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#also i know a lot of people also send me messages like this
icyg4l · 22 hours
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October 2024 Predictions
Hello beautiful people! Today’s pick a card reading is going to be what you can expect from October 2024. If you resonate with this reading, please don’t hesitate to book a reading with me. Refer to my guidelines and my booking site before doing so. Please help a broke college student out, if you can lol! But anyway, let’s get on with the PAC. Without further ado, please select your pile!
Top Left-to-Bottom Right: (1-4)
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Pile One: Somebody’s gonna be having a lot of fun. I can tell that you need moments of relaxation, but also to party! You will get invited into a Halloween party, but please do not get shit-faced. You may end up in the hospital. I feel like you’ll be playing around with different methods of manifesting, if you’re actively manifesting something tangible (a car, new clothes/makeup, etc). You should not get too specific with their manifestations. Leave the why’s/how’s up to the Universe or whatever you believe in. Some of you could be wearing a Santa Muerte necklace or worship Santa Muerte. You may have a dream in which she sends you a message, telling you not to worry. She’s got it. This pile needs to practice safe sex!! Some of y’all are celibate but will soon be giving it up, lol. If you have a partner with a penis, you may find yourself being more fertile than usual. If not, then you should still practice safe sex. Be communicative with your partner’s and thoroughly wash yourself and any objects that you may use during the act. And of course, have fun! Also, some of you will have a dream that will spark a new idea. I get major Pisces energy from this pile. Why are y’all so horny lol??? Don’t lose sight of reality this month. Curveballs will be thrown but you just have to stay put. 
Cards Used: Ace of Cups. 2 of Discs. The Hanged Man. 9 of Cups. The High Priestess. The Moon.
Pile Two: I heard the word “glorious” as I was shuffling for this pile. Pile Two, you are free to do whatever you please. After a time of trials, you will finally feel triumphant. You have been waiting for this moment: to feel uninhibited and abundant. You are going to meet someone that will help open doors for you so that you can receive more clientele, if you are looking to start a business. For others of you, you will meet someone who is well-connected to different people and you may find a few friends/a lover. If it’s a lover, it is something that will be short-lived. This connection will help you get more comfortable in a new environment. Some of you could have moved to a different state/city (congratulations!). It feels chaotic right now, but right now you have to remember that help is on the way. Do not try to do everything on your own. If you do, then you will feel overwhelmed. This month, you will get more familiar with traveling in your downtown area/around the city. Be sure to keep something on you (bear spray, a pocket knife, graffiti spray, amulets, Nazars, etc). Be prepared for what is to come but don’t stress out over the small details (especially if you’re working on a project that will benefit you monetarily). It’s easier said than done, I know. Your plans will come into fruition as long as you keep your eyes on the prize. By any means necessary. 
Cards Used: Princess of Swords. Queen of Swords. Wheel of Fortune. 2 of Cups. Death. The Emperor (RX). 
Pile Three: Someone is about to level up! While you are doing better for yourself, some people will not be able to be in your presence anymore. You must cut them loose. If you have a hunch about a friend, specifically if they have any Aquarius placements, then it’s time to cut them loose. You’re too good for them and you know it. I feel like this is a friend outside of your friendship circle. You were warned about them before. Aside from the friendship drama, this month will be a great month to romanticize the little things. Fall may be your favorite season. Being in tune with nature will help you manifest more beauty. Staying grounded = staying beautiful. This month will go by very quickly for you. Some of you will be baking cookies and spending more time with your mother figure. Some of you may have to give advice to an impulsive, younger person to prevent them from making a huge mistake (possibly involving their friends and/or their schoolwork). There is nothing wrong with playing the role of a nurturer. Embrace it. And lastly, if there is anyone or anything that brings you chaos, it is time for you to leave it behind. Starting anew can be scary but this will change your life for the better by making room for what is to come. Out with the old, in with the new!
Cards Used: 3 of Cups. 7 of Swords. 5 of Wands. 6 of Cups. 8 of Wands. The Empress. 
Pile Four: Are you catching a coach flight via Southwest/Spirit Airlines? Are you taking an Amtrak train soon? I can tell you’re really over the bs, lol. I heard “catching flights, not feelings”. But unfortunately for you, you will be catching feelings. Be open to being in a loving relationship. It is safe for you to love. They could be very reminiscent of your loving father figure. You may meet this person as you are traveling. It is possible that you are moving to wherever you plan to travel to. If you are, then you will feel content with your decision. Right now, you are in a waiting period. The momentum is about to pick back up for you. Consider the reality of where you are going and compare it to your head. At this time, you could find yourself being anxious at times, questioning if you are ready, and you in fact are. Things are aligning for you. You could find that people in your position are landing on your for you page on TikTok. You could find that people are wearing/successfully obtaining what it is that you want. A lot of you want a new house/apartment. This will help you gain the confidence to fully pursue your goals and dreams. Don’t put them on hold for anything or anyone. I am channeling the scene where Fiona finally leaves Chicago in Shameless. 
Cards Used: The Lovers, The Emperor, Prince of Cups, The World, 8 of Cups, 4 of Swords.
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galvanizedfriend · 2 days
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hi! so i’ve read pretty much all of your works and loved them so much. your writing is amazing and some of the best fan fiction i’ve read.
the only ones i haven read from you are the wolf series but i keep hearing so many good things about it.
i know it’s a TO rewrite with caroline instead of hayley (and i could look past the baby plot if it means klaroline) but i’ve tried watching the show a few times and hated hayley’s personality and some other nuances to the show and o was wondering if The Wolf is Caroline in place of Hayley but her personality and the way she acts in situations is how Hayley does in the show, or if it’s very much so Caroline if she were put in the position Hayley is in? if that makes sense
First of all, thank you very much, nonnie! ❤️ Glad you enjoy my little fics 🥰 Your question makes perfect sense, yes.
The short answer is: no, Caroline is not just Hayley in a wig 😂 If you're asking me, I'm obviously going to say it's completely different! I'm biased, but I also know how much work I put into it, so I know all the ways TW deviates from the show. I think Caroline is very IC in this, if I may say so myself, so obviously not Hayley, and every time I've gone back to re-read parts of this fic I have had a great time 😂 So personally, I think this is a very entertaining story, but again, it's my story lol Other people might be able to give you less biased opinions.
If you hate hate The Originals, there is still a chance you won't like this anyway, but I do think it's very different, and I have a longer answer if you're interested.
Under the cut because I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! Be careful what you guys ask me, you might get a freaking bible as a reply.
I have become deffensive of this fic over the years because I have received some very nasty comments in the past (not saying your question is offensive in any way, nonnie, this is a very valid question!). I can respect people not liking it, I can respect this isn't everybody's cup of tea, and that's totally fine. What I can't stand is when people tell me I haven't done anything to the show, or that Klaus and Caroline are exactly the same as Klaus and Hayley. I did not spend the amount of time I have spent overthinking and overwriting this shit into something that makes much more sense and is way more fleshed out than the show ever was to hear from people that I've done nothing. I can't even list all the ways TW deviates from the show, or Caroline from Hayley, because I'd be here for the rest of the day.
As the person writing the story, I know exactly how much thought I have put into it, how many original scenes and dialogues and shit I write each chapter, and how much of what I've taken from the show I have cracked my brain to twist and change in a way that fits. I have spent more time of my life overthinking the crappy writing on this show in order to add context and find correlations and make connections and rationalize characters' behaviors and add depth to their actions and their thoughts, and let me tell you, nonnie, it was not easy. It's unbelievable how weak the writing for TO is, the actors do a lot of the work all by themselves. My friends who were with me during this time know how fucking annoying I was lol
This was me sending messages to @definedareasofuncertainty in the middle of the night to explain an idea:
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I realize I can't expect readers to feel the same way, everyone is entitled to their opinions and I can only be responsible for what I write, not for how people are going to understand it, but I can't help the way I feel because, to me, it's insane when someone reads this and thinks it's the same. The entire premise of The Wolf is different. It's never about the baby, the baby is almost background noise. The Originals starts and ends around Hope, but The Wolf is not about baby Eve (that's the baby's name), it's about Caroline. Everything is about Caroline, and about Klaus' feelings for her.
A lot of what I think is wrong with TO is that it just doesn't make sense. The things they do, the choices they make, the way they relate to each other just doesn't work, and what I tried to do was rewrite it in a way that it did make sense, not only moving the story forward, but also, and especially, the characters, their motivations and their relationships. I feel like TO was always going to be a better show if they'd focused more on characters than on plot, because that's what I was there for from the start, the family and their bonds, not undercover werewolf packs or baby-stealing aunts. But the writers sacrificed the characters so much for the sake of some arguably very silly plots (don't even get me started here…). While I do keep the plot points, what I tried to do (and hopefully succeeded, at least to a certain degree) was to bring the characters to the front and push the action and enemies and wars and such to the background. So instead of having the characters reacting to the plot, I have the plot serving the characters, if that makes sense. I kept the parts that interested me and that I felt I could use to serve my purposes and threw out everything I could dispense with.
And what I was aiming for first and foremost was to get Caroline the center stage I always felt she deserved, and the love story she could've had with Klaus. So the whole thing is really about that. S1 is the two of them sorting through their differences and understanding their feelings for each other, S2 is the two of them negotiating an actual relationship, S3 is them being married. That's it. I had the best time writing about the two of them through the eyes of the other characters, to have Elijah and Rebekah and Kol and Marcel witnessing and monologuing about Klaroline, all these different points of view on them. And my actual favorite part of the entire story is the part that isn't The Originals at the end of TW2.
So anyway, my point with my TO rewriting was never to fix everything that is wrong with the show. I wasn't writing the version of TO I wish it had been, my ideal spin off. I could've done that, but I didn't, because it's not what the project was ever about when I started. I wanted to keep the show as close to what it is as possible, whilst trying to prove a point (to myself, but also, hopefully, to some other people) that there was a way that this show could've still kept me invested. I'm an easy girl, just give me faves on their journey towards endgame and I'm satisfied, you know.
If you made it to the end of this, congratulations, nonnie 😂 You wanted a yes or no answer and you got a STATEMENT. I'm very sorry for my dumbass response, I've just become *protective* of this fic. If you do read it, I hope you'll find it enjoyable. If not, that's ok too! There are many amazing fics out there for you to be wasting your time on something that won't spark joy for you ❤️ And thanks again for reading my other fics, that's very lovely of you!
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doublejango · 3 days
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how do you allow yourself to write without becoming depressed by the whole process?
Hopefully my answer will be enough, but if you need to ask follow-up questions man, by all means, feel free.
When it comes to writing for RP, I don't get depressed by the whole process because I love it. I really, really love it. I may be ungodly slow, and definitely try my partners' patience when it comes to that, but I love it. I love reading people's replies, love writing my own. I love reading other threads that have nothing to do with me. I love reading other people's headcanons. Or when a crazy magic!Anon happens, like when Lucid ( @brokendreamscreation ) was turned human and just landed splat into the forests of the Pacific Northwest, I adore trying to keep up on that. I often can't, just because I am too busy during the day, but whenever I catch a glimpse? It's wonderful. Or, although they're someone who is pretty busy with university, when @aroyaltailor pops on and mentions something about their muse, it makes my day.
RP is about the writing for me, but also a lot about the people. I just really like seeing people happy, being part of their fun, even if a lot of the time I am just the audience cheering them on. There's nothing depressing about that to me. The hardest part, what does make me sad, is trying to choose well when it comes to mutuals. I want to follow everyone back, but know that I can't. If I can tell that we're not going to mesh because of differences in rules, or if someone just swamps the dash with endless content that's going to make it way too hard for me to see other people's posts (nothing wrong with that! it's just a difference in styles and priorities), I have to regretfully just not follow, or not follow back. I always feel like an asshole for that, not gonna lie, especially when they have already followed me. I'm not mutuals-only though, so in theory if someone wanted to write together and we weren't mutuals? I would absolutely be on board.
Writing doesn't depress me because coming here, even when it is hard, is an escape, a happy place. I was depressed the other day when I couldn't make sentences make sense--they all felt so slippery--but that was the fresh concussion messing with me, causing its own depression, not something resulting from the writing process. But even with that? I am so lucky, so fucking lucky, to be blessed with just the kindest damn mutuals, who have been so supportive and sweet even when I was feeling useless because of the concussion. There are some really special people to me, who even when they are posting with someone else entirely, just seeing them pop up on the dash gives me that little spark of joy that nothing can snuff out, like @botanikos and @visage-of-hell. There are people who know their muses backwards and forwards, who manage to take characters that a lot of the fandom sometimes seem to ignore, like @moxxietude who has just absolutely taken Moxxie and breathed so much life into him, and who could definitely convince me she was part of Viv's team if she chose to, her writing is that solid, that incredible. I just, like?? Fuck, man. And @poisonedspider is a fucking babe--Strode you're magnificent, don't fight me on this--and @infxnatum is one of those unsung heroes of the RPC, who will always go out of his way to send people messages, even when he doesn't get love in return. I feel like somehow, I landed in the best fandom of all, surrounded by the best people? And like I'm being a monster for not @'ing everyone, I am so, so sorry. I know the natural inclination is to feel left out but please, please, I love you fuckers, don't feel left out, I am just rambling so much and realize I need to end this. And just. Yes.
So, TL;DR?
It doesn't depress me because I am surrounded by the most wonderfully uplifting people, and I will do fucking anything for this fandom, I adore you guys.
And if you meant writing as in the writing I do for work--I am really lucky in that the majority of my content is queer, so I get to roll around in feelings and love for my own community. There are occasional non-queer things, like a short story here or there, or a random zoom lecture I was paid to give, or contract pieces--usually articles, always under dry af NDA contracts--that kind of suck sometimes, but being able to produce content for my community gets me through the hard times <3
(Also, I fight with depression constantly, so writing doesn't need to serve depression up to me. We're bros by now, and constantly knocking each other around).
How about you though, are you like--are you doing okay? Are there points you want to talk about? You can IM me, friend, always.
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doubledeadstudio · 5 months
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yooo!!! trying to tldr all my feelings here because ur game just temporarily lifted me out of depression. i dont usually leave asks either so you KNOW you touched a nerve.
i roared thorough the whole game. straight up wild noises came out of me. i love it. i love it w my whole being. it feels so goddamn genuine (prolly because i vibe a lot w character-driven stories) BUT STILL!!!! the dialogue has such a perfect flow i wanna chug it all down and pull out a rain totem to ask for more. just absolutely flawless. i havent connected w another writer's craft like this in a long time and im so fucking excited for the rest of the game!!!!!!!!!!
btw not to neglect your visual skills, im 100% black's bitch. from the moment i saw those hate tits n his pretty lips. but also him being a vegetarian forced to eat humans. as a veggie ive never been hornier for another man's will to live. add to that his angry emo eyes and the BEEF on this man and you have my ideal type. just 2 enby mascs chilling in a hot tub 5 feet apart cause there s corpses everywhere
aight sorry for the long ass message but i think you deserve the praise gfskdgdjg
Oh my god, this is so sweet and thoughtful, thank you so much. I'm glad it lifted you up from your depression. It was wonderful waking up to this!
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inkskinned · 1 year
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it is all chaos and entropy. the thing is that the chaos and entropy make it beautiful and lovely.
yes, it's true that nature and the universe are uncaring and unspecific, and that is terrifying. i have lived through some of the unfairness - i got born like this, with my body caving into itself, with this ironic love of dance when i sometimes can't stand up for longer than 15 minutes. i am a poet with hands that are slowly shutting down - i can't hold a pen some days. recently i found a dead bird on our front porch. she had no visible injuries. she had just died, the way things die sometimes.
it is also true that nature and the universe are uncaring and unspecific, and that is wonderful. the sheer happenstance that makes rain turn into a rainbow. the impossible coincidence of finding your best friend. i have made so many mistakes and i have let myself down and i have harmed other people by accident. nature moves anyway. on the worst day of my life she delivers me an orange juice sunset, as if she is saying try again tomorrow.
how vast and unknowing the universe! how small we are! isn't that lovely. the universe has given us flowers and harp strings and the shape of clouds. how massive our lives are in comparison to a grasshopper. the world so bright, still undiscovered. even after 30 years of being on this earth, i learned about a new type of animal today: the dhole.
chance echoing in my life like a harmony between two people talking. do you think you and i, living in different worlds but connected through the internet - do you think we've ever seen the same butterfly? they migrate thousands of miles. it's possible, right?
how beautiful the ways we fill the vastness of space. i love that when large amounts of people are applauding in a room, they all start clapping at the same time. i love that the ocean reminds us of our mother's heartbeat. i love that out of all the colors, chlorophyll chose green. i love the coincidences. i love the places where science says i don't know, but it just happens.
"the universe doesn't care about you!" oh, i know. that's okay. i care about the universe. i will put my big stupid heart out into it and watch the universe feast on it. it is not painful. it is strange - the more love you pour into the unfeeling world, the more it feels the world loves you in return. i know it's confirmation bias. i think i'm okay if my proof of kindness is just my own body and my own spirit.
i buried the bird from our porch deep in the woods. that same day, an old friend reaches out to me and says i miss you. wherever you go, no matter how bad it gets - you try to do good.
#writeblr#warm up#i can't write rn but i have SO much words in here bc im reading the chorus of dragons books#(just started book 4)#and this woman's writing is just LIVING in my brain. let me out!!!#(i read roughly like 2-4 books a week usually bc i go on long walks with my dog but when a book is REALLY good like. it eats my life. )#anyway ...... so like here's a story that idk i've tried to explain to other people as being wild#but maybe im the only one who thinks it is wild???#so i play pokemon go (i just started in jan) bc i love pokemon and as i have mentioned i walk goblin for like an hour in the morning#and i don't like a lot of fitness trackers due to the fact it makes me .sad. but i also wanted the little digital rewards. enter pokemon go#anyway so they make you make friends to complete quests. so i used a reddit thread. i do not usually use reddit. i don't have an acct#i lurked. i just googled like ''pokemon go reddit '' and randomly added a bunch of numbers#i was on that page for all of 15 minutes. there are THOUSANDS of responses on that page.#here's what's wild: in that group of people. even though i am not on reddit and it was one random event once#it turns out one of those people lives in the town i live in. or at least very close. i only know this because#when we send each other gifts. it's from the same freaking area.#i can't ask them to meet up bc pokemon go doesn't have a messaging app lol but like . what are the fucking chances that#a random person posts in a random reddit thread and HAPPENS to get added by someone ELSE from their SAME TOWN#who by pure fucking CHANCE is ALSO playing pokemon go and looking for friends#i googled it there's only 42000 people in my broad region. the .......... smallness ! of the world!!!
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canisalbus · 8 months
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I really appriciate how often Machete is depicted struggling and feeling like a burden, while still being loved and supported by Vasco. It gives the top tier angst of "i'm not good enough, I'm not worth it" but you frame it in such a way where it's clear that's just how he *feels* and is not how things really are, but also it's so nice to see someone who struggles quite often in a loving and unique relationship that suits them. The narrative of not being able to love or be loved unless you're consistently healthy is really tiring lol.
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I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently
#facebook always does that 'here's a post from this day 8 years ago' thing. and I see old comments interacting#with people and it's so like.. OOOOO~~ where are they now?? what's going on? how much have they changed as people?#how much are they the same? this is fascinating. i should contact them!!' but then it's like... take that to it's logical conclusion though#you would contact them and then IF they even responded it would take you 80 years to respond and then they would#think there was something wrong or that you were trying to be insulting or something. To contact anyone I need to include an 85 page#disclaimer of all of my social issues & mental illness things. 'If i take 3 weeks to reply I promise it has nothing to do with u' etc lol#THIS is why more people need to be into phone calls/voice calls/some form of audio real time communication/etc.#I think one of the main things that's hard about messaging through text for me is it's so unscheduled and open ended#(plus it takes forever if you're talking about anything in detail and gets very long very quickly)#because like you can send a message and then just get a reply whenever. and then you're expected to reply back whenever#so it's like you never know when the response will come or when a new obligation to reply can come up? so it's like this sudden thing with#no outline?? if that makes sense. whereas a phone call is very like 'hello let's schedule a call from 10am - 2pm on thursday'. And you know#EXACTLY when the interaction will start and EXACTLY when it will end and you can plan around it in your schedule easily.#I have the reverse thing of a lot of people (how people don't pick up phone calls/hate calls/only text)#I would literally talk on the phone with a stranger. I would have a discord voice chat with someone I barely know.#if someone I hardly even remember from elementary school asked to have a voice call with me out of nowhere I would do it.#but if a stranger MESSAGED me?? or someone I barely know sent me a TEXT or something?? I will never reply probably#It's just too vague and weird. and you can't read voice tone over text. and the interaction could last forever with no clear end#point and etc. etc. But a call is like. set. established. clear boundaries. you can read the flow of conversation better. rapport. etc. etc#I get that I guess people feel more anonymous or distanced over text?? but you can have fake phone numbers on the computer. or do like disc#rd calls. or zoom without a camera or etc. etc. Also the distance that's present in text is BAD distance because it just means that tone is#not conveyed properly and you will never truly get a sense of the person's conversational vibe or mannerisms or how well you really click.#ANYWAY ghgjh...... I'm so so so interested in concepts of like.. How did that one kid I used to talk to in elementary school#but then they moved away in 5th grade - how did they end up? what are they doing now?? etc. etc. Like despite the severe social anhedonia#and general lack of connection with others I'm just really fascinated in like.. idk. the human development of it all and like#the concept of how we're actually a million different people through the course of our lives ever evolving in different iterations and etc.#PLUS again. i love nostalgia. sometimes old peple you know might remember a shared memory or can tell you about something you forgot#or etc. like it's SUCH A COOL THING in CONCEPT but I am too socially inept generally speaking lol. which people I still talk to today are#familiar with my 'phone call once every few months' communication style. but strangers would just be like... wtf. And I don't blame them#Sure I literally cannot change the physical health + brain issues i have - but also I know enough to not put others through that lol
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tardis--dreams · 1 month
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Last night i dreamt that the whole chat history between me and my most beloved ex-coworker had been deleted. Truly one of the most horrifying nightmares i've had in a while
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kxllerblond · 1 year
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Happy Tuesday everyone, I will now be unloading unsolicited opinions about the RPC.
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People take 'This is a hobby!!' way too far to the point you are not taking into account other real people also exist and are only thinking about yourself and it can come across as scummy and self-absorbed and a lot of people use the 'just a hobby!' to excuse this shitty behavior and an inability to communicate with other hobby enjoyers like adults.
No one should get mad at people for dropping threads or not being active, but it's also super shitty to just ghost people and go 'teehee just a hobby so you aren't allowed to be upset!'. Like, yeah, you have limited time and a real life but so does?? everyone else on here?? It's super not cool to just invalidate people who are upset their limited time is, in their view, being wasted.
Obviously, I'm not defending people that don't just unfollow or block and move on and who get passive aggro about it all. And I'm also not calling out the people that don't do much but are like PRESENT to some degree even if it's just ooc shitposting.
I mainly mean the people I see who refuse to do threads, to answer asks, to communicate when stuff is being dropped to some degree, to participate and be social in any capacity and then get kinda pissy when no one wants to send them shit anymore. Like you are entitled to exist and participate in this hobby as you see fit....but it is a social hobby. You HAVE to give to get and if people pin you as someone who only takes, they're going to stop giving. None of us have little meow meows that are so interesting that we can just expect people to frolic to them and gush about them and shower them with interaction without some sort of reciprocation.
And, frankly, I don't think there's room to complain when that happens. You can't have your cake and eat it too in this scenario. You can 'this is just a hobby!' your way through things how you like, but you also have to realize the consequences of that and you can't be upset when they come down on you and your blog.
#like I KNOW there are ppl here i am chill with who do not interact with me as often as before because i am a notorious thread dropper#and not everyone can do that short thread. drop. new thread. drop. manner of rapid rping#and thats FINE. i accept that consequence.#and there are ppl im chill with who i dont send memes to much anymore because they never answer them or never return the favor#doesnt mean im mad about it doesnt mean i fault them for it. ppl have lives. but that the consequence and it involves me redirecting my tim#and energy to send memes to ppl who DO engage in return etc#there's just been this sudden surge in like....entitlement ive noticed. and it's just sort of co-opd what used to be a message#directed at ppl that were being demanded to reply to things the same day etc like it was a legit /good/ message#now you cant even like unfollow someone without them being like ITS JUST A HOBBY HOW DARE YOU UNFOLLOW hostility because someone is choosin#to take their business elsewhere so to speak so they can have fun with this hOBBY. its so...weird ykno#we dont owe anyone anything but a lot of ppl forget the second half of that which is#yeah but other people dont owe us anything in turn either#cw long post#cw negativity#well i mean only if you see urself in this post i guess OOP. otherwise man idk#dont get pissed at ppl for not hobbying to ur speed or standards#but also dont be surprised to learn ppl are different and have different paces and shit and WILL move on#if theyre not getting enjoyment out of the pace you're hobbying at#ur not entitled to their attention just like they're not entitled to urs ykno
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llycaons · 4 months
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i think you might just need to go outside
you're the one who sent three anonymous messages to a stranger on the internet about a reddit sub full of ao3 fans about something she posted two years ago anon so idk maybe I'm not the one who needs to log off
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iknaenmal · 1 year
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actually you know what. my blog my posts i can post about whatever i want
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cookies-over-yonder · 7 months
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cookies sad hour whining hour ignore me (<- actually loves attention)
#i'm sad because i wish people would message me first more#i'm always the person who messages first#but when other people send me messages it makes me feel like oh you actually like talking to me and wanted to reach out and talk to me and#are giving me attention without me messaging first#i am a person who needs a lot of attention#and i don't mind asking for it bc i'm the kind of person who says what i want and need#but i get really sad at it sometimes because#when i'm feeling depressed or anxious then i isolate myself and if other people were to reach out to me first more then it would be less#likely to happen#like i even just want people to check in on me every now and then. ask me how i'm feeling if i've mentioned going through a depressive#episode#or whatever mental troubles#idk why i'm feeling so emotional about this suddenly#like i don't mind messaging people first but i guess when it comes to me struggling badly then i WISH people would message me to ask me#how i'm doing#@ all my friends reading this i am not upset at anyone at all btw i'm just lamenting about being a mentally ill extrovert#almost no one messages me first which is whatever cuz i'm chatty and used to initiating conversations but i guess it also makes me sad#i dont ask people to because i'm not about to force people to be doing something that is uncomfortable for them#i do ask people to check in on me though if they know i'm having an episode#idk if it rly happens though#i just sometimes fear that if i stopped pulling my weight in relationships due to a mental health crisis that all of my friendships will di#because i'm the one who initiates everything#again i'm not upset at anyone i'm just lamenting about being a mentally ill extrovert#vent#you can heart this or reply or whatever idc but rbs are off for obvious reasons
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woundedheartwithin · 8 months
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Something y’all need to know about me is, if I message you or tag you or send you an ask or comment or address you in the tags, I am NOT expecting an answer! Not ever, and I mean that. I will not get upset if you never reply to it, and this is for two reasons:
1. I know intimately how stressful and scary and exhausting notifications can be, especially when you’re not feeling so great mentally/physically/emotionally, and I will automatically assume this is the case if I don’t get a reply, even if I see you actively posting on my dash
2. I have already forgotten that I sent you something
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pepprs · 1 year
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misery despair suffering etc etc
#purrs#delete later#two thoughts about separate things both causing the despair. thought / thing number 1 which i think ive talked abt on here many times before#but im saying it again: i am not good at being a friend in the ways my friends need me to be a friend. and in the ways friendship is thought#of societally i guess. i isolate myself constantly. i pull away from the opportunity to get closer with people i don’t know as well. i don’t#text back and then when im finally ready it’s been so egregiously long since it was appropriate for me to respond or reciprocate or#whatever it is i am so crushed by guilt and shame and embarrassment that i can’t bring myself to do it. i have so many unread messages and i#wont even let myself open them. and ive been like this for years. and i hurt someone very badly many years ago by being that way. and it was#more complicated than that but sometimes i remember it and how i acted and how i treated them. and i wonder sometimes if they check up on me#and i don’t want to be immature or weird or whatever for talking about it or wondering that openly. but if you do read this and you know who#you are: i am so sorry. i meant whst i said that i would never stop wishing you well and hoping the very best for you. and i hope you have#all of that and more. and im so sorry for not being brave enough to communicate with you or stick around. i really really am. and im sorry#to all the other people i have hurt by pulling away and shutting down and shrinking inside myself and not talking. ik it’s weird to post#that instead of just telling people directly but it’s the guilt. i am fully aware of how many people / groups of people i owe things to /#for but also just… miss. a lot. and want to talk to even though i won’t let myself. i don’t know why im like this and i don’t know how to#stop. but im sorry im not a good friend or even acquaintance or community member. and im talking to everyone now i guess including anyone#reading this bc god knows how many asks and messages i have on here. im sorry. i want to be a better friend. but i also never have spoons. a#and i also want to stay spoonless and cocooned on myself forever and never come out. and i hate that. i want to be a friend. i want to be#kind and giving and loving and generous in the ways you all have been with me. i want to hang out with people and send messages and be there#to lift people up and celebrate with them. but all i can muster is tapping like on social media and it’s horrific. i have gifts to make and#hello / checking in messages to reply to and roleplay starters to post and i just can’t do it right now and im scared i’ll never be able to#again. but it’s a self fulfilling prophecy. if i say i can’t do it then iwont. it’s not enougu to just be aware of it i have to act on it#and change it. but im exhausted and hurting right now and i have been for years and i need to heal first but what if this is healing.#idk. i rambled on that for much longer than i thought i would so nowim gonna say the second thing in a separate post. and it’ll be weird to#post about that in light of this and it’ll be weird to post this at all. but its been weighing on me so heavily today and i don’t want#anyone to think im ignoring them or not aware of being like this or whatever. and posting into the void is easier than telling individual#people to your faces even though i know it’s cowardly. im really truly sorry. i will try to get better once i have the strength to try.#actually yeah no not gonna say the second thing yet. it would be weird to say it now. this needs to sit a little first
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scarletfasinera · 10 months
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Anyway since I can't send an ask because of character limit and I gave up after trying to write it three different ways and it not working, I'll just. Idk write a short vague post back? I'm assuming a vague for a vague is fair (don't worry I don't want to be mean I just have no other way of navigating this situation.) Since I'm exhausted & but want to at least express my view of it.
Idk just on the off chance they see this or one of our shared mutuals shows them or something. My "weak subtext" post had absolutely nothing to do with Adam Warlock, I didn't even remember that I reblogged that poll before making my post. I had seen like six other polls after the Adam one, bc I was actively looking through the blog, that did the exact thing my post was about, the blogrunner (who shall remain anonymous) had Pointed Out in private that it was happening and gave several examples & it was distressing them so I checked the blog myself and commented on it, which was why I made the post. Not the Adam poll in particular which I didn't remember and wasn't thinking about. I do not know enough about Adam to say anything about either the text or the subtext or anything, so I just. Wouldn't? It really baffled me that it was read that way.
Anyway. Farewell beloved mutual we barely knew ye...
#txt#the “people doing that across multiple polls” thing was also why I left the “annoying notes” tag#it just happened to be on the Adam poll because I like Miles and it was ine of the first ones on the blog#I didn't even process that people wouldn't have the background context & would read it as being Very Mean to Adam Fans in particular#But honestly I should have & that's on me & I deleted the post for that reason#Anyway I have NO BEEF with Adam fans and don't know enough about him to make any posts about him#It's just VERY STRANGE to me that this happened like I didn't even think about Adam I was just blogging 😭#I wish they had like asked me for clarification or something like I'm a dumbass and oftentimes an asshole by accident.#And I get misinterpreted A LOTTTTT but I never know how to KEEP IT FROM HAPPENING#and idk. I don't like being misinterpreted & I especially don't like being vagued over misinterpretation so I feel weird about it ):#Especially from a mutual that I liked? But. I'll forget about all this in the morning.#I mean I could also just. Reblog their vague and respond to it maybe#But idk I feel like that's a Lot because I don't want to out them to my followers as Having Vagued Me#I just would LIKE to address it privately but the only way to do that is via ask but it would be too long if I'm being serious about it#And tumblr's ask limit is like 500 fucking characters or something. Idk I tried figuring out the character limit andnit cut it off after#the FIRST PART#It would have taken like 7 fucking messages to send the whole explanation#And I don't want to swamp their ask box#The only reason the explanation is so short here is because I wrote it out in an exhausted Whatever tone that clips some of the explanation#short. Which I don't think would go over well when trying to explain a misunderstanding to someone who is mad at me enough to vague me#anyway here's your reminder that you can have conversations with people instead of jumping to conclusions 😔#I mean I'm not mad and I understand retroactively why the misunderstanding happened#but also if they had even like PM'd me like “Hey if your post was about Adam I disagree bc xyz” and I would have responded like#“Oh my post wasn't about Adam at all and I didn't even realise it seemed like that sorry”#or hell if they'd even anon'd me about it#Like I'm... actually not a mean person... I'm not going to verbally assault someone for interacting with me in good faith...
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adore-gregor · 1 year
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😶‍🌫️
#dudeee#how is this happening it's so weird#lately random guys start sending me dm's over whatsapp#and today there was another one and i'm just so confused by it#how do they know me?? i don't know them not that i'm aware of#and is this a thing sending random messages to a stranger / girl you want to get to know#this was never an occurance in my life before???!!#all these years this never happened and now it's so much#how do they even get my number? and do they know me#okay this guy is in a uni group with me but another one no group#i don't know how to handle this#is it normal i'm kind of stressed out about it i mean they are strangers to me#and this guy just messaged me he wants to go on a date with me and like i don't know him he could be anyone??#feels risky i don't know what to respond if yes definetly somewhere public#i don't rly like the idea of blind dates rather people i know 🫠 like the guy i told you about#and i do like him but it's not like we're dating altough i feel there is something ...#so i should not commit to a guy i don't know if it works out either i guess#and it's also weird because yeah i go to uni i was in some courses but there are many was he even in one with me??#and i do some sports at uni and a few people i do stuff with and generally get on with almost everyone#but it's not like i go out a lot hardly ever or so many people know me?? that's not really how it is so how do they find me??#or do they send these messages to every other girl 😵‍💫#i'm also not good with the attention and really awkward accepting compliments because sometimes it's hard to grasp why someone likes me 🙃#yeah my self confidence issues#also when i asked him who he is he kind of dodged this question and went straight ahead to ask me out 🤨#i have to ask him deliberately for his name ig and maybe also a picture#but maybe them he's not my type at all and i would feel bad rejecting him for his looks i don't want to be mean#help 🤯
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