#also i learned a lot of this through youtube and i really enjoy sideways so please go watch him

[countessofbiscuit]

hello! i was wondering if you had any recommendations or advice on how to improve on writing milwank in my fic? you're really good at it and i am in awe. any recommended reading etc would be so appreciated!! hope you have a nice day :)

That’s very kind of you, thank you for reading my stories and telling me what you like about them! I’ll try to distill 15+ years of personal interest, family involvement, and academic study into some broad channels to check out (with the caveat that I've never been in the military or lived anywhere near a combat zone):

Nothing beats first-hand accounts, for starters. I read nonfiction, autobiographies, and memoirs, from a variety of veteran nationalities. But it doesn’t matter the war or the conflict or the branch: military experience shapes not only perspective and thinking, but also—particularly important for writing—the words one uses and how one uses them. Read or listen to enough veterans and it becomes clear which phrases and jargon are actually common currency and which are the stuff of Hollywood and bad listicles on the internet. 

Speaking of Hollywood, a really approachable and digestible resource are those “experts react” videos on YouTube that poured forth during COVID. Channels found ex-service people to watch clips from movies, TV shows, and video games and rate their realism. Gamology has some of my favorite reactors. Some are better at explaining their reasoning than others, or just more engaging. Regardless, watch enough of these and you’ll feel like you have someone sitting on your shoulder as you write, guarding you against creating scenarios that are too far-fetched or just fundamentally wrong. 

Another thing first-hand accounts do is prove that truth is stranger than fiction. Sometimes the unbelievable does actually happen—but it helps to know where things went wrong or sideways, so you can use similar bend and flex convincingly in your own stories. 

r/militarystories on reddit is also a fantastic resource for short-read narratives that highlight military attitudes, experiences, and tribulations—as well as, yeah, wild one-of-a-kind, no-shit-there-I-was stories. The sub encourages spelling out acronyms and explaining concepts in a way that civilians can understand, so you don’t have to spend a lot of time googling things. Some of the regular contributors are published authors. It’s also well moderated and the comments on each story are usually equally rich in good jargon and humor. Great for learning more about military culture(s).

On top of this, there is so much open-source doctrinal information, depending on your stomach for dryness. I am fascinated by “admin”, so I enjoy leafing through memoranda, monographs, white papers, and manuals. Understanding certain principals, objectives, and definitions gives you a stronger understanding of what the military thinks military people are actually supposed to be doing—e.g. route clearance, infil and exfil operations, fire support—and how different military elements are integrated to achieve a goal. This really helps when building out fictional units and trying to understand what their day-to-day looks like. Learn how to give a unit's elevator pitch.

If your eyes tire, return to YouTube or Spotify. Put all those male podcasters to good use. Every ex-SEAL has their own platform now where they interview other ex-service people, and their casual dialogue is often as illuminating as their monologues about specific events. Some of these podcasts have five hour episodes. I stick ‘em on when sewing or painting, absorbing a lot of words while I work with my hands. (All my algorithms think I am a specific black gun, black coffee type of male, which is one downside of this type of media consumption.)

I also enjoy reading books by mil-adjacent folks: ex-CIA employees, UN doctors and aide workers, theatre reporters, etc. Their informed perspective and view of the impact of military operations on civil life is informative and thought-provoking. 

Hope this helps, and thanks for your patience as I’ve been away for a month.

[shatmonster]

the way tommy uses music in his streams is so cool and heres why:

so im sure pretty most everyone can recognize the way music can influence the atmosphere or mood of a scene during a stream, but one of the key reasons it can do that is because of a musical term called ‘themes.’ this basically refers to a certain song or musical piece that represents a recurring idea or character as a whole (think Imperial March representing The Empire). tommy utilizes themes by playing a certain, well-known song within his streams, to represent something his character is feeling or doing. 

for example, Able Sisters. this is tommys theme. it represents him and his character. if he were to utilize the full potential of this theme, he could use it in moments where his character is doing something important for himself or doing important character work, but listen, these are twitch streams, not fully edited tv episodes so ill cut him some slack. but the point is, whenever you hear able sisters you think of tommy and what he represents as the current protagonist/hero and thats pretty cool for a bunch of notes in a specific order. 

but he uses other themes such as Super Mario World’s Castle to represent his character feeling trepidation or fear or monkaW, if you will. even if the scene isnt necessarily eerie yet, as soon as he puts that song on the audience knows what they should be feeling: uneasy and cautious. its such an easy way of connecting the audience to whats happening on screen without explicit exposition and its very pog. 

some more examples of this, because its cool to talk about it, is: Super Mario Bro’s Airship 1 and Deltarune’s Rude Buster to represent intense and energetic moments or the heat of battle! or maybe the music from Animal Crossing: New Leaf to represent fun easy light-hearted silliness. when this music is playing the audience doesnt need to expect intense roleplaying or serious lore and can enjoy an easygoing stream... for the time being. 

some very important and interesting things are also his opening and closing theme: Luvbird’s Recollections and the Wii Shop Music respectively. when you join tommys stream and youre immediately hit with his opening theme, you think, “yay tommyinnit stream its starting this is gonna be great its tommyinnit,” which is the point. and when you hear his closing theme ur like “oh look the stream is ending its been great cant wait to see the next one.” tommy doesnt even have to tell you these things, because the music tells you and i just think that is so very cool

Edit: can’t believe I forgot the prime music. Here y’all go, you get it by now.

[hailing-stars]

I wrote this fic almost a year ago, one of my first irondad one-shots and my writing has improved so much lmao, but I didn’t have a tumblr back then, so I thought it was worth posting here. also May dates doc ock which happens in the comics but was still uncomfortable to write lol 

summary - something nefarious 

“I didn’t,” he said, then frowned. “I don’t. I’m just… distracted.”

Mr. Stark’s raised eyebrow demanded an answer.

“…Umm,” said Peter. He picked the first non-college thought that popped into his head. “Well Aunt May has this new boyfriend.”

“And you hate him.”

“Well, yeah.”

“Sounds about right,” said Mr. Stark, with a sigh, as Peter checked his phone.

OR

Peter gets beat up by May's new boyfriend, because May's new boyfriend is Doc Ock and Peter is nosey.

Tony just wants to work on a car with his Spidey son and send him to college in one piece.

read on ao3 or after the undercut

Peter stared at the car parts scattered across the floor. He tried to remember enough to start assembling, or to at least make a little bit of progress before Mr. Stark looked away from whatever he was working on and saw no changes were made. It was useless. He couldn’t concentrate. Not on that. Not during that particular moment.

His thoughts belonged elsewhere, anywhere else, actually, but mostly not there. On the car. Completing the car meant completing a lie, or more importantly, led Peter closer to the moment he’d have to confess to Mr. Stark that he wouldn’t be attending MIT in the fall and therefore wouldn’t need this particular graduation present.

Peter had trouble deciding what would upset Mr. Stark more, his choice of school or that attending NYU rendered his gift useless.

“Every college man needs a car,” he had told him, then proceeded to try and rush off to get him a brand-new Audi. Peter’s lucky to have both May and Pepper. They were there to force him into a compromise

.May picked out some rundown car at a junk lot, and Mr. Stark would help him fix it up.

This compromise meant every Saturday that summer belonged to the workshop. He didn’t mind that part. Spending time with Mr. Stark was one of his favorite things to do. Especially there, in the workshop, where new Iron Man suits were born. If Peter were really going away to Massachusetts for school next fall, which he definitely wasn’t, he would miss him, almost as much as May.

The thought crossed his mind that he might end up missing Mr. Stark after all. Peter isn’t completely above pretending to be at MIT while he really hung around New York. It sounded a lot better and like a lot less drama than giving him the bad news.

“You were right,” said Mr. Stark. His voice dripped with sarcasm as he stood over where Peter worked, or pretended to work, on the floor. “Clearly you don’t need my help.”

“I didn’t,” he said, then frowned. “I don’t. I’m just… distracted.”

Mr. Stark’s raised eyebrow demanded an answer.

“…Umm,” said Peter. He picked the first non-college thought that popped into his head. “Well Aunt May has this new boyfriend.”

“And you hate him.”

“Well, yeah.”

“Sounds about right,” said Mr. Stark, with a sigh, as Peter checked his phone.

“Oh shit,” he said, and struggled to get to his feet. He sprinted to the other side of the workshop, grabbed his bookbag from the floor, then sprinted back to Mr. Stark. “I’m going to be late. I’m supposed to be meeting him tonight.”

He waited for the blow to come. A sarcastic comment. An ill-received joke. Peter prepared to defend himself for hating the man without ever meeting him, but the blow never came. This is something that, maybe, Mr. Stark understood, too. Peter didn’t need a reason to dislike any of May’s boyfriends, although he felt like he had plenty from overheard bits of conversations on the phone.

His name was reason enough. Doctor Otto.

Peter looked up once he adjusted the strap of his bookbag, and followed Mr. Stark’s gaze over to the car, if it could even be called a car at that point, sitting in the middle of the room.

“At this rate it’s never gonna be finished by fall.”

“Sorry Mr. Stark,” said Peter. “I’ll come back tomorrow?”

“Nope, tomorrow I’m spending the day with Pepper,” he said, then pointed at him. “Next Saturday I’m helping you, and cut it out with the Mr. Stark, alright? I told you. It’s Tony. You’re an adult now. Use your big boy words.”  

“Sure thing, Mr. Stark.”

Peter was almost out the door when he heard Mr. Stark grumble, “Smartass.”

*

He was, as predicted, late for dinner. He opened the apartment door to one of the most traumatizing sights he’d ever seen in his eighteen years of life. May and Doctor Otto were standing uncomfortably close, but worse of all, they were breaking apart, as if they’d been closer, as if they’d been kissing.

His eyes settled over the man, but Peter’s feet stayed planted in the foyer, letting the door fall shut behind him. Doctor Otto was tall, with dark hair and fit. His button up shirt stuck too close to his skin, but that wasn’t the most unsettling observation Peter made that night. It was the look in his eyes. Possibly, it was the same look Peter gave him as he sized him up, as the both of them were making up their minds about each other there in his aunt’s apartment.

The apartment they used to share with his uncle Ben.

“You must be Peter,” said Otto. He broke out of the kitchen and started across the apartment towards him.

“Obviously.”

Otto looked taken back for a half-second, then quickly recovered and pretended he hadn’t heard the tone. Behind him, May glared and mouthed at him to be nice.

“I’m Otto,” he said. His grip was loose and flimsy, like a fish out of water or a man who’s trying too hard to pretend to be unassuming. Peter knew better than to fall for that. “May told me so much about you.”

“Really?” said Peter. “I haven’t heard very much about you at all actually…”

“Peter,” said May, marching across the kitchen and joining them in the foyer. She stood by Otto, on his side, and hooked her arm through his. “He’s joking.” She looked at Peter. “You’re joking, but the joke’s over now.”

The couple walked back into the kitchen, arms still linked, and Peter swallowed misplaced stomach acid. His feet felt like dead weights as he followed them to the kitchen table. He didn’t know how he would make it through dinner without puking, but he should at least try it. He should at least try to be polite even if Otto made his skin crawl and his stomach turn, just so May wouldn’t kill him once he left. If he ever left.

He looked so comfortable on May’s side of the dinner table, where Ben used to sit, Peter wasn’t so sure they would ever get rid of him.

He stayed polite by keeping his responses as short as possible. He nodded when he could, he forced himself to smile, and occasionally, would make a noise that implied he was paying attention and actually, he was. Otto went on and on about his research with radioactive substances, maybe trying to impress him, but after spending so much time with Mr. Stark, it was hard to be impressed by someone so mediocre.

“I’ve heard you’re pretty into science yourself,” said Otto. There was a stray lasagna noodle hanging on his chin, and Peter had a hard time looking anywhere else. “I’ll have to get your opinion on my work sometime.”

“Oh,” said Peter. He looked down at his plate and pushed a few noodles around with his fork. “I doubt I would have the time for that. I intern for Mr. Stark, and he keeps me pretty busy.”

May narrowed her eyes at Peter, who stared right back. Otto was her boyfriend. It didn’t mean he was obligated to spend time with him.

“I’m sure he does,” said Otto, and Peter smiled for the first time since coming home, enjoying the bit of jealousy laced into his voice.

That night, Peter laid in bed and stared at his ceiling. The more his brain turned and turned and turned with all that talking about radioactive substances, about wanting to work with them, about AIs that would allow him to do it, the more it didn’t sound right. AIs were dangerous in the wrong hands. Peter didn’t think they should be trusted in the same hands that had trouble keeping food on his plate or in his mouth.

He didn’t sleep until he resolved to start an investigation, and to not give it up until he found something so incriminating May would break up with him.

Peter had a simple plan.

He set his alarm early, at least for an otherwise lazy Sunday morning, and stayed in his room. He pretended to be asleep until he heard the shower water running. He slipped out of bed and made his footsteps light as he crept into May’s bedroom. Her phone sat on the nightstand, and once in his hands, it was an easy hack. Something so simple and learned so easily by spending enough time around Mr. Stark, who was quick to teach Peter anything he wanted to know. He scrolled with his thumb until he found Otto’s contact information, grinning when he finally came across what he’d been looking for, an address.

He sent it to his phone, wiped the message history and returned it to its original position on the nightstand.

By the time May came out of the bathroom, Peter sat at the kitchen table, watching YouTube videos on his phone and eating a bowl of cereal. The empty box laid sideways on the table.

“Good morning, May,” he said, as she walked past him.

She headed to the coffee pot, or at least she had started in that direction. She backtracked several steps to stand in the kitchen entryway, observing him with her hands on her hips, until Peter was forced to acknowledge her.

“No.”

“No to what?”

“To whatever you’re up to,” she said. “I know that look, and I know what it means.”

“But I’m not even doing anything.”

“Does what you’re not doing have anything to do with Otto, by any chance?” she asked. Peter blinked at her, and she pulled on her we’re-about-to-have-a-serious-discussion face while she pulled out the chair next to him. “Did you know all those nights you spend going off, having your little Avengers missions, I sit here in this kitchen, by myself, worrying to death about you? Every single time. It never gets less scary, but it always ends the same way. Do you know how?”

“Umm…” said Peter. He had a feeling he knew, but he felt like answering would be walking into a trap.

“With you coming through that door complaining,” she said. “Mr. Stark is so over-protective. He’s paranoid! He won’t let me anything –“

“-My voice isn’t that high.”

“The point,” said May. “Is that you are doing the same thing, with me, now.”

Peter dropped his spoon, and looked at her, really looked at her. She made a good point. He hated that, because this situation was clearly different. Relationships were definitely more dangerous than his missions with the Avengers.

“I miss Ben too, but I have to start dating again sometime, you know?”

“I know,” said Peter. “Does it have to be this guy, though?”

May rolled her eyes, stood up and headed to her beloved coffee pot. “Give him a chance, Peter.”

“Okay.”

It wasn’t a complete lie. Peter would give him a chance, just as soon as he investigated and only if he couldn’t find anything on him. He hoped he would. His aunt deserved someone better than the idiot who talked only about himself all evening with a noodle hanging off his chin.

His investigation started later on that same day.

*

Peter sat cross-legged on the top of Otto’s apartment building while he ate his dinner, a slightly cold sandwich from Delmar’s. He picked it up on the way over, with the intention of being able to eat it when he got home, but this stake-out was taking longer than he expected. It only served to prove Peter’s suspicions. Otto was up to something nefarious. Obviously. There was no other reason for him to be away from his apartment all day long when he told May he was spending the day grocery shopping and doing laundry.

He waited hours on that rooftop, watching the city below him and listening to all its sounds, only to finally tire out and head back home empty handed. Without any evidence. He hadn’t been entirely sure what he expected to find there, anyway.

Peter crawled through his bedroom window, then heard it. He ditched his suit for regular clothes and discovered the reason Otto hadn’t returned home to his apartment. He was here. On the couch with May. Watching a movie with his arm around her.

“Oh hey, Peter,” said May. She paused the movie, and both pairs of eyes stared him down. “I didn’t know you were home. Do you want to watch this with us?”

“He probably doesn’t have the time,” said Otto. It was lighthearted, but it grated at Peter’s nerves.

He dismissed himself. Politely. He could foreign politeness just as well as Otto could pretend to be meek.

Peter paced in his room. Back and forth, back and forth, thinking fast and frantic. He stopped when his thoughts did, when his he lifted his head from staring at the floor and his eyes fell over to his desk drawer. A new idea, like a spark, sent him barreling to his knees in front of the drawer. He yanked it open and searched through it, pulling out papers and graded homework from years before as it did.

But it was useless. They were all gone. A tracker would have been perfect, would have done his job for him, but they weren’t anymore left. Not in his drawer, or in his suit.

There was one more option but asking Mr. Stark for more trackers invited his questions. He collapsed on his bed, realizing he didn’t have much of a choice, and put his scheme against Otto off until Saturday.

It rolled around fast, and Mr. Stark hadn’t been kidding when he told him he’d be helping him this time around. Within five minutes of his arrival at the workshop, the two of them were side-by-side, shoulders nearly touching, face-up underneath the frame of the car. He passed him tools, explained to him what did what, and what to screw and where. It was almost like having a dad again, and it pushed Otto and the tracker to the very back of his brain.

He just wanted to enjoy the moment.

But when there wasn’t May and her boyfriend to worry about, his mind reverted back to worrying over the moment he confessed to Mr. Stark MIT wasn’t happening.

Thinking about not going ached like regret. He wasn’t just disappointing Mr. Stark, but himself. As fall got closer and closer, he realized more and more MIT was the perfect place for him. He didn’t understand how Mr. Stark knew that long before Peter, but none of it mattered. It didn’t change anything. He still couldn’t go.

He already declined the offer, and there were two very good reasons that went into that decision. The first was Queens. His city still needed Spider-Man. The second was more important. He couldn’t leave May. Who else would investigate and stalk her boyfriends, or eat Thai food on the couch while watching trash reality TV?

A nudge on his shoulder broke him out of his thoughts.

“Let’s take a break,” said Mr. Stark. They both scooted out from under the car and sat up. Mr. Stark threw a rag at him. Peter used it immediately, wiping off the black smudges he felt on his cheeks, then his hands. “How’s the situation with May and the new boyfriend?”

“His name is Otto,” said Peter. “He’s a tool.”

“Otto, huh? No wonder why you don’t like him,” Mr. Stark stood and walked over to a stool where his phone sat, leaving Peter to sit on the floor, using his hands as props to support the rest of his body.

Peter stared at the back of Mr. Stark’s head while he strolled through his phone. He figured it was now or never. To ask about those trackers, not for the college confession. He still had a couple of weeks until he would need to disclose that information, and he planned to procrastinate as long as possible. He found his voice, though it wavered when his request was said out loud, causing Mr. Stark to turn around and look away from the phone in his hand.

“Why? What for?”

“To track… someone,” said Peter.

Mr. Stark tilted his head at him. Forget being trapped under buildings. He was eighteen years old and one look from him turned him back into a guilty first-grader. It ruled out the possible scheme of pretending to be in Massachusetts in the fall. He’d never be able to pull that off.

“I got that,” he said. “Who?”

“No one important.”

He made a face like he didn’t believe him but walked away and returned with a handful of the tiny trackers despite his unanswered questions. He passed them to Peter, who had to stand to collect them. He shoved them in the smallest pocket of his bookbag.

“So, what is it this time?” he asked. “Man who thinks he’s a bird? Another lizard guy?”

“Nothing that like.”

He made the same face. It was every bit pinched as it was disbelieving, as if there were questions beating down a wall in his mind. Old Mr. Stark didn’t have that wall. He wouldn’t sat him down and demanded to know exactly what the trackers were used for. New Mr. Stark, who was inspired either by Pepper or a therapist, maybe both, let it go. He asked questions. He pried, but he didn’t stop him from making his own mistakes.

Sometimes Peter missed the old version. He felt less guilty about lying to helicopter Mr. Stark.

“If you’re ever in over your head,” he said. He twirled a screw-driver in his hand. “I’m just a phone call away.”

Peter looked at him, really looked at him and saw the scruff, dirt and grime instead of the billionaire wearing a suit and sunglasses. It was the workshop effect. Everything became a little more real, a little more transparent under the grease and dust, and under the dim lighting, Mr. Stark was just someone who worried too much about the people he loved.

And also, someone who was getting better and better at heaping on the guilt without even trying to do it.

The golden opportunity to put a tracker on Otto presented itself later on that same evening. Him and May were close on the couch, in their usual positions, as Peter stomped through the living room, still covered in the grease and dust of the workshop and swallowing another bout of stomach acid. They didn’t notice him, so he didn’t even try to be discrete when he slipped a tracker inside the seams of Otto’s coat.

He shouldn’t have left it out in the open like that. Just hanging on a kitchen chair.

After that, all he needed to do was wait, and he didn’t even have to do that for very long.

Otto excused himself from their movie night unusually early. As soon as Peter heard the apartment door shut, he pulled his mask on and watched the blue dot which represented Otto move across the map. It didn’t go to the dodgy apartment building where he lived. It went to the labs where he worked. Awfully late to be going to work. Unless that was his angle. To access the lab when the rest of the employees weren’t around and couldn’t see what he was doing.

Only one way to find out.

He suited up and followed the beacon to the labs. He was done pretending to be polite, so slamming through one of the windows and shattering glass everywhere as he tumbled into the building didn’t seem like an imposition. No alarm sounded, either, which was an added bonus.

The last thing he needed was for him to be tipped off about Spider-Man’s arrival.

He followed faint noises to find Otto, and when he got to the room he was in, he crawled up the wall and stuck to the ceiling, watching upside down as Otto maneuvered around the lab, unaware of his presence. Nothing seemed special. Nothing seemed to catch Peter’s eyes, until Otto walked over to a place in the lab he wouldn’t have known to look if he hadn’t gone over there.

He strapped himself into a harness, and from that harness, gained four new arms. Mechanical ones, with claws at the ends of them, and they were snapping. It concerned Peter that all four of them were extending upward, in his direction, but in retrospect it probably should’ve concerned him a little bit more. It just took one sudden movement, one metal tentacle shooting up fast and abrupt inches from where Peter hung to send him somersaulting to the ground.

He stuck the landing with his shoulders stuck out for balance, and looked up, looked into the eyes of Otto Octavius and saw the same something nefarious he saw the first time he met him. Granted, it was hard to take seriously with four mechanical claws floating around and snapping at him.

“What are you supposed to be?” asked Peter. Maybe Mr. Stark wasn’t too far off with his guesses that had to do with animals. “An octopus?”

“Glad you could finally find the time to join me, Peter.”

“Wait, what –“

“You’re really not that great at keeping secrets,” said Otto. His eyes drifted off to the equipment to his left, then back to Peter. “So, I’m sure you’ll understand this isn’t personal. I just can’t have you running off and telling Iron Man about all this.”

It was over before it started. While Peter was busy looking at all the things Otto didn’t want to Mr. Stark to find out about. He didn’t know what they were, or what they did, or why it would mean trouble for him if Iron Man discovered it, but that didn’t stop him from attacking.

Fast and abrupt just like the first time. He managed to dodge the first, but the second caught him in his belly and swatted him against the wall. He crashed to the floor, awkward and ungraceful, and thanks to his upgraded hearing, could hear the bone in his leg snapping before he even felt it. But the pain did come and distracted him from the third metal arm that lifted him up and pinned him against the wall.

It was Otto’s real hands that punched him, hit him hard in the stomach, on the face, but all Peter felt was the pain in his leg. He kept his focus there when the punching stopped, when Otto’s hands came up around his neck and cut off his air supply.

He was about to get killed by a man who couldn’t eat without getting food on his face.

That’s when he heard it. The gloriously familiar sound Iron Man made when he hovered, followed by his voice.

“Get your grubby tentacles off my kid, kraken.”

Peter was dropped to the floor, on his pitifully broken leg, but he felt better than fine. For all the aches and pains, even the stabbing one in his leg, he knew this was a fight that wouldn’t last long, either. There was no stomach acid as he watched Otto attempt to smack Iron Man around with those ridiculous metal arms. Mr. Stark wasn’t distracted, was ready for it and simply blasted him away with his repulsor beam. He flew across the room, crashed into the wall the same way Peter had and thudded to the floor.

Mr. Stark wasn’t done, though, even if Otto was no longer in any condition to fight. He didn’t stop until every single one of the metal arms were disbanded, snapped in half or otherwise disposed, and it isn’t until Otto is knocked unconscious that Mr. Stark lands next to Peter.

“Mr. Ssstark –“ said Peter. “I - I didn’t call.”

“Yeah, well, you’re just lucky you weren’t the only one tracking someone tonight, kid,” he said. He kneeled down next to him. “What’s the damage?”

“Leg’s broken.”

He felt the pain then, all at once, as if saying it out loud made it present. He gasped, and Mr. Stark winced. He turned his head, leveled another glare at Otto, and for a second, Peter thought he might go back over there, kick him while he’s down and unconscious, but the moment passed. Mr. Stark wrapped his arm around Peter’s shoulder’s, and very carefully, put his other arm under his legs, eventually scooping him off the ground.

Any energy he usually would have spent protesting being carried is focused towards the pain radiating throughout his body. He shut his eyes and hoped to pass out while they went soaring into the night’s sky.

*

They put him on painkillers.

Mr. Stark’s medical team were quick about that one, and the drugs were fast. They were both speedy and strong. He didn’t remember much about the process of having his leg set and casted, but he did remember voices murmuring up above him. He couldn’t quite hold on to them, but they were talking, amazed, about his healing abilities. It would take just a couple of days for his leg to be back to normal, and less than that for the bruises to disappear.

Until then, however, he was laid up on Mr. Stark’s couch. His leg was propped up, in a blue cast and there were lots of pillows supporting his back, so he could sit up without effort. Everything came back into focus. The blurriness in his head cleared up as the pain started to trickle back in. Then he remembered.

He had just one concern.

“I need to call May,” said Peter, and to his shock, a voice answered back.

“Already done.”

He slowly, carefully, turned his head and saw Mr. Stark in the recliner, staring at him.

“Don’t worry,” he told him. “I broke the news to her about the octopus, too.”

“Is he –“

“-He’s alive,” said Mr. Stark. “Uh, he just won’t be doing very much for a while, and he definitely won’t be calling your aunt back.”

Relief flooded through muscles that should’ve ached. Mission accomplished, but it didn’t feel as good as he thought it would. It sort of sucked, actually. That May started dating again just to get stuck with Otto. That her happiness got delayed again. It only served to reinforce his already made-up about staying in the city for school.

He looked at Mr. Stark. It was the perfect time for the truth about college. While he was drugged out and the consequences didn’t seem as bad, and while he was bruised and broken to the point Mr. Stark would feel guilty if he started to yell.  

“I have to tell you something,” said Peter.

Mr. Stark looked up from his phone and didn’t miss a beat. “I already know you think you’re not going to MIT, Peter.”

Maybe it was still the drugs, but he didn’t quite catch what was said, or at least the implication behind what was said.

“W-what?”

“You’re a terrible liar,” he said. “And I knew you would end up getting cold feet, so I paid someone at the admissions office to keep an eye out for your acceptance status. When you declined, idiot move by the way, I just had the evidence destroyed and sent in the deposit for your first semester instead.”

It was said so simply. As if it were completely normal behavior to employ spies at a university, and as if semesters at MIT were cheap. This was helicopter Mr. Stark. He never really left. He just tried to change during the moments that really mattered, or the ones that didn’t. Peter couldn’t figure out which way it went, but either way, he felt the only appropriate reaction was anger. Only as much anger as the medication would allow, though.

He still felt pretty fuzzy.

“…you can’t just do that,” said Peter. “You can’t just accept on my behalf and force me to go.”

“Sure I can, I already did.” said Mr. Stark. He leaned back in the recliner. “Tell me that you really don’t want to go. Convince me, and I’ll pull my deposit and put it towards a school closer to home.”

Peter didn’t say anything. He couldn’t. He, apparently, wasn’t capable of lying even without the drugs, so he didn’t see a point in trying. All that was left was the truth.

“I can’t leave May, or Queens.”

“Your aunt is more than capable of protecting herself,” said Mr. Stark. “And you know she wouldn’t want you to sit out of college her behalf. She would never forgive herself, and besides, I’ll still be here.”

“Spider-Man –“

“-will take a break.”

Peter didn’t attempt anymore arguments. There wasn’t any Mr. Stark wouldn’t easily counter, and there wasn’t any energy left in him to try it. He was going to MIT in the fall. It was inevitable now, and different, because he could blame Mr. Stark for it every time he felt like it was selfish. It was a better gift than paying his tuition, really. That he could go to the college he wanted and push all the guilt on Mr. Stark for manipulating the situation.

He’d still feel bad about leaving Aunt May, of course, but he figured Mr. Stark was right. She would feel bad if he didn’t go, and he’d end up feeling terrible either way.

The conversation was officially over, so Mr. Stark provided him with more painkillers, a cold-pack for his swelling eyes, a glass of water and a demand for him to get some rest. The pills made him sleep, and when he woke up, he felt better. Still hurt, but better than the night before. Well enough even to get up and try to move around on the crutches.

He found Mr. Stark in the workshop and stopped, sudden and shocked, at the shiny car sitting in the middle of the room.

“Mr. Stark,” said Peter. He leaned on the crutches, putting his full weight there instead of his good leg. “How long was I asleep?”

“Just the night,” said Mr. Stark. “And half the day. Why?”

“What is that?”  

“Your car,” he said. “Don’t you recognize it?”

“No. This… this can’t be the same car.”

The car they’d be working on was rusty and falling apart despite all their effort. This one looked new and fast.

“Maybe I put some custom parts in it,” he said. There were a few seconds of silence. “Maybe I put a lot of custom parts in it.”

“May’s going to flip.”

“She’s not going to be thrilled about those bruises, either, genius, but I figured it’ll be better if we get it over with all at the same time.”

Peter nodded, and Mr. Stark was correct. She wasn’t thrilled with his broken leg, or his black-eyes and bruises. He had returned to the couch in the penthouse living room when she arrived. She sat next to him, looking him over, and apologized.

“I should’ve known,” she said. “I’m so sorry, Peter.”

Hearing her apologize hurt worse than any of his injuries. This one was Peter’s fault. Otto turned out to be crazy only by chance. He only stumbled into some scheme he didn’t even understand, and next time, he knew that wouldn’t be the case. That eventually May would date someone normal, who wasn’t Ben, and he’d have to accept that, from miles away in Massachusetts.

Thanks to Mr. Stark’s meddling he didn’t have much time left in Queens. Just a few weeks.  

“I’m sorry too,” said Peter. “I promise I won’t go all Mr. Stark on you next time you date someone… unless there really is –“

May narrowed her eyes.

“I promise I won’t stalk your next boyfriend.”

“That’s all I can ask for,” said May. She looked around the big, empty living room. “Where’s Tony? He said he had something to show me…”

Peter happily directed her to the workshop, happy for once someone else was in trouble and not him. That he had nothing to do with the under authorized upgrades on his graduation present. He watched her disappeared into the elevator, preferring the couch over front seats to seeing May berate Mr. Stark about the car. He needed the rest to heal, and anyway, he was pretty sure he’d be able to hear the shouting that he knew was coming.

[disappearinginq]

New Bad Things Happen Chapter

This, no lie, took me since February. God knows why in the hell I decided surfing was the topic to write on when I’ve done it a whopping total of once, in very shallow and cold water in the North east, but it came about with a prompt from @blazeofobscurity about wanting to see Magnum get to be the one to save Rick, so....ta da! (ending still feels rushed, but YOU KNOW WHAT? IT’S DONE.

Also here: Bad Things Happen on AO3

and here: Bad Things Happen on FFN

Juliet didn’t regret a lot of things in life. Not her service in MI6, not taking up Masters on his job offer as a majordomo, or meeting Richard. And lately, she didn’t even mind Magnum and the shenanigans he dragged her into. Not that she’d ever say it out loud, but it was…nice, getting out of the compound and doing something that was more meaningful than running facial recognition on the UPS delivery driver.

She was, however, having serious doubts about taking up Magnum’s invite to come surfing at Sandy Beach Park.

“Come on, Higgy!” Magnum had protested, putting on his best smile as he grabbed his board from the boat house. “It’ll be fun!”

She’d tried to gracefully bow out of it. “I’m paid to watch the estate, and it’s a little hard to do when not actually here.”

Magnum glanced down at the two Dobermans. “What the hell are they for if they can’t watch the house without you?”

As if sensing Magnum was complaining about them, Apollo growled, pinning his ears. Magnum responded by sticking his tongue out.

“Stop antagonizing them, and they’ll stop growling at you,” she reprimanded, continuing on before he could protest about it not being his fault. “And besides, the lads are fine on their own, but it’s still working hours, and I’m not paid to go to the beach.”

Thomas raised an eyebrow at that. “By that logic, you shouldn’t leave the property, ever, and you do it plenty when you’re helping me with a client.”

“Oh, is that what you call it?” she asked archly.

He frowned, like he wasn’t entirely sure what else it could be. “Well…yeah. I mean, if you really don’t want to come chase down bad guys or investigate cases, then fine. I’ll stop asking. But you seem to have fun when you do, so I keep inviting you.”

She felt herself blush. She really didn’t mean to be so standoffish with him, it was just…self-defense on her part. She was a spy – ex, or not, it meant she had trust issues. There were no such thing as genuinely good people in her line of work, and after Richard, she just…couldn’t stand the idea of losing someone she cared about again. Even as a friend. So it just seemed easier to not have any.

Robin accused her of being a recluse, and she hadn’t argued, because she couldn’t. And in her less than charitable moods, she wondered if part of the reason Robin invited Magnum to stay in the guest house was because he full well knew that Magnum would suck her into his orbit and force her to get out of the house.

“Look, if you really don’t want to come, then that’s fine,” Thomas said. He pulled his board down from the top shelf. “You don’t have to. But just remember – you’re an employee, not a prisoner. You’re entitled to have some fun every once in a while.”

He’d left then, heading to the front gate where Rick and TC were supposed to be coming to pick him up – the Ferrari wasn’t exactly built for strapping down surf boards before heading out to the beach. The estate had a decent swimming beach, but given the sheltered cove, the waves were minimum at best. Not even good for body surfing, unless there was a storm moving in.

She’d eyed the other boards on the rack. There was at least a half dozen more. They hadn’t been taken out or used the entire time she’d been majordomo at the Nest.

Something in the way that Thomas said ‘not a prisoner’ made her finally give in. She didn’t delve into the psychology of it at the moment – she was too busy grabbing a board of her own and catching up to Magnum to see if he would wait for her to change to dwell on it.

There was just something…off…about it.

It hardly mattered. By the time they’d arrived at the beach, she’d completely forgotten about it.

Because somehow, she hadn’t really thought this through.

She’d never been surfing. Never had the desire. She liked snorkeling and diving and shell collecting. She watched a surf competition once since she moved here, and after seeing three competitors eliminated for near drowning, breaking boards and bones, she decided Americans (and Australians) were crazy, and she wanted no part of it.

But at the same time, it was nice to be included in something that didn’t involve bullets, breaking and entering, high speed chases, and, inevitably, the police.

She’d made her peace with the fact that she was just going to enjoy the beach. She didn’t have to surf, right? She could just sit and watch from the board and not try to bludgeon her own skull in trying to catch an adrenaline rush.

She made it midway out – just past the close-to-shore breakers, but not nearly far enough out she would bother the more experienced surfers, and from here, she could see where the waves were breaking and easily avoid them. Observation was a part of learning, right? She could just treat this like another mission. Yeah. That’s what she would do. Observe.

It was fun to watch though.

Magnum was never the type to take anything too seriously, and while other surfers at least tried to ride the waves, he was all over the place – half the time he didn’t bother to stand, or…surf, really. At least, not what she called surfing. While everyone else made a concentrated effort to stay on their boards, Magnum seemed to be having way more fun falling off. His grin was wide enough she could see it even from where she was floating, and while she couldn’t hear him over the waves, she could tell he was having a fantastic time.

Rick had a balance and ease with his board, she felt a pang of jealousy. While not reckless like Magnum, he could shoot through the waves with envious precision. She had a vague memory of him mentioning having spent time in Hawaii before he’d ever joined the military, and she could easily picture the man as a teen on the beach with a girl on each arm.

She was so preoccupied watching those two, and the dozen or so other surfers out enjoying the gorgeous weather and waves, that she didn’t notice someone come up beside her until he spoke.

“So…” TC said conversationally, “you come out all this way to hang out by yourself in No Man’s Land?”

She would deny the startled scream until her dying day.

It was made slightly better by the fact that TC was not expecting her reaction and jumped enough that he wound up flipping his board and himself.

After apologizing profusely, turning ninety shades of red after he came back up sputtering and looking indignant, she couldn’t help but laugh.

It was something just so normal. She’d forgotten what that was really like.

“I’m sorry, TC, I didn’t mean…” she smothered a snicker behind a hand when he shot her a teasing glare as he made a show of uselessly ringing out his rash guard.

“Yeah, yeah. Sure you are. You always wound this tight?”

She shrugged helplessly. “I like to think not, but…”

TC smirked. “Uh huh. So lemme ask you a question, Juliet Higgins. Why’d you let Thomas drag you out here if you’ve never been on a board before?”

She ducked her head, wincing as she looked back up at him. “Is it that obvious?”

TC chuckled. “Only ‘cause it’s you. If you had any idea what you were doing, you’d be out there snaking and shredding waves. So. What’s the deal?”

It was moderately aggravating how often these three men could knock her off balance. She was so used to dealing with subversive facts and lies of omission that their candidness made her trip over her prepared responses. But familiar as she was with trading lies for lies, she couldn’t do it face to face with honesty.

As she floundered for a response, TC took pity on her.

“Lemme guess. You got bored with being cooped up at that fortress of Robin’s that you agreed to the first non-case related thing Thomas invited you to without really thinking things through?” he guessed.

“Something like that,” she admitted. “I’ve never surfed. Never had the desire. And then, whenever I considered it…”

TC hummed in agreement. “Yeah. When Orville brought it up the first time, the first thing I did was look it up on YouTube. And then I decided that man was crazy, and clearly trying to kill me. Took him about…oh, I dunno…three hours before he turned to blackmail to get me in the water. But here I am today.”

She smiled at that.

“You know, you could ask Rick to teach you.”

Juliet snorted. “No, thank you. I’ll…just watch for now. I don’t quite feel like making myself look the fool today.”

A loud shout from the waves turned both their heads as Magnum rocketed through barrel of one of the larger waves, form perfect as he crouched low over the board, balancing with his hand trailing through face as the wave curled behind him, only to purposely zag sideways, spinning wildly in a hard right turn, throwing himself off the board in a dive.

TC just shook his head. “Don’t seem to bother him any,” he said, nodding towards where Magnum disappeared beneath the waves, his board tumbling through the white water as it crashed. “He knows damn well how to surf.  He’s just having fun now. I am in fact 99% positive he’s a fish.”

“Only 99?”

“Waiting on DNA results.”

Juliet laughed out loud at that one.

She was enjoying herself enough she actually almost missed Rick paddling by until he swerved mid stroke to swing in beside TC.

“So…” he drawled. “How’s it going?”

“Higgy doesn’t know how to surf,” TC explained before she could stop him. When he caught the death glare she was giving him, he shrugged unapologetically. “You act like we don’t know you, Higgy-baby. Like I said – if you had any idea what you were doing, you’d be showing it off by now.”

Higgins tried not to flush bright red at the insinuation that she was a show off. She liked being good at things. She was so used to people dismissing her off the bat that she felt like she had to show them what she could do. Did it really come off as showboating?

“You wanna learn?” Rick asked. “You do yoga every morning, so balancing isn’t going to be that much of an issue.” He paused, frowning. “Unless you have zero sense of rhythm, then you’re gonna spend most of the day trying not to drown. But we can start on the smaller waves if you want, just to get you standing.”

“I’m not sure it’s worth your time, Rick,” she tried. “Aside from snorkeling, aquatics aren’t really my area of expertise.”

Rick and TC exchanged looks before looking back to her in unison. It was actually a little unnerving watching them have a silent conversation like that.

“So what you’re saying is, if you’re not automatically good at something, it’s not worth doing?” asked TC.

“No…”

“Or do you seriously have that much of a hang up about learning in front of others? You think anyone cares?” Rick gestured to the small crowd out on the waves.

Sure, there were the ones out by the much larger waves, who clearly knew what they were doing, but they seemed to wipe out just as often as the ones on the smaller breaks nearer to shore. They were smiling, laughing…

Enjoying themselves.

“Having fun isn’t fatal,” Rick pointed out.

“Fun, no. Riding a bit of foam and plastic with nothing between you and a concussion except God’s grace is another matter entirely,” she pointed out.

Rick pushed himself up into a sitting position, straddling his board and easily balancing in the current. “Eh,” he shrugged. “Took me six months to learn to surf well enough I was confident enough to try the pipeline, and I was a teenager who lived on the beach with nothing else to do except practice.”  

“I can’t believe I’m letting you talk me into this,” Higgins groused.

“And I can’t believe you’ve lived in Hawaii for three and a half years and never been surfing,” Rick countered. “Today is full of surprises. Now, are you going to make an effort, or are you going to chicken out and go tanning with Kumu instead?”

Damn the man if he didn’t know exactly what button to push to convince her to at least try.

“Fine,” she agreed.

Rick smirked. “Wow. The wild enthusiasm there was a little stunning. Might want to tone it down a bit. Come on. We’ll practice in the smaller waves.”

An hour later, and sorer than she would’ve thought possible from trying to balance on a piece of plastic covered foam on waves preteens on boogie boards were having considerably better luck on, Juliet admitted temporary defeat and decided Kumu had the right idea: carbs, sunscreen, a good book and a beach towel on the warm sand.

She’d waved the guys off, emphasizing the temporary part of her acquiescence. They’d come to surf, not babysit, and she’d managed to at least finish on a high note, and that was good enough for her. No broken bones, no sand burn from wiping out in the shallows, and she even managed to ride one wave all the way into the beach.

Juliet found herself strangely – and pleasantly – surprised that the raucous cheering from both TC, Rick and the other practice surfers felt genuine.

And best of all, no one noticed just how poor a swimmer she actually was. She made a mental note to try swimming somewhere besides the protected cove at the Nest to improve herself before settling down on the sand beside Kumu’s chair.

“Oh look,” Kumu said, peering over her sunglasses with a smirk. “You aren’t allergic to fun.”

Juliet allowed herself a small smile before taking Kumu’s offered paperback – which was, of course, the second in the White Knight series, looking well worn and loved.

“Today is full of surprises,” she agreed.

&*&

“She seemed to improve,” Thomas commented as Rick and TC made their way back out to the lineup. The waves were getting bigger, but not dangerously so. Not as long as they avoided straying too far to the left of the beach where the volcanic rocks jutted up out of the sea, creating white wash and swirling eddies as the tide came in.

At least a dozen or so other surfers were out with them, waiting their turn for the next break.

“Well, when you start at rock bottom, there’s nowhere to go but up,” Rick said. “But she was at least more agreeable that TC here when I started teaching him.” He clapped his friend enthusiastically on the back with a wet smack. “Buddy.”

“You were decidedly less nice about teaching me, pal,” TC retorted with his own overly-‘affectionate’ clap that made Rick wince.

“You’re right,” Rick agreed. “Very unprofessional of me to resort to blackmail. E kala mai iaʻu. Forgive me?” He held up his hand for their familial high-five, innocently batting his eyes.

As soon as TC reached for him, Thomas could tell the exact moment TC realized his mistake. Too late. Rick grabbed him by wrist at the same time as he kicked the near side of TC’s board, flipping the larger man ass over teakettle into the water.

“And on that note, I see my wave – catch me if you can, old man!” Rick crowed, paddling off as soon as TC’s head cleared the surface, sputtering indignantly and glaring daggers at his retreating back.

“Yeah, you better run, Orville!”  

Magnum couldn’t help but laugh, even as he held TC’s board for him to easily slide back on. “Oh yeah. That was menacing. I’m sure he’s just quaking in his board shorts.”

“Shut it, TM.” TC jabbed a pointed finger at him. “Ya’ll yahoos are gonna turn me gray faster than you made Nuzo bald.”

Thomas sniggered. “You’d be distinguished…” he trailed off, watching Rick shoot for the upcoming swell. It would be a beauty – big enough he would be able to ride it into the shallows if he managed to catch it, and Magnum had yet to see him miss.

Except Rick wasn’t the only one aiming for it.

A man, probably in his upper forties who should’ve known better than to jump the line and snake a wave like that, was paddling just as hard for the wave, ignoring or oblivious to Rick several yards behind him.

It was like watching a train wreck in slow motion, and Thomas was moving before he even had time to process what he knew – that Rick wasn’t going to see the other surfer until it was too late, that the man was going to crumble the wave and Rick was going to wipeout much too close to the edge and go down in the soup and into the rocks and reef.

(*(

Rick didn’t even see the other surfer until the man stood on his board, appearing out of nowhere as far as Rick was concerned, too far out on the crest to be able to ride it well but close enough to ruin it for him.

“Hey, hey, hey!” Rick shouted, “I got it, I’m on it!”

The guy either didn’t hear, didn’t care, or didn’t know how to kick out, because he kept going.

“Move!” Rick shouted, cutting sharply to avoid ramming into the man. He managed to keep his balance, throwing his left hand high and his right down low to balance, as his legs bent and pushing the board forwards.

He might’ve made it, if the guy had any idea what he was doing and got out of the way, but he didn’t. Instead of swerving or kicking out over the back of the crest, he lurched sideways, crumbling the wave in front of Rick and snaking the wave out from underneath him.

Rick toppled backwards into the surf, his board flipping up over his head as he went down, hard, into the swell of the wave.

*&*

White wash was always disorienting. Up from down was impossible in the best of circumstances, and the waves were relentless, toppling anyone and anything ass over teakettle in whatever direction it could.

There was a reason why one avoided the rocks.

Rick opened his eyes against the stinging salt, looking for the bright of the sun to aim for but also immediately trying to aim away from where he knew he’d gone down. Current went in every direction, eddying around the shallows of ocean floor, the rocks and the incoming tide, spinning him about without time to even figure out up from down.

Time seemed to move really fast and yet really slow – he could feel the churn of the water, the pull of his tether on his ankle yanking him along with the board caught on the top of the wave as he went up and over in the barrel of the crashing wave – the white obscuring everything as he crashed into the rocks.

His chest slammed into one of the sharp volcanic rocks with enough force to knock the air from his lungs and reflexively suck in another breath.

Except he was still underwater.

And now he was actively drowning.

Reflex and instinct made him cough and choke to spit up the water except there was no air to replace it and the salt water burned like acid down his throat and into his lungs, panic kicking survival instinct into high gear and rationale to the curb. He lost track of the surface versus the floor, flailing in the churning surf until something caught his ankle, catching him in the barrel of another wave as the crest came down on him, slamming his head into the rocks.

*&*

Thomas abandoned his board, ripping the tether from his ankle as dove in – the last thing he needed was a buoy preventing him from diving attached to him.

The white water made it almost impossible to see.

Almost.

The water was clearer here in Hawaii than anything off the coast of Coronado or anywhere else he’d been diving. Even with the sting of salt in his eyes and the dark rashguard Rick had blending with the rocks, it was easy enough for him to pick his friend out of the soup.

The blood in the water helped.

So did the fact that he wasn’t being taken with the current – Magnum saw the tether line caught on a jagged outcropping still tied to Rick’s ankle. The board was gone or broken but the rope held fast, keeping Rick from reaching the surface, but at the same time, kept him in place for the incoming surf to basically body slam him into the rocks.

Swimming in the swirling eddies was probably suicidal by most standards. If Thomas stopped to think, he might’ve agreed.

It still wouldn’t have stopped him.

He grabbed onto Rick’s lifeless – don’t think that- body, wrapping himself around his friend’s torso and taking the brunt of the next wave, reaching for the diving knife he kept strapped to his leg any time he was in the water.

Thank god for old habits.

The knife sliced easily through rope, and suddenly they were tumbling free, the crest of the wave lifting them over the sharp volcanic rocks, even as they tumbled through the surf and across the rocks, the sharp edges and angles slicing through his rashguard and skin. It was like being caught in a never ending motorcycle crash and for a moment, the only thing Magnum could think of was the chopper crash in Afghanistan.

Now was not the time.

Small nicks and cuts were the least of his concerns, and he braced with his bare feet against the reef, bending his knees and craning his head back and over until he was curved almost in a perfect ‘c’, Rick still clutched in his arms as he moved with the wave instead of against it, angling sideways to bring them away from the reef edge.

His foot slipped, slicing open on the edge of the reef, careening them sideways instead of the angle he was hoping for, but they were cleared enough to make it out of the maelstrom and into the open water.  

Thomas’s head finally broke the surface and he sucked in a much needed breath. He hadn’t been down for long – less than a minute – but it seemed like ages, and it was even longer for Rick, who still wasn’t conscious. Thomas clutched him to his chest as he turned his back to the shore, keeping Rick’s head above water, tilted back against his shoulder as he swam sideways towards the beach.

There was yelling. It may have been directed towards him, but he wasn’t listening. At least not to them.

He was listening for any sign of life from his friend.

His feet hit the sand and he managed to half stand, half stumble onto the sand, coughing and choking even as he pressed two fingers to the side of Rick’s neck with almost bruising force.

Thready and thin, but still there. The gash across side of his head bled freely down the side of his face, the salt water mixing with the blood like a deranged water color painting, and the numerous tiny cuts started to bleed, too, and the skin around his head wound was already turning an angry red and purple bruise.

But Rick wasn’t breathing.

“Don’t you fucking dare,” Magnum snarled, immediately straddling Rick’s chest – he could hear Rick’s voice in his head mocking ‘people will talk’ – and starting chest compressions.

Fuck. What were the rules for CPR now? Was he still supposed to breathe for him? Or was that taking away from the circulation of blood and oxygen to the brain? Was it different for drowning?

Facts blurred along with his vision.

Sensory perception in shock was a bizarre thing. He could hear people. People he was sure he recognized but couldn’t name, the rush of the surf that still pulled at his feet and dragged the sand out from underneath them as it washed back out to sea, the pounding of blood in his own ears and his own ragged breathing.

All that noise and he couldn’t hear the one thing he wanted.

Rick.

“Goddammit, Rick, LIVE!” In a moment of pure spite and rage against the cosmos, he slammed his fist into Rick’s chest hard enough he heard a crack and suddenly Rick was jackknifing upwards, hacking and sputtering and choking, salt water and blood mixing together as Thomas grabbed him by his shirt sleeve and pulled him sideways to vomit up any water still in his lungs.

After a minute, Rick collapsed back onto the beach, groaning as he touched a shaky hand to the sizeable gash across his head. “Ow. Why does everything hurt? And why does my mouth taste like margarita Monday and the Sahara?”

He was alive. He was alive, alive, alive.

And yet…

And yet…

His fingers dug into material of Rick’s rash guard, trying to force himself to focus, to anchor himself here and now on the sand, trying not to stare at the swirl of red and sea water in the eddy of the encroaching tide washing out around them and the sun no longer felt warm on his back as the chill of the cave pressed in around them.  

Thomas shook his head.

Hawaii. Not Afghanistan. The ocean and a freak accident, not the purposeful slow drowning of water boarding. Rash guard, not BDU undershirt.

It was 2019. Not 2017.

They were fine. They were fine. Fine.

He didn’t even realize he wasn’t breathing right until someone grabbed his wrist, and he tried to yank it free but the hand followed easily.

“Hey, whoa there buddy…”

He bit his lower lip with enough force he tasted copper and iron mixed with the salt of the seawater still dripping down his face.

The grip on his wrist tightened to bruising force and he blinked, trying to focus on the fingers.

“Five things.”

Thomas’s attention snapped back to Rick, who was now looking at him with a mix of concern and knowing.

“You’re turning blue, Thomas. Take a breath. Five things.”

The inhale was sharp and stuttered, hardly enough to really count but he managed to blurt out: “The beach. The water. Black. Red. Hands.”

Rick nodded, wincing slightly. “Good. Four.”

Thomas dug his fingers into the sand beneath them. “The sand. The sun. The wind.” He felt something slowly start to uncoil from around his throat and for the first time in what felt like hours, he took a real breath. “You.”

“Three,” Rick prodded, his grip still bruisingly tight on Magnum’s wrist.

Thomas took another shuddering breath, closed his eyes, and concentrated. Auditory was always the sense he tripped over the most. “Gulls. The surf. People yelling.”

Rick smirked, and let his head drop bag against the beach, closing his eyes against the sun, humming in agreement. “I think that’s TC’s brand of worry. Two.”

“Someone’s grill. Salt. Though that might just be water up my nose.”

“Still counts. One.”

Thomas ran his tongue along the inside of his lip. “Blood.”

Rick cracked an eye open. “Not what I was hoping for, but you look about as bad as I feel so I’ll let it slide. You okay?”

Thomas touched a finger to the spreading bruise on Rick’s forehead, gently prodding at the deepening purple and blue, but he didn’t feel the give of broken bone. And Rick was awake, and lucid – which was more than he could say for himself -  which was a good sign.

“We should take you to the hospital,” he said, purposely ignoring the question. “Make sure your brain isn’t any more scrambled than it was.”

Rick grumbled under his breath. “I don’t need an MRI to tell you that it is. But if it’s all the same to you, any time you want to get off me would be great ‘cause I think you broke something with your oh-so-tender loving care.”

Most of Thomas’s weight was on his knees on either side of Rick, but he pushed himself to his feet anyway, offering a hand to his friend. “You need a hand?”

Rick sighed. “I’m collecting my thoughts. Debating if here is as good a place as any to die. The world is already spinning, and I don’t want to puke on a public beach. Just give me a Viking funeral.” Despite his protests, he held out both hands to Thomas.

As soon as he was upright though, he promptly turned his head to the side and dry heaved into the sand, one hand going to his ribs as the muscle contractions pulled painfully on the cracked ribs. “So glad we waited on lunch,” he gasped in between spasms. “Or this would really suck.”

Thomas couldn’t help the snicker. Gallows humor was Rick’s ‘process’.

They’d wound up on the wrong side of the rocks. Thomas hadn’t paid any attention to where he was going when he pulled Rick free of the board tether, just aiming for shore by any route necessary, which as far as he was concerned, worked in his favor. TC and Higgins were just now clambering over the sharp volcanic rocks that separated the swimming beach from the deadly reef and outcroppings.

Which meant no one saw how close a call it was.

After years of therapy, Thomas wasn’t exactly ashamed of panic attacks – not when in hindsight he could tell himself it was understandable for anyone to have issues in the same situation, but that didn’t mean he liked it advertised.

Especially not to Higgins.

The majordomo was starting to loosen up, but she still tended to nitpick and rail on anything she considered a fault of his, and sometimes…he really just didn’t want to give her another reason for thinking he was worthless.

“Can we down play this one?” Rick asked quietly. “Maybe just tell them about the concussion, and not the almost dying part?”

The look on TC’s face was all Thomas needed to agree. TC took ‘mother hen’ to a whole new level, but he was also the first to yell about foolish and reckless behavior – whether it was an accident or not – which was just how he dealt with stress. But sometimes it just came off like he was berating one of his kids for a stupid and avoidable incident.

“Sure,” Thomas agreed.

What was one more secret between them?

[cannabisrefugee-esq]

(via Antiauthoritarianism: Illustration via Juxtaposition.)

If the above vid is not the perfect illustration of concept I don’t know what is. This is the most recent YouTube upload by Royalty Soaps, what used to be a one-woman soapmaking business that has grown over several years into something else. The backstory here seems to be that at some point, the eldest yet still teenaged daughter in some freakishly large Quiverfull-type family consisting of a mother, a father and a dozen(ish) Irish twins* started making soap and with the help and support of that family has become very successful and has now delegated some of her substantial duties to others.

As described in this vid, this woman’s business recently experienced an unexpected and frightening setback and she relied heavily on her family to correct the situation and save the day, which they did in spades.  They also had the time, energy, material resources and desire to throw her an Insta-worthy backyard 25th birthday party in the midst of this family project.  The party was beautiful and the familial love and care given and received there, as documented in this vid…well watch it for yourself and see what you think.  For me, the experience of watching this was somewhat complicated.  I enjoyed it, was moved by it but it made me deeply uncomfortable and thinky…and hungry for salad, cake and sun tea.

What was so deeply disturbing to me about this footage was the backdrop against which it was shot and I’m not referring to her (albeit somewhat disturbing) home state of Texas, or a photo prop.  The backdrop here, as it is most everywhere, is the social context of capitalism and patriarchy and what that means is that, in order for this situation and this footage to exist, this woman has had to comply, comply, comply in order to reap what must be conditional rewards of love; affection; physical presence and caretaking; emotional care and concern; and finally, material things that, under the current system, really only money can buy.  Doesn’t it?  In her case, she has had to buy into the religious, political and social traditions of her family including the patriarchal authority of her parents, the heterosexual and mommy mandates and more in order to have what she has.  Of course, the traditions of her family mirror the traditions of her culture more or less exactly.

Luckily for her there does not seem to be any obvious conflict between her own values, conscience etc. and that of her family (or culture) but what if there was?  What would happen to her if she woke up one day with, say, environmental concerns implicating overpopulation and natalism, or economic concerns implicating capitalism and the money system and the ethics of making and selling soap (or doing anything) for profit?  What if, God forbid, this Quiverfull (or whatever) daughter woke up one day with feminist concerns which implicate all of that plus the destablization of the patriarchal authority of her father/parents, her husband, her church and the State?

Let’s talk about anitauthoritarianism for a bit.  Antiauthoritarians, as far as I understand, do not normally stand around trying to sip lemonade through twigs, pissing in the wind or paddling swamped canoes sideways upstream; antiauthoritarians accept some authority in other words, like natural authority/natural law including the laws of physics.  As described in this article from the Mad In America blog, antiauthoritarians just flatly reject illegitimate authority, or authority that appears to be illegitimate to them:

Anti-authoritarians question whether an authority is a legitimate one before taking that authority seriously. Evaluating the legitimacy of authorities includes assessing whether or not authorities actually know what they are talking about, are honest, and care about those people who are respecting their authority. And when anti-authoritarians assess an authority to be illegitimate, they challenge and resist that authority—sometimes aggressively and sometimes passive-aggressively, sometimes wisely and sometimes not.

People who do not or cannot accept what they see as illegitimate authority commonly become socially and financially disenfranchised leading to isolation and chronic poverty, homelessness and physical injury and disease.  Contributing to their disenfranchisement, they are also often diagnosed, by capitalistic patriarchal medical authority no less, as being mentally ill.  Which is exactly what authoritarian medical providers would tend to think of — and do to — anti-authoritarians innit.

In the case of the founder of Royalty Soaps, she seems to be doing quite well for herself, as far as we know is happy, healthy, and (therefore implicitly) socially, mentally, emotionally, intellectually and materially well-supported.  But what did it take for her to get there?  Under the current system of capitalism and patriarchy, since she is not particularly disenfranchised I think we can infer at least that either she is an authoritarian or that she is an antiauthoritarian who has decided that capitalistic and patriarchal authority is legitimate.   Can’t we?  I suspect that she is an authoritarian but even if she isn’t, in either case, she has been willing and able to take direction and correction from (for example) a serial impregnator (her father), a domesticated/patriarchal woman (her mother), an entitled male child (her young husband) and others with such dubious credentials and she seems to be fine with this.  To be fair, her parents and family do seem to be nice people.

Funnily enough, in this vid we also see her taking direction and correction directly from the capitalistic patriarchal State by way of the town’s Fire Marshall who evicted her noncompliant workspace from her property, but if she ever wakes up with antiauthoritarian tendencies and an anticapitalist or pro-feminist bent the Fire Marshall — or even the State — will be the least of her problems.

The concept of antiauthoritarianism under conditions of capitalism and patriarchy has given me much food for thought and insights into my own life and struggles as a feminist woman in a capitalist patriarchy: I am pretty obviously an antiauthoritarian myself and have been unable to consistently take direction and correction from patriarchal authority which I have deemed illegitimate on its face.  Of course, under a more or less global social system founded on patriarchy ALL social authority is rather inherently patriarchal isn’t it.  That explains a lot.

I simply cannot take impregnators and oppressors of women or their authority seriously, I cannot take patriarchal handmaidens and/or domesticated women and their authority seriously.  If some fucking porn addicted greasy manager/patriarchal enforcer/capitalist/prick says or implies that I have to do thus and so or else I will become homeless and raped (disenfranchised in other words) I have always had a serious problem with that.**  I don’t know why more people don’t, except that they are either authoritarians, or antiauthoritarians who think the authority of porn addicted greasy pricks is rooted in something legitimate.  Some people probably do think that, yes.  But I don’t.  And “authoritarian” is not that great of a thing to be.

au·thor·i·tar·i·an adjective favoring or enforcing strict obedience to authority, especially that of the government, at the expense of personal freedom.

“the transition from an authoritarian to a democratic regime”

synonyms:  autocratic, dictatorial, totalitarian, despotic, tyrannical, autarchic, draconian, absolute, arbitrary, oppressive, repressive, illiberal, undemocratic, antidemocratic

noun an authoritarian person. synonyms:  autocrat, despot, dictator, tyrant, absolutist.

*The youngest sibling, a toddler girl, was born with Down’s Syndrome and has leukemia for which the parents are subjecting her to chemo and radiation treatment. On that basis alone some people would start to seriously question the values and customs of this family and this culture but this woman doesn’t.  Not yet anyway.

**I don’t have any problem avoiding homelessness by, say, not playing with fire, not living on a flood plain if I can help it (learned that one the hard way) or not disassembling my home with a screwdriver and selling the pieces for scrap.  That means something.  And the sicker I get, not-doing things — as opposed to doing things — is about the best I can do anyway.

Comments Open.

[lemonjamblog-blog]

Why I love Amanda Palmer

“Necks are cracking sideways, hit me from the back side, I am on the white side, you are on the black side”

One of my earliest memories- and one of the most random memories I have- is dancing around to Gravity by The Dresden Dolls, mumbling the words until the whole white side/black side part, because that was really the only thing my 3 year old mind could comprehend at the time. All I knew back then was that I liked the way it sounded, and I loved to dance to this song. 13 years later, I’m still jamming to that song, and dancing with the same skill level my younger self had.

Amanda Palmer has been a very constant voice in my household. My parents love her music, my dad introducing my mom to the Dresden Dolls. When Palmer broke off into her own solo music, we stuck around and have been enjoying her music since.

I started listening to her on my own when Theatre is Evil was relatively new. I remember listening to Olly Olly Oxen Free on my little Disney MP3 player every single day on the bus. As much as my 10 year old self overplayed that song, it still remains my favorite off the record. Coming in a close second is Trout Heart Replica, and third would be The Killing Type. This time of my life was really when I started listening to music on my own, rather than in my parent’s car, and I’m glad Theatre is Evil is one of the first albums I indulged in.

2014. Her song Ukulele Anthem inspired my mom to buy her own little 20 dollar purple ukulele, one which I was not supposed to touch. I still did though, and eventually showed my mom I learned how to play the song that started it all. Since she, in her own words, has no musical talent, gave me the ukulele. I learned so many songs on that little thing. When I was 13 I got another uke, which got broken when some kid with the IQ of the end piece in a loaf of bread pushed me. My parents were angry, but they got me another one. I’m forever grateful for that, because now it’s my main ukulele. A mint green Makala named Collin Johnny, after the Greenwood brothers from Radiohead. My purple one is named Amanda Dorothy, after Amanda Palmer and Dodie Clarke. I learned all of Amanda Palmer Goes Down Under, and still know most of those songs.

Then, 2019 came. There Will be no Intermission dropped. The first song I heard was Voicemail for Jill, and I sat and cried. I cried a LOT for someone who hasn’t had to experience an abortion, which was what the song is about. The raw emotion and heart put into that song is truly amazing. Then, I finally listened to the whole album. I listened to Machete over and over and over again. It’s a beautiful and powerful song about Amanda and her late best friend, Anthony. The song reminds me of my belated friend, who committed suicide in January of 2017. Though it’s a different situation, it still makes me think of her, and gives me some hope and helps me keep our memories alive through music.

On March 21st I was lucky enough to get to see Palmer perform live on her solo tour. She started off the show with her song Judy Blume, and immediately tears were pouring out of my eyes. I was seeing my role model play live. It was crazy. She told us stories of being a teenager, abortions, visiting a prison, and about her kid. We got a really emotional story about her first abortion and all that, then she played her really fun song Oasis. The subject of the song definitely isn’t fun, but it’s totally a rockin song. That concert made me experience a range of emotions, and it was beautiful.

Then, she played Machete. I cried every last tear out of my body. It was amazing. When the song ended, it was silent except for my mom thanking her and me completely breaking down sobbing. I still cannot believe that moment was real. She stood up when she was playing, she got so into it, and I was just completely awe-struck.

She told us a story about how she had a miscarriage in her hotel room in a freezing cold night. It was very sad, but she followed this up by playing Let it Go from Frozen. It was the funniest thing that I’ve ever seen. My parents were cracking up, and people were looking at them like psychos, but they didn’t seem to care. It was HILARIOUS, especially given I have a younger sister who would literally play that movie 3 times a day for a solid year once we got it on DVD.

That concert also gave me a chance to meet a very sweet lady from Planned Parenthood, as they had a booth set up there. Emily, if you’re reading this, thank you for existing. You rock. I got some cool PP gear and proudly wear my pins on my backpack walking around my high school in my relatively conservative hometown.

So basically, Amanda Palmer changed my life. She’s super open, emotional, and quite frankly does not care what people think of her, and that’s very admirable to me. She’s one of the reasons I’m able to fight for what I care about, because that’s what she does and she makes me feel like I can do the same.

Here are some songs I’d reccomend by her

Machete

Drowning in the Sound

Another Year

Olly Olly Oxen Free

Trout Heart Replica

The Killing Type

Strength Through Music

In My Mind

Bad Wine and Lemon Cake

Also, if you can, I highly reccomend reading her book The Art of Asking and checking out her TED talk, which can be found on YouTube.

[mochibuni]

I watch a lot of YouTube, and I think some great and quality YouTube channels, and I really feel like putting out some goodness today. So here is a list of my YouTube watch list, with descriptions and why I think they're worth watching. Updated 3/16/2020.

GAMING

brutalmoose - Ian's reviews tend to be around edutainment games and old PC games, which he delivers his brand of comedy in a dry and deadpan tone. Which is hilariously contrasted by the comedic editing of his videos, some the most creative I've ever seen. I can't even adequately describe a typical video from him, other than it's creative and hilarious. I enjoy his style so much that I'll watch his reviews on 60/70's educational films.

The Completionist - Once a week Jirard chronicles his journey and struggles in 100% completing a video game. His reviews are earnest with a touch of comedy, but largely trying to accurately convey the sense of the game and his experience with it. He does, however, make bad decisions like 100% completing Hyrule Warrios and Fire Emblem Blazing Sword, which of course it's fun to laugh at his agony.

Game Theory - I usually stick to MattPat's videos, but all of them are quality in both editing and substance. However I enjoy MattPat's style and delivery the most. Even if I 100% don't agree with his theory, I 100% enjoy listening and watching him talk about it. He has energy and a great sense of humor, his voice really sells what he's presenting, but I also find a kind of mellowness to it that I enjoy just listening to. He also hosts a live stream with his wife playing games together, and they are adorable to watch.

Kshaway - If you're a League player, you probably already know about Kshaway. He makes the Wood Division series, chronicling everyone and his own fails and bugs with the game. His video style has no voice overs, just well timed music and text for the punch line.

Did You Know Gaming? - They do what they say, offering 5 to 10 minute videos with lesser known facts and production history on video games.

Pokemon Rusty - Made by Dorkly, this is a parody series following Pokemon trainer Rusty as he attempts to become a Pokemon Master in all the wrong ways. It is graphic with very adult humor, but I laugh ridiculous amounts at each video.

MOVIES AND TV

Film Theory - The sister channel to Game Theory and it does the same thing, only this time it’s about tv shows, movies, and web series (remember Salad Fingers? Mattpat made a great video series about it). They also do Did You Know Movies from time to time.

Be Kind Rewind - One of my new faves, she follows the history and culture surrounding movies by discussing female Oscar wins and their cultural significance.

Folding Ideas - Foldable discusses film theory and larger themes usually with movies. His 50 Shades series is probably my favorite, followed by how he accidentally made colonialism in his Minecraft server.

Jenny Nicholson - It’s like listening to your best fandom friend rant and rave with you at 3am in your bedrooms. Jenny has a very lowkey tone and attitude wrapped in a very silly and dry sense of humor. She talks about movies and theme parks. Her review of Avatar Land is probably my favorite.

Lindsay Ellis - I’m not even sure where to being with Lindsay’s work, I adore every video she’s made thus far. It is all film critical theory, but like talking to your smart and sarcastic fandom friend who goes out of their way to explain critical theory concepts.

New Rockstars - These are the guys going over every trailer, every second of a movie looking for easter eggs and fodder for their theories. Really great if you’re into superhero blockbuster movies.

OTHER MEDIA

Comicstorian - I love this channel, they break down comics (either series or single issues) and read them dramatically with visuals. Periodically they also give complete histories of comic book characters, especially when there is a universe reboot.

NerdSync - Somewhat similar to Comicstorian, NerdSync delves into the history and stories of comic books. They’ve moved down the path of being more history based, which is great for me since I know little about the American comic book industry. 

Sideways - Remember the music theory video about singing in native languages using Moana as an example? Yeah it’s this guy’s channel, and while he has few videos, all of them are great. My favorite is his analysis of Rogue One’s score.

Atop the Fourth Wall - Linkara reviews comic books, but I largely come here to watch his retrospectives on Power Rangers.

THEME PARKS

Magic Journeys - Largely a Disney centric channel, Mig V and Lovely Jannell explore any and all types of food at the Disney parks, largely sprinkling their videos with relevant Disney history. They’re expanding to other parks in the area, but Disneyland and California Adventure are where they film. Mig edits their videos wonderfully and I greatly appreciate the bits of history he provides. Jannell also makes sure to try a variety of dishes for those with dietary restrictions and has recently branched out into trying kid’s meals. They also started a Disney Foodie group on Facebook.

Defunctland - This channel talks about the history of now defunct theme park rides.

Theme Park History - This channel also talks about theme park history, defunct or currently running.

Expedition Theme Park - Okay sometimes you just need multiple channels of the same content. Another theme park history channel.

FOOD/COOKING

Laura in the Kitchen - Laura cooks largely easy to make, no hassle meals and deserts, and is warm and personable at the same time. I’ve tried many of her recipes and each have come out very well. I also find Laura very endearing, with her genuine love of food and cooking coming through in every video.

Maangchi - Maangchi is the adorable and sweet host of her Korean based cooking channel. She provides step by step instructions, with tips and tricks, on several Korean dishes. She also talks about her time in Korea, relating dishes to stories of her life there. I have made several of Maangchi’s recipes as well, but I’d watch just about anything from her as she’s sweet, funny, and has a soothing presence to her. She’s basically everyone’s Korean Mom.

Strictly Dumpling - Mike Chen talks all about his favorite Asian food, largely Chinese, as he travels around exploring and eating at Asian restaurants. And when I say Chinese, I mean that he talks specifically about provinces and the differences and types of food each have. He also has a variety of cooking videos and traveling videos. Mike is informative, energetic, and hilarious, with a little bit of Chinese humor peppered in that makes Dan laugh.

How To Cake It - If you’ve seen the gif set of the realistic watermelon cake, then you know what Yolanda can do. She makes elaborate cakes ranging from multi-tier to recreating non-cake objects. Yo gives step by step instructions on how she makes her cakes and also sells baking supplies and cake inspired shirts on her website.

Binging with Babish - A charming and dead pan cooking series recreating food from various media. This channel became a must for Dan based on the sense of humor alone.

Destination Flavour - A mini series that aired in Australia, you can find the whole series on YouTube and I highly recommend it. Chef Adam Liaw travels to 9 different prefectures in Japan exploring the local food, culture, and recipes.

Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner - An older documentary about the history of breakfast, lunch, and dinner in Britain, also all on YouTube. I love this documentary, it’s very thorough and I learned tons about British food and eating customs that of course influenced my own culture.

Lofty Pursuits - Based in their candy store in Florida, watch the workers at Public Displays of Confection make pulled hard candy.

ARIKITCHEN - A Korean baker with super cute bakes and a personality to match. Most of her videos have English subs.

Christy Carlson Romano - THAT’S RIGHT, REN STEVENS/KIM POSSIBLE HAS A YOUTUBE CHANNEL! It’s usually cooking videos where she invites celebrities she’s worked with to make fanservicey foods.

CULTURE

CGP Grey - This channel is rarely updated, but goes in depth into cultural and political ideologies and misunderstandings in an easy to understand way. His videos are worth a watch if you’ve ever been confused about “once removed” family members or don’t understand how the electoral college works in America.

Begin Japanology - An ongoing NHK series exploring Japan, each 30~ minute video explores one item in depth, from sushi, to mushrooms, to the importance of umbrellas in Japan. These videos are in English and are also dubbed, though many of them have deleted audio in places due to copyright restrictions.

Japanology Plus - The sequel and current version of Japanology that continues to explore Japan and sometimes revisit old videos to update them.

Lunch On! - Also provided by NHK, it explores what the Japanese eat for lunch and the history and culture surrounding those dishes. The segments also tend to explain and explore the background of the people they’re following for lunch, such as the balloon industry or bus scheduling.

ARIRANG TV - A Korean channel, it provides a variety of subbed and dubbed videos about Korea. I usually just watch the food videos, but they also have videos about current affairs, media, and variety programs.

Crash Course - If you haven’t seen this show before, it’s mini video essays hosted by John Green discussing history, literature, science, and so on.

MISC

Buzzfeed Unsolved - Another Buzzfeed series, this time exploring the supernatural with a believer and a non-believer. This series is just hilarious, the supernatural cases are presented in a matter of fact way with visuals, but often intercut with commentary from the two about the cases that brings a nice comedic tone to the otherwise serious video.

Bright Sun Films - Jake’s current video series explores buildings and establishments that were abandoned, their history, as well as projects that were cancelled. Most videos are about the Disney Corporation, but also include Target in Canada, Blockbuster, and the McDonald’s Barge. His videos are well researched, great visuals, and his voice and personality are great to listen to.

AKB48 - 48g is one of the biggest music franchises in Japan, based on the idea of Idols You Can Meet. Since the COVID outbreak in Japan, AKB has been streaming their daily theater show on YouTube. If you want to relax to some cute Japanese pop for a few hours, check out their VODs.

Laura Price - Laura is a professional artist and most of her videos are either about her life as an artist or tips and tricks on art.

Royalty Soaps - Soap making! I find Katie really relaxing to watch and listen to, and she often talks about her soap making process.

Safiya Nygaard - Quirky and adventurous, Safiya tends to make beauty and fashion try videos, and some travel videos as well. Safiya is probably one of those YouTubers you need to watch a video of to see if you’ll like because her channel is all about her and her husband’s Tyler’s personality.

The Try Guys - Four very different guys who try things together. I’m assuming you all know who the Try Guys are, but.

Watcher - Shane, Ryan, and Steven left Buzzfeed to make their own video channel and brought many of their ideas over from there. Shane and Ryan continue to be a delight together in just about everything they do. So far my favorite is Shane’s Puppet History Theater.

ENGLISH SUBS

AIDOL - One of the last English subbers, though they update infrequently now. This links to their DailyMotion account as AKB videos are largely removed from YouTube quickly. If you enjoy the older AKB generations, this is a great resource of older subs.

Animegg.org - My go to English subs place if Crunchyroll doesn’t have what I’m looking for. Their adds aren’t evasive and they accept adblock.

[privateplates4u]

Choosing the 2017 Motor Trend Best Driver’s Car

Patron saint of literary cool Joan Didion—who stalked the steamy, smoggy canyons of Los Angeles in a Daytona Yellow 1969 Corvette Stingray—once said, “Rationality, reasonableness bewilder me.” If only Didion were along for this year’s Best Driver’s Car competition. There is nothing rational or reasonable about holding the keys to $1.9 million worth of the world’s dreamiest sports cars, exotics, grand tourers, and supercars. It’s one thing to parse the packaging of family-friendly compact SUVs. That’s our day job. Best Driver’s Car is about the way a car makes you feel. It’s about the bees in your belly as you clip an apex, the giggles induced by the slingshot launch of barely restrained acceleration, and the sense of satisfaction that comes from the melding of man and machine. Where’s the cupholder for my latte in the McLaren? Can you fit anyone in that back seat of a 911? How much does that Ferrari 488 really cost? Don’t know. Don’t care. Our Highway Patrol–assisted closure of California State Route 198 and subsequent invasion of Mazda Raceway Laguna Seca are the highlights of this event. But the Best Driver’s Car format actually began two weeks prior at Auto Club Speedway, when our testing trio of Kim Reynolds, Chris Walton, and Erick Ayapana took their first crack at our contenders with our battery of standardized instrumented testing. To earn the title of Best Driver’s Car, a vehicle must deliver a balance of usable performance, intuitive handling, and driver-friendly design. The winner should be a vehicle with a multidimensional personality, a car that will delight and reward the enthusiast driver on any road at any time, regardless of weather and traffic conditions. We had quite the field this year, with representation from Italy, Germany, Japan, England, and the V-8 thunder of American freedom. But as the test team crunched the test results, there was no clear leader. A storm was brewing. Highway 198 Revisited A four-hour drive along I-5’s trackless wastes brings us to our hotel in King City, California. Most of the other judges had convoyed up together around noon. But with most of California tucked into bed, associate editor Scott Evans and I made great time in the Aston Martin and Corvette. We rolled into the King City Days Inn a tick past midnight. We were the last to arrive, but our hotel clerk couldn’t have been happier. It isn’t every day you get to meet a YouTube hero, a certain “Mr. Lieberman,” who earlier had given an impromptu car show to our host. His fan club is everywhere. Highway 198 is a magical place, an undulating public two-lane roadway filled with tight switchbacks, sweeping curves, midcorner bumps, long straights, and panoramic views. It’s a gorgeous 4.2-mile stretch of roadway that climbs about 1,000 feet, allowing Motor Trend judges to test each contender at its (and their own) limits. Any shortcomings of either car or driver will be quickly identified on this passage. It is the mill that grinds the grist. Just past daybreak, the ground fog still clearing, we pulled to the side of the road to set up camp, clean cars, and wait for the California Highway Patrol’s black and white Ford Explorers to close the road so we could begin. After a team meeting, we fired up all 86 cylinders and commenced our first runs up the beckoning hills—each of us starting in the familiar car we had driven from L.A. That meant the Chevrolet Corvette Grand Sport, intimidating in looks and sound, for me. The ’Vette is really a sweetheart once set up properly—Driver Mode Select in Sport and the steering wheel set to Tour. In those modes, the throttle response is linear and quick, and the suspension is dialed in to maximize the car’s speed around corners. The steering is light and direct, though you need to make a conscious effort to slow yourself down because turn-in is still very quick. That doesn’t mean there isn’t room for improvement. “Needs 100 extra horsepower! Felt slow!” Jonny shouted after his turn behind the wheel. Also, the crowded seven-speed manual gearbox has rubbery, ropey throws and doesn’t like to be rushed, and the gear ratios felt too tall for the track-oriented Grand Sport. Said executive editor Mark Rechtin: “It seems like there was a big gap between the powerbands in third and fourth gear.” Chevy used to sandbag the Camaro to avoid stepping on the Corvette’s toes, but those days are gone. The Camaro ZL1 1LE is an uncaged race car. As he pulled into our makeshift pit lane, Jonny could be heard screaming, “Yeaaaah!” and clapping his hands. You’d think power would be why the Camaro works so well, but it’s actually grip that’s the key to this muscle car. Those steamroller-wide, superglue-sticky Goodyear tires work hand in hand with the DSSV dampers and the added aero aids to ensure that the Camaro can use each and every one of its 650 horses. “You quickly learn you can trust the tires as you unleash the power,” Detroit editor Alisa Priddle said. Scott added: “There’s a lot of vertical movement in the cabin, but the car never jumps sideways a foot when it hits a midcorner bump; it never moves around laterally at all.” The downside to the Camaro’s grip is its ride quality—basically there is none. “I’ve encountered smoother paint mixers,” guest judge Derek Powell said. “The bouncing was so bad that I found myself reacting to that instead of focusing on the sheer act of driving. The nuclear-waste green Mercedes-AMG GT R  provoked whoops and hollers from all of the drivers. A brutal supercar that rewards fortitude, the AMG needs to be driven flat out in order to properly enjoy it. Dig deep into the 577-hp twin-turbo V-8, and you’re compensated by a violent surge of power and the soundtrack “of a small arms factory exploding behind your hips every time you come off the throttle,” as Jonny put it. “Let it rip,” Alisa added. “The AMG has the power to get unruly, but it holds the road incredibly well.” Although the Mercedes’ nose bites with ferocity—only fighting back once you approach its limits—the rear end wasn’t as well behaved even at sane speeds. “There were several times when the rear would hop side to side or even produce drop-throttle oversteer or on-power oversteer,” Chris said. Unlike the Merc, it’s hard to get into trouble in the Mazda Miata RF. Like any good naturally aspirated engine, the Miata is happy to rev its way to redline, growling sweetly as you stab the clutch and flick the six-speed manual into its next gear. The Miata is not fast, but it rewards a driver’s skill. Entering corners, the Miata RF is surprisingly tail-happy. Mazda rehashed the ragtop’s suspension for 2017, but the RF is unsettled. “It’s always dancing on the top of its springs and edge of its tires,” Scott said. With traction control on, the Mazda’s electronic systems are constantly grabbing at the brakes to keep the Miata’s tail in line—sapping the little power the RF has to give. A better beginner sports car to explore one’s limits might be the Porsche 718 Cayman S. “The chassis is so beautifully balanced, the handling so predictable,” Derek said. “Each movement is connected directly to the brain’s synapses.” Scott agreed, adding: “Steering is among the best here—talkative and light, quick enough but not too much. I wish the Miata handled like this.” The 718’s 350-hp mid-mounted turbo flat-four is a good match for the platform, too–even if some of our judges wish it sounded less like a garbage disposal eating a fork. Alisa silenced those critics: “There are those who miss the sound of the old throaty engine, but the trade-off for a nice, wide powerband is worth it.” There isn’t much room for improvement in the 718, but the Aston Martin DB11 could use some help in the braking department. Its 600-hp V-12 is more than capable of getting its nearly 4,200 pounds of British aluminium going (and quickly at that), but it lacks the brakes or suspension to handle that heft on a twisty road. The DB11 has three suspension settings, but all feel inadequate for spirited performance. Its body control was subpar, the car displaying a tendency to porpoise through corners and over bumps. “It’s a wonderful GT car and is happy at high speeds, as long as the road doesn’t twist too much,” Scott said. Upsides: The V-12 provides epic thrust, and the steering is beautifully weighted, light, and linear—just as a British GT car should be. As the Aston’s counterpoint in the grand touring department, the Lexus LC 500 was a revelation, having done its homework on chassis and suspension tuning. “The fundamentals are all there,” Jonny said. Scott provided further details: “Weight transfer is nicely handled, and the car sits in a turn nicely.” The Lexus provides light, progressive feedback from the wheel, and its four-wheel-steering system helps make the LC feel smaller than it is. The LC’s 5.0-liter V-8 makes a good match for the 10-speed auto, though the gearbox was frustrating for its abundance of overdrive gears. “How can this car have 10 gears and never, ever be in the right one?” Chris asked. “There were at least a dozen rejected downshifts.” You’d expect the lone four-door sedan in our group to be soft, but it’s clear the Alfa Romeo Giulia Quadrifoglio “is a sports car regardless of how many doors it has,” Derek said. The Alfa’s sportiness is baked into its chassis; it’s a car that rewards smooth inputs yet begs to be driven hard. “This might be the best-handling sedan I have driven in 25 years of automotive journalism,” Mark said. “And yes, that includes the W124 and E39.” The 2.9-liter twin-turbo V-6 is laggy down low, but it hits you in the face with a sledgehammer once you’re above 2,000 rpm. Its eight-speed auto rattles off shifts as if it were a dual-clutch transmission. Complaints? A few. The engine, for all its power, doesn’t communicate what it’s doing at redline, making shifting by ear difficult. Some also found the Alfa’s Italian electrics a little buggy, with inconsistent brake-by-wire feel and a seemingly overeager overheat protection mode that would impose a 5,000-rpm rev limiter on the engine and limit torque vectoring at the rear axle. The other Italian in our group, the Ferrari 488 GTB, delivered thrills on an epiphanic level. After piling out of the Ferrari babbling a red-mist rant, Mark calmed down enough to say, “This delivers every teenager’s fantasy when they think of Ferrari.” The Ferrari 488 is one of those rare cars that makes you feel immediately at home despite its exotic appearance. The cabin is open and airy with a driver-focused interface. There are no distractions. Your hands hold a flat-bottomed, carbon-fiber and leather steering wheel, and all the needed controls are a finger’s reach away. Not only does the 488 GTB feel magical merely sitting still, but it’s also glorious to drive. The Ferrari’s small twin-turbocharged engine makes 661 horsepower. “It’s a force of nature, like being picked up by a tornado,” Scott said. The 488 also carries tenacious grip “with a flat attitude and fingertip control while cornering at speeds 10 to 15 mph faster than other vehicles—with the same if not greater confidence heading down 198 as up,” editor-in-chief Ed Loh said. The Achilles’ heel for the Ferrari is its brakes—the carbon ceramics have a slightly wooden feel and squeak like the midnight subway to Coney Island. If on the emotional scale the Ferrari is an embrace from a Victoria’s Secret model, the McLaren 570GT is a polite but firm handshake from gritty Bruce himself. Last year’s winning 570S was a highly rewarding and technical car, but in softening the 570 for grand touring duty, McLaren seemed to scrape away some of the special sauce. “It’s not what I would have expected,” Chris said. “This one feels far more ass-happy and less balanced and composed.” The 570GT feels stuck between sledgehammer and rubber mallet—it no longer drives like a supercar, but it’s not soft enough to drive like a proper GT. The issue is especially apparent if you’ve forgotten to press the “Active” button. Turn on the Active Panel, and dig into the 30-some-odd possible drivetrain configurations, and that sharpens steering and throttle response. But then the handling becomes unpredictable. “There were times when I’d exit a corner and the engine and transmission would be ready for it, and I’d rocket out onto the straight at full boost,” Derek said. “Other times it felt like I caught the car unaware.” When the McLaren is awake, there’s a hint of that 570S magic in its fingertip-light steering, supple ride, and peaky but powerful little engine, but the 570GT’s inconsistency hurt its credibility. If you want instant confidence bordering on immortality, the Porsche 911 Turbo S is your machine. Despite the PDK seven-speed dual-clutch doing the shifting, despite the torque-vectoring all-wheel-drive system constantly shuffling around the twin-turbo flat-six’s 580 hp, and despite the four-wheel steering making the 911 feel smaller than it is, the Porsche makes its driver feel responsible for it all. “Right out of the box, the 911 Turbo S lets you drive as fast as you dare, brake as hard as you can, and turn as much as you wish,” Derek said. “It doesn’t just inspire confidence. It inspires a relationship with the driver.” Still, some, like Jonny, thought the 911 made things too easy. “This thing is weaponized speed,” he said. “It’s maniacally capable but not the most engaging car, let alone 911, I’ve ever driven.” Added Ed: “It is a focused tool intended for one purpose: going very fast. Really hard to find a flaw here; if I’m being really critical, it’s a bit anodyne.” He quickly followed with: “I take it back about it being boring.” Now eight years since it made its debut, the latest Nissan GT-R NISMO still remains very proficient at hauling ass. Defined by what should be physically impossible levels of grip, it’s a car that you chuck into corners, mash the gas, and let the all-wheel-drive system sort things out. Godzilla’s 3.8-liter twin-turbo V-6 is indeed a monster worthy of the name—boost hits strong, and the power keeps coming. “This engine pulls and surges effortlessly,” Erick said. Ed said it was “noticeably sharper, like they ran the GT-R over a Japanese whetstone.” But some things don’t change. The programming on the GT-R’s six-speed dual-clutch is lacking, making manual shifting a must for performance driving. The ride is literally a sore spot. And then there’s the steering—it broke. Nearly every judge had a bizarre issue after hitting a midcorner bump, where the steering wheel would go cockeyed at a 20-degree angle, yet the car would be going straight down the road. Then the steering wheel would correct itself as if nothing had happened. Chris had it happen multiple times, with GT-R chief engineer Hiroshi Tamura riding shotgun. “It was an unusual electro-mechanical anomaly,” Chris said. “Tamura-san was as curious about it as I was.” As Motor Trend en Español editor Miguel Cortina nursed the NISMO back to our makeshift Highway 198 paddock, he handed the keys to Tamura-san and the Nissan team for repairs. The question as we pointed our field north toward Mazda Raceway Laguna Seca was whether the GT-R would be fixed in time for our staff champion racer Randy Pobst’s hot laps around the track. Hot Shoes, Cool Fog Monterey, let alone Mazda Raceway, has its own microclimate. Monterey proper was warm and clear, but the track was cool and foggy. It would be lousy for visibility but great for the turbocharged cars that Randy would run that day. After a quick sighting lap in our long-term Honda Civic to scout the conditions, Randy, Ed, and the test team determined which six cars to run on day one. 718. Corvette. Ferrari. McLaren. Camaro. 911. The assembled teams scrambled off to start prepping the cars. Meanwhile, a local Nissan dealer was attempting to bandage Godzilla. The Cayman was ready first. Randy hopped in, fired up the rumbly little four-pot, and set off for his hot laps. Not long after—1:40.22 to be exact—Randy pulled the ticking 718 into the pit with a huge smile on his face: “People! Marry this car! This is not like the crazy, scary girlfriend who will give you the time of your life and then boil your rabbit in the morning. The Cayman S has such beautiful balance; it’s so good that I felt like I could push it harder and harder.” Not long after, Randy set out in the red, white, and blue Corvette. But when he came back, Randy’s smile had been replaced with a scowl: “It wasn’t until the second timed lap that the tires started to get some temperature, but the car still wanted to power oversteer at throttle tip in. The front is ready to turn full blast, and the rear isn’t. Or the rear is ready to accelerate, and the front’s not too happy.” Going out in the Ferrari 488 GTB seemed to cheer Randy up before he was flagged for breaking Monterey’s punitive noise regulations: “I talked about marrying the Cayman, but this car is your mistress! This car accelerates so quickly that I needed to apex a lot later. The turbos on that Ferrari V-8 give it a big, fat torque curve. The transmission is such a beautiful match for that engine.” He did caution that the brakes did not provide a solid initial bite and that pedal pressure and brake force were not in cahoots. And like that, Randy was off in the McLaren 570GT, choosing to leave the stability control on because it felt fairly easy to break the rear end loose. “Track mode gets into a nice place where it allows some drift,” Randy said. “But it’s controlling the throttle a bit for me, and it’s less satisfying because I’m not the one driving. I could even feel the stability control activating significantly in Turn 1. The McLaren is fast enough that we’re arriving there at over 140 mph, and the car gets light and a bit oversteery.” You’d think the Camaro ZL1 1LE that Randy lapped next would be as oversteery as the Brit, but its claws stuck into the track. “This thing handles so well,” he said. “For a front-engine, rear-drive car with 650 horsepower, the traction was incredible. It put power down extremely well. Stability controls aren’t necessary for the average good driver.” The same rules applied for Randy’s last car of the day, the 911 Turbo S. “I don’t want to get out,” he said. “This car is the one you married, and it’s your mistress. It’s the whole package. I’m so utterly blown away by its capability. It was incredibly rewarding to drive. I was driving that car hard because I could.” As we wound down for the day, the Nissan GT-R arrived—but after a quick spin, Chris and Tamura-san quickly shut it down. Not ready. Nissan PR called for an identical white GT-R NISMO to be shuttled up from L.A. the next morning. It needed to arrive before the track went cold at 5:30 p.m. The Final Countdown As the clock started ticking for the NISMO on day two, we turned our attention to the remaining cars’ hot laps. Or warm laps in the case of the Miata RF. Its lap around its namesake track is not surprisingly the slowest of our 12, but it’s probably one of the most fun. “The MX-5 makes every trip to the grocery store feel like a Grand Prix at 34 mph,” Randy said. “I have to really slow my hands down because it leans over a lot. I like to trail-brake into a corner, and the Miata does not like that. But you can go around screaming at redline all day and not end up in jail.” By comparison, the Mercedes-AMG GT R is a go-directly-to-jail card. “This AMG really has personality in its engine,” Randy said. “It’s satisfying to pull all the way to redline. The fat torque curve makes it easier to drive, too, because it’s more controllable.” But the brakes started exhibiting signs of heat soak by the time Randy was on his final lap. Although the Lexus LC 500 might not spring to mind as a track car, Randy found it to be a delightful experience. But he also had some caution. “When attacking the corners, the Lexus is reluctant to change direction,” he said. “But once it finally comes down the apex and I go back to power, it’s beautiful from then on.” Randy was pleasantly surprised with the other front-engine GT car in our group, the Aston Martin DB11: “My expectations were low. I thought it would be a boat, but I was wrong. Well behaved on the track. Surprisingly good handler. Responsive and well damped in the Sport Plus suspension setting.” But the Aston’s brakes were shot midway through its second hot lap. With still no sign of our missing NISMO, Randy hit the track in the Giulia Quadrifoglio, returning with queries about cornering inconsistency: “I think there are electronic variations with the torque-vectoring differential. When I started at a quick pace, small steering changes really brought the car into the corner. Then when I go flat out, I get a lot of understeer in the middle of the corner under some circumstances but not others. I noticed the brake pedal doing something similar, too. It’s a lot of fun, it’s fast, it’s quick handing, but I’m not a fan of variation.” The Return of Godzilla All available cars having run, there was still no NISMO. Ed called a meeting; the manufacturers who wanted another lap would get one. Porsche wanted the Cayman to run again, citing the fog on day one. Ferrari wanted a run with flushed brake lines and new calipers and pads. The Corvette would run in Sport mode. And why not? The AMG GT R and McLaren 570GT could rerun, too. But if the GT-R showed up, bonus laps would cease. The Cayman, Corvette, McLaren, and Ferrari improved their times—the Italian by nearly a full second, leading some to suspect Ferrari’s mechanics did far more than change the brakes. But the AMG was actually 0.2 second slower. With 45 minutes on the clock, our replacement NISMO rolled into the paddock. The garage buzzed around the NISMO. The test team hooked up our data-logging gear, replaced wheels and tires, torqued lug nuts, and checked pressures. Video mounted and prepped cameras. Sound strapped down microphones. Everyone else stayed the hell out of the way. Some Formula 1 pit crews aren’t this in sync. At 5:15, Randy hopped in the GT-R and blazed a 1:35.01 lap. “The GT-R has been around for a long time,” he said. “It has gotten better and better, and the NISMO is the best version, but after it brakes pretty well once or twice, it starts getting hot. And when you first tip into this thing, it gives you full power and throws the car completely off balance. All-wheel drive or not, it suddenly makes the car run wide.” It was 5:30 on the dot. Time to hash out the winner. Final Tally When you have such a closely contested field, it is almost harder to pick the last-place car than the winner. Someone has to come last even if we really truly love our cellar dweller. And love, love we do, the 12th-place Aston Martin DB11. The DB11 is a great car to drive, but it’s not a good driver’s car. It’s a little too heavy, a little soft. There’s still plenty to like, though. “It’s beautiful inside and out,” Miguel said. It has a killer engine, too. Derek described the sound of the starter as “God Himself wound a pull cord around the flywheel and gave it a wondrous yank.”   Coming in 11th place is a car that was minutes away from earning a DNF: the Nissan GT-R NISMO. Mechanical issues aside, the Nissan’s 11th-place finish is a testament to how competitive this year’s field was. Yeah, it’s a bit heavy and a bit vague through corners, and it isn’t as fast as some of the new kids on the block. “It’s impressive that there are still improvements to be made,” Ed said. Godzilla might be old, but he sure as hell can still breathe fire. Tenth place goes to the Mazda MX-5 Miata RF Club. Miatas are the go-to for entry-level racers, and that ain’t just because of its price point—it’s because it is an exceptionally well-composed sports car with approachable, unintimidating limits. But although the Miata ragtop finished in third a few years back, the package isn’t improved by adding 125 pounds worth of complicated hardtop, which doesn’t accommodate a helmeted driver. Also, Mazda’s suspension tweaks fell out of favor of our judges. Oh how the mighty have fallen. After winning it all with the 570S last year, McLaren comes in ninth place this year. The 570GT is unsure of its place on the road. There are moments of brilliance in the delicacy of its steering, its surgical precision, and its tremendous brake feel, but the 570GT never gives you the confidence to go for more. “Somehow the magic of the 570S didn’t translate into the 570GT,” Chris said. “It’s a brilliant car, but it’s no winner.” Jonny had argued against bringing the Lexus LC 500 because it’s so big and heavy. But chastened, following its respectable eighth-place finish, he said: “Folks, we have an athlete on our hands.” We were all impressed with the Lexus’ sonorous V-8, quick-shifting automatic, and crisp steering feel—even if the LC was too eager to default to understeer at its limit. “Tighten this thing up, cut some weight, add some power, and you’ve got a really good GT car here,” Scott said. It seems that the Chevrolet Corvette is always this close to perfection, and that remains the folly of the seventh-place Corvette Grand Sport Z07. First the good: Its 6.2-liter V-8 is fantastic. It’s got a big, meaty powerband, and although it could probably benefit from an extra 100 horsepower, it’s tremendously rewarding to drive. The Corvette’s biggest issue is its transmission—its gearbox doesn’t like to be rushed, and its gear ratios are ultimately too tall and too widely spaced for performance driving. Sixth place goes to the Alfa Romeo Giulia Quadrifoglio. The Alfa is high strung, but that’s part of the fun—the engine is laggy down low and peaky up high, and the steering is so quick off-center that you’re liable to drive off the road if you so much as sneeze. “LOL-fast steering, short gearing mixed with a turbo-tickled powertrain,” Ed said. This is where things get real close; any of our top five could have justifiably won the whole shebang. Finishing a few points shy of fourth place, the Mercedes-AMG GT R is a helluva car. “The harder you drive this thing, the better it gets,” Erick said. But it needs to be driven at ten-tenths to get the most enjoyment out of it. Wring it out for all it’s worth, and it rewards you with endless grip and lightning-quick shifts. But it isn’t as gratifying at five-tenths as it is flat-out. The Chevrolet Camaro ZL1 1LE’s fourth-place finish was a contentious one. We could agree on power and grip. The fact that all 650 of the Camaro’s horsepower is usable without instantly vaporizing the rear rubber is an engineering feat. But some of us maintained that a car couldn’t win Best Driver’s Car if you didn’t want to drive it every day. “I’ve probably lost all my fillings, and my kidneys are bruised,” Derek lamented, to which Jonny retorted: “Some judges thought the ride was too harsh on their way to Pilates class, but who cares? Finishing fourth is a failure of democracy.” One vote is all that separates our second- and third-place finishers. One. Earning the bronze is the technological tour de force that is the 911 Turbo S. It never seems to run out of grip, power, or brakes. “The 911 Turbo S is so amazingly competent on every level—without having any visible compromises—that it’s easy to forget how high its limits are,” Derek said. “Some might be tempted to punish the Porsche for its unflappable greatness. Big mistake.” Life’s funny. The Porsche 718 Cayman S wasn’t supposed to be here. We didn’t invite it until a last-second dropout had us scrambling to fill a hole in our lineup. Now the 718 Cayman S is tootling away with a silver medal. “There is something really spirited and sweet about this car,” Alisa said. “It’s so well balanced and smooth, so seamless in its power delivery and responsive to the slightest steering input.” Mark agreed: “It’s an exacting corner-carving machine that entices you to push your limits even more.” Erick, who did his best to hog the Cayman most of the week, called it “lovely,” adding that it “felt impossible to do wrong in this car.” Simply put, the 718 is a phenom. Deus ex Machina You’d think a mid-engine supercar would be a one-trick pony, but our 2017 Best Driver’s Car proves that wrong. First place goes to the Ferrari 488 GTB. This Ferrari makes you your best self behind the wheel. It grabs your attention, it focuses you, and it helps you improve. The 488 GTB lets you know when you screw up and pushes and prods you to do better next time around. The Ferrari 488 GTB’s powertrain is an endless assault on your senses, with wave after wave of devastating power. The engine pulls all the way to 8,000 rpm and then, bam, the seven-speed gearbox upshifts, and the engine digs deep for more. The powertrain is happy lugging around, too. “This car is amazing even loafing along I-5,” Mark said. Derek agreed about its cruising manners: “Very little engine noise makes it into the cabin despite it being inches away from the back of my head.” Chassis, steering, and suspension tuning are equally impressive. “The steering is very lively and requires constant attention—this car needs me,” Chris said. The 488 GTB does it all. “The Ferrari fulfills the complete list of needs, from extreme exotic to dauntless touring car,” Mark said. It’s memorable, too. “This is one of those cars, one of those drives, one of those moments that will forever be seared into my synapses as an epic moment,” Chris said, “a true deus ex machina experience in my life.” Joan Didion once described driving in Los Angeles as requiring “a concentration so intense as to seem a kind of narcosis, a rapture-of-the-freeway. The mind goes clean. The rhythm takes over.” The Ferrari 488 GTB is that rapture. It is that rhythm. It is our 2017 Best Driver’s Car. Read more about 2017 Best Driver’s Car contenders: Ferrari 488 GTB Porsche 911 Turbo S Chevrolet Camaro ZL1 1LE Porsche 718 Cayman S Lexus LC 500 Mercedes-AMG GT R Alfa Romeo Giulia Quadrifoglio Chevrolet Corvette Grand Sport Aston Martin DB11 Nissan GT-R NISMO Mazda MX-5 Miata RF McLaren 570GT The post Choosing the 2017 Motor Trend Best Driver’s Car appeared first on Motor Trend.

http://www.motortrend.com/news/choosing-2017-best-drivers-car/

[survivetashirojima]

Rites of Passage

The Final 4 had the option to journey into the forest of Tashirojima and reflect upon the torches of the fallen players. Here is what they had to say...

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THOMAS

Jay: I dont really remember you at all I'm sorry :(

Kevin: TOM!!! I wanted to work with you so bad I tried to get you online when your name started circling but you just weren’t around and there wasn’t much I could’ve done at all, let alone by myself, but I was really looking forward to working with you and it sucks that got cut short!

Madeleine: To my Dear Thomas, Even though we only talked twice I had a feeling you would be a good person to play with.  You were really nice, -Maddie

Ricky: We literalt didn’t speak but i hope ur little engine could.

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JULIA

Jay: JULIA! I wish you were active in this game bc we could have RAN IT ahhh I missed you while I wasn't playing ORGS, I'm glad to see you're still around

Kevin: Almost the exact same as Tom, I wanted you to stay for my own personal game but you just weren’t active so I had to ride the waves and they unfortunately took you under, I hope we can again together sometime tho!

Madeleine: Julia, My Montenegro Sister,I feel bad for voting you out so soon, and right after we talked about taking each other to the end. I was torn when voting you out because I wanted to take you far. I wish I could have played with you more, I know you would have been a riot to play with. With Love, Maddie

Ricky: QUEEN IM SO SORRY YOU LEFT SO EARLY I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

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KENNY

Jay: I don't remember you either sorry :(

Kevin: I don’t believe we ever spoke which was unfortunate but you seemed active in the tribe chat and you were definitely active in challenges, I don’t really know what happened with your vote it just kinda came up like the last 2.

Madeleine: Hello dearest Kenny.We only had 1 conversation so I’m having trouble writing this, but I remember you being real cool bro. Signed Maddie. 

Ricky: You were really cool from when we talked but then I went dead sorry boo.

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JG

Jay: We didn't talk tooooo much but I hope whatever happened that made you leave the game is ok now

Kevin: I hope everything is ok with you :) not much of an in-game relationship but I did learn a bit about you so that was cool!

Madeleine: JG my dear,I hope everything is okay. I had a lot of fun playing with you. I wished I talked to you more. Good luck at your new job! I’m proud of you for getting it! -Maddie

Ricky:  I’m so sorry you had to go the way you did that was a trauma and i hope you’re okay.

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DYLAN

Jay: OMG Dylan! We had just started really talking, and then your name was thrown out for the vote :( I really did enjoy our like, one conversation about Taco Bell, but I just wasn't very connected to you :c

Kevin: We got on to a late start but I think you’re absolutely hilarious and you should start a youtube channel please, your intro video is still hilarious to this day. I do wish we got to talking more but I appreciated the few times we spoke they were great!

Madeleine: Dear Dylan,You’re an amazing player, I am happy I got to play with again. I hate to see you go as soon as you did. Even though this was my third time playing with you I can confidently say that you always brought something new and exciting every time I have played with you. You are an exciting player and it was a shame that you had to go so soon. With love, Maddie

Ricky: ROBBED ROBBED ROBBED ROBBED. I will never get over how dirty they did you i cry for you every night.

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BRIEN

Jay: Omg you had a few lives in this game that's for sure. Although it didn't seem like you really talked to many people, you were someone that had to go to take some control away from other players

Kevin: Ah man, you were so active in the first like round and then you seemed to have stopped trying or maybe caring moreso for other games, which I get, but we had a good thing going and it just kinda fizzled out which sucks but I think you’re really cool from what I got to know about you!

Madeleine: Greetings Brien, Hello, my sweets. I know when you left the game we were not on the best of terms (trying to vote each other out an all) but I did have a good time playing with you. From Maddie  

Ricky: Pennington.

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TIMMY

Jay: Heyyyy, I feel like it's a running thing that we just don't communicate in these games at ALL. I know on my side that at this point it was kinda too awkward to say anything, I hope that can be changed in the future

Kevin: We didn’t get to talk a whole lot but you also worked at target so that was really cool, I think our allegiances lined up for a little bit and then they didn’t, so our communication lacked because of it, but I do wish we could’ve connected a little more!

Madeleine: To the lovely Timmy,I loved playing with you again, Kalokairi Krew for life. You were a blast to play with and I hope to play again with you someday soon. We never talked much, but I knew I could count on you. -Maddie

Ricky: The beginning of the ginger genocide.

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PAT

Jay: Pat omg we definitely have a bit of a history, don't we? It's a shame that your vote came down to you or one of my other closest allies, I would have LOVED to continue playing with you if that wasn't the case. You're a power player every time I get the chance to play with you and I hope we can continue to be friends after this game is done.

Kevin: Ugh Pat, I reallyyy liked talking to you, you were very chill, you could keep a conversation and I just like what we talked about, things got rocky between us with how the game’s dynamic was around the time you left, which I understand but on a personal level I enjoyed you so much and hopefully we can talk after this game is all said and done!

Madeleine: Patrick dearest, We never talked much. I can’t wait for the day I see your name on the TV and I start hitting my partners (or whoever I’m watching with) arm and freaking out because I know you and watch you win survivor.  I believe in you bb. With love, Maddie

Ricky: Sorry you were part of the ginger genocide.

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Vi

Jay: VI! There's not enough good things I can say about you. You're amazingly fun to talk to, I felt like we got along real well and that our personalities just fit together. You always made me laugh and I wish we could've played more strategically together. Voting you out is really one of my biggest regrets in this game

Kevin: Oh wow, you are so interesting, all your animals and your passion for them and plants is awesome, also the stories you’d told me were kinda crazy but really interesting (sorry to use the same word again) but I guess at some point our one on ones ceased to occur, which sucks cause I would’ve loved to know more about you, but maybe we can pick ‘em back up after this :D

Madeleine: Hello, my dearest Vi,At the beginning, we talked a lot and shared stories, but then I made the stupid mistake of not reaching out anymore, I wish I talked with more, we could have done great things in this game. You are amazing and never stop being yourself, my dear! Signed Maddie

Ricky: I hope your isopods are doing well <3

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ANDREW

Jay: Seeing you here was like a total blast from the past! I'm really happy we got to play this game together, on the same side and everything. I'm just happy that I feel like I recemented my friendship with you. I really you could still be in the game right now.

Kevin: ANDREW. Andrew I freaking adore you, I think you’re hilarious, and our sense of humor is pretty similar which makes things 10x funnier, you’re also the youngest and we not only clicked on a personal level but a game level too so it was like a match made in heaven, obviously things went sideways but that’s not indicative of how I feel about you cause I think you’re awesome.

Madeleine: Dearest Andrew, I wish I hadn’t voted you out, final 4 would have been really fun with you! Even though we didn’t talk much I felt as though we had a good connection and alliance. I am sorry for voting you out. You were an amazing player and I am grateful I had the chance to play with you. I can now say I’ve played with the Iconic AndrewTM . Sincerely, Maddie

Ricky: My partner in crime...you were taken away from me and I’m so sorry for that. you know ain’t no words to describe my love for you.

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JACOB

Jay: Omg you are HILARIOUS. All of our conversations towards the end of you being in the game were really fun and I wish I made more effort to talk to you during the middle of the game. 

Kevin: ugh… jacob… I LOVE YOU and voting you out was shitty but I had to, but you know our minds as crackheady as they are we vibed well, but seriously having you in this game was so nice because you were a fresh of breath air where I could just talk about whatever and say what I felt because I trusted you so much, but yeah through it all I am so sorry but I’m thankful we got to play this game together :)

Madeleine: My dear Jacob,We never talked much. I was delighted to find out you liked New politics as well. I had a blast playing with you! I remember you saying you wish you had a song named after you. Well, it might not be named after you but I found a song called Jacob just for you. Best wishes, Maddie https://open.spotify.com/album/3RGAvvbu5smdrcxZqFIf0U

Ricky: My heart, my baby, my fuckin cinnamon apple. The greatest thing i’m able to take away from this game is talking to you again lol ok bye. 💟

.

STEPHEN

Jay: Oh Stephen, I know we didnt have the best relationship down the stretch, that much is clear. But otherwise I think you were one of the nicest people here, you were always so fun and uplifting in the tribe chat. I hope we can become better friends in the future.

Kevin: Oh Mr. Stephen to say we had a rollercoaster of a relationship would be an UNDERSTATEMENT, you were here to play and I was here to play and that very reason is exactly what pitted us against each other AND brought us together and I’m so glad you were in this game cause the experience wouldn’t have been the same and you added so much to this game for my personally, in-game and out of it just with your presence. I respect you so much and I hope you don’t hate me too much plz

Madeleine: My dearest Stephen,I’m sorry bitch. I genuinely enjoyed playing with you, our 3-hour tribe call that consisted of the 2 of us spilling alliance tea, and making a connecting is one of my favorite parts of this game.  It resides as one of my favourite memories. You were one of my closest allies in this game. I regret voting you out and turning on our alliance. I could write a paper about our relationship in this game, but I’m sure at the end of the year for you you already have enough of those to read from your students, so I shall say this; Your are an amazing friend and were an amazing ally, I am sorry for turning on you. (also you were one of maybe 4 people who talked to me and I love you for that) Best of wishes, Maddie

Ricky: I’m sorry we didn’t get to talk more about australia and i hope you can educate me about the floods and fires more.

.

JOANNA

Jay:  I don't really know what to say other than I'm extremely extremely sorry about how things ended up for you. I should have made more of an effort to work with you I just didn't know what to say after I explicitly betrayed you over and over. I just felt so guilty over it that I just, ignored you instead of facing it head on. And I'm so sorry I did that. I hope we're still friends.

Kevin: Joanna, I voted you for like the person I’d most like to hang out with in real life cause you are just very cool and very nice and overall a really kind person from what I’ve learned about you, you were honest with me early on in this game about my name going around and I attribute me waking up to play this game with that moment, so I am grateful for you on a personal and game level, I REALLY wish things could’ve played out differently I really do, but the cards fell how they did :(

Madeleine: Hello Joanna,I was so excited when I was in the alliance with you, but of course, I mucked it up by flipping. I wish I could have played with you more, and tried to talk to you more, your an amazing girl. Keep playing girl. Best of wishes, Maddie

Ricky: idkkk for some reason i really love you like i’ll never forget saying hello back and forth for 2 weeks straight, thank you for that.

.

MADISON

Jay: We almost pulled something off at the last minute, huh? That would've been real fun after you shaded me in the tribal calls while I wasn't there ;) But I ain't mad, I think that's hilarious. I think out of everyone in this game I was the closest with you before it began. Some of my fondest tumblr ORG memories are on calls with you, playing with you, hosting you, hosting WITH you. You've always been one of the real ones, ever since we played HoS all those years ago. Talk to you soon :)

Kevin: oh MADISON, girl we BARELY talked, I don’t know why we didn’t but that’s just how our relationship was but you were also there to add a bit of comedy to tribals or the tribe chat and just all around lifted the mood a lot and were a really nice reminder that this was a game and it was all for fun, which I needed a lot, cause I can take these things a bit seriously but you didn’t seem to (which is a good thing) and I admire that a lot about you. :)

Madeleine: Madison, I should have talked to you more. I wanted to work with you but I never reached out, and I regret that. You are someone who I wanted to take to the end. I considered a final 3 with you. That would have been great. But hey, final 5 with you was great too!With love, Maddie

Ricky: queen of the cockroaches. one day we’ll be able to be in a game together where we speak to each other for more than 3 days.

.

.

.

As the final 4 leave the forest, they go back to camp to plan final tribal council. Please consult the jury chat / tribe chat to help plan!

[sheminecrafts]

Living with the Samsung Galaxy Z Flip

The Galaxy Z Flip ships with the same “Care Instructions” as the Fold. It’s a five-item list with the following basic points:

Don’t scratch the screen with a pen or fingernail

Don’t stick stuff between the screens when folding

Don’t get it dusty, wet or feed it after midnight

Don’t stick stickers to the screen

Don’t get it near credit cards or your pacemaker

Unlike the last time around, however, these warnings seem to have been included out of an (understandable) abundance of caution. As stated in my hands-on the other day, the Flip feels more solid than the Fold in just about every way, from the folding mechanism to the display, which now sports foldable protective glass.

Samsung Galaxy Z Flip hands-on: This is more like it

A couple of notes before we start here. First, and most importantly, this is a rare 24-hour device loan. Short loan times are not entirely uncommon with high-end products, but a single day is a bit extreme. I’m being upfront about this because:

You can only go into so much depth with limited time.

It’s worth noting what appears to be a bit of caution on Samsung’s part.

My Galaxy Fold display is damaged after a day

This isn’t a case of an early product in limited supply. The Z Flip went on sale today (happy Valentine’s/Sonic the Hedgehog Day to you and yours). If I had to venture a guess, it would be that Samsung is still reeling a bit from fallout from the Fold, which found a number of review devices breaking prior to the product hitting the market.

For all of the downside, however, I would argue that coverage that pushed the company to reinforce the product before actually selling it for $2,000 a pop was ultimately a good things. Besides, as was pointed out to me, most if not all of the faulty Folds went sideways before the 24-hour mark.

See also: the Moto Razr. Reviews of the product have started filtering in a week or so after the product hit the market. Seems the company opted not to give out review units until the product was already available (full transparency: I still haven’t gotten my hands on a review unit). The analogy I keep coming back to is movie reviews. If you don’t see any professional reviews by the time a movie hits theaters, that probably doesn’t bode well for spending $10 of your hard-earned cash.

None of this is an indictment of the Galaxy Z Flip, which so far is proving to be a pretty solid device. It’s more a comment on the optics of it all. Give than the handset is roughly the same price as 150 movies, reviews are all that much more valuable to consumers — many of whom are understandably wary after the category’s rocky start.

It’s a shame, because I’ve been enjoying my time with the Galaxy Z Flip. In many ways, this is exactly the device Samsung’s original foldable should have been. For starters, the form factor just makes more sense. The “why” of the Fold was significantly more difficult to explain to those outside the industry (and frankly, many of those inside it, as well).

Anyone who’s ever used a clamshell phone, on the other hand, will immediately get the Flip. You’ve got a roomy 6.7-inch screen that you can snap shut and stick in your pocket. It’s pretty much as simple as that — it’s just that there was a lot of innovation that had to happen in order to get us back to square one with a larger, uninterrupted touchscreen display.

Also of note is the price. Of course, $1,380 isn’t cheap by practically any measure, but that’s a pretty big drop down from the $2,000 Galaxy Fold. The argument that Fold users should have been extra careful with the device given its price point have always struck me as somewhat counter-intuitive. If anything, a device that price ought to have added safeguards built-in.

The Flip has implemented a number of learnings from the earlier product, namely a glass covering, edges hidden beneath (sizable) bezels and an advanced folding mechanism designed to keep dust and debris out. In fact, this time out, the folding mechanism itself is considered a marquee feature. Per Samsung’s press material:

Inspired by a lotus blossom, the Hideaway Hinge is precisely articulated for a satisfying folding motion — even allowing you to adjust the folding angle. Sweeper technology helps repel dirt and dust to keep your folds as smooth as your style.

That’s a marketing way of saying that it’s a lot harder to get crap trapped behind the screen, which could eventually break it. The folding mechanism is, indeed, a nice step up. It feels more robust than the sometimes floppy Fold. You can keep it open at different configurations, like a 90 degree “L” shape for watching videos.

The biggest downside of the more robust mechanism is that it’s harder to flip open with a single hand, owing to resistance, and it doesn’t have as satisfying a snap shut. Those all seem like pretty minor quibbles, to be honest — especially if it means a more robust product. Samsung rates the Z Flip at 200,000 folds — same as the Fold. Of course, in CNET’s testing, the Fold lasted about 120,000 mechanical folds.

Not terrible, and definitely better than the 27,000 or so the Razr made it through. Also, unlike Motorola’s device, the Flip doesn’t make a troubling creaking sound when it opens and shuts. The Razr really does seem awash in first-generation problems. Motorola can’t be pleased that Samsung introduced a competing device with the same form factor soon after its own product and was able to bring it to market roughly a week after the Razr.

I can’t imagine either of these devices will prove huge sellers for their respective manufactures, but if I was Motorola, the Flip would be cause for concern. The Razr went from an exciting new entry in the foldable category to another strike against it when it was released and both consumer and professional reviews began trickling in.

A little bit of the novelty has worn off for Samsung. That’s honestly not a bad thing. By the second generation, the product should no longer be reviewed as a sort of oddity. Instead, it should be regarded as a, you know, phone. And as such, should be subject to the same sort of regular wear any smartphones go through.

In other words, it’s reasonable to expect that it can withstand, say, a hard press from a finger but not necessarily a five-foot drop onto concrete. Again, this is only after a day of use, but so far, so good on that front, at least.

The 21.9×9 aspect ratio is an odd one. The phone is really tall and skinny. Also, the crease is still very noticeable — that much hasn’t changed. But the Flip looks mostly unremarkable when open. I was using it open on the subway ride home and no one seemed to notice (New Yorkers, amiright?). The Fold, on the other hand, drew curious looks every time I used it. If having strangers notice your expensive new phone is an incentive for spending $1,400, then that’s a downside, I suppose.

There haven’t been too many updates to the Android UI to accommodate the new screen paradigm. The biggest change is the ability to have two windows open in a vertical configuration. There’s also Flex model, which is currently limited to a select number of applications. Open, say, the camera app, bend the phone so it holds at a 90-degree angle and the app will adapt. In this case, the view finder moves up, occupying the top half of the screens while the controls take up the bottom. It’s a cool feature, with the device essentially serving as its own kickstand for things like taking selfies or reading the news.

Utilizing it more broadly is going to require more work on Google’s part — and more adoption from app developers. The latter especially is going to depend quite a lot on how many of these devices are actually sold. For now, YouTube is the one pure video app that utilizes it.

That’s fine, honestly, as turning the device to landscape mode and opening it to about 130 degrees is actually an even better way to watch widescreen video. There are a smattering of other tricks here and there. Holding up a palm in selfie-mode, for instance, let’s you snap a photo without touching a button or using voice.

The Flip is the first Samsung device to bake Google’s Duo video calling directly into the UI. It’s a nice choice, too, since the Flex mode is basically built for video calling. Oh, and to answer the question I’ve been asked the most since the Flip was announced: yes, you can end a call by closing the phone. And yes, it is satisfying to give the person on the other end a tactile snap.

The feature is on by default and can be disabled in the settings menu. It won’t work if you have earbuds in, however, because in many cases you’ll want to be using them to chat while the phone is closed in your pocket.

As for the outside, Samsung’s gone decidedly minimalist. The inclusion of an exterior screen was a big selling point on the Fold, but honestly it was too skinny with too small an aspect ratio to do much. The outside of the device has a glossy mirror finish — black in my case. And yeah, it’s a complete fingerprint magnet.

There’s a one-inch display of sorts on the outside of the Flip, but it’s only large enough for small at-a-glance information like battery life and time. It can also show off notifications, but it’s too small to accomplish much without scrolling. If you’ve ever attempted to read a notification on a hybrid smartwatch, the experience is fairly similar.

The little window is actually a touchscreen. A double tap will turn it on, and from there a swipe with show off information like the music you’re listening to. Attempting to click into an app icon for more information on a notification, however, will prompt you to open the phone for more information. Interestingly, the tiny screen also serves as a view finder. Double-clicking the fingerprint reader/power button will fire it up. It’s okay for getting a rough approximation of what you’re shooting (likely yourself), but is pretty useless beyond that.

Samsung’s flagships get a new level of premium, starting at $1,400

And honestly, I think that’s fine. In fact, I would even go so far as to say I think that’s actually a strength. In an era when so many of us are grappling with smartphone use, there’s something to be said for the ability to snap the device shut and disconnect for a bit. You can keep streaming music or listening to podcasts, but when the phone is closed, it’s time to engage with the world around you.

Or not. I’m not going to tell you how to live.

Hey, it’s your $1,400. There are plenty of other ways to spend that much money, of course. You could also pick up the Galaxy S20 Ultra — the mega premium version of Samsung’s latest flagship. For that price, you get the same-old boring form factor, coupled with some crazy high-end specs, including a 5,000 mAh battery, 12GB of RAM and the latest Snapdragon 865, versus the Flip’s 3,300 mAh, 8GB and Snapdragon 855+.

The Ultra also has an extreme edge on cameras, including a 108-megapixel wide angel, 48-megapixel telephoto, 12-megapixel ultra-wide and a time-of-fight sensor for depth. The Flip, meanwhile, sports a 12-megapixel zoom lens and 12-megapixel super-wide. There’s no competition, but Samsung’s breadth of imaging experience makes for a solid experience regardless.

Again, my time with the device has been limited, but so far I’m pretty satisfied with the combination of hardware an software options. The shots look good and have a nice color balance even in low light. I can’t see myself using Single Take too often, but the ability to get multiple different shot options with a single press could certainly prove useful for amateur photographers.

[gallery ids="1946884,1946886,1946881,1946882,1946883,1946885,1946887"]

Perhaps the most notable omission of all is 5G. While it’s true that a number of other companies (*cough* Apple) don’t even offer the option, Samsung introduced a 5G version of the Fold last year (in select markets) and went all in on 5G with the S20 line. It’s clear that the company took feedback over pricing concerns to heart with the Flip. The device is only available in a single configuration, highlighting the gulf between it and the Fold.

Which is to say, it’s still expensive, but that $500 or so makes a difference. So, too, does more robust build and new form factor. I’m recommending you buy the Flip. We’re still very much in the early stages of foldables here. That said, I can wholeheartedly recommend the Flip over the Fold. And while I haven’t really spent time with the Moto Razr, well, that seems like a slam dunk, too. 

Again, if I was Motorola, I would be considering, at very least, a significant price drop. While the Flip likely won’t convince the skeptical that foldables are the future, it should, at very least, be a heartening indication that Samsung is headed in the right direction.

from iraidajzsmmwtv https://ift.tt/3bHaL4a via IFTTT

[technicalsolutions88]

The Galaxy Z Flip ships with the same “Care Instructions” as the Fold. It’s a five-item list with the following basic points:

Don’t scratch the screen with a pen or fingernail

Don’t stick stuff between the screens when folding

Don’t get it dusty, wet or feed it after midnight

Don’t stick stickers to the screen

Don’t get it near credit cards or your pacemaker

Unlike the last time around, however, these warnings seem to have been included out of an (understandable) abundance of caution. As stated in my hands-on the other day, the Flip feels more solid than the Fold in just about every way, from the folding mechanism to the display, which now sports foldable protective glass.

Samsung Galaxy Z Flip hands-on: This is more like it

A couple of notes before we start here. First, and most importantly, this is a rare 24-hour device loan. Short loan times are not entirely uncommon with high-end products, but a single day is a bit extreme. I’m being upfront about this because:

You can only go into so much depth with limited time.

It’s worth noting what appears to be a bit of caution on Samsung’s part.

My Galaxy Fold display is damaged after a day

This isn’t a case of an early product in limited supply. The Z Flip went on sale today (happy Valentine’s/Sonic the Hedgehog Day to you and yours). If I had to venture a guess, it would be that Samsung is still reeling a bit from fallout from the Fold, which found a number of review devices breaking prior to the product hitting the market.

For all of the downside, however, I would argue that coverage that pushed the company to reinforce the product before actually selling it for $2,000 a pop was ultimately a good things. Besides, as was pointed out to me, most if not all of the faulty Folds went sideways before the 24-hour mark.

See also: the Moto Razr. Reviews of the product have started filtering in a week or so after the product hit the market. Seems the company opted not to give out review units until the product was already available (full transparency: I still haven’t gotten my hands on a review unit). The analogy I keep coming back to is movie reviews. If you don’t see any professional reviews by the time a movie hits theaters, that probably doesn’t bode well for spending $10 of your hard-earned cash.

None of this is an indictment of the Galaxy Z Flip, which so far is proving to be a pretty solid device. It’s more a comment on the optics of it all. Give than the handset is roughly the same price as 150 movies, reviews are all that much more valuable to consumers — many of whom are understandably wary after the category’s rocky start.

It’s a shame, because I’ve been enjoying my time with the Galaxy Z Flip. In many ways, this is exactly the device Samsung’s original foldable should have been. For starters, the form factor just makes more sense. The “why” of the Fold was significantly more difficult to explain to those outside the industry (and frankly, many of those inside it, as well).

Anyone who’s ever used a clamshell phone, on the other hand, will immediately get the Flip. You’ve got a roomy 6.7-inch screen that you can snap shut and stick in your pocket. It’s pretty much as simple as that — it’s just that there was a lot of innovation that had to happen in order to get us back to square one with a larger, uninterrupted touchscreen display.

Also of note is the price. Of course, $1,380 isn’t cheap by practically any measure, but that’s a pretty big drop down from the $2,000 Galaxy Fold. The argument that Fold users should have been extra careful with the device given its price point have always struck me as somewhat counter-intuitive. If anything, a device that price ought to have added safeguards built-in.

The Flip has implemented a number of learnings from the earlier product, namely a glass covering, edges hidden beneath (sizable) bezels and an advanced folding mechanism designed to keep dust and debris out. In fact, this time out, the folding mechanism itself is considered a marquee feature. Per Samsung’s press material:

Inspired by a lotus blossom, the Hideaway Hinge is precisely articulated for a satisfying folding motion — even allowing you to adjust the folding angle. Sweeper technology helps repel dirt and dust to keep your folds as smooth as your style.

That’s a marketing way of saying that it’s a lot harder to get crap trapped behind the screen, which could eventually break it. The folding mechanism is, indeed, a nice step up. It feels more robust than the sometimes floppy Fold. You can keep it open at different configurations, like a 90 degree “L” shape for watching videos.

The biggest downside of the more robust mechanism is that it’s harder to flip open with a single hand, owing to resistance, and it doesn’t have as satisfying a snap shut. Those all seem like pretty minor quibbles, to be honest — especially if it means a more robust product. Samsung rates the Z Flip at 200,000 folds — same as the Fold. Of course, in CNET’s testing, the Fold lasted about 120,000 mechanical folds.

Not terrible, and definitely better than the 27,000 or so the Razr made it through. Also, unlike Motorola’s device, the Flip doesn’t make a troubling creaking sound when it opens and shuts. The Razr really does seem awash in first-generation problems. Motorola can’t be pleased that Samsung introduced a competing device with the same form factor soon after its own product and was able to bring it to market roughly a week after the Razr.

I can’t imagine either of these devices will prove huge sellers for their respective manufactures, but if I was Motorola, the Flip would be cause for concern. The Razr went from an exciting new entry in the foldable category to another strike against it when it was released and both consumer and professional reviews began trickling in.

A little bit of the novelty has worn off for Samsung. That’s honestly not a bad thing. By the second generation, the product should no longer be reviewed as a sort of oddity. Instead, it should be regarded as a, you know, phone. And as such, should be subject to the same sort of regular wear any smartphones go through.

In other words, it’s reasonable to expect that it can withstand, say, a hard press from a finger but not necessarily a five-foot drop onto concrete. Again, this is only after a day of use, but so far, so good on that front, at least.

The 21.9×9 aspect ratio is an odd one. The phone is really tall and skinny. Also, the crease is still very noticeable — that much hasn’t changed. But the Flip looks mostly unremarkable when open. I was using it open on the subway ride home and no one seemed to notice (New Yorkers, amiright?). The Fold, on the other hand, drew curious looks every time I used it. If having strangers notice your expensive new phone is an incentive for spending $1,400, then that’s a downside, I suppose.

There haven’t been too many updates to the Android UI to accommodate the new screen paradigm. The biggest change is the ability to have two windows open in a vertical configuration. There’s also Flex model, which is currently limited to a select number of applications. Open, say, the camera app, bend the phone so it holds at a 90-degree angle and the app will adapt. In this case, the view finder moves up, occupying the top half of the screens while the controls take up the bottom. It’s a cool feature, with the device essentially serving as its own kickstand for things like taking selfies or reading the news.

Utilizing it more broadly is going to require more work on Google’s part — and more adoption from app developers. The latter especially is going to depend quite a lot on how many of these devices are actually sold. For now, YouTube is the one pure video app that utilizes it.

That’s fine, honestly, as turning the device to landscape mode and opening it to about 130 degrees is actually an even better way to watch widescreen video. There are a smattering of other tricks here and there. Holding up a palm in selfie-mode, for instance, let’s you snap a photo without touching a button or using voice.

The Flip is the first Samsung device to bake Google’s Duo video calling directly into the UI. It’s a nice choice, too, since the Flex mode is basically built for video calling. Oh, and to answer the question I’ve been asked the most since the Flip was announced: yes, you can end a call by closing the phone. And yes, it is satisfying to give the person on the other end a tactile snap.

The feature is on by default and can be disabled in the settings menu. It won’t work if you have earbuds in, however, because in many cases you’ll want to be using them to chat while the phone is closed in your pocket.

As for the outside, Samsung’s gone decidedly minimalist. The inclusion of an exterior screen was a big selling point on the Fold, but honestly it was too skinny with too small an aspect ratio to do much. The outside of the device has a glossy mirror finish — black in my case. And yeah, it’s a complete fingerprint magnet.

There’s a one-inch display of sorts on the outside of the Flip, but it’s only large enough for small at-a-glance information like battery life and time. It can also show off notifications, but it’s too small to accomplish much without scrolling. If you’ve ever attempted to read a notification on a hybrid smartwatch, the experience is fairly similar.

The little window is actually a touchscreen. A double tap will turn it on, and from there a swipe with show off information like the music you’re listening to. Attempting to click into an app icon for more information on a notification, however, will prompt you to open the phone for more information. Interestingly, the tiny screen also serves as a view finder. Double-clicking the fingerprint reader/power button will fire it up. It’s okay for getting a rough approximation of what you’re shooting (likely yourself), but is pretty useless beyond that.

Samsung’s flagships get a new level of premium, starting at $1,400

And honestly, I think that’s fine. In fact, I would even go so far as to say I think that’s actually a strength. In an era when so many of us are grappling with smartphone use, there’s something to be said for the ability to snap the device shut and disconnect for a bit. You can keep streaming music or listening to podcasts, but when the phone is closed, it’s time to engage with the world around you.

Or not. I’m not going to tell you how to live.

Hey, it’s your $1,400. There are plenty of other ways to spend that much money, of course. You could also pick up the Galaxy S20 Ultra — the mega premium version of Samsung’s latest flagship. For that price, you get the same-old boring form factor, coupled with some crazy high-end specs, including a 5,000 mAh battery, 12GB of RAM and the latest Snapdragon 865, versus the Flip’s 3,300 mAh, 8GB and Snapdragon 855+.

The Ultra also has an extreme edge on cameras, including a 108-megapixel wide angel, 48-megapixel telephoto, 12-megapixel ultra-wide and a time-of-fight sensor for depth. The Flip, meanwhile, sports a 12-megapixel zoom lens and 12-megapixel super-wide. There’s no competition, but Samsung’s breadth of imaging experience makes for a solid experience regardless.

Again, my time with the device has been limited, but so far I’m pretty satisfied with the combination of hardware an software options. The shots look good and have a nice color balance even in low light. I can’t see myself using Single Take too often, but the ability to get multiple different shot options with a single press could certainly prove useful for amateur photographers.

[gallery ids="1946884,1946886,1946881,1946882,1946883,1946885,1946887"]

Perhaps the most notable omission of all is 5G. While it’s true that a number of other companies (*cough* Apple) don’t even offer the option, Samsung introduced a 5G version of the Fold last year (in select markets) and went all in on 5G with the S20 line. It’s clear that the company took feedback over pricing concerns to heart with the Flip. The device is only available in a single configuration, highlighting the gulf between it and the Fold.

Which is to say, it’s still expensive, but that $500 or so makes a difference. So, too, does more robust build and new form factor. I’m recommending you buy the Flip. We’re still very much in the early stages of foldables here. That said, I can wholeheartedly recommend the Flip over the Fold. And while I haven’t really spent time with the Moto Razr, well, that seems like a slam dunk, too. 

Again, if I was Motorola, I would be considering, at very least, a significant price drop. While the Flip likely won’t convince the skeptical that foldables are the future, it should, at very least, be a heartening indication that Samsung is headed in the right direction.

from Mobile – TechCrunch https://ift.tt/3bHaL4a ORIGINAL CONTENT FROM: https://techcrunch.com/

[bestdaysus-blog]

Partner Dance Your Way To A Mate

I took ballet for many years as a kid - got tired of it when I became a surly, sullen teen and quit. I wanted to get back into dance but needed something various. There was a Center Eastern dance class that match my routine and my budget, and I thought, "Well, that's different, all right." So I attempted it and received hooked. Dance footwear ought to go with the dancing dress. Your dance shoes with heels should not appear awkward with the dress. The colour of dancing footwear should match with the colour of ballroom dress.

Ajmeri Gate Jaipur Bollywood Dance Classes

The bridal couple usually have their initial dance alone usually soon after the speeches and bulletins. The DJ will invite you to the dance flooring and the bride's father might reduce into your dance at some stage, most probably following a couple of photo pictures have been taken of the two of you. The bride dances with her father and then the groom with his mother.

You may be wondering how you can use this philosophy to textbook learning, simply because that is the regular route. Nicely the truth is that it may be impossible. You can however, consider topics or processes from textbook experiences and turn them into special projects. You can make investments in a chemistry set, or climbing gear or dance classes. You could also discover publications at the library or videos on YouTube. Very common, but nonetheless extremely special are flower bouquets that you can choose for the couples. You can, nevertheless, select the bouquets which the few likes for the bouquets.

Leading Dance Classes In Ajmeri Gate Jaipur

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What can dazzle the audience are the drops. Really dramatic. And with dance moves like the "pencil," "double star drop," and "skin the cat" who could resist the pleasure of watching these coil and launch moves.

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Zumba is an artistic dance, but what people do not know is that it offers a lot of well being benefits. Dancing is good for the physique. As a matter of fact, it is one way of maintaining your physique fit and healthy. By attending a Zumba dance lesson, your physique will be much more calm, versatile, and comfortable. Study through this post so that you will find related info about the health benefits of zumba. T: Subsequent time I come out to L.A. exactly where are we going to hang out? I'll work out with you but if I see Jackie coming my way to get me on the treadmill I'm operating for the hills. I saw the Kathy Griffin episode. Sideways, not a opportunity!

[itsloudstudentninja-blog]

Freeline Skating is the ideal new stimuli in the world

March 12, 2006 Since man invented the wheel, the promise of personal transport has been at your fingertips for anybody with a vivid imagination and a healthy dose of engenuity. Ice skaters desperate to skate all year round made the first recorded wheeled shoes around 300 years ago, and the first patent for a roller skate was issued in France in 1819. The roller skate achieved mass popularity across Europe and america a hundred years ago, with a huge selection of skating rinks attracting the young-at-heart. But the availability of advanced plastics in the sixties really exposed the realms of personal transport as successive waves of roller skating, inline skating (the invention of the RollerBlade and skateboarding captured the imagination of the youth of your day, creating sub-cultures, efficient personal transport and extreme athletes with the capacity of performing tricks that seemingly defy Newtonian physics. With advanced materials now designed for the fabrication of even the wildest ideas, new concepts for skating on tarmac keep coming and the latest such promising technology is Freeline Skates - one tiny, aluminium body, two-wheeled skateboard for each foot, ridden with a sideways stance such as a skateboard and with the capacity of being powered on the flat and even uphill by a body twisting motion. Tips Use your arms for balance. For beginners, it could seem helpful to spread your skates to a lot more than shoulder width apart to stabilize yourself, but actually the key to skate faster is by maintaining your skates close but not touching. A slightly steep surface is most beneficial to gain the horizontal S carving motion as you have sufficient momentum. Freeline skates were developed in 2003 in San Francisco, California when Ryan Farrelly was wanting to design a better way for downhill skating. His prototype for the skates was a row of four wheels in the heart of a wooden board. After test runs and adaptations, Farrelly realized he could simply stand on each set of wheels and not bother with a board. The skates incorporate components of both skateboarding and in-line skating, and will be ridden on flat land and also downhill or uphill. Out of this idea, Freeline skates were born. There are also other companies which exist to aid the skating community. Since Freeline Sports went bankrupt and turn off in 2015, rider Mattie Tyce helped to set up JMKRide, who sell a similar skate. Professional skaters in Japan call the sport free skates and in Taiwan prefer drift skates after Freeline skates departure from the scene, so that you can pull the identity from the brand. The word sideskating was also attempted to be popularized. The popularity of the original Freeline Skates brand style though, has left most of the people still calling it freeline skating. Freeline skates are a pair of skates designed to give the feeling of skateboarding, snowboarding, surfing, and inline skates all in one. They contain two separate metal or wooden plates with two wheels attached by a kind of “truck” designed especially for the skates. The technique used to skate with Freelines is unique to the skates, and is a challenging wave-like motion. The average person skates, when ridden together, produce speed, agility, and natural self-propulsion, enabling uphill motion. In the world of extreme sports, freeline skates are relative newcomers. Designed in 2003 in SAN FRANCISCO BAY AREA, inventor Ryan Farrelly was trying to design a better version of skates for downhill racing. Freeline skates were borne of the idea that instead of sitting on a platform on top of wheels, the rider can simply stand on each group of wheels, eliminating traditional skate construction. Unlike regular skates and blades, they are not strapped to the rider’s feet. Freeline skates are specifically designed to supply the feeling of skateboarding, surfing, and snowboarding, all at the same time. Some these skates involves two separate metal plates with two wheels attached to each plate using a specially-designed truck, much like how skateboard wheels are mounted on a skateboard deck. The wheels are shaped on both sides, rather than just one single side like standard skateboard wheels. Otherwise, the wheels appear to be quite similar to those used on skateboards. The aluminum plate is covered in grip tape, the same material that helps skateboarders’ feet grip their skateboards. Overall, the freeline skates look much like two miniature skateboards with dual independent wheels. New versions of freeline skates are being introduced every year as understanding of the sport develops and more people are attracted to it. freeline skates This history closely mirrors the first history of skateboarding and other extreme sports, when multiple varieties of skateboards were developed, often vastly not the same as each other. The technique used to skate with freeline skates is unlike any other sport. It is known to be quite challenging to learn, even for individuals who are aware of other extreme sports. Even when you already know how exactly to skateboard, snowboard, or surf, have a look at freeline skates for a distinctive challenge. Difficult to understand, there are even YouTube instructional videos to help seasoned skateboarders or snowboarders get the hang of the new style. Freeline skates are recognized for high traction on level ground and uphill, and these skates can be used almost anywhere. Freeline skates are used frequently on slight downhill slopes, and employ most of the same movements of other extreme sports, while adding a distinctive twist. This challenging sport provides great opportunities to use your skills in a new types of riding and invent new tricks. When riding, skaters take a sideways stance, similar to the stance used on a snowboard. Freeline skates are propelled similarly to snowboards, as riders shift their weight from heel to toe to improve direction. Turns using freeline skates create an ‘S’ shape. One of the most recent innovations in the world of extreme sports, freeline skating is a whole new way to propel yourself on wheels. This new design of extreme sport has been recommended as a way for snowboarders to keep up their skills during the summer months, and can be a fun activity for anybody who enjoys skateboarding or surfing. These portable devices are also the tiniest and lightest type of wheeled transportation available. Looking for a new challenge? Try freeline skates, the most recent invention in the extreme sports world. The skates are beautifully designed and it’s little wonder that the first major batch has been swallowed by a public that plainly is looking for that something different. The people at Freeline impressed us with their straightforward method of conducting business. Inventor and co-founder Ryan Farrelly was most concerned that we might supply the impression in this post that the skates were easily available. “In order to ensure full disclosure I want you to know that due to a big demand the Freeline Skates are on back order until April 18 (2006) at which time our production capacity could have increased by one factor of ten.” Our take is that tiny independent skateboards will fuel a whole new craze, that the US$129 price will need to go up to support the infrastructure as the business enterprise grows (not through greed, but through the easy economics of growing a business) and that Ryan, Jason Galoob and the guys at Freeline will see that their new ten times production capacity will be outstripped by the demand as public awareness grows and results in demand for the Freelines, which offer individuality in more techniques one. Why are we so bullish - just go check the stats. Inline skating started around 25 years ago. Through the entire nineties it grew in popularity and regularly ranked among America's 20 most popular sports, recreation and fitness activities surveyed by the National SHOE Association (NSGA), peaking in 1998 with 27 million active, regular participants. We suspect those production volumes will be upgraded many times in coming years. If you’d been attending to, you’d have known that the wheel’s been around for a fair little bit of time. That's, since 9500 - 6500 B.C. during the late Neolithic age, if anyone’s asking. Agriculture, pottery and eventually every crazy airborne thing you could want to do recreationally - skateboarding, Rollerblading, BMXing, biking - as well as the transportation that’d take you to and from a healthcare facility after aborted attempts to master them. Which is why we’re so happy about freeline skating. Clearly suitable for people for whom skateboarding is currently too easy and rollerskating and Rollerblading lack the requisite danger factor, freeline skating puts us one step nearer to minimizing our recreational mass in search of a good time. Imagine chopping out the center section of a skateboard and narrowing the wooden portion that is often attached to the trucks - the metal part that, axle-like, holds the wheels - to ensure that it fits under your foot. And then, with one on each foot, connected with nothing but your dreams and desires to go back home uninjured, you start moving outside. Fast. “It’s more like surfing,” said a 16-year-old skateboarder at a local skate park, the only person who’d cop to having tried it. “I mean, harder than [skateboarding] whether or not it looks easier and it works great here, but street style? No way.” Which in a way makes sense if you understand that skateboarding had originally been configured for surfers to increase their love of boarded motion to the streets after they’ve left the water. Something largely reflected in early boarding styles with the concentrate on fluid turns and even surfboard tricks such as for example “hanging 10,” surfing together with your toes hanging off the front end of your board. Then Per Welinder (and Tony Hawk and Rodney Mullen . 5 dozen others) arrived, and the more acrobatic street style that you see each time you visit a video of skateboarders, which is nearly everywhere, took ahold of individuals and never release. But given that freeline skates aren't strapped to your feet, you’re not likely to be doing rail slides or ollies or really anything you have to leap in the air to do. Smooth, swooping lines cutting across broad concrete walkways? Yes. Jumping up over stuff? Maybe not really much. freeline skates But there was only 1 way to determine, and $140 later I was poised to do just so. Which is not as comical as it might first sound, since with a history which includes skateboarding, surfing, snowboarding and unicycling, fer chrissakes, no one might have been more ready. And yet while they didn’t feel practically stable enough to sanely jump over stuff, the lure and the allure to be in a position to just yank something out of a biggish jacket pocket and glide? Had me sold. In a good, big parking lot. The biggest trick being pulled gets on and getting off in one piece. Freeline skates are a pair of skates made to supply the feeling of skateboarding, snowboarding, surfing, and inline skates all in one. They consist of two separate metal or wooden plates with two wheels attached by a kind of “truck” designed particularly for the skates. The technique used to skate with Freelines is unique to the skates, and is a challenging wave-like motion. The individual skates, when ridden together, produce speed, agility, and natural self-propulsion, allowing for uphill motion. There are currently three the latest models of of Freeline skates: Freeline OG - the original model, made out of reinforced aluminum. Freeline Pro - a hybrid model consisting of the traditional "S-frame"-style truck and a redesigned wood deck. Freeline Pro is actually supported by two C-shaped steel rods arranged into an S-shape outer skin. Freeline Cruiser/GROM - a more recent, light-weight model created for beginners, which supports a set of training wheels (Cruiser has 72mm and GROM 65mm wheels). Freeline skates were developed in 2003 in San Francisco, California when Ryan Farrelly was wanting to design a better way for downhill skating. His prototype for the skates was a row of four wheels in the center of a wooden board. After test runs and adaptations, Farrelly realized he could simply stand on each set of wheels and not bother with a board. The skates combine elements of both skateboarding and in-line skating, and will be ridden on flat land and also downhill or uphill. Out of the idea, Freeline skates were born. Additionally, there are other companies that exist to support the skating community. Since Freeline Sports went bankrupt and shut down in 2015, rider Mattie Tyce helped to create JMKRide, who sell an identical skate. Professional skaters in Japan call the activity free skates and in Taiwan prefer drift skates after Freeline skates departure from the scene, so as to pull the identity away from the brand. The word sideskating was also attemptedto be popularized. The popularity of the original Freeline Skates brand style though, has left many people still calling it freeline skating.

[robertkstone]

Choosing the 2017 Motor Trend Best Driver’s Car

Patron saint of literary cool Joan Didion—who stalked the steamy, smoggy canyons of Los Angeles in a Daytona Yellow 1969 Corvette Stingray—once said, “Rationality, reasonableness bewilder me.”

If only Didion were along for this year’s Best Driver’s Car competition.

There is nothing rational or reasonable about holding the keys to $1.9 million worth of the world’s dreamiest sports cars, exotics, grand tourers, and supercars.

It’s one thing to parse the packaging of family-friendly compact SUVs. That’s our day job. Best Driver’s Car is about the way a car makes you feel. It’s about the bees in your belly as you clip an apex, the giggles induced by the slingshot launch of barely restrained acceleration, and the sense of satisfaction that comes from the melding of man and machine. Where’s the cupholder for my latte in the McLaren? Can you fit anyone in that back seat of a 911? How much does that Ferrari 488 really cost? Don’t know. Don’t care.

Our Highway Patrol–assisted closure of California State Route 198 and subsequent invasion of Mazda Raceway Laguna Seca are the highlights of this event. But the Best Driver’s Car format actually began two weeks prior at Auto Club Speedway, when our testing trio of Kim Reynolds, Chris Walton, and Erick Ayapana took their first crack at our contenders with our battery of standardized instrumented testing.

To earn the title of Best Driver’s Car, a vehicle must deliver a balance of usable performance, intuitive handling, and driver-friendly design. The winner should be a vehicle with a multidimensional personality, a car that will delight and reward the enthusiast driver on any road at any time, regardless of weather and traffic conditions.

We had quite the field this year, with representation from Italy, Germany, Japan, England, and the V-8 thunder of American freedom. But as the test team crunched the test results, there was no clear leader. A storm was brewing.

Highway 198 Revisited

A four-hour drive along I-5’s trackless wastes brings us to our hotel in King City, California. Most of the other judges had convoyed up together around noon. But with most of California tucked into bed, associate editor Scott Evans and I made great time in the Aston Martin and Corvette. We rolled into the King City Days Inn a tick past midnight.

We were the last to arrive, but our hotel clerk couldn’t have been happier. It isn’t every day you get to meet a YouTube hero, a certain “Mr. Lieberman,” who earlier had given an impromptu car show to our host. His fan club is everywhere.

Highway 198 is a magical place, an undulating public two-lane roadway filled with tight switchbacks, sweeping curves, midcorner bumps, long straights, and panoramic views. It’s a gorgeous 4.2-mile stretch of roadway that climbs about 1,000 feet, allowing Motor Trend judges to test each contender at its (and their own) limits. Any shortcomings of either car or driver will be quickly identified on this passage. It is the mill that grinds the grist.

Just past daybreak, the ground fog still clearing, we pulled to the side of the road to set up camp, clean cars, and wait for the California Highway Patrol’s black and white Ford Explorers to close the road so we could begin.

After a team meeting, we fired up all 86 cylinders and commenced our first runs up the beckoning hills—each of us starting in the familiar car we had driven from L.A.

That meant the Chevrolet Corvette Grand Sport, intimidating in looks and sound, for me.

The ’Vette is really a sweetheart once set up properly—Driver Mode Select in Sport and the steering wheel set to Tour. In those modes, the throttle response is linear and quick, and the suspension is dialed in to maximize the car’s speed around corners. The steering is light and direct, though you need to make a conscious effort to slow yourself down because turn-in is still very quick. That doesn’t mean there isn’t room for improvement. “Needs 100 extra horsepower! Felt slow!” Jonny shouted after his turn behind the wheel. Also, the crowded seven-speed manual gearbox has rubbery, ropey throws and doesn’t like to be rushed, and the gear ratios felt too tall for the track-oriented Grand Sport. Said executive editor Mark Rechtin: “It seems like there was a big gap between the powerbands in third and fourth gear.”

Chevy used to sandbag the Camaro to avoid stepping on the Corvette’s toes, but those days are gone. The Camaro ZL1 1LE is an uncaged race car. As he pulled into our makeshift pit lane, Jonny could be heard screaming, “Yeaaaah!” and clapping his hands.

You’d think power would be why the Camaro works so well, but it’s actually grip that’s the key to this muscle car. Those steamroller-wide, superglue-sticky Goodyear tires work hand in hand with the DSSV dampers and the added aero aids to ensure that the Camaro can use each and every one of its 650 horses. “You quickly learn you can trust the tires as you unleash the power,” Detroit editor Alisa Priddle said. Scott added: “There’s a lot of vertical movement in the cabin, but the car never jumps sideways a foot when it hits a midcorner bump; it never moves around laterally at all.”

The downside to the Camaro’s grip is its ride quality—basically there is none. “I’ve encountered smoother paint mixers,” guest judge Derek Powell said. “The bouncing was so bad that I found myself reacting to that instead of focusing on the sheer act of driving.

The nuclear-waste green Mercedes-AMG GT R  provoked whoops and hollers from all of the drivers. A brutal supercar that rewards fortitude, the AMG needs to be driven flat out in order to properly enjoy it. Dig deep into the 577-hp twin-turbo V-8, and you’re compensated by a violent surge of power and the soundtrack “of a small arms factory exploding behind your hips every time you come off the throttle,” as Jonny put it. “Let it rip,” Alisa added. “The AMG has the power to get unruly, but it holds the road incredibly well.”

Although the Mercedes’ nose bites with ferocity—only fighting back once you approach its limits—the rear end wasn’t as well behaved even at sane speeds. “There were several times when the rear would hop side to side or even produce drop-throttle oversteer or on-power oversteer,” Chris said.

Unlike the Merc, it’s hard to get into trouble in the Mazda Miata RF. Like any good naturally aspirated engine, the Miata is happy to rev its way to redline, growling sweetly as you stab the clutch and flick the six-speed manual into its next gear. The Miata is not fast, but it rewards a driver’s skill.

Entering corners, the Miata RF is surprisingly tail-happy. Mazda rehashed the ragtop’s suspension for 2017, but the RF is unsettled. “It’s always dancing on the top of its springs and edge of its tires,” Scott said. With traction control on, the Mazda’s electronic systems are constantly grabbing at the brakes to keep the Miata’s tail in line—sapping the little power the RF has to give.

A better beginner sports car to explore one’s limits might be the Porsche 718 Cayman S. “The chassis is so beautifully balanced, the handling so predictable,” Derek said. “Each movement is connected directly to the brain’s synapses.” Scott agreed, adding: “Steering is among the best here—talkative and light, quick enough but not too much. I wish the Miata handled like this.”

The 718’s 350-hp mid-mounted turbo flat-four is a good match for the platform, too–even if some of our judges wish it sounded less like a garbage disposal eating a fork. Alisa silenced those critics: “There are those who miss the sound of the old throaty engine, but the trade-off for a nice, wide powerband is worth it.”

There isn’t much room for improvement in the 718, but the Aston Martin DB11 could use some help in the braking department. Its 600-hp V-12 is more than capable of getting its nearly 4,200 pounds of British aluminium going (and quickly at that), but it lacks the brakes or suspension to handle that heft on a twisty road.

The DB11 has three suspension settings, but all feel inadequate for spirited performance. Its body control was subpar, the car displaying a tendency to porpoise through corners and over bumps. “It’s a wonderful GT car and is happy at high speeds, as long as the road doesn’t twist too much,” Scott said. Upsides: The V-12 provides epic thrust, and the steering is beautifully weighted, light, and linear—just as a British GT car should be.

As the Aston’s counterpoint in the grand touring department, the Lexus LC 500 was a revelation, having done its homework on chassis and suspension tuning. “The fundamentals are all there,” Jonny said. Scott provided further details: “Weight transfer is nicely handled, and the car sits in a turn nicely.” The Lexus provides light, progressive feedback from the wheel, and its four-wheel-steering system helps make the LC feel smaller than it is.

The LC’s 5.0-liter V-8 makes a good match for the 10-speed auto, though the gearbox was frustrating for its abundance of overdrive gears. “How can this car have 10 gears and never, ever be in the right one?” Chris asked. “There were at least a dozen rejected downshifts.”

You’d expect the lone four-door sedan in our group to be soft, but it’s clear the Alfa Romeo Giulia Quadrifoglio “is a sports car regardless of how many doors it has,” Derek said. The Alfa’s sportiness is baked into its chassis; it’s a car that rewards smooth inputs yet begs to be driven hard. “This might be the best-handling sedan I have driven in 25 years of automotive journalism,” Mark said. “And yes, that includes the W124 and E39.” The 2.9-liter twin-turbo V-6 is laggy down low, but it hits you in the face with a sledgehammer once you’re above 2,000 rpm. Its eight-speed auto rattles off shifts as if it were a dual-clutch transmission.

Complaints? A few. The engine, for all its power, doesn’t communicate what it’s doing at redline, making shifting by ear difficult. Some also found the Alfa’s Italian electrics a little buggy, with inconsistent brake-by-wire feel and a seemingly overeager overheat protection mode that would impose a 5,000-rpm rev limiter on the engine and limit torque vectoring at the rear axle.

The other Italian in our group, the Ferrari 488 GTB, delivered thrills on an epiphanic level.

After piling out of the Ferrari babbling a red-mist rant, Mark calmed down enough to say, “This delivers every teenager’s fantasy when they think of Ferrari.”

The Ferrari 488 is one of those rare cars that makes you feel immediately at home despite its exotic appearance. The cabin is open and airy with a driver-focused interface. There are no distractions. Your hands hold a flat-bottomed, carbon-fiber and leather steering wheel, and all the needed controls are a finger’s reach away.

Not only does the 488 GTB feel magical merely sitting still, but it’s also glorious to drive. The Ferrari’s small twin-turbocharged engine makes 661 horsepower. “It’s a force of nature, like being picked up by a tornado,” Scott said. The 488 also carries tenacious grip “with a flat attitude and fingertip control while cornering at speeds 10 to 15 mph faster than other vehicles—with the same if not greater confidence heading down 198 as up,” editor-in-chief Ed Loh said. The Achilles’ heel for the Ferrari is its brakes—the carbon ceramics have a slightly wooden feel and squeak like the midnight subway to Coney Island.

If on the emotional scale the Ferrari is an embrace from a Victoria’s Secret model, the McLaren 570GT is a polite but firm handshake from gritty Bruce himself. Last year’s winning 570S was a highly rewarding and technical car, but in softening the 570 for grand touring duty, McLaren seemed to scrape away some of the special sauce. “It’s not what I would have expected,” Chris said. “This one feels far more ass-happy and less balanced and composed.” The 570GT feels stuck between sledgehammer and rubber mallet—it no longer drives like a supercar, but it’s not soft enough to drive like a proper GT.

The issue is especially apparent if you’ve forgotten to press the “Active” button. Turn on the Active Panel, and dig into the 30-some-odd possible drivetrain configurations, and that sharpens steering and throttle response. But then the handling becomes unpredictable. “There were times when I’d exit a corner and the engine and transmission would be ready for it, and I’d rocket out onto the straight at full boost,” Derek said. “Other times it felt like I caught the car unaware.” When the McLaren is awake, there’s a hint of that 570S magic in its fingertip-light steering, supple ride, and peaky but powerful little engine, but the 570GT’s inconsistency hurt its credibility.

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