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milkpup · 10 months ago

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｡⋆ʚ♡ like father, like son

›› chapter 5 ›› nsfw 18+ ongoing multi-chapter fic!

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ʚ ao3 ɞ / ʚ kofi ɞ / ʚ fic masterlist ɞ

›› toji fushiguro x reader ›› megumi fushiguro x reader ›› toji x reader x megumi (mfm) ›› 18+ f!reader ›› started: 12/6/23 : updated: 1/29/24 : status: ongoing

‹𝟹 summary: You and Megumi are best friends. You've known eachother for almost your whole life. His home has become your second home. As time passes and life happens, Megumi slowly develops feelings for you, even though he's unaware of it. To complicate things further, you're now living with him and his father, who has also taken a liking to you.

‹𝟹 fandom: jjk, jujutsu kaisen

‹𝟹 genres / warnings: au - no powers, college au, power imbalance, pseudo-incest (they both want y/n, nothing w/ eachother), dubious consent

‹𝟹 tags: good cop bad cop, fluff, smut, angst, toji has a big dick, dilf toji, toji is his own warning, toji tries to be a good parent, toji is an asshole, toji is trying okay?, daddy dom toji, daddy kink, porn with feelings, porn with plot, friends to lovers, spit / spitting, spit kink, spit as lube, breeding, vaginal sex, vaginal fingering, double vaginal pen, double pen, anal, making out, making love, love triangles, praise kink, degradation, light masochism, light sadism, emotional sex, cuckolding, jealousy, jealousy kink, smoking, smoking kink, emotional manipulation, manipulation, polyamory?, father and son share you, protective megumi fushiguro, megumi needs a hug, megumi has a big dick, AGED UP CHARACTERS, dead dove: do not eat, finger sucking, large cock, cum swallowing, blow jobs, first time blow jobs, under desk blow jobs, fingerfucking, face sitting, face riding, 69, mutual masturbation, threesome mfm, lots of smut, loss of virginity

‹𝟹 notes: hi, sorry this took so long to update! i've had a lot going on lately, but i finally felt good enough to finish this chap! i tried to go for soft megumi but then eventually i couldn't help myself. sowwy x_x (im not sorry :3!) don't try so hard to imagine the positions, just go with it PLSSSS T_T LOL. for tumblr: i'm gonna start adding a section for tags. if y'all wanna be tagged in future updates on this fic or any of my stuff lmk!

<;33

!! - again, PLEASE READ TAGS BEFORE CONTINUING - !!

! - ALL CHARACTERS ARE 18+ - !

Chapter 5: Pink Carnations

“It’s already almost 5 in the afternoon… and there’s a storm forecasted? Why are they not home yet?” Megumi questioned as he anxiously paced back and forth in the living room. He was worried, not really about the guy who he’s supposed to call ‘father’, but about you. He would never admit it, but he counts the hours, minutes, seconds, moments even when you’re not together. He misses you but feels like he’s not allowed to miss your presence.

Yet… he does. He always does. And that’s why when he sees you come bursting through the front door, clothes soaked but laughing, he’s confused. He knows you hate getting your clothes wet, much less completely soaked through. So why are you in such a good mood? He doesn’t mind, and loves hearing your sweet laugh, but he’s confused, nonetheless. That is, until he sees Toji’s massive frame follow right behind you.

Megumi’s cheeks flare with jealousy, his face flush a crimson red. He stares right at you, loudly asking where you’ve been. He isn’t trying to be mean, but he is mad. “What took you so long in a storm like this? You know it’s dangerous to drive with streets flooded so badly like this.” He finishes, looking straight at Toji, staring daggers into him for even thinking of putting you in a dangerous situation.

“I’m a good driver. You don’t need to worry. And we took a while because we were busy.” Toji smirks slightly at the end of his sentence, moving across the foyer and setting his keys on the table.

You don’t want to feel the uncomfortable sensation of soaked clothes for any longer, so you silently slip out of the room and make your way towards the bathroom.

Toji being Toji, he’s watching every part of you until your silhouette disappears into the dimly lit hallway. He’s watching you like a predator stalks his prey. Megumi’s brows furrow as he feels anger and jealousy boiling beneath his skin. He starts walking up to his father, confronting him, “Why are you looking at her like that, and why are you spending so much time with her in general, you old bastard?” Megumi is practically in Toji’s face, eyes fierce and cheeks flared with anger.

Toji only smirks as he’s leaned against the wall, looking down at Megumi. “I mean, why wouldn’t I? She’s fucking hot, and so obedient. I would be a fool to not want her for myself.” His response almost sends Megumi into a blind rage. Megumi understands Toji most likely takes what he wants from you, sometimes aggressively, and he wants to protect you from that.

“You’re disgusting.” Megumi retorts, words laced with venom. “You make me sick.”

“You can’t deny it though. I’m right. And you know I’m right.” Toji responds before pushing off the wall and away from Megumi towards his own bathroom. Megumi rolls his eyes as Toji walks away, but somewhere deep down inside him- that he’s blind to and wouldn’t even admit to- agrees with Toji. And that’s what pisses him off the most. He feels as if he’s been thrown into a competition to “win” you, one that he is already losing at. Megumi is disgusted with himself at the idea of you being described in terms of a prize, but he also can’t resolve the fact that he wants you. It’s wrong and unfair how someone like Toji could get to you first; Toji doesn’t know you like I do. He doesn’t value you like I do. And thus, Megumi resolves to make you happy in a way no one else can.

A few days pass, and nothing really happens between anyone except sneaking glances and private thoughts.

Eventually, Megumi can’t take it anymore. He chooses a night where Toji is out working overnight “hustling’ or whatever the fuck he called it. He ordered your favorite food and went to pick it up, hoping you’d spend some time with him. Even a little bit. On the way home, he picked up a small bouquet of pink carnations- flowers that mean missing someone.

You get back home from your afternoon class shortly before Megumi pulls up in the driveway. You are just barely sitting on the couch before Megumi opens the door and enters, the sight of flowers and bags of food warming your heart. He makes his way towards the table, setting down the food, flowers still in hand, as you hastily get up and hug him.

“It smells amazing, Megs.” You say, holding him tightly. He thinks you’re talking about the food, but you’re most certainly talking about the intoxicating scent of him and his cologne. He smelled like what rainwater personified would smell like, comforting and refreshing.

“It’s gonna get cold, ___. And these are for you.” He finishes as he sheepishly hands you the flowers. You sit at the table, placing the flowers aside as Megumi looks for plates and silverware for you both.

“Thank you, Gumi.” You gently say as you’re taking containers out of bags and unpacking them. “It smells so good!! I can’t believe you remembered what kind of pasta I like.”

Megumi returns to the table, placing silverware and plates down. “You’re welcome. Of course I’d remember. How could I forget?” He’s sure he could see a faint blush creep on your cheeks, but you’re ultimately distracted by your craving for noodles. He chuckles at how you’re practically inhaling the food.

You both talk for a while about how classes have been, what stuff you’ve been watching, just mundane stuff that still shows how deeply interested he is. You know he remembers every detail, no matter how boring it may seem. He never forgets.

After finishing the wonderful food and cleaning up together, you’re both relaxing on the couch looking for something to watch together. Usually, you gravitate toward thriller or horror movies, but Megumi picks out some almost cringey – but still cute – romance anime about two people who meet at a convention for a game and fall for each other. It’s not your first choice, but it’s still cute.

Your legs are resting on Megumi’s lap, not moving as you both watch. Megumi is slow, almost cautious when he places a hand on your leg, just rubbing you. He wants to make sure any touch in general is fine as he takes his time, slowly moving up your legs and eventually reaching your thighs. You’re acutely aware of his agonizingly slow touch, but the wait almost makes it better. He’s not even watching whatever he put on, and you’re too caught in the sensations of his soft hands rubbing your inner thighs to even begin to pay attention to the show.

Megumi’s hands continue its ascent up your inner thighs, going painfully slow. He’s looking for any and all reactions he can get out of you, and the way your breath hitches as he gets closer – it drives him insane. The way you try to hide your blush across your cheeks with your arms, trying to look at anything else to save you some embarrassment…. He loves it.

His hand moves to the waistband of your shorts, tugging at them to show he wants to take them off. He hooks his fingers around the waistband and gently pulls them completely off before tossing them to the floor. Megumi’s eyes instantly lock on to your panties. “Fuck, ___... do you always get that wet?” He’s teasing you but also shocked, the underwear was soaked from just a little teasing. You must have really wanted him.

His fingers play with you, rubbing the outside of your underwear as he draws sweet moans from your mouth. He absolutely loves the taking his time, hearing every soft moan you squeak out every time he moves his finger. He pulls your panties to the side, not even bothering to take them off as his long, slender finger slips past your folds. Just as quickly as it appeared, he pulled his finger back to his mouth, tasting a bit of your slick. “You taste so good, baby. Oh my god.” He purrs as he brings another finger back to your cunt, this time pushing into you.

“Fuck, Gumi…”

He fucks you with a single finger as he expertly rearranges you on the couch, one leg hanging off with him in between. He slips another finger inside your tight hole as he brings his mouth to your cunt, flicking his tongue around your clit. The whimpers and pants you make only serve to make Megumi feel like a man starved. Eventually he slips his fingers out, much to your annoyance, and replaces it with his tongue. He’s eating you like a man having his last meal. He wastes no time in tasting every part he can reaching, fucking your cunt with his tongue. His hand creeps back up to your clit, thumb gently circling it as he continues eating you out.

He comes back up for air and inserts his fingers again, fucking you in a rhythm matching his thumb on your clit. You can feel yourself approaching that edge, the knot in your stomach tightening as Megumi stretches your cunt with just his fingers. He adds another finger, stuffing you full of his fingers as his thumb continues its assault on your clit. “You’re such a good girl for me, huh? Did you miss me, baby?”

Your eyes widen as he praises you, feeling yourself reach your limit and cum over his fingers. You make quite the mess over his arms and the couch. “I guess that’s a yes, isn’t it princess?”

He pulls his fingers out of you and reaches for the waistband of his sweatpants, pulling them down. There’s a noticeable small wet spot on his boxers, he was definitely hard and leaking at just teasing you. As much as he loves your mouth, he absolutely wants your already fucked out hole.

He picks you up and turns you over so you’re on your knees, hands on the back of the couch. Megumi aligns himself behind you, gently pushing his throbbing cock into your soaked hole. Your panties are still pushed to the side, creating a lewd sight Megumi hadn’t even anticipated as he watched your cunt swallow his cock.

Your upper body was pushed against the side of the couch, with your knees spread apart and ass in the air. Megumi bottomed out his cock inside your tight hole, pushing against you fully. “You’re such a good girl. Holy fuck.” Megumi wasted no time in picking up speed, developing a comfortable pace. You moan in tandem with his thrusts, turning him on even more. He wants to be gentle with you, but you were taking his dick like a bitch in heat, and he couldn’t be more thrilled about it.

He spanks your ass as he slams his thick cock into you, and you tighten around him in response. He doesn’t realize it now, but soon will understand how masochistic you really are. He slaps your ass, creating red marks all over it to mark his presence. “You’re a dirty girl, aren’t you? You like being fucked like a whore?” He asks as he thrusts into you, hitting your g-spot. “Answer me, princess. Are you a disgusting whore?”

He gives you almost no time to respond as his hand snakes up your back, reaching your head and grabbing fistfuls of hair to pull you back with. “Yes sir, I am” You barely manage to squeak out as you feel yourself being fucked silly, close to cumming again.

“You’re what? Answer me clearly, darling.” He coos as he tugs at your hair, pulling you back against him.

“I’m a dirty whore-ah” You yelp out as he pulls on your hair. You can feel the warmth of his body on your back, as you feel another hand make its way around your neck.

“Good girl.” Megumi purrs out. He is picking up the pace now, as his grip around your neck gently tightens. He’s thrusting into you with ferocity he didn’t know existed, abusing your tight cunt.

You feel yourself getting dizzy while Megumi keeps drilling into your cunt. He releases his grip on your throat, allowing you to gasp for air as he pushes you down against the couch. His hands grip you at your waist, giving him a better holding on you to fuck you harder. He groans as he feels himself getting close.

His cock slams into your g-spot again, as he nears his edge. “I’m close, baby. Be a good girl and come with me, yeah?” You can feel his cock starting to twitch inside your cunt as he continues his relentless assault on your sensitive spot, feeling that knot snap in your belly as you tighten around his cock. The moment you cum, it sends Megumi over the edge, and you feel his warm cum filling your womb. He slips his cock out as he pulls your panties back over your cunt. “Keep this on for a while, sweetheart.” He says as you start to roll over. He leans down and kisses your forehead, while caressing your cheek.

“That was amazing, ____. You were amazing.” He praises as he sits on the couch, pulling you into an embrace as you sit on his lap. Your head rests in the crook of his neck and you can smell that familiar, fresh scent. It smells like home.

“Thank you, Gumi.”

‹𝟹 notes: i don't think there are going to be many more chaps for this fic soon. maybe 2 more at most idk. i dont rly know what i wanna do going forward, so i gotta keep it cookin in my brain for a lil more i guess lol. if y'all have suggestions i am ALWAYYYYYYS open for them! getting comments on my fic literally gives me so much serotonin u dont even understand lol

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‹𝟹 notifs: @vvxxccaa @arylaa @starshipxoxo @rzcnlb

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(･ω･)つ divider creds to @/cafekitsune and @/eloquentreverie

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graciereadshannigram · 18 days ago

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hey fam, welcome to the September round up of all my favorite fics i read this month!!

as a reminder: the ingredients for a five star rating typically (but not always!!) include some combination of a.) believable characterizations of both Hannibal and Will, b.) compelling plot and/or character arcs, and c.) high quality smut.

that being said, my judgment of the aforementioned ingredients is powered almost exclusively by vibes and as such, is incredibly subjective.

you can find past recs below:

February March April May June July August

and if you have any recs of your own for me, PLEASE SHARE.

without further ado, let's go!

Marriage of Inconvenience by FragileTeacup

Word Count: 3563 Summary: When Will Graham hears that Hannibal Lecter has been threatened with deportation, he's far more dismayed than he ever thought he would be. But a flippant suggestion from Brian Zeller gives him an idea...

GREEN CARD FAKE MARRIAGE YES PLEASE.

Nakama by FragileTeacup

Word Count: 55656 Summary: Hannibal Lecter is handsome, clever, rich, Omegan... and quite oblivious to the fact that he is hopelessly in love with his brusque Alpha mentor, Will. Will Graham has always looked out for Hannibal, occasionally despairing of his young protégé's spoiled nature but valuing his companionship just the same. They are the best of friends. But when Hannibal finds himself in the grip of a late first heat, both men are forced to confront feelings which neither are prepared for... Nakama, a Regency A/B/O romance based on Emma by Jane Austen. Featuring beautiful art by the wonderful beatricenius!

I really enjoyed reading this, but also I love omega Hannibal and the angst in this was just *chefs kiss*

Peaches and Cream by The_Gemini_Dragon

Word Count: 5757 Summary: Hannibal picks up one of the jars, turning it over in his hands. He hasn't expected Will to can his own food. He pops the lid open, and knows immediately what it is. A sharp, sweet scent reaches his nose, as well as a whiff of alcohol.He dips his fingers into the jar and brings the peach slice to his mouth.

Drunk Hannibal really scratches an itch in my brain, especially when it leads to excellent sex :))))

Time Reversed by teacupsandtime

Word Count: 25,474 Summary: Hannibal and Will traverse an unexpected intimate development.

Heads up, this is mpreg. But it was very sweet and tender and made me very happy!

Depraved by sourweather

Word Count: 5891 Summary: Will was raised to think that certain things were wrong. Dirty, shameful. Even years later, there are certain lines that he can't seem to cross.For example, he's never been able to handle the idea of anything going in his ass.

y'all wanted to know what some of my most re-read fics are, this is certainly one of them LOL

shame by YouAreMyDesign

Word Count: 3240 Summary: Hannibal smiles, and goes to the contacts in Will's phone. Under the name 'Daddy', his phone has apparently grouped two phone numbers. The first is Hannibal's cell. The second has a Louisiana area code.

*fans self* hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha obsessed.

spider by YouAreMyDesign

Word Count: 3991 Summary: Hannibal likes his kills clean. Will likes them messy.

beware the tags, heavy on the "dead dove do not eat" but wow this was beyond enjoyable! felt very in character for them!

Sweet Tooth by HigherMagic

Word Count: 81017 Summary: He has prepared for this, of course. No self-respecting Omega of his stature and skill would deign to let themselves be taken by surprise. Although, again, he has not expected his final heat to approach for some time, it is one of those occurrences people prepare for like Doomsday. He has plans, and bags packed, and knows what he will need to do, to make sure he makes it through the ordeal with minimal discomfort. The first step will be to hunt, to stock his fridge and his stores so he will not go hungry. The second step will be to find a suitable companion.

another one that i've reread several times, whoops.

Look, Mother! The Sheep Have Devoured the Wolves! by HigherMagic

Word Count: 102934 Summary: Hannibal and Bedelia are married, but unable to have children. At Margot's insistence, Hannibal agrees to meet the Omega that was a surrogate for her and Alana. Will is rough-edged, unrefined, and everything Hannibal shouldn't desire. This arrangement promises to be clean, and simple. Of course, nothing concerning Will Graham is ever simple.

THIS WAS SO GOOD. not gonna lie, almost didn't pick it up because of Hannibal being married to Bedelia, but it works!!!

Love in the time of cannibals by ToxicWitchling

Word Count: 69658 Summary: Franklyn has noticed Dr Lecter's favoritism with another patient. It started small; frequent appointments, hushed conversations and light touches. However, Franklyn draws the line at the recent extravagant gifts the Doctor seems to be bestowing on a scruffy fisherman from Wolf Trap. He realizes he may be more interested in the good Doctor than he first knew and begins to find out as much as possible about this Will Graham, if not to stop him toying with the Doctor's affections, then to learn where the attractions lies and steal it for himself.AKA. Franklyn notices Will is a sugar baby before Will does, gets jealous, and wants that lifestyle.

amazing. loved. love.

act on it by acheforhim

Word Count: 9142 Summary: “I work a lot. Don’t really have the time to find an alpha who won’t look down on me for…” “For wanting to be an omega?” “Basically, yeah.” — Will is lonely and his long-distance fuckbuddy encourages him to pursue Hannibal.

AHHH THIS WAS SO FUCKING HOT WHAT THE HELL. I HAD TO TAKE A BREAK TO MAKE SURE I WAS BREATHING.

An Ounce of Wit by Winddrag0n

Word Count: 69420 Summary: “It’s heavier than I expected. Anyways, here.” She walks in front of Will, and in her hands she is holding a long, furry snake. It’s white on the bottom, the top a dirty grey, with dark, blurry rosettes sprinkled along its length. “Where did you get that?” Will asks quietly, his brain rejecting the fact that it feels like a part of him.“It’s attached to your ass, dude. You have a fucking tail.”--AKA a modern magical AU where the entire point is to turn Will Graham into a catboy.

I didn't expect to like catboy Will Graham and then I read this and it was actually really well done!

Wildfire by Winddrag0n

Word Count: 4266 Summary: “I’m so sick of this,” Will bites out. “All your bullshit. Whatever this stupid fucking game we’re playing is.” He approaches Hannibal, palms open, showing he is unarmed. “You manipulate me for the better part of a year, send me to prison, and when I finally embrace this ‘inner darkness’ you’re always on about, you know what happens?” He jabs a finger out, pressing it harshly into Hannibal’s chest. “You don’t even have the fucking decency to die.” Will finds himself at a rave, and emerges a person with far less patience than before.

yeah, i have no words. so fucking good.

Still With Me by Winddrag0n

Word Count: 4271 Summary: There is, inexplicably, a coat check, which Will uses. He does not pocket the ticket, simply leaves it on a stool near the door, knowing Hannibal will grab it for him. While Hannibal is fast and assured in his movements, this is Will’s territory, and he easily slips a safe distance away with plenty of time to see Hannibal’s entrance. He catches the man in question putting the paper safely away with a small shake of his head, and then he’s looking up, taking in the room around him. A shiver runs down Will’s spine, because he did not realize Hannibal would actually make an effort to blend in. His hair holds no treatment, falling softly across his forehead, and he is dressed in dark grey slacks with a matching black button-up, undone partway down his chest. Most of all, in his eyes, where Will had expected to see some form of rejection, he only sees curiosity.Will turns away, towards the main floor. This point of this was to let go, not dwell on things, and he closes his eyes and lets it happen. Will makes a habit of going out to clubs, and one night Hannibal follows.

hey if you enjoyed my public sex prompt for kinktober, this might be a fun one!

3y3s by Winddrag0n

Word Count: 4866 Summary: Pain, bright and wide across his face as Will feels his head jerk to the side. It’s only when he turns back, sees the cold look in Hannibal’s eyes as he pulls his hand back, that he realizes Hannibal has just slapped him. “I will not apologize,” he says, words clipped. “You were out of line.”“Good,” Will grins, an electric energy shooting through his veins, “because I’m not going to apologize for this either.” He lunges forward, uses fists where the other man had used his open hand, and punches Hannibal square in the jaw. Trouble in paradise.

fighting as sex and sex as fighting?? *drools*

let's hate what our love makes us do by hannigramized

Word Count: 22250 Summary: Hannibal Lecter's patient, Franklyn Froideveaux, has been making unwanted advances towards Hannibal. Hannibal enlists the help of Will Graham to get Franklyn to back off. And because he may be kind of in love with Will. Takes place during Season 1, mostly Episodes Sorbet&Fromage

Fake dating is the best kind of dating! I love when they're oblivious and don't realize that they're actually in love.

Single All the Way by venus_in_bloom

Word Count: 34740 Summary: Will Graham has everything; a successful career, a loving father, a stable job. All he is missing is someone to share it with. When his dad insists he brings someone special, all thoughts go to his friend and weekly dinner companion Hannibal Lecter. A plan is hatched when Hannibal proposes that Will introduces him as his partner. Can visiting his roots help Will and Hannibal to finally take the leap and lay some roots of their own? Can Will resist the elusive doctor’s charms? Does he really want to? Inspired by the Netflix movie, Single All the Way!

Fluffy, cozy holiday fic that was actually perfect.

aaaaaand that's a wrap for September!!! have fun babes <3

#gracie reads hannigram #fic recs #hannigram fic recs #hannigram recs #hannigram #hannibal #will graham #hannibal lecter #murder husbands #mads mikkelsen #hannigram fic #nbc hannibal #hugh dancy

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romana-after-dark · 2 years ago

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The Wrong Way: Chapter 8

Dark!Joel Miller x Fem!Reader Tommy Miller x reader (secondary)

Masterlist

Spotify playlist

Summery: You are sold to Joel to clear up some of your fathers' debts, and he takes you back to his house where him, Tommy, and high ranking members of his raiding trope stay. Joel is mean, cruel, and hash, but had small moments of softness that confuse you in your venerable state. Over time, you get to know him and Tommy, and see different sides of each, and both are hiding secrets. Was it possible to fall in love under these circumstances? Or was that just another way Joel was fucking with you?

Aka: my mom sold me to One Direction

WARNINGS FOR FULL FIC, NOT CHAPTER BY CHAPTER UNLESS SOMETHING NEW IS ADDED AFTER MASTER WARNING LIST: DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT!!!! Fic contains graphic depictions of sexual assault, rape, molestation, dubcon/non con. Blow Jobs, PIV sex, lose of virginity, sex trafficking, past incest, death/people dying everywhere, Stockholm syndrome, falling for your rapist, victim blaming, torcher, branding, physical abuse, rape (not Joel), somno, dub con on tommy? idk he's not really into it but feels like he has to, self-harm/depression/suicidal thoughts (not a lot) but fair warning, major age gaps, love triangle, pregnancy/birth, threats of abortion, major character death, mentions of potential csa/child abuse but does not even come close to happening, forced pregnancy, forced housewife shit, breeding, breeding kink?!?!

I wanna add we're really heavy on the birth/pregnancy, forced birth, choking, domestic violence, threats of hanging and murder. Can't say I didn't warning yuh (unless i missed a warning of course. then please let me know so i cant edit ASAP) Like this is a rough chapter, a lot of violence to a pregnant woman. but I wanna say right now...

The baby will not be harmed in anyway. Baby will be born healthy, and live and have a good life in both the main ending and alt ending.

5k words (sorry not sorry lol)

Also to clarify a few things I guess i didn't make clear enough in previous chapters!

Joel only 'guessed' that Tommy and LO slept together. He had suspicions but thought he could trust Tommy and his 'girlfriend'. When LO rushed to stop Joel from hurting Tommy, that was his 'evidence'. Joel was beating Tommy because he found out about Maria.

Joel only heard part of the conversation between Zach and Little One. Nick said way back in chapter 3 the wall are thinner than she thinks. He didn't know Lorenzo had any part of it, and because LO didn't rat him out, he never will.

Thats my bad for not being clear!

Can you catch the Superstore homage? (aka i rewatched two episodes just to take it line for line lol)

***************

Month 3

No one warned you about morning sickness.

You knew fuck all about sex before you came to Joel’s, just a thing or two from your friend back at the ranch and how to get a man off with your mouth or hands, but pregnancy and birth was next to nothing. You didn’t even know how pregnancy happened really, other than a penis in a vagina until you asked Tommy early on if you were going to get pregnant. After a very uncomfortable talk for both of you, Tommy explained that Joel told him he pulls out, so you should be good… Lorenzo said you can still get pregnant that way, but thinking back to the night Joel almost killed Tommy and you… Joel finished inside… the timing added up.

Pregnancy and birth were entirely unknown to you, and you wished someone would just give you a heads up. Joel had a daughter and no doubt had been through at least once pregnancy, and Lorenzo had mentioned 4 of his 6 older sisters got pregnant before leaving the house… something about no sex education, men too old for them, and their religion not believing in birth control or abortion… but you didn’t know what half those words meant, and after Lorenzo mercilessly made fun of you for days about not knowing Joel’s song for you was actually a very famous song, you didn’t dare ask him about the words, or anything with pregnancy. You didn’t want to ask Joel either, not wanting to give away how terrified you were, not wanting him to think you didn’t want to… But you did! You did want this baby, you reminded yourself again and again and again, because Joel was good to you, Joel took care of you, Joel would care for this baby too. You’d be bound to him, and he’d never get tired of you this way, and he wouldn’t hurt the mother of his child, right?

The birth was something you tried not to think about.

So here you were, puking your gut out before you even had breakfast and Joel held your hair back.

“Shhh, shhhhhhh” he coo’d and you heaved, yellow bile and acid coming up from inside you since the little food in your stomach from dinner had been thrown up 5 minuets ago.

With a final spit into the toilet, you sink back and Joel wipes your mouth for you. “I think that’s it.” You mutter, and Joel carries you into your shared bedroom, laying you down with the care of an infant before kissing your forehead.

“Don’t worry about breakfast, little one. I don’t need anything this morning.” He says before kissing your cheek. But you were worrying about breakfast, because you wanted it… but the only way you’d be getting food is if you made it. Tommy wasn’t here to care for you anymore. “I’ll be gone until the evening, what's for dinner?”

The thought of cooking, the thought of raw meats and the strong smells of spices made you want to vomit again. “I dunno…”

“I think a few of them chickens is ready to be butchered, you ever made chicken parmesan? We got that cheese I brought back yesterday, you could make something like that.”

You groan a bit, exhausted and tired despite being only 3 months in. You didn’t sleep at all last night, nightmares of the past and the future plaguing you. He knew that you didn’t sleep, you had told him… “Joel I can’t, the butchering, I feel so-”

“I’ll make Lorenzo do it.” He promises. “Chicken parmesan it is then?” He decided for you. What he didn’t understand is it wasn’t just butchering a few chickens. To make chicken parm you need chicken breasts, not the rest of it. You didn’t waste meat, so Lorenzo kills (you could do it on a normal day, but not with your heightened smell) then you pluck, clean, Lorenzo butchers, then you have to separate the different parts and put them into hygienic storage and take them to the freezer locker, then thoroughly clean yourself, all the tools and surfaces (and Lorenzo) to prevent illness. It would take hours. But Joel didn’t see that, he only ever saw the food at the end of his day.

“Okay” You agree reluctantly, and he begins kissing your neck and groping you, no doubt wanting a quicky before a long day of unspeakable violence. “Joel, please, I don’t feel good.” You beg him not to, but you learned in the past that this never got far.

His morning breath wasn’t helping anything as he tugged down your shorts. “I’ll be quick.”

You knew what that meant. Joel slid into you with no prep, no lubrication, and it burned. The steady rocking was the last thing you needed right now, and with his head buried in your neck, you covered your mouth as the nausea took over. You threw up, but like everything the last several months, you just swallowed it down again to deal with when Joel was gone. When he came inside (wasn’t he worried about you getting pregnant again?) you quickly pull up your pants and run to the bathroom, pushing past Lorenzo no doubt on his way to babysitting duties with you.

As he watched you run past and heard the sounds of throwing up, Lorenzo caught Joel’s arm as he brushed past. “Peppermint or ginger. Find it, whatever form it's in. Oils, drops, whatever. If you can find the leaves or the root we can make it into a tea. Just find it, it’ll help her nausea.”

Month 4

“Okay Lorenzo, I got a question for you, and you can’t make fun of me.” You say as you cook, the swell of your belly beginning to show now.

“No guarantees.” He says, sitting his drink. How did he find so much alcohol?

“Fine. Okay… when Joel and I have sex-”

He visibly cringed. “Since when do we talk about our sex lives?”

“Renzo.”

“Fine, go on. But remember I’m not exactly an expert on female anatomy.”

You take a deep breath. “Okay. Well I told you he always pulls out right? Um… ever since I told him im pregnant… he doesn’t.”

Lorenzo waits for you to continue, but you don’t. You think that’s it. “What the problem?”

You continue to avoid looking at him, stirring the soup. “Well.. what if I get pregnant again?”

He stares at you like he’s trying to make sense of your question before the recognition sets in. “OH!” But before he explains what he means… his face shifts… theres something sad in there, a hint of pain in his eyes you only saw once, the face he had as he looked at you in disgust while Joel carried you from the bedroom to the bath while you were covered head to toe in spit and cum and period blood… was it pity? “Jesus kid… No one really taught you anything, did they?”

“C’mon, just tell me.”

Scrubbing his face, he sighed. “No, you can’t get pregnant while your already pregnant.”

Oh. “Wait… really?”

“Yes, really.”

“Ah. Okay then.”

There was a long, long silence before he spoke again. “If you got any other question about, like… pregnancy and birth… I can try and answer.”

Joel had been trying to find a doctor, a midwife, something for you… but it was slim pickings in Wyoming.

Five minuets later, you were squealing, covering your ears, but laughing. “Ew! What the hell is a mucus plug! You know what, I don’t wanna-”

“IT’S A PLUG FULL OF MUCUS IN YOUR VAGINA WHAT DO YOU THINK IT IS?!?!” He yells loud enough to get past your attempt at blocking your ears.

“NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH!!! I CAN’T HEAR YOU!” But you still could.

“Honestly in the last month or two all kinds of weird things are gonna come out of you including but not limited to a very slimey and weird looking baby.”

You gasp, feigning indignance. “How dare you insult my unborn child!”

“It ain’t personal, sweetheart. All babies look ugly as fuck as newborns. Now, let’s get back to the gritty details.”

With a squeal, you try to run away. “No! I know enough!” But you’re laughing. It felt like you were messing around with Zach back in your childhood home.

“My sister Elaina lost like 4 teeth.”

“AAAHHHHH!”

Month 5

Joel had finally found a midwife of sorts. Well, technically, Jack did, as it was his cousin. Maura had been a nurse in the birthing wing a short time before everything went to shit and had been helping women deliver babies ever since. Initially, she told Jack to keep his mouth shut. She hated Joel and didn’t want a thing to do with him, but when no one else showed up and you were in your 5th month, she relented, purely for the sake of the innocent kidnapped girl.

“Put the fucking gun away, Joel.” She said as she entered your room, grabbing the barrel in Joel’s hands and pointing it to the floor. “Point that shit at me again and I’m not helping your child bride.” She stared him down, head tilted up only slightly to reach his eyes. If she was intimidated by Joel, she wouldn’t

Joel glared at her, but he didn’t have many options. “If you hurt her-”

“From what I hear, you’re doing enough of that yourself. Now, you stand up against the wall and watch if you want to, but don’t interfere, and do not try to intimidate me, understood?”

You watched in awe as she stood her ground… It had been months before you had done anything of the sort against Joel, only standing up to him when Tommy’s life was in danger. Joel gave a curt nod and she turn to approach where you lay, sat up against some pillows.

A gentle smile was on her face, but it was clear she was here for business. Still, her confidence and certainty put you at ease.

“My name’s Maura, I’ll be helping deliver this baby.” She was beautiful, with long black hair and a light smattering of freckles on her face, but got straight to the point. It was clear she knew what she was doing, asking you questions you hadn’t even thought of yet and examining you. When she was done, she stood up, looking at you, not Joel. “It seems despite the circumstances-”

Joel tried to interrupt. “The fuck’s that supposed to mean”

But Maura ignored him, keeping your attention with her bright brown eyes. “Despite the circumstances, everything appears to be progressing naturally, theres no cause for concern as of right now. But you need to keep things low stress.” It was then she turned to glare at Joel, to emphasize her point.

Maura said she’d be staying near-by and Joel was paying her a hefty price for her services. When you’d go into labor, Joel was to send a man on horse to fetch her, preferably Jack, but she warned she would armed, and she’d be there shortly.

That night, Joel held you close as you discussed baby names.

“How about Loretta? Like that singer you liked?”

Joel hums, none commital. “I always liked Dorothy, we could call her Dolly as a nickname. I know you like Dolly Parton” Joel had been teaching you about old country music, and you certainly had a few favorites. Not knowing many women in general, your pool of girl names was not strong so you drew from singers he’d mentioned.

You scrunch up your nose a bit at that. “I like Dolly, I don’t like Dorothy.”

“It was my grandmas name, I’d really like to name our daughter after her.” His voice had that tone to it, the one that left little room to argue, but you tried to push past Dorothy.

“Maybe June? Like June Carter?” You knew how particle he was to Johnny Cash, but also... that was the name of the only friend you had before Tommy.

“That’s beautiful, little one, June it is.” He smiles into your skin, and you think you’ve won, when he says. “Dorothy June.”

He had already decided, and there was no real option to argue or change his mind. You’d just call her Dolly, then.

You had one thing you really, really wanted for boy name, and you desperately hoped you could get it, but you couldn’t tell him why. You didn’t want any more kids so this was your only shot. You hadn’t even wanted this one, but as your stomach swelled with life, motherly love came with it and you decided you’d make the best of the situation. The child inside you was your number one priority. “Okay, boys? I really like Caleab… It’s my favorite boy name…” You didn’t have to tell him that was Zach’s middle name.

“I like it, bebita.”

You got what you wanted. You knew Joel was hoping for a girl, so you figured he was less particular on the boy name.

“Got any ideas for the middle name?” You ask him.

“Nothing in mind, really. I’m open…” He kisses your neck. “Anything you want?”

You keep quiet. The name you wanted… he’d never go for.

Joel pulled you closer, nuzzling his face against you as he whispered. “Ah. I see.” You freeze. Tommy hadn’t been so much as alluded to since he barely made it out alive and you thought for sure Joel would have a fit, and you began to prepare yourself to feel a hand wrapped around your throat… But he tucked your hair behind your ear and kissed into your locks as he settled down for bed. “Caleb Thomas”

Month 6

Lorenzo was getting on your fucking nerves today, and you were about to fling the frying pan, bubbling grease and all, at his face.

“Will you shut up?”

“No, I’m not going to shut up because you are being fucking stupid!” Instead of his usual spot sitting at the kitchen table, he’s standing, arms crossed, in the doorway as you tried to get diner done. “I told you the first day, you are a dumb. Bitch.” he was drunk, three sheets to the wind and absolutely no filter.

“You have no fucking idea what I am! I am trying to fucking survive, Lorenzo, I am trying to keep myself and this baby-”

“You are playing housewife to a serial murder and a rapist!” He yells at you, clearly frustrated. “You are rewarding all the bad things he’s ever done you just give positive reinforcement-”

“Don’t fucking blame me! I’m not reinforcing the bad, I’m reinforcing the good!” You storm over to him, glaring Lorenzo down. “You have no fucking idea how bad things were! I used to dream about killing myself, about dying, about Joel finally snapping and doing it! I am doing the best in the conditions I have!”

“You could have left! You could have left with Zach and gone off with him for fucks sake!”

With a burst of anger you didn’t know was even in you anymore, you shove him, hard, causing the drunk to fall over. “You wanna know what he did last time I tried to run? He caught me within 10 minuets, dragged me back and chained me to this table-” You point at the table that you and Joel sit at most evenings now for diner. “And raped me in front of everyone, Lorenzo! Then he branded me and left me to be gang raped by all your little buddies here! And no one could stop him, not even Tommy! All Tommy could do is stand by and watch, and unchain me after Joel left before anyone could do anything more!”

Lorenzo was not deterred. “That’s my fucking point!”

“If I leave and he catches me, I am dead!”

Scoffing, Lorenzo rolls his eyes from where he’s slumped against the floor. “Yeah, that’s why”

Unsure how much more you can take from him, you motion him to continue.

“You just don’t wanna admit you fell in love with your rapist.”

That was enough. You begin to walk away from him, but he follows after you.

“What about when you give birth, huh? What kind of father is he going to be? Are you going to stand by while he beats your kids?”

“SHUT UP!” You scream, still walking away.

“And what if you have a daughter? You just gonna let him molest her like your dad-”

You wipe around so fast you don’t even have time to blink. “No, Joel isn’t like that.”

Lorenzo laughs at you, cruel and loud. “You are 20 years younger than him, he raped you! You really think he’s above-”

“YES! He will not hurt her like that!”

“And if you have a son? Do you really wanna raise a man like Joel? The kind of man who beats and rapes innocent girls?”

Tears prickle at your eyes now, a terrible tightness in your chest bubbling with stomach bile. “N-no, that’s not gonna happen, I won’t let-”

“Oh, because you’ve had so much choice the last year, havn’t you. Sooooo much control.”

“I won’t.” You shake your head vigorously. “I won’t let anything happen to my baby, Joel won’t hurt them.”

“So, say he doesn't. You really gonna raise a kid here? Half the men here would’ve raped you, given the chance! You really think your child is safe here?”

You can’t argue with him when he’s right. But he doesn’t get it. Joel is good now, Joel protects you, Joel will protect the baby… Joel is gentle now… soft, kind… he thinks of you, he sings you songs… he plays music for you, he’ll be a good dad… You’ll be okay…

You shut down, going into autopilot. You don’t look at Lorenzo as you walk back to the kitchen to finish frying the chicken. Joel would be home soon.

Month 7

“JACK! GET MAURA!” Joel shouts as you groan on the bed, the tight contractions hurting.

“Joel, it hurts!” You call for him, and in a flash Joel is at your bedside, letting you squeeze his hand.

“I know, little one, I know…” He pets your hair, having flashbacks to Sarah’s birth…. He wanted another girl so bad, but god, he just wanted a healthy baby and for his girl to make it out alive. Birth was dangerous in modern medicine, nonetheless a post-apocalyptic shitstorm.

Lorenzo stood in the doorway, biting his nails. “You’re not due for another 8 weeks!”

Grunting through the pain, you let a rare bout of sarcasm slip. “Oh yeah, that’s right, never mind.”

“Could be false labor, you know? That’s called Braxton-Hicks contractions?” Lorenzo looked more nervous than you.

Joel ignored him. “It’s gonna be okay, Maura’s on her way and I think even out here 32 weeks is gonna be okay.” Joel wasn’t entirely sure about his own words. 32 weeks meant a premature baby, and pre-mature usually meant NICU… but there was no NICU to go to… if the babies lungs were under developed or anything like that, there were no options.

Lorenzo was chewing through his nails enough to draw blood. “Or maybe it’s Braxton-Hicks”

At that, Joel finally acknowledges Lorenzo. “Okay, we get it, you know the term Braxton-Hicks, we’re all very impressed.”

“AHHHHHHH” You yell, wishing to get there was something for the pain.

Lorenzo wouldn’t shut up. “Okay, contractions are getting longer, that means your in active labor?”

“Her water hasn’t broke yet!”

“Is she dilated?”

“Does it look like her pants are off to you?”

“Well check!”

“I don’t know how to tell! Weren’t you bragging last month you helped your sister give birth in a Walmart?”

“That doesn’t mean I know how to check if she’s dilated!”

“You know more than me!”

“I’m not sticking my fucking face between legs!”

“Oh, because you’re gay you’re suddenly scared of vagina’s?”

“What are you talking about?”

“So you’d rather let her just die?”

“DIE? Joel she’s not gonna die because I’m not looking at her fucking cu-”

“GUYS” you shout, causing both to turn and look at you. “The contractions stopped.”

There’s a moment of silence before Lorenzo speaks. “Oh. Huh. That’s uhhh… Braxton-Hicks I guess. False labor.”

As Joel kissed you that night, sex was the last thing you wanted, but you knew there was no point in fighting it.

Joel sucked on your throat, already bruised with dark marks from the night before, now sore and aching with new licks and bites, his hands roaming to expanse of skin presented before him. Gripping, feeling, pinching, tugging, some things felt good, some hurt, but that didn’t matter. He’d get you off, he always did, at night anyway, but you knew sometimes he just liked to feel you, feel what he owned. The pain is mine. Your cries are mine, your cunt is mine. And if you bleed? Your blood is mine.

Your belly round and swollen with child, he could not hardly keep his hand off it, every time his hand traveled to explore, it quickly found itself returning to its home, never wanting to miss a kick. He slithered down, nestling his face between your legs and devouring your pussy the way he did your neck, the way he did every piece of you, body and soul and until there was nothing left but this subservient version of you, weak and obedient to his hands. He lapped you up, skilled tongue exploring through your folds only pausing to nibble at the soft skin of your thighs or kiss the round stomach above him. He felt extra possessive today, a desperate, anxious way about him as he devoured you so hungrily you wondered if he intended to eat you, swallow you whole to keep you with him forever; a communion, and you were the eucharist, a matrimony of cannibalism.

You wanted to tug at his hair, you wanted to entangle yourself in him but your belly was in the way, so you simply laid back and enjoyed as he tongue fucked you, prodding at your entrance, his hands on the globe where your child waits to be born.

“Fuck, Joel, need you, need to cum, please.”

You beg for him, plead, and he devours. Joel knows you love when his perfect, plus lips such at your mound and your clit with long fingers fingering into you, and you yelp when they curl up and hit that spot inside you. “Keep moaning, little one, let me hear you.”

You obliged. Sometimes you wondered how sick everyone in the house was of hearing you, but they weren’t the ones you needed to please; pleasing Joel kept you alive.

“I need you inside me, please” Nudging him with your leg as you cry for his cock. “Joel, I gotta have you inside me, I need to cum on your cock, please? Please, Joel-”

A wet, sloppy sound as he detached from you, and his eyes looked just as hungry as he acted while he crawled up. “You beg so pretty, little one, such a pretty little cock whore.”

But you didn’t have time for his talking, you needed him inside you, now; the hormones of the pregnancy had a mind of their own. You take a chance and push him down, watching Joel smile as you straddle his waist. “God, I just- just need you.”

“The take me, little one, take me”

You cry out as you sink down onto him, feeling your cunt split on him. “Fuuuck!” Sobbing, you take him fully and begin to fuck yourself on him.

“Just like that, pretty girl, fuck, taking me so well, gonna have you all stretched out to have this baby, huh? Gonna give me a child, little girl? A baby of our own? Fuck, fuck you look so pretty like this, swollen with my child, stretching your stomach as I stretch your cunt, fucking perfect, my perfect wife.”

Wife.

Wife?!

You knew Joel was delusional… but fuck, Lorenzo was right… you were playing house wife. Joel thought of you as his wife…

“Gonna fuck you full of my cum, again, and again, keep you constantly knocked up, make our happy little family, you and me and a dozen little kids running around, FUCK, our family, our family.”

You continued the pace, you couldn’t falter, you couldn’t slow down, you couldn’t hesitate; you couldn’t give any sort of reason for him to think you didn’t want this…

But it suddenly struck you

You were trapped. Joel trapped you with a baby, knowing you’d need him to protect it, knowing you’d never leave your child… and now he was going to keep you pregnant. You could never leave with 5,6,7 kids, it would be impossible.

“Yeah, fuck yourself on my cock little one, just little that…” Joel reached out to touch you, roughly manhandling your tits that were swollen and engorged.

You begin to cry, but that wouldn’t give away anything for Joel; he fucking loved that shit.

One hand on your breast, one on your clit. “Cry on my cock, baby girl, cry when you cum.”

You did, you sobbed as you came, your body betraying the horrors you felt at his hands.

Month 8

“Hey Joel? Can I talk to you about something?”

You had to do it. You had to. And it had to be now. You two had fucked less than half an hour ago and he was currently eating your food, humming contently. He was always lovey-dovey after sex, and was always much happier after food… The pair didn’t line up often, so now was your chance.

“What’s on your mind, little one? Nervous about being a mother? You’ll be a great mom; I just know it.” He smiled at you with puppy dog eyes, looking up from his plate, and you couldn’t help smiling back, not when he showered you with compliments.

“Well… you’ve said before you wanted lots of kids… but we… well this little baby was an accident.”

“A miracle, not an accident.” Joel corrected you. You didn’t see how conceiving a child the night he was threatening to blow your brains onto a wall for sleeping with his brother if you didn’t shoot said-baby’s uncle was a miracle… but you digress

“Right. Well… we never really talked about more kids… and although I’m over the moon about this baby, I did initially not want to have it.” Joel’s face began to darken, but you powered through. “Maybe we could see how we feel about one kid after a few years before thinking about-”

Joel slammed down his silverware. “What are you trying to say.”

But you freeze. This was a bad idea, you needed to placate immediately, you needed to calm him down. “N-nothing, Joel, just thinking out loud.”

He stood up, a deadly, blank stare on his face, so far removed from the adoration as he bestowed kisses on your ever-growing belly. Joel walked around the table, standing behind you and placing firm hands on your shaking shoulders, leaning into your ear.

“You say’n you don’t want my kids? Don’t wanna be their mama? You don’t wanna be my wife?”

“No, no that’s not-” But you don’t get a chance to finish, his hand is wrapped around your throat and insane strength pulling you up and out of the chair, the wooden furniture toppled to the side in a loud clatter. He slams the back of your head against the drywall, you’re toes barely touch the ground; struggling to breath, you claw at his hand, but he doesn’t even blink.

The panic begins to set it.

“YOU ARE NOT IN CHARGE! YOU DO NOT GET TO MAKE CHOICES!” He screams, and out of the corner of your eye you watch as a few men hesitantly gather, like vultures waiting on the next piece of deadmeat. You couldn’t see who, but it didn’t matter. Even the good ones couldn’t intervene.

Joel’s face was suddenly right in front of yours. “Everything you have, any freedom, any luxuries, any power you think you have is because I have given it to you.” Black spots appeared, your vision blurring, sinking into the unknown and god, did it feel sweet. Was it finally over? “I bought you, I own you, you have no rights! You are nothing! You are nothing but a toy for me to play with, a breeding bitch and you should be so lucky to sit at my table!”

He let go, but as you gasped for breath, Joel yanked at your hair and patched you across the room, not letting go of his grasp on you as you flung into the counter. What he didn’t know, what he could never understand was how the handle of the draw rammed into the brand on your side. Suddenly, all sense, all rational went out the window, and you were violently thrust back to last year as he burned his initials into your skin. The flashbacks were triggered, and the result was nothing short of hysteria. You cry out for the only person who would step in.

“TOMMY!TOMMY!TOMMY!TOMMY!TOMMYYYY” You scream, the fact Tommy was miles away didn’t matter, nor did the fact this would only anger Joel more. This didn’t matter; you wanted him, no one but him, and all sense was knocked out of you.

Joel pulls you up by your hair and slaps you hard enough that you taste blood and screams at you to not say Tommy’s name, but you can’t stop, you scream and scream and scream for him to come save you and your baby, the precious little life inside you that has never done anything wrong.

You fight and claw and panic, hysterics drowning out the one or two voices telling Joel to stop; who they belonged to, you couldn’t say.

Joel stopped listening, and the voices grow louder as Joel drags you, kicking and screaming, outside; rope and a chair in his hand, your hair in the other, and Joel walked with long strides to a tree outside.

****************

YEEEEEEESSSSHHHHHHHHHHH Cliiiiiff hanger, hanging from a cliiiiiiffff thats why he's caaaaallled, Cliff Hangers!

Who else used to watch Inbetween The Lions? Anyway.

Who wanna guess what happens!

Only two chapters left!

For the sake of credit, if you didn't find the superstore reference or dont watch the show, most of the dialogue between Joel and Lorenzo and LO was between Amy and Jonah from two birth related episodes of superstore

Also, Maura is named after my dear dear friend @maura-honey who although is not generally a fanfiction girlie, made a tumblr so she could read, like and reblog this series and always sends me such lovely messages <3

Reblogs are the best way to spread and support, but comments mean the world. I know not everyone likes to share dark content on their blog, but even a kind anon is such support!

for those who voted you dont like or hate or Lorenzo, I hope that doesn't mean you hate him as n he's a bad character. I got a comment on AO3 that said "i cant tell if i like lorenzo or not, but i like him in the story" which makes sense! His victim blaming is really fucking shitty.

no poll today, sorry!

MoonBanana said they think LO copes by lying to herself until she beleives it, what do y'all think? is she as delusional as joel?

@my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @howaboutcastiel @tidlewav3 @bunnnyy-dummy @slutfortimotheechalamet @foggymoonbanana @dinsbaby @miraclesabound @jenna-ortega @primosworld @marclovers @threeheadedlamb @secretwriterpp @the-fox-den

@bitchyglitterfox @0bsessedwithfictionalcharacters @alloftheboysivelovedbefore @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @lunar-ghoulie @pedritosdarling @dreamonseems @alwaysdjarin @amoramorquetepintas @milla-frenchy

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fatcatlittlebox · 2 months ago

Note

I see so much discourse on X about Celeborn and as a multi shipper it's quite annoying. I don't think people realize that Haladriel isn't going anywhere. In fact, when you compare all the established canon couple fanworks against all the protagonist/antagonist (even anti-heros) fanworks in ALL SERIES/BOOKS/SHOWS/ETC TO EVER EXIST, there will always be more of the latter simply because of 2 reasons: the what if's to be explored and the forbidden aspect of it. I wish ppl would calm down. I also find it silly when I see my own mutuals dunk on Haladriel over the 'toxic' aspects and it bothers me too since I like both ships. Unlike Celedriel, you guys can take a Sauron & Galadriel relationship (in all sense of the word, not just in a pairing context) and take it in ANY direction you want, with enough creativity. You can write them as friends in an AU, or even before they became known by their names (like her meeting Mairon before he became Sauron). You can write S1 and S2 (even 3-5) divergence fics, redemption arcs, dystopia fics, crack fics, dead doves, or even fluff (like off-stage AU where they're not enemies off screen). Heck, since you guys got the mind palace thing, and with her growth over the ages, you can even find ways to make non-AU fluff/hurt&comfort (maybe when they're both tired of this endless fight of the ages because it's a stalemate and he wants to repent but he can't due to Morgoth's corruption and he knows it?). Haladriel has a cosmic connection, and I think this implies that even if one of them dies, it will still exist somehow even when they pass into the Undying lands. Haladriels don't understand how much advantage they have with being portrayed by actors with amazing chemistry, an established and growing fanbase, an entire season without any kind of background conflict that takes the focus away from them as their relationship was explored and developed, having it all: UST, 'acquaintances fighting alongside each other to become friends' and the 'friends-to almost?-to enemies' aspect, and there are even Tolkien's writings that confirm he is capable of redemption. I've even seen well-written fan theories on ways that he can redeem himself too. It's like star-crossed lovers baked into every kind of trope that ppl like to explore. Really, I don't understand how it's not obvious enough. Yes, she ends up with Celeborn, and they are happily married and their relationship is secure and comfy. I know that may sound boring to some, but that's why I like Haladriel too, because their relationship isn't confined to only one narrative, unlike Tolkien's works. Yes, you can argue that Haladriel has a doomship narrative because they don't end up together, but the appeal of doomships is that you can DO so much with it in fanon, even completely reverse it (as I've seen in fanfics already). If you tried to do something similar with an established canon ship where they are supposed to be happily married, it doesn't make much sense, unless it's for angst. Celeborn is just a humble normal elf and he doesn't have any that. He just trying to vibe, support Galadriel, and not piss anyone off lol. And I say all of that as a pro-Celeborn fan lol. Sorry for this long rant, I just wish they would leave my poor silver clam alone ;_; and for fans to stop fighting.

I agree 💯 with all of this. That’s why I can happily digest all forms of haladriel. Modern AU, canon divergence, coffee shop fluff, Sauron redemption arc, socially awkward Mairon. All of it. And thank peanut butter and bagels the fanfic writers in this fandom are bar none some of the best fucking writers I have ever read. We are so lucky.

#haladriel #saurondriel #my asks

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bucknastysbabe · 2 years ago

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your pegging fic with bucky was SO FUCKING GOOD. can you please do another one?? like im literally so into it i was drooling the whole time

as for plot, just making him cry again LOL and overall just having him be a mess because

we love that for him.

thank you thank you thank you!

Bro I am so sorry I have no clue how this escalated. You have another free Bucky railing fic that doesn’t include my brain going wild. But he do be crying and a complete mess. Thanks for asking and I hope you are at the LEAST entertained!

Goes along with Praise Kink

Shadowplay - Joy Division

Rating: Explicit

Word count: 3,882

Tags: TW‼️WHUMP, DEAD DOVE, UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS, OFF SCREEN SUI‼️, Everyone is crazy, the reader is having a Hydra Life Crisis, Lots of ass play, pegging(m!receiving), fem dom, reader is ace spectrum, Bucky is a crybaby overstimulated touchstarved Angel, praise kink, slight dacry, angst ANGST ANGSTTTTT, switching pov’s like me in bed, they do a little Russian it’s called they do a little Russian, Hydra!Reader

A/N: idk man I’m just a vessel, also just liked the idea of there being a lead up to Buckbuck being like I Cannot Compute Anymore You Assholes then his boyfriend Steve saves the day💞 HC: Pierce likes Bucky be in emotional pain so sends him to her thinking he’ll kill the reader. Translations under cut

Russian translations: Милый (dear), блять (bitch/whore), глупая девчонка (foolish girl), Малыш (baby/bb boy), Умница (good boy), да (yes), хуй (cock), Трахни меня (fuck me), командир (commander), Спасибо (thanks/ty), зимний солдат (winter soldier)

To the center of the city where all roads meet, waiting for you.

To the depths of the ocean where all hopes sank, searching for you

The asset knew he had to report to his Komandir. That’s what happened every mission. They tried to tell the asset that Rumlow was his handler now. Rumlow was not his handler. Komandir was. But she had been gone for some time and he needed her back. The strike team leader was reckless and too bloodthirsty, not calculating enough. The asset could not say that out loud.

He trudged through dark alleys and poorly lit streets, rain pelting down on his leather tactical gear.

Nice Komandir. She was nice. The asset had unregulated emotions for her. He needed maintenance badly. First, the asset must give the mission report to her. The fake handler would be monitoring for the asset now, with their dogs and strike team.

Strike team would not find the asset. He will return himself after reporting to Komandir. The asset got intel on her whereabouts. She was relocated in New York under a new alias. The asset could almost smell her, see her, if he focused enough.

His boots slapped through a puddle before launching up a fire escape. The rain poured down harder— threatening to fill up the alley like an ocean. The asset would swim until his lungs gave out. The Director couldn’t take her away, putting her in an swarm of people or in the deepest cave. Because the asset would find her. She had to be locked up. She would never leave the asset.

They took her— he’d decided earlier after reporting to the pretender. The asset’s morale was sinking fast under Rumlow. That’s when the Director informed the asset on his Komandir. The Director had waved a hand dismissively, “Go find her then, do what you must and come back.” He didn’t understand but went out anyways.

I was moving through the silence without motion, waiting for you.

In a room with a window in the corner, I found truth.

Soldat climbed higher and higher until he was outside her window. He’d memorized it over and over and over and over. The asset grappled onto the thin balcony with a jump, using the moment to swing himself onto the platform. His covered eyes gathered the limited surroundings. A couple of flowerpots, an ashtray on the windowsill, and her familiar face gaping in the window.

The asset wanted to weep, kneel, receive her perfect touch. The asset only got stabs, bloody thrusts, and punches between his bloodshot eyes. Then wiped and put on ice. Although he hadn’t been put on ice much since transitioning to the United States. They had lots of people to get rid of before that. So the Director wiped him more often.

The window opened and her familiar rasp rang out in the rainy night, “Sweet soldier. You must be cold. Come in.” The asset nodded dumbly, shoving himself precariously through the window, contorting his broad shoulders and thighs to get through. Inside was a silent, thinly furnished room.

Cigarette stubbed beside the couch, the television playing something. His blues caught on a blanket and book, her handgun laid on top. Air blew the curtains softly from the window in the corner. The asset whimpered, “Where did you go Komandir?,” he fell to padded knees, “I cannot comply when Rumlow doesn’t have clearance for mission report.”

She cooed and stood tall as always, only clad in a thin gown. Komandir’s lips turned down at the mention of Rumlow. Her hands brushed his cheeks. Off came the goggles, then the mask. The asset’s wide blue eyes followed her obediently. One of her calloused thumbs strummed against his stubbled jaw. She said, “Sweetheart, I’m not officially your handler, not your Komandir anymore.”

He nuzzled into her hand, lips already wobbling. Why would they replace the best Komandir? She learned from Vasily Karpov, Vasily from…from. He couldn’t remember— there had been so many. One that smelled of aftershave and two older men with glasses that made him feel very cold.

She sighed, “They said I wasn’t worth their time sweet boy. I had to go.” The asset believed her, Komandir always told the truth. She knelt down and smiled, tears welling in her eyes. “You’re a star, precious, you shine so bright that not everyone can keep up with it.”

He replied, a ghostly whisper if anything, “The left me to Agent Rumlow. You couldn’t stay under him?”

Fear laced her stern features for the first time. The asset grew uneasy. His programming was screaming, “Maintenance! MAINTENANCE!” Her heart rate spiked rapidly while the agent fumbled for words. He gripped her wrist to bark, “You defected then! You defected like a coward and left me,” a sob tore his throat, “with them!”

His silver hand wrenched Komandir‘s other wrist towards him, her grunting in pain. Her breasts heaved as she panted. The asset glared her down, so many emotions swirling he felt he may explode. She lied to him. Why would she lie to him? Her star.

“Soldat. Status Report please,” she quavered.

Soldat’s tight shoulders relaxed minutely as he listed off, “Physical functions one-hundred percent. Maintenance required as soon as possible. Confusion, dangerously elevated norepinephrine, panic, traumatic response, and- and-,” he bit his tongue to stare. Komandir’s face was wrought with grief.

She murmured, climbing into the asset’s lap, “I need you to slow down comrade. It’s just you and me right now,” she pet his long locks to elicit that chest deep purr, “Can I tell you what happened while I get you clean sweet boy?”

The asset’s lids dropped at her soft body, familiar scent, and wise words. His plump lips trembled while whining, “P-please. I-I’m becoming…defective.”

“I know,” she soothed, “I know.”

In the shadowplay, acting out your own death, knowing no more.

As the assassins all grouped in four lines, dancing on the floor.

As the former agent pet her broken star her chest constricted with emotions. Pierce knew. The bond between asset and handler had grown entirely too close. He’d spat at her, “That thing is a weapon, not a puppy for you to coddle.” She wanted to tell the Director that a person could only go so long under this treatment before snapping completely. Render them useless to the plan. Whatever that may be.

Surprisingly Pierce had demoted her down to the lowest strike team squadron and elevated the prick Rumlow to be the next handler. The Director’s shiny teeth looked like fangs as he spoke, “I’ll keep you around because of your…skills. Any infractions you’re dead.”

So the former Komandir was a grunt again, under Strike Team Omega. They mainly went around sabotaging small terrorist cells. Soldat whined under her hand again, the woman tilting his wide eyes up. She frowned. Poor baby looked so broken, so lost. He had no clue he was going to leave here without his Komandir.

“Take off your gear, precious,” she ordered.

The Russian divested soldat of his guns and knives, laying them out on a neat line. She asked, “How much are they putting you on ice sweet boy?” His blues grew disoriented as he thought. Mechanical as ever, Soldat’s hands divested his leather top.

“Not much. More wipes. Something is coming.”

Something was coming. Maybe not now but in a couple of years. Pierce had something big. There was a reason scientists were holed up in one the hangars, crews building day and night. So they were over-using the soldier to make sure nothing crept out.

She thumbed the seam of scars along the asset’s prosthetic, the other’s hands jolting at the sensation. His pretty lips opened to whimper. Komandir unbuckled his belt and hummed, “They demoted me. I was with a lower strike team. I couldn’t take it anymore. W-without you I cannot provide anything useful for the greater cause.”

The woman remembered her last point. They were in Zagreb celebrating after a arms dealing commune was torn to shreds. Instead of going home, the team helped themselves to the women in trafficking. Assassins, warriors— dancing fools with these broken women. The former handler left and didn’t look back. She knew nothing. Hydra had a purpose once. It grew rancid just like everything else.

And with cold steel, odor on their bodies made a move to connect.

But I could only stare in disbelief as the crowds all left.

Alone in the world again. The Komandir wandered and wandered. Somehow always getting roped back into the underbelly of civilization. She told the silent asset about it. He seemed just as lost contemplating free will.

“I joined a couple of syndicates, former KGB, some widows. I moved around the states and just found no one had a goal. I just try to get by now, my sweet. It’s not pretty out there.”

She wiped her nose, “And to think I’d always dreamed of having you to myself forever. Sick. Selfish.”

I did everything, everything I wanted to.

I let them use you for their own ends.

Tears welled in Komandir’s eyes. She pulled his huge frame close and cried into greasy hair. “I should have got you back, kept you safe, get Hydra back to stage one,” her voice cracked, “I don’t know. I just ran and left them to break you down even more. I-I-I-I’m so sorry Милый, I’m so sorry.”

The Russian knew how this would end. She would die and be a remnant of something unattainable. Perfect was unattainable. Soldat was the closest she would witness and that’s enough. She stroked his wide back with gentle circles, sobs dying.

Soldat’s voice was a dull rasp in the pitch room.

“What would you have me do, Komandir?”

He looked so hopeful. Rage filled her heart, cracking and blistering from exposure. Run with me, start anew, kill that блять Pierce. The woman sat back and put on a smile. She purred, “I would have you relax and let me take care of you, sweetness.”

The asset nodded, unlacing his boots, plates in his arm clacking and humming. The woman thumbed his delicate nose, the thin skin under a once bright blue eye. She whispered, “Such a pretty soldat, perfect soldat.” Silent tears slid down her face. Vasily was probably in a hideout shaking his head. глупая девчонка.

She said, “I’m going to get the bath running, just lay your clothes out and join me,” she shushed his panicked noise, “Just around the corner Малыш.” She padded through the small apartment, ignoring the state of it. Soldat likely cared.

The former agent ran it scalding hot, throwing some lavender in there. She readied a towel and fluffed it. The bath tub was small, but she wanted to pamper her perfect star anyways. She worried her lip, he seemed to be cracking, bad. Too much time off ice and repeated wipes have not been studied. Komandir had never heard him speak so much, all that raw emotion.

Soldat’s hulking frame shadowed the doorway. Knelt down the Komandir beckoned him over. He gracefully clambered into the tub, sitting down with a grimace.

“Too hot?”

“No. I like it hot,” he murmured.

Her eyes roved the beauty of his body, stopping on heated cheeks, full lips, bulky chest, and that beautiful cock. It laid on his belly, a deep red and leaking. His balls were tight but she could see the stress, the heaviness of it. Supersoldiers needed to cum much more than the average man.

The woman grabbed a cup and dunked it to fill it up. Her other hand cupped his knee, thumbing the soft inside. Soldat whimpered again, dark lashes fluttering. She poured the water over his oily dark hair, doing it again until it was soaked.

“Lean up baby.”

She poured some cheap shampoo into her palm, lathering it up. The asset groaned deep in his chest at the contact— nails scritch-scratching away the oils and dirt. He stated, “I’m not supposed to remember you.” His watchful orbs looked up.

“You’re not supposed to remember that you’re not supposed to remember, Умница.”

He bit down on his lip and warbled, “I’m s-scared Komandir. I don’t know what’s happening to me.”

You’re falling apart.

“Shh, baby, in the moment now, in the moment.”

He stilled but Soldat’s eyes had that ingrained wide-eyed fear. She washed the suds out and combed through the tangles, earning some pretty sighs. The Komandir found herself lecturing, “What the Americans do not get…you have to make sure your weap- agents are clean and cared for.”

She hissed while scrubbing his wide shoulders and neck, littered with yellowed bruises, “They don’t take care of their prized fist, that’s why poor soldat is feeling down.” He nodded along, shoulders relaxing minutely. Komandir washed down his arms, digging out the blood encrusted into the plates.

She did the rest methodically: Wash the feet, move down to the toes, calves, thighs. Stop. Soldat was mewling and squirming, face trained on her. His lips wobbled, brow furrowed in agony. The asset whined, “Komandir, please, need your touch, help me.” She ran a hand slowly down his trembling belly, palming the swollen cock.

“Soon, Малыш,” she promised.

His bitten lips pouted, but her good boy always listened. She stated, “I was blind that Hydra would keep the original goal alive. I felt more confident leaving knowing that. But I was wrong, sweet baby. You’re the key and they don’t know it.”

Komandir pulled out a straight razor and shaving cream. She shaved his stubble while continuing, “You will be the one to change Hydra. Burn it into the ground or rise above the sham it’s become. That’s your reality, and the time will come. You must not fail now dear soldat.”

He steeled himself, relaxing under orders, vague as they are. She knew Soldat knew he had to wait for the perfect moment. The brunette thanked her in the softest voice when she wiped off his newly cleaned cheeks. The woman cooed, “Never seen a prettier baby. Turn over so I can get everything.”

By the time she’d cleaned and prepped the soldier out he was a mess. He’d come once already, scrabbling at the tile and wailing in ecstasy. Poor thing wasn’t done. Now dry, her perfect soldier rutted against her soft, soft thigh. His pink lips were sealed around her nipple, whining and suckling.

She pulled at his long locks and said, “As a gift,“ she tapped his cleft chin, “Do you want your Komandir to fuck your sweet hole?” The Russian wouldn’t mention it was a final gift. He babbled in multiple languages but the message was clear— fuck me. She smiled down at his teary cheeks and cooed, “Eager baby. I’ll show you what it’s like to be fucked. Not like those jackasses.”

“Mmmh-pleaseee,” the brunette wantonly begged. He rutted against the bedding while the Komandir moved to a chest in the room. The asset drooled, spreading his thick thighs to draaag his achy cock against the too-soft material— eliciting an annoyed whine.

“Almost there my star,” she laughed. There were some noises of clipping and leather. To their ears it sounded like a gun belt or harness of sorts.

She clicked the heavy black silicone into place. There was no other side to stimulate the woman. Same as it always was, it was her precious boy’s pleasure to take, not her own.

Ambling over to the bedside she asked, “Front or back sweetheart?”

“Front, front, front!,” he babbled.

“Okay. When you see me and change your mind just say so baby.”

He made a confused gesture but flipped onto his back, exposing that pretty pink cock again. Drool actively collected on his plump lips at the sight of Komandir’s strap. He obviously had never seen anything like it. Scarred hands gave it a slow stroke, fingers barely able to meet around the girth.

“Well?”

The asset whined her name thinly, begging for her to take him. She climbed upon the bed one knee at a time, hand on the cock, eyes heady and glued on the trembling soldier. She purred, “Are you sure you want it? Reaaaally think baby boy, there’s freedom of choice under all that mess.”

She tried to play it across seductively but the true meaning was laid bare. Soldat’s eyes flicked about the heavy silicone, throat bobbing in anticipation. He began to speak, faltered, frustrated tears welling up. Finally with his head down the soldier croaked, “Please, want you, please.”

“I’ve got you.”

To the center of the city in the night, waiting for you.

She stripped off the gown and tossed it to the dingy carpet. The woman crawled between his legs and kissed a path up to his waiting mouth, puckered tightly. He was vibrating with need, huge arms circling around Komandir’s slim waist. He closed the gap, licking into her open lips.

The woman seized Soldat’s throat with a loose grip, just to stabilize the inevitable freefall. The brunette’s lips were insistent, demanding— like he was trying to take her soul. She moaned lowly, twisting around his probing tongue easily, lips wetly smacking. She nipped his lip playfully, squeezing his veined throat.

The soldier cried out, teeth gnashing against hers as he kissed and kissed and sucked. The soft skin of Komandir’s belly rubbed against Soldat’s achy need, sending pin pricks of pleasure to overstimulated nerves. When she suckled on his tongue, the titanium arm shifted with a shrill whine.

She pulled back breathless, patting the hand once round Soldat’s throat on his sweaty chest. He mewled in frustration, rutting his cock into the air, no release on the horizon. The Russian cooed, “More kisses soon needy boy. You want my cock in you, да?”

Soldat nodded, tears dripping like a leaky faucet down his red red cheeks. The assassin spread his legs wide open, tucking heels against the meat of his ass. Komandir crooned, “Look at you, precious thing, all open and ready for my хуй.”

“Трахни меня! Fuck me!,” he sobbed.

She shushed him with a slight slap to a muscular thigh, wrapping them up around her hips afterward. A once-manicured hand guided the fake cock to the asset’s pink hole, glistening and ready with slick. He babbled, “Oh please- need it, командир, please!”

Without a pause she jabbed the entire length into his eager ass, pretty soldat crying in relief, ripping his big hands through the shitty sheets. She thrust into him deeper, before pulling out with a lurid squelch, then diving back in twice as hard.

The Komandir poured all over her anger, heartache, stupid stupid love, agony into the brutal fucking. The asset’s brown locks bounced around as he drooled and moaned like a slip of a thing getting her pussy split in half. He was in paradise. The woman grunted, smoothing her palms up his ridged torso, “Singing so sweetly baby, you feeling good star?”

“Y-yes,” he choked on his spit, “Gonna cum!”

She cocked her head in surprise, not missing a beat, “So soon, after I milked you out in the tub too? Greedy babe.” More tears leaked at the humiliation, the asset pulling her on top of his writhing body. He nuzzled into her sweaty hair, panting, “Mmmfuck, more, always more, never enough from you Komandir.”

Finding her own eyes growing wet the woman fucked him harder, shaking hand rolling his still swollen balls around. The asset mewled in her hair, getting it sticky with spit. His back was tightly arched as he clung to her. Behavior one wouldn’t see out of a six foot, two-hundred something pound killing machine.

He whimpered, “M’cumming, cumming for you, fuck!”

She seized his newly shaved chin and pressed damp foreheads together. The Russian breathed, “C’mon then, paint me up my precious. Good boys like you get to cum all they want.” He fell apart beautifully, all violent twitches of big muscles and the bloody biting of lips. Cum plastered her belly and even tits. The asset cried for his Komandir, trembling as she licked his tears up.

A feeling of time slipping struck the woman in the chest. In a fervent frenzy she coaxed him onto his belly, the soldier still dazed from the earlier release. The woman propped his ass up, praising the greatest creation of Hydra through her tears.

Die between his beautiful thighs.

She slid back into his sore hole, thumbing around the rim as she watched the stretch. Soldat snuffled, “Спасибо, Спасибо, Спасибо.” The brunette rutted back onto her brutal thrusts, bracing himself on his arms. Constant noises dried his mouth out but everything felt so good. His Komandir, back again to take care of the asset.

The Komandir was drilling his sweet spot dead-on now, moaning softly in delight. She pulled at her precious baby’s engorged cock and cooed in his ear, “Taking me so well, that’s my boy. I love you. You’re going to do big things,” he sobbed and spread out sluttily, “Bigger than me, Rumlow, Director, the whole lot of them.”

The asset was mewling and babbling, nose runny from how overwhelmed his body was. Everything felt like it was getting fucked on his touchstarved body. The cum getting forced out of his balls was spreading all over Komandir’s bed. But he was listening to her words, trying to, hard when he was about to explode.

“Promise me зимний солдат,” she whispered, “Promise me that when the chance comes you take it, okay sweetling? Do it for your Komandir who loves her star very much.” The woman couldn’t hide the crack in her voice at the end. Those gorgeous blues gazed at her like she was good, whole, someone who hung the moon and stars.

“глупая девчонка”, Vasily would say.

The woman kissed his blubbering lips to stop herself from crumpling. He panted, “I promise, I promise Komandir. I will cuh-comply.” He was puffing out weak cries now, twisting underneath her clumsy strokes. She swiped her thumb over the red hot tip of the asset’s cock and watched him spill for a third time, crumpling with a cracking wail. Only a bit spurted out this time.

The Komandir pressed her lips to the center of his spine, chest heaving. She sounded like a broken machine at this point. “Promise me, promise me precious star.” He wept, “I promise, I do, I love you, always follow my Komandir.”

The once prideful woman knew that was the last words her boy should utter. She eased out of his overtaxed hole, shushing him and holding on to that sweet little mewl for dear life. She took off the harness, aware of the soldier waiting. The woman would cuddle up for now, letting the soldier gather her up in his warm embrace. She snuggled tight, imprinting this moment into her soul.

His breath petered out into slow puff, mumbling ‘love you’ sleepily. The Komandir slid from his embrace, padding to the kitchen. Her heart was eerily calm. She knew this had to occur for the greatest creation of Hydra to rise above. His pain would fuel the fire of the future.

She scrawled out a letter, sweet as could be, apologizing for everything. The woman knew she deserved death. She wouldn’t make him do it. Ripping off the Hydra insignia necklace she kept on her neck was placed on the letter.

The woman moved the the couch and grabbed the gun. Shift, click, pray for me soldat, pull.

To the center of the city in the night, waiting for you.

#READ THE TW AND TAGS #answered asks #bucky is touch starved #ws bucky gets his ass rammed #winter soldier x reader #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes x reader #hydra trash party #hydra reader #angsty angst angst #songfic

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xdaddysprincessxx · 1 year ago

Text

The Cabin in the Woods lll

Dave York x f!reader

Dead dove/dark fic, dubcon, gun kink, oral (m & f receiving) piv (wrap ya wily, we don’t want babies) 1 slap, 1 spit in the face, breeding ish kink, reader is also manipulative in a way wink wink, I think that’s it let me know if I missed anything!

Summary: Back down in the basement, your forced to be alone with your thoughts. And your thoughts seem to be focused solely on the mystery man . . .

Warnings:

A/n: Part tres amigos! I am absolutely enjoying writing these two little devils! I’m not sure how many parts this is actually gonna have, in all honesty I’ve just been vibing and going off of that lol but I am planning another series soon so check out the little teaser I made

Ever since the man brought you back down to the basement, your time at the cabin hasn’t been terrible. He’s been consistent with bringing you food and water regularly. Every few hours or so he comes and brings you upstairs to use the bathroom almost treating you as if your a dog he has to let out. The makeshift pallet you’ve been sleeping on is rather cozy if you ignore how hard the unforgiving cement floor is. The two of you never exchange words, the man mostly just grunts at you with the occasional kick to your side if your asleep when he comes down.

After what feels like a century, you’ve finally had enough. You’ve gone stir crazy being stuck down here. No one to talk to and nothing to entertain you except your thoughts, you’re ready to go postal on the man. It doesn’t help that your last encounter keeps replaying in your mind on a damn loop. Your no longer scared as much as you are pissed and horny. Two things you know for certain: 1) you want out. Now. And 2) you want the man to fuck you hard again.

Your ears perk up when you hear the man’s footsteps come towards the basement door, causing you to sit up ready to beg him to hold you hostage upstairs. You have a plan you’ve been thinking of for awhile now and now it seems is time to put it in action.

As Dave descends to the bottom of the stairs he flicks the light on and can’t help but notice how your sitting there almost as if you’ve been waiting for him. Pretty doe eyes look up at him all innocent like. Looking very much like a pure little angel that he very much wants to defile over and over again. Walking over to where you sit, he bends over sitting a plate and cup down grunting at you as if to say ‘Here, eat”

“Thank you sir. I appreciate everything you do for me.” You say sweetly hoping to butter him up a little.

“Uh huh.” Dave replies, suspicious as to why your thanking him. I mean I have done a lot for her. Kept her alive when I should’ve gotten rid of her especially after she ran from me, he thinks.

“May I ask you a question sir?” You ask quickly, hoping to get the ball rolling on this plan of yours.

“What is it?” the man barks out.

“What’s your name? If I’m stuck here with you I’d like to know who I’m stuck with.” You say using your sweetest voice, really laying the sweet angel act on thick.

Raising his eyebrow, he looks you up and down with a quizzical look on his face. “Dave. My names Dave.” He responds, feeling fine with giving you his real name knowing you will never leave this cabin alive.

“Dave, I like that name. Well it’s nice to meet you Dave.” His name rolling off your tongue, you can’t help but think of screaming his name while he takes you from behind.

You start to sit up on your knees as you lean forward on your hands crawling towards Dave, “Dave I must say I am very grateful for everything you do for me. But there is something else.” You say seductively as you look up at him with a sensual expression. Bringing your hand up, walking your fingers up his leg, “Can I please come back upstairs? I’ll be good I’ll do whatever you want. I’ll give you whatever you want.” You tell Dave suggestively.

“Ah I see. So you think you can look at me all innocent like, ask me my name and practically moan it out loud when I tell you, only to beg me to let you out of the basement?” Dave says as he bends down to your level, face to face, “What happened to ‘thank you for everything sir.’ ? You should be grateful I’ve let you live you stupid little girl.” He practically spat in your face.

Spitting in his face, “Fuck you!” You yell. In a split second after you said that, Dave raises his hand and slaps you hard across your face, “ You fucking bitch!” Dave yells back as he wipes your spit off his face, only to then grab you by your chin and force you to look at him.

“You wanna act like a silly, little girl and beg, then fucking beg.” He says threw gritted teeth. Roughly he shoves your face to the side as he lets go of your chin. Feeling hurt and your ego a tad bruised, you cast your eyes down unsure if you should actually beg like he said or keep quiet. The wetness pooling in the boxers he lent you is undeniable. That slap turned you on.

Dave stands back up and grabs his gun out of his holster on the back of his pants.

Using the barrel of the gun, he places it on your cheek and tilts your head back up so your looking at him again. “Open your mouth.” He orders. Terrified, you do as he says and you open your mouth.

Dave slowly caresses your face with his gun before he traces your open mouth with the barrel. “Such a pretty fucking mouth. Too bad you like to use your teeth.” Dave says as he starts to put the barrel of his gun in your mouth.

Shocked, you just keep as still as possible. The man put a fucking gun in your mouth! Dave put his gun in your mouth!!! So why the hell do you feel the need to please him and put on a little show? Show him how good you can suck his gun and maybe you’ll earn some of his trust and he’ll give you a taste of his cock again. You tighten your lips around the barrel and begin sucking on his gun. The cold taste of metal floods your tastebuds only spurs you on more. Bobbing your head up and down the length of the barrel you dare to look up to see Dave watching you through half lidded eyes.

“Fuck look at you. What a filthy little girl. Sucking on my damn gun like it’s a cock. Is that what you want sweetheart? You want my cock again?” Dave says in a low, baritone voice.

Keeping the gun in your mouth, you shake your head yes as best you can while keeping eye contact with Dave.

Grunting, Dave slides the gun out of your mouth while he unbuckles his pants to reveal his thick cock, already an angry red and very hard, all for you.

Your eyes widen with lust ready to swallow every inch he gives you. Before you even move the tiniest centimeter towards him, he puts his gun up to the side of your head.

“Aht before you suck my cock just know my gun will stay right here. You try anything and I mean anything and I will shoot you.” Dave growls at you. As scared as you are, feeling his gun rest on your temple has you getting even wetter. Licking your lips, you move towards Dave reaching out to grab his thick member. This time your able to get an even better look at him. The prominent vein going down the entire length of him on the side as it curves underneath. The head is an angry red with drops of precum already leaking from the slit. You drop your jaw and welcome his smooth cock into your mouth. His musky scent filling your nostrils while your tongue flattens underneath his cock. Bobbing your head up and down, you quickly found a nice rhythm, twirling your tongue around his cock while going up and down his length. Looking up again with tears threatening to fall from your eyes as you push yourself to go all the way down to the base of his dick.

“Fuck that’s right baby swallow every fucking inch just like that.” Dave purrs as your lips and nose hit his dark patch of curls.

After enjoying the warm heat of your mouth deep throating his dick for a little bit longer, Dave pulls you off his cock by your hair. Saliva strings connect you to him as you take a deep gulp of breath in, your chest heaving up and down. Wordlessly Dave shoved you down causing you to fall back on your butt, he gets down on his knees, completely level with you now. He grips your knees pulling your legs apart as he runs his nose down your thigh towards your pussy. As he reaches your mound, he rubs his nose over your mound and takes a deep breath, reveling in your sweet scent.

Sitting up on your elbows, you look down at Dave’s head in between your thighs in disbelief. You didn’t take him for a man who ever went down on a woman much less enjoyed it. Unable to hold it back any longer, you let out a soft moan as Dave kissed your lips. He took no time in pulling down the boxers covering your sweet, sweet heaven. Once bare Dave dove back in and started exploring your pussy with his tongue. He licked up and down your slit a few times, stopping to swirl around your clit. After a few swirls his lips attached to your clit and started to suck.

Unable to believe the scene in front of you, you couldn’t help but reach down and pull on his thick locks as you moaned so sweetly. Bringing a deep guttural moan from Dave as he continued his assault on your pussy. In no time you were already close. Maybe it was part of the fact you were constantly turned on thinking about Dave and how he felt when he fucked you. Or the other night when he helped you cum as he came on you. But you were loving this. Throwing caution to the wind you started to buck up in his face as you held onto his hair keeping right where you want him.

Growling, Dave grips your thighs, keeping you spread open as his tongue enters your pussy, fucking you open on his tongue. He can feel you clench, suspecting you were close already, this confirmed it for him. Going back up to your clit he starts going back and forth on swirling around your clit and sucking it.

That does it for you. Feeling yourself fall over the edge, you began cumming hard onto Dave’s face. “Oh fuck oh fuck yes yes please don’t stop oh god yes!” You practically shouted.

Enjoying the fruits of his labor, Dave greedily sucks up every ounce of your sweet nectar that he can. All too soon his mouth leaves your pussy as he looks up at you like an animal about to attack it’s prey. Soon you feel his massive hands slide up to your hips and toss you over onto your stomach treating you like a rag doll. As if you couldn’t get any wetter, your pussy gushes even more at the rough treatment.

Before you even get a chance to get up on your knees you feel Dave’s body cover yours and without warning he fills you to the brim with his cock. Splitting you open, feeling the sweet burn of being stretched wide, he gives you no time to adjust before he’s pumping in and out of your sweet heaven. Your whole body feels as though it’s been set on fire and you love it.

Pinned down by Dave’s body all you can do is make a deep, guttural grunt as you lay there and take every punishing thrust of his hips. “Fuck that’s it baby. This sweet fucking pussy keeps sucking me in. Gonna milk me dry. You want my load in this fucking pussy little girl? Huh?”

Unable to even speak you nod your head as best you can because good god you want his cum deep inside you. You know you shouldn’t enjoy any bit of this but you do. Oh god you do. You love when he’s mean to you, when he calls you names and even more when he manhandles you however he wants and makes you take everything he gives you.

“Nng fuck yes fuck yes you do. You want my fucking load baby you’re gonna take it. Keep every fucking drop in this pussy.” Dave all but moans out as he saw you nod your head yes. Loving how depraved and filthy you are. In the back of his head he’s already decided he’s going to keep you. You’re his now whether you like it or not. All too soon he feels his balls tighten up and after a few more thrusts, Dave starts coming deep inside you.

Feeling his cock pulse inside you, you can’t help but moan at the feeling of being filled. A tiny voice in the very back of your head almost hoping his seed will take, wanting to keep a part of him with you forever. And you suspect if it does take, there’s no way he would harm you if you were pregnant with his child, right?

All too soon, you feel him pull out of you, leaving you feeling empty and used. Catching your breath you slowly begin to roll over as you watch Dave pull his pants up and put his gun back in the holster.

Once Dave’s decent again, he grabs the key out of his pocket and goes to unlock the cuffs around your ankles. Pulling you up by your arm, he leads you back upstairs.

After being brought back upstairs, Dave takes you to the bedroom and leaves to grab a wet washcloth to clean you up. Carefully he reaches down and swipes ever so gently leaving you feeling so confused as to why he’s suddenly being so careful with you.

“You can stay up here with me as long as you can behave. The first time you wanna act like a cunt you’re going back down do you understand me?” Dave informs you as he throws the washcloth in the hamper by the door. Shaking your head vigorously, “Yes sir of course. Thank you.” You answer quickly before he can change his mind.

Nodding toward the bed, Dave pulls the comforter down as if to say get in. You crawl into the bed and lay down as he pulls the covers over you. Turning off the light, Dave walks around the bed to the other side and crawls in next to you. Soon enough you find yourself drifting off to sleep, feeling rather content laying next to your captor.

A/n: All comments/reblogs/likes are greatly appreciated and I love seeing everyone enjoy this story!! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for loving my first born😇

#pedro pascal #dave york #dave york x reader #dave york x female reader #dave york x you #dave york smut #spicy smut #tw dubcon #dead dove 🕊️#dark fic #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal cinematic universe #the equalizer

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kewpidity · 5 months ago

Note

answer every question on the proship ask meme POP QUIZ [or is it pro quiz??] i wanna knoooooow

@teacupballerina @hopscorched @emile-hides

sorry it took so long to get to these! gonna post em all together and give two answers where it makes sense since some of these are repeats!

1.) What is your favorite problematic theme/trope that appears in a lot of your ships?

its literally so basic in the grand scheme of problematic stuff, but i love a teen girl x older man, especially when she's in charge lol. i also like things like 'damning secret' (basically people going through forced proximity because they both know something they'd get in a lot of trouble over if it got out) or just forced proximity in general also a fan of one of the characters going insane with covetous love and lust that drives them to do all kinds of fucked up shit about it and also! a handy chart of one of my All Time Dynamics, kid x creature (im counting pompep)

↷↷↷

2.) Are there any problematic tropes that squick you out?

i dont really like anything involving cheating, DV, or hardcore rape/assault, feels bad man

3.) First problematic ship since you joined the proship community?

tbh ive never really Not been proship, it was the only logical thing to me, so this answer is kinda tricky- i guess i could say when i Actively started interacting with other proshippers? but tbqh i dont really remember sorry jklfsdk

4.) First ever problematic ship? (you didn't have to know it was problematic then)

quiche and ichigo from tmm is literally whats wrong with me it fucked up the chemistry of my brain when i was like 12

5.) Ship you don't think it all that problematic, but the rest of your fandom hates?

idk if this really counts Exactly but im baffled to this day by the divide the ML fandom has over the different love square dynamics, please explain to me how every combo is good and wholesome, except for marinette x chat noir, which is somehow bad and degenerate, like even the people working on it make jokes about it like what do you mean its the same gd people???

some others come from spop, where people will try to convince me that hordak x entrapta is abusive despite being one of the healthiest dynamics in the show, or how bow x glimmer is Practically incest cause they. grew up together??? spop discourse was Nuts

6.) Cutest, most vanilla ship you are into.

hmm probably my crossover ship for berry and adrien, they're downright saccharine

7.) Ship the antis in your fandom like, but you think is hella problematic?

Absolutely no hate to the people who like these but oh my god yall there are others but these are always the first two that come to mind

8.) Ship that is (presented as) cute in canon/fanon, but you think is problematic anyway.

kinda just the same ones i just listed tbh

9.) Problematic crackship?

as someone who deals almost Exclusively in rare pairs and crack ships, most of them lmao but if we're going with like. Probably Worst all across the board, its whatever is going on with cedrιc, elyοn, and phοbοs from w..i..t..c..h the depravity that we never got to fully explore with these three is off the charts

10.) Are there any problematic ships that are your NOTPs?

i do not care for wιllιam x mιchael aftοn- p sure its popular in fnαf proship spaces but im just never could come around to it other than that i cant really think of any- usually i only notp things because the fans piss me off about it, and i dont generally have that problem with other proshippers

11.) Darkest fandom you are into?

im really into old rpg horror games in general, and Those get Super Dark, so probably that!

12.) Least dark fandom that you are into!

sοfia the first, but rest assured im Making it problematic

13.) Rec a dead dove fic!

im so sorry but put on the spot, every single fic ive ever read and held dear has suddenly totally absconded from my brain and i cant recall literally any of them

14.) Song that reminds you of one of your pairings!

here just have some playlists i put together for some of them so i dont have to choose anything specific: Grim x Mandy Gaz x Zim Mabel x Bill Snufkιn x Jοxter and my general problematic playlist you'll like em

15.) Silliest reason you've been told not to ship a ship.

'its not canon' is the dumbest shit i've Ever heard and yet somehow is super pervasive in fandom

#and thats everything! hope the answers are interesting #half the reason this took so long was fighting with formatting and actually loading pictures in i hate the new tumblr editorrrr

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primelight · 11 months ago

Text

WNM: Time Loop Ethics and Keira (Mild Spoilers)

Uh, yep, long time no write. Bad Lightpoint. Basically I got smacked with the 'WHAT IF THE DLC NUKES MY LORE' thing (and the fact that there are a lot of moving pieces) so I had to take a step back for my own peace of mind. So into the DLC waiting room I went. I got hit by the Baldur's Gate 3 bug, like many Soulsborne people lol. I have 1 fic simmering for BG3 (and the dove is so, so dead in it), but while I DO love that game, it's not 'I'm going to write a 200k word fic' love.

I also haven't abandoned 'Maidens.' My brain keeps turning it over and over. ER's sucking me back into its majesty too, ironically via miniature painting...I got my hands on fan-made Malenia, Morgott, and Mohg models (and 5 Crucible Knights), and dammit the rabbit hole is still very much open for business. I'll post pics, maybe, when I'm satisfied with the final products.

Now, on to the point of this post. Like I said, 'Who Needs Maidens' keeps simmering in the back of my mind, and boss music keeps playing in my head whenever I paint Malenia and Morgott (Mohg's coming out of his bubble wrap when I finish his siblings lol). So when I stumbled over a fic with a time loop as the primary problem, I started thinking. And thinking. And THINKING.

You see, time loop ethical considerations are a CRITICAL driving force behind Keira's activities and relationships. More beneath the cut. Minor spoilers, and in a follow-on post I'll do a small excerpt from WAY ahead of the current chapter as an example of what's going on under the proverbial hood.

TL;DR: She's trying to save everyone while not manipulating the fuck out of everyone in the process. It's a fine ethical line to walk, especially where romance and friendships are concerned.

The musings on the TL;DR are under the cut.

By the time WNM starts, Keira's experienced several hundred loops. She started out at the absolute bottom of the barrel, and could barely lift a sword. She didn't manage to actually find all the non-mandatory NPCs and bosses for a long, long time because welp, the Lands Between are big.

Keep in mind that the Lands Between is basically a post-apocalyptic wasteland. Everyone is inches from death and madness. Safety is rare, but actual human connection is almost nonexistent. Trust has to be earned, and holy shit it's always an uphill battle. Needless to say, 'we could die tomorrow, we must seize the day' situations happen.

The above is part of why a lot of Tarnished are DTF with very little encouragement.

Eventually Keira got strong enough to kick a reasonable amount of ass, and got some actual friends along the way. The Plan became to keep as many of them alive and happy (as happy as one can be in ER) as possible.

Some attempts at a 'perfect run' have crashed and burned. Other attempts at a perfect run went beautifully, only for her to wake up once again in the Chapel of Anticipation, a stranger to everyone she loves.

None of her wins were enough to break the loop.

For a time, Keira tried her damndest to haul everyone to safety and friendship. She tried to re-create the bonds she'd forged from loop to loop to loop, because she feared she was staring down infinity alone.

The problem there is that if she tried to recreate what she had with, say, Diallos in cycle 45 with Diallos in cycle 46, they wouldn't be on an equal playing field. Not only would she (probably) have to lie about the time loop, she's got way more information about Diallos 46's loves, fears, motivations, and dreams than he has of hers. There's an emotional power gap there, and massive manipulation potential.

Also, Keira in cycle 46 isn't the same person she was in cycle 45. Diallos 45's Keira is just as gone as he is.

One of the reasons I started this fic was to consider if there was an ethical way to have that sort of relationship. This applies to both platonic and romantic relationships.

It's a fine line to walk. It's not IMPOSSIBLE to have a close relationship with someone over multiple time loops, but yeah, it's a really, really thin ethical line that could potentially be crossed by accident. Which Keira did, without malicious intent. She's not someone who relishes that kind of power.

Keira's mind...cracked a few times once the implications hit. Repeatedly losing people you care about can do that. Throw in the realization that you might have to be even MORE alone than you already are...well...

Spoiler#1, see bottom.

And thus...Keira is now trying to walk that ethical line. Despite everything, she still cares about her friends, but she knows that their relationships aren't going to be the same. Her people deserve a chance to do their thing on their own, and if it doesn't involve her, that's just the way it is.

That's why she...hovers. So far Keira's sexual encounters have been pretty emotionally superficial. She is trying to save her friends and connect with the people she cares about. She's also trying to pull it off without becoming a total puppet master. It's a fine line to walk.

And at some point, the cycles have to end.

Speaking of which, there's still a random factor in play. There are 1. simply too many variables for her to be omniscient or have complete control and Spoiler#2, see bottom.

Here's some rationale:

Patches:

It's Patches. Anything involving Patches is probably ill-advised. The knowledge gap is her being aware that he's obsessed with Tanith, but is still down for action. And will probably try to steal all her stuff if he can. He's safely at arms length.

Bernahl:

Post-Apocalyptic Wasteland Post-Battle Horniness Trope. She knows that he's from the Volcano Manor (obviously), and knows that he's been pretty fucked over by the whole Tarnished thing, too. All she does is answer his questions honestly. And flirts. And bails before he wakes up.

Side note: He was her first. That one-shot is like 75% done.

Blaidd:

The current 'canon' status of their relationship is circumstantial allies. He's starting to get some questions about her behavior, and is rather attracted to her, but it's not enough to distract him from his mission. He is ALL about Ranni, and Keira is trying her damndest to not mess that up. But what happens at the Radahn Festival stays at the Radahn Festival.

Blackguard Big Boggart:

Keira's wavering on that ethical line in Boggart's chapters, but IMHO has managed to stay upright. The knowledge gap is that she knows that flirting is effective, and that it's been awhile since he's been that close to someone who wasn't trying to kill him. This is one of those encounters that sometimes ends with nookie, and sometimes doesn't (random factor). She also knows that he's pretty down for casual, but friendly, encounters in general, so it's not going to have a huge impact on his heart.

She almost fell off the proverbial tightrope when Morgott showed up unexpectedly (that 'YOU CANNOT DIE' line). The Plan is still to keep as many of Her People alive as possible, because WHAT IF THIS IS THE LAST LOOP. Fortunately she had a lot of Jar Cannons xD

Rogier and Darian:

Keira is being really, really careful to be incidental to their relationship. Well, not incidental, exactly, but she has no plans to be the permanent filling in that sandwich. Carpe diem was VERY much involved with that episode.

Maliketh:

He's starting to remember the past loops. Blame Faram Azula timey-wimey fuckery. They also got it on in the past. Expect that shoe to drop after she gets the 'noble blood' from Varre. Which leads me to...

Varre:

She just deadass hates him at this point, for both all the Omen blood injections and the whole blood cult murder stuff. Yep, they've fucked, and there's no love lost there. This is touched on in '50 First Steps.' Expect THAT shoe to drop after the Radahn festival. I'll add the warnings/descriptions at the end of each Varre/Blood related chapter. He's a walking warning, tho.

Note that there are a few people paired with her that I haven't included on this list. That'd be big spoilers xD

TL;DR: She's trying to save everyone while not manipulating the fuck out of everyone in the process. It's a fine ethical line to walk.

Spoilers below...

...

Spoiler#1: The Frenzied Flame didn't work.

Spoiler#2: She's not the only person aware of the loops. I don't mean Maliketh, either.

#elden ring fanfic #fic: wnm #who needs maidens #elden ring oc: keira #time loop ethics #time loop tropes #time loop #fanfic writing woes #fic spoilers

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wetcatspellcaster · 1 year ago

Note

for the dvd meme, chapter 7 of pieces still stuck in your teeth, from where astarion says "i knew it" to "you returned to me. i knew you would." i've read that chapter like five times it's SO delightful, SUCH a fun narrative payoff too HAHA

Thank you for the ask, anon! I will copy and paste the text you're referring to under the keep reading tab, just so this doesn't end up being too long/I don't expose my IRL mutuals to the horniest part of my fic lol :')

So, here we are, at the horniest part of my fic :-)

In more serious commentary, this was one of the scenes I had from the very inception of this story - I knew that Astarion was going to have killed people to get Tav back to the Gate, and I knew he was going to reveal it at literally The Worst Possible moment. I really wanted to write a chapter that turned from horny to horror without warning, and this is the speech that I envisaged doing that work for me. As such, it went through many, many drafts!

I know I said this in comments at the time, but... when examining this chapter from Astarion's perspective? Why *wouldn't* he be this fucking cocky? He has no idea what's going on in Rose's mind or why she's agreed to go to his house so easily, and why she's gotten so close to him with complete disregard of the wider situation. So as far as he's concerned, he murdered a bunch of people (which was the only risk in his plan, he thinks) and she's still down to fuck only days later. Honestly, he doesn't even *need* the ego he has, to think this is a done deal.

I also said this a lot in comments, but as such, any respect he held out for her is just gone in this moment, and that's why he immediately plays his whole hand, because he doesn't see her as a worthy opponent in the slightest. I was leaning on what developers/writers said about how he loses respect for people who fall for the superficial sex appeal and endanger themselves because of it- if this is the means by which he can do them harm, then he feels they've sealed their own fate. In his eyes, this is exactly what Rose looks like in this moment (not knowing anything about her own hidden agenda).

I also think that, if you've romanticised the one thing you've lost and can never get back, and then suddenly it's there, and it's almost... too easy, then that also makes you disappointed and angry. Maybe part of the reason he says all this heinous stuff here to try and test the waters further, maybe even anger her so there's some spark of a challenge or a fight. Maybe he wanted to make everything a little more difficult for the both of them, just so it stays fun and interesting.

As I said in previous asks, I am not really a Dead Dove writer - I appreciate the girlies who are, but it's just not something I can do (I mean, I can't even write smut lmfao). So I wanted the violation and emotional impact of non-con without any of the graphic depictions of it... lots of people have said in comments that the moment he refuses to let her go is the moment he proves he's evil, and I certainly approve of this interpretation. But here, I was mostly just in thrall to the Yandere tag lmao. He can't imagine her protests being true bc he can't imagine a world where they aren't destined for each other. And also, in this case, a world where his seduction techniques (now so well honed, now nearly unstoppable, now the only thing people seem to want from him) do not work - especially on her.

As to some specifics about the section itself:

the phrase 'little love' is, I feel, single handedly responsible for any and all Ascended ending brainrot I have. Like COME ON. What a term of endearment! What a term of endearment to MAKE EVIL!!!!

'I was bored' got workshopped a lot as the 'foreshadowing' phrase, bc I really struggled to find something that was both vague but also had ambiguous meaning from the beginning. If the delivery is a little clunky here, that's why... I agonised over this for weeks lmao

'Every meal without savour' - cue Chapter Ten, when he gets really excited that Rosalie wants to drink hot chocolate with him, and briefly loses any composure bc the future he envisages is finally getting tested out.

"how you much used to hate slavers.” This is me still making digs at Grymforge, 4 months later. Fucking Grymforge.

"You yourself would've carved through that room like a righteous blade, my love." Look. I wrote this line. And I decided. It would work on me.

DVD commentary ask

"I knew it,” he repeated.

“I knew it was only a matter of distance," he muttered into her shoulder, almost to himself. He kissed the spot: she jumped at the touch, and he hummed approvingly. "I knew that the moment I got you here, darling heart, that this would be inevitable. A matter of days, Rosalie. That is all the time you could hold out on me, the longest you could bear to resist. You don’t want me to charm you? Fine. I don’t need glamour, to make you like this. Let us both know that this was all you, and only ever for me.”

She tensed up, and he soothed again, making a chiding sound. “Hush, now, don’t be prideful. Why fight this, little love? Why deny yourself? You're not very good at it. Isn’t it so much better, this way? Doesn’t it feel good?"

"I - what?" Rosalie said, fighting to clear her head as fear and desire warred within her thoughts.

Had he not caught her? Because if so, she had done what was needed. But now she was trapped - and each word that came out of Astarion's mouth was more sinuous and sinister than the last, coiling decadently around her.

"So bored,” Astarion murmured in a low voice, nosing along her collarbone, breathing her in. “Every day the same, every day interminable. Every meal without savour, every conversation dull, and I knew you were what's missing. I knew it. I knew all I had to do was lure you back to me. And you do so love to play hard to get, but it wasn’t exactly difficult, was it, my love-?”

Rosalie struggled to make sense of what he was saying. It wasn’t precisely a threat, but it wasn’t bedroom talk either. What did he mean by ‘bored’?

No, actually, Shadowheart had said, when Rosalie had asked how the Vampire Ascendent had responded to the murders. He gave a three word reply: ‘I was bored.’

“No, in fact, it was easy,” Astarion smirked into her skin. “You put up a good front, my darling. But here you are: with me. Where you’re supposed to be. Where you will stay. You will make everything better. All I needed to do was to make you come back to me, and finally, here you are.”

Rosalie froze up. Her mind began to whir, almost as if she couldn’t dare let herself think, to follow the logic too far to its horrible, inevitable conclusion…

"The party," she said, heart pounding. “Those people who died-”

She tried to pull against his hold on her hands, moving her body back as far back from his as it would go. But it was like pulling on iron shackles, and Astarion didn't budge, simply leaning in further into her space, her legs trapped on either side of his body, and the evidence of his reaction to her utterly impossible to avoid.

"All terrible, heinous people, I assure you," Astarion told her conversationally, kissing his way along her shoulder without any concern for her sudden resistance. "No one who deserves to be mourned: all wretches and ingrates, murderers and thieves and flesh peddlers and slavers - I remember, pet, how you much used to hate slavers.”

Rose tugged at her hands, again - he ran his thumbs over her knuckles, and pinned them down harder.

“You yourself would've carved through that room like a righteous blade, my love. But I did it, all for you. I invited them all there, and they all came, like the cattle they are. And then I slaughtered them for their crimes, and now they’ve served their purpose, for here you are again, with me, once more."

Astarion's mouth was still moving all over her skin, which had begun to crawl. He reached behind her back and undid the clasp of her bra as he narrated. He whispered the words against her, like her body was made for his secrets, and then kissed the flesh, open mouthed.

"Astarion," Rose said, "you need to stop - I need to think - you said you didn't do it for any reason-"

His hands came up to her arms, and tightened to bruising, holding her in place even as his thumbs stroked circles designed to soothe.

"Of course there was a reason. You said that if I killed people, you'd come back and stop me," he said, moving back and pressing his forehead against hers, silvery lashes blurring with the closeness of her vision. His breath ghosted across her still-damp mouth as he smiled with utter tranquillity. “But you didn't try to stop me, did you? Cornered in Ramazith, and you simply let me walk away. And now, here you are. You just… came back. You returned to me. I knew you would."

#wip: pieces still stuck in your teeth #dvd commentary ask #asks #anons #thank you for your compliment I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter anon!#ask games

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know-the-way · 2 years ago

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Miss Fisher and the Crypt of Tears Discourse(?)(maybe idk?)

So… at this point I’ve watched the entire 3 series and film. Twice. I was going to post episode reactions for series 2 and 3, but I really need to skip ahead to Crypt of Tears because I have… questions. If anyone knows the answer or potential answer to any of them, please weigh in because I am just… struggling to understand some of the narrative decisions they made here.

(Btw, overall I enjoyed it, so I don’t want it to seem like I’m coming from a solely negative perspective - obviously, the last 5 minutes in particular… talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, spectacular, never the same, etc etc. I may do a separate ‘things I enjoyed’ post. I just needed to talk this out. lol)

****Full warning, this is a very long post, I am so sorry in advance.****

1. Alright, first things first - wtf do you mean it’s been a YEAR since she left Melbourne?! What was she doing that whole time? Like obviously, you could infer that she got caught up in local shenanigans and hadn’t seen everything to a satisfactory end yet, but I feel it would’ve taken maybe 1-2 minutes to just briefly explain that for the audience’s sake.

I also totally understand that they were attempting to make a stand alone project that could be independent of the series, so referencing where the series left off would be antithetical to that. HOWEVER, I think at the point where fans of the series invested $1 million… that should have maybe made tying up loose ends from the series a bit more of a priority?

I also saw that they hoped to garner new audiences from the film. And maybe it’s just me, idk, but - I’m a new audience and the only thing that brought me to the film was the knowledge that I had 3 seasons worth of backstory to immerse myself in beforehand. There are very few scenarios in my mind that would’ve had me watching just the film and nothing else. So… help.

2. Similar to question 1 - SIX WEEKS?! Where was she for six whole weeks? How did she escape the train? Was it like a Bear Grylls situation out in the desert for a while or did she have to barter with local villages or something? Just again… 1-2 lines of dialogue and I’d be good. Instead, I’m just sitting here confused like, “okay cool, I’m super glad you’re alive and stuff, but um… HOW?!”**

(**acutely aware that this is how Jack must feel all the time) (and he deserves a pint from the pub for his troubles ‘cause omg)

3. SPEAKING OF JACK - *r2d2 screech* This poor man. Jesus. How many times does he have to grieve the love of his life? It’s kinda rude at this point.

I’ve read articles with the writers where they talked about wanting Phryne to be strong and independent without emasculating Jack as a character. And I remember thinking, “Yes! They do such an excellent job of finding that balance in the show and it’s really satisfying. It’s one of the things I love most about their dynamic - the freedom to be themselves while still having this very strong collaborative connection.”

^These scenes, though? Whaaaatttt happened? 🫠 I don’t think it emasculated him, but Phryne’s almost non-reaction to him being there… grieving her... it comes off kind of insensitive and perplexing at its bare bones, to me.

Upon a few rewatches of that scene, I’ve been able to slowly formulate potential justifications for her behavior - i.e. she did tell him to come after her and he didn’t, so maybe she lost hope on her end and dove into the first perilous mystery she could find to help herself get over him. Thus, when she finds out he’s there for her memorial service, I could see her inwardly going, “Okay wow, it took me dying for you to make any moves whatsoever. Cool. Good to know I’m only worth the trip if I’m not here anymore. (Hence, the ‘And I’m very sorry that I’m not dead!’ line later.)”

Which would be a fair point, imo, and they do have a track record of just… infuriating miscommunication, but ultimately… it’s all still hypothetical. We aren’t given any actual, spoken insight into her motivations or feelings in regards to Jack (the smallest glimpse we get is her teary eyes outside the door at his guesthouse along with the “damn it, Jack” line). So, without any further follow-up clarification in the film - at face value, that scene is harsh and almost callous imo. And, despite their many conflicts in the show, there was never once where I felt they weren’t at least making an effort to understand each other. Like there is never a point in the film where they take a moment to acknowledge the time lost between them. They don’t get to have that (necessary) release of emotion and mutual understanding (there’s no nightcap moment), so it just feels incomplete.

4. I promise not to make all of these redundant, but the quicksand scene. Obviously, I love it ~*for reasons*~, but I found myself once again choosing a side (Jack’s)???? Which, throughout the entirety of the tv series, I never chose a side between them ‘cause I could always understand both of their perspectives. In this scene and the reunion scene, I’m left confused both times about Phryne’s perspective. Maybe because Mac isn’t there to pull the full truth out of her just afterwards? That’s probably it.

But her lumping Jack in with “any other man” she doesn’t need to explain herself to - either that was a fear response or a flat out dishonest one. Girl quit playin’… we all know he’s not just any other man and we all know he has never tried to change you or take charge of you. Please, the bottom-leaning switch vibes that come off that man… he LIVES for you telling him what to do. He doesn’t want to control you, he just wANTS TO BE BESIDE YOU. GOD.

I so didn’t want to be frustrated with Phryne (I love her**) and I was honestly upset that I was, but there was just something… missing in both these instances for me (vulnerability maybe? idk) and I can’t quite get it to add up. It really probably was a lack of Mac, though.

(**again, Me 🤝 Jack, complicated feelings for a complex modern woman, we’ll both be at the bar if you need us)

5. Last one - “Is this your idea of sweet nothings?” “I thought they were out of the question?” “They are. Continue.”

Did I miss a scene where they laid ground rules for their partnership going forward in Shirin’s case? Or was that something that was cut/not included? Because… if there was a scene of them discussing that before Jack agreed to stay… that would have taken care of most of what I said above in and of itself.

(But no fr… did I miss a scene? Is my copy broken? Help?)

Gonna Leave on a Positive Note, because if you asked me if the below scene made it all worth it, I’d have to say yes:

#mfmm #if i come off too heated - i promise i’m not taking it that serious #rant vibes but not an actual rant #just talking out loud

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