#also i think im Impulsive rn
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bigcats-birds-and-books · 10 months ago
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wow, who knew scraping three inches of Winter Storm off your car at midnight on speedrun would leave you ABSOLUTELY FUCKING WIRED, this was not the goal
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bricky-brikson · 2 months ago
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Thinking about the "trilion and 12 years old" joke about Bill and thinking about his psychological development after the Euclydia massacre
In the show, we see that while he can plan ahead and manipulate people, he's often foiled by his own impulsiveness/anger/emotions. His ultimate goal is to escape the Nightmare Realm/Dimension 0. And sure, he says this is because he promised the Henchmaniacs he'd help them, but ultimately as others have pointed out, Bill is terrified of death. He wants to live forever - have "a party that never ends with a host who never dies". All he cares about is himself, his own survival and hedonism
All this to say, Bill has the emotional development of a teen. He hasn't gotten past the self-centredness nor the reward/adrenaline seeking behaviour, but has emotionally evolved enough to be able to manipulate people and such (and be able to feel guilt, even if it's just a picogram). Though his immaturity shows when he doesn't get his way.
One might think that, being a trillion years old, he would've developed a bit, but here's the thing - major traumas can "freeze" people at certain developmental stages. We don't know how old Bill was when Euclydia was destroyed - though considering his behaviour I would bet he was a teen.
(Or whatever the equivalent of that stage is for his species. They have exoskeletons- do they have instars then? Whatever, that's not on the topic of this post)
Seeing his entire dimension destroyed after (what was probably) a well-intentioned attempt to show them what he saw ("They'll see. They'll all see.") permanently emotionally stunted him. However it was he got his powers, he was a teen/young adult with powerful abilities who had just erased an entire dimension from existence and was now accountable to no one but himself while also being deeply traumatized. His constant partying and implied substance use were probably the only coping mechanisms he could think of, dissociating because he has no idea how to actually confront what happened. The way he talks about the massacre - he detaches himself from it yet still admits guilt ("A monster."). Only post-divorce does he implicate himself in the event, though still obscuring its true nature ("I liberated them.").
Being surrounded by individuals who are similarly maladjusted for most of his trillion-year lifespan certainly didn't help things. The Henchmaniacs are likely somewhat stunted as well, or at the very least don't offer much in the way of mature/emotionally adult conversation, especially since Bill reacts so poorly (read: homocidally) to any sense of malcontent.
Which is to say, I think part of why Ford was important to Bill was because, compared to him, Ford was more emotionally developed (Ford is emotionally stunted in his own ways, but not as severely as Bill IMO). Subconsciously, their relationship was reaching a hand out to the scared teenager in the centre of Bill's psyche and offering him someone to lean on- someone who had their shit a little bit more figured out. A kind of figure Bill hadn't had since he killed his parents.
Of course, such vulnerability probably felt so alien that Bill tried to distance himself. I always wondered - why didn't Bill just lie to Ford about his plan to take over Dimension 49'\ ? Ford would've believed him, finished the portal, and Bill's plan would've been fulfilled. Well, I think it was Bill trying to burn the emotional bridge. In his own impulsivity, his own desire to dissociate instead of confront, he would rather make sure that he would never be able to be vulnerable to Ford than fulfill his grand plan.
...
I don't remember where I was going with this. There's no conclusion. I'm spinning this triangular multidimensional tyrant at physically impossible speeds in my mind and if I didn't write something about him my skull was going to turn into a fine powder. It's almost 2 AM, so it's entirely possible this post makes 0 sense, in which case feel free to inform me of that in the notes.
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definitelynotshouting · 9 months ago
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(Unimportant trivia babbling, feel free to ignore for any reason, it is 2am and thus my restraint is currently AWOL.)
You mentioned Grian and Impulse in s10e01, and I assume you were talking about how Grian got Impulse to die. This pinged the Trivia part of my brain, and it's 2am so the part of my brain which goes "no don't bug people" is currently off. So here goes:
In the OG Demise in s6, Grian thought people weren't starting to die off fast enough (after about 1 or 2 irl weeks, iirc) and so he set up "Demise Dares", where he paid people a ton of diamonds to do extremely risky minigames. He basically created the first two members of the Dead Team with it. (The Dead Team stuff worked differently in s6 Demise - instead of Boogeyman-like "one kill then you're free", all of the dead were basically like red lives except with no PVP.) (Grian also got the final kill in Demise - he made a trap that killed Doc immediately when he logged in.)
In the same season, he made a minigame called "Dig Straight Down." Kinda similar idea to vertical mining in s10, but not naturally generated. Grian made specific holes for people to dig down into with diamonds and other ores scattered in them, as well as lava. The idea was you dug straight down as much as you dared, but if you went to far, you died and lost all the stuff you dug up.
So yeah. Yet again Grian was the first one to cause a Demise death, and he did it in a similar way to a different minigame he made in s6.
WAIT THIS IS SUCH COOL TRIVIA I DIDNT KNOW HE GOT BOTH THE FIRST AND LAST KILLS IN DEMISE DURING S6...... OHHHH MAN THAT SOUNDS SO FUCKING FUN TO WATCH (and also has such insane tie-ins to hunger au oh my gods)
Also yeah i was talking specifically about the fact that Grian got that first kill...... on Impulse........ like ive got plans for their relationship in hunger au okay, i dont wanna spoil it bc we're VERY close to getting back on hermitcraft within the narrative but MY GODS THAT DID SOME COCOMELON SHIT TO MY HEAD WHEN I SAW IT GO DOWN
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lexydakitten · 1 month ago
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been debating if i should try to get a drawing tablet and whatnot recently. as of now and as i have for the past 3-4 years i've just fingerpainted on my phone using ibispaintx, so if i did get one i'd have to actually believe i'd use it . and i do have a tendency with art to fixate on one new art-related thing or skill that i don't have, hard to tell if it's just that or if i actually am interested. i only started thinking abt it more cuz like.. the only reason i havent looked into that stuff already is because im under the assumption i would NOT get along with styluses. but i also know next to nothing abt that technology. i feel like it would help since my main frustration with art is that it takes me forever as i'm only using my fingers. it might make things like lineart something i can actually do without getting irrationally angry. shrug
really only yelling into the void here cuz im tired again uaaghh... do i want or is it just a whim... i wouldnt know if i'd actually like it or not but i feel like it could help with a few things just a lil bit..
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callmehere-iwillappear · 1 year ago
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leo voice YES it's in poor taste. but have you considered. it's REALLY FUNNY
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bookworm-2692 · 2 years ago
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I gotta say the tags you left on that reblog on why you followed me are by far one of the best collections of tags I've ever gotten. but you've awakened my curiosity. What was the Twitch chat that started this? What did I say???? I'M SO CURIOUS BECAUSE BOY HOWDY I'VE SAID SOME INTERESTING THINGS-
I couldn't remember exactly, so I went back and searched Discord for images I sent and apparently it was just a super tame message.
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The thing that made it significant, however, was the fact that I had never heard the Diggy Diggy Hole song before this year... despite having watched minecraft youtube videos since 2012. Somehow I missed that. A month or two ago I mentioned something from a different Impulse stream about diggy diggy and my friend @bibliobasilisk forced me to watch several iterations of the song (which I'm grateful for. It's a bop. As you would know).
So anyway I sent that screenshot to her like "hey look someone in chat said this" because i thought it was hilarious and then I was like "also I recognise their name from tumblr. unrelatedly". And then she was like "ah swedish tumblr, just looked them up" and then, being half swedish myself, I got hella excited:
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And then I proceeded to scroll on your tumblr for like 20 minutes before unpausing the Impulse vod to continue watching. And I've been following you ever since then.
So a combination of me recognising your name, and my friend sussing out that you're Swedish (and the fact that diggy diggy is still relatively new to me) and bam. I'm here now.
Also in looking for that screenshot, it turns out that I screenshotted a second message of yours from a different stream:
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Because Hermitgang my beloved
#hermitcraft#ask#anyway i can literally never watch impulse's streams live because theyre either 2am-5am or 3am-6am in my timezone (depending on daylight#on daylight savings time) but for sweden it'd instead be 6pm-9pm or 5pm-8pm i believe? if im converting correctly#which is like. prime stream watching time#end of the day. relaxing at home#so yeah i have to settle for just watching the vods later so youll never see me in chat#unless he's doing an afternoon stream which then is like regular morning for me#and only if its a non work day for me#also i dont even get the benefit of australian time for when the aussie streams. pearl starts her streams at 11pm which is far too late#ignore the fact that its almost 1am now#i mean it did help when i scrolled through your tumblr to discover your guys were also like impulse and co#and not some of the guys i care less about#anyway. yeah thats it#also those discord messages show it hasnt even been a month lmao#its been like 27 days#bc anzac day was the tuesday and today is monday so its one less day than four weeks#wait no its still sunday night. my computer tricked me into thinking it was monday#just bc its after midnight doesnt mean its monday. monday happens tomorrow aka i need to sleep first#also i just need to actually sleep anyway. on account of the 'its after midnight rn' thing#i was about to go to bed but then i saw your ask and knew i had to answer straight away#the anon who is talking about season 7: sorry you have to wait another day for your response#non anons take priority#which is a rule ive made up just now bc this is the first time ive had an anon and a non anon at the same time lmao
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houseofwolvess · 1 year ago
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sorry for the rapid fire rambling posts y'all. i don't know what's up rn but something's up
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welcometogrouchland · 2 years ago
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I love dipping my toes back into comics, remembering all the C and D list characters I love and getting that sense of intrigue again, sliding into headcanon territory like "MAN if they just made a series about this they'd totally have me hooked again!". Then I continue reading about the state of current comics (i.e where those C and D list characters are rn and what the state of canon is) and think about the amount of complexity and set up you'd need to even get halfway close to the perfect vision in your head and how impenetrable current comics are so you wouldn't even know where to start with catching up...
And then I'm once again relieved that I'm not caught up with comics anymore and am simply backreading now irrelevant comics at a glacial pace
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upsidedowngrass · 2 years ago
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btw, sorry for any inactivity ^_^, i uninstalled the tumblr app for a little but rest assured that i AM thinking abt liam when i can :D
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staurows · 2 years ago
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um hello i am bringing back these lesbians 
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chisungie · 2 months ago
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inviso-bill-strikes-again · 5 months ago
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best thing about our specific Memory Issues is that mac can buy stuff while someone else is fronting and they won't remember it by the time it gets here so it's like a little surprise gift every time
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sk3l3t0n444 · 9 months ago
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GIVE ME LOVE LIKE THIS DAMNIT
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edgybutnotveryedgy · 1 year ago
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...
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themyscirah · 1 year ago
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ALYSSA WONG SPIRIT WORLD IS SO GOOD OMG
#like its so !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#also the lettering thing the do with xanthe's deadname is so cool where its like a bunch of scratches whenever someone says it#and also xanthe is just so cool!!! their powerset and job and story is just <333 so crunchy and interesting#and just like... its so cool <3#i may try and get the tpb when it comes out bc its just like. a really cool idea and creative and diverse ans just !!! i want to see comics#like that. we'll see. there are 2 more issues left anyhow#also to anyone reading this being like swishy werent you just doing a simonjess read? like listen guys. i am so distractable. before i was#doing the simonjess read i was doing a kyle read i didnt finish and before that i was- you get the picture#ive been reading the impulse book for like 2 years now bc i keep getting distracted like its a problem guys#literally next issue is mercury falling aka the most popular arc of that book that im pumped for and YET am i reading it rn??? what do you#think. distractions.#im honestly so jealous of ppl who can stay with one thing for a while like the best ive done is like 70 issues before getting distracted#and that was a feat so idk how people can read like 200 appearancess ACROSS BOOKS like thats the goal but also i could never#anyways im taking a detour and reading a few of the interesting ongoings right now bc i feel like i never read current comics#and i want to get into the hype/depression cycle bc i like hate myself i guess#im an optimist though so i am hoping!!!! that things will be good!!!! but uh if they arent ill actually die <3#blah#swishy liveblogs#anyways alyssa wong spirit world good 👍#i rlly need to catch up on her aphra run im like 20 issues behind which is embarrassing#and just star wars in general... i call myself a qi'ra stan and i havent even finished crimon reign which was like a year and a half ago#theyre doing dark droids rn which has SO MUCH potential but also... i doubt theyll go there... BUT ALSO WHAT IF THEY DO#anyways i suck at reading ongoings but i want to do it lets be real#also alyssa wong writing cass <3333 shes SUCH a classic cass fan its great#reasserting the canon existence of the cass/shiva duel in batgirl no 25... having cass remember it and being dead... we love that actually!#anyways using hypnosis here YOU WANT TO READ SPIRIT WORLD#spirit world#dc comics#xanthe zhou
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cloudboba · 1 year ago
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feeling sooo uninspired lately but maybe i just don’t know how to relax. lol
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