#also i know he isn’t talking about maximizing results

[ilsee-ver]

he’s such a fucking liar and i’m so fucking tired of it, red bull the quickest on track and during the entire weekend???

[beevean]

...so wanna rant about Netflix Isaac for a few minutes ? :P

My calm and collected reaction when I read this ask.

I was just debating on how to write about Isaac and N!Isaac (or Abraham, as I prefer to call him). Unlike Hector and N!Hector (Caesar), where I could prove that the latter could have been like the former if not for terrible writing… I simply do not like Abraham. At all. The more I think about him, the more resentful I feel, which I know it’s not fair because 99% of my resentment comes from people shitting on Isaac to prop the guy. I honestly simply wanted to explain why Isaac is deeper than people give him credit for, and leave Abraham aside, since, as we all know, the dude has nearly nothing in common with his canon counterpart.

… but if you ask so nicely :)

So alright. I will primarily talk about my man Isaac, because I love him and he deserves more love; by doing so, I’ll also explain why there was zero need to turn Abraham into Diet Hector :)

Since this first part mainly focuses on the prequels, as a counterpart to Season 2, it’s better to start with the biggest misconception about Isaac, and what almost certainly lead to Abraham becoming what he became: his personality.

To give a summary of Isaac as most fans know him, he’s extremely flamboyant, theatrical, cruel, consumed by hatred, but also intelligent, strong and determined. He doesn’t appear much, but he steals the scene every time he does. He acts in theory as the rival, much like his predecessors Hugh and Maxim, but he’s far more antagonistic than either of them: he’s not a friend to be saved, he’s an enemy to be punished for his crimes. However, much like the other rivals, he’s strictly connected to the protagonist, and the story treats him as a victim in its more important moments.

Kou Sasakura, who was a hired writer, kept herself fairly close to the game: you can tell not only from the accurate Innocent Devils she drew, but because, well, there’s not much difference between her Isaac and the game one. He’s already dressed in his magnificent CoD outfit, he’s pretty much a dick to everyone who isn’t Dracula, he talks about troops of people dying with glee and boasts about embracing the “laws of heresy”: clearly, he has never been particularly sane to begin with. He’s an entertaining asshole, as he should be. That’s not to say he’s completely flat, though: there’s still plenty to say about this version.

Instead it’s Ayami Kojima, who worked directly on the characters (and clearly preferred Isaac), who wrote a mini-arc to actually show what the Curse did to him. And therefore, he starts off quite unlike one would expect. These posts explain how, in Kojima’s interpretation, a non-Cursed Isaac is an honorable warrior who respects Hector even in battle, cares about a fair fight, is just as compassionate towards his Innocent Devils as Hector is, and is even sensitive to his Lord’s plight. He also uses an elegant sword, rather than his iconic and brutal Chauve-Souris. This paints him as an even more tragic character, and gives weight to Julia’s words when she says that “[her] brother is in the venomous grip of the Curse”.

… but of course who even read Prelude to Revenge :^) certainly not our man Ellis :^)

Abraham has none of this. At the start of the series, he’s not charming, nor he has hidden depths. What you see is what you get: a stonefaced, serious, no-nonsense, contemplative man who hates humankind and trusts Dracula without question and beyond reason, the latter being literally the one thing that connects him to the name Isaac. He self-flagellates, which I can only assume it’s meant to reference Isaac’s BDSM aesthetic – Abraham even changes reasons for doing so between Season 2 (a self-focusing discipline, implied to be a result of the abuse he went through) and 3 (a religious practice), before dropping it completely.

On his own, he’s… fine, I just think he’s pretty dull because he has no quirks or anything that makes him stand out, but he didn’t irritate me as Alucard did. I enjoyed his utter trust in Dracula, which makes him far less approachable compared to the manipulable Caesar: notably, poor Godbrand didn’t even finish airing his grievances to him before getting swiftly killed, and never mentioned again. This establishes Abraham as being strong, efficient, fanatical, and even concerned for his Master’s mental wellbeing – no point in telling him what happened, right?

As someone who is presented as being Isaac, he irritates me: he feels scrubbed down, neutered, because Ellis or whoever was responsible for the personality change clearly thought there was nothing salvageable about Isaac, and removed everything that made him iconic save for the simpness. Well, they were wrong.

Isaac doesn’t get a childhood flashback like Hector, but we see the day he found Dracula’s castle, which tells us already his priorities. His past doesn’t really matter: his devotion to his Lord does. His blind loyalty is his defining characteristic.

Look at this little baby, so happy to have finally found a place that can welcome him and his little sister <3 he has no idea what fate has in store for him <3

But yes, Isaac’s very young age in this scene tells us a lot without actually showing us what he went through. Whatever happened to him broke him far more than Hector’s own traumatic childhood: poor kid can’t be older than thirteen, and he’s already bragging that he has turned his back against God.

In CoD, Julia says that she escaped from the witch hunts in Western Europe. We don’t know if she meant in adulthood or childhood. If the latter, then Isaac was probably involved as well.

We also see that he still cares about Julia, and he wants her to come with him. Sadly we don’t know what happened to her afterwards – if we go by their canonical ages, she’d be a very young child here – but she’ll be important later. Presumably, Dracula didn’t want to take in such a young, inexperienced witch, while Isaac’s more cursed powers could already be honed.

The other half of his flashback chapter in the MF manga sets up other important factors:

Isaac is learning to Forge Devils, but he has trouble with stabilizing them: Isaac is talented, but just not enough, and it’s not a surprise that being “stable” is what gives him the most trouble (we can infer Hector never had an issue with that, as he’s more levelheaded than his companion);

The Succubus taunted Isaac that he’d be surpassed by a new boy: this establishes his inferiority complex, and while this never comes fully into play in the same way it does for other rivals, the implication is that he always saw Hector as an adversary, and it bred even more animosity in his easily corruptible heart;

isaac is the gayest man in wallachia seriously have you seen how he looks at hector

So this is Isaac. What about Abraham?

Since Isaac’s childhood is far less defined, Abraham had to get his own unique tragic past. Admittedly, not much to point out here: he used to be the slave of a priest who abused him (because CHURCH BAD), but nonetheless Abraham fell in love with his master, and when he confessed, he got punished for it. After killing him, Abraham spent his life on the run, hunted by other people who wanted to kill him and worse, until Dracula personally rescued him. I like how this, much like the MF flashback, paints Abraham as someone who has the tendency to cling to his masters no matter what; and while I prefer the idea of Hector and Isaac knocking on Dracula’s door, I don’t mind the man himself actually helping Abraham. Indeed, Dracula treating him like an outright friend ensures that Abraham will be 100% devoted to him. (if only Dracula’s good relationship with Abraham didn’t come at the cost of the two of them shitting on Caesar…)

Speaking of Caesar! You can’t talk about Isaac without mentioning his crush relationship with Hector! And how it was turned in NFCV :)

Sadly, both mangas give us meager crumbs of what the two thought of each other before Hector’s betrayal, and they diverge quite a bit.

Not much to say about what very little is shown by the PtR manga: Isaac comes off as friendly… or as friendly as he can be:

That power... Perhaps you can become even scarier and crueler than me…

The two even have something resembling a heart-to-heart conversation: Isaac more or less attempts to calm down Hector when he’s in the middle of a morality crisis, although by downplaying his grievances. If the two were friends, they weren’t close ones, or maybe their different moralities were already driving a wedge between them.

The MF manga emphasizes the resentment Isaac felt for Hector, “from the moment [they] first met”:

When he has the confirmation that Hector is alive and has hidden himself on holy grounds, Isaac is ecstatic to face him, so much that he kills his own underlings to go against Dracula’s express order to bring Hector back to him. He is that determined to not only prove his strength to his Lord, but most importantly to kill the traitor with his own hands.

Of course, things may not be as clear-cut as he pretends to be :) He even tried to spare Hector, allegedly in the name of their Lord, but who knows :)

Yeah, who knows.

And CoD itself, while sadly barely touches on Hector and Isaac’s former relationship, gives us another little gem:

I know that Julia has some kind of divination powers, but this doesn't seem like the kind of information she could garner from them. He told her, didn't he?

I was, as you can imagine, immensely disappointed that Abraham and Caesar’s relationship is barely on the level of “coworkers reluctantly forced to share a building”. Abraham’s lack of respect for Caesar is not endearing at all: he treats him with condescension, he insults him behind his back (and to Dracula’s face, who seems to agree with him, and yet again I must ask why did he choose someone he thinks he’s a complete idiot as a General), but he still has time to make a joke about kissing him which at this point comes off as even inappropriate. Caesar, on his part, seems to ignore his existence until Carmilla reminds him of the fact. Not only this complete lack of chemistry is utterly boring, and doesn’t take advantage of the potential differences between the two characters, but it becomes a characterization issue later on.

This all culminates in the fateful moment when Hector and Isaac fight right outside the Castle, freedom and loyalty clashing! And its NFCV equivalent, which has Caesar being dragged against his will into Carmilla’s assault of the castle, and Abraham being yeeted away by Dracula. Yeah, the two don’t fight at all. Because why have a compelling relationship in this show when you can rely on snarky one-liners.

The exact events of the fight differ between the two versions, but they hardly matter in the long run. What matter is that the two fought to the death, Hector emerged superior, and Isaac discovered to his immense horror that, without him and Hector guarding the castle, Trevor Belmont and the others managed to slay Dracula.

Both versions are heartwrenching.

Not only the Curse that Dracula cast upon his death already reached his Generals, but Isaac had a full mental breakdown. You can tell he’s blaming himself for not protecting his Lord, and laments that he has to live without him – Lord Dracula was everything to him, and now that he has failed him to this degree, what else has he to live for?

Why, Hector himself. He can blame him. He was the one who ran away, he was the reason Dracula had to send Isaac in his pursuit. Sure, the Belmont is the one who physically dealt the killing blow, but maybe, if Hector remained loyal, the two could have defeated him together. Even in CoD, Isaac doesn’t direct his fury at Trevor (in fact, in the Japanese version, he even compliments him), because Isaac’s main concern isn’t not him: it’s his former friend who turned his back on him and their Lord.

And what can I even say about this masterpiece from PtR?

I won't let you say that your rebellion has nothing to do with this! Had you cut off my head as well, I would not have seen this… Hector!

Isaac crawled back in shame using his broken sword as a cane, fully expecting to be punished by Dracula for once again proving how inferior he was to Hector. He did not expect to come back to this.

Not only Hector deliberately left Isaac alive, which comes off as a humiliation (interesting contraposition to the MF version, where it’s Isaac who grants Hector mercy in the name of Dracula – they will both regret their decision)… these pages really convey just how much Hector’s defection has taken away from Isaac. In one fell swoop, he has lost his beloved Lord, the only place he could call home, the closest thing he had to a friend, and the work of his lifetime. Is it any wonder that even in this version, he seems to regret that he has to live? Is it any wonder that he’d be fueled for three years with pure hatred for Hector?

In short, Isaac has every single understandable reason in the world for wanting Hector dead.

What’s Abraham’s reason?

First of all, Abraham is, technically speaking, also partially responsible for the fall of Dracula’s castle. While Isaac lost everything through no fault of his own (yes, he killed his underlings in the MF manga and that’s fucked up, but that did not influence the chain of events at all), Abraham was also roped by Caesar into asking Dracula to move the castle under Carmilla’s request. His first reason for agreeing was even “it will stop her from making mischief”, which is a nice way to say “Iook I just want her to shut the fuck up”. Agreeable, surely, but I feel less sorry for him.

But that’s not the issue. The issue is that the Hector vs. Isaac fight simply did not happen, because Caesar did not flee on his own (because he was prevented from having agency), so Abraham was sent away by Dracula when the assault started, out of concern for his soul (or because Dracula wanted to die in peace), and Abraham only knew that Trevor, Sypha, Alucard and the Styrian forces were attacking, not that Caesar was involved.

Thematically, I like that Abraham chose to die for Dracula, but Dracula denied him the choice. He’s a tool, and he’s not even allowed to die on his own terms – much like Isaac, who was forced to live. But I’m still not satisfied.

So, Abraham gave zero shits about Caesar, knew that Carmilla was bad news from the start (but still agreed to her idea), didn’t actually see how the battle ended, actually saw Trevor and the others storm in with his own eyes, and didn’t know that Caesar “betrayed” Dracula.

Why in the fuck is he so pissed at Caesar? What weight does his revenge plan have?

This is what happens when you shoehorn a plot point you read on the wiki without understanding the context. Abraham by all means should either blame himself, or blame Carmilla exclusively. His animosity makes far less sense, and I don’t feel as sorry for him.

On top of this, his loss doesn’t feel as severe. Yes, he was separated from his Lord/friend and the castle, but he still had his immense power (even his Forging knife; he didn’t even have to, for example, find himself another weapon while living vulnerable in the meantime), and he actually has lived in the desert before, meaning he knows how to move and what to do. He also is not afraid of travelling among humans, while Isaac couldn’t let himself be seen even if he wanted to (he looks very visibly “wrong” for the average Middle Age person, and that’s not including the possibility that he was known in Wallachia). He did not lose his entire life: there is simply a big obstacle in his way.

Before I move on, two interesting scenes to compare are the different versions of the Hector vs. Isaac fight, mostly for what the latter says.

In the PtR manga, Isaac seems to be genuinely resentful of how humankind treated him:

Were we known in the human world, we would be chased away with stones… A place where we can exist… a place to cling to… Where was it?!

This is fairly in line with what you would expect from him: humans hated him, so he hates human in return, and this is why he’s outraged that Hector would even dare to turn his back to their Lord.

But the MF version has a slightly different flavor:

I pointed out different times that Isaac seems to put more focus on how humans did not respect Dracula enough than how they were cruel towards Hector and him. And indeed, Isaac rarely if ever expresses outright misanthropic views, in the same way Dracula does. This is a more interesting approach, in my opinion: Isaac genuinely doesn’t care about mankind, he’s not motivated by spite against them, he’s only motivated by the love and gratitude he feels for the first creature who showed him respect. And if said creature orders him to slaughter humans, oh well.

I have already talked extensively about Isaac’s “tool” mentality, so I won’t repeat myself. Long story short, Isaac nearly dehumanizing himself and refusing to have his own agency outside of Lord Dracula acts as a contrast to Hector, whose main goal is to gain agency over his own life.

Needless to say, Abraham gets this only halfway through. Yes, he also starts the series believing to be Dracula’s tool. Unlike Isaac, though, he spends two season unable to shut up about how much he despises mankind and considers them the root of all evil and believes that by exterminating mankind the world will be full of love. His dialogue gets incredibly repetitive in no time flat. Abraham is not endearing: he's pretentious.

So I suppose it’s time to jump to the three years between CV3 and CoD/Season 3.

In short, my man Isaac is not coping well with the divorce :’D

This post by @the-crow-binary is a great breakdown of Isaac’s mental state in the MF manga. The Curse has taken a hold of him already, and he’s ranting, obsessed, shaking in fear and rage: an absolute mess.

Still better than how we find him in PtR:

Mmh… So you can make that kind of face… I've gotten a lot better too... How many times has the moon waxed and waned, I wonder? That’s a nice expression… I'm happy. Good pain is proof of life. I won't grant you the peace of death so easily: live, spit blood, and then…

Lord Dracula is with us!

As I have pointed out, in this version, Isaac rotted the entire time completely alone in the ruins of his old home, easy prey for the Curse. He had nowhere else to go, and apparently he didn’t consider to find his sister again. Anyone would have gone mad, even without Dracula's help.

(side note, I love love love how this manga justifies Isaac's iconic outfit by showing that Hector ruined it first, and then Isaac let it fall off his body, no longer in the conditions to care:

Hector broke Isaac's outfit. Hector broke Isaac's mind and heart. It's so interesting how Hector truly is the villain in Isaac's story <3)

And speaking of broken heart! I'd be remiss if I didn't mention this small detail of Isaac writing Hector's name on the sole of his boot. Whether you interpret it as a hex or him expressing twisted romantic feelings, one thing's for certain: Hector is at the forefront of Isaac's thoughts. I cannot stress enough how personal Isaac's revenge is, much like Hector's own revenge quest will be.

This is how we feel the weight of his devious plan to get revenge on the man who took everything away from him, by taking his hard-earned happiness away as well.

So how’s Abraham doing?

This is the part of the show where he turns from secondary antagonist to full protagonist and darling of the narrative.

Season 3 is where Abraham supposedly starts his super compelling character arc, moving away from being Dracula’s tool and giving himself a new purpose. Allegedly, his ingrained misanthropy gets constantly challenged by actually experiencing human kindness, although sadly the lessons don’t quite stick. On paper, this sounds very intriguing, not unlike Hector learning what love is thanks to Rosaly (hint hint). However, I find the execution laughable at best, and irritating at worst.

This is what Abraham does in this season. He decides that he wants a big army, which means killing humans. He travels. He meets a kind shopkeeper that gifts him a mirror that tells him where to go next. He’s stopped by guards because he has an army of demons: Abraham is sad that they’re not as kind as the previous person and kills them. He travels. He boards a ship with an intriguing captain, who manages to tell him that committing human genocide would deprive the world of happiness. He’s stopped by guards because he has an army of demons: Abraham is sad that they’re not as kind as the previous person and kills them. He travels. He talks with a philosopher demon who tells him that CHURCH BAD. He meets a woman that tells him where to go next. He kills a bunch of people and kills a magician.

This is… not really an arc. Abraham allegedly takes one step forward, and then immediately one step back. He doesn’t get better nor worse. He just talks a lot in the meantime pretending to be deep.

Now, I do like the scenes with the shopkeeper and the captain, those two are well written; I also like Miranda as a look on what Abraham could become if he gets consumed by despair, ironically acting as the Isaac to Abraham’s Hector (hint hint). But this scene, one of the most popular ones for Abraham, pisses me off.

Abraham wants to travel with a giant army of demons in tow. The guards insist that he must turn back because, well, giant army of demons. This is literally the second time in a row that this happens, hence the famous “is this the definition of insanity?” quote. Oh, but not because Abraham is stupid in expecting that humans would move out for him, but because poor thing, he really had hopes that humans could be good, but no, they keep hurting him! By doing their job! Oh no, they are slightly aggressive to the dark wizard who can control demons, how awful of them!

Sure, Abraham is correct in saying that he literally can’t turn back because he’s at the harbor, and yes the guards had no chance against Abraham, but the way this scene is framed, we’re supposed to feel sorry that poor little Abraham got confirmation that all humans are stupid and evil after all, and really, is it any wonder that he snapped and killed them all?

This is what Isaac would do. Slaughtering a bunch of humans because they were “fucking rude” to him? It’s just as cartoonishly evil as Abraham fans accuse Isaac of being. Except that in his case, it would be clear that he’s batshit insane, and not in the philosophical way Abraham pretends to be.

Abraham ends Season 3 in the same place where he started, and I have no idea how he managed to become this popular.

Most insultingly, Abraham isn’t allowed to lose. Abraham isn’t allowed to be set back. In the season where every character suffers, is traumatized, or loses something (Caesar and Alucard being by far the worst victims), Abraham ends the season happily killing brainwashed people to then kill a generic magician to get to a magic mirror that would lead him directly to his destination, along with the army of demons that he created by killing people, after a lady he happened to meet told him about the existence of said mirror.

People in NFCV can smell magic? Well, I can smell favoritism.

But okay, he’s still a bad guy, right? I’m not meant to sympathize with him, right? I’m just in for the ride because he’s “cool”, right?

Enter CoD/Season 4.

You, who gave up your powers and became the lowest of the low, nothing but mere scum.

Sadly, CoD has a severe dearth of Isaac appearances, after the iconic first cutscene. He is as I described him in the beginning: an utter bastard. However, I appreciate his overall plan that sets up the whole plot.

There is a lot of speculation and holes-filling to do here (I suspect he had Death’s help, at least when it came to the Infinite Corridor part of the plan, but we have no proof), but the point is, he has all the means to inflict a most terrible punishment on Hector, by taking advantage of the Curse that he’s spreading and that consumed him, and also by taking advantage of Hector himself. The two knew each other well: Isaac knew that Hector would be unstoppable in his quest for revenge, to the point that he felt confident enough to spell out his plan, which is to guide Hector so that he can regain his cursed powers (even drawing schemes to explain how to Forge, which is hilarious when you think about it). What would Hector do anyway, give up? That’s not like him. Isaac knows this. The only part he omits is that he needs those immense powers not just to make their fateful match worth it, but to break the seal that prevents the castle from resurrecting. A very clever spin on the classic “get stronger so that our fight will be worth it” plan.

(contrast this well-thought out plan with Abraham getting everything he wants on a silver platter.)

We also get a cute moment where he retreats at the sight of Julia, almost as if he was afraid of hurting her, implying that he can feel more than smugness and rage.

Sadly, the end of his story is not a happy one. By the time he faces Hector like he wanted, his former friend is absolutely livid that he had been played like a fiddle… and more important, he regained all of his strength. Which was more than Isaac’s. Oops, that part wasn’t very well thought-out. But it’s not Hector who kills him: he saves himself from the Curse taking complete hold of him just in the nick of time. No, it’s Death, who decides to use the “other one” (even making fun of him in the process) to resurrect Dracula. Either the ritual or Hector slashing his possessed body to pieces puts an end to Isaac’s madness. Despite Julia’s best wishes, Isaac never rose from the darkness that consumed him. He constantly chose loyalty to Dracula and hatred, and that doomed him. Furthermore, his own name acted as an omen: much like the Biblical Isaac, he was set to be sacrificed in the name of the closest thing to a God he worshipped.

As for Abraham… at this point in his arc, it’s pointless to compare him to Isaac, because he has officially turned into Hector. By reversing Isaac’s downfall, the writers accidentally recreated Hector’s character arc of finding agency for himself, killing the person responsible for his pain (well, he wants to, but Carmilla in true #girlboss fashion peaces out on her own terms), and then moving on from Dracula, accepting to live in full. It’s. It’s Hector. Except worse.

What else can I say? Abraham got his revelation off screen, during a time-skip: now he wants to create, to do good in the world like when he killed the evil magician. He sets out to invade Styria to kill Caesar, but then changes his mind at the last second, and even tells him to not go with his plan of resurrecting Dracula. No internal struggle, just a ton of words. No mention of all the people he has gleefully killed for petty reasons. No remorse at all. Not an obstacle he had to overcome. Not even an ounce of self-loathing that at least made Hector more sympathetic. Abraham fails at being a good reinterpretation of Isaac, and fails at being an interesting anti-hero with a solid journey.

To be clear, I'm not saying he should have died like Isaac. Again, at this point I accept that he became Hector. But his happiness simply doesn't feel earned. He got what he wanted after a fairly small loss (Dracula died, sure, but he never got confirmation for that), and he had his character development offscreen. His narrative is a rushed version of what Hector was allowed to be through two mangas and a game, and yet he's the one hailed as the best character of all time.

Just to cap it off, I can’t help but complain about how dull and forgettable Abraham’s design is. He’s literally just a man who walked into the set and stole Isaac’s full Devil Forgemaster outfit. There is no reason for him to be associated with red (his magic), since the Red Oni Blue Oni dynamic with Caesar has been lost. His tattoos do not convey anything, and we rarely see them in full anyway. Also why does he have a different crest on his back???? IT'S A UNIFORM! It drives me mad! At least try to understand the source material for fuck's sake!

Isaac is iconic. He’s immediately recognizable in the Castlevania cast, but still fitting in thanks to key elements. He doesn’t look fully human, with his bright red hair and yellowish eyes: he doesn’t have the typical Kojima pretty face, but he has more distinguishable features such as a big nose: the tattoos tell a whole story about him and it’s fun to imagine what they symbolize – high pain tolerance? A desire to defile his own body to spite God? Some arcane symbol, the result of a ritual? And then there’s the Devil Forgemaster crest forever embedded in his back, representing his full devotion and the fate he could not escape from. He truly looks like everything Hector isn't.

This post got long. And again, I didn't even care to talk about Abraham, because I don't like him one bit and because I love Isaac independently from this overhyped character. But hey, you asked, and I ranted with great pleasure :P

also have this absolute banger

does abraham have a sick ass theme? yeah didn't think so

[michellepamelalyons]

On Trans Issues, Comedy, Bigotry, and Growing The Fuck Up – or, Could You Stop Focusing On My Genitals And Just Listen To Me?

A while ago now – it was only just over a year back, but the internet makes it feel longer – the singer Sam Smith got a tattoo on their arm. This is how People Magazine in America described it: “The design depicts a young person standing in front of a mirror in tighty whitey underwear and high heels”.

The tattoo unintentionally acted as a kind of Rorschach test. For your usual right wing types, it was clearly some sort of dangerous pornography. Yet to me, and many others, we instantly realised what it was about. And while it was meant as an expression of Smith’s non-binary identity and their discomfort with various aspects of gender, I also saw a very trans melancholy in this image.

That kid was me at one point. There is zero prurience about that tattoo, it just happens to reflect an experience that happened to many of us trans women when we were younger. A slowly dawning realisation that all was not right, and that a mistake had been made before we’d even been properly born.

For me, this period didn’t last long – “a phase”, some would have said in relieved tones, if I’d admitted to it at the time. And the key word there is “admitted” – this was seen, through the social mores of the 1980s / 1990s, as some kind of aberration rather than an initial clumsy attempt to correct a mistake. I certainly was aware at that young age of how adults viewed people like me. Trans people were the universal butt of the joke in all media, the safest of safe targets. In some ways, that remains the case.

And while I have always loved comedy, comedy has not always loved me. Off the top of my head – the entirety of the ending of the first Ace Ventura movie; the bit in Crocodile Dundee where Paul Hogan assaults a trans women for laughs; John Cleese pontificating that he knows what’s what about trans women in Life Of Brian. (In October 2022, it was announced that the grim hard-right British news channel GB News had signed up Cleese to provide regular commentaries on “wokeness”.)

So it’s not a surprise, given the judgement of those famous men I looked up to, that what should have been a necessary breakthrough became a “phase”. I did not tell anyone. I pushed this right down into a vault in my mind, locked it up and threw away the proverbial key. You remember that bit in The Simpsons where Marge talks about compressing all her anger and anxieties into “a little ball”, the implication being that this isn���t healthy? Basically that.

I was so far in the closet, I refused to even acknowledge the presence of any closets within a five mile radius of myself; it genuinely did odd things to my mind. Talking about this period of my life, my early teens, is still difficult for me. But to outline the mess as simply as I can: I essentially became a proto-incel. The attempts to fit in, be a man, and appear "normal" only resulted in fucking me up. I actually remember thinking things like, I’m a nice guy. Why don’t girls like me? I regarded such dumb statements as truisms. I wondered if I should shave my head, take up body building, wear those horrible lime green shirts that every tosser in the land seemed to have back then. And the punchline was that I was a girl all along.

But what hope was there for me in those supposedly halcyon days of Maxim Magazine, Alex James’s leering face and Section 28? Is it any wonder that that kind of thing quickly rotted into the mulch from which the alt-right sprang? It nearly claimed me as one of them. And it took me years, even after leaving the toxic wasteland that was my high school, to fully shake off those evil messages. Some of it even lingered long into my initial phases of my being a Youtuber. There are some videos I put up on the platform when I was an adult that have me wincing when I see them now.

Looking back there are so many clues, and so many of them tied to TV shows or cartoons or movies or video games. I remember playing the arcade game Gauntlet as a young child, and being overwhelmed with the realisation that I could be a woman in the game. I loved the series of sketches in the Saturday morning show No. 73 about “Jane Bond”, a gender-flipped James played by future film director Andrea Arnold. I enjoyed a rental VHS of the Rainbow Brite movie so much that I tried taking a picture of the cover with my Dad’s Polaroid, just so I had a memento of it when it went back to the shop.

These are not necessarily the most feminist things in the world (with the notable exception of the second), but that was what was on offer to girls back then, and I devoured it when I could. I didn’t think of it in explicitly trans terms, or as anything – it was just stuff I liked. But I already knew enough not to mention it to the boys I was friends with. Of course I did.

Without even trying to, without breaking a sweat, society around me hammered me down into something that was universally felt to be “correct”. In doing so, it nearly destroyed me.

And now because people have realised how wrong this is, and that many other things in this world are equally hideous – the repulsive cycle of racism, the arrogance of those in power, the broken news media of the UK and US - naturally there has been a pushback. A well-funded, deeply sinister pushback.

(From this point in, bear in mind I'm talking from a mainly British perspective. I don't know enough to talk authoritatively about these issues in non-anglosphere countries, so I won't presume to pretend otherwise.)

The funny thing is that I genuinely don’t think some of the actors and comedians taking part in this lunacy realise that they’re being bad in any sense, or are being played. They seem to have accepted what some in the comedy world and the rest of the media have told them – that we’re humourless, we’re the actual fascists, we hate free speech, etc etc etc… it’s the old 1990s complacency at work, leading to all those deals with the devil.

Simply being part of the generation that produced punk, rave and grunge has fooled many into thinking that they could never be the 2020s equivalent of those crusty old people who railed against anything with long hair in the 1960s. But they are those people now. They may have dyed hair in primary colours, wear fashionable clothes, or even go skateboarding or some bloody thing, but they’re ultimately 21st Century equivalents of Disgusted Of Tunbridge Wells. There are times when I am deeply embarrassed to be part of Generation X.

These people, these heroes of mine, fail to notice that the people they sidle up to don’t want genuine “debate”. They just want to silence all dissenting views, and to get to say (and do) whatever they like, no matter how vile, without any comeback from those pesky minorities. The right wing pretense of caring about free speech is being used as a method to dismantle free speech. Any kind of actual debate where people listen to each other can’t be allowed to happen. Why else are we never asked onto Radio 4 to talk on the Today programme or Women’s Hour? And even if we were, we’d be shouted down within seconds.

And why is it that any old bastard on the right, if their stupidity is revealed and gets them supposedly “cancelled”, then gets to embark on a whistle-stop tour of every news outlet in the country? How come after being “silenced”, they’re on Good Morning Britain whining away with the full support of the show? How come they always end up somewhere else, still spouting their claptrap, still in business? We already know the answer.

Simply by existing the way that I want to, I end up butting heads with the most dangerous people in society. They may not know my name, but they want me dead. There’s a notorious noise music album called “The Right To Kill”, which basically sums up their entire world-view. It was an album born from a place of deep idiocy and cowardice, despite the creator’s continued attempts at intellectualizing and explaining away the record. Personally, I just want the right to fucking exist.

I do not want to take part in a “culture war”. I do not want the evil and madness to continue. I do not want people to suffer. I do not want people to die. I want to live.

It gets so much at times that I almost forget there is still joy in this world, and that there is also joy to be had in simply being my true self. When I turn off the news feed (or rather, the spurting bubbling gutter that pours sewage into our minds), I get to live again. The human car alarms are out of earshot and I can just exist, and I can dream. Like the actual, literal dream I had the morning I wrote this, which prompted the creation of this post you’ve been reading.

The complete and unexpurgated “plot” of the dream isn’t important – anyone’s subconscious always seems to be really invested in supplying endless and absurd curveballs - but there was something very obviously significant during one part of this particular image-jumble. So, to summarize...

...I was standing on a train platform. My family were around me, as in the dream we were all returning from a holiday. We were deep in the countryside, and we were trying to get back as soon as possible to our house in the suburbs near London. And then, of course, I noticed my family had all disappeared.

It’s a typical thing to happen in dreams. Everyone who has ever fallen asleep has dreamed this, countless times. Panicked, I started to call out for them, wondering where the hell they’d got to. Eventually, the first two members of my family re-appeared. The first was my Mum. She looked confused, and asked me what was wrong. And the second person was me.

Only, it wasn’t me at all – it was my past self. My faux-teenage-boy self from about twenty five years ago. An avatar once used in real life, that hid, shielded, and poisoned me. There wasn’t a hint of recognition in his eyes, no trace of understanding that I was who he had to become; no disgust, confusion, anger, evil amusement – he just looked at me. Who’s this woman? Why is she shouting? Does she know my Mum?

And then, as the rest of my family returned, he vanished.

[abeautifulblog]

MOAR costuming shenanigans

So @grison-in-space got a follow-up comment to that viral post...

...and then she tagged me in, so OH BOY, here we go!!

(Here’s the photo set so you can follow along at home.)

I didn't weigh in on the last round of the joey vs. hcav costuming-optical-illusions debate, because I know nuffink about theatre stuff, but now we're talking about SUITS and gremble can talk about suits. :D

Okay, so—there were two things that IMMEDIATELY jumped out at me:

#1: GORGE, a.k.a. how low is the V down the front of your chest? One of these creates the impression of less chest, and one of them gives the impression of MOAR CHEST!!!

Joey is wearing a waistcoat (fashion-forward choice, I dig it 👌), which gives him a very high gorge. Meanwhile, hcav's two-button suit creates a substantially lower gorge, maximizing the amount of chest he has on display. It is, for anyone who knows about men's fashion, a mildly conspicuous choice here, because the two-button suit is generally the province of younger men. It reads as more fashion-conscious, and hcav is admittedly a movie star, but I daresay the default choice for someone of his age and height/build would be a three-button suit—

🚨🚨 KILL BILL SIRENS 🚨🚨

OH. OH. OHHHHH.

So I went back and double-checked that photoset to make sure I was counting his buttons correctly (because the watermark was making it hard to see in that pic), and it turns I wasn't—

—because hcav isn't wearing a two-button suit, he is wearing a goddamned ONE-BUTTON SUIT, which.

What the FUCK. What EVEN.

You can no longer pretend this was an accident.

Deep breaths.

Okay, so:

Three-button suits are the standard, the default, the thoroughly unremarkable option. You can wear them open, or you can do up the top two buttons. When wearing a suit jacket, the lowest button is always left unbuttoned, full stop; it is purely decorative. (You’ll notice that Joey is wearing his waistcoat correctly by leaving the bottom button undone.)

I'm not sure when two-button suits went mainstream, but they definitely enjoyed a renaissance with the “metrosexual” trend of the late 90's/early 2000s. They can be part of a full suit, or just tossed on over a t-shirt and jeans. By virtue of the lower gorge, they look less stuffy than a three-button suit—more casual and lived-in, perhaps more athletic. Even people who aren’t consciously aware of the two-button/three-button distinction can nonetheless feel the vibe difference between them.

Meanwhile, one-button suits are.

Uhm.

Not to put too fine a point on it, but—

For women.

Women's white-collar wear, hampered as it is by the conflicting directives of “do all the same power-signaling stuff that menswear does, but do it suited to a female body, and also be sexy~~!!” results in... norms that are far less standardized than white-collar menswear.

Womenswear invented one-button suits, because they are power-signaling while fitting better to female curves. One-button suits, on women, will give the same LIKE A BOSS profile that two- or three-button suits give men.

But one-button suits on men are so rare that they're practically a mutation that doesn't occur in the wild.

Like, for people who aren't nerds for men's fashion, I'm pretty sure I can't convey to you just how fucking weird it is to see hcav in a one-button suit. Like. This is akin to watching him walk out onto the red carpet in a thong. You’d have to go out of your way to even FIND a one-button suit for men. This was not an accident.

Someone—and I seriously doubt it was hcav himself, considering that his 'brand' is a conservative, conventional sort of masculinity—picked out a one-button suit that lowered his gorge practically to his navel in order to put all that chest on display.

And as I'd pointed out to grison in groupchat—hcav's jacket is too small in the torso. That crease you can see coming off the button, and the way his lapels are spreading across his pecs? Means it's too tight. Which is also contributing to the impression that his manly busom is so huge that it is BURSTING to be free of this cruel prison. If hcav were wearing a suit that actually fit his frame, his physique would be far less noticeable.

(An aside: This is, in fact, the entire point of men's suits. With the right fit, they will make literally any body appear to be the conventional mesomorphic ideal. They are designed to make average dudes look like hcav; when they get an actual hcav, they are playing down his musculature.)

But yeah. Gorge. It's a thing.

#2 thing that jumped out at me was the width of their ties:

And while we're at it, the width of their lapels and collars too, because these elements tend to coordinate across an outfit. Joey's everything is very slim, from his tie and lapels, to the cut of his sleeves and trousers—and what that reads as, very distinctly, is a young man's look.

In fact, everything about Joey's look signals “young man who knows and cares about fashion,” because nothing about his suit is the standard/conventional choice. Super-slim fit. Three-quarter length jacket in contrasting fabric. (With weird buttoning pattern.) Waistcoat. Peak lapels. Clipped collar points. Highwater cuffs. He's wearing a suit, but it's a fashion suit not a corporate suit. Every element of that outfit is a marked deviation from the default.

(And as @redhorsedawn pointed out in the original costuming post, the open jacket also serves to obscure the shape of Joey's torso, by suggesting that the width of his hips goes straight up.)

Meanwhile, hcav's dressed like he's auditioning for a Mitt Romney biopic. Everything about his suit is subtly (or not-so-subtly) cut to emphasize width. The tie. The lapels. That collar that's spreading so fucking wide it's taking up three seats on the bus. And while his suit is tight around the torso, it is cut very loose in the sleeves and mirrored in the loose cut of his trousers (I jacked the contrast down to make it easier to see):

(Incidentally, both of their jackets are too wide at the shoulder, but that’s neither here nor there.)

Except for that weird one-button, hcav's suit is very much that of a businessman/politician—conventional design, with nothing that pushes the envelope like Joey’s outfit, and cut to enhance the impression of breadth and age.

If you still don't believe me, here, have hcav vs. hcav-in-a-suit-that-fits-him:

Higher gorge, slimmer tie and collar, looser torso, closer fit in the sleeves and trousers. Bam.

In conclusion, whoever picked out their red-carpet looks for this event was deliberately doing everything in their power to make Joey look young and skinny and metrosexual, and hcav look broad and powerful and mature. (lol, sound familiar?) But it is, in fact, more lies and trickery and optical illusions, just like in the show.

(For people who would like further resources on how to become a nerd for men’s fashion, I recommend Alan Flusser’s Dressing the Man.)

(lol and tagging you in this @hellotailor​ cuz it’s your wheelhouse)

[edgysaintjust]

Hi i'm new in this fandom and i don't know much about frev. I was wondering: during Thermidor, the night before being executed, robespierre lied wounded on a table in a room of CPS, but are there any record about saint just's behaviour in these moments. i mean, i know he was not wounded, but i was asking if he was in the same room, stood next to maxime, said something to him (?)

Hello! Actually we have witnesses who remember the night of 9th Thermidor, so also their reports. We're lucky to know how his last hours looked like in general.

After the storming of the city hall, cause that's what seems to have caught your interest, Saint-just, along with Dumas and Payan were put in one room with the heavily injured Robespierre. While the incorruptible was laid on the table, bleeding out and with an ammunition box as a “pillow”, the three men were told to sit still in a bay by a window of the same room.

Morton reports that at some point during the time Saint-Just was waiting here, the crowd moved aside to “let him see his king” and see what he’d do; and Saint-Just simply came over to the table on which his friend was laying, sat by his side and waited until they were possibly separated at dawn. He isn’t said to talk much during that time, but some report he straightened up while looking at the copy of the constitution of ‘93 hanging on the wall. He might have said something similar to the famous “at least we have accomplished something”, as it was reported by a witness. Most of the night he spent in silence, accompanying his half conscious friend and providing him the only comfort he could.

According to Barras (haha, yeah… controversial source but still) SJ tried to offer some help to his friend, who was surrounded by an unfriendly crowd of the previous attackers; we have anonymous reports of eyewitnesses of how Antoine acted during those hours before he was possibly taken away from here to the Conciergerie.

The eyewitness, to whom we owe the details including the part about the constitution, reports that Saint-Just made a "dejected" impression at this point and that his "enlarged eyes expressed grief. " It is likely that it was a moment he allowed himself to show some weakness and break the stoic, calm posture, and no wonder if it happened. Otherwise, he remained nostalgic and quiet for the rest of the night. Offered a glass of water, he took a sip and returned it right after, responding with a simple ‘merci’.

We have few versions of what happened later; according to Sainte-Claire Deville the prisoners were not brought into the Conciergerie until about 11 in the morning, all together. In the Faits recueillis, however, it is reported that Saint-Just, Dumas and Payan were taken away first, way before the rest. It seems it would happen around six in the morning, before robespierre had received medical care in the city hall. The second version is more reliable and supported by the oficial files, which claim that SJ and two previously mentioned men were not reported to arrive along with the other ones late in the morning. There is no wonder he had been separated from the injured ones.

Then, following this scenario, along with Couthon and his younger brother robespierre was transferred to the Conciergerie too, but later in the morning. There, they awaited the execution and were put before the tribunal; due to their "hors-la-loi" declaration, no verdict of the revolutionary tribunal was required for their execution, but their identity had to be confirmed by it beforehand.

Right before the execution carts of prisoners had to constantly stop to get through the crowds of people gathered to watch the “show”, and the ride was long and tiring, especially for those suffering from heavier injuries. Not realising how miserable the results of Thermidor are, or simply not letting it out, people cheered for the execution, insulted and mocked the sentenced on their way to the guillotine. SJ was sadly separated from his most beloved friends again, quietly observing the crowd. He was executed before robespierre and is said to walk up the scaffold devoting his last ‘adieu’ to him.

[zensharks]

rfa love languages

summary: what each of the rfa members’ love languages would be (words of affirmation, qulaity time, physical touch, acts of service, receiving gifts)

characters: jumin han, zen/hyun ryu, yoosung kim, jaehee kang, 707/saeyoung choi

a/n: as i finish the other routes there may be an updated version to this coming, including v, saeran, and possibly vanderwood :]

warnings: none ^^ 

wc: 1.5k

- - - - - - - - - - -

jumin han

giving and receiving gifts

rich mf-

he’s used to receiving gifts from his father every time he meets with him

whenever jumin sees you he’ll often have picked something up for you - small gifts that show his attentiveness and how much he cares for you

despite opening up to you much more over time he’s still wary with emotions and communication, so he shows his love by paying attention to the things you like ^^

when the two of you are out together he pays very close attention - he’ll pick up on it every time you point out something you like

(he keeps a note for these types of things)

jumin can spend hours (and i mean hours) picking out gifts for you

he often second-guesses whether he has the right idea, although it always seems to work out no matter what he chooses

quality time

jumin’s life is 90 percent work

(much to his dismay)

he’s come to terms with this as a fact, but he has a slight bitterness to this since it limits the amount of time he can spend with you

when you are together, though, his attention is only on you; work takes a backseat 

he understands that he can’t be with you all the time so when he can, he spends the time focusing only on you

you are jumin’s top priority (with elizabeth at a very close second) - even during work hours he’ll check in on you occasionally just to make sure that you’re okay

he also offers to take you on all of his business trips, he secretly feels very guilty about the frequency of these outings 

(maybe not so secretly - when it comes to you he finds it harder to hide his emotions, and he’s still not fully sure why)

zen/hyun ryu 

physical touch

very close to you. very.

this man clings to you like a puppy-

personal space? don’t count on it

(unless you ask ofc)

whether it’s holding your hand while in public, pulling you tight to him while the two of you watch tv, or holding one of his hands over yours as you sit behind him on his bike, zen always likes to be able to feel that you’re with him

when you’re having an off day it’s easy for him to tell, he’ll sit down next to you and hold his hands tightly over yours so as to reassure you that he’ll be there for you in any way he can

soft traces of his fingertips on your hand when the two of you are close :]

zen speaks through touch, saying “i love you” by pulling you into a tight embrace every time he sees you, one of his hands always holding the back of your head close into his neck

but when you hug him first--

he melts into your arms whenever you’re the first to make a move

physical touch is his expression of love, so when you return the gesture he’s reminded how much you care for him  

words of affirmation

calls you pet names alllllll the time

he’s always telling you how proud of you he is and how much he appreciates having you in his life

zen worries that you don’t feel like you deserve him or that you aren’t on the same level as him, so he constantly reassures you that you are the only one he wants 

he still doubts himself often, convincing himself that he’s only offered the opportunities he is because of his looks

reassuring him that he’s valued for many reasons apart from face value is the ultimate comfort for zen

when he’s away at a shoot that he wasn’t able to take you to, you can be sure that zen will be calling you every night that he’s away

he’ll text you telling you to not pick up the phone, just so that he can leave voicemails for you to listen to when you miss him ^^

- - - -

zen’s love languages being both touch and words of affirmation often results in the two of you wrapped up in each other, filling the silence every now and then with quiet whispers of how much you love each other 

yoosung kim 

quality time

he’ll often have you over for days on end, not wanting to let you go

you’re the only person that takes top priority over lolol :>

he’d never make you watch him play unless you asked, yoosung always gives you his undivided attention when you’re together

this man really maximizes the time you spend together

he looks at you when you speak as if he’ll forget your face when you leave

there used to be a hint of worry in his expression as he listened to you, but it faded over time as he realized that you won’t be going anywhere

his face lights up when you show up at his door unannounced, no matter the circumstance yoosung is always glad to take time out of his day to spend it with you

words of affirmation

along with quality time, he feels truly loved when you tell him

maybe not directly, but reminding him that he can trust you and that you’re proud of him makes his face flush like nothing else 

yoosung still doubts himself a lot and struggles with finding a sense of direction, so he feels a great sense of comfort when you reassure him that there’s always time to figure it out 

in all the time you spend together, the space is often filled with these small reminders for each other - yoosung feels most loved through words of affirmation so he does everything he can to return that to you

he’ll often tell you how much he appreciates and values you, you have a huge place in his heart and he needs you to know ^^

jaehee kang

acts of service

jaehee my beloved-

this woman knows work.

she’s familiar with doing tasks for others due to her job

because of her busy schedule and workload, she understands the value of helping others and showing you care through helping and completing small tasks for them 

jaehee bakes for you ehe ^^

if you were to live with jaehee, you would often be welcomed home by your favourite dessert waiting for you

it’s her favourite way of showing love - she knows exactly what you like and finds joy in making small treats for you, knowing that you’ll appreciate it

(seriously, how does she have the time)

unlike professional work, nothing that jaehee does for you tires her

the look of appreciation on your face when you return home makes it all worth it

this doesn’t only apply to her helping you out, though - 

you know that she has a heavy workload, so before she gets home for the night you often choose to complete all the mundane house chores for her (washing the dishes, making the bed, etc etc)

it’s always the same - “you didn’t need to do all this for me, it’s okay”

(she secretly appreciates it though - you can see jaehee’s expression shining underneath a suppressed smile)

she’s used to having all the work be put on her, so having others do tasks for her makes her feel cared for and appreciated - the fact that someone is willing to go out of their way to ease her workload makes jaehee feel important in a way that she’s unfamiliar with

707/saeyoung choi

acts of service

“god seven will protect you!!!!”

need i say more?

seven does the absolute most for you

if he sees you doing anything monotonous or tiresome, he’ll offer to do it for you even if he’s already overwhelmed with his work (“no! nope! nono!! that's my job!”)

he even cleans the house for you ………

occasionally he’ll ask vanderwood to let him clean instead, just so you can know that he did this for you 

the smaller gestures like cleaning and doing house chores aren’t all he does though, seven feels a heavy responsibility over you and is very attentive to your safety and wellbeing

if he feels like something is off, he’ll do whatever he feels necessary to keep you safe, instantly switching his focus to you to make sure that you won’t get hurt

physical touch

extremely clingy

if you were to sit next to him while he’s working, he’d keep his focus on his screen but silently rest a hand on your leg or hug his arm around your shoulder, pulling you nearer to him and smiling at your closeness

seven’s 5’9 ass just envelops you when he hugs you

again, he feels the need to protect you, so even if he doesn’t mean to, he’ll be holding you as tightly as he can to keep you safe

when seven makes a breakthrough in his work or when you tell him about something that made you happy that day, he’ll grab your hands and the biggest smile will show up on his face, as if to tell you how happy he is and how much he loves you without needing to articulate the words

(yes this man is not very good at making sense when he speaks)

physical touch takes some of the pressure off as it doesn’t require him to talk coherently, so he feels like he can really express his emotions without needing to force something out that isn’t genuine

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

thank u very much for reading to the end, i hope u enjoyed ^^ 

[cedricslover]

Troubled pt.2

Pairing: Cedric x fem! reader

Pt.1 Pt.2 Pt.3 Pt.4 Pt.5 Pt.6 (Final)

Series summary: A very unfortunate situation happened and it resulted in very unfortunate events. You had everything, a good boyfriend that everyone dreamed of, best friends that you got in a twin pack, and a loving school. It was a calm before a storm and in your sixth year the storm came. You faced the consequences your deceased parents run from, you were only left with your only family, your little brother. What would you do in order to save him? The answer is, everything, even if it means joining a terrorist group of wizards, joining THE DEATH EATERS...

Chapter summary: The first task took place and after that the Yule Ball came. You reminisced memories from the past as your boyfriend makes a surprise.

Note: there is no specific house:))) i can make requests if y’all have one. Italicized paragraphs are the memories. (Also the notes, but you can distinguish them)

Warnings: a little tiny angst, and almost all are just fluff. 

Word count:  4,3k

"You got this alright" You said while brushing Cedric's hair, nervousness filled your voice. Cedric catches your hand that you used to brush his hair. He slowly put it in his chest, directly to his heart, you can feel his heart beating really fast. "I'm also very nervous, I'm scared, love, but if we continue to be scared then what will happen?" He said while looking at you softly, "You should be the one calming me down, not the other way around" he added that made the both of you chuckle. But that chuckle ended when a flash filled your surroundings.

"Aaah, first Harry Potter and that Granger girl, now Cedric Diggory and who might be this girl is." Rita Skeeter walked towards the both of you. "Mr. Diggory. Just one little change of what really happened, I can make you more famous than that little Harry, we all know he overshadowed you, that spot he has in the media? It should be you. Well, that-" Rita was interrupted by you.

"If you won't say anything nice, then just go, be a dung beetle or something" You said that made Rita’s jaw drop, no one knew that she was an animagus, but you saw it, one time when she tried to sneak in the Gryffindor's common room, probably to get more story of Harry.

Pathetic, you said to yourself

"I- let's go" Rita said to her photographer and left the tent. You looked around and saw Viktor Krum, Fleur, Harry, and Hermione look at you. "Everything's okay don't worry" you said to them. Viktor nodded, Harry and Hermione asked you again through a thumbs up and you replied with a thumbs up too, while Fleur walked towards the both of you.

"Ahre you sure you two ahre fine? Whaht deed zat lahdy said?"  Her soothing voice asked you, her French accent really mesmerizes you everytime. Fleur and you became friends the moment they arrived, even though she admitted she had an eye for your lover, she respected your relationship. "Of course, you should sit back, don't worry" you gave her a soft smile.

"Should we worry about Rita?" Cedric asked you after you talked to Fleur, "I don't know, but forget her for the meantime. You," you shifted your gaze to his eyes, your hands landed on his shoulder and straightened it. "still have a task to complete" you smiled.

"Good day champions! Gather round please" Dumbledore entered the tent, you also saw Barty Crouch, Madame Maxime, Karkaroff, and others. The champions gathered forming a circle, you were dragged there as Cedric held your hand on the way.

While Dumbledore was talking he suddenly noticed you, "Miss Y/L/N, what are you doing here?" He asked you and you smiled awkwardly, letting go of Cedric's hand, Dumbledore then noticed Hermione who was just right beside him. "And miss Granger?" You hid your laugh and excused yourself from the crowd and dragged Hermione out.

"I thought he wouldn't notice" You said while you two walked your way to the bleachers, "Me too! I was just right by his side and he still noticed you first" Hermione exclaimed and you both laughed.

"Place your bets lads!!" You heard the twins' voice as soon as you arrived at the wooden bleachers. "Oh please give me a break" You said when the twins looked at you teasingly, asking you to place your bet on the champions. “Oh come on Georgie, we both know where she would put her bets on” Fred winked at you and you just rolled your eyes while smiling. They all know. The cannon was fired and it was the cue that the first triwizard task will start.

You breathed heavily when you saw Cedric went out, your gazes met and you gave him a little smile with a nod. “Good luck” you mouthed.

It was a rough start, as soon as Cedric saw the opportunity he immediately transfigured a rock into a Labrador, but luck was not on his side today. The Swedish Short Snout lost interest at the dog and chased Cedric instead. Tension was definitely in the atmosphere, a lot of cheering and a lot of grunts too as they all bent their bodies like it was them who was facing the dragon.

“CEDRIC!” You shouted. The dragon just breathed fire directly to Cedric's face. Without a doubt you immediately ran down not minding the people you bumped into. “Excuse me, sorry” are the only words that came from your mouth You arrived at the tent and was greeted by Madam Pomrey’s worried face.

“He’s fine dear. The burn is not that severe. I already applied orange paste, he’ll be fine in a few hours.” She said looking at you with a soft smile and tapped your shoulder. You felt relieved.

As Madam Pomfrey left, without a doubt you entered the space where Cedric was in, you knew it was him because of his silhouette.

“You doin’ fine there love?” you said softly as soon as he saw you. He smiled and tapped the space beside him, gesturing you to sit.

“How was it?” You asked and observed his face. You dared not to touch it, afraid that you might hurt him more. “Scary” he said and widened his eyes, trying to scare you.

“Rate it from 1 to 10, ten being the highest” you replied and crossed your arms while looking at him with your left eyebrow raised and lips slightly curved to a smile.

“Ooh! I would say an eleven!” Cedric answered while putting the back of his hand to his forehead, acting very dramatic. You shake your head while laughing. “No but seriously, how bad is it?” you stood up and faced Cedric. Now his level is only in your stomach, “It really was scary” he said with a gloomy tone and grabbed your waist with only one arm as his other arm was covering his face.

“People die in this tournament. I’m still scared” he added, laying down his head to your stomach. You felt his sigh, the heat from his breath. “And it’s okay” you replied to him while caressing his hair, “It’s okay to be scared”.

“Now that our lesson is done, I have something to say, better not pack your things yet” Professor McGonagall said as her class ended. “The Yule Ball is approaching- a tradition of the Triwizard Tournament. A formal dance that will be held on the evening of Christmas. Only fourth years and above are allowed to attend, but of course you can invite a younger student. This will be a great chance for all of you- especially you’re all almost grown ups, I suppose this is the best time to let our-er- hairs down. That’s all.” The room was filled with giggles as you all packed your textbooks.

“Who are you taking Fred?” you asked as you and the twins walked side by side in the halls. “Angelina” he answered that made you and George poke his waist and start teasing him. “Hmm Angelina huh” you said teasingly and made your eyebrows go up and down while George laughed. “Stop” Fred exclaimed while looking scarlet. His freckles are now more prominent, “you look like a strawberry” you pointed to his face and laughed. “Oh Godric” George did nothing but laugh too while Fred covered his face, trying not to laugh too as your and George’s laugh are contagious.

Days passed by and a lot of students had been asked out. You smiled at the thought of the future lovely evening. Christmas is getting nearer but to your absolute disappointment, your boyfriend hasn't asked you yet. You think of this as childish, he's already your lover, why would he even ask you, isn't that supposed to be automatic. But of course, you wanted to experience what others felt, how these Durmstrang men asked your friends including Hermione. The looks and giggles they gave each other. You wanted to experience it. Nevertheless, you knew Cedric was busy, figuring out the next task, the pressure he has to put up with. So you decided to shrug off your immaturity.

"Hey how are you?" You said and sat at the end of Cedric's bed. His broad back facing you as he was sitting at his study table, writing in a parchment, probably doing his homework. He answered you with a "hmmm" indicating that he's fine. You were still worried he might overwork himself but you already warned him before, besides, you're always there whenever he needs someone to stop him.

"Hey, hey" you walked to him and moved your hands smoothly on his back and hugged him from the neck. You rested your face on his shoulder while peeking at his work. "You wanna take a break first? You look tired baby" you said with concern visible in your voice. He shifted his head to your side, you both stared at each other for a while, his bags weren't there but you know he is tired, "come on, stand up, I'm not taking "I'm fine" for an answer" you stood up straight and offered your hands that he eventually reached and held.

"I surely needed a rest" Cedric said hoarsely, grabbed you and held your hips. "And thankfully my rest is here" he added before pinning you to him and greeted you with a kiss.

You tasted his lips, coffee, that was the first thing that you tasted, until it became him, his taste. You wrapped your arms to his neck to pull him closer, one, two, three, four, five. Five minutes before you two broke that kiss.

"So you're an ass grabbing boyfriend now?" You said and looked at his hand in your buttcheek. "Maybe" Cedric shrugged and chuckled as he squeezed it again.

"Come on, let's sleep, I'm tired too" but before you can even walk towards the bed, your feet were not on the ground, he was carrying you, bridal style. "Oh Godric" you exclaimed, shocked, and almost screamed when he playfully tried to throw you.

"Nahhh I can't do that" He said and laid you down carefully on his bed. "Now let's cuddle" he pulled you in a tight hug but not that tight that it will hurt. Your head on his chest and you breathed in his smell. "You smell good" you unconsciously said, hypnotized by his scent. "I know, I always do" he replied boastfully. "Couldn't agree more" were the last words you said before you sank to sleep in his arms.

You woke up at first not aware that it was a weekend, you panicked until you saw a note stating

"It's weekend love, Saturday, I know you might panic but don't worry, it's a weekend. Now I want you to take a bath in my restroom, of course your essentials are there. You can use any of my sweaters too. It's a cold day."           -Ced;)

You smiled at the thought that Cedric wrote this while you snore at your sleep, adding the winking face, winking Cedric is such a cutie.

You got a towel and bathrobe from his cabinet and headed for the restroom in his dorm, but before you entered you gazed at the other bed which was supposed to be his roommate's space, it looks like it wasn't even moved. You shrugged and just thought that Adam (Cedric's blonde and full of himself roommate) was just in another girls dormitory, he was definitely a playboy.

While humming your favorite song, you noticed a note just like the one at the bedside table earlier.

“Lookin’ and smellin’ good I reckon. Now, can you please go to the place we first met. There’s a gift waiting for you there;)”                    -Ced<3

You laughed at the heart at the end. Familiar butterflies started taking up space in your tummy.  You looked at yourself in the mirror, and in a snap, your smile was gone. Reality slapped you. This, what you are experiencing, will be gone. Gone. Everything. You didn’t even realize, tears started rushing down to your face. You questioned your decision, your life, your parents. Why? Why?!

“Y/N??” you heard someone called you from outside, right away you wiped the tears. “Y-Yeah?!” you slightly shouted, trying to cover up the crack in your voice.

“Oh you’re there. I’m just going to get my things. Don’t come out yet. I don’t want to see Cedric’s property with only a bathrobe covering her body” It was Adam’s voice, it was his playful laugh. You rolled your eyes while you started fixing your face.

“I’m no one's property Adam. Shut it” You said and just got a laugh as a reply. “Alright. I’m heading out. Peace!” you heard the door shut. Your cue to come out.

“Hmm what to wear?” You talked out loud as you wandered your eyes to Cedric’s cabinet. You noticed a note again.

“ Got you undies babyyyy. I want to try them though:( ”                   -Ceddie

“Merlin’s beard” you stifled a laugh but it immediately transitioned to your jaw dropping as you opened a drawer full of underwear for women. After processing the thought of how he managed to get the right size and WHERE DID HE BOUGHT THEM. You picked out what you felt wearing today and decided to wear Cedric’s caramel colored sweater.

Now to head to the Transfiguration classroom. Where you two first met.

“Late are we Miss Y/L/N? Care to explain?” Professor McGonagall greeted you as you entered the classroom. Other first years’ heads are turned to you. Waiting for your answer. “I got lo-” but before you can continue a redhead who stood tall with his prefect badge appeared beside you. “She got lost, professor, helped her, sorry for the interruption. Prefect duties y’know what I mean” he playfully winked at the professor who then let you off.

“Go sit beside Diggory” she said and started teaching as soon as you sat. You didn’t talk, your attention was all just to professor McGonagall. Transfiguration is a great subject but one of the hardest according to your father, that’s why you were so focused.

“Class dismissed” McGonagall stated and you carefully picked up your things. “Oi Diggory!” you heard a voice of a boy near you and the next thing you knew is that the boy beside you was thrown a crumpled parchment. “We don’t want your itty pretty face here! Shove off Hufflepuff” a boy laughed together with his friend. Your brows furrowed and remembered what your father taught you.

‘Never let someone step on you, but don’t use your blood as an excuse. Use your skills’

“Oi Goyle!” you mocked what he said and threw back the paper. “Next time, pick someone your own size.” you said, remembering that you were taught by your father to defend yourself at an early age. “And what size is that? Your size? You're smaller than Diggory! Both your princess and prince faces won’t defend yourselves” he replied, obviously pissed.

“Oh yeah?” You walked towards him, acting like an adult but deep down you were quivering. You only had your father as your partner in these types of situations, but here it is, you have to defend someone, like what your father expected you to do.

Kicking him in his groin was the only thing you did that made his ‘friend’ run. “I hope your little brother doesn’t turn out like you. It’s just the first day and you started picking on somebody. Pathetic” you grabbed your things and the little hand of Cedric Diggory and left the groaning Goyle.

“Why’d you do that?” the boy asked as you two walked, “I just felt the need to.” you answered without even looking at him. “Do you want some?” he suddenly stopped, and asked as he handed out a box of chocolate frog. “You mean it?” you were astonished. “Of course, you stood up for me there. I should thank you. Here” he reached for your hand, opened it, and placed the box. “I’m Cedric by the way, Cedric Diggory” he offered his hand, “Y/n-” you stacked the chocolate frog in your bag before you accepted his hand “Y/L/N”.

“Nice to meet you” you both said in unison.

“Here’s the spot” You stated and stood at the exact place where two first years shook hands in 1989. You looked around and suddenly a first year handed you a little paper, it was a note again, “thank you” you smiled sweetly to the girl and she giggled as she ran away.

“I had to buy cauldron cakes now, in exchange for that girl to give you this note. Anyway, I was really a gutless boy before huh? But thanks to you, you had all the guts, thanks for sharing by the way. Thank you for being at my side that time, and I know you will always be. Now go where I confessed, or more like, we confessed to each other ;)”                               -Cedric the lover boy

And again, another chuckle escaped your mouth. Without a doubt you walked fast towards the wooden bridge, a lot of students were there but you can’t find the person you wanted to see. “Ah there’s our pretty girl. Come on, Diggory wanted to give you this actually. Never opened it. Promise” George said and put his arm around your shoulder. “Cross our hearts” The twins said as they handed you a very very folded note. Of course you were suspicious of them, that's why you looked at them and squinted your eyes.

“We promise. We didn’t read it. Cedric told us not to, said it was very private. And you know how we respect your privacy.” Fred told you, they sounded sincere that made you believe them. You do agree, they respect your privacy so much.

“FRED AND GEORGE!” you heard Lee’s voice, and by the sound of it you knew, they pranked him. “Seriously? Lee?” you crossed your arms and asked them with disbelief. “We didn’t have any choices anymore!” they both said as they ran. Shaking your head, you opened the note.

“I know the twins won’t open this. I trust them. Remember when I confessed? I really thought it was one-sided. You always said we’re close friends, that you see me as a brother. I really thought about it, it made me stay awake all night. Until I realized I’ll take the risk to say I like you, very much.”                              -Cedric Diggory PS: head to our spot;)

You looked around as the winter breeze hit your face, blowing your hair, and making you shiver. It was this same time, winter, when exactly one year ago, Cedric confessed his feelings for you.

“Hey, sorry for waiting, got caught up in Potions” You said as you arrived at the wooden bridge where Cedric told you to meet him up. “What is it that you want to talk about?” You put down your bag next to his, both of you then stared at the view. The lake, the snow, the trees, and the chatter of people from afar.

“You’re amazing” he broke the silence, confusion wrapped your head. You looked at him and said “I know” and chuckled, looking back to the view again. “I can’t list down how wonderful of a person you are and you know I will always be here for you. Like what you did before.” Your smile slowly faded, your heart started racing, you felt your face heating up, you hoped, he might have felt what you were feeling. Maybe you don’t have to be scared of ruining the friendship you two built, maybe he likes yo- “As-as your friend of course” Cedric added, your heart dropped, hope disappeared in a snap, then you decided to shift your gaze to Cedric again. “Me too” you forced a smile as you look at his perfect face. That sharp jawline, slightly disheveled brown hair, his grey eyes that will make you forget your name. “Me too Ced” you said as you picked up your bag. “I’ve got to go. It will get dark soon” you said and turned your back to him, fighting your tears to drop, it can wait, you told yourself. It was your last straw, but turns out you’re just a friend.

Yeah, friends.

“Fuck it” you heard Cedric uttered under his breath, before you could take a step you were stopped when someone held your wrist. You inhaled first, trying not to pop, before you turned your face again.

“Do you still have something to say Ced? I told you it’s almost getting dark.” you looked at the sun on your side who’s now just peeking. The sky is a mix of colors, blue and orange, completely different but blended just right.

“I know you’re not doing well since your parents- and I don’t know. When you cried to me when you got the letter, I wanted to be by your side, all the time, day and night,  I wanted to protect you from the pain. I want to be the one to comfort you. I want to be the person you will run to whenever you want comfort. I want to be your home. I want to kiss you goodnight, I want to say that I’m always here. When you showed me your fragile side, all I wanted to do was protect you, take care of you. I want you to-” Cedric stopped when he felt your lips meet his.

“I like you too” You said as you distanced your face to his. Your heart beating really fast, butterflies, your stomach was filled with butterflies.

He grabbed your waist and pulled you again for another kiss. “I like you, very very much” he said between your kisses.

You smiled as you remembered the first kiss you two shared, the sun and the moon was your audience. The wind blew again that made you shiver.

“Now to our spot” you said to yourself and started walking towards the Black Lake.

You arrived at the Black Lake and roamed your eyes towards your spot, when you saw the tree you then slowly walked towards it, cautious about the snow.

You started searching the surrounding, looking for another note when suddenly you felt a presence behind you. In a flash you turned your back and was greeted by a sweet smile of Cedric Diggory.

“Hello” He said and opened his arms, which you threw yourself right away.

“What’s this for Ced?” You asked him as he embraced you, heating both of your bodies from the cold breeze. His chin resting on the top of your head as you leaned on his chest. “It’s our anniversary today. Don’t tell me you forgot?” he asked, surprised. You laughed and turned around, cupped his face and planted a peck on his nose as you tiptoed. “Why would I?” you said and reached for your pocket.

“In fact I got you this” you said, handing him a bracelet, a bracelet you made when you were young, with your grandma. “My grandma loved making these types of things. One time she told me to make one and she’d teach me. That’s the one I made. I cherished it very much. Because she said that I should only give that to the person that I’d like to spend my lifetime with. She even put a spell on it. She’s great at divination. A spell that if the right person wears it, your initials will appear.” You told him while reminiscing.

“I know it’s not that much but-” Cedric cut you off, “It’s the thought that counts. Besides, it looks great. What do you mean?” He wrapped the bracelet on his wrist. Tension grew and grew as you two looked at the bracelet, waiting for the initial to appear on the space where it should be.

C.D.

You two saw it, you almost cried out of joy while Cedric started punching the air. “Guess you have to spend your lifetime with me now” He told you and winked. “Now for my gift.” he reaches out to his pocket and brings out a velvet box. He opened it and two rings greeted you. Butterfly matching rings.

“Here” he slid yours to your finger and you also slid his on his finger. “It’s cute” you said and looked at it, yours was a butterfly while Cedric has a space for a butterfly. “We both complete each other” Cedric said as the two of you tried to intertwine the rings. Your butterfly fits perfectly in the space provided for it. You two looked at each other with smiling eyes that your mouths can’t compare. You felt that you two were the only people there, the only people in this world. In this moment you never cared, you let go of your burdens and just smiled with your safe space. Your safe person, that you know will wait for you, accept you, and be there by your side, helping you.

You smacked the back of Fred’s head after he asked Angelina to the ball. “You don’t ask a girl like that.” you said and rolled your eyes, “Don’t do that George” you warned George who just nodded enthusiastically. “Oh I almost forgot, mum told us that you should send a letter to her about what dress you want. Like your preferences, she’ll buy them the same time as Ginny’s and ours too. And if you’re so worried about mum spending money on you even though you know she takes care of you like a daughter, you can slip a few galleons on the mail, she wouldn’t agree with it but for your peace of mind just please do it” Fred said as he ate. “Really? Thank Merlin” you replied as if it felt like one of your problems faded. “But did Cedric asked you?” George’s voice was muffled as his mouth was full, “Don’t talk when your mouth is full, and yes, he did, yesterday.” you said and couldn’t even hide your smile.

“She’s still in love isn’t she?” George asked Fred who just nodded. While you just scoffed thinking about how Cedric asked you to the ball after he gave you your matching rings. Butterflies again, over and over again.

[ladykissingfish]

The Great Akatsuki Bake-Off

*this was a request in my inbox, I’m so sorry Anonymous I accidentally deleted it before I could reply, but I saw your message and here’s the response! ❤️*

Premise: The Akatsuki is broke af (again), and Pein comes up with the idea of having a bake sale to earn money. Every member of the Akatsuki makes a dessert to sell; chaos (or hilarity) ensues.

**Also I picture them setting up tables outside of one of the Akatsuki hideout caves which of course is equipped with a fully functioning kitchen because why not Jim**

Pein

It was his idea, he’s the leader, so naturally he ain’t cooking. The most the Pein-body will do is sit in the kitchen with Konan while she cooks, offering his opinion or praise.

Kisame

Kisame isn’t the biggest fan of sweets, so is at a bit of a loss for what to make. In the end, he decides to go with something that’s decidedly more savory than sweet; bacon-flavored scones with a maple syrup glazing. This requires some kneading and precise shaping, the latter of which requires small, delicate fingers that Kisame borrows Konan for. Should be noted that he wears a pink Kiss The Cook apron, and he blushes like crazy when Konan reads it and delivers one to his cheek. He gets a bit over-exuberant with the icing, getting more of it on the table than the actual scones. However, the end result is light, fluffy, and absolutely delicious. Deidara especially loves the bacon aspect, and is able to snitch a great number of these until Kakuzu catches him and forces him to pay up.

Deidara

Deidara would make a classic lava cake. He’d know absolutely nothing about this dessert beforehand; he’d be going through a cookbook, his eyes would fixate on the word “lava”, and he’d be sold. Sasori insists that he put on rubber gloves beforehand, because “Nobody wants your hand-drool in their food, brat.” Lava cake requires a very delicate touch and precise timing, something that Deidara has had to become familiar with when deploying his arsenal of bombs. Yet despite being careful he would have to start and re-start this mix many times; maybe he gets eggshells in the batter here, or mistakes oil for milk there. The inside of a lava cake has to smooth and liquid-y but the outside has to be soft yet firm; a single minute in the oven can make the difference between wonderful and awful for these little cakes. When he finally perfects one, he’s ecstatic; but the rest of the group is horrified, at how destroyed the kitchen is. Chocolate batter and powdered sugar covering every wall; yet, somehow, the guy himself remains spotless. Also, Deidara has made another critical error; he assumed that because the recipe was for a cake, it was for a LARGE cake that he could cut into sections and sell piece by piece. However, lava cakes are always small, individual desserts ... and Deidara has only made ONE. Still, he’ll take his one beauty and sell it almost immediately, leaving him time to wander around and filch “free samples” from everyone else’s dishes.

Zetsu

Nobody wants Zetsu trying to cook, because everyone is terrified of what he’d put into his creations. However, White Zetsu insists that (t)he(y) wants to participate, so the others hesitantly let him do so (with everyone periodically coming in to monitor him). His contribution? Pie. Zetsu knows that the key to delicious pie is in the light flakiness of the crust, and he creates several pies that literally melt in the mouth. And he doesn’t just do one flavor; he does apple, blueberry, cherry, and something he calls “surprise berry” ((which is really just a mix of raspberry, blackberry, and strawberry). Before Tobi goes to help Itachi, he’s in charge of helping Zetsu gather up the fruit, and he helps to peel and core and pit and wash until “my hands are really sleepy Zetsu-san!” Zetsu thinks his pies are perfect creations as a whole but Kakuzu insists he cuts them into individual slices to maximize profits, which White Zetsu balks over but Black Zetsu tells him to be quiet about.

Konan

Konan is a delicate, beautiful flower, so naturally anything she makes would reflect this. After much deliberation, she decides to make her version of a layered lemon mascarpone cake. The cake itself is a wonderfully moist vanilla sponge infused with lemon curd, layered with a thick lemon, honey and mascarpone cream, topped with fresh berries, and a light sprinkle of chopped pecans. At first she was only going to make one cake and portion it out into about 20 small pieces; but the demand for it was so high that Kakuzu told her he’d stay and sell the rest while she got back into the kitchen and made another. She’s by far the neatest chef in the kitchen, as she cleans up her mess as she goes so when she’s through, all she has to wash is the empty cake pan itself. She makes sure to save a large piece to secretly take to Nagato later; it’s been a long time since he’s had anything sweet to eat.

Kakuzu

Kakuzu doesn’t want to cook; he’d rather be the one running the sale. However he recognizes that the more desserts they have the more profit they can make, so he grudgingly makes a few trays of brownies. His secret ingredient? Sour cream. At first everyone sees him putting this into his mix and think he’s gone crazy; however, after they try one ((and don’t think for a second he’s not charging his fellow teammates for even a tiny sliver)) they’re blown away by how good they are. After he sets his items on the table, he’s the one who collects the money from the customers. Has to be talked down from the exorbitant prices that he tries to charge people at first. “How much for a piece of blueberry pie?” “500,000 ¥.”

Sasori

He really isn’t into baking (because why would he be? he doesn’t eat) but he knows how to read and follow a recipe. After some careful thought, he chooses to make cupcakes. At first he resolves only to make a dozen, and to keep it all one simple flavor: the chocolate with vanilla frosting that’s in the recipe. Yet as he stands there, a feeling takes hold of him; he remembers happier times, perched on a stool in the kitchen and watching/helping his grandmother as she cooked. That nostalgia drives him to get more creative, and make MUCH more than intended. Some of his creations are great; such as his ginger-chocolate cupcakes with fudge icing. But others, like his broccoli and carrot cake topped with “spicy” cream cheese, not so much. Regardless, the majority of his creations sell, which Sasori’s pleased about. Should be noted that Kakuzu did not entirely trust Sasori not to put some kind of poison into his dessert, so he forced Hidan to sneak and taste-test everything (as he’s the only one who would regenerate from certain death). But Hidan wouldn’t know arsenic from cinnamon; and he winds up with a hell of a stomach-ache after his forced culinary servitude.

Itachi and Tobi

Seeing as how he loves dango so much, Itachi decides to make several dozen sticks of the tri-colored sweet rice dumplings. He keeps the pink dumpling the common strawberry flavor, and the white plain, but he does something special with the green ball, flavoring it with vanilla extract and green tea. Because Tobi is a nightmare in the kitchen (and because he needs supervision when it comes to sweets), Itachi allows him to help, mainly in the form of sticking the dumplings neatly on the stick once they’re shaped. He’s a good helper, except for when Itachi takes his eyes off of him, as he likes to add icing, sprinkles, and a variety of decadent extras that don’t belong on this simple dessert. And it’s a good thing that Itachi makes so many, seeing as they BOTH sneak and eat quite a few when the other is distracted. Tobi is very helpful when it comes to pushing their wares, as his carefree, childlike demeanor attracts customers to their table.

Hidan

Hidan wants something that’s visually representative of him, so what does he make? Red velvet cake bars. The outside is covered with a white-silver frosting, but when you cut into it, the deep red of the cake greatly resembles blood. Hidan isn’t the best at baking (or cooking in general) so he asks Konan to help him when she’s not occupied with her own dish. He’s surprisingly calm and conscientious in the kitchen, keeping his swearing to a minimum and being extra-careful with measuring out ingredients and waiting on the oven to do its thing. He borrows Kisame’s Kiss The Cook apron, only he crosses out the second O and replaces it with a C. His bars come out slightly uneven but really good nonetheless. However, being Hidan, he can’t resist throwing in a prank; he saves some of the cake batter and holds it in his mouth, then, after taking a bite of someone else’s fare, claims that it’s poisoned and spits “blood” out of his mouth, which freaks out their early customers until Kakuzu catches him and exiles him back inside.

[aryn-writes]

Things that upset me: the RFA constantly calling Jumin a robot

Like seriously????

He cares. About all of you. And maybe he isn’t the best at showing it, but he does!!!

And they don’t even try to understand all that he’s been through.

And the moments where he makes jokes and everyone is just like stop that was terrible don’t do that again???

I want to punch them!

Because Jumin is out here trying his best, and no one is even trying to help him! Or take into consideration how he feels!

Like no shit he’s obsessed with Elizabeth. She’s the only one that gives him the attention he so desperately craves

AND ALSO (slight NSFW warning)

Look, i so badly would love to believe that Jumin is a wonderful dom! And he probably does become one, eventually! After much research and practice, him and MC (if it’s what you’re in to) are probably using weekends to have fun.

But I cannot believe the amount of head canons that say he would be a sex god from the get go. Let’s be honest, he will try his goddamn best. And he will be good, don’t get me wrong.

BUT HE WAS A 27 YEAR OLD VIRGIN!!

Before the two of you have sex, he will spend so much time reading and learning how to pleasure you. He loves to eat you out (the sounds you make fuel him) but the first few times? He was trying so hard to be this entirely sexy dom because it’s what he thought you wanted. And as a result? You had to remind him that he can take his time, and that the fact that you haven’t had an orgasm is just because it takes time.

And you will help him learn (along with the sheer amount of Literal Research he does on his own to maximize your pleasure. He even goes as far as to ask Jaehee to find the best books on female/male pleasure and how to achieve orgasms. Like this man probably doesn’t masturbate much. So he’s going in practically blind).

But he would not be a sex god for AT LEAST the first few times. And he will take every free moment (after the two of you have talked about how you’re ready for sex. You cannot convince me that Jumin would not constantly ask for consent) to bed you. Like the first month of the two of you taking that step? You two “practice” at least once a day.

And by practice I mean Jumin wishes to make you a puddle of bliss as soon as he can do you are constantly either being eaten out, or he is trying to find every single one of your sensitive points.

BUT HE WOULD NOT BE A FUCKING GOOD DOM RIGHT OUT THE GAME

this frustration comes out solely because I just want to read a fic of the man being so bad at sex that MC tries to fake it, but he knows they’re faking and confronts them about it and it leads him to just research until he can actually make them cum.

And yk it goes to the exploration of Kink from there.

seriously if y’all have fic recs pls send them my way

[kitkatopinions]

The ethics in RWBY are really weird. I mean, I’m not a professor of ethics and I don’t know much past what I’ve seen on Wikipedia and the Good Place (such a great show,) but it’s so weird to see a show that seems to switch between virtue ethics and consequentialism at random.

(Virtue ethics) may be identified as the one that emphasizes the virtues, or moral character, in contrast to the approach that emphasizes duties or rules (deontology) or that emphasizes the consequences of actions (consequentialism). Suppose it is obvious that someone in need should be helped. A utilitarian will point to the fact that the consequences of doing so will maximize well-being, and a virtue ethicist to the fact that helping the person would be charitable or benevolent.

Of course, it’s a lot more complicated and in-depth than just that, but I’m not going to get into specifics (again, I’m not qualified to do that lol.) But let’s look at some examples of these two ethical beliefs in RWBY.

“Stealing is wrong no matter what,” sounds like virtue ethics at play, and that’s how Blake saw things. That was one of the reasons that she left the White Fang, that was always framed as one of the many things that made it so they were villains, that had to be taken out. Blake regretted her acts of theft in her early life no matter how justified they were. The message is that stealing is always wrong even when you’re stealing from oppressors.

“Stealing is justified in circumstances where you feel you have no other choice,” sounds like consequentialism, if your actions are justified and have good consequences, they’re good. This is put into practice when the group illegally stole the airplane in Argus (although this is actually badly portrayed consequentialism, considering that they didn’t need to do that, but I think we’re intended to perceive it as necessary, but I’ll keep talking about that later.)

“Violence is wrong, even when it’s precautionary or reactionary,” sounds like virtue ethics, and once again, that’s directed towards the White Fang. Despite being oppressed for centuries, even Sienna’s more minor violence is framed as completely wrong, and the Faunus are lectured about how they need to stop committing acts of violence if they want equality. The Ace Ops fighting Team RWBY is meant to be perceived as wrong, despite the fact that Team RWBY had broken the law, proven themselves untrustworthy, and were trying to stop them and Ironwood from doing something that would save people.

“Violence is justified in circumstances where it’s precautionary or reactionary,” sounds like consequentialism. Since the White Fang is hurting others, it doesn’t matter what their goal is (Faunus rights,) it’s totally fine to rip them to shreds, throw them off moving trains, even kill, etc. Since Team RWBY thought it was wrong to move Atlas, they were perfectly justified in beating up the Ace Ops for trying to arrest them. Qrow is perfectly justified in fighting Clover for the same reason.

“You always need to be honest, no matter if you don’t know if you can trust someone or not and no matter if you have good reasons to lie,” sounds like virtue ethics. This is applied to Ozpin in the show, his lying is deemed one hundred percent wrong, full stop, no excuses. He isn’t treated with any sympathy and has to apologize, which is seriously and begrudgingly accepted. Our main characters forcing his secrets out of him is framed as right, their angry responses are framed as totally justified. The message is clear. Lying and mistrusting is wrong. Honesty and trust is right.

“Lying is understandable and even right if you think you have good reason to lie and if you think you can’t trust someone, and Ruby was right about Ironwood, therefore her lying was fine,” sounds like consequentialism. Ruby’s lying is framed as reasonable and understandable. She didn’t have to be honest because she was reacting cautiously instead, putting a virtue on the back burner because she thought being honest might hurt people and wasn’t sure if James could be trusted - as in, she acted in mistrust. Although Yang suggests this was wrong, the show quickly hastens to tell us that Ruby was very right, having Yang walk back on her statements, and having Ironwood turn evil. The message is clear. Lying and mistrusting should be done if you think it will hurt less people. Honesty and trust aren’t always good.

“It’s never okay to willingly sacrifice a life, you must do whatever you can to save everyone no matter the cost,” sounds like virtue ethics. This is the central conflict between Team RWBY and Ironwood in volume 7. Ruby and co considered it wholly wrong to sacrifice the remaining people of Mantle in order to save Atlas and the Mantle citizens already evacuated, they considered the idea unacceptable and we (the audience) are meant to believe they’re entirely right and that Ironwood is - with this action - turning into a villain. The Ace Ops are also seen as wrong for wanting to destroy the whale even though they know that Team JORY is still inside it, because despite the fact that it would save thousands upon thousands, it would result in the deaths of four people.

“You have to do what is right, even if it requires sacrifice,” sounds like consequentialism. Pyrrha goes to fight Cinder despite knowing she can’t win, which is framed as heroic and good. Jaune, Nora, and Ren leave their mission defending the non-evacuated people of Mantle in order to try and rescue Oscar. Our group of protagonists trap a city full of civilians in Salem’s direct line of fire and cause many soldiers to die so that they can try and evacuate the citizens of Mantle. The show frames this as the right choice that the team made in the pursuit of saving everyone they could, and the dead soldiers are a sacrifice that the protagonists couldn’t avoid and therefore aren’t responsible for.

“Being a good person who tries is the most important thing,” This feels like virtue ethics. This is applied to Team RWBY and Ruby particularly all throughout season eight. What really matters is that is that they’ve been trying. What really matters is that they’ve had good intentions. What really matters is they’ve stuck to their guns, stuck to their moral code. The morality of their actions is judged by who they are, what virtues they embody, and what they intended. Ruby is constantly assured by the people around her that she hasn’t really done anything wrong because she’s a believer, she’s kind, she’s brave, she’s optimistic, she’s well-intentioned... She - and we as the audience - are assured that she was still good, even if nothing she did was effective, even if nothing she did even helped people This is also applied to Robyn. She might steal from the government, start fights, and not fix the wall with her stolen resources, but she has good intentions and wants to help, so she’s a good person.

“Your intentions and effort aren’t important, what matters is what you do and if it helps people.” This feels like consequentialism. It’s obviously applied to Ironwood - It doesn’t matter that he’s trying to save Atlas and the evacuated people of Mantle, it still doesn’t excuse what he did even pre-bomb threat. Hacking Penny, shooting the councilman, shooting Oscar, all of that is treated as horrible in the narrative whether or not he’s doing it to try to save thousands upon thousands of lives. Even the things he was doing in V7 were considered not good enough because they weren’t helping enough people. But it also applies to the White Fang yet again. Sienna Kahn might’ve had good intentions (ending Faunus oppression,) but her actions are judged by the harm they do to others. Ilia might’ve had good intentions (again, ending Faunus oppression,) but her actions were considered firmly bad and she had to decide to change her ways in order to be redeemed. On top of this, let’s add Whitley to the pile. Whitley is treated dismissively and coldly by Weiss, but then when he does something good that helps people, Weiss is affectionate with him and starts treating him well. 

This is all very contradictory and weird. It doesn’t matter if you lean more towards virtue ethics or consequentialism, the story keeps waffling between the two and expects its audience to do the same. When they want Team RWBY to do something that might be considered wrong in the terms of virtue ethics (stealing, lying, using violence, etc,) they use consequentialism to justify it, but whenever they want Team RWBY to be morally superior to the people around them even if those people aren’t evil (Ironwood, Oz, Ilia,) they use virtue ethics to do that. Stories that include both as points of contention between characters, but both are framed as justifiable can exist and can be really good, but that’s not what we’re given. Stories that make it clear that they prefer one over the other can exist, but that’s not what we’re given either. RWBY is full of whiplash moments, where you have to go “Wait, wasn’t this framed as wrong just an episode ago?” and “Wait, wasn’t this framed as right and justified just an episode ago?” Because RWBY as a show doesn’t bother to believe in either of them. RWBY as a show is only concerned with saying what they can to make the protagonists look good, which is hard.

When you look at it, they’re bad at being consequentialists.

Let’s look at the first relevant consequentialist action I noted, where I used the example of stealing the Atlas ship to establish that the protagonists considered stealing justified and necessary, therefore morally sound. This was not only avoidable (Cordovin had given them the option of sending Weiss through and she could’ve contacted Winter as soon as her scroll was able to reach her,) but it caused a dangerous Grimm attack. As far as I know, no civilians were hurt. However, this was still an avoidable act of theft that caused negative consequences. Looking at them trapping Atlas is even messier. They do it to save the remaining people of Mantle, putting the people of Atlas (and the evacuated Mantle citizens) at risk so they can save the most people despite the soldiers lining up to die facing Salem and the possibility of Grimm getting in the city of Atlas and killing civilians before they can finish the evacuation. But you quickly realize that they literally can’t evacuate the people still in Mantle because they have no resources to do so. Then they start moving the remaining people of Mantle to the Crater where they won’t freeze to death (logical,) and JORY and the HH start trying to defend them (logical,) but then they don’t send Penny to move Atlas. They know that they can’t evacuate the people in Mantle to Atlas, have a temporary solution to the cold, and know they aren’t going to get more help in defending the civilians in their care and must take care of it themselves. But they continue to keep Atlas trapped there despite knowing that the consequence might be thousands dying. Looking at launching Amity and sending out the broadcast is even messier than that. The broadcast is ill-planned, sloppy, confusing, and hits several of the beats of Cinder’s broadcast, which kick started the Fall of Beacon. This could have terrible consequences in a world where the Grimm are drawn to negativity. People could panic, it could launch Vacuo (the last remaining fully functioning kingdom) into a state of emergency, it could cause people to lose all hope in the establishments or the Hunters themselves, it could make people go out looking for ‘maidens’ to help them. And no one should be able to just travel to help Atlas within a couple of days anyway, which Ruby seems to fully understand at times in how she frames things, but she also asks for help that logic says can’t come. This was something that might endanger people and cause mass panic and Grimm attacks, that didn’t actually do much good. In terms of consequentialism, this was a failure, this wasn’t the Right thing to do.

But when you look at it, they’re bad at virtue ethics too.

Of course, there’s the obvious. They lie, they mistrust, they steal, they’re violent. They point their weapons at Qrow in V6, Weiss points her weapon at Whitley, an untrained teenage civilian, Weiss throws a man in a dumpster for being anti-Faunus to Blake, Qrow punches a teenage body for lying to him about something important. But there’s also the fact that in V8, Ruby and Weiss and Blake don’t do much to help anyone. Ruby sends out her hopeful sounding message that could do very little (if logic means anything in this world,) and then sits in a mansion drinking tea, waiting for Nora to recover. Of course this is wrong from a consequentialist mind frame, the consequence of sitting around doing nothing when you can help save people is that those people might die. But from a virtue ethics standpoint... This action is selfish, maybe even cowardly. Ruby is meant to be selfless and brave, and remember that she’s the one who made it so Atlas civilians and the evacuated people of Mantle couldn’t escape, and then despite the fact that she’s a powerful fighter with a rare super power that can take out tons of Grimm at once, Ruby sits in a mansion and despairs that no one is coming to save her. Look, I’ve heard every excuse. It doesn’t matter if she’s wanted by the Atlas police. It doesn’t matter if she’s trying to take care of her friend. It doesn’t matter if she has no plan. The virtues Ruby is supposed to embody like kindness, bravery, resolve and selflessness would dictate that all of that has to take a backseat when she can save human lives.

This is a big reason why I’m so frustrated with RWBY. They keep waffling between these two conflicting ideas of what’s right and what’s wrong, and they’re failing to make our heroes properly fit into either category. They just then tell us that they fit. They always do what’s right for the most people and don’t look behind the curtain to see them fail to do just that. They always follow their virtues and don’t look behind the curtain to see them make excuses over and over for themselves while they expect everyone else to adhere to the standards they won’t reach for.

And honestly, fans do the same thing the show does, which is one reason why it’s so frustrating to talk to mega-stans that won’t recognize the main casts flaws while they refuse to see that Oz deserved better or that Ironwood wasn’t evil pre-end of volume 7. “Of course Team RWBY lied to Ironwood, they didn’t know if they could trust him!” “Whether or not Oz knew if he could trust them, he never should’ve lied to them.” They’ll say these things even sometimes in the same posts or comments and not even realize the problem. The show and the fans will use anything and any justification to pretend that Team RWBY was right and inculpable, but they’ll use anything and any justification to make anyone who opposes them - friend or foe - seem entirely in the wrong and at fault. That’s why Oz apologized to them, but they didn’t apologize back even though they treated him horribly. The show runners don’t care what Team RWBY did wrong, they’ve already jumped through all the mental hoops to pretend they were right.

Looking at Team RWBY through the lens of virtue ethics, they fail to meet a good standard, and looking at Team RWBY through the lens of consequentialism, they still fall short. And the show needs to stop acting like they’re inherently better than the people around them when they’re not. The show writers are using the excuses of consequentialism and virtue ethics whenever they think it can distract us from the fact that behind their fancy feel good words, they don’t know how to write good protagonists.

[natstolemysocks]

Had a thought recently about how trying to adhere to pre-post ShB canon and a loud part of the RP community as much as possible for my OCs might’ve soured my experience for EW. This is not a critique on the community or the game, but a problem of my own making. I’ve also come to understand why most people I know with a non WoL as their main RP character do not RP with their actual main.

I will try to explain what I mean under the cut for those interested, but basically my time Roleplaying has made going through the MSQ weirdly impersonal. Should you experience the same, please realise you are not alone. To the people I’ve Roleplayed with, know I do not blame you for this at all. The time we spent or are spending together is priceless. If anything, I wish Square would give us more lore that isn’t locked behind or inside end game optionals, so that the world gets fleshed out more deeply for non-WoLs too. Anyway, under the cut its mostly ranting about myself and things I’ve ranted about before, with just a little bit about what I actually wanted to talk about. It ends with me wondering if, had I not cared at all, things would’ve been better.

=

I started Roleplaying officially sometime in 2018, officially meaning putting lfrp messages on Tumblr and following others with the same interest. Having loved RP’ing with friends before, and having been through certain trauma in game, I really wanted to try to get into RP in FFXIV. Partly to find new friends, partly to be able to come up with new stories. However, my earlier experiences with RP outside of one-on-one had all been disastrous, to say the least. Entering an already existing RP group always felt like willingly walking into a den of lions just waiting to get teared to shreds. I’m not certain if it was something I did that resulted into getting chewed out of every Dutch RP forum I ever tried to join in the past, or if the closenittedness of their communities just meant I was a stranger easy to bash. The truth probably lies somewhere in the middle. That said, these experiences did set my expectations for me entering the FFXIV RP community. I kept my eyes and ears open to gripes people would have with people’s OCs, even when I didn’t agree with them myself. I knew I wouldn’t be able to please everyone, but if I could create something that wasn’t offensive to most, that would hopefully allow me to blend into any story in some way or another, and, most importantly, without getting yelled at. Big ones were ‘no WoL’, and ‘no NPC’. I wasn’t planning on creating the latter, but I WOULD be using my main to RP with because I wanted to be able to access most locations the game had to offer to maximize potential. I didn’t, and still do not, have a lof of free time to level alts at all, so it HAD to be my main. At the time I already semi-RP’ed with Ayo’a. It was mostly in comments to people, for example when they called me Ayo and I’d correct them that that was ‘my mother’s name’. My OC’s life would be that which he went through in game, and that was cool. However, because of the ‘no WoL’ need, it had to change.

At first I had two persona for Ayo’a. One would be as the game’s protagonist, the other a nobody trying to get his life together. This duality sort of worked for a while, mainly because the RP Ayo’a wasn’t fully set into stone yet. The two persona meandered in and out of one another, while I tried to create a sort of canon for my cat. It was a pain to decide on character, really, even more while going through mourning and depression myself. I always felt like I couldn’t do anything too out there, like I expected the RP police to come get me. 

I know the feeling was bullcrap. If any group was against it, they just weren’t the people I should RP with, and frankly nobody ever told me off for anything. Better, most people had larger than life OCs anyway to begin with. However, something in me still didn’t dare. I felt like I had to adhere to something unseen, and because of it Ayo’a and my writing never felt good enough, and in game RPs simply didn’t work.

Throughout the years I’ve RP’ed with a couple of people, and Ayo’a’s character slowly began to take proper shape. More and more I’d look at my main less as my WoL and more as my RP OC, trying to find things in game that could relate to him in any way. When (Post) ShB hit and explained any player character could potentially have the Echo, I was ecstatic. I was now canonically allowed to give my cat the Echo, and nobody would be able to tell me otherwise. Not only that, but the lvl 80 SMN job quest also introduced the Summoner Squad, which meant he could now actually become a real Summoner. It felt like I could finally bring Ayo’a closer to my original vision of him, an incredibly liberating sensation, and I honestly didn’t waste time incorporating both into his backstory.  Unfortunately soon after shit happened in real life, and frankly RP’ing and playing in general fell a bit to the wayside. Well... a lot really. The happiness I had felt at the time had been shortlived, overshadowed by doubts of my own usefulness once more. Negativity, especially coming from my ass of a brain, always tends to weigh in more than anything trying to break through. Life was shit, work was shit, free time nonexistant, and I couldn’t write without crying. Everything was a chore, yet I kept thinking I had to, as if it could make things better, all while expecting everything and everyone to judge me for all I did and didn’t do.  Eventually a fallout with someone in the community, something that had felt like a betrayal, had me break and cemented my decision to quit trying.

People do say you have to be careful with making decisions for others when you’re down, but at the time it doesn’t feel like that’s what you are doing. What it does feel like, is that you are giving others the choice to let you go because you can’t possibly live up to the expectations you believe them to hold up for you. In your eyes it all looks like others just keep you in their friend list out of pity, that if they wouldn’t be scared to seem heartless, they’d remove you without batting an eye. Even if it wasn’t true, it was how I felt at the time and it was very, very real to me, so I cut people off, in my head to make them happier with their life. If they really wanted me in their lives, they’d try contacting me still, I reasoned. In reality more was going on. I was miserable and desperately looking for a way to spare myself of even an inkling of stress so I could hopefully cope with the one at home and at work better, the two I could not avoid. I realise I could’ve done it another way, a more respectful way, but I wasn’t clear in my head and anxiety has never really been a good guide at all. My actions ended up burning bridges I’m not certain I wanted to be burned, but it happened, so I guess all of it had been pointless to begin with. 

Time passed and EW finally arrived. I wouldn’t have been able to play it had it not been for me crashing at work, and being sent home due to being overworked. I missed the initial pre-order window and it soon looked like the whole of the internet was out to snipe anyone with unwanted spoilers, yet fortunately I was able to go into the expansion mostly blind. My friend too tried their hardest not to spill anything too early. I’m still very grateful for that, because thanks to them I was allowed to experience the story without too much expectations, and it was lovely. 

However, throughout playing I noticed how I would see the story as something happening to someone else, rather than my character, rather than Ayo’a. It wasn’t his story, it was a retelling of someone else’s experiences using him as a proxy. I remember waiting most of the game for input that would mean something for my OC in particular. I suppose a character is still a character, and even if you say you won’t write anymore, you still keep building onto it. So yeah, things like the scales that allowed people without the Echo to not get tempered (which made his recent realisation of the Echo moot), or where GC’s would be stationed, how Dynamis would rear its head in the city states, what happened to my dearest (Beast) Tribes, how he’d be able to help in the grand scheme of things from his own position. That’s what I was looking forward to while Ayo’a’s image was but a standin for that of a true hero. 

I understand now why most people that do not RP with their main do so. There is no, or at least less, dissociation involved that way. Your RP character goes through MSQ simply to get where you need to be, while your main can still be the hero and be, well, the main character. 

Perhaps I’m just weak in the sense that I should definitely be able to split the idea of Ayo’a as a WoL and Ayo’a as the character he’s become, yet have clearly failed in doing so. There’s part of the fun missing in a way. A lot that’s going on in the WoL’ daily life just does not translate to others. That’s by no fault of the game, mind you. I decided to RP on my own, the game does not have to cater to me in any way, but I do feel more could’ve been mentioned in levelling side quests. (I wouldn’t particularly have mourned the loss of many of the Loporrits side quests in favour of fleshing out what happens on Eorzea for example). 

I’ll be honest, I came to resent FFXIV a great deal. While I do think it is a very good game and I’ll definitely be coming back for big things because I’m curious, that resentment is something I fight to this day. I don’t want to resent it, not really. I still want to be part of it, but I can’t shake my initial reaction to stumbling upon posts or merely hearing FFXIV music in the background of a youtube video. There’s illogical anger. I suppose towards myself. 

In a way, I wonder how things would’ve been had I not expected to be unwelcome from the start, and never cared about what others might not like. Would my experience have been better? Would I’ve been thinking less in other’s stead, trying less to minimize situations I didn’t want to be in? Possibly, but I’ll never know.

[myimaginarywonderland]

This is going to sound mean and butthurt but you know what, frankly I don't care.

I would have been fine letting this whole Lando thing rest for a while.

First off, I don't care that he could him a swear word or multiple ones that is normal by there level of adrenaline and I really thought that it would be it as he apologized for that after the race.

But it wasn't.

Yes, I am upset about what he said in the post race interview. I think it's an unfair thing to say and paints Lance in a light that is not true. If you really want to blame someone for Friday, then it's Max fault. But it was dumb, nothing more. It could have probably happened to any two drivers because they're all stubborn and want to drive so they can maximize their performance.

And what Lando said about Lance never learning, that's complete bullshit. I am not discussing his talent, think of that what you want but Lance has learned and matured a lot. The Lance he is now isn't the Lance from two years ago. He changes like we all do. And never, in this entire season has he been the cause of any collision or racing incident. If anything he has been the victim of those like with Charles which some of you seem to like to forget. Where was the hate towards Charles when that happened? Where were the people calling Charles the "new Romain Grosjean" (first off completely unnecessary and secondly,Romain is not a bad driver and much better person than some of your faves) or a dangerous driver? Where were they when he drove out without his seatbelt which is actually dangerous? Or where were they when the facist did that embarrassing mistake which nearly cost him and Lando the race?

Where were you all when these things happened? Didn't you care because that wasn't your favourite drivers race ruined? Well, I am sorry but racing incidents like that happen. You can even blame Lance on the crash (which by the way, none of you all would have said something if the maneuver had worked and it's not like people haven't overtaken like that before) because it was a bit of a reckless or unplanned move.

But you know what you are not going to do? To say Lance has no talent, that he doesn't deserve his seat or other shit like that. What to know what happens then? You make him cry, you give him anxiety and self doubt and you make him so uncomfortable. Lance is a sensitive person which some of you didn't even know because until that incident you didn't care to do anything other than call him names which degrade him because of the wealth of his father (and let's not act like Lando's parents aren't rich or Nicky's which might be less sure but it's still more than I will ever have.)

Let's not act like oany of the F1 drivers had a shortage of money to get to where they are (be it through sponsor or other things.)

Let's not act like you don't need to be at least a good driver to get an F1 seat and let's not act like Lance only got his because his dad bought a team (he had two years with Williams before he joined that team where he become one of the youngest podium finishers.) And let's not pretend that would any other driver be in that position, their dad wouldn't have done the same thing or that they wouldn't have done the same thing. Let's not pretend that these are rotten morals or that anyone else would be above doing stuff like that.

But I probably could have let this whole thing go. If it wasn't for Lando's post.

Because you know what putting that clown emoji does? It gets all his fans which are young and sometimes that can't think things throughly or reflect on stuff (and he knows this, as an adult and a driver or rather online personality he has to be aware of this) to hate on Lance.

It gets them to comment stuff like "daddy's cash took you out" or "$troll is a clown."

And all of that leads to more hate to Lance. And let me just tell you something. If there is anyone who does not deserve hate it is this boy. He has never had stress with anyone in the paddock, he is such a good guy and he is a genuinely kind human being. But you don't see that. And you wanna know why?

Because Lance can't use social media. He has to be so afraid of it. He can't post one thing without people hating him. Because they don't try. They don't try to see what is behind the dumb accusations.

And if you think, that after this, that he will not get more hate than usual, that Lando was entitled to do this, that this was right or that this isn't even bad, then unfollow me.

Because what Lando did, talking someone down who is an easy target that probably can't defend themself, is exactly how bullying starts. And sure that's a hard thing to say but as someone who has been bullied, it does not always come in violence or in big grand things. It can come in the form of people spreading lies about you, the popular kids using their popularity to turn people against you. Lando and Lance are not friends, you can't label this as some banter between him and Charles. (Which to be honest, even that was weird because Charles was uncomfortable with it and it was more than just making fun but people aren't ready to see that)

Lando's post is immature but since he doesn't need to face consequences because he will be protected by some of his friends, this will probably be the end of all of this. Just a sour argument which resulted in people cyberbullying a person that made a mistake in a sport where you sometimes have to make split second decisions.

It resulted in giving someone more anxiety,self-doubt and bad feelings that he probably already has.

This was a long post and probably a bit all over the place, maybe also with a hars language but I am not going to apologise for any of it.

If you disagree feel free to, if you want to hate me, come at me but I will stand by what I said.

[midnightactual]

Kurayami’s Perspective

To understand Kurayami, it’s important to understand what a typical zanpakutō even is in the first place. Most of the available evidence in the series revolves around Ichigo, who is obviously unique, but it still gives us some insight into what the average zanpakutō is like.

ZANPAKUTŌ IN GENERAL

Ōetsu has the following exchange with Ichigo in chapter 523:

Ichigo: Oh yeah?! So these guys are the embodiment of asauchi! But... why are we being attacked by them?! Ōetsu: So close!! Ōetsu: Embodiment, huh? Yes, yes, yes. So close, so close. It’s a bit different, but that’ll do for now. But what’s more important... is that they’re angry at you. Ichigo: Angry?! About what?! Ōetsu: The way you two use your zanpakutō. Ichigo: How we use it...?! Ōetsu: You don’t understand? I don’t blame you. How you fight? How you swing it? No, no. Then what? It's something more fundamental! Ōetsu: Have you been using it as a tool? Have you been interacting with it as a subordinate? Have you been relying on it like a partner? As a family member? As a friend? A superior? A junior? Pet? Acquaintance? Lover? Mistress? Ōetsu: GIMME A BREAK!!! Ōetsu: This how they feel about you. This is what I mean by more fundamental.

Just from the way this is being discussed, we can say that zanpakutō are none of the things that Ōetsu lists off. When Ichigo eventually returns in chapter 538, the asauchi he selects takes on his appearance and hairstyle. In chapter 540, when Ōetsu disintegrates the asauchi for forging, it starts with a hole in the heart, like a Hollow. In chapter 541, “THE BLADE AND ME 2″, we get the following:

Ōetsu: Have you figured it out, Go-Ichi? Ōetsu: The reason why this asauchi turned white... the moment it touched you? Ichigo: ... No... Ōetsu: Perhaps you thought to yourself that... it’s just like... the Hollow in you. Ōetsu: That's right. This guy is... the Hollow inside you. I had that asauchi become the catalyst to draw this zanpakutō out. Ōetsu: Do you understand what that means? Ōetsu: This Hollow is... your zanpakutō, Go-Ichi. Ōetsu: The Hollow named White that Aizen created is made from layers of many Soul Reaper souls. Oddly enough... that is also how my asauchi are created. Ōetsu: That Hollow entered your body... and melded with your Soul Reaper powers. It became your zanpakutō. Ichigo: Wait a second... so then... Ōetsu: That’s right. I know you know... Ōetsu: ... About the man who's been... pretending to be a zanpakutō inside your soul!

We go on to learn that “Zangetsu”, the Old Man, is a manifestation of Yhwach, and Ichigo’s Quincy powers. Ōetsu and Ichigo then reforge both Zangetsu in chapter 541, “THE BLADE IS ME”, and Ichigo bids farewell to both, giving the following internal monologue before the title drop:“I won't ask... for your help anymore. I won't tell you to stay out of my way either. Nor will I ask... you guys to fight with me. I... will fight on my own. Thank you. Zangetsu. You are... me.”

All of this is very unequivocal: asauchi are created in the same fashion as artificial Hollows and become zanpakutō upon fusing with Shinigami powers. Once fused in such a fashion, they are their wielder and there is no real distinction between the two. It would seem from the actual Zangetsu’s behavior that he generally represents instinct, impulses, killing intent, and self-preservation instinct, although he is no mere “Id” given his relatively cordial interactions with “Zangetsu” in chapter 112. All of the talk of him being a Hollow and “taking over” Ichigo is just that: talk to motivate Ichigo through fear. (Which is necessary for evolution, remember?) Zangetsu has no real interest or desire in taking over Ichigo any more than Zabimaru wants to take over Renji. He also can’t, since he’s already fused with Ichigo’s Shinigami powers and is Ichigo.

“Tensa Zangetsu” in chapter 409 tells us, “I don’t care. I don’t care what happens to things you want to protect. [...] Make no mistake, Ichigo... What you want to protect... is not what I want to protect!” In chapter 420, White Tensa Zangetsu says, “Tensa Zangetsu is you,” and “What I wanted to protect was... you... Ichigo!” This not only foreshadows what Ōetsu says, but given that both Zangetsu are fused at this time, we can discern that this is the desire of both, to include his “actual” zanpakutō. This reasoning is presumably why Isshin’s Engetsu refused to teach him the Final Getsuga Tenshō in the first place.

(This is not an Ichigo analysis, but it seems evident that Isshin and Ichigo’s Final Getsuga Tenshō would not be the same. The existence of White Tensa Zangetsu suggests that Ichigo’s Quincy, Hollow, and Shinigami powers are acting in unison and that what he uses against Aizen is in actuality likely a combination of what Isshin called the Final Getsuga Tenshō, Letzt Stil, and Segunda Etapa. It is unclear whether what Isshin called Final Getsuga Tenshō is available to all Shinigami, only Shiba, or only himself and Ichigo. By comparison with Letzt Stil and Segunda Etapa, presumably all Shinigami should have something similar as a final mode, but perhaps it’s a Shiba specialty, as it seems unlikely only Isshin would know of such a thing, and if ever there was a time for people who did know to use it, Thousand-Year Blood War was it.)

(This is also not a Tōshirō analysis, and I don’t presume to know what’s up with Hyōrinmaru in chapter -16, let alone The DiamondDust Rebellion if it’s taken as canon, but suffice it to say, based on what Ōetsu says his experience is clearly not typical in any event. Nor is it a Kaname and Kenpachi analysis, as it’s not clear what’s up with taking the zanpakutō off someone else who died. Nor is it an Arrancar analysis, as their zanpakutō seem very different.)

All this still raises several questions, such as ones like: why does an old and experienced Shinigami like Shunsui treat Katen Kyōkotsu in chapter 649 in exactly the sorts of ways that Ōetsu mocks over a hundred chapters earlier? That’s unclear. It could be that what Ōetsu reveals isn’t widely known, and that Shinigami are allowed to labor under false impressions of what their zanpakutō actually are for some reason (such as to limit their strength). Or maybe Shunsui just finds it entertaining despite knowing the truth.

Anyway, to recap, in general:

asauchi are created in the same fashion as artificial Hollows, and effectively are themselves weaponized Hollows (which fits well with the zanpakutō which Hikone used, Ikomikidomoe, which was made from a primordial Hollow)

the asauchi facilitate drawing out the “instincts” of their wielder into a manifestation which is similar to but distinct from Hollowfication, creating a zanpakutō and its attendant spirit (or at least manifesting this spirit if it existed a priori) while leaving the wielder seemingly unaltered

zanpakutō spirits are their wielder at base, and a zanpakutō is an extension of its wielder

zanpakutō view the protection of their wielder as an overriding priority

KURAYAMI IN PARTICULAR

Accordingly, it should be understood that Kurayami, like most zanpakutō spirits, is a reflection of Yoruichi’s base impulses and desires. Unlike most Shinigami, by virtue of her high office and family pedigree, Yoruichi knows this. She was thus increasingly horrified by what she saw as a result, and internally continued to otherize Kurayami...

... But she probably missed some things in the process, because she was too close to see them clearly for what they truly were.

Kurayami is a hardliner. Her attitude toward Yoruichi is similar to Zangetsu’s attitude toward Ichigo. As discussed, Zangetsu postures in the fashion he does to try and compel Ichigo to take steps that are necessary, but which Ichigo refuses to take. The ultimate examples of this are Zangetsu taking control of Ichigo’s body in an attempt to take down Byakuya, and likewise fatally wounding Ulquiorra. Kurayami’s constant admonitions of Yoruichi, advocacy of first strikes, and appeals to violence are her version of the same idea, as Yoruichi’s preferences for socializing, toying with her opponents, and avoiding killing might get her killed instead one day. (See also: Askin.) She always pushes for the maximal use of force, for overkill, because as Ripley says in Aliens: “I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.”

Kurayami only cares for Yoruichi’s continued existence. Despite being perfectly aware of Yoruichi’s guilt regarding what occurred during her time in the Onmitsukidō and Gotei 13, Kurayami would happily kill a million, a billion, or a trillion people if it meant that Yoruichi continued to live. The lives of others aren’t meaningless, but they simply do not matter to her in comparison. It’s not exactly that she only views Yoruichi’s compassion, empathy, and sympathy as weaknesses, as they can be tactically advantageous, but she believes Yoruichi is too committed to them even when it imperils her.

Kurayami largely disdains others. Being Yoruichi herself, knowing everything she knows, Kurayami can reflect upon Yoruichi’s life and judge it from a somewhat different point of view than Yoruichi herself. What she finds isn’t great. Kurayami’s perspective is that others have used and abused Yoruichi, either blatantly to get what they wanted, or subtly through needing her. Her position is thus that almost everyone else can fuck off and die. “Leave Yoruichi alone,” and “You all don’t deserve her,” are fairly apt summations of her point of view. While this hostility isn’t (usually) actively violent or lethal, she is unlikely to treat most of those Yoruichi knows in any fashion other than condescendingly.

To summarize: Kurayami is actually Yoruichi’s biggest advocate and booster, just in her own way. She’s hard on and critical of Yoruichi because Yoruichi has been trained to be predisposed to learning best from that kind of input, and because Kurayami cares enough to settle for always being cast as a villain if it means Yoruichi goes on and succeeds. She believes that almost no one is worthy of Yoruichi’s time and attention, let alone her blood, sweat, and tears. And finally, she has an infinitely negative amount of compassion for anyone who would oppose Yoruichi, regardless of any and all reasons involved in any dispute or conflict.

She loves Yoruichi (and how can she not, since they’re one in the same?) and would gladly turn the universe to ash for her to keep her going even one more day. Lobbying for murderous rampages is in effect a posture she adopts to make a point rather than a desire she lusts for. She’s never actually at risk of losing control or going berserk—it’s always only ever about doing what needs to be done with minimal risk.

[jade-doodles-questionmark]

On Alexander, Angelica and Eliza

Heres some long-ass personal interpretation based on the musical that nobody following this blog signed up for lol. Not gonna be touching on history coz i’m no expert and there’re ppl way more qualified for that. and it’s good to keep things separated.

there’re obviously many similarities between the two A’s. Both are witty, outspoken, center of attention, and a bit of a flirt. To me, the most interesting trait shared by both is their awareness: They know exactly where they stand socially, and subsequently, how to play by the rules to climb up. This clear awareness is where I got the idea for the staircase drawings. “i’m a girl in a world in which my only job is to marry rich/ my father has no sons so i’m the one who has to social climb for one” is a demonstration of Angelica’s awareness, just as “As a kid in the Caribbean I wished for a war/ I knew that I was poor/ I knew it was the only way to rise up” shows Alexander’s.

it’s different for Eliza - i know as the show proceeds, she gradually becomes more ambitious and active, but in Who Lives Who Dies Who Tells Your Story, what she asks, instead of how to rise up, is: “Have I done enough?” this quiet insistence is why i always see her as someone who does things because she thinks it’s a right thing to do, no matter whether that thing in question would benefit her personally or not. sure, she gives off "cinnamon roll" vibes, but girl’s no less strong or badass than Alexander or Angelica.

More under cut coz I’m incapable of being concise:

Angelica:

what always strikes me as interesting about Angelica is the contrast of what she says vs. what she does.

In The Schuyler Sisters, the majority of her lines are about empowering women, which, I think, is where the depiction of Angelica as an angry feminist comes from in some fanfics. But in Satisfied, we see she plays squarely by the rules of patriarchy and social classes (the three fundamental truths part). 

Similarly, in TSS, she says "so men say I'm intense or I'm insane", seemingly unbothered, if not lowkey proud, by these comments, but in Satisfied, she talks about the resulting gossip if she were to marry Alexander. 

I saw a post which expressed that Angelica thinks like Alexander but acts like Burr, and I agree. She has a sharp mind and is unafraid to speak out, like Alexander, but she’s also got things to lose, like Burr. Having family responsibilities means that she does not, and cannot, act without restrictions and hesitations like Hamilton. She doesn't necessarily wait it out like Burr, but she does think things thru, because the important decisions she makes carry enough weight to not only affect the future of herself but also of her family.

I had mentioned in an old post that Satisfied is basically Angelica assessing cost & gain for each of the options she has, for all the parties involved. even though that song's ending has mixed feelings and it's DEFINITELY a heartbreaking song, Angelica's choice did maximize the gain for everyone at the time: She was able to maintain her bond with Alexander and married rich to ensure her material comfort. Alexander was able to marry a Schuyler and elevate his status. Eliza got the boy she loved and was happily married. She even foresaw some possible challenges the newly wed Hamiltons were likely to face (“He’ll never be satisfied”).

She knows she lives in a world of patriarchy; she isn't happy with it, but she knows how to take advantage of the system as much as she can. She knows how to be the center of attention, be charming, and appeal to ppl. She knows what kind of husband is beneficial to have. She knows how to influence politics in her own way (take a break). Part of why I found Satisfied so sad is that her mind and her heart wish for two different things. Angelica is a realist, over everything else. She can be a feminist, but definitely not an angry one.

Alexander:

I talked a bit abt him in an older post on Maria - and a lot of what I said abt Maria applies to him. If the challenge Angelica was facing is invisible societal restrictions on women, what Alexander faces is purely regarding survival. Having needed to fight and compete for resources, I imagine he's at least somewhat influenced by the philosophy of social darwinism. I also said, in the same post, that I don't think he'd be really inclined to help ppl in the same difficulty he used to be in, for the same reason. If he could make it this far with his own hard work, how would it be fair to make things easier for others now? Would those ppl even deserve their success now the bar has been lowered? It's not exactly a right way of thinking, but it's also hard to blame him. after having to compete for resource w others in order to climb up, it’s hard to change the mentality.

I've seen a music analysis (by Howard Ho on YouTube) on Hurricane, and it concludes that when Hamilton was singing that song, he wasn't exactly recalling the past - he's been mentally living in that reality and never truly left. (There's similar remarks that Hamilton's past in the Caribbean had always plagued him despite his power and position in Chernow's biography, but we're only analyzing the musical here.) He never fully turned off his survival mode.

To clarify: by survival mode, I don't literally mean he fights to survive. He didn't exactly show a strong will to survive and was quite willing to give up his life for noble causes, up until he met Eliza. What I meant is, he remembers being destitute and helpless, he remembers seeing deaths of trivial importance, so he fights to be as far away from destitution and helplessness as possible, he fights to have the opportunity to die a glorious and noble death. Because to be able to die for something matters is still a privilege. No matter how high up he rose to position, his insecurity that he may end up losing those never faded away. This raw energy, I guess, is what gradually turned the others in the musical to be more like him.

Eliza:

Eliza seems to be the one who's the most content abt their situations out of the three. After all, one of her motifs in the musical is "look around at how lucky we are to be alive right now", and the other one is “that would be enough”. 

ppl usually say Helpless and Satisfied should be listened back to back (and nothing wrong with that), but comparing these two songs, Helpless doesn’t explore as much of Eliza’s character as Satisfied does Angelica. Throughout Helpless, she’s spent most of the song narrating what happened and falling head over heels for Alexander. As for her first appearance in TSS, she doesn’t have as much of a voice and show of character in comparison to Angelica, Burr, other Peggy either. 

The first moment we truly see her thoughts is in That Would Be Enough. It’s also in this song, her two other motifs (”that would be enough” and “narrative”) are introduced. Unlike Alexander and Angelica at that point of story, she’s happy with her life, wants it to remain that way, and doesn’t ask for more. 

i dont mean she’s not ambitious like the other two - she’s driven, but by other things. she doesn’t think of legacy, material comfort, status, position, etc. as important as Angelica and Alexander, as we can see in Burn. it’s not that she doesn’t know the rules - girl’s not playing the game at all. 

unlike the two A’s, Eliza’s growth happens in the second act. Angelica’s barely in the second act, and in the same act we see Alexander’s most trusted weapon, writing, contributing to his downfall. but for Eliza, she turns from the observer in Helpless, the supporter in That Would Be Enough, to the only one on stage in Burn, and to being the center of stage in Who Lives Who Dies Who Tells Your Story. in the second act we see her going thru the series of most crushing heartaches: Reynolds Pamphlet, death of Phillip, and death of Alexander, but we also see her strength. she’s a good person, but ppl usually forget that being nice takes energy and strength too. it takes strength to support, to forgive, to mourn the passing of your loved ones, and to preserve their memories and legacy. she shines and grows after overcoming the loss and heartbreaks. Angelica says in Satisfied “she’d say 'i’m fine' but she’d be lying”, i don’t think she’s giving Eliza enough credit for her mental strength there lol. 

side note: this is where i got idea for the eliza art from a few days ago - kintsugi represents the idea that your wound becomes your history and forms part of who you are, rather than something ugly to be ashamed of. I think it fits well with Eliza’s development.

Congrats! you’ve made it till the end! don’t know why u’d do that, but thanks! 

if u’re reading this feel free to send me a simple art request to compensate the time u took reading my bullshit

[theravenclawrevolutionary]

A couple weeks ago you mentioned in a post that most of what's known about Robespierre is propaganda, could you elaborate on that?

Of course Anon! I’m always glad to talk about anything pertaining to the Frev! I’m not sure how much you already know about the French revolution, but I know other people will read this so hold on, 'cause it’s about to get long and in-depth as hell!

Also: Just a reminder that I don’t have a degree in history or anything. I simply spend a majority of my free time looking up information cause I’m a nerd like that. And of course, my statement about Robespierre could be applied with different levels of accuracy to other historical figures at the time, including the monarchy. This is just how it applies to Maxime as requested. Any questions about any other aspects of the French Revolution are always welcome. I'll try to answer then as clearly, accurately, and respectfully as possible.

A majority of information commonly spread about Robespierre is that he was a vicious and cruel leader with no regard for anyone but himself. Supposedly, he was so obsessed with the ideas of perfection and ‘virtue’ that he lost any human emotion, rendering him cold, friendless, and willing to sacrifice anything or anyone to get his way. In fact, when I first was introduced to him and the French Revolution in school several years ago, I was under the impression that he personally was responsible for a majority of deaths that occurred during the revolution. That’s what caused me to first look into him. Morbid stuff has always interested me and I wanted to know all about the vicious relentless killer who had no regard for human life and wanted to purge France of anyone who lacked the necessary virtues of his twisted moral code.

As I began to research I realized the picture of Robespierre painted for me by the flawed American education system, the modern media, and a surprising amount of books summarizing the history of the world was incredibly skewed, usually in favor of the ‘poor monarchy’ who were ‘thrust into an impossible position and didn’t mean for anything to happen’. 

In reality, Robespierre was, despite remaining a flawed individual like the rest of us, a quiet well dressed, polite man who was loyal to his friends, cared deeply about his family, wanted to reform the country in favor of the common people, and fought for what he believed in. Maxime had social anxiety and loved animals especially birds and dogs. Oftentimes he left his glasses places and couldn’t remember where he put them. He once wrote a poem about how much he loved tarts. Things made him angry, happy, and scared. The man who played such a crucial part in the revolution was still the same person as the young man who cried when his youngest sister Henriette died at age seventeen and the man who was praised as being a bright student at Louis-le-Grand. He advocated for women’s rights to an education, supported the rights of Jews in France (who were an unrepresented minority at the time), proposed laws in an attempt to decrease unnecessary violence (which he hated along with the war against Austria, the dechristianization of France, and the dangerous mob mentality). Maximilien Robespierre was an actual person who actually felt things like the rest of us. He was no heartless monster who preyed on innocent Frenchmen for no reason.

Now it’s time to point out the wrongs he committed. It can never be a fair judge of someone’s character, living or dead, without taking into account the bad things they have done. Robespierre did vote in favor of Louis XVI’s execution, mistakenly believing that France would benefit from the king’s death. After Capet’s execution violence spiraled out of control, resulting in a period of death known as The Reign of Terror. He also didn’t do as much as he should have to oust revolutionaries with dangerous tendencies and a penchant to condone mob violence. One of his biggest faults was his habit of compromising when he should have stood his ground and standing his ground when compromising would be the better option. His signature can be found on the arrest warrant sent out for the Dantonists, including his friend (to some degree) Georges Danton and childhood friend Camille Desmoulins, who eventually would go on to be executed.

Now the question is, how did a usually quiet, reserved individual become known as a bloodthirsty cult leader? The answer is, of course, Thermidorian Propaganda. For those of you that don’t know what that means, allow me to explain. 

Thermidor was the name of the fifth month on the revolutionary calendar (which was implemented in 1793 and used in France through 1805 ) that spanned from July 19th to August 17th on the Gregorian Calendar. At the beginning of Thermidor Maximilien was to make a speech to the National Convention speaking about but refusing to then name of several members who were corrupt or had committed crimes against the revolution and defending his own part in trying to find them. (Actually, I believe he straight-up named three people, but I don’t remember their names so it’s not important.) Convention members who feared exposure by the speech conspired together to overthrow Robespierre, who was seen as the figurehead of the revolution, (similarly to how the president represents the United States as a whole) and save their reputations. Robespierre and those still loyal to him fled to the Hotel de Ville, were captured by the National Guard, and were sentenced to death via guillotine all within the span of a few days. Those who accused and condemned him have come to be known as Thermidorians and the event itself known as the Thermidorian Reaction.

In order to preserve their reputations, the Thermidorians began criminalizing Robespierre and using him as a scapegoat for crimes committed (and not committed at all) by different people during the revolution. As the common saying goes, “History is written by the winners.” Because they succeeded in their plot against the Robespierrists and frightened anyone who wished to stand up and support their own Robespierrist views, the Thermidorians were able to control the narrative and the light in which Robespierre is presented. As his rivals/enemies they wanted themselves to seem obviously correct and Robespierre to seem clearly in the wrong. Things were not so black and white, so they fudged the information a little to help their cause.

As a result our picture of Robespierre is very different from the actual man. I'd like to say that he did both helpful and problematic things over the course of his time in the spotlight. He was a human, simple as that. It isn't right to demonize him and completely butcher his true self the way the Thermidorians and many historians since have done, but in the same breath we also have to remember all the awful things he allowed and was a part of.

Sorry it got so long, but I hoped I cleared things up for you Anon. If you have more questions, please hit me up!

~Dara

[theredhairedmonkey]

Claudia—Just what’s so bad about Dark Magic anyway?

Ah, Claudia. Everyone’s favorite dorky Dark Mage. Even as she continues her journey to villainy, we can’t help but find her at least a little adorable.

She’s undoubtedly likable, which makes a lot of what she does even more unsettling. We’re used to villains like Viren, who are so obviously villains even if they have somewhat good intentions.

But Claudia? She seems to have a good heart and cares about people outside of simply what they can do for her. Even if she may not reciprocate Callum’s feelings, she’s still clearly fond of him.

In S2, she’s genuinely supportive of her brother, telling him that them being alive matters more than succeeding in their missions. She also comforts Ezran and even helps mend his relationship with Callum, reminding him just how lucky they are to have each other.

As I lay out here, Claudia very much resembles Callum in the earlier chapters; both are bookish nerds, adorably awkward, and with an affinity towards magic. And while Callum starts to move away from this resemblance, we can see why Claudia is so likable.

Claudia can be caring and sweet. That’s why it’s so tragic and painful to watch her continue to cross moral lines, to the point that she is now thoroughly antagonistic to Team Zym, with any hope of total redemption being slim at best.

Now, I can’t talk about Claudia without first talking about Dark Magic. You see, while Dark Magic is terrible, the show doesn’t explicitly lay out exactly why it’s terrible. It merely illustrates how it works, portrays people using it for a variety of reasons, and then lets the audience decide how it feels about it. This is all intentional—Aaron and Justin have expressly stated they didn’t want to push too hard on the point that Dark Magic is wrong, instead leaving it for fans to make up their own minds. As a result, some fans sincerely believe there’s nothing wrong with it.

And that’s why we have Claudia. Someone who is sweet and sincere, relatable enough that you picture being friends with.

Someone who also sees nothing wrong with Dark Magic, defends using it, and even tries to use it for supposedly good reasons.

Because there’s no explicit reason given for why Dark Magic is so uniquely evil, the onus is on us, the viewers, to figure this out on our own.

There have been several fan attempts at explaining why Dark Magic is so bad, but for me, at least, I always felt we were missing something.

It might be wrong because it requires Dark Mages to sacrifice innocent creatures. But then again, humans in the real world consume animals all the time.

The logical response to this is that unlike, for instance, eating, Dark Magic is not natural nor necessary. However, we do all sorts of unnatural things with animals as well. For instance, we’ve created animal glue, whale oil for lamps, and leather from cattle. We’ve used creatures as working animals as well as for their cells to develop cures and vaccines. Without arguing that Dark Magic is defensible, this just helps illustrate the larger point that there must be something else that makes Dark Magic worse than any of this.

Another argument I’ve heard is that it permanently destroys magical habitats. The reason why the Human Kingdoms are much less magical than Xadia is that Dark Mages have poached and pillaged all the creatures they could. This could all very well be true, but it’s also what human beings do on the regular in the real world; as a rule, wherever industrial civilization lays down its roots, animal extinctions follow, intentionally or not. If Dark Magic is supposed to be an indictment of the way our society works today and the ecological problems we’ve caused, then we deserve it.

But many of us (hopefully) are working to change that, even if it means making life harder for us. The solution to climate change ultimately comes in the form of learning to live sustainably and in harmony with the world around us. One day, we’ll find a balance to our way of life, but if we can, why can’t Dark Mages? Why can’t Dark Magic users learn to moderate and regulate their behavior the way we could, and sustainably find ways to use the same magic that elves and dragons take for granted?

It also doesn’t help that characters who hate Dark Magic the most are also hypocritical about it. Sol Regem argues that Dark Magic causes the death of innocent creatures…while threatening to burn down a city filled with innocent people. Perhaps he opposes Dark Magic, not for ethical or benevolent reasons, but because it shifts the balance of power too much in favor of these so-called “lesser beings.” So, we can’t take his assessment of Dark Magic with anything more than a grain of salt.

But, at the end of the day, Dark Magic is a bad thing. Even if we can’t place our finger on exactly why, we know there’s just something wrong with it.

And that’s where Claudia comes in.

She too doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with Dark Magic— Why should she? It’s no different than anything else humans do, it helps keep people alive, and keeps us from starving and being helpless. Whether you eat them or take their magic, they’re just a resource.

But over time, as she relies more on Dark Magic as her universal problem-solver, we see her cross more and more ethical boundaries.

In most of the first two seasons, Claudia’s uses of Dark Magic come entirely from whatever she happens to carry in her bag or little critters she finds here or there.

And, for the most part, she tries to do the right thing. Claudia understands how powerful Zym could one day become, and from her perspective, there is a risk that he could, in her words, reign “death and destruction down on all of us.”

Claudia honestly believes that finding the Dragon Prince and bringing the princes home is what’s best for Katolis. Initially, she believes that Rayla had kidnapped the boys, and later she still insists her actions are for the greater good.

She’s willing to cross certain lines, such as manipulating and betraying Callum and Ezran, but shows signs that she regrets doing so.

But she starts off at crossing these relatively smaller moral lines, before working her way to more reprehensible behaviors. By the end of S2, she crosses a line when she uses a living creature to cure Soren’s paralysis.

After this moment, we see that she’s willing to justify an ever-growing list of horrible actions without any regrets. Whether it’s overthrowing and imprisoning Ezran, wiping out Lux Aurea, or turning the entire army into mindless rage-fueled minions, and even possibly letting Viren’s illusion strike down Ezran.

By the time she resurrects Viren, most likely by using a poor unfortunate elf who stumbled upon her, she’s past the point of feeling remorse for what she feels she has to do.

And why?

She places all of her faith in Viren because he’s family. She values her family above all else, and finds that Dark Magic is an easy, reliable way to keep it all together.

As a result, her character’s arc helps show what’s fundamentally wrong with Dark Magic—because it’s such an easy fix to all her problems, Claudia is tempted to lean on Dark Magic in more unethical ways.

In Lord Acton’s famous maxim, power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.

And Dark Magic is power incarnate.

Dark Magic is far more versatile than Primal Magic. Whereas Primal Magic lets a mage use spells by harmonizing with nature, Dark Magic is simply about harnessing power in its raw form.

It’s not merely a shortcut that lets you bypass having an Arcanum or a Primal Stone. Certain practices within Dark Magic are not possible elsewhere.

If Callum had mastered Sky Magic by the time Rayla goes to save Pyrrah, he could have made short work of Soren and his forces with his winged form, but actually freeing the dragon from its chains would have still been no easy task.

But with Dark Magic, all Callum needed was a spell. A single spell and the chains are turned into snakes. The soldiers are driven away, and the dragon is free.

You can’t do that with Primal Magic.

We haven’t seen a limit to what Dark Magic can do for you, provided you have the materials. It can swap souls.

Or take them.

It can provide safe passage across the Breach.

It could taint or even destroy sources of Primal Magic.

Dark Magic isn’t bad just because it relies on sacrificing creatures. It’s bad because it tempts users with the power to redesign and reorganize the fabric of the world around them, potentially at the expense of Primal Sources themselves.

Dark!Callum sums up this temptation perfectly:

“You can have unlimited power. And you can choose what to do with that power. You can make a real difference in the world!”

And sadly, it’s a temptation that Claudia falls for time and time again. Once Claudia wields this power, she’s tempted to abuse it, even if it just begins as an attempt to protect her loved ones. And the more she abuses it, the harder it is to stop.

She shows that the temptation to use Dark Magic and how it distorts the world is what makes the practice so terrible and so terrifying that it shouldn’t be used in any circumstance.

@batfamfan1(who gave me permission to bring up our conversation here) had argued that Claudia’s use of Dark Magic was different from Viren and Aaravos, because she at least uses Dark Magic for good (or what she sees as good). That is, she cures or protects her family.

However, I’d argue that it’s not as simple as that. Claudia indeed sacrifices a deer because she wanted to cure Soren, but had she ever considered what Soren wanted? There’s a reason why, for instance, doctors disclose all relevant facts and treatments to a patient and let them make an informed decision, even if the doctor believes only one of those treatments is the best option. It’s not just about a cure, it’s about the agency of the patient. This becomes even more important when it’s not a professional responsibility to a patient, but a duty to respect the free will of someone you love.

Claudia never respects Soren’s agency. Even when he’s come to terms with his condition, she has not. She wants to keep trying to find a cure even while he’s beginning to move on. And, when she does find a cure, she never tells him about it beforehand, never tells him what it would cost, and never tries to get his approval.

This is different from Rayla in 2x08 who, in spite of knowing it’s a bad idea to let Ezran leave on his own, lets him go. Or Callum, who, in spite of thinking that Rayla staying on the Spire is a bad idea, simply lays out all the relevant information to Rayla and lets her make the decision for herself.

This is because, when you love or care about someone, that has to include letting them make their own choices, even if you don’t agree.

Claudia never does this with Soren because, again, it’s not about him, but about her. She has a personal need, however tragic, to keep her family together and healthy.

She’ll do what she can to fill that need, even if she has to play goddess to do so.

For that reason, she isn’t using Dark Magic for someone else’s benefit but her own. Much like Viren, whose stated goal to defend humanity was really just a cover for his desire to be powerful, Claudia’s goal to protect her family is really about protecting her state of mind. To do that, she needs to become powerful as well.

Her inability to see just what’s wrong with Dark Magic, combined with her need to maintain this portrait of a healthy family alive, means she will always be tempted to try another Dark Magic spell that will simply cure everything and will never look back once she tries it.

This is different than, for instance, Callum. As I describe here, he’s seen the world that Rayla shows him and begins to see magic the way she does. It’s not a tool; it’s a phenomenon, a vibrance or a spirit to things.

He understands, at least in an unstated way, that there’s something fundamentally wrong about Dark Magic, because it threatens that vibrancy.

Interestingly, unlike Claudia, who sees it as an easy solution to everything, Callum is suspicious because it’s too easy:

“But that’s just it! Too easy! Even though I know it’s wrong.”

Because of this, Claudia’s character arc helps illuminate what’s wrong with Dark Magic, even if the show doesn’t go out of its way to tell us. It’s a temptation for people who want to be powerful, and it makes them just powerful enough to abuse it.

And before you know it, you’ve lost your way.