably "laziness" if you want to call it that -- indeed is an issue, countering human progress, disguised as "helpfulness" by big brother / the infrastructure / the government. Thus other notions of legislation and ways of workings remain the same, as a turnstile maintains it's trajectory and speed. . . And that maintains variables and factors, thus conditions of living as well (including constructs of poverty).

I find myself being less liberal on some topics, and overall more moderate than simply "right" or "left", on the whole. The fact that this country remains divided as "left" vs "right" is an overarching and deeply embedded fault. . . Two extremes, opposing one another with friction, leads to inundated manifestations of progress and at worst cataclysm. But bridging gaps, with both sides coalescing in ways where data and facts and critical reasoning charge the way, through pilot programs proving what data represents what specific contexts, enchants equivocated prosperity. In fact, programs (universities) should work with the government, serving as testing grounds for what answers and issues the government fails to fully comprehend, thereby achieving proof of facts and truths toward public policy and socio-economic stability among all classes. Social business is a way to achieve such means, if the government is unwilling to bridge such (gaps). An idea I have attempted to put forth is Resolving Poverty: a for-purpose figment that funds housing-first programs (housing for those who are homeless). This method of housing has been proven to be most effective and efficient in getting folks off the streets and as contributing members of society. When one purchases a piece, 90% of profit revenue is channeled to a housing first fund (of an organization rated well by CharityNavigator). Whence the consumer then wears the apparel, viewers will read and note the logo and the website attached, encouraging the interested to visit and learn more, and to support in more than one way (politically (search database), or economically(as a customer), or socially (sharing the word).

All of this calls for a transformation and transcendence of self. To think, dream, and evolve. That is what African Americans have done. That is what the Palestinians will need to do if they're ever to earn autonomy. And such intentions ("choice") for them to transcend is up to them. Nobody will do it for the other if the other is first and foremost unable to attract such assistance vehemently unto themselves. . . . Human nature in general is made to fight and rise above. Where the lack of such occurs may be attributed to the genius of opposition in subduing such nature from fruiting to combustion; castration if you will, whether through ignorance, or nullification in the most tangible of terms.

What Kanye said, I believe, reignites a numbness in a most critical and empowering notion of facets, maintaining guilt upon wrong-doers, whilst identifying an inner need to ignite and encompass position and movement. . . furthermore. . . Vehicles still made available.

Written on April 8, 2020

#kanye west #muhammad yunus #slavery #choice #poverty #government

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seigyokus · 6 years ago

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10.4 - A Looming Threat

Idolish Seven - Part 3, Chapter 10.4 For more Part 3 translations, click here!

Translation below the cut!

Nanase Riku: ......All of this must be really hard on Ten-nii. He loves TRIGGER so much, and really treasures them after all. Nanase Riku: He was acting like everything was normal, but I bet it's taking a toll on him more than anyone else.... Izumi Mitsuki: Some people know what's going on. There's a couple of people commenting on how something's off about this whole ordeal online. Izumi Mitsuki: But why... Why are all these TV stations dragging TRIGGER when they're the ones who've seen them up close and in person? Rokuya Nagi: What an awful turn of events. Those who are truly interested in TRIGGER have been proactively reading up on them on their own. Rokuya Nagi: However, those who only know TRIGGER in passing will absorb whatever is given to them by the news. They'll end up with a biased understanding of TRIGGER. Izumi Iori: Companies cast for their shows based off of the public's perception of a group. Izumi Iori: At this rate, if TRIGGER's brand continues to be perceived negatively, it will also affect their state of being in this industry. Izumi Iori: Has President Yaotome taken that into consideration?

Yaotome Sousuke: ...Dammit! Every single goddamn one! They used to beg for TRIGGER to be on their shows! Yaotome Sousuke: ...Mister Shimooka's music show is right around the corner, and I know he sees TRIGGER in a positive light. If we can turn the tides with this.... Yaotome Sousuke: I'm counting on you, Gaku.... TRIGGER....

Mister Shimooka: And now for our next guest, TRIGGER! Kujou Ten: Thank you for having us. Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: We look forward to performing here today. Mister Shimooka: So, I heard you guys are unveiling your new single next week at the Tokyo International Festival of Music and Arts in Zero Arena. That's amazing! Yaotome Gaku: Thank you. A wide variety of musical genres will be presented at the festival, so we'd really like to focus our energies and get even better for this event. Mister Shimooka: What a manly answer! That's Yaotome-kun, for ya! I bet you're a real hit with the ladies. Must've gotten it from your father, huh? Yaotome Gaku: I-- ....... Nanase Riku: A nervous energy pulsed through the studio. Nanase Riku: Both Ten-nii and Tsunashi-san were frozen in place. Nanase Riku: Mister Shimooka-san had been so kind and welcoming to us all, but his insinuating words brought the scandal to the forefront. Nanase Riku: After all, Mister Shimooka-san was part of Tsukumo Productions.

Yaotome Sousuke: ....... This is outrageous.... Yaotome Sousuke: Everyone has cut Yaotome Productions and TRIGGER off, and now he has too.... Does this mean they've all sided with Tsukumo? Yaotome Sousuke: Cowards! The times have changed! Why can't they understand that!? The age of Tsukumo and Hoshikage was over long ago! Yaotome Sousuke: ....... It was supposed to be over....

Yaotome Gaku: I, uh.... Izumi Mitsuki: I dunno about Yaotome, but I take after my grandma! Izumi Mitsuki: We look so similar, that whenever I look at old photos I'm like, "Woah! That's me!" I hate to say this myself, but she was gorgeous!

Man: Damn, it was just getting good.... That dude is trying way too hard to stand out. Woman: Hmm? Man: That Izumi Mitsuki guy from IDOLiSH7 butted in right when Mister Shimooka was asking Yaotome a good question. Woman: Oh, yeah. Izumi Mitsuki just loves to talk.

TRIGGER Fan: Oh.... He deflected the question for him.... TRIGGER Fan: It's okay now, Gaku-san.... Thank you so much, Mitsuki-kun....

Mister Shimooka: ...Ahaha! Really, now! I know you're an adult, but you're so cute, Mitsuki-kun! What do ya think, Yaotome-kun? Yaotome Gaku: He's super cute. But he's kind of dad inside, y'know? Izumi Mitsuki: Hey, what do you mean by that! I've bet you've got some dad in ya too! Kujou Ten: I definitely see it. Yaotome Gaku: Haha, shut up! Mister Shimooka: Hahaha! Both of you are grown men, so I guess that's to be expected! I'm already an old man, so that explains why we get along! Nanase Riku: The atmosphere of the studio changed after Mitsuki interrupted the conversation. Nanase Riku: Mister Shimooka-san boomed with laughter, more so than usual. Perhaps in relief, perhaps in apology. Nanase Riku: The whole time, Yaotome-san's fist was clenched tightly where it rested upon his leg. Mister Shimooka: Get ready, TRIGGER! Kujou Ten: Yes, sir. Nanase Riku: Everyone's eyes followed their backs as the three of them made their way to the stage. Nanase Riku: Even under the cold gaze of the audience, Ten-nii, Yaotome-san, and Tsunashi-san turned to face them. Nanase Riku: The stage lights were so bright, I couldn't see what their expressions were. Nanase Riku: But the voices that rang through the venue belonged to TRIGGER-- as proud and powerful as we remembered. Nanase Riku: They were trying to pierce through and reach the future.

Mister Shimooka: And that was TRIGGER's "Last Dimension!" Now, up next we have.... Momo: Shimooka-chan.... Yuki: ...Shimooka-san has a family and many trainees under his care. TRIGGER understands that too.... Momo: Back when it was Yamato, they were up against Hoshikage.... That, and it was hard for anyone to bash them since they'd be going against a world-famous actor. Momo: But this time, it's Tsukumo Productions versus Yaotome Productions, which is below Tsukumo in power. Momo: On top of that, there was that whole ordeal where Yaotome Productions "stole" a famous singer from Tsukumo, despite owing a lot to them. Momo: Putting aside what's true or not, it's easy to fall victim to Ryou's psychological ploys. You can't help but think, "There's nothing else I can do." Yuki: I know there's people out there who are strongly against his ways. There has to be. Momo: They're definitely there. I'm in contact with all of them, and-- Re:vale's TV Show Producer: Great work today, guys.... Momo: Thank you! ...What's wrong? Re:vale's TV Show Producer: I might be jumping the gun a bit, but…. I just wanted to make my rounds and say goodbye to everyone. They’re transferring me to Kyushu, so I won’t be on the show's production staff anymore. Re:vale's TV Show Producer: I really loved working on this show, and I wish I could've stayed on for just a bit longer.... Once things calm down, you should call me over for baseball again sometime, Momo-chan. Momo: ....... Yuki: I'll talk to them about it. It's not right without you on the team. Re:vale's TV Show Producer: Those words are more than enough for me. Please do your best and give everyone a great time from here on out as well. Momo: Why is this happening.... I told you to trash talk me to those people, didn’t I…? Re:vale's TV Show Producer: Ahaha, there's no way I could do that. I could never talk badly about you, Momo-chan. Re:vale's TV Show Producer: TRIGGER hasn't done anything wrong either. No other talents in this industry take their jobs as seriously as those three. They passionately, earnestly, and truly love their fans and their work. Re:vale's TV Show Producer: They did their best to make things as easy as possible for the staff the one time they guested on our show. It was a really, really great episode. Remember that? Momo: ....... *sniff* .... Re:vale's TV Show Producer: I want to make good shows. And I won't lie, even if it’ll further my cause. I…. I couldn't lie. I knew what would happen, so don't cry. Momo: ...I'll bring you back to Tokyo. I swear. Until then, I'll keep on standing here-- even if I have to eat dirt. I promise.... Yuki: If you ever run into trouble, don't hesitate to reach out to us. Re:vale will always have your back. Re:vale's TV Show Producer: Yeah.... Thank you. I'm really proud I was able to work with you two, Re:vale. ...Fight on, Momo-chan, Yuki-kun. door closes Yuki: Momo.... Are you okay? Momo: Yuki.... Yuki: Yeah.... Momo: ....... I'm this close to snapping. Yuki: You took the words right out of my mouth.

Tsukumo Ryou: Soon, it shall be complete. Midou Torao: What are you talking about? Tsukumo Ryou: Oh, fear not-- I’m referring to TRIGGER, not ŹOOĻ. Tsukumo Ryou: TRIGGER pulled out of SoundShip at the last minute. The first time is fine-- unexpected circumstances happen all the time. However, once happens a second time, they'll be seen as incompetent and impertinent. Tsukumo Ryou: There’s a shining chance for TRIGGER to repair their image-- neither Re:vale nor IDOLiSH7 will be appearing at the Tokyo International Festival of Music and Arts, a high-brow and formal affair. (1) Tsukumo Ryou: TRIGGER lose their place at that event-- I’ll make sure of it. Natsume Minami: And how will you accomplish this? I'm certain they are also aware that this is a chance for them to recover from their current predicament. Tsukumo Ryou: You see, before I became the president of an entertainment agency, I used to dabble in trading alongside some rather dangerous fellows. I can use those connections.... Tsukumo Ryou: ...To abduct TRIGGER. Inumaru Touma: ...Hey. I ain't getting involved in anything criminal. Tsukumo Ryou: Ahaha! Oh, we won't be involved at all. TRIGGER are very famous stars-- it'll be the work of a couple stalkers, so to speak. Isumi Haruka: Hmph. Isumi Haruka: ...I don't care. If that's what it'll take to see that brat and his father in tears, then go ahead. Isumi Haruka: I want him to reject everything he's ever worked for and despair.

To be continued....

TL notes/comments:

Thank you @kuriiii and Bicky (@denego_ on twitter) for betaing!!!!! There’s a lot you don’t catch even after 2-5 rereads, some of which u do muttering under ur breath at 1AM so honestly bless their souls!!!

(1) Ryou uses 硬派 to describe the tokyo m&a festival; I've mostly seen this word used in terms of like political parties, where you have hard-liners (frm the definition of the word), or very ppl very staunch in their belief of ___. In terms of music shows, I'd extrapolate this to mean an event that's very formal and rooted in tradition/rules, which would be kind of like the Grammy's wrt an american equivalent, since awards aren't thrown around willy nilly and it's a Big Deal to get invited there, etcetc. Like there's a whole formal process involved. That kind of 'hardcore'!

IT’S GOOD TO BE BACK!! Thank you again for all of your patience and putting up with months of radio silence on my end. I put up a poll on twitter, and the plan is to prioritize Part 4, but crank out as much of Part 3 in the downtime between parts! WISH ME LUCK FJSJDF

As usual, if you see any mistakes/mistranslations/etc, please message me!

Thank you for reading!!

#idolish7 #アイドリッシュセブン #story3:text #story3:tl #translation

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riviae · 6 years ago

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just venting abt my own indecisiveness lmao:

i’m so stressed rt now :/

i’m graduating which is great, but i honestly don’t know what to do next. i’ve got a few viable options but i’m frozen at the crossroads of my education out of sheer indecisiveness. what’s the right choice?? is there such a thing as a ‘right’ choice?? should i fight for the hardest path or should i take the easier path, the one with the least remaining schooling? if i make a standard cost-benefit analysis then of course the easiest option is the best--but it feels like i’m giving up on my original dream.

option 1: med school. that’s what all this work’s been abt--there needs to be doctors that are knowledgeable & supportive of lgbt+, neurodivergent, and disabled ppl as well as poc & understand how these identities intersect/overlap. the state of biomedical ethics is absolutely awful right now--it’s not a required course/topic in the majority of medical schools & so doctors are never really challenged to think past their inherent biases or how they should treat their patients or how knowing a patient’s background can aid in the patient-doctor relationship. patients aren’t a commodity, yet i can count on 1 hand the amt of doctors who know the 4 established virtues of medical ethics or can even explain them: beneficence (you must do what is best/good for the patient), maleficence (”do no harm”), justice (i.e., appropriate rationing of health care, services, supplies, & actively keeping historically-targeted groups of medical malpractice from harm), & autonomy (arguably the most important imo--the patient has their own autonomy & a doctor can /never/ take that away/do things against the patient’s will, which, by definition, makes mental health institutions unethical but i digress).

rt now i’m interested in working as either a neurologist, psychiatrist, pathologist, or specializing specifically in rural medicine (i.e., underserved populations/small towns), but can i really devote the next 8 yrs of my life to an occupation wrought w/ sky-high suicide rates, 36 hr shifts, & all the emotional trauma that comes w/ a field so intertwined w/ death?? idk if i’m strong enough for the demands. i don’t have any interest in money or prestige (i’d prefer to have no attention at all honestly), but i just wanna use my love of science to do some good, no matter how small.

option 2: PhD in neuro. makes logical sense since i’m getting my MSc in a month & also neuro is my fave science of any subfield. i could do a lot of good w/ my research interests (that being of neurodivergent populations--seeing as i have adhd myself). understanding the neurological mechanism(s) behind neurodevelopmental disorders, for instance, can help in reducing harmful symptoms of certain disorders ((note: i do not mean wanting to ‘cure’ autism or anything that obtuse. more like providing pharmacological or genetic-based approaches to therapies. so for instance, i’m a big supporter of the cortical excitability hypothesis of autism which basically states that difficulties in sensory processing, insofar as being especially attentive to stimuli i.e., hypersensitivity/hyposensitivity is concerned, is due to the cortex’s inability to mitigate excitatory signals. so an ASD individual will experience sound or touch/texture aversion bc their brains are truly experiencing the sensory inputs at an incredibly high or low signal, as if their brain is a radio stuck continuously at a volume of either 100 or zero. it’s also why ASD & epilepsy are so often found to be comorbid--hypersensitivity to stimuli is more common & cortical excitability/excess firing of neurons outside of phase synchrony can explain the mechanics behind epilepsy too. oh, & this could also explain adhd symptoms since adhd and autism have considerable overlap both in symptoms as well as brain structure pathology). long story short, academia is great for me bc i love teaching, learning, and putting my brain to use (studying other brains). it’s a good fit & i’d be happy......... but i still have my own hesitations bc academia, esp science, is historically a field wrought w/ misogyny, racism, classism, u name it. it’s a mess™

option 3: pathologists’ assistant. the easy road. i could matriculate in jan (assuming i’d be accepted) & complete the degree in 2 yrs. i’d be able to teach, do clinical stuff (tissue sample analysis, post mortem autopsies, etc.), all w/o having to do all the paperwork, patient-juggling, & long hours that doctors do. i could specialize in pediatric pathology (by applying for a job at a children’s hospital) and really feel like i’m doing good work, helping to make accurate diagnoses of samples & leave it to the docs to tailor their treatment to my diagnosis. i love puzzles/solving things. this would give me a lot to do & it’d be good, honest work. it’d be behind-the-scenes so i wouldn’t need to overextend my naturally shy personality too much either. & the starting salaries are a real nice bonus (insofar as paying off my current student loans are concerned). but idk if i’m as passionate abt tissue sampling as i am abt the brain. i don’t wanna settle for a job simply bc it’s arguably easier than my other academic pursuits and makes good money or is ‘safe.’ ughhh can someone make the decision for me lol?

& all this doesn’t even touch upon my own inferiority complex/inability to recognize my achievements as actual achievements. like sometimes i wonder if i’m even smart or capable of reaching any of my academic goals :/ as they say, u are always gonna be ur biggest critic. 2019 was supposed to be the yr i learned to love myself (or at least my brain), but i fell off at some point & i’m struggling to see my self worth as more than what i ascribe by default to myself & others (since all humans have intrinsic value no matter what imo).

#hannah rambles into the void #// don't rb pls #just a casual thursday night vent post explaining my current job-based woes #these are the thoughts that i struggle w/ on an everyday basis ://///#will likely delete later bc this is just an emotion-fueled post abt nothing #full of sound and fury signifying nothing <-- me & my bs #congrats to anyone who manages to read thru all that & doesn't get a headache cause that's where i am rt now #not tw3

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badweatherbiologist · 6 years ago

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big ass trigger warning: i dissociate half way through this text, it’s about sociopaths and manipulation

i don’t even know how i got to this point. i was just thinking of how much i hated sociopaths - yes, it’s that time of the year, it’s almost november and I stumbled upon an aspd forum.

I haven’t been this tilted in forever, then it got me thinking, you know.

the traits I've observed in sociopaths are:

antisocial and lacking empathy

conniving, manipulative, deceitful, and dishonest

control freaks

charming and smooth and use those social skills to get their way.

rule-breakers and risk-takers and commonly have repeated clashes with the law and thus a criminal record

will copy behavior of neurotypical/empathic people to not seem bad

and like, the more i think of it, the more i realise i’m partially like this too. i want to be in control of things. i am dishonest and manipulative for my own good, telling lies so that i can get myself out of situations i dislike. I've been told i’m very kind and funny to new people, but i wonder how far it really goes.

like till what point do i stay me

because i am capable of empathy, sure, i am capable to care for people’s feelings and care for their needs

but what if i like

taught myself all of that?

i know my grandmother managed

what if i’m doing the same thing?

they say ppl with aspd are incapable of love

and some days i wonder if i am too, because like

what does love feel like? i know that i want good things to happen to people in my family and my friends, and that i’d be upset if they didn’t, but what does love really feel like? because at this rate i just

like idk

what if all this time of me hating sociopaths

it’s that i hate them because i see myself in them? it’s that i hate them for being able to not give a fuck about someone’s emotions, whilst i want to do that, on particularly bad days like today.

like i have always tried to help people, but most of the time it was for my own benefit, and i always hated people who would use others as stones to step on to get to a goal, simply because i don’t understand it. but what if this whole time I've been like that, too? just teaching myself not to do it because society thinks it’s bad?

a friend and i had a convo like this. about how we’d actually, genuinely be able to kill someone if we just “flipped the switch”. it’s a phenomenon i can’t really explain, but i think the talking about sociopaths triggered this dissociation right now. because i know that right now i feel cold, i feel empty, like a black pit inside, and i know that’s how sociopaths feel. and i know too, that if someone were to ask me something rn, I've learned to deal with these sort of things, so i could lie to them and they would never know.

but if i were to look in the mirror right now, i know that i’d have those huge pupils again, the demon stare like i call it.

i don’t know, you know.

like i went onto that forum, and now i keep thinking of all the times i’m faking being nice

all the times people ask me for things and i deep down don’t give a fuck, but do it because i know it’ll make me feel better about myself, not even because they’ll feel better, but because i will. most of the time, it’s because i just want people to shut the fuck up for a moment.

i don’t know. it’s like going onto that forum about sociopaths just triggers that mirror in me, that mirror’s everyone’s emotions and such. but if you mirror nothing, you get a void.

like i don’t know. i feel like i’m both sleepy and very awake at the same time, and my head is hurting a little. it might just be another episode.

it’s just like. i always thought of myself as a nice person, partially because i make myself do things for others because it’ll help them and i’ll feel good about myself, but what if being nice is something you don’t learn, but you just feel? just like love is something you just feel?

like, i don’t feel anything

not love

nothing atm

and i think i prefered myself last year

when i felt everything at once and it all went to shit

because this void is making me feel even more like

an alien

an outsider

than any fucking forum can

just

idk

like idk

i’m just thinking how i’m annoyed at these people, these sociopaths for existing

i know that’s radical

but they fucking hurt people like me so much, they hurt my feelings and they threaten me and anger me just by existing

and the thought i just had, that i could even be something similar to that? that made me dissociate so hard. because now that i write about what i feel, like the keys beneath my fingers, the floor beneath my feet, the texture of my pants and such, i feel “warmer”, less of a pit. like a fire started burning again, and all of a sudden i’m okay.

and now i get it, mo. now i get why you didn’t want me to talk about this that one time. i get it, because i’m the same. the more i get in contact with these morally inept, toxic people, the more i feel myself turn into one, just to cope.

and maybe that’s what happened all these years. maybe this is just a fall-back to a way of coping and facing the world. maybe my way of protecting myself is also retreating, especially when things trigger me.

i don’t know. like i really don’t.

like i just keep thinking, what if all the people i hated for being arrogant, for not caring about other people’s feelings, for not considering me and what i needed weren’t actually bad people, but were just normal kids, and what if instead of them being the narcissists, i am?

would that even be possible?

wouldn’t i be fooling everyone? my two best friends, the two most emotional and empathic people i know, wouldn’t i be hurting them? my family, my old friends, everyone I've ever talked to

what if it wasn’t them

what if it wasn’t

and what if it’s me

i know i shouldn’t be thinking this

or even considering it as it’s really bad for my mental health and such

but in the words of my ex-best friend, maybe instead of blaming me, you should start and look at yourself, first.

(which was weird, considering i had literally just told her i thought i was the person at fault all the time, but ok, you can’t heal stupid)

anyway, i’m going to app my aunt about this. the more i think about it, the further away from myself i get.

thankfully for me, though, ever since last year, i have regained feeling in my fingers. which is nice. took me a while. aunt had told me that would probably be a cause of like my meds and also just the sensory overload in my head.

but okay, a deep breath, and then i put an end to this text, because these disgusting emotionless words creep into my heart like they were branded on it, and i hate it.

clarification: i hate sociopaths, and everything they’ve done and do. and i get that it stems from trauma sometimes, and for those i would make an exception, if they weren’t just as bad as all the others. and if you’re a sociopath, don’t interact with me, i’ll block you right away and you can go feed off someone else’s misery

#i don't even fucking know #that's it #sociopaths #get the fuck away from me #i swear to god

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dancedance-resolution · 3 years ago

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please do not reblog, this is just a personal little note

i’m really happy with how therapy went today

it was my fourth session with my new therapist. i think i like her a lot.

conversations with my new therapist feel a lot more natural than with the old one.

with her, i don’t feel the same sort of pressure that i did with my last therapist. my last therapist gave me extremely rigidly professional vibes. and this new therapist is still appropriately professional of course, but she’s also more casual. she always opens every session with a funny anecdote about her kids, and then sort of uses that as a segue to get me to share something similar, and then based on what i share, she asks a lot of questions that lead us to dive deeper.

conversely, my old therapist always followed a strict script. she first asked me to rate my mood on a scale of 1 to 10 (which i hated doing, because i never knew what my mood actually was other than “vaguely in the middle i suspect question mark”) (thank you alexythemia, lol). then she always asked “is there anything you want to talk about today.” and i would always shake my head no, because the question is too broad to know how to respond. and that’s something my mom and i actually worked on together - starting around age 17, before each session, we’d written down stuff i should mention. but i was rarely able to say the stuff i had prepared, because i couldn’t get myself to say the words (autism symptom maybe? idk). it’s a lot easier for me to talk when i have a narrow, specific question to answer, and if the other person has been talking for a bit before they expect me to talk. and my new therapist does both of these things

and i like that this new therapist is a bit similar to me. she’s fat. she doesn’t wear make up. she was raised catholic. oh, and she has visible tattoos - which i don’t have, but my point here is that she’s not the stereotypical picture of Health Professional. and she knows a lot more about adhd than my old therapist did, and she knows slightly more about autism than my old therapist did (which was Absolutely Nothing, lol).

also, i think that this change in therapists was necessary. i was with my old therapist for 5 years. i started seeing her when i was 14. she had a very specific perception of me based on how i was when she first met me at 14 - a perception which tainted the way she responded to my current problems. and that wasn’t a good thing for me, because my outlook on life and self-understanding have changed a lot since i was 14, in ways that i never was able to articulate to her properly. plus, i was always anxious to reveal anything new to her. like i was afraid she’d get upset if one day i was like, “hey bestie, i know i’ve been seeing you for 5 years already, but i’m just now going to bring up the fact that i’ve had issues with compulsively lying to my father since age 7 uwu.” (i know it’s irrational to fear “failing therapy”, but also, it’s not as irrational as it sounds. because when i was 18, my mom revealed to the therapist that i’ve always been the type of person to cry at the tip of a hat, and my therapist seemed kind of taken aback and frustrated that i never told that to her. and yeah, it is understandable that that would frustrate her, but it unintentionally made me feel really guilty and bad.)

also, this therapist definitely treats me like an adult more than the other one did. i think maybe my old therapist was still stuck on seeing me as that initial terrified 14-year-old. whereas this therapist gives me a lot more agency and has more trust in me to know myself and my needs. our sessions do follow somewhat of a routine, but it’s a routine we worked out together over the course of the first 3 sessions when she was trying to figure out how to make things comfortable for me. (example - at the first session, she asked me what i want out of therapy, and i said, “i don’t know.” she took me at my word, and she didn’t shame me for it. and i think that that experience sorta taught her that she needs to be more specific when asking me questions.)

i also like she’s very open with me about her perception of me. like, today, i told her about how i started crying when a staff member from my community college called me to confirm that i’d cancelled my classes for this summer semester. and my therapist expressed some surprise that i cried because [paraphrasing] “you always seem very put together and articulate during our sessions. sometimes i’m able to hear anxiety in your tone of voice about certain topics, but for the most part, you always seem very emotionally grounded during our sessions.” and her honesty gave us an opportunity to talk about masking. (also, i appreciate knowing that she can hear anxiety in my voice, because i had no idea that was a thing?? like i know you can hear when someone’s voice gets high-pitched and breaks like they’re gonna cry, but i‘ve never done that during one of our sessions? lol, so i guess this is a little fun fact i’ve learned about neurotypicals, that they can detect anxiety in ppl’s voices even if they’re not obviously on the brink of tears lol.)

a few specific things that happened at today’s session that were good:

when i talked about my sleep issues, she actually brought the conversation in a direction i hadn’t expected - she started asking if i’m putting too much pressure on myself regarding productivity. my initial answer was no - i unenrolled from my summer classes. i don’t have a part time job. i don’t have any traditional responsibilities. but upon discussing it, we kinda figured out that i am putting a lot of pressure on myself to enjoy the summer, because i have this sort of doomsday mindset of This Is My Last Summer Break Before I Have To Work Full-Time So I Must Take Advantage Of Every Moment To Enjoy Myself. and that’s unreasonable - it’s a pandemic, i’m recovering from bad burn out, and i’m trying to adjust to new meds. she actually said a lot of things about bodily consent and stuff that i’d already read in the book laziness does not exist, so it was sort of like affirmation and emphasis that those concepts are good, valid, and applicable to me.

she gave me some reassurance regarding my summer schedule. my alarm goes off at 6:20 every weekday morning so i can attend mass. (i’m an atheist, but the structure is very good for me.) but i’ve had some concerns that maybe waking up so early is unhealthy and also contributing to my sleep issues (i unintentionally wake up around 4 almost every morning, and i started to wonder if maybe that’s because my internal clock is anticipating waking up at 6:20). we discussed the pros and cons of waking up for mass in the morning, and she gave me her opinion that this schedule is probably good for me (she agreed with my pro/con assessment). and she also pointed out that i woke up at 6 every morning throughout high school without as much sleep issues, so it’s more likely that the sleep issues are from anxiety. (and i’m going on anxiety meds starting in early july, so we’re hopeful that that will help that a bit.) so yeah, i feel better about my mass schedule, and i feel reassurance that this is a reasonable and good plan. she also said that she was very proud that i had not only the idea to use morning mass as a source of structure but also the discipline to go every morning despite the early hour and despite the fact that i have no external force forcing me to go 🥺 which was nice to hear, because over years of having undiagnosed adhd, i received a lot of messaging that i lack self-discipline, so i was glad to hear the validation that she thinks i’m a disciplined person (at least regarding mass, lol)

we talked about my summer goals, and we talked about possible sources of non-stressful accountability. the current flexible plan is that i’ll keep track of everything i accomplish from that goal list and then share it with her at the end of each session so we can workshop what went well, why it went well, what i’m struggling with, and how i could maybe work through those things better.

i still feel very anxious about this whole therapy thing (i’m still very scared that i’m doing it wrong and not saying the right things), but i felt especially good after today’s session. like, i’ve been in therapy for 5 years. i felt like i plateaued in progress a while ago, so i’m really happy that i managed to get something out of today’s session!!!!! that hasn’t happened in so so long (low key if ever…..).

also. IM PROUD OF MYSELF for sharing stuff with her, correcting her when she misinterpreted one thing i said, and having a positive attitude about how today went 😎. and i’m proud of myself for fending off feelings of guilt that i spent so long typing this out (it’s not wasted time, because it’s helping me process what happened today), and i’m proud that i’m in a place where i’m open to going on anxiety meds.

my life is still a mess. i had a fun little breakdown not even an hour before the therapy session, in fact! but i’ve made some significant progress over these few months - i started meds, i switched therapists, and i started (and am sticking to) a new daily routine. and i had the courage to prioritize my health and cancel my summer semester classes, which was a really hard decision for me! oh, and i also finally published that smutty crucible fic that’s been in my wip folder for over a year!

my mental health is still extremely poor, lol. in fact, one could argue that i’ve regressed in many ways. but guess what bitch!! i don’t have skooter ankle ideation, and also, generally? IM MAKING PROGRESS. that’s what counts. i’m very happy about that, and i’m very proud of myself for that.

#personal #long post #very long post

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ssnoot · 7 years ago

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Someone tagged me in a “get to know me” tag thingy, and it’s long af but I’m gonna do it so now you’re all gonna know like 100 things you didn’t think you needed to know about me

What is your full name? Darian Storm Rehder

Are you named after anyone? Not that I know of

What does your name mean? I think it means queenly or wealthy or something and god I wish that were true about my life

Where are you from? I consider myself from Wellington, New Zealand or Missoula, Montana

Where do you live? Missoula

Where were you born? Missoula

Which of your parents are you closest to? I was closest with my dad

Which of your parents are you more like? I am more like my dad

What is your favorite drink? Vodka if we’re talking alcohol, if not, then milk or sprite

What is your favorite food? Steak or fries or salad

What is your favorite holiday destination? The ocean

What is your favorite childhood memory? I don’t honestly know, I barely remember my childhood. Probably just living in NZ

What is your favorite way to pass time? Listen to music or sing

What is your favorite snack? Chips or veggies or fruit

What is your favorite sport? Ice skating? Is that a sport?

What is your biggest regret? Letting myself be with people who continuously destroyed me

Are you a fan of any sports team? Nope

Are you a dog person or cat person? A both person

Are you scared of heights? Yes very scared of them. One time I went on a bridge high up over a canyon thingy and I couldn’t move so I just laid down in a ball in the middle of it until someone dragged me back to solid ground

At what age did you go on your first date? I think my first real date was when I was 15

What is an ideal first date for you? It was weird as fuck okay, I’ve talked about it a lot on here. There’s just a lot to say. Like how at one point I started crying into my steak during it

What is at the top of your bucket list? Uhhhhhhhh loving myself

What is something you are gifted at? Creative stuff, mostly writing

What is something you look for in a partner? Someone who is patient, understanding, and obsessed with me (not in like a weird way but enough in that I’m not the only person caring all the time)

What is something you wish you were gifted at doing? I wish I was better at singing, because I love it.

What is the one item you can’t leave home without? My butt (if I’m being serious though, probably my phone or my keys)

What is the best compliment you have ever received? I don’t honestly know. Like there’s been a lot of good ones, but I’m shit at remembering things.

What is the first book you remember reading? Warriors series!

What is the first movie you remember seeing? The first movie I saw in theaters was Nemo!

What is the last book you read? I’m reading a book rn that my girlfriend lent to me.

Do you like pets? I love pets

Do you have any pets? Ye I have a dog named Ayla

What is the name of your first pet? Buddy the cat (His full name was Sebastian)

What is your best physical feature? I’m not sure, a lot of ppl say I have a nice figure, like nice hips and a nice butt and stuff

What is your biggest accomplishment? Graduating high school and getting myself into college while simultaneously being homeless and losing all my friends

What is your eye color? Luxurious dirt

What is your favorite color? I like green, pink, and cosmic latte

What is your favorite fairytale? Idfk I wish there was a gay one

What is your favorite ice-cream flavor? Vanilla

What is your favorite music genre? Pop punk or alternative stuff

What is your favorite nickname? Megan calls me cow poo and I like it cuz there’s an inside joke behind it

What is your favorite quote? I can’t remember enough words to have one

What is your favorite type of clothing? I like stylish stuff, flowery printed stuff, and black clothes

What is your most commonly used swear word? Probably fuck

What is your star sign? Scorpio sun, libra rising, sagittarius moon

Do you have a best friend, if so, then who? Yeah her name is Harmony and she’s the besssttt

Do you have a tattoo? I have 3!!!

Do you have any allergies? Yeah I’m allergic to grass, nature, flowers, pollen, cotton, bees, cats, some soaps, and sometimes bright light makes me sneeze?/

Do you have any birthmarks? If so, where? I used to have one on my tum but I don’t think it’s there now. I also used to have one on my back but idk if that’s there still

Do you hold any convictions that you would be willing to die for? I don’t know. I think I’d die more for others than myself

Do you prefer kissing or cuddling? Tbh both are great, but I prefer making out bc I LOOOOOOVE how soft kissing is and like how you kinda just forget everything for a moment and it’s just you and another person

What piece of technology can you not live without? My phone

What was the first concert you ever attended? The Fray lmao

What was your favorite subject in High School? Writing

What was your first job? I was a courtesy clerk at a grocery store

What was your least favorite subject in High School? Math

What is the furthest you’ve ever been from home? I don’t know, like I visited America while I was in NZ and that was pretty fa r

What is your biggest fear? Loss. I have PTSD surrounding losing people so I have a very big fear of any kind of loss and sometimes convince myself that people I love are going to die.

When did you suffer your first heartbreak? I was like 14 and my girlfriend of 3 days said she didn’t love me lmao

When was the first time you were on a plane? When I was 2

When was the last time you cried? I cried tonight bc I was stressed about being an adult

When was the last time you got in a fist fight? I have never and I never will unless this one bitch I hate says something to me that’s mean in person

Who has left the most impact on your life? Myself

Who is the best teacher you ever had? I don’t know how to answer that, probably my 5th grade teacher cuz she really helped me improve in my writing

Who is the first person you call when something exciting happens? My best friend

Who is the first person you call when something horrible happens? My best friend

Who is your favorite musician? Rn I’m really diggin Janelle Monae but my favorite band of all time is Neck Deep

Who is your role model? I don’t think I have one tbh

Who was your first Boyfriend/Girlfriend? Her name was Bonnie

Who was your first Celebrity crush? Marina Diamandis

Who is your favorite actor? Idk names

Who is your favorite actress? Idk

Describe yourself in a single sentence? A bitch who has no clue what the fuck she is doing ever

Have you ever dated two people at the same time? Yes, but it was a poly relationship

Have you ever suffered a fracture? Ya I broke my elbow once

Have you ever visited a country outside your continent? Yes

How many Boyfriends/Girlfriends have you had? Like 20 I ain’t gonna count bc I did a while ago and I think it was around 20, if I was counting my current gf

How many relationships have you been in? Literally the above thing

If you could give your younger self any advice what would it be? Work on loving yourself sooner love

Last time you swam in a pool? Idk in the summer probably

What is your most embarrassing moment? Probably yesterday, idk my whole life is embarrassing and I don’t ever want to be looked at ever

On a scale of 1-10, with 10 being the highest and 1 being the lowest, rate your fashion sense? 10 af

On a scale of 1-10, with 10 being the highest and 1 being the lowest, rate your driving skills? hahah ask anyone who is not me and they’d probably be like 4 or 5 but I think it’s like a 8

On a scale of 1-10, with 10 being the highest and 1 being the lowest, rate your cooking skills? 8

On a scale of 1-10, with 10 being the highest and 1 being the lowest, how good a kisser are you? I haven’t kissed myself lmao, but most pppl I’ve kissed said I’m really good at it so 10?

One thing you know now that you wish you had known as a kid? People die and people change and people go away

The first app you check when you wake up in the morning? Messenger

What app do you use most? Messenger

What are some of your bad habits? Overthinking, not eating, not sleeping, and biting my nails

What are your favorite things about yourself? I’m creative, I’m thoughtful, I care about people a lot, and I have a big heart

What are your hobbies? Singing, playing piano, writing music, writing poetry, writing fiction, spending time w/ ppl I like, annnnnnd sleeping

What countries have you visited? US, New Zealand, Australia, Fiji

What countries would you like to visit? Any tbh

What do you consider unforgivable? Umm depends on my relationship with the person, but in like a romantic relationship I think that having an affair is mostly unforgivable and like obvious things like if they were a murderer or if they tried to ruin my life or something

What do you do for a living? Cry

#darian speaks #about me #long post

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briteboy · 7 years ago

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WHO is Santi and WHERE is his face?

i am LIVING for your warm & colorful posts right now!! your editing is so amazing and it brightens my day everytime i see a new post of yours *.*

THANK YOU!!!! <3 i am so happy/relieved to be using warm colors once more, i feel like myself again. don’t get me wrong, i do like evoking different moods, but sometimes (a lot of the time, especially with santi) too much is too much. today’s posts were HOPEfully my last emo edits..............for now

LOL I actually made a comment about Fiona naming a cat/dog (once Pets comes out) Rodrigo. I'll go back underground now haha (still a great story, cant wait to read more) -Runaway NONY

OH I DIDN’T EVEN SEE THAT wtf. either tumblr ate it or i accidentally scrolled past it i’m sorry. i always enjoy seeing messages from anons who return to my inbox! but lmAO that’s a good idea. i actually met the most perfect dog today and now i know the breed and name of dog santi needs immediately

Hii! If you dont mind me askin, how do you edit your darker screenshots? I always end up making them too light or too dark to see a thing :( Thank you!

hmmm idk what to tell you about making them too light or too dark, because that’s a very specific thing that really depends on the picture. BUT i know that the dodge tool is my bff for brightening up dark pictures while still retaining some of the darker elements you want in them (aversely, the burn tool will help darken parts), messing with the exposure can also really help, coloring can also help too, selective color is my bff especially with blue shadows and orangey skin...this is kind of a broad answer, i’m sorry, but if you needed help with something specific, let me know!

I remember you answered an ask and said you drew tears when you edit right? Is there a reason you don't use CC tears?

i answered this like two weeks ago but i can’t find it so whateveR i’ve used cc tears a few times but there’s only like three of those in existence and my characters have cried a LOT. i feel like it would be kinda weird if they had the same tears every time. also there are just some variations that i like to customize myself by drawing, like sometimes they’ll be full on sobbing, sometimes just one single tear...it just depends on the situation, that’s why i draw ‘em.

Santi is my favorite Harvest Moon character.

idk shit about harvest moon so idk how to respond to this :[ here’s a small picture of michael cera with a cactus

Would you recommend buying a macbook for playing sims?

if a macbook is what you already have, then yeah, i’d say it suffices without many problems. if you’re specifically going out and buying a computer with the knowledge that you’ll be playing sims on it, then mmmmmm i’d probably say no...but it also depends on if you’re like gonna get REALLY into storytelling and cc n shit or if it’s just casual gameplay with a mods folder that’s like 5 gb or less...if it’s the latter i think it should also be fine. but yeah it just depends on what kind of gaming you’re planning on doing.

How can I read your story from the beginning? Is there a link or something? I keep seeing it on my feet and it looks so great!

thank you! there’s a button at the top of my page that says “story directory” but if you’re on mobile you can just go here or copy this link: http://femmesim.tumblr.com/tagged/story/chrono

I've talked to u like once before and I'm to shy to talk to u again... Why am I like fish?

This**

we are all like fish if you really think about it lmao but really just reach out my dude! if we talked once then y’know you already broke the ice so just go for it!! i am here and ready to talk about all the things under the sun

Do you use Topaz Clean?

yep

hi hello so maybe I am just a blind bean but may I ask how in god's name do you get your images to be so crisp? I have everything set up, but it seems as if when I do my thing in Photoshop, everything turns out lookin like a blobfish. I'm not sure if you use another person's topaz settings or if you have your own. Thank you so much if you do respond bc I was too much of a wuss to message you *cries in Spanish*

OMG well it’s mostly just resizing, smart sharpening, and most importantly topaz clean (see above) that makes them so crisp. i also use the sharpen tool on sims’ faces, and the smudge tool when something is particularly pixelated or whatever. everything i do is listed in here! UR NOT A WUSS *hugs you in spanish*

youre my inspiration to be a better writer. I know i'm good and giving characters depth and backgrounds and coming up with a rough story idea. but i rush things and i'm not great at putting it into a good story so ya. My story on simblr started out as casual gameplay but i wanted it to be more and i'm trying to get better @ everything

OMG ;_________; it sounds like you are a good writer already, and it’s awesome that you recognize your strengths while also acknowledging that you need to work on some things as well. i try to do the same and i think that’s what keeps me level headed. it sounds like you just need to dedicate some time to planning, that way you start to realize all the nuances of your story that come together to flesh out that initial rough idea. you seem to have a positive attitude, so that’s great!! you’re already getting better and better, i know it <3

now Santi's song is Post Malone - Congratulations

OMF LMAO u sent this when santi finally got to mexico and it’s fitting

sos i was listening to the song fight song by rachel platten when i saw the photoset of santi making it to mexico and now i can't stop ugly crying please make it stop

omG i see it TAKE BACK UR LIFE SANTI U GOT THIS

This is so random but like, can I just say that you're so amazing like?? Why?? You're so sweet and funny and I love you very much ok

AKJSKJDFKJS THANK YOU THIS IS SO NICEEEE ;-; i try but a lot of the time i feel like a sarcastic asshole lmao thank u for thinking otherwise <3

Am I the only one who's like... really mad about pets being NPCs? I just feel like being able to control them was the best part. I don't really feel like the EP is worth it without them. Like, don't get me wrong, I understand that the team worked really hard on it, but I feel like they didn't do it as well as they could have.

hmm i’m kind of meh on that front because like on one hand i did like controlling pets and the novelty of the fact that you could just see their different interactions firsthand, but ultimately i think i’m okay with not controlling them because it makes it more realistic for me and honestly they’re probably more likely to take care of themselves a little bit more if they’re automated, because i’m just thinking about ts3 pets and how i literally had to make them go pee outside otherwise they’d pee in the house...even if they were well trained and stuff lmao. plus there might be a cheat or mod that lets you control them, like there was in ts2? so don’t lose hope yet.

hey your blog is AWESOME, i read through your stories in a day and am obsessed (kind of in love with gianni) ❤ what are some of your favorite ts4 blogs? i'm trying to find more awesome blogs to read through during my miserable journey of trying to get the game to work on my computer lol

heyo here’s some! thank you btw, and i hope your miserable journey ends soon :{

(I really need to get this off my chest) ok so my aunt is currently in a critical condition after having a kidney failure and she's in desperate need for a new one and I'm the only one in my family that's a match (so far) but I'm not allowed to donate bc I myself have severe health issues affecting my day to day life that would make it extremely dangerous for me to remove a kidney. I'm so fucking frustrated you don't understand like I just want to cry most of the time

first off i’m so sorry that this is even happening to you ;__; and you’re an amazing person for being willing to help out your aunt like that, so just know it isn’t your fault that you’re unable to. don’t guilt yourself for it okay? is there any other possible donor at all? i wanna know how this situation ends up. i really hope your aunt will be okay. just stay close to your family for support and don’t blame yourself.

how did you get photoshop for free? I'm trying to find a link that won't give me a virus, but I had no luck yet

the pirate bay is ur friend

Ok I gotta rant. GoT does NOT deserve the hype/amazing ratings. Like, sure the cinematography is pretty great and they have ok actors but the freaking script is so mediocre I actually think I could write a better one. Me. A 16 y/o tiny child. There are so much better shows out there! Hell, even Supernatural has a better script than GoT

whenever ppl agree with me about how much GoT sucks i grow stronger and stronger even the actors are iffy at this point. watching daenerys act is painful, jon snow is wooden as hell, it’s just bad. ur 16 yr old self has more potential than these writers tbh. it’s just completely mediocre; it started out as something great because it followed the same layered storytelling pattern as the books, but it’s diverged from that completely because the writers got too caught up in the hype. and you’re right, it doesn’t deserve that hype! omfdkjsgkj i’ve never watched supernatural but i haven’t heard good things. that’s a low bar

#nonsims #saviorhide #anonymous #sunny answers

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aeide-thea · 8 years ago

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[there is probably a less wordy way to put all of this, but my brain is unfortunately a thinly-disguised cotton ball so i gss we’re gonna beat around the barn until we get where we’re going, sorry—]

the thing that maybe feels worst about the girlbox is the ways in which i derive pleasure from it? like, i helped girlfriend pack for italy last week, and i did it because i was hanging out with her at the time and that was the ~happening activity~; and because i love her, and part of what that means to me is wanting to help and take care of her; and because i like feeling effective, which accomplishing practical tasks tends to make me feel. which is all fine, as far as it goes—but what cisdude would do that for anybody? and like, sure, if one did i wouldn’t consider him emasculated, and also the problem with feminine-coded labor (as many ppl before me have observed) isn’t the thing in itself, it’s the fact that dudes don’t do it so everybody else winds up picking up the slack… but i don’t know how to get out of the box except by flinching away from it violently wherever it rears its head (an egregious mixing of metaphors for which i beg forgiveness). like, in a world where these things weren’t considered My Proper Role As A Woman Which I Obviously Am, i wouldn’t mind taking some of them on, maybe? but i also don’t know if i’d get the same gratification from them if it weren’t ingrained in me that i ought to.

i mean, the other thing you have to understand is that none of this is happening in a vacuum, this is happening under the scrutiny of girlfriend’s mother, who despite having apparently corrected herself abt my pronouns in conversation with R is also pretty clearly positioning me (as i said to el at the time) as her Practical Girl Ally against the Willful Flightiness of her Son, which is weird for a lot of reasons (gender, obviously; also lol i am nottttttt practical) but also because uh, obviously if we’re making this a business of ~sides~ i’m gonna choose R’s every time??? but ANYWAY last week she was all, ‘can you come back next week to help [girlfriend] pack for LA?! put it into your calendar! friday the 6th! how do i get hold of you!’ and like, i sort of smiled and demurred and escaped (note the girlbox training again), but like. what a posish to be put in! and like. clearly it would never have occurred to her to demand this of a cisdude beau! but, you know, she for god in him, &c. but the worst part is, i want to! because i want to see girlfriend again before she leaves for LA, and because it would make me feel needed—that unnoticed / & that necessary, which i thought i had moved on from as a model but apparently not!!

and of course i am struggling, too, with being told by my family that girlfriend must not value me, and with having very little to hold up to refute that: she doesn’t say she loves me, she doesn’t seem to arrange her life with much concern for my presence in it… and of course i can say, well, she doesn’t really do those things for anyone; and she is tender towards me, in how she talks to me and touches me; and at any rate, why am i only allowed to feel a thing and be happy in it if it’s validated by a very particular sort of reciprocity? 'you always go running when they call you,’ Baby Sister says; yes, well, have you considered that perhaps i jump at the opportunity because it means escaping an environment in which my every move is constrained, every statement criticized? and instead spending time with a person i love, who makes very explicit deliberate space for me to reject social expectations that wear on me?

but god, is reframing this relationship a sisyphean project; and god, do i wish girlfriend would give me some signs that i’m valued, that i can see and internalize. (or else, you know, tell me that i’m not—it’s the uncertainty that i mind most, the labor of having again and again to translate her behavior into a language i can read.) i wish she would take it on herself to come up with those signs, rather than leaving me to decipher my own needs and translate them for her. as it is, i feel as though we’re each our own separate, sovereign country, which is fine, good even; but then on top of that i always end up having to play a second role as interpreter. i wish we could split that labor: i wish i felt confident that she’s invested enough in the success of this thing between us for splitting that labor to be worth it to her. she talks a good game about using other people’s language with them, making an effort to enter into their understanding of the world rather than forcing them to engage on her terms; but as far as i can tell, she doesn’t use my language with me (whether that be the literal language of love-words, or the broader idea of caring for me in ways that are visible to me, not just to herself or to third parties). so, you know. *disaffected shrug emoji*

anyway i don’t think i’ve made the connections between the pieces here as clear as they were in my head, which in fairness was not precisely pellucid; but it’s stuff about roles, and labor, and value, and validation… i guess really my question is, what do you do when 'respecting yourself’ feels a lot more like 'being cruel to yourself for abstract conceptual reasons that aren’t really emotionally resonant, and are in fact mostly about trying to satisfy familial standards which you should probably have figured out long ago is a fruitless endeavor’? can i only cultivate myself in isolation, because i don’t know how to love without self-abnegation?

#FUN QUESTIONS #theory #little warped bonsai thoughts #(getting put in) the girl box #relationships #feelingsblogging #semi-relatedly the closest thing i have to a new year's resolution is something like #learn how to say no so that your yes will have meaning

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decadenttimetravelmentality-blog · 6 years ago

Text

Switch auto insurance from USAA to Nationwide?

"Switch auto insurance from USAA to Nationwide?

If the policy quoted by Nationwide was ~35% cheaper than what USAA would give, for the exact same coverage, would you switch? Why or why not?

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://financeandcreditsolutions.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr

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I've got a few hundred pounds at the moment as I will turn seventeen in two months. I really want to start driving as soon as possible, but I'm clueless to how much it was cost me a year and what are good first cheap cars.. Also if anyone knows some good cheap car sites it would help, thanks :)""

Where can i get cheap car insurance?

I keep trying to find a cheap car insurance as a new driver but the cheapest I get is bloody 3000 pounds .

How can i know how many people have health insurance coverage in my city?

(please give me a source as in to where i can find this information)

Which auto insurance is cheapest in new orleans?

Whole life insurance and medicaid eligibility?

My father in Dallas Texas has a life insurnace face value of 10,000 and cash value, about 3500. Per medicaid rule he can't have the life insurance with those cash value. He is not on medicaid yet but with his condition of alzheimer, he soon needs to apply for medicaid. Any idea what needs to be done for the life insurance?...I am not sure if he can simply cancel the insurance to meet the medicaid requirement. He has no other asset and has less than 2000 in his bank account. Of course he does not work. ( he can't with his condition and he's over 70).""

Best and cheapest car insurance?

im 39 yrs old and got a new civic hybrid 2010 and my husband car is a 2001 BmW330

Mother has Mental Illness but no Insurance?

We are at the moment living in california but my mother has mental illness when we were back in The Netherlands she was given pills to take to supress that voice in her heads making her go crazy, but now we are here and we don't have any insurance yet is it possible that she gets insurance if she supports her illness?""

My daughter was in a multi vehicle car accident and i cant seem to find an estimate for car insurance?

It was a 2001 hyundai elantra. My insurance was 9 star. My daughter just turned 21 and wasen't given permission to drive the car.

Car insurance vs the law?

If I was driving at 100 mph in my car and a police officer caught me on radar and i started to pull over and then lost control and flipped and totaled the car would my insurance still cover it? I have the fullest of full coverage also, if I was still making payments and the car got impounded would the car be repossessed FROM the cops? thanks""

Switch auto insurance from USAA to Nationwide?

If the policy quoted by Nationwide was ~35% cheaper than what USAA would give, for the exact same coverage, would you switch? Why or why not?

I want a baby but don't have insurance?

My husband and I just got a new apartment and then got married courthouse style. We have both decided that we want a baby soon but right now we don't have insurance. Is there any cheap option that would cover the entire pregnancy?

Rental car insurance?

Do I have to get rental car insurance in va from hertZ

Does car insurance really go down when you get married?

I have heard that insurance goes down once you get married. Is this true? If it is, how much? Is it significan't? Do you have to be married before you turn 25 for this to apply? I have heard so many conflicting answers. Help??..""

Cheap car/insurance for a young lad?

18 year old son has just passed his test. Looked at a Fiat siacento(I know thats wrong but you know what car I mean)1999/1100cc/65000miles/good nick/500,I thought bargain. Until I checked the insurance.... 3000!!! Before I start ranting about the cost of insuring a young lad(and the cost of my own insurance) can anyone tell me a cheap car that is also cheap to insure. Thanks.""

""I'm just wondering, is there anyone here who can't get health insurance?""

If you do have it, how do you get it? and if you don't have it, why not? Spiritually speaking, of course""

How much is car insurance for a jeep wrangler?

i am 18 and have a clean driving record

Dual Car Insurance trouble?

I had insurance through a company called Sunset Plaza Insurance, and only agreed to do a 6 month period (from 12/08 to 06/09). I moved during the time, and never received a renewal notice at my new address, even after I gave them my new address. However, I found out that for the past 6 months (06/09 - 12/09) they have been charging me for insurance. But I never signed a renewal consent or anything! I remember explicitly saying that I only wanted the insurance for a 6 month period too! What are my options? Please..any advice would help!""

Car insurance go up if not your fault?

If somebody hits you from behind, and it's completely their fault, you file claim for insurance, does the non-fault person's insurance go up?""

What type of car insurance should I get in Michigan?

I understand that Michigan is a no-fault state, and as a result everyone gets this PLPD insurance or something. I'm moving from Pennsylvania and had full coverage on my car for about $90/month. I thought PA and MI were both no-fault, but it seems different and the rates I'm being quoted for the same insurance in MI are higher. I'm so confused!! Also, right now I am on State Farm. I'm 25 but on my mom's plan, and I am getting married/changing my last name and I now live in Michigan so it is past time for me to pay for my own insurance.""

Sex change versus Car Insurance?

if man changes to a woman would this affect his/her car insurance, would his insurance be cheaper or dearer?""

Can my health insurance cover it?

My dad went to the dr for a check up and found out that he has slight high blood pressure, so he wants to buy a blood pressure machine so he can monitor it while he tries to bring it down so we have health insurance and was wondering if health insurance would pay for the machine if we bought one""

""Medi-cal, California insurance?""

I'm getting a procedure done covered by medi-cal. I'm married, unemployed, and at the time of the service i need to bring i.d. and proof of income to be eligible.. Well i would have to use my husband's proof of income, his check stub. Can i just present them the proof of income myself, even tho it's my husband's? Or does he have to be present at the time? I'm not sure, because i think he needs to work that day..""

My car under my parents insurance?

Ok i have a hypothetical question...Say if my car is in my name, and i am under my parents insurance...And i get in a major accident are they liable? Are they at more risk if i am in their name but i own the car?""

Pls help me to find a cheap insurance in CAli?

Ive a dodge stratus that i bought in a rebate the title saids SALVAGE and I would like to quote something cheap with covarage to into tijuana or ensenada!! pls HELP!

350z insurance how much would it cost?

how much would it cost in Canada Ontario the car is a 350z coupe 90k Miles 2005 my age is 18

Can anybody Reccomend a good online insurance company for a Cagiva Mito 125?

I have been looking around for a low insurance rate for my Cagiva Mito 125 Motorbike, does any Mito owners know of a good insurer for that bike and how much did you pay?""

How much would my insurance be?

i will be 17 in oct and hoping to save up for a car (corsa, punto, 206) and i was just wondering how much my insurance would be?""

What would my insurance be for a kia forte koup 2010?

i'm an 18 years old male about to 19 in a few months,i live in New york and i'm really considering this kia,but i need someone to help me out on what my insurance would cost without having to go through all these insurance quote process,thanks""

How much would insurance be on a mistibishi lancer GT on my moms insurance? (16 yrs. old)?

We are thinking about purchasing a mistibishi but we fear the insurance would skyrocket as me being a new driver. Any help?

""Boyfriend totaled my car, i have a $500 collision deductable on my insurance?""

my boyfriend totalled my 17,000 car. the car was totally paid off and i have $500 deductable for collisions on my insurance,. he has liability on his insurance. does anyone knnow what will happen from here, since he was driving i dont know for sure what insurance covers and what i will have to pay""

Speeding tickets and Insurance rates (read details)?

I received one speeding ticket back in February 2010, I took a driving class for it so I would not receive points on my license and consequently my insurance provider would not be able to raise my rate. However, I've received two speeding tickets in the past week (both only 9 miles over the speed limit) :'( which would result in 6 points on my license. I live in Florida, and I have State Farm insurance. Does anyone have any idea at all what will/could happen to my insurance? :(""

What is the average car insurance rate for a 16 year old female in Arizona with standard coverage?

what would be the approximate monthly charge?

How can I get auto insurance in my name when the car is registered in someone else's name?

My mom currently has a loan on my car in her name in California. My car is registered in California, but because my husband is active duty military, we relocated to South Carolina. Is there a way I can obtain insurance in my name without being a registered owner?""

How do you find car insurance?

Ok heres the situatuion, Am 22 I dont drive yet and i dont have a clue what car i want! Am hoping to pass my test this summer and am willing to spend roughly 750-2000 on a car but i dont want to pay anymore then 500 a year on car insurance. The most irritating thing about this thing is the fact i dont know how i can get a rough quote without having to fill out loads of details etc. Is there any easy way of finding your first car? Am losing my patience really annoyed by the whole process. HELP ME!""

When will my motorcycle insurance lower?

i live in florida im going to start riding soon probly start out on a ninja 650r but i wana move up 2 a zx14 after a while(my dream bike) but the insurance is nuts on it like 800 a month now on the 14 the 650 is like 120 with amazing insurance and 250 deductables when will my insurance drop? does it go by age or experience?

Switch auto insurance from USAA to Nationwide?

If the policy quoted by Nationwide was ~35% cheaper than what USAA would give, for the exact same coverage, would you switch? Why or why not?

What are some names of some cheap 3rd party Auto Insurance companies in Texas?

Tittle say it all, best answer 5 stars""

What is the best health insurence to meet my needs?

Im starting out on my own 21 and need health care that's going to be affordable to me but be a good coverage. I have an eye syndrome called duane syndrome and I need surgery done. But I don't have the money up front. Im a janitor and don't know wat would be the best choice for me? My company is called GCA. But I hear there coverage isn't all that good.

What car insurance should I use?

I'm 17, I live in Texas, and my mom is making me get my own car insurance. which would be the best and cheapest for me?""

First time drivers auto insurance?

Ok so I'm 17 and I'm a first time driver can you please name some of the cheapest insurance for me. The most a 100/ month thanks I live in California

Is it true that I am paying taxes to directly to Allstate Insurance now?

Sure sounds like the Chief Justice said so.

""In North Carolina, do you have to already have insurance to get your license?""

I am going to try to get my license sometime this week but im not on the insurance, yet. I was wondering if you had to already be on it, or if you could take the test and if you pass, then get on the insurance. B/c we already have the papers ready for it but... yeah?""

I would like a rough idea of how much it will cost to insure my 17 year old son to learn then drive my car?

I have a peugeot 206 1.4 2005 plate car, it is the only car we own and I would like to put my son on the insurance. He will be 17 in Jan 2011 and we need to gage how much it will cost to have him as a named driver of my car""

Car insurance question?

So my car got scratched in a parking lot and I don't know who did it. I plan on filing a claim with my insurance company to get this fixed. My deductible is $500. My question is: What safeguards do insurance companies have in place to prevent me from changing my collision and comprehensive coverage to drop my deductible to $100, get my car fixed, then switch the coverage back to my normal rate?""

Health Insurance- Test Result Privacy?

I am curious as to how much information my insurance company (through an employer) has access to. For example, can they view the results of my blood tests done via Labcorp/Quest if they payed for them? Also, what about a test such as an EMG and Nerve Conduction study. Do they receive a copy of the final report? I know a copy is sent to my physician and that I personally have the right to a copy. But are results also sent to my insurance company? For what it's worth I have BCBS. Any input would be greatly appreciated.""

I'm 18 can my 18 year old friend take me to my driving test?

I just turned 18 and I'm about to take my driving test. Can my friend take me who is 18 and has her CA driver's license already? Also, if I'm borrowing her car, does my name need to be on the insurance? I live in southern California Thank you""

Cheapest insurance for young driver (UK)?

Whats the cheapest companys for somone who has just passed? one of my mates say co-ops deal for young drivers, another one of my mates says a guy at college says you can get insured with the farmers union even if your not a farmer and get it cheap, is this true? also, any other companies?""

How much have you paid for classic car insurance?

I have just bought merc e220 1993 and looking for cheap policy. Im over 30 female and got a wicked quote for fully comp with a named driver for 180. What have you paid?

Liability insurance on a leased car?

If I lease a car or buy it on credit (a 2004 convertible mustang eg.) can I just buy cheap liability insurance? Please explain, I'm new to this and I need a car asap :/ please and thnx!!!""

Is there a State Farm insurance branch in Texas?

State auto insurance vs. state of registration?

I am currently working a temporary job away from home in another state not my permanent residence (I am living there for the term of the employment). While there I bought another vehicle and registered it in that state and when insuring it moved my other car to the policy not realizing this could cause a problem. Now on my first vehicle, which was registered in my home state, the home state has refused to renew the registration because it carries out of state insurance. However, I also don't own the first vehicle, it is owned by my parents who are a resident of my home state, I just use it and pay the insurance. So unless I am missing anything, It looks like I am basically going to be forced to register that vehicle in a state where I do not have residence or cancel my insurance policy and get insurance for only that vehicle through a provider in my home state. Is this it or are there other options? I'm confused because they let me renew last year even though I had the out of state insurance, but I had switched during that year so maybe they considered me part-time or something. I would like to avoid changing any state registrations for the time being, because this process is expensive and complicated between the two states in question. Someone told me the cheapest option might be to get a minimum liability policy on the car in my home state so they will give me registration, but I have never heard of that and I'm not sure if that is ok (having two insurance policies on the same vehicle)? I am not trying to play tricks or loophole anything here, I just want to figure out my options and get this done without costing me a lot of money or time.""

Short term car insurance for driving abroad???? (in france)?

I am 19 years old and heading to france for the day, the yearly car insurance I already have does not cover me abroad, so I need to get insurance for the day. I have looked online but most companies only insure people who are 23 years old+""

How is mandated health insurance a stepping stone for universal health care?

Doesn't it just make the HMO's/insurance companies more powerful (which will make them more influential)? Won't it just be like mandated car insurance--but much more expensive?

Car insurance rate 2 driver 2 car under one policy?

I am 25 yrs old and my mom is 40 yrs old. Been shopping around for insurance and found out it is cheaper to put 2 drive and 2 cars under one policy. Is there any pros and cons in doing this? Could doing this affect me later on if i want to be under my own policy ?

""If i have full coverage for car insurance that covers theft, how much should i get?""

esurance if it helps, do i get what i paid for the car when it was new or the bluebook value""

What's the best deals on auto insurance?

Insurance then car?

I'm confused, I want to know what would be the best car to get cheap insurance on it. I'm a 20yr old employed woman. I don't care what car I get (I know, it's tragic) as long as it gets me the chepeast insurance. Which car should I buy? (I have a budget of 2000 ish)""

""I been in a car accident with no car insurance, so I want to know how much should I pay the person who's suing?""

I was in a car accident with no insurance and they claim I owed over $6,000. I end up talking it down to $3,000 even. I wanted to know did I over paid or was that a fair amount. The person had whiplash and received treatment and the car was damage at the rear end.""

Is minimum coverage car insurance the same as an SR22?

In Tennessee, is minimum coverage car insurance the same as an SR22? I already have minimum coverage but am now required to get an SR22. Is this something that needs to be added on or will minimum coverage suffice? Thanks.""

How do online insurance quotes know the cars I own?

How do online insurance quotes (via Progressive, State Farm, etc.) know what cars I own based only on my name, address, and birth date? What kind of database houses this information?""

How much is motorcycle insurance for a 19 year old male?

i bought a motorcycle it is a 2006 cf moto v3 now how much is the insurance going to be a month? im new to riding

Switch auto insurance from USAA to Nationwide?

If the policy quoted by Nationwide was ~35% cheaper than what USAA would give, for the exact same coverage, would you switch? Why or why not?

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/car-towing-service-affect-my-future-insurance-quote-daniel-ruiz/"

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superblyjovialtheorist-blog · 6 years ago

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How much more will my parents have to pay if I were to be added on their Insurance policy?

"How much more will my parents have to pay if I were to be added on their Insurance policy?

Please give me a price range?..

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://averageinsurancecosts.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr