#also i love a good ''normal average human character slowly becoming less and less human until they are unrecognizable''
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infizero · 1 year ago
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cant stopthinking about betty
#^ another post thats rlly funny with my current pfp. canon#anyways its genuinely terminal#i cant remember if ive already said this but i think its cause even tho i know for a fact i mustve watched episodes with her in it#because my brother says we did when we watched it as kids. i had ZERO memory of ever witnessing anything to do with her#other than ofc like. holly jolly secrets LOL but that doesnt count#i only knew of that stuff secondhand during the period where i was kind of just occasionally hearing about the show as it aired when i#wasnt watching it. so basically while i already kind of knew what happened. this is me experiencing her as a character and her plotline#essentially for the first time. and realizing ohmy god shes the best character ever. holy fawk.......................#i only just started my at rewatch and i just started s2#but before that i had skimmed thru a guy's reactions to the full series which led to me watching her episodes for the first time. and MAN.#man. i love her somsuchh oh my god. BETTYYYYYTHAHRAHGHRHGRHRGHRGH#when the character is loving to the point of unhealthy obsession and sacrificing their entire life for the other person#that shit is like cocaine to me#rlly rlly hoping that f&c addresses how crazy and fucked her constantly sacrificing everything for simon is#literally GO TO THERAPY GIRL. GO TO CHAOS GOD THERAPY.#but then again. if she went to therapy she wouldnt be a cool wizard. so maybe its not worth it#also i love a good ''normal average human character slowly becoming less and less human until they are unrecognizable''#serena.txt
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betaboks · 1 month ago
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Okay hashihime au nonsense because I have a lot of spare ideas. Love writing spinoffs for my own fanfiction
Something I realize I completely forgot to address even in the authors notes was that. Like, by the end there Niji totally also has a hashihime. Those transfer when you kill someone with one, not that any characters involved have any way of knowing that. He totally got the hashihime of the man that he killed, and to me sincerely he probably didn't realize for like, a hell of a while. He just doesn't have a reason to see his eyes under his goggles very often.
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In any case I definitely think this Niji skipped town pretty much immediately after his Sanji disappears back in time. Sanji was one of the few things tethering him to Germa to begin with and one of the things making it bearable, and with him gone, he may as well try to abide by his wishes, "do something less upsetting", and he can't do that while living there and being a military commander and prince.
He takes Michael with him, not because he cares about her or anything, he's never really spoken to her, but because she's the only other person who knew Sanji at all and cared about him as well. It's not like she has a job anymore, she got put down in the dungeon as glorified babysitter for a reason— and it's not that she really wants to risk herself and leave either, but with enough strongarming everything is possible, and it spares her a crueler fate.
Niji's still not the sort of person who has his emotional capacities actually sorted out. He cared about Sanji, but Sanji isn't there anymore. Trying to sort out having emotions without the person that made you have them in the first place is a doozie, especially since they haven't fully developed but still do keep developing without him there. Whatever relationship he forms with Michael through their travels ends up being kind of weird and unhealthy on his end because he kinda sees similarities between her and his brother and keeps lowkey projecting Sanji onto her. She has to keep snapping him out of it, and the more she does the more she grows a backbone and stops being so scared of him, though she keeps the overly polite streak.
It's not all terrible, though. I know for a fact Michael christens him some silly name from one of her favorite books so they're less easy to track, and Niji takes to it as if he'd never been named no. 2 at all, much to her delight. And Niji on the other hand helps her feel more confident— his praise for her skills as a fighter and soldier are quite candid and slowly disabuse her of the notion that she was strictly bad at her job and thus useless as an individual. Really, her issues were mostly being soft, and if she is a failure for that, Niji tells her he's becoming one too just the same. His apparent selfishness lets him do whatever the hell he wants, too, even when it rains, so there's at least a little upside to his emotions still not being completely normal the way an average person's would be.
Eventually they'd end up traveling with the strawhats for a while, and they slowly help untangle Niji's too-tight grip on Michael and learn to let her go and do her own thing. They were good as traveling companions for a while but it wasn't really meant to be forever, and Michael deserves to live in peace and away from the threat of Germa hunting her down due to association with him. Niji stays with them even when they drop her off though.
When they ask him if he has a dream or not, he tells them he still doesn't think he's enough of a human being to really have one for himself yet, but that he really wants to build an honest-to-god time machine. He wants to be able to figure out how these things work, and honestly he just wants his little brother back so he can show him the outside world. The strawhats keep him while he figures out whether or not that ends up being his actual dream or if he has a more selfish one for self-fulfillment down the road, and if they keep him indefinitely even after he figures that out, well, that's just the way things go.
Also honestly I didn't know where else to put it here but I don't think he ever regains use of his arm. He just didn't care for it properly in the process of running away and at that point it wasn't fully healed, so the sling becomes a bit of a permanent fixture with him. He doesn't mind and doesn't want to particularly have it fixed in any capacity if it even can be, he regards it as a parting gift from Sanji.
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notapaladin · 4 years ago
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Obsidian and Blood, an overview
Do you like fantasy? Do you like mysteries? Do you like Mesoamerican mythology? Do you like ALL OF THOSE THINGS TOGETHER, set against the lush backdrop of Tenochtitlan in 1480? (Or maybe you just want to know more about the series I have been going feral over since August.) Then buckle up, because oh boy have I got a series for you!
*drumroll, please*
OBSIDIAN AND BLOOD, written by Aliette de Bodard (better known for her Xuya and Dominion of the Fallen series)
There are two kinds of people: Those who see the words “Aztec fantasy/murder mysteries set in very well-researched 1480s Tenochtitlan BUT WITH MAGIC, investigated by the HIGH PRIEST OF THE GOD OF DEATH” and immediately ran off to buy them, and those who clearly need convincing. So here I am, shamelessly plugging my new hyperfixation!
Obsidian and Blood consists of three semi-standalone novels and three (free!) prequel short stories, all featuring 30-year-old Acatl as our first-person POV mystery solver. Acatl is not, however, your average historical detective; aside from being set firmly in Tenochtitlan in 1480 with all that implies re. the acceptability of slavery and human sacrifice, he also is the High Priest of Mictlantecuhtli in a universe where the gods regularly meddle in mortal affairs and magic spells are powered largely by rituals and blood—animal, human, or your own. You’d think this would make Acatl really, really good at solving murders, but you’d be wrong. He is the least of the Triple Alliance’s three High Priests, and his god doesn’t come at his servant’s beck and call. Not to mention the other gods, who have their own deadly agendas. That’s not even getting into the people around him, who might be the most dangerous of all. Luckily, he has more allies than he thinks—if he has the strength to actually reach out to them and admit he could use the help!
(He doesn’t need to reach out to his student Teomitl. Teomitl, a confident young warrior of imperial blood, keeps volunteering. This gives Acatl roughly one heart attack per book.)
You will like them if…
I did just say “magic murder mysteries in 1480s Tenochtitlan,” right? It’s real Precolumbian Mexico hours up in here! The history of the Aztec Empire and their Triple Alliance actually forms multiple key plot points throughout the series!
you’re into Aztec history/culture in general
if a DnD fan, you are REALLY into the Raven Queen
you think blood magic is super cool and wish it wasn’t treated as the realm of The Bad Guys
you get incredibly hyped over lesser-known mythologies treated respectfully but also very awesomely (the thing where the Aztecs thought human sacrifice kept the sun in the sky? Yeah, in this universe it is literally true and plot-relevant)
you are big into chaste heroes, lots of snarky asides, highly opinionated narrators who let their own prejudices destroy them, “from an outside perspective this is cosmic horror but for the characters it is a Tuesday,” mysteries with twists you will NOT see coming, and themes of trauma/memories/family legacies
you love reading about dysfunctional family relationships in various states of repair/further destruction
you’ve ever thought “hey this historical mystery is cool but what if there was MAGIC”
you like noir detective stories but want them with magic
you like urban fantasy but want them to have historical settings instead of vaguely modern-day ones
Plot/character summaries below!
SHORT STORIES (prequels to the novels, blurbs by me)
Obsidian Shards
Warriors have been found dead in the town of Colhuacan, obsidian shards embedded in their hearts. Acatl, priest of Mictlantecuhtli, suspects a creature of the Underworld—one he already calls a foe, for it slew his first and last apprentice.
Beneath the Mask
In the Tenochtitlan suburb of Coyoacan, Acatl’s childhood friend Huchimitl begs him to save her only son’s war captive; the man whose sacrifice will make the boy a proper warrior is paralyzed from an unknown curse, unable even to rise from the floor. But who could have cursed him, and is it connected to the mask Huchimitl now wears?
Safe, Child, Safe
A toddler is slowly wasting away, the mark of the Underworld on him, and Acatl is tasked with finding the cause. But no creature of the Underworld kills so slowly, and so Acatl must turn his investigation to the living.
THE BOOKS (blurbs taken directly from the book listings, you don’t HAVE to read them in order but I do recommend it)
Servant of the Underworld
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Year One-Knife, Tenochtitlan; the capital of the Mexica Empire. Human sacrifice and the magic of living blood are the only things keeping the sun in the sky and the earth fertile. A Priestess disappears from an empty room drenched in blood. It should be a usual investigation for Acatl, High Priest of the Dead—except that his estranged brother is involved, and the more he digs, the deeper he is drawn into the political and magical intrigues of noblemen, soldiers, and priests—and of the gods themselves...
(Neutemoc: I didn't mean to sleep with her! It was an accident! Acatl: I don't understand. Did you trip?) (Acatl: I don't want a new apprentice! Teomitl: :D? Acatl: ...I will make an exception)
Harbinger of the Storm
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The year is Two House, and the Emperor of the Mexica has just died. The protections he afforded the Empire are crumbling, and the way lies wide open to flesh-eating star-demons—and to the return of their creator, a malevolent goddess only held in check by the War God's power. The council should convene to choose a new Emperor, but they are too busy plotting against each other. And then someone starts summoning star-demons within the palace, to kill councilmen...Acatl, High Priest of the Dead, must find the culprit before everything is torn apart.
(Teomitl: I've only had Acatl and Mihmatini for a year, but if anything happens to them I'll kill everyone in this room and then myself) (Quenami: Playing With The Big Boys.mp3)
Master of the House of Darts
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The year is Three Rabbit, and the storm is coming. The Mexica Empire now has a new Emperor, but his coronation war has just ended in a failure: the armies have retreated with a paltry forty prisoners of war, not near enough sacrifices to satisfy the gods. Acatl, High Priest for the Dead, has no desire to involve himself yet again in the intrigues of the powerful. However, when one of the prisoners dies of a magical illness, he has little choice but to investigate. For it is only one death, but it will not be the last. As the bodies pile up and the imperial court tears itself apart, dragging Teomitl, Acatl's beloved student, into the eye of the storm, the High Priest for the Dead is going to have to choose whom he can afford to trust; and where, in the end, his loyalties ultimately lie...
(Teomitl: I am no longer Baby I want Power) (Acatl, to Teomitl: What have you got there? Nezahual, gleefully: A coup! Acatl: NO!)
THE MAIN CHARACTERS (in order of appearance)
ACATL “By my face and by my heart, I’ll bring you justice.” High Priest of Mictlantecuhtli, god of death and the underworld. As such, his duties include both the obvious ones of arranging funerals and standing vigils for the dead, and the less obvious ones of investigating magical crimes and keeping the boundaries between the heavens, Earth, and the underworld intact. When Servant of the Underworld begins, he’s only recently been promoted and hates it. Has a strained relationship with his living family, due largely to not having lived up to his (dead) parents’ desires for him to become a warrior like his brother Neutemoc. Bitter, cynical, and grumpy, but devoted to justice and fairness.
Has an official character sheet.
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CEYAXOCHITL “Everyone has to grow up and take responsibilities. Even small, humble priests.” Guardian of the Sacred Precinct and wielder of the power of the Duality (Ometeotl), which makes her the sworn protector of the Mexica Empire and its Revered Speaker from all sorts of mainly-magical threats. Somewhat past middle age but still very strong in her magical abilities, and something of an antagonistic mentor to Acatl. (She nominated him for the position of High Priest. He is not appreciative.) Serious and devoted to her duty, with a keen eye for potential in others. Dies in Harbinger of the Storm and you WILL cry.
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NEUTEMOC “Priests hide and run away. Warriors don’t.” Acatl’s older brother, a Jaguar Knight with five children and a failing marriage. Resents Acatl for not helping to support their aging parents by becoming a warrior like he did. The central suspect during most of Servant of the Underworld’s plot, though by the end he and Acatl have begun to repair their relationship. He is strict, stern, and bitter, but truly loves his family. (In the case of his younger brother, that love is buried very deep down.)
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TEOMITL “If we don’t believe in ourselves, who is going to?” Acatl’s student, an enthusiastic warrior who yearns to prove himself worthy of his power and noble rank, as well as live up to the memory of the mother who died birthing him. During Servant of the Underworld he swears himself to Chalchiuhtlicue, goddess of fresh water and lakes, gaining (among other things) command over the man-eating water monsters called ahuitzotls. He is courting Mihmatini during Harbinger of the Storm; by the time Master of the House of Darts takes place, they are married. He is abrasive and proud, but also honest, loyal, and brave. And very, very ambitious. You will want to punch him several times. This is normal. (Also, I will swear that it's not just my ship-goggles being on too tight that has me thinking his relationship with Acatl is much more weighty and personal than the one he has with his ACTUAL WIFE.)
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MIHMATINI “Better laugh, and smile at the flowers and jade. Life is too short to be spent grieving.” Acatl and Neutemoc’s youngest sister, a powerful magic-user who finds herself thrust into the position of Guardian during Harbinger of the Storm. Though she has no great ambitions herself—she mostly just wants to be a mother and raise children—she is ferociously protective of her family and will fight anything that threatens them. Even themselves. (Especially themselves.) Kind, caring, and light-hearted, but her acid tongue and sharp temper are not to be dismissed. "Fuck Around And Find Out" given human form.
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ACAMAPICHTLI “We have always endured.” High priest of Tlaloc and a reoccurring thorn in Acatl’s side. Though he’s primarily out for his own gain and has no patience for Acatl’s refusal to play on the field of Imperial politics, they eventually form something like an uneasy truce following the end of Harbinger of the Storm. He is snarky and sardonic, but truly cares for his clergy. During Master of the House of Darts he somehow became one of my favorite characters.
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TIZOC "I've always known that priests couldn't be trusted. You have just exceeded my expectations." Teomitl’s older brother, first Master of the House of Darts and then Revered Speaker. (Look, it’s not a spoiler if you can Google it.) He is cowardly, ambitious, and the closest thing this series has to an overarching antagonist. Among other things, tries to have Acatl executed during Harbinger of the Storm. Events at the end of that book only manage to make him measurably worse. "Ah There He Is, That Motherfucker, What A Tool" #1.
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QUENAMI “Oh, Acatl. Such lack of tact. You are so unsuited for the Court.” High Priest of Huitzilpochtli, appointed by Tizoc between Servant of the Underworld and Harbinger of the Storm. Comes from a noble family, and is much better at diplomacy and playing politics than he is at magic. When push comes to shove, however, he can display some surprising determination. He is arrogant, scheming, and takes joy in cutting Acatl down, but presumably has some good qualities...somewhere. "Ah There He Is, That Motherfucker, What A Tool" #2.
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Maps of the series’ primary setting
Setting Primers
Official Character Index
Glossary
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wistfulcynic · 4 years ago
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The Eternal and Unseen (3 of 4)
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SO yeah. The chapter count has grown. There’s a lot going on here. David has a backstory. Emma and Killian have a mission. IT’S A LOT and it needs more words. 
CW: This chapter contains minor (and canon compliant) character death and a potentially distressing scene involving the accidental death of a child. It’s not graphic but it is emotional so be prepared. 
As ever, thanks to @ohmightydevviepuu for plotting with me and @thisonesatellite and @katie-dub for general amazingness and @optomisticgirl​ and @spartanguard​ for the prompts and the always-enthusiastic responses 😘
And @carpedzem​ for another absolutely stunning drawing. SEE BELOW. 
SUMMARY: Misthaven University is an ancient place, and as all ancient places do it guards some secrets. Secrets such as Emma Swan and Killian Jones, a fae princess and her royal guardian, whose true identities are well concealed behind the guise of average college students—if not quite well enough to foil the plot their enemies have hatched against them. Now their friends will have to come together, putting their own differences aside to battle an enemy that threatens them all—fae and vampire and werewolf together… plus one very baffled human named David.
For @cssns​
AO3 | tumblr part one | tumblr part two 
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(I MEAN. WHAT. SO PERFECT.)
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PART THREE:
They returned to Andersen just as twilight was creeping across the sky and the moon rising into it, heavy and dark gold as it crested the forest trees. Emma watched it through the window of her room, where she and Killian and David had retreated to rest a bit and collect themselves before deciding on their next move. The others had also gone to their rooms rest and prepare, and now David sat on Emma’s bed with his hands clasped in his lap and his shoulders tight as Killian made Emma a cup of tea and she frowned at the moon. 
David watched in silence as Killian approached Emma and offered her a steaming cup. She accepted it with a smile and a cheek turned up to meet the kiss he dropped on it, in a gesture so comfortable and natural it gave David’s heart a little twinge. He wondered how he could ever have thought they weren’t right for each other when the depth and intensity of their love was so very, very obvious. 
But then he was becoming aware that there were in fact a great many obvious things in this world that he hadn’t been able to see. It was not a comfortable thought. 
“So,” he said, breaking the silence. “I get that you’ve both got a lot of thinking to do right now. But could you—is there time for you just to explain a few things first? Like exactly what the hell is going on? I feel like everyone knows what’s happening here but me.” 
“That shouldn’t be a new feeling for you,” remarked Killian with a smirk. David sighed. 
“Yeah, okay, that’s fair. I’m not sure how I missed so much of what was happening around me, but I see it now and I’d like to understand it.”
Emma and Killian exchanged a glance. 
“What exactly have you seen?” Emma asked. 
“Visions?” David said uncertainly. “Of the past? Killian made me drink something purple and then I started seeing things.” 
“Something purple?” Emma frowned. 
“Yeah. He put some grey powder and a crushed up leaf into a beaker full of something Victor gave him, and it turned purple. And started to smoke,” said David.
“You gave him purple willow bark?” Emma turned to Killian in alarm.
“Aye,” Killian replied. “Along with the sap from one of Jane’s leaves.”  
“Oh.” Emma relaxed. “Well, that was the right choice of leaf at least.” 
“I do listen when you talk about the plants, love.”  
“Hmmm,” said Emma. “And how did you feel afterwards?” she asked David. 
“I—kind of passed out.” 
Emma nodded. “I’m not surprised. Purple willow packs a punch. Normally we blend a few herbs into the emulsifier to soften its effects, but there’s no way Killian could have known the correct ones. He did the best he could in the circumstances.” She gave Killian a smile that tried hard to be sardonic. “This time, though, I’ll give you the gentler version.” 
David started. “This time?” 
“Well, yeah,” said Emma. “It’s the easiest way to give you the information you need. We could explain, I suppose, but it’s really best if you see it for yourself. Especially if you want to know your own history.” 
“My… own history?” 
Emma nodded, her expression sorrowful and soft with sympathy. “Yeah. You’ve seen the history of the fae and the Guardians, now you need to understand where you fit into that.” 
“Killian—” David cleared his throat. “Killian said I’m a—a Guardian? Like he is?” 
“Yeah you are. But as you’ve probably guessed there’s more to it than that. Are you ready to See?” 
David swallowed hard. Part of him still wanted to say no, to deny all of this and run, back to yesterday when things had made sense. But a bigger part of him knew he needed to know, and to understand why all these crazy things that were happening to him seemed less and less crazy the more he thought about them. The more he thought. 
“Yeah,” he said. “I’m ready.” 
~
It’s less abrupt this time, smoother, as though he’s drifting in a boat on a misty sea. The mist clears and the sea recedes and he is standing at the edge of a wood, with fields at his back and before him trees that reach up to the sky, tall and straight as in the forest of the fae council, only now they frame not an ancient round stone but a house. It’s a nice house if rather a small one, humble but homey, made of wood and fronted by a well-kept garden with a creek running through it. Something about the house tickles at David’s memory—though no, not his memory exactly, more a feeling… the sense that he has been here before. 
He blinks and finds himself inside the house, in a cramped bedroom where a woman lies back against rumpled pillows, exhausted, cradling a tiny newborn baby in her arms. Slowly she traces the curve of the baby’s cheek with the tip of her finger, her eyes alight with wonder. 
“James,” she whispers. “Your name is James.” 
“And who is this one?” asks a voice. David turns to see another woman, plain and sturdy and with kind eyes, holding up another tiny bundle. This second bundle she places gently in the crook of the woman’s other arm. 
“David,” says the woman on the bed. “This one is David.” 
David gasps and his eyes fly to the woman, but before he can get a good look at her the scene is shifting and he sees the babies—himself and his brother—his brother—now toddlers, running through the woods behind the house. He knows, somehow, which is himself and which is James—though their faces are identical, James’s wears an expression of recklessness and mischief as he runs as fast as his young legs can take him to the edge of the creek that comes out from the woods to cut across the corner of their garden. Young David follows, his tiny face crumpling as he calls out to his brother, and David now can feel the terror of his younger self as he sees James slip on the slick rocks that border the creek, hears his brother’s cry, abruptly silenced as his head hits the stones… David sees his own young legs move as fast as they can—faster than they should—but still far too slowly. He hears a heartrending scream, feels the flurry of movement as his mother runs from the garden—she turned her back for the briefest moment—and David looks away. His toddler self is bawling and he cannot watch it, cannot listen to his mother’s broken sobs… this, he thinks, this must be why she never told him that he had a twin. Her cries are unearthly as she cradles James’s tiny form, and they echo in David’s aching chest as he squeezes his eyes shut and wills the scene to change. 
It does, and when he looks again he’s back inside the house where it is clear that time has passed—though it cannot be much; David’s younger self is older now but by a few months or so, no more. He is in the bedroom again, where a man with a very familiar square chin and blond hair arms himself for battle, while David’s mother sits on the bed and pleads for him to stay. 
“You know that I can’t, Ruth,” the man says, “The call has come, and my duty—” 
“Oh, your duty!” Ruth cries. “You’re not even the chosen Guardian!” 
“But I am a guardian,” he insists. “I must go to battle when called. And David—” 
“David is a child!” 
“A child with a bounden duty, the same as my own. You knew this when you married me.” 
“I know. I know I did but I can’t bear it now,” sobs Ruth. “I can’t, Robert. Not so soon after James.” 
Robert takes her face gently in his hands and kisses her. “I will return,” he says softly. “I promise, my love.”  
But David knows, even without being shown by the vision, that he never did. 
The scene shifts again. Very little time has passed, David can tell, but the change in his mother is heartbreaking. She is wan, gaunt, lying listlessly on the sofa with no expression in her eyes, and David can feel the worry of his toddler self as he makes a show of playing quietly on the floor, but with far more attention on his mother than his toys. She is weakened by despair and fragile from her losses, and young though he is, David is afraid for her. 
There is a knock at the door but his mother makes move to answer or even acknowledge it. It’s David who toddles over and cries “Come in!” 
The door opens to admit a woman, pale and blonde and green-eyed. Her face resembles Emma’s though considerably older, and she lacks the determined chin, the stubborn glint in the eye that Emma has. 
His mother’s eyes flit briefly to the woman then away, and she makes no move to rise. “Princess Angharad,” she says flatly. 
“Ruth,” replies the woman, coming to stand next to the sofa. Her stern expression softens in sympathy and, David thinks, a hint of pity. “I’m so very sorry.” 
“I’m sure you are,” sneers Ruth. “You lost a fine warrior, after all.” 
David gapes—never in his life has he heard his mother speak so rudely. Angharad’s expression does not change. 
“Your sacrifice has been great—” she begins, but Ruth interrupts her.
“Yes it has,” she says sharply. “And it won’t be any greater. I’m taking David and I am leaving this place.” 
Angharad’s eyebrows rise then snap together in a frown. “Leaving!” she exclaims.
“Yes.” 
“But—you know that David has been chosen as the Guardian for my granddaughter, Emma.” 
“Yes I do.” 
“His selection was a great honour.”  
“Yes it was. And I refuse it. You can’t have him.” 
“Ruth—” 
“No!” There’s fire in Ruth’s eyes now, sparking dangerously as she sits up straight to glare at the princess. “You’ve taken my husband. I’ve lost my son. David is all I have left, you will not take him from me too!” 
“But the Guardian—” 
“Choose another.” 
Angharad steps backwards and nearly stumbles into the armchair next to the sofa. She twists her hands together in her lap. “It is your right, as you know, to make this refusal on behalf of your minor child,” she says. “But I would urge you, strongly urge you to reconsider.” 
“I won’t.” Ruth’s jaw is set. “My mind is made up.” 
The princess’s own jaw is tight, her eyes troubled. “There is another who might do,” she murmurs, almost to herself. “Closer in age to Emma than we generally prefer and with certain… troubling portents, but if you are truly adamant…” She darts a glance at Ruth. 
“I am,” Ruth confirms. Angharad nods. She looks up again and this time holds Ruth’s gaze.
“And what is your intention, when you leave us?” she asks. “Where will you go?”
“Into the human world. I’m going to raise my son among his own kind, humans who have no obligation to the fae or any knowledge of darkness or covenants. He’ll grow up as far away from magic as I can get him.” 
Angharad’s face is sorrowful now. “I cannot agree with this decision, as much as I sympathise with why you have taken it. This recent battle has brought great losses to many of our human allies. For that I am boundlessly sorry.” 
“I don’t accept your apology,” says Ruth stiffly. “Although I do acknowledge it.” 
“That is fair.” Angharad nods. She straightens her shoulders and looks at Ruth again. “Before I go and with your permission, I would bestow on you one final gift.” 
Ruth’s eyes narrow in suspicion. “What sort of gift?” 
Angharad looks at young David, still playing on the floor and listening, older David is certain, to every word. “The human world is not like ours but there is still magic there, and David with his heritage and the distinction that should have been his will find himself drawn to it,” she explains. “I can—close his mind, as it were, to the perception of that magic, make it far more difficult for him to see and easier to rationalise if he does see it.” 
“You want to mess with my son’s head,” says Ruth flatly.
“In a manner of speaking,” Angharad concedes. “It’s not normally something I would do especially to a child so young, but understand me well, Ruth—underestimating the pull of his heritage, of two hundred generations of Guardians, would be a grave mistake. Even with this spell upon him he may still find himself drawn by magic. You cannot keep him from it by your will alone.” 
“Fine,” Ruth spits. “Do what you like.” 
Angharad approaches young David with a kind smile and kneels beside him. 
“What’s that you’re playing with?” she asks. 
“Lego!” he exclaims. “It’s a castle!” 
“And a very fine one too,” Angharad murmurs, with such sadness in her eyes David’s heart aches. She brushes the hair from his forehead then lets her hand rest there as she murmurs a few words. David feels his younger mind blur and shift and resettle. The toddler’s eyes go hazy and he blinks them slowly, and when the princess removes her hand he returns to his toys, blithely building his castle as though she were not even there. 
Angharad rises to her feet. “I shall take the sword now,” she says briskly. 
Ruth gets up from the sofa and disappears through the bedroom door. When she returns she is carrying a long sword—the same sword David last saw belted around his father’s waist. The one that is now in his own possession. 
“What will you do with it?” Ruth asks, thrusting the sword at Angharad.  
“Keep it safe,” she replies. “It rightfully belongs to your son, and to his descendants. One day perhaps one of them might wish to claim it.” 
“I hope not,” says Ruth. “With every fibre of my being I hope it.” 
“That is your right, and your prerogative,” replies Angharad. “As it is mine to hope that despite everything that has come to pass, one day David may take it up again, and find his way back to us.”
~
Emma sat in her armchair with her legs curled beneath her and a cup of tea steaming gently in her hand, watching the images flickering in her scrying mirror. David was lying in her bed, his eyes moving frantically beneath closed lids and his limbs twitching as he re-lived his history. Killian and Harriet both sat at his beside, ready to react should anything go wrong. Emma cast a glance at them, smiling fondly at the sight of one of Harriet’s fronds curled gently around Killian’s neck, stroking the nape of it as Emma herself liked to do. Killian gave a little hum at the tickling caress but did not look up from the book that lay open in his lap. 
Emma turned her attention back to the mirror. The images it revealed confirmed her suspicions, but something about the whole business still troubled her, something she couldn’t quite put her finger on. She frowned as she went back over some of the images, playing them again, willing herself to see what she was missing. 
Harriet unfurled one of her vines—not the one standing ready to protect David or the one fondling Killian (Harriet was an excellent multi-tasker) and with the closest thing to a long-suffering sigh a plant can muster tapped the tip of a leaf against one of the posters Emma had blu-tacked to the wall. The one that outlined the lunar cycles of the year 2020. Another leaf gestured emphatically at the window, where the golden moon was still rising in the sky.
“Of course,” breathed Emma. “That’s it.”  
Killian looked up from his book. “That’s what, love?” 
“I’ve just figured out what’s been bothering me about this whole thing,” Emma exclaimed. Harriet huffed and folded her vine as a person might fold their arms across their chest. “Okay, okay,” laughed Emma, “it was Harriet who figured it out.” 
“Naturally.” Killian gave Harriet a little scratch behind her leaf. 
“But it all makes sense now,” Emma continued. “Things I couldn’t find a good explanation for, like why those women would kidnap me and why my instincts would tell me they were deadly dangerous when every other sign indicates that they’re really, really not.” She set her teacup down on her desk and leapt to her feet, dropping an absent kiss on Killian’s cheek as she headed for the door. “You stay here until David wakes up, okay? It should only be a few more minutes. I need to go talk to Belle.” 
~
Angharad’s final words echo in his ears as the scene shifts around her, and though her face appears unchanged David senses she is now some years older. This seems confirmed by the young woman seated in front of her, a blonde and green-eyed fae that is, finally, Emma. 
She’s so young, David thinks, with a small twinge beneath his heart, though this cannot be more than a few years in the past. Emma’s face is rounder and her hair less styled, though he can see the seeds of the woman he knows in the stubborn set to her girlish jaw and the wilful spark in her eyes. She’s dressed in a long split skirt and a fitted leather jerkin in her trademark red, which even with his limited knowledge from these visions David recognises as a traditional fae style, updated for the modern world, and he is not surprised that this is something young Emma might choose to wear. She sits on a wide, cushioned seat in a large room where the walls appear to be formed of tightly twisted tree branches with tall windows and a wooden door set into them. David reflects for a moment how a mere twenty-four hours ago such decor would have astonished him, then returns his attention to Angharad and to Emma.
“Now that you are about to come of age,” the elder fae is saying, “it’s high time you met your Guardian.” 
“Ugh. Do I have to?” 
Emma manages not to whine but David can tell it’s a near thing. She crosses her arms over her chest and it’s plain to see her lower lip wants badly to pout. 
“Don’t you want to?” Angharad looks shocked. 
“No, actually,” Emma retorts. “I don’t need a man to take care of me.” 
“He is not a man, he’s your Guardian,” her grandmother scolds, “and his job is not to ‘take care of you.’ It is to protect you.” 
“I don’t need that either!” 
Angharad’s expression says plainly that she is holding tight to her patience. “Emma, the most recent battles are within your lifetime—” 
“Barely,” Emma mutters.
“—and despite your gifts for scrying you cannot predict with certainty when there might be another. After the loss of both your parents and so many of our kind we simply cannot afford to be without our Guardians should we find ourselves again under attack. Without their aid fae kind would have been lost thousands of years ago, and indeed as the covenants say—” 
“All right, all right,” groans Emma. “For the love of the goddess, don’t start quoting the covenants. I’ll accept this Guardian and do what is required of me. But you canNOT make me need him!” 
“I will pray that you never do,” says Angharad, now with a twinkle of humour behind her stern expression. 
A knock sounds at the door, and she goes to open it. A young man enters the room, mid-twenties at David’s estimate and moving with a distinct stiffness in his right leg. “Ah, good day to you, Captain Jones,” Angharad greets him warmly. “Do come in. But where is your brother?” 
“Outside looking at your horses,” says the man with a sigh. He continues to speak but David doesn’t hear his words—he has noticed Emma slip quietly from the room and he follows her. She creeps down a narrow hallway and through a door at the back of the dwelling. Once outside she darts through a sparse scattering of trees, heading for a long, low building that David gathers to be the stables. Just as she approaches the broad stable door it flies open and a boy strides through it, colliding with Emma and barely managing to catch her before she can fall. 
“Oh!” she cries and the boy grunts, blinking startled blue eyes as he gazes down at her. Her own eyes widen and for a moment they stand frozen, his arms around her waist and her hands on his chest, staring at each other in helpless fascination—until the boy blinks rapidly and clears his throat as he steps back. 
Killian—because of course it’s he—scratches nervously behind his ear. 
“Um,” he says, “er... ah…” 
“Eloquent,” teases Emma, who has by all appearance regained her composure—though David notes the bright flush in her cheeks and the breathiness of her voice. “You must be Killian Jones.” 
“Aye,” he replies, collecting his wits and giving her a hesitant smile. “And you are of course the princess Emma.” 
“I am.” 
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, lass.” 
“The pleasure is all yours,” retorts Emma. Killian looks first startled, then affronted, then captivated, all within a few blinks of an eye. A delighted grin spreads across his face, with just a hint of the smirk he will perfect in years to come. 
Emma herself blinks at that grin, and the flush on her cheeks deepens. “You should know from the start that I don’t need a Guardian,” she declares, attempting to cover her discomfiture with a haughty glare. “I can take care of myself.” 
“Oh yes,” says Killian. His gaze travels slowly down her form and back up again. “I don’t doubt that you can.” 
“Oh.” Emma scowls at his easy acquiescence and also, David imagines, at the way he’s looking at her—as though she’s the most brilliant thing he’s ever seen. She shifts uncomfortably as Killian moves closer. 
“But however capable you may be, Your Highness,” he says, his voice dropping lower and his expression hardening, “and regardless of whether or not you want one, you’ve got a Guardian. Me.” He leans in closer still and David can hear Emma’s breath catch. “And I intend to take my duties very, very seriously.” 
“But I don’t need you!” Emma snaps. There’s frustration in her tone and temper in her eyes, though she doesn’t, David notices, back away. 
“And I don’t care.” 
They are so close now their noses are nearly touching and the air crackles with the tension between them. David is all too familiar with these battles of wills of theirs, having witnessed many firsthand in the dorm, but this one, the first one, is the most intense of all. He holds his own breath as he watches them take the measure of each other, notes the rapid rise and fall of their chests and the way their eyes are locked, how Killian’s hand curls around Emma’s hip and hers slides up his chest without either of them noticing. He begins to feel as though he should look away—this moment is too intimate for him to witness—but then Angharad’s voice cries “Emma!” from the direction of the house and she and Killian wrench themselves apart. 
They stare at each other for a moment as they attempt to catch their breaths, then Emma gives her hair a toss. 
“Well,” she huffs, “have it your way, I guess. You can follow me around if you like, I can’t stop you, but you’re going to look pretty stupid when you show up to save me and find I’ve already saved myself.” 
Killian laughs, loud and bright. “I’m prepared to take that chance, princess,” he says. 
The scene shimmers and resolves into two figures walking through the woods. One is Killian and the other his brother, the man whom Angharad addressed earlier as Captain Jones. His limp is more pronounced now, a halting gait caused by the stiff way he holds his right leg and his clear reluctance to put weight on it, as though the knee cannot be fully trusted. The two of them emerge from the trees and out onto a narrow road where a car is parked. David notes the way Killian moderates his own pace to match his brother’s, unconsciously, walking slowly despite the buzz of nervous energy that is rolling off him in waves.
They approach the car and Killian removes a set of keys from his pocket to unlock it, then gets behind the wheel while his brother with effort eases himself into the passenger seat. There’s a scowl on Killian’s face and his movements are jerky as he puts the car in gear; his brother has been lecturing him and he is clearly displeased. David hasn’t been listening to their words but he concentrates on them now, just in time to hear Killian snap “Bloody hell, Liam—” 
“Language!” 
“—I only met her today! We spoke for less than five minutes! Don’t you think it’s a bit premature to be warning me away from her!” 
“I wish it were,” Liam mutters. “Sometimes five minutes is all it takes.” 
Killian grips the steering wheel hard with one hand and jams the key into the ignition with the other. “What the devil are you on about?” he grumbles, though the look on his face makes David suspect that he knows full well what Liam is ‘on about’, and that it worries him too. 
Liam sighs. “Look, just—just be careful, little brother.” 
“When am I not careful, and it’s younger brother, if you don’t mind.” 
“Killian.” Liam’s face is intensely solemn, with genuine fear behind his eyes. “You can’t fall in love with her.” 
Killian shoots his brother a glare as he twists the key and the car’s engine roars to life. “I know that,” he snaps, “and I don’t intend to.” 
David nearly laughs. If that’s what has Liam so concerned, his warning’s come far too late. Killian is halfway in love already, and his feelings are a tide that cannot be turned. 
“Well.” Liam shifts uncomfortably in his seat and folds his arms across his chest. “See that you don’t, then.” 
Killian twists the wheel and he car peels away. David doesn’t follow it. He can feel the potion thinning in his veins, the visions receding along with the car’s taillights, leaving him standing in the fading forest wondering what on earth could make the prospect of Killian and Emma falling in love strike such fear into a man like Liam Jones. 
~
David came awake slowly, drifting back to consciousness in that boat on the misty sea. When he opened his eyes he found himself lying on Emma’s bed wrapped in some sort of blanket, warm and quite comfortable and with Killian beside him in a chair, a book open in his lap. He shut the book when he sensed David’s gaze on him, set it aside and offered a smile. 
“How are you feeling, mate?” he asked. 
“Good,” said David, then paused to clear the croak from his voice. “Hell of a lot better than I did after the potion you gave me.” 
“Aye, I don’t doubt it.” Killian chuckled. “ I’m pretty much the furthest thing imaginable from an expert on magic. It was all I could do to remember the basic elements of the potion Angharad gave me when I accepted my Guardian duties.” 
“So you—saw what I did? The visions?”
“I saw what you did the first time,” said Killian. “The fae histories and the origin of the Guardians. That knowledge is given to all of us. These latest visions, though, were for you alone.” 
David moved to sit up only to discover that he couldn’t. What he had taken for a blanket turned out, upon closer examination, to be an enormous, glossy green leaf wrapped tightly around him. 
“What the—” he sputtered. 
“Oh, that’s Harriet,” said Killian, blithely, as though leaves the size of blankets were a thing one found oneself wrapped in as a matter of course. “Don’t worry, she’s friendly. Most of the time.” 
Another leaf appeared in front of David’s face, this one far smaller and with tiny green fronds curling at its base. He could swear it was waving at him. 
“Say hello,” Killian encouraged. 
“Um, hello, uh, Harriet,” said David. The leaf gave a nod. “Um, what’s it—er, she doing here?”
“Keeping you safe.” 
���Oh. Er. Sure. Thanks?” 
 The leaf nodded graciously, then curled around his face and patted him on the head. 
“You see?” said Killian. “She’s a sweetheart. Just don’t get on her bad side.” 
“Um. Why?” 
Killian grinned. “Show him, Harriet.” 
The leaf released David’s head and reappeared in front of his face. As he watched, it gave a sudden flex and thorns appeared across its surface, close-set and a good inch long, sharp as daggers. David gulped. “Oh.” 
“Aye. But don’t worry, she likes you. She generally likes the people Emma likes.” 
“Well that’s, um, good.” 
“That it is.” Killian gave Harriet a pat. “Let him up, now, love.” 
Harriet unfurled her leaf and slid it out from under him. David sat up, groaning and flexing his aching muscles. “Is it normal to feel this sore?” he asked. 
“Oh yes. The visions take quite a lot out of you. But here, Emma left you this.” He held out a cup of a dark and steaming liquid. David accepted it warily, and gave it a sniff. It smelled earthy and sweet, like nothing he’d encountered before, and when he chanced a tentative sip it was delicious. 
“What is this?” he asked, taking a larger drink.
“Infusion of the lesser burdock root,” said Killian. 
“Oh, well that doesn’t sound too—” 
“Fermented in wild boar dung.” 
David choked and spat out his mouthful of liquid, wheezing and coughing as Killian laughed and clapped him on the back. “Don’t worry, it’s thoroughly washed before they infuse it,” he said. 
“Yea, that’s not really all that comforting.” 
“Drink it up anyway, mate, it’ll soothe the muscle aches and calm your nerves. Just don’t think too hard about it.” 
David squeezed his eyes shut and gulped down the brew as quickly as he could. Within moments his muscles relaxed and his heart rate slowed. He sucked in a deep breath and released it slowly, then opened his eyes. 
“Better?” inquired Killian. 
“Yeah.” He paused, then added “Physically at least.” 
Killian nodded, and sat back in his chair. “You have questions,” he observed. 
“One or two.” 
“Anything you care to ask, I’ll do my best to answer.” 
David rubbed a hand over his face. There was so much to process in what he’d seen, so much about himself that he had never known. He wondered what Killian knew, wondered how the younger man had managed to identify him as a fellow Guardian. How could he possibly have known? Unless… “How much did you see of… of what I saw today?” he asked.
“I saw none of it, not in visions. I told you, that’s your history and yours alone. But I knew the basic details, about your brother and your father, and the reason your mother took you away from the tribe.” 
“Angharad told you.” 
“Aye.” 
“Because you weren’t supposed to be Emma’s Guardian.” 
Killian shook his head. “No. I wasn’t. Originally it was meant to be my brother Liam.” 
David considered Captain Liam Jones, and his stiff gait. “But he was too badly injured,” he murmured.
“Yes. In the battle that killed your father.” 
David looked up sharply. “But he must have been just a child!” 
“He was ten.” Killian swallowed hard, and when he spoke again his voice was strained. “Too young to fight, but not to young to come under attack. Raiders invaded our house, in search of my father. When Liam told them he had fled, they attacked the both of us. I was barely a year old. Liam shielded me, he wouldn’t let me go no matter what they did to him. Even when they smashed his kneecap beyond repair.” 
David recalled the tiny boy who shared his face, racing towards the creek. It seemed he and Killian had more in common then he’d known. “Why were they after you?” he asked gruffly. “And who’s they?” 
“We don’t know,” said Killian wryly. “They didn’t exactly stick around to effect introductions. We only know that they were humans, enemies of the fae, trying to eliminate a Guardian and his sons.” 
“Your father’s a Guardian?” 
“He was,” Killian spat. “Before he ran away and abandoned us. I don’t know if he’s even alive anymore. I don’t care.” He did care though, David thought. The pain of his father’s betrayal remained sharp, even after so many years. But he said nothing, and Killian continued. “At any rate, Liam was left unable to guard the princess, and so the mantle was passed to you.”
“And when my mother took me away—” 
“It came to me, aye. As the very last of last resorts.” He attempted a laugh. “But it must be said that Angharad was never entirely comfortable with me as Emma’s Guardian. She’s highly gifted with Sight and I think she must have known that there was”—he flushed a bright pink and David bit back a smirk—“the potential for deeper feelings between us. But she had, very literally, no other choice.” 
“Are deeper feelings not allowed? Is that why your brother warned you not to fall in love with Emma?” 
“Ah.” Killian scratched behind his ear. “You saw that, did you? Did you also see—”
“Your and Emma’s first meeting?” David did smirk this time. “Yeah.” 
Killian’s flush deepened. “Aye, she, uh, mentioned she might show that to you.” 
“I’m glad she did, actually,” said David. “It was sweet, really, seeing you nearly swallow your own tongue after one look at her.” 
“I didn’t—” Killian began, then caught David’s sardonic expression. “Well, okay, maybe I did,” he conceded. “That’s not the reason she showed you, though.” 
“It’s because you weren’t supposed to get involved with each other,” said David, just a bit smugly. “And she wanted me to understand why in spite of that, you did. Isn’t that it?”  
“You know, I like you better now that you’re not so bloody dense,” Killian retorted, “but it’s also kind of annoying, you actually seeing the things right in front of your face.” 
“Just answer the question, Jones.” 
“Yes,” said Killian shortly. “You’re right. For a Guardian and his charge to fall in love is expressly forbidden. I could be executed for it.” 
“Executed!” 
Killian shrugged. “It’s happened before.” 
“And yet you don’t seem very worried.” 
Killian leaned forward in his chair, his elbows on his knees and his hands clasped. “Those histories you saw, the war against the Black Fairy and the Guardian alliances,” he said, “they happened over four thousand years ago.” 
“Four thousand!” 
 “Indeed. So as you might imagine, a lot has changed since then. The fae population has steadily dwindled while the human one has surged. Magic is no longer widely used or even known, and much of fae history has been wiped from official records. Up to and including the original name of this very building.” 
H.C. Andersen, David thinks. Teller of fairy tales. Because what better way to lessen the fear of something than to turn it into a children’s story? 
 “Meanwhile,” continued Killian, “the Guardians also have been whittled away to almost nothing. My brother out of commission and our father gone. Your father and brother both killed and you taken away. And that’s just in these past twenty years. Of the twelve fae tribes four have retreated entirely from human contact and refuse to have Guardians, and the eight who remain have only twenty-one active Guardians among them. A century ago there were hundreds of us. A millennium ago, thousands.”
David considered this. “But doesn’t that just make it even more reckless for you and Emma to give in to—um—” 
“Our lustful desires?” Killian mocked. 
“Well, er—” 
“Aye, you might well imagine it would,” Killian replied, dropping the mockery with a sigh. “Except that there’s no one left to pass judgement on us. A ruling of execution would have to be proposed and carried by the Fae Council, which hasn’t been convened for centuries. I’m not sure anyone would even know how to convene it if they wanted to. The covenants that we follow are thousands of years old, made in and for a different time. They no longer suit the needs of anyone, fae or human, but of course only the Fae Council has the power to amend them.” 
“Of course,” murmured David, though he found it rather comforting that fae bureaucracy was apparently as useless as the human version. 
“Something has to change,” said Killian, “but no one knows exactly what or how or who is going to change it. So Emma and I decided that we would. Who better than the protector of the tywyll stone and her Guardian to make the decisions that need making? No one has more authority than we do, and we intend to use it. That’s why we’re not afraid anymore to make our relationship known. We’ll face whatever consequences may come and we’ll fight for each other. We’re prepared to do whatever is necessary to build a world where we can be together and be happy.” 
He spoke so calmly and with such assurance, David thought, like there was no doubt in his mind of his feelings or of Emma’s. David thought of Snow—her face as always bright and beautiful and at the forefront of his mind—and a twisty tangle of yearning tightened in his chest. 
“Well, I’m on your side,” he said. “For whatever that’s worth.” 
Killian smiled. “It’s worth quite a lot, mate. For us personally but also because you’re a Guardian. That’s a heritage that can’t be erased; even though you didn’t grow up with it, it’s still yours. Your sword recognised you. You recognised Emma. And Snow, who, by the way, is also a fae princess. You know, just in case you were interested.” His eyes twinkled with mischief as David shot him a sharp look.
“Does—” David cleared his throat. “Does she have a Guardian?” 
“She does. Chap by the name of Lance. Big fellow, many muscles.” 
“I see. But he’s not, er, here?” 
“He’s nearby,” said Killian. “Ready to respond in an instant if he’s called. Guardians don’t actually have to live so close to their charges as Emma and I do, but—well—” 
“You wanted to be near each other.” 
“Aye.” 
David had so many more questions, dozens of them clamouring for his attention, but before he could ask any the door swung open and Emma appeared. 
“Oh, good, you’re awake,” she said. “Everything all right?” 
“Uh, yeah,” David replied. “I think so.” 
“Good, because I think I know what’s going on here. Everyone’s meeting in the common room in five.” 
~
Despite the chill of the night the common room was warm, lit by a bright and crackling fire. David sat on the wide sofa across from the hearth, with Ruby next to him and Graham on her other side. August lounged in the armchair in the corner and Killian in the one next to the fireplace, while Victor leaned against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest. Emma stood in front of the fire with Belle hovering at her side, just visible in the orange light of the flames. Snow wasn’t there—she had volunteered to stay back in the forest to guard the women in their tree-branch prison. David wished she hadn’t—there were things he desperately wanted to tell her, though he knew that, as she would say, now was not the time. 
Emma was silent for a moment as she gathered her thoughts. “So as you all now know, I’m the one who has the tywyll stone,” she said finally, and everyone nodded. “It’s been in my family since the beginning, and it was my ancestor Arianrhod who locked the Black Fairy’s magic into the stone in the first place. All my life I’ve been raised knowing that I would be the stone’s protector and I never once questioned that. It was my heritage, and it was decreed by the covenants. I never questioned any of it, until recently.” She cast a glance at Killian, who gave her a smile and an encouraging nod. “I also didn’t question the instinct that told me to leave the stone behind when those women took me,” she continued. “The instinct that told me that I couldn’t allow the stone to fall into their hands. It wasn’t until I got back home this afternoon that it occurred to me to wonder why. Why would my instincts react so dramatically when those women were so easy to defeat? It troubled me, and the most troubling thing was that I couldn’t figure out why it was troubling. But now I know. It’s their timing.” 
“Timing?” said Ruby. “What do you mean?”
“Okay,” Emma replied, “here’s the deal, everything I was Shown in the scrying mirror. There are three of them, a mother and two daughters. The mother, Cora, she’s human. She’s got no magic and her knowledge of it seems limited to what’s contained in the standard scrolls—the versions of the histories that are available in any human library. She wouldn’t have access to any of the actual fae histories, and if she raised her daughters among humans it’s unlikely they would either.” 
“Sorry,” said David. “But what do you mean by the actual fae histories?”
“The fae store our history in trees,” explained Emma. “Like the purple willow whose bark gave you your visions. The scrolls tell the broad story, but they hold none of the details you get from seeing the events unfold yourself.” 
“So—all of you have seen these visions?” 
“We’ve all seen a version of them,” said Graham. “The ones involving our own ancestors. But the location of the tywyll stone needed to remain secret, so for obvious reasons we weren’t shown the part involving the trapping of the magic.” 
“But then why was I shown that?” 
“Guardians are all shown what you saw,” Killian replied. “We are all descended from Cynbel, the warrior who captured the Black Fairy’s wand.” 
“What, all of us?” 
“All of us. Cousin.” Killian smirked at him. “Cynbel’s tale is the origin of all Guardians, and so we have the right to see it.” 
“So all Guardians know who has the ti—er, the stone?” 
“Yes, and part of our vows include protecting the secret of its location with our lives.” 
“Everything was always about keeping the stone a secret,” said Emma. “So that even if someone did figure out a way to release the Black Fairy’s magic, they wouldn’t know where to look for it.” 
“But somehow this Cora and her daughters figured out where to look for it,” said Ruby. 
“So it seems. But the thing is they don’t actually know what they’re looking for. They don’t even seem to know that the magic is stored in a stone. They only know it’s stored somewhere, and that I have it.” 
“So then they can’t possibly know how to release it,” Ruby cried. 
“Or how to control it even if they did,” Graham pointed out. 
“That’s what it looks like,” agreed Emma. 
“But then why?” Ruby held up her hands in frustration. “Why would she move against you when she’s so unprepared?” 
“That’s exactly what was troubling me,” said Emma. “It didn’t seem to make any sense. She’s so completely unable to do what she plans and yet she’s so confident. Why? And why did my instincts tell me to do whatever I had to in order to keep the stone out of her hands?” 
“Well?” Ruby prodded. “Why?” 
Just then there came the sound of footsteps in the corridor. The door swung open and Snow appeared, rushing into the room followed by a young woman with long, dark hair and bloody scratches covering a face that wore a look of deep apprehension. 
Emma stiffened and threw up her hands, magic sparking and crackling at her fingertips. “What is she doing here?” she snapped. 
“She’s—” began Snow, but Killian was already on his feet. 
“Who is she?” he demanded. 
“One of the women from the forest,” said Emma, and before the words were even fully out of her mouth, the room whirled in a blur of motion. August leapt from his chair as his eyes flared red and his fangs extended. Ruby and Graham’s bodies twisted, fur sprouting from their skin and claws from their fingers, faces elongating into snouts lined with sharp and dripping teeth. Killian drew his sword so fast it was a blur to David’s eyes as he swung it at the woman, stopping a hair’s breadth from her neck. Even Victor stood tense and ready, fingering a razor-honed scalpel he’d retrieved from the goddess knew where, as madness sparked in his eyes. 
“Stop it,” Snow cried, whirling around as she tried to defend against everyone at once. “She’s here as a friend.” 
“She tried to kill me!” snarled Emma, and Killian pressed the edge of his sword against the woman’s skin. She gasped and blinked as a small line of blood appeared beneath it. 
“I—I didn’t,” she stuttered. “I did my best to save you.” 
“That’s not what it sounded like from where I was standing,” retorted Emma. “Or from where I’d been flung on the ground, to be more precise.” 
“You don’t know my mother.” The woman’s tone, despite the sword at her throat and the snarling wolves and the mad scientist, the witch and the freaking vampire, was dry and heavy with irony, and David found himself impressed despite himself by her aplomb. “It’s… unwise to act directly against her,” she continued. “But she can be influenced by suggestion.” 
David could see the gears begin to turn behind Emma’s eyes as she regarded the woman with a probing stare.
“Killian,” she said quietly, and with no more instruction than this her Guardian lowered his sword, though he remained, David noticed, tense and alert. 
“Stand down, chaps,” he instructed. 
In a flash August’s eyes were blue again and his teeth a more expected length. Ruby and August shifted back to their usual forms, and Victor—well, he still looked mad, but at least he put his scalpel away. 
Emma was frowning thoughtfully at the woman. “Snow,” she said. “Why did you bring her here?” 
“She’s my kin,” replied Snow. “Look.” 
She pulled back the sleeve of her jacket to reveal the image of a tree brach curling around her wrist. David had seen the branch before, many times, but had always taken it for a tattoo. Now, though, he watched as it began to move, to wave as though caught in a summer’s breeze, and a bird appeared from out of nowhere to perch upon it. The woman pulled up her own sleeve to reveal the same branch and a very similar bird, and when the two women held their wrists together their branches intertwined and the birds began to sing. 
“Llwyth daear,” said Emma. “Earth tribe. I suppose I should have seen that.” 
“You had other things on your mind,” said Snow. “But I saw it right away. Regina is my uncle’s daughter. My uncle who left the tribe when he fell in love with a human woman. We never heard from him again.” 
“He died,” said the woman—Regina—shortly. 
“Oh.” Snow’s fingers reached out to curl around Regina’s. “I’m sorry.” 
Regina smiled. “Thank you.” 
“Well this is a touching reunion,” drawled August. “But it doesn’t explain why you brought her back here.” 
“For the information, of course,” said Emma, fixing Regina with a pointed look. “She’s here to tell us all about her mother. Aren’t you, Regina.” 
Regina nodded. “I am.” 
— 
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spaceseinensam · 5 years ago
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Denki Kaminari is the traitor and I can prove this through his character design
I actually wanted to analyze all of the character designs of class 1-A, but this theory has been burning in the back of my head for weeks, so now I’m doing the shortened version with just looking at Denki’s part. Hey-ho let’s go.
1.       Lists
First off, we have to create an analytical basis. In my opinion, the students of class 1-A can be separated into 4 different categories in regard to their overall “importance” to the story (I know that sounds rude and I personally hold all the kids very close and dear to my heart, but from a storytelling perspective you got to admit that there are some characters given less screen time or story beats than others and as a result tend to be less important than characters who have lots of flashbacks etc.). The categorization is based on an objective view of the series and I will try to explain why I put certain characters in certain categories along with naming the categories.
1) prime primary characters (100% not the traitor)
Deku, Bakugou, Shouto
These three are the main focus of the series, the protagonists if you will. They get the most screen time, the most flashbacks, and the most backstory information and are untouchable pillars of the story’s groundwork. All two (or three) of them have their own personal character arcs that span longer than just one story arc (see Bakugou slowly learning not to be an absolute gremlin, Deku’s long journey of becoming the hero he wants to be, Shouto learning to deal with his father’s abuse and family situation). Even if you’d say that i.e. Shouto is not important enough to be counted as one of the protagonists, he is still one of the most recognizable characters of the series and definitely on the forefront when it comes to fleshed out characterization.
2) primary characters (70% not the traitor)
Ochako, Tsuyu, Iida, Kirishima
These four characters are the main group surrounding the protagonists and are fundamental as the supporting cast. These include the first two real friends Deku made at UA, Ochako and Iida, as well as Tsuyu and Kirishima. Ochako is here because of her connection with two characters from the prime primary category: she is one of Deku’s closest friends in addition to being clearly framed as his main love interest, as well as being in one of the more important fights from the Sports Festival against Bakugou. Iida is connected to two characters from prime primary as well: like Ochako he’s close friends with Deku, but also shared a lot of spotlight with Shouto during the Stain storyline. Kirishima seems to be only connected to Bakugou at first (being the first one to try to befriend him, reaching out to him during Kamino, being reminded of his strength through Bakugou during his own backstory flashback), but with the recently finished Overhaul arc in the anime he also had his time to shine alongside Deku during that arc. Tsuyu was a bit of a tough case to categorize as she did not have any flashbacks or bigger story arcs for her own (yet), but she is also one of those closest to Deku and did share an emotional moment with him and Shouto after the Bakugou rescue mission. She is also a very recognizable face for the series (so much that my friends who have never touched a piece of BNHA media named her as one of the characters they think are in the series “there’s the protagonist, then this boy with the split hair colours and...That weird frog girl, right?”). Characters in this category have backstory and flashbacks like those from the prime primary category, though these are dealt with and then accepted as a staple in the story, and not ongoing plot structures. Examples for this are the mention of Ochako’s motive for becoming a hero, Iida’s revenge plot and Kirishima’s backstory during the Overhaul arc. These are important story beats that flesh out their characters, but once the arc reaches its end the character growth for the character in question slows down a lot or comes to a halt entirely. Counter example is Bakugou’s ongoing character growth throughout the series, which will remain as an arc throughout the whole thing because of his status as prime primary character. If one of these characters were to be the traitor it would not be a series destroying move, though in my opinion it’s still very unlikely, since these all have proven themselves to be close friends with the prime primary characters, shared emotional moments with them and gave us all a look into their motivations and backstory to a point, where I just think it’d be highly unlikely for one of them to do a 180 and turn out to be ‘evil’. For those already typing that that’s the point, that we should think the traitor is not this close to the protagonists to then be surprised by the reveal, I have to tell you that that is not how story-telling works. If you put a character in a story, make them best or very good friends with the protagonists, make them save and/or help them during tough situations, make them have flashbacks to their own childhood or develop backstory with the prime primary characters by their side, and then reveal them to have betrayed them the entire time without setting it up beforehand, you are not a good writer. Neither Iida nor Ochako nor Kirishima nor Tsuyu have had a situation in which they did or said questionable things or acted in a way that would make one stop for a moment and think about what just happened.  They also all have a very high recognisability for the series and turning one of them ‘bad’ would be way too ground breaking for BNHA. (I know that Hori likes to subvert shounen tropes and such, and I admit that he manages to surprise me a lot, but he still largely follows the main story beats, plot structures and character functions other shounen writers before him did, so I assume that he won’t pull the reverse Uno card and make for example Tsuyu the traitor, because that simply goes too much against the current of shounen and other media of the type).
3) secondary/support characters (very likely to be the traitor)
Mina, Kaminari, Aoyama, Tokoyami, Jirou, Momo, Sero
These characters are sort of there to fill the classroom, but are designed and set up in a way to potentially have backstory and character growth. These are characters that have had small arcs mostly connected to the prime primary and primary characters that weren’t really that in depth or emotional, but are a great set up for more growth. One of them is most likely to be the traitor in my opinion because they kind of stand in the middle: they are recognizable for the series (see for example Mina, Tokoyami, Jirou) and have had short touches with backstory (see Aoyama talking with Deku about him not being compatible with his quirk, Mina having a small part in Kirishima’s backstory), or character development (see Momo showcasing her skills during Joint Training, the current small arc in the anime of Jirou learning to save people through music), but are ultimately kept in the background. To sum it up, they are very clearly meant and designed to be secondary to the main cast of prime and primary characters.
4) full-picture characters (too unimportant to be the traitor)
Hagakure, Koda, Shouji, Ojiro, Sato, Mineta
These are characters which are in my opinion very clearly designed to “just” be background characters, or as I call them “full-picture” characters (in the sense of them filling empty spaces in a class picture). This does not mean they will never get any development, though they are very likely to stay in the background and act as very minor supporting characters to prime and secondary characters. These characters are designed to be very simple and often have a constant joke that goes with them (see Mineta being a pervert, Ojiro being plain) and are meant to create a basis for interactions between prime and secondary characters. They are literally too unimportant to be the traitor, meaning if it was suddenly revealed to be one of them, there’d be no screen time, no real dialogue and no backstory to back it up (up to now). Characters can move from this category to the secondary character category, though this is currently still unlikely. 
Possible spoilers from here on out!
2.       Look at these characters and tell me their personality
Ok, now that I’ve categorized all my precious hero kids into their story-level importance, I think it’s time to point out something that hit me yesterday at 1 AM: I noticed that the more important a character is for the series, the more ‘human’ their character design is. I’ll try to explain: in the world of BNHA it’s very common to have a sort of ‘mutated’ body, most times to accommodate for a quirk, though sometimes the mutation seems a bit random. However, the series is filled with people who have multiple body parts, highly deformed body parts or otherwise bodies that deviate from the to us normal human form. Now let’s look at our kids and their importance levels: all the prime primary characters have completely ‘normal’ human bodies (btw, single-colour colourful hair will not be counted as deviating from the normal human form, this is still an anime we’re talking about). They are all average heights for boys their age, no extra body parts, no deviation from an average anime boy face. Yes, there’s Shouto with his two-coloured hair and two-coloured eyes, but the split only applying to his hair and eyes makes him still look very much like an average human, as opposed to i.e. if his skin was also two-coloured and split in the middle. I think it’s not that surprising for the three main characters of a shounen to look like normal teenage boys, since it’s still a series meant to appeal to a widespread audience and I don’t think that could have been achieved if Deku and his two prime buddies were all heavily mutated. For now, let’s look at the primary characters: Ochako is very humanly designed, no weird mutations or crazy design elements aside from the pads on her finger tips. Iida is also very human, no deviation from the norm in face or body aside from his engine pipes in his calves. Kirishima also looks like the average anime boy, the only time he looks rather ‘inhuman’ is when he fully activates his quirk and goes into Red Riot Unbreakable. Tsuyu is the only one out of the primary characters whose body and face deviate more heavily from the normal human form (though the deviation is also not that crass or remarkable). And what did I say while categorizing her? She is tough to categorize because she hasn’t played that big of a role in the story yet, that she had a few emotional moments with the prime primary and primary here and there, but ultimately she does not have a backstory or major story elements yet. This stands in contrast to Ochako, Iida and Kirishima, who have all had major story beats, flashbacks and important interactions with the prime primary up to now, and are all very much humanly designed, aside from minor deviations that don’t affect their overall picture. Compare Tsuyu constantly standing a bit hunched over, her big feet and hands, her comically large eyes, her large and uniquely drawn mouth and her tongue sticking out to Ochako, who looks like an average anime girl except for the small pink pads on her finger tips.
Hold on. From the 7 characters in the prime primary and primary category, only one deviates a bit more from the human form and coincidentally that one is also the one character out of the 7 who has not have major character growth, backstory, flashbacks and/or the kind of specific interactions with the other characters from the categories yet? Now I’m intrigued. To me it seems the more important a character is for the series, the more human is his character design.
And now, to ask the question we’re all here for: if Hori did not scrap the traitor plotline, wouldn’t it make sense to make the traitor as human as possible? Since the possibility of a traitor was treated very serious during and after the UJ incident, as it posed a threat to the security and well-being of UA, I figured that whoever the traitor is shouldn’t look too, or be connotated with the words ‘joke’, ‘inhuman’ or ‘silly’. Not only would it make the most sense for an average, human looking student to be the least suspected, but it would also make the story-wise hit and drama from a traitor reveal that much more captivating, both for main characters and audience, since then the traitor is not someone they are completely detached from look wise, but someone who looks very close to them or someone they know. If the traitor were to be a student with blue skin, a trunk and six legs, I think it would just take away from the impact of a reveal and make you wonder why nobody noticed the questionable actions of the literal alien.
Since I think we can all agree that the kids in the prime primary category are 100% not the traitor, and the kids from the primary category are also very much not likely to be the traitor because of their major involvement with the protagonists (and the absolute bullshit it would be to make the characters who were established since page 1 to be nice and helpful turn to the bad side without beforehand character development in that direction), that leaves us with the kids from the secondary category and the kids from the full-picture category. The latter I described as being designed for the background; characters who could potentially rise in category once given character development, but who are without backstory or character growth up to now. Let’s look at them: Mineta, Sato, Ojiro, Shouji and Koda all deviate heavily from the standard human form set by the prime primary characters, either by their body size, mutated body parts or facial deviation. As much as it pains me to say this, they are all designed either too far from being ‘normal human’ to be the traitor, and/or have a joke attached to them and their character that would make a possible reveal come off as too comedic or inappropriate. Hagakure is a special case. She has deviations from the human form (having no visible body) but this is a minor deviation compared to the other five in the category. Still she has a joke attached to her (not being visible) and is also kept in the background of the series without having major story beats on her own and, like the other five, acts more as a supporting character to the secondary characters. Overall, the 6 kids in this category all have heavy deviations from the standard human form and a joke attached to their character, which makes them very unlikely traitor material.
Let’s look at the secondary characters in more detail: without revealing too much, the characters in this category are design-wise on the same level as those of the primary characters with very minor bodily deviations from the human form and only some of them have a joke attached to their character. Mina and Tokoyami have the most prominent bodily deviations with having pink skin/horns and a bird head, but let’s take a look at their role in the overall story: Mina is very much a Genki Girl, an enthusiastic bouncy girl, and acts as a support especially to Ochako and Tsuyu. She also played a semi-important role in Kirishima’s backstory, which let us have a look at her childhood/middle school self. That, plus her deviating human form makes it clear: a character like her is very unlikely to be the traitor. Tokoyami has a more severe deviation from the human form, plus he has a semi-joke attached to his character (constantly being serious or dramatic, holding speeches about darkness in archaic language). He also got captured during the Training Camp incident and is friends with Deku since the Sports Festival. Deviating human form, constant joke connotated with character, taken advantage of by the villains: in my opinion, very unlikely to be the traitor. Two characters in this category with very little deviation from the human norm are Jirou and Sero. Jirou has her earphone earlobes as the only deviation, while Sero has his elbows and almost constant big-toothed smile as his bodily and facial deviations. Jirou is one of the counterparts to Mina’s Genki Girl type and also acts as a supporting character for the rest of the girls. While Ochako, Mina and Hagakure can be characterized as enthusiastic, bouncy and happy, Momo and Tsuyu are more of the intellectual and tactical types, with slight tendencies to get bouncy when excited. Jirou is a middle part among the girls, being cool and reserved and not as bouncy as Mina, but also being slightly more brash and offensive than Momo or Tsuyu. She has no real joke attached to her character, but the fact that we have seen her parents and the recent arc in the anime is all about her realizing she can save people through her music (overall being a more light-hearted arc) add to my opinion that she is very unlikely to be the traitor. Sero has his elbows and smile as his deviations from the standard human form and as a member of the unofficial ‘Bakusquad’ he serves as a supporting character to Bakugou, Kirishima and Kaminari. There is no joke attached to his character, but sadly there is also not much more to his character up to now. He’s had minor roles in the Sports Festival and Training Camp Arcs, and often acts with Kaminari as a duo, but compared to him, Sero has had very little overall screen time, very little meaningful dialogue and almost slides off into the full-picture category. The only reason I did not put him in that category is because of his only minor human deviations, but overall he just is not prominent enough in the story to be considered for the role of the traitor. That leaves us with two characters with absolutely no deviations from the human form and one with slight facial deviations, the latter of which is Aoyama who has a very unique facial design among the class. He also has constant jokes attached to his character, one being always looking into the “camera” and breaking the fourth wall, the other being often talking about his fabulous self and acting out in bizarre ways. Another point that paints him very unlikely traitor material is his recent small arc in the anime: starting out with ominous signs towards Deku and acting more weird than usual brought many to the conclusion of Aoyama being the traitor, but as it turns out he was used as bait. The real background for his weird behaviour was him telling Deku about his own quirk, Navel Laser, not being compatible with his body, which is why he needs his support belt. Him and Deku form an emotional bond after this and Deku considers Aoyama his friend from that point forward, and after this incident, Aoyama returns to his usual (though still bizarre) behaviour. If Aoyama would be the traitor character, all the character clues, small flashbacks and emotional development that led up to his scene with Deku would have to be repeated and changed to form the basis for the traitor characteristic. As this is very unlikely to be the case, and Aoyama has had his small brush with character growth, also not forgetting the jokes attached to his character, I think it’s overall given that he will not turn out to be the traitor. That leaves us with Momo and Kaminari.
Momo has no human derivation to herself, as well as no joke attached to her character. She has had small encounters with character growth during all the exam arcs as well as in Kamino, which also sort of is the breaking point for traitor theorists with her: During the attack on the training camp she created a small signal device and got Awase from 1-B to attach it to the villains. This signalling device would later help the Bakugou Rescue Team she was also a part of help to succeed on their mission. There was no need for her to create that device and/or join the rescue team if she was the traitor. I mentioned that there are no jokes attached to her character, though that is not entirely true. There is actually one joke that is sometimes applied to Momo, though it is not constant or particularly deprecating: it is her upbringing as a rich girl, which sometimes makes her detached from the monetary struggles her classmates go through, though this is more treated as a quirky characteristic than a joke. In regard to her being rich, she also invited some of her classmates to her house to study in Season 2, which gave us a look into her home. All the above mentioned facts speak against her having traitorous tendencies, despite being the only complete standard human girl.
3.       The Case for Denki Kaminari
That leaves us with Kaminari Denki, the only boy in 1-A other than some of those from the prime primary and primary categories who 1) has absolutely no deviation from the standard human form, 2) has no constant joke to his character (we’ll talk about his whey in a second) and 3) has enough interaction with characters from both prime primary and primary to almost be considered a primary character. He really looks just like the standard human boy looks in BNHA; the only thing making him stand out look-wise is his hair, which is styled slightly spiky and has the black lightning bolt on his bangs (which is btw not dyed but there since his birth). His trait of ‘being flirty’ is as minor as Momo’s rich girl tendencies and also treated more as a characteristic and not as a joke. Now, I know you’re all pointing to his whey right now. Whenever Denki overuses his quirk and releases too much electricity it fries his brain and he goes dumb for about an hour, sticking up his thumbs, making a dunce face and only being able to talk very slurred. But is this really a joke? Is it not more a supposed additional characteristic of his quirk? Because if you think his whey-phase is a joke, then Tsuyu hibernating when it gets cold is also meant to be laughed at and Momo going tired after creating big things as well. Not to mention that, as many have mentioned before, his whey is something very easily fake able. But let’s jump back to his hair for a second. I know, it’s the most minor thing one can talk about, but isn’t it strange that Jirou and Denki are the only ones out of 1-A other than Shouto who have two-coloured hair? And people have been brushing this off, but the two-coloured hair is like, a major character trait for Shouto and not only represents his two sides and his two quirks, but is also symbolic for the split he feels inside of himself and the colours are representative not only of his parents’ hair, but also of the quirk each side can handle. So why can’t it be symbolic for the other two? Putting Jirou aside, what does the black lightning bolt-like strand in Denki’s hair represent? His quirk? Very plausible, since his quirk is based on electricity. But why is it black? You see, Jirou has a small ECG line in her hair, which is also representative of her quirk (and maybe of her hidden emotional and passionate side), but its colour does not deviate much from her original hair colour (her normal hair is dark purple, the line is light purple). Denki could have had a lightning bolt-like shape in any colour in his hair; he could have even had his hair completely black and the shape in yellow to emphasize it, but he doesn’t. He could have had a completely different hair style, with his hair being styled wildly in all directions away from his head to be symbolic of having an electric shock for example, or his hair having multiple small lightning bolts in it, but he doesn’t. Why is his hair completely blonde, except for the small shape symbolic of his powers in pitch black, almost lying like a dark shadow on the bangs slightly obstructing his face?
Moving away from the hair: if he is really meant to be a rather jokey secondary character with no important backstory, character development or role in the series, why is he designed so humanly and close to the protagonists? He could have had the constant whey-look on his face, be very tall and lanky to resemble a lightning rod, have the before mentioned ‘shocked’ hair-style, have lightning shaped markings on his skin, have antennas on his head that act like TV antennas; he could have had a very wild and from the norm deviating design and it would have fit perfectly for a minor full-picture character. But Denki looks the way he looks and I can’t help but point out that there has to be a reason he looks like that, because character designs have meaning in a story. Why did Hori make Denki such a pretty boy, without any bodily or facial oddities, and have it not matter up to this point? Because let’s face it: out of all the boys without any immediately noticeable deviations from the human norm (Bakugou, Deku, Shouto, Kirishima, Aoyama, Iida, Ojiro, Sero, Denki), Denki is the only one that
1) doesn’t turn out to have major deviations and/or several constant jokes attached to his character (leaving Bakugou, Deku, Shouto, Kirishima, Iida, Sero, Denki)
2) wasn’t pushed into complete irrelevancy due to his role in the class (leaving Bakugou, Deku, Shouto, Kirishima, Iida, Denki)
3) isn’t considered the main protagonists (leaving Kirishima, Iida, Denki)
4) hasn’t contributed majorly to the storyline already plus clearly showing his antipathy for anything villainous and/or helping the main characters in a major situation against said villains
If you take all the above mentioned into consideration and add it to the major points of the Denki-Traitor-Theorists, it all comes together. His ‘initial’ character design for example? Too villainous, too obvious, he needed to look more human to take on the role of someone infiltrating a school and leaking its secrets. Why is Denki designed the way he is? Why is he prominently featured in a lot of promotional art despite seemingly being such a minor secondary support character? Because the groundwork for the revelation of his character is already rooted in his design and his actions.
I’m too tired to talk about all the Traitor!Kaminari points, you gotta look those up yourself if you’re interested.
This is my take on it for now, if y’all want I’ll talk about his hero costume and brand of character some more (which only adds to him being the traitor), but now I just want to get this theory out.
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australian-desi · 4 years ago
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Rest In Peace ~ Sushant Singh Rajput
Hey guys, I was going into a spiral thinking about SSR and everything he went through and I needed somewhere to write my feelings down. There’s so much noise about this on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, I didn’t want to add to the noise, bashing and overall negativity, so found this to be the best place. I’m sorry in advance if I offend anyone. This is going to be very long. 
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Sushant Singh Rajput the Actor and Human:
I’m not going to lie, I wasn’t his biggest fan, not by a long shot. I watched him in Pavitra Rishta every now and then because my mum was obsessed with that show and I used to be confused as to why everyone was obsessed with Manav and Archana - I was 12 years old when the show started and just felt it was another saas-bahu serial. However, to this day it amazes me how Manav and Archana were able to capture their audience for three consecutive years when their story was another saas-bahu serial. It was obviously the actors portraying them, and it takes a lot to grab someone’s attention and keep it on yourself. SSR had that energy. I remember then he came onto Jhalak Dikhlaa Jaa, I watched that show quite religiously because of my love for dance, and was bowled over by how good of a dancer he was. He had perfect lines, and his posture was amazing, I was in awe every time he danced. I remember that in that show he proposed to his then-gf in the cutest way possible, a proposal that is etched into my mind till this day. 
He then left his daily soap, for a career in Bollywood, it was a very risky, bold move because it is a well known fact - Tellywood actors, are rarely able to make good careers in Bollywood. Most of them become irrelevant after their first or second movie. But man was everyone wrong about Sushant. I didn’t watch Kai Po Che, but I remember the buzz around it at the time, everyone was talking about it, and it was one of the biggest movies of that year. He then did Shuddh Desi Romance - a movie I was inclined to watch because he was in it, I was slowly turning into a fan, but I didn’t get the chance to watch it. Then came PK. When PK’s trailer was launched, SSR’s cameo was kept a secret, I remember I was in the theatre and he came onto the screen and absolutely owned it. His performance as Sarfaraz won me over, and a smile still comes to my face when I remember him in the song “chaar kadam”. SSR had an amazing screen presence, he knew how to keep the audience’s attention on himself and a lot of the time you would forget this Sushant Singh Rajput, in fact you would only think of him as his character. The brilliance in his craft was the ability to become his characters completely, to the point you think of them as a real person. The next movie I watched of his was MS Dhoni - a movie that became a sensation. Everyone who went to the movie as Dhoni fans, came back as Sushant’s fan. He deserved that and more. You could see his hardwork, his passion and his dedication in everything he did. I remember when the trailer for Raabta dropped, I was super excited two of my favourite actors - Sushant and Kriti had come together. At that point I started watching more interviews of him and got to know him a little from what he portrayed as a person. Raabta flopped at the box office, however, personally I enjoyed it and I was amazed at the chemistry he had with Kriti Sanon. In Kedarnath, I was so excited that Sara Ali Khan was doing her debut with him, and man both did not disappoint. Kedarnath was an amazing movie and Sushant portrayed his character with utmost conviction. Chichore was the last movie I watched of his and I absolutely loved the movie and him in it. The themes and overall message of that movie hit deep, and it was intelligently made, with comedy mixed with the darker themes, but not taking away from the main message they were trying to convey. Overall, even though I wasn’t a fan of him at the start of his career, he had won me over. 
I also started adoring him as a person. His love for physics and astronomy; his eyes full of curiosity and enthusiasm towards the great unknowns. He didn’t finish his engineering degree, but the childlike wonder he had towards science made me excited as a scientist myself. He showed everyone that he had a brilliant mind and I’ve said this before and I’ll said it again, actors who are educated and well-spoken make me respect them more, they have a different way of thinking, they are eloquent and they show how much education can do for a person. SSR had all of these qualities. I could hear him speak for hours at a time. His instagram posts were always so deep and meaningful, it would make me thing differently, and his 50 things bucket list inspired me to no end. Especially how much he wanted to do for other people and how much he wanted to grow as a person. He also had an infectious smile, his smile used to make his fans smile and it takes a big person to do that. 
SSR’s Death: 
I was doing an assignment when one of my friend’s had sent me the news. I thought it was a hoax at first, but then I googled him, and it was true - Sushant Singh Rajput had committed suicide. Honestly, I’ve been distraught since then, I cried multiple times, and I can’t stop thinking about him, the pain he must’ve felt in order to take this decision, and whenever I saw his sisters or dad I cried even more, the sadness and despair I felt would be nothing compared to theirs, especially because his death was preventable. I’ve never been depressed, I’ve had my fair share of panic attacks and anxiety but I don’t know what depression is. I only know what I’ve studied, that people who are depressed have physiologically different brains to people who are not, they have decreased levels of oxytocin and serotonin, and that they have less grey matter. I’ve also been told that this causes them to not be able to function, they sleep too much, become unable to socialise, and their brain starts to turn them against themselves. However, I believe that there is always an underlying cause of depression. There are triggers for depression, a person doesn’t become depressed over nothing. I know everyone wants to know the trigger; why did he take such a drastic step, but he didn’t leave a note. He left with silence. I know it is difficult, but I feel that we should respect that, however, we should not let him die in vain. 
But I’m going to be real here IT IS NOT OUR PLACE AS THE GENERAL PUBLIC/AUDIENCE OR FANS TO GO ONTO OTHER CELEBRITIES TWITTERS/FB/IG AND CALL THEM MURDERERS. How dare we think that we can blame other people for someone’s death. I don’t care how these people treated him while he was alive, let them mourn him in peace. His death has taught me one thing, not one person is toxic, not one industry is toxic, all of us are. The person who is now checking up on every single person that they usually would not care for because of guilt, the girl shouting all over my timeline that Karan Johar, Deepika Padukone and Alia Bhatt murdered SSR, the boy screaming that x person didn’t post about his death they wouldn’t be affected by this or they don’t care. Every single person. Everyone needs to stop with raging on social media. They need to take a step back and breathe, and mourn and let others mourn. 
My take on Nepotism and Bollywood: 
Here’s the crux of the issue. Bollywood. I’m your average desi girl, I’ve grown up watching bollywood, being obsessed with it. To the point that at a certain time I only watched Bollywood. Then the whole nepotism scandal hit. I remember thinking to myself then, what’s the big deal? Also did people really not think about this until an actress had to come speak about it on national television? Did no one realise that Bollywood has been preferring starkids over other talents for decades? I used to think that yeah, Bollywood has nepotism, but where does nepotism not exist. The truth is nepotism exists everywhere. A doctor’s child becomes a doctor. A business man’s child becomes a businessman etc. But here’s the thing, the doctor’s child has to work towards becoming a doctor, he/she has to go through the same steps that other non-doctor children have to do. The only advantage they get is, that their parents might be able to help prepare them for what’s coming, and it’s not like every doctor has doctor parents, both people get equal opportunity. The child of a doctor just has more insight. However, in Bollywood, there is no equal ground, it isn’t as if a starkid only has it easy to get their first movie. Nope, they sign their second or third movie before their first one releases. Take Sara Ali Khan for example, she had already signed Simmba, before Kedarnath had released. Now take Anushka Sharma, she didn’t get her second movie two years after the release of her first one. Nepotism does exist, it will exist, but in other industries, the people who aren’t a product of it are still able to get promoted, to do good work and receive equal opportunity. However, in Bollywood this is not the case. It has never been the case. This needs to change. This needs to desperately change. Especially because nepotism didn’t use to be as bad, as the products of nepotism were still talented, but now, they are not, and SSR’s death can bring this change, because Bollywood is losing it’s credibility, and as I consider Bollywood my own, my home, I want it to do better. Actors who come from non-film backgrounds and television deserve to share space in mainstream cinema with those who do come from film backgrounds. 
Where From Here
In the past couple of years, we’ve become a horrible society. We pretend to like people when we meet them, and then bitch about them behind their back. We also think that whatever comes to our heads we can say to whatever celebrity the way we want because them being public figures is an open invitation for us to say hurtful things to them which normally we would not say if we meet them in person. We are the people who cry about nepotism, and then when a movie doesn’t have a big star in it we go “we’ll watch it at home, if we have time, why waste money going to the cinema”. We are the same people who cry about mental health issues and to raise awareness, when we think its absolutely fine to give a celebrity death threats because of a comment they made. We are also those people who cry about how SSR was treated unfairly, when we had a chance to go see his movies but didn’t. Who gave us this authority to be able to judge? Who gave us the right? If we won’t talk to other people with such disrespect in real life, why can we over the internet? WE. NEED. TO. DO. BETTER. AS. A. SOCIETY. 
We need to stop shaming people, we need to support artists that aren’t star kids, but also support star kids. They don’t deserve the hate they get either. It isn’t completely their fault that they are given more opportunity. It’s our fault too. We are the ones who make them successful. Directors know that they could sell more tickets with Ranbir Kapoor on the poster than Sushant Singh Rajput, even if Sushant Singh Rajput is a better artist. We need to support both talents. We need to show filmmakers as an audience, that both artists should be given equal opportunity. That the only thing nepotism should do for a starkid is just give them insight on what a life of an actor is like. That is all. They should also go to auditions, they should also be accepted or rejected based on talent. And for the love of god, we need to stop getting celebrities to judge other celebrities based on acting skills and sex appeal. it’s 2020, we can do better. 
Also to anyone who’s having any sort of dark thoughts. Please, I beg of you talk to someone. There is someone who loves you; your parents, siblings, teachers, friends, family, that brown guy in your dms. And if you truly don’t know anyone that you can talk to, talk to a therapist on a free hotline. My inbox is also always open if you want to chat. 
To Sushant Singh Rajput - I will miss seeing you at the movies, your smile and your interviews, and how much of an inspiration you were to me. I hope you are at peace now, and finally found happiness. 
For anyone who read this - thank you for reading my absolute ramble and I hope I made sense 
Here’s a dumb joke to make you hopefully smile a little, or at least roll your eyes: What do you call bacteria found in Agra? Agraculture - does this even make sense. IDK. All I want to say is, that I’ve been an absolute dukhi aatma for the past couple of days, and now its time to smile, and look at some positives. 
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crimson-snowfall · 5 years ago
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Hello ! I absolutely love your headcanons, so when I saw your askbox was open I jumped in. I wanted to Ask a headcanon for the ikevamp suitors (if you can't do all of them I really love Mozart, Napoléon, Vincent and Arthur... But I must admit that if you could do all of them it would be fantastic :)) ) with a MC with an eating disorder ? Because this was not really common during their Time and I Wonder how they would react ? Thank you so much and continue with the good work !)
Hey there sorry for the wait, I tried to do all characters but I’m simply running out of time (there are still 7 requests after this and I might close my ask box once uni starts again), so I did 8 of them… which is 2/3 of them all so I hope that’s fine with you too.
A little disclaimer, this topic kinda scared me at first because gone are the days of the internet where people don’t get offended by literally anything. Anyway MC’s eating disorder here is nothing too extreme, she just eats way too little to the point that the suitors can’t help but worry over how unhealthy it is sometimes.
Ikevamp HC request: Reacting to MC with eating disorder (Napoleon, Leo, Arthur, Vincent, Theo, Isaac, Dazai, Comte)
Napoleon
Napoleon is notably bewildered since he has ruled an empire in a time where famine is still a common occurrence. He asked you if famine occurs as often in the modern world, to which you reply that it doesn’t.
He genuinely wonders what could’ve brought about such condition in a time where food is abundant, so he turns to Sebastian for further enlightenment and advice.
As soon as Napoleon gained a deeper understanding about your condition and how certain standards from the society you came from might’ve had brought it about, he wrote down a list, which includes his favorite dishes, as well as the particularly scrumptious foreign dishes he had tasted in his human life.
Napoleon makes good use of his culinary talent, and uses your curiosity over the variety of dishes you’ve never seen in your life as a motivation to discover more recipes so he can keep on feeding you new things and keep you healthy.
Leo
At some point in his life, Leo was a vegetarian, so he knew what it’s like to have people questioning your choices in food. Thus, it comes naturally that he out of all the residents in the mansion would understand you the most.
However, he acknowledges the fact that you’re eating way too less than you should, so he has found a way to subtly make sure you’re still getting enough nutrients from what little you eat.
Leo has put his genius mind into work by extracting essential nutrients from natural ingredients and somehow converted them into spices. He has discretely asked Sebastian to put them in your meals. The rich taste enhanced your appetite and improved your preference for certain meals.
Arthur
Upon hearing about your condition, Arthur takes it as a challenge to keep you healthy without overstepping your boundaries, and without you realizing that he’s began to give you some special treatment.
Your dates became more often and Arthur has kept a watchful eye on you every time you eat, rigorously taking a mental note on your eating habits and compiling this data so he can better deduce what foods you prefer from the rest.
Once Arthur has completed this period of initial observation, he immediately puts his plan into action. Every other day, Arthur would bring you breakfast in bed, where he would serve you the dishes he figured you like the most.
At first his cooking is average, but as he continued observing you, in several months he managed to perfect the array of meals that gives you a well-balanced diet.
Vincent
Vincent grew very concerned upon learning about your condition and tries to find out more about it. In fact, he’s become so pre-occupied with the thought as to what food you may like that he subconsciously ended up painting a lot of portraits of food.
The food in his paintings looked insanely mouthwatering to you, and you ended up having cravings for those foods. Once Vincent had realized this, he asked Sebastian for the list of dishes that would be served for the next few days, and painted them.
Your appetite has considerably improved in the following days and overtime has gradually approached satisfactory levels of normal food intake. Thankfully, Theo doesn’t seem to mind his brother had developed a habit of painting food every other day.
Theo
One time, you fainted from eating so little, which earned you a severe scolding from Theo. The two of you got into a heated argument, and it is only when you explained to Theo about your condition did he calm down.
Theo apologized to you the next day, but told you that you can’t keep doing that to yourself and he will definitely figure out a way to keep the incident of you fainting from happening again.
Theo doesn’t want to be forceful about it, so he takes it slowly but surely. One day he told you that he believes that “Food becomes more enjoyable when you share it with your loved ones,” and asked you if you would like to eat his pancakes with him.
With his method, you eventually acquired his addiction for pancakes, but Theo knows you need more than pancakes to stay healthy. That’s how Theo began making his own pancakes for you with secret ingredients he researched himself that will provide you with all your other basic nutritional needs.
Isaac
As a vampire with an unusual condition that gives him an extraordinary appetite, Isaac can relate to you one way or another.
Isaac thinks of your condition in a similar way he thinks of his, that you have no control over it and thus you can expect him to be the last person who’s going to tell you that it’s your choice to be like that.
However, Isaac still feels bad for you because on the other hand, he has you to satisfy his hunger. So he thought that the least he could do for you is to give you something in return for always sating his hunger.
It surprised you when Isaac suddenly got into cooking. While the meals he prepares for you certainly does end up tasting strange, you just can’t have enough of his cooking after seeing him put in the effort and the embarrassed expression he makes when he asks if you if it even tastes edible.
Dazai
Dazai listens attentively to you as you explain your condition to him. He looked like his usual whimsical self as he offered you some words of comfort about it.
Unbeknownst to you, Dazai was already coming up with an idea on how he could possibly help you with your condition as you told him about it.
Every now and then, you would find a neatly wrapped box of bento on your bed. Being stuck in 19th century France, you couldn’t help but miss Japanese food so you end up having a feast to yourself every time this happens. Not to mention how ridiculously good the dishes taste.
Dazai skillfully dodges any confrontation about it but that unmistakable genuine smile of contentment you rarely see on his face afterwards confirms your suspicions. You’re curious whether Dazai prepares these dishes himself, but knowing that he goes to such lengths to keep you healthy deeply warms your heart.
Comte
Comte’s expression didn’t show it, but he was a bit horrified to hear about your eating disorder (mainly because he feels like he can’t spoil you that much on your fancy dates with him). The next time the door to the modern time opened, he didn’t return for at least three days.
In the time that he spent in the modern world, Comte got in touch with a team of health and diet experts and sought advice on how to deal with your condition. Of course, he hasn’t told you about this.
The changes were not abrupt, so you didn’t notice how the meals being prepared for you changed in variety and nature overtime, but whatever it is, it was doing a good job of promoting your appetite.
You also noticed new dishes in the menu of the fancy restaurants he often takes you to, which reminds you of the unique assortment of ingredients in the meals you usually have in the mansion.
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Next HC request will be up in a few hours or so because I got busy with enrollment yesterday and couldn’t post one for yesterday, thanks for being patient with me~
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drkfought · 4 years ago
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   ─         the  mirrors  surrounding  you  did  as  they  were  meant  to ,  reflecting  back  a  spitting  image  of  jensen  ackles    -    but  it’s  clear  something  is  wrong  from  the  moment  that  a  vision  of   𝘫𝘢𝘤𝘬  𝘥𝘦𝘧𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨  𝘨𝘰𝘥   strikes  you .    perhaps  it  was  a  passing  daydream  in  the  frenzy  of  the  funhouse .    you  reassure  yourself    -    you’re  𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐍  𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑 ,   a   𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘺  𝘰𝘯𝘦   year  old   𝗙𝗜𝗥𝗘  𝗖𝗛𝗜𝗘𝗙   whose  virtue  lies  in  your   + loyalty   &   + selflessness ,  although  you’ve  been  told  that  you  tend  to  be  quite   - short  tempered   &  - self  loathing ,  and you’re associated with  𝒇𝒓𝒆𝒄𝒌𝒍𝒆𝒔  𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒅  𝒃𝒚  𝒔𝒄𝒂𝒓𝒔  𝒂𝒄𝒓𝒐𝒔𝒔  𝒔𝒌𝒊𝒏,  𝒄𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈  𝒈𝒍𝒂𝒔𝒔  𝒃𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒉  𝒃𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒅𝒚  𝒌𝒏𝒖𝒄𝒌𝒍𝒆𝒔,  𝒕𝒉𝒆  𝒓𝒐𝒂𝒓  𝒕𝒐  𝒓𝒖𝒎𝒃𝒍𝒆  𝒕𝒐  𝒑𝒖𝒓𝒓  𝒐𝒇  𝒂𝒏  𝒆𝒏𝒈𝒊𝒏𝒆,  𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒊𝒏𝒆𝒅  𝒃𝒍𝒖𝒆  𝒋𝒆𝒂𝒏𝒔  𝒂𝒏𝒅  𝒇𝒍𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒍  𝒕𝒐𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒅  𝒂𝒄𝒓𝒐𝒔𝒔  𝒂  𝒃𝒆𝒅 ,  by  those  around  you .    suddenly,  however,  you’ve found   𝐉𝐎𝐇𝐍'𝐒  𝐉𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐍𝐀𝐋   on  your  person    -    was  that  always  there ?     from  the  moment  you  leave  the  funhouse ,  memories  from  your  life  in   𝙨𝙪𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙣𝙖𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙖𝙡   have  begun  to  return   -   leaving  whoever  you  had  been  before  in  the  mirror’s  reflection  behind  you .    you  can  almost  hear   𝚁𝙰𝙼𝙱𝙻𝙴  𝙾𝙽   by  𝙻𝙴𝙳  𝚉𝙴𝙿𝙿𝙻𝙴𝙸𝙽  following  in  your  wake .
hi  i  love  dean  winchester  so  stinkin’  much   ...   i  am  ....  so  excited .    he  deserves  a  life  where  he  wasn’t  hunting  monsters  all  the  time !    one  where  he  got  a  job   &   had  kids   &   is  just  living  life !    let  dean  have  a  life !
full name :     dean  henry  winchester . alises :   the  righteous  man .   the  sword  of  michael .   squirrel . age :   forty  one . gender & pronouns :   cis male ,  he / him . sexual & romantic orientation :    bisexual / biromantic . species :   human . identifying  marks :    multiple  scars  across  his  body .   some  looking  like  they  came  from  knives ,  others  from  guns .    his  memory  on  how  he  got  most  of  them  is  fuzzy
    ─        𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍  𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄 .
i  will  try  to  make  this  short .    dean  was  born  to  mary   &   john  winchester   &   for  four  years  he  had  the  most  simple  apple  pie  life  a  four  year  old  could  ask  for .    in  1983 ,  a  demon  went  into  the  winchester  house  to  visit  their  newborn  son :  dean’s  younger  brother  sam .    when  mary  interrupted  the  demon’s  visitation ,  he  killed  her .   slashed  open  her  stomach   &   burned  her  on  the  ceiling .    dean’s  father ,  john ,  witnessed  the  terrible  end  of  his  wife’s  life   &   though  he  made  it  out  alive  with  both  sam   &   dean ,  the  event  would  irreversibly  change  him .
john  became  obsessed  with  discovering  what  it  was  that  killed  mary .   he  learned  to  hunt  the  supernatural   &  ruthlessly  trained  his  sons  to  do  the  same .    dean’s  toddler  life  of  toys  turned  into  tinkering  with  guns ,  his  warm  bed  into  dirty  motels ,   &   his  carefree  existence  into  only  worrying  over  his  younger  brother .    he  became  the  perfect  killer  but  it  took  a  toll  on  him .    his  father ,  far  from  perfect  even  before  this ,  became  harsh  on  dean .   molding  him  until  he  was  more  dutiful  soldier  than  he  was  boy .   dean  did  everything  his  father  asked  &  followed  his  every  order  with  blind  faith   &   even  then  he  would  never  be  the  perfect  son  to  john .    sam ,  on  the  other  hand ,  rebelled  against  the  life  john  gave  them .   though  dean  tried  constantly  to  settle  their  explosive  arguments  as  best  he  could  no  matter  his  thoughts  on  the  matter  at  hand ,  desperate  for  peace  between  the  two ,  he  still  couldn’t  stop  sam  from  running  away  in  the  end .    he  wanted  to  hate  sam  for  it  at  first ,  but  he  never  could .
years  later  when  john  went  missing  on  a  hunt ,  dean  reached  out  to  his  estranged  brother  for  help .   the  job  was  supposed  to  be  a  simple  one  but  after  coming  back  unsuccessful  to  the  tragic  death  of  sam’s  girlfriend  ( same  as  their  mothers ,  in  fact )   sam  entered  back  into  his  life  for  good .   
though  the  plots  of  both  heaven   &   hell ,  sam  &  dean  became  pawns  in  the  story  of  the  world’s  end .    the  apocalypse  slowly  set  into  motion  &  started  with  the  winchesters  at  the  center  of  it  all .    even  though  they  managed  stop  the  world’s  end ,  though ,  it  was  hardly  the  last  threat  to  humanity .    as  years  passed ,  the  brothers  found  themselves  thrust  into  apocalypse  after  apocalypse .     an  endless  cycle  that  they ,  eventually ,  discovered  was  god’s  doing  all  along .   they  were  simply  the  main  characters  of  a  never  ending  tragic  story  that  god  was  writing .    furious ,  the  two  brothers ,  with  help  from  their  rebel  angel  best  friend  &  the  half  angel  son  on  lucifer  himself ,  devised  a  way  to  defeat  god  for  good .    in  the  end  they  succeeded .   jack ,  the  mentioned  son  of  lucifer ,  took  god’s  place  after  his  defeat .    the  world  is  their’s  in  the  end .   they ,  for  the  first  time ,  get  to  choose  their  own  paths .
   ─        𝐀𝐋𝐔𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃  𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄 .
there  was  still  a  fire  at  the  winchester  house  when  dean  was  four  years  old .    an  accident  this  time .    an  electrical  fire .     a  normal  tragedy .     their  mom  was  still  lost  but  dean ,  holding  onto  the  bundle  that  was  his  little  brother ,  watched  as  the  fire  fighters  pulled  his  dad  from  the  flames .     sitting  with  them ,  brother  in  his  arms ,  while  they  consoled  him   &    let  him  wear  their  helmets  would  always  be  a  far  more  comforting  memory  to  dean  than  the  ones  his  father  gave  him  in  the  years  to  come .    john  winchester  became  distant .   negligent .    borderline  abusive .    dean  did  his  best  to  take  the  bulk  of  what  their  grief  drowned  father  put  on  them ,  trying  to  shield  sam ,   &  gave  a  lot  of  his  life  to  helping  raise  sam  where  john  fell  short .   they  moved  around  a  lot ,  finally  settling  in  alucard  when  dean  was  around  seventeen .
when  he  was  a  late   teen  if  he  wasn’t  at  home  or  sneaking  out  for  a  smoke   &   some  girls ,   dean  worked  at  being  a  volunteer  firefighter .    it  was  something ,  he  thought ,  slightly  productive  to  do  with  his  life  as  it  was  already  obvious  to  him  that  he  wouldn’t  be  able  to  go  to  college  with  sam  still  needing  him  around .   at  age  eighteen ,  with  his  high  school  diploma  stating  he  graduated  with  average  grades ,  dean  officially  joined  the  fire  force  at  an  entry  level   &   began  saving  up  money  for  his  own  place .    a  place  away  from  his  father  but  close  enough  that  sam  could  use  it  to  get  away  at  any  time  as  well .   though ,  as  the  year  went  on ,  he  found  that  john  would  have  been  unlikely  to  allow  dean  to  live  under  his  roof  anyway .    
dean  was  notorious  with  women   &   thought  himself  as  careful  but  clearly  not  as  careful  as  he  thought .    when  he  found  out  he  was  going  to  be  a  dad  at  eighteen  he  initially  rejected  the  idea ,  wanting  nothing  to  do  with  the  child  out  of  fear  of  turning  into  his  father .    sam  was  the  one  who  talked  him  down  from  the  anxiety .   with  his  encouragement ,  dean  slowly  worked  to  learn  how  to  be  a  parent .   preparing  a  room .    reading  parenting  books .   anything .    it  came  as  a  shock  a  month  before  the  due  date  to  when  he  found  out  the  mother  was  backing  out  of  keeping  the  child .    she  had  been  the  one  initially  for  raising  it  at  first  but  suddenly  felt  she  couldn’t  do  it .    though  he’d  be  on  his  own ,  dean  had  steeled  himself  to  becoming  a  father  too  much  to  let  the  girl  to  go  up  for  adoption .    beverly  winchester  was  born  feburary  13th   &   dean  took  full  custody  as  her  sole  guardian .    he  kept  in  touch  with  bevery’s  mother  still ,  who  went  on  to  study  psychology  outside  alucard .
being  a  single  father  was  far  from  easy  but  dean  managed ,  always  taking  help  where  he  could  from  his  brother  or  from  friends .    one  friend  even  got  closer  than  others .    when  beverly  was  nearing  three  years  old ,  dean  started  seeing  a  foreign  exchange  student  from  england  who  was  taking  classes  at  the  local  university   &  the  casual  feeling  of  the  affair  wasn’t  there  for  long .    things  blossomed  into  something  serious   &   when  it  was  discovered  she  was  pregnant ,  this  time  dean  was  far  more  sure  about  things  than  when  he  was  twenty .     the  wedding  was  small    &   around  nine  months  later  dean  became  a  father  of  two  as  simon  joined  the  winchester  family .  
for  a  few  years  this  seemed  the  perfect  arrangement .    dean  worked  up  through  the  ranks  at  the  station ,  setting  himself  up  to  be  the  new  fire  chief  one  day ,   &   raised  his  kids  happily  with  his  wife .    but  perfect  sometimes  doesn’t  last  long .    their  relationship ,  after  all ,  had  been  a  rushed  one .    after  around  six  years ,  things  simply  didn’t  have  the  same  spark  as  they  used  to .     the  divorce  wasn’t  nasty ,  they  knew  it  was  a  mutual  thing ,  but  it  still  stung .     he  left  the  court  as  a  single  father  again ,  now  with  joint  custody  of  his  son .    he  didn’t  seen  simon  much  after  the  divorce .   shortly  after ,  he  &  his  mother  moved  back  to  england  which  dean  was  always  bitter  about .    though  simon  came  to  visit  sometimes   &   dean  called  whenever  he  could ,  he  always  felt  like  he  was  far  from  the  boy .
at  fourty  one ,  years  later ,  he’s  gotten  well  back  on  his  feet .    no  serious  relationships  seem  to  stick  but  at  work  he’s  finally  gotten  fire  chief .    he  misses  being  in  the  middle  of  the  action  sometimes ,  but  he  loves  his  job  nonetheless .     if  not  at  work  he’s  visiting  his  brother ,  the  bar ,  fixing  his  car ,  or  dedicating  time  to  beverly   &   simon  who  has  recently  moved  to  alucard  to  be  around  dean ,  much  to  his  delight .    as  his  life  is  coming  back  to  him ,  though ,  it  is  stressing  him  out .   the  world  was  already  dangerous  without  remembering  monsters .    he  feels  as  though  this  is  just  another  story  he’s  now  lived  out   &   isn’t  even  sure  whats  real .
  ─        𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑  𝐈𝐍𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 .
father  to  BEVERLY  MARSH  &  SIMON  SNOW  in  alucard .    he  will  absolutely  go  off  on  you  if  you  are  mean  to  his  kids .    yes ,  this  includes  other  kids  who  bully  his  kids .   he  doesn’t  care  he’ll  yell  at  you  for  being  an  asshole  no  matter  your  age .   absolutely  no  one  messes  with  his  kids .
has  had  beverly  around  since  she  was  born  but  has  seen  simon  infrequently  since  he  was  about  six  since  simon’s  mother  took  him  back  to  england  with  her .    he  doesn’t  love  simon  any  less ,  but  he ‘s  struggling  with  fact  they  don’t  know  each  other  as  well  as  dean  would  like .    he  hates  that  his  son  grew  up  so  far  away  from  him  with  visits   &   phone  calls  too  few   &   far  in  between .
is  also  now  having  to  cope  with  the  fact  that ,  in  this  new  life  he  remembers ,  he  doesn’t  even  HAVE  his  kids .    closest  thing  he  has  to  a  child  there  is  jack   &   he  doesn’t  even  know  if  jack  is  okay .
still  has  the  impala  here .    can’t  have  dean  without  his  car .
while  he  is  the  fire  chief ,  fixing  cars  is  a  huge  hobby  of  his .    if  he  didn’t  love  his  job ,  he  would  absolutely  leave  it  to  work  as  a  mechanic  at  the  local  garage .
while  he  mostly  works  on  his  car  himself ,  he  still  brings  his  car  to  the  garage  a  few  times  a  year  for  things  that  his  own  garage  doesn’t  have  the  tools  for .   they  know  him  there  from  his  recognizable  car .
his  father  has  been  alive  for  sometime  but  he’s  recently  found  out  he  died  from  a  stroke  in  his  sleep .   dean  is  stuck  between  the  duty  of  giving  his  father  a  proper  funeral   &  his  own  bitterness  at  the  man  for  how  he  treated  him   &  sam .     this  is  only  worsened  by  the  memories  of  john  that  will  come  back .
he  is  bisexual !   because  i’ve  watched  this  show   &   have  eyes !    i  know !    is  he  repressed   a  lot   &  hasn’t  exactly  had  an  offical  coming  out ?   also  yes !    doesn’t  mean  he  HASN’T made  out   &   gotten  with  a  guy  or  two  in  the  past .   just  means  he  never  felt  like  he  could  say  anything  about  it  all  growing  up   &   now  just  figures  it’s  too  late .
uuuuuuuuuuuuh   anyway .    i’ll  add  to  this  more  if  i  think  of  more .
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demonwifey · 5 years ago
Note
I was wondering if you could write a fic where the reader has a think for beetlejuice’s voice. Like a voice kink.
I struggled with it a little bit  because I’ve barely written full on smut before so I hope you guys enjoy. I decided to do a different take and do a succubus reader instead of a human reader.
But still got through it and @paxenera actually got an ask like this as well so go check hers out too!💚💜🖤
Warnings: NSFW +18, succubus!reader 
Word Count: 3,453
After a full 2 weeks in the human world Y/N was finally home. Back to the grim darkness that filled the sky. Back to the eerie sounds of wails and moans on the air. Back to a never ending sight of the dead walking around freely. The Netherworld. Home, sweet home. 
****
And it wasn’t easy being one of the Netherworld’s most infamous succubi. Y/N took the position after having met an early death when she was only 27. She practically lived a boring life when so why not find something a little more exciting and fulfilling in her after life. That’s when her case worker assigned her to work at the hottest Netherworld brothel, Dante’s Inferno. After spending what seemed like 3 months, actually 2 years in human time, she worked her way up to a full fledged succubus. 
Of course, being a succubus came with it’s ups and downs. The upside was that Y/N felt more alive than ever. She had sexual power over desperate men. They made her feel in control in every single way. But that was also the downside. Her victims were only in it for their pleasure. They wanted her to take control as they filled their fantasies of being dominated by a sexy seductress demoness. But sometimes she wanted…less. Maybe Y/N wanted someone else to take control. Maybe she wanted to give the power to someone else.And there was only one man that gave Y/N exactly what she wanted. And his name was Beetlejuice. 
The demon man came into her life just a year after fully becoming a succubus. The two ran into each other at Dante’s Inferno. Y/N was back to visit her old brothel friends and Beetlejuice was there for a good time. He spotted Y/N as soon as he walked in the door and knew he had to talk to her. The other succubi warned her not to mess around with Beetlejuice but Y/N was way too intrigued. After a night of endless flirting, she pulled the demon man into what used to be her old room. And the two were hooked on each other since 
The pair were like ‘friends with benefits’. But friends that had deep mutual underlying feelings for each other that they would never admit. Whenever Y/N was home she would invite Beetlejuice over. While sex was one of their main bonds, they still just enjoyed each other’s company. Y/N loved Beetlejuice’s sweet talk and the ability to make her laugh. Beetlejuice loved her dominant personality and the fact that she always listened to him talk about anything. 
Although Y/N genuinely liked listening to Beetlejuice’s wild stories, she also had her own selfish reasons for being so engaged; she loved listening to man’s voice. Most people in the Netherworld thought of Beetlejuice’s voice as literal nails on a chalkboard. But whenever she heard his deep scratchy voice scream out “Babes!” when he walked in the door, it drove her wild. Don’t even get her started on when they have sex. Hearing Beetlejuice’s voice moan and grunt over her was like she’d been sent to heaven. 
Y/N wasn’t actually sure if Beetlejuice actually knew about her secret fixation or not; spoiler alert, he did. And she always took note at how he’d get more vulgar when telling certain stories. His yelling and swearing louder at the peak of a story made Y/N more aroused than she’d like to tell. And, of course, he’d never complained when she stopped him mid-sentence to attack his lips in a fever-ish kiss.      
****  
Y/N walked out of her bathroom finally feeling refreshed from a steaming shower. Although she loved her succubus title, she hated the stench that would linger after spending a night with a human man. The smell of desperation and sex was perfect in the moment but she wanted it off of her once the high came down. Although many Netherworld occupants didn’t feel the need to follow basic hygiene since they were dead, Y/N did. 
She sat down on her bed and pulled her long coily black hair into a low ponytail. After every feeding, the purple tips in Y/N’s hair would go back to their beaming tint. It symbolized that her demon needs were met. But yet again, her personal needs weren’t met. 
While she was gone, Beetlejuice was also gone. Out trying to find unsuspecting humans to say his name three times. Another one of his far fetched plans that Y/N listened to but never took too seriously. And although both demons were in the human world, they never found time to see each other. Y/N was handling her own responsibilities so she never had time to stop and entertain the green haired demon. 
As Y/N walked into her living room, she looked around for something to do. She was dressed in only her silk black robe and a pair of lace black panties with her breast remaining free. She plopped herself down on the couch and let her brain think. One of the many sources she had of entertainment was Beetlejuice. But he was gone so she had to find something else to keep her busy. Maybe she could just rest and rela-
*RIIIING*
Y/N rolled her eyes and groaned loudly. It was finally her day off and some random person had to interrupt that. Y/N got up from the couch and headed to the kitchen. Everything in the Netherworld was vintage and antique. Which made the 20 year old in her excited when she first moved in and saw an old landline phone hanging on the kitchen wall. This had better not be those dead football players again, she thought. Y/N grabbed the phone after the 4th ring. 
“Hello~?” Y/N said in her now normal seductive tone. One of the things her mentors taught her was to always answer the phone like she was a sex operator. ‘It adds character’, they always said.   
“Well, well, well. Look who finally decided to answer their phone.” The all too familiar voice of Beetlejuice echoed through the phone. Y/N felt a faint shiver run down her spine. She was caught up in her own thoughts for a second before clearing her voice and speaking again. 
“H-hey, Beetlejuice. Long time no see, or hear, I guess.” She stammered a bit. Dammit, she was supposed to be one of the fiercest succubi in all of the Netherworld. Yet here she was losing that whole persona over a demon who wears stripes for a living. 
“And whose fault is that, babes? I’ve called you like 100 times and you’ve never answered.” Beetlejuice claimed with a mock snarky attitude. Y/N scoffed.  
“Okay, I’ve been in the human world working. Not all of us get to be free ghosts that come and go as we please.” She shot back, playfulness all in her voice. She then leaned her body against the wall next to the phone. 
“You were in the human world? Why didn’t you tell me, babycakes? I could’ve made arrangements to see you!” Beetlejuice practically screamed through the phone.
“I did tell you, Beetlejuice. You just have very selective hearing when your hands are on my ass.” Y/N explained and the phone grew silent for a moment.  
“…As true as that may be, we are going to disregard that.” Y/N laughed at the demon’s comment. That’s when he proceeded to tell Y/N about the new couple he was watching, the Maitlands. An average, middle class, white suburban couple. Apparently it was almost their time to die and Beetlejuice was going to use them to haunt their house. While listening to Beetlejuice mouth off about the couple, she moved back into the living room. Sitting herself back on the house while twirling the phone’s spiral cord between her fingers. 
“Is that why you called, BJ? To tell me your new master plan? And how are you calling me from their anyway?”
“Oh, the Maitlands have an old rotary phone in their attic. Apparently the husband, Adam, likes to collect antiques. And I called cuz’ I wanted to check on you, duh. Gotta make sure my babes is okay.” Beetlejuice attempted to mumble the last part but the demoness still heard him. Pulling her finger out of the phone cord, Y/N placed her hand over her heart.
“Aw, isn’t that sweet? Mr. ‘Ghost with the Most’ does have a beating heart after all.” She mocked. This time Beetlejuice scoffed.
“Don’t go spreading it around, kitten. It only beats for you.” Y/N would’ve dived more into that last part had she not been too distracted by the pet name he used. Hearing his scratchy voice call her ‘kitten’ aroused her more than she’d like to admit. She squirmed in her spot on the couch, rubbing her exposed thighs together.  
“Mmm, Beej you know how much I love it when you call me kitten~” Y/N purred out. She began moving the hand on her chest down the front of her body. His gritty voice mixed with the silk of her robe against her body was making her more and more aroused by the second. 
“Getting a little worked up, are we, babycakes? You missed me that much?” Y/N could almost hear him smirk though the phone. 
“Don’t get cocky, Beej. You already know which parts of me missed you.” Y/N’s hand grazed its way down to her thigh, not quite ready to touch herself completely. 
“Hmm, let me guess. That pretty little pussy already wet for me?” And that was it. As his gruff tone echoed through Y/N’s phone, it was just enough to make her go further. She undid the band that closed the robe around her before pushing the silk fabric away and slipping her hand into her lace panties. Y/N slowly grazed her middle finger over the tip of her clit. Chills covered her body as she felt her pussy entirely soaked. She was too wrapped up in her own world to realize that she didn’t even answer Beetlejuice. And he didn’t like that one bit. 
“I asked you a question, babes.” He practically growled through the phone. This caused Y/N’s succubus senses to heighten as her body was beginning to be overtaken by pleasure. Every instance of arousal she’d feel would be boosted by ten.     
“Aaah~ Yes, baby. It’s so wet for you, Beej. Only you.” Y/N moaned as she began to circle her finger around the sensitive skin.   
“God, kitten. You’ve got my dick rock hard right now.” Beetlejuice groaned out. The huskiness in his voice made her get even more wet, if that was even possible. And Y/N wasn’t oblivious. She knew Beetlejuice was touching himself as well. And, God, if that didn’t turn her just as much.
“Ahh, oh Beej~ I need you here. Please, I need you right now.” Y/N begged as the room was filled with nothing but her moans and sighs. She was never ashamed of begging for Beetlejuice, especially when she knew that’s what he wanted. His groans got longer and lower with each word she sighed out.
“Oh, babycakes, you trust and believe I’d be there right now if I could.” Beetlejuice moaned out. He wanted her, of course. He wanted to feel every inch of Y/N with his own hands. But right now, this is as close as he could get and he was going to make it worth her while. “Your fingers are in you, aren’t they?” 
Y/N’s eyes fluttered shut, feeling more pleasure rise to her pussy as she went to slip her index and middle fingers into her wet opening, pumping them in and out slowly. “Mmm, yes. Ah, Beej, baby. And I’m so close.” 
“Good. Now stop.” Beetlejuice commanded. Y/N’s eyes shot back open. He couldn’t be serious. Not when Y/N was getting so close to her desperate orgasm. One she’d been rightfully needing after two weeks.
“No, Beej, please. I’m so clo-” Y/N whined and protested but continued to rub herself. Beetlejuice knew this and wasn’t having any of it. When he told Y/N to do something, he meant it. 
“I said stop, kitten. I wasn’t asking. ” His voice then got seriously stern, making Y/N feel all too timid. The man was how far away but she still felt the need to follow his commands. Although she let out a quiet whine, she moved her fingers away. The lack of contact made her upset but she still did as told. Beetlejuice knew Y/N all too well and he knew when she’d follow his demands.
“That’s a good girl. Now, stick your fingers in that pretty mouth of yours.” The green haired demon spoke. Y/N couldn’t do anything but oblige. She slowly moved her hand from her throbbing pussy upwards. She lifted her fingers to her lips and placed them slowly into her mouth. Y/N let out a long, drawn out,  breathily moan as she tasted herself. Beetlejuice’s groan mirrored hers.   
“Mm, fuck yeah, babes. You taste yourself? You taste how desperate you are for this dick?” Y/N continued to moan at his words as she moved her fingers around in her mouth. “Get your fingers all wet for me, kitten.” 
Demoness just followed suit. She moved her tongue along her fingers to wet them excessively. Y/N let her imagination wander, thinking of them as Beeteljuice’s fingers. Thinking of how he would wet his fingers with her mouth and then slide them smoothly into her aching pussy, while whispering sweet nothings into her ear.
“Mmmph, Beetlejuice~” Y/N mumbled behind her fingers. She was getting restless. Fantasies could only take her so far before she wanted the real thing again.
On the other end of the phone, Beetlejuice was getting close to finishing himself. He stood in the Maitland’s attic, phone in one hand and leaking dick in the other. He stroked himself roughly, wishing it was Y/N’s mouth around his hardened erection instead. Taking a guess at how she looked in that moment made the man helpless. She was probably sprawled out on whatever surface with her legs propped open widely as an open invitation for him. He listened to her muffled moans through the phone’s receiver intently. God, the people he’d kill to see Y/N in such a helpless position again. Stuck in his own pleasure, Beetlejuice decided he couldn’t take it anymore. 
“Okay, babes. Are they nice and wet now?” Beetlejuice asked, ready to give Y/N everything she needed. 
Y/N pulled the fingers from her mouth and a small trail of saliva followed behind them. God, she thought, this was about to be too great. “Yes, baby.” She sighed out. The groan Beetlejuice let out was almost enough to make her come right at that moment. 
“Mmm, perfect. Now put them inside you, kitten.” The demon man spoke though his own moans. 
Y/N didn’t need to be told twice. Her body was hot and aching from her paused orgasm. She quickly moved her hand back into her panties before pushing them into her throbbing pussy entirely. Y/N practically screamed out at the missed contact. Beetlejuice growled louder at her scream and that only made it worse for her. She got back into the previous motion of fingering herself, this time more feverishly and without a slow pace. As she curled her finger against her g-spot as she spoke again. 
“Beej, please. I want to come. Please let me come, baby. Oh god, I wanna come just for you, baby.” Y/N begged without hesitation. Her voice was getting higher as she was right on the edge of her orgasm. 
“Come for me, kitten. Make that pretty pussy come for me.” Beetlejuice growled through his husky voice one last time as he was right on the edge with her.
Y/N’s moan could’ve reached all of the Netherworld as she finally got the release she so desperately craved. She arched her back against the couch as her pussy clenched and spasmed against her fingers several times. She grinded her hips up and down on her fingers as she rode out the sensation to its end. Beetlejuice wasn’t far behind as he pumped his dick just a few more times before his cum spilled all on the floor in front of him. Even though neither beings needed to breathe, the both gasped and panted like the wind had been knocked out of them. The only thing heard through the phone were harsh breaths back and forth. Finally, Beetlejuice was the first to speak. 
“Hot damn, babes. We have got to do that more often.” Beetlejuice sighed out heavily. Y/N sighed along with him in agreement. Her body started to relax as she came down from her high. 
“Mmm, believe or not Beetlejuice, I’d actually prefer the real thing.” She spoke while still rubbing below her. On the other end, Beetlejuice tucked himself back into his pants. Y/N also made an effort to get herself together. She removed her hand from her panties before pulling some on the robe back over her. Y/N didn’t even realize how tightly she was gripping the phone in her hand. She loosened her tight hold on the phone and then heard Beetlejuice chuckle on the other end at her comment.
“You and me both, kitten.” Y/N simply smiled at the man’s voice as Beetlejuice grinned on the other end. 
“Honestly, you should just send one of your clones next time. That might make things a little easier.” Y/N joked. That’s when Beetlejuice let out a loud cackle and Y/N giggled with him. “No chance, Y/N. As if I’d let the boys enjoy you without me there.” He joked back. Y/N rolled her eyes playfully. She finally fixed her position on the couch back to how she laid before.
“Don’t you think that’s a little selfish, Beej?” She asked while grinning, already knowing what his answer would be. 
“I can be selfish all I want, babes. It’s part of my character.” Beetlejuice said matter of factly and it was Y/N’s turn to let out a loud laugh. Once she stopped the line grew silent between the two for a moment. Y/N turned on her side, clutching the phone closer to her ear. 
“Beej, how long are you gonna be gone for? I really do miss you.” The demoness spoke fondly. Again, the fiercest succubus in the Netherworld, but she would only let her shy and timid side show for Beetlejuice. Once the demon man heard those words, his dead heart ached longingly. 
“Oh, babycakes. I don’t really know. But I promise, as soon as I’m done with these dopes here, you’ll be the first person I come to see.” He reassured sweetly. Y/N felt a small blush creep its way to her cheeks. 
“You promise?” She asked flirtatiously. Beetlejuice let a wide smirk fill up his face. 
“Yeah, kitten, I promise.” He spoke lowly and Y/N felt like she was melting. Before Y/N could say anything else, “Well, I gotta run, Y/N.” 
Y/N sighed with disappointment. “Alright, have fun watching the Maitlands.” She said as she sat up on the couch. 
“I’ll do what I can, babycakes.” The man spoke. 
“Bye, Beej.” Y/N stopped but she wanted to say more. Yeah, she wanted to talk more but she wanted to add something to her goodbye. Something long lasting. Something like an ‘I love you’. But she didn’t. 
She ended with, “You’d better keep your promise.” Before she heard Beetlejuice laugh one last time.
“I will, I’ll see you sooner than later, kitten. Bye.” And with that, the dial tone rang through her phone receiver. 
Y/N sighed and let her body hang loose on the couch. Her hand fell to the side off the couch as the phone hung loosely in her finger. Y/N placed the back of her other hand on top of her forehead before getting lost in thought. She had it bad for Beetlejuice. And one day she was going to have to admit her feelings. Maybe when he came to see her after he was done with the Maitlands. She’d come straight and say ‘I love you, Beetlejuice’. One day she would have the courage to let the words out. Even though the demon man was already gone, all she could say was,  
“Sooner than later, Beej.” 
Thanks for reading💜🖤💚
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aestheticritique · 4 years ago
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For young men (Part 1)
In my latest lockdown induced depressive episode I have been meeting some new people online. They are all young, male, mostly heterosexual, very nice and extremely considerate. However, they also are often afraid becoming a burden, insecure in their appearance or social skills, and often struggling with mental health. Given this, they are also usually extremely afraid of never finding themselves having sex or getting into a meaningful relationship in the late stage neoliberal capitalist dystopia we find ourselves in. To be honest I didn’t understand them at first, especially their obsession with sex. But the more I am thinking about it, the more I realize that we are united in the same dynamic of seeing sex or love as magic verfication of... What?
Growing up, I used hookups as a way to prove to myself that I am worth something. I thought that my value was defined by men’s desire. I originally in writing this wanted to show my perspective from the other side of the same coin, but after realizing how much of an undertaking that would be, I decided to start with the two most common answers from men used as justification to why they think they won’t get laid. These are things I find will help these kinds of people out, but as a great thinker once said...
“I can’t mom you through this one, boys. You are on your own.” - Contrapoints
(I link songs I like through out btw, the underlined text are links you can click on)
Foreword: Social factors
The average age of first intercourse has been rising in the US. Teenagers have less sex than ever before. These changes will affect you. In teen movies and shows charakters often experiment with sexuality before the age of 18. Everything else is played as an abnormality. If we compare ourselves to this misrepresentation of teenage sexuality, of course we seem like the losers.
“The proportion of young people who have had sexual intercourse increases rapidly as they age through adolescence”. It’s very likely, at least from my view, that you are just going to grow out of the awkward zone of wanting intimacy but not getting it. Just like you grew out of other things, such as bad musical taste or that one gaudy outfit. Don’t stress over this one specifically either.
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Adolescence is weird for all of us. Even if your first encounter is after college, let’s be real here: having such a good thing in your own place without your parents looming or having to share your room with a roommate you barely know is so much better anyway.
The Ugly fuck too
A common answer to my question why they think that they will never have sex is that they are “unattractive”. The implication being, that sex is the prize for looking a certain way.
But is it? We are so used to the perfect, porn-ready bodies in the media that we forget that the Ugly fuck too. We never see the foldes of fat and skin, never see acne warriors or moles, never see people who actually look like us.
In the movie “The Parasite”, there is a scene where the husband of Gook Moon-gwang, the former housekeeper, is implied to have sex. (the clip, starts at 3:00) It gave me weird feelings of discomfort, as the illusion so stereotypically found on the silver screen was not present. These two characters are not pretty. They look old. She is fat and he is a balding skeleton. They are not special, and that’s okay.
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Being fuckable does not equal beauty. Being fuckable does not equal beauty. It was a terrifying thought initially for someone like me who defined their value over beauty & their beauty as being fuckable. It might also be a scary thought for someone who doesn’t think that they deserve love and intimacy because of their looks. I promise you that you still deserve love! Sex did not cure my problems with my appearance, or the fact that I based my self-esteem on the way I look. It will not make you feel normal. It will not make you feel better, prove your worth or even give you more self esteem in the long term beyond the initial rush of dopamine. It is not a caravan to fulfillment.
Beauty is a concept that is based on exclusion. Allow yourself to feel the pain of being excluded, of not reaching the impossible beauty standards and the disadvantages that come with it. Allow yourself to feel the fear of not being “man enough” and be happy in spite of it.
“Patriarchal masculinity teaches us to control our pain, but it can block us from experiencing the grief that is part of a full life. Chasing pleasure and controlling pain is patriarchal. Opening ourselves up to joy and grief is to be fully human.”
”Those of us in that skinny nerd category are especially prone to thinking that we aren’t “man enough.” [..] But the more I talked to men, the more convinced I became that almost all men at some point in their lives don’t feel man enough. Even the men I thought were the “real men” were scared.
That’s not surprising. Masculinity in patriarchy—that is, masculinity in a system of institutionalized male dominance—trains men to be competitive, in pursuit of conquest, which leads to routine confrontation, with the goal of always being in control of oneself and others. But no matter how intensely competitive one is, no matter how complete the conquest, no matter how many successful confrontations, and no matter how much one stays in control—men are haunted by the fear that they aren’t man enough, that they can never stop proving their masculinity.” - Robert Jensen
Stop comparing your appearance to other men’s. Start talking and bonding with them over your undoubtably shared insecurities rooted in society’s relentless toxic masculinity. Unlearning the things you’ve been indoctrinated into since conception is damn hard. I am still in the middle of it personally, but I promise you it is worth it. It will improve not only your relationships with other men, but also with yourself and that one girl you’re pining after.
There are a ton of resources targeted at women about self acceptance, but not many for men. Robert Jenson comes from a tradition of critical men’s groups. Even though I don’t agree with him on everything, he manages to scare most men (especially the kind I mentioned in the first paragraph) to their core, but also improves their lives drastically with his kindness and radical ideas. I implore you to look him up, and try your best to keep an open mind.
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“A person who functions normally in a sick society is themselve sick.”
The other most common answer  to the initial question was “being socially maladjusted”, implying that sex is something you earn by behaving a certain way. It is ingrained in the way we talk about love. “Deserving love” is the best example. Neither love nor sex is a product of work. Love and intimacy are a lot like sleep. It is a slow but unconscious process. You slowly work into it, with no idea of what comes next, and then, after an agonizingly long moment, you’re there. The fall is not often expected or easy, is always exhilarating, but never the product of conformity to anything except comfort with who you are.
I do acknowledge that social settings can be weird, existentially unsettling, and full of unseen complexities. This is especially true if you are neurodivergent and / or struggling with mental health.  Being neurodivergent or struggling with mental health goes against the impossible, hegemonically masculine standard of always being in controll. It’s a common cause behind feelings of emasculation. Disregard that feeling, and remember that you deserve love, no matter how manly you are or are not, no matter how you behave.
Learning social settings are lot like learning to skate. In the beginning you will be covered in bruises, but with enough effort, you will be better at it. The chance of mistakes will get lower, but never zero. You will always have awkward situations, but that doesn’t mean that you are bad at them. It just means that you have room to improve still. Maybe consider getting lessons or joining a skate crew.
We tend to hyperfocus on the accidents. Think about how many nice conversations you had over the internet, text or otherwise. I ask you to value them. Value these positive experiences, value your friendships and acquaintances, value the people supporting you, online and offline. We tend to hyperfocus on meaningfull longterm friendships, just like we hyperfocus on love. Value your social enviroment, value someone who just made you feel ok for a moment. You are socially adapted, because you have a social enviroment you feel comfortable in, where you have relationships with people. The depth of a relationship is not messured by time, nor by physical touch. Being mindful of your feelings for the people around you can make you realize that you are less alone than you thought.
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Some Tips
If you want to make friends additionally to that, here are some tips from someone, who is bad at social clues:
Join a group with a common interest or struggle: Book clubs, activist groups, selfhelp groups, they are great settings to meet new people and you already have a topic to talk about :)
If you feel save about it: Being open about your issues can help other people adapt to you and understand you better - especially in early on in relationships.
People sitting at the bar or smoking outside are generally more open for conversation
Don’t be afraid of getting rejected: They don’t reject you, when they reject a conversation with you. The reasons people don’t want to talk to you is very diverse. Stay respectful and polite.
Don’t expect to much: No one owes you a long conversation. A smalltalk is perfectly fine.
Learn to make compliments casually and learn to compliments that aren’t based on appearance.
Find a common ground (politically, a interest ect.) and talk about it
Take a improv class, seriously TAKE A IMPROV CLASS! (there are online ones, and sometimes it’s even free)
Here are some youtube videos by Anna Akana with more tips. (1) conversations, (2) how to be a better friend, (3) overthinking
Here are is a piece about being bad at relationship I liked.
Footnote: Trophies and muses
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“We do not want to do the work of helping you to believe in your humanity. We cannot do it anymore. We have always tried. We have been repaid with systematic exploitation and systematic abuse. You are going to have to do this yourselves from now on and you know it.” - Andrea Dowkin
Behind the whole obsession with sex is often a distorted perception of women. Just remind yourself that women are human? Access to female bodies is not a human right. We are not trophies to push your ego. We are not there to inspire you or heal you. We are humans with agency. We desire love and being loved, just like everyone else.
I am tired, but I believe in your humanity...
xoxo,
aestheticritique
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choicesfanatic86 · 5 years ago
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If Only:  Chapter 18
DISCLAIMER:  All characters belong to Pixelberry Studios, except characters unique to my story.  Those belong to me. ;)
PAIRINGS:  Liam x Riley (MC)
SUMMARY:  And they're off to Cordonia!  Riley and Liam have a heart to heart about what to expect when they arrive in Cordonia.
TAGS - If you would like to be tagged for If Only, please message me.  I am reworking all of my fan fiction, and I know that a lot of people may no longer be in the fandom, or maybe they no longer want to follow If Only.  If that is the case, I didn't want to unnecessarily tag someone.  So please, let me know if you would like to be tagged for future updates of this piece.
PERMANENT TAG LIST:  @umccall71 @drakelover78 @jamielea81 @bobasheebaby @speedyoperarascalparty @hopefulmoonobject @theroyalweisme @gardeningourmet @jlouise88 @hamulau @traeumerinwitzhelden @blackcatkita @mrs-simmy @kaitycole @alwaysthebestchoice @mfackenthal @trr-duchessofvaltoria @pbchoicesobsessed @liamxs-world @flyawayboo @devineinterventions2 @ranishajay @jayjay879 @alepowell @greyeyedsmile14 @mspaigemoore @princesaakl @annekebbphotography @angelicfangirl  @katurrade @cordoniaqueensworld @ao719
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11/25/2019 - It has been over a year since I updated If Only, and I feel absolutely sick about it.  I apologize for not updating as regularly as I should have.  I came back in May with the intent to keep writing and bring new stories to the fandom, but my world got rocked with a horrible family situation.  I went MIA initially because I had a family emergency come up in September of 2018.  My father was diagnosed with stage 4 esophageal cancer.  He became stable at the beginning of May which prompted me to feel a bit reinvigorated to write again.  We were thrown for a loop when he passed away suddenly and unexpectedly at the end of May after a brief period of stabilization. His kidneys shut down and he went into respiratory failure.  Ironically, the cancer may have weakened him, but it wasn't his cause of death.  I was a wreck.  I've slowly gone through the grieving process and wanted to try my hand at writing again.  I can't promise you I'll be consistent, but I'm going to try. Thank you all for the amazing support and thoughts.  Thank you for your sweet reviews.  I will be going through all of them. <3
Chapter 18
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Riley was certain of one thing – she would always find herself awestruck at being able to fly on a private airplane.  She hadn’t traveled all that much before, but when she did, it was a pain.  The astronomical cost of airline tickets, the long lines, the long list of TSA security no-nos that she could never seem to grasp . . . all of it made the whole prospect of travelling more of a nuisance than anything else.  Traveling with Liam, on the other hand, had been nothing but a dream since the moment they got to the airport.  Liam once again took charge guiding her to where they needed to check in.  Things at the airport had gone just as smoothly as they had when they left Las Vegas.  Actually, it had gone even smoother than Las Vegas since they were flying out internationally and that terminal had not been nearly as crowded as the domestic terminals.  Liam once again breezed by as Riley trailed behind him, still unaccustomed to the life of private jet-setting.  She still found the entire thing to be a bit surreal.  What normally would have been a two hour process had only taken them twenty minutes.  Apparently, the life of royalty had some major perks.
A little over an hour later, Riley found herself sitting on the private plane that was scheduled to take them to Cordonia.  She stared absently out of the plane’s window as she contemplated how differently her life had ended up than what she had planned out over the years.  For one, she never, ever saw herself sitting on a private plane as they waited for the all clear for takeoff.  For another, she never thought she’d get married to a complete stranger on a whim – in Vegas, no less.  Then again, she also never thought she’d ever meet someone like Liam.  She bit her lip lightly as she watched him joke around with the flight crew.  Apparently, he knew all of them quite well.  They weren’t treating him like a prince, but rather an old friend who they were excited to see.  But that was the thing about Liam – despite his royal roots, he seemed like such an average, ordinary, everyday guy.  He was genuinely a good guy - somebody you could sit around and have hours of conversation with and never got bored.  She smiled and watched as he fawned over pictures of one of the flight attendant’s newborn grand-daughter.  He never fell short of amazing her.  She had always pictured herself winding up with some sort of science geek, who, like her, had spent years focusing on his education to land the perfect job.  Liam was completely different.  The connection they shared was one in a million.  The time they spent together alone in her apartment had further solidified that fact.  She’d have been foolish to let him slip away from her in Vegas, and if she had, she’d likely never find that sort of connection with someone else ever again.  Their relationship wasn’t something that you could just dismiss as being a spur of the moment, one-time fling.  He made her feel alive again, and she loved how he had forced her to reevaluate the life she was living, and helped her to see that none of it was what she wanted.  It felt as if they had known each other for years instead of only a few days.  There was just something about Liam that brought out her desire for an exciting new adventure.  For the first time in years, she didn’t have a plan, and it scared the shit out of her.  There was no denying the fact that she felt like she was swimming in the deep end of the pool without any sort of lifejacket.  But, for some reason, she was okay with that, because she knew she’d have Liam by her side to help keep her afloat.  
Riley’s smile grew as he chatted with a different flight attendant about their travel plans when they got to Cordonia.  He was going on and on about how he wanted to take her to their country house to show her the orchards of apple trees.  She looked around the bustling plane – apart from the three flight attendants she had seen, she had counted four more flight attendants and two pilots on their flight.  She shook her head in disbelief.  It was crazy to think that all nine members of the flight crew were aboard just for them.  It was hard to believe that this was her life now.  
Liam grasped one of the male attendants on the shoulder as he headed back over to where she was sitting.  “You look rather deep in thought,” he murmured as he sidled into the seat next to her.
She smiled softly.  “Just thinking about what a whirlwind this has all been.  I guess it’s just hard to believe that we won’t have to listen to crying babies or fighting for space for our carry-ons in the overhead compartment.”
“I admit, those are things I have never had to worry about when I traveled,” he smirked.  “But I can imagine those sorts of things would be rather inconvenient.”
“Exceptionally so,” she chuckled.  “You’re so amazing with people, Liam.  The way you talk to them and treat them with the utmost respect regardless of your status,” Riley looked at him in admiration.  “You’re just a genuine, sweet man,” she said, clasping her hand in his.
He looked at her adoration.  “I’ve known all of them for years – since I was old enough to travel with my father,” he smiled.  “They’re like another set of family members.  The older woman I was talking to?  Dolores?  She just welcomed her first granddaughter.  My father gave her some time off to spend with the new baby,” he explained.  “Being royal doesn’t make you any less human.  Having compassion and being respectful are just decent things to do,” he explained as he squeezed her hand back.
“Well, you don’t see a lot of that in New York,” Riley mused.  “And I’ll be honest, people can become a bit snooty when power goes to their head.  Trust me.”  She thought of the many rude people she encountered as she walked along the streets of New York City.  There was always some guy in a total rush with a cell phone pressed against his ear and a briefcase swinging from his hand pushing his way down the sidewalk trying to get the next available cab.  New York people were savage.
Liam chuckled at her observation.  “Quite true, love.  I assure you, that is just how I was raised.  I just couldn’t live with myself if I treated anyone with anything but the respect that they deserve.”
“You are one in a million, Liam Rys.” She smiled broadly, squeezing his hand tightly.
“As are you, Riley Rys,” he winked at her.  
She blushed as she changed the subject.  “So, do we have any layovers or are we landing straight in Cordonia?”
He shook his head.  “No stopovers, that’s not how private jets work, love.  The flight should take about eight hours tops,” he explained.  “We’ll be arriving in Cordonia at around 7:30 in the morning.”
“Wow, that early?” Riley asked.  
“The time difference will take a bit getting used to, especially since you’ve lived in New York your whole life,” he explained.  “The early arrival will be beneficial to us, I’m sure.  I doubt the press will have caught wind that we’re arriving that early.  It might give us enough time to get you to the palace without the mad rush of press on our tails,” he reasoned.
“The press?” She asked, her eyes widening.
Just as Liam was about to explain further, the pilot came over the loudspeaker announcing that they would be preparing for takeoff.  Riley inhaled deeply as she felt the power and speed of the plane push forward as it readied itself for take off.  She was momentarily distracted from the idea of the press and what exactly he meant about them being on their tails.
When they reached a comfortable elevation, the captain came over the loudspeaker again.
“Your Majesties, thank you for joining us this afternoon.  We expect the flight to take roughly eight hours, and we are expecting clear skies and smooth travel.  Should you need anything, please let any one of our staff attendants know and they will be glad to assist you with whatever you may need,” the voice boomed.
“Was he talking to me, too?” She asked, her eyes widening once more.
“Well, yes, love.  You are the future Queen of Cordonia.  It is only right that he address you as such,” he explained.
Riley knew that marrying Liam automatically meant that she was royalty, too, but having someone actually refer to her as one was crazy.  
“Your Majesties, would you like a beverage?  Wine?  Or champagne perhaps?” Dolores, the attendant Liam had been talking to earlier asked.
“Love?” Liam asked.
“Um, maybe just some water?” She asked quietly.
“Of course, Your Majesty.  Prince Liam?”
“I’m fine, Dolores,” he smiled brightly at the older woman.  “Maybe when we have our meals I’ll have a bit of scotch,” he added.
“Of course, Your Majesty,” she acquiesced as she poured Riley a glass of water.
“This is surreal,” she murmured, mostly to herself.
“Love, this is what you have to look forward to each time you travel,” he laughed.  “With our busy schedules, it only seems right that we travel as comfortable as possible.  After all, we don’t know when we’ll have a spare moment to ourselves again,” he said knowingly.
She nodded nervously, her hands fiddling about in her lap.  That’s actually what was worrying her.  What was life going to be like now that they were heading out of their Las Vegas and New York bubbles?  
Liam leaned over, clasping his hands around hers and smiled.  “You’re fine, love,” he murmured encouragingly.  “Now that I have you held captive in an airplane . . . ” he trailed off, eyeing her a bit nervously.
“What?” She asked; worry once again coursed through her body.
“Are you ready to talk about what you’ve signed up for?” He shot her a nervous smile.  He looked as if he were waiting for her to jump ship . . . or in this case, plane . . . any second.
She eyed him suspiciously, taking a large gulp of her cold water.  “You act as if I just signed up to go to war or something,” she chuckled anxiously.  “I know you don’t want to scare me, Liam, but I think I can handle whatever they’re going to throw my way,” she said.  Think being the operative word.  She talked a good game and tried her best to calm the quaking nerves inside of her, but in truth, she was absolutely petrified.  She had no clue how to be a princess . . . let alone a queen when that time inevitably arrived.  How on earth was she going to manage it all while still getting to know her new husband?
“I don’t mean to sound so cryptic,” he explained apologetically.  “I suppose I just wanted to prepare you for what might happen when we arrive,” he said vaguely.
“Are you expecting a grand welcome?” She arched an eyebrow.
“Well, possibly,” he admitted.
Her eyebrow arched a bit higher.  “Oh,” she said nervously.
“To be quite honest, I’m not sure what to expect.”  He ran his hand nervously over the back of his neck, and looked at her bashfully.  “Our early arrival does buy us some time as I mentioned, but I’m honestly not too sure what the Cordonian people have been told.  I’m not sure if they’ve publically announced the end of my engagement to Olivia,” he said uncertainly.  “In fact, I’m not sure if they even announced that we’ve gotten married.”
“And if they have?” Riley asked.
“If they have, then you can expect the press to be hounding us until they get a printable story,” he sighed.  “It’s the nature of the press, love.  They have a hunger for a scandal . . . the more prominent the person, the more desirable the story,” he said glumly.
“And being the heir to the Cordonian throne, any story about you would be explosive,” Riley said, understanding where he was going with his explanation.  The press wouldn’t let the story rest until they had every single detail about the end of his engagement to Olivia and their subsequent marriage in Vegas.  They were in for one hell of a welcome if that were the case.  She shook her head hesitantly.  The idea of being hounded by the press wasn’t something she was particularly looking forward to.  She had never paid attention to those sordid, trashy tabloids back home.  She had always thought that it was grossly negligent to publish half-facts and over-exaggerations.  This was the conversation that she had been worried about.  Up to this point, everything had been a vague and distant idea that she had formulated inside of her head, but as Cordonia loomed closer and closer in front of them, at some point they’d have to discuss the elephant in the room, and apparently, Liam had decided that “some point” was right then and there.
“I wish I could say that this will be easy, love . . . but it won’t.  I wish I could take the burden of the scrutiny of the press and the people and my family away so that you would never have to endure a single unpleasant moment.  But having lived this life in the limelight for as long as I have . . . I know that many will have . . . reservations,” he explained hesitantly.
“Reservations?” She asked, slightly confused.
“They may publish some untrue things about you . . . they may suspect we got pregnant out of wedlock, hence the quickie marriage . . . they may even publish some nasty, untrue remarks about your friends and family . . .” he trailed off.
She winced a little.  She had never really had a thick skin growing up.  She had always been sensitive, and she didn’t like to be teased or taunted.  The idea of having a whole nation scrutinize her every move, made her physically ill.  The idea of having someone critique how she acted, what she wore, who she spent time with . . . it all felt too much.  But to have that extend to her family and friends?  She couldn’t imagine dealing with that on top of everything else.
Liam continued.  “Olivia was a well-liked Duchess, and although the marriage was arranged, I’d imagine that many may not take kindly to the broken engagement . . . and our subsequent union,” he reasoned.  
“Like Bertrand,” she arched a questioning eyebrow.
“Yes, like Bertrand.  Some of the people of Cordonia are traditionalists.  They may not be so welcoming to the fact that I have married someone not of the country.  Not of Europe for that matter,” he explained.  “But I have no doubt that once they get to know you . . . the you I fell in love with . . . all of their reservations will disappear,” he said optimistically.
“I hope so,” she said meekly.  “I know it’s going to be tough . . . I just don’t want people to hate me, you know?”
“They won’t hate you, love,” he chuckled.  “How would they hate the most amazing girl I’ve ever met?”
Riley sighed, leaning closer into him.  “You were engaged, Liam.  To a woman you have had a friendship with for most of your life.  Are you telling me that she’ll warmly open her arms and welcome me to the palace?”
Liam grimaced in reply.  “Well, obviously not.  Olivia will prove to be a difficulty.  Of that, I’m quite sure.”
“And your parents?”  Riley added.  “You got into quite the tiff with your father before we left.”
“As did you,” he reminded her.  “My father and stepmother will come around.  Once they realize that Cordonia’s future will not be in any jeopardy and that the monarchy will continue, they will warm to the idea of our marriage.  It will take time, love.”
She nodded.  She sucked in a long breath.  She needed to be strong.  As long as she had Liam by her side, she knew they’d be able to overcome whatever difficulties that were headed their way.
“We’re going to get through all of this together, Riley.  I will never forget how much you’re giving up for me . . . for us,” he said passionately.
She leaned in for a soft kiss.  Liam deepened the kiss before pulling himself away.  “I have such a hard time controlling myself around you,” he said breathily.
“Let me distract you.  Tell me about Cordonia.  Not about the press or the bad stuff we might encounter,” she shook her head.  “If I’m moving to a brand new country, I should know everything there is about it.  The internet wasn’t too helpful.  I guess it’s so small that not a lot of people actually know a whole lot about it,” she frowned.
He nodded.  “It is small, but I assure you it has a rich history.  A history that you and I are now a part of,” he smiled.  “I’ll happily answer any questions you’d like about Cordonia, but I think that the best way to get to know our beautiful country is to experience it first hand in person,” he said.
“I’m looking forward to seeing everything,” she agreed. After a brief moment, she asked another question. “So, can I get a job when we get there?  Or is that sort of not allowed.  I just don’t want people thinking I’m some sort of gold-digger.  Your friends already accused me of being a crown-chaser, and I don’t want people thinking that I don’t want to work . . . because I kind of do?  I mean, I don’t really know what I could do considering I have a degree in Biology   . . . and I’m a medical school drop out . . . but there has to be something right?” she rambled out
Liam stared at her as if she had three heads.  She supposed it was a silly question.  Did royalty work?  She tried to think back on the lives of various royal figures - did Princess Diana have a job? What about Princess Eugenie?  How about Duchess Kate?  Surely an independent woman such as Duchess Megan Markle kept a job?  She frowned, she was being ridiculous.  Of course they didn’t have jobs.  They were too busy jet setting alongside their husbands.  She frowned at the thought.  She had never seen herself as being a woman who relied on a man to do all of the hard work.  She hadn’t liked when Liam’s friends had thought of her as being a crown-chaser, and she certainly didn’t want the rest of the public thinking the same thing.  Shouldn’t she be able to prove that she’s way more than just some woman that Liam met in Las Vegas?  She wanted to contribute in someway . . . even if she didn’t know exactly how she could contribute.
“You don’t have to work, love.  I told you that.  You will want for nothing the moment you set foot inside the palace,” he assured her.
“That’s such a strange concept,” she frowned.  “Not working . . .I mean, I went to college, got my degree, held quite a few jobs over the years, and now I just . . . do nothing?” she pursed her lips.  “I don’t want people to think that I married you for anything other than love,” she said softly.
“Being Queen is a job in itself Riley,” he explained.  “You’ll be expected to plan social functions, attend political meetings, coordinate various social programs, meet with different international figures . . . although the compensation process might be quite different than what you’re used to, you will very much have a job in Cordonia,” He rationalized.  
She nodded, although she still had a hard time wrapping her head around the whole concept.  “So the whole social functions thing . . . is that like party planning?”
“Oh, love.  It is far more than just a party.  Why don’t I give you a brief history of Cordonia and some perspective on the monarchy and perhaps then you’ll understand a bit more about how important the social season is to the Cordonian people?”
She nodded eagerly, sitting up in her chair.  “I’d like that a lot actually.  I feel like I’m jumping out of a plane without a parachute when it comes to knowing anything about Cordonia.  I really don’t want my first impression with your family to be me clueless about the country I’m now a resident of,” she gave a nervous chuckle.
A few hours later, Liam had recounted a not-so-brief history of everything about Cordonia.  Riley had no idea how Liam was able to remember all of it.  She guessed having grown up there gave him an upper hand, but still.  He was able to recount every single monarch and every single duchy that.  He could even rattle off population stats that all sounded like a bunch of mumble jumble to her.
“Lords and Ladies . . . palaces  . . . waltzes . . . balls . . . court . . . my head is spinning, Liam,” she frowned.  She needed some aspirin, or maybe a stiff drink.  She hadn’t expected her Cordonia 101 class with Liam to be easy, but she had hoped that she’d be able to at least glean some information to help her survive her first few days there.  Instead, she felt like she had nothing but information overload.  She couldn’t tell you who anyone was or what city was what because all of the names and places started to merge with one another after a while.
“I know it’s a lot to take in, but you’re doing remarkably well,” he said encouragingly.  “Hopefully some of the notes you took will help,” he smiled.
Yes, she had taken notes, but she had no clue what was important and what wasn’t.  She hadn’t even known Cordonia even existed before meeting Liam.  Now, she suddenly needed to know everything there was to know about the tiny country.  How on earth was she going to remember everything?  
“Trust me, love.  In time, all of this information will become second nature,” Liam beamed at her.
She snorted.  She didn’t want to tell him that she was more of a math and sciences sort of girl as opposed to being a history buff.  She couldn’t imagine a time when all of these Cordonian factoids would become second nature.
“Here.  Let’s test some of your knowledge now.  I’ll give you an easy one,” he said excitedly.  “What is the capital of Cordonia?” Liam asked expectedly.
Riley licked her lips nervously.  Her eyes scanned the notes in front of her, but she could barely make out half of her short hand.  She paused, uncertainly.  “Valtoria,” she half-asked.
“Correct,” he smiled at her proudly as he rubbed his thumb back and forth over her hand.  “You don’t give yourself enough credit.  You’ll have Cordonian culture down in no time.”
She smiled tightly in response.  She hoped he was right.  She had been taking notes off and on during their discussion, but she didn’t really know how it would help her if she got ambushed by the press.  It’s not like she could pull out a set of flash cards when she was getting interviewed.  She didn’t think that’d earn her any brownie points with the Cordonian public.  
Liam continued to quiz her on questions during the last few hours of the flight, and Riley admittedly was starting to remember some of the major things that Liam had taught her, but she still felt that all of the information she had just gained were whirling inside of her head like a tornado.  She had never wanted to excel at something so much in her life.  She felt like she was back in school, trying to cram in as much information as possible.  She just hoped it stuck.
“What if I mess up?” She asked worriedly.  “It took me years to even learn all the capitols of the fifty states,” she frowned.  “And even then I still managed to goof up every now and then,” she said, her voice laced with a bit of panic.
“Riley, love, you’re a natural at this.  You may not be Cordonian by birth, but we will have you be a star pupil on Cordonian history in no time,” he said encouragingly.  “Like I said, you’re already doing so well.”
“I don’t know how I’ll remember all of this,” she said faintly.  “There’s a reason why I went to medical school.  Liberal arts wasn’t exactly my strong suit,” she joked.
“I’ll be there to guide you, and my friends, once they get to know you, will be more than happy to provide you with some help along the way.  I happen to know that Bertrand majored in history at our university,” he said.  “I’d be happy to talk to him about perhaps giving you some private lessons on Cordonian culture,” he offered.  “He’d actually be well-suited to help you adjust to court life.”
“Bertrand  . . . yeah, I don’t think he’ll be very much inclined to help me considering he wanted to have our marriage annulled,” she sighed.  “He also seemed to think that I would be the demise of Cordonia.”
“Well, yes, remember, Bertrand is a traditionalist.  His duty to country comes before all else.  But regardless, he’s still my friend, and as such, he’ll want me to be happy.  If I ask him to help you adjust to court life, he will do it.  Begrudgingly at first, but after he sees how well suited you are as my wife, he’ll come around.”
Riley sighed.  What an optimist.  As much as she wanted to believe that Bertrand would help her, she believed that he’d probably eagerly wait for the moment for her to fall flat on her face.  She was about to ask Liam a few more questions about Cordonia when she felt a slight rumble under her feet.  She felt the plane begin to descend, and looked at Liam a bit concerned.  “What was that?” She asked in alarm.
“We’re getting closer,” he explained as his eyes peered out the window.  “It looks like we’re descending a bit to prepare for landing,” he reasoned.  His eyes grew a bit brighter as he stared out the window.  “Well, Mrs. Rys . . . if you look out to your left you’ll catch your first glimpse of your new home,” Liam beamed proudly.
Riley leaned against the window, her eyes gazing out into the distance below her.  She could just make out the aerial view of the country.  A million thoughts ran through her mind.  They were here.  They were finally here.   Riley gazed out at the shimmering blue ocean below her.  Cordonia’s coastline was breathtaking.  The little information she found on Google did nothing to prepare her for the sheer beauty of the country below her.  
She turned to Liam in awe, and he greeted her gaze with a beaming smile.  All it took for her worries to wane was a single look at Liam.  She knew this move would be hard, and she knew that she would be faced with a lot of scrutiny, and although she still had reservations about what would be like as an outsider, she knew that as long as Liam stood by her side, she’d somehow manage to pull through all of this.  
“That’s our country,” he said, leaning over her, pressing a soft kiss on the temple of her forehead.
“Our?” She whispered, still a bit overwhelmed about the reality of finally being in Cordonia.  She turned to face him, his eyes fixed on her in admiration.
“Yes, love.  The moment you said yes . . . the moment you signed those papers . . . this became all of yours,” he said proudly.
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korra4321 · 5 years ago
Text
Epiphany (Gifts sequel)
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Word Count:14.5K
Trigger warnings: Violence, strong language , yandere themes 
Teaser :Epiphany is a moment of sudden and great revelation or realization.
Fate really have it twisted way of bringing two broken souls together, the said souls share the copy image view of the world not only mutual understanding but bring out the best in his other half , understand one another with the simplest move , love unconditionally and care for each other like there is no one but them. Soulmate bond that unbroken, soulmate was a whole being divided by two , one soul in two separate bodies.
Korra found on him the companion that she was seeking all the time , someone who understands her no matter how massed up and fucked up she was , the later always understand her , someone who view the world just the same like he was seeing it through her own eyes, he was magical too and he brought a new purpose to her life , he saved her from the bottomless loneliness. Tom found on her everything literally, a savior, a companion, someone like him with extraordinary abilities, she showed him how special he was , cared for him like a human being that he was, he felt gratitude for her first , he wanted to give back to her and protect her that feeling slowly developed to a youthful liking that took an expected turn to become an endless obsession that growth worse day by day.
He called it love and soulmate decided by fate. She called it companionship of no more or less then best friend platonic love.
Korra laid down on her bed, no there bed now that her massed up besitie claimed it as theirs , he was taking a bath in the exact same water she just bathed into it.
She heard him humming a song that she always listen to when she was working and she let her mind roam for a second debating if he always did that in his time in the prison , she though that leaving him there will help him realize that she doesn't have romantic feeling toward him , the only emotions her heart hold for him was platonic one .
But unfortunately it did not help at all, it made him believe she was either :
A)giving him time out as a punishment of not telling her he was Lord Voldemort and not making her involved in the purge as her right for being his soulmate
B) transferring there relationship to the state of long distance one to taste his ability for it which he proved to be idealist one
Even direct method of communication like talking her feeling toward him to make it loud and clear made the latter believe she was denying her feeling and too afraid to let herself being loved and love someone , loving her soulmate, he claimed that she have Philophobia . He called himself her medicine that will cure her of that phobia.
She sighed making herself in the fetus position , as she deeply analyzed trying to see from when and where he started loving her and having that 'we are soulmate' delusion .
Usually adolescence start having crushes around fourteen years old the average age where puberty happen , the awkward stage of leaving the childhood and entering the mystery land of teenage years that will be the gate to adulthood the current state of which both of them where now , they are doomed to stay in it for evermore .
"Fucking horcruxes" Korra scowled her tone dripping loath for whoever had a hand in letting him know about it , she never felt the desire to rip one throat with her bare teeth or the desire to curse him down with all the unforgivable curses respectfully in sequence .
In her fetus position she froze down at the idea, at the train of thought and where it landed her. She was thinking just like him, the ill intention to cause harm and unmentionable thing to an innocent.
Maybe just maybe they were .... alike?
‘No...I am not the same as someone who torment ,kill and destroy pure people life .’ She buried her face in the pillow deeper , letting the soft cushion consume all of her face , needed to let it block her though
How dare she let herself to even think they were the same? Next thing she knew that she would believe that they were product of fate design, the two shards of the same entity... soulmates.
Whoever said that one mind can be it worse enemy is truly man of wisdom. Even if the said wisdom applies to her right now, it's a sword with two different blades, her ally and her foe.
She could use it as weapon if she played her cards right. She can be free in no time and she could run away from him if she pretended that his ' treatment ' is curing her of her blindness of the indisputable truth.
'and then when he see I view him as a soulmate, I will run away when he give me freedom, when he trust me blindly ' Her mind was being her ally right now , Lady luck was on her side , her lady hope persona may lost the battle but there is war left , there is fire left on her that didn't die .
The door of the bathroom slightly opened leaving a crack that let the steam escape and the scented candles with lavender to spread into the air. And his humming stopped.
"Korra dear? Is everything alright there?" His voice was worried with no other trace of emotion there, just filled with worry.
"Yes Tom, everything is right, did something happened?" She matched his voice.
The crack spread more allowing for his wet head to be seen, and that smile to be fully displayed on it glory ,"it just that I heard you saying, " he paused for a few seconds allowing himself to perfectly mimic her words like a passage of speech from president himself. "Fucking horcruxes" his smiled forsaken for a smirk . "Darling you can't ..have an intercourse of that type with a container ...but if you feel...." Korra who's face exploded with red had avoided eye contact with him and rushed to cut his sentence. "No! I..don't want that ..." He chuckled softly , like she made an inside joke . "I know you don't want it ....now ....you are just saving yourself up for our wedding" His eyes had hunger look into them as he slowly closed the door.
Leaving her a mess of red and heat, while he returned to his humming that followed by more tone of euphoric.
She really needed to get out of that place.
As a mocking from fate her eyes landed on the pillow form the living room, she didn't know why it was there but the writing on it mocked her
{HOME SWEET HOME}
It's like a butcher welcoming a livestock before ending them for good.
She stepped out of the bed, but remembered the masks, she looked at them.
Lord Voldemort persona was staring at her with unforgiving stare promising chaos to whoever breathed an insult directly or indirectly to her or him, to any and every no magical human to make them existent from the word of living.
Her eyes drafted slightly to the right.
Lady Hope is antonym of her counterpart, her eyes brought mercy and hope to the suffering survivors, a reminder of the light side that still exist.
Anyone in their right mind will see that they were the opposite, foes made to destroy one another. Light vs dark in their form of materialistic.
But not to him of course.
Tom Marvalo Riddle was soaking wet in the bathtub He couldn't help but to feel rush of adrenalin through his vines.
That smirk was still in his lips. The masks were even more proof of their love.
Lord Voldemort destroy the enemy while Lady Hope cure the falling of their side both mentally and physically like the ancient Yin and Yang, one can cease to exist without the other, they need each other to survive.
Why she was so confused and misguided by those muggles ? His teeth chatting and his jaw clinched. The rotten muggles made her filthy . How dare they firstly to drive her away from her world that rightfully belong to her by their nasty spawn of Satan that doesn't have the ghost of claim to magic that preserved only for pureblood no they stole magic from them no claiming to claim something is to have an ownership right for it ,secondly they made her live among them doing low job that barley cover the bills ?
In infuriating he ran his hands through his long hairlines, he recalled that she would return them to their original length just the same length she putted will he did what he always does, impressive her.
He breathed in more of that scented smell of lavender, he noted to himself that in the manor he bought for them and just them he will grow lavender in the garden and more lovely flowers so when she walk the pathway it always have a scent she liked.
He has millions and more scenarios of their eternal life together, he had one year of isolation to plan it and write it down on the diary, even living them in his slumber.
He heard the sound of a door opening and he was half expecting that she will be joining him, he embraced himself to feel her body heat against his and move his body to the side of the bathtub making space for her and he moved a finger and music began a pleasing song filled the atmosphere but the bathroom door was not the one who opened that the bedroom one .
Korra was on the hallway , it was still Halloween night she called hear children screaming with enjoyment "trick or treat", she looked at the window and saw youngsters wearing cosplays of their favorite characters even that one of them even wore a suit and claimed to be bodyguard for his sister that wore a simple regular custom resemble modern princess. she got an instant flashback at the sign of the two.
It was Tom first year Halloween with her and she wanted to give him as normal childhood as someone like him called. Blaz was waiting for them at the living room to get ready for the ancient act of trick and treat.
"Are you sure you want to be wearing suit? I don't mind it but it's your choice " he simply nods and flashed her a lovely smile. "Yes bestie, I am really sure also I read in a book that cliché is overrated so why not use something new?" The boy that too mature for his age said , Korra theorized that his suffering and tormenting that he faced in the orphanage led him to be this developed in his mind but they say that trauma build the character ,it's a sacrifice of innocent for the gain of knowledge.
Korra left him to change to her custom in her room . the boy mentally scolded, he never liked this 'Blaz' , but for her he will pretend that he tolerate him until he find the perfect method to get him to leave them alone .he looked at himself on the mirror .the reflection showed his dark hair gracing his childhood feathers and his dark eyes matched the occasion and the suit that he insist on wearing will give an effect on anyone to not talk down to him.
After couple of minutes Korra come back wearing regular clothes that was not addressing the holiday at all, he extended his hand to her like a young gentleman , korra though he was being in the character so she took his hand into hers and they wordlessly went downstairs to join Blaz . The man jumped to his feet from seeing that she was not dress up and he was wearing skeleton custom . "You...you didn't dress up?" Blaz voice filled with disappointment as his eyes traveled between his custom and her regular everyday clothes . She shrugged "I am going in as a background character they don't dress shiny like the protagonist and antagonist, just normal to blend in" she took a good look at his custom and an idea popped into her head ." I can be the previous you ... Living just before death" Tom hand on her squeeze and he bite his lips making them thin line, just the idea of losing her to death was unbearable , he hated how death means separation of loved one, in his orphanage days he was starved out of love and caring that he craved so frantically, just because he was different than others doesn't mean he didn't yearn for his basic human right of emotional containing. That made him attached to her as she was the sole survivor with him after the apocalypse.
"And Tom? let me guess a high lord of a previous lifetime?" Blaz voice may come as cheery for others but to him it's as irritating as sharp nails on a chalkboard. He just couldn't wait to get him out of the picture. It took Tom a maximum of five seconds to put his fake tolerance for Blaz to display. His vocal was so calm and soft as his dark eyes held warmth of the sun in a winter morning "You can say so , but in fact I am korra's bodyguard...she may say she's a background character for someone story but for me she’s the heroine in my book" his eyes captivated with real emotions of gratefulness as he continues with charming tone ." She's my savior" with a kiss on her hand he finished.
"Tom....that’s too much .... You are too much of a true gentleman now " Korra who can't remember the last time someone made positive remark on her maybe it was when she worked in the ministry when Jonathan Morgenstern an aurora made a mistake of practicing magic to let out a fire when he was camping during his vacation unaware of unwanted attention of a muggle who was hiking which led the wizard to ask the ministry to send an obliviter to fix his undone, he called her in a friendly comment a light giver due after obliviating the muggle she didn't forget to bring with her a light to help him start a bonfire. That nickname become her code name after the accident .
"No bestie I am telling the truth....is that a tear?" Indeed she had a silent tear on her eyelids , "yes, something went into my eyes I think it was an eyelash" she was not lying completely since one was on her eyes and she had a tear because of the impact pf his words on her , it was fate giving her a merciful look.
"Let me rub it out for you" before she can protest he reach out his hand that she knelt to his head level allowing him to get the stubbornly eyelash for her but instead of dismissing it with his hand the boy put it on his hand palm . "Bestie what are you doing?" Korra was concerned that he will practice magic Infront of Blaz. "It's a saying in a folklore that if you put an eyelash on your hand and made a wish it will become true , come one bestie make a wish for me"
The woman mumbled lowly out of Blaz earshot but in Tom's one "I wish that we will stay best friends forever " and then she bellowed. ----- When they walked from house to house that was decorated for the night of the mythical creatures, enjoying the peaceful night without any accident until one that nearly ruining the night for them had happened . They were walking to the last house of the night when the one responded to the door ball was an obese man with his double chin and obvious vines that was nearly everywhere and his smell was straight out of butcher as he smelled of livestock fat and tissues , his eyes was too inside of him that he had to widen them to get great view opened the door. "Trick or treat" Tom said as he felt the weight of his bag full of sweets from the night . The man that awfully reminded anyone looking at him of a pig grinned as he looked above and behind Tom shoulders to Korra, his hands around the glass bowl he was holding tightened while colors of deep red exploded on his face he licked his lips as saliva escaped his mouth . "Oh dear lord knows I don't mind trick ...private trick from her " his tone heavy with unmistakable lust as he made clear with his eyes what type of tricks he seek from her . Blaz didn't get the time to respond to the direct verbal sexual harassment when it happened.
The bowl in the human pig hands exploded candies falling like tiny rain of child dream on the small area between them ,shards of glass entering the man body piercing his skin do deep that it surprised Blaz with how deep the shards buried into the man that they disappeared in him like pins hanging on a jacket not a living body , but that didn't shock Blaz more than the fact that in nothing but a miracle when the bowl exploded a wind blowing from behind them protected them from the shards . The pigman face was stuck on shook as he shaking tried to take out the shards with his fat fingers but in pointless efforts he failed , then his eyes widened even more that it was semi cartoonist as his bloody hands went to the place his heart was and it looked like he was having a heart attack but in fast and extremely misery and just like a pig he made a final cry that literally sounded like the said animal and he dropped dead.
What happened after it was the classic of making sure that Tom was fine as the later took the opportunity to hug her and bury his face into her claiming to be shocked by the tragic and trauma death that happened before his innocent child eyes, as Blaz dialed the police and ambulance informing them of the accident ,Tom was glad that the hug give him the cover for that dark grin on his face . He was wearing the suit suitable for a bodyguard...savior his extraordinary abilities helped him to live as the role ...her savior and not just for one night for all their life together.
Korra was back to the present time with feeling of his arms around her torso and hot breath on her ears as he whispered" do you remember that night? That pig of a man ...?" The edge of his voice was merciless ,his arms stiffed but didn't feel like the force that will case a break more like borderline feeling of a snake closing itself around her waist in a light hug . "Now that I think about it his death was....easy , I should have tortured him more , by that time I didn't realize the disturbing truth of his words I thought it was just trying to make you do a trick without me , I got this feeling of heavy burn inside me and then you saw what happened, if that happened now... " Still he didn't press harder on her torso but his chin rested on her shoulder and she saw scarlet on his orbs , mad with rage at the mere thought of dead man. his eyes softened when he saw that she was looking at his reflection. "Sorry love for that " he let her go only to take her hand and led her to the bedroom where a scissor lied on the table waiting to be used , a faint glow on the edge told her it was magical enchanted just like everything else in the house .he sat on at the chair and she knew what he wanted , that damn hair.
She realized a sign if she wanted to gain his trust and escape to the ministry of magic she will have to play the role . ---- "I am never a chief but at least let's try it" He made for them a dish that she didn't bother to look at it but when he sat the plate to her with a wave of his hands she saw it was a simple parmesan chicken . "Bone Appetit" he said as they began their meal, Korra found it mystery how he was still having a appetite after ordering Nagini to eat the shop owner but again that was just a drop of the black sea of his mistakes that she wanted to fix, she refused to accept the fact that her bestie is now someone that obsessed with her and claim it as love , for a second she paused as she realize that it was love and she knew it but he have his way of showing it that made the line between friendship and romantic relationship to be questionable. She forced herself to eat not wanting to know what he will do if she didn't.
Being done eating he waved again but this time the dishes disappeared in favor of bottle of wine and two glasses. "A toast for our eternity together" he raised his glasses and she knew that she have to do her part of the tradition. "For our eternity" 'until I escape to the ministry ' and there was nothing but the sound of their glasses cracking .
---- They were laying on the bed with a book on her lap as she was reading and he was following making comments on how the characters were predictable and nothing new happen. As if he's complaining was a cue an owl dropped a letter to his lap. He led go of the hand that was holding his before flashing her an apologetic smile and opened the letter.
{Done} with no sender information at all.
Korra didn't remove her eyes away from the book "you are right they are so foreseeable" he kissed her head ,"I love when you admit I am right ....maybe that's will make you see how deeply I am willing to go for you , purging the wizarding society is just a tip of what I am capable of and how far I will go for you" his voice was one of those who have a sugar rush . "Muggles need us the same way we need them..."she firmly said ,he took a deep breath "we don't need them at all, they can't use magic to safe one of their loved one dying or even to simply left an object ....they drove you away from where you truthy belong " his tone hold grudges as if he was born for it . "I left because it became toxic with all the pureblood maniacs " he paused looking at her in disbelief. She took at as signal to continue " I mean I know a lot of muggle born who are brilliant with a lot of potential unlike some purebloods who have squib in their family " she grinned falling victorious . "The only reason for squib to happen is because a mudblood took the said squib , muggles are nothing but kelptomaniacs that need to be punished for the crime of taking what not belonging to them" that victory in her died at his reply, she knew that there is no point on keeping this conversation going. "Five" he said with a silky voice . In puzzling state of mind she looked at him . There is no need to ask as he understood her without talking . "Each single time you defend those low life of mudblood and muggles I will end five of them, the ratio will vary it can be five kids , five men, five elders , five women , a twin child and woman and two men , or to make the odd preferable five pregnant women so that bonus " He said that with a teasing amount of causality like he was reading a newspaper . "You can't do that....think about how Blaz will feel" a finger on her chin forced her to have eye contact with that flame of hell . "Don't you dare to say any male name around me .... especially Blaz he was the worst , really he need to be learn to mind his own business and he had absolutely no respect for personal space " he silenced himself to collect air in his lungs. "He was my secret keeper and you know what his death did , it was what made my existence return to the wizarding world " hint of regret was on her voice but she didn't take her eyes of his bluntly to keep that fact buried into his mind.
"You do realize that they have a shorter lifespan then us, why not choosing a wizard to be the secret keeper? “he was not complaining but did she really disliked to that level how toxic the situation of blood state was? This time she avoided eye contact with him "it's felt the only way to truthy have nothing left to come back to that society" What do they say about anyone who avoided eye contact when he in the middle of a conversation?, Clear sign of a lie . He smugly grinned at the conclusion that she had something that will always connect her to the that world. He just needed to find it, he had that ambition that he wanted no, eager to clarify the fog of mystery surrendering his soulmate past. "You know , lovely angel , you never told me about your time as a witch save being an obliviter I want to know facts like your magical state , what you did in Hogwarts ?, If you had any childhood friend or took solace in being friends with books?" He freed her chin of his finger to lean back to the head of the bed to observe every single move she makes. She felt a knot in her throat, her past was nothing, but song of loneliness played with melody of tragedy. She was a love child of misfortune and loss,
"At a very young age I learned that nothing good last forever "
Her very first memory is this, It was her seventh birthday with her parents they were celebrating it in the forest surrender by a lot of creatures, her father holding her to reach a tree branch where a small nest had bird that was too shy to go and see what the world have to offer, "daddy he is so shy , he won't take the worm from me" her tiny voice hold disappointment, her father slowly lowered her back to the ground fearing that a rush will harm her , "sweet one , it's too early for him to step out of his safety shell to the outside " he kissed his daughter head. Her mum was setting on a rug that they brought with them that on it their lunch and a simple cake for three , her skin glowed attractively in the sun light her brown hair gracefully freefall on her without any style to keep their beauty away. The little girl walked to her mother that embraced her so tightly as she whispered to her "Happy birthday" her father who had black hair and heterochromia eyes , one was grey the other hazel, he was watching the scene with butterflies on his stomach, how lucky he is to get both a beautiful wife and lovely daughter it was so contiguous euphoric like a scene a painted by an artist of what the first minutes in heaven like. The girl remembered a trick she can do but it required a baby animal such as a bunny or hare . "Mommy , daddy I am going to show you something really cool just wait for me" Her mother had a book in her lap and her father laid down looking at the clouds telling his wife the shapes they remind him off , her mother extracted her wand from her pocket. "Expecto Patronum" from her wand busted a silver ghostly runespoor, it's three head tall with pride and in that sunlight it give him a glow of grace . "I will protect you " it was awkward to hear her mom voice from the Patronus but she got used to it from the second time , Patronus are meant to be guardians even companions for the lonely souls, never she felt the intense feeling of her blood turning ice on her vines from the terror of the runespoor Infront of her , she found him comfortable and favorable to have around when her parents where working, call it a questionable choice of babysitter but the three head serpent was her only friend ,they were living on a shack in the forest it was not fancy neither in poor condition but perfect for the small family with no civilian only for a small town that was miles away what was it name? Little Hangleton.
It's a small town actually with nothing of interest, the family lived in peace away from the anything that was civilian, self-sustaining themselves form the little garden they have and a nearby river. They had jobs small one in the town enough to get them by and never to let them feel short hand and waiting from pay check to another . It's was all so peaceful and paradise like. It was too good to be truth, too good to be left without darkness tinting it .
Korra went deeper to that forest not lost due to the the patronus keeping a clever watch and map of the soul to its caster ,when she didn't only find a bunny but a wounded child around eight years old . "You don't look so good " she draw closer to him , now that she was closer she took a good look at him , curly platinum hair and strange purple eyes , albino?, And a gashes covering his body he was bleeding heavily. "I am on my way " again the patronus spook with that voice . "What happened to you?" Her curiosity was over the roof . "I...I was attacked by a wild creature I don't remember it's shape it was fast...so fast and brutal he left me to die as you see “the child spook with wary voice . "My mom is coming to help, my name is Korra" all what she can do is to speak to him to keep him awake. "Nice name for a nice child, mine is Godric, tell you what we are going to be friends , actually we already are "he give her a little smile as his lips managed to part. The girl eyes widened , "friends ?, Really ...I have no friends like living flesh and bone one" she didn't have any at all the town people didn't have any child as if they were so afraid to bring any to the world due to the economic crisis that was going on yet they give her parents looks she didn't understand and her looks of discomfort and pity but to finally have a friend it was an experience that she longed for , she read about it in books and always longed for someone to call a friend other than runespoor . "Korra dear , step aside I want to aid the child " her mom took out her wand and the tip of her wand touched the child body. In a blink of eye, a heartbeat ,the boy vanished , long gone his aurban locks and purple eyes , now standing on all four a creature of darkness and eyes of the devil , lava like eyes glowing with bleeding red , and his voice bottomless hole it must be what an vengeance will be like if it had a voice , his teeth so sharp it was surprise it didn't cut that long tongue . "I knew I will find a Huffman here ...not one but two my dark lord Grindelwald will be so pleased " he snicker , her mom come in front of her shielding her . "Go and tell your lord that he can make love to himself that all I care about " her wand never left her hand as she throws a hex at him , he judge with a jump upwards , it was thing of wonder how a being of that mass is able to move with such agility and in a blink of eye landed behind them , the patronus sprinted attacking at the same time that her mother made a protection charm to her daughter not caring for her safety , the creature went invisible the same minute the patronus hit him and dismissing into thin air .
"We are friends korra just you and your mommy come with me to the dark lord" he mocked ,voice coming from everywhere and nowhere . "Think about what your place will be with my Lord , your daughter too, you are wasting away all your potential and abilities here " a shift in the branch of nearby tree made her mother send a hex at it . The jinx hit the tree with but no monster was on it . It was right next to her child, who was shaking . 'f....friend .monster. They do this...trying to kidnapped their friend to a bad guy....I don't want that ' Her daughter magic core what in chaos and the aura around it growing viciously , repealing against the protection charm , creating an orb of gray cocoon . Her mother was torn between keeping her daughter save and calming her and defeating the monster. The creature open his mouth so wide but it was not the teeth to be terrified off, it's spitted a texture liquid and sticky it rained from his mouth like riddle of bullets at them , but before it can touch any one of them it froze . His body abruptly vibrated brutally , and like a fireworks it explode . Korra magic murdered him. Her mother was caught off guard, her daughter was more powerful then she thought she need to learn to stabilize that magic before wrong hand find her . She rushed to her hugging her , " I am so sorry you had to witness that, so sorry for what happened , you are alright right ?" She briefly scanned her daughter, wide teary eyes, and shock on her face. "Mom is that what friend do..." It was not a question, a broken statement. "No.....they do this " the monster voice raged again with a tone that will hunt her for the rest of her life . Her mom eyes froze when she realized what the creature actually was .... It was ultio. Ultio was the worst ever, it should never ever be killed, once he is dead, he literally brings his murderer down with him to the grave. There was only one way to survive. "I love you " she kissed her daughter check and hugged her so tightly shielding her from what was happening . She heard to sound of blood spilled and tissues of body ripped off as the creature killed her mom and was gone with her. One Huffman was gone , another shocked to the core . Her mother sacrifice made the girl to be invincible and untouched by any dark force.
Her father grows worried from not seeing anyone return as he felt heavy silence, even the birds were silent, he just woke up from a nap. "Love, Korra??" The cake and food were left untouched, again no answer. He felt string leading him forward to the deeper part of the forest. The deeper he got the more the lack of sound become ominous. Until he saw the scenery.
A bony body hugging a frozen bloody living one , and the hair covering the girl become red with blood . He lost it. ----- "Daddy I am so sorry...I wanted to show you and me....why aren’t you looking at me?" Her father was gone in his mentally and it had been days since that cursed day, be barley ate , slept that was when he was home , when he was not he drowned himself in work ,locked the house on his daughter who desperately needed someone to calm her from all the mental attacks she have , there was no runespoor anymore to keep her company, no friend , not a soul but her and his dad who is mentally dead ,refusing to accept it , part of him died with his wife he couldn't bear to look at his daughter she was the spilling image of his late wife, not acknowledge her , like she died with her mother. For four years she didn't hear her father voice at all, just crying and ugly whining. She never spoke during that four years at all , so when an owl appeared dropping a letter of acceptance to Hogwarts ,like a robot her father moved his eyes hallow and took her to get her things for the school . --- Now they were at the train express , families where hugging their children goodbye promising to exchange letters , her father gaze to the unseen as he just waved goodbye. She didn't bother to wave back at all.
"Salvatore ,Korra Salvatore" the sorting hit said her name , she walked toward it ,not caring which house she will be into , the hat was putted on her head . "You are unique one here, not many like you , I can name very few who share the same magical core like you ...I see intelligence and bookworm Ravenclaw will be great for you... But you are loyal and love fair play ...it's equal the traits of the two houses on you hmm it's difficult for you ...is that a trace of .... oh, my let it be ... Hufflepuff!" The said house clapped and giving her a warm welcome , she didn't feel a string even when curious eyes looked at her wondering what the sorting hat was going to say as he cut himself off before announcing her house . Time passes and she never gained any friend , she didn't want another Godric she wanted her mother back she wanted her father back from the dead , it's like she become orphan losing them both . Soon even her house learned to leave her alone she was shut down of the world it's all black and grey no white that white left along with runespoor that patronus friend , she never spoke a word unless it's absolutely necessary and to cast a spell other time they thought that she was mute , but as more news come by about the dark lord and people more and more terrified, her sleep had a lot of nightmare surrounding by one word Grindelwald, what was that wizard and why he wanted her and her mother so badly ?, It's definitely have to be about her family from her mother side. In one evening her mother made her promise that she will never ever tell anyone she was Huffman rather than she was a Salvatore from her father side , she didn't know why but she made that promise without asking . Her father had no family at all, he was orphan didn't have a foster family. Her mother never told her about her family or even if she has one . Still the mystery around that Grindelwald and her family hunted her , she wanted answer and a book in the restricted section will contain the answer. But all what she had to do is to one of the perfect students to be able to get access there. So becoming teacher pet and bookworm she was her approach .around the time that her pairs where getting hormonal she was ignoring all the looks of admiration that she got from boys , she felt gross by it , no one will deny that she was beautiful .she never let herself feel the need to have a friend let alone lover .was she asexual aromatic? She didn't care at all to leave her heart open to anyone . she found solace in the darkness , in the middle of the night one day she realized she was nyctophile , that was when a teacher asked randomly if a student preferred light or darkness more if they preferred sun time or moon time since that cursed day of her mother untimely passing and she avoided everything that reminded her of it , even light .she felt her light wither fading more into a grey one .
"Listen today lesson is about casting a Patronus " she temporary froze as if she was stunned by stupefy, the others didn't give her a mind . "To conjure it you have to think of a memory that make you happy , feel you with joy " she felt sick on her stomach .
"Good job Felix of Slytherin. Your Patronus is a stage that quite amazing...Miss Salvatore you are next " Korra knew what will happen before hand , she rise her wound looking at her wand tip and said the spell, nothing at all not even a spark or pity excuse of smoke. "Thing of a happy memories dear " then she doesn't recall what happened but when she come by her class was terrified and she was quickly dismissed of the class.
----- It's he fourteen birthday, she was setting with a teacher in her office. "I am so sorry for your loss dear , you must have been so close to him that his loss affected your magic that day" she felt her teacher words of condolences . When she got that letter that day she didn't feel anything negative more like relief that her father joined her mother , at least he was happy there and content . Not her , she never smiled at all , she looked to be more suitable to be Lady of darkness then light .
"......" "I understand your grief I am here for you " "He was dead long time ago" her tone was colder and lack the care. She left her teacher stunned as she exists the room.
Korra was not completely unaware of her surrounding she just knew the elephant in the room when it comes to wizarding society was always blood state . She was half blood , she didn't know about her mother blood state if she was pure or not , but it was unfair that a teacher will be extra careful marking muggle born and careless when marking pure blood, and the bullying was so unbearable for those muggle born , from calling them mudblood to physical beating . It was unjustified at all, it had to be stopped no one was doing anything like it was the norm , even when a first year was being cornered by a pack of fourth years . It's the harsh reality of that world, she told herself that she will try to make them say what they were doing was wrong but the only way for it was if she had a high position in the ministry of magic.
On her sixteen birthday she found the answer, the restricted section illuminated by her wand the light casted shadows in her face among with the darkness of the night made the scene to be out of a mystery movie , the book of about every magical family that existed. 'H for Huffman ' she found her family from her mother side . 'Huffman have a long and interested origin , they began in the early dawn of the magical history ,legend says this that a Huffman witch found an injured animal(tale varies about the animal type some says it's a dove , dire wolf, phoenix, cat or another animal )  on the blink of death ,no passerby spare the dying animal any glance , the Huffman witch who had heart of gold took the animal in and spend countless of night nursing it back to health in the expense of her what little of supply she had and time , once the animal is back healthy , the unexpected happened , it's turned out to be an divine being. "Congrats dear witch , you are the only one who passed the test" the holy creature said his voice was so captivating and delightful. The witch was catch up by the creature ethereal beauty and light . "You and your entire bloodline will be blessed , you will have the full package, beauty , wealth , talents, abilities and luck, I have been testing witch community to see who will earn my blessing" the witch didn't approve or disapprove she tough that she died nursing the creature and this was her going through the afterlife ,but a light touch on her check told her it was real ."thanks but I was doing the right thing ", the angelic beamed. "It's a gift ,pure lady ". Korra couldn't finish reading the rest of the tale . She just closed it , tears on her eyes and onerous in her stomach. Her mother died because of a legend , and she knew that Grindelwald won't rest until he get a Huffman to join him but why he couldn't get another one or went on a hot pursue for them earlier ? If her bloodline was that of a jewel for a crown, why no one mentioned them earlier? What she believes will answer her questions have risen more questions than satisfied her. She closed the book and returned to her dorm.
The next morning she found a ray of hope when she heard that Grindelwald was captured and for the first time since more than half her life she smiled and the words that lift her lips were one of kind . "Fuck you Grindelwald" and a sea of shocked wizards and witches looked at her . ----- When she graduated from Hogwarts she got a lot of work offers from everyone who had a high position in the society , the thing is she never learned how to use that 'blessed' side since her mother didn't tell her how to use it , the only thing that was default was the looks . She didn't care about wealth since she was not one to spend it on trivia things. The only job she accepted was the obliviter position in the ministry of magic , she became obliviter for the hope to be promoted to higher position that will let her voice be heard about the racism unethical practice . It's funny to be memory wiper when you are yourself hunted and broken by your past . But as time process by and more years flew by that hope died on her , it transformer into dark void in the black hole of herself, they didn't care , they accepted the fact that it's written on stone , you see when generation rise a generation it's rise them on the previous learning that they got from the generation who risen them and the generation that is being risen will sink in the learning in like a sponge in its mindset and being risen to care more about blood state then potential is one of those things. So it was no surprise when she quit her job and moved into muggle world .
She never realized just how lonely she was until one day when it was December and numerous people pass by congratulating each other for the upcoming Christmas , a child walked to her being so full of the spirit and congrats her for it . "Lady, I hope you have a Joyful Christmas with your family and friends" Friends....she had none she couldn't even conjure the spell that heavy emphasis on happy memories. Friends were not for her , ' they either turn out to be server of the dark or one that prejudge so much ...they are risen like this ......risen wait ... Why not adopt one and mold him into a friend that is what I seek for , what I lost, who accept me for being who I am ?' It was the only option she had , all the others was unfavorable as the old saying say beggars can't be choosers. Desperate time lead to desperate methods and outcomes. Before she knew she was standing in front gates of wool's orphanage.
"And that lead us to where we are now, bestie " she dropped the last word like a spokesperson dropping the mic after victorious speech.
The dark lord was in utopia , it just couldn't get any better, every single peace for the puzzle fall together creating the perfect picture, fate really outdone herself in this love story it’s a masterpiece , he was broken by his past just like her ,he saw how the society was toxic ,they were half-bloods her family from her mother side was pure blood descended from the origin of Helga Hufflepuff  his from mother side rooted from Salazar Slytherin , both of their fathers were unfortunately muggles , he will forgive fate for making them muggle , also they come from the same village, what a wonderful gift to have two decedent from two out of four now dead houses to be soulmates? it must be that their ancestors were one too, and that the great Salazar went mad when a muggle tried to take his other half away from him, it all fit perfectly fine, she was expert in advanced level of magic just like him , safe that she is so shy to show it off.
Korra knew from how she found his arms around her waist and his lips on her that his obsession have grown worse , she told him her entire background to give him window on herself a chance to let him see that she’s beginning to heal and see him as what he saw her, a step to her freedom.
so, when his kisses become more demanding and hungrier, she gives in.
----
its bright afternoon when his hand sneaked like spider legs from her back to rest at her shoulders and he printed a kiss on her cheeks before saying in nobbling words "love its time" she nearly dropped her calm facade, time for what? there weeding or to do the traditional purposing to her?, only one way to find out.
"what is it time for? Beloved one" she forced the words out of her lips, its worse than the fresh memory of that creature and its acid rain.
"to move to our new home" she looked at him like he was having a second face behind him , he adored every single expression she was making except the painful one , a pure lightness like her way not allowed to have a painful look, it's ruin that perfection on her esthetic face , he careless toyed with a hair lock , speaking about expression he was lately wondering about the type of faces she will be making from the gift he got for her. "But our belongings, we can't leave them" ‘oh sweet angel you really are worried about muggles devices  aren't you.’ "I took good care of them " As they existed the place Korra with their luggage that was magical transformed to their new home , he just had to be extra dramatic and burn the house down, he smiled as he cut down the last string that pinned her to the muggle world, there was truthy no turning back now, not when the orphanage that they crossed by was with ear tearing screams of agony. -------- The marble floor felt pleasing against her bare feet , in other life she showing more awe for that manor or mansion that was her new home ,every single detail was phenomenal , what is it with dark lord ,heir of Slytherin and incredible taste? , It's like she was in heaven. Heaven..... No heaven was worth the price of one freedom and free will.
"I told you I can give you the world and more , here it is, just name the thing and in a snap of a finger it's yours" he purred seductively. She had to remind herself to earn his trust to get a chance of that sweet freedom . She run her finger to the outline of his sharp jawline and stood up on we toes the same way he was kneeling to her level , arms around her waist to give her access to his ear . "I already have everything I want " her whisper send shiver to his spine and goosebumps to his skin . "Precious one , you don't have the tinniest idea of what you are doing to me now " his dark eyes landed in hers as his thumb found her lips gently running to her upper one . --- As she took a bath , it was out of blue , a lightbulb opened in her mind and then Epiphany happened , her heart nearly stopped when a sense of revelation washed on her .
He needed her more than air , his soulmate She needed him her one true friend , obsessed and all but he understood her at the bottom of his heart. Messed up relationship but fate granted her that wish. They were part of each other that forever intertwined, tangled and become one.
Speaking about fate she wanted to know why her out of everyone had to be his....
A knock on the bathroom door made her flinch , the level of the water that was crowned with petals of rare flowers rose higher then it's container level. "My lady I am so sorry to disturb you in your  time of showring but he told me he have present for you " she was glad it was not Tom voice rather a house elf one ,if her memory serves her right she will safely recall the name of Delphine for the voice owner . "It's alright Delphine thanks for telling me that" she knew that he send her to send curiosity in her to see him and know what is the present was, sneaky one isn't he, she got dressed he made sure that all of her wardrobe had luxuries clothes from every item manmade ,they had to be highest of the high end or else in his eyes it will not do her right, his wardrobe is not of a differ from hers , she settled for a simple yellow summer dress and a high socks to cover her knees , she will never wear anything short when he is in her radar.
"Precious one, you don't have the tinniest idea of what you are doing to me now "
his voice sink on her, she will never wear any short that exposes her skin, not that she was a fan of short clothes to begin with.
the marble floor welcomed her feet as the house elf led her to the garden, more accuracy one of the gardens. The ridiculous size of the land was as if it was a small country of its own and here is, he the man of the question standing and giving her a bow before claiming her hand and planting a kiss on it.
"I missed you" 
"I was in the bath for twenty minutes, Riddle" his lips twisted.
"lovely angel, you don't have to remind me of the agonistic amount I was not around you" there is a lock for doors for a reason and it’s to keep the lovesick away.
she saw a box, its green color had yellow ribbons on its surface cycling it like a snake, even the house elf can tell why he chose those colors. His thumb flirt with her hand as he rubs on them, liking her body heat.
"I love the feeling of our skin together its feels right" and she longed to be contained but not like that, it’s wrong on all the right places, right on the wrong reasons.
"I am here for the present, curiosity is killing me" god by the time she escapes she will have a lifetime to spend on therapist and that therapist will need another one for himself after every session with her.
he give her a worried glance and his tone heavy with concern "my one, don't you say or suggest something like that ever again, I can’t live with the idea of losing you " she was not imagining the wet tear on his eyes , out of habit she put her hand wiping it out, out of nature he take that hand press it on his cheek before leading it to his lips and kissing it. with his extended long arm he retrieve the box, when she put distance between them he gesture for her to open it , and when she does she is captured by the present beauty.
Salazar Slytherin locket had never shined so brightly like it did in that light "you like it don't you?" her eyes had been captured by the locket and he took his sweet time glancing at every detail of her face, "its mesmerizing"
"just like you" lord have mercy, smooth one she will give him that
"turn around" he ordered.
she obeyed and his long thin fingers skillfully opened the lock and he putted it on her, it felt so right and marvelous.
"I have another present for you".
----
Azkaban eerie atmosphere screamed death and doom, it was home for him, forced to call it home after spending more than decade in it he felt strange link to it ,Grinderwarld face has aged but his feathers was still identifiable as what he was. A dark lord.
memories of his region of terror hang beyond his inner mind, his goals of making wizards and witches a superior to muggles as if it supposed to be, his only key to make that noble dream to come true lay no other than Huffman's ,this unique and sacred bloodline have unimaginable powers that no warlock or the darkest wizards could even dream off, but the dispute pose within that they are cleverly vanished from the history like they were a myth, a fragment of one imagination or even made up legend of a story to be told in a lazy winter night to children.
when he finally discovered how they managed to remain under the radar he wanted to slap the back of his head in shame, a secret keeper that pass before death the secret of the bloodline existence to another secret keeper ,foxy way to disappear but it’s not safe from the short stick of the said secret keeper untimely death, this is how they returned to existence, all what left was to find only one of them to join him, he place off lots of his followers to different places in hope to catch a wind of one of them, the more time it took the deeper his desire turned deadly , forget deathly hollows ,Huffman were the real deal, soon his fascination turned into obsession ,its forbid him from resting until he got one Huffman into his army , no it didn't matter the age , gender or blood state of the said Huffman.
He have two different aims to fulfill , firstly to get Lady Macy Galen (Korra mom) as his wife and queen, secondly to make wizards superior, ever since he met her and all what he could think off was her, his time with her as her fellow student of Beauxbatons academy of magic and they could get a future that will be envied by others, all was good until she fall in love with that muggle , he went basilisk and nearly killed him if it was not for his best friend Dumboldore stopping him, Dumboldore who is now six feet under the dirt and dead ,just like Macy .
he felt a stub of pain in his chest at that though, he waited and longed for death to get him save out of this world to her, she will always hate what he become , cant she see it was all for her?, he become dark lord to get her to notice him, why did a muggle stole her from him, he will never forget his elation when he discovered she was a Huffman ,universe love to throw every single twist at him.
he heard two footsteps walking toward his cell, one was so light like bunny, the other was balanced like a model on runaway ,the two walked in symphony that if he didn't gain acute hearing from complete solitude he will mistake them as one. He felt a wave of magic consuming all of his sense and then when he come by he found himself pined to the wall of his cell with chains, Lord Voldemort himself was honoring him with his visit and he had a women with him ,two dark lords in the same cell and a light being trapped with them.
Grindelwald looked at the women and he froze, "Ma. Mancy you are alive?" he visited her grave even digger it himself and he felt the corpse, she was truly gone, that leave one possibility. "you are her daughter" he jabbered, "Huffman, blood and soul and everything in between " the falling dark lord cooed, not believing that his dream walked to him literally. "yes she is , and keep that dirty toughs to yourself or else you want to test crucia on you " never Grinderwarld felt that the other was using legilimency  on him, he didn't even make eye contact at him or felt him invading his mind, he was as good as the rumors had him to be.
"on what honor you two are visiting me for?" 
it was kora who spoke "answers ", he noticed that Voldemort had his hands on her waist a clear sign of relationship and saying that she was his ,he couldn’t help but to imagine him in the other position and the daughter as her mother, it will be flawless world to make that imagination see the light , Voldemort growled and then there was nothing but the feeling of his bones turning dust through unmistakable penalty of the crime of imagination, he was being cruciaed .
he didn't know the duration of it but when it was over he found himself on the cold floor and panting like a thirsty dog, “hope that enough to make you cooperative " Voldemort voice white noise compare to the main attraction of the Huffman.
"Tom , the sooner that I ask the questions the sooner that we get out of here , it’s depressing to be here" her tone was so sweet he wanted to hear every day, if only she was Mancy,"as you wish love , I don't have a string of like in my heart for a lich like him" the gentle manner that he was speaking to her was of one of those movies about purest form of love.
"firstly, why starting the entire regain and why my bloodline of every other, I know of the powers but still get a life "
"my life ended with your mother death, I tried to commit suicide on her grave holding her corpse, but the auroras found me and now I am here “she was stunned by his answer.
"didn't anyone tell you that you are creepy obsessive lovesick specie? “he chuckled, her mother told him that a lot, but he was being her soulmate and where is the crime to love your soulmate?
"darling, do you mean me?" Voldemort asked not being sure if she was speaking to him or the falling.
"no , Tom you are my soulmate “she had to fight off the urge to choke herself , he was her bestie not lover.it had magic on him as he kissed her lips quickly .Grindelwald smirked "you don't know about the rest of the story of your bloodline do you?", a sense of dread fall on her heart , his tone had no good news on it ,he took the silence as his que to answer, “the brighter your light shine, the darker your shadow become, your bloodline have a quirk that no one will wish for on their worst enemies , to attract darkness to you , to make dark lords desire only you, yes ..to have a soulmate of darkness obsessively over you "
there is it, that cursed word that doomed her from the dawn of time, the word that awaken the devil himself that was Tom Marvalo Riddle,the delusion that in a twist of fate become truth , become her reality.
"even you know that me and her are soulmate its must to be one of kind bond that others envy us for" Tom arms caged her waist even more , "but still I can’t alter my mind of your fate " Grindelwald felt confused by Voldemort words.
before Tom could do the signature move himself korra pointed a finger at the gray-haired dark lord, infamous green light brushed from her finger illuminating the room with deadly green.
one dark lord was dead, the other having his body pressed against hers
----
"why are we in the chamber of secrets" she asked feeling a sense of raw confusion, “love , to meet the legacy that Salazar himself left as a prove that he will always love Helga at the extend of passing it to all the generation"
"a chamber that its only accessible through girls’ toilets, pervert" he laughed "I love that sense of humor of yours "
he hissed in parseltongue and the basilsilk merged in, with his eyes closed, “that it’s the legacy, touch it dear, its smooth right? but it’s no match to your skin" he flirted 
indeed it was smooth and left pleasing feeling in her when she touched it ,but her mind was occupied by what she did to Grinderwarld, she didn't know what she was doing it’s like her body took matter into itself and acted up, she didn't know if it was part of the powers or not ,she had not felt that feeling of raw power before its felt so natural and deep within her soul , buries and left unattended until that moments its awaken itself .
 music fall on her hearing and Tom bowed to her like a gentleman and then they danced there ,she had to act the part , after all there weeding is months from now and her only chance of escaping is the tradition of the groom leaving the bride for 24 hours that due there weeding, until then she will act , act , act until then.....
"he made the basilisk to be protector of her bloodline against mudbloods "his voice will be great for narrating any story, engaging anyone to it ,he span her and when her wrist found his , something magical happened .it come like streams of raw cosmic energy , ancient language that manifested itself within and settled there , a feeling of liquid ink of the stars themselves being written on their waists , when it was done its left words that was solid truth.
I can’t live without you
he hummed that song in relish and a long finger touched the words on her waist, it was so ghostly that his finger can be a breeze of air in a summer night ,she saw her counterpart on his waist the exact same words that can summarize there entire being.
-----
the manor felt oddly like something changed within it that matched her change , when they returned there were as always bowing death eaters to them and sentences of compliments as if both of them were a personified version of an answered prayer , till this day she couldn't get used to it , she found appreciation that he was born for the spotlight and she was born to shy away from it .
so, she failed to notice a follower mumbling to him words of approval of a delivery.
"why are we heading down?" she had never been to this part of the manor before in matter of fact she hasn’t seen all of it.
"It had failed to my attention that there is something I turned blind eye on and its should be done long time ago but you know ,my angel, that I was busy with a lot of important business to give that thing its attention" he bubbled hands holding her , leave it to him to give a speech that indirectly answer her. he loved to hear his voice, didn't he?
the door opened and what lies behind that closed door should stay behind it.
Tom riddle was being bonded by unseen robes to his rusty chair, it was not her Tom that she knew , it was the forty something version of him , what he will look like if he didn't do that deed ,if he was remind mortal and aged gracefully, his muggle father held there and completely helpless.
"why is he here?" it’s the only thing in her mind that buzzed louder then thunder.
"you mean dear, why is he still alive till now? don’t worry he won’t be" the senior made a gagging sound in response to his son assertion.
 "ohh does my fool father have anything to say?, what a low life that carry made blood in his vines , a beetle that only purpose in life is to be lab genie for the wizards to test new research on" he paused for a minute to inhale a breath .
"you left my mother knowing that you are unworthy of her, she was larger than life and you were lower than the dirt" the senior again made a gag sound.
"Tom can you ungag him I want to know what he will say" she didn't care what the other will hay but she knew that her Tom will never stop talking if it was about his loathing for his father his grudge for him was undying , just like his obsession with her.
"as you wish, soulmate" with a lazy wave of his middle finger to his father, he could talk now, and the very first words were....
"Fuck you son" 
what a classic, its run on the family, touché.
the junior giggled, " I am not interested on you, only in your bloodlust death, actually it’s her who should I fuck"
one thing that both of she and her father had in common, both had disgust look on them, she was glad that his attention was on his offspring and the later was glaring daggers at him to notice her greenish skin.
"now now don't you dare to get any idea of yourself in my position, you mud scam" the junior harshly said ,jealousy of something that never happened burning him, just when she tough that his condition couldn't  get any worse.
"I will never think of a lady of the street like her in that way, I , who have the blood of Riddle in my vine , the heir to all ...ohhhhhh" his scream of agony nearly tore down his throat  and korra found herself again in that rotten cell in Azkaban and the dead dark lord Grinderwarld dead eyes looking at her , empty with no light, he was in the afterlife now, but Crucio curse had one thing that its due to the miserable receiver, they cry sound exactly the same, that why in her mind both screams of Grinderwarld and Tom senior merge as one.
the junior sound as he stopped the curse brought her back to the present, "I am the hier of slytherine , blood of ancient pure blood run to my vine with magic you cannot imagine should end you, for this crimes, being mudblood , daring to think of marking my soulmate as yours and finally abounded my dear mother who died of a broken heart , you were never the man to stay there by her side when she needed you the most"
korra looked at the senior ,she was astonished to see the face two halves now, one for the for his father, the other for hers, she saw the similarities , both of them were never there for them leaving them to the dark , to suffer burdens that crashed them, there innocent is gone.
she felt wave of void consuming her, "kill him, he is waste of space " she was hissing, the senior looked at her as if she was the bogyman of his nightmare, Grim the ripper come for his soul.
"love!! you are truthy amazing aren't you, the reason why I remembered him was when I visited my mother grave that day and your too" 
that glorious green light showed up and her father died again.
-----
its white and wonderful, her dream was miracle of light, pure in it natural form, if it not for that old man of infamous long beard and half-moon shaped glasses. They stared at each other for a very long time before he began.
"Korra Huffman or Lady Hope, I am quite disappointed in you" no hello?
"why?"
"you are literally the only one who could stop him, the prophecy was fraud to get you some time to act and be Lady Hope, he only answers to you, his soulmate" 
"I am traying to bid my chance, but it is getting worse, he even threatened to kill five muggles each time I defend them" at her answer Dumboldore shrugged.
"it’s for the greater good, there death among Harry and Neville just like your mom"
time froze in that dream if that possible and so her mind, did he just....
"you are the one behind the certain, the one who send Ultio, but why"
Dumboldore began his speech and his task of explaining his deed.
"you believe in the butterfly effect don't you?, I know about your bloodline, I know that my Grinderwarld only weakness was your mother, his soulmate ,he only cared about her, I know about the quirk of your bloodline so I did that , I killed her by sending that Ultio, I know that your magic will act up killing him and triggering it all, then when she sacrificed herself Grinderwarld died with her so he tried to be physically dead to join her , and her death send your father to the state of numbness which made you what you are today so you could stop him, stop Voldemort make him see that killing muggles is wrong"
she shut down.
"YOU RUINED MY LIFE, DISTROYED ME WITH NO REPAIR, MADE MY LIFE LIVING HELL, MY PAST IS KILLING ME, MY PRESENT IS UNCHANGING, MY FUTURE IS DARK, ALLL FOR WHAT?"
Dumoldore didn't flich at her breakdown, he softly answered with voice clam and solid with no doubt even a hint of it.
"it’s for the greater good"
her mind showed her the alternative of the light lord action "if only you didn't do it I will never met him and he will never believe that we are soulmate, he will never be obsessed with me"
"oh dear child of light, it’s true, you are soulmates , there is no avoiding it , even if I didn't do what I did, he will still find you , still get you, even if he burned down the world to claim you from its ashes , there is no running from it, never"
"you are crazy you are just as dark as him, are you truthy in the light side?"
"yes, I died as I lived..."
"completely mad man"
"there was only one way to stop him, but you didn't take it that what disappoint me "
she woke up with cold sweat on her and her heartbeat so loud in her ears but it was nothing compared to her nightmare ,she found Riddle legs closing around her legs and his arms caging her torso ,like the symbol of his house he was embracing her in a snake like manner needing her body heat but it was more than the heat , she was in top of him so she felt it ,his heart beat matched hers in it racing he was still sleeping and he had heavy blush on him  , she looked at him and his face was peaceful like he was light lord not the most darkest of them all  if she didn't know she will be taken back by that face but again even the devil was once an angel, now cold blooded murderer, and so is  Dumbledore.
she saw her waists and that words on them, in that state of mind all what she saw was the word (out)  she really needed to get her nightmare out of her mind , so it’s no surprise when her nails scratch the word out .
again, and again, stronger with each turn.
'get out, get out, get out'
that nightmare is a new demon on her collection among with the epiphany of everything that had happened to her.
Where there is truly light side and dark side? she belonged to none, the light side forsaken her after its destroyed her, leaving her to be claimed by the dark side, sacrificing her like a lamb.
she smirked; she was going to show them wrath of the lamb.
her blood fall on his shirt.
-----
she was at the library with a book titled (all about soulmates) by a bitch of a witch that she didn't care about, she was now at the section of signs of a soulmate. ten ill signs.
1. You just know it.
'nope, but everyone said it'
2. They're your best friend.
' unfortunately, yes'
3. You feel a sense of calm when around them.
'before the storm, yes, I did feel calm around him when they lived at her house of the muggle world, now I still do because I am allergic to death eaters' 
4. You have extreme empathy for them.
'it’s every Hufflepuff thing, it’s my thing to be empathic'
5. You respect each other.
'it’s true we do respect each other'
6. You balance each other out.
'he is the dark, I am the light'
7. You share the same life goals.
'to get rid of toxicity'
8. You challenge each other.
'Lord Voldemort and Lady Hope' 
9. You can totally be yourself.
'yes, yes'
10. You fight for the relationship.
'w.....no comment'
why was she reading it? to feed the image that she was believing and feeling the bond, he was having a nosebleed there while pretending to read another book.
----
she was at the garden during that dreadful and 24 hours of being without  him , yes she was completely without him for the very first time in forever, he left her to attend the last bit of touches before there weeding ,she was with both Regulus and Snape acting like her bodyguards.
Regulus was called back to do a final check on a package, that left her alone with Snape, he had that aura of hate around him and dead inside more and more.
so, it was not the wind that spat and snapped.
" die, die, die "
the dagger that he was hiding in his robes rose shiny silver dry  and went down red and wet with her blood, she barley saw the light reflection and managed to judge nearly unscratched safe for a  wound in her arms  ,how does a tiny dagger cause sharp burning pain?.
"why you are alive when Lily is dead, I will make him feel what I felt when he killed her" he snapped voice echoing in the open space , he rise that wet dagger again but this time she was ready her survival instinct taken over her blocking everything ....even the stunting jinx that Regulus send to Snape.
"my lady I am so sorry let me check the wound " when both looked at it, it was healed not even a scar left.
that's the second sign of the said powers.
Regulus didn't question it , he just rose his wand and cast the lavation spell lifting up the body , when they walked back korra knew that her window of opportunity is gone , if she run now he will kill every single muggle till she return to him or find her  , burn villages down, do unspeakable things to people, but there was another chance it was named Regulus Black. 
------
she was wearing the wedding dress, she requested no help in getting ready she didn't want anyone to see her nearly breaking down, Snape died in a horrifical and what left of his body was giving to werewolves to feast on, but she didn't feel sympathy for him. he got what he deserved, Regulus Black was immediately having the title of Tom right hand, so he was using it right now, to give her personally one last present before the weeding.
"you know that I like you a lot, if we met in a different circumstance, we will be ...."
Regulus said shyly looking down toying with the package that he left to take yesterday when the assaults happened.
"we will be f... friends or even siblings like" Korra said " you know Regulus you are too soft to be death eater, too kind to be a Slytherin, too humble to be a black" he blushed at her words.
" you mean I should be in your house? both of our houses are extremely loyal and curious, my lady but have our differences that shape us "
now his tone become warry.
"I will help you escape "
---------
The door opened and korra walked in her white dress to the aisle ,she was breathtaking beautiful ,even few witches looked at her in awe , her soulmate was in more than awe , envying his own luck with her , and then she stopped next to him .
" you are taking my breath away love, black is your color "korra told her soon to be her husband. The priest began the classical vows ordering both to repeat them. 
------
She felt the silky texture of the fabric of the invisibility clock in her hand awfully reminding her of the basilisk skin but she shook that memory away as she sneaked out transporting herself to the second nearest ministry of magic beside the British one ,the Italian one, she couldn't risk to go to the British one since it was under his control, France one was too close so she choose the Italian, its ministry is as what she heard extremely kind so it’s her only chance.
when she settled in the minister office and by sheer luck, he was alone she removed the clock throwing it away in desperation to be seen. The poor mistier nearly had a heart attack but before he called say anything she spoke.
"please help me I want to be away from him"
he looked puzzled, like he couldn't understand her, so she switched to Italian her father native language.
"I want your help in shielding me from him "
"I know you .... Lady hope" hope is still alive, so naturally good deed is being rewarded,
"Yes, I am"
"you are my lord soulmate" not only it was in English, but it was a settlement that meant .... all hope is gone.
"m.....my Lord?"
"yes, my lady ....and my lord" he bowed, he was there right behind her, the smell pf blood hanged on the air.
his arms left wet mark on her shoulder as he settled them there and then that manic laugh echoed through that massive office, the sound waves come back to her ears from them it entered her body settling in her broken soul.
"you ,my soulmate ,wanted to personally see the extend of my control so much that you abounded our weeding for it making Regulus Polyjuice into you , he is dead now ,red his coffin ,I will give a hint all of the magical society in the world is mine , I am sorry ours a mate is an equal"
he spans her around facing him, facing red eyes of the devil, finger under her chin and he left her head to take a good look at his bloody suit.
"I am sorry Korra , the wedding must frightened you but you didn't want to break my heart so you send him as you "
he kissed her and she tested blood on his lips, he broke apart to laugh again that maniac psychotics laugh, it didn't have to be echo through anything as it directly invaded her soul.
"'and then when he see I view him as a soulmate, I will run away when he give me freedom, when he trust me blindly " he recited her though of that night that he escaped and got her , which meant...
"you were in my head but ...."
"how?, you see love , when I knew we were soulmate I didn't want it to be like another soulmate bond I wanted it to be more symbolic and unique so  I took part of your soul and putted it in me and part of mine and putted it in you "
he toyed with her wrist before capturing them with one hand of his now his eyes returned that dark color.
"we are each other horcruxes" at her word he jumped in joy.
"yes , one of the things your shard did to me made me lucky in achieving it in a very short time , one of mine did to you is it made you parseltongue it was quite the romantic move when you spoke it to me ordering to kill my fool father when you hissed it at me and again you spoke it again in your sleep that day   "
this is it , her mind being her enemy, so now epiphany happened what Dumbledore told her by that she couldn't use that only way to stop him, he meant to kill herself, but since their souls is forever intertwined as one, it’s impossible he won completely.
"now now, dear soulmate since you didn't do the weeding it’s time for those to pay the price of your defining me since there movies made you so blind to see that we are meant to be together, we are soulmate "
more than five muggles died that day, and he have won.
Lady hope is no more.
Trivia facts:
this actually started as a drabble discussing both OC and Tom’s relationship but it ended up as a sequel
Kindly leave comments and feedback , ask any question you would like me to answer, I am doing an ask event for gifts you can ask any character anything and I will answer as them.
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emsartwork · 5 years ago
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1. Aterix is my fan transformation based on the third gift of destiny in season 4! like it never made sense to me that the gift of wisdom gives you sophix, the gift of heart gives you lovix, but the “black gift” is used more like a magic object on someone else as opposed to increasing a persons magic in a specific way??? I’ll be designing and explaining more about those soon @mariloki4 2. The faunix designs are here, and i haven’t done their animals designs yet! 3. So in my version, guardian fairy is more of a title given to alfea enchantix graduates, they don’t really have any responsibilities to their planet or anything lol  @elf-from-the-ashes 4. hoo boy, like just from scratch visually with the plot the same??? probably not too different from what i draw now since i like to have the characters all look different, but again, if i have no starting point to jump off from i have no idea what decisions i would end up making haha 5. Thank you! and yes! I am planning on getting to world of winx and the season extras soon here. 6. lol right?? every transformation i try to do seomthign different with tecna’s hair cus she deserves it but sometimes its hard (also i am ALWAYS tempted to just cut the other girls’ hair like YOU get a pixie cut and YOU get a pixie cut EVERYBODY’S getting a pixie cut)  @theoretical-artist 7.  I drew daphne and diaspro here! i am gonna take another stab at diaspro soon tho, i don’t like what i did before 8. I don’t know that i have one? like whatever one im currently watching i get used to the voices eventually. Musa’s voice change in season 3 (idk which dub) is the only one that consistently bothers me 9. Sure! the hair color change is because i was trying to make her look less like a terrible clip art witch on crappy halloween decor lol. here are some other hcs! She likes to knit. She has sensitive skin and breaks out easily. She regrets what happened with Valtor, like she knows he needed to be stopped but wishes she could have saved him(this is primarily why she cuts the trix so much slack before expelling them) She’s a mix of a lot of different ethnicities(solarian, melodian, and zenithian are the strongest) and was born on Magix. 
10. Domino: Scotland/Ireland/tiny bit of China Solaria: Egypt/Greece/Italy Lynphea: Spain/Mexico/India/Persia Andros: Hawaii/Indonesia/Philipines/Afghanistan/ and weirdly a little bit of Canada towards the poles. Melody: Japan/China/tiny bit of Korea Zenith: Russia/Mongolia Eraklyon: England/France/Germany/Colombia Vaonaa: Australia/the USA if the pilgrims never happened Zhen: Mongolia/Korea Koyu: Turkey? this planet is a little fuzzy culture wise and the environment isn’t anything we have on earth.
11.  Domino: 2 Solaria: it varies. Lynphea: 1 Andros: 2 Melody: 3 Zenith: 4 Eraklyon: 2 Vaonaa: 2 Zhen: 1 Koyu: 3
12. these are gonna be a little sarcastic because of who i am as a person im sorry @beevolution Domino: Hi we’re not dead and we have some really great mountain resorts please help us rebuild our economy Solaria: Sunshine all the time! The latest fashions! Don’t get lost in the desert because you will never be found! Lynphea: If you want a relaxing cottage retreat in a meadow come here, if you want a DEATH DEFYING TOUR THROUGH THE MOST WILD TERRITORY OF THE MAGIX DIMENSION also come here. Andros: You like the ocean? you’ll like it here. You don’t like the ocean? fuck off. Melody: CONCERTS! LIVE SHOWS! LIVE TAPINGS! PERFORMING ARTS!!!!!!!!!  Zenith: Technological wonderland, probably have theme parks about technology. nerds.  Eraklyon: Wanna buy jewelry and not talk to people? this is the planet for you. Vaonaa: Wanna buy fabric and talk to a lot of people? this planet is for you. Zhen: *Communication and transport to ZHEN is currently unavailable. Please hang up and try again.* Koyu: bitch why tf would you come here our atmosphere is posion. I guess we have pretty lights and stones???
13. oh gosh i don’t know..... Im really bad at celebrities. I love gillian anderson’s voice, but she would probably voice one of the adults not one of the girls. I like zendaya, lana condor, aubrey plaza, and steaphanie beatriz too. but like. They’re all 22 and over. Ideally the actresses (voice or otherwise) would be 16-20 age wise.  14. @powerpuffninja934​ the wings can move a little! as long as the fairy isn’t trying to fly with the chronix wings they can move slowly. 15. Thank you! and that would be really fun! 16. I mean the short answer is yeah, they would. Fairy transformations are basically cheat codes. fairy magic is “earned” through little effort or practice on the part of the fairy its like a grenade, its powerful and wide range, but can cause unintentional damage. Anybody can throw a grenade, and there are different type of grenades for different purposed(flash, smoke, incendiary) but all of them can hurt innocent bystanders if not used correctly. Witch magic, and most of the masculine magic systems, is like a sniper rifle, it can take years and a lot of practice to gain a mastery of the tool, but has less risk of unintentional damage. if fairies had worse PR and weren’t thought of as “good” (compared to the witches PR being aligned with the ancestrals and “bad”) fairy transformations probably wouldn’t be allowed on the grounds that its unsafe and unnatural. @lowko​  17. So magic is like a type of radiation/energy. Core Magic is like the electrical impulses that run the human body, its normal, safe, and part of the body. Natural Magic is like sunshine, its normal, safe(in low doses), and necessary. Ethereal magic is like a nuclear bomb. Its insanely powerful, targeted, and created/manipulated by the ethereal fairies usually for a specific purpose. Wild magic is like a cross between a freshwater spring and a natural radiation/electricity source(lightning?) its normal and part of the environment, but its dangerous and unpredictable. it also only effects a small area around it.  Wild and natural magics work in tandem in the same areas. Natural sources are stable enough to link magic to(the resulting transformation is called danix), but wild magic is not. Natural sources can become/ be replaced by wild magic when the natural source is polluted, cursed, or threatened by a natural disaster. Its theorized that wild and natural magics have a limited level of consciousness, and when a natural source retreats, the wild magic takes over the sources mouth in an attempt to let the environment heal and ward off any threats. Wild magic sources can stabilize and be replaced by natural sources, but its less common. Bloom and Stella are linked to the dragon flame, and the second sun of solaria, which is where their titles come from, but the other girls aren’t linked to anything in specific and their titles are mostly personal preference. Hopefully this makes sense??? I’ll probably do a masterpost on how my magic system works here soon. 18. Yeah so i never really had a problem with the age gap because most of my friends growing up were 2-3 years younger/older than me. Also in my version Alfea is a legit college, so the average freshman age is like... 18/19? but you could technically attend whenever. 19. I love magix winx, harmonix, and bloomix! for least favorite.... butterflix................ and mythix........................... and sirenix.......(tho i do love the sirenix transformation sequence)
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faerytalesfromtheabyss · 6 years ago
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Faerie Books For “Folk of the Air” Withdrawals
In my opinion, Holly Black is the gold standard for faerie books. She writes faeries in a way that draws on folklore, yet makes sense in the common day. She has concrete rules that her faeries never break (eg. aversion to salt and iron, their magic can’t work against charms, they can deceive but can’t lie, etc.) Faeries seem different than humans and we are constantly reminded that they are alien creatures (Eg. Performing monstrosities, their morality, the way they speak) 
When faeries use magic it seems so natural to the universe Black has created that it doesn’t really feel like magic. The one time someone uses a spectacular display of magic that could be perceived as overpowered (at the end of The Wicked King), it’s someone coming into his powers and truly accepting his role as a king.
I’ve already written a pretty extensive post about the other books in Holly Black’s faerie universe (Modern Faerie Tale Series, Darkest Part of the Forest, Spiderwick, etc). Check that out if you’re looking for more Holly Black books and want to learn about my suggested reading order.
Under the cut, I’ll talk about other YA faerie books and some resources if you want to learn more about faerie folklore. You should also take into account that I’m super picky about books. Even though I gave a lot of them low ratings, I don’t regret reading any of them. I’m just overly critical, and there are specific trends and tropes that really bug me. Definitely look on Goodreads for a more detailed summaries and other reviews.
Let’s address some of the most popular faerie books first:
The Dark Artifices by: Cassandra Clare
If you like Holly Black, you’ll probably like (and probably already know) Cassandra Clare. They both write urban fantasy and they're both part of the same writing group. They even went on tour together.
The Mortal Instruments and Infernal Devices have faeries in them, but faeries don’t become a central point in the Shadowhunter universe until The Dark Artifices.   
I’m still slowly trekking my way through Mortal Instruments Part II so I haven’t gotten to The Dark Artifices yet. And since events that happen in Mortal Instruments directly affect the characters in Dark Artifices, you can’t really skip directly to this series.
Throne of Glass by: Sarah J. Maas
I honestly can’t address the faeries in this series because I’ve only read the first 3 books, but I assume they’re going to be pretty similar to the fae in A Court of Thorns and Roses. Luckily, I heard this series picks up in book 4, so we’ll see. I honestly haven’t been very impressed with the first three books.
Okay, so here are some books I can give actually give insight into:
A Court of Thorns and Roses by: Sarah J. Maas
A Court of Thorns and Roses (3/5 Stars)
A Court of Mist and Fury (5/5 Stars)
A Court of Mist and Fury (4/5 Stars)
A Court of Frost and Starlight 2/5 (Honestly, there was no plot in this novella)
This talking point doesn’t have to do with faeries, but it’s something I think people should be aware of before picking up this series:
There are a lot of issues with consent (or more accurately, the lack there of) in A Court of Thorns and Roses. I don’t want to go into that here so I’ll link to a Mostly YA Lit blog post that points out the issues I have with the first book. I think A Court of Mist and Fury started to broach the issues of consent in ACOTAR, but it didn’t explore this topic as thoroughly as I would have liked.
Personally, I wouldn’t call this a good faerie series. Most of the faeries act far too much like humans. So much so, that I sometimes forget that they’re fae. They just act like humans with super powers. Folk lore elements—like faeries not being able to lie and aversion to iron—are thrown right out the window. All the characters (especially in the later books) are way overpowered. For you writers out there, this book is a good example of how to not employ a soft magic system.
While I wouldn’t call this a good faerie series, I would still call this an alright series. A lot of people love this series.
SMJ’s strongest skills are writing characters and exploring characters’ emotions. Although I a ton of issues with this series, I would be lying if I didn’t say that A Court of Mist and Fury is one of the best YA fantasy books to explore PTSD, pain, and healing. 
The Scorpio Races: by Maggie Stiefvater (5/5 Stars)
Unlike the other books on this list, this book doesn’t focus on faery courts. The Scorpio Races focuses on one very specific type of faery, the eich uisce, a type of man-eating water horse from Celtic folklore. Every year on the island of Thisby, people capture and train these water horses in order to race them.
Like Holly Black’s books, Stiefvater incorporates folklore but adds her own twist. She’s very consistent with the magic rules she sets on water horses. (Eg. Bells and red ribbons can calm them, they have an aversion to iron, etc)
Now some less popular faerie books: An Enchantment of Ravens:  (3/5 Stars)
This book takes place in a fantasy world with humans and faeries.
Here’s the downside: The heroine and love interest are very typical YA characters. (It was written in 2017, but it feels like it was written in 2007). There really isn’t anything unique about the main charters, and they didn’t have much chemistry. 
Now, here’s the good stuff: The book has a very interesting interpretation of faeries. If faeries try to make anything (even cook), they will start to crumble away and die. The faeries find humans valuable because humans are able to make crafts. Humans can become fae... at a price—they have to give up their art. One of the interesting things though is that the heroine, an artist, is opposed to becoming immortal because she would have to give up her art.
The Wicked Lovely Series: Melissa Marr
Wicked Lovely 2/5 
Ink Exchange 3/5
The Wicked Lovely Series is an urban fantasy series where the fae live invisible among humans. 
The first book is very preachy at some points. And there’s a disconnect between the feminist values that the author attempts to display and what is actually in the story (how the characters behave, the plot, etc). Also, the author breaks the rules she sets up in her universe. (Eg. Faeries aren’t supposed to be able to go near iron… Oh wait, the strong ones can. Oh wait, it looks like pretty much all of them can with little affect.) Both books have issues with consent and women being controlled by fae. 
Why do I continue to read this series? I like the world Marr created. It’s dark and intriguing so many authors forget the manevolent nature of faeries. Marr also has an interesting interpretation of how fae would live in cities. It reminds me a bit of Holly Black’s Modern Faerie Tale series. Also, I like that the endings of these books are different than most YA. To avoid spoilers, I’ll say there’s some subverting of tropes.
Wintersong by: S. Jae-Jones (2/5 Stars)
Wintersong takes place somewhere in Austria or Germany during the late 1700s. It’s like a combination of Pan’s Labyrinth, the poem Goblin Market, alderking folklore, and some Beauty and the Beast/Hades and Persephone thrown in. 
One of the things I like about this book is that the main character is ugly and that never changes. Seriously, YA has too many jaw-droopingly-beautiful heroines. Being pretty has nothing to do with your value as a person. Can I please have some average or ugly heroines with good self esteem or that achieve good self esteem? 
The goblins and their home are dark and twisted ( think Under the Mountain if you like SJM or unseelie court or )
While the writing is beautiful, this book is riddled with plot holes and things that don’t add up. The first half of the book is great and has to do with the main character saving her sister from the Goblin King/Alderking. Then it drifts off into never-never land. The plot diminishes. You can also tell that this book was originally going to be written for adults and was changed (seemingly at the last minute) to YA.
Also, there’s a lot of weird issues about sex. The main character is fixated on the idea that having sex will make her a woman. Also, it has that shitty misconception about women bleeding when they have sex for the first time. No, that shouldn’t happen. Fantasy books (especially YA which is aimed at young women) need to get rid of that trope. There’s also some shit that the heroine will die if she has sex with the Goblin King too often because it draws on her life-force or some shit.
Seriously, why is sex handled so poorly in so many of these books? How hard is it to have consensual sex that is handled normally. Hint: It’s not! 
I would like to take a moment to thank Holly Black for writing Jude as a character (and even Taryn) with agency in her sex life. 
The Iron Fey Series by: Julie Kagawa
I’m currently reading the first book in this series. Let me tell you, it feels very circa 2010 YA. A half-human-half-faerie girl goes to a magical land to save her brother from faeries. It leans a lot on characters from A Midsummer Night’s Dream.
Resources for Learning More About Faery Folklore 
Faeries by Brian Froud and Alan Lee
This is a really good, quick resource if you want to take a crash course in faerie lore. (Eg. Common types of fae, charms and protections against fae, the courts, faerie hills, etc)
An Encyclopedia of Fairies by: Katharine Briggs
If you want to know anything about the faeries of Ireland and the British isles, you can find it in this book. There’s a lot of fun stories about different fae, too. 
Abbey Lubbers, Banshees, & Boggarts by: Katharine Briggs
If you find Briggs’s other book overwhelming, try this one. It’s a lot of the same information but more condensed. 
The Lore Podcast by: Aaron Mahnke
This podcast talks about folklore and everything paranormal (from ghosts and clairvoyants to vampires and werewolves). I recommend the entire podcast but here are a few episodes with information about faeries:
Episode 5: "Under Construction”— Folklore about the huldufolk (elves) of Iceland
Episode 11: ”Black Stockings”— Folklore about changelings. I’m going to warn you, this episode is very done but very, very sad
Episode 14: "The Others” — Folklore about “little people” in various cultures, including púcas (one of my favorite fae)
Some YA Faerie Books I have on my TBR:
White Stag by: Kara Barbieri
The Perilous Gard by: Elizabeth Marie Pope
The Folk Keeper by: Franny Billingsley
The Goblin Emperor: Katherine Addison
Glimmerglass by: Jenna Black 
Wings by: Aprilynne Pike 
Bitter Frost by: Kailin Gow 
Tam Lin by: Pamela Dean
Fablehaven by: Brandon Mull
That was a long post, so I thank you for taking the time to read it! Please reblog and add your favorite faerie books (especially if they’re similar to Holly Black’s books)! And feel free to DM me or slip a message in my ask box if you have any questions or want book recs.
Hopefully something on this list will hold us over until Queen of Nothing comes out!
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chaldealast · 5 years ago
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PSEUDO-SINGULARITY: THE UNDERGROUND WORLD OF AGARTHA.
or, charri’s attempt to rewrite the singularity! / @savepnt​ requested to be @’ed 
Something I liked about this Singularity is the interplay between order and chaos, a perfect example of what happens when the good intentions of humans-- to protect their own, to live a happy life, to eradicate injustice-- are taken to their extremes, and become fetters which imprison humans in their own ideals. In contrast to the “Human Evils” of Shinjuku, Agartha displays the “Good Intentions” of humanity, and challenges the protagonist to consider their own ideals at the same time. The “Utopia” is an extremely important aspect, given the wish fulfilled by the Demon Pillar in this Singularity is “safety”. 
Where good, evil, and neutrality all lead to destruction and stagnation, what is the correct choice?
So, with that all in mind, I thought I’d outline what my own Ritsuka was experiencing this Singularity, as far as canon goes. Though I’m mainly just taking the parts I like, and deleting the rest. A lot of it, I’m writing down my own perspective for. (...So I thought, and then I got to chapter 10...) 
Other Master muses are free to take what they want from this, or even adopt it as their version of Agartha. I just had fun doing it ‘w’
AGARTHA: CONTINENT UNDER THE EARTH. 
Mission: Find the missing Servants, destroy the Demon God Pillar, and retrieve the Holy Grail. 
Factions:    Ys, City of Hedonism: A watertop city of pirates who plunder, drink, and kill as they like without thought to anyone else, under the leadership of the Pirate Princess who uses and casts out, taking joy only in the pursuit.    El Dorado, the Golden City: A territory along a riverbed, housing Amazons who perfect their bodies in combat, and reject the presence of men, led by a merciless General who will chase out threats with the vigor of a wild beast.     Bu Ye Cheng, the Nightless City: A golden city in the underground, gleaming with bright lights even at night; though perfectly orderly at first glance, corruption runs deeply through its roots. Its leader stays out of its people’s view, but their lackeys patrol the streets, crushing any sign of resistance.    Shangri-La, the Utopian Valley: A land of eternal springtime, serving as the headquarters of the Resistance. Led by a Servant who’s lost his memory, Rider, they slowly build their forces and take in fallen refugees, biding their time before the ultimate battle... 
What I’d do here is, of course, take out the gendered violence and have each city focused less on “abuse men because that’s our author’s kink >:(” and more on pressuring surrounding territories to accept their ideals / raiding them for treasure and profit / protecting their own people from harm. They each believe that their way of life will make their people happy. That is the ultimate goal of a leader, and thus the ultimate ideal behind each faction, even the Resistance (who bear a similarity to El Dorado). 
Columbus gets turned into mana prisms and a different sailing Servant takes his place; I personally nominate Topa Inca Yupanqui, legendary Incan ruler who scouted the Pacific on a ten-month voyage. It’s important that the Servant be a sailor, but I personally don’t care for Chris Combustion to be a Servant at all. Sure, it should be someone vaguely connected to the concepts of Agartha, but I think "emperor of a disappeared (read: obliterated and colonized) empire” fits the general setting, especially given the inclusion of El Dorado. 
Support: Astolfo (Caster, wielding the Book of Logistilla), Arturia Pendragon (Assassin, wielding Carnwennan)
I chose Support Servants out of their usual class, because this story is supposed to be fantastical and unusual, so even Servants summoned from Chaldea have a strange role to play. I also chose Servants with “Lawful Good” and “Chaotic Good” alignments to go with the theme of this Singularity.
I’d also change the Servant bonus to be those with “Lawful” or “Chaotic” attributes. 
Opposing Servants:     Assassin of the Nightless City, Wu Zetian; Caster of the Nightless City, Scheherazade; Berserker of El Dorado, Penthesilea; Pirate Princess, Dahut; Giant Berserker Herakles Megalos; and Chosen of the Mahatmas, Ascendant Blavatsky.     “There were those who only loved to plunder, those who sought safety in law, and those who sought safety in isolation and eradication. Then, of course, there was the woman who thought she was the next Messiah...”
...
Agartha, a Pseudo-Singularity existing under the earth, where nothing should live, yet magical energy disrupts the normal flow of time and space, as usual. 
“Also, it appears some Servants have disappeared from Chaldea, and the Singularity is likely to blame, so keep an eye out for them, would you? ☆”
As if they had a choice! 
Thrust suddenly into this mysterious, alien world, under attack by three factions, the Chaldea party escapes south to an idyllic garden, and meet the Rider in charge of those holding their ground in this dangerous place. 
...
All that said, the twist would have to be completely rewritten, huh... 
This much is obvious already, but spoilers ahoy!
Where in this Singularity, Columbus seeks to create a nation of women to serve his every need, I think it’s much more interesting for the ultimate goal to be the creation of a “civilization of eternal happiness”. That is, a place where all people are gathered, and sacrificed to the Root for the sake of the ideal utopia. 
That said, a person whose ideals don’t reflect either modern civilization or ancient cultures, but instead a person who, from the start, believes in a careful balance of both; and yet who has a strong, stirring belief in a utopic vision. The Servant who disappeared from Chaldea-- Madame Blavatsky, who hears and obeys the voices of Mahatma, clearer than ever with her closeness to the core of this world (the “untruth” bestowed by Scheherazade). She manipulates Rider using the “grail-like boxes” discovered in the Dragon Temple, while biding her time, waiting for the perfect opportunity to reveal herself. Meanwhile, the party recovers a weapon from Shangri-La, said to have been owned by King Solomon: the Singing Sword, a sword which would always grant victory if wielded for a good cause.
As expected, the battle against Helena, Rider, and Heracles is almost impossible, but somehow the Chaldea party manages to not only survive, but defeat the trio. Then there’s only Caster, Scheherazade, and her City in the Sky; I think this part is rather realistic, given the twisting of her personality with the “teaching” of the Demon Pillar, Phenex-- the one said to converse in rhymes, and who hopes to return to Heaven, but is deceived in this wish. 
One who cannot die, and one who wishes not to die. Those who reject order and chaos, searching for perfect equilibrium-- stasis-- unchanging. 
Scheherazade’s fear isn’t towards men, specifically, in this rewrite. It’s more towards brutality-- so she materializes those she sees as brutal: the torturers, the warriors, the scholar-kings, and the plunderers. Phenex, likewise, seeks to eliminate “ignorance” and “knowledge” to achieve equilibrium and stagnation, ultimately creating an unchanging utopia.
(”Ignorance”, the unknown and unthought (chaos); and “Knowledge”, the root of progress (order). Mystery is a ‘thought, but not confirmed’ spectrum between the two, and the realm of magic and magecraft.)
Bearing the Singing Sword, the party is able to counteract Phenex’s ability, and destroy him for good. Scheherazade, after talking with Ritsuka, makes the decision to choose her own ending: one where she, neither king nor servant, neither dead nor alive, can finally smile and laugh. 
As Laputa disappears-- it’s time for this “story” to end. 
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qunot · 5 years ago
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Lolicon’s Impact on Me
Oh, how I loathe to write this post, but write I must, I don't know if this will sink to the depths of darkness, but I'd like to think that at-least one soul might benefit from it.
I am what society would call a monster or aberration. A being who has no attraction to adults but does have it to kids. Some as young as 9.
Contrary to popular belief, I did not get bored some day and decide, "I am feeling really masochistic today, why don't I do something that is bound to really backfire on me and completely destroy my life, just to spice things up."
No one thinks like that, it is innate. From the very moment you're born to the very moment you die, it is a part of you forever and ever and it sucks. A lot. Having sex? Never. Having a relationship with someone? Never. Looking at porn? Only if you want to go to prison for forty years.
Also contrary to popular belief, I don't have the desire to jump on random people in fits of lust or to seek out sexual encounters just to relieve the pressure. This is similar to how you don't really see hordes of virgin men scouring the streets for every random woman they can forcefully abduct into their homes.
This is not to say that we are completely stable. Societal pressures involved (being called a monster constantly), having nowhere to turn to, etc. conspire to make us a fair bit more unstable than the national average.
I myself am actually fairly well-adjusted compared to many more unfortunate people like me.
Some go insane.
Some just give into temptation and eventually end up in a dark part of the web filled with things which shouldn't be allowed to exist.
Some get all self-loathing and punish themselves every-day to make themselves feel how much of a monster they are.
I on the other-hand manage to stay relatively stable, albeit having to deal with bouts of depression and mood instability. This wasn't always the case, and I attribute much of it to lolicon hentai, which is a sort of cartoon porn.
Unlike real pornography, every character is entirely fictitious and there is no person to horribly traumatize or to soil the reputation of by being associated with naked pictures of kids. Everyone wins. Society gets well-adjusted productive members of society and I get to be sane.
Except, is this really case? You would think that society would rally behind something with such great benefits, right? Sadly, politics is a huge part of anything to do with this, and more often than not, facts are optional.
At this point in the game, not only are the facilities to help support people woefully lacking, but governments have been carrying the flawed mindset that "this is a slippery slope which leads to children getting abused" when every law they pass actually achieves the opposite.
To really understand how this is so however, I am going to have to take you through a little story about myself and how I came to get to the point I'm at now.
Throughout my childhood and teenage years, I never really thought about sex, it was just something which never really crossed my mind. Other kids would mention a thing or two from time to time, but I would be content to leave that be.
That did end up changing, but not in the ways one might expect, I grew more and more curious towards kids who were far under my age, but were all but present. I would sometimes look at fully clothed images on the internet with a weird feeling.
And one day, I saw perhaps one of the youngest people there who looked a fair bit younger than they actually were, although still a fair bit younger than me who I found extremely cute unlike all of the so called "attractive girls" who the other teenagers would always talk about.
She was far, far less developed than them and that was very enticing.
I very awkwardly tried to make friends with her, and while it very slightly worked, my social awkwardness was off the charts and making it difficult to get much further and eventually it crashed and burned like many unrequited loves too.
During this process, I had a slight feeling that something was wrong, especially with the low age involved, but no one seemed to notice a thing as we were all well within the legal boundaries.
Those were the first encounters with this unique sexuality, although certainly not the last.
At some point, I'm not even sure exactly, , but I drifted away from looking at clothed images of real girls and started looking at random anime (cartoons of sorts which are produced in Japan) ones as I found them particularly cute.
I flicked through lots of them, being pulled more and more towards the young ones who I adored and contained the qualities I loved. I even childishly wanted to leave this world behind entirely.
This continued for a number of years, even past school, although I became more and more conscious of cute school kids roaming by. I didn't have any particularly bad intentions for them, but I did find myself looking whenever they happened to be nearby.
I gradually became more and more disillusioned with reality, especially with this taboo attraction which society all but called the devil and eventually all alone in the depths of depression and repressed self-loathing and after the deaths of several loved ones, I decided to deal with it once and for all.
Through a great deal of research, I discovered that sexual desire had a connection to several hormones within the body, so I thought that if I get rid of those, then I can become normal, right? It's not like these desires are good for anything, right?
Unfortunately, the methods to deal with this involved prescription drugs and getting a hold of them would require going through the right medical channels, but I didn't let this stop me.
I knew that if I let the information about me loose to those professional, then I might well be locked up for the rest of my days in some sort of mental hospital, unable to die. This is how deep the stigma regarding this condition runs, even what may be perfectly reasonable professionals in other times will go crazy at the thought, and I could not take this risk.
I managed to get the pills through sketchy yet perfectly legal channels and began to rid myself of this condition, discarding my former self and being reborn as a normal productive member of society... Except, this did not work, even slightly.
It is true that it somewhat reduced my sex drive, but the romantic attractions, protective instincts for them, etc. simply refused to disappear, so I channeled all my willpower to suppress those and tried to seek relationships with normal adults like any other human being.
As the chief symbol of my depravity, I also cut myself off from all cartoon porn and strived to maintain a porn free life as regular porn could do nothing but conjure up feelings of revulsion in me, as part of this, I slowly brainwashed myself into thinking that all sexual thoughts are evil and clamped down on them viciously.
This too failed as my distorted mental state and already irregular sexuality made it impossible to really get anywhere further than permanent friend zone. They eventually left and looked at me with disgust, or so the distorted feelings said.
As the hormones vanished, my body grew weaker and weaker to the point I would easily run out of breath even for short walks, my bones grew rickety, and I found myself staring listlessly at the wall for many hours at a time, my mind an empty void and occasionally thinking about throwing myself off the tallest building and researching the best way of committing suicide.
I also began to hear faint voices which weren't really there whispering and sometimes saying my name, calling for me and I grew steadily more paranoid about people watching me from outside the window or from behind me, even though there was no one there.
I drifted further and further from the world, continuing the courses of pills like a mindless zombie, and when I was out and about, I felt as if everyone around me was looking at me with the utmost disgust. I even ate a bit of bleach, while thinking about just ending it.
At some point, the pills ran out and I couldn't muster up the will to get more of them at that point, so I continued my suppression exercises and my mindset bit by bit still remained in a weird way, almost like that of an alien and yet I pressed forward convinced by that letting my repressed self out would be a terrible idea.
Eventually, a few more friends abandoned me due to my distorted mind, I pleaded with them to stay, but they took the rational choice. I can hardly fault them for that.
Completely distraught and unable to muster up the energy to continue, I ended up looking at the cartoon porn again and bit by bit reconnected with various people and continued trotting along until I learned that several people near me were arrested for doing the same thing and had their lives destroyed for it.
I freaked out and started looking into various laws and regulations and drifted towards the forums of the various sites which produced my favorite content. I pored over each page and even noticed a few people who were somewhat like me there, and even more surprisingly, they didn't seem to be the evil sadistic monsters which society taught me they were.
I ended up talking to them in a slightly liberating experience and learned a number of things. I also branched out into various other communities.
One of the things I learned is that looking at child abuse images is more of an addiction than being a complete sadistic monster, and that safer content is extremely scarce with people having to dig deeper and deeper into the darkness to find more of what they need.
According to them, it can allow one to vent more effectively than anything else, in practice, a lot of the content is so horrible that it ends up driving you to near suicide.
They also commented that it would have been impossible to escape from that content, if not for the fact that they had an alternate outlet to switch to. This reaffirmed my beliefs that an outlet is vital for dealing with your natural urges and to stay away from that horrible yet addictive content.
Fate tends to make fools of us all, however as while browsing, I stumbled upon a couple of blurry images. I looked in closer and each one was a naked child standing on her own completely naked, I was really surprised that something like this could actually exist on the surface web.
It had a stronger sexual attraction than usual and as I had never seen a naked child (of the right sex) before, I looked curiously at their body structure. Shortly after, I dragged myself away from those images, deciding to stay away from them and just focus on cartoon porn instead.
Several weeks later, I stumbled upon an article about the ban in Japan and discovered that those images in particular were commercially produced thirty years ago back when when it was legal, which made sense considering that the quality of the images was fairly poor by today's standards.
After all these events, I sat down and thought about the poor state of information regarding us.
For instance, there is a misconception that mere thoughts lead to cartoon porn which lead to real porn which lead to rape. Or the very common assumption that we are all crazy rapists by default,  I used to think that too after hearing it so many times.
In truth, I have yet to see anyone who has actually abused someone, they seem vanishingly rare and I'm happy for it as-well as I would be very uncomfortable to be in the same space as someone who abused someone against their will.
This led me to think of ways to try to get information out to people that a lot of things have been massively misunderstood and I decided to write a short post. It won't quite be the most effective thing in the world, but every little bit helps in the grand scheme of things.
In the end, even though I am attracted to them and can fantasize about doing all manner of erotic things with them, I wouldn't actually be able to force them to do things against their will, even thinking of it would weigh too heavily on my conscience.
I don't know what you will make of this post, but I hope it's of use to at-least someone.
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