#also i hate the toll road to get to the airport

[theforgottenfreefaller]

Dropping your spouse at the airport is actually so sad.

[brockadoodles]

ho ho hopefully - t. seguin

AN: This is like... PURE fluff. Pure soft, Christmas themed, fluffy fluff with our resident idiot, Segs. But like, kind of what we deserve for Christmas, no? Totally based on the BEST Christmas song in existence, Ho Ho Hopefully, by the Maine. Tagging the seggy queen @texanstarslove​ in this one, since I think she’ll enjoy it. It’s a bit shorter than most, but let me know what you think!

Word Count: 2222

Warnings: None.

December first, I’m in a foreign state, I’m running late, I’m all alone, wishing I was home with you, baby.

It shouldn’t have mattered. It shouldn’t have been a big deal to miss it. It was one year, objectively, you could start on December second, or third, or fourth, or all the way up until Christmas Day and it shouldn’t matter. But there was something about December first, how the first signs of Christmas would start popping up, with lights beginning to pop up on homes and trees slowly starting to be seen in the windows, families decorating together. You probably liked December first more than you even liked Christmas because something about that transitional time from autumn scenery into snow-covered streets that actually made sense was comforting, and with everything going on in your life as of late, the only thing you wanted was to be home on December first, with him.

Tyler knew that December first was special. He knew from the years of knowing and falling in love with you how your eyes lit up at the smallest things, like the first snowfall of the season, even though Vancouver rarely got snow. He knew from the way his own heartbeat faster around you that first year you insisted he help you with a tree, his own love for you he was trying to keep at bay trickling through to the surface. He knew that being home with you was inarguably the one thing you wanted, and there he was stuck in an airport lounge in Boston feeling the farthest away from you he could possibly feel on your favorite day of the year. 

Tyler looked out the window. His eyes were still as he watched the storm get worse and worse outside. Muffled airport announcements in monotone voices announcing delay after delay in flights. Boston was an eight and a half hour flight from Vancouver, and reality was settling in that his chance at maybe, just maybe making it to you with an hour to spare was steadily decreasing with each inch of snow that was falling onto the ground. 

Tyler knew when you started dating that it would be hard. The distance between Dallas and Vancouver was already a hurdle, but the added layer of his career and your own job made the relationship seem nearly impossible. It felt at times like you were two people dangling from a rope, trying to balance too many things at once simply just to be together. But he’d hear your soft voice on the phone, “I can’t wait to see you” murmuring from your lips and it made it all worth it, it made the time difference, the traveling, and the hardships worth it anytime you’d utter those words. 

He wasn’t even entirely sure how it happened, him falling so hard for someone who was almost always half a world away. Everyone in his life cautioned him against it, saying that there was no way it could work, you’re too different of people and too different of lives and it wasn’t rational. But Tyler didn’t care to be rational, because you were his best irrational choice he had ever made, and he knew he was lucky that he got to love you. 

Tyler held his head in his hands and tried to tell himself that it would be okay. He was still getting to see you later that month for Christmas and that was what mattered. But he also couldn’t help being unfathomably irritated at the bad weather that he couldn’t control, the watered-down shitty Dunkin coffee sitting next to him, and the repetitive cycle of delayed flight announcements ruining what was supposed to be an incredible surprise. The Stars had been in Boston finishing up a long road trip where they would now have two days off before a short home stretch of games. The timing had lined up perfectly so that if he flew straight from Boston to Vancouver, he’d get almost two days with you, one of which being your favorite day of the year. But now as he sat in the terminal, the hope of seeing you just kept dwindling bit by bit, and he was coming to the deafening realization that maybe it just wasn’t meant to work out. 

“Any news?” Tyler turned his head quickly at the voice coming from his left. Jamie sat down next to his teammate with a soft frown on his face. Tyler just shook his head and took a sip of his coffee, growing more irritated by the minute. The only thing getting him through it was knowing that even though his surprise was crumbling, you at least couldn’t be disappointed in it since you had no idea he was even planning to come in the first place. But what Tyler didn’t know was that Jamie Benn loved a lot of things, one of which being a classic romantic Christmas surprise, and you had been scheming up a surprise of your own. 

It was a last minute surprise, an idea that you had panickingly called Jamie over just the week prior. You had been going through what might have been the worst day you’d had in months, one of those days where every single event felt like the worst thing in the world. You remember curling up on your couch and crying as you looked through the calendar and Tyler’s schedule, trying to piece together how you could swing a surprise visit between their pre-Christmas packed schedule and your own lack of vacation time from work. It felt like the pieces weren’t fitting, and you were desperate to try. So that’s when you called Jamie, and he patiently combed through the practice schedule with you, helped you book a flight and promised to keep it an absolute secret from your boyfriend. 

The thing that Tyler didn’t know was that you were also sitting in an airport terminal with a shitty coffee in your hand, waiting anxiously for a flight of your own, the first flight of two that in six and a half hours time would land you back in the lone star state. The main difference was that there was no snow where you were, and all that you had to do was board the plane and show up, Jamie said he would take care of the rest. 

You had everything worked out, Jamie had made sure he wouldn’t suspect anything, his dog sitter knew when you were coming, and you had even packed a goofy Christmas sweater for him to wear while you hopefully decorated together. Long-distance with him was hard, but when the schedule seemed to allow for a quick visit, you gladly took what you could get, willingly ready to be tired from the flights even if it meant just a few hours with him. 

Each visit you found yourself breaking more and more when it ended, the days between were starting to feel dreaded. Your work was no longer enjoyable. It felt like you were stagnant in Vancouver, with most of your heart nestled safely in whatever city Tyler happened to be in that night. If you were honest with yourself, you knew that this was going to burn out, the distance was going to take its toll on the both of you, and sitting in that airport ready to go see him for the first time in a few weeks, you found yourself thinking for the first time about the idea of not coming back to Vancouver. 

Your phone rang in your hand, Tyler’s photo filling up the screen. You set your coffee down and slid your thumb across to answer, smiling slightly in excitement.

“Hey.” you hummed, hoping that your headphones would drown out any announcements about flights that were periodically coming through the speakers around you. The airport was busy, as was to be expected this time of year, but you had worked hard to keep this a secret from him and the last thing you wanted was a muffled airport announcement blowing the surprise fifteen minutes before you were set to get on a fight. 

“Hi, baby.” He sighed. You could tell something was off, you could always tell. You and Tyler knew each other so well, the distance between you forcing you both to pick up on things between each other. The things that were highs and the shifts in tone that indicated something was wrong, you both knew. You had memorized all of his little habits, from the typical stuff like how he preferred apples in his oats or how he had to nap at the same time before every game, to the things that people who didn’t know him didn’t have the privilege to see. Like the way he lit up when his sisters would call, or how he was really hard on himself, even when he shouldn’t be. You just knew him, all of his good things and all of his flaws and you loved him endlessly through all of it. You frowned slightly and opened your mouth to speak but he started before you could.

“I’m heading back to Dallas. Our flight was delayed, big snowstorm here.” He groaned. He hated that he was telling you this without entirely telling you why he was upset. But Jamie was next to him, and even if Tyler didn’t want to believe that he was right, deep down he knew the surprise wasn’t going to work, and as much as it sucked, he needed to just go back to Dallas and accept the fact that he would have to wait a few more weeks to see you not through a phone screen. 

“I just really fucking miss you.” He admitted and your heart cracked. You could hear in his voice how bad it was, and it only strengthened the feeling of stopping all of the distance between you altogether. 

“I miss you, too, bub. But, only a couple of more weeks.” You raised the tenor of your voice a bit, hoping that it would get him a bit excited about Christmas together. 

“Yeah, wish it was sooner, though.” 

You talked with Tyler for a few more minutes, tapping your foot slightly as you waited for your boarding number to be called. When you ended the call and boarded your flight, that feeling came back. The feeling of wondering if Vancouver could really truly be your home anymore when half of your soul was in Dallas. You spent the whole flight thinking about it, even though deep down you had no doubts about your decision. All it took to confirm it was his strained voice on the other end of the line, the pent of frustrations he was feeling about missing you just as much as you missed him. 

Tyler carried his bags through the entryway, exhaustion finally setting in right next to his already bad mood. Gerry, Marshall, and Cash came running up to him, excited to see him and lifting his spirits just enough as he greeted them and then combed through his mail that was sitting on the table. He tossed his bags down and kicked off his shoes, not wanting to bother with taking them upstairs yet. He knew that the dog sitter had left, he had told her when he was coming in. He was honestly looking forward to just relaxing on his couch, face-timing you, and going to sleep. He was supposed to be in Vancouver, walking up to your door and seeing you, and he didn’t have it in him to not sulk about that. 

He walked toward the kitchen, freezing a bit when he saw bags of Christmas decorations on the counter. He poked around, sifting through the various bags wondering who had dropped them off or if he had somehow placed an order for Christmas decorations that he forgot about. He got to one bag, a small brown one with a ribbon on the side. It was probably a gift, but when he saw the note with his name scribbled on the front he quickly opened it. 

We go together like the winter and a sweater <3 

He recognized your handwriting immediately as he opened the bag, pulling out a bright red sweater, laughing softly at the horrible snow-related Christmas pun that was screen printed on the front. He felt warm at how you somehow must have known he needed the pick me up. He kept combing through the bags, various ornaments, and knickknacks, and other decors were littered throughout them. He knew it was you, he wasn’t sure how you coordinated this but he knew you were the reason it looked like Christmas was about to throw up in his kitchen. He smiled a bit, his bad mood lifting when he realized what this probably meant. You probably wanted to decorate on facetime together, a compromise for not being able to actually be with each other and the idea melted his heart. 

Tyler walked over to the fridge, cracking open a beer as he unlocked his phone to call you. As the phone was ringing, the dogs started barking like crazy, running back from the kitchen to the front door. He didn’t think much of it until he nearly dropped his phone when he heard your voice. 

“Shh, shh, hi boys. Hi! Oh my gosh, hi Gerry.” You laughed, petting each of the dogs as you walked further into the house. You had takeout in your hands and were so focused on not dropping it from the dog’s excitement that you didn’t even realize Tyler’s bags were sitting against the wall in the entryway.

“You’re here.” You jumped at the sound of his voice, smiling big as he walked over to where you were standing. You were wearing one of his sweatshirts, his name sprawled across your back, a sight that he never grew tired of seeing and you were carrying bags of what appeared to be take out in your arms. You had slippers on and your hair up, an indication of how relaxed you were. He couldn’t help but internally groan, seeing how comfortable you were in his house, the one he wanted to be your home, too. You quickly set the food on the kitchen table, meeting him halfway. He pulled you in tight and you listened to his heart beating against your ear. 

“Fuck, I can’t believe you’re really here. I was going to surprise you.” He whispered, tilting your head up to kiss you. You smiled into the kiss, your heart already telling you what you needed to talk to him about. You didn’t have any doubts about it anymore. Dallas was where you needed to be. It was where Tyler needed you to be, and standing there in his kitchen with Christmas decorations littered all around you and him holding you like this, you were ready. Every buildup to this moment had led you here, in slippers in his kitchen ready to ask him to take another step with you, hoping that he’d grab your hand as he did so. 

“I’m really here. Jamie actually helped, he made sure I could get in and made sure you had no idea.” Tyler had never been more appreciative of his best friend. He should have known Jamie would have a hand in a surprise like this, this had secret softie Jamie Benn written all over it, and he adored you, often warning Tyler not to fuck it up with you. 

“Remind me to thank him, because wow. Best surprise ever, honestly.” He melted into you. He didn’t care if it was cheesy, or something straight from a bad Christmas movie. He’d watch 100 of those Lifetime movies because the feeling he was experiencing now with you in his arms was probably the exact emotion those cliche Christmas films tried to convey. 

“Tyler, I wanted to ask you something.” You said, pulling back just enough to look at him.

“Anything.” He kissed you once more, still in disbelief that you had pulled off a surprise when his had fallen so flat. 

“I don’t want to do this anymore, the missed calls, the flights, all of it. I just want to be here, all the time with you.” You smiled. Your stomach was bubbling with nerves as you studied his face for any reaction or reason that maybe he wasn’t ready for that yet. It would be complicated, figuring out how to actually stay in Dallas and be together. But a strenuous Visa application was the least of your worries if it meant that you’d finally get to be with him. Tyler grinned, picking you up and setting you on the table, kissing you hard as he stood between your legs. 

“Please tell me that means you want to move here.” He mumbled against your lips. You just kissed him once more. 

“There’s nothing else I want. Well I kind of want the food I brought, and maybe we could decorate for Christmas since it’s my favorite day, but like, definitely want to move here the most.” You laughed slightly as you spoke. Tyler just smiled at you, a breathtaking, heartfelt smile that made butterflies swirl around in your stomach. It was an exciting step in your relationship, and you couldn’t help but think about how much you loved December first again, this time for a new reason, because now it was the signifier in a new start with the person you loved. You didn’t care that it was only December first, because to you, this was better than anything you could have received on Christmas Day. 

[andromedasstarship]

in the stars - chapter 3

photo credit - unknown 

pairing - aaron hotchner x reader

warnings - canon-typical criminal minds violence, stalking, depictions of murder/violence, angst, verbal fighting, drinking, unhealthy coping mechanisms, smoking (cigarettes) 

summary -  “If you’re upset over how I ended our relationship, that is completely separate from the dealings of the case and I expect you to be able to conduct yourself appropriately.” Aaron said and you thought this was what ‘seeing red’ meant

a/n - hi besties! im so sorry this update took so long! i really wanted to make it perfect and was struggling with putting this together. to make it up this chapter is a whopping 5.9k words so uh enjoy lol!

masterlist // series masterlist // read it on ao3

chapter 2 // chapter 4

-----

You had to physically stop yourself- gripping the desk chair beside you so hard your knuckles turned white- from following Aaron out the office door and demanding he make sense of the whole good cop- ha!- bad cop show he’d been putting on since the two of you had been horribly reunited outside of the police station. 

This had been the second instance of him implying or accusing you of somehow worsening the case. And he hadn’t even been in LA for over 24hrs. It wasn’t fair, you thought, angrily grumbling to yourself about all the different ways you’d love to give him a piece of your mind. If he’d been a regular man, that you’d never met before, you probably wouldn’t consider his current behavior to be so- out of pocket? disgraceful? insulting?- offensive. You knew he had a reputation for being...,a hardass on the job, but that didn’t mean he had to go overboard in his treatment towards you. Maybe he wasn’t going overboard, maybe this was just how he treated every- you weren’t sure exactly how to define yourself in the case- witness? Maybe this is just what his team expected in terms of his behavior towards people he didn’t know.

But he did know you, he knew you quite well. He knew you well enough to know you’d never purposely attempt to slow the case down. Even without his fancy profiler skills, you were certain Aaron Hotchner knew every little thing about you. Or at least he used to. 

And while Aaron may know everything there was to know about you, you were beginning to doubt if you actually knew anything about him. As expected, over the past two months the case had been taking an extreme toll on you; constantly looking over your shoulder and worrying that someone was lurking behind every corner. What made it worse, was that it was yet another situation that required you to keep a secret. You ‘had’ the officers at the station and your agent, but besides them you were dealing with this completely on your own. Making the situation about yourself felt wrong, but you couldn’t even begin to explain how hurt you felt at Aaron's accusations that you were somehow more part of the problem than you were a victim. Yes, you hadn’t gone up to him and explicitly told him how badly you were hurting, but it’s not like it took a genius- or a profiler- to reach that conclusion themselves. 

It hurt, to have someone whose validation you had once- still did- crave so much, suddenly act as if you were a ‘bad guy’. Maybe you were being dramatic, you thought. Maybe you were overreacting and reading far too deep into such short interactions. On the other hand, you reasoned that it was perfectly acceptable to have feelings. Before you could delve deeper into that mental tirade, a sharp knock on the doorframe grabbed your attention. Looking up, you saw JJ leaning halfway into the room. 

“Sorry,” you said, awkwardly letting go of the chair, “I uh, got caught up with uh, just you know, thoughts about the case!” Smooth. You tried to put a cheery tone in your voice. You tried to subtly study her reaction as you walked over to her and it was clear she wasn’t exactly buying into your sudden happy attitude. She didn’t press you though, something you were grateful for. Instead she just moved out of the doorframe, letting you join her in the hallway. 

“The rest of the team has split up already, would you like to start in the basement?” JJ asked. You had only spoken to her a couple times, briefly at that, but you already found great comfort in her presence; you could see why she held the position, her ability to comfort and connect with others was unbeatable. Definitely need to send JJ a case of wine as a gift. 

You nodded dumbly, joining her in the hallway and taking her down towards your basement. Internally, you guessed the little ‘tour’ would only take an hour tops, considering all the little spiels you’d have to give about each room. 

You felt a bit like when you went through airport security or when a police car was on a road you were driving on. That sinking feeling that somehow you were going to get in trouble even though you knew you didn’t have anything to hide. Damn Aaron. His apparent lowly opinion of you was definitely messing with your head. Oh well. 

As you lead JJ towards the basement, you could vaguely hear the other agents throughout the house. A door opening here or the sound of papers rustling over there. You hadn’t exactly asked how they would be able to tell if something was missing or out of place. But honestly? You didn’t really care what the team did in your house, as long as they figured out how the unsub had gotten in there. 

You’d already come to terms with the fact that the unsub had managed to steal your clothes and jewelry, but you just couldn’t shake the fact that he had gotten into your house. Part of you secretly wished he had pick-pocketed you on a busy street or was stealing stuff off a film set instead. It would’ve been equally as bad and creepy and horrifying, but it would’ve been worth still feeling safe in your own house. 

Smacking the lightswitch on the wall behind you, the entire basement became illuminated. “So,” you started, really drawing out the word, “this is the basement. It’s technically one big open floor, but well,” you gestured lazily with your hand, “you can see it’s kinda still split up. There’s a movie room behind those doors right there.” 

JJ stepped ahead of you, walking towards the high windows in the basement. You watched as she ran her fingers along the window edges, carefully going over each one. “Do these open?” She asked, turning back to look at you. 

You quickly shook your head. “They’re mostly just for, like, decoration purposes.” You responded, giving a slight shrug. “I um, I’m not down here much unless I’m having people over. And those stairs we came down are the only way to get in here.” You added, thinking that’d probably be helpful. 

JJ gave you that nice smile again and started towards the movie room. “I’m just gonna look in here real quick and then we can go back upstairs, okay?” 

You stood awkwardly at the bottom of the stairs, rolling back and forth from your heels to your tippy toes, awkwardly playing with your hands in front of yourself. You knew her movie room scan wouldn’t take wrong, there were zero windows in there and no other point of entry besides the door she had walked through. 

Just as you expected, JJ came back out no longer than five minutes later. Once she got closer to you, you turned slowly on your heel and started back up the stairs. “We can start upstairs and then meet the rest of your team on the main level?” You offered.

“Lead the way.” 

“There’s um, two ways to get upstairs. There’s that main staircase you saw in the foyer and also there’s a ‘servants stair’ in the back,” you said, making air quotes with your fingers at the ‘servants stair’ part, “I have people that work in the house sometimes, but it’s not an actual designated staircase for anyone.” You explained, unsure of why you were feeling so anxious. 

“Why don’t we go up using the second set of stairs? Since I’ve already seen the main set.” JJ said. 

You nodded dumbly again, and walked in the direction of the back stairs. Once upstairs, you gave the same room spiel to JJ about six times. This is ‘x’ room, yep those windows can open, nope no one regularly comes into this room, yes the balcony doors do lock from the inside. 

Just as you thought earlier, the little tour took just a couple minutes under an hour. You and JJ were standing in your kitchen, both of you leaning against opposite countertops. According to JJ the whole team had agreed to meet up in your kitchen once they were done with their scans, so it seemed that you two were the first to finish. Also expected. 

You were lucky you hadn’t run into Aaron the entire time. At times you could vaguely hear his voice coming from another room and all that did was pull on your heartstrings and remind you of when the two of you were together. Aside from the sadness factor, you still weren’t sure you could trust yourself to not yell at him as soon as you saw him again. 

“That’s funny.” JJ said amusedly-more to herself than to you-, pulling you out of your thoughts. 

“What is?” You asked. She had moved from her spot by the countertops, to standing in front of your liquor wall, staring up at a bottle you couldn’t quite recognize from your position. 

“Oh, just Agent Hotchner? Out there,” she said, gesturing broadly out to where the rest of the team might be, “he loves this brand of scotch. We joke sometimes that he’d pick it over us if he was given the choice. But apparently it’s super difficult to get. He started getting lucky a few years ago and found a way to buy it, but recently I guess that luck ran out and he hasn’t been able to find it anymore.” 

Your eyes went wide at that. Yes. That scotch was super difficult to get and it was ridiculously expensive. And yes, Aaron loved the stuff. The two of you used to constantly argue over money. He hated that you were always the one paying for everything and had created a ‘rule’ that you weren’t allowed to buy him any gifts. Of course, you managed to find a way around that rule and found that this specific scotch was his gift achilles heel. So, you used to send him a steady supply while also keeping a bottle at your place for the rare occasions he was over. 

“Oh?” You squeaked. 

“Yeah, it’s super rare or something. They only make so many batches a year don’t they?” JJ asked, turning back to look at you. 

You quickly pulled your emotions in when she turned towards you, just giving her your third dumb nod of the day. “Yep, super hard to get. Super super hard. I uh, got as a gift once, I don’t even like the stuff.” 

“You should tell Hotch. I bet he’d pay pretty well for it.” She said with a laugh, shaking her head. Definitely will not be doing that. 

----

Upstairs, Rossi and Hotch were looking through your upstairs office. While your downstairs office was more work based- you stored scripts and had meetings down there, etc.-, your upstairs office was used for your more ‘personal’ work tasks. 

“If the unsub is taking her clothes, we might have better success scoping out her closet. See the potential entry and exit points from her room that the unsub must be taking.” Rossi proposed. 

Hotch nodded at that, putting down the stack of fan mail he’d been flipping through, trying to find any repeats or ‘creepy’ letters. He made a mental note to have Reid come and read through the piles of other mail you had neatly stacked around the room.

Your attention to fanmail had been one of the things that had quickened the process of him falling in love with you. He had had his doubts in the beginning of you relationship- he had stereotyped you for sure-, your age and status giving him somewhat valid concerns that you’d be insanely disconnected from the normal world. You’d proved him wrong in many ways since the beginning, but one of those ways had been the many days you’d call him from this room, reading through every single letter you were sent and always making sure to send a small note back. 

“Good idea, let’s go.” Hotch said. He walked out of office and didn’t think twice, his body automatically walking towards the room a few doors down from your bedroom. You didn’t keep your closet in your bedroom, you had actually put a little couch and sitting room in your bedroom closet space. Instead you’d taken an entire guest room and converted it into a full dressing room/closet that was a better fit for your needs. 

As Hotch went straight into the room, he missed the narrow look Rossi was giving him from the doorframe. It only took a couple minutes, but eventually Hotch looked up, cocking an eyebrow at Rossi. “Are you going to come in?” He questioned. 

“You knew her closet wasn’t in her room.” Rossi noted, amusement clear in his voice. 

Hotch’s face paled, before he steeled his emotions back over. “I saw the clothes while walking past earlier and made the deduction.” 

“She’s pretty, isn’t she Aaron?” Rossi teased, clearly finding a lot of enjoyment in this conversation. 

“Dave,” Hotch groaned, running a hand over his face, “just, not now okay?” He asked, the desperation clear in his voice. 

Rossi certainly didn’t have the entire story figured out, but he wasn’t dumb either, he could piece things together. As much as he’d love to keep busting Hotch over this, there was something about how gentle he had been with you in the conference room and his current clear discomfort that persuaded Rossi otherwise. Rossi grinned at Hotch and raised his hands in mock surrender. 

“So, we know the unsub doesn’t have to necessarily be quiet, her room is at least what, 3-”

“Four and across the hall.” Hotch huffed out, not looking up to meet Rossi’s eyes.

“Four and across the hall away. So he doesn’t need to sneak past her if he’s coming in at night...” 

----

Back in the kitchen, you turned your head at the sound of the back patio doors opening, showing Morgan and Spencer. Guess they’d be the second pair done with their house tour. 

Just as you were about to open your mouth and offer the two of them something to drink, you noticed the rather grim expressions on both their faces. Upon better inspection, you saw Spencer was tightly gripping on to a dirty journal. 

“What’s that?” You asked curiously, trying to get a better look at it. 

“I found this uh, journal out by the edge of your property line. I think it may belong to the unsub.” Reid responded, giving you a tight lipped look. 

It was terribly cliche, but you couldn’t help but gasp at that. Your eyes going wide and your mouth hanging open. 

“I flipped through it, there’s nothing that clearly identifies him, but it seems like he was keeping track of your comings and goings. As well as keeping a list of the things he took from your house, we can cross check that list with-” 

“Can I look at it?” You interjected, a morbid curiosity consuming your mind. 

Reid gave an unsure glance at the two other agents in the room. “I think it’d be better for the rest of the team and I to look through the journal first, and make sure there’s nothing uh...upsetting in it.” 

----

With the new revelations that the unsub had managed to break into your home multiple times, the team decided it would be best for at least one of them to be with you at the house at all times; during the day they would assign a plainclothes officer to discreetly sit watch. It was comical, the way they decided on the watch and then promptly assigned Aaron the first shift of the night. 

You wondered why he agreed to it, knowing he could’ve easily pulled a seniority boss card and taken himself out of any and all future watch shifts as well. He probably didn’t want you to get closer with any of his agents, should you accidentally say something a bit too personal. He also probably assumed that with the late hour of the night, you’d immediately be going to bed or at least locking yourself away in your room for the rest of the night. 

The team had stayed hours after their first walkthroughs of the house, the new list and notes from the unsub giving you all a better idea of what to look for. You had gone through the list of clothes and jewelry in front of the team, giving them a base description of what you assumed the unsub had meant, whether or not you had considered it missing and where you thought you’d last seen it in the house.

Unfortunately, whatever Aaron had been banking on wouldn’t be happening. You hadn’t been able to shake the sinking feeling that your house was no longer a home anymore. It was painfully cheesy, but you knew that trying to sleep would be futile. Nor did you really feel like being ‘alone’ in your room. That didn’t mean you were going to strike up a conversation with Aaron or ask him to play a board game or something, but you wouldn’t be shutting away from the rest of the night. 

After the team left, you had gone upstairs and changed into a more comfortable outfit for the evening; just your trusty sleep shorts and an oversized t-shirt. You were now walking back down the stairs and towards your kitchen; you grasped a lighter and your emergency cigarette pack in one hand. As you made your way into the kitchen, you could feel Aarons eyes on you from wherever he was seated in the living room. You pointedly ignored him, instead setting the pack and lighter down, freeing your hands so you could mix yourself your favorite drink. 

Once your drink was prepped, you balanced all your things in your hands and made your way back through the living room and out the grand French doors that lead to your backyard. You walked over to one of your lounge chairs that overlooked the pool and had a beautiful view of the sky and bright lights of the city. You turned on one of your favorite playlists and made yourself comfy in the chair, lighting up one of the cigarettes. 

With the first inhale, you felt your body relax. It was a horrible habit- you knew that-, but if there was ever a time to stress smoke, you reasoned it was probably now. Over the sound of your music, you faintly heard one of the doors open again, but you didn’t bother turning around. 

“I thought you quit.” Aaron said, quite literally coming out of the shadows. Even though you didn’t turn to look at him, you could perfectly imagine him in your mind; probably leaning up against one of the legs of the cabana, arms tightly crossed and a deep scowl on his face. 

“I did.” You replied plainly, blowing a steady stream of smoke out of your mouth. Using your free hand you picked your glass back off the chair side table, twirling it slowly. As you took a long sip, you could hear Aaron walk closer, not quite coming into view yet. 

“Drinking and abusing substances in response to a traumatic situation is widely frowned upon. 

“Thank you Surgeon General,” you said, rolling your eyes before adding, “no offense Agent, but right now, I don’t really think it matters.” You didn’t even bother attempting to argue that you were on your first drink and first smoke. 

“It matters, when my team will be counting on you tomorrow. The expectation is that you’ll be a useful and legitimate resource.” Aaron said, voice tight. 

“Do you really think I’m dumb enough to actually believe, that you believe that a single drink is going to render me useless?” You asked, finally turning your head so you could give him a pointed look. When he didn’t answer you rolled your eyes again, turning back away from him. “It doesn’t matter, Agent, I’m unavailable to be a resource tomorrow.” 

“What do you mean, unavailable?” Aaron asked. He finally walked into view, sitting down on the chair next to you. He positioned his legs over the edge facing you, resting his elbows off his knees. 

“What do you mean unavailable?” You said mockingly- the alcohol in your system and stress of the day emboldening your behavior. You paused for a moment to take another drag from your cigarette; Aaron didn’t miss the way you turned your head further from him during your exhale. “You have your job Agent, I have mine.” 

“There is a dangerous free man out there with a special interest in you. He’s not only managed to break into your house but is also murdering surrogate women in place of you,” he said, voice growing louder as he went, “and you think you should go to a film set? How immature and irresponsible are-” 

“Stop doing that!” You cut him off, snapping your head to face him. For a brief moment, you were taken aback by how close he’d been sitting. “Stop painting me to be some dumb self centered girl. This is the fourth time today.” You said, staring him hard in the face, neither of your breaking eye contact. He always looked so good with a beard- stop that. 

“I’m trying to do my job and protect you,” he paused, eyes scanning your face, “I couldn’t handle anything happening to you.” In that moment, his voice was so painfully honest and it almost made you want to agree to do whatever dumb rules he had for you. 

Almost.

Instead, you swung your legs to the side of the chair opposite to him, standing up in a quick blur of motion. “Stop doing that too!” You exclaimed, running your free hand over your face. You took a long drag from your cigarette, placing one hand on your hip. Aaron was giving you a genuinely confused look and you just wanted to wipe it off in one big swipe. “Stop doing some weird little bait and switch between acting like I’m a diva and then trying to end it with some vaguely little sweet comment.” 

“You actually think I don’t care about your safety?” Aaron asked, the faintest bit of hurt in his voice. He stood up as well before continuing. “You think this isn’t a difficult case for me?” 

“You do not get to do that!” You said angrily, pointing a free finger out at him. “You are not allowed to try and make yourself a victim in this story while you simultaneously make me part of the problem. How the hell can you see yourself as even remotely ‘good’ when you left the way you did?” There it was. Maybe it was immature, dragging the breakup into the argument, but the days’ tension- not to mention the months of bottled up emotions- was finally snapping inside of you. 

“If you’re upset over how I ended our relationship, that is completely separate from the dealings of the case and I expect you to be able to conduct yourself appropriately.” Aaron said and you thought that this must be what ‘seeing red’ meant. 

“Do you treat all your witnesses like this?” You were full on yelling now, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. “Is this your version of appropriate conduct, Agent Hotchner? You’ve proven to be nothing but incompetent! You can’t even see two inches past your own fucking face to consider this from my perspective!” 

Your words had their intended effect. Aaron’s face fell for the briefs of moments before years of bottling his own emotions took back over. You had to give him some credit for keeping it, outwardly, more together than you were. “I won't fight with you over something as trivial as this. You’ll report to the station in the morning with the rest of the team.” He ordered, voice dangerously low. 

“I have to work!” You exclaimed, putting heavy emphasis on each word. 

“Going to work isn’t safe. Do you understand that? Your stalker is well acquainted with your schedule, you need to step away from what’s expected of you. It’s dangerous-”

“Oh my god,” you groaned, shaking your head, “are you even listening to yourself? Your job is dangerous every single day, hell you didn’t even step away when the job was dangerous specifically to you! How am I supposed to take advice you can’t even follow?” At the end of your sentence, you angrily stubbed out your cigarette in the ashtray, leaving the butt in the tray. 

“This isn’t about me.” Aaron snapped, voice loudest it’d been all night. “I’m trying to keep you safe. What part of that don’t you understand?” He asked, giving you a tough look. You found yourself at a loss for words and he took your silence as an opening to continue. “I can’t stand to see you get hurt.”

“Are you finally understanding how exhausting it was to love you!” You blurted out, the words catching even you by surprise. You forcibly blinked back the tears forming your eyes. “That this, is how I felt each time you were called away on a case?” 

Aaron was equally as shocked, his mouth opening in vain a few times as he searched for the proper response. “I made sure you were properly aware of the risks and demands of my job before we started our relationship.” Bad answer.

“And I never complained,” you replied, a defeated tone creeping into your voice, “not once, did I?”

“If you’re going to accuse me of hypocrisy, you should recognize it in yourself. You were equally if not more in demand than I was.” 

“I thought you liked that I was so ‘in demand’!” You said, the frustration growing again. “What was it you always said? You liked not having to worry about me alone at home, waiting up for you.” 

“You’re coming to the station tomorrow Y/N. Final order.” Aaron repeated, completely ignoring your last statement. 

“You know what,” you said, the fight in your voice gone, “I don’t have to put up with this and your lame attempts at trying to be a good guy. I’m not having this conversation anymore.” You quickly leaned over to swipe your cigarette pack and glass of the little table. 

“Are you actually going to run away from this?” He asked, almost as if he was trying to bait you back into the argument.

You scoffed loudly, staring him dead in the eyes. “You did.” 

You angrily walked around him, nearly stomping the entire way to the door. As you were halfway into the house you paused for a moment, not even slightly turning your head back towards him. “Blankets are still in the same spot in the living room.” You said, slamming the door behind you as soon the sentence left your lips. 

-----

The next morning, promptly at 8am, an email from your agent was sent to Aaron. It was incredibly petty and inherently personal, but to an outsider it was nothing out of the ordinary for someone of your status. Aaron was near furious, as expected, but even in his stubbornness he could see you had the high ground. Long story short, the email plainly stated vaguely threatened that if your work schedule were to become an issue for the team, you could easily send a ‘spokesperson’ from your team to deal with any and all future communications. Y/N 2, Aaron Hotchner 0.

Back at your house, you were having a lovely morning. The victory tasted sweet in your mouth as you got yourself ready for the long day. Sometime around 4:00AM Reid had switched out with Aaron and the two of you were currently in your kitchen; Reid sitting at one of your countertop stools while you stood over the stove. After being angrily informed by Aaron that you wouldn’t be required to come into the station with Reid, you decided to make a simple breakfast for the two of you. Reid had wanted to leave sooner, but he was also under orders to not leave you alone until you were safely in your own car and on your way.

You weren’t sure how he felt, but you thought you and Reid got along quite well. He was the closest in age to you and even though he didn’t really seem to understand any of the little jokes or references you made, there was still some level of mutual understanding there. It didn’t hurt that he was quite easy on the eyes as well, of course he wasn’t Aaron by any means- stop that! 

Over breakfast, you spent the entire time answering Reid’s many questions about various actors and actresses he was a fan of. Lucky boy, you thought; as all the people he mentioned were quite nice even when the camera was off. What was it that people said about never meeting your hero? 

He graciously offered to do all the clean up, as you had cooked, which gave you a bit of extra time to make sure you were ready to go. When you both were ready and Reid had confirmed the plainclothes officer was positioned on your street, he helped you to your car. 

With one hand on the top of your car, just as you were about to sit down, you stopped and turned to Reid. “I enjoyed breakfast, would you please tell Agent Hotchner how sorry I am that my schedule’s gotten in the way?” You asked, giving him your sweetest smile. It was another petty move and Aaron was sure to see right through it; the team had amazing skills at reading people, you knew that, but you were an equally talented actress. “I’ll make sure to let you guys know when I’ll be back at home tonight.” You added, before sliding into your car. Reid closed the door gently behind you, waving from the outside of your garage as you pulled out and drove off. 

-----

Case wise, the next two days were quiet. You had won the ‘going to work battle’ by a longshot and happily went about your scheduled days. Aaron hadn’t taken another watch shift since the argument, something you were grateful for. It wasn’t until the fourth day, that the case started to pick up again.

“Agent Hotchner?” A young officer stepped into the conference room, holding out a thick manila envelope. “This was just dropped off at the front desk, addressed to you.” That certainly captured the entire team’s attention; every head turning, as if off on a swivel, to face the officer. 

“Who dropped it off?” Hotch demanded. ‘Who dropped it off?” He repeated, an added aggression in his voice. 

“Some kid! Some kid dropped it at the front and left before anyone could get a word out!” The officer said hurriedly, raising one of his hands up in a meek surrender. 

Hotch stepped up to the officer, easily snatching the envelope out of his hands. “Assure that my technical analyst has access to your entire security feed. Now.” He ordered, not giving the officer as a second glance. “Morgan, call Garcia and make sure she accesses those tapes and identifies the kid immediately.” 

Hotch went back to standing in front of the long table in the middle of the room, setting the envelope down in front of him. “Gloves, I need-” A pair were placed in his outstretched hand by Reid before he could finish. “I don’t want anyone touching anything that comes out of here without gloves, understood?” He said, not looking at anyone in particular. His focus, completely drawn to the angry penmanship that spelled out his name. After quickly pulling his gloves all the way on, Hotch grabbed the envelope again, internally shoving down his emotions before ripping off the top edge in one clean pull. Nothing could have prepared him for the way the envelope was overflowing with hundreds of photos of you. He tilted the envelope and they all came falling out, covering the table in front of him. Reid mentally estimated there were over five hundred photos of you- some seemed to be cut, some looked to have writing and designs on them- and there were even a few slips of paper thrown in the mix. 

“Hotch, Garcia managed to grab the plate from what the kid drove off in. She's running it-” Morgan said, his sentence running off as he took in the table full of photos. “Holy shit.” He said quietly, making his way closer to the table as well. 

Hotch reached down, picking up the closest photo to him. There you were, standing on a boardwalk with your hand blocking the sun from your eyes. You looked beautiful- stop that. As Hotch further studied the photo, he picked up a second one, taking another good look. It struck Hotch and the team then, the majority of the photos were grossly intimate; as if the unsub had taken them by himself. Hotch’s stomach twisted when his eyes fell on a photo that looked like you were posing for it, throwing a big smile and peace sign up at the camera. 

“Did Garcia get any hits on any scorned lovers?” Emily asked, holding up a photo of you and a man. The face and body of the man had been aggressively scratched over and cut up, but Aaron had a sinking feeling it was of him. 

“Yea, I got another potential ex photo right here.” Reid said, holding up another picture. In this one you had clearly been looking up at someone, but the photo had been crudely cut up to exclude whoever it was. 

Morgan held up one of the slips of papers, giving it a confused look. “You lost Aaron?” He said, reading off the paper. “What’s the reasoning for singling out Hotch rather than someone closer to her age like Reid” He questioned, not expecting anyone to answer. 

“I got one of Hotch’s face scribbled over. He must’ve gotten the photo online.” Emily added, holding up a professional headshot of Hotch. “Is anyone seeing photos of the rest of us? The unsub could see all of us as interfering with his connection to Y/N.” 

Hotch’s stomach was twisted in all different directions. He knew the moment of truth was coming and was internally cursing himself for not coming clean sooner. But that paled in comparison to the sickness he felt over the unsub clearly being someone who had such personal access to you. He was certain that some of these photos dates back years. The idea that whoever was doing this had been so close to you, for so long, could’ve brought him to his knees. 

“Hotch…” JJ said, her voice accusatory. She looked up at him, face a mix of confusion and a hint of betrayal. She held up another photo and the entire team went quiet. This photo was clearly taken at a distance, but there you were looking lovingly up at a man who was certainly Hotch. 

Hotch had one hand clenched tightly on the edge of the table, taking a deep breath before he looked up at his agents staring expectantly at him.  

“I haven’t been completely honest with you all,” Hotch started, running his free hand over his face, “I met Y/N five years ago and we were together for three, until I ended things.” He was sure someone had audibly gasped at that. “I know you all may have various concerns over my proximity to the case and are valid in any anger you may feel towards me. But right now, I need to go call Y/N and make sure she’s safe.” 

Hotch didn’t give anyone a chance to reply, instead whipping out his phone and near running out the door. Leaving a team of confused and shocked agents in his wake.

-----

a/n - of course, thank you all for reading. it means the world to me! also just the quickest of shoutouts to @kylorendrip and @ssahoodrathotchner who both constantly put up with my writing complaints and all the random ideas i bounce around their dms on the daily. 

taglist - @mac99martin @iwaizumiee @kylorendrip @hqtchner @lieswithoutfairytales @ssahoodrathotchner @midsummernightdream @weasleylovers @evans-dejong @itsmytimetoodream @yoshigguk @28cnn @cuddlyklaus @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @yallgotkik @sunflowersandotherthings @alexrodriguez1269

no permission is given to copy or republish my writing on any other platform or account. if you see this story outside of my blog or my ao3 it is stolen work. i do not own nor claim to own criminal minds or any of the character involved in it.

[lilhawkeye3]

This Ohio discourse has got me dying to create discourse about every other state now hehe so I officially present:

Hawk’s review of 36/50 US states!

In alphabetical order because that fuckin song “50 nifty United States” has been stuck in my head since fourth grade.

Arizona: Phoenix is hot. Can’t believe y’all choose to live in a place that gets haboobs. Saw Sen. John McCain in the airport. I feel that sums up the state well. 4/10

California: as a resident of the state of Oregon, I’m legally required to say fuck California😌 unless anyone else talking shit about Cali and then we got your back😤 SoCal vs San Fran vs Northern Cal are totally different worlds though. 7/10

Colorado: damn idk how y’all breathe there, them air is thin. But really pretty out there! 7/10

Connecticut: oh my god fuck New Haven. And Stamford, and Hartford, and— Yknow what? Let’s just toss the whole state into the Sound. For real, traffic is the WORST here and I’m so sorry that y’all gotta live like that. 3/10

Delaware: I cannot believe this is considered a state. There’s no difference between Delaware and Maryland/Pennsylvania. 1/10 should not be a state

Florida: “the only hills in Florida are the highway ramps and the Matterhorn!” —the shuttle driver at Disney World. He was right. Shit is flat as fuck here. And hot. And humid. The Gulf Coast is nice? But tbh it’s just all very touristy which is kind of a bummer. 5/10

Georgia: ...I can’t with the humidity or thinly veiled racism. But y’all got nice peaches! Also Black Panther filmed there so thank you for blessing us with that. 6/10 for fruits

Hawaii: okay pineapple farms are cool. Tbh I just feel really bad for how much mainlander/tourist bs all the islanders put up with. Ik price of living is v high and keeps going up. That said I did love Hawaii... although I was stung by a jellyfish. Hate those little bastards. 8/10 for wonderful people and nature

Idaho: as an Oregonian I’m required to also say fuck Idaho 😝 you da hoes. Okay for real tho southern Idaho has become v white white and kinda scary tbh. The northern part of the state is pretty chill tho. Also Oreida kettle chips are partly made in Idaho so I gotta give you half credit for that. 4/10

Illinois: at least you’re not Indiana. 4/10.

Indiana: I never want to step foot in Gary, Indiana again in my life. (Passed a Mack truck hauling a race car to Indy 500 though so that was cool.) 2/10

Iowa: I almost moved here. I’m so glad I didn’t. Why are the Quad Cities actually a group of five towns? I hate that. Also the roads were all cement, felt like driving on a sidewalk. Was also interesting because the second we got out of the city proper, it was just... corn fields everywhere. 2/10 y’all raising children of the corn.

Kentucky: I really don’t have anything to say about Kentucky. I thought the trees were pretty? 5/10 yeah idk

Maine: my relative has totaled two cars by hitting moose in Maine. Maine scares me. Or rather, the moose do. Also the lobster roll hype is real. And the coast truly is beautiful. 8/10 but an extra point for the moose bc I hate that relative so 9/10

Maryland: oh god Baltimore. Also I’m blaming you for the DC traffic because it’s on the land you gifted them. 3/10

Massachusetts: Patriots fans are the worst NFL fans (the racism is real, especially after fans burned the jerseys of Black players who knelt for the anthem). Liking Dunkin’ Donuts is not a personality trait. The North End in Boston is truly the best place to get pizza in the entire country. Western Mass is not the same state. And the Cape Cod bridges give me nightmares. 5/10 but cause I had to pay taxes two years and it really is Taxachusetts, knocking it down to 4/10

Michigan: it’s a lot bigger than I initially thought. 5/10

Minnesota: it’s Canada but in the US. Pretty driving through the southern part. Cops suck tho. 5/10

Montana: okay Montana is downright gorgeous. (Except Billings. Sorry, Billings.) I must include a photo. I wanna get a cabin here and just exist. 8/10

New Hampshire: can’t decide if it hates Massachusetts or wants to be Massachusetts. All it knows is that it’s better than Vermont. Which... y’know, valid. (If you wanna see NH culture watch North Woods Law tbh). 4/10

New Jersey: why are there so many goddamn highways in this state? Also there are more places to weekend trip than the Shore or the Poconos. Although you do have people pump gas for you just like Oregon, so... that’s valid. Things my friends have added: Newark airport is cursed (valid), the jughandles are nightmares (true), pork roll/Taylor Ham is good and so are bagels and New Jersey pizza (allergic so idk), and everyone is split on whether the shore is actually decent or not 😂 I give it a 3.5/10 out of spite

New York: NYC is fun, Upstate is MASSIVE but really beautiful. Long Island is... yeah I don’t have anything nice to say about Long Island. 8/10 For NYC, 6/10 for Upstate, -2/10 for Long Island, gives us an average of 6/10

North Carolina: very good peaches. Isn’t South Carolina. Keep it up👍🏽 6/10

Ohio: I already told y’all how I feel about this flat ass boring state. I feel no need to slander it any more lmao. 3/10

Oregon: she flies with her own wings, mi amor🥰 to list all the reasons I like Oregon (and the issues too bc it ain’t perfect), I would need a whole other post. I’ll just leave you with this picture I took of Mt. Hood, the queen of our Cascades. 11/10

Pennsylvania: so apparently PN is three states hiding in a trench coat like NY. There’s upstate, philly and Pittsburg. Personally I think they’re just trying too hard and wanna get the same recognition as NY. Meh. 5/10

Rhode Island: THIS FUCKIN SHAM OF A STATE Just merge it with Connecticut and be done with it!! It’s tiny. Providence sucks. There’s nothing unique about this state that you can’t find in Southern Mass (except MA has cheaper taxes so y’all come to work and shop in MA anyways smh). Also the fingers are really annoying to drive down to get to some beach areas haha. 2/10 you’re barely better than Delaware.

South Carolina: my Black father was invited to a party celebrating General Robert E Lee’s birthday. So... 0/10

South Dakota: very gorgeous, didn’t realize the Missouri River went this far west, but VERY LARGE. I mean it looks big on a map but then you get there and... yeah. No speed limit on highways is a great time though. And the Badlands have mountain goats! 6/10 bc while pretty, living there seems really hard. (Picture is me in the Badlands).

Texas: gave us Juneteenth and Beyoncé and JJ Watts. Thank you Texas. But is very big, got independence from Mexico to keep slavery (yikes), is like 97% private land (yikes) and is like the second or third largest state. Very big. That said, everyone I’ve ever met from Texas is lovely. 6/10.

Utah: Other than Idaho, this is the whitest state I’ve been to. Or it feels that way. Like a, the people crossed to the other side of the street and held their bags because I’m brown, state. And I don’t ski so I can’t even say that’s a good thing (I fell off the ski lift the one time I went, long story). Yeah 0/10.

Vermont: wants to be New Hampshire or Canada and can’t decide which. So it’s just kinda there. Pretty hills though. 3/10

Virginia: let’s be real we all forget that Virginia exists west of Richmond. Nova is a beauracratic and traffic nightmare and half our neighbors had to pass security clearance checks. Hampton Roads and beach area is a tourist and mosquito nightmare. But there were dolphins and I made snowmen on the beach. Good times. 6.7/10

Washington: again, legally required as an Oregon resident to say fuck Washington because it’s all your fault we now are getting a toll on the I-5 border. But you’re better than California. And the Sound is really cool for fishing, love Wicked Tuna. And the fish market. Best salmon I’ve had. Eastern Washington... y’all got Spokane but the rest is kinda sparse. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 8/10

Wisconsin: cheese is actually good. Again, pretty state, much larger than I initially thought. 7/10

Wyoming: this was the ONLY STATE I lost cell service in when diriving cross country. Kinda surprised it wasn’t Montana, but no, it was Wyoming. Views are gorgeous though so I was distracted either way. 4/10

Thank you for joining me on this cross-country edition of Tea Time with Hawk. Please respond with any reactions, corrections, addendums about any and all of the states mentioned. And thank you for taking part in this wholesome Clone Wars fandom discourse with me 🥰💕

DISCLAIMER: THESE RATINGS ARE ALL A JOKE PLEASE DO NOT ACTUALLY GET MAD ABOUT IT

[itsuki-minamy]

“K - SIX IDOLS”

CHAPTER 1: “SPRINT DREAM” (Complete)

Translation: Naru-kun Raws: Ridia

"Good morning ladies and gentlemen."

"Good Morning!"

A pure voice echoes through the Kendo hall of "Promotion Scepter 4".

Many remains of that remain, in the office that was created with the remodeling of the old Army facilities. The Kendo hall is one of them, and the idols belonging to "Scepter 4" sometimes take lessons there and other times hold their swords in their hands.

And at the beginning of the week, there was always an instruction from the president, the "Idol Blue King", Reisi Munakata.

Munakata makes a soft voice in front of the idols lined up in a "rest" position.

"By the way, this week is the biggest event of the year for my production, "Sprint". The "Dream Live Tour" will take place. I hope to have the encouragement of each member so that no preparation or lesson is neglected."

"Yes!"

The responses of the idols are not disturbed. More than an entertainment bureau, the closer rigor to the police or the military was due to the nature of representative Reisi Munakata, and it was also a feature of "Promotion Scepter 4".

The group's glasses glowed brightly, staring at an idol.

"But recently, I have received some concerns, Andy Domyoji-kun. Go ahead."

"Yes!"

Domyoji, who was called by name, screamed to death. From his normally cheerful face, blood is drawn in the blink of an eye.

Domyoji took a heavy step and stepped out in front of the superior.

There is no anger in Munakata's expression. A slight smile floats on the sleek face like a statue. That doesn't mean that Domyoji and the other idols were relieved that they didn't understand the superior.

It was a man named Reisi Munakata, who sentenced to death with a smile.

"Domyoji-kun. The other day, there was a report that you were 5 minutes and 27 seconds late for the entire "Gyumetai" lesson. Is this true?"

"Actually, that's…"

"What is an idol in "Promotion Scepter 4"?"

"Ah, idols aim to be the ideal humans who should become the norm for people..."

"Do you have your own excuse for being late, knowing that?"

"No, I'm sorry..."

Domyoji is drooling. It was like a prosecution and a defendant, but in this case it was a military trial rather than an ordinary court. The sentence is already decided from the beginning, and this exchange is only a ritual.

Munakata acts like he's convinced of something,

"Ok. Let's ask Domyoji-kun to do one of the highlights of the "Sprint Dream Live Tour", "Extreme solo part, Idol from above 6500~”."

"What?"

With a strange voice, Domyoji's expression was frozen in despair. Munakata smiles and touches his shoulder intimately.

"As you know, "Extreme Solo Part" is one of the most popular projects on "Countdown Dissolution, Shoumutai". This time it's a solo part while skydiving from an altitude of 2,000 meters, so his brave figure will be a great copy on the big screen."

"President, please! That's! Just forgive me!"

"What do you say? This is your chance to get more fans. And if you're at the mercy of your life, you won't be late for lessons."

Munakata treats Domyoji, who clings to his eyes, with a smiling smile. The idols are silently staring at the horrible sight.

"Kindness is called haste. Let's start the special training today. Akiyama-kun, Benzai-kun, please take him to the office to complete the procedure."

"Yes!"

The same members of the "Shoumutai", Himori Akiyama and Yujiro Benzai, grabbed Domyoji crying from both sides. Domyoji screams while ruffling his hair.

"Not! I don't like the "Extreme solo part"! Akiyama, Benzai, I am a posterity, so don't miss out!"

"Hold on, Domyoji."

"Oh. Get angry and train. Hopefully you won't die."

Domyoji was dragged out of the Kendo room.

When the door closed, Munakata saw the idols lined up. All the idols looked at Munakata with a better attitude than before.

Munakata says, looking at him with satisfaction.

"Don't be late either. As members of society and as idols who should be a human norm, please respect that."

"Yes!"

The voice of the idols who responded contained a desperate sound.

++++++++++

"Sorry, President! I can't make it on time!"

The driver's scream also contains a desperate sound.

As he listened to him in the backseat, Munakata gracefully reassembled his legs, put his hand to his jaw, and muttered, "Hmm."

"Sprint Dream Live Tour", first day, 4:52 pm.

Munakata's transport vehicle got caught in heavy traffic filling the road and got stuck at all.

Until the day before, Munakata was planning a large-scale live concert in London as part of the overseas expansion of "Promotion Scepter 4". The big picture and charisma of Reisi Munakata, the "Idol King", managed to shake up the stubborn management of the French entertainment world. A few hours ago he won a partnership and a contract in the EU and returned triumphantly to Narita airport.

From the transport vehicle, Munakata continued to instruct the "Sprint Dream Live Tour". Back home. Although he has a difficult schedule of immediate events, he does not have fatigue or mistakes. There was a figure like: the perfect idol king.

It was in the time after Sakura's exchange that the news of the accident and jamming arrived.

Fortunately, no one died, but traffic was completely paralyzed. A line of cars continues towards the horizon, and it takes 30 minutes to finally reach 100 meters. Literally, he was forced into a state of immobility.

If nothing is done, the big event that is approaching a few hours later, will expose the mistake that the "Idol King" will be late.

In such a critical situation, however, there was no impatience in Reisi Munakata's expression.

"Ok."

Munakata says cheerfully to the driver reflected in the rearview mirror.

"I understand the situation. Please, I'll get off at the next intersection."

"But it will take 30 minutes to get there and, according to traffic information, the situation is similar on the lower road."

"It doesn't matter. In the meantime, let's get ready."

Munakata took his PDA out of his pocket and made a call. Munakata's trusted deputy director responded with two calls. It's Awashima Seri.

"Where is he now, President?"

"Currently, we are targeting a four-way interchange. It will take about 30 minutes to get there. I am planning to get out of here."

"That is…"

Awashima groaned. Even if he can get off the four road interchange, it will take more than an hour from there to the location, regardless of the mode of transportation. Since the show started at 6:30 pm, arrival on time is desperate.

After a few seconds of silence, Awashima's voice regained its composure.

"I would like to review the song list. The current program is to start with the president's number at the same time the performance begins, but we will correct this to start from "Shoumutai" and put the president's turn as far back as possible."

"Rejected."

Munakata categorically blocked her.

“Changing the song list will cut the rhythm of the fans. As idols, we shouldn't give fans any kind of anxiety."

"However! If this continues…!"

"I will be on time."

"......"

Awashima lost the words.

He was not surprised by Munakata's recklessness. She knows more than anyone what kind of person Munakata is and what kind of idol he is. He's never the type to talk about the impossible and break the plan.

If Reisi Munakata says that he can do it, he certainly can do it even if all other humans can't.

The next time Awashima opened her mouth, there was a determined intention.

"So, President. Please give us instructions."

A satisfied smile reached Munakata's mouth.

And 30 minutes later.

As soon as all contacts were completed, the transport vehicle passed the toll booth.

The lower street was still full of cars. Since Munakata hated traffic, he analyzed the situation. Progress is not much different from high speed.

However, that is no longer relevant to Munakata.

Because this is the end of the transport vehicle.

When he got out of the vehicle, the driver's seat window was opened. The driver looks from there and says...

"President, I wish you good luck."

Munakata smiled calmly at the young driver.

"Yes. Please drive carefully and come back."

That said, the next moment, Munakata was on the run.

With a forward leaning sprint style, Munakata is steadily increasing in speed. He reached a row of cars that couldn't move like a tombstone, and finally couldn't see his back.

Even after that, the conductor continued to pour his longing eyes beyond the horizon where Munakata disappeared. Holding on his chest the driver's cap that he took off as a sign of respect.

++++++++++

That day, Kazumasa Hatanaka (19) was driving his favorite Hara Chari.

He is in an unprecedented mood because he was able to finish his work early. The construction company he works for has been working hard these days, but yesterday they calmed down and was able to pay him. Hatanaka, who worked especially hard, was allowed to return home as the president had a special plan that day.

Akemi Hatanaka (18), a heavy wife, waits at home. Just thinking about it will loosen the origin of Hatanaka. When he wondered if he could serve his beloved wife and a child he had yet to see, his tired body mysteriously strengthened.

(Oh, that's right. Should I contact her to get back to Akemi soon?)

Suddenly, Hatanaka took out his mobile phone while driving the Hara Chari. He tries to send a message to his wife using one hand to handle and one hand to write.

Was when…

"You…"

"Oh?"

Hatanaka was about to fall due to the noise surrounding his ears. The body, which was about to slalom, was held by an outstretched hand and returned to its original trajectory.

While running to Hatanaka's side, the bespectacled man yells in a soft voice.

"It is a violation of the Road Traffic Law to use a mobile phone while driving."

"Uh, oh, sorry."

“In addition, it has already exceeded the legal speed of motorized bicycles. Wear your helmet correctly. It is meant to protect your life."

"Ah, hey, uh, yeah, sorry."

Hatanaka, who was once feared for being a "Chitaka mad dog", simply admitted his guilt not because he understood the accuracy of the words of the man with the glasses. This is because he was upset and scared by Hara Chari's run and the appearance of a man running side by side on only his own feet.

The man with the glasses smiled at Hatanaka's stunned face.

"Okay. If you follow the law and try to drive safely, you won't make driving mistakes like you do now."

(No, no, I'm going to be mad now because you called me. Do you want them to tell you that driving safely is something like running at that speed?)

The word never left Hatanaka's mouth at last. The man with the glasses raised his hand slightly and said, "Excuse me, bye." and then sped up and disappeared from Hatanaka's sight.

Hatanaka was stunned as he slowed the Hara Chari to 30 km / h.

(Is that so? I wonder if the god of the road advised me...)

There is a yellow light ahead. It stopped at the stop line correctly where it would normally cut, and the director took control.

(From now on, I will drive safely.)

++++++++++

That day, Nami Sakai (6) looked at the giant tree with tears in her eyes.

A blue balloon is stuck in a tree branch. It was in the hands of Nami just a few minutes ago, and in the hands of her beloved grandmother ten minutes ago.

Nami felt like a treasure when she received the blue balloon from her grandmother's wrinkled hand. She would take it home, about 10 minutes on foot, and she rushed to show it to her mother, but she accidentally fell off.

The balloon, which was detached from Nami's hand, floated in the sky and was blown away by the wind. She got trapped in a giant tree.

The giant tree has a height of about 10 meters. The blue balloon got caught near the top. Even if she asked the adults who passed by to take it, they just laughed and shook their heads.

Can't she get it again?

Every time she thought about it, she was filled with regret, sadness and guilt, and it turned into tears and appeared in Nami's eyes.

When the tears were about to break, Nami suddenly noticed something approaching from a distant road.

(Eh?)

In her childhood thoughts, Nami makes such a judgment.

In fact, in the distance it was like a colored wind. If she thinks it were there, it is way ahead. Nami stared at the blue breeze, which flowed without shaking her side, for a while, forgetting her sadness.

Suddenly…

With that wind, the eyes met.

The moment she thought that, he was already in front of her. When he stopped, the wind was not the wind, but a grown man with glasses. The skin is white like a woman and the facial features are beautifully groomed.

For some embarrassed reason, Nami looked down at her toes. The voice of a kind man spills over her.

"Do you have any problem?"

Nami looks at the man.

When she looked into the eyes behind the glasses, she felt like she was being sucked into the deep sky.

Nami opens her mouth to be fascinated.

"I cannot do it."

The man looks at the balloon at the point. Nami looked away and turned down. She was sure this person couldn't do it, and like everyone else, he would laugh and say "Give up", she felt such disappointment in her small chest.

But the man said in a nonsensical tone.

"Please wait a bit."

The man was already kicking the ground when she turned her face away.

He clings to the trunk of the huge tree and climbs up when he's ready. He deftly found the dents and bumps that could be called a steps, and in the blink of an eye he reached the top and took the blue balloon in his hand.

Nami was looking at the man who came down the same way, her mouth hanging open.

"Here it is."

Although he offered her the balloon, she was unable to receive it for a time. Then, finally picking it up, she asked with all her courage.

"Oni-chan... what?"

If you translate those boring words into something that makes more sense, it would mean something like "That move was out of the ordinary, who are you?"

The man accurately grasped the meaning of the question, smiled a little,

"I am an idol."

He responded like this.

Nami didn't really understand what an "idol" was. She blinks and look at the man. With a smile on his face, the man reached into his pocket and handed Nami a card.

"If you grow a little, come see us live."

The words "Promotion Scepter 4, President Reisi Munakata" were written there.

Of course, Nami can't read the card. She doesn’t even know about the existence of a business card. However, she thought the blue-tinted card was beautiful. Blue was Nami's favorite color.

Nami finally remembered what she should say to the man who gave her something nice and got back what she wanted back.

"Thank you."

"You are welcome. Well, I'm going."

The man bowed, turned blue again, and ran down the road.

Nami won't forget him forever.

++++++++++

An hour after the start of "Sprint Dream Live", the heat in the Tsubakimon Dome was visibly increasing. At the same time as the entrance began, a group of fans flowed into the audience seats like a flood, and they began to furnish the place with posters, posters and items with each of the recommended men drawn. At the same time, fans are excited about the upcoming festival and are looking at the stage with shining eyes.

To meet that expectation, a scene similar to a battlefield was unfolding in the backyard of the stage.

"The president has arrived at Shikaido Station! We will move on to Sequence B!"

"The target has been set at point B! We will wait until the president picks it up!"

In the temporary monitor room with the sign "Headquarters for the execution of the president's return plan", a part of the backyard, reports were constantly being raised.

The purpose of this headquarters is to fully support the return of Munakata. The staff involved are elite to make the "return plan" successful, from organizing and contacting various locations, managing the schedule, passing on traffic information and understanding Munakata's current position.

In one of the compounds in the panel, his current position is always displayed by the Munakata PDA tracking system. Awashima asks the staff while looking at them with a tight gaze.

"What is the progress of the plan?"

"It is 2 minutes and 15 seconds late, but it is within expectations. Currently, the Sequence C execution unit is moving. We will get to Point C on time."

"So…"

Awashima occupies a small area and looks at the monitor.

The plan is going well. At this rate, he can be in time for the opening ceremony, even if it's at the last minute. Unless something unexpected happens.

"Deputy Director Awashima."

Awashima looks around in a loose voice, rolling her shoulders.

Fushimi Saruhiko was as if he was leaning against the monitor room door.

He is the star idol of "Promotion Scepter 4", which is the center of the popular "Shoumutai" unit. Many fans were fascinated by the lonely atmosphere, and about 30% of the customers who packed the dome today are looking for him.

Awashima opens her mouth as she calmly looks at Fushimi.

"Fushimi. You should be in the final stages of doing a "Dream Corps."

"If the president is late, there won't be any 'Shoumutai', right?"

Awashima's beautiful eyebrows drew a dangerous angle.

“The plan is on the right track. You do not have to worry about that."

Fushimi laughs. It was an annoying laugh.

"Isn't there a countermeasure in case we run out of the star? Do you really think he can pull it off?"

"What do you mean?"

Fushimi casually pulled his hand out of his pocket and tossed what he was holding to Awashima. Awashima takes it deftly.

It is a recording medium in the form of a micro card.

"If you don't, I will. I made a new list of songs. If the president is late, I will."

Awashima's expression becomes more and more pronounced in a throwing tone. She squeezes the recording medium and she says quietly.

"Do you think I will receive this?"

"If you don't need it, you can throw it away. I can't bear to expose ourselves to that person's mistakes."

Awashima quickly waved her arm and threw the recording medium back.

"President…"

Fushimi deftly accepts that which came back like a bullet. Awashima, looking at the stagnant eyes behind the glasses as if shooting.

"I will not make any mistakes."

"Sorry."

Fushimi shrugged slightly and went back to his place. Looking back at Awashima over his neck.

"Well, tell me if you need it."

With that alone, Fushimi left the monitor room.

Awashima stared at the monitor room door for a while, staring into his eyes. It's like doing it is a protest against Fushimi.

It's not that she doesn’t understand what Fushimi is saying.

Believing is different from believing blindly. Fushimi's view that he assumes the worst and take countermeasures is entirely correct.

However, Awashima did not receive that song list. She refused to even see it and turned around.

She felt that receiving it would be a distrust of Munakata, who had confirmed that he would be on time.

"The president has reached point C! Collection complete!"

"We have started to move! The plan is going well!"

Awashima muttered unknowingly, listening to the reports that came in one after another.

"President, be careful."

Those words were like a prayer.

++++++++++

That day, Yuri Yamazaki (26) was vaguely in front of Shikaido station.

She works in a product store managed directly by "Promotion Scepter 4". It was supposed to be closed today due to the shift, but she got an urgent call from her boss about 5 minutes ago. She had no particular plan, and she was quick to get to this point because she was drawn to a pretty good vacation assignment.

Anyway, Yuri thinks.

It was a strange call. Being with the bicycle in front of the station instead of the store.

Apparently, they told her to lend the bike to someone, but they did not tell him who to lend it to and only told her the time of the meeting. It would be profitable to get a vacation allowance on this alone, but Yuri checks her cell phone while deeply thinking that she would complain if she was forced to do something else.

Seeing the displayed time, she sighed.

The "Sprint Dream Live Tour" will begin soon. Like most idol shop clerks, she is a fan of “Promotion Scepter 4.” She decided to work at an idol shop because she loved idols.

However, just because she is an employee doesn't mean there are benefits. Controls in that area are tight, and the clerk who secretly secured her own live ticket was sometimes ill. She must take the ticket herself, and if the lottery is lost, the schedule may disappear from the vacation she got, just like the current situation.

Two minutes have passed since the specified time.

"I wonder... if he's late, can I contact him?"

She doesn’t know, the murmur leaks out. After 5 minutes, she will contact the store manager. Thinking of that, she suddenly looked up.

And she doubts her eyes.

Someone was running from the street in front of the station, at tremendous speed. He easily overtook the next bike and came closer. Yuri instinctively tried to back away.

However, when she saw the man's face, she doubted her sanity.

"Ah, President?"

What she unwittingly said was the nickname of Reisi Munakata, the representative of "Promotion Scepter 4" and "Idol King". Naturally, it spread from the case where the idols under his command called him "President."

Faced with the stiff lily, Munakata strode over to a halt. He exhales a little and smiles at Yuri.

"Excuse me, are you a store clerk?"

"Eh, yes!"

Her voice shook. Feel the blood of her entire body concentrate on her face. The reason is that Yuri Yamazaki's favorite idol is Reisi Munakata.

Half in panic, she yells out the questions that come to mind.

"But why are you here?! What happened to the 'Sprint Dream Live Tour'?"

"I'm having a little problem and I've taken a different route than normal. Don't worry, I'll be in time for the opening."

She felt as if the blood that had risen through her head was coming down this time.

In other words, it is an emergency. Yuri was a fan and she knew how confusing it would be to be late for the opening ceremony. Perplexity, pain, disappointment. Just imagining being there, the pain felt like its own.

Yuri rushes up and says.

"Is there anything I can do?!"

“Lend me the bicycle. It's enough."

Yuri blushed again. If she thinks about it again, it was probably all part of the plan coming here. It is not a feat for the Munakata representative to give instructions to the directly administered office.

"Please..."

"Thank you."

Munakata straddled the bike without showing any pretense of noticing Yuri's tension. Somehow, it was an unattainable sight. The King of Idols, who can only be seen on TV or on stage, sits astride her bike.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going."

"Oh, yeah!"

Yuri instinctively stopped Munakata who was trying to get out.

Munakata looks at Yuri with his foot on the pedal. She held her breath with a mysterious look.

("Please sign.")

She had to desperately suppress that desire that came to her mind. Hasn’t she just found out it's an emergency? There is no second chance. And yet, unable to say such a silly request, that embarrassment forced Yuri's awkward smile and false words.

"Please do your best. I support you!"

Munakata, however, was looking at Yuri's face with calm eyes that looked through all her smile and strength. Munakata laughed lightly at Yuri, who suddenly became flustered and reached into her pocket.

"What should I write?"

"Eh?"

"I have a pen, but I don't really have colored paper. It's not in good taste with a notepad."

Yuri blinked many times. The feeling of regret, even the time she was wandering and wondering why him could see through her desires made her stiff.

Yuri handed him the PDA she was holding in her outstretched hand to Munakata. With her voice asking "Is it okay here?", she was fascinated by the magically moving pen. She picked up the PDA again, looking at the Munakata signature written there, and it was like a soliloquy.

"Why...?"

"I am an idol."

Munakata's response, as well as their relationship, was open and frozen.

"Idols live up to the expectations of their fans. My job is to capture your expectations."

"......"

"Good luck then. Thank you for your continued support."

With a courteous greeting, Munakata pedaled off the road in no time.

Yuri holds her PDA to her chest while watching him back. She murmured in an emotional voice, promising to turn it into a relic, and she was about to buy a new one.

"President, I will follow you for the rest of my life!"

++++++++++

That day, Yojiro Sato (51) was driving his own high-speed boat and racing in Tokyo Bay.

His main business was fisherman, but he also works as a fishing boat captain as a side job. In any case, the main job is to chase the school of fish, current high-speed boats are used for that purpose.

But today's work was different than usual.

The client was a fishing cooperative and the content of the request was mysterious: "Anyway, I want you to go to Chiba city using a high speed boat." He goes through it several times, but it seems the reason he couldn't get the point was because the fishing cooperative was asked to go further.

Sato accepted it simply because the reward was great. Otherwise, it would not accept suspicious requests.

However, when he passed by the Tokyo Bay Aqualine, he began to regret it.

He doesn't think it's a dangerous story.

It goes without saying that Tokyo is one of the largest cities in the world and Tokyo Bay is a large adjacent port. Many are trying to carry out illegal transactions by sea. Unfortunately, he has heard stories of people involved in such problems at the level of rumors.

He's been through the fishing cooperative, so he doesn't think it's something to worry about.

Even so, a bit of anxiety washed over Sato's mind.

At that moment the radio sounded. When he reached out his hand and responded by reflex, he heard an unfamiliar voice on the back of the radio.

"Hello. Is this Mr. Yojiro Sato?"

It was a feminine and intelligent voice. Sato responds while confused.

"Oh, yeah. That's right."

"Nice to meet you, my name is Seri Awashima. I was the one who made the request."

"Oh, I see."

The confusion disappeared, but Sato pressed his face into place. Listen to Awashima's words, eager to decline the request in the event of an emergency.

"First of all, I apologize for reporting uncertain content to you in the application. I was in a hurry, so I thought about explaining after taking the first step."

"Okay, but what kind of job is this after all? It doesn't appear to be a fishing request."

"Yes. I want you to pick up a certain person."

When suspicion and vigilance increase, he raises his eyebrow. Sato asked in a low voice.

"Who is that? He is not a criminal, right?"

"What, criminal?"

From the other side of the meeting, he could feel the sign that Awashima was completely disappointed. The voice that echoed next seemed to lack a bit of calm, unlike before.

"Incorrect! The president is not involved in such things!"

"Oh, yeah."

At the angry response, Awashima coughed a little.

"No, sorry. It may be inevitable that it looks like this. I would like you to pick up Reisi Munakata, the representative idol of "Promotion Scepter 4"."

While driving, Sato is confused.

"Why do idols want to get on our ship?"

“As I said before, it is an urgent matter. He didn't seem to be in time for a regular water taxi, so I contacted you."

"Hmm... Well, it's okay."

Sato is not familiar with idols. He is simply not interested. From time to time he sees them on television, but to him they all have similar faces and clothes, so he cannot tell them apart.

That sect image is probably one of those idols. No wonder that is used instead of a taxi, but, work is work.

"So where should I pick him up?"

"Please wait a moment. I'll link the information on the president's location to that PDA."

"Eh?"

A second after the stupid voice leaked out, a spot of light lit up on the GPS map attached to the ship. Sato opens his mouth and looks at it moving at high speed on the map.

“Did you get the location? The point that lights up in blue is the current position of the president."

"Yes, I got it."

"Good. Get closer to the point of light. It also shows the next meeting points."

The GPS map reacts again and projects an orange spot of light. It shows a jetty near the beach park, that made Sato panic even more.

"Wait a minute! How did you do that? This is my PDA, right? Why can you operate it on that side?"

"There is no time to lose! I took emergency measures! Rest assured that we have formal permission to use the system!"

"What is that system?"

To Sato's confusion, Awashima doesn't reply. "More than that!" When he started yelling, the blue point of light on the map continued to flash.

“He is approaching the meeting point. Thanks for your cooperation. Awashima, over and out."

And the radio was unilaterally cut off, leaving only Sato who was confused.

The ship curves and begins to move parallel to the shore. Sato alternately compared the map and the coast. If this location is correct, Munakata will soon be in sight.

"Ah."

With that said, he opened his mouth. Someone was there. That's probably definitely Munakata.

From a distance, he can only tell that he is a man. It would have been indistinguishable on its own, but the appearance of a human who could ride a bicycle at a speed comparable to that of a high-speed boat fits this unusual situation perfectly.

"What should I do?"

Sato is a man of the sea. He is confident that he can handle most things that happen at sea. However, he had never imagined such a situation. Sato looked towards the beach while maintaining his speed.

At that moment, Munakata pointed forward.

Sato looks ahead so he can catch it. A jetty leading off the shore blocked the ship's path as it gently curved.

Reflecting a sailor, Sato curves the speedboat along the jetty.

Munakata's bike has picked up speed.

"Hey, it can't be!"

Unknowingly, Sato was screaming. Because he understood the man's thoughts. Because he understood the meaning of "meeting point" that Awashima said on the radio.

The bicycle races down the jetty at a speed that exceeds that of high-speed boats. Sato made the boat's engine run at full speed. It was not because he understood their speculations, but because he thought that, as a man of the sea, he would not be able to stand upright if he was driving a boat and losing to a bicycle.

The bicycle and the speed boat run next to each other for a very short distance.

For the first time, Sato saw Munakata's face.

Munakata was smiling with a clean face in front of him. It was not the expression of a human reaching such high speed on a bicycle. He was horrified. Perhaps this is a monster that seemed to drag him to the bottom of the sea. Even such an imagination took over his head.

Munakata's bicycle leaned over. At the end of the jetty, Sato's high-speed boat drew closer and Munakata jumped with the bicycle with only the spring from his body.

Sato opened his eyes and looked at the figure of Munakata leaping against the sun.

After a short break, Munakata's bicycle landed on the back of the high-speed boat, made a sharp turn, and came to a stop.

"Fu..."

With a sigh, Munakata wiped the sweat from his forehead with a handkerchief.

"......"

Sato was just looking at Munakata, who was behaving like a human, with his mouth open.

When he got out and parked at the bicycle rack, Munakata looked at Sato and said with a smile.

"Nice to meet you. Sato Yojiro-san. My name is Reisi Munakata. Thank you for your transportation to the planned location."

Swallowing hard, Sato asks suspiciously.

"You are a human?"

After opening his eyes somewhat surprisingly, he replied with a bitter smile.

"I'm just an idol."

++++++++++

At the Suzugaya sorting yard, Domyoji Andy (19) turned his pale face down and swallowed nausea.

He, who is scheduled to appear on "Sprint Dream Live Tour", is at that location because the Suzugaya courtyard is a helicopter landing site owned by "Scepter 4."

The event titled "Extreme Solo Part, Idol from Above 6500~", is Domyoji's assigned role this time. The event of strumming a guitar solo while skydiving from 2000 meters above the sky is sure to be a great thrill if it succeeds, but it can only be said that it is insane.

For today, Domyoji was repeating a special training every day. In total, it would have fallen enough to reach the surface from the stratosphere. Domyoji said that if he ran for Guinness, he would not pass, and gave a tired smile.

At that moment the door to the waiting room was opened and the staff entered.

"Domyoji-san, please prepare for take-off!"

"Eh?"

His eyes are round. Domyoji looks at the watch as it is. There is still some time left before the live begins. The turn of "Shoumutai", including Domyoji, was supposed to be in the second half of the opening ceremony.

"Is it still early? Was there an accident?"

Anyway, when he got up and left the room with the staff, Domyoji was so quiet. He doesn’t know what kind of problems are waiting in the live presentation. Not only staff but also idols need to take this into account and respond flexibly.

"There is no change to Domyoji-san's appearance time! We are going to pick up the president from now on!"

Domyoji opened his mouth. The staff didn't look back and pushed the door in front of them while walking quickly.

At the landing site, the helicopter was already preparing for takeoff. The high-speed rotating main rotor disperses a roar like a gunshot. Defeating the sound, Domyoji yelled at the back of the staff.

"What happened to the president? That person is surely the interpreter for the opening ceremony!"

“Currently, the president is crossing Tokyo Bay! We'll pick him up at sea and head straight to the Tsubakimon Dome!"

Domyoji is confused. He is crossing Tokyo Bay? He has no idea what the hell is going on. What he knows is that he is about to fly high again.

After sitting on the seat and fixing his body with a harness, Domyoji finally noticed.

"Hey! Don't I need it if I pick up the president?!"

"It's the president's judgment that it's a waste of time to go back every time! After leaving the president in the dome, Domyoji-san will wait in the sky until the time of the "Extreme solo part, Idol from above 6500~”!"

That was brilliant. Wait a minute, he try to tell if he would be flying all the time, but then his body was fixed. Jumping out the rear hatch, the staff gave Domyoji a big thumb up.

"Thank you good luck!"

The hatch closes as he continues. The sound of the rotor increases the pitch. Domyoji's stunned face disappeared into the darkness of the plane.

++++++++++

"The President has arrived at meeting point E! The pickup helicopter that was already waiting has started to approach!"

"Let go of the rope, the helicopter must be very careful!"

"Got it! Let go of the rope! Try to drive safely!"

Brilliant laughter erupted in the monitor room as the pilot made a joke. Private language during the operation should be strictly prohibited, but Awashima felt a slight smile on her lips. This would indicate their high morale. She doesn’t have to worry.

"President, I secured a rope! Start climbing."

"Domyoji, can't you point the CCD camera at the president?"

"Oh, yeah, I'll try."

Domyoji hastily responded to Awashima's voice. After a while, a rough image appears on one of the monitors.

Munakata was about to board the helicopter. Standing in the open hatch, he turns and pays him homage. A high speed boat floating ahead, probably Yojiro Sato, a man who appeared to be the captain took off his hat and waved it.

The expression of the image has been softened.

"President. Thank you for being safe."

On the CCD camera, he sees Munakata smiling.

“Thank you for your hard work, Awashima-kun. Did you worry?"

Awashima shakes her head slowly.

"I wasn't worried."

It was a lie. During these 30 minutes, Awashima has looked at the clock no less than 50 times. It's not because she doesn’t trust Munakata. It is probably due to the weakness of Awashima's heart.

Munakata's deep eyes can even see Awashima's inner heart. Still, she looked directly at her boss and reported on the situation.

"We are on time. If you move at full speed from the current location of the president, it will be enough to reach the inauguration. The president's suit has been brought to the room of the occupant of the helicopter."

"Okay. Let's finish all the preparations on the fly. Has the final landing point I submitted changed?"

"No, there are no changes. The helipad is already in control."

At that moment, one of the monitors lit up red and emitted a warning sound.

"What?"

"I will confirm it!"

Staff operate the console quickly. Awashima holds her breath and stares at the movement.

Finally, the staff raised a strained voice.

“There was a fire at the Tsubakimon Dome Hotel! Looks like an evacuation notice has been issued at the hotel!"

"No!"

“No recommendations have been issued for this place! Deputy Chief, what do we do?"

Impatience melts in her hand. Various thoughts come to mind instantly. How big is the fire? How to accept evacuees? Should the concert be canceled, even if no recommendations have been made? The enthusiasm of the people involved and the fans for this live show is extraordinary. But if something happens to the fans, it is irreparable.

An intelligent voice broke those thoughts.

"Awashima-kun. Confirm the evacuation of the hotel guests."

Raise her face. Beyond the CCD camera, Munakata's rough expression was as calm as if he were sitting at his usual office desk.

Awashima looks at the staff. The personnel turned to the front and quickly returned to operating the console.

Finally, he told the staff in a shocked voice.

"We share the confirmation of the status of the place, but the evacuation of the three guests has not been completed! It seems that we are reconfirming the people who have been in the air and have been evacuated!"

"Three people. That means they are…"

The CCD camera points in the other direction. Seeing that, Awashima took a breath.

Near the window on the smokeless floor. A man and a woman are crouched in a narrow space. The woman appeared to be holding a child.

"The number of people matches. Apparently, the evacuation was delayed."

Awashima looks at the image from the CCD camera. Imagine a tragic future for a family left behind at the scene of the fire and blood gushes from their faces.

And Munakata said of course.

"I am heading to the rescue."

Awashima knew that Munakata would say so. Knowing that, she still screams...

"President! Don't do it!"

Domyoji's camera captures Munakata's face. Munakata wasn't looking there. He murmured, looking serious at the scene of the fire, perhaps putting together another thought.

"Awashima-kun. About us?"

"Ah..."

The answer to that was fixed. Awashima squeezed her hand so tightly that her nails dug into her palm.

"We are... idols...!"

"What kind of person is an idol in "Promotion Scepter 4"?"

"Our goal is to be the ideal human who should be a role model for people."

Munakata looked at Awashima with a teacher's gaze, watching over the poor students who gave the correct answer.

"So that's it."

"Huh!"

Munakata goes to the scene of the fire. Although he is an idol, he is only a human. There is no guarantee that he will be able to return safely, so the worst consequences may await him in the future.

And, while looking at the worst, taking steps to prevent it from happening is also a condition of being an ideal human.

Awashima said that decisively when she took a little breath, exhaled and was ready to do it.

“We will contact the various parties involved in the handling of this incident and request assistance in rescue activities. I pray for your safety, President."

Behind the camera, Munakata nodded slightly.

Fushimi Saruhiko clicked his tongue as he leaned his back against the wall.

If Munakata's decision was stupid, Awashima, who followed him, could only be seen as a fool. He are an ideal person and he are trying to ruin his job by getting caught up in an additional idea. Fushimi's frank opinion is that, it is the role of rescuers to help the victims, and that is why they have to get rid of that work.

But he will never reveal it. At least not yet.

It only deals with possible situations.

Makes a call from his PDA. The other party came out with a ringing sound. Before they say something to him there, speak up.

“Akiyama, I got a job. Call the members of the 'Shoumutai'."

While saying that, Fushimi turned away from the wall and quickly headed to the end of the hall.

++++++++++

That day, Maki Arakawa (29) was visiting the Tsubakimon Dome hotel with her husband Takashi Arakawa (32) and their son Daichi Arakawa (0).

That day was Maki and Takashi's third wedding anniversary. The Dome Hotel was the place where Takashi proposed to Maki, and it was customary for the couple to visit this place on their anniversary every year.

With a new family member who is less than a year old, Maki and Takashi huddled together and wanted a night view from the living room. Takashi leans into the champagne and Maki leans into the non-alcoholic sparkling wine, looking at each other with a smile. In Maki's arms, Daichi, who had just fallen asleep, was giving a silent sigh.

A little compliment to a family that usually leads a modest life. Still, Maki was happy enough until the explosion happened.

The moment the explosion caught her, Maki was thrown to the ground with her husband.

When she woke up, her head was covered in black smoke.

"Daichi?"

The first thing that came to mind was the safety of her son. Looking down into her arms with a pale feeling, Daichi was still asleep. It was just a moment of relief, and he was soon filled with smoke-colored anxiety.

"What the hell?"

There was no way to answer that question. Her husband has wandered off a bit. He appears passed out, bleeding from his head. When she saw him, she was terrified that his heart would stop, but at least he seemed to be breathing.

Maki crawls closer to her husband, feeling pain glowing throughout her body. There seems to be a fire somewhere between the black smoke that comes in and the heat that burns the skin. That fact irritated Maki and made her reach out her hand.

"Get up."

The husband does not respond. Maki raised her face slightly and looked around her.

There is no one but them.

Is it after everyone has evacuated? Have they been left behind? Even if she gets lost, she does not know where to go and cannot leave her husband. It was decided that she cannot take him or her son on her own.

Fear and anxiety clench Maki's throat.

She takes the PDA out of her pocket and touches the emergency number. However, Maki herself wasn't sure how much it meant. The fear that surrounds her is getting stronger. Even if the rescue team is dispatched from now on, will they arrive in time?

"Yes, what happened?"

Communication has been opened. Maki squeezes the words out of her throat that moisten her body.

“Please help, please help. Please, please."

Unless this child is saved.

The moment he muttered a sentence-like word in a weak voice, a roar deafened Maki's ear.

A helicopter appeared outside the living room, behind a glass window.

A high-speed rotating rotor disperses a bombardment sound and the strong wind moves in the opposite direction. The helicopter tilted slightly and a sliding door pointed into the living room. Maki saw with wide eyes that a man with glasses was standing in the place that had already been opened.

It was not a rescue team. She knew it at a glance. After all, clothes are different. She had never heard of a rescue team dressed in such white, flowing clothing. It has beautiful bright colors and is like the clothes that idols wear.

The man with the glasses laughs smartly when he sees Maki. Then jump out the sliding door with a run.

"......"

Maki loses her words and watches over the elaborate suicide scene. From the PDA that fell to the ground, a Fire Service official said, "What happened? Please respond!" She heard a scream, but couldn't react. That was not the case.

The man crossed his arms, jumped high and rough, through the window, rolled across the living room floor, and landed brilliantly.

He balanced on his right foot, left knee, and right palm, and lifts his face to look at Maki.

Then he said with a smile.

"Hello."

"Ah, hello."

Barely responding, the man approached slowly, keeping low.

Behind him, there was a figure that jumped in the same way. He rolls on a glass covered floor, jumps and screams.

"Gak! The glass stabs me!"

“Domyoji-kun, continue with the preparations immediately. Be careful not to inhale smoke."

"Yes! President Munakata!"

When the man named Munakata approached Maki, he lifted his body, turned it forward, and began to wrap something.

"Oh, that...?"

“We will get away from this. Please hold your son firmly."

The soft voice in her ear soothed Maki's fear. She hugged her son tightly and, through her armpits, Munakata fixed a harness on Maki's body.

Munakata looks back and calls out to Domyoji, who is also wrapping the husband in a harness.

"Are you ready?"

"Well, somehow!"

Domyoji nods wrapping her weakly passed out husband around his body with a harness. When Munakata turned around, he turned his smart eyes towards Maki.

"Don't worry, I'll get you to safety immediately."

Somehow, however, she had an unpleasant sensation.

Maki looks out the window with her harness wrapped up. She sees the back of a helicopter that was going very far away. Maki asks, swallowing hard.

"Isn't that the one you ride?"

"Unfortunately, the emergency exit leading to the helipad is blocked by fire. Landing is difficult and jumping from here to the helicopter would not be possible with you in tow."

The question of what to do then did not need to be asked.

Munakata walks over to the broken window while tying Maki and Daichi to himself. The trampled piece of glass rings. A strong wind from the high sky blew and caressed Maki's cheeks forcefully.

The Tsubakimon Dome can be seen below. She wonders if he was doing some kind of live performance, and she could see the crowded seats even from such a high place.

Munakata looks at her calmly and has a soft voice.

"And we have less than five minutes to get started. This is the only way to get there on time."

She is not sure what you are talking about, but she understands what "this method" means. Maki looks towards Munakata with tears in her eyes.

"I'll ask you just in case, you've done it before, right?"

Munakata responds with a smile on his face.

"I read the manual."

Maki tried to resist, but her hands were empty and only scratched the air. Maki, who was shaking, saw that she could no longer understand the language, Munakata placed the sole of the shoe on the window frame.

Smooth to the end, Munakata says the last sentence.

"Ok, let's go."

"Hm..."

She can't say wait a minute.

Munakata was a man who executed words. A second after he said that, he had already jumped from a height of 100 meters above the ground with Maki and Daichi.

++++++++++

Basically the longer it takes to fall, the faster it will fall.

Its formula, commonly known as gravitational acceleration, is 9.8 m / s, and a rough calculation consumes a height of about 100 meters in less than 5 seconds. Knowing that, it's probably a bit more serious. She would have resisted.

Fortunately, the fear fainted her and it did not interfere with Munakata's work.

At the time of take-off, Munakata quickly opened the parachute. Munakata experienced a free fall for a time until the acceleration died due to air resistance.

At the sound of the wind, Munakata heard laughter.

Suddenly the baby was laughing in his arms. He wondered if he was enjoying the fall, and while hearing a laughing little voice, Munakata was laughing too.

"It's fun? It may be common for you."

The parent's "up and down" game and the current situation may not change much for this child. With that in mind, Munakata precisely operates the parachute.

Air resistance travels through the harness and squeezes Munakata's body. Munakata looked at the Tsubakimon Dome below, while reducing the burden on mother and child as much as possible. Already in his direction, the dome has been opened to reveal the stage.

"President, please respond. Let us know the current situation!"

Awashima's voice echoes from the device close to the ear. Munakata responds to that.

"This is Munakata. We are currently gliding about 70 meters from the earth's surface. We will proceed to land on stage."

In the center of the stage is a circle of bureaucracy, the end of today's sprint. There are 2 minutes and 47 seconds until the start. The image of landing, taking off the parachute, and entering the performance has already been created in Munakata's mind.

"No problem. Everything is fine. Awashima-kun, let's meet up on stage sleeve!"

At the image of Munakata, a sudden gust of wind disappeared.

"Yes!"

Before thinking of anything, Munakata had to devote all his energy to controlling his posture. The parachute, which was about to rotate like a cone, was operated with one hand like a hot kneading jumper, and in the worst case it prevented a free fall due to the disappearance of air resistance.

"President? What did you do?"

Awashima screamed at the anomaly.

"Well, it's not a big deal. I was exposed to the wind from the building and my posture was altered for a moment. The check was completed, but there is a problem."

"What kind of problem is it?"

“The current gust of wind has blown me off the field a lot. If nothing is done, we will land in the audience seats."

Awashima took a deep breath.

Due to the gust of wind, the chances of landing on stage were nil. A similar gust of wind might bring the whole picture back to the landing course, but it's like waiting for a miracle. It was the role of the believer, not the role of the idol, to hold onto heaven with prayer.

Munakata ponders as he spins in the air.

He cannot get off in the audience seats. No action can be taken that could compromise the safety of the public. Not only Munakata himself, but even the metal parachute hardware cannot be dropped on the heads of fans.

So there is only one way left.

"We will take a landing course outside of the dome. We won't be in time for the performance, but we can't help it."

Awashima squeezed out a rough voice.

"Come here."

Until now, Munakata has been racing to get to the performance on time and not disappoint the expectations of the fans. It is not unfortunate that the effort turns into a bubble.

However…

Munakata stroked the baby's hair, giggling happily at his mother's breast, with his fingertips.

"Don't be sorry. We are idols. Those who seek the best. But if that doesn't come true, we can choose the next best option."

"President..."

Awashima's voice has a bitter resignation.

But she was also an idol. Awashima starts working after dispelling it in an instant.

"I get it. Immediately, personnel will be sent to the outside of the cupola, and the president, the mother and the child will be immediately collected. Even if the delay is unavoidable, it should be as short as possible."

"Yes. Thank you."

A sudden voice interrupted Munakata who was about to approve the decision.

"It's not like that."

Munakata slightly opened his eyes.

He can't be wrong, it was the voice of Fushimi Saruhiko, the center of "Shoumutai".

"What are you doing?"

"Please be quiet, Assistant Principal. President, there is no need to change course. 2 minutes to start. If so, it is time to do so."

"What?"

"Akiyama, do it."

With Fushimi's command as the trigger, a sight of pure white spread under his eyes.

It was a huge cloth that completely covered the audience seats at the Tsubakimon Dome. The pure white fabric that glows under the light has a blue dyed stamp in the center. That's the emblem of “Promotion Scepter 4”, the flag of the idol that they should be proud of.

"Now you don't have to worry about landing in the audience. Please come down quickly. The stage is set!"

Watch the scene and listen to the words.

A powerful smile appeared on Munakata's mouth.

"I get it."

Then she slowly descends towards the emblem of his proud "Promotion Scepter 4".

++++++++++

"Huh... someone..."

In a park located outside the Tsubakimon Dome, Domyoji Andy was trapped in a tree and called for help with a weak voice.

The rescued person, tied in front, fainted slightly. After all, he never woke up during the drop or after the landing. He doesn't think there is any difference in life, but he wants to be rescued as soon as possible and taken to the hospital. It's about time Domyoji's shoulders scream from their weight.

"Oh, Domyoji-san! You were in a place like this!"

At that moment, a light illuminated Domyoji's face with a voice of salvation.

They were the staff of "Scepter 4." It looks like he was holding a ladder and looking around the dome. Domyoji mutters through tears when he sees them preparing for rescue.

"Hail me..."

Domyoji, who was saved several tens of seconds later, asked the staff with a deep sigh.

“No, what happened to the president? Did he do it on time?"

"Yes! It seems that with Fushimi-san's ingenuity, he was able to make it in time for the performance! It seems that he is performing well as of now!"

The staff deftly pulled out the PDA which projected a live image.

6:23 pm. The stage lights go out and the noise from the audience seats quickly subsides. For example, fans' expectations, enthusiasm and excitement increase.

The silence of passion, as if you could see it.

A suddenly glowing spotlight pierced the darkness.

In the center of the stage was a man crouched with one knee raised. He is dressed in a beautifully decorated suit and holds a microphone in his slim hands. There is not a single mistake or a single wrinkle in his clothes. The ideal idol is that person, the Idol King who was there.

Those in the audience, behind the television who are watching him, probably don't know how he got to that stage. Munakata must say that it is also the idol's responsibility not to report it.

As soon as the song started, Munakata looked up. A confident smile. An act that can be said to be solemn. Take a fixed turn and start singing.

Domyoji laughed impressively as he watched the fans' enthusiasm explode.

"I'm glad. He is on time."

"Yeah, I'm glad."

The staff laughs too. Only they know how many difficulties Munakata had to go through to be in that place. These difficulties have finally been overcome and the goal has come true.

"Well then, I'm ready too."

Domyoji says that, shaking his head. He also has a major role in the "Extreme solo part, Idol from Above 6500~". For that, he has to go back to heaven.

The staff stopped Domyoji's back.

"Domyoji-san, it's very difficult to tell... but Domyoji-san's part is gone."

"Eh?"

The staff scratched their heads at Domyoji, where their eyes became a point.

“It seems that it is impossible to take off on time because the helicopter has run out of fuel on the previous flight. Therefore, we will reproduce the PV of the album released next week as a replacement for the emergency. That was decided."

Domyoji froze and said...

"What is that? Has all my special training so far been for naught?"

Look at the facial expressions of the staff, quietly but surely.

"What is that? Aaaaaaaaaah!"

Domyoji's scream echoed around the outer edge of the dome.

[burlveneer-music]

Marie Davidson & L’Œil Nu - Renegade Breakdown - she is taking no guff on this new song with a new band (and a judicious use of synthesized slap-bass)

Marie Davidson is back with a new album, a new band, and a bold new sound: “Renegade Breakdown” is set for release on 25th September on Ninja Tune. Arriving under the banner of Marie Davidson & L'Œil Nu, a trio formed of three old-time friends and long-term collaborators with shared roots in Montreal’s DIY scene: Marie, Pierre Guerineau and Asaël R. Robitaille (the former two are also husband and wife, and partners in the group Essaie pas). Drawn to the idea of the eternal return, they deliver a forward-facing, innovative pop record that builds on the classic tenets of Marie’s music to create something that strikes out towards a broader audience. With dark humour and interpolated musical influences—from Fleetwood Mac to Kraftwerk, and jazz classics such as Billie Holiday and Chet Baker—they spin each of its entries in wildly imaginative directions. The title, alongside the artwork—with its three versions of Marie—are nods to the recent experiences of Davidson, the group’s frontwoman, lyrics-writer and synth player, and the journey that’s led her here. “Renegade Breakdown” is a reaction to years in which she spent most of her life on the road, navigating the club and festival lifestyle: the airports, the late nights, the lost or damaged gear—often alone, always with her case of instruments and cables in tow. Documented in part by Resident Advisor for their ‘Between The Beats’ series, she candidly laid out the realities of her life on tour and the toll it would take on her health: dealing with feelings of dislocation and disorientation and battling her chronic insomnia, exacerbated by a never ending transition from one time zone to the next. "I get in these states where I start to question everything, and I hate myself," she told RA at the time, “sometimes I feel like I don’t belong anywhere.”

[chris-evans-indian-fanfic]

Across Seven Seas

Chapter 2

Description: This fanfiction series is set in the year 2022, after the horrid COVID-19 has finally come to an end. In this fanfiction, Chris Evans holidays with his family in India and meets Meera Shankar. The story explores their rollercoaster journey and raises a question, whether two people, from two contrasting backgrounds and cultures, can build their future together?

This series is Chris Evans x OFC with Chris Evans' family and friends having recurring appearances. Please find below a lot of Original Characters-

Meera Shankar - The female lead

Meera's Mother

Poppy - Meera's maternal grandmother

Rohan - Meera's elder brother who is 6 years older than her.

Chapter 1

Chapter 3

FIND MORE CHAPTERS BY CLICKING ON MY BIO

This is a work of fiction. The names of the hotels and companies have been changed to avoid copyright issues. Meera Shankar and her family is based on the author and her kin. No offense is intended.

P.S- All the photographs used in the chapters are of the real locations mentioned. I clicked these photographs on my vacation.

I don’t consent to have any of my work published or featured on any third party app, website or translated. If you are seeing this fanfiction anywhere but tumblr, it has been reposted without my permission. In that case, please do share the link and let me know.

...

Chapter 2

Same day, 5:45pm - Dehradun Airport, India

The airplane cabin was lit with soft evening sunlight as the plane descended on the runway. Resting her head against the window, Meera tried her best to soak up the warmth. After collecting their bags, the family of four headed towards the taxi stand, looking for the hotel cab scheduled to pick them up from the airport.

Meera spotted the handheld sign 'SHANKARS' in the sea of drivers. Waving her hand, heads turned in their direction as she called out to the driver. "Meera at least try to be a little lady-like, let Rohan deal with the driver," urged her mother. "Seriously Ma? Deal with the driver? We just needed to get his attention and put our luggage in the car," said Meera, rolling her eyes. As the driver led them towards the cab, Rohan and Meera grabbed the luggage from the airport trolley. After the bags were kept safely in the trunk of the car, Meera returned the trolley to the stand. Her mother chided as she walked back, "What was the need to do that? There are workers who are hired to do this work." "Yes Ma but we used that trolley for our work, right? So we can keep it back in place as well. It makes life a little easier for the airport staff." "Why do you need to make their life easier? They get salary for their jobs." "Ma they stand on their feet for almost their entire shift. Even if a few people return their trolleys to the station, it can offer them some respite na?" Meera tried to reason, but her mother scoffed. "At least you can try to walk normally." Turning to look at her mother, Meera cocked an eyebrow, her expression saying "Really?"

It would be incorrect to describe Meera's walk as 'dainty'. Keeping her broad shoulders wide and her back straight, Meera held her head high while walking, controlling the swing of her hands by her side. She made it a point not to sway her hips but instead walked with her legs apart. Moreover, the attitude with which she walked always gave the impression that she is charging towards her target. With a height of 5ft 7", she often loomed over other women, her extra weight adding bulk to her persona.

Being the closest city to the hill station Mussoorie, Dehradun was a hub of activity. Alive with modern shopping centres, fancy restaurants, malls and a buzzing nightlife, the beauty of it all was lost on Meera. For her, it were the heritage sites in the city that piqued her interest. She was longing to explore places such as the Watch Tower built in the 1930s, a 50-year-old monastery and the Forest Research Institution, built in the 17th century that housed 3 museums. These places of cultural interest seemlessly merged themselves with the crowded city.

It was almost 7pm by the time they reached their hotel in the city. The plan was to rest overnight, then leave for the hill station early in the morning. While Mussoorie was just around 3 hours away, Meera knew it would take more time for them to reach their destination in the hills, with her motion sickness slowing them down on the winding hilly roads. She looked through the hotel room window, her inner nerd itching to visit the museums, walk amongst the city dwellers, learn more about their culture, their lifestyles. But alas, her family had other plans.

While her brother had started drinking alcohol the minute he entered his room, Poppy and Meera's mother were already on the bed, surfing through the TV channels. "Bala," Meera's mother called her, "Why are you standing near the window? Are you feeling unwell?" "Just looking outside the window Ma," she replied. "Why?" her mother pressed on, "You even took a long time in the bathroom. Are you okay?" With that, Meera turned around, visibly irritated, "Ma how many times have I told you it is creepy to keep track of my bathroom schedule? I HATE it when you do that!" "What is creepy in that? I am your mother. I have every right to know what are you doing, and when and where are you doing it." "No you don't!" exclaimed Meera, "You cannot keep a track of everything that I do Ma. I am 30 years old now and..." "29 years old," corrected her mother. "How does it matter?" continued Meera, "Stop nagging me all the time!" "But why are you looking out of the window? There's nothing to see," her mother insisted. "I am just looking out of the window because that's all we will get to do here AND in Mussoorie! Just sit and look. Nobody wants to go out, nobody wants to explore. Just sit in the comfortable chair in cold weather and look outside. That's all we do on EVERY vacation! That's all we ever do!" "You can also watch TV or maybe read a book," suggested Poppy. "Yes we spent thousands of rupees just to watch TV or read a book. Brilliant idea!" replied Meera sarcastically. "I can't believe I have 2 weeks to either look at mountains or at TV." "We will also go out Bala," her mother tried to reason with her. "Yes, Rohan will go out to buy alcohol from the local shops, he will then keep drinking like a fish and fall sick, which will cause you to worry. After he recovers, all of us will step outside once to see a handful of tourist attractions. And that's it. That's all the 'outings' I will have. Because you will never let me go out alone na. So I will be stuck at the hotel," concluded Meera, "This is why I wanted to go to a beach resort for our vacation. At least there would have been something to do at the beach." "I don't like beaches," said her mother. "I know," Meera sighed in resignation, turning back to look out of the window into the darkness.

6th September, 4:45am - Logan Airport, Boston, USA:

Chris had his eyes closed, trying to breathe through the anxiety which consumed him. He had been wrong in thinking that the paparazzi would not catch up with them if they caught an early plane. The swarm of reporters who were gathered outside the VIP entrance of the airport had been out for blood, desparate to capture a snap of the infamous Chris Evans. While regular photographers could have still been managed, the reporters with cameramen and mics certainly did not make it easier for him to walk through the gates of the airport. "People are now calling you the Disgraced Captain, how does that make you feel Chris?", "Do you want to share a message with your disappointed fans?", "When are you going to apologize to the public Chris?" His breathing became laboured as the reporters' questions started playing in his mind like a playlist on loop.

Scott sat besides him, rubbing his shoulders gently. Chris' condition was worrisome for the entire family. Chris had been unable to handle his downfall, and it had taken a toll on his mental, emotional and physical health. He only ever smiled and laughed with Dodger now, and even then, his eyes wore a distant look. No amount of therapy had helped his elder brother. Things started slipping further when Chris had completely stopped grooming himself. His hair and beard had outgrown his face, with only his nose and blue eyes visible. Chris had even started giving up on the gym, barely trying to maintain his muscular figure. Where rock-hard abs once dotted his torso, now a small flab of fat replaced it. Luckily though, his sweater hid the tiny gut well.

"Hey... Hey c'mon now, you know how harsh the media can be right? I am sure this will all blow over in a few weeks. Just take deep breaths. 🎶Just keep breathing, just keep breathing breathing🎶," Scott tried his best to hum, hoping to bring a smile on the hairy meatballs' face. But instead, he was greeted with teary eyes. "They are right, aren't they? I disappointed so many people. I lost so much Scott. I can't even begin to..." "This flight is about to take off," interrupted the airhostess, "Tie your seatbelts," she left with that curt instruction. When Scott turned to look at his brother again, Chris had angled his body towards the wall, already looking outside the window, at the first pale yellow signs of the rising sun. This is going to be a long flight, thought Scott.

Same day, 8pm - Dehradun Hotel, India

It was finally time for dinner. Wearing 2 jackets and a skull cap, Meera looked at herself in the mirror once before heading downstairs. She looked comical. Her overweight body looking larger with the bomber jacket, the skull cap covering most of her head, her black hair and her ears. Her glasses snuggly resting on her nose and her hands in the pockets of the thick pants she wore. She was not sure of the material. But hey, those pants kept her warm and better yet, they came with pockets! If only we would have gone to a warmer location, thought Meera ruefully, I could have worn my dresses. At least I would have still looked like a woman. A dry, homeless laugh escaped her lips. Ma would sacrifice her limbs to get me to behave like a woman.

This was going to be a cold and long vacation, and Meera was not looking forward to it.

[mandelene]

Why are you so mean to New Jersey? >:( (I'm planning on moving there so HAHAHAHAHA)

Haha, as a New Yorker, it's part of my duty to hate New Jersey for always trying to mooch off of New York City.

Also, Chris Christie was the governor of New Jersey for many years, and we all hated him, especially after the bridge gate scandal but even before that, too.

NJ always smells bad, pollutes our air, and never puts up proper road signs. Like George Carlin (RIP) always used to say, "If you don't know where you are, you're in Jersey."

And don't get me started on the number of tolls...or Newark Airport...

But I hope you enjoy it. 😂💖

[champagnediva]

If you want to drive in Santo Domingo  “Don’t” . Nerves of steel is an understatement, at least for me.

Red lights ! oblivious. Lanes !! only a suggestion. Imagine you open a room full of crazies and distribute driving licences, cars and motorcycles  and just say “go out there and drive, Don’t Worry about the rules , there are none” I know you think I’m exaggerating or being funny, NOT!!!.  Utter chaos. Although I must say I didn’t see any bodies on the road so I suppose there must be a method to their madness . Anyway that was my experience . Aside from the driving part  it was a good experience. They do have a good transit system ,so if you are not a daredevil maybe you could travel by train or Taxi , lots of people use Uber ( Orange cars). Renting a car is cheap but by the time you add insurance it becomes a bit expensive. Another thing which I think needs mentioning is safety, driving around in Santo Domingo, I was told not to keep my window down, I guess driving my convertible is out of the question 😦 .

Santo Domingo random street photos

train station

  Drove around Santo Domingo a bit. fascinating electrical work. How the heck to they figure this out?

  The casino next to The Sheraton.

The first night we spent at the Sheraton Santo Domingo on the Malecon. Star quality hotel ,very welcoming staff. I always prefer to eat local but we decided to have dinner at the hotel restaurant with friends ( not a big fan of hotel food). Can’t say I was disappointed, the ceviche was pretty delicious.

Shrimp Cocktail

Cevice

 A good night sleep on BTW was the most comfortable bed I have ever slept in, at a hotel.

Breakfast , then off we went to las Terrenas. The purpose of my trip was to go check out the possibilities of buying a property.

On the road keep the speed limit ,radar is everywhere ready to catch you. If you are stopped , they just want money. Of Course  we were stopped, they somehow know when you are a tourist. I was told that most people just pay and go, and I did notice that they didn’t really want to give us a ticket. We could have just paid and left but instead we pretended we did not understand�� Spanish or what they were saying, frustrated the crap out of them, after 15 minutes of frustrations, no ticket, no payola. The words “La Prensa” (my Press pass ) got us on our way. Guess they didn’t want a write up. LOL .

We finally arrived in las Terrenas after more than 2 hours of driving from Santo Domingo.The tolls from Santo Domingo to Las Terrenas are about 25.00 Usd or about 1200 Pesos. Make sure you have Pesos , they don’t accept USD.

Las Terrenas

A resort town on the Samaná Peninsula, in the northeastern part of the Dominican Republic.  A beautiful safe town inhabited  by lots of  European retirees. I found it quite interesting that in most place I went in town, most people spoke French,of course English and Spanish . 

    The French bakery and of course the local Cigar shop.

  Graffiti in las terrenas

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  LODGING: Residencia El  Balata

A very unique property about 2 km from the beach, you can actually walk to the beach. very Original in design  , natural woodwork . The owner is very friendly and very accommodating. English, French and Italian are spoken.  Of course Spanish .

its the perfect spot , quiet and very relaxing . The property gives you the feeling of really being away from civilization.They have a large parking and  no problems with Wi-Fi. We did not opt for the breakfast but they serve a wonderful breakfast for an additional $5.00  and for an additional $10.00 you can request AC, we didn’t need it, as the temperature was quite comfortable with the windows open and the ceiling fan. Our room was very clean , modern , large and comfortable. The wood theme was carried throughout the rooms and the entire  property. The prices are quite affordable. There is also a 3 legged Rottweiler , who is very shy.

On my  next visit to las Terrenas I will definitely stay there again and highly recommend it..

What would a beach town be without beach bars and restaurants?.We took a liking to MOJITOS specially for their Mojito Happy Hour. This is a Cuban restaurant owned by Carlos  he is originally from Cuba and travels back and forth. you can also get dinner there.

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Most people seem to prefer Motorcycles and  ATVs as a mode of transportation. This makes the center of town a bit noisy.

But my favorite for prices and food,is the retaurant  Le Tre Caravelle a convivial little spot for Italian food. The decor might throw you off a bit , as it looks more like seafood than Italian,but dont let that sway you, the food is fabulous, and at 0.50 pesos for $1.00  you can have a lovely inexpensive little vacay.

Whale Watching in Samana

we booked a trip with whale Samana with Marine biologist  Kim Beddall In Samana Bay. One of the top 10 places in the world  to watch whales. The humpback whales comes every year  to give birth in Samana Bay making them, honorary citizens of the Dominican republic.

  The sea was really rough , I was being thrown around like a beach ball  , my friends were like “What the heck? ‘they laugh at me since I seemed to have been the only one  flying around. Thank god they gave out  sea bands  for sea sickness ,usually I travel with my own, but forgot them on this trip. Unfortunatly and before knowing that  they were going to distribute sea bands I was given a Dramamine pill ( hate to take those ) since I become sort of a useless zombi for the entire day. Oh Well.)

after ge got back to  santo Domingo we still had one more night so we checked into the Crown Plaza Hotel . I would have prefered an older hotel in the  colonial zone but the one we wanted was full. Anyway can’t go wrong with the crown plaza.

One more drive around the city to visit and take pictures before heading to the airport.

The Colonial zone is definitely worth a visit. The rum museum Museo Del Ron Y La Cana is fabulous, we got yo taste the various flavored and top of the line aged rums. They even had cilantro flavored rum. I bought a bottle of pineapple rum but had to leave it behind ( no checked baggage )  NO charge for the visit. Unfortunately my trip was very short ,I would have liked to spend a little more time to take pictures in the colonial zone and learn a bit more history.

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As you walk down Calle El conde ,The first commercial street in the New World and a popular pedestrian shopping area, 10 blocks long and cuts right through the Colonial city. The cobblestone road is lined with restaurants, cafes, souvenir shops and also street art vendors selling colorful paintings. There are plenty of historic sights along the way , starting at Calle El Conde’s entrance at Parque Independencia, onto the Parque Colón and first cathedral, to its edge at Calle Las Damas. 

The home ofDiego Colon

At the beginning of every block there is a  Munecas Limé .

You maybe wondering why the dolls have no face?. In the 1980’s s sculptor Liliana Mera Limé (hence the name) created these faceless dolls. The are called munecas Limé. They represent a people of diverse  ancestral blend from the native Quisqueyanos, the Africans, and the Spanish Conquistadores. The dolls, have no faces so as not to show preference to one branch of their ancestral lineage (i.e.. discriminating against the black or native american ancestry). Great souvenir to take back or to collect. they are found everywhere.

      Unfortunately my trip was very short ,I would have liked to spend a little more time to take pictures in the colonial zone and learn a bit more history. Next time.

One last little note about tipping;

Another interesting Tidbit . On all  bills , restaurant and other purchases , there is a fee added of 10%  P/Legal and a service charge of 18 % which they call a tip. You are actually paying an additional fee on your bill of 28% ( You are still expected to  tip). Its was very confusing when i first got my first bill in the restaurant. thinking the tip was included. I understand that the wages are very low so even if you give an extra 10%.

I hope that you found this to be interesting and It encourages you to take a little trip. I would really appreciate your comments and recommendations.

        Nerves of steel, Dominican driving.It’s more than that. If you want to drive in Santo Domingo  "Don't" . Nerves of steel is an understatement, at least for me.

[shytiff]

Feb 2021 Wins

1 - osce study with clara almira, tryout 9 fkui, tryout review with clar, study sesh with clara that finished at about 10 pm. watched some youtube vids together til 11:15 pm. no longer sleepy, so i made my cv and finished it at about 3 in the morning lmao, bcs i saw this interning opportunity and i was like “damn i should make my cv”

2 - woke up at 7 am, didnt shower lmao, off to kiara for vaccination. Waited for a bit and i finally got it. ate mamdaging pesto rice with beef at kamkan w/ ren ness ara akisyah. talked at studied osce a bit. waited for mom to pick me up. until when do i need someone else to pick me up. i feel helpless and i hate that i cant just ride my motorbike because its too tiring. went back and dad got mad at me bcs i didnt greet him when leaving and entering the house. I truly didnt see him when i entered even though i heard sumn lmao. He said sumn along the lines of "you can always leave if u dont like me" (which is lowkey appealing). I cried bcs i felt sad and annoyed with our terrible emotional parent-daughter relationship. Hold the tears for a bit to study with clara. Darkened the room and slept still in my going-out clothes. I did not shower today lmao,,,,

3 - woke up at 10 am. Tryout and review w clara. Psych coaching. Psych practice with irun. Called lau and dajen bcs hes leving to medan. Randomly checked my email and my intern submission, which i emailed yesterday, that turns out the doctor replied at 8pm yesterday asking for interview today 11 am. And i saw it @ 6 pm. Aka super late. The stupidest thing ive ever done in FKUI. No cap. :( i panicked and it gave me a reason to talk with dad (asking how to reply) so i guess its a form of effort to banish the awkwardness between us. Studied w clara. I hope the doctor can forgive me. Its one loose end after the other lately.

4 - went to starbucks with atikah. got treated matcha latte yayy. cicil osce. called clara to learn imunisasi. went to kaleyo w atikah clara, ate bebek muda cabe ijo yumm. talked abt a lot of things in a span of 1-2 hours. we’re all pragmatist lmaoo. 

5 - osce briefing, DV osce practice w irun, watched run bts again lmaoo since knowing my osce schedule is thursday. read buku osce biru. 

6 - slept and lazed around til 1 pm. went to flavola since the construction was so noisy. osce simulation with UKMPPD Wibu. turns out flavola’s siomay is very fulfilling.

7 - todays construction noise escape is jco. Bought jcool double with almonds and chocolate crunchy. A bit of psych practice w aisyah. After maghrib practiced neuro w irun

8 - had no mood to study in the morning. Went to flavola, kopsusss coklat as usual. Reviewed osce materials (theres some tea about what might come out). Reviewed again at home (even tho i procrastinated from 6-9pm). Asked my bro for some ovo bcs i bought a mini keyboard in tokped lmaoooooo so random

9 - went to merra (ara and nessa’s place) but mom drove dad to the airport first. stome osce study, group consolidation for osce, tried mad bagel (the garlic cream cheese and tuna salad). the bagel was quite dense and fulfilling. the garlic cream cheese is quite heavy. arrived at home by 9 pm, went straight to sleep

10 - omg dr eva contacted me again :”) and i got the chance to be ecmocard research assistant. osce study. line call with ara. matcha latte. studied in juan’s room bcs it was so noisy. the keyboard i ordered arrived lolll cant wait to try. i dont know if its the anxiety or fear but i cant sleep and forced myself to sleep 11pm-ish

11 - osce. Went early to learn sumn more w ara tri. Osce (i forgot opv for the 5 mo old baby in peds station 😭 there was dr yogi omg) prayed zuhur and ashar in merra while waiting for pick up (i rly wish i could just bring my own vehicle but motorbike is rly tiring). Finally tried the mini keyboard, with earphones on. Practiced the song aku bukan untukmu by rossa lmao bu sihar taught us that in 33. I felt rly excited and not sleepy afterwards (that "normal" feeling with nothing looming). Its been a while since i tried something new, voluntarily. I guess its kind of what i felt when i tried the korean duolingo. That lasted for a couple months. Lets see how this keyboard thingy goes

12 - finally finished reviewing to oneshot (took ages lmao). Lazed around

13 - inten ukmppd w ness ren ara @ merraaa always. Went through 5 pdfs. Tried fastfit chicken burger and sweet potato fries. Quite fulfilling. Went back home and straight to bed (didnt eat anymore)

14 - started my day late as usual on weekdays lmaoo. flavola kopsus coklat as usual at my usual seat facing the window. did padi final tryout, score: 69. booty call with fianti, did mindset tryout, got 76,5.

15 - lazed tilll i start my day as usual @ 11-ish. Reviewed to padi final answers. Wow it sure took some damn time. My attention span is rly horrible when im alone in my room

16 - second dose of vaccine today. the rain was POURING. mom and emir waited in mcd. read half of aipki citation. 

17 - finished aipki citation, read CBT 2020 batch I and 2019 batch III questions. read a fantastic slow burn dramione fic. reviewed the last to solid.

18 - accompanied clara for swab antigen near airport train station (we came with motorbike since clara’s car was used). got called over by the police bcs we were in the car-only road lmaooo. went over optima tryout 2021. 

19 - cicil ukmppd at flavola with the usual menu, read some more afterwards

20 - ended up going to tamel bcs the flood in tb simatupang toll. Stayed w nessa and henny. Ate garlic carbonara spaghetti by bittersweet najla. Quite good for the price. Went over mediko questions with nessa and first session citation. Atikah sent some krispy kreme donuts 🥺🥺

21 - woke up at 4 bcs henny and nessa already did. Ate cold kanayam for bfast. Did ukmppd. I flagged quite a lot of questions huaa. I hope i can pass, aamiin. Went to tamel to get stuff (nebeng oca uye), climbed jembor to get to akis et al. Went to aeon (super crowded tffff), followed by ikea (parked at decathlon). Ate at both places (shared portion w kris lmaoo we get full quick). Aeon sushi and ikea meatball. So fulll. Went out of ikea to be briefed by dr Debby (ecmocard) and put my stuff to mom's car. Went in ikea again. And finally we went back. such a good sleep yall

22 - relaxed and i mean RELAXXXED. woke up and slept again. showered to prepare to go to harkit for intern briefing. i was late (thanks daan mogot road) and had to grabbike from untar. put on some sheet mask (natrep rose) bcs im realizing i need to fix my face and look decent for this new environment lmaoo.

23 - left home at 7 am, went through highway (i aint repeating daan mogot tragedy again). walked a bit backwards bcs the hightway exit was infront of dharmais. super slow progress on entering medical datas. took half a day to get one. and another half for the other. ate marugame udon, somay, chicken katsu and otak otak. we finished after maghrib and im writing this while waiting for mom

24 -  tried salted egg dori rice from salt inc. its quite salty and eneg inducing (a bit more than eatlah), but for the price (19k after cashback) i wont complain. Went back home before maghrib but there was still some medical record stuff i did in my room.

25 - magang as usual. Tried chicken egg salad from salad hut. Bought ice french hazelnut coffee from lawson coz i just cant take it anymore (the slump and sleepyness). I feel like the moment that sugary beverage enters my system i rise like a freshly watered plant. First meeting with dr eva and the others

26 - felt so tired even in the morning. Its 9 am and im already ordering janjiw coffee (with hazelnut and milo, quite sweet. Like a mix of kopiko and milo). Slow progress today i dunno why. Lunch is nayam rica2 and egg for 21k. Went back home by tj and mom picked me at gajah 2

27 - i hate to say this but bcs for 5 days now ive been fighting sleeping instincts, i snap out of sleepiness easier in the morning. Nasi uduk for brekkie. Moved some stuff up bcs the noise, played keyboard. Learned the (difficult) chords to tyler's see you again and im feeling satisfied. Went to racheel's place. Got fed chicken noodle. And then off to silvi's with devi also. Got fed chicken rice and dimsum. Thanks to friends im eating superwell today🥺

28 - relaxed at home. Skipped breakfast bcs i fell asleep and ate heartily in the afternoon. Evening run w racheel at citra 6

[blazerina]

Here Comes the Sun (Sean x MC)

Author’s Note: This deals a little bit with mental anguish and the basic types of anxiety or stress that happen to anyone after or during a traumatic life event. Just want to say that up front.

Rating; PG-13? (I stink at ratings but there are some mature themes, nothing more than that though)

This is the first time in a while that I’ve entered something into the Choices Creates competition with the prompt of TRAVEL.  Tagging @angelschoices and @hollyashton.  I know this is a late submission so I apologize for missing the time deadline.

I wrote this because there’s just not enough Sean Gayle love in this world.

Hope you enjoy!

–

A wave of ice-cold water ran up and down his spine. He felt his extremities shiver and seize, tensing up one final time before giving in and becoming completely numb. Soon the water was pouring over his head and his breath began to quicken. The same ice water that was freezing his body, began to rapidly fill his lungs and as they tightened with each shallow breath, it felt as if life was being squeezed and pulled from every vein within him.  Somehow, while he was struggling for air and feeling intense, frigid tremors from head to toe, he was also feeling warm.  Strong, penetrating waves of heat were making their way up and down his body, but the hotness was mainly pooling at the top of his head, as if he was sweating, all while he struggled and wrestled with himself beneath the water.

He could hear the blood-curdling screams of his friends at the surface of the frozen lake. All of them were calling for him and yelling out his name. Taylor’s voice was piercing and could be heard louder, longer and above the rest. He could feel her hand slipping over his forearm as he was pulled further and further below the surface. Images of her face flashed like a slide-show in his mind.

Her gentle and bright blue eyes that were such a contrast to her dark hair. Her confident smile that reassured him more times than he could count. The way she absentmindedly brushed her bangs out of her eyes and tucked them behind her ear. This was the last memory and thought that flickered in his mind before total darkness hit.

–

“Taylor! TAYLOR!” Sean sat up quickly, calling out to her, breathing heavily and holding his head. His temples were throbbing. In his sleepy stupor, he laid back down and rolled over in bed. His arms reached out for her, fumbling his way through the empty sheets.

“Why do these dreams keep happening? It’s been 7 years…” he mumbled, knowing in a matter of moments he’d feel her arm, or her body next to him, if he continued to feel around for her.

“T?” He opened his eyes and then let out a heavy sigh.  Looking around the room, he realized he wasn’t home. He was on the road, in another hotel for what felt like the billionth time.

—

One week later…

“Ladies and Gentlemen, on behalf of our airline, I’d like to be the first to welcome you to Chicago. Please keep your seatbelts buckled until the captain has turned off the fasten seatbelt sign.  We will be arriving at our gate in just a moment. If you need connecting information, please check the monitors in the terminal. For those of you staying with us here in Chicago, your luggage will arrive at carousel 8B…”

The calming tone of the flight attendant’s voice woke Sean from his slumber.  He was groggy and shook his head quickly to wake himself up.  “Wow.” He muttered under his breath, realizing he slept for the entirety of his flight.  His doctor had given him a new prescription for his flight anxiety, due to the fact that the medication he had previously been using stopped helping. He travelled too much these days and was on an airplane at least twice every other week. Sean hated using any kind of medicine to help calm him down, but there really wasn’t any other remedy.

Looking around, he stretched his arms above his head, careful not to disturb the person in the window-seat next to him. “S’cuse me.” He nodded, making eye contact with the man on his right.

“Mr. Gayle.” A flight attendant knelt next to Sean’s chair. “I know you were asleep for the flight, but is there anything I can get you before you leave?”

“No, no thank you. I appreciate it, though.” He smiled, and then bent over to reach underneath the seat in front of him for the leather satchel-briefcase that Taylor had given him for Christmas.  He ran his fingers over his monogram “SMG” that was ghost-stamped on the front, and thought of her.  He missed her so much.  He was painfully aware of his need to have her with him, and never felt completely himself unless she was by his side.

He opened the bag and found his phone, holding down the button to turn it on.  He wanted to call her.  He craved the sound of her voice.

“Sorry to disturb you again, Mr. Gayle.” The flight attendant returned.

“I don’t typically do this, especially when I’m working in the first class cabin…” she fixed her gaze to the floor of the plane, not making eye contact with Sean, all of a sudden appearing nervous.

“It’s no problem.” Sean assured her, realizing what she was doing.  The plane lurched to a sudden stop and a clear bell rang out, signaling freedom for the passengers. While everyone began to stand up and gather their belongings, the attendant stumbled a bit into the Sean’s chair.  He steadied her, offering his hand.

“My son would just be so incredibly thrilled if you could sign anything…a napkin, a gum wrapper, anything at all!” She gushed, clapping her hands together, hoping he would comply with her request.

“Sure thing. Uh, let’s see what I’ve got here…” Reaching into the pocket of his sport coat, Sean retrieved his boarding pass.  “Do you have a pen, by chance?”

Working quickly to sign the autograph before more passengers made their way to the front of the plane, Sean asked for the boy’s name and signed the ticket with one of his favorite lines “Every moment matters. Always give your best, Sean Gayle.”

The flight attendant giddily read the autograph out loud and thanked Sean over and over again, following him off the plane, promising that he had made her son the happiest boy in all of Chicago that night.

As Sean walked down the long corridors of the airport, he realized how tired he was.  He felt so alone when he took trips like this.  After everything that happened once the group returned from La Huerta (the interviews, the phone calls, the articles, the movie premieres, the book deals), it was all such a blur.  Before he knew it two years of his life had passed. He was drafted by the National Football League, and played professional football, but only for one-and-a-half seasons.  He blamed his retirement on an injury, but really it was his mind that wasn’t up to the task of playing football anymore.

He was a high school football coach now. He didn’t really know anything other than football, at least that’s what he told himself.  He loved the kids he worked with and really felt like he was able to make a difference. Every year more and more school districts from around the area tried to recruit him to come coach their team. They had all kinds of reasons why they wanted him – they tried to lure him away with more money, more prestige, more access to colleges who could one day offer him an even bigger and better job but he always said no.

He loved the small-town life that he and Taylor had created for themselves.  They lived in a modest home, drove regular cars, and had pretty normal jobs and lives – well, as normal as life could be after all they experienced together.  They still couldn’t go anywhere without someone recognizing them, or asking them “What was it really like?” when they were in line at the gas station, or doctor’s office, of all places.

Even just a few days ago, a large cable news network called both Taylor and Sean, asking if they would be willing to come in for a reunion interview with the rest of the La Huerta gang. Sean immediately said no, while Taylor told them she’d think about it.  She always handled people with more grace and kindness than he did.  She handled everything better than he did. Most of the time, Sean felt like a fraud.  He felt like a fake person living inside his own mind and body.

When it wasn’t football season back in the district where he coached, he traveled all over the country to various speaking engagements booked by his agent.  Some seven years after his return from La Huerta, people still clamored to hear Sean Gayle speak.  He talked to CEOs, doctors, high school students, colleges and universities – he was even a featured as a guest at a mega-church one time – and that totally blew his mind because nowadays especially, he was feeling anything but worthy of speaking from a pulpit.

No one but Taylor really knew the toll that La Huerta took on Sean.  Outside he may appear to be the same positive, hard-working, loyal and sacrificial leader that everyone knew him to be prior to that summer trip from hell; but on the inside, he was crumbling.  The nightmares (or in some cases memories turned dreams) had gotten worse over the past year. The flight anxiety had gone away for a while, but once again returned with a vengeance.  He was suffering from mood swings and he could never find a way to work out or go for a run that was long enough, or hard enough to truly rid his mind of the “what-ifs” that plagued him. Even when he was focused on something happy, something that truly brought him joy…in the back of his mind he constantly heard a voice whispering to him: Remember what you went through. Remember how close you were to losing it all. What have you done with the life you’ve been given? You’ve got to keep working, keep moving, focus on the future and what lies ahead.

 He and Taylor had been together since the moment they made it back to Hartfeld.  She had no family, and was pretty much alone.  His family had taken her in from day one and they never looked back. Taylor stayed by his side through his short stint in the NFL. They soon settled into the home they now shared, and she was the most loyal and constant source of support for him throughout that difficult time as a pro.  To keep her company when he was out of town, Sean suggested they get a pet.  Taylor immediately knew she wanted a dog.  She refused to even look at a kitten or a cat. Because of their experience with saber tooth tigers and Furball, she couldn’t bring herself to do it.  She had an aversion to cats and couldn’t bring herself to be around them.  Yet another weird change to everyday life that their time on the island brought them.  They settled on a dog, a German shepherd. They named him Aleister, in honor of one of their closest friends.

They had not married yet; weren’t even engaged.  Taylor didn’t bring it up, and oddly enough, neither did Sean.  Yet, every morning during their daily phone call, his mother would ask, “When are you gonna marry that girl, baby?”

As far as he knew, Taylor loved the life they were living.  She was a counselor at the same school where he coached.  She had written some books (under a different name, of course – not wanting more publicity) after getting two psychology degrees.  One of her books was about being an orphan or an abandoned child, and another focused on living through a stressful or traumatic life-event. She also took great care of the students she was responsible for, and had worked through a lot on her own, after La Huerta.  

Sean was in Chicago only overnight. His flight landed early in the evening and he was now making his way to baggage claim, where he would meet up with his driver, get into a black town car and be taken to a convention center downtown.  He would eat dinner and rub elbows with important people, speak about the power of positivity and leadership, sharing examples and stories from the island, as well as the gridiron.  He’d sleep in a hotel near the airport and head home the next day.  Everything felt like it was on auto-pilot.  There just wasn’t a lot of passion or emotion behind anything he was doing these days.

While he waited for his bag, he was finally able to have a moment to call Taylor.  The background picture on his phone instantly made his heart ache for her. It was a picture that had been sent to him and taken by another coach’s wife. She wasn’t looking at the camera, and the photo was black and white, but he knew she was wearing the high school colors, maroon and gold, while holding a homemade sign that read “Sean Gayle is my HERO.” She was holding it above her head and yelling passionately, but also smiling with her eyes at the same time.  Sean always marveled at her ability to combine fierceness with gentleness; strength with peace; protection and loyalty, with genuine care and concern for others. That picture summed up everything he loved about her and who he knew her to be.

Often, he wondered what people would think if they truly knew how much he relied on her.  The Sean that so many imagined to be strong, tough, valiant and courageous was weak, tired, scared and helpless without the support, encouragement and dedication of the woman he loved.

Sean exhaled as he pressed her name on his phone and listened to the phone ring…and ring…and ring…he desperately wanted to hear her voice tonight, but wasn’t surprised that she didn’t answer.

When her voicemail picked up, he left her a message, even though he knew he could have sent a text, he wanted her to hear from him how much he missed her.

“Hey – it’s me.  I landed in Chicago, just waiting for my bag.” He paused, his voice about to break and tears pricking his eyes. “I’m sorry for the way I left you. I’m so, so sorry, babe.  You didn’t deserve any of that and I don’t have any excuses.  Please forgive me.  I want to know you’re okay. I know you probably don’t want to talk to me, but somehow let me know you’re doing alright. I’m going to fix this. I promise you. I’m going to get better, and we’re going to be okay, and I’m going to be the man you deserve. I miss you so much. My heart hurts. I love you and I’ll call you later.”

“Mr. Gayle?” A gentleman in professional attire approached Sean just as he ended the call.  “I’m here to take you to the conference.”

“Hey man, thanks. Let me get my stuff and I’ll be ready.” His bag was one of the only ones left on the baggage claim, spinning around. He grabbed it quickly and followed his driver out to the car.

–

“Where are you going?” Taylor asked in disbelief.

“I have a flight to catch.” Sean was furiously digging through a drawer looking for something.

“You’re just going to leave?! Sean! Do you have any idea what you’re saying to me right now?” She was calm, but furious.  He always hated how scary she was when he pushed her to the point where she finally got mad.  The more calm and collected she remained, the worse it would be for him.

“I’m done.” He said, zipping up his suitcase.  “We are not having this discussion again.” He quickly turned on his heel and walked towards the closet, pulling of his shirt and tossing it on the floor.  He rummaged through some athletic shirts hanging up and grabbed a faded gray one.

Taylor blocked the doorway, trapping Sean in the closet.  He shimmied out of his pants and started to put on some shorts, when she startled him. “So this isn’t enough for you?”

He pulled his running shorts up to his waist and snapped the elastic across his middle, dramatically.  With a sigh, he responded, “That’s not what I meant.”

“That’s what you said, Sean. You said this,” Taylor gestured wildly, her arms flailing, “…isn’t enough for you.”

“I need to go for a run.  I’ve gotta be on the road in less than an hour. They’ve got a car coming to get me.” He brushed past her. Taylor glared at the wall, remaining stoic, and silent, but wiping a tear off her cheek with the sleeve of her shirt.

When Sean got back from his jog, the house was silent.  Aleister had not even come to the door to greet him, which was unusual.  He mind raced as he thought about the possibility of Taylor being gone, and having taken the dog with her.

As he slowly walked into the bedroom, he could hear Taylor sniffling.  She was still in the closet, slumped on the floor with her back against the wall. Aleister was curled up next to her. When he saw Sean, he got up and wagged his tail.

“Taylor.” Sean got down on his knees next to her.

“You made it clear that we’re done talking about this.” She almost whispered, taking a deep breath.  He couldn’t help but realize for what felt like the millionth time, how naturally beautiful she was.  Her hair was straight, falling just below her shoulders. She was wearing one of his old long-sleeved t-shirts from Hartfeld.  Her face was now red and splotchy from crying so hard. A few dark streaks of makeup were left around the corners of her eyes.

He reached out to her, pulling his legs out from under him so he was fully sitting on the floor next to her. While he tried to put his arm around her, Taylor shrugged him off and stood up on her own.  Looking down at him, she said, “What’s really sad to me about all this,” she once again gestured enthusiastically with her arms, sure to emphasize the word this, “is that while it’s ‘not enough for you’” she made air quotes when she recited what he had said only moments earlier, “sometimes, no most of the time, it’s TOO MUCH for me.” Taylor looked him in the eyes and struggled with her own thoughts and desires in that moment.

Part of her wanted to hold him and be held by him, but the other part was so mad, so angry, she felt in that very minute, she’d be okay never seeing him again.

“Travel safe.” She stepped over him and walked out of the closet, Aleister following her.  Sean could hear her get the leash out of the front closet and then the front door open and close. Sighing heavily, Sean stood up and started the shower.  He laid out a pressed shirt, fresh from the dry-cleaner, some khakis and sport coat on the bed, next to his suitcase.  “Time to go.” He told himself as he looked in the mirror.

–

The next morning, Sean was back at the airport.  He still had not heard from Taylor and he was beginning to be nervous about what he would find when he returned home later that afternoon.  He text Craig, who was always good about giving him moral support in times like this.

 Sean: I know I put too much pressure on her. I rely on her too much. She’s my everything and she knows that…maybe she’s tired. Tired of me. Tired of us.

 Craig: Buddy! No way! Taylor is totally loyal to you, dude.  It’ll be fine. Say your sorry and don’t be mean. She loves you. Just chill out!

For some reason, Craig’s encouragement was not helping the situation.

While Sean waited for his flight, he nervously tapped his foot, watching planes take off and land in the distance.  He realized he was still tired.  Tired of traveling.  Tired of re-living La Huerta every day of his life. What he meant when he told Taylor “this isn’t enough” is that this life is not what he envisioned for himself. He knew there had to be more to life than the monotony he was experiencing. Sean made the decision that when he got back home, he’d take a break from the speeches and the conferences and the interviews.  He’d ask Taylor to marry him. They’d have a real life; no more emotional outbursts and worrying about each other and if they were “really doing okay.”  He was going to take control of his life and stop letting his island experience still control him after all this time.

“Ladies and gentleman waiting in the area for flight 1152 out of Chicago, we want to let you know that the flight has been delayed for, it looks like, about 2 hours.  There are some heavy storms approaching our destination and we want to be safe.  Of course we will let you know of any updates and will do our best to get you out of here as soon as possible, but the weather seems to be against us…”

The gate attendant’s voice droned on and on as Sean tightened his fist, frustrated that he was stuck, yet again, in another airport, away from Taylor, when all he wanted was to be home.

–

A few hours later, Sean finally made it on the plane, headed home.  He had a window seat this time, which also added to his grumpy mood.  He preferred the aisle, it was always more comfortable to him.  He felt like he had an easier exit if he needed one.  Once he sat down, he tried to get comfortable and decided one more time he’d try to call Taylor.  He at least needed to let her know when the flight would be landing.

To his surprise, she answered on the 2nd ring.

“Hey.”

“Hi there.” He responded, turning towards the window to try and make the conversation as private as possible, even with someone sitting a few inches away.

There was a moment of silence on the phone before Sean immediately asked, “Did you get my messages?”

“I did.”

“Are you okay?”

Taylor took a while before responding. “I’ve been better. But I’m okay.”

“Alright.  Well, I wanted to let you know I’m on the plane.  We should be landing in about 2 and half hours, then I’ll be home.”

“Mmhmm.”

“Taylor – I love you.”

She exhaled, before responding. “I know.  Travel safe.”

“Travel safe.” That’s what she always said to him.  Before he could respond, she had ended the call.  He knew he had a long road ahead of him if he wanted to make things better between the two of them.

–

Looking out the window, at the clouds the plane was flying through, and seeing the sun that was setting in the distance, Sean began to daydream about Taylor.  Ever since they had come back home from the island, and especially after he retired from the NFL, whenever he’d be down or have a hard day, she would have on hand or be able to recall from memory, some kind of quote about the sun. She would often tell him things like, “Remember, the sun will still shine tomorrow, even if it’s behind a rain cloud, it’s always shining somewhere.”

She had this way of always looking for the sunshine, or positive outcome, in every situation.  Yellow was one of her favorite colors.  She was always begging Sean to take a walk through the park near their house so they could watch the sunset, and she often got up extremely early to sit outside on their back porch and watch the sunrise.  The sun symbolized so much to her; the dawning of new opportunities with each new day; another opportunity to live this life; the promise that life goes on and the world keeps turning even when circumstances and situations make it seem like life is over.

He remembered one particular day a few years ago.  It was a day that that would seem regular and ordinary to her – but one that would forever stand out in his mind.

Taylor was cooking in the kitchen as Sean walked in, sweaty and tired from his last two-a-day practice before school started.  It was his second season as the head coach at Fairview High and he felt a lot of pressure to have a winning season, since the year before had turned out to be quite dismal. Feeling especially defeated and uninterested in talking to anyone, he tried to paste on a fake smile upon seeing Taylor when he entered from the garage.

Music was blaring, as it often was when Taylor was home alone. She didn’t like silence.  She was humming along to “Here Comes the Sun” by the Beatles.

“Of course.” Sean smiled, muttering to himself.  

The meal she was preparing looked like breakfast for dinner, one of his favorites.  He could smell bacon and instantly his stomach rumbled. She was cutting out biscuits she made from scratch, with a circular cookie-cutter. As she pressed the cutter into the dough, she began to sing some of the lyrics to the song out loud:

 Little darling, I feel that ice is slowly melting Little darling, it seems like years since it’s been clear Here comes the sun, here comes the sun, And I say

It’s all right It’s all right

She still had no idea that he was there and he loved getting a little glimpse into her when he wasn’t around.  He leaned against the doorframe and continued to watch her, mesmerized not only by her beauty, but who she was; who she was made to be; all the pieces that made her the woman he loved more than life itself.

As she continued to place the biscuit dough on the baking sheet, he noticed a few patches of flour on her face, and as his eyes traveled down her body, he realized she had some on her rear as well.  She became frustrated with her bangs falling into her eyes over and over again, letting out an exasperated sigh every now and then.

Slowly, he crept up behind her, putting his arms around her waist and lightly kissing her neck, gently and sweetly. She jumped quickly and tensed up immediately as she felt his arms around her, but then relaxed just as quickly, when she realized what was happening.

“Good God you scared me to death!” She turned around, to face him, looping her arms around his neck, but careful not to touch him with dough and flour on her hands.  He smelled so good to her.  She loved it when he came home after being outside at practice.  She knew he had been working hard, and that he was not feeling especially hopeful about the upcoming season.

“How’d it go?” She asked, searching his eyes for the real answer.

“Been better – the kids say their ready but it doesn’t look like it.” He sighed.

“Well, you know what I’m about to say, don’t you?” She grinned, keeping her eyes locked on his.  “You know what song this is?”

Sean smiled, biting his lip, holding back a laugh.  Not laughing at her in a silly or stupid way, but feeling especially joyful and content; happy to know he had someone in his life who had his back no matter what.  She was always there for him, in his corner to encourage him and be there for him when he was at his worst.  She had seen it all.

“I know.  Here comes the sun…it’s gonna be okay…blah blah blah.” He looked down, resting his forehead against hers.

Instinctively, she closed her eyes and pressed herself closer to him, resting her head on his shoulder.  “I love you.” She sighed, hugging him, no longer worried about the mess she may leave on his shirt.

Sean stepped back, and held her face in his hands, gazing at her. “I could not live without you.” He smiled, running his thumb over a patch of flour on Taylor’s cheek.  

“You almost didn’t.” Taylor smirked, raising an eyebrow.

Still holding her face in his hands, he brought her lips to his and kissed her fervently, gently guiding her back, up against the counter. She put her hands down to steady herself, losing her balance a little bit. Breathless, she pushed him away playfully.

“Go on. Get your shower.  Dinner will be ready soon.” She tried to return to the dough on the counter but Sean grabbed her hand.  

“You’re coming with me.”

Pretending to be put out, and frustrated, Taylor sighed and threw her hands up in the air.  “Fine. I guess if I have to…” She beamed as she held Sean’s hand and followed him out of the kitchen.

–

Sean had now been in the air a total of 4 hours and on the plane almost 5.  The weather had turned ugly again and they kept circling the airport, above the storm, hoping it would clear enough for them to land.  If they didn’t get down on the tarmac soon, they would run out of gas, and would have to land somewhere else to fuel up.

He was just about to reach into his bag for more medicine when a voice overhead announced the flight had been cleared to land.  Sean thought, for a brief moment, he had never been so happy.  About half an hour later, he was exiting the plane. He could feel a weight had been lifted from his shoulders when he was finally free from the confines of his window seat and the plane’s cabin in general.  

This time, he didn’t even check his bag as he wanted to be able to exit the plane, get out of the airport and be on his way home as soon as possible.  It had started to rain now, and he had made his way outside to the line of taxis, each one waiting for eager passengers to pay exorbitant amounts of money to get to their destination.  

A few people were in line in front of him.  With a heavy sigh, he watched as a bright green mini-van pulled up to meet him and take him where he needed to go.  He felt like this was a fitting way for this trip to end. It had started on an awful note and would end that way, too.  

“61st and Treeline.” He said to the driver through the window, while he opened the door to climb into the cab.  As he went to close the door, he heard the faint melody of “Here Comes the Sun” coming from his bag.  He set that song as Taylor’s ringtone, the day after he walked in on her singing it.

Standing next to the cab, in the pouring rain, he answered it while asking the driver to “Hang on one minute.”

“Taylor? What’s going on? You okay?”

“I’m great.  But you’re a little wet.” She sassed, into the phone.

Looking around, over his shoulder he held his bag over his head, shielding his eyes from the bright security lights, hoping to see her somewhere.

“To your left.” She instructed him. His face lit up when he recognized her, leaning against her car.  She had parked in the pick-up area, underneath an awning to stay dry.  He sprinted from the cab towards her, not worried in the least if he was making a scene.

She lightly jogged toward him too, laughing as she watched him make his way to her.  “Did you really think I wasn’t going to come and pick you up?” She asked, trying to catch her breath.

It was their tradition for her to pick him up whenever he came home from being out of town. He assumed she wouldn’t be there this time, given all that had transpired in the last 48 hours. “How do you run like this every day?”

Sean laughed and immediately kissed her.  She jumped into his arms and encircled her legs around his waist, not wanting the moment to pass them by.

“I’ve always wanted to make out in the rain.” He told her, again leaning his forehead against hers.

“Welcome home.” Taylor whispered to him, as she kissed him again.

“Home.  You’re right, Tay. I’m finally home.”

[kateemmerson]

CHAI CHATS: Insights from India Yoga Teachers Training

A new ritual has developed between my soul sister and me. Once family by paper, we are now family by heart … but with our busy lives and my location free living for the past few years, our connection was often relegated to shorthand Whatsapp messages, a gulped cup of coffee when our paths crossed in CT or JHB, or if lucky, a more extended lunch every now and then. Speaking on the phone never quite cuts it, you know? So in 2018, we decided, in our 50’s, to carve out a new annual ritual of dedicated time together.

Even when we attended our first Yoga Spirit Fest (um, to be honest, it was more of a dance fest just no booze or meat), we were already calling it annual!

Precious time for the two of us to connect – lingering conversations over cups of chai tea and coffee, no rush to cover big headlines only, time to slow down and be with each other. All relationships and friendships need this to feed each other. My recent lifestyle in the past few years have felt like a conundrum – loving the gallivanting and adventures but also skating on the surface of many things in my personal quest to live location free. Some of the insights from our conversations that unfolded in between yoga in 2018 have since transpired and come to fruition in my life. New steps were taken, new business decisions put into action and deeper emotions processed. That’s the unbelievable power when someone who cares, just sits and listens without judgment. Simply lets your words land on their heart. Most times, I can find the solution or feel the next step emerging, just in the speaking and the hearing of it land softly. Do you have that person in your life?

Travel takes an inordinate amount of time and energy for me now. I am never in one place long enough to settle into a routine and BE, to immerse or to rest. Some things have definitely suffered –like knowing that I am not always truly present and patient as a partner or friend when truly needed. Also my lack of deeper connection into a community other than fleetingly popping in before waving goodbye again; or never knowing where my next hair cut might turn out (come on gals, you know the stress of that one right?), The lonely downside of gallivanting globally and another plane to catch. Sounds glamorous when I say I live #locationfree, but it is honestly taking its toll where it really counts.

What if what I really want is the thing that is eluding me? How do I make sure I take the right steps to fulfillment and a way forward that is aligned, and not just skip on to the next place that beckons my gypsy soul?

For our annual connection time, “let’s go to India” we said. Soul Sister has been there many times, but this was a bit different for us, my virgin trip. Our ritual for 2019 was to be a Yoga Teachers Training in Rishikesh, even though neither of us is necessarily rushing out to become a full-on teacher, we wanted a deep IMMERSION and better yoga instruction, more than a pampering retreat experience. “Let’s be bold,” we said, “Let’s aim high,” we said. “Dive right in.” Deeply unprepared, just saying yes and showing up, not really knowing what was in store for us as most of the girls and guys were less than half our age. 8 hours of instruction every day in 33-degree humidity. I sweated half my body away. (darn ….I wish)

Here are some personal insights from 7 short nights in Rishikesh, India…

Get Up and Get Out On our very first morning, we both jolted naturally awake at 6 am, like little kids on Divali. Knowing we only started our training at ten am on the first day, we could not resist the pull of the mighty River Ganga a few u-bends below us. The most revered, sacred river in India was just at the bottom of our hill. Flowing like a river in flood, even though the monsoon season is over, this immense gushing river speeds past mountains and villages spreading hope, purification and faith to all. Albeit highly polluted to a western brain, it is the pure liquid that is celebrated in full by everyone. Everything centers around it – and the energy from it was honestly joyous and mesmerizing!

We just pulled on clothes, started walking down the hill, jumped in a tuk-tuk, instinctively negotiated the price to a local rate, and followed our nose down the hill. A few kilometers later we realized we were heading away from the bridge we wanted to walk across, so we just jumped out and started walking back, in the morning cacophony of the streets.

In a country where folk are so compassionate and treat each other with the utmost respect, I felt unbelievably safe. Walking with my bag and camera and not one iota of fear or threat. Just huge smiles were greeting us at every turn – and a few amused looks at my mop of silver hair. All Indian women (unless about 80) have thick black, coconut smelling hair. Even the older men dye their silver hair all sorts of colors. Oh well, best I own my silver dowry proudly as it was fun being asked to have my picture taken with locals.

Before most people on our course were even awake, we had already experienced the colorful context of the sacred Mama Ganga in Rishikesh and where we were spending the week. Do you just get up and out and are you brave and bold when you travel, or shrink away from the experience?

  Witness the Synchronicities While mindfulness is becoming the trendy buzz in the western world, the East just LIVES within this philosophy. It’s in the water, the rivers, the food, the air. Nothing to think about – it just seeps out every pore of the locals. It’s why I have always been drawn to it, I guess. But for Westerners, we often have to force ourselves to be wide-awake, mindful, and in gratitude mode to see what’s unfolding in the magic of each moment.

From screeching with laughter at magically appearing bananas in airports, to a profound 45-second sighting of the Dalai Lama floating past us in Delhi domestic airport, to a loved Ashram literally just down the road from our yoga school, to closed doors being unlocked and opened for us in sacred spaces, To caves of profound silence, to intense conversations from all the teachers we experienced that just kept saying the right thing at the right time for me (offering several objective teachings for me personally) ….we just kept noticing and laughing at all the love and life that showed up for us.

Do you witness all the little wonders of synchronicity in life that show up in each moment? Sometimes you just have to lift your eyes and look, deeply look, with soft eyes. Soft eyes will laugh! Soft bellies will laugh. We shouldn’t have a six-pack, just one pack that knows how to live, love, and laugh!

  Take it as it Comes You either love it, or you hate it – there is just NO grey in India

India is honestly hot, smelly, chaotic, dirty, and everything else in between. Loud, colorful, generous, poor and sacred. You can either embrace it all, inhale deeply and let it seep into your bones for the full experience, or you can be precious and tiptoe through your time there and hate every minute. And you can never know that until you go! Reading about a place, dreaming about a place, making plans to visit a place, watching movies about a place do not do anything to replace BEING in a place. No short cuts – not even with high definition movies or virtual reality. The power is in the experience of it. Always. We attempt to pre-empt too much with our western brains.

India will likely push your buttons – it pushed mine. But I chose to sink into the experience and surrender. The true art of letting go right? The very darn thing I teach with my de-cluttering and concept of #livelightlivelarge. We cannot control everything in life, but I can do my best to control how much I squirm or delight in response to life and just be ok with it all. That’s within my realm of control. Living in our little haven of Swiss Cottage above Rishikesh was humid, hard, loud and dirty – yet utterly delightful, sacred and filled with unbounded love and respect for life, each other and yoga. 33-degree rooms have no aircon – we’ll still breathe, and I love Bikram, right?

No shoe policy indoors means kinda dirty feet all the time. Who cares. I and my grubby clothes literally smelled all week, no matter what I tried. You know it’s bad when you catch a whiff of yourself! Banknotes than probably have ten diseases present – well bless the money and just pass it on. Weak instant coffee for my daily fix was like gold – until I see a gleaming coffee machine on day 5! The delight in my eyes lit up the whole village! Bikes, cars, tuk-tuks, buses, cows, monkeys, dogs and people all one trail – just keep your wits about you!

Can you honestly allow yourself to immerse fully? If not, then perhaps regroup and get the heck out!

  Impact of gratitude Gratitude in India appears a different concept – they see everything they do as an act of service, of love, of serving their faith. With no expectation other than to serve and help. No gratitude needed. I have so much to learn here – I am far more Westernised in my thinking of in and out, give and receive, thank you and showing appreciation. Maybe I need to surrender into service more, to do for the joy of doing, give for the joy of giving. The selflessness oozes out of their pores and shows me up to me!

Our yoga philosophy teacher says when a family makes chapattis, they offer up the first three: one to the gods, one to the cows and one to nature. If very poor, they will split one into three to give the first “three” away, and only then feed the family. Sacred ritual. So often when we as westerners show our thanks by “tipping,” we feel we have helped the other person. But actually, they have allowed us to serve and help them. We are the lucky ones in being able to give, not them for receiving!

This is such a personal test for me – when I saw the look on our teachers’ faces when gifting them something for the week– not even knowing what was in the envelope money wise- it was humbling to see the honest gratitude of being appreciated when no expectation is present. It’s filled with pure love.  No airs and graces, zero expectation. I witnessed such a transition of the ego into the spirit. What we all aim for, right?

These are powerful, dedicated teachers who devote their lives to healing and teaching – and within them runs a deep humbleness that was profound to witness. A small thank you brings so much joy mostly I feel because they see the joy in our giving too. The cycle of life?

So the question I ask is am I honestly being grateful for everything I have and can I do more in service, without expectation of return, or is the western way of always wanting ‘more’ detrimental to inner peace? Seeking more love, more fun, more attention, more sharing. More peace. What about acceptance of what is?  I need to understand the balance of giving with no need for anything in return and balance that with seeking and living with joy and passion. Going where energy flows and spirit is free. I’m finding this is my lesson at the moment.

What’s your current lesson in life?

The amount of money, number of houses, or jewels on our fingers does not a happier, more peaceful person make. That comes from within. I have really attempted to be more satisfied with less, to be living without a home, without too many possessions and needing less generally. Living mostly from a suitcase in the last 3.5 years, ever moving, ever restless, ever traveling, I have been trying my best to tread lightly as I go. Leaving somewhere a little better than when I arrived.

But I still seek lots of experiences in the world. Always wanting more, India taught me about being grateful for every little thing that IS, not what could be. Who can you give to today, who can you be thankful for, who can you acknowledge – whether by saying something or offering a token of your thanks? It’s all about the smile – make people smile and let yourself laugh from your belly!

  Different Teachers, Different Strengths Everyone I came across had something to teach, prod, nudge, or remind me about. There was no getting out of it when 8 hours of every day were immersed in some aspect of the training. The power of ego and how it shows up, the power of purification in the morning even when I was apprehensive of the neti pot, the anticipation of a hard class that landed up being delightful, the blessing of hearing that looking after your own passion and walking away when something doesn’t bring you deep joy, is ok. Truly ok. Everything is perfect just as it is, and you must follow your heart and try to do no harm in the process.

And often it was about how to find the JUICINESS in your hamstrings! Can you imagine – juicy hamstrings? My legs just light up at the thought of being juicy. Learning how going back the most basics of basic yoga positions is often harder than doing the complicated asanas. But all spoke the same thread – it’s all about preparation and purification for meditating, in order to reach enlightenment and compassion. Simple.

My overall take away is that everything and everyone counts – each and every perspective make up the matrix of the whole, and we have to choose what we need at each step along the way. I was left with the conundrum of understanding and knowing in my soul where I am, juxtaposed with how to remain patient, kind and trusting that we each have to walk our own journey. My eternal dilemma in life.

I also remember that we don’t have to be all things to all people – we each resonated and gelled with different teachers during the week. Just like we resonate with different people in our line of work – yet often we take it so personally if we feel like we aren’t reaching enough people, or getting enough business. I am in charge of MY life, and if I can help you change yours because we resonate, fantastic. If not, there is someone better to support your journey professionally.

Do you live your life with this knowing – that the right people will find their way to you and vice versa?

How can I have such tolerance in some areas and zero in others? I realized with a revolting jolt that I can feel 200% patience with strangers, and yet complete intolerance for my near and dear. No matter how many times people might tell me that I am impatient, and too fast, I still have to internalise the lesson. What’s that about, hey? I think that when any of us humans are feeling un-appreciated, un-seen, and un-loved, every part of our small-minded pettiness, aka the ego, comes up for grabs. Well, mine does! As impatience and intolerance. Mostly for myself, then for others. So my more in-depth attempt is to find a way to be more graceful and a little less ego-driven. Yikes, that’s a blooming tough one! My personal double-edged sword!

How often in life that my / your energy, action, and kickass-ness translates in the very next breath to impatience, intolerance, and judgment, for myself and those closest to me. Knowing how to walk that fine line takes wisdom. The whole week in India, all I felt from our teachers was grace, patience, and compassion. What a joy to behold, and I realize how much I have to learn from their presence in my life.

India was a transitional gift to my soul, and a time where CHAI CHATS with Nats are forever etched in my heart.

I simply have taken the next step on my journey, trusting I am truly where I need to be, no matter what. Because there is simultaneously also deep joy – the essence of both that life requires!

I trust in the bigger picture that …

…if something is meant to be, nothing can stop it, and if something is not meant to be, nothing can make it so.

Namaste

CHAI CHATS: Insights from India Yoga Teachers Training was originally published on Kate Emmerson - The Quick Shift Deva

[toasty-coconut]

Well, after a very long two weeks I am finally ready to give you all an update post on my life and my family’s current situation.

For those of you who are unaware, on June 12th, 2017, my 15-year-old cousin, Reid, unexpectedly lost his life while on a Boy Scout hiking trip. I don’t want to get too far into the details of the situation for personal reasons, but he suffered heat stroke a few hours into the trip up the mountain and collapsed. Paramedics were unable to reach him in time with a chopper due to electrical storms on the mountain. When the EMT (a truly wonderful woman) finally reached him by horseback, she and the other scouts who he was with performed CPR on him for an hour and a half before he passed.

My family received the news of his passing a few hours later, and it broke each and every one of us. My cousin was an amazingly wonderful boy with so much love in his heart. He hated no one, and accepted everyone of all races, sexual orientations, gender identities, and personalities. He loved music and being a part of the Boy Scouts. The trip he was on was going to be his final merit badge that he needed in order to become an Eagle Scout. He performed in the men’s choir and show choir at his school and loved every second of it. He was an immensely talented and kind-hearted boy with so much to offer to the world. Losing him took a toll on every single one of us, in part because he was so young, but more so because of what an amazing and loving person he was. None of us could understand why it had to be him (and we still can’t).

22 members of my family (including myself) flew out to Texas last Sunday in order to be with my aunt, uncle, and cousin (his older sister) for Reid’s wake and funeral. Going out there and seeing the total anguish that my aunt and uncle were feeling, along with seeing my cousin’s body at the wake and saying goodbye to him at his funeral, were probably the hardest things I have ever needed to do in my life. Things like this should never happen—especially not to a child who did not want to die and who still had so much to offer to the world. That is what has been hardest for all us of to wrap our heads around. But being surrounded by my family gave me strength through that very difficult time. We were all able to cry together and lean on each other when we needed it. My family was already very close-knit to begin with (I have 14 cousins on my mother’s side and we are all relatively close in age—we basically grew up together), but through this we’ve ultimately all grown even closer, I think.

Reid’s wake and funeral were both very lovely memorial of his life—as hard as they were to be a part of. The Boy Scouts did a wonderful tribute to him at both services, and Somewhere Over the Rainbow was sung at his funeral, as it was his favorite song. To boot, everyone wore orange since it was his favorite color. His life may have been short, but it was clear how many people he impacted in that time. The church and funeral home were packed with friends and family, all of whom were shedding tears for him. His life may be over now, but he will certainly never be forgotten.

From all of this, I think the most important thing that I’ve taken away is to cherish every moment that you have with the people you love, because you can lose them at any second. I wish I had gotten to know Reid better. I wish he and I had watched The Lion King together like he wanted to while he was here for Thanksgiving. I wish I had talked to him more on the phone whenever my aunt and uncle called my house. I wish I had talked to him more about Pokemon since I know that was one of our shared interests. These are all things that I’ll never be able to get back. Even if I know that Reid is still with me in spirit, it’s still difficult to wrap my head around the fact that I’ll never see him again in this life. I’ll never get to see his graduation pictures or enjoy his funny personality at Thanksgiving or see him at a family wedding. So just cherish all of those small moments that you have with the people you care about—because it doesn’t matter how old or healthy they are, they can still disappear from your life in a second.

To go with that, I’m also learning not to sweat the small stuff so much and let petty arguments and dumb things get in the way of relationships. My aunt, uncle, and I have always had some level of tension between us as they are fairly conservative and I am fairly liberal. But at the end of the day I was hugging them both in tears and telling them how much I loved them. I wish this had never happened to them. Never again do I want to have a petty Facebook fight with them or anyone else for that matter. Don’t waste time being pointlessly angry when you can be loving someone instead. Reid always hated hate, so I want to live by his example and have a bigger heart and let go of the things that bother me. It’s what he would have wanted.

With all of that being said, I would also like to mention that through this all my friends have been so amazingly supportive of me. Carly, Dimitri, Cait, and Audrey (I apologize for not using their Tumblr names in this post, but this post is so personal to me that I want to address them personally) came to visit Kelly and I during the time that this happened. Actually, I received the news that Reid had passed only an hour after we picked up Carly from the airport. I was supposed to be spending ten days with them, but unfortunately my time with them was cut short since I needed to go to Texas for almost five of those days. They were very understanding of me and let me talk or cry or get angry or depressed. They distracted me when I needed it and made me laugh when I needed it. Carly even went as far as to rebook tickets that we had purchased to go and see the musical Wicked in Boston, covering all the charges herself. And Audrey purchased me some really wonderful Love Live gifts even though she definitely did not need to. There’s so much that my friends did for me that I can’t even begin to explain it all.

I knew it before, but all of this made me realize that I truly have the greatest friends in the entire world. I know I complain about Tumblr a lot, but if it hadn’t been for this website than I would have never met any of them. I’m grateful for that, because they’ve become such a huge and essential part of my life now. In just two weeks they’ve done more for me than most people ever have. Someday I really want to pay it forward and do the same for all of them. I know you guys are probably reading this now, so seriously, thank you. You all saved me in a time where I needed it more than ever. I thought it was just bad timing that Reid passing happened right as you were all visiting, but maybe it was meant to happen that way because of how incredible you all were for me and my family. I promise you all from here on out I’m going to be the best friend I can be for you all. I love you all so, so much.

As for where I’m going from here, well, I have a long road ahead of me. Reid’s death has taken an enormous toll on me emotionally—so much so that I saw my psychiatrist again for the first time in years. I’ve needed to discuss my problems with depression and anxiety for a long time, and now I’m finally taking the steps to do that. I’m on the medications that I need to be on in order to assure that I start to walk down the road of recovery, but I know that it’s going to be a long one. But I’m hoping that the help I’m getting, combined with the support of my friends and family, will guide me into living a better and happier life. I want to be able to write more, I want to have fun on this blog again, I want to work on my characters again, I want to talk to my friends more. All of these things are things that will come with my depression getting more manageable, I hope. So please keep me in your thoughts and bear with me as I face this new path ahead.

That being said, I’m actually going to be leaving with Kelly to go to LA on Tuesday morning in order to visit our friend Emily. We’re going to be going to Anime Expo and seeing Aqours in concert together, along with doing some sight-seeing and general hanging out. I’ve never been to the American west coast before, so I’m really excited for it. This is going to be a much needed vacation after a very long two weeks (and an even longer six months if you include other things that have been happening in my life that have contributed to this final mental breakdown). Please pray for our safe travels and a safe trip.

All of that pretty much concludes this very long post. I’m sure I’m forgetting things, but I just wanted to get this all out there to give you an update on my life. I’m sorry for being so absent lately—a large factor of it has been my depression. But I’m serious when I say this time that I want to start using this blog more and interacting with all of you again. I miss Tumblr as a creative platform, because it really is a wonderful one. I’ve mentioned it before, but I am fairly social on Twitter. If any of you wish to interact with me, I suggest following me there as well.

Please continue to keep my family in your thoughts and prayers as we struggle to cope with the loss of a very precious family member. I’ve also mentioned this before, but if you still wish to donate to Reid’s memorial fund, the link is here. All proceeds will benefit Reid’s Boy Scout troop 336 and the Voices of Central Show Choir. Reid loved both of these activities very much, and there are many children who would love to participate in them, but do not have the money to do so. The money earned here will allow for them to do that. It’s what Reid would have wanted, as he was such a giving boy. If you wish to learn more about Reid’s story, please consider viewing the wonderful story done on him by NBC Dallas Fort Worth. It captures who Reid was beautifully, and I wish for more people to know about what an amazing person he was.

As a final note, always remember: Be safe, don’t sweat the small things, and tell the ones you care about that you love them.

[friendlyneighborhoodwhateve-blog]

The Alphabet of Love // Rafael Casal

Here I am, this was not the first thing in writing queue but it just begged to be written.

I blame Ren ( @alexanderhamllton ) for turning me into Rafa trash and thank Charley ( @always-blame-jefferson ) for listening to my ideas.

My other stuff is here!

Requests are always  open!

Word Count:3743, I’m not even sorry.

-

The Alphabet of Love

A is for Airport.

That’s where you first met.

You being a writer and he being a singer, there weren’t many ways you could meet but on that fateful afternoon your paths met quite forcefully when someone bumped on you on the busy airport, spilling your hot coffee all over your shirt.

“Oh my, I’m so sorry.” You looked up to see a blonde-ish man profusely apologizing.

“It’s no problem.”

“Here, take this at least.” He said, taking a shirt from his carry-on bag.

“You don’t want to spend your flight with a wet, transparent shirt.”

Looking down, you could see that you light blue shirt had become slightly see through due to the spilled drink.

“Thank you.”

The meeting was short lived as your flight was announced over the intercom system, making you smile at the man one more time before leaving.

His shirt smelled of cologne and books.

B is for Brooklyn.

That’s where you worked.    

For now at least.

As a writer, you moved around a lot due to your job and since your new novel was set in Brooklyn, you had moved there to research. One, surprisingly sunny, autumn day you were walking through the streets, trying to find inspiration to write again when you caught sight of a familiar blonde head getting into a cab.

No way.

Brooklyn was also a place Rafael liked to visit once in a while; it had this feeling of home he couldn’t explain. Bored, he decided to visit Daveed at the Richard Rogers. As he got into the cab, he turned to look out of the window and saw a familiar face.

Coffee girl.

I'm

As much as he wanted to talk to you again, the cab sped down the road before either of you could say a word.

C is for Chance.

That’s what brought (Y/N) and Rafael together once again; It seemed fate was hell bent on bringing them together.

Daveed, Rafa and some other people who had arrived early for the day’s show were lounging in Daveed’s dressing room when a frantic Lin walked past the open door.

“He must’ve forgotten that someone was visiting today.” Remarked Pippa.

A few minutes later they all gathered backstage on Lin’s request, apparently someone important was visiting, Rafa stuck to the back of the small crowd.Who could it be?

No fucking way, (Y/N) thought when she looked towards the back of the room and saw him again.

“Everyone this is (Y/N) (Y/L/N), the bestselling writer and my college friend.” Lin said giddiness evident in his voice. ”She is researching for a new book and watching the show too, so just go on about your stuff as usual.”

While she remained talking to Lin, a rapid conversation that was a mixture of English and Spanish, Rafa pulled Daveed aside.

“Coffee girl is (Y/N).”

“Dude, you spilled coffee on her? Really?”

“Yes, he did. And he also owes me a new cup of coffee.” You said, cutting into their conversation. “By the way Daveed, I’m a huge fan.”

The three talked and walked around the theater until it was time for Daveed get ready; then it was just the two of you. Looking closely Rafa could recognize the shirt you were wearing; it was the same one he gave to you a week ago.

“About that cup of coffee, I know this really good place on Brooklyn if you still want it.” You smiled when he said that, it was weird the way the connection you felt to him after knowing the man for less than a day.

“Friday afternoon?”

“It’s a date.”

D is for Date.

That’s what they went on that Friday.

(Y/N) were beyond nervous, you hadn't had a date in a while, after your career had picked up three years ago, the dating scene was the last thing in your mind.  It had been too long since you had felt the thrill that came when you got ready for a date, the flutter in your heart that accompanied looking at someone you liked.

Rafael was jittery waiting for you outside of the coffee shop. After the disastrous end his last relationship had, dating wasn't something he wanted to get back to so soon but then you showed up and stood beside Lin, all wide eyed and smiling, talking to everyone and he swore it was sign from above.

Down the street he could see you coming, wearing a bright orange dress and his heart skipped a beat.

"Hey there." Your smile was so bright it could stop a war, at least on Rafael's mind.

"Hello." He replied.

The afternoon flew by, the couple sat in the table, talking until the coffee closed and they were forced to go their separate ways.

E is for Eager.

Rafael couldn’t wait to see her again; you had left him with your phone number and the promise to see him again.

Currently he was sat on Daveed's couch, staring at his phone like a love sick teenager.

"Just call her already man." Said Anthony, the man had decided to join them for the afternoon and had been nagging him about (Y/N).

From Rafa

To (Y/N)

Hey, what are you doing?

From (Y/N)

To Rafa

Nothing.

From Rafa

To (Y/N)

Coffee?

From (Y/N)

To Rafa

I'll meet you there.

F is for Finnish.

"You speak Finnish?"

"And seven more languages, but yes, Finnish is one of them."

The couple laid on the couch, bodies entwined, talking. Somehow the conversation had drifted to (Y/N)'s books and how she translated them to all the languages she knew when they were done, just so she could see them with other eyes.

Rafa knew he was falling when his heart stopped upon seeing your eyes light up while you talked about all the other languages you wanted to learn, he loved the way your passion for languages and learning seeped into your voice and made your speech speed up, the tiny dimple in you left cheek and the dash of freckles across the bridge of your nose.

He loved you.

G is for Glad.

No one had seen either of them so happy before.

Wherever you went, people watched. It was rather uncommon to see two people so happy, so obviously in love with each other.

Every once in a while you visited the Richard Rodgers theater again, for research obviously, that meant that so did Rafa visit. Truth was you had taken an unexpected liking to not only the people but the place as well, the atmosphere had trapped you and refused to let go. What was supposed to be one stand-alone book had quickly turned into a trilogy, you sat in Daveed's dressing room once again, Rafa by your side, discussing how the first book was going to end, your boyfriend had insisted in co-writing the books with you.

"Look at them." Said Chris from the doorway. "They're so happy, it's beautiful."

Lin was standing beside Chris looking at his friends; he had never seen you so happy before. Since you didn't have any close family, he decided to pull a "big brother" move and held Rafa's arm as he went to follow you out of the room.

"If you hurt her, I'll end you." The seriousness in his voice surprised Rafael.

"I won't."

H is for Hospital.

That wasn’t the call (Y/N) had been expecting.

Since your boyfriend was away on business, he was calling you more often than the usual (he usually called you at least three times a day), so when your phone rang your mind automatically went to Rafa but an unknown number was showing up on the caller ID.

“Is this (Y/N) (Y/L/N)?” A male voice spoke from the other end.

“Yes. Who am I talking to?”

“This is Justin Vega, I am a nurse from the New York community Hospital and you’re listed as one of Rafael Casal’s emergency contacts, he has been in an accident…”

The rest of his words fell on deaf ears as your phone clattered to the ground. This must be some sick sort of joke from the universe; it wouldn’t dare taking away the man you loved. You were vaguely aware of Lin and Daveed entering your apartment and taking you to meet Rafa.

I is for I love you.

Rafa could hear commotion outside of the curtains they had placed around his bed, he wished to get up and see what was happening but his pounding head and broken leg made everything more difficult. In a flurry, curtains opened to reveal a frazzled looking (Y/N), the haze in his mind cleared just a little bit upon seeing her face.

“I love you.” Were the first words to leave her mouth.

“I love you too.”

J is for Jell-O

The other day he still had to stay in the hospital for observation due to the risk of a concussion and of course you had stayed by his side. Now you regretted the decision a little as you were faced with hospital food, one of the things you hated the most; the bright red gelatin practically stared at you from the tray and you began playing with it.

“What are you doing with the food?” Rafa was glad for anything that was an excuse to distract him from the awful food.

“The gelatin is bouncy. Look!” to illustrate the point, you hit the red thing your spoon. This turned out to be a bad idea because the cup bounced too much, hit you tray, throwing it to the ground. In a valiant effort to save your food, Rafa ended up dropping his tray too.

“I’ll go get us some food.” You said, happy for the fact you didn’t have to eat the hospital food anymore.

“I love you (Y/N).”

“I know.”

K is for Kiss.

You wished he didn’t have to leave again.

After the accident, Rafa had managed to get a few weeks off of work to recuperate but now life was calling again and he had to go back to his house in LA. He spent so much time with you in Brooklyn that you nearly forgot his place of residence was all the way across the country.

“I will call you every day.”

Your eyes were watery, and so were his.

“I love you (Y/N)”

“I love you Rafa.”

You kissed him one last time before he disappeared into the departure gates.

L is for Long-distance.

Skype calls were not being enough, despite spending at least one hour every night talking to him, his absence was taking its toll on you. Your visits to the theater weren’t as animated as before and your smile was less bright.

On the night of your one year anniversary, your Skype call had a little more tears than the usual. The conversation went just like every day but you longed to see his face again.

“I miss you Rafa.”

“I know love, I miss you too.”

The sound of his voice was enough for a fresh wave of tears begin.

M is for Music.

“Hear me out, a music festival in Georgia.”

That week you were supposed to meet Rafa somewhere but his schedule was tight and so was yours. Your new book was finished, your editor had loved the collaboration you did with Rafa and it was on the first stages of development, which meant a lot of meetings so Rafael had proposed that you meet halfway this weekend to do something you both loved.

Once your eyes met in the crowded airport, it was like in the movies. You dropped the bag you were holding, running to his arms.

How you had missed him, your life with him was like one song, the moments you were together being the most perfect chords.

N is for Napping.

More often than not, Daveed would find the couple asleep. time or place didn’t matter, if given more than five minutes and relative quietness, they both be asleep. It was endearing to see them laying on the couch, laptops forgotten, bodies tangled.

Every cast member, company members as well, had at least three different pictures of them, in varied occasions, asleep.

O is for Oxygen.

(Y/N) was the air he breathed.

How had he managed to live without you for so long was one of his most recurring thoughts.

Every time he looked at you, saw your smile, your eyes, the way you danced when you thought he wasn’t looking, every time you did basically anything he felt like a piece of his heart broke of and attached itself to you.

It became increasingly difficult to tell you goodbye, too know it would be days, maybe even weeks, before you saw each other again.

P is for Proposal.

A few days later, Rafael made a big decision.

“Move in with me.” He said over the video chat.

“What? Are you serious?”

“As a heart attack. If you got your mail today, which I’m sure you did, there is a black box within your apartment right now.”  You should have known that he had something to do with the strange package you had received that morning. “Now open it.”

Inside the box there were two things: a small silver key and plane tickets.

“Oh my, yes! Of course!”

One week later he drove her to their home.

Q is for Question.

You were an unusually early riser on weekends, they were your free days and you liked to enjoy them to their fullest, so you put on some quiet music and began making breakfast for the two of you, when Classic by Mkto began playing, you quietly began to sing and dance along with it.

The smell of pancakes woke Rafael up. You were dancing around in the kitchen, wearing one of his shirts, he had never been more in love with you. His feet carried him to the bedroom and back in a few seconds.

"Hey there." You could feel his arms wrap around your waist from behind so you turned off the stove and turned to face him.

"Marry me." The words were mumbled so quietly against your lips that you nearly didn't catch them.

"Okay."

"I'm being serious here (Y/N)."

"So am I."

R is for Real.

"There you go." Said Vanessa placing the final bobby pin on your hair.

A few months later you stood in a wedding dress, fidgeting nervously as Vanessa, your maid of honor, fixed your hair. You could hear Lin enter the room and stop in his tracks.

"Mi hermana, estás tan linda."  

Lin was taking her down the aisle on what was the best day of her life, he and Vanessa had become her family when she didn't have one so to have them with her today only added to the amazing day, Daveed was Rafael's best man and he was elated for his friends, with time he began to see (Y/N) as his sister too.

As you swayed to the sweet sound of Ed Sheeran's Tenerife Sea, your eyes met Rafa's and the rest of the world disappeared. It was surreal the way you both were feeling.

If there was a way to freeze one moment of your life to live in it forever, this was the one you'd pick. This was real, this was you life.

S is for Someday.

"How many kids do you want?"

"Someday I'd love to have three at least."

You and Rafael were laying down on the grass in Central Park, watching the clouds and just talking about life. It was one of the rare moments your mind was completely relaxed, nothing about the whirlwind that your life had become due to the fact that your new book series was turning into a tv series could even bother you right now.

You made plans for your future because you knew that you had all the time in the world.

T is for Thor.

It was a day like any other, you were finishing your morning run through one of the many parks in LA when suddenly your legs flew out from under you, when you recovered from the fall you could see a beautiful dog sniffing away at your legs. As if a light bulb had gone off in your head, you scooped up the little guy in your arms and began walking with renewed energy.

"Love, I'm home!"

The unusual quietness in the apartment threw Rafa off, then you exited the laundry room with a nervous face and alarms began blaring in his mind.

"So you want the good news or the bad news first?"

"Bad news first." He braced himself for impact.

"Well, the bad news are, actually it's just one bad news, our son made the biggest mess in the bathroom."

"Our son?"

The question was answered in the form of a puppy excitedly running out of the laundry room and on to his legs.

"I've named him Thor."

U is for Universe.

"So? What's the result?" Came Vanessa's voice over the phone.

"It's positive. I'm going to be a mother."

That conversation had happened a week ago, your period had been mysteriously missing and you knew what it could  mean, so you dialed Vanessa's phone to wait for the results with you. Now as you got ready for your date night, you thought of a way to tell him about your pregnancy. Tonight's date was rather simple, a picnic and stargazing. Your dress did little to hide the already showing small baby bump.

The basket filled to the brim with food was soon empty, Rafa stared at (Y/N).

"Why are you looking at me like that? I'm eating for two, you know?"

The cat was definitely out of the bag now.

"Two?"

V is for Valerie.

Your baby was growing healthily, a considerable bump now on display. Last week you had found out that you and Rafa would be proud parents to a baby girl.

You had made the trip down to New York to see Lin's final bow as Hamilton and catch up with the friends you had made. Currently you, Luz, Vanessa, Pippa, Jazzy and Reneé were sat in a table on the same coffee shop where your first date with Rafa had been, brainstorming names for your daughter.

"... I suggest Valerie."

Something clicked when you heard the name and you quickly sent your husband a text.

From (Y/N)

To Rafa

Valerie.

From Rafa

To (Y/N)

Perfect.

W is for Won’t.

A very bad thing has happened.

You scream into the night, waking Rafa up. Your abdomen feels like it is on fire, and you scream even more upon the sight of your bloody sheets, moments later your body decides to shut down instead of dealing with so much pain.

Lin didn't expect to wake up in the middle of the night with a call from a very frantic Rafa, the first few minutes of the call were spent trying to calm he down; then Lin called Daveed and Luz so they could go to the hospital as well. He sped to the hospital with Vanessa by his side.

You were as pale as the sheets around you, so many things attached to your body. It made Rafa's heart clench knowing that he'd have to tell you what happened to your daughter, he prepared himself once again when he felt you stir.

Your mind eases into consciousness again, the first thing your eyes saw were Rafa's hands, holding yours tightly.

"You're up." He said, the sheer happiness in his face was enough to calm you down just a bit.

"What happened?"

"The doctors said that you had a spontaneous abortion, they couldn't save Val."

No, no, how could this have happened? You had taken all of the necessary precautions for your pregnancy, only visiting the set once a week, resting enough, eating the right foods. How?

His eyes filled with tears and so did yours, your baby was dead. You cried for a long time, clinging on to him.

"Hey, look at me love. Remember when we got married, what did I tell you?"

"Us against the world."

Those words reassured you that no matter what happened, together you'd go through everything.

X is for multiplication.

Rafa made it his job to multiply the joys in your life.

The first few weeks after that were extremely difficult but he was by your side every step of the way.

When you didn't feel like doing anything the entire day, he'd call everyone to postpone your agenda (and his agenda as well), just so you could spend the day in bed, watching Friends again.

When you felt like crying, he'd hold you and cry with you.

He took you to your favorite places, bought your favorite foods, did everything he could to make you happy again.

Everyone around the both of you did what they could to help. Lin called everyday, he talked to you both for at least an hour, with his tight schedule you knew how much his time meant. Daveed gifted you with tickets to your favorite Broadway show, Pippa baked you the tastiest banana bread you had ever eaten.

And little by little, life moved on, like it always does.

Y is for Year.

It was winter again.

You were taking a walk in the park with Thor, he wasn't as active as he used to be. The past year had been an emotional roller coaster but you had made it out alive and well in the end.

You were living in London now, working in Mary Poppins with Lin while Rafael taught a course in Oxford. The city was what you needed to move on, soon enough you were happy again. On Fridays, Lin, Vanessa, Rafa and you went to nights out in the city.

Slowly, you allowed yourself to dream again.

Z is for Zeitgeist, the movie.

After many years, you had finally convinced Rafa to watch it.

Everything was set, the popcorn was ready, Netflix was loaded and Noah was blissfully asleep in his bedroom. After many years, you hadn't managed to leave London, it had grown in you and became your home. Your books were still best sellers and Rafa was successful in anything he tried to do.

Sure, there were fights, there were scream and tears but it was love.

You wouldn't have it any other way.

[allineednow]

<p>Trump sees 'Wonder' Puerto Rico survival, ignores critics - Western Mass News - WGGB/WSHM</p>

By JILL COLVIN and CALVIN WOODWARD Associated Press

SAN JUAN, Puerto Rico (AP) - Touring a little slice of Hurricane Maria's devastation, President Donald Trump congratulated Puerto Rico on Tuesday for escaping the higher death toll of "a real catastrophe like Katrina" and heaped praise on the relief efforts of his administration without mentioning the sharp criticism the federal response has drawn.

"Really nothing short of a miracle," he said of the recovery, an appraisal at odds with the grief of many still struggling to find water and food away from the capital city in wide swaths of an island where only 5 percent of energy customers have power back. The death count of 16 is expected to grow.

In the heart of San Juan a few miles from the air base where Trump gave his report individuals piled clothes and mattresses lacking electricity nearly two weeks. "Nobody's come," said Ray Negron, 38, collecting debris in the Playita neighborhood.

Trump vowed an all-out effort to assist the island while adding, somewhat lightly, "Now I hate to tell you, Puerto Rico, but you have thrown our budget a little out of whack because we have spent a lot of cash on Puerto Rico. And that's fine. We've saved a lot of lives."

Known deaths from Maria in the U.S. territory stand at 16. But local officials warning that any accounting of death and destruction is far from complete as effects are suffered by individuals from thirst, hunger and extreme heat without air conditioning. As for Katrina, as many as 1,800 people died in 2005 when levees protecting New Orleans broke, a toll in property and lives that took years to understand.

The trip offered evidence of the unconventional route Trump has taken in responding to the punch from Maria, Irma and hurricanes Harvey. His effusive praise for relief efforts has overshadowed his displays of empathy for those people who are suffering. And in Puerto Rico an off note has been struck by his criticism of people for not doing more to help themselves during a time of crisis.

Trump said his trip was "not about me" but then praised local officials for offering kind words about his administration's recovery effort and encouraged one to replicate the "nice things" she'd said earlier. Trump also singled out Gov. Ricardo Rossello for "giving us the highest compliments"

"Every death is a horror," he explained, "but if you look at a real tragedy such as Katrina and you consider the tremendous, countless and hundreds and hundreds of people that died, and you look at what happened here with, really, a storm which was just totally overpowering, nobody has ever seen anything like this." He told local officials "you can be very proud of all of your people, all of our people working together."

Known deaths from Maria in the U.S. territory stand at 16. But local officials warning that any accounting of death and destruction is far from complete as effects are suffered by individuals from thirst, hunger and extreme heat without air conditioning. As for Katrina, as many as 1,800 people died in 2005 when levees protecting New Orleans broke, a toll in property and lives that took years to understand.

The most notable critic in Puerto Rico, San Juan Mayor Carmen Yulin Cruz of Trump, joined officials at the air base to get a briefing shook the president's hand and said afterward she expected he now understood the situation's gravity. But his comment implying Maria was not a event left her unsure.

"Sometimes his style of communication gets in the way," she told CNN. "I'd hope that the president of the United States stops spouting out remarks that really hurt the people of Puerto Rico."

On a more positive note, Cruz said "I saw a real connection between the reality and the White House staff. I think they finally realized." In a tweet, she pointedly excluded the president as she credited his people with now understanding "the disconnect between how things should happen and the way they really happen."

Air Force One brought first lady Melania Trump the president and aides to Puerto Rico for a tour.

Parts of the itinerary were drawn to ensure a friendly reception: Trump visited the homes of selected families waiting on their lawns.

One of the fastest to recuperate, in the Guaynabo area, 200 people cheered Trump's trip and crowded around him for mobile photos. To the audience that was friendly, Trump tossed rolls of paper towels at a table of supplies at a church.

"There's a good deal of love in this room, a lot of love," Trump said. "Great folks."

Inspired by AP what he has to say to people still without power, water and food, he spoke of the generators and said the grid is being fixed.

"Again the job that's been done here is really nothing short of a miracle," he said.

Before, on approach to the airport, Air Force One descended over a landscape marked by mangled palm trees, metal debris strewn near homes and patches of stripped trees, yet with less devastation evident than further from San Juan.

For much of his tour, Trump stayed focused primarily on drawing praise.

"He didn't play politics at all," he said of the governor, which makes clear that he believes those who have criticized him to be politically driven. Maria was misstated by Trump as a Category 5 hurricane; it was Category 4 when it hit on Puerto Rico.

"I appreciate your service and I know you love ours," Trump said. "Our country has really gone all out. It's not dangerous, it is expensive. But I consider it a great honor."

Before leaving Washington, Trump said Puerto Ricans who have called the federal response inadequate "need to give us more aid."

Large-scale protests against Trump failed to materialize by early afternoon, with only a few knots of people gathering around San Juan.

As he led out from the White House to visit the island, Trump told reporters that "it is now acknowledged what a terrific job we have done."

The excursion is Trump's fourth to areas battered by storms during an unusually violent hurricane season which has also seen parts of Texas, Florida, Louisiana and the U.S. Virgin Islands inundated by floodwaters and struck by high winds.

Trump's trip follows a weekend where he had pushed back against critics, such as Cruz. He had reacted angrily on Twitter, deriding the "poor leadership ability by the Mayor of San Juan, and others in Puerto Rico, who aren't able to get their employees to assist."

"They want everything to be done for them as it ought to be a community effort," he added, scoffing at "politically motivated ingrates" who had criticized the federal work, and insisting that "tremendous progress" was being made.

Cruz had begged the administration to "make sure someone is in charge that is up to the task of saving lives" and said federal inefficiency was killing people.

Trump and his wife also visited Navy and Marine Corps personnel on the flight deck of the USS Kearsarge.

Before the storm struck on Sept. 20, Puerto Rico was in dire condition as a result of a decade-long economic recession that had left its infrastructure, including the island's power lines, in a sorry state. Maria was the most powerful storm to hit the island in a century and unleashed floods and mudslides that knocked out telecommunications, together with roads and the island's entire electrical grid.

The Federal Emergency Management Agency said more than 10,000 federal officials are on the floor on the island, and 45 percent of customers have access. Businesses are starting with 60 percent of retail gas stations now up and running.

Woodward reported from Washington. Associated Press writers Danica Coto and Michael Weissenstein in Ricardo Alonso-Zaldivar in Washington and Catherine Lucey and San Juan contributed to this report.

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Copyright 2017 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

[frontstreet1]

Trump Contrasts Puerto Rico With Katrina

President Donald Trump talks with Governor Ricardo Rosselló, center, carrying his daughter in his arms after his arrival at the Luis Muñiz Air National Guard Base in San Juan, Puerto Rico, Tuesday, Oct. 3, 2017. Trump is visiting Puerto Rico in the wake of Hurricane Maria.(AP Photo/Evan Vucci)

WASHINGTON — The Latest on President Donald Trump and Puerto Rico (all times local):

1:50 p.m.

President Donald Trump says Puerto Rico suffered a relatively low death toll from Hurricane Maria compared with “a real catastrophe like Katrina,” which killed more than a thousand people in 2005.

Trump spoke as he toured the island Tuesday. He pledged an all-out effort to help Puerto Rico.

The president said that while “every death is a horror,” he drew a distinction between “a real catastrophe like Katrina” and “what happened here” in Puerto Rico, where at least 16 people died.

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3: 15 p.m.

President Donald Trump is tossing rolls of paper towels out to a crowd of Puerto Ricans as he hands out supplies to the storm-damaged island’s residents.

On his first visit to survey damage from Hurricane Maria, the president lobbed at least five rolls into a crowd gathered at Calvary Chapel. Many caught them with a smile and took cell phone photos.

Trump praised the roughly 200 people gathered there, saying there was a lot of “love” in the room.

The president also handed out flashlights and said of the recovery that “the job that’s been done here is really nothing short of a miracle.”

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1:50 p.m.

President Donald Trump says Puerto Rico’s electrical power, virtually knocked out by Hurricane Maria, is headed toward flickering on again.

“It’s being fixed” he told reporters Tuesday during his first visit to the island. He added that the power grid was “devastated before the hurricanes even hit.”

He said lots of generators have been brought to the island and most hospitals are at least partially open.

Trump said “The job that’s been done here is really nothing short of a miracle.”

He has come under fire for what critics said was a slow response to the devastation. Maria wiped out power to Puerto Rico’s 3.4 million people and left them short of food, water and supplies.

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1:50 p.m.

President Donald Trump has handed out supplies at a church in Puerto Rico.

About 200 local residents are at Calvary Chapel, cheering Trump as he walks in. Tables nearby were lined with supplies that included paper towels, bags of rice. Candybars, water bottles.

The president shook hands and handed people flashlights. A few times, he tossed paper towel rolls into the crowd.

Surrounded by a sea of cellphone cameras, Trump said, “There’s a lot of love in this room.” He called those in attendance, “Great people.”

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1:10 p.m.

President Donald Trump is touring the storm damage of San Juan and hearing the stories of residents still recovering from Hurricane Maria.

The president is visiting neighborhoods and has told one resident that the governor and the mayor are “doing a good job.”

Recently, San Juan Mayor Carmen Yulin Cruz criticized the pace of the federal government’s response and drew Trump’s scorn.

The president’s visit included meetings with her and other local officials. As he left the airport, the president’s motorcade snaked through streets lined with downed tree limbs, mangled signs and drooping power lines. A beach was covered in debris.

Scattered groups of people gathered to watch the motorcade pass. One held a sign reading, “Climate change is real.” Another’s said: “You are a bad hombre.”

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12:20 p.m.

President Donald Trump is pledging to help Puerto Rico continue to recover from Hurricane Maria’s devastation. He is defending his administration’s handling of the disaster that knocked out power to the U.S. island’s 3.4 million people.

In an airport hangar in Puerto Rico, Trump also sought praise from local officials. He repeated that they have to help with the recovery and scolded them for the costs of disaster recovery. Trump said, “I hate to tell you, Puerto Rico but you’ve thrown our budget a little out of whack because we’ve spent a lot of money on Puerto Rico.”

Trump’s visit comes after what critics have said was a slow response.

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11:50 a.m.

President Donald Trump and his wife, Melania, have arrived in storm-damaged Puerto Rico.

The first couple is visiting Tuesday to review the U.S. island’s recovery from Hurricane Maria, which blew ashore Sept. 20. They are meeting with local and federal officials working to restore power and deliver food and supplies to Puerto Rico’s 3.4 million people.

Trump’s visit comes after what critics have said was a too-slow response to the crisis on the island. The president said Tuesday that local “have to give us more help” in responding to the devastation. Trump on Tuesday praised the federal response, saying, “it’s now acknowledged what a great job we’ve done.”

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8:50 a.m.

President Donald Trump says the federal government has done a good job in Puerto Rico responding to the devastation caused by Hurricane Maria, but says local officials need to “give us more help.”

Trump says Tuesday that “in Texas and in Florida we get an A-plus, and I’ll tell you what, I think we’ve done just as good in Puerto Rico.”

Trump says roads are cleared and communications are “starting to come back.” He says on a “local level they have to give us more help.”

The president lashed out at the mayor of San Juan after she criticized the federal response. He now says that San Juan mayor Carmen Yulin Cruz “has come back a long way.”

The White House says Cruz had been invited to participate in Tuesday’s events, but it was unclear whether she and the president would meet.

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4 a.m.

President Donald Trump is meeting Tuesday with some of the 3.4 million Puerto Ricans struggling to recover from Hurricane Maria, as criticism of the federal government’s sluggish response continues.

The president is expected to spend more than five hours on the ground, meeting with first responders, local officials and some of the residents struggling to recover from a hurricane that, in the president’s words, left the island U.S. territory “flattened.”

Trump and first lady Melania Trump are scheduled to attend briefings, visit a church, and meet with Gov. Ricardo Rosselló, as well as the governor of the U.S. Virgin Islands. They’ll also meet with Navy and Marine Corps personnel on the flight deck of the USS Kearsarge.

Oct 3 3:25 PM EDT