#also i think those two work better as adult allies

[pixiatn]

Praying Seth brings back other human allies the turtles have in the future sequel and tv series cause I'll actually die if it's just Casey and April for the 10 billionth time🙏🏽

[max1461]

Ok, here's the hill I'm gonna die on: I hate the concept of "chores". I hate it both in the context of parenting, and in the context of romantic relationships. A "chore" is something that you do because you were made to do it by an authority figure. Nobody likes that, and rightly so. But, living in an imperfect world as we do, there are various tasks that need doing. And when we care about each other, helping with these tasks and seeking help with these tasks are some of the most significant things we can do to show it. I think all our thinking around "chores" should flow from that.

Like, if you are a parent, bringing your kids in to help with the Very Important Tasks that the grow-ups do can be presented like an offer, not a command. The kid gets to help! They get to participate! They get to be needed! That feels good, and teaches them skills they'll need when fending for themselves later in life. It's not a chore that you must do, it's "come help mommy and/or daddy with this Important Grown-up Business". In my experience, most kids like that kind of opportunity. And not only does this give them practice helping others, it also teaches them that it's ok to ask for help, and that tasks are things which are often best approached as a team.

Yes, probably kids are still sometimes not going to want to participate. To me this is a heartening thing, however inconvenient it may be in the moment—I like when kids feel the strength to advocate for their own desires—but, you know, sometimes tasks still need to be done, so handle this how you will. But just not presenting things as "chores" from the get-go is I think a good place to start.

As for "chores" in relationships... I do get how, ya know, if a relationship partner says "you need to start doing more chores around here" or something, that could feel bad. Because, it's like, they're framing themselves as an authority figure who gets to assign chores; that would feel bad to anybody! But at the same time it's like, ok—life is full of tasks that need doing, as mentioned above. And if you love and care about someone, if you claim to have their back, shouldn't you want to help ease the load of all those fucking tasks they're burdened with? Isn't that a big part of what caring for someone is all about?

Relationships require labor, and figuring out how to set up an equitable distribution of labor in a relationship can be a genuinely hard problem. Especially if one or both partners are disabled, and things like that. I can't tell you how to do that for you and your situation. But I think a good place to start from is both partners thinking of it like "I care about you, so I want to help you with all these tasks, I want to help make your life easier". Not as, you know, "these are all the chores I/they have to do". That's why it's actually important for both partners to put in their fair share of labor in a relationship. Not because either is an authority figure who has the ability to assign "chores" to the other, but because when two (or more) adults have decided to live together and be committed to each other and face life together, they should be working to make each other's lives better and not worse, taking care of each other, and cooperating to fight The Tasks together is generally a pretty fundamental part of that.

And if your partner isn't helping you with The Tasks, it's not that they're a disobedient child who won't do chores, it's that they're an adult who's meant to be your ally in life but who isn't living up to all the responsibilities of that role, isn't helping take care of the things that need doing. And that's not a fair or compassionate way to treat someone that you're supposed to be a partner to.

Idk if any of that makes sense. I just don't like the concept of "chores" ok. We're all oppressed by The Tasks and helping each other with The Tasks is one of the most important ways we reach out, connect, show love and affection, and express our responsibilities and commitments to each other. I just don't think there's ever a case where it's good to frame it as "chores".

[coraniaid]

Faith for the character ask game!

General opinion/how much I care about them: I think I like Faith an average, normal amount.  This … probably says a lot about the people I follow on Tumblr and subconsciously use as a yardstick for what counts as normal.  I wrote a quarter of a million words of fanfiction about her.  She’s an idiot and a loser and a killer and she hurt everyone who ever tried to care about her until they stopped and she never did anything wrong.  (And she only appears in twenty six episodes).

A ship I love: You know, I really think S7 Faith/Willow has a lot of untapped potential as a ship.  Two women who had a pretty contentious and antagonistic relationship when they were teenagers based on mutual jealousy and (barely) suppressed feelings of inadequacy.  Meeting again as allies a few years later, after they’ve both dabbled with a bit of murder and both tried bringing about an apocalypse, both now looking to make amends and seek repentance. One convinced that she’s lost the only person who could ever love her, one convinced she’s simply always been unloveable.  It’s … oh, okay, I’m lying, it’s Buffy/Faith obviously. What else could it be?  (And as much as I’d like to claim this was some deep formative childhood experience, the truth is that I only really started thinking about this ship or being particularly interested in Faith as a character a few years ago, when I rewatched the show during the first few months of the pandemic.)

A non-romantic relationship that I love: it’s certainly not a good or praiseworthy relationship – very few relationships based on offering people Playstations in exchange for committing murder are – but I really like the dynamic of Faith and the Mayor. It’s something that I think really elevates both characters: it makes the Mayor seem more human and makes him a much more interesting villain, and it makes Faith’s fall feel more tragic (because it highlights how much she does want somebody in her life in that parental/Watcher role, however much she lied about it earlier, and because … look, how fucked up is it that this is possibly the healthiest relationship with an adult man Faith has ever had in her life to this point?).

Also (cheating) I really like the little scraps we get of Faith and Joyce.

The NOTP: I curate my internet experience well enough that I don’t think I really see people ship Faith with anybody but Buffy and (very occasionally) Willow.  So … uh, I guess anybody except those two?  Really, I just think that being obsessed by / wanting to be / being in love with Buffy is such a large part of Faith as a person that any non-Buffy ship she’s in really has to acknowledge that up front.

My biggest headcanon about them: Not sure this is headcanon as such – although occasionally I see meta or fanfic claiming otherwise, so I’m counting it – but one thing I’m pretty sure about is that the Mayor genuinely did care about Faith (as much as he was able to), and he didn’t deliberately set her up or try to get her killed.  The way he reacts to finding her wrecked apartment in Graduation Day (telling himself over and over again that Faith’s going to be alright, shouting at his minions when they suggest focusing on the ascension instead of looking for her), and the way he behaves later at the hospital (abandoning his wholesome image and swearing at and trying to kill Buffy because “did you see what she did to my Faith?”) make that pretty clear, I think.  He can’t be doing any of that to try to fool Faith. Indeed, that’s the whole point of the “human weakness” dream later – Buffy’s plan to make the Mayor angry only works because he did and still does care about Faith.

An idea for a fanfiction I would like to write/read about them: I think the world would be a measurably better place if there were more fanfics in which Faith came back to Sunnydale sometime in Season 5.  It feels like this is a year in the show that largely gets ignored by the fandom in this respect, especially compared to the number of fics that expand Faith’s role in Season 7 or have her arrive back in Sunnydale at the start of Season 6.

Something that makes me think of them: There are whole days of my life when I don’t think about Faith Lehane at all.  Honest.  I’m sure there are.  There must be.

[unclevladscorner]

Letting Go of The Boy Who Lived: Moving on from Harry Potter and Why I wish everyone else would, too.

This is going to be a little bit of a long post. We all know JKR has said- and still says- some pretty horrible things about trans people. While I think that's a good enough reason to no interact with her or her work, that's not my main focus here.

If you don't read this whole thing; and haven't read a Harry Potter book or watched a movie, I'd say don't start. There's better out there. The Magicians goes harder, but has similar themes. There's also A Series of Unfortunate Events and the Percy Jackson books, if your looking for a longer YA series from around the same era.

I discovered Harry Potter at a time of big changes in life. It was the end of my senior year of high school, I'd broken up with an abusive boyfriend and I had nowhere to go on my lunch break anymore.

It was also 2002, and only 8 months after 9/11. The world was changing rapidly around me-literally and figuratively- and I needed a little escape. Before I even graduated, I had read the first three books and I was desperate to read the fourth.

There was a lot to like, at first. As a child who grew up in an abusive and neglectful household, I related to Harry's struggles a lot. The desire to just be a normal kid was something he valued much more than anything else, and being a kid who went to a wizard school was just a fun bonus for him. Harry was just a normal kid besides- he is able to come out of his shell and; for the first time in his life, he is able to enjoy his time at school as he is not really considered strange... except for the fact that he's the Boy Who Lived.

As the books go on, the world were given a peek into begins to lose it's shine. There's chattel slavery of humanoid races pretty early with the house elves, then there's the extremist Pure Blood wizards- many of which follow Voldemort- who'd intimidate, harm and kill children to keep them from receiving and education and mixing with the general wizard population.

As Voldemort is resurrected, things become difficult for our heroes, and fascist wizards take over the Ministry of Magic. Other wizards seems oddly content to either live like nothing is happening, or hide until their Chosen One saves them. Adults become unreliable to a fault; and with herculean effort, Harry and the gang finally defeat the evil Voldemort.

But then... nothing really happens. The world goes right back to the way it was- none of our heroes seem to seek any more justice or reform for any of those they saw hurt or abused once their journey is concluded. Everyone falls into their respective places within society and never seem to question the status quo again.

This course of events says two things to me- That JKR believes Social Justice to be a 'young person thing', and that she probably believes that grassroots efforts cannot effect lasting systemic change.

So, what else is there to do except to get on with it?

There's also the pervasive nihilism that grows stronger as the series goes on. Former allies fall in line with the ruling party; begrudgingly or otherwise, abandoning the young people to their fate. Many witches and wizards won't pick a side, and either pretend nothing is happening or go into hiding. There are only a handful of people willing to fight and many of these rebels are brutally killed or imprisoned.

Defeating Voldemort also does not change the structure of wizard society. It does not change that sentient magical humanoids and those born to magical families without powers are forced into a subclass by the rest of magic wielding society. It doesn't seem to change the fact that there are wizards who believe they should control the whole world, and not just the fates and lives of those within the wizarding community.

As I've gotten older and queerer; and JKR has gotten richer and louder, it's made a body of work riddled with covert and overt racism, homophobia, and weirdly pro-slavery bend harder and harder to like.

At the end of the day, there is just no good reason to invest my money in something that inevitably tells kids and young adults to fall in line after their done protesting and questioning authority.

All done with your fun little Social Justice Adventure? Time to be a Real Adult and stop asking questions!

As a queer and transgender person- literal heroes of my time died fighting intentional misinformation, and purposeful governmental mismanagement of the AIDS pandemic (Big Shout out to Ronald Reagan! The Real Villain of our timeline.) They marched while sick, made art, held 'die ins' in churches and government buildings, sued the government, gathered and distributed reliable information on how to combat AIDS through safer sex and safer drug use practices.

There are too many to list here. Many names no one outside the community has even heard. Many more we don't even know. A made up little boy in a book just isn't as important to me as those often nameless people- people who literally fought and died so that I could be The (Trans)Boy Who Lived.

I will not disrespect the memories of those who came before me by putting money in the pocket of someone who actively hates both them and myself. I will not spend any more time thinking about her or the sad little world she's created.

I'm asking you to do the same.

[livefreeforfun]

Saiyan Duality - A SSG and SS4 Comparison

I don’t think anyone would argue that one of the most recognizable aspects of the Dragon Ball franchise is the transformations the characters tend to undergo. From an old hermit bulking up to an absurd degree to the legendary Super Saiyan, the franchise has its fair share of power ups, but the users of many of these iconic forms usually fall under one category of people - the aforementioned Saiyans.

The Saiyans, across all forms of Dragon Ball media, have over a dozen different transformations, each one becoming more and more powerful than the last. From the simple Great Ape to the lengthily named Super Saiyan God Super Saiyan Controlled Berserk (I wish I was making that up), the repertoire of Saiyan forms is immense, but I constantly see two of these forms being compared: Super Saiyan 4 and Super Saiyan God.

Both forms are very iconic, with Super Saiyan 4 being a GT trademark and Super Saiyan God being the first of many new transformations we see in Dragon Ball Super. I’ve seen a multitude of debates online trying to prove that one of these forms is better than the other, so I wanted to throw my hat into the ring and give my take: while I have a personal preference for God, both forms are absolutely incredible at what they attempt to portray in those who use the form, and I’m gonna go a little in depth as to why.

Starting the Super Saiyan 4 section with a little bit of background info, the older of the two forms made its debut in GT during the fight against Baby. To access the form, a Saiyan needs to both have a tail and already be able to transform into a Super Saiyan. They must transform into a Great Ape, turn Super Saiyan on top of that to become a Golden Great Ape, and then control that state to obtain Super Saiyan 4.

Super Saiyan 4 is remarkably different from the previous Super Saiyan forms, sporting no golden hair and instead keeping it back and having it grow far longer and having it cover the user’s shoulders, though it’s worth noting that Super Saiyan 3’s hairstyle is much longer. To make it more visually distinct, the user’s body is also covered in red fur save for parts of their chest, with their tail also turning red and gaining a red trim around their eyes. Curiously, Goku is also turned into an adult when he accesses this transformation, which is explained as a unique property of this form: any user of the transformation has their body reverted (or propelled into) its prime, meaning they will always appear as a young adult. Lastly, different users of SS4 have slightly different looking versions of the form. For instance, Goku’s version of the form has a shade of red fur that has a slight pink hue to it while Vegeta’s fur is crimson, and Goku has yellow eyes while Vegeta has blue eyes.

Now that the backstory and design of SS4 has been talked about, it’s time to talk a little bit about SSG. Super Saiyan God is a legend closely related to the legend of the Super Saiyan that Frieza feared. The legend involves the Saiyan Yamoshi and his five pure hearted allies battling against the evil hearted Saiyans. Yamoshi actually obtains Super Saiyan, but still loses the battle and his life, and now his spirit wanders through Universe 7 trying to find the Super Saiyan God.

There are only a couple ways for a Saiyan to obtain Super Saiyan God. The first method is a ritual, in which five other pure hearted Saiyans give their power to a sixth, transforming the sixth into the Super Saiyan God. As a side note, this ritual only works because of the wandering spirit of Yamoshi, making it a Universe 7 exclusive phenomenon. The other way for a Saiyan to obtain SSG is to train with god ki, which can typically only be done by training with someone who already possesses godly ki, such as Gods of Destruction.

Super Saiyan God, as a transformation, actually looks quite simple compared to other Super Saiyan forms. The user’s hair and eyes turn red, they become slimmer and even look a little younger, and their aura looks like fire. Super Saiyan God, similarly to SS4, also seems to give different users of the forms slightly different shades of red, though it’s not nearly as apparent as it is for SS4.

When putting the two forms next to each other, it can be hard to find similarities between them. Both feature some kind of red hair but outside of that, noticeable similarities are sparse, and I think that’s the point. Both forms have to portray entirely separate ideas: the wild nature of the Saiyans and the calmer demeanor of the Gods, and they portray these ideas incredibly well in my eyes. While I do have more of a preference for SSG like I said earlier, it’s not hard to see why so many fans of Dragon Ball are allured by the primal look of SS4.

Ultimately though, if you ask me, trying to compare the two to try and prove that one is objectively better is just a waste of time. It feels like God was designed to be the other side of the same coin as SS4, the heads to its tails. Both designs have their strengths and their weaknesses, so at the end of the day, whichever form is “superior” will always be up to viewer interpretation and nothing more.

[voiddemon]

damn girl im for real gonna have to just. make a voiddemon 'here's why everything is this way and here's my bullshit' post. anyway here's every au ever made by MY ASS explained poorly

older orbs: everyone is older, maybe by like 10/20 years. sometimes when i post under older orbs it's like between them being proper adults and them transitioning into being adults. mostly do this with my gay shit because it's fun for me. :) This thing is very very old and has changed a lot as my headcanons have

streamer au: joke au where everyone streams and like every game is just a crazy livestream. most of the time it means the games actually happen and it's livestreamed, but also they just livestream on the side. idk it was fun to draw and think about

LM au: little mermaid skirfluff i've written like. a lot for this shockingly. i lied actually it was only 7k ish words but i've drawn a LOT for it. the whole thing is a lot. go through the lm au tag if you're really interested but tldr mermaids, homosexuals, shadow kirby makes one really stupid decision and it pays the fuck off, dmk is homophobic and got a divorce, prince fluff goes through way too much for a happy ending for real. yin and yarn go through a lot too but they're ultimately good guys. also kin-yarn is canon and somewhat plot relevant, as during the climax they figure out what skirby really is since KINE fuck you. hate and war.

FLIPPEd LM au: very different and not explored super in depth. it's not actually based off the little mermaid really. just makes prince fluff a mermaid who is really homosexual and shadow kirby some guy. yin and yarn are bad guys in this one, since fluff leaves them in charge of everything while he turns himself human to convince skirby to be homogay with him. they then take over but things get better.

western: it's this whole thing and one of those big aus that basically change the whole story and it's like go write a book but no i don't. i haven't posted about it enough to talk about it actually. tldr the mirror world is a physical place, and the mirror worlders start essentially a tiny war with their counterparts. dmk steals galaxia and then gets chased into the fairy lands (k64 land, which hasn't really happened yet), shadow kirby takes a lot of L's then wow what a surprise prince fluff is here, shadow dedede gets his house blown up because dmk and skirby blew up Chateau Dedede (to get galaxia).

anime skirby: Shadow kirby either voluntarily or involuntarily is sent to the animeverse during star allies and grows as a person. he and anime kirby bond and have a cute adoptive brother thing going on and it's the best part of the whole thing. skirby being sent there ultimately puts the world in danger because of how nightmare from the anime works but it all turns out okay in the end'

the unnamed au in which KATAM is delayed until after star allies, but around the time when KATAM should have happened dark mind still appears and takes full control of the mirror world: read the title. uhhh shadow kirby got split into 4 different dudes, shadow dedede is possessed forever and is reduced to a mindless pawn to keep all four of them in check, dark meta knight is girlbossing and thriving and driven by his own ego. the mirror worlders kidnap meta knight to provoke everyone and also for the lols. everyone gets their ass thoroughly kicked. all of the star allies go home happy. prince fluff is a star ally in dmk's place which really isn't relevant but i think it's fun.

evil prince fluff aus: this has so many like offshoots but the main two are: he's gay and evil AND he's just evil. in the gay ones he's usually snapped and lost his shit and decided if he can't be homosexual he's just going to take over the world. in the non-gay ones he's probably possessed by one of the uhh jamba heart things that showed up during star allies. usually yin-yarn is involved regardless of the variant, and he eggs fluff on and works with him (planning to just take over and use him as a puppet eventually)

nightmare scenario: the most out there shit ever actually. nightmare has feelings and is more of a person beyond being a being that only exists to cause nightmares and be bad and stinky and evil. he finds patchland and sets up camp there since it has a dream fountain hidden away from everyone on that planet, and dreamland is close enough on a planetary level that he can hop to the dream fountain there. he creates prince fluff for fun and accidentally brings him to life by dropping him in the dream fountain. Nightmare proceeds to have a custody battle with some fucking guy, he then goes off to be evil and is killed by kirby, then everything else happens as normal and Prince Fluff generally grows up to be haunted by who his father is. nightmare is actually for real dead so over time the universe is shifting the burden of existing as a manifestation of nightmares onto him, which sucks because he's trying to be a good person despite his instincts to do crime. for gay purposes this makes everything SUPER FUCKING COMPLICATED. also prince fluff is hiding who made him from everyone and acting like he doesn't know.

kin-yarn tnt wizards: tjhey have sex on poinjt beta

there's more but like those are the ones i remember/have revealed to the world. you have no idea how much gay shit i have inside my silly brain.

[inklingofadream]

Jonah ask anon again: thank you for your responses and for being so open to questions! Jonah is just such an uncomfortable vibe, I love your take on him. I assume Jon doesn't know about Jonah's working hypothesis yet; I imagine he'd be horrified. Last question: I assume all the other temple leaders have met Jon several times now considering Jonah's recent insensitive anniversary party. Has anyone tried to get Jonah to send Jon on tour?

Thanks, it's fun to have people engage! 💗Jon hardcore does not know what Jonah's thinking. Jon is thinking in terms of "this is the rest of my life" and that life will probably be long! Lotta resources to keep him alive and healthy-ish through any and all cancer/autoimmune disorder manifesting/dementia isn't actually on the list Beholding would Not allow it/horrible accident/Artefact Storage incident/etc! He's anticipating along the lines of 80, 90, maybe just past 100. A fair bit past the general UK life expectancy. If Jonah is right- the Eye is convinced that it's preferable to be proactive here lol- it's more along the lines of 500. Better hope that Extinction doesn't manifest catastrophically...

The Usher Foundation and Pu Songling Research Centre have both pitched this like. CONSTANTLY. To Jon, to Jonah, to Michael and Gerry, literally any point of contact they have is like 💗Jon can come visit us any time 😊he's always welcome 🥰wouldn't it be great if he came to broaden his horizons💗

It's mixed success, largely because Jon does have people there who he actually talks/writes to willingly, and he's a bit anxious about the idea. He lives here... when JONAH was in charge of where he ended up he got torn away from his home... what guarantee does he have that no one will try to keep him if he visits? Much as he'd love to see the Stokers, also, if he's out of Jonah's immediate supervision he (fairly accurately) suspects that Jonah would spend the Whole Time watching him, so would he even be able to hang with them? Unknown. But they have the best chance if Jon DOES ever feel like traveling given the relationships there.

Everyone else... The two immediately allied with the Institute are mostly fine, and the tone is "we'd love a visit!!1!!" But everyone else is Super passive aggressive about it. He's too skinny don't you feed him? That crown is not fancy enough what are you doing?! He'd benefit SO much from a bit of sunshine, he should come to our place it's sunny! etc etc

And Jonah is passive aggressive back. It's mentioned that some of the delegates are a bit handsy. Jonah does not care about this in the moment. He doesn't WANT Jon to like these people, so sexual harassment is like. whatever. Jonah cares IMMENSELY once everyone's gone home and the next time they say Jon should visit it's all about how they made Jon sooooooo uncomfortable, they don't understand what he Needs, don't they know he's DELICATE??? So while both avenues come up fairly frequently, for the moment nothing's likely to come of it

(also, for birdverse, Someday i will finish my Epic Honeymoon fic. bc they had their nice quiet honeymoon, but maybe they should visit other places! But if it's just Jon and Martin something could happen... final passenger list: Jon, Martin, Tim, Danny, Gerry, Michael, Sasha, Georgie, Melanie... possibly someone like Lesere to be the Emergency Adultier Adult, or Quincy and/or Xiaoling joining as they visit them, so there's extra Institute-aligned people to keep anyone from Keeping them. If I finish it it'll probably be little bitty snapshots of each location and STILL be mega long. Everywhere wants Jon to see both the Eye stuff and the general tourist stuff. There's definitely a point where they rent the biggest RV you've ever seen in your life and road trip to as many National Parks as possible bc 1) no fraught avatar interactions and 2) even in a verse where Tim and Danny aren't banished, those boys love them some outdoor recreation. Possibly Trevor and Julia show up to be weird for a bit, idk. I say honeymoon, but I more mean gap year. Possibly 2. Decent chance it takes place a While after the wedding, when those of them with Actual Jobs are kinda feeling like it's time to move on, so they can just resign bc it is just never going to be a thing they can take a bit of PTO and return after. Maybe What the Ghost? spends a bit as a feed highlighting smaller creators. Maybe they do a bunch of on the road episodes. Lotta haunted places you can see as a tourist)

[eccentrickleptomaniac]

pls if you have the time, can you share your Germany headcanons?

Germany himself isn't really Germany- he's a partial-mergecon fusion of East and West Germany. "Essen what does that mean" basically their consciousnesses aren't exactly fused completely but they can't exactly unfuse either lol. The fusion lore is something for another day.

To like, everyone, he's known as a very professional person. He almost never drops the front, acting briefly and quickly with everyone from acquaintances to family. Ironically, none of his direct family is currently alive. While yes, he is, well, friendly, it's all very tolling and when he does finally let his guard down it's almost always because he's experiencing burnout, in which he won't leave his house for days at a time. Still, it doesn't deter him from being the hardest worker in the EU.

While his technical father is.. uh.. yknow who, he doesn't really consider him his parent. Due to the odd circumstances of his creation, (long story short he, along with his father, are parasites. they killed their hosts upon exiting their bodies. tr's was weimar, eg and wgs was allied occupied germany. yes i believe they're just twins and were not born as one. "essen how is tr their father if he died before they were-" tarantula hawk wasp situation.) he never actually met his father. Because of this, all people he considers parents were adopted. Those being, from EG's side, Poland and maybe the USSR, while on WG's side it was France and the UK. Nowadays, due to him being an adult at this point, he considers them more friends as opposed to adoptive parents.

I consider the Cold War more of a time where EG and WG were growing up as opposed to being full-grown adults. The two had basically no idea what was going on because of it, and were mostly just fed information by their parents that they, well, believed. I believe that until WG's attempts at repairing their relations, both sides of the wall had a mutual intense hatred for the other. There was also nothing stopping them from actually talking at any point: no physical barrier put in or any strict rules from the parents. Sure, literally neither side liked them talking to eachother: in the beginning France and especially the UK hated the idea of them fusing and the USSR, well, uh, was the USSR. But neither side was actually stopping them from talking to eachother.

I'll talk about them seperately now, starting with EG because I like her more.

EG was very, very quiet growing up. She was known among the Warsaw Pact for her ability to observe and find small details, as well as her bluntness. She would not speak up during dinner arguments unless she had something important to say. Along with this, she was a very dedicated person. Once she had her mind on something, it was very hard to get her to stop. She especially loved machinery and computers. It wasn't uncommon to see her desk cluttered with random metal parts from a contraption she'd been building earlier. She was also very athletic, but that goes for like, the entire German bloodline. However, unlike most of her ancestors, she was also a very nonviolent person. Like, extremely nonviolent. Like, if she was being physically assaulted she would not fight back nonviolent. It's led to.. a lot of things, probably the most prominent being her half blinded eye caused by shrapnel during the East Berlin riots of '53. Albiet, that wasn't really any countries fault.. A better example would be the scar right above that eye. Yeah, that one was caused by her (adopted) father. Hooray for horrible parenting! Also random trivia I suppose; She and her brother are musicians. She does work primarily that of with synthesizers and electronic instruments. Think stuff of Machine Girl's soundtrack for Neon White. She's a fan of hardcore genres. If she was still around on her own when Prodigy became popular she would've loved that shit.

WG was much more outgoing than his sister and was always pretty much always the one initiating the conversations. It wasn't that EG didn't like talking to him, it was more she just feared he didn't like her. Which wasn't the case, usually, I think. Anyways, while being more outgoing than EG, he was also very much more opinionated on things. It was very hard to get him to change his opinion on someone if he didn't want to. He was also the only one of the two who got wing privileges and it made him into a cocky bastard. Out of everything WG liked to (LIGHTHEARTEDLY) tease EG for her not being able to fly was probably the biggest subject of his poking. It also made him into an overconfident bastard who faceplanted a few too many times into the pavement for him to be all alright. While his homelife was better than EG's, it still wasn't.. great. His adopted parents often threw jabs at him about his heritage. Like out of all the audios I've heard that I've been like, "Wow, this is so West Germany!", the biggest was literally the "What would Leonard Bernstein do?" bit from a John Mulaney special. Like, yeah thats just him with his parents. Anyways, he, like his sister, is also a musician! Albiet of a very different genre than her, he does stuff more akin to "real-world rock" as he calls it, he plays bass guitar pretty damn well and is pretty decent at drumming.

Ironically, the two had a lot of mutual friends growing up. Specifically Yugoslavia's kids. He was a very lax father figure, obviously he cared about his children but due to his absolute neutrality he almost never reprimanded his kids for any interactions with any country ever. Croatia and Slovenia specifically were friends with both of them. They're still friends today, actually. The two are pretty much some of the only people he lets his guard down around due to them being friends basically since birth.

Some misc stuff: Germany the Fusion™️ is actually Aroace. EG was a lesbian and WG was gay and due to the fact that they're pretty much constantly co-conscious now that the two have been fused they'd feel really weird actually dating someone. Now that he's fused he still does music, I believe mostly industrial synthpop but he likes to experiment with other genres too. On bad days he goes home and makes harsh noise. And I mean harsh. #Coping! He's pretty good friends with Japan and Italy. I like to think they call their groupchat "The Vertex Powers" as a direct jab at their parents. Speaking of.... all three are actually musicians. They work together sometimes. With Italy he tends to make more Aphex Twin/Mayhem + Darius type stuff while with Japan he makes stuff that sounds like Renard. If ur wondering what Japan and Italy make together, it's probably something that sounds like Darius + Rotteen or Infected Mushroom. So psytrance!

I hope this suffices, sorry for the wait!

edit 08/08/23: his """"government assigned"""" username is drawnExperimentation. eg's was dresdenDeceptacon.

[grayskiesdarkvibes]

Hi I'm an adult (23) how did you talk to your doctor about weight loss medicine? Mine just consistently tell me to eat better/exercise more & that I've already dropped a good amount (which is true but I'm still bordering on obesity and feel stuck & I already exercise and eat healthy shit so like 💀) it's honestly really frustrating and probably contributes to my e/d that I do all this and haven't lost any more lol

Hello there! I’m from Australia! And I went the way you’re not supposed to go -aka buying it from an online pharmacist that makes you answer a internet questionnaire and then ships it to you. I lied about my weight in order to obtain them.

I believe if you’re in America you may be able to by Ozempic or Alli over the counter?

But you sound like you’re going through something similar to my partner - so I’ll give you some suggestions! (My partner does not have an ED but they are on weight loss medications)

I do apologize in advance if you’re non-binary, trans, genderfluid, etc as I will use the medical terms for biological sex down below purely for anatomical purposes only!!

But I hope this helps!

A)if your biological sex at birth is female, and you found that you lost easily with a lower caloric intake, and but that you plateau easily and remain the same weight - as you mentioned, borderline obese- no matter what you’re doing diet wise and exercise wise then I have some questions:

1) do you have irregular / or painful periods? Or no period at all?

2) are you lethargic consistently?

3) did you find that while you may have been bigger than average, that the weight ballooned on?

4)have you had a diagnosis of biopolar or bpd/depression and anxiety in the past?

5) do you tend to have more body hair (face etc)

6) do you get very emotional at random times?

7) if you get cravings are they mainly sugar indulgent and sodium dense? (Think like ice cream, chocolates and French fries)

If you answered yes to multiple of these (especially for the periods) - there is a high chance you may have a) Polycystic Ovaries Syndrome, endometriosis. These two can mimic each other but both are different despite the similar symptoms.

PCOS (Polycystic ovaries) is a medical condition where your body produces too much testosterone, and puts your hormones out of level. When it does this, it spikes your insulin and your body doesn’t absorb it like it is supposed to - but it stores it. It’s also one of the medical conditions that accidentally causes misdiagnosis of Mental illness‘s because if your hormones aren’t regulating - then you’re gonna be emotional and distressed!

This condition causes cysts to build up over your ovaries and it’s very painful if they burst. They will continue to grow and burst, and this condition is very difficult to have children with. Your doctor would need to prescribe you metformin or a similar diabetic medication as it also helps with fluid retention and it helps your body produce the insulin correctly! The best exercises for PCOS is HITT, and weight training - because with the imbalanced hormones and the testosterone levels - the sprints of exercise and weight training will also boost your metabolism and help regulate those issues as well. Cardio doesn’t work very well for people suffering from PCOS.

Endometriosis is a condition where the uterus lining forms outside the uterus and is very painful! There are three types and this forces your body to hold more fluid and weight in a survival instinct. This also throws your hormones out of sync too!

You can still lose weight on Endo but it does make it harder and if you get out on certain medications it will also make you gain weight - however having extra weight with both of these conditions makes it worse.

You may also have a thyroid issue or a generalise glucose problem where your body can’t turn sugar into blood sugar so it stores it as fat instead.

If you were born biologically male -

Then if you find yourself constantly thirsty and hold swelling in your ankle or lower legs (if you press on the skin, and it has an indent or stays white where you pressed it for a while) then this could be an inclination of diabetes, hyper thyroidism or liver/kidney issues which are the main organs we need to remove toxins from our body. This would also cause you to hold a lot of water in your body and muscles.

My best bet would be to go to a different doctor, and if you match with any of these demand a blood test, or ultrasound if you suspect you have Pcos or endo!

Because if there is an underlying medical issue - that will need to be addressed first before being put on weight loss medication.

Otherwise if you don’t match with any thing I listed, I would still go see a different doctor and explain that you’ve been dieting and eating healthy - but it just won’t budge (if you have to, use a pity trick and say it’s really affecting your mental health and intervening with your study/work)

And be honest, do some research about what type of weight loss pill you’d like to be on or you think would be the right fit for you, and ask to be on it. If they say no then tell them you want it noted in your patient file that you asked for this treatment and they denied it with no probable cause as you fit into the demographic for this medication. Most of the time, doctors will do it if you demand that this be kept on record.

I hope this helps and sorry for the long message!!

Stay safe and drink lots of water!

[dankusner]

After backlash, expect less Pride merch in ’24

Target scaling back but some brands say they’re not adjusting their plans

Love-themed Mickey Mouse backpacks.

Pronoun pins.

'Not a Phase' hoodies.

'So gay for each other' greeting cards.

Every year, national brands cozy up to LGBTQ+ Americans with colorful merchandise for Pride Month.

But this June, those displays may not be as loud and proud.

'Especially during Pride season, most companies like ours are pretty busy working on Pride projects. I can tell you for myself, I have not been, and I think it’s across the board,' said Matt Skallerud, president of Pink Media, which helps brands reach the LGBTQ+ demographic.

Mainstream brands used to brush off anti-LGBTQ+ sentiment.

That changed last year when conservatives organized boycotts online that slashed sales.

National retail chain Target moved its Pride displays from the entrances to the back of stores after conservative activists confronted employees and vandalized displays.

This year, Target is scaling back its Pride collection and won’t carry the collection in all stores.

Bud Light, owned by beer giant Anheuser-Busch, is still struggling after conservative blowback in 2023 over a social media campaign with transgender influencer Dylan Mulvaney.

'The goal is to make ‘pride’ toxic for brands,' conservative commentator Matt Walsh wrote at that time on X.

The strategy worked.

Activists rallied supporters using hashtags and slogans like 'go woke go broke' and held boycotts and other actions they called 'Bud Lighting.'

Not only did sales suffer from the right, some in the LGBTQ+ community turned away from Target and Bud Light too, for bowing to conservative pressure.

Now brands are navigating the volatile political climate more gingerly.

Expect fewer rainbow logos, Skallerud said.

'Nobody in the media, marketing and advertising world wants to admit how heavy and hard this has been,' he said. 'Ever since Target and Bud Light had their fiascos last year, a tremendous number of brands have decided it would be much better to sit on the sidelines and let this sort itself out.'

The economics of Pride

Observed every year in June, Pride Month commemorates the 1969 riots following a police raid of the Stonewall Inn in New York. Over time, the community’s activism helped turn corporations that were indifferent or hostile into powerful allies in the fight for gay rights.

There’s a business argument for that: The LGBTQ+ community is a huge customer base, representing trillions in potential sales, according to Anders Jacobsen, co-founder of investment adviser LGBT Capital.

And LGBTQ+ identification in the U.S. continues to grow, with 7.6% of U.S. adults now identifying as a sexual orientation other than heterosexual, up from 5.6% four years ago.

The proportion of younger people who identify as LGBTQ+ is even higher: more than 1 in 5 Gen Z adults.

Research also suggests that Americans are more likely to patronize brands that support the LGBTQ+ community.

A 2023 GLAAD/Ipsos poll found that Americans were nearly twice as likely to say they would support companies facing criticism for supporting LGBTQ+ people rather than their critics.

Two out of 3 Americans are neutral to positive about Pride merchandise in stores and nearly three-quarters of Americans are neutral or feel positive about a company offering Pride merchandise, the poll found.

Opposition from some conservative quarters is common, but bursts of outrage usually fizzle quickly.

In fact, before last year, companies were more likely to face criticism for 'rainbow-washing': using Pride promotions to signal support for the LGBTQ+ community without making meaningful commitments.

That’s not the case anymore.

So, after years of weighing in on divisive topics, business leaders are trying to steer clear of the nation’s culture wars.

Transgender issues in particular have emerged as a conservative flashpoint.

Hundreds of bills restricting LGBTQ+ rights have been introduced and dozens have passed.

Harassment and violence targeting gay and trans people has surged.

Last year’s Target backlash was driven by false allegations that it was selling swimsuits for children with features for trans girls.

Neil Saunders, managing director of GlobalData, said mainstream brands know they can’t please everyone.

He expects they will celebrate Pride in moderation, toning down the merchandise and keeping promotions under the radar. 'If you promote Pride, some people will be unhappy with it. If you don’t promote Pride, some people will be unhappy about that. It’s not a battle you can win completely, which is why some retailers and brands are taking a middle-of-the-road approach,' he said.

Survey finds some companies not changing plans

Some companies said they were staying the course.

Levi Strauss & Co. told USA TODAY it has no plans to scale back its Pride Month celebration.

'This year’s Pride collection marks ten years the Levi’s brand has been celebrating Pride. … We are excited about this year’s collection and our plans,' the company said in a statement.

Wells Fargo, another longtime supporter of the LGBTQ+ community, said it would celebrate Pride Month by putting on employee events, supporting LGBTQ+ organizations and sponsoring parades across the country.

'Our plans this year are not scaled back,' Wells Fargo said in a statement.

Jared Todd, senior press secretary for the Human Rights Campaign, said his organization is not yet seeing many corporations back off their support for Pride Month.

'Granted, many companies have yet to announce their Pride plans publicly, so things could always change,' Todd said.

Similarly, Gravity Research recently surveyed 200 executives and found that most brands are not adjusting their Pride plans, said Luke Hartig, president of the firm.

Thirteen percent said they were unsure.

'This indicates to us that corporations view last year’s anti-LGBTQ+ backlash as more noise than signal,' Hartig said.

But where brands are pulling back, it’s because of pressure from conservative activists, he said

[allylikethecat]

TALK SHOP TUESDAY!!!

how has your day been??

- i have no complaints my day was slow but that’s always a good thing at my job haha, i recently got on the poppi train and they’re pretty good! have you tried any?

i gasped when i saw you posted two fics today!! not taking credit for the idea but….. i did say i was feeling a double drop not too long ago didn’t i? hehe but no, thank you for doing that! i know you like letting each fic get its own moment and i still think they will this week. todays ducklings update had me “😯” im super excited to see where matty went and if he and george will properly talk. i keep wondering if it’s gonna be a girl or boy!!!! Ducklings has quickly become one of my favs and i love george povs!

talk shop tuesday!

- do you prefer reading and/or writing happy endings? or are unresolved and/or sad endings an option for you?

- also— since we know atkh matty has a blue razz vape i was wondering how that little tidbit even became a thing in the first place, do you vape? have you vaped? how did you decide the flavor???

Hello My Dearest Smoothie Anon, I got your other ask saying you forgot to sign this one lol

Happy Talk Shop Tuesday!!

I can't complain about my day - it was very hot out but I had a nice little hack with Pop, the Bruins actually won which is incredible so now my anxiety has to go through a game SIX, and work was good! My boss told me I was great and doing a good job which always makes a person feel nice lol I'm happy to hear you had a good day as well!! I'm not a huge Poppi fan even though all my friends are - give me my Diet Coke and chemicals 😂

Hehe I know I said I wasn't going to do a double drop... but the moment felt right! (Not going to lie I was worried people were going to be disappointed by the On a Friday update and I wanted to be able to whip out Ducklings and be like NEVER MIND THEN SURPRISE)

Hehe I'm also very excited for the next few Ducklings chapters... This is Fictional!Matty so he's going to make it even worse before it gets better 😈 I'm not 100% certain it's going to be a boy or a girl yet- but I am leaning towards a girl, they just have girl parent energy in my opinion lol

NOW FOR TALK SHOP TUESDAY:

I prefer to read happy endings, I hate sad endings. I was so upset after I finished the Idea of You book because of the ending. I do however enjoy writing those more open ended almost bitter sweet endings because creatively I find them more interesting to craft than just a straight up happy ending. BUT I feel bad not giving people a happy ending so I will usually be doing that lol

LOL The blue razz vape 😂 I do not vape, I am old, I am from the generation where "we smoked cigarettes like adults" <- direct quote from a friend of mine lol but even then I only really ever smoked socially while drinking in college. I have however tried various younger friend's vapes (also while drunk) and hated it every time, I'm not sure why I keep doing it and expecting a different result 😂 HOWEVER in terms of Fictional!Matty, smoking is such a thing for IRL Matty and therefore the different variations of Fictional!Matty, however, I cannot imagine that Fictional!Jack or Fictional!Jamie would allow that kind of FIRE HAZARD around the horses, like hay is already so combustable! The amount of No Smoking sighs covering our barn property is just like truly impressive. Not to say that horse people DON'T smoke, but in this fictional universe Fictional!Matty has been shamed out of it for fire hazard reasons and also because I just think the idea of him trying to hid his fucking blue raspberry vape is hilarious - fictional!George also thinks it's hilarious because what even IS a blue raspberry really?!

Thank you SO MUCH for being so wonderful and for sending me this super fun ask!! I'm so happy that you enjoyed the updates and that you were willing to indulge me in Talk Shop Tuesday! I hope you had a fantastic Tuesday and that you have a great rest of your week!

❤️Ally

[litcityblues]

'The Super Mario Bros. Movie' --A Review

I must have seen the 1993 movie, Super Mario Bros. Many moons ago, when video rental places were a thing, there was a fantastic place in town called Hagens. (I'm sure every town had one of these at some point in the video rental era-- but if you recognize the name, then as the kids say, IYKYK) and Hagens was a wonderful place that had every possible movie you could want to watch. It also had those old VHS tapes of Star Trek and Star Trek: The Next Generation which were placed at a convenient angle to their infamous 'swing doors' that lead to the Adult Section.

Ah, youth.

But anyway, I'm convinced that at some point in the distant past, I saw the 1993 movie starring Bob Hoskins, John Leguizamo, Dennis Hopper, and amazingly enough, the awesome Fiona Shaw.

That was then, this is now.

The Super Mario Bros. Movie draws some immediate differences between the 1993 film and this one. For a start, it's animated, which I think fits a lot better. I don't know if a Live-Action remake would ever be in the cards and one would hope that they'd be less hampered by technology now with the rise of CGI, etc., but for the purposes of this movie, animated works.

What I loved about the animation was how bright the colors were. Vivid and sharp, it jumped out at you and really brought the various worlds of the video game to life in a really effective, compelling way. The story is about what you expect: Italian-American brothers Mario (Chris Pratt) and Luigi (Charlie Day) are trying to get their newly opened plumbing business off the ground in Brooklyn. After a disastrous first day, they rush to the scene of a major water leak in Brooklyn and, when they go underground to fix it, they get sucked into a warp pipe and separated.

Mario lands in the Mushroom Kingdom where he meets Toad (Keegan-Michael Key) who takes him to the ruler of the Kingdom, Princess Peach (Anya Taylor-Joy) while Luigi lands in the Dark Lands ruled by the evil Koopa King Bowser (Jack Black) and his wizard Kamek (Kevin Michael Richardson.) Bowser is on a quest to conquer the world and marry Princess Peach and Peach isn't so warm to the idea so when they receive word that Bowser's army is on the movie, they head for the Jungle World to see if they can enlist the Kongs as allies. King Cranky Kong (Fred Armisen) agrees but only if Mario can defeat his son, Donkey Kong (Seth Rogen). Mario does and the two allies race to defend the Mushroom Kingdom only to fall victim to an ambush by Bowser's forces on Rainbow Road.

Mario and Donkey Kong survive and hurry to stop Bowser and Peach's wedding and a final confrontation ensues although everyone gets sucked back into Brooklyn, the good guys win the day and the respect and approval of both the denizens of the Mushroom Kingdom and Brooklyn and the two brothers move their plumbing business there and prepare to start their work day.

Overall: I think it's probably unreasonable to expect a lot of the plot here. It is what the video game is. Overcome various challenges, rescue the Princess, etc. This isn't Game of Thrones. You're not going to see a Red Wedding or Luigi get killed randomly or something. But as a story, it works. 'Save the Princess' is probably a trope as old as time, but you don't get to be one of the biggest video games ever if you don't know how to do that well, and even in animated movie form, The Super Mario Bros. Movie shows that they can still work that magic and work it quite well.

The fun stuff for adult viewers- even those, like me, who have a deep knowledge of Mario Kart and were frankly crap at the original games when they came out for SNES, etc- are the nods to the games. The Rainbow Road sequence is excellent. Mario uses a catsuit to defeat Donkey Kong. We see a Tanooki tail show up. I'm not 100% sure, but I feel fairly confident in saying that just about everything from the video games you would want to see shows up in the movie in one form or another.

The cast is excellent. Jack Black just about steals the show as Bowser- I mean, talk about perfect casting there. And while some people did grumble a little about Chris Pratt being cast as Mario and not being remotely Italian-American, Wikipedia tells me that Charlie Day, who voices Luigi does have both Irish and Italian ancestry, so at least one of the brothers is carrying the Il Tricolore.

This is a good movie. Solid, great animation, good cast- it's a kid's movie that works on multiple levels, so if you're an adult and have even the vaguest of knowledge about video games, you should find this tolerably enjoyable. (The more knowledge you have about the games, the more entertaining this will probably be for you though.)

My Grade: *** out of ****

[secretagent9]

ok but hear me out

ginga densetsu weed x mp100 crossover

here's a fun little summary for those who don't know what the heck gdw even is: basically the most shonen shonen to ever shonen from the early 2000s, but with dogs in it instead of people. there's a puppy named weed who finds out he's the son of this AMAZING dog named gin, who's the leader of all the other dogs (and has his own prequel manga/anime, but this ain't about him) that live in the wilds of japan, so weed goes on a quest to find him (gin doesn't even know he has a son until someone tells him, he's been out getting dog milk for a few... months? years?). then he meets a bunch of other dogs, ends up making lots of friends and turning them into a small-ish army to take down some Bad Guys who want to ruin the paradise that his dad fought so hard to make (it's a really cool, really big pile of rocks that means a lot to everyone). there's a lot of gruesome dog death and the animation quality is pretty inconsistent, ranging from pretty good to amusingly shitty, but it's near and dear to my heart and i'd recommend it to anyone who likes obscure-ish anime/manga (for some reason, it was popular in like, Finland but nowhere else, lol).

alright, onto my scattered thoughts about how something like this would even make sense:

weed and mob are both kids with incredible power (weed literally has a Special Move that only his father has, and it's the key to defeating the Big Bads), thrust into a violent world of adults (Claw and all their shit for mob, feuding dog factions for weed), and both wind up turning most of their enemies into friends and allies (the power of friendship is quite the potent one, except for when it doesn't work, which is sometimes, lol)

reigen's kinda like a fun fusion of GB and jerome; both are weed's guardians/mentors, but jerome's got the skills of a professional (he's an ex-assassin) while GB is a big bumbling goof who occasionally does something helpful (and tends to notice how weed is feeling before anyone else, also i think he's the only one who ever really remembers that weed's a kid? everyone else is just kinda like "hey, you're the leader's son, act like it! we expect so much from you even though you're only a few months old and ridiculously small!"); combine the two and i'd say you've got a reigen, but he's like... a shiba inu

KYOSHIRO AND TERU ARE PRACTICALLY THE SAME PERSON. no but seriously, kyoshiro's this other kid (an actual kid, like weed) who's gained this reputation for being ruthless and having a bunch of loyal followers, so weed goes to meet him and get him to join his cause, but then he sees how cruel he is enacting his own personal brand of "justice" on dogs he hates, and is like "alright actually you're a dick and i don't want your help anymore"; also he and weed fight and kyoshiro tells him that his father used to beat him so now he HATES adults and ESPECIALLY hates when they beat their kids (teru's got some fun ideas about adulthood too, don't he?), and all his followers are kids that would quite literally die for him; his fight with weed isn't so much of the same "reality check" that teru's is with mob, but they're both forever changed by these encounters with these kids who they're surprised (and annoyed) to realize are Just Like Them, in some ways, and they wind up admiring them and wanting to follow them and better themselves, while also repenting for their past shittiness

there's a Big Bad toward the end of the show that surrounds himself with these strong dogs that he's specifically chosen because of their superior abilities (they might as well be espers; seriously some dogs in this show can do CRAZY shit), and if that doesn't sound like toichiro and the ultimate five then i don't know what does; weed and friends promptly fight, defeat, and convince all of them to renounce their wicked doggie ways, but not before the Big Bad tosses one of them out like trash and he has his own little character arc where he comes to like weed's group and wants to help them; and he's a big, BIG dog, so... it's serizawa, toube is serizawa, he learns to be more than a tool for an overpowered asshole who doesn't actually care about him through the powers of kindness and compassion and then he becomes protective of his new friends and we can ignore what happens to him in-canon because THE GANG'S ALL HERE, NOW, TIME TO KICK SOME DOG ASS

there are no cats, but dimple can be one... like a dead one. or, well, an undead one. something something nine lives

if i had more brain cells bouncing around in my head right now, i'd come up with dog breeds for everyone (all the characters in gdw are different, distinct breeds, which is a neat thing), but I'm sure someone else has done it already; might do it anyway thought, could be fun (i mean we already know that serizawa's a st. bernard, reigen a shiba inu probably; weed's canonically an akita inu, which are special dogs, but hmmmmm)

ritsu being jealous of mob inheriting the battouga (special move) and being touted as the next leader of ohu when as far as he's concerned, he hasn't done a single thing to earn it. or something. honestly i'm not sure how the whole leader thing would work, since mob wouldn't be into it (just like he wasn't into becoming a god with dimple). come back to me on that.

what's the dog equivalent of spirits and such? spirits DEFINITELY exist in the gdw-verse (auras, too, i kid you not), but not the malevolent kind that haunt and curse people... unless that's suddenly an issue, y'know, because of all the dead dogs. ohu's haunted, send help

that's all my thoughts for now. i may have just made this because i want more people to watch this silly show, LOL.

[nobdybettrthnbuttr]

Book Review: Animorphs Book 1: The Invasion

TLDR version: Fun book but none of these characters are getting away from this without some serious therapy needs. So Animorphs is one of those books that I was the perfect age to read as a kid. Only problem is my reading skills as a child weren’t the best and I never made it past the early couple of books. Now that these books seem to be trending (due to someone revealing all the traumatic stuff that goes down) it seemed like the perfect time to read them. Now that I’m an adult who has much better reading skills, I finished the first book in two days while reading between customers at my day job. So I think it’s safe to say I won’t be having the same issues. So for those who don’t know, Animorphs is a book about five middle/junior high school students who are at the mall on a Friday night and on their way home, decide to cut through an abandoned construction site. While there, they suddenly are visited by an extraterrestrial creature in a spaceship. The alien is called an andelight, looks like a blue centaur with a scorpion tail. Plenty of drawings online if you want to know what it looks like. Anyway, said creature tells them that humanity is being invaded by body snatching slugs called Yuurks and that he tried to defend the planet, failed and is dying. He then proceeds to use a blue cube to give them all the power to absorb the DNA of any animal they touch and then morph into said animal. However if they do not morph back to their original form in under 2 hours, the morph remains permanent. Shortly after the alien gives them the power, they have to hide because the bad guy spaceships come and another andelite, this one under the control of a Yuurk and is named Visser Three, steps out of the bad guy spaceship, morphs into a giant alien monster and rips the friendly andelight apart. In front of these kids. Did I mention the andelight is psychic and the children hear his dying screams in their heads? This is why the Animorph books are infamous. You come for the weird cover of the book of the boy slowly morphing into a lizard and stay for the traumatized child soldiers, body horror and war crimes. Anyway, the five kids are as follows. Jake, the main narrator for this book and the guy that for whatever reason, everyone looks towards as a de facto leader. Marco, Jake’s best friend and the guy who seems to be there to tell everyone what a terrible idea it is that they are thinking about fighting an alien race. Rachel, Jake’s cousin. She’s not really given much description in this book beyond being really self confident and also tends to break out into cursing when she’s pissed. Since this is a children’s book, the cursing is not actually said on page but is implied. Cassie, the flower child whose mom and dad are veterinarians and has way more access to deadly animals then any child should. And lastly Tobias, the awkward bullied kid who hangs out because Jake saved him from bullies once and has a terrible home life. CHILDREN'S BOOK EVERYBODY! Anyway, so the kids have to make a daring escape after being chased by Hork-Bjars (race of scary looking aliens that are apparently peacful and are just enslaved by the Yuurks) and Taxxon (weird centipede monsters that like to eat anything and are allied witht the Yuurks of their own free will). They escape and the next day start talking about what to do. Jake is on the fence. Marucs is against it because he’s afraid if he dies, his father will have no will to live. Long story, mom died two years ago and now Marcu’s dad is in a deep depression and has trouble holding down work. Tobias is all for it because of awesome morphing powers that let him get away from his own depressing existence and he had some sort of weird connection with the andelight before it died. The girls are leaning towards yes. But then Jake finds out his brother is actually a controller, that’s the name given to people who are being controlled by Yeerks, and that tips Jake into wanting to fight. The group goes to this weird cult thing that is secretly a Yuurk recruitment/abduction trap that the Yuurks run disguised as a youth group and Jake uses his morph powers to turn into the family dog and sneak up on the secret meeting. Finds out the Vice Principle is a controller Then he hears that his brother suspects him of being at the crash site and that they may need to kill him. So that’s more trauma. Then Jake morphs into a lizard to eavesdrop on his vice principal and discovers the site of the Yeerk Pool. Yeerks have to leave their host body once every three days to recharge in these pools or they will die. Then they go to the zoo and get some better morphs to fight. Then Cassie gets kidnapped and is about to be infected by a Yeerk but then the kids come to save the day with their super awesome battle morphs. Visser Three shows up and they fight. Jake temporarily frees his brother but he gets recaptured and then they escape. But at the last scene in the book, Tobias shows up in his hawk form and reveals he spent more than two hours as a hawk and is now stuck. Overall....the book is entertaining. I can see why they are fondly remembered. But my god, the amount of torture these kids are put through just in book one is immense. I’ve read spoilers for the later books so I know it's only going to get worse. There are a few things that don’t make sense. During the scene where they are running away after gaining morphing powers, Jake is running through the half finished building and wakes up a homeless man. But how did the homeless man not wake up from the destruction of a spaceship literally right next to his sleeping spot. Also why is everyone so hung up on Jake being the leader. I can understand why Tobias would, guy kind of hero worships Jake. But Marcus is constantly questioning him the entire book. And Rachel and Cassie just seem to decide to make Jake the decision maker. Beyond those small gripes though, it was fun. Watching children fight for their lives is always a delight. That was a joke. Protect the children. I’ll continue reading for now and let you know what I think of Book 2.

[velveetawabbit]

Why Are Parent's Such Incredible Fuckheads?

Good Afternoon, Void, hope your continued existential crisis is going well enough.

I work in SpEd as a paraprofessional (the ones you see supporting in classrooms most of the time, and also teaching in those little classrooms) and it's a joy, especially because I'm with the littles~

Some of these kids may be actual assholes, but currently they aren't going to always be like that if we give them the needed skills every human should have to function. There's many parents who are stupendous advocates who see us as allies so we can both help each other succeed, but there's always a handful that HATE their Special Needs child. The type who are first to drop of their child, and always late to pick them up. The type who blame everyone for any issues they have, even ones they are refusing to accept help to fix.

There are parents who've barked at us for "parenting" their child, but are clearly mentally ill (consistent delusions of grandeur, insists the family is exceptional geniuses who have been studied by the government. The kid's failing in many subjects and parents demand we better support their child, but also forbid us from any negative consequences. "Our child learns more from positive reinforcement" is the reasoning, but pretty sure they just don't give a shit about their kid and think this move will keep us from calling them almost daily as that is the last tier in the negative consequence cake we dig through with this kid. That kid must've had a hollow leg or some shit, they're an expert at bothering others and being a giant "look at me, I'm so funny hahahaha" piece of shit.

I don't think parents realize that those kids will have that naturally resolved by bullying later in life, or isolation. I promise you, most teachers try real hard, but not everyone will tell on their bullies, and some of those bullies are really good at keeping it subtle and really passive aggressive. [My anecdote is how when I was in elementary, the girls in my class bullied me by never talking to me outside of commands and letting (making) me carry their bags and follow them around at recess. Teachers never caught on and stopped it because I too was a SpEd kid and didn't have any clue until hindsight kicked in. To them it likely looked like I was happy doing all of that, because back then I was, but yeah I was super bullied in passive aggressive ways like that]

Shame is natures consequence to inappropriate behavior, and I dislike any parent setting their kid up to fail by convincing them it's fine to be "shameless". Can it hurt their feelings sometimes? Stress them out or make them cry? Yes! They will face this even more harshly as adults, so it's very good that they have these experiences while there's lot's of learning time for them. As a parent, your kid will only have as good as self esteem as you give them, which requires effort and time and money, which a LOT of parents, especially in Utah, don't generally have.

Seriously, I feel so bad that some of my students are being molded into "that kid", you know, the weird or annoying kid you always hated because they made school harder for you? Yeah, being helpless to try and curb that behavior is maddening. I really think people should pass a fucking test to have kids, I am exhausted dealing with narcissistic, lazy, entitled, ignorant (your child isn't a retard, and neither are any of my other students, you miserable cow), aggressive, and helpless parents.

Yeah... that's how the first week back from winter break has been!

Yay~! /s

To add to my struggles, I also live in a religious pile of shit, it's a state called Utah, and as someone who is non-religious there are so many things that are normalized here that boggle the mind. One of them of which

I

L O A T H E

Many of the parents here will ruin the fun of two dozen kids because their dumbass thinks coloring a picture of a witch will suddenly make them worship Satan, or watching Harry Potter will make them turn to witchcraft, all sorts of dumb shit. Bruh, they're kids and YOUR kids, if you think coloring a picture or seeing a movie will so easily damage your teachings, then maybe your teachings are really weak in reasoning.

But I digress, the main theme of today's post:

Why Religious People Need To Leave The Arts Alone: A memoir

So, living in Utah my entire life, I've been stuck dealing with a bunch of sheltered babies in the bodies of teenagers and adults. The kinds of people who find offense in the most basic parts of humanity, those feeble minded fucks who imagined up VidAngel, you know. Pearl clutching snowflakes who think they can control the human experience and lives of others.

You see this en masse in the arts. Really, and I don't understand WHY.

Now, you see, at first you'd think "Huh, what's wrong with religious people expressing themselves? They have just as much a right to do so!" but that's not where they stop, they go on to rip up other peoples hard work, they go full Chinese government on musicals and movies and shows, it's aggravating.

It's one thing to not want your kid to swear, that's fine, there's tons of replacement words. It doesn't change that we all know what swear word it's supposed to be, but whatever helps you sleep at night.

The rest of their requests are spineless bullshit.

Mormons have some fucking gripe with shoulders, you'd think they were actually puritans with how fucking out of their way they go to make even non religious people dress to their standards. So any costumes that were sleeveless, strapless, halter topped, or any sort of thing shorter than a cap sleeve, those costumes were fucked up by having sleeves either added, or you had to wear a fucking t shirt under it. (Do you know how fucking lame it felt to tap dance in a super pretty and really cool flapper girl dress, but have on a fucking black tshirt underneath that made the dress catch on my torso funny? I felt like I was six, not seventeen.)

They got a problem with men having facial hair or long hair in general, you know, the Disney standard. That's changed some a bit in the last few years at least. (To be that bitch, I'm ever so mildly annoyed that of course it's the men's issues that are relaxed first.)

The last biggest thing is the aversion of anything romantic/sexual, ESPECIALLY if between unmarried people. I agree with the sexual stuff, no, the sixteen year old doesn't need to shake her tits or ass at the audience like an adult would preforming this role.

But to have a stroke over, GASP, the mention of premarital relations is fucking obnoxious.

Now, the trigger for this bitching:

I volunteer to help with our schools show choir. It's great, there's a lot of kids clearly more in it because their parents have a desperate need for vicarious living (I empathize kiddos), but overall a gaggle of A-for-Effort and You've-Been-Training-Your-Whole-Life-For-This kids who make ya smile. We're prepping the set list for the spring concert, and today our finalizing was fucking ruined. Why?

Because Grease Lightning is inappropriate for children, somehow. No seriously, we'd already done a rough run to see how the kids liked it (you know, they gotta like it to perform it) and they all LOVED it! So exciting! "We're gonna get to wear leather jackets?!?!?!?!" "A car race?!!??!" "We're gonna look so cool!!!!!" "SOLO'S WOOOO!!!"

Lot's of energy, simple arms and legs and all of that to get a good rough sketch of what it might look like several months from now, kids love it, and the key we found is in their range! Hell yes! Our musical review flavored show choir concert was set!

But nooooo, no no, Grease Lightning is not appropriate. Just the song.

We don't like, watch the show or give any much context, the kids don't really need it to sing and dance. They can barely do that at the same time and you think these poor kiddos are trying to balance a proper CHARACTER on top of it? Let's set them up for success please, lol.

But Utah legit has a fucking problem with those kinds of shows: Grease, Footloose, Bye Bye Birdie, all of those classics that are fun, spunky, energetic, but still a bit of conflict and angst, easy entertainment!

Drinking. Smoking. Swearing. Pretending to be drunk or otherwise inebriated. Pretending to kill/attack someone. All of it is pretend, fake, but also not shit they don't see in the real world. There's still beer ads and alcohol usage in many many many places, even in songs the parents LET THEM LISTEN TO w h a t.

There's still smokers, and vapers, and now there's even fucking weed!

People still wear tube tops and short shorts and all sorts of revealing shit just to be comfortable, especially in a DESERT.

There's swearing everywhere, but also your kid for sure, 100% knows what all the swear words are, because the parents that don't give a shit if their kids know tell them. Idiots.

And the fake violence is literally ALL these cute little shits do: Cops and robbers, soldiers/army, Squid Games, Death touch, Monster destruction, huggywuggy chase, they do all of that every recess. Then the video games, and you know, cartoon violence in general, so seriously, suck my metaphorical dick on that sort of pearl clutching.

I hate that next week I'm going to have to tell them the song has been cut, and I wish we could fucking single that parent out, because it's only O N E parent (technically set of parents, out of 46) who disagrees with the song in it's current child friendly form.

Remember all those "Oh fuck you" moments where one piece of shit person ruined it for everyone, but only because the authority permitted it? Like that one kid keeping everyone in from recess, or the one kid keeping kids from getting through their lessons at a decent pace because the teacher has to keep stopping to fucking deal with them? The ones that made you heave a groan and roll your eyes and hate your teacher?

Yeah, that's this, but some 3rd party fuck who inserted their kid into performing while apparently not realizing that their entire gripe with it is fucking insane and unrealistic, which is ironic considering that it's all about fictitious little stories.

I want these shit ass parents to understand that in a perfect world, they wouldn't be allowed to reproduce because God would've made them sterile. (Proof he doesn't exist lmao)

They're people who prefer ignorance, plus more insultingly AND worryingly, try to force this ignorance onto others. It's not like some food allergy, it's a fucking choice to pitch a bitch fit about innocuous things, and I'm tired of dealing with the parents, as a teenager trying to enjoy performing in High School (And feeling like a loser when my costume had to have some fucking tshirt underneath it) and then in College where the Department Head enforced it because "the community wouldn't agree to this sort of thing", and now as I teach and support students myself, I'M the poor fuck who has to be the bad guy and ruin fun shit for kids.

I seriously wish people like this would just fucking homeschool then, if they're so concerned about their child being heavily sheltered. You've sent them to fucking P U B L I C S C H O O L you moron. Just because the activity or curriculum is "heathen" free doesn't mean your kid isn't surrounded by heathens constantly, making friends with them, learning bad words and potty jokes, and all sorts of shit.

But I suppose that just religious people in general. (Those of you who aren't like these kinds of losers know who you are, obviously. But of course the ones who need to hear it most never fucking listen)

I've met tons of normal people who, even having served a mission and been incredibly devout, shed their garments to properly perform, dance, swim- just like anyone else. To them it's no different from any uniform. Just as in some careers you must get very dressed up, some you need to be dressed down. I just want to publicly shame these imbeciles, because clearly no one did it early enough to correct the behavior naturally when they were younger.

Most times, luckily, the kids don't really know what they're missing. But man to see those kids and how poorly they function as adults, and how easily taken advantage of they are, it kills me. I could prevent it, we could all prevent it, but no, in sixteen whatever some unlikable puritan fucks got kicked out of every country willing to house them, so they went to somewhere "uninhabited" to be fucks by themselves, then unwitting travelers and immigrants got suckered in by them or even just their community habits spread out more and more and spawned a whole bunch of baby religions or bumped them up to popularity, and now we're here. I hate H E R E.

But, as it goes,

I'll deal with it using as much grace as available to me, and find a new way to get the kids pumped. We've decided to just let the kids give us suggestions and see if maybe some of them might have plausible ideas! We think it'll help them perk right up. Silver lining~

Enjoy the mouthful, Void, it's been fun, see you when I see you~

[five-rivers]

@lucifer-is-a-bag-of-dicks came up with this op!Danny/Marvel AU!

BTW I need help naming this newest proof that I can't keep anything to a short little one-shot.

.

Loki was not, and never had been, a good man. For that matter, whether or not he’d ever been a good boy was debatable. His mother would argue that he had, but she would very likely be the only one. Well, except for Thor, perhaps, but that was because he was an idiot who could drown in three inches of nostalgia. Like he didn’t remember every time Loki had humiliated him. Maybe he didn’t, for all that he kept falling for the same trick over and over again.

It made Loki’s late nights studying the arts of illusion, misdirection, and lying seem redundant. Almost. Not everyone was as dense as his big brother.

No. Loki had never been a good man. He had, however, been a free man.

Free to run or hide. Free to explore the nooks and crannies of Asgard, to uncover her secrets in ways few cared to do. Free to walk hidden paths between the Nine Realms and even farther flung territories, where his people did not and had never ruled, to play games, make deals, have adventures, take risks. To be. To exist as his own creature.

He had been free. He had.

But on one of those little secret excursions, he had discovered something that had made even his flippant, slippery heart clench with fear. A ravening plague, spreading across the stars. The death of half of everything on the horizon.

Loki was not a good man. What cause did he have to care for all the sundry others in the universe? There were too many. It was too much to ask.

But Asgard—His home, even though the had long ago realized the blood in his veins originated on very different soil. That was different.

Asgard, he could help. Asgard could survive.

But it had to be strong. It had to have strong allies. None of this barely-held peace, this enemy eternally at their gates. It needed strong leadership. Not his brother’s simplistic view and longing for the glory of war.

Loki was not a good man. But he was one who could get things done.

Before he knew it, he had burned all his bridges behind him. In one case, a literal bridge that was literally broken.

And he fell.

And he fell.

And he fell right into the hands of the one he had feared enough to do this. Broken enough for poison to drip into the cracks. No one knew where he was, no one could know where he was, except, perhaps, Heimdal, and Loki sincerely doubted Heimdal cared. No one was coming for him. No one was looking for him. No rescue was forthcoming.

He was alone.

Asgardians were considered gods for a reason. Their bodies and minds were much more resilient than the average mortal’s. But Thanos’s people had been titans, and there was a reason for that, too.

Thanos enjoyed breaking him.

And Loki turned his lies on himself. A skilled master of games always had one gifted opponent, even alone. Hadn’t he wanted to rule? To command? To see a world, any world, prostrate at his feet? To be given the recognition and praise of which he was so worth?

To pull something, anything, out of the fire?

(If he had spent less time learning how to spin lies and more on how to see the truth, he might not have believed it. A better, wiser, man would have. But Loki was not a good man. And he was very skilled in his craft.)

So, his new master put a weapon in his hands, and he went off to conquer a world.

.

Danny was used to rude awakenings. He was used to those rude awakenings being full body chills and ghosts, not someone knocking on his door.

Blearily, he pulled himself out from under the blankets. Quasi-military government facility or not, the beds were comfortable. Maybe Mom or Dad had gotten themselves locked out of their room? Or Jazz—No, not Jazz, she hadn’t come with them. She was at college, not being flown places by Mom and Dad’s suspiciously generous new consulting job.

At least it wasn’t the GIW.

He stood on tiptoe (curse his perpetually short body) to peer out the peephole. His parents’ buff, one-eyed, and incredibly imposing new boss stood in front of the door, hands on his hips, slightly sweeping back his long dark coat. If Danny listened carefully, he could hear two other people near the door, and… was that an alarm? Yes. Faint, but present, was a warning klaxon.

Okay. Danny would bet his right arm that something had gone horribly wrong with whatever his parents were consulting on. Didn’t explain why the boss was in front of his door.

Unless they’d gotten the rooms mixed up, somehow?

Ugh. Danny wasn’t paid enough to deal with this.

He opened the door. “What-?”

“Phantom,” intoned eyepatch guy with great solemnity.

Danny immediately tried to close the door. The guy stuck his foot in the jamb, and, sure, Danny could have crushed it, but that would be a jerk move. He didn’t think this guy was going for a pirate look, after all.

“We need your help.”

.

“I’m not sure what you think I can help you with,” yelled Danny over the beating of the helicopter blades. He’d remained stubbornly in human form. “My parents are the scientists. This sounds like a science thing. Not a punching-people thing.”

“We spoke to them earlier,” said Fury, “and we have plenty of scientists working on the theories they brought up. You’re the one with practical experience.”

“Practical experience in what?”

“Interdimensional portals,” said the woman, who had yet to introduce herself.

As if this whole thing wasn’t already giving him a bad feeling. “My parents built an interdimensional portal. Again, you should be talking to them. They’re the ones you’re paying.”

“We could pay you, too,” said Fury, “but we assumed you would want to avoid letting your parents know about this, as you’re still a minor and they have control of your bank accounts.”

Danny stared flatly. “This is blackmail.”

“We aren’t threatening you,” pointed out the woman.

“Emotional blackmail,” said Danny, glaring, daring her to challenge him on whether or not he actually knew what blackmail was.

In the meantime, the helicopter landed. Danny unbuckled and hopped out, trailing slightly awkwardly behind Fury and the woman. He didn’t want to stand out, but he suspected that, being the only kid here and being in the general vicinity of Fury, who radiated authority, that was a lost cause.

“This is Agent Coulson. Coulson, this is Phantom.”

Danny’s mouth went dry(er) at how casual the introduction was. His eyes went nervously to all the other people running around the field. With all the noise, it was unlikely anyone had heard, but still…

“Can you not? Secret identity and all? Unless you’ve told everyone herealready, which, rude.”

Fury sighed. “How bad is it?” he asked Coulson.

“We’re not sure,” said Coulson. “That’s the problem. Big fan of your work, by the way,” he added as an aside to Danny. He glanced at the woman. “Agent Hill.”

“Background?” asked Fury as he led the way into the building.

“The first energy surge was four hours ago. Dr. Selvig’s equipment picked it up – He’s the head scientist on this project.”

“Dr. Selvig isn’t authorized to test,” said Fury. “We wanted to run his plans by the Fentons.”

“He wasn’t testing. He wasn’t even in the room. He called it ‘spontaneous advancement.’”

“It turned itself on?”

“What are the energy levels?” asked Fury before Hill’s question could be answered.

“Climbing,” said Coulson.

“Mr. Fenton,” said Fury, “any comments?”

“Look, I don’t even know what this thing that you built looks like or what it’s a door to.” Danny frowned as a thought occurred to him. “You’re not expecting me to fight whatever comes out of it, are you? Because, unless you’ve got a ghost portal down there, I can’t make guarantees.”

“It’s called the Tesseract,” said Coulson. “It’s supposed to be a connection to the other side of space. A source of unlimited energy. At least,” there was a note of humor in his voice despite the evacuation taking place around them, “that’s what the scientists say.”

“A door to space?” asked Danny, firmly shoving down his excitement at the prospect. “Like, a Stargate?” It was no good, he could practically feel himself sparkling. He took a firm grip of his core and reminded himself he might need to fight before the end of the day.

“Well, no,” said Coulson. “It’s this little… cube… thing.” He made a shape with his hands.

“Oh,” said Danny, mind still whirring. “You know, if it’s really a tesseract, it isn’t a cube in just three dimensions, so bigger things could come out of it than you’d think.” He’d seen some weird portals in the Ghost Zone.

“Well, right now, we’re just getting energy.” They entered a large room with an extremely sci-fi setup. It looked like they were planning to shoot some kind of laser across the room onto a platform surrounded by strange-looking panels. There were men with guns scattered around in what was probably a well thought out formation Danny couldn’t see. There was also a dude with a bow sitting up in the rafters. He frowned down at Danny as he noticed Danny noticing him.

“Dr. Selvig!”

“Director!”

“What do we know?”

Danny allowed himself to be distracted by the centerpiece of the room, a piece of machinery built around what was indeed a little cube thing. He tilted his head and approached, trying to get a better view of it around the people in lab coats and protective gear currently swarming it. He caught mention of radiation a grimaced.

It was unlikely to kill him, but, really, everyone here should probably be wearing more PPE. You never knew what was going to come out of an interdimensional portal, after all. Except trouble. Trouble was a pretty safe bet.

It was pretty. Blue. Reminded him a little of a blue raspberry ice pop. Part of him wanted to lick it. Which was stupid. He didn’t want to wind up half what-ever-lived-on-the-other-side on top of his regular ghost nonsense.

“Mr. Fenton?”

Danny jumped and turned, refocusing on the adults, who had multiplied while he’d been daydreaming. The guy with the bow had joined them.

“Mr. Fenton? Like the Doctors Fenton I spoke to earlier?” asked Selvig.

“Yeah, it’s—”

This, of course, was when everything decided to explode. Sort of.

The blue cube shot out a beam of energy that had more than a little in common with the Fenton Bazooka’s portal setting. The beam terminated on the platform, a portal rapidly forming.

Danny slid into a fighting stance, and barely even noticed as blue energy washed over the room, throwing many less-prepared people back.

Something shaped like a man stepped through the portal.

Danny did not break his stance. Still. “An alien,” he whispered, eyes wide. If they were friendly, maybe they’d answer his questions about space. If they weren’t friendly, maybe they’d answer his questions about space after Danny beat them up.

(Danny did not go ghost. Did not even think about going ghost. There were too many people here, and the space was too open.)

Fury attempted to negotiate. Danny approved. Not everything that came through an interdimensional portal was necessarily evil.

Except this guy apparently was. Go figure. He could also deflect bullets and was very good with throwing knives, which led to Danny having to pull several of the gun guys out of their own line of fire as well as the alien’s line of knife. Who would have thought an alien’s weapon of choice would be throwing knives? The energy-blasting spear was much more in line with his expectations.

The bow guy proved to be more competent than the gun guys. This didn’t really surprise Danny. Bow guy sort of had to be competent. Otherwise, no way would they let him go around with a bow. Like, seriously. A bow.

Even so, bow guy was fighting an alien and—

“You have heart,” said the alien, raising the spear.

Danny pushed bow guy out of the way, and his mind fuzzed out.

(The human part of it, anyway.)

.

Loki didn’t know what a child was doing here, and he didn’t particularly care. The boy would do for a hostage, at least. He had a mission he had to fulfil, or else…

Or else.

“Please don’t,” he said turning with a shadow of his usual lazy affect, vaguely insulted that the human thought he could be sneaker that him, “I still need that.”

The human went on and on, apparently burdened with the delusion that he was on the same level as Loki.

Loki was burdened with other things. A glorious purpose. Glad tidings. Freedom. What could be better than freedom?

“A world free from what?” asked the human.

“From freedom,” said Loki, and wasn’t that what he believed, now? Wasn’t that what he’d been shown? “Freedom is life’s great lie.” He would know. He was an excellent liar. “Once you accept that, in your heart—” He batted away an arrow and tsked. “Shield me, boy,” he demanded. Had Thanos misrepresented the scepter’s powers? Or was the boy merely—

A dome of green surrounded him and the boy, thrumming with magic the likes of which he had only seen once, in a tome thrice forbidden.

“Oh,” said Loki, almost purring. “You are interesting. What are you?”

“Half human, half ghost,” replied the boy, tersely.

Loki had never heard of such a creature. No matter. He’d be sure to make good use of him.

“Grab the scientist,” he said, nodding at the balding man who had been with his brother when he’d fought the Destroyer in the desert.

Loki wanted the archer. He seemed interesting. Useful.

.

Fenton was under thrall. Phantom knew what that felt like. A hundred feet under red water, trying not to drown, whispers everywhere. Pulling. Pushing. Prodding.

This was different, but the principle was the same.

Neither half of him could truly ‘fight’ the other. Fenton and Phantom were a single entity. Not two in lockstep. Even so.

Fenton grabbed onto Dr. Selvig, as ordered. Phantom made sure that was all they did.

“What are you doing, boy?” snapped Loki. “Follow me! Bring the scientist.”

And so, they followed.

.

Loki breathed. Acquiring Barton had been the right choice. The boy was powerful, but, perhaps because of his unique biology, did not have Barton’s presence of mind, and couldn’t have led him to such wonderful allies.

Allies.

These weren’t truly his allies. Nor were they subjects. They were…

Loki forced himself to breathe. He just had to follow the mission. Follow the mission, let Thanos’s army through. He’d been promised this world. He would have this world.

And then he could be… His mind stuttered over the next word, and he shook his head, trying to drive out the painful buzz of Thanos’s herald and mouthpiece trying to contact him.

He looked up at the drones bustling around, all according to his will. Except the boy, who stared at him, somehow managing to be both utterly blank and challenging at the same time.

He was alone, here.

He was alone.

But what did it matter? Bad men always wound up alone, and Loki… Loki could never be a good man.