#also i’m feeling physically stronger and such. yanno

[mars-ipan]

signs i’m actually recovering: i wanna get high so bad

[wetbloodworm]

doodling bits from a scene i have in my head that requires. some context actually. like a lot of the things i drop here for this verse. hang on i saw a post the other day

part of me feels like i should make yet another sideblog just for these guys so i’m not making y’all look at them all the time when you mostly don’t know what’s going on because it’s all tucked away in my head and also in a private google doc and i’m just vomiting out different tidbits of context at random. but that would make me a coward so instead i’m just forcing through my anxiety lmao besides!! some of you don’t have context for the other non-dreamverse shit i post and i don’t feel the same level of anxiety about that. it’s fine! it’s my blog!! it’s fine!!!

anyway. setup for the scene is basic, asim gets critically injured on a job and they’re either somewhere an ambulance can’t easily reach or one just won’t get there in time. achlys has a potential solution.

context, explanation, and more doodles under the cut b/c this post is getting long

so, important universe context for the rest of the scene:

asim’s necklace is a magic item that protects him from magical/intangible attacks and keeps all his metaphysical bits inside him. it’s like a lock, keeps others out and Himself in. so like supernatural creatures can’t drain him of his energy, or control his mind, or, most relevant to what he encounters on the daily, do any shenanigans to his soul. he was initially given the necklace to protect him from achlys specifically.

somaphors have a limited ability to manipulate their host body, stuff like being able to make aesthetic or other surface changes. it’s how achlys changes their eye color to give themself heterochromia regardless of which body they’re in, and lets them treat some injuries at an accelerated rate. the ability is there for the injury thing tbh, a natural way to protect the host body and keep it functioning longer, the aesthetic stuff is a secondary usage the species kinda figured out and likes to have fun with lol

like 99% of the time, somaphors can only possess bodies that don’t have a soul in them already. it’s almost universally believed that they CAN’T possess occupied bodies, by both humans and somaphors themselves.

at this point in the story, achlys is no longer murderous and they’re both starting to build up some trust with each other. ‘starting’ being the key word here.

SO WITH ALL THAT IN MIND the part of this scene that follows the above comic is achlys grabbing the necklace and starting to take it off asim. which, understandably, makes asim panic, b/c even if achlys has chilled out literally the only reason he knows why they’d need his necklace off is so they can eat him. achlys meanwhile just wants to try to possess asim while his soul is still there but losing its grip since he’s dying so that they can patch up the body as much as they can, hopefully enough to get asim to a doctor.

asim is physically stronger than achlys like this but he is, again, dying, so the struggle doesn’t last too long. which results in one of my favorite things: body-sharing shenanigans

asim isn’t a fan. achlys doesn’t love it much either tbh but yanno. asim lives and that’s what matters. bonus that i didn’t draw, achlys has to drag their now-empty body with them to the doctor so that they can possess it again later once they’re sure asim is fine. has to deal with the hospital staff being Alarmed and Confused when the patient with zero brain activity suddenly wakes up and appears totally fine, which is annoying, but the alternative is emptying + possessing an entirely new body which would be a lot more work and also asim would be mad at them.

one last mental image i have for after this scene is achlys hanging out in asim’s room after they’ve been cleared, making an idle comment about being ready to get out of this place. asim asking if they dislike hospitals, achlys clarifying that no, it’s... okay look. hospitals make them hungry. asim like excuse me, achlys like listen it’s just how we get food! we hang around where people are dying! it’s an association thing for me!! asim saying that god they make it so hard to justify their friendship sometimes when they say fucked up shit like that, achlys like LISTEN I SAVED YOUR LIFE I SHOULD GET A PASS FOR THIS ONE

i lied, one more. asim asking if that means there are other somaphors here now in their incorporeal forms, lurking around the place. achlys like i mean i can’t see them when i’m possessing someone but yeah, 100%, saw like five on the way back to my body. i’d imagine we’ve got an audience for this conversation, it’d be one of the more interesting ones they could listen in on. hello to whoever’s here, by the way. asim DEEPLY UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THE IDEA

i feel like this is incomprehensible outside of my own brain but it’s fine these posts are for me anyway

[dickwheelie]

HOLD ON i'ts one am and idk if you're still taking jm requests but MARTIN LIFTING JON

it’s 11pm for me but yanno what it’s never too late for lifting your bf

(also how dare u target me so specifically annaaaaaa) (thank you tho)

__________

The Scottish Highlands in autumn were lovely, which didn’t surprise Jon. What did surprise him was how cold they got on autumn mornings. He and Martin had only been in the safehouse for a few days, so neither of them had bothered trying to figure out the fireplace yet, but when Jon woke up one morning feeling like his bare feet were made out of icicles, he resolved to chop wood for the fire himself if he had to.

More immediately, of course, was the trouble of getting out of bed. Which Jon really, really didn’t want to do, when even the comforter he was wrapped in wasn’t warm enough. To make matters worse, his preferred space heater these past couple of days (otherwise known as Martin) wasn’t anywhere to be seen.

Jon could smell breakfast cooking, which answered that question. Breakfast in bed it was, then, because Jon wasn’t leaving his relatively warm bed until the temperate rose above freezing. (Never mind that it was probably only slightly colder than London this time of year; without central heating it damn well felt like it was freezing.)

“Jon?” Martin poked his head through the bedroom doorway. “Breakfast?” He was still in his pajamas, with a bit of leftover bedhead, and looked incredibly soft and cozy. Jon was still getting used to the two of them navigating a romantic relationship, but one thing he had immediately taken to was Martin’s physical affection. He had desperately missed having someone around whose touches were . . . not gentle, per se, but well-intended. Trustworthy. Jon liked Martin just as well when he was gently helping him brush out his hair as when he was half-lying on top of him on the sofa, grounding him with a comforting weight. Martin always asked him if he wanted to be touched first, and Jon almost always said yes, because Martin seemed to have a knack for knowing how best to apply his strength or his softness, both of which he seemed to have in infinite supply.

Right now, however, Martin was asking him about breakfast. Jon demonstratively buried himself further into the blankets. “Too cold,” he said simply. “Come back to bed.”

Martin laughed, seemingly unbothered by cold himself. Walking space heater. Unfair. “You’ll be warmer with tea and eggs.”

“I’m not getting up,” Jon said, a bit more cogently. “Either you bring breakfast to me or I stay here till noon, when the temperature might be survivable.”

Martin surveyed him for a moment, drinking in the sight of Jon wrapped up in the comforter like a particularly grumpy burrito. “What if I bring you to breakfast?”

“I . . . what?”

“Here,” Martin said, coming round to Jon’s side of the bed and leaned down. “I’ll carry you out to the sofa.”

“I . . . um. Okay,” said Jon, wondering if Martin could actually lift him. He was strong, yes, but--

But Martin was already scooping him up, blankets and all, holding him bridal style, his arms tucked securely under Jon’s knees and upper back. Instinctively, Jon wrapped his arms around Martin’s neck, but there was really no need; Martin carried him seemingly effortlessly, and Jon wasn’t sure if it was because he was so light, or because Martin was simply much stronger than Jon had thought. Probably both. The thought really didn’t help Jon’s heart as it beat a little harder in his chest, and a bit of warmth returned to his face. He’d always sort of liked the idea of having a partner who could lift him like this, but trust had always been an issue in the past. That, and the unfortunate possibility that his partner would assume it was a sexual thing. Now, though, with Martin . . . he smiled to himself, and leaned a bit further into Martin’s hold, tucking his face into the side of Martin’s neck. With Martin, he knew, he was utterly safe.

It only took a few moments for Martin to carry him out into the living room that opened out to the cabin’s tiny kitchen and place Jon on the sofa, but Jon fancied that he took a bit longer than he needed to. He definitely took his time extracting himself from Jon once he’d put him down, kneeling on the floor and wrapping Jon in a hug, tight and grounding, before rising to retrieve their breakfast. Jon’s whole body buzzed pleasantly in the wake of it, no longer cold in the least. Space heater, indeed. The loveliest space heater ever invented, apparently.

Martin joined him on the sofa to eat. He apparently noticed Jon’s abrupt change in mood, saying, “I can do that sort of thing more often, if you like. You’re really not that heavy.”

Jon tried not to seem too eager. “You’re sure?”

“Course,” Martin said, smiling, “it’s nice, holding you.”

Jon felt his face heat, again. “Well. Good,” he said, trying to sound nonchalant and probably failing, “because it’s, ah, it’s nice. Being held by you.”

“Aw, Jon,” Martin said, reaching over to hold his hand. He held it gently this time, his strength hidden away, waiting for another moment. Still, it was just as warm as ever.

[nadziejastar]

The Beast had a ferociously strong heart—its strength of will alone had taken him to Hollow Bastion to save one of the princesses, Belle.

“Looks strong,” Axel remarked from behind them.

“Yeah. He is,” Riku said, sinking into thought. His heart is even stronger than his body. It’s exactly the kind of heart the organization wants…

“But someone that strong won’t just do whatever the organization says,” Naminé murmured.

“Well, this is their chance to show how persuasive they can be,” Axel said with a bitter smirk.

Thanks, I appreciate that, as well as the video suggestion! I think Axel was plenty strong. He’s saved the day more than once. His fighting style just prioritized speed and cleverness over raw power. He’s actually similar to Ventus, while Riku was more like Terra. Sora is not some physical powerhouse, either. He’s a pretty skinny kid. But he’s saved the world more than once.

He always did very well with his chakrams and I never understood where the non-official Guardian of Light job description listed "has to have a keyblade".

Wielding a Keyblade is supposed to depend on the strength of one’s heart, not necessarily their body. And all evidence suggests that Lea had an exceptionally strong heart. It's disappointing when I see fans say that Lea didn’t “need” or “deserve” a Keyblade. It just goes to show how much his lack of backstory hurt his character development in the long run. 

Nomura: In order to wield a Keyblade, the most important requirement is to be “the owner of a strong heart.” Regardless if it’s a good heart or a bad heart, a strong heart is necessary. Right now there are a lot of things that Lea wants to regain. That desire is connected to the strength of his heart.

His whole arc was supposed to be about having a strong heart. And of course he needed a Keyblade to be a Guardian of Light. It’s not just about fighting. The Keyblade opens any door, including the door to a person’s heart. Lea needed one to recover what he lost. That’s what the power of waking was supposed to be about.

“Are you sure you can pull that off?”

“You could pretend to have a little faith in me.” Axel rolled his shoulders back.

“I don’t. No matter what you believe, I don’t have much faith that a guy who let Kairi get kidnapped out from under his nose, lost a fight, and nearly disappeared is going to be strong enough for this.” Riku let out a small sigh.

Axel liked to talk a big game as part of his personality. And people would make quips at his expense for fun. I also think Axel being teased about his competence was supposed to be a reference to his backstory, more than actual commentary on his lack of fighting skill. Riku didn’t have much faith in his ability to save Kairi.

“If it starts going bad, just run for it. You’re pretty fast, right?”

Axel grinned at that. “Well, faster than you, anyway.” He bit into his ice cream and stood, then opened a rift into the darkness.

“Axel!” she cried, jumping up to run after him.

“Don’t worry, Naminé. I’m the fastest the organization had. If I run, they’ll never catch me. Got it memorized?” She stopped short and nodded.

“See you.” Holding the ice cream pop in his mouth, he stepped into the rift. A tear rolled down Naminé’s cheek as she watched the darkness close around him.

Naminé was very worried about him. Then he says “See you”. Lea and Isa also say this to each other in KH3. When Axel returned he was badly hurt.

“Annihilated.” “Terminated.” I’ll never see him again.

“…They said all the members who went to Castle Oblivion got annihilated…”

Axel stuck out his chest. “Well, I’m pretty tough.”

But something feels off, thought Roxas. Besides, Axel isn’t as strong as he says he is—I think.

“…I was worried, okay.”

Roxas thought he’d never see Axel again, but he came back from Castle Oblivion, and said “I’m tough” as if he were invincible. Roxas knew he was putting on an act in order to be playful.

It’s possible that this is the last time I’ll see Saïx, Axel thought, as he looked at the seated Saïx’s back.

“We’ve known each other for a pretty long time, haven’t we?” Saïx kept tapping at the keyboard, as if ignoring Axel.

“Say something. Have you even thought that maybe I can’t erase Roxas?” Axel said, in a playful tone, and Saïx finally looked up. “It’ll be all right. ‘Cause I’m tough.”

“Saying stupid things,” said Saïx, smiling for just a second at Axel, puffing out his chest.

When Axel thought it might be the last time he’d ever see Saïx, he said the same thing. It’s an inside joke of some sort. Probably a reference to a time Lea did something reckless to save Isa and he thought he’d never see Lea again. But he survived (probably barely). And then he acted cocky and said he was tough. He was happy Isa was worried about him and was being playful. Maybe that was actually when Isa gave him the WINNER stick. He couldn’t actually treat him to ice cream like he wanted to. So he gave him that stick as the only way to reward him. And maybe this is why ice cream was so sentimental to Axel. Isa gave Lea the ice cream in the KH3 ending, too. I think it was originally supposed to be a reward for saving him.

“I checked that place out yesterday, and that Heartless looked pretty darn tough. I reckon it might be impossible for him to get that thing on his own, hmm ~”

“Are you trying to tell me to let them go together?” asked Saïx in a disagreeable tone.

“I’ll go to Agrabah. Then there’s no problem, right?” Axel’s voice was a little deeper.

“Can you really defeat the Heartless in Agrabah?”

“It’ll be fine. I’m tough, you know.”

“But, you can’t collect its—”

“I’ll just keep the thing in check for now,” Axel interrupted.

For a moment Saïx glowered, the scar on his forehead twisting. “Today is the last day. From tomorrow, you will be doing your missions solo.”

On Day 96, Axel said he was tough again. He was going to take on a very strong Heartless on his own. He apparently was referring to an instance where Lea did that for Isa, who would have been a goner on his own. Saïx wasn’t happy to be reminded of the past.

“Your performance was quite forced,” Saïx muttered, noticing Axel’s gazing at him.

“What is this about?” asked Axel, cracking his neck.

“I’m not all that impressed.”

Sensing an incoming lecture, Axel started walking away. “Well, I’m off to Agrabah. I’ll be back.” His figure vanished into a corridor.

He said he thought Axel’s “performance” was unimpressive.

It was no big deal heading to Agrabah alone, but getting slammed into the ground was pretty nasty. Taking care of other people, and not being able to take care of myself… this isn’t like me.

Even though Axel should have been happy when Xion managed to get her Keyblade back, this is one of the days Axel acts the most depressed. He hated being thanked by them. All he wanted was a sea-salt ice cream. 

“Your treat today, huh?”

“Well, today is special,” said Roxas, sitting down beside him.

Roxas feels more and more like Sora when he smiles. Well, I didn’t actually get to see Sora smile in that castle. Anyway, we Nobodies were born when our Others became a Heartless. So, fundamentally, we Nobodies just can’t know every single thing about our Others.

There was only one person that Axel had known as an Other, and was still in touch with. It was even more unlikely, in fact impossible, for his Nobody and Other to meet at the same time. Because, essentially, Nobodies and their Others—as in, the human who became a heartless—don’t exist at the same time.

But Roxas, right here, is a special Nobody. He doesn’t only wield the Keyblade; he also exists at the same time as his Other. That’s like, defying the rules of the universe. But, I’ve heard that the Keyblade reflects the will of the universe. Are the rules and the will different?

He was staring unthinkingly at Roxas’ profile.

Roxas knew Axel was putting on a performance when he came back from Castle Oblivion. But he was so relieved that Axel had survived that he treated him to ice cream that day. Axel was staring at Roxas’ profile, which apparently is code in the novel for Axel remembering Isa. He was comparing the relationship of a Nobody to their Other, and how they don’t exist at the same time. Isa doesn’t exist anymore. Just Saïx. Axel started to realize that he wasn’t motivated by the same thing Saïx was. Upon his return, Saïx’s main priority was finding the Chamber of Waking, not his safety. Axel’s main priority was that Saïx didn’t thank him or worry about him like Roxas did.

“I’m enjoying the taste properly. It’s Xion’s treat, after all,” said Roxas, gazing at the very last bite of ice cream remaining.

“Though Xion could have only treated me,” Axel said, jokingly.

“No… it’s thanks to both of you,” Xion replied. The train’s whistle could be heard from far away.

“It’d be nice if we could always be together like this,” said Roxas.“Yeah…” Xion nodded. 

Axel scratched his head. “Where did that come from?”

“I was just thinking, it’d be nice if the three of us could watch the sunset together and eat ice cream after missions every day,” Roxas said casually.

Once more, Axel looked at Roxas’ profile. Roxas and Xion’s faces were dyed red by the setting sun. Axel tore his gaze away from their profiles, and said in a low voice, “Well, that’s not gonna happen—we’re Nobodies, yanno.”

He was looking at both of their profiles after Xion treated him to ice cream on Day 96, too.

Looks like those are the magic words. We’ll be able to know it if Kingdom Hearts is completed… really? No one has ever seen Kingdom Hearts complete before. But there’s nothing else for us but to believe.

The pitiful Heartless gather hearts….

“Kingdom Hearts…,” Roxas murmured, gazing at the sunset. Axel looked at the profile of his face, and took a quiet breath.

And he looked at Roxas’ profile on Day 171 ~Love~, where the Beast was injured protecting Belle, and she was so worried about him.

Although the castle had been entrusted to him, Marluxia was only number 11. Their assigned numbers in the Organization did not directly correspond to strength. And yet, it seemed Axel, number 8, saw Marluxia as inferior. He would be wrong. In truth, Marluxia’s strength in battle surpassed his. Axel was underestimating him simply because of his rank.

In this series, the strength of one’s heart affects their power level. Throughout the story, Axel was not very happy. He thought he had no heart, he had Saïx hunting him down, Roxas had disappeared, and he thought his own time to disappear was coming any minute. So, his heart was greatly weakened due to his loneliness. 

Axel is probably rather wounded. And she seems to have completely lost consciousness. I really didn’t think that Xion would lose to Axel the way she is now, but maybe that’s the strength of those touched by the Hero, thought Xemnas. In other words, the depth of one’s connection to the Hero will emerge in battle just like that.

If there is a way for those without hearts—Nobodies—to gain hearts, perhaps their connection to Sora—the Keyblade Hero—is some kind of start. The special Nobody, and the doll. And then, the Nobody who went and had deep contact with them. There’s no reason changes wouldn’t emerge. And, it wasn’t the doll that gained the most power.

All of the talk of Axel being weak might very well have been build-up for the moment where he amazed everyone with his true strength, which I don’t think he tapped into until the fight with Xion. Xemnas didn’t even expect Axel to win that fight. But he realized just how powerful he was at that moment. I think the fact that he was looking at the wall and it zoomed in on the words “Door to Darkness” was supposed to be a LOT more important than we ever got to learn.

In the “Ansem’s Reports” my apprentice Xehanort had written under my name, I found the records of his hideous experiments along with his hypothesis about the door that had appeared out of the darkness in my basement…Did Xehanort pass through that door in an attempt to contact that dark realm? No, not only Xehanort. It appears my other five apprentices, believing it was for the sake of research, stared deep into the darkness and were pulled into it. Even, Ienzo, Braig, Dilan, and Aeleus…They have ceased to be human. I, too, have had everything taken away from me, banished to a hollow realm of nothingness.

Since he was involved with the experiments the apprentices were conducting, he probably went through that Door to Darkness, like they did.

The six traitors were operating a laboratory that churned out those cursed shadows. Not only did they generate “pureblood” Heartless from living hearts, but they then used those Heartless to synthesize artificial versions of the creatures as well. These synthetic Heartless bore insignias and were called “Emblems.“ Pureblood or Emblem, these Heartless act only to fulfill their instinctive needs. They single-mindedly detect hearts and swarm around them.

Lea was recompleted near the Heartless Manufactory. He was even looking inside of there when he was wondering where Braig and Isa went. The apprentices were manufacturing Heartless to look for the Heart of the World. In Re:CoM, Axel spoke like he may have witnessed Xehanort turn into a Heartless. And in 3D he said Xehanort “didn’t count”. He knew Xehanort wasn’t going to be recompleted with the rest of the apprentices.

A human’s commands would be ineffective: the Heartless would easily steal the human’s heart and use it to increase their own ranks. But what if an even stronger Heartless was giving the orders? If he cast aside his own soul and body and became a Heartless, wouldn’t he be able to control the otherwise intractable Heartless? Furthermore, wouldn’t he be planning to make use of the creatures’ instincts? If the heart-seeking Heartless have their sights set on a larger, more powerful heart, their ultimate goal is crystal-clear. The largest heart in existence—the heart of the world. This is all conjecture, but it would seem he is utilizing the Heartless in his search for a path leading to the heart of the world.

When Xion collapsed on Day 193 ~Memories~, she said “Sora”. Axel probably was able to put two and two and two together based on what he saw in Castle Oblivion. He knew Sora had been turned into a Heartless and retained a sense of self. I have a feeling that was probably why he was so upset at Saïx when he got back. Lea took some kind of great risk for Isa’s sake. He was prepared to sacrifice himself for him, I think. So of course he would be upset at his lack of consideration. He told Roxas and Xion they were best friends on that day to let them know that he cared about them and that friends worry about each other.

Day 194 ~Like It Should Be~

During a mission, Roxas and Axel visited the world where Roxas had once flown. Roxas again met Tinker Bell and had her sprinkle pixie dust on him so that they might fly. He began to float, but Axel remained firmly planted on the ground. Roxas told Axel to trust him, that he too could fly if he believed it. Trusting in Roxas's words, Axel began to float in the air. The pair flew off to complete their mission. Roxas spent his days completing missions.

Interestingly, the day after Xion collapsed is the day Axel was able to fly in Neverland because he trusted Roxas and was able to believe.

“No vessel, no help from the Heartless… So tell me, how’d you get here?” Riku said to the huge animal from a floating boulder.

“I simply believed. Nothing more to it.” The purple cape over his furry body fluttered in the wind. “When our world fell into darkness, Belle was taken from me. I vowed I would find her again no matter the cost. I believed I would find her.” The Beast’s low, rumbling voice rose. “I will have her back!”

Lea is unique. He is able to open dark corridors as a human. Only DiZ and the Beast are said to be capable of this.

What are you so afraid of?

Getting old. Being different. Being indecisive.

If he went through the Door to Darkness, he must have found a Door to Light. I think Lea would choose “being indecisive”. He said if you’ve got a dream, you don’t wait. You act. In Days, he was always thinking about what he wanted to do and what he should do. He was very indecisive. But he decided that he was just going to do what he wanted, not what he thought he “should” do.

Riku: The door has opened, Sora! Now we can go to the outside world! Once we step through, we might not be able to come back. We may never see our parents again. There’s no turning back. But this may be our only chance. We can’t let fear stop us! I’m not afraid of the darkness!

To step through the door, you have to let go of fear.

Axel and Xion ceasing to exist—the thought was even more frightening to him than his own termination. Roxas didn’t want to dwell on it at all.

Axel looked away into the distance. “Something in you probably does remember what it’s like to be scared. So you think you’re feeling it now.”

Axel said his memories of the past were what he couldn’t bear to lose.

Mickey: You used the darkness to get here? That was reckless. But gosh, I didn't expect you to save us...Axel.

Lea: Axel didn't. My name is Lea.

He didn’t hesitate to use the power of darkness while he was looking for Isa.

What do you want outta life?

To see rare sights. To broaden my horizons. To be strong.

Originally he probably just wanted to broaden his horizons and see rare sights. But afterwards, he definitely wanted to be strong.  He needed to protect his friends. That’s why he got such a tremendous power boost while he was fighting Xion. I was reading a forum topic about someone who said that Axel’s extreme transformation was not convincing and it made me sad because I understood why they thought that.

And the lack of any meaningful conversations make this age (and experience) gap so much more obvious. Axel complains about the job being a bother, Roxas looks at him with a stupid face, saying that he doesn't even know what to do with himself without the job. Or Axel explains something that any normal person would know about - which must be rather exhausting after a while, it's like being with a toddler all day while pretending you have the time of your life. Or - most of the times - they don't talk about anything because there's nothing to talk about and just stare and eat ice cream. I know this is supposed to be relaxing and emotional and stuff, but I found it rather repetitive and dull.

This is a quote from that topic. The person didn’t understand why Axel had such a sudden shift in values after coming back from Castle Oblivion. He thought Axel changed only because of Roxas and Xion “BFF power”, and became just a lame generic goody-goody character in KH3. He didn’t understand why Axel was so interested in two kids he could barely talk about anything but ice cream with. But that was kind of the point. Axel did have to dumb everything down with them, and he couldn’t hold much of a meaningful conversation with them. 

What’s most important to you?

Being number one. Friendship. My prize possessions.

But you weren’t supposed to take Axel’s behavior with them at face value. He wasn’t thinking the same things they were. They were happy to eat ice cream an hang out. For them it was that simple. 

A wish that they could always be together—was longing for the impossible. But at least they could always remember one another.

But for Axel, there was FAR more going through his head than just that. And it’s a shame that most of the depth to his character has been lost.

Maybe they were evenly matched after all. And they both had their reasons for fighting. He’d been overthinking the do’s and don’ts so much that he lost sight of what he wanted.

Axel’s lack of a true fleshed out backstory hurt his character arc A LOT.

“You’ve lost sight of the light within the darkness. And it seems that you’ve forgotten that you forgot.”

“The light within the darkness…,” Sora murmured, as if it reminded him of something.

Axel seized on that. “You want me to give you a hint?”

Isa was his light within the darkness. Remembering all of that is what changed Axel so drastically after he got back from Castle Oblivion. Not just eating ice cream with Roxas and Xion. Of course if you never show that, his sudden transformation makes no sense.

“I’ve decided! No matter how many times you guys run away I’ll bring you back, no matter how many times it takes!” he wished—he shouted, he wailed, he vowed.

I’ll bring them back no matter how many times it takes. No matter how many times. For my own sake, for your sakes. No matter how strong Xion tries to make her power, I don’t think I’ll lose. Because, I’m strong.

Lea didn’t remember the promise he made to Xion. He didn’t even remember Xion at all. But he did remember the promise he made to Isa. In KH3, he said that he’d drag him home. But he never did or even attempted to. It all amounted to a bunch of wasted talk. Lea said “Dark Rescue” was his middle name, though we never saw him actually attempt any dark rescues. He probably did in his past, though. After he said that he would even drag Isa home, he mentioned Lea’s tear marks had disappeared. Hint, hint, hint.

Roxas: Hey, Axel. You haven’t forgotten?

Axel: Hm? What?

Roxas: You made us a promise.

Axel: I did?

Roxas: That you’d always be there…to bring us back.

Axel: Yeah…

Roxas: Got it memorized?

Axel: Best friends forever.

Maybe that’s what he was even trying to do here. With Xion, he was carrying her in his arms. Since Lea and Isa were the same size, maybe Lea was carrying him on his back? Lea went to retrieve Isa and drag him home if he had to. That might be why they are both outside of that transporter area. Of course, being next to the Heartless Manufactory, there were probably a lot of Heartless around. So they didn’t last long. Well, that’s one possibility.

[byebyechloe]

So I’ve been contemplating writing this for awhile...

about.... let’s see, I need to do the math.

we broke up January 15th.

Then we talked until, what would you say? the third Monday of February?

Yes, February 18th. I remember that night well. It shook me to the core, that's when our break up... really began to be our break. up. 

but then let me throw this at you. this low low low LOW number.

18 days. (That’s how many days you had me blocked. I’m assuming... if not less. I accidentally came up on that realization one day. So who knows.)

I took the ballsy choice of adding you back on snap, being subtle. you added me back the same night, and thats when it all began again. 

well... kinda, took us until, when? probably like 2 Fridays later? I slid into your texts to tell you about a artist I liked and thought you’d vibe too. Ironically, you already fucked with him too. 

Then that next weekend I gave you the entire snapchat tour of the 2nd Ben Rector concert we didn't attend together, but this one we had planned too...

and then I think... the next Friday is when I took a huge risk on my mental health and dropped sam off at Julies and off I was! back to the place in the middle of the damn trees, just to spend a night with you again, that I thought would just be a random hook up, and then we’d just let it all go again. but no.

I left that bed with plans to be back the next weekend, and then plans to hangout when you moved home for the “short” time you had planned before “moving away back east”, that ended up being an entire summer, and you ended up being A LOT closer than you planned when you did finally move away again in October. But this moving away didn’t happen of course, until after another big “I'm sick of you!” argument from us both (after an ironically, perfect Saturday with you. I still think about that night. so cute and romantic in the weirdest, not romantic way.) and then we talked on and off for another time. this was a little longer than 18 days, but wasn’t longer than 3 weeks. And you were back around, and I was stronger alone, but so was my strong belief in the damn signs I've been getting the last fucking YEAR of us doing this ~thing~ of ours from the big guy up there (imagine me pointing, yanno me, i’m an awkward bitch who points, bet you can imagine my torn up nails too. you always remind me to stop biting them. thanks for that.)

Oh.. yeah, hey, happy 1 year of crossing paths (again, if you count the years we didn’t really /know/ each other, but were in the same friend circle... somehow. idk.) and taking away my right to say “i’ve never fallen inlove like for real for real!” (my words, not society’s.) 

But yeah, when I sit here and type, I realize I won’t get as much out as I will whenever you give me the chance to say it all out loud (if you could be /so/ kind), but let me get to my favorite part of the last 365 days.

I’ll start with the fact that... that night.... I almost cancelled on you 3 fucking times. This was before I caught on to God’s lessons that he embedded in our encounter and friendship. Now I see this was his small beginning and it was with the fact that we both come from two different lives and backgrounds, that being symbolized by the fact that I usually eat dinner at like... 5 pm. and you are a more 7 pm guy. By 6:30 I was not only hangry, but beginning to let my anxiety and trust issues from my past start to creep in. “He is really gonna pull this? after 3 weeks of us talking? AND its the day before my birthday? how rude.” I thought. I even told my friends twice I wanted to drop the date, and they both said to do what made me happy. But yanno what I did that I never do? especially in that season of life I was in? (this was “fuck guys, none of them deserve me anyway) phase, by the way. I’m still in it, but you’re an exception.)

I just said... “no. I’ll give him 10 more minutes”.... three times. But yanno what?

It was the best decision I ever fucking made in my ENTIRE life. (other than that one time we... yanno... had sex for (my) the first time (ours together). Sorry but I mean you saw this coming right?) 

You kept me talking and laughing from the moment I walked out of my front door that night... all the way until, well, that night we broke up in January. Yet, I think you still made me giggle a few times before we finally hung the 3 hour phone call up. 

OH! Our first date was November 15th, 2018. Crazy... we broke up literally... 2 months after our first date. That’s super weird. This isn’t the first time that dates have aligned like that in my life. It’s whatever, ANYWAY. 

Back to the story! So. Yeah. Best night of my life. seriously. Going out with you that night was the best decision I ever made. It was so fun and sweet and carefree and I was so happy. 

Bro-- you make me /SO/ fucking happy.

 Even after all the shit we’ve gone through, I’d still pick you over any guy on this damn planet, and that says a lot about me considering you’re very deep into your “bachelor szn” of life right now. Which I’m happy af for you for, that is a sick time of life, and you deserve to live it. I just appreciate you keeping me around for the nights you want someone to hold and kiss and watch movies with. (the dinner was an added bonus, and very sexy. so keep it up for me pls. I promise I will reciprocate my thanks.)

But anyway. The 1st date, it was the night I think God sealed the deal of the whole “you’re gonna fall inlove with this guy when y'all kiss” thing. I never really believed in that shit, partly bc I hated hallmark movies and hated the entire feeling of love after what I thought I knew from my last big relationship before you, but I was so wrong.

I still think about our first kiss a lot, and I hate to admit that because I am not that OOZY with love and emotions. But I do. And I never realized that was the night I fell in love with you, I realized that the last night you and I stayed at Julie and Camden’s... yanno before you met some new girl and started seeing her like 3-4 nights a week? yeah same. I wasn’t a complete mess though, I worked on school and fell in love with the art of teaching, so that was cool. But yeah. That night. You and I literally had so many nights like it this summer, but, yet, THAT night is when I was trying to fall asleep and the memory of our first date was like “yo what up bitch time to relive this day again.”

and I did. and it was amazing. and then when it got to that kissing part (Sam was so annoyed by us, I think. I don’t really remember. it was THAT good of a kiss my dude.) I really realized that is when I began to believe in the fact that a man could possibly love me, or care for me, or just like me again. I was so happy. 

I have learned so many lessons from this whole 365 days (and counting) experience. Let me explain.

- be patient. (THIS was the biggest and hardest one, and its ongoing. I want to say I’m doing better.) I've had to really stop myself from getting upset and remind myself, “God wouldn’t keep him around in my life like this if he didn’t have a reason too.” He’d give me all the signs to leave. I’m not too blind to look at both sides, I just see more promise in the good side than to be dramatic and listen to the bad side. I see dedication and hard work on the good side. 

- be trusting. (Now I know you get me when I say, trust issues take up your whole damn life. Maybe not as much anymore because we both are/have gone through the stage of life where you learn “people only take as much as you give. So give a little at a time.” which is what your doing now, and is what I learned to start doing... then I met you and ended up dumping all my trust into you. but not in the way you may think, it has taken this entire year for me too. so you’re welcome). I have really started seeing how much I trust you, and how much you deserve it. But I won’t lie and say there aren’t times you don’t deserve me, and I KNOW that. But I refrain from screaming it at you, because.... what is that going to help at this point? The time isn’t here yet, if it ever comes, but if it does, you’ll know I’ve waited to say it, followed up with the whole hearted reason I never let it be why I gave up, because I never will give up on you.*

* When you and I started dating (11...24...18.... yeah. you get why I put it in numbers, right?) You told me in text that night to not give up on you, because you’re still young and still learning. I said I understood and wouldn’t, because you made me (and still do) the happiest girl on this earth. no cap, boo. You also said it and say it almost every time you are drunk and next to me in bed. “Don’t give up on me baby. please.” and my most favorite time, which was Christmas, “Don’t give up on me baby and I swear, I’m going to make our life together so damn great.” and yanno? I still believe it. and Always will. (scouts honor, boo.)

- Be understanding. (This one is gonna get deep.) So, I know, most movies will show you a girl who is a friend of the girl in love, or the guy who is the best best friend of the guy who is also in love tell one of the two that they need to just man up and say how they feel to the other one, even if that other one doesn’t want to believe it. Or better yet, tell the person THEY don't see how inlove they are with a person. Now I won’t sit here and act like I haven’t wished I could come across you with the desire in my heart to just tell you “don’t you see how fucking perfect we are for eachother?” because thats not realistic. That would of pushed me away from any man (and actually has before) who said it to me. SO WHY would I ever try to make someone push you to believe it? Let alone myself? You will realize it yourself someday, or maybe a friend will notice it and mention it to you, but I won’t ever be the one to tell you I think you are dumb for not seeing our potential. I’m fine with waiting until you figure it out. As far behind as you are in the feelings and independence stage in life... emotionally... I am in the independence and living stage... physically. We just did things backwards. 

This is getting long (if it wasn’t a surprise) but...

I love you, boo. I always will, and apparently have since the first night you took me to chilis. So let’s just say this has been a wild year, but I can’t wait for the rest of the others. 

Have fun with whatever/whoever you’re doing, Hope to see ya soon and get my face wash back that I “forgot” two weeks ago.

love, 

your future wifey, hehe. ;)

jk.

love always, Chloe. (or when you like to make me mad, Coco.)

[imagine-wannaone]

Park Jihoon Vampire Au

Word count: 3.3k

This was a request for a Jihoon Vampire au and rlly loved writing this so yanno, I’d love to write a vamp au for another member as well ;) Also I had no idea how to make a lil header for this one so I didn’t?? Sorry about that, I’d ask Otter admin but like she seems busy lately so whoops

Things crossed out - Commentary from me

Things in bold - Commentary from Editor Katie

Things in italic - Commentary from Otter Admin because she’s special

OG Admin

• Your school wasn't exactly known for being an accepting place for vamps, (no shit sherlock) • I mean they survived there, sure, but you couldn't say they were widely accepted, so they tried to stay within their own groups and the majority of them caused no trouble, • You didn't quite understand the prejudice towards them, like yeah they could be very dangerous, but all of the ones that attended school showed no signs of being the corrupt, evil type, • But there was one vampire in particular, whenever anyone said anything it really made you angry, • He looked soft and kind, he never did anything that could cause any conflict, he was clever and gentle, and definitely very pretty, • And shy, • You'd smiled at him in the corridors before, to which he'd avoided eye contact, • Or you'd say hi if waiting nearby, or try to chat if you sat near each other in class, to which he'd turn away with a light blush on his ghostly pale skin, • (Legit Editor Katie tho she pale af) • You just wanted to be nice, but it upset you - the thought you made him uncomfortable, • Or maybe he wasn't shy, as most of the vamps at school acted this way towards you, and you were pretty sure it was because they were afraid you'd bring trouble, like most other humans, • You understood of course, but it didn't stop your simple smiles in the corridors, • But you're walking down the halls with some friends towards a geography class, • Gotta learn about some rivers amiright, (Moana is quaking) • But you hear shouting from down the corridor which makes your blood change to cold, • "-You dirty bloodsucking parasites need to stay in the night where God doesn't have to look at you," • Wow you're off to start a fight (งツ)ว • lmao a verbal one, physical fights are stupid,  • You approach from behind, spotting the guy that has Jihoon himself in a corner, looking down nervously, like he wanted to be anywhere but there, • "You're such a weak, bigoted blood bag," • You march right in there, shoving the guys shoulder back to stand next to Jihoon, the blood gushing through your ears, threatening to deafen you, • The boy has too much silver jewellery and a cross around his neck and you want to scoff, • Why make so much effort just to make someone uncomfortable? What's the point? • "You're always picking on vamps when, what? What did Jihoon do to trigger you? Simply walked past? Is your self control honestly so nonexistent you can't even keep your disgusting thoughts to yourself? You should work on that," • Wow the words just tumbling out what to do ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (-me to them peeps calling daehwi gay/greedy) • You didn’t think them through, and they're not what you'd imagined saying in the scenario you ran through your head every single time this happened, • But they're enough to make the brute stare at you in disbelief as you grab Jihoon's hand, still in a rage, and march him the hell outta there • Your adrenaline is running because you've finally done it, done what you'd always wanted to do • What someone (or everyone, really) should have done a long time ago, • You go to lead Jihoon outside but then realize there's only so much sun cream can do, so change direction to the school’s theater, where you know there's no lessons so it'll be dark • "Hey are you okay?" • You spin around to face him once you've arrived alone in the theater lobby, but you can't see him well in the gloom • You wonder how bad a vamp’s eyesight is in the day, if it's this bad and they just rely on their other senses • "You shouldn't have done that, they're going to pick on you as well now," • His quite voice is concerned and wary, it makes your heart ache • You head over to where the seats are probably are and successfully sit on one, not falling over in the dark • "Let them try," • You believe it • You may be known for being nice, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have a sharp tongue and a strong passion • If people started to distance themselves from you now, you'd know who your true friends were • And you were definitely prepared to use your language, maybe even a few other ones as well, to make sure people knew you didn't give a shit about their prejudice opinions • And you definitely weren't going to let it stand anymore • Jihoon's quiet as he thinks over what you say, within the blink of an eye you can feel his cold presence sat near you • He doesn't quite understand you • Not at all • He doesn't understand why you stood up for him, what you have to gain, why you'd make yourself a target • Why someone he'd always viewed as so soft and kind, someone he tried to stay away from as to no be misfortune to, would voluntarily come to save him from an idiot in the hallway • He'd bite back, but he doesn't want the reputation of vampires to decrease even more, and he doesn't exactly see how it'd help, so he stays silent and resolute • But that confrontation is the beginning of a whole new life for you • A lot of your 'friends' started to distance themselves from you, or straight up told you they thought you were an idiot • Like it hurt, sure, but you stood by the fact that you were sick of the inequality, • You started to walk to classes more with Jihoon, your timetables startlingly similar • Not only because you could defend him easily when you're with him, but with your dwindling number of friends, you didn't have many other people to walk with • Not that you minded as much, you were glad you'd gotten rid of toxic people and were left with true friends

• Y'all 2k18 the year to get rid of toxic friendships (I should know rip) (-mood) • But one night it's like 2am and you're like???? I want to be free, go for a walk and buy some chocolate raisins because living on edge is fun • So that's exactly what you go to do • And you're walking back to your house in pitch black, feeling spooky™ and actually regretting your independence because something feels really off • Yeah I think we all know where this is going • You spot a pale, tall figure (everyone’s tall to u bro) behind you through a closed shop window, you instantly know it's a vamp (I’m 5′0″ legit I’m dying down here) • And you can hear them walking behind you, which means they're close because vampires are known for sneaking • And you will your heart beat to come down because you're 100% sure he can hear it and probably smell it • And you're just figuring out what to do as you speed walk down the street, • You can't run, vampires are speedy and they have better vision, you can't fight; they're stronger than humans • You're just about to start screaming when an icy hand wraps around your wrist, and you start to turn around to fight back, because what more can ya do, when you recognise the cologne, the height, the hair (I remember everyone’s height because they’re aLL TALLER THAN ME) • Wow Jihoon knows when to drop in, • He's gripped your wrist to make sure you stay behind him as he growls (exo is quakin), a terrifying hiss you'd never associate with someone as soft as Jihoon, at the dangerous stalker you had acquired  • Despite this, the feral vamp still lunges, dark sunken eyes focused onto you, almost oblivious of Jihoon • You guess he's hungry, and would feel bad if he wasn't making an attempt on your life • But I guess your own will to live outweighs your ability for sympathy, • (Can't relate) • But Jihoon skilfully spins you away before catching the attacker and basically throwing that bitch into a wall like shit man he got that pOwER • (By EXO is a bop), • You're shook because Jihoon, don't kill the already undead lil shit pls have some manners  • But then he grabs your hand and quickly leads you away like bruh slow down I'm only human, • "I'm so so sorry y/n, are you okay? Why are you out so late?" • You laugh at him as he stops you in a shadow of the already dark night, and wrap your arms around his shoulders tightly, • He's tense at first because human contact?? Why aren't u afraid imma drink your blood god dammit??? •And Jihoon can hear your blood and he's trying so hard not to smell it because you're in his arms and it'd be too easy, too evil (oh nonononono jeojang you ain’t gettin none of my blood) • But he wraps his arms loosely around you and sighs, calming himself down from the rage he felt when he'd seen you in imminent danger • Because this person protects him with everything they have in the day and damn if he wasn't going to finally return the favor • "Why sorry, Jihoon, you just saved my life, god, thank you so much," • You jump back and beam at him because nothing in your whole language can tell him how much you love him in that moment • "It's a vampire, he shouldn't have done that, I'm just sorry," • You can't stand the way Jihoon looks, ashamed and disappointed, • "Don't be stupid, it's not your fault, there are feral people in every race," (-me to haters) • Jihoon's dark eyes stare into yours for a second; you feel as if you're being weighed up, but you stare back, letting him run through whatever thought process he's going through • "You should be careful when you’re out so late, there's too many people like that," • He softens instantly, running his eyes across you, checking to see if you're still in one piece, a hand subconsciously running through your hair, and tilting your head side to side to check the veins in your neck were untouched • The cold of his hands tickle, and the sensation sends tingles down your spine but you don't say anything, just wait till he's done and hold up your bag from the shop • He sighs with a smile, he gently places his hand in between your shoulder blades, pushing forward carefully as the two of you begin walking • "Let's get you home," • Honestly after that night you're shook at how different Jihoon was • In school he's quiet and polite, keeping to himself • But damn this Jihoon almost body slammed someone and talked with utter confidence in his element (i mean have you seen his bice-nope not getting wrekt today bitches) • You loved it tbh the real boy was showing and you were his no.1 fan • You find yourself walking home together the next day, you don't live that close but his house is sort of on the way to yours so it works • And you don't want anyone to pick on him in the daylight when he's alone because some people are absolute jerks • You hold your umbrella high to cover mainly Jihoon as the sun lies in the sky; again, there's only so much incredibly strong sun cream made for vampires can do, and you know the sun still stung, so you bought along your very handy, black umbrella for protection • Jihoon smiled at you when you first brought it out, and you let it make your stomach flip • "You know, I was thinking," • His voice is quiet, soft, weaker, as it always is in the day, and you raise your eyebrows questioningly, to which he huffed at you • "I think you should give me your phone number," • Wow you legit choke • Jihoon takes the umbrella carefully from your arm so you don't have to hold it so high for him, smiling softly at you • "You're a very straightforward guy, let me tell you that," • He laughs at that as you pass him your phone • "You like to go out at night right? Like some freedom? Since you stick up for me at school, I think whenever you want to go out, call me. I'll accompany you and fight off any bad guys," • "Maybe I'll take you up on that," • You swipe your phone back after he’s texted you and pinch his cool cheek making a light blush appear • "Honestly though, please call whenever you want, I'm always awake at night because of the whole, yanno, vamp thing, and I'd like to-" • " Y/n, Jihoon!" • One of your close friends call, running across the road towards the two of you, cutting him off • You're on edge because like??? What would he like to do???? But your friend has good intentions as they join the two of you and happily chat, and you decide you'll just have to leave it a mystery • But from then on you two are honestly your own tiny squad • Jihoon becomes more open with you, more talkative at school and happier whenever you're near, sitting with his vampire friends but sometimes joining you as well • Because he's now more confident that this isn't just a one sided friendship, that he takes and you give, but he now knows he can help you as well and it lifts his non beating heart • And you're not, by nature, supposed to be a nocturnal animal but you swear you're turning into one • You always sleep as soon as you get home from school and spend your nights walking around at night with Jihoon, chatting and relishing in the silence of the darkness and the secrets the stars hold • Your secrets; you've told them how he makes your arms tingle and heart race and how you'd protect him with not only your voice, even though you know he probably doesn't need to be protected • (Ofc he does, even strong ass people need to be protected sometimes, y'all let yourself be soft) • But honestly you're so glad you snapped that day in the corridor • "Okay but what if you're totally evil after all and you're just lulling me into your lair?” • You question isn't invalid, Jihoon has your hand in his chilly one, but it's nice in the summer air, • It's pitch black, possibly 12 or 1 A.M, and Jihoon is leading you through a nearby park, you can feel shrubbery around you but you have no idea what's happening • "Do you honestly trust me so little?" • Jihoon's super speed surprises you all of the time, so when he suddenly wraps his arms around your shoulder and whispers to your ear when he was leading in front 0.28472 seconds ago you're definitely shook • He lowers his voice in an imitation to scare you but it only makes you crack up • You laugh and push forward, spinning around so he can see your face, even though you can't see him properly, only a faint white glow • You sense him sitting down, and he tugs your hand so you can join him, knees bumping together • "What can I say, I bet my blood taste great," • He chokes a laugh at that, which makes your head snap to where you know he is • "What are you laughing at? You think my blood taste bad? Are you insulting me Park Jihoon?" • Your mock offence makes him laugh again, and that sound is the only fuel you'll ever need again, you feel like you could live off it, the ring of this vampires laugh • "Quite the opposite, you don't know how tempting it is," • I mean this could make things awkward, but it's you and Jihoon, so you giggle and take it as a compliment, you know he'd never do something like that without permission • "Well maybe one day, Mr. Park, when you've fought off a gang of evil vampires and forgotten to drink your bag of animal blood for breakfast, I'll let you," • He hums at that and looks to the stars, and you take up tracing the dark veins that weave across his bare arms, wondering how it all works, how vampires work, how they live, how people live with such hate built in their hearts towards those who are different • "Why did you do it, that day? Why did you shout for me?" • You, in turn, hum at this, and send him a smile • "You obviously weren't going to, and I was sick of the meaningless hate you got," • You state your thoughts as they are, not altering them, you'd never had to alter them for your vampire friend, so why now • "You have no idea how hot that makes you," (smooth, fam) • Wow Jihoon has a talent for making you choke on your breath, because once again his straight forward words make you blush a deep ruby • It seems Jihoon wasn't going to change his thoughts for you either • "Pardon me?" • You raise your eyebrows at him with a smile, playing laid back even though you know he can hear your heartbeat speeding up • Like jeez wow you can't hide anything • "The way you didn't care; you didn't care and you still don’t. You don't care that people call you a rat, carrying a parasite, or whatever. You were brave, because you didn't like the inequality and the fact you think outside of the box and do whatever you can just to make me feel more...more included. Just how you stand for what you believe, that's pretty beautiful" • It isn't exactly poetry, and it doesn't get across how Jihoon feels to the extent he wants it to, but you understand the message, and that's all that matters honestly • "It's what you deserve, Jihoon," • His dark eyes stare at you then, closer than you remember • "You think? You think I deserve something so wonderful?" • "I know, silly, I don't only think," • He goes silent again at that, tracing patterns with his cold hands onto your palm • You can guess what he's thinking • All through his school life he's been told he was dirt and an inconvenience, an insect, (a stuck-up half witter scruffy-looking nerf-herder,) • So when someone finally tells him he's worth something? He deserves something good? • He's stumped, and you know he's trying to get his head around it • "Y/n, I'm trying not to kiss you right now," • Bitch okay he may be thinking that as well • "As long as you promise not to lose your head and try to drain me of my blood, then I think there's no reason in trying not to, if I'm being honest," • His eyes b u r n like shit that's intense okay • His spare hand, the one not constantly drawing patterns onto your arm, the same steady cold as they always had been, moves to rest on the back of your neck • It makes your hair stand up and goose-bumps to jump and run along your neck • "I can't say I can promise anything," • His voice is soft again before he presses his lips to yours, gentle as he always had been with you, and it makes your head spin wildly • Your hands jump up his spine in a dance of emotion and tangle into his dark hair • Jihoon is just lost in your warmth, the warmth of your heart and the warmth of your hands and lips • The two of you gaze at the sky later, making promises and telling truths you thought only the sky would ever know • You've never felt as if someone else could make you feel like one, whole, but with a cold hand encircling yours, your head resting on his soft stomach, no words have ever made more sense to you

[manifestoonmoralmanlove]

Long Exposure

OKAY I WROTE WAY TOO MUCH ON THIS BUT I GOT BIT BY THE RANT-BUG!

Also this came up much later than I intended because I realized I was being overly bitter and therefore rewrote a huge amount of this.

First and foremost I would just like to give a little disclaimer:

This is by far NOT the worst comic I’ve ever read and if you like it kudos to you.  Keep supporting it if you love it but ranting about how wrong I am is not going to change my mind.  I would also like to say that if you agree with me that this is not a great webcomic, do not harass the fans or the creator.  Write your own rant and we can bitch in the disque comments like the bitter fujo-bros we are.

SO HERE GOES!

Oh good god, this is a very frustrating level of comic for me.  It’s bad on several levels but it’s coherent and panders and rides clichés JUST ENOUGH to have a huge fanbase.  

Basically the author made a belligerent teenage meat-head, wanted them to bang a dude, any dude, and sketched the comic while Stranger things was on in the background so oops paranormal bullshit shows up once every 50 pages but has no bearing on anything ever.

So the story is as follows:

Mitch is a violent piece of shit but tragic past so it’s cool.  Jonas…has a dick so that’s good enough, therefore the two have to bang. Jonas’ step dad disapproves because homophobia.  There is also another bully in school for no plot relevant reason.  Things play out like stereotypical high school trash drama. (And I will admit my bias I’m really sick of high school trash dramas)

Look at this joke of a jealousy plot line! Where the woman is physically present in the comic for like 1 page, get slut-shamed, Jonas’ interest in her is so transparently thin it’s laughable it was even included, and this is pretty much forgotten about after seme has his token jealousy-induced pout.

Also we have, “NO FOSTER DADDY, I LOOOOOOVE HIM! IGNORE HOW 1 WEEK AGO I SHIT MYSELF AT THE THOUGHT HE’D COME BACK TO SCHOOL TO TORMENT ME! BUT OH NO TURNS OUT YOU’RE A PHYSICALLY ABUSIVE, HOMOPHOBIC 1-D VILLAIN LIKE ALL FOSTER DADS!”

They also get ridiculous over powered paranormal abilities which maybe part of a plot? Doesn’t look likely so far.

So let’s now do a deeper dive on this business:

Paranormal elements aka what paranormal elements?

The paranormal elements are a joke.  They got them day after they fell into a puddle by a mysterious facility.  Neither of them makes much of an attempt to hide their powers.  In fact nobody seems to really give a shit that they’ve got these life ending powers with no negative side effects from getting magical scientific water on their pants.  Writing Pro-Tip: We aren’t going to think it’s surprising or cool if nobody else reacts that way in the comic.

Mitch’s OVER power is telekinesis that can lift cars.  Jonas can make a shield or kinda slash at stuff with his but most of the time his powers are just glowing ribbons of energy to highlight how he’s being tsundere or a romantic moment.  The evil facility they got it from is now following them around and…out to get them? I guess? The lead characters care about this SO LITTLE, that it’s not until 200+ pages or so later, that Jonas googles what the facility was. (He made some random post on what looks like Reddit before this google search but again 2 panels, explains nothing.)  Not only did they wait that long the big reveal is that it’s called GAMMA HARDY HAR VERY ORIGINAL and that people have gone missing by it which we pretty much already know.   But the ad on Jonas’ phone is bigger and conveys more information than this essential plot information. 

WE GET IT! YOU DON’T CARE ABOUT THIS PLOT THREAD! WHY IS IT HERE!?

The cars are following them around but not enough effort is put in to make this even feel like it’s that weird no less scary or tense.  I think this is best summed up in the scene where Jonas reveals his powers to his sister. He spends about 1 page and a half talking about the powers and she reacts as if he got a bruise that looks a bit like a dog. There is one page where he explains he’s being stalked by these people which she has a slightly stronger reaction to, and then the next 3 pages which finish up the scene where they talk about Jonas having a crush on Mitch.  Which his sister reacts MUCH stronger too but like forgets she’s upset by it really fast and leaves off with a, “Guys are only after one thing!”  Which should be a joke cause HAHA YANNO Jonas is a man himself but no such luck. That’s treated like, “Poor little ukey, don’t give up your chastity to the first seme who bullies you.”  Way to make this comic feel as if it’s a queer love story and not some sad spank fodder for the lowest common denominator.  Oh wait damn, are we supposed to be scared of some shadow organization!? I don’t know how I got distracted from that.

It would be hilarious if this was some kinda parody. That a teenager is more worried about his crush feelings than the fact he may get abducted, tortured, and horribly killed by a bunch of murder scientists.  Pity it’s not!

Speaking of which…

Pace and focus problems aka I WANT THEM TO KISS! I JUST WANT THEM TO KISS! FUCK THE REST OF THE STORY! KISSY KISS KISS!!!!

One of the major problems in this story is that it only cares about building up Mitch and Jonas’ blooming relationship so everything else is pretty much forgotten and the pace suffers heavily from it because it’s so obvious the artist CANNOT WAIT until the two bang and it feels very rushed and juvenile for it.  It’s hard to go 2 pages in without some barely veiled hint that BOY OH BOY Mitch has the hots for Jonas.  There is no suspense that the two may not end up together because the author is so obnoxiously chomping on the bit for it.  And like listen, I get it, comics are a very time and energy intensive medium, and you’re doing it because of how much you just love the notion of these two together. It feels like such a drag to spend hours working on just some bullshit transition page when all you want to do is to draw them snuggling. I get the impulse, but you GOTTA rein it in if you want the story to have tension and be believable.

The story starts off with Jonas being deeply afraid of Mitch, and Mitch doesn’t exactly live it down. However by the end of the 1st day Jonas is unabashedly leading Mitch into a restricted part of the woods in the dead of night cause…..SCIENCE PROJECT???????  The science project is pretty much a SHRUG WHATEVER, IF IT GETS THEM TO INTERACT!  Even with this partnered science project in place there are like 80 reasons why Jonas would avoid this particular scenario since yanno it does sound pretty damn dangerous to do this with a guy he’s pretty sure wants to beat the tar out of him. What changes about Jonas’ perception of Mitch here? Well Mitch insults him a bunch and kinda sorta help him hide. And by hide, I mean pulls him to his strong chest for them sweet sexual tensions.  So really nothing should change from this interaction but...

From then on, Jonas just does whatever Mitch says and not under threat. Doesn’t matter that he was quite recently scared of and hates Mitch and he’s done nothing to really dissuade Jonas’ fears. This happens because he’s a puppet destined to fuck Mitch so he’s not allowed to make it even slightly difficult for them to bond….if you want to call it that.  Basically they’re bonding is Mitch being rude to Jonas and pressures him into breaking the law and despite yanno all the terrorizing Mitch has been doing, suddenly this is like sensual foreplay to him. 

The fact that Mitch and Jonas both get powers and are being stalked for it so they work together to figure it out would’ve been a good way to push them together.  Problem is when they get together they just like bond and flirt as if nothing really happened and don’t do jack shit to find out who’s behind all this.  Honestly neither of them seem very concerned.

Sure the 1st kiss doesn’t happen until page 200, but we started this couple off in a really deep hole.  If the two had met on neutral terms or had been friends I could probably see this bonding working and the pace as reasonable.  However that is definitely not the case here.  This is compounded by the fact that this couple is just poorly written, uninteresting, and fails to ~update~ the same shitty bully/victim BL narrative.

Relationship aka I can see where you’re coming from but try harder next time.

I will confess that my cup of tea is not the bully/nerd dynamic due to it’s typically exploitative nature. So I am coming into this bias.  This story does have a much less problematic, if stills stereotypical, take on it.  Nerd does one nice thing to the bully, bully is now obsessed with him, and years later torments the nerd cause that’s how bullys express affection.  The nerd just KINDA GIVES IN CAUSE IT’S EXCITING I GUESS?! At least in this version I can more readily see where Jonas would find these shenanigans as genuine, non-traumatic excitement.  Mitch introduces him to BREAKING LAWS! WOO!  Instead of the typical BL introduces him to UNWANTED SEX!  NOT WOO!

However I still feel as if it’s a bit of a stretch for both of them.  It makes more sense for Mitch to pursue a fellow bully who treats him half decently.  Mitch is bitter toward people whom he perceives as having a better life than him, and yet at the same time (perhaps this is me over-analyzing) should view himself as beneath these other people because he was called shit all his life so he doesn’t want to taint anybody else either.  So Jonas as a target of affection seems pushing it because his (initial view) of Jonas would lend Mitch to distancing himself out of anger at society and at himself.

As for Jonas? He seems more annoyed than charmed by many of Mitch’s antics. Also it seems like quite a big jump, not just realizing you’re attracted to the same gender but the individual you’re attracted to is...to put it nicely not exactly the most socially acceptable suitor. Jonas does openly say, “Yeah I’m not happy I’ve got this crush” but that’s pretty much as conflicted as he gets.  He doesn’t have to have a big GOSH AM I GAY OR NOT internal conflict but I feel as if it would be poor characterization if he doesn’t have an internal conflict about GOSH MY CRUSH IS ON AN EMOTIONALLY VOLATILE GOON! THAT MAY NOT BE THE BEST DOWN THE LINE!

I will say the fact that both Mitch and Jonas having less than stellar male father figures in their life could’ve been a much MUCH better way for the two of them to bond together.  However at the moment it seems more incidental than something the two of them have really talked out.  It wasn’t something like,

“I have a crappy dad!”

“Oh my gosh me too! It really sucks.  I wish I had somebody to give me guidance from a male perspective in this wild world that is teenage hood.  I don’t feel as if I can trust what I was original taught.” 

“Gosh me too!”

Instead the conversations feel more like two totally separate exposition dumps rather than something they have in common.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I can see the potential here but it just doesn’t make the grade.

Characters aka please believe the worst human being in this story is actually the best one.

You know that 1-d villain in every after school special?  That’s our seme!

Mitch is a textbook bully who physically harasses everybody he can which includes teachers and totally innocent peers.  Out of I would say the 4/5 people he’s shown to expressly pick on in school, only one of them is shown in text to be a bad guy.  And it’s absurd how, despite only being back in high school for like what a week, that he hasn’t already been suspended or expelled already.  Why?

Mitch is shown to pick on and threaten fellow innocent students who think about telling on him for the harassment they suffered. Mitch (on his 1st day back) threatens a teacher with violence, and just what…3 pages ago steals the same teacher’s keys.  This teacher has been shown as a good person and the only authority figure that is shown expressing concern for Jonas.  We also see him and his buddies kicking the snot out of somebody on the first day he’s back. A fight that’s 4 people vs. 1.

So Mitch isn’t some kinda modern day high school Samurai, who only beats on those who deserve it and fights fairly.  He’s just a piss-drinker.

Yet he hasn’t gotten punished for any of the above behavior and I haven’t even mentioned some of the worst things he’s done.  The worst one on school grounds was putting a knife to another bully’s throat.  That’s right, he brought a weapon to school, and threatened to kill another peer while on school grounds.  But? No punishment!  Simply having a weapon, even if not used against somebody, is more than enough for expulsion in the majority of American schools.  The kicker here being, there were witnesses, there is no reason why the person he threatened wouldn’t report it (in fact he seems the type to report tripping on someone’s foot as harassment), and due to Mitch’s reputation there would be no reason for anybody to disbelieve it either.

Mitch has a tragic past and comes from poverty.  I can kinda see how his law-breaking violent behavior is just how he was inadvertently taught to act from his shitty brother and step-father and he has a lot of anger in regards to abandonment.  The problem being here his bad behavior is not treated as bad.  It’s treated as 1 part hilarious, 1 part that other guy deserved it for doing something much less severe, and 1 part BAD BOYS ARE JUST SO HOT HNNNNNGH!  And I’m not saying this to shame anybody into bad boys, but Mitch genuinely treats a lot of helpless people real shitty but it’s framed as...well... those 3 things above.  What I’d like to see is Jonas confronts Mitch about how he treats the majority of his peers, and maybe Mitch realizes it’s not okay to frighten people on whims and confront WHY he does it.  But I will say I’m not exactly banking on that future since Jonas will just nod along to everything Mitch does with the only notable exception being stopping him from KILLING HIS FOSTER DAD!

Oh and there’s a not-so-subtle hint that Mitch maybe bulimic? But there’s literally 1 page of it and there hasn’t been a peep before or since? WHY IS IT THERE? ….my friend you can’t just throw mental illness on the table and forget about it.

I will say I was pleasantly surprised that Mitch treats Jonas with more respect and less abuse than a lot of bully semes do, and yet at the same time it doesn’t feel as if Mitch is behaving out of character around Jonas, rather that he just has a soft spot for him. But Mitch is still kinda a douche to Jonas to be honest.  While Mitch doesn’t hit Jonas but he takes glee in making Jonas feel unsafe and is just flat out rude to him in many other instances.  So while not abusive, it’s not enough for me to bridge a gap into giving a shit about him.

Have you ever seen a cardboard cutout?  That’s our uke!

I’m all about freckles, nerds, and pudgy characters in BL so you’d think this would be a slam dunk. Unfortunately there’s little to talk about when it comes to him.  He suffers from uke-doll syndrome and just does what it’ll take to get to that sex scene and nothing else.  There are MENTIONS of things he likes but like that’s all they are mentions.  Like someone refers to him as a band kid.  Do we even know what instrument he plays? NOPE! At one point Jonas liking to do photography is brought up, there is even some kind of implication that he feels bad he doesn’t photograph anymore.  However this is powered through in 3 panels and we can barely tell what Jonas even took pictures of to begin with.  If done properly we’d get a panel of what kind of photos he took.  If he used labor intensive techniques, took pictures of animals/people/scenery, a deceased family member, a specific place with meaning, or if he took pictures of a place he used to live.  There is a lot of subtle character building that can be done there but instead we get 1 awkward shrug because we gotta transition into the non-existent romantic tension.

I will mention one scene which could potentially be very interesting character building but TO BE HONEST I think I read it in a more interesting way than the creator intended. In a recent page a character brings up how Mitch is a nutcase and Jonas gets really defensive screaming that the whole school just DOESN’T UNDERSTAND HIM!  Which I think the author intended to be just that. 

However, if you factor in, just the previous night Mitch NEARLY MURDERS Jonas’ foster father and would have if Jonas hadn’t stopped him, there could be more to it.  Despite how much he hates his foster father, he doesn’t want him killed.  Jonas could be feeling really doubtful about having a crush on Mitch.  While there is a good side to Mitch he STILL IS REALLY UNHINGED AND DANGEROUS like everybody says.  So he becomes defensive when this is questioned, because he’s been worried about it himself.

But welp it’s most likely just U DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT A PRECIOUS SOUL THIS VIOLENT BAG OF DICKS IS ON THE INSIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDE!  Speaking of foster daddy…

Antagonists aka a homophobic puppet show put on by somebody who’s convinced saying the word fag is worse than stabbing someone to death.

The antagonists include a strict foster dad who’s concerned about his adopted son hanging out with somebody who’s been to juvie for trying to kill someone, does drugs, trespasses, causes massive property damage, brings knives to school, oh yeah and almost violently murdered the dad personally. WHAT AN ASSHOLE!  Haha just kidding!  Just kidding about him distrusting Mitch for being a violent criminal, he does do all of the above in the text of the story. The real reason why he hates Mitch is because he’s a filthy gay that’s turning Jonas into a filthy gay too.  Which like sure….have the foster dad character be a homophobe but like it makes negative sense why he would knee-jerk into being worried exclusively about gayness cause…

1.)    Daddy issues is a cop and Mitch is a legit criminal that is where they should OBVIOUSLY be at odds

2.)    Jonas appears to be bisexual but before Mitch he’s only expressed interest in women. So his dad logically should not be paranoid at this point that he raised some filthy gay, because there’s no history of it and he does not obviously present as such.

3.)    Mitch ALSO does not obviously present as gay.  He seems to be out to his friends (and only recently), but doesn’t appear to be out to the whole school and even if he was out to the whole school it would a stretch for random cop dad to know about it.

So the real reason that adopted dad knee-jerks into being worried about gayness is because it makes him more of an evil, bad, no-good 1-D villain.  This on some level makes sense, because it’s easier to hate somebody for mistrusting the gays rather than somebody mistrusting someone who is..haha well….untrustworthy.  Problem being the rest of the story acts as if Mitch is a hero for destroying cars, and trying to kill people, so it’s a moot fucking point anyway.

In between the homophobic jargon Foster Father expresses fear that Mitch is a bad influence. Probably for the gayness but the negative influence is pretty true in the text. Jonas trespasses, skips school, causes property damage, and does drugs because Mitch tells him to.  Sure he has a choice in the matter but he had none of these inclinations before and I think it’s likely might never have done this if Mitch hadn’t open the door as WIDE AS THESE PLOT HOLES.  So again, it’s hard to see him as the 1-D antagonist he’s painted because WELP the fears of him picking up bad behavior are technically true.

The other antagonist (who really is not necessary to this story at all) is Neil.  Who I’m guessing was put in to make Mitch look better but no joke he’s worse than Mitch because he’s verbally instead of physically abusive. That’s not true the real reason why he seems like a bad person and Mitch isn’t is because Neil comes from a family with money and uses slurs.  (Which to be honest I wouldn’t picture Mitch being ABOVE if he was pissed.)  Mitch does objectively MUCH WORSE SHIT that he GETS AWAY WITH and Neil makes a few homophobic and fatphobic comments, get humiliated in public, threatened with a knife, and has his car seriously damaged if not totaled.   Also Neil apparently forgets that his car was annihilated because when he sees the people he thinks are responsible he just goes back into making fat jokes.  The worst Neil does is punch somebody after getting kneed in the dick. The worst Mitch has done is seriously attempt to kill 2 people.

So like, that’s an obvious choice right?

Say something nice Faps:

Okay the art is nice. It has a good style, good character design, and it’s consistent. Sometimes backgrounds disappear for no reason but it’s not hugely jarring.  The colored powers are a cheap kinda trick but the use of them in water for that scene was genuinely very pretty.  However I will say as cool as the style is, it’s not really suited for the material.  Like the violence looks semi-comedic when that doesn’t appear to be the intention.  Also the fact that the characters don’t have lips make the almost and DO kiss scenes look just kinda…how to put it stupid?  Like it becomes readily apparent this style is tooney and not sensual/romantic at all cause flapping those two flat lines over each other is really unappealing and silly in my opinion.

Also I do appreciate how our male leads are not the conventionally attractive types.  In particular, I give big kudos out to Jonas being on the pudgier side, even if he’s not majorly, so the artist doesn’t GLOSS OVER that fact about him.

TL;DR

The reason why this story is popular is trying to be a less problematic version of the fetishy bully/victim romances you see in a lot of BL manga.  The big problems being a story hyper focused on the flaccid romance which gives it a poor pace and makes anything else, even plot relevant info, feel like a joke. Even when the story is progressing as it should it uses some big time cliches and doesn’t put in the energy for it work.  The characterization is better but leaves Jonas looking hollow and glamorizes the violent actions of a bully.

If you want a gay delinquent with a heart of gold story read Mr.Mini-Mart, Rutta and Kodama, Blue Sky Complex, and the Hydra series.

[exspirarchived]

really  LONG  CHARACTER  SURVEY.    RULES.  repost ,   don’t  reblog  !    tag  10  ! good  luck  !    TAGGED. stole it from God knows who.    TAGGING. @theplaguelord @l-promised-him @thesealovesme @leo-xor @shxmanisms @prcmaturedeath @crownofstormwind @blackenedfangs @motherswrath @renuntiatum @vxncleef

BASICS.

FULL  NAME :   Zoen Mith Menethil. NICKNAME :   Zoey, Isdiearore, Frost Wyrm, Queen, Wraith. TITLE :   Deathlord of the Ebon Blade (formerly a mere Knight); the Wraith; Lord Mith; Lady Menethil (which she does not like); Kingslayer; Kinslayer. AGE :   22 as of Legion. BIRTHDAY :   July 14. ETHNIC  GROUP :   Undead, formerly human of Lordaeron. NATIONALITY :    Alliance, Acherus, Undead Scourge. LANGUAGE / S :   Common, Eredun, the Language of Death. SEXUAL  ORIENTATION :   Asexual. ROMANTIC  ORIENTATION :   Painfully romantic, she wears her heart on her sleeve. RELATIONSHIP  STATUS :   ??? HOME  TOWN / AREA :   Capital City, Lordaeron. CURRENT  HOME :   Acherus: The Ebon Hold; an apartment overlooking the Stormwind Harbor. PROFESSION :  Deathlord of the Ebon Blade, adventurer, mercenary, thief, assassin, advisor, brawler.

PHYSICAL.

HAIR :   Short, white spikes that fall as a cascade of icicles, basically like L from Death Note except bleached. EYES :   Smoking, glowing, lichfire blue. (For those unfamiliar with WoW and death knight eyes, here is what they look like: here, here, here.) FACE :   Heart-shaped. LIPS :   Grey and somewhat thin for her face. COMPLEXION :   Not bad for someone who’s been dead for around five years.  BLEMISHES :   None that I’m not going to talk about below. SCARS :   Many, though her most noticeable and notorious would be the four long, deep, ragged lines that run down her left cheek, starting just shy of her ear and tapering off near her chin. Hidden beneath clothing, on her back, runs the scar of the wound that initially killed her, a deep cut that starts at her left shoulder and runs down to her right hip. TATTOOS :   Due to her desire to become stronger, Zoen and a few trusted individuals carved her up a lot with a bunch of experimental runic tattooing that supposedly augments her power over Shadow and Unholy. See here for a more in-depth talk about their placement and design. (Although it’s not much depth, mind.) HEIGHT :   6′4″ before you factor in her ridiculous hair. WEIGHT :   Unknown. While she is not exactly light considering her significant height and wiry musculature, she is neither exactly heavy.  BUILD :   Ectomorph, for sure. FEATURES :   Zoen has a very hungry, predatory look to her, which combined with the refinement of a royal heritage means that she has a somewhat feral majesty to her. High cheekbones, but gaunt cheeks; elegant hands covered in scars and callouses; soft hair chopped up into a ragged mess. The list goes on. ALLERGIES :   Holy water, the Light, sanctified silver, consecrated ground, love and happiness. USUAL  HAIR  STYLE :   Short, messy spikes that kind of just do their thing. See again: L from Death Note. USUAL  FACE  LOOK :   Mild disinterest.  USUAL  CLOTHING :   Always wearing a black longcoat unless stated otherwise, underneath which she may be wearing either a suit of saronite armor or dark, ragged clothing. In situations where she wouldn’t wear the coat or the armor, she’d probably angle for the Azerothian equivalent to tank tops and black pants, along with dark, heavy boots. (See also: the icon.)

PSYCHOLOGY.

FEAR / S :   Death knights know no fear except the fear of a final death, of appearing weak, of Arthas, of being caged, of giving in to the monster, of becoming the Lich Queen, of losing the people she loves. ASPIRATION / S :   To defeat the Legion, currently. Also not fuck up her job of leading the Ebon Blade.  POSITIVE  TRAITS :   Humorous, witty, loyal(ish), intelligent, curious, generally tries to be a good person. NEGATIVE  TRAITS :   Violent, sadistic, murderous, short-tempered, prejudicial, kinda racist, self-loathing, misanthropic, cannibalistic, devious, deceptive, forgetful, disloyal(ish), unkind, sarcastic, snarky, cruel, not always successful at trying to be a good person. MBTI :    ISTP-T - The Virtuoso. ZODIAC :   Cancer. TEMPEREMENT :   Choleric. (how???) SOUL  TYPE / S :   The Hunter. ANIMALS :   Weasel, crocodile, wolf. VICE  HABIT / S :   Murder. FAITH :   No idea. GHOSTS ? :   Yes. AFTERLIFE ? :   Yes. REINCARNATION ? :   Yes. ALIENS ? :   Yes. POLITICAL  ALIGNMENT :   Knights of the Ebon Blade. EDUCATION  LEVEL :   While Zoen had an educating befitting a noble whilst she lived in Lordaeron, her subsequent fall into poverty meant that formal education became a pipe dream. As a result, she educated herself via reading everything she could get her hands on, furtively attending lectures, and eavesdropping on smart people talking whenever she could. As a result, she’s fairly knowledgeable if rather eclectic.

FAMILY.

FATHER :   Arthas Menethil. MOTHER :   Jaina Proudmoore. SIBLINGS :   None. CHILDREN :   None, although Tiris is basically her floofy wolf son. EXTENDED  FAMILY :   Calia Menethil (paternal aunt). Derek Proudmoore (maternal uncle). NAME  MEANING / S :   Zoen comes from the Greek name Zoë, which means “life” while Mith is obviously just a misspelling of “myth.” So her name is basically just me saying that she isn’t real, among other things. HISTORICAL  CONNECTION ? :   I don’t really understand this question.

FAVORITES.

BOOK :   Changes often. Currently The Emperor’s Burden. MOVIE :   n/a. Do not exist yet. 5  SONGS :     Unfortunately, Azeroth doesn’t exactly have any in-game tracks. (The jukebox and audiobox tunes don’t count.) So I’ve no idea, but there’d probably be a motley of classical pieces and loud rock music. DEITY :   She no longer actively worships anyone or thing, though she still holds a strange place in her heart for the Light.  HOLIDAY :   Midsummer Fire Festival. MONTH :   January. SEASON :   Winter. PLACE :   Crystalsong Forest. WEATHER :   Raging blizzard, heavy rain. SOUND :   Loud, classical music that drowns out the silence in her head. SCENT / S :   Blood freshly spilled; a garden of flowers; winter in the far north; the spices of a Pandaren marketplace.    TASTE / S :   Plague. FEEL / S :   Tiris’ fur carded through her fingers. ANIMAL / S :   Wolves, birds of prey, foxes. NUMBER :   n/a. COLORS :   Blue, black, white, grey, purple. 

EXTRA.

TALENTS :   Singing, swordplay, bladework, piano, lying. BAD  AT :   Chess, dancing, cooking, drawing, morality, apologizing, feeling, gardening, remembering. TURN  ONS :   Good first impression; not being a paladin; height; being a pretty, pretty elf. TURN  OFFS :   Bad first impression; being a paladin; being Gilnean; being Forsaken. HOBBIES :   Reading, playing piano, singing, taking care of Tiris, making and keeping friends. TROPES :    A lot. QUOTES :   “Bastards can’t inherit their fathers’ names, much less their crowns.” ; “I’m the wolf in the woods, darling, and I never let little rats like you escape from me.” ; “You’re just a frightened little boy trying to smash the playset before the other kids can come and play with it. You’re a bit late, love. Void’s here, and it answers to me.” ; “I’m an adult. I pay rent.” 

FC INFO.

MAIN  FC / S : Rose McIver in her role as Live Moore despite being around eleven years older than Zoen and not actually looking like her at all. ALT  FC / S : Thinking about branching out to include Riley Blue from Sense8. OLDER  FC / S :   n/a. YOUNGER  FC / S :   n/a. VOICE  CLAIM / S :   She’s kind of in the realm of Halsey and Florence Welch and Eva Green, while being only seventeen and having the weird death knight sepulchral echo voice effects going on.  GENDERBENT  FC / S :   n/a.

MUN QUESTIONS.

Q1 :   if  you  could  write  your  character  your  way  in  their  own  movie ,   what  would  it  be  called ,  what  style  would  it  be  filmed  in ,  and  what  would  it  be  about ?          

     Blood in the Ice, probably, and it’d likely be mostly about her existence postmortem. More specifically, some of the goings-on during Wrath of the Lich King, when she was still young and raw and primal. The major plot would likely just be her coming to terms with her undeath and her freedom from the Lich King, and how she adjusts to existing among the living, despite their distaste for her and her hunger for them. Plus, yanno, the whole “Daddy’s a monster” thing.

Q2 :   what  would  their  soundtrack / score  sound  like ?          

     I have absolutely no idea. Dark, for sure, a little melancholic, but also with some fast and sharp pieces during fight scenes or when she starts snapping and yelling and killing people.

Q3 :   why  did  you  start  writing  this  character ?

     Y’all know how we all have that Mary Sue character when we’re like, twelve-ish, and looking back at her we kind of cringe and think “What was I thinking, man, that character was just awful.”

     Yeah. That’s Zoen.

Q4 :   what  first  attracted  you  to  this  character ?          

     I was like, twelve. I stopped writing her when I was thirteen, then came back to her when I was... I think sixteen-ish? Don’t really know why I started up again, don’t really know why I’ve stuck to her so much.

Q5 :   describe  the  biggest  thing  you  dislike  about  your  muse.        

     I mean, she’s my character, so I have a lot of things that I’m pretty insecure about regarding her, but if we’re going to go into actual dislike, it may be that she’s slowly starting to embrace her monstrosity. Like, being undead does not equal being a bad person, but Zoen is irrefutably a bad person, and the fact of the matter is, she isn’t really trying all that hard not to be. Plus, she’s prejudicial as hell and that’s just... not... cool, bro. It really isn’t.

Q6 :   what  do  you  have  in  common  with  your  muse ?          

     Uh, not much, really. I, too, have weird-ass anime hair, though I actually use fucking hairspray to achieve this. We both think canines are cool.

Q7 :   how  does  your  muse  feel  about  you ?          

     Have you seen the hell I’ve made her life and unlife? The girl would vivisect me if she could.

Q8 :   what  characters  does  your  muse  have  interesting  interactions  with ?        

     Myrundiel Mourningale, Donquixote Doflamingo, Portgas D. Ace, Maveric Unelanvhi, Anduin Wrynn, Varian Wrynn, Jaina Proudmoore, Darth Vader, Luke Skywalker. 

Q9 :   what  gives  you  inspiration  to  write  your  muse ?        

     Music, a lot of the time. 

Q10 :   how  long  did  this  take  you  to  complete ?        

     I don’t even know, mate. Too long, for sure.