#also i only need a few trophies left in the game and

[thecodeveronica]

You know, I'm gonna justify my decision to replay Code Veronica again rather than any of the many games in my backlog by saying it's research for fic writing

[allfryam]

bulk up

Evan was in his final year of high school. He just turned 18 and he was feeling great. He was the star of the football team and he had a smokin hot body. His abs looked like they were chiseled from stone, his pecs sat like trophies on his chest. His arms glistened and bulged with muscles. one day after practice, his coach called him over. Even ran over, dripping with sweat. “I need you to move up a weight class”. Coach said. “We’re starting to struggle against teams with bigger players. We need some more meat on the team.” Evan was skeptical. He would have to give up his precious abs? He didn’t know if he could. But coach convinced him it would only be around 20 pounds, and he could lose it when the season ended. that night, instead of making a fresh, healthy meal, Evan drove to McDonald’s and ate a large Big Mac meal. He couldn’t believe how good it felt. Soon, Evan was off of school for a few weeks due to construction. This also meant no football practice. He didn’t mind though. He was too busy bulking. He spent most of his days shirtless, playing video games and eating snacks in his room. Without realizing he had already gained over 15 pounds. All of the junk food and snacks that he was eating was starting to take a toll on his waistline. His abs had slowly disappeared, and his muscles began to grow softer. He had a slight paunch that hung over the waistband on his underwear. by the time the construction was over and Evan could get back to school, his pants were quite hard to button. He mostly just wore sweatpants anyway. His smallest shirts began to ride up and reveal a sliver of his belly. at practice, coach called Evan over again. “You been bulking?” “Yes sir” Evan replied. Coach took Evan to the scales to see how much weight he had gained. “You lost a pound?! What the hell is wrong with you?! I’m going to have to do this myself. Come to my house later tonight.”

Evan was confused. He was sure he put on weight. None of his pants fit, and his abs were completely gone. He arrived at coaches house and knocked on the door. Coach let him in and told him to have a seat at the table. Evan still didn’t know what coach had in store but he was scared. He was also pretty hungry. Coach brought out 3 pizzas, a cake, canned pastas, ice cream, and a batch of chocolate chip cookies. Evan’s eyes grew wide. “You’re not leaving tonight until you eat all of this food.” Coach yelled. “But coach-“ coach shut him up and told him to eat. evan started with the pizza. He did good on the first two, but the last one was giving him trouble. It took a while, but eventually he finished the last slice. Next was the pasta. He was already pretty full but coach wouldn’t let him take a break. Evan kept eating and moaning as he got fuller and fuller. His belly was starting to stretch and expand, and his belt grew tight. He ripped it off and undid his pants and let out a sigh of relief. He continued to eat and eat until the pasta was gone. Coach let him take a little break before dessert but it didn’t help much. Evan dug into the cake with his hands, shoving fistfuls of food down his throat. His face was covered in pizza sauce, grease, and chocolate icing. He continued through the cake until he started feeling nauseous. “I thought this might happen. Here” coach said as he gave Evan some anti nausea medicine. After a couple minutes Evan felt better and finished off the cake. For the last two things, Evan combined the cookies and the ice cream to make it easier for himself. He took off his tight shirt to make some room and he dug in. After an hour of moaning and burping, he couldn’t do it. There was still a few cookies left and almost half a tub of ice cream. “You’re gonna come back every night until you can finish one of my feasts boy” coach yelled.

after a few weeks of this, Evan was still unable to finish one of coach’s meals, but they were definitely starting to affect his body. His slight paunch had grown into a round ball gut. His pecs were saggy moobs and his tight ass was big and jiggly. His thighs almost doubles in size and he had an extra chin now. But Evan was competitive. He wouldn’t stop until he won.

[kachowden]

Hii! I just saw your Loren art work and HE. IS.SO. CUTEEE!!! 💖💖 the pink collar around his neck is 😍😍 but it made me think of a funny scenario (most likely one where reader knows about his obsession with them and uses it to their advantage)

It was a huge game for the college team. Almost everyone and their grand mama came to see it! Two rival teams competing against each other, both known for their long streaks of winning, and not only that! Loren’s darling is on the sidelines cheering him on! (You are probably just watching the game bored out of your mind cuz the coach FORCED you to be there *saying it’ll give them a higher chance of winning*) unfortunately though Loren’s team seems to be losing by a couple points. The stands are restless and the other teams stands even started mocking the players! With Loren’s coach yelling and hollering he suddenly got an idea.

Coach: OY! Number 13’s (girlfriend/boyfriend)! Get over here!

Surprised at the sudden call over you quickly walked over to him. “What-“ “-no time for Lilly gagging! I need you to give number 13 a pep talk! Some type of motivation! You hear me!? I ain’t gonna let these assholes win!!” He cut you off and told you what to do. Thinking for a minute as he pushed you to where Loren was taking a break on the bench, a thought popped up. You sighed and stood in front of him, he looked up to you in with that cute gaze and a sad smile. “Hey (y/n), I know this ain’t look too good but I bet we can still turn this around!” He tried to stay positive (as positive as you can get when making a fool of your self in front of your crush). You just lowered yourself to his eye level and started talking.

(Y/n): don’t worry bout that, don’t worry about what already happened. Just focus on what you do next. Cuz like you said you still have time to turn it around. *you grabbed the back of his neck and leaned into his ear, whispering* if you do manage to win,I’ll celebrate with you-give you a reward. I’ll do things so VILE to you that it’ll make the devil blush~ *giving him a smirk and a kiss on the cheek you left him on the bench*

Meanwhile the other team:”We are destroying those fools!” “They can’t keep up with us!” “That trophy is—wait do y’all hear boss music??”

Long story short Loren’s team won, the other team had most of their players end up in the hospital and he didn’t leave your apartment for almost 3 days after. (He also couldn’t walk properly for a whole week and had to wear more “covering” clothes for a while) —💖💖 anon

I almost feel like I don’t need to write anything at this point! The scenario is too good too pass up though.

——————————

Loren was frustrated. You could see it from where you sat on the teams bench. Technically, you weren’t supposed to be sat their, as it was reserved for the team and all, but the coach had made an exception for you on account of Loren’s-….crush. Or whatever it was. You didn’t know and you didn’t care.

But you had to admit, seeing that look on his face was a little upsetting. The guy had been sweet to you. A little overbearing, but sweet. And you found it a bit hard to deny the butterflies in your stomach whenever he looked so eager for praise or attention from you.

You weren’t stupid. Loren had made his intentions very clear after the first few meetings. “My lucky charm” he so often said. You found that almost laughable, what with how unlucky you often seemed to be.

That felt all the more true when you watched Loren let out a frustrated sigh, his helmet being roughly pulled from his head as the coach called a time out.

You watched, in a somewhat flattered manner, as narrowed brown eyes found their place on you, and subsequently widened in shock and awe. A wide smile broke onto the star players face as he made a beeline straight towards you.

You stood up once he came to a stop infront of the bench you occupied, and handed him his water bottle.

Loren’s tan cheeks flushed darkly, though you weren’t ignorant enough to assume it was from sweat with the way he was staring at you.

It was intense enough to make your heart beat just a little faster.

He panted after a quick sip, trying to catch his breath and not sound more pathetic than he felt.

“What-“ a deep breath “what’re you doing here? I thought you had a test tomorrow?”

Loren didn’t do much to hide how happy he was seeing you. Though the embarrassment of his previous play seemed to quickly settle in when he realized you had been watching him flounder about on the field.

You gave a soft huff and folded your arms. “Yeah-, well.” You glanced to the side, a bit shyly. You weren’t embarrassed. Only a little actually. Maybe a lot. “I finished early and decided to come see the game. A friend of mine told me it was a big deal or something so I figured I’d might as well.” Actually you knew the whole time. And you skipped studying. The real reason you showed up was because you felt guilty after seeing his face when you first rejected the offer.

God it payed to be pretty didn’t it?

Loren’s smile became all the wider at your answer. Though you spotted what seemed like mirth dancing in his eyes, before he shook his head of the cold water he sprayed onto it and looked deeply at you.

“Well I’m glad you came. Though, I wish you hadn’t see us getting our asses kicked out there..”

Jesus that kicked puppy look was killing you. You imagined he probably felt the brunt of his teams failure. Since he was the captain and all. You felt a bit bad for the guy.

“….”

You bit your lip softly.

Am I really about to do this?

If there was one thing you learned about Loren, Is he was driven by motivation. And nothing got him more motivated than you. He was more like a dog than people realized.

With only a few minutes left in the game, you decided it was a now or never situation. Besides, it wasn’t the worse case scenario.

You didn’t mine the idea actually.

With quick resolve you gripped the front of Loren’s jersey with one hand, yanked him down to your height and gripped the hair on the back of his neck firmly with the other, earning a startled grunt from the burly player who looked at you with wide glazed over eyes.

The way he was staring at you was borderline…..

Whatever that wasn’t important right now.

“Loren. I don’t know why the fuck your playing like shit right now.” Your heart ached at the borderline whimper that poured from the poor brunettes chest, “But I know damn well you can kick this shitty little teams ass.”

Loren’s breath cought in his throat for a moment, and he stared deeply in your eyes as if searching for any hint that you didn’t believe what you just said. But when he found nothing he swallowed thickly with a raging flush.

“(Y/n)…”

Time to real him in.

With a heavy exhale you furrowed your brows and gripped tighter on to his shirt.

“If you make a come back and win this game…”

“I’ll give you a kiss.”

.

.

.

Somehow the deafening roar of the two teams crowds faded instantly into white noise. The bright lights of the night poles buzzed dully in your ears as Loren’s brown eyes burned so hard into you, you swore you’d go blind.

“On the lips?”

“On the lips.”

You watched as this 6’6 hunk of man slid onto his knees in front of you, and you forced yourself not to whip around in embarrassment at the sight and the possibly of a dozen eyes watching you.

Loren breathed deeply, pushing his head into your stomach softly, like a dog asking to be pet, and you couldn’t stop yourself from running your fingers through is soft wet hair.

He shuddered, and shakily exhaled. “Promise?” He begged this wasn’t a cruel joke. Something you were going to hang over head.

“Promise.”

Holy fuck

You’d never seen a guy bolt up like that before. With nimble feet he grabbed your hand and placed a gentle kiss on the pads of your fingers, like a promise of what was to come, before turning around and marching onto the field, helmet now securely placed on his head.

The aura he had was intense. Like he was officially in the game for the first time that night. And it seemed both teams realized this, with the way their shoulders tensed and the audience grew more frenzied.

It was over before the enemy could even blink, and the sound of cheers that followed was deafening.

You could feel yourself smile a bit at the sight of Loren’s teammates crowding around him excitedly, like kids who just won a new toy.

He laughed loudly, though quickly jerked away from their hold and ran to you.

He was out of breath when he reached you, and the furious red on his cheeks was very telling. In fact, you were pretty sure the sweat and heavy breathing wasn’t from the game he just played.

Guess you had to commit now huh?

Loren’s gaze was nothing short of eager and desperate, and the way he licked his lips, seemingly unconsciously made the whole thing seem much more vulgar than it actually was.

It was just a kiss right? Probably barely even a peck.

You should’ve known that Loren was gonna get as much out of that single kiss as he could though.

With quick confirmation from you, Loren’s large rough hands took careful hold of your face. He already looked ruined from just touching you, though that may have been the post game sweat.

Time slowed briefly, and before you knew it you felt a heavy breath on your lips, where the star players hovered for a moment before finally pressing down.

It was soft at first. Gentle. His hand moved to the back of your head, pulling you closer amongst the screams and roars of the fans who watched in awe.

Some angry. Most charmed by the romantic display.

Though when Loren’s other hand slid to your lower back, and his foot inched forward to press further into you, causing you trip, the noises faded out again.

Because Loren didn’t stop kissing you. Even when you’d fallen and your mouth popped open to gasp slightly, and his arms caught your head and cradled it tenderly and possessively, he continued to kiss you. Deeply, passionately, and above all else desperately.

What was supposed to be a pretty and simple kiss quickly turned into a make out, Loren’s hands groping at varying parts of your body but never breaking away. Your hands subsequently finding themselves tangled in his spiky soft hair.

At the sound of a low groan pouring from Loren’s lips you snapped out of it and pushed him away, though he resisted for a moment before remembering where he was.

Lifting himself up, he didn’t appear the least bit embarrassed by the public display as he hovered over you on the dewey grass field.

He looked almost frustrated at the interruption if anything.

The sky was dark above him, and the faint artificial lights glowed around you in his eyes. Though you could’ve argued similarly.

He almost looked angelic. If it hadn’t been for the look in his eyes and the odd firmness on your thigh.

Your embarrassment reached its peak when the coach blew his whistle at the two of you.

“Alright Ortega quite snoggin and get your puebescent ass over here! We still gotta wash up and go over the game! ”

Fuck you wanted to crawl in a hole and die so badly. At least your team won the game right?

It was best you didn’t know the only reason they had been losing in the first place was because a certain wonder boy was pouting over your previous rejection.

[porcelana-r0ta]

The Curse of Sight, Part 7

DCxDP

[Part 6] [Part 7] [Part 8]

[Ao3 Link] (Registered Ao3 users only)

Summary: When Wes Weston meets Tim Drake-Wayne, the dots start connecting. And those dots form a bat.

xxXxx

After a phone call with his mom to confirm that it’s alright for Wes to stay the night, Rebecca leaves with the AV equipment in a Wayne vehicle with a WE driver from HQ. (She also absconds off with a few extra Alfred Pennyworth cookies, but no one calls her out on it.) Wes is then left alone with Tim for a grand tour of Wayne Manor. 

The estate is large and sprawling, but Wes is nothing if not observant and adaptive, and he makes quick work of memorizing the layout. He’s careful to make mental notes of places that could potentially hold secret passages. 

Part of Batman’s whole thing was that he had a Batcave, right? Surely it’s connected to the Manor. The entrance is most likely on the first floor for easier access if the Cave is underground, which is the most logical conclusion given that the Batcave has to hold a computer with enough processing power to be the legendary Batcomputer, all the Bat-vehicles, plus any trophies Batman has collected in his lucrative career as a vigilante. Also, if it’s as much of a cave as the name implies, it’s got to be underground. 

Not that Wes wants to go exploring. This investigation is just so he can mentally note what areas to avoid and always have plausible deniability. 

“Oh, no, Mr. Bruce Wayne, sir, I didn’t see you come out of a bookcase secret passageway with bruises that strangely match up with Batman’s. You see, I was over on the bench in the Wayne Gardens, much too far away from the Wayne Library to see any secret nightlife activities. I’m just a simple teenage boy, haha, please don’t steal my kneecaps. Anyway, what did you think of My Immortal? ”

Yes. Foolproof and non-suspicious, two of Wes’s favorite things in Gotham. He even deflects into the Brucie Wayne persona in this imaginary scenario.

God. This is too stressful. Wes knows too many people with alter egos. He needs normal friends—he can’t keep being the normal friend for abnormal people. Maybe he should start going to the community center in his mom’s neighborhood and meet normal teens with normal Gotham interests. (Wes imagines the normal Gotham teen experience to be the universal vaping and smoking, plus minor vandalism and maybe even some pickpocketing in the Diamond District. He’d sidestep any vigilante-chasers or gangsters, naturally. He’s got to avoid the Bats!)

Of the first floor, there are the following rooms: the kitchen, the dining room, the living room, the parlor, the drawing room, Mr. Wayne’s office, the game room, the theater room, the servants’ quarters, the bathrooms, and the garage.

The kitchen likely has too much foot traffic to keep a secret entrance, plus Mr. Pennyworth seems too proper to let Bat-hijinks take place anywhere near his domain. The foot traffic would remain an issue for rooms like the living room, the drawing room, and the parlor. The theater and game rooms may be an option — both had bookshelves to hold board games, video games, DVDs, and VHS tapes, and bookshelves are classic rich people hiding places. The library is another potential place, even if it’s rather stereotypical. But maybe he should expect stereotypes from the same people with a cow named Bat-Cow? 

The servants’ quarters, only occupied by Mr. Pennyworth and not included in the tour, would be an unexpected place. It may be too far out of the way, though. The bathrooms could be an option: no one is going to interrogate someone for spending too long in a bathroom. But some people are nosy about what others keep in their bathrooms, and someone as paranoid as Batman would account for that. The garage is likely too much of a security liability given that it’s right there along the driveway for an easy getaway. 

That just leaves Bruce Wayne’s office, where it wouldn’t be weird for a CEO to disappear into for hours at a time, nor would it be weird for it to be off-limits for people to be in. Wes was only shown where the room was, not the inside. It’s totally normal to not be brought into your friend’s dad’s office. So normal, in fact, that Wes wouldn’t have even questioned it if he didn’t already know that the Waynes were the Bats. 

So, avoid Bruce Wayne’s study. Not a problem for Wes because he has zero reason to go in there in the first place. This sleepover thing will be a piece of cake. 

Right now they were in the game room, playing Mario Kart 8 on the Switch. The Waynes were wealthy enough that both Tim and Wes had a pro-controller. (Eat the rich!) Right now, Wes was beating Tim by a decent margin as Luigi, but he’s not sure how much of that is Tim letting him win. He’s only played Mario Kart a few times, and never on the Switch, so he’s not really world champ. It’s nice of Tim to fake being bad, though. 

“Damn, you win again,” Tim says, watching Luigi pass the finish line, followed by his avatar, Princess Peach, seconds after. 

“‘Cause you’re going easy on me.”

“What? No I’m not.” 

“You liar.” One of the best ways to lie is to pretend to be a bad liar. Make a few sacrifices with your integrity and no one will question you when you lie well about something that actually matters. His parents taught him that. “Play better this next round.”

“Are you trash talking me?” Tim is playfully offended. 

Wes scoffs, grabbing one of the sofa cushions and setting it against the armrest. He buries himself into it, swinging his legs onto the couch. He’s just barely tall enough to shove his socked feet into Tim’s ribs where he’s sitting. “Am not. I just know that you’re a little tech nerd, and that you can totally kick my ass. No way you haven’t obsessively played Mario Kart.” 

“First of all, I resent that.” He shoves Wes’s feet away. His ears are red. Still cooling down from outside? They weren’t so red a little bit ago. “Second of all, fine. Let’s do Rainbow Road.”

“Sweet, a challenge!” 

Tim selects the Special Cup, and Wes does semi-decently in the first three courses, though Tim only barely holds onto first. The last course is Rainbow Road, and Wes proceeds to fall off the track every thirty seconds. He crosses the finish line in a very humble tenth place. Tim, impossibly, does worse than he has in previous rounds, ending in fourth place rather than the calculated second to spare Wes’s pride of their previous Cups. 

“Hmm. That was humiliating.”

They both turn to look at the doorway, where Damian Wayne lurks, holding Alfred the Cat. 

“Don’t be rude, Demon Spawn.” Tim scowls. Wes stretches his feet out to nudge at Tim admonishingly. 

“Dude, c’mon. He’s right. That was bad.” 

“Weston is correct, Drake. And besides, I was talking about you.”

“Okay, that’s it—” Whatever Tim is about to say is cut off when Wes kicks him, harder than a nudge, but not enough to hurt for longer than a few seconds. “Wes! What the hell?”

He ignores Tim, “Did you want to play, Damian?” He gestures at the TV with his controller. 

The boy straightens up, and the movement makes Alfred the Cat wriggle free of his hold. She darts into the room, behind the sectional couch and out of sight. “Don’t be ridiculous. I am merely here to relay Pennyworth’s message that supper will be ready in thirty minutes.” 

“Oh, so you’re scared that you will do worse than me?” He raises a challenging eyebrow. 

“Tt. I could defeat you and Drake blindfolded.” 

“Prove it.”

Wordlessly, Damian marches into the room and swipes the controller from Wes. He laughs, kicking his feet off the couch and getting up to grab a third controller. When he turns back to the couch, Damian is already sitting beside his big brother, his back straight and his face neutral. He turns on the controller and joins them on the couch, leaving enough room for Damian to not feel crowded with a stranger. 

The kid reminds him of some of the more minor-league ghosts who like to annoy Danny for attention. Ghosts like fighting, they like arguing. Siblings shared in that trait, usually. 

Tim grumbles and switches to three person multiplayer, then asks, “What tracks do you want to play?”

“The same one you and Weston were on. I will defeat you both.” 

“Well, definitely me,” Wes says. Damian only sniffs in response. 

They speed through character selection, Wes keeping Luigi and Tim keeping Peach, and Damian chooses Shy Guy. After choosing their vehicles (Wes is the only one who chooses a cart instead of a motorcycle), they start the Special Cup. 

They quickly discover that Damian is a ruthless competitor. Wes lets out a frustrated groan at the third green shell that hits him, whereas Tim curses at his little brother. “How are you so fucking good? I thought video games were beneath you!”

“Jon has a Switch. He likes Mario Kart and Minecraft.”

“Of fucking course he does.”  

Wes wonders who this “Jon” person is. A civilian friend? A fellow superhero? He hates knowing superhero identities, but his mind runs theories anyway. 

Damian continues to win against them, and when that gets boring, he purposely keeps a middle-pace so he can collect shells. His aim is unfortunately impeccable. After twenty minutes of losing to his little brother, Tim calls it quits. “Okay, that’s it. We need to wash up for dinner before Alfred gets mad.” 

“Scared to continue losing, Drake?”

“Hardly. Go wash your hands, brat. You were holding the cat earlier.”

“She’s cleaner than you,” Damian insults. Then, before Tim can retort, he bounds out of the room. 

Tim turns to Wes, “Dude, seriously?”

“What? He obviously wanted to hang out with you.” 

“No he didn’t! He’s Damian. He wanted to spy on me and you so he can insult us better later when you aren’t around.” 

“Mh-hm.” Wes is doubtful. “I don’t know about that. He acts like how I did when I was in middle school and wanted to hang out with my older cousin.”

“It warms my heart that you’re capable of seeing the good in evil.”

“You don’t mean that, dude.”

Tim smiles, “I guess not.” 

After washing up themselves, they head downstairs for the dining room. They are greeted by the savory scent of steak. Wes’s mouth waters. Real rich people food. 

Bruce Wayne (Batman!) is already seated at the head of the table, Damian to his right. Tim grabs Wes’s hand and pulls him to sit on the other side, with Tim acting as a buffer between him and Bruce Wayne. 

“B, this is Wes Weston, my friend. He works in PR, specifically with our TikTok team.” There is no TikTok team, unless Wes and Rebecca count as a team. What is she supposed to do when he goes back to Amity with his dad at the end of the summer? “Wes, this is Bruce, my adoptive dad.” 

Well, only after the whole fake uncle thing, Wes thinks to himself. But he isn’t supposed to know about that. “It’s nice to meet you, sir.”

“Please, call me Bruce when we aren’t at work, Wes.” Bruce Wayne grins that Brucie grin, big and disarming. I’m onto you, Batman. You can’t fool me. “It’s great to see Tim with friends his age. I had a lot of concern after he dropped out of high school, you know, but—”

“Bruce, please. Stop embarrassing me!”

“I’m just expressing my love for my son, Tim.” He turns to Damian, “Don’t follow your other brothers’ examples. Stay in school.” 

“Of course, Father,” Damian says while Wes snorts. 

The Waynes are really zero to nil on children who have high school diplomas. Dick Grayson ran off (or was run off?) at age sixteen, Jason Todd was declared dead (though Wes suspects that maybe he really did die—is there a way to get Danny and Co. to look into that without spilling identities?), and Tim dropped out and created an uncle after his parents passed so he could become a full-time CEO and vigilante (Wes should sit down with Tim and talk about good coping mechanisms, and also never admit to knowing about the fake uncle or the vigilante activities). Hell, even Bruce Wayne is a medical school dropout!

They still at least had Damian Wayne and Duke Thomas, Wes supposes. Maybe they can be the Wayne kids who finally walk at graduation. 

As if on cue, Duke Thomas trudges into the room, clearly tired from daytime patrol as The Signal. Though, Wes is likely supposed to believe that Duke is out doing volunteer work or something of the like. 

“Hey, guys. New person.” Duke squints at Wes, then rubs his eyes. A pair of tinted glasses hang on the collar of his yellow shirt. He grabs them and puts them on.

“Hello, Thomas.”

“Hey, Duke.”

“Welcome back, Duke! Have you met Wes yet? Are your headaches acting up again?” 

“Nope,” says Duke, taking his seat next to Damian. “Nice to meet you. I’m Duke. And my head’s fine.”

“Nice to meet you, too.”

“Is Dick still here?” Duke asks. 

Bruce shakes his head, “He had to leave to make it back to Bludhaven so he’d be able to rest before his shift with the BPD tonight.” 

Wes translates that as He’s got Nightwing work tonight. But who knows? Maybe he really does have a night shift. 

“Ah, that sucks,” Duke says.

Alfred walks in pushing a cart of the mouth-watering steak, mashed potatoes, gravy, and roasted vegetables and starts to serve everyone.

Wes may have to sleep over more often. 

“Thanks, Alfred,” Wes says when his food is plated. 

“Of course, Master Wes.”

He wrinkles his nose at that, even though Alfred’s called him that a few times upon coming in for snacks after filming. Being called “master” makes him feel like some kind of egocentric wealthy elitist. 

“So, Wes,” Bruce Wayne, literally Batman, starts after everyone has been served. Wes straightens up tp better search for any signs of dinnertime kneecap removal. “You’re Penny’s son and that you intern at WE. How are you liking it so far?”

Normal dinnertime conversation. Excellent. Wes has been to dinners every evening of his life, so he should ace this. 

“It’s fun. I mean, I just did coffee runs and stuff at first, but it’s a lot more engaging now that Rebecca is running the TikTok and is using me as her Gen Z brain monkey.” 

“She’s not that much older than you.” Tim rolls his eyes. 

“The WE TikTok is doing very well,” Bruce compliments as if Tim hadn’t opened his mouth. “We should have started one much sooner.”

“I love the one you’re in. Wes, the one where you talk about the American public school experience,” Duke says, rubbing at his temple. Which is unhelpful because Wes directly made fun of Bruce Wayne in that one. “Sorry about the maybe trauma it inflicted.”

He winces, “I mean, it was fine. We were in a safe room the whole time. It genuinely was like the average American high school experience.” He cuts a concerned look at Bruce. The guy who literally can fire his mom and also rip out his kneecaps if he decides to take offense to something dumb Wes says. He just can’t help it—he’s an Amity Park teenager!

Bruce notices and laughs, “Now, now, none of that! I think it’s great that you raised awareness about school shootings. I’m very aware of my privilege, and I don’t have any hard feelings about it being called out.”

“That’s… good.” 

Tim nudges him from under the table with his foot. When Wes looks at him, he’s smiling. Wes’s stomach twists. It’s not an unpleasant feeling. 

Damian sniffs, “Well, nothing will compare to the appearances of Bat-Cow, Titus, Alfred the Cat, and Haley.”

“Everyone will love them,” Wes agrees. “People go crazy for animals.” 

“They would be wrong not to.”

“Wes, not to be rude, but are you from Gotham?” Duke asks. He squints from behind his tinted glasses. “You don’t have a Gothamite accent.”

“That’s not rude at all.” Wes racks his brain for reasons why the meta vigilante might look constipated whenever he looks at him. Is it an Amity Park thing? The Signal’s power set isn't 100% known—the only things confirmed by witness accounts are light and shadow manipulation. Is the electromagnetic radiation spectrum that Duke can see wider than a baseline human’s, thus allowing him to see more visible light? Can Duke see auras? Can he see ectoplasmic radiation? Can he see that radiation in Wes? 

He needs to be careful about what he says. “I’m from Amity Park, Illinois. So is my mom. But she and my dad divorced a few years ago and now I visit Gotham every other holiday and every summer.” 

“Oh damn, that sucks, dude.”

“Nah, it’s fine. They were super chill about it.” They had an amicable divorce. Wanted different things. His parents still text semi-regularly, and they will usually steal Wes’s phone for a few minutes when he’s talking to the other. They might still be together if his mom hadn’t wanted to move up in her career and his dad hadn’t been firm on staying in Amity, or if they’d both been okay with long distance. 

Still… it would be nice to be a complete family, again. Together and whole. Preferably in an Amity Park not infested with white suits or ectophobic ghost hunters. 

Ugh. He really needs to call his dad after work tomorrow. Maybe his cousin, too.

Dinner goes smoothly from there, and after, Tim drags Wes to the movie room to watch Lord of the Ring: Fellowship of the Ring before turning into bed. When the credits roll, he asks, “Are you cool with just staying in my room, or do you wanna stay in the guest room?”

Honestly, what kind of rich people shit is that question? (Ignoring that his mom owns a townhouse in Gotham City and is the director of Wayne Enterprises’s PR Department. He had humble beginnings!)

“Your room is fine,” Wes says. 

“You… just wanna share the bed?” 

Wes had seen Tim’s bedroom in the tour already. He had a California king sized bed. Sleeping in a bed that size would be just the same as sleeping in separate sleeping bags on the floor in terms of intimacy. 

“Yeah, that’s fine, dude.” 

Fast forward to them actually in pajamas and actually under blankets and actually turning off their phones for the night, and Wes is learning that it’s actually not fine. 

He’s hyper-aware of Tim’s form beneath the blankets, the same blankets Wes is under. And sure, they are on separate ends of the bed, nearly three feet between them, but still. 

He’s slept in the same bed as a few friends before, but that had stopped around middle school, when it was suddenly gay for guys to do that. Wes is secure in his sexuality, sure, but he was still in a small Midwestern town at the time, so he hadn’t exactly wanted to do anything to confirm any queerness about him. 

Tim, on the other hand, has been publicly bisexual for a while now. And he wasn’t in the room with Wes when he’d gotten his fitting and made his request that his suit reflect his sexuality, so he didn’t know that Wes was any flavor of MLM. (He’d been too insecure about his lanky basketball player frame to let a superhero overhear his measurements.) 

Is it weird that Wes knows Tim’s sexuality but Tim doesn’t know his while they share a bed? Is it creepy? Is it wrong? Should Wes say something? Or would it be even creepier to come out while in Tim’s bed? Fuck, is it hot in here?

He kicks a leg out from under the covers, allowing it to be exposed to cool air. It’s completely dark in the room, but he stares at where his foot should be. Should he have worn socks to make it not gay? Is it gay at all? What even is “it” at this point, anyway?

He forces a deep breath. This is probably not weird. It probably would be weird if he did decide to come out while sharing a bed with his friend, who is a queer vigilante and his boss and could have his adoptive father rip out Wes’s spine if he so wished. 

Right. So Wes needs to chill the fuck out and think of literally anything else. 

His first thought is unfortunately that time he fell off the monkey bars in the first grade and landed on top of Paulina Sanchez, who had cried and hated him until sixth grade for it. 

Even worse, his second thought is of his parents’ divorce, and he wants to slap himself. But he can’t do that when there’s a maybe-sleeping-maybe-not body next to him, so instead he takes another deep, quiet breath.

He thinks of Duke Thomas and the way he squinted at Wes. Right, light and shadow manipulation. But to what extent? The way he reacted to Wes might suggest he can see more than a regular human’s visible light spectrum. (More colors, like a shrimp?) If he can see ecto-radiation, then he can see that there’s something off about Wes, who has lived in Amity since the portal’s opening nearly a year ago. The average Amity Parker has a little ecto-contamination in them, but Wes’s may be higher thanks to his stalking of Team Phantom. 

So Duke might know that he’s a little irradiated. Not a big deal, Amity’s a small town. There’s no reason to assume that Duke will meet other Amity Parkers and start to ask questions. 

But what would happen if the Guys In White decide to outsource help and they decide that someone who can see more forms of light would be beneficial to the cause? 

….Fuck. He was supposed to calm himself down, not work himself up.

Wes settles in for a long night. 

xxXxx

Taglist: @theamazingfox

@theamazingfox @quietlyscared @lumosfeather18581   @blankliferain @amercurio @gin2212 @starscreamlover @hoarder-of-gender @the-ghost-trader @iariinay @ectoplasm024 @theblackcatscratchpost @chaos-n-kindness @overtherose @roseinbloom02 @jaguarthecat @i23432i

If you want to be added to the Tag List, just ask in the replies! 

Ao3 is updated first BUT I upload onto Tumblr 10-30 minutes after uploading on Ao3, so don’t worry about missing out on early content or anything. Everything is updated within the hour :)

[xnoctifers-eveningx]

Death Work: Animal Remains

In my practice, I use remains, mainly animal bones, to connect with spirits, connect with Death, and in magical workings. Just recently, I’ve taken 3 more animals under my wing, and I thought it would be nice to detail my process of finding, handling, and working with remains as I actually initiate that process. Beginning first with finding remains and initial contact. As a death worker, I strive to honor the deceased and aid them in their transition, as well as bond with Death and use death and decay in magical practices. I have been doing spirit work for as long as I can remember and have begun learning under a few entities how to properly assist and tend to The Dead. As such this is not a “how-to”, just me sharing my beliefs but I’m open to questions and discussion :)

Finding Remains

If setting out with the intention of finding remains, it’s important to be prepared. It’s not a fun experience finding something and not being able to take it then, only to come back and it’s gone. Nor is it a good idea to grab things barehanded. I always have a bag with me packed with disposable gloves, trash bags/old shopping bags, and a mask (death reeks!). And if you don’t end up finding anything you can pick up any trash you come across !! I also make sure to bring offerings so I can leave them where I find remains, as well as personal ritual items used in funerary rituals. A hagstone has also always seemed to bring me luck on my searches :)

Where animals live, animals will die. Forests, wooded areas, creeks, wetlands, large areas without much human activity. You typically won’t find much in areas with heavy foot traffic or human presence. It’s good to find areas with lots of game trials, typically I find remains a little bit off from them. If the area has a lot of deadfall, fallen leaves, or snow, it’ll be a lot harder to spot remains. I’ve also had a lot of luck finding small bones and fossils on the banks of rivers, ponds, and lakes. Be wary of fresh or actively decaying corpses, there is a lot of bacteria and the animal itself can be carrying diseases. Always use protective gear when handling remains until they are completely sanitized.

Code of Conduct

While everyone holds varying ethical and moral beliefs, there are a few important issues I believe people should be aware of.

It's important to try you're best to not disturb other animals while searching. Respect the living as well as the dead. Personally, I don't hunt or otherwise intentionally kill animals but I understand the use. However, I do believe that the whole animal should be put to use and not left to waste. In death work, more often finding animals dead than not, this translates as never taking things that animals/bugs could eat or that you will not use. Nothing should be thrown away in the trash, I believe it is really disrespectful to chuck something like that into a garbage bag when leaving it outside would require minimally more effort. The nutrients of every organism deserve to go back to the soil.

Laws

Many places have laws that protect certain species. For example, the remains of native birds are usually legally protected in the US. Many endangered and at-risk animals are also protected. Even retrieving roadkill is illegal in some places! However, many places fail to impose proper protections on many animals that desperately need it. Always do your research on your local laws and the status of species in your area. Do not trophy hunt irl or online!

Sourcing

I haven't ever bought remains and don't plan to any time soon. I believe that if I'm meant to find it, it'll find me one way or another. Purchasing remains can be fine and ethical, but there are many situations in which it is not. A lot of remains, especially bones and furs, are not ethically sourced. Meaning mass farming, mass trapping, poaching, and cruel killing methods. It's important to know how remains were sourced, especially if one intends to bond with the spirit. Foxes, reptiles, cats, dogs, and skulls (in general) can be easily found on sites like Etsy, The Bone Room (avoid this site!!), and many real-life oddity expos where they 100000% source remains in either illegal or highly unethical ways. If a site sells illegal or endangered animals (bats, wolves, native birds, etc), cheap animals in bulk, or human remains then it is probably best to steer clear! Some Etsy shops will even title their listings as things like “man’s best friend” to try to get around the legality of selling dog remains among other species.

Initial Contact

After first finding remains I intend to collect, I introduce myself and state my intentions. I then leave offerings and ask to relocate/remove their remains. I approach this in a sorrowful, empathetic manner until giving them a burial and cleaning the remains.

I feel it's very important to ask the spirit before doing anything with the remains. However, if it's roadkill or in a vulnerable area with lots of people, then it's more respectful to relocate it to a quieter place. After doing spirit work for a while, instead of verbally asking and then divining, it’s more of a vibe check for me. When asking a spirit to take their remains, you should state your intentions whether that be art, bonding with them, or magical workings. I do not believe that the shade of an individual is permanently attached to its remains, nor do I believe that the shade is trapped wherever its remains are. However, I also believe that every being should have the opportunity to rest undisturbed if it so pleases. If a spirit truly does not want you fucking with its remains, I believe it will let you know through nightmares, bad luck, illness, and reoccurring thoughts of guilt among other things. You should be willing to leave the decreased alone if it comes to that, but in my experience, there have been few times in which a spirit is both still “connected” to its remains and dislikes the idea of me possessing them. I reckon that animals hold little use to their physical remains after passing, dissimilar to humans who tend to still want autonomy. There have, however, been times when I’ve forgotten about remains (either waiting to be processed in bags or actively processing in a bucket) and get a wave of guilt and think “oh fuck I should pull the deer out of the tub.”

I believe it is very important to leave offerings for The Dead, especially if you are disturbing their remains. Offerings act as both an honoring act for the deceased and payment for the remains. Offerings left out in nature should always be biodegradable and should not be anything that could harm any creature that comes across it. Typically, I make small bundle-type offerings from rocks, shells, plants, and sticks. They can also be food/drink (that is commonly safe for the deceased animal you are offering to), written poetry, or drawn art (on safe paper with graphite).

In addition, I always promise The Dead a burial. A burial does not have to be a grave 6 feet deep, but in some fashion, a piece of the deceased should be given a quiet and safe resting place away from humans. Even if the shade isn’t “contained” in the remains, I hold the belief that it can act as a tether for a part of the soul (hence using remains for spirit communication), and the individual should have the option to rest in a quiet place rather than sitting on a shelf. A burial also ensures that the nutrients contained in the remains are given back to the Earth. Life is a gift that must be returned to where it came from for the cycle to continue – thou art dust and to dust thou shalt return. Along this line of thought, no part of a being should be wasted. Meaning returning unused skin, fur/feathers, bones/fragments, guts, and anything you have no use for. Even with water maceration, the nutrients in the water can be returned to the soil and eaten by bugs. The location of the burial should be somewhere in nature, away from human activity and off footpaths. They don't necessarily need to be buried, they could be placed in high grass or in thickets. Scavengers, bugs, and fungi will take it from there. Death and decay remain important aspects of nature that continue to nurture other critters and the soil itself.

Cleaning Remains

Cleaning is a devotional act really. I won’t go into the actual cleaning process here because it’s long and varied, but another time maybe (I mainly use water maceration). During cleaning, I follow several rules to ensure respect for the deceased. Most importantly, I don’t treat remains as a toy or something to gawk at. At one point, these were living individuals and my respect for them doesn’t stop as soon as their heart stops pumping. The remains are cleaned thoroughly and well taken care of to prevent damage. I make an effort to never mix bones from different individuals to maintain a level of autonomy and the practical reason of being able to keep track of who's who. With displaying, I try to give everything its own space. My twin fish are kept together in a jar (they r in luv) that serves as their spirit home, sometimes I will set offerings or candles beside it. TOO, I find it important to spend time with the remains if one aims to form a relationship with the spirits. Just a few days ago I took a few armadillo bones out with me for a walk in the rain, which may sound a little crazy to some but I can only hope that I can feel the rain and hear the thunder after I've passed.

The cleaning process is a long and hard one, it's a good time to bond with the remains. As you hold them in your hands, feel every inch of it. Feel the grooves, the textures, the weight, the temperature. Does it feel cold and hollow? Does it feel like a pit is forming in your stomach? Does it feel like a bright light is radiating off it? Do any memories, thoughts, or emotions arise? It is a good way to get to know the spirit/energy of the remains.

Working with Remains

I don't work with the spirit of every bone I find. That would be very difficult, and many don't have spirits attached to them much anymore. Remains can be used in magic, divination, offerings, and art. If I'm using remains as ritual tools, I will first bond with them, consecrate, and then continuously feed them. Just some of the ways remains can be used in death work and magic;

Connecting with Death

Connecting with the individual spirit or species archetype

Conjuring The Dead: I find that bones can be excellent wands used to call upon spirits. They can be really good tools for directing energy, especially for the earthly deceased.

Offerings to Chthonic / death associated entities: many of the bones I have, I've put on my altars for Hades, Hekate, and Lucifer. Not only because they represent death and are aesthetically fitting, but to place the deceased under the protection of those entities.

Bindings: I believe a hollow bone could be used for a good binding by placing taglocks and ritual ingredients into the hollowed center and sealing it up tight. Bones are strong and hard to break, whatever you put in them will have a hard time finding their way out. They take a very long time to decay, so if you buried it after binding someone, I reckon they'd be there for a long time. Bones are a physical representation of death so there could also be an opportunity for some nasty effects.

Spirit vessels: in a similar line of thought as bindings, bones are excellent for containing or homing spirits. Typically these are entities associated with the species the remains belong to.

Ritual tools and instruments: bone athames, wands, offering dishes, flutes, whistles, drums, containers, osteomancy sets, the list goes on.

Additionally, specific parts can represent certain things and can be useful in certain workings.

Teeth: teeth from predators/carnivores represent power, defense, and protection. They are well suited for protection talismans, wards, and asserting dominance over others.

Claws: similar to teeth, claws can be used as strong protection charms.

Skulls: I would say the skull is the defining bone of an individual. The seat of the mind, consciousness, and all perception. Skulls can be used to bond with spirits or keep away spirits, similar to how a jack-o-lantern works.

Rabbit feet: rabbit feet are popularly considered lucky charms. You can also use them to help you navigate situations quickly and bring about fertility and abundance.

Chicken feet: chicken feet are commonly turned into protective amulets. They usually have long, sharp claws perfect for scratching back at anyone who tries to harm you.

Tongues/eyes/ears/brains: these structures supply us with our sensory perception and are vital parts of most species. They can be used to draw upon psychic abilities (eyes for clairvoyance or visions, brains for claircognizance). They can also be used to dampen the senses, such as tying, binding, or pinning a tongue to shut someone up.

Heart: often used to represent emotions like love. Can be used in love spells or to hurt someone emotionally.

Liver: a common form of divination in the ancient world was to slaughter an animal and then interpret patterns and markings on its liver. This is actually something I find fascinating, look into Mesopotamian liver divination and hepatoscopy!!

Shed skin: shed skin from snakes, reptiles, and bugs can be used to represent change, renewal, enlightenment, and letting go by "shedding your old skin".

Antlers: antlers often represent strength and power as animals will use them to fight with each other and assert their dominance over their territory. Small ones could be fastened to bags and be used as protective charms. They can also be made into wands or protective pendants.

Shells: I've always associated shells with protection since that is their purpose. I often use a powder made from ground shells to pour along the edges of rooms or windowsills.

Scapula: Interestingly, used in many belief systems and cultures for divination. Scapulimancy is the divinatory use of scapulae by interpreting post-mortem markings, or markings/cracks on the bone made by holding it over a flame. Another divinatory use found in old necromantic manuals, specifically the Munich Manual, is using the scapula as a scrying mirror by anointing it with magical oils and conjuring spirits in the reflection.

Turtle plastron: used alongside scapulae in Chinese divination, the querent would paint or carve their question into the bone, drill evenly spaced holes, and then hold it over a flame and interpret the cracks or burn marks.

[pretty-little-whorror]

kinktober - public space

ash williams x reader

wc: 3190

a/n: for the four evil dead enjoyers on this site. i promise if i was less employed i would post daily for this like the lord intended.

tags: semi-public sex, fem reader, fingering, p in v sex, safe/protected sex, work sex, fucking your coworkers, ash williams, ash williams and his cheesy ass one liners, and his cheesy ass nicknames, that’s it maybe but i’m tired of looking at this, also not like 100% proofread, like 83%

Ash Williams had been put against his fair share of unpleasantries. Having to kill his sister, dismember his girlfriend, get sent back in time and go toe to toe against evil incarnate. Throughout all that, he still stands by that working retail can easily be just as bad - if not worse - than all that. Ash had been at S-Mart longer than he had ever intended and dealt with more customer bullshit than one could imagine. However, he did manage to enjoy his time there in his own Ash-y way while he was there, meaning knocking boots with any coworker that he could talk his way into the pants of.

With most it was a one and done situation. Most employees stay new before they eventually leave. To Ash, this was the perfect situation - left no time for awkward talking after he had gotten done what he needed. His most recent example had been with Jenny from Arts and Crafts. A red headed hardbody that had stayed at S-Mart maybe three months. As her last two weeks wrapped up, yours began.

The Arts and Crafts department was mostly women, so word about who exactly Ash Williams was got around to you quick. Most of the talk was about his serial womanizing, however a few strange rumours of beheadings and murder were weaved in and out during a handful of gossip sessions between you and your colleagues. You chalked them up to a bad game of telephone given how out of pocket they seemed.

Eventually, you had your first run-in with Ash, and it went as expected. You managed to keep a professional smile and move on after each encounter, however that was not without acknowledging that you couldn’t blame any of the other girls for falling for his routine. He was far from unattractive and his charming demeanor did nothing to repel you. Regardless, you were determined to hold your own.

Your resistance had come as a surprise to Ash, who believes he’s God’s gift to women. However he was never one to back down from a challenge. The harder the hunt the bigger the trophy. Months of passive aggressive flirting and innuendoed bickering had only made him more determined. He had used whatever brain he had to find different ways to push your buttons without an immediate trip to HR. It would usually result with you giving him a playful eye roll before you continued back to whatever you had been doing. Today was no different of an example, but as you found yourself pinned up against a wall in the stock room, whatever exactly had finally gotten you where he wanted had slipped your mind.

This close, Ash’s cheap aftershave was almost intoxicating compared to its normal warning of obnoxious behavior to come. As your tongues pushed against one another, you could taste remnants of the mint gum he had just spit out.

His left hand made quick work to take off the ill fitting uniform as his metal one held you up against the wall. Your fingers made quick work of his own blue work shirt, pushing the fabric off his shoulders, leaving him in a white undershirt.

“Someone’s a little anxious, huh?” He words teased into your ear as his calloused hand snaked its up your back to unclasp your bra.

“If that’s such a problem, I’m more than okay to stop” Your hands dropped from his shoulders as you spoke, looking up at him. He moved his hand back up and grabbed your chin with a chuckle.

“Oh baby, I’ve got you just where I want.” His hot breath tickled against the side of your neck. “I’d be an idiot to let you get away now.” He brought your face up to his with a rough kiss, his hand dropping from your face to finish discarding your bra. He pushed his tongue into your mouth with a groan as he fondled your breast. His thumb rolling gently over your hardened nipple. You sighed into his kiss as he continued to play with your tit. He broke the kiss to look down at your chest, a string of saliva still connecting your mouth the his.


“Fuck sugar, you’ve got the prettiest tits I’ve ever seen.” He continued his ministrations as he used his other arm to raise you up, your legs now straddling his waist opposed to your hips. He quickly moved his face down to your chest, peppering nips over your other breast as his hand continued to roughly knead the other.

“Now we can’t let her sister have all the fun” He winked up at you before latching his mouth onto your nipple. You gasped at the action, the sensation of one hand rolling the hardened bud between his fingers and his mouth sucking and biting on the other causing your eyes to shut.

Ash reveled in your reaction, you could feel him chuckle against your skin as he continued. Your hand went to his head, fingers weaving through his black hair. He gave your tit one final, playful bite before his mouth went back to yours. His hand snaked down to your backside, giving your ass a quick squeeze before he set you down, his lips never leaving yours.

He made quick work of his belt, tossing it to the floor as he finished shrugging off his shirt. As soon as you heard the cloth hit the floor, his hands were on you again, discarding your pants into the growing pile of garments to the side of you. In a moment, he had you up again, straddling his waist. His mouth quickly found its way to your neck, nipping and sucking dark spots into your flesh. You sighed and lolled your head to the side, allowing him further access.

“Baby…” He whispered, his hot breath centimeters away from your ear. “Can you grab my wallet, hm?”

You giggled at the request and rolled your eyes. Understanding the request your arm snaked around to his back, snatching the wallet from his back pocket.

“Well forgive me for bothering princess,” he teased. “My hands are otherwise occupied”

“Hand” you corrected with a playful grin. In response, you felt his metal appendage pinch your ass. You gasped and slapped his arm as his mouth went back to your neck.

“That hurt, jackass!” You scolded as you felt his mouth curl into a smile against your skin.

“Well,” He raised his face back up to yours. He quickly closed the distance between you and brought your lips together. You felt his left hand sneak under the hem of your panties, slowly sneaking up to your core. “If that’s such a problem…”

You sighed as his fingers ghosted over your entrance, picking up your slick on his fingertips, at the same time, his thumb pressed against your swollen clit.

“…I’m more than okay to stop.” He pushed his index finger into your cunt as he repeated your earlier threat. You let out a breathy moan as he pushed his finger in to the knuckle.

“But I’m pretty sure you don’t want that” His voice was low in your ear. Your eyes shut as his middle finger joined the other.

“Fuck…” You murmured as his fingers worked to stretch you out.

“Shit, baby…” He breathed out as he began to curl his fingers against your walls, his thumb beginning to work small circles on your clit. “You’re so fucking wet for me, aren’t ya”

You bit your lip and nodded, your breath getting caught in your throat. Ash chuckled and shook his head.

“I think I want you to say it, baby” His mouth returned to your neck as the pace of his fingers became rougher. You didn’t speak, groaning in response instead, partially annoyed but mostly too lost in the feeling of his fingers inside you to care. You felt him like up a third finger outside your entrance and you arched your back towards him out of instinct.

“You gotta say it first, sugar, gotta tell me whose got you all hot and bothered”

You whined and opened your eyes, pleading up at him. “You, Ash. You….please” you rutted yourself against his hand as you spoke. He looked down at you with lust blown eyes.

“Good girl,” He whispered into your ear as his pushed in a third digit. You moaned at the feeling, his fingers immediately working on curling against that one, perfect spot and working with the pressured movements of his thumb against your clit. You felt the familiar building pressure in your belly as his hand worked to bring you to your climax.

“Now, how about you finish fetching that love glove out, hm?” You sighed. Your shaky hand meeting your other that held his wallet. You looked down, fingering through cards and cash until you pulled out the golden foil. You quickly dropped the leather wallet to the ground to join the other discarded garments.

“Ash…” You let out a whine as he withdrew his fingers to grab the condom. You looked up at him and pouted. He chuckled, glowing in the fact he’s taken your bratty demeanor away and replaced it with desperate begging.

“Oh, just give me a minute, doll face.” He winked as he undid his fly, pulling his pants down enough to allow his hardened dick out of its confines. You were, well you didn’t want to say impressed, but surprised he had the anatomy to match his attitude. You must have been taking a moment too long to look as Ash whistled to get you attention.

“My eyes are up here, sugar pot.” You rolled your own as he went to get the condom out of its wrapper. Before he would tear the foil, you snatched it out of his hand. Deciding to make a show of it, you tore the gold wrapper with you teeth while another hand began to stroke his member. Rolling the leaking beads of precum down his shaft with feathered strokes. You pulled the condom from the wrapper entirely and slowly rolled it down his cock.

“Atta girl,” Ash’s head tilted back with a sigh, he once again brought your lips down to his for a sloppy kiss. You gave him a few more lazy strokes before he adjusted how he held you against the wall in order to line himself up with your entrance. You breathe out a sigh l as the fat bulge of his head finds your swollen, wet hole. Out of instinct, arch into him, desperate him to satisfy your clenching body.

His lips reunite with the side of neck with an amused chuckle. “You’re so needy, hm?” He teased between peppered kissed towards the crook of your neck, teasingly pushing himself against your entrance.

His metal hand gripped your hips firmly as he pushed you down onto his achingly hard cock. Your eyes slammed shut with a carnal moan as he fully sheathed himself inside of you.

“You stretch so good for me, baby” He groans as he revels in the feeling of your sex enveloping his, your soft walls like a perfect fitting glove. You roll your hips against his, drunk on the euphoria of him buried inside to the hilt.

“Fuck, Ash-“ Your head falls back, hitting the wall behind you with a thud. He drags his cock from inside you before coaxing himself back in. You whine, working your best to sink as far down as possible in tandem with his movements.

His pace starts sultry; fucking you deeply and purposefully, his thumb resting on top of your thigh as he brought you down on him until you could feel his pubes tickle against your lower belly.

Your hands found their place, one flush against his chest and the other grabbing into his shoulder; promising crescent shaped bruises to form in the following hours from where your nails dug into his flesh.

He adjusts his hold on your hips as he picks up his pace, bouncing you on his cock. “Can’t believe I can finally fuck you.” He purred in your ear, his breath hot against the shell of your ear. His left hand moves between you, his thumb dancing over your clit andhis fingers circling where he pushed into you, getting it coated with the cocktail of your wetness and his precum that dripped out of you.

His hand then raised to the underside of your chin; his thumb lifting your head as his fingers prodded against your languidly parted lips. You further opened your mouth, allowing for the gentle intrusion. Your tongue swirled around the digits as you looked up through hooded lashes into his eyes. Making a show of cleaning off his calloused fingers. If Ash had an ounce less of self control he could have finished then and there.

He instead chuckled, his stare fixated on your mouth as you sucked his fingers. “Look at you, getting all filthy for me , hm?” His pace transformed into rough and desperate thrusts, his swollen head kissing your cervix. He withdrew his fingers from your mouth, his hand meeting his other at your hips, changing the angle he pounded into you just enough for him to be fucking directly into your sweet spot. An aching moan escaped your mouth at the change; allowing anyone who was close enough an exact idea of the wanton situation you were in.

“You sound so fucking hot for me baby, but the last thing I want right now is for someone to take this pussy away from me.” Normally, your response would be to chide him for pointing out the obvious accompanied by an eye roll. However, you just bit down on your reddened bottom lip and nodded, arching down on him further, desperate for him to fuck an orgasm out of you.

Ash's thrusts became rough and desperate, his length hitting your cervix with each powerful stroke. The change in angle caused an electric surge of pleasure to shoot through your body, your stifled moans threatening an exposing volume.

His rough and quickened pace only added fuel to the fire, you could feel the intensity building, your body desperately responding to his every movement in an attempt to bring your orgasm on quicker.

You clenched around him, your walls pulsating with need as you arched your back, meeting his thrusts with fervor. The overwhelming sensations coursing through you pushed you closer to the edge.

With each unrestrained thrust, you felt the pleasure intensify, the tension coiling within you like a tightly wound spring. Your moans threatened to grow louder as you did your best to stay quiet-biting down on your lower lip hard enough to draw blood as your head lolled aside, allowing him access to return his mouth to your neck. He callously nipped and sucked at the reddened skin as your nails dug into his skin as you desperately sought release.

As the pleasure reached its peak, you let out a guttural cry, your body convulsing in the throes of your orgasm. Waves of ecstasy washed crassly over you, leaving you breathless and completely consumed by the sensation.

Ash continued to pound into you, fucking you through as you were thrown into rapture. He felt the familiar burning of his own orgasm approaching. His final thrusts were rough and desperate as he finally came, burying himself deep inside you.

As the waves of pleasure subsided, his lips trailed back to yours, taking one last opportunity to taste you.

“You think you’re okay to stand, sweet cheeks?” He asked, his voice soft as his hand trailed down to your ass, gently kneading the soft flesh as he spoke. With a nodded response from you, he slowly pulled out from you. Out of instinct, you whined at the sudden empty feeling, still drunk on the sensation of his cock stuffed into you. He chuckled at your mewl.

“Don’t worry sugar, as soon as I can fuck that tight pretty pussy of yours again, I will. That’s an Ash Williams guarantee. ” He patted your ass and you unwrapped your legs from his waist, placing a foot on the cool ground. You almost fell to the floor as you attempted to put your weight on it. Ash’s metal hand still on your waist, he was able to keep you from falling completely. He smiled, relishing the fact he had fucked you good enough you couldn’t walk.

Knowing exactly what had made his lips curl into such a shit-eating grin, you flicked your eyes up.

“Don’t flatter yourself,” You bent down to pick up your long discarded clothes, the cool metal of his hand still on your waist. “They just fell asleep is all.”

“Whatever you say, baby” He winked, turning his attention to disposing of the used rubber, rolling it off his softened cock; careful not to make a mess. He found some garbage to toss it in and pulled his pants back up over his crotch. You cringed at the thought of whoever had to take out that trash later tonight.

“What time are you out tonight?”

The question came as a surprise to you. You raised a brow as you worked to put your pants back on.

“Six…” You responded, unsure of the intent of his question. He wasn’t gonna wine and dine you - or whatever the Ash equivalent is that was - certainly. You had never heard any report of him attempting anything along the lines of that with anyone before. “What time is it anyway?”

He turned his wrist over, looking at the watch face. “Ten after.”

“Oh,” You raised your brows, surprised you had been…occupied, long enough to round out your shift.

“You?”

“I’m out at eight.”

“Oh, well okay”

The dialogue was shallow as you finished reassembling your work clothes.

You turned to him; “Why..?”

Ash looked at you with a cheeky grin, raising his eyes from his watch just enough to look up and meet your eyes.

"We should grab some drinks after work, have a bit of fun. I'll buy, I'm feeling generous tonight."

“And here I’ve been told chivalry is dead” Your put your shirt back over your head in time with the sarcastic response.

"I promise you, my intentions are anything but chivalrous when I tell you I'll be paying." He said with a grin and tacky wink. You decided to roll your eyes playfully opposed to wasting your words.

"I can take that as a maybe?" Ash asked. "Don't disappoint me, darlin'."

“Yeah yeah fine, whatever. Where?” You folded your arms across your chest, waiting for his reply.

"The Elk, we can sit at the bar, talk all flirty like." Ash said suggestively. "Nothing better than a bottle of whiskey on the table and a pretty lady beside it."

“Just pick me up after your shift, yeah?”

"After my shift," He confirmed with a smirk. "But just so I know, that's a yes then?"

“Deduce that one yourself, jackass.” You walked away with a smirk, not sure if volunteering more of your time with Ash would pan out in your favor.

[rendy-a]

If your interested i would like to request a self aware au where the player instead of possesses Ramshackle instead of Yuu

My first thought is that I don’t understand this request.  Possess the actual building of Ramshackle?  Then I thought it might actually be funny if the Player were stuck in the building Encanto-style.  Feel free to drop in a new request if this isn’t what you were looking for.  Until then, enjoy this silly idea.

The Dorm Magical

All the characters in Twisted Wonderland had an innate sense for when they were being observed by the Player.  It was a feeling so sublime that it was the only thing a character craved.  One day, they stopped receiving that feeling as they did lessons, went about the storyline and even engaged in event stories.  These were all the Player’s favorite times to grace them with their notice!  It was deeply disturbing to them (could you have quit playing the game?) until they noticed that feeling again within the walls of Ramshackle Dorm.  Now this unique dorm isn’t just the home to the odd students Grim and Yuu but also the only place left on campus to experience the notice of the Player. 

Nothing matters anymore unless you can do it in Ramshackle or take it to Ramshackle.  Riddle brings every perfect-scored test to casually hold up to the walls, hoping you’ll take notice.  A suspicious number of movies being filmed by the Film Club seem to use old houses as a setting.  If any odd floorboard squeaks or movements of doors happen, all the club members merely clap and declare that the Player is so good at ad-libbing. 

Epel bursts into the lounge of Ramshackle and Grim nearly chokes on a bite of tuna.  “Nya!  What’s the big idea barging in here like that?” he asks between coughs.  Epel holds up a spelldrive trophy enthusiastically, “We won the tournament!”  Yuu smiles at him indulgently, “Great job.”  Epel shoots him a puzzled look as though to say, ‘Why are you talking to me?’  Then he turns about the room, holding the trophy aloft until a beam of sunlight from a window seems to shift and hit the trophy perfectly.  Epel grins as though the Player had personally awarded him that trophy.  “Awe, shucks!” he beams while grinning like a fool.  Then, he suddenly seems to recollect somewhere he needs to be.  “I…I should probably get this trophy back now before Leona notices its missing.  See you later Player!”  He makes awkward eye contact with Grim, “and…I guess Yuu and Grim too…”

It’s not just students, so many classes seem to be held in Ramshackle dorm.  The same students that used to try to sweet talk teachers into holding class outside on sunny days are now suggesting they can concentrate so much better in the quiet Ramshackle dorm.  Staff are surprisingly fast to agree.  There is now a sign-up sheet in the faculty lounge to reserve a Ramshackle day.

“Turn to page 101 in your textbooks.  Today we are covering proper methods of distilling potions,” Crewel begins his lecture.  A hand raises, “Professor, couldn’t we learn this better in Ramshackle?”  Crewel lets out a long-suffering sigh, “There aren’t even potion making facilities in that dorm.”  Another hand raises, “But Trein got to have history there twice this week already.”  Crewel pauses for a moment considering that petty argument.  “Screw it,” he finally replies in an arrogant tone, “Grab your things.  We are moving this class to the kitchen of Ramshackle.”  A cheer erupts from the masses.

Rules had to be made preventing transfer to Ramshackle.  Crowly is very firm on this; if he can’t live there, no one else can either!  The few times in the main story where people stay over are the highlight of those student’s year.

Vil slides his hand gently down the banister of the staircase as he descends and lets out a satisfied sigh.  “Stop stroking my house,” Yuu retorts in an annoyed tone. “For the duration of the VDC training camp, it’s our house,” and continues to lightly run his fingertips along the wallpaper with a dreamy smile.

The guest room is the most coveted invitation on campus.  Students would gladly jump over any number of couches and tables for the honor of being trapped in the corner of the Ramshackle guest room.  Even Riddle is happy to cut class, dress up in his Halloween costume and stand idly by. 

Deep in the corner of the room, Sebek stands on two small squares of open space.  He paces a single step backwards and forwards.  He’s been trapped there for at least an hour, yet he still sounds at the peak of happiness as he exclaims, “THIS DECORATION REMINDS ME OF THE THORN FAIRY HERSELF!  WHAT A MAGNIFICENTLY APPOINTED ROOM!”  The door blows open slightly in a breeze and Sebek preens as though receiving an approving wave from the great Player themselves.  Ah, what a moment to be alive and trapped in a room.

[a-usernamelol]

Hi! I’m bored and spent way to much time on Allan’s ROR. Since there’s no real in game way to share an MCs ROR i’m going to do a FULL WALKTHROUGH of Allan’s ROR on here simply because I put hours into it and its environmental storytelling. REALLY CRAZY LONG POST I’M SORRY

A few things to keep in mind:

Allans RoR is almost a sentient being. It behaves like like it is alive

There is definate environmental storytelling throughout the ror. I was very deliberate in placement on everything. Down to the chairs.

Both of the rooms of Allans Ror have main centerpieces! Its mainly to take up visual space and give a feel of cluttered but intentional. I didn’t want there to be ANY visual space. Everything needed to be devided to pull off a few effects i do in his ror.

Also Each corner is organized by type of magic Allan uses! Potions in one corner, herbology in the next, the loom and clothing in the third, and what looks like a pile of bones and questionable magic in the last. (Lets be real, this is Allan. Its Dark Magic)

going to the right, you can see one of Those Statues tucked respectfully into an alcove. The walls by it are completely barren, a stark contrast to the entire rest of the RoR, which has every wall cluttered. Because of this visual difference- its actually kinda “uhg” feeling to be by irl bc its just THERE and it feels WRONG. It doesnt fit the aesthetic

also note: All of the knights and mannikins face the statue

This is true across the whole first room. Even in the hallway behind the vivarium, any knights or mannikins face the statue through the walls

going up the stairs into the hallway behind the entrance vivarium, youll see more oddly facing knights and a little dedication to Allan’s favorite quiddich team- in homage to Gilbert, because he himself doesn’t like Quiddich very much. He’ll cheer for his boyfriend though, even in a match against his own house, Gryffindor!

going around the curcuit towards the grasslands vivarium youll notice two sitting areas and a balcony. I also just really liked this ceiling because Allan loves beasts.

going to the left, into the side room, youll entire an equally visually cluttered hallway- however the main thing of note here are two large mirrors (and a number of small mirrors!) lined up across from each other. This is actually a really bad thing to do irl if your superstitous PLEASE DO NOT DO THAT AT HOME. It is thought that doing this with mirrors creates a “portal”- typically to hell, but generally in invitation to evil spirits. So yeah Allan’s either messing with bad magics or REALLY stupid. Or both.

now we enter the side room, which is divided visually into three seperate areas which we will be going over individually.

to the left, is a sitting area that looks like it might be used to hold guests- however compared to every other desk or area in the RoR, you can actually tell that it is barely used as most of the chairs are completely untouched, and still in logical, seated, positions (most notably with the chess table, and how all the chairs are seated across its corners as if for tea)

There are also four insignias on the wall, all insignias that can be found in the Korrow Ruins- of course something you wouldn’t know if you didn’t know the layout of the Korrow Ruins. But yk. I do 🚶‍♂️for reasons

I would also like to point out there is just a ton of dead things on the wall. For reasons

moving on, going to the left you can see a bunch of working desks, and a messy board of papers, likely for organization. Moving towards the center of the room, there looks to be a rest area with books. Probably for a break from whatever he works on on the desks and papers only across the room. There’s even a Hufflepuff Quidditch trophy thrown in the corner.

In the center of the room is a podium, telescope and some frogs. Since allan likes to move around, i dont think allan would always want to read sitting- or work sitting- as you can see with his desks

lastly, a more questionable research area filled with skulls and an iron maiden, things the can clearly be tied to the Dark Arts in the HL universe. The iron maiden is slightly hidden from view by a room divider, and bookcases seal it off from the guest area, as if to sensory seal it off. This area of study is meant to be separated- like he sees it as a separate field of work.

also note: that the chairs in this area are seriously shifted around, like he jumps from table to table. He clearly works here a LOT.

AND THAT CONCLUDES ALLAN’S ROR TOUR!!

Ive been working on this for months to tell a story- but I know I’m the only one who will get to definately experience it the way it was meant to be experienced, so I’ve tried to create an in depth post about it on here. If you lasted through my insane ramblings, Congratulations! 🎈🎊🍾🎉 If you want, make your own ROR walkthrough and reblog this and tag me! I’d LOVE to see other MCs ROR since we have no way to share it in game. Now go drink water please. 🗿 Thank you for reading!!!🥰

[gimmemore14]

Slade was at the circus the night Dick's parents died, instead of Bruce. Seeing Dick's potential, he ends up taking Dick in to train him. A Sladick AU.

I got WAY too into this idea, thanks for the ask!! 💜💜💜

The ask game

1. At first Slade just thought “tough break, kid”-no pun intended but there all the same- but then, he sticks around Gotham, mostly interested in the sloppy execution of the job he turned down. He had to roll his eyes, of course Zucco decided his own gang could handle it since Slade didn’t like his price. Slade was about to leave when he caught a look in the kid’s eye that broke through the anguish: murder, and the tenacity to follow through on the job.

2. He doesn’t adopt Dick, doesn’t have any interest to, but still, in secret he anonymously sponsors the kid in foster care for a couple of years, keeping close tabs on what he soon realizes is an investment.

3. Slade follows the teen as he investigates his parent’s murder, curious to see what the little bird will do now that he knows his target. He’s caught and beaten by low level thugs before he can ever get close. Even though he’s bloody, out numbered, and exhausted, the kid won’t stop. He’s worthy. Slade swoops in, rescues him, and takes him home to begin his training.

4. Dick is not impressed by Slade. Deathstroke kills without morality, he doesn’t care who deserves it and who doesn’t but dick does. Hell he even hates Slade for his work as a trophy hunter, the head on the wall could easily have been Zitka’s brother. Dick isn’t a killer, he doesn’t want to be, he just wants justice- revenge- for his parents and others. Slade knows this, and uses his rage and bleeding heart to manipulate and mold him into his weapon, his apprentice. The first time dick kills, it is trafficker assaulting the kid they were tasked with rescuing(for a large sum of money of course)… dick is unnerved when he has no troubles sleeping that night.

5. After years of manipulation and inappropriate bonding, Slade thought his creation was finally ready. He allowed dick to lead the hit on Zucco once the price was high enough, but after firing, after the body hit the floor, the kid realizes that on his path of revenge he’s become someone unrecognizable to his parents. Zucco’s death doesn’t take away the sting of his loss but has made him a monster instead. He would be ashamed to see them as he is now, after he let his love and grief corrupt him. (of course he doesn’t blame Slade, Dick Grayson’s got a guilt complex a mile wide, he didn’t need Batman’s help with that one. Also despite Slade’s manipulations he hammers in the idea that ultimately, every choice is your own)

Bonus cuz I’m into it now:

Dick has a ‘rebellious’ streak after killing Zucco and refuses to kill again. One night Slade thrashes him so bad after he purposely messes up a job that he finally realizes he needs to get away, for his own safety and mortality’s sake. He runs. He knows Slade will be after him soon, following the trail of blood he left from ripping the tracker out of his arm. Dick doesn’t have time, he doesn’t have options, so he calls out, screams, the one and only name that he knows can help.

Superman.

Clark hadn’t heard that kinda of desperation in a voice for awhile. He expected a massacre or train crash, not Deathstroke’s apprentice on a rooftop, shivering, bleeding, and on his knees begging to be turned in. Superman sees the terminator himself closing in on his apprentice before hesitating and hiding a few rooftops over after spying the superhero. It could be a trap, Clark thinks, but seeing the desperation and anguish in the beatendown boy’s face, he grabs the kid by the back of his uniform, like a misbehaving kitten, and flies off with him.

He doesn’t know where to take him at first so he settles for a grassy knoll far from civilization. They talk. Dick tells him everything, everything he’s held back all these years: how he hasn’t had a real family since his parents, how Slade’s affection is only earned through blood and degradation, and how he’s a killer but never wants to do it again. Clark tells him about Nightwing and takes him to the justice league where, yes he’s under supervision and locked up at night, but is treated with respect and taught to use escrima instead of twin blades and learns restraint and what it is to make the heroic choice. More importantly, he makes friends, people who actually care for him instead of just what he can do for them.

Slade during this deludes himself that Dick didn’t run away because he’s too well trained for that, and attempts to ‘rescue’ him. He’s so angry when he finds out dick made the decision himself, he holds a whole city hostage with Chemo until his apprentice is returned to him. The league refuses to negotiate with Deathstroke but Dick won’t allow any more deaths on his conscious so he slips away to beg for Slade’s mercy. Obviously there is none. Non-con smut that starts with dick desperate to be good enough to appease Slade and ends with the man blowing up the city anyways after he cums.

[precious-little-scoundrel]

Here to beg for smutty Gale and Maureen thoughts 🙏🏻🙏🏻 I love those two

Oh Nonnie, I’ve got a whole one shot charted out that i think you’ll enjoy immensely. Oh how I need time to write! However, let me give you this little backstory.

Our girl Maureen was sulking very hard over not being cool enough to be a pilot -those were the credentials as far as she could see- and having not applied herself very well to her arithmetic as a child, she was having some trouble even cutting it even as a bombardier. It was training, she went through a few crews, there were reshuffles, there were people getting nixed and people getting added and out of the fog came one pilot who actually had been at this longer than five seconds.

And he looked like that. He sounded like that. He took himself so seriously like that she wanted to bite him. And Maureen, I’m sorry to say, had been an excellent trophy hunter of men and exotic game only a few peacetime months ago and just because a war was on, she’d experienced no change of inclination.

She tried to buy him a drink. Got turned down. Allowed the petulance she felt for the whole situation to simmer over and fully had a little cry while he sat on the barstools begging her to understand it wasn’t her he was refusing but the liquor. She bought him a ginger ale instead.

And she called him by it every time after seeing how it made him squirm. Like a little boy getting his head pat for being ever so “good.” To Gale this was a pure mindfuck and one he was pretty sure came from him not yet adjusting to integrated life. Something about the way he lost all his bearings around her, admired things he used to hold in contempt when she exhibited them, and even ended up looking forward to a run in with her like some masochistic fool hopes he trips up and gets lashed for it.

When they start more training runs together, he ends up taking her far more seriously. He had to chew her out the first flight -in that horrible and measured way of his that’s so much worse than a yell- about her clumsiness. She cited her new bombsight as the issue, he called her an ignorant little wall flower without enough math skills. Maureen knew when not to cry, and this was one of those times so instead she just asked for help, and there’s nothing Gale Cleven is so susceptible to as the chance for helping people. Maureen also went back to her bunk after that dressing down and rubbed herself off furiously to the recollection of his intensity and the firmest hand she’d ever been shown.

By England they have become expected to be seen together, not in the way of Bucky and Buck or even Ida and Egan, but rather like Blakely and Douglass. Gale has somewhere along the way list count of the number of jeep rides he’s had to put her hands out of his lap and back in hers. That’s another thing he’s not sure how he allowed, technically he didn’t but she kept disobeying and he has dreams -actual dreams!- of taking her over his knee and dishing out a few smacks her father didn’t see fit to give that pert little ass in her flysuits.

He tells Bucky that once, thinking it a safe and generic thought. Bucky howls over it and places a bet on how soon Maureen’s hand stays in his lap and how soon Buck repays her with a handprint to her derrière.

All this while flying missions. It’s a bit fucked, and sometimes they admittedly both haven’t got much left for this nonesense, the skies take it out of them. Although Maureen would best like to combat those blues by having a man between her legs, and somehow, it feels moderately untrue to Gale to just hop on the next one even though she does from time to time. The way he seems either clueless or unsurprised by it is excruciating.

It makes her have a very venomously honest chat with him once when her courage is sufficiently liquified and he’s got no mission tomorrow. She asks if he loves Bucky instead and the man about swallows his tongue. “I’d understand-“ she’s very firm about it while Gale protests too much. The short of it is some admittance to not being in the market for girlfriends while fighting a war, the fact a kiss between them could get both court marshaled and well, yes, maybe what he needs he gets from his friendship with Bucky. He’s never been in love before and does she really expect him to suddenly learn to do it both ways?

She does. Even after telling him quite strongly that if her were to ask, Bucky would give that friendship to him “both ways”. Which is another topic to get court marshaled about and Gale says goodnight….After having let her chew on his earlobe an indefinite amount of time while she was suggesting this filth. He ends up back in the showers doing what used to be an occasional self care and is now and almost nightly occurrence.

And then. Egan is drunk, Candy is drunk, Biddick is drunk. One of them asks get to punched so they can feel something. One is reluctant as that’s a crazy ass thing to ask. The other is delighted at the opportunity to do so with no repercussions.

And that’s how Maureen badly hurts her hand on Bucky Egan’s face. While Egan goes to meet the new CO, a little knocked about and mildly dazed, Maureen gets hauled to the base hospital by Gale to get those busted knuckles sorted. It’s not a dire emergency, not even worthy of taking staff away from those who need it -this Maureen insists and maybe the staff agrees as after Cleven tells them he’s looking for gauze and antiseptic, they tell him it’s in the back room, have at it major.

And while back there, watching his intent little face cleaning her cuts and his voice gently berating her foolishness and also admiringly asking how she learned to punch like that -she tells him,

“Did you know I’m ambidextrous?”

And that’s how Gale Cleven got his first handjob in the backroom of the hospital.



[lee1504]

aiden clark head canons

I feel like he'd also be a baseball kid growing up. His parents would sit politely on the bleachers. After he and his team finished the game, they'd probably take him to a four or five star Michelin restaurant.

When Ben and his parents first visited Aiden and his family, Aiden would probably not share any of his toys or games, specifically Nintendo games, with him, being an only child and all.

He once heard Ben singing in the bathroom when he was taking a shower. At first Aiden made fun of him but then was forced to say sorry. Aiden and Ben shared a room because 'they needed to bond' and every night Aiden had to listen to Ben's parents sing of whisper him to sleep, but eventually he grew on it and fell asleep to it too.

Aiden quit baseball when he was fifth grade. Initially he didn't have any hobbies, but swam a lot in his family's pool. He even tried out for a high school team which surprisingly accepted him, but said no.

Aiden started acting more 'hyper' or something like that when Ben was getting bullied. He'd pick fights with them after school so that he could stand up for his cousin. They'd always come home bloody, and Aiden would always get in in trouble with the principle and his parents, but when they 'grounded' or 'punished' him/sent him to his room, he'd just sit quietly or talk to Ben.

He first dyed his hair blond when he was in middle school, the start of sixth grade, after he and his parents moved. They didn't live near Ash yet. At first Aiden would follow Ben around, but then it became the opposite. He (Aiden) always had a grin or a stare on his face that made people back off, even if they weren't doing anything, and he didn't really have any friends except for Ben.

Of course, the first time a girl confessed ('I like you') he laughed and said, 'I like me too.'

When they moved again, Aiden saw Ash and finally decided he should try to become friends with someone. He didn't really know how to socialize without being weird, but didn't care how he was so just acted like normal.

Whenever he got in serious trouble with his parents (for fighting Ben's bullies instead of, like, accidentally dropping a vase or something) he would say that he would run away and then actually run away. The first time it happened his parents were FREAKING OUT. They called the police and Ben's parents. He was finally found in a restaurant (Denny's or IHOP or something). They eventually learned that everytime he said he was going to run away, he was serious. He mostly left for a few hours or a day, but always came back. That's when his parents started caring less about him and more about his grades/achievements.

Aiden would achieve SO MANY things and win tons of trophies so he started to get bored and not try anymore. He'd purposely put the wrong answers. His mother hit him once for it, but he stopped caring. Eventually the family all just stopped caring at the same time. When Aiden was failing, he'd pull his grades up again and vise versa. Ben didn't really say anything about it. It was the same when he went blond

[belmottetower]

ur post about jamie’s loan has me thinking soooo many thoughts but the main thing im confused about is this: how was jamie able to get on the starting line-up so quickly after returning from his loan to richmond? city obviously hadn’t originally intended to recall jamie for a while as of 106 — jamie’s loan being pulled and him actually being sent back is presented like a surprising piece of information for everyone in the team, and i just can’t interpret that as “his contract was expiring soon, he just went back a week earlier than normal”. it felt like ted (at the very least) was setting up jamie to stay for a while after that, both strategically and socially. so, if he had spent much less time in richmond than intended (and thus probably developed a lot less than intended), how did he manage to start in richmond’s relegation match? it could have been city trying to give him more minutes against a lower ranked team, but then why would they start him AND let him play the whole game even after it was tied 1-1 if he’s not a consistent part of the starting line up? im a silly little american who knows nothing about european football, but it just doesn’t make sense how jamie could go from “we’re going to give you so few minutes that we basically have to loan u out or else you’re just wasting time” to “you’re going to be on the starting line up/close to it” so quickly once returning to city? was it just him learning to be a team player or is the show just getting fuzzy w the details? (also that was so long im sorry this is just a Very Specific Question and im trying to get it across properly)

This is referring to things from my earlier loan ask, so linking that here.

First of all, I am sure that Jamie's loan was meant to go until the end of the season. However, a loan can be terminated at any point during the season if both parties agree to it. So in this case, City saw he wasn't playing every possible minute with Richmond and they said to Richmond, "if you aren't going to play him, we want him back. We'd rather be the ones training and not using him if YOU'RE not going to use him." They were the ones that instigated the recall of Jamie, Rebecca just simply had to agree to it on behalf of Richmond and Jamie goes home. (Let's not worry about the fact that his agent would have been involved in this process because 2 seconds of digging in that direction makes the plot fall apart.)

But Jamie had been playing for Richmond for almost a full season at this point, from the summer of 2019 to what has to be around the February of 2020. He was there for over nine months of the season, and he went back to City when they only had a couple of months left.

In 1.08, when he visits Keeley, it's late March and he tells her that City were in town playing West Ham. He says "I had ten touches, I had two completed dribbles, and in the 89th minute they let me take a free kick." This implies to me that he was being brought on as a substitute at that point. Because ten touches, for a forward, is not very many during a full 90 minutes. And then the "They let me" in terms of taking a free kick sounds to me like he's still very much not a major power player, more like he's been given a chance, like "give the kid a turn, see how he handles it."

But it still feels to me like City valued Jamie as a player, and when they got him back after around nine months of a loan, they decided to give him a few more chances and see what he could do. And if he's succeeding for them in games as a sub, it's more likely that he will start the next match.

And the thing about the Richmond relegation match is that it's implied City had already secured the Premier League title, weeks before. They are not awarded the trophy at the end of the match. They're not celebrating having won the League. There's no commentary from Arlo and Chris about how City need this to secure the title, unlike they way they explain it in 3.11 and 3.12. So Ted's dressing room speech about giving the champs 90 minutes of hell implies to me that City were ALREADY the league champions, that they'd won it a little earlier in the season. Hopefully it's clear to everyone by now that with a league table, this is pretty common, if someone gets enough points that it is mathematically impossible for other teams to catch up. 

In real life, this year City won the league with three matches left to play. And in this circumstance, once the thing is already won, Pep will shake up the starting line ups quite dramatically and give different players the chance to play. For example, Cole Palmer, who I mentioned in the other post? He started for City in their matches against Chelsea and Brentford at the end of the season, AFTER City had already secured the title, when there were no consequences to City winning or losing. They won against Chelsea and Palmer got an assist on the winning goal, and they actually lost to Brentford in the final match of the season but it didn't matter. Pep uses a high rotation anyway - City does not have a fixed starting eleven, it changes all the time, Palmer has started a handful of other matches in various competitions - but this is very likely what happened to Jamie in terms of the Richmond match. It's the only match we know for an absolute fact that he started in for City, and it's probably because it was a game where the line-up could be changed around and experimented with to give different players opportunities, because they weren't "playing for anything."

Basically, in summary - Jamie played for Richmond for 9-10 months (depending on how early he came in preseason.) By the end of that stay he had played a lot more minutes by then than he ever had before even if he didn't get to stay the whole length of the season. City knew he'd improved and recalled him, deciding that if Richmond weren't going to utilise him, they'd prefer he be with them in Manchester to use when they want. They start using him as a sub in the last couple of months of the season, and he proves himself to be a valuable player for them. So he gets to play more minutes, maybe gets subbed on earlier each game, and eventually he gets to start a few matches, especially ones after City has already won the title and Jamie gets to play the match just for the experience.

In terms of being a team player, I fairly strongly believe that at City, this would have been a given for Jamie no matter what. Jamie got full of himself playing as a 1-up-front striker at Richmond, maybe in a 4-2-3-1 formation, but that's not how he would have ever played at City. Pep's favourite formation during that era of City is 4-3-3 and that's what Jamie was playing in for the Richmond match, he was part of a line of three (the formations are on the Arlo White cheat sheet) against Richmond's 4-4-2. City in this shape favours high possession and passing, so Jamie would have to have been succeeding within the style Pep wanted, i.e., being a team player and passing a lot and not acting as an individual star taking control of the match.

Jamie at Richmond was a selfish player largely because he didn't see the other players as good enough. He saw himself as a cut above them and their only value was to facilitate him in taking control of the match. He's not actually wrong about the skill level objectively, and even Roy admits it in 1.04 - that he knows he should be passing to Jamie but he can't stand Jamie's attitude about it. Because shaping the team to facilitate a star striker like that is not inherently bad football, not if the player isn't a cunt about it - it's a bit like what we saw with Zava, which looked ridiculous to us as viewers but was not actually a situation that anyone other than Jamie resented because Zava made the others feel valued, even if it felt fake to us. But look. Footballers do understand that some players are just better than others, and if your star striker is a nice person who makes everyone feel valued and treats people as proper teammates, there's nothing wrong with the tactic being "get the ball to that person and let them take charge." 

Richmond was Jamie's first taste of being that heroic superstar, where he was the one with all the glory, and because he didn't see the rest of them as on his level, he became a bad "team player" due to not recognising the part the rest of the team played in his success, or helping them improve (playing with people better than you should make you better, generally!) or believing that any of the others could achieve anything. He felt he was doing it all by himself. And George Cartrick clearly also had no interest in training the team in any other way. Very much "just get the ball to Tartt, he's the only one who's any good, and try not to fuck up in the process" as opposed to using Jamie's prowess to elevate EVERYONE. 

At City, where Jamie probably wasn't the best player on the team, where the standards were more equally at his level or better, this factor is not an issue. That's not how Pep trains them, it's not how Pep thinks. Jamie knows that he's not the solo star there. He knows that all the other great players will be contributing to making things happen, that everyone is smart and talented and aren't going to fuck up. Whether he liked it or not, he would have had trust in the way that playing style works, knowing that it's what's being asked of him from Pep and what the situation calls for. But Jamie didn't trust the Richmond players to be good enough to contribute. We see this Sam a lot - his attacks on Sam are often because Sam has failed to put a pass where Jamie wanted it, or missed a shot in training, or whatever. This is not an excuse for his behaviour but it is clear evidence that Jamie is frustrated because the rest of the team isn't at his level. And unlike season 3, he has no interest in working with them on improving, or showing them how best to play with him. Being a good team player isn't always about sharing the ball equally or whatever, it's about working as a team to feed each other's strengths - that's how season 3 Jamie can be both a team player and a total star player at the same time.

Honestly, to me, Jamie making that extra pass in 1.10 wasn't anything to do with Ted, aside from narratively for us as viewers. That's just how City plays football. That's Pep's influence, not Ted's. Ted sees it happen and thinks he's done something to change Jamie's attitude but in my opinion, Jamie is just playing the way Pep wants him to, because he actually values Pep's opinion about tactics in a way he didn't value Ted's. 

There is no way in hell Jamie went from age 13, or whenever he was scouted, to age 23, being a consistently selfish ball hog style player at Man City. Lots of players want to be stars, but I believe that the level we see in season 1 is just how he thought he needed to play at Richmond, because he felt like he was the only one who knew what he was doing and making anything happen on the pitch, and then of course he liked how it felt to have all that attention on him. But the way Jamie was playing at Richmond is simply not how City play football, and season 3 makes that canon to the Ted version of City too, not just an unfounded real life football comparison. City in the show are coached by Real Pep and play Pep's version of total football. That's what Jamie was doing when he made the extra pass,  and it's his experience with Pep's total football that allows Jamie to help Richmond so much in season 3.

[ferhog]

Getting into Metroid This Past Month:

I first learned about Metroid (as well as most Nintendo franchises that weren't Pokemon and Mario) through my friend's copy of Smash Bros Brawl at around the age of 9. Samus being a hot lady underneath the cool set of power armor left enough of an impression for me to try and draw her from memory, but I otherwise had no interest in actually playing her games for most of the following decade and a half. In that time I learned a bit of her lore from Smash Trophys, Game Theory videos, and watching the first few minutes of Other M cutscenes to hear the lady from Smash Bros talk, but it wasn't until shortly after the release of Metroid Dread when I watched some late game cutscenes from the game and GameXplain's Metroid movie pitch video that I became interested enough in the story of the games and Samus as a character that I decided to downlo- I mean obtain copies of Zero Mission and Fusion for my Visua- I mean Gameboy Advance, which I held off on starting until I worked through my gaming backlog more, and it was earlier this summer that I decided the time had come.

The Metroid Manga: Before starting Zero Mission as my first game I read the manga so I'd get a good sense of Samus' backstory before starting. Now I knew what to roughly expect thanks to the Gamexplain movie pitch adapting much of the story, but overall I enjoyed it more than I was expecting. I probably don't need to tell you that Ridley was the absolute highlight. His pure evil is matched only by Louie from Pikmin in terms of Nintendo villains and it got me very invested in his rivalry with Samus throughout the games. Aside from that, my favourite part of the manga was Samus' characterization and her relationship with her bird dads. I have a real soft spot for all adoption related tropes so I really like the idea that Samus was taken in by what was once the most important race in the galaxy and inherited their legacy of keeping the peace, which she basically turned into a job via bounty hunting. However a lot of what the manga does is better in concept than in execution, as the art is hard to follow a lot of the time and much of the story is sped through quite quickly, no thanks to how much time is spent with the extensive cast of side characters. When Samus started her zero mission I held off on finishing the story until I played the game, and while I'm glad that they went with adapting the game at the end because we got to see a climactic fight against Ridley it is super bizarre that they didn't commit to the idea and just stopped when Samus reached Mother Brain. The manga is absolutely worth reading but best thought of as a companion to Zero Mission, probably best read afterwards.

Metroid Zero Mission: My experience with Metroidvanias was basically just Hollow Knight, the first Dark Souls, and Bloodborne, and while I was excited to experience the same sense of adventure I also feared getting lost as per this franchise's reputation. However I surprisingly managed to make my way though the whole game with only one thing I had to look up, which embarrassingly was the same mistake David Jaffe infamously made in Dread, as I failed to realize I could shoot a ceiling open even with enemies there to hint that I could. I think the game has the perfect balance between freedom and guidance as someone's first Metroid game through the chozo statues that mark your next destination without telling you how exactly to get there. Combine that with it being a remake of the first game and I think it was just the perfect game for me and anyone else to start with. My biggest issue gameplay-wise was just the fights against Mother Brain and the two black Space Pirates were very frustrating, the latter because the combat just didn't feel designed for a fight that reflex based, at least not for a newcomer. After finishing the game I felt compelled to earn the Zero Suit Samus ending, which I accomplished by constantly scouting out the optimal routes and resetting so I could get through them as fast as possible.

AM2R: I wanted to play these games in story order so I knew I had to play some version of Metroid 2 next. After trying out the original Metroid that you unlock after beating Zero Mission I figured the pre-NES games weren't going to be fun for me so I wanted to play either AM2R or Samus Returns, and I went with the former as it would be easier to find and would be closer to the game I just finished. The game is a very impressive feat for a fan-made project, though I think it was the one I had the least fun with overall. A few hours into the game I listened to the Some Call Me Johnny review which mentioned it being very hard, and that made sense considering it was a fan project by big Metroid fans for big Metroid fans, but it did result in a few of the bosses being quite frustrating with how much skill they demanded, particularly with the space jump which I struggled to understand the timing of. I didn't feel like instantly replaying it as I did with Zero Mission but I really loved how they adapted the ending.

Super Metroid: "This SNES game probably won't hold up that well right?" Thought the guy whose first console was the PS2.

Super Metroid is one of the greatest games of all time.

Metroid Fusion: I was real intrigued going into this game given what I'd heard about its linearity and extra story focus compared to the prior games but it was still a shock going straight from 2 playthroughs of Super Metroid to this. It didn't even really feel like Metroid, especially with how you were essentially playing through levels via Adam sending you through specific locations with specific tasks. Eventually I got used to it and fully accepted it as a Metroid game as I was increasingly required to be more explorative, though I think of all Metroid games I've played it has the most needlessly abstract methods for mandatory progression. The example which I eventually gave up on and looked up was the yellow Space Pirate X which which could only be damaged with a shot to the back apparently? There was seemingly no visual hints for that and the doors didn't even open if you absorbed the X before they formed the Space Pirates. While I figured out the other examples on my own I just felt I had to blow up way more seemingly random walls than normal. The bosses were generally very fun except for everything about Yakuza. A super long lead up to a boss that kept killing me super easily before I figured out how to avoid its grab attack, followed by a struggle to regain health for the ensuing SA-X encounter with how little health you get from enemies that could fly in out of nowhere and do more damage to you than you were regaining. Speaking of the SA-X, it wasn't in the game as much as I was expecting, but each encounter was quite memorable, especially when I was hiding behind power bomb blocks and it dropped a power bomb. Overall I didn't like most of this game's choices, but I like it when franchises try new things so I wouldn't say anything should have been changed except for how much health you get from enemies. This was the 2nd game I didn't feel like instantly replaying.

Metroid Prime: As of writing this I am currently a few hours into the first Metroid Prime, specifically having just gotten the boost ball. The Metroid formula was very well translated into 3D and the visuals have aged amazingly. I may be playing a remaster but most remasters still don't look this modern. But curiously this has been the Metroid game I've spent the most time away from during a playthrough, going several days without picking it up again. It's not that I dislike playing it, I just don't feel as much of a strong desire to keep coming back to it. Maybe I just feel the need to catch up on other stuff after playing so much Metroid. I do think I'll get around to playing the rest soon enough.

One of my biggest impressions overall is that Metroid is actually quite underrated despite how iconic it is. Samus seems mostly remembered as a Smash Bros character and her iconic twist as one of gaming's first female protagonists, but it doesn't seem like that many people actually play the games. It's also funny that while Samus is famous as a sex symbol in the Smash Bros and general gaming fandoms, it seems that the actual Metroid fandom prefers their Samus cooler than sexy. Anyway I'm looking forward to eventually picking up Dread, the game which first hooked my interest into this franchise, and the other 2 Prime games. Maybe I'll even pick up Other M if I see it around.

[c4tth3w]

matthew Q&A for GQ <3

Here’s a recap of everything that’s happened to Matthew Tkachuk over the last five weeks. First, he and the Florida Panthers took down the Boston Bruins in one of the biggest upsets the NHL has ever seen: Florida came back from a 3-1 deficit in their first-round series to oust the team with the best regular-season record in league history. Both Games 5 and 7—elimination games for the Panthers—went to overtime, and Tkachuk was heavily involved. He netted the game winner in the fifth game and assisted on the Game 7 knockout punch that sent Florida to the next round.      

The Panthers completed a gentleman's sweep of the Toronto Maple Leafs in the second round, and shortly after that, Tkachuk was named a finalist for the Hart Trophy, given to the NHL’s Most Valuable Player. The Eastern Conference Finals pitted Florida against the Carolina Hurricanes, a juggernaut that would have had the league’s best record if not for the Bruins going supernova. The Panthers only needed four games for them. The final fixture of that series provided the biggest moment of Tkachuk’s career. With just 4.3 seconds left in regulation, Tkachuk buried the goal (his fourth game-winner of the playoffs) that clinched Florida’s first trip to the Stanley Cup Final since 1996.

The Panthers have one more challenge standing between them and Lord Stanley. The Vegas Golden Knights, owners of the best record in the Western Conference, are no slouch. Bringing down a fourth 100-point team would be a fairytale ending to the Panthers’ postseason march—and very much in line with the fairytale that the 25-year-old Tkachuk has been living. (He uses the word “unreal” frequently.) As his Panthers have climbed the postseason ladder, Jimmy Butler has worn Tkachuk’s jersey, strengthening the bond between two South Florida underdogs gunning for improbable championships. Tkachuk has also appeared on Inside the NBA, and by sweeping Carolina, he’s had some leisure time to soak up the sun before starting the Stanley Cup Final. In his first year in Florida after six with the Calgary Flames, Tkachuk has adjusted accordingly to the tropical lifestyle. As he told GQ in a recent interview, there are far worse places to be.  

You’ve had a lot of time to chill. What the hell have you been up to?

I’ve been hanging out and going to the beach a lot. I’ve taken a few quick trips. One of the perks of living in Florida is you have the ocean right there. It’s super good for your body and mind to go in there—it’s pretty peaceful in there. I’ve gone out a couple times for dinner. But mostly I’m just staying quiet at the house. I don’t know, I’m really trying to put everything into the Stanley Cup Final. I’m at the rink every single day, some days to skate and some days to recover. Obviously, I’m using everything in the basket to try and win it all here. 

Oh, I went to the Heat game the other night! I got to see Game 6 and sat with Charles [Barkley] and Shaq for a little bit.  

How fun was it to guest on Inside the NBA and witness that legendary Charles and Shaq energy up close?

It was awesome! It all happened last minute—literally that morning I was asked if I wanted to come to the game and talk with Charles and Shaq. Hell yeah! Let’s do it. But what was really cool was talking to those guys off camera. That’s when we were really talking. Hockey, sports, golf, just talking about everything, getting to pick their brains, and learn about stuff I don’t really know about was super entertaining. 

Are you more of a Charles or a Shaq?

That is tough. It was crazy that I got to meet them. I think that [dynamic] would be a great comparison for how me and my brother [Ottawa Senators captain Brady Tkachuk] are. We bicker a lot. But we’re really tight and actually best friends. Always there to chirp each other and have fun. They were both unreal players too. I watched more of Shaq, because he was closer to my generation, but I just watched Charles in the Dream Team documentary. I don’t know who I would be.

You’re in South Florida now, but I just learned that you went to high school in St. Louis with Jayson Tatum. So who were you rooting for in that Heat-Celtics series?

I honestly just loved going to watch Jayson and Jimmy Butler. I didn’t care about the final score. I know all the people in St. Louis would be pissed at me if I was rooting against Jayson and all the people here probably wouldn’t be happy if I was rooting against the Heat. I thought it’d just be easier to root for a couple players. Now that the Heat are in the Finals and I have zero allegiance to the Denver Nuggets at all—if the Heat can pull off the upset it’d be unreal for all of South Florida. 

The idea of playing hockey in Florida always has this kind of funny connotation. It’s a relatively new franchise, you’re playing in warm weather in the south, it’s a very opposite idea of what most people have in their head when they think of the NHL. But you’re making it all sound pretty great.

It’s the top destination in the NHL. When you look at it—this is my opinion, and I would say most people’s opinion—the top two destinations in the league right now are the Florida teams. Third would probably be Vegas. It’s funny how that’s who we’re playing in the Final. People probably don’t look at Florida as the biggest hockey market, but Tampa’s won all these Cups recently and been to a bunch of Finals, the Panthers had some good runs before I got here, and when you go out West, Vegas has been right there at the top. Dallas has been right there too. These warmer climate markets aren’t the same as Toronto or Montreal, but the success that everyone’s had down here is no secret.  

When I chose to come here, the number one reason was to be on a competitive team, compete for championships year over year, right behind that was the way of life. But you’re not just coming here to live the Florida life, you’re coming here to win. It’s just a perk that you get to live in Florida on top of all that. My life has changed so much since coming [to Florida]. The lifestyle has been unbelievable. The way I’m able to live down here is insane. It doesn’t get better, anywhere. Playing in the U.S., having these opportunities with people like Jimmy Butler and Charles Barkley, having way more nationally-televised games, competing for the Stanley Cup, that’s made not only myself but everyone on the team more of a name than we were before. 

Have you become a boat guy since moving to Florida?

I have not. I’ve gotten as far as a few jet skis. I’m not a boat guy. I like to go on boats, but I don’t want to drive a boat. No chance I could park it. 

How many texts did you get after scoring the game-winning goal to go to the Final? Was your phone just unusable?

I don’t know, probably close to 400 or 500. This run has been unreal. 

After scoring that goal, when did reality set in?

I don’t think it felt real until the next day. With that goal, I knew there wasn’t much time left. When Ryno [Sam Reinhart] shot it off the post, I figured we had about ten seconds, maybe a little bit less. The next few chances, whether it was one or multiple, had to be on the net quick. I sort of just walked out from behind the net. I knew I had a little bit of time to make a move, but not much. Once I saw it go in I was the happiest person ever. First thing I did was look up to see if I got it in on time, and saw there was four seconds left or whatever. I don’t know what I was thinking after that! I did the slide [celebration] and it felt like the roof was going to come off because it was so loud. Then I got a little nervous because [the Hurricanes] challenged it [for goaltender interference], and you never know with challenges. But, it was obviously a good goal, and that was the moment where I was like, “Holy shit. That just happened.”

When I got back home I hung out with some family and friends and talked about how crazy of a night that was. I woke up the next day, which thankfully was an off day, and just thought, “Wow, Stanley Cup Final, here we come.” I’ve seen enough highlights of the goal just from being in places where it’s on TV—and trust me, I love seeing it—but I don’t want that goal to define the season. 

When the puck drops on Game 1, it’ll be your first game since May 24. Is the concept of rust mostly a myth, or is that something that you guys are actually talking about and acknowledging?

You know what? We had a week off before the third round and maybe there was a little bit of rust in the first period. That’s something that we’re going to learn from. In the playoffs, with days off—even if there’s ten of them—it’s great for players that have some bumps and bruises.

You’ve gotta be pretty beat up at this point of the year. Does everything hurt when you wake up? 

When you win it doesn’t hurt that much.

From your perspective, why is a lower seed making it all the way to the Final much more common in hockey than it is in other sports?

Well, it’s happening right now in basketball, too! But it’s really just, once you get in, everything resets back to zero. We got into the playoffs by one point. When it came down to that—then we realized, holy shit we’re playing the Boston Bruins, the best regular season team in NHL history. [But] none of that really mattered anymore! It was 0-0. Let’s go. It gave us confidence. We do a great job of keeping our focus solely on each game. That’s what’s made us have a lot of success.  

It’s gotta be that plus whatever they’ve put in the water down there that’s given you and the Heat superpowers.

[chuckles] We’re feeding off each other.

I know that hockey players are famously superstitious, but I’m wondering if you’ve allowed yourself to think about what you would do with the Stanley Cup if you get your day with it. 

It’s natural to think about that stuff. But every time I go down that road I pinch myself and try not to. The one thing you do think about constantly is that feeling you’d have from lifting the Stanley Cup for the first time. That’s gotta be the most amazing thing in your whole life. One team is going to do it—hopefully it’s us.   

What’s up with Brooks Koepka? He seems to be the Panthers’ fan ambassador right now, and he’s intense! It’s clear that it’s not an act at all—he really cares! 

I actually just met him right after Game 4. He wanted to come down and meet me. I got a picture with him and got to chit chat for a little bit. He’s really excited. It’s great to see support from other athletes. Success in a tight community makes everyone pull for each other. Him and the rest of the fan base has been unreal. This building is so loud. We were talking about in the offseason—which is hopefully a few weeks from now after winning the Stanley Cup—maybe we can link up and golf somewhere. 

[piermanwalter]

I had a dream there was a goofy Totally Accurate Battle Simulator type game called The Mirror of Princely Deeds and Knighthood where you play as a squire using overly realistic and purposefully horrendous physics-based controls to carefully dress your liege in every piece of clothing and armor before he goes off to procedurally generated battle you have absolutely no control during, but you can watch play out, where how well you prepared your knight has vital impact on how well he survives and excels in combat. The game's charm comes from the dissonance between feature-film-quality music and voice acting combined with vague nonsensical characters and settings, the terrible outfits you can send your knight out in, and extremely broken physics.

It's normal and expected to spend half an hour to equip your knight. For example, if you wildly swing a helmet around, you can hit your liege in the head so hard he dies. If you forget to put his gambeson on first, and then pull the leather straps holding armor pieces together too tight, the chafing causes open wounds that make him die of infection after battle. Then, after you learn to put his gambeson on, you put the armor plates on in the wrong order, so whole plates fall off, leading to your liege getting stabbed and dying in battle. Then, you put his armor on in the right order, but while on a galloping horse, the plates shake loose and he gets stabbed and dies again. When you finally arm and armor him properly, and he completely obliterates the enemy, it turns out you never gave him a tabard, heraldic shield, or standard, so he can't take credit for his heroism and you lose anyway.

In Sandbox Mode, you have access to every outfit and armor piece and can choose the type of battle, and number/type of enemies and allies. If you want, you can funnel 700 knights down both ends of a joust field and form a horrible ever-growing mountain of human and equine flesh in the middle, or cover your knight in a spherical mass of armor and make him trudge through a storm of arrows. In this mode, you can only serve Sir (Insert Name Here) (you can't pick and choose a name this is literally how his name is displayed and pronounced) with no distinguishing traits and a different randomly generated appearance each time he dies, but speaks of how eager he is to prove himself in the battlefield, making it all the more tragic when you send him out wearing a necklace made from 10 helmets strung on a rope and nothing else.

In Campaign Mode, your kingdom is at war and you aid your liege in seeking glory through 100+ predetermined battles with branching paths depending on how well you do and the whims of your liege. Not only do you have to survive each battle, you also have to undress and apply dubiously effective medical treatments to your knight, as well as fix and replace progressively more damaged equipment. Here you have a choice between serving three different knights: Sir Bernard is fuelled by bloodlust. Skilled and accomplished in battle, he is too proud to complain if you are doing anything wrong or of any injuries sustained during battle, no matter how severe. An inexperienced squire can coast off Sir Bernard's indomitable strength, but you need to be extra careful making sure he doesn't have secret gangrene or is stoically bleeding to death. Sir Bernard takes trophies from noteworthy foes, giving you access to unique equipment.

Sir Leonard is dependent on the favor of his Lady. Every few battles, he receives a new gift, progressively weirder physics items of little or no practical use. Sir Leonard can endure a number of mortal blows equal to the number of gifts he is carrying. If sent to battle with no gifts, or all carried gifts are lost or damaged during battle, Sir Leonard will fall into despair and be reduced to a sobbing meat wall. Easy enough to make him invincible with handfuls of rings and kerchiefs folded beside his heart, but don't be careless with his Lady's gifts lest you are left with a 20-foot embroidered tapestry, a shield-sized crystal dish, and a squirmy spoiled pet white ermine.

Sir Richard is a resourceful tactician. He has accurate and extensive knowledge of battlefield conditions, enemy composition, and the state of your allies, which Sir Richard will tell you about as you dress him. Sir Richard is also independently wealthy enough to easily afford new equipment to take advantage of this knowledge. He has scoliosis and is the only person in the entire game with a unique base model, which presents some challenges in dressing him properly.

If you choose one knight, the others will be allies for the rest of Campaign Mode. If your knight dies, you will serve Sir (Insert Name Here), who will always be on the gruelling frontlines, and you will miss out on character-specific interactions and endings.

There are important plot decisions, but these decisions are not made by you. For example, if some knights are conspiring to disobey the king and pillage a wealthy merchant town, Sir Leonard and Sir Richard are unlikely to join them unless your supplies are critically dire, but Sir Bernard can't be stopped. The ruling family of that town are so powerful that they pressure your King to stop the war, and the game ends. The only things you as a squire can do is outfit Sir Bernard so badly that he dies before pillaging anything, or dress him without identifiable heraldry, so the ruling family can't pin the blame on your kingdom. At any point, any of the other characters can die during a regular battle, or even outside of them. Your King's army gets encircled by the enemy and Sir Leonard goes off to rescue him. But if you use Sir Richard's funds to buy out all the good equipment, Sir Leonard and your King both die offscreen and the game ends.

A possible final battle against the enemy King is set on the coast where a ship laden with pepper catches fire and runs aground, causing everyone to stop every 30 seconds and sneeze in unison, with horrific consequences if your knight has an ermine crammed under his cuirass.

There's also Multiplayer Mode, where you have access to any item found during Campaign Mode and either have 10 minutes to dress your knight before sending him out to in whatever state he's in to fight knights dressed by other people in 10 minutes, or have an unlimited time to preemptively dress your knight, then save him in whatever state he's in and instantly send him to fight other knights dressed in an unlimited amount of time.

[theusosroomcc]

the The Sims 4 Graveyard of abandoned, unfinished and removed content

Hello! I made a list of most of the things in The Sims 4 that were introduced but then abandoned, unfinished features and removed features. If you have something else to add, don't hesitate to leave a comment! So, let's get started to this really extensive list!

Stuff Packs Introduced in The Sims 2, Stuff Packs were made to give players new Build/Buy and CAS content without the need of an expansion and half the price of it. In The Sims 4, they were 1/4 of the price of an expansion, but also brought new gameplay experiences, like new interactive objects, new skills, new careers. The last Stuff Pack released was Paranormal, in January 2021, and EA never said if they are officially discontinued or if we'll get any other stuff pack.

Gameplay Kits EA introduced Kits in 2021, as a new type of paid content, being half the price of a Stuff Pack and focused in a single aspect: gameplay, CAS or Build/Buy. Bust The Dust was the only gameplay kit ever released. Seems like these were abandoned due to budget limitations, as you can't make much of a gameplay for a so low-priced DLC. Also, BTD release was a mess, there were several bugs on it and there are some that still persist nowadays.

Achievements The game has some achievements for the player, which are based in their current save. Achievements are unlocked when you reach specific goals (Career, Player Feats, Sim Feats, Relationships, Skills and Crafting, Wealth and Collecting). If you play on console, achievements are disabled if you use some cheats, like testingcheats and motherlode, because they count to their trophy/game achievements system. Most of them are from base game, and a few were sporadically added with packs, with the last achievement being from Seasons.

Handedness Sims are randomly assigned as left-handed or right-handed, but only few interactions (eating, drinking, holding some objects) respect the Sim's dominant hand.

Auto-save feature In The Sims 4 release, the game came with an auto-save feature, that often made a save state of your current save. The main drawback of it was that you couldn't customize it, like setting the period of each save. It also only saved in specific situations (creating a new game, when you made a manual save, exiting the game without saving and going to main menu without saving) and it didn't load on the Resume button, you had to manually choose it. They removed the feature in 2017, saying that "it didn't work as intended" but they didn't even tried to improve it

Snowy Escape removed content During Snowy Escape early access, some Korean players complained to EA about the "Bow at Shrine" interaction and some clothes that had Japan's imperial flag, since these were offensive to them due to the period Korea was over Japan's domain. These things were removed, although the interaction is still in the game's files and can be enabled by using a mod. There was also a new roof trim available in the early access, but it was removed due to alleged "technical issues".

In-game events The Sims 4 had many in-game limited time events, where you had to accomplish some goals to receive a reward, mostly special objects. There was even a hostess for these events, called Jasmine Holiday. There was also an event where a Sim version of Millie Bobby Brown was in this role.

Sims Sessions (as an in-game event) They kinda resurrected in-game events with Sims Sessions in 2021, where Sims of real-life artists made a presentation in-game in special venues, with some objects and clothing made for this event. It only happened once, and now this name is used for a YouTube series where artists show the making of their songs in Simlish.

Lifestyles These were introduced with Snowy Escape. Sims can gain lifestyles after doing some specific interactions along their routine. When a lifestyle is unlocked, these might have skill boosts, moodlet boosts, career performance boosts or even unlock special interactions related to the activities on the lifestyle. Your Sim is only allowed to have 3 lifestyles simultaneously and some of them are incompatible. No new lifestyles were introduced after that, although Growing Together's Social Compatibility is also affected by the lifestyles your Sims might have.

Pack refreshes After doing some surveys about introducing new features to already released content, EA introduced pack refreshes in 2021. The only pack that had it was Spa Day, with new interactions, new CAS content, new aspirations and a new trait. When people asked producers about new refreshes, the gurus refused to say anything about them.

Curved walls Introduced in the patch prior to High School Years, curved walls were a highly requested feature for builders, but poorly executed. Only a few specific windows and doors are compatible with curved walls, there's a bug with placing curved walls over other surfaces which causes the distortion of the surface under the wall, the object placement inside curved rooms is broken and the camera bounces if you do a curved room above the ground level. Additionally, no curved windows and doors were released besides the ones in High School Years.

The Sims 4 Gallery official app for mobile phones in this app, you could see and favorite created content, send them to download in your game and follow your favorite creators. The app was discontinued and removed from the app stores in 2017.

Scenarios (likely) Added as a way to give more challenge to the game, scenarios make the player accomplish some goals, in change of aspiration points, traits or unlockable assets. Some scenarios have a time limit to be finished, or you'll fail on them. Most scenarios are permanent, but there were some that were available to start for some real-life time and then vanished. EA even made a Main Menu overhaul to give more space to scenarios and even overhauled some of them, adding/adjusting difficulty levels and allowed some of them to be played with already played households. No new scenarios were introduced in 2023.

SDX (Sims Delivery Express) [likely] These were introduced as a way to add small contents to game without needing to do a full update for it, like new objects, new foods, new CAS content and small bug fixes. They were stored in the user's game folder. All these contents would later be introduced definitely in the game files with the subsequent game patches. No new SDXs were introduced in 2023, although the April 18th patch had content that were internally labeled as SDX contents.

Naked interactions for teens With Get Together, it was introduced the "Get Naked" interaction, alongside with skinny-dipping. Teens were enabled to do these interactions, but after a year or so EA quietly removed it from the game.

My Wedding Stories unfinished content We all know that My Wedding Stories' release was a hot mess. Several bugs, delayed release, issues with LGBT+ content in Russia... This pack development was so rushed that some features were left unfinished. You can ask for your valentine's parents for their blessing for marriage, but the game gives no moodlets related to them. A modder found that Maxis made the icons for the moodlets, but not the moodlets themselves. There is also a cross-pack feature with Cats and Dogs, where you can pick your dog as a flower pal, but it's only available using cheats or a mod to permanently unlock it.

Whims vs. Wants EA replaced whims with wants, and also introduced the fears system. The main issue is that cross-pack whims were not converted to wants, and the fears system seems to be very broken, being assigned to your Sim randomly and even repeating after solving it.

PlantSims These were released in The Sims 4 as part of one of those in-game limited time events, with some special powers related to gardening, Water motive instead of Bladder and their Hunger need can be fulfilled by sunlight exposure. They were also reused in a game scenario called Plant-A-Sim. Although they exist in game, they are not treated as proper occults, being labeled by the game as "temporary states", since their existence is basically a moodlet. Occult players begged EA to turn them into proper occults, but nothng was made.

Things Maxis said that would take time, but none/few updates were given:

Townie overhaul Maxis said that they would overhaul all the townies from the game, from Base Game to Cottage Living, giving them appearances with fidelity to their ethnics and proper lore around them. The only household which received a overhaul were The Goths, and no other was released after that.

Pronouns After many months speaking about them, the custom pronoun feature was introduced only in English, with no expected release for more languages.