#also i might share some of my life here as well? i realized i dont talk about myself quite often here

[sunflawyer]

a little sunflawyer lore drop because its been too long since i did one!!

just as a way for me to show abby's personality better ☀️ it's about Abby and her patients.

its quite long though !!! (⁠⊙⁠_⁠◎⁠) but its sweet :3

abby is a psychologist who works at a clinic !!! her patients range from kids to adults :D so far the one that i would love to mention is Clara, a 9 year old girl who suffers from abvuse trauma. for clara's case, abby helps her to heal while jimmy helps bring justice for her by capturing the perpetrator.

recently i thought of a new patient!! this one is an elderly man named Sam who recently lost his wife. he goes to abby to help him cope with his grief. he tells abby everything about his marriage — the memories, the dreams, the moments... and sam's stories make abby think of jimmy. the same romance that sparkles between the two of them...

now, sam's wife's passing got her thinking about herself too. abby has a low blood pressure, which causes her to pass out quite often, and it always worries jimmy. she's afraid if something happens to her one day, jimmy will struggle to cope with it. and it terrifies her and haunts her mind for days until one day she can't take it anymore.

so one day, after she comes home from another session with sam, abby sits beside jimmy and asks him to make her cry. jimmy was taken aback of course — he never wanted to see abby cry, let alone being the one who caused it. but abby trusts him and says crying is a good way to cope with sadness to relief all of your bottled-up emotions. at work, she has to be tough for her patients, but today, she needs to ve vulnerable.

so, jimmy did. — he tells her about the day they met, about how he was instantly captivated by her the moment his eyes met hers. he tells her about their wedding day, how he was so nervous that he was the loudest to cry during their vows. he tells her the day tommy was born, the day tommy said 'mama', and the day when he first entered daycare. he tells her their memories together.

and she cried. of course not from sadness, but from happiness. they've been through a lot together. there were times when she doubted herself, and there were times when she was the happiest woman in the world. and she went through them with jimmy by her side.

he then pulls her into his arms and whispers, "its okay to cry, abby. i know you want to be tough for others, but with me, youre not just Dr. Abigail McGill, you're Abby. You're my wife, my best friend, the reason why I wake up with a smile everyday."

and he kisses her forehead, lingering there.

"you're a human, abby. a human with feelings. I'm here for you, to share your burdens with. i love you, no matter how you are feeling today, tomorrow, and the next day.

you're my heart."

[tomwaterbabies]

Heyy :D

I really love your takes and I enjoy sappy things so if you ever feel like it I'd love to hear more from you about the 'lots of genuine sappy stuff because of which Varian fell for Hugo'

Thanks in advance and have a nice dayy!! 🎉

LMAO well alright ! and ty muchly for enjoying my takes........ u see the world and u understand it

im gonna do my best here but i admit not only am i prone to rambles im ALSO not super great when it comes to more genuine sentimental things but this will be a general idea at the very least (also tagging @exis-j-harvey out of courtesy lol)

this is long as hell btw

varian falling in love with hugo i think has to do a lot with varian's whole dream of going out into the world for his own adventure, to find his own discoveries, and to just. find himself. i like that the concepts for vat7k mention that varian has a desire to gain a greater understanding of himself, and i think that's an important aspect

the thing is, varian and hugo- to me- arent all that different. im not saying theyre one-to-one lol, they do have their differences. but i think sharing similarities both causes them to not get along at first as well as eventually causing them to be really, really close friends. i am a believer that this is a case of enemies to best friends to lovers

varian has always stood out as a little bit of a weirdo in corona (understatement). his friends and family love him dearly, but he obviously is still someone who kind of stands out and might not always feel like he fits in. when he goes on this adventure, he finds others (yong, nuru, hugo) who are so much like him. so much so that finding his blood family of inventors, while incredible, ultimately does not end up being where he feels he belongs- where he feels the most like himself. if i were to attach a disney love song to him, "strangers like me" would be applicable, just to give an idea

to actually, like, Talk about hugo here; i think varian sees something so much more than even hugo sees. hugo appears as pretentious and particular about many things, and he is, but varian sees that it's hugo's strong spirit that guides him. hugo is unique, he's opinionated, his will is hard to shake. varian sees someone who is so sure of things and confident, that he cant help but admire him. he sees someone so wildly complicated and full of intrigue. hugo is like a discovery of something new and wonderful to him. of all the incredible, amazing things he's been able to see and experience, i think hugo exceeds all of that to him

hugo is also charismatic and charming to him of course. i've mentioned Many Times that i subscribe to the take that he isnt flirty whatsoever and this is still true. he's just charismatic in other ways. he's sarcastic, cocky, and mischievous. many of these things have a chance of making varian laugh or will have him finding hugo endearing (and while hugo doesnt intend for this: varian definitely does still get really flustered on occasion- though i dont think hugo even realizes that varian is flustered because he finds him attractive)

and then there's the times where hugo opens up more. where varian sees hugo's genuine love and passion for things. he sees his kinder side, his softer side. and that all just makes varian feel so, so much more intensely for someone he is starting to consider his best friend. he also sees his talent, his intelligence, his bravery (for the things that really matter), and so so much more. to varian, he is full of spirit, larger than life. god this is so sappy but im talking about varian so!! it just HAPPENS!!

and these are just some aspects of him. like i said, he's a very complicated person. for all of hugo's hidden insecurities and self-loathing, varian sees just how Bright and Brilliant and Wonderful of a person hugo is. this is his partner in crime (sometimes literally), someone he can experience this life with- and there's something so indescribably wondrous about it all. to varian, hugo is Everything. and hugo most certainly feels the same way

(and since i've already used a song to help describe things- i'll say now that the classic "i hear a symphony" is applicable to varian's love for hugo too)

[aztarion]

hiii jez, your sol tag is incredible and i love everything about her!! best aesthetic & best most fucked up vampire bbgirl of all time <3 do you have any interesting facts or random tidbits of lore about her that you are willing to share or link me to? wish to know everything & more about her asap tysm 🥰

whaaaat hi bree!! 😭 that oc tag is so thrown together and unorganised girl youre insane putting yourself through that but omfg its til death do us part now 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

i dont really post writing with my ocs much on tumblr but i blabbered for like an hour here im so sorry in advance i hope its a little entertaining…. tw for ed mention and self harm but its just your regular vtm stuff if youre familiar with the background ttrpg

soledad is her courier alias, she usually goes by that or the inevitable nickname sol, which doubles as a small remnant of her old life — her real name is solona ^^

she is first gen mexican-filipina, grew up in california before moving to arizona

didn’t care for academics much; preferred working with her hands — she dropped out of studies as soon as it was acceptable and went into business training under her dad and older brother as a mechanic

very laidback, easygoing, quietly contented; never had sprawling ambitions or aspirations and she was cool with that (was and is a little bit of a perfectionist with her work tho). this created a wedge with her mom who did nawt like the notion of her only daughter wasting prime years and a pretty face in a dingy garage. (i never get it *exactly* how i want in art & have never found a faceclaim i love, but i kinda picture her overall look as like. a timeless, slightly restless sort of dark beauty; like her eyes are always trying to tell you something in spite of herself, even when she looks totally serene lol)

anyway! one of moms fears are realized — sol ends up with a very noticeable facial scar (semi glasgow smile? mouth to under ear and a little further than that even, cheek just super spliced) due to an accident in the garage. sad! oh well she’s the joker now (or she will be after julian)

wait actually while im yapping about backstory i deviate a little from the game options just to make things more juicy and personal but! to me she first meets julian having to work on his suzuki and they hit it off. pre-night road as mentioned she is very easygoing — easily charmed and is herself charming — they def get along like a house on fire. julian would no doubt mentally take note of her whole roll-with-the-punches, laissez-faire attitude — naturally that just seems like a quality that might come in handy when you bite someone and turn them into a creature of the night. also the attentive, methodical approach she takes to her work, and when needed, her on the spot workarounds — he doesn’t want some dumb unreliable chump childe. and alright bear with him here: so it’s not relevant strictly in terms of her being thee potential great american embrace candidate he may be planning for right now, but man shes kiiiiinda cute and the scar is kiiiiiiiinda badass and its kiiiiinda hot that she knows exactly what she’s doing under the hood.…….Julian’s of course no slouch but he prefers it when others are doing the dirty work for him and she knows her stuff. so he’s thinking yeah this might work out. wait did she just say she plays nintendo too — oh this is definitely working out.

well it didn’t work out — sol ends up caitiff. julian accidentally botched her embrace 👍 whoops. but he teaches her blood sorcery as soon as possible — she can fly under the radar as a regular banu haqim. so it does work out! the sire/childe bond likely did some heavy lifting in terms of their relationship but sol was still pretty dopey heart eyes for julian in the beginning, like truly thought he was brilliant and funny and followed whatever he said no questions — really trusted him, figured with him being more experienced and so whipsmart and knowledgeable that he was utterly infallible. julian knew best and like didn’t he keep her safe trying to cover for the whole clanless thing……how could he have anything but Good Intentions dot dot dot……

in the decade after julian goes MIA, sol’s entire demeanor takes a nosedive. in the ingame text, julian and d’espine are described as being ‘fledgling-like’ in that they still have that liveliness to them, like a constant subtle Blush of Life effect. sol had that too in the years w julian, but after so long alone and having to maintain that isolation in order to ghost by in both the human world and undead while drugrunning & couriering, she gets cold — corpse and mind. outwardly she’s very composed; there’s little to no animation (no once-effortless smile, not even a ghost of the dimple in her unscarred cheek ! ) but her inner monologue is distrustful, has aged — is honestly a little paranoid and bitter sometimes ��� and overly nervous where she once would never have been. when julian returns it’s noted how young he still seems in comparison. that doesnt help the grudge she holds

i think her nerves skyrocket even more so when she feels aila stir. while u cant choose merits/flaws in night road like the table top, i feel like she would have the bulimic derangement that causes a kindred to gorge or throw up blood at random after feeding due to stress — she’s literally just THAT internally anxious. the game makes a point ensuring youre well fed on your next visit to tucson’s elysium since you showed up starving at the beginning, but after the office confrontation with lettow asking what happened to aila — which despite going successfully & having an excellent relationship with him — sol still probably LEGS it out of the viper once dove interrupts and ends up vomiting in an alley before jumping in her car🤦‍♀️ so much for paying alexander to acquire blood and making a good impression this time…..what a waste. and u know what Riga probably saw the whole mortifying ordeal too smh

ok im sorry i could talk abt the entire game like this i have so many headcanons

ooh straight up just facts & a little tldr:

so she’s 5’8; long pretty neck, slim hourglass figure with soft heavy curves, distinctly confident arms and legs, various tattoos: depictions of scorpions and snakes, the sun, spanish and tagalog script in black and red ink. she’s around whatever Julian’s human age wouldve been, i guess mid twenties range

is Julian’s Childe but due to a botched embrace ends up caitiff. masquerades as a banu haqim that, when in the presence of more prejudiced vampire society, in turn masquerades as something traditionally camarilla-fronting: malk/toreador/ventrue, whatever. it’s complicated! por los clavos de cristo does she wish she was back in that shitty little garage 20 yrs ago

throws up when nervous; is constantly a little hungry and risking an oops moment but for the most part maintains iron composure — its become a whittled and useful hard shell

learns blood sorcery right off the bat from julian, learns protean from lettow after staking reremouse w him. she usually keeps things clean and impersonal with a gun and deft precision (and elena with more guns!) but she still likes working with her hands: in close combat, especially when it involves other supernaturals, she keeps elena out of the fight and doubles up that weird combo of blood sorcery + protean — is frankly just a messy blur of slit wrists bloody sigils and slashing claws. (ough wanna draw this ugly visual so bad but omg i just know it wouldn’t work out w my skillset rn)

omg i feel like ive gone on forever in a bunch of directions while saying nothing helpp. ill stop here and spare you! thank you so much for asking bree!! :D <3 you have to tell me about your courier now!!

^ us night roading

[thelesbododo]

Hi! I'm bored so why dont we talk about some Dead Plate facts from that can be used for Au's and fics :)

I'm also gonna share some of my ideas and/or opinions

(I do ship Rody and Vince, so if you don't like the ship, please skip this post or ignore it)

-Green for fact

(Purple for ideas/opinions)

- Rody is said to have a mesomorph somatotype/medium build and is said to be stronger than he seems even with his poor lifestyle. Having said that, it's also canon that if you were to arm wrestle Rody, he would accidentally break your arm.

(This can literally work for almost any scenario, Rody has to protect Vince, smut purposes, an au where Rody is a fighter of some sort, or he just fucking picks Vince up for some reason.)

- Rody lives in a shitty, unclean apartment

(Kinda makes me think of depression rooms. Maybe potential to mame an excuse for a rody/vince roommate au or angst fic)

- He had a childhood dog named Brie

(Like the cheese lmao. Has fluff fic potential)

- He was a gifted child, who managed to get into a prestigious college, most likely the same one as Vince considering everyone at the dinner party went to college with Vince and at least one of them knew Rody from college

(I have a feeling that they wouldn't have gotten along very well in college due to how the others described their college personalites but I like the idea of enemies to lovers, or an unlikley pairing college au and since Rody is both bi and biphobic that would be a cool plot point. Also, a love triangle between manon, vince, and Rody)

- Rody never gets sick and has extremely excellent and can survive eating food that is literally years old

(Two different routes, vince see rody eating like this and personally handles it, or vince gets sick/food poisoning and rody takes care of him)

- Vince is a lightweight

(Can lead to him revealing his plans to rody or smth else)

- If Vince managed to succeed in executing his plan and then realized that it didn't actually bring back his taste, he surprisingly would become haunted by the fact he killed two people. Rody, on the other hand, would willingly hide a body if Manon had told him to

(It's an interesting thing to think about because it means that Vince is less crazy than we thought, but Rody might be the opposite. It makes me wonder whether or not Rody actually cared that much after he killed Vince and only cared that manon was dead. It honestly didn't seem like it. Also Stalker and/or yandere Rody would be cool.)

- Vince wears contacts, and on the occasion that he looses them, he wears glasses

(I feel like Rody would find this cute or smth, and then question why he felt that way)

-Vincent has insecurities about the absence of emotional depth in his food.

(Rody canoniclly calls Vince out on this, and we see vince is visibly upset. Maybe a fic where Vince's food progressively gets better as he gets closer to Rody and rody starts complimenting the food and enjoying eating it)

- The guitar in his possession was originally used by his father to propose to his mother and was later gifted to him with the expectation of a similar romantic gesture.

(So much fucking potential here, like they play their instruments together, or Vince listens to Rody play and realizes he's inlove, or Rody directs said romantic gesture at Vince)

- Rody is presumably born into a middle- class family that experiences enough financial problems that he dropped out of college despite being a gifted child

(Vince helping out with the money troubles would be so cute)

Other fun facts:

- If Vincent never met Rody, he would have led a successful life, building a business empire, gaining worldwide fame, and passing away on May 17th, 2013, at the age of 68-73 without experiencing romantic love

- Vincent had consumed worms during his childhood

- Vince processes all his food into smoothies as the texture of solid food grosses him out

- The reward dishes presented at the end of shifts are exclusively crafted by Vince, not the chefs, and are specifically tailored for Rody.

- Vincent used to have a long hair in college.

- Although Vincent dislikes the rat in his kitchen, Vincent generally exhibits kindness towards animals.

[sakitenmaenjoyer]

4 the fic ask thing if u want to share info on any or all of them I would clap and cheer

fuck yeah

emunene little mermaid au: ive talked about this like once, but it's basically what it sounds like. emu is a princess; nene is a mermaid

plot stuff, emu goes on a ship, emu is saved by nene when her ship goes down, and she's very !!!! when she realizes that nene is the one with the singing voice she'd been hearing right after her grandpa died. unfortunately she is half delirious when she's saved and doesn't remember how nene looks. emu vows to look for the beautiful lady with the beautiful voice....

ruinene and emukasa would be the platonic pairings in the fic. i considered having tsukasa be emu's fiance? if only to parallel the original story. nene won't stab tsukasa. probably. but she does find him deeply annoying at first. he and emu might be close enough to consider a marriage of convenience...still havent figured that part out yet. nene gets less annoyed by tsukasa when she sees why he's emu's friend

rui is the sea witch, and he helps nene become temporarily human.

i dont have any of it fleshed out but i want to do something with the idea so bad. emu dragging nene to see the sights of the human world and to socialize.......nene being emu's company for longer than either knew. nene realizing the value of her voice when it's gone....she thought being silent wouldn't be any different from normal, but emu made her want to talk, and to sing, to yell and laugh. she wants to have an our happy ending moment with emu but she can't

rui angst fic/TtSaB/Working Title: "When faced with the unthinkable, Rui struggles to navigate old feelings and new fears. Fortunately, he has his friends by his side... it's just a matter of letting them in."

this is a fic ive been chipping at had since curtain call came to en LMAO. i asked 'hey can i have curtain call rui please please please ill write and post that fic idea i have' and rui came home in a single pull. so im legally bound to write and post it eventually. here's some of the scenes ive done

actual dogshit writing lmao. but yeah this fic is more serious than any of my other prsk ideas. i wanted rui to have at least one important scene with each wxs member, because their friendship is at the core of this. also wanted to include the vocaloids bc it's not project sekai without them....even if the idea of talking about your personal problems to hatsune miku is. well.

the plot and title is under wraps for the time being, but here's my notes on how i want to characterize rui

the fic should be 8 chapters. It's teetering between a Teen Rating and a Mature Rating, but I should probably write the rest before deciding anything...

other:

whenever im bored, i format unwritten fic ideas into stories on ao3. ive written absolutely almost nothing for either of these, but it's nice to imagine i have lmao

But I'm Still Here: Saki goes invisible, and everyone around her proceeds to freak out as they search for the 'missing' girl. includes tsukasa ping ponging between 'we'll find her, we have to' and 'it's so fucking over', leo/need trkes and failing not to fall into depression, and saki feeling guilty that Everyone's lives are put on hold for her. the original idea was set before they debut, but maybe it should be after (so toya would have surpassed rad weekend already lmao).

everyone who adores saki makes themselves sick with worry. especially since it lasts about a week. tsukasa has not been that anxious in his fucking life. he's coping...fine. he's doesn't throw himself down while wailing at least. and he doesnt vomit from stress (preventing both takes a lot of self control). leo/need try to be strong for each other, but they are all sad shivering dogs. shiho wants to punch to be useful but knows she can't do anything. ichika tries to stay hopeful, like saki would want. honami tries to be their calm leader...but theyre like, 16/17, so theyre all just anxious.

Phthonus: Rui is envious and sad the fic, rip bozo. it'd be an introspective fic. i'd want rui to subconsciously compare and contrast himself and bakuno, and come to the realization that tsukasa (romantically) likes the parts of bakuno that rui doesn't have (bakuno's timidness, his lack of confidence, his acting, his ability to not annoy tsukasa lmao). but he also has traits that rui does have (his passion for theatre, obsession with writing stories, talent above his age range, the ability to bounce ideas off of tsukasa)

tsukasa still loves rui, but he never saw him in a romantic light. if he ever did, then it's too late....tsukasa set his eyes on bakuno and went "i can fix him". and unfortunately, tsukasa isn't polyamorous. rui deals with the heartache every time he sees tsukasa, even though it hurts him. he loves him too much to ever look away

uhh other stuff without titles-

bakuno/tsukasa fic, maybe a kotaro/akito fic. they would be in a series about the npcs waxing poetic about the ocs. throw in some pairings like miyake & rui, otori siblings & emu, yukki and mizuki, nagi and an....but the first fic would be bakukasa because i like them a lot lmao

Another rui is jealous fic, but it ends in rks- bakuno and tsukasa sign up to be gay lovers in a short film and rui's clenches his teeth and tries not to mope over it. (he is the one that asked them to do it) he does not know why and thinks there's something wrong with the film/acting rather than himself. he's stupid. meanwhile tsukasa is slowly realizing he likes men bc of gay research he did... and while he thinks bakuno is cute, he's immediately hit in the face that he likes rui a Lot.

saki in mogami land fic- saki gets isekaid in a hell world where everyone hates her/doesn't know her. i cant decide yet. maybe both. tsukasa and her parents say mean shit to her, ichika avoids her, her favorite idol doesn't even know who she is. the ending is her going back to her normal world, where she proceeds to be crushed by tsukasa and her parents (she went missing for a week. tsukasa cries the hardest at her reappearance... though her parents aren't too far behind) this is another "i want to show saki how loved she is by taking it away from her" fic

ruikasa are fucking dumb fic - tsukasa confesses to rui, they get together, and then things go down hill because neither know how to act in a new relationship. tsukasa wants to be a good boyfriend, so he treats rui differently (in a way that bothers rui). he's probably sweet and nice and doting, which rui like, but it feels more like a role tsukasa wants to perfect. rui wants tsukasa to be himself. at the same time, rui also wants to be a good boyfriend, but becomes aware that he has no idea how to do that...so instead he subconsciously tests their relationship, wondering just how far he could push tsukasa to get him to go back to "normal". the conclusion is that theyre stupid and just needed to adjust and realize nothing changed

future wxs meets present wxs - there r so many ideas i have for this it'd fucking ridiculous. the most prominent one is future rks meeting present wxs. another one is 3rd anni tsukasa meeting pre wonder magical showtime tsukasa

wxs takes care of child wxs - due to sekai bs, there are teenage wxs and child wxs. they all take turns and interact with the kids...tsukasa and baby rui & nene and baby rui would be cute i think. my ideas are

1) baby rui getting sad that tsukasa said his ideas are too dangerous (he's literally five and wants to jump from a high place). tsukasa feels guilty about his sad little face and offers to do it for rui. cue rui's excitement that an adult wants to try his idea

2) baby rui looks at grown nene like a proud parent and says 'i'm so proud of you nene' and nene goes 'you're literally five. also youve told me that before.' she still says thank you though, bc it's cute and she's fond

child/middle school wxs meets emu's grandpa - rakunosuke shows up during difficult times in tsukasa/rui/nene's lives and helps them smile. none of them remember him, but during that moment, he's a bright light. maybe some emu/rakunosuke parallels?

kamiyama group during mizuki5 - i made a post abt this already, but a silly fun fic to what fun everyone had at the festival. nobody knows mizuki is suffering. very bittersweet

saki helps tsukasa get ready for a date with rui - saki gives tsukasa questionable dating advice and tsukasa ends up botching date with rui (rui doesnt care). includes tsukasa trying to be a gentleman, saki getting love advice from manga and magazines, and rui having a good time watching tsukasa fumble be a gentleman

arcland rui - canon rui wakes up in universe where he joined arcland and asahi. it shows an alternative path rui could have taken, and how that path would have been every bit as valid as keeping wxs together

...unfortunately, rui isn't happy with this because wxs disbanded and he doesn't talk to them as often. he doesn't even go to school with them anymore. (also he has a situationship thing with asahi And tsukasa but he doesn't notice either of them lmao)

i probably have others but these are the ones that come to mind first...hope this is all okay!

[wasyago]

Dear Wasyago,

Strange, I have always thought it was spelled as Wasayago. But recently I've realized, I can't read very well.

I want to send appreciation today, to you.

You've taught me a lot about art. You've taught me a lot how to draw certain things, and you have opened my eyes to new perspective of art, ever since I started following you. Colours are brighter, I experiment more, I can see a specter of visuals that was previously hidden from me. It's like gaining shrimp colors.

Your art feels like an art classroom. There's sun pouring in from the windows, and there's tree leaves in front of them. Every time you come in you see different art projects. Paints add on to the tables, that will never scrub off again. There's dirty cups with paint water, and brushes, in the sink. It's lunch break, and there's people here. Some are just doing their math homework right before class, some are working on their sculpture, some are picking out paints, some are working on their new piece, on a fresh canvas. And it is so alive.

Your art feels so alive. Like the leaves, the people, the stains. It's really nice to see, every single time you post, how lovingly you bring a character into the world (My favorite so far is that one doodle of Modern au Gillion eating noodles, I have it in my favorites gallery).

I would like to see some unfinished, maybe forever to be so, doodles that you weren't especially proud of. We'll love it all.

Respectfully,

Marcus Bloodsmith

oh, thank you so much, this is so sweet qwq

im happy to know that you feel this way about my art, and im glad i could help you with some advice! it feels a bit weird to show unfinished or scrapped art under such a nice message, but yeah why not. and its funny that you mentioned the gillion eating noodles one, because its also one of the pieces that i really didn't like and didn't want to post hdgsh. i dont have that many unfinished drawings left because i delete or redraw most of them, but i have a couple that might be fun to share... and i guess it's gonna be a long post bc i wanna tell a little about each one or at least name them.

there's this art of chip, the first time i properly tried to figure out a way to draw him back when i just started listening. redrew this piece later, kept the sketch on the left, but the right one i changed completely because i didn't like the vibe this one has.

there's this attempt at redesigning caspian after i found out he was a water genasi, plus the first version of that art of caspian, pretzel and gill. this design didn't feel "caspian" enough, it looked too soft and kind where i wanted him to be more layed back and chill and sarcastic and with a bit of an edge. redrew both pieces later. the underwater drawing also has an unfinished background in this version, i added some fishies later so it didn't feel that empty.

some random sketch of gillion to show off how the lightning scars look on his face and neck. i quite like it, but it didn't really fit in the post with three proper drawings and one sketch so i decided to scrap it.

there's this drawing where i tried to figure out how the capital of the undersea looked like. i really didn't know where i was going with it and didn't have a good idea when i started drawing, so its a mess of things with nothing to really focus on. i tried to add a character on it later to breathe some life into it, but it didn't work out since i didn't focus it on the character from the beginning. plus i don't like how the colors turned out, and the entire concept of the environment feels weak and boring to me. i still want to draw more concepts of the undersea and try a couple other ideas, but probably at a later date...

the first version of whatever try it was to design gill's armor. (fun fact, i have more armor designs scheduled for tomorrow). this one i redrew almost immediately, i really didn't like how it turned out and how the legs were cut off and it looked so messy with no real accent point or personality. plus the smaller copy of the drawing in the corner just didn't look good. im not exactly proud of the redrawn version either (that's why i did another one yesterday lol), but im glad i redrew it anyway, it looks a lot better than this one.

the first sketch of that one gillion drawing. i couldn't figure out the colors for it for so long and wanted to drop the idea entirely. but i left it to sit for a couple hours and eventually got the motivation to come back to it and finish it. for most of the illustration pieces i did for jrwi there were multiple versions, where i just didn't like the first one and redrew the whole thing with a different composition and colors. didn't save any of those drawings tho...

this drawing of jay but with green wings and a slightly different color shirt. it was actually the first version of this drawing, and i changed the colors to blue later. wanted to post both of them side by side but then decided against it. that's why this drawing survived and was properly saved and not just deleted.

more recent attempts at designing the chaingel. i like the concept, and the pose in the second sketch is pretty badass, but the execution is just not there. it doesn't feel right, doesn't have the right kind of vibe that this character gives off. so im sure i will try and draw her later when i figure out what's missing and how to show her personality in the way it feels in my head. but these two sketches were never going to see the light of day, so now they're here.

aand this is it, this is everything that wasn't deleted in the past month for one or another reason. i feel like im more chill with deleting and redrawing things, so a lot of initial sketches and concepts never get saved or seen by anyone. im also on mobile so i can attach only ten files lol. not that it matters, the last two were just random figure drawings for warm up, not much to talk about.

[yakuzacanons]

ya dont have to answer this one cause it might be a bit silly goin to headcanons blog for this but idk ireally like ur blog ur posts always cheer me up. ive had a rough day and idk i thought it might be nice to hear how ya think these characters would try and comfort and/or cheer up their partner, yknow, make em feel better?

This is actually a great double feature to my last post which was specifically about comforting their partner on their period. That one was kind of more focused on their partner feeling physically unwell so this one will be more catered to their partner feeling emotionally unwell, if that makes sense and if that's okay.

Also, I'm sorry to hear you had a rough day and I genuinely hope you feel better. I don't think it's silly at all to ask for these kinds of things, we all have to do what we gotta do and happiness comes in all kinds of forms, so if this is one of those forms, I'm happy to be of service. I'm also sorry this post took a bit to get too as I've been rather busy but I didn't forget you dear anon! Thanks for your ask, headcanons beneath the cut as always.

I'll get to the rest of the asks in my inbox tomorrow, so good night my sweet sweet friends! Thanks as always for your kind words and asks, I really love writing these and sharing these with you. Goog nitey.

Kazuma Kiryu

He understands all too well what it's like to feel down and out. Having said that, Kiryu won't try to cheer you up right away or distract you as he believes getting to the bottom of what's bothering you is more important. Regardless of it's a rough day at work or if someone made a rude remark at you, he wants to hear you out. He is THE best listener, he never interrupts.

His very first action always is to give you a long, warm hug. How often Kiryu wishes he could've been held during his darkest and toughest moments, so now he pays that forward to others who need it. If you cry, he'll tell you it's okay and to let it all out.

Now that you've gotten that all out, it's time for him to cheer you up. Nothing makes Kiryu feel better more than a hearty meal so he'll offer to get food at your favorite place, his treat. If you'd rather stay home, then he'll do his best to cook something up for you. Maybe Haruka and the other kids at Morning Glory will get in on it and clamber to help him out in the kitchen, which you can't help but smile at. You're truly surrounded by loving and caring people.

Majima Goro

Now, if the issue was caused by someone else, his first reaction will be to go give them a nice talking to a.k.a. kicking them really hard. If you're down with that, he will actually go do it but if you're not, he'll grumble and say "Fiiine... only 'cuz you said not to."

Eventually, his thoughts will turn to finding ways to make you smile. Majima is a bit more of a "forget your troubles" guy, sometimes more than he'd like to admit. If there's nothing particular that you want, then he'll just start trying things until you crack a smile at his earnest attempts, to which he'll say "Ah, there's that adorable smile!" before giving you a hug and a kiss.

If you cry, Majima will actually become quite serious. More than anyone, he's felt so many times in his life like he was on the verge of tears but he's always held them back. He'll drop everything to comfort you through the tears, quietly reminding you to take deep breaths and just holding you until it's over.

Akiyama Shun

He believes rest is the ultimate medicine, especially when you're feeling bad. Nothing works wonders more than a warm shower and a nice, long sleep. Granted, he is the king of being exhausted so maybe he's projecting just a little bit here.

As goofy as Akiyama can be, he's pretty good at hearing you out. However, he might be somewhat oblivious and slow to notice you're not feeling your best. Once he realizes it, he'll apologize for not noticing sooner and ask what he can do to help.

If some alone time is what you need, he's absolutely not offended. Akiyama knows when to back off and won't pester you and ask if you're sure you want to be alone. He trusts your intuition on that and won't put his ego before your feelings. After all, to him, that is the very meaning of loving someone else.

Saejima Taiga

Out of all the boys, he's going to feel the worst when he sees you're feeling down. Some part of him just feels bad that he wasn't able to prevent whatever it was that hurt or upset you. Saejima has major protective vibes and he'll always wonder if he could be doing more.

In the end, making sure you're okay is more important to him. Saejima is pretty mature and he'll be able to push through those weird self doubting feelings in his own time. He'll gently hold you but won't pressure you to tell him what happened. If you want to, he'll listen intently although he may not always know what to say in response, especially if you want advice, as he doesn't think his life experiences necessarily line up with most people.

Definitely the type of guy to say things like "I'm here for you, okay?" and really mean it. If you ever need a shoulder to cry on, Saejima is your guy. After all, he has giant shoulders.

Tanimura Masayoshi

His life experiences have made him very empathetic and he will be able to really connect with you if you talk about your problems verbally. Where he struggles is if you don't talk about it because he doesn't want to force it but also doesn't really know what to do unless he has some direction to go in.

If you don't want to talk about it, he'll just sit next to you in silence. He doesn't want to just fill the space with his words, so instead he'll just lean his head against yours, taking deep breaths with you. Tanimura will stay for as long as you need, just so you know that you're not alone in this.

He's down to get some food at Homeland once you feel ready to get back up and out there. Tanimura is very food oriented and nothing makes him feel better than a nice meal, especially since Zhao and Mei Hua are always so welcoming and kind. He has a very infectious smile and he notices that you light up a bit when he smiles, so he'll try to do something fun with you like eat food or maybe play a video game at his place. By the end of the night, you'll both be grinning ear to ear.

Ryuji Goda

Secretly, he's also a "Show me who upset you and I'll give them a real nice talking to" type of guy but he's better at keeping that under wraps than Majima is. Of course, if it's not a particular person bothering you, that's where he stumbles a bit. He's never been great at just talking about things, like giving advice.

He'll refute any thoughts of self doubt you have. Did someone make fun of your hair? "They were probably bald 'n ugly themselves anyways, the hell would they know?". Do you feel self conscious about your weight? "I'll have you know that yer damn perfect as ya are." Ryuji loves you for you, for better and for worse, so what he lacks in advice or long talk sessions he makes up for with pep talks.

He's the type of man to kiss your forehead and ruffle your hair while holding a box of tissues while you cry. Ryuji rarely if ever felt safe crying in front of others before and honestly wishes he had spaces like that when he was younger, so he takes care to make sure that you feel completely safe in letting those feelings out if you need to.

Nishikiyama Akira

King of self care. Self care is the solution to everything. Nothing makes it all better like looking AND feeling good. It might sound shallow but Nishiki tries to make it fun in some ways, like getting face masks with silly colors or faces printed on them.

Out of all of the boys, he's best at gossip. If you're someone who wants to go on a long rant about all the stuff bugging you, he's all ears. If someone in particular is bugging you, he'll interject with "Oh, she did NOT" or "They did WHAT?" every so often.

He won't ever get violent. He might feel frustrated that he can't really do more than just hear you out or distract you with something silly but that won't stop him from trying at least. If you have suggestions or things you want, he's all ears though.

Daigo Dojima

The gentlest boy there ever was. He's the most perceptive of all the boys, able to immediately spot if his partner is feeling off that day. He'll always ask you about it in private, making sure to never embarrass you, softly asking "Honey, are you alright?"

If you're at a work related function and it's obvious that you're overwhelmed, Daigo will excuse you both from the event early and bring you home so you can have a safe place to decompress. When he's at work and if he knows you've been having a bad day, he'll call from his office and say "Hey honey, I just wanted to see how you were feeling". He makes himself as available as possible, always looking out for your welfare.

Daigo is really in tune with your needs and quite attentive to the things that make you happy, the things that bother you, and the like. When you're having a bad day, you'll hardly have to ask for a thing. If you're a stay at home and lay in bed all day person, he'll bring your favorite drink in and sit on the bedside while listening to you talk. If you'd rather go out, just say the word and he'll be out front with his private car ready to go wherever you want as soon as he can slip away from work.

Mine Yoshitaka

He often feels helpless in situations like this. If it were up to him, every day would be the best day possible for you. He doesn't necessarily feel like a failure but he definitely feels your pain and sadness, wishing he could just magically make it all go away.

His best skill is reassuring you. If you ask if you're actually good at something, the answer is yes. If you feel like you're failing at something new, he'll say something like "The important thing is that you're trying, and I admire that about you". He's very steady in supporting you with things like chasing your dreams, no matter how hard the road may be.

He's probably the most practical when it comes to interpersonal issues, likely a direct result of his type of work. He's good at helping you iron out tough situations, like an awkward conversation with a friend. His deep understanding of you combined with his solid reasoning skills allows him to give you a pretty good outside perspective on those kinds of situations, provided you want him to of course. Mine wouldn't offer you advice without asking if you wanted it first. Also the type of guy to wipe away your tears for you.

[moonstruckme]

Hey bub, i have another (😭) idea for you. So sorry, i have no clue how many you have from me at this stage. Pls dont feel pressured to write any of them; i just get an idea/story line in my head and send it to you after a few days of it stewing before it gives me a headache 😫

But anyway, the idea is: James and Lily have just started dating but shes starting to feel a little weird about your (Ravenclaw!reader) relationship with him. From her perspective youre always around him; are openly affectionate with him (but nothing over the top); make him little presents; spend holidays with him etc. but its not enough for her to think hes cheating, just to make her a little uncomfortable.

She asks the girls if maybe shes the weird one here and overthinking it but someone passing by butts in and says how youre the same with Sirius and its why he wouldnt date her (we know thats not why) but it makes Lily a little more uncomfortable so she decides to confront James.

So she does and hes just silently in shock because "what?!" But the longer he stays quiet the more embarrassed/anxious/irritated lily gets. Then you start giggling, coming in at the tail of the conversation unnoticed, and explain to Lily that youre James cousin but youve lived with your aunt & uncle most of your life so hes more of a brother (+Sirius since hes moved in). Then to lessen the tension you loosen your tie and show her the hickeys down your neck "plus im dating Remmy, and he doesnt share well." Cue the fake gagging from James and Sirius, Lilys giggles and Remus' gentle scolding before "and if anythings, James should be concerned. I might just steal you from right under his nose 😉" Cue James indignation, Sirius' cackling, Remus' chuckles and more of Lily's giggles.

Again, pls dont feel pressured to write anything love but thanks for taking the time to read it 🧡.

Also i feel like i send enough of these that ill probs add a question at the bottom of each one and if you want to you can give me one in return if you write the idea??

First ones basic; whats your favourite colour? I like to say mine is red but i tend to gravitate towards for more earthy colours when i have to pick one for something xx

Hi my angel! This is another one I kept in my inbox for like over a month and just couldn't figure out how I'd write it (I totally know the headache feeling you mean too, there's some stuff I have to write before my brain explodes), but the public has to see!!! I lovelovelove how you portrayed Lily in this; I feel like there's too many jealous!Lily fics out there for my taste, because she seems like such a girl's girl! Like even though she's a bit insecure about reader and James' relationship, she's still going about it in the nicest and most careful way (like checking with other people before accusing James of anything and trying to be rational about it) and I just feel like that's SO her.

Q+A portion: I'm a purple gal! Very stereotpyical purple gal in that I don't think I actually have that many purple things but then some days I'll go outside and realize I've got on my purple sweater, purple socks, and purple little earbud case attatched to my tote. I totally get the earth tones thing though, I feel like they're so easy to pair together so most of my closet and decor is in earth tones too :)

[dykephan]

hi, totally agree with you about the december getting together thing and just wanted to add on to a few points. One about online perceptions and stuff is they mightve both wanted to have this appearance of a cool, sexy, mysterious, emo guy on the internet who is "mature" and has casual sex all the time nbd lol and not wanting to seem clingy. Its kind of embarrasing to want more sometimes (its cheesy, its meant to be). For Dan I also dont think he would want Phil to see him as an obsessed fan (also the age thing) so putting up a nonchalant front would help put them on more even footing. For Phil its just like you already said mainly and not wanting to scare Dan off, following Dan's lead. Also Dan just getting out of a longterm relationship and being 18 he might not have been inclined to tie himself down quick when he was single for the first time in a bit, especially to someone who lives far away, but then obv realized this thing with Phil wasnt just going to be some casual fling. Also lol this "reveal" was not weird/ suprising to me bcos of my own experience of being with this girl for like 3 ish months had been friends previously we were having sex and saying we loved eachother etc but whole time being like we're not dating though lol

oh 100% agree, especially when you're at that age it's sooo embarrassing to admit you do want to find someone who cares about you and enriches your life and shares a future with you... it's so much easier to flirt with strangers online and pretend you're too cool to feel any particular way about it. like you said, i think it comes down to both of them realizing that this was not going to be some casual fling. and 2 months is honestly no time at all considering how much they had to think about & plan for!!

also yeah i agree it wasn't surprising to me it was more just like. first of all like holy shit why are you sharing this information with me unprompted are you sure you meant to say that?? second of all, i guess i didn't KNOW until i KNEW. it's one thing to look at the things they posted around that time period and make guesses, but hearing it out loud made me feel sooooo dumbfounded. idk why but that one hit me way harder than the tour bus thing...

anyway let me share a personal anecdote here because it's only fair after i've invaded their privacy i should embarrass myself a little fksjfks many years ago i started talking to a tumblr mutual and we got super close as friends, we spent literally hours talking every night and we'd even fall asleep on skype just to be with each other. i told her things i have still never told anyone else in my life. and ofc there was heavyy flirting which was fun except i have horrible commitment issues.. doing all this online didn't feel as scary and real to me. but then we made plans to actually travel and meet up, and i started getting. idk. itchy 😭 but i did go across the country to meet her and it was such a perfect weekend, she was so funny and beautiful and even more magnetic in person. it clarified my feelings about her in a way that chatting online never could, but also it scared the shit out of me and so when that weekend was over i went back home and i told her i couldn't do it anymore and that was it. we tried to be friends after that but it just wasn't the same and neither of us had our hearts in it. i still think about her and hope she's doing well but we haven't talked in years

so basically i'm living in the dark dan and phil timeline where they filmed pinof and then said okay bye dude 👍🏻 fuck my stupid baka life

[dreamsy990]

hey u have ocs? information?llllong post? please if u have like. info on them? or just doodles idk

hi sorry this has been sitting in my inbox for a while bc i keep forgetting it exists but uh!!! sure !!!! theres not much interesting stuff here though so im just gonna ramble in whatever order i feel like. unless theyre like a group or something

so copper and omen my wof ocs probably have the least to say? because i dont have any sort of story for them at all. copper is a silkwing with some anxiety issues and omen is her girlfriend who has VERY bad trust issues. not sure how they get together but i think maybe omen couldve helped protect copper from a disaster and thats how they met? which sort of plays into omens main thing, which is that she's a nightwing who was hatched under a bloodmoon. so within wof lore as stated by our lord and savior tui t sutherland, she can see the future, but only disasters. in my head shes kinda a cassandra or goosefeather figure where shes almost always right about her visions unless something is done explicitly to prevent them from coming true, but nobody believes her. idk i have way less for copper than omen but they are a pair and im not allowed to seperate them.

my other significant wof oc is frostbite. does he exist in the same universe as copper and omen? maybe idk. they might have a cool adventure together with some other characters if i ever feel like it. tbh all 3 of these guys were just design practice for me so all story is just kind of random thoughts. anyways so frostbite was actually adapted from an old character from an rp group i was in. originally he was an icewing/nightwing and a weird old man who hides in the woods and definitely does murder. but hes basically a completely different guy now so thats mostly irrelevant. anyways so the half nightwing part became half leafwing (not on purpose i just forgot he wasnt always a leafwing). and i have a very, very rough idea for his story. for context since idk how much you know about wof, icewings have a caste system for aristocrats called circles, numbered 1-7, and your ranking can change based on how much you "embody the ideal qualities of an icewing", so theres a lot of pressure put on icewings to be as perfect as possible. anyways, i think frostbites dad was probably in the first circle when he had an affair with a leafwing. normally that would probably be enough to get him kicked out of the aristocracy entirely, but somehow (probably through a combination of being close to the queen, maybe as an advisor or maybe just an old friend? as well as having been high ranking for his entire life before that) he was allowed to return along with the son he had with that leafwing, but as punishment dropped to the bottom of the seventh circle. and frostbite is that son! cursed to never feel fully like an icewing, and always struggle to make himself seem worthy of being there at all. hes pretty hotheaded (NOT a very icewing trait, as others love to point out) and while he definitely knows hes getting much harsher treatment than others get for no reason other than his leafwing side, hes still trying his best to fit into society. its not exactly going well for him because it feels like no matter how perfect he is, thats always at least a couple steps behind the worst "real" icewing. anyways, something happens, i dont know how, but he manages to get out of the ice kingdom for a bit, and probably goes on an adventure with some friends, and realizes just how fucking stifling that place was. and then he never goes back. idk hes sort of like winter if he had more daddy issues.

ummm. colorux isnt real. ok but actually colorux is a joke oc i share custody of with ridragon. she is a gremlin, gay, british, and a member of organization xiii. shes probably friends with luxord because luxord is also british. thats it.

MY DND GUYS NATHAN AND DUST!! i have a lot more for nathan so. dust is a tabaxi paladin with an oath of devotion. the campaign she was supposed to be part of was a war one, so i wasnt sure how much rp there was gonna be, so i only came up with enough that i would have something to work with if it ever did happen. so that mostly means her personality. shes probably autistic, she struggles to hold a conversation very well, and very much leans towards the stoic side, although she loves collecting shiny things whenever she can and if you get her talking about her collection she can talk for hours. she also has a strong sense of justice (hence the oath of devotion), and will try to do what she thinks is right no matter the cost. thats dust!! fun fact about her she was NOT inspired by dust from dust an elysian tail them both being cat people and paladin equivalents and having similar personalities and the same name. that was actually a complete coincidence which i think is hilarious.

nathan is probably the one i have the most story for!! so backstory about them, i made him up on the spot for a dnd campaign that sort of fizzled out. i had forgotten to make a character sheet so i just found a list of premade ones and boom!! nathan. theyre a drow rogue and i made them specifically to fit as few rogue stereotypes as possible. i like to think he grew up somewhere around upper middle class, with no real reason to get into crime since it's not like he needed anything in particular, but he was a stupid kid with stupid friends and too much time on his hands!! so he and his best friend who does not have a name im so sorry. my brain is saying maurice and i think thats funny so their friend is named maurice now. anyways so nathan and maurice started doing petty crime as a passtime!! they were pretty good at it too, if you asked them. and then something went wrong. i dont know exactly how it would happen, but somewhere along the line in their stupidest crime yet, things went wrong, and nathan panicked, and ran away, leaving maurice all alone to deal with the cops. what happened? nathan doesnt know. but it fucked him up man. its been like 30 years and hes STILL beating himself up about it. he became a lot more cowardly, avoiding risk and running away from things whenever he can, they try to avoid getting attached to people so he doesnt feel bad when he instinctively pushes them in front of danger so he can avoid it, and hes just generally a disaster. also theyre scared of spiders. i love them.

and uhhh that just leaves angie, rea, and charlotte. so for context, my original idea for these guys was a sort of depressing game about accepting the inevitable, but theyve honestly become way more sweet since then so!!!! angie and rea are reapers, and their jobs are to guide the dead to the underworld. and theyre also roommates! but not gay. angie is aroace. rea is probably aspec too now that i think about it. little bit of fun detail about them, angie tends to take jobs where shes guiding assholes, and she loves trying to make their trips as terrifying as possible. shes not good at being empathetic!! rea on the other hand. is terrible at being scary. so she mostly gets jobs with kids, and she goes through as much effort as she can to make sure they're NOT scared. kind of opposites to angie but idk i think theyre cute. anyways, charlotte is not a reaper. shes actually just a little girl, probably 8-10 or so. reas job is to guide her, but when she gets to charlotte, she realizes charlotte's not actually dead. shes on the edge, she could slip over at any time, but shes not dead. rea realizes if she brings charlotte to the underworld there's no chance she'll ever be able to wake up again, but if she doesn't, then maybe charlotte has a chance. so instead, she takes charlotte home with her, to the inbetween. so oops!! surprise child aquisition. personality wise, charlottes probably that sort of sassy little kid. you know the type. she isnt scared of angie in the slightest!! actually, shes not scared of ANYTHING, if you ask her. idk theyre a fun little trio in my head

theres probably someone else im forgetting buut if im forgetting they cant be that important. anyways im not really in a drawing mood rn but i might add art later. but idk my oc tags are literally just #name (oc) so just do that if you wanna find my art of them. i dont draw them much. also i need to redesign some of them. ALSO I DONT HAVE A CHARLOTTE DESIGN FUCK.

[angelicpersonals]

Personal Vent pt.1

This is about friendships and just general life lately I think from now on im gonna use 💚 in discord for friends that I know are green flags I can always count on and trust. Was tempted to also do ❤️ for those I know I can't but then it might be obvious im doing red flag green flag.

So lately I realized some friends just make me uncomfy. Ill be really honest. I see everyones flaws, including my own. I just don't bring up other peoples flaws because I find it rude to do unless they hurt me or someone else bc jfc.

I ask people very clearly "Just tell me when you aren't feeling up to listening to anything negative, be it when we share-trauma dump or gossip about drama. Whatever. " Like I know boundaries, I know how to respect them. But they have to be told to me ffs.

However people rather than tell me do one of two things A. never say anything until it boils over and turned into drama later B. delay saying anything until randomly hitting me mid convo (A MUTUAL CONVO BTW) with borderline shaming / self victimization even tho THEY were just trauma dumping on me and I was just relating back. WHY IS IT SO HARD TO OFF THE BAT TELL ME WHAT YOU CAN AND CANT HANDLE. For F*CKS SAKE. But nah instead you pile on me later on like I purposefully did it to you guilting and shaming me. Nice real nice.

For context: My friend lets call them R. Trauma dumps to me A LOT, I relate to them with my own trauma. Its how we bonded in the first place, we talk about plenty other topics and leading up to this I was wholly open and honest about my boundaries and encouraged the same and even respected the few shared with me. Well I get hit yesterday with this whole f*cking "Oh yeah dont talk to me about this topic it makes me feel really horrible to hear about this thing or talk about it. Respect my boundaries." then went into a whole spiel about how they have had so many "sh*tty friends who dont" The boundaries YOU NEVER TOLD ME THE BOUNDARIES I ASKED ABOUT 9 TIMES PRIOR to make sure you were okay with it in previous convos? The topic YOU started unprompted? The topic YOU trauma dumped on? The topic we have been on NUMEROUS times before and you had weeks of constant chatting to say something and NEVER did? Straight up they could have said "Hey sorry im usually okay with this but aint feeling it today" But ffs comparing me to their ex friends out of the blue as thought im purposefully messing with them. When THEY were the one who INITIATED, THEY were the one who asked me questions on the topic THEY were the one who wouldn't tell me PRIOR about these boundaries.

I talk to a few friends about this. They push the blame on me telling me I have to ask more about boundaries. Like im sorry did yo uall miss the fact THEY INTIATED IT AND EGGED ME INTO THE CONVO? or no?

I f*cking hate most my friends, there I said it. They make me feel like sh*t I'll leave pt.1 here and make a pt.2

[tojisun]

hi, im the hwwl fan who needed a cigarette. now i’m here to say this.

if hwwl has one hundred fans, i am one of them. if hwwl has one fans, i am the one. if hwwl has no fans, i’m dead.

i cannot stress enough how good it is, even if the content comes to us in such short bursts because you pack so much pain in there and it makes me tear my hair out (pos) but also cradle your writing because it’s sooooo good.

hwwl was not ur first work i stumbled upon, but it definitely was the one that drew me in. even if you stop writing for it at some point, this series has dug such a deep hole into my heart and i will never let it go.

ty for sharing ur writing when u didn’t need to, u truly are such a great writer and all your works (hwwl especially) showcase that so so clearly

ps, ur writing has inspired me to make my own! i won’t be sharing bcs it is quite personal, but i just thought you should know how positive of an impact your writing has :)

hi oh my god this made me sob (/pos) thank you so so much my love 🥹

it’s. well. it was honestly not a work i used to proudly endorse because of how short-burst it is, but to see such positive and kind and loving reactions make my heart melt and i’m so eternally grateful for you (all) so much!!

i dont think im done with hwwl yet, not with how much more there is to be established, but im also sorry that i cant promise consistent posting for the fic. but even then, thank you for ur understanding and patience!!

tbh i just wanted to indulge that itch in my brain and so i wrote the first part, then the next, and then every detail in between was just left up in the air—sometimes, though, i realize i should’ve written this instead of that—but still, to see hwwl read and loved just makes it so much fun to write it!! so really, i dont think i can thank you enough 🥺

and oh my god? im so so touched and grateful to have inspired you with writing!!! my heart is a wobbly mess right now and im honoured to be, have been, part of your writing journey. i wish you the best and the loveliest in your life and writings!! thank you again, no matter how repetitive it might sound because really, thank you so much!!

take care my love and thank you for stopping by 🥹🫶🏼

[honeybeewhereartthee]

Idol! Streamer! Aira Shiratori x Reader

[Animal crossing (?) ps. I dont play animal crossing, so it's not accurate. Sowwy]

Aira is playing animal crossing with the usual visitor of his island which known as alkaloidFan101

"woah that person is here again.... " He look at the dancing avatar of alkaloidfan101 in his island that is wearing a custom that is base on his recent shuffle Collab last December.

"their outfit most be design by them because I never seen this in shops! HOW L-O-V-E-L-Y!" He can't help but smile widely, his live chat also comment how that outfit seems very well made.

Alkaloidfan101: hihi

AiraShiratori: hello~~~

Alkaloidfan101: your username looks like one of my fav idols. Do you wanna marry me?

"h-huh... SO FAST?" his face turn red in shock that he get proposed by a stranger in game, through he don't know if the player his talking too, knows his really the aira they are idolizing.

"Uwah.... Before I'm like this too. b-but--..." He felt conflicted if he should accept the proposal. The character his playing with walking around and gifting him gift before changing their outfit which they call "AMEN" which is solo outfit (his first Gacha 5* outfit) of Tatsumi Kazehaya.

"lol ahahaha. What why is Tatsumi-senpai outfit called Amen. Ahahaha." He can't help but laugh, the topic of before slowly forgotten.

AiraShiratori: woah how L-O-V-E-L-Y! do you have other outfit too?(人 •͈ᴗ•͈)

Alkaloidfan101: I have all Alkaloid outfit (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)

AiraShiratori: please do show all! (☆▽☆)

Alkaloidfan101: okii~ ( ꈍᴗꈍ)

The avatar of alkaloudfan101 then change to the outfit called " innocent dumb prince " which is Hiiro recent outfit with prince like design.

"woah! So detailed! I wanna ask for copy of the design... Agh... But I wonder if they'll share..." Aira can't help but look at your works in adoration but continue to chat to you as his and your avatar dance around the island.

AiraShiratori: do you have mayo-senpai outfit too? 👁️ W 👁️

Alkaloidfan101: aiyo are you role playing as aira Shiratori? But I do!

You still don't know that his really the real deal as you your Character avatar giggle before you change to an outfit called "mayoi ayase is my wife ùwú" which is mayoi Collab outfit.

AiraShiratori: ...

"..." Aira mind went blank when he read the outfit name. "... I thought they are mainly my fan." He felt somewhat disappointed because he realizes your might be more of mayoi fan.

His live chat all give him a RIP and commented how he first denied the proposal to begin with. Through they all comforting him in chat, some did laugh at his reaction.

Alkaloidfan101: ah. Why did you went silent ?

AiraShiratori: your mayo-senpai fan more than mine? (´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥｀)

Alkaloidfan101: ehhh~ but I love everyone in alkaloid equally...

You then turn back to your original outfit which he know discovered is called " but Aira is my life. Please notice me." He look at the name went speechless for a speechless for a second, his face no longer have disappointment but a silly smile he can't help but do.

His live chat all boasting how the oblivious player don't know that they really chatting with THE aira Shiratori.

AiraShiratori: this skin of yours is still better!

Alkaloidfan101: ooo thank you~ your skin is good too!

The two continue to chatter before Aira have to end his Livestream he send friend request to the player who happily accept it. He wanted to play with you again as the love chat also seems to enjoy your unique personality.

[mariamlovesyou]

salam. i hope you are holding up ok w everything that is going on. i wanted to ask how you deal w being muslim and gay? i don't know anybody like me so it feels like i am a lonely unicorn. feel alienated by both my own community and the LGBT (i live in the west). i feel angry, lost etc. at both communities and i am often reluctant to practice my religion when i hear homophobic remarks etc. somehow i am too resigned to pray and then that feeling goes away and i go back to worshipping, esp when in crisis. i want to wear hijab as well but i realize that's only a response to my anger at westerners and one of the reasons i do not wear hijab is obv to avoid discrimination (i'm passing) in the professional field & also bc i think no gay woman will like me if i wear it. sorry if this question is too much, you don't have to answer, but if you have any experience or advice to share i would be grateful. thank you ❤️

hi angel .. im sorry for the late reply i had to run to an inspection when i got this i really hope u see it even though i dont know that i can offer much i just want to say im here for u.

i hope u are okay, the world is shaky and scary. im really happy u reached out to me and i think if u take anything from this it’s that reaching out is the first step. i wouldn’t say im at all entrenched in any community or fully at peace w who i am, that’s lifelong work, but it does get easier and sometimes u find little blessings in the people who show up. i feel the exact same way you do rn - alienated, angry, lost, at a crossroads. i often feel there’s no space for me anywhere and many lgbt muslims/religious gays in general feel the same especially when we’re young. i’ve also experienced periods where my faith slipped and i felt too defeated and betrayed to practice my religion fully or even in the smallest most private ways (until a few days ago i had not prayed for months since some very distressing things happened to me) but i always find myself coming back to it bc for me personally islam brings me immense comfort and grounds me, even or maybe especially after long periods of not being a “good muslim”. religion is a deeply personal thing no matter what everyone has told and will keep trying to tell u. the question is does it soothe you? does it bring you peace and comfort? away from everyone else’s eyes, do you feel connected to something higher when you take the time to do these designated rituals? i really think that’s the only thing that matters. and you might not have an answer for that rn or for a long time and that’s ok too, no one has everything figured out. stay away as much as you can from ppl u aren’t forced to be around who try to tell you how to be lgbt how to be muslim how you can’t be both etc. they’re just parroting what they think to be true and they don’t realise how draining it can be for others. protect yourself and listen to yourself. be careful what u share with whom. those r the biggest lessons i’ve learned and the only thing that’s helped make the burden feel lighter is finding other people like you and trust me when i tell u they exist!!! u just have to be a little braver and more intentional in seeking them out, if u can do so safely, bc like you they probably feel that they are alone and there’s no one else who will understand. (and when u find them, hear them out, share a little bit, but remember they are there for a sense of shared community, a delicate connection, not as a strict guide on how YOU need to be; only you decide that and that becomes easier w time)

now depending on where u are it may not be feasible to do so - i spent most of my life as an immigrant in qatar, a very small country w a death penalty or best case scenario deportation “solution” for people like us, where the idea of finding community was not only unthinkable but also seemed straight up ridiculous to me. i never tried looking, i wouldnt encourage doing so if ur in a western country that is similarly rigid unless u know what ur doing and have a support network. in this case all i can recommend is to reach out to organisations that sympathise if there are any, and hang on until ur in a safe space. BUT if there is no such threat to ur daily life, i really really urge u to seek out others like u.. and it’s likely you’ll have to look outside ur immediate circle. at first you won’t know where to look, i didn’t, i tried looking through uni, through apps, through meetups, groups specifically run by lgbt people of colour/marginalised lgbt ppl, and it will take time and a lot of trial and error and at times even ‘desperate’ or embarrassing attempts, at least it did for me. i got lucky by finding friends through friends and then friends of friends of friends etc who were like me and while i definitely wouldn’t say i connected w all of them or even liked all of them or that i have a stable network of other lgbt muslims (most of the ones i met live really far away and meetups are extremely rare but whenever i do talk to them it’s really healing) it really does help to know that somewhere not too far, u have someone who understands. so reach out. it’s hard and gruelling and isolating work but that’s the first and main thing to do to combat these unpleasant feelings of loneliness and anger. i wrestle w very complicated and conflicting things on a daily basis that most of my immediate circle couldn’t even begin to understand, so don’t do the mistake of sitting on it forever.

as for other people, gay women, muslims, whoever, i don’t have much experience here w the latter because im mostly focused on sorting myself out first before trying to fully integrate into like, being w other women in that capacity, and maybe im taking a little longer than i’d like but the good that comes out of this is im a lot less concerned about what other people have to say to me abt my identity. if gay women don’t like me bc of my hijab or my religion i really don’t gaf, they’re obviously not meant for me. don’t cater yourself to anyone but yourself, this goes for both sides. u don’t need to appease the gays by shutting down your religion and u don’t need to appease the muslims by believing u are wrong and an abomination. u were created this way, gay and it seems like u have a sort of tether to ur religion, how is that ur fault or something for u to adjust? the right people will come and the wrong ones will make it obvious (inshallah very quickly). and sometimes in our situation we find ourselves loving and deeply caring for people who just really don’t get it. that’s not ur fault either or something to resent! im starting to enjoy thinking of it as a variety. just do ur best to make sure these ppl are looking out for u and genuinely care for ur well-being even if they don’t really “get” you. and if u have no choice in the matter, hold on to the hope that people who DO get you are coming. islam is the connection between you and allah - that’s it. drown out everything else and don’t let noises distract you from that. i personally wear a hijab because it’s a part of who i am and makes me feel more protected (in a spiritual sense, i am of course very aware now that i live in australia that on a social level it can make me more of a target but i have not been threatened yet to the point of where im forced to remove it. u are not a bad muslim for choosing not to wear it, whatever ur reasoning is).

god gave us a tricky life, one can only theorise why, but what i do know is there are very few people on this earth who will understand u completely, even other lgbt muslims, and even fewer who will have ur best interest at heart. inshallah u find those few sooner rather than later, and remember the point is to let others lighten the load because this is a heavy thing to carry all by yourself. even online ppl in the same position will help. u have me 🧡 i am not experienced or developed enough to offer much more beyond this but i hope you can find some clarity and peace and i hope this helps in even a tiny way. i feel for you

[bluravenite]

You can totally ignore this if you want, i just saw that poat you added to about fandom bullying and idk, I am just... gah, i wish this fandom wasnt so cruel. I had so much fun here when i first joined and i didnt really know what i was getting into except for the fact that I loved ghost! now i still love ghost, but i am in the process of de-ghosting my blog. I feel like every day I see people bullying one another in this community, and I feel like every time i post my writing, I risk drawing attention and being bullied. Congratulations to those assholes! they'll kill the fandom because folks will be too scared to share work.

I know fandom always has some drama, but none of the others I have been involved in have been this cruel. I dont know if people are just getting crueller, or whether Ghost somehow just attracts cruel people. I hate to think the latter, because the band is drenched in love. But i fear to think the former, though i worry it might be so.

I don't think it's the band itself Hun, I think definitely it's the sort of bubble the fandom itself has created.

Cruel people exist everywhere and it's unfortunate when they end up finding each other in a bubble, ghost has gotten so big that its really hard to regulate and you will have lots of unregulated environments where people don't feel comfortable.

You as a member can do what you need to endure YOUR safety, but that sometimes isn't enough or as effective when other triggers (i.e. hate anons) are still present in the environment.

I completely feel you and I am so sorry that you've been through this and feel like this as well... Ghost used to be my comfort fandom, and I am still so in love with the romanticized idea of it, I miss talking about our OC ghouls with friends, writing and reading about them and siblings of sin life in the abbey, about ghouls going on tours and being so silly with each other. About the love and romance that allowed people in the fandom to find new ways to love themselves and explore their sexuality and even bodies. I still think that was beautiful.

Unfortunately we lost that energy at some point, maybe with the hate anons to the writers, attacks to artists, maybe with the hypersexualization of presenting gay male ghouls and dislike for the female presenting ghouls. Maybe with the over-sexualization of unmasked members of the real band, which should've never happened.

The other day I found this clip from a Neil Newbon stream (voice of Astarion in BG3 and Heisenberg in REV) where he goes on to say some headcanons are just.. wrong, and you have to learn to separate fact from fiction. These are ultimately characters that the original creators wrote, while you as a fan artist have free range to give them physical designs and traits you also have to be aware that you need to keep a somewhat level of separation, AND decency between your own headcanons and the real canon.

I think ultimately that's where this fandom goes wrong... There is no separation because people get so fucked up into their headcanons in their made up mutual bubbles that I feel like they never go out to touch grass and maybe take a minute to evaluate their content.

Not that I'm saying it shouldn't exist. Just that it's important to understand WHY it was made, WHY, it exists. Is this ghoul hypersexual?? Okay well BUT WHY????? Who are they, how do they feel about it, when did they realize, how did it affect them??? That's never talked about, it's always "ghoul has lit of sex with same sex ghoul again!!!!" It's like plotless porn at that point, fetish. It becomes gross.

I ended up kinda ranting here but I made some good points so I hope this at least helps invite more discussion about what the frick has been happening here lately..

Lots of love and encouragement to you anon, and to anyone else who has felt this way at least once in the fandom. We deserve a decent creative space💀

[bigjbonk]

HI!!!! I found you through ex machina!!! I would sell my bones for more of it. It is SO GOOD. i understand if you dont plan on writing more of homestead, but please, tell us what was gonna happen next !!!!! (If you had an outline already, if not its ok)

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa that's a pretty huge compliment, thank you!!!

Homestead, Homestead, Homestead. It isn't that I don't want to write it, really. It's just that the tf2 fixation is dormant at the moment, and has been for a while. And at the time I didn't like writing Melissa lol. I do wanna write more of it, but the issue is that right now I have stuff I wanna do MORE, and that list is always growing. My creative process is kinda just. You know. Hoarding WIPs that I'll "work on later." 😂

I was an even less disciplined writer back then than I am now, so I kind of just had some loosely connected ideas that I would write whenever I ended up feeling like it. So, seeing as at this point the most likely way I'll get back to Homestead is after an Ex Machina rewrite (and who knows if/when I'll get to that), sure, I'll share some ideas I had for Homestead under the readmore. Hypothetical spoilers below.

For starters, Engie is sterile. He and Melissa wanted children, but didn't find out until later that Engie couldn't have kids. It's why there was a room in the house that didn't match the rest, it's why Engie immediately latched onto the idea of caring for Mal (and partially why he didn't always have the best instincts even when his intentions were good; no practice), and it's why Melissa was initially REALLY uncomfortable with the fact that he'd "built a son in all but name."

Speaking of Melissa, she definitely didn't like Mal. She's seen enough of Engie's craft to know it's sound. But this is the first time he's (as far as she knows the situation) BUILT A GUY. Inspired by a coworker or not, that's weird. That might even make it weirder. It doesn't help that she barely gets to see her husband, and now he's brought home what might as well be his artificial kid, and barely pays her any mind because he's so set on advancing the robot's AI and teaching it ABCs. Melissa wouldn't resort to outright sabotage, because she loves her husband more than life itself, but she DOES inadvertently start a petty rivalry with Mal (if a slightly lopsided one) because frankly, she WOULD prefer that darned robot gone. Even if she wouldn't overtly say so.

I was kind of hoping for her and Mal to eventually warm up to each other, but considering Melissa's visceral distrust, and Mal's tendency to be either terrified or vindictive when wronged, to this day I'm not sure what would have spurred them to make up. I think I was just gonna keep writing as I go until an idea came up that kinda felt right.

I'm pretty sure that was it for actual plot stuff. There wasn't a whole bunch, seeing as Homestead was meant as a sort of drabble collection anyway, with a string of AU canon to tie them together. But here's some other random ideas I had for themes and chapters and stuff!

Mal really would find a horse. It wouldn't be HIS horse, but it would be a big enough horse for him to hop on and then IMMEDIATELY realize he didn't know how to ride one. No horses would be harmed in the making of that chapter.

Mal learning about sign language, and wanting to learn it. It would be difficult, seeing as he has three fused fingers and a face that can't emote, but it's close enough to what he and M-146 did that he would want to try.

Engie upgrading Mal's pattern recognition software so that it could run fast enough for him to enjoyably watch cartoons, simply because it bothered Mal that he couldn't make anything out in animated material. He would immediately swear off almost all of it for a variety of reasons (he ends up not really liking slapstick or fantasy violence, for starters), but he would quickly become hooked on shows like Scooby Doo whenever his cooking show wasn't on.

Engie would also work on de-noising his speaker system because Scout would call sometimes, and talking to a robot whose voice is 80% grain is a nightmare over the phone.

Speaking of Scout calling, Engie tended to always get surprised immediately after a call because Mal would have learned like 20 new words, and would have more varied intonation for words he already had. By the time the fic ended, Mal would have been capable of nearly flawless speech, and his intonation and even accent would become startlingly different from Scout's. And no, Engie would never fully get used to it. XD

There was gonna be a chapter of July 4th. That was uhhhhhhhhh gonna be how Engie learned Mal had pretty severe PTSD. This would have led to some newfound understanding of Mal's prior behavior, and that awareness would have in turn led to better management of— and workarounds to— Mal's anxiety. Not using certain power tools in his vicinity, for example, or slowly introducing him to stimuli that he found stressful in other contexts. (I'm no expert in how PTSD is managed, and at that age I DEFINITELY wasn't, so like, I would inform readers not to take my approach as like, a PTSD tutorial fjdkdjddhdj)

Once Mal had the words for it, he would reveal his favorite colors were yellow and green. He wouldn't want to be repainted, but he WOULD start occasionally wearing clothes about it.

Mal likes watching Engie work, but should NEVER be expected to help beyond handing him tools. (Engie learns why after the July 4th incident, when Mal has the words to share some of his backstory. Which got loosely addressed in a side fic because I literally retconned his origin like halfway through Ex Machina lol whoops)

I toyed with the idea of Mal making friends so that he wasn't 100% dependent on Engie at all times forever and ever. But I never came up with anyone, nor the circumstances for how he would even meet them when he barely gets to leave the house.

Mal eventually learns he likes to draw. He's not good at it by any stretch of the word, but he likes it.

Anything else I could put here would be me coming up with modern ideas, but these were some of the thoughts and themes I had in mind when I was first writing Homestead. Or at least the ones I could remember; there's a notebook somewhere that had a few ideas listed, but I have no clue where that is lol.