#binswrites

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Genuinely though I want to see Reiju be able to leave Germa and just be like, so fucking dysfunctional as an individual for a while. I want her to be able to shed her piles and piles of masking she did all the time while with her family because it's so useless when not with them and realize there's kind of nothing underneath all that. She's lived so long assuming she would live and die a weapon of war for her father that when she's free of it there's no real underlying desires or things she remembers enjoying or anything.

She has Sanji, who she cares for unconditionally, but that doesn't do much for her. Sanji is fine and happy, and he is elsewhere while she is here, wherever here is. She can't cling to him.

I want her to come to terms with her reduced emotional capacity. Settle on looking "grumpy" to strangers and getting questions about that instead of putting on a smile, because she quickly learns the one she usually uses looks aggressively fake and is even more offputting . I want her to realize there's no magical line in the sand that makes her automatically more monstrous because she has a bit of a harder time empathizing with people and feeling things as strongly all the time. That folks are still kind to her here and there and she can choose to be kind back, because kindness is a set of actions and decisions and she can do them even if there's little feeling or conviction behind it. And I want guilt to crush her all the while, because that's never not going to happen. She is always going to feel so guilty.

I want her to find people that care about her. That she can just be with. People who try to help her fill all of that emptiness that is the space where her passions and earnest personality should be. People that don't really succeed in doing that but try anyway. Suggest hobbies that she takes up and doesn't feel a lot about but she does them anyway. People who are there when she finds something for herself and celebrate that she truly does enjoy it.

I want there to be a moment in the middle of the night where she realizes those words she cried to her little brother back when they were children apply to her too. That he would be so happy she found her own kind people. That this is what their mother wanted for her too. And I want her to realize she's allowed to be just as happy about that as well. That she doesn't deserve to die. That she's free.

I dunno I kinda think she deserves a nice and happy ending.

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Published my first wanpi fanfic 🎉 would be happy if people checked it out thank you

Summary from the ao3 blurb:

“Down in the heart of Germa, kept in the dungeons and away from prying eyes, is their greatest weapon— a tool that enables them to win any battle, to go at a conflict over and over until they come out victorious, no matter what. A weapon that, coincidentally, happens to be held by the failed third prince.

or

How Sanji gets locked in the basement for "becoming useful", gets told nothing, and gains a half-decent relationship with one of his brothers as a result.”

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Vinspooky event day 5 - Free Day

Magnus Archives AU. Cosette's statement on her encounter with one Niji Vinsmoke.

@germasholidaycalendar

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Okay hashihime au nonsense because I have a lot of spare ideas. Love writing spinoffs for my own fanfiction

Something I realize I completely forgot to address even in the authors notes was that. Like, by the end there Niji totally also has a hashihime. Those transfer when you kill someone with one, not that any characters involved have any way of knowing that. He totally got the hashihime of the man that he killed, and to me sincerely he probably didn't realize for like, a hell of a while. He just doesn't have a reason to see his eyes under his goggles very often.

In any case I definitely think this Niji skipped town pretty much immediately after his Sanji disappears back in time. Sanji was one of the few things tethering him to Germa to begin with and one of the things making it bearable, and with him gone, he may as well try to abide by his wishes, "do something less upsetting", and he can't do that while living there and being a military commander and prince.

He takes Michael with him, not because he cares about her or anything, he's never really spoken to her, but because she's the only other person who knew Sanji at all and cared about him as well. It's not like she has a job anymore, she got put down in the dungeon as glorified babysitter for a reason— and it's not that she really wants to risk herself and leave either, but with enough strongarming everything is possible, and it spares her a crueler fate.

Niji's still not the sort of person who has his emotional capacities actually sorted out. He cared about Sanji, but Sanji isn't there anymore. Trying to sort out having emotions without the person that made you have them in the first place is a doozie, especially since they haven't fully developed but still do keep developing without him there. Whatever relationship he forms with Michael through their travels ends up being kind of weird and unhealthy on his end because he kinda sees similarities between her and his brother and keeps lowkey projecting Sanji onto her. She has to keep snapping him out of it, and the more she does the more she grows a backbone and stops being so scared of him, though she keeps the overly polite streak.

It's not all terrible, though. I know for a fact Michael christens him some silly name from one of her favorite books so they're less easy to track, and Niji takes to it as if he'd never been named no. 2 at all, much to her delight. And Niji on the other hand helps her feel more confident— his praise for her skills as a fighter and soldier are quite candid and slowly disabuse her of the notion that she was strictly bad at her job and thus useless as an individual. Really, her issues were mostly being soft, and if she is a failure for that, Niji tells her he's becoming one too just the same. His apparent selfishness lets him do whatever the hell he wants, too, even when it rains, so there's at least a little upside to his emotions still not being completely normal the way an average person's would be.

Eventually they'd end up traveling with the strawhats for a while, and they slowly help untangle Niji's too-tight grip on Michael and learn to let her go and do her own thing. They were good as traveling companions for a while but it wasn't really meant to be forever, and Michael deserves to live in peace and away from the threat of Germa hunting her down due to association with him. Niji stays with them even when they drop her off though.

When they ask him if he has a dream or not, he tells them he still doesn't think he's enough of a human being to really have one for himself yet, but that he really wants to build an honest-to-god time machine. He wants to be able to figure out how these things work, and honestly he just wants his little brother back so he can show him the outside world. The strawhats keep him while he figures out whether or not that ends up being his actual dream or if he has a more selfish one for self-fulfillment down the road, and if they keep him indefinitely even after he figures that out, well, that's just the way things go.

Also honestly I didn't know where else to put it here but I don't think he ever regains use of his arm. He just didn't care for it properly in the process of running away and at that point it wasn't fully healed, so the sling becomes a bit of a permanent fixture with him. He doesn't mind and doesn't want to particularly have it fixed in any capacity if it even can be, he regards it as a parting gift from Sanji.

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Reiju/Tashigi The Summer Hikaru Died AU . I am once again asking everyone to pick up what I'm putting down.

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Vinspooky event day 3 - Ghost/Stalker

In which Tashigi and Reiju spend a perfectly normal week together looking for a staircase in the sky, and nothing is wrong.

@germasholidaycalendar

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In which Ango quits his job, gets split in half metaphorically (and physically, kinda? it's complicated), grieves poorly, and has a couple of mental breakdowns about it. Not necessarily in that order.

Promoting this again but this time it's because this fic is officially FINISHED!! Chapters 1-7 are done. Please do read it 🙇‍♂️

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Wrote something for Odango week on Twitter!

Day 6 - Odango in any AU

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Oh yeah boo I remembered my tumblr existed to briefly plug my fic. AU Ango + Taneda interactions go brrrr