#also i just paid so many bills that i would like to not think about the amount of money i no longer have in my bank account

[iguessitsjustme]

Unpopular Opinions Ask Game

Rules: Don’t be rude, don’t ask questions you don’t want to know the answer to, don't argue with people for sharing their opinion, don't answer questions you're not comfortable answering. Breaking the rules could potentially result in you getting blocked. Let’s begin!

What’s a popular show that you didn’t enjoy?

What’s a popular ship that you didn’t enjoy?

What’s a common trope that you don’t enjoy?

What’s a common character archetype that you don’t enjoy?

What’s an unpopular show that you enjoyed when you shouldn’t have?

Have you ever dropped a popular show because you didn’t like it?

Pick a show, I will tell you something I think the show didn’t do well.

Pick a ship, I will tell you one thing I think wasn’t executed well.

Pick a trope, I’ll tell you a show that didn’t execute it well.

Pick a character archetype, I’ll tell you a show that didn’t execute it well.

[treasure-mimic]

So, let me try and put everything together here, because I really do think it needs to be talked about.

Today, Unity announced that it intends to apply a fee to use its software. Then it got worse.

For those not in the know, Unity is the most popular free to use video game development tool, offering a basic version for individuals who want to learn how to create games or create independently alongside paid versions for corporations or people who want more features. It's decent enough at this job, has issues but for the price point I can't complain, and is the idea entry point into creating in this medium, it's a very important piece of software.

But speaking of tools, the CEO is a massive one. When he was the COO of EA, he advocated for using, what out and out sounds like emotional manipulation to coerce players into microtransactions.

"A consumer gets engaged in a property, they might spend 10, 20, 30, 50 hours on the game and then when they're deep into the game they're well invested in it. We're not gouging, but we're charging and at that point in time the commitment can be pretty high."

He also called game developers who don't discuss monetization early in the planning stages of development, quote, "fucking idiots".

So that sets the stage for what might be one of the most bald-faced greediest moves I've seen from a corporation in a minute. Most at least have the sense of self-preservation to hide it.

A few hours ago, Unity posted this announcement on the official blog.

Effective January 1, 2024, we will introduce a new Unity Runtime Fee that’s based on game installs. We will also add cloud-based asset storage, Unity DevOps tools, and AI at runtime at no extra cost to Unity subscription plans this November. We are introducing a Unity Runtime Fee that is based upon each time a qualifying game is downloaded by an end user. We chose this because each time a game is downloaded, the Unity Runtime is also installed. Also we believe that an initial install-based fee allows creators to keep the ongoing financial gains from player engagement, unlike a revenue share.

Now there are a few red flags to note in this pitch immediately.

Unity is planning on charging a fee on all games which use its engine.

This is a flat fee per number of installs.

They are using an always online runtime function to determine whether a game is downloaded.

There is just so many things wrong with this that it's hard to know where to start, not helped by this FAQ which doubled down on a lot of the major issues people had.

I guess let's start with what people noticed first. Because it's using a system baked into the software itself, Unity would not be differentiating between a "purchase" and a "download". If someone uninstalls and reinstalls a game, that's two downloads. If someone gets a new computer or a new console and downloads a game already purchased from their account, that's two download. If someone pirates the game, the studio will be asked to pay for that download.

Q: How are you going to collect installs? A: We leverage our own proprietary data model. We believe it gives an accurate determination of the number of times the runtime is distributed for a given project. Q: Is software made in unity going to be calling home to unity whenever it's ran, even for enterprice licenses? A: We use a composite model for counting runtime installs that collects data from numerous sources. The Unity Runtime Fee will use data in compliance with GDPR and CCPA. The data being requested is aggregated and is being used for billing purposes. Q: If a user reinstalls/redownloads a game / changes their hardware, will that count as multiple installs? A: Yes. The creator will need to pay for all future installs. The reason is that Unity doesn’t receive end-player information, just aggregate data. Q: What's going to stop us being charged for pirated copies of our games? A: We do already have fraud detection practices in our Ads technology which is solving a similar problem, so we will leverage that know-how as a starting point. We recognize that users will have concerns about this and we will make available a process for them to submit their concerns to our fraud compliance team.

This is potentially related to a new system that will require Unity Personal developers to go online at least once every three days.

Starting in November, Unity Personal users will get a new sign-in and online user experience. Users will need to be signed into the Hub with their Unity ID and connect to the internet to use Unity. If the internet connection is lost, users can continue using Unity for up to 3 days while offline. More details to come, when this change takes effect.

It's unclear whether this requirement will be attached to any and all Unity games, though it would explain how they're theoretically able to track "the number of installs", and why the methodology for tracking these installs is so shit, as we'll discuss later.

Unity claims that it will only leverage this fee to games which surpass a certain threshold of downloads and yearly revenue.

Only games that meet the following thresholds qualify for the Unity Runtime Fee: Unity Personal and Unity Plus: Those that have made $200,000 USD or more in the last 12 months AND have at least 200,000 lifetime game installs. Unity Pro and Unity Enterprise: Those that have made $1,000,000 USD or more in the last 12 months AND have at least 1,000,000 lifetime game installs.

They don't say how they're going to collect information on a game's revenue, likely this is just to say that they're only interested in squeezing larger products (games like Genshin Impact and Honkai: Star Rail, Fate Grand Order, Among Us, and Fall Guys) and not every 2 dollar puzzle platformer that drops on Steam. But also, these larger products have the easiest time porting off of Unity and the most incentives to, meaning realistically those heaviest impacted are going to be the ones who just barely meet this threshold, most of them indie developers.

Aggro Crab Games, one of the first to properly break this story, points out that systems like the Xbox Game Pass, which is already pretty predatory towards smaller developers, will quickly inflate their "lifetime game installs" meaning even skimming the threshold of that 200k revenue, will be asked to pay a fee per install, not a percentage on said revenue.

[IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Hey Gamers!

Today, Unity (the engine we use to make our games) announced that they'll soon be taking a fee from developers for every copy of the game installed over a certain threshold - regardless of how that copy was obtained.

Guess who has a somewhat highly anticipated game coming to Xbox Game Pass in 2024? That's right, it's us and a lot of other developers.

That means Another Crab's Treasure will be free to install for the 25 million Game Pass subscribers. If a fraction of those users download our game, Unity could take a fee that puts an enormous dent in our income and threatens the sustainability of our business.

And that's before we even think about sales on other platforms, or pirated installs of our game, or even multiple installs by the same user!!!

This decision puts us and countless other studios in a position where we might not be able to justify using Unity for our future titles. If these changes aren't rolled back, we'll be heavily considering abandoning our wealth of Unity expertise we've accumulated over the years and starting from scratch in a new engine. Which is really something we'd rather not do.

On behalf of the dev community, we're calling on Unity to reverse the latest in a string of shortsighted decisions that seem to prioritize shareholders over their product's actual users.

I fucking hate it here.

-Aggro Crab - END DESCRIPTION]

That fee, by the way, is a flat fee. Not a percentage, not a royalty. This means that any games made in Unity expecting any kind of success are heavily incentivized to cost as much as possible.

[IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A table listing the various fees by number of Installs over the Install Threshold vs. version of Unity used, ranging from $0.01 to $0.20 per install. END DESCRIPTION]

Basic elementary school math tells us that if a game comes out for $1.99, they will be paying, at maximum, 10% of their revenue to Unity, whereas jacking the price up to $59.99 lowers that percentage to something closer to 0.3%. Obviously any company, especially any company in financial desperation, which a sudden anchor on all your revenue is going to create, is going to choose the latter.

Furthermore, and following the trend of "fuck anyone who doesn't ask for money", Unity helpfully defines what an install is on their main site.

While I'm looking at this page as it exists now, it currently says

The installation and initialization of a game or app on an end user’s device as well as distribution via streaming is considered an “install.” Games or apps with substantially similar content may be counted as one project, with installs then aggregated to calculate the Unity Runtime Fee.

However, I saw a screenshot saying something different, and utilizing the Wayback Machine we can see that this phrasing was changed at some point in the few hours since this announcement went up. Instead, it reads:

The installation and initialization of a game or app on an end user’s device as well as distribution via streaming or web browser is considered an “install.” Games or apps with substantially similar content may be counted as one project, with installs then aggregated to calculate the Unity Runtime Fee.

Screenshot for posterity:

That would mean web browser games made in Unity would count towards this install threshold. You could legitimately drive the count up simply by continuously refreshing the page. The FAQ, again, doubles down.

Q: Does this affect WebGL and streamed games? A: Games on all platforms are eligible for the fee but will only incur costs if both the install and revenue thresholds are crossed. Installs - which involves initialization of the runtime on a client device - are counted on all platforms the same way (WebGL and streaming included).

And, what I personally consider to be the most suspect claim in this entire debacle, they claim that "lifetime installs" includes installs prior to this change going into effect.

Will this fee apply to games using Unity Runtime that are already on the market on January 1, 2024? Yes, the fee applies to eligible games currently in market that continue to distribute the runtime. We look at a game's lifetime installs to determine eligibility for the runtime fee. Then we bill the runtime fee based on all new installs that occur after January 1, 2024.

Again, again, doubled down in the FAQ.

Q: Are these fees going to apply to games which have been out for years already? If you met the threshold 2 years ago, you'll start owing for any installs monthly from January, no? (in theory). It says they'll use previous installs to determine threshold eligibility & then you'll start owing them for the new ones. A: Yes, assuming the game is eligible and distributing the Unity Runtime then runtime fees will apply. We look at a game's lifetime installs to determine eligibility for the runtime fee. Then we bill the runtime fee based on all new installs that occur after January 1, 2024.

That would involve billing companies for using their software before telling them of the existence of a bill. Holding their actions to a contract that they performed before the contract existed!

Okay. I think that's everything. So far.

There is one thing that I want to mention before ending this post, unfortunately it's a little conspiratorial, but it's so hard to believe that anyone genuinely thought this was a good idea that it's stuck in my brain as a significant possibility.

A few days ago it was reported that Unity's CEO sold 2,000 shares of his own company.

On September 6, 2023, John Riccitiello, President and CEO of Unity Software Inc (NYSE:U), sold 2,000 shares of the company. This move is part of a larger trend for the insider, who over the past year has sold a total of 50,610 shares and purchased none.

I would not be surprised if this decision gets reversed tomorrow, that it was literally only made for the CEO to short his own goddamn company, because I would sooner believe that this whole thing is some idiotic attempt at committing fraud than a real monetization strategy, even knowing how unfathomably greedy these people can be.

So, with all that said, what do we do now?

Well, in all likelihood you won't need to do anything. As I said, some of the biggest names in the industry would be directly affected by this change, and you can bet your bottom dollar that they're not just going to take it lying down. After all, the only way to stop a greedy CEO is with a greedier CEO, right?

(I fucking hate it here.)

And that's not mentioning the indie devs who are already talking about abandoning the engine.

[Links display tweets from the lead developer of Among Us saying it'd be less costly to hire people to move the game off of Unity and Cult of the Lamb's official twitter saying the game won't be available after January 1st in response to the news.]

That being said, I'm still shaken by all this. The fact that Unity is openly willing to go back and punish its developers for ever having used the engine in the past makes me question my relationship to it.

The news has given rise to the visibility of free, open source alternative Godot, which, if you're interested, is likely a better option than Unity at this point. Mostly, though, I just hope we can get out of this whole, fucking, environment where creatives are treated as an endless mill of free profits that's going to be continuously ratcheted up and up to drive unsustainable infinite corporate growth that our entire economy is based on for some fuckin reason.

Anyways, that's that, I find having these big posts that break everything down to be helpful.

[luvyeni]

SECURITY CAMERA ,, 한지성

pairings ‎⸝⸝⸝ perv!jisung x fem!reader wc. 2.1k+

genre. smut

𓄷 includes ... sub jisung, perversions, unprotected sex, oral ( m. receiving ), public sex , overstimulation, idk man jisung is weird , but like so is reader.

request. han jisung smut🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️

「 authors note 𖹭 」 not my favorite but i hope you like it.

❪ masterlist! ❫

jisung hated his job as the cashier at the cafe; he didn't like how he had to interact with people all day; the teenagers who order drinks that took 10 minutes to make, the older people complaining to him about princes he has no control in , the small children who don't need coffee in the first place — he hated it, but someone needed to pay his bills.

that was until you walked into the cafe a few months ago , looking for a job which you got; and his life from then on his shifts got ten times better — not only did he get a promotion to manager , which not only gave him a good pay raise , but he got to move to the back where he no longer had to interact with the outside population.

not only that , but you also made his shifts much better, he liked to watch you through the screen, and the way you interacted so sweetly with the customers, even the horrid ones. not to mention you were always so nice to him , even when you were having a bad day, you still would come to the back and have a conversation with him before returning back to the front , where he would watch you some more — and some days if he was lucky, he'd get a peek of your panties when you would bend over to get a cup or to pick up dropped change on the floor.

he still remembered the last time he jerked off in that back room; watching you, he felt so disgusting afterwards , you weren't even doing anything, it was late at night and you were cleaning up the cafe with a coworker and he was going over the books in the back , he so happened to look at the camera , it was a warm day and you wearing a tank top, one that showed off your boobs and a mini skirt that was too short , he could've dress coded you but he didn't get paid enough and he didn't want you to see him as a loser — but if you caught him doing he did you'd probably think he was anyway.

you were just so pretty and he was thinking with his cock; and before he knew it he was palming himself , cumming in his pants , heavily breathing as the post nut clarity hit him. he quickly locked up the back , wishing you and the other worker there a good night as he ran out the door , covering himself , eyes to the ground in shame.

he couldn't look at you for a week; not only did he feel guilty, but because he wanted to do it again; and it wasn't that long until he did it again, and then again— until he no longer felt guilty about doing it , he couldn't stop himself , he needed to do it , not a shift went by where he didn't touch himself watching you through the cameras.

“i don't know, i think he's pretty weird.” your coworker said , it was a 15 minutes to closing , so you were wiping down the tables. “who?” you asked, you were never one to gossip but it was a slow night , not many people buying coffee at 9 pm and you were bored. “jisung.” your other female coworker said. “he stays back there constantly , and when he does come out it's just to grab a coffee and stare at yns boobs , it's creepy.” she said. “what , my boobs?” you questioned. “he's never looked at my boobs.” you said. “has he?”

“of course you'd like the creepy manager.” your male coworker said. “i don't think he's creepy , he's just a bit anti-social, it's quite cute.” you smiled , your friends rolled their eyes. “leave him alone , he's nothing but kind to everyone , he lets you come in even though you obviously haven't passed a drug alcohol test since even before you were the legal age , and you; he spends 30 extra minutes each week to put in your hours because you're too lazy to do it yourself , he even puts in hours that you're late just so you won't take a pay cut.” you defended the boy.

“look at you defending him , what you got a little crush on him?” you scoffed , rolling your eyes. “i don't have to like him to know he's not a bad person , or a creep.” you said , walking away to finish cleaning the tables.

“we're leaving , are you coming or are you gonna wait for your boyfriend?” they stopped as they walked out the door. “shut up.” you rolled your eyes. “i guess that means she's waiting , let's go.” they exited the store , you walked over locking the door.

you began to count the money from the counter , humming the music that was playing from the speakers — then you heard it , your name coming from the back. “huh?” you turned down the speaker , thinking you misheard , but you heard it again , this time much louder. you put the money down , following the noise; until you got to the manager's office. “y-yn.”

you put your ear to the door; he wasn't just saying your name, he was moaning your name. “jisung?” you pushed the door open , your eyes widened at the scene. “yn.” his eyes widened at the shock as you watched the boy desperately try to pull his pants up. “what are you doing?” you asked ,even though you knew what he was doing , you literally caught him with his cock in his hand , you looked at the computer then back to him. “were you watching me while doing that?”

his first thought was to beg for your forgiveness , and that's what he did. “y-yn i'm so sorry , i didn't mean to — you didn't mean to jerk off while watching me , what? wipe tables.” you interrupted , the boy lowered his head. “you felt comfortable doing this , have you done this before?” he didn't say anything but it answered your question. “you have.” you said. “im sorry.”

“that's all you have to say? im sorry.” you scoffed. “i defended you when they called you a creep , turns out you are one.” he felt a pit in his stomach , he felt guilty , he really did , but he was also still really fucking hard. “sh-shit.” he cursed , feeling his cock twitching in unbuttoned slacks. “i really should report you for this.” his eyes widened. “calm down i won't turn you in perv.” you closed the door , behind you.

“i-m not a pervert.” you scoffed. “really? normal people don't jerk off to their coworkers.” he kept his head low even as you approached him. “how long have you been doing this?” he shrugged. “ a-a few weeks after you came,” he admitted. “so instead of asking me out with the chance of maybe fucking me , you watch me through the camera while jerking off?” you smirked. “i would've fucked you, all you had to do was ask.”

you put your hands on the arms of the chair , caging him in , your boobs right in front of his face. “see you can't even look at me now, but you can see my tits can't you , guess they were right about you constantly staring at them.” he bit his lip. “touch them.” he finally looked at you. “wh-what?” he stuttered. “do it.” he brought his hands up to your boobs , squeezing them , you bit your lip containing a moan. “feel good?” he shook his head. “s-soft.”

you stood up , lifting you shirt over your head. “pulling your pants down.” he was frozen. “do it now or i'll call HR on your ass.” he quickly got up , his pants falling to his ankles. “sit.” he obeyed , you got down on your knees , your face directly in front of his cock. “wh-what are you doing?” he asked , not like he wanted to stop you. “doing what you obviously wanted me to do.”

you pulled his cock from his underwear, it stood tall in front of your face , his tip a purplish red from his previous endeavors, leaking with pre cum. “look at you , so hard i guess you didn't get to cum.” you kissed his tip. “no fuck.” he sighed. “d-didn’t get the chance.” he moaned as your mouth closed around his length , slowly making your way down his shaft. “oh fuck your mouth feels so good.”

he felt like he was dreaming; you were supposed to hate him , you were supposed to think he was gross — but here you were gagging on his cock in the same room you caught him in. “oh fuck im cum.” he moaned , gripping the arms of the chair. “pl-please let me cum.”

he whined as you pulled away. “why should i?” you stroked his member , slowly teasing him , he couldn't cum like this. “didn't you cum enough by perving on me for the past few months?” he whimpered. “pl-please let me cum.” he begged. “please i-i’m sorry.” you sped up your movements , he moaned loudly. “you wanna cum? cum all over my tits , since you like them so much?” he nodded. “pl-please I'm gonna cum.” his brain was fuzzy. “fuck im cumming!”

he let out a loud moan as he came , covering your upper body in his seed , as you kept going. “fu-fuck , i came.” he moaned , but you didn't stop. “yn fuck I came.” he let out a huff of air as you let him go. “you came so much.” you brought your fingers with his cum on it to your mouth. “you taste good too.” he groaned , his cock twitching once again. “i want you to fuck me.” you stood up , pulling your panties down your legs , leaving your skirt on. “if you get to use me only fair if I use you?”

you climbed into his lap , his cock now hard again standing tall. “pl-please use me.” you cursed as you lowered yourself on his cock. “fu-fuck.” you sat down on him. “yo-you feel good.” he moaned. “so-so tight.” you began to move your hips , holding his shoulders. “y-yn please go faster.” he moaned. “pl-please.”

“fuck you want me to use you?” you began to bounce on his cock. “treat you like a toy?” he nodded dumbly, his eyes rolling to the back of his head. “fuck use me , please use me.” you scoffed. “fucking perv , i bet you thought about this everytime you jerked off back here.” he moaned. “you did , think about me fucking you like this?”

jisung was going crazy; his head was spinning as you were milking him for everything he had. “you're gonna cum?” you pulled him from his daze , there were tears wielding in his eyes from pleasure. “cum for me.” you kissed behind his ear. “be a good boy and cum for me.” that set him off and he came , he threw his head back slamming his hand on the desk next to him as you continued to bounce on his cock.

“y-yn.” he moaned. “yn please i can't cum again.” he was spent, you grabbed his chubby tear stained cheeks. “you can , cum for me again.” he let out a whimper like moan as he came for the third time. “sh-shit i can't go again.” he said. “fuck im gonna cum.” you cursed , as you came , you kissed his needy lips , he chased your lips as you pulled away , making you smile. “cute.”

“well i still thinks he's a little weird.” your coworker said. “regardless if he did ask you out on a date.” you rolled your eyes. “what does he even do back there all day?” you smirked to yourself , before turning back to your coworkers with a serious face. “he does his job , now leave him alone and get back to work.” you ordered , and they shrugged going back to what they were supposed to be doing— you turned around right at the camera , winking.

yeah he was a pervert , but he was your pervert.

©LUVYENI

[dcxdpdabbles]

#holiday request

Another chapter of Alley Boyfriends, if you don't mind, I love it so much. If not, no worries. I love your work and love to reread your stuff. May your food be filling and your bills be paid!

Danny carefully adds the finishing touches to the seahorse he’s carefully designing on the surface of Tim’s mug of coffee. He’s been practicing his latte art because business has been slow at Heart Attack in secret. The previous week, he had seen Tim watching videos of strangers creating works of art using the foams of their coffee with blatant awe.

The Halfa will admit to the sight of wonder on Tim’s face when the flashier artist created swans with colored foam, and his heart gave the oddest flutters. It had been so brief but intense that Danny had feared a new power was unlocking in their living room.

Thankfully, the moment passed quickly, but Tim’s expression lingered in his mind. Danny had abandoned the piano to search somehow for videos of latte art within the next minute of that strange heart flutter.  

Danny had learned how to play from Wes in an ill-fated attempt to get the ginger to date him. Danny hadn’t been able to get the ginger to be his boyfriend, but he learned a skill he enjoyed. His parents bought him a second-hand stage piano that he had used for the few years he lived with them.

It broke sometime in senior year- he thinks Young Blood had blasted him through it- and he hadn’t bothered getting a replacement. Mainly because he couldn’t be concerned, as it was a hobby he hadn’t time to participate in once he got close to graduation. It would have remained a forgotten past time had the apartment not come with the grand piano.

The sound was so much richer, with a resonating tone that bypassed his skin and sunk into his soul. Danny could not let the thing of beauty go to waste. He often found himself sitting on the bench, letting his fingers dance off the keys, finding melodies and rhythms that welcomed him home like a returning hero of a fairy tale.

He didn’t think he was skilled at it, but sometimes, when he played, Tim would move closer. His eyelids would flutter close, lying on the nearby couch and listening to Danny play with a half-smile on his face. Sometimes, Tim would fall asleep, seemingly at peace, as Danny strung through Dance of the Blessed Spirits only a few feet away.

Despite all the coffee Danny had provided him with, Tim was starting to develop a better sleeping schedule. The bags under his eyes slowly faded, and he was physically fit. Tim used their apartment building gym all the time, but his skin was gaining a glow previously not there.

He also seems much happier. Danny checked off another box of Tim being a ghost in development, with his Heart Attack Coffee being a big part of his obsession.  Maybe it would not be his sole purpose when he passed, but Danny suspected that the coffee was associated with a good memory that fundamentally shaped Tim’s sense of self.

Danny didn’t like to think too hard about it. He’s gotten comfortable with death, seeing it as a natural part of life now that he spent so much time around the Death-Brought Ghosts, but the idea of Tim passing always twisted his heart into knots.

Sharp, painful knots that leave him fleeing from the dark thoughts as fast as possible. It would be years before Tim would no longer be part of this world. He had better things to do, like adding bubbles and seaweed around the seahorse and taking time to add as many little details as he could to create the scene of a lovely underwater image.

Danny finishes just as the kitchen clock- an expensive cuckoo clock that had golden trimmings, blending so well with the dark wood and gorgeous forest theme carvings that Danny had fallen in love with the second he spotted it at a street art festival that the pair had stumbled upon during a drive they took. Tim bought it when he realized Danny liked it, and it hung up that night. - goes off with a loud chime.

Another day has officially ended. 

His roommate would be up soon for whatever he does at nighttime, where he vanished for hours, coming home nearly always after witching hours, exhausted and bruised. Danny would linger in the living room for a bit if he was awake before heading to his room with a half-made excuse.

Tim would then sleep for a few hours before he was up again, rushing around the apartment to gather his things and be out for his daytime work. A lot of his job he can do at home, but Tim was important enough that he sometimes had to go to work in person.

In the three weeks that the two have moved in together, Danny hasn’t been braved enough to ask what his roommate did for a living. He knows Tim held some big corporate job- where and what he did there was a mystery- but his second job was vague and downright denied at worst.

Whenever Danny hinted so much about what he was doing at night, Tim moved the subject away. He didn’t flat out deny answering Danny’s probing, as more as he danced around the question so well, Danny found himself waltzing in a different direction before he realized what had happened. Tim had a silver tongue that was wielded like a sword, sharp, cutting, and deadly.

 It was mildly alarming, mainly because Danny had no idea what Tim was involved in. Something big, something likely bad. It could be the only explanation for the large amount of seemingly never-ending funds and the odd hours that Tim kept.

A boring office worker by day and who knows what by night.

He also always came back home half stumbling over his feet. There was even that one time when Tim had been half-dressed, his knuckles split, and hard anger set at his jaw. Danny had been caught up with a new show, only realizing the late hour once his roommate had practically shut the door.

The pair stared at each other. Danny bathed in the glow of the TV while Tim was shirtless and standing in the shadows of the front door. He wanted to ask thousands of questions, but Danny had only lifted the heated blanket- a gift from Tim- when he learned how affected Danny was by the cold. 

Tim’s face softened as he barreled into the warmth and snuggled into the couch cushions, joining Danny in watching a Korean rom-con that the Halfa had been in the middle of. He had no idea what the plot was or who the characters were, but by the end of the third episode, Tim’s head had fallen on Danny’s shoulder so deeply asleep that he didn’t feel Danny wrapped up his knuckles or carried him to his room.

Despite this, Danny didn’t move out. He didn’t stop providing Tim with his much-loved coffee. If anything, he took his worries, boxed them up, and stubbornly turned a blind eye to the worrying signs that Tim was showing.

A door opens behind him. Tim walks out, an overnight bag thrown over his shoulder as he speed walks through the living room. His roommate is scrolling on his phone, tapping a rapid-fire response to whoever he is chatting with. Danny could see the bubble messages screen even if he couldn’t make out the words before sighing. “I’ll be out all night. I’ll probably be back tomorrow around noon.”

A pool of dread piles in his stomach, but Danny pushes it away. “Alright.”

He holds out the mug, drinking in every facial feature shift as surprise blooms over Tim’s face before it melts into tenderness when he sees the shape of the latte art. It was painstaking to learn how to make a realistic-looking one on such a problematic canvas, but Danny is happy he spent time on it. After all, Tim’s favorite animal was the seashore, so he needed to make sure it looked good.

Only a few people knew that from what Danny gathered from Tim's few mentions while working on their three notebooks. He also thinks Tim doesn’t often tell people his favorites, but Danny has been paying close attention whenever Tim reacts positively to the world around him. The way Tim’s eyes sparkled when Danny clicked on a sea documentary where the small, shaped fish had been a main feature. Danny had found it adorable how Tim seemed unaware that he would randomly blurt out a new fun fact about the seahorses in the following few days.

“When you learn to make this?” Tim asks, curling his fingers around the mug. Danny’s heart leaps in his chest at the tender warmth glowing in Tim’s eyes as he gazed at him. Coughing into his hand, he waves his hand.

“I had some time since there hadn’t been a lot of customers lately. Ever since that Dr. Freeze threat, people have been avoiding the café.” Danny ignores the guilt he feels about that.

The other day, his powers had gone out of control after he made the mistake of going too long without using his ice, and when he developed that stupid head cold, he accidentally froze the street.

One coughing session later, the entire neighborhood ran to take shelter, panicking that the rouge had chosen their homes for his newest mayhem. Thank goodness the villain had actually broken out of Arkham the previous day, so no one batted an eye at the fact the ice surrounding a single barista was in the middle of closing up for the night.

“It’s amazing, Danny,” Tim tells him, quickly snapping a picture with his phone before he takes a sip. His eyelashes flutter as he savors the flavor, this one is the original Batman theme coffee that Heart Attack discontinued.

Danny found the receipt in an older binder while doing inventory. Tim had tackled him in an enthusiastic hug the second he tried it and recognized the familiar taste.

“Thanks.” He blushes, trying not to notice that the bubbles have shifted slightly, resembling hearts instead of circles. Moving his eyes away from where the foam disappears into Tim’s lips, Danny mentally kicks himself for being weird about his fake boyfriend’s drinking.

He picks up the mug lid on the counter, turning it around in his hands while Tim takes another quick sip. There is some leftover steam milk on his lips when he pulls away, and the colorful seahorse is gone now. His core pulses, making a shiver run down his spine as Tim’s pink tongue darts out to lick away the teal green.

Danny coughs again as frost gathers on his back. Thank goodness he can feel it on his skin, which means it likely hasn’t passed through his comfortable sweater. He hasn’t told Tim about his powers, and he isn’t sure he wants to.

Gotham is an anti-meta city. Tim was as Gotham as they came. He can’t stand the thought of his roommate growing to hate him, especially for something that wasn’t precisely meta, but was the closest thing he was.

He leans forward, carefully sealing the mug. This was one of Tim’s favorites among his collectible mugs, primarily because it could shift into a traveling beverage holder.

Tim smiles at him. “I’m heading out then. See you tomorrow.” 

“Bye, stay safe,” Danny tells him to walk him to the front door. He stands there, feeling like he’s waiting for something to happen. But he isn’t entirely sure what that is, so all he does is lean against the wall as Tim slips on his running shoes, juggling his drink, phone, and bag. Danny smiles warmly when Tim raises his mug at him in a fast toast before he slips through the door, leaving their apartment with a soft “Sleep well, Danny.”

The wood of their door seals shut without a sound- apparently, the rich didn’t believe in noise because everything in the apartment was somehow soundproof. Tim moved like a shadow, rarely making a sound. Danny, by comparison, sounded like a bull in a china shop.

Once, when Danny apologized, Tim laughed.

“I like it, " he said while lounging in the hot tub on the balcony. Danny was on the other side, the warm water doing wonders for the frost forming at the bottom of his feet.  Thankfully, the water hid it from Tim’s sight. “It’s like you breathe life into the apartment with your noise.”

“Stay safe,” Danny says to the empty apartment. “Come home tomorrow.”

He rubs his face and figures he should head to be. It was ten at night, but Tim clarified that he wouldn’t return anytime soon. He’s tired from the previous three nights when he waited for Tim to come home. Thankfully, his shifts had been moved to the afternoon, so it didn’t mean much if Danny stayed up until three am for his roommate.

He strides by his piano, running his hand along the closed case of the keys without seeing it, for his gaze is locked on the city that glows under his window. It’s been nearly a month, and he’s still not used to the view of Gotham from this height. The penthouse towers over most of Gotham, and the city seems beautiful from up here. A Decorative lie of the danger that waited in the wake of anyone down on their luck.

This place was like a Siren. Beautiful and alluring until its claws and teeth dug into someone’s skin, dragging them to the darkest depths where no one could hear their screams. He prays that whatever Tim is involved doesn’t let Gotham swallow him whole.

 Danny’s fingers accidentally come upon cloth, making him snap his chin down to see what had been placed on the wood and blink at the side of Tim’s discarded sleeping long-sleeve shirt. His roommate peeled it off earlier tonight when he wanted to walk around in his shirt sleeve and flung it somewhere to take a quick nap before he left.

His fingers close around the fabric, slowly bringing it up to his face, breathing in Tim’s distinctive scent mixed with the soft lavender of his fabric softener. Danny hesitates for only a few seconds before taking off his sweater and slips on Tim’s long sleeve, allowing himself to find comfort in the familiar scent surrounding him.

He lets his sweater pool on the floor in the living room as he wanders to his room, crashing under his blankets and pressing the fabric of Tim’s clothes to his face. Eventually, he is lured to sleep, dreaming of playing in Gotham’s largest theater, hands flying over the keys at a skill level he does not possess. He moves with the music, uncaring that the seats are empty except for one.

That one belongs to Tim, who watches him perform with the same tenderness as his latte art inspired, but instead of a drink, Danny’s music causes that expression.

It’s the best dream he had in a long while.

As he dreams, he is unaware of the figure checking in on him, hanging from a grabbing hook near his window. The figure smiles when its white lens notices how Danny is curled up in a ball before it zips to the roof, their cap flaring behind them.

When they land, they reach up to link on their com "Red Robin reporting for duty. Where is Dr. Freeze's last known location? I want him caught tonight."

"Good night to you, too," Oracle responds. "Any particular reason we're in such a hurry for the capture of Dr. Freeze."

"He's making it hard for the hard-working people of Gotham to work," He huffs, knowing the rest of the bats will correctly link his complaint to his roommate.

There is a loaded pause before Red Hood grunts. "I got good news for you then. Dr. Freeze has spotted this very afternoon. Meet up at Heart Attack by Crime Alley to compare notes in an hour."

"I'm on my way."

[101maverick]

Hi! Saw your newest post, so thought I might as well try to help with your writers block :)

How about headcanons of the bat boys dating a broke reader? Alternatively, batboys x bimbo!reader?

Hope this helps you get out of your slump, enjoy the rest of your day and take your time if you ain't up for it :]

A/n: Tysm for the request! Hope you enjoy :)

Dick Grayson

Being resident in Bludhaven, he's financially independent and certainly not rich. He refuses to depend on Bruce.

This means he hasn't got any trust fund money to give you, but he'd definitely help you out any way he can

He'd buy you practical gifts as well as normal ones whenever he's got the chance, and if you're living together the way you divide the living costs would definitely be proportional to your spending power

Dick isn't rich but he's not broke either: the average annual salary for cops in the us is roughly $66.000, but he owns the two-bedroom apartment you live in so the only thing you guys need to pay is taxes and bills, no rent to worry about. You're also not at home for most of the day, seeing as he works as a cop and you have your own job that takes up a good chunk of your day, so the electricity bill isn't very high.

I personally think Reader would not enjoy not having to pay for anything seeing as the money comes out of Dick's own pocket, so she'd at the very least insist on paying for groceries and helping out more in the house with laundry, dishes, cleaning et cetera, to even out the responsibilities as much as possible

He'd support you as much as possible if you're getting a degree, he'd be like your own personal cheerleader, and after you get it he'd organise this huge surprise graduation party for you and then help you get a job in the field of your degree

like if you became a lawyer he'd hook you up with some judges/attorneys he knows aren't corrupt and get you a job in their law firm (paid intern of course, after having worked so hard you want to make it yourself in the world)

I think you two would have tons of fun at the thrift! You wouldn't feel bad about him insisting to spend his money, and you would have the best time just perusing the racks and laughing at all the insane stuff you find plus trying on some genuinely nice clothes

One thing he splurges on though is making sure you have a state-of-the-art home gym, in fact that is why he buys your building's basement and equips it with every work-out machine under the sun plus a trapeze and equipment to practice a ton of other dynamic sports of the sort

————————————

Jason Todd

He's a crime lord so it's safe to say this dude is filthy rich

He obviously doesn't show it though and apart from having a lot of it as an emergency fund for when he needs to defend himself in gang wars I believe he anonymously donates the rest to charities

I go with the canon of Jason being catholic so I believe he gives to the Church, but it could obviously be something else like one of the many Wayne foundations (cause as much as he holds a grudge against his father he knows he's obviously not corrupt and actually helps people)

apart from this he definitely still has a lot of money

He'd refuse to see you struggle financially

He's been through that, he knows how awful it is and does not hear no for an answer when he goes to hand you insane amounts of cash

If you live together then he makes sure to get a nice apartment in the respectable parts of town, blending in with the rest of the neighbourhood to make sure the location is safe and as untraceable as possible

He handles everything and refuses to even let you pay for groceries, insisting that you concentrate on your studies and not worry about having to sustain yourself

To him you guys being a team means that you hold each other up any way you can, and you already support him immensely just by being by his side and loving him, so to him this is just doing his part and supporting you (on top of loving you like crazy of course)

One thing he'd do is make sure your house has enough space to host an insane amount of books though

On this topic I think he'd absolutely spoil you with book hauls, just taking you to every book store you can find and buying piles and piles of books

I'm talking those beautiful gold-leaf covered editions of centuries-old classics, and it doesn't matter if you already have the stories per-se in your library cause it's the edition that matters in this case, ya know?

Like sometimes you want to feel regal and distinguished reading the gold-lined hardcover Commedia, sometimes you want to feel quirky with your penguin edition Jane Eyre, other times you just want to embrace your inner sewer rat and read Macbeth from the shitty mass-produced paperbacks and Jason acknowledges and embraces it

————————————

Tim Drake

Tim, like Jason, is also filthy rich, in virtue of being the owner of Drake Industries and the representative C.E.O. for Bruce at Wayne Enterprises

You'd both live in his Nest, and given the horrendous amount of electricity it consumes it's all already paid for by his company so no need to worry about that

He would only accept "payment" for everything he does for you in the form of you making sure he goes to sleep at decent amounts of time when he's elbow-deep in a case (and tons of love, obviously)

Like Jason, he'd just hands you wads of cash

EXCEPT! He does it for the most mundane stuff. Timothy Jackson Drake is a nepo baby, no way around that. Sure, while he spent his time stalking Batman and Robin through the rougher parts of Gotham he learnt street-safety 101, but he always carried anything he needed for those nightly strolls in his backpack, and he never really learned the real value of money. "$2.70 for a small bottle of water? Sounds reasonable!" is his thought process to this day.

You two would often have these moments of 'culture shock', with Tim slowly discovering how much things should cost every time you two go out to run errands together and you discovering about the insane things the rich buy and do just because Tim decided to recount some childhood stories/told you about some stuff socialites did ad a gala

Since I think Tim's love language is quality time I think he'd take you on these absurd trips whenever possible, that to you are to absurd places but to him it's a very normal trip because "my parents always went there twice a year? It's an extremely normal vacation spot?" Meanwhile it's the Maldives or a private island in Greece or something

This being Tim you also HAVE to have a state-of-the-art phone, with tons of features you will never need to use since you're a civilian but it makes him more at ease, knowing that if the need arises you have the ability to disarm a bomb with the click of a button on your display

————————————

Damian Wayne-Al Ghul

Oh he'd absolutely refuse to have you living anywhere but a castle

It'd take convincing for him to have you living in anything less than a penthouse in the diamond district

He's not against the idea of you working, but he doesn't think that it's necessary for you to slave away at a minimum-wage job while you could be spending all your time in luxury while studying for your degree

After you get your degree he'd help you find a job at one of the most important places for your specialisation, pulling the needed strings just to make sure your resume isn't overlooked (nothing more, he's of the idea that his partner should be strong, plus he believes you to be extremely capable and so thinks that pulling strings to get you the job would be a disservice and an offence to you)

Absolutely spoils you with gifts, and by that I mean: clothes, jewellery, if you like cars he'll buy you a carpark, anything you look at for more than two seconds he'll buy

Damian's way of showing love is through gestures, so you rejecting his gifts would hurt him and he'd take it to mean that you are rejecting him/are unsatisfied with him

Like with Tim, you both would have "Culture shocks" over stuff like the worth of money, lifestyle and stuff like that

Because Damian is basically a royal (or at the very least was raised like one, I don't know what's happened to the LoA in current canon) I think he'd lowkey try to get you an armed guard for when you need to go out as a sign of love lol

"Damian I've been feeling watched while going out as of late" "Don't worry Beloved, that's just the armed guard" "Oh ok-I'm sorry what?!"

Things like anniversaries, birthdays and big events are celebrated in the most lavish settings but in a private way still, like he'll absolutely spoil you and take you to visit this super famous castle for your birthday, matter of fact he'll rent it out for the occasion

For real he does this because when you're alone he can be himself and he loves doing that when you're both experiencing something that makes you happy-- But! Those are head canons for another time hehe >:)

————————————

Bruce Wayne

I believe he's the only one in the bat family who knows the worth of money while having being rich his entire life (ya know, having to use all the disguises he does and going undercover as a normal person a lot of the time)

He definitely offers you a job at Wayne Enterprises, and if you accept he agrees to keeping your relationship under wraps so that no one will start saying that you 'sleep with him for the job'

On that topic if the relationship ever goes public and people start saying that, he will fire them without hesitation

And if it's business partners joking with him about it, he won't stop dealing with them for the sole purpose of covertly crippling their reputation so badly they'll have no choice but to sell their companies to him

You obviously live with him at the Manor, and he insists that everything be paid for by himself only (ya know, richest man in New Jersey and probably the world soooo....)

Bruce is really bad with his emotions, he tends to really repress them whenever he deems them something he's not 'worthy' of feeling or whenever he perceives he has failed at something or failed someone, so the mere fact he confessed his feelings towards you and that he doesn't shun your love is a huge step forward for him. This doesn't mean that he's good at expressing his emotions when he doesn't repress them though, especially not with words.

This is why his main love languages are gift-giving and acts of service, because he shows his love through actions.

Gift-giving as an important love language for him happens because he's very busy both during the day and the night, so sometimes your schedules just don't align or he even has to go off-world with the Justice League and stuff, so he 'makes up' those missed acts of service with lavish gifts

Usually this could be seen as 'throwing money at the problem and hoping it fixes itself' but the thing is that Bruce's gifts are pretty much always spontaneous. He's out and about in his public persona or patrolling as batman, and he sees a storefront with something that reminds him of you or that he thinks you would like. The next logical step is obviously buying it for you as soon as possible and getting it to the manor. Because Bruce is really bad at showing it but the people he loves are always at the forefront of his mind (when he's not being an asshole and repressing his emotions as if the fate of humankind depended on his ability to give his family the cold shoulder and communicating only in grunts and sighs)

———————————— A/n: this was so fun! I love writing head canons because there is no pressure with story flow and how much description and feeling you're putting into it, it's very similar to sharing your thoughts with a friend and that's what endears the format to me so much :) Hope you enjoyed! If you like my work, please consider reblogging and checking out my other works through the master list in my pinned post<3 Love you all🩷

Total word count: 2009

[ariestrxsh]

˚₊‧꒰ა 𓂋 ໒꒱ ‧₊˚_____________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐  

 ⚠️ content warning: ⚠️ smut, lap dance, role play, fingering, oral, unprotected sex, praise, pussy worship, pussydrunk!matt, softdom!matt, exchange of money for sex

✍️ Summary: ✍️ You've started a job at a strip club in your town, and while you're on stage, you notice none other than Matt Sturniolo, a good friend of yours, watching you in the crowd. Neither one of you expected to run into one another here, but he approaches you as a customer and pretends he doesn't know you.

if you're looking for a chris version with a similar storyline, you can read it here 💖

˚₊‧꒰ა 𓂋 ໒꒱ ‧₊˚_____________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

Taste

I had just recently started my job at a local strip club, and because I was new and unsure about how the people in my life would react, I opted out of telling my friends and family about it, so instead I told everyone I got hired at a bar, which wasn't entirely false. We did serve alcohol.

It took me a few weeks to get comfortable dancing in my heels, and a month before my legs weren't sore after every shift. Having been here a little shy of six months, I was making enough money to spend on even sexier lingerie so I could bring in even more tips. I was also learning new tricks on the pole.

I liked my job honestly, and I didn't feel like there were many people who could say that. I liked the work, I liked the women I worked with, I got paid well, and I even liked a lot of the customers. I had fun teasing men and spending my time with them while they gave me money and attention. It was a nice exchange. And I felt like I was genuinely getting to know some of them, even though they weren't exactly getting to know me. I was putting on a persona, and it was usually catered to the person I was servicing at the time, but it's not like it wasn't me. It was just only one aspect of me that I amped up and played heavily into. But I loved it. I loved dressing up and playing a role that was so different from my everyday demeanor and being what these men wanted me to be. In my everyday life, I was reserved, introverted, and kept to myself most of the time, but when I was dancing, I was an exaggerated version of who I was when no one was looking. My fantasies, my sexual desire, an alter ego if you will.

It was almost my time to go on. I reapplied my body glitter and made a few finals tweaks to my outfit. I was wearing a white sparkly corset that pushed my breasts up nicely and a matching thong as well as glass six inch heels. I had my hair down but out of my face and curly. "Give it up for Mary Jane," the announcer came on. I didn't want to use my real name at my work, so I decided on Mary Jane because it was innocent sounding and was also nothing like my real name. 'Taste' by Tyga and Offset played over the speakers, there was a spotlight on me and other lights around me flashed and changed colors, and I seductively strutted towards the pole in front of me, gripping it with one hand and doing a little spin around it. I slowly descended down the pole with my back to it until I was in a squat, looking out at the crowd of men who were eager to see my body and what it could do. I came back up and hooked one of my legs around the pole, doing a ballerina spin around it. I could feel all these eyes on me, and I gained even more confidence as the dollar bills started raining at me feet.

I made eye contact with a few customers I recognized, men who were regulars. Then my gaze scanned across a familiar face that wasn't one I usually saw in this setting. Matt Sturniolo? In a strip club? This was not his scene at all. We were decently close friends, but I certainly hadn't told him I applied here, and I didn't think it was necessary considering I didn't think I'd ever see him here. He appeared to be alone. No one I recognized was near him. And when we made eye contact, he was looking at me some sort of way I'd never been looked at by him before, like he was hungry for me. He had to have recognized me, right? I may look different with my tits pushed up to my chin, but not that different.

I focused my attention back to my dance, manipulating the attention of every man in the room, contorting my body in ways that had every man wishing they were the pole between my legs. I finished my song, collected my ones, tucked them into my corset, and carefully got down from the stage.

Once I looked up from watching my feet as I stepped off the stage, I saw Matt making his way over to me. I was really nervous about what he might say. If he'd be mad that I didn't tell him I was working here or if he'd tease me. Instead, he looked me up and down with his lust-filled blue eyes and licked his lips. "How much for a dance from you?" He asked me, smiling. He couldn't be serious. I hesitated for a second. I had never been put in a position where someone I recognized outside of the club came in and asked me for a dance.

On some level, it felt inappropriate. On another level, it felt like a bad business move to not take him up on it. "$100 for three songs," I responded nonchalantly. He casually took a $100 bill out of his wallet and tucked it into my corset with my other money. I liked the way he did that. Then he grabbed me by the waist and started walking with me towards the back of the club where he could sit down. "So, Mary Jane, did they say?" Matt asked as he sunk into his chair and looked up at me, almost as if studying the way I was gonna respond.

Was he going to pretend he didn't know me? Was this part of the fantasy, acting like we were two strangers who just met in a strip club when we're actually pretty close friends outside of this. I nodded. I turned around and began grinding on him, and he grabbed my waist in response, slowly running his fingers down my curves. "How long have you worked here, Mary Jane? Matt asked me. "Nearly six months," I replied while I shifted my weight so I was resting right against his half-hard cock. He let out a groan in response. "It's a shame I've missed you any time I've been in here," he answered. "You come here often?" I asked, it sounding like a bad pick up line in my head. "Sometimes, depends on what's going on in my life. Depends on my needs at the time," he told me. I didn't know that about Matt.

There was something about being on his lap, brushing up against his hardening member in his pants that was turning me on more than I thought it should be. I had given men lap dances before that I'd found attractive, and it definitely left me a little wet a few times. But this was different. I definitely had always found Matt attractive, and there was an extra layer to this, Matt and I acting like this was our first time meeting. The way his demeanor was different in this setting and the way mine was too. I was beginning to wonder if I was starting to enjoy this more than he was.

"I wanna see your face," Matt growled into my ear, and I obliged by turning around and straddling him. I went back to basically riding him with our clothes on while we looked into each other's eyes. Matt's hands almost immediately found their way to my ass. "You have an incredible body, you know that?" Matt commented. "You're not so bad yourself," I smirked at him. Matt's hands moved from my ass to my breasts. The way he handled me was gentle but with purpose and demanding at the same time. I loved the way his hands traced my body while I continued to grind against him. "Fuck, I wanna kiss you so bad," Matt responded, staring at my lips. "You can if you have another $100 on you," I replied. No matter how badly I wanted to kiss him, I made it a rule that I'd always charge for intimate touch like that, because the men had to know it was transactional. I didn't want to make anyone feel lead on. This was my job, and this was a sale.

Matt shifted my hips so that I was straddling his knee now instead as he reached for his wallet in his pocket. I found myself holding my breath as his leg rubbed up against my already wet cunt and caused friction that sent a shock of pleasure through my nerve endings. It took everything in me to keep from riding his thigh while he pulled another benjamin out of his wallet and tucked it into the bra of my corset. I leaned in to kiss him. His lips were soft and pouty. His kiss was gentle, the same as his touch. His tongue slowly slipped into my mouth and brushed against my own. It was wet and velvety. While he passionately kissed me, his hands made their way to my face, softly cupping it. I pulled away, looking at him with a deep desire.

"Your three songs are almost over," I whispered, maintaining control of the situation. "I can pay for another three songs," Matt said, about to shift me onto his knee again. "Matt, please. As your friend, I can't let you do this. $300 is a lot of money to be spending at a strip club," I lectured him, breaking character. "Mary Jane, tonight I'm just another customer. I make my own money, I can spend it how I like," Matt bit his lip at me. "I wanna spend it on you, baby. I wanna spoil you," his words sent more waves of ecstacy through my body.

"Alright, another three songs," I said putting out my hand to accept another bill. "Actually, how much to take you to the private room?" Matt gestured towards the more intimate spaces where no one could see us. "All that you have in your wallet," I said jokingly, making a gun with my hand and jabbing it into his chest, but he took me seriously. He pulled out his wallet, grabbed a wad of cash, stuck it in my g-string this time, and tipped his wallet upside down to show me it was empty all while he smiled. I reached down to the money he'd put in my panties. "Only catch is, I want you for the whole night. Until the club closes," Matt growled while I counted the money. There was almost $1000 in my hand. I was shocked that Matt had this kind of money to blow at a strip club. And the fact that he did this semi-regularly? Matt was very quiet about how much money he had and about what a freak he was, and I liked that.

I thought about declining his offer and telling him I couldn't mix business, friendship, AND pleasure. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized I'd be dumb not to. He was hot, he wanted me, and I'd never made this much money in one night before. "Deal," I said, tucking the money into my corset. Matt grinned at me. "Follow me," I said, leading him back.

I'd taken men into the private rooms before many times, and I liked it. It was quieter, away from all the noise. There was a bed and a couch. Usually, men would take me in there because they wanted more privacy. I'd never slept with a customer, no matter how much I'd been offered, but there were a few times where I'd definitely maybe crossed an ethical line that could technically get the club in trouble, but I'd never tell. I was good at keeping secrets. There were a few men I'd given handjobs to, one john who had taken my tits out of my bra and teased my nipples with his tongue, and one guy who rubbed my clit over my panties until he made me cum. I remembered being so embarrassed and blushing after that encounter, but that was the most money I'd ever made in one night. Until tonight.

"Why don't you take that top off?" Matt inquired when we were alone in the room. I smirked at him as I pulled all the cash out of my bra and set it next to my shoes I'd slipped out of to get more comfortable. I was nervous for him to see me like this, but it was just business. I started undoing the clasps on my corset when Matt came up behind me to help me. When all the hooks were undone, Matt slowly slid my straps down my shoulders one by one. He let my corset slowly fall to the ground, and when it did, he took both breasts into his hands and looked at them in awe. "Shit," he whispered to himself, fondling them, brushing up against my sensitive nipples.

Matt made his way to the couch and comfortably sprawled out, taking up space and licking his lips while his eyes studied my every curve while running his hand along his hard dick in his pants. "Come here, princess," Matt said, rubbing his leg and patting it, motioning for me to sit down, so I did. Once I leaned back into him, he played with my nipples some more, teasing them, pinching them, sucking on them. His hands slowly moved to the front of my panties, rubbing me through the fabric for a few minutes, and moved my thong aside while I sat on his lap. "Your pussy looks so pretty with your panties all pushed to the side like that," Matt complimented me in a voice that was barely above a whisper as he reached for it. When he started moving his fingers in circles skillfully around my clit, I let out a soft moan. "Oh, you're so wet, darling," Matt observed, exploring me with his hands. I loved sitting on his lap like a giddy little girl. His touch felt amazing. He slipped a finger inside of me and then another one while he looked down at my entrance, enthralled by how much wetter he was making me. "Oh, Matt," I whimpered as I started to get close. "Come on pretty girl. Cum all over my fingers," Matt smirked. I couldn't believe I was hearing these words leave Matt's mouth, but I took them as a command. I came unraveled while I sat on his knee with his fingers pumping in and out of me. I felt my body tense up and tremble for a few seconds, and then a glorious release.

"Good girl. You think I could make you cum again?" Matt cooed, licking his fingers while I tried to catch my breath, but I nodded and smiled. He lifted me up off his lap, revealing a wet spot on his pants under where I was sitting, and Matt seemed turned on by it. He sat me on the couch and got down on his knees on the floor between my legs. He pulled my panties to the side again, and I felt his hair tickle my thigh as he leaned it and attached his lips to my vulva. He teased me by kissing and licking everywhere but my clit while he looked up at me, smiling. "Please Matt," I whined, tugging at his curls, trying to bring him closer to where I wanted him to lick me, but he was doing it on purpose, making me beg for it, and he loved it. "Your pussy is so pretty up close and personal like this. Let me take my time with her," he smirked, teasing my entrance and kissing the insides of my thighs. He finally gave in after a few more minutes of my relentless pleading, manipulating my sweet spot with his tongue. He started moving it faster and more enthusiastically. It felt so good, I found myself sliding down on the couch, slowly but surely inching my pussy towards his face. He grabbed my hips and held me in place while he passionately moaned against me, sending shivers through my body. Matt was surprising me by the minute. He was certainly a jack of all trades, and I was learning I didn't even know a lot about him at all, only the parts that he wanted me to see. And the more I saw, the more I liked.

I started digging my nails into his shoulders as he continued to eat me like a mad man, running his hands and his tongue anywhere he pleased, and every time I was responsive to the way he touched me, he moved more eagerly. I was a moaning, writhing wreck under the flick of his tongue the carress of his fingers. I had never let a customer go down on me before. There were a lot of ethical boundaries I was willing to cross at this point for Matt. It just made it even hotter that we were playing into this fantasy that we didn't know each other and that he was just paying for a stripper - and at this point, basically a prostitute. I liked that Matt was paying me to eat my pussy. What a dream. And he was so wonderful at it too. Such attention to detail. So thorough. So restrained yet so urgent. I couldn't get enough of how much he wanted me.

"I'm so fucking in love with your pussy, I could eat you for hours," Matt mumbled in between licks. He closed his lips around my swollen bud and gently sucked on it until I was trembling and nearly screaming his name. "Yes, pretty girl. Make a mess on my tongue. I know you can do it," he cooed. His encouragement along with his skillful mouth had my second orgasm hitting me even harder than the first. I couldn't keep my hips from grinding against Matt's tongue while I twitched and whimpered obscenities, gripping the back of his head.

"Oh my fucking god. Where did you learn to do that?" I smiled down at him once I started to recover from my intense climax. "You're the one who basically showed me what to do with your body language. All I had to do was listen," he smirked. His answer was as hot as what he had just done to me. I liked the way Matt was in tune with my body, and the way he was trying things out to see how I'd react and then doing the things I loved over and over again. It was similar to how I behaved with my customers.

"Have you ever gone down on any other women in these clubs?" I asked him. "No, not ever. This was a first for me," he confided in me, which made me feel special. "First for me too. Guess it wouldn't hurt if we went further.." my voice started to trail off. "Say no more, princess," Matt said, finally taking the time to take off my panties instead of just moving them to the side again.

He unbuttoned his pants, pulled down his boxers, and entered me with no warning. I felt myself invite him in easily, and he started pumping in and out out of me aggressively. I loved the way he filled me and the way he spoke to me. I loved the way his lips parted to let out a stream of moans and the way he looked at me with his glazed over blue eyes, letting me know he couldn't take it much longer. His cock repeatedly hitting my pleasure spot was sending me over the edge again. I throbbed around his thickness as another wave crashed over me, and I got lost in it for a moment. All I could feel was endless pleasure, and there was a ringing in my ears that lasted for several minutes after I came. Matt loudly groaned "Oh, fuck," while he pulled out, leaving a mess on my pussy, and we both watched as his cock twitched and released his sticky white substance. He smiled down proudly and in awe of the way his ejaculate glistened on my womanhood.

He collapsed on the couch beside me after it was all over. "You're so much different at work as opposed to the shy girl I see every day," Matt nudged me. "Not shy, just keep my cards close to my chest," I corrected him. "But yeah, you're so much different as well. Who knew you could fuck like that?" I said, licking my lips, and he grinned as I complimented him.

"I've gotta go, sweetheart. The club is closing in ten minutes, and I've gotta come up with something to tell Chris and Nick about why I've been gone for several hours," he laughed. He leaned down one more time to stroke my face, and he gave me a sensual, slow, deep kiss. "Matt, seriously, come again. I loved doing business with you," I smiled up at him, not wanting him to leave. "I'll be back darling. Don't worry. I'd pay a million dollars if I had it to drown in that sweet pussy again. Just promise me, it'll be our little secret."

[nathaslosthershit]

A Big Question (Teen Dad!Oscar AU) Part 2

(Read part 1 of this duology first!) (Part 9 of Teen Dad!OP au) Summary: Oscar needs to mend what he broke and he needs to do it fast

Getting into the car, Honey whipped the tears from her cheeks as she made up a lame excuse as to why Oscar wasn’t with her. The driver knew that she wasn’t being truthful, but thought it best to let the girl be. Having dessert and drinks in the picnic basket that Oscar had set up for the two of them after dinner, Honey decided to not let the total night be a bust and have her own moonlight picnic on the beach while she sulked. 

Back at the restaurant, Oscar sat alone for a few minutes, digesting what had just happened before he got up and paid the bill. Walking outside, he had expected the car to still be there. Now stressed out, he got his phone to check where the car was heading, a frown appearing as he saw she was on her way to the beach, alone. 

While it wasn’t necessarily his decision to go back to racing so soon, he would be lying if he said he wasn’t thrilled that he would once again be in the car. He knew he had fucked up in the past by not prioritizing his family, but he had learned from those tough few months and wasn’t going to let it happen again. 

Deciding to let her have some time to process, Oscar ordered a car to take him home. He had expected to get back late and had told Lando to take the guest bedroom. So his friend was also not expecting him home so soon, and when Oscar came home early, alone, and clearly upset, Lando was worried.

“Mate! What happened? Where is she? Did you get to-” Lando jumped up from the couch to meet his teammate at the door.

“No, I was interrogated and let it slip about what my meeting was about and before I could say or do anything, she left the restaurant.”

“Where is she now? Do you know? She could be in trouble, it's late!”

“She took the driver and went to the beach, I assumed she wanted to be alone.” “No, you muppet! You should have absolutely followed her! Why would you let her go off alone when she is upset? She doesn’t even know the full story and you are letting her think the worst.”

Oscar hadn’t thought of that, he probably should have gotten all he wanted to say out first before leaving her alone. God, he was such an idiot to let this happen again. To his credit, Lando was being very helpful. It never dawned on Oscar that he could need relationship advice, for his relationship of 7 years, from Lando Norris himself.

“Fuck, you’re right. But I did leave her, what should I-”

“Go to her! Jesus, Oscar what are you waiting around for, this was supposed to be the perfect night and you fucked it up 45 minutes into it! Fix it now!” With that, Lando shoved his friend out the door.

Driving closer to his average speed on the track rather than the speed limit, Oscar jumped out the car the minute he saw what looked like his girlfriend’s silhouette on the sand. He had spent the short car ride thinking of what he was going to say, how he was going to fix this. The moment she looked up at him though, hiccuping from her cries, everything he had rehearsed went out the window.

Instead he got down on the sand and held her tighter than he had in a long time.

“I don’t want to end up the way we were, Oscar. We were miserable, even before the fight.” She sobbed into his neck.

“I know, sweetheart. I don’t want to end up that way either. Never, ever again.” He replied soothingly, even though he could feel his heart breaking alongside her’s.

“I just felt so alone. Watching you choose your career over me, over the kids! It was so hard to see time and time again. I am not that strong.” “Hey, you are stronger than you know possible, my love. I know I have put you through hell, getting you pregnant at 17, reacting terribly to the news, then making so many empty promises and prioritizing the wrong things. But I promise, Honey, I will never ever make those same mistakes. I meant what I said before, you are it for me. I will never love anyone the way I love you, and I will spend the rest of my life making up for my shortcomings.” He said as he cupped her cheeks, whipping away the tears. 

Seeing her smile once again, he reached into his pocket to pull out the box that had been there all night. Her eyes lit up at the realization of what it was.

“Oscar, I-”

“I know this is a terrible time, I am the reason you were sitting here, alone and crying, but this is what I had planned all along. I was, of course, going to tell you about the meeting, but after I did, I wanted to reassure you that I wasn’t going anywhere, that I would never be leaving your side for as long as I live. My career is only going to get more hectic and unpredictable as time goes on, but I am going to go through it with you all as my priorities. I am in it to win, but I am also in it to provide for you all, and I sure as hell am going to return back to you all after every race. I love you so much, Honey, ever since I saw you at that karting track, months before you had even looked at me. I know I said ‘I’d knock your socks off with this second proposal’, and I was going to! But there is nothing more important to me right now than you knowing how much you mean to me, how much the kids mean to me. So please, my love, will you marry me?” He quickly got on one knee and opened the ring box. It was the same ring as before, but he had added two tiny stones onto the band, framing the much larger diamond, on one side was his birthstone, on the other, her own. 

Trying to reply had been harder than she thought as all these new emotions of relief and unadulterated happiness caused her to, instead of answering him, sob even harder into his shoulder.

“I know this is a lot, but if its too much, if you don't want to marry m-”

“Yes! Of course I do Oscar! Oh my I- I am just so relieved and emotional I can’t-”

“Shhhh, its okay I promise.” He laughed, tears of his own starting to fall as they held each other.

Several minutes were spent recuperating until Oscar was finally able to slip the ring back onto her finger. “I hope you didn’t eat all the dessert, I was kind of hoping we could eat it together.” Oscar joked.

“Don’t worry, I didn’t touch that. The wine on the other hand-”

They sat in each other’s company well past their usual bedtime, the twins normally tiring them out enough they can’t stay up past 10. But with the engagement firing them up, they were still wide awake as they both stumbled home, deciding in their tipsy state to take the chauffeur and leave Oscar’s car there for the night. 

Lando, who had taken to the guest room hours before the happy couple got back, was relieved when he was woken up to giggles being interrupted by what was clearly a make out session. And as he heard the couple close their bedroom door, he decided it was best to put his noise canceling headphones on in order to not scar himself for life, and to let them enjoy their night without any listeners.

oscarpiastri

liked by logansargeant, mclaren, landonorris, and 938,269 others

oscarpiastri Second times the charm or whatever they say. Who cares- I am getting married!

[jawbone-xylophone]

Okay time to be really opinionated: I think almost the entire TMA fandom writes Michael Distortion wrong.

Every time I read a fic about him people are emphasizing how swirly and elongated he/it is.

What's scary about Michael is that it is essentially the living personification of gaslighting. He makes everything else metaphorically swirly.

Sure there's "nobody would believe you", but most people who meet Michael think he looks angelic. He only looks scary out of the corner of your eye, or if he's feeding you just enough truth to get your guard down. He's fun to draw and describe as a psychedelic nightmare, but he is basically the gaslighting demon. It's a polite young man with curly hair and a beautiful smile who you could absolutely take home to meet your mother.

You only know he's a monster because your lizard brain starts screaming.

On a related note, its portfolio also includes dissociation and hallucinations, and nobody takes enough advantage of that– like, kissing Michael. Lots of people describe kissing Michael as a very physical event with notes of static and that tingling sensation of limbs falling asleep. A good start, but my argument: you feel him smooching your cheek and giving your hand a cute little squeeze, despite the fact that he's across the room ordering a coffee. It feels so real. You can feel his callouses catching at your fingers, but no matter how you flex your hand there's nothing there but air. You don't know if you just want it that badly and your eyes are lying, or what. He brings you a coffee and the sensation vanishes.

I know exactly what that episode about "the man who wasn't there" was because I've experienced it, and nobody utilizes that enough. Have you ever closed your eyes and tried to walk through a room, and been Firmly Convinced there was an object in front of you you were about to run into, despite no evidence of such an object when you open your eyes? It's a little like that. Any sort of relationship with Michael Distortion (not recommended and likely a way it has killed many people) would involve you getting comfortable with the fact that your senses are lying to you at an exponentially increasing rate, like a frog slowly being boiled alive.

Is he there? Is he not? Does it matter? You feel loved. You remember being told good morning and eating a homemade breakfast. Did you actually? Maybe it's a memory from a year ago you only think is from this morning. He's adorable even if his laugh gives you tinnitus. Maybe you've always had migraines. He takes care of you through them. Can you remember what he does to take care of you? ....normal people stuff, probably. Ice packs. You think he brought you ice packs once. You're sitting at a bus stop, going... somewhere, for a reason you're sure, and your body is telling you you're sitting on his lap but you keep checking, tapping with your nails, and the seat is hard metal. Does it matter? Maybe it really is him. You'd prefer if it was him. These cute little hallucinations are his way of showing affection. It's comfortable, even when the city shuts off your water because you only thought you paid your bills. He gives you his coat in the rain, and you laugh together and run through the weather, but when you get home you're holding a stranger's purse full of cash instead of a coat and you have no idea why. It's his idea of affection, though. He says he loves you when you ask about it, anyway, and don't you need the money now?

He's a lovely young man and the only normal thing in a world gone mad. The gloves only come off when it's done playing with its food.

[bluesest]

A guy telling his boyfriend who is sitting on the toilet to hold in his diarrhea and beg for release

A Holding Boyfriend

My boyfriend and I had a great amazing date where we went to a critically acclaimed restaurant called: "The evening", it was an amazing night and the dishes were a total delight:

As an entrance they gave us a glass with 10 shrimp, they looked incredible and my boyfriend devoured most of them, I wanted to stop him because he was aware of what happens to his stomach when he consumes any type of seafood, but when I told him he replied:

Boyfriend: "It's not for so much love, I prefer the taste and suffer the consequences, because I tell you that this is totally delicious"

Me: "It won't be nice when... forget it"

I stopped at that precise moment, my neurons agreed that this could lead to a situation that was quite ... interesting.

10 minutes of anecdotes and laughter passed, the waiter gave us the main course: "Filet Mignon" with potatoes and asparagus, we had several sauces to choose from but my boyfriend's favorites were: "Brown Sauce" made from celery, onion, meat broth, garlic, among other ingredients, and also the classic barbecue sauce, all these made in an artisanal way, It was an amazing dinner at an amazing restaurant, we paid the bill and with a great feeling in our stomachs we left the establishment.

When I got into the car my boyfriend said some words that would leave me cold:

Boyfriend: "I think it's better to leave the windows open"

Me: "But it's very cold out there"

Boyfriend: "My stomach is baking something heavy, I think it wasn't a good idea after all"

Me: "I warned you"

Boyfriend: "But I don't regret it"

He started leaning quickly, held the steering wheel tightly and let out a giant gas, I never thought he would be able to match something like that.

*PPFPFPFPFPFPTTTTTTTTTTTT*

Boyfriend: "Ufffff that was a good one"

I blushed at the time, me and he have been together for at least 3 years where we have acquired a small apartment and I had never heard or smelled a fart like that in the time I live with him.

Neither he nor I bothered at that moment, as a couple we have witnessed many things from each other including our embarrassments, he is usually quite open to these issues and has no shame at all about farting at least in front of me, it is something I admire about him, his trust towards me to show something that you would never show someone, even if it is something as "disgusting" but natural as farts.

He began to laugh sheepishly while I enjoyed the natural smell of his intestines invading my nostrils touching them softly like a light, pleasant scent of a small flower between his large, tight buttocks.

He began to feel his stomach with his left hand as he paid attention to the road and said:

Boyfriend: "I feel gassy"

My eyes shone with those words, I didn't want to be an obstacle to him so I said:

Me: "Fart freely, don't worry about me"

Boyfriend: "Are you sure? I mean... doesn't it bother you?"

I put my hand on his stomach and said, "I like every part of you" and then I started to lower my hand to his crotch releasing some of the sexual pressure I felt and couldn't hold, just the smell that was locked in the car served as an aphrodisiac for me.

Boyfriend: "You should take that hand out of there"

Me: "Why?"

*PPFPTPPTPTPTPTPTPTPTPTPTF* *PRRRRRR*

I was immediately surprised and automatically began to grab his crotch more tightly:

Boyfriend: "Calm down there babe, I don't want your hand to stink of shrimp and meat"

Me: "You know me, I like your meat"

Boyfriend: "hahahaha... I can't believe we're doing this while I'm driving and farting."

Me: "I can't believe this is heating me up"

Boyfriend: "Don't worry, very soon we will arrive at the apartment *PFFTFTTFTFTFTFTFTFT* and the bathroom"

It was 10 minutes on the road where I tried to ignore my farting boyfriend, in total he farted about 3 before arriving, but it was impossible for me to think of anything other than his tight buttocks vibrating from the air that comes out.

Entering the apartment I try to kiss him and continue releasing the tension, but he stops me and says:

Boyfriend: "Not now, I must visit the bathroom for a moment"

Me: "From 1 to 10, how much do you need to go to the bathroom?"

Boyfriend: "like a 6, but the more time passes the more I will want to"

Me: "That means you'll be able to hold on for a while longer."

Boyfriend: "I don't know..."

Me: "It will be quick, let's go"

Boyfriend: "Okay, I guess I'll hold on a little longer before... *PPPFFTFTTFTF* uuppss now went up to a 7"

We both started to hug each other, I took the first step and started to lower my hand and grabbed his left buttock with passion while he began to kiss me and guided me to our bed where we let ourselves fall without separating our bodies and lips, he began to moan very low shyly while my hand went up his entire back.

*PPPFFFFTFTFTTF*

He stopped kissing me and his face moved away from mine, with a look full of passion and shame he told me: "Babe, I really need to go to the bathroom", I pretending not to have heard him I started to lower my hand again and this time I put it under his underwear touching his bare buttock feeling a little sweat and chills from his big butt.

However, while I was caressing his buttocks he touched my arm and said: 

Boyfriend: "Hey, you just realized you put your hand under my underpants seconds after I fart, didn't you?" 

Me: "I know, but I don't care, you're irresistible."

Boyfriend: "Even if it smells like rotten eggs?"

Me: "Even if you're shit on yourself, I'll love you"

Boyfriend: "Then I'll check if that's true."

He started staring me in the eye as he applied some pressure to my arm and...*PFPPTPTPTPPFPFFTFTFTF* *PRRRR*

I was too surprised, not only by the fact that my biggest wet dreams came true, but also by the fact that I felt a few small drops on my hand, it could be sweat, but I would rather imagine that it was that thick mixture that is cooking in his stomach wanting to come out, and his comment gave me a clue.

Boyfriend: "That was a wet one... I must go to the bathroom"

Me: "But I just showed you that I don't care what your body does while we love each other."

Boyfriend: "I know, but now my desire has gone up to an 8, this is already serious"

Me: "And what would be the problem?"

Boyfriend: "That at any moment I could... make a mess"

For a moment I thought I was taking this too far, maybe he doesn't like this as much as I do, I started to feel guilty about forcing me to do something that my boyfriend doesn't like and dislikes, my lust left my body for a moment and I was about to give my boyfriend "Permission" to go to the bathroom once and for all and maybe continue with this without the factor Farting and diarrhea wouldn't be as interesting, but those thoughts left my head when I heard him say, "But I could take it longer, babe."

He said it with a mischievous smile and eyes full of passion and desire, he put both his hands behind my head and pushed it gently and slowly towards his head, where our lips collided again with even more passion than the first time, now he was the one who began to hug me and caress my back and I innocently wanted to do the same as him and I started to take my hand out of his ass to carry it behind him but he stopped me: "You said you didn't care if I suck right? Then you will NOT take that hand off my ass" and without warning he farted violently and wetly: *PPFPPFPPTPPPTTTTFFFFTFTFT* *PRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR*

I groaned suddenly, even I was surprised and my boyfriend started laughing:

Boyfriend: "hahaha, I can't believe you did that when I farted"

Me: "Don't say stupid things, that was just a mixture of surprise and passion, that fart only surprised me and that's it"

Boyfriend: "Sure?" *PPPFTFTFTFTFTFF* *PPRPRPRPRPRPR* *PFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTTTTT*

I moaned again and was embarrassed to one more, but I felt my boyfriend's hand gently touching my cheek which managed to calm me down.

Boyfriend: "But at least I know you're serious when you say you love me."

Me: "Hahahaha enough of being ashamed"

Boyfriend: "I... *PFTFTFTFT* uffff... I'm serious, I was ashamed"

Me: "Shame?"

Boyfriend: "Embarrassment when I had to play the two while you were in the apartment, I was sorry that you heard or smelled, I always read on the internet that the main reasons for couple separations were because of this type of taboo subject?"

Me: "But why? If everyone does it"

Boyfriend: "It's just that... *PPPFTFTFTFTFTFTTF* aghhh, I think it's up to a 9 now, it's already dangerous at this point"

Me: "You don't have to be ashamed, at least not with me because you already know that I love you no matter if..."

Boyfriend: "I shit on myself... *GRRRRRRRRR* ohhhh stop for a moment... here comes a big one..."

Me: "Don't worry, you know I don't care"

Boyfriend: "I know... aghhh *PPPFTPTPTPTPTFFT* *PPRPRPRRRRRRRRRRR* *PFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFFTF* *PRRRRRRRRRRR* *GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR*"

We both stopped at that moment, he had a face of fear and shame which I didn't understand the reason until I felt a strange thick hot liquid that was where I understood everything.

I immediately pulled my hand out of his butt making it even more muddy, but I didn't do it because I was disgusted but because I wanted to see the mess my hand became when he expelled that rancid diarrhea mixture.

My boyfriend finally reacted to what had happened, he stood up and got out of bed, turned to look at me again, directed his gaze towards my hand with diarrhea and then to my face something shocked, and with shame in his eyes and in his voice he said: "Sorry, I think I measured wrong... It wasn't a 9, it was an 11"

After saying that, he walked making small jumps to take off his underwear with a big brown stain with lumps and once naked he went to the bathroom of our room without closing the door and before sitting on the toilet I took his arm which surprised him and turned quickly.

Let me tell you that it's not the first time I've seen him naked or vice versa, we were a couple after all, but it's the first time that his completely naked body almost gave me a heart attack, his ass stained with brown diarrhea, his big penis and his face of shame but that denotes a little passion made lust take control of my body and caused me to stop him before he released his stomach.

Boyfriend: "Babe, I know we were on to something, but I really have to go *GRRRRRRR* went up to 12"

Me: "I think you could hold on a little longer..."

Boyfriend: "Definitely not!"

Me: "You're a strong man, of course you can"

Boyfriend: "Babe didn't you see my underpants? I literally ruined them!"

Me: "Come on, they're not so bad, I can buy a whole box if you want"

Boyfriend: "I'm shitting, I need the toilet NOW!!"

Me: "And I need you NOW!!!"

The atmosphere became tense, we both screamed in desperation, but I definitely shouldn't have done that for a sexual game, I still wasn't sure if he liked that idea or was even enjoying everything that happened.

We both remained silent, he, even naked, stared at me with a bit of confusion while I couldn't look him in the eye because of how embarrassed he was.

Boyfriend: "Wow that's definitely not you, what's wrong with you, is there anything I can help you with?"

Me: "It's nothing, just that I really wanted to continue..."

He started to approach me slowly and gave me a hug, I felt his crotch harden, although to tell the truth I don't know if it was HIS crotch or mine, and with a soft voice he told me:

Boyfriend: "That has nothing to do with what we were doing, tell me the truth, I don't want to do something that bothers you..."

With shame and a trembling voice he had no choice but to confess.

Me: "This will sound weird or even disgusting to you, and I don't want you to think that about me..."

Boyfriend: "You are a beautiful man, sexy from head to toe and someone intelligent who always makes me laugh in my best moments or accompanies me in my worst moments, nothing you say is going to change my opinion of you or the love I feel for you"

His face slowly approached me and began to kiss me softly.

Me: "You see... I... I like what it's all about... well..."

Boyfriend: "Be confident"

Me: "I... I like it..."

Boyfriend: "Go ahead"

Me: "I LIKE TO SEE PEOPLE HAVE DIARRHEA, IT MAKES ME REALLY HOT TO SEE THEM IN A SITUATION LIKE THAT!!"

Boyfriend: "..."

Me: "It's... a fetish..."

I finally confessed, but... silence says more than a thousand words, doesn't it? He didn't say anything, at that moment I thought his face was one of contempt, disgust and horror, if he were honest and was in his reactionary position the same. I froze, I didn't know what to do, but...

Boyfriend: "hahahahaha..."

Me: "Why are you laughing?"

Boyfriend: "Let's say I have the perfect partner"

He kissed me again, then he moved away and with a funny but gallant look he says to me: 

Boyfriend: "I'm proud that you put your trust in me and that's why I love you, besides, that fetish is called Scat, just so that you are more informed"

Me: "Wait... Are you?"

Boyfriend: "I've never tried it before, but let's just say I'd really like to try it with you love"

This time I started kissing him, I couldn't believe it, he was definitely the perfect man for me... *GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR* He turned his face away from mine and said: 

Boyfriend: "All these emotions made me forget that I had to shit"

Me: "Hey... sorry for going too far, if you want I will leave you alone"

Boyfriend: "Don't you remember what I told you? I would like to try this... and I want you to be my guide"

Me: "Are you sure?"

Boyfriend: "Of course, but you better hurry, if I don't sit on that toilet right now... I think we will have to clean the floor"

I laughed shyly and we both moved towards the bathroom where I wonder: "what should I do now?"

I stopped for a moment, I didn't know what to do either because I had never been in a situation like this and I decided to start with something classic and simple:

Me: "How about something to hold on?"

Boyfriend: "Wasn't that what I've been doing all this time?"

Me: "Yes, but this time you'll push it to the limit, now sit on the toilet."

Boyfriend: "Like orders"

He went straight to the toilet, when he turned his back to me I could notice his big sweaty butt and a slight tightening of buttocks, you could tell from afar that he could barely move and prevent his entire interior from coming out in a violently explosive way.

A cold and short sound indicated that his butt kissed the porcelain, he raised his sexy gaze and looked me straight in the eyes waiting for my next order:

Me: "Just hold on until you can't take it anymore..."

Boyfriend: "Really? No kind of game or something?"

Me: "I'm new to this just like you!"

*GRRRRRRRRR*

Boyfriend: "I think my stomach is new to this too"

Me: "Let me hear your opinion"

Boyfriend: "Okay"

He subtly leaned into the seat, raising his butt as high as he could where he expelled a vibrating and loud fart: 

*PPPPPPPPPPPPPFFFFFFTTTTTT* *PRRRRRRRRRRRRR*

I could see small brown drops shoot out of his butt which at this point was so tight that it could easily break a nut.

Me: "Hey! You're cheating when you're farting"

Boyfriend: "I'm sorry babe, but at this point my body controls itself" 

He made the same motion to let loose an even bigger fart

*PPFPPTPTTPTPTPFFFTFTFTFTF* *PRRRRRR*

I couldn't tell if his little moan was one of pain or enjoyment, but I had no doubt that both parties enjoyed this little experience. I began to approach me:

*GRRRRRRRR* *PFFFFTTTT*

Boyfriend: "Oh! My intestines are burning"

Me: "Maybe I can help you with that..."

I slowly brought my hands closer to his stomach and began to caress him delicately making small circles one at a time.

*PFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFT*

Boyfriend: "Ufffff, I thought that the objective was to make it impossible for me to explode, not to make it easier for me"

Me: "I want it to be a bigger challenge, plus being so close to you I can smell you better"

Boyfriend: "hmmmm~ you really know what you do right?" *PFFFTTT*

Me: "Of course... The smell is amazing, how did you get your stomach to smell like a landfill?"

Boyfriend: "hmm~ I will confess something to you hmm~ in the morning I had a big cup of coffee..."

Me: "Knowing you and your stomach must have been a headache to endure that smell at work"

Boyfriend: *PFFTFTFTFTFTFTFT* "ugh, not at all, I thought I was going to shit about half an hour later, but hmmm~ it just didn't happen"

Me: "Really?"

Boyfriend: "No, it's hard to believe, but since the morning not a single fart came out, and I ate hot wings at lunch"

Me: "That would explain the dark brown color of those drops I saw..."

Boyfriend: "I thought that would make hmmmmm~ *PFTFTFTFT* go straight to the bathroom, but it didn't give a solution *PRRRRRRRRRR* I even heard several colleagues and even the boss destroy the office bathroom"

Me: "I can imagine the desperation of those poor men, but I am aware that out of all of them you would make the greatest disaster."

Boyfriend: "I'm happy I didn't at least touch those bathrooms with hot, sweaty toilet lids"

Me: "And it looks like someone else is happy too, doesn't it?"

His penis was completely erect, apparently the massages relaxed him enough so that the stress goes away and he can enjoy this in a more free and sexual way.

Boyfriend: "Like I told you, I can't control my body" *GRRRRRRRRRR*

Me: "Would you mind if...?"

Boyfriend: "Don't ask and do it!"

I lowered my head directly to his crotch, down there it smelled worse and I could see how the clear water of the toilet had small brown dots indicating that all the farts were wet.

I asked his to get up a little from the toilet, then I put my left hand behind me and started to touch his sweaty butt feeling how my hand gets hotter and hotter thanks to the oven generated inside the toilet.

*PFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTF* *PRRRRR* *PFFTFTFFF* *PPPPFTFTFTFFFFFTTTTTT*

Boyfriend: "oops, I hope it doesn't bother you..."

Me: "~Not at all~"

*GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR*

Boyfriend: "Fuck, I don't think I will resist for long"

Me: "Please, we've had sex longer than this."

Boyfriend: "I don't mean that! I mean my stomach, it's starting to burn."

Me: "Be a man and endure like one"

Boyfriend: "I'll expel everything and we'll continue with this later"

Me: "That wasn't the love deal, and you know it~"

I could smell it, the smell of despair, he began to sweat more and I could feel drops of sweat falling on my hair and arms as he slowly lost control.

*PFTFTFTFTFTFTF* *PFTFTFFFFTFTPPPPPPFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTTTTT* *PRRRRTRRRRRR*

Boyfriend: "hmmmmm~ my stomach hurts a lot, please release me my love"

Me: "No, I want you to break a world record"

Boyfriend: "And I'll break it, but it'll be the size of the largest human excrement."

Me: "In your case they will have to weigh it in liters, by your farts you can tell that it will be liquid"

Boyfriend: "ohhh.... Please *PFTFTFTFTFTFT* I can't anymore... *PRRRRRRRR* More! *TRRRRRRRRRRR*"

Notice how his farts became more and more violent, in a few seconds his stomach will not resist and the great wall of his sphincter will break giving way to the brown army.

Me: "You're sweating a lot..."

Boyfriend: "I know hahaha... but please, I can't resist much longer..." *PFFFTTTT* *GRRRRRRRRRR*

I raised my head and went to his lips and began to kiss him passionately, the atmosphere was heavy, it was very hot and even the smell had flooded the small room. When our lips parted, he said to me: 

Boyfriend: "I'm sorry Babe"

I passed so fast that I could hardly react, the first explosion echoed off the walls and I instinctively lowered my head to see the fireworks on the front page:

*PRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR* *PFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFFTTTT* *TRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR* *PSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS* *GRRRRRR* *PFFFFFTTTTTT* *PFFFFFFFFFFFTTFTTF*

He doesn't stop moaning, while from my perspective I can see a large fountain staining the white porcelain of the toilet that I always worry about seeing it clean, but still I don't care at all, I can always clean it at any time, but this doesn't happen again, or at least I've never experienced it before.

*SQHSQHQSHSQHSSSHSHSHSHHHHHHHHH* *PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTTTTT* *PRRRRR* *PLOP* *PLOP* *PRRRRRRRRRRRR* *TRRRRRRRR* *BLRRRRRSSSHHHHHHH* *PFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTT* *PFFFFTT* *PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPRRRRRRRRRRRR*

Jet after jet fell impacting the water like a strong hurricane into the ocean, the few solid pieces looked like meteorites causing large explosions of brown water as they crashed into the large polluted ocean.

Boyfriend: "oh... wow, I've never shit like this in my life *GRRRRRRRRR* ughhhh"

*PFFFFFTTFTFTFTFTFF* *PRPRPRPRPRPRPRPR* *SHQHQSHQSHQSHSSSHHSHSHQSHQSHSQQSQQSQS* *FFFFFFFTTTTTTTPPPPPPPP* *PSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS* *SQSTSQRQSRSSSRSRSRQQQRQRQRRRRRRRRRRR*

Me: "I know, it was amazing, don't you think?"

Boyfriend: "Sure"

Me: "Now, do you want me to clean you down there?"

Boyfriend: "Of course"

[alessiamalfoyzabini]

𝐇𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲 𝐄𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 | 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐎𝐧𝐞

Pairing | Yandere Jungkook x Reader

Word Count | 2,382

Warnings | +18, bullying, for the moment only this

This does not reflect my way of thinking or living at all, it is just a work of fiction, it is like watching a horror movie, many of us love horror movies, but we would never dream of what we see in those movies happening in reality as well.

Simply put, this story was written for entertainment purposes, it should not be seen as a reflection of my values, opinions or morals. I absolutely do not condone such acts.

⤷ Summary | If she had paid attention earlier to the sin that dwelt behind those obsidian irises, she would never have trusted it.

If she had noticed earlier the devouring love that dwelled in his corrupt heart, she probably would have fled.

She had done none of that, and now she had to come to terms with her new reality.

➢ Author's Note | This work originated in Italian, so i apologize for any errors you will find, i am not a native english speaker, so go ahead and write in the comments where and what i can improve! 🥺❤

Chapter List - I - II - III - IV - V - VI - VII - VIII / The End

There was something in the air that day, something that weighed down her chest and left a bitter aftertaste in her mouth.

She looked outside her room and saw large gray clouds looming ominously, it was probably an approaching storm, and even so, she would still have to go to school, she could not escape her school obligations.

She had done so much to escape the harsh judgment of her family members, she knew that attending college was a huge expense for her parents, especially for being an out-of-towner with so much rent and bills to pay, so the only thing she could do to repay them was to get good grades and come out with a more than excellent GPA, without mentioning her problems.

So the girl prepared herself for yet another stressful and gloomy day, surrounded by prof's coaches and daddy's boys who wouldn't stop bragging about their possessions for a moment.

She adjusted her jacket and grabbed the bag containing all the necessary books, grabbed the house keys on the fly and locked the door behind her, not before nodding in the direction of the elderly neighbor who came out with her adorable little wagging dog every morning at that hour.The little Maltese barked in her direction and with a smile walked over to the couple, stroking the soft coat of the dog who, excited, hoisted himself up on two paws, accompanying her caresses with his head. Y/N burst out laughing at that warm expression of appreciation, could it be that only a dog was able to accept it without judgment?

"Do you go to school, Y/N?" asked the lady with a smile.

The girl nodded, "That's right, Mrs. Choi...I have a test today, I hope everything goes well."

"Oh, take it easy, my dear. I really feel that something new will happen for you today," the elderly woman's smile widened and Y/N was interjected.

She was no stranger to the strange outings of the woman, who very often seemed absent-minded and pensive, but a strange chill caught her. She tried to dilute the air with a giggle, "I hope it's also something good," she joked lightly, the woman rippled her lips.

"It depends on your point of view," she shrugged.

Y/N's smile faded away, not wanting to inquire further she decided it was getting quite late and waved a little awkwardly to her wacky neighbor, giving one last caress to the little dog, who continued to bark in her direction, trying to call her back.

"Come on, Y/N...you can get through this day too without too many hiccups," she said to herself, trying to mentally build up her courage. She arrived at the university with a lump in her throat, aware that once she entered the classroom she would see the haughty faces of her classmates again.

She was an outcast and the only classmate with whom she had come to form a decent bond of friendship had to change her address because that faculty was not suitable for her. But to say that she had simply grown tired of being bullied was perhaps easier.

She took a deep breath and entered the classroom, as she presaged, smiles filled with mockery accompanied her all the way to her seat, she took out the appropriate book for that hour of class and ignored everyone, no one however lent her a further glance, the arrival of the teacher had nipped in the bud any attempt at mockery.

Taking a test at the first hour was never easy for anyone, but the girl more than gladly accepted that chance to escape her foolish classmates.

She carried out the task in complete silence, interrupted only briefly by a few balls of paper and notes, some asking her to have her copied, others admonishing her not to sully their own air with her presence. Y/N swallowed, such doggedness seen from an outside eye might have seemed surreal, but to her it was normalcy.

They bothered her just for the sake of it, because she was the one without money, she was the unfashionable girl, she lived in a miserable apartment in a miserable neighborhood, she was everything they were not.

"Psst... Psst, little one!"

Y/N initially ignored that low whisper, but at yet another ball thrown at her head, she turned away in annoyance.

This was Kang Yoozu, one of the boys who worked hardest to make her school life a living hell; he seemed to take pleasure in constant torture and Y/N was often one of his favorite victims.

"What the hell do you want?!" she growled, impatient. He shrugged, "I just wanted to ask you if you were free later."

Y/N frowned, what was that jerk saying?

"Why would you care, Yoozu?" she asked, strangled.

A wicked smile spread across the classmate's face, "Your parents are street food vendors, right? How much can they possibly make per month?"

Y/N found herself gritting her teeth, ignoring the amused exclamations of the others; the professor seemed to have disappeared into thin air, which frustrated the girl even more.

"I don't know what you're getting at, but I suggest you shut your mouth," she said harshly and Yoozu's eyes narrowed.

"I'm just wondering how they were keep you, don't you think it's incumbent on them to lighten their load and earn money in other ways?"

The young woman blanched at the outrageous statement-what the fuck was she implying?! "And let's hear it-what would those ways be?" she rose from her chair under everyone's gaze.

Yoozu looked around with feigned interest, then elbowed his seatmate, chuckling.

"Well, I have a lot of money, a fuck or two wouldn't hurt, don't you think? You would earn honestly on your own strength," the whole class erupted in convulsive laughter, Y/N felt humiliated. She had endured much from them, had swallowed a myriad of bitter morsels, but no, that one would not let her get away with it.

In a very brief instant she found herself facing the smug boy who stared at her with satisfaction, and soon the scarlet shape of five perfectly outlined fingers was stamped on the candid face of that being, a being who for two years had made it unbearable for her to study for a better future. The noise was a dull pop and everyone fell silent.

Yoozu's eyes turned icy, and soon he jerked up from his chair, flipping it behind him.

"You dared too much, beggar" he made to approach threateningly, no one would intervene, she knew, but fortunately the professor's voice stopped whatever was about to happen.

"What the heck is going on in this class? Y/N! Yoozu! Go back to your seats immediately before I suspend your test."

The man's threatening voice made the boy take a step back, Y/N went back to her seat, but she felt the threatening gaze of her companion behind her the rest of the time, until the end of the hour sounded and everyone got up to leave their verifications on the professor's desk, who collected all the papers and added something to the register, which Y/N guessed was about her and Yoozu. A sick feeling invaded her stomach, she did not want her average to drop because of a bastard like Kang Yoozu, he had practically invited her to prostitute herself. With him.

Disgusted she took the art sketchbook from her bag, a small smile was born on her lips.

Classes with Professor Jeon always gave her a chance to get through the day in a slightly more uplifted mood.

He was a young boy ready to put himself on the front lines to help his students, older than her by five years, he had found a place in the university where he had studied because all the school staff thought he was deserving of getting a professorship there. And, Y/N admitted at least to herself, he was handsome as well as kind and helpful. She felt her heartbeat increase when her favorite professor made his entrance into the classroom, greeting all his pupils with a bright smile, exchanged a few words with the older professor who gave way to him, and during that conversation the girl clearly heard the excited murmurs of her classmates. They did not think much about it, giving vent to their shamelessly enamored sighs.

Y/N merely shrugged her shoulders as the young professor took a seat behind the desk and gave everyone a jovial look.

"Good morning, guys" he said quietly, a chorus of "good morning" and "hello" rose from the desks.

Y/N watched spellbound as the corner of his lips slightly lifted in a satisfied smile of the man, her professor's long hair that day was tied in a ponytail that the girl found damn adorable, which contrasted with the tattoos that decorated the entire arm left uncovered by the pulled-up shirt sleeve, the man crossed his arms and his biceps swelled in a hypnotic movement that caught the girl unprepared, she felt her body set on fire and with shame removed her gaze.

What she did not know was that Jungkook was also watching her. He never let her out of his sight, in truth.

From the first time he had caught her rushing into the classroom, wet as a tender chick, Jungkook could not help but feel a strange flutter every time he laid eyes on his pupil. Their eyes had met for the first time that day, a rush had gone through him from side to side, thunderstruck by that little figure who had bowed in apology over and over again.

And it was wrong, he should never have taken an interest in one of his students like that, but he was a man, a man with secret feelings and appetites, and everything about Y/N screamed timidity and fragility.

He wanted to protect her, wanted to take her away, wanted to make her his.

He knew about the way her classmates treated her, his colleagues sometimes talked about it during lunch breaks, this was terrible for him, it hurt him to even imagine the way the girl felt, he would have protected her if it was possible, but each time the bullying happened in his absence, and as a professor he could do nothing if Y/N herself did not ask for help. He could not punish the perpetrators without catching them in the act. The young man sighed, before lowering his eyes to the register, frowning at what he found written there.

"Park Y/N and Kang Yoozu were found standing during testing time, they looked like they were about to start a fight, I intervened in time to put them in their place."

Jungkook gritted his teeth as he read his student's name next to Y/N's.

The girl was too quiet a person to provoke a quarrel, his dark irises stopped on Yoozu, who was giggling along with his partner as his scribbled something in sketchbook.

Y/N, on the other hand, waited quietly and composedly for her class to begin, and that told Jungkook a lot about the dynamics of the strange event described by his colleague.

He rose from his chair clearing his throat, all eyes were soon on him.

He sensed the mischievous glances of the girls in his direction, he knew he was very much desired, after all he was the only young professor in the institution, but he did not let those attentions buy him, the only gaze he wanted on himself was that of the same girl who was anxiously crushing her fingers.

He leaned back against the desk, crossing his arms again, and in Y/N's gaze he read something very much like... desire? He looked at her, biting his lips for a thousandth of a second, clenching the tender flesh between his teeth, but that minimal amount of time was enough for the girl to widen her eyes and lower them immediately afterward, her cheeks flushed. Jungkook felt himself tightening in his pants, thinking that he was so adorable that he wanted to fuck her right then, in front of everyone.

He would have gladly made her cry as his cock penetrated her deeply.

"Guys, today I'm not going to talk to you about history and artists," he began, his voice crystal clear and smooth, "But about a subject that, unfortunately, will never stop being talked about," he paused behind Yoozu's desk.

He observed the lines drawn by the boy on the once-clean page, Yoozu made to cover his scrawl, but Jungkook was quick to catch him, "Let me see a bit, Kang," he said, before taking a better look at that jumble of shapeless lines, which took on the appearance of a naked girl with a tear-streaked face, there was a uniform at the corner of the paper and a bag, which Jungkook immediately recognized, raised an eyebrow in the boy's direction and returned the object to him, not without first tearing up the page, "Drawing your companions without clothes is not what I asked you to do, Yoozu.

Employ my hour to draw something in good taste, instead of indulging in such disgusting antics," the man scolded him harshly. The student bowed his head, humiliated, apologetically, and his deskmate turned away, as if to put some distance between himself and his friend, which the teacher laughed at internally. It was precisely people like Yoozu who had no friends.

Jungkook finally turned around and walked in Y/N's direction, stopped just behind her and lowered himself until he reached her ear, "Today's lesson is about bullying," he murmured, the girl felt her legs trembling under his low and sweet tone, she meekly nodded, writing on a vacant page the theme, then Jungkook raised his voice slightly, "I would like you all to draw a representation of bullying, also writing a small dedication to the kids who experience it firsthand."

When the young teacher turned away from her, Y/N resumed breathing normally.

Everyone caught the stinging reference, the girl gazed admiringly at Jungkook's strong shoulders, perfectly aligned in a proud posture that Y/N had no trouble finding attractive, clutched the pencil grip and set to work, unaware of the forbidden desire she aroused moment by moment in her teacher.

[janecuppa]

Hello ladies and gents!

What you all have been waiting for has arrived! THE TEA.

I just have a few things I want to say first to bring understanding and clarification. I'm not a lawyer. I'm not going to try to sway you one way or another. I'm just going to lay it all out and let you decide. I feel what I share should be able to speak for itself. I may share some opinions and conclusions I've come to, but that is all. Opinions are not facts. It's just what I personally think.

I will admit the tea was served to me with a clear bias, so I will also have to pass it on with a bias.

I don't believe in trying to influence what you think and believe. Trying to coerce you into what I think, because it really doesn't matter. I think it should speak for itself. Those who influence and try to control what you think do so because they want to brainwash you into their way of thinking. I don't think that's right. Autonomy is so important to me. You should have your own freedom in that. So just take it in. Think it over. Decide for yourself.

Use some critical thinking.

Because I will say, when people get a little loud, defensive and aggressive and try to manipulate you and convince you of something, there is a reason. They're usually feeling threatened and insecure. And want to distract you and lead you away from what they don't want you to see. They will flow through different gears. Aggression and defensive to sometimes dismissive. Truth doesn't require such aggressive defending. Truths speak for themselves. Lies don't. Lies need weaving and defending.

So whenever someone has got defensive with me, I pause and bring a more critical eye to the situation. Why? Why are you defensive? What are you trying to deflect? Or if they get dismissive and almost seem to try to make you feel like an idiot for even considering it. "Don't be ridiculous. Why would you even give that a thought?". Theres something off there.

And every single time I've experienced that, I later realized it was because I was getting a little too close to comfort to seeing a truth. Many people can't handle the shame of being found out. So they try to intimidate. They get loud, defensive, or they'll try a different gear and attempt to dismiss it. So, just keep that in mind. If something is being talked about and causes a commotion, there is a reason why.

I keep in mind that people see and interact with the world with their own lense. People who bluster and bully, that says more about them. That reflects on them. It has nothing to do with me. It doesn't intimidate me. Go ahead. I'm not going to volly back. It's not worth it to me. I rather watch snow melt.

So go ahead, try to bully me. Riot and whoever else. You'll just be fighting with yourself. I didn't even bother reading what riot was posting because I really didn't care. I just immediately blocked her so I would stop being tagged and included with the infantile behavior. Do what you have to in order to cope. If it's throwing all the heinous words, threats and whatever else at me, go hard and have fun. And if some of the "NV stans" are paid like some think, then you go earn that coin! Put money in the bank! We all have bills to pay. I get it 🤣. But that still supports my point. If you're on a payroll, you're being told to go be loud and distractive for a reason.

Now. I went in search for answers. I'm snoopy and I want to understand. I ask questions. This entire thing has been bizarre and I think many could see that. It wasn't convincing. I knew there would be cracks and leaks if you searched hard enough. There's people out there that can't help themselves, regardless of administration and NDAs. There are many people around them. Some more consistently and some in passing. I knew there had to be a hotel worker, a sound guy, a friend of a friend, a waitress or something like that out there that would have seen or heard something. Some people can't help themselves if they think something is juicy. They'll tell their spouse, best friends, and maybe their parents. So I went in search for these people. I was determined and I did finally make some connections with seemingly valuable information. The one in particular proved themselves out when they told me that Henry and Natalie would have a public appearance soon. A few days later was the Enola Holmes premiere. The others had plausible stories that I wasn't seeing be talked about. I took it in under consideration, and that's where those stories still are filed. "Consideration and speculation." This is gossip. It's heresay. You have to remember that. It's not the gospel truth and should not be taken that way. Although I will say, personally speaking, that I'm lending it more weight based on the aggression I faced when I first started posting. Something in there is ruffling feathers and there is a reason.

I'll repeat. I'm not the only one who knows this stuff. If they were willing to tell me, they were willing to tell others. It has also been discussed in group chats. I myself have shared with selected people. This information is out there. I'm just the one who decided they were bored, realized they were sitting with all this gossip, and decided to put on the kettle. I knew what I was doing. I don't plan on outting my connections and sources. I don't think I could anyway if I wanted. They were careful. Thank you for your patience. I felt like I was back in university, sifting through textbooks and notebooks while I wrote an essay. That is what took time, trying to go back through conversations to make sure I had it right.

Now the fun begins! Remember, this is all alleged, gossip and heresay and not the gospel truth. I'm just repeating what all I've managed to find. Also, keep in mind I've been snooping and filing everything away for years. There is a lot to recall. I have had many many hours of conversations about this shit show. So even with all I share, I feel like you still will only get a summary. I feel like this could be written into a novel. Keep truck loads of salt nearby.

I've had multiple sources over the years. Some long term. Some have come and gone. I'm not going to keep mentioning them, but my making these multiple connections has enabled me to get all this gossip. It pays to be stubborn and snoopy.

This is probably going to come across as a story and in a way they are. It's gossip. It's multiple stories I've heard about them. I'm going to try to relay it how it was relayed to me.

Let's start from the beginning.

Henry was still under management with Dany. Dany liked to utilize PR relationships. They're common in Hollywood. They're a good way to generate traffic online and in the media with a celebrities name. People want to know the hottest gossip. Who is dating who. It helps keep their name being mentioned and relevant. In this type of business, they want to be relevant.

They wanted him to look like he upped his game from past girlfriends. They wanted to give him the look that he had a hot shot, big-time girlfriend in the industry. She wanted to take her career in a different direction, and she was only too happy to play along. She had been selected by Dany, and he agreed. There was a contract between them. It was originally only to last under a year. It was to be a business transaction.

Hollywood is all smoke and mirrors. They sell you what they want you to believe. It's a production. Even "real life" stuff. It's a business.

It's a cesspool if you ask me.

Social media is important to officials in Hollywood. Social media is another business tool to them. So they got her verified and a following to help her business, as stipulated in their contract. He was obligated to do that for her. It is also why he had to keep naming her publicly. It was in one of his contracts. He had to promote her. People thought it weird he kept naming her by her full name if she was a girlfriend, and I agree. It's fucking weird to do that for a girlfriend. But she wasn't his true girlfriend. She was a business associate and in my opinion, he told us that by calling her a "Partner". That was not a lie. She was a business partner. They were linked by a business contract.

They tried improving her image. They wanted her to be taken seriously. Her image reflected on him. The entire point was so he could have an elevated image. She was given a lot of guidance on how to act and portray herself. They put in a lot of effort. It was a complete scrub down and then rejuvenation.

She was terminated from Legendary. I was told because she was caught stealing their property. I was told it was a script. Which to me makes sense, because if you take that script to a competitor it can cause lots of problems and money lost. She also had a reputation as a bully in the workplace. She caused problems and was not easy to work with. Her ex coworkers have talked about her behavior online before. I've seen allegations on Reddit and IG from former coworkers against her.

Henry and her were in contract during this time. In short, the contract said he had to help her career. Her getting herself fired became his problem. He had already been in talks with Vertigo at this point for a possible producing partnership. He had been able to get her a sham title, articles and some contracted work. So she had worked for Vertigo but not as what they say. She hasn't had a permanent job since Legendary. But he did this to try to cover what happened and to help her become desirable to hire

Natalie also made many threats against Henry. She was not happy with the result of their contract. He was fulfilling his obligations, but she was not happy with the results. She expected more. She kept saying she would not leave until she was satisfied. She threatened that she would lie and tell stories against him.

This is after the era of Johnny Depp and Amber Heard. Amber Heard managed to be successful in ruining Johnny Depps life for a number of years with some lies. Obviously the two situations are slightly different but the core factors are the same. Lies managed to really cause upheaval in a man's life.

I can only speculate how Henry felt when he realized what he had to work with. He clearly took the threats seriously.

They renewed their contract many times. So there is a paper trail.

He tried to find a middle ground. But she couldn't be controlled. She stepped on so many peoples toes. She was so rude to people around them. He tried to keep conflicts to a minimum but she became too much. Staff members had enough, and they left. He tried to keep conflict to a minimum, but he couldn't manage. That's sad because staff members had to face bullying and abuse. In trying to appease her so she wouldn't go spread lies to the press and online, he couldn't also manage to keep a safe work environment. It's very sad and unfortunate. They were just working to get further in life like everyone else and shouldn't have had to be subjected to that. That's my opinion.

There has also been much conflict in regards to his families dislike of her. They don't hide that they don't like her and they don't invite her around. They don't include her, and there is always a distinct separation between them and her. There have been quite a few fights over this. I've heard she's embarrassed about the fact they don't hide it. TW3 premiere family pictures were to passify her.

They have so many reasons to not like her.

I mean it when I say she is unable to emotionally regulate herself. Each of my sources has had something to say about her behavior. It's a common theme.

She snaps. She loses control. She's impulsive. They've said it's like she loses her reason to her rage.

She screams. She yells. She throws things.

She has got physical in these episodes.

There is one such story I was told. There was witnesses. She must not have cared or she didn't think it through.

She was making demands of Henry. He was trying to explain what she wanted wouldn't work, she got angry, slapped him clear across his face, and then shoved him. They were separated. He went to get his gym gear immediately and left for the gym. She was escorted out. I was told there was a threat of getting the authorities involved that never amounted to anything. I'll talk more on this closer to the end. It's mostly opinion.

She has thrown things at him. She has yelled at and belittled him. She's gotten physical. And not just with him. Others have been involved in these episodes of hers.

His family was appalled, and everyone knew it. They wanted her gone, but there was a contract, and he was afraid she would follow through on her threats and he would have to deal with that disaster. My opinion, is he wanted to try to make it all work and he could get to the otherside. Help her career, keep her happy and he won't have to deal with his reputation being lied on and trying to fix it. I can guess he didn't want to live what Johnny Depp did. Johnny Depp was able to get his life back but for a big chunk of years his life was ruined.

She has also been unpleasant to his family and there's been fights over it. Word gets around. People know. You also just have to look at them and know not all is well there. But I have had people ask how he could let that happen and he hasn't just allowed it. There were big fights about her behavior towards them. With others around. A common theme is she doesn't mind fighting with an audience. My opinion and speculation is that perhaps she does that as a way to embarrass and manipulate him. To possibly try to exert dominance over him. Maybe she thought she had a higher chance of getting her way if she did it with an audience. But people talk, they gossip, and you have people like me who keep their nose to the ground, sniffing out stories like this that aren't really talked about. If you search hard enough, you will find a chink in the armor.

There's also been very long stretches of time he hasn't been physically available to her. She told her friends and family it was just normal long-distance relationship stuff. She's told her friends and family that it's a real relationship. He knows that. His business associates know that. My opinion is I don't think she could live with the shame of them knowing it was just supposed to be a business transaction. My opinion is she wanted them to believe she managed to bag Henry Cavill for herself. If my source is to be believed, she told them she slipped into his DMs, he took notice and responded positively.

But I was told it was because there was nothing coming up to promote during those stretches and he was off living his life and she was home living hers. I do know she had access to his Florida house at one point. Dany helped her with that. Dany had a lot of power and access to Henrys life. He allowed it. My opinion is he was naive and put too much trust in her. I know he changed all the codes, passwords and locks to everything in that house as a result.

I've already spoke on the Fuck Off post. It was a result of Natalie running to Dany upset at the backlash she was receiving. She was upset and felt it was getting in the way of what she wanted to achieve from this business deal. I suppose Dany felt the post was needed and concocted that post. My opinion is she tried to make it sound like he was some white knight protecting his damsel in distress lady love, and it came across disingenuous. Because it was. He hadn't been made a part of that plan. He was not happy, people knew, and Dany and him had a meeting over it. I don't know what was said in that meeting. I did ask lol. But I do know he was not happy with Dany, and it did play a part in her no longer being his manager. As I said, he had too much trust in her. Social media is a business tool, and his business associates have access to it. He had it so she could do with it what she felt was needed. He had given her that authorization.

Their contract had come to an end when filming in Turkey came around. Everything was supposed to have ended by then.

She suddenly showed up in Turkey using the last of her money while bringing her sick dog. She called crying to Henry about how she had no money and still hadn't managed to find a permanent job. She could no longer stay where she was, and to top it off, Meat was very sick, and she could not afford his vet care. I was told Henry had told her she could come and stay for a short visit and he would help her with Meats vet care. At that point, he didn't say anything about helping her with a job or finding a new home. It was, for now you can stay and I'll help with your dog. She was destitute at that point. This is the point where things went completely nuclear.

She caused many problems during the filming of this movie. She caused disturbances and scenes on set. There was a huge production hold up. She came on set and caused a huge scene with Henry. She was the perpetrator, the aggressor. Henry was taken aside by Jerry Bruckheimer himself and was given heck from him. That something like that could not occur again. They had a schedule they had to keep, too. They could not afford a hold-up like that again if it could be helped. So he needed to control her. She ended up being banned from Guy Ritchies films. This is just speculation on my part, but I do believe Alan Ritchson even alludes to the production holdup that resulted from her meltdown in an interview. I also speculate Guy Ritchie went out on a limb for Henry in that interview, where he made sure people understood Henry was a gentleman. It was his films these disturbances happened. He witnessed the meltdown from Natalie aimed at Henry. He knew and heard the aggression lobbied at him. My opinion is he wanted to say his piece and defend Henry from any possible rumors that stemmed from that. I also believe Henry wasn't expecting it. You can see in the interview from his reaction. He went to bat for Henry of his on volition.

She was not even allowed anywhere near the filming sets in Tenerife. She had been served a legal notice about it.

The thing with Natalie is. Everyone knows and has talked about how fame hungry she is. She wants to be a celebrity. It is why she entered the contract to begin with and kept making threats so she could get her way and force him to help her make her way in stardom. In my opinion, she was ruthless. Scare Henry into compliance so she could ride his coat tails. But the thing is, she did succeed in a way. People did know of her association with him. She was publicly known as his girlfriend, just like she wanted. That means throughout the years of her association with Henry, she has been caught with her ass out, almost literally. There's been a few dalliances with different men. Can it be classified as cheating? Henry and her definitely had a weird thing going on. I wouldn't call it romantic. Their relationship was built on fear and was very toxic. But she has been seen out with men. Henry does know about it. He is not ignorant to it. Those around him know about it. That's how I know, but I've also seen some of the rumors through the years myself apart from my connections. Even after posting on here, I've had a few anons ask about the different stories of her out partying and being seen with men. If there's no romantic relationship between her and Henry and it's just the most toxic business relationship known to man EVER, then she can do that. She can have fun with men. But don't be mad if you get what you want, which is seen and recognized. People know who you are. And those people don't have NDAs to protect you. They can go to their friends and say, "I saw Henrys girlfriend drinking and grinding up on some guy who definitely was not Henry". You can't be mad if that gets out and paints you in a bad light. Exactly that happened, and people know about it. She's a party girl and that didn't stop during her association with him. She's been seen out.

Let's not be naive. They have slept together. Everyone is adults. Let's not be children about it. But...

What is embarrassing is what is being said about it.

He told people around him that he could not remember ever going unprotected and that it was only ever a moment of weakness. This is just what he apparently told people and what leaked out from that. I have seen it discussed very briefly in a few private chats, but it is also something my sources shared too. That is what he was saying. He couldn't remember ever going unprotected, and he is embarrassed at the mishap if that's the case.

She told him she was pregnant and he didn't believe her. I asked why he didn't believe her, and all I was told was he thought it was another manipulation story she was using to try to get more out of him. He figured he had always been careful as a rule, so he would be in the clear. She had been poised to tell the tabloids for money. She still hadn't managed to find a job in the industry, which at this point you have to ask why, she had very little money and she was pregnant. He was ignoring her. So she was going to sell the story. He got in contact with her and realized she was telling the truth. He gave her money to hush her up. They discussed the situation. They came to the decision they were going to co parent. At this point, he did believe he could have been the father. He had slept with her recently enough it was possible. I was told that meticulous planning went into this pregnancy situation. She wanted it to be used for clout. They did influence the timeline. People have caught on to that. They did want to throw people off. It was all part of the plan. They had a very tight schedule for everything. It was meticulous. And there had been a birth announcement originally planned.

He again went to help her with a career. He went back to trying to promote her. She now had a baby she had to help look after. She didn't even have to threaten his career this time lol. I was told he wanted the baby to be looked after and provided for by both. He didn't hide that from those around him. It was all very carefully put together and planned out. It was all very intentionally done. Even the things that throw people off, it was intentional.

South Korea was all about Natalie. I'm sure everyone knows what is said about them is known. They do know about the stories going around. They're not ignorant. They polished everything to help Natalie's image based on past criticism. She was pregnant then. And her weight loss? A result from wicked morning sickness. She had awful morning sickness at the beginning of her pregnancy. I remember being told she wouldn't eat because it made her sickness so much worse. I was told she was even harder to deal with then. It wasn't ozempic like people speculated. She was already pregnant then. SK was all about promoting her and a bit about their PR relationship to help bring attention. It was part of the plan.

They both got reprimanded for their performance in SK. There was some ignorance that landed them both in hot water. Her for her appearance and him for 'allowing' it and their PDA. They both were told they wouldn't be welcome anytime soon. Which is funny considering her IG post. It's like she didn't want that found out, so she told the public the opposite of what happened. That's my opinion and speculation. I was only told they both got in trouble, why, and what was said.

It is why the London premiere was very different. They both were reeling from the trouble. And she was told there would be no PDA and she got mad. She caused a scene beforehand. I also can only speculate but I do think she wanted people to begin to talk about a pregnancy then. Her choice of outfit, and the way she was posing and making sure the coat was pulled back. She knew it would emphasize the baby bump forming. That's my opinion. She wanted the rumor mill to start flowing then. Again, my opinion.

NYC. Guy Ritchie didn't want her around. She caused so many problems during MOUW and she was completely barred from the filming in Spain. I was told Jerry B also had a hand in that decision. So she would be unable to debut on the red carpet so they had to get creative. They arranged paparazzi to come. I was told they wanted it to look like they were being followed around and like they both were a big deal. It was staged. All of it. All part of the big plan.

The red carpet premiere in NYC. The choice to have no significant others for the actors was deliberate. To be fair and look uniform. Even the interview was pre-planned. He used it as an opportunity to promote her. That was the plan.

The Father's Day post was also part of the plan. It was all promotion. It was the plan. He would make the post, and then she would piggyback off it.

When I say it was meticulous, it was very meticulous. They also had to do things when he was around and had the time. Even if he wasn't filming, he had films he knew that were upcoming that would need work. He had meetings and trainings. He would still have to travel. So things had to be done when he could do it, such as pictures. Such as public sightings. All of their public sightings were part of it. The dinners. Everything. It was like they were trying to run a tight ship and work around a schedule, in my opinion. So keep that in mind when you wonder about timelines.

Everything went to shit when the baby was born. And there is a baby. Regardless of what some may try to push lol.

She would show up when he was at work and bring her baby. She was never invited. I was told in true Natalie fashion, it was disruptive. But people took notice of the baby. Rumors started. That they both heard. Rumors that the baby didn't really resemble him. She stopped showing up. But the damage had been done. His family had also been urging him to be smart and not just take her on her word, especially based on past occurrences with her. There had been quite a few discussions about that from the beginning.

This is where my information gets spotty, and you have to puzzle it together.

He did contest paternity, and I do know that the judge had to get involved. She was told that if she refused, the judge would then rule it was because she would know the answer to the paternity test and that would be the end of it. She was caught between a rock and a hard place.

Now this is where things get quiet.

But this is the reason why nothing further has been mentioned on the pregnancy or baby, regardless of him saying in that interview more would be coming. In that point of time a lot more had been planned to come.

They have been fighting it out in court.

He has since given her a legal correspondence that she had to leave his house and be gone by the time he returned home from work out of the country. She had also been told to leave him alone while he is at work.

She had been living at his residence but I was told seperate from him. They didn't get along, and I was told that was done so there would be minimum conflict and fighting between the two. He allowed her to stay since she had been pregnant and then had the baby there with no steady income of her own. I was told he felt it was his responsibility to help her get back on her feet.

He didn't buy that house for Natalie or because they were together. I asked lol. There was no commitment between them. My opinion is they only occasionally rolled in the hay together, and she ended up getting pregnant around one of the times. I was told he told people he bought the house for his family. He meant his parents, siblings and nephews and nieces to congregate. As well as preparing for the next stage of his life. He did tell people he wanted to settle down within the next few years, and have a family home in place for when he met someone and began that stage, it had nothing to do with Natalie. I double checked.

Natalie is gone. He sent that correspondence and I was told he wouldn't help her with paperwork anymore that would allow her to stay in the UK. She had to leave.

I was told he has no plans right now to ever talk about the baby.

I don't know the results of that paternity case. I asked lol. I was told gag order and I've seen speculation of the case being sealed.

In my opinion, no one will know the paternity for a long time. But based on puzzle pieces, of people that worked with him saying it didn't look like him and her subsequent disappearance whereas before she had no problem being around. The silence when they told the public more was coming. The fact he asked her to leave and she was told to leave him alone. I feel one can read between the lines. The way they act is apparent there are secrets.

My opinion is that the baby should be left alone. It did nothing to anyone. It's here because Natalie wanted it here. I also can't say gender. I know people think it's a female. But the baby was always referred to as her baby or the baby when spoken of in my conversations. Natalie is a single mother. Let her deal with that. It can't be easy.

So while everything in regards to the baby has suddenly quieted down. I personally would hedge my bets on him not being the father based on other factors surrounding.

My opinion is we will never see that baby. She suddenly disappeared after those rumors around his work environment made their rounds. She hasn't proudly shown off her baby online even with the face hidden. She has completely retreated, which is not her usual way of doing things.

This wasn't because of privacy. Their plan feel apart and they didn't complete it.

That is the main course. The rest is just opinions and what I consider minor factors.

She has not had a steady job since her termination from Legendary. I mentioned earlier she got paid for her appearances with Henry and yall went weird with that one. I was not implying she was an escort or he was paying her for sex. Fucking hell everyone lol.

She was being compensated for her time. It was part of the job. There is nothing wrong with that. Plus, she needed the money. It was considered work for her, and so she should get paid.

I can't sit here and tell you she beat Henry. I only know of the one occurrence where she slapped him. If it's happened more times, it was behind closed doors with no witnesses. But she has tried to shove him and has thrown things at him on multiple occasions.

I've asked and never received a clear answer. But why no consequences for her acting violently. I don't know. I can only speculate. Maybe they felt it wouldn't go anywhere. Henry isn't exactly a small man. He's tall and broad. Maybe he felt he wouldn't be believed. Or because of his stature, he felt he could handle it. Again, I dont know. This is just speculation I've made about it.

My opinion is that it is so incredibly sad. No one should have to sit through that. I don't care if you're six foot whatever and 220 LBS of muscle. If someone is acting violently against you, you should be able to to say something. We have a long way to go in order for men being able and comfortable to speak up.

It's very easy to ask why you didn't just leave. You have to live through something similar yourself to understand. Abuse and toxic situations like this do something very weird to our brains. You can look it up. If it's happened long enough, the structure of our brains change. Different areas go in over drive and areas fire off that normally wouldn't. It changes our behavior. We go into some sort of survival mode.

People have noticed, myself included, that he has changed over the recent years. He looked like shit for one, and like he's been drained of life and left a husk. You can tell just by looking at him something is not right. His attitude also changed. He seemed more irritable. He didn't seem like himself any longer. Something was changing in him.

Maybe this was why.

I can't say for certain. Just based off some gossip I was told and piecing other parts together that would possibly explain things. I also had to do some amateur research on brains, abuse and the effects. I went in lol. When I say I wanted to understand, I really meant it. That means taking the time to research and try to put it together.

Again, I can't say for sure this is true. Only they can officially clarify and verify. These conclusions are my own based off my own snooping, digging, analyzing and researching. Take that in how you want.

I believe these two were a business transaction gone horribly wrong. I believe they had a very toxic situation. I believe it was very stupid. I also believe she was the main problem. She threatened him to make him help her climb the stardom ladder. She used and abused him.

He tried much too hard to appease her because he had feared her. In doing that, he allowed an unsafe work environment to crop up. He also did a huge disservice towards himself. In showing her that he would bend to her, taught her it would work. It created a vicious cycle. Of course, she is going to continue to use a weapon she knows works.

He was stomped all over.

They're both not innocent or saints. He allowed a lot of things to occur that never should have.

But I also think it's possible he was subject to things no one ever should be as well.

She must have put too much faith in the NDAs. If you treat people badly enough. And inspire enough dislike, I think you'll be hardpressed to stop their betrayal. Fear does not inspire loyalty.

These are my opinions and conclusions I have drawn. You're free to make your own. I just want to share what I have learned, which this is still a condensed summary but this is the main bulk of it.

I wanted a clearer picture of what was happening. It took time and effort, but I believe I succeeded. But you're free to disagree with me. I won't convince you otherwise if you do. I've already shared what I think and believe. That's enough for me.

Now, let's brace ourselves. We got a taste already of what to expect.

[thesafecafe]

BBHMM

Summary: Yuta hasn't been answering your calls. It seems like he's completely ignoring you, so you decide to pay him a little visit.

CW: 18+, MDNI, violence (a slap or 2), mentions of substances, (weed, alcohol, cocaine, etc), cussing, slight angst, illegal activity, strip club owner Yuta x black fem reader, serious conversation between parents, tension, (Yuta isn't exactly over the reader and is whipped), suggestive, smut, dom reader, switch/sub leaning Yuta, he cums quick, reader is called mistress, finger sucking, handjob, thigh riding, hair pulling, making out, slight degradation (giving), ass slapping, I think that just about covers it! enjoy! Feedback is appreciated! (apologies to any Prius drivers in the audience 💀✋🏾)

Disclaimer: I do not believe that the members of NCT would act in this way , nor is it a representation of their real life actions or personalities. This is a fictional depiction for entertainment purposes.

Words: 3,582

Yuta was ignoring you. You didn't think much of it at first. You knew he was busy with work most of the time, usually making a point to tell you he'd be busy or getting back to you later. But for the past few weeks, every time you would call, there was no answer. At first, you were concerned, since it wasn't like him to not answer. But it got to the point where instead of letting it ring, he'd send you straight to voicemail. That was what pissed you off. You couldn't stand not having good communication, especially since you had children together.

Your twin girls, only two years old, were always asking about their father. Constantly asking when they would talk to him, or see him again, it broke your heart when you saw their disappointment flickering across their faces when you would tell them he was busy at work.

And speaking of your children, you were also concerned for their needs. While you did work to support the three of you, your job only paid you enough to cover basic bills, clothes for the twins, and your groceries. Yuta usually covered everything else, from the rent and insurance to the twins daycare fees; he usually left a stack of bills on your bedroom dresser when he came to visit.

He insisted you didn't need to work, but you were stubborn. You felt you needed your job in case of emergencies. In case of times like these. While you hated to admit it, your babies depended on that money. Being an inconsistent parent was not going to cut it; you couldn't afford that. You didn't know what his problem was, but you were sure as hell going to find out.

You called your mother to watch the twins, leaving them in her care for the night. You waved one final goodbye to them before going back home to change. Your baby daddy had clearly forgotten who he was dealing with. If he thought for one second you were going to let him abandon his daughters, and only be a "sometimes dad," then he was sorely mistaken.

—

Club Highway to Heaven was packed. It was usually brimming with customers; slow days were rare. Due to its location, it was a popular nightlife spot, with minimal competition. Spotting that the line was wrapped around the corner as usual, you immediately pulled around to the back parking lot reserved for the staff.

No one would bother you about parking in the back, and there was a parking space Yuta had reserved for you. But as you pulled forward, you saw a car in the space next to Yuta's. A gaudy pink Prius with cat ears on top sat there, in your way. In your space. "Ohhh, I see what this is about." You laughed softly, shaking your head.

You chose a random space to park in, not far from the back entrance. You got out, quickly making your way to the door, and putting in the code. You knew Yuta never changed the codes to this place, in spite of your many warnings about safety. Swinging the door open, you step carefully into the club. Immediately, you are transported to a different atmosphere.

The purple lights of the club caress your skin, enveloping you into the overall ambience. As you walk to the main floor of the club, the strong smelling mixture of alcohol, sweat, and weed make you choke out a cough.

Passing through the main floor, you see many half naked women, some walking the floor while others slide down poles. A familiar Rihanna song blares through the club speakers. Bottle girls in outfits nearly as skimpy as the dancers run around with drinks, trying to service their sections as quickly as possible. Men and women alike were cheering and throwing money like there was no tomorrow.

'Business is definitely booming.' You thought as you crossed the floor, and walked towards Yuta's office. You stopped when you reached the door, guarded by a massive, familiar bouncer. "Andre, long time no see. How's it going?" Your tone was sweet, calm. It would put anyone who didn't know you at ease. But the giant man at the door knew the look in your eye. It meant business. "Not too bad miz' Y/N. Here for the boss?”

"You know it." Andre gave you a knowing smile and stepped aside, letting you pass into the office. You walked slowly inside, not wanting your heels to give you away. Inside the office, Yuta sat behind his desk. A woman, presumably a dancer, sat in his lap. Her hand was on his chest, as she laughed at something he said before you came in.

"Well what the fuck do we have here?" Your casual words startled the pair. Yuta jumped, knocking the girl onto the floor. You'd probably laugh if you weren't pissed off. "Oh shit, Y/N! What the hell are you doing here?" Yuta asked, quickly adjusting his coat over his chest, as if he hadn't just been being felt up by one of his dancers.

"What the hell am I doing here? Oh I don't fucking know Yuta, maybe checking in on my children's dumbass father, who apparently forgot how to answer a got damn phone call! You've seriously been ghosting me to try and get your dick wet?!"

You were yelling now, and you hadn't meant to explode like that, but it was the last straw. Seeing him sit there, seemingly enjoying himself, while you had been worrying yourself at home had pushed you to the edge.

You took a deep breath, trying to compose yourself. Yuta looked at the dancer, catching her eye. "Candy, can we get some privacy please?" The woman, who'd been sitting on the floor the whole time, quickly got up, fixing her outfit before trotting out of the room. When you hear the door close, you release the breath you were holding.

"Y/N, I'm sorry. Can you please let me explain?" Sighing, you nod, earning a gentle smile from him. He grabbed your hand, guiding you to sit down in one of the mismatched chairs he liked to keep around. "Don't think you're off the hook though Nakamoto. I'm mad as fuck, and I don't want excuses, I want answers."

"Okay Y/N, calm down, you know I'll give it to you straight. I wouldn't lie to you." You raised an eyebrow. "Okay maybe not all the time but- you know what, nevermind. I apologize for not returning your calls. Work has been busy." He gave a noncommittal shrug, but he wouldn't look you in the eyes. He was hiding something.

"So busy that you can't make time for your daughters? They ask for you every day. They haven't seen or heard from you in weeks Yuta! They ask for you all the time, and I have to be the bearer of bad news and hold them when they cry because their daddy is busy with 'work.' I've been calling, and you wouldn't know if they were sick or in need of something because you haven't bothered to pick up your damn phone.”

Yuta hung his head low, fiddling with the rings on his fingers. "You're right. I'm sorry. I was wrong for going off the grid like that, and you and my babies didn't deserve it. It's just been way harder lately to manage things.”

Yuta rubbed his face, and for the first time, you took in his full appearance. His coat hung off of his arms, exposing his tense shoulders. He looked paler than usual, and there were bags under his eyes, barely concealed by make-up. He looked tired. "Talk to me. What's been going on?"

"I... had to fire my head manager. He was sneaking in coke bricks for some of the dancers. And I've been trying to find the source, since every other day, a dancer is showing up high off their ass. I've got to hire new security, since some people like to sneak in." He gave you a pointed look. "And I'm not trying to 'get my dick wet' as you so nicely put it. I was trying to investigate."

You regarded him skeptically. "Getting felt up by your employees is what you call investigating? Okay Mr. Officer." Yuta rolled his eyes at you.

"Getting that close to any of the dancers is hard enough, but you just happened to ruin my meeting with one of the biggest suspects in here. Candy is a ringleader of sorts. She was fucking that manager, and I'm pretty sure he's still got her running coke in here out of spite. But I don't have enough proof, since the other dancers are scared of her. I needed to get the information somehow, but alas, here we are."

You thought back to the woman who'd been there just a few minutes ago. She didn't seem very imposing from the floor, (and clad in a skimpy pink two piece set with cat ears), but you knew you shouldn't judge a book by its cover. Your eyes widened as you realized something. "So that's the tramp who was in my parking spot! With cat ears!"

Yuta's ears turned red. "You uh, you saw that?" He stuttered, embarrassed. "Hell yeah I saw it! It would be a bitch who drives a Prius. That ugly ass car." Yuta couldn't help the snort that passed his lips at that.

"In spite of all that though, I understand why you've been busier. But you still could've sent me a text back, an email, hell, a regular letter in the mail! Anything to tell me you were alright. You made me worried, Yuta. We promised to communicate, for the sake of our girls and to maintain a good emotionally safe environment for them. They need us both, and this inconsistent parenting can't go on. I'm willing to help you with whatever it is you need for this place but don't shut me out. That only hurts us all. Okay?”

"Okay. Again, I'm sorry. I'll do better Y/N, for you and my girls. You have my word." Yuta leaned across his desk, offering you his hand. Resting your hand on his, you held back a shiver as he kissed the back of your hand. His lips were warm and soft against your skin. The tension in your shoulders slowly melted away as he kept your hand in between his, rubbing it softly. It was a habit he'd learned, back when you were together, to help calm you down.

He committed all small habits of yours to memory, easily able to perceive your mood. Now, as he sat playing with your hand, his thoughts were whirling. He still felt guilty for the way he'd left you in the dark, and he felt extra guilty that you saw him with another woman on his lap.

Even though the two of you weren't together, he couldn't help feeling like he'd betrayed you. He suppressed the feelings that the ache of not being with you brought to the surface, opting to press on for the sake of his business. But the truth was that he wasn't over you. He hadn't been on the dating scene since the end of your relationship.

His dates with Candy were never anything physical. Tonight was as far as it had gotten. Internally, he felt repulsed at her constant advances; he was only trying to get information. But you weren't anymore aware of his lingering feelings than you were of his whereabouts the past few weeks. He wanted to make it up to you, and being the man he was, Yuta had an idea.

Bringing your hand up to his lips, he pressed another kiss against your skin, and another. "Boy, what are you doing?" You pulled back, but he gripped your hand. "I'm apologizing. Won't you let me show you how sorry I am, mistress?" A sudden, strong pulse thrummed between your legs. Your eyes widened, and so did Yuta's grin. Your cheeks warmed.

"Don't- Yuta, don't play with me like that-" You are cut off when he takes one of your fingers into his mouth, closing his eyes as swirled his tongue around it. He moaned, before sucking it deeper into his mouth. Your mouth hung open at his audacity. You'd forgotten how bold he could be; but your body remembered.

Your legs shifted on impulse, muscle memory betraying you. Yuta released your finger slowly, his tongue trailing the underside of it before letting it go. "Who said I was playing?" His voice was low, dripping in lust and desire. You felt another pulse, stronger this time, and the familiar, slick feeling of your arousal gliding down your thighs.

"Yuta..." You say his name in warning, but truly as an anchor for yourself. "Please? I promise I'll be good. I'll do anything you like. Whatever you want, I'll do it." You felt the temptation of his offer course through your veins for a moment or two, before you caved. "You'll do anything, hm?”

Standing from your chair, you walked around his desk. You straddled his lap, and cupped his face in your hands. "Yes. Anything." The words are barely out before your lips are on his. His lips were fervent against yours, and his arms slid up, trapping your waist against his.

You took control, pushing his head up for a better angle. Yuta let you use his mouth, letting you do as you pleased; sucking and licking your tongue against his, biting his lips, anything you wanted. Just like he'd said.

Breaking away from his lips, you pushed his jacket down, off of his shoulders. Taking the hint, he sheds the coat completely, and you run your hands along his skin. Your nails graze his stomach, earning a low groan from the man beneath you.

Grinning, you slide off his lap, shimmying out of your underwear. Sliding carefully back into his lap, you gripped onto his shoulders. Understanding your intentions, Yuta tensed his thigh, watching as you pushed yourself back and forth. His eyes glazed over. He loved watching you use him to get off. “I see you still haven't changed; begging me to use you like a whore.”

Yuta swallowed thickly, holding back a moan. He felt himself twitch in his pants. “What's the matter baby? You like being reminded how easy you are?” You looked down at him, but his eyes were locked onto your pussy, grinding into the leather material of his pants. You move your hand from his shoulder, up to his hair. You gently pull his head up until his eyes are on yours. “Eyes up here pretty boy. I asked you a question.”

It took a minute before he remembered your question, his eyes darting in confusion. “Yes mistress, I like it.” You chuckled, tightening your hand around his hair. He moaned, leaning into your touch. “Pussy makes you go all dumb, huh?” Yuta nodded, and you released him, letting his eyes fall back to you on his thigh. Eventually, you felt that familiar heat in your clit. Your eyes roll back as your orgasm pulses through you, and Yuta holds you tighter as you rock your hips through it.

When you stop, taking a few moments to catch your breath, you find Yuta staring at you. His gaze is heavy, intense in a way that has your breath catching. It was a familiar look. Your heart squeezed in your chest, but you ignored it, opting to distract yourself. “Your turn, pretty boy. Take those pants off.”

Yuta blinked, breaking his focus on you for a second, before his features shifted into a lazy grin. He picks you up, setting you carefully on his desk, before obeying your words. He unbuckles his belt with one hand, winking at you as he does, before sliding his pants off. “Show off,” You mutter as he picks you up again, placing you over the bulge in his lap.

You scoot back, giving yourself enough room to palm him through his boxers. “Aw, what's the matter, too scared to ride me?” Yuta bats his eyelashes at you, fake concern dripping from his words. You pull his dick out, not taking the bait. “The last time I rode your dick, you got me pregnant, and we don't need anymore surprises.”

Before he can come up with some snarky comment, you start stroking him, your hand squeezing up and down his length with just enough pressure to shut him up. Yuta threw his head back, moaning loud and unashamed. “Please, fuck, just like that.” He panted, feeling himself embarrassingly close to his high. He tried to hold back, wanting to savor the feeling of your hands on him.

But between the pent up frustration of the past few weeks, and his ever present desire for you, the sight of you focusing on his pleasure is too much; before he can warn you, his orgasm slams into him, crashing like waves. Your eyes widen a bit, but your hand doesn't stop, until you see his hips twitch, legs shaking from the intensity of his release. You move your hands, rummaging through his desk drawer for a towel.

His cum covers his legs, stomach, and your hands. You're sure some got on your dress as well, but it doesn't bother you as much as it probably should. You wipe your hands off before starting to clean him. “Easy there, pretty boy. Breathe.” You coach him gently, running a hand through his hair as his heavy panting slows to quiet, even breaths. When you're sure he's calm, you kiss his forehead, then his lips.

“I mean what I said Yuta. You'd better keep your promise or else I'll burn this bitch to the ground.” You poke his chest, and lean into his face. Yuta smiles at you, and for a moment, you're distracted by his beauty. “Okay, I'll be there tomorrow. I promise. I won't let you down, not again.” He slides his hand into yours, lacing your fingers together. He brings your hand up to his mouth, kissing the back of it.

Your heart flutters at the gesture. Your moment is interrupted however, by your phone’s notifications going off. “I should get out of here, I need to go to work in the morning.” You slide off of his lap, standing to adjust your clothes. You see your underwear on the floor, and you bend to pick them up. Before you can reach them, you are startled by a stinging slap to your ass.

You jump up, turning to glare at Yuta, laughing his ass off. “Sorry, I couldn't resist; it was in my face!” Your eye twitches, and the laughter in his throat dies. You decide to let him get away with it for now, opting to walk out of his office. “Wait! Let me walk you out at least!” You raise your hand to acknowledge his request, before stepping into the hallway to let him get dressed.

You are expecting to find Andre still outside, but instead of the massive guard, you come face to face with two dancers. One of them was the girl from earlier, Candy. “So this is the bitch Candy? He threw you out for her?” The other one’s nasally voice immediately makes you annoyed. “Yeah that's her.” Candy steps forward, getting in your face. “Look here, bitch, I don't-”

She is cut off when your hand collides with her face, knocking her backwards in her heels. She falls to the floor in a pathetic heap, before gathering her bearings. Shock paints her face. “Did you just slap me?” You tilt your head, looking down at her. “Nooo, I gave you a hug. What do you think?”

The other dancer stomps over to you, but before she can swing, you land another slap, knocking her to the ground with her friend. Just then, Yuta emerged from the office. “Y/N what's- going on…” His words die as he sees two of his dancers on the floor. From the expression on your face, he already knew what happened. “Yuta! She slapped us and we weren't-” He holds up his hand, silencing the lie about to spill from his dancer's mouth.

“Candy, Cherry, this is my children's mother. You will treat her with respect, and if I catch you doing otherwise, we will have problems. Is that understood?” Both dancers looked down at the floor, mumbling a weak “Yes Mr. Nakamoto.”

Yuta jerked his head, signaling for them to get lost. When they were gone, you turned to him, one eyebrow raised. “Sorry about them, like I said, it's been getting out of hand. Here,” Yuta took your hand, placing a large stack of bills in it, “let's get you home, so I can shut this place down.” He walks you down the steps, before a few members of his security team follow you through the club to your car.

Making sure you get in your car safely, Yuta shuts your door. You roll your window down to speak. Yuta beats you to the punch though. “Do I ever tell you how hot you are when you're mad?” You roll your eyes at him, and he laughs, taking your hand. “Tomorrow Yuta, remember.” You look at him expectantly. “Tomorrow. I promise.” He squeezes your hand, and all you can do is hope that he keeps it.

------------

Tagging: @ddeonghwassimp, @nirvanawrites111

[botanyshitposts]

Opinion on the US's Cogs damn obsession with corn?

don't know what you're talking about specifically but my understanding of US agricultural policy in general is that being a farmer in capitalism sucks and has since colonization and for a long time the US government tried to make it suck less with subsidies which sometimes work (because people get paid predictably regardless of demand and its less like gambling with crops) but sometimes go over really badly (because then too many people grow it and the price per bushel goes down and then government has too much corn) and then a couple times they got rid of all the subsides and related regulations and that REALLY didnt work (because then the price just crashed hard and with nothing to compensate them a bunch of farmers, many of whom were in debt for other farming-related reasons, couldnt get paid and actually had to foreclose their farms, which accelerated the long-standing trend of farms getting foreclosed on and then being bought out by bigger farms that then ended up running INSANE multi million dollar operations, sometimes even on farms in other states where the owners do not live, in communities they do not contribute to) and they had to backpedal on it and then eventually they just started on the current system where you simply pass a farm bill every 10-12 years instead of yearly or biyearly and that way you simply dont have to think about it, and then when it is election time you go stand by a cornfield for a while for tv. it does not fix the huge enormous farms buying out smaller farms problem or any of the complicated related problems but it DOES put it off for longer which is more important.

sometimes also you (USAID for instance) can give the too-much-corn you have from farm subsidies to a foreign country as a 'gift' and say youre just being a helpful little guy, but in the process of doing so undercut the local farmers in that country because they cant compete with free stuff but that's cool because then the foreign country can't really survive as well without US agricultural aid and you can manipulate them to do imperialism better AND you have more demand for the corn which might raise the price per bushel in the US. also sometimes the corn is fed to livestock en masse because the meat is worth more and sometimes its made into gas or high fructose corn syrup, and sometimes the price is so low per bushel that the insurance on the field is worth more than the actual corn.

but. i CANNOT stress enough that the most important thing about corn is that you can stand next to it on tv and if you cant do that, maybe you can stand next to a guy who is around it a lot and say you are helping him.

in my relatively uneducated opinion the most epic way to solve this complex multi-century interdisciplinary push and pull of supply and demand would be to just pay farmers a salary through the state since youre already paying out massive state subsidies for crops you dont need anyway and the farmers are performing a vital service and that way you can guarantee people a consistent salary AND control how much of each thing gets planted so you dont have a massive stockpile at all times AND you reward individual people instead of paying out large amounts of money to whatever massive operation sells the most corn by virtue of being big, but if you dont want to do that then the second best thing is to just pass another mediocre farm bill whos inflexible 10-ish year lifespan makes it impossible for it to respond well to changes in market demand and that way you can just put off making tough decisions and instead stand next to a guy and a cornfield on tv again. which as we have covered is the most important part of american agriculture

[beauvandalen]

An open letter on the rising pirating situation happening to indie authors and their books.

I am a self-published author and some of my books have now been pirated more than they have been read on their official sources—I am not talking hundreds but thousands and thousands of reads that I will never get a dime from because they were read on illegal websites who I am not affiliated with—some of these illegal pirate websites are even asking readers for donations on the page where my book is being pirated, I have also found a site paywalling a pirated copy of my book and again, this money will never go to me because this was all done without my consent or knowledge. If this pirating problem continues I will not be able to publish books anymore.

My books being illegally reuploaded is disheartening enough, but knowing that thousands of readers are fine with stealing my book is heartbreaking, and it is affecting my livelihood.

The other day I was sitting alone in my living room, thinking about my next release in regards to this situation—it is a horrible feeling to realize that I will work for months on my next book, invest money, time, late nights and weekends simply to get my work out there, knowing now that once I publish my book someone will be waiting to illegally reupload it without my consent on a website where my book will likely be stolen thousands of times again, and it’s only getting worse with each new release.

Sometimes I am able to get these pirated copies taken down, but in most cases when thousands of people have already stolen and illegally read my book before it’s taken down, the damage is already done.

Please, if you are one of the thousands who read pirated books, please... stop pirating my books if you want them to continue to exist, please read my books on their official sources, the careers of so many creators have ended before because of pirating, this is not a hypothetical scenario, this is a very real and scary possibility that I am facing as an author because thousands of readers have chosen to pirate my books.

The books we publish as authors are our livelihood, especially indie authors who are completely dependent on royalties and do not receive advances—if our books are not read on their official sources we do not get paid. Please understand what you are doing by supporting these eBook pirating sites instead of the actual authors and creators.

Pirate websites are responsible, but readers also have a responsibility to read the book on its official sources—when you illegally read a pirated copy of a book, you are stealing the book not ‘reading it for free’, and by doing so you also show these pirate websites that there is a demand for pirated books, which further worsens the problem.

Your actions as a reader and where you choose to read my books directly effect whether I will be able to publish my next book, whether I can pay my bills or not, and it is the same for many other indie authors. If you care about marginalized creators, authors writing ownvoices books who are so often the people who self-publish, please read their books on their official sources.

Please think twice before pirating.

If you want a direct example of how much these losses in royalties can affect an author, here are some average numbers: a self-published book can cost between S1500-S4000 to publish, sometimes even more. An author would need to sell approx. 500-1500 copies (depending on their royalty rate) just to make back the costs they put into publishing their book, but if the majority of readers choose to pirate that book, then the author will not make those costs back and will constantly operate at a loss, especially if readers continue to pirate each new book.

To use a more personal example with real numbers, my most recent book that was pirated on its release day had approx. 500 readers read the book on its official sources, and was pirated approx. 2000 times in just 20 days... I don’t think I need to explain why this is bad and how it has affected my livelihood, the numbers speak for themselves.

If you are not sure whether a book is from an official source or not: if you find a book that is normally not free for ‘free’ on a website the author isn’t affiliated with, you can assume it is most likely a pirated copy.

If you have doubts on whether a source is official, please feel free to message me, I am always happy to clarify: some pirate websites have been claiming to be ‘publishers/distributors’ or pretend to ‘offer the same service as a library’ recently to cover up the fact that they are actively stealing and running websites which actively ruin the livelihoods of authors through illegal means, so please be wary.

If you have read an author’s stolen book from an unofficial source, it is not too late to get yourself an official copy to support the book.

*This open letter mainly addresses the ways in which pirating hurts indie authors’ careers as it is what I am most familiar with, but it goes without saying that pirating a traditionally published author’s book can also prevent their career from flourishing: this is especially true for debut, marginalized or ownvoices authors, for whom it is already difficult to break into the industry, if their first book does not sell enough copies then they may not be signed on for a second book, pirating hurts us all. My thoughts go out to the authors who are currently facing the same problem, I hope we can get through this.

Finally, thank you sincerely to every reader who reads my books legally, it is thanks to you that I have been able to continue publishing them, your support means the world and I promise I will try my best to continue publishing these books for as long as I feasibly can. I appreciate you all.

[panlight]

What is something that you thought when you first read the books and how did that develop over time?

My opinion of Renee was initially a lot more positive when I first read the books. She reminded me of my mom, and my mom isn't by any stretch of the imagination a bad or neglectful mom. She was just the kind of carefree extrovert who liked to try on new hobbies that Renee initially seemed to be. I also didn't read Bella's "I've been running the house since I was six" as literal, I read it as hyperbole. I read the "at least Phil will make sure the bills will get paid" as a joke, since my dad has always been forgetful (but again! in no way bad or neglectful!) and we make similar jokes. I still maintain that Renee wasn't initially meant to be terrible and as SM kept writing books she wrote her worse and worse. Again, I don't think SM would have named the miracle baby "RENEsmee" if she had a poor opinion of Renee. Remember, she wrote Forever Dawn right after Twilight; all the other books, including New Moon and Eclipse, came later. I've since accepted a more negative view of her based on how she has been written in Life & Death and Midnight Sun, and come to realize that maybe SM/Bella DID mean it literally when Bella was doing the taxes as a child.

I thought the James bite was going to be a Big Deal. Bella was, as far as we know, the first person to be bitten by a vampire and NOT die or turn, and that, to me, should have been a big thing?? But it's not? It never went anywhere? Other than to occasionally look at her silvery scar. I had initially thought it could have gone in so many interesting directions (did the experience work like an inoculation and now she's immune to venom? could they use her blood to great a cure? conversely would it slowly be turning her into a vampire? or give her some kind of powers?). I still feel like this was a HUGE missed opportunity, and while i still wouldn't have loved the halfpire baby and 'Bella's the best newborn ever' plot points, using this one-of-a-kind situation with James' bite could have at least been a way to explain them better. Maybe she was able to conceive BECAUSE she had that exposure to venom; or maybe that exposure was what made her able to skip all the newborn stuff. Like this one was thing where Bella WAS legitimately special and unique and SM didn't really do anything with it.

A minor one, but when I first read Eclipse and it talked about how Bree surrendered and "only Carlisle would think of offering" and I originally read that as Carlisle offered surrender to all the newborns and Bree was just the only one who accepted. I had this image of him standing on a rock in the clearing being like, "We don't want to fight! This isn't your battle! If you surrender we will spare you! We are merely defending ourselves and the town!" as the raging newborn horde is running toward him until Jasper and Emmett have to drag off the rock before the newborns overrun him. The Eclipse movie and Bree Tanner book ruined that interpretation, haha.

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Myrna Loy (The Thin Man, Manhattan Melodrama, Mr Blandings Builds his Dream House)—Started out a slinky silent screen vamp. Became a screwball lead who had a blast drinking, being married to William Powell, solving mysteries, and taking her dog everywhere in the Thin Man Movies. Broke our hearts in The Best Years of Our Lives and played a string of dream wives. Remained hot the entire time. Decades of hotness.

Gracie Allen (A Damsel in Distress, Honolulu)— The funniest woman who ever lived, she was the brains behind an absolutely brilliant radio show that she did with her husband George Burns. The radio show was later turned into a television show (which you can find on Youtube) but during the radio days, it was announced that Gracie would be running for President of the United States for the year of 1940. She was running for the Surprise Party, and refused a Vice President as, according to her, there would be no room for vice in her white house. Her slogan was "Down with common sense -Vote for Gracie Allen." [more about this beneath the cut]

This is round 1 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Myrna Loy:

Myrna Loy excelled at playing coy women, so common in screwball comedies in the 40s. She batted her lashes, and shrugged with grace, and made her costars look like foolish heels next to her. She charmed with sneaky elegance, well-placed pouting, and repartee. Besides, she was sultry AF.

While Myrna certainly looked hot in some her earlier vampy exotic bad girl roles, I think shes hottest when her comedic chops got to be displayed. Her dry wit, comedic timing, and subtle facial expressions make her the queen of deadpan snark.

She's just very Mother

So beautiful and popular she was crowned Queen of the Movies in 1936, Myrna Loy was also an amazing actress. She's best remembered for The Thin Man and sequels, where she gets to show off her comedy skills, adding irresistible impish charm to her classic beauty and dancer's figure.

THE SASS

One of the few actresses who managed to successfully transition from silent to talkies, never won an Oscar but was at one time the highest paid woman in Hollywood. Advocated for better roles and pay for Black actors in the 1930s, so passionately anti-Nazi in the 40s she made Hitler's blacklist, spoke out against Joseph McCarthy during the Red Scare, and advocated for fair housing in the 1950s and 1960s, all while being hot as fuck opposite William Powell, Clark Gable, Cary Grant, Spencer Tracy and a whole galaxy of the Hot Vintage Men Poll all-stars.

Cute as a button with so much RIZZ! She and whatsisname in The Thin Man are relationship goals.

She was literally called the Queen of Hollywood! She is so sassy and funny in the whole Thin Man series. Absolutely hot in those, and who doesn’t love a woman who can laugh? She had the sultriest gaze and that style! Also before she was a star she sat as the model for an iconic statue for a school (representing “Fountain of Education”).

the glamour!! the banter!! the comedy!!

She's got this cute kinda scrunched up face AND shes funny AND shes got a bangin body.

Gracie Allen:

Continued from previous propaganda: "We don't want to get rid of men entirely," Allen said, according to a story in the April 22, 1940, Indianapolis Star. "All we want to do is make them unconstitutional and keep them out of circulation, but have them handy when there's no place else to go."

On the Neutrality Bill pending in Congress: "If we owe it, let's pay it." On recognizing Russia: "I don't know. I meet so many people." On which political party she was affiliated with: "I may take a drink now and then, but I never get affiliated.""

She did have to drop out eventually, with World War 2 being on and all, but thousands of people still wrote her in anyway, even if the FDR won the popular vote in the end.  (https://www.jsonline.com/story/life/green-sheet/2016/03/31/that-time-a-comedian-won-the-wisconsin-presidential-primary/84944806/)