#also i have GOT to develop a faster way of making things like i have so many dumb joke ideas i can’t be rendering shit. unsustainable! 😭��

[ruushes]

sleeping arrangements (not sure tara would ever actually deign to sleep in the same 20ft radius as shovel but who can resist those big shiny insectoid black eyes 🥺)

plus:

[infiniteglitterfall]

know someone who enjoys horror stories? share this one! it's true!

hahahahahahahahahaha aarrggghhhhhhhhhh 3,000,000 deaths due to COVID-19 last year. Globally. Three million. Case rates higher than 90% of the rest of the pandemic. The reason people are still worried about COVID is because it has a way of quietly fucking up your body. And the risk is cumulative.

I'm going to say that again: the risk is cumulative.

It's not just that a lot of people get bad long-term effects from it. One in seven or so? Enough that it's kind of the Russian Roulette of diseases. It's also that the more times you get it, the higher that risk becomes. Like if each time you survived Russian Roulette, the empty chamber was removed from the gun entirely. The worst part is that, psychologically, we have the absolute opposite reaction. If we survive something with no ill effects, we assume it's pretty safe. It is really, really hard to override that sense of, "Ok, well, I got it and now I probably have a lot of immunity and also it wasn't that bad." It is not a respiratory disease. Airborne, yes. Respiratory disease, no: not a cold, not a flu, not RSV.

Like measles (or maybe chickenpox?), it starts with respiratory symptoms. And then it moves to other parts of your body. It seems to target the lungs, the digestive system, the heart, and the brain the most.

It also hits the immune system really hard - a lot of people are suddenly more susceptible to completely unrelated viruses. People get brain fog, migraines, forget things they used to know.

(I really, really hate that it can cross the blood-brain barrier. NOTHING SHOULD EVER CROSS THE BLOOD-BRAIN BARRIER IT IS THERE FOR A REASON.) Anecdotal examples of this shit are horrifying. I've seen people talk about coworkers who've had COVID five or more times, and now their work... just often doesn't make sense? They send emails that say things like, "Sorry, I didn't mean Los Angeles, I meant Los Angeles."

Or they insist they've never heard of some project that they were actually in charge of a year or two before.

Or their work is just kind of falling apart, and they don't seem to be aware of it.

People talk about how they don't want to get the person in trouble, so their team just works around it. Or they describe neighbors and relatives who had COVID repeatedly, were nearly hospitalized, talked about how incredibly sick they felt at the time... and now swear they've only had it once and it wasn't bad, they barely even noticed it.

(As someone who lived with severe dissociation for most of my life, this is a genuinely terrifying idea to me. I've already spent my whole life being like, "but what if I told them that already? but what if I did do that? what if that did happen to me and I just don't remember?") One of its known effects in the brain is to increase impulsivity and risk-taking, which is real fucking convenient honestly. What a fantastic fucking mutation. So happy for it on that one. Yes, please make it seem less important to wear a mask and get vaccinated. I'm not screaming internally at all now.

I saw a tweet from someone last year whose family hadn't had COVID yet, who were still masking in public, including school.

She said that her son was no kind of an athlete. Solidly bottom middle of the pack in gym.

And suddenly, this year, he was absolutely blowing past all the other kids who had to run the mile. He wasn't running any faster. His times weren't fantastic or anything. It's just that the rest of the kids were worse than him now. For some reason. I think about that a lot. (Like my incredibly active six-year-old getting a cold, and suddenly developing post-viral asthma that looked like pneumonia.

He went back to school the day before yesterday, after being home for a month and using preventative inhalers for almost week.

He told me that it was GREAT - except that he couldn't run as much at recess, because he immediately got really tired. Like how I went outside with him to do some yard work and felt like my body couldn't figure out how to increase breathing and heart rate.

I wasn't physically out of breath, but I felt like I was out of breath. That COVID feeling people describe, of "I'm not getting enough air." Except that I didn't have that problem when I had COVID.) Some people don't observe any long (or medium) term side effects after they have it.

But researchers have found viral reservoirs of COVID-19 in everyone they've studied who had it.

It just seems to hang out, dormant, for... well, longer than we've had an opportunity to observe it, so far.

(I definitely watched that literal horror movie. I think that's an entire genre. The alien dormant under ice in the Arctic.)

(oh hey I don't like that either!!!!!!!!!) All of which is to explain why we should still care about avoiding it, and how it manages to still cause excess deaths. Measuring excess deaths has been a standard tool in public health for a long time.

We know how many people usually die from all different causes, every year. So we can tell if, for example, deaths from heart disease have gone way up in the past three years, and look for reasons. Those are excess deaths: deaths that, four years ago, would not have happened. During the pandemic, excess death rates have been a really important tool. For all sorts of reasons. Like, sometimes people die from COVID without ever getting tested, and the official cause is listed as something else because nobody knows they had COVID. But also, people are dying from cardiovascular illness much younger now.

People are having strokes and heart attacks younger, and more often, than they did before the pandemic started. COVID causes a lot of problems. And some of those problems kill people. And some of them make it easier for other things to kill us. Lung damage from COVID leading to lungs collapsing, or to pneumonia, or to a pulmonary embolism, for example. The Economist built a machine-learning model with a 95% confidence interval that gauges excess death statistics around the world, to tell them what the true toll of the ongoing COVID pandemic has been so far.

Total excess deaths globally in 2023: Three million.

3,000,000.

Official COVID-19 deaths globally so far: Seven million. 7,000,000. Total excess deaths during COVID so far: Thirty-five point two million. 35,200,000.

Five times as many.

That's bad. I don't like that at all. I'm glad last year was less than a tenth of that. I'm not particularly confident about that continuing, though, because last year we started a period of really high COVID transmission. Case rates higher than 90% of the rest of the pandemic. Here's their data, and charts you can play with, and links to detailed information on how they did all of this:

Here's a non-paywalled link to it:

https://archive.vn/2024.01.26-012536/https://www.economist.com/graphic-detail/coronavirus-excess-deaths-estimates

Oh: here's a link to where you can buy comfy, effective N95 masks in all sizes:

Those ones are about a buck each after shipping - about $30 for a box of 30. They also have sample packs for a dollar, so you can try a couple of different sizes and styles.

You can wear an N95 mask for about 40 total hours before the effectiveness really drops, so that's like a dollar for a week of wear.

They're also family-owned and have cat-shaped masks and I really love them. These ones are cuter and in a much wider range of colors, prints, and styles, but they're also more expensive; they range from $1.80 to $3 for a mask. ($18-$30 for a box of ten.)

[hidtired]

Love Burns

(Daryl Dixon x Reader) Masterlist

Description: Some way somehow you crawled your way back from death. All to get back into the arms of one man. Daryl and the rest of the group were taking your death hard, your death was gruesome. So your disheveled arrival back to them was unfathomable… (Duel POVs)

6.1k words

Fall felt like winter. In a place made of concrete it was decided something needed to be done before winter truly came. The prison still needed a lot of work but with the new people of Woodbury things were getting done a lot faster. Only thing lacking was supplies. So a team was round up to go to a near hardware warehouse. Glenn, Maggie, Rick, Daryl, You, Carol, Sasha, Tyrese, and a few Ex Woodbury people headed out for as much as they all could carry. It was Hershel who suggested that this was dire because someone could get sick and that was supplies we just couldn’t spare. So… this wasn’t all for nothing. This run was the greater good for the prison. Even if it all went wrong by dusk. Even if it cost your life.

Almost all the cars had been full of things. It was decided to send a few of the new people back to empty their trucks and comeback. The chill was numbing everyone’s hands as they moved things back and forth. A fire was started inside the chain link fence. The U haul parked close to it to blocked the wind. Daryl had taken his bike, the psycho. But you had to admit the leather jacket he now wore looked good on him. You and Daryl, still no label but something was there. If the time spent cuddling him every chance you got inside the cellblock said anything. Always using the excuse you were cold, which wasn’t wrong. You’ve both kissed but that had happened only a few times. The only reason you had both gotten so close was the time spent after the farm fell.

It was decided in your mind after this run you would put all your card on the table. So while you were in the warehouse grabbing future farm tools Daryl walked past you making you turn and speak, “Hey, wanna share what little whiskey I have left when we get back.” Daryl turned a small smirk barely noticeably, he grunted before speaking, “Bring out booze? Must be a special occasion.” You glance away then back to him, gathering courage, “Just thought maybe it was about time we talked.” You smiled and walked past him with your head held high mimicking confidence. Little did you know you made the hair on the back of his neck stand and his heart beat just that much faster.

Finally dusk was fast approaching and everyone was gathered around the fire discussing before getting ready to leave. You sat staring into the fire half listening to the chatter of everyone. You had your arms around yourself trying to stop the wind. You were playing out things in your mind to say to Daryl. Trying to develop a way to get your feelings across. Strange how things escalate to life or death. Your peaceful gaze into the now hot coals was interrupted with sounds of gun shots drowned with screams and sounds of the dead marching. It was damn unlucky to have had two herds merge into each other at the warehouse. It was frantic but quick. You had been left to put of the fires. You had waited by the last smoldering one to beat the cold before all of you departed. When the gun fire and screams started you hadn’t thought to look behind you with all the action in front of you.

You heard a thunk before you felt something fall on top of you pulling you to the ground by your legs. You kicked and thrashed killing the walker that snuck up on you. However you noticed a wave of walkers now pulled down a part of the fence with their eyes dead set on you. A few slipping out of through holes in the fence. You unhooked your side arm from its place on your thigh. Pulling the knife you apparently stuck into the walker that jumped you. You look all around you trying to navigate options. But the situation that had originally got your attention also seemed to escalate with another wave of walkers come from every direction. That’s when your awareness made you freeze all together. A pain to your side close to your back. Lifting the layers of your cloths a mark of teeth bleed.

You had been bite.

Ice filled your veins, fear. Your grip tightened on your weapons. You stare as walkers closed the distance. Your name rung in your ears. Daryl scream for your attention, you slowly turned to him. He was a distance away behind a fence with others who seemed to escape the first wave they’d met. Even if you hadn’t been bite to may blocked your way to run into any means of safety. Daryl waved his hands trying beckon you to run to him. He looked like he was going to jump the already bending fence to get to you. Other faces you recognized to be the family you had found yelling in panic along with Daryl’s. You slowly pulled your shirt turning to them. Blood ran down dripping into your pants from the deathly injury. Others seeming to realize what had happened.

“NOOOOOOO!”

The pained yell Daryl had ripped out from himself being followed by the snapping fence falling to the pressure of the herd. Daryl still stood even with the danger coming to him, Rick clearly holding him back with Glenn running over to help drag him away. You smiled at Daryl some tears running down your face, probably the last Daryl will see it as his face disappeared from your sight. You turned around to the herd closer to you. A few walkers had gotten closer to you than you thought. This was your last stand. You fired gunshot after gunshot while managing to kill some with your knife. You tripped on one of the bodys you had put down. You fell expecting to quickly get back up and continue your count down to death bringing any dead bastard with you. But a flare of unexpected pain at your landing made a blood curdling scream vibrate into the air. You had landed into the fire pit. Hot coals with little flame burning you. Ambers exploding around you with your fall. Your open wound on your side sizzles adding more pain to the specific area. You instinctively jumped up away from the pit. Groaning while you forced yourself to stand vision blurred and legs wobbling.

It’s funny… to know you’re about to die. You could never imagine the things to go through your mind until it happens. Your past didn’t flash before your eyes. More thoughts of the future. How will people take your death? Maybe If this didn’t happen then how would you fit into there future. What if you had that drink with Daryl… That pushed you to now. Right now. You woke up. Groggy cold and numb. The smell of death strong. You weren’t sure if maybe you were a walker maybe it was all a dream.

The haze lifted with a spike of your adrenaline as your eyes focus. A walker close to your face with your knife jammed into its head. A gasp filled your lungs, you weren’t dead? You were lying on your stomach under the U haul nearly freezing. The body of walkers all around you seemed to be your insulation. You take in the scene around you, then you do the only logical thing, cry. A sob ripped from you, tears streaming down your now dirt covered face that was laying in the dirt. You were scared, in pain, and alone. It seemed like the only thing you could really do and have the mind to do. In the small gaps that walkers didn’t cover a slight glow came. You pushed through the body’s crawling between them until fresh air hit you. Dark gray clouds hung above you.

The night had passed while you were under the truck. You caught sight of the littered bodys around the area. It was quiet. Not a soul or other wise empty vessel around. You attempted to stand but fell when you became light headed and unbalanced. Another attempt had lead you slowly to your feet. You were covered in dirt. You could only think you were rolling around in it while keeping walkers away from you under the car. The longer you were awake the more you came back to yourself. A hand slowly moved to your forehead. You were cold but shouldn’t you have a fever by now? At the thought you moved some of the fabric from your bite only stopping when your cloths were singed to your body. Were the bite was now was left with a deep embedded scorch marks. Coals had seemed to burned you up to your shoulder and down to your hip on you left side.

The sight of it made you gag but you couldn’t feel a thing from it. The burns must have destroyed the nerves. If the infection of being bite wasn’t going to kill you the infection sure to come from this wound would. A flare of life filled you. A broken chuckle passed your lips filling the dead silence. You need Hershel badly and soon if you wanted a chance to live. A chance was better than what you had thought. You slowly turn around to the U hale in hopes you could drive it back but the tires were blown and a rainbow like liquid had formed a puddle. You probably shot at walkers while under there damaging the car. Like damaging the gas tank and somehow not exploding so you’ll take that win. No that meant you just had to walk several miles back to the prison. Suddenly you remembered you weren’t bond to the roads so maybe you were closer then you thought.

So you took off north into the woods, hopeful and better yet alive.

Daryl POV

Of course nothing ever goes smoothly and this damn run was no exception. It was so close, they were all packed and ready to go. A herd coming didn’t seem like a big deal just alerting them there was no time to dilly dally. So after killing a few and saving people who got surprised by it they stood behind a chain fences that wasn’t going to hold for long the more that pushed against it. Daryl’s eyes flickered to everyone behind the fence. Panic now felt when his eyes didn’t meet yours. He turned back around frantically until he say you standing facing what looked to be another herd. His eyes widened and your name was flying out of his mouth before he even knew he was doing it. You just stood there, not even in a defensive posture, just casually. Your head turned to meet his after hearing him.

Tears ran down your face but your face remained to looked shocked. Maybe you froze in panic so he gestured for you to come quickly but you didn’t move. Soon others joined in calling for you. But when you moved and lifted your shirt he felt like he was sinking. Blood dripped down your side and teeth were imprinted in your skin. His eyes flicked back up to yours to see you smiling at him. He was screaming and moving without a thought.

“NOOOOOOOO!”

A hand grabbed his shirt and then the fence in front of them fell. He still tried moving forward even then but other sets of hands now pulled him backwards. He grunted and gasped still looking at you as he was moved away. The smile on your face directed at him. The look in your eyes saying so many words that he didn’t have the time to decipher in the moment. He didn’t know the words coming from his mouth but he was yelling. For whoever holding him to let him help you in curses and cry’s. When he lost sight of you is when he faltered. More people seemed to be dragging him now. A gunshot went off making him jump in his skin along with the others around him. Sound now processing in his ears. Maggie sobbing along with muffled crying from others.

Everyone had assumed that gunshot was you giving yourself mercy. Then more came making him start dragging his heels again. You were fighting, you were bring some of the herd on them back to you. He was going to fight to get to you. But he froze along with the people clawing him backwards. You were screaming. No you were dying and they all were hearing it. It was guttural and sudden like you were surprised. He was yelling in tears now, “NOOO PLEASE-“ his words jumping starting people again to pull him away. Your pained cries fading when he was pulled into a car. Tyrese was the one locking him in place. Rick driving with Michonne in the passenger side leaning over like she was going to be sick.

Daryl was now desperate to grab air in his lungs as has he went limp in Tyrese grasp. His gasps filled with the now humming engine felt like he was spiraling. Sounds muffled and thoughts racing. ‘Just thought maybe it was about time we talked.’ The feeling from the words originally was like butterflies, now it was hornets. You always wiggled your away into his arms. Excuses of ‘it’s cold.’ or ‘But you’re always so warm.’ He knew for some reason you had taken interest in him. You had lit some dumb teenage feeling in him. Thoughts of you always crossing his mind throughout the day. Hopes of you trying to make your way into his space later in the day. The first time you fell asleep on him was when you crawled in his lap during watch and shivered endlessly while he held you. He continued to watch gaze flickering through trees while holding you and he knew deep down he was screwed.

The fear that kept him away and doubting had come true. He watched trees go by through the window in silence. Tyrese still holding him as he was lying across the seats. Like he would jump out the moving vehicle if given the chance. Even though he didn’t act on his feeling he had still loved you. He felt cold inside. The cold that would have drawn you to him. He will never hold you to him again. His hands trembled to his face and covered his eyes. Your screams echoing in his mind, your sad loving smile played into his mind. His palms dug into his eyes and he cried. His tears breaking seemed to trigger those around him. He heard Rick holding his breath as he sniffled. Michonne would occasionally suck in a gasp. Tyrese trembled with sighs and coughs trying to break the growing ball in his throat.

Eventually making it back to the prison Carl swung the gate open happily for two cars and Carol riding on Daryl’s bike. The unsuspecting grief hadn’t reached the prison but when they got out of the cars it was felt in waves. They were still seemed lost in thoughts, or lost in a moment. Carl looked on to his father who held is head down and hands on his hips. Maggie making her way to her father and cried silently when he hugged her with Glenn close by eyebrows furrowed in pain. When looking at Daryl it was clear to who they lost. He was stock still and pale, in shock. Hershel practically herded them into the cell block. Carol tried to come near him while walking there but he just shock his head and pushed past her.

They sat in silence sitting at the tables they had their breakfast just this morning. Daryl leaned on the wall keeping his distance. Rick was standing and looking on to everyone hunched in to themselves. Judith in his arms was probably the only reason Daryl didn’t go into a berserk rage. Though when Rick started retelling what had happened to the other that weren’t there he was gettin close to it. Nails digging into his palms and teeth clenched he still listened.

“Y/n’s gone… We were just about ready to go when a herd spooked us.” Rick sighed now looking to everyone’s face. “We had gotten behind a fence and Y/N was putting fires out…” Beth had clear tears now growing in her eyes as she listened. “We think a separate herd flanked us but we were so busy with the first to notice. She was across from us with a herd closing in from behind and in front of her. She could have possibly made it… if-“ he cleared is throat starting again. “If she didn’t lift her shirt showing us she was already doomed. I don’t know when or how, but she was bite.” Rick paused then chuckled wetly, “She had to go out being a badass, could hear it in my mind ‘Was it cool at least?’ Always theatrics with that one.” The thought bubbles in Daryl’s stomach, ‘she always said if she was ever going out it was in a blaze of glory, nothing “lame”.’ Daryl leaned forward off the wall moving to pass by everyone. Everyone had stilled at his movement but he just walked into the cell block.

He needed a minute, to cope, scream, cry, yell, he didn’t know but he felt like he was dying. He found his way up the stairs and pushing past the stupid Dino sheets you chose for your room. ‘They’re not ugly! We have a lot more in common with are extinct friends now. Though I would have preferred a meteor…’ He stared at everything that had been left where you had it. He stumbled to sit on the edge of your bed looking around. You had so many weird thing… you were so weird. A now deflated happy birthday ballon he remembered you yelling, ‘JACKPOT’ when you found it scavenging. Then his eyes locked onto a bottle of whiskey. It was not even half full but when he saw it tears started falling quietly. He picked it up and held it to his chest.

“Just thought maybe it was about time we talked.” That sentence would haunt him forever.

Your POV

You groaned like the dead as you made your way through the woods. Speaking of the dead they didn’t much notice you. That had made you spiral in the whole am I really a walker?! But then you remember you were covered in dirt and blood and walking like you had a few to many. You were starting to feel warm putting you into a cold sweat. It was hard to not think that maybe the bite was still going to kill you. You had burnt it with the rest of your back to hell. You probably look like you crawled out from hell. The thought made you dazily laugh out loud. Ok so maybe you were delirious. If that manic laugh that bubbled from you wasn’t any indication. You weren’t thinking straight. Only moving in the direction you think is to the prison? God you could go for some pasta right about now, Olive Garden salad and bread sticks… damn. Little mint at the end. You trip out of your thoughts slamming into the forest floor with a groan.

It had snapped you back into a clearer head space. Your vision swam a little but you started to push yourself back up. So turns out your near death thoughts weren’t as epic as you thought they were going to be, just bread sticks and mints. You sighed looking around trying to gain your bearings. You could hear some water to your right meaning you were indeed going the right way. Just 20 more minutes and you were back to the prison. You wonder if you could have had a dinner date with Daryl. I suppose you still could if you didn’t die. The poor man had tried running into a herd for you. You were getting more unbalanced as you walked leaning from tree to tree. Wood splitting and jamming into your hands, only adding to a list of injures. The worst part was you didn’t feel much of anything pain wise. The cold numbed you and your lack of cognitive ability was no better help.

The stream broke off flowing into the direction of the prison. You saw the bridge that held the water pump before the prison. You somehow managed to get back here. The prison was still quieter than normal. You could see closer to the gate a few people were clearing walkers, vision to bleary to know who. A thunk sounded coming into the middle of the inclosed clearing. Rick was cutting wood with Carl moving logs for him to cut. Slowly making your way to the fence you didn’t realize your throat was so scratchy, nothing but a huff of air coming out. That’s right, you had been screaming…. and crying. You lean into the fence hands intertwined with the cool dewy metal.

A walker was pushed against the fence to your right staring to Rick and Carl too. You slowly push down to the floor grabbing a stick. You pushed back up using the fence to walk closer to the walker. Taking a deep breath you kicked the back of the walkers legs making it fall to its knees. The walker grumbled in shock or protest but it was silence with the stick shoved in its eyes. The constant noise of the walker was acknowledged by the Grimes so when it abruptly stopped they looked over to where it was. You were leaning into the side of the fence as you heard feet approaching, “Who are- Holy shit!” You heard them running and the sound got farther from you. The heavy gate door grunted open and the running sound came back toward you. You tried moving along the fence, tripping yet again on the walker, this time only to your knees.

A shadow fell over you causing you to look up seeing Rick kneeling in front of you, hands moving to pull you up. Your adrenaline was dropping now that the task you set for yourself was complete. The fall made your head swim, voices now muffled as blood pulled into your head. You saw Rick talking but didn’t comprehend anything he said. He soon pointed at Carl and your eyes moved over to the boy. Walkers had made their way out of the woods at the commotion. You suddenly were being jostled now. Rick had put an arm to the back of your shoulders and his other arm to the back of your knees and lifted you into him. You were slightly over Rick’s shoulder as he quickly moved. Then you realized what Rick was yelling.

“HERSHEL! HERSHEL! HERSHEL!”

That was right, you wanted Hershel to help you… help you? What for again? Your mind clicked as you watched the door of the gate close behind you. Some faces now appeared as Rick continued to carry while trying not to dig his hands into your injury. You had been injured, right. Some looks you caught while over Rick shoulder was nothing you’ve seen direct at yourself. The group formed shuffling to the gate to get into the court yard. You recognized Maggie gasping and her saying, “Oh my god is she alive?! H-how?” You rumbled out a deep noise. “Cause I’m a badass.” You were becoming slack and your vision was blurring. You were trying to remain awake. Maybe for the face you so desperately wanted to see, and the other part of you was afraid you wouldn’t wake back up. But at last you involuntarily relaxed as you heard him, “Y/N!” His voice was pained and dry, but it sent a smile to your face before you went still as Rick continued moving you.

Daryl POV

He fell asleep in your bed. Selfishly taking in what little smell was left of your space. The whiskey bottle was held to his chest untouched. He kept waking up ever hour. He felt wrong like something was missing. His body knew that you weren’t with him and it made him restless. He would think about your screams feeling like he still heard them. He would play back random moments with you. He just couldn’t seem to move. Stuck laying down holding the bottle you both were going to share, stuck going in and out of consciousness. He was depressed he realized. It was the norm for his sadness to spark rage but he just felt defeated. With Merle he got angry, upset even. But he could still move. His world was still moving then but now he wasn’t sure how it kept spinning with you gone.

Everyone was already moving through the day doing tasks that needed to be completed. He heard the shuffles and whispers of his friends- his family. He would hear someone’s breath hitch while talking about you. He was left alone with Glenn being the one saying, “Leave the man alone.” With other things like, ‘when Lori died-‘ or, ‘if it had been Maggie I’d be the same.’ He would thank the man on another day. So here he is still, morning coming to pass, in your bed staring at the ceiling. He tried to not think about how you might be a walker wondering or even worse your body was still there. He would have to push himself up to that. But the silence around the prison seemed to have broke.

The heavy door that lead in from out doors slammed opened and a panicked Maggie nervously yelled for her father. “D-Daddy somethings wrong Rick’s yelling for you!” Daryl’s hearing perked up feeling the pit in his stomach drop further. Dread seeping into him, ‘Another bad thing was happening.’ He heard the clicking of Hershel’s crutch’s as he moved through the door that Maggie’s had burst through. Daryl squeezed his eyes shut before sucking in a breath in and huffing it out. He got up.

He got to his feet moving down the stairs buzzing with adrenaline. Not sure if he was going to have to protect people or kill someone. As Daryl pushed through the metal door to the court yard an icy wind blew through him. The hair on the back of his neck stood. He turned over to the commotion gathering by the gate to the yard. Scanning the area he didn’t see danger so he made his way over to the group. “Oh my god is she alive?! H-how?” Daryl’s eyebrows furrowed as he got closer over hearing people now.

“Cause I’m a badass.”

Although the voice was deep and scratchy he froze at the familiar voice. He only paused for a moment before he started running the rest of the way there, “Y/N!” His voice was slightly harsh with dis use and the ball of tension in his throat didn’t help much either. You were being held up in a weird way by Rick but you sluggish turned drooping slightly as you did. When your eyes met you smiled but it slowly fell as you went slack. Rick was moving again with the demands of Hershel yelling orders to Carol and Maggie to gather things. Daryl saw your cloths, burnt holes and black and red covered you. Your skin stuck sticking to fabric as deep char marks riddled your back and side. He was speechless as the group passed him but he still followed. Maybe he fell asleep again and was dreaming all this.

“I need disinfectant and a bucket of clean water!”

Rick had set you down on your stomach in an unused cell. Your arm dangled over edge swaying. He stood the watching in shock. People were scrambling around him. He didn’t realize he had gotten the bottle still in his hands before he looked down and walked over practically shoving it into the man’s arms. Daryl was wide eyed as he watched your still form, “Daryl I need you to cut off her clothes. Be careful of her shirt.” A hand clasped to his shoulder finally clicking everything into place. His hand had moved for his knife and he slowly cut down right side on a seam. He slowly plead the shirt from you. It would stick then tug and pull off of you making him cringe. Hershel started talking again as Daryl moved to pull down your jeans.

“You said she was bite?” Daryl let your pants fall to the floor as he looked back up to the side he had seen it. Your entire side was indented and black. Some black circles were higher up to your shoulders as your enter left side seemed to have taken most of the burns. He pointed to were he had last saw the bite. “It was here- shit she fell into the fire pit.” The screams he heard played back into his mind. The pain and surprise that had ripped from you. Hershel now with a cloth and water started cleaning the area removing the grim, “That means she might have stopped the spread of the infection with how deep these burns are.” Hershel paused looking over her body. He then put a hand to your forehead, “She’s warm but not feverish…” Hershel grabbed the bottle of whiskey again turning to Daryl and popping the lid of,

“Get out of here Daryl. Maggie! Carol! I need hands!”

He watched as the two girls push past him and before he was out of sight from you saw Hershel dump some of the alcohol onto the area. He stepped out turning to see worried and confused faces. They stared at him silently with the background noise of Hershel making demands of his helpers. Sasha almost whispered her question to him, "How is she still alive?" Everyone turned to her before looking at him expectantly as the wondered the same. Daryl looked like he was visibly thinking before he sighed, "I don't know. She fell in the fireplace is all I know." Rick looked to the floor nodding thinking back to when he first saw you and struggled to pick you up around what looked to be burns. Daryl spoke again almost hopefully, "Hershel thinks there's a chance she stop the infection from spreading with how deep the burns are."

Hopeful gasps filled the air. Carl was the next to speak almost as a demand, "Then we going to use all are medical supplies we've got if there is a chance." Rick whispered, "Carl..." but Beth jumped in. "W-we have it for reasons like these! I know she is technically bite but we have no clue if she stopped it, its worth splurging to see if this could save others!" Rick looked surprised at the outburst mouth opening about to speak before Glenn jumped in also pleading to him, "Well find more!" Other silently agreeing and nodding. Daryl looked between the group so determined about your life smirking at it even but, he knew what Rick was trying to say. Sure enough the man had chuckled shacking his head, "Why are you all looking at me for, I'm not the leader anymore. This is a matter for the council. But I think that decision has already been made." It had only started not to long ago with Rick being the stand in while everyone settled on who the council consisted of. Michonne clapped her hands together, "Right is has been settled then, what ever cost to keep her alive." It was a waiting game now.

Days pass with the prison fueled with a hope. The once depressive air had lifted once Hershel declared you stable and with no fever. It was determined until a day later with still no fever you were not infected. The only problem now way you had yet to wake up. The girls had cleaned you of all the caked on dirt from your skin and hair they best they could with you unconscious and your injury. Daryl with any of his free time was by your side. He even took to sleeping in the bunk above you. He changed your bandage most of the time. You were on the your third IV by the 5th day. Daryl had a chair pulled by your side as he fiddled with his crossbow and bolts, your steady breathing having a calming effect on him. The breathing pattern faltered for a second making him look up to you. He stared for a moment before you seemed to grunt in pain. The hair was rising on the back of his neck. Hazy eyes open and your cuffed hand attempted to move but was halted by it be attached to the metal bed frame in the wall.

Daryl felt his heart race as he watched you slowly and groggily start moving. He reached to stopping your hand from moving with his own. "Hey, stay down." You groaned pain probably hitting you finally making Daryl call for Hershal. The clicking of crutch’s came closer but he looked back down to you at your sudden silence. Your eyes met with his and in that moment you saw straight into his soul making him feel exposed. All his nerves seemed to stand on end with your quiet gaze. A small smile creeping it way on your face. Daryl leaned down moving some hair from your face as you remained on your stomach. When he was crouched closer to you he whispered, “Hey darlin’…” You huffed out air and a tear ran down your cheek. He was smiling down at you feeling the weight of deaths grip finally releasing you back to him.

Hershel broke the moment but he never stopped holding your hand as the older man fussed over you. Your voice was rough to say the least. He winched at your first attempt at using it. “iM aLivE…?” Daryl squeezed your hand and the ball in his throat suck to his chest as he let out a chuckle. You seemed just as surprised of the fact just like them. You hissed before flinching forcibly relaxing your muscles but you still spoke again, “tHe BiTe?” Hershel had moved injecting something in your IV bag, pain killers hopefully. Your eyes barely following the movement as Hershel spoke calmly with a smile, “You’ve been out for a few days. No fever. We are working on the burns because they are festering but blistering. You killed the infection.” Your eyes squeezed shut and you sniffled a little tears poured from your eyes in relief. Daryl couldn’t help for his eyes to blur a little to. A hand fell to his shoulder, Hershel. “Her blood pressure is still low so keep her lying down. Try and fed her something small for now until she is up right.”

With that he hobbled away probably going to spread the good news that you are up. His attention snapped back to you when he heard a faint whisper of his name, “daryl.” You had a dopey grin as you stare up at him making the knotted ball in his stomach loosen. You smile falter and a harsh sounding, “woOaH-“ your eyes blinking like your vision got blurry. He intertwined his fingers behind yours as he keyed open the cuffs. “goDdaMn…. HaRdcorE dRugS hEllo~” Daryl chuckled seeing you sag in relief. Your eyes moved to something behind him a long, “hEeeY…” your lips pouting. He turned around questioningly at what you were staring at. The bottle of now empty whiskey, aah. He turned back to you running his free hand into your hair, “Don’t look at me I didn’t drink it.” You stare at the bottle softly saying, “How wiLl I woe a DiXon nOw?”

Daryl sighs feeling that ever burning in his chest when it comes to you. “Don’t think you need to worry to much about that, think he is beyond woed.” You dawn a familiar smirk he knows means trouble. ‘Mmm’ vibrates from your chest, “Good… been really laying it on thick as of late. Hell crawled back from death for the guy.” Your voice seemed to not rattle in your hushed tone. You seemed to struggle to keep your eyes open and focus you spoke once more before closing your eyes and falling to drugs and exhaustion, “So much for not using the med supply like Hershel said…”

Love burns with either the loss of them or the fact they exist in the first place, but you would say the fireplace hurt a tad bit more than loving your gruff hunter.

Feedback welcome and requests open!

[clonerightsagenda]

May I ask what the 'no sex in space' rant is? Zero G sounds like fun :<

The space sex rant is my passion. Possibly because I have no emotional investment in the act so when it gets broken down into weird biology and mechanics by the cruel forces of physics, I find it kind of fascinating.

Sticking this below the cut because it will get long. My primary source is Packing for Mars by Mary Roach, but A City on Mars gets into the same issues. Yes, at least two books have entire chapters devoted to the space sex problem.

Note that this is all assuming microgravity. Many of the problems go away if you have artificial gravity, which we haven't cracked yet beyond building centrifuges. Your Star Trek fanfics are safe. So without further ado, and in no particular order, reasons why you probably shouldn't have sex in zero gravity and it probably wouldn't be that fun if you did:

The infamous 'no boners in space'. Since we're evolved to live in gravity, our bodies compensate for it by putting more effort into getting fluids above our heart. In microgravity, that's unnecessary, so you end up with fluid shift - more fluids, including blood, in the upper body. Your total blood volume also goes down. This would make an erection more difficult, and in fact most astronauts interviewed for whom this would be relevant claimed they didn't get any. The outlier here is Mike Mullane, but having read his memoir, he is the kind of guy who would lie about that. Now, as I touched on while despairingly liveblogging Barrayar, that does not prevent you from having a good time. However less blood flow would presumably mean less sensation in general for anyone below the belt. Or if you stimulated too much blood flow, with the lower total blood volume, perhaps that 'got dizzy because I got horny' joke will actually come true.

In microgravity, body heat and CO2 don't disperse the same way they do in regular atmosphere. Astronauts have to make sure they sleep in well-ventilated areas and are also trained on symptoms of CO2 poisoning. If multiple people are in an area exerting themselves, that buildup will happen faster and would need to be taken into account. It would be super embarrassing to suffocate crammed into a closet for some hanky panky.

The laws of motion are not your friend here. I've seen videos of astronauts pushing themselves across the room with a strand of hair. If you're trying to hold onto someone, you'd either want a relatively small space (maybe not a great idea, see point 2) or hold on really well. One astronaut Mary Roach interviewed suggested duct tape. Perhaps fuzzy handcuffs are critical here. Still you're going to need to put a lot of thought into every move you make.

Space is gross. :( Right now astronauts just wipe themselves down with clothes and dry shampoo. "Skin flakes" is a serious problem. Also we're still not entirely sure why, but astronauts develop awful body odor. According to Mary Roach again, while armpits are famous as a BO source, apparently the crotch is as well, it's just that those regions are typically further from our nose. So idk if anyone's going to want to get that close and personal with anyone else while they're up there. Then again I'm sure people have hooked up in grosser situations.

I'm probably forgetting some tidbits since I just woke up, but in summary, zero gravity sex would need to be carefully choreographed, require some equipment (fan, fasteners), and probably wouldn't even be as enjoyable as its Earthnorm counterpart. It's a good thing that's not what anyone's up there for.

[dropsnectar]

Pollen and Potions: Bee-men x afab!reader

PART TWO

Some fluff and a little spice. Don't know if ill do the smut in part three or four, we will see how things develop. Either way it gets hot so! You were warned!

You woke up the next morning with a huge headache. Not a great start to a day where you were scheduled to do large batches of magic.

You swore as you got up, swore as you made your coffee, swore as you did some last minute rereading of the soil testing spell you already knew by heart.

You tried to nap, but couldn't get your sore muscles to relax, so Lyith found you in quite a disgruntled mood. He frowned.

“We can do this tomorrow if you are not feeling well. You smell like you are about to throw a fit.”

You shook your head and took a long, cleansing breath.

“I'm really fine. Im excited about meeting your friend though. Its not everyday you meet a Bee-man.” You cracked a small smile.

Lyith gave you one last appraising look before sighing and beckoning you out of the house. Once you were on the porch step he held out his arms. You stared at him, eyes raised.

“Uh, do you want another hug? For support or something?”

His nose flared and he seemed to be failing to keep a straight face.

“It'll be faster to fly you to the hive. Its a good five mile walk for you if we don't. And with so much to do, I doubt my friend is going to be patient with us.”

You blinked.

“Oh. Um. Okay.” Your heart tightened. You started to feel a little sick.

“If you are scared of heights, I will stay close to the ground. It is faster that way anyway.”

He reached forward and patted your head affectionately. “I don't have to dodge branches that way, so it is a… “win win”? That's how the saying goes, right?”

His hand stayed on your head and you had to admit it made you feel a little braver. His smile was so gentle, it sent a wave of calm through you. 

“Yeah I can do that.” You swallow and force the ends of your lips upwards. 

Lyith holds his arms out again, and you walk into them, letting him hoist you up, and take off. The sound of his wings were particularly loud now and you noticed it had a habit of spreading his lemony scent around. 

You quickly diverted your attention to the feeling of the wind stretching back your skin. Which only made you realize that Lyith had nuzzled his neck close to your own face. You had to admit that the warmth felt nice against the cold spring air. It may have been Lyiths own way of making sure you didn't freeze too much. Your mind lingered on his touch, which was acting like a scarf, in the face of rollercoaster-like winds. Your stomach turned.

It was only 6 minutes until Lyith dropped you off in a small glade. The clearings floor was covered in grasses and large orange flowers. The flowers themselves were funnel shaped with purple star like splotches in the middle. The air was fragrant. 

Lyith grabbed your arm gently. Out from the other side of the clearing came what could only be another bee-man. Lyiths face lit up and he floated upwards, making a few excitable jerking motions. The other Bee-men copied his motions and let out a lovely hum sound, which Lyith harmonized. The two both looked at you and Lyith started the introductions.

“This is the witch I was talking about. And this-” he gestured to the bee-man by giving them a clingy hug. “-is Rena. She is a scholar, and also looks after a quarter of these… gardens, is the term you use. She has given you permission to use magic in her garden.”

“Only if you show me you can help, that is. Witches are so rare these days. I have to measure your…” she seemed to be chewing the word, “Qual-it-ications?”

“Qualifications.” Corrected Lyith, adjust some Rena's long strawberry blond hair. She had the same big black eyes as Lyith, but her form was shorter. Sturdier. But just as fluffy. Unlike Lyith, she had a second pair of hands, which she had crossed over her chest. Her gaze was curious, but her nose was slightly wrinkled in concern.

“Lyith speaks human the best of us. You are lucky to have met such a good orator. Now. What is it that you exactly plan to do?” her voice was deep and textured, as she jutted out her jaw.

You paused for a moment and held up a hand. You rummaged through your bag and pulled out some twine and popsicle sticks.

Lyith bit his lip like he was trying not to smile. Rena laughed openly. “You wish to do an art project?”

“No. If we are going to do this right, we need to be careful. I want to do experiments. First, we section three groups of flowers far away from each other so as not to contaminate eachotger. We use the twine and sticks to section those area off. Then, we do one group for the quick-grow powder, one group for the fertility spell, and one group of both. We will then keep track of them, and you guys will see which one keeps the most magic. You guys can tell magic quality by taste right?”

Rena nodded back at you, her expression a bit surprised. You continue.

“Ideally, we would have four different glens of these same flowers to compare. I'm not sure if the magic will be affected by rainwater. But I feel like it's a solid idea. Whichever works better for nectar quality, is what I'll use in case of emergency. If the fertility spell works properly, I can then help you guys grow your fields. But we wanna make sure that my magic is compatible with the flowers and your guyses nectar. I don't wanna accidentally poison you guys or something.” You scratch the back of your head awkwardly.

Lyith smiled over at Rena, who was nodding as she seemed to be thinking.

“Tell you what, ill give you two glens. One for your powder, one for the fertility spell. At one end of the both the glens you can do both. Sound good?”

You smiled. “Fantastic.”

From their, the three of you got to work sectioning off the ends of the glade. Rena herself flew off and sectioned the other glade herself, while you tested the soil. After the third time of getting the same reading, you calculated your powder amount. It was very important to get the amounts right. If you got it wrong, they would get one huge flower, and a comatose witch all at once. 

You did your spell, and it seemed to work, a more potent smell sweeping through the clearing. You continued your work, taking your time to channel your power as not to stress yourself out and mess with results. You were flown to the other glen, and did your thing. 

When you were finished, one clearings wildflowers had grown their reach twice as far, and the other flowers had grown to be the size of a human head. But it was the combination spell that really seemed to excite Rena. The flower's hue had changed from mostly orange, to mostly purple, and the scent had shifted to something headier.

“These more closely resemble the flowers of old! And they smell perfectly nutritious!”

Lyith chirped in. “The real test is to see how they will age. We don't know how long the magic will last. If the soil will breed more.”

You smile. “Thats what the experiments for. We wait, and each week you tell me if the magic quality has gone down.” 

Admiring the flowers, Rena grabbed one and flew towards you. She put the flower in your hands, then motioned to you as if it was a teacup. “Drink.”

Experimentally you tipped the flower to your mouth. A hint of nectar trickled in. It was sweet, but unlike your normal honeysuckle, their seemed to be a kick to it. Your gaze went back to Rena. She gave you a knowing smile. “Thats what your magic tastes like. It will make such good honey. Thank you.”

With that she leapt forward and gave you a huge hug. She smelled citrusy too, but in a different way, almost tropical. Her hair tickled your neck and ears, as she purred in contentment. She stayed there for a minute longer, seemingly giving you a warm nuzzle before pulling away. It wasn't until she did so that you were able to register how tired and sore your body was. You were shivering. The cold was getting to you now.

Lyith noticed immediately and drew himself close to you. “Is it too cold? I knew we should have waited a day. You've overdone it.” He then threw his arms around you, and started rubbing your arms, your back. He was using the friction and closeness to bring you warmth. It was innocent, but your cheeks warmed just a little too quickly. 

Rena watched and grabbed onto your free arm. “You'll get manasick at this rate. I've got a shelter nearby. Its no hive, but the heat will do you some good.” It seemed that Rena had decided she liked you, because she kissed your cheek twice before motioning the three of you onward.

Lyiath took you up in his arms again, the pressure of his touch much more intense. 

Its just to maintain heat. You tried to convince yourself. 

You had spent a lot more time spellcasting then you thought, as you noticed the sun was starting to set behind the trees. You tried to get Lyiths attention, perhaps you should be heading home instead, but it was very hard to do as you guys were hurtling through the air at 20mph. 

You passed through a few more fields of flowers then made it to a small structure. It was an off-white, sort of oblong shed. It truly looked like some human sized animal cocoon. There was a ridge, which Rena pulled away using her glowing light magic. 

When you all went inside, you were glad to find the structure warm. Light radiated from the ceiling, as if their was a glowing cloud above. In the middle of the room was a yellow orb that radiated heat. There wasn't much else in the room except for… a beanbag chair? 

Rena saw you staring and gushed, “I saw it in a shop window on one of our grocery trips! You humans make the silliest things sometimes!! Look!!” She maneuvered you over and onto it with relative ease. The cushion was heaven to your aching limbs. That, coupled with the radiating heat from the orb, started to make you relax. Sleepy even.

Lyith and Rena took their seats on the floor next to you, seeming comfortable. The room was full of light that made their black eyes shine. Lyith, looked at you with concern, and started fussing over you, pulling your sleeves over your wrists and inching you closer to the orb. 

“You haven't eaten since lunch! Its already dusk.” he tutted, pulling your hair over onto one shoulder. He always had this habit of touching you whenever he could. It must be a Bee-man trait.

You looked over at Rena, who had decided to pass the time by examining your fingers; Then lacing them with hers. Her antennas were twitching about in an adorable way, meaning she must have been pleased. You let her touch you, happy for the companionship. If a human had touched you as much as Rena and Lyith did, you would be beyond flustered, but for some reason, the two of them made you feel safe. Comfortable. 

“I might have an old granola bar in my bag.” You volunteered groggily. Lyith took the bag from your lap and started going through it carefully. You spent that time marveling over just how cute he was. His fluff, more pronounced around the neck and chest, seemed even more fluffy after all the high speed flying. A part of you just wanted to go over and hug him like a big teddy bear. Affection filled your heart.

“No, I don't see anything.” He frowned, rearranging everything back into your bag.

Rena clasped your hand harder, you looked over and saw her smile at you.

“Oh thats fine, I still have some nectar I collected from earlier. Do you want some?” She batted her eyelashes.

Lyith quirked an eyebrow, before staring “ Rena-”

Without waiting for an answer, Rena moved forward and brought her lips to yours, locking in a tight kiss. Too shocked to move, you felt her tongue on yours, then a sudden rush of sweetness. It kept coming, filling your mouth until you were forced to swallow it down. You sputtered, whole body now hot.

“I-wah?” 

Lyith looked like he was trying to contain his laughter. “Rena doesn't spend much time with humans, please forgive her. But just know that sharing nectar this way is very normal for us.” Despite this, a glint of mischief started to twinkle in his eyes, a smirk on his lips.

“ Oooh um really?” You sputter.

He nodded. “You didn't get a lot to drink though. I took some nectar from your garden before I picked you up. Would you like to try it? The magic will refortify you.”

He bent over until he was eye level with you. His eyes went to your lips, then back up to your gaze. You swallowed quickly, opening your mouth to say… something? But Lyith took this as an invitation, pushing his lips to yours. His mouth tasted sweet even before the nectar came. And this somehow was better. Just like the nectar from the flower earlier, there was a small tartness, a bite.

Lyith held you close to himself, the pressure of his body pleasant. A warmth started to curl in your stomach as he pulled you even closer, tipping you back into Rena, who embraced you from behind as you drank. You somehow managed to swallow as he pushed your lips together even tighter, his tongue teasing yours as he fed you. 

You were not sure how long this went on. But you knew you were full, and you were dizzy when he finally pulled away, his eyes glassy. His gaze was heated as he stared you down. It was as if he might change his mind and eat you up himself. You gasped for breath, eyes fixed on him. The room was filled with purring noises from both of them. You could feel the vibrations through both of their chests. You swallowed thickly.

After what felt like an eternity, Lyith straightened himself up and his expression changed to one of laughter. He giggled then bumped his forehead against yours affectionately. Rena gave a little giggle herself then a hum behind you.

“If you're feeling better now, can we fly you home?” Lyith offered. You nodded dumbly, still shaking off the heavy atmosphere which had now turned light. You mumbled your goodbye to Rena, and explained you'd be back in a week to check on the progress of the flowers. She beamed and gave you another hug. Whatever reservations she had had about you in the beginning seemed to be gone now. You gave her one last wave before letting Lyith scoop you up again for the third time today. 

The ride home went by in a flash. The moon shone light onto your porch as he dropped you off. 

“I'll be back tomorrow for your garden.” He breathed, his face the same happy calm it usually was. His antennas twitched as you nodded at him. He leaned foreward and kissed your cheek.

“Get some rest. You did good today.” He didn't wait for an answer before he flew off into the night. 

You knew he had probably been referring to all the magic you had been working today, but a part of you hoped that maybe he had been referring to something else. You slapped your cheeks. 

“Hes a Bee-man.” You tried to remind yourself. You repeated it a few more times that night, as if it would help with your stupid warming cheeks, and pooling gut.

***

Part Three

Hi everybody! This part was a bit longer than the others but I hope you enjoy! So it turns out that bees do kiss! They share food and information this way through a process called trophallaxis. Hope that doesn't ruin the mood for you. Anywho, thanks for reading!

[theoddest1]

Okay so this new episode that came out (Episode 4) was poorly handled.

TW /// SA

- No warning before the show starts...why? And even if there is no way for Viv to add one, for some stupid ass reason, why didn't she announce to the fandom properly "Hey, this will have very deep topics and imagery that may not be suitable for all audiences."? Why have arguments on threads and fail to do this very easy thing. At least if the episode came out, people would get a heads up, and the word would spread faster PLUS people would see that you at least TRIED

- The episode opens up with a scene of CNC porno played for laughs in an episode that tackles SA. Complete tonal whiplash. Why did it have to open up with Angel showing everyone a porno? It serves no purpose other than to get a cheap laugh (that never came) out of me or anyone else who watches and because of the topic of the episode revolved around it. I'msure that if the episode WASN'T ABOUT SA, that joke would not have been there....but it is. There was legit no good reason to start this fiasco off with such a tone deaf opening.

- Charlie is actually fucking useless and a burden in this episode, serving no other purpose other than being the gateway to further the issues that befall Angel when "trying" to help. This all screams forced. Worse of all, Charlie does nothing to actually HELP Angel out of this, even though he has a clear black eye thanks to it all and literal mirrors breaking as a result of the abuse. We never see an actual development between the two thanks to her foolishness and garbage writing, and it's resolved easily as if this is some early Disney cartoon season that's on a strict deadline. Regardless of whether she apologized or not, she essentially caused the issue and did NOTHING to actually clean her mess. The goddamn B A R T E N D E R had to be used to salvage the pieces. So far, Charlie, as a character, is utterly pathetic and has been a burden to the cast twice so far. Vaggie, who tried to prove herself (moreso Vaggie's fault for going the extra mile for no reason but an obstacle nonetheless), also had an issue that involved Charlie's utter lack of a backbone. Hey, what was it that Charlie said in the pilot that her dad taught her and one of the only thingsshe learned from him? "You don't take shit from other demons"

- Only one scene from the abuse shown was handled well, and it was when Charlie visited, screwed everything up, and Val asked Angel to come to his dressing room. Aside from that, the whole SA imagery is jarring. While this time, the fast pace of it all is not bad, the quick shift into it all with Angel switching from enjoying to hating, to smiling, to frowning, ALONG with the quick pace of it all with the PRIOR KNOWLEDGE SHOWN and the SONG PLAYING, I am getting mixed messages here. Imagery? Shows Angel getting assaulted multiple times with either a forced smile or for some reason ENJOYING sex with Val and the role play situations showcased, is he INTO his abuse? Lyrics? He seems to find arousal in Val controlling him. The song legit reads as follows

"Addicted to this feeling, I can't help but swallow"

This doesn't read like he is "forced" it reads like he is yearning the toxic relationship. Now if this was one of the main issues with the abusive relationship, where it was a codependency built on romanticising the abuser and Angel learning to break free from that horrible view of someone who never loved him and actively harms him, this lyric would make a lot of sense....but that's not what we are shown at all. From the jump, we are shown that Angel HATES being with Val, to the point of him straight up avoiding his texts and voice messages, they actually do an okay job (despite the shoddy voice work) on showcasing how manipulative Val is and his outright explosive temper through this scene in episode 2. We see that Angel does NOT wanna have association with Val, is tired of it all, and even got drunk to down his sorrows. Yet these lyrics present it all as though it's just a very rocky love life like those songs you hear on the radio with the singer lamenting about how awful their relationship was but still miss their toxic boo-boo. It just...doesn't read like an SA song and could mean anything regarding the type of abuse he is facing. It's kinda vague in hindsight. That's MY take on the lyrics, though.

- Husk's song is a trash fire. He sees Angel is down in the dumps and proceeds to talk shit about him pretty much relaying his sorrows, saying it's okay to feed into your vices, and downplaying the actual situation at hand. So let's get this straight.

Angel- A sexual abuse victim forced into sex slavery to appease all sorts of people's sexual desires whether he likes it or not, including pleasuring his pimp who physically abuses him often all cause he sold his soul

Husk- Gambled his life away and lost his title as overlord, serves under Alastor all cause he sold his soul.

How is this even...the same at all? Even if Husk is lacking some context, he SEES that Angel normalized drinking roofied drinks and works for Val SOMEONE HUSK SHOULD KNOW ABOUT AND WHAT HE DOES but nah, screw Angel. Even if he honest to God (irony) wanted to actually help, why tf would Husk think this was sound advice? Why does Husk just SUDDENLY care? No build up, no memorable dynamic, no nothing. Realistically, CHARLIE should be the one singing with Angel or maybe Vaggie because she heard the story from Charlie. Not Husk. He is self aware enough where he knows this "advice" wouldn't work but nah. Nothing about the song makes sense. Telling someone going through it that "you're a loser" pretty much a no one, an insignificant individual, when VAL has made it clear that Angel would be nothing without him...yeah no the only reason why this whole song "worked" was cause the writers wanted it to, so Angel is happy with being a loser for being a victim of SA and selling his soul to someone who abuses him in various ways consistently.

This episode is terrible

Jarring for any newcomers

Who have no idea who these characters are

[mayakern]

hiiii it's me! devin! ur favorite!

maya is still banned from doing big business things on social media while she takes time to rest and detoxify from the poison that is running social media full time for ten years. everybody clap! yay!

i'm here to share some info on our button-up shirt and dress preorders!

as many of you already know, i lost my anti-preorder campaign due to the high minimum per design. there's been some confusion and uncertainty. carsyn's doing her best but preorders are overwhelming and i have some time today

SO TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTIONS:

how close are you to hitting the minimum goal for the button-up shirts and dresses?

not close lol. as of 4/26 we're at about 8% funded. i refuse to panic until after may 3rd

why the funeral design?

the funeral design won our design poll

initially we were going to run preorders for two designs: funeral as well as astronauts. when we got news that the minimum would be 400 garments per design (we're able to spread that across the button-up shirts and dresses) we decided to cut back to one design. we're really not big enough to expect 800 orders on an $80-90 item

why not another design?

another design did not win the design poll

what would have been chosen other than funeral or astronaut?

deadly florals, hiss from a rose, microorganisms, and hands were all the top placers in the design poll after funeral

can you do solid color?

yes

why didn't you do solid color?

you can buy a solid color button-up shirt or dress from anywhere. the plan has always been to introduce these garments in solid color after their initial introduction

...so can you do solid color?

we will consider doing solid color preorders if these preorders bomb

how much would solid color cost?

probably the same. it's not much cheaper. it's faster to make tho

how much would the ecovero viscose cost instead of cotton?

maybe like $10 cheaper

it's really soft tbh but it's a different weave from the viscose for the skirts. it's my number one fabric for the button-ups but alas the cotton fandom won for now

what happens if preorders bomb?

we cancel and refund all preorders.

maybe we'll try again with a different design or with fewer features after we have some time to decompress from the nightmare that is running preorders (can you tell i hate preorders). if they bomb bad enough we may completely nix patterned button-up shirts and dresses. we don't know yet!

does that affect the picnic top?

the picnic top is completely separate. since it's made out of a different fabric it has its own minimum, so it will not be affected by button-up shirt and dress preorders

and like, to be totally honest, it's way cheaper to produce. we can eat some of the cost and just make them. they're small enough to store easily and they're at a lower price point so we can expect to sell them after we receive them, like the wrap tops

btw, we have other ready-to-ship things already in production. we've been working on a whole secret project. surprise!

why did you launch preorders for the button-up shirt/dress at the same time as the picnic top?

the picnic top sample came in with the button-up dress sample and it needed very little alteration. also maya liked it. also we may be developing an entire line inspired by the picnic top so keep an eye out for that next spring

why is the new button-up shirt more expensive than the old button-up shirt?

it's more expensive to make

why is it more expensive to make?

this is a different factory from the one we used before. it's more expensive because they pay their staff a higher wage and likely have other costs

this is a different fabric from the one we used before. it's a stretch cotton with a GOTS certification

this is imported from a different country from the one we used before. turkey has much higher import fees to the US

what is a GOTS certification?

the short version is the fabric itself is more environmentally friendly and produced with more fair labor practices than standard cotton

you can read the long version here here

can you do fulfillment from somewhere other than the US?

we're working on it. it probably won't lower prices tho, since fulfillment centers also cost money

anyway...

none of this is to shame someone for not preordering. groceries are expensive and things are tight, plus it kinda sucks to spend on a tight budget and not get what you ordered for a few months

(can you tell i hate preorders)

i think there's a lot of surprise since we've never done preorders on a single design before, and that's fair! we debated on doing a kickstarter but a) i hate doing kickstarters b) kickstarter takes a percentage of sales and our profit margin on these is already lower than we'd like it to be

i'm tired and i can't remember anything else i wanted to say. i may answer any additional questions from my own tumblr (@punchyemblem and now i'm gonna get a notification that i'm gonna be jumpscared by) but carsyn will be handling most questions

also don't worry, when you say nice things we still show maya. also she's fine, she's just in her (forced and highly necessary and possibly permanent) limited social media era

[starlitiris]

Sebastian x Reader x Painter polyamorous relationship headcanons!! Omg!!

So!! I’ve thought about this a few times and really like the idea of a Sebastian x Y/N x Painter poly, and I haven’t seen anything for this anywhere!! Like at all!!! The people out there who are polyamorous or would only be poly with fictional characters are NOT BEING FED!!!!! But it’s a good thing you guys have me 😎

Also im gonna be so fr with you guys, i intended for this to have multiple sections like. “How it started” then “sleeping arrangements” then “love languages” then “jealousy” and so on and so forth but the “how it started” bit ended up being WAY longer than I thought it would be 😭😭 so this is going to be in multiple parts. And just so yall know before hand, in this poly yall ALL are dating. Youre with sebastian and painter, sebastian is with you and painter, and painter is with you and sebastian!!! YALL ALL ARE SMOOCHING!!!!!!!!!

With that all being said… ENJOY!!! AND MAKE REQUESTS FOR THIS AU BC I WILL VERY LIKELY DO THEM!!! HAPPILY!!!!! Ignore my shitass divider i just dont like having nothing there

Update: I made a part 2

🦈 * ⛓️ * 🎨 * ⛓️ * 🦈 * ⛓️ * 🎨 * ⛓️ * 🦈 * ⛓️ * 🎨

How it started:

So the way I’ve been imagining this going has you as an expendable. You get close with Sebastian first since you typically see him more often (unless you count Painter trying to trick you with fake doors or turret you but that’s when he’s trying to kill you so I’m not counting it ☝️). At some point, you and Sebastian start talking, and the more you see him, the longer your conversations get. You start to form a friendship! And he actually likes you! Good for you you achieved the impossible and made the angry traumatized fish man like your presence!!! So you and Sebastian become friends first since you see him more frequently in a non-hostile setting. Your friendship with Painter was a slower burn since you didn’t get to meet him in his room every run, but whenever you met with him, you would talk. Just like with Sebastian, the more times you saw Painter, the longer your conversations would be. He at least was able to like you faster than Sebastian did! You’re fun to talk to, and you really listen to him. And you were relatively quick to forgive him for hurting you on your runs, so he appreciated that. Eventually Painter would stop giving you a hard time with doors and turrets, and would even start following you from room to room when he could on the monitors by the doors. It made your time in the blacksite a little more bearable.

Sebastian would start to develop feelings for you after some time. He looked forward to seeing you enter his shop every run, or making little quips at you whenever you would inevitably get killed again by one of the site’s many dangers. His quips used to be harsh and ill-intended, but now they were friendly and teasing. You didn’t like getting teased for not hearing the wall dweller behind you or for accidentally falling into pits of lava, but you usually couldn’t help but smile while you rolled your eyes at him. You had developed feelings for him, too. That’s why you let him get away with it so often.

There was one day where you entered Sebastian’s shop, and he seemed… off. He was still smiling at you, but he seemed tired. Or… sad. It was a little difficult to tell, but you knew something was wrong. You tried to brush it off at first. You didn’t wanna push him to talk about it if he clearly didn’t want to, so you bought a few items and got ready to leave.

Okay, you couldn't help yourself. He looked miserable and it was worrying you. Before you left, you asked Sebastian if he was alright.

“Hm? Of course! I’m fine. Go on, if you stay too long they might start to get suspicious,” he joked, trying to divert the attention off of himself.

You weren’t convinced. But if he didn’t wanna talk about it, you weren’t about to press him on it. You learned the hard way that pushing him to talk when he wasn’t ready wasn’t a good idea. So you turned and began to kneel down at the vent.

But then he called your name.

You stopped, standing up again and turning to face him. He paused, unsure if he should continue. But then he confessed.

He confessed to falling for you. He told you he knows you probably don’t feel the same way, but god, was he in love with you. He said he felt like an idiot for letting himself get this attached to you. He apologized because he knows you two were supposed to be against each other, and loving you only made things more complicated. It made things harder than they already were.

He said he was sorry for falling in love with you.

Then you said you loved him, too.

He seemed surprised. He never would’ve expected you to return his feelings- I mean hell, look at him. He was a giant shark, fish, whale, snake… thing. And he was mean, and in a lot of ways, emotionally unavailable. Who could fall for someone like him?

Well… obviously you, of course. But he didn’t understand why. Quite frankly, though, in this exact moment, he doesn’t care. He’s just happy. Relieved. And then he’s sad again, even as you hold his hand and caress his cheek. You’re feeling the same way he is. Happy and relieved, but sad knowing that this unfortunately doesn’t change the fact that the world has pinned you against each other.

You stay for a while, but eventually, as always, you have to go. You kiss him on the cheek before you leave. Later on, you meet Painter again after he finds you on the cameras. You tell him about your interaction with Sebastian, and he’s happy for you! But sad, too. Sigh… if only there was a way they could escape and bring you with them 😔💔

Omg Painter just had the best idea ever they could escape and take you with them!!!!! He proposes this idea to Sebastian first. You could keep helping them to gather research while you keep “trying to retrieve the crystal”. And after you all stalled for enough time, boom!!! You could just ditch the place and escape with them!!! It was true that overtime, you were getting a lot better at avoiding dangers. You made it a little bit further into the blacksite with almost every run. Sebastian and Painter knew that eventually, you would likely be able to escape with the crystal. So… in order for this plan to work… youuuu would kind of have to purposely fail until you could all escape. Sebastian didn’t like that. Honestly, neither did Painter. But it was the only plan they had that they believed could work.

You didn’t necessarily like the idea either when they proposed it to you, but you agreed. Dying sucked, but escaping and dooming your best friend and now-boyfriend to die was significantly worse. You knew you couldn’t just stay in Sebastian’s shop or whatever, cause if you never left, Urbanshade would definitely suspect that something was up. You were all honestly surprised that they let you stay with Sebastian or Painter as long as you did sometimes already. But you couldn’t stay. So! Dying over and over until you can escape it is!

Things continue exactly as planned. You gather as much research as you can for Sebastian, you die in between rooms 80 and 100, and you repeat the process. Your evolving relationship with Sebastian was going great throughout this. Your relationship with Painter was doing just as great, too! He was always so excited to see you!! Any chance he had to be with you, he would jump at immediately. At this point, you were seeing him more often than you were seeing Sebastian. Not that you minded. You enjoyed Painter’s presence just as much.

Painter started to notice that he felt… fluttery? When you were around? When you looked at him, when you joked with him, when you complimented his art- hell, even just THINKING about you made him feel all fuzzy and weird. Odd! Wonder what that’s about.

Finally, Innovation Inc gets back in contact with Sebastian, and all three of you are able to escape together. Sebastian found a way to disable your PDG, and you helped to get Painter out of his cage to bring him with you.

Innovation Inc gave you three a temporary room to stay in while you got things all sorted out with them. You specifically requested that you all sleep in the same place. At long last, you could finally snuggle with your boyfriend and sleep in the same bed. Or- nest. Of blankets and pillows. It was still comfortable. You and Sebastian both agreed that you didn’t want to be apart from Painter if you two got to be together, so he was there, too. None of you minded.

Innovation Inc agreed to build Painter a body so he could move freely on his own, and do other things he wanted to experience. It would take a few months for that to happen, but it was worth the wait. While you all waited for Painter’s body to be completed, he was brought with you and Sebastian everywhere you went. He watched the way you two held hands, kissed, hugged, and cuddled. The way you would lovingly tease each other, comfort each other, and say “I love you” back and forth.

He wants that. Painter realized that he wanted that. He wants what you and Sebastian have- he wants to be part of it. He wants to hold your guys’ hands, join your hugs and cuddles… kiss you. He wants to be able to gently pet you both when either of you wake up from a bad dream. He wants to hold you and tell you both… he loves you.

Painter loves you two.

Painter’s body was finished. Sebastian was helping get him connected to it, making adjustments here and there as needed. You were somewhere else in the facility finding things to celebrate this momentous moment with. Not that there was much at your disposal, but you were hoping to find something. This is something worth celebrating!

Painter watched Sebastian analyze his wires, cables, joints, and so on – really wanting everything to be working right. Painter was really excited about his new body, don’t get him wrong. But after his recent realization… all he can think about is you and Sebastian. All the things he wants to do with you, all the things he wants to say to you…

“I love you, Sebastian.”

He just blurted it out. He didn’t want it to be a secret anymore. He knows Sebastian has you, and you have Sebastian, but you both needed to know. He needed you to know.

Sebastian looked up at Painter’s screen, eyes wide and processing.

“You… what?” Sebastian was admittedly a little stunned.

“I love you. Like… you know… not just platonically. I think I’m in love with you,” Painter continued.

Sebastian really didn’t know what to say. While realizing what Painter was telling him, he felt… conflicted. A lot of thoughts and emotions swirled around in his head- there was too much going on for him to grab a thought, latch onto it, and put it into words.

Painter took his silence as an opportunity to continue and explain himself.

“And it’s not just you. I… I think I’m in love with Y/N, too. I love you- both of you. And I know, you and Y/N are together already, and I’m just… here. And maybe I shouldn’t even be telling you this, but I didn’t wanna keep it to myself anymore. Now that I’m saying it out loud, it kind of sounds selfish- and maybe I am. I don’t know… I just… I still wanna be your guys’ friend! I hope this doesn’t, uh… ruin what we all have going for us. I just… love you. A lot.”

Painter had finished his confession. Sebastian took it all in, word for word, rolling it around in his head to process everything. Painter’s feelings, his feelings, and what this meant for all of you. It took him a moment, but eventually, he responded.

“I love you, too,” Sebastian said, an undertone of sadness present in his voice. “Both of you.”

Painter went from being surprised, to being happy, to feeling immense dread and guilt and like him and Sebastian were probably kind of betraying you at the moment. Painter asked Sebastian what the hell they were supposed to do about this, and apologized for making everything so complicated.

Sebastian said, “Let’s just tell them. They deserve to know, regardless of what happens.”

His ear fins flicked, drooping low beside his head. He felt just as guilty as Painter did.

A few minutes later, you enter the room with a smile. You tell the two that you couldn’t find much, but you had things set up in your shared room! Then you stopped smiling. They both looked… sad. Sort of like dogs that knew they did something wrong and were about to get in trouble for it.

“Wwwhat’s going on…?” You asked.

And they explained. Painter started, admitting to you that he had fallen in love with both you and Sebastian. Then Sebastian took the stage, explaining to you that he returned Painter’s feelings. He said he still loved you just as much, and he wouldn’t be telling you this if he could avoid it with a sound conscience, but you deserved to know. He couldn’t look at you the entire time he spoke.

You stared. You processed. You thought.

And you laughed.

You laughed hard.

The two were confused. FLABBERGASTED. Why the hell were you laughing? Was this a bad laugh? Laughing at how absurd this was before you yelled at them for putting you in this situation? What the fuck is wrong with u????

You wiped away a tear as you tried to calm yourself down.

“I- I’m sorry-” you said through your giggling. “It’s just… I feel the same way! I’m in love with both of you. God, I felt so guilty when I realized I loved Painter, too, but now?” You laugh again. “Oh my god! We’re so stupid.”

Silence. Jaws on the floor.

Then Sebastian snorted.

And he laughed as well. “What?? Are you fucking serious??”

You told him that yes, you were serious. You both kept laughing.

Painter was still in shock.

“Wh… so- this WHOLE time… we all just… loved each other??? All of us???”

“Apparently!” You added.

Eventually, the absurdity of the whole thing had Painter laughing, too. You all felt pretty goofy for worrying so much, only to have you all find out that ALL the feelings were reciprocated.

When the laughter finally came to a halt, Painter asked a really good question.

“So… what do we do now?”

“Well… “ you started. “We could technically just… all date each other. That’s a thing some people do.”

“We could?” Painter asked with excitement. He had never even considered that.

“Huh…” Sebastian thought aloud. “Never thought I’d be the kind of guy that’s open to polyamory, but I like that. I think we could make it work,” he grinned, looking down at Painter to wait for his thoughts.

Painter smiled widely.

“Yeah!! Yeah, let’s do that!! I’d love that!” He exclaimed.

And with that, you were now in a polyamorous relationship with Sebastian and Painter. Sebastian had finished making sure Painter’s new body was put together the way it should be, so you all went back to your shared room to celebrate.

To celebrate Painter’s new body, AND your new relationship. And later that night, Painter was finally able to cuddle with you and Sebastian while you slept – even though he doesn’t exactly sleep the same way you two do. It was still very, very nice to have one of his fondest dreams come true.

And now that Painter’s body was finished, soon enough Innovation Inc would have a remote safe house ready for you three to live in on the surface. Painter couldn’t wait. None of you could.

You were finally getting your happy ending.

[specialagentartemis]

thinking more about trigger warnings and. Bluntly, I think except for a couple specific types of things—like a rape scene in a book, or gunshot noises in an audio drama—content warnings are almost impossible to be useful when they come from somebody who doesn’t know you.

I talk about a really good horror movie I saw to my mom, and she asks, “Would I like it?” and I can say, “there’s one pretty bloody and gross scene, and one scene of a chimpanzee attacking somebody but it’s mostly offscreen, and otherwise, it’s mostly suspense and psychological, I think you’d like it.” That’s a content warning. It’s also only really possible because I know my mom and I know what makes her uncomfortable (gore and excessive violence, mostly). I was reading one of the bleakest, most depressing, most unsettling books I’ve read in my life, and chatting about it with a friend, and I said upfront that it’s bleak and upsetting, and also went into the background of the author a little bit—he wrote it as he was in and out of hospitals, dying of cancer. My friend’s dad was at that point in the hospital with cancer. Because I knew that I wanted to contextualize the book if he was considering reading it. A lot of the time when I’m talking about sci-fi books with another friend who reads a lot more of them and faster than I do, they will often let me know, “It developed a really bad straight romance halfway through,” or “the romance arc wasn’t awful but was annoying,” or “I actually didn’t mind the romance in this one.” These can be thought of as content warnings, telling me that kind of content to expect and brace myself so I don’t get disappointed by another stupid romance subplot in a book a otherwise was looking forward to. “It’s got SO much body horror” can either be a warning or a recommendation, depending on who you’re talking to. We trade our assessments of books, and let each other know what we might like and what we won't like. That's super important—and impossible to impersonalize.

Especially when it’s stuff like “yeah it was uncomfortably sexist” or “the author writes Asian people in a really uncomfortable way” or “there’s just random fatphobia consistently throughout” or “one of the magic things in it relies on the idea that love is what makes you human and people who don’t fall in love are monsters” which the author obviously isn’t going to warn for and is going to hurt some people more than others, and some people probably aren’t even going to notice. You kind of have to know somebody before you can assess what they might need to know going into something.

[jezabelle9299]

Adonis S.R x FEM! Reader

Overture-You own Spencer's favorite coffee shop, and you may as well own Spencer too with how intensely your hold is on him

CWs-Insecurity from Spencer, and comparison.

A/N- Day 15, and only a half hour late! Also for this I kind of had in mind a bi or bi-questioning Spencer, he very much cannot decide whether he wants to be that guy or be with him too. But he's so blindly into you, he doesn't put much thought into it

If you want to read the other things I've done/will do this month you can do that here: October Masterlist

Spencer drank coffee to a degree many deemed unhealthy, but he had one favorite coffee shop–yours. It was close to his work, had a recycling bin so he didn’t create excess waste with the several sugar packets he used with each cup, and he got to see you. You were somehow always there, running the shop with a sweet demeanor and a polka dot apron. 

He’d developed kind of an ill-advised crush on you, occasionally devolving into following you around from the other side of the counter like a puppy dog, just to see what he could find out about you. You were so interesting, he just had to know. You’d talk to him about your favorite books, and he’d immediately pick them up so he could give you his thoughts on them. You always listened, no matter how long the rant. 

Last time he saw you, he had to leave for work immediately after, and the team interrogated him about what, or who had gotten him in such a good mood. That was when he decided, he just had to ask you out. His chances were slim, but at the very least he couldn't keep waiting to stumble through a conversation next time he stopped for coffee in the morning. 

Not only was he disappointed when he couldn’t stop in each morning, he could never fully collect his thoughts when he was around you. If you were dating, he could see you all the time, and all the things he wanted to say to you wouldn’t have time to boil over so much. 

When he did finally see you again, after an almost week long case kept him away, there was simply no other option for Spencer. If he gave himself the opportunity to do it later, he’d never get his nerve up. He finally spotted you behind the counter of the near-empty shop, but you weren’t alone. A –ridiculously handsome– man had come to do the very thing he was about to. And that guy probably didn’t need weeks to work up his nerve. 

He decided to start browsing the bakery, defeated, and still eavesdropping. He knew he shouldn’t, but when he overheard you start to turn down the other man’s affections he wasn’t quite sure how to feel. If Adonis couldn’t be your type, what were Spencer’s chances? 

He thought about slipping out of the building before you could see him, but he caught your eye as he started to walk away. 

“Hey Spencer, how was your week? I haven’t seen you around much the last few days.” You propped yourself up on your hands against the counter, leaning ever so slightly toward Spencer in a way that made him need to avert his eyes in order to get his thoughts in line. 

“It was alright, I was just away for a case. I actually had something I needed to talk to you about?” Once he’d rushed out his sentence, he finally let himself look at you again, handing you the money for his usual coffee. 

“Sure, anything.” You waved him over to the coffee machine as you got it started for him, and he followed you–still with the puppy dog look you loved so much. 

“I kind of–like you. A lot. In a constantly thinking about you kind of way. I don’t frequently experience romantic attraction and I was wondering if you would like to go out on a date. But I am sure you’re unavailable, and thank you so much for all of the coffee, I’ll see you tomorrow.” He only talked faster as his tangent went on, clearly regretting every word out of his mouth, but unable to make it stop. When he finally finished he started moving towards the exit, quickly and utterly defeated, abandoning the coffee he already paid for. 

“Hey, hold on. Spencer! Get back here, please.” He reluctantly met you back in the lobby, steeling himself for what he was sure would be the nicest rejection he’d ever gotten. You stood close to him, and he noticed that he’d never actually been this physically close to you before, without the counter in between you, there were no barriers. 

“May I answer my own questions please?” That he was not expecting you to say. 

“Oh–sure.”

“I think that I would very much like to go out with you, and I assure you I am quite available.”He was overwhelmed with joy for a fraction of a second, before remembering that you had no shortage of potential suitors in the last few minutes. 

“But– the guy who was up here a second ago–”

“Well, I wouldn’t have guessed you were the eavesdropping type, but it’s cute. And I said no to that guy because I kind of had my eye on someone, and he wasn’t really my type anyway.” That just made Spencer all the more confused, not clearing up any of his questions. “Who on Earth could compete with him?”

“Well– you, first of all.”

“I like you. I’ve been liking you, and if you want to go out I’m free this weekend?” 

“Oh that’s–wow. Yes, I would definitely like that.”

“Good. Here’s my number–” You quickly scrawled it on the coffee cup before handing it to him. 

“Give me a call, and we can figure out something fun to do. I heard there’s a film festival at Georgetown that could be fun.” He could’ve proposed on the spot, and the only reason he didn’t was to keep from scaring you away. 

“That sounds perfect, I actually already have tickets, but I didn’t think I’d find anyone who wanted to go.” It was something he’d never admit to a girl he had just asked out for the first time, but it was just so easy to talk to you.

“Well then it sounds like we have a date.”

[cacti-are-like-flamingos]

Shared Moments...

Gojo Satoru x Reader x Geto Suguru

The Cursed Trio | Living Waters

...

Usually, you wouldn't mind time going fast. The faster it went, the closer to a break you got. But those two...when you were with those two, you begged the clock's hands to slow down. Swearing to give it anything it wanted, in return for just a few mere minutes. It didn't have to hours nor days nor months, not even years--- just a few minutes is all you asked for. Was that too much to ask?

You would never admit to them, especially not Gojo. But you've actually started to enjoy hanging out with them. They didn't even have to do anything, just being in their presence proved to be enough to scare away the aching loneliness that seemed to continuously plague you.

Back then, it never got this bad. Then again, you were easily able to speak to others. And while, the aid of Haibara and Geto have gotten you close to some kind of fluency, you still felt insecure enough to not speak publicly.

Not to say, you're silent as a lamb. (Iykyk) On the contrary, they've never seen you so talkative (not as in, you're being a chatterbox. It's just that back then you would utter out like a sentence or two depending on the person. The only time you spoke more than that was when you were cursing out Gojo in your native tongue. Now that I think about it, maybe that's why he annoyed you so much. That way he could hear you more. Huh.)

First year was turning out to be quite the breeze for all of you --- albeit, training sucked sometimes. To be more specific, training with Gojo was annoying. Not because you couldn't take it, more of a --- he just wouldn't stop talking!

It's like that's all he was born to do. Talk and talk and talk.

In spite of that, the silver fiend did have moments where his words would bubble out laughter out of you. He'd say something so out of pocket that you just couldn't stop yourself from laughing much to Geto's disapproval. (That's another thing you both have in common, you're both the literal incarnations of out of pocket shit. The both of you say things that would make the fucking Joker from Batman blush)

After training, you'd throw yourself besides Geto. Not too close, not too far. Just close enough to feel his warmth, and you'll just lay there for a moment. Taking in the sight of the blue sky and the dancing leaves...until Gojo proceeds to throw himself on you as always. The fucking bastard...

Eventually, he'd get off of you. Thanking you for being such a good cushion, to which you'll flip him off as you skip over to Geto, whom you've developed the habit of keeping a hold of at the ends of his uniform. It started out when they took you to one of Japan's major festivals, you don't remember which one, but what you do recall was the amount of anxiety you felt as you tried to transverse the crowds. Desperately trying to keep an eye on both their heads --- you were only so tall!

Next thing you know, you did it out of desperation. Not wanting to lose them again.

You'll never forget Geto's surprised expression that soon shifted into a genuinely sweet smile, one as soft as a cheery blossom petal. (Haibara actually took you to see these. This is where he told you to call him by his name)

Gojo likened you to a lost puppy, contrary to Ieiri's belief of you acting more of a cat (the others agreed you were more like a cat cuz I like cats better than dogs)

Speaking of Ieiri, both of you loved to go out shopping. She'd invite other girls from other schools to introduce, that's how you met Mei Mei and Utahime.

Surprisingly, you and Mei Mei seemed to get along. Mainly because your sense of fashion was incredibly similar. Elegant and timeless has always been the way to go. Also, you like money, she likes money --- what more could you ask for?

Also she spoke your language (she does business overseas to increase her profits so she makes it a habit to learn as many languages as she can. The more she knows the more opportunities she gets)

In a way, you understand her way of thinking. In spite of that, you disagreed with all of it. Good thing you knew when to keep your mouth shut, you had a feeling she'd be a lovely ally in the distant future.

As for Utahime, how could you not get along with her? The two of you fawn over cute animal cafes. She once took you to this Capybara one, as a treat for being such a good Kouhai, and you were over the moon. Mainly because you've never seen one and now you were feeding one!

This is actually the moment where Gojo crashed your hang out, stealing you away for serious big-boy business. You protested the entire way, shouting at Ieiri to give the other women your phone number just in case before letting yourself be whisked away by the toothpick

You glared at him, "Where's the rest of you?"

Cue in Geto greeting you with a bag of your favorite treats to make up for Gojo kidnapping you. Worked like a charm.

"Pig." "Shut up, Tampon." Cue Geto holding on to a table, laughing his ass off as Gojo stared at you over his sunglasses flabbergasted. You were the only person to ever leave him speechless, on multiple occasions.

He instantly burns red as he berates you, which you only roll your eyes at as you feast into your threats, "Says the mouthwash." Gojo and Geto look at one another, confusion written in their faces. Gojo speaks first,"Mouthwash?"

You hum in delight, nibbling on a mochi treat, "For the amount of women that had to suck you off and then spit it out like mouthwash."

Geto's not even in his chair anymore, he laughed so hard that he ripped the seat back and fell onto the concrete below. Gojo is now absolutely glaring at you with narrowed eyes, giving up when he couldn't think of a better come back.

When you get back to school, they have a tendency to escort you back to your dorm or if you're still feeling peckish, guide you to the question and hang around while you make yourself something to it. It's not even a conscious thing, they just do it out of sheer habit. The moment your eyes settle in the direction of the kitchen, they just know

There's a counter with some stools so they chill there, casually talking to one another about the most randomest of things while you dance around the kitchen gathering your ingredients

Gojo will steal some while you offer Geto some (and because you know Gojo likes to steal, you make it a habit to make a bigger portion.)

Often times, you can't really sleep so you like to wander about the school grounds. That's how you came across Nanami. He was sitting on a couch in the recreational room, wet towel over his eyes. He looked so tired, poor guy.

The moment he heard your footsteps, he snapped his head your way. Letting the towel fall onto his pants as his brain took a moment to charge enough to actually process your presence.

Even when tired, he's polite.

You have a fresh warm cup of some traditional drink from your home country, something that'll help you fall asleep and rather than drinking it yourself, you gift it to him. Of course, he'll reject. But we all know how stubborn you can be.

As he drinks, he'll actually talk to you about his day and the missions he had --- seems the more exhausted he is, the likelier he is to open his mouth.

Your drink helps him sleep whilst his voice lulls you to sleep

Eventually, the two of you fall into a routine of sorts. You'll find him trying to sleep in the recreational room, so you'll go and make him a drink from your home land. And as he sips on it, he'll talk until you fall asleep.

Nanami would be the first to wake up. Upon seeing you sleeping by his side, he'd pick you up. Quietly carrying you over to your down where he would tuck you into bed, whispering his thanks before leaving your room.

One time, Gojo caught the blonde in the act. Nanami had to calm him down before he destroyed the whole area. He happily placed you into the nuisance's arms, uttering a soft thank you to your sleepy ears, and left to go slumber.

Ah, your dorm room was simply just too far. Just the weight of you alone so hurting his arms (that's a lie if you ever knew one) ah, what are you saying brain? What about his dorm room? It is closer. In fact, it's right around this hallway that he's already been walking through since Nanami placed you into his arms.

There's barely anything in his room as he settles you down into his bed, draping a blanket over your figure. The velvety ones he knows you like (this isn't the first time, you found yourself asleep in his bed. The last time you were seeing god from all the amount of benadryl you took and somehow sneaked your way into his room. You will deny this day even to God himself)

You had made a comment that his sheets and blankets were just too scratchy. Not long after, all of his bed stuff had been replaced by satin and the good kind of cotton.

Setting his sunglasses on the nightstand beside the bed, he got ready to sleep.

Tugging the blanket up, he slid in beside you. An arm of his settling under the crook of your neck as talked a hand onto his sternum, feeling his heart under breath the fabric while you dreamt.

Even in your sleep, you shied away from complete touch. Yet you unconsciously allowed yourself the simple indulgence of a heart beat and the warmth of another besides your own.

The next day, when Geto woke up to wake his bestie up. He momentarily froze at the doorway before pulling out his phone to take a picture of the both of you. Snickering as he did so.

He'll always tease the both of you about that night, stating that he never took either of you as 'cuddle bugs'

And yet, the photo is his home wallpaper.

Hypocrite much?

...

(A/N): I have yet to sleep but I have no regrets. These two make me want to die.

Check out my masterlist for more The Cursed Trio content

Song Inspo: HOAX - into the blackhole

If you don't like being to touched, then why did you let Gojo touch you?

Huh, Mei Mei is an...interesting character. Wonder what we got there.

Drop a comment

Feel free to buy me a 🦩

Hope you enjoyed!

[ms-demeanor]

You seem like a good sort of person to ask; how does one go about building up a good spice rack? Not only just having the spices, but knowing what they are and how to use them, when and in what quantities, and developing a wider spice palette in general? I grew up in white suburbia and my mother has no idea how to use anything other than salt and ground black pepper, and I want to start making my foods more flavorful. I am tired of utterly flavorless dry roast pork! But I have no idea where to begin lol.

I'd say to start by trying a lot of foods that use a lot of different spice profiles and seeing what you like. If you like Thai food, look into Thai spices and try cooking a few recipes. If you like Indian food, try Indian recipes. If you don't know if you like a particular kind of food, go out and try it and see if you do.

I think the best way to build up your spice rack is to do so slowly over time as you familiarize yourself with different flavors. Don't go out and buy a ton of stuff, go out and buy cumin and make a rice recipe that calls for cumin and see if you like it, then next time maybe add another spice like cayenne pepper to the recipe and see if you like it.

Spices can be really expensive, but they can also be really cheap if you're looking in the right places. Try to avoid the shiny organic spice jars, and see if there are packets of spices in the various "ethnic" food sections of your grocery store (in California it's pretty common to have a Mexican food section and an Asian food section in the store and you'll often find stuff like a packet of cumin for 70 cents that's got the same amount of spice as the organic jar that costs five bucks in the spice aisle).

Once you've got some basics down, start branching out and seeing if you've got any good markets nearby that have more unusual spices. Large Bastard and I get most of our bulk spices from a Middle Eastern market around the corner from our house or at an Indian market a few miles away because it's WAY cheaper to get allspice or turmeric or garam masala from those stores than it would be from the grocery store.

And if you're starting at the basic-basics, like how to season a simple pork roast, check recipe blogs. Find different bloggers and test their recipes until you find someone you trust, then follow their recipes. One good place to start is with Chef John and Food Wishes - he has a wide variety of cuisines that use a lot of different spices and has recipes that range from very simple to very complex.

Large Bastard really likes Food Wishes and trying recipes from Chef John - he cooks less than I do and has less of a sense of what to add to a pot to get something to taste the way he wants it to, but he's gotten very good at taking Food Wishes recipes and tweaking them or adjusting them and figuring out how to mix and match flavors.

Just cooking - finding a recipe that looks interesting and following it - is a really good way to get better at this kind of thing.

That's actually one of the reasons that I think meal kit boxes like blue apron can be worth it for people who want to learn how to cook - they give you recipes you wouldn't have thought to look for and provide small amounts of the required ingredients so you can sample them and figure out if you like them. My dad and sister got blue apron for like two years and it has significantly improved their cooking skills and ability to mix and match flavors.

It just takes time and money and trial and error. Easy, right? (It isn't, but there's also no way to make it faster other than doing more experiments. Thankfully there are ways to make it cheaper, and yeah looking at local specialty markets is a good way to save on spices)

[p3ndeja6]

-; ✧˖*°࿐

Summary: you and colby brock have been friends with benefits for a while, You eventually developed feelings and so did he. But you didn’t know, he would always give you the cold shoulder after sex. you were fed up.

Content tags: jealousy, arguments/yelling, alcohol usage, angst 100%, light smut, MAJOR plot, possibly a happy ending probably not (there is)

Colby b. x reader

(this was in the drafts for like 5 months, my bad if it’s ass)

-; ✧˖*°࿐

———————————————————————————

“fuck.. colby, right there” you whined at the roughness Colby was hitting you with. both you and Colby were almost to your climax, hitting your g-spot constantly and you being fucked dumb.

“you feel so good y/n, no one like you”

these words coming from him felt so good and loved but you knew that the minute he came in you, that would all go away. You wanted to savor the moments where he would say all these sweet nothings in your ear.

“fuck colby….almost ….there.. faster… faster” you tried completely full sentences but you’d become weaker by every thrust and became dumb fucked every time his long, thick, dick would push through your fleshy, pudgy walls.

These words kept him going, probably for another hour if you could handle it. You both were so close, and you got closer together.

“colby!.. I can’t hold it.. I.. need to.. come” “fuck, come for me pretty girl, gimme everything .. you got”

you came after hearing these words, and not a minute less so did he. You could hear your heartbeat going 10 beats per second, your cheeks and ears were hot, forehead covered in beads of sweat, your stomach was all wet from your sweat and his cum that flowed up to your stomach. Colby on the other, was also satisfied, still heavy breathing, eyes closed, so mesmerized the way his dick had a full effect on you and how he had you wrapped around his dick. He felt guilty by what he was about to do. He wanted you to be with him but he just couldn’t bring himself to show this other affectionate side of him, (besides the one side where you are having sex)

“alright.. y/n , you can leave now”

you knew those words were coming but they hurt every time you heard them. You wanted to say something to him that enough is enough. That you were done being his fuck buddy.

“Fine.. colby, I’ll go” as you got up and started putting on your clothes, you turned to him, “but this is the last time you and me are doing this, I’m done with these late night booty calls”

you finally confessed

“w-what?” he said confused on why this sudden change

“yeah, I’m done colby, we’ve been doing this for far too long.. it was bound to happen that one of us was going to catch feelings first.. I had to be the first one,, I want to be more than friends with benefits” you exclaimed

“oh my god y/n , we’ve been over that we just fuck for fun, no strings attached. Why can’t you get that wrapped around your fucking head? I want nothing more..” he didn’t mean any of that. He actually did want to be something more, a label, a reason to call you “mine” “girlfriend” “lover” ,, he just didn’t want to .. at that moment”

you were fighting tears and did not want him to see you in this state, you hated being weak. You couldn’t help but spill a few, “fuck you colby, fuck you… everything about yourself, I never should’ve done this in the first place, you were a waste of my fucking time, I never want to see you again” you said wiping the few tears that fell with your middle finger, collecting the last of your things

you slammed the door as you walked your way out

“ yeah! Fucking go! You know your way out!” He yelled

he was so crushed and hated himself for the way this escalated, he cried the entire night.

-; ✧˖*°࿐

days, weeks, have gone by since you and Colby’s argument. you’ve been crying in your room for weeks, that kat had to make a home visit because you wouldn’t answer texts, calls, or tiktok dms.

kat had a copy of your house key, when she finally found it.

“y/n?… it’s me kat!, I’m here to check in you”

she walked around the house noticing very poor hygiene in the kitchen, dirty dishes being piled up, the living, food wrapped and tissues all over, the bathroom all disorganized and dusty. She knew you were badly hurt since you loved staying clean and loved keeping a tidy,clean, refreshing home. Before she found you she helped you by cleaning the kitchen and the living room.

she finally reached your room, knocked on it a couple of times then walking in.

she saw you under the sheets tissues, food wrappers and dirty dishes all scattered around. The smell of alcohol lightly lingering the room.

“Jesus y/n, how are you living in these conditions?” She walks around trying to get to you. “Cmon y/n, talk to me, what happened?”

you obviously have been awake but have been laying in silence.

it took you a while to speak up again, your voice raspy and groggy from all the crying, screaming and the no verbal communication you lacked for weeks

“what didn’t happen, kat. I cut it quits with Colby in hopes he’d finally let me know that he wanted me more than just a fuck. But then again.. he proved me wrong” you said while sitting up

your hair all tangled and greasy, you rubbed your eyes and your face from frustration

“we had a argument and he basically told me I’m delusional and that he’ll never be with me, I was just a fun fuck for him.. nothing more”

“what the fuck? That’s such a douchebag move!, you know what fuck him, there are other guys out there who will love you and will enjoy fucking you with love instead of lust!”

you laugh at her efforts of trying to cheer you up, her positive energy brought some joy and comfort that encouraged you to get out of bed.

“Thanks kat, your definitely cheered me up, I should probably clean my house” “oh! Don’t worry, I cleaned it up for you,just not your bathroom”

“Awh kat you didn’t have to! Thank you so much”

you started to clean your room with the help of kat, you blasted some of your favorite hype music, city girls being on there

as you finished your room and bathroom, kat spoke up

“omg ! Y/n I just remembered one of the guys is having a party ! We’re all going !! Let’s go!!”

you felt good to deny her offer, “sure ! Why not”

“oh. em. gee !!”

-; ✧˖*°࿐

you and kat had finished up the house, and she left to get ready, you got in the shower right after she left. You took a very long hot shower, scrubbed and shaved all over leaving you smooth and clean.

picking the most sluttiest, breathtaking outfit, that insinuated your natural curves and plump features. You chose this specific outfit because you knew that’s the outfit that had Colby on his knees eating you out for the first time. And this would make him regret not having you.

you did your make up, creating a gothic sort of look, a baddie, too high for males to reach.

so satisfied with your look, you finished in time where the party just started

8:47 pm

you arrive to the party, cars filled the drive way and both sides of the street, music loud to be heard outside the house, people hanging outside the house.

You walked in, in hopes to find kat and the rest of your friends.

“omg hey y/n!!” “hey kat!” You guys hug and exchange sweet words on how beautiful you guys look. kat then drags you to the kitchen for a drink. You look around to see any familiar faces, you see many unknown… until you meet with that familiar face you once would give anything for

“hey Katrina” Colby semi-shouted

kat gave you a ‘omg’ look and you tried you’re best to not give up your feelings and let him see you upset. You quickly grabbed a drink from the cooler, a Jamaican me happy seagrass

“oh hey colbs, what’s up” “I was just gonna ask where Sam was” he said while staring at you, up and down.

You knew this dress still had an effect on him, the way he stared at your boobs and while remembering each hickey that was placed there.

It’d be a lie if he said he didn’t miss you (them),

“Oh yeah! he’s over there by the patio” still staring “uh.. thanks”

“he was so staring”

-; ✧˖*°࿐

you were just sipping on all the wine coolers, until you changed up to drinks mixed with hard liquor, the mixture finally got you and the music was too good to not dance to it. You were still conscious and knew what you were doing.

you went to the dance section and started dancing, moving and swaying your hips to the music. doing the white girl dance (where you move your hips and mess up your hair)

you were having a great time until someone pulled you aside. You weren’t quite sure who it was until they dragged you to a bathroom that looked like no one has used yet. It was Colby

“What the hell colby? why did you just drag me to bathroom” “because I’m wanted to talk to you” “couldn’t you have just asked… you know something like 'hey y/n can I talk to you for a sec?'”

“hey y/n can I talk to you for a sec?”

you give him a glare, “okay what”

“I can’t stand at how insanely attractive you look out there dancing”

“thanks… is that all? .. so I can go”

he looked hesitant, scared; if he should just get over with it.

what if it comes out wrong? or if you finally got over him?

He was scared because you truly were the best thing that happened to him and he was an idiot to let that go. He realized he needs you in his life, you are the one true person to get him to get out of bed everyday.

“uh Colby?” You waved a hand over his face to get him back to reality

“Look y/n I don’t know how to use words correctly, clearly… but what I’m trying to say to you is true and it’s coming from the depths of my heart”

you were still puzzled on what he is trying to refer to but you hoped it would involve him finally confessing his feelings to you

“colbs it’s okay”

that nickname.. that nickname always put him in a trance when you say it.

Colby took a deep breath and proceeded to look at you with his icy blue eyes

“y/n I should’ve never let you walk out that night… I wanted to chase after you but I was too much of a coward to go. Y/n you mean everythi- no you are everything to me”

he paused

you were shocked by his words.. trying to come up with something to say quickly before the moment left

“and I- I love you… more then you know. please y/n..”

he grabbed your hands and made you look at him. You were still trying to find words because you felt the same way, you were happy he finally was able to tell you the words you wanted to hear for so long…

“Colby…”

he waited with pleading eyes, finally being able to touch you after what felt like an eternity, but something in your eyes said something else.

“please y/n”

why can’t you say yes? What is holding you from saying yes?! You thought it would be easier now that it was out in the open, but it’s not and it’s hurting you because now you can’t find the words.

“i don’t know what to say”

“say yes…”

your lip trembled, eyes felt watery from the salted tears that were dreading to come out

“but I’m scared… I’m scared to try”

“me too but together we can figure it out, we will work it out because I believe in us. Please y/n I’m begging… let’s try it together”

his words were just the right words to feel at ease, you were scared but if being scared with Colby meant that you would finally be with him. So be it

“okay… let’s try… together”

-; ✧˖*°࿐

[leavingsunsets]

alsgakdgaksh sorry I know you just answered my request but, but, but what about dcst characters reacting to a reader who has a problem with daydreaming (maladaptive daydreaming)

basically they get so lost in their mind that they start acting out or quoting(? their thoughts, from the outside it just kinda looks like they're talking to themselves but they've got a whole movie in their mind 😭 (i legitimately subconsciously tripped myself because i imagined a character falling to the floor)

take care and don't rush <333

whooo this was a doozy. had to do a little research for this one, so i get to give yall some good rep or atleast make it feel a little more accurate tehee. anyways with this population sampling liberty ive decided to get 5 characters, 4 guys and 1 girl. enjoy 😋.

"𝔇𝔞𝔶𝔡𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔪𝔢𝔯?"

[𝖣𝖢𝖲𝖳 𝖼𝗁𝖺𝗋𝖺𝖼𝗍𝖾𝗋𝗌 𝗐/ 𝖺 𝗆𝖺𝗅𝖺𝖽𝖺𝗉𝗍𝗂𝗏𝖾 𝖽𝖺𝗒𝖽𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗆𝖾𝗋.]

𝙎𝙚𝙣𝙠𝙪 𝙄𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙜𝙖𝙢𝙞

Might be a little confused at first. Like, especially if it's at random times. Maybe he's busy tinkering with something, and you're in the same room. You do or say something and he automatically goes "huh?" because he thinks you're talking to him and you go "huh."

It takes some adjusting for him, but he learns much faster than the others. Though it's kinda funny during the beginning stages because whenever you said something aloud he'd pause whatever he was doing to stare at you blankly, and if you didn't look his way after a few seconds he'd take it as you weren't talking to him and resume his business.

He's a curious bugger tho so he obviously glances over at you sometimes to see what you were doing, whether you were both alone or not.

Seeing as your attention is a little harder to grab, he's got a custom habit of either patting or holding your shoulder. Like "yo [name]," and a little shoulder tap.

But with this development, it seems you've also learned to do the same. Now that he's used to you talking to yourself, to show that you're speaking to him, you have to either tap him or say his name.

Overall, pretty chill about it, even talks to you a lot just to pull you out sometimes.

𝙏𝙖𝙞𝙟𝙪 𝙊𝙠𝙞

Our sweet, underrated, heart of gold who I couldn't find nice aesthetic manga banners for (sorry for the jumpscare). Bet you didn't expect to see him on the list, huh?

Just a little longer in terms of adjusting. Like Senku, is a little confused and goes "?" when you do things randomly. Sometimes, you are interrupted because whenever he is in vicinity he's just bombarding you with questions.

"Hi! What are you doing?" "Were you talking to me?" "What's that mean?" "Were you saying something?" "What is that gesture?"

You either give him a very detailed description about the scenario in your head or just BS it.

"I was communicating with the trees." "Wow! Really? You can do that?" Accepts whatever choice you pick anyway. He will listen intently and he will take it literally. An open chance to tell him whatever you want and he would not suspect you at all. He is very intrigued at this new type of acorns called "Deez" that you found in the forest. Apparently it's part of the "Ligma" family of trees? Wow!

Easily snaps you out of your daydreams because his voice is just loud enough to do so.

You get to enthuse with him sometimes, and he will happily listen.

𝙏𝙨𝙪𝙠𝙖𝙨𝙖 𝙎𝙝𝙞𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙤

Also a little underrated, I swear.

Problem with Tsukasa is that he's a little nonverbal so when you do or say something, he just stares at you. Hulk of a man watches in confusion as you play out a whole soap opera or something.

But hey, what is Tsukasa if not a kind and gracious man?

Tries to understand you, and is a good listener if you ever need a guy to ramble to about this. And hey, gives him more insight on your mind in general.

Keeps a slightly closer eye on you, or is just more aware of your predicament in general.

This Tarzan would genuinely be gentle about it like he'd check up on you and stuff. Talk to you, or even sit down with you, maybe a little chitchat.

I imagine you as a duo would be him sipping nice tea and enjoying the garden meanwhile you accidentally drop your cookie in the milk so you borrow his teaspoon just to scoop it out and he lets you. Very weird analogy but he is just kind??

An enigma, overall doesn't change his usual equitable treatment towards you.

𝙆𝙤𝙝𝙖𝙠𝙪

I already had a vision of her reaction to this. Like, as an inquisitive type, she'd most likely ask you questions all about it as soon as she notices it. More answers lead to more questions. Forgive her, she's only curious.

Similar to Tsukasa, she wants to be aware and informed. Wants to know about what you're thinking about sometimes. "Hmmm..." and just watches you from the branches.

Of course, watchful, and vigilant. Observer type. If ever you're too out of it to notice something potentially harmful coming your way (or vice versa), she'd be there to tug you back to reality.

She's most likely less patient than Tsukasa, not the type for a sit down kind of conversation, but would still let you ramble while you both pick apples or smthn.

Overall a nice gal who wouldn't mind it at all.

I feel like she's the complete opposite of a daydreamer, so it's hard for her to understand what it's like. Still, she tries to be considerate and talks with you whenever she can as a way to learn about it.

[tigergirltail]

TIGER HRT CHAPTER 5 - MONTH 4 - COMMUNITY

FIRST - PREV - NEXT

It took another month after my check-in, after starting the correct dosage, for my transformation to stabilize and stop hurting all the time. My bones have settled down, my tail is getting long enough to get in the way which is honestly more exciting than annoying, and I've even got little bitty claws pushing out of my fingers! The mechanisms for retracting and extending them haven't grown yet, though, so I just… am sharp now.

It's actually become kind of a bloody inconvenience, and I use the term 'bloody' very literally. The first few times I went to go scratch an itch, I'd end up drawing blood, and having to go clean myself up and put on a bandage. I thought about clipping my claws, but I have no idea if that's going to stunt their development or have consequences when I can finally retract them, and it's not something that seems worth bothering Dr. Erian about. The biggest problem is that sometimes I'll move my arms in my sleep, and there's no way of telling what'll be in the way. I've already had to conduct emergency repairs on three plushies, and my bedsheets are kind of a write-off.

I was a little afraid of the pain subsiding, if I'm being honest, because it means going back to work, which means existing in a public space with my half-human half-something-else face. It's still cold enough that I can wear a scarf and toque over the more off-putting features, but that won't last much longer and it's not something I can do indoors. I'm just going to have to face the truth…

I don't pass as human anymore.

My first day working in-person again, my supervisor walks into my office with the intention of welcoming me back, but what actually happens is he stands in the doorway dumbfounded before asking, "Now what in the world happened to your face??"

For all the time I had, I never actually managed to think of a clever lie, so I just tell him it's a side effect of some new meds I'm taking. Technically not a lie, if you ignore the word 'side'. Fortunately, he doesn't ask what's wrong with me. I'm not looking forward to having to tell someone who doesn't get it that Being Human counts as Something Wrong.

Work has been alright, though, if a bit dull. My coworkers mostly leave me to my own devices to get things done.

It's doing anything else that becomes an issue.

I get lots of stares in the grocery store or the mall. I'm not sure whether it's the inhuman face that does it, or the fact that I nearly always wear t-shirts and my fur is now growing up to my wrists. I think it's growing faster now that it's run up against peak arm hair territory. Either way, I basically don't dare set foot outside without my partner in tow. Nobody's tried anything yet, but I see them shying away from me, and just the other day a little kid called me a 'monster'. It's… still eating at me.

I never could take being the centre of attention.

It's not all doom and gloom, though. I don't know whether the tactile senses of my hands have changed or it's something psychological, but that thing cats do where they knead something with their claws? "Making biscuits" I've heard it called?

It feels soooo niiiice.

Last weekend I went to take an afternoon nap, and ended up spending a solid half hour just squishing my blahaj with my hands (or would that be 'paws' now?) All the stress from the previous week just… melted away. It was like an ASMR video for my sense of touch.

Is it bad that I'm really enjoying being a little more cat-brained?

I've also become RAVENOUSLY hungry. As in, "destroy an entire rotisserie chicken in one sitting" hungry. The meat cravings have kicked in, HARD, and I've basically lost my appetite for bread and pasta. You really don't realize how much human food is grain-based until you stop wanting to eat it…

All the big changes hitting at once are getting hard to withstand sometimes. There are nights when I go to bed absolutely euphoric about how it's finally happening, I'm finally embodying everything I'm supposed to be! But there are also nights when I cry myself to sleep because oh gods, what was I thinking, why am I doing this to myself, I look and feel like a godsdamned circus freak, and it really doesn't help to remember that white tigers are pretty much universally victims of inbreeding and abuse.

In a moment of weakness, I catch myself eyeing the remaining contents of the HRT bottle. I ran some numbers a little while back and figured out that at the recommended dose, this bottle is an entire 18-month treatment, give or take. Well, 12 months now, I guess, since I was accidentally taking a triple dose for the first three months. The fact that it's a diluted Fifteen Minute formula means that if I just brace myself and chug the entire rest of the bottle, that would finish out the treatment in one go, wouldn't it? It… probably wouldn't even hurt as much as doing Fifteen-Minute from the start, right?

My partner walks in on me holding it and staring at it, and asks what I'm doing, so I explain my thought process. They just silently put one hand on mine and use the other to gently remove the bottle from my grasp.

"But I -", I begin to protest.

"No."

"I keep getting stared at and -"

"No."

"That one little girl called me a monster!"

"No."

I start crying, and I can't help raising my voice. "If I just finish it all NOW then maybe -"

"NO."

They set the bottle down and pull me into a tight hug, pinning my upper arms to my sides. "I love you very much, and I don't want to see you hurt yourself. You went into this knowing it was gonna suck for a while, and right now it sucks, but it's not worth risking your life over."

I don't have a counter-argument. I just lower my face onto their shoulder and sob. "I just… I don't want to keep doing this alone anymore! I need… I need help! Support, guidance, SOMETHING!!" I cling to them, digging my fingers, my claws, into their back. "I don't want to be the only one…"

"You aren't.", they reassure me quietly. "Didn't you tell me yourself that there's a bunch of people doing this? We even saw a whole crowd of them at that seafood place."

"Y-yeah, but I don't know anybody local!"

"Then find them online. It's better than nothing, isn't it?"

"It's… It's just not the same…"

They pat me on the back. "Just… try. For me."

They let me cry into their shoulder for another several minutes before I let them go.

Back at my computer, I sit down and start searching for a humanity removal therapy support group. A Discord server, a Facebook group, a Tumblr sideblog, ANYTHING. Gods help me, I'm even looking to TWITTER for help. Even as a human I was a solitary creature, and tigers are about as solitary a creature as they come, so it takes a lot of effort to bring myself to reach out. I end up doing it right before I go to bed, just firing off a few quick messages to some figures in the community, then forcing myself not to look at social media the rest of the night. For all my growth, I'm still a bit terrified of being noticed.

By the time I wake up, some of them have gotten back to me. I… wasn't expecting it to be so fast.

It turns out there's a private group chat where a bunch of them hang out on the regular to talk about what they're going through. They sound open to the idea of bringing me in, but want to get to know me a little better first. I don't blame them for wanting to keep to themselves. I get to talking with one of them, a lamia-to-be, and through our conversations I get the distinct impression that, well, I'm not alone in feeling alone. Somehow I manage to convince her I'm worth knowing and having around, and she sends me an invite to the group chat server.

Time to face the mortifying ordeal of being known.

I go through all the typical new-to-the-server motions. I read the rules page - it's the usual "don't be a dick" type stuff, with some bonus content applicable to our unique situation, like not stereotyping based on species, and a reminder to not present your own experiences with humanity removal as universal fact. Then into the welcome channel to type up a quick introduction:

"Hey all, I'm Alexis, transfem (she/her), 38, 4 months white tiger HRT. Interests include gaming, tabletop RPGs, costuming, and witchcraft. Looking forward to getting to know everyone!"

A few people react with heart emojis and tiger emojis. Discord only has the standard orange tiger as an emoji, but, you know, close enough. One person reacts with a witch emoji, and it gives me a laugh.

There's a channel for serious questions about the transformation process, so I decide to hop in and fire off a quick one:

"Not that I mind this, but why am I so hungry for meat now? It hit around the 3 month mark and now I can eat an entire roast chicken in one go"

Over the course of the next hour or so, a few people weigh in. The consensus is that my body is entering a 'bulking up' phase, and needs a ton of protein to generate muscle. Just out of curiosity I go to do an online search to confirm something, and yeah, tigers are a lot more proportionally muscular than humans are. Someone else suggests taking calcium supplements to help with bone growth, unless I'm prepared to drink a LOT of milk. I am in fact prepared for that, but it couldn't hurt to drop by the pharmacy.

It also turns out that the server isn't just for people who have started their HRT, but for aspiring humanity-removers as well. There's even a channel specifically for advice navigating the whole process, including how to convince your medical provider that you're for real and you won't immediately regret it when the itching/soreness/bleeding kicks in.

One of the regular posters is a teenage girl with a corvid avatar who asks a lot of questions about what it's like to become nonhuman. Surprisingly, she's not trans like most of us are, but she is queer. It sounds like she's not in a stable situation, though - she asks at one point if anyone can think of a way to get the meds without her parents noticing.

The problem is, even if that's a possibility, someone would notice when she starts sprouting black feathers and a beak.

---

(guest cameo from @ariathelamia!)

[blacktabbygames]

shooting my shot with these questions - how far along was the development of demo fury and how much work was scrapped or reworked into adversary/tower for the release game? :0c i think it's genius vot broken got swapped over to tower's route and we got stubborn instead, but i'm also burning with curiosity wondering how broken was originally going to function with demo fury

Pretty much 0 "hard" work had been done on demo Fury before she got scrapped. We had loose concepts for how we wanted the overall progression of the game to go, but those concepts had yet to face the crucible of writing vs the pleasant air conditioned room of the imagination. As soon as we released the first demo for Slay the Princess, we spent 100% of our energy on finishing Episode 4 of Scarlet Hollow. It wasn't until January of 2023 that we started work on the rest of Slay the Princess. A lot of the earliest stages work was spent on looooong runs on the elliptical, listening to music + thinking things through. That ideation phase felt *really* stilted with the number of Princesses we had in the initial demo, especially for Princesses that had a lot of ways to unlock them, since the more ways you got to a Princess, the less it felt like her character had a real emotional core to latch onto. So, using the example of the Fury... what is she? She's someone way more powerful than you who mercilessly beats you to death. But she's ALSO someone who you fought to a fatal standstill that ended with mutual respect. And somehow at the same time she's also ALSO someone who hid a secret knife... somewhere... and killed you with it. Like, who is that? It's nobody. Not really. And while we *could* have tackled this with entirely too much variable dialogue, at that point each of those Princesses felt like entirely different people, so what if we just... made them different Princesses? That's what we did with demo 1 Fury, who became The Adversary, the Tower, AND the Razor. Likewise, Damsel -> Damsel + Prisoner and Beast -> Witch + Beast Since the original concept for "The Fury" was split into "The Adversary and "The Tower," we thought it would be fun to bring her back as the "fusion" Chapter 3 Princess that can be accessed for either of their routes. And since we got into PAX Rising shortly after making this decision, it felt like a good idea to do a full re-release of the demo. And outside of that... there's very little in the way of leftover first drafts or unused concepts, other than little figments that live in our heads. Slay the Princess had a *ridiculously fast* turnaround time (about 7 months of full time work from myself and Abby for the initial release, + ~3 months of extra full time work for the Pristine Cut.) This faster turnaround was intentional, both to minimize any drag on Scarlet Hollow's development, but also because the game itself is dreamlike by design, and free-running with ideas until they hit their logical ends felt like it worked extremely well with the story we were hoping to tell.