#also i haven't used this blog for six weeks how's everyone doing

[keepyourpantsongohan]

While we're talking about Naruto and JJK parallels, I think in the Stupid Alignment Chart format, Kakashi and Nobara hold the exact same type of stupid, which is neither lawful stupid, neutral stupid nor chaotic stupid. I like to call it Stupid Soluble. It's that they will asborb the stupidity genre of whoever they're nearest to at the time

[whoishotteranimepolls]

Updates and Announcements please read carefully

There haven't been as many polls as normal because I basically have started uni this week was orientation. I officially start classes next week so I'm not going to have as much time to make polls.

When it comes to me making a new series where I post any future stupid essays I get asking me to ban characters. I will be doing that but there will be some rules when it comes to what I actually share publicly. It will only be an anonymous ask because I don't want people to actually bully them on their blog. I'm not going to share anything that's actually harassing because people were concerned about spreading their hateful message, I know the difference between malice and stupidity. I mainly want to focus on and share the essays that I can tell were written by someone with zero media literacy an over inflated ego and some sort of savior complex or sense of moral superiority those are the people that need those flimsy arguments to face scrutiny of Tumblr. And trust me the anonymous ask may be turned off right now So I can have a little bit of peace because I was dealing with getting ready for uni but since we all made fun of them they're waiting for the second. They turn back on to defend themselves. So I know I will receive some more stupid essays very soon. Stay tuned because I've had a couple of suggestions for a title for this series so I'm going to let everyone vote on it so keep an eye out for that poll.

The Pride Month Event. I will be opening up the request box only for The pride month 6-way poll characters probably the last week in May maybe sooner. This is where you can actually suggest full rosters of six-way polls, but they need to have the theme of lgbtq+ characters. This is because I am not familiar with enough anime to know of enough Canon lgbtq+ characters to fill out the entire month. This is a special event. Don't get used to being able to do this. The only special request would be. Please tell me what part of the lgbtq+ community they are a part of so I know what poll to put them in so I can't accidentally mess it up and put them in the wrong poll. That is also why I highly recommend full Six-Person rosters for whatever lgbtq+ category you want to recommend.

Now I will add to this. I will be doing both Canon or coded characters? Because I know for the longest they wouldn't explicitly say they were LGBTQ+. There will also be a fannon categories to this. I will put a preference to Canon and coded characters by making those polls first. If I don't have enough of those polls to fill out 30 days worth of polls. That's when I will start doing the fannon recommendations. Ships are allowed because I've done Duo and trio polls but be aware those are sometimes very hard to find photos. Especially because I still will not accept fan art, but I've also learned how to use Photoshop recently so I can Photoshop two official photos together if I have to because I've already done it for a few of the duo polls already if you haven't already been able to tell.

If there are any questions, especially regarding the pride month event the ask box is open.

[jungshookz]

christmas at cee's place - happy holidays 2023!

hello!!

as you probably already know, december is my favourite month because... it's my birthday month but ALSO i just love the cold and snow and hot chocolate and gift-giving and holiday cheer <3

anyway, i wanted to do something nice for everyone because i know i haven't been as consistent and active as i used to be so i hope you'll accept this as a token of my appreciation for your patience and understanding and ALSO the fact that you guys continued to check up on me while i wasn't here was really so incredibly touching - your support and love means the world to me and this blog and this space would not exist without your presence!

okay with all the gooeyness out of the way: essentially this is going to be a toned down version of the christmas at cee's place that i did back in 2020 because realistically i cannot be churning out like 8k word drabbles every week like twenty year old cee did (i wish i could but i'm getting old) but they'll still be a little something to keep you company during the holidays :-) think of them as my teeny tidbits but just a little bit longer!! i'm not sure how many i'll write because those of you who have been around for a while know that i kinda like to post whatever i want whenever i want and then i disappear for six hours but i will definitely be around a little more this month!

so this is where you come in! i encourage everyone to send in holiday-themed mini drabble requests so that i can continue to make ur dreams come true while adding a little bit of nutmeg and cinnamon into the mix :D old characters, new characters, no request is too wild or too much for me to handle -- just send them in and i'll try my best to make it happen.

love ya,

cee(nta clause)

[epickiya722]

I do not know if it was you, or another blogger that made a character analysis of Gojo that made me like the character and discover more about him through the manga.

While I never read the manga before or watched the anime, I had been exposed to it by my friends and some BNHA bloggers. Back then, I found Gojo to be overhyped (discount Kakashi) while liking the animation(?) style, bit still no interest.

BNHA and its Endeavour Redemption arc in the doing was tiring me to the point that I stopped reading it and manga altogether. For mayne six months or so, until now, at least. I randomly found your blog last week , and it got me a new hyper fixation 😃. You got me to start reading JJK (Megan cos playing also helps).

I bought Number 0 and Number 1 of the mangas. Only to remember midway in Number 0 that Walmart Kakashi will be snapped in two like a Kit Kat🥲. I saw that leak in one of the BNHA blogs, and I didn't mind it back then since I wasn't in the fandom, but Lord, now it sucks.

Anyways, all this long rant to say that I like reading your posts.

Gojo, rest in pain, I guess?

Probably was someone else, I don't write much analysis posts about Gojo. I think once or twice I did, I can't recall. Probably reblogged one though you saw!

I don't know, they're really just two different characters to me. Also... I was never really an active reader or watcher of Naruto like that (just very familiar) so when I first saw Gojo, Kakashi didn't register to me at all.

Like, I did not get similar vibes at all. And it actually annoys me that people will be like "He copied Kakashi's flow"! Kakashi ain't the only white haired, face covering character out there with magical eyes, y'all stop. 😆

Even funnier when, by this point, Gojo has probably been unmasked more than he has been wearing something on his face and switches up what he puts on his face. Kakashi been wearing the same mask for...? Also, didn't it take years for Kakashi's whole face to be shown or something? Took like seven episodes for Gojo to show that face.

**

I always been a fan of Megan's music and then when I found out she was into anime I was like "YYYYYEEEEEAAAAH". She cosplayed as Miruko one Halloween and it made my year. I am a former believer that Miruko would vibe to her music.

Just seeing other Black women being unapologetic fans of anime (or anything) does wonders for me and I hate it when people act as if it's such a foreign idea to understand. Honey, we can have interests, too, like everyone else. It's normal.

**

I always try to be careful about spoilers for anything I'm into. Like, I can talk about a chapter that happened two years ago, but I'll still mark as a spoiler because I know some people don't read Mangas or even if they do haven't caught up to that specific part.

That actually what set me off when Usher cosplayed as Gojo because he literally put "rest in peace, Gojo" or something along those lines and the amount of people who weren't even aware of 236... like bro, come on.

I knew it just had to be a marketing tactic because I know damn well Usher ain't seen JJK a day in his life and how convenient it is he comes out with that cosplay around the time when "Daddy's Home" becomes a fairly popular song used in Gojo's edits. I can't go watching one video on YouTube without hearing that song play when Gojo pops up. And even if he has... WHY WOULD YOU TAG IT LIKE THAT?!

Oh, but Megan definitely doesn't know any of the characters she be cosplaying, alright... okay... 🙄

I'm just going off on a whole tangent here, I apologize for that. I've been sick for like three days and just woke up from a nap. 😅

**

Also, thank you! Glad you enjoy my posts!! Anytime anyone says they like reading my posts, I still get shocked. They're really are just random thoughts I been having and really I'm still learning grasping the characters and story myself. And this is just for any. I don't even for them to get read, let alone for anyone to actually agree with me. I guess because, at the end of the day, I really just needed to throw a thought out there before I lose it or keep rethinking about it over and over.

[siffrin-gimmick-blog-number-37]

Greetings and Salutations, everyone! Allow me to properly introduce myself.

My name is Zeisty King — aka the random individual behind this silly little blog! I mainly go by just Zeisty, though (seeing as I treat the "King" part as a surname).

My main goal for this blog is to doodle Siffrin from In Stars and Time (as well as other characters sometimes) so I can get used to a new tablet and set up, while also having fun with it!! Hence why I named this blog the way I did and why I don't mind calling the art I post here "messy," especially considering half of them are sketches anyway!

I may make mistakes from time to time and some results may be wonky, but that's okay! It's all a part of the learning process!! And is not limited to forgetting how anatomy works; I put two hands on the wrong way in one post once and I have to accept the fact I did that.

REOCCURRING GIMMICK BLOG TAGS:

#main blog to gimmick blog — anything from my main blog that I've reblogged to this one! I don't think I'll do it a whole lot, but I just wanted to let you know that happens and that they may contain spoilers when it does.

#not quite a daily — on occasion, doodles that don't count as a daily (but are still silly enough to be shown off on this blog) will be posted here! I don't think I'll do it too much, but don't be surprised if you see any doodles that aren't dailies from time to time.

#personal reblog — anything I've reblogged from myself once, twice or even thrice! I sometimes do it to make sure you haven't missed a post from me, or if I have something else to say about it.

#siffrin gimmick blog asks — as of posting this introduction this week, this is a new one! These are any questions you lovely folks wanna send in through this blog's askbox, and that I've answered.

#siffrin gimmick blog doodles — self explanatory! These are any drawings/doodles I've made for this blog, dailies or otherwise! I aim post here every day, though I sometimes won't on account of my memory or out of respect for certain events. Or if I need a break. I am only one goober, after all.

#siffrin gimmick blog rambles — any thoughts I need to say or anything I need to inform you will be under this tag! They won't contain art, so this one and any others like it are the exceptions.

#siffrin gimmick blog suggestions — got any suggestions for me to draw? Along with the ask tag, this is a new one as of this week! Any ideas you have for me to draw will be slotted under this tag! Be careful not to send in any spoilers, as I refuse to draw them six days of the week.

#siffrin gimmick blogs angsty sundays — this is the only time I'll intentionally post spoilery, angsty and/or serious art! I'll make sure to tag them as such so you can avoid them. I just wanted to give you a little head's up that I'll also reblog spoilers and tag them as well. :3

ADDITIONAL NOTES:

-My main blog is @electrozeistyking! You can find me reblogging my gimmick blog doodles there, along with any other stuff I drew not meant for this one (and stuff other people made)!! It's not exclusively ISAT stuff though, obviously.

-I swear quite a bit and do not tag them when I do. It'd probably be a hassle for me if I did, so if you're not cool with that, feel free to block this blog! You absolutely don't have to interact if you don't want to. I will tag other serious stuff/triggers, though! (Except this post, seeing as it's the introduction and it's important folks don't miss it. Sorry!)

-I'm not guaranteed to accept every suggestion or answer every ask sent my way. In the case of suggestions, there is a chance I won't be inspired enough to draw it for you; in the case of asks, I might not know what to say. And other possible reasons, if they ever happen to come up.

-I see every ask sent my way, so please try not to send the exact same Ask/Suggestion more than once! I promise I'm either formulating a response, figuring out how to draw your suggestion, or I was forced to delete it (in regards to the following note).

-I don't want this blog to overshadow you, so I'll unfortunately have to force myself to delete your ask if it has nothing to do with this blog in particular or ISAT. That's why I recommend you send it into my main blog instead!

That's it for now! Thanks for reading, and for hanging around this blog with me! :D

[obislittleone]

supporting palestine ≠ being antisemitic. israel has been occupying palestine for decades and palestine has a right to resist. educate yourself.

you don't want to go here. For the past six years, I have dedicated hundreds of hours of my time to researching and studying BOTH sides of this historical dilemma. You can even scroll back far enough on my blog to see that in earlier times, I stood with Palestine when I felt things were being done unfair.

I only now have a problem when Hamas, who is a terrorism group, is kidnapping and raping/murdering the people of Israel. These people were celebrating peace at the end of the Jewish holiday week of Sukkot.

One of my friends was at the peace concert, dedicated to celebrating and enjoying this occasion. She had to run for her life because of a surprise Hamas attack that ended with both her Parents and cousin being abducted and shoved into vehicles at gunpoint. Palestinians were not under attack by Israel when this was happening, and it was unprompted. My friend is in an unsafe location, less than 50 miles from Gaza, and has had to run away from her home several times due to missile alarms.

These attacks were brought on so suddenly, that even the Iron Dome was caught off guard. Now that Israel has responded to these vicious attacks, people claim they are murdering Palestinians, and going on an unwarranted attack themselves. They ignore the deaths and harm done to Israel because it fits their narrative of Palestine being the victim.

Ignoring the deaths of Jewish people and flipping the script that those who committed those murders were the innocent victims are by definition: Nazis.

I really hope that you take a moment to understand how insane it is to be closed-minded and then tell others to educate themselves. It really shows that you yourself haven't probably been widely educated, and are probably just on the bandwagon of support because it's trending. So please, oh brave anon, educate yourself, and as I stated in my last post, fuck you.

.

To anyone coming on my blog to spread hate against Jews, please know that I will not stand for it. I have so many people I know who are direct victims of antisemitic hate crimes, and it is sickening. I have seen literal evidence of Nazis still being in existence, and using different political issues to hide behind so that they don't get persecuted for it. My friend was held down in a parking lot last year and had a swastika carved into his shoulder by a group of men who had the symbol also painted onto their truck. This shit is REAL. there are still people who want to harm and murder Jews simply because they exist. Palestine, though given the right to peacefully coexist with Israelites for decades, has risen up a terrorist group to fight their battles.

In response with Anon's statement of 'Israel has been occupying palestine' I'd like everyone to remember that the very earliest historical records (excluding the bible/torah, because many deem it as a faulty source) show that the land was called Israel, and Palestine did not even exist. If you'd like to make the argument that anyone was forced out of their land, why don't you do a little research on the Israelites and the Ottoman Empire. I am a learned bitch, and I did my homework. I suggest everyone else do theirs before they make their opinions that can be easily swayed by media.

[nat-1-whump]

Just found your blog and I'm enjoying it! I thought you might like to hear about my whumpy D&D session last night.

~~~

The party has been searching for a group of university students who went missing weeks ago from an astronomy expedition in the mountains. Last night we found them, holed up in the crypts below a ruined fortress. A dragon has been nesting on the roof of the fortress, and somehow the students got locked in while hiding from the dragon. We don't know how long they've been trapped, and they can't tell us yet (still too sick and traumatized).

The students are malnourished, dehydrated, terrified, and have five levels of exhaustion (at six, you die). It's also super cold here, underground in the snowy mountains. My cleric PC brought them to full HP, but that's not much, and it doesn't help the exhaustion. Ideally, we'd bring them upstairs and make a fire, but the dragon is returning very soon, so we have to stay hidden (we're level 5 and not keen to fight a dragon yet!). One of our NPC companions also has a level of exhaustion from the demanding journey into the mountains.

So we're doing guard shifts outside the entrance to the crypts while the rest of us try to spend the night as comfortably as possible. We dragged broken pallets and dusty bedding down from the barracks to keep us off the cold stone floor, our wizard is using prestidigitation to warm some of the stone and make tea, and someone made hot stew in the gatehouse and brought it over. We're helping the students warm up and making them pace themselves with water and food. They're understandably freaked out about spending another night down here, especially with the door closed, but it's the safest option. Maybe our bard can help distract and entertain us until bedtime.

If all goes well, everyone will get a long rest and feel somewhat better in the morning (especially the students, who can't even walk right now). The dragon will leave for the day and we can travel back down the mountain on our horses (who are hidden in the gatehouse for the night, with an NPC guarding them). We found an old toboggan that we might be able to use as a sleigh/sledge/stretcher if needed.

For now, I'm loving getting to roleplay so much caretaking! The DM brought me to tears with their portrayal of these poor students. I'm so glad we found them alive, and it feels great to be helping them and my party in a dire situation. My character is a luckbringer cleric with a holy duty to aid the daring. That aid currently looks like helping them keep their health and spirits up so they can stay daring.

I love this! Gets whumpier and whumpier. A group of students desperately huddling for warmth as they try to survive a deadly situation they weren't prepared for, unsure if they'd ever be rescued? Found malnourished, dehydrated, terrified, exhausted, and hiding from a monster in a freezing mountain? Cleric getting to provide comfort and warmth that these people haven't seen in your-patron-knows-how-long??? ASDFGHJKL my heart.

(Also, I don't know when this ask was sent so I'm sorry if this response is very late. I probably missed the notification or something.)

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

More Peacock and Gamble radio updates. Another post where I don't think anyone should read it, I don't think anyone will read it, and that combined with the fact that I'm tired means I can't be bothered to edit (not that I usually do proper editing of this blog, but I'm usually slightly careful and give it a quick glance over, haven't done that here), it's probably unreadable. I really am almost done with them now.

I have two episodes left of the Peacock & Gamble FUBAR Radio show, and Jesus Fucking Christ, did that ever escalate. Or the opposite of escalate. Devolve. It definitely did something. I checked today, the combined length of all the video and audio files in my Peacock & Gamble (plus some solo Peacock stand-up) folder. 196 hours in total. 196 hours worth of files, all nicely labeled and organized into sub-folders – honestly, the admin on this one took ages. 196 hours and I’ve watched or listened to all of it except six, the last two 3-hour radio episodes. I have to get them done.

I’ve been saying that for several days now. Things started really escalating/devolving around episode 14, and since then I’ve said I don’t care what else comes up, I’m not doing anything besides listen to this (except, you know, the things I have to do for a living, and annoyingly my work chose this week to decide I’m going to be 8-6 for three days in a row) until I get to the end and can be free of this madness. Several days ago I got to download ten new stand-up shows by different people, all of which I’m very excited to hear especially with my trip to Edinburgh coming up so soon, but I haven’t listened to any of them yet because there’s a radio show collapsing and I have to know how it ends. Which is a weird motivation to have, since I do know how it ends. Badly, for everyone. They leave the radio station and never speak to each other again (that's a slight exaggeration, and also Ray did go back to the radio station later, I think once a number of things were more stable). I don’t know what kind of ending I’m hoping I’ll get to. But at the moment it’s like reading a book that’s in the middle of its most chaotic and climactic part, I can’t just put it down.

I also stopped writing update posts after every episode as I’d been doing for a while, because 1) I didn’t want to stop listening long enough to do anything else, including write about it, and 2) did I mention that my hours are too long and I need a new job? Things aren’t going well on that front, by the way. It’s fine, I’ve got some audio from 2014 to distract me. Anyway here’s an update on the last few episodes.

They’ve found a new enemy. I've said before that they always do well when they have an enemy. Raji James. Listeners who will be cool about getting abused. Guests whom they either genuinely or pretend to dislike. Horrible controversial talk show hosts on their own network. Grocery store chains. Picking on each other was funnier back when they had less genuine tension between them, and in the 2014 run, they’ve been mainly getting by on finding outlets besides each other where they can direct their combativeness. But they have now, finally, found the final boss of Peacock & Gamble enemies: FUBAR Radio and all its management and production staff.

I think episode 14 was the first one where Ray Peacock was actively trying to get fired. There were a lot of episodes before that when he certainly didn’t seem to mind whether he got fired or not. But also, there wasn’t a lot of danger of that, because this station was clearly going hard on marketing itself as uncensored and controversial, so the more Ray Peacock flouted rules of radio, the more he played into what they wanted, letting them brag about being shocking and dangerous. Which was all right until they started using that angle to promote genuinely dangerous stuff like racist and misogynist talk show hosts, even happening to specifically choose one who had a negative personal history with Ray Peacock, which, shockingly, did not seem to be something he took in stride, when it got thrown at him in the middle of a severe mental health breakdown. Again, it is like someone wrote this as a movie. If I ever found out this whole thing was scripted, I would be incredibly impressed with everyone involved, and believe they all deserved awards. As it is, I’m still very impressed, but for very different reasons, and definitely none of them deserve awards for it.

I know Ray Peacock has said since that he and Ed had decided a while beforehand that they just wouldn’t go back after Edinburgh, that they’d been thinking of leaving for a while, so by June and July of that year, they had to have both stopped factoring in a future at that radio station into their career-based plans. Ray Peacock also mentioned in that episode that he was previewing his Here Comes Trouble show, and it would be a perfect ending if he could close on a story about how he managed to find a way to get fired from uncensored radio. I’ve heard that show – a couple of versions, in fact – and yeah, as absolutely brilliant a show as it ended up being, it would have been even better with an ending like that. Perfectly on theme. Would have wrapped it all up nice. Would have required rejigging the emotional tone a bit, but I’m sure he could have managed.

So I’m pretty sure he was actively looking for loopholes in the term “uncensored”, things you’re not allowed to do even there. Started going out for cigarettes during the show, which he’d done a bit before but had at least tried to be subtle about it. After the escalation, he took a phone call from the listener, immediately said he needs to go for a smoke and then hung up on the guy, and walked out of the room, leaving Ed Gamble there alone, who couldn’t even put a song on because he didn’t know how to work the desk, and who clearly hadn’t been warned that this would happen. You’re definitely not supposed to do that. I’m not a radio expert but I don’t think you’re supposed to do that.

He started slagging off the producers, which had also been there from the beginning but there was a sharp shift when it went from fun banter to much harsher (I don't think he genuinely hated the actual people who were producing the show, they were proxies for other people who mismanaged things, but he did a very convincing impression of someone who hated the actual people in the room). Went from picking fights with the talk show host personally, to (still doing that but also) talking shit about the management as a whole, of the station that would choose to hire that guy. Oh, and at the same time they hired Katie Price on a different show, so he went off about that too.

I do get the impression that this happened across a backdrop of a radio station genuinely in shambles, that he wasn’t making all of that up. Richard Herring and a couple of other respectable comedian presenters had left, they were replaced with people who’d been hired only for shock value. They’ve said since (and made a couple of references to it at the time as well) that they weren’t getting paid on time or at all, either. And it also sounds like there was a bunch of genuine incompetence in how things were run, like guests not being booked properly, though I assume it was actually the fault of higher up people, and Ray was yelling at production staff for effect. I get the impression that the whole thing may have been an early version of that thing that came into fashion around the mid-2010s, of people saying “We don’t need to follow the rules and prioritize people who know what they’re doing, let’s be controversial mavericks!” and then it turns out that there’s actually a reason why other radio stations secure stable funding and ensure basic things like guest booking go smoothly. Obviously this is just my guess based on knowing very little. But there only a few different stories that just play out over and over, and that’s one of them.

In the fourth and final season of The Ray Peacock Podcast, Ray said things had fallen apart at the end because “it happened for real”. In early days of the podcast they made jokes about how Raji James had fucked everything up and his life had fallen apart. By the end of the podcast, he’d been evicted from his house for real, and those jokes felt a lot more immediate. It does feel slightly like a larger-scale version of that happened across the whole 196 hours of Peacock & Gamble that I’ve dug up. In the early Ray Peacock Podcast days, Ray was playing a guy who was always a dangerous wildcard in a social situation, will test the limits of how far fucking with people is allowed to go. But it was all carefully constructed, they’d run it by Raji beforehand, when they sounded at their most out of control was when they were actually hitting cues to make sound effects.

Some years later, Ray Peacock is pulling out some of his old favourite things, but this time messing with listeners who had obviously not been briefed the way Raji James was. There were two or three points where he was making listeners do stuff that was at least as bad as most of the Raji stuff, but without any warning, unless the listeners were very good actors (like I said, if it ever turns out this was all scripted, give them all awards). I mean, obviously the listeners would have called in knowing something like that might happen. But probably not the extent of it, as he seemed to pick his moments at random. Also, there is definitely a sense that Ray Peacock had gone from playing a guy who was a dangerous social wild card to actually being that guy.

There were a couple of points where I found myself wondering, to quote Ed Gamble’s catchphrase of the day… “Is that all right?” Like, for real. Assuming this wasn’t all a brilliantly scripted satire on something or other, Ray Peacock clearly just should not have been on the radio while in that mental state. I’m thinking of the Pierre Novellie material about whether it’s unethical to laugh at a comedian when the reason they’re funny is that they’re just speaking the thoughts of a person with a mental health condition (“It is not illegal to hire a man with severe OCD as a cleaner”). And to be clear, through all of this, Ray Peacock remained incredibly funny. But there were definitely times – a few specific times – when I laughed, and then felt like I maybe shouldn’t be laughing at this. Not even at his really dark jokes about his own suicidal tendencies or things like that – I’m fine with dark jokes, when they’re made by the person affected (instead of at the expensive of that person). I’m thinking of times when he did stuff on air that was funny but also a genuinely bad idea, and was clearly happening because his mental health had deteriorated to the point where impulse control had eroded to nothing – and that isn’t me armchair diagnosing a stranger, it’s the thing he explained in his stand-up show had happened – and laughing at that didn’t feel entirely okay. Even if it was funny. Which it was, every time.

In all of this, there was maybe one instance when he crossed the line, in my mind, into genuinely unlikeable. It was a quite small instance that lasted about two minutes, and that’s pretty good, I think, that I still found him likeable for all but two minutes of those many hours, despite being in the middle of that bad a breakdown. Though I have frequently found other comedians very likeable, when I’ve been told that others find them unlikeable for being too bitter or competitive or combative or whatever else, so other people’s standards may vary. Hell, there are people who thought Ed Gamble was too harshly combative in the Taskmaster era, not realizing that that’s Ed Gamble with the edges sanded off. You should have seen him a few years earlier, he did a lot worse than yell at David Baddiel a bit.

Which brings me to the next topic of this post. I can hardly believe that I spent my posts about the first few episodes of this radio show complaining that Ed Gamble was being too professional, playing the straight man role too much. When Ray Peacock went totally off the rails in later episodes, far from stopping him, Ed Gamble went hard the other way. In fact, there were a couple of times when Ray was off about something and I found myself thinking… “Okay, Ed, this might actually be the time to get in there. I know I wanted you to let him go before, but that’s when he was singing over Muppet songs, not asking listeners to call in with stories about their suicide attempts. Maybe it’s time to play straight man?” But that’s not fair, is it? For me to complain about Ed when he reins Ray in and then to complain when he doesn’t. So I’ll be fair to Ed Gamble and say that, to his credit, from about episode 12 onwards, he was relentlessly on board with anything Ray came up with. I got the impression at some point that Ray had started trying to do things that would make Ed stop him, and Ed didn’t blink. Ray makes an horrifying joke about his intention to commit suicide? Ed says cool, let’s plan your fucking funeral. How dark do you want to go? Ray hangs up on a guest and leaves Ed alone in the studio with no warning? Ed says fine, he’ll call the guest back and abuse him for a bit and then create some chaos with two phone lines at once. He’d spent enough years learning how to do it.

Okay, there was one time when Ray Peacock got angry at the producers because the guest didn’t turn up, so he retaliated by making them come into the studio and have an in-depth discussion about pedophilia, and Ed Gamble hung back a bit and sort of tried to subtly get them off the subject. But even then, he wasn’t forceful about it. He pretty much just let it happen.

And in fact, there were times when Ed seemed to be trying to one-up Ray in this game of who can push things the farthest, which was a futile effort but shows a change in him that he even gave it a shot. There was only one occasion when he succeeded, after all those times of it being the other way around. I guess I won’t get too detailed about what they were doing, but it ended in Ray slowing down and then Ed suddenly took it a step farther, causing Ray to crack up a bit, briefly come out of character, and tell him, “Mate, stop it. You’re on telly. You can lose things, I can’t.” Which was 1) weirdly adorable in a way I can’t explain, and 2) a pretty good summary of the entire situation.

Ed's also started going a lot harder on the sort of "old school, Lee Mack-style quick comebacks or wordplay" thing. It's a skill I didn't really know he had, at least to that extent. I've heard him do it a little bit in more recent stuff, but not nearly as much as that. He was pretty good at it, as Ray started acknowledging on air in the episode just after the one that caused me to point it out in a previous post, and I was pleased to have the confirmation that I was right to think this was a sudden change in Ed, one worth remarking. Ray made some joke about how Ed got one TV show and then immediately started talking like a guy who had a team of Mock the Week quip writers working for him, which I'd guess might be pretty much what happened (not that he actually had writers, obviously, but that the sudden interest in honing the quip-making skill may have come from moving up to be a panel show candidate soon). As the episodes went on, Ed occasionally went overboard with it to the point of being a bit annoying, but it was funny most of the time, I thought.

He's rebelling hard against both the "sidekick" and "straight man" roles. Trying to be the joke maker, bringing the attention back to himself more, when in some previous iterations of their work (ie. the Edinburgh interviews from 2012 and 2013), Ed often faded into the background while Ray took on the guests. And Ed was also trying to be the guy who can go off the rails just as hard as Ray Peacock, which is, as I said, futile. But he gave it a hell of a try.

They had a couple of interesting discussions, during their radio run, about how Ed Gamble is good at doing tour support because he can just keep a night moving along at a decent pace and not pull too much focus, while Ray couldn't do that job because he'll always change a room. I guess a skill like that might be the sort of thing that could win a guy an award for being the best compere. Ray pointed out that he can't be bad at that skill because he also does a lot of compering work, and TV warm-up. But I'm pretty sure they do it very differently. Ed seems very good at moving a show along professionally, and he's also good, at separate times, at being very silly and getting on board with the terrible yet funny ideas. On the other hand, Ray is very good at steering a show while simultaneously appearing to be incredibly unprofessional and out of control. He doesn't appear to know what he's doing, but the show does get steered where it's supposed to go, so clearly Ray is doing something right underneath it all. Except the times when that doesn't happen because he's too far into a genuine breakdown to be in control of anything, secretly or otherwise. And at those times, either Ed steps up and tries to run the show but that throws off the balance because he does it too straight, or he doesn't do that and the show just goes off the rails. I prefer the latter.

Anyway, the point is that I think Ed Gamble did eventually accept being the guy who doesn't change the room when he's in it. I think he must have. Because I know Off Menu is a wildly popular podcast with a lot of deeply obsessed fans, and I know a lot of those fans have dug into everything James Acaster has ever done. But even those fans cannot be doing the same thing with Ed Gamble, because if the younger Off Menu fans had dug up Ed Gamble's back catalogue, they'd have cancelled him by now. Since all this is out there, easy to find. Of those 196 hours in my Peacock & Gamble folder, a few of them are old live shows and podcast extras/behind the scenes stuff, that I got access to on Patreon. But the actual podcast episodes are all right there on Fourble for free, and easy to download. The radio episodes are all archived on the FUBAR site.

There are some things I write about on this blog that I've accessed via varying levels of secret things - sketchy free streaming or download sites that can be found by anyone who knows where to look but shouldn't be talked about too much to avoid getting them in trouble, private discord servers, and personal connections where I get sent files directly (putting it that way makes me sound way more connected than I am - I have exactly one connection of that sort, but it's a really good one, I got incredibly lucky). But I cannot emphasize enough how much I needed to use none of that to find Ed Gamble's back catalogue. It's all there in public. A bit of it is locked in a Patreon account that people can access fully for $2 if they want to (I paid a bit more than that and will keep my subscription for a while, I'm enjoying the content and figure I owe him for all the free entertainment, but someone could access it all for almost no money), but most of it's free. Free and easy to find. Oh, I grabbed a few little extra things off YouTube, too. Also free. Some of the oldest podcast episodes are also on YouTube, in addition to Fourble. And despite that, no one is digging them up these days.

That veered off topic for a bit, but the point is that it was interesting to hear Ed Gamble talk about how he knows he's rarely the most interesting comedian in a room, that's what makes him good at compering and tour support and straight man roles. However, for a while on this 2014 radio show, he seemed to be trying hard to change that, to stand out more (it's tough to be the most interesting comedian in the room when you're next to Ray Peacock - not an easy feat with James Acaster either, actually). I think Ed's given up, since then, on changing that. He's still not the guy who makes fans interested enough in him to dig up everything he's ever done, even though he's doing very popular stuff with a lot of fans right now. But it might be in his interests to keep it that way. That risk might be the sort of thing that could make a guy write a book that covers the history of his life and doesn't mention a massive part of seven years of it.

Back on topic, here's another thing I noticed in the later FUBAR Radio episodes - the guests are a good barometer for how much funnier the show got as it went along. In the first few episodes, I found myself looking forward to when the guest would show up, because the Peacock & Gamble interactions felt a bit stilted, and the guest breathed some life into it. Past episode 10 or so, I tended to forget a guest was coming until they actually turned up, and when they did, it annoyed me a bit, because I'm finding Peacock & Gamble so funny that I just want to hear more of them, without anyone else to dilute their dynamic. With the exception of when Sara Pascoe and John Robins turned up in episode 15, which was a really nice interview that was a welcome break from the entire show collapsing around them. This was actually the second time I heard that interview, as I first heard it earlier in 2024 when I was doing my intensive dive into everything John Robins has ever done (like I said, I've dedicated all of 2024 so far to comedians who've been fired as warm-up acts for Deal or No Deal). I think I said at the time that the interview felt chaotic and unprofessional (in a good way) - obviously because I listened to it while listening to the Elis and John XFM/Radio X catalogue, so I compared it to that. Turns out that when I hear it in the context of other Peacock & Gamble stuff, it sounds like a downright pleasant chat.

I like that Ray Peacock appears to appreciate narrative parallels. He'd spent most of the years since the end of The Ray Peacock Podcast using references to that extremely sparingly (in his podcast and radio stuff, obviously, I don't know what he was doing live, though I know the Peacock & Gamble Edinburgh/tour shows stayed away from it almost entirely). Then, late in the radio run, at what they had to know was the end of the Peacock & Gamble saga, Ray started mentioning Raji James a bunch. They even tried to call him live on air in episode 17, but he didn't answer. There was some material about Raji James in Ray's Edinburgh show that year, so I guess that was on his mind while he was previewing it. But it meant the Peacock & Gamble saga came full circle on a few things, besides just the obvious "this started with Ray Peacock playing a wildly out-of-control combative character, and then he had a breakdown and became that for real".

Starting in episode 15, I think, Ray pulled out the extreme childish voice that he used to use on the Peacock & Gamble podcast, that I hadn't heard in anything from the several years since then. It came out at a point in the episode when he and Ed had both really run out of steam, there was no energy in the room, and Ray suddenly decided to just start yelling like a five-year-old. Ed quickly got on board and followed suit, and I started laughing too hard on the bus again, because fucking hell I forgot how funny that was (weird that I'd forgotten a bit because it hadn't been long for me, since I've speedrun Peacock & Gamble, but still, it feels like 100 years ago that they were doing that). He brought it back out a couple of times in the next couple of episodes. He even threw in a quick "petrol" in one bit, and the words "or drink!" into a separate bit, both major catchphrases from their old podcast. Quick, blink-and-you'll-miss-it references.

There was also a parallel that I assume was unintentional, in that in one of the very first Peacock & Gamble episodes, one of the first really big laughs that podcast got from me was Ray suddenly asking Ed, "Should we just fuck this off?", and explaining how they could get McDonald's instead of recording a podcast and that would be more fun. I immediately thought of that at the point, late in the FUBAR Radio run five years later, when Ray Peacock announced that he'd had enough of all this bullshit and was ready to walk out live on air and never come back. He asked Ed if Ed would go with him if he did that, and Ed actually hesitated for a fraction of a second - after several weeks of admirably managing to get on board without hesitation no matter what Ray threw at him - before saying that yep, he'd walk out right then if Ray did. Ray then started yelling at the producers in the room, asking if anyone wanted to leave with him, and there was a clear understanding that he wasn't joking, he'd been ready to quit for a while and had genuinely decided this could be the moment. It was tense to listen to, so very different from Ray and Ed just sitting in Ray's house and giggling about the idea of blowing off a podcast recording to go to McDonald's. Then a distraction happened and they did not, in fact, walk out. But I have no doubt that he was serious about being close to doing it.

I thought I'd post a clip to illustrate some of it - this happened after Ray had already declared he was ready to walk out of the studio and never come back because of the incompetence/other problems at the radio station. They'd mentioned earlier in the episode that they'd been given trailers for various FUBAR shows and been asked to play them, and Ray decided to pull them out while he was on the phone with a listener who'd called in. She didn't want to hear the Justin Lee Collins trailer, and understandably so (I have listened to nearly all 196 hours of Peacock & Gamble, but the one bit of it I found myself nearly - not quite, but nearly - skipping was their half-hour guest spot on Justin Lee Collins' show, because my God, is that man ever annoying), but then Ray worked out that there was a Peacock & Gamble trailer in there, and... yeah, I don't blame them for wanting to walk out on the spot.

So that's the level of being fucking done with it all that they got to, when there were still three episodes left. Things have seriously devolved. And I have to get to the end. I have to finish the last couple of episodes before I do anything else, so I may be free of this Godforsaken story. Also it's still very funny and I don't want to stop listening to it.

Well this post got long. I need to go to bed. On a lighter note, I've been greatly enjoying the music they play. I've downloaded a few songs that I heard on this show, plus have been listening to Jonathan Coulton again. I didn't need to download his stuff as I already have lots, I was really into him since high school, but I forgot about him for years, and appreciate Ray Peacock reminding me of Coulton's existence. That's been fun.

Here, let's end this post on a positive note. Since writing this has felt weirdly bleak, for a post about an incredibly funny radio show that's been hugely entertaining me all week (the difference is that when you hear it play out on the radio show, it's done by comedians who are constantly interspersing it with comedic bits - if you just describe what happened without doing comedy, it doesn't sound fun). And I've managed to stay mostly on topic for almost this entire post, so why not end it by going off topic and telling you about my high school music taste? I've always found this song genuinely, unironically inspirational (they haven't even played this one on the radio, they've played deeper cuts, and I like his deep cuts, but with Jonathan Coulton, my favourite is the obvious):

[seblaineworld]

Hey, Seblainers! Hellooooo, everyone else!

A month to go until Seblaine Week 2023, so without any further ado, here are the FAQs!

The Rules

When?

The event runs from midnight (of your own timezone) on Monday 21st August until 23:59 (of your own timezone) on Sunday August 27th 2023

Who can take part?

Anyone and everyone who shares our love of Seblaine!

What can we submit?

Anything, as long as it is Seblaine-related! Fics, Graphics, Gifs, Gifsets, Videos, Manips, Playlists, Lyrics - anything you like as long as it fits the themes! We're looking forward to seeing what everyone comes up with.

Please remember to use #seblaineworld and #seblaineweek2023 within the first five tags, and also put @seblaineworld in your posts, since we all know just how flaky Tumblr can be about tags!

Be sensible and considerate. We all know that not everyone shares our love of Seblaine, and even within our own tiny (but always fierce!) Seblainer Fandom, there are those who don't enjoy mature content, so please ensure you tag everything you submit, appropriately.

Can I cross-post/combine themes?

Yes! You can combine any of the themes that you want. And if your contribution does combine multiple themes, you can post on whichever day you prefer. Just remember, if your contribution covers one or more themes, then properly tag all days, regardless of which day you actually post on.

Do I need to submit something for every day?

Absolutely not. If you want to contribute something for every day, then of course you can, but it's not a requirement at all. We know everyone has busy lives, so just do what you can when you can.

Can I post a WIP or work if it fits the themes, even if I started it weeks/months/years before the Seblaine Week 2023 announcement?

Absolutely! Your Admins have both done this before and feel it's a great way to refresh creativity and blow the cobwebs off that piece you just KNOW you'll finish one day, but never quite seem to have the time. So feel free to post anything you've already started - providing it fits one of the themes!

On that note, do remember that the free day is exactly that. A day on which you can write about/create for, any theme you like! Did your favourite theme just narrowly miss out on being in the top six? If so, here's your chance to do something about it and make a submission using that theme!

When do we start posting?

As soon as it becomes Monday 21st August in your own timezone, post your work to your Tumblr blog, and as mentioned above, please tag it according to the theme or themes it covers, and make sure #seblaineworld and #seblaineweek2023 are in your first five tags. Please also put @seblaineworld somewhere in your post.

If you're going to be posting your work to another site like AO3 or ff.net, post a properly tagged link on your Tumblr.

A Seblaine Week 2023 collection will be added to AO3. More details nearer the time.

Can I post early?

Sorry, no. 🙃 In short, that would be a logistical nightmare for us! Tumblr, however, does let you schedule posts so you can schedule the post for the right theme day, even if you're not going to be around that day. Of course this gets a little harder to navigate if you’re also posting to another site like AO3/ff.net, so if this is going to be a problem, let us know and we'll figure it out.

Can I post late?

Now for the good news - yes! We know how time can occasionally run away from us all, so as long as everything is tagged properly you can post (for example) your day 3 piece on day 7 and that won't be a problem. Everything posted will be reblogged until Sunday September 3rd.

You haven't reblogged my work yet!

No problem! Again, because Tumblr can be (very!) erratic, just send us an Ask or message if we haven't reblogged your work within 24 hours of you posting it, and one of us will get onto it right away.

So, that's it for now! We're excited to see all your work, and hope you'll join us for our first time hosting Seblaine Week. Just drop us an Ask or message if you have a question that's not been covered here, and we'll see you all on Monday 21st August!

Ail 💜

[sasslett]

Get to know me!

tagged by @elveny, let's see if I can get this done before I have to get out of bed (someone play me the world's smallest violin)

Share your wallpaper: So my PC is set to cycle through my XIV screenshot folder as its wallpaper, so here's my Chromebook (where I do all my writing) and my phone (where I do all my blogging) wallpapers instead!

A lovely comm from thetictactician on Twitter on my Chromebook!

and this amazing comm on my phone from Hollycircling on Twitter, I can't believe she indulged me and went this fucking hard but she did this. In a week.

The last song you listened to: Warrior by Beth Crowley (this is such a Jess song tbh)

Currently Reading:  Ok... so... I actually haven't read any sort of published novel since... 2011, with A Storm of Crows I think? So I used to read a shit ton, but it was 11th grade and my friends were like 'You're still reading kids books? Read something for grown ups instead' (I was rereading Percy Jackson at the time, my beloved). So I gave it a try with a 'grown up' fantasy series and... fuck GoT it was awful and I decided if that's what adult literature was like, I didn't want any part of it. So I quit reading entirely.

Last Movie: Bullet Train, months ago. I don't like watching movies - I'm huge into the behind the scenes stuff, cinematography, lighting, direction, costume design etc etc so it makes it hard to watch movies when my brain won't stop analyzing and criticizing everything (honestly modern cinema is so full of people just 'sending it' for the next big paycheck, the heart is just gone). But my husband insisted I watch this one and you know what? It was actually really well made, I was impressed.

Craving: More time. More time to finish these cosplays (Twelve have mercy the con is in a week and a half), more time to write, more time to decompress. Also craving a Chromebook/laptop/portable writing device that doesn't freeze when I type more than 5 letters in a row...

What are you wearing right now: My nightgown! (still in bed) It's got penguins on it and it's fucking adorable.

How tall are you: 5'5, idk what that is in the rest of the world. Americans, y'know.

Piercings: None, but I bought some super cute Ascian earrings last year and I've been really tempted to get my earlobes pierced.

Tattoos: None, not my thing but totally cool for everyone else!

Glasses? Contacts?: Lasik! Totally worth if you can do it.

Last drink: Choccy milk (I am an adult)

Last show: Last narrative-focused show? Uhhhhhh.... I watched the first season of The Walking Dead in 2012 and I legit can't think of anything more recent. I just don't enjoy watching things much, I'd rather be doing something, and I'm such a snob when it comes to screenwriting/characters that most things just don't appeal to me. Other than that the last non-scripted show I watched was Restaurant: Impossible.

Last thing you ate: An oatmeal chocolate chip cookie my sister made last night.

Favourite colour: Wine/burgundy! That deep, dark, blood red with just a hint of purple (in case you couldn't tell since it's the color my WoL wears in every outfit)

Current obsession: FFXIV lol

Unrelated Obsession: Unrelated? I'd say writing but that's kind of related... So, horses? I mean that's just always my obsession.

Any pets: Uh... yeah. I myself have two horses. And then... we have a shit ton of cats. So in 2020 strays kept showing up at our house and then they'd have babies, eventually we managed to catch them all and get them fixed and now some of them have chosen to move in. Shelters are full all across the state, rescues and fosters are full. So now we have... 10 cats that live inside (it's a large house) and then another six/seven that are still feral outside but fixed at least. Nothing much we can do about it, but keeping them inside keeps them safe and saves the wildlife outside, too.

Do you have a crush on anyone: An eternal crush on my husband. He's just amazing. Soft. Adorable. Handsome. Perfect. Goofy. Gorgeous. Smart. Creative. Loving. So many more words. 12 years together in May!

Favourite fictional character: Assuming player characters/WoLs don't count, Elena Fisher from Uncharted. She was the first female character I encountered who was just... normal. Not a token female, not sexualized eye candy, not walking boobs without a personality, she was... a real person, a real character in her own right, whose gender didn't change who she was. And I fell in love with that back in 2007 (I was in middle school then, so it was kind of a big deal for me). She only got better as the years went by, I still love her.

The last place you traveled: Depends on your definition of 'travel'. On a literal sense probably Portland, but since both that and Seattle are practically in my backyard I don't really count those. Other than that, Philadelphia I think, for a wedding.

TAGGING! Oh so many people should do this. Off the top of my head, if you'd like to... @ainyan, @mimble-sparklepudding, @boggleoflight, @tallbluelady, @humblemooncat, @dragoon-mid-jump, @otherworldseekers, @aethericfist and now I'm out of time and have to get ready for work so anyone else who sees this! Sorry I was tagging in a hurry, I know a lot of you are character/RP blogs so feel free to ignore.

[evelyne-am]

22nd March 2023

Day 9

I’m still slacking and to my horror others are struggling too here and there. Most of the cast is finding it tough to remember the new cues and lines and line distributions. We spent two hours on the first five lines today barely getting through the act one. Director is understandably furious. We got a proper yelling because we are just stumbling at every line. He reminds us we haven't even done the first two pages and we have 58 left. The song we open with is the one I made and I havent locked it, so we keep making mistakes on that first opening scene for over an hour.

I feel very angry with myself, even though my lackings are in a different place than others, M is correct when she says that we still haven’t jumped in fully. I wonder if I should stop writing the blog, it makes me feel like I’m still an outsider because I’m writing about it. But I also don’t want to stop because our director is really something and I would like to remember how I have been learning, how he is directing, and also these heightened emotions that I feel that may inspire me later. I already feel myself changing, my tolerance for inefficiency in my own teams is lowering. Even though I’m doing the same thing. Get to 100 percent AM!

We are on the 3rd version now. Originally we had thought it would be each person reads one part and is M1/M2/M3 turn by turn. 2nd version we played her at the same time, line by line like we are one person. Today's version seems final. There is only one M1/M2- though everyone else has dialogue its in 3rd person now. Sir seems to have picked M1/M2 as Sharm and Srab. They've played it the second day in a row. Sharm is doing super it I have to say. She’s the most experienced of the lot except M. shes able to stay in the zone and concentrate. We are working on act one which is basically pre 71, happisg times. I realise that we haven’t cried in a few sags. The first 6 to 7 days I was crying in rehearsal every day as we were learning the script. But as we are only figuring out the intros and beginning sequences none of it has been of the war of the crimes south so it’s very sort of mild. Md says that now we are forgetting the person who is actually telling the story. She is so right after rehearsal we are all feeling a bit down because I didn’t go well, I don’t blame the director for saying that he is going to see this for one more week before deciding if we will go through or not. Even though I know there’s a lot of preparation, the actual booking of the theatre, budgets, everything else is being done, so if you want to cancel you still can. After the rehearsal M calls me aside and says we need to fix that opening sequence, I’m very shame at least say yes let’s do it. She says come to our meeting tonight. I had plans to join the gym today because at this point I realise that we are no longer doing our morning exercise as we come in and go straight into the rehearsing of the play and I gained weight in the first nine days of rehearsals I’ve gained about 2 lb in any case postcode with my hunger is through the roof, stress from recent projects and personal stuff my hunger is through the roof, and though I still try to walk a little bit it’s not every day anymore like it used to be still only a few days week. also I missed the gym I haven’t been for over six months I used to love it so much. My plans though are now canceled. I go home and take a 20 minute nap and then I rush off to the meeting. Traffic is absolutely insane and I abandon my car and get a bike and thanks to a really nice bike I reach exactly at 7:29 when I am supposed to start the music work at 7:30. The meeting is in someone’s house, one of the core members of the group. I the first time see everyone in a more relaxed situation. The entire living room is split up the keyboard is kept open for me on one side on the other side people are making dinner on the other side the entire floor plan is being made with things draw been drawn to scale. The director seems to be in a better mood and everyone is figuring out logistics and planning things et cetera et cetera. everyone looks really nice they’re all dressed up in their normal clothes.

Did I ever mention that we have a sort of outfit that we wear ?. It’s T-shirts and pants that are not too loose or too tight; this is why you see me in a different T-shirt every day that is the actual uniform for rehearsal as it’s the one that is most flexible for all of our physical work. I’m the only one who still wearing my T-shirt and sweat pants. M is dressed in a sari and she keeps covering her head and I asked her why and she says that ever since the start of the play she dresses as a birangona at home. I have been considering doing a few things to keep the essence of the play with me when I go home, and I wonder if I can do the same or not I don’t know yet. I’ve considered giving up some of my favourite things to eat to do, just to channel a bit of the story is a bit more but A part of me realises that I might be best used to do the musical aspects then being a novice actor on stage, and the fact that I am in a Inner Circle meeting doing the structures for the music means that that’s also what everyone else is thinking. this is the first time that it is acknowledged at all in these circumstances that I have a sort of following all my own identity as a media person. Reference being we are trying to calculate how many shares to do how many tickets need to be sold how many tickets can be sold at certain prices and The host jokes that oh don’t worry Armeen will bring her own crowd. I have no idea if that’s true I know my friends would come. Overall it’s very light and jolly situation however once we wrap up our introductory song so I remind Sir that there is a second one to do and I actually feel like giving him ideas. I try to do a rap like spoken word piece and Azhar sort of points out doesn’t go. So I sort of give up for the day, I don’t know why I give up so easily these days. I don’t have a push sometimes when I don’t get my first brilliant idea naturally I give up very easily. The first song that I made for the intro it was literally the first thing that came out of my mind and it was based on a bunch of chords that I know that are good. The second song is different it’s not a soft song so not in my genre and obviously I am struggling with it and I just give up. but I admit it was nice to see The director a bit more relaxed; they all joke about each other and their romantic partners even Sir teases M, I’m a bit embarrassed so I just smile and sit in the corner. Our host is really sweet though she is evidently someone who has seen a lot of my work already and both the host chat with me a little bit. It feels weird to have references to my non-theatre life in theatre mode.

I’m struggling to fix my sleep schedule, when I go home it’s already pretty late, but I have my own things to do thoughts to have that I cannot ignore, I wish we were there were more days in the air, or more hours on the day that I could use to spend a little bit of time just thinking and also bloody apartment I don’t even have an AC right now and it’s getting really hot and I haven’t had the time to actually buy an AC and get it installed. Also I am dying to just organise my bookshelf it’s the first thing you see you when you enter my flat but despite the fact that I’ve had all the books nicely done I still do not have even 10 minutes to put the books in the order that I want to. I’m up till 2 am again with my own stuff. I haven’t memorised M2 either, I won’t say that I’m not enjoying being part of the music but I do realise it might lower my chances of getting any proper lines.

Oh God after disastrous rehearsal day I am a bit more relieved to see that the play is still being planned, they have decided to lower the number of shows from 25 to 19. M says it’s only physically durable to do the maximum 19 shows in a row. I have performed many many days in a row but never 19 shows I’m actually deeply looking forward to those 19 inches. Your girl hasn’t been on stage in awhile and it’s coming through.

[1d1195]

it's gonna be another long ask bestie, Im sorry 😭 I yap too much when it comes to us talking lol I will try to keep it short!

Me being locked out was so scary bc i've has my blog since like the 6th grade so even though i wiped it when I had my tumblr break a few years ago, I DO NOT WANT TO LOSE IT! oh and you weren't wrong for assuming about classes lol They still are but they were slightly better this week! side note, hot TA is lecturing tomorrow(Friday) and bestie im so excited not bc of the content but for him lol

anways lol If Harry told me off idc if this sounds like Im down bad but I would probably enjoy it lol I for sure saw that their stubbornness and her vulnerability issues would cause conflict between these two so I think that this was the best route to go in for them! I really liked reading it even though it sucks having them fight lol

I love a good backstory! I always enjoy knowing why the characters are the way they are! Like it very much connects the dots for me and I can see how certain events led them to act a certain way! idk I like knowing things lol and i also don't have a great relationship with my dad HAHA like its crazy how easily the thought about my father and I's dynamic makes me easily cry lol

ALSO another side note, the kids show Bluey literally makes me BAWL my eyes out because they have a nice relationship with her father AND the parents have a healthy relationship too 😭😭😭 so I can totally understand how writing this feels good for you!

Trust me, me using your government name is overall a good thing too lol You really GAGGED me with that cliffhanger lol

OKAY PART 7! AHHHHHHHHHH LOVED IT!!!!!!! this was such a perfect way to end it! Okay so FUCK JACK I HOPE HE SUFFERS SO MUCH :)!(i know hes not real but hes real to me so he must suffer!) FUCK THAT MAN! Ngl though was proud of her for breaking his nose which was such win! I was glad she was able to handle it on her own for the most part which is so good! Ideally she would have not gotten hurt but we need the drama lol OKay so I was giggling while reading the locker room scene only because it makes sense that Harry is being such a GUY by punching things lol oh and THE I LOVE YOU DROP?!?!? ADORABLE!!!!!!! and her and Louis's interaction omg that was a cute little moment! VERY MUCH ENJOYED THIS SERIES YOU WILL NEVER DISSAPOINT!

I am manifesting for you to have the best weekend! You WILL enjoy that trashy book and do something that is just for you to enjoy! Enjoy and relax! Wishing you the best my love!-💜

I literally have meltdowns every time I type my password incorrectly when I login. My fear is that I will lose this and all this work. That's why I spent time putting all my work in a drive six months ago. 😭

I haven't baby sat in a while so I haven't seen Bluey! (I'm a Paw Patrol girl) but I've heard ONLY good things about Bluey and how it's good for all ages 😭 Maybe I should give it a watch. Because I've been listening to this song for a few weeks and one of the lyrics is "my parents didn't teach me love but I know how to divorce" and as much as I want to get married (mostly so everyone will stop asking me when it will happen) I don't know if being married will cure everything. Okay, sorry for the heavy vent of this. Let's move on to FUN things. LIKE

HOW WAS HOT TA's LECTURE? I'm 2/3 of the way through my trashy book for the weekend and I am sorry to say I'm wishing for very inappropriate things on your behalf 🤭 maybe it will happen when I sit down to write TA Harry for you 😭

I've had most of Part 7 written for so long that I was like "Omg I need to add more" so Harry got to punch a few things more (I needed to make sure I didn't accidentally write him into legal trouble lol). Then I was like "You know we should have Louis tell her she did a good job too." hehehehehe I really loved writing this one too. It never really felt like I was at a loss of stuff to write.

Thank you for your message as always 💕

xoxo

[bts-polls]

BONUS POLL: SIX MONTH ANNIVERSARY!!

Seriously, I can't believe it's been this long already! I haven't missed a day yet but there's been a couple that were set incorrectly for 1 day instead of 1 week. :/

But more importantly, I want to thank all of you that have been around here! Without you, this would absolutely not have been worth it! Whether you vote on every poll or only occasionally, you are the reason for this blog existing. Thanks for joining me! BORAHAE! 💜💜💜

Please feel free to share any feedback or suggestions for improvement in the comments, asks, or messages. I'd love to make any adjustments to keep this a positive experience for all!

As is tradition with these bonus polls, I've compiled some fun facts below the cut:

The poll with the most voters was easily this one about our first BTS memories.

The polls that took the most effort were the desert island disc tournament. We're almost done! Just counting the closed polls, there have currently been a total of 675 votes cast across 22 polls.

I'm not sure if I'm up for another tournament-style series quite yet but I do have an idea for another one. I probably wouldn't let it stretch out as long as this one though...

Poll results that surprised me:

Member you'd like to share streaming profile: Yoongi was the top pick but I honestly don't remember him sharing much of what he chooses to watch in his spare time...maybe that's why though, we're all so curious. lol

NYE Performance: Most voters haven't seen any of it. I thought this was one of the more popular performances, given how much everyone gushes about BWL and that it was in the US at a well-known event.

Sign Language in PTD: This time it wasn't the highest response tht surprised me but a good portion of voters didn't know it. Another thing that I thought was common knowledge but apparently not.

Agust D's getaway driver: I don't see Hobi being calm enough to be entrusted with that task but nearly 50 of you thought so!

Which member you'd trust at a buffet: Not so much the results but just how this poll took off and got significantly more voters. I guess we all are opinionated in which member we'd trust to get food for us! ;)

It's so lovely to think about how differing each of us are and how varying our experiences have been but we've all arrived at the same place of voting in these silly polls.

It won't be a surprise to any of you that have read any of my Run BTS posts on my main blog that I love a good spreadsheet and some data analytics so here's the current state of my main chart for this blog:

It's not always the case but posts that get more engagement via reblogs, likes and comments also get more voters (Although there is absolutely a cyclical effect at play). I'm personally excited everytime anyone engages with the polls. I do tend to think the ones that get more votes are the kinds y'all would like to see more of so I try to create more in the same spirit.

Anyway, if you made it to the end of my rambling, thanks again for hanging out and I hope you have a great day! 💜

[mika-the-shadowbeast]

New Year, New Plan! Mika's 2024 Resolutions!

Hiya everyone! Now that I'm feeling better, I thought I should go ahead and get my plans for 2024 out before it was too late. This is going to be a list of goals I want to complete and plans for my blogs and channel. It's all going under a read more so I don't fill up your dashboards with nonsense, lol.

THE PLANS

This is the plan for my channel;

Two videos a week, on every Saturday and Tuesday if I can manage it. As well as more live videos and skits. I have a couple planned that I want to do, hopefully people like them and I can do more.

I'm also aiming to get some exclusive content up on my Patreon this year. Some videos for sure, but also maybe some art work and comics too. Idk, I haven't thought it through completely yet.

This is the plan for my blogs;

I fully intend to post more on here as well as on my spacehey! account, which is my back up in case tumblr ever dies. I will accept all friend requests there, so feel free to add me if you want. It'll mostly be my random thoughts, things of note that happened through out the day, ideas for videos or fanfics, things like that. Just general blogging things I guess?

I'm also going to link my videos here(and on spacehey!) more often too, so more people can find me around the place. I am fully intending to 'network' this year.

THE GOALS

Finally loose all that weight I've been trying to loose for like six years now, lol. I will drop below 130 this year even if it kills me!

Wear my style more in my videos. I want to look how I feel! And that means putting some fucking effort in and actually trying.

Wear my style more in general, and not just for my videos. Yeah, I should put the work into more then just my videos...

Save some fucking money! I use to have a good bit of savings, until stress drove me into a shopping addiction. Time to get those moneys back!

Get through at least three-five of the different animes that I bought during my addiction 'to watch later' that I never actually watched. I have more then 20 different series, most of which I've never seen before.

Get rid of some clothes! I have so many clothes that I don't ever wear, that I have no room for, but I also won't get rid of. This goal is to get rid of at least some of them.

Get better at art. I'm really hoping to improve my skills and maybe even learn how to animate. I also have a few comic ideas that I really want to draw and post.

And that's everything! Hopefully, next year I can come back to this and go 'I did all that!' and not be disappointed in myself. Here's to a grand and glorious 2024, where all of our dreams and wishes can come true!

[olderthannetfic]

Relationship/online friendship vent bc your blog has that Confession Booth energy going on hah:

Tumblr talks a lot about how we don't owe anyone or time and attention and it's possessive to act otherwise, and I agree, but the flip side of if is this: If you act like a stranger, you will eventually be treated like a stranger. I didn't want to act possessive when a friend I used to talk to every day started drifting away and ignoring me in favor of newer friends… everyone said to just appreciate our friendship for what it was, even if we grew more distant, and I have done just that. But the end result is we haven't talked in a month now, and it's been months since THEY last initiated conversation or reached out to me for anything, whether to share something or ask me how I was, and honestly, I don't even care anymore. That's the sad part.

The worst part is that on the rare occasion we do still talk (usually because they reply to something I sent them, often weeks later), we enjoy ourselves a lot. I don't think they've stopped enjoying my company or are trying to give me a hint. I think they just can't bring themselves to maintain a friendship with someone they've known for five years when chatting away with their newest friends is shiny and exciting. And I get it, I know how fun it is to hit it off with new people, especially if it's also a new fandom and you're both starry-eyed over a new ship. Sometimes you can spend six hours chatting away into the night with your newest shipping buddy or RP buddy, and your old friend of several years who never got into this particular fandom just can't compete with that.

But I just wish my friend were able and willing to put in the work. That it were possible to keep their interest even if I can't share in their seasonal fandom hops.

I wish I could keep this friendship going, but I'm so tired of having to do it alone.

--

You literally can't do it alone.

And I sympathize, nonnie. You're quite right: friendships are like houseplants. You do have to water them. They're not a pet rock that will be the exact same when you come back to it after a year.

[painsandconfusion]

Anon Ask Lineup!!

I got SO many gorgeous lurker confirmation asks, and wow I love you guys so much. You're way too sweet to me. Ahhhhhhh.

That being said, a lot of you had questions and I said I wouldn't rb those asks, but there were several overlapping ones anyway, so I'm just going to make one biiiiiiiggggggg post answering questions here!

.

How long did I lurk? Six years or so? Longer? I knew I loved whump since I was a little tiny kiddo, but didn't know there was a word for it (I feel like this is a common experience lol), and started following hero x villain things (also a common experience) that eventually lead me to the whump community. I didn't make this blog (well, the same url - it used to be a sideblog and it moved but I'm counting it) about two years ago? But I only started making my own content one year ago.

Have I ever regretted making my blog instead of lurking? Since I started this one? No. But there was a time before where I made a side blog (same url) and started making some whumpy gif sets? And I loved it and was having a nice time with no one knowing or following me, but it was immediately picked up by the kink community instead of this one. While I don't have any problem with that, I felt like I wasn't in the right place and that no one was really listening and I was getting sucked in the wrong direction, so I panicked and deleted the blog. Cut lurking again for two years before making this one.

Was I ever ashamed of whump? Um. Yes. Still kind of am (I'm working on it), but I grew up in a very religious household, and I'm an extremely kind and gentle person irl, so it felt like this horrific denial both of my faith and of myself. I read a post a year and a half ago or so that clarified the difference between fiction and reality for whump, and something about it just made the pieces fit together again for me. It wasn't long after that that I got started making my own content.

How I moved from being a reblogger to a creator? There was one prompt list (here) that I just fell in love with and had a few ideas to continue? So I did. And it got SO many more notes than I expected and I just........fell in love with it? I found I have a knack for prompt lists - much more than gif sets. So I started making prompt lists. They got popular pretty quick. Then I was challenged to do Whumptober, and I did. After that, I felt comfortable starting my own series and doing drabbles and I haven't looked back.

How many irl people know about whump/my blog? Four who I didn't meet through this. I've told three friends and my sister - all of whom took it FAR more gracefully than I expected. While whump isn't their thing, they're incredibly supportive and generally confused why I'm so embarrassed about it. Oops-

Is my whump fixation purely whump, kink, or both? Uhmmmmmmmm....I like whump. I like whump in any context. That bleeds into kink as well. I don't post NSFW things here because a lot of my readers are minors and I genuinely don't trust the tagging system to keep their sweet lovely eyes off the abominations I create asdlkf. But if I'm in an 18+ area where people are chatting, I'm more than willing to discuss it or put out ideas/content. I'm getting more comfortable with it by the day (everyone has hurtles to get over in self-acceptance - that's one of mine).

Do I use whump as an outlet for something else? I know a lot of people have turned to whump to process trauma, but that's not my story. I have loved it since forever, and my ptsd isn't something I ever want to encounter in whump. I have those tags blocked so fucking hard, I don't want to be triggered in my safe space (that's just me - everyone processes differently). But. I do find that it greatly eases my anxiety and nightmares. If I go a week or two without writing or consuming something terrifying, my anxiety doesn't really have an outlet? And it bleeds into dreams. I often have very whumpy dreams, but I don't consider them nightmares, they're just lovely. But the nightmares? Nope. Nuh-uh. Don't want. It's a very small part of why I write, but it's a lovely bonus.

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Whelp I think that's all of them?? Shoot me another ask if I missed one - it wasn't intentions.

Love you all so so much - I'm glad you reached out!

General disclaimer: all these are my own expeiance and do not speak to or dictate in any way how others interact with this community or their pasts - everyone's journey is their own, this one is just mine.