#also i may have forgotten to mention that i passed my exams
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kazthisnuts · 2 months ago
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daily sketch #24!!!!
ace!!!!!!!! my beloved!!!!
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the icon
second post coming later today <3 if i make it in time
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midnite-c6 · 12 days ago
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After reading ur patient!namgyu fanfic I was just wondering if you could pretty please w a cherry on top write a fic about Seowan !! Doesnt have to be doctor x patient, I just need more fics w my beloved Seowan 🔥🔥 have a great day/noon/night!
i haven't seen any fics about seo-wan, it makes me so sad, but here's oneDJFH also, i added squid game tags because i want more nam-gyu lovers to see roh jaewon's character in daily dose of sunshine!! FIRST NON SQUIDGAME FIC .. my fav schizo TT.
kim seo-wan x reader !! <3 warnings: fluff , angst ?! , mentions of mental illness </3
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つ⁠。⁠☆ he's your study buddy!! both of you couldn't pass the exams the first time and you guys bonded over that. the two of you would sit next to each other when the professors lecturing about a lesson, since you both share the interest of being determined in passing the exams this year, there wouldn't be alot of talking during a lecture, but afterwards he's actually quite talkative!
he would also share his notes, giving you a bunch of sticky notes, all of them would have silly random doodles and small comments about how "you can do it!"
you manage to even hang out with him after classes ..which still includes studying, but you told him he needs to let lose, even for a little while. eating noodles in those small shops on the sidewalk, visiting libraries, and if you feel like your falling behind in studies, he would share the other side of his headset, making you listen to the lecture he found on youtube.
a new store would open up right next to the university, because the lessons were tiring and obsessing over the tests is unhealthy, the two of you decide to explore. it was actually a computer-shop.
since then, it's been you and seo-wan's new hobby, to play videogames for hours after lectures, how you were practically his pocket healer, how you two can't play alone without the other right by their side.
this newly-shared interest has gotten you two alot closer, you'd even ask him out, gratefully, the feelings are mutual, kim seo-wan is a simple man. now there'd be long sessions of kissing inside his small apartment, cosplaying, the two of you didn't have alot of money, but this was enough.
video games became a part of your life, one to escape reality. but unfortunately, this hit a little bit harder for kim seo-wan. you'd notice how he wouldn't take the time to study anymore. of course, as the concerned lover you are, you would remind him all the time, but he just wouldn't budge.
his parents were nice, they'd always treat you like you were family, even cooking dinner or lunch for you whenever you come over. since you haven't seen seo-wan in awhile, you'd ask them, only to find out your boyfriend has been sent to a psychiatric unit.
you would visit him everyday, telling him about your day, and asking about his. his day was filled with thinking of you, playing ping-pong with the other patients, and this fantasy world he lives in. but whenever you were too busy to visit, he'd be extra depressed inside the hospital and says he has ran out of mana. </3
you were always intrigued whenever he would tell you about his visions. his stories contain that you were truly his 'mediator', and that you're there in his life to save him. "this is very unprofessional, oh my dear.. mediator, but i'm inlove with you, for you make me look forward to explore even the darkest caves or the highest mountains." he'd take your hand to place a soft kiss on-top. he had forgotten your previous relationship before, atleast he still loves you in the new world he's living in.
you'd end up taking the test without him, but you'd never talk about it in the hospital, you know he needs more time.
in the end, you two agree upon each other to fight the fire dragon together, whatever the future may hold. because, as he confidentally says: "once i've saved up enough mana and leveled up all my armor, i choose you to come with me. you're the only one i can trust in defeating the fire dragon. i will protect you with all my life, my dear mediator!"
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i'm sobbing just thinking about this bye ☹️☹️☹️ was gonna do nsfw parts too as i usually do but like i was too up in my feelings LMAOFHBRK trust im gonna post sum nsfw story next 🤞🏻
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malarign · 2 years ago
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told you so
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(when you go on a date with your enemy, and he advises you against it)
synopsis: Being a target of taunting from your enemy was your daily struggle, and when you seemed to get used to it, all of your worries disappeared when you met your new friend. but what if old feelings still didn’t pass?
contains: bff!Heeseung x fem!reader | genre: angst with a fluffy ending (requested), high school au, college au, friends to lovers | tw! mentions of food, bullying, swearing, arguing, crying, kissing and touching without consent, mentions and attempt of assault, please read at your own discretion! y/n being oblivious and delusional, basically he fell first and harder 🤩 | wc: 7,4k
author’s note: while writing this i didn’t have any specific Jisung in mind, this name just popped into my head 😬 also this was originally written to be a mini series but it didn't get much attention so i’m reposting it as a one shot :)) enjoy!
reblogs, likes and comments are highly appreciated!!!
original taglist: @nicholasluvbot, @simpforsunwoo, @sweetjaemss
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Morning, Wednesday, 9th January 2019
You watched as Jisung and his friends emptied your school bag and all your books, notebooks, documents and other personal stuff fall on the wooden floor. All of them laughed while exchanging mean looks. Jisung came up to you, lowered his head to the level of your eyes, and smiled viciously.
“You better hurry, Y/n. I don’t think you want to be late for math class, right?” he asked sarcastically and ruffled your hair.
Trying to keep calm you watched as he wandered off to the class with the rest of the boys he hangs out with. You looked at all the things he threw on the floor and sighed. He never seemed to let you breathe peacefully and lavished you with his nasty comments. Both of you used to be great friends back in middle school, but then he got into a pretty bad environment and became your worst nightmare. Every class you had with him was hours of suffering. You often thought about old times, wondering if there was a way to prevent this.
Crouching down to pick your stuff up you heard how the sound of steps behind you echoed in an empty hallway. You turned your head around to see who was coming. You tried really hard to recognize his face, but you didn’t think you had ever seen him.
“Hi,” he said. His lips slightly parted as he watched your belongings on the floor. “Let me help you.”
He crouched next to you and helped you gather your books and notebooks as you collected smaller items. He neatly put them into your bag and helped you stand up from a not-really-comfortable position.
“Thank you, I really appreciate your help.” You smiled and once more scanned his face to be sure you’d ever seen him.
“I’m Heeseung by the way. I’m new here,” he spoke as he offered his hand to greet you.
“Oh, I was wondering why I couldn’t recognize you.” You smiled sheepishly. “My name’s Y/n.”
Noon, Friday, 17th May 2019
You and Heeseung clicked almost immediately. Both of you had similar hobbies and musical tastes. Since your favorite subjects were his problem and vice versa you helped each other with homework and exam preparations, usually in the calm setting of your local library. He didn’t have problems settling into a new environment. Quite quickly he made a group of friends, bugging you to tag along every time they went out somewhere. His talent for basketball also didn’t slip by the team's coach, who didn’t waste time to make him join training.
Heeseung never failed to bring a smile to your face with his quick-witted jokes and interesting stories about his life before he moved to your city. Being with him healed you in every possible way, making thoughts of Jisung almost completely forgotten. After seeing you spend your breaks with Heeseung made him stop approaching you for some reason. Sometimes when you were alone, because he had to get something done or had different classes made you anxious. You knew that whenever he was next to you, Jisung wouldn’t do anything bad.
The bell rang announcing a long-awaited lunch break. You packed your stuff and looked at Heeseung. You opened your mouth to ask the usual question about your table, but he spoke faster.
“Coach said he needs me for a second, I’m pretty sure it won’t take long. I’ll join you as soon as I’m done, okay?” He didn’t let you say anything and just dashed away after gently patting your shoulder.
You stood there watching as he disappeared behind a corner and let out a shaky sigh. That was the first time you were going to eat lunch alone ever since you met him in March. You even considered waiting for him, just to not have to sit there alone. Then a sudden wave of confidence rushed through your body, thinking “What can go wrong? He said it’s not gonna take long.”
You made your way to the school cafeteria, looking at every student that passed by, praying none of them would belong to Jisung.
After you took your tray with a full meal you sat down at your usual table and watched the entry, nervously waiting for a familiar, friendly silhouette. What you saw was far away from that. You saw Jisung and his friend enter the cafeteria. He noticed you right away. His face showed anger, eyes sharp and fierce. His look made you quiver slightly, unable to look anywhere else. He took his tray and sat at the table behind you. You could hear every bite he took on his apple, loud cracks piercing your ears. You started to count second, wishing Heeseung would come back quickly.
Time passed and you still were sitting alone at the table. Some students finished eating while your tray was still full of food. As much as you tried eating you couldn’t muster up the energy to raise a fork to your mouth.
“Where the hell is he? What is taking him so long? He said he’ll join me.” Your thoughts were disrupted by a fine figure of a man hovering over your form. He leaned into you, his breath brushing your ear.
“Long time no see, Y/n.” His malicious tone sent shivers down your spine, and you could feel tears ready to spill out of fear. “You thought I was done with you just because you started hanging out with that asshole?” He said as he brushed away the strand of your hair. He leaned even closer to you and whispered straight to your ear: “You know I will never back off.”
“Well, maybe you should.”
You noticed Heeseung standing in front of your table.
Jisung came up to Heeseung and asked: “Or what, asshole? What you’re gonna do?” He suddenly collared him and shook his form. His actions were stopped when a loud voice echoed in the cafeteria.
“Choi Jisung!” Heeseung’s coach screamed, his voice in a humbling manner. Jisung let go of Heeseung still maintaining eye contact with him.
“I guess I don’t have to do anything in particular.” Heeseung smiled at him snidely and watched as he made his way out of the cafeteria. He then shifted his look at you who was still slightly trembling at an unexpected and not really pleasant encounter with one of your classmates.
His eyes softened looking at your form, his heart breaking from the regret of not coming to you sooner. He hesitated whether what he should do and finally rubbed your back with his palm in a comforting move. He felt as if you loosened up under his touch. Seeing you calm down he sat down next to you and tried to shift your attention from a bad experience with Jisung.
“You should eat, Y/n. I’m sure it’ll help.” He took a glance at your tray. “I know how you love that pudding,” he spoke and placed the box right in front of you making you smile.
Afternoon, Friday, 17th May 2019
“Y/n can we talk about today?” Heeseung asked. You were laying in his bed, surrounded by notes from your biology class.
You looked at him. His eyes were serious but soft at the same time. You felt bad that you didn’t tell him about your bumpy relationship with Jisung, mostly because you thought the problem solved itself when you met him. But today’s events successfully proved you wrong.
“About what?” You played for time.
“About Jisung and what happened in the cafeteria.” He got straight to the point. He moved his chair to be right in front of you. “Why didn’t you tell me he bullies you?”
“Because he doesn’t,” you simply stated shifting your gaze back to your notes. Somehow word ‘bully’ made your ego ache. You weren’t bullied, at least that’s what you said to yourself.
“Well his action said something else,” he firmly said making you snap.
“What do you know, Heeseung? You don’t know him at all, yet you’re accusing him of bullying.”
Your response took him aback. “Y/n you were literally trembling at his touch and the sound of his voice. Fuck it, you were almost crying!”
“No, I wasn’t!”
“Y/n don’t act like I’m blind. Besides, I know you well.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure,” you said and rapidly got up, gathering your notes into your bag and storming out of his room. Heeseung watched your irrational actions in utter shock. Why were you so offended? Even you didn’t know why you overreacted like that. Maybe it was because of your past friendship with Jisung? Maybe you still believed he would change for the better, and you would happily be friends like you used to be? Or maybe you would be more than friends like you always dreamt?
You walked downstairs and hurriedly started to put on your shoes. Just when you were about to go out you heard your friend’s mom.
“Y/n? You’re leaving so early?” She asked. “I’m preparing your favorite, kimchi fried rice.” She smiled warmly.
“I’m so sorry, Ms. Lee, but I need to go early today.” You felt bad lying to her, she always treated you like a daughter making sure you were never hungry whenever you hung with Heeseung. “Have a great evening!” You quickly said closing the front door behind you.
Even though it was the middle of May, the weather was rather chilly. You still had your school uniform on, your short skirt not warming you up enough.
“Y/n!” You heard Heeseung’s voice behind you. Hesitating if you should stop or run straight to your house you finally stopped your tracks. Even if you ran he would easily catch up.
You turned around and soon, Heeseung stopped in front of you, breathing heavily from his jog. You let him catch a breath and didn’t say anything.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to make you mad.”
You thought for a while, you really wanted to stay mad at him for a while, but as hard as you tried, you just couldn’t. You lowered your gaze and replied: “It’s okay. I know you meant well. But you don’t need to worry about me.” You assured.
Your answer didn’t seem to satisfy him, but he remained silent. He opened his arms, offering a conciliatory hug, which you gladly accepted.
“I should go home now,” you announced, still in his embrace.
“Can I walk you home?” he asked, knowing your answer.
“I think I would rather go by myself today. Thanks though.” You slowly pulled out from his arms and waved your hand in goodbye.
Heeseung watched you walk for a while. He couldn’t stop thinking about everything you said. Your words clenched his heart, almost making him tear up. He knew one thing: he definitely will worry about you, and won’t let this happen ever again.
Evening, Saturday, 1st June 2019
“Y/n! Heeseung is already here!” Your mom shouted from downstairs as you did the final touches to your hairstyle.
“I’m coming!” you shouted and hurriedly took your purse. Skipping your way to the hallway you saw Heeseung with a small bouquet in his hands as he talked with your mom with a warm smile. She noticed your presence first.
“Y/n come here quickly.” She gestured for you to stand next to Heeseung. “Let’s take a photo. Make a pose.”
Both of you tried different poses for the photo, from the normal ones to your usual, funny ones. After a short photo shoot, you made your way to Heeseung’s car and drove to have fun at prom.
You arrived at school quite late, as other students were already dancing in the hall. You were about to get out of his car when he stopped you with a soft hand motion. You were slightly confused but all the concern disappeared when you saw his jog around the car to your side. He opened the door gallantly and offered his hand.
“Wow, so chivalry is really not dead, huh?” you remarked and smiled at him while getting out.
“Y/n, I’m afraid you forgot who I am.” He placed his hand on his heart with an injured look on his face.
“Lee Heeseung, I envy your future girlfriend, whoever she is,” you said and made your way toward the other students.
Heeseung watched as you go with dreamy eyes and a moony smile. He couldn’t stop thinking about how gorgeous you looked tonight ever since he laid his eyes on you at your house. And not only today, the day he met you he never thought you’ll get so close and make him fall not only for your looks but charming personality, versatile knowledge, and full of empathy heart. “Hopefully you won’t have to envy her,” he thought to himself planning on confessing his feelings for you today.
When you entered the hall, your ears were pierced by loud music and the stumping of hundreds of feet. Parties like those weren’t your cup of tea, but it being prom convinced you to try having fun along with your classmates. Besides, being aware that you’re not going to be there by yourself helped you harness your train of thought. It wasn’t the first party you attended with Heeseung, but it was definitely the biggest of them all, and most importantly it wasn’t just a house party.
“Shall we?” You heard your friend’s voice and smiled. You danced all night next to each other, jumping and showing off your moves with occasional breaks to drink something or just take a breath.
Both of you sat down on a bench and watched as your classmates were also getting pretty tired. You looked at the clock which showed 10 pm. Four hours of dancing with Heeseung passed in a blink of an eye. You were about to ask him when they plan on leaving when the DJ announced a slow song. Just when you were about to stand up and freshen up in the bathroom none other than Heeseung showed in front of you, his figure towering over yours.
“May I have this dance?” He smiled but his tone wasn’t playful, but serious. Almost too serious.
You simply nodded your head in response and let him guide you to the middle of the dance floor. He took one of your hands into his and placed the other one on your waist, pulling you a little bit closer to him, to the point you felt how his breath fell on your nose. You never were in that close proximity to him, apart from that one hug after your quarrel, but none of you felt awkward at all. The feeling of his hands on your body made you feel safe and at ease, contrary to what you experienced throughout the past few years of high school.
Heeseung looked at you with full adoration in his eyes as you struggled to dance with him, occasionally stepping on his foot.
“Sorry, I had never danced like this,” you confessed sheepishly.
“Don’t worry. Just follow my lead, Y/n,” he murmured in a low voice, sending shivers down your spine. You did as he said, focusing on making the correct steps. Heeseung pulled you even closer, making you both sway in an intimate hug. Hug too intimate for friends. You noticed how his face slowly came closer to yours, and when your foreheads almost touched suddenly both of you landed on a cold, wooden floor. You took a look around and noticed how the other pair fell on the ground, the boy frantically apologizing to you and Heeseung for pushing you. You saw how his jaw clenched and eyes sharpened.
“Well, you should be more careful,” he snapped.
“Heeseung, it’s okay.” Your voice made his face soften and shift his now calm gaze to you. He helped you get up and fix hair that loosened because of the impact. While he was busy fixing your hairclips you noticed a pair of eyes watching you like a hawk. His gaze wasn’t sharp and aggressive like in the cafeteria two weeks ago. It was rather interested and invested. He watched you calmly but your heart started its usual race at the sight of his eyes on your form.
“Are you okay?” Heeseung asked worriedly, noticing your distant gaze.
“Yes,” you answered shortly and quickly. “Yes, I’m fine.”
“Do you want to dance some more or sit down? It must’ve hurt,” he spoke, referring to your fall.
“Actually, can you drive me home?” you asked hurriedly. You didn’t want the situation in the cafeteria to happen again. And knowing Heeseung you knew it was very probable.
His expression dropped at your words, pursing his lips he nodded and lead your way to his car.
Contrary to the ride to the prom, this way was way quieter. None of you dared to speak. One because of regret and the other because of anxiousness. You looked at the trees that you passed by and how almost all windows were dark. You recognized your neighborhood and prepared to get out of his car when his voice stopped you.
“Y/n?”
You looked at him, your face painting a question, asking him to continue.
He debated for a while. “It’s this moment. Now or never,” he thought to himself.
“I had so much fun with you today, Y/n,” he simply stated, hesitation winning over his will to finally confess.
“Thank you, I also had so much fun.” You smiled and bid your goodbyes, leaving him in his car alone with his thoughts.
“Will you ever realize?”
Afternoon, Tuesday, 18th October 2022
The faint sound of keyboards’ clicking and soft whispers between students, accompanied by rustling scribbling on paper always helped you study. The whole atmosphere helped you compose yourself after long days of school and now college. Getting onto the major of your dreams wasn’t easy, but thanks to your investment in finals preparations and the help of your friends, you succeeded. Not only you studied what you’d always wanted, but you also weren’t as lonely as you were in high school. Because of similar interests, you quickly got in with them, spending breaks in each other’s company and having occasional sleepovers and other friendly hangouts. Thanks to them, accustoming to college life wasn’t as harsh and hard as you expected it to be.
Many things changed since you graduated from high school, apart from one thing - your usual friendly study dates with Heeseung were still a tradition none of you dared nor wanted to break. One would think that studying different subjects would break your friendship, but it only tightened the bond you had.
Heeseung reached for his backpack and took out a small box filled with white and red grapes. He placed it between you two so that you also could grab some. Seeing that you also took out your lunch box with walnuts and cashew nuts. You poured them into his box, knowing how he liked mixed flavors of grapes and nuts. He noticed that and immediately smiled in your direction, whispering a faint but still audible “Thank you”. You returned the smile and focused on your notes once again.
On the other hand, as much as he tried to, Heeseung couldn’t. His mind was flooded and confused about his own feelings for you, which only grew stronger as time passed. Ever since he tried confessing and getting closer to you during prom he didn’t dare to try again. The panic he saw in your eyes spoke for themselves. Fear of losing you overwhelmed his heart, he knew he wouldn’t be able to endure that. That’s why he tried ignoring all the love he had for you, usually failing miserably.
“What are your plans for the weekend?” you asked quietly, trying not to disturb other people around you.
Heeseung got back to his senses and thought for a second. “I have a basketball match at 6 on Saturday,” he replied, raising his one eyebrow. “You forgot?” he asked but it sounded more like a statement, not a question.
You pursed your lips together and smiled sheepishly. “Sorry.”
“No worries. Are you still planning to come?” He closed his book and turned around to face you directly.
“Of course!” you exclaimed in a whisper. “I never missed any of your matches and I’m not planning to change that. I like seeing you win,” you added, not knowing you caused his heart to flutter and a swarm of butterflies to fill his stomach.
“What if I don’t win?” he asked, unable to control a bright smile.
“I think we both don’t believe it will ever happen,” you remarked and a few people shushed you, annoyed by your too loud for a library conversation. Heeseung and you mumbled quiet apologies and returned to your books, trying to keep yourselves from laughing.
You called the study session off a little bit an hour later.
“You sure you don’t need a walk home?” he asked for a millionth time today.
“Hee, I’m sure. Besides don’t you have a training today? You better not be late again,” you scolded him and he raised his hands in a surrendering gesture.
“Okay, but text me as soon as you get home.” He pointed at you and squinted a bit.
“I will, bye!” you assured him and waved at him.
Deciding to take advantage of the last warm days, you took a longer route home. You passed by many places you used to go to while you were still a high school student. Cafes you used to study in with Heeseung whenever there were too many people in the library, a park where both of you ate lunches during hot summer days, a basketball court where he taught you how to play and gave you tips on how to make a score. It made you realize that apart from memories with Heeseung you can’t reminisce about other ones, as if you knew him your whole life. You stopped by the cafe you studied in together for the first time, and remembered how awkward you were with each other back then. You smiled at the memory of the very much begging of your friendship. Now that same cafe was filled with couples, taking photos together or of each other and sharing sweet desserts. The sight of love made you question if your future partner is going to like Heeseung. But the thought of anybody not liking him seemed impossible for you.
You continued walking when you saw a familiar figure approaching you. A figure you didn’t expect to meet.
“Hi Y/n! It’s me, Jisung!”
Evening, Tuesday, 18th October 2022
“It’s been a while, I almost didn’t recognize you,” Jisung said in a friendly tone. You also almost didn’t recognize him. He wore the complete opposite attire to his usual pair of jeans and collection of plain T-shirts, now wearing a suit with elegant shoes.
“Yeah, me too,” you spoke and a sheepish smile with a hint of disbelief crept on your face.
“How have you been? I haven’t seen you in like ages!” Jisung kept on smiling and tilting his head to the right, an old habit of his.
“Jisung what do you want?” you asked quickly, scared of his reaction.
Seeing your expression he sighed and spoke: “Y/n, listen. I’m really sorry. For everything I’ve done. I treated you badly, and I regret it with my whole heart.” He placed his hand on the left side of his chest. “What I did was wrong and I want to sincerely apologize to you. I’m so sorry.” His words seemed to be genuine and truthful to you.
“It was a long time ago, it’s okay, Jisung.” You shrugged and smiled softly.
“It’s not really okay, unless you let me redeem myself. let me take you out,” he said nonchalantly.
“Oh?”
“Do you have plans on Saturday? There’s a new restaurant that opened a while ago, what do you think?”
Thinking for a while you slowly nodded. Your movement made a strand of your hair fall from behind your ear and he was quick to fix it, making you blush.
“Great. It’s a date then. I’ll come and pick you up at 7,” he announced and said his goodbye, leaving you dumbfounded.
You felt like your chest gets tighter and your stomach fills with butterflies. You turned around to look at him once more but he was already gone. Just when you thought you finally forgot about him and your feelings for him, that somehow buried themselves in the depth of your heart, all you could think about was him once again. The way he looked at you, the way he smiled at you, the way the slightest touch of his fingers brushing fragile skin on your cheek, it all made you feel like on shaky ground.
Then it hit you. You’re going on a date. Your first ever date. You almost let a squeal leave your lips, but stopped it on time by covering them with the palm of your hand. Excitement rushed through your body and you hurriedly headed home.
When you arrived home and were done letting out all excitement and thrill of your body by jumping all over your place, you took the phone out of your bag. You noticed a few missed calls, all from Heeseung. You remembered how you promised to text him when you arrive home, and now he must’ve finished his practice.
You dialed his number and didn’t have to wait for too long for him to answer.
“Y/n? Is everything okay?” he asked worriedly.
“Yes, oh my god, Hee! Everything is great!” you couldn’t contain your happiness and wanted to share the news with him.
“Woah, woah, what’s that excitement about?” he asked and laughed at your crazy behavior.
“Hee, I’m going on a date!”
For a while your painful silence submerged the call, the only sound was soft breathing on the other side of the line.
“Heeseung? Are you okay?” you asked.
“Yes, yes, uhm, I’m okay,” he choked out.
“Well, then aren’t you gonna congratulate me?”
“Y/n, I’m very happy for you, but do I know this guy? You‘ve never told me about him.” His voice was rather cold in contrary to his words.
“You know him! It’s Jisung, from our high school.”
“What?” Heeseung couldn’t believe his ears. “Choi Jisung? The one who bullied you?”
“You’re at it again? He didn’t bully me Heeseung! He used to be my friend. Besides, why would you know what type of relationship we had?” You were mad. He never had an opportunity to truly get to know him, yet he was talking badly about him. This made your blood boil, because you knew him, and he certainly wasn’t as bad as Heeseung painted him.
You thought you truly knew Jisung. And you did to some point in your lives, now living on the deluded picture of him made by your imagination.
“Y/n, he treated you horribly! You were scared of him, don’t tell me otherwise, 'cause your reaction said otherwise.” His voice was harsh, sounding like he was scolding you.
“He changed! He apologized to me. He knows what he did was wrong!” you exclaimed, now even more mad than before.
“Y/n people like him don’t change. And even if he did, he shouldn’t be forgiven and given any more chances. Especially by you.”
“Let me decide on that. Fuck you, Heeseung,” you said and ended the call. You threw it on your bed and went to the bathroom to take a long shower, in hopes it would help you calm down.
Your words rang in Heeseung’s head for a long time. He froze, the phone still near his ear as if he was hoping you would say you didn’t mean that. But as minutes passed he realized you certainly did mean your words, and that they were meant to hurt him. He sat on the ground and slumped against a wall. Feeling his eyes sting as they brimmed with hot tears, Heeseung quickly wiped them off before completely breaking down. He stood up after a while and reached into a drawer for his car keys, ready for a night drive.
Afternoon, Saturday, 22nd October 2022
You stood in front of your wardrobe wondering how you should dress for your date with Jisung. You tried hard to think of anything that would suit the vibe and atmosphere of a fancy restaurant you’re going to, but your mind was flooded with thoughts of Heeseung. It was the longest you went without contacting each other, but your ego didn’t let you reach out to him. He should be happy for you, for his friend. After you would be happy for him if he told you he was going to have a date. Right?
After what seemed like ages of wondering about your outfit you contacted one of your classmates, Jennifer.
“Jen, do you have a second you could spare me? you asked as soon as your friend picked up the phone.
“Y/nie, my love, for you I always have time. What’s wrong?” she spoke and brought a long-lost smile to your face.
“Sorry I didn’t tell you but I remember how stressed you were with your presentation, but…” you started, feeling guilty for not telling her sooner.
“Oh my god, what is it? You’re scaring me!” she raised her voice dramatically.
“Well, I’m going on a date and I don’t know what to wear. I still have lots of time left but I’m getting a little bit nervous,” you confessed.
“Oh my! Finally, I’m so happy for you, bestie!” You heard her clapping her hands excitedly. “How about me coming over and rummaging through your clothes?”
“That would be great, but Jen you don’t have to!”
On the other side of the line, you heard the jingling sound of her car keys.
“I feel like I haven’t seen you in ages, plus you need to tell me how that happened, so don’t try to stop me now!” she said, and soon after you hung up.
While you were waiting you sat on your bed, thinking of possible scenarios of today’s date. Will it look like it does in movies? Will it end up only on this one date or will there be more?
Suddenly, the silence of your room got disturbed by the sound of a notification. You took your phone and read a reminder: “♡ Heeseung’s match 6pm ♡”. This made you bite your lips, guilty of not keeping your promise. Sure, you were mad at him, but he is still your best friend. “I never missed any of your matches and I’m not planning to change that,” you remembered your words from a few days ago. You placed your elbows on your thighs and hid your face in your hands. Just when you were about to let out your emotions you heard knocking on your front door. You opened them and they revealed a smiling Jennifer.
“Let’s get to the work, shall we?”
Thanks to Jennifer, picking your outfit was filled with laughter and her anecdotes. This helped you deal with the anxiety caused by your upcoming date, but also, more importantly, stop yourself from thinking about Heeseung. Before you knew it, the outfit was ready, along with a bag, some accessories, and shoes. You still had some time before 7 PM, so you sat in your room and chatted for a while, enjoying each other’s presence after days of different schedules.
“Okay, but most importantly, how did he ask you out?” She waited for your answer with anticipation and excitement.
“I mean we met when I was having a walk in the neighborhood and he just asked me.” You shrugged but your cheeks filled with red tint.
“Oh my god!” Jennifer exclaimed, emphasizing the last word. “I thought he will never ask you out, at this rate. But finally, my prayers were listened to!” She raised her hands in the air, while you were, to say the least, confused and dumbfounded.
“What do you mean? Who are you talking about?” you asked.
Your friend’s smile faded and she lowered her hands. “About your friend, that Heeseung guy. Is he not the one that asked you out?”
“No, why would you think that?”
“So it’s not Heeseung you’re going out with?” You shook your head and noticed how disappointment filled her eyes.
“Oh come on, Jen. You’re not happy for me anymore?”
“I am!” she defended herself. “It’s just… Both of you already seemed like a couple or like you at least like each other. You always say he’s like an angel, that you can’t imagine your life without him, so I kinda just assumed you liked him. Plus the way he looks at you speaks for itself better than your constant love confessions.”
Love?
Evening, Saturday 22nd October 2023
The gymnasium hall was filled with loud cheers coming from both bleachers. Players were practicing shots and warming up before the first match of the season. Heeseung was one of them, yet the ace known for excellent aim failed to score almost anything. He kept on looking for you in your usual place where you cheered for him along with your friends. But that one spot was empty, soon to be occupied by some unknown to him student. He tried to push the thoughts of you away, but as much as he tried the more he failed. None of the players or the coach had ever seen this part of him.
The match barely started, yet your university’s team was failing like never. Mainly because something apparently preoccupied the mind of the captain of the team. This made a coach come to a decision of seating him on a bench, for the first time during his player days.
You waited patiently on the couch, ready to go out. The clock showed half past seven, which made you worried, if he will even come. What if he got into an accident? What if something bad happened to him. You anxiously were looking at your phone, waiting for some message from Jisung. You were about to call him when your phone screen lightens up, showing his caller ID. You answered almost immediately.
“Hello?”
“Y/n! I’m so sorry for being late, but I’m already near your place so you can already come out,” he said and you could hear the sound of the engine’s drone.
“No worries, take your time,” you reassured him but noticed that the call already ended.
You locked the door behind you and made your way to the elevator.
You spotted his car from afar and waved at him. Your heart almost sprung out of your chest and felt how your throat tightens at every breath you took. You got in and greeted him shyly.
“Hi, sweetheart,” he said, and before you could realize he left a quick and harsh kiss on your lips, leaving you shocked. Jisung on the other side smiled to himself and started the car.
“I thought we could go somewhere where we could be alone before eating, what do you say?” he asked placing his hand on your inner thigh, making you, to say at least, extremely uncomfortable.
You tried taking his hand off your body, but he only gripped your wrist tightly making you hiss. “Oh, Y/n. Don’t act so innocent.” He stopped at the side of the road. Looking around you couldn’t spot a single living soul around you nor any car passing by. “But I can assure you I’ll fuck you better than him,” he said bluntly and started unbuckling his belt.
Not really knowing what to do you slapped him across his face and hurriedly got out o his car. You ran as fast as you can, with stamina better than usual, due to a high level of adrenaline in your body. You thought of the place you should go to. He knew where you lived so your place wouldn’t work. Jennifer’s apartment on the other hand was far away from where you were. The only place that was near enough was Heeseung’s apartment. Looking at the time you thought he must already be home. You turned around once more to see if he was following you. Not thinking twice you continued running, still shocked not knowing what exactly happened.
The first thing Heeseung did after arriving home from his first-ever lost match was take a cold shower. He let the icy water cascade down his body while still thinking about you. What if he did something bad to you during your date? He knew Jisung was up to no good, yet he let you go out with him. He stepped out of the cabin and hurriedly dressed himself into comfortable clothes.
Where should he search for you? he should’ve at least asked you where you were going and now he had an entire city to rummage. Not bothering to dry his hair he grabbed his keys and opened the door only to see you, completely breathless, on the edge of crying at his sight.
Night, Saturday, 22nd October 2023
You stared at your reflection in a mirror, under the bright light of Heeseung’s bathroom. None of you dared to speak, both allowing you to catch your breath, collect thoughts and speak whenever you’re ready. He just let you in and gave you his T-shirt and pair of shorts you always wore whenever you paid him an unexpected visit and wanted to get changed into something more comfortable.
Heeseung decided to prepare a quick meal for you and took your favorite snacks he stored in his kitchen, just in case. Your state worried him to the point he didn’t know what to do. He knew one thing though. Jisung wanted to hurt you, and either he succeeded or his attempt stayed as an attempt. He waited patiently for you, giving you all the time you needed, and thought of all the possible scenarios and how he could comfort you.
You finally decided to leave the bathroom and took a seat next to him on the couch. For a while, the silence filled the room with hesitation and uncertainty.
“Do you wanna talk or eat first?” he asked, trying to sound as gentle as he could.
“Eat,” you simply whispered, voice cracking on the way.
Heeseung looked up at you. You hugged your knees, eyes mentally checked out. He raised his hand to rub your shoulder but stopped himself midway, instead he just nodded and stood up to hand you your bowl. You quietly thanked him and took a bite of still hot noodles he had prepared. Silence once again submerged the room, the only audible sound was an occasional noodle slurp.
Once you finished and placed a bowl on the table sudden realisation hit you. You were assaulted. Jisung wanted to hurt you and he certainly didn’t change. And that Heeseung was right. Your eyes brimmed with tears.
Your expression told him everything he needed to know. Guilt crept over him and all h could think was if it could be prevented. If only his pride and ego didn’t blind him if only he wouldn’t let his emotions stop him. But now it was too late. You, the person he loved dearly was hurt, making him feel helpless.
Before he could think how can he comfort you, you were already in his arms. You cried your heart out on his shoulder as he just closed you in his warm and secure embrace, wanting to bring home to you, in such a crisis you were in.
“Hee, you were right!” you cried, choking on each word. “I should’ve listened to you, it’s all my fault!”
Heeseung pulled out t your words and cupped your cheeks in his palms. His eyes were full of compassion and regret, accentuated by tears that threatened to fall down his face. “No Y/n. It’s not your fault. You didn’t do anything to deserve this. I am here to listen and help you.”
His words felt like a soft Sunbeams that hit your skin after days of constant rain. You felt like your tensed body slowly relaxes at his touch and words as he spoke. Realizing how lucky you got, to have a friend like him you smiled as tears still blurred your vision. Nonetheless, you still noticed how he also smiled at you, eyes expressing nothing but pure love and will to protect you from everything.
“Plus the way he looks at you speaks for itself better than your constant love confessions,” you recalled Jennifer’s words now replaying all the memories you made with him during those almost 4 years of friendship.
How he never hesitated to help you whenever he saw you struggling.
How he never let you skip meals during exam season, sacrificing his own study time.
How he always managed to make time for you.
How he helped you live to the fullest during your high school days.
How he was the only person to truly know how to calm you down and help you relax.
How he was the only person to know your true self.
How he just stayed by your side, even though you were wrong, and hurt him with your insensitive words.
He truly does love you. How could you not see this?
What bugged you, even more, was how you didn’t realize you loved him too, maybe even more than he loves you. His compassion, passion, and kindness made him an angel you did not deserve.
“Hee, I’m so sorry.” You shook your head from disbelief at your own obliviousness and stupidity. “I’m so sorry for hurting you, for what I said a few days ago. I regret it and never intended to hurt you.”
He didn’t reply. Instead, he just smiled and invited you into his embrace once again. You gladly fell into his arms and melted in the comforting touch that helped you feel at ease. Your oasis. Your home.
Evening, Friday, 28th April 2023
The spectators were going crazy at the fierce match between the two teams. Your university’s players were currently losing by a few points but still were hoping to win regionals. While teams were discussing tactics with their coaches during a short break you were shouting words of encouragement along with other fans.
After the floor got cleaned players once again stepped on the court and started the last quarter. The ball relocated quickly between the hands of opponents when because of a small mistake of one of them it landed in your team’s captain, Heeseung’s hands. Your side of the bleachers screamed out of joy as he scored 3 points.
For a few minutes, none of the teams scored, raising the stress and emotions to the maximum. Now Heeseung’s team needed a final word to win the game and knock current front-runners off their pedestal. The tension in the air suffocated everyone, they were equally close and far from winning, because of the exhaustion of the other team.
The clock showed one minute till the end and a sudden rush of adrenaline overpowered Heeseung’s body. He had to lead his team to victory and he knew he could do it. He waited for the right moment and took the ball away from another player. He rushed to the hoop making an impressive buzzer beater leaving one side of the hall in tears of regret and the other one of joy.
The team surrounded him in a group hug, celebrating the victory and making it to the nationals, for the first time in your university’s history.
Seeing him so happy and smiley because of victory made your heart fill with glee and pride.
You saw how his teammates’ girlfriends rushed to congratulate them. That’s when Heeseung and your eyes met. He made a confused expression and you saw him say, barely audible because of the noise: “What are you waiting for?” and opened his arms.
You laughed and rushed his way to engulf him in a hug, not caring about the layer of sweat that covered his body and clothes. You pulled out, arms still wrapped around his neck, and kissed him, feeling salty drops on your lips. He melted in your touch and lifted your body while spinning around. You giggled against his lips and pulled away saying: “I’m so proud of you, love” making his cheeks and tips of ears turn bright pink. “I love you so much,” you confessed and looked deeply into his beautiful dark eyes.
“I love you more,” he said leaving a sweet kiss on your temple.
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thank you for reading! back to the masterlist
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kingdomheartsthoughts · 3 years ago
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Xehanort / Player Character Thoughts
Player Character will be known as PC in this to shorthand
Okay so PC went through some shit in khux. I think khux has one of if not the best storylines (when you cut out the fucking filler chunks) and displays how much trauma truly haunts a person. PC is a good person all around, but there were signs of darkness within them throughout the story. But it didn’t consume them…. I’ve noticed in kh there are some characters like Riku, Xehanort, and PC (I have a theory about this too LOL another future post) the darkness just hits different. Also of note…. they never wanted power or doubted others. When darkness surfaced in the foretellers it was stemming from suspicion and jealousy. When it started manifesting in PC it was literally because they were forced to fight in a war with people they loved. Their friends were all DYING. It was born from sadness. They may have forgotten all this but… boy did the pain linger. Those scenes where they are dreaming and crying in bed… erasing trauma from your mind does not always heal you. I think that’s how the nightmare was formed…. At least I think. I don’t think it was ever explained otherwise but I could be wrong let me know if anyone reads this!! Okay so why mention all this… well all this pain and trauma was forwarded to Xehanort when PC died…. DIED TAKING ONE FOR THE TEAM NO LESS… god my heart hurts thinking about it. They died with Ephemer and Skuld thinking they were their enemy. Goddamn it Nomura. Anyway sorry back on topic. That Trauma was carried over to Xehanort AND FIRST OFF this is in no way a LETS GIVE WAR CRIMINAL XEHANORT AS PASS BECAUSE HE WAS GIVEN TRAUMA like…. He did awful shit and nothing excuses it. He cause so much fucking pain and suffering. That being said, he was manipulated by MoM no doubt. With Dark Road we have been seeing such a different side of him…. One that does give off big PC vibes. Getting along with the group, learning things, not committing war crimes…. In the remind DLC we see that MoM intervened before his exam and let him explore worlds like he has always wanted. That’s when he got this notion in his head he had to fix everyone and everything and that light wasn’t going to cut it. So while I do think Xehanort has done just the worst shit imaginable… I can understand why. The inherited trauma and the manipulation and just how he naturally is… it was all a perfect recipe for someone to think they are some kind of dark savior. I just think it’s interesting that dark road keeps showing xehanort at the start of his training then four years later. I think that’s to show the effect of Mom had on him before and after.
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asturlavi · 4 years ago
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oh boy, do i have wonderful beast oda/odazai info for you all since this may just be my favorite chapter in all of beast. it clarified a lot about oda's state in this au, and how sad it truly is, especially with all that dazai has done to ensure that oda's safety is certain
before i start, this was initially intended to be a quirky little twitter thread that’s supposed to be kicked off with a badly drawn doodle of something meme. the thread was supposed to be about how wonderfully dumb odasaku can be and how annoyingly frustrating dazai is in the latest beast chapter... and then it slowly devolved into a crudely written essay about small discoveries i’ve made that most likely haven’t been pointed out before, so i recommend that anyone interested in either oda or odazai to check this out 
so i finally got around to reading the new beast chapter and seeing how odasaku constantly devalues himself and finds that he's lesser than the average person is… sad. its been said that him and ranpo are the stars of the ada, every mission trivial with their cooperation, and yet he doesn't see any of that. thinks he struck luck when it came to his entrance exam, which he specifies that it wasn't as a result of his own skills. his inferiority complex is embedded so deep that despite his achievements, he doesn't at all believe he has any worth as a human.
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i'm just a tired, ordinary man like you could find anywhere. a third-rate detective, as unexceptional as a fallen cigarette butt on the road.
and his entrance exam was just like dazai's: the azure messenger case, which we all know wasn't at all a walk in the park. one mistake, and it would spell disaster for the city that the ada was trying to protect. no--not just the city, it would also mean the end of the ada as we know it. despite it all, he resolved it much to his own surprise, and it was all thanks to an "unexpected" gift. and that gift? who would it be other than from dazai himself? 
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beast light novel ch. 3
(also, this is a shaky claim at best but I feel as if oda fully holds the capabilities to solve the case alone, but dazai knew that with odasaku's persistent feelings of self-doubt, along with his lack of some of the vivacity that dazai held to weasel his way through to information, the outcome of success wouldn’t be guaranteed. and so, dazai lent him something to ensure his success)
and yet, oda is blind to see truly how much intellect and skill he possesses. he doesn't realize how integral he was to the quest of the azure messenger, doesn't acknowledge that without him these orphans would have either slipped into a life of crime, gone to a downtrodden orphanage, or simply passed away, and he doesn't know that despite it all, he's one of the purest characters in the story, even with the darkness that will forever cling to him, a reminder of the violence that marred his past.
not to mention that oda, in one way or another, effectively analyzed the current situation that they're stuck in. he noted that if things currently go the way they're going, no matter what akutagawa achieves, him and his sister are doomed. so, oda brilliantly decided to go after the port mafia itself to prepare for this possibility, and it's nothing short of genius. and dazai plays along with this… because it is oda, after all. 
and everything dazai did, everything he sacrificed, it was all for oda.
now to the underlying tragedy of this chapter. take a look at this panel: 
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ever since then, i've been making a living by solving requests that come to the detective agency.
i provide for the orphans
i drink coffee.
i gamble a bit on days off.
at night, i write a novel in the kitchen. 
that's my life.
nothing unusual, right? you'd think that odasaku was satisfied with life, since he has everything he had ever wished for. but in all actuality, he still lacks one important thing.
and that's friendship.
his words sounded so… empty. achieving ones dreams is but one aspect of life that brings one gratification, but doesn't necessarily mean it would guarantee lasting happiness. (think of famous actors or celebrities that spiral into depression even after they've achieved their dreams).
in that panel, he says he cares for the orphans, gambles, and writes alone in his spare time, but not a word of spending time with friends… something he had in the root universe, something that was lost to him in this one.
and he says this all with his face blacked out, as if he's somewhat implicitly dissatisfied (while the kid's faces are present, not at all concealed).
with dazai, he found peace in a place where peace is rare to find. They both completely put their guard down with each other around, and dazai can relax his overly speculative mind with oda. and they understood each other, a level of understanding rare to come by. dazai with his dark jokes easily flies past oda's ears because that's what they are, harmless jokes. and oda with his blunt honesty, which dazai cherishes and never prods him for it.
dazai also saw things in oda that oda was blind to. dazai saw a world of beauty in oda, the ray of light beneath a cloudy sky. he saw both intelligence and wisdom, kindness and generosity. and most of all, he trusted oda, despite dazai’s natural inclination to distrust.
and what oda saw in dazai was vulnerability. despite the front that dazai puts, he can be kind, even empathetic, when the situation calls for it. dazai once gave akutagawa a decision to turn his back against dazai’s offer to join the port mafia, when logic points to the fact that he didn't have to, but wanted to.
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dazai also consistently gives atsushi words of advice and shows understanding when dazai was under no obligation to, such as atsushi facing the loss of his previous caretaker. dazai gave atsushi genuine advice, not laced with any malice or ill intent. dazai had even left atsushi to grieve alone, fully understanding that atsushi needed to pour his emotions out in private. there’s more than enough instances of dazai showing this side of himself in both the light novels and manga, but it seems to sometimes be brushed aside. even though the main cast of characters always dismissed this side of dazai, oda has always known that this side of dazai was his truest self.
oda and dazai also talked endlessly about trivial things, calling each other daily for two hours for no reason other than that they each enjoy one another's company. it's pure, wholesome love. they had a mutual trust and understanding between one another, which ango, another friend of theirs, severely lacked in his friendship with them.
oda's dream was to write, gone unfulfilled in the root universe, but he died happily knowing that the one he cares for is living in the path of light. dazai's was to find a reason to live, which he found in oda, and continues to use this as motivation long after oda passed.
in beast, dazai's dream was cut short, ultimately leading to his demise at the end. after all, his one reason to live is now robbed from him. however, oda's dreams have become a reality, but can one really say he achieved happiness? he has the orphans, his children, but they will never understand him like dazai had. he has peace, but is it the form of peace he wanted? spending time alone, on things like gambling, while endlessly mulling how he has no one to spend this time with?
and writing, his one true wish that dazai made absolutely sure to make a reality. but was it worth it, at the cost of a friend who brought happiness and reprieve when everyone else failed to?
i thought of this tale as a matter of equivalent exchange, you lose one life in exchange for another. the scales do remain somewhat balanced, but not over a matter of lives. it's over a matter of personal sacrifices, ones only known to us readers.
and i say "somewhat" because in the root universe, dazai remembered oda when he was alive, so well that dazai can recall memories to near perfection. but oda had completely forgotten dazai in beast, chasing after absent memories and deluding himself into thinking his life is perfect, while numbing himself from the aching hole of loneliness that consumes him inside.
also, oda is surely happy spending time with the children, but what about his lonesome hours? who is he going to spend that time with, in a world without dazai, the only person who understood him and his oddities?
ah, and remember this moment in the root universe? 
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now, take a look at this again. no, look closer 
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odasaku wasn’t merely gambling for the sake of it, he was gambling on a horse race. and before dazai was arrested in the root universe, he was seen doing just that. 
now, why would odasaku do this? he surely doesn’t seem the type to gamble away his money on something as silly as horse races, because what does someone gain while they pour their money into something so senseless? 
and the only reason i could arrive to is that dazai must have dragged him along to one. dazai is a port mafia executive, with more money than he knows what to do with and a boatload of depression. money probably disinterests him as much as life does, and he used gambling to kill two birds with one stone: ridding of money he doesn’t need, and distracting him from his boredom (and depression). 
and it doesn’t end there. remember when dazai in dead apple had visited bar lupin to pay his regards to odasaku, while reliving a pleasant memory dazai had with him? and he did this because he was preparing for a quest that may result in with the loss of his life, psyching himself up for what’s to come. this is probably bordering on speculation, but i believe that that’s precisely what he did once again in the horse races. dazai paid a visit to a place that oda and him had frequented, to prepare for another dangerous quest. 
also, note that immediately after exiting bar lupin in dead apple, dazai was confronted by ango, which kicked off the start of dazai’s plans. a similar thing happens in the manga, dazai spending time in a place that he and oda had gone to, this time the horse races, and his plan whirls into motion as jono arrests him. i think these similarities are deliberate, in order to establish their significance to dazai and oda. 
this long winded explanation’s purpose was only for me to go back to this panel once again, and say that everything oda spoke about doing, from spending time with his kids, to brewing coffee, to betting on horse races, and to writing in the kitchen, were all moments he had with dazai. 
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and see that he has an extra chair that sits unused in the kitchen? at first, i thought it was there for the sake of being there. then, it slowly dawned on me that odasaku and dazai had noted in the dark era light novel that they made a habit of visiting each other, so it wouldn’t be illogical to conclude that it was a chair meant for dazai. a place where he can spend some private moments together with oda underneath the dimly lit kitchen, drinking in the scent of odasaku’s coffee and talking about things that distracts them from their troubles while odasaku whittles away at his manuscript. 
and one last thing before i end this out of sheer laziness, take a look at this photograph of oda from the final moments of the beast light novel.
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as oda stated in the manga and light novel, he worked on his manuscript alone in the kitchen... but in the photograph, he wasn’t alone. he’s posing for a picture. relaxed, poised, as if entertaining the one taking the photo. and besides, wasn’t it dazai who insisted on taking photographs in bar lupin with ango and oda in dark era? he must have done the same in that very moment in the beast universe, but this time in anticipation of oda forgetting him. 
in the end, it seems oda and dazai left each other in similar ways, foolishly believing they've sacrificed their lives for each other to better the other's life, but all they did was create worlds where the feeling of happiness will be lost to both respective parties, while also resigning each other to a life of loneliness.
they've forgotten about their one happiness that stems from just being around one another, listening to the soothing tune of jazz playing softly as they talk into the night, the world lost to them as they're absorbed in one another's presence.
it seems like their story is a tragedy of what happens when you love someone too much, to the point that you delude yourself into thinking you're but a tool for their happiness, and with you gone, nothing will change.
but things did change, didn't they?
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opalescient · 4 years ago
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haikyuu fic recs — the most beautiful, lovely, breathtaking masterlist (vol. I)
so i’ve been binging fics to cure my sadness, and i thought that these select masterpieces were too magnificent to not be plastered on every billboard ever. some tore my soul into shreds, while others melted said shreds back whole, but all of them made me feel some form of sheer, unadulterated love, so. please enjoy! 🥰⛅️✨
note: all of these fics are exquisite and you should read all of them, but if you’re short of time, those with ☆ are my all-time favourites!
daisuga
butterfly in the subway by bigspoonnoya ☆ | T
Sugawara Koushi has no idea he's already in love with the man he's supposed to hate.
i lovelovelove how all the concepts tied in together like a perfectly wrapped gift
also very wholesome, made me feel so inexplicably warm. like, love can exist everywhere!!! despite everything!!! that’s just so inspiring
i revisited this many times, i think it was (one of) my first haikyuu fics and honestly. it set the bar so high and i have no regrets
you’d fit my lonely arms so perfectly by boxofwonder ☆ | G
“Oh. You're. Not Asahi.”
Calmed down enough that he can speak again, Daichi takes a deep breath, his smile settling on his face easily and wide.
“Not as far as I know, no.”
-
Suga accidentally calls a stranger instead of his best friend, tells him all about his burned batch of cookies before realising, and that particular mistake might turn out the best one he ever made.
major, major fluff
the buildup!!!
god this made my yearning for love so much worse
the perfect stranger by downmoon | T
There’s a man standing outside Suga's door.
Scratch that. Start over.
There’s a man he doesn’t know standing outside his door, holding his sleeping nephew in one arm, with another kid clinging tightly to his free hand.
so domestic please read the entire series from start to finish it has my whole heart
shoyou and tobio as their actual kids 🥺
these two parents are so in love it makes me wanna cry
asanoya
silica sand by lilien passe ☆ | G
Overworked, over-stressed programmer Azumane Asahi works on the top floor of a Shinjuku skyscraper. Nervous around his coworkers and terrified of the long drop on the other side of the window, Asahi falls into a miserable routine, only to have it broken one day by a simple message on the outside of the glass.
PLEASE. so well-written it makes my heart glow and ache simultaneously
made me ascend into asanoya heaven
such a brilliantly unique concept i love it A+
qué syrah syrah by loudlucy | M
Asahi wants to be a Master Sommelier. It's the highest honor in wine service, and the certification would allow him to live the life he's always envisioned for himself. Too bad the certification test is notorious for being the world's most difficult.
Most people fail their first time taking the exam, and Asahi is no exception, but he has more difficulty than most dusting himself off and getting back on his feet. Enter Nishinoya, a young man who shares his same dream, and who believes in their goals so fiercely it forces Asahi to embark on a delicious and sensuous journey of viticulture and validation.
AKA The Wine Tasting AU that literally no one even knew to ask for.
NOTE: You Do Not Need to Know About Wine to Understand This Fic!
another super unique concept!!! (´∀`=)
my god their chemistry is amazing
the writing made me feel things ngl
stop my bones from wondering by cerasi ☆ | T
After graduation, Asahi hides from the world and needs help from a few sources to find his way back.
i want to write sonnets and sing ballads for this fic, it’s that beautiful
as always, Top Notch Writing *chef’s kiss*
no but i seriously... can i kiss the author? asking for a friend 😳👉🏼👈🏼
iwaoi
star-crossed by starlitcities | T
“I never thought I’d see the day that I’d envy a human,” Oikawa admits, showering himself in tiny suns, because he can actually feels those, like a fusillade of warm kisses on luminous skin that leave marks. To humans, they’d be freckles. Skin stars, Oikawa calls them. He didn’t make that up, a human did.
“Who created the rule that we can’t touch, I wonder,” Iwaizumi ponders, floating heedlessly through space.
“Maybe it’s because we can fly. Humans dream of flying, right?”
“I don’t think so.”
gsjsgsjshsjshsjsj star!iwaoi
they’re LITERALLY STARS
beautifulbeautifulbeautiful i love how the author conveyed the beauty of touch and humanity 🥺🥺
please bless yourself further with the sequel sun-kissed
conquering the great king by suggestivescribe ☆| E
Iwaizumi blinked his gaze over to Oikawa, "Last time was supposed to be a one time thing," he said, voice low, lacking some conviction.
Oikawa's lips twitched into a smirk and he brought them hovering just over Iwaizumi's, "One time thing, Two time thing, what's it matter as long as it's not a Relationship thing?"
yes.
in fact, this entire series (breaking the rules) features daisuga, kuroken, asanoya and it’s SO GOOD. every single one.
but anyway, character development!!!!! plot!!!!!!!!! writing!!!!!!!! i’m here for it all
tsukkiyama
campfire in your chest by deanpendragon ☆ | M
Kei realizes in their second year of high school that he’s probably been in love with Yamaguchi since they were ten. However hopeless he might be in handling that situation, Kei prays he’s at least not as hopeless as Hinata and Kageyama. But he just might be.
SO BEAUTIFUL
i am also a sucker for anything with stars, moons and all the love in between
no words to describe this work of art please just go read it and be blessed
under the lilac tree by raewrites | G
there’s a lilac tree in Kei’s backyard.
gorgeous in its simplicity
softtsukkisofttsukkisofttsukki
not as grandiose as the rest but the love written into every word, action and character is absolutely show-stopping
kagehina
saffron and cayenne pepper by dontsaycrazy ☆ | T
Cooking is hard. Even if you have your very attractive, very grumpy neighbor there to help you.
-
In which Hinata's lack of cooking skills are a danger to him and others. Luckily (or not), Kageyama is willing to teach him, if only for the sake of avoiding any burned down apartments.
the essence of their characters were captured so well and yet it’s like they’re completely new characters too? author, whoever you are, you totally owned this
this made me ship kagehina so hard
fluff! cuteness! lots and lots of cooing!
kuroken
the galaxy is endless (i thought we were, too) by cosmogony ☆ | T
soulmate
/ˈsəʊlmeɪt/ • noun
A person who was made from the same star as you.
-
// Kuroken AU where the last words your soulmate will say to you appear on your skin when you turn 16, and how Kenma and Kuroo learn what this means over the course of their lives.
ahhh here it is. beautiful, heartbreaking, soul-emptying agony. you want angst? choke on this, and your tears later on.
no but seriously please read this if you haven’t you won’t regret it at all i promise
written from kenma’s perspective so you experience every depth and multitude of emotion he does and it’s so raw and- brb imma go cry for a sec
knot in my heart by hearthope | T
There’s a picture. Kenma blinks, looking at the little calico cat, being held up next to the face of a guy with stupidly messy hair and a crooked grin.
Cute.
The— the cat. The cat is cute.
Just the cat.
-
Kuroo starts spending a lot of time at the flower shop Kenma works at. Kenma definitely isn't into him.
okay so i like it when authors unravel a normally stoic character’s full scope of emotion and give them depth, sue me.
anyway, back on the fluff train!
i absolutely f*ck with flower symbolisms, cats and bitchy best friends who have dirt on each other. the layers of romance, friendship and everything in between is so prettily developed 10/10
bokuaka
the jacket you never returned by daisuga ☆☆ | G
He leaned over, kissed Bokuto on the cheek, and smiled bitterly, eyes watery.
He will never remember. Not now, not ever.
What they were will now forever be forgotten.
-
"You used to call me Keiji, Koutarou."
YOU USED TO CALL ME KEIJI, KOUTAROU!!!!!!!!!!
i beg you to listen to Spiegel im Spiegel when it’s first mentioned in the story please
i read this and screamed through my tears for a solid 1.5 hours. i rarely cry.
no f*ckin regrets though i read this thrice already and it hurts so good every time
rules by conesofdunshire ☆☆ | E
In which Akaashi Keiji is an overworked accountant who stumbles upon Bokuto one night playing the piano in the lobby of his work. Bokuto is different, that much is obvious. But with such supreme musical talent and a smile so dazzling it rivals the sun, there's just something about him that brings Akaashi back every night.
this fic. this fic has my whole, broken, sobbing heart and laughing soul
gorgeous. breathtaking. magnificent.
bokuto is so WARM and akaashi is so STRONG and they both find the solace they need in each other and it’s all i want for me 😭😭😭
in another life by littleluxray | T
Sleeping didn't come as easy as it used to. Bokuto knew this, and now Akaashi did, too.
The hospital AU that no body asked for, but that I took upon myself to write.
this is a famous fic that i doubt any seasoned haikyuu reader wouldn’t know, and RIGHTLY SO BECAUSE, the PAIN. the pain. the pain.
i could feel my lungs shrivel up and my chest cave in on itself. fatigue and rest are things i struggle with too so this whole story resonated with me from start to finish, and it broke me. in like, the best, most revitalising way
i would read this again but it still haunts me at night. i need to heal from the first time before i have the guts to try one more time HAHAHA 😆💔😭
tea-stained polaroids by dalyeau | G
“I'm gonna date that,” Bokuto declares solemnly, and Kuroo throws a plastic spoon at his head.
mmmmmmm pretty photographer + personalised coffee cups + cute baristas = diabetic fluff fic
i smiled so much throughout this you have no idea. cheeks achey but so good
i may have squealed a little at the ending
kurotsukki
moonfall by batman | T
There is no unlearning Tetsurou, after all. There is only leaving him.
-
(Five things of Tetsurou's that ended up in Kei's home, and one that never left.)
the writing!!!!!! is pure beauty!!!! sheer grace!!!!!!! the construction of the AU and the romanticism and hsjsgsjshsj
didn’t cry but. heart ache and bittersweet smiles are another level of misery that is just as fulfilling
yea just pleasepleasepleaseplease go read it thank you and have a good day
hidden gem by realmSpinner | E
Things get complicated when everything you thought you knew about a guy changes, and they get even more complicated when you actually start liking those changes.
That guy working with you AND becoming your neighbor? That's just a cherry on top of the cake of confusion.
this AU was refreshingly different, and amazingly so
top!tsukki??? sign me the f*ck up
the whole plot, man. perfection.
pings by barfs ☆☆ | T
[5/02/16, 3:50:17 AM] Tsukishima Kei: Please wake up.
[5/02/16, 3:50:23 AM] Tsukishima Kei: I hate begging. You know I hate it.
[5/02/16, 3:50:34 AM] Tsukishima Kei: I bet you’re snickering at that, wherever you are.
[5/02/16, 3:50:53 AM] Tsukishima Kei: But, it keeps hurting and I don’t know why and it feels like shit and I know you could tell me why, but you’re not here and I would really appreciate it if you’d just wake up.
[5/02/16, 3:51:02 AM] Tsukishima Kei: You’re laughing at that too, aren’t you.
[5/02/16, 3:51:10 AM] Tsukishima Kei: Dying is probably up there in the list of top ten shitty things you’ve ever done, and you’ve done a lot of shitty things.
god.
you already know what’s coming, and yet. when it comes.
how the f*ck did the author make grief beautiful????????? (at the expense of me dying along with kei and everyone else i guess)
this fic will ruin you and bury you under all your pain (i hope you’re ready)
but also put you back together with the “sequel”
kyouhaba
close to the chest by darkmagicalgirl | T
It takes Yahaba thirteen years to realize he's different from the other kids, one to figure out how to hide it, and two more to learn to be happy just the way he is. Yahaba's journey ft. an extremely annoyed Kyoutani, best friend in the world Watari, and loads and loads of good senpai Oikawa.
cause i’m (not) alright with the slow, burn~
no fr, take slow and burn very seriously
overthinking yahaba? i understand. i do.
again, such an amazing fic; 10/10 recommend
safe here by crossbelladonna ☆ | M
“Raids are routine work,” Kyoutani tells to Yahaba before he can air the question. “Sometimes there is no sleep done until we accomplish something, say kill a certain ghoul. I guess they’re still going through the possibility that people in the accident are still alive huh?”
Yahaba quirks a smile, pushing his mask up his head.
“You’re alive.”
Kyoutani looks at him intently and all of the things that they’ve gone through for the past month seems to flash in his mind.
“Yes I am.”
i haven’t watched tokyo ghoul but i understood everything perfectly. such is the power of f*cking kickass writing
*cue ugly crying and a lot of unresolved angst*
like the grief??????? ruin me please thank you 🙏 (i think i’m a little masochistic)
rare pairs
mannequin men by surveycorpsjean ☆ | M
[bokuto/akaashi/kuroo/tuskishima]
The modelling world is full of hungry wolves, constantly clambering over the other, snarling and desperate. They fight, and they kill, trampling over anything in their path.
In this case, Akaashi fell in love with the wolves.
i did not expect this to be good, and it wasn’t. it was SPLENDID.
akaashi is so enamoured with them from the get go i love it
a tiny bit of angst that stabbed me in the heart, but the happy ending soothed it (thankfully, because if there wasn’t one i will sue)
characterisation, writing, plot development; everything is great. can you tell i’m running out of synonyms for ‘beautiful’
feel like gold by heronfem ☆☆ | T
[bokuto/akaashi/kuroo/kenma]
In which Kenma is unapologetic and comfortable with who he is, Akaashi learns a lot about himself in a short period of time, Kuroo is wildly in love and an eternal survivor, and Bokuto remembers that love doesn't cure mental illness, but having a support system sure helps a lot.
Or, the one where 4 young men get together, and are helplessly, hopelessly, utterly in love despite everything.
e.e. cummings?? poetry??? f*ck yes
so beautiful. i’m so star-struck by this fic it’s simply stunning
there are no words to fully capture how worth your time and heart and mind reading this fic is so please. do yourself a favour, and fall in love with this fic with me
the sky and guilt are the only feelings i have left by oopsthisisqueertoo ☆☆ | not rated
[bokuto/akaashi/kuroo]
Akaashi is at his wits end. He feels nothing. He's quickly crumbling as a human being. He wants nothing but sweet release of death. In his fourth year of college he drafts a plan for his suicide. He is to graduate, publish writing for others to be inspired by, and slip quietly away. Shortly after, he meets a dog walker named Bokuto who asks him out and Akaashi reluctantly agrees. Nothing matters anymore and he treats Bokuto like an obligation. Until he's not anymore.
TW: SUICIDE ATTEMPTS & DEPRESSION
this was... this gutted me entirely and filled my body with too many shades of agony
arguably one of the best haikyuu fics i’ve ever read
so beautiful in the most painful way fathomable; strongly recommend
april to may by surveycorpsjean | T
[bokuto/akaashi/kuroo/tsukishima]
They're an odd family.
The four of them? Parents?
But still, they're a family.
So they'll support each other until the end.
aaahhhhh third gym as parents 🥺
so much fluff. i also love april and may
they’re still so in love there’s love in every millimetre of this fic :”)
that’s it for now! i’ll add more if i come across anymore good fics. i hope you enjoyed this list! if you have any requests/fic recs, or if u just wanna chat, feel free to just ask! hehe 🥰 k aight bye~
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romanticchemacademic · 4 years ago
Text
Dear future health professionals and stem professors,
We need a revolution of thought. Only through a renaissance of pure and genuine passion towards medicine and other sciences will we have competent doctors, nurses, other healthcare workers, and teachers. We live in a world where people pursue noble professions for the sake of social and economic advancement. However, we lack individuals who love the process of learning and their career.
I recollect quite a marvelous excerpt written by one of the world’s greatest scientific minds, Albert Einstein. In his book, The World As I see It he writes:
ACADEMIC CHAIRS ARE MANY, but wise and noble teachers are few; lecture rooms are numerous and large, but the number of young people who genuinely thirst for truth and justice is small. Nature scatters her common wares with a lavish hand, but the choice sort she produces but seldom.
We all know that, so why complain? Was it not ever thus and will it not ever thus remain? Certainly, and one must take what nature gives as one finds it. But there is also such a thing as a spirit of the times, an attitude of mind characteristic of a particular generation, which is passed on from individual to individual and gives a society its particular tone. Each of us has to do his little bit towards transforming this spirit of the times.
Compare the spirit which animated the youth in our universities a hundred years ago with that prevailing today. They had faith in the amelioration of human society, respect for every honest opinion, the tolerance for which our classics had lived and fought. 
  I believe that one of the faults lies within education institutions. Educators rely on testing, textbooks, and detached memorized lectures. Lectures lack passion and another essential factor: the real practice. The theory is important but the practice is necessary to understand the theory. But without passion, nobody will learn to love the material being taught. Ibn Sina is known for being one of the greatest physicians and teachers of Islamic medicine. I am not completely sure whether what I am about to mention is true. But I read that when he lectured theory to the medical students at the Madrassa (University) he would show them how it worked. Besides medical history and theory. He also taught physics, astronomy, philosophy, and mathematics. However, he is also famed for being an excellent teacher duly because he would take his students to test out the theories and practice what they have been taught. If they were learning medical theory, they were taken to the hospital to observe patients and their cases. If they were learning astronomy, they would all gather in the evening to look up at the heavens to look at the constellations. Lastly, his passion for his vocation was the final touch. Educators without the drive cannot teach. Learning is about understanding oneself, others, and the world. Learning evolves our minds and our spirits by making us get in harmony with the universe. I believe this ties in with Aristotle’s famous saying, “The unexamined life is not worth living”. Though my interpretation may be a wee bit off, I translate it as thus; we can gather all textbook knowledge as possible but if we do not put into practice the knowledge learned, what is the point? I yearn and I pine to experience all that I have learned. I want to see why the theory makes sense in reality. I want to conduct experiments. So much potential is being wasted. Biology is the study of life. However, when I took the course, it was so cold to a point that it did not even feel like I was studying the human body but something alien instead. There is also such a rush to memorize material within a couple of weeks because of exams that the material ceases to be interesting and becomes more of an arduous chore instead. Our sense of time-shifted completely after the industrial revolution. Perhaps this is a reason why we feel the need to rush through everything and not take our time to study profoundly. 
We need another Scientific Revolution, curious minds thirsting for the acquisition of knowledge and unanswered questions. However, I believe that the leading force behind this is a necessity. I would like to mention an example to illustrate what I mean from a novel I read a while ago called, The Physician by Noah Gordon. A boy from Medieval Europe lost his mother from an unknown disease leaving him orphaned. He then grew up with the necessity to learn what the disease was and how to prevent other similar deaths, so that others do not suffer what he has suffered. He then worked with Barbers (people who performed medical procedures in Medieval Europe). But the medical knowledge these professionals had was not enough to answer his question. Thus, he traveled to Persia where there was a quite renowned and exclusive medical school. He did not have the economic means or previous schooling to attend but he impressed the headmaster with his passion and knowledge. Thus, the headmaster admitted him into the Madrassa. The European boy then invested all his time doing research, dissections and treating patients until he finally found out what ailment caused his mother’s death, side sickness (appendicitis). He figured out a way to treat this illness, removal of the appendix. From his initial necessity which was the driving force for him to pursue a medical career, he became a famous physician and felt that all his suffering and odyssey were worthwhile. The sense of necessity leads to the feeling of passion. It was his love for his mother that made him follow such a journey full of obstacles. I am beginning to apply that to my own life. I want to figure out my necessity which will be the driving force to power through university and medical school without ever feeling burnt out. I want to feel fulfilled. I believe this is what all pre-medical students and teachers should think about. What is your necessity? We are going to be dealing with human life, someone’s mother, father, friend, sister, uncle, lover, husband, or child...It is not something to be taken lightly. I know so many doctors lacking empathy because they went into the medical field with just the intention of being acknowledged as “Doctors” and getting rich. But I feel that even the most apathetic healthcare workers can become great empathetic professionals the moment they realize that something was triggered deep inside them, perhaps a loved one having an unknown disease. This would lead the apathetic doctor to do mass amounts of research to try to find a cure. This feeling becomes a necessity. A necessity to not lose the loved one. A necessity to save lives. Thus, finding passion, purpose, and becoming a better person. Though each person is different, we all share a selfish feeling. Most of the time we do not truly care about other peoples’ suffering until it happens to us. Once we are affected by something, we drive all our time and attention to find a solution or a way to deal with a problem. We become consumed and completely obsessed by it. I regard this as passion. I do not think passion subsides, it lingers on inside us. It is a fire that never burns out. I remember my high school teacher writing in my yearbook:
Remember a few things, BE PATIENT. You are eager and you will accomplish so much. But take your time, you are always rushing. Life is a journey, it is not about the destination. Be picky. You love everything with enthusiasm but enthusiasm can burn out. Find a fire inside yourself that burns for a long time.
-V
We cannot rush our personal legend. I believe it comes to us. It is Maktub (it’s written). But we also have to do something. Imagine you are on a stranded island but you have a machete, a fishing rod, coconuts, a cave for shelter, wood for a fire, an ocean full of fish. Everything required for survival is there, but you simply have to cut open the coconut with the machete, go fishing for food, fire to cook, and warmth. The fish isn’t going to swim right into your hands and the fire will not light itself. We must use our resources and do our bit. The Universe has a lot going on, we must help out a bit.
If you ever think about quitting, try to remember what made you start your odyssey in the first place. I do not know what my necessity is yet but that is okay. I believe it will come to me eventually. So for now, I simply love to romanticize academia. I like to imagine the: earthy tones of the universities archways, cobblestone paths, laboratories with clean Erlenmeyer flasks, beakers, pristine white lab coats, bunsen burner flames changing colors as different salts are added, Bromothymol Blue pen stains, elegant calculations inside a worn leather-bound notebook, formulas scrawled over the blackboard, forgotten cold Irish breakfast tea on the desk, academics discussing theories, applause from a successful experiment, gray rainy days spent inside the lab, Whitman, Hemingway, et Sir Arthur Conon Doyle being read during break, intellectual conversations with professors, chemistry reports being written, molecular models built, volumes of ancient words, fire slowly burning in the stone fireplace, trying to understand, looking at the constellations on a clear night in the astronomy tower, reciting poetry, Tchaikovsky playing whilst completing a long lab report on Lê Chatelier’s theory of Equilibrium, curious minds, sleepless evenings in the library, beautiful anatomical illustrations...Just imagining these things motivate and inspire me to continue my path. Though it may seem superficial, it awakens something inside me. I yearn and I pine to become a Chemistry Romantic. 
I want to conclude this letter by saying that pupils and educators keep ideals alive and can change them accordingly as well. We have the power to become excellent professionals or simply exist and do nothing for the human race. But if you plan on becoming a physician or educator, you must find the trigger which brings your passion to life, your necessity. Once you find that, you are guaranteed greatness and fulfillment. However, do not rush. Perfection takes time. A couple of obstacles should not hinder you from persevering. Many will tell you to give up but do not. That is the Universe testing you. Do your best until you master the topic. Once you know better, you are then able to do better. 
Regards,
Confessions from a Chemistry Academic
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harrypotterximagines · 4 years ago
Text
Picking Mushroom: A Severus Snape Short One-Shot
It was nearing the end of May at Hogwarts. A warm breeze danced through the large open windows that littered the halls, students chilling on window sills and spending a great deal of time out at the Quidditch pitch was evident of the beginning of summer. Trips to Hogsmeade became popular as students ditched their heavy winter coats for light jean jackets. It was perfect weather to enjoy with one's friends.
However, Zoe Kingsley found herself enviously staring at her fellow Slytherin peers, dressed up and ready to spend all their galleons at Honeydukes. It should be criminal to have detention on a Friday evening. Her back pressed against the cool cobblestone wall of the Slytherin dungeon, aimlessly idle as she waited for Professor Snape to come around and begin detention.
Her hands grasped at her tie as she unloosed it, growing anxious as time ticked on. She heard horror stories from her friends on how tough and nasty Snape could be during detention. She never received any sort of serious punishment before in her life. She was a well-round student, too busy trying to outshine Gryffindor and gain points for the House Cup. She was a dedicated Quidditch player as well, known for her insane Seeker skills. In Zoe's eyes, to be in detention with Snape, was a life-long sentence at Azkaban.
She took in a giant breath, her chest heavily heaving as the smell of moss and Blood-Replenishing Potion wafted through the air. The halls, especially around Snape's classroom, always smelled like some sort of mythical and magical scent. There was never any smell of flowers or fresh air, just mythic ingredients that bubbled into creation. As the halls gradually grew emptier, Zoe secretly hoped that Snape has forgotten their little evening together and she was free to go. But the sound of jangling keys and heavy footsteps made her fill with dread.
A tall, cloaked man dressed in black swooped down the hall. Emerging from the shadows like a bat coming out of its cage, Snape's cloak wildly whipped behind him as turned a cold shoulder on Zoe, unlocking his classroom door. He stepped in without a word, silently slithering to his desk and rummaging through his drawers. When he noticed the girl didn't follow him, his rock hard force turned sour, a disapproving scowl telling her that if she doesn't follow him, it'll be a long night.
Zoe took a few cautious steps inside the classroom, the door closing behind her once she was fully stepped in. Zoe looked around the dust-covered room. She could hear soft waves of the Black Lake hit the stained-glass window. His classroom when no one was in it was surprisingly calm. It was quiet, tranquil. It was also cold and typically dark, so when Snape didn't bother closing the curtains, Zoe could see the dust dance in the minimal amount of light that broke through the Black Lake. Zoe knew that the sunset outside must've been strong if it was enough to break through the swampy green that inhabited the Slytherin windows.
Zoe walked over to where she usually sat; in the back, a perfect corner to be hidden by the shadows. She plopped her heavy over-the-shoulder bag onto the desk. She was expecting to bang chalkboard erasers or grade student exams but when Snape stopped what he was doing and stared at her like she was insane, she assumed otherwise.
"Lucky for you, Miss Kinglsey, we won't be hosting detention in my classroom," Snape droned out.
Zoe's eyebrows furrowed, confused as to where they were going and what she would be doing.
"Do you understand the concept of the outdoors?" Snape scoffed, his beady eyes not breaking contact with hers.
"I'm sorry, sir, I didn't think we would be going outdoors."
"I best advice you to stop doing that or else your brain might explode," He snapped.
Zoe grabbed her bag again, her cheeks going numb and she could feel the blood rush to them. She understood her professor put on a mean persona, but she didn't know he was going to keep it going after hours.
Snape stepped away from his desk with two black wicker baskets, the front door to his classroom magically opening as he began to walk out without a word. Of course, Zoe was expected to follow without question. And this time she did so correctly. Snape sped down the hallways, Zoe finding herself having to occasionally jog to match his pace.
Suddenly, the two found themselves stepping into the warm sunlight and touching the soft, delicate grass the Hogwarts grouds had to hold. Chatter and banter muffled in the distance as birds chirped through the skies. Zoe could hear the chariot clambering away on the rocky pavement, heading into Hogsmeade. Desperately, she wished that was her. She blindly followed her Professor as they continued their journey. Zoe was hoping that Snape was going to drop her off at Hagrid's and he was going to take care of her himself. But when they passed his hut and his magnificently massive mountain of cauliflower, Zoe frowned to herself once more.
She realized where they were heading as they approached the Forbidden Forest. Zoe was convinced that time functioned differently in there. It was always a pale, cold blue once one enters that forest. It always smells the day after it rains and it feels like harsh eyes are watching your every step. It was an ominous place, a world within its own that housed creatures still unknown to the Hogwarts student body. It was highly advised since First Year to never enter that place, Merlin knows what kind of animal would jump out and attack.
Zoe felt the warm breeze get replaced with a chiller breeze. Tallgrass tickled her calves as she walked deeper into the Forbidden Forest with her Professor. Her eyes tracked the deep depths of the forest, making sure that there wasn't a mysterious shadow watching them from afar.
"We're picking Bursting Mushrooms," Snape spoke. His voice echoed and danced through the rotting, decaying trees. Se felt like his voice bounced off for miles, her heart hammering. She was afraid that anyone could be listening to their conversation.
"You do know what that is," Snape said, suddenly stopping in his tracks, making Zoe bump right into him. "Right?"
Zoe groaned, taking a step back and looking up at her Professor with wide, alarmed eyes.
"It's for the Fire Protection Potion. Their home is located here, in the forest," Zoe said, trying to keep her voice as hush as possible.
Snape narrowed his eyes down at his student, his lips pursing thin. He was quiet for a couple of seconds until he began his trail again, mentioning that they're not going too deep into the forest. Even though it's been five minutes of walking, Zoe felt like hours have passed. It was so eerily dark and suspiciously quiet in the forest, the concept of time didn't feel like a real thing. Finally, Professor Snape handed Zoe the black wicker basket and instructed her to search the base of the trees.
"Now, remind me again Miss. Kinglsey, if I didn't know what a Bursting Mushroom would look like, how would you describe it to me?" Snape said, getting down on his knees as he stopped in front of a tree. His head tilted low, his hands pushing and plucking away the tall grass.
"It has. white stalk and a red bulb cap with white dots on it. They're pretty large, hard to miss, but they can also quickly shrink if they sense danger."
Snape turned his head around his shoulder to look at his student, an eyebrow raised high. Again, for a couple of seconds, he was quiet until he suddenly spoke, "Well, get to work."
Zoe began to slowly walk around the perimeter of the area, keeping an eye out for a bright red mushroom. It was fairly easy to spot them when there was a random gust of wind that tilted the tall grass to the side. Zoe quickly managed to pluck at least two with ease. She glanced over at her Professors basket that was seemingly already halfway full. She knew that they weren't going to leave anytime soon unless her basket was filled to the rim with Bursting Mushrooms.
"For someone so intelligent and fairly bright," Snape spoke up, his deep voice right behind Zoe's shoulder.
"Can you care to explain that burst of anger in my class today towards Mister Malfoy?"
Zoe quickly spun around, her heart dropping as her Professor shadowed over her.
"I-I just got angry with him. sir. The way he was talking to Granger just filled me up with so much hatred. It's not fair that he can get away with his speech but when I stick up for a friend, I get the repercussions-"
"There is a fine line between speaking up for a friend and violently shouting obscene things to a classmate because you allowed your emotions to rule your heart," Snape interrupted, eyeing Zoe down.
Zoe gulped, looking to the side.
"And as for Mister Malfoy, he is going to be receiving his punishment. I don't allow any of my students to get favorable treatment. That would completely contradict my honor code of teaching," Snape snorted, turning his back and continuing to look around.
Zoe bit back a smile as she continued to do the same, her thoughts racing wildly. She never experienced her Professor become so . . . open before. She was intrigued to find out if he would be giving her any more advice tonight and if so, what would it be? She knew he was a wise, strict man, but she didn't think that deep down, he was sensitive as well.
Zoe wondered what punishment Draco Malfoy would be receiving. She began to conjure up the idea of him writing a three-page long essay on bullying or how to be nice to your fellow peers. Zoe spotted a Bursting Mushroom, ready to pluck it from its natural habitat, turning to look at Snape.
"So what kind of punishment-" Zoe cut herself short as she watched fear grow in Snape's eyes. He dropped his basket and ran straight towards her, forcefully pushing her body to the side. As Zoe's body thumped hard onto the ground, narrowly missing a rock that could've caused a concussion, an exploding sound rang through her ears.
Zoe blinked as she tried to gain her eyesight back, the ringing slowly fading as she acknowledged what was happening. She desperately wanted to scream but no noise coming out of her mouth. On the ground, covered in burn marks that were freshly sizzling on Snape's skin, Zoe crawled over to her Professor, violently shaking.
Snape was knocked out cold, bits and pieces of the Bursting Mushroom Zoe forgot to pick scattered across and around his body. She grabbed his head, gently placing it on her lap as she wildly looked around, confused and scared. She didn't know what to do and if leaving him here was the right idea. Any spells of protection and healing left her mind as, she too, laid limp.
Zoe felt the darkness of Forbidden Forest taunt her, an overwhelming omen that no matter who you are, only bad things happen to those who enter. Zoe felt like the universes laughing stock, Dumbledore's words echoing in her mind since she heard them from day one: "The first years, please note... that the Dark Forest is strictly forbidden to all students." Now here she was, six years later, clearly avoiding his advice and now stuck in a situation she accidentally created.
Zoe felt the waterworks turn on and in an instant, she was crying. Her shoulders shook as she violently sniffled, her eyes blurring from the hot, salty tears that dripped down her equally red cheeks. She couldn't live with herself if she caused serious, life-long, and permanent damage to her Professor. Zoe looked down at the man, her tears dropping onto his face, sizzling and creating steam as they hit his burn marks.
This made Zoe weep even harder, the trauma of the sound scaring her. Tears began to flow out her eyes, a waterfall of sadness as they continued to splash on his face. Zoe felt an immense amount of guilt as she swept his hair away from his face, hoping that he'd wake up on his own soon- what was that?
Zoe suddenly stopped crying as she watched the inflamed skin on Snape's face began to patch up. She watched as his molecules and atoms began to stitch up, creating a barrier of new, untouched, fresh skin. The few remaining teardrops on Zoe's face hit Snape and on contact, his skin began to heal.
Zoe watched in pure amazement and complete shock. Was she imagining this? Was she seeing this right? Zoe couldn't quite comprehend that her tears saved him. As his face slowly began to heal, the man below her began to shuffle and groan. In a matter of minutes, Snape was sitting up by himself, rubbing his head and looking around, confused.
"I can explain everything to you once we get out of here, sir," Zoe rambled, quick to intervene before Professor Snape had to chance of loading thousands of questions on her.
Zoe quickly stood up and gathered both of their baskets, going over and helping her Professor get to his feet. By the time they officially left the Forbidden Forest, the pink, strawberry sky fell to a dark blue, stars twinkling as they became brighter the darker the sky grew. Zoe was glad that they didn't spend any more time in there after his accident and even more relieved that he was walking alright.
The walk back was deadly silent. Zoe could tell her Professor was deep into his train of thought. She didn't want to interrupt him or put him into another state of shock so she waited until they both safely made it back to his classroom. Zoe never thought she would be as happy as she was to feel the cool and dampness of the Slytherin dungeons until this very second.
Inside Snape's classroom, Zoe placed the wicker baskets on top of his desks, watching him as he slowly sat down in his chair. He stared at the baskets, once filled to the top of Bursting Mushrooms and one barely making a dent into it. Instead of lashing out, Snape simply looked up at Zoe and asked, "What happened?"
Zoe bit her lip, unsure if she wanted to fully tell him the truth. "Sir, maybe you should go see Madame Pomfrey? Just in case-"
"Miss Kingsley, what happened to me in that forest?" Snape demanded.
Zoe shut her eyes, breathing out a sigh.
"You got injured and you knocked out for a while. But then you woke up and now we're here so-"
"Zoe," Snape demanded.
"You got hit with a Bursting Mushroom that I was too slow to pick. You pushed me out of the way before it could get to me and you took the fall . . . I'm so sorry, Professor!" Zoe said, randomly bursting out into tears. She covered her face with her hands, embarrassed.
"I know I should've been watching what I was doing, it was an honest mistake, I didn't mean for you to get hurt!"
Zoe cried into her hands, overwhelmed by the number of emotions she felt in one day. Zoe heard the scrape of Snape's chair and a heavy hand on her shoulder. Her hands were taken away from her face as Snape wiped away her tears.
"I know, Miss Kingsley," He said in a soft, soothing voice.
"I won't hold this against you. I thank you for taking care of me and watching over me at that moment."
Zoe nodded, her bottom lip quivering as she took a couple of deep breaths to regain her control.
"I won't pressure you tonight, but there's going to be a day where you tell me exactly how you saved me, Miss Kingsley. Bursting Mushrooms don't give you typical cuts or scrapes."
Zoe nodded, licking her dry lips, exhausted.
"You're free to leave, Miss Kingsley."
Zoe felt a weight lift off her shoulders as she turned to walk towards the door. She wanted nothing more than a warm shower and a nice, long sleep. As her hand grasped the cool metal of the door, Snape called out to her one last time.
"And keep this little incident between us, Miss Kingsley."
Zoe looked over her shoulder at her Professor who was storing the mushrooms in a glass jar. She gave him a small smile and headed off to her dorm for the night.
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jaskierswolf · 4 years ago
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Hmmm Geraskier Legally Blonde AU. Music major Jaskier follows his long-time muse Chiridean to law school (what, like it’s hard?) but finds him smitten with all-star student Yennefer. Cue Jaskier needing the broody TA, Geralt’s help in not flunking out. Jaskier ends up rocking the high-profile case of Callonetta, even after evil law professor Stregobor attempts to toss him out. (I also needed an excuse to put Jaskier in a playboy bunny outfit. For reasons.)
I am so so sorry this took so long. I almost made it into a longer piece and honestly I may still use the scenes in this to expand into a longer fic on AO3 if I have time but for now...  voila! _____________
Jaskier was tearing his hair out. There was no way he would be able to get the grades he needed to get into law school. He was a musician for fuck’s sake. There were so many words and they were all so boring. The paragraphs blended together and blurred making it nearly impossible to focus. He groaned and thumped his head on the table. He could do this. He wanted to do this. He had just hit a wall. He’d been concentrating so hard for weeks, which was, quite frankly, impressive for him. That sort of focus was usually reserved for his composing.
“Come on, Jask. You can do this!”
He couldn’t do this.
“How’s it going, buttercup?” Triss asked as she popped her head around the door.
Jaskier pouted and gazed wistfully out the window at the parties in the street below. “I should be out there, Triss. I could have been up on the stage or snogging some gorgeous person behind the curtain!”
Triss smirked and put her hands on her hips. “Snogging?”
Jaskier winked. “Or fucking,” he added with a shrug. “Anything is better than this shit!” He said gesturing widely to the the stack of books on his desk.
“You could just give up?”
Jaskier gaped at her and huffed. “My muse!” He whined.
“Suit yourself,” Triss shrugged. “Ready to go again?”
Jaskier groaned but nodded as Triss passed him another test whilst setting an alarm on her phone.
“Go!”
He sighed but began to scribble furiously. He could do this!
__________
He’d fucking done it. Jaskier Pankratz was at Law School. His parents had never been so proud. They’d restored his inheritance to their estate and he finally had access to his bank accounts again. No more living on tips and barista wages for him. He grinned. He’d always known that Chireadan would be the best muse! He strutted down the halls dressed in his favourite black skinny jeans and a shocking pink crop top, his guitar slung over his shoulder and an ice coffee in hand.
It was time for the next part of his plan. It was time to get his muse back!
He smiled and waved cheerfully at his fellow law students as he danced through the corridors, sipping his ice salted caramel latte through a straw. Most of them looked at him as if he was from another planet. Their clothes were black, black and black. Did no one in law school know what colour was? Yes he was wearing black jeans, but his top was brightly coloured and more than a little bit sexy. He’d paired the outfit with some designer sunglasses, a gift to himself to celebrate his reunion with his credit card, and a pair high heeled ankle boots that laced up at the front. His fashion sense was just wasted on these clever folk.
He sighed dramatically and glanced up at the doors. He was absolutely not lost. It was just… nothing was very clearly marked. Perhaps that’s why you needed all the extra tests to get into law school, even getting to class was a fucking exam.
“Are you alright?” A deep gruff voice asked. “You look lost.”
Jaskier spun around and peered over the top of his sunglasses. His jaw dropped. The man in front of him was fucking gorgeous. He had the most beautiful silver hair that was pulled into a bun, revealing a sneaky undercut on either side of his head. He was wearing a black turtle neck that was a tad too tight and stretched over hidden muscles, and on his face were a pair of thick black rimmed glasses. It shouldn’t have been so sexy but holy mother of fuck. Even the ratty old tweed jacket looked good on him.
“Lost in your eyes maybe,” Jaskier winked and bit his lips.
“Hmm.”
And then he turned and walked away. Jaskier pouted. The man must be straight. There wasn’t even a blush on his face, either that or Jaskier was losing him game.
Nah. It wasn’t that. He looked fucking hot and he knew it.
Jaskier hurried after him and placed a hand on his arm. “Wait! No. I’m sorry. I am lost, like actually lost and not just in your eyes, although can I just say,” he gestured to the man’s body. “Wow. What colour are your eyes? Yellow, no golden… doesn’t matter. They are gorgeous.”
The man raised an eyebrow at him.
“I’m Jaskier by the way. Jaskier Pankratz.” He held his hand out to shake but the man ignored it so he ran his fingers through his hair instead.
“What class?”
“Oh umm, excellent question,” Jaskier stuck out his tongue and he dug through his pockets for his schedule. It was already coffee stained and torn in the corner but who gives a shit. “Professor Stregobor?”
The man let out a weary sigh and pressed his fingers to his forehead. “Fuck.”
Jaskier tilted his head and put his free hand on his hip as he sipped his coffee. “Why ‘fuck’?”
“You’re not going to last two minutes. Follow me.”
Jaskier’s eyes widened. What was that supposed to mean? “Oh hang on!”
“Follow me.”
Jaskier’s jaw snapped shut. He hadn’t even made it to class yet and he was starting to regret everything.
_______________
“Come on…” Jaskier drawled as he rest his chin on his hands. The table was sticky and covered in beer but he ignored it. He had a job to do. He jutted out his bottom lip and widened his eyes at Chireadan.
Chireadan like everyone else in this damned party was dressed casually in a rather lovely blue jumper and chinos. Jaskier, who had been invited to the party by one Yennefer Vengerberg, was wearing a black corset, fishnet tights and a ridiculous pair of bunny ears. He should have known better than to trust Yennefer. She was fucking gorgeous and a phenomenal lawyer but she had taken a dislike to him. It was shame. He was pretty certain that under different circumstances they could have been friends. She was just ambitious and did not hesitate to trample on others to get what she wanted. He respected that.
It just had a few unpleasant side effects. Like turning up to a non-costume party dressed as a playboy bunny. At least he looked cute.
“No, no. Out of the question!” Chireadan said in his adorable little accent. It was what had drawn Jaskier to him in the first place. “I’m just not interested anymore.”
Jaskier let out a soft whine and batted his eyelids. “But I need you, you’re my muse!”
“Well you’ll have to find a new one. I’m done being fodder for your terrible songs.”
And like that the spell was broken. Jaskier gasped and sat back in his chair. “I. You. What?!” He shrieked.
“It was just one love song after another, and none of them even made sense? Do you even know how to rhyme? And we’re not even in love.” Chireadan huffed. “I want a girlfriend and I can’t do that with you trailing after me acting like a lovesick puppy. No. Julian. We are done.”
“Oh no. We are not done because you say so. We are done because you are a terrible muse with fucking awful taste in music. I cannot believe I wasted years on you!” Jaskier snapped. “I was just trying to repay you for saving my life but you. you.. ungrateful swine!”
“You’re acting like a child.”
“I’m a musician! I’m allowed to be dramatic!” He yelled and stood up, kicking the chair out from underneath him. “Yennefer Vengerberg will never love you. You’re wasting your time.”
“I know,” Chireadan sighed wistfully. “but I love her.”
Jaskier scoffed and fled the house. His pride was wounded. Not only had Stregobor called him a talentless fool who would never succeed in court, his muse, his precious muse had insulted his songs. He was fucking done with it all. He should never have come here.
His eyes stung and his throat ached as he bit back a sob. “Fuck!”
He shivered just as a heavy coat dropped around his shoulders. He touched the fabric in the dark; tweed. He smiled into his lap; Geralt. He felt Geralt sit next to him silently and he rest his head on Geralt’s shoulder.
“I spoke to Yen,” Geralt said in a low whisper. “I’d like to say she’s sorry for the costume joke.”
Jaskier chuckled. “Of course she’s not.”
“No.”
“Thank you.”
“Don’t mention it,” Geralt grunted.
Jaskier sighed dramatically as he looked up at the stars. “What am I doing here, Geralt? I’m a musician, not a lawyer, and apparently I can’t even do that right.”
“What? Who said that?”
“Chireadan,” he whined.
“He knows fuck all,” Geralt growled.
Jaskier sat up and stared at Geralt in disbelief. “Does this mean you like my music, Geralt?” Geralt scowled and refused to meet his gaze. “Oh come on, I’m having a shit night. Humour me?”
“I like your music.”
“What do you like about it, three words or less?”
“Jaskier,” Geralt groaned.
“Please!”
“It’s catchy.” A pause. “And I like your voice.”
Jaskier swallowed as he tried to remind himself how to breathe. He was certain it was the booze and Geralt actually being nice to him for a change but he suddenly had an overwhelming urge to kiss him. He cupped Geralt’s face, turning it gently so he was looking at Jaskier. “Thank you, my dear.”
“Hmm.”
Geralt’s eyes flickered down to Jaskier’s lips. There was no mistaking that and even in the dark Jaskier was pretty sure he could see a blush on Geralt’s cheeks. He was fairly certain that if Geralt didn’t kiss him now, he might die. He licked his lips and tilted his head at his friend. “Geralt?” He asked quietly.
Geralt hummed, the ever present scowl on his forehead deepening. “Yeah?”
“Kiss me?”
And he did. Then he did it again, and again, until Jaskier had forgotten all the sadness in his heart because all that mattered were Geralt’s lips against his. __________ Tag list: @alwenarin @slythnerd @davidtennan-t @flippinfricks @innocentcinnamonpun @marvagon @elliestormfound @geraskier-trashh @panerato @moonysourenza @artistsfuneral @victorieschild @hailhailsatan @wherethewordsare @havenoffandoms @bitchy-witchy-post-mortem @electricrituals @geralt-of-riviass @00qtee @kittynannygaming @stinastar @scribblesonmapleleaves @thecomfortofoldstorries @fontegagrilledcheese @anythinggoesfandoms @veritasrose @trickstermoose67
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masterjedilenawrites · 4 years ago
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Blueberries and Cowboys: Chapter 1
A choose-your-own-adventure style fic. First, 2 platonic chapters for set-up/build-up. And then, the story will split into 2 paths depending on your romantic pairing preference: You and Thrawn, or You and Eli.
Set Up: You are an outcast at the Imperial Academy, which means your only options for friends are the tall and stoic Chiss Mitth'raw'nuruodo and his translator from Wild Space Eli Vanto. The three of you get along, for the most part... Thrawn is obsessed with acing all the exams, Eli is desperate to show up his classmates, and you... well, you just want to feel like you belong somewhere. And hiding beneath it all are your unspoken feelings, longing to be realized, but fearful of ruining the balance of your trio's friendship....
Chapter Masterlist
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Chapter 1: The Problem
Pairing: None yet, just a nice friendship trio
Chapter Warnings: Mentions of bullying
Length: 2k
AO3 Link (In case you like it better over there, it’s okay, no judgement)
You wound down the hallways of the building with a scowl on your face. You would never grow used to this ridiculously long walk, from your first class of the day to the next, so conveniently located on complete opposite sides of the facility. Whoever had designed your schedule this year was either an utter imbecile or had done so on purpose, just to tick you off. At this point in your education here at the Imperial Academy, you knew either scenario was equally likely. You weren't exactly liked by the staff or your peers, and there were plenty of idiots to go around.
The one saving grace of your journey was that you would eventually cross paths with the only two friends you had managed to make in this elitist hell-hole: Eli Vanto and Mitth'raw'nuruodo.
Eli would be the first, his class letting out just a few corridors away from yours. He was leaning against an alcove in the wall just out of the way of passing traffic, his usual spot. When you rounded the corner, he pushed off and fell into step beside you.
"What happened?" you asked, having noticed he was scowling as well. His resting face usually made him look like a sad puppy, so for him to have such a prominent frown this early in the morning, something really upsetting must have happened.
"Lost the debate," he grumbled.
Ah, you'd forgotten he had that today. You and Thrawn had helped him practice for weeks, covering every possible argument and rebuttal from his opponent on the assigned topic. He had it in the bag, or so you'd all thought.
"What? How? Don't tell me you got stage-fright."
He glared over at you. "No, I wasn't nervous or anything. I did everything perfect. But all Arden had to do was throw in a few snide remarks about my accent and that got the whole class turned in his favor."
Eli started biting down on one of his nails in frustration. You frowned along with him. That was a variable none of you had accounted for while practicing.
"Is Arden the pimply-faced guy?"
"Yeah."
"Hate him," you muttered.
"Yeah."
The two of you paused at the doors of a lift, waiting for the previous occupants to exit before filing in yourselves and punching the button for the next level up. Eli was still chewing on his nails.
"Stop," you exclaimed, swatting his hand away from his mouth. "I told you that's a bad habit."
"Oh yeah, what's this then?" He grabbed one of your hands and twisted it around so you could see the splotches of chipped polish on your nails.
You jerked your hand away and held it defensively against your chest. "There's only so much I can do with this insane caseload, okay? I haven't had time to think about my nails."
"Then why'd you paint 'em in the first place?" he said with a bit of a laugh. Well, at least his mood was improving, even if it was at your expense. 
You swatted at him just as the lift doors opened. "Maybe I want to try feeling pretty sometimes, not like some zombie student."
You both were keenly aware that the cadets waiting to board the lift had backed up significantly as you passed, despite not having been in your way at all. They were all whispering too, and by the tone, it was probably not about very nice things. It was always like that, wherever you went. Even if they didn't know your reputations of being from wild, "backwater" planets, they need only hear one of you speak to know you were different. And in these Core worlds, different was inferior.
"You know you don't have to follow our course map, right?" Eli spoke up again, once you'd put some distance between the lift of sneering cadets. "Me, I don't have a choice. Thrawn's determined to graduate in as little time as possible, and I'm the sorry sucker who has to follow 'im. I'd run far away from the guy if I were you. Enjoy your freedom."
Eli complained about the last member of your trio, Thrawn, at least six times a day. And half of those complaints ended with him telling you to make a break for it. You knew he didn't mean any of it; the two of you had spent the last holiday break at a bar, and in his drunkenness, Eli had confessed to being secretly grateful for having met the Chiss. He only complained to cope with the stress.
And you... well, you weren't really sure why they let you hang around. They'd both easily become your closest friends, but you weren't always sure where you stood with them. Maybe they did like your company. Or maybe they just felt sorry for you. They were both friendly enough, allowing you to join them on Thrawn's "fast track" out of the Academy. But you had a feeling that as soon as you all graduated, they'd leave you behind and move on to whatever mission the Emperor had planned for Thrawn in the Navy.
You tried not to think about it too much.
Speaking of your friend, Mitth'raw'nuruodo emerged from a classroom doorway just a few paces ahead. Right on time, as always. His specialized "tactical statistics" class ended several minutes ago, but he had learned to carefully time your path so he wouldn't have to stand awkwardly in the hall waiting. It was for the best; you and Eli may sometimes draw unwanted attention, but poor Thrawn always stood out like a very big, very blue sore thumb.
"We have a problem," he stated, coming up on your other side. You never had to ask Thrawn what was wrong; if he had a problem worth sharing, you would hear about it.
"Hallway problem or 'fresher problem?" asked Eli.
You'd all agreed long ago there were some topics of conversation best had out of earshot from any passerby. And since most scurried out of the refresher whenever Thrawn went in, that became the only suitable place for such conversations, if it couldn't wait until your dorms at the end of the day.
"Refresher," Thrawn said. He looked down at you. "You'll be late for your class."
You shrugged. "If it's important...."
"It is."
You trusted him; he wasn't the type to make up drama or blow things out of proportion. The three of you picked up the pace, turning right instead of the usual left, and slipping into the men's bathroom. Thankfully it was already empty. Eli turned the lock just in case.
Thrawn wasted no time diving into the particulars. "I have come to learn our flight instructor, Commander Burdick, intends to sabotage my simulation tests next month. He is acquainted with Admissions Supervisor Aberdeen and understands that a failing mark will require a remedial course before being allowed back into the program. This would set my graduation back several months."
That was a problem. The flight course was one of the longer ones, and mandatory, and you were all so close to finally being through with it. Just one more round of simulation tests and then an actual flight around Coruscant.
Eli was groaning by the door. "You've gotta be kidding."
"I am not," said Thrawn in a measured voice. He knew it was just an expression, but you knew it was one of his pet peeves.
Eli wasn't listening, instead kicking at the tiled floor and mumbling about how this was so typical and why can't we just be left alone.
You turned to Thrawn. "Just you?"
"The ill will seems to be mostly directed toward me. Supervisor Aberdeen does not appreciate the special provisions that have been afforded me on behalf of the Emperor, and has coerced Commander Burdick to indulge in his spitefulness. However, I would not put it past them to also have plans for either of you, as well. They are aware of our... connection."
You were certain he was about to say friendship but changed his mind. Did he not know the word for it? Was he too embarrassed to admit it? Or did he truly not see you or Eli as anything more than connections?
"Okay, but..." Eli was still processing things. "How? What's their plan?"
"I purposefully said the Commander intended to sabotage the tests. He does not yet have a plan."
"So... we stop 'im," said Eli.
"Or," you countered, a mischievous smirk playing about your lips. "We don't."
Eli merely blinked at you, but Thrawn was very interested. "Go on," he encouraged.
"If we learn what the plan is, or maybe even give him a plan of our own, then we can let it play out and ensure he gets in trouble for it."
Thrawn rubbed his chin as he considered. You knew he'd soon slip into his usual routine of pacing and muttering in unknown languages, which could take a while and make you even later for your class. You cleared your throat, drawing his two red eyes back to yours.
"Surely a Commanding Officer wouldn't dare do anything to sabotage you directly," you offered. "He'll either look for some help or pin it on someone else, in case there's an investigation."
Thrawn rubbed his chin again. "You think we should influence the Commander on who to pick to be his... what do you call it, ensipki?"
"Scapegoat," Eli said quickly. It was becoming second nature for him to translate what was left of the holes in Thrawn's understanding of Basic.
"Right, and then we can expose the deception just before the tests," you said. "Before there's time to come up with another plan."
Thrawn's eyes narrowed in thought. "A decent idea, but it would require the education of one of our fellow cadets to be jeopardized. It should not be our first plan."
"But if he's going to use one of them anyway..." you started to protest.
"Then we should seek to expose his connection to that person as well. This is an instructor who is not serving the best interest of several of his students. He should be the only one blamed."
You weren't going to let his logic win this time. As far as you could tell, this was a perfect opportunity to get revenge on your obnoxious classmates. "It's going to be a lot easier to take issue up with the Board against a student than an instructor. We can try to expose both people, but if we can't, then at least we can nail one of them. It's called a scapegoat for a reason."
Eli spoke up before Thrawn could respond, throwing you a meaningful look. "Arden's in his class. Different time, same instructor."
"Who is this Arden?" asked Thrawn.
"The racist asshole who unfairly stole Eli's grade on the debate today," you said. You'd picked your words deliberately, and it did the trick.
"Very well. We have our scapegoat," said Thrawn.
You winked at Eli and he hid a smile.
"So," Thrawn continued, fully invested now. "We will need to push Arden toward the Commander as a viable accomplice. We will need to gain insight into the details of their plan. And then we will need to ensure those details are brought to light at the right moment."
The three of you looked among each other. This was probably the tenth plan this year alone that you'd all devised to take care of some kind of "problem." Just last week Thrawn  had discovered misinformation in one of your textbooks that took the three of you on a field trip to the lower levels of Coruscant to find a con-artist who'd sold a quarter-hundred counterfeit materials to the Academy library. You'd only had the weekend to catch up on all the rest of your homework, and here you all were again, ready to jump into another scheme.
You had suggested the idea, so you were already grinning and ready to go. Thrawn had just put together a to-do list, and you could almost see the gears in his head continuing to spin as he determined more points to the plan.
The deciding vote was Eli. Though he often complained about not having a choice, you and Thrawn rarely forced him to do anything and were always respectful if he had a differing opinion. This time, you had a feeling he'd be on board.
He set his hands on his hips and smirked. "Disgracing a shitty classmate and a shitty teacher in order to save our grades? Let's do it."
Next Chapter: The Plan >
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rei-jjang · 3 years ago
Text
Love Cloud
Part 2 of Cloud Nine
pairing: Mingyu x fm!reader
genre: fluff
warning/s: mention of the one night stand from Part 1
word count: 1703 words
synopsis: you decided not to think about the one night stand you just had but fate brought you back together.
now playing: Dandelions - Ruth B.
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You grabbed your phone when a notification rang.
You grabbed your phone when a notification rang.
35 missed call from Jun
‘I’m doomed.’ you thought before giving Jun a call back.
“For damn’s sake, Y/N. You made me worry!” Jun started the call with a scold. You’re used to it but it’s different this time because you just had a one night stand!
“I may have made a big mistake. Like BIG mistake!”
“What was that big mistake, my dear?” you were about to tell him what happened but because you can’t remember anything, you decided to hide it from him for now.
“Don’t worry, I’ll figure this out myself. Bye.” Before hearing Jun’s reply, you hang up the phone and put on your clothes.
After dressing, you noticed a sticky notes on the side table.
“Hey!
I don’t know how to start but I think we messed up last night.
It was part my fault so if anything happens to you because of last night, just call me back at this number. xxx-xxx-xxx”
‘Well, that’s fast.’ you were worrying how to figure all this but then voila, he left his contact number.
For now, you decided to go straight home to calm yourself.
-------------
After that night, you kept checking up on yourself as you’re afraid that one night stand might get you pregnant but so far so good.
1 week has passed and no way it’s already exam week.
“It’s been a week. Don’t you want to talk about the mistake you mentioned?” you and Jun were walking to the library when he asked what you have forgotten already. “Please, not now.” you blurted out not wanting to sound annoyed but you just did. Feeling guilty, you thought of an excuse.
“You go first. I forgot something in my locker.” After making an excuse, you really went to your locker for some reason.
On your way, you bumped onto someone that made what you were holding fell. “Oh my. I’m so sorry.” The guy who bumped into you apologized and started picking up the books you were holding. When he was handing out the books to you, you saw his face and a flashback went into your mind.
“Hey, I know you! Aren’t you the guy that made a fuss at the bar?!” you exclaimed when you finally remember where you saw him.
“Nope. It ain’t me. You got the wrong guy.”
“Don’t you know I have a 20/20 vision? I know it was you.” As if he lost the fight, he admitted you’re right. “You win. Yes, it was me.” you then looked closely at his face because you think you saw him not just at the bar but somewhere else.
“Didn’t we met after that fuss? I got drunk after and couldn’t remember anything else.” his eyes went big that made you nervous because he might know something that happened to you that night. “By any chance, did you see me with another guy that night? I’m trying to look into something but I couldn’t find anything until now.”
He let out a big sigh after speaking, “I may be the person you were looking for.” you gave him a confusing face that made him continue what he was indicating. “Look, I didn’t intend to happen what happened because for some reason, I got drunk too.”
You looked at him and you can see the sincerity in his eyes. You want to scream at him so bad but you were both a victim of the alcohol that night. “I left a contact number for you but you didn’t call so I assumed everything was fine.”
“Yes, everything’s fine, thankfully.” you don’t know what else to say so you just walked out. “Wait.”
“I know it’s exam week but is it okay to ask if you have any spare time for tonight? I want to tell you something.”
“Yes, sure.” you also want to make up so you decided to agree. “I still have your contact number so I’ll just text you the time and place.”
“I’m Mingyu, by the way.” he smiled and went his way, and so do you.
-------------
“Hi, Mingyu! You told me your name but I forgot to tell you mine. My name’s Y/N.
About a while ago, I’m available at 9:00pm. Let’s meet at the 17th park near our campus.
See you.”
sent
After typing what you wanted to say, you nervously sent the message to Mingyu.
*ding
“Gotcha! See you later, Y/N ;)”
‘Well, that was a quick reply’
You looked at the clock and you have 3 hours to study. ‘I guess that’ll be enough time.’
-------------
3 hours has passed and thankfully, you got to study the contents you needed for your exam 3 days later.
You hurriedly packed your things up, trying not to make noise inside the library. “Hey, you don’t need to walk me home for today. I’ll message you once I get home, I promise you this time.” You told Jun and walked out of the library.
When you arrived at the school entrance, you saw a familiar back.
brr brr
“Mingyu calling...”
You answered it and approached him, “Hey, I’m already here in the front--” you tapped his shoulders which made him get cut.
He turned around and saw you, “I’m here, too.” you answered and flashed him a smile. He smiled back and you suddenly felt your heart beat so fast. ‘Are you insane?! It’s just a smile, calm down.’
“Let’s go?” Mingyu hang up the call and led the way.
“You said to meet at the 17th park but I noticed it was getting dark outside so I decided to just meet you here.” He said as you two walked out of the school. Your heart is still beating like crazy that’s why you weren’t able to answer him.
When you arrived at the park, you sat down and Mingyu had the courage to speak up first.
“I know you have so many questions about that night and I want to confess something to you.”
= 1 week ago =
Mingyu’s POV
When the manager took over the bar, he gave me some water. “It will be appreciated if you drink this and sober up a little, sir.” Without saying anything, I drank the water he gave me. Thankfully, it really did helped me sober up a little bit.
While making myself sober up a little more, I saw you walking inside and instead of going back to the bar, you went straight ahead and had fun.
I don’t know what has gotten into me but I just found myself watching over you. You grabbed and grabbed yourself a drink until you’re drunk already. I wanted to approach you when you bumped onto someone.
He whispered something in your ears and next thing I saw, he was dragging you somewhere else. I followed and saw you entered a room. “Hi, sir. Did you reserved a room for tonight?” A lady blocked me. “No, but--”
“Sorry, sir but you are not allowed in this floor if you don’t have any reservation.” I can’t think of anything else but thankfully, I caught the room number where you entered. “Room 207.”
The lady looked at you. “The guy who entered in Room 207 just texted me to follow him.”
“If you want, I’ll show you his message to me.” I don’t know what came into my mind and said that knowing there was really no message from him. “It’s fine. I’ll escort you to the room.” With a relief, the lady escorted me to the room and opened the door for me.
When I entered the room, I couldn’t see you and when I went straight I saw him trying to undress you.
Without hesitation, I pulled him hard and that made him passed out quick. I guess he was so drunk.
I looked back to you and to my surprise, you were already standing in front of me and you suddenly kissed me. I wanted to stop you when you suddenly grabbed my hand and put it inside your underwear.
I don’t know what happened but I suddenly felt drunk once again maybe because you kissed me and all the alcohol from you went inside me.
Next thing I knew, something in me has aroused and I couldn’t help myself but make out with you.
When I woke up, I cursed myself out from what happened. I wanted to take responsibility if something happens to you that’s why I left my contact number.
= end of flashback =
“I know you won’t believe me but when I was watching over you while you were having fun, it was love at first sight.”
“It’s okay if you don’t believe at love at first sight but I assure you--”
“I believe you.” Mingyu looked at you and you ran into him, and hugged him. “I’m so glad you were the one I spent the night with.”
He pulled you and frowned. “Are you thankful about our one night stand?” He asked and you laughed. “No but yes.” He frowned once again and laughed.
“You know. Long story but I already knew you for quite a while now.”
“My friend would always drag me on every basketball game her boyfriend has and then I saw you. I started watching over you since then.”
“Then you developed some feelings for me.” you looked up to him and gave him a shy smile. You plopped down your face and nod. “Yes. That’s also one of the reason why I forced Jun to make me work in the club. Because I found out that you and your friend would hang out there after every ball game.”
He grabbed your face to make him look at you. “It must be fate that finally made us be with each other.” you smiled into each other.
After staring at each other’s eyes, Mingyu leaned down to give you a kiss. And without hesitation, you wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him back.
You both pulled out of each other to catch breath after your long kiss. “I like you, Mingyu.” you confessed and hugged him.
“I like you too, Y/N.”
4 notes · View notes
briefololtragedy · 4 years ago
Text
Two halves wanting to be whole
Pairing: Shisui x Sakura
Rating T (to be safe brief mention of a suicide attempt)
Summary: Shisui got his mark when he was 7 years of and was determined to find his other half. Sakura was born with hers and was not going to let a mark define her.
Words: 7809
Also posted on AO3
It was once said that humans didn’t look like they do today. Humans of the old times were said to have 4 arms, 4 legs, and 2 heads. They  were once strong, fearless, powerful beings that even the gods at one point feared. This fear led to them being split in two.  No longer were humans whole, they would venture the world searching for their other half. After the split it was easy to find the other half, a sense of completion washing over the couples once they were united with the other half. However, as time went on it became more challenging. The greed of man led to famine, wars, and death. Instead of looking for a perfect fit many opted to marry for advantage. Those bearing soulmarks dwindled in numbers. It was said that many always felt incomplete, many being  driven to insanity never being able to find their other half.  
Shisui remembers the stories well from when he was a child. His mother would tell him bedtime stories. The stories he loved the most were about soulmates. His clan is a large and powerful clan, one that strikes fear into the hearts of many. Yet he always wished for peace. He felt sorrow for those who ended up marked and never finding their one true person. Even at a young age he knew his life would be dictated by his clan. 
That’s why when he was 7 years old he didn’t understand why a mark appeared on his skin. A searing pain at the base of his skull made him fall to his knees. His younger cousin raced to his side, worry on his face. It was Itachi who first told him about his mark.  It was an intricate mandala design almost resembling a design of a sharingan, in the middle, surrounded by delicate swirls. His soulmate was going to be born within the year. 
At first he didn’t know what to do. He was scared of telling his parents. What would they think? What would his clan do? It was after the death of his mother during the nine tails attack that he told his father. His father sat there staring out the window, the sound of rain cutting through the silence. “The clan comes first, there is no place for love or soulmates. We have a duty to uphold you more than anyone else with your eyes and potential. This world is filled with many battles, don’t set yourself up for heartbreak that turns into insanity. Forget about the mark.” His father’s words would haunt him for years to come, even after his father passed. At times he was able to forget, his focus solely  on his clan and his village. However, over the years there was a piece of him that searched for his other half.
There were many theories as to why the amount of people with soulmarks dwindled over the years. One such theory was that once soulmates meet they would no longer bear the marks. The unlucky few who never found their soulmates over the centuries were cursed to wander missing their other half going mad. 
________________________________________________
Beeps could be heard in the background with the occasional ding in between. His throat was on fire and his body felt like he had been trampled by every villager and shinobi. Ever so slowly he tried to open his eyes. When did eyelids become like lead? As he blinked his eyes open the smell hit him. He was in the place no shinobi liked, the hospital. The last time he was in the hospital it was years ago, before his cousin Sasuke graduated from the academy. 
“Uchiha-san it's good to see that you have decided to wake up. I must say Itachi-san gave the staff quite the scare when he dragged you in over his shoulder in a bloody mess.” 
“Can you tone down the color in this room?” Shisui eyesight was being assaulted by pink. His mind was going into overload. He had spent months with his ANBU team traveling in the dead of night, scouring Rain and the villages around it. They were tracking a terrorist organization who was starting to make waves in the different hidden villages. The godaime wanted them nipped in the bud before they got bigger. Before they were able to head home, shit went sideways. 
“Hmm I have no care to change my hair color, but can close your blinds. Since you have woken up you will be transferring to one of the lower acuity rooms. Itachi-san and Sasuke-kun will be able to visit as they please with the move. It also means you will get a different medic Uchiha-san, who will likely have hair that isn’t so assaulting to your delicate eyes.” 
As his vision started to clear he realized who was standing in his room smirking at him. His little cousin’s teammate, apprentice to the Godaime, sweetheart of the village, and owner of a temper you don’t want to ignite. Rumor had it she also would do missions with certain ANBU teams, she had never been assigned to his. Part of his heart started to flutter. His interactions with Sakura Haruno have been limited to sparse. He blamed her unique colorings to his eyes always lingering on her over the years. Her soft petal pink hair and emerald green eyes were a stark contrast to anyone in the village.
“Hn “ When he didn’t know what to say he lowered himself to use his family's go to word. He then heard the medic sigh and roll her eyes. 
“I’ll perform a quick check of your system and then give you some pain medication. We were able to heal the internal damage caused by the poisons and injuries. The main goal will be working with physical therapy to get you back on your feet. This will put you on mission leave for at least a few months as you recover. “ Shisui wasn’t expecting the smell that hit him, he would have expected her to smell like flowers. Instead the smells of mint and vanilla, with hints of antiseptic, tickled his nose. Her chakra almost lulled him back to sleep as she was performing the exam. 
“Everything is looking good. Your chakra pathways are slowly recovering, it was a nasty poison that worked by destroying the pathways. Get some rest and when you are up to it we will start you on some liquids.” Just like that she left the room. He blamed the ordeal for his heart continuing to flutter. He leaned his head back and slowly drifted back to sleep. 
Giggles filled his ears as he started to wake up again. He couldn’t make out the conversation that was taking place. As he looked around his room he realized it was different, not as sterile, and Itachi had taken over a beat up side chair. “They are trying to figure out who gets the privilege to help you bathe.” Itachi didn’t look impressed. 
“What’s the difficulty I'm sure the more the merrier.” He couldn’t help but also wiggle his eyebrows. 
“ I know you better than that Shisui, you can drop the act. Father is looking into getting you moved into the compound for rehab. He doesn’t like the idea of you staying here.” Itachi was rubbing the bridge of his nose, the scroll he was reading long forgotten. 
Shisui leaned back again. He hated the confines of the hospital, but being stuck in the compound would be more of a lateral move. His thoughts were interrupted by a chorus of whining outside in the halls. 
“That’s not fair Sakura-sama!” The voices grated on his nerves “This is a professional workplace, we do not treat patients like prizes to be had. Now get back to work before all of you cleaning bedpans for the next month.” Scattering of feet then filled the air. 
“Itachi-san! Visiting your cousin, I see. I hope your injuries aren’t giving you any trouble.” Her voice was like springtime cutting through the air, light and airy. A part of him didn’t like that she was talking to his cousin over him. 
“Sakura-san they are not giving me any problems. The creams that you made and gave to Sasuke for me have helped.” Her smile was mesmerizing. Would she be assisting with his bath? A part of him hoped so, he could feel his heart race and palms start to sweat. 
“Shishui-san Ron will be in shortly to help with your bath. My apologies if the ruckus in the halfway disrupted your rest. Shizune is the one who oversees the rehab side of the hospital and is working with your clan for arrangements of you being moved out of the hospital.” The smile on her face was strained, he doubted they agreed with having him leave the hospital. For some reason he didn’t know what to say to her. As he went to open his mouth they were interrupted by a big burly man coming in with a washcloth and basin. No!
“Hello Uchiha-san I will be assisting with your bath.” Itachi had to hide his laugh behind a cough. 
“Thank you Ron. I'll leave his care in your capable hands.” Just like that Sakura and Itachi left the room, he felt betrayed by the snickers he heard as they exited the door. 
_________________________________________________
“Shisui please make yourself at home. We have arranged for you to stay in the lower level guest room so you don’t have to worry about the stairs right now.” Mikoto was like a second mother to him. After the death of his mother and then his father she took him in and made sure he was looked after. When he heard that he would be staying in the main house his mouth started to water at the thought of having Mikato-sans home cooking. This whole rehab thing may not be so bad, even if he had to share a roof with two of the prissiest members of his clan, Sasuke and Fugaku. 
Sasuke was 20 years old and consistently acted like he had a stick shoved somewhere unpleasant. He and his team had made jounin at 17. He had his eyes set on ANBU, always trying to follow in his older brother��s footsteps. Shisui remembered when Sasuke got his team assigned to him; he moped for weeks. Naruto was an idiot and Sakura was a useless cry baby with a crush on him -- Sasuke’s words. It was shortly after the first failed chunin exams that Sasuke stopped complaining about his teammates. Part of that may be due to his female teammate punching him in the face and breaking his nose after he insulted her and Naruto, citing them as the reason he wasn’t going to be a chunin. Over the years team 7 grew closer, each of the members growing in more ways than anyone imagined. Naruto and Sakura were frequently seen over the years in the main house, Mikoto taking them under her wing as well. 
Shisui ventured into his temporary room. He was going to have to get used to having so many people in a house with him. At 28 years old it had been over 13 years since he had someone live in the same house as him. 
“Mikoto-san do you need help with anything?” That voice made him stop in his tracks. His heart was pounding. 
“Sakura dear how many times do I have to tell you that guests don’t help.” Shisui had heard the rumors that Mikoto wanted the petal haired woman as a daughter inlaw, but it was likely a far off dream. 
“Are you sure? I really don’t mind helping.” It sounded like she had lost the battle when he heard her soft footsteps and felt her chakra going into the library. A force possessed him as he moved into the library. There she was sitting crossed leg with a book in her hand. 
“Shisui-san how are you feeling?” She didn’t even look up from her book, reminding him of a certain sensei. 
“Better. It's nice being out of the hospital and having real food.” Sakura hummed  in agreement with him. He went to grab a book to pretend to read. He sat down taking in the calming effects of her presence, but it didn’t last long. 
“Teme I’m telling you we need to do something, he’s not good enough.” Just like that her booked snapped shut and she was up. 
“Naruto! Sasuke! You two better not be thinking of interfering with another date that I have.” There was a feeling in his chest he didn’t like. While he didn’t know much about the 20 year old in front of him he had to agree with the blond idiot. 
“Hehe Sakura-chan I didn’t know you were here yet.”  Shisui tuned out the conversation and went to dive into the book he picked up. He had no business getting into whatever team drama was happening. 
______________________________________________
It seemed that no matter where he went Shisui got a glimpse of pink in his periphery. This time he had decided to go to a new tea shop with Itachi. There she was sitting at a table with a male that he knew from ANBU. 
The guy had sandy blond hair, brown eyes, and a slight tan to his skin. There was that feeling again. Sakura had an adorable blush covering her cheeks. Her laugh cut through all of the conversations. He wanted to be the one to make her laugh like that. He couldn’t explain why he wanted to rip the guy’s arms off when he went to grab her hands. 
________________________________________________
Shisui didn’t know when it happened, but he caught himself multiple times following Sakura. It was becoming his favorite pastime. He would watch her in the market taking delicate care of picking out her food. When he ventured to the hospital for a “check up” he would see her interacting with the staff, her patients, and the children. He liked watching her with the children most.  At times he caught glimpses of the sandy ANBU with her. Rage at times would overcome him when he saw them together. The guy was either holding her hand or had his arm draped around her shoulders as they walked.  
It was one night at dinner that he felt ice fill his veins. Team 7 would be going to Suna, where Sakura would be staying for at least a year to help set up a new training program. 
__________________________________________________
Sakura looked around her childhood home. Her parents passed when the village was attacked during the chunin exams that went so wrong. She felt like everything around her was suffocating her. Aito was sweet, but no matter how much she tried everything felt off with him. Sakura went to rub the back of her neck, knowing the reason why. 
The stupid mark was the reason for so much in her life. Sakura had not been born in Konoha, she had moved to the village before she could hold her head up. She was born with a smudged mark at the base of her skull. The people who she shared her DNA with had no desire to have a child cursed with a life of insanity, because that’s what was thought of those who had a mark signifying they had a soulmate out in the world. That led her to being adopted by the Haruno’s, a couple who could not have children of their own and wanting to share their love with a child. They were two of the kindest people she had known. 
It was when she was 5 years old her mother sat her down and told her about her mark. Sakura had wanted to chop her hair into a pixie cut, a hairstyle that would reveal the back of her neck. Her parents had come to accept what fate had dealt Sakura at an early age. They were a couple who fate was not kind to, they were subpar shinobi never able to become the elite. Her mother had been injured on a simple mission that left her unable to bare children of her own. 
At the tender age of 5 Sakura didn’t comprehend what the mark meant. Her mother had sat her down telling her there was another person who would be her other half. Sakura romanticized  this for years. However, when she got older her mother explained more to her. Marks signifying a soulmate were rare. Many of those who had the marks never found the other half, the ones who searched fell into insanity. Sakura found herself full of dread, realizing what that meant for her. She would likely never find her other half, the world was too big, and if she looked for them her mind would slowly slip into insanity. 
Her mother cupped her face, tears in her eyes. “This life is full of people being dealt with things outside of their control. You my dear are a beautiful, strong, and smart girl. Do not let this define you. Don’t waste your life thinking of what could be. Live your life for yourself. Only you can make yourself happy and don’t need another person to complete you.” Sakura decided she would not succumb to the insanity. She was going to make her own path. 
When Sakura entered the academy she took her mother’s advice and developed a crush on her classmate Sasuke, like all the other girls. It was a crush that cost her a precious friendship.  Her heart soared when they were placed in the same team. After their first real mission, she realized she was behind her teammates.Her chakra control was better than theirs, but her other skills were lacking. This was enforced more after their first chunin exams. It was also when she realized her crush on Sasuke was not worth it and when she realized she didn’t care romantically for Sasuke. Sitting there watching her teammates defend her and once they were injured she couldn’t do anything. Sakura found herself in the library studying medical ninjutsu. When Naruto brought lady Tsunade into the village, Sakura knew what she had to do.
Sakura found herself being the Sanin’s apprentice. It was during a training session she had felt the pain in her head. She was gasping for air, like the fish below her. The pain was unbearable. Her Shishou rushed to her side, she had to pry Sakura’s hand away from her neck. Her mark was turning red. “ You have a mark, you poor girl.” 
Sakura’s hand clenched into a fist, her tears falling down her face. “What’s happening? Why does it hurt so much?” 
Her shishou rubbed soothing circles on her back. “ Your soulmate is dying. I don’t know how long this will last.” After what felt like an eternity the pain was gone.
 Sakura asked the question she feared the answer to. “ Is it... gone?”  She felt Tsunade brush her hair to the side. 
“No, it appears your soulmate is still alive.” 
“Is it bad I wished it was gone?” Her voice was a whisper. Sakura had to pause for a moment. “ I found out about it at 5 and thought it was romantic, then my mother told me the stories. It once brought me comfort knowing there is someone out there who would accept me for who I am, faults and all. I thought of looking for them, but the words my mother told me stuck in my head. I refuse to feel like I’m incomplete. I live for myself. I have the power to choose who I decide to love and wont let some mark dictate how I feel. My parents choose to love me …” 
In a rare show of affection Tsunade hugged her. “Your mother was a wise woman.” 
It was then Sakura discovered a way to weaken the mark. It stayed imprinted on her skin, but she would never be a victim to its pull ever again, or so she thought. 
No matter how hard Sakura worked something always felt off. Over the last 8 years team 7 has grown into a family. Like her parents it was a family that chose her. She saw the hardships that civilians and shinobi faced as she went through the ranks. Her team didn’t know that over the last two years she would go on selective ANBU missions. It was then she decided to change the medical system. There needed to be a place for mental health in the village. Over the last year she had been working with Ino to build her dream. They were able to mend their friendship after the horror of the chunin exams, it was one of her most precious relationships. 
Sakura looked around her house, thinking of her mission. Gaara was interested in having part of the new program implemented in Suna, him having first hand experience with trauma. She would be in Suna for at least a year, which came as a refreshing thought. This house no longer felt like home. Ino was going to help her while she was away selling the house. Then there was  Aito, who she couldn’t bring herself even close to loving, she was going to break up with him before she left, it was only fair to him. She rubbed the back of her neck again, blaming the mark for another failed relationship. 
Sakura packed a few sealing scrolls with what she would need. Everything else would be sold with the house. She took one last look around before stepping out the door, with the door closing it marked a new door opening in her life. 
________________________________________
Sakura watched as her boys left. Their silhouettes gradually shrinking until they were but a memory. They had arrived in Suna 1 month ago. Sakura was placed in a small apartment near the hospital, it was smaller than her parents house, but it was hers. There were no old memories lingering in the air, instead there was hope for the new. Part of her heart ached. It was a feeling that intensified the more out of Konoha she went. She was able to push it down and place it in a box. It was time to get to work. 
________________________________________
It had been 6 months since Shisui was cleared for duty and 9 months since his stay in the hospital. He was ready to get out of the village. This morning he woke up Itachi for a spar, his muscles enjoyed the strain of the spar. “Lets get some breakfast, my treat Weasel-chan.” Shisui laughed as Itachi glared at him. Itachi may have the reputation as a powerful feared shinobi, but he would always be the same dango loving little boy from their childhood. It was hard to believe his cousin would be proposing to his girlfriend soon. 
“Fine, but you are paying.” Just like that they were off. While Shisui loved his aunt’s cooking, he almost (keyword almost) got tired of it. The shop was not busy yet making it easy for them to find a table. This was the same shop that he saw Sakura and Aito at almost a year ago it seemed. There was no melodic laugh from her this time. When the waitress came to take their order, he found himself basking in her attention.
 Part of him hated his playboy persona he was known by. He rubbed the back of his neck remembering his mark. It was hard going out with the different women of the village, no matter how beautiful they were something was always missing. Shisui also knew that the elders were planning on an arranged marriage for him if he didn’t find someone soon. This wasn’t the life he wanted. He would sacrifice his life for his clan and village, but he wanted to find that special person. He didn’t know what came over him with the obsession of Sakura Haruno following his stay in the hospital. Shisui boiled it down to that smirk on her face and how she didn’t seem to back down. 
Itachi and Shisui settled into an easy conversation. Itachi was worried about how to propose to Izumi. His cousin was an idiot to think the girl wanted something elaborate, Itachi could dress like a hobo with all his teeth falling out and she would say yes. 
Just as they were finishing their tea that a messenger found him, they were needed at the Hokage tower. Shisui bid farewell to the pretty waitress and left with his cousin. 
Lady Tsunade was standing looking out the window of her office when they entered. Genma was also there, the third member of their team. “Finally!” Tsunade turned around and gave them all a hard look. “ I have a very important mission for you three. As you are aware, one of our shinobi is currently in Suna on a diplomatic mission. She is helping them to establish a similar institute that caters to the mental health of the shinobi.  It came to my attention last night that they are in possession of an important and highly coveted item. I am entrusting you three to bring it back to Konoha. You leave this afternoon. Now go!” 
The three men looked at each other confused, but set off nonetheless. “ We will meet at the gates in 4 hours. It should take 2 days if we push to get there. The Hokage didn’t say what the item was, but it must be of importance for her to send us.”  
_______________________________________
Sakura wanted to sigh. She thought the council members  of Konoha were old fuddy duddies, but these old geezers took the cake. Every time she proposed a new addition or change to the plan for the mental health wing of  the hospital, they would push back. She could not strangle the council, she could not strangle the council, she could not...maybe Gaara would cover for her...no she wouldn’t. 
It had already been eight months since she came to Suna. Gaara and his siblings allowed for an easy transition. Temari was like a more scary version of Ino, but they easily bonded. Gaara was aloof, but had gotten better since his younger days. Kankuro constantly  kept saying he wanted to repay her for saving his life a few years ago, which always brought a blush to her face. Temari would tease her when she noticed. While Sakura had come to enjoy Suna, she wasn’t sure if she could see herself living there for the rest of her life, but enjoyed it nonetheless. Her heart still yearned for her home. 
“I hear there is a team from Konoha coming within the next couple of days. Do you know anything about this lord Kazakage?” 
Gaara, who was doodling in his journal, suddenly popped his head up. “ We found an import that Lady Tsunade has been looking for over the last couple of years, she must have sent a genin team to retrieve it.” Sakura had to roll her eyes at her shishou’s behavior. Could she not wait 6 more months? 
“I think we are done here. Sakura I will approve your new reports for the expansions.” Gaara all but ran out of the meeting. 
Kankuro stayed behind and helped her pack up her stuff. “You really don’t have to stay here, go home.” 
“Lets get dinner together...as friends of course.” Kankuro had puppy dog eyes that she couldn’t say no to. 
“Fine, as friends. Can we go to that bakery after?” 
They had found a simple barbeque restaurant that was busy due to the night rush. Once both of their stomachs were full, but Sakura still had room for dessert, they ventured down the streets of the village. The nights were Sakura’s type of weather, during the day the heat was stifling, but nights were her favorite. She could lay outside and gaze at the stars forever. 
Sakura soon felt three familiar chakra signatures walking down the streets. “Itachi-san, Shisui-san...Shiranui. What are you three doing here?” Genma faked a hurt look when she said his name. 
“Oh come on blossom, why do you have to say my name like that..” Genma had moved to place his arm around her. 
“You know why. Now remove your arm before I shatter every bone in it.” Quickly Genma moved away from her. 
“Sakura-san we are here on a mission for the Godaime.” Sakura had to groan. “Please tell me she didn’t send you three for the sake! I told her I would bring it back when I return, when they mentioned a team coming in the council meeting I thought it was going to be a genin team.” Her shishou really had a problem. 
Shisui looked at Sakura, no matter where she was her coloring made her stand out from the forests of Konoha to the deserts of Suna. He didn’t realize that the Kazakage’s brother and her were so close. Then there was Genma, who was a bonafide man whore. However, his cousin’s irritation was the most hilarious thing going on. He could sense the annoyance radiating off him. 
“We came here to bring the Hokage sake.” Itachi’s face was blank. They had traveled at their fastest speed to get to Suna for sake! 
“Oh Itachi-san why don’t you guys join us as we head to the local bakery. I will even buy you the first round of dango. Of course in return I want to hear more details about a certain event you are planning. Don’t look at me like that. You told Sasuke who told Naruto who wrote it in one of his letters. God knows your brother and Naruto have no ability to communicate even in writing.” 
Shisui could tell his cousin perked up at the mention of dango. As he walked into the bakery his mouth watered, their last meal was more than 20 hours ago. It was at that time he decided he would consume his weight in baked goods. After getting his dango Itachi left with Kankuro to get their rooms for the next couple of nights. Genma not wanting to be left with Sakura went with them, leaving just Shisui and Sakura. 
“I just realized you guys probably didn’t have much to eat on your way here. Do you want me to show you a takeout place to get something other than sugar?” Sakura couldn’t help but smile as she watched him down another piece of pie. She hadn’t spent much time with the man, but knew he was a genius that rivield Itachi. She also knew he didn't stay with one girl long, again Sakura found herself pushing down an unknown feeling. 
Shisui swallowed the bite of key lime pie. “But I have already had dessert?” Did the premise of protein appeal to him? Yes it did, but he just stuffed his face with sweets. 
“Oh come on. Have you never heard of dessert before dinner? Life is too short to save the best part for last.” Sakura was taking bites of her red velvet cake. Before Shisui knew it she was pulling him up and taking him to get more food. The warmth of her hand in his felt so right. His heart started to flutter. 
“How has your time been here?” He had to get his mind off of these feelings. Just an hour ago he felt himself becoming a horrible monster seeing Sakura and Kankuro together, thinking of them as a couple. 
“It's been busy. The council keeps giving me push back on some of the changes, but Gaara and his siblings have been very supportive.”Jealousy filled him. 
“Suna has been amazing, but it's so great seeing you guys here. I must say I do miss home, you being here is like you brought a piece of Konoha with you. Sorry that you came for a genin level mission.” Sakura was staring at him and he had to control himself from touching her face. Shisui had to agree with the mission being ridiculous. He placed his hands in his pockets, so he wouldn’t grab her. It was then he felt the wrappers on the tips of his fingertips. 
“It may not be a big thing, but here. I swiped these when I was last visiting Aunt Mikoto, you should have them.” Sakura looked at the candy in his hand like it was the most precious treasure. “Are those candies from the shop just outside the Uchiha district? Are you sure?” 
“It’s a small piece from home. Take them. I can get more.” It seemed like a handful of candy was all it took to become close to Sakura. He wanted to activate his Shanigan to remember her smile for the rest of his life. 
“Thank you Shisui-san. This means so much to me. My father always seemed to know when I had a bad day at the academy and would have these waiting for me when I got home.” She looked like she was about to cry and this time he didn’t stop his hand going to her face. As the clear crystals started to pool in her eyes he wiped them away. “My mother always seemed to have a stash of these as well when I was having a bad day.” 
Their moment was interrupted by Genma and Itachi. Shisui and Sakura broke apart before the two came into view. Sakura bid them goodnight. Both of them would have the most peaceful sleep in years that night. 
____________________________________________
Sakura didn’t know how she felt as she escorted Itachi, Shisui, and Genma to the gates. Well she knew she would be happy to see Genma go, but the other two she would miss. Itachi had finally settled on a method to propose and would likely be popping the question shortly after he gets back to Konoha. Shisui was a great ally in getting itachi to see reason. 
“I better get an invitation to the wedding, or else.” Sakura whispered to Itachi prior to him leaving with the team. She couldn’t help but give the socially inept genius a hug. She knew she was the only one outside of his mother and Izumi who could get away with it. Izumi and Sakura had become friends when Izumi decided to learn medical ninjustu, they bonded over their long shifts. The letters she had received from the beautiful Uchiha made her jealous at times, her heart aching for what the two had. 
Shisui had to push down that monster again as he saw Sakura and his cousin hug. Itachi looked as stiff as a tree. “Be safe you three and don’t break a single bottle or Shisou will have your head.” The last image he would have of Sakura before departing would be of her dazzling smile and waving goodbye. 
____________________________________________
5 months later….
Shisui couldn’t believe his cousin was getting married today. Itachi had stayed the night with him pretending it was part of the bachelor party, but in reality it was so he could freak out without anyone seeing. Shisui never thought he would see his cousin so flustered. He was almost happy he has never felt this way for another person. However, Shisui knew he would give anything to experience all of this. 
They were sitting on Shisui’s back porch drinking sake and eating dango. “This will happen for you one day, just have faith.” Shisui snorted. “When did you become a romantic?” 
“Don’t think I haven’t realized what all the missions you have taken over the years to other villages is for or why you go through so many women. You date them yes, but once you realize they aren’t it everything ends. I know you have cared for some of them, could almost picture a life of ease married to them, but at the end of the day you feel...incomplete. She’s out there waiting for you.” Shisui was flabbergasted by his cousin. He was starting to think he was not meant to be happy. He thought that way 7 years ago and nearly ended his life, it was Izumi who patched him up, no one knew besides her and Itachi. It was then that she went to the hospital to learn to heal. 
Pink crossed his mind. He didn’t understand the pull to Sakura Haruno. Was she beautiful? Yes. Could she keep up with him in an intelligent conversation? Yes . Was he absolutely terrified of her? Yes. None of it made sense.
 Shisui downed his glass. “Let’s get you off to bed. Don’t want you looking so ugly that Izumi runs crying tomorrow.” 
Maybe he’d ask her to dance, just maybe. 
_____________________________________
“Forehead do not ruin my masterpiece! I have spent hours on your hair and makeup.” Ino had ripped a warm sticky bun out of Sakura’s hand. “Pig I’m hungry. I didn’t get home from my shift at the hospital till 6am and then you wake me at noon to get ready for this wedding, without providing food. That ‘s just cruel. It was a 48 hour shift.” Sakura tried to extract her delicious confection out of Ino’s hand, but the blond had deposited into the garbage. Sakura wept on the inside. 
“There will be plenty of food at the reception. I’m sure the Uchiha clan is going all out on the future head getting married.” Ino was wearing a simple dark purple full length silk gown that had a narrow dip in the front revealing just a wisp of skin down to her navel.
Sakura decided to give herself one more once over. She decided on a forest green long sleeved scoop neck dress that was full length, like Ino’s dress. It was slightly form fitting and flaring out gradually. The back was a show stopper. The dress was mostly backless, her modesty was preserved with delicate black lace that showed just the right amount of her skin. Ino had done her hair in a fancy braid. She wanted to wear it up, but didn’t want to risk her mark being seen. 
“Alright the boys should be here soon.” Ino went to grab her clutch. “What boys?” Sakura hoped she meant Shikamaru and Choji. 
“Did I forget to mention that I arranged dates for the two of us. I couldn’t take waiting for Sai to make the first move, so I asked him to be my date. Then there is that cute chunin who works in the hospital. You know the one I’m talking about, he’s tall, brown hair, baby blue eyes, and those dimples when he smiles. Plus he has a crush on you.” Sakura wanted to bang her head against the wall. Shin was nice, but she wanted to enjoy the day and not worry about some guy. Before she could protest there was a knock on the door. 
“They’re here!” Sakura grabbed her purse, muttering to herself. 
_____________________________________
The wedding ceremony was beyond words, there was not a dry eye in the house (even Sasuke and Fugaku looked teary eyed). Mikoto was glowing, but not enough to outshine the bride. Izumi was a vision, no one could take their eyes off of her. Sakura found her eyes lingering on Shisui in his black tux and red shirt. 
Sakura found herself holding Shin’s hand at one part during the ceremony, she blamed her emotions. They both deserved to be happy and what a beautiful picture they made. Shin apparently thought ahead and tissue at the ready for her. She couldn’t help but rest her head on his shoulder. 
Shisui found it hard to concentrate on the ceremony. Sakura looked breathtaking, but then he saw she was with some lower ranking chunin. He almost left his position at Itachi’s side when she rested her head on the guy's shoulder. He couldn’t understand where it was all coming from. Soon Itachi and Izumi were kissing and walking down the aisle together. Shisui was looking forward to as much liquor as he could drink. 
The party was in full swing and Sakura finally got food in her stomach. The dance floor was crowded after Itachi and Izumi had their first dance. Sakura found herself being pulled onto the dance floor by Shin. She soon found herself laughing as he twirled her around, she couldn’t remember the last time she felt this free. The tempo of the music changed to a slower song and soon found herself in Shin’s arms. They swayed back and forth. As she looked into his eyes everything felt off. That suffocating feeling returned to her. 
“I’m feeling a little light headed. I think I need some air, excuse me.” Sakura had to get out of here. “Do you want me to come with?” Shin was ever the gentleman. “No, please stay and enjoy the party.” 
Sakura made her way out into the gardens. The night sky was so clear she could see all the stars, they glistened in the sky like jewels. Mikoto also made sure the gardens were in top shape and found it to be her favorite place on the Uchiha lands. In her haste to get out of that room she realized her hair was a mess. Sakura didn’t think as she undid the rest of the braid and placed it in a bun.  She could feel her head start to clear, then realized she wasn’t alone. 
She looked around the garden and noticed Shisui laying on a bench, sake bottle in hand. “Shisui what are you doing out here?” Shisui looked at her and then got up to leave. 
“Where are you going? Are you alright?” Sakura had never seen him like this. She had gotten back to the village a month ago and found herself bumping into him more frequently. At times they would sneak away to one of the small shops and have tea together, those moments were turning into her favorite memories. When she was around him things just seemed simpler. She had come to enjoy his laugh and humor, this was not him. 
“Am I alright? No I’m not. I haven't been alright since i was 7 years old, ever since then I have tried again and again, but find myself failing. My best friend is married to the love of his life and what am I thinking about? I’m thinking about every time I see you with someone else, I break a little inside. This doesn’t make sense.” Shisui couldn’t take it anymore. All he wanted to do was go to her and push her and her date apart. He wanted to hold her in his arms, he wanted to be the one to twirl her around. Right now he wanted to kiss her senseless. None of this made sense. She was his little cousin's teammate, she should be no one to him, yet here he was. 
Sakura couldn’t breath as she stared into his eyes. “I…” Sakura turned away from Shisui and ran. It was as she turned that Shisui saw the mark. He froze, only to regain his mental facilities after she dashed off. His feet came unglued and he followed. 
“Sakura wait. Come back!” Sakura didn't know what she was doing, All she knew was Shisui was right. She couldn’t explain why her heart broke when she would see him with the different women around the village. It never made sense why she would feel so pulled to him. Sakura was so focused on her thoughts she didn’t see the tree root and started to fall. She never hit the ground. 
A pair of strong arms wrapped around her and soon she was pulled into a muscular chest. He smelled like the earth and rain, she wanted to be consumed by that smell. 
“Wait...please don't run.” His voice was weak, it sounded like he was about to crack. Shisui held her tight, she was finally in his arms. Her head came to his collar bones, the perfect height so he could rest his head on hers. Mint and vanilla filled his senses, soothing him. 
“Do you know how long I have waited for you? Searched for you?” She tried to pull out of his hold, but he wouldn’t let her. “Shisui … I don’t understand.” Sakura found his hand cupping the back of her head, tracing the mark she despised so much. 
“I saw it just now. You never wear your hair up, so others wont see it.” Sakura looked up at him, but he wouldn’t let her speak. “My mark appeared when I was 7 years old. I started to give up hope of ever finding the person who I shared the mark with. You were always right there, so close, but I never found you.”  
If it wasn’t for holding onto Sakura like a lifeline Shisui was sure he would have crumbled to the ground. He was worried that she hadn’t spoken yet. His worries melted away when he felt her bone crushing hug. 
“I was born with mine. My parents...my biological parents didn’t want me because of it. I didn’t know about it till I was 5. I was filled with so much hope that there was someone out there who would love me, flaws and all.” Sakura had to pause, she could feel the tears. “It was when I got older my mother sat me down and told me fate would likely be cruel… I would likely never find the one with a matching mark. I tried so hard to find happiness in what I had, the dates always felt so wrong.” They were looking into each other’s eyes. 
“It never understood why it hurt so badly when I would see you flirt with all those women, even before we got to know each other over the last year. Then when the waitresses at the tea shops would bat their eyelashes at you and bend over extra low for you...the thoughts that I had.” 
They didn’t speak again, well Sakura tried, but found herself distracted. Shisui couldn’t wait any longer and sealed his lips to hers. His soul felt complete for the first time in his life. It was like the heavens opened up and trumpets sounded. 
“Let’s get back to the party.” Just like that Shisui led Sakura back to the reception. He would not let go of her hand the whole way. Itachi and Izumi gave each other knowing looks as the couple swayed together on the dance floor, no one else mattered to them. 
It was then that the two souls found each other. They will never be incomplete again. There were going to be challenges in the life ahead and lifes after this, but they would always have each other. Each a strong force on its own, but together they would be unstoppable. 
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mimssides · 4 years ago
Text
One Spade for five Hearts: Chapter 3
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Short heads up: The dates that are written down follow the format day.month.year. Also the months all are 30 days long and have different names.
Now have fun!
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With a sigh Logan walked up to the front door of his home and opened it. It was almost 18:30, he couldn’t dillydally any longer.
“Mother! I’m home!” Logan called and walked inside, taking his satchel off and setting it to the floor as he took off his shoes.
He heard harsh steps coming his way and looked to see his mother walking up to him with a stern look in her eyes. When Logan straightened up and, he noticed a little tremble in her look and watched her furrow her eyes.
“What on earth happened?” she asked and Logan felt his shoulders sink.
Maybe he should tell her. Maybe he should just straight out say that he had met his soulmates and get over with it. But should she know before them? And what even explain now?
“I am sorry for being late,” Logan said instead with a little waver in his voice. “I had to help Remus, who was in a predicament. It won’t happen again.”
His mother didn’t say anything for a minute. Then she stepped closer, looking at the grass and dirt stains on his shirt and looking him in the eyes with a deep frown.
“What happened Logan? Did you get hurt? Why are you so dirty?” she asked again in a tone that left no option to leave her questions unanswered.
Logan gulped and felt very small, despite being a few inches taller than his mother. Which wasn’t that unusual considering her steely gaze and the general air of authority she had about herself.
So, Logan tried to not gulp too obviously and answered: “We – I’m not hurt. No one is. I fell in the park in front of the K building. I helped kæm with some exercises we had in fencing class and we forgot the time. I should have paid more attention to the time passing. It won’t happen again, mother.”
Logan wasn’t a good liar by any means, which was mostly because he rather told the truth and had all the facts on the table just as they were instead of morphing them into something they were not. It never had made a lot of sense to him, why people insisted on lying until this very moment and he hoped that he had been convincing enough for his mother to believe him. As she continued looking at him with a frown, though, he got the impression that he had most likely failed to sound convincing enough, and mentally prepared himself to be scolded for lying to his mother.
“I hope it won’t happen again. If it happens nevertheless, please inform me as early as you notice that you will be late. Now, will you be able to do your homework for tomorrow in time?” his mother said sternly.
Logan nodded, inwardly relieved that this had somehow worked out: “Yes, I have finished everything for tomorrow. It won’t be a problem.”
“Very well.”
“May I take a shower before I join you at the table? I didn’t have the chance to-” Logan asked gingerly and his mother interrupted abruptly.
“Of course. We’ll wait for you. Just go and say hello to your father first. He was getting worried.”
“Understood,” Logan said and walked to the kitchen to greet his father.
As he stepped into the dining room, he saw him sitting at the top of the table, Avery to his left and Alessia on their left. Grey glimpsed towards him from the living room on the other side of the room and Logan felt his heart sink. His father looked over to him and his three siblings did so as well, badly masking the surprise from his unruly appearance. Naturally, he had chosen the worst day to come late. Everyone was here and now they would have to wait for him even longer.
“Good evening, father. I apologize for being late. I’ll be right back after showering,” Logan said and barely waited for his father to respond.
In a rush Logan got up to the second floor, got fresh clothes from his room and then went on to the bathroom to take his shower. He wished he could have taken a long one, one where he could just stare at the blurry tiles at the wall and musing over the sounds he had heard from the others. Maybe analyse his feelings for each one of them.
Instead, he made it quick, hastily got out of the shower, put on his clothes and went back down. He eyed the time on his watch and it had only been ten minutes. Of course, his hair was still wet, not terribly so, but at least he hadn’t made then wait much longer. With a bowed head he sat down at his usual place, on the right of his mother and thanked them all for waiting for him.
“It is alright, Logan. Now let’s eat,” him mother said and started filling all their plates with the goulash she had prepared.
They began eating and his father asked Grey how the training exam had turned out and Grey recounted how it had gone. Logan wasn’t surprised to hear that Grey had done outstandingly, even though he claimed he should have done better. Even so, Grey was a great apprentice in the protection section of the City Guard. Just like Avery was stellar doing the last year of their apprenticeship in the administrative section and Alessia was ingenious in her apprenticeship in the bookkeeping section of the City Guard.
Yes, his siblings were great at what they were doing and Logan was once more reminded of how high the standards were, he had to live up to.
“Logan?”
Logan looked up from his plate over to his father, who had called on him. With a short nod he showed that he was listening and his father continued: “Your mother said that you were helping out Remus after school. I can’t quite place him. Would you please elaborate?”
Of course not, you’re barely at home so I can’t tell you about my friends, Logan thought but didn’t say any of it.
Instead, he answered dutifully: “Kæ is a Club and due to kæs grades, kæ goes into some of the advanced classes I go to. Kæ’s in my Math course, Chemistry, PE and Fencing Training. And while kæ has still yet to beat me in a fencing match, kæ has managed to outdo me in the other classes.”
Remus was brilliant. In the most unusual way, sure, but it was intriguing and innovative. And apparently also attractive to Logan.
Logan shifted his look from his father over to Alessia, who sat vis-à-vis of him, and asked her: “You had Smith too in Math, right?”
As Alessia nodded with a curious look and Logan continued, after taking a little bite: “He scored a 100 in the last calculus exam in his class.”
“No!” Alessia exclaimed with her mouth wide open as Logan taking another spoon full of goulash. “No one ever gets a 100 in his classes. Like – How? You are lying!”
“I’m not. Kæ’s just that brilliant,” Logan answered with not a single ounce of sarcasm in his voice.
Alessia kept insisting that he was wrong until he got out his phone to and showed her a picture of the test together with Remus holding it up smugly. With that he had ended the debate easily and continued with his dinner. His father asked a few more questions about Remus, this time also using the correct pronouns, and Logan answered obediently.
He had almost finished his meal and was about to get up and put his plate and cutlery into the dishwasher, when his father asked one more question: “So, kæ has been a friend of yours for some time now, correct? I don’t recall you ever inviting kæm over. Kæ is welcome to visit.”
Logan felt his cheeks flush. The thought of Remus here in his house, making jokes and teasing Grey just because he could, was weird and – made him feel warm and excited and somehow embarrassed.
“Y-Yeah, I’ll tell him,” Logan stammered and put his cutlery into his plate before he stood up. “The goulash was delicious, mother. If you excuse me, I’ll go up and finish some homework for Friday.”
He already stood but waited for his mother to excuse him and rushed out of the room as soon as he had her allowance. Hurriedly, Logan picked up his satchel which he had forgotten to take up to his room before and went upstairs. Quietly, he got into his room and sat down on his bed, where he unpacked his homework. Bitterly, he looked at the notes he had taken form the text he had read for his and Virgil’s history project.
Their study session was supposed to be tomorrow after lunch. He could never just sit down next to Virgil while the Phu was humming next to him. There was no way that he could concentrate like that.
Logan sighed and put his head in his hands. This could not be happening to him. Maybe it was a mistake? Maybe he had misheard in the adrenaline rush from before?
Quickly he grabbed his phone and looked for the music app on his phone. He had never bothered uninstalling it, as it didn’t take much space on his memory card and didn’t clutter on his home screen. At once he saw the app symbol and opened it quickly.
And then he blanked. He didn’t know any song titles. He swallowed and tried to remember about which song Virgil had talked about yesterday at lunch. He had mentioned the title, Logan was sure of it.
Victorious.
Rapidly, Logan typed the word and a few results popped up. He looked over the covers and decided to go for a black one with a blue spot in the middle with a red car sinking into it. And then it started playing. A beat started playing and a choir of women started chanting. Logan stopped the music.
So, it wasn’t a mistake. He definitely was able to hear music now and his five friends, his only real friends, were his soulmates.
He gulped. Maybe they weren’t romantic soulmates but platonic? Yet, as far as he was aware of the family curse was specifically for romantic soulmates. Even though it has been generations since someone had fulfilled the curse, it had been said to be romantic.
And still, it didn’t make sense to Logan that he would be in lo- have romantic feelings for all of them. It couldn’t be the case, Logan thought and got up from his bed and sat down at his desk. Quickly, he started his computer and opened his note app. Quickly, he listed his friends, one after the other in order of how long he knew them from shortest to longest. And then he listed points of what he liked about them, so he could see for himself that he was in fact not romantically attracted to them.
 N Lucas Date of first meeting: 09.03.2432 – Study session with Patton ● Smart, charismatic, pragmatic ● Very eloquent way of speaking (rather enthralling) ● Able to stop Roman or Remus from doing dangerous activities ● Great discussions about history ● (endearing laugh, sounds “cute”) ● Confident in their abilities ● Doesn’t use sarcasm with me as often since they learnt that I don’t understand it well ● Immediately takes over the talking when they notice something is uncomfortable to talk ● Caring in a very weird way
 Roman Butkus Date of first meeting: 09.03.2432 – Study session with Patton (27.09.2431 – unofficial meeting when he brought Remus his backpack they had accidentally swapped at home) ● Brave, energetic, adaptive ● Incredibly creative ● Never backs away from a challenge (sometimes even to a fault) ● (Gives nice hugs) ● Strong and quick ● Strong sense of justice ● Unconventional reasoning lines ● Sees matters far more practical and thus is able to give new perspectives ● (The way he looks at N every time when he thinks they aren’t looking)
 Patton Gygax Date of first meeting: 24.02.2432 – First lunch after Remus got together with them ● Empathetic, tactful, responsible ● Optimistic outlook without dismissing real problems ● Is able to distract and support Virgil when he is spiralling into anxiety ● Great at magical theory and philosophy ● (They make Remus very happy) ● (How they explain their puns to people when they don’t laugh at them) ● Quick learner ● How they try to cheer everyone up
 Remus Butkus Date of first meeting: 02.01.2431 – First fencing lesson with Remus ● Brilliant, bold, unyielding ● A little crazy ● Curious about everything and unafraid to talk about taboo topics ● Likes murder mysteries ● Fencing with kæm is always a challenge and fun ● Always explains the jokes to me I don’t get ● Has never been condescending to anyone ● (Attractive back) ● Strong ● Surprisingly gentle when is with Patton ● Very caring of kæs twin
 Virgil Caron Date of first meeting: 03.01.2421 – First day of kindergarten ● Best friend ● Witty, snarky, night owl, grouchy in the mornings ● Quick ● Bobs his head when he listens to music ● Knows everything about me (sometimes annoying) ● (Knows how to console me best) ● The way he dresses now and how happy it makes him ● Was wary of our new friend because he was afraid, they were only hanging around us because they wanted to use me in a way (which was irrational) ● His birthday gifts ● Always tries to explain music to me ● Always stands behind me (figuratively and literally) ● Feels like home
Logan stopped typing. He didn’t need to reread what he had written down. Just thinking about the last point, he had jotted down, made him realize that had been in love with Virgil for a solid decade.
He felt like he had been slapped in the face. His chest hurt and his eyes burnt. They were all so dear to him and he didn’t know what to do. It had never been in his plans that his curse would be activated. That he would have to deal with all those feelings and the difficulties that committed relationships could bring with them.
Did he even want to be in a committed relationship? He didn’t have to. A soulmate curse didn’t require for him to be with his soulmates. He could let them know and not be in a relationship with them.
That thought somehow made Logan’s stomach turn even more.
A single knock on the door made him jump in his seat. Frantically, he looked up towards the door and said: “Yeah?”
“Can I come in for a sec, Starfish?”
Logan sighed at the nickname but told Avery: “Sure.”
With that Avery came inside, as Logan minimalized the note app on his screen. They didn’t need to see that. Quietly, Avery closed the door behind them and walked towards the bed where they sat down. Logan turned himself around in his swivel chair and looked towards his oldest sibling with a weird knot in his tummy.
“So,” Avery said and gave him this look that said I-just-want-the-best-for-you and Logan had to supress a groan, “Starfish, tonight’s dinner was a little tense, wasn’t it?”
“You can just say that you think I behaved weird, you know,” Logan pouted and crossed his arms in front of his chest.
Avery sighed and gave him a come-on look.
“That is not what I would have said, but I got the impression that something was bothering you. Is it about father? I know you would like him to be home more-”
“It’s fine! He’s the head of the City Guard. He has responsibilities outside of the family and I understand that that is time consuming. I’m not a child anymore.”
That was always a good thing to say to make him look more mature; interrupting those who were speaking and insisting that he was not a child. A great move Logan, really.
“No, you’re not,” Avery agreed softly and Logan gave them a guilty look. “And I am sure you understand. You are smart after all. But I want you to know that it is okay if you miss him sometimes. It’s okay.”
Logan nodded slightly rolled back and forth on the chair. Avery remained sitting still on the bed and watched him closely for a few more moments.
“Aaand if you’re worried about Remus, I’m always there for advice,” they said and wiggled their eyebrows suggestively.
That was quite enough for Logan and he jumped up from his chair and decidedly pointed towards the door demanding: “Leave. Now.”
Avery snickered and got up from his bed. At least they when it was enough teasing, Logan thought to himself and watched as they closed the door and left him on his own. Tensely, he turned back to his computer and opened the list again. For a few minutes he looked over it and then decided that he couldn’t change anything tonight. He was emotionally compromised as much as he hated to admit it and would deal with it tomorrow.
So, he closed the list and looked over the homework he had. For an hour he managed to distract himself with his work and then got ready for bed. He also answered to a text from Virgil, reassuring his panicked friend that he was alright and that his mother hadn’t been too upset with him for being late for dinner.
And so, Logan went to bed. He hoped to get some sleep and being able to clear all of this up in the morning.
He did not expect his dreams to be about his friends. About Roman holding his hand, Patton kissing his cheek. N smiling at him as they smiled at Roman. Roman complimenting his fighting style. Virgil just holding him.
The rushing beat of his heart woke him up and at five in the morning Logan got up to write a plan on how to avoid the others for the next few days, so he could get himself under control.
That would surely work out well.
___
@varthandi
@sammy-is-obsessed / @exhaustedfander
@alexisrealgay
@softie-sushi
@wolfs-feder
@just-a-neoclassical-painting
@winter-jay-official
@a-ghostlight-for-roman
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icedthoma · 5 years ago
Note
Out of spite with Todoroki, please. Congratulations on being here for a whole year! Hopefully you will be here for many more!
6. Out of spite
Pro hero AU! 
Thank you so much lovely anon!! Hope you enjoy! (Also a big thank u to @katsukiscaramel for all ur help)
You were pretty sure you were the only person in this entire agency that hated Todoroki Shouto. 
Well, hate might be too harsh. You didn’t love him, that was for sure. A graduate from the prestigious UA high (who got in on recommendation), a powerful quirk and connections to the hero world, his future had always looked bright. Meanwhile you were over here having tragically failed the entrance exam at UA, having to go to a hero study course at a lesser known academy instead. 
Well, you were thankful for all the hard work you had put in over your high school years that helped you become the hero you were today. It just seriously pissed you off how some people had everything laid at their feet from a young age solely because of their renowned last name. And to you, Pro Hero Shouto was one of them. 
Which was why you felt absolutely no guilt whatsoever working at his agency just because of the good reputation it would give you. If he could use his father’s last name to get him into UA, why couldn’t you use his hero name to add to your resume? You honestly needed all the help you could get. 
It wasn’t uncommon for you to watch several of your coworkers develop a hopeless crush on Todoroki, only to get crushed themselves as they came to the eventual realization that they absolutely had no chance. It also didn’t help that he was painfully blunt with his words, yet frustratingly oblivious at the same time. Todoroki Shouto unknowingly left a trail of broken hearts in his wake wherever he went, and you were definitely not going to be one of them. 
“Y/n.”
Shouto’s voice called out to you from where you had just passed his office, back at the agency for a short break before you resumed patrols, and you instinctively groaned. Plastering a smile on your face, you backtracked and stuck your head into his room. “Yes?”
“Come in, please.”
Wondering briefly if you were about to get fired, you edged in and stood with your hands behind your back, looking anywhere but the hero sitting at his desk. “Did I do something wrong, sir?”
“No,” Todoroki said quietly, and you were uncomfortably aware of his gaze on you from the corner of your eye. What could he possibly want with you? 
The silence stretched on for an uncomfortable minute before he sighed and grabbed a stack of papers, straightening them despite the fact that they were already neatly together. “The--the coffee machine is empty.”
“W-what? Do you want me to refill it?” you asked. You couldn’t believe your ears. He called you in here to refill the stupid coffee machine? 
“Yes.” You couldn’t see his expression because of the papers he was holding. At least you were spared the view of his smug face that had succeeded in wasting your time. 
“Yes, sir.” Biting down the rising retort on the tip of your tongue, you quickly dashed out of the room before he could say anything else, and so he couldn’t see your fuming face. Who did he think he was? You were just as much of a hero as he was, not his personal assistant. 
“Hey, Y/n!” 
“Save it. I’m not in the mood right now,” you spat out, walking right past your fellow coworker on your way to the break room. 
“Woah, cool down. Aren’t you supposed to be out on patrols right now?”
“Yeah, before someone called me into their office and had me stand there for a whole minute just to tell me to refill the coffee machine.” You let out a noise of frustration, hands tightening into fists at your sides. “I honestly don’t get what you see in him.”
“Not this again,” your friend groaned, rushing forward to keep up with your brisk walking speed. “I swear you have some personal vendetta against him or something. Is that why you decided to apply here? Keep your friends close and your enemies closer--”
“I am not,” you protested, refilling the machine like the dutiful sidekick you were. “Do you actually need something from me?” 
“Oh, right!” she exclaimed. “I almost forgot. I was asked to tell you that you were requested to be at a mission briefing after you got back from patrols. Which was why I was surprised to run into you!” 
“What? By who?”
“Who else? Todoroki, of course.” 
------------
This day could not get any worse. 
Folding your arms even tighter against your chest, you forced yourself to focus on the folder in front of you and not on the red and white-haired man across the table. You and Shouto were to go undercover at a large party happening in a few days to apprehend a villain involved in several illegal drug deals--or something along those lines. 
Awkward silences always seemed to follow you and Todoroki around, and this time was no exception. “I...look forward to working with you,” he offered after a moment, holding his hand out. 
You may not like him, but that didn’t mean you were going to be rude. Plastering a smile on your face, you reached out and shook his hand firmly. “Likewise.”
Sidekicks usually patrolled around the city or were backup when necessary. So why were you the one chosen to go on a mission of this type with him? 
Probably because fate hated you.
In a few days, you and Todoroki were headed over to the party, dressed somewhat formally and masks in hand to match the theme. You had to admit Shouto did look rather dashing in his white suit that complimented his eyes well. Next to him, you felt like a boring mud puddle. 
“Do you see him anywhere?” he asked quietly from where the two of you were seated at the bar. His eyes seemed to shine from within the mask he was wearing, dual colors of blue and brown glittering at you. 
You shook your head. “No.”
“Well, in that case...” Shouto took a sip of the water glass he was holding. “Let’s talk.”
Raising an eyebrow, you mirrored his actions and drank from your own glass, looking at him from over the rim. “About what?”
He shrugged, one hand supporting his chin and the other lazily spinning his drink around. “Anything.”
“I really do think we should be focusing on the mission,” you said, ignoring the prickly feeling settling upon you to do another quick once-over around the slightly crowded venue. You couldn’t believe him. Why was he wasting time trying to make small talk? 
“Well, we came early,” Todoroki pointed out. “It’s likely he won’t be here for a while. So...why don’t you tell me more about yourself? While we wait.”
If you didn’t know any better, you would have thought the two of you were on a date from the way he was acting. “Um, okay. I’m Y/n L/n, and I’ve been working as your sidekick for a year and a half.”
He laughed at that, a quiet chuckle that he tried to muffle with his hand over his mouth. “I know all that already. What about what got you into wanting to be a hero?”
Sighing, you went along with his antics. "I wanted to make my mark in the world of heroism. Everyone told me it would be hard since I couldn’t get into all the fancy schools like UA, but I’m going to prove them wrong.” 
 “You applied to UA?” You could hear the surprise in his voice. 
"Yep, though I failed the entrance exam. But you went there, right? What was it like?”
“Well, I had to meet very high expectations because of my father’s legacy,” he sighed, forming a small cube of ice within his fingers to plop into his water. “I always felt like I wasn’t doing enough.”
“But you’re practically perfect--” you blurted out before you could stop yourself, instantly slamming a hand over your mouth afterward. “Crap--that was out of line, I--”
“You...you think I’m perfect?” Todoroki repeated, and you really couldn’t tell whether he thought that was a good thing or a bad thing. You also weren’t sure which you would have preferred. 
“Well, yeah. You have a strong quirk, graduated from the UA to start your own agency only a few years after, and you’re popular with the ladies. You’re on your way to a shining career in herosim.”
“Did you really have to mention that last bit?” 
“I mean, it’s true. I can think of five people who’ve had a crush on you in the past month.” You couldn’t stop your tone from going a little flat at the end, mostly because the fact so many people wanted him romantically was the bane of your existence. Why was he acting embarrassed about it, anyway? As far as you knew, getting people’s hopes up was his hobby. “We’ve been sitting here for too long,” you murmured, grabbing his hand to tug him to his feet. “Let’s dance.”
He allowed you to pull him to the center of the dance floor, lacing his fingers with yours and letting his other hand rest on your waist before you even had to ask. In between glancing around the room for the villain you were after, you cast multiple side glances at the side of Shouto’s face. Calm and collected as usual. 
Todoroki Shouto had the life you could only dream of. Regardless of your every struggle to claw your way up in hero society, you knew you would never attain his level. You were destined to be nothing more than a sidekick who could be ordered around at a higher ranking hero’s whim. You still hadn’t forgotten how he had made you stand in his office for a whole minute in silence before sending you off to refill the coffee machine, of all things.
It wasn’t fair, and you hated it.
“Todoroki.”
“Hmm?” You almost went cross-eyed at how close he had ended up being after turning his head your way. His nose was barely brushing the tip of yours, his every exhale like a ghost whispering across the surface of your skin despite the mask you were wearing. “Did you spot...him?”
Without thinking, you closed your eyes and leaned in, raising your mouth to his before the rational part of your mind caught up with you. His lips were soft and fit perfectly against yours (though, to be honest, anyone would probably say that if they were kissing the Todoroki Shouto). You didn’t expect him to reciprocate the kiss, however, his lips opening slightly for a moment only to press harder against you a second later. The crowd was your ally, no one bothering to look upon the two of you when there were many more masked figures around you doing the same thing. 
You broke away, only noticing now how his grip on you had tightened ever since you had initiated the kiss. Your face was burning with shame, and you couldn’t believe that you had kissed him in the middle of your frustrations, in the middle of a mission. In a complete contrast to what you were feeling at the moment, Todoroki was actually smiling. His mask was slightly askew and his face was beet red, but he was giving you the biggest grin you had ever seen from him despite the terrible mistake you had just made. 
“Wow,” he breathed, the hand on your waist flying up to run through his hair. “I never thought...you felt the same way I did.”
What? 
Shouto was rambling now, voice uncharacteristically brighter and not letting you get a word in edge-wise. You listened with growing horror as he told you briefly about his past, and how his friends at UA helped him work through his trauma to become a better person and believe in relying on others. “I love how you’re so hard working and determined to pursue what you’re passionate about,” he said earnestly. “I feel like we have that in common, because we’re so different from what everyone else says we are, or what we should be. I tried to find reasons to talk to you more often, but I only ended up making things weird, like--”
“The coffee machine,” you finished vaguely. 
“Yeah,” he said, giving your hand (that had been encased in his this whole time) a gentle squeeze. “I apologize if I’m talking too much, I’m just so...”
You had been horribly misinterpreting this situation the whole time. It all made sense now. From the awkward way the two of you always interacted to why you of all people were requested to go on a mission like this...
How could you have judged him upon first glance, without even knowing his full story? You saw his family fame and strength and automatically assumed he had no problems in life whatsoever. The scar on his face was a sign of the pain he had faced in his past and overcome. How could you let your jealousy over something you couldn’t control overwhelm you to the point that you had kissed him out of pure spite? 
He didn’t deserve to be lied to. Out of all the people he could have chosen to crush on, he chose you (a horrible decision, really). You had to tell him the truth. 
“Todoroki,” you began hesitantly, already dreading the conversation to come. “Listen, I--”
“Wait,” Shouto hissed, pressing a finger over your mouth to gesture at a spot behind you. “He’s here. On your left. Are you ready?”
It was unnerving how quickly he slipped from looking like he was on cloud nine to focused on the mission, and it only made you more uneasy. Not trusting your voice at that moment, all you could do was nod, and he gave you another of those rare smiles you never saw offered to anyone else. 
“Oh, and you can call me Shouto.” 
------------
Apprehending the villain was child’s play while working with pro hero Shouto. You had to admit you were slightly distracted the whole time at the fact that he had allowed you to be on first name basis with him literally seconds before. 
But in no time at all the villain was being carted away by the police and you were standing in front of Todoroki once again in the middle of the road, his face illuminated by the bright lights of the city at nighttime. “Good work today, hero,” he said, taking off his mask to put it in his pocket, and you winced. After you told him the truth, would he still think the same way about you? 
"I’m sorry,” you said, voice shaking despite your best efforts. 
“What? What for?”
You explained everything to him. How you hated him in the beginning, purely because he had (or seemed to have) the life you wished you had out of your own self-interest. How you had judged him without even getting to properly know him first outside the rumors. 
You could see the light in his eyes visibly fade the longer you kept talking. “Why did you kiss me, then?” he asked, voice pleading at the end like he was still trying to hold on to any hope that things between the two of you were going to turn out okay. “You wouldn’t have kissed me if you didn’t return my affections, right?”
“I kissed you out of spite,” you whispered. “It didn’t mean anything.” 
He scoffed, turning away so all you could see of him was his back. “To you.” 
As he began to walk away, you saw that he had taken the mask from the party out of his suit pocket. There was a small thud as he  let it fall from his fingers onto the concrete sidewalk, continuing down the road and leaving you on the sidewalk with nothing but your own regret to keep you company. 
------------
one year event masterlist
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minsimagines · 5 years ago
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lead me home | werewolf!v
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    summary: taehyung is a werewolf, and y/n knows wolves don’t belong in big cities.
   a/n: i had this laying in a folder on my comuter and thought i’d share, then i read through it and cried so here you go, lmao.
  words: 5k.
  WARNING: super angst. like, super super angst. you might cry, you’ve been warned. heartbreak. mentions of nudity, mention of sex, a bit of blood.
★ ⋆ ✰ ✦ ☾ ✮ ⁎ ★ ⋆ ✰ ☾ ⁎ ✦ ✮ ⁎ ☾ ★ ⋆ ✰
   You’d often find Taehyung by the window of your little apartment when you came home on the evenings, staring out at the city view, eyes glued to the mountains in the far distance. He’d brush it off as enjoying the scenery, that wonderful broad smile spreading over his lips almost distracting you, though you were left with a constant uneasy feeling in your chest.
   The insane amount of homework added with the part time job you had at a small 24/7 shop would often occupy your mind, and though you felt awful, it had to be done. You couldn’t live if you didn’t work, and you would be stuck at the little shop for the rest of your life unless you finished your studies. Though it felt like a hundred years away, there were three more years.
   Every day seemed to pass in a blur, everything melting together. The touch of his rough hands on your soft skin, his tight embraces and encouraging words, the sleepless nights, the late hours at the shop, the failed exams – you were about to go nuts. And it didn’t help that you felt so bad for leaving Taehyung by himself most of the day, and the feeling you had of stress from having to make time for him and your relationship as well.
   He’d always pull you away from your studying to help you focus – to give you a break. Just a couple of minutes, but he would help you breathe and calm down and whenever he did, you’d feel so calm, like you were unstoppable. He was amazing at helping you relax. Especially when you were too stressed to function and you didn’t remember to eat or sleep, and you hunched over your notes crying.
   “This is okay,” he’d whisper. “You’re strong and you’ll be fine, and you will do great even if the test didn’t go as planned.”
   His kind hadn’t been one to speak to show love, or any other emotion for that sake, and though he knew you needed verbal communication as well, he could always just look at you, and you’d know. He understood. He always understood.
   You’d watch Taehyung, as his mind drifted off, as he daydreamt of grass beneath his paws, of the smell of animals and flowers. You’d brush your fingers through his hair to calm him down after he jumped out of bed in the middle of the night, not understanding where he was. You’d crawl down from the bed when you awoke and found him asleep on the floor, and you’d sleep next against his body – the bed was too soft for him. You’d distract him when his skin and muscles were itching and yearning for a release and change you couldn’t even begin to fathom the pleasure of.    
   You’d drive him out into the countryside every full moon. To the top of the same hill, the open plains spreading out wide, ending in the forest off in the distance. That was where he went every time. You’d watch his grey fur as he ran through the tall, beige grass, his shape growing smaller and smaller until he was out of sight. There, he did what the animal in him needed to do – whatever that was.
   He never spoke about it and you didn’t ask. He may have been hunting, he may have been meeting some of his own kind – you had a feeling you’d never know. And had you not had this unease in your chest, you might have asked him, but you wanted him to be free for those few hours. Free of the city, free of hiding, free of… free of you.
   You knew, from the first time you’d seen his yellow eyes in between the trees as you visited your grandfather up on the mountains as a child, that you loved him. Maybe not in the way you did later on, but when you saw him for the first time, though foolish – you were not scared. You could not for the life of you figure out why; you had always had massive respect for wolves and other predators, yet his eyes had captured something inside you. He was only a puppy.
   Your grandfather told you that though he was a puppy, he was a wild predator and predators followed instincts. He’d warned you about the wolf, though you had seen him leave left over after dinner outside when he thought you weren’t paying attention.
   The young wolf had showed up outside of the cabin three evenings in a row, and on the fourth evening of your stay, as your grandpa had fallen asleep on the couch watching TV, you’d sat out on the bench in front of the house, watching the view of the valley below the cabin, short legs dangling. The river, the hills, the trees. The wolf had sat a bit behind you, watching the view with you. You’d noticed him, but you didn’t’ move. Didn’t say a word. You didn’t see him, though you heard him come. You knew he was there. When you turned, after the sun had set, he was gone.
   Whenever your grandfather was busy, or if he drove into town to buy groceries, you’d run outside in your rubber boots and you’d sit patiently in the grass, legs crossed, doll in hand. You’d let him approach you, and you’d let him nudge your knee with his snout. You’d throw your doll and he’d catch it and bring it back.
   You’d loved how free he was. How he ran around wherever he wanted. How he would chase birds and jump into puddles.
   You had seen the wolf again when you were an awkward teenager. He had even sat outside your room in the cabin a whole night, and you had sat in the deep windowsill, watching him, though you weren’t as adventurous as you had been as a child. You were more scared. It was a wild wolf, and you had no intentions of ending up as dinner.
   He’d saved you from being trampled by a frightened elk as you were taking a walk, trying to get reception on your phone. He’d ran in and shoved the elk out of the way with the side of his huge body, and though you had frozen in fear of the sight, his gaze clashed with yours as the elk ran off, and he had understood. He didn’t approach. He slowly backed away and disappeared between the trees once again.  ⋆
   “Are you hungry?” You asked Taehyung, who turned away from the view of the city and hit you with a dashing smile.
   “Always,” he muttered, striding over to you in the kitchen half of the small apartment. Hands wrapped around your waist, drawing a smile and a small chuckle from your lips at his words.
   “It’s the full moon tomorrow,” you said, trying to sound chirpy, yet the sour feeling in your chest was heavier than ever. He had spent more time by the window, more time touching you than he ever had, more time praising you, loving you and though you loved him to bits, it was making you dread your plan for the approaching full moon. This was your life. Not his.
   “I know,” he said, pressing a soft kiss to your neck before he left you to make dinner. You always cooked – not because he didn’t want to help, but you liked it. Your mother had loved to make food, and making dinner made you feel somewhat closer to her, even if she wasn’t around anymore.
   “The neighbors are fighting,” he noted from the couch, eyes glued to the television. You were about to answer when you noticed he was watching a documentary about animals. An aching spread through your chest as you were once again reminded of how little he belonged in your world, and how much he probably missed his own.
   “Yeah?” You uttered, trying to sound like you normally did. His eyes had met yours in question, clearly picking up on the different tone. You’d cleared your throat and sent him a broad smile. It seemed to fool him as he smiled back to you and turned his attention to the TV again.
   “Yeah. She won’t have sex with him,” he said, and your eyes snapped towards him in surprise. Even after 7 months, you were still surprised at how straight forwards he was. Also, how keen his hearing was. And his other senses.
   “That’s… something,” you mumbled.
   “Hey, you know that uhm, those things you gave me yesterday? What are they called?” He asked, eyes peering over at you in curiosity. You glanced at him, though it hurt to do so.
   “The grapes?” You asked, turning your attention back to the food.
   “Yes, grapes,” he chuckled as he laid down, long legs kicking out on the couch. The sight, compared to him in the fields, had you looking away again.
   You’d driven to your grandfather’s cabin after he, together with your mother and father, had passed away in a car accident. It had been over a year since it happened, and you had finally gathered the courage and strength to take two weeks off to go up there to pack up the cabin and prepare it for new owners.
   You had forgotten about your childhood friend, though it all came back to you as you found those yellow eyes watching you from the shadows of the trees once again. He was still there, even bigger than you remembered; he’d grown massive, almost concealed by the darkness, though you could see his shape.
   Like when you were young, he would show up on the evenings, like a giant guard dog, watching over the house. You’d put out something for him to eat one night and had been happy to find the bowl empty the next day.
   You’d only found out about his human half when the wolf, that evening, came limping and bloody onto the property. You walked out to meet him in horror at his state, when his body had contorted, twisted in on itself. You were certain you could never forget the sight. On the ground before your feet laid a man, skin dirty and hair messy.
   His body had been almost torn apart with wounds as you, though scared, crouched besides him and gently brushed his brown bangs out of his eyes. They cracked open and looked at you in tired desperation, that same yellow still lingering in his human irises, though blended with a soft brown shade. His wounds were shaped like bitemarks and deep scratches.
   It took a while, but he managed to stumble into the cabin with your help, and you did the best you could with the little you had. You hadn’t brought any form of first aid up onto the mountain. You’d helped him into a pair of your grandfather’s old pair of pajama pants and onto the couch.
   You stayed awake by his side that night, brushing sweat away from his forehead and upper body with a cold cloth. He slipped in and out of consciousness, and each time he had tried to sit up in panic until his eyes met yours and he relaxed back down.
   He was gone when you woke up. Bright sunlight hitting your face, body resting against the couch. You’d gone outside right away, eyes darting around the field in front of you and down into the valley. On the bench laid your grandfather’s pants, neatly folded.
   “By the way, how did the test go today?” He muttered against your shoulder as he joined you in bed, his inhuman warmth engulfing your tired body.
   “I think it went better than the last one,” you whispered, turning to face him. His eyes glowed in the dark of the room, and you were spellbound.
   “You’re really beautiful,” you said, and though it was dark, you could make out the bright smile on his face.
    “Do you miss the mountain?” You asked. The words slipped out before you could stop yourself and you dreaded the answer. He was horrible at hiding his emotions, though he didn’t know he was, so when he lied; you knew – but he didn’t know you knew.
   “Sometimes,” he’d say, his eyes growing sad, though the smile was still there. “But I like being with you more.”
   You knew he meant what he had said, he would have never left with you unless he did. He wanted to be with you, and you knew that – but he had an instinct in him that would forever be stronger than anything a human could ever understand. He was a wolf, a wild predator, he wasn’t a dog meant to be kept in an apartment and let out every now and then – he was a magical creature. He wasn’t meant to be tame like this.
   “You can tell me if you do, you know,” you whispered, wanting him both to admit it and to lie to spare you from the pain. Both would hurt equally. “It was your home, after all.”
   “I…” he hesitated. You knew he did. It was a silly question. It was his home, of course he missed it!
   “I miss it,” he admitted. and you felt something, almost a relief washing over you. You had been right.
   “I want you to be happy,” he added, his voice tired, and you didn’t answer him. Your fingers running steadily through his hair.
   He fell asleep before you did, and your smile had long vanished. He was kicking his foot every now and then, and you knew he was dreaming of the grass.  ⋆
   He had come back that evening, as the sun was setting over the valley and you were crouched by a flowerbed by the wall of the cabin, picking at the weeds. You’d almost thrown your little shovel in the air in surprise at his appearance, though as you stood and looked at him, you couldn’t believe it was the same man that had been inside your cabin that whole night. His body was completely fine. Though red where the worst of gashes had been, he seemed to have healed and was left with only scars to tell the tale.
   “Hello,” you’d said, trying to sound confident.
   “Hello,” he’d replied, and you’d frowned at the state of his voice. It was deep and raspy, scratching at his throat as he spoke. He hadn’t spoken in a long time. You had wanted to ask what had attacked him, but you didn’t.
   You’d sat outside on the bench each evening, and he’d show up to accompany you. Some nights you’d talk, others you’d just sit and enjoy the view and sounds. You grew unbearably close. You’d known your departure was coming up in a few days’ time, but you’d also felt a pull towards him that you couldn’t understand.
   He’d told you he thought his name was Taehyung, though he wasn’t sure anymore, he hadn’t used a name since he was young. You’d smiled and said you loved it. The smile on his lips, after hearing your words, had almost knocked you out of your mind.
   He’d told you stories about where he was from, what he was. Stories that, had you not known better, you’d think were from another world. Magic and wonder, though you always had a feeling he was holding back. You never pushed him. He told you wonderful stories about soulmates and how every werewolf had one, and fairies who were not as friendly as our stories had them.
   His sweet nature, his goofy smile, his curiosity about anything you told him about, was drawing you closer and closer to him and you could listen to his deep voice day in and day out. He was straight forward, asking about you and why you were there, not really seeming to grasp the idea of the sadness of your family’s death, other than the fact that he had liked your old grandpa when he had been alive and that he missed the left overs he’d set out for him before he died.
   You had felt so lost when you realized you were falling in love with him, though you weren’t afraid; you knew your feelings were mutual. He wasn’t… shy.
   His animalistic approach to romantic gestures had caught you off guard. Not used to the norms of socialized humans, he leant into your neck one night, arms wrapping tightly around your body. Had you not felt like you were utterly safe in his hands, you might have pushed him off.
   You didn’t.
   He had asked you if it was alright, a whisper in your ear, and you had barely managed to nod your head in the trance you were in. He’d later told you he knew you wanted him to touch you. Said he could smell it on you. He could smell your desire.
   Sharp teeth had gently graced the skin on your throat, sending ripples of shivers through your body, which he seemed to enjoy very much. He had inhaled deeply, taking in your scent and was about to – had you not stopped him – rip your clothes to shreds. You’d pulled his face towards yours, your lips gently pressing against his. He had, at first, not understood what you were doing, though with a little guidance, he had come around.
   When you’d woken up the next morning, sky light blue in the sunrise, body nude and spent, though as happy as you’d ever been; he was gone again. Your heart had dropped to the bottom of your stomach as you’d stumbled into a pair of sweats and thrown a t-shirt over your head as you’d ran downstairs, tears welling on your eyes, only to see him outside on the bench. Running outside, you’d stood panting in distress, staring at him with desperate eyes.
   As if knowing exactly what you were feeling, he gave you a soft smile as he stood up. He was wearing your grandfather’s pajama pants, and though they fit him, you grew confused. He hadn’t wanted to wear clothes the whole week you’d known him as a human.
   “It’s today,” he had said, and you’d swallowed thickly, knowing exactly what he was referring to. The weeks, though it had felt like a decade, had ended.
  ⋆
   His sweet laugh had rung through the apartment as you entered the living room on midday, ready to leave for the countryside. It was the night of the full moon.
   His laugh was contagious, and he never laughed at the right times, though it made your heart soar with joy. He didn’t get jokes or puns, though he loved slapstick comedy. That, he understood. He understood anything physical.
    He wasn’t made for the city.
   “What are you watching?” You asked, leaning against the couch, trying to distract yourself from the heartbreaking thoughts running through your mind.
   “I don’t know,” he’d laughed, shaking his shoulders. You’d almost burst into tears, the pain in your chest making it hard to breathe properly, though you had to try; he would hear something was wrong if you weren’t breathing normally.
   Your wonderful protector. Your loving, beautiful Taehyung. Your magical and caring lover. You bit the inside of your cheeks, avoiding his eyes as you got ready to leave.
   You drove him through the massive city, through the crowded streets and the jungle of concrete and tall buildings. The ride was quiet. But not just the usual quiet; you could often spend hours in silence and not feel out of place. This silence was heavy. As if there were words that needed to be said between the two of you, clear as day, yet none of you dared to speak them out loud. Out through the suburbs and far into the quiet countryside, further than you’d ever driven before, you parked the car off road, and you stood by him on a hill by open plains and fields of tall grass as his eyes closed, head tilted back to smell the air.
   This was his life. Not yours. ⋆
   Once you had come over the initial shock of him not having left you, you’d nodded your head and whispered that yes, that day would be the last day in the cabin. You’d be leaving for the city again, and the cabin would be sold to someone else who wanted to take care of it.
   He’d begged you to stay. He’d begged you to be with him and let him protect you. His deep voice had brought fresh tears to your eyes, his vows and promises of hunting for you and helping you in any way he could, whatever he could do to make you stay there with him.
   You’d told him that you couldn’t. You had only those two weeks off, and you told him that it hurt just as much for you, but you couldn’t give up your life in the city. Your parents had paid for your university before they had passed away, and you couldn’t just drop out and leave the apartment behind. It would crush your heart to give up the closest thing you still had to them, the things they left behind, even if your feelings for Taehyung felt like something from another world.
   And he had hugged you so tight as you’d burst into tears, sobbing, torn in half. You’d found love, or what could become love, and you didn’t belong together. Taehyung, though a bit held back, convinced you to believe in it. He’d stroked your hair and reassured you, saying you were meant to be, but you had heard the hesitation in his voice even back then. You had refused to acknowledge it.
   “I promise I’ll come back and see you,” you’d uttered in a breath, on your knees outside your cabin. He was next to you, holding you. You’d pushed away to look up at him with tear stained eyes, knowing full well you weren’t going to be able to come back in a long time.
   “I’ll come with you,” he had muttered then, after a long pause. Your face had dropped in confusion. He would come with you? But he had nothing to go to, nothing he knew, nothing to do.
   “What?” You’d whispered, your tears halting.
   “I’ll come with you,” he repeated, sounding more certain the second time around.
   You had told him no. He was wild, he was of the forest and the grass and the wilderness, he wasn’t made to live in the city, and you had told him no. As much as you’d loved the idea of being with him, he was meant to be out in the wild.  
   Your words had only seemed to fuel him further. He wanted to go. He would go, he said. He would be with you. He wanted to be with you. He wanted to touch you and smell you and listen to your wonderful voice.
   After much debate, you’d made it clear to him that you did want the same thing, you just didn’t think he had really wanted to leave. You wanted to be with him more than anything.
   So, he came with you. He put on a sweater, and he helped you pack the car. You’d watched him with careful eyes. His strong body, covered by the clothes… you weren’t a pervert, but it just wasn’t right. It wasn’t him – he wasn’t human like you. You swallowed and bit it back, sending him a smile when he looked at you.
   He’d showered before you left, and you’d almost sent him out into the fields to roll around. You missed the patches of dirt on his cheeks and the wild waves of his messy brow hair, but you bit it back. He was still the same person. He was the wonderful, magical person you were falling in love with. And you convinced yourself it was the right thing to take him with you.
   It wasn’t that hard to incorporate him in the life of the city. He was curious by nature, and everything was entertaining. He loved all the flashing lights, all the sounds and the smells and all the strange people wearing strange clothes. He adapted fast, and he seemed to like it – and though you knew it wasn’t his life, you convinced yourself it could be. ⋆
   You stepped away from the car, your eyes wandering over the fields. This was it. This was the place. It was breathtaking, and it was closer to your grandfather’s cabin; he could find his way home from where you were standing. Turning to look at him, he was watching you with an expression you hadn’t seen before, though it made you feel warm and safe and you knew you had made the right decision.
   You stepped towards him, like you usually did before he changed, and you hugged him, wrapping your arms around his torso, pressing your palms against his upper back, squeezing your eyes shut. You breathed in deeply as he wrapped his arms around you, and ran his fingers through your hair, placing a soft kiss to your forehead.
   You stepped back and cupped his cheek with your hand. His eyes were soft. Understanding. He knew. It almost set you back, noticing the familiar gaze. He had known the whole time.
   He pulled his sweater over his head, folding it neatly in his hands, before he handed it to you. He did the same with his pants, and you held them to your chest. He never wore shoes.
   As his bones began to crack under the light of the full moon, you looked away as his beautiful face morphed to that of an equally breathtaking predator. The piercing eyes, the sharp claws and teeth; he could tear you apart in an instant, yet he never touched a hair on your body with anything but loving hands.  
   As the cracking receded, you turned to look at him with an aching chest. You didn’t need him to speak to know what his eyes were asking you. His big, yellow, loving orbs boring into yours, glowing in the dark. Your bottom lip quivered, and you bit down on it to conceal your emotions. With a small nod of your head, you curled your arms around the clothes tighter, telling him it was okay. Telling him to go. To be free.
   He gave you a deep nod of his big head, staring at you for a couple second longer, before he turned to run off. You watched him as he ran, his strong legs pushing away underneath him, his big form disappearing over the plains faster than any animal you had ever seen. Beautiful fur bouncing as he ran, glistening in the moon light. A shaky breath left your lips as your knees shivered under your weight, tears welling in your eyes, your heart breaking.
   You watched him run, and his bright smile flashed in your mind. His laugh, his touch, the wonder in his eyes as he spoke about the world, the wild and the freedom he was from. Where he belonged. Where he could live with his own kind. The way his fingers had desperately tried to braid your hair, the way his body pressed against yours when he was uncertain of the life in the city, the way his lips would leave your skin burning and tingling in pleasure, the way he never backed down from a challenge. He was free again now.
   You knew he understood. He always had. He knew this would happen as well, you were sure of it, though it didn’t make it easier. He knew you loved him, and he knew you would forever keep him in your heart just as he would keep you with him. The pain in your chest was impossible to describe; your whole body throbbed in pain as you watched him disappear into the forest far away, and it wasn’t long before you were sobbing against the ground.
   A sob wrecked through your body, a silent scream leaving your lungs. You could barely breathe as you cried, though you desperately wiped at your eyes, knowing this was the best for him. Knowing that if you stayed longer, you would be tempted to go after him, to be selfish and take him back. Beg him to hold you and tell you everything was going to be okay – but you had tried that already. You had taken him, and you had let him tell you things were going to be okay. He had left his world for you, yet it didn’t work. It wasn’t right.
   Tears blurring your vision, you pushed yourself off the ground, his clothes pressed to your chest. You held them up to your nose, taking in a deep breath of his scent, squeezing your eyes shut.
   They snapped open when the sound of a howl, his howl, broke through the air. You could see him, in the distance, on a small hill, barren of trees, howling towards the moon, and you somehow knew he was talking to you. You felt like he was besides you, holding you again, patting your head and telling you that you still loved each other. That love didn’t have to be this way or that way, and that you were both still alive. Telling you to live on, that he would be fine.
   Telling you to go. To be free.
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dokidokivisual · 4 years ago
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Gochiusa BLOOM episode 8 impressions
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Previously: 7 - 6 - 5 - 4 - 3 - 2 - 1
Here we go, the long awaited Rize episode is upon us. She’s been rather sidelined this season, aside from maybe the marathon episode with Chiya. But now it’s finally her time to shine!
I didn’t have much time to write this review, due to various circumstances, but I hope it’s still worth reading.
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The episode opens with Rize waking up Cocoa while imitating Chino’s voice and manners, such as calling her Cocoa-san. This scene is reminiscent of the post-credits scene from season 1 episode 12, although it has been implied Chino wakes up Cocoa all the time. The rabbit Cocoa sleeps with has been given to her by Chino at the end of Dear My Sister OVA, but it was Rize who helped Chino make it.
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Rize had a fight with her father about her wanting to become an elementary school teacher, and stayed over at Rabbit House. She seems to think neither her father nor even Cocoa and Chino take her seriously. To be fair, it kind of comes out of a left field. The justification for it (which is revealed later) is also rather silly, as Chimame aren’t even elementary schoolers. It’s interesting to see if the manga will ever get to the point where Rize is teaching a class because I don’t think there have been any elementary schools introduced yet or any character who attends or teaches in one.
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Rize herself also has some doubts about it, since she worries she will come out as too strict (and called a ”demon sergeant”, which is a callback to Dear My Sister where she took command over Chimame-tai), although Rize has become considerably more gentle since the events of DMS. Cocoa volunteers to become Rize’s teacher to show her how it’s done, but ends up making Rize do all the work while she just lazes about.
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By the way, the book Cocoa is reading in this scene is called “Caffeine Fighter” which was mentioned before as one of Aoyama’s works based on Sharo, and this is the first time we see (although in very low resolution) what the lead character is supposed to look like.
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Chino takes over the job, although it seems she just wants help with her homework (the book is labeled as “Mathematics, 3rd grade of middle school” and this particular lesson concerns the quadratic function and its graph). Rize uses her rabbit stamp on Cocoa and then on Chino for solving their tasks, and finds out that it’s a very good motivation.
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One thing that western viewers might overlook is the prevalence of stamps in the Japanese daily life. Instead of signing legally binding documents, you’re supposed to stamp it with an officially registered personal seal called hanko. Things like stamp rallies are popular and you can often get a visitor stamp in various temples and train stations. So the fact that Rize carries a stamp with herself at all times is not at all unusual.
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Next, Rize’s signature dish, napolitan pasta, makes an appearance. In the episode 6 review I lamented that Rize’s pasta never showed up, but now we can finally see what it’s all about. By the way, despite its name, this dish is actually Japanese in origin, and was inspired by American military rations, which makes it quite fitting for Rize. Cocoa uses the Italian word buono to describe the pasta, which means “good”.
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During the bathtime, the stamps easily wash off, so Rize gives Cocoa and Chino stamp cards, just like to Chiya in episode 5. Not aware of this, Cocoa and Chino think this signifies their special bond. However shortly after, Cocoa boasts about it to Chiya at school, and realizes that not only Chiya has it, but also Maya and Megu. In the manga Cocoa and Chino confront Rize about it directly after, but the anime sandwiches another chapter in between.
Like I mentioned in the episode preview, chapters 2 and 7 from the volume 6 of the manga share a similar theme of studying, so it’s not surprising they were unified into one episode. Interestingly the chapter 7 is titled “Sweet Skip Step” which shares with the title of the episode “Stamp, Sleep, Study, Smile” the pattern of words starting with the Japanese syllable ‘su’. Another episode sharing this property is season 2 episode 8 titled “Sneaking Stalking Stalker Story”.
This second part of the episode is more Chimame-focused, and brings up the concept of juku, or “cram school”, which are very widespread in Japan. This is a small private school that students visit after their public school classes in preparation for the exams. Of course the way it’s portrayed in the episode is just regular tutoring, so you wouldn’t know the difference.
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Anyway, Cocoa has opened a juku in Rabbit House and is now sporting lab coat and glasses look. Megu attends the “school” and we learn that the reason why she wants to go to Rize’s school is because her mother went there too. Cocoa asks if that’s really her own decision, and we later learn Megu isn’t really sure about that. Immediately after, Megu’s phone rings notifying her that she needs to “transfer to another classroom”, and Rize’s comment implies that Cocoa hasn’t really even started teaching yet. In the manga there’s a 1 hour gap between the Cocoa/Megu conversation and her going to another class, and Megu thanks Cocoa for her lesson.
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The next class is Japanese literature taught by Chiya (she calls it 国語 “national language” which implies that the show is really set in Japan, or at least a Japanese-speaking country). Megu is impressed by how seriously Chino takes her studies, and how she strives to excel both in school and at her job just like Chiya and other high school characters (it was previously mentioned that Chino’s grades aren’t very good). However Chiya gets distracted and decides to spy on Sharo, who is teaching Maya at the time. It seems Sharo’s house isn’t very soundproof at all and they easily get discovered.
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Maya isn’t sure about being able to pass the scholarship student exam and asked Sharo to help her, as Sharo has also passed this exam in the past. Sharo is eating some strange foodstuff that I thought was onigiri, but looks more like a cookie wrapped in nori for some reason.
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Anyway, Chimame get invited by Rize to “onsen pool” but they think Rize is going to scold them for not taking their studies seriously. Meanwhile Rize’s dad is calling Takahiro to make him convince Rize to come back. Apparently during the war, Takahiro’s skill was persuasion, while Rize’s dad’s special technique was rushing into action like Leeroy Jenkins.
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The “onsen pool” which previously appeared twice in season 1 is largely based on hot spring baths of Budapest, which I had visited last year. This scene is used to develop Megu’s character, specifically her insecurities and sense of inferiority towards Chino and Maya. It doesn’t help that Maya and Chino are jealous of her body and call her fat. Then, Maya and Chino decide to compete in swimming, suggested by Chino, who in the manga almost drowned during a hiking trip and that was her motivation to get better at swimming. In the anime (season 2 episode 11) she didn’t really drown so she just says she likes swimming now for some reason.
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Anyway, Megu can’t keep up with them (both metaphorically and literally) and this time drowns even in the anime adaptation. However this scene was also altered from the manga, in the manga it’s implied that Maya and Chino drag her out while Rize comes too late and Maya calls her slow. But in anime, Rize is the one who saves Megu and is roundly praised by Chimame-tai.
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The next scene parallels the one from season 1 episode 10 where Chimame-tai name was officially established, after Rize outruns them to Rabbit House. This time Chimame already got used to the name (which means something like “blood blister” in Japanese), so they’re ok with being called this forever if they win.
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When Rize comes back, Cocoa (who held a grudge for so long that you might’ve forgotten about it with how fast-paced this episode is) kabedons Rize and asks for explanation for the whole stamp card business. However it turns out to be just a prank and an excuse for Rize to have a home cooked dinner with everyone. Rize’s accomplishments in previous episodes are also brought up, and she gets another round of praise. And then everyone gets lots of stamps.
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Rize gets a stamp too when she’s asleep. This scene was in general modified quite heavily compared to the manga, to better fit with the rest of the episode I guess. One scene that was cut was Cocoa and Chino discovering Rize’s notes about their food preferences and regular guests of Rabbit House. Also, the phone conversation between Rize’s dad and Takahiro was the last panel in this chapter so Rize’s situation with her dad was never resolved.
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The anime adaptation does provide a resolution in the form of a cinematic car scene with a tense dialogue between Rize and her father. Cars are very rare in Gochiusa universe and the last time we saw one (season 2 episode 10) it also belonged to Rize’s family. Rize’s father is driving an Audi R8 with plate number TO-526, which might refer to his voice actor Touchi Hiroki who was born on May 26.
The car eventually stops on the bridge, which is basically a metaphor for reconciliation (i.e. “building bridges”) and the color scheme changes from red to blue, as Rize’s father eventually apologises to her and Rize gives him a stamp of approval. And so concludes the 8th episode of Gochiusa BLOOM, which finally gave Rize the recognition she deserves. I guess we’ll see if she can reach her goal of becoming a teacher in the future manga chapters. And there’s still four more BLOOM episodes to watch!
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