#like i should be trying harder or whatever but then i wakeup and just want to go back to sleep

[arinmoss]

I have such severe depression that it's really been skinning years off my life. That im never getting back. Lol.

[hawkinsschoolcounselor]

Unrelated St advice. Ik u are a teacher and you seem wise.

Do you have any advice on bullying? I’m not sure what to do anymore. I tell the teachers and they continue they don’t get punished really. Their still their to taunt me and send me messages.

Bullying remains such a challenge, and I'm sorry you're going through it. I feel like these days it's even harder, as cyberbullying can mean a victim can't even have a safe haven after school.

A big problem with stopping bullying is that a lot of bullies are smart enough to not get caught. There isn't a lot school administration can do without proof. I won't lie. Sometimes we adults at schools know we have nothing solid on a kid we know is bullying. It's frustrating as hell.

I do want to go over the definition of bullying before I go further, though. What you describe sounds like it could be bullying, but there are still a lot of misconceptions about it. In order to be considered as bullying, three things must be true:

The behavior is targeted. So it's not some a-hole just going after the first person they see when they're mad.

The behavior is repeated over time. It doesn't happen just once or every now and then.

There is a power imbalance that creates a clear bully and a clear victim. This is what separates a rivalry or feud from bullying. A bully will find a target who feels unable to do anything about it.

The first thing I'd recommend is that you do whatever you can to keep yourself safe. It sounds like it's not physical bullying, at least, so maybe you're in no danger of assault, but that doesn't make it ok. If nobody else is going to help you, then you need to help yourself. Talk to your school's counselor, if there is one. He or she would most likely have the most training in helping you. Teachers, especially at the moment, can be so overworked that a bullying report could fall through the cracks if you tell them.

Next, I'd suggest you work on trying to make it possible for the bullies to get caught. If they're sending you messages, is there a way to trace them back to the bullies? Try to casually stick relatively close to adults in the school. Travel as part of a group, if possible, as bullies generally want to isolate their targets. If they're getting caught and things still aren't being done, then there's a major problem at the school.

Finally, and this will sounds extremely cliché and unhelpful perhaps, is you should try to make it seem like the bullies aren't getting to you. All behavior serves a purpose, and bullying is often done to evoke a desired reaction in a victim (usually to try to enhance one's own social status or self-esteem). If a bully doesn't get the reaction they're looking for, it will begin to seem like a wasted effort. Just be prepared for them to possibly up the intensity in an attempt to get the reaction again.

In an ideal world, you'd be able to rally other people to stand up to the bullies, thus taking away their power. Perceived power is what makes bullying possible. I'm not so naïve as to think this is always a possibility like it is in the movies. It can also be a slippery slope to counter-bullying, which isn't really any better. If there are others who are fed up with the same bullies, though, it could still be helpful. One person accusing someone of bullying might not seem actionable by itself without proof, but a group of people doing it? That should be enough for admin to look into it. You might also find some new friends in the process, which itself can do a lot to counter the effects of bullying.

I do also want to mention that bullies can change, though it usually takes some sort of wakeup call. Like all behavior, bullying is learned. The bullies may be bullied themselves, possibly at home. They may be taught, either explicitly or implicitly, that bullying is the way to get ahead in life. Hell, depending on age and/or mental development, they may not have the appropriate social skills to express themselves properly. It's important for schools to not only assist the victim, but also the bully, otherwise the bully will either find a new victim or just be more careful to not be caught.

Be aware that no matter what you do, it might initially be met with increased bullying. They'll want to stop you from doing anything about it.

I'm sorry I don't have any magic answers for you. Unfortunately, bullying is a complicated problem, and it has been for a long, long time. A lot of people have accepted it as a "fact of life" or a "rite of passage," and this can make it very hard to effectively prevent or stop. The parents of bullies are also very often in denial that their kid is doing anything wrong. Sometimes because they're the bullies to their own bully of a kid.

I hope things get better for you. Feel free to drop me a line if you need someone to talk to.

[bibbawrites]

Papa and Maggie’s Weekend - Single Dad!Charlie x Owen

THIS IS PART 11 OF THE SINGLE DAD!CHARLIE SERIES, YOU CAN FIND THE OTHER PARTS HERE

Request: none

Word Count: 5924 words!!!

Summary: Part 11 of Single Dad!Charlie, Charlie goes camping for the weekend and leaves Margaux in the care of Owen 

Warnings: referenced drug use, swearing

A/N: i’ve had this sitting around for so long that i actually have almost two more full parts done so i figured i’d get this one out there before they stack up any more haha, i know most of you don’t care about this series much any more but it’s my comfort series so i’m gonna keep writing it for me (and ella, this is our series @happinessinthedarkesttimes​ lol)  anyways, enjoy almost 6000! words of owen and margaux being the cutest little buddies and owen just trying his best 

Tag List: @happinessinthedarkesttimes​ @herbrutals​ @youngbloodblog​ @courageous-she​ @littlemissaddict​ @gloomybrieyxb​ @itsyagorlemmalyn @jatpxmultifan​ @moneybagmgk​ @emeliii1​ @mybradforddream​ @lovesanimals​ (the strike through means it wont let me tag you)

SATURDAY

“Be good, okay?” Charlie crouched in front of Margaux. She nodded sleepily, the early morning wakeup something she wasn’t used to. 

“When will you come back?” She mumbled, rubbing her eyes with a fist. Charlie swallowed, willing himself not to cancel the whole trip. They needed to do this, he had to get used to spending time away from her eventually. 

“I’ll be back tomorrow night. So you and Papa will spend all day today and then all day tomorrow together and then Daddy will be back in time for bed time tomorrow.” Charlie explained, his voice soft. 

“Why can’t I go too?” Margaux pouted. 

“Because it’s a big person trip.” Charlie sighed slightly. He knew this wasn’t going to end well.

“I’m a big person. I’m four!” Margaux protested. 

“You need to be a little bit bigger to come. But I promise we can go camping next week, okay? Just you and me.” Charlie promised, knowing there was nothing Margaux loved more than going camping with her dad. 

“Pinky promise?” She questioned, holding out her hand, and Charlie wrapped his pinky around hers. 

“I pinky promise.” He agreed, before catching sight of the time on his watch. 

“Fuck.” He mumbled. “I gotta go now baby, I’ll see you tomorrow. I’m gonna miss you.” 

He pulled the four year old into a hug, biting his lip as she started crying. Maybe leaving when she was tired wasn’t a good idea after all...

“Don’t go.” She sniffled, and Charlie pulled back, kissing the top of her head gently. 

“I gotta.” He whispered. “I love you so much.” 

“Daddy, don’t go.” She cried, throwing herself back into his arms and Charlie felt his eyes prick with tears of his own. 

“I’ll be back before you know it.” He promised. “I love you.” 

“Love you Daddy, don’t go.” Owen stepped forward, reaching out and taking the crying four year old from Charlie’s arms. 

“Go.” He instructed, as Margaux screamed out, Charlie’s heart breaking with every cry of his name. He stood up, hesitating, and Owen gave him a small smile. 

“I’ve got her. Go have fun. We love you.” 

“I love you too.” Charlie replied, and with one last glance towards Margaux he turned and climbed into his car. 

And no one had to know if he cried all the way to the organised meeting spot. 

- 

Charlie’s car pulled away and Owen waved slightly, knowing that his boyfriend would be taking this separation just as hard as his daughter was. The blond boy sighed, carrying the still screaming four year old inside, humming softly as he walked in an attempt to soothe her, his mind drifting back to the first time Charlie had left him alone with Margaux on the first day he had met her.

- 

“Just watch her for a second, I need to pee.” Charlie said, standing up and placing the two year old down next to Owen, before walking away. Margaux watched him go, her face scrunching up as she began to cry. Owen’s eyes widened. What was he supposed to do now? He reached out, patting the top of Margaux’s head awkwardly. 

“Don’t cry.” He mumbled, in what he hoped was a comforting tone. Clearly it wasn’t, however, since Margaux’s cries got louder, causing people to start to stare. 

“Hey, Maggie. It’s okay. He’ll be back soon.” He tried, moving to pat her back. Still no use, and Owen began to panic. What were you meant to do with a crying kid? He bit his lip, still awkwardly patting her back. 

Out of the corner of his eye he spotted Charlie heading back over to the table, and Owen breathed a sigh of relief as the older boy scooped up his daughter, holding her close to him and mumbling something in French. Margaux relaxed into his arms 

“I didn’t know how to make her stop.” Owen admitted, as Charlie sat back down, Margaux still wrapped up in his arms. The Canadian boy laughed. 

“Don’t worry, you’ll learn.” He replied. Owen gave him a small smile. 

He sure hoped so, for everyone’s sake. 

 -

As usual Charlie was right. Owen did learn, and now here he was, officially on his own for the weekend with Margaux having a complete meltdown in his arms.

He bounced her slightly, humming the tune  to Stand Tall, hoping the familiar tune would calm the four year old. 

“Daddy!” Margaux wailed, her face red with anguish. 

“Papa’s here.” Owen reminded her, swaying back and forth with her head tucked into his shoulder. 

“I want Daddy.” She protested. Owen bit his lip. 

“Daddy will be back tomorrow but for now, think about how much fun we’re gonna have together! We can paint each other’s nails and get pizza for dinner and watch all of your favourite movies. Or we could go out if you wanted to go somewhere? We could go swimming?” 

“Don’t wanna.” Margaux cried. 

“Okay.” Owen sighed, moving over to the couch and sitting down on it, shifting Margaux so that she was in his lap. Surely she’d tire herself out eventually, especially since it was barely 7am... maybe the best thing would be to just let her cry. 

 So that’s what Owen did, let the four year old cry as much as she needed, as he held her tight and hummed whatever songs he could think of, his fingers tangled through her curls.

-

Margaux cried non stop for the first hour until she fell asleep in Owen’s arms, exhausted from her tears. Owen sighed. He knew there were things to do but he couldn’t bring himself to leave Margaux’s side. 

So he stayed on the couch for almost four hours, Margaux curled into his chest, while he played video games on mute waiting for her to wake up. 

Eventually she did stir, just before lunch time, which Owen decided was the perfect distraction. 

“Good morning princess.” He whispered. “Are you hungry?” 

Margaux yawned before nodding. 

“I found a really cool place for us to go have lunch and some friends we can invite along to come play with us. How does that sound?” Owen suggested and Margaux just nodded again, staring at the TV blankly. Clearly it was going to be a bit harder to get her to talk than he’d thought. 

“Should we get dressed? You can even pick your own clothes!” Margaux didn’t reply, so Owen just stood up, the four year old still held safely in his arms, and made his way down the hallway to her bedroom. 

He kicked open the door, and placed Margaux onto the ground, before opening her wardrobe. 

“What do you wanna wear?” 

Margaux stepped forward and Owen internally cheered at the slight progress. The tiny blonde scanned through her clothes, eventually grabbing at a pair of overalls, before turning back and looking at Owen expectantly. 

“You wanna wear those ones?” He asked, and she nodded, before grabbing onto a Julie and the Phantoms shirt that Madi’s dad had made her. Owen smiled slightly, taking the two items of clothing out and quickly helping Margaux get dressed. 

“Now, what’s next?” Owen mused, hoping to get a reaction from Margaux. She didn’t answer, staring down at the ground as Owen grabbed her hairbrush and settled down with her standing between his legs as he sat on the end of her bed.  

“How do you want your hair?” Owen asked, running the brush through her curls. Margaux thought for a moment. 

“Bun.” She mumbled, and Owen grinned. 

“There’s that beautiful voice of yours. I missed it.” He teased, and Margaux smiled slightly. 

“Okay, let’s get this bun going.” He pulled her hair back, tying it somewhat messily in a bun. “How’s that?” 

“Good.” Margaux replied. 

“Yay!” Owen cheered and Margaux giggled, the sound warming Owen’s heart. 

“Do you wanna go watch Paw Patrol while I get dressed? Or you can stay here and play?” Owen suggested, and Margaux shook her head, clinging to his leg. 

“With you.” She mumbled and Owen sighed but took her with him nonetheless. 

Two steps forward, one step back. 

-

Almost an hour later Owen climbed out of an Uber, before unclipping Margaux from the safety seat, removing the safety seat from the car, and thanking their driver. 

“You ready to make some friends?” He questioned, looking towards the large building that housed an indoor play centre where they would be meeting a few members of the cast. 

“No.” Margaux replied and Owen laughed. 

“Don’t worry, you’ll like them.” He said. 

They entered the indoor play centre and Margaux’s eyes widened in excitement, taking in the various areas of the room, before settling on a high ropes course in the middle of the room. Of course Charlie’s kid would choose the most adventurous thing in the room to be excited for. 

“Owen!” A voice called, and Owen turned to find Cheyenne heading towards them, with his twins holding onto their father’s hands.

“Hey guys.” Owen greeted. “It’s so good to see you.”

“You too. And little miss Margaux here, look at how much you’ve grown!” Cheyenne gasped playfully and Margaux grinned, Owen smiling at the switch in her behaviour. 

“Cause I’m four.” She boasted. Cheyenne smiled. 

“So are my little ones. This is Willow and Ethan.” He smiled, gesturing to each twin as he introduced them. “And this is Margaux.” 

“Hi!” Willow grinned and Margaux smiled slightly, leaning into Owen. 

“She hasn’t had very good experiences with kids her age.” Owen explained. “Plus we’ve had a bit of a rough morning.” 

“That’s okay. Why don’t we head back to the table we’re at. Kenny and Sacha are there and Tori and Jadah are coming soon. Kenny booked the whole place out for the day so there’s no rush and no other people.” Cheyenne said, and Owen nodded, following the older man through the entrance and over to a table where Kenny and Sacha were sitting. 

“Hey guys.” Owen smiled, once they arrived at the table. 

“Hey Owen. How are you?” Kenny questioned. 

“Not too bad. Hopefully will be better soon.” Owen replied with a small grin. 

“Daddy can we go play?” Ethan questioned, and Cheyenne nodded. 

“Why don’t you take Margaux with you.” He suggested and the twins both turned their attention to the blond, who turned to Owen, a worried look on her face. 

“You’ll be okay.” Owen promised her, moving to take her shoes off as she clung to him. “I’ll be right here the whole time.” 

“Okay.” She decided, and Owen placed her on the ground, watching as she hesitantly took a hand of each of the twins and allowed them to drag her towards the biggest playground. 

“How was this morning?” Kenny questioned as Owen flopped down into an empty chair. Owen sighed, watching Margaux climb the stairs of the playground, any hesitation already gone.  

“Not good. She was okay until Charlie said he had to go and then she had a complete meltdown. He was about 30 seconds away from cancelling his trip, you could see it in his face. So I grabbed her and made him leave, and then she cried for literally an hour until she fell asleep again.” He said, and Kenny smiled sympathetically. 

“How long is Charlie gone for?” Sacha asked. 

“He comes back tomorrow evening.” Owen bit his lip. “I’m worried about how she’ll go tonight when she realises he isn’t there to put her to bed.” 

“You’ve got this.” Kenny assured him. “We’ve all seen you do it before and you do this all the time with Charlie around.”

“I hope so.” Owen replied. “I’m kinda hoping she’ll exhaust herself here and just pass out tonight.” 

The group laughed. 

“That’s pretty likely.” Cheyenne agreed. “I’m hoping for the same thing.” 

The door chimed again, signifying another arrival, and both Kenny and Sacha stood up to go greet the newest guest. Cheyenne gave Owen a small smile. 

“If you don’t mind me asking, you said Margaux hadn’t had very good experiences with kids her age. What happened?” He questioned. 

“Charlie had something to do, I think it was some beach cleaning thing, so he enrolled her into a childcare program. She lasted a few hours before she got into disagreements with the other kids about her not having a mum, and the bitch teacher backed them up saying she had to have a mum. So next minute Charlie’s being called in to discuss Margaux’s “issues with authority figures”, and she never went back.” Owen explained, and Cheyenne frowned. 

“That’s horrible.” He said. “I’m glad she didn’t go back.” 

“Me too.” Owen agreed. Cheyenne gave him a reassuring smile.

“At least we know with my kids they won’t worry about her not having a mum.” He joked and Owen smiled, instinctively glancing towards the playground, where Margaux and the twins had decided to attempt to climb up the large slides the wrong way, the three of them giggling loudly as they slipped back down. 

“She reminds me so much of Charlie.” Cheyenne commented, following Owen’s gaze. “They have the same adventurous spirit and cheeky personality.” 

“She’s his clone.” Owen laughed. “Everything except the hair.” 

“Personally I think her hair makes her look like your daughter.” Cheyenne said, and Owen’s heart skipped a beat. 

“Really?” His tone was filled with disbelief. He’d never considered that before. 

“Definitely. If people didn’t know they’d assume she was yours biologically.” Cheyenne nodded. Owen smiled slightly. 

“That means a lot to me.” 

“Anytime.” Cheyenne smiled, as they were rejoined by Kenny and Sacha, who were now accompanied by Tori and Jadah. 

“Now,” Kenny started, as everyone sat down around the table. “Should we order some food?” 

- 

So maybe not all kids her age were horrible, Margaux decided as she sat at the top of one of the large towers in the playground. The twins seemed nice enough and her Papa promised her that he would be there, and she knew he wouldn’t let anyone be mean to her, ever. 

“Do you have a brother or a sister?” Willow questioned, plopping down next to her. Margaux shook her head. 

“No.” She said. “Just me and Daddy and sometimes Papa. But he lives in Oklahoma most times.” 

“You don’t have a mummy too?” Ethan asked, joining them. Margaux shook her head again. 

“Do you have a mummy?” She glanced between the twins, who also shook their heads. 

“We have Dad and Daddy.” Willow told her. Margaux grinned. There was no way they’d be mean to her about not having a mum if they didn’t have one either. 

“Do you like Paw Patrol?” She asked, and the twins nodded quickly. 

“Yeah! I like Skye.” Willow answered. 

“I like Marshall.” Ethan added. 

“I like Everest cause she likes snow and I like snow too.” Margaux explained. 

“Can we go on the slides again?” Ethan questioned, and the girls exchanged a look before nodding. 

“You go first.” Margaux instructed, and together the three made their way through the tunnels, back to the slides. 

Yeah, Margaux thought as she followed the twins, maybe all kids weren’t mean. 

- 

After several hours of running around, the three four year olds were clearly exhausted so the group decided to call it a day. 

“Do you need a lift?” Cheyenne asked. Owen nodded, glancing down at Margaux, who was hugged tightly between Willow and Ethan. He couldn’t wait to tell Charlie that she finally had some friends her own age. 

“That would be great, thanks.” Owen smiled, which Cheyenne quickly returned. 

With a few last goodbyes to the rest of the group and promises to meet up again soon, Owen, Cheyenne and the kids left, Cheyenne leading the way while Owen brought up the rear to make sure the kids didn’t wander. 

And before he knew it Cheyenne was pulling up in front of Charlie’s place and Owen was unclipping Margaux’s seat as she clung to the twins, begging to see them again soon. It was only after Cheyenne and Owen promised they’d organise something that she let Owen lift her out of the car and the two of them stood and waved goodbye to the car as they drove away. 

“Come on Maggie, lets go inside and decide what we want for dinner.” Owen said and Margaux’s eyes lit up. 

“Pizza?” She asked. Owen chuckled. 

“Sounds good to me.” He agreed, unlocking the door and letting her in, placing the car seat near the door in case they needed it again. 

“Can we watch movies?” Margaux questioned, squirming in Owen’s arms until he placed her down on the ground. 

“We sure can.” He smiled. “Whatever movies you want.” 

“Nemo?” Margaux suggested as Owen flicked the TV on, going to Disney Plus and finding the movie in response to her request. 

And once the movie was playing Owen settled down onto the couch with her, and was determined he wouldn’t move unless he absolutely had to. 

- 

Eventually it was time for the moment Owen had been dreading. Bedtime. 

“Okay princess, it’s time to go to sleep.” He said, as the credits rolled on Frozen 2. 

“Daddy said he would come back for bedtime.” Margaux frowned.

“Bedtime tomorrow, remember?” Owen reminded her softly. 

“Oh.” She pouted, tears threatening to fall. Owen’s eyes widened, trying to think fast. 

“I know!” He exclaimed, and Margaux looked at him curiously. “We should have a sleepover. We can get your toys and sleep in Daddy’s bed and maybe even watch TV until we fall asleep.” 

Margaux grinned widely. 

“Yeah!” She squealed. “I wanna do it!” 

“Okay, well we’ll have to go get your friends from your room.” He said and Margaux grabbed onto his hand. 

“Hurry.” She giggled, tugging him down the hall to her bedroom. He flicked the light on as they entered, and Margaux jumped onto her bed, eyeing the large pile of Squishmallows stacked at the end of the bed. Madi had bought her one and ever since then she had been addicted to the stuffed toys. 

“Okay, who are we bringing?” Owen questioned, sitting down on the edge of the bed, already grabbing the toy penguin that Margaux never slept without. The four year old frowned at the pile before reaching towards an orange octopus, depositing it in Owen’s lap. She scanned the pile again, grabbing a small brown and white cow, a grey dragon, a green dinosaur and a large purple and blue cat that was almost as big as she is. 

“That’s all.” She decided. Owen nodded, grabbing the toys in his arms. 

“Anything else we need?” He asked, and Margaux grabbed her blanket. 

“Done.” She decided. Owen grinned, standing up. 

“Lead the way Miss Maggie.” He instructed, and Margaux giggled, rushing out of the room and across the hallway into Charlie’s room, leaving Owen to follow her after struggling with the light switch. Eventually he got it off and entered Charlie’s room, dropping the toys onto the bed for Margaux to sort out. 

“Do you want to watch one of those house hunting shows?” Owen asked, flicking the TV on. Margaux hummed in response, too busy figuring out the placement of her Squishmallows to pay full attention to him. 

“What’s it ‘bout?” Margaux mumbled, settling into the middle of the bed. Owen pulled off his shirt before climbing in next to her, smiling when the four year old latched herself onto him in the same way she did to her father.

“It’s about people who are looking for a new house.” Owen explained.

Margaux thought for a moment before nodding.

“Okay we can watch it Papa.” She agreed, so Owen changed the channel to the lifestyle channel. 

Hopefully the show would put the four year old to sleep.

-

It did not put her to sleep.

It was well past midnight and somehow Margaux was still awake, happily watching a couple decide between an apartment close to their ideal location, or a large house a little further out.

Owen yawned, glancing towards the time.

“Maggie, aren’t you tired darling?” He questioned, and Margaux shook her head.

“I’m awake! My Squishmallows wanna know if they buy the little house.” She informed him. “I want the big, big one.”

If Owen wasn’t half asleep he would have laughed at how invested Margaux was, but he was struggling to keep his eyes open and her not being asleep was not something he found funny in that moment. 

“After this we’re gonna turn it off and go to sleep, okay?” He told her, and Margaux frowned, shaking her head. 

“I wanna watch more.” She replied, and Owen groaned. 

“We gotta go to sleep, otherwise we won’t be able to wake up for Daddy coming home tomorrow.” He said, and Margaux pouted. 

“I wanna watch it more. You said I could watch it ‘til I sleeped, and I’m not sleeping yet.” She reminded him, and Owen cursed his past self for using those words, and cursed Charlie for raising such a smart kid. 

“But I’m falling asleep.” He whined. 

“You sleep then.” She answered, and Owen sighed. Time to put his “parent voice” on. 

“Margaux, we’re turning it off after this episode, and we’re going to sleep.” He said firmly and Margaux glared at him. 

“No.” She retorted and Owen tensed up. Now what was he meant to do? Margaux was rarely in trouble so he didn’t really have experience in how to discipline her if she acted out. 

“Margaux Ivy.” He warned. “Do you want to go back to your own bed?” 

Margaux shook her head. 

“Then after this episode finishes the TV goes off and we’re going to sleep. And if you go to sleep straight away maybe we can go get breakfast somewhere in the morning. How does that sound?” He tried, hoping the promise of a nice breakfast would make her back down. 

“Don’t wanna.” She mumbled. “Want Daddy. You’re a meanie.” 

Owen stared at her, his heart shattering at those three little words. 

“You don’t mean that, you’re just overtired.” He said, his voice sounding small, not quite sure who he was trying to convince. Margaux crossed her arms. 

“Yes I do. You’re a big meanie and a bossy pants and I don’t like you now.” She replied firmly.

“Maggie...” He trailed off, not knowing what to do. 

She ignored him, turning her attention back to the TV where the couple were about to sit down to decide between the three houses. 

Owen bit his lip, reaching for his phone to text Charlie, even though he knew the chances of Charlie replying were probably slim. He was probably out of cell range, or already asleep, or both. 

Messages between OPJ and Char

OPJ one day without you and she hates me

Charlie’s reply was almost instant. 

Char  she could never hate you O, i promise

Owen sighed, glancing at Margaux who had tucked herself into a ball with her chosen Squishmallows surrounding her, and was mumbling something under her breath in French. 

OPJ  she said, and i quote, that i’m a “big meanie and a bossy pants and she doesn’t like me now” so yeah, pretty sure she hates me

Char what happened?

OPJ she got sad at bedtime so i promised her we could watch tv until we fell asleep and now its 1 in the fucking morning and she’s still awake watching house hunters and i told her its time for it to be turned off, like the asshole i am, and she said no so i used my parent voice on her and now she hates me and she’s still fucking watching tv and i don’t know what to do

Owen had barely pressed send when his phone began to ring, Charlie’s photo appearing on his screen. 

“Hey.” He answered sadly. 

“Give the phone to Margaux.” Charlie’s voice came through the phone and Owen didn’t respond, holding the phone out to the four year old. 

“It’s for you.” He said, and she glared at him, but took the phone nonetheless, face lighting up when she heard her father’s voice. 

Owen flopped backwards onto the bed, relaxing instantly as Charlie’s scent engulfed his senses. He zoned out, just focusing on breathing, until he was jolted back to reality by Margaux poking his cheek. 

“Daddy wants to talk to you.” She informed him, and he took the phone, pressing it back to his ear. 

“Yeah?” 

“She’s gonna go to sleep now.” Charlie said, and Owen breathed out a sigh of relief. 

“Thank you.” He whispered. “I’m sorry I disrupted your night and bothered you when you’re trying to have time off.”

“You didn’t.” Charlie assured him. 

“I couldn’t even get her to go to sleep.” Owen mumbled, glancing at Margaux, who was already fast asleep, just proving how tired she had actually been. “I’m a failure.” 

“You are most definitely not.” Charlie replied firmly. “You’ve made it all the way til now with no issues, even after the complete meltdown she had this morning. Parenting isn’t always easy Owen, even I struggle with overtired Margaux.” 

Owen sighed, reaching for the TV remote and turning the TV off, engulfing the room in darkness. 

“Fuck, can you just promise me you believe me? I’m too high right now to figure out a better argument.” Charlie whined and Owen giggled, only just noticing how out of it Charlie actually sounded. 

“Kid free time is going well then?” He teased, thankful for the lighter topic. 

“I haven’t been this high since she was born, it’s nice to be able to smoke without worrying about her waking up or not being sober by the time she gets up the next morning.” Charlie replied, and for a moment Owen felt an overwhelming sadness for the 18 year old Charlie who had been forced to grow up so quickly, with no chance to be an actual kid himself. 

“I miss you.” Owen admitted. “It’s hard being here with her without you.” 

“You’re halfway there babe, just keep going.” Charlie reminded him and Owen blushed slightly at the pet name. 

“I will. Thank you again, for getting her to sleep.” Owen replied. Charlie hummed in response. 

“Any time. How was the rest of your day?” He questioned. 

“After you left she cried for a bit, and then slept until lunch time. And then we went to this indoor play centre thing with Cheyenne and his twins, and Kenny, Sacha, Jadah and Tori, and Mags loved the twins.” Owen recounted. 

“She did?” Charlie cut in, and Owen could hear the smile on his face. 

“She did.” Owen grinned. “She begged me to see them again soon, so you’ll have to organise something with Cheyenne. Then we just had pizza and watched some movies before we went to bed.”

“Sounds like you had a great day.” Charlie replied. Owen opened his mouth to respond, but instead yawned, eyes drifting shut for a second. 

“Go to sleep babe.” Charlie’s voice was gentle and Owen nodded, before realising his boyfriend couldn’t see him. 

“Okay.” He answered. “Night Char, I love you.” 

“I love you too Owen. See you tomorrow afternoon.” Charlie replied, before hanging up. Owen let his phone fall to the pillow, too tired to even plug it in to charge. 

And with Margaux’s steady breathing in his ear, he finally drifted off to sleep. 

- 

SUNDAY

Owen woke the next morning to Margaux attempting to braid his hair, Bluey playing quietly on Charlie’s iPad. 

“You awake Papa?” Margaux questioned. Owen hummed in response. 

“Yep.” He replied, voice deep with sleep. “You doing my hair?” 

“Yeah.” Margaux responded simply. After a moment she spoke up again. 

“Are you still mad with me?”

Owen sat up, reaching out to the tiny blonde. She wriggled closer, settling into his arms. 

“Oh darling no, I could never be mad at you.” He told her. Margaux thought for a moment before looking back up at him. 

“Do you still love me?” She asked, her voice small. Owen’s heart shattered. 

“Of course I still love you. You’re my little girl, I will always love you. Just like how your Daddy will always love you no matter what.” He assured her. 

“But I was mean to you.” Margaux frowned. “And Daddy said that’s naughty.”

“It is naughty, but I forgive you. Because I know you were just very tired.” He told her. She sighed, resting her head on his shoulder. 

“I’m sorry Papa.” She said quietly. Owen pressed a kiss to her head, playing with her curls like he knew Charlie did, hoping the familiar gesture would reassure her.  

“I know honey, it’s okay, I promise.” He whispered. 

“Love you.” Margaux mumbled, pressing her face into his neck. Owen smiled, wrapping his arms around her tightly and squeezing. 

“I love you too.” He replied. “Now how about we get dressed and go out for breakfast?” 

“Yeah!” Margaux grinned, perking up instantly at the mention of food. Owen laughed. 

“Okay then, let’s do it.” 

- 

Just over an hour later the two of them were curled into a tiny booth in the back corner of a café, the table chosen especially to try to remain unnoticed by any fans that may have been around. Owen loved the fans but sometimes they could be a little much, and having Margaux with him made him hyperaware of how necessary it was to remain anonymous. He had no idea how Charlie did this. 

Owen glanced around the room, picking at his eggs. There didn’t seem to be anyone around who might recognise them, but there was never a guarantee that they wouldn’t be noticed.  

“Can I have some of your one Papa?” Margaux questioned, catching Owen’s attention. 

Owen’s head snapped back, his attention now solely on the four year old in front of him. 

“Which one darling?” He asked. 

“That one.” She pointed to the cooked tomato that he had pushed off to the side of his plate. Owen nodded, placing it on her plate and shaking his head when she dipped it into the leftover maple syrup. Charlie really was raising his clone. 

“Are you full?” Margaux questioned after scoffing down the tomato, eyeing his eggs. Owen chuckled, scooping the eggs onto her plate too. 

“Hungry this morning huh?” He teased. Margaux grinned at him, her mouth full of his eggs. 

“Patrick says it’s cause I’m a growing girl.” She informed him. 

“I think Patrick is right. You were only tiny when I first met you and now you’re huge!” He emphasised the last word and Margaux laughed loudly. 

“You’re silly Papa.” She said between laughs. Owen grinned. 

“Excuse me?” A voice came and Owen’s heart stopped for a moment, looking up to find an elderly woman smiling at him. 

“Yes?” He answered politely. She didn’t look like the type to watch the show, but you could never be sure. 

“Sorry to interrupt, I just wanted to compliment you on how well behaved your daughter is.” She smiled and Owen couldn’t help the light blush that covered his cheeks. 

His daughter. 

“Thank you.” He replied and the woman nodded, smiling at Margaux, before wandering away. 

Owen took a deep breath, collecting himself, before tuning his attention back to Margaux. 

“You ready to go kiddo?” He questioned. Margaux nodded, so Owen stood up, taking her hand and leaving the cafe, thanking the waitresses as they left. 

“So what do you wanna do today?” Owen asked as they began the short walk back to Charlie’s place. Margaux pulled a face as she thought. 

“Can we watch some more House Hunters?” She questioned, making Owen laugh. 

“Of course we can.” He agreed. 

- 

It was just after 2pm when Margaux shifted in his arms, where she had settled down to watch House Hunters hours ago. 

“Papa? I’m hungry.” She mumbled. Owen played with one of her pigtails. 

“What would you like to eat?” He asked. 

“I don’t know.” She shrugged, as Owen’s phone vibrated in his pocket. 

“Why don’t you have a little think then.” Owen suggested, pulling out his phone and smiling when he saw Charlie’s name on his screen. He answered quickly. 

“Hey!” He greeted. 

“Hey babe. I’m just leaving now, will be home in maybe an hour?” Charlie’s voice came through the phone. 

“That’s great, we can’t wait to see you. We were just talking about getting some lunch, would you wanna pick something up on the way home?” Owen asked. Charlie laughed. 

“I can do that. Anything in particular?” He questioned. Owen turned his attention back to the blonde in his arms. 

“You decided on what you wanna eat yet Maggie?” He asked. She shook her head. 

“No.” She replied simply. Owen chuckled. 

“Want Daddy to pick something? He’s coming home now and he’s gonna get lunch for us on the way.” He suggested. Margaux lit up at the suggestion. Or maybe the idea that her Dad was on his way home. Probably both. 

“Yes please.” She grinned. 

“Hey Char? Your pick. Just not pizza cause we had that last night.” Owen informed the older boy. 

“Okay cool, I’ll see you guys in like, 30 minutes then.” Charlie answered, and Owen could hear his car starting in the background. 

“See you then.” Owen smiled. He really had missed Charlie, and he knew Margaux had missed her father just as much, if not more. 

“Love you.” Charlie’s voice came, breaking Owen out of his thoughts. 

“Love you too.” Owen replied, before hanging up and turning to Margaux. “Okay Maggie, what house are they picking?” 

The four year old paused, thinking. 

“The blue one.” She decided. 

“With the pool?” Owen checked, and she nodded. 

“Yeah that one.” She said. He looked up at the TV, just in time to see the house again. 

“Cause it’s got a pool?” He questioned. Margaux nodded, settling back into his arms again. 

“And it’s blue.” She giggled. “Blue house and blue pool. That’s the best one.” 

“You know what? I think you might be right.” Owen laughed, and the two of them turned their attention back to the TV to find out which house the couple chose. 

-

Just under half an hour later Charlie arrived home, unlocking the front door and entering the quiet house, his arms full of Chinese takeout. 

He could hear muffled giggles coming from his bedroom, so he dropped his bags and headed down the hallway, entering his room to find Owen and Margaux curled up in a pile of Squishmallows, the lifestyle channel playing loudly on the TV. 

“Daddy!” Margaux exclaimed, jumping up and throwing herself at him. He stumbled, but caught her, handing the food off to Owen so that he could properly hug his daughter. 

“Hey baby.” He greeted, squeezing her tightly as she clung to him like a baby koala. 

“I missed you.” She whined. “Don’t go away again.” 

“I’ll try not to.” He laughed. “Did you have fun with Papa?” 

She launched into a complete recount of her weekend as Charlie placed her back down onto the bed and plopped down next to Owen, snuggling close to the blond in greeting. 

“You survived.” Charlie grinned, placing a kiss to Owen’s shoulder. Owen chuckled. 

“Barely.” He replied, scooping fried rice onto one of the paper plates that the restaurant had provided. Charlie shook his head.

“But you survived. That’s all that matters.” He said, and Owen glanced at Margaux before nodding. 

“Yeah it is.” He agreed. 

And as Charlie settled back into Dad life, he couldn’t help but wish that this was how life could be every day. 

[djarrex]

Hi everyone, just wanted to address what happened last night along with some other things from before that all tie in together.

There’s multiple parts to the following post - please make sure you read all of it if you’re gonna take the time to even start.

It was midnight and y'all were still jumping in on anon and telling me how I'm awful for not commenting, owning up, or taking responsibility - I should have been in bed. I have a life and job outside this app; and with the several of you in my inbox and it being too late at night to address each, I’m gonna do it now. I can’t not say something about all of this. I just can’t keep quiet and ignore the problem - it’s not fair to you all. Deleting one post already has you guys even more riled up and all I wanted to do was offer something better than a “half-hearted apology” (it was very late at night when I wrote that very short apology, and wanted a redo tbh). 

I really didn't want to make a long post like this. I reached out to a select few on here because I care about them (there's more of you, but like I said, it was at the time after midnight and I was fucking exhausted). but I was being demanded for accountability. So here I am.

Allow me to be real with you all, if that's ok. If it's not, well, idk. First I wanna address all you anons, who, instead of speaking to me one on one about all this, want to criticize me and shame me and my writing when truthfully it feels like you haven't even read more than a handful of my work. I didn’t realize that I write the clones all the same way? That I always make them super aggressive and uncaring and dom? “you write every single clone as so dominant instead as unique individual men with their own personalities” Interesting. See, that right there tells me you haven't read nearly enough of my stuff for me to believe that's true. That's one accusation I absolutely will not back you on because I know it’s inaccurate - saying how I group the clones into some overly-aggressive, and uncaring category - that I always write all of them as mean in bed because they're men of color. And hey, if I do write rough smut - which yeah, it's out there and I write it, as do a lot of you - there are warnings at the beginning, aftercare, dialogue, reader sharing their feelings, and most importantly... consent between the two. That’s what warnings are for, so that you know what you’re going to be reading. That’s why I, as we all do, appreciate warnings listed at the tops of fics; honestly, write them sub or dom or switch or however you want but don’t come at me like that. I’m sorry if I'm coming across as rude because I'm usually not, I’m one of the nicest people you’ll meet, but I will not stand idly by while you chastise my writing (writing that is pretty much the same type of stuff a lot of you write & rb with the same characters) that you haven’t read enough of to back such claims.

Next: Sincerely, from the bottom of my heart,

I get it. Really, I do. I fully understand the problem of whitewashing in SW along with almost everywhere else, and I do not agree with it. It's a huge problem, and it needs to be rectified. Now just because I don't speak publicly about it and opt out of publicly shaming TBB, doesn't mean that I agree with what’s going on. Not everyone is comfortable with sharing their opinions on a subject, no matter what that subject is or which side they're on. You live and you learn when it comes to that. 

It has never been my intention to fetishize POC in my writing, which btw, the same people who are saying that it is my intention are the ones claiming I portray all of the clones as the same, aggressive men, lacking their individuality. It’s a claim that is simply not true, and I know I have followers on here to back me up on that. I know what I've written; how about you check it out and tell me that you don't see the words "soft" or "fluff" or "cuddling" or “gentle” or “tender” within my work linked in my ML. Clone character being a good partner and father? Tender love making? Holding each others faces in their hands? “We/you survived” sex? Taking care of their partner? Saying “I love you” to one another? Confirming the safe word and going slow at first? Oh my - riveting and harsh stuff - totally unacceptable.  

Now: My admittedly problematic writings of Rex + Zygerria,

I went into writing that rp fic totally unaware and unknowing of the true implications. For that, I sincerely apologize. When I posted the NSFW alphabet, that’s when I was called out on that rp fic - not when I first posted it. Which the timeline doesn’t matter, I know that, but it concerns me a little bit that no one spoke up about it sooner - letting me dig myself deeper into a hole that I didn’t realize I was inside of in the first place. I've apologized once, and I know that doesn't negate what happened; I acknowledged my mistake back then, but I suppose that wasn’t good enough. I had asked you, anon, to message me to give me guidance, to teach me on what to do about the fic - you stayed hidden. Well, respectfully, what the fuck? I know we're all adults but don't lecture me and avoid me when I’d literally reached out for guidance on how to properly rectify the issue. I fixed my wording in some of my fics (the things I’ve caught upon rereading them) because I recognized and more importantly learned about and from my mistakes along with the unintentional negative implications of how I wrote those characters. Some of y'all wanna tell me that I "haven't learned"? Who are you, my personal blog police? My professor? My life coach? Are you even my friend? If I'm wrong and haven't learned, then fucking educate me. I worked hard on that rp fic, just like I do with a majority of what I write, but it doesn’t matter because I will delete it knowing that it’s harmful to others and I apologize for inadvertently romanticizing slavery with what I wrote - it was unintentional, and I’m truly sorry to those who have been hurt by it. I know it’s wrong, and there’s no proper excuse for it. Can’t go back in time, but consider it gone now.

Since that first wakeup call, I’ve been working hard to ensure I avoid using certain words and ideas when describing the clones in my fics. If there’s still something you see that isn’t correct or is inappropriate, please tell me! Don’t hold it in but then jump on the “attack M” bandwagon. Private message me, or come peacefully off or on anon, there will be no hard feelings. I don’t mind being corrected when I make a mistake - that’s just part of life, we all make mistakes and we live and learn from them. Making mistakes doesn’t = scumbag human. When you hold your breath and choose not to take the time to guide me, and if I appear to still be making the same mistakes, well, idk. I’m telling you right now that I do not mind if you message me with the good intention of pushing me in the right direction. When you come at me with hostility on anon, well, no thank you. To the anons that came without rage: thank you! I read what you wrote, and I have a better understanding as to how my writing had hurt the lovely followers of mine, and tried to address as much as possible in this post. See, angry mob anons? It costs zero credits to be kind and offer up your thoughts and advice with a good heart. I’m not going to hate you or block you if you try to correct me. I don’t block unless you’re a snoopin’ minor. Just don’t hold a knife to my throat.

Now: Why did I delete the tags and then my response to that anon ask? 

Simply put: I felt awful. Deleting it doesn’t immediately mean I’m hiding from it and ignoring the issue. I wanted to come up with a better apology, explanation, whatever you wanna call it, because my followers deserve that. The ones who enjoy my work, the ones who interact, the ones who I call my friends, the ones who know that I’m a good person. Didn’t want to leave the tags/post floating around all night, giving more people time to sharpen their pitchforks and join the mob while I attempted to sleep. Trust me, I know saying that I had no ill intentions when tagging that post doesn’t make it better nor does it make it go away. I’m just trying to show you my point of view, that I knew immediately how I should not have tagged it that way, so that’s why I deleted them. I corrected my mistake. But y’all are too fucking quick I swear.

One more thing:

I know some of you who had called me out with the passive-aggressive inbox messages are still following me, and for what? You don’t like what I post, which is why one would follow another in the first place, so why bother sticking around? Do you feel like you need to police my blog? You want to be there the literal minute I make a mistake? I’m gonna turn off anon for a bit, so if you wanna discuss, message me. Just know that if you’re going to come at me with knives out, I probably won’t reply to you. 

To conclude:

I’m sorry. Truly sorry for the entire Rex + Zygerria outfit + slaver ordeal with both the fic from a while ago and then the tags from last night. We can’t go back in time; the only option is to correct past mistakes that are able to be corrected, and then move on with new knowledge that’ll aid in me working even harder to ensure my writing isn’t inappropriate or offensive, and doesn���t hurt my followers nor the characters I write for. I’m still going to write self-indulgent filth and fluff, post-order 66 Rex, and other misc shit. I enjoy writing fanfic, as I know a lot of you enjoy reading what I write and love to talk to me about it. I hope that this didn’t come off as me being a bitch, because I’m really not. I enjoy interacting with the handful of people on here that I’d call my friends, and I love reading your reactions and tags to my fics when you’re excited and/or horny (LOL). It’s just after lunch time where I’m at, so I hope you have a great rest of the day/night/morning whatever for wherever you are.  

<3 

M

[justsomefluff]

Good Morning with Ateez

Summary: the title pretty much explains it all lmao

A/N: Sorry that I haven’t been writing! School has been crazy with everything going on, and I have to work as well. Hopefully, I will be able to write more in the coming weeks.

*Members after Joong are below the cut*

Hongjoong: 

ok, waking up in the morning with joongie is wild

If he wakes up first, he’s all giggly

bugging you

kissy kissy all over your face

he’s practically on top of you 

it’s not that he wants to get up or anything, he just prefers when you are awake at the same time

“Let me sleep, Joongie”

“but iM LONELY”

If you’re really tired though he’s gonna be cute with you and let you sleep all you want

he will just lay with you and stroke your hair and kiss your hands and ugh im soft

BUT

if you wake up first

he expects the same

so, if you wake him up with anything other than smooches he’s gonna whine and complain so much

“GIMME KISS”

“no, you have morning breath”

“so what you're saying is you hate me”

SO dramatic

if you manage to slip out of bed before he can trap you

he will jump out of bed and latch onto you

LEECH

tries to steal your energy through his hugs

but overall a cute bb who likes a calm, sweet wakeup with his love

Seonghwa:

(THIS GIF I CANT BREATHE)

So, our precious baby Seonghwa

ALWAYS awake before you

like how does he do it???

why does he do it???

whenever he wakes up, he’ll kinda check on you a little bit

make sure you’re in a comfortable position, give you a kiss and all that

but then he’ll slip out before you wake up??

rude.

And then you wake up and you're kinda grumpy bc why would he leave you cold and alone when you could be cuddling rn

when you find him, he’s halfway through making you breakfast

and that makes up for it

he always tries to do things for you to make your mornings easier

It’s his way of making up for all the things he can’t do for you while he’s working

When he notices that you're awake omigod the biggest smile

Will deadass abandon his cooking to come give you a squeeze

your eyebrows are all furrowed and you’re pouting and you're hair is just the worst but he’s so in love with you, you big dork

Gives you a kiss and then makes you sit down

serves you breakfast, all proud

if it’s something he doesn't normally make, he will watch you take the first bite and cross his fingers that you like it

which you always do

Mornings with him will pretty much always be domestic and sweet

Yunho:

McSquishy

When he wakes up, his cheeks go poof

anyway you usually wake up before him on your days off

but he will wake up soon after you

it’s like he senses that you're awake and wants to join in on the party

so when he wakes up, he feels you stretching and wiggling around

Will make fun of you if you make any of those awkward stretching noises

“UGHHHHH AHHH”

like hush leave me alone

isn’t hard to wake up but he will 100% drag you out of bed as soon as he can

mostly because he wants food

if you don’t get up right away he’ll just make you

like the recent video where he just picks up San and moves him? Yeah exactly

will also do that weird shimmy dance he did in that video too just to show you how excited he is

like a golden retriever no lie

so excited to be with you all the time

“Baby, let’s go” “baby, let’s eat” *smoochies*

and you just kinda let him drag you all over the place because he’s cute

isn’t one for morning cuddles in bed, but will still make you sit on his lap during breakfast and stuff just to have you close

cute squish who just wants to be loved aw

Yeosang:

clingy baby right here

Will probably wake up before you

but he’s not totally there yet, you know?

like his eyes are open but he’s dead

kinda flounders for a second trying to find you in the bed

when he does, he’s sticking to you and not letting go

probably falls asleep again because he’s so comfy and warm

so, it’s up to you to wake up before both of you sleep through the day

he’s usually pretty happy when he wakes up

lots of sleepy smiles

nuzzling into you like crazy

even though he’s groggier than you, he will be the first to get up

probably to pee or something idk he just needs to move

eager to start the day

If you’re still in bed 5 minutes after he gets up he’s gonna judge you

“How dare you let me start our day together by MYSELF”

when you do get up, all is forgiven

the kind of person who likes to go out for breakfast rather than cook it at home

it’s not that he can’t, he just doesn’t want to lmao

always excited to dress up a little bit with you for breakfast dates

the perfect beginning to your day together imo

San:

SO WHINY

obviously you’re gonna have to be the one to wake him up

waking up is San’s least favorite part of the day

will trap you in bed for the entire day if you let him

“San, I know you’re tired but we slept ‘til noon”

“Let’s make it 2:00″

literally goes through the 7 stages of grief when he wakes up

Denial: “not morning yet, bye”

Guilt: “I’m so lazy”

Bargaining: “BABY, two more hours, it’ll be great”

Depression: “they started the day without me and I’m lonely”

Upward Turn: “maybe I feel a little more awake now”

Working Through: “ok I can do this, just one more stretch”

Acceptance: “Im up”

Like finally

definitely likes morning cuddles though so if you didn't give him at least that, then he’s gonna hate you for the day

loves starting his day with you and if you don't help him wake up the way he wants

Grumpy baby all day

just snuggle him dammit

Mingi:

ok so he’s not waking up I don't care

when Mingi sleeps, he’s comatose okay

until he has a genuine reason to get up, he is parked

likes to cuddle, but not gonna sacrifice sleep for it

so, if you get up and start your day, whatever he’ll stay

like he’ll ask you to stay and cuddle but he isn’t gonna have enough energy to argue with you over it lmao

you deadass need jumper cables to get him started

if he has to get up to pee or something minor, he will try to do it without you noticing so he can go back to sleep

“SONG MINGI, I SEE YOU”

“NO” and then he sprints back to bed

cue wrestling in bed because once he is fully awake he can’t sit still

like you’re trying to get him up and, while he’s awake now, he just wants to make your life a little harder

pulling you under the covers and everything while you're begging him to come eat with you

he will eventually give in because food

but with him, you kind of just have to let him wake up on his own

if you want to get him started that’s fine, but it prolly won’t help lmao

let him sleep, he’ll figure it out

Wooyoung:

Wooyoungie babyyyyy

When I wake up in the morning...it’s not as sexy as you think

contrary to popular belief, Woo does not wake up sexily

he wakes up friggin adorable

when you wake up first, he just makes you cuddle him until he’w ready to get up, no arguments

but if he wakes up first, he’s wiggling all over the place

another one who just cant sit still 

will stretch and bounce and just be a nuisance until you get up too

he will definitely smack you in the face when he’s stretching and then just laugh when you glare at him

when really he should fear for his life like you did not just wake me up by SMACKING ME

but will definitely be kissing you everywhere because he always says he wants to start his day by seeing you smile

cheeseball fr

also he’s loud

in case you didn't know

“JAGIYA WAKE UPPPPPP”

“SHHHHHHHHHH WOOYOUNGAH”

but his volume is contagious and then you're both yelling and its insane

but then you're both giggling and kissing and hugging and its a good morning because

no time spent with Wooyoung is wasted

Jongho:

(How could I not use this gif I mean really)

Jongho is so hard to wake up

like at least Mingi will wake up to shoo you away

but Jongho physically cannot

You could squeeze an air horn by his face and he wouldn't even flinch

basically he’s a heavy sleeper

But as you have more sleepovers, you’ll figure out a way to wake him up more effectively

whatever your method may be, he will be smiling as soon as he opens his eyes

always excited to see you

bc he’s a sweet baby

will make you hug him for a little bit and he’ll kiss your head

after a little bit he’ll sigh and be like “okay”

that’s when you know you can both get up

will follow you around and do pieces of his routine as you do yours

you're almost totally in sync its kinda creepy

but then he will offer to help you make breakfast and always lets you pick what you want to make

just soft for you in general and he’d give you the world

hell, he’s definitely strong enough

[currentfandomkick]

Marinette did not sign up for this part 6

this part was broken in two for my sanity.

first part here previous part here ao3 here

--

Bruce is many things, including Batman. He is currently trying to figure out how to launch a search party for his daughter’s missing magic jewelry and to find the thieves. (god, he hasn’t even met her yet and she has so many problems. She needs him there already and he isn’t). He is a father to many children who are currently searching for her, and who only just thought to inform him of this fact. On top of that, he is Batman—Justice League, cases, and keeping up his aliases on top of managing his possibly injured son.

What he is not expecting is a call from Hal when he is mid-way through a case while keeping Red Hood down. He is not expecting for Oracle to patch him through, nor is he expecting it to include Diana and Arthur—granted they all know each other’s identities at this point, but still. He would like to be uniform when his allies call him for work. Instead, he’s in civvies, in Jason’s room on his laptop keeping his son in place by sitting at the foot of his bed and shooting him looks on occasion. The only mercy was it being audio only.

“Batman we need to have a talk,” Hal stated.

Jason decided to make a break for it while Bruce was distracted. Bruce tackled his son and dragged him back to bed. “Little busy. Someone with Pegasus’ abilities dropped Hood into the harbor and he’s on bedrest.”

“I object to this treatment! I’m fine!”

“Not until Agent A clears you.”

“Fuck you B.”

“Hood.”

Jason stuck out his tongue and relented for the moment.

“So you’re aware he pulled a gun on a kid?”

Bruce choked at that.

Jason sat up. “First of all, dart gun with knock outs thank you very much, second of all, kid clearly stole Ladybug’s whatever that lets her transform, same with the girl using the cat that clearly has a lot of anxiety and definitely should not be in the field if she’s hyperventilating!”

Bruce could feel Diana being held back by someone. Possibly Hal’s ring, or Arthur.

“That was a teammate certified by the Ladybug and Chat Noir as allowed to use their miraculous given that Ladybug was needed on another mission at the time. Mr. Bug has appeared once before when Ladybug was unable to appear, and Chatte Noire is usually for solo stealth missions but was called to handle this particular akuma.” Arthur explained. “Your son attacked Ladybug’s team and has only made them all more unwilling to allow any contact after Sandboy.”

Bruce froze. His daughter needs help, and is denying the league the right to after Jason’s (well-intentioned) actions.

“Are they—”

“Ladybug has stated that the League may not approach her team during patrol, which was our main contact point. Miss Sting has become their representative for any and all contact, save one Amazonian historian,” Diana hissed. “She is convinced your whole family is trying to kill her now. You are to keep your house out of Paris until this is handled—if it wasn’t for the team being convinced that Red Hood was one of Sandboy’s creations, we would not be allowed to contact her at all!”

Bruce froze. His daughter is terrified of his family—of her family. She thinks they are out to kill her. He need to have a family meeting, now.

“I’ll check their locations and bring them back.”

“You better!”

“It is not wise to anger the Savior and Destroyer, so do so as quickly as possible,” Arthur stressed.

“Seriously Bats, get your house in order.”

“Hey, he’s not in charge of us anymore,” Jason tried to defend, only his voice wasn’t all there. “We’re our own people here. He just makes sure we don’t bleed out at this point.”

“Might want to work on that too.” Bruce wasn’t focusing enough to tell which of them said that.

Jason was shockingly quiet after that, typing absently on his phone.

Bruce needed to fix this. He turned on his kids trackers, only to find they were already in Paris, or… moving toward it. And comms were down.

“Oracle, report.”

“Sorry B, but I think they found her and we may have pinned down Hawkmoth.”

Bruce wanted to scream. He didn’t. “Report the identity to the League and leave Paris, now.”

“… Tim isn’t responding, Cass has plans with a family, and Steph is part of those, so you’re going to have to wait a day or so.”

Jason typed harder, but said nothing. Bruce could feel the self-recrimination and knew better than to intervene just yet. When he put down the phone (and when Bruce finished his own investigation on this matter) they would talk. For now, he had to wait.

             ---

Nino is a lot of things. Amazing director (albeit a tyrant as one), a top notch dj, and a superhero. He is also smart, charming, and very good at reading people and knowing when something is up. Perks of being Carapace and having Wayzz all the time—people’s weaknesses are a lot easier to spot now, and any fronts they try to put up, he already sees right through them. Especially when its someone he’s known forever.

Marinette has been on edge, around the same time as Ladybug started acting up. Granted, finding out she has a pen knife last year by her accidently using it to draw in class that one time did give him a wakeup call on Marinette having a paranoia streak on top of her anxiety, but usually the girl calmed down during school or when she was designing during breaks.

This time, that wasn’t happening. He’s… not sure how to get her to open up on this one. Looking over her shoulder and the constant twitching meant she was probably hit hard by Sandboy last night, and hadn’t recovered yet. He really wished he got a few hits in himself on the akuma—it always messed up everyone afterwards. And Marinette didn’t need the extra stress with her new designs for the Worst Father Ever’s company and tests that week.

And yet here they are, with her on edge. Most of the class was hit, and no one was at a hundred percent and all, he got that but…

“Sandboy?” Nino started, hoping it was casual enough that Marinette didn’t catch how frustrated he was with all of this. Ladybug was missing last night so Mr. Bug was there, Chatte was filling in for Chat and had an anxiety attack, the battle took way too long and it was so painfully clear that Chatte isn’t a hitter and that Mr. Bug is no strategist. Viperion stepped into that role with ease when he managed to get there, but still. The whole situation was messed up and he couldn’t fix it. Even when its hurting his friends.

Marinette let out a shaky breath. “Yeah.”

“Wanna talk about it or…”

“NO! I—I never wanted to, I…” Marinette was at a loss for words again, tugging at her hair.

“Its okay dudette.” He made sure to take her hands out of her hair before she knotted it like she did when they were kids. She hated getting them out after, always cried a bit from how much it hurt with how big her knots would get and how uncooperative they were. “That bad?”

Marinette nodded, curled in a bit. “I never want it to happen for real.”

Nino wasn’t sure what ‘it’ was, but it couldn’t be good. He know how bad some of Sandboy’s nightmares were—getting chased by his own fear of absolute failure being voiced by his idols still stung to this day.

“Hey, if it tries to, you got us—me, my bro, your bestie and let’s not forget Miss “I am the storm” will be there.”

“And Kagami!” Alya added with a grin as she came over with his bro. “She’s already claimed the right to destroy anyone that hurts you.”

Adrien’s grin may as well have split his face. “She has, hasn’t she.”

Marinette turned to fight with Adrien, as something was going on between those two, Adrien clearly had an idea what it was, but given the whole thing with Luka’s fans getting on her back about using him to get famous and the fall out…

Nino shook his head to banish that particular akuma—fans are the worst kind of akuma. Love akuma are really annoying in their abilities, but he can defend against all of their power-sets so far. Fan akumas are always wildcards and he’s usually not the most helpful against them.

He hopes he can keep Ladybug and Marinette safe. His job is to defend and shelter—in and out of the mask. That’s what he’s decided to do, at least.

“Aw, look at them. Now if only they were like this back when operations secret garden was a go.”

Nino raised an eyebrow.

“Nothing you need to worry about, before we got together.”

“Uh huh.” Nino could and would worry about it. Was that a ‘get them together’ operation or a ‘teach Adrien and Marinette how to be people and no run from the sight of each other’ operation?  First year ops outside of the mask were weird and he wasn’t in on them until a few months after he and Alya finally got together (at his best bro and favorite dudette’s brand of meddling).

--

Adrien is glad for many things since getting the ring. One of them is his partner and after finding out who she was (post-‘oh my god she hates me as a civilian’ episode), her brand of scheming. Which included (after he got her to conceded that his father may be bad but he is not Hawkmoth level bad) her managing to end up as his Father’s current ‘mentee’ of choice after she won the hat competition, and he showed off the scarf she made him last year. Gabriel had a rule of not working with designers that hadn’t made a name for themselves already—Marinette had by the time she was fourteen as MDC—Jagged Stone and Clara Nightengale’s joint-custody personal designers.

Father only found out MDC was Marinette from the scarf. He’d met Clara again at an event and she had the same style of embroidery and threading. Only it was after Adrien got his scarf.

Marinette plotted this--down to the fashion week event and Clara going to talk to Gabriel about his opinion on the work done to her scarf and how long he thought it would take MDC to make the same thing on a dress, roughly, since the designer does the embroidery by hand instead of letting Clara’s seamstress handle it given the intricate lace-like pattern.

Gabriel had called Marinette on the landline—the landline—that night and offered to mentor her on how to broaden her work for the masses, without taking away from her school and downtime, or interfering with MDC’s work.

So far, Marinette has gathered them a pool of seventy two people, name and contact information, that Markov, Max and Alya are co-investigating as Hawkmoth.

The trade off to all of that is “Marinette” brand consultation under the Gabriel brand, a studio with walk-in and appointed consultations, and being there on time.

Adrien managed to get them there a half hour early, and she still wasn’t relaxed. The unofficial appointment is in twenty minutes, and Marinette is shaken from Sandboy, but doesn’t want to talk about anything Miraculous, and he hasn’t had time for videogames lately, so. Distraction time.

“How did you get into fashion again?” Adrien toyed with his phone, knowing damn well how she ended up this far into fashion, but he did love watching her get worked up and go off.

“First of all, this industry doesn’t make anything for you if you’re short that  isn’t petite, and that’s a nightmare to look for as a kid. Then there was Maman having trouble finding things that fit her nicely and from there looking for women’s or girls clothes is just disappointment after disappointment.”

“How so?” Adrien hid his grin behind his phone.

“How—how so! Your father keeps wanting me to keep pockets out of designs because real pockets aren’t ‘in’ for women’s fashion. Lies! They are always in, women always want pockets and real pockets! Pockets are wonderful and the deeper the better.”

“Mh hm.” Adrien knew that from previous rant sessions.

“Then there’s the whole lack of body types and fits and don’t get me started on every white shirt being seem through, or a button up that doesn’t button right, or both. There is a reason why I make clothes for Mylene and her mom since I started doing commissions in the first place, and that is only one of them!”

Adrien leaned forward then. “So anything else?”

“Fix the sizing system already—using measurements that we already use when getting clothes online for conversion charts, only no ‘small, medium, large’ just the amount of fabric at each measurement and a rough of how it fits on different sizes where from there!”

Adrien checked the time. Ten minutes to, and this guy sounded like the early type.

“Alright, better now?”

Marinette blinked a few times, rage vanishing as she processed what happened. “… yes.”

“Good, feel ready to work out a rough?”

Marinette smirked. “They won’t know what hit them!”

--

Tim walked in and decided this candidate was high on his personal choice of who he’s like to be baby bat. The girl had cookies at the ready with coffee (real coffee, making her much better than Marie Ann) and didn’t bat an eyelash at the Wayne name. So either cool under pressure, or doesn’t care for celebrity status, either way a bonus in his books.

Then came how she just… had that same look Bruce gets when working out one of Riddler’s puzzles, only while she was working out a suit for him. She was just in charge of the design portion—Gabriel assured him he’d check over the whole thing and handle production and all. But this suit she worked out in minutes—even grumbling about making sure his pockets were at easy access level for him to grab his phone in case of emergencies and checking over his phone to shape the pocket and cut with that in mind—he likes it.

Given her features, she wouldn’t be out of place in the family—blue eyes and black hair for the win once again. And she clearly understood professionalism, even if she was being monitored by Gabriel’s son who seemed content to let her operate without asking any questions beyond asking him if he had any fabrics he didn’t want or any skin sensitivities.

Her measurement taking was faster than he was used to with tailors, and she admitted it was a double check and checking the fits he already uses to further incorporate it into the design.

No matter how this pans out, he’s decided he’s keeping her on as a designer at the very least. And that Janet’s DNA test comes back negative. This Marinette is his new favorite pick, and she wouldn’t stick out like a sore thumb. Plus, she already wears her hair like Ladybug and turned that into a casual nickname, so extra bonus on secret identity keeping cred if she is.

Now he just needs to find out if she really is and then drop the bomb on her while working out if she’s undercover working Gabriel/Hawkmoth, or not. If she is, damn. If not, he’s giving her ‘spot the bad guy’ lessons, price—one cup of coffee.

--

next part is in the works, its just a lot lore-wise and detective-wise with bats talking to Baby Bat with No Idea its Baby Bat until whoops, too late. Oops

anyone knows how to add the readmore, feel free to comment or message me

@heldtogetherbysafetypins @laurcad123 @raisuke06 @chaosace @jeminiikrystal @toodaloo-kangaroo @kris-pines04

[han100894]

Spoilers for The Girl Genius Novel 4 –Mostly about Zeetha and Higgs

Okay I’m just going to start and say that so far I, in my obsession, mostly skimmed the book to find the parts with Higgs and Zeetha. So full disclosure there, I haven’t actually finished it yet. I got impatient with waiting for my physical copy and bought the ebook. I’ll read it properly with my physical copy arrives.

So I just have to say I’m really annoyed that the doubled down on the “Zeetha was being irresponsible and overconfident” bit—they even straight up admit that what happened was because of the plant and she was drugged, but still act like it was all her irresponsibility. That’s not how this works. When someone is drugged out of her mind—and to make it clear, yes so was everyone else, but they were aware they were drugged, Zeetha was clueless and so couldn’t fight it nearly as well—you can’t call them irresponsible and overconfident.

Not to mention, she didn’t even really do anything overconfident? She just briefly talks to Tarvek—that’s it. Also Higgs is the first one hit—he gets shoved back before Zeetha gets stabbed. He then also, while fighting very seriously—gets stabbed just like her? What exactly does he think would have gone differently had Zeetha not briefly talked to Tarvek?

And I get and understand that since this was his first wakeup call that he liked her (though I don’t think he actually realized truly realized until he’s on the clank—the way he words it makes it sound like he’s just figuring it out himself that he likes her, and wants her, and wants her to like him to) and so he’s not thinking straight and being overprotective—but I really wish the narrative would maybe point that out? Instead of acting like it’s a fact.

Like even if it’s just Mamma pointing out the he also got stabbed, after the fact, exactly like Zeetha did? Or Agatha tell Zeetha after her apology that no—you were unknowingly drugged—that’s not overconfidence, that’s not how that works?

Plus, honestly I feel that despite the fact he was trying to resolve her guilt when she first woke up, that Higgs focus on her “overconfidence” likely only worsened her guilt. She seems to take his opinion as fact as well…

Actually I think that a good chunk her trying to show off to Higgs is that she’s desperately trying to prove herself good enough after what happened. Both because she likes him and quite possible think all he sees in her is an idiot at this point, but also for her own sake… granted that second part is going into headcanon territory here.

(I have an headcanon/ fanon that Zeetha has a problem with “not being good enough” that comes from being a twin is Skifander, where her achievements were never good enough for a lot of people who saw her as a twin and nothing else, no matter how good they were or even if they were equivalent to those her age around her that got praised—so if that headcanon is true then well… Higgs words may have been a bit of a blow… Also in my fanon it’s her grandmother who is the worst of it too… so double blow?)

I should probably get over it, but it annoys me. I swear there was never anything major that indicated Zeetha had a problem with overconfidence until this subplot, so it still feels like it’s forced, and as the double down it feels even more so? Zeetha already gets to play worf whenever she’s fighting, it would be nice if she could at least not get called overconfident to. Especially in a world of Sparks—who are beyond overconfident and reckless—get to get away with it constantly?

(Yes, with the Horsie Beastie she gets a sprained ankle, but that’s the risk of fighting short ranged—and she was the only one of the group to work with someone else (Yeti) with a plan instead of just stumbling over everyone else. With Passholdt she’s very aware this is serious and they could die, and as she fought Lu in Agatha despite her boastings she was careful, both to test what Lu could do but also to not hurt Agatha to much (A wrong punch can kill someone after all).

Though I do like that it’s implied Zeetha did get Mamma’s blessing to join the fighting. And that other than her injury throbbing (as to be expected) she’s not shown once to actually be struggling with it. It’s not slowing her down, weakening her, or limiting her movements at all. She shows no sign of having trouble breathing, even after fighting or running, despite the fact her lungs had to have been punctured.

Though her injury… or rather her treatment… While it’s not confirmed here it is heavily implied she got the draught which, I mean yeah in canon it’s canon but still. I’m still not thrilled with the idea. Zeetha had been worfed so often that it just feels cheap—and kinda sad—that going forward she’ll likely win not through her own power (or even choice, she didn’t get to make the decision to take the draught after all) but through a mcguffin.

I would have also liked to see her power up come from either herself (Whether her keeping up as a badass normal, or some kind of war spark (I still hold onto the theory she had like, half the spark gene, and she had a psudo breakthrough when killing Bang’s fleet that maybe she’ll one day be able to control) or from something related to Skifander (since it is her character’s plot, and a huge part of her life.) Instead she once again kind feels like she getting overshadowed, whether by her connection it Agatha or her connection with Higgs. I like Ziggs, and it’s potential, a lot but I don’t want Zeetha downgraded to being basically Higgs girlfriends, which a lot of what has happened so far has felt like…

Well I’m just not thrilled.

I am hoping that her odd reaction (Two and half years in she’s neither mutated, or shown any enhanced ability in toughness or strength) to it is eventually going to mean that no—she didn’t react to the Jägerdraught in any normal way and isn’t becoming a Jäger. That her Skifandrian heritage (Which likely has something similar to the Dyne considering the connection of the Queens, and needing that power to become one…) basically neutralized it beyond taking the dyne water in its energy to heal her… or something. So she can get a proper power up through something else.

(I mean, I like the idea that Higgs won’t lose her to old age, but also kinda wish that a different method would be used to stop that… God Queen anyone XD. Though if all it did was make her un-ageing and that her power up comes from something else, I’m okay with that to.)

(…I still love the idea of God Queen Zeetha though… I mean, she almost more than Agatha has connections to that plot line thanks to Skifander.)

Also it’s confirmed she did die, briefly, which like… um, if she was that bad off maybe Higgs should have walked a little faster through the Castle, or let Agatha actually set her up on life support or something. They had set on Von Pinn rather quickly after all I mean… but whatever. They wanted her to die, for some reason. Probably to try and drive the overconfident point home… or something. (Or maybe to go God Queen you have to die, take the dyne water (or equivalent, it’s the energy that matters I think) and then get electrocuted… while the electrocution takes several years after the others that has all happened to Zeetha like it did Agatha…just saying…)

Also I’d like to say that Higgs stealing her swords was still a shitty thing to do. An understandably shitty thing to do, but a shitty thing to do regardless. While he may not know that, they are very important to her (they are the only thing she keeps in good condition before she meets Agatha, even her arm bands are grimy) and most importantly she’s an adult. Maybe take them away, still shitty but sure, but actually hiding them is infantilizing at best. Again him acting unreasonable because of sudden case of feeling, but I wish something had been made of it.

Also I want to make it clear, I’m not upset with Higgs actions. It’s great fodder for misunderstandings, a bit of angst, and grounds for them to have a good long talk that will end with their relationship growing stronger as well as character development. I’m just a bit annoyed with how the narrative as a whole is viewing them as well as… honestly… I no longer have much faith of the Fogilos when it comes to character three dimensionsness and development. So I’m… leery…

But enough of that, another thing to wonder

Who the heck is Omeetza that Zeetha briefly thinks is Higgs? IS this going to be a Time travel thing? Are the group going to end up in the past and become legends in Skifander? That would be hilarious. Makes me wonder what the “drive and burning singlemindedness” is about if it is/ will be him. 10 digibucks it has something to do with helping Zeetha. (Hopefully without overshadowing her though, please let the Skifander plot revolve around mostly her side of things, she’s been overshadowed so much.)

The other two options is that Higgs is just vaguely resembles a legendary figure, or that he’s been to Skifander in the past. The first one is boring, and also unlikely because why bring it up without fully explaining the legend then, and the last one I hope not, though, he does have an odd reaction when looking at the swords… so maybe he’s seen them before?

To be fair I understand him keeping that secret much more than him not telling Zeetha about the draught, he couldn’t answer that one as easily without letting his secrets go—plus knowing Zeetha he has no idea just how bad not knowing where Skifander is hurt even three years later. Though you would think that would have come up now that he’s confessed. And also I have a harder time think Zeetha would just let the fact he knew that go as easily. She might understand but I can’t help but feel it should hurt.

Alright back to a little salt though, I swear if it comes out that Zeetha wasn’t at least aware Higgs was a high ranking Jäger, if not a general or spymaster (though even those would be nice) then I’m gunna riot. The novels are even more clear how suspicions she is of him, and if Gil and Tarvek can figure it out—so can she. The Spark doesn’t help with noticing things like this (In fact I’d say generally it makes it harder) and Zeetha has just as much royal training as both of them. It would make no sense if she didn’t figure it out but let the secret lie until he told her. The only reason would be to make Gil and Tarvek more special in the main characterness, I swear…

[artaphant]

61 How does your character imagine the way they will die? 91 What is your character’s guiltiest pleasure? 94 What is your character’s biggest flaw? 100 What, currently, is your character the most curious about? BAM

How does your character imagine the way they will die?

Rhovan is never gonna die, he doesn't think about that kind of thing. The many times he has come close to death have taught him NOTHING.

Mulgwain is hoping to die in a blaze of glory in battle, but also thinks she will more likely die of old age when she's done with her adventures and back in the thrall of the Summer court. She has big ideas of fighting the when she's stronger, but Helios controls a lot of her strength and she doesn't think her friends will help that fight.

Grimse will die in the most romantic way he can possibly think- bleeding out in his lover's arms after defeating whoever was threatening them. Or just growing old with his love.

Sorinn hopes she live long enough to see the end of the war but every fight that gets picked makes her think it's going to be how she dies.

-What is your character’s guiltiest pleasure?

Rhovan gets a big thrill in stealing trinkets but doesn't really like that his sister knows about the stealing so he plays it more as... "I stole to protect us and keep us alive".

Mulgwain likes swinging her axe around- even though it doesn't seem to hurt bad guys that much. She would really like to just go batshit, but that is not in the cards as often.

Grimse doesn't really understand shame well, so he is just into pleasures. He is the kind of guy who would tell you straight up he LOVES Love Actually or some other romcom, and he found a great smut you really should read and if you wanna try page 143 I am always ready to help winkwonk.

Sorinn would really like to just... not be fighting. Her guilty pleasure is a quiet day of nothing but reading, meals around the fire chatting with the group.

-What is your character’s biggest flaw?

Rhovan is super impulsive. He can't study, not like he remembers much of anything, he can't sit still, and waiting is not a thing he will do.

Mulgwain is a pushover. She will go with whatever her friends want to do (Especially with the fire giant, they were super scared of them earlier she was not sure if enough has changed in a week to make this a smart fight. But she did it and would stand between her own death for them). She is willing to endure whatever will make the court happy, her friends happy.

Grimse is also a people pleaser. Thankfully the people he really cares about haven't made me choose between them... yet. He is very mutable in his morals based on who he is around. He'll stab a kid in the leg when he's with just Emma, but won't even cuss when he's with Sylvy. Whatever he thinks the person needs or wants is what he'll be.

Sorinn is stubborn as hell. She will not stop to dk what needs to be done for Bahamut. Even at the cost of her friends or her own life. She learns from her mistakes, will adjust before going into deadly situations but she is still an unstoppable force.

-What, currently, is your character the most curious about?

Rhovan wants to know where Eccel'mar is at. Did he survive the city-floating-thing? Is he on the ground at this moment? Can he actually do anything about his situation? He feels guilty that he hasn't gone searching for him harder but this whole time-magic-thing seems Very Important so learning more about takes priority.

There is a LOT that Mulgwain has questions about, but considering where the session ended on she is too busy in the what ifs that come up when someone dies. She barely knew the guy, all he did was hit on her and buy her a drink. This guy was just a wakeup call that romance and sex are a thing, and also she hadn't had much experience with death. So now she's wondering she can have her own sexuality, and what that would be like, who she even likes. She does know that Rain is a cocky bitch (and at this moment unsure if she considers him a friend anymore), Missy is... a mystery to her, and Auki is just weird. And then there is the giants and their item-finding-stick. Like, are they forgetful and lose things a lot?

God it's been a thousand years since I have done a session with Grimse and Sorinn and the timelines get funky with the different campaigns we have tossed them into.

In terms of BP- Grimse wants to know what the hell Emma is gonna do about that dragon and where Hope has gone to, if she is okay. Sorinn is focused on getting her guild together, finding jobs for those members and overall what is she going to do with her life now.

If we somehow returned to old campaigns- Grimse would wanna know just.. what the hell to do, idk I have forgotten much of it. Sorinn wants to know if the masters have more things planned, what she is going to do with those brats and what does Bahamut want next.

[holdyourbreathuntilyouseelight]

The Bodyguard - Chapter 8

Summary: Magnus is a dancing popstar sensation whose popularity continues to climb. Alec, an ex-Secret Service agent, is hired on as a professional bodyguard in charge of Mr. Bane’s personal security by insistence of Magnus’ manager. Despite their initial differences, Magnus finds himself falling for Alec the more time they spend getting to know each other and relies on him for more than physical security as his safety gets threatened. Loosely based on the 1992 film The Bodyguard.

Rating: M

Genre: AU, Everyone is Human AU, Celebrity!Magnus, Bodyguard!Alec, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Fluff, Friendship, Romance, Eventual Smut, Mutual Pining

Author: holdyourbreathuntilyouseelight

A/N: You guys are much more than I deserve - thank you so much for being so patient. I am trying my hardest to keep up on writing better going forward so I can deliver the rest of this story in a more timely fashion. Thanks for sticking with me!

Click here to read on AO3.

Previous chapters on tumblr: Prologue // Chapter 1 // Chapter 2 // Chapter 3 // Chapter 4 // Chapter 5 // Chapter 6 // Chapter 7

* * * * *

Magnus woke up feeling like something died in his mouth overnight, but at least he was warm. He nuzzled into the pillow further, no desire to open his eyes coming once the head pounding kicked in.

His pillow felt oddly firm – not that he didn't like a well supported neck, but he was used to fluffier pillows at the hotels Raphael usually booked.

Consciousness gradually caught up with him, and that's when he realized he wasn't laying his head on a pillow at all.

It was the movement of the material under his cheek that alerted him of the fact whatever he was laying on was clothed, not a pillow case. And, drunken night or not, he knew there was only one man he could be tangled up with in his hotel bed.

Magnus opened his eyes slowly, peeking up to see that Alec was thankfully still sleeping soundly. He was spread underneath Magnus, Magnus somehow becoming an octopus overnight if his body curled around Alec's was any indicator. He had a leg between his, one arm stretched across him and tucked near his ribcage, and of course his head nestled comfortably on his torso.

He gently took back his enthuasiastic limbs and pulled away. Magnus couldn't help but stop to admire the man laid out in bed sleeping peacefully. His body was well defined, a light dusting of chest hair peeking up through the lopsided t-shirt, and his dark eyelashes framed beautifully against his pale skin.

He was gorgeous. Breathtaking. Lying there like the angels had carved him from marble. At least he was comfier than stone.

"Uh, what are you… is this comfortable for you?"

"Very. This okay?"

"Uh, yeah, yes. All good."

Magnus nearly groaned at the memory. Drunk him was not very restrained. He thought back to the night before, how he ended up tangled around Alec, and he was stunned by the bluntness of his desire for the other man.

How had Alec not been freaked out?

Magnus had blamed a lot on Alec being his bodyguard and his work ethic being the reasoning behind why he was kind or protective. But he knew he wasn't crazy to think there was something growing between them. At the bar last night, there was no way Alec wasn't flirting with him, showing him how to play pool the way he did. And Magnus stroking down his body did nothing but darken his gaze with desire.

His musing about all the times he maybe wasn't misreading Alec's feelings only lasted so long as he felt a sudden lurch in his stomach, and then he was running to the ensuite with his hand over his mouth before he could lose the contents of his stomach all over the hotel rug.

He closed the door a little too hard behind him, dropping to his knees as he began retching in the toilet, the disgusting regurgitation spilling out of him before he even made contact with the floor.

It didn't last long and was all liquid – his own fault for not eating enough the night before – and he shakily sat back against the wall as he recovered his breath once it was over.

"Magnus? Magnus, are you all right?"

Damn it. He woke Alec. He was hoping he could miss hearing him puking his guts out like some sort of freshly-turned-legal young adult. It wasn't exactly a shining achievement.

"I'm fine." Magnus croaked back, his throat more raw than he'd anticipated, making him sound like a long-term smoker with tar-drenched lungs.

"What can I do?" Alec asked, softer now, the concern slipping into his voice.

Magnus couldn't help but feel his heart warm at the sound. He and Alec may have had their differences, and frankly they still bickered regularly, but he knew there was no denying that Alec genuinely cared for his well being. He had made that pretty clear over the last week.

"Nothing. I'm fine, Alexander, I promise. I'll be out in a minute."

"Okay."

Magnus heard him step away from the door and he took that as a win. He got to his feet and splashed some cool water on his face, trying not to groan at how the pounding in his head didn't seem to want to let up any time soon. He needed more sleep and hydration. Maybe some more cuddling wouldn't hurt either, seeing as Alec apparently wasn't opposed.

He brushed his teeth quickly, wanting to rid the vomit taste from his mouth, and headed back to the bedroom.

He was surprised to find Alec not there, but he was too tired and feeling too gross to go investigate where he disappeared to. For all he knew, he could be checking on his siblings in the other room. Izzy especially had matched him pretty closely drink for drink and he doubted she had the level of tolerance he did.

Magnus collapsed back on the bed, letting the duvet envelope him in a comforting cocoon of fluff, and he closed his eyes in the hope that the room would stop spinning so much.

He heard someone enter the room, and though he normally was more paranoid, he didn't have the energy to be anxious.

"Hey. Can you sit up for a minute?"

Alec had returned. If Magnus wasn't so hungover, he'd probably be grinning giddily at this point, now that he had some time to reflect on things. Could Alec really return his feelings?

He did as he was told, opening his eyes to see Alec holding out a cold bottle of ginger ale for him and some aspirin.

"I think you're going to need these." he explained.

Magnus nodded his thanks as he swallowed them down, the cool fizz easing his sore throat.

"Thank you, Alexander."

He watched as Alec headed into the bathroom and he closed his eyes again, ready for sleep to take him under to avoid feeling so wretched. He could celebrate his potential romantic victory later.

A loud noise made his eyes snap back open and he saw Alec flash a sheepish smile.

"Sorry. This thing isn't very cooperative."

Magnus stared as Alec carried over the obnoxious stand-up fan that was knocking against the floor every few steps. Alec turned the air on and pointed it at Magnus. He then moved to sit on the edge of the bed, running a cool cloth over his face and leaving it resting on his forehead.

The cool blowing air mixed with the damp cloth immediately helped ease some of his headache and discomfort, and Magnus found himself sighing in content as he laid flatter on the bed.

"That should help get you to sleep." Alec explained, the smile evident in his voice even if Magnus wasn't looking at him.

"You never cease to amaze me, Alec."

"Sleep." Alec murmured, running a comforting hand through his hair, and Magnus found his body obeying.

* * * * *

The next time Magnus woke up, he was feeling much more like a member of the living.

The damp cloth was off his forehead now, but the cool air blowing against his skin made it clear it hadn't been missing for long.

His headache was gone and his stomach was already beginning to grumble in protest at how empty it was. It seemed his puking earlier in the night was all it needed to clear it of the junk he had forced it to digest.

Magnus couldn't help but reach out to search for Alec, hoping to find him asleep next to him, but his space was empty and a little cooler than Magnus would like. It was clear he had left him to sleep a while ago.

He finally sat up and stretched, figuring he could use a shower before hunting down his bodyguard.

* * * * *

Alec had gotten up a couple hours prior to Magnus' second wakeup, knowing his siblings would be leaving soon. He knew Magnus would normally be the perfect host and want to make a fuss about them before they left, but he also knew his hangover was going to be rough enough, so he figured Magnus would forgive him for letting him sleep it off.

Izzy and Jace were fairing a bit better, Izzy the worst of the two, but that didn't stop her from being her usual meddling self.

"Hey, big brother. How'd you sleep?" she teased when he came back to the room after his morning workout.

Something must have shone in his eyes because her expression immediately melted from taunting to concern.

"Hey. You know I'm only teasing, right? You can tell me to screw off."

He shrugged, not meeting her eyes. She wasn't one to give up easily though.

"Alec. I know I push all of your buttons, especially about this stuff. But I'm not trying to be malicious. I'm sorry if I've pushed too hard." she said honestly, squeezing his arm. "I just want you to be with someone who you can be yourself with, who appreciates you and you have actual fun with. I haven't seen you this comfortable with another person outside of family before. You just seem like… you're actually happy. That's all I ever want for you."

"I'm not upset with you, Iz. I know you're only teasing. I just… it's not like you and Jace are wrong. I have fallen for him, against my better judgment. I know I'm falling too fast but I don't know how to stop it now. The more time I spend with him, the harder I fall. I just… I'm terrified. Of how this is all going to blow up in my face."

Izzy took his hands in hers. "Alec. Have a little faith, okay? I know you're not alone in your feelings. But even if things don't work out? You are amazing. Nothing can change that. You deserve big love and you will find it someday, I know it."

"Thanks, Izzy."

She pulled him into a tight hug. "I love you, big brother. I'm so glad we got to see you even for a day."

"Same here." he agreed.

Jace chose that moment to come out of the bathroom, running a towel through his hair. "Aw, did I miss the sappy family hug moment? What a shame!"

"Oh get over here, you idiot." Izzy laughed.

Jace fake-sighed before bounding over and tackling the two of them in a group hug, the trio laughing together.

Jace ruffled Alec's hair as they separated. "Thanks for having us, Alec. We better head out since security takes forever at LAX. But take care of yourself, all right? And we're just a phone call away."

Alec hugged him solo this time, patting him gratefully on the back. "Thanks, Jace. I'll see you guys again soon, okay?"

"The tour is only a little longer!" Izzy added, slipping her sunglasses back into place and tugging her suitcase behind her. "Now let's go get some greasy airport food!"

Alec waved the pair of them out of the door before locking it properly. He would definitely miss them, but he also wasn't entirely adverse to having Magnus to himself again. He liked being 'forced' to share a bed with Magnus, but at least when they shared a hotel room it was a time when it was just the two of them, no other members of the team imposing on their space.

He figured he should go check on him but Izzy's last comment made him pause. Jace had said Izzy had been up a few times puking – if she was hungry for food now, maybe Magnus would be too.

Alec changed his direction and headed to the hotel phone, picking up the room service menu as he began to dial.

* * * * *

Magnus, feeling much more refreshed, headed out into the main area of the suite to find Alec waving off the hotel employee dropping off breakfast.

There were multiple trays on the trolley and Magnus felt his stomach grumble in anticipation.

"Feeling hungry this morning? I suppose with a body like that, you need your fuel."

Alec ducked his head at the compliment, busying himself with pushing the trolley further into the room and over to where Magnus had settled into the couch.

"It's not all for me. I figured you'd probably be hungry when you woke up. I wanted to get a jump on ordering it since I know you have such specific needs."

"Excuse me, are you calling me a diva?"

"When it comes to how you like your food, yes."

As Magnus eyed the food laid out before him, he felt his curiosity peak. "And how do you know how I like my food?"

Alec rolled his eyes. "Magnus. I've been by your side for pretty much every meal you've eaten for this entire tour. Let me prove it."

"Fine. Dazzle me with your knowledge." Magnus said with a smirk, crossing his arms behind his head as he leaned back in his seat.

"All right. First up, eggs. If scrambled, you want cheese in them. Cheddar is preferred but you'll take Monterary Jack if you can get it. Smoked cheddar is ideal. However, you prefer poached eggs. Medium, because you like a bit of a loose yolk but not too runny. If you're having toast, you want the poached eggs on there unless you're in the mood for your usual – which is sourdough toast with jam when you have a full course breakfast. Raspberry jam if you can get it. Bacon – cooked to the point where it's stiff but not crispy or crunchy. You want a little give to it, a little flexibility. Hashbrowns are always a must – you typically eat them with ketchup unless you have egg yolk to dip them in. And then of course freshly squeezed orange juice as you like lots of pulp. And coffee. With far too much cream and sugar for my taste. Unless you're half-asleep and it's a lighter roast or flavoured then you like it black."

Magnus simply stared at him, taken aback at Alec's detailed summary of his breakfast preferences. It was a little scary how accurate he was, down to his cheese preferences and ideal choices for bread type and jam flavour.

"So. Do I get full marks?" Alec asked, biting into his toast.

"Yes. You continue to amaze me, Alec." Magnus admitted, taking a drink of his coffee before moving to dig into his eggs.

Alec shrugged one shoulder, looking a little bashful as he continued eating, and Magnus knew this man was going to be the death of him.

"So. Plans for today?"

"I figured you'd be sleeping off your hangover." Alec told him.

Magnus blew out a breath. "To be honest, I'm feeling much better. Was thinking about getting Raphael to book me some time at a local studio, get some rehearsal in. I have to make sure I bring the final tour performance to the next level. Can't be rusty after these few days off."

"I don't think a man with your talent and dedication gets 'rusty' but sounds good. I was thinking I should get the team together for some more training, so I can always keep busy with that if I can get an adjacent room. Don't want you too far away just in case."

"Works for me. I'll text Raph."

"We have to leave tomorrow for the next tour stop, don't forget. So don't work yourself too hard and put yourself out when you do have to get back on stage."

"Yes, Mom."

* * * * *

It was a few hours later when Alec finished up with the security team and set them free so he could go track down Magnus. He had received a call from Raphael regarding their flight changes and wanted to make sure Magnus wasn't planning on a repeat of the night before with the extra time they were allotted.

He hoped the fear of another hangover after the rough one he endured was enough to keep him away from binge-drinking. It probably helped he didn't have special company to entertain as well.

Still, Alec wasn't getting a response to his texts and he couldn't help feeling a little uneasy at the fact that, room apart or not, he had left Magnus alone without backup. It was unlikely that his stalker would show up to the rehearsal space they only had booked earlier that day, but Alec hadn't ruled out the fact that it may be someone on Magnus' team who didn't have his best interests at heart.

He could hear the music pumping through the door so he figured Magnus was still working away.

Alec slipped unnoticed into the room, unable to help the corner of his mouth upturning at the sight of Magnus moving in front of the mirror. Not many people had the pleasure of seeing him practice unrestrained, without an audience to woo or play off that he's perfect. Instead, his face would furrow in concentration as he tried move after different move, trying to find the one he liked. Redoing certain choreography, replaying the song or parts over and over again until he found the thing that worked.

Although Alec had been reluctant to be personal security for a celebrity, it was because he had assumed it would be a spoiled airhead who had just been blessed with talent and the kind of personality that attracted attention. Instead, he discovered just how much work and how many hours were spent making things seem effortless. It wasn't just Magnus' design team, who plastered him with make-up, hair products and spent hours having him try on every clothing item they had come across to find the right combination. It was the hours of sound checks, rehearsals, choreographing, vocal work, from sun up to sun down day after day and then full on nonstop live performances night after night. Every waking minute for Magnus was spent perfecting his image, his showmanship, or travelling and Alec was rather blown away by all of the little things that went into making him successful. He felt exhausted just watching him sometimes.

But he also saw the exhilaration and pure joy on Magnus' face after a performance or a great rehearsal in a new venue. The way he lit up like a thousand suns as soon as he stepped out onto stage and had the audience lose their mind.

The few days off they had had been used productively, outside of Izzy, Jace and Catarina's visit. Magnus had squeezed in a few more interviews on both TV and radio, but the last tour performance was in a few short weeks and Alec knew Magnus would bring his all to it for the fans.

"Like what you see, Alexander?"

Magnus' coy voice interrupted his contemplation.

Alec's smile widened, stepping further into the room now that he was caught. He couldn't help the small chuckle from escaping him. "Just thinking about how exhausted you look."

Magnus pouted, but Alec could see the hint of a smile threatening to break out. He picked up his towel and wiped off his face, making his way over after turning off the music.

"Well you try doing these moves without breaking a sweat."

Alec laughed fully. "I don't dance, thank you."

Magnus grinned. "I could make you."

"Now that sounds like a nightmare come true." Alec teased, rolling his eyes at the foolish man.

Magnus looked him up and down, a hint of suggestiveness in his eyes. "Not for me."

Alec chewed his tongue, trying not to read into anything too much. He knew Magnus was like that with people. Automatically flirty. It didn't have to mean anything. But he couldn't help the swoop in his gut from the flattering attention, hoping he could rely on the genuinity in Magnus' eyes and the encouragement from his siblings.

He knotted his hands behind his back and let out a breath. "Magnus… I came here to let you know that the flights got moved tomorrow to a later time so we've got some time to kill in the morning. I wasn't sure if you had anything you wanted to do while we wait. Raphael mentioned he could likely set up another interview or two."

"Hmm… I think I'm interviewed out for now. I have a better idea �� I want you to come with me somewhere."

"All right, where are we heading? I'll need to figure out where to station the others…"

Magnus interrupted, sly smirk gracing his handsome face. "Oh, no. Not everyone. Just you."

"Okay…. Now I'm afraid." Alec admitted.

Magnus grinned. "Don't worry. I'll protect you."

* * * * *

"You know, I can't ensure your safety if you don't give me a warning for where we are going." Alec reminded him as he followed Magnus through the streets of LA.

"Oh lighten up already. It won't kill you to be spontaneous." Magnus threw over his shoulder.

"But it might kill you." Alec reminded him.

Alec didn't have to see him to know he was rolling his eyes. "Now who's being dramatic?"

"You're insufferable."

"And yet I'm right." Magnus quipped.

Alec looked up at the blinking sign before following Magnus through the door – Pandemonium.

Leave it to Magnus to take him to a busy night club.

There were people packed on the dance floor and many seated at different booths around the place. There were multiple bars to buy drinks from, and Alec knew immediately where he'd be spending his time.

"Now this… this is exactly what I've been looking for." Magnus said, spreading his arms widely as he took in the scene.

Alec looked sideways at him to see him beaming, trying not to roll his eyes at how different they were.

He may be feeling something for Magnus, something he was trying to bury until he was positive Magnus returned his feelings, but it was times like these he wondered how he ever imagined they'd work when they were so opposite. Where Magnus saw fun and a good time, Alec saw a headache and claustrophobia.

Still, it was worth it to see Magnus so excited.

"Drink?" Alec asked, placing a hand on the small of his back to tether them together as they wove through different bodies.

"Mm I like the way your mind works." Magnus purred, leading him to the more empty of the bars towards the back.

Alec followed obediently, keeping his hand glued to Magnus even as he leaned against the dark wood.

"What's your poison?"

"Uh, beer, usually."

"Well we can't have that. Can we get two Singapore Slings?" Magnus asked the bartender when he came to their end, flashing a brilliant smile.

Alec sighed and accepted the drink that was passed to him, trying a sip.

"All right?"

Alec was surprised by his own answer. "Uh, yeah, it's actually really good."

Magnus beamed. "I had a feeling you'd like gin."

Alec took a deeper drink, enjoying the flavours mixed together.

"So. You got me here. Now what?"

"Now we dance." Magnus beamed.

"Oh no, no, no. I told you already I don't dance."

"Now, now. Remember who your partner is. I won't let you make a fool of yourself. You tutored me in pool—now it's time for me to return the favour."

"How about I stay here and keep an eye on things and you dance? I can already see several interested people watching you. I'm sure they won't step on your feet."

The song changed to an upbeat dance song and Magnus sighed.

"Fine, I will start without you. But only because I refuse to waste this Selena song."

Alec smiled, happy with his victory, and slid onto the bar stool. He swiveled to face the dance floor, eyes only leaving Magnus to make sure there were no impending threats and to signal the bartender for another when the time came.

A group of young girls, likely only recently of legal age, were down a couple paces clinking shot glasses and chatting animatedly.

Their eyes kept sweeping the dance floor and then glancing at Alec while they whispered to each other, and Alec felt his discomfort rise. He really hoped he wouldn't have to turn down yet another request to dance, this time from those very much not his type.

A blonde man stepped forward to order a drink, putting a barrier between Alec and the girl group. It wasn't until he accepted a very full beer from the bartender that Alec's luck declined and one of the girls bumped into the man, causing him to lose his footing and stumble backwards, accidentally sloshing his beer onto Alec.

Alec could hear the girls giggling and apologizing and the man dismissed them politely before turning to him with apologetic eyes.

"I am so very sorry. Can I do anything?" he asked with a strong British accent.

Alec accepted a couple paper towel sheets from him that the bartender had given him to help clean up the mess.

"No, no, I'm fine. It mostly landed on my shoes, and they'll be fine."

"Can I buy you a drink? It's the least I can do."

He was certainly good looking, with a megawatt smile and smooth voice, but Alec's heart was already well and truly stolen.

"I appreciate it but I'm really fine. Still nursing this one." he added, gesturing to the drink in his hand that only had a few swallows out of it.

"So are you drinking alone?"

"No, I just lost the person I came with to the allure of the dance floor."

The guy chuckled, eyes following the line of sight Alec kept returning to, and he held out a hand.

"I'm Sebastian."

"Alec." he replied politely.

"So why aren't you out there? It looks to me like you're in impressive shape so I bet your body knows how to move."

Alec didn't miss the purr to his voice as he said it, and he tried not to blush at the attention. He wasn't used to being outwardly flirted with by men. The odd woman, sure, but they were far less intimidating. Usually he let off such an unapproachable vibe he was left alone.

"I was born with two left feet."

"Oh dear. Did you see a podiatry specialist for that?"

It took Alec a beat and then he laughed despite himself. "I suppose I should have. Now it's too late."

Sebastian moved closer, sitting in the stool next to him. "I could always try to teach you. Can't say I'm any better of a dancer though."

Alec opened his mouth to reply then shut it, not sure what to say to that.

Sebastian smiled for a moment, looking like he was about to say something, but a body pressing into Alec's and an arm snaking around his waist interrupted the private conversation.

"Okay, I've been patient, but you really need to come dance now." Magnus whined, leaning his weight into Alec before turning to the blonde. "Who's this?"

"Sebastian Verlac." the British man explained, reaching out a hand to shake.

"Magnus Bane." Magnus said, arm tightening around Alec, and Alec tried not to smile at the possessiveness in his hold and the fact that he didn't lift a hand to reciprocate.

Sebastian clearly had picked up on the tension too, hand lowering slowly. "I had just been apologizing to Alec for my clumsiness. I managed to spill some of my drink on him."

"It wasn't your fault. You were bumped into. And you barely got any on me." Alec reminded him.

Magnus' eyes darted between them, narrowing at the soft smile on Sebastian's face at the defence.

"It was nice to meet you, Sebastian. Magnus, shall we?" Alec said, steering Magnus away without waiting for an answer.

It was hard to keep the grin off of his face, and Magnus' glare once they were alone made it clear that he was failing miserably at doing so.

"Why are you so amused?"

"I didn't take you for the jealous type." Alec admitted.

"I am not jealous!" Magnus exclaimed. He then seemed to catch on to the hysterical edge to his voice and pouted.

"It's flattering, really. A celebrity like yourself…" Alec teased.

"You know, your smugness is not an attractive quality."

"Mm I don't know. I think you find me plenty attractive anyways." he grinned.

"Oh, shut up and dance already." Magnus grumbled, twirling away from him as he started moving to the song. Alec recognized it as a popular single by Camila Cabello that Izzy used to sing around the house.

Maybe it was the alcohol in his system or the ego boost from Magnus' obvious jealousy at another man stealing his attention away, but Alec was feeling more confident that he was right that there was something growing between them.

Alec reached for Magnus' waist, tugging his body flush to him, and he saw Magnus' eyes darken immediately.

"I thought you wanted to dance together?" Alec murmured, hands clutching Magnus' hips to keep their pelvises snug as they moved in rhythm.

Magnus' body responded immediately, grinding against him, and his hand slid up his chest to cup Alec's neck.

"I thought you said you don't dance." Magnus breathed into his skin, nosing along his collarbone.

"I said I don't–not that I can't." Alec replied, palming across Magnus' lower back and slipping under the hem of his shirt to stroke his skin.

It was like it was just the two of them in the room. A fight could break out inches away and they'd be oblivious, far too focused on the feel of being so close after so long of denying themselves.

Alec rotated Magnus so they were entwined back to front, Magnus' ass nestling into the contour of his hips. Magnus grinded back into him, groaning at the feel of Alec's arousal trapped between them and feeling his own spring to life.

"Alexander…" Magnus whispered, head falling back to his shoulder so he could speak against his cheek, intentionally letting his lips brush the soft skin. "We're going to have to move this or this is going to get very embarrassing for me soon."

Alec knew he wouldn't be alone in that, and that Magnus must be able to feel his body responding to the friction they were creating between their bodies.

"Let's go." Alec said huskily, separating them and heading towards the door.

Magnus interlaced their fingers and let Alec lead him out of the club, the shiver that went through his body having nothing to do with the night air.

* * * * *

Continue to Chapter 9

[flightofaqrow]

(stand-in) father’s day

qrow + Jackson Rosenthal ( @thehopefulones​​​ )

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“No, no, no, you can’t get out of bed yet— MISTER BRANWEN YOU CAN’T GET OUT OF BED YET!” Jackson was pushing against the door with all of his might, as the smoke alarm was going off in the kitchen.

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he’d never heard Jackson’s voice so loud. nor did a smoke alarm ever sound so incredibly blasted into his ears as a wakeup call, which made sense as the wafting smell of smoke filtered into his nose next.

“Jackson…” he tries to open the door as normal, and that doesn’t work, “please, whatever it is just let me help.” he really doesn’t want to have to shove the kid or break the door.

could something still be his fault if he were sleeping?

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It was burning, not on fire but burning and Jackson knew he would simply be slid or knocked out of the way if Qrow decided not to entertain him any longer. “Ohhh nooookay fine but you have to cover your eyes!”

Jackson waited, still fiercely planted against the door, for reassurance that his work would remain a successful surprise…but then the pot was actually on fire. “Uh oh.”

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covering his eyes would not actually let him help with the issue much, but at least it gets him past the door which is objective one. he does as told, somehow commanded by an 11 year old bunny boy.

“okay, they’re covered,” he gruffs past the door and tries turning the handle again. as he pushes he recalls where the sink is in relation to the stove and where the fire extinguisher is in their room. “i won’t look at anythin’ i don’t have to.”

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Jackson pulled Qrow by the hand, leading him rapidly to the kitchen and then herding him to sit down as the flames grew higher and he had to deal with them. He was just emitting a steady keening noise of pure panic as he grabbed the lid and slammed it down on it, smothering them out. “It’s fine, I got it! It’s okay! Uhh— don’t open them yet!”

He made quite the commotion with a chair and broom to get the alarmed turned off, then when he threw most of the mess into the sink to hide it from immediate view. Despite the literal trial by fire, the result wasn’t half bad. Successful omelette, coffee, a bowl of oatmeal full of all the best fixings arranged in a smiley face.

Jackson set down a little cup of flowers he had surely picked from outside and stepped back, covered in every ingredient he had used but proud. “Okay.”

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he trusts him, because he has to, because while qrow is quite used to things catching on fire around him, he is also used to being the one to make it even worse. Jackson has proven to know his way around basic survival, and qrow’s even filled in some of the gaps. and he can, at any point, break this promise and open his eyes for the sake of safety if he has to.

the panicked noise and blaring alarm sets his own heart a little racing, but he breathes and focuses on other senses. the clank of pans tells him the issues are being addressed, the alarm turns off, the smell of acute flames turns to smoke and char.

qrow opens his eyes once allowed, turning immediately towards the kitchen for a mental sweep. it looks like a disaster, but no longer an emergency. next, he assesses Jackson. who also looks like a disaster, but happy and safe, and admittedly adorable. then, the table, with a spread fit for possibly four people - more food in one place than qrow has had in a week at some points of his life.

he’s smiling, especially at the goofiness of the oats smiling back at him, but he still raises a skeptical brow at the boy, “a right breakfast feast, here, Jack. what’s the occasion?”

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This was the moment he was most apprehensive about; having to explain why he went through all the effort in the first place, the terrible ordeal of being found out. Jackson took off his glasses to wipe them clean on a patch of shirt that could acceptably work for the task and looked right down at his feet, his right ear giving his anxiety away with a consistent twitch.

“It’s Father’s Day.” He explained softly, like that made it all clear. Oh, now he couldn’t see his feet through blurry eyes. “We would always make him dinner, except I can’t do that now. You’re the best I have and I didn’t want to spend all day feeling sad, so I thought I’d start a new tradition and make you breakfast. Because you’re always doing the kinds of things for me that my dad used to and— and I’m really…”

This was so much harder than he ever thought it would be to say. “I’m just really lucky I found you.”

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qrow’s heart breaks for how terribly sad Jackson looks, how he puts on his not wanting to talk face.

and then it bleeds even further with the mention of his father and the tears coming on - the father he lost to Tyrian. that explanation is all it takes to be made clear, clearer than qrow wished it could be.

and then he puts all those broken bits right back together in a giant blob of mush. complete mush. so mushy it’s all too easy to swallow. qrow should have known, for so many reasons. he should be used to this too; the girls used to do it all the time for Tai and him. yet he’s not; never will be. every time it’s like a stitch to the many cuts in his soul, a salve for every scrape of bad luck to remind him that some things in life matter more, and the stronger beat within his chest makes it tighten with a threat to nearly implode. come to think of it, in all of their own adventuring, he’s never mentioned the girls yet, has he?

“thanks, kid,” he reaches out for that twitching ear and runs it through his fingers to still, “this is kind of you. you worked really hard and i’m glad to be here for it. i’d say it’s a great tradition to start.”

dismissal of some of the things said comes natural - qrow simply allows himself to be a vessel for the kid to project onto; he won’t deny him that, won’t take it away with argumentative pessimism. his own inner intrusive voice stays quieter on the subject without alcohol adding guilt, and too many voices brighten the mood even louder - Summer, Ruby, Clover, Jackson himself. qrow can tell himself he’s been a mentor and it’s okay to accept some gratitude for it. he’s allowed to be happy. and he is.

his hand moves down to the side of the young one’s face and his thumb wipes away any wet still gathering beneath wibbly eyes, “don’t think i ever told ya, but i have two nieces. more or less grown now, but they used to do this kinda thing all the time,” touch continues further to land on his shoulder, the way it always did when qrow got more serious, “…havin’ you here makes it easier for me to be away from my family, too.”

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Jackson felt he had been trying to make it over straining bridge fraught in a strong wind, boards and ropes creaking with every step, promising to pitch him into the ravine below if he stepped wrong. This could be the thing that finally made Qrow fed up with him. He would reach the limitation of how high needy a child could be. But then his teacher gently pet his head to calm him down and smiled at him, spoke affectionately and Jackson knew he was across the bridge. As raw and aching as the absence of his father was, he found a way to still smile with a sniffle, a tear making its way free but wiped away just as quick. He stepped forward on his tip toes so he could reach his arms around Qrow’s shoulders, only accomplished because the man was seated, and hugged him as tight as he could with his little frame. Not very tight, of course. “We’re like a family, I think.” his voice was muffled in Qrow’s shoulder. 

[thegeneralsnotebook]

January Feature: ‘As’ Effects Are Dumb

After taking it at least somewhat easy with many of my articles as 2018 was winding to a close, I’ve decided to open up the New Year with something quite a bit more meaty. Be advised, this article is going to be taking a moderately deep dive into the rules, and into some pretty complex pieces of the rules too. It definitely won’t be a very beginner-friendly piece of writing, so I’ll say sorry to anyone who was looking for something like that. Maybe next month.

‘As’ effects, and the way that the game resolves them, are a concept that’s been digging at me really ever since they first became a thing in Absolute Discord. Queen Chrysalis, Identity Theft was the first card to make use of the ‘As’ timing for its enter-the-board text, and it naturally caused quite a stir and more than a little confusion once people started seeing it in play. The idea behind the card, and the reasons why it couldn’t have used a normal enters-play trigger, are pretty straightforward. Chrysalis is built to function as a copy of the card that it’s targeting, as if you had played another copy of the same card. All of the text on the original card should thus be operational on the new card. But because of the way enters-the-board triggers are resolved, if Chrysalis gains the ability when she enters play, the triggering point will already have passed and the newly gained triggers won’t fire. So in order for those triggers to fire, Chrysalis has to gain the abilities before she enters play.

This necessitated the creation of Rule 706.1a, which I’ll inline here just so that we all have it. It defines an additional step in the process of what happens when cards enter play, coming right before the application of modifiers that affect the state in which the card is entering.

(706.1a) Any abilities that occur ‘as [something] enters play’ are applied. This is a one-time check; if one such ability causes a card to gain another ability with the same timing, the gained ability will not be processed. If multiple such abilities would be applied, they are all checked simultaneously and then applied in order. (711)  

For what it’s worth, this rule solves the problem that Chrysalis poses relatively succinctly, and under its umbrella the game was even able to manage Wakeup Call and Desert Road several sets later. But there’s a problem. And the problem is that this rule is stupid.

Rules & Exceptions

I appreciate systems. All good games, but especially open-ended ones like CCGs and RPGs, are built around systems that get bent and deformed a little or sometimes a lot as the design space widens, but are robust and well-designed enough to handle pretty much whatever you want to throw at them. For an (hopefully somewhat relatable) example, the core resolution system of Dungeons & Dragons goes as follows: player decides to do something, DM determines appropriate check and necessary modifiers, player rolls d20, consequences happen. This gets bent and twisted all over the place in the course of play, but the fundamental structure is robust and flexible enough to handle pretty much the whole game.

And that’s good, because having a simple system that underlies the majority of a game’s play makes that game easier to learn, and easier to navigate, even when things start getting more complicated. Everything extraneous to the core system system becomes one more thing that the players have to hold in their heads as they play, so the more stuff that can be resolved in the system itself without breaking the system, the easier it will be to navigate the game.

MLP, for what it’s worth, has a pretty solid system at its core: the concept of Priority Windows and Pre-Priority Processing. Essentially, triggers can fire at any time, but their effects will only resolve during the next PPP step. While there are a couple of complications in resolving those triggers, the basic gameplay loop is made pretty simple. Before the window, stuff resolves, then (maybe) somebody does something, and then the resulting triggers resolve, and so on. All we have to do is remember when Priority Windows happen, and we’re set. Nice and easy.

Of course, to bring this somewhat-extended tangent back to the matter at hand, ‘As’ effects are dumb because they can’t exist inside this system, and so the only way to have them in the game is to break it. By resolving between declaration and resolution, there is no Priority Window for them to resolve at. Worse still, ‘As’ effects can be confusing because they look like triggers, but they’re not triggers. They’re their own special thing that resolves in its own special way as defined by one paragraph buried deep in the rules. For the rest of time, we are now doomed to saying “Except for ‘As’ effects” whenever we want to make a general statement about how things enter the board.

Naturally, having this particular, small set of cards that work in a very different way from how other cards work makes the game harder to learn, and makes it harder to play. It’s more things to keep in your head as you try to navigate the interactions between cards and try to craft a strategy for the way that you’re going to play a turn. I wouldn’t go so far as to say that the game would be better off without ‘As’ effects, as certainly now that they exist they’ve been used to do some nice things, with particular note being paid to Wakeup Call and Desert Road. But it would be much nicer if we could find a way to fix them, or at least make them more palatable as a full element of the game, rather than something that feels a little tacked-on just to make certain cards work.

Prospective Solutions

The most natural solution seems to be a pretty simple one: give the ‘As’ cards a Priority Window to resolve at, so that the core structure of the action loop is preserved. The idea might start to sound even better once we realize that this is essentially what Magic: the Gathering does to enable its counterspells. Such a response, though, would solve this issue at the cost of opening up a whole hornet’s nest of additional problems. Because in reality, what we’re now doing is breaking open the loop even more, by allowing any number of things to happen in between an action’s declaration and its resolution. Magic can get away with this because it has a stack; a well-defined system for ordering the resolution of events declared and/or triggered in relation to each other. In theory, Ponies could implement something similar, but almost certainly not without a) violating core design principles of the game, and b) likely not even solving the issue we wanted to solve in the first place. (In fact, the merits of MLP’s lack of a stack are a topic that I’m going to save for some time in the future.)

So if that solution is out, what do we have left? If an answer exists, I don’t think that it lies in changing how ‘As’ effects behave, essentially for the reasons described above. We can’t really tinker around in that space without seriously compromising the game’s design, and if we fundamentally alter the behaviour of the text, then we invalidate admittedly cool cards like Chrysalis and Desert Road.

Instead, I think that it could lie in adopting ‘As’ as a fully-fledged timing in the same class as ‘When’. If we can’t fold it into the usual resolution cycle, at least by integrating it more closely into the game we can make it feel like less of an exception. RIght now, as defined the ‘As’ timing only matters when cards are being played. But from a conceptual standpoint, I can’t see a reason why that couldn’t be extended to other actions. The important thing to keep in mind is that as opposed to a traditional trigger, which resolves according to the normal Priority system, an ‘As’ timing would resolve between the declaration of an action and its resolution. This is exactly how it currently works with playing cards.

For example, a hypothetical card with the text: “As you draw a card, put a 1-Pink Earth Pony Friend token into play” would resolve after the resolution of a modifier or ability that allowed you to draw a card, but before you actually draw the card. If the resolution of an ‘As’ effect causes another ‘As’ effect to fire, it resolves right away, as per normal. If it causes a normal trigger to fire, it would resolve according to the usual loop (i.e. before the next Priority Window).

Now, just to be safe, let me say that this is a first-thought idea here. I’m well aware that such a concept would have to be very closely scrutinized to make sure that nothing funny was happening with the game as a result of it. As per usual, we find a whole pantry full of cans of worms once we start considering how this would interact with replacement modifiers, which “happenings” are even worth having an ‘As’ effect attached to them, and what sort of things are reasonable to have happen on such a timing. I’m not even sure if this design space allows anything particularly novel. But it sounds to me like something at least worth thinking about. Heck, just in the last paragraph there was a problem emerging: that chains of ‘As’ timings create a queue of actions that are held up behind the triggered events, and could conceivably require significant bookkeeping to keep track of. Thinking through problems like that would take significant time.

Notably, one can take the same argument that I’ve made above and throw it back onto this suggestion. Because in implementing ‘As’ as a fully-fledged timing, what we’ve essentially done is create two classes of triggers, one of which follows the normal resolution loop, and one which doesn’t. Isn’t that needless extra complication? Isn’t that harder to remember and harder to learn?

Well, sure it does. Except that two classes of triggers is what we’ve already got.

[ts-nightingaleislands]

Episode #1- “I AM ONE OF THE TWO OLD LADIES OF THIS SEASON AND I’M ONLY 29!!”- Gwen

Here is what I wanna say before the game even starts: I want to be the villain of this season. I wanna piss people off, stab people in the back, and do whatever I can to ruin other people's games. In all honesty, I don't really care about winning or not, as long as I have fun while doing it. The goal is to be like Russel Hantz or Tyson. I picked Tommy as my icon for the irony, because everyone else will associate me with his kindness before I stab them in the back. 

I'm looking forward to this game! So glad it's with a bunch of newbies, I was worried it'd end up being a half and half deal and that's the format I've been completely fucked over by in the past, so fingers crossed without jinxing myself I can thrive here! I'll do a proper cast assessment of my tribe in the morning when I've spoken to more people and gotten a better feel for them, but I already love Gwen and she's definitely somebody I can see myself working with. I need to rewatch the introductions as well since there's so many videos.. obviously missed the memo about that myself oops! 

feeling really good on day one so far. the tribe seem great and im already keeping my eye out for a few i wanna work with . we wil just see what happens after the immunity challenge .

I don’t even know yet. Kinda hard to judge who is friends with who. i’m supposed to ge your tawni for my idol thing but that’s not gonna happen bc she’s the only one i KNOW

Sweet fishsticks on ice, what a night! I talked to everyone on the tribe and they are awesome! My goal is to use today to try and get to know everyone more and make them comfortable. I'd say ai definitely do vibe with a few people, namely Gwen, AnnMarie, Rizo, and Liam but I like to keep my options like the oceans- open

Something funny took place! I talked to Gwen who said she wanted to work with essentially me, Rizo, AnnMarie, Sara, and Liam. No more than 2-3 minutes after, Rizo messages me with more sorta the same proposal. Dont get me wrong I am for this, but I will say it was pretty telling to me of the ones I may have to keep my eyes on!

Marooning Night: Everything’s looking solid so far. Tribe seems to be shaping up nicely and I’m making some good connections with people. Hopefully we can be competitive in challenges. I’ve connected with AnnMarie through band, Sara through zwooper, Rizo through sports, and Tim right off the bat through not mowing what we were doing :)  I haven’t gotten the chance to talk to Kyle yet, but from his video I gleaned that we are both big husker fans and that we were both at the Nebraska Iowa game, so there should be a good connection there. There is one thing that makes me a little nervous though. I looked through the cast reveal and I am the youngest person on the cast. I know that’s doomed the game of some survivor players, and I’m not sure how much that will affect this game. I guess we’ll have to wait and see.

Well I love everyone. So friendly! I have a lot in common with everyone and it's so exciting. I enjoyed meeting everyone, but the game part of the game came quickly behind. It seems that a group is developing with me, rizo, liam, chris, and gwen. I'm glad that Ive already been pulled into a group, it makes me feel comfortable. But I have to be careful. It is only the first round. I'm worried about my inactivity and that affecting challenges. I gotta wakeup at 5 am for school, so going to bed at midnight may not be the best. Hopefully no one notices.

Morning Day 1: What the hell. You’ve got to be kidding me. This sucks. Why does this have to be the twist in my first season. We have to get THREE players voted out of the game before we can get an idol, and then if we keep playing them right we can get up to three straight. We got our target list, and of course, I got AnnMarie, Tim and Sara. Three of the people I’ve connected with the most and wanted to work with. And now, in order to have a chance at the first idol(s), all three of them have to be voted out. I don’t think I’m going to try for that idol very hard, at least not until we get new target lists, cause I want to work with those people.

Right now I could see three possibilities for first boot. Cheatham and Zach haven't been that active, and then Will just makes me feel so uncomfortable that I sort of want to vote him out right now. But not in a "hey lets throw the challenge to vote him out" way bc he won't be playing so it might be unfair based solely on that. Austin is cool but a little inactive so far, he seems decidedly average. Tawny hasn't spoken to me yet :( but still she spoke a lot in our call so if I were to target her based off that it could only end poorly. Noah is cool, I get the feeling he is going to overplay tremendously, so maybe I'd like to have him as my number one. Amy and Dylan are great as well, and I would also love to work with them if I can. Ideal alliance so far would be me, Amy, Austin, Dylan, Noah so far. But only if I'm not the guy who organizes it singlehandedly

What’s on my right now is that I am very comfortable with where I am in the game, I have already made connections with a few people and I am very confident I will be staying in this game for a while. To talk about this twist let me quote Debbie and say “AND IM PISSED” I can’t even do this twist because I’m working with somebody on my list and I don’t want them gone.

What’s on my mind is that The Cock Destroyer alliance will hopefully run the tribe, my main objective is to not get the weak people gone first since I wanna drag them alone like a sack of meet so one of my main targets for now is Dylan because I’m gonna be honest I don’t trust the guy and he gotta go, PERIOD!

Noah/Amy/Dylan/Zach/me alliance sounds fun lets do it Will/Austin/Tawni all have decent connections just not with me Cheatham is looking like a first boot candidate rn bc no one's mentioning him as someone they like, so hopefully I'll be ok for at least one tribal if we lose the challenge

Holy guacamole, I went from feeling like we were Hopeless in Seattle to being D2 the Mighty Ducks. Being able to find the right door first is a huge relief but I have to gio my hat off to my entire tribe because we make a great team and Gwen rocked this!

So it's been less than 24 hours and I've spoken to everyone. Right now, I just want to get everyone to like me because that will make them want to work with me. My targets are Will, Dylan and Cheatham. Right now, I just want to isolate them, or form a majority alliance without them, because that will make my game much easier.

Uh oh. Since I have high school I wasn't able to be active all day for this (kinda confusing) challenge. I'm really hoping that this isn't going to put too big of a target on my back. My target right now is Dylan. He's one of my targets, and I'm pretty sure I'm one of his, judging by the fact that he never responded to me when I said I wanted to work with him.

Alliance time! I just made an alliance with everyone except the 3 on my target list. This is exactly how I planned. I think I redeemed myself after not really doing much in the challenge, and I'm already playing harder than the others. The fact that I created the alliance will make the people in it feel good too because now they will think I really trust them. Anyway, if all goes to plan we can eliminate one of my three targets (Cheatham, Will, Dylan) and slowly get each of them out until I get my idol.

So the alliance is me, Will, Vincent, Amy, Austin and Tawni. I got Amy to give one of the other three as a name so I didn't have to seem too vocal, and she said Cheatham which makes me home that he is gone first. But unless plans change, I'll have 1/3 targets gone, leaving Will and Dylan as my next 2 to go. I'm sorry, but this is just lining up way too easily for me.

I am so happy we won! Man talk about comeback! I think this is going to help push stuff in the right directions for sure! Rizo and I may have a pair going on but we're talking about creating a 4some (me, him, Gwen, and Sara) and maybe that can lead to a majority chat with the others. I do know I want to keep my options open without forgetting the opportunities that will soon be closed

I’m a little pissed off, so my plan was to get rid of Dylan but my so called alliance memebers are like DONT VOTEEEE DYLANNNWNWNWN, because Zach decided to think he was being clever by trying to make an alliance which excluded me but little does his tiny brain know that his ass is grass and he’s going to be waddling out of tribal. Noah said why do I wanna make big moves round 1 and simply I just wanted Dylan out because I have a big feeling he’s untrustworthy PERIOD.

I feel like as it’s the first round I’ll do a little mini tribe assessment. cheatham - only one I know coming into this so obviously gonna stick with him. Noah - he’s more cracked than the love child of JJ and Keaton Dylan - seems like cool people. I enjoy a fellow Texan Vincent - who? Amy - sweet gal Will - I enjoy the accent Austin - I also enjoy the accent. I feel at home. Hate the name. It’s my ex’s name. Both of them Back to Noah - also hate the name. Name of a fuck boy from earlier this year. Zach - WHO!? Apparently cause I was like who am I forgetting. Apparently Zach. Ok but wtf is up with the “Solid Six” tf??? Making an alliance out of panic maybe? Also....cheatham thinking calling Noah sane makes it true or something??? Like honestly wtf is even going on. Like what is this fucking twist? What what that challenge and WHY THE FUCK IS EVERYONE MAKING THINGS DIFFICULT ON THE FIRST VOTE JUST GET THE PERSON WHO DIDNT CONTRIBUTE TO THE CHALLENGE (so I’ve been told. Let’s be real here I still don’t understand it and I just consented my life and first born away) AND MOVE THE FUCK ON AND WIN THE NEXT ONE PLEASE BECAUSE THEY ARE A BUNCH OF PARANOID FREAKS! Hi I’m tawni and welcome to stonerverse. I’m sorry I wrote that but I’m keeping it in here.

ok so we lost despite my best efforts >:( (i like writing cfs bc skype won't turn my emojis ugly here, the fact that I can read them more easily post-season is merely a bonus) The consensus is to vote out Zach, because he is easily the least active. He was the last person to really show up, still barely talked to anyone (aside from me apparently), and didn't contribute to the challenge at all. Now, I firmly believe that out of everyone in the game, Zach trusts me the most. So in a way, it would be beneficial to keep him. However, doing that would unfortunately sever my ties with other potential allies who are more likely to be useful to me, such as Noah or Austin. I did briefly try to campaign for Will leaving, and I am very sure that I could pull off a 5-4 blindside with Zach, Dylan, Noah, and maybe Amy, but that would be quite messy. Austin and Cheatham are set on the Zach train, and I have 0 relationship with Tawni, so going for those votes is unrealistic. And to be honest, the whole thing doesn't necessarily paint me in the best light, and it puts me in the spotlight I want to avoid right now. Amy - she's a good ally so far and i like talking to her, and it doesn't even seem like she's that active which doesn't make her as dangerous as some of the other players on this tribe. definitely someone worth raising hell to save. Austin - he's cool, we're together, he's active, but he's impossible to read. i cant tell if hes going to be a major flop or a major threat, this guy is going to be fun to play with, and i am 95% sure that if i'm voted out, he'll have had something to do with it. Cheatham - he's certainly an interesting character. he is quite active, which will serve him well, but i'm not feeling as if he's going to be a top contender. Dylan - he's one of my favourite people to talk to, but i've heard several people mentioning him as someone they like, so I'll need to make sure that I don't under-estimate him. Noah - I said a few hours in (in my thread) that Noah would be an amazing ally, and so far it's looking like he's my number one. I haven't lied to him at all (even by omission), and I hope we can keep this up right until I take him out at the final 5 >:) (lmao i'm not merging why should i be planning my endgame) Tawni - declaring right now she is the most dangerous player on my tribe. would be a great vote if will/zach weren't on my tribe and if she wasn't so well-connected otherwise. Will - he isn't talking to me anymore, out of everyone in the tribe he would help my game the least. also, we'd had a bit of a weird conversation earlier which I really didn't like so idk if I'd be ok working with him. Zach - voted out, no one can have an idol so i won't be 1-0'd

um, my tribe is really cool. I like everyone, hopefully we win more

Who knew these ORGs could be so fun? Probably everyone reading this. But seriously, I am having a blast so far. Ok, so a few things before I get to my thoughts on my tribemates: 1. Before reading on, be aware that anything I say should be taken with a grain of salt. I apologize for my dry sense of humor and my ego in advance. 2. I AM ONE OF THE TWO OLD LADIES OF THIS SEASON AND I’M ONLY 29!! 3. You should know that I am very competitive. And I like to be in control. It is going to be really hard for me to take my foot off the gas pedal sometimes! I cannot tell you how difficult it was to leave my tribe for an hour and a half this morning for a meeting for work and have them continue the immunity challenge without me. I put together a spreadsheet and updated it as we took our turns. I was also the one to dictate our moves most of the time. The hosts were very particular about the format of our moves, down to the spaces and punctuation. I did not want anyone to send an incorrect response without me checking it first. But when I had to go into a work meeting, I had to let it go. They were successful without me (after my extensive and thorough coaching of course). They appear to be capable human beings (insert laughing emoji here). 4. One thing that I am not telling the rest of the castaways is the exact nature of my job. Luckily, my official job title is “Case Manager,” so I can get away with seeming way less awesome than I actually am. They know that I work with kids with autism. But what I am leaving out is that I supervise ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis) programs. I am planning to sit for my board certification exam next year. (Fingers crossed!!) I develop and monitor behavior intervention programs, as well as train staff and caregivers in how to implement the principles of ABA. Yes, my job involves analyzing and modifying the behavior of kids with autism, but behavior is behavior regardless of about whom you are talking. The basic principles of behavior still apply…defining, predicting, and ultimately modifying the behavior of others through manipulation of environmental variables that either reinforce or punish specific behaviors. I could go into more, but I won’t now. Maybe in some future confessional I will give some specific examples. Look at me applying my work to my “personal life” 5. I am in one “official” alliance, meaning we have a separate group chat – it is called the Sunt Pack. It consists of Rizo, Sara, and me. We are all Sam Hunt fans, hence the “Sunt Pack.” The following points are about my fellow tribemates. I’m glad I waited until today to share my opinions, because they have definitely changed since we competed in the immunity challenge! 6. AnnMarie – Very sweet high school girl. I am in an unofficial alliance with her and Sara that Sara doesn’t know about yet called “CP” – Clarinet Pride. (EDIT – she knows about it now because I just made a group chat) AnnMarie currently plays clarinet in her school band and Sara and I played clarinet when we were in school. My only concern about AnnMarie is that she can’t have her phone on her during the school day. We were able to work around it in the challenge today, but I don’t know how this will affect future challenges; however, it might be beneficial later on when the game is individual. For now, I am trying to be a “mother” type figure to her…giving her advice about after graduating high school. I feel that we have bonded over this. 7. Chris – Awesome guy! He is in the unofficial majority alliance (that I hope is the only majority alliance haha) with AnnMarie, Liam, Sara, and Rizo. We’ve had some cool chats. I think we would get along well in real life. 8. Liam – The Dom to my Colin. Very cool chap. Wicked conversation – had a very riveting discussion about how accounting and philosophy majors are so similar. Clearly. But seriously. In the unofficial majority alliance. 9. Sara – my fellow OLD LADY. We have a lot in common because we are about the same age, and we graduated high school the same year. We also both like country music. Seemed kind of quiet when we did a group audio/video chat. SARA IS ON MY LIST OF PEOPLE TO GET OUT. As much as I love a fellow Grandma, I will figure out how to get her out of the game, if not by my hands directly. In the unofficial majority alliance. 10. Kyle – He was the last person that I talked to. I definitely had the wrong impression of him before our audio/video chat during the challenge. Seems like a pretty chill dude. Plus he has lots of adorable pets. But, HE IS ALSO ON MY LIST OF PEOPLE TO GET OUT! He seems pretty savy, so might not be the worst move near the end of the pre-merge. 11. Steven – Not much to say – haven’t talked to him very much in individual chat. Seems nice enough. I need to get to know him better, but HE IS ALSO ON MY LIST. So, whatevs. (In all seriousness though, I’m sure he is lovely and I would love to get to know him!!!!) 12. Rizo – My brother from another mother! Puns puns puns across the board! Dad jokes FTW. Need I say more? I need to make this gentleman my ride or die. And then slay him in the finals. Then be BFFs after. In the unofficial majority alliance. 13. Tim – He was another one that I think I was wrong about. I make one incorrect Harry Potter reference, trying to be all smart…BUT I think we bonded over the challenge. In the audio/video chat, we nerded out over our Survivor fandom and strategy for the challenge. So I may have been wrong about him. 14. Okay, this is long. Is that normal? I have no idea. I’m new to this. I am SO THANKFUL to now be a part of this community. I cannot tell you how refreshing it is to be able to make a reference to a past season and have other people actually know what I am talking about. That’s all for now! 

Coming into this game I honestly expected to know a few people..or have at least seen them around but I didn't (with the exception of Tawni but I don't know her well). I love that. When you start fresh, nobody can judge you based off previous experience. Observing and picking up things about strangers is literally one of the most fun aspects of games to me. I got the best vibes at the very beginning from Rizo/Gwen/Liam and also Tim...but could tell right from the get go that Gwen is a THREAT! Women's intuition. The comp just confirmed it further. I pray to the Survivor gods that others aren't blinded and realize this! I could tell before any alliance was even made that she was close with Chris too and probably closer with Rizo then I am. Being in 3 different alliances with her is inch resting. She's playing hard and to win! But anywayyyyys..had we lost, I figured Steven might be an easy first boot because he was just rather quiet and kept to himself...but then he SHOWED UP at the end of that comp and finally started initiating Convo with me and not the other way around. So when we lose..whos an easy vote? Idk. Pretty sure the answer is nobody! And then there's Kyle.... I didn't really give him a second thought until we went on group call and then played in the comp. He's just so chill and laid back and those are the people I like working with. I don't like pushy players and I don't like sheep and he's neither of those so I'm hoping that we can stick together for a long while. He's also fun to hassle so. Yeah um...this confessional is getting really long so I'll stop ranting for a while...though I have plenty to say. *Giggle*

so zach thinks he has a solid six alliance but....that's not gonna happen sweetie. he is such a easy target and one of the three on my list so ya gotta go. :)

Zach LITERally went to everyone in the house day 1 and asked to work with them after 2 words to eachother. Since i wasn’t buying it, we made an alliance called Solid Six 😳🤢 and he wants me out. Newsflash bitch, i made and alliance and everyone wants HIM out. The Sanes Ones about to win the season. I knew Tawni before this. Noah is a little crackhead-y but I think he is loyal to me. Dylan is such a sweetheart and i love him. And Amy... well... she plays pokemon?ANYWAYS, can’t wait for my first survivor tribal EVER

Going into tribal tonight I have no worries at all, I’m sitting comfortable in The Cock Destroyers alliance and we will be running the game until a tribe swap or until we merge. To the elimination tonight I don’t really want Zach to go since in my eyes he’s Gypsy Rose aka helpless in this game. Something else I’ve noticed there is a lot of gay guys on this tribe and I have one thing to say Only One Faggot Will Win and that me 😘

We are about to head in to tribal and honestly, there hasn't been much gameplay going on. I am voting for Cheatham because he is one of my three targets, and he hasn't spoken a single word to me about working with me. Of course there is a chance that I am just oblivious to everyone else and that I am going home, but I really hope that's not the case.

8 votes Zach, 1 vote Cheatham.

[jbfras-blog]

Be A Dream Maker

        Sometimes we are faced with life changing decisions. Decisions where the consequences could permanently alter the course of our lives. My twenties were crazy! I made choices that cost me close relationships and I made other choices that blessed me with close relationships.

        I look back on some of those choices, the things I did, the things I said and wish I could have said or done things a little differently; but I didn't have the awareness that I do now.

       However, those choices and their consequences, coupled with experiences I went on to have (marriage, children, being self-employed, and the military) have refined me into who I am now. So I will not regret those things but I will be thankful for the lessons learned and will apply them from here on out.

        When I served my two year mission for the Mormon church, the man I answered to, Gary Pehrson, gave me some amazing advice that still leads me to this day: create your own personal board of directors. This is a group of people that are not only experts in their area but they're also people you can trust. These are people you can consult for insight and guidance on anything. Now here's the key: they have to be people who will be honest. They cannot be people who are negative and people who try to control you.

        Let me specify negative people. I call them dream killers. These are people who don't seem to possess a positive bone in their body and all they do is tear down your ideas. Some will argue a negative perspective can be useful. Screw that! You can get that from an honest person who will not only tell you what you may not want to hear, but will also give you solutions!

        People who want to control you. I call them dream robbers. People who want to not only own and take credit for your success and dreams, but OWN you! There's honest criticism that will help you progress, see things from a different perspective, but then there's criticism that will tear you down and bully you into their way. That's the key difference between negative people and controllers: controllers will offer solutions but in the context of "my way or the highway." And if you do it their way and accomplish your goals and dreams they will take credit and say"you couldn't have done that without me!" And you'll be touted as their trophy in their social circles. However, if you accomplish your goal any way but theirs they will downplay it and say "whatever, it's not that big of a deal," or even find everything negative about it.

        Dream killers say "don't try" and dream robbers say "you shouldn't do it without me." Dream killers and dream robbers can come in the forms of friends, family, co-workers, teachers and so on. There is no shortage of people who will happily slit your path to happiness' throat.

        Honest people, the dream makers I call them, will tell you honestly, if not bluntly, how to reach your goals and your dreams. And when you accomplish what you set out to do, and you thank them for their help they'll say "you're the one who did it. That was all you."

        Seek out the dream makers. The people who will support you. The people who will push you harder than you could have done alone.

        I had a knee surgery in high school that killed my senior cross country season. I came back for track and lost one of my first few races back. I stepped off the track proud of my efforts with what little training I had. Harlan Yriarte, one of my greatest mentors, asked me "why did you lose?"

        "I just got off crutches five weeks ago," I replied "I thought that went great for having had knee surgery."

         He looked me right in the eyeball and growled "no one cares you had knee surgery! And neither should you."

         I won the next race! And then he slapped me on the shoulder and said "see what you can do?!"

        Look for those kind of people. The kind who will inspire you to reach your true potential.

        Sometimes it's hard because your parents, or siblings, your own family may be the dream killers or dream robbers in your life. Your boyfriend, girlfriend, or spouse may even be one. I have worked very hard to surround myself with people who are dream makers.

        I have little, if not anything, to do with people who were once in my life that are dream killers or dream robbers. And when I meet someone new and I learn they are negative or controlling I don't pursue a relationship, personal or professional, with that person.

        Seeking dream makers is only one side of the coin... The other side is to be a dream maker! Do not just take- give back! Give to those who are close to you, give to your community and give to your country. Be a multiplier of happiness! Not a divider of it. Add! Don't subtract!

        All of us have done it at one point or another in our life- killed or attempted to kill someone's dreams, or even robbed or downplayed them. It was hard for me to swallow when I realized it about myself. So I changed it. I refuse to be the husband that puts his wife down and belittles her. I refuse to be the father that when my child comes to me with something that excites him or her, I dismiss it! I refuse to be the kind of husband and father who doesn't stand up and defend his family! I refuse to be that and I choose to be a dream maker to those I love.

        Killing or robbing someone of their dreams is easy. It's easy to blow someone off, to roll your eyes, to put them down, to find the negative side to their hopes, their dreams, their passions, their desires, their goals. I refuse to be that person.

        Dream killers and dream robbers will suck the life and happiness out of you. They will make you doubt yourself, your dreams, your goals, and everything you have done, everything you are and everything you're trying to become. Sometimes they don't even realize they're doing it and maybe all it will take is a very blunt talk to change such an attitude.

        Sometimes a blunt talk won't fix it. Sometimes their pride has them built so high up that they say things like "how DARE you talk to me like that! Do you know WHO I am? I have a degree! I have this! I have that! I do this! I do that! I have done this or that for you! I have a career! I know better than YOU!"

        Don't be that person. And if you are dealing with that seek out help, seek advice.  To be torn down and belittled because you don't meet someone's expectations- no matter who they are- is abuse. And never, ever fall for the trap that you're stuck if the dream killer or robber refuses to change.

        I'm not preaching breaking up families or marriages. I'm preaching to be happy. Surround yourself with people who are dream makers. Be a dream maker. If you have a tendency to be a dream killer or dream robber: square yourself away and knock that shit off! If someone comes to you and says "hey, I don't like how you treat me. You belittle me. You make fun of me. You make me feel unimportant. You make me feel bad. You talk behind my back. You make me doubt myself." Take that as your wakeup call.

        Fix yourself.

        Two of the essential keys to happiness is one: who you surround yourself with. And two: how you treat others. And those are two things that ultimately you have control over.

        Whoa, oops! The direction I meant to go with "the board of directors" was one of finding success. You know what though? Success is a biproduct of happiness. Find happiness and you'll find success.

K.I.S.S.

-J. Frasier.

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