#I tried my best to write less but pent up feelings came and became this mess

[australian-desi]

Rest In Peace ~ Sushant Singh Rajput

Hey guys, I was going into a spiral thinking about SSR and everything he went through and I needed somewhere to write my feelings down. There’s so much noise about this on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, I didn’t want to add to the noise, bashing and overall negativity, so found this to be the best place. I’m sorry in advance if I offend anyone. This is going to be very long. 

Sushant Singh Rajput the Actor and Human:

I’m not going to lie, I wasn’t his biggest fan, not by a long shot. I watched him in Pavitra Rishta every now and then because my mum was obsessed with that show and I used to be confused as to why everyone was obsessed with Manav and Archana - I was 12 years old when the show started and just felt it was another saas-bahu serial. However, to this day it amazes me how Manav and Archana were able to capture their audience for three consecutive years when their story was another saas-bahu serial. It was obviously the actors portraying them, and it takes a lot to grab someone’s attention and keep it on yourself. SSR had that energy. I remember then he came onto Jhalak Dikhlaa Jaa, I watched that show quite religiously because of my love for dance, and was bowled over by how good of a dancer he was. He had perfect lines, and his posture was amazing, I was in awe every time he danced. I remember that in that show he proposed to his then-gf in the cutest way possible, a proposal that is etched into my mind till this day. 

He then left his daily soap, for a career in Bollywood, it was a very risky, bold move because it is a well known fact - Tellywood actors, are rarely able to make good careers in Bollywood. Most of them become irrelevant after their first or second movie. But man was everyone wrong about Sushant. I didn’t watch Kai Po Che, but I remember the buzz around it at the time, everyone was talking about it, and it was one of the biggest movies of that year. He then did Shuddh Desi Romance - a movie I was inclined to watch because he was in it, I was slowly turning into a fan, but I didn’t get the chance to watch it. Then came PK. When PK’s trailer was launched, SSR’s cameo was kept a secret, I remember I was in the theatre and he came onto the screen and absolutely owned it. His performance as Sarfaraz won me over, and a smile still comes to my face when I remember him in the song “chaar kadam”. SSR had an amazing screen presence, he knew how to keep the audience’s attention on himself and a lot of the time you would forget this Sushant Singh Rajput, in fact you would only think of him as his character. The brilliance in his craft was the ability to become his characters completely, to the point you think of them as a real person. The next movie I watched of his was MS Dhoni - a movie that became a sensation. Everyone who went to the movie as Dhoni fans, came back as Sushant’s fan. He deserved that and more. You could see his hardwork, his passion and his dedication in everything he did. I remember when the trailer for Raabta dropped, I was super excited two of my favourite actors - Sushant and Kriti had come together. At that point I started watching more interviews of him and got to know him a little from what he portrayed as a person. Raabta flopped at the box office, however, personally I enjoyed it and I was amazed at the chemistry he had with Kriti Sanon. In Kedarnath, I was so excited that Sara Ali Khan was doing her debut with him, and man both did not disappoint. Kedarnath was an amazing movie and Sushant portrayed his character with utmost conviction. Chichore was the last movie I watched of his and I absolutely loved the movie and him in it. The themes and overall message of that movie hit deep, and it was intelligently made, with comedy mixed with the darker themes, but not taking away from the main message they were trying to convey. Overall, even though I wasn’t a fan of him at the start of his career, he had won me over. 

I also started adoring him as a person. His love for physics and astronomy; his eyes full of curiosity and enthusiasm towards the great unknowns. He didn’t finish his engineering degree, but the childlike wonder he had towards science made me excited as a scientist myself. He showed everyone that he had a brilliant mind and I’ve said this before and I’ll said it again, actors who are educated and well-spoken make me respect them more, they have a different way of thinking, they are eloquent and they show how much education can do for a person. SSR had all of these qualities. I could hear him speak for hours at a time. His instagram posts were always so deep and meaningful, it would make me thing differently, and his 50 things bucket list inspired me to no end. Especially how much he wanted to do for other people and how much he wanted to grow as a person. He also had an infectious smile, his smile used to make his fans smile and it takes a big person to do that. 

SSR’s Death: 

I was doing an assignment when one of my friend’s had sent me the news. I thought it was a hoax at first, but then I googled him, and it was true - Sushant Singh Rajput had committed suicide. Honestly, I’ve been distraught since then, I cried multiple times, and I can’t stop thinking about him, the pain he must’ve felt in order to take this decision, and whenever I saw his sisters or dad I cried even more, the sadness and despair I felt would be nothing compared to theirs, especially because his death was preventable. I’ve never been depressed, I’ve had my fair share of panic attacks and anxiety but I don’t know what depression is. I only know what I’ve studied, that people who are depressed have physiologically different brains to people who are not, they have decreased levels of oxytocin and serotonin, and that they have less grey matter. I’ve also been told that this causes them to not be able to function, they sleep too much, become unable to socialise, and their brain starts to turn them against themselves. However, I believe that there is always an underlying cause of depression. There are triggers for depression, a person doesn’t become depressed over nothing. I know everyone wants to know the trigger; why did he take such a drastic step, but he didn’t leave a note. He left with silence. I know it is difficult, but I feel that we should respect that, however, we should not let him die in vain. 

But I’m going to be real here IT IS NOT OUR PLACE AS THE GENERAL PUBLIC/AUDIENCE OR FANS TO GO ONTO OTHER CELEBRITIES TWITTERS/FB/IG AND CALL THEM MURDERERS. How dare we think that we can blame other people for someone’s death. I don’t care how these people treated him while he was alive, let them mourn him in peace. His death has taught me one thing, not one person is toxic, not one industry is toxic, all of us are. The person who is now checking up on every single person that they usually would not care for because of guilt, the girl shouting all over my timeline that Karan Johar, Deepika Padukone and Alia Bhatt murdered SSR, the boy screaming that x person didn’t post about his death they wouldn’t be affected by this or they don’t care. Every single person. Everyone needs to stop with raging on social media. They need to take a step back and breathe, and mourn and let others mourn. 

My take on Nepotism and Bollywood: 

Here’s the crux of the issue. Bollywood. I’m your average desi girl, I’ve grown up watching bollywood, being obsessed with it. To the point that at a certain time I only watched Bollywood. Then the whole nepotism scandal hit. I remember thinking to myself then, what’s the big deal? Also did people really not think about this until an actress had to come speak about it on national television? Did no one realise that Bollywood has been preferring starkids over other talents for decades? I used to think that yeah, Bollywood has nepotism, but where does nepotism not exist. The truth is nepotism exists everywhere. A doctor’s child becomes a doctor. A business man’s child becomes a businessman etc. But here’s the thing, the doctor’s child has to work towards becoming a doctor, he/she has to go through the same steps that other non-doctor children have to do. The only advantage they get is, that their parents might be able to help prepare them for what’s coming, and it’s not like every doctor has doctor parents, both people get equal opportunity. The child of a doctor just has more insight. However, in Bollywood, there is no equal ground, it isn’t as if a starkid only has it easy to get their first movie. Nope, they sign their second or third movie before their first one releases. Take Sara Ali Khan for example, she had already signed Simmba, before Kedarnath had released. Now take Anushka Sharma, she didn’t get her second movie two years after the release of her first one. Nepotism does exist, it will exist, but in other industries, the people who aren’t a product of it are still able to get promoted, to do good work and receive equal opportunity. However, in Bollywood this is not the case. It has never been the case. This needs to change. This needs to desperately change. Especially because nepotism didn’t use to be as bad, as the products of nepotism were still talented, but now, they are not, and SSR’s death can bring this change, because Bollywood is losing it’s credibility, and as I consider Bollywood my own, my home, I want it to do better. Actors who come from non-film backgrounds and television deserve to share space in mainstream cinema with those who do come from film backgrounds. 

Where From Here

In the past couple of years, we’ve become a horrible society. We pretend to like people when we meet them, and then bitch about them behind their back. We also think that whatever comes to our heads we can say to whatever celebrity the way we want because them being public figures is an open invitation for us to say hurtful things to them which normally we would not say if we meet them in person. We are the people who cry about nepotism, and then when a movie doesn’t have a big star in it we go “we’ll watch it at home, if we have time, why waste money going to the cinema”. We are the same people who cry about mental health issues and to raise awareness, when we think its absolutely fine to give a celebrity death threats because of a comment they made. We are also those people who cry about how SSR was treated unfairly, when we had a chance to go see his movies but didn’t. Who gave us this authority to be able to judge? Who gave us the right? If we won’t talk to other people with such disrespect in real life, why can we over the internet? WE. NEED. TO. DO. BETTER. AS. A. SOCIETY. 

We need to stop shaming people, we need to support artists that aren’t star kids, but also support star kids. They don’t deserve the hate they get either. It isn’t completely their fault that they are given more opportunity. It’s our fault too. We are the ones who make them successful. Directors know that they could sell more tickets with Ranbir Kapoor on the poster than Sushant Singh Rajput, even if Sushant Singh Rajput is a better artist. We need to support both talents. We need to show filmmakers as an audience, that both artists should be given equal opportunity. That the only thing nepotism should do for a starkid is just give them insight on what a life of an actor is like. That is all. They should also go to auditions, they should also be accepted or rejected based on talent. And for the love of god, we need to stop getting celebrities to judge other celebrities based on acting skills and sex appeal. it’s 2020, we can do better. 

Also to anyone who’s having any sort of dark thoughts. Please, I beg of you talk to someone. There is someone who loves you; your parents, siblings, teachers, friends, family, that brown guy in your dms. And if you truly don’t know anyone that you can talk to, talk to a therapist on a free hotline. My inbox is also always open if you want to chat. 

To Sushant Singh Rajput - I will miss seeing you at the movies, your smile and your interviews, and how much of an inspiration you were to me. I hope you are at peace now, and finally found happiness. 

For anyone who read this - thank you for reading my absolute ramble and I hope I made sense 

Here’s a dumb joke to make you hopefully smile a little, or at least roll your eyes: What do you call bacteria found in Agra? Agraculture - does this even make sense. IDK. All I want to say is, that I’ve been an absolute dukhi aatma for the past couple of days, and now its time to smile, and look at some positives. 

[folkloreguk]

Mirror, Mirror (m)

A/N: I will never ever determine which body type the reader has, but I want every single one of you to know that it’s okay to feel empowered by the way your nude body looks, you’re absolutely beautiful and no size is a limit to how sexy you can be!!! You go queens!

words: ~5.4 (I’m sorry idk how to write short things anymore asdfgh)

genre: smut, optional bias (male) x reader (female), kinda fwb??, sexting

[H/N means “his name”]

There’s no feeling quite like the one of trying on your new clothes that just arrived in the mail and loving how they looked. Especially when said clothes were lingerie and you felt like you could conquer the world, even when you were just standing in front of your mirror at 7 pm after you had just stuffed your stomach with lasagna. And what better way to enjoy your happiness than to share it with your best friend?

In fact, you had two best friends. One, a girl who you could trust with your life, and two, a boy who knew all your deepest secrets. One of the central differences between the two was that you would never think about asking the former about his opinion on your new lingerie. You almost laughed at the mere thought while you went through your contacts list and selected your friend’s name and clicked ‘send’. “It’s new. How do I look?” you typed and sent quickly, before throwing your phone onto you bed. You were feeling sexy, but for the rest of the evening there was only one way you wanted to feel: Comfortable. So, you changed into your pajamas instead.

You wondered what she would say about your photo. Sending almost-nudes to your friend might have seemed odd, but for the two of you, it was a completely normal occurrence. You loved making sure you both felt beautiful and confident by complimenting each other. Happily, you walked back to your room after you had picked up some snacks in the kitchen. You grabbed your phone as you plopped down on your bed. While you stuffed a handful of crisps into your mouth, you unlocked your phone to check your messages. You had expected a text from your best girl friend, but instead you had received one from H/N, your best boy friend. Pure horror consumed you when you clicked on the chat and saw your almost-nude there. Sent at 7:01 pm. Seen at 7:05 pm. And worst of all, he had replied before you could have clarified the mistake.

H/N: Idk where this came from but…you’re hot

You: SORRY THIS WASN’T MEANT FOR YOU

H/N: Okay that kinda offends me…you have a bf and didn’t tell me???

You: NO OMG THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING HELP…it was for GF/N just for fun!!!

H/N: Ohhh…in that case…

You watched the dots signaling that he was still writing while you were still wondering how you would ever look at him without getting embarrassed from now on. It wasn’t like the two of you never talked about sex. In fact, he knew a lot about what you liked and didn’t like in the bedroom. Not because he had witnessed it. But thanks to multiple sleep overs with late-night conversations, when your lips became a little loose, you had discussed more sexual topics than you had ever dreamt of. Your cheeks were still feeling hot when you received another text.

H/N: How do I look?

Without missing a beat, he had attached a photo of him. Shirtless. His hair was disheveled, as if he had just removed his shirt, which he probably had. His sweatpants hung low on his hips as he stood in front of a mirror. He had tilted his head a little, showing off his jawline while he gazed at the camera with hooded eyes. You felt more embarrassed with every second you kept staring at his body.

H/N: OMG sorry this wasn’t for you!!!!!

Now you could only laugh at his stupid message.

You: Stop making fun of me!!

H/N: I’m trying to make you feel better!! Do I not get a compliment?

You: Thanks and you look great…can we please NEVER bring this up in the future?

H/N: Sure if that’s what you want…but if you ever need someone to rate your underwear again you know where to find me

~~~

And he really kept his promise. The next time you hung out, he was joking about everything but your little accident. You were thankful. But not mentioning the memory didn’t automatically delete it from your brain. And that’s where your newest problem begun.

You had never really looked at him in a sexual way before – sure, you thought he was handsome – but after than one damned picture he had sent you, you seemed to see him in a completely different light. There were no romantic feelings involved. But something felt profusely wrong about the way you thought about sex when he reached for a glass on the highest kitchen shelf and a small part of his abs was revealed. Or the way you instinctively licked your lips when you watched him stretch his neck in front of you. Or how your head spun when he lifted his shirt to wipe away his sweat when you worked out together.

One day was particularly bad. He had asked you to go to the public pool together, and being his best friend, of course you had said yes. As expected, he made you laugh until you were crying, scream when he playfully wrestled you in the water and giggle when he chased you on the water slide. And yet, you couldn’t help but notice his body. You almost felt bad, but then again, it wasn’t like you adored his character any less. You simply had some added adoration for another part of him. What were you supposed to do when he looked this good acting out a comic character while you played charades in the water? You might have been laughing on the outside, but you could barely tear your eyes off his neck and chest. Lately, you realized, the amount of thoughts you spent on wanting to kiss him had become problematic to you.

When you returned home at night, you couldn’t deny feeling sexually frustrated. Not wanting to give in to the inappropriate thoughts about your best friend, you turned on a tv show to distract yourself. But before you knew it, you were spending more time looking at your phone than at the tv screen. At first you browsed social media, but somehow you mustn’t have payed enough attention to your unconscious mind. You had miraculously landed on his Instagram, and when that didn’t entertain you anymore, you found yourself going back to your text messages with him. When you started at the shirtless picture he had sent you, you regretted not deleting it and forgetting about it right away. You wondered if he could ever feel the same way about you. You didn’t need any romantic feelings from him, in fact, you had no interest in a relationship at the moment. But you had never wanted someone this bad before and it was driving you crazy. So, before you could have stopped yourself, you were typing a message to him.

You: what r u doing??

H/N: do you miss me already?

H/N: ok do you really wanna know?

You: shut up you usually message me first!! and yes I do

H/N: I was about to jack off but you interrupted me

You almost choked on nothing when you read his message. Pretending you didn’t care, you replied quickly.

You: oh no am I killing the mood?

H/N: I didn’t say that

You: ????

H/N: don’t take this the wrong way but if you ever thought about sending me nudes again now would be the time

You: are u crazy?? are you actually asking me for nudes rn

H/N: it was worth a try ok let’s go back to being best friends who would never hook up

If you were freaking out about his previous messages, this one made you lose your mind completely. What was he saying? As confused as you were, you were also equally as sexually frustrated as he seemed to be. So, without a second thought, you chose the latest underwear picture you had taken and sent it to H/N.

You: that’s the most you’ll get…I won’t send complete nudes

You stared at the three dots indicating that he was writing a message. It felt like five minutes had passed when he finally replied.

H/N: fuck you’re so hot

And then he sent another shirtless picture. His bulge was prominent against his pants and the sight of it didn’t exactly help you with the pent-up frustration inside of you. But maybe it didn’t need to, because apparently, he felt the same way about you. You wanted to tell him about it. But there was no way you would be sexting your best friend at 11 pm, horny and frustrated. You knew you’d regret it and you’d only end up being embarrassed the next day. With no idea what to send him instead, you opted for simply waiting to see if he would say something. But he didn’t. Whilst waiting, you looked at his picture again. His jawline, his shoulders, his abs…and his boner straining against his sweatpants. For a moment you wondered if he was thinking about you too. Was he imagining it was you who was touching him when his hand wrapped around his cock? The more you let your thoughts run free, the worse your frustration became. And before you knew it, your hand was between your legs.

~~~

The next day you went about your duties, trying hard to pretend the previous day had been nothing but a fever dream. Luckily, you weren’t going to see him for another few days, so you could already practice an explanation of why sending nudes to each other had been a crazy idea. You worried about whether you could ever be the same around him after what had happened. But no matter how hard you tried to come up with a good reason why you should never even mention it again, you couldn’t. You were best friends who found each other hot. So what? Things could be worse. By nighttime, you had changed your mind. You were in the process of getting ready for sleeping, when your phone vibrated on your nightstand. His name lit up the screen.

H/N: you up?

You: not for long…whats up

H/N: I’m sorry for what I said yesterday about us not hooking up and so on…I was tipsy and you know my loose lips when I’m drunk

You: there’s nothing you need to apologize for

H/N: I was being weird and creepy…you’re my best friend

You: and you’re mine…that doesn’t stop me from finding you attractive

H/N: so I didn’t creep you out asking you for nudes?

You: I sent them to you, didn’t I… so what do u think

H/N: btw…thanks for that

You: likewise

…

H/N: so you’d do it again?

You: you’re not drunk now are you?

H/N: no just horny

You: dude I was about to go to sleep

If this had been a random guy you were occasionally talking to, you would have declined the request right away. You were tired and didn’t exactly feel too confident in your physical state. Nonetheless, you walked over to your mirror, pulled your shirt up until your bare breasts were almost exposed, and snapped a picture. Maybe it was the fact that you knew he’d return the favor and send you something back, or the immense trust you had in him. Posing in different ways, you took a few more pictures before you jumped back onto your bed. Impulsively, you chose the pictures you liked best and sent them to your best friend.

You: the things I do for you

H/N: fuck you look so good

You: have you always thought like that about me?

H/N: have I always found you hot?

You: yeah

H/N: I mean I never not found you hot

You: thanks I guess??

H/N: maybe we should have done this way earlier

You: agreed

Your eyes widened when he sent you a picture. He was still in his underwear, but his hand was wrapped around his visibly hard member outlined by the dark fabric. You had wanted to sleep, but somehow after looking at the photo for a little too long, you were wide awake. Leaning against the headboard of the bed, you let your head imagine whatever came to your mind. Never before had you noticed how much you liked his hands. Or maybe it was a temporary thing, now that you were already thinking inappropriate thoughts. You imagined it was his fingers softly touching the inside of your thigh, squeezing your breasts and playing with your nipples. The first time you moaned his name quietly, your cheeks heated up. But the more you thought of him, and the more you allowed yourself to wish it was him between your thighs, the more natural his name sounded between your whimpers.

And the two of you didn’t stop there. You might haven’t had time to hang out with him for another week or so, but you were texting each other more than ever before. Almost every night, you sent pictures to each other. With every passing day and every time you came thinking about his body on top of yours, you became more comfortable. Your messages to each other turned dirtier with every day and every picture was a little riskier than the previous one. By the way you cried out his name every night, your neighbors must have thought you had gotten a new boyfriend. One that was exceptionally good in bed, by the sounds of it.

Now it was exactly one week and a day after you had first sent him a picture of you. You had just stepped out of the shower and had a towel wrapped around your body as you entered your bedroom.

One could’ve thought you were going to be less horny, the more time you spent texting him about your inappropriate thoughts. It should have gotten less exciting at some point, shouldn’t it? To you, it was the complete opposite. He was all your thought about at night. So when you noticed your phone on your bed, you couldn’t stop your urge. You grabbed it, unlocked it and went straight to your messages with him.

You: please tell me you’re alone

H/N: yeah I am…do u need something?

Even though his text might have sounded innocent to anyone else, considering what you had done for each other all week long, you instantly got excited.

You: I have a present for you but since you’re not here I’ll unwrap it for you

H/N: I love presents

You had taken multiple photos. Starting from your with a towel covered body, you had slowly revealed more skin to him, until you had dropped the fabric completely. In the last picture you were covering your nipples with one hand across your chest, making sure your slightly parted lips were in the frame as well. After you had pressed ‘send’, you got comfortable on your bedsheets, not so patiently waiting for his reply. You hadn’t been able to get him off your mind while you had been showering. Now you didn’t even need to touch yourself to know how dripping wet you already were.

H/N: this is what you do to me

You were surprised when you saw his message. He had attached a video. Up to that day, it had only been photos you had sent to each other. So, when you clicked the ‘play’ button, you almost felt nervous. But the nervousness changed into something wholly different within the first two seconds of the video. His hand was down his pants, clearly stroking himself. He wasn’t speaking, but even the simple sound of his breathing behind the camera made your head spin.

H/N: do you want more?

You: I wish you were actually here

A blink of an eye after you had sent the message, instant regret hit you. Had you crossed a line? There had never been serious talk of the two of you actually hooking up, although you surely had thought about it more than you wanted to admit.

H/N: me too

You sighed in relief. So he wasn’t thinking you were going too far.

H/N: but its late and we’ve got work tomorrow

You barely had time to even think about a reply. The sole fact that he was seriously considering coming over or letting you drive to his place right now only justified the saying “People want what they can’t get”.

You: you’re right…this will have to do

…

H/N: let me know if you need more

But you already had your hand between your legs, his name on the brink of falling off your lips.  

The next day, you were surprisingly focused on your work. Of course, you thought of him. He was your best friend, after all. Who would you have been if you didn’t wonder what he was up to or if you didn’t wish he was having a nice day? But that was about it. No dirty thoughts, no random sexual frustration at 2 in the afternoon. That was, until your phone vibrated in your pockets and you opened his message.

H/N: wanna hang out at my place tonight?

It was finally Friday. After over a week of not seeing him, you didn’t just want to meet him because you wanted him sexually. You missed his silly jokes and the way he made you feel careless after a stressful day. So, needless to say, you agreed.

You weren’t sure what was going to happen. Were you just going to hang out, the way friends do? Were you even going to mention your texts to each other? Your nerves were going mad when you drove to his place in the evening. It was a weird feeling to have about your best friend, you had to admit. But then again, you had every right to after the past week.

When he opened the door for you, you didn’t feel half as awkward as you thought you would. His hug felt the way it always did, and his room still was like a second home to you.

“Do you wanna order take out?” he asked.

“What’s in your fridge?” you returned the question.

“If I’d have to guess I’d say two eggs, half a bottle of soda and some yogurt,” he said. You laughed, already pulling up an app to order some food.

“Take out it is,” you grinned, falling onto your stomach on his bed. He followed your example. His shoulder was touching yours while you tried hard to focus on scrolling through the different offers of meals. But your look was drawn to his hands too close to yours and from one moment to the other, your mind was flooded with sinful pictures. You thought of him here, in this very bed, jerking off to the thought of you. Taking pictures of himself so you could do the same. Too many times you had imagined your face buried in his pillows, letting him hear the way you had been crying his name all week long, being able to make him cum with your own body and feeling his lips on your skin. Was he thinking the same things right now? Was he also struggling to focus on the simplest tasks?

“You’ve been looking at that chicken for a while now. Are you gonna order it or not?” he asked, making fun of you. How were you going to sit here, waiting and then calmly eating your dinner as if nothing was different? When you didn’t reply, he grabbed your hands along with your phone, making you look at him. You couldn’t instantly read his expression. All you knew is that in six years of friendship, he had never once looked at you this way. Inevitably, your eyes went to his lips and back to his eyes.

“Aren’t we going to mention this whole nudes-sending situation at all?” he suddenly asked, grinning cheekily. “What? You’re thinking about it too, aren’t you?”

You swallowed thickly. “Thinking about what, exactly?”

“How badly I wanted you last night,” he said. His face was close to yours. If you only bent forward slightly, you could kiss him.

“As in…now you don’t want me anymore?” you asked. He chuckled.

“Do you really think I didn’t want to push you against the closest wall and make out with you the second you stepped into my house today?” he asked.

“Then why didn’t you?” you asked, smirking and inching your lips closer to his. “Because I would have loved that.”

Instead of answering you, he finally leaned in to connect your lips. Within the first seconds you were moaning, and his tongue was on yours. You abandoned your phone on his sheets, swinging one leg over his waist to straddle him. He groaned into your mouth when you pushed your hips against his, your crotch rubbing over his bulge. Judging by the way you both reacted, neither of you had plans to take this slow.

His hands wandered over your sides and to your ass, squeezing it a little. You only moaned again, your fingers getting busy with his button up shirt. Teasingly, he bit your lip while he pushed your shirt higher, goosebumps rising on the skin he touched. His breathing became heavier when you let your hands roam his chest, pushing the fabric of his open shirt to the side eagerly. When you rolled your hips over his bulge again, you felt his erection more prominently than before, making you smile to yourself. For a moment you pulled away and pulled your shirt over your head.

“I’ve wanted to touch you for so long,” he confessed, watching as you discarded your bra onto the floor.

“Me too,” you agreed. He had sat up as well, and you helped him remove his shirt eagerly. “I’ve been wondering what your hands feel like.”

At your words, he pulled you back on top of him, playing with your breasts softly. You reacted, leaning over him, so he could take one of your nipples into his mouth. You whimpered at the way his tongue pressed against your sensitive skin. He gave the same attention to the other side, his breath leaving behind a cold sensation where he had kissed you.

Then, you bent to his level again, lips meeting in a needy kiss. You let his tongue lead yours for a while. Meanwhile, your hands sneaked to the waistband of his sweatpants. He hissed into your mouth as you grabbed his length through his pants, palming him through the fabric.

“Are you still into biting?” you asked, referring to a late-night talk you had had in the past. He smirked, nodding. Softly, at first, you nibbled on his neck, occasionally licking and kissing him. You got the exact reaction you had expected when you bit him, not to harshly, but probably leaving a purple mark nonetheless. He moaned and threw his head back, only exposing more of his neck to you. As time went on, you made your way down his chest and his stomach, settling between his legs. As much as you enjoyed hearing his moans and attempts to make you hurry, you were just as impatient, if not worse.

In one go, you pulled down his pants and underwear. He lifted his hips so you could fully take the clothing off his legs. Your mouth watered at the sight of him below you.

“If you had told me two weeks ago, I would be sucking your dick today, I would have called you a clown,” you chuckled.

“Look how the tables have turned,” he said, laughing with you. But his expression hardened the moment your hand wrapped around his length. You stroked him a few times, before lowering your head. Your tongue licked a stripe up the side of his shaft, until you opened your lips just enough to take his tip into your mouth. He cursed under his breath when you batted your eyelashes at him.

“Fuck, don’t look at me like that,” he said.

“Why? Don’t you like it?” you asked, your hand continuously touching him.

“I like it maybe a little too much,” he said, only making you grin. His expression read pleasure, his brows furrowed and his lips hung slightly agape.

“There’s no such thing as liking something too much,” you said. Purposely, you watched his face when you wrapped your mouth around his cock, tongue pressing flat against the tip. Steadily, you bobbed your head, your hand covering the rest of his length. His thighs were flexing under your hands and his stomach was rising and falling in an uneven rhythm. He propped himself up on his forearms, watching you intently.

“This feels so much better when you do it,” he said, followed by a groan when his cock touched the back of your throat for a moment. Your hand was covered in your saliva by now, eyes tearing up a little bit, but you blinked the tears away quickly. Every time you pulled away a little, you made sure to swirl your tongue around the tip. Right away, you had noticed the way he hissed at that specific action. Again, he cursed under his breath and you made eye contact once more. His lips looked pink from where he had been biting them and his cheeks were slightly flushed a rosy color.

“Oh my god-,“ he moaned. “I’m so fucking close.”

You bobbed your head faster now. After another few seconds you pulled away, replacing your mouth with your hand. The muscles on his stomach were tense and he had his hands balled to tight fists next to his body. You enjoyed his moans for a while longer, before you could feel him twitch in your hands. When he reached his high, he let his body fall back, his arms no longer able to hold himself up to watch you. The evidence of his pleasure spilled onto his abs and you slowly let your hand come to a rest. One of his hands was swung over his forehead as he breathed heavily. When you looked up at him again, he still seemed exhausted but was grinning from ear to ear.

“Give me a second and I’ll return the favor,” he said, sitting up. At his words you realized once more how much you wanted him. Quickly, he cleaned himself up. As you rolled over to lay on your back next to his sitting figure, you yawned briskly, getting comfy in his sheets.

“You’re bored? If you want we can also just watch a movie, or if you feel like-,“ he said with raised eyebrows.

“Ha. Ha. Ha.” You sarcastically laughed, rolling your eyes at him. “I’m open for whatever. Right after you’ve made me cum on this mattress.”

“Alright,” he chuckled, turning so he hovered over you. “I think we can arrange that.”

He went straight to kissing your stomach and hips, while he unzipped your pants for you. His kisses tickled you a little, but the sensation was quickly forgotten by how close his hand was to where you wanted him most. In order to let him take off your pants, you lifted your hips a little. When he had thrown your pants aside, he couldn’t hide the cocky grin on his face at the sight of your underwear.

“This looks familiar…where have I seen these before?” he asked innocently, placing his hand on the material. You flinched a little when his fingers hovered over your center. It was a fleeting touch, but the lack of attention had made you needier than you would have thought.

“Imagine I hadn’t accidentally sent you that first picture,” you said.

“I don’t even want to imagine that,” he said, his dramatic tone making you laugh a little. Abruptly, your laugh turned into a whimper when he pressed one of his fingers against your covered clit.

“I get that you’re in no rush anymore, but I’m not gonna lie, I am,” you said, wriggling against his hand. He chuckled again but seemed to obey your request. His hand slid into the hem of your underwear, fingers instantly coated in your juices. In response, you only hummed contently when he curled his digits against your clit. Within seconds you relaxed into his touch. You put one of your arms under your head and closed your eyes for a while. Now and then, he teased your core by almost pushing his fingers inside of you, but then not doing so. As frustrating as it was, you couldn’t help but moan at the feeling. With skill, he rolled your clit between his digits. His free hand pulled on your underwear slightly, but not quite enough for it to come off. You whined at his teasing, looking into his eyes with a pleading gaze. He watched your expression for a while, probably enjoying the fact that he finally had the real you underneath him, instead of having to stare at some photos on his cellphone. So he finally obliged, making you feel empty when he pulled his hand out of your soaked panties, but simultaneously thankful.

“You have no idea how many times I imagined doing this within the last week,” he said. Then, he lowered his head and took your clit into his mouth. You had only opened your mouth to reply, but the words seemed to be deleted from your brain before they had time to come out, replaced by empty curse words. He didn’t waste any time in taking it slow, but you couldn’t have minded less. When he inserted to of his digits into you, your toes curled in pleasure and relief. With the way you whimpered desperately whenever he curled them against your walls, he had found your sweet spot in almost no time.

For more than a week you had been imagining, demanding for his touch, so deeply that now you could barely think straight when you finally got what you wanted. His tongue could do so much better than your own fingers could ever satisfy you. It was the unpredictability that made this so much more enticing than when you touched yourself. Would he slow down for a while, giving your breathing time to calm down, only to suck on your swollen clit feverishly out of nowhere? Would he curl his fingers inside of you almost painfully slowly, or would he almost pull them out completely, only to slide them right back into your core, until your vision felt so blurry you had to close your eyes? The more you thought about how good he made you feel, the quicker you felt your orgasm approach. One of his hands softly stroked over your belly, a strong contrast to the way your insides seemed to tie themselves into a tight knot that took up all your attention.

“Oh my god- please don’t stop,” you only moaned. Of course he didn’t. He only hummed against your center, only adding to how incredible you felt. As much as you loved watching him between your legs, there was no force that could have kept your eyes from shutting anymore. Your back arched off the sheets and your hands tightened in pleasure when the familiar feeling washed over your mind. You whimpered and struggled hard to keep your legs from closing around his head. For a few seconds you were blinded by the bliss, until your sensitivity began to set in. You softly pushed his head with your fingers in his hair, and he slowed down and drew back.

It took you a while to come down and until your breathing had regained its normality. Your eyelids fluttered open, while he plopped down next to you. He swung one of his arms around your waist, an action he had done multiple times in the past – only now neither of you was wearing clothes.

“That was amazing,” you said. “And here I thought I’d forever regret sending you that photo.”

He chuckled. “Agreed. So, what do you say? Are we able to focus on what to order for takeout now?”

You nodded and laughed, hoping this instance wouldn’t be the last time this happened between you two.

[kmorales1]

Office Affairs

Pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader

Word Count: 2.2k

Rating: Explicit (Anyone under 18, go away, thanks.)

Warnings: Uh, unprotected sex(this is fiction please wrap it before you tap it), i'm bad at this. One(1) mention of spit(whoops).

A note: Hey, so I wrote this in an hour and (maybe) a half. This entire thing is purely based off my intense yearning for Javi the past few days(more like weeks). Also he's incredibly hard to write for so I hope I was able to capture his character. This is also my first time writing smut, let alone posting it. Be gentle with your critics lmao. It might not be entirely cohesive but I tried really hard but anyway this is what my brain popped out.

Javier Peña is the type of guy to take you home for a quick fuck, cuddle you like he’s in love with you, and then leave an hour later without barely a glance in your direction. You know this, you’d heard the whispers about him in the embassy when you were making your way to the filing room, or to the break room for your afternoon lunch.

And you believed them.

The first night Javier took you home you were 99% sure that you’d get the best fuck of your life out of him and then he’d be gone before you could even ask him to stay the night. And let’s be honest you wanted him to stay the night. To feel him pressed against you, his broad chest against your back, his breath fanning over the back of your neck. God, you yearned for that man. Or maybe just a man, it’d been a while.

You weren’t entirely wrong though, you did get the best fuck of your life out of him, but you also found the Javier that was sprawled in your bed, a lit cigarette between his lips, wasn’t the same man he was in the daylight of the office.

He was quieter, soft spoken, almost open.

The first few times he had stayed for a bit after to lay pressed beside you talking about work and you had even managed to pull a few details about his life back home. A few. But those few details only left you craving more, and who could blame you. He was intoxicating. You hadn’t been expecting it and now that you saw it, you wanted more.

“You know, you’re different like this.”

You had practically whispered the words to him, a little scared you might somehow push him back into the person he was in the light of day. But he only offered you something almost like a smile and leaned forward to press his lips to yours.

“I think, maybe i’m just different with you.”

He didn’t elaborate or say anything more, and you didn’t say anything in response. Cause what could you say? He’d pressed you open into the mattress a few minutes later his head between your thighs. Taking you apart slowly whispering filthy things as he brought you over the edge.

Your heart clenched as he laid his head on your thigh afterwards, his hair an unruly mess.

You wanted him like this all the time.

You weren’t naïve,though. So you didn’t think much of the way he laid beside you, or the things he said to you. He could feed any pretty woman words to make them feel special, and no matter how much you wanted to be different, something told you weren’t.

That became apparent when you started seeing less of Javier and hearing more about his informants and the other women he would bring home some nights. You weren’t mad, nor jealous, but you weren’t exactly fine either.

Coming home from a late night at work you had passed him and who you assumed was one of those said people that were whispered about. She was laughing at something, his arm locked tight around her waist guiding her down the hall. His face didn’t match hers but he certainly didn’t look unhappy, and when you crossed their path trying hurriedly to get into your apartment before seeing something you didn’t want to, he barely spared you a side glance.

Fine.

You stopped giving him the attention he silently would ask for in the daytime. His gaze burning hot on your body as you silently sipped your tea in the corner of the break room. Or the way he would brush your shoulder as he passed your desk. It’s almost laughable how he could seemingly seek your attention out one minute and then act like you didn’t exist the next. You didn’t play into it and things were fine.

Until they weren’t.

“You’re ignoring me, princesa.”

He’s got you cornered in the filing room his broad form practically towering over you. This is the closest you’ve been to him since you’d seen him that night, or the occasional time he would purposeful bump into you in the office.

“Hello Javi,” You barely managed to hold onto the papers in your hands. His close proximity to you slightly knocking you off center. You weren’t entirely lying when you said things were fine, but him being so close and the smell of him nearly overpowering was reminding you of the parts that were exactly not fine.

“I’m sorry i’ve been so busy.”

That’s a lie. You know it’s a lie, he knows it’s a lie. Things had been incredibly slow the past couple of weeks. Pablo in hiding from a recent raid that hit a little too close to home.

“I think we both know that’s a lie,”

And oh, is his voice a little breathier.

You curse yourself quietly, because you’re supposed to be putting this behind you. This man only sought you out when he felt like it when he was bored. But the way he’s pressed so close to you, if you just leaned forward a tiny bit. His eyes are skimming over your face, like he’s taking in the changes he’s missed in the past few weeks he hasn’t seen you.

There’s a tilt of his head and a small push forward and his lips are a near inch away from yours.

“Don’t you miss me, baby?”

Your knees nearly buckle.

He called you that exactly one time before. A rough raid with Carrillo had him stumbling into your apartment at nearly 1 am, luckily you had just gotten home from work and were still awake. His shirt was damp with sweat, the color of it slightly darker than the original pink, a stray mark of blood on his face- you later found out wasn’t his. He’d been needy, the way he had pressed you into the counter in your kitchen, fucked you within an inch of your life it felt like. Growling filthy things into your ear, praising you, before pulling you roughly to the floor(his back didn’t forgive him for days after that) and sliding you onto him. You’d rode him hard and fast nearly sobbing your release. He’d came up to cradle you to him. Whispering baby and your name reverently into your hair. You didn’t talk about it, what had made him so frantic. You had to practically peel yourself away from him and when you did it had broken the spell. He was up, fixing his jeans, kissing your forehead and then he was gone out the door before you could even get words out.

Javier whispering your name brings you back to the present, his eyes are locked on your lips and fuck-

Your fingers are dropping the papers and urgently sliding up his back to curl in his hair, pulling him the last bit of distance to bring his mouth to yours.

You’ll tell him later that you don’t forgive him for that debacle with the woman he brought home with him and you’ll also tell him the other things that have been pent up for the past almost month. And if he doesn’t like it oh well, but god right now all you want is to be fucked by this infuriating man.

“Javi-“

Your plea is broken as his tongue swipes the inside of your mouth his hands holding firmly to your hips.

“Javi please”

He shushes you, his leg coming to press between your thighs, right against where you want him the most and you nearly keen at the relief it gives. His thigh flexes and applies just the pressure to send your hips sliding forward.

“Quiet, princesa you don’t want anyone to hear,”

Oh fuck. You’re at work right now. You’re at work fuck. You’re at work. You remind yourself again.

One more time you’re at work-

But no one really comes back here. (that’s a lie)

His hands are guiding your hips roughly, and you’re practically riding his thigh. The feeling is too much and not enough all at once.

“Anything, Javi please.”

You’re breathless whimper has him growling under his breath as he pushes you deeper into the cabinets. His hands tear your skirt out of the way, pushing your panties aside before dipping his fingers into your center.

“Baby, fuck you’re so wet,”

His fingers leave you momentarily to slide into his mouth. The hum that leaves him is enough to push a wave of slick out of you, and you eagerly grip any part of him you can reach.

“Is this for me? You have missed me,”

The smug look on his face makes you want to roll your eyes, and you would if he wasn’t currently sliding his fingers back into you and curling them just like that-

“Fuck! Javi,”

The hand that is grasping your hips leaves to hurriedly slap a hand over your mouth. His eyes are burning into yours his teeth bared slightly.

“I said quiet, do you want our coworkers seeing how much a slut you are for me?”

He licks a line up the side of your neck before coming to suckle and bite lightly on your ear.

“Youd like it wouldn’t you?”

You’re practically dripping at his words, the squelching noise from his fingers fucking into you roughly is nearly obscene. You’re so close you could cry, if he could just give a little more.

“More,”

It’s a desperate plea for anything and it’s slightly muffled by his hand but he gets the message. His hand drops and you’re caught off guard by him roughly undoing his belt and pushing his pants down enough for his cock to spring free.

You nearly moan at the sight, long and thick with precum gathering at the tip. Fuck it’s been so long you want to taste. But he’s got you shoved back up against the nearest filing cabinet, his hand back over your mouth as he nudges his cock against your clit.

You keen at the slight pressure it gives before you jerk at the feeling of him sliding into you fully his hips flush to yours.

“Fuck, hermosa,” his teeth are clenched tight the cords of his neck strained as he whispers praises into your ear.

"Baby you’re so tight, missed you.”

You don’t even have time to process the last part before he’s almost urgently pulling out to slam back in. You want to worry about the noises that are being made but just as the thought comes in it’s gone. He’s fucking into you hard, his hand still covering your mouth tightly, trying hard to mask the moans that are escaping you. The slight jingle of his belt buckle as he roughly pounds into you shouldn’t be as erotic as it is. His head is pressed to your shoulder and you can feel the air from his mouth as he pants.

You’re so close you can practically feel yourself dripping down your thighs. One of your hands is curled tightly in his hair and the other snakes down your body to rub between your clit. Your breath is coming out harsh from your nose meeting the warm skin of his hand and god the thought of his hand over your mouth as he fucks you is so much you think you might come now.

But then his hand slips away and he’s sliding it in your hair to tilt your head back. Baring his teeth he gives one particularly hard thrust before demanding.

“Open.”

Immediately your mouth snaps open and he spits.

"Fucking swallow it."

You do, quickly before you lift eagerly to meet his mouth, teeth clinking harshly.

“Javi i’m gonna come-“

He’s pulling back, whispering urgently in your ear .

"Do it baby, do it now. Cum for me."

You’re pushing to meet his thrusts hurriedly chasing the orgasm you feel tightening in your stomach.

“I said now,” The harshness in his voice sends you reeling. You keen, a little too loudly to be in your office building, the thread snapping as you tumble over the edge. Your cunt clenching hard around him. Somewhere through the haze you feel Javier bite roughly into your shoulder and his cock jerk inside of you as he cums.

His hands are sliding around you to pull you into him his face meeting your neck as he pants, his cock softening inside of you. There’s a pleasant sounding hum from him as you card your fingers through his hair your nails scratching lazily at his scalp. The room is humid and sticky you suddenly come back to yourself, sinking down from your post orgasm high.

“Javier,”

The change in your voice has him pulling back to look at you before his eyes widen in understanding.

Yes, basking in the after sex glow isn’t the best idea at the moment.

“We can talk after work okay?”

There’s a nod from him before he’s sliding out of you with a hiss and tucking himself back into his jeans. And there’s a lot to talk about, he isn’t off the hook, and you’ve got to think it over because you know you have technically no right to even be upset.

You’re adjusting your skirt when you feel him cup your cheek.

“I really did miss you.”

Its said quietly, almost like it’s a secret.

And momentarily, you forget everything you need to be confused about with him.

"I missed you too."

[lonelyreputation]

omg i saw ur writing for barzal !!! ‘how about a hug, hm?’ seems so cute <3

Ahh yes I’m gonna try!!! Also probably going to re-post it on my hockey blog (@matwith1t) so !!! Let’s give it a whirl! First Mat with one t writing! Woot!

Post-Grad Uncertainties 

Prompt: “how about a hug, hm?” // prompt list // Fluff, brief mention of anxiety 

Mat Barzal x Reader // WC: 1.5k

You were trying your hardest to enjoy your last few months of university. Trying to savor all of the “free time” you had before that time would eventually be taken up by a nine to five job with an hour for lunch. Trying to enjoy midnight study sessions in the library with your friends, as you all laughed and reminisced about sophomore year instead of actually studying. And trying to enjoy attending your boyfriend’s hockey games while wearing his New York Islanders sweatshirt––your lucky charm––in hopes he scored a goal.

You were trying really hard to enjoy the good times. But the looming thought of post-grad employment always lingered in the back of your head. 

It was there when you went to a coffee shop with Mat early in the morning before his practice. There when you were in the library with your friends, being sushed by other students for laughing too loud. And there when Mat had scored a goal and pointed up at you in the stands.

Over winter break, when you went home to visit for a bit before returning to New York, it had been the first question everyone asked you when they found out you were about to be a second semester senior. So, they would hesitantly start out, what are your plans for after graduation? 

Who was even hiring? When did you have to have applications in by? Where would that career take you? What job?

With your laptop open and notebooks spread out across Mat’s kitchen table, you were at a loss. You decided to take a study break and search for jobs on LinkedIn, contact people who you met by networking to see if they knew any companies hiring, and even stooped as low as to calling your stringent dad for advice. But nothing was proving helpful and you buried your face in your hands, prepared to have a break down.

You were about to give up and get back to taking notes when you heard the jingle of keys from outside and then saw the door open. And in the midst of feeling an abundance of anxiety, you smiled as Mat awkwardly maneuvered through the door clutching his keys, phone, and bulky practice bag. He kicked the door shut with his foot and dropped his bag with a heavy sigh.

Without a care, he threw his keys on top of his practice bag––no matter how many times you told him it would just be easier to hang them up right when he walked through the door––and looked up from his phone. A smile instantly stretched across his face as he walked into the kitchen.

“I didn’t know you’d be here,” he said to you as he pulled two glasses from a cabinet and filled them up with water.

You smiled appreciatively as he came over and set a water down in front of you and took the seat next to you, “Couldn’t concentrate anywhere,” you nervously tapped your index finger on the table, “I can leave if you want to be alone––”

Mat's laugh calmed down every nerve you felt before he had arrived. “I gave you a key, remember?” He said with a smirk as he took a sip of water.

Bashfully, you tucked your chin down into your chest as you felt the same butterflies reappear in your stomach like they had two weeks ago when Mat gave you a key to his apartment. 

“What’re you studying now?” Mat picked up one of your textbooks and flipped through the pages, making sure he marked the page you were on with his thumb so he wouldn’t lose your place, “Always too smart for me. Everyone will want you after you graduate.”

You tried letting out laugh, tried to see the humor behind his encouraging comment, but all it did was bring up every insecurity you had about not finding a job.

The breathy laugh you tried to let out ended up getting caught in your throat. The prickling behind your eyes became too strong. And with the scratchiness you felt on the back of your throat…You knew what was about to happen.

Screwing your eyes shut tight, you brought a hand up to cover your mouth as you hiccuped. 

“Y/n?” Mat softly cooed your name as he placed a gentle hand on your forearm, “Hey, what’s up?”

And that’s all it took for your composure to come undone. The tears broke their dam and flowed as if there was nothing that could stop them. Your shoulders slightly shook as you openly cried in front of your boyfriend into the palms of your hands. Mat had said nothing wrong, he was just being the encouraging boyfriend he promised to be since day one, but his soft words and caring tone of voice somehow triggered a switch.

Not saying a thing, Mat moved his chair right up next to yours. He had one hand gently rubbing up and down your back, and the other hand was still on your forearm; his fingertips softly drawing patterns on your arm. He let you get all of your emotions out, because he knew from previous experience that if you were to explain yourself, it would come out in choppy phrases between your cries.

“Deep breaths,” he whispered in your ear as you felt him rest his chin on your shoulder, “In, one…two…three…Out, four…five…six…” He guided you through a few more breathing exercises until your cries were nonexistent.

He sat there, chin still comfortably resting on your shoulder, for a few more minutes of silence. You appreciated that he didn’t try to remove your hands from your face since you still had a few more silent tears leaking from the corners of your eyes.

“Talk to me,” Mat whispered.

With one last shaky breath, you lifted your head up from your hands and ripped away the last of your tears with the heels of your palm, “Do you really think everyone will want to hire me after I graduate?”

Mat lifted his chin from your shoulder and tilted his head with furrowed eyebrows, “Uh, yeah,” he said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, “You’re perfect.”

With a small laugh, you swatted his chest, but he caught your hand in his before it could fall into your lap. You avoided his gaze as you looked down at the keyboard of your laptop, “Everything is just so hard,” you said in a quiet voice, “Making sure you have the right experience, making sure you have the right connections, having the job pay decently, trying not to hate it, checking the location of the job––And did you know that some companies will just ghost you––”

“Whoa, whoa,” Mat calmly said when he noticed you starting to get worked up again. You took a deep breath and he smiled at you, “Everything will work out.”

You felt your shoulders drop, “But what if it doesn’t,” your voice cracked, “My internship hasn’t mentioned anything about it potentially rolling into full time. And what if I––”

“Whether your internship offers you a job, whether you find a job and they want you right after you graduate, or you find a job six months or even a year after you graduate,” You slowly picked your head up to see Mat with the most hopeful look in his eyes, “It’ll be just what you want because you know not to settle for anything less than you deserve.” He wiggled his eyebrows at you and he triumphantly smiled when he saw a smile tug at the corners of your lips, “Whatever the job may be, whenever the job comes, it’ll all work out.”

You took a sip of water before looking at Mat and sniffling, “You think so?” 

He squeezed your hand, “I know so.”

Nodding your head, you let out a deep breath and finally showed Mat a real smile, “You’re the best.”

Mat rolled his eyes, “I know.” You let out a scoff, but before you could pull your hand away from his, he stood up and tugged you up with him, “How about a hug, hm?”

Without any hesitation, you fell into his chest and leaned your head on the soft material of his sweatshirt. Like he had done earlier, his hands reassuringly rubbed up and down your back, causing you to let up on all of the pent up anxiety you felt about searching for jobs. 

You felt Mat press a kiss to the top of your head as he mumbled, “How about a movie and some cuddling?"

"I could use a study break,” you nodded into his chest.

Mat’s arms dropped from around you, as he picked up your hand, and dragged you into the living room. You plopped down on the couch as he grabbed the remote off the coffee table, and soon enough, there was a movie from Netflix that neither of you cared about as you rested your head on Mat’s chest and easily fell asleep to the steady beating of his heart.

[matwith1t]

A/N: Hiii! This is my first little writing for Mat! Reposting it from my other account so I can have it all lined up here! I hope you like it, would love to hear your thoughts! 🎓📚🍾 Thank you much to the wonderful @matsbarzals​ for the request!!

Prompt: ‘how about a hug, hm? // Fluff, brief mention of anxiety

WC: 1.5k

You were trying your hardest to enjoy your last few months of university. Trying to savor all of the “free time” you had before that time would eventually be taken up by a nine to five job with an hour for lunch. Trying to enjoy midnight study sessions in the library with your friends, as you all laughed and reminisced about sophomore year instead of actually studying. And trying to enjoy attending your boyfriend’s hockey games while wearing his New York Islanders sweatshirt––your lucky charm––in hopes he scored a goal.

You were trying really hard to enjoy the good times. But the looming thought of post-grad employment always lingered in the back of your head.

It was there when you went to a coffee shop with Mat early in the morning before his practice. There when you were in the library with your friends, being sushed by other students for laughing too loud. And there when Mat had scored a goal and pointed up at you in the stands.

Over winter break, when you went home to visit for a bit before returning to New York, it had been the first question everyone asked you when they found out you were about to be a second semester senior. So, they would hesitantly start out, what are your plans for after graduation?

Who was even hiring? When did you have to have applications in by? Where would that career take you? What job?

With your laptop open and notebooks spread out across Mat’s kitchen table, you were at a loss. You decided to take a study break and search for jobs on LinkedIn, contact people who you met by networking to see if they knew any companies hiring, and even stooped as low as to calling your stringent dad for advice. But nothing was proving helpful and you buried your face in your hands, prepared to have a break down.

You were about to give up and get back to taking notes when you heard the jingle of keys from outside and then saw the door open. And in the midst of feeling an abundance of anxiety, you smiled as Mat awkwardly maneuvered through the door clutching his keys, phone, and bulky practice bag. He kicked the door shut with his foot and dropped his bag with a heavy sigh.

Without a care, he threw his keys on top of his practice bag––no matter how many times you told him it would just be easier to hang them up right when he walked through the door––and looked up from his phone. A smile instantly stretched across his face as he walked into the kitchen.

“I didn’t know you’d be here,” he said to you as he pulled two glasses from a cabinet and filled them up with water.

You smiled appreciatively as he came over and set a water down in front of you and took the seat next to you, “Couldn’t concentrate anywhere,” you nervously tapped your index finger on the table, “I can leave if you want to be alone––”

Mat's laugh calmed down every nerve you felt before he had arrived. “I gave you a key, remember?” He said with a smirk as he took a sip of water.

Bashfully, you tucked your chin down into your chest as you felt the same butterflies reappear in your stomach like they had two weeks ago when Mat gave you a key to his apartment.

“What’re you studying now?” Mat picked up one of your textbooks and flipped through the pages, making sure he marked the page you were on with his thumb so he wouldn’t lose your place, “Always too smart for me. Everyone will want you after you graduate.”

You tried letting out laugh, tried to see the humor behind his encouraging comment, but all it did was bring up every insecurity you had about not finding a job.

The breathy laugh you tried to let out ended up getting caught in your throat. The prickling behind your eyes became too strong. And with the scratchiness you felt on the back of your throat…You knew what was about to happen.

Screwing your eyes shut tight, you brought a hand up to cover your mouth as you hiccuped.

“Y/n?” Mat softly cooed your name as he placed a gentle hand on your forearm, “Hey, what’s up?”

And that’s all it took for your composure to come undone. The tears broke their dam and flowed as if there was nothing that could stop them. Your shoulders slightly shook as you openly cried in front of your boyfriend into the palms of your hands. Mat had said nothing wrong, he was just being the encouraging boyfriend he promised to be since day one, but his soft words and caring tone of voice somehow triggered a switch.

Not saying a thing, Mat moved his chair right up next to yours. He had one hand gently rubbing up and down your back, and the other hand was still on your forearm; his fingertips softly drawing patterns on your arm. He let you get all of your emotions out, because he knew from previous experience that if you were to explain yourself, it would come out in choppy phrases between your cries.

“Deep breaths,” he whispered in your ear as you felt him rest his chin on your shoulder, “In, one…two…three…Out, four…five…six…” He guided you through a few more breathing exercises until your cries were nonexistent.

He sat there, chin still comfortably resting on your shoulder, for a few more minutes of silence. You appreciated that he didn’t try to remove your hands from your face since you still had a few more silent tears leaking from the corners of your eyes.

“Talk to me,” Mat whispered.

With one last shaky breath, you lifted your head up from your hands and ripped away the last of your tears with the heels of your palm, “Do you really think everyone will want to hire me after I graduate?”

Mat lifted his chin from your shoulder and tilted his head with furrowed eyebrows, “Uh, yeah,” he said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, “You’re perfect.”

With a small laugh, you swatted his chest, but he caught your hand in his before it could fall into your lap. You avoided his gaze as you looked down at the keyboard of your laptop, “Everything is just so hard,” you said in a quiet voice, “Making sure you have the right experience, making sure you have the right connections, having the job pay decently, trying not to hate it, checking the location of the job––And did you know that some companies will just ghost you––”

“Whoa, whoa,” Mat calmly said when he noticed you starting to get worked up again. You took a deep breath and he smiled at you, “Everything will work out.”

You felt your shoulders drop, “But what if it doesn’t,” your voice cracked, “My internship hasn’t mentioned anything about it potentially rolling into full time. And what if I––”

“Whether your internship offers you a job, whether you find a job and they want you right after you graduate, or you find a job six months or even a year after you graduate,” You slowly picked your head up to see Mat with the most hopeful look in his eyes, “It’ll be just what you want because you know not to settle for anything less than you deserve.” He wiggled his eyebrows at you and he triumphantly smiled when he saw a smile tug at the corners of your lips, “Whatever the job may be, whenever the job comes, it’ll all work out.”

You took a sip of water before looking at Mat and sniffling, “You think so?”

He squeezed your hand, “I know so.”

Nodding your head, you let out a deep breath and finally showed Mat a real smile, “You’re the best.”

Mat rolled his eyes, “I know.” You let out a scoff, but before you could pull your hand away from his, he stood up and tugged you up with him, “How about a hug, hm?”

Without any hesitation, you fell into his chest and leaned your head on the soft material of his sweatshirt. Like he had done earlier, his hands reassuringly rubbed up and down your back, causing you to let up on all of the pent up anxiety you felt about searching for jobs.

You felt Mat press a kiss to the top of your head as he mumbled, “How about a movie and some cuddling?"

"I could use a study break,” you nodded into his chest.

Mat’s arms dropped from around you, as he picked up your hand, and dragged you into the living room. You plopped down on the couch as he grabbed the remote off the coffee table, and soon enough, there was a movie from Netflix that neither of you cared about as you rested your head on Mat’s chest and easily fell asleep to the steady beating of his heart.

[harrywritingsbyme]

Sunday Smut Concept #19

A/N: Since this is the 100th full piece of writing I’ve posted on my blog, I decided to include two ‘inspos’ for you guys😌🥳!! It’s soft and filthy...Enjoy🙃

When I see this, my mind immediately goes to Soft Dom!Harry and Sub!Y/n.

When it came to the ever mounting pressure between your legs, you’d do anything to release some of it. As long as you felt some type of relief, you could care less about what you had to do. Ever since you woke up this morning, you were desperate for Harry to touch you. Even after he made you cum around his cock you were still needy for him. You wanted to tell him just how bad you needed him, but you knew that he had to go to the studio. If you were to just tell Harry that you needed more, he’d be more than willing to take care of you for as long as you needed and just be late to his studio session. And that was the last thing you wanted was for him to be late for that. So, you decided to just keep burning need yourself and suffer in silence. 

And suffer was the perfect word to describe the rest of your day. 

When Harry left, your hands immediately went under your skirt to play with yourself. You couldn’t do much though because one of Harry’s rules was that you weren’t allowed to cum unless you had his permission. So, you decided to play with yourself through your panties until Harry got home. You figured that if you were a good girl while he was gone, he’d reward you with as many releases as you wanted. Also, you cumming on your own wouldn’t feel the same as Harry making you cum. Releases that Harry caused were far more powerful and better than what you could do for yourself. So with this being said, you were going to do your very best to follow this rule. 

And you did  in fact do a pretty good job at it. 

Even though your need for Harry was growing even larger, you still managed to find a level of relief. You started off with touching yourself through your panties. You’d either circle your two fingers around your now puffy and very sensitive clit, or drag those fingers a bit lower and apply pressure to your entrance (when you did this, you always thought about how it felt when Harry would begin to push his cock into you). You’d also place yourself on top of a pillow and push your hips down into it as if you were riding Harry’s cock. Even though the feeling was nowhere near as good as riding Harry, you were still able to relieve some of the throbbing in your clit. 

As the time passed and it got closer and closer to the time that Harry would arrive back home, your need only got worse. It got so bad that you resorted to doing something that you’d never done before. As you were coming from the kitchen, you felt the throbbing sensation you were trying to ignore flare back up. You stopped right in your tracks and you pushed your hand up under your skirt and you began to rub at your clit. This wasn’t enough though. You continued to stand there for a couple more minuets, earnestly touching yourself over the now drenched material of your panties in an attempt to calm the throbbing sensation down but nothing was working. When you lifted your head to take a deep breath to calm yourself down (and to stop yourself from crying), your eyes landed on the pointed corner of the dining table. You’d never considered using that as a way to get yourself off and relieve some pressure between your legs before. But desperate times called for desperate measures. You swiftly pull your hand from your skirt before shuffling over to the corner of the table that you were closest to. You spread your legs a little, lift your skirt up to see what you were doing, and you slowly glide down and forward towards the table. When you do this, you let out the loudest moan. The way the hard surface pressed against you felt amazing. You couldn’t believe that you’d never tried this before.

 It didn’t take long for you to get sucked into the amazing feeling that came from doing this. You were so entranced that you didn’t even notice or hear Harry come through the door. When he first came into the house, there was complete silence. But as he got closer and closer to the kitchen, he began to hear small whimpers and moans. As Harry followed the sound, his cock began to swell. He could only imagine what you were doing. He hoped that you had been following his rule of not cumming without his permission. But hearing how pitiful and desperate you were made Harry throw out the entire thought of punishing you, redirecting his agenda towards making you cum as many times as he wanted or as many times as you could handle. Which judging by how pitiful you sounded, could mean a lot. When Harry reached the source of those sounds, he couldn’t believe his eyes. You had the cute little skirt he’d bought for you bunched up around your waist as you pushed your clothed cunt against the edge of the table. 

Seeing you like this only made Harry’s desire to make you cum over and over again that much greater. The sight of you humping the table amazing, but the fact that you were trying to be a good girl and follow his rule made it 10 times better. Harry wastes no time in coming over to you. Instead of him making his presence known, all he does is come up behind you and place his hands on your sides, pressing his body completely against yours. When he does this, your grip on your skirt loosens and you immediately freeze in place. You were too caught up in your own pleasure that you didn’t even notice him come in. Now you were completely embarrassed. 

“Did you cum today princess?” Harry asks you quietly. 

“No daddy.” You whisper back, feeling his cock against you even more as he nudges you forward against the table. 

“Do you wanna cum sweet girl?” He asks, sliding a hand down to the top hem of your exposed panties. 

“So much daddy.” You quickly beg. 

Without saying a word, Harry pulls away from you. He pulls you off of the table and turns you around to face him. He could see it in your eyes just how bad you were needing him.

“Daddy’s gonna take a quick look at your sweet little peach and then he’s gonna make you feel good. Okay baby?” He asks, coming back towards you and lifting you up onto the edge of the table. All you could to was feverishly nod yes. You were going to take anything you could get, especially if it meant finally being able to cum. 

Before you knew it, Harry was pushing your legs apart and crouching between them. He lifts your skirt up and his eyes go straight to your damp panties. There was a large patch of your arousal that bled right through your panties. You must’ve been like this all day long. This prompted Harry’s mind to create an image of you doing various things throughout the day that were centered around relieving yourself. He wished that he was there to take care of you and make you feel good. If you would’ve called him, telling him what you needed, he would’ve been more than happy to drop what he was doing in order to take care of you. But you didn’t, which meant that Harry was even more determined to make you cum and feel good. Without anymore of a delay, Harry brings his head in and presses a soft peck to the damp spot in your panties. Resulting in a surprised, gasp from you. At this point, any touch from Harry would get that reaction. 

He quickly stands back up in front of you and wastes no time undoing his pants and pushing them down so that they’re pooling around his ankles. When you see his cock standing up between his legs, you became excited. You were finally going to cum again. You were finally going to release all of this pent up need and frustration. To speed things along, you don’t even bother with talking off your panties. Instead, you hook your finger around the strip of material that was covering your pussy, and you pull it to the side to expose your weepy and ready entrance. 

“Always nice and ready f’me.” Harry praises, wrapping his hand around his very hard cock. He comes in closer to you, placing a hand on your hip and lining himself up with your entrance. He doesn’t wait any longer before pushing into you. When he does this, your upper body goes limp, causing you to fully lay against the table while he pushes into you. Feeling your warm and spongy walls tighten as you took more and more of him was driving Harry insane. Nothing could ever compare to this feeling. The same thing, if not more could be said about you too. The fullness that came along with his cock being inside of you, along with the sting of his cock stretching you to fit, and the feeling of him deep inside of you was a lot to handle. Even though he just pushed inside, you were certain that you weren’t going to last.

After taking a couple seconds for you both to adjust, Harry begins to thrust into you. Instead of going hard and fast the way he usually would, he decides to slow it down and give it to you nice and deep. You were never opposed to him pounding into you. But him sending slow yet deep thrusts into you felt amazingly different. You could really feel his cock inside of you. You could feel him filling you up over and over again, sending his cock into the deepest part of you. It felt absolutely amazing. It felt so amazing that you were beginning to clench even more around his cock, and you could feel your release bubbling up even more in your stomach.

You weren’t the only one who was on cloud nine. You felt so good around Harry that he struggled to hold himself up. The way you were moaning his name and chanting how good his cock felt didn’t help either. He too could feel his release fast approaching. When he looked down towards you, he could see your head tilted back against the hard surface as you kept a tight grip on the table and took his cock. All of this just about did it for Harry. Knowing that you were on the verge of cumming, he lets go of one of your hips and he pulls you by your arm, cradling you against his chest. When he does this, you wrap yourself around him and you drop your head right into his shoulder. You can feel his thrusts becoming sharper and deeper, along with his hand that wasn’t wrapped around you come down to your clit. Your moans become even louder at this and you can’t stop yourself from letting go. 

“C’mon sweet girl, cum f’me.” Harry pants, pushing his hips up once more before holding himself up tightly against you. 

“Oh my-“ you whimper, feeling all of your pent up need melting away. You feel yourself fall into a sense of much needed relief. This is what you’d been needing all day. What made it even better was the feeling of Harry’s cum pouring into you and hearing his moans as he did it. 

This was only the beginning of an afternoon filled much needed releases. 

Masterlist

[whitelionspirit]

Hello!!! I'm now in Christmas spirit. 🎄Well it's now Christmas month haha. Can I request head canons of Law, Ace and Luffy x fem! S/O that still believes in Santa Claus? Well more secretly because she's afraid that people find it stupid. Also because when she was young she has meet the real Santa Claus. And... The boys will also meet the real Santa Claus and you can decide how they meet. Take your time. 😊

a/n: A rather interesting request but a good one none the less. Also my first time writing for Luffy and Law so yay! (P.s. I got carried away with this so it’s a bit long)

..

Luffy

As someone who easily believes in anything it would not be hard to see him also believing in Santa far into his adult life.

The rest of the crew besides Chopper easily dismiss his excitement over the arrival of the big man. Luffy calls them scrooges for not believing but happily goes on about his day as usually.

Though it becomes apparent after his confession that you had become rather quiet the rest of the day. While it was not a strange thing it seemed something was very much bothering you.

It got worse as the holiday drew nearer and the idea at stopping at a winter island became a more agreeable idea. Finally after docking and everyone leaving the ship to do some sight seeing you were left with Luffy who surprisingly decided to stay behind.

You were taken aback at your boyfriend wanting to stay behind but he smiled sweetly at you and stretched his arm out and pulled you close into his embrace.

You weren’t sure what to expect but he began chatting about nothing and everything involving Christmas. It put you at ease as you easily snuggled into his chest as you listened closely. It was when he brought up Santa again that you stiffened.

He looked down at you curiously tilting his head in that questioning way he always does. You decided to bite the bullet and tell him your secret after telling him he just looked at you surprised.

Even though he believed you were still awaiting the laughter that usually followed but it never came. Luffy got in your face which made you blush but he just smiled at you.

“It’s okay (Name)! Because I know he is real and it’s so cool that you met him!” He said excitedly which made you relieved.

A few nights later on Christmas eve you were awoken from a deep sleep and were dragged out of bed by your rubber boyfriend. The air outside was freezing as snow began falling over the island. you shivered but a blanket was quickly wrapped around your shoulders.

Feeling a bit better you gathered your bearings and looked to see Luffy’s smiling face illuminated by the moon and the surrounding snow. He was pointing to something in the sky.

It took a few tries but you finally saw what he was pointing at in the far sky. What looked like an almost miniature boat was being pulled a bunch of reindeer through the night sky. A gasp left you as Luffy laughed pulling you close to him as you both watched the man fly away into the night

Ace

Unlike his brother Ace had grown out of children’s fantasies at a very young age but because of having Luffy for a brother he always kept his thoughts to himself.

So seeing you frown at his teasingly talking about a group of kids excited about Santa coming to the crew made him question what about the comment made you upset. He was not the most reserved when it came to his honesty much like his brother so seeing you like that bothered him.

Of course you try to brush it off as nothing which makes him just angry which resulted in a rather heated fight between you both. It was so bad you didn’t speak for days nor did you sleep in the same bed.

As it got closer to the holiday Whitebeard decided to stop off at a winter island in the new world. Surprisingly it is your home island of all places you immediately leave the boat without even a second thought even with shouts of protest behind you. You are soon met with happy greetings from the villagers as they recognize you, you had not been home in several years so the reunion was a happy one.

Your family was very much happy to see you even if they were hesitant with meeting your new family. In the end it went rather well as you tried to avoid mentioning your boyfriend who you had yet to makeup with.

Unfortunately even if he was upset you had yet to introduce him he made sure to make himself useful to them in any way he could. Even when late into the night when the partying was still going strong, he got a few stories out of them about your youth.

One in particular caught his interest; it was about you supposedly meeting Santa as a child one Christmas years ago. How even since then you had believed what you had seen even into adulthood.

It finally clicked with him as to what had upset you so much he felt like an idiot and knew he had to fix it. Even if he himself did not believe you did and that went against his own moral code of not judging others about their beliefs and dreams.

Christmas Eve had finally arrived and he just finally got you alone in the dark of your family’s kitchen late into the night. The pent up emotions of the last two weeks finally got to you both, as you tried to get past him but he stopped you by grabbing your arm gently.

He was not the best at expressing his emotions even now, but for you he confessed how he knew what the issue was now. You froze but allowed him to finish his ramblings, afterwards you turned to him and also confessed you were sorry. As it wasn’t as he actually knew why you had been upset, he kissed you then in the barely lit kitchen with you flush against his warm body.

A sudden sound of bells ringing broke the spell on you both as you pulled away breathless and ran to the windows. Ace followed close behind as you both peaked out into the snowy night. There in the back of the home was a sled with reindeer attached to it along with a very large man clothed in red who hopped down from the sled and laughed at both your shocked expressions.

“Woah he really is real,” Ace whispered, making a grin spread across your face.

Law

Much like Ace he had to grow up quick at a young age so believing in something like Santa was never really an option for him.

Hanging around in Paradise for a while didn’t leave you many options to travel around in so a lot of your time was spent near the islands closest to Sabaody. While Law didn’t particular care for the holidays, you on the other hand took it upon yourself to decorate the submarine.

At first he was annoyed but he saw how happy it made you and how the others brightened up at festive decorations. So he let it go as he buried his face into his medical books.

The mere mention of Santa Claus has him scoffing and making remarks on how parents trick their children into believing in a false reality. His words stung and hit you hard as you tried to hide your disappointment.

Not wanting him to see you busied yourself with looking over the recent logs and documenting new plant life you had discovered recently. Christmas came sooner than you thought and your days were full of present wrapping and stocking up on food for the holiday.

Law knew something was up as you were quieter than normal and it bothered him but he did not push you for answers. He asked Bepo instead who didn’t have an answer for him either.

Christmas was spent on a remote winter island deeper into Paradise the crew deciding to ruff it on the island for the night. Bundle up tight everyone was happily drunk and playing in the snow around several large bonfires. You leaned against Bepo as he recalled a story from his and Law’s early days together to everyone.

Law was sitting across from you all as he huddled a tanker of what you presumed was some kind of cider. He occasionally met your eyes which you quickly avoided. Sometime later into the night you wandered a bit further from the camp wanting to see if you could see the stars.

You know he is following you and when he stands beside you as you peek through a cluster of trees. After several minutes of collective silence you finally speak your mind after an entire month.

“I have believed in Santa Claus since I was very young, mostly due to the fact that I met the man once. While many don’t believe me it was very much real that is the reason I was upset this whole month.”

Law says nothing as he leans against the base of a tree. “I know,” he starts as you look over at him. “I knew the second week it was obvious after connecting some dots. Anyways if that's what you believe, who am I to deny that for you.”

You subconsciously grab for a gloved hand of his and intertwine your fingers together as snow begins to fall again slowly.

You stood like that for some time and watched as the snow gradly came down more only for it to be broken by the distant sound of bells ringing into the still night. You both shared a look, before dashing for the camp where the yells and cheers of your crewmates got louder.

A feeling of excitement came over you as you reached the clearing to be met by the familiar figure of Santa as he was handing out presents to Bepo and the others.

You grabbed onto your boyfriend’s arm and looked at him happily as he just looked on in shock making you laugh gleefully into the cold night.

[drxwsyni]

Petrified (pt. 6)

Yandere Erasermic x f!Reader

SERIES MASTERLIST

a/n: So, I’ve got the rest of this fic planned out which means ideally, writing the rest of it should be easier. I’m so sorry for how long it took me to finish this part, I just had to figure out where I was taking the whole story first. Hope you guys enjoy this chapter!

A big thank you to those few anons who so kindly sent me some inspiration for this fic. I really appreciate the help, and it greatly assisted me in forming the outline to the rest of the story <3

*Sidenote*: Please let me know if you’d like to be added or removed from the taglist! Also, I’d recommend looking at the warnings listed on Ao3 for the whole fic. There’s a lot of them, and some of you might like the heads up for future chapters (it will have slight spoilers though).

5.2k words

Warnings: Reader experiences panic attacks, severe anxiety & claustrophobia, coercive behaviour

The progression of the night felt slow, but perhaps that wasn’t such a horrible thing―it allowed your mind to grow accustomed to the seemingly endless rambling of a certain blond. That, and you could appreciate the unfaltering patience of his partner, who like you listened dutifully and made the occasional response to whatever the voice hero had chosen to fixate on.

And surprisingly, the frustrating agreement you were quite literally coerced into began slipping from your recollection, at least for the moment.

You’d admit, the two men had some fairly captivating stories. It was becoming a sort of norm for you to idly exist alongside them while they spoke. As a civilian, and one with relatively no past experience when dealing with heroes or villains, you were more or less forced to let them take the reins on the back and forth between the three of you.

That is unless they wanted to talk about what flowers were best paired together, or the step by step process of tending to some particularly high maintenance plants. You assumed they didn’t, and stayed quiet in your ways.

And so time went on, you nestled into the corner of their couch in the small but comfortably furnished living room, the fuel burning fireplace giving off a warmth that settled the nerves that had been sent skyrocketing not too long ago.

For the second time that night, your eyes drifted to the clock hanging on the wall―6:52 pm.

In moments like these you were able to be thankful of Shouta’s perceptiveness, him following your gaze without you realizing his actions. It wasn’t until he voiced his own concerns of not wanting to keep you up too late that you had the realization of his observances.

Naturally, you had no qualms with the idea of your departure.

Hizashi wasn’t as accepting of it, being the overly affectionate person you hated him for, but he would always listen to Shouta before he did so with you. And with a stern glance and brief assurance, his own opinions gave way in favour for the erasure hero’s.

You tried insisting that calling a cab home was no issue, but you rarely got your way with the two, and tonight was not going to be an exception. That reality had you sitting in their car on the way back to your apartment, Hizashi in the driver's seat and still managing to find something to discuss. At this point you weren’t sure if you preferred the nearly deafening silence of Shouta’s company, or the never ending chatter of his partner, but that too was out of your control when you were seen off by the visibly exhausted man at the door just minutes ago, him favouring to remain home to clean up for the night.

The speakers were playing low, some unrecognizable channel broadcasting soft rock while you politely listened to Hizashi drone on as he drove the car through town. It had begun raining just before you left, the distinct but quiet noise of downpour hitting the windshield having a somewhat soothing effect.

It was greatly appreciated, when the sound of Hizashi’s voice was growing in intensity the more excited he became with the topic at hand. You didn’t have the heart to tell him to lower his tone, and so you did your best to contain any brief winces when the pitch raised just above a comfortable level.

When the sight of your apartment complex came into view through the rain splattered glass and street lights reflecting off the droplets, a deep sigh of relief escaped your lungs. Paying attention to the exuberant man after such a long and mentally tasking night was difficult, but somehow you managed to pull it off. You gave yourself some credit for surmounting the task, fully prepared to bound out of the vehicle to your awaiting bedroom the second the chance to do so arose.

The car came to a halt, Hizashi putting the gear shift into park outside the complex. You waited for the doors to unlock, getting ready to say your goodbyes.

You felt a warm hand rest atop your thigh instead, giving it a gentle squeeze.

“Before ya get going, I just want to mention one last time that what you’re doin’ at work really isn’t the best idea, sunshine. I know, I know―you like helping people with that cute lil’ quirk of yours. It’s just the whole thing isn’t treatin’ ya very well, you can’t tell me it’s something you’re really okay with keeping up.”

The leg that wasn’t being held down by the blond’s hand bounced anxiously―the action itself unconscious, and movements small to the point where he didn’t pick up on it. His gaze was hard set on your expression, and the raw concern in his eyes was only unsettling, the exact opposite effect it should have.

Salvation was just a few metres away, but with the car doors still locked, it might as well be in another country.

Your eyes trained on the passing cars at the intersection down the street, plastering the best casual look across your face. Inwardly, you prayed he couldn’t sense the way your heart rate had picked up to a racing pace, and the somewhat unsteadiness to your breathing.

“It’s hard, but the job is all I have. Not just for money, but I really do get satisfaction out of working there. And...while this isn’t really the first time I’ve had issues because of my quirk, I can’t just let it stop me from doing what I love.”

Without even looking at him, you could tell how much he disapproved. And you didn’t need the visual confirmation when the grip on your thigh got tighter, and the noise of breathy exhale sounded off next to you. “Sunshine, you’re only hurtin’ yourself. It’s not worth it to do that over a job.”

For once your eyes met his, only for a moment, with a small and brief surge of what you think may have been confidence. Could’ve been stupidity, either way it had you replying with an edge. “You’re one to talk, don’t people like you get hurt all the time for the sake of your job?”

There was a pause, and in that silence you feared for your life.

But then the blonde gave an amused chuckle, removing the hand from your thigh to wave off your confrontational remark. “It’s different for you, I’m supposed to get hurt if it means I’ll protect someone else. And even then, I’m ready to rock with a little help from my friends. My wounds are healed and then it’s back to business―your aches are long term. And for what? Those pretty flowers are gonna die no matter what ya do, no need to put yourself through it to give them a few more days of air time, honey.”

All you could do was smile, even though the condescending attitude was killing you in more ways than one. To drive your fake expression of positivity home, you mustered that awful customer service voice that you’d summon when having to deal with some less than savoury individuals.

“It’s not that I don’t think you’re right, Hizashi. It’s just...I’m really dedicated to my job, and I have been for a long time. I don’t think we’ll be able to agree on this, but that’s not a big deal.”

He gave you a lasting look, as if trying to find answers that he wouldn’t get from spoken responses. Dismissively, the blond shook his head, unlocking the passenger door. “Alright, alright. I’m not gonna change my mind on this though. And ya better hold up your end of the deal either way. I don’t think Shouta or I could take another scare from you so soon, got it?”

Oh, you heard him loud and clear.

You nodded in agreement, “Of course, thanks for the ride home. Oh―feel free to tell me if you have to cancel any of our plans if something comes up too.” Hurriedly, you were collecting your handbag that was strewn across your lap, reaching for the handle and pushing the heavy door open.

“Sure thing, hun!” Inwardly, you cringed for the thousandth time this night at his unwelcome pet names, giving a final smile before gently shutting the car door.

The sound of rain lightly coming down around you, with the damp heaviness in the air felt like an atmospheric and emotional reset. One that you needed―your pent up anxieties were ready to break through the walls you put up since the second you stepped out of your apartment. And you almost forgot about them too, the feeling of consistent dread becoming something that lingered alongside all your other emotions. It never went away, and it’s not that you stopped noticing it completely, rather you had to push it down to keep up a calm facade.

And now, you didn’t dare glance back in Hizashi’s direction as you made your way to the front entrance of the complex. Because he would see the look on your face, lower lip quivering, eyes watering and expression just barely holding it together.

The distraction of a normal conversation was ripped from your body, and the prospect of having to worry about balancing work as usual without looking like a liar came crashing down on you.

You could only hope that the walls were thick enough for your neighbours to be protected from the sounds of your sobs.

_____

Petals grew with a lively plushness, leaves sprouting a new sense of vitality. It was a beautiful display of plant life.

And you grew tired.

Your most recent purchase of concealer was doing a good job dissuading people from that fact however. Even after a long work day, it remained masking the dark circles underneath your eyes. Nothing changed for a while, except for the notion that you were getting better at keeping the drawbacks of your dedication out of the spotlight.

Arrangement after tedious arrangement, your quirk brought life back into the greenery like it always did. You only wished you felt as healthy as you looked. The sight of a blemish free and lively complexion as a result of your new makeup routine made you a little jealous, knowing the truth.

You never felt so concerned and drained over the reality of your general state before now.

Those two heroes wanted you doing what they thought was best for you, which they had no right to decide. And although you resolved in secret to simply put up a front of agreeableness, their demands still had an effect.

Paranoia was one of them.

Having them walk in on your work shift unannounced was a slim possibility, but it was a possibility nonetheless. Ideally, you would save the fairly high priced makeup for those impending weekend nights spent with the two. Yet, the prospect of either of the heroes catching you off guard, and quite clearly unchanged from holding yourself back, kept you reapplying the product day after day.

You went into the ordeal with high hopes, but with each passing shift your doubts only became more incessant. Going through the motions of what was normally a mindless routine became taxing, even just days after seeing the two. And so, when the time rolled around a week later to give them what was pretty much a progress report passed off as a friendly get together, it was difficult to maintain a straight face.

No amount of astonishingly good food, or engaging stories by the fireplace could take your mind off the question that by all means should pop up.

And it did―merely proving your conceptions of what they really had in mind for nights like these. For some ungodly reason the two sought to control this part of your life, one that if it weren’t for them might not be a big issue. Without the emotional strain, your body would be able to handle the effects of utilizing your quirk in a way that was manageable.

It was their fault you felt as if the end of a work day couldn’t come sooner, and the fumes of energy you retained nearly weren’t enough to get you home each night.

And yet, as they sprung the expected question upon you, demanding to know if you were following through with your end of the ‘agreement,’ they seemed none the wiser to your blatant lies.

Well, aside from the fleeting glance Hizashi sent to Shouta, which was promptly disregarded, you’d effectively averted another crisis. It was back to settling into the background of their company, losing yourself in their words for the moment where the questionable reality of the situation went over your head.

Perhaps if you grew closer to the heroes under normal circumstances, you wouldn’t feel so gut wrenchingly apprehensive whenever you caught yourself coming to greatly enjoy your time with them. It was like an internal betrayal―your body unable to disregard the oppressive behaviour they exhibited, while simultaneously longing to have gratitude for their hospitable nature.

By the end of the night, the semi-forced meeting had you feeling as drained as any work day would, and then some.

In fact, you never fully recovered from it.

You only got worse, the need to apply more concealer and muster everything in your being to force a smile on your face during the day being the bane of your existence. It was all because of them, and they didn’t even know.

If you weren’t so miserable, you could almost laugh at the whole thing. They were the ones urging you to take better care of yourself, and yet it was them who were keeping you from doing so. It’s not like you could just heed their words and stop using your quirk―your livelihood depended on it. Tips were hard to come by in your occupation, and the only reason why you earned so much was due to the advantage you held in the workplace.

The frustration was what had you crying yourself to sleep some nights, at least when you weren’t too exhausted to simply pass out the second your head hit the pillow. You began devising ‘what if’ scenarios that would only have to do with ways to avoid Shouta and Hizashi. Ways to weasel your way out of meeting up with them.

Maybe you could fake being sick? They would just come check up on you regardless.

Perhaps you could move to another city? You didn’t have the funds―and what if they followed you?

Why don’t you just ask them to end the agreement?

...Don’t lie to yourself, you’d rather lose your job than face that level of confrontation.

They were an active nuisance even when they weren’t directly in your life. And so when they were present in that sense, the feeling of unbearable stress only increased tenfold.

Hizashi was one for texting, the sound of a message alert from your phone instinctively triggering your heart to drop in your chest like a Pavlov dog. A painful reminder in the times you managed to free your worrisome mind from their unintentional torment.

And then there was the unannounced visit from Shouta on your way home. It only happened once before the next dinner night, but it was enough to break down the wall you’d built for the ensuing occasion that would hopefully protect your weak heart from shattering under the stress.

He walked you home, catching you on your way back from work. It was peculiar, to say the least. A hero as busy as him actively ignoring his duties to see a civilian who was in no danger whatsoever back to their apartment. You initially questioned him, and he blew off the concern with the defence that this type of occurrence was very much in the rage of heroics that needed to be done.

You weren’t in danger, but you might’ve been if he hadn’t showed up. It was a logical action taken by him, and you shouldn’t worry about it.

Shouta was quiet on his feet, and you might’ve thought he’d left you be if it weren’t for that distinct rustling of his capture weapon shifting as he walked next to you. He was a man of few words, and seeing you home didn’t require much conversation when he was simply doing his duty as a hero.

You arrived at the complex, safe and sound. Physically at least.

As always, you had to adjust from keeping your anxieties to yourself, to being so overwhelmingly aware of them in the privacy of your own apartment. The floodgates were opened, and bottled up emotions no longer had a need to stay hidden. Coming home was never supposed to be so painful, but it was when you were forced to spend it trying to calm down from the chance day.

_____

They let you make dessert for your next meeting. The both of them were deeply impressed by your skills, offering their own extensive words of praise.

Expectedly, it wasn’t enough to have them forgetting the real reason why you were there. You were thankful when Shouta asked how you were doing this time―he always got straight to the point.

But you ended up yawning midway through dismissing their concerns, and of course they pressed you on it. It wasn’t intentional in the slightest. You didn’t want to give away that your limbs felt like they weighed a thousand pounds with how tired you were. Or how your existence could now be chalked up to getting ready for work, going to work, and recovering from work―with a sprinkle of uncontrollable meltdowns on the side.

You told them it was getting late, and they had offered you a drink, so naturally you were a little tired from it. No big deal, right?

Of course, they said.

And so you went home not too long after, Shouta in the driver's seat, stoic and silent as ever. Maybe it was your hazed over mind playing tricks on you, but his demeanour felt...off. Like he wanted to say something, but was holding himself back. Perhaps it was for your sake, or he just assumed you were too worn out to really take whatever words were floating around in his head to heart. So instead he kept a close eye on you the whole way home, stealing concerned glances that you never met with your own gaze. He was tense―the white knuckled grip on the wheel gave it away.

Shouta never gave you evidence as to why he was acting as such, and you never asked him to.

_____

While you may have been growing accustomed to their presence even in the slightest, it didn’t stop your body from shutting down in the areas that you needed most.

Resilience was your strong suit in the time before meeting the two men. But life was testing you around every corner, and you were failing these tests with worse results each time.

It was Wednesday, the halfway mark in another week that felt all too long for you to be able to stomach. Unforeseen obstacles were becoming a norm lately. Making sure you were stocked up on enough caffeine so you didn’t black out, pinching yourself to stay awake in the slower times at work, consciously paying attention simple actions so you didn’t trip over your own two feet. Generally, it was the small stuff that was making your life harder alongside the more glaring issues you faced.

And now, the obstacle was getting home. It’s not that this wasn’t always a task in itself, but it never developed past the routine of ensuring you were heading in the right direction when your mind chose to wander.

This time you were sure the route you were taking was correct, but something was in your way.

Your ears rung at the high pitched sirens going off around you. The flashing lights of firetrucks, ambulances, and other various first responder vehicles lit up the steeped darkness of the night. A crowd had formed at the police tape line blocking off one side of the street, the group effectively taking up any space left to get by on the other side that wasn’t bombarded by emergency personnel.

The sight seemed like an insurmountable feat, especially in your state. Physically and emotionally drained, the gathering of onlookers stood as one of your worst fears and largest challenges yet. Whatever had earned such an audience was beyond you. Realistically, you needed only to regard the response it was given to know that whatever had happened, it was quite serious.

And it was preventing you from moving forward.

There was the shortcut to your left, one that’d worked for you before...until it didn’t. The warnings of Shouta and Hizashi ran through your head, bringing on a new sense of anxiety. It was just what you needed―the words of the two most intimidating men in your life keeping you from seeing yourself home in a calm manner.

You couldn’t take the alleyway. The only option was right in front of you.

Deep breaths.

It was only roughly twenty or thirty feet of crowd. Tightly packed, and relatively unmoving. You didn’t have the heart to rudely shove your way through the condensed gathering, fearing the looks of disapproval from those you tried to get past. And so you weaved through slowly, barely getting out a passing “Pardon me,” or “Excuse me.”

Distantly, you were aware that your voice was so small amongst the muddled conversations of strangers and still blaring sirens, that the probability of anyone hearing your forced politeness was slim to none. But the action made you feel better, even if nobody knew that you were having these concerns. At least you were trying to be wary of others.

But you didn’t get the same care in return.

Rudely, an observing civilian shoved you to the side, selfishly trying to get a better view. You stumbled into another body, earning a curse of annoyance for your clumsiness. With a racing heart hammering in your ears, you gave a distressed apology. It earned you no leniency.

You can block them out, just focus on getting out of here.

Another harsh force collided with your back, sending you to the pavemented ground. The feeling of your knees scraping against the harsh surface didn’t register. The notion that tears were welling in your eyes didn’t either. Only the sensation of panic, and the ability to simply breath becoming more difficult was able to surface in your consciousness.

You pleaded with your body to stand up, and somehow you did, no thanks to anyone around you who could’ve very well assisted you. Through the thickness of the crowd you couldn’t even see where the bodies dissipated. All you could do was blindly move forward.

Nobody cared about how overwhelmed you quite obviously were. Or at least that’s what you thought, not being able to completely tell, or ask for help to hopefully alert someone of your extreme discomfort. They only needed to remove their focus from whatever scene warranted so much attention in front of them for a second to realize what they were unknowingly doing.

And yet, of course nobody was that conscious of their own actions. Not like you, who even amidst the chaos of being shoved in every which direction still desperately tried to minimize your own damage. It was for the sake of those who paid no mind for your own comfort, you fearing whatever might happen if you didn’t.

The presence of so many people was suffocating. If you didn’t think you were claustrophobic before, you certainly knew you were now.

You were exhausted, stressed, partly injured―although that fact still hadn’t set in yet―and unbearably on edge.

And then you were out.

You don’t remember going through the motions, just that now your body wasn’t compressed by countless others. A few seconds went by and you felt your sense of balance come back to you. But you still felt nauseous, and in lifting a hand to your face you realized that you were crying, feeling the distinct wetness against your fingers.

Out of the need for mental self-preservation, your brain essentially forced you into autopilot. You found your legs moving away from the crowd, and down the route that would lead you home. It amazed you by the time you shut the door to your apartment that you hadn’t passed out. The way you still shakily sucked in breaths in quick succession hadn’t stopped, and your hands could barely keep steady as you fumbled with the locks on the door.

The work bag weighing you down was unceremoniously dropped to the floor, and you tiredly trudged to the kitchen table. Had you gone any longer without rest, you could’ve very well collapsed right there on the floor. Thankfully, you made it to a chair before then, burying your face into your arms that were folded over the table as you slumped against it.

Tired and weak sobs wracked your worn out body, and you let the steady stream of tears be soaked up in the sleeve of your hoodie. As for how your mind was fairing, you couldn’t really tell. Getting a grip on your wavering thoughts felt impossible. It was an uncontrollable back and forth between what had happened, and fleeting attempts to ground yourself.

That task of focusing on the present wasn’t something you could do alone, at least not at the moment. But the sound of your phone ringing could. Your heart stopped at the auditory intrusion, and hesitantly you pulled the device out of your pocket.

The caller ID had you relapsing, broken cries unable to be contained for a few seconds as you tried to figure out how to deal with this new and greatly unappreciated problem. Your eyes scanned over the buzzing and lit up device, reading over Shouta’s name repeatedly.

You let the call go to voicemail.

A moment of reprieve―and then the ringtone started for a second time.

With bated breath, you stared at the device. You could let it go to voicemail once again. You could blow it off as not being near the phone when you were inevitably questioned on the occurrence.

Or you could answer the damn thing now, and be done with the weight of the night.

On the final ring before the automated response kicked in, you pressed the ‘accept call’ button. In lifting the phone to your ear, the gruff and concerned voice of Shouta broke through before you could make any move to initiate the dreaded conversation first.

“Sorry to bother you, just checking to see if you got home safe. There was an incident in your area in case you weren’t already aware…”

The line went silent as you took a moment to collect yourself before giving a response.

You sucked in a deep breath, “I’m alright, thanks for calling.” The appreciative lilt in your tone was as genuine as you could make it. But the shakiness, the crack in your voice as you spoke―it was a dead giveaway.

“...Then why do you sound like you’ve been crying for hours? You need to tell me if something happened, (y/n).” Even with the way the phone call distorted his voice, the sternness still pierced your resolve as if he was standing right in front of you.

Your words were shaky as you felt a plethora of distressing emotions bubbling rapidly inside of you. “I said I’m fine, Shouta. You don’t need to―”

“Don’t lie to me. You know I’m only asking because I’m worried about you, alright? Clearly something’s wrong, just―tell me what happened.”

You wondered if he was aware of just how unfriendly he sounded while saying something like that. It was more so a harsh command for a response, rather than a gentle urge to inform him of your wellbeing. Like he was bothered with you trying to remain strong, and not burdening him with your problems.

That was your issue with Shouta―a hint of what you could only assume was annoyance lingered in his words where you were concerned. At least, that’s how it was when you were behaving in such a manner that didn’t comply with how he’d decided you should act. You’d seen him in a light that was enjoyable. When you first met him, or after he’d already chewed you out during those Saturday nights and thus no longer felt the need to pressure you on what truth you’d developed over your state.

Unfortunately, right now your state went against all those lies you told. An emotional wreck, beaten down by the hands of those too caught up in some captivating scene to take account of the consequences to their ignorance.

Determination was wavering in your mind, and if you didn’t end the call soon then the chance of making all the effort you’d put into keeping them from the truth would be for nothing.

“Really, everything is okay. Listen, I’m sort of busy right now…” You stifled a sob into a clenched fist, “I-I can’t talk at the moment, I’m sorry―I have to go.”

Your finger was flying to the ‘end call’ button as soon as the words left your mouth. His protests rang through the speaker, but exactly what he said was beyond you.

The line went dead, and your phone shut off. It clattered against the wooden table as you dropped it. Your hands lifted to rub the hot tears falling down your cheeks, full body tremors wreaking havoc as you remained seated.

In the silence of your apartment, your emotions settled into a static numbness. Your eyes remained trained on the table, mindlessly taking in the details of the wood’s grain. Whatever would happen as a result of you abruptly cutting off the conversation wasn’t a scenario you could formulate.

The screen on your phone remained black, and you made no move to turn it on. You never checked it for the time that was passing as you remained utterly drained at the kitchen table. Something in the back of your mind told you that yes―you could very well get up and go to bed. Or maybe you could bring yourself out of this empty feeling with a distraction.

You could even call Shouta back, perhaps apologize for behaviour that was out of your control...

...No, you couldn’t do that.

Possibilities of various actions presented themselves, and yet you remained unmoving. Your breath had steadied to a slow intake and outtake, disregarding the quivering that still persisted. You didn’t want to think about what had happened, so you didn’t think at all.

You settled into that state for an unknown amount of time. And it took a while, but slowly you could focus on the background noise around you. The air conditioner hummed from the vents against the wall, the thumping of footsteps from residents above you sounded off a couple of times.

Actually...there were more than just those few footsteps.

Still in a daze, you trained your weak focus on that sound. Distant, then coming closer. You turned your head to the front door of your apartment where they stopped.

Three loud raps against the frame. Firm, steady, and done with purpose.

Your heart sunk into your chest.

(End of part 6)

_____

Taglist: @roseloverofpastels @shinsous-eye-bags @tjhonoluluprezstitch626 @pekusofixus @riathearora @glitterypinkkitty @elektraeriseros @hadesnewpersephone @axolotleyeliner

[minty-malfoy]

milk and honey

• pairing: draco malfoy x fem!reader

• summary: when living feels like purgatory, you find heaven in the comfort of a lover.

• request: Hey i have a request. Can you write draco x female reader with a plot where she is totally pissed with life in sense where she has problems everywhere; school,home and draco is just being there for her and helping her through it. P.s: Include warm and comforting hugs and little pecks❤️

• warning tags: brief mentions of sensitive topics, but everything else is fluff

• word count: 1.2k

a/n: I wrote this at 2 am but I promise I tried proofreading at a more humane hour of the day. this is one of my older requests that I haven't gotten around to writing, hope you enjoy <3

Draco had just recently come to the bitter conclusion that— despite what you tell him— it didn't feel like you were doing alright. His hypothesis became factual on the days your eyes didn't reflect the smile on your lips, or on the days you huffed out more than once or twice, only to recoil into the grown habit of an "it's nothing"

Draco really did try to be an understanding boyfriend, in the sense that he never pestered, never once pushed a subject you were so persistent to avoid. He was stuck telling himself the same string of lies over and over, memorizing it like a mantra. That you were just having a bad day; that you'd talk about it when you'd feel ready, just like you promised; that you wouldn't carry lethal burdens on your own no matter how tempting it was to leave him out of your suffering.

But the moment he saw you arrive late to dinner with both eyes stained and puddled, he knew the predicament was no longer a fact— it was an urgency. One that he'd give anything in the world to eradicate.

You sat yourself beside him without muttering a single word, looking away to avoid the questions that would inevitably plunge out sooner or later. But they never came, instead being replaced by the warmth of a hand lacing itself into yours, fitting through the gaps of your fingers like a completed work of art.

That was how the two of you spent the rest of dinner, wrapped up in a comfortable and understanding silence. You didn't look at him, but you felt his hand never once leaving you, between sending slow soothing strokes down your back, holding your waist gently as he watched you nibble your food, or simply going back to hold your fingers in his.

No matter how concerned or hurt he was to see you miserable, Draco put in the effort of generously giving you a moment of time and space, he was determined to address the issue only when the storm inside you would have quieted down for all the rain and thunder to go away, so that this once, he could persuade you into telling him what exactly was bothering you this entire time. Then, better yet, put a permanent end to it.

By the time the two of you walked out of the Great Hall, he didn't walk you through the regular direction towards your common room, but instead led you to a destination you were yet to discover. It confused you, but you didn't object him slowly leading the way.

You didn't expect to end up in the courtyard, but here you were, in the hands of your concerned lover, accompanied by nothing but the night and the distant sound of crickets chirping.

His hands met yours nearly as fast as his eyes did, in which concern decorated both orbs like a christmas ornament. Icy greys glimmering just as bright as the moonlight, pulling you in to briefly discard all your troubles and worries for a moment, until he brought you back into the present with his words.

"What's wrong?"

The question was firm and delicate, overflowing with all the love he had for you. You realized you couldn't bear lying to him anymore.

"Everything." Your voice cracked.

It was almost visible the way his heart had dropped in his chest, but he didn't want it to be. This was about you, and only you. Anything else wasn't supposed to matter in the moment.

Before Draco could say anything or ask you to elaborate, the sound of your pent up pain surfacing into sobs attacked his auditory senses like a knife. He was frantic with concern and worry, trying to figure out how to make everything better.

"Oh, darling, come here," You let him pull you into his arms, more than willingly. You needed the warmth of his embrace and the constant feeling of his breathing against your cheek. He let you cry into his chest, one hand holding your waist tightly as if you'd disappear the moment he let go, the other tenderly stroking through your hair.

You cried and cried, letting out all the pent up tension, all the hurt you've been trying to hide from him. You wanted to talk to him, tell him how you've felt lately, but you weren't sure where to start.

"I just— I'm sorry, Dray. I thought I could deal with it on my own, but luck hasn't really been on my side lately."

He lets you finish before saying, "You don't have to, love. Let me help."

You don't respond for a few seconds, blinking once. Twice. Shedding the last few drops of tears swelling on your lashes.

When you begin to let it all out, he listens attentively, holding you in his arms, where your hands come to find refuge against his chest.

Life wasn't giving you the best set of cards to tackle it with, pitting you into horrible situations left and right. Whether it was the badly marked assgnments you've spent hours working on, or the turbulent relationship with your family back home.

For a moment, it felt frightening. To let all your fears and concerns be known, saying them out loud for the first time and making the words feel much more real. Let alone when it was to the person you loved wholeheartedly and couldn't stand to burden.

Yet simultaneously, it made the issues feel less heavy on your shoulders. You weren't sure how it was possible, but it may have been the effect of the peaceful night air, or perhaps Draco's effect on you. Whichever one it was, you couldn't tell.

You finally finished up with a quiet sniffle, snuggling deeper into his chest. "My parents haven't stopped lecturing me in their letters, this time. It just hurts."

Draco cups your cheek, tilting your head up slightly so that your eyes could meet his. "Darling, I wish you would've told me sooner."

"I know." You look down shyly.

He doesn't say anything, mostly because he's the type of person that believes love translates through actions better than it does through words. So he does exactly that, showering you in sweet little pecks that begin to form constellations on your skin.

His scent is soothing, more than anything. Familiar and comforting, just like how you'd describe the fragrance of one's home— or yours, at least.

But Draco felt more than just home. As though when you look into his eyes, you imagine catching glimpses of the land of milk and honey. His arms bring you to a place where clouds are made of cotton and the fields glimmer brighter than an emerald green. When you kiss him, everything ceases to matter.

"Would you like to stay the night?" He offers, brushing away the remaining wetness on your cheeks with his thumbs. "I'm taking you out on a date at Hogsmeade tomorrow. If you'd give me the pleasure, that is."

For the first time, your lips break into a smile at his words. "Yes, I'd very much like that."

The two of you stay there for just the slightest bit longer, wrapped in an invisible cocoon that promises nothing but an abundance of love and comfort.

• • •

draco taglist: @arossebyanyothername @kawaii-angelanne

[court-of-abs]

Update on “Maybe Tomorrow” [Final Chapter; Chapter 17]

Hello, hello my ducklings. 

It’s been nearly two years since I’ve last been on Tumblr and well over that time since I’ve written anything for my Elorcan fanfic “Maybe Tomorrow.” I actually just finished up reading a Court of Silver Flames and I remembered this page existed. 

As you all might’ve guessed, I never did finish writing that last chapter, or the epilogue, even. And while I no longer intend to finish writing that last chapter now, I decided it would be fun to post what I had written so far as well as a bulleted list for the ideas I had for the epilogue. Please keep in mind two things: this was written over two years ago and I’m not letting myself attempt to edit it (although I did read through it quickly) and there is a potential trigger warning: this chapter covers themes of mental health, therapy, and topics related to it. I’ll also be adding this warning to the previous chapter, as I feel in hindsight I most definitely should’ve included it.

This community and these books were my everything in 2017-2018. I was going through a pretty tough time then, and I am so so happy to say I’m doing much better now despite everything going on in the world. I still keep up with each series to this day (I even cried the BIG tears when I finished Kingdom of Ash) and it will ALWAYS hold a special place in my heart. 

Enjoy!! Let me know what you guys think <3 I miss and love you all, and I hope you’re doing well.

~

Naitivity. To herself, to her problems, to the pain flowing through her veins every step she took. That was why Saturday night had affected her so much.

In the almost nine years since their death, Elide had never acknowledged what had happened. She’d never grieved, barely faltered- she got away with it by not thinking about it, not talking about it. By not accepting the cards the fate had handed her, by turning a blind eye, it became so much easier to pretend it didn’t happen. It became so much easier to pretend she hadn’t changed.

Elide knew now that she wasn’t being strong for it. She was just being naive.

Elide wrapped her arms around herself and leaned forward to rest her head on the steering wheel of her car. She breathed, deeply, taking in the muffled sounds of students walking towards the front of the school- their voices, their laughter.

She smiled, then, thinking about what today was.

Then she frowned, thinking about what today was. The elections and then…

Another breath. In and out, just like the therapist had told her. Elide reached for her school books and swung open the door of her car, stepping out into the heat. She just needed to focus on today, just today.

And then, with the support of her friends, those that cared about her, she’d focus on the next. And the next, and the next…

Elide made it all of three steps away from her car when she ran into Aelin, Lysandra, and Manon standing by the rear of her car, their arms crossed and faces tight.

Elide swallowed and reached for the words she’d been saying over and over in her head for the last 24 hours. They were on the tip of her tongue-

“Manon!” Lysandra’s shout was cut off by Manon barrelling into Elide, pulling her into one of the most suffocating bear hugs she’d ever received. It was exactly what she needed.

“You scared the ever-living daylights out of us” she said into Elide’s hair.

Elide leaned her head on Manon’s shoulder. “I know. I’m sorry.”

Manon shook her head, and Elide watched as Lysandra and Aelin took a few steps forward, readying to pull Manon away should Elide need them to.

“There’s no need to be sorry, but Jesus, Elide, you just… disappeared after Saturday night. No one could get in touch with you all of Sunday, not even Lorcan.” Elide froze at his name. She mumbled another “sorry” into Manon’s shoulder and gripped her harder so that she wouldn’t notice.

“All right, all right” Lysandra said as she gently pried Manon’s arms off of Elide. “Don’t smother her.”

Elide smiled at her. “It’s alright-” and then Lysandra was gripping her in another extremely tight bear hug.

“Hey!” Manon shouted, scowling at Lysandra.

“You had plenty of time with her, it’s my turn now.”

“I got less than a minute-”

“Ladies” Aelin said, stepping between them. “This is about Elide right now, not you.” Aelin stepped towards Lysandra and Lysandra took a step away. 

“Don’t even try, Aelin. You’ll get your turn in a minute.” Elide giggled as Aelin sighed and took a step back.

Lysandra smoothed down the hair on top of her head and said, “Do you want to tell us what happened- after Saturday, I mean. It’s okay if you’re not ready.”

Elide smiled up at her, at all of them, and took a small step forward- Lysandra reluctantly loosened her grip.

“It’s true,” Elide swallowed, “what Maeve said about my parents. That’s all true.” She wrapped her arms around herself, tighter, remembering what Dr. Ren had told her.

“I’ve spent the last nine or so years of my life… in denial. My parents, when they died, they were all I had. I was horrible at making friends, and when Vernon became my guardian, well, you might imagine why he didn’t exactly give me someone to talk to. The SDD tried to get me to talk, to acknowledge what had happened. They worked tirelessly to try and convince my uncle that I needed therapy but my uncle doesn’t really believe in mental illness, of any sort, and I… it was just too much for me,” Elide tried to meet all of their eyes as she talked but the bareness of the moment forced her eyes down to the pavement, “I didn’t talk for almost an entire year after they died. I had no outlet for the pain,” her voice cracked on the word, “the utter pain I was going through. Eventually I learned it was easier to shove it all down. Everyone said that since I was young I would quickly get past it and I took that as meaning that I had to quickly get past it. And so I did everything you’re not supposed to do when trying to grieve about the death of your loved ones.” 

Elide gestured a hand to all of them, “I pushed people away... and I let the mention of the most amazing parents in the world become a trigger for my concealed anxiety and grief. And after Saturday, I couldn’t push it all back down after Saturday. And so nine years of pent up… everything came tumbling out.”

None of them spoke for a moment.

Then: “You talked to one hell of a therapist yesterday, didn’t you,” Manon said. 

Elide let out a nervous chuckle. “Yeah, he set me straight.” Elide said, tracing the lines on one of her textbooks.

“So you’re okay?” Lysandra asked, wrapping her arms tentatively around Elide.

“No” Elide said, “I’m actually far from it. But …” Elide cleared her throat and hastily brushed away a fallen tear. “That’s okay. I know that.” 

“Good” Aelin said. She reached for Elide, then, waving off a pissed Lysandra. “We’re going to be right here while you get through all of it, Elide. Absolutely all of it.”

“Thank you” Elide said, gladly accepting her third bear hug of the day. “And I’m sorry about how I reacted on Saturday, it must have been so scary for all of you. I’m really, truly sorry-”

“Don’t apologize” Aelin said, smoothing down her hair. “You don’t need to. What Maeve did was the definition of malicious, and you didn’t hear it but everyone booed her off stage after Lorcan rushed you out of the room.”

“I’m surprised they didn’t disqualify her from the race after that,” Lysandra said, and then she grimaced. “Gods I can still remember the look on her face-”

“Lysandra” Manon warned, “we all know she’s a bitch, but we don’t need to debate how much of one she is right at this second.”

Lysandra looked down at her feet and mumbled, “Sorry.” 

“It’s okay, really” Elide said. “I don’t mind talking about how much of a bitch she is at all.”

“Oh thank the gods” Lysandra sighed, rushing over to Elide and grasping her hand. “Let’s all go sit down somewhere and discuss this. It’s going to be a lengthy conversation- there is so much bitchy-ness about her that you don’t even know about it.”

“Are we really doing this?” Manon said, raising a single brow. “Doesn’t that make us a bit petty?” A snort from Lysandra.

They all turned to Aelin, but Aelin just shrugged. “What Elide says, goes.”

Manon’s jaw twitched and then she threw up her hands. “What the hell.”

Elide giggled as the four of them linked arms and walked towards the school together. Manon had been right- she had talked to one hell of a shrink yesterday. But she hadn’t just helped her sift through the memories, figure out how to deal with the pain.

Lysandra cackled at something Manon said, and Aelin smiled back at them, unrestrained.

No, she’d also helped her realize how amazing her friends were. And that was best part of all.

~  

If he couldn’t find her before the end of the day- he didn’t know what he was going to do. He just had to talk to her. He just had to know if she was alright.

His feet pounded into the concrete of the school parking lot... (I’m sorry I stopped typing here)

Here’s how I originally outlined the chapter (you can see some changes for when I actually sat down and wrote it):

Chp 17 Summary

Monday morning- day of election results. Elide is a mess. She hasn’t talked to anyone since Saturday night: this includes Lorcan. At school she’s confronted by friends and they’re all worried about her. They make up- Elide opens up to them about it. Lorcan clears things up with Rowan in the parking lot, they walk towards the school together. Then Lorcan comes over and asks to speak with Elide alone- they talk, and Lorcan gives her a new backpack (green like the carpet in the library). Asks if she could take care of Hellas for him- she says yes. They walk into the school hand in hand, knowing what they are and what they could be would have to wait for now.

Chapter Specifics

Outside of School

Elide sitting in her car again, contemplating the weekend. Reflective of first chapter- when she’s sitting there, not sure how things are going to go. 

Walks towards the school in a daze. Aelin & Co waiting for her a few feet from the school. Everyone is tentative but then Manon comes running over and gives Elide a hug. It’s just what she needs.

Elide says she’s sorry and opens up to them about her thought. They all just tell her it’s not her fault for any of it and they’re sorry that happened to her.

Lorcan & Rowan Meeting

Lorcan walking towards Elide when Rowan steps in front of him. The two tersely talk 

Flashback scene of sorts about what Rowan did for him the night before (Cain trying to goad Lorcan into a fight of sorts and Rowan stepping in)

at the end of it the two shake hands and are on good terms again.

Lorcan walks over to Elide and asks to speak with her alone. Bell rings for class to start but Lorcan leads them down a trail to talk.

He’s awkward until Elide leans up and kisses him. She tells him thank you

He gives her the backpack. Elide opens it up to find a copy of A Court of Wings and Ruin, and the picture of her parents protruding from it. 

Lorcan says he wishes he could have made her happy like that. Elide says he did. In the short time they had, he did.

Lorcan asks her to take care of Hellas. She says of course.

Elide leans up and kisses him again and says that she’ll always care about him. And maybe in the future they’ll be something (make sure you don’t rush this!!)

Lorcan starts stuttering and Elide shakes her head. She explains that as much as she cares about him, she knows how much the long distance thing will wear down on them- and that he needs to be his own person when he comes back to her.

Outdoors speakers announce that Aelin and her team had won the election as they approach the school building.

Elide walks into the school with Lorcan, prepared for the day ahead. And the next. And then the next, and the next…

Epilogue

I actually don’t have any notes for this (I THOUGHT I DID I’M SORRY) but I think I had it so that they bump into each other at Terrasen University or something like that and they start as friends but eventually begin dating and then get married in the library and the last scene is them at their spot in the library in their wedding apparel just holding each other (because I’m sappy like that)

Thank you all, again. Writing this was a pleasure and I could not have asked for a better community and support group

- Abs

[bnha-imagines-all-around]

Bright Future (Mirio Togata Headcanons)

Warnings: Fluff, pining, wholesome content

Request: “Hey there lovely! You’re doing an amazing job, keep kicking butt! Could I please request headcanons with Mirio? Basically the reader and him are bffs & the reader has a huge crush on him (he doesn’t know) and they have their work study together. Sir Nighteye accidentally uses his quirk on the reader & he sees that she’ll marry Mirio & they’ll have a son together & are pro heroes? Then Sir tells the reader what he saw and fluff ensues btw her and Mirio? thank you!!! ❤️ “

Author’s Note: I LOVED THIS REQUEST SO MUCH. It might be kinda long (sorry), and again probably reads like an imagine (I’m bad at headcanons), I got carried away cause I loved it so much. (On another note, I’m BAAAAACK, and boy have I missed writing. I’m gonna try my best to punch out the requests I have waiting so I can reopen my request box :D) 

- You and Mirio have been BFFs since you two pretty much met, y’all just get along so well and it feels so natural to be around one another all the time.

- Like seriously, you two were always together, giggling at jokes and talking about literally everything and anything. You did everything together, which was enabled by the fact that you and Mirio were in the same class and sat near each other. 

- You could not get Mirio Togata alone, nor (Y/N) (Y/L/N) alone, if your life depended on it because where one went, so did the other.

- Nejire and Tamaki had long since accepted you into their friend group; you were the secret fourth member of “The Big Three” (although it really wasn’t a secret because you were always around them and everybody knew about it).

- Almost as if expected, you eventually realized that the butterflies you felt in your stomach every time Mirio looked at you, hugged you, smiled at you or laughed at your joke weren’t a normal occurrence, nor were your longing thoughts of being in his embrace or your daydreams of how kissing him would feel and how badly you wanted it.

- Then, suddenly, it hit you like a bus; you had a MASSIVE crush on your best friend, your partner in pretty much everything in life, Mirio Togata. 

- You were apparently the last one to notice your own feelings, because Nejire just exclaimed “Finally!” and Tamaki gave you a small knowing smile when you divulged the true nature of your feelings for the personified ball of sunshine that was your best friend to them.  

- However, you couldn’t really bring yourself to say anything to Mirio just yet, so you decided to just act as if nothing had changed between yourself and Mirio, burying your feelings far, far down deep inside yourself and continuing just being best of friends that were joined at the hip. 

- You two were so joined at the hip that you both ended up doing your work studies at the same Hero Agency, that of Sir Nighteye.

- While Mirio excelled at his work study and grew stronger and became a better hero, you felt as though you were several steps behind him at all times. You felt frustrated and kept trying to train and work hard to improve but it felt as though no matter what you did, you wouldn’t improve one bit. 

- Plus, it didn’t help that you were intimidated and even slightly afraid of Sir Nighteye. He was so strict and could command a room like nobody’s business, you genuinely found yourself nervous and unable to meet his eye whenever he was in your proximity.

- As time went on, you were beginning to feel run down and exhausted of having to fake a smile every time Mirio told you of his progress or a vaguely positive comment Sir Nighteye had made about him during the work study.

- This exhaustion and pent-up frustration built and built and built until, one day, you couldn’t take it anymore.

- “You need to keep your focus, (Y/L/N). Even a single moment where you lose your focus and your opponent will gain the upper hand, and your fight will surely be lost,” Sir Nighteye reprimanded you as you once again got caught unawares during a training exercise. 

- However, this time, instead of replying “Yes, Sir!” and hopping back up on your feet as you usually did, you simply got back up slowly and stared down at your feet while staying silent, your cheeks burning with shame and frustration with yourself.

- Obviously, Sir Nighteye immediately picked up on the change in your behaviour because what you didn’t know was that he had actually been carefully observing you over the weeks you’d spent at his agency.

- Sir Nighteye could tell that you were becoming more frustrated and upset as time went on, and he could tell very easily that he made you extremely nervous and that you were intimidated whenever he was around. However, he could also tell that you were training extremely hard, even more so than Mirio, and that your skill set was, in fact, greatly improving. 

- Of course, Sir Nighteye also noticed how you were around Mirio and how you reacted to him. It was exceedingly obvious that you had feelings beyond friendship for the blonde young man, and Sir Nighteye couldn’t believe Mirio hadn’t realized it yet. 

- “We will try one last exercise today, (Y/L/N). Your last exercise will be a sparring fight, except your opponent will be me,” Sir Nighteye stated, pushing his glasses up as he stood across from you. 

- You felt your heart sink down through your stomach and land at your feet as Sir Nighteye said that, and your heart rate went through the roof. Sir Nighteye himself was testing you. That couldn’t possibly be a good thing, right?

- Sir Nighteye began to attack you, and you struggled to block each offensive move he made, but you tried to focus on him and predict his next move. ‘Focus, (Y/N)! Focus!’

- You were surprised to find yourself successfully defending yourself from Sir Nighteye’s attacks, but then you saw Sir Nighteye’s eyes change and you came to a startling realization; Sir Nighteye was now using his quirk on you to predict your next movements, upping the difficulty of your fight.

- And boy, the fight certainly got harder. You found yourself suddenly unable to block a single attack, and any attempts you made to be unpredictable failed miserably and you found yourself taking more and more hits. 

- Then, out of the corner of your eye, you saw a familiar mop of blonde hair appear; Mirio was watching your fight.

- Your heart leapt out of your chest and you glanced over at your best friend; Mirio was standing there with his arms crossed across his chest, his blue eyes studying you carefully. The familiar feeling of butterflies appeared in your stomach as you met his gaze for a brief moment.

- However, that moment was quickly over as you felt yourself become weightless, followed by you hitting the wall at full force; Sir Nighteye had taken your distracted moment to get you off guard and finish the fight. 

- You let out a cry as you hit the wall and fell to the ground. The fight was over, and you had lost. 

- Embarrassed and ashamed that you had lost the fight against Sir Nighteye, in front of Mirio no less, you simply laid motionless on the floor. You couldn’t bring yourself to get up and your exhaustion and frustration and pain took over your body completely.

- “(Y/N)!” You heard Mirio cry out, but you couldn’t bring yourself to look at him or say anything to him. Your cheeks turned bright red with shame as you tried to move, but you couldn’t. Your eyes stung with bitter tears and you felt as though you were completely drained and just couldn’t do it anymore.

- “Come on, (Y/L/N), up on your feet now.”

- You were surprised to feel yourself being helped up to your feet, and even more surprised when you realized that the person who was helping you up wasn’t Mirio, but Sir Nighteye himself, and that he was speaking to you in a way that was stern but somehow also... kind. 

- “Come with me to my office, (Y/L/N). I need to speak with you.” Sir Nighteye’s tone gave away nothing of whether this conversation was to be a good or bad one, which increased your anxiety tenfold. 

- ‘Oh, no. Oh no, this is it. You’ve done it now, (Y/N), you’ve officially screwed up so bad that you’re losing your work study. You idiot. This is all your fault,’ You thought to yourself, and you could feel yourself trembling as Sir Nighteye helped you to his office. You couldn’t bring yourself to look at Mirio either as you passed him and instead kept your head down to try and hide how afraid and ashamed you felt. 

- Once you were in Sir Nighteye’s office, he gestured to you to take a seat at his desk, which you did, clasping your hands tightly together in your lap and you looked down at them, still shaking from the whole ordeal. You could feel your heart beating frantically in your chest, to the point where you felt nauseous from anxiety.

- Sir Nighteye sat behind his desk directly across from you, studying you carefully for a moment before beginning to speak.

- “(Y/L/N), it has become clear to me that you have been having difficulty with your training.” At this, you visibly winced, but you still said nothing. Sir Nighteye continued speaking, his voice quiet but solid, “However, I believe that you are unable to realize that you have been progressing and improving just as much as Mirio has, if not more.”

- That caught you by surprise, and you looked up at your mentor so quickly that you cricked your neck, “S-Sir?”

- “Yes, (Y/L/N). You see, I have been keeping a close eye on you just as much as I have been on Mirio, and your progress has not gone unnoticed. You are working exceptionally hard, yet you seem to be getting increasingly frustrated with yourself. Why is that?” Sir Nighteye asked, watching you carefully as you thought of your reply.

- You had to fight not to let yourself vomit out every feeling you’ve had over the past couple weeks, so you slowly spoke, “I... Well, Mirio has been working so hard and I feel like nothing I do compares to the progress he’s been making. No matter how hard I work or train, it feels like I’m not improving or getting stronger or smarter or better. I... I feel like I’m never going to be as good a hero as he is.”

- Sir Nighteye stayed quiet for a few moments, taking in what you had said before deciding on how to reply, “(Y/N)...” You glanced up at him, taken aback by the fact that your mentor was suddenly using your first name as he did with Mirio, but Sir Nighteye simply continued, “You cannot compare your progress to that of Mirio’s. You are not Mirio and Mirio is not you. I know that the two of you are best of friends, but you are not the same people. Your progress is different and will always be different from his. You have improved greatly, if not more so than Mirio in such a short period of time.”

- You couldn’t believe that the Sir Nighteye was actually giving you a pep talk. It felt surreal given that you came in expecting to be let go from the agency. “Sir, I-I don’t understand. I thought you were going to terminate my work study. Why did you ask me here to discuss this?”

- Sir Nighteye stood up from behind his desk, pushing up his glasses once again as he answered you, “Thank you for your amusing response, (Y/N). No, I am not terminating your work study. You needed encouragement, but I also need to discuss one other thing with you. You see, I know that you have feelings for Mirio that surpass friendship.”

- Your jaw just about hit the floor when you heard Sir Nighteye say that, and your whole face turned a violent shade of red as you began to stutter, but Sir Nighteye simply continued speaking, his tone not unkind, “It’s alright, (Y/N). There are no rules regarding those feelings here at my agency. But you mustn’t allow yourself to be led astray or be distracted by those feelings. As you saw today, even the slightest moment of distraction can be deadly, regardless of the cause of distraction.”

- You blushed again and looked down at your hands in your lap once again, faintly mumbling an apology or something vaguely resembling an apology, which caused Sir Nighteye to chuckle lightly, “No apologies are required, (Y/N). Just learn from this experience and strive to be better. I believe that you need to find a way to remove Mirio’s presence as a distraction in order to excel in becoming a Pro Hero.” 

- Sir Nighteye fell silent for a moment, quietly contemplating for a moment before speaking once again, “Perhaps one way to get the distraction out of the way would be to tell Mirio how you feel.”

- Upon hearing that, you audibly choked on your own spit and had a coughing fit, causing Sir Nighteye to laugh quietly while you attempted to compose yourself.

- “I-I can’t just tell him, Sir, I-, how could I-? N-No, I mean, I-I don’t even know if he feels the same way!” You sputtered out, struggling to regain your composure and stop the colour from continuously rising to your face. There was no way you could tell Mirio how you felt. You didn’t want to lose the amazing friendship you had with him. You didn’t want to lose Mirio. 

- At that, Sir Nighteye gave you a small smile before coming around to stand beside you, placing his hand on your shoulder, “Perhaps I ought to tell you, then. During our sparring match, as I am sure you realized, I made use of Foresight to increase the difficulty of the match and to test your abilities. However, I confess that I, too, got slightly distracted when you yourself became distracted by Mirio’s arrival. I lost control of Foresight and I accidentally jumped ahead and I saw a glimpse of your future.”

- You stared up at your mentor in disbelief, and you simply nodded, encouraging Sir Nighteye to continue telling you what he saw in your future. ‘There has to be a reason why he’d encourage you to tell Mirio that you have feelings for him, (Y/N). He must’ve seen something! But what did he see?’ 

- “You see, (Y/N), I witnessed a glimpse of you returning from what I assume was a mission. I am not sure how far into the future I saw, but what I know is that it seems as though you will become a very successful and amazing hero in your own right, alongside the man who will become your husband. In that glimpse of your future, you were returning home to your husband and your son. You were and will be happy and successful and loved. You’ve got a bright future ahead of you, (Y/N).”

- Your eyes widened at Sir Nighteye’s description of your future, and you felt a goofy little smile appearing on your face as you thought to yourself, ‘I’m going to become an amazing hero! And I’m going to have a family!’ However, you were missing one last piece of the puzzle.

- “Sir? B-By any chance, did you recognize the man in your vision?” You asked softly, trying very hard not to grin like a huge idiot in front of your mentor.

- Sir Nighteye just smiled down at you before walking over to the door of his office to allow to you leave. However, before he opened the door, Sir Nighteye turned back to look at you as you stood up, the smile still on his lips as he stated, “Yes, I did, and that man is waiting anxiously for you just outside my office.”

- With that, Sir Nighteye opened the door and allowed you to exit his office. You were stunned by the information he had given you and were struggling to understand it, as well as the realization that Sir Nighteye was seemingly a bit of a hopeless romantic himself, as you walked out.

- When the door closed behind you, the realization of what Sir Nighteye had meant by that hit you full in the face when you saw Mirio sitting on a bench down the corridor little ways off from Sir Nighteye’s office, clearly waiting for you. 

- ‘O-Oh, my God. It was Mirio. Sir Nighteye saw Mirio. Mirio became my husband in his vision! That’s who he saw! Mirio likes you back, (Y/N)! That’s why Sir Nighteye recommended you tell him how you feel!’ The little voice in your head practically screamed with joy at the realization, and you found yourself smiling goofily to yourself. Today was turning out to be a better day than you originally anticipated.

- “(Y/N)! Are you alright?!” Mirio sprang to his feet and sprinted over to you when he realized you had come out of Sir Nighteye’s office. You felt as though you were floating on a cloud, and you had to restrain yourself from grabbing Mirio’s face and practically crashing your lips onto his, or just straight up screaming “Yeah I’m fine, Sir Nighteye just told me he saw us as a married Pro Hero couple in my future so yeah, I’m doing great!”. 

- “H-Hey, yeah I-I’m alright. Just shaken from the fight, I guess,” You replied, your cheeks gaining a light dusting of pink as you chuckled slightly, “I’m sorry you had to see me get my butt kicked by our mentor.”

- Mirio just gave a small laugh at your comment before enveloping you in a big hug, squeezing you gently as he did so, “It’s alright, (Y/N). You sure put up a heck of a fight! I wish I were as good as you, even Sir looked impressed by your skills!”

- You just giggled as you returned the hug, burying your face into Mirio’s chest. “I’m not sure I agree with you there. Plus, no matter how impressed he was, Sir still did not hold back on the butt-kicking because I’m sore from head to toe!”

- At that, Mirio withdrew from the hug slightly so he could look down at your face. You felt your heart speeding up as Mirio gently brought his hand up to cup your cheek, his thumb gently stroking your skin before turning your face from side to side slowly. “Thankfully, it looks like you didn’t get injured. You scared me, you know? When you hit the wall and then fell and didn’t get up. I thought you got knocked out, and I wanted to make sure you were okay. I would’ve been there to help you up but Sir beat me to it.”

- You thought that you heard slight bitterness and regret in Mirio’s tone as he said that last sentence, so you just put your hand gently on top of his on your cheek, even daring to interlace your fingers with his as you smiled up at him, “He just wanted to give me a pep talk, surprisingly. Sir noticed that I was being super hard on myself, constantly comparing myself to you and wishing I could be half as good a hero as you are. I honestly thought Sir was gonna terminate my work study, but turns out he’s secretly a big softy and just wanted to encourage me.”

- Mirio’s eyebrows shot upwards in surprise as he looked down at you, “What do you mean, (Y/N)? Sir would be crazy to terminate your work study! I mean, I wish I were half as good a hero as YOU!” At that, Mirio suddenly looked down as his voice softened, “You’re kinda my inspiration, you know?”

- You could’ve sworn you saw Mirio’s cheeks turning pink, and you mustered up all the courage you had in you to stand up on your tippy toes and press a gentle kiss to his cheek, which resulted in a darker blush spreading across Mirio’s cheeks and a grin appearing on his face. 

- “You’re my inspiration, too, Mirio. Now, how about I get cleaned up and we head back to UA? I think a movie night is in order to make up for me getting my butt kicked.”

- Mirio practically beamed at you as he nodded, and a couple moments of comfortable silence passed between you two as you both looked down to realize that you were still holding each other’s hand.

- “C-Can I keep holding your hand? As we head back?” Mirio asked, his voice suddenly quiet as he stuttered slightly, his cheeks once again turning red. You just smiled up at him as you gave his hand a slight squeeze, “I’d love that.”

- Mirio’s smile quickly returned and the two of you started to head back to UA, hand in hand and side by side as you both began to talk about your days, completely comfortable with this new development. 

- Both of you felt that something had finally shifted between the two of you, that at last something more than friendship was happening, and neither you nor Mirio could’ve been happier. 

- This was exactly what both of you had wanted, and at last, something was finally starting to happen, and it was all thanks to Sir Nighteye.

[writingsbychlo]

more ways than one (05)

word count; 5015

summary; the pressure of looking after everyone else all becomes too much, and you snap, but there’s someone there to look after you this time.

notes; make sure to check the warnings for any triggers!

warnings; vivid descriptions fo panic attacks, major anxiety references, mentions of death and threats.

It had been a while since you’d had a chance to go back and see the man you were hiding away. You knew he’d be okay, you’d stocked up the house with snacks, over the past few weeks you’d taught him how to cook basic meals for himself. He seemed to be going through the books lining Derek’s shelves faster than you would have imagined, but then again, he had to fill his days with something.

He was catching on fast. Fast enough that you knew he’d be perfectly fine alone for a week, but you didn’t feel good about the amount of time that had passed. You had spent what had remained of the summer break visiting every day, or every other day in the minimum, and as soon as school had come back, things had caught up. Your studies were fine, but yet another supernatural threat was pressing down on you all, and now there was someone hunting down supernatural creatures around Beacon Hills, almost all of your friends at risk.

A week. A week had passed since you’d last been to visit, and you feared for the mood the man would be in when you returned. He’d opened up to you, enough to have small conversations here and there, but you hadn't progressed much further after his session with answering your questions all those weeks ago. Derek had called, extending his trip with Cora until Christmas, and so a weight had been lifted off of your shoulders in that you didn’t have to find him somewhere new to stay. 

One less thing for you to worry about. 

You had spent the day with the pack, running over scenarios and situations as you tried to find results, only to come up with dead ends. You were at the end of your tether, there was nothing you could do. As a human, you were for once the safest in the group, you and Stiles not being hunted, and yet everyone else was. You hated it, you hated how useless you felt, and you couldn't even bring yourself to hide the frown on your face when you unlocked the sliding door to the loft and entered the large space. 

The sound of a thick book snapping shut and stiff material creaking under the movement of a heavy weight greeted you, and you found V popped up on his elbows, a book sitting on his chest as he peered at you from the couch, brows furrowed and eyes narrowed on you.

“Thought you might not come back this time.” 

His voice was low, and you let out a deep sigh, shaking your head and running a hand through your hair as you dropped your bag from your shoulder down to your hand, carrying it over to the couch with you. He moved his legs as you made to sit down, swinging them over the edge of the sofa and making room for you to sit down beside him. You flopped back into the cushions, turning your head to look at him and he raised his eyebrows curiously, placing his book down and sitting up fully, enough to scoot closer to you across the couch. “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to be.”

“I’m not going to leave you, I’m just overwhelmed at the moment.” He hummed in response, before picking his book back up and opening it to it’s place. You weren’t sure what you had expected, he wasn’t well-adjusted yet, and you weren’t exactly seeking comfort, but you’d expected a little more from him than just being ignored as he went back to his book. 

Digging through your bag, you pulled out your notebook and placed it on the table, open to the page with all the notes you and Stiles had scribbled down while working through problems earlier. However, no matter how many times you went through your bag, you couldn't find the pen you had been using, and suddenly, you could see it in your mind’s eye, tucked behind your best friend’s ear where he’d placed it before picking up the phone when Scott had called.

You let out a loud sigh, cursing under your breath and tossing your bag aside, dropping your head into your hands for a second and growling under your breath, the noise muffled by your palms, but still perfectly audible to the man you sat with.

“Are you okay?”

“Do I fucking look okay?” You hadn't meant to snap, and he looked taken aback by your outburst, his brows furrowing as his lips twisted down in a frown, your jaw tensing as you dragged your eyes away from his in guilt, searching across the room and finding a pent sitting on the stacks of books, next to a journal you’d left him a while ago to practice learning to write with, and he followed your gaze to it. 

Picking up the instrument, he slammed it down on the table before you, nimble fingers pulling back as he jerked away from you like you were a flame that had burned him. “All you had to do was ask.”

The comment made you want to shout again, anger and frustration from the day bubbling up inside of you, and your eyes squeezed shut as you tried to control your rage, instead trying to work through the issue before you, trying to work out the passwords for the list of prices and names for those being hunted. 

The evening continued much the same, as the hours passed on you found everything becoming too much. You were stressed, and overly tired, days of barely sleeping taking it’s toll on you as your tether wore thin. Everything from the scraping sound of the paper each time he turned the page, to the sound of Derek’s obnoxiously large clock ticking away was making you even more irritated. 

His leg had been bouncing, twitching like Stiles’ would and you’d told him to stop, you’d told him to move up because he felt too close to you, and now he was sitting on the floor. He’d accommodated every silly whim you’d presented him with, and yet you still couldn’t help the growl that came under your breath as his fingernails absentmindedly scratched at the denim of his jeans as he read his book. It all became too much, and you slammed a fist down onto the table, everything a top it rattling as he jumped and looked up at you.

You were fixing him with a hard glare, and for this first time tonight, and in a long while, he fixed you with the same chilling look that had been his default expression when you’d first saved him. “What now?”

His teeth had been gritted as he spoke, and you scoffed at his attitude, shaking your head and crossing your arms as you looked at him. “You’re making this scratchy noise. It’s annoying me.”

“Everything I do seems to be annoying you, tonight.” You grumbled at his comment, pinching the bridge of your nose and you heard him hum to himself, flicking the page of his book extra loudly in protest. “If it’s so awful being here, why don’t you just leave?”

“Excuse me?”

“Leave. I didn’t ask you to be here. I’ve been perfectly fine alone, in all the days you didn’t have time for me.” He muttered the final words, and your eyebrows shut up, getting to your feet and placing your hands on your hips, trying to intimidate him as you towered over him but he got to his full height, and suddenly you were looking up at him as he glared down at you, now feeling much smaller than you did a second ago. 

“This is my friend’s place, I’m looking after you! You should fucking leave!”

“And go where? I didn’t ask you to save me! If I’m so much of a burden to you then you should have left me for dead!” The comment made you swallow down thickly, but electricity was zapping through the air with each comment thrown in raised voices and angry shouts between you both, and the fire burning in his eyes only fuelled you on, no matter how much you knew you may regret your words.

“Maybe I should have! It would be a lot fucking easier for me!” His eyes darkened as he looked at you, jaw sealed shut before he schooled his face into a more neutral expression, and his ability to wash your emotions away only added wood to the burning rage within you.

“Do you really want me to leave?”

“I want you to get out of my fucking face is what I want!” You dropped back down onto the couch, hearing him huff out a ‘fine’ as he moved around the room, and you watched him go, shaking your head and rolling your eyes as he dramatically pulled open the loft door, leaving it ajar as his footsteps sounded on the stairs, disappearing into silence as he left.

A cold breeze swept in, cooling your fiery temper, and you shivered to yourself, the room suddenly feeling much larger with just you in it, and you felt increasingly more lonely as you looked around. Stretching out your muscles, you made your way over to the door, sliding it shut just enough to keep the coldness of the night out, and you felt guilty, knowing that the man had stormed out barefoot in just a t-shirt and a pair of jeans. 

Your attention turned back to that of trying to solve your benefactor issues. Your mind was spinning, your stomach grumbling, and after another half an hour of wavering focus and drifting thoughts, you resigned yourself to making food. It wasn’t until halfway into your prep of the meal that you realised you had accidentally been making enough for two, instinct having taken over, and you sighed as you dished up your own, before leaving the other half int he fridge as leftovers. 

Eating along gave you time to think about what you’d done, and you stabbed at the meal, eating slowly on rapidly cooling food as your appetite dwindled, replaced by nauseating guilt that twisted sickeningly in your guts. You washed the dishes and placed them on the rack, hiding in the kitchen, hoping that if you hung out in there long enough, that when you came back through, V would be back, scowling at you from his seat on the couch. 

In a bid to occupy your mind, you made your way back to the couch, curling in on yourself as the thin blanket that kept you warm was no longer providing warmth, instead, leaving you feeling as though you were going to catch as chill, and over an hour had passed by since your friend had left, someone you had pushed away instead of letting in, and tears welled in your eyes as you thought about your other friends.

The words on the page seemed to blur the longer you looked at them, and you squeezed your eyes shut, a heavy and hot tear dripping down onto your cheek, and you were quick to wipe it away. You slammed the notebook shut, pulling your legs to your chest and burying your face in your knees, willing back the tears threatening to spill. You were clinging to yourself, rocking back and forth as the silence of the room took over, and you felt like you were sinking, drowning, entirely alone. 

You made the split decision to get up, your body barely reacting in time with your movements as you stumbled to your feet, sniffling and blinking back tears as you dragged the door out of your way, not even bothering to close it again before you were searching the building, top to bottom in a weak hope that you may find the man hiding out somewhere as he waited for you to calm down, but you had no such luck. You searched through the outside, wandering so far away from the main building that you had to use the torch on your phone to just find your way, shivering violently by the time you returned alone. 

Your skin was cold to the touch, coated in goosebumps from raised hairs as your teeth chattered, and your arms were wrapped tightly around your own body. The only warmth you had was from the tears slowly tracking down your cheek as you cursed to yourself, rubbing at your nose and your eyes, skin sore from salty tears you’d released. 

Your breath felt like you were gasping by the time you were stumbling back into the loft, your heart racing, beating almost painfully hard against your ribs, though everything felt like it was in slow motion. You felt weak, your body giving way beneath you as you sobbed, clawing at your chest to pull breaths in, and you couldn’t find a blanket for the life of you. You knew Derek had them here, and your hands were shaking, so much so that as you searched through the boxes and drawers you were practically ripping them from their shelves, leaving them turned over as things clattered to the ground. 

You couldn’t save your friends.

You couldn't save one person you found in the street.

You couldn’t even save yourself.

Your knees hit the floor painfully loud, the thud sounding through the room as your hands laced into your hair, tugging at the roots form your stress as you collapsed to the floor, everything around you seeming to blur away as your oncoming panic attack gave you struggles to even breathe, to wound up to even be able to see your surroundings anymore.

It was too much, you were just one person, you were a teenager. Your main concern should be what to wear to prom, whether you would have a date and which colleges to apply to. Every morning you woke up you lived with the constant fear that today may be your last day, that you may have to hold one of your friends as they died and that you may not be able to do anything to help them, that you may lose someone else.

Your phone lay across the room from you, and a brief thought of clarity to call Stiles, or Lydia or Scott, to call any of your friends flashed through your mind but it was dead, too far to reach in your weakened state and drained of battery from being used as a torch even if you did manage to reach it. It felt like everything was against you as your vision faded from the lack of oxygen you were getting into your lungs, your mind spinning on loops, making you feel both sick and dizzy. 

Your body curled in on itself on the cold concrete of the loft floors, a chill sweeping across your skin, and you could barely focus when you turned, finding yourself on your back and staring at the high ceilings. A hand found the back of your head, honey brown eyes peering into your own as you were scooped further up. He was kneeling beside you, legs flooded under himself as he lifted you up a little, and your hands found fistfuls of his shirt, pulling him closer but simultaneously pushing at his chest.

“Y-Y-You left! You a-actually left!” Your words were stuttered out, and he ran a hand over your cheek, eyes wide as he gaped, no idea how to help you, and so in spite of all your struggling, he simply pressed your cheek into his chest, holding you tight to him as you tugged on his shirt. “There are n-no b-blankets, and y-you left!”

“You told me to leave!”

“I didn’t r-really want y-you to!” Your words didn’t make sense, and instead, you just pushed your face into his neck, sobbing into his skin as he held you close. He was stiff and tense, but his arms were wrapped around you and you were clutched to him tightly. 

Eventually, he moved, scooping you up under your legs and holding you tightly to him, his legs a little shaky as he carried you over to the couch, settling back into the cushions with your body still wrapped tightly around him. 

When your sobs calmed a little, his fingers brushed over your arm, soothing you with the patterns until your fingers undid from his shirt, sitting flat on his chest, one pressing over his heart, feeling it pump steadily under your palm, and your head was cushioned against his shoulder when you pulled back enough to get fresh air. 

“You told me to leave.”

This time when he spoke, his voice was barely a whisper, and you swallowed thickly, sucking your lower lips between your teeth and nibbling on it for a moment. You opened your mouth, willing yourself to reply, but only a broken sob left you, your eyes dry as you were all cried out, but sadness once again surged your system. 

He squeezed you tightly once again, his hands stilling, fingers spreading out wide as he held you. “The blankets are stacked in a box beside the door.” You let out a weak laugh, raising your head just enough to look at him, and his lips flicked up at the corners. “You were talking to yourself.”

He shifted you to lie you down on the couch, a yawn on your lips as he padded across the room, fishing out one of the familiar knitted blankets you recognised so well, before he was making his way back over to you, tucking it around your body carefully. He took a seat beside you, and you shuffled, resting your head on his thigh as you let out a shaky breath, your eyes closing as you finally relaxed. “Y’know, I’m supposed to be the one saving you.”

His response was whispered to you, sleep already taking you over as you warmed back up and relaxed happily, one of his hand’s lifting up just enough to settle delicately on his own legs beside your head, his fingers sweeping over your cheekbone. “Maybe we save each other.”

Sleep soon took you over, and you drifted off with the feeling of fingers brushing through your hair, tucking stray strands behind your ears until you were drifting off into unconsciousness, a well-needed sleep. Your body refused to wake until the sun was beginning to peek up over the horizon once again, almost ten hours having passed you by when pale colours were painting the skies as a new day was ushered in.

You jolted upright when the fog over your mind cleared, finding yourself jerkily rising up. There were indents in your cheek from where you’d slept, the man slumped uncomfortably, half keeled over as he dozed, and he slumped further down into the cushions once you left, the weight distribution changing as he huffed in his unconsciousness and rolled over. 

You shrugged the blanket from your shoulders, smiling to yourself as you looked down at the man, draping the soft woollen material over his body. Crouching beside him, your fingers brushed the hair from his eyes, and he pushed his face into your touch sleepily, your hand pulling back rapidly when his eyes opened, fluttering just enough to peer at you tiredly.

“You’re leaving again?”

“Yeah, but I’ll be back this afternoon.” His lips flicked up at the sides, and he opened one eye fully to look at you, the other closed, and if you weren’t mistaken, there was an almost cheeky glint in his opened eye. 

“Promise?”

You huffed out a laugh, nodding your head. “Yeah, I promise.” You told him about the food you’d left for him, and he nodded, soon drifting back off to sleep, your keys in your hand as you tried to shake yourself off for the drive home. 

When you got home, you had taken a shower and changed your clothes, plugging your phone onto charge before getting yourself some breakfast, before calling Stiles to check in with him. He updated you on their progress, because apparently, they had all been working all night too, and had made a little new progress with which or update you on. There were three lists in total, a second banshee from Eichen house had been recruited to assist, and you jotted down everything else, a hand running through the tangles in your hair. 

You packed a bag, collecting up some books and a spare charger to leave at Derek’s another hoodie that Stiles had left at your house and forgotten about that you could wear for now, and give to V later on.

Something had shifted between the two of you, something radical had moved between now and last night, having fallen asleep with the man, letting him ease you back from a panic attack, the air surrounding you both felt different. You were almost anxious on the drive back to see him, your fingers tapping against the wheel as you sat outside for a good while, before eventually shaking yourself down for your unnecessary fears, grabbing your bag from the back of your car and taking them up to the oft with you, choosing to prolong your time by taking all of the stairs, giving yourself a chance to talk.

When you opened the door, you found him looking over his own shoulder, back to the mirror hung up on the wall as he tried to reach his cuts, his shirt in a puddle on the floor, and his head whipped around to look up at you as you closed the door. He fixed you with a bright smile - almost dazzling - upon seeing your return to him. 

Your anxiety slipped away, and you raised a brow, watching as he bowed at the waist to scoop up his shirt and tug it back over his head. You waved the bag at him, showing him the contents, and his eyes lit up as he spied the collection of books hidden within. 

“You brought me books?”

“I brought you the Harry Potter books. They’re very good, and I love them, so don’t fold the pages. I also brought you a bookmark.” You dropped the bag down onto the couch, and he lingered a few feet away from you, and an oddly comfortable silence falling between the two of you. You weren’t sure whether to speak about what happened the night before, or whether to leave it, whether you should thank him again or not. 

He broke your train of thought, the wringing of your hands that you hadn't realised you were doing came to a pause as he spoke. “I ate the food that you left.”

“You worked out how to use the microwave?”

“That what?” The two of you were staring at each other with furrowed brows, and your lips parted, silence settling between the two of you, your heart clenching for him when you realised he must have just eaten it cold, and you made a mental note to teach him how to reheat food, later. Your phone rang, the shrill sound of Stiles’ particular ringtone snapped you from your thoughts, and you fumbled into the pocket of your hoodie to find it. 

“Hey Sti, what’s up?” 

The man across from you stood quietly, moving forward to pick up one of the books, and Stiles took off in an explanation about a breakthrough they had found, the smile dropping from your face as you listened to him. Tapping the front cover of ‘The Philosopher’s Stone’, he took that one, giving you time to talk as he settled on the couch, and you shot him a  reassuring smile, before wandering away into the kitchen for some privacy as the joyful expression dropped from your face. 

What had felt like a vacation for a very short while, a brief period of happiness, was once again coming crashing down around you. They had passwords to unlock the lists, and your foot tapped against the floor as he updated you on new information that had come to light. At some point, your feet had just felt too heavy underneath you anymore, and so you were leaning against the counter, your body shaking as you listened to Stiles read off the names of your friends, and who was worth how much. 

He promised you it would be okay, that you were all doing the best you possibly could to do protect them. You suppressed the sob that wanted to rise in your throat, telling your best friend just how utterly powerless you felt, and he did his best to reassure you. Once he had hung up, you placed the phone down beside you, covering your face with your hands, squeezing your eyes shut as your body trembled. 

You weren’t sure how long you were stood there, nor how loud your phone conversations had been, but you didn’t lift your head again until your name was called from the doorway of the kitchen. You were shocked, he’d never used your name before, you knew he may have caught it from the conversations you’d had, and because you’d never formally introduced yourself, you were surprised he’d learnt it at all. 

He had a hand on the top of the kitchen doorframe, practically filling the space as he looked at you carefully, and you wiped under your eyes, smiling carefully and pushing your phone into your back pocket after lifting it from the counter. You avoided his eyes, clearing your throat of the lump that had formed, before wiping your clammy hands on your oversized hoodie. 

“How far into the book did you get? End of the first chapter yet?”

Your eyes barely flicked up to his as he ignored your words, taking a step towards you before you were looking up again. Your eyes were lined with tears again, and his shoulders slumped as his brows raised, expression morphing into that of a silent question and you swallowed thickly. 

“My friends are going to die and there’s nothing I can do to stop it.”

Your voice cracked at the end of your sentence, and he closed the gap between you both, one arm wrapping around your body as the other cupped the back of your head pulling you into him softly. Your knees all but buckled from the compassion he offered you, and you’d been held like this by Stiles many-a-time, but something with V was different, it was more, and you couldn’t tell why. 

It wasn’t a burning warmth or a consuming passion, but instead, it was simply a flicker of possibility, the idea that maybe he would come to mean something to you.

He held you up, for as long as he could, before his hands were once again scooping up under your legs to lift you up, and a weak laugh left you, fighting through the tears as deja vu washed over you. He sat down, placing you down beside him, his arm wrapped low around your waist, your legs across his lap as your cheek pressed into his shoulder. His free hand came up, carefully wiping your cheeks free of the tears flowing from your eyes. 

He didn’t ask, he didn’t make you talk, not once.

Instead, he held you, picking up his book and balancing it on your stomach as he began into the second, and third chapter of the book you had brought him. By the time he was ending the third, you were beginning to squirm in his arms, wanting to move without disturbing him, and so he placed the bookmark into the fold of the pages, closing it and placing it down beside you both. 

“You keep looking after me.”

“Someone has to look after you like you looked after me.”

“And that’s you?” You shuffled, moving to look up at him as he shifted, not looking down at you but instead moving to press his cheek to the top of your head, silently tucking you under his chin.

“It could be.”

You hummed, nodding your head quietly and stretching out your arms. Getting yourself up, his hand on your back gave you an assist, pushing you to your feet and resting on your back to keep you steady as he watched you, and you spun on your heel, new happiness and joy filling you as an idea came to mind. “How about a movie and a pizza?”

“You’re staying?”

“Do you want me to go?” You watched him, a genuine smile on his lips as he stood up beside you, your hands fidgeting in front of yourself, a single brow raised, and he took your hands in his to steady them, much like you had done to him several times over the past few weeks as he’d revealed more and more to you about his history.

“No. I don’t. I like it when you’re here with me.”

“Cool.” You grinned, taking one of your hands from his and fishing your phone from your pocket, pulling it up and opening an app to order a pizza. 

“Cool.” He repeated, and you laughed under your breath, shaking your head at the way the word sounded so odd coming from his lips. You moved ordered you both some food, just enough to fill you up, before you were moving away to find the television remotes and instructing him to fetch some drinks from the kitchen as you unfolded the blanket from last night. 

In a split-second decision, you caught his wrist in your hand as he went, turning him around as he looked at you quizzically, and you bounded up on your tiptoes, pressing your lips to his cheek. A barely present kiss was left on his skin, your mouth barely brushing his cheek, but the tip of your nose followed as you fell back down onto your feet and turned away from him to the television in order to choose a film, not missing the small smile on his lips that was mirrored on your own. 

[sanghyukstattoos]

I'm sure of that. Dawon stans, show up here! 🙋🏻‍♀️ About your requests open, this is the best news ever 😍 So, let me think... What about something cute, I don't know well, maybe a cuddle night with a sweet make out session? Or a late night date watching the stars... Something like that. I'm lacking with my ideias these days, so feel free to improve it. And thank you ^.^ 💟 - 🦋

Date night 

Pairing: Lee Sanghyuk I Dawon x Reader 

Genre: Fluff

Words: 2699

Summary: Today, the heart- warming memories of how you two started dating came back to you and while work may not have been the best, it sure felt like the right day for a date with your loving boyfriend, Sanghyuk. 

A/N: Heyyy 🦋, I’m sorry for making you wait once again but here it is! *Presents proudly* I loved your idea and had such an amazing time writing it. Also, I’ve been receiving support on my other fic ‘Warmth’ and I’m really thankful for that so here is another fic that I hope you can enjoy!

Dates weren’t uncommon between the two of you but suddenly reminded of how much you love him, there had to be a date for a date somewhere in the near future. Since you started dating during the summer of last year, tooth- rotting fluff between the two of you made you shy. The kind of shy where you would smile widely but look away and try to force it off your face. You were embarrassed at how he made you feel so you tried to hide it and send subtle signs hoping he would get the hints.

Unfortunately he didn’t because anytime you would flirt, he would do the same under the guise of friendship. Ripples of frustration made its course through you and one day, all your pent up feelings splashed like a bucket of paint hurled across canvas. You didn’t go for the obvious options of screaming, shouting or crying but just kissing him. Pouring all your feelings into one kiss, relief flooded through you and the desire to hug him overcame you but holding back you hoped that at least this time he would be able to return your feelings. That is exactly what he did and ever since then, the both of you have been going strong. 

In the past couple of weeks there had been changes in your work. A change of leadership and office politics not only made the atmosphere tense but working with your team was hard. Back straight and unbiased smiles towards everyone, you made sure to do an excellent job of not getting involved in any drama. The outcome would be greater than getting involved however, it was eating away at you and you could see that the same was happening with your co-workers. The less the issue was treated, the more difficult it became to solve it. 

Break time came and you were about to leave when a buzz caught your attention. It may have been a passing moment’s worth of information travelling through your visual field but you knew it was him. 

Picking it up, you read, ‘’Hey, how is work? Are your co-workers still having that fight 😂😢’’ causing a smile to light up your face. 

Laughing, you texted back, ‘’Hey, work is still the same. Oh yes, they definitely are and this is making everyone antisocial 🤧 Feels great to be here, you know💀 How is your work?’’. 

Collecting your coat and making a headway for the elevator, you exited the building and walked towards the café opposite- not an unusual place to meet up with colleagues from different departments. 

Opening the door, you were greeted with the distinct smell of cinnamon and pecan nuts. Your eyes caught your friends sitting at different tables. They look like a bunch of students gossiping but the difference is that it’s over coffee. You smiled at the thought. They instantly recognised you and waves were exchanged. Making your way to the table and taking a free seat, a senior spoke, 

‘’I heard that there are some plans underway to build a building at the back’’ to which someone else replied, ‘’Is that where all the resources are going? We need more hole punchers though, because someone seems to be stealing all of them.’’ eliciting laughs from those at the table. 

Your phone buzzed back and opening the message, you read, ‘’Oh nooo, is my baby having a hard time? Don’t worry, some things take time so cheer up and hope for the best~~. Also, I’ve been thinking, since you need a break, why don’t we go on a date?’’. 

Your heart skipped a little at the mention of a date and you texted back, ‘’Ah yes, your baby is having a hard time T_T. Is there a small chance if any, for me to scream on the rooftop tonight? Thank you, I’ll be here waiting 🙋‍♀️ A date sounds super refreshing right now and I wouldn’t mind the idea ~^~’’. 

Online now he texted, ‘’Hehe, you’ll get plenty of hugs when you get home. Very funny or did you forget that we don’t have a roof? Obviously you didn’t so do you think our neighbours will call the police, they think we’re are crazy people already..’’

Resisting the urge to laugh, you replied, ‘’I don’t even know who our neighbours are, should I just call it a half day and head home? Time and place for our date?’’. 

‘’That’s cute ;) I’ll pick you up but at what time do you finish today? Also, I don’t remember our neighbours being scary or anything like that 😶. This one’s a bit random but one day, just one day, lets sleep in. The place is a surprise and no, it doesn’t matter how many times you budge me, I won’t tell you 😘 ‘’ came his reply.

Looking back up from the screen and sipping your coffee, you decided that you had a decent amount of time remaining. 

You texted him back with, ‘’I finish at 5:30 today, what about you? I could meet you at home if there is a lot of waiting time. It’s a bit random ahaha, I wouldn’t mind sleeping in and plus we could do it on a Friday so we have a three-day weekend. Because you won’t tell me, I’m super excited now. You may get into trouble if I call you right now but just wait, when we meet I’m going to shake it out of you😊’’. 

You could picture him laughing a little on the other side as he replied, ‘’I finish at 4:15 today so I’ll pick you up and don’t worry, it’s only a little bit of a wait. I love how we are scheduling a perfect time for us to be lazy and you know what? That sounds absolutely amazing to me right now so tell when you want to do that. Also, my lips are sealed 🤐 🤗 ’’. 

Excited for the date, a small smile reached your face as you texted back, ‘’I’d love that too so tomorrow let’s schedule it together. Alright, I guess I can wait for up to 6 hours 😑 I can’t wait to meet you though, see you soon.’’.

‘’Whoever said 6 hours is long? I can already see you frowning at the mention of that 😂 😂 . Anyways, see you soon babe’’ you read and pocketed your phone with the thought of a date lingering at the back of your mind. 

Break ended within the span of a couple of minutes and exiting the café, you made your way back to work. A small sigh escaped your lips thinking about the workload but you straightened your back and walked confidently pursuing the idea of dedicating these hours to doing what you loved the most. Even if it meant dealing with the tension, in hindsight, the office would most likely joke about it after it ended so until that time came, you just had to wait. 

Sitting at your desk, you took in a deep breath preparing yourself for whatever was to come. Powering through the work felt satisfying, if not, at ease because not only did you get most of your work done, it was almost the end of the day and you could finally see your boyfriend- the moment you had been waiting for. 

It had always been like this as the day was fun but the most exciting part was leaving knowing that you had done what you came for. In the elevator, your senior from another department walked in. Recognition flashed across your faces and you greeted one another but subtly, you felt nervous.

 Your co-workers absolutely, and you meant absolutely spent all day dreaming about how fit this man was. You couldn’t have disagreed more, nudging Sanghyuk forward as more fit even though he wouldn’t admit it even if his life depended on it. ‘’You okay?’’ he asked and you looked up, wondering what was happening. Small talk?. Nodding, you asked, ‘’You okay?’’ sealing the awkwardness in one question. After this you highly doubted any more words would be exchanged. 

Nodding, the rest of the ride was in silence and after exiting, the both of you parted ways like a middle parting hairstyle. Reaching for the doors, you kept a lookout for Sanghyuk’s car spotting it almost instantly. Inside, you could see him on his phone so you knocked hoping to scare him just a little bit and scared he was. Laughing as you opened the door, he placed a soft kiss on your lips, whispering a small, ‘’hey’’. Mouthing ‘’hey’’ back, he asked, ‘’Are you ready?’’. In excitement you replied, ‘’I’ve been waiting for this moment all day, so let’s go!’’. He laughed at your enthusiasm and you joined in, feeling content. 

‘‘By the way, you never told me where we’re going!’‘ you spoke suddenly, startling Sanghyuk. Ahahaha, he thinks I’ve forgotten, but forgotten I have not. ‘’Why do I feel like this is the start of you badgering me for information?’‘ he said as he laughed, rubbing his forehead. Nodding, you smiled replying, ‘‘Do we even know each other?’‘ drawing a laugh from him. 

‘‘Thank goodness the place isn’t that far away then’‘ to which you asked, ‘‘How far is it?’‘ knowing that wherever this place is, it was going to be at least half an hour away and that was enough time to break the surprise. ‘‘Forty five minutes’‘ he replied with a pink tint to his cheeks making you squeeze in delight. ‘‘Please tell me you can wait for that long’‘ he stated, making me look out the window and laugh. His eyes widened as you grabbed his hand in yours and you could tell from the look on his face that he was suspicious. 

‘‘You’re always doing something like that you know, like poking me or what not so honestly, I’m scared right now’‘ he said with a rush and almost immediately followed with, ‘‘Babe, I’m driving’‘. Suppressing the urge to tickle him, you wiggled your finger threateningly in the air as if to intimidate.

 Unimpressed and with the flattest look in his eyes, he stated, ‘’Bring it on. I’m just thinking right now, what’s the worst that could happen?’’ but you knew that his weakness was being ticklish, something you would love to voice loudly on speakers. Giggling, you raised it and dashed it as close to his suit jacket as possible, retreating when he smiled at your antics. Using a childish voice he said, ‘‘Cute’‘ dragging the end as far as the wide ocean and this time, it was your turn to be unimpressed. 

‘‘Wow, that’s mature’‘ which led him to give you an offended look. Bringing a hand to your mouth, you laughed to which he replied, ‘‘Coming from you?’‘. ‘‘Excuse me!’‘ you spluttered and the both of you sat there laughing. He shifted the position of your hands onto your lap and on the open road, the trees and the house passed by in a blur. If you looked back, the speed slowed down and everything was much clearer and resting your head on the headrest, you took in the fresh sandalwood scent of the car’s interior while the warm rays of sun ran across the dashboard as the ending of the trail led to his hand on the wheel. The backdrop a blur, your eyes traced the lining of his nose bridge all the way to his jawline, admiring his relaxed face. 

It wasn’t exactly a wonder but in the span of less than forty-five minutes, the sky had begun to darken. A pink and purplish hue descended mixing in with the darkness of the blue night sky. Among the low moon, the stars that littered the sky caught your eyes and this was the first time you had paid attention to the beauty of the sunset speaking gently, ‘’The sky is so pretty today’’. 

Looking up, he sucked in a sharp breath as he took in the stunning sight. ‘’It is’’ he said in agreement. Breaking the comfortable silence that enveloped the two of you, he stated with joy in his voice, ‘’We almost reached by the way’’ peaking your focus on your surroundings. 

‘‘Not a lot of people come here so we should have the place to ourselves’‘ he said, turning left and finding a parking spot. Stepping out, the wind blew calmly like the sea breeze at the beach- welcoming and pleasantly. Coming around the side, he hugged your hand in his own and tenderly tugged you along. 

‘’Where are we?’‘ you asked looking up at him with wide, honest eyes. ‘‘Somewhere where you can relax. A colleague recommended this place so I’m just as new to this place as you are.’‘ he ended with a twinkling laugh. Adorned with tiny, green plants, the pathway wasn’t lit but there was just enough moonlight for the both of you to walk up. From the distance, you realised how much wider the place actually was.

Sculpted, a dark green hedge was accompanied by dome- shaped, glossy bright orange flowers that could be seen even as night approached. It acted as an entrance and replaced all the signs welcoming confused visitors. Leading you towards a bench, the two of you took a seat side-by-side. He left your hand and instead wrapped an arm around your shoulder pulling you to rest your head on his chest. 

‘’Are you cold?’’ he asked and you shook your head disagreeing. ‘’You were right, this place is really relaxing. Thank you for thinking of me and bringing me here’’ you said in appreciation. Moving his right arm to the side of your head, he turned your head so that you were face to face with him. Eyes, a warm shade of dark brown, he connected his lips with yours.

Sweet passion fruit and milk chocolate, the sky blue hydrangeas bloomed; in the distant ambience of the place, a bird took its first flight, soaring. Carefully and softly, your lips moved with the flow of his lips which feel velvety and delicate. Leaning away, the both of you took a breath as he said, ‘’You know those people who you just click with? As in, you become their best friends and they become special to you. So always- I will always think of you.’’.

Your hands moved up to his face and capturing his cheeks, your lips met his. Connecting for the second time, he felt just as sweet as the first, like every kiss you had shared. Endearingly, he managed to daze you each time reminding you of the shiny and sugary glaze on doughnuts, simple and classic. 

Smiling, your hands moved to smooth his hair which really didn’t need any smoothing but you felt the need to press his face in between your hands. Slyly you said, ‘’I think I like you, like a lot’’ to which he chuckled and said, ‘’I like you a lot too so stay with me’’. ‘’I’m not going anywhere, I’m just here to bother you’’ you replied with a giggle and facing you he incredulously asked, ‘’Did you just ruin-?’’.

Laughing while shaking his head, he pressed a kiss to the side of your forehead making your cheeks turn pink. When you returned the kiss, he questioned, ‘’What was that for?’’ and looking at his flushed cheeks, you smiled at the accomplishment. ‘’Just so, for once, you can feel how you make me feel’’ you replied with a bright smile. 

Hand to his chest he acted like his chest was hurting and breathing hoarsely said, ‘’Slow down’’ making you laugh a little. Settling down, your head went back to lean on his chest. Fingers gently pushed your hair out of your face; you moved your arms to envelope his torso, feeling the toned lines. Lying in his embrace, the two of you sat and watched the stars.

 Therapeutic, your relationship was something that you looked forward to everyday because apart from seeing one another, new adventures and exciting thrills came your way. Ultra realistic stills of your time with him were printed and couldn’t be easily forgotten so together, you took baby steps, one day at a time.

[smooshjames]

forget you not (ii)

your voice a serenade and it sings to my heart (or: concerts, closure, and an la sidewalk)

word count: just under 4k

a/n: part 2 of forget you not is here! again, i didn’t write any of the songs mentioned herein; all credit for the music in this story goes to little mix. links as always to the songs mentioned in this part: x, x, x, x. if you like what i do, consider buying me a coffee! it’s never obligatory but the support would certainly be appreciated. if you can’t/don’t want to donate, don’t worry about it!! i’m just grateful people take the time to read my work!

warnings: more angst teehee, an obscene amount of italic text

previous part: here

Your break seemed to pass in no time, and then it was time for mic check. You noted Courtney and Shayne sitting in the front row and wondered silently if God was punishing you for something you’d done. Maybe this was karma from a past life.

Doing your best not to look at him, and pushing down the absurd hope that he’d be looking back at you if you did, you went through mic check as quickly as possible and made your way back into the safety of the dressing room. With mic check done, the concert would begin in less than an hour, and you were starting to reconsider singing Towers. The front row of the arena was close enough to the stage that you’d be able to see him even with all the stage lights, and you weren’t sure you could sing the song if you had to actually look him in the eye while you did it. It was one thing to know he was in the room, another entirely to actually watch his reactions.

But Carly had already gotten Michelle to coordinate with the sound people and the backup dancers, and you didn’t want to have to force them to go back on all that. You couldn’t back out now.

That knowledge weighed on you up to the start of the show, and then you got your game face on. You had no time to dwell on Shayne once you were out of the dressing room, doing warmups as you made your way to the lift below the stage, performing your pre-show ritual which involved some call-and-response singing and a lot of hugs, and then getting into position on the lift which would bring you up from beneath the stage floor.

You could already hear the audience cheering and talking, and you felt your heart skip a beat at the sound of it. You counted out the beats in your head as the intro music started, the lights began to flash, the dancers got into place, and the lift began to rise.

“Make way for the G-O-double-D-E-S-S.” The mantra of your newest album, and the way you began your show. The band harmonized this phrase a few times before the song, and the concert, began in earnest.

It went well. You were right; you could just make out Shayne’s face even through all the stage lights. But for the first few songs, you were so occupied with remembering your choreography and making sure you sounded good that you could sort of forget he was there.

And then it was time for Towers, and your heart fell into your stomach.

“We’ve got a little bit of a treat for you tonight,” Alexis said. The audience quieted slightly as she spoke, obviously wanting to know what she was talking about. “We’re gonna take it back a little bit. We haven’t sung this live in quite some time, so forgive us if it’s a bit rusty.”

You heard the familiar drumbeat of Towers begin to play. The audience started screaming immediately, obviously recognizing the song right away, and you grinned despite your nerves. For the time being, you managed to keep your eyes off of Shayne. You focused instead on Carly as she began to sing the first verse of the song.

And then it was your verse, and you stared out at the sea of nondescript shapes that made up the majority of the audience; you could only see the first few rows before they became dark, vaguely person-shaped forms. “It’s a shame, you’re to blame, ‘cause once you owned my heart,” you sang. It sounded a little wobbly, but overall it was okay.

You made it through the first line of your verse before your eyes betrayed you. You couldn’t stop yourself any longer; you looked at Shayne.

He was staring directly at you. You couldn’t make out much of his expression, but it seemed… pained, like he was sad.

The sound died in your throat and you heard the audience murmur as you stopped singing. You looked from Shayne to the rest of the audience and then to Carly, who was nodding in an attempt to be encouraging. You took a deep, shuddery breath, frantically trying to get your shit together. You could hear the audience trying to help you by singing the lyrics you were missing, and you were vaguely aware of Alexis and Piper holding their microphones out to the crowd in encouragement, but everything was sort of blurry.

You kept your eyes locked on Carly. You would not look at Shayne. You couldn’t. You knew that he was hearing you, and that would just have to be enough. You opened your mouth to sing again.

“I still feel love when I see your face, but all these tears I can’t erase.” Luckily, you had only missed a couple of bars of the song and were able to pick up just about where you had left off. You hoped the audience would just chalk it up to what Alexis said before the song started; it had been a while since you’d sang Towers live. “Sorry heart, I’m sorry heart but we’ll have to start again.”

And then, like an angel from heaven on high, Piper began to sing. You had a momentary reprieve to collect yourself and take a deep breath. Since performing this song was so impromptu, there was no choreography for you to remember, nothing to think about as Piper sang her bit.

The second chorus was yours, and you weren’t sure what came over you but you looked at Shayne again as you began to sing and this time, you didn’t stop. You didn’t look away. Maybe it was all the pent-up emotion finally being released, or maybe it was just the energy in the room making you braver than you might’ve normally been, but you held his gaze through the chorus: “you never brought me flowers, never held me in my darkest hours. And you left it so late that my heart feels nothing, nothing in towers. Once we were made like towers. Everything could’ve been ours, but you left it too late, now my heart feels nothing, nothing at all.”

You felt a tear drip down your cheek as you sang, but you forced yourself to push through it. You were sure the audience had probably noticed the shaky quality of your voice by now.

You continued to look at Shayne while Alexis began singing the bridge. You thought you saw him reach up and wipe at his face like he was wiping away a tear, but that was probably a trick of the stage lights. It had to be. Why would he be crying?

As the final chorus began and Piper belted out her high notes, you watched him in sort of a daze. He reached up to swipe at his cheek again, and then he stood up and started walking toward the exit. You lost him in the crowd almost immediately.

If that was what closure was supposed to feel like, then closure was pretty fucking useless.

***

The evening air hit Shayne like a freight train as he stumbled out of the arena and into the night. He took in a gulp of air and wiped at the tears on his cheeks, letting out a pitiful noise of frustration and anguish. He sat on the edge of the sidewalk. He bowed his head between his knees, ran his hands through his hair, and tried to remember how to breathe.

It had been going alright, all things considered. He felt a little bit like he was getting the shit beat out of him as he watched you grind on backup dancers and sing about love and moving on and strength and how you didn’t need a man, but other than that he’d been having fun; the show was good, not just from a musical standpoint but from a technical standpoint as well. He could tell that you and your bandmates had put countless hours into learning dance routines on top of singing everything, which was really impressive. Costumes and special effects made the show feel complete.

And you had been utterly ethereal, silhouetted by stage lights and grinning as you walked around the stage like you owned it. It had seemed, for a while, that you were having the time of your life. That you’d forgotten he was even there.

Your bandmate -- Alexis or Piper, he couldn’t be positive which -- said you were doing an older song, and Courtney reached out to grab his forearm like she’d just won the lottery. When the intro started playing, she shot out of her seat to sing along. For the first few seconds, it was fine. Just another song.

When you started to sing, though, you looked at him, and he felt his heart ripped from his chest and stomped into the ground like it meant nothing. You seemed so sad, so angry, so accusatory. And you had every right to be, he knew.

But it was when you stopped singing, when you made that little sound that he knew meant you were about to cry, it was then that the room slowed and shrank around him. The air was punched out of his lungs and he couldn’t seem to get any more. He felt like his world had gone off-kilter, like he was careening at lightspeed into the sun.

You tore your eyes away from him and looked at Carly, who nodded at you. You seemed to find your voice again, and oh, it was like fire curling out from his ribs and up into his throat. He was utterly transfixed by you; he couldn’t look away even as one of your other bandmates began to sing.

“You never bought me flowers,” you sang, and you were looking at him again, all that sadness and fire behind your eyes. He felt his throat spasm around a sob, felt his eyes burn. “Never held me in my darkest hours.” God, you were right; he’d fucked up so monumentally. “And you left it so late that my heart feels nothing, nothing in towers.” This was when the tears started to fall.

The rest of your words were sort of a blur. All he could focus on was your eyes boring into his.

Eventually, he couldn’t take it anymore. He stood up and rushed out, and now here he was, close to hyperventilation on a gross LA sidewalk.

His phone buzzed in his pocket. It was Courtney asking where he’d gone, making sure he was okay. He typed back that he had just needed to get some air. He was grateful when she didn’t reply.

In all honesty, he wasn’t sure how long he sat on that sidewalk. He didn’t want to go back inside. He wasn’t sure if he could see you without dissolving into tears all over again. He wanted to go home; or, even better, he wanted to go to Damien’s and cry on his couch and eat ice cream until he couldn’t think straight. But he knew Courtney would be worried and disappointed if he left early, and she would push him for a reason, and he couldn’t tell her. This was her favorite band. 

He didn’t want to change her opinion just because he was still pining over a relationship that ended years ago.

He sniffled, stood up, and dusted off his jeans. Before he went back inside, he sent Damien a text asking if he could come over after the concert. Damien’s answer came quickly; sure, he wasn’t busy. Shayne let out a sigh of relief and made his way back into the arena.

You didn’t look at him for the rest of the show.

***

Luckily, the concert ended sooner rather than later. You and your bandmates waved and called goodbyes as you disappeared beneath the stage floor. Shayne, anxious to get out of the arena, was out of his seat as soon as the house lights turned back on. He rocked up on the balls of his feet while Courtney gathered her stuff.

Once she was ready to go, Shayne began pushing through the crowds toward the exit. It took a while, but he finally managed to get out of the building with Courtney in tow.

“So, did you like it?” she asked as they walked back to their cars. Shayne stuffed his hands into his pockets and did his best not to look like a kicked puppy.

“Yeah, it was pretty good,” he said.

“I thought it was great. I was so surprised when they sang Towers; it’s one of my favorite songs by them. And they all sounded so great, too.”

Shayne tuned her out for most of the walk, too deep in his own feelings to give Courtney his full attention. Once they made it back to their cars, they hugged and went their separate ways.

He’d never been so anxious to get to Damien’s.

He was greeted, as usual, by the cats. They meowed up at him and twined around his legs, almost like they knew he was upset. He leaned down to scratch behind their ears. Damien shouted a greeting from the kitchen.

Shayne didn’t respond, just toed off his shoes and went to sit down on the couch. He leaned back against the throw pillows and closed his eyes for a while, lulled into a sort of trance by the sound of the sink running in the kitchen.

Shayne turned up on Damien’s doorstep with hunched shoulders and red-rimmed eyes. He reached for the doorknob and, as Damien had said he would, found it unlocked. Zelda and Freyja swarmed around his legs as he entered, purring and twining around him. He smiled softly down at them but didn’t stoop to pet them. He was pretty sure if he crouched to their level he wouldn’t be able to get back up; the exhaustion and sadness and disappointment in his system felt so intense, so bone-deep and pervasive, that he was fairly certain he might keel over unconscious any second.

He shuffled over to the couch and collapsed onto it, groaning into one of the throw pillows. He’d only been there for a minute or so when Damien emerged from the bathroom. Shayne heard his friend suck in a sharp inhale at the sight of him and realized that Damien probably hadn’t heard him come in. “Sorry,” he said, “didn’t mean to scare you.”

“It’s fine,” Damien replied. “I just didn’t realize you’d get here so fast. You want something to drink?”

Shayne thought for a second and then decided against it. “No,” he replied. “I’m not thirsty.”

Damien didn’t respond, though Shayne did hear his footsteps receding into the kitchen. He came back after a few seconds with a bottle of water. Once he had made himself comfortable on the couch and taken a long drag of said water, he peered at Shayne for a long moment. Shayne didn’t look back at him; he was fixated on a point off to Damien’s left, and he was only half-aware of his surroundings, anyway. He didn’t need to look at Damien’s face to know what he’d find there: confusion, disappointment, probably some anger.

“What happened?” Damien asked. That question was almost worse than the uncomfortable silence.

“I don’t know,” Shayne replied, and it wasn’t a lie. “I don’t… dude, I don’t fucking know. I panicked, I ended things, and she just… she just left. She didn’t even try to fight it.”

“Please tell me that’s not you trying to blame her for this,” Damien said, and Shayne could hear the anger creeping steadily further into his voice. He squeezed his eyes shut, scrubbed a hand over his face, and reached for the water bottle. He downed the rest of it and set it on the end table. With the water gone, he sat up and turned so that he could face Damien.

“I’m not. It’s my fault. I’m not stupid enough to try to deny that.”

“Well, you’re stupid enough to end a three-year relationship for no good goddamn reason, so at this point, I’m not a hundred percent sure where all of your brain cells have fucked off to.”

Shayne grimaced at the biting words as if Damien had taken a physical swing at him, unable to help the wounded sound that lodged itself in his throat. He didn’t try to fight it, though. Damien was right.

There was a moment of tense silence. Damien sighed and shook his head, and then his form softened; his shoulders relaxed and some of the ire left his eyes. “I’m sorry,” he said. “That was harsh. I just… I’m just confused, dude. I thought you guys were happy. This is kind of coming out of nowhere.”

“The other day, we talked about getting married. And we both agreed that it was something we wanted.”

Damien’s brow furrowed. “Oh… kay?” he said slowly, sounding out each vowel. “That kind of proves my point, Shayne.”

“Today, I got home and she was sitting on the couch and she asked me how my day was and I panicked. Suddenly, it was just… too much. And I started talking before I could think about it. And from there it was like I was completely out of control, like I couldn’t shut myself up. The look on her face… that look is gonna haunt my fucking dreams. And by the time I realized what I had done, by the time I was about to get down on my knees and beg her to stay, she was gone.”

Another long few seconds of silence. Shayne realized with a start that he was crying. He took a shuddering breath and wiped at the tears on his cheeks.

“I’m scared, Dames,” he continued. “She didn’t fight it. She just… she just packed a bag and went. Maybe she wanted this, maybe she was waiting to tell me. Maybe she wasn’t happy. Maybe that’s why she didn’t fight.”

Damien looked at him like he had grown a second head. “You’re crazy, Shayne. She was… she is so utterly in love with you. Think about the shit you’ve gone through together. Do you honestly believe that she would’ve stuck around this long if she wasn’t happy with you?”

“I texted her after she left,” Shayne said. “Right before I texted you. I apologized and asked if we could talk more. She hasn’t responded.”

“Can you blame her?” Damien asked. Shayne shrugged feebly. “She’s probably with Carly right now. I’d bet any money Carly told her not to answer, and that’s probably for the best. Wait at least until tomorrow and give her a call. You both need a little time to calm down, but you can still fix this.”

Shayne nodded, but he knew deep down that it was done. You were done.

Shayne was startled out of his memories as, in the present, Damien sat down on the couch next to him. He opened his eyes and looked at his best friend, and he knew without having to see himself that he had the same expression as he’d had five years ago; shocked, distant, utterly devastated.

“You okay, man?” Damien asked. Shayne scrubbed his hand over his face and let out a long, frustrated sigh. “That bad?”

“You’ll never guess who I ran into today,” Shayne began. Damien didn’t say anything, just sort of cocked his head as a sign for Shayne to continue. “Y/N, of all people.”

Damien perked up at the mention of your name, but then shrank back down and made a sympathetic sound in the back of his throat. “Was she at the concert or something?”

“Oh, not only was she at the concert,” Shayne said. He surged upward so that he was sitting up straight, feeling a surge of frustration course through him. “No, she’s in the fucking band.”

Damien’s eyes widened and his mouth dropped into a sort of shocked “oh” shape. Shayne nodded and threw his hands in the air for emphasis.

“So not only am I caught completely off guard seeing her again during the photo op or whatever, but then I’ve gotta watch her for the whole concert. And she sang this song that I just --” his voice died in his throat as he remembered the look on your face, that same look from years ago, so wholeheartedly hurt.

“I’m sorry, Shayne,” Damien said. It was clear that he wasn’t sure what to do. “Do you wanna talk more or do you wanna take your mind off it?”

Shayne sighed again. “I think I just need a distraction. Let’s find a comedy special or something to watch.”

Damien nodded and turned the TV on, scrolling through Netflix until he found something they agreed upon. Shayne drifted in and out of sleep for a while, exhausted from the emotional whiplash of the day, before he finally passed out on Damien’s couch.

***

He woke up to a sharp pain in his neck and the smell of bacon frying in the kitchen.

“Morning,” Damien greeted him as he entered. “Figured I’d make some breakfast.”

Shayne nodded his thanks and went to the fridge for some water, and then he sat down on a stool at the breakfast counter. His phone was almost dead, but there was just enough power to make sure he hadn't missed anything important. He checked his texts, listened to a voicemail from his dentist’s office about an upcoming appointment, and then scrolled through his emails.

There was one in his work inbox which caught his eye; the filming schedule for the upcoming week. He clicked on the email and scrolled down until he got to the attached document. At the top, Monday, he and Damien would be filming a guest Try Not to Laugh. When his eyes scanned across the page to see who the guest was, his heart dropped into the pit of his stomach.

There, written in clear, bold print, was the name of your band.

And Shayne’s lungs were caving in all over again.

[anxiouslymalicious]

Finding Home

A Peter Parker x (female) Reader series. This follows the events of Spider-Man: Far From Home, except with a new character; Y/N Wood, an enhanced human. 

Warnings: mentions of a death and other than that, just talks of the blip and stuff like that. Oh and SPIDER-MAN FAR FROM HOME SPOILER WARNING!

This is unedited and this might be kind of bad as this is my first time writing in third person and my first time writing for Marvel. If you guys like it, I’ll continue writing this series, if not, I might delete this first part and pretend that none of this ever happened. 

Anyway, thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy!

Peter Parker was a nervous boy. Always fidgeting, always trying to explain himself if someone couldn’t really follow his train of thought, always scared of embarrassing himself. After all, he wasn’t too popular in school, but embarrassing himself in front of the people he saw every day wasn’t really something he wanted to, so he kept to his little friend group. Well, MJ and Ned, but they were all he needed.

After the blip and the whole battle with Thanos, Peter was almost excited to live a more normal life than he had over the past time. It was still strange to him that he had been gone for five years and some people around him had aged while others still looked the same, but the fact that everyone almost tried to push away the thoughts of what exactly had happened, gave him some kind of normalcy.

It was nice. Nice, being a silly schoolboy with a super-secret hobby and what he felt like was the biggest crush on a girl he spent a lot of time with.

Pain was a steady companion. An unwanted companion, yes, but it was always there. Not even physically, really, Peter was aware that it was something from mental origin, but it felt so bad that sometimes he wasn’t sure if it really wasn’t physical.

Especially as he put on his suit and mask and turned into the friendly neighbourhood-Spiderman, he couldn’t help but feel the pain of losing the only father figure he had ever known. He had lost a man who had given him so much, who cared for him so much, who he had grown so close to despite Stark’s efforts to keep him somewhat on distance. He felt the pain of having let down Mr. Stark, having let down his family and friends. He felt the physical pain from the battle he had fought.

And the pressure, how could Peter forget about the constant pressure from the media. The people who were now, understandably, scared of potential new threats and with three of the strongest Avengers gone, with the whole Avengers group going MIA except for Spidey, everyone kept bribing him with questions and the responsibility to keep everyone safe should another alien attack.

So, when the trip to Europe was announced, Peter couldn’t have been happier. Being in a place where Spider-Man was not present, a place where he didn’t have to care about being a hero, and instead could focus on a certain girl sounded heavenly and like the thing that he needed the most in that moment.

Especially once he had declined a call from Nick Fury himself, going to another continent was probably the only right thing to do if he wanted to stay alive. Not to mention whatever seemed to be going on between Aunt May and Happy. Peter felt uncomfortable just thinking about how close they might be.

“I have a plan.” Peter said excitedly to his best friend, Ned, as he sat down at the table next to him. Ned looked at him, wordlessly telling his friend to keep going. “Okay, first, I sit next to MJ on the flight.” Peter continued to which Ned hummed in reply. Peter’s voice caught the attention of another person in the room. Y/N, who was one of the people who hadn’t been blipped away and, thus, now shared classes with Peter and Ned, watched as the boys in front of her brabbled on.

Well, Peter was passionately and not exactly quietly talking about his plan to ask MJ out, Ned was only giving him unimpressed one-word replies. To Y/N, he really didn’t sound happy about the plan Peter had probably spend hours developing. The young girl imagined how Peter had been lying in his bed for hours and hours on end every night, trying to think of a way to ask out this one special girl, but overthrowing his plans over and over again because they were not good enough and she probably wouldn’t like them.

Y/N felt her cheeks up in embarrassment and hoped that no one was an enhanced human, like her. Her mother was, according to her father, enhanced, but she had never gotten to meet her as she died during childbirth. The young girl knew how to control her powers, but she barely used them. Not unless her father told her that she could. She didn’t trust herself enough to decide when the situation became too serious not to use them and when she should avoid using them, so she relied on the people who trained her.

“Oh, don’t forget step seven!” Ned replied with enough enthusiasm to pull Y/N out of her Peter-related daydreams.

“Step seven…?” Peter was confused at Ned’s sudden outburst and made a little note, eager for help to improve his plan.

“Don’t do any of that.” Ned told Peter dryly which surprised Y/N. She couldn’t hold back the little snort and giggle and she was sure that, even though she had slapped her hands in front of her mouth, desperate to muffle the noise, Peter and Ned had heard her. She could feel even more blood rushing to her face and tried to shuffle in her seat, hoping the ground would swallow her. Technically, it could, but she knew that she couldn’t use her powers in broad daylight in the middle of her school. So, she didn’t and just kept hoping.

Once Ned had explained to Peter why they should both be bachelors in Europe and how his plan was stupid, MJ came by. Y/N hadn’t seen her coming, but she had heard how Peter’s voice got higher, whether it was fear or excitement, though, she couldn’t determine. Peter sat with his back to her, but even if he hadn’t, the young girl still felt too mortified to raise her head from where it was resting on her desk.

But once Peter and Ned started talking to MJ, Y/N felt less mortified. Because Peter and Ned just made complete fools out of themselves as they were talking to MJ. Or more stuttering and trying to come up with excuses. Once MJ had told the boys about the VPN, she left them and walked over to Y/N.

MJ at least assumed that it was her, she recognised her hair colour and her silly behaviour when she felt embarrassed.

“What’s up dork?” she asked as she plopped down in a chair next to her. Y/N grunted in reply. MJ took out some paper and a pencil. “Stay like that, it’s the perfect misery to capture. Maybe once I’m done, you’ll be done doing… that.” She told the teenager before she started scribbling.

A smile tugged on the corners of the embarrassed girl’s lips, and before she could fight it, she was giggling, to which MJ told her: “Stop. I’m not done capturing your misery! You can’t smile now!”. She was having a hard time fighting her own smile, though, and so they soon found themselves laughing, the thought of potential embarrassment was the last thing on their minds.

Once the girls had calmed down enough to realise that they were in public and no one had seen either of them so carefree, they stopped laughing, only giving each other knowing smirks.

The sudden laughter made Peter and Ned turn in their seats only to find the edgy duo laughing loudly. Y/N and MJ had been close friends ever since MJ had been blipped away and Y/N had grown up to be the same age as MJ.

Now fortunately for her, Y/N belonged to the half of the universe that wasn’t blipped away, the harsh and barely populated world around her giving her the will and opportunity to train her powers in a way that she couldn’t before. But it had also caused the enhanced human a lot of pain, being without most of her friends and the people she considered family, she felt alone. Abandoned, even in the first few weeks of the blip. It had also filled her with rage and a wish to fight those so-called-superheroes that have ruined so many people’s lives.

She stopped feeling comfortable in things that were too colourful and her hair often looked messy from her hands running through it ever so often. Those looks attracted MJ a lot once she had been blipped back and so, she took the girl under her wings. And throughout the past eight months, the two of them had grown rather close.

Y/N’s pocket began to vibrate, her phone demanding attention. She averted her focus and noticed that her father was texting her. Something about a new mission that he would tell her about once she had gotten home. It was his way of indirectly telling her to come home immediately after school. Being the nice kid she is, Y/N made her way home immediately after school ended, only yelling a short “see you tomorrow” towards MJ when she passed her friend in the hallway.

It didn’t take her long to get home, and once she arrived at the apartment building in which she lived with her father, the girl felt tingles in her fingers and a warm feeling in her belly. The last mission, as they called it, had been fun. It had felt amazing to let out all the pent-up energy that she never got to let out in her day-to-day-life and support her father.

“Dad, I’m home!” Y/N yelled once she arrived and went straight to the kitchen to grab a snack.

“Hey, sweetheart. How was school?” the brunette man asked as he found his daughter in the kitchen, as he always did when she came home from school.

“Good.” She replied and looked at her dad with a huge grin adorning her face. He knew that she was too excited for the next mission to tell him more about school and other casualties. But he wanted to hear it from her, so he played her little game.

“Have you gotten any homework? Maybe you can do that later here in the kitchen when I’m cooking so I can help you. If I’m right, you had physics today and I know that’s not your thing- “

“DAD! Stop, please.” His daughter interrupted the word-vomit which he was purposefully using to avoid the one thing she was eager to hear about. He chuckled at her antics as she jumped up to sit on the kitchen counter, taking berries out of the container she had found earlier in the fridge.

“Well, I told you that we would have to expand the targets soon. And, as you are going on that science trip with your school, I thought about where to take the next mission. And I talked to the team.” The man started, scratching his beard as he acted as though the whole thinking process had been tough for him. And only after his daughter urged him to go on, he actually did.

“And?”

“And we came to the conclusion that Italy would be a great next target. Venice, to be exact.” He continued, making his daughter gasp in excitement. The girl promptly jumped off the counter again to hug her father, knowing that the next mission wasn’t too much of a wait and that she would be able to do her job and let some steam off while she was in Europe. It was unsuspicious enough, easy to do and, as she assumed, finally something new.

After the earth elemental and air elemental, she would finally be able to make a splash with the water elemental, something she had been looking forward ever since she started training her powers.

“Beck, we need you in the dungeon for the simulations.” Said one of the team members, his voice muffled through the door as he knocked.

“Guess we’ll have to order takeout. The mission is more important than cooking.” The girl said with a grin as she sprinted to her room to change into something more comfortable for training.

“I raised her right.” Quentin Beck said to himself with a smirk on his lips as he watched her go. “Thank god she doesn’t know the truth. Silly little girl.”

[mysticmelove]

Hello! Can you write smth spicy about Jumin and MC? For example, when Jumin punishes her for bad behavior or when he treats her like a kitten. Or when his another kinks appearing. Thank you~

*Once again I can’t tag this as NSFW because it will get flagged immediately, please read at your own discretion. It’s not too kinky but I hope you like it x

Temptation

(Jumin x MC) [NSFW]

.

Marrying Jumin came with the upmost need to accept that occasionally his job would have to come before his home life. MC was his everything, yes, but he relied on his job. As to be expected, under those circumstances, sometimes MC was reluctant to accept his stance on his work- she could be undoubtedly selfish when it came to Jumin. She knew it was wrong but, if she could, she’d ban business trips all together so she could spend those days alone with him. Spend those days and nights cherishing the gift that was her husband and forgetting anything that could have troubled them. It didn’t take inference to know they were both happiest in each other’s company, which is why the business trips caused such a strain.

The weekends away she could handle, no problem with that, she’d just go out with a few friends and let the thought leave her mind. Yet, the trips that lasted weeks became almost agonising to not only her but the both of them. They could phone each other, video chat, whatever, but it all lacked intimacy. Jumin’s words were poetic and graced her ears like velvet but his touch was something much more to be desired. His lips were softer than those of any other man, his touch more experienced, he knew everything about her, his mere presence was one of the best feeling she could ever experience. But, most of all, it was the little moments she enjoyed; the way her heart fluttered as she’d lay on his chest, no words were spoken but she knew how he felt, his hand holding her bare skin tenderly; or the way a sigh would pass his lips quietly as he stroked a hand through her hair. The little moments were nice, but intimacy is intimacy and neither of them were complaining.

6 weeks of Jumin being in the States had the both of them reeling; they spoke on the phone every night and MC wasn’t afraid to voice her frustrations to him, but Jumin was keen to keep his to himself. It was easier to focus on his work if he ignored his desires to the best of his ability, still MC made that very difficult for him most of the time. In the first few weeks there was no mention of sex or anything of the sort but that was soon forgotten with the distance growing between them each day. She gave up on hiding just how pent up she was and Jumin was eventually graced by the angelic sound of his wife’s moans, not to mention her lewd messages throughout the day. Never once had he imagined when they first got married that he’d end up having phone sex with MC but it did happen- on multiple occasions in fact- and he had no problems with it, other than it being a complete distraction to his work. It was only buildup for what was to come when he returned home: he promised her that constantly.

As a man true to his word, Jumin wasted no time returning to the penthouse once his plane had landed. He’d even phoned her the second he landed, despite the fact it was well past midnight, telling her to ‘expect something special’. Despite that, it was MC who had really wanted to surprise her husband. She’d gone out of her way, while he was off on his trip, to buy new lingerie to surprise him with. White lace and ribbons, the type he was particularly fond of, accompanied by her silk gown left open: all waiting for him when he’d return home.

No time was wasted as Jumin stepped through the door. He’d instructed his suitcases to be dealt with at some other time- this time being reserved for his wife and his wife only- and his coat had been abandoned within seconds. Elizabeth was the first to greet him, purring magnificently as she weaved between his legs. Jumin’s lips curled up gently as she knelt down to her level and stroked through her coat. “Oh, I missed you, princess,” he tilted her head up to gaze into her marble-like eyes, “I missed my other princess too...”

“And she missed you more than words can explain,” MC’s tone was low, sensual, as it drew Jumin’s eyes immediately. His angel stood in the doorway of their bedroom all in white- fitting really- and looking as gorgeous as ever. She looked to him, doe eyed, “I really missed you, Jumin...”

He chuckled lowly, rising to his feet without shifting his gaze from her for a moment, “I know, I think you made that crystal clear in our many conversations, my love.” His eyes took in every inch of her, basically devouring her from where he stood, and he couldn’t help but ignore his surroundings as he moved towards her. “You look beautiful, kitten,” he cooed gently as he twirled her hair between his fingers, “Just how I like it.”

He didn’t hesitate to tug at one of the ribbons on her shoulder, causing the strap of her brassiere to come loose. MC blushed, letting his hands trace the lines of her collarbones, “I wanted to please you... remind you of what you missed?”

“You needn’t remind me, princess.” Jimin whispered lowly as he guided her back against the wall, his nose a hairs away from her’s and his eyes cast down on her. “I know exactly what belongs to me.” His slender fingers threaded through her silky hair and her eyes fell shut, waiting for his embrace silently. Their lips danced together, Jumin’s free hand wandering its way around MC’s back and holding her gently. She whined as Jumin pulled away, his forehead pressed to hers, he’d been home for less than 5 minutes but there was no denying they were both already hot and bothered, and it appeared Jumin was lacking his usual patience. “Let’s move this to the bedroom; maybe you can make up for all the torture you’ve put me through.”

“Torture?” MC’s voice cracked slightly as she questioned him, subtly pulling her robe back up to her shoulder from where it had slipped.

“Your phone calls, your photos,” he pressed: “I don’t think you’ve left my mind since I left and it’s torture to me.” He stepped back to admire her again, loosening his tie with a tense fist. “You know what happens when you tempt me.”

“Maybe...” she teased, bright eyed as she fiddled with the free ribbon between her fingers.

Jumin scoffed with a smile, running his fingers through his hair with ease. “That wasn’t very good of you, kitten. Run along, before you make things worse than they have to be.”

Maybe she did want things worse however; ‘worse’ meant more attention, negative or positive it was still attention. MC loved any attention he would give her, regardless. He followed her intently into the dimly lit room, his eyes widening at the sight of rose petals scattered across the room- accompanied by what seemed like dozens of candles. He hadn’t imagined she would have gone to so much effort but he appreciated all the work she had put it to make it as romantic as possible. With care, he approached her from behind and wrapped his protective arms around her. He pressed his lips to her neck, “This is lovely, kitten.” She shuddered in his hold as his teeth wandered down, settling on the remaining ribbon over her shoulder. Jumin’s grasp only seemed to grow tighter as he freed her from her straps, leaving the mesh material of her bra almost useless. Begrudgingly, he removed his lips from her supple skin and whispered sweetly: “I had other things in mind, my love, but I think I’d much rather treat you like the princess you are right now.”

Setting her free, he took a generous step back from her; stripping the silk gown from her back and taking with him, setting it on the bed beside him as he sat down. He rested back on his hands, gesturing with a nod for to take a seat, his eyes never faltering from her natural beauty. MC’s smile radiated as she moved towards the bed. Her body felt to be full of confidence as she straddled her husband’s lap, outstretching her arms and placing them over his shoulders. Jumin loved her little tendencies- so feline like and adorable. Humming, she dragged one of her hands down his chest, gripping at his shirt, and moved her lips to barely hover against his, “I love you.”

“I love you too, princess.” His eyes contrasted his words, so dark and unforgiving yet his voice as smooth as anything. Jumin’s lips crashed into her’s, savouring every second of their contact after so many weeks of being apart. Both of MC’s hands seemed to find their way to his shirt, unbuttoning it carelessly as they grew closer and closer. Jumin paid no mind to her actions, simply smiling as she let herself free on his torso. Having let his shirt fall free, her hands wandered his chest, her nails leaving light scratches, before they ended up wrapped firmly around his neck and in the hair on the nape of his neck. In response, Jumin bit teasingly at her bottom lip, one of his hands creeping up her back, until she finally gave in and let his tongue explore her mouth without consequence. His hand rested on the clasp of her bra, undoing it with ease as he pulled away from her lips. “You’re so precious,” he murmured between deep breaths, “Not always best behaved, but precious nonetheless, kitten.”

MC lifted herself onto her knees, lips parted and wet, before lowering herself back down on his groin. She stifled a moan as she rubbed against his growing bulge, her teeth sinking into her bottom lip and her eyes scrunching shut. Jumin admired that face he had missed; he heard her through his phone speaker, of course, but he had missed the way her eyebrows would furrow whenever she’d moan. He encouraged her to continue, chasing that face, as he rolled his own hips below her. “I missed that face... Please, let me hear you, kitten...” he drew her face up to his between his index finger and thumb. Her eyes were glazing already, tempted by the encroaching ecstasy.

“Would that make you happ— ah...” she tried to be cocky but her husband wouldn’t allow that, he had her breasts groped in his hands quicker than he could comprehend.

“You make me happy, princess... Your obedient, pretty little self...” One hand remained on her chest, pinching and twisting at her nipple, while his other stroked through her hair tenderly. His eyes drifted to her lips, her breath slightly ragged, “Do you know how beautiful you are, kitten? ...So very... very beautiful...” She smiled at his comment before he could force his lips onto her again- their kiss sloppy and desperate. Jumin loved the way she’d moan into his mouth if he pinched exceptionally hard or he rubbed her the wrong way, she wouldn’t hold back if that it what he wanted.

MC pulled away, panting and whining, while her hand ventured down to his belt buckle. She looked to his grey eyes and mewled: “Please...” He groaned at the sound of her begging; it was a trigger for him whether she knew it or not- he could get off to that alone. “Please, Jumin... I can’t wait...”

He watched, intrigued, as she fiddled with his belt on her own accord, managing to eventually free him from that as well. With a grin, he aided her in removing his slacks and underwear enough for her to get to what she wanted. “Be patient, princess. You’ll get everything you want... You always will...” He kissed at her neck feverishly as he hooked a finger around the band of her underwear, tugging them with all the pent up force he had endured over the 6 weeks. MC was just as quick to guide him to her entrance, lowering herself onto him as she braced her head in the crook of his neck and cried out ever so slightly. She grasped onto the back of his shirt and scrunched it within her fists. Jumin lowered his head to her, his lips grazing the shell of her ear, “Kitten?”

With a struggled hum, MC nodded and allowed him to make the first move, her legs wrapping around his back. She moaned with each movement, eventually joining him to move her hips in time with his own. Jumin wasn’t one to moan, as such, during sex but he’d groan incessantly; all the while showering her with praise and complements on how good she was. He adored her inability to remain quiet in the slightest whenever she came close to a climax or how she got louder whenever he praised her- not that she would admit it. He loved being so near her, in her. She’d become reckless as she got closer and closer to her climax, begging him to go faster and harder, all the while trying to kiss him as much as she possibly could: almost incoherent words and pure moans. MC began her persistent begging as Jumin, too, was drawing ever closer. Their rhythm became messy and Jumin was doing all he could manage as he chased his high. “Jumin...! I– I...” MC cried out a symphony of moans as she finally came, writhing desperately in her husband’s strong hold. Jumin was soon to follow suit, burying his head in her shoulder and calling out her name in that low, incising tone.

Not too long after he’d finished, Jumin raised his head to look into her shining eyes. They panted together, smiling lovingly as if the world around them simply didn’t exist. He placed a hand on the soft skin of her blushed cheek and whispered quietly, only for her ears to hear, “I missed you... Don’t let me leave again, my love.”