#also i know the phrase is shaving but saying skinning is kinda fun

[arinmoss]

I have such severe depression that it's really been skinning years off my life. That im never getting back. Lol.

[obsidianfr3sk]

Catch me if I should fall

Summary:  “I, Hugh Everhart, swear to my best friend Georgia Rawles that if something happens to her, I will take care of her loved ones as if the same blood ran through our veins, as long as the sun and the sky shall endure.” He ignored his broken voice and put his hand over her fist, “But I also swear that I will never let her die. If she should fall, I will catch her.”

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26427151

I want to start by saying this fic is dedicated to my mother @dawniebb. She basically introduced me to the wonderful headcanon about how Georgia and Hugh were best friends and she actually asked him and Simon to take care of Adrian if something happened to her. Thank you for saving me from my cursed theories. 

This fic was in the back of my head during two weeks, I think, when you were worried about the support Hope Called Themselves the Renegades would have, and I wanted to cheer you up with this. But I didn’t had the inspiration to actually do it until now. Kinda late, considering HCTTR blew up, AND IF YOU HAVEN’T READ IT YOU FUCKING SHOULD. 

I still wanted to give this to you tho. My sister Nodrian told me it was a good idea. Dime que esto no tiene la misma energía que un niño dándole a su mamá un dibujo que hizo en el kinder xd

Also #Nodriannoleasesto. Spoilers. Sorry.

Also x2 I took inspiration from Tightrope, a song from The Greatest Showman soundtrack. I’m obsessed with it, I’m sorry, I can’t help it.

Also x3 this is very self indulgent

Age of Anarchy 

Year 20, Month 5

Hand in my hand and you promised to never let go,

we’re walking the tightrope.

High in the sky,

we can see the whole world down below.

We’re walking the tightrope.

Never sure, will you catch me if I should fall?

Well, it’s all an adventure

that comes with a breathtaking view.

He had heard of Bunny before. Evander and Tamaya had an encounter with her not so long ago when they were investigating some robberies that occurred in an area near the headquarters. She always stole jewelry or food. Bunny was not dangerous. 

But she could jump. 

Simon probably would have turned invisible to distract her and catch her off guard, Evander would blind her with one of his lights, Kasumi would stop her with a wave of water, Tamaya would throw lightning at her… but Hugh could only chase her and pray that she would get tired before he did.

They reached the bridge that connected the west and east side of Gatlon City. The sea was just below them.

Georgia passed over his head. Just in time.

Bunny was in the air when Georgia grabbed her by the wrist. The girl began to squirm and screech like a rabbit caught in a hunter’s trap.

“Not so fast, Bunny,” Georgia exclaimed. “Now—” she held out her hand, “—be a good little girl and give me that.”

Hugh caught up with them. He leaned against the bridge railing, under the dim light of a post, to catch up on air. Secretly, of course.

Bunny was not a little girl, she was already past fifteen. Yes, she was less than five feet tall and had the most crooked and huge teeth he had ever seen but that didn’t mean anything. Georgia needed to stop treating criminals like they were misbehaved children from daycare.

Although he had to admit it was fun watching her do it. It always made them mad.

“Never!” screamed Bunny.

“I know that it is not yours. It is not correct to steal things from older ladies who open their homes to you,” Georgia said as if it weren’t some general knowledge that stealing was wrong.

“That lady hates me! She hates me!” and bit her hand.

Georgia winced but didn’t let go.

“Hey, no biting!” Hugh ordered.

Bunny turned to see him, more furious than ever. “Nobody gives me orders, Captain.”

Then, Bunny kicked him in the chest and pushed him out to sea, letting out a more maniacal laugh than he’d ever heard come from a human.

He realized what had just happened until Georgia’s hands grasped his. At that precise moment, the violent waves that were under him crashed against the foundation of the bridge and Hugh felt a chill run down his spine.

Metal does not float.

Georgia brought him back to land and floated beside him. There was no sign of Bunny anymore, but he knew where she had headed.

“We need to go after her,” he muttered.

Georgia crossed her arms. “Not today, Captain. Let her go.”

But they couldn’t let her go. They both knew they could help her if Bunny let them, why wait for the next time they see her?

What if there was no next time?

He was about to tell her all that, when Georgia out of nowhere kicked him between the ribs slightly harder than usual. “Next time stay away from bodies of water,” she said reproachfully.

Hugh laughed and held the spot where he had hit him. “Yes, mother.”

Georgia was unfazed.

“I’m serious. What would have happened if I hadn’t held your hand? You do not know how to swim!” She took him by the chin to force him to turn to see her. “You could have died!”

He jerked out of her grip. Georgia sighed. She massaged her temple as she slowly sat down on the dirty pavement, frowning, and with her jaw clenched. 

She knew he didn’t like it when people touch his face like that.

“But … I didn’t die,” Hugh said. “What’s this all about?”

She turned to see him with teary eyes like she didn’t recognize him. “Are you not afraid of your own death?”

Hugh scoffed. “Are you?”

Georgia looked away. It can’t be.

You are afraid?

“I have to confess to you, Hugh. Death has terrified me too much lately.”

Impossible.

He sat by her side. Georgia leaned on his shoulder without thinking twice, invading him with familiarity.

“It’s just… well, I guess you’ve noticed that Adrian gets super nervous every time I go out,” Georgia explained. “And I have told him many times not to worry, that I will return safely. I even tell him that phrase— ”

Oh, he knew that phrase by heart. “Not even the darkest of nightmares, the loneliest of nights, or the worst of troubles—” he said.

“Can with the boldness, bravery, and joy of Lady Indomitable!” Georgia finished with a raised fist. “You should get yourself a catchphrase like this. It would be good for your brand.”

“I’ll think about it.”

Georgia went silent again. “The thing is, no matter how many times I tell Adrian I’m going to be okay,” she murmured sadly, “he’s still scared.”

“And you get scared too?”

“It’s not that,” she assured. “I know that I am the best and you all would be dead by now without me, but honestly, the five of you are already adults.” She gave a soft laugh from underneath. ”You’ll be just fine without me.”

He took her hand discreetly. They were smaller than his. And warmer. I wouldn’t.

“But Adrian… he’s so young,” Georgia continued. “He couldn’t live without me and the worst thing is that I couldn’t live without him. I get nervous at the slightest sign that he’s in danger. Like yesterday, when Kasumi bought him that lollipop, remember?”

Of course, he remembered.

“You stayed all afternoon watching Adrian eat the lollipop in front of the TV,” he replied, trying not to laugh. “Tamaya told you to stop harassing him.”

“Even Simon asked me if I didn’t think I was exaggerating. Simon! The one who told Evander when we went to the beach that if he didn’t put on sunscreen, he was going to get skin cancer and he was going to die right then and there!”

“In his defense,” Hugh said, “you can get skin cancer if you don’t put on sunscreen.”

“He wanted him to put on sunscreen at midnight. Do you know what the definition of ‘night’ is? It is the time of day when there is no sunlight.“

“But you agreed with him and forced Evander to put on sunscreen anyways,” he commented.

“In my defense, motherhood changes you.”

Silence returned.

The positive side of having been on the same team for the last ten years and spending entire nights silent to not give away their location is that there were no longer any awkward silences between them.

Georgia started playing with Hugh’s engagement ring. “Are you excited for your wedding? Because I am.”

“Are you trying to change the subject?”

“Maybe.” She took it off and put it on herself. “Are you excited?”

“Of course. Tomorrow is the big day.” Georgia gave it back to him like nothing. “I hope you already wrote your speech.”

“Obviously. I don’t think I should walk you down the aisle though. I will look much better than you.”

“That’s debatable.”

They had barely managed to get suits for him and Simon. Casually, the father of Kasumi’s new friend was a minister and had agreed to marry them off. He had even lent them the backyard of her house, where he had beautiful rose bushes and a well-kept lawn.

They were all very excited. Evander was about to physically fight with Adrian because they both wanted to be the ones who hold the rings. In the end, Adrian won, not only because Georgia wanted Adrian to deliver the rings so badly, but also because Evander was no longer a lovable nine-year-old and wouldn’t have the same impact. He was even starting to grow facial hair. Tamaya told him that he was going to have to shave for the ceremony and that if he didn’t, she would personally take care of removing every last hair from his body.

Simon managed to please Evander when he told him that he could be his best man. Kasumi would be the maid of honor. They had bought her a secondhand pale pink dress, but on her, it looked like it had just come out of a magazine. The five of them wanted Tamaya to be the “flower woman”, but she flatly refused. She wanted to be a godmother and walk Simon down the aisle. She was not going to settle for less.

It wasn’t going to be the wedding of the century, but it was the perfect wedding for him.

“You have to promise me something.”

He turned to see her. Anything.

“If something happens to me, I want you and Simon to take care of Adrian.”

The answer escaped his lips immediately. “No.”

“Excuse you?”

Hugh shook his head. “I’m not going to promise you that.”

“Why the hell not?” Georgia asked, angrily.

“Because nothing is going to happen to you. Not if I can stop it.”

She rolled her eyes. It wasn’t something she did very often. “Wow, so heroic. Do you want a medal? Come on!” she exclaimed, holding his arm tightly. “It doesn’t cost you anything. Pinky promise, okay? “

“Lady Indomitable, you are already a thirty-year-old woman,” he scolded her.

“What, you can’t promise things for pinky anymore when you turn thirty or what?” she asked. playing confused.

He clenched her jaw, fighting to stay immune to her words. “No, you can not.”

“That’s debatable. The good news is that I’m twenty-nine. Come on … Or I’ll tell Simon to send you to sleep on the couch.”

Now it was his turn to roll his eyes. “I’m already sleeping on the couch. Tamaya doesn’t let us sleep in the same bed, she says it wouldn’t be very Christian of us.”

“Okay, if you pinky promise me what I told you, I will convince Tamaya to let you sleep in the same bed as Simon, deal?”

A tempting offer. But he couldn’t accept it.

Hugh could promise many things. He could even lie about promising many things. However, he couldn’t lie to Georgia, much less could he promise her something that he wasn’t going to keep.

Because nothing was going to happen to her.

“I’m not going to promise you that,” he sentenced. “You are going to raise Adrian. And when Simon and I have kids of our own, they and Adrian will be like siblings, and they will play in the backyard of our great mansion, and I don’t know, probably they will wear matching Christmas sweaters.”

“Our kids like… siblings?”

“Yes. We have discussed it,” he replied. “We want to have children. You know, adoption.”

“Oh, adoption, yeah…” Georgia mumbled. “I thought it was a weird way of asking me to be a surrogate mother.”

She raised her eyebrows. “And is this a strange way of offering yourself as a surrogate mother?”

“Stars, no. Although I make very hot babies.”

“That is so wrong,” he replied with a laugh.

Georgia was laughing. Her cheeks were flushed with embarrassment. “It was so wrong, I’ll never use that adjective to describe a baby again.”

“Please.”

Georgia took his hand again. The question he asked hit him like a bucket of cold water. “What would you like me to do for you if you died?”

He couldn’t. He couldn’t lie to Georgia.

“I don’t like to think that I am capable of dying. I am indestructible.”

“Indestructible, not immortal,” Georgia stressed. “We are not gods.”

He gazed at the stars. When the entire city had electricity again, it would be difficult to speak to those who were now watching them from above.

He had to see the stars while he could.

“I wish we were. That way we would never die. ”

Georgia sighed and squeezed his hand lovingly. “Dying is not why we all think it is. I believe that real death is being forgotten.” She looked up at the stars too. Her dark eyes were illuminated by the moonlight. “That’s what I truly fear.”

He would have liked to tell her that he too was afraid of that death. To tell her that he was also absolutely afraid of being forgotten, and not at all of the idea of becoming another star in the sky.

But it would be lying.

And he couldn’t lie to Georgia.

“You’ve convinced me. I’m going to make you the promise you want.” Georgia squealed like a little girl and hugged him quickly. “But if I’m going to promise something, it has to be… stylish. With big words.”

“Wow, a ritual oath. I like it.”

The two of them sat across from each other. The only thing that was heard for a while was the sea waves. It no longer gave him the creeps at all. Hugh thought carefully about what he was going to say and Georgia couldn’t help but smile.

How could she find the beauty in such a morbid oath?

“Ready?” he asked.

Georgia straightened up and extended her little finger. “I was born ready.”

Hugh locked his pinky with hers. It felt like they were back to being the teenagers they were when they first met. They had both changed a lot. Georgia had longer hair, stronger muscles, and a less scared expression. However, she still had the same perfect smile and kind eyes as when he first saw her.

He wondered how he had changed.

Georgia got tired of waiting.

“Look, I’m feeling nice today, so I’m going to promise the same back to you, all right?” Georgia asked. “I’ll go first. I, Georgia Rawles, swear to my best friend Hugh Everhart, that if something happens to him, I will take care of his loved ones as if the same blood ran through our veins, as long as the sea and the mountains shall endure.” She gently placed her other hand over his fist and added, “But I also swear that I will never let him die. If he should fall, I will catch him.”

Hugh was left speechless. He could feel the tears about to come out of his eyes. Get a grip, Captain.

Georgia noticed immediately. “Are you crying?”

Hugh removed his mask and wiped away a tear. “Modern men are not afraid of their feelings.”

“What a sentimental softie.”

But she also had tears in her eyes.

Why were they like that?

He put the mask back on. It was his turn.

“Okay. I, Hugh Everhart, promise you— “ Shoot. “Um, I don’t want to copy you. For what would you like me to say instead of ‘mountain and sea’?”

“How about… the sun and the sky?”

It was perfect.

“Well well.” He took a breath. Here we go. “I, Hugh Everhart, swear to my best friend Georgia Rawles that if something happens to her, I will take care of her loved ones as if the same blood ran through our veins, as long as the sun and the sky shall endure.” He ignored his broken voice and put his hand over her fist, “But I also swear that I will never let her die. If she should fall, I will catch her.”

And if I ever break this promise, I have no idea what the hell I would do. 

Suddenly, a knife tore through the air violently and slammed into the light pole. They both broke free and backed away. Georgia was immediately on her guard, prepared to smash the face of anyone who dared throw the knife at them. Hugh leaned closer to get a better look at it. It had a dark green handle and a golden point. There was a folded paper at its end.

Nightingale.

He opened the letter. Nightingale had more chaotic handwriting than usual.

Captain, the Savior has learned that Sandman has been the one who gives him nightmares and has sent a plague to finish him off. They need help right now.

—N.

“Indomitable,” he called her. “Look.”

Georgia took the letter from him. Her eyes widened. As soon as she finished reading it, they both turned to see each other.

Ace… Alec knew David had given him away. And he was going after him.

He had to do something.

“See you at headquarters.”

Georgia got in his way. Her face was more serious than ever. “No, I’ll go,” she sentenced.

“What? No, you won’t.”

“You will not arrive there running. Not on time,” she assured. “They need help right now.”

Hugh looked away. “But—”

“Hey, hey.” Georgia grabbed his chin again, with a love that only she had. “Remember. Not even the darkest of nightmares, the loneliest of nights, or the worst of troubles…”

He sighed and smiled for her.

“Can with the boldness, bravery, and joy of Lady Indomitable.”

She squeezed his nose playfully. “See you at headquarters.”

Hugh watched her fly away at top speed until she disappeared in the dark. He turned and ran back to headquarters. The rest of the team needed to know what was happening.

He could lie to everyone. But she couldn’t lie to Georgia.

Hugh had already made a promise. And he had to fulfill it.

I will catch you if you fall.

[bing-fucker]

mark and jamie gettin it on + voyeur benji 👀👀👀 (bonus points, one of them sees him watching but keeps going and actually gets more turned on)

So fun fact. The first time I tried writing this, Tumblr crashed when I tried to post it and destroyed all my work. I tried to write it a second time and my notes app crashed and I lost all my progress. So this is actually the third time I’ve tried to write this prompt, and you know what? I love it. I genuinely think this is the best version of it I’ve written. Also, I just love this prompt as a whole.

Looking back on it now, I realize that Jamie might come across as a little rude or unnecessarily cruel to Benjamin, given he knows that Benjamin is there and still wants Mark to say that he isn’t attracted to him and doesn’t love him, but I promise that he isn’t doing it to be intentionally hurtful. Jamie is just insecure because Mark is technically married, and has hundreds of adoring fans. He’s scared of Celine returning or Mark leaving him for someone more interesting, and it kinda shows in possessive behavior and being a bit mean to Benjamin.

Warnings: Nonconsensual voyeurism, lube-less sex, underwater blowjobs, possessive behavior, use of the phrase “sex kitten”. As always, ask me to add any necessary warnings!

Mark was taking a bath. He took one at least once a day, usually in the morning to wipe off all the grime of the day before and the night. Sometimes he took two a day if he’d been filming or had had a particularly rigorous workout. Although he only washed his hair every other day, because he had a sensitive scalp and didn’t want to dry his scalp out.

Of course, none of that was to say that Benjamin was spying on his master! He would never do such a thing! He was merely… keeping watch. It was for his master’s protection! With a no good gold digger like that Jameson Jackson around, Benjamin had to keep watch to protect his master! It was only right! After all, his master was still recovering from Mistress Celine running away (she had always been no good. Benjamin had always thought so. No good, and certainly not good enough for Master Mark)! Benjamin had to protect his master! He certainly wasn’t admiring the way the water looked gliding down the master’s skin, or how the master’s wet hair shone beneath the morning light! And he most certainly was not thinking about how the master’s member looked, still standing stiff from whatever dream he’d woken up to, as he had climbed into the water.

The manor was full of all sorts of secret passages - some that Benjamin could swear did not exist when he first came to the manor. But the manor had always been a bit strange - and Benjamin often put them to good use. Not for his spying, of course. Merely for the sake of keeping a watch on the master. Make sure he was safe. That was where Benjamin was now, hiding in the space between walls and watching through a thin slat that allowed him just enough to see the master’s full body from afar.

“Oh?”

Benjamin was shaken out of his thoughts by the sound of the master’s voice echoing through the bathroom. Benjamin stiffened. Mark was looking almost directly at him, an amused smirk on his face.

“I can see you, you know,” Mark said, laughing softly and sitting up. There was a gunshot scar right over his heart. Oh, how Benjamin wished he had been the one to save Mark that day and be the one to press kisses over the wound and assure Mark that he was beautiful no matter what.

“It’s okay, I’m not mad.” Was he speaking to Benjamin? He had to be, right? Benjamin was the only one over here, right?

“Come here, beautiful,” Mark said, smile soft and welcoming.

Benjamin almost reached for the doorknob to enter the bathroom, but then someone stepped into his view.

-

Jamie blushed faintly, stepping out from behind the screen he had been shaving behind. He’d already finished shaving when Mark had come in, and he’d been too shy to leave.

“Were you spying on me?” Mark asked, smirking playfully.

“I was not!” Jamie protested, blushing more. “You just happened to come in at a rather inopportune moment!”

“Mmm,” Mark hummed disbelievingly. “I’m definitely convinced of that.”

“Well, you should be! It is true!” Jamie replied, crossing his arms and pouting.

“All right, I will,” Mark laughed. “Come join me, dollface. The water is great.”

Jamie rolled his eyes playfully and turned his back to Mark, slowly beginning to strip out of his pajamas. He smirked, looking directly at Benjamin’s hiding spot as he stripped and offering the hidden butler a wink as he turned around and strode over to Mark. Mark grinned and, gripping his hips, carefully helped Jamie into the water and onto his lap.

“Well, hello there,” Mark whispered, grinning up at Jamie.

“Hello to you, too,” Jamie replied, blushing.

“Your mustache looks very nice,” Mark complimented, gently stroking Jamie’s mustache.

“I already groomed it for the day.”

“I plan to ruin that.”

“I figured you would.”

Mark laughed softly, leaning in as Jamie kissed him firmly. He gently rubbed circles against Jamie’s hip bones with his thumbs as the younger man gripped Mark’s hair possessively, gently pulling his head to the side and trailing kisses down to his throat. Mark gasped as Jamie bit his throat harshly, hips jerking up against the little gentleman as Jamie sucked a dark mark against his throat before moving his head around, seemingly trying to make a whole ring of his marks around Mark’s throat.

“Well, you’re certainly in a mood of some ki-” Mark cut himself off with a sudden loud moan as Jamie’s head disappeared beneath the water and Mark’s cock was suddenly enveloped by the familiar, warm heat of Jamie’s mouth.

- 

Benjamin had been seen. He’d been seen! Jameson had seen him- had winked at him! Benjamin should have left right at the moment Jameson had stepped out. Keeping an eye on Mark was one thing, but Benjamin had no right to look at Jameson! Jameson may have been some horrible little child that didn’t deserve Mark, but he was still Mark’s! Benjamin had no right to see his naked body and now…

Well. It was impossible to deny. Jameson’s head had disappeared, and now Mark was moaning. It was impossible to deny that Jameson was currently enjoying the privilege of having the master’s cock down his throat. And he was apparently very good at it if Mark’s moaning was any indication. Benjamin shifted, trying to pretend that it was only discomfort he was feeling. Trying to pretend as if there was no tent in his slacks as he watched Mark’s head fall back beautifully, sunlight shining over the bruises on the tanned skin of his throat. Bruises that Benjamin wished he had had the pleasure of leaving.

Before he knew what he was doing, Benjamin’s cock was out of his trousers and in his hand as he listened to Mark’s moaning. It was very easy for him to imagine the feeling of Mark’s cock down his throat, the feeling of Mark’s soft hand in his hair. Mark had yelled for Benjamin enough times that it was very easy for the butler to imagine those shouts as moans of pleasure. Benjamin bit his lip to hide a moan as he imagined that it was his name on his master’s lips.

- 

“Jamie~” Mark moaned, gripping Jamie’s hair tightly as the younger man came out from under the water. He was soaking wet and his lips were swollen. Mark groaned softly, swiping his thumb against Jamie’s bottom lip.

“God, you’re perfect, dollface,” Mark breathed, pulling Jamie closer and kissing him deeply. Jamie grinned into the kiss pulling away after only a few seconds and turning around.

“You know, I think I’ve corrupted you,” Mark commented, groping Jamie’s ass with one hand and using the other to finger him open. “You used to be perfectly innocent when I met you. Sweet little starlet, all wide-eyed and excited for the world.”

“I was never perfectly innocent,” Jamie replied, moaning softly and pressing back against Mark’s hands.

“You were,” Mark replied, laughing softly. “I remember the first time we had sex. You were adorable.”

“Are you saying I am not adorable now?”

“Oh, you definitely are. But a different kind of adorable. Now you’re my adorable little sex kitten,” Mark purred, lining his cock up with Jamie’s entrance and slowly pushing in, drawing moans from both himself and the small starlet beneath him.

“Sex kitten?” Jamie shot a look over his shoulder.

“Yeah,” Mark laughed. “Like it?”

“It is horrible.”

“I knew you’d love it.” Mark grinned and rolled his hips, drawing a sharp gasp from the younger actor beneath him. Mark moaned softly as he started to fuck Jamie in earnest, gripping the smaller’s hips tightly. Jamie moaned, gripping the lip of the tub and squeezing his eyes shut as he moved in tandem with Mark.

- 

Benjamin hated it. Hated seeing Mark with someone that wasn’t himself. Mark deserved so much better than anyone who had ever presumed to touch him. But even Benjamin had to admit that Mark and Jameson looked good together. They looked better than good, in fact, they looked incredible. They were opposites in appearance. Mark was- well, tall was a generous term, but certainly taller than Jameson, and tanned and clean-shaven and muscular. Jameson was small and pale and had well-groomed facial hair, and a delicate frame. It was hypnotizing to see them move together. To see the way their bodies fit together so well.

Benjamin bit his lip harder, squeezing his eyes shut and trying to block out the image of how beautiful Jameson looked being fucked by his master. Trying to block out the idea that, perhaps, it was Benjamin that didn’t deserve to touch his master like that. After all, he could never be as beautiful and delicate as Mark liked.

But that didn’t matter, he reminded himself. What mattered was what was inside. Sure, Jameson was gorgeous, but he wasn’t worthy! Mark deserved someone who would be devoutly loyal to him, and Jameson was far too young for that. The young ones never lasted. Jameson should have been gone within the week, having gotten bored. He shouldn’t still be here after a year.

Benjamin shook his head firmly, clearing his mind of any thought of Jameson and instead focusing on the moans of his master and the feeling of his hand around his cock. It wasn’t easy to imagine his hand as Mark’s - Mark’s hands were much softer than Benjamin’s - but it was easy to get lost in his own fantasy at the sound of Mark’s moans. Images of Mark pinning him against the wall flooded his mind. The idea of his master so firm and commanding, Benjamin’s marks around his throat as he fucked the butler over every surface in the manor.

Benjamin barely noticed that he’d cum at the same time as his master.

-

Mark groaned softly, kissing Jamie deeply as they came in tandem, his cock buried deep in the small starlet. Jamie moaned softly into the kiss, pulling away after a few seconds to press his forehead against Mark’s. Mark smiled and held Jamie lovingly, moving so they were leaning against the back of the tub, Jamie in his lap with his back against Mark’s chest.

“You’re beautiful,” Mark commented, smiling softly.

“So are you,” Jamie replied, leaning his head against Mark’s shoulder and resting his arms over Mark’s.

“Would it be ridiculous if I said I loved you?”

“A little.”

“Okay.” Mark smiled softly and kissed Jamie’s cheek. Jamie smiled and blushed faintly, leaning into the kiss.

“You never mark me this much. Do you want to talk about what’s got you in a possessive mood?” Jamie frowned and moved away from Mark, turning around to straddle his hips and looking at him seriously. Mark shifted around, looping his arms around Jamie’s waist.

“Benjamin is in love with you.”

“I know. It’s very obvious. I thought it didn’t bother you?”

“It does. I don’t like how he looks at you. Do you love him?”

Mark smiled softly and cupped Jamie’s cheek with one hand, gently rubbing the starlet’s cheekbone with his thumb. “You have nothing to worry about, dollface.”

“I want you to say that you don’t love him, or are even attracted to him.”

“I do not love Benjamin, dollface, nor am I even attracted to him. And even if I was, nothing could ever come of it.”

“I know that. But I still don’t like it.” 

“What would you have me do about it?”

“Promise me,” Jamie signed firmly. “Promise me that you’re mine for as long as possible.”

“Only if you promise me the same.”

“I promise.”

“Then I promise.”

If either noticed that Benjamin was tearful for the rest of the day, they didn’t care to comment.

[disappearinginq]

The Electric Boogaloo

This is a very rare political (sort of) post for me, so feel free to scroll on by. I don’t know how many people in the US know what the phrase “electric boogaloo”, but it’s a reference to an expected (and some believe impending) civil war. It’s kinda terrifying, but I am a dark humor sort of person, and I must share with people who may not be keeping up on the current state of affairs with our military versus our president. 

Here’s the deal: everyone knows that the President of the US in the head honcho of the military. What most people don’t know is that there is a serious rift growing between the US Navy and the federal government, and it reads like a goddamn soap opera, and I must share because it’s my former ship leading the charge and I am so proud of those little shits. 

Set the stage: COVID-19 has disabled a huge chunk of the world. It’s not a secret, every news cast is about how more people are sick and more people are dead and the general seagull death spiral of society on a whole. Reports are in about how the Theodore Roosevelt has cases onboard, and they’re docking in Guam. No secrets, public knowledge. 

Several days go by and a letter from the CO, Captain Crozier, is shown to the media openly begging for Big Navy to do something in support or sailors will die unnecessarily. It reveals nothing of things that aren’t already widely known. He asks that the sick be allowed to get off the boat to do an actual quarantine in the empty hotels on the island so that they limit the spread of the virus because on a Navy vessel, you’re lucky to have six inches of personal space, never mind the 6 feet. These ships can have up to 5000 people on them, with three doctors (and that’s pushing it). There are no beds in medical. You serve sick time in your own bed, surrounded by 50 of your shipmates at any given time. Big Navy has decided to take their sweet ass time with a rapidly spreading virus, and basically tells him “we’re looking into available options” and then crickets. 

Thanks to the media getting a hold of it, Big Navy is shamed into providing aid. In less than a day after the letter finds it’s way to the media and the American people, POOF. The sick are offloaded, quarantined, and given medical help. The majority of the crew remains onboard. 

Cue the Electric Boogaloo lead in: First reports are Big Navy (the bureaucratic long arm of the Navy that decides morale is low and therefore forbids sailors to grow beards, and discharges anyone with a skin condition that prevents them from shaving every day, but separate issue) says that while they were unhappy that Crozier went outside the chain of command, likely nothing will happen to him. Next thing we know, Crozier is relieved of duty, in the dead of night. Every crew member onboard the boat meets him as he is departing, some in uniform, some in civvies, all standing at attention until he departs the boat, where he is saluted off and literally cheered by hundreds of men and women while they chant his name. This video also makes it’s way on to social media. Social media is trending with #IstandwithCaptainCrozier. Big Navy sends a fucking Admiral to the boat to take over - this is 1) either that Admiral done fucked up hard or 2) they need that level of pull to hush everything up and Big Navy things extra stars = more obedience. 

So now the shit show really begins. The Secretary of the Navy - SECNAV - is a newly appointed Trump crony who has a whopping total of 7 years in the Navy back in the 80′s and has literally been a pencil pusher since then. He flied alllll the way down to Guam to deliver an absolutely inspiring speech where he basically calls all the sailors onboard a bunch of whiny bitches, curses them out multiple times, and calls Crozier - remember, their beloved CO - too naive or too stupid to be in charge of a carrier. If you would like to listen to it, here is the link (I love listening to the crew’s reactions). 

https://taskandpurpose.com/news/modly-theodore-roosevelt-audio

The SECNAV stayed on the boat for less than 30 minutes, 15 of which was spent reaming out the crew, and then left without addressing a single concern. 

Shocker of shockers, the audio gets uploaded to the media. The outcry is amazing. Anyone who defended him before is stunned into silence that this man, who looks like the villain from Billy Madison, has the balls to go to a warship and bitch them out  - not about violating OPSEC - but for embarrassing him. The awkward position they put him in having to actually do his job. Congress and Senate members comment “I’ll be surprised if he lasts the night” - I have no idea if they meant he was gonna get lynched (which, to be honest, I would not have been surprised at) or fired. 

The course of Monday and the SECNAV’s defense is better told in bullet points: 

- “I stand by every word, even the swears”

- “I didn’t call him stupid or naive, I meant he purposely leaked the letter”

- “I have the highest regard for Captain Crozier, am I am sorry for the hurt that my words have caused”

- “Please stop sending death threats”

- “I quit”

Yo, this bitch was straight up online bullied into quitting and he was supposed to be charge of one of the largest military branches the United States has. 

Now, one might think this is the end of it. Nope! So here’s the shit leading up to this - the secretary of defense retires - a man named Mad Dog Mattis, who’s famously quoted “be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everyone you meet” (amongst others) left his position with a public letter denouncing Trump’s treatment of our long standing allies. Yeah. The guy who talked about having plans to kill people quits over morality. The SECNAV before Modly (guy who just got bullied out by online harassment and public calls for his death) was fired because he refused to back Trump’s order to pardon the war criminal Eddie Gallagher, a former SEAL who was turned in by his own guys and called ‘evil’. 

So this is fun now, right? Modly fires Crozier because he’s mad that he was embarrassed in front of the President and the country (Trump says he wouldn’t have fired Modly if he hadn’t resigned, because he didn’t think he was in the wrong), going against the Navy’s Top Brass (the top Admiral Gilday who is the CNO, and miltary’s top general, Milley, chairman of JCOS). Trump’s administration overturns the Navy’s conviction of Gallagher because “he’s a good guy”. 

“Mr. Modly has become a vehicle for the president. He basically has completely undermined, throughout the TR [the Theodore Roosevelt] situation, the uniformed leadership of the Navy and military leadership in general.” - Admiral Milley in a NYT article concerning Modly’s address to the crew.

The article concludes with “The Trump Administration’s handling of the crisis aboard the Roosevelt reflects a growing divide between senior uniformed commanders and their civilian bosses.”

The conclusion I draw in this HYAH!SHITSHOW: I can’t believe the lynchpin for the revolution is my old goddamn boat, and I miss it by a scant few years. 

And, just in case you don’t believe me about the Billy Madison comparison: 

[partynthem]

to expand on my nonsense concert notes from last night (it’s long lmao ya girl has a lot of thoughts)

- i would like to start by just thanking lauren @enthusiasm-paraphernalia for existing

- the keyboard alex plays on stage is literally three feet tall. i’m genuinely not joking it is so fucking short. the actual smallest keyboard in the world for the world’s tiniest man.

- i still deeply miss alex’s hair but his shaved head isn’t that bad in person. it’s alright. his hair is objectively better and he doesn’t look like himself but whatever it’s fine i’m fine

- ahhhh during the view from the afternoon it was just the four OG monkeys on stage and i was and still am crying abt it

- alex announced teddy picker by just shouting ‘TEDDY PICKER!’ into the microphone. thanks. and then during the song when it got to the solo he played maybe three notes and then threw his arms around a bit leading me to believe he forgot how to play the solo

- we were fucking up in arms when they didn’t transition to crying lightning after teddy picker tho like the three of us were just shouting at them as if they could hear us and as if they gave a single shit abt our opinion of their setlists

- during knee socks alex started reaching over from where he was standing to the keyboard and my eyes are bad so i thought he was trying to grab tom’s mic but he was actually just reaching for his sunglasses that he’d put on the keyboard earlier skhjfsdgfd but he was in such a weird position cos the keyboard was slightly out of his reach so he was bending and twisting and it was so extra to witness

- ok they played view from the afternoon, teddy picker, do me a favour, and knee socks all in a row and those are legit my top four am songs so i was Fuckin Sweating it was so much all at once

- also during do me a favour he mimed the ‘well her shoes were untied’ line by fucking stomping????? like i understood he was demonstrating untied laces but he lit just stomped

- before wyocmwyh he was saying nonsense and i may have misheard but i SWEAR he said the words ‘washy going down on a sunday nighhhttttt’ . washy..... alex no

- during wyocmwyh alex was rly feelin it and miming shit like there was no tomorrow and at the ‘get through the gears’ line 1. he said shift through the gears and 2. he mimed shifting gears in a car and it was like watching him try to swim during the line in one point perspective. he doesn’t know how to drive or swim i guess. can he do anything??? anyways. during one of the choruses after he sang ‘why’d you only call me when you’re high?’ he pointedly said matt’s name while staring him down implying matt only calls him when he’s high. casual.

- alex was just yelling so many random phrases during/between songs (which he didn’t do as much the first night he seemed to be having way more fun last night) and after wyocmwyh he said ‘getting to know youuuuuuuu’ and during pretty visitors during the break in the song he said ‘what are you on about?’ and like. what am I on about??? you’re the one that fucking wrote pretty visitors alex what are YOU on about

- THEY PLAYED AMERICAN SPORTS AND LAUREN AND I HAD THE MOST DRAMATIC PHYSICAL REACTION TO IT STARTING WE BOTH JUMPED AS THOUGH WE’D BEEN ELECTROCUTED AND LOST OUR DAMN MINDS I STILL CANT BELIEVE THEY DID IT

- alex screamed so much during brianstorm and not his usual ‘YEAHHHH’ but more ‘AHHHHHHHHHH’ and so many times. like five different times in that 2 min 53 second song

- matt is just so fucking talented and good at what he does and is so mesmerizing to watch i am forever impressed by him

- alex kept taking his sunglasses off and then putting them back on jkhfssd it happened so many times and was so dramatic he just could not make up his fucking mind on whether or not he wanted to be wearing them

- the vox was having issues during do i wanna know and someone (dave i think) came out on stage during the song and was fiddling w it and alex was still trying to play and then once the guitar was fixed he said ‘it’s back!’ and then continued on w the song

- ok.. alex had this fucking TOWEL on stage to keep wiping his sweaty ass face with and every time he would lauren and i would just lose our shit and one time when he went to wipe his face it was the most aggressive use of a towel i’ve ever seen. my skin hurt just watching him attack his face like that

- also alex kept going to drink water on stage maybe every three min i guess the dc swamp humidity was rly getting to him

- towards the middle/end of the set they hadn’t done 505 yet so i was starting to believe they had come to their senses and were gonna close w it but they didn’t and i was mad when it started playing as like the 14th song or whatever

- OH AND AT THE ‘HANDS AROUND MY NECK’ LINE DURING 505 HE PUT HIS FUCKING HAND AROUND HIS NECK

- they did that cool transition between 505 and tbhc again!!!

- he did so much weird shit during pretty visitors i can’t even pick one or five things to mention cos it was just four full min of nonstop antics

- at the start of the second verse of i bet you look good on the dancefloor HE JUST CACKLED INTO THE MICROPHONE AND DIDN’T SING THE FIRST TWO LINES COS HE WAS TOO BUSY LAUGHING

- also during dancefloor poor sweet jamie his guitar was Fucked Up TM and eventually he just kinda sat down on the side and the song was weird without him

- alex randomly stood up from the piano during star treatment and walked around and his mic cord got caught on something (typical) and he softly went ‘shit’ at the end of a line jshdhsjd and then he just squatted at the front of the stage during the verse in the middle of the song. you know. as one does

- also during star treatment they had that ridiculous disco cube thing on stage but the light was rly pretty and there was a moment alex was in the exact right spot and he looked so beautiful. even without hair

- at the end of r u mine before they did the chorus again he would not put his arms down i swear to god they were just floating up in the air for maybe an entire two minutes. i worried his hands were losing circulation

- they (especially alex) took so much time to walk off stage and they all seemed so into it all night and were interacting a ton and i’m just. emotional

- i had to leave early after the show cos my sister arrived to pick me up (my dumbass asked her to come get me so i wouldnt have to spend $40 on an uber home lmao @ me playing myself) so i didn’t get to wait to try and meet them or wait and hang out more which was :( but i love arctic monkeys more than anything and this was truly the best weekend of my life and i’m so so so so so happy even tho i’m sad it’s over i’m so happy i got to have this and i will forever treasure the last 48 hours of my life

💖🖤💖🖤💖🖤💖🖤💖

[rivygucci-blog]

The Beatin’ Stick

By Gucci

Sophomore Year-2013/2014

I always hated parties. Too many people I don’t know talking about shit I don’t care about. Living with Rivy (my cousin) in the frat house our sophomore year exposed me to more parties than I ever thought imaginable. You see, the frat my cousin was in didn’t have a house on campus at the time, so to compensate; the off-campus house (my house) was used as tribute.

I tried my best to have my fair share of fun. My band would get to play sometimes; I’d get to bartend here and there; I won the beer pong equivalent of the Heisman Trophy, but this isn’t some story about how my character grew to love parties. I still hate them. So many random people would pack into our house every weekend that it was impossible to keep track of who was supposed to be there and who was an ‘unwelcomed guest’

This story, however, starts far before the party did, and begins with our friend, and my band mate, Dan. Dan was our freshman year roommate. He’s a bigger kid and keeps his head closely shaved. We would often call him baldy, bald bastard and other variations that point out his utter baldness, and if he wasn’t rolling a spliff he was probably smoking one. Dan was the king of scraping a dollar together, whether it was playing guitar outside of the dining halls or selling off his old N64 games. Hell, he’d even pluck his pubes and knit a sweater if he knew he could sell it.

Every day we’d come home from class and there he’d be, with a spliff rolled and ready to smoke. With Dan came the Dan-Van, the Dan-mobile, The Smoking Van, etc. It was a Grand Caravan that he had taken the back rows of seats out of. The spacious area was large enough for at least eight of us to hotbox the whole thing. I wouldn’t have been surprised if enough smoke filled the van to lift it off the ground.

It was a Friday morning. Dan had spent the night after band practice and figured he’d just go to class right from our house. He, however, never made it to class that day. His breaks shit the bed halfway to campus and was left rolling down a side street hoping to any higher power that was willing to listen that he wouldn’t crash into anything. Thankfully something did listen, and Dan was able to coast into the parking lot of a nearby mechanic. Lucky for him, they were able to fix the problem then and there. Naturally, Dan said, “Fuck class.” He came back to the crib and told us all what had just transpired.

That afternoon, He, Rivy and I crawled into the back of the van, rolled a few spliffs and began to plan that night’s events. That’s when I noticed something obscure in the van, something that certainly hadn’t been there before. It was a 4-foot long collapsible steel rod, the bottom third was painted florescent green, the middle was a deep black and the top portion maintained it’s steel color.

“Dan, What the fuck is this?” I asked.

Both he and Rivy looked at me in confusion. Neither of them had any clue. Turns out, ‘this’, was one of the mechanics tools he must have left in Dan’s van. What he used it for was anyone’s guess. Being freshly baked, the three of us decide to play with this foreign object. Baseball, golf, even javelin throwing, basically any sport we could think of we tried. At one point Rivy began to chase me with the stick, exclaiming, “I’m gonna stick this up your ass! You better run! “, “I’m fixing to make me a Gucci shish kebab!” and “I’m gonna getcha’ with the Beatin’ Stick.”

“The Beatin’ Stick.”

The name stuck.

Since I was the last one holding the stick when we called it day, I tossed it in my room and forgot about it.

The party began at its usual time. All of Rivy’s frat brothers came over along with a handful of my friends. Posh, my housemate and President of Rivy’s frat is a big kid and kind of looks like the Moon from The Bear in the Big Blue House (you remember that show right?). Also there was Harold P. Argyle. He was probably 35 at the time and was a former brother of the frat. If Nosferatu had darker skin and was Jewish, that would be the perfect visual for you to steep on when picturing Harold P. Argyle. These two people play a role later on in the story.

In particular attendance were my buddies Mike and Brian. Both hailing from the humble land that is Long Island, Mike is a tall Irish kid with red cheeks and a hot temper. He was a real charmer when it came to women. He probably got laid more times in a week than I have in my entire life, but hey, I’ll take a dry spell over having foreign fluids dribble out of the tip of my dick.

Brian was as gym rat as they come. I would say that his three favorite words were “Protein”, “Bud” and “Lite”. “Mah Dude” was his catch phrase of choice. How the three of us clicked is still a mystery, (I attribute it to beer and Super Smash Bros) but I can still call them some of my best friends to this day. Once all the close friends had gathered, the floodgates holding the sorority girls and random partygoers burst open. High heels clanked up the wooden stairs and the unmistaken aroma of beer, marijuana, and sin filled our raised ranch home.

If there is one thing that pisses me off the most about parties, it’s people who break the rules of beer pong; “elbows” being my biggest pet peeve. Dan and I were playing these two kids whom I didn’t recognize at all. To the left was an average size white kid. He wore baggy clothes and wasn’t the biggest talker. His partner was a very tall, lanky black kid who kinda looked like Snoop Dog if you replaced his corn rolls with a dirty dust mop. He too wore baggy clothes and was the main perpetrator of “elbows” (For those who don’t understand the concept of elbows, it’s quite simple. In beer pong, you must keep your elbows behind the table when you shoot. It is basic etiquette)

So, this being a friendly game, I kindly asked the kid, “Hey man, just watch your elbows.” He responded with nothing but a glare. They began to sink cups on Dan and I, each time leaning farther over the table to do so. He might as well have been slam-dunking the pong balls into our cups. What made the situation worse was the amount of trash talk we were receiving. Pong comes with its fair share of trash-talk and taunting, however, these kids were taking it to the next level. So they win, and the trash talk continues. Dan and I, not being ones to start fights, just ignore it and walk away.

About an hour later I walked downstairs to grab another beer out of my room when I see the two kids standing near my drum set. A third, Hispanic kid, had joined them; he seemed to be their leader. I’m naturally very protective of my belongings, so I walked over to the group and engaged them in what was hopefully a boring conversation so that they would walk back upstairs. I started talking about school and work and they weren’t really listening at all. My plan worked and they left.

The party was basically over as it was well past 1 am. Only the close friends were left along with those three kids and this random, out-of-nowhere girl, Adrian. Posh, the Fraternity President told them that they all had to leave and the party was over. This Adrian she-bitch began to stomp her feet and claimed she didn’t have a ride home. (That sucks for you…)

She demanded that one of us drive her and her friends (The three kids) back to campus. Her argument being that this was our party and that it is our responsibility to get her home safely (Yea, ok. You’d have better luck asking us to kidnap a bunch of midgets, superglue dildos to their heads, and force them to fight gladiator style).

It’s quiet for a moment. Everybody in the room erupted in laughter because that was easily the stupidest thing we had heard all year. Posh tells her that she doesn’t have to go home but she can’t stay here. She responds with more hysterical screaming and stupid remarks.

I head downstairs to process this ridiculous scene in my mind. I can still hear Adrian screaming upstairs. As for Rivy? He was in his room with his girlfriend (now ex) trying to get hard. Suddenly we hear a barrage of footsteps coming down the stairs.

“Let’s go, get out!” I hear Posh yell. “Fuck you man! We don’t have a ride home!” one of the three kids hollers back.

Rivy emerges from his room wondering what all the hollering is about.All of a sudden, the tall black kid appears at the top of the stair well. He looks down at the three of us. Brian motions up the stairs to try and force these kids out.

WHACK!

Brian is sucker punched and stumbles backwards down the stairs. The black kid then props his arms against the wall and begins to use his long legs to kick down the stairs and prevent the three of us from coming up.

“Mah dude! What the fuck!” Brain yells.

The battleground is laid out in the following manner. The three kids had their backs to the front door. Upstairs were Posh, Dan, Mike and Harold P. Argyle looking down on them. Downstairs were Brian, Rivy and Myself looking up. The three of us were held back by the long legged kicks from this tall, dark demon. It looked like something out of a video game, where a medium-difficulty leveled boss was blocking an area you had to get to.

Chaos ensues, everyone was screaming and swearing at each other.

“Fuck You!”

“GET THE FUCK OUT!”

Dan lunges towards the kids and winds up tangled with them. He takes a hard shot to the eye. Then it hits me. As if time itself had warped backwards to Dan, Rivy and I smoking in the van hours before. I run to my room and grab The Beatin’ Stick. I pointed it forward like a long spear and with every ounce of oxygen in my body, I yelled louder than I ever had before,

“GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE!”

I ran up the stairs grasping the Beating Stick like a long sword and started swinging. The three kids turned pale at the sight and motioned to the front door. I began beating them with this pole so bad, you could mistaken me for an angry , old-timer farmer who just caught his 3 sons trying to jerk each other off while their sister cheered them on. In fact, I delivered such a beating, that the tip of this solid pole bent.

As they retreated, they tried grabbing Dan and pulling him out of the door! We grabbed him by his shirt and began a tug of war. After a few moments, we pulled Dan back inside and shut and locked the door. The three kids began banging on the door and ripped the screen clean off.

I hustled back downstairs, waiting for these kids to run around the side of the house and come back in through the sliding glass door. Part of me wanted them to, I was ready for em’. Rivy came up next to me wielding his police baton. We weren’t fucking around anymore.

Tensions settled, and the kids disappeared. Everyone began swapping his perspective of the story. To this day, my friends and all involved can vividly recall the image of me charging up the stairs with the Beatin’ Stick. Ultimately, we decide to call the police and report the incident. We also ordered Domino’s to celebrate our triumph.

Thirty minutes went by, and Harold P. Argyle poked his head out the door in search of the Pizza guy.

“Hey guys! Those kids are still here!” he hollered back into the house.

We all leaped from our seats and hustled outside. Sure enough, the three kids along with Adrian were leaning up against a police car a few houses down. An officer approached us.

“You guys were the ones that made the call right? ” the officer asked.

We explained the situation to him, he told us we had done the right thing in calling the police, and that we were in no trouble what so ever. In fact, the three kids had called the police on themselves to try and get a ride back to campus because it was freezing out (retards). The cop asked Dan if he wanted to press charges. Dan, not really trying to ruin anyone’s life, declined to do so. The cop ensured that he would at least give them a good scare for us.

If you ever have parties, always be careful of who you let in... you never know who you could be dealing with.

To this day, I still have ‘The Beatin’ Stick”. My trunk recently broke and doesn’t stay open. I use the Beatin’ Stick to prop it up when I need access to it. I came to learn that was its purpose all along. However, to me, it will always be the Beatin’ Stick that saved the day, and by far my weapon of choice.

TL;DR: Had a party a few years ago, randoms came over and started trouble, I beat them with a collapsable metal pole, profit.