#also i realize that these tags are WAY TOO REVEALING but come on. you don't have kdj as a fave without relating to that aspect of him 😔
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dailynnt · 3 days ago
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FRIENDS WITHIN TOUCHING DISTANCE
⊹ Summary: Jungkook and you, his childhood friend, live together in an apartment, sharing space as roommates. Your relationship, built on years of friendship, is gradually becoming strained by growing sexual tension. You decide to become friends with benefits, trying not to complicate your feelings. But Jungkook's world is not so simple. When you begin to realize that he is hiding something, you open the veil of his double life - a world of mafia, criminal activity, and risk that could ruin not only your deal, but everything you valued in each other.
⊹ Couple: Jeon Jungkook/ Fem!Reader
⊹ Characters: The Reader, Jeon Jungkook, Park Jimin, Kim Taehyung, Min Yoongi, Kim Seokjin, Kim Namjoon, Jeon Hoseok.
⊹ 🔞 Age restrictions: 18+
⊹ 👩🏼‍❤️‍👨🏻 Relationships: ⚤
⊹📘Number of part: 20/?
⊹ 🖇️ Tags: best friends, friends with benefits, slow longing, sexual tension, protected sex, unprotected sex, alcohol, drunken sex, inexperienced main character, mafia au, illegal trade, deaths of minor characters, weapons, swear words.
⊹ 👩🏼‍💻From the author: Guys thank you for being with me and loving this story so much. I wrote part 19 and for some reason the second half of it was so hard for me. Read with pleasure and tell me how you like it, it is so valuable to me ❤️‍🔥🙏🏻
⊹ 🫂Dedication: For you, my love @myjungkookthighs. You are my favorite person 😘🥰 You know that I appreciate you so much and love you🥰💜 Bright times will come and you will be happy, my love 🥺💜
⊹ ⚠️ Warning: English is not my native language, so there may be mistakes in the text. Please don't get mad at me too much! Those under 18, please don't read this story!
⊹ 📋Tag list: @myjungkookthighs, @notsevenwithyou, @nikkinikj, @lovelyyylunaa222, @jiminiemanura, @jalexad, @kelsyx33, @bhonbhon, @unholyforjk (If anyone wants to be in my tag list let me know)
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≣ Chapter Index ↓
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Part 19. Kidnapped under the glow of fireworks.
The sound of the xylophone announced an incoming call. You dropped what you were doing in front of the mirror and almost ran to the couch where your phone was lying. The screen showed a photo of Jungkook with the caption "🐰 Jungkook". You pressed the green button.
"Hello?" - You answered.
"Baby, are you ready? I'm on my way." - You hear on the other end of the line. Jungkook was supposed to pick you up at 10 p.m. to take you to a party to celebrate the opening of a new club in Itaewon that Jimin will be running. It would also was a New Year party. So Jungkook didn't lie to your parents, and it turns out that you two were indeed invited to the opening of the nightclub.
You had to wait until Jungkook came to pick you up, because about an hour ago he told you, (alredy was dressed for a party) that he had to be away for an hour, and that you should get dressed and wait for him. He was not a minute late, and you look at your watch and realize that the hour passed quickly and you barely had time to get ready.
"I'm ready, I'm putting on my coat and coming to you." - You say affectionately. You hear his gentle "waiting" in the phone and go to the front door.
Today you are wearing a dark green satin dress with an asymmetrical hem and a neckline that reveals your thigh too high. The dress has a beautiful low neckline that emphasizes your sexuality without making you look vulgar, and thin straps that add to your fragility.
On your feet you put on exquisite gold high-heeled shoes. You put on nylon stockings instead of uncomfortable tights. The image is completed by gold jewelry and hair gathered in a beautiful bun.
The makeup is simple with an emphasis on the eyes. Long black arrows against a background of subtle golden shadows and lips of warm brown with a slight reddish tint.
You didn't dress very wintery, but this is the dress you dreamed of wearing for a similar holiday. You throw the coat over your shoulders and for some reason you hear Jungkook's voice in your head, protesting that you dressed too lightly.
You leave the house and immediately see Jungkook's Mercedes. It's cold outside, so you hurry to get into the car to stay warm. The side windows of the car are tinted, so you don't immediately see that Jungkook is on the phone. When you get inside, you give your boyfriend a smile and see that he doesn't take his eyes off you. You're flattered by this look of admiration.
"I'll be in Itaewon in 20 minutes. Are you there yet?" - You hear him talking to someone on the phone. He's probably talking to Jimin.
"Yes, I’m on place. Hoseok and Taehyung aren't here yet. By the way, Yoongi-hyun just arrived." - Jimin's voice is distorted by the cell phone. This confirms your guess.
"Yoongi-hyun? Does he go to these kinds of parties?" - Jungkook asks, still staring at you. His gaze runs over your face, down to your figure, and finally stops at your gold shoes.
"Usually not, but he did me the honor of not refusing the invitation. Now he's in the VIP lounge, where all of us will be celebrating. Have you picked up the Y/N yet?" - Jimin asks.
"Yes. We're on our way." - Jungkook replies, although you are still standing outside your house. You raise your eyebrows in surprise as Jungkook approaches you, ready to kiss you.
"I'm waiting, buddy." - Jimin says and hangs up the phone. Jungkook immediately touches your lips, just pressing his lips to yours. Although you were about to fight back, stopping him with your hands. Your kiss lasted for a few seconds and Jungkook pulled away.
"Baby, you are divine. Are you making me feel nervous again? I'm going to be jealous of every glimpse who lines on you." - He says seriously. You smile broadly, stretching your lips and drawing Jungkook's attention to them again.
"You know I don't need anyone but you. Then you shouldn't worry about anyone. They don't stand a chance against you." - You say using a flirtatious voice. Jungkook smiles, pleased with your words, which calm his jealousy.
"I want to wipe off your lipstick, can you put on lipstick again after?" - Jungkook asks, intending to capture your lips. You stop him in time, putting your hands on your chest.
"No. If you wipe off my lipstick now, it will ruin my makeup. Let's do it a little later. Let me wear my makeup for at least the first hour." - You ask. Jungkook doesn't listen. He overpowers your arms and connects your lips. This kiss lasts also not long, no more than a second.
"Your lips are so luscious with this lipstick. You only have an hour, and then I'll definitely wipe it off." - Jungkook sits up straight, leaving you in peace, but for not a long moment at this night, and then he starts to drive off, pressing the gas pedal.
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You're almost at the entrance to Itaewon. You check your friends' New Year's greeting texts and suddenly an unfamiliar number pops up. In the push notification, you can see the beginning of a phrase:
"Candy, take care. There will be a lot of people connected to the mafia at the party..."
Then the text message breaks off and you either have to go read it or click on the message for a long time to see it in full. You immediately erase it from push notifications so that Jungkook doesn't see it by accident. Doohoon knows where you'll be. He hasn't stopped following you, justifying it as "caring". However, it looks like stalking, without exaggeration.
You wanted to tell Jungkook right away when you met Doohoon in the parking lot of your building a couple of days ago. But that night, Jungkook came home late and was in a bad mood. He was tired and irritated. You knew it had something to do with the meeting with Namjoon. You didn't ask for details, but Jungkook just said that everything was fine and you shouldn't worry about anything.
You thought that if Jungkook wanted to, he would tell you everything himself. If you had told Jungkook that day about Doohoon, he would have been angry and no one knows what he would have done. Of course you'll tell Jungkook, but after the new year. You didn't want to spoil the already barely noticeable holiday mood.
You arrive in one of the most upscale neighborhoods in Itaewon, where the new Jimin’s nightclub is located on a wide street lit up with neon signs and colorful garlands. The huge doors of the club, decorated with the elegant ‘MUSE’ logo with delicate black marble details, led to a real gem of the city's nightlife. At the entrance, you noticed guests in luxurious outfits.
Jungkook helped you out of the Mercedes and you headed for the entrance. Jungkook, dressed in a black fitted suit with a silk shirt and no tie, exuded confidence and low-key charisma.
When you entered the club, you were greeted by a luxurious hall with high ceilings, crystal chandeliers, and modern design. In the center was a large illuminated dance floor, and around the perimeter were VIP areas, fenced off from the main hall by translucent curtains. The bar shone with golden details, and the aroma of exotic cocktails was in the air. The music, chosen by Jimin himself, was loud and rhythmic, setting the tone for the party.
You were a little nervous, because the party definitely brought together many influential guests - obviously familiar with the mafia world, who exchanged glances and gestures, understanding each other without words. In the crowd, one could see wealthy businessmen and women dressed in designer dresses that shone like diamonds.
Jimin appeared to greet you. His image was spectacular: an exquisite suit with bright accents that emphasized his confidence. When he saw you, he immediately opened his arms to you. You, in turn, surprisingly forgot who Jimin really was and hugged him like a good friend who was nice and caring to you.
"I am glad to see you. Take off your clothes and go to VIP area number one." - Jimin said.
Jungkook led you to the cloakroom, which was off to the side of the main hall. He helped you take off your coat and took your clothes to a woman who was sitting there to receive your clothes. Jungkook was only wearing a suit and it looked like his coat was left in the car.
You didn't notice the appraising gaze of your boyfriend, who was looking at you, studying your image. You took a few steps away, nervously fiddling with your green handbag. You smoothed down your dress with your hand and straightened your curls. The warmth of Jungkook's body, which was pressed against your back, almost made you screaming. His large tattooed hand rested on your stomach, and his lips touched your ear.
"Baby, is it legal to be this sexy at a New Year's party?" - You hear the vibration of Jungkook's voice.
"What are you doing, people can see us!" - You protested quietly, trying to move away.
"I'm not sure that in an hour you'll just be without lipstick. I would do other things to you." - He whispers in your ear. A wave of warmth runs through your body. He's not should’ve to seduce you right before the party starts. You need to calm his heat. It's only been two days without sex, and he's so impatient.
"You should wait until we get home. That'll give you an excuse not to be so long, right?" - You suggest. Jungkook purrs in your ear in affirmation. He gives you a quick kiss on the shoulder and finally lets go.
VIP area #1 at Jimin’s Club was a true embodiment of luxury and elegance. You tensed up feeling the pathos of this place, just like you did at Niseko's during the Christmas party.
Located on an elevation with a panoramic view of the dance floor, it was isolated from the main hall by a tinted glass partition, creating an atmosphere of privacy. Inside, there were soft semicircular sofas made of emerald velvet, which surrounded small tables made of black marble with gold inlays. An elegant crystal chandelier hung above the area, illuminated by neon, adding soft, cozy light to the space.
Tall ficuses in stylish black vases stood in the corners of the room, and there were interactive LED panels on the walls that showed exciting abstract patterns, changing colors depending on the rhythm of the music. Each table was equipped with a button to call a personal waiter, and special soundproofing allowed people to talk quietly without shouting over the music.
There were many people in the hall who were obviously important guests of Jimin. It seems that they were not only "businessmen" or influential people, but also idols and actors, most likely to attract more attention to the new place.
You saw Jin, Hoseok, Taehyung, and Jimin in the hall, talking about something cheerfully and animatedly. Jungkook put his arm around your waist and you felt calm, feeling him so close.
Walking in the direction of these people, you unconsciously repeated everything you knew about them. You saw these people in a new way now and had to behave naturally. They are all close to Namjoon. They are some of the most powerful people in the Korean underworld. Why are you among them?
You look at Jungkook and see that he is calm. Does he trust these people so much that he's not afraid to bring you here? You reassure yourself that no matter what happens to you, Jungkook is there to protect you.
"How did you get here faster than us?" - Jungkook asks with a smile on his lips. You also pull your lips into a smile and greet the guys. "I thought because of the traffic in Gangnam, you guys would arrive at the chimes." - Jin, Hoseok, and Taehyung greet you warmly and they take turns hugging you. You are a little confused. Taehyung is the only one you know well, so his hug is the only one that feels good.
"You look amazing." - He says, emphasizing this with a slight nod. You shyly touched your ear in thanks. Jungkook gave Taehyung a murderous look and Taehyung laugh, annoying his friend.
You all went to a table with several people. Among them, a short man caught your attention the most. He was reserved and looked bored, almost apathetic. When everyone approached the table, they took turns greeting the man. Jungkook shook the man's hand and bowed slightly. The man, as if he were his older brother, clapped him on the shoulder in a friendly manner.
When your eyes met, you unconsciously took half a step back. His calm and cold look gave you the feeling that he could see right through everyone standing in front of him. His sharp features were impenetrable, but his eyes hid something dark and almost dangerous.
You felt insecure, as if you were under a microscope. Your intuition told you that you were looking at a person who could read others as easily as they read a book. You looked down away from him for a long moment to hide your nervousness, but you felt your shoulders tense under an invisible pressure.
Jimin smiled and gestured to you, introducing you when Jungkook finally stepped away from the elder Hyun. It was none other than Min Yoongi. And you knew it before Jimin even said his name.
"Yoongi-hyun, this is Y/N. She's a good friend of ours, and Jungkook's best friend. She's his couple for tonight." - Jimin introduced you. His eyes are curious, but no emotion is reflected on his face.
"Nice to meet you." - He said dryly but politely, nodding.
"Likewise." - You say with a slight smile on your lips to hide your tension.
Yoongi looked at Jungkook, who was standing next to you, and a faint smile flashed across his eyes. He seemed to appreciate you as something valuable that mattered to Jungkook.
"Interesting," - He suddenly said. No one reacted to this because you were the only one who heard it. He went back to talking to one of the other guests, you, Jungkook, Taehyung, and Jimin went to the next table. Hoseok, who was supposed to be at your table, said that you'd join him in a few minutes.
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The party at the club was a real extravaganza. Itaewon, known for its nightlife, was witnessing something special this time: Jimin's new establishment became an epicenter of luxury intertwined with something modern and youthful. Music vibrated through the walls. There were so many guests that every area of the club, even the VIP rooms, were overcrowded. But at the same time, everything remained surprisingly organized.
By midnight, Jimin stepped onto a small elevated podium near the main dance floor. He held a glass of champagne in his hand, and his smile shone like a reflection of bright New Year's fireworks.
"I'm glad you're all here tonight!" - He began, his voice clear and full of emotion. "We are finally in Itevon. This club is my personal creation, so please give it a lot of love. Let's celebrate this year together and make it unforgettable!" - The audience burst into applause, and Jimin raised his glass. "To the new year and a new beginning!".
At midnight, everyone was simultaneously counting down the last seconds to the New Year. 10... 9... 8... You squeezed Jungkook's hand, smiling and trying not to think about how magical this moment was. 3... 2... 1... The guests shouted "Happy New Year!" and confetti sprayed in the air, and glasses filled with sparkling champagne.
It was already past one in the morning. You drank the champagne without even realizing how strong it was. The drink had a delicate fruity aroma and a smooth taste that hid its power. Four glasses later, and in the hot atmosphere around you, your cheeks turned pink and your eyes shone.
You chatted with Taehyung and Hoseok, who seemed to be on a mission to entertain you. You talked a lot and you laughed almost constantly. They did whatever made you feel good.
After a while, you realized that Jungkook was not participating in the conversation. You smiled as you noticed him quietly drinking whiskey, sitting next to you on the couch, silently watching the crowd.
"You're too serious for a New Year's party." - You whisper playfully, leaning into Jungkook's ear. The surprisingly strong champagne allowed you to finally relax and forget about the people around you. Jungkook smiled at your tone.
"The most important, that you have fun, my baby." - Jungkook whispered in your ear.
"You should have fun too." - You said without leaning into Jungkook. You suddenly jumped up and held out your hand to him. "Let's go to the main dance floor, I want to dance." - You said a little loudly. He looked at your hand and then grabbed it, standing up. At that moment, Jimin came to your table.
"Where are you going?" - He asked, smiling slyly. You didn't catch this gesture, unlike Jungkook, who looked at his friend sideways.
"We're going dancing." - You said, pulling Jungkook's hand. Jimin winked at Jungkook. He winked back, to his friend's surprise. Jimin raised his eyebrows in surprise as he sat down next to Taehyung.
"They're going to fuck tonight. Telling you." - Jimin said to Hoseok and Taehyung, who were watching you and Jungkook.
"They've been doing it for a while." - Taehyung says, finishing his whiskey. Jimin turns an incredulous look to Taehyung.
"What do you mean? Did he tell you?" - Jimin asks. Does Jungkook tell Taehyung first, but didn’t tell Jimin anything?
"No, he didn't. But I don't need his confirmation. They live together, they provably fuck. Don't you see the way he looks at her?" - Taehyung asks as if it were obvious. Jimin nods.
"You know they live together?" - Jimin wonders how Taehyung knows.
"I saw their text messages by accident before I we visited Niseko. She was asking him to buy some groceries or something. He didn't notice that I was there. And also she blurted it out when we were sitting in a restaurant." - Taehyung answered. Jimin nodded, savoring the whiskey, but his mind was far away.
He wondered why Jungkook was hiding the relationship from all of them. It's obvious that you're together. Doesn't he trust them? Especially him? Jimin had always been used to Jungkook sharing everything with him. He knew about all his girlfriends, every relationship, from the moment they met. They had grown to be close friends.
But you... you're the one Jungkook is so desperately protective of, not admitting to your relationship, that it can only mean one thing. You are special to him. Now Jimin knew exactly who Jungkook's real Achilles' heel was.
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On the way to the dance floor, you asked Jungkook to hide your phone so that it wouldn't get in the way of your hands. He kindly agreed, putting it in one of his pockets.
There was energetic electronic music playing on the dance floor, and the crowd seemed to be in complete ecstasy. You were moving to the beat of the music, forgetting everything around you. Your movements were light, graceful, but at the same time relaxed, thanks to the champagne that gave you courage.
Jungkook stood next to you, watching you at first, but then, succumbing to the atmosphere, he allowed himself to relax. He took you by the waist and pulled you closer so that your dance was synchronized. You felt the warmth of his body through the satin dress. His hands were on your hips, on your back, on your arms. You easily lost yourselves among the people so that no one could see how close you were to each other.
You turned your back on Jungkook and started rubbing against his crotch, feeling a wave of excitement from your closeness. You wanted to seduce your boyfriend. You wanted to get him hot so that he could fuck you good at home.
Moving your ass against his crotch, you felt his hardness after a while. Jungkook's hands were holding your waist, but suddenly his hand slid down to your throat. He gently, very gently pulled your body as close to him as possible. His lips touched your ear.
"Do you want me to walk around with a hard-on for the rest of the evening? Or do you have other plans?" - He asked. The huskiness of his voice makes you feel a current running through your body. You laugh.
"I'm just dancing next to you." - You say in your defense. Jungkook moves his hand down to your bare thigh, and your skin literally burns in that spot.
"That sweet ass makes my cock hard in seconds. You know that. And don't say you weren't going to seduce me." - He says in your ear. His breath is scorching. Your cheeks burn as much as your desire for Jungkook to fuck you now.
"Looks like I've been found out." - You say, turning to face him. You're as close as you can get. Jungkook smiles stiffly. "We're going home soon anyway. How about we spend this time enjoying ourselves?" - You ask, quickly pressing your lips to Jungkook's.
His grip on your hips tightens. You move in time to the music, and Jungkook's cock thrusts against your buttocks. He seems very excited.
"I can't wait, when we to go home. So we're going to the toilet." - This is the last thing you hear against your cheek. Without waiting for you to answer, Jungkook grabs your hand and you walk through the crowd.
You find yourself in a restroom. It seems to belong to the VIP zone, because it is quiet and there is no one here. There are three large stalls. Jungkook leads you to the farthest one and locks the door.
He pounces on your lips, so fast that you don't have time to recover. Jungkook presses you against the wall of the toilet, so you can feel the contrast. The cold wall cools your hot body, and Jungkook turns up the heat with his hands all over your body and tongue kisses that make you soaked.
Jungkook moves to your neck when your lungs need oxygen. He leaves wet marks on your neck and jaw and you get even more excited. His hand slides between your legs, into the perfect slit at your thigh. He pulls the thong aside and touches your folds. Jungkook pulls away from your neck and breathes heavily on your lips, and you open your mouth in pleasure, feeling his fingers rubbing the moisture and caressing your erect clit.
"You're so wet for me, baby." - He says against your lips. You bite down on them to hold back your moans. His hot, whiskey-scented breath is intoxicating. He plunges two fingers into your hole and pumps. It's hard for you to breathe. You want to release your feelings through a loud moan, but you hold yourself back as best you can.
You want to feel Jungkook inside you, because stretching with your fingers isn't enough for you. Without warning, Jungkook takes his fingers out of you. He raises his hand to your face and runs your own arousal down your nose, along the curve of your cheek, then presses his middle and ring fingers against the pad of your lips.
Your lips open unconsciously, and he slides his fingers inside, making you swallow your own arousal. He bursts in with a force and control that drives you crazy. He presses down on your tongue, then wraps his fingers around it, rolling and smearing your arousal.
"I have to eat you, because you're just flowing." - Jungkook says and is already on his knees.
He moves your skirt, lifts it up slightly, and you grab it to help him hold it up. Jungkook pulls your thong off, and it falls around your ankles, catching on the clasp of your heels on one side.
Jungkook throws your leg over his shoulder, freeing your legs from the underwear so he can have perfect access to your juicy pussy. You grab his hair as you feel his wet tongue on your clit.
"Fuck." - You exhale, enjoying the movements of Jungkook's skillful tongue. He licks your folds from the bottom to the top, right down to your slit, making you shudder. As you tremble, Jungkook flicks his tongue over your clit. One. Two. Then he sucks on it and plays with it. You literally lose your head over Jungkook's oral sex skills.
You'll feel Jungkook plunging his fingers into you again. He eats you and stretches you at the same time to have a good way to stretch you with his big cock after you cum on his tongue.
Still pushing his fingers inside you, Jungkook pulls away from your sensitive bud and starts to bite the skin around it, then he swipes his tongue.
Your hips jerk, your sighs and moans mix and echo in the air, and you think you should be quiet, but you absolutely can't. Jungkook has never eaten your pussy so passionately and with such a taste.
He's picking up the pace. When he senses that you're about to come, he sucks in and you can feel your clit trembling on his tongue. He releases it and flicks his tongue several times, prolonging your orgasm as much as possible. You moan out loud. Because fuck, it's amazing.
You look down and meet Jungkook's smile. His lips and chin are glistening with your juice. He stands up, wiping his face at the same time, and gets too close. Jungkook immediately captures your lips in a passionate kiss, giving you a second taste of himself, only this time on his tongue.
You are falling apart from the passion between you. It's so dirty and sexy that you want to be fucked by your boyfriend like the last whore.
"Fuck me." - You ask when your lips are barely parted.
"You're so needy for me, you want me to fuck you now. What about waiting until we get home?" - Jungkook teased you. He was already unbuckling his leather belt and you were eagerly helping him. You didn't listen to what he was saying because you knew he was going to fuck you. When his pants fell down, you heard a thud. It was your phone in his pocket.
"You dropped my phone!" - You complain, pulling down his boxers.
"Fuck it. I'll buy you two hundred of these." - Jungkook says defiantly. You throw a mischievous smile.
"I don't need two hundred. One is enough for me, if you break the screen you'll buy me a new one." - You say, grabbing Jungkook by the length of his arm. He closes his eyes blissfully as you slowly pump him up. You smear his pre-cum, caressing the tip. You completely grasp his glans with your hand and move your hand back and forth to increase his arousal. In between pumping his length, you caress his balls a few times, which makes Jungkook ecstatic as he let out a low moan and that makes you stronger. When Jungkook thinks you've aroused him enough, he stops your hand.
"Take off your dress so we don't get it dirty." - Jungkook asks in a heavy voice. You let go of his erect cock and lick your thumb, which you had been using to caress Jungkook's cock.
Jungkook's eyes darken and a cocky smile graces his face. You take off your dress and throw it on the toilet, which was closed. You notice a large mirror behind Jungkook's back. You see his bare buttocks. He's gotten rid of his pants and boxers, throwing them elsewhere. He has opened the silk shirt he was wearing so that it doesn't hinder his movements.
When you are naked, Jungkook wastes no time in taking you into his arms. He gives both of your breasts proper attention, caressing and kissing them. Luckily for you, there are no bruises after the last time in the car, and those painful kisses-punishments.
Jungkook rests his hard cock against your pussy and you wonder when he's going to get down to the real business. As if he heard your thoughts, he leaves your breasts and grabs your thigh. He lifts and moves your leg so that he can enter you in a standing position. You feel his cock pressing against your entrance and you bite your lip. Because he's doing it slowly, carefully, with little pressure.
You sigh loudly when his cock is completely inside you. Jungkook suddenly puts his hands on your buttocks.
"Come on, my love, lift." - He urges you and pushes you up so that you are pressed with your hot body against the cold wall of the toilet, pouring your feet over his buttocks. Jungkook presses you tighter against the wall, and you wrap your arms around his neck, trying to hold on as well.
Jungkook makes the first thrust and you hold your breath. He moves his hips to adjust to the most comfortable position. Once he finds the perfect position for both of you, he pushes his cock inside and it feels so incredibly good that you roll your eyes. So blissful, so deep, so tight.
You hear Jungkook moaning lightly into your neck. You open your eyes and see yourself in the mirror. Jungkook's strong figure, with bare buttocks and your legs wrapped around his waist. He is driving himself into you as far as he can, and this new position gives you perfect pleasure.
You can't hold back your moans from his intense movements. His cock is rubbing against your walls very well.
"Shhh.... Baby. You have to be a little quieter. We might be heard." - Jungkook asks you. But you don't understand how you can be quieter here. He's giving you so much pleasure that only these loud moans keep you from going crazy. His cock is so deep in your passage, perfectly hitting your G-spot in this position.
But he's right, you can't be heard. So you try to keep your voice down. Jungkook continues to fuck you, and you realize that you don't have much longer. You can already feel the orgasm building in your middle.
"Kook..." - You call out to him, making him look down at your beautiful face. He smiles and kisses your lips.
"Do you want to come, baby?" - He asks, guessing why you called him. You whimper, and hold back, enjoying his cock, which slams deep into you with every thrust.
"Yes. I want to..." - You say.
"Take your time. Take it easy. Relax. I want to fuck you longer." - Jungkook says. His voice sounds like it's the only way you can come. You breathe hard and close your eyes. You need to relax. But you can't hold it in for long. How long does he want to fuck you? And how can he do that? Is it all the alcohol in his blood that has given him stamina?
Jungkook stops his movements. He breathes fast and you open your eyes. Jungkook kisses you, plunging his tongue into your mouth. Your tongues weave in a perfect pair and taste each other. You can taste the whiskey every time he plunges his tongue into your mouth.
While he kisses you, you can feel his fingers on your clit. You are getting too much stimulation. You want to come already. You're also a little tired of being in this position.
"Kook, please." - You beg, pulling away from his lips. "I want to come." - Jungkook hears your request and slams his hips into you without warning. He makes several deep thrusts and you forget how to breathe.
"I said I want to fuck you longer." - He says roughly.
"I can't take it..." - You say in despair and pleasure at the same time.
"Hold out for me, baby. You can do it, I know you can..." - Jungkook says somewhere in your neck. You don't understand why he won't let you come. He picks up the pace again and is pushes his cock in your poor pussy. You realize that a few more thrusts and you'll just come. But you try to relax. "You're taking me so well, my good girl. Should I let you come at last?" - Jungkook asks you defiantly. You whimper and moan.
"Please... let me..." - You beg as hard as you can. You press your nails into his back and into his back to ease the sensations of stimulation. You feel Jungkook's lips on your cheek.
"Then come for me, love." - You hear his voice. He accelerates his movements to the maximum so that you can feel the longed-for orgasm that you've been holding back on the edge until the last moment. With a sharp thrust, he brings you to the end, and you come around his cock with a long moan. Jungkook goes a little crazy from this sound and keeps fucking you to reach his orgasm.
He will feel his balls squeeze, his cock hardens as much as possible and he spills his hot cum inside you. Your head is spinning, and your ears are ringing from all the feelings that have captured you at the same time.
Jungkook stops after the last thrust and you feel him soften. You're both breathing heavily. You don't know how much time passes before he pulls out of you, lowering you to the ground.
"Fuck, Jungkook." - You say. "Why didn't you let me come?" - You wonder why he did that.
"So you could have a first-class orgasm, my love." - He replies as he takes your chin with his fingers and kisses your lips gently. Your gut flutters from his "my love" and his gentle kiss. He hasn't called you that until today. Does his "my love" mean what you think it means, or is it just a pet name for him? You really did have the best orgasm you've ever had. Was it because you held it back?
"Go pee and get dressed. They're probably looking for us by now." - Jungkook says as he lets go of you and walks toward his clothes. You find a thong and put it on.
Jungkook is waiting for you behind the stall. You get dressed and fix the dress. You go to the mirror and see that you don't look fresh. You take out a paper napkin and dab at your makeup.
You leave the booth, completely satisfied with the incredible sex you had with Jungkook. You notice him standing by the window. His head is down. You come closer to him and to your surprise you notice a phone in his hands. It's your phone.
Jungkook turns to you with an absolutely furious look on his face. Your insides tremble. Your heart speeds up, and you realize that he read the text messages from Doohoon that you didn't delete. You're so stupid. You should have erased them right away. Block this number.
He pokes the phone at you. You see the text message and the last digits of Doohoon's number from the bottom to the top.
"What is it?" - He says, and you hear his voice tremble with anger.
"It's a text message." - You say calmly. You want to pick up the phone, but Jungkook jerks his hand away and won't let you take it.
"Candy, don't tell him we saw each other. He threatened to kill me."- Jungkook reads aloud one of the texts written by Doohoon. Maybe it was because of that text message that you didn't tell Jungkook that day that you saw him. You wanted to tell him, but because he was in a bad mood, you didn't say anything. You remember the angry image of Jungkook at the Christmas party. And you think you didn't keep quiet for Doohoon’s sake, but for Jungkook's.
"Jungkook, honey, I'll explain everything to you now." - You say gently. You want to take his hand, but he takes a step away from you. You freeze, puzzled.
"When the fuck did you see each other?" - He says surprisingly calmly, but you know he's furious inside.
"A few days ago. When you went to Namjoon. He met me in the parking lot of our building." - You admit it. You hear Jungkook start to breathe heavily. He looks at your phone again and reads the text messages from Doohoon.
12.29/08.12 P.M. | 010-***-***-14: You know that I am for you. I'll be there to save you
12.29/08.14 PM | 010-***-***-14: Sweetie, don't tell him we saw each other. He threatened to kill me. I don't know if you know, but he beat me up for telling you the truth about him.
12.29/08.15 P.M. | 010-***-***-14: No matter what you tell me, you seem so lost today. Maybe it's a sign that you've made the wrong choice.
12.29/08.25 PM | 010-***-***-14: I can see you hesitating. I don't need to force you to realize which of us is more reliable.
12.29/08.33 PM | 010-***-***-14: I can see you hesitating. I don't want to force to realize who you need more trustworthy.
12.30/01.26 PM | 010-***-***-14: I'm not giving up, candy. I know I can convince you. Time is on my side.
12.31/10.14 PM | 010-***-***-14: Candy, take care of yourself. There are going to be a lot of people at the party who are connected to the mafia. This is not the world you need to be in. Try to avoid talking to people you don't know, and don't believe the empty smiles. They are here for a reason.
12.31/10.15 PM | 010-***-***-14: If something goes wrong, know that I am always there for you, even if you can't see it.
01.01/01.26 A.M. | 010-***-***-14: Happy New Year, Candy. How are you feeling? Are you okay?
"What the fuck is this Y/N shit?" - Jungkook yells as he clutch your phone. You flinched at the sudden scream. You let him read it because you didn't see any point in hiding anything anymore. You really don't understand why you didn't erase those texts.
"Kook, I really did see him. But I was going to tell you everything. I just didn't want to worry you. You weren't yourself that day. I didn't want you to do anything terrible." - You explained with despair in your voice.
"He's stalking you again and you're not saying anything?" - Jungkook asks, trembling with anger. He clutches your phone so tightly in his hand that you think he's going to smash it.
"No, I wanted to tell you everything..." - You start.
"You wanted?" - Jungkook raises his voice. "But you didn't! You knew it was important, you knew who he was to me and you , and you still kept it from me! Why?" - He shouts. You feel your palms sweat. You are a fool. A fool for letting this situation happen.
You are silent, trying to find the words. You open your mouth a few times to explain, but you fall silent because all the words in your head sound absurd.
"Do you like his attention?" - Jungkook suddenly asks. You freeze in horror. No. Of course not. You don't like his attention, how could Jungkook even think that?
"Are you crazy?" - You ask a rhetorical question. You sound angry. "What attention? I didn't say anything because I didn't know how you would react." - You say. Your breathing has also quickened. You are nervous, feeling nauseous.
"How am I going to react? How do you expect me to react when your phone is flooded with messages from him, and you didn't even think to warn me? He calls you so sweetly, and you just let it happen?" - Jungkook says unpleasant things to you that make you feel dirty.
"I told him to call me that many times. He gave me that nickname back in school, and you know!" - You say. "He texts me, if you can see, but I don't answer."
"Just texts? He knows you'll be at the party and he warns you about the mafia like it's his business! Are you starting to trust him?" - Once again, Jungkook takes you by surprise. You literally boil over from the nonsense your boyfriend is saying.
"What the hell is wrong with you? Do you even hear what you're saying? How can I trust him when I know what that shit did to you? I left those texts to show you when you needed me to. I could have easily deleted them and you wouldn't have known anything!" - You screamed. You fell silent and you looked at each other with rage. Your eyes almost physically radiated lightning.
But suddenly it dawned on you. You have a password on your phone and Jungkook doesn't know it. How did he get into your phone?
"How do you know my password?" - You ask him. Your voice heard like terror. Did he hack your phone? You've got a new one, because your phone is new, too.
"I knew it." - Jungkook admits.
"How do you know, I’m ask?" - You raise your voice, irritated.
"It doesn't matter." - Jungkook waves it off. You run up to him and grab his shirt.
"It is important. Did you hack my phone? Are you spying on me too?" - You ask. Your voice doesn't sound like you. It trembles and almost breaks. Jungkook looked at your hand and took it. He squeezed it hard because you started to struggle. "Answer me!" - You shouted loudly, starting to hit Jungkook. You were worried that he knew about all your affairs, that you were digging up information on his clan, and because of that your sunbae might be in danger.
He grabbed your arms and broke them behind your back. You heard him press you against the wall, trapping you between his body and the wall. For another 10 minutes he held you down in the same way. But now you are in a completely different situation.
"Calm down Y/N!" - Jungkook yelled at you. You stopped struggling in his arms and breathed quickly and deeply. The warmth of his body was somehow not pleasant now.
"You're watching for me too." - You said, holding back your tears. "What makes you better than him? I'm your fucking girlfriend, why do you need to get into my phone?"
"Just for moments like this." - Jungkook replies roughly, still holding you against the wall. "I need to know everything about you because Doohoon wants to hurt you. I thought you trusted me." - You laugh hysterically.
"I do trust you. I trusted you more than anyone in my life. But you've been undermining my trust in you all along. You're the one who hides the truth. I’m yet been silent only for several days, I was PLANNING to tell you everything. I don't know what you can do with him. Beat him again or even kill him!" - You screamed. When you stopped talking, you only then realized what you had said. Jungkook froze, his eyes darting between yours.
"So you believe him. You believe I kill people?" - Jungkook asks, and you can hear the hurt in his voice.
"I don't fucking know what to believe anymore. You're a fucking gangster, how do I know if you kill people or not? I don't know what you do when you're not home all day." - You sound angry.
"I told you I didn't kill people." - Jungkook says calmly.
"How do I know for sure?" - You ask, irritated.
Jungkook steps away from you, and you feel everything inside you tighten. His calm gaze, while not indifferent, was cold and distant. You stand there, breathing heavily, feeling your emotions rising violently inside.
"If you're not sure about me, then why are you here?" - Jungkook asks in a cold voice.
"It's obvious, you idiot, that I love you." - You say and leave the restroom. You run out to the main dance floor and go to the wardrobe. You take your coat and go outside. You cry and just go wherever your eyes lead.
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You walk across a wide street crowded with people and cars. Your heart is heavy with tears that never stop rolling down your face. Itaewon is filled with a festive atmosphere - people are celebrating, laughing, hugging, but for you, this whole world seems alien and empty. The light of neon signs, bright fireworks, the sound of music from clubs and shops - all of this merges into a fog, as if you've entered a completely different reality.
The fight with Jungkook was so ridiculous. You feel your heart shrink from this inner pain. It's like you're plunging into a whirlpool of memories, where things were simpler, when you and Jungkook had more trust, and your relationship seemed more natural. But now, as you scroll through all the words you said to each other during the last fight, you wonder.
You wonder if it's worth staying together if he's no longer the person you knew and felt safe with. You feel a kind of disappointment that penetrates your soul, as if someone is slowly throwing away all the positive emotions you felt when you were with him. Jungkook seems to have become different - colder, less open. And although you are still close in bed, in everyday life, things are getting more complicated. You lack understanding, you lack his openness to you.
You think that things might have been different if Jungkook had been the man you remembered, the man who was ready to open up, the man you could trust without question. But now he's become distant, and it hurts you more than you're willing to admit.
Your heart is struggling between the desire to leave everything as it is and the need to let him go. You don't want to be part of a relationship that is constantly burdensome, where even the smallest conversation turns into a conflict.
Sometimes it seems like you just don't know how to be together. You feel that even if you stay together, it won't be what you both want. You wonder if there's even a chance for things to go back to the way they were, or if the connection is irreparably broken.
You know that your New Year's is now ruined, and you're walking alone in the middle of the street. You want to call a taxi, but you realize that you left your phone somewhere near Jungkook.
Before you knew it, you reached the end of the street and stopped on the sidewalk of the Yongsan Bridge, which led to the center of Seoul. You leaned on the pylons and admired the New Year's fireworks over the Han River.
Suddenly, you started crying again, hard and desperately. No matter how much you thought about your relationship, trying to piece it together, the only thing you knew for sure was that you were completely and irrevocably in love with Jungkook.
You can't imagine your life without him. These thoughts just tear you in half. Your heart says I love him, stay, but your mind says run away, he's not your match.
While thinking about Jungkook, you suddenly hear a car stop behind you. You don't pay attention, you're too focused on your feelings. You're standing on a bridge with hundreds of cars passing over it, so you don't realize what's happening behind you.
Only when a strong arm grabs you do you want to turn around, but it's too late. Hands grab your mouth, and before you can even scream, you are being roughly pushed into a car.
You try to break free, but your hands are clamping down, and you don't have enough strength. Every move you make, every attempt to call for help, is drowned out by the cold voices of those holding you. You feel yourself being pushed into the car, and the doors are slammed shut.
"Don't struggle, bitch!" - You hear one of the voices say, sounding like a low grunt. One of the kidnappers ties your hands with a strong rope. They put a black bag over your head and you try to breathe slowly so that the air will last for a long time. Your mouth is gagged.
You try to keep your fear under control, but your heart is pounding and your hands are covered in cold sweat.
The car is speeding through the night city, and you don't know where you're going. You think about Jungkook and pray to God that he will somehow find you. You're scared and you don't know what to expect from these people. But suddenly, in the midst of this silent terror that holds you in a vice-like grip, you hear a part of the conversation that makes you shudder.
"We followed her from the club. He didn't follow. It fucking lucky Jungkook doesn't know where she is and it worked..." - One of the men says and it sounds like he's on the phone. He is silent for a while and then speaks further. "We'll bring her soon. Just 15 minutes." - The kidnapper goes silent, and you feel your blood run cold. The car drives smoothly on the asphalt and you try to listen for any sounds. Feel the road under your wheels. You are tied up and the car is quiet.
The kidnapper don't talk to each other when you feel the car leave the asphalt and drive down some dirt road. You don't know how many minutes pass before the car stops. You hear the sound of your own heart. The door of the car interior opens.
A man takes you in his arms and carries you. You don't resist, you just see the grass and soil that comes into your view. You are taken to some garage or warehouse and put on a chair, tied to it. In a moment, the bag comes off your head and you see four men in front of you. The one holding the black sack in his hand steps aside to make way for his boss, obviously.
This man looks at you.
"Holy shit, look who Jungkook is fucking. Such a hottie!" - A laugh ripples through the room. You try to look at the man's face, but the light hitting your face makes it impossible.
"She's just a tidbit. That bastard should have kept a better eye on her." - Another man says.
"It's definitely Yonte. But God forbid anyone lays a finger on her. I'll personally cut her milky skin to get back at Jungkook. It seems he forgotten about me. He's found a whore for himself, so safely from his side. Not even realizing that this was the moment I was waiting for. I can't wait to see his eyes when she bleeds out." - He laugh crazily and his laugh all around and your heart sinks.
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metanarrates · 1 year ago
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hi. i'm a little bit drunk on wine, but please don't mind me. i found your post in the wild about orv and how it portrays the passive suicidality and i kept thinking about it. i don't really remember the exact chapter, but near the start of the book, when kdj teaches sys to subjugate the beasts and she says, self depracting, how she has no talent for it, and then kdj's inner monologue which goes something like 'if she's not talented, i should just kill myself'. i seriously didn't think nothing of it when i first read it! and that appeared again. and then the deaths happened, his backstory was revealed, the whole OD arc... and i kept thinking about that one throwaway line in the first chapters. GOD
orv does this very neat trick where it reveals kim dokja's suicidality through a slow drip feed. that throwaway line near the start of the novel. a single death or even a handful of deaths. him saying that the novel helped him survive. those are easy to not notice. but as he dies again and again and you learn more and more about him... yeah. it's not a realization that hits you all at once. when you learn that he's attempted suicide in the past, it slots perfectly into the puzzle you've already assembled of him at that point. a man who considers his own death an acceptable solution to most problems is one who has DEFINITELY tried to kill himself before
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sskk-manifesto · 6 months ago
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Ep 4 :)
#I LIKE Dostoyevsky. I like how mysterious and unreadable he is. What is his goal!!!! Why does he do what he does!!!!!!! He's very cool#I think knowing his ability now REALLY adds to his character. Him being so smart so manipulative so disruptive in the way he–#seemingly kills people on touch! Only added to this impression of him being “demon” and “inhuman”#But now that we know his ability you realize... That's all his doing; no ability.#His ability in a way does help humanize him by reaffirming that except for the moment he dies– he's got no superpower at all!!!#It's just him.#And yet at the same time also solves the exact opposite role of dehumanizing him because if it's not his ability that makes him like *that*#then he's even different than other ability users!!! Then‚ if not an ability user‚ if not a non ability user: what is //he//?#It's all SO compelling!!! Also makes for an extremely insightful narrative parallel with Dazai#Not an ability user not a non ability user. Not good not evil. (I feel like Dostoyevsky does exceed the definitions of good and evil as–#much as Dazai does. If he causes evil‚ yet does so with the intention of bringing salvation to humans– is he really *simply* evil?)#Both have these borderline superpowers that make them extraordinary beings (we can call it super intelligence‚ but it goes from controlling#their own heartbit to everything else) but are unrelated to their respective abilities! Once again making them neither this or that#I find Karma's words at the end to be extremely insightful.“Ace was evil for sure‚ but this man isn't even evil.#He's a being from the beyond. A being that exceeds human limits.” Like!!! That's all that there is to it!!!!!!#Back to this chapter / episode. There's some themes / worldvies once again I don't agree with but narrative wise I think it's extraordinary#I feel like after the Guild arc the writing really matured a lot and this is a kind of preview of what the doa arc is going to be like#(aka very very well written especially if compared to the previous arcs)#The plot twists of this episode are all so unpredictable and exciting!!! I think it's remarkably witty how it takes advantages of previous–#clichés - villains always revealing details about their own ability in a way that is quite baffling - to actually surprise the audience.#It's so effective. How skillfully unpredictable Dostoyevsky is to the point you can never guess what he will do next!!!#Him killing Karma is... Idk so so soooooooo interesting. I could talk about this forever but I'm being very dispersive in the rable and–#running out of tags. The whole episode you're sorta rooting for Dostoyevsky. He's very cool and comes out charming in the way he keeps–#surprising the audience. He looks bothered by Ace's disregard of other people's lives and that makes him sympathetic too.#But then he kills Karma out of nowhere and it's an “Ah! You fell for his lies too– remember he's nothing but evil. He cares just as little#about life as Ace does”. And then??? Karma in his last words is himself so generous in his words to Dostoyevsky. It's baffling.#And it almost feels like thenarrative is once again turning around and telling you you should root for Dostoyevsky.#It's endlessly fascinating.#I have more to say about the worldviews I don't share and the art style Dostoyevsky was portrayed with this episode (love it!!)#But alas ran out of tags
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thepixelelf · 13 days ago
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warnings: domestic animals. tags: established relationship. christmas stuff. wc: 869
this has been in my drafts since dec 2023 and I realized it was collecting dust so I wanted to just roll up my sleeves and finish it so... here you go!
[a little thing called bad timing] Everyone knows that Seungcheol is a dog person -- you most of all. There's not a day that goes by without him turning his phone to face you with Kkuma's adorableness on the screen, sent to him by his parents. Of course, you love those pictures. Kkuma is an angel, and if you were the jealous type, you'd probably be wary of just how much Seungcheol pampers her, but luckily, you're not. In fact, you absolutely understand his behaviour. Before your family's cat passed away when you were younger, you're pretty sure you took about a million pictures of her just... existing.
That said, when Seungcheol not-so-subtly hinted that he wanted a dog last Christmas, you had to let him down easy. Your apartment at the time wasn't pet friendly, and you honestly weren't in a place financially to support a puppy with the love and attention one would deserve. Seungcheol's pout back then almost broke your heart, but he knew you were right, especially when you said you couldn't afford a cat, either, even if you wanted one.
This year, though, you moved to a new building together -- where pet allowance wasn't a choosing factor, but an added bonus -- with much more space in your apartment. And earlier this fall, you got the promotion you've been gunning for since you got your new job.
Which leads you to now. Everyone knows Seungcheol is a dog person. Everyone also knows you're a cat person. But the adorable black and white puppy in your arms has completely won you over with its yips and jumps, the way it climbs straight into your lap when you sit down, and its adorably glimmering eyes. A friend of a friend's dog had puppies, and when they asked if you knew anyone interested, you thought of your own glimmery-eyed partner. It was about time.
There are still quite a few days until Christmas, but you're sure that if Seungcheol had a choice, he'd want to meet this precious pup sooner than later. You were lucky that Seungcheol told you he had to stay later at work today, meaning you could pick up the puppy from your friend and acclimatize her to your apartment before he comes home. You've been spending the time decorating, as well, and you consider the tinsel in your hand for a second.
"Hey girl," you say, crouching down and scratching your new puppy's head. "How do you feel about wearing a little gift-wrap bow?"
She doesn't answer, of course, because she's a dog, but you chuckle at the adorable tilt of her head anyway.
"Yeah, I agree. Too cheesy."
The familiar sound of the front door getting unlocked makes you lift your head. "Oh, he's here." You lift your finger to your lips in a shush even though the puppy obviously has no idea what that means, and you scoop her into your arms.
From where you're standing in the kitchen area, the front door is just around a corner and out of sight. One more time, you give the puppy a conspiratorial grin before peeking just your head around the corner.
"Welcome home--"
"Hey, I'm back--"
Your jaw drops as you take in your boyfriend, or rather, the crate he's poorly hiding behind his legs, and the giant, shiny red bow stuck to the top of it.
Seungcheol smiles the way he always does when he comes home and sees you. "What are you doing hiding back there? C'mere, I got something for you."
You don't budge. "Is that...?"
Understanding that you aren't coming closer, Seungcheol just chuckles and brings the crate out in front of him. The front grate reveals a fluffy, orange kitten behind it.
You gasp. "You didn't!"
He shrugs. "I thought, since you've been missing your childhood cat recently, and we got this new apartment..."
"Cheol, I..."
"Did I read it wrong?" Seungcheol's eyes shine with worry and doubt. When you can't find the words to explain yourself, he continues. "I'm sorry. I should've asked, I know. Minghao knew somebody looking for homes for kittens and I just thought about how much you like Wonwoo's cats and--"
The puppy in your arms has finally had enough of hiding, and she barks, hopping to the ground. She trots over to Seungcheol to thoroughly investigate the shoes he's yet to take off.
"Oh," he says simply, eyes wide at the surprise house guest. "Oh!" Carefully, he sets the crate on the bench you have next to the door, out of reach of the excited puppy. He crouches down and pets her with both hands. "Hello," he coos. "Aren't you precious?"
Your heart warms at the sight, especially when the kitten curiously paws at the door of the crate instead of cowering away at the sound of a dog.
Seungcheol looks up at you, delighted. "Who's this?"
Just like he did when you asked him about the kitten, you shrug. "Merry Christmas?"
He must've suspected as much. His smile widens as he stands, and he holds his arm out for you to come to his side. You wrap your arms around him and giggle when he presses a hundred kisses to your cheek, while the puppy bounces in excitement at your feet.
"Seungcheoool," you whine, though to say you don't like his attention would be a total lie.
His smile widens until his eyes become your favourite crescent moons, and he locks his hands together behind you. "You know," he teases with a playful tilt of his head. "I've always dreamed of having twins."
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thealternateuniverse · 9 months ago
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How did you handle it?
1st part here
A/N: Didn't expect the number of likes on the first part, thank you so much 😭
Also, I know now who does Paige's braids now. I saw her on tiktok.
Warning/s: Read at your own risk
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Following Ice's most recent live stream, Y/N's phone is constantly vibrating, and her Instagram feed is overflowing with follow requests and mentions. She didn't leave her apartment on the weekends after hearing from her teammates about their near-brawl on Friday night. She was trying to blow off some steam at the time, but she lost her cool and almost got into it. Azzi gave them a good earful, and Geno had more to say. Y/N apologized to her teammates, explaining that she was acting out of character at the time.
She felt a little better and forgot about her parents' divorce for a while. Not until her father texted her that he will be at her game next week. Dad is always the one who comes to her games; mom is too busy and cannot make time.
Frustrated, Y/N drops the dumbels.
"Yo! "KK, give me back my phone!" KK is running for her life, clutching Paiges' phone. Paige, on the other hand, looks terrified as if her life depends on with whatever is contained within her phone.
"Whaaaat! Dude, I just caught you stalking---asfghgjjhkjlhlk!" Paige caught up with KK and placed her palm on her mouth.
"Shut up!" She took her phone.
KK sounds like a dying goat now, with Paige's hands still on her mouth. Paige lets go of her and KK gasped for air.
"Shit, Hah! I just did not saw you do that P!" KK is shaking her head, laughing.
"I swear K, if you open your mouth I'll make sure that you will nev---" KK immediately zipped her mouth.
"You got it P! Your 'lil secret is safe." KK gave her a mischievous wink.
These two are as mischievous as ever.
Shaking her head, Y/N slips off her sweat-soaked muscle top, revealing only her sports bra. She could see Paige and KK's jaws drop from her peripheral vision. She turned towards them.
"What? "You guys have some saliva here." Y/N pointed to the side of her lip. The two appear to have come to their senses and instantly pretend to do something. Weird. It's as if they're seeing each other for the first time, taking off their clothes. Y/N twisted her hair into a sloppy knot and resumed lifting. She was halfway through lifting when Nika slapped her bum.
"Babe, I need you to braid my hair. Do you have a sec?"
She nodded to Nika and followed her. They walk past the others who were working out, and Y/N couldn't help but notice Paige and the way her biceps and deltoids popped while doing that damn pull up. Get a grip, Miller; you see your teammate doing this on a regular basis. Y/N reprimanded herself.
"So is mine eye enthralled by thy shape," Nika recited dramatically.
Nika came out laughing after noticing Y/N glancing at Paige.
"Don't worry, babe; she gets it a lot. And... Damn, did you just realized she's fine? You have to keep up; you have a home court advantage here." Nika winked. Y/N gave Nika a puzzled glance. It's not that she likes Paige; she just admires the muscles. That is it.
"I don't know what you're talking about, babe." Y/N said making Nika snort.
"Okay, alright. I'm blind, I can't see, must be my poor eyesight."
Y/N endured Nika's teasing while doing her hair; she doesn't want to appear defensive, so she allows her friend and pretends that Nika Muhl seeing her looking at Paige Bueckers didn't affect her.
"Thank you, Baby. "I love the braids." Nika blew her a kiss before they returned to their routines.
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Paige glanced around cautiously before scrolling through her phone. She couldn't afford to repeat the same mistake that had led to her being caught by KK. She wasn't stalking, though; the algorithm following Ice's live had led her to Y/N's tagged photos and edits on Instagram. It was kind of annoying that Y/N was now known for being the "pretty girl" from the team instead of for her talent as a player. Paige had witnessed firsthand how great Y/N was during her time at Stanford. If it weren't for her MCL injury during her second year, she would have been neck and neck with Nika's stats in the last 2022-2023 conference.
"Girly, you are still not done? Man you are really living up to be a stalker ." KK tried to glance at Paige's phone, Paige was quick to hide it.
"I am not!" Paige responded defensively.
"Of course, why stalk when you can see her every day. Home court advantage." KK playfully raised her brows and gestured towards where Y/N is, shooting 3 point shots. Yeah, Paige mused to herself. Paige knows she's got the home court advantage, always playing on familiar turf. Y/N, on the other hand, is a social media ghost, her posts as rare as a shooting star, reserved only for strategic brand alliances. Just like she guards the offensive players on the court, she protects her privacy with the same intensity, keeping her personal life shrouded in mystery.
"You are not gonna like this." KK's gasp breaks the silence, drawing Paige's attention as she leans in, sharing her latest sports article discovery. With rapt interest, they both delve into the words, their silent communion speaking volumes as they absorb every line, lost in the world of sports unfolding before them.
Sports Agent Katherine Taylor-Miller Entangled in New Romance Amidst Divorce
In a whirlwind of events, sports agent Katherine Taylor-Miller finds herself at the center of media attention following news of her divorce from husband Craig Miller. The prominent figure in the sports world, best known for representing basketball star Breanna Stewart, is reportedly embarking on a new romance with Los Angeles' top firm lawyer, Drew Ross.
While Taylor-Miller has remained tight-lipped about the circulating photos online, indicating her involvement with Ross, sources close to the situation confirm that the divorce proceedings are well underway. The couple, who share a daughter, aged 22, are navigating this transition as their family dynamic shifts.
Adding a layer of complexity to the situation, their daughter, a talented athlete in her own right, has been making waves on the collegiate basketball scene. Initially playing for Stanford University during her freshman and sophomore years, she has recently transferred to the University of Connecticut for her junior year, following in the footsteps of her mother's client, Breanna Stewart.
The unfolding saga has captivated both sports enthusiasts and gossip followers alike, as speculation mounts about the implications for Taylor-Miller's career and personal life. As the situation continues to develop, all eyes remain on the high-profile sports agent and her newfound path forward.
Paige's confusion bubbles to the surface in her question. "Wait, so... that is Y/N's mom?"
KK nods solemnly. "Yep. Didn't expect that."
Paige's brow furrows as she scans the article again. "That article is nasty. It was unnecessary to mention, Y/N."
The two exchange a knowing glance before their gaze shifts towards Y/N, who remains blissfully unaware of the storm brewing in the tabloids.
KK weighs the options for a moment before nodding resolutely. "Very. She's not gonna like it. Do we tell her?" KK's gaze seeks approval from Paige, who meets it with a shake of her head, silently acknowledging the delicate situation and opting to shield Y/N from unnecessary distress for now. "She'll find out sooner."
KK lets out a low whistle, her disbelief evident in her tone. "Unbelievable. I never thought her mom is Katherine Taylor. That woman was a badass, but yeah, whoever wrote this has some unpaid rent due." Paige nods in agreement, a hint of frustration tainting her expression as they both recognize the injustice of the situation.
The sudden thud startles both Paige and KK. Their heads snap towards the source of the sound, only to find Y/N on the bench-side taking a water break, her hand suspended and her phone on the floor.
"That's what we're talking about."
----------------
Y/N absentmindedly follows her teammates to Subway after they decided to grab some lunch there. Despite the buzz of camaraderie around her, she's lost in her own thoughts, savoring the simple pleasure of a break from today's events. Just as she starts to believe her day couldn't get any better, her world is rocked by the unwelcome intrusion of her parents' divorce being publicized.
Her heart sinks as she grapples with the sudden exposure of her family's private turmoil. Y/N has always been fiercely protective of her personal life, preferring to keep it shielded from prying eyes. The earlier article had already crossed a line, but this latest development feels like a betrayal of trust, a violation of the boundaries she holds sacred. She can't help but feel a surge of anger and frustration at the unnecessary intrusion into her family's affairs, a bitterness that threatens to overshadow the sweetness of her teammates' company.
Y/N finds a glimmer of solace in the silent solidarity of her teammates. As they gather around the table at Subway, not a single word is spoken about the tumultuous news that has shaken her world.
In that moment, Y/N feels a profound gratitude wash over her, a deep appreciation for their unspoken understanding and respect for her boundaries.
"The salad won't eat itself," snapped Paige, jolting Y/N from her deep thoughts. Y/N mechanically took a fork, but her salad remained untouched.
"Eat up, Miller. You need your energy." Paige commandeered the fork and began mixing the salad for Y/N.
"How did you handle it?" Y/N's voice trembled with vulnerability, causing Paige to pause mid-stir.
Paige didn't respond immediately, her mind racing to grasp the depth of Y/N's question. It didn't take long for the realization to sink in—it was about the divorce.
"When your parents divorced? How did you handle it?" Y/N's eyes glistened with unshed tears, a vulnerability she hadn't intended to reveal. Paige felt a pang of empathy twist in her gut. Y/N's question caught her off guard.
"Nevermind," Y/N murmured, her voice barely above a whisper as she wiped away the threatening tears. Determinedly, she finally began to eat her salad, hoping to distract herself from the emotional turmoil of the day.
As she savored each bite, Y/N made a conscious effort to push aside the weight of her parents' divorce. Her phone buzzed incessantly with texts and calls, but she only mustered the strength to respond to her dad via text. All she wanted was for their divorce to be finalized so they could all move forward with their lives.
Her thoughts drifted to the inevitable changes ahead. Her mom and dad would each go their separate ways, free to pursue new relationships if they so chose. While the idea of their family no longer being whole was a painful one, Y/N knew it was time to accept reality.
Above all, she yearned for one simple request: no more articles portraying her solely as her mother's daughter. She was determined to forge her own path, to carve out her own identity separate from her family's legacy.
-------
"You okay, babe?" Nika asked Y/N, slinging her arm around her shoulders. Y/N responded with her most convincing smile. "I'm fine," she assured Nika, though the skepticism lingered in her friend's nod. "Just so you know, we're here for you, okay?" Nika offered a comforting hug. "Thanks, babe."
As they strolled back to the university after lunch, Nika, Azzi, and Aaliyah had already forged ahead for their afternoon classes, while Paige had disappeared into god knows where. Y/N's afternoon lay open; no classes to attend. She pondered whether to take a stroll around her apartment's neighborhood or indulge in a swim in the pool.
Waving goodbye to her teammates as they reached the university's parking lot, she contemplated driving back home.
Sighing, Y/N parked her car and headed towards her apartment, only to be surprised by a waiting Paige Bueckers holding a pint of Ben & Jerry's chocolate fudge ice cream.
"Paige, don't you have a class or something?" Y/N asked, noticing Paige still in her training attire: a UConn Huskies hoodie, basketball jersey shorts, socks, and slides.
Paige handed her the pint without saying anything.
"You asked me how I handled my parents' divorce," Paige shrugged.
"W-well forget it. I didn't mean to ---"
"It was hard. I thought we were a happy family, that they had vows, through thick and thin, for better or worse type of shit. I was angry, wondering what could possibly make them decide they weren't meant for each other. They had me for Christ's sake. It hurt to think that one day they'd meet someone new and start over, and what about me if that happens?" Paige took a deep breath before continuing.
"The good thing is, I was able to understand that it's better to have that divorce than to pretend they're still happy. I saw how happy my father is with his new family, happier than he was with my mother... All I'm trying to say is, whatever you feel in your current situation is valid—all the thoughts running in your head, the what-ifs, they're all valid. You'll come to terms with it soon, just give yourself time to feel it. And don't forget, you have us. It sucks to be a divorce child if you don't have siblings. It's okay, Miller. You can mope, you can lash out, feel it all the way."
Y/N burst into tears, sobbing uncontrollably, surprising Paige, especially considering they were in a parking lot. Y/N didn't know why the floodgates had opened—was it the news of her parents' divorce? The stress of the article? Or perhaps simply the ice cream? Regardless, she found herself releasing all the pent-up emotions.
"Christ, Miller. I didn't expect you to break down right here," Paige panicked, attempting to pacify her, though Y/N continued crying loudly.
Paige gently grabbed her hand, and together they walked towards Y/N's apartment, Y/N still sobbing loudly.
"People will think I made you cry." Paige said shaking her head.
They entered Y/N's apartment, with Paige leading the way as Y/N was too preoccupied at the moment. Paige settled Y/N on her couch and opened the ice cream she had brought. Y/N accepted it and took a spoonful, still teary-eyed.
Paige looked at her friend in disbelief, finding her oddly cute in this vulnerable state, with red, glistening eyes and puffy cheeks from crying.
They sat in silence, letting the ice cream provide comfort. It worked, as Y/N's tears eventually ceased.
"Thank you, Bueckers. I needed that cry and... the ice cream. How can I ever pay you back?" Y/N leaned her head on Paige's shoulder, grateful it was Paige who knew her favorite ice cream flavor.
Paige pretended to ponder the question. "You don't have to. Just get back to being yourself," she said, gently ruffling Y/N's hair. Y/N sighed in contentment.
"I mean it, though. Thank you for being here. I was resigned to being miserable today," Y/N said, her voice filled with gratitude. They exchanged glances, and Paige found herself momentarily lost in Y/N's mesmerizing eyes. There was something about them that drew her in. She quickly looked away, not wanting to get too carried away and do something she shouldn't.
"Yeah, it's nothing. Get yourself together, Miller," Paige replied, more to herself than to Y/N, feeling her ears grow warm.
"Are you okay? You seem... red?" Y/N asked, noticing Paige's flushed cheeks.
"Not as red as you are. You look ugly when you cry, Y/N," Paige remarked, trying to lighten the mood.
Y/N stiffened at the comment. This was the first time she had heard Paige address her by her first name. The surprise on Y/N's face caused Paige's brows to furrow.
"What?" Paige asked, suddenly feeling self-conscious.
"Nothing, you've never called me by my name before. Or maybe you did, I just didn't hear you," Y/N shrugged, trying to downplay it. She didn't want to make Paige feel awkward.
"I just don't know what to feel hearing it from you. It sounds different," Y/N admitted.
Paige choked on her response, caught off guard by Y/N's vulnerability. This woman will be the death of her one day. -----------------
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brucewaynehater101 · 9 months ago
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Okay, you know that hc where Tim Reincarnates as The Trash of the Bat Family? It got me thinking of him scamming and making the "Real League of Assassins". He integrates Pru, Z and Owens early, makes them his people (or assassins disguised as servants).
"Where's the coffee?"
Owens, pouring chamomile tea, "We're all out of coffee, Sir."
"Energy drinks?"
Pru, throwing a trash bag away. "All gone too, Sir."
He integrates Kon before he experiences the SA with Tana Moon and other ladies, and Kon becomes his bodyguard.
"Are we doing something bad?"
"Oh, we're doing something veeeeery bad. To Lex Luthor."
Tim rescuing Damian.
"You're Damian Al Ghul Wayne. You're an Al Ghul and a Wayne. You can do whatever you want. I'm not taking care of you."
Damian, not trusting this lying bastard, secretly follows him around. Tim knows Damian is, and begrudgingly just accepts Damian into his fold until he reaches Gotham again.
"If you die, Timothy, I will dominate the world, kill everyone, and then myself."
I love these additions so much!!!
The "Real League of Assassins" is such a petty name, and I live for it. Just Tim as a kid and his little League of Assassins (depending on how far back he went into the past and how soon he aquires the OG best assassin squad). It would be double hilarious if his "Real League of Assassins" doesn't actually kill anyone, but I also respect Tim's right to commit murder however he deems fit. I like to imagine how mad Ra's would get at the name.
Part of Tim's asshole cover comes from Pru. There's two ways this can go. One, Pru is her complete self in front of everyone (she will break someone's nose no matter their price tag). This causes major scandals and issues for Tim cause how could he hire someone who behaves like that? Or Two, Pru is creepily pleasant and respectful around other company, and Tim continues to act like usual around her. This causes people to pity Pru for having such a horrible boss.
I also live for Bodyguard Kon AUs. You know the two of them are playing a "I know your sickly Victorian child looking ass can beat me up, but I will pretend I don't know this until you tell me why" with a "please stop saving me from every small things because I know you know a sunburn isn't going to kill me." It's dealer's choice on how soon Kon finds out about Tim's vigilante gig. Also, if Kon is a bodyguard in this, is he also Superboy or the equivalent? Does he become a superhero once he finds out about Tim's heroism? There's no way Kon would stick around Tim if he believed the persona Tim kept up.
Cue Tim accidentally forming the YJ again, but this time it's hidden from the JL radars and is a closely guarded secret.
As far as Damian, I absolutely love that quote you included. It's so Damian coded and I live for him threatening to take over the world. I also want to see Tim's reaction and how concerned he is over Damian threatening to kill himself. As an older brother, he legit could care less about Damian managing to kill the entire world. It's Damian wanting to die that scares him.
As far as the AU, Tim is trying so hard to distance himself from the Waynes that his dumbass shouldn't have picked up Damian in person. He was probably too anxious to leave it to someone else, but now he has a tiny suspicious assassin who reluctantly became fond of him.
There's a few different ways this can play out.
One, Tim picks up Damian in his vigilante costume and never unmasks to Damian. The little tot starts to think of this vigilante as maybe a brother before being given to Bruce (angst of abandonment tied with identity shenanigans. How soon does Damian realize that Timothy "Trash" Drake is the one to save him from the League?).
Two, Tim starts off with his secret identity in tact but reveals himself while traveling back. They bond, Damian is left at Bruce's, and, to the surprise of literally all the Waynes, the kid is seen constantly talking to the complete jerk Timothy Drake. Damian is actually nicer to this douchebag stranger than he is to some of his family members. What's equally shocking is how kind Tim is to Damian. Tim hasn't been cruel to children before, but he hasn't gone out of his way to be nice either. This cues investigations into Tim by the batfam.
Three, Damian refuses to go live with his dad and sticks around Tim when they return to Gotham. Depending on when Tim rescues Damian, Tim's fake uncle adopts Damian, and they become brothers legally. When Bruce finds out Damian is his son, he doesn't take the excuse, "I found him on the streets!" from Tim seriously.
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slytherinslut0 · 1 year ago
Text
MATTHEO RIDDLE- Beg For Me
Chapter Twenty Seven-Info: You and Mattheo have been butting heads for months, since you were assigned as his tutor, and one day during a session full of tense bickering, he has enough.
Tags: EEEEEEE ANGST!!!!! LOVE!!!! CONFESSIONS!!!! PROGRESS!!!!! Also, mentions of childhood trauma, childhood emotional abuse, parental abuse, mentions of death, extremely deep and emotional. Very painful. Also, some adorable Theo in the beginning.
FIND THE REST OF THE CHAPTERS HERE.
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Just as Mattheo was on the verge of popping open the door to the washroom, he halted, pivoting back to face you, locking eyes in an intense moment.
"I'll go out first," he declared, his gaze dancing from your eyes to your lips and back, a fleeting yet charged exchange. "If Nott is still there, I'll distract him. Meet me in the courtyard."
Before you could formulate a response, he swiftly flicked the lock open and swung the door wide, leaving the room with purpose. Internally cursing him in a cascade of languages, you realized the gaping flaw in his plan--it was you who had called out to Theo from inside the washroom, not him...so surely, Mattheo's departure from the bathroom before you would hardly appear inconspicuous to Theo, should he still be lingering outside the fucking door.
Brilliant. Bloody brilliant.
Releasing a prolonged breath laden with anxiety, you pivoted back toward the mirror, meticulously assessing your appearance. Adjusting your mask, you coaxed your hair into place, smoothing down any unruly strands. Just as you were finally beginning to feel the tension ease off of your shoulders, the bathroom door groaned open once more--revealing a tall, brown-haired figure, elegantly clad in a sharp blue suit.
Your heart stuttered, and you spun around, breath catching in your throat. "Theo..."
Theo entered the bathroom, a cheeky smirk adorning his lips as he leisurely assessed you from head to toe, allowing the door to click shut behind him.
"Looks like I've finally figured you out," he declared, his voice a low, honeyed drawl. "Although it seems I'm a tad too late."
Closing the distance, you anxiously tried to apologize. "Theo, I'm so sorry-"
"Don't be, Bella," he interrupted, wetting his lips, softly raising a hand to his heart. "Your secret is safe with me."
"My...why? In exchange for what?" Your words hung in the air, lost as you struggled to make sense of the situation.
A low chuckle escaped him, his gaze lingering on your lips. "Why would you think I want something?"
Tension gripped you. "I just-"
"I already told you," he interrupted, his hand ascending toward your face, delicately brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. "I'm a gentleman, little bird...you owe me nothing...all I ever wanted was confirmation."
Your brows furrowed, his touch sending subtle tingles over your cheek as his thumb grazed against it. A delicate shiver traced its way down your spine, and the room seemed to close in as his gaze locked onto yours with an intensity that held the weight of unspoken revelations.
"Confirmation?" you questioned.
"Mm," he murmured, his eyes briefly scanning your features, and then he slowly withdrew his hand, leaving an almost lingering warmth on your skin. "Confirmation that Riddle's got it bad for you...as bad as I've ever seen it."
Your heartbeat quickened, a mix of confusion and denial clouding your thoughts. "No-"
"Yes," he retorted, a hint of amusement in his eyes at your quick dismissal. "We all could tell there was something going on with you two, little bird...we could see it in his eyes, the way he looked at you...come se tu fossi il sole e lui fosse un bambino che lo vede per la prima volta..."
(As if you were the sun, and he was a child seeing it for the first time...)
"And you...you looked at him just the same..." he added, his voice a low, encapsulated murmur, "since you've come around, it's been obvious, even to us heartless jerks, that he's different...it's clear that whatever this is, whatever you two have been hiding...È il tipo di cosa per cui aspetti per tutta la tua dannata vita..."
(it's the type of thing you wait your whole damn life for.)
Your words caught in your throat, a mixture of shock and disbelief washing over you. Stammering, you struggled to find a coherent response as warmth and bliss swirled in your chest, something deeply suppressed coming to life inside you at his revelation.
You looked up into his deep blue eyes, speechless for a moment before managing to utter, "thank you, Theo...thank you so much..."
"Of course, amore..." he said, his hands casually finding refuge in his pockets. "I understand precisely what he sees in you...I can only envision the fiery clashes of tongues you two must have..."
Smirking, you remarked, "You have no idea."
Theo chuckled, the mischievous glint growing in his eyes. As you made your way to the door, an impulsive idea took hold. Without hesitation, you spun back around, meeting his eyes as you reached for his face, drawing it down towards you, and placed a soft, lingering kiss on his cheek. With a smirk, you pulled back, leaving him momentarily taken aback.
"Your secret is safe with me too, Theodore..." you murmured, a sly grin playing on your lips. "Wouldn't want anyone to know that the Italian playboy has a heart, now would we?"
"You're absolutely right, Piccolo diavolo..." he quipped with a smirk, his eyes glinting playfully. "Now get out of here before Riddle comes to claim my bloody head."
Suppressing a snorted giggle, you confidently swung the washroom door open and gracefully glided back into the dimly lit hall. Swiftly traversing the corridor, you aimed straight for the courtyard, a subtle cringe registering as the rhythmic patter of rain on cobblestones reached your ears. As you approached the courtyard's entrance, there stood Mattheo, casually leaning against the wall, patiently awaiting your arrival.
Or rather, impatiently. "What took you so long?"
"I, uh, got caught up..." you stammered, wincing inwardly as your throat tightened. It didn't seem like the right moment to mention Theo, who had obviously somehow snuck past him. "I'm sorry."
"What am I ever going to do with you," Mattheo sighed, hint of amusement his voice as he turned toward the forest. "Come on,"
Mattheo guided you through the courtyard, the rhythmic cadence of raindrops creating a melodic backdrop to the night. The atmosphere crackled with an unspoken tension, and the moon and stars, obscured by thick clouds, added an eerie allure to an already anxious situation. Your dress, now entirely drenched, clung to your form, and navigating the wet ground in heels became an adventurous feat on its bloody own.
Frustration mounted as you navigated the slippery pathway in your soaked dress and precarious heels. An unfortunate misstep led to a stumble, and you found yourself cursing both the uneven ground and your choice of footwear.
Mattheo's irritation mirrored your own, evident in the sharp tone of his voice. "Watch where you're going, Raven..." he said, barely sparing you a glance as he continued moving. "Do I need to bloody carry you?"
You rolled your eyes, mumbling a response under your breath as you struggled to keep up with him, aggravated further by the relentless rain and Mattheo's brisk pace. The forest swallowed you both as you entered into it, its dark shadows and dense foliage intensifying the unease in the air.
"Can you please slow down?" You hissed, your voice rising over the sound of the clashing raindrops, hastily stepping over splayed branches and sharp rocks. "Is this all really fucking necessary?"
Mattheo stalled, the black fabric of his suit clinging to his strong frame, outlining the tensed contours of his body. As he paused and turned to look at you, his eyes reflected the profound darkness of the forest, deep pools of intensity that seemed to absorb the ambient light. The raindrops glistened on his chiseled features, and his once meticulously styled curls now lay flattened against his forehead, drenched by the relentless rain.
His intense gaze pierced through the darkness, capturing your soul as you staggered closer to him. The thick canopy of the trees cast shadows, with only the moon's pale glow filtering through the dense forest greenery.
"I'm giving you what you wanted," he declared, the weight of his words echoing in the eerie stillness. The moonlight outlined the contours of his soaked, dark suit, emphasizing the true irrationality of the moment, and you snuffed a scoff. "We're almost there-"
"This isn't what I wanted, Mattheo...I just wanted you to talk to me!" you snapped, frustration boiling over and echoing in the quiet forest. Your words hung in the damp air, mingling with the sound of raindrops and the distant rustle of leaves. "I'm sick of all the fucking theatrics...Gods, I'm soaked, I'm freezing, my dress is ruined, and we could get attacked by an endless array of creatures at any bloody moment....yet, you don't fucking care...you won't even slow down for me..."
Mattheo blinked, his emotions entirely indecipherable, his stern expression momentarily softening as he studied your figure. Seemingly dismissing your words, his eyes then shifted to the darkness behind him.
"I have a time frame...we need to move," he urged, but a scowl marred your face.
"Mattheo..." you pleaded, desperation laced in your voice, grabbing his arm and making him spin back around to fave you. "For Godric's sake! Please!"
Mattheo's eyes bore into you, the irritation etched on his features creating a tension that echoed through the darkened forest.
"What, Raven? What the hell do you honestly want from me?" His voice was a hiss, teeth bared, face contorted in a snarl. "You want me to tell you all my dirty little secrets, is that it? You want to know the dark corners of my past? What if I lay it all bare, and you decide I'm not the man you thought I was, huh? What then?"
You swallowed, dispelling the lump of anxiety lodged in your throat. Glimpsing the hardened features of the man before you, you mustered the courage to reach up and pull his mask off, before doing the same to yours, tossing them onto the forest floor.
"You're worried I'm going to leave," your thumb grazed his cheek as you questioned, "...is that what you're worried about, Mattheo?"
His gaze underwent a subtle transformation, softening amid a tempest of conflicting emotions. An audible swallow punctuated the charged atmosphere, the rain forming a delicate veil between you, its mist blending with the subdued downpour beneath the thick canopy of trees. Without a word, he nodded, his silent admission making your blood buzz with electricity.
"I'm not going anywhere," your whisper hung in the damp air, the fragility of your voice carrying a delicate plea. "I prom-"
He scowled, stalling your words as he shoved your hand away and attempted to step back, but you were quicker, seizing his arm and halting his retreat.
"Listen to me, Riddle...Gods, I'm not going anywhere, okay? I couldn't, even if I wanted to..." the intensity of your gaze bore into him, the misty rain creating an ethereal backdrop to the raw exchange between you.
"Yes, you could," he muttered, his voice torn. "And you will want to."
"I know your heart is at war with your head, Mattheo...but I'm here...I'm right fucking here...there's no leaving, there's no forgetting you..." you released a shaky breath, observing the subtle shift in his gaze toward your lips, his breathing gradually slowing, and you pulled him closer. "It’d be easier if you asked me to tear my heart out of my chest with my own fucking hands, then it would be to even make an attempt at forgetting you…"
"You're insane," he muttered, smirk teasing the corners of his lips, a mixture of disbelief and vulnerability in his eyes. "No wonder I can't get enough of you..."
You huffed, involuntarily blushing in response. Theo's words echoed in your mind, a persistent refrain like a neon sign blinking in the darkness. Type of thing you wait your whole fucking life for, he'd said.
As his sentiment lingered, the words dancing around you like a ghost, you felt a warmth enveloping your body despite the shivers running down your spine. The chill in the air became irrelevant, overpowered by the undeniable heat radiating from within. Gazing into those enchanting brown eyes, the ones you've let yourself drown in over and over and over again for months now, you grappled with the realization that what you felt for this boy transcended the superficial.
You didn't want him, you needed him. You didn't like him, you fucking loved him. And that meant for better, or for worse.
And as you stood there, struggling to contain the overwhelming emotion, you could hardly resist the urge to confess. Until, he raised his hand, gently pulling you closer, holding you tight against his chest. It felt like a silent prayer, an unspoken gesture for which no words could suffice.
"My childhood was similar to yours, Raven," he admitted, his words laced with a mix of reluctance and vulnerability. "Rich asshole parents, never around...dad was too busy fucking his assistant, and mom was too preoccupied spending his money to care...they pawned me and my brother off to my grandparents for most of our childhood."
Mattheo's grip tightened around you, his embrace offering both solace and a sense of protection as he paused for a moment, letting his words linger in the night air. You tensed, mentally bracing yourself.
"Which would have been fine, but my grandparents had their own issues," he continued, his voice carrying the weight of years gone by. "They split up when we were five...my brother went with my grandma while I stayed with grandpa...everyone blamed him, everyone fucking hated him, cut him out. My dad treated him like a piece of filth, as though he'd singlehandedly murdered his best friend or some shit...I was the only one he had left..."
As his words unfolded, you could feel the resonance of his pain, the narrative of abandonment and familial strife painting a somber picture in the midst of the rain-soaked forest--and at that, you could relate.
"I was all he had, and I was a fucking asshole...I treated him like shit because I felt like shit," he almost growled, his voice carrying the burden of remorse, tone becoming more strained with each syllable. "My brother was given everything--adored, loved, and cherished while I wasn't even looked at, fucking thought about. Wasn't my grandpas fault, but I took it out on him...I told him I fucking hated him, that he ruined my life. I just did whatever I wanted and he let me, because what else was he going to do?...this went on for years, until we got into a huge fight one night, and he called my dad...I left the house before he got there...just stormed out without another word..."
Mattheo's grip tightened further, his chin digging into the top of your head as he continued, the pain in his voice echoing louder than ever. "The next call I got was from my dad...telling me grandpa's at the hospital," he admitted, a heavy weight in his words, your heart beating in your throat, his echoing in your ears. "He went to chase after me and some fucking goons jumped him, in the middle of the street, while I was too busy being a fucking selfish, pathetic little bitch..."
The rawness of his story unfolded in the damp air, adding layers of complexity to the connection between you, the rain serving as a silent witness to the cathartic release of his past. Your chest rung with pain, lids fluttering shut as your lungs reached for air, gripped by the depth of the agony in his tone. Mattheo's voice trembled as he continued, the raw pain seeping into the damp air.
"It was my fault...all of it, my fucking fault...and my dad made sure to hammer that into me...every single fucking day since," he spat the words through gritted teeth, hastily letting go of you, shifting his hands to your shoulders as he met your eyes. "I reached the hospital just before he took his last breath...and you know what he fucking said to me?"
You gasped, taken aback by the overwhelming surge of emotions within him. "N-no,"
"He told me to forgive him, " he seethed, his teeth barred, tears threatening to spill from his intense gaze. "He told me to fucking forgive my dad, that insufferable prick who never spared him a fucking minute, never spared me a minute...that heartless bastard...how the fuck could he tell me to forgive someone like that? How the fuck could those be his last fucking words?"
Your breath hitched, a sharp intake of air as his words etched themselves into the recesses of your mind. The pain and raw emotion swirled around you effortlessly, an inescapable tide. “Rebelling was my coping mechanism, yet it was fleeting. Nothing I did was enough, always slipping through my fingers like fucking sand…”
His grip on your arms tightened, fingers digging in with a brutal force that threatened to splinter bones, jolting you within the clutches of his anguish.
"…I just-fuck--tell me where to put the fucking anger," he growled, the desperation in his voice palpable, echoing the tumultuous storm within him. "Fucking tell me, Raven...fuck...where the fuck-"
"Hey--breathe, just breathe," you whispered, meeting his gaze with understanding, bringing your hands up to his face, pulling him close. "It wasn't your fault...you were just a boy...a boy who needed his family...needed someone to tell him he was loved...they turned you into a fucking weapon and then told you to find peace..."
"And you were right..." he sniffed, his hands shaking as he held you; his eyes actively searching yours as if seeking solace. "...I let it all consume me...possess me," he murmured, voice heavy with regret. "I became the weapon they wanted, the one they made me out to be, because anger was better than wallowing...better than grief...better than guilt..."
Your hands trembled against his damp skin, the collective heat from your bodies hot enough to ignite the whole forest into pure fucking flame. You glimpsed his lips, and he wet them, little rivers of rain running down his skin, your hearts pounding in rhythm.
"At least rage would lift me up...make me stand..." he whispered, blinking the liquid away from his eyes, and whether it was rain or tears, you weren’t entirely sure. "Make me walk..."
"I understand..." you chewed your cheek, breath shallow as you nodded. "I completely understand."
"I've done shitty things...more than I could even begin to tell you about...all because I couldn't deal with my own bullshit, but, now...it just feels different...I feel different..." he confessed in a hushed tone, the weight of his words palpable. "Where I once craved vengeance, I now crave rest."
"Yeah?" You blinked, searching his face, thumbs softly brushing over his cheeks. "Why is that?"
"Because of you," he said, glimpsing your lips, his eyes clouded with emotion. "You gave me peace in a lifetime of war."
Your breath froze, time suspended as if under a spell, the world around you caught in a momentary stillness. Your grip on his face tightened, as though afraid he might slip away, the rain dancing around both of you in a silent cascade. And as the two of you stood there, his face, held in your hands, revealed a complexity of emotion that entirely mirrored your own--a beautiful mess, a captivating ruin.
As raindrops continued to create a soft percussion around you, you found yourself lost in the depths of his brown eyes, unsure if you were even inhaling anymore. But one thing you did know, was that this was the boy you loved, an intricate blend of imperfections, a chaotic disaster just like yourself.
In this instance, he embodied everything you've ever yearned for without even realizing it--a mix of nobility and ruthlessness, courage entwined with vulnerability, a paradoxical blend of strength and weakness. He is the type of man that you'd choose to stand beside in a war, never wishing to stand against. He's been unapologetically badass, yet somehow still possesses a heart that resonated with honesty. He was the embodiment of your dreams, realized in the midst of pure, complete chaos, and you wouldn't want to change a goddamn thing.
And just as you were parting your lips, just as you wanted to let the sacred words fall from your tongue, Mattheo's head snapped up--and then you heard it too, the breaking of branches shattered the moment, an ominous sound of something moving in the distance.
Without hesitation, Mattheo seized your wrist, his grip firm yet gentle, pulling you into motion with an intense purpose. "Come on."
Deeper into the forest you followed, the urgency palpable in each step. After a brief but purposeful journey, he slowed, guiding you behind a tree with a subtle urgency, the surroundings now cloaked in a heightened sense of alertness. As you pressed against the rough bark, the sounds of animals moving reached your ears, an eerie symphony veering closer.
In the veiled darkness, Mattheo's firm grip on your wrist subsided as he released you, his movements fluid despite the rivers of rain streaming down his face and body. Unfazed, he reached for his gun with practiced ease, the metallic click of it being cocked and the safety being flicked off resonating in the air.
Brows furrowed in confusion, you met his eyes, searching for answers. Mattheo, seemingly calm amidst the night's intrigue, noted your perplexity.
With a steady gaze, he said, "This is a thestrals' nest."
Your features contorted even further, not understanding what was happening--caught between the concealment of the tree, the mysterious sounds of the night, and the sudden revelation. Raindrops trickled down your face, mirroring the cascade of questions flooding your mind.
As Mattheo peeked out from behind the tree, you stammered, "A thestrals' nest? But...wh-what do you need that for?" Your heart thundered, fear gripping you. "...you're not hurting them, are you?"
"No," Mattheo's head whipped back at you, raising a hand to his face and pushing his sopping hair off his forehead. "I'm protecting them."
You paused. "You're-"
"Merlin's sake you ask a lot of questions, don't you?" He teased, an amused glint in his eyes despite the undercurrent of annoyance in his tone. "It's a long story, but basically I've spent a lot of fucking time in this forest...pretty much every night since first year I'd come out here...and one night, I just started studying them, their sounds, behaviours...just watching what they do."
A pause lingered, pregnant with anticipation. Mattheo cast another furtive glance beyond the sheltering tree, his gaze slicing through the darkness like a laser. When he pivoted to meet your eyes, the intensity of his gaze held a silent invitation into his life.
"But then my fascination extended beyond just watching them. I took out some textbooks, literally the only books I've ever taken out of the library, other than that book on stars, were about them...I just wanted to know everything," he said, cautiously examining your stunned face. "And by doing that I found out that they're vulnerable to certain predators, but especially Acromantulas...so as the years went on, and I noticed their population dwindling, I knew exactly the reason why, and I knew I had to do something about it."
"I tried spells, natural deterrents, enchanting the trees...didn't work. I even planted a bunch of magical herbs and plants around their nest, ones that emit scents that are repulsive to Acromantulas, but they're not strong enough, I guess." Another brief pause, another glance out behind the tree. "I had to get creative...I went to Snape...told him about my idea, and he was on board. He gave me permission to enchant the gun, and actually helped me devise a spell called Stellaverti specifically for this purpose. It's not meant to harm the spiders; it's designed to deter them effectively without causing any lasting damage."
He took a deep breath, his voice steady. "When I cast the spell on the bullets, they transform into magical projectiles. Upon impact, they create a blinding light and emit a loud, echoing noise. It's disorienting and frightening, encouraging them to retreat. The effects are temporary, wearing off after a few minutes, but the spell allows me to safeguard them while still keeping them and others free from harm."
Your jaw hung agape, every fiber of your being seemingly pulled skyward. Speech escaped you, a silent symphony of astonishment conducted within. Vibrations of disbelief and internal tremors accompanied each uttered revelation, leaving you in a state of wordless chaos. When words finally left your lips, you didn't even know what the hell you were saying.
"You created a fucking spell?"  Your voice, louder than intended, verged on a near scream. The question, a burst of astonishment, reverberated through the forest. "Why not wield your wand directly?"
"Using my wand directly poses a risk, Raven. If I were to miss, the spell might deflect, hit something else, causing unintended consequences..." he said, his expressions completely serious. "With the modified handgun, I can maintain a safer distance while ensuring precision and accuracy. It's about minimizing risks and maximizing the effectiveness of the deterrent."
He paused for a moment before adding, "Plus, having a dedicated tool specifically enchanted for this purpose allows me to act fast...I only do this for a couple weeks during the Acromantula breeding cycle, when they're more aggressive...they usually stay fucked off for the rest of the year."
As Mattheo's explanation hung in the air, you stood there, utterly speechless, your mind trying to grasp the depth of what he just revealed. The man who others perceived as indifferent to everything had been quietly dedicating himself to safeguarding these enchanting, misunderstood creatures all this fucking time. A profound sense of beauty unfolded in the revelation, leaving you stunned by the contrast between perception and reality.
Despite the rain seeping into every crevice, a newfound warmth enveloped you. In this mystical realm, your shock transformed into a profound appreciation for Mattheo's silent commitment to protect the fragile balance of the forest. It was a revelation that transcended the weather, the night, and everything else, leaving you with an indescribable certainty that you always fucking knew--beneath the surface, there was more to this man than met the eye. Despite all he's been through, there was still good in him.
"Stay put, and be quiet…” Mattheo instructed in a hushed tone, his eyes locking onto yours with an intensity that demanded obedience. “Please.”
When you nodded, he moved, darting out from behind the tree, shifting toward a closer one with swift purpose. Peering out from your hidden vantage point, the thestrals' nest unveiled itself--a spectral scene of maternal serenity juxtaposed against the dark mystery of the forest. Yet, the tranquility was shattered by the impending arrival of Acromantulas, their looming forms casting a foreboding shadow over the ethereal tableau.
Your focus shifted to Mattheo, becoming a silent witness to a ballet of controlled power and graceful precision. Like a predator in fluid motion, he maneuvered through the trees, a master of stealth. His every step seemed to echo with purpose, aligning effortlessly with the approaching threat while remaining veiled behind the foliage.
In the orchestrated dance between protector and adversary, Mattheo's movements radiated a controlled power, a testament to years of dedication. As he raised the enchanted gun, a cascade of spells erupted with an otherworldly grace, each shot hitting its mark with eerie precision. With each resounding pop from Mattheo's weapon, the Acromantulas recoiled, swiftly retreating into the rainy silence. The echoes of their hurried departure lingered in the air, blending with the sound of branches snapping in the distance as the forest reclaimed its calm.
Mattheo, having deftly wielded the weapon, then lowered it with deliberate ease once he had scared the last of them off. He tucked it back into his pants before moving toward the thestrals, his movements now mirroring a far more soothing rhythm. Gently petting them, he reassured the creatures that the threat had passed, murmuring words of safety and comfort amidst the delicate patter of raindrops.
Stammering through the aftermath, you approached him, your mind in complete disarray, grappling with the revelation that shattered all of your preconceived notions. Everything you thought you knew about this man had been upended, leaving you standing on the precipice of understanding, yet feeling like you were teetering on the edge of an unknown abyss.
Words eluded you, lost in the echoes of enchanted gunfire and the fading retreat of Acromantulas. Your gaze lingered on Mattheo, who now stood amidst the thestrals, his demeanor shifting from vigilant protector to a gentle guardian, and it was in this moment of perplexity, a newfound attraction stirred within you, a magnetic pull fueled by the complexity that unveiled itself beneath Mattheo's exterior. The dichotomy of strength and tenderness, protector and nurturer, had never been more alluring, and you'd never been more fucking attracted to him in your life.
As you closed the distance, his gaze met yours, the intensity in his irises now softened to a warmth akin to melted chocolate. Rivulets of rain cascaded down his face, weaving through the contours of features that seemed to shed the need for concealment. It was as though, in this rain-soaked sanctuary, he’d finally found the freedom to reveal his true self.
In the weighty silence, he blinked, a subtle tension clinging to him. "I've said a lot tonight, and I understand if it's too much for you-"
But you cut through the air, your words breaking free in an unguarded moment, shaking your head as you stepped closer, kinking your neck back to fully catch his eyes.
"I am so fucking in love with you."
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Find chapter 28->
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lostcherise · 3 months ago
Text
Green Is the Color
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pairing: jesse pinkman x f!reader
summary: Jesse - a friend, a roommate, a fool who's hopelessly in love with you. He did his best keeping his feelings on check, but it all unraveled after one night you brought a guy home. (this is based on a request by @madzzz0797 my lovely mutual)
warnings/tags: roommates!au, pining, jealousy, allusions to masturbation, light angst (if you squint, i really need to improve on that), jealous jesse, smut, oral (m and f receiving), p in v,
word count: 8,237 (i'm sorry?? don't know what happened there)
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 Lady, lady love me, 'cause I love to lay here lazy.
Soft and distant singing was your alarm for the day, definitely a gentler sound than the angry robotic beeping of your digital alarm clock. A sleepy smile crept its way on your lips, your eyes still shut, and you snuggled deeper into the pillow with a content sigh. You rustled about a few more seconds beneath the covers, before you bravely opened your eyes and welcomed the warm glow of a sunny Sunday morning. 
We got everything we need right here and everything we need it's enough. Just so easy when the whole world fits inside of your arms. 
The singing grew louder as you made your way down the hallway to the kitchen, accompanied by some occasional clanking of utensils. Walking on your tiptoes, you tried your best to be as stealthy as possible, it was a rare occasion to get to listen to Jesse sing. Your smile grew, and you bit your bottom lip fighting the urge to laugh at him. Although he was off key at times, you somewhat enjoyed his singing voice; just as buttery smooth as always.
Like waking up too early, maybe we could sleep in. Make you banana pancakes, pretend like it's the weekend now. 
With his back still turned to you, he kept on singing, only interrupting himself for a celebratory 'yeah bitch' after successfully flipping a pancake into the air, to which you failed to contain your laugh, so much for stealth. 
"Shit," Jesse whipped his head back to look at you. So much for a greeting. "Good morning." he smiled, face a tomato red and quickly redirected his attention back on the stove and he really hoped you hadn't noticed the rosy hue adorning his cheeks. 
"Good morning," you smiled back at him. "How come you're cooking breakfast?" you peered over his shoulder, the pancake batter bubbling to life before Jesse flipped it to reveal the golden brown bottom. 
"It's my turn to make us breakfast for the weekend, remember?" Jesse noted the obvious, with a teasing raise of a brow. 
Realization hit you, sleep ridden eyes widening softly. "You're right." you bumped his shoulder with yours. 
You smiled at the little tradition you two had created a year ago, a year after living together as roommates. Each weekend you guys took turns to cook breakfast for one another. It had all started after you had seen Jesse cook for the first time,  what you later realized was his favorite choice of breakfast food - huevos rancheros. Initially, it had come as a shock to you, he really gave off the impression that he hardly knew how to boil an egg, which you also had admitted to him. And that's when he took it upon himself, as a personal challenge to prove himself and made it a house rule that you alternate cooking breakfast for each other on the weekends. 
"Banana pancakes on the menu today, m'lady." Jesse informed you in a fake posh accent. 
"God, you know your way around a lady's heart." you sighed, with a resting palm on your chest, and placed a quick peck on Jesse's cheek. Before he could even register what had just happened, you were already setting the fully stacked plate onto the small white worn down kitchen table, right next to the small kitchen stand that housed various appliances you had no room for in your guys' small kitchen . 
When you weren't looking, with your back turned to him while you set up the coffee maker, Jesse moved to graze the spot your lips had left their fiery mark on. His cheek still burned beneath his touch, even after one minute had passed- as if the blood coursing through his veins had suddenly transformed into molten lava burning him on the inside out. See, ever since you and Jesse had moved in together, he found himself in a rather sticky predicament. 
He was in love with you. And you didn't know. And mostly likely did not share the sentiment. And that's why he kept his mouth shut about it, and opted to suffer in silence. 
Even now to this day, two years after his big revelation, he was scared. Scared of how much he loved you, scared of how one day he'd wake up and decide that he would come clean, two years was a long time to keep to himself after all, and risk losing his most meaningful friendship yet.  It had been two years since that one night Jesse had come to surprise you at the end of a very tiring day of work and evening classes. He remembered how your brows were furrowed, while you hugged an oversized hoodie you had confiscated from Jesse's clean laundry two weeks prior, closer to you. Your head was hung low, and you were paying no mind to your surroundings, so much so that Jesse had to honk to get your attention. 
And the moment your mood shifted when you had noticed him, was the first time his heart swelled up in his chest. How a wide grin stretched on your face, and how you had jogged excitedly over to his beloved Monte Carlo. The second time was just minutes after you had gotten in and and he had suggested you drop by your favorite ice cream parlor for a much needed pick me up. Jesse took much pride in being able to read you so well and know what you need in an instant, and that's how he had come to the conclusion that night that we was falling for you at light speed. 
Deep down he knew that no good was bound to come out of this situation he had created for himself, but to his defense that wasn't entirely his fault; you had your part to play in this too. With the way your eyes twinkled when the sun shone just right during the golden hours of the day, the way they crinkled at the corners every time you laughed at a sorry attempt of a joke he would make, the way your nose would scrunch in distaste whenever you didn't like something, the way your plush lips pursed whenever you were deep in thought, the way your smell lingered on for just a few fleeting seconds whenever you would leave his side. You smelled like a mix of pears, oranges and jasmine, which in turn reminded him of being bundled up on the couch on a cozy autumn afternoon. And Jesse would be a liar to say that he didn't often dream of spending most of his days like that with you.  
A series of expletives left Jesse's mouth, which in turn had your attention. You whipped your head back, just in time to see a black disk being discarded into the bin. "Mmm, crispy." you mused, scrunching your face in mock delight with a shimy of your shoulders.
"Shut up." Jesse flipped you off, but the smile dancing on his lips showed no annoyance. 
With a playful eyeroll, you set two steaming cups of cheap drip coffe on the table. Jesse soon followed, a sugar jar on one hand and a bottle of maple syrup on the other. You stacked a couple of of pancakes onto your plate and proceeded to drizzle a bit of maple syrup on top, all the while Jesse threw in his fifth spoonful of sugar in his coffee. "I'm still surprised you have teeth." you quipped. 
"These bad boys?" Jesse bared his surprisingly straight pearly whites at you. "Nah, they've been through worse." he shrugged and proceeded to take a sip of his coffee flavored syrup with a hum. And he was right; he'd been four years sober and you couldn't be more proud of him. Although he hardly believed so himself, Jesse had really managed to turn his life around. Getting kicked out of his aunt's house at just 19 was the start of a long journey towards recovery for him. At first the path was lonely with a lot of setbacks. His first struggle: passing his SATs and getting accepted to college. That was when you had come into the picture and that was when the steep uphill towards the top was less bleak with you on his side. 
"That's why you should appreciate them more." you countered, left cheek all puffed and rounded, filled with sweet pillowy goodness that you washed down with bitter coffee, the contrasting flavors on your taste receptors sending happy signals to the neurons in your brain. Another bite, another appreciative hum that resembled a moan a little too much. With a quirk of a brow, you shot Jesse a quizzical look that fell unnoticed as he was too busy shoveling food in his mouth while fidgeting on his seat. 
What you did not know was that at that moment, Jesse was fighting his own personal hell; trying to get those sinful sounds of yours out of his head. You really had no business moaning over some banana pancakes, he wasn't even that great of a cook; you had to be exaggerating on purpose. If that was the case, then you had definitely gotten what you wanted. 
Oblivious, you continued eating, almost quietly. Almost. After every two bites or so, you'd sneakily slip a quiet moan that would have Jesse twitching in his pants. "You know what I think?" you asked, swallowing the last bite of your pancakes. "Ditch business," you pointed a fork at him, before grabbing another pancake from the now smaller stack. "Go to culinary school." To which you earned a disbelieving snort from him. 
"You know what I think?" it was Jesse's turn to ask you that. He leaned in, his eyes gleaming with something more as they studied your face and in those seconds you took the chance to drink him in too. The five o'clock shadow that accentuated his chiseled cheeks and jawline, his eyes; the bluest oceans you often found yourself helplessly drowning in, the way the corners of his lips quirked into a smirk. "You pretend you like my cooking so you can get in my pants." he teased, his tone lower than usual. 
"What would you do then?" you asked, surprising even yourself with your fowrward question. Part of you wouldn't mind if Jesse would brush it off entirely, pretend nothing was ever said, yet curiosity was eating at you from the inside. What would he do? What did you want him to do? It so seemed that Jesse was more dumbfounded at your brazeness, as he was a sputtering mess, wide eyes avoiding yours entirely, seemingly more focused on finishing his breakfast. Surprisingly so, another small part of you grew disappointed as seconds ticked by and Jesse remained silent, downing the last sip of his now lukewarm coffee. 
"Gonna hit the, uh," he paused to clear his throat, voice thick and strained. "Hit the shower..." Jesse jutted his jaw on one side, the tip of his tongue rolling beneath his cheek and without saying much else, getting up in a hurry. Your gaze trailed his retreating form, until he disappeared into the hallway, and inside the bathroom. 
A few seconds pass, before you decide to go back to your room, that was conveniently next to the bathroom. The sound of the shower running resonated through your room in a low, steady hum. You crawled into bed and closed your eyes as you laid there, relaxing. 
Until you heard it. 
At first you thought your mind was playing tricks on you, but no, you heard it again. A little louder this time. With your eyes transfixed on the ceiling, your mouth fell open as you let out a silent gasp. There it was again, it was almost being drowned out by the water running, but being right next to the bathroom it was hard to miss the sounds of Jesse moaning. Heat rushed to your cheeks, it felt so wrong, as if you were intruding in on his personal time. You could leave, hang around in the living room, until he finished, literally. Or, you could lay there and listen to Jesse struggle to keep his voice down, his sinful whimpers growing a tad louder as he brought himself closer to the edge. 
"Jesus." your heart was threatening to burst out of your chest at high speed. A familiar burning traveled all the way from your chest and nestled in your abdomen, your body pumping with a feeling you couldn't exactly put your finger on. Out of their own accord your thighs squeezed and squeezed until you could get a semblance of euphoria, but it was not enough. Jesse's muffled moans grew in frequency and a few curse words slipping in here and there, and you could hear the urgency in his voice. 
"Oh....fuck." it was long and drawn out, and it was like music to your ears. Silence fell from the other side of the wall other than the water hitting the shower tiles, which also stopped after a minute or two. Your heart was beating so fast, you could hear the blood pumping in your ears, because what the fuck had just happened? You had just eavesdropped on your roommate masturbating and you enjoyed it. With a swift swipe of your tongue over your dry lips, you let out a sigh and turned your head to glare at the top drawer of your nightstand. 
With a scrunch of your brows, you squeezed your eyes shut for a second, and reached inside for your old trusty pink vibrator. You caught your bottom lip between your teeth, an alien sound leaving your lips as you sucked air in, and stared at the small yet wondrous toy in your hand. It sort of felt wrong that you were so turned on by your roommate jacking off, but you were so dead set on chasing your own high at that moment that you gave no second thoughts, and the toy buzzed to life. 
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The next weeks were pretty much spent trying not to think about that one Sunday morning, so much so that you sought temporary solutions in going out on dates, but to no avail. You couldn't quite put a finger on what it was, maybe like the fact that you looked for Jesse in all the guys you had gone out this, 'but Jesse...' always lingering in your mind as an afterthought to every little thing. You didn't know what it was exactly about that morning, but it had awakened suppressed emotions you hadn't even realized you had, or had chosen to ignore them. Only one guy, Andrew, was deemed worthy and made the cut, and that was only because he had earned the least amount of 'but Jesse's out of the previous ones, so he had earned himself a third date. 
That is how you had ended up stumbling in inside your dark apartment, your tangled bodies hitting your entryway stand in a frenzied state of kissing and groping. 
"Shh," you mumbled in between kisses, but that only seemed to spur Andrew on, and he let out a throaty moan the moment your fingers tugged at his golden brown hair, that very much resembled Jesse's. "Be quiet, you're gonna wake my roommate up." you broke the kiss with a whisper and blindly dragged him towards your room. 
Meanwhile, he tried to attatch his lips wherever he could, whether it were along your arms, the side of your neck to which you moaned, only because your mind was wandering off to a certain someone. "I can. Question is," he paused, his lips overing just above your ear, his hot breath fanning over your skin. "Can you?" Easy there tiger, was how you truly wanted to respond, yet you masked it with a moan. He was sweet talking you the entire time but his words fell unnoticed as they mindlessly slipped from one ear and out the other. Clothes were being discarded in a frenzy and soon enough you found yourself tangled in between the sheets with the almost stranger. 
The nightstand lamp cast a soft glow on his features, your eyes scanning his face, searching for a sense of familiarity. You found it in his eyes, the same hue as Jesse's yet they weren't the same at all. Andrew leaned down to bury himself in your neck, and your eyelids fluttered shut and pictured the only pair of blues you were longing for, while Andrew worked his way on your body, set on getting you there. The room was filled with noises of you, moans mixing in with the rhythmic sound of skin slapping against skin, that only grew faster by the minute. There it was, that familiar burning growing within, ready to envelop you like a wildfire. With furrowed brows, you tried to consentrate on it, trying your damn hardest not to let it slip away. Above you, Adrew groaned hotly, his rhythm growing sloppier by the second, and his hips stuttered as he stilled inside you and spilled into the condom.
And just like that, the fire dwindled. 
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Jesse dragged his feet across the hardwood floor, sluggishly making his way to the kitchen, dragging a hand across his bed ridden eyes and face. Despite having splashed his face with cold water, he couldn't get rid of the sleepiness, maybe a cup of coffee would do the trick. As he neared the kitchen, he heard rustling and your muffled voice, probably talking on the phone, he assumed. He neared the kitchen entrance with a smile, ready to greet you and his entire mood shifted. 
Where Jesse normally sat on the kitchen table, when he would share his meals with you, was another man. Jesse's heart plummeted and it felt as it was being cut to pieces with a blunt butterknife, slow and painful. Maybe he was overreacting, but the way that stranger had moved the chair to be closer to you, the way his body was shifted close to yours, and the fucking way he was playing with your hands while you talked; it drove him over the edge. His chest heaved and he clutched the hem of his oversized graphic tee, trying to keep the little green monster growing inside him at bay. 
You giggled at something the guy said to you and Jesse's chest constricted, only he got to make you laugh like that. At that moment, your gaze lifted up and connected with Jesse's, surprise painted on your features for just a couple of seconds, but you hid it with a smile. "Jesse, good morning. I made extra coffee for you." you pointed at the coffee maker. 
"Mhm, morning," he mumbled under his breath. "Thanks." he tried a little louder, his voice coming out broken from the lack of use and all the pent up emotion that tightened around his throat. 
"Andrew, this is my roommate I was telling you about." you turned your attention to the guy next to you. "Jesse, this is Andrew." 
"Hi." Andrew greeted Jesse after a beat of silence. "You know," he chuckled dryly. "I thought your roommate would be a girl, to be honest." his laugh dying out as both you and Jesse remained silent, you only giving a polite smile in response and Jesse glared at how he was still holding your hand. He didn't even know this guy, if it was serious, surely he would know you were seeing somebody, so why was holding your hand as if you two were dating? 
"Why, you'd feel less threatened?" Jesse grumbled coarsely. In turn, Andrew's smile fell in an instant, his lips pursing in an o shape as he tried to process Jesse's comment. Just as shocked at Jesse's sudden aggressiveness, you momentarily pushed your head back and frowned in surprise, your eyes holding a silent conversation with his, to which Jesse merely shrugged in response. Quietly, he grabbed his favorite mug - it was a Billy the Puppet mug you had gifted him on his birthday about a year ago - poured himself some coffee and left the kitchen without a word. 
Once in the livng room, the TV came to life, Jesse flipping the channels mindlessly until he settled on some Seinfeld reruns. Ten minutes into the episode, he heard your voices approaching, yet he didn't turn his head to look as you bid Andrew farewell. Although, from the corner of his eye he was able to catch a glimpse of Andrew leaning down on your level and pecking you on the lips just as he was leaving. Jesse's top lip curled, the jealousy eating him up on the inside; that should've been him. And that chance was lost on him because he was a fucking coward, he had made his bed and now he had to lie in it. It's just that he hadn't expected it would hurt him so much and he was being unreasonably selfish for wishing things wouldn't work out between you two. 
The TV screen went black, which earned you an angry scowl from Jesse. "Yo, I was watching that!" his tone raised. 
"What was that?" you asked in the same tone, chucking the TV remote at his chest. Jesse's frown deepened, whispering a silent ow, while he rubbed the sore spot of impact. 
"What was what?" Jesse asked indignantly, emphasizing his t's. 
"Back then," you stated obviously. "In the kitchen?" you pointed at that direction, trying to get your point accross. 
Jesse let out a sarcastic snort. "Just stated the obvious." he replied more calmly this time, his eyes locked in on yours. 
"Well," your chest puffed out as you took in a deep breath, the motion catching Jesse's gaze, making his mind briefly wander off to somewhere else. "It was rude." To which Jesse merely scoffed at as a response. 
Silence fell over both of you, the tension grew and a frown resurfaced on Jesse's features again. "Look, I-" he paused to clear his throat, also recollecting his thoughts in the meantime. "I'm sorry. I'll be nicer next time." If there will be one, Jesse wanted to add but he would be treading on thin ice after that. 
"You seem to like him." he pointed out, taking in a few seconds to study your face, yet he couldn't really put a finger on the emotion painted on it, it almost gave off a vibe of uncertainty. "How long you two been goin' out?" he questioned hesitantly.
"Not long." you shrugged, tucking a strand behind your ear, then rubbing the base of your neck. That is your tell when you're nervous, Jesse noted silently to himself. "Third date was last night." 
Ah. Jesse's brows rose momentarily, the corners of his lips turning down and h,e let out a soft hum. He was aware of what happened on the third date, however, he wasn't expecting for him to have slept over. Maybe it was growing more serious faster than he thought. The monster inside him grew, its angry green vines tightening around his heart, causing his brain to paint pictures of you and him tangled in between the sheets, touching you in places Jesse could only do so in a wet dream. 
"Well, I hope it goes well." he lied through his teeth, topping it off with a smile, in hopes of sounding more sincere. 
It had, much to Jesse's disappointed, but he tried to keep that to himself, save for the sneering looks he'd throw Andrew's way the times he'd show up at your guys' apartment. All the while, Jesse tried to keep his distance the following weeks, because to himself that was the best course of action, which was turning out to be a terrible idea. Because he wasn't a regular friend, and stepping down to that status seemed to be hurting him more than not being able to be your boyfriend. In the midst of it all, he was also hurting you, it was painted on your face every day. Mainly the reason why he'd be cooped up in his room on his free time, to avoid seeing the hurt look on your face. 
Jesse was no stranger when it came to addiction, you were his vice. The most addictive drug he had ever been on; his highest highs, his lowest lows, and he was going through major withdrawal symptoms. Avoiding you like that was doing serious damage to his psyche. He was trying his damnest to detach himself from you. However, the harder he tried, the more he felt the urge to crawl into your bed, curl up against you, hold you tight until his body would mold into yours and the two of you would finally become one in the most literal sense.
Saturday morning had rolled, and Jesse having woken up first, made himself a cup of coffee. He had dragged his chair right next to the open kitchen window, blowing smoke from his cigarette outside - you hated it when he smoked it up inside the house, especially in the kitchen. After one long drag, he took a sip of coffee. Cigarettes and coffee, breakfast of champions, he thought and chuckled dryly to himself. 
"Jesse, we've talked about this before." your voice sounded defeated. 
"Cigarette's outside the house." he argued. 
"Barely." you scoffed with a shake of your head, moving to open the hood fan to get rid of any lingering smells. No reply came from him, but him putting out his cigarette when he was barely finished with it, was enough of an answer for you. 
After a quick inspection around the kitchen, you realized the sink was empty, no dirty dishes cluttering the basin, all counters and kitchen table empty, too. "No breakfast today?" you mused, unable to hide the sadness in your voice. 
Jesse replied indifferently with a grunt. "Nah, fridge was empty." 
Exasperated, you let out a huff through flared nostrils. "What's up with you?" 
That question made Jesse stir in his seat. "Dunno what you mean." he replied with a curt jerk of his shoulders. 
You move to stand near him, leaning forward to catch his avoidant gaze. "Jesse, we barely talk? And even when we do it feels as if it's done out of necessity. Also, you never," your tone increased and you followed with a pause, just for the added dramatics. "Ever, forget our weekend breakfasts." Jesse's silence fell heavy between the two of you, a disappointed scowl gracing your face. That's what upset Jesse even more, he'd rather have you be annoyed, angry at him, than disappointed. Anything. Anything but disappointed, because he feared that's when he would start losing you. 
Torn at the turn of events, Jesse was beginning to second guess his method and it seemed he was left with the only option he had left. That, of course, was to come clean, which was much easier in theory. 
"Don't you have like a date to go to?" Jesse asked, dismissing your previous comments entirely. His lips were formed in a tight line, he was unsure of why he was asking that, knowing the answer would hurt him. 
"Actually... we broke up two days ago." 
"Yeah? Why?" Jesse kept his head hung low, however he lifted his gaze to study you. There was a large hole at the hem of your shirt, it had once belonged to him and even used to be one of his favorites, up until one time it got snagged in the dryer. It had become your go to sleep attire from then on. Your finger kept tracing circles around the edges of the hole nervously. 
"Don't know, I broke up with him. It felt as if something was missing." 
"How are you feeling?" 
"Oh, I'm good." your voice brightened a bit, the usual perk in your tone almost there. "He was more bummed than me, though." you grimaced and shrugged it off. 
Jesse simply nodded in response, this time really lifting his head to properly look at you and he swore you looked as if there was something else lingering at the tip of your tongue, but you kept your lips sealed. Instead, you asked, "Wanna grab waffles?"
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The drive back home was silent, the only sound in the car cabin was the occasional slurping of your lemon flavored slushy. Although, you had somewhat tried to maintain your weekend tradition, your shared breakfast seemed more forced than having a date with a guy your mom had set you up with. Without having realized you had just arrived home, Jesse had just pulled the handbrake up, the croaking of the lever breaking you out of your trance. On the way up the stairs, Jesse kept his pace up a few steps ahead of you, the soles of his Nikes screeching as they rubbed against the stairs. The flesh of your bottom lip was trapped beneath your teeth, the corners of your mouth also forming a harsh frown. A dull pain shot through you when you dug your teeth in deeper, while you tried to bury your frustration building up within. You were losing your best friend and worst part of it all was you didn't know why. 
First thing Jesse did once he set foot in, was chuck his black beanie on the hallway stand, most of his sandy brown hair was sticking out in various places in a disheveled mess, while the ones closer to his face stuck on his skin, a shade darker and wet with sweat. 
"Jesse." 
"Jesse." you repeated sternly, not accepting his low grumble of a response. 
"What?" 
You bit your lip again, the frustration brewing in your stomach making you nauseous. "You tell me." 
"There's nothing to tell." Jesse feigned confusion, again. He kicked off he shoes and trudged to the living room, plopping himself on the sofa, the old piece of furniture groaning beneath his weight. You followed in, only seconds after, each step growing more powerful as frustration turned into anger. 
"Don't play dumb with me. Tell me what's going on." you demanded as you stopped to stand in front of him, between the couch and coffee table. 
Jesse's forehead wrinkled in exasperation, his icy blues bore into you. Though, just for two seconds and they fell back on his lap. 
"You've been avoiding me, and don't you dare," you pointed a finger at him just as his head snapped up, his mouth moving to say something, "Don't," you paused again, closing your eyes and exhaling, "Don't you dare deny it." 
Jesse sat there stunned and accepted your outburst in silence, because he wasn't dumb to not know it was well deserved. Your eyes left his form and darted up to the ceiling, feeling the corners tickling with fresh, warm tears that threatened to spill. "I feel... I feel like I'm losing you. I'm losing us." you cried into the ceiling. "I'm losing us and it hurts." 
"Yeah, well loving you hurts me more." Jesse snapped, jumping up to his feet. "Every day hurts because I'll always be your best friend, your-your r-roommate," he spat those words out as if they were poison. "It fucking hurts how you try and find happiness in other guys, yet it never works out. I-I could make it work out, but you won't give me a chance." he was yelling at this point, his neck red and strained while his voice ripped through.
Dumbstruck you stand there with your mouth agape, your mind in a state of delirium upon hearing Jesse's confession. Your stomach was doing somersaults and if you felt nauseous before, then now you definitely felt like throwing up. It seemed as if it was your body's natural response at that point. 
"I want to be happy for you, I do. Call me selfish all you want, but I can't stand you looking happy in somebody else's arms - like that bitch, Andrew." Jesse spat his name. 
"I wasn't." you whisper, and upon Jesse's silence you continue, "I wasn't happy with him, I mean. That's why I broke up with him; because in every thing he did, I kept searching for you in him and it was never going to work out." you confess, waiting for Jesse's response. His eyes darted left and right as he was trying to process your own confession. 
He sized you up, lingering for a little longer on your lips. "So what does this mean?" he asked lowly, voice tired and hoarse. 
"Just fucking kiss me, dumbass." 
In light speed, his lips came crashing down on yours; teeth clashing and all. It was by no means what you would usually describe as a perfect kiss, though it was full of raw and pent up emotion, so much so that you were flying on cloud nine. With every move of his lips against yours, he unleashed the sea of emotions into you; that way he wasn't drowning anymore, that way he could finally stay afloat with you by his side. 
"I love you too." you whisper softly against his lips, before pulling him in for another kiss, more gentle this time. You use your body to push his back down on the couch, landing with a loud thump. Automatically, your legs are on either side of his hips, your core nestled against his thigh when you opened up your legs to shift yourself to sit closer to him on his lap. Your hands held on his cheeks while you moved to kiss every inch of his face, your thumbs caressing loving shapes on his skin. Settling with a ghost of a kiss on the corner of his lips, you move to nuzzle your nose against his, your foreheads touching. 
"I want you, so bad." his hot breath fanned against your face, it tickled your lips and you closed the gap between you to satisfy the itch. Slowly, but surely, you felt yourself melting into him with each passing second, with each swipe of his curious tongue against yours. Jesse's kisses were like a drug, and now that you had finally had your first taste, you were already hooked. His cheeks burned hot beneath your palms, also loving the contrast of the soft skin on his cheekbones, with the roughness of his four day stubble. Reluctantly, you moved your hands away from his face, resting them on his shoulders, massaging them and moving to do the same on his chest and then back up. 
Meanwhile, Jesse's hands were on your lower back, too hesitant to move down to squeeze the slopes of your ass. "I want you to touch me." 
Jesse groaned, his hands immediately taking heed of your command. While his hands were preoccupied, he moved down to attack your neck with a trail of blazing kisses, stopping once he had found that sweet spot that had you writhing on his lap, where it turned into biting and sucking on supple skin, selfishly branding your skin purple. All the while, your hands slowly crept down his abdomen and up his shirt, memorizing how every inch of him felt. Thinking that it would be easier to do so without a shirt on, your hands found their way on his hoodie, peeling it off his shoulders. Jesse abandoned his post on your neck for a few seconds, so he could pull his t-shirt off his head, his upper body completely bare; he was all lean muscle. 
"Take off yours too." he mumbled, his hungry mouth attatched to your neck once more. 
"Mhm, no." you giggled as he playfully bit you. 
"Not fair, mine's off." Jesse complained. His deep, gravelly voice rumbled against your skin, causing electrifying bursts of pleasure to vibrate thoughout your entire body. His hands were off your ass, already hitching your sweater up, his nimble fingers moving up to trace the outline of your unclad breasts. "Shit, no bra?" he bit his lip and broke into a wolfish grin, making heat rise all the way up to the tips of your ears. 
Your hands abandoned their resting place on his chest and moved above your head. Jesse lowered his head, but his big blue eyes stared up at you his pupils blown out from all the love and deep want he held for you. Ever so tantalizingly slow, he pulled your sweater up inch by inch, placing hot open mouth kisses on each inch of skin slowly revealed. Once the garment was fully off your head and on the living room floor somewhere, he buried his face in the valley of your breasts, his nose rubbing against the mounts of flesh, as he took a hardened nipple in his mouth. 
Not once did his eyes leave yours, his powerful gaze along with his gentle assault on your nub had you moaning and clenching around nothing. His lips curled around your nipple sucking it even further into his mouth, all the while his tongue curled around it. The pent up need and desire was accumulating in your chest and it felt like a nuclear reactor about to go off. Jesse moved to pull back from your breast, only after softly biting and grazing his teeth on your soft flesh, causing you to take in broken breaths. 
"You're so beautiful, you know that?" he said and rested his chin on your chest. His eyes were wide open, literally and figuratively, so open he was allowing you to look in to all those feelings he had tried to keep hidden; for the first time in years he had the chance to be really open with you without any fear whatsoever. At a loss for words, you simply pulled him in for a searing kiss, fingers coming up to tangle at the roots at the back of his head, his own mimicking your actions. Too lost in the moment, you started grinding down on him, feeling him harden through his baggy sweats. 
"Let me help you with that, hm?" you whispered hotly in his ear, biting on his earlobe and tugging harshly, earning a shocked moan from him. You pulled back just in time to see his face flushing a beet red and you smiled smugly. You took your own sweet time as you slid off his lap, not wasting any second to leave his chest and abs unattended, making sure his skin was marked. Teasingly, you halted for a moment, your lips hovering over his clothed length for a couple of seconds before you made contact with him, mouthing his cock over the cotton fabric of his sweats. His thighs had now replaced his shoulders as your resting place, and you made sure you massaged him as your curious hands worked through their ascent towards his waistline. Immediately, your fingers hooked around the elastic bands of his sweats and boxers, pulling them both down with a swift movement; Jesse slightly moving his hips upwards to assist you. 
His hardened cock sprang free and you took a moment to drink in the sight of him, all spread out on the couch, flushed and naked. Your thighs rubbed together, the heat in your core increasing just by looking at him.  Wanting to savor this moment, you started slowly kissing your way up his inner thighs, until the tip of your nose bumped against his balls. Teasingly, you took one in your mouth, swirling your tongue around. A strained curse was heard above you and you lifted your eyes to see that Jesse's were shut, his face contorted in pleasure. Your hand was wrapped around his shaft, idly moving up and down in a circular motion, coming all the way to his tip to collect the bead of precum, and rubbing it all along his length as you stroked your way back down. Your mouth found its way on his other ball, repeating the same rolling action with your tongue, before moving to put both in your mouth. 
With a lewd sound, you pulled away, a string of drool connecting his balls and your mouth. Collecting more spit, you spat on his tip and slathered his girth with it. You took a moment to examine the sight in front of you, moving to lock gazes with Jesse, both of you looking at each other with lust blown eyes. Biting your lip, you teased your way to his tip, beginning to suckle on it gently. After a few seconds of only paying attention to his head, Jesse was growing impatient, trying to thrust himself further into your mouth, "Fuck, you're killing me." he let out a high pitched whimper. 
Almost sorry for teasing him, you bob your head up and down, easing him on gently against your tongue, allowing your jaw to get used to his size as you took him deeper, inch by inch. Finally, with a low hum your nose bumped against his pelvis the moment you took him all in. You'd never been so full. Pulling away for a much needed breath of air, you returned to the task ahead of you, with much more vigor, suppressing your gags as you rhythmically bobbed your head up and down his shaft; making sure to hollow out your cheeks for extra suction. 
Jesse was a whimpering mess and his sounds took you back to that day you had overheard him pleasuring himself, the memories of that day fueling the fire burning within you. Your own moans vibrated against his cock, making his whimpering moans grow in volume. The wet patch on your underwear just reminded you of how much you also longed for his touch, but you kept on gowing until you felt your jaw numbing, only then did you pull away. 
Your lips urgently met his in a frantic, yet passionate kiss. "I want to feel your lips on mine." you whispered lowly. 
For a second, that left Jesse confused, given how he was just kissing you, until realization finally clicked and he immediately sprang to action. Your positions were now reversed, helping Jesse unbutton your jeans as his trembling hands struggled. "I'm sorry, I'm a little nervous." he apologized, seemingly embarrassed. 
"Me too." you reassured, unzipping your pants and letting them peel your jeans off of you; the pair of pants meeting its fate on the floor along with all the other discarded items of clothing. You were left in just some old pink cotton hipster briefs; your choice of underwear clearly showing that you hadn't been expecting this turn of events. Though, to Jesse you still looked hot, hell, he'd think the same if you even wore a sack of potatoes. He gulped loudly, his eyes transfixed on the large wet spot in the middle of your undies; God, you were soaked.  
Unlike you, he skipped the teasing entirely, diving straight into work, ripping your panties off of you and delving into your pussy. He was eating you like a man starved, nose buried up all up in your pussy, constricting his airflow, but he didn't care, he was ready to suffocate. Just then, he made it his life's mission; to die nose deep in your needy pussy, the thought bringing him utter bliss. With just one taste of you, he was already drunk on your taste. 
He hummed against your center, his tongue moving in circles around your swollen clit in a steady motion that was bringing you closer  and closer to seeing stars. Breaking away for a much needed breath of air, he angled your hips forward closer to the edge, throwing your legs up wide and open. He kneeled a bit further, taking a mental picture of the sight in front of him. "I'll never get tired of seeing this." he moaned, angling himself lower to proceed on pleasuring you. His tongue lapped up all your juices and slid in and out of you; your soft muscles tightening around him. You glanced down on him, noticing how his right arm was moving up and down stroking himself while he ate you out. His voice vibrated against you in a low moan, and you felt your thighs quake as you were nearing to the edge. 
"Please, I need you." you begged, tugging at his hair in a motion for him to stop. Funnily, Jesse seemed to be more disappointed than you, not being able to get you off at least once before he was inside you, but if you were so willing to forgo that part, then he didn't mind; anything to keep you happy. 
Soon enough, Jesse found himself sitting on the couch once more with you straddling his lap. Your hand moved in between you, grabbing on the base of his dick, angling his tip right at your entrance. Given how wet you were, you sank down on him with ease, and you sat unmoving for a few seconds relishing in the way he filled you up just right, as if your bodies were made for each other. Jesse's hands found their way on the flesh of your ass, squeezing you lightly and moving to grind your hips against his in a motion for you to start moving. With no further need for instructions, your hips began rocking up and down in a familiar motion on his length. 
Jesse's right arm snaked around your waist, holding you down and pulling you in, flush against his chest, while his other hand moved to cup the side of your face to bring you in for a kiss. It was the gentlest kiss you'd exchanged thus far, his lips slow and deliberate against yours. You moaned against his lips, your clit occasioanlly rubbing against his pelvis, each time you gound your hips as you came down on his cock, causing your walls to tighten around him as you were a few steps away from nearing your release. Jesse was too, given how he couldn't contain his moans and whimpers, accompanied by a series of praise for you. 
"You ride me so well, baby." Baby, such an ordinary word, yet it had you reeling with a flurry of emotions. You didn't mind though, in fact you should get used to that now. 
Your ass slapped against his thighs rhythmically, the set pace quickening with each descent. 
"Oh, God baby, I'm so close." you whined and pressed your forehead against his. You stopped going up and down and started to grind your hips against his, seeking the much needed friction on your clit to bring you over the edge. 
"Let it out for me, let it all out." Jesse whispered before he pulled you in for yet another kiss. Angry red scratches marked his chest and you dug them even deeper once your hips stalled their movement. Your orgasm ripped though you in a hot white flash and your thighs trembled with pleasure. 
Not given even a second to recollect yourself, Jesse gripped your hips so hard they would be bruised tomorrow. Angling you a bit higher, his hips began pounding into you in a fervent pace. Your hands steadied themselves around his neck, your fingers locked in around the roots of his hair. They were a bit sweaty, but so were yours and you truly didn't mind. All you cared about at that moment was to get to see him come. His breath came out in broken gasps, mingled in with some moans here and there and beads of sweat collected on the corners of his brows. Overstimulated from your previous orgasm, you felt your walls tighten around him once more, a telltale sign of the fire igniting within you once more. 
One of his hands left your hip and moved up to brush away loose stands that were sticking to your sweaty forehead, his touch featherlight and sweet, in contrast to the way he was fucking into you like a madman. "I'm gonna come." he groaned. 
So lost in bliss, all you could do was nod. His pelvic bone was hitting against your clit, just the right way for you to clench around him and come undone once more. You came so hard your breath was knocked over and you felt like passing out. Jesse hissed, your cunt still pulsed around him and it sent him over the edge with a groan. His already tight grip tightened even more the moment he spilled into you, coating your walls white with his cum. After a few seconds, his moans died out and his head slumped back on the couch and looked up to the ceiling. "Shit that was..." 
"That was amazing." you both spoke at the same time and broke into a smile. 
You were still on him, he was still in you and if it weren't for his cum dripping out as his cock softened you would've stayed like that a little longer. However, afraid to make a mess, Jesse got up to grab a clean washcloth you wipe you both clean. Once you were both all wiped up, you laid down on the couch in a tangled mess of naked limbs. 
Both of you remained quiet, there was no need to say anything for the moment was perfect as it was; you on his chest, hearing the steady drum of his heart, him drawing soothing patterns on your back. Seconds after, though it was Jesse who broke the silence as a thought occured to him. 
"Whose room are we gonna sleep now?" 
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tags: @madzzz0797 @nika-sophie05
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singukieee · 7 months ago
Text
—my all time favourite bts fics (pt. 4) ᯓᡣ𐭩
consists of my personal favourite bts fics that I've read countless of times. including those from other platforms, such as Wattpad, AO3, and Patreon.
For some works that are cross-posted between tumblr and wp/ao3, I'd only link them to the latters bcs I find it easier to read and navigate the stories on those. but I also tagged all the authors I know are here and linked the rest so you can check their blogs out yourself!
I'll also separate this list into several parts simply because there's too many... So it'd be easier for you guys to navigate!
red means unfinished
blue means finished
🗯️ curator's note
(sorted by alphabetical order)
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Stay by OT7oramI
Y/N and her hybrid best friend, Jin, have known each other since Jin was eight years old and came to live with Y/N and her family. Throughout the years, Y/N and Jin have grown closer but there is one major secret between them. When an injured hybrid comes into Cherry Blossom Sanctuary where they both work, the secret is revealed. What will become of the friendship between Y/N and Jin when others are added to it?
Storms of Fate by SumiSG7
A darkly forbidden Auction in the veils of night catering to the morbid appetites of the wealthy in a world of legalized slave hybrids. Results in A melody of storm uniting the fates of a powerful Heiress with 7 mysteriously seductive & deadly hybrids The dark spiralling descent into the fever of passion & longing entwining their hungers while being targeted by an unknown enemy. What will be the result of the lethal games to Anya & the hybrids caught in a velvety prison of their own cravings for each other. But slowly, the realization trickled in… All was not normal as it should be, the love they forged, was a test of devotion that was still withstanding the time since before time began…
🗯️ too freaking good... but also really dark and sometimes sweet. I don't think I've ever read an ff as well-written as this one. plot's insane too. (this is actually a whole universe with side stories that you would be told to read along the way to understand the lore, so good it's crazy that it's free)
Sweet as Honey by sugakookie98
In a time where omegas are increasingly rare, others constantly question your resistance to find a mate. No one seemed to understand that you were content to stay in your comfort zone, focusing solely on your job. However, a series of unexpected events set your quiet world into motion, making you question your outlook on life and on mating bonds.
🗯️ another Idk what to say but it's really good
The Butterfly Effect by themonsterteddy
Easily attached hybrids get adopted into a family. Lei, the protagonist, is the quietest member of the family. Follow them to explore the lovely bond developing between them.
🗯️ a super warm read <3
The Butterseries by @minniepetals
Their names alone had every men and women turning their heads and falling at their feet. successful, prestigious, handsome, rich, and untouchable to anyone that looked their way. and you? you were just an employee who worked for them. who would’ve known you meant so much more to them than you could ever imagine?
The Byeoljali series by LittleShyGirl
❶ Finding A Place
As an isolated, lonely omega raised by humans, you have little understanding of how other wolves live. When you take a promotion to become a member of the BTS staff, your world collides with the Bangtan Pack and you realise you have a lot to learn.
❷ Making A Home
Now that she's found where she belongs, follow Y/N as she learns how to truly be a part of the Bangtan Pack.
The Companion by MoonChild791
After being fired, the job of a lifetime lands in your lap. You up root your life and moved to Seoul, only to find out you'll be working with your favorite group, BTS. Slowly, you start to develop feelings for them. But that's crazy, right? You can't have feelings for all seven of them, it would never work out.....would it?
The Contract by namjuicyy
Your life is turned upside down when a contract is pushed your way. But what happens if you sign it?
The Last Lycans by RoxNotRocks
Sometimes, a fateful encounter takes the form of a bullet through the head… After years of living as a wolf, alone in the wild, Yu has no memory of her past and no idea what her true nature is. As she attempts to begin anew and discovers that her fate doesn't have to be a lonely one, her lost secret comes back to haunt her. When your past comes back with a vengeance, should you flee, or fight?
The Line Between Love and War by @purpleyoonn
Your experiences told you that soulmates were something you would never have the pleasure of having; something not given to you because of who you are, despite the soulmark that resides on your inner left wrist. During your solo trip to Los Angeles, you find out that you are more than capable, that your soulmates had been waiting for you for a long time, and would not be letting you go anytime soon.
The Little Fox by @purpleyoonn
“The idea of being free was a foreign concept. Being free meant having choices, having opportunities. Being a hybrid meant never being free.” Just as you escaped the Little Fox, a bidding house, you find yourself at war with your thoughts, not wanting to go to another shelter. You didn’t expect yourself to find a home anywhere, especially not with the men who found you, and their pack.
The Pictures That Talk by @imnotlauriane
In a world where everyone has a special ability, mine is giving life to pictures. It allows me to see what happened behind the camera, reliving the moment when it was taken, as the subject. It's something I really cherish, but it can also come with great pain, so it's to be used carefully. I look at my finger, rings of fate black and cold. And I wonder, will I ever meet my soulmates?
The Seven by chewymilkyoda
When a young 17 year old girl and her friend went to an empty mansion that is reported as 'haunted', she never knew that her life would changed when she accidentally woke up 7 dangerous vampires that has been asleep for centuries. And boy is she in for a long-ass ride of fantasy shit that she never even knew about.
The Seven Princes by wassap_its_hunter
Being known as Nyx, you never had an easy life. With the expectations of being the world's best-renowned assassin and hunter, protector of your people, and a babysitter of five children, you can't really expect to have time in your hands to relax, the world being run by werewolves, witches, vampires, mermaids and more. But now, another role has been added. After hearing the princes of the biggest empire in the world, the Asian Kingdom, say the word "mate", you're scared for what is about to come. But then again you're Nyx, one of the very few humans that survived and became known, you could take a challenge like that.
🗯️ mc is so cool and the boys are whipped. my favourite.
The Seven Red Flags of HAKON University by tinyeyecat / emi ree
Born in the hell hole of Space Port 69, Rue’s a human Omega desperate to leave the alien whore house she calls home. Defying all odds, she masquerades as an Alpha and obtains a scholarship to the Ivy League of all space institutions. HAKON University is an all-male school that trains the cream of the crop—future leaders of the galaxies. Rue's just here to graduate, pretend to have a dick and then flee into the workforce, that is until the legendary Bangtan pack sets their eyes on her. They’re the future emperors—aliens with godlike abilities that make them rulers of their species. But with excessive power comes the price of testosterone-fuelled insanity that cannot be soothed. An esper will always need his guide. They’ve been searching for a final member to quell their raging soul-an eighth to complete their pack. Millions have tried for a taste of the peak, but none have succeeded, and thousands die from their power unable to withstand the bond. Bangtan doesn’t chase their prey, they don’t have to, but this time the seven Alphas want Rue.
🗯️ it's emi ree so it's gonna be insane!
The Siren's Song by PurpleQueenie
Modern day Seoul and myths don't go along hand in hand as easily as one might think. When for centuries (Y/N) has been bound to the Ocean, serving her duty as a siren- waiting for the day when it'll finally end, who knew stumbling across seven different souls would've been the reasons she needed to start living again, feeling again- even if it meant losing herself in the process.
🗯️ this might be my ultimate fave among queenie's stories. it's just soo good. mc who became the best version of herself after meeting the boys who support her despite the villain's constant torture. also, mc is just so full of life despite the ... it's amazing, go read it!
Through Her Eyes series by Gigi_Luv_4u
❶ Through Her Eyes
In the world of soulmates, perhaps Daun is the only one who does not expect for any soulmate to come. She doesn't have the soul marks that everyone supposed to have. Not one ink on her skin, no time marks on her wrists, no glowing red strings... but why does one day, seven gorgeous men claims to be her soulmate? And these seven are none other than the greatest boy band in the world?
❷ Through Her Eyes: Eternal
Multiples puffing out to the open has been on the news, but not as often as Daun with her seven. Now, more than ever, people have made their lives more than just a curious entertainment. Snippets of their married lives have become great treasures of inspirations that the entire world would simultaneously coo. No one can't blame them with how adorable they have cultivated their marriage to an inspiring one. Not to mention with the new additional members that surely adds more life to their already dynamic universe. Or… How does a family of Multiples go through their lives?
To Be, Or Not To Be Your Omega by Anonymous
Which would be harder? To be an Omega in an Alpha's world, or to have to play Omega to a pack of Alpha's that's known across the WHOLE world? As if disguising your gender truth isn't hard enough, how many omegas can say they have seven alphas that want to claim them? That went to the trouble of drafting up an overly generous contract just to have you as their omega? Oh, why did they have to find out your truth? Maybe it won't be so bad to be theirs, even if it's only by contract? After all, they're all so handsome, and smell so good, and— Is it wrong to have your inner omega cooing at the idea that this could become more than just your Omega status being taken advantage of like it's been all over the world?
To Be, or Not To Be Your Omega REBOOT by Anonymous
What would you do if you suddenly found yourself playing Omega to not just one, but seven world-renowned Alphas? Your struggle to conceal your true gender pales in comparison to this new challenge. These Alphas want to claim you. They've gone so far as to draft an outrageously generous contract just to have you as their Omega. But as your scent betrays your truth, you're left wondering: why did they have to find out? As you contemplate your fate, you can't help but think – maybe being theirs wouldn't be so bad, even if it's just by contract? After all, they're devastatingly handsome, their scents intoxicating, and... wait, is your inner Omega actually cooing at the idea? You've spent your life seeing Omegas taken advantage of across the world. Could this be different? Could this become more than just another power play? In this story, you'll navigate a world of primal instincts, hidden truths, and unexpected desires. Are you ready to step into the shoes of an Omega on the brink of a life-changing decisions?
Trouvaille by @spookyserenades
In a world where hybrids are both the hottest commodity and largely exploited, a recent shortage of hybrids nationwide due to the wealthy adopting for sport hunting dominates the news headlines. More than ever, stray hybrids are whisked off the streets and taken into shelters to meet the demand. Mistreated, neglected, forgotten – in a notoriously disreputable hybrid shelter in a pocket of downtown Boston, seven “aggressive” hybrids await their inevitable fate of being sold for sport.
After years of trying to distance herself from her mystical past and upbringing, Y/N finds herself quitting her emotionally-draining job and is forced to face past mistakes. While accompanying her friends looking to adopt a child hybrid into their newly-formed family, Y/N inadvertently finds herself face-to-face with seven hybrids doomed to die. In a spur of the moment epiphany, Y/N decides to change the course of fate for the better; though bringing seven aggressive hybrids into her life and the darkening spiritual energy of her old home is trickier to navigate than she originally thought.
🗯️ I really appreciate the length of every chapter. like, so much details put into each and every chapter, and each chapter it just gets better and better.
Until The Last Star Falls by Lov3Mochi / @minniepetals
It was a love you knew would never make it out alive without sacrificing a part of your happiness to receive a greater happiness. but for them, you’d go to any extreme to have them again, and for you, they will always remind you each day that you are theirs and that nothing can tear you apart, not even until the last star falls.
🗯️ so freaking good! a painful journey of love, full of longing and sacrifice.
You Never Walk Alone by @agustdakasuga
You live a quiet life in your late grandfather’s cabin in the woods. You go to school just to graduate and get your diploma, not to make friends or stand out from the crowd. That was until one day, you enter your home to see a pack of wolves that need shelter.
사람 (People) by thearmyprof
You are preparing to move across the Pacific Ocean and start a new chapter in your life, when a chance meeting with a man in a coffee shop has you questioning the timing of everything in the universe. When you hit it off on your first date, little do you know that the man you’ve already fallen head over heels for is, in fact, a member of BTS.
🗯️ this story doesn't include any insane themes, but so enjoyable and heartwarming. the characters also feel human, well-written.
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PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | NAVI
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yooglefics · 8 months ago
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Reveal — Part three: celebrating
Pairing: Yoongi x fem!reader ( camboy!yoongi x camgirl!reader )  Wordcount: 4,513 words Genre: 18+ / smut. mdni! remember to not use fics as your only source of sex ed.  Summary: Your birthday celebration takes a turn when Jungkook forgets to uninvite a particular guest. Part 3 of Recording & Editing. Read it in that order for context. More warnings under read more.
Includes: 3k words of just smut. Mentions of posting / selling sex content. Dirty talk. Use of pet names ( baby, doll, good girl? ). Fingering ( f ), Oral sex ( f and m ). Frottage. Cum play? A bit of overstimulation? Possessive Yoongi because Reveal!Yoongi is just like that and I can't do anything about it. It's true, I tried.  Author's note: Okay, I think this is actually the last one for this. A trilogy is fine, right? But also don't quote me on that because clearly I can't seem to know how to stop writing this pair and I'm watching Jungkook from a distance like 👀 but shhh Which speaking of, I was thinking and if you want to know more about the characters in this verse specifically, you can send an ask with “( reveal!verse )” at the beginning, maybe specify if you want it to be answered ic with “( @ reveal!theirname )” , and a question or whatever you want to say. Idk, thought it could be fun~ Also, I made a post with different options for tag lists in case anyone is interested. You know, for future projects and stuff. But don't feel preassure to request it, and thank you for following this mini series. Anyway. I hope you like this and if you do please remember to comment, reblog, ask, follow, and whatnot. And again, thank you for reading <3
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“You know, you could reply instead of just staring at it,” Jungkook says, over your shoulder.
You're sitting in your living room, phone in your hand with the audio post on screen. There was no way of denying you were caught, you had already embarrassed yourself by acting like a schoolgirl when telling him about SugaD leaving a comment.
“But what if I say something dumb and he deletes it?”
“Why would he do that? He thinks you're cute,” he teases.
“The cutest,” you correct, silly smile on your face once again. 
“See. You should shoot your shot and talk to him, he clearly is interested in you too,” he winks, finally walking around the couch to sit at your side, fresh bowl of popcorn on his lap.
“But it's all so crazy. I don't even know how he found my page, he only follows big creators.”
“Well, he asked me.”
“What?”
“He asked who you were,” his Bambi eyes blink at you, fear creeping on his soft expression, “I… don't kill me, please.” He moves away from you and that makes you turn to him, leg over the couch and phone forgotten.
“Jungkook? What did you do?” All the scenarios go through your mind, imagining the worst. He told him you kind of have a big old crush on him even if you have never seen his face? Did he tell him about the joke of suing him because he is so—
“And I was busy so I thought, you know, he works with music and edits his own content and it seemed like a good idea,” he is talking so fast and you realize you missed the beginning of it, but before you can ask him to start over he just burst it, “so he edited it.”
“He what?”
“The audio. Your audio. He edited it.”
“My… audio.” The audio you're sure included the start of his video.
Fuck.
Shit.
That's so much worse.
You should delete your account. Delete yourself. You want to move to another country and change your name. 
“Fuck.”
“I'm sorry. I should have asked you, but I figured…” he trails off, coming closer again. “I just… I didn't think it was a big deal because… well, I didn't know he was gonna subscribe to you. He only subscribes to people he is friends with and I know he doesn't even watch their stuff.”
You can tell he is trying to make you feel better, and although you appreciate the effort, everything is confusing. Does that mean he wants to be friends? But he doesn't watch his friends's content so… no friends?
“Fuck.” You murmur again.
“Are you mad at me?” Jungkook asks softly, worrying the ring on his bottom lip. 
“I… don't know.”
“Do you want me to go?”
“No. Let's finish the movie.”
But you can concentrate for the rest of it, and know that you'd have to watch it again another time in case your friend brings up something important about the plot. But now, the only thing in your head is theories about what you're going to do about that one particular comment and, again, you consider just deleting the whole thing.
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Jungkook invites you the next weekend to the restaurant, it's his free day but he tells you he can get you the birthday special even if it’s one day early and he can even sing for you. You tell him you are only going if he doesn't make a whole thing out of it. You'd wear the birthday hat and blow out the candles, but if he dares to bring more attention to you, you actually will kill him.
He believes you. 
And so, here you are. Sitting in a booth in front of Jungkook and Hanna, your best friend. Big chocolate cake in front of you that they insisted on getting because “you can have it for dessert for the next week and think about how much we love you”, and also because you love chocolate.
“Sorry. Am I late?” A voice behind you interrupts the end of the birthday song, your smile falling because you could recognize it anywhere, and the fact that he is here makes you panic.
“Oh, shit… ah…” Jungkook stumbles over his words, even comes close to knocking his drink. “Sorry. Hi.” He greets the guy and throws an apologetic look your way. “This is my friend Yoongi.”
“Oh, hi. I'm Hanna and didn't know we were waiting for someone, but good thing we got a big cake, uh?” she jokes and looks at you. She does that whenever you're around people and you don't talk, her way of making you feel included. 
But right now you want to disappear. Birthday crown and all. Maybe take the cake too.
“Hi,” you say timidly, eyes on Jungkook instead.
“I…” he starts, remorseful look on his face as he explains, “invited Yoongi last week, didn't want to third wheel with you two.”
“Oh, that's fun! Well, you want to sit there or should I move?” Hanna proposes and you're about to say she should come to your side even if that means Jungkook has to stand up too, but Sug— Yoongi speaks faster.
“I’ll sit here. Is that okay?” 
You only nod, scooting to your right to make space for him. To not be so close he notices how nervous he makes you just with his presence.
He smells nice. Fresh and woody at the same time, and is only overwhelming because is him. Because a lot of things about him are a mystery still and you are about to unlock them all right now.
“Those are cute,” Hanna says.
“Ah, yes. I… these are for you,” a bouquet is presented on your line of vision. Is not big nor too much, the perfect size to be a nice present and it lets you admire the flowers’ beauty. “Happy birthday.”
“You didn't have to.”
“You don't like it?” If you weren't so focused on your own nerves you'd have noticed the ones on his voice.
“I do.” You quickly say. It's cute. The lavender mixed with two types of white flowers you don't recognize but you love the look of, mostly the one that looks like little stars. “Is really pretty. Thank you.”
“I'll bring you a drink,” Jungkook says, and looking at him you know he needs one himself. You could actually kill him after this.
“Wait, where is the restroom?” Asks Hanna and your eyes lift from your present so fast your neck almost hurts, but she is quickly disappearing in the direction Jungkook points her to.
And that's what you get for keeping everything a secret from your best friend. Karma as its finest.
“Pff,” you breathe, sinking into your seat. 
“I can go if you want me to,” Yoongi says softly at your side.
“What? No, no is—” you try to explain is not him. Nothing is wrong actually. Everything is perfect and you're totally not freaking out.
“You haven't looked my way,” does he sounds hurt? “Is alright. I don't want to make you uncomfortable or anything, I just thought… I don't know. JK invited me weeks ago and then I found out who you were,” you cringe at that, knowing he most likely means when he listened to your audio. “I figured I'd take the chance and meet you.”
“Why? I mean. Don't you feel uncomfortable because of the…” finishing your sentence feels unnecessary and saying it at loud is embarrassing.
“The fact that you watch my videos?”
“I swear I only watched like three and I don't do that with all of them is just— Are you laughing?” Finally you turn to him, a smirk playing on his lips.
“Sorry, sorry. But is that supposed to make me feel better?” 
You don't answer. 
“Of course I don't mind.” He leans in, "If you sound that cute, I'll let you watch all of them for free.”
Breath caughts on your throat, looking at him with big round eyes. His face is right there and you try to take it all in. Clean shaved, jawline not too harsh and with soft features, crested moon shaped brown eyes, pink lips, and the way they curve up when he catches you staring at them.
“I don't want to go, but if you want me to, I'll do it.” he backs out, and somehow you can tell he is genuine.
“Stay.”
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After dinner and some chatting, Jungkook offers to drive Hanna home and Yoongi takes you to his place. It’s fancy, looks like taken out of a magazine and you tell him exactly that. He asks you if you want to judge his room too and with a laugh you tell him yes, because honestly, you're curious now.
You tell him it doesn't look too cozy and suggest investing in a nice blanket, he raises an eyebrow at you and finally you confess you're an interior designer by day. He tells you he is a music producer. And then you talk about how and why each of you decided to join OF and what kind of things you have discovered you like during that journey.
“Interesting,” he says when you confess you started following him because of a hand picture you saw somewhere else. He has been playing with your fingers while you lay on his bed, is relaxing and you don’t mind at all. “You said you were going to sue me, should I even be this close?” 
“Oh my—” you pull away, covering your face. And he laughs. “Go away.”
“No, c'mon. It's cute.” He tries to turn your body to its side, but you don't give in. “Look at me, please.”
“No. I can't.”
“Why?”
“Because no.”
He laughs again, hand on your hip, “Baby, please?” Head shake is your answer, “I'm sorry. Should I confess something too?” 
“Yes.”
“Let's see,” he props himself on his elbow, looking at you even if you are still covered. “I knew about you before the audio.”
“You did?”
“Well, Jungkook talks about you all the time and I was curious. I think it was the third time you guys collabed that I saw a picture and he mentioned your name on his page.”
“Which picture?” You ask, uncovering half your face to look at him, he smiles.
“The one with the books. You were holding one in front of you.”
You remember that. Like all your pictures with Jungkook, it was suggestive more than anything and in that one the pose made it look like you were touching yourself.
“And now I know what you sound like doing that,” he teases, “wonder if I'd be lucky enough to see it someday.”
“You've to stay subscribed and see,” is your turn to have fun.
“Should I make another instruction video for you?” or maybe not. And before you cover yourself again, he holds your wrist, bracelet digging a little on your skin but not enough to actually hurt. “Don't. Let me see you.”
“Yoongi…”
“Fuck. Don't say my name like that,” is only half joking, but he knows you can tell he wants you just as much. “Can I kiss you?” 
You nod and his lips touch yours in a millisecond. They are soft, but his movements are quick, and soon his tongue is asking for permission to enter your mouth. With a moan, you granted happily and hungry to taste him. 
His hand goes back to your waist, only resting before squishing it gently. Your own hand traveling to his nape and bringing him closer, your chests touching.
In need of air you break the kiss, and instead of stopping, his mouth keeps working down your jaw and neck, “ohh…” you try to breathe, throwing your head back just enough to give him space. It feels so good you don't want to stop.
And he doesn't. He continues until he reaches the fabric of your dress, covering your chest. He imagines your little gold collar he saw in some pictures. He thinks about buying you one on silver to match his own jewelry or buying a chain for himself the color of yours. Anything would do, he just wants you to be his and for people to know.
“W-wait,” your voice brings him back, and he stops immediately, “don't leave marks. At least not visible.”
“Okay, I can get creative.” A wink seals his promise and his hand moves to the buttons in the front of your dress, his lips following soon behind to attach themselves to the exposed skin. To your breast. He licks and kisses and when he reaches your nipple he flicks his tongue a few times. 
That gets a good reaction from you, but he still asks “You like that?” because it does good to his ego and the mid-erection on his pants.
You nod between whimpers and can feel his laugh through his chest resting on your stomach, “is that enough?” You look at him, the lust on his eyes and his stupid smirk on his lips when he frees your abused skin from his mouth, leaving a bruise on your breast. “Is my tongue enough to make you cum, doll?” 
And your pussy answers for herself. Legs impossibly close in search of some friction and, of course, Yoongi noticed.
“You need something?”
“P-please…”
“Tell me. I'll give you anything, baby.” His voice is raspy like on the videos you watch alone at night. Except is not through a screen and is actually directed to you. Is everything you wanted while touching yourself and for a second you wonder if it's really happening.
Running your hand through his hair you look at him, now lower on the bed and playing with the bottom of your dress while he waits for a sign between your folded legs, cheek against your thigh, letting you catch your breath. 
“Yoongi?” 
“Hmm?” his hand stops on your leg, heavy and warm.
“Touch me, please.”
And you don't have to tell him twice. His hands roam your body, while he leaves kisses here and there. Too desperate to finish unbuttoning it, the bottom of your dress gets pooled at your waist, revealing the lilac lingerie he saw a picture of the other day. 
“So pretty,” he whispers, fingertips traising the embroidered details. It makes you shiver. “Fuck, I can see how wet you are.” His movements travel south to the patch over your entrance, and you respond just as he expects, moaning.
And before you can get used to that, his tongue is on you, flat over the wet and thin fabric. “Can't wait to taste you properly,” sounds a lot like a promise.
Biting your lip, you contemplate asking him to hurry, to give you anything. To get rid of all of your clothes yourself.
But he knows exactly how to drive you crazy. 
Moving your panties to the side with the help of his left hand, the fingers on his right one make an appearance again. Collecting your wetness and using it to rub over your pussy, only applying little pressure at first. Moans echo throughout his room once again, louder and this time in the company of a couple groans from him when he finally pushes in. 
“O-oh… oh my,”
“That's it. Let me hear your pretty sounds,” he encourages, letting you get used to the sensation before adding another one, his eyes on you the whole time. In the way you lick your lips before moaning, the way your hips move towards his hand asking to be fucked, the way your pussy wraps around his fingers. 
“...more.” Is barely a whisper but he hears it, smiling at you.
“Want more? Is not enough?”
“Need you, please” 
And how can he say no to you when you look at him that way. Like he is the only one that can give you what you need, how you want. 
His head disappears between your legs, mouth watering at the thought. He can't even deny he was waiting for you to ask him to eat you out, he would do it in a second, whenever you want, because “oh, god, you taste so sweet.” 
Feeling your legs closing he holds them back, pushing them against your torso with his free hand and squishing your soft skin just as tight as you are doing to his fingers. Thinking about how much force he would need to apply to leave a mark.
“F-fu… fuck. It, it feels so good, please.”
He is proud, lips curving lightly but without wanting to pull away to smile properly. His tongue laps at your entrance alongside his fingers, moving faster and faster, against that spot that makes your body tremble and makes the knot at the bottom of your abdomen want to scream.
“Please, please, please…” 
And he knows what that means. Knows you're close and just need a little push, and he gives it to you in the form of a “Cum for me, baby.”
And you do. Head back and pussy tight around him, legs closing and hand pushing him away when his tongue keeps working, overstimulating and catching all that you give him.
“Oh… my…” you breath. Legs still shaking but feet finally on the mattress again. 
He is standing at the end of his bed, one hand pushing his long hair back and the other unbuckling his belt, eyes on you while he takes you in. “Was that good?” He asks, you nod and he smiles matching yours. “Great. You deserve it.” 
“You want some help with that?” 
“What do you want?” Yoongi throws back, “You’re the birthday girl, after all.”
Worrying your bottom lip between your teeth, thoughts filled with ideas of the things you had wished to be able to do before, you watch him get rid of his jeans and boxers, his dick on full view for you. Only you. “Can I suck you off?”
Obviously, he can't say no, so he nods and you are quick to stand up, legs still feeling a bit weak after your orgasm, but it isn't a problem because as quick as your dress falls completely to the floor, you're kneeling in front of him, between his legs and hands on his tights.
You watch him stroke himself a couple times through gritted teeth, his other hand coming to cup your cheek as you get closer to his length. Saying you had been waiting for this wouldn't be an exaggeration, and without breaking eye contact you stick your tongue out, touching the blush tip slowly. 
He sighed, as if he was, too, relieved at the contact. “So pretty.” 
You push his hand away, taking his hardened length into your hand, only realizing then how big he actually is.
Tapping his dick on your tongue gets you a groan from him and you hum as you wrap your lips around the head, circling your tongue around it inside your mouth before letting go. He smiles at you, his chest moving fast as his breathing increases and his eyes are filled with lust. Your hand moves up and down when your mouth is not working, still wanting him to feel good.
Preparing yourself, you get closer again, taking more in and closing your eyes, adjusting to the girth. 
“Fuck,” he moans, thumb softly stroking your face as his hand moves to the back of your neck when you imitate the previous movements of your hand, going up and down, taking more and more into your mouth. “Y-yeah, just like that.”
The encouragement helps the feeling on your lower abdomen to build in again, pussy squeezing around nothing and moaning around his dick, making Yoongi clench his jaw, bucking his hip up, and letting his grip go only at the last second. He wants to fuck your mouth so bad. Only watching your lips around him is driving him crazy and you feel oh, so warm. 
“So pretty, doll,” he compliments as you try to keep your eyes on him as much as possible, only closing them when he hits the back of your throat. 
You come up, catching your breath as you let your hand do some more work. Collecting your spit and rubbing your thumb on his sensitive tip. He reacts just as you expect, groans and head tilted back slightly, with his hands on either side gripping the black sheets. And that gives you an idea. 
“Can you…” eyes are on you immediately, but you wish they weren't because that makes you shy and is even more difficult to ask.
“Tell me, baby.” He pleads, “I'll give you anything, just ask.”
But is easier to show than tell, and your fingers grab around one of his wrists, positioning his hand on the back of your head. “Just… hold it.” 
“Fuck.” He has to inhale quickly before nodding, are you reading his mind? “tap my thigh if it gets too much, okay?”
A nod of your own, licking your lips before taking his dick in your mouth once again, the simple weight of his hand being enough to encourage you to take more in and staying there a bit longer before bobbing your head.
Yoongi alternates between letting you follow your own peace and holding you down for a few more seconds every once in a while, finally letting himself slam his hips more harshly against your mouth and the back of your throat. His moans fill the air as he pushes into you. “feels amazing… you take my cock so well.” You hum, making his hips fuck into you at the vibration, increasing the tension on his lower abdomen. “Such a good girl.”
“I could fuck your pretty mouth all night,” he goes on, looking down at you and all the mess you've created between his legs. “Oh f-fuck. What a beautiful sight.” opening your eyes makes the view even better, and he holds your head down, making you gag around his dick, “ah… ah…” he lets go, not wanting to come just yet.
And it might be the first time you see him and his beautiful dick in person, but SugaD’s last video is fresh on your mind, —how could it not after the anxiety of him finding out— so you remember he likes to hold back. And is hot. But he is right, is your birthday celebration and you don't want to play by his rules.
“Are you close?” the hoarseness in your voice is surprising for a second, but you don't have time to think about how it's most likely going to hurt tomorrow because he is fixing your hair behind your ears with a devious smile on his beautiful face.
“Want me to come in your pretty mouth?”
“No.” He raises an eyebrow at the quickness of your answer. “I have an idea.”
Standing up, your knees thank you, only realizing then you'll also have to deal with that later, being so in your head while giving head, the weight of having him in your mouth a priority, that you didn't even care until then. 
You're back laying on his bed, pulling Yoongi to be in front of you, between your legs. “Is going to be embarrassingly fast if you ask me to fuck you right now.”
And for a second you consider it. Because he is not saying no and because he looks so good like this, hands reaching down to hold your waist and bring you closer to him down the bed. But you shake your head no. “You ruined my plans today,” feeling the need to justify your pervy desires you explain, “I was supposed to take pics today for my birthday post, so now you have to help.”
“You want me to take pictures of you?” also not saying no, just clarifying, and you can see in the lust of his gaze he likes the idea.
“I want you to do something first,” shyness invades again but looking down at his hardened length is enough to deliver the message, “and then take a picture. If you want.”
Yoongi is close to you again, bending down to kiss you with a “fuck yes, I want to.” His dick is resting over your pelvis, and you can't help the involuntary thrust your own body does. It feels heavy, and warm, and just so perfect. And when he thrust his hips, frotting against yours, you can't take it.
“Y-yoongi,” and he does it again and again, and soon you're cumming by just the feeling and the thought of how would it be to be actually fucked by him, how much would he reach inside you, making you feel so full and “Ohhh… oh”
He holds you and kisses down your neck as you come down your high a second time, before kneeling once more at the end of the bed. “You look so fucking precious, baby,” he notes, hand wrapping around his dick once more.
“You look great too,” you offer, biting your lip before letting honesty take over shyness, “I finally get to see you.”
“You been thinking about it?” He knows exactly what you mean. The reason he cuts it off his videos isn't just for privacy, is to give people something to wish for, to yearn.
You nod.
“Baby wants to see me cum?” Another nod, lost for words, but he is not having it. “Tell me.”
“Yoongi…”
“C'mon, baby. Tell me,” he taps his dick over your clothed pussy. Once, twice. Making your body jump at each touch. He teases the tip over your over-sensitive area and then taps again. Honestly, is hard to tell if he is teasing you or himself, but either works.
“I-I want to see you, please.”
His wrist moves in a faster rhythm, his other hand resting on your leg because he just needs to touch you. “Yeah? I'm going to cum,” he pants, “and you're going to show people how gorgeous you look covered on it.” 
You really don't know how much he loves the idea of that, how much he wants to show the world you let him ruin you, how you whisper “please, please,” as he finishes, head thrown back and your name escaping his lips on a moan, shooting white over your naked stomach.
But you can imagine, his victory smile gives him away. And the way he keeps complimenting you all the while grabbing his phone and snapping picture after picture just confirms it.
But you can judge Yoongi too harshly, it does something to you as well. It helps your confidence and a proud smile matches his as he tells you people are going to hate him if you really post this on your page. And that newfound confidence tells you is going to be the first time you click upload without second-guessing yourself.
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[     afterhours(y/n):     Thank you for the birthday wishes!     I indeed got a nice present, don't you think?            [ picture ]                                                                          ]
[    SugaD:     Unbelievable 😻     Can we do something for my birthday too?                                                                                                                   ]
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♡ Tag list: @m00njinnie , @sexytholland , @seoullove96 , @thelilbutifulthings , @disneyprincessshuri , @yoongibaybee ,
Thank you so much guys for your interest and support on this little series, I appreciate you 🥺💙
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➪ Part one. | ➪ Part two | ➪ Updates for this verse | ➪ Ko-fi
➪ Main masterlist. | ➪ Updates in general | ➪ Request & chats ♡
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thebiggerbear · 1 month ago
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i think i've seen this film before
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Summary: When three certain little words escape him, you know them for what they are: a plea not to leave him alone with only his thoughts and whiskey for company. You've seen this song and dance before.
Warnngs: heavy angst, cheating/infidelity, light smut, dagger analogy (Idk if this is a thing but putting it here in case)
Word Count: 2202
Response to prompt from @me-writes-prompts
A/N: Yes, I'm still on writing hiatus but this came pouring out of me today from where I have no idea. Must be the holiday. I feel like this happened last year, too, with Something Real which was also a bucket of angst and heartbreak. So it definitely has to be the holiday then. All completely unbeta'd (and probably very messy quite truthfully, I'll have to come back and try to clean it up later tonight, there may be some switching around of tenses, sorry!). As an aside, I don't condone any form of cheating but this just came out as is and I was so relieved to be writing something, that I just kind of went with it. I was going to keep it as a blank character x reader but in the end, the muse overruled me and let a name slip of who it was imagined to be. She's a sneaky bitch who can't be trusted to keep anything resembling a secret, I swear.
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“I love you.”
Those three little words, barely said in a whisper, make you freeze. After your heart starts beating again, after your brain has processed that yes, he really just said that, you continue slipping your shirt over your head. 
Once you pull your hair free from your neckline, you turn to where you left him moments earlier, sprawled out on his back on the bed, an arm behind his head with the mist of sweat drying on his skin, his hair a crime scene of damp wayward strands with your fingers having been the perpetrator. You find him watching you intently with those eyes that you swear can see down to the deepest parts of you zeroed in on your face, a faint trace of hope lining the irises you’ve so often found yourself lost in these past few months. You momentarily clench your jaw as you steel yourself to say what you need to. “You shouldn’t say that to me.”
Where you expected to see heartbreak or some vestiges of pain, you only saw determination, suddenly renewed. You then realize your mistake. You hadn’t said the one word he expected to hear, the one he needed to hear: No. So it doesn’t surprise you when you see the hope in his gaze flare brighter, perhaps believing he’s not alone in this after all. 
You watch as he moves aside the thin sheet covering the last traces of his modesty, fully revealing himself to you as he swings his legs over the side of the bed and stands. The irony of the action is not lost on you; he’s making himself vulnerable before you, letting you see every inch of him, even what’s beyond skin deep.
He is suddenly before you, this large man whose hulking stature had completely dwarfed you minutes ago as he had pushed your thighs back and pistoned in and out of you, groans escaping him as droplets of his sweat christened your bare skin repeatedly. And yet, despite the size of him, here he is, exposing himself in such a way that you feel like the tall one, even as you crane your neck to meet his intent gaze head on.
The tips of his fingers gently urge your chin up a little higher so he can see all of you, both of you laid bare to one another as his eyes swallow you whole. “Yes, I should,” he murmurs. “I love you.” You know what’s about to happen, especially as his eyelids lower slightly and he begins to dip his head. The insatiable monster inside you craves his lips on yours, his tongue tangling with yours in a tango that mimics the one your bodies just did, craves him, but you force yourself to pull away.
Ignoring the hurt lining his expression, you turn to look for your shoes that had been kicked off as you both stumbled into the room, glued to one another and tearing at each other’s clothes in your desperate need to have your skin meeting his. Once you spot them, you take a step in that direction when his hand on your elbow stops you.
“Baby,” he pleads. 
“Don’t,” you whisper, refusing to look at him like he’s begging you to.
When you attempt to move again, his hand releases you only for his arm to snake around your waist and prevent you from leaving. You’re not surprised when he pulls you closer and you can feel the scratchiness of his unshaven face against your neck as he burrows into you.
“I love you, Y/N,” he rasps into your ear. He’s begging again, though this time you know it’s more for you not to leave more than his insistence on your belief in his feelings for you. He doesn’t want you to leave him here, alone with only his thoughts to keep him company along with some top shelf whiskey the hotel staff stocks exclusively for him in the mini bar. 
It used to work, this heartfelt plea whispered against your skin, nuzzled against your cheek, pressed against your lips, until you gave in and let him lay you back down on the bed, giving yourself over to him completely for however long he wanted you. Now, though, you’ve grown stronger, smarter, and that’s why it’s easier than ever to push away from him and look him dead in the eye. “Then get a divorce.”
You see the expected pain magnify throughout his handsome face and you take the opportunity of his reaction to your response to finally move away and grab your shoes, slipping them on as quickly as possible. 
He quietly clears his throat before the familiar deep voice that has murmured the dirtiest and sweetest things you’ve ever heard into your ear tears through the quiet paper-thin hush of the room that usually exists once your frenzied lovemaking ceases. “Y/N, we’ve talked about this. You know I can’t—”
“Not my problem,” snaps out of you. You don’t even bother to roll your eyes anymore at the age-old response he gives you every time you dose both of you with reality like this. Except it is your problem, very much your problem. Hell, it became your problem the moment you allowed him into your apartment that one snowy night, fully knowing you were about to change your life forever and not necessarily for the better. When you finally found out how easily your scratches could be seen on his skin, how divine his lips tasted especially after they had drunk deeply from yours and your body still ricocheted with aftershocks from your orgasm, and how taut his back muscles became with every slow and hard thrust into you. When you found out how intoxicating the sounds of his groans in your ear were as he took pleasure in what your body offered his, how dry your mouth was afterwards from all of the loud panting you did as his mouth ghosted over yours while he repeatedly hit that one spot deep within you, and how tightly he held onto you once he came, unwilling to let you go until he had absolutely had to.
You tamp down the desire you feel unfurling underneath your skin at the memories of that night and grab your jacket and handbag from where you’d tossed them. You refuse to think any further about that night, about how he had begged you to let him in, his chest heaving and snowflakes rapidly melting in his short hair, his eyes darker than you’d ever seen them and glancing repeatedly at your lips. You absolutely don’t think about the way his mouth desperately claimed yours the moment you opened the door wider and he was on you, kicking the door shut behind him. Or about how only minutes later he had you backed up against the wall, your jeans and panties tossed away somewhere, and him on his knees with his head buried between your legs, making you grip his hair as you bit your lip so hard it bled. Or even about how you had clawed at the wall he had turned you to face as he pounded away at you, his hand turning your head so he could sloppily kiss you, grunting loudly into your ear with every thrust as the rough fabric of his coat sleeve rubbed against your neck. Or how the buckle of his open belt rattled with his movements, only to be rivaled by your own cries, both being surpassed by his loud drawn out roar of “Fuck!” as he buried himself to the hilt within you and burrowed his face into your neck. His hot and harsh breaths dampened your skin while you reached a hand up to run soothingly through his wet hair, struggling to regain the ability to breathe yourself. No, you weren't going to think about how he then moved you to your bedroom from where neither of you emerged until hours later in search of sustenance and electrolytes.
Instead of allowing yourself to get lost in the thoughts of that night, you take a small breath and start heading for the door.
“I love you, dammit.” He’s angry now, just as you knew he would be the closer you got to leaving, leaving him. “Doesn’t that count for anything?”
You stop and you hear him take a step closer. You don’t have to turn to look at him to know there is a cautious renewal of hope lighting his eyes. You had stopped after all. But you both have done this dance before and each time it ends the same way. 
“No, you don’t,” you answer him quietly, almost gently. Your aim is not to hurt him, never to hurt him. He’s been hurt enough and you will be damned if will be like her and add to his pain. But at the same time, you can’t lie nor will you continue to swallow any of his. So, like always, you spare him but not yourself. “You think you do, but you don’t. You don’t love me.”
“Yes, I do.” He’s closer now, his voice is cracking slightly…he’s a few moments away from coiling his arms around you like a snake and keeping you from walking out the door, again. 
And so you make it quick, you plunge the dagger of truth into your own chest and let the pain bloom within you, spreading quickly through your veins like wildfire. “You don’t because if you did, you wouldn’t keep me in a holding pattern like this.” You then force yourself to turn and face him, your eyes hard as diamonds and your face one of stone. “I’m purely a convenient fuck for you when you get lonely, or someone to call when it all becomes too much. This isn’t even an affair. I’m nothing more than a painkiller that comes with an orgasm or two. That’s it and you know it. So, no, you don’t love me, because if you did, you would never use me like this.”
As expected, his eyes widen and his jaw drops. You can see the protests building in his throat but you cut him off.
“And if I loved you, I wouldn’t let you continue to use me like this.” 
He stands there, staring at you, a small sadness growing in his deep gaze. This always happens. As much as you try to spare him and not bleed out your pain all over him, some tiny amount almost always splashes onto him. You can’t help that. One of you has to be the strong one and keep it real; it just happens to always be you.
So you don’t allow his crestfallen expression to get to you and you lift your chin slightly, rolling your shoulders back as you straighten your spine. “I’ll see you when I see you.” 
You spin on your heel and stride towards the door. When your fingers grab onto the door handle, you hear a broken plea of “Don’t leave…please.” You clench your jaw and force yourself to open the door, refusing to look back.
“Goodbye, Jensen.”
You walk across the threshold and pull the door closed behind you. You make your way to the elevators, unsurprised that he doesn’t quickly dress and run after you. He never has before; why would that change now? When the elevator dings and thankfully the car is empty, you step into it and hit the “close door” button. You wait and as expected, no calls of “Wait!” or chimes of your phone sound as the doors take their sweet time closing despite their directive. Once they’re shut, once there is no possibility of him seeing you or hearing you, you sink against the wall of the car and grasp at your chest, your breath loudly catching as the full weight of the pain you had denied yourself begins to flow through you anew. Tears mark your cheeks and you let out a sound akin to a strangled sob. 
Yes, you do love him and that is why you continue to let him use you in this way. That is why you opened the door that night and let him in, fully knowing what was going to happen. That is why you allowed him to take your friendship and mangle it into whatever dark and hopeless form it takes now. You fucking love him; of course you do.  In the same breath, though, you know he doesn’t love you and this last bit of pain is what finishes you as the elevator continues to descend: and he never will. You turn your body to face the corner and hold a hand over your mouth, beginning to cry outright. He will never love you the way you love him. No matter how many times you run to him when he calls, no matter how you let him take pleasure in you or comfort in your arms, no matter how many times you’ve begged him to end things with her and be with you instead…he will never love you. You loudly sob as the sharp tip of that truth dagger from before lodges itself into your heart, almost neatly fitting into the groove from all of the previous times. Your heartbreak is the only sound that echoes throughout the small space along with the glaring silence of your phone. And just like that, once again, the dance comes to its predictable end.
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A/N: So yeah, sorry about that. As always, no disrespect is ever meant to Jensen, Danneel, or their family. I'm not suggesting or implying anything about either Jensen or Danneel, I just had him in my head while writing. Purely fictional.
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dividers by @firefly-graphics
Jensen RPF: @ladykitana90; @lemonfreak97; @lacilou; @waynes-multiverse
Forever Taglist: @avada-kedavra-bitch-187; @rieleatiel; @hobby27; @impala67rollingthroughtown; @ladysparkles78
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missmonsters2 · 1 year ago
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Mirror, Mirror | Six: Epilogue
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Please do not copy, repost, or translate my work anywhere else.
PART FIVE
Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Fem!Reader
Summary: You never really thought about Wanda other than the fact that she's your best friend. Nothing more, nothing less. It just wasn't in the realm of possibilites, so you never let yourself develop feelings. At least until someone points out that you have a very specific type when it comes to dating, so maybe it is all subconscious? Reader's POV
Warnings: best friends to lovers. shenanigans. jealousy, jealousy. sexual tension. pining. yearning. sexual thoughts. spicy (tumblr's version). stupid steve. neurotic nat. brat & stinky. bug as in shutterbug.
*explicit version will only be available on Ao3 & will be posted there after series is completed*
Note: Mini Series is completed! Thank you so much for tagging along with me <3 Explicit version available in a week.
Reminder there's no taglist but you can follow my library blog for notifications 💘
Series Masterlist || Library Blog || AO3
Count: ~3.1k
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You rarely think about sentences that could change your life.
There are too many instances that could change your life; therefore, it would be moot to think about.
You have a terminal illness. 
You've won 69 million dollars.
Someone you love has horrifically died—no, there were no remains.
It's all too overwhelming to think about; therefore, you don't. Yet, somehow, if you ever did think about life-changing sentences, you didn't think it could ever be, "Hey, have you noticed how you seem to exclusively date girls who look like Wanda?"
And it was like the ground crumbled underneath you. It was such a sickening realization—not that Wanda was in any way sickening—it was the fact that you might just be subconsciously a pervert. 
The more you thought about the words, the more horrifying it became. Every one-night stand, every situationship, every girlfriend—god, they all looked like Wanda. 
You're too scared to think about it deeper in fear of what it would reveal subconsciously every time you kissed or fucked a girl. Were you thinking of Wanda? God, you just couldn't think about it.
This was all Bucky's fault. You wished you had never gone out onto that balcony that night. 
3 months prior to that night at the bar with Wanda & Steve
The cool air felt better, and the breeze settled on the back of your neck. There was definitely too much wine going around, and you only managed to escape as Tony brought out the hard liquor. 
The crowd dispersed after several shots you didn't partake in. You stared into the distance, thinking idly how Tony had way too much money. Old money was ridiculous. Why does someone need a garden fountain as big as a pool?
Movement caught the corner of your eye, and you saw Wanda and Vision walking through the dimly lit garden. You smiled fondly at your best friend as she laughed at whatever charming thing Vision had managed to say. 
Vision was...just okay, in your opinion. You thought he was too nonchalant about Wanda, and that was why they were so on and off rather than consistently being together. Wanda deserved someone who loved her fiercely, and you couldn't imagine Vision always putting Wanda first. 
You watched with slight melancholy when Wanda linked her arms through his as they sat on the ledge of the garden fountain. You wished you had also brought someone along for this party. 
"Hey, thought I saw you sneak out here."
You turned around and saw Bucky holding a glass of beer. You smirked at him with mirth. "You know what I must do when Tony starts bringing out the grey goose."
Bucky shuddered, clearly having been roped into a few shots. He came and stood next to you, catching the scene you were staring at. "Guess they're back on then?"
You shrugged. "Guess so. We'll see how long it lasts. I'm betting 3 months."
"Be realistic. It'll be 2 and a half months," Bucky snorted. 
"Ye of little faith," you teased and then sighed. "I wish I also brought someone along. I should've brought that girl I met at my photoshoot."
"The brunette with green eyes?" Bucky asked, and you nod. "You know what I've noticed?"
"Hm?" you hummed in response to Bucky's casual tone. 
"You seem to have a very specific type when it comes to dating," Bucky mused. "They're always brunette—save those two girls from university—and they always have green eyes." 
You furrow your brows in serious thought. "I suppose so."
"Yeah," Bucky nodded, his tone still casual. "They always remind me of Wanda, especially from the back. I always have to make sure I'm careful not to mix up your date with Wanda." 
Bucky ended it with a chuckle, stating he was getting cold before he left without another world, leaving you alone outside.
The connect dots snapped into place almost instantly, horrifying you as you continued to stare at Wanda from above. 
Oh, fuck. 
Maybe it was a good thing you didn't bring anyone tonight. You're not sure how you'd be able to take someone home into your bed with the daunting realization you go after girls who look like your best friend...because you actually want your best friend. 
The three months since that discovery had nearly driven you to insanity. Since you refused to talk to anyone about it, most of your thought process was, " Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no."
But in the end, you resolved that it couldn't happen. Wanda would never reciprocate your feelings in a million years, especially since she had Vision. Wanda occasionally even talked about the possibility of marrying him down the road. 
It wasn't happening. It was never going to happen. 
Wanda was more important to you than anyone in the whole entire world. You would never allow anything to risk the friendship—even your feelings. 
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You felt like a sick sexual deviant. 
Despite your resolve to bury your feelings and continue on as normal, it was getting increasingly weird to continue to see girls who looked like Wanda. Yet, you couldn't stop. It wasn't doing it for you otherwise. 
But now, every time you kissed a girl, all you could see was Wanda in her. Sex was beginning to become a guilty pleasure for all the wrong reasons. 
When you met Raye, it felt like another sinful thing to lust after, knowing how much she physically reminded you of Wanda. But you could see a big personality difference in the short time you spent chatting with Raye. 
Wanda was the type you spoiled, indulging in her strange, wacky ideas. She could be very emotional, swinging from one side of the spectrum to another. She had such a big heart, willing to love, but also held grudges and was wicked if crossed. Wanda was a brat in all the loving ways you could mean. 
Raye could be best described as emotionally consistent. On the surface, she portrayed a wicked sense of humor and was fun to be around, but she was much more guarded than Wanda. She was very independent, not liking anything that might even intrude on her freedom. Raye kept her true feelings close to herself and seemed to be teasing you to come find out. 
It was different. You didn't mind, maybe liking it even (purely in the sense it was the opposite of Wanda, and you couldn't afford to keep lusting after your best friend in all possible ways).
Even so, your mind was distracted on the first date.
"Have you ever done a boudoir photoshoot?" Raye asks, her tone low and seductive.
"Can't say that I have," you smile, trying to remind yourself to be present during the date. It's been long since you've properly wined and dined someone, and Wanda kept entering your thoughts. 
"Well, there's a first for everything and you might even have a willing model," Raye bit her bottom lip suggestively, her index finger stroking the back of your hand. 
And while the southern twang does stir something in you, and you feel your stomach tingling, you're very aware that it's because Raye physically reminds you of Wanda. So, your mind traitorously imagines Wanda biting her lip and saying seductive things to you. 
"THEY WOULD NEVER—"
You whip your head around, swearing you heard Wanda. When there was no sign of her, you furrowed your brows in confusion, turning back to Raye.
Was this a sign of insanity?
You resolve right then and there to focus on the lovely brunette before you and enjoy the date. It was easy enough if you relaxed and earnestly asked Raye questions about herself. 
It was easy enough to hold Raye's hand and swing it back and forth if you just thought about how warm they were. 
It was enough to giggle when Raye leaned in closer to whisper something silly or naughty in your ear if you just thought about how her breath felt on the shell of your ear.
Suddenly, the car next to you went off, the alarm beeping loudly enough to make you and Raye jump in surprise. You turned around and noticed the couple behind you were gone. You thought they looked slightly familiar, but it was too difficult to determine when they were so far away in the dark under passing streetlights. 
Ultimately, you walk Raye up her steps, unsure what you want your next move to be. Everything feels strange since the revelation. You feel guilty for your lust, but specifically what causes it. 
But when Raye pulled you in for a hot, searing kiss, you decided to just go with the flow...which also ended up being nothing as she got a call from her sister while clothes were discarded. 
The call was only bordering on 40 seconds, but you decided your momentum was lost, and you needed that momentum to have sex with someone else while you tried (unsuccessfully) to not think about Wanda. 
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Fuck. Darcy.
Those were the only words that could come to your mind after Wanda texted her vague answer about whether or not she was returning home tonight. 
You sighed as you scrolled through the videos and photos, trying to get a headstart on putting together the video for Tony and Pepper. As you began opening up files, many were corrupted by the inability to open or glitchy images. 
With another sigh, your chair scraped against the floor as you shifted back, pulling out your phone and shooting a quick text to the videographer asking if you could meet up tomorrow to get the SD card for the originals. You got a prompt reply with a thumbs-up emoji with a time and place. 
You thought you might've just heard something shuffle in your room, but you forget about it when it's quiet again.
In the end, you spent another 45 minutes scrolling through some other photos that weren't corrupted, catching Wanda in the background and staring with a lingering thought about how absolutely pretty she was.
A part of you was in disbelief that Wanda was interested in women. You had so many questions that still lingered, but you didn't want to push Wanda or make it seem like you were interrogating her, and she needed to prove it.  
Still, you wondered what exactly made Wanda come to terms with the fact that she liked women.
Specifically, why couldn't you be the reason she was interested in women? You shoved those forbidden feelings down, beating them back into its box to put away. 
It didn't matter. 
It shouldn't matter.
You're with Raye, and Wanda may be with Darcy. Or some other girl, or maybe even with a guy again.
It's just not going to be you. 
And that's okay, you tell yourself. You can love someone without having to pursue anything. You just want to be there for Wanda. 
Of course, all of this changed the moment you watched a slanted confession video from an unaware Wanda while your roommate was out for lunch with a client.
Shock is the only thing that registers upon the video finishing. Were you hallucinating again? Was this like the first date with Raye where you kept thinking you could hear or see glimpses of Wanda?
But you played the video over and over, blinking every time it was finished.
Then a burst of strange laughter bubbled from your mouth, and then horror dawned on you that, 'oh, fuck. She actually feels the same way.'
It was unclear whether or not Wanda was trying to let her feelings be known or if she was also facing the same issue as you, where she was suppressing them. Either way, Wanda would unlikely be brave enough to say anything soon. 
You spent the week humming and hawing about what pursuing a relationship with your best friend would mean. What would the consequences be if things didn't work out? What would the consequences be if you declined to pursue anything more despite if Wanda confessed? What would the consequences be to watch Wanda move on and love someone else?
Your stomach dropped. 
You needed to break up with Raye. 
Your stomach dropped. 
You wait 3 more days before confronting Wanda since she's clearly a chicken.
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"You knew you had feelings for me for at least 3 months?" Wanda screeches. "And you said nothing?!"
"Okay, relax, you banshee," you wince at the sound. "How is that the only thing you hung onto out of everything I just told you?"
"But...but!" Wanda narrows her eyes on you. "It was getting serious with Raye!"
"Serious?" you raise your brow at Wanda. "What gave you the idea it was getting serious? We were dating but I saw her maybe a few days out of a month with how much she flies out for work."
"So, it wasn't getting serious at all?" Wanda frowns.
"Well," you purse your lips. "Maybe for Raye. She was considering transferring to another department so she wouldn't have to fly out anymore."
Wanda's mouth hangs open, her face pale with the worst thoughts of what might've been if they never confessed their feelings.
"Which," you cut in like you're able to read her mind, "obviously, I told her to not do as I wanted to end things with her."
"How did she take it?" Wanda asks curiously.
You look uncomfortable as you shift in bed, but Wanda waits patiently. "I think she just emotionally shut down. There were no tears, no screaming, or any accusations about why I was ending things. She just looked impassive as she accepted it and asked me to leave."
"Oh," Wanda bit her bottom lip. She feels bad in a way, but not bad enough to regret making you hers. "I'm sorry, bug."
You sigh as you reach over and pull Wanda close, pressing a kiss to her bare shoulder. The blanket shifts down, exposing Wanda's neck and collarbone where you had unabashedly marked up.
"Now, are you done with the questions, or can we resume where we left off?" You ask mischievously, pressing languid kisses against the side of her neck. 
Wanda closes her eyes with a soft hum, pressing her body closer to yours until you shift and move over Wanda. 
"I notice that you didn't mention anything about Darcy."
"Mention what exactly?" You say between kisses, stroking Wanda's hip. "That I was insanely jealous and wished her ill? Although, now that I know it was a fake date and neither of you had interest in each other, she seems nice."
Wanda laughs. "Even after she hacked your laptop?"
"With your help, might I remind you," you pull up and pointedly look at her. "But if she never corrupted those wedding files, I would've never got the original SD card and found out about your feelings."
"Very true," Wanda muses as she throws her head around your neck and pulls you close. She pecks your lips charmingly. "We should get her a nice bottle of wine."
"What about Steve and Bucky."
Wanda scoffs. "They're meddling little school girls who are probably kicking their feet and giggling."
You can't help but laugh before you dive in for another kiss, eager but slow. Oh, man. You were going to love Wanda for the rest of your life.
After a moment, Wanda sighs. "Okay, fine. We can give our McDonald's coupons to Steve and Bucky."
You laugh again. "Alright, brat."
"Okay, stinky."
"Chicken."
"Stupid."
"Witch."
"Here we go again with that," Wanda rolls her eyes with a smile. "I'll have you know that if I were a witch, I'd be the most powerful and best witch ever."
"I bet you would," you agree very readily. "Instead of cursing people to death, you'd be saving their lives...or causing mass chaos. Huh, I guess that's not so different from now." 
Wanda scoffs indignantly before she starts tickling you. You laugh, trying to jerk away, but Wanda is persistent in keeping you in place. 
"Mercy!" You laugh as you roll to the side. 
"Take that back! I do not cause chaos!"
"I take it back! You're clearly an A-List superhero!"
Wanda continues to tickle you anyway. "Say you love me!"
"I love you!"
Only then does Wanda stop, grinning wickedly as she presses a chaste kiss to your lips, and you're breathing heavily.
You want to call her a menace, but you're afraid that will only result in another tickle fight. 
Wanda smiles warmly.
"I love you, too."
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"See, I told you Wanda would be the one to confess!" Steve smirks.
"That's because you're a little cheater who went and nudged Wanda along," Bucky rolls his eyes with a smile.
"Oh, yeah, like you're the perfect picture of fair," Steve narrows his eyes. "Don't think I don't know that you went to Bug first. I had to step in and nudge Wanda to make the odds even."
"Was it really Wanda who confessed when it was Bug who technically discovered her secret."
Steve seems to think about it before he slumps into the sofa, "I feel like that's a gray area." Then, Steve frowns. "Ugh, but then that means neither of us wins the bet."
"We can just call it even," Bucky shrugs, laying his head on Steve's shoulder.
"Oh, no," Steve shakes his head. "I won't let you wriggle out of our bet. We will watch all the Lord of the Rings movies if you lose."
Bucky groans loudly. "But there's so many and they're so long."
"You really think I want to watch the Star Wars movies?" Steve rolls his eyes.
"They're a classic!" Bucky argues.
"So is Lord of the Rings."
Bucky huffs but concedes. "Fine," he wrinkles his nose. "Should we bet on something else?"
"No, I like the thrill of two people getting together, even if it takes time. Besides, we have the time since we have to finish a whole bunch of shows," Steve says.
"Hm, which ones of our friends are due to get together?" Bucky muses.
"We could try Nat and Maria," Steve suggests.
"No, too hard since Maria doesn't live here," Bucky shakes his head and then offers, "Yelena and Kate?"
"I think they're actually already together," Steve furrows his brows. "But if they're not, I'm too scared of Yelena to get involved in her affairs."
"I think that's all our friends who are technically single with a viable date option," Bucky sighs.
Silence falls between them before Steve suggests, "Want to bet when Tony and Pepper will announce they're pregnant?"
They stare at each other for a moment before they yell out their guess at the same time. 
"6 months!"
"6 months!"
The silliness of it all leaves Steve and Bucky giggling. 
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queenshelby · 4 months ago
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Daughter Dearest (Part Six)
Pairing: Cillian Murphy (47) x Step! Daughter (21)
Warning: Infidelity, Smut, Dysfunctional Family
Tag List will be updated soon! Please comment and engage!
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As the day progressed, some more wild weather had settled in, but that did not prevent Cillian from going out and picking up a delivery for you, namely some photographs you had developed externally from your recent travels.
Usually, you liked to do these things yourself, in a studio of your own, at least when utilising analog films, but this was not an option right now.  Cillian arrived home earlier than expected, his face still damp from the rain. The wind had picked up outside and the shutters beat against the brickwork of the house as he entered.
"Y/N," he called out, but you didn't answer. You had headphones on and was buried in one of your books.
He set the package down on the kitchen table and walked over to you, gently touching your shoulder. You looked up at him in surprise.
"I got your pictures," he said, pointing towards the table.
Your eyes lit up as you realized what he was referring to.
You pulled off your headphones and placed them next to you.
"Thank you so much for picking them up. You didn't have to," you exclaimed, beaming up at him, genuinely grateful.
"No problem," he replied with a soft smile. 
You jumped up from the couch, making your way over to the kitchen table. You noticed that the package was slightly damp from the rain.
Carefully, you unwrapped the package, revealing an envelope full of developed photographs while Cillian stood behind you expectadly.
"Would you like to see them?" you  asked, glancing back at him.
Cillian's gaze shifted between you and the envelope in your hands. He was curious, but he also didn't want to overstep any boundaries.
"Sure," he said finally, nodding his head. "I mean, unless they are too personal for you to share," he added quickly, remembering that you might not want him to see them.
You smiled at him, understanding what he meant. "I would love for you to see them," you told him, seeing how they weren't just random snaps. These photographs were part of your art and everything you photographed, especially during your last trip to Kenya, had a meaning.  They showed a snapshot of life there, its beauty, its harshness, and everything in between.
You opened the envelope, carefully taking out each photograph, placing them on the counter. The room was silent, the sound of the shutters beating against the brickwork still echoing. It made the whole scenario more magical, making you feel as if you were back in Africa, immersed in all its vastness and incredible beauty.
You picked up the first photograph, a black and white image of a woman carrying a baby on her back. Her face was etched with lines that showed the passing of time, but her eyes held a spark of life and strength.
Cillian leaned over your shoulder to get a better look.
"She's beautiful," he murmured, taking in the woman's stoic expression and the way she was cradling her child with such tenderness.
You smiled, glad that he could appreciate the photo's beauty.
"Yes, I took that picture when I visited a Maasai village," you said, feeling a sense of pride bubbling up inside you.
"Their way of life is so different from ours, but there's so much beauty in their simplicity."
Cillian nodded in agreement, completely captivated by the raw emotion conveyed in the photograph. He pointed to the next picture, which showed a group of children playing in a dirt field with a makeshift soccer ball. "These kids look so happy," he observed, admiration in his voice.
"They were! I spent an entire afternoon with them," you replied, feeling a fondness for those kids coming back.
"They don't have much, but they truly know how to enjoy the simple pleasures. It's quite inspiring."
Your voice trailed off as you went through more pictures, showing mostly people and their raw emotions. Each face told a story, and this was obvious to Cillian who watched you, mesmerized by your passion for photography. It was clear to him that this wasn't just a hobby for you, but a calling. He couldn't help but be impressed by your ability to capture moments, feelings, and the spirit of the places and people you've encountered.
You turned around to look at Cillian, noticing how he seemed lost in thought. " What's on your mind?" you asked him gently, your hand reaching out to touch his arm.
Cillian started and looked at you, his gaze softening as he saw the concern etched on your face. "Nothing, I am just...,"  he stammered, unable to put his feelings into words just yet.
"Just what?" you pressed, sensing that something was bothering him.
He licked his lips nervously, indecision etched on his face. "I think that you have a true gift Y/N. These photographs are  incredible," Cillian finally managed to say, his voice tinged with admiration.
You smiled, warmth spreading through you at the compliment, grateful for his acceptance and encouragement.
As the day went on, you, Cillian and you spent some more time together after, due to the bad weather, he had postponed his plan to catch up with his mate Dermont.  You noticed the easy way Cillian interacted with you and the way he listened intently as you spoke about your photography, understanding and appreciating the way it moved you. He even shared some of his stories from his early filming days, for a bit of nostalgia. 
Yet, despite this familiarity, there still lingered a sense of unspoken tension between the two of you. A pull that neither of you could explain or understand. It was an awkward dance of avoidance and stolen glances every so often.
The day after though, the weather cleared and Cillian went to see his best friend, meeting up with him for pint of Guiness downtown while you stayed at home.
You were still under house arrest and were only permitted to leave the property for an hour each day, during which you had to remain within a five-kilometer radius of where you lived. This was to permit you to exercise and attend to important matters, like shopping for essentials. 
These restrictions were frustrating, and the monitor had caused a rash to appear on your ankle, but you tried to stay positive. At least you weren't in jail.
While Cillian was out, you took the opportunity to call Nadine, asking her to come over but, unfortunately for you, she declined. She had an interview for a new job that day and really couldn't miss it.
As you spoke to Nadine, who appeared somewhat reserved over the phone and when you asked her about what was wrong, she revealed to you that she had heard rumors concerning your arrest. 
"I ran into Kevin at the hostel bar last night and I think it may have been Lucy who got the drugs into your bag,"  Nadine explained.
You frowned, feeling a surge of anger well up inside you. "But why would she do something like that?" you asked, incredulously.
Nadine sighed. "Well, apparently she was pretty pissed about you and Kevin having hooked up," Nadine explained, not condoning your mutual's friend's actions but clearly trying to explain the circumstances.
You scowled, frustration building up inside you at Lucy's pettiness. "But I haven't hooked up with Kevin at all," you hissed, your voice barely controlled. "In fact, most guys repulse me and that most certainly includes him,"  you added with a shiver of disgust.
Nadine remained silent for a minute, as if contemplating her next words carefully. "I know you didn't, but Lucy is pretty impulsive," she finally said, sympathetic. "Not that it makes it right though,"  she quickly added.
"But what am I supposed to do now?" you asked, frustrated. "I almost went to fucking jail because of her," you went on to say. 
Nadine sighed heavily. "Look, Y/N, I don't know, but I should really go now. I have that interview in half an hour,"  Nadine said, her voice gentle and concerned.
"I know, I am sorry," you said, feeling a pang of regret. "I shouldn't be ranting," you went on to say. 
"No, don't be silly. I'm always here for you, that's what friends are for," Nadine replied warmly. "But promise me that you won't do anything stupid," she added , feeling a sense of responsibility towards you.
You sighed heavily. "I won't," you answered, although this was far from the truth seeing how, as soon as Nadine hung up, you checked out Lucy's social media to see where she was at.
According to Instagram, she was still in town and you knew that you had to confront her. You wanted to get your name cleared and you wanted to tell her exactly what you thought of her. You were angry and you wanted her to know that you weren't someone to be messed with.
Thus, you quickly threw on a jacket, grabbed your sister's car keys, and headed out the door. The cold wind hit your face as you stepped outside, but you barely noticed. You were too focused on the task at hand.
As you drove towards the hostel, which was about nine kilometers away, your heart raced with anger. You couldn't believe that she had done something like this to you. You had never done anything to her, yet she had still decided to frame you.
The audacity of it all infuriated you, but you pushed past your rage and focused on the task at hand.
The hostel was crowded with young travelers, but you spotted her easily. She was sitting in the courtyard, sipping on an iced coffee and chatting with a tall blonde girl.
You approached her, feeling a surge of anger building up inside you. "Lucy," you said, your voice cool and controlled.
She looked at you, surprise flashing across her face. "Y/N?
What are you doing here?" she said, looking around nervously.
You ignored her question and cut to the chase. "Why did you plant drugs in my bag?" you demanded, anger tingeing your voice.
Lucy's eyes widened, and she looked at you in shock. "What? No, I didn't," she stammered, trying to deny it.
You raised an eyebrow, skepticism etched on your face. "Don't lie to me, Lucy. I know it was you," you told her sternly , your voice firm and unyielding.
She fidgeted, looking guilty as charged. "Fine. I did it. But I didn't mean for it to go this far," she whispered, finally admitting her wrongdoing.
"What do you mean you didn't mean for it to go this far?" You asked incredulously, not understanding why she would do something like this in the first place.
"I was drunk, and I heard about you hooking up with Kevin earlier that night.  It made me jealous, and in the heat of the moment, wanted you to get in trouble," Lucy confessed, tears streaming down her face.
You stared at her, shocked and angry. "You must be joking! How could you do something so stupid? I could have ended up in jail just because of your drunken fit of jealousy!" you shouted, your voice incredulous.
"I am so sorry Y/N. I even went to see you the morning after, just before you left, but you had already gone. I wanted to warn you and make it all right. I promise," Lucy said, sniffling and rubbing her eyes just as, suddenly, you watched as a police car pulled up into the hostel parking lot, and it was then when you looked down at your ankle, seeing a red light flashing on it.
"Oh fuck," you hissed, realisation dawning on you and, before you had time to act, Lucy got up and ran off while the officers were approaching you.
You stood there, frozen on the spot, with your heart pounding in your chest. You couldn't believe what was happening.
"Miss Y/N Y/LN?" one of the officers  called out, approaching you cautiously.
You swallowed hard, trying to steady your shaking hands as the figure in uniform stepped closer.
"You are in breach of your  house arrest, Miss," the officer stated calmly, but with an underlying tone of authority.
You nodded dumbly, looking down at the monitor on your ankle. The red light blinked menacingly, betraying your location to the people who held your freedom in their hands.
"I'm sorry, I can explain," you stammered, attempting to reason with the officers in front of you. "I know who did what I got in trouble for and I came here to confront her," you said, quickly reaching for the device on your ankle, scratching your skin beneath.
"Well, ma'am, we will have to take you down to the station and you can call your next of kin and your solicitor when we get there,"  the second officer said, his tone stern but not unkind.
He and the first officer took hold of your arms, guiding you gently but firmly towards the patrol car parked outside the hostel.
As they led you away, you couldn't help but feel a wave of embarrassment sweep over you. What had you gotten yourself into? It was like a bad dream from which you couldn't wake up and, if they actually called your mother while she was on vacation, you knew you would never hear the end of it.
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dancinglikebutterflywings · 4 months ago
Text
Interruption | Part 04
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-> Pairing: mafia husband!Kim Hongjoong x mafia wife!Reader
-> Sypnosis: Things go to hell for Y/N.
-> Warnings: mafia au. Italics are flashbacks. the other korea is mentioned. talks of being a spy. alludes to someone being told to kill themselves. guns. someone gets shot (but spoiler: they don't die).
-> Word Count: 1,490
-> Taglist: open. Leave a comment on the masterlist post, send an ask or fill out the taglist form.
Interruption Masterlist | Hongjoong Masterlist | Tag List Form
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As they make their way to the restaurant, Y/N flips through the folder that Wooyoung had given her earlier. “Ha-Na’s mother isn’t blameless in all of this,” she remarks, her eyes scanning the pages before she passes them to Hongjoong. Several sheets are filled with old photographs and documents related to the woman and her daughter. The folder starts to feel like a ticking time bomb, each page a revealing something that could unravel the carefully constructed facade Ha-Na’s and her mother, Ahn Soo-Ah have created for themselves. “She was troubled well before she got involved with Mun and my father.”  
She pauses when she sees the face of the man who had tormented her mother after her father abandoned them. His cold, calculating gaze seems to pierce through her, rekindling the rage she felt the last time she encountered him. Her fists tighten as she realizes that this woman not only played a part in her father leaving but also in the hell that ensued afterwards.  
“Ha-Na and her mother have no clue who they’re up against,” she mutters, mostly to herself, but Hongjoong nods in agreement. He’s seen firsthand the consequences of someone pushing his wife too far and feels no sympathy for anyone who might provoke her. 
“We need to be more careful this time,” Hongjoong advises her. “This isn’t just about someone trying to take over our empire. It’s much more personal than that,” he says taking the folder from her.  
Y/N pulls out her phone and calls Yunho. The man picks up immediately. "We're on our way," he informs her.  
"I need to know if you found anything about my father?" she asks.  
"I was just about to send you his details and address," he replies. “You should also know Ha-Na's mother is with him.”  
"Forward it to some of our men and have them bring them to Mun's restaurant," she instructs. "Make sure to warn them that if they try anything, they'll be dead the moment they step through those doors." 
With that she ends the call as they pull up outside the restaurant. 
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“Sorry, my mother couldn’t make it. She was murdered not long after our father left her, but you already know that,” Y/N glances at her father and doesn’t find an ounce of remorse but she can see the fear in them. “Now sit,” she orders all of them. San forces her father to sit down as Soo-Ah quickly sits in the chair next to him, feigning being terrified.  
“You too, Ha-Na,” she says waving her gun at her before pointing it at her mother. “I don’t want to kill her before you hear what I have to say.” 
Wooyoung comes closer, snatching the gun from Ha-Na, glaring at her and forces her into the chair next to her mother. With the gun pointed at her mother, Ha-Na abides and doesn’t make a fuss. Now that Soo-Ah was brought into it, Ha-Na calmed and the situation became more controllable. It was all the proof she needed to know that the woman who had broken her family is her half-sister's weakness. 
“Do you know why your mother stayed with Mun and our dear father had to wait all those years to be with her?” she questions Ha-Na, leaning in closer to her. “I’m sure you do since you’re all in this together,” she says waiting for Ha-Na to reply. The younger woman shakes her head but her quick glance towards her mother tells Y/N that she’s lying. “That’s what I thought. You two are close right?” she asks looking between the two women. They both nod. “That must be nice,” she mutters and steps back from them while Yeosang hands her the folder she’d been going through earlier. She opens it and drops it, its contents spilling on to the table, showing photos of a younger version of Soo-Ah, with a man dressed in military gear. Some of the photos she has a large belly, and some of them have her with a baby.  
Y/N observes as Soo-Ah's fake look of fright, turns into one of anger showing where Ha-Na gets her terrible acting skills from. 
“You didn’t think I would find out that you were enlisted as a spy?” She taunts. “Or that Ahn Soo-Ah is not your real name? Ri Mi-Rae.” 
Upon hearing her real name, Soo-Ah's face darkens. If looks could kill, Y/N would be six feet under. The atmosphere shifts, the air thick with unspoken threats. Hongjoong steps closer to Y/N, sensing the tension. He places a reassuring hand on her shoulder, but his eyes remain fixed on Soo-Ah. 
Soo-Ah hisses, her voice low and dangerous, "You have no idea what you're dealing with." 
"I know exactly what I'm dealing with, Ri Mi-Rae,” Y/N straightens, her resolve hardening. “You’re nothing but a con-woman who leaves destruction everywhere she goes. I’m truly surprised the North hasn’t caught up with you, yet. Maybe I should send you back myself.” 
“She would rather kill herself, than go back there,” Ha-Na retorts, while their father continues to sit there scared for their lives. 
“Should we test that?” Y/N says, taking a gun and handing it towards Mi-Rae only when everyone of her mens guns were pointed at her. “Try anything and they’ll end you quicker than you can blink. Now go on, prove your daughter right,” she urges, her tone a mix of challenge and provocation. 
Mi-Rae's eyes flickered to the gun, then back to Y/N. With her head held high, she silently refuses to take the gun. "You think you can intimidate me?" Mi-Rae finally spoke, her voice steady. "You have no idea what I’ve survived, what I’ve done to stay alive. You, little girl, don’t scare me. I’ve faced worse than you."  
Y/N's grip on the gun tightens, her resolve unyielding. "This isn't about fear. It's about choices you’ve made and how you’ve involved me in them,” she says her voice rising. Aiming the gun at Ha-Na while keeping her eyes locked on Mi-Rae, she pulls the trigger, ending Ha-Na’s life in an instant. "That was for my mother." 
Mi-Rae looks at her a mix of shock and fury in her eyes. Ha-Na's body crumples to the ground, lifeless, letting Mi-Rae and her father, Ha-Joon know that she is no longer playing around.  
Ha-Joon, filled with fear and confusion as he watched the scene unfolding in front of him, finally finds his voice. "You're a monster."  
"Is that so? And who do you think turned me into this, father?" Y/N retorts, allowing her emotions to spill over towards the man who had abandoned her all those years ago. Just hearing his voice brought back memories long forgotten about and she was transported back to being that little girl, lost and alone. 
Seizing the moment of distraction, Mi-Rae quickly grabs a gun and fires shots as she dashes out towards the back.  
"Get her!" Y/N yells at her men as they duck for cover. Four of them make chase after Mi-Rae as she looks around to make sure no one was hit. 
That's when her eyes land on her husband, bleeding from his chest and gasping for air. Her heart sinks into her stomach as she hurries to his side, and covers his wound with her hands trying to stop the bleeding as she yells at the others to help. Tears began to sting her eyes as she felt the warmth of his blood seep through her fingers.  
"Stay with me," she begs, her voice shaking as panic grips her throat. She has never felt this terrified in her entire life. 
"Y/N," Hongjoong's voice emerged weak and raspy as he lifted a hand to gently caress her cheek. "You need to get out of here. This isn’t safe for you." His eyes, usually so full of life, were clouded with pain, and Y/N could see the flicker of fear in them, not for himself, but for her.  
"I won’t leave you," she cries, her heart racing as she presses harder against the wound, trying to will the blood to stop flowing.  
"Y/N, listen to me," he gasped, his breath coming in shallow bursts. He winced, his hand slipping from her cheek to grip her wrist, his fingers trembling just as badly as hers. "I love you, Y/N. No matter what happens, remember that." His eyes locked onto hers, he calls for Wooyoung, “Get her out of here.” 
Before anything more could be said, San pushes his way in, replacing Y/N’s hands with his own as Wooyoung pulls her up and rushes her out of the building before she has time to process what’s happening. 
As she sits in the car with Wooyoung at the wheel, a chilling numbness envelopes the Mafia Queen’s body. Her voice, icy and determined, sends shivers down Wooyoung's spine as she declares, "I’m going to kill all of them. Her and everyone she cares about is dead." 
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@do-you-remember-summer-127 - @staytiny2000 - @rainydayteacups - @kpopmenace143 - @treehouse-mouse -
@alexxavicry - @jedi-dreea - @rainydayteacups - @green-agent - @tinyelfperson -
@yeonjunnie – @hollxe1 - @laylasbunbunny – @deltamoon666 - @skz1-4-3 -
@everythingboutkpop - @oddracha - @http-gyu - @skittyneos - @pinkpunkdynamite -
@keshivibes - @katsukis1wife - @jjoongstar - @arki-sha - @forever-atiny -
@lixisoul99
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sameschmidtdiffname · 10 months ago
Note
MIKE SMUT SMTH ABT HIS THIGHS AND HE S ALSO SUBBY PLSSSSS
DAAAAAAAAAARLIIIIIIIIIIING!
GUESS WHO JUST BROKE THEIR TWO WEEK BREEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAK!
Pretty
Mike Schmidt x Gender Neutral! Reader
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Summery: Men are so pretty. And they can be so stupid. And who doesn't like stupid, pretty toys?
Tags: No specified sex for Reader, Reader is referred to with a male title at one point for sexual purposes (which one I won't say, but it's not daddy! I will say that), otherwise no gendered pronouns used for Reader, sub! Mike, dom! Reader, dynamic switch, accidental kink reveal, thigh admiration (this was not as focused on thighs as I intended, honestly. I'm sorry lmao), Mike gets used like a BITCH, and I mean a BITCH. Bro gets DOGGED, bro gets USED, bro may be PREGNANT after this (he ain't, no mpreg, I'm just being funny), humping, biting, french kissing, marking, choking, just have fun with this. It's a treat for all!
Notes: I'M STILL ON A BREAK! BUT, you guys have been so sweet and so nice. So, a drabble, because I love you all and you deserve it <3
                     ▪︎◇{¤♧■♧¤}◇▪︎
I've always admired hands.
Strong hands, working hands. One of the first things I look for in men is if their hands look like they're capable of long lasting, almost back breaking labor.
The second thing I look for is shoulders. Preferably broad, capable of holding the third thing I look for. Which would be
Thighs.
I don't even have a particular taste for what those look like. The desire doesn't lie within the looks, although I could certainly spend a fair amount of my time stealing glances towards a fine, large pair. Straining against the material of their pants, spread out over a chair, doubling in size once someone sits. No, the desire lies in how sensitive they seem to be. Just a ghostly touch of your hands or lips upon the soft skin can usually send someone reeling. Can make someone sing such a soft, quiet note so raw and genuine before you've even drawn near to the area they want you the most.
I should've touched him sooner like this.
Mike Schmidt doesn't pretend to be a macho man. He's not insecure of his masculinity, he raises his little sister, goes to work, comes to bed. He doesn't have time to worry about being a man's man.
I can attest, however. Once in the bedroom, he has absolutely no issue with expressing his masculinity.
In any way, shape or form.
"Touch me," he moans breathily, bucking his fully clothed hips towards me in a desperate, needing manner.
I never said masculinity involves domination.
It'd just started with us cuddling on the couch. Abby out at a friend's, us snuggled under a warm blanket at home on the couch. The comforter to his bed, to be specific. Everything else was too small or too cold for us, so we just dragged it out. The old TV in front of us displaying a rerun of a movie we were only halfway paying attention to, both of us beginning to drift in and out of sleep. Mike had wrapped me under his arm, placing a soft kiss on my forehead every now and then when he decided it'd been too long since he last had. I was pressed against his side, one hand on his thigh, absentmindedly rubbing circles.
Here's the fun thing about guys. Half the time they are so touch starved, it takes nothing to get them going. And that's fun.
I didn't realize why Mike was beginning to shift in his seat some. Why his heartbeat against my ear had picked up, why his breathing was getting somewhat shaky. Tell tale signs of something, but honestly I figured it was the movie. It wasn't until he pressed a lingering kiss to my forehead, then trailed down to my cheek, my jaw, and began nipping at my neck that it began to dawn on me.
"What's got you in a mood?" I chuckled, my fingers digging I just a little more to his warm, covered flesh.
"Nothing," he said breathily in my ear, his tongue beginning to trace my jawline. "Just thought you looked pretty."
I call his bluff when I dig into a tense muscle, a loud, pathetic moan escaping him that he tries to quickly stiffle in my neck. Moaning and biting at me, his hand beginning to search my chest to graze his fingers against my sensitive nipples, easy to play with under the smooth material of Mike's stolen, cotton shirt.
"Ah," I say, continuing to rub as he pants eagerly against me. "I see."
Mike's trying to maneuver us so that he can position himself on top of me, and regularly I would agree, but I'm not quite done with my new toy just yet.
"Let me up," I say into his ear, trying to pull away. Mike simply moans into my skin, biting harder as his fingers finally wrap around my already stiff nipple, tugging at it, making me moan in harmony to him. "Mike," I say, trying to ground us both.
Mike doesn't care, his other hand searching for my thighs, knowing how much I like for mine to be played with before he spends hours between my legs, gasping, choking, and grinning ear to ear with pride after swallowing whatever amount of cum I'd given him. His teeth sink into my neck again, this time not just playful. Digging in and making me cry out in slight pain, yet pleasure coursing through me as my eyes roll back into my head.
"So pretty," Mike moans against me, his voice soft and high. His lashes flutter butterfly kisses against my forming bruises while his lips trail to my collarbone, his stiff cock brushing against my hand as he shifts.
This is what settles the idea in my mind.
My hand snaps up, pulling harshly at Mike's dark, almost black curls, tugging until his head had snapped all the way backwards, exposing the tan skin of his throat to me. Eagerly, I lick a long, wide stripe up his throat, from bottom to top until I can clearly feel the prickly stubble of his facial hair on my tongue. His adams apple bobs under the wet muscle as he moans openly, a moan that only increases in volume and pitch once I bite roughly into the side of his neck, not allowing him a chance to escape as I keep my tight grip on his curls.
"Fu-ck," he drawls, his voice breaking as he begins to allow me to guide him to my desires, laying him on his back against the worn down couch, his hips subconsciously rolling towards me in anxiety for my touch.
"So pretty," I breathe in his ear, a soft whimper escaping him as his blush deepens, accenting the subtle freckles that decorate his skin like the stars decorate the night sky. I've tried to kiss each one, knowing the task was futile, but was well rewarded by the puddle of mush he'd dissolved into as my lips had trailed against his tan skin. Mike tries to turn his face away from me to hide the blush, unsure of how else to handle the compliment.
God, I love men. They're idiots.
I grab his jaw, forcing his mouth open and adoring the pathetic whine that escapes him as I shove my tongue into his mouth, his eyes half open, watching me as he gives in to the kiss, his hands tugging at my shirt as he humps against nothing, pent up and stupid underneath of me.
They're so cute, right?
When I pull away, a long string of spit still connects us, his eyes obediently trained on me as I pin him down against the couch by his throat, anticipating my next move. I move myself to tower over him, his mouth still open as he pants, and I spit into his mouth. His eyes widen in surprise, but he doesn't complain. Hell, by the glint in his eyes, you'd think he'd thank me. Though he doesn't.
It's fine. He will soon enough.
I lower myself along his body, my hands once more finding his thick thighs and squeezing them, admiring the firmness underneath of his shorts.
"Have I told you I love your thighs?" I ask, my breath fanning against his covered erection. Mike simply moans.
"I do. Watch them all the time. Don't even realize I'm doing it, honestly," I say. I lean down, placing a feather light kiss on his hip. He whines. "They're so pretty. Just like the rest of you."
His hips buck towards me, his cock obviously twitching underneath the material.
"Touch me," he moans, his face pink and halfway covered with his hand. I reach up and grab his hand away, smacking swiftly at his thigh.
"Be good," I snap, earning me a sharp gasp as he writhes underneath of me, mumbling some sort of agreement.
"Good," I praise softly. "Good. See, that wasn't so hard."
My lips start at his knee, kissing there and beginning to work their way up as he clasps his hands above his head, teeth gritted in an attempt to stay quiet.
"You can moan," I tell him, my other hand slipping underneath the pant legs of his shorts. "I like the pretty sounds you make."
Pretty. I didn't know that was his trick word. The word that could force him into a pathetic, begging mess that can't even keep eye contact. Oh, he's beautiful. Bite marks blooming against his skin, such a deep blush, tossled curls. His soft abdomen shutters with each unsteady breath, slightly exposed, his happy trail dark against his skin and leading to the place that shows how he wants me. His tongue darting out to lick his lips so often they'll be chapped by the end of the night from overstimulation. That's his tell that he's close.
"What, pretty boy gonna cum in his pants?" I ask, my hand trailing along his hot skin and digging my nails in to make him sing. His back arches slightly, eyes trained on the ceiling as his mouth opens in an almost silent gasp.
"No," he clearly lies, his hips subtly moving of their own accord.
"You look like such a pretty mess!" I chuckle against his skin, pressing a soft kiss on his lower thigh. "I wouldn't blame you if you did."
He doesn't respond to this, clearly lost in his thoughts.
"Michael," I say, voice slightly firm. "Look at me when I'm speaking to you."
Mike rolls his eyes, huffing and not obeying. Aw. Cute.
My hands grip underneath of his knees, quickly shoving them to meet his shoulders, eyes wide as he gasps at the maneuver he's done to me so many times I can't even count. Shoved into a mating press, I grind my hips against him, pounding against him quickly and harshly, relishing the broken sounds he makes as I hump him hard enough his head is bouncing against the arm of the couch, his eyes fluttering shut as they roll into the back of his head.
"It's a simple request," I hiss against his skin, rewarded with a loud moan. "I didn't ask for your fuckin' attitude."
The glint in his eyes when they open unintentionally shows he's fine with this response, happy to take more and more until he really does cum with hardly any stimulation to his cock. His mouth is open, tongue peaking out from behind his bottom teeth, his breathing on the cusp of hyperventilating as he submits to my touch.
"Is it so hard?" I ask, keeping even time with my abusive pace. "To just listen to me?"
"No, sir," Mike moans happily.
Oh?
"What was that?" I ask, leaning closer as I shove his knees harder against his shoulders. His eyes snap open, dead ahead on the ceiling as his mind clearly tries to process what to say next.
"Nothing," he says quickly.
"Bullshit," I snap, adjusting my grip so one arm pins his knees so that my hand can snake down between us and smack at his ass in scolding. "Repeat yourself."
"I don't know what I said," he says quickly, avoiding eye contact.
I smack again, this time hard enough he cries out.
"Say it," I seethe, increasing my tempo and pounding harder against him until he looks like he may cry, his eyes squeezed shut and mouth open as he pants like a whore underneath of me.
"Sir," he finally admits, shame burning bright in his cheeks. "I called you sir."
I toss his legs onto my shoulders, my hand now finding his throat as I hump him into the bed, rewarding his honestly.
"I see," I drawl, not relenting my pace nor strength. "Someone's into getting used."
This seems to roll him over the edge, his face bright and relaxing as his eyes flutter shut, only for me to bite at his bottom lip, causing them to open again.
"Watch me," I command, biting harshly into his lip. "I wanna see how pretty you look when you cum like a good toy."
His eyes widen slightly, his mouth slack as he obeys. The moment I release his lip his tongue darts out to wet it, lingering over the soft bite marks.
"It's alright, you can do it," I say softly, choking him slightly harder. "Let me watch, then I'll let you fuck me however you want."
His eyes are pleading, begging for more.
"You want something? Use your words," I tell him, slamming particularly hard this time, hard enough his head slams into the couch concerningly. But he doesn't mind, does he?
"Kiss me," he breathes, so light, the request sounds innocent and sweet compared to the way I'm abusing him on his own couch. I comply, pressing my lips against his in a soft, sweet kiss that he whines into, his lips parting and tongue slipping against my lips in a sloppy, pleading, silent request. And how can I say no?
I part my lips for him, enjoying the way he arches into the kiss, moaning as our tongues slide together in a messy, graceless fight for control. My lips trap the tip of his tongue, sucking on it and tugging it upwards harshly as he cries out, his hips beating against mine as his lashes flutter shut once more, but this time I don't scold him. I simply grind against him as hard and as fast as my tiring body will allow, guiding him through his overwhelming orgasm, the sounds of his crystal clear moans cutting through the air, perfectly complimenting his red face, glistening eyes and shaking body.
"That's it," I coo in his ear. "That's a good toy. Just let me fuck you."
He's stupid and lost to the world, his cock twitching pathetically as thick ropes of cum decorate the inside of his shorts, making the material stick to his skin, overstimulating him as I begin to lessen my pace, beginning to give him grace he no longer has words to ask for.
"So pretty," I whisper as I try to kiss each tiny freckle on his beet red nose, his breath hot against my throat as he tries to regain his focus. "So pretty, and mine."
"Where the fuck did that come from?" Mike slurs stupidly underneath of me, his legs still trembling on my shoulders.
I giggle, smiling as I lean down to place another kiss, sweet this time, against Mike's swollen, glossy lips.
"I dunno," I say, shrugging. Mike whimpers as I pull away.
"Guess I just thought you were pretty."
                             ¤▪︎{♧}▪︎¤
I'm 100% gonna be late for work because of this, but worth it
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applestorms · 3 months ago
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following the very funny take that L just speedran his feelings for light from denial to acceptance over the course of the tennis game alone, i do think that even if L was somehow aware of the fact that his feelings verged on less-platonic he wouldn't necessarily see them as being requited. or alternatively, that if they are, light is too much of a repressed freak to ever get over his own bullshit enough to make it actually happen.
like i said in my own tags, this perhaps is another anime/manga difference to me. to elaborate...
in both cases, i think it starts off mostly the same: L's interest is Piqued when he realizes KIRA might actually be a human person, with the high of that feeling hitting its peak during lind l tailor as his theories are confirmed -> L's feelings about KIRA develop/are further complicated as he starts investigating light specifically. personally, i think he starts getting Interested™ while stalking him through the cameras in their house & seeing how he acts under the mask, realizes his feelings are Developing in a way he didn't expect the more he watches, and is fully in the Annoyance/Denial stage when he's autism staring at him throughout the testing sequence (could still vary) -> he works through/accepts it by the end of the tennis game, like a kind of background process monologue, maybe capping off specifically when light beats him.
following this, it seems natural to me that there would be a period where L furthers his investigation on light as KIRA while simultaneously also kinda trying to figure out how DTF he is. he's already pretty certain about the former point so a lot of this is just checking his work, watching very carefully to see if he can push light into losing his cool again and giving himself away, which has the additional side effect of pushing his newly developed crush to the front of his brain on a regular basis through sheer necessity.
this all comes to a head w/ misa's arrest. again, at some point throughout this time frame i think L starts putting enough pieces of the Light Yagami puzzle together to start figuring out that he's either 1. not interested entirely, or 2. never gonna fucking admit anything truthful about who he actually is, ever, even to himself. perhaps the next planned step of L's approach would be to push light into telling the truth or revealing something genuine about himself period, even outside of the KIRA investigation itself, but this gets fucked up by light's little memory loss/alternation plan.
yotsuba is interesting because it obviously gets to L quite a bit, showing aspects of his character that we don't really see outright before that point. it is well known that L is a filthy little liar, and that he specifically uses his lies as a way of testing light, but i think yotsuba is when he kinda. gives up on that. in a way, light is being fully truthful during yotsuba, it's just that what he believes to be truth has been manipulated beyond what's usually humanly possible. so L gets what he wants but it's a twisted version of it, and still misses the key component that drew him towards light in the first place (KIRA).
he's grumpy, basically. his toys aren't working the way he wanted them to, so he's throwing them at the wall and demanding that they fix themselves again. as i said before, L is simultaneously incredibly alienated from (the rest of/his own) humanity and directs his entire focus on it- he's the world's greatest detective, not out of empathy or sympathy for human suffering, but because people are the most interesting/complex puzzle he's ever come across and the scale of mass murder makes his dick harder than anything else.
in a way, you could see him locking light away in this shitty little constantly watched cell/literally holding him on a handcuff leash at all times as L's attempt to recreate the feelings that started popping up while he was watching light in his house the first time, seeing the seeds of a serial murderer in his little perfect teenager pet. the most notable shift throughout all of this though is the fact that L starts telling the truth- to bring this classic panel back,
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he's not bothering with the "ooo sounds like something KIRA would say," shtick now. honestly the only other time someone really gets this blunt about telling light he's KIRA to his face is near:
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(think this might be my favorite near panel ever lmfao. finally found it in ch.80 =3=)
point is, L is both pissed and genuinely kind of depressed throughout most of yotsuba, or at the very least has been annoyed into spitefully shucking off all his duties cuz he doesn't wanna play the game anymore. childish, and a sore loser- just like he said.
ANYWAYS. the differences between the anime and the manga, right.
the main way this diverges is that i think L is definitely aware of his feelings in the anime. all of the evidence for this comes down to episode 25- the rain scene, the foot washing, "Have you ever told the truth once in your life?" and so on and so forth. part of this may actually follow the divergences of light's characterization between the anime and manga, but L is almost certainly talking about something that light isn't willing to admit during these scenes and it's motivating a lot of his hardest lines.
again, it's the two cases: either he's morose about the fact that his feelings are unrequited and kicking back as a final fuck you for getting pulled around for so long, or (and personally, i kinda think this is more likely) he is aware of the fact that light does like him back in that way and Supremely salty about the fact that he won't ever act on it. "It will be lonely, won't it," etc. etc. "You're gonna fucking miss me, bitch. You don't have to do this but you're going to tear us apart anyway, and I don't forgive you, never will." light is putting the game above them, and L is fucking mad about it lol.
sidenote: it's interesting that the tennis game itself kind of parallels/foreshadows L losing in this way. as i've said before, in the tags on some fucking post i don't even remember now, light knows throughout the tennis game that winning might add to his KIRA percentage (though it is admittedly still quite vague), but he chooses to go for it anyway. just can't stop himself from winning, even if it goes against him and everything he actually wants... some classic light yagami shit right there.
in the manga this is a lot less clear, specifically because we are lacking these scenes in particular. L's death just happens so goddamn quick in the manga, it rushes up and catches him by surprise basically the second he lets his guard down and stops watching light, so we don't get this same drawn out saltiness as he metaphorically bleeds out. this is not to say it isn't present entirely- much of the above analysis still applies to the manga just as much as the anime, but it is perhaps a lot more subtle to follow by the end.
honestly, that all being said, i think manga L is also a lot more likely to simply never figure his shit out when it comes to light. it's a particularly interesting part of canon to me that both of these interpretations actually seem to work equally well when it comes to L, that he is either fully aware for most of the series about his feelings or entirely unaware and never bothers to reflect or consider it. says something about his character i guess, that he still manages to hide or cloud so many of his internal thoughts that shit like this can be pretty ambiguous and still feel kind of core to his character.
anyways, thanks again to @ai-the-broccoli and that original post for kicking this particular essay off, as well as everyone else who responded for getting my brain rolling this time around :)
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