#also i love him so much bc he was so careful and thoughtful with mulder and i wouldnt - not for a single second - think abt

[pennyserenade]

me trying to explain why i have to love david duchovny bc i love fox mulder so much and to love fox mulder means to be, at least on some level, in love with david duchovny

[xf-cases-solved]

i've been doing my xfiles rewatch, but i've also been watching twin peaks for the first time with my partner (v weird that i haven't seen it before bc it's very much My Type of show, but w/e), and silence of the lambs was already my favorite movie. so since my personal aesthetic is apparently very specifically honed in on creepy and weird early 90s entertainment centered around fbi agents, here's a collection of random crossover thoughts i've had while watching these things, in no particular order:

-twin peaks, xfiles, silence of the lambs, except all the characters are shifted one plot to the left, so you have mulder and scully trying to figure out the death of laura palmer, clarice assigned to the xfiles division, and dale cooper having to make a rapport with dr. hannibal lecter

-separate thought: if mulder and scully met dale cooper, mulder would be absolutely delighted, and scully would want to put his head on a slab. this would just make mulder more delighted

cooper would be very pleasant to them both, but would find mulder's lack of self-care unsettling. mulder would be trying to talk about the case when cooper would interrupt him to tell him to try the mulberry pie and take a moment to savor it

he would also be able to follow scully's reasonings and would know all the references to scientific studies she makes, and would be like, "very clever! you're very intelligent!" not in a facetious way, he'd mean it genuinely, but then he'd still insist that his dream will lead them to the killer and she'd want to rip her hair out

-cooper to m&s, apropos of nothing: so how long have the two of you been in love?

-scully would not enjoy twin peaks. too rustic, too weird, too many affairs to keep track of

-mulder would love it for all the reasons she hates it

-if clarice and scully met they would get to know each other carnally, obviously. msr can still exist, but mulder has to be ok with being cuckolded by special agent clarice starling

he can watch sometimes, if wants ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

-agent crawford would have one (1) conversation with mulder and would immediately write him off as insane and never talk to him again

-crawford and scully would get along fine

-clarice and cooper would be buds, bc even tho cooper is fucking weird, he would be very enthusiastic about how clever she is, and would talk her up constantly, and clarice would appreciate the validation and kindness (besides, she's pseudo friends with hannibal lecter, cooper's idiosyncrasies are nothing in comparison)

-hannibal lecter wouldn't be able to manipulate mulder, but he wouldn't be that impressed by him either. it would be a mutual disdain. they could potentially have a hannibal/will graham-esque relationship but eh

-as badly as a "quid pro quo" scene between scully and hannibal would slap, i can't imagine scully giving hannibal anything to work with. she wouldn't stick around to play games; she doesn't have time for it and would never be able to regard him as anything besides a monster

mulder would agree to take on the puzzles, and hannibal might give them to him, but he'd taunt him and send him on wild goose chases more than he does with clarice, bc mulder doesn't have anything he particularly wants, but he is vaguely curious to see if he can figure it out. (mulder WOULD figure it out, but only with the addition of scully's analysis and theories, not hannibal's direction alone)

-hannibal would not talk to cooper lol. cooper would figure out who buffalo bill is anyway, tho

-nobody at the fbi in the xfiles universe would know how to handle dale cooper. skinner especially would be very -squints- about it, bc he'd get results, but would just be so fucking Weird™️ about it, but in such a different way than mulder is weird

-the lone gunmen would be very sweet and protective over clarice. they would be very confused and vaguely unsettled by cooper

-clarice would be skinner's dream agent bc she would listen to him and value his input and rarely punch him in the face or hold him at gunpoint

-while i can picture clarice getting the hang of the xfiles, i have trouble picturing her in twin peaks (tho, do note that i haven't seen all of it so mb that would change)

-this isn't a headcanon so much as a v obvious observation, but they are all so fucking hot, what the fuck??

-final thought: dale cooper, clarice starling, dana scully, and fox mulder = dream blunt rotation

anyway those are some of the things i think about in my spare time

the end

[sunfortune]

ok maybe i’m jumping the gun bcos i’m only halfway-ish through hellbent, but! as much as i love the dynamic between darlingstern and as much as they are both developed as characters, i feel like there was no development between the two of them? there’s no scene or chapter that makes me go, “oh that’s why they’re so insane abt the other,” and i keep expecting a flashback to happen to explain it. the crystal smashing scene was cute but i don’t see how it makes alex become obsessed w saving darlington or how it makes darlington consistently reach out to her when he’s in hell. am i going crazy i feel like i’m missing something. the mutual obsession is 10/10 but it’s like. Why are they mutually obsessed with each other

i thought that too which is why i thought they were like no way near being in a romantic relationship after ninth house. and after i went in the tag and people were writing ninth house fic where they just get together. i was like nooooo! they are not ready for that

and when leigh bardugo was like i wanna write like ten books for this series i was like yeah!! bc they NEED to be like scully and mulder and be in an insane codependent workplace relationship for like ten million years before they get anywhere romantically

until she changed her mind and made it a trilogy so then the trajectory of it changed in book 2.

but i do get why alex was trying to get him back in the beginning. it wasn’t necessarily romantic. he was her friend but also she feels guilt for her hesitation when he got sucked in after figuring out the ground zero stuff. and then the intrigue of no one being able to figure out what the hell happened to him added to the obsession.

and then the whole reveal of how if HE was disposable to lethe how much do they really care about her. it’s codependent coworkers

i didn’t get why he was also insane. until they gave his backstory and he was just as lonely and neglected as her despite the polished veneer of him. so like i GET why they latched onto each other (they litchrally have no one else who’s in the same boat) but i also think it’s true they need sooooo much more until a romance between them would actually hit.

but i do think at the end of book 2 they are in a new place entirely bc their standing changes a lot. this dream was lowkey foreshadowing of where they are at the end of book 2 too: it’s not the same

i think part of it is just classic codependent coworkers situation which then warps considerably after alex literally went to hell to get him out. like they’re still very much coworkers despite all that. so now it’s weird lmao. and it’s really hard to be casual about it. even tho alex is very much trying.

but yeah i also think they are not there romantically yet but they are also insane so it kind of doesn’t matter bc the devotion isn’t romantic. i need them to keep being insane. and with how much book 2 changed the trajectory i think book 3 can pull through if done well. but who knows. here’s hoping <3

[zannolin]

Beloved on the dash. One of my profs was telling the class that he thinks we should watch national treasure. I immediately thought of you. I am inviting you to rant or talk about anything you like about this film and I will most likely be convinced to watch it. The floor is yours 🎤

first, before i go absolutely batshit unhinged about national treasure, i went "aww" being addressed as "beloved on the dash." truly an esteemed title among tumblrinas.

now back to business. ur professor is so fucking correct it's such a silly feel good heist movie. and as i have discussed with my sister i am fully aware that it's something i can enjoy with very little complication bc i am both white and american but at least the first is a bit less like that than the second. all the characters have a boner for america or whatever just be aware but sometimes i'm like damn i wish i lived in whatever fantasy america ben gates believes in bc that sure isn't the one we have here. (if nothing else his speech to the president in book of secrets is good for a laugh especially in a post 2016 america BUT I DIGRESS) okay now that that's out of the way. it's such a wonderful movie. it's batshit unhinged you have nicolas cage playing a little freak who knows way way way too much about american history who looks like he's having a midlife crisis to everyone who doesn't know him and also those who do but actually he's just Like That. he's the fox mulder of treasure hunters with his emotional support nerd and they steal the fucking declaration of independence like. i feel like that alone should convince anyone who even knows what the declaration of independence is to watch it. it's fucking hilarious. they're stealing one of their country's most important/famous historical documents to keep some OTHER british guys from stealing it because there's a treasure map (A TREASURE MAP!!!) on the back. have you ever heard of a more ridiculously delightful premise. i wish every movie was like this.

plus the chemistry is great idk how they pulled that off but i wanna watch these idiots argue for hours. they're all so fucking snarky but in a fun way not in a "i am this year's 928474th marvel movie and i'm incapable of being genuine for even 2 seconds" way. and btw it's stupidly earnest about caring about history and wanting to share it with the world despite its flaws and i can't help it i'm charmed. AND as i've yelled about AT LENGHT it has in my opinion if not hte most iconic at LEAST the most gorgeous score. what the fuck was trevor rabin on in 2004. and also in 2007 for book of secrets. that dude is a musical genius.

it's as quotable as the princess bride (to me, anyway) and like idk man it's genuinely funny and absolutely ridiculous and it knows it's ridiculous and embraces that. and i love that.

also. riley poole 👍

i watched the entire show for one episode him. you know those characters that like you interact with as a child and they alter your entire chemical makeup for the rest of you life? he's one of those for me. that is the best (or perhaps the worst depending on how you feel about me) endorsement i can offer.

[masterthespianduchovny]

I’m not even exaggerating when I say Mulder is undervalued as a character.

However you view David’s skill as an actor, he took a character who should not work and made Mulder someone viewers loved and cared for. We were like Scully, Mulder sounded not grounded to us at first, and then we get to meet him and entertain his ideas. We want to see if they’re true or not and how true.

Mulder is so caring and sympathetic to victims, monsters, and those who were framed as both. He’s the first to sympathize with a victim and the first to see humanity in a monster.

This man spent a chunk of his life looking for his sister who was abducted in front of his eyes. He has so much trauma and ptsd that he has low self worth, but god, does he fight on the behalf of others like hell.

People overlook all the fucking good Mulder does to call him a jerk because he isn’t worshipping the ground Scully walks on 24/7. Mulder isn’t allowed to be flawed or human. Moments that I can’t deny that Mulder was a jerk: queequeg’s death, beginning of never again, the Diana situation, and maybe a few others.

Mulder was the same guy who almost saved Scully when she was abducted, the same guy who literally almost quit his job before skinner tore up his resignation paper, he heavily considered dying for Scully as well as taking his own life, he was angry at Maggie and Melissa for giving up on Scully so fast. This all happens in a little over a year of knowing Scully.

Then when Scully comes back, Mulder looked out for her well-being and wasn’t trying to force her to work. He wouldn’t have even blamed her for transferring. Later on in the same season, he literally traded someone who he believed was his long lost sister FOR Scully.

Mulder also has tender moments with Scully that aren’t cancer arc related or a major life event.

Yet, his bad moments with Scully are the ones that define him. Yet, people find time to over exaggerate shit and take it out of context all while ignoring Scully’s shit bc she’s “long suffering.”

Like, Christ, I’m tired of reading this shit every few months bc someone has a major Scully slant and thinks Mulder exists just to please Scully.

He’s his own fucking person:

And let’s not forget: MULDER LITERALLY TREATS SCULLY BETTER THAN ANY ONE ELSE PROFESSIONALLY, GENERALLY SPEAKING, AND SINCERELY THOUGHT SHE COULD’VE RISEN UP IN THE RANKS AT THE FBI.

There is no bigger fan of Scully than Mulder and he’d be the first to tell anyone she deserved a better career than being stuck in the basement.

People love to talk about how hot, goofy, and in love with Scully Mulder is, but he’s a pretty great fucking person on his own merit.

Just like Scully gave up a career, Mulder did too. Mulder had so much professional capital he probably could’ve been an AD at a younger age then skinner. He probably could’ve been a director. People truly forget just how smart, how charming, and how good at his job Mulder could be when it came to the political stuff. It’s not that Mulder can’t do it, he refused to. His superiors are angry at him being in the basement because of how god damn talented he was. In case anyone forgot: Scully was assigned to debunk Mulder’s work to get him back into the mainstream at the FBI. You don’t do that for an average ass worker.

And Mulder didn’t just throw away his careers to chase monsters, he cared about the victims. If not him (before Scully), then who? No one cared or took them seriously. And Mulder had to find cases, prove their merits to be investigated on the FBI dime, and then fight for them throughout the case and after. Mulder was constantly advocating for others.

And he’s written off by some for being a jerk at times??? I need people to please review Mulder’s backstory, and then take a closer look at the fucked up shit that happened during the show and honestly say that most of Mulder’s behavior isn’t understandable. His critics be saying like his behavior is unfounded or always on 10. Like, no, y’all only focus on the uncommon shit, and then make it something it isn’t.

Some may think I’m full of shit, exaggerating, or I have a point, but not a strong one, consider this: why is Mulder constantly criticized and called a jerk by some because he wasn’t super supportive during Scully’s pregnancy as if he wasn’t literally abducted and buried alive for months? As if Mulder hadn’t just gone than an indescribably traumatic ordeal and doesn’t know how to process it. Sure, Mulder was a jerk, but wouldn’t you say that the reason why is fucking important? It’s not right that how he behaved at times, but how would anyone of us deal with such a situation?

People going through personality changes over less dire situations, but Mulder can’t be a little jerkish just because Scully’s pregnant???

Okay. 😒

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

Okay so I saw the Emily episodes last night and now I’m just sitting here having a Sad over it. Like, I’d been previously aware that an Emily existed, but unaware as to how things actually went down, so more of a surprise than I’d expected.

I loved the fact that—we’ve seen Mulder be super protective over his sister, but this time we get to see that protectiveness being expanded to another little girl. He really cares about keeping kids safe, doesn’t he?

The part where he’s not sure what he believes anymore 😭 (can’t remember if that was from these episodes or not though)

A little surprised he wouldn’t give Scully a heads-up about what he was about to tell the judge regarding her infertility, seeing as she didn’t already know it. So glad she didn’t get really mad at him. He hasn’t told her a lot of things though, including about what he found in the office during this arc. What’s your thoughts about M trying to protect S by keeping things from her?

I loved that she called him in for backup. She’s facing little to no support on all fronts, and then one phone call brings him unquestioningly in.

But poor Scully, fighting a losing battle all the way down to the end—this whole storyline just radiates loss.

oh the Emily arc... all my feels. sorry for taking a few days to get to this, it's been a loooong weekend for me lol and I haven't gotten much sleep.

I didn't expect those episodes to hit me as hard or stick with me as much as they did, but here I am, trawling AO3 and Tumblr for every fic I can find lol...

dude yes that connection between Emily and Samantha... Mulder already projects onto children so often on cases, because of his own childhood trauma, and Emily is just this lost little girl who needs protected, who's a part of the conspiracy out of her or anyone else's control — and she's Scully's, too — and it's kinda like... of COURSE he was going to absolutely adore her. of COURSE he would bend heaven and earth for Scully's lost little girl. the part where he goes after that doctor and shoves him up against the bookshelf and yells and threatens him is just ahsjdjsksk he is SO protective 😭

(also the fact that textually, IN CANON, IN AS MANY WORDS, they outright stated what happened as medical rape... the one and only time Chris Carter was self-aware....)

ok so re: Mulder not telling Scully about her stolen ova — I think a lot of this comes down to him being Really Bad At Talking About Things (TM). he doesn't want to add that knowledge to everything she's already struggling with during the cancer arc, and, if I have it correct (pretty big "if" tbh), the Reduxes happen shortly prior to Thanksgiving — which means that at the point of the Emily episodes it hasn't been all that long, maybe a month and a half, since her cancer went into remission. so I just kinda feel like he never had an opportunity that felt like it would be the right time — knowing how awkward he can be, idk when/if he *would* have told her without the circumstances of CC/Emily tbh. they can talk about so much stuff all the time but when it comes to serious things, they both s t r u g g l e. and, like you said, in a way he was trying to protect her from more pain — especially since she was also fighting cancer.

and yeah!! she really can't think of anywhere else she wants to turn, anyone else she can depend on the way she can trust Mulder — and of course, he's there for her in heartbeat. no hesitation, they're there for each other no matter what, no questions asked. the way he supports her in these eps always gets to me, he's struggling so much both bc he hid the fact of her infertility from her and because he, as always, blames himself for everything that happens to her and by extension Emily, but he's there at her shoulder at the hospital and doing everything he possibly can for her and her little girl. it's heartbreaking honestly, especially when the doctor asks if they're the parents and they look at each other (and uh... please note that they Don't deny it....) and Mulder ducks his head like he thinks he's undeserving even of that assumption. but the fact of the matter is that he DOES often, as i saw a now-deactivated user point out once, take on quite a bit of the responsibility that a husband would for Scully — even so far as being the one to go with her mom to choose a hecking gravestone when they think she's dead, and being the one to call and tell her mom she has cancer. I know I joke a lot about Mulder being husband material, but... for real. and in the context of the Emily arc, that HURTS.

poor Scully indeed... she's constantly put through more trauma, more loss, more grief, and she carries it with so much grace most of the time, but she doesn't deserve any of it. neither does poor sweet Emily, for that matter... honestly the Scully girls all just deserve so much better (including Melissa... my beloved.... I miss her every day...).

[driftingwriter]

hello beautiful! it is i, your secret sleuth, here to bother you once again. i have some questions for you:

1. thoughts on yesterdays nd episode??? thoughts on the promo for episode 9? I DON'T WANT ANYTHING BAD HAPPENING TO MY BABY ACE!

2. what are your top 5 ships of all time across any media? (i demand an explanation for your picks, too)

3. would you consider yourself a big christmas celebrator? if so, what are you most looking forward to about christmas? if not (or you can just answer this one as a 4th question if you want), what do you love and/or hate the most about winter?

love, your secret sleuth xoxo

hello lovely person!!

1. um okay so here is a bit of rambling that you can totally ignore bc its crackhead theories. so yeah park is probably not a good guy but he's still hot so who even cares? i do think either ace or ryan will be getting hurt but im ready for the angst. just THINK of the angst potential, like it's gonna be soooo good i know it. im so so so ready for the rest of this season, it has been AMAZING so far. yeah ep 9 promo oooooh i have no clue what to think. i do think something will be happening with ace more than him being unconscious. what im most curious about is why nancy called him name in the tunnels, but we'll see soon. i KNOW we're gonna get some good nace content ep 9 and i am ready to be fed.

2. Okay this question is surprisingly hard because for some reason i dont know? i mean there's Nace, OBVIOUSLY, because they are perfect for each other and the slow burn is fantastic and they just love each other the way everyone deserves. Mulder and Scully from the X-Files for basically the exact same reasons. These are two of my favorite shows and my main ship for them is one that revolves around partners in every sense of the word. But then im like?? there's so many??? i've never thought about it in list format, so i'm going to name the first ones i can think of that mean something to me. Anne and Gilbert from Anne with an E because they are so so soft and so young and make me feel things that first love should make me feel. Wanda and Vision from Marvel because they just center one another and have such a beautiful story and it's like i'm so obsessed. Howl and Sophie from Howl's moving castle because they complement the other in perfect ways and balance one another. i forced myself to stick to tv and movies bc throwing books into the mix would mean this would be EVEN longer than it is. also special mention to nabrina from caos and ben and leslie from parks and rec bc i ADORE them.

3.I LOVE CHRISTMAS. i've just never had one that has reached it's potential. hopefully in the future. i just love how cozy it is and happy and i love a christmas carol so so much. what i love most about winter is both the happiness it makes me feel and cute sweaters and coats and boots. i hate how dry my hands get.

secret sleuth im sorry for this essay?? im crazy. unhinged. i blame nancy drew.

okay love and adore you!! have the best day!!

[melforbes]

ask meme. what if. patching up. no I still haven’t seen source material

the way i completely forgot about this ask until i wrote like two paragraphs in this and was like oh shit lmao

the source material is getting an hbo series bb you're in luck also ignore anna whatever as tess yes i respect her as an actress yes she is talented in a bunch of things i have not seen but ms annie wersching is the only tess in my heart and also if i have to endure tess being reduced to a powerbitch stereotype i will start foaming at the mouth. but also i have no feelings about this whatsoever <3

WHAT IF: i will pick an important choice or event in my current project and write three sentences (or more?) about if it’d gone done differently

hmmmmmmMMMMMMMMMMMMMm

this is hard because i kind of had a stupid amount of confidence in the decisions i had them make in this and because i have ~a lot of experience~ in flying by the seat of my pants with writing lmaooooo a lot of the time with this ive had some degree of foresight when it comes to certain plot decisions. the only reason i have this in the first place is that with other things ive had kind of sort of plot revelations and then been like "well if i'd set that up three chapters ago it would have a huge impact i think but instead i guess it's just going in this one for a smaller impact" so i think i learned my lesson haha. also because this pairing nowadays has a small and sparse tag i really intentionally put in stuff to make it interesting (maybe the wrong word) to reread. like not Interesting interesting but i wanted there to be certain details that are more relevant on a reread than on an initial read because whenever i read stuff in small tags i tend to read it Multiple Times lmaoooooo and it's like if anyone like me is out there I Will Feed You. I Will Give You Food. you see i have this problem in which im like i dont want to act like i put thought into this because That's Embarrassing and i also dont want to seem like i take this too seriously because That's Embarrassing and also i dont want to act uppity or pompous or something But At The Same Time i do put a lot of thought into certain things and i feel like mentioning that and i dont really want to judge myself for that. it's complicated but also super uncomplicated. where was i going with this

OH right. so most of the plot decisions were made super concretely. like pre breakup arc in the nightmares chapters (which came out so much worse than i intended alkdjksjad;glksjg) when tess and joel talk about ellie Knowing (also legit it is such a trip to me that you dont know the context of that. a trip in a good way) she says we every time and he only ever says i even when she points out that this would affect both of them, and at one point i think he says that tess doesnt understand baseless violence which is 100% untrue, and then there's a bunch of window imagery i put in starting there because im a freak. so like For Once In My Life a lot of this was as planned as it could be. on occasion there's been Plot Revelations that get wedged in (the radio interlude chapter, which was a bit of an inelegant seam between prewritten things that didnt mesh well) but for the most part ive got tits out into every decision. like tess and ellie disagreeing about joel's choice was very planned though i imagine that kind of conversation could be executed many different ways i had my one way and stuck to it. so either way

where was i going with this. did i have a point.

OKAY. let's see. i think one of the big ~emotional beats~ so to speak was the ambush chapter and i think that's the favorite because that's usually where people comment if i remember correctly and initially i wasnt going to go with that tone At All haha. years ago i wrote everyday domestic scenes of mulder and scully from x files and had it all on this blog and it was plotless but largely in the same overarching universe (i say as if it was legit ever That Deep) and after writing this as a oneshot and being like you know? Kind of feel like doing that again. i figured i would just follow the same largely plotless path of legit just domesticity and leave it at that. and i think the first like five chapters are tonally different from the rest because i'd never really intended for it to have plot or really any depth whatsoever. in the end like. How do i say this in a way that wont be interpreted as uppity or something asldkjgalsdgjk like. when i did those mulder scully scenes i was very much a beginner and i think i didnt realize just how inherent that beginner-ness was to the concept itself. which isnt a bad thing! like people had fun with those so far as i remember. bizarrely enough i think people might still read those which. cringe. but you kno!!! but with a few years of distance from that kind of concept i think it was hard for me to Not try something else. especially with this universe in which it's just dense with storytelling opportunity. and also i felt as if the first few chapters were just like super super lighthearted and i wanted some angst factor. which is why in the end the angst factor plot itself is flimsy as fuck. like i did not care WHY they got attacked i just wanted that sweet sweet hurt/comfort cup of tea u feel. and after that i didnt really go for the plot too much But i did edge toward it a lot more. like i mean ultimately this is a romance like it was not intended to be plot heavy ever But it's more plot heavy than it couldve been. had i actually written it as i'd intended from the start i think it wouldve gotten old really fast. like nothing but lighthearted domesticity doesnt make sense in this context. for the first few chapters it doesnt necessarily kill the whole thing imo because like. that's the first few chapters. but after then if there was never any ~deeper thoughts~ i think it wouldve gotten reductive super fast.

hmmm what else. Because i am deciding to talk too much on the internet now.

oh in theory the whole breakup arc couldve been omitted and now in retrospect im like it's hilarious that like the next chapter after they got married i immediately peppered in hints that they would break up lkajsdglaksjgdlkj like wow. That lasted a long time. but like i mean i think with them it fits that they would do something like get married before they even said that they loved each other. like i can see them doing a massive workaround instead of doing a small and simple but vulnerable thing. makes sense 2 me. and like they definitely couldve stuck together in the end but 1 theres interesting storytelling in how maybe joel was too stubborn or maybe they grew apart in certain ways or blah blah blah and 2 I JUST LOVE A GOOD BREAKUP AND THEN RETURNING TO EACH OTHER ARC OKAAAAAAAAAY. legit. favorite trope. if i ever experienced that in real life i would claw my eyes out but in fiction it makes me FERALLLL. and also like i mean i lov these two for their dumb quirks but also like it would be a lil wrong to say there wouldnt be consequences for like. Not communicating haha. also again like the world this game is put in is so full of storytelling opportunities and im like Must Take Them All. like joel is stubborn as hell and shuts down when he's overwhelmed and there is growth in the first game (and in the second too but thats not really shown as much and is more left for the player to fill in the gaps i think) but also i think it would be super easy to regress in that sense and i had fun with putting him in those situations. and it's also super fun to have an additional person for the joel and ellie plots to bounce off of. like joel and ellie are two very stubborn people and having an extra person there to be like You Blithering Idiots has been a good time. im getting sidetracked. like it was fun to answer the question of how these two in a marriage neither of them can fully substantiate would communicate in hard times and the answer i personally found was that they both would end up breaking things. which was fun to write!!!!!!!!! but in theory couldve been prevented. maybe i just cant imagine this a different way haha. like Joel And Tess Learn Healthy Communication Skills Over Time. am i mean for saying that doesnt sound probable aldskjgalskdjgslkgj

OH LMAO THE MARRIAGE PART. that was also a big decision i guess. i wouldnt make it go differently alksdjglasdjg like. i definitely couldve written the context around that many different ways bc again this whole is full of opportunity But a frankly premature wedding just feels right to me. especially with like going from being stuck on survival to being safe for the first time in decades. and then having that sense of safety get boring and wondering why there was that super fast wedding in the first place. cant really imagine it going differently

there is later unposted stuff that could def have gone many different ways and that i tried to make go different ways but that would not be right to talk about akldsjaslkgdjsg so.

this got too long sorry <3

[floralege]

all the ships !

who’s more likely to find who wearing their clothes?: i feel like brigitte has a blast putting pru in designer clothing, considering that’s how they met. bonus is catching bee in pru’s band t-shirts. fern has made a lifestyle of stealing liam’s zeppelin shirts. also just thought of rome in a suit and had a heart palpitation 

who enunciates hand holding?: this is mick and daisy, who are probably met with playful disgust. shut up, we’re gonna hold hands. 

who likes having their hair washed by who?: jules n bella take dramatically long baths together, romy loves washing molly’s hair, fred probably plays with cameron’s hair and it makes her soft inside 

who likes to slow dance?: this screams scully n mulder, and mulder may initiate but scully digs it. catch fourteen year old mick asking brigitte to dance while delphine says that’s never gonna happen. oh ho HO how time flies. we all know gid’s got a romantic hard on for rome, so slow dancing under the full moon is a big must.

muse that’s more likely to fall asleep with their head in the others lap?: liam falls asleep all over fern while she’s on the phone with record execs, jesse literally thinks of jane as his personal pillow, jules and bella take turns sleeping on each other and make a big show of it 

muse that does all the cuddling in a blanket fort?: i could not tell you a single ship that would have a blanket fort??? maybe sadie and jimmy when they’re super drunk??

who hogs most of the covers at night?: your answer was pretty apt so i’m sticking with that 

muse who nuzzles the others shoulder to get them to give them a head rub?: sadie definitely, also jesse. daisy just does it instinctively for dom

how do they share a desert? two forks or one?: cameron and freddie share one fork and stuff each other’s faces, it’s adorable and we hate them. pru and bee start with two forks on opposite sides of the booth, til pru slinks over and they become giggling messes. 

who gets jealous more easily?: gideon was never too jealous before rome had james, and now he’s like, pathetic. also very annoyed that she never displays her jealousy. liam, we know this. mick gets a little :/ but also knows he’s literally not even really dating delphine so he gets over himself pretty quickly. sadie doesn’t get jeaaaalous exactly, but she also likes to pull the ‘he’s already got a friend’ card so 

who gets angered more easily?: gideon, liam, sadie, pru, scully is half mulder’s size and will fight anyone who looks at him wrong.

who gets the most shoulder rubs?: this one is longer than expected and also you got the right answer already so, cecile probably bc she is an angel 

what are there arguments/fights like? how often do they fight?: early liam/fern fights were built on jealousy n drugs and somehow always ended in sex unless liam felt like being withholding. tbh pru and delphine are soulmates but at some point pru will take pity on her brother and need to have a talk with delph like ‘so whats really gonna happen bc i’m starting to feel bad’ somehow! molly and romy are so cute yet somehow always have fights that hurt like hell 

who is more likely to throw things in fights?: bella, fern, gideon is like the 18th century version of that post where the girl framed the guy’s punch in the wall 

how do they make it up to each other/apologize after an argument? probably just sex all around. also expensive jewelry from grady. 

do they have nicknames for each other?: pru, bee, stills, fernie, molls, drunk sadie says ‘jimothy’ a lot, ivor was a big fan of saying ‘miss cece’ no matter what. obvs scully and mulder, but that’s too easy. when they’re sneaking around, dom and daisy probably had code names, and they were probably bad. they’re so anglo. 

caring for each other while ill, how does the other muse go about it?: brigitte probably gives pru the full pamper treatment, so pru pretends to be sick a few days longer than she actually has. munchhausen by caldwell 

who’s more likely to be patching the others wound?: fern has tended to many of liam’s bloodied knuckles over the years, ivor boxes now and then so he probably came into work very sore n bruised up and cecile took care of him. 

muse that says ‘I told you so’, after they come home from the beach and other muse is burnt to a crisp while whining how bad it hurts for not listening and putting on sunblock after the other muse repeatedly told them they’d get burnt?: well i read this in jane’s voice so very clearly jesse/jane content right there! 

your otp has a newborn baby, who gets up in the middle of the night when he/she cries?: freddie and cameron were both so excited when henry was born that they probs both jumped at the chance to do it bc they live in some little rose-colored world. daisy and dom have already Done That Shit and would cringe at the thought… also imagine them having some late in life baby after all that shit went down? camille and moises would truly be tormented. jesse would be the softest dad i’m :’)

what would they be like as parents?: like i said, jesse would be a soft dad ! so soft ! too bad his life is filled with fucking pain at every turn, he’s so good with kids. mick has a complex about his childhood, so he’d be determined to be a v attentive father. daisy and dom are messy as people, but they’re good parents who love their respective kids very much. as we’ve learned, liam and fern luv the kiddos but… can’t hack it for too long. 

what would they have been like as childhood sweethearts? dom and daisy are technically childhood sweethearts and… look how that turned out. jesse and jane would’ve build very intricate sandcastles together, which is very soft. pru/bee/mick/delph are kind of??? childhood sweethearts?? but they’re still figuring it out in their twenties so we’ll see where that goes. in the ethan’s gf au, liam n fern probs known each other as teenagers n she was always at rehearsals. love a throwback. childhood scully n mulder might’ve been way different, she would’ve actually believed back then. 

who initiates taking a bath together?: gonna devote this solely to romy/molly and pru/bee bc my gay ass wants f/f bath time together. for pru and bee, it’s cute but they gotta keep their voices low and it’s like that scene in friends when monica has to hide under the bubbles bc joey walks in, and mimi n moises are probably joey. romy and molly have wine and make a night of it 

who likes who playing with their hair?: DID WE NOT ALREADY DISCUSS THIS ABOVE SMH 

[davidfosterwallaceandgromit]

@astermacguffin​ hello good evening. So, here’s my concept: 11x14 The Vessel, teleplay by mr. bobo berens, BUT no angel warding on the submarine, Casifer stays with Dean to find the Hand of God. He has to play Cas for an extended period of time, in close quarters, while Dean wears a Navy outfit. Shenanigans ensue.

So obviously Casifer is fun bc Lucifer is privy to Cas’s gay thoughts. And i enjoy the “*puppydog eyes* Dean…” impression greatly. AND he also (three episodes earlier, before they find out it’s not Cas) puts his hand on Dean’s shoulder for no reason while in shirtsleeves, because Lucifer likes to make men uncomfortable by acting bluntly gay (not a Mark Pellegrino acting choice i am wild about). All that business makes me think about how much worse Lucifer could have made life for both Cas AND Dean if the fancy struck him. I don’t think he would, just because he simply doesn’t care about other people’s problems. (In “Rock Never Dies,” Berens has him sum up the Cas possession experience with: “I know what a weak, duty-bound, pleasureless dullard you are.” Someone who lives for the drama, such as Crowley, might prod these qualities of Cas’s just to make him uncomfortable, but Lucifer just doesn’t give a shit.)

So. The Vessel. What if the Vessel but no angel warding, and Casifer does stay on the submarine, and do the secret away mission with Dean? Cas, sharing the mindscape with Lucifer, would have a TORRENTIAL mental freakout about a. putting Dean in danger and b. staring at Dean in a Navy outfit. Dean meanwhile is realizing that something is up with Cas—but not soon enough.

One last thing you should know about The Vessel is this—it is a (much messier) rewrite of The X-Files episode 6x03 “Triangle.” Triangle is a CLASSIC and completely chaotic episode of xfiles: Mulder goes looking for a ship that disappeared in the Bermuda Triangle in 1939, just at the outbreak of WWII. Instead of finding the ship, he gets sent back in time TO the ship. He tries to blend in but gets caught immediately (familiar?), then the Nazis board the ship searching for a weapon called “Thor’s Hammer” (sounding familiar??), which the ship’s captain is willing to die to protect… etc etc. BUT: Triangle is iconic for being THEE first onscreen [semi canon, bc time travel reasons] mulder/scully kiss AND their first “i love you” [canon bc it’s back in present day]

So with all that in mind. I think I can reconstruct the first draft that exists on mr berens’s hard drive. 

“THE VESSEL 1.0″

They zap back to the submarine. No warding, no problem. To avoid detection, Casifer turns invisible, but Dean has to hide. (Dean, from under the bunk: “Can’t you make me invisible too?” Casifer: [Mark Pellegrino shrug from across the room].) Dean takes care of most of the action, while Casifer follows and is mostly just invisible and unhelpful. In this version, Dean steals a uniform without knocking anyone out, so he can evade detection for longer. Also, when Dean talks to the navy guy and fumbles the whole, “she’s a hottie. uh I mean. the gams on that gal!” conversation, Cas[ifer] is standing there watching, which is probably fun. for Cas.

So they’re looking for the Hand of God on the sub together. Dean starts to pick up on something, bc Casifer seems to just find him annoying—instead of charming/exasperating, the two typical Cas reactions to Dean’s behaviors—and he is doing an increasingly poor job of hiding it. 

Dean starts to think something is truly up after he gets apprehended, and Cas just... stands there and doesn’t help. Then the captain puts Dean in the brig and questions him, etc, plot stuff.

Once they’re alone again, Cas reappears and Dean turns on him and is like, “What the hell? Can you just turn me invisible next time?” and Casifer is like, “I can’t do it unless we’re touching.” So Dean is like sure whatever hold my hand Thelma i don't care, just help me get out of here.

Casifer breaks Dean out of the brig. Lucifer has to operate without using any of the angel powers Cas has lost, like flying, which is annoying Lucifer almost as much as Dean is. By this point, he really would like to get the weapon and zap home, but the dame told Dean where to find the Hand of God, and when Casifer is like “where?” dean’s like “just follow me,” and won’t elaborate. So Lucifer rolls his eyes and follows Dean down the narrow little hallway. And that’s when they spot the Nazi ship up above, and all the alarms start blaring. 

Now we’re freaking out, Casifer’s like we’re running out of time, Dean, we should just go back [thinking: and then I’ll come back and get it ALONE, so I can use my damn angel powers], and Dean’s all no, we need it to defeat Amara —Lucifer is truly now at his limit—when they hear shouting behind them, and there’s nowhere to hide, so Dean’s like, they’re coming! invisible me, dude! zap me! zap me! So Casifer kisses him. As soon as their lips touch, boom, invisible. and the navy guys run by. and then as soon as the guys are gone, Casifer pulls away and they un-invisible, and without a second look he walks off, leaving Dean leaning against the bulkhead like. Um...

Later, when Dean realizes, oh, this is Lucifer, it’ll be too late to ask him what the fuck was up with that. Would he ask, even if he had the chance? I don’t know. But, like, oh, of course, it was just Lucifer... causing problems... trying to distract me... being Lucifer. No need to dwell on it. 

As the audience, we would never know the effect this has on Cas. I think if I was Cas, after that, I would pack it in and go watch TV in the bunker kitchen in my mind.

i deserved a motw ep where ambiguous monster either a) shifted into cas and hit on dean b) possessed cas and hit on dean c) showed dean his greatest fantasy (it’s cas) or d) love spelled dean up to no effect because dean has been encasing those boxes in concrete and throwing them to the bottom of the ocean for decades

[ghostbustermelanieking]

I also hate how it is must be that if a character loves/is in love with Scully, they'd have a resentment against Mulder like isn't it boring after a while and why do they need to act like her big protector vs the bad guy Mulder whom she chose to be with like???? No wonder she feels uncomfortable AF and no longer trusts Skinner.

i honestly think mitch pileggi might’ve been joking and tvline took it seriously. bc its so inconsistent honestly! a.) its been 25 fucking years and this is just now showing up?! i don't buy it. how is it JUST NOW coming into play, when the world's ending and skinner just so happens to be hanging w csm? b.) over time skinner has cared for mulder just as much as scully. like, he comforts mulder when scully is dying? he won't let mulder go to csm, and goes to him himself? he literally bawls when mulder gers abucted? and digs him up when he might be alive and like fights against the krycek nanobot thingies so scully won't have to pick between mulder and william? (or whatever happens in s8.) literally shows up to hunt him down and cuddles him in iwtb? and yet he has enough animosity for mulder to, like, fight him in the hospital right in front of scully? i don't buy it. (and i hate that trope as much as scully would.) i automatically thought that the fight was about skinner hanging w csm, whatever reason that might be. that makes more sense than some love triangle bullshit coming to the surface after 25 years of strong friendship. in the middle of another plot that makes way more sense as to why they'd be brawling like that. (maybe mulder would react that way, but skinner?) 

i dunno. it doesn't make sense and it pisses me off. i can buy skinner having a long time crush on scully but not the literal fighting over it. and if that's really what's going on, i can't wait for scully to kick their asses. 

[landofquartzandmelody]

ok i finished hiveswap act 1 lmao. i actually liked most of it a lot i think? and there’s a lot to talk about and there’s also a few things which were like.. Incredibly annoying. my overall impression was good tho! i’m going to dump my thoughts under a readmore though so no one accidentally gets spoiled

obvious warning for that !!

the setting is actually incredibly detailed and i occupied myself for a long time clicking on everything in the background? the art was really pretty and the actual gameplay itself was really smooth and not glitchy at all.

the video cutscenes didn’t play for me at all lmao. I had a few tabs of text-only websites open, and join.me, and that was it. i couldn’t easily lower the settings to make it run smoother either? which was really annoying, and i don’t see why the cutscenes were sooo much harder for my computer to get through than the actual gameplay.

the only other glitch i had was a framing glitch in jude’s treehouse i think

i liked most of the puzzles a lot and it all seemed very organic and fun. using items on other items was pretty cool, and i only got stuck like once or twice.

i really did not like the snake game mainly because i had to swap to using my keyboard for that and that alone lmao.

the monster fights were REALLY fun, i thought. they had a really classic homestuck feel.

it was kind of hard to walk up and down the stairs, actually. there wasn’t enough room to click where you needed to go and that was a bit irritating

i really really really loved the harleyclaire mansion!! everything about the first part of the game was REALLY good!!!

there’s so much to get into with jake and joey and jude and anna claire that it’s nuts tbh. but i really liked everything about that. imo it dealt with parental issues in a lot more depth than hs ever did, and surprisingly nuanced parental issues is definitely an hs thing. but joey’s problems with jake are a lot more fleshed out and realistic.

definitely one of the themes is that the adults in joey’s life have never been there for her. her mom isn’t there because she’s dead, roxy isn’t ‘there’ because she’s irresponsible and is already developing drinking problems, and jake isn’t there because he’s always been somewhere else. so there’s something interesting when xefros talks about parents there

i think i was expecting jake to be a decent father so i was definitely really sad when it became obvious that he was kind of.. not? and it’s evident that he’s really screwed joey up, but i think that it’s also very in line with how canon portrays jake. like his biggest flaw was being unwilling to put in the emotional work and commitment that his friends needed.

sometimes he was definitely scared of those, so i can easily conceive of jake taking the easy way out and heading out to trawl the pacific for a meteor baby.

the line about how ‘having a second thing which is sort of like the first thing but somewhere else is exactly the same as having the first thing’

it’s interesting that jade and joey both do the same thing by projecting on their dead guardians. jade’s thinking is a lot more magical than joey’s, but it really shines a light on how everything we assumed about grandpa harley was through the eyes of a girl who never really got to know him.

and like he died well before he could disappoint her, so.

it was REALLY really sad but i don’t think i actually have a problem with it.

part of the reason i don’t have a problem with it is bc it made joey claire’s characterization SO much more compelling

because she’s very angry at her father for doing the things he did, and is openly disparaging about him, and even chooses to use her mother’s last name instead of his? but she’s not angry or hard or bitter

i love my hard trauma girls but it’s really nice that joey just gets kinder and better in the face of a childhood full of neglect- without being pushed to forgive or minimize the damage that was done to her

the detail about joey absolutely refusing to use guns because she doesn’t want to be like her dad, and choosing to love animals and heal them was so good. and how that’s framed as an act of rebellion?

like the idea that kindness can be radical but that =/= forgiveness.

we didn’t see a lot of jude but i loved everything about him so much

like it was pretty subtle so i don’t know if y’all would consider it ‘canon’ but the bit where joey says that ‘when things got bad with my brother, our babysitter took him to see a doctor, and he was better for a while’ seems like it’s saying joey is being treated for a mental illness of some sort?

which seems completely in line with his character! he almost falls into the trap where it’s like ‘we all called this person crazy for seeing all these conspiracies but he was right all along’ but he doesn’t and that’s nice. it’s very subtle and pretty respectful imo. (also, fox mulder)

he and joey are the cutest siblings in the entire universe, and he was so sweet to her. he seems very earnest about wanting to protect her and caring about her.

the part where his birds left him made me SOOOO SAD. it was so sad. i felt so bad for him. I named dammek’s catdeer Frohike to pay my respects even though frohike was the worst gunman.

i’m really worried about him tho. i hope he’ll be okay without joey around

joey claire is such an obvious lesbian

honestly i know a lot of people were nervous because it seemed like it was setting her up to have a relationship with xefros but i absolutely don’t think that’s the case, just because she’s definitely gay.

every time she looked at a picture of a girl in the harleyclaire mansion she had one gay thought or another, and her entire room was plastered completely in images of pretty girls. not ONE guy.

there was also a lot of dialogue which implied she felt guilty or ashamed of how she felt when looking at girls, or like she wasn’t sure if she was allowed to, or if people would judge her for having pretty pictures of girls on her walls.

also her password being the name of a boy she has certainly never met or talked to, and who we never saw an image of (despite said guy being an actor? i think) or heard mentioned before

the scene where xefros mentions he is a boy who likes boys and joey is like ‘oh. huh’ seems to me like it’s very obviously from the pov of a lesbian who had absolutely no idea what a lesbian is, or that she is allowed to be one. 

i think joey is definitely going to realize she is gay at some point in the future acts

i didn’t expect to like or care about xefros as much as i did?

he was obnoxious at first but basically as soon as we figured out what was up with dammek and that xefros thought he’d been speaking to dammek he became 100% less annoying and i started liking him a lot lmao.

he and joey had a really sweet friendship, actually.

homestuck breezed over a lot of the more horrible things about troll civilization, but hiveswap did a very good job of making it patently obvious how horrible troll civilization is for xefros and other lowbloods, and i think it has a redeeming effect on the Other Stuff.

i like that they made it obvious what’s happening is horrible and needs to like, stop or whatever, and don’t like... condemn the revolutionaries.

his situation isn’t really played for laughs or mocked.

that being said a lot of the writing for dammek was really really annoying and dumb.

people like dammek definitely exist and i think hiveswap does a faaairly decent of not conflating dammek being a shithead with the rest of the movement? the joke about personal property was very very annoying lmao but the movement itself is portrayed as legitimate and necessary. it’s a dumb reactionary type of joke but it doesn’t ruin the game for me

i do think he’s going to Learn To Be A Better Person while he’s hanging out with jude. i don’t think he’s going to get a vriska type arc at all but i do think he’ll learn the error of his ways.

i wish that we’d gotten to see a bit more of his personal motivation for being so intense about revolution.

i ALSO wish they hadn’t used like actual symbols of movements in the bg that was really annoying and crass imo. and if they had to, i wish xefros had had an anarchist flag or whatever.

abuse / neglect are big themes in hs so i’m not really surprised at all that they came back? they definitely shouldn’t have advertised dammek and xefros as being cute moirails though because it’s kind of scummy to do a bait and switch like that.

i don’t think the game’s going to be hetero though. xefros and joey would be incredibly ugly and i doubt it’ll happen

i also think homestuck the original thing is actually pretty on the nose about class stuff, even if it does feel the need to like couch that in Fake Alien Racism? at the very least i’d be surprised if hiveswap tried to pull the You’re The Same As Your Oppressors thing

i’m still annoyed that there was so much promo art of xefros and dammek being cute together when the actual game condemned every interaction they had. i think that it would have been possible to say the same things as they wanted to while also not making dammek a crazy leftist stereotype and grounding him in reality like a real person.

to be fair, we are going to get a sequel game with him, so he’ll probably be fleshed out a LOT better then.

trizza is somehow so much more evil than expected? how evil she is feels a lot more real than like, the condesce, tbh. she feels like a real person

i’m SUPER curious about cridea now and i can’t wait to see what she’ll be like

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

Okay, but Tempus Fugit/Max and the birthday arc 🥺

What’s your thoughts about “I didn’t know it was your birthday” and then two seconds later “oh, here’s a gift I wrapped especially for you that just happens to be in my pocket.”? Think it’s along the same lines as “I stole these flowers from the guy down the hall” when he actually came flying through the front doors clutching them for dear life?

Also, Mulder grinning with that straw between his teeth should be illegal. He looks like an impish kid I can’t even 🤣

HDNZBZJZNSJS Tempus Fugit/Max my beloved- i don't usually have as much fondness for the mytharc as I do for the rest of the show overall, but the season 4 mytharc is absolutely my favorite. there's just *something* about it that I'm obsessed with (which is a whole other rant lol). and I love that you call it the birthday arc 🥺 can I steal that?

ok but I have gone off about the "I got you something :D" scene so many times in tags on gifsets and such actually. like it's SUCH a cute scene and Scully's awkward expressions are super relatable but at the same time there's this very very deep bittersweetness to it all bc it is, of course, smack in the middle of the cancer arc.

tbh I'm decently certain that Mulder has always (or at least since around s2) known when Scully's birthday is but just. they never make a big deal out of it?? like that kind of thing... isn't their kind of thing (this entire opinion is prob influenced by the various fanfics I've read lol, but I kinda adopted the meta as well). but he DOES know when her birthday is, he just doesn't bring attention/celebrate it for her, ya know?

until 19-heckin-97. until she is dying. until, and this seems very typical of them in general, it's her last birthday. and no, that doesn't mean he's accepted that she Is Going To Die, but it means- there's more weight to it. and if worst does come to worst no matter how hard he fights it, he doesn't want to let her die thinking he didn't care enough to remember her birthday. so: Tempus Fugit/Max. a Snowball with a sparkler instead of a candle, and a dorky little gift. it all means a lot more than it seems to anyone else tbh and that just GETS ME

(as you can tell since I'm waxing poetic about it right now 😂)

also that bit you mentioned from Memento Mori — aahnfndjxnxdjsns it's SO ADORABLE and so bittersweet and so THEM. I've said it a few times in tags about that scene: he makes a point to try to make her laugh, and she does, and he forces a smile too. if they can smile for each other, there's a chance everything can be okay. and I may be looking too hard but I think I can reasonably say that like- okay Mulder is ALWAYS trying to make Scully smile, he's just like that. but I think he tries especially hard during this arc; they're both Struggling, it's hard, they can't figure out how to balance what's happening with their partnership and relationship, but he continually tries SO HARD to make her smile or laugh — and when she does, he absolutely lights up. it's adorable

SHZJDNDKSK and YEAH his big dorky grin with that straw in his mouth, like yeah there's the angst in the background and yes both of them are very aware that there is a Reason he's finally gotten her a gift this year (Scully's comment about alien implants strikes me as her way of backhandedly calling him out for it; she never wants him to treat her any differently bc of her cancer, except for like. I mean on some level she DOES but not always in the way it ends up, if that makes sense) but!! he's celebrating his absolute favorite person in the world and just for a minute everything is okay, she makes awkward faces when everybody sings the birthday song (Mulder singing "special agent Dana Scully" instead of just "happy birthday dear Dana" is like. there's always That One Person at every birthday party, right?) and for a minute it's about as normal as they could ever pull off — he loves her, and he is happy to be with her. same principle as the way he looks at her in Unruhe, actually--

......also the lighting of that scene is v good, I kinda love it

[peppered-imps]

@mulderspice “stan kaitlyn mulderspice instead” you’re so funny omg 😂

Okay so I definitely feel you. I personally don’t take the Agents of Chaos book to be canon just bc there’s so much txf literature and almost all of it takes place in various universes, so for me it’s just an extension of the series but not necessarily true. You get me?

That being said, Teena definitely definitely definitely could’ve been a better mother. Especially after Samantha. But I also think that, for a variety of reasons, she was almost incapable. Some traumas just break you and you take a long long time to put yourself back together. I don’t really think Teena was ‘whole’ before she married Bill and that her relationship with him (and especially whatever happened between her and CSM) really wore away at her until she was barely put together. (I mean, clearly there’s some mental health issues that run in the family and we also see that suicidal tendencies appear to be hereditary, re: Gethsemane and Sein Und Zuit).

I think she sought solace and found joy in her kids but Samantha being taken, for such selfish and horrible reasons, was the proverbial straw that broke her back. I think she distanced herself from Mulder but not necessarily bc she didn’t love him or bc she didn’t care, but bc she literally didn’t know what to do. I don’t think she knew how to care for herself either. I think divorcing Bill was her one way she thought she could seize some control back but was ultimately haunted. I think she, at the absolute very least, sees what her neglect did to Mulder and regrets it. But I think after 20-some years, the unconscious habit of distancing herself and being mentally wrecked really doesn’t allow her to fix it the way she should.

I always cringe at the slap in Demons. It always gave me pause. But recall also, if you will, her terror and relief in The Blessing Way when Mulder returns. And in Paperlcip, when Mulder asks her if Bill made her choose, how she said she couldn’t choose, how it was all Bill, and how viscerally she responded with her hatred of him for doing what he did and ended up sobbing in Mulder’s arms.

I don’t think she knew as much about it all as a lot of people seem to think. And I think whatever she may have known, she blocked out in those early days after the abduction. And when Mulder is dredging up these traumas, she responds with reluctance or hostility bc she knows how it’s affected her (“don’t do this to me” she says). Is that selfish? In regards to her motherhood, hell yeah. She failed Mulder in a mega way for seemingly not considering how these things affected him. But I do think she felt genuine remorse for it.

a poll, of sorts

I’ve always been super curious about all the teena mulder hate in the fandom and I’d love to hear your opinions and reasonings as to why she’s terrible. so, if you feel so inclined, please leave your thoughts in the notes, tags, reblogs, or send them to me in an ask or message! I’m so genuinely curious and have been wanting to ask for a long time.

and in addition, let me know your thoughts on bill mulder, too, if you have any.

[masterthespianduchovny]

I posted 11,256 times in 2021

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#the only way such a scene would make sense was if there friendship had been played up before then and then there was a chasm between them

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

I’m not even exaggerating when I say Mulder is undervalued as a character.

However you view David’s skill as an actor, he took a character who should not work and made Mulder someone viewers loved and cared for. We were like Scully, Mulder sounded not grounded to us at first, and then we get to meet him and entertain his ideas. We want to see if they’re true or not and how true.

Mulder is so caring and sympathetic to victims, monsters, and those who were framed as both. He’s the first to sympathize with a victim and the first to see humanity in a monster.

This man spent a chunk of his life looking for his sister who was abducted in front of his eyes. He has so much trauma and ptsd that he has low self worth, but god, does he fight on the behalf of others like hell.

People overlook all the fucking good Mulder does to call him a jerk because he isn’t worshipping the ground Scully walks on 24/7. Mulder isn’t allowed to be flawed or human. Moments that I can’t deny that Mulder was a jerk: queequeg’s death, beginning of never again, the Diana situation, and maybe a few others.

Mulder was the same guy who almost saved Scully when she was abducted, the same guy who literally almost quit his job before skinner tore up his resignation paper, he heavily considered dying for Scully as well as taking his own life, he was angry at Maggie and Melissa for giving up on Scully so fast. This all happens in a little over a year of knowing Scully.

Then when Scully comes back, Mulder looked out for her well-being and wasn’t trying to force her to work. He wouldn’t have even blamed her for transferring. Later on in the same season, he literally traded someone who he believed was his long lost sister FOR Scully.

Mulder also has tender moments with Scully that aren’t cancer arc related or a major life event.

Yet, his bad moments with Scully are the ones that define him. Yet, people find time to over exaggerate shit and take it out of context all while ignoring Scully’s shit bc she’s “long suffering.”

Like, Christ, I’m tired of reading this shit every few months bc someone has a major Scully slant and thinks Mulder exists just to please Scully.

He’s his own fucking person:

And let’s not forget: MULDER LITERALLY TREATS SCULLY BETTER THAN ANY ONE ELSE PROFESSIONALLY, GENERALLY SPEAKING, AND SINCERELY THOUGHT SHE COULD’VE RISEN UP IN THE RANKS AT THE FBI.

There is no bigger fan of Scully than Mulder and he’d be the first to tell anyone she deserved a better career than being stuck in the basement.

People love to talk about how hot, goofy, and in love with Scully Mulder is, but he’s a pretty great fucking person on his own merit.

Just like Scully gave up a career, Mulder did too. Mulder had so much professional capital he probably could’ve been an AD at a younger age then skinner. He probably could’ve been a director. People truly forget just how smart, how charming, and how good at his job Mulder could be when it came to the political stuff. It’s not that Mulder can’t do it, he refused to. His superiors are angry at him being in the basement because of how god damn talented he was. In case anyone forgot: Scully was assigned to debunk Mulder’s work to get him back into the mainstream at the FBI. You don’t do that for an average ass worker.

And Mulder didn’t just throw away his careers to chase monsters, he cared about the victims. If not him (before Scully), then who? No one cared or took them seriously. And Mulder had to find cases, prove their merits to be investigated on the FBI dime, and then fight for them throughout the case and after. Mulder was constantly advocating for others.

And he’s written off by some for being a jerk at times??? I need people to please review Mulder’s backstory, and then take a closer look at the fucked up shit that happened during the show and honestly say that most of Mulder’s behavior isn’t understandable. His critics be saying like his behavior is unfounded or always on 10. Like, no, y’all only focus on the uncommon shit, and then make it something it isn’t.

Some may think I’m full of shit, exaggerating, or I have a point, but not a strong one, consider this: why is Mulder constantly criticized and called a jerk by some because he wasn’t super supportive during Scully’s pregnancy as if he wasn’t literally abducted and buried alive for months? As if Mulder hadn’t just gone than an indescribably traumatic ordeal and doesn’t know how to process it. Sure, Mulder was a jerk, but wouldn’t you say that the reason why is fucking important? It’s not right that how he behaved at times, but how would anyone of us deal with such a situation?

People going through personality changes over less dire situations, but Mulder can’t be a little jerkish just because Scully’s pregnant???

Okay. 😒

228 notes • Posted 2021-06-02 03:51:51 GMT

#4

I love how people always talk about how Harry made good choices unlike Snape despite his abuse.

As some Snape fans like to quote Mia from “Little Fires Everywhere”, Harry didn’t make good choices, he was given good choices.

This may sound weird to say because of his background, but let’s think about this.

Snape came from a background of poverty, which stayed with him even at Hogwarts. We see examples of his bullying referencing his dingy clothes. Making him feel further shame for something he couldn’t control.

Comparatively, Harry came into a shit ton of money when he turned 11. He could afford to buy new things and not rely on secondhand things, which people would tease him for. Also, even though the weasleys were poor, I think Snape was poorer than that.

How often have we’ve seen teachers come to the aid of Harry, where as we’ve never seen any teacher come to the aid of Snape despite him being flat out bullied. Snape couldn’t rely on even the teachers to protect him. How often did Harry run to a teacher when something was wrong because HE KNEW they’d have his back. Hell, he even went to Snape for this reason when it came to sirius.

Friends. Harry’ s friends had his back no matter what. He could make mistakes and be forgiven for them. He could be mean and use dark magic, which he did, and not framed as a bad person and unworthy of being redeemed/forgiven. Where as every mistake Snape made was held against him (I’m referring to before the mudblood incident) and used as further evidence as to how Snape is bad and evil.

People might try to say how “it’s different” why Harry behaved the way he did and did what he did, but is it really?

Snape was constantly bullied with no one to turn to and almost killed because he was poor, moody, and existed. How does that not put anyone on edge? Both he and Harry faced different stressors that put them on edge.

However, Snape never blindly used dark magic and almost accidentally killed someone. In school, the worst thing Snape ever did was call lily a mudblood. But how dare he create spells to protect himself when four students attack him. Whether or not remus and Peter jumped in, how was Snape supposed to know they weren’t. How was Snape supposed to feel as they sat by and laughed, one of them being a prefect?

Snape had no one. And for people who want to say he had lily, even she barely defended him. Do you think Hermione would’ve bargained with draco if he had Harry hanging in the air? No, she would’ve immediately cast a spell. She wouldn’t have ever let it get that far without acting and people think lily bargaining with James is sufficient and don’t understand why half assed defense is lacking.

There are so many examples that can be given about how Harry was given better choices, Snape had to play the hand he was dealt, and then crucified for not making better choices. No wonder he was bitter when all was said and done.

263 notes • Posted 2021-03-30 20:16:30 GMT

#3

Nate clearly has self loathing issues and both an oversized ego and an inferiority complex. He made Ted a stand in father figure because he confused support and genuine care for special attention.

He’s projecting his issues with his father onto Ted because he cannot address his father himself.

I’m not sure if I’ll say he’s paranoid, but it’s interesting he assumed the play would fail—not due to sabotage—and that Ted would lay the blame on him. He’s made up issues to be mad at Ted about and that are completely unfounded.

He resents that people love Ted even during difficult times. How they have so much faith in him and would follow him.

Like this respect that literally everyone has for Ted, the players, the owner, the coaches including the great Roy Kent. To see that Ted can change people for the better and that they’re receptive to it.

And maybe Nate is upset because he realizes that Ted wasn’t giving him special attention, but just being himself. The first time he felt important, it was really Ted treating him like anyone else.

It’s fascinating that Nate rants about being ignored and abandoned all while knowing that Ted was having mental health issues. Keep in mind, this was where Nate lost respect for ted—after ted revealed he had a panic attack.

I’m interested in how Nate will redeem himself, but he truly has to take a hard look at himself and not rely on his troubled relationship with his dad and being bullied to excuse his behavior. That explains some how of how he behaved, but leaking Ted��s mental health issue, kissing Keeley, his tantrum before, during, and after the game, him abusing his power as a coach, etc—he needs to own up to all of that, be accountable, and apologize.

Akin to Jamie’s apology, but much more in-depth and fleshed out. Because at this point, even before then, Nate has done far more that he has to atone for.

Despite all that happened in this last ep, I don’t hate Nate, but I’m also not rushing to defend him. Nate has to actually show self awareness first and make the active steps to make better what he tried to destroy before I even consider defending him.

333 notes • Posted 2021-10-08 06:28:13 GMT

#2

Y’all!!!

765 notes • Posted 2021-10-08 06:40:45 GMT

#1

Trent Crimm, The Independent

What Trent did is remarkable because he did not have to do that. And look at the character arc of this minor character. From calling Ted a fucking joke to extending him a courtesy about the bomb he has to drop. Because he fucking respects Ted.

1164 notes • Posted 2021-10-01 06:47:43 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[ghostbustermelanieking]

half-light chapter 14

one /// two /// three /// four /// five  /// six /// seven /// eight /// nine /// ten /// eleven /// twelve /// thirteen

if anyone has ever wanted to read a nearly 8k plot explosion featuring characters who are, um, not mulder and scully, then this is your chapter. (two things: 1. i was halfway considering cutting this chapter bc i thought a switch in narration would break the rhythm but i ended up being glad i did because a) this was fun and b) so much important plot stuff, and 2. this may not feature mulder and scully very much but that doesn’t stop everyone from talking about them every other line so no worries. also, it was weird as shit to write scenes without one of them in it.)

fourteen.

When Samantha was little and still Samantha Mulder, she’d thought her house must be the smallest house in the world. It wasn’t true, of course - it was actually fairly big compared to the one she’d live in later - but it had seemed that way because of her brother. He’d seemed to take up so much space, running up and down the halls, bouncing basketballs off the walls and throwing baseballs through the windows (God, their dad had shouted at that one), sharp elbows jutting into her side as he’d shoved past and knocked whatever she was holding in her hands to the ground, his voice always too loud. She’d told her first mother she hated him, once, and her mother had shaken her head and said, “You shouldn’t say that, sweetheart. He might not be around someday.”

And she hadn’t believed her until she’d woken up in a strange room when she was eight, with her father’s friend smoking a cigarette, and he’d smiled and patted her on the head and told her she was very brave. “When can I go home?” she’d said. She hadn’t wanted to be brave, she wanted her bed and that stupid teddy bear Fox always made fun of and those cookies her mom made the other day (the ones she could only have one of at a time but Fox always had two and he’d probably give her two, too).

“You can’t,” the smoker said. “You have to stay here, or your mom and dad will get in a lot of trouble. You don’t want them to get in trouble, do you?”

He was using that little-kid voice grown-ups always did. Like she couldn't understand him. She scowled and kicked the end of the bed. “I guess not,” she said. “But what about Fox? Why doesn’t he have to come here?” Or maybe he was here, she thought; maybe the light had taken him, too. The last thing she remembered was him shouting her name, the way he had when she’d fallen into the deep part of the lake before she could swim. (He’d yanked her out by her arm, and they’d both gotten yelled at for being irresponsible and had to stay in the house for the rest of the day, and her arm had hurt but he hadn’t called her a baby when she complained about it.)

Her father’s friend had gotten a funny look on his face. He sat for a minute before saying, "Your brother is... gone."

"Gone," she'd repeated. "Like... like how I'm gone?"

"No," her father's friend said solemnly, taking a drag on his cigarette.

Samantha had gotten a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach. This reminded her of the time her cat had died. "Gone like... dead?"

The smoker nodded.

The sick feeling increased, and she thought she might throw up. She slithered down under the covers and pulled the sheet over her head. "I'll let you rest," the smoker said, patting her head again through the blankets. His shoes clicked on the linoleum. Samantha pressed her face into the scratchy pillowcase and tried not to cry. And then she remembered when Fox had called her a baby whenever she cried and she couldn't help it then, so she sobbed quietly into the pillow.

Everything had seemed a lot bigger, from then on. Like the universe would just swallow her up.

***

Right after the gunshots had stopped, Samantha had heard the screeching of tires on the pavement. She popped up out of the bushes and yelled, "Scully!", even though it was a stupid thing to do. It didn't matter, anyway, because judging by the blank look on Scully's face as she sped away, she was under the control of the chip.

Her gun still lay out on the pavement, and Samantha lunged for it. (Her second father, Max, had taught her how to shoot a gun when she turned seventeen: "I think it's an important skill to have, with our lives," he'd said. By which he’d meant the restrictions and annual abductions. They'd given her a gun for her eighteenth birthday, and she'd carried it until the day the Syndicate had caught her, somewhere in California.) She scooped the gun up, clutching it between her palms, and scrambled to her feet, stumbling a little as she stood.

"Run away from home?" said the familiar sinewy voice from her childhood. The smoker stepped out from a car, the gun that was probably the one shooting at them dangling from his fingers.

Rage bubbling up inside her, Samantha aimed the gun. "You bastard. What the hell were you trying to do?"

"Send a message," he said calmly. "I was hoping Agent Scully would run out of rounds and surrender. I didn't expect her chip to snap into effect that quickly. I expected it to be a few hours, at least, before she’d be headed for her abduction site. It’ll probably be a few hours before you do, though."

She squeezed the gun barrel, looking for some composure. "You knew that her chip was going to call her?" she said incredulously. "How? You don’t control the chips! And Scully wasn’t one of your hand picked abductees.”

"She wasn’t. We suspected, though. We've been tracking the extraterrestrials' movements, and they're touching down at most of the abduction sites this week. But this time, we're going to be ready for them." He paused ominously, pulling a pack of cigarettes out of his chest pocket with his free hand.

"You're going to destroy them," Samantha said, realizing. Start a damn war that they couldn’t win. How fucking stupid were they, they didn’t know anything about the aliens. They would be demolished. It would be like every alien apocalypse movie ever, except no one would have any idea how to fight back because no one knew anything about the aliens. Because it was all classified. Goddamnit, the irony in this one was rich. Her brother would love it.

"Destroy or be destroyed," the smoker said cheerfully, lighting his cigarette. “This charade has gone on long enough. We’re ready for it all to be over.”

Samantha felt the burn in her neck that she's been feeling since she was eight. Fuck, if she was called, there wouldn't be any way for her to get away and find Fox and Scully. "So why are you coming after me?" she snapped. "What does it matter if I've escaped? I think I've more than served my time. Over twenty-three years of my goddamn life." (She started when she realized that twenty-three years was how long Scully had said their NDE was.)

"We need to keep your father in place," the smoker said. "At least until this - hopefully brief - war is over."

Everyone thinks a war is going to be brief until they start it, Samantha thought. You’ll destroy the world in your wake. Who are you to make these kinds of decisions without authorization? "That's bullshit."

"Whether it is or it isn't, I'm afraid we need you for just a little bit longer." The smoker raised his gun.

There was the click of a gun being cocked, and her first mother stepped behind him, holding a gun to his head. She was wearing a coat over her damn nightgown, flapping in the wind, and she looked like a little girl playing at being a grown-up. Samantha shivered. She had a lot of pent-up resentment for her parents, both of them. But now she was torn between yelling at her mother and running up to hang off of her like a little kid. "Mom," she said.

"Teena…?" The smoker tried to turn around. She pressed the barrel of the gun hard into his cheek. Her hand was shaking; her mom had always been terrified of guns. Her father keeping one in the house, even in a locked box (that had only made things worse when their son was trying to save their daughter from aliens), had spurned what had seemed like a thousand of their millions of arguments. Samantha was surprised she'd even picked one up, much less pointed it at someone.

"You’ve betrayed this family enough," her mother said.  She addressed Samantha: "Are you alright, sweetheart?"

Samantha lowered Scully's gun as well. "Fine," she said. She'd dealt with worse, actually.

Sirens wailed in the distance. Of course someone had called the fucking police; gun battles don't go unnoticed, especially in the middle of a neighborhood. When the Syndicate had found her in a little cafe in California, they’d staged an arrest so as not to attract too much attention. Samantha tried not to let her hands shake, swallowing hard. Solitary confinement terrified her.

“We need to go,” her mother said. The smoker tried to say something, and she whacked him, hard, in the back of the head. He slumped to the ground, unconscious. Samantha gaped at her; she’d never known her mother could do anything like this. “Come on, sweetheart,” her mother said. “We need to leave before the police get here.”

With no other choice, she clutched Scully’s gun in her hand and ran after her, around the block to where her mother had left her car so fast that her lungs burned.

"Where's Dana?" her mother asked when they got in the car.

"Chip. She left." (She realized only later that her mother might know about the chips, but she didn't care.)

Her mother nodded. Her eyes were a little wild, and she was breathing just as hard as Samantha, if not worse. "And you don't know where Fox is?"

"We couldn’t ask. Dad wasn't there, I think," Samantha said, chewing her lip. She didn't know if that was a good sign or a bad sign. She didn't know if she cared. "Did you follow us?"

"Yes," she said simply, and didn't elaborate.

They drove without talking any more for a minute; Samantha had absolutely no idea where they were going. Or what her next move needed to be. There was really only one logical option, though. "I need to borrow some money, Mom," she said. "I need to rent a car and drive back to DC." Her mother opened her mouth, assumedly to protest, and she snarled, "I need to go and save your son."

Her mother's jaw clenched, but she nodded. They drove to a nearby car rental place in silence where she paid for a car and set aside some money for gas.

"Thank you," Samantha said awkwardly when they exited the building. She didn't know what else to say. She had nothing to say and everything to say, and this didn't seem like the time. She needed to save her brother.

"Will you be careful, sweetheart?" her mother said.

A lump built up in her throat. "I will," she said. "I promise." She hugged her mother briefly and kissed her papery cheek. "You be careful, too," she added. She was surprised at her mother's methodicalness, her calm in doing this. Maybe she’d learned something from years with her father, from whatever her relationship was to the smoker (because Samantha sure as hell knew there had been more than wife of business colleague and business colleague).

"You've grown so much," her mother said, smoothing back a wild strand of hair. "I wish I'd been there to see it."

Samantha tried not to cry as she walked away, car keys cutting into her sweaty palm.

***

She'd learned to drive at the normal time, but had to wait to get her license until after she'd gone to college. (Permission by the Syndicate; it was close by so they could watch her. She'd failed several classes because of her abductions.) Still, she likes driving. After she had left her mother to deal with the police, she'd driven back to Scully's sister's house methodically in a new-smelling old-looking rental. She turned the radio all the way up to drown out her thoughts.

It didn't work, completely. Her thoughts kept turning back to Fox. The fact that her twelve-year-old brother had grown up seemed absolutely foreign to her, let alone the fact that he'd become an FBI agent who had apparently spent years looking for her, who went by Mulder, and had a badass wife who he called Scully, and carried a gun. She couldn't stop picturing the kid who'd teased her and had said, Get out of my life, right before she... well, had. (Which, she didn't resent him for. She remembered being twelve, quiet and moody and angry at the world. And it was hard to resent him for anything when she'd thought him dead.)

She bought a pocket knife in Pennsylvania, when she stopped to get gas, and considered cutting out the chip in the backseat of the rental car. She was terrified she would be called. But then again, there was a lot more risk, driven by the fact that she couldn’t actually see what she was doing, and she still wasn’t sure what taking out the chip would do to her. And if she bled out in Pennsylvania because she cut too deep or in the wrong place, she wouldn’t be able to find Fox and Scully. So in the end, she dropped the pocket knife in her pocket, in case she lost the gun, and kept on driving, waiting for a hallucination to overtake her. But none did.

Somehow, she managed to find Melissa's house. It was getting dark when she got there, stars streaking over the sky, and she felt limp, exhausted. She hadn't slept well since before her second parents died, before she went on the run and was held captive and went on this crazy search for her brother. (She certainly hadn’t slept well the night before, tossing and turning in the strange bed, worrying about her not-dead brother and the Syndicate finding them and seeing her mother again.)

Melissa paled when she opened the door."Samantha?" she said, frantic. "Where's Dana?"

"She's, um," Samantha said awkwardly.

A man appeared behind Melissa. "The chip?" he asked knowingly.

He didn't particularly look like a member of the Syndicate - the fuckers always wore suits, and he was wearing worn jeans and a t-shirt, apart from the fact that his eyes were the same as Melissa’s and Scully’s - so Samantha nodded. "The chip forced her to leave," she said apologetically. "I'm so sorry. There was nothing I could do.”

Melissa groaned, a pallor that made her look vaguely sick to the stomach coming over her. The man looked just as panicked at her words. "Shit," she muttered fiercely, rubbing her temple with one hand. "Shit, um… Come on in, Samantha. Charlie, this is Dana’s boyf- I mean husband's sister. Samantha, this is my brother, Charlie. He's apparently also an abductee." She sounded like someone who had just experienced an incredibly long day, bitter and angry. (Samantha knew the feeling.)

"You're an abductee?" Charlie asked. Samantha nodded. "Take out your chip," he said in a rush. "It won't hurt you."

"It won't?"

"I've had mine out for years and been fine," he said. "And apparently, there's a war about to start, and abductees are the bait. According to my father, at least. He has connections or some shit."

"That's what I've heard," she said. "I don't suppose either of you are also doctors?"

"No," Melissa said miserably. "That's Dana’s forte."

"I took mine out," Charlie said. "I can do it safely. I'll help you."

The chip was burning again. Samantha tried to focus. "Fox and Scully," she said. "Er, Dana. How do we save them? From what you're saying and what I’ve heard, it sounds like they're going to be right in the line of fire." Melissa made a muffled sound behind her hand.

"Exactly," Charlie said grimly. "Dad said he was going to call Dana’s boss or something like that. Why, I don't know... maybe he thinks someone who heads the kind of department they're in will believe anything?"

"I can't believe this," Melissa growled. "I can't believe any of it. Well, I mean, the aliens I can believe, but what I can’t believe is you. Why would no one ever tell me? You or Dana. Does Bill know?"

"Bill doesn't know, God forbid. He only worships the ground Dad walks on," Charlie said bitterly. "Although if he's in government work, They might pull him in sooner or later. That's how They work. Dad said he never wanted to be involved, but They forced him. He's in the fucking Navy, for God's sake. What does he know about aliens? They’re fueling their bullshit cause and hurting everyone more.”

"They're going to lose," Samantha said. They both turned to look at her, and she felt studiously uncomfortable. "The Syndicate, I mean," she added. "They have no idea what the aliens are like."

Melissa looked confused, but Charlie nodded, a knowing look on his face. "That's why Dana and your brother have to get out of there," he said. "Come in here, and I'll get the chip out. Missy, do you mind if we use your couch?"

"Of course not, why would I mind blood everywhere," Melissa growled, turning away and walking down the hall. “I’m not mad at you, Samantha, by the way,” she called back over her shoulder. “Apparently my family is built on lies.”

"I’ve had over a decade to deal with this stuff, and I’m still pissed off about it, Miss. Get some cotton balls, a small knife, and a Band-Aid, would you?" Charlie called after her. "And tweezers." Samantha followed him into the living room warily. "It'll just take a small cut," Charlie said. "The chip's shallowly under the skin. It shouldn’t hurt too much. If you know what you're doing, you won't bleed all over the place. I know because I did."

"What about Fox and Scully?" Samantha asked. (She'd gotten strangely attached to her apparent sister-in-law.)

"We have to go to the place where they were first abducted," Charlie said. "That's where the chip sends them."

Samantha shook her head. "It doesn't," she said. "At least, mine didn't."

Charlie shrugged. "Maybe you were a special case."

"That would make sense." She'd been a special case, leverage for her father, and besides that, it was the best lead they had. Samantha twisted her thick hair up into a knot to expose the back of her neck. "They were abducted on their first case," she added.

"Here," Melissa said, entering the room. She passed Samantha a hair tie.

"Thanks," Samantha said, in the same slightly amazed way she had as a reflex when someone was nice to her. Captivity did something to you.

"No problem. Be careful," she said to Charlie, fiercely like she knew Samantha well.

He made a face at her - the traditional don't underestimate me look of a younger sibling. "Missy, do you where Dana’s first case was?"

She wrinkled her nose. "I don't remember."

"Some sister you are."

"Says the brother who left without a word," Melissa retorted bitterly.

Charlie turned away, looking slightly hurt, and quietly asked Samantha if she was ready.

It hurt, but it wasn't the worst pain she'd ever dealt with. She started to hallucinate just before Charlie got the chip out; it was Fox, who hadn't been featured in her hallucinations since she was ten, at least. He was still twelve, and was standing over her, hand out to help her up. "Come on," he said impatiently.

"I can't," Samantha said, closing her eyes against it.

"We've gotta go," he snapped.

"I'm not eight anymore, and you're not twelve," she said.

"We'll always be eight and twelve," he said. "Now, come on. You're going to make us late, you little pest!"

Despite herself, she smiled. Something tugged in the back of her neck, and everything went black for a moment.

When she woke up, she was propped up on Melissa's couch, the back of her neck stinging. "Are you okay?" Melissa asked, feeling her forehead with the back of her hand.

Samantha nodded, trying to remember how she ended up on a stranger's couch, letting them cut into her neck. Her brother, that was how. Maybe this was a long-winded cycle of making up for all the trouble he'd gone to looking for her. "What's our next move?" she asked.

"I thought we should go to Fox and Dana’s apartment and see if they have anything there," Melissa said. "They're weird, maybe they have a-a-a record or something. Like a photo album but for monsters. Call my parents, maybe, and see if they know where Dana’s first case was. They probably will, she was in a car accident while she was there. Or if they don't, Bill will."

"I need to go, actually," Charlie said.

Melissa stared at him with some unexplainable anger on her face. "I can't fucking believe you."

"Missy, I'm sorry," he said. "But I have a family. I have a son. I can't run into gunfire like this. I'm not an FBI agent."

Neither are we, Samantha would point out if she had any place in this conversation.

"Dad said he was calling the FBI," he added. "I'd say you getting the information is enough, you can give it to them and let them do their job."

Melissa's face was stony. "Dana is your sister," she hissed. "And you're not the only one with a family."

"What the hell does that mean? We all have families, Missy," Charlie snapped.

Melissa's face flickered, like she was considering whether or not to tell him something, and then it was stony again. "Fine. Whatever. Do what you want, Charlie."

Charlie's face softened. "Missy, I'm sorry," he added. "For a lot of things."

She nodded, and Charlie left.

Later, when they were in the car, Melissa said, "We don't need him," with a fierce, half-determined rejection. "Screw him. Dad may have been an asshole or whatever, and I'm not completely filled in on all that, and I'm sure Thanksgiving will be awkward as hell, but he shouldn't have left me and Dana without a word."

Overwhelmed, Samantha nodded silently. She could use a fucking nap.

Melissa hesitated before she added, "I thought you should know about something. Dana's pregnant."

Stunned, Samantha felt a little like she'd been hit by a truck. She'd been dragging a pregnant woman all over the country and getting her shot at? Her brother who was permanently twelve in her mind was going to be a father? Well, only if they could figure this out. Maybe they wouldn't. "Oh-okay," she stammered.

(She needed a ten-hour nap when this all was done. And an entire carton of ice cream.)

Melissa put the car into drive and rolled out of the driveway. "Dana's gonna kill me when she found out I told you," she added, fiercely, like the possibility that Scully wouldn't be able to get mad didn't exist. Like she'd read Samantha's mind. "Brace yourself."

***

"Oh," Melissa said suddenly as they reached the apartment. "Dana never gave me a key.”

Well, Samantha obviously didn't have one. "Do you have a bobby pin?" she asked.

"Oh, here." Melissa dug through her purse until she came up with one and passed it over. "You know how to pick a lock?"

"Sure," Samantha said, hunching over the doorknob, using the skills she'd taught herself as a bored ten-year-old with nothing to do on the base they'd kept her on; there had barely been any other kids there, and as nice as Max and Rose had been, it had taken them a while for them to warm up to her. (They'd been withdrawn, lost in grief from the death of her daughter, and had seen Samantha as a replacement as much as she saw them as a replacement for her first parents. They'd been happy, eventually, but it had taken a while for their wounds to heal enough to open up.)

"My brothers knew how," Melissa noted. "They used to break into my closet. They taught Dana, and she broke into theirs in revenge."

Samantha laughed. The door gave way under her hands, swinging open slowly.

As they stepped in, a footstep creaked over the floorboards, and Samantha fumbled for Scully's gun in her waistband. "Who's there?" a low voice said.

Samantha swung the gun around, the butt slipping in her sweaty hands so much she almost dropped it. The kitchen light flicked on, revealing a trio of guys standing there. "Who the hell are you?" the shortest one said.

"This is my sister's apartment," Melissa snapped. "Who the hell are you?"

"Wait, you're Scully's sister?" the one in a suit asked. "Melinda, right?"

"Melissa."

"Right, sorry. We're... friends of Mulder's," the suit said.

"Who's she? Another FBI agent?" the one with long blonde hair asked, pointing at Samantha.

They clearly weren't armed - or weren't going to shoot if they were - so Samantha lowered her gun. "I'm Fox's sister."

The three of them stared in total shock. "You're... you're Samantha?" the short one asked, finally. Samantha nodded, awkwardly. Of course they would know, if they were friends of her brother. "Holy shit," he said, quietly.

"Do you know where they are?" Melissa asked.

"We've been tracking them, actually," the suited man said. "We think they're headed to Oregon."

"That was where Mulder was headed when we tracked him down last," the short man added.

It still felt like she was following the breadcrumb trail of her brother, but never actually seeing him. Is this how he had felt, all these years, looking for her? At least now they knew where he and Scully were headed.

Out of nowhere, the blonde one snorted. "We have a Mulder and a Scully. We just have the wrong ones."

***

The three men were Frohike, Langly, and Byers, apparently called themselves the Lone Gunmen, and were conspiracy-theorists/hackers who distrusted the government exactly the right amount, if not more, which was comforting. The five of them made something of a silent pact to work together. They sat at Fox and Scully’s kitchen table and talked strategy.

"We'll need to fly out to Oregon to beat them there," Byers said. "But I'm guessing we have some time since they're driving."

"That's good," Samantha said, rubbing her eyes with her fingertips. "I need some sleep. I'm exhausted."

Melissa drummed her fingers on the table anxiously. "So we're just going to fly out there and try to keep Fox and Dana from dying? What about the other people?"

Frohike cleared his throat uncomfortably. "I don't think there's anything we can do."

"That's ridiculous," Melissa said, angrily.

Samantha touched the other woman on the shoulder. "Melissa, I've seen plenty of people who get run roughshod by these people," she said softly. "They killed my parents - the people who raised me after my abduction. They abducted our siblings. The best you can hope for, at least at the moment, is to save the people you love." That probably made her a terrible person, but she'd been fighting for years and gained.

Melissa slumped in her seat. "You three," she said, twisting her crystal choker in her fingers and looking at the Gunmen. "You're fighting them, right? You can release some evidence or something?"

"We would if we had anything substantial," Langly said, regretfully.

"We've been fighting this for years with no avail," Frohike added. "It's dangerous."

Melissa groaned, putting her head down. "This entire thing is fucked up," she mumbled.

"We know, Miss Scully," Byers said. "Believe me."

There was really nothing left to say after that. They agreed to call Fox's boss in the morning and get the location of their first case. Melissa took the bed and Samantha took the couch. The Gunmen hovered around the table, refusing to sleep, blue lights glowing in the dark kitchen. Samantha shoved her face into a throw pillow and slept the sleep of the dead.

***

When she woke up, the blonde one, Langly, was shooting her a smile that she was fairly sure was him flirting. (She had no idea why he was flirting; she had probably snored into a pillow all night. And drooled.) “Morning, sunshine,” he said cheerfully.

Frohike whacked him in the arm. “Idiot. That’s Mulder’s sister. Do you want him to murder you?”

(Samantha almost burst out laughing as she shoved the blankets away and sat up; her brother was a formless concept at this point, but she still thought the idea of him beating up his friends for flirting with her was absurd.)

“Says the man who was in love with his girlfriend,” Langly shot back with annoyance, jabbing him in the ribs.

“Shut up,” Frohike hissed, hitting him back, eyes shooting over to Melissa, who rolled her own eyes at Samantha.

“Stop it, both of you,” Byers said. “We’ve got more important things going on right now.”

To their credit, both of them managed to look embarrassed. Melissa stood from her spot at the table. “Coffee?” she asked Samantha.

“Please,” Samantha said, shoving hair out of her eyes. The two-year forced withdrawal from coffee that been miserable; she’d drank it like water before.

Melissa got out a mug from the cabinet. “I’m just picturing Fox and Dana’s reaction when they come home and discover that we’ve eaten all their food and drank all their coffee," she said, motioning spastically with her mug in a probable attempt to indicate that they'd be pissed.

“You know, it’s weird that you call them that,” Frohike commented.

“What, call my sister by her given name? I think it’s weird that you call her by her last name,” Melissa shot back.

“Her boyfriend calls her that,” Langly pointed out.

“And it’s weird.” Melissa shook the mug before settling down and pouring the dark liquid into it.

Samantha came into the kitchen, taking the mug. Secretly, she thought the entire thing was kind of weird. But not necessarily in a bad way.

A pounding knock came at the door out of nowhere. “Agent Mulder!” a man shouted through the door. “Agent Scully!”

The five of them froze in the kitchen. “Who’s that?” Melissa hissed under her breath.

“It could be someone from the FBI,” Byers replied quietly. “He called them Agents.”

Behind them, the pounding continued. The man was shouting for them to open up. It was making Samantha feel nervous, claustrophobic. Like she was back in her cell, and the walls were closing in on her.

“Or it could be a trick,” Frohike replied. “The wrong people from the FBI.”

The other four were staring at each other, completely unsure of what to do. Samantha tried to steady her breathing and not freak out.

There was a sharp sound, like kicking, and the door swung open. A large bald man came in with his gun drawn, followed by a man and woman in a similar position. The Gunmen put their hands up, quickly. Melissa dropped her mug, startled. Samantha gripped the chair in front of her and tried not to scream.

The bald man froze, staring at them. “Who the hell are you?”

“Not this again,” Langly muttered under his breath.

Melissa was the first one to speak. “I’m Dana’s - er, Agent Scully’s - sister. Are you… Walter Skinner? Her boss?”

“Yes,” the bald man said, uncertainly. Behind him, the other two agents lowered their weapons. “We got a tip that Mulder and Scully had been abducted. Do you…” He hesitated, gestured vaguely. “... all know anything about that?”

Something in Samantha’s chest released, and she felt like she could breathe again. “I’m Agent Mulder’s sister,” she said. The same surprised expression she’d gotten used to seeing dawned on Walter Skinner’s face. “I think I can fill you in.”

***

There was another awkward introduction before the brigade that was slowly growing larger and larger settled down in the living room to clear things up. (Skinner introduced the agents with him as, “Agents Doggett and Reyes. You can trust them.”) Samantha explained her experience as best she could, with the Gunmen cutting in to provide information of their own. (Byers looked nervous the entire time, keeping mostly quiet and fiddling with his tie, except to offer up information he had from a woman he refused to name.) Melissa offered up what little information she had - that her father, a Navy man, had been forced to give up his youngest son for abduction, who had eventually taken out his chip.

By the end of it, Skinner looked uncomfortable, but he also looked like he believed them. “This is ridiculous,” said the male agent, Doggett. “What proof do you have of aliens?”

“Personal experience,” Samantha said.

“We have some proof of our own, as well as of the conspiracy,” Frohike added.

Doggett turned to Skinner. “Are you buying any of this, Assistant Director?” he demanded.

Skinner looked as if he was deep in thought. “I’ve thought a lot of things Mulder and Scully have sent across my desk was bullshit,” he said. “But this… this, I can’t deny. I’ve seen too much proof of it over the years. In the people I’ve dealt with personally, and the things I’ve seen Mulder and Scully go through. I know there's a conspiracy. And with two of my best agents in danger... I can't afford to ask questions."

“You helped them get out of prison,” Byers said, seriously. “You must’ve known there was something off.”

Skinner nodded. He turned towards Samantha, addressing her directly. “Miss Mulder?”

It was still strange to be called that, after years of being a Rutherford. “Yes, sir?” she said gingerly.

“After all this is over, I’ll do my best to make sure you get justice for everything that’s happened for you,” he said. “Including the death of your caretakers. Would you be willing to testify against everything you’ve experienced?”

She had to - for her family, for revenge for her second parents. “Yes,” she said.

He nodded. “We’ll need to figure all of this out,” he said. “The conspiracy, how to expose it. But I think that’s a job that Agents Mulder and Scully will be crucial in. And for now, we need to make sure they, and hopefully nobody else, won’t die in the midst of all this." He scratched the back of his neck, uncomfortable. "You said that… these people… go back to the places where they’ve formerly been abducted?”

Samantha nodded. “From my knowledge, they’ll focus on mass abduction sites,” she said. “Was their first case a mass abduction case?”

“Yes, in Bellefleur, Oregon.” Skinner paused. “Agent Doggett, Agent Reyes, I’d like you to fly out to Bellefleur, as soon as possible.”

“Yes, sir,” Agent Reyes said immediately. Doggett looked mildly uncomfortable, but he didn’t protest.

“What are you going to be doing, sir?” Melissa wanted to know.

“Doing my best to stop all this." Skinner sighed, shaking his head. "Your father was the one to contact me, right? How much information would he have?”

“I’m not sure, but he’d help,” she said. “My brother, Charlie, could help, too. I think he’s still in town.”

"Okay," Skinner said. "Okay, I'm going to go now. Doggett, Reyes, I need you on the next flight to Oregon."

"Yes, sir," Reyes said immediately. Doggett nodded.

"Good," Skinner said, running a hand over his face. He still sounded awkward, like he didn't know how to process any of this. "How the hell do these two get into this much trouble," he muttered to himself before muttering some goodbyes and leaving.

"Okay," Doggett said awkwardly in Skinner's absence, standing from his spot on the couch. "Thank you for the tip. We'll call you if you want when we find them..."

"Wait, we're coming with you," Melissa said, matter-of-factly. Simply, no room for argument.

"You can't," Doggett said.

"Yes, we can. We're family," she replied simply, crossing her arms over her chest. (Samantha was a little surprised that she included the Gunmen - but then again, they seemed close enough to Fox that she doubted he'd mind.)

"This is FBI business," Doggett tried in a sympathetic, firm way.

"Listen, buddy, we're going up there with your permission or not," Frohike said loudly, more confidently than he probably felt. "That was our plan all along."

Doggett looked like he wanted to say more, but Reyes interrupted him. "Look, John, what could it hurt to have them fly up there with us?" she asked, getting to her feet and laying a hand on his arm. "It's their right. Their siblings and friends in the balance."

Doggett sighed. "All right," he said. "But I don't want you interfering with the investigation."

"Yes, sir," Byers said quickly. He gave Frohike and Langly a meek but firm this-is-what-will-get-us-places look when they glared at him.

"Thank you," Melissa said, a stunned sort of gratefulness.

Reyes smiled and extended her hand towards her. "Monica Reyes, by the way."

"Melissa Scully," she said, shaking it.

***

They get caught in a layover at the airport that takes seven hours, but Frohike reassures an anxious Melissa and Samantha by showing them the tracking devices on Scully’s and Fox’s cars. “Mulder’s closer, but there’s plenty of time before they get there,” he says. “We’ll be fine. Between this layover and this flight, we’ll get there around the time they do.”

The words seem to calm Melissa considerably. Then she lays into Frohike for having trackers on her sister’s car.

“We thought it might be convenient if anything ever happened to them,” he says, meekly. “And look. We were right.”

The plane ride just takes a couple hours. The FBI agents make Samantha tense at first, but she relaxes eventually; Doggett seems suspicious, but nice enough aside from that, and Reyes is increasingly sweet. She and Melissa hit it off. ("I've always admired Agent Mulder and your sister," she says. "Their work on the X-Files. I studied mythology and folklore in college." "Is that why Skinner brought you?" Melissa asks. "Probably," Reyes says, half laughing.) The Gunmen keep mostly to themselves. Samantha relaxes enough to fall asleep for most of the plane ride.

There is an awkward, wordless exchange between Doggett and Reyes on whether they should take the other five or not. Reyes finally suggests, out loud, that they rent a car and see what they can do. They rent a large van that is decidedly un-FBI looking. Doggett ends up driving and Samantha ends up in the passenger seat. Even though it feels pointless and juvenile, she scans the roads for any sign of Scully or Fox.

Bellefleur, Oregon is brisk and tastes like the salt air. Doggett and Reyes insist on going to the local police station.They both disappear inside, and don't reappear for almost half an hour. Melissa gets restless, muttering under her breath and drumming her fingers on the center console. Her anxiousness resembles the twisting of Samantha's insides into a tight, worried knot. "Local police aren't going to be any help," Doggett says when they get into the car, annoyed. "A Detective Miles got real anxious and barreled out of there, but the rest of them just were unresponsive."

"All we got is that the abductions were in the woods," Reyes says.

"Well, let's go out there!" Frohike says insistently. "They're here, they've been here for hours."

Doggett starts the car. "Our objective is to get the abductees in and out," he says as they drive towards the forest."Agent Reyes and I will go into the woods. You five stay in the car."

"What?" Melissa spits.

"We can't take civilians into a dangerous area," Reyes says gently. "I'm sorry." Her eyes meet Melissa's regretfully.

"We've been in dangerous situations for most of our lives," Langly says bitterly. "I knew we shouldn’t have trusted other Feds."

Doggett snorts, looking at them the rearview mirror. Samantha’s hand brushes over the butt of Scully's gun. She hates feeling this helpless. Hates it.

"I promise we'll get your friends out safely," Doggett says, not unkindly. "We just can't be worried about you all when we're in this thing fighting."

Melissa mutters something vicious under her breath. The Gunmen are silent, except when Byers offers up a, "Their cars are parked at the edge of the woods."

Doggett pulls to a stop on the side of the road. Ahead of them, an orange X is on the road. Further ahead, two cars sit abandoned. Samantha recognizes the one Scully had left her in. "That's them," Frohike says.

Doggett and Reyes pull their guns and get out of the car. Suddenly, light streams through the window. Samantha claps a hand to the back of her neck, but the telltale buzzing isn't there. She lets down the window and sticks her head out. A UFO hovers over the treetops.

Reyes's face is open and full of wonder. "Holy mother of God," Doggett says, hushed and bewildered. The two of them sprint into the woods.

Melissa's face is just as full of wonder as Reyes's. "Wow," she whispers.

"If only Mulder were here to see this," Langly says. The three of them are clustered around the window.

"He is," Frohike snaps. "That's the problem."

Samantha sticks her head further back, craning her head to watch. Something launches into the sky, hitting the ship in the side. It falters, almost turning completely on its side. Samantha sucks in a breath, biting down on her lip hard enough to draw blood. The ship rights itself and fires back.

"No!" Melissa's hand hits the window. Samantha fumbles for the door handle. A section of the woods explodes into flames.

"Call the fire department," Samantha gasps, shoving the door open. She nearly falls out.

Melissa jumps out beside her, scrambling across the grass. "Dana!" she shouts.

Above them, a beam shoots down. Samantha wants to scream.

Doggett and Reyes appear and the edge of the woods with a cluster of teenagers. They have the glazed-over look of the chip; one tries to turn and go back into the woods. "Melissa, stay back!" Reyes yells. "There's still some more in there, we're going back in! We'll find them!"

Melissa ignores her, barreling into the woods calling her sister's name. Samantha follows, yanking Scully’s gun out.

Her throat burns with smoke. Above them, the Syndicate floats into the light.

Her brother had shouted her name when she'd floated into the light. He'd tried to get her father's gun. He'd tried to save her. Samantha blinks in the orange haze, gripping her sister-in-law's gun. Dana, Melissa screams beside her.

"Fox!" Samantha calls. ***

Scully walks towards the light. She reaches for Mulder's hand, but she can't move it. This can't happen, she wants to say. This can't happen to us.

The ground shakes. The beam moves off of them. Everything goes black.

When Scully comes to, she's lying prone on the ground, hair hanging over her face. Smoke chokes her throat. Flames are everywhere. She pulls herself off the ground, scanning the bright of the forest. She stumbles to her feet, staggering forward. She thinks she hears her name on the wind: Dana!

Then she sees him.  

"Mulder," she whispers, going down on her knees beside him. He mumbles something that might be her name, face turning into the dirt.

She reaches for him and the world shifts around her: Mulder crumpled in a field, Mulder bleeding out in an alley, Mulder slumped over in a car seat, soaked with sweat, dying. She hauls him into her arms, onto her lap. He curls around her, burying his face in her neck. The heat's all around her but she can't move them both. "I need help," she calls, weakly, but her voice is a strangled rasp. Mulder whimpers against her throat. She presses her face into his ashy hair.

They end up stretched out on the ashy grass, the same forest where they'd met. She holds him closer, kissing his forehead, his hair. She can't move, but she needs to. Mulder. The baby. "Help," she croaks, trying to scream.

"Scully?" An unfamiliar/familiar voice. She crawls fully on top of Mulder in an attempt to protect him before she recognizes it. "Jesus Christ," Samantha murmurs, hooking her hands under her armpits and hauling her up.

"Dana!" Missy's voice, but she can't be here. She tries to tell her that, but coughs instead. She stumbles to the side, unable to stand upright.

"Melissa, can you help her out of here?" Samantha says from somewhere near her. "Fox? Fox, you have to wake up. We have to go."

Scully feels her arm hooked over her older sister's shoulders as she's dragged out of the burning forest. Her vision is spotty and her breathing is harsh.

It all begins in Oregon, or ends in Oregon, and they are dead, they are alive, and Mulder’s being taken, and she’s kissing him in a hotel room, and the light is washing them out, swallowing them whole. It’s Oregon, goddamn Oregon. It’s always been Oregon.

She and William walk up the sunny path to his school, hand in hand. “First day of school. You nervous?” she asks her son, all bright eyes and messy hair. He shakes his head, practically bouncing with eagerness. He is at the stage where school is still an exciting adventure. “Your hands are sweaty,” she teases, shaking their joined hands between them.

He yanks his away, studying his palm with scrutiny. “Ew! That's you!”

She laughs, turning to face him - her son, in all his first-grade-glory. “What's the most important thing to remember?”

“Sit still, listen, say excuse me when you fart,” he ticks off proudly.

She laughs again - William is his father's son. And hers, her miracle. “The most important thing to remember... is that I love you. That's all you have to remember.” She leans forward and presses a kiss to his forehead.

He's looking at her seriously when she pulls back - his Scully look, Mulder calls it. “There's something you have to remember, too, Mommy.”

“What's that?” she teases, pushing his hair back.

“That this is realer than you think.”

Boggs said the same thing to her in a warehouse one time, and this isn't… “Oh, God,” she whispers, falling to her knees in front of William and hugging him tightly. “This isn't real. You aren't real. My baby, this is all in my head.”

“I'm realer than you think,” William says in his small voice, drawing back and pressing his fingers to her abdomen, a feather touch, and this, this is where the earth falls out from beneath her. “I love you, Mommy.” He kisses her forehead.

Something shifts and pulls and tugs in the back of her neck, and then a triumphant voice: “Got it out.”

“William,” she whispers, darkness swirling like a living entity, real and malevolent, swallowing her whole. Her son is here but he isn't real and she's going to have a baby. Oh, God, she's going to have a baby. “William.”