#also i hate groupme

[coldmilkchoices]

is it some sort of unspoken law of the universe that the most active ppl in the groupme are the ones who care the least

[the-starlight-papers]

I’m so tired of my physics lab group because it’s me and then a bunch of guys who went to the same Christian high school in the same town as my university and they just talk about guns all the time.

Today one guy was telling a story about his cousin who’s in Communications so the professors are more liberal so she has to deal with them “talking about pronouns and crap.” Same guy has a sticker on his phone that says “I support FREE SPEECH not ~POLITICAL CORRECTNESS~”

Of course they were all talking about the Citadel shooting in Nashville too and how the shooter was trans.

@the-starlight-papers

[wttcsms]

WTTCSMS EGOIST BIBLE !!

while i'm gone on hiatus, i thought now would be a good time for you all to get to know me! i thought the egoist bible questions were so silly but so good at getting some insight into how a person is, so here are my answers <3 i did change up some questions pertaining to soccer, but for the most part, these are all the questions asked from the egoist bible 🤭

BIRTHDAY ► april 21

AGE ► 21

ZODIAC SIGN ► taurus

BIRTHPLACE ► houston, tx

HOUSEHOLD ► dad, mom, older sister, me, younger brother

HEIGHT ► 5'2

SHOE SIZE ► us women's 6.5, eu 37

BLOOD TYPE ► o negative (i actually really enjoy donating blood)

DOMINANT HAND ► right

AGE YOU STARTED WRITING FANFICTION ► 11

MOTTO ► it's cheesy, but i really like nike's "just do it"

WHAT YOU THINK IS YOUR STRENGTH ► my personality must be pretty agreeable because no matter the setting (different workplaces, school, concerts, waiting in a long line, etc.) people always seem happy to talk to me. i'm happy about that because i love listening to people yap and encourage it.

WHAT YOU THINK IS YOUR WEAKNESS ► i get scammed easily. i don't like saying no when i see people asking for money, even if i know they're feeding me a lie. usually, there's a thought in the back of my mind that goes "what if they're not lying and they really do need the money??" it'll all come back to me, anyway.

FAVORITE FOOD ► a ny strip, cooked rare.

LEAST FAVORITE FOOD ► salmon. i hate it; i dislike most fish, but i gag every time i eat salmon. it doesn't matter how high quality it is, how it's prepared, what dish it is — i can't stand the taste. which is a total bummer because salmon has hella omega-3s, and i #needthat (i buy fish oil vitamins because of this)

BEST SIDE DISH WITH RICE ► not a traditional side dish, but i really like bacon and rice. my uncle opened my eyes to this

HOBBY ► playing nitrotype (my average wpm is 127, with a personal best of 144 wpm)

FAVORITE SEASON ► winter, i love cold weather because i live down south & it's christmas season!!!

FAVORITE SONG ► changes all the time, but my current fixation is "packing it up" by gracie abrams.

FAVORITE MOVIE ► 1917; i watched it once a day for two weeks straight.

FAVORITE MANGA ► blue lock, with haikyuu a close second

CHARACTER COLOR ► baby blue

FAVORITE ANIMAL ► labrador retrievers <3 growing up, we had one

FAVORITE BRAND ► new balance, i swear by their shoes

BEST SUBJECT ► english + history; i was on a full ride scholarship during undergrad and wanted to take advantage, so i maxed out my schedule's credit limit by taking a "history of english language" class. it combined my favorite subjects together & apparently it was a required course for all english majors at my uni. funnily enough, i was the only business major in the course but after silently stalking the groupme & looking at the canvas lowest v highest score scale, it turns out i was doing better than all of them. business majors 1, eng majors 0 😋

WORST SUBJECT ► math. i like it and always made A's. sometimes i regret not majoring in math, but it's one of those subjects that didn't automatically click for me.

MAGAZINES YOU READ OFTEN ► national geographic. i can't help but buy the newest issue whenever i'm in the checkout line of barnes and noble. wall street journal

SOMETHING THAT MAKES YOU HAPPY ► when strangers compliment me

SOMETHING THAT MAKES YOU SAD ► seeing people mock neurodivergent people for their mannerisms.

FETISH ► hands. specifically, guys with big hands. you know when athletes grip the ball with one hand? wooooooow. or when a guy is reversing and has one hand on the steering wheel

YOUR TYPE ► someone driven & disciplined who also makes me laugh (whether it's unintentionally or because he really is just that funny)

FIRST TIME YOU RECEIVED A CONFESSION ► when i was 14. he admitted to liking me since middle school, and suddenly i was aware that i am capable of being perceived which is scary

HOURS OF SLEEP ► 4-5 hours (i stay up late but wake up very early)

WHERE DO YOU WASH FIRST IN THE SHOWER ► my face. i heard you're not supposed to wash your face in the shower, but idc. it's easier that way.

WHAT YOU UNINTENTIONALLY ALWAYS END UP BUYING AT THE CONVENIENCE STORE ► it used to be an energy drink, but now it's those bottled smoothies.

MOST USED APP ► tiktok. im working on that NOT being my top app.

MUSHROOMS OR BAMBOO SHOOTS ► mushrooms

LAST TIME YOU CRIED ► last night, i was watching sad tiktoks

HOW OLD WHEN YOU STOPPED RECEIVING PRESENTS FROM SANTA ► maybe 8? my parents never did the "from santa" schtick, but i stopped believing in him at around 8 years old

WHAT DID YOU ASK FOR AS A CHRISTMAS PRESENT FROM SANTA ► probably dolls. i liked playing with barbies and polly pockets and bratz

WHAT WILL YOU DO ON THE LAST DAY ON EARTH ► spend it with my family

WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU RECEIVED $650,000 ► 10% to my church, 50% in savings, 25% to my brokerage accounts + roth ira, 15% to spending!!!!

HOW DO YOU SPEND YOUR DAY OFF ► play nitrotype, color, clean

WHAT WOULD YOU BE DOING IF YOU HADN'T STARTED WRITING FANFICTION ► probably (definitely) study more, but i feel like i wouldn't be as happy. writing fanfiction makes me more connected to a fandom, and it adds to my overall enjoyment of media. i met really cool people online because of my fanfiction

WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE HISTORICAL FIGURE ► Jesus

IF YOU COULD TAKE ONLY ONE THNG TO A DESERTED ISLAND, WHAT WOULD YOU BRING ► my dad, he'd know what to do. if i can't bring a person, an expensive emergency survival kit (loophole logic; an emergency survival kit is usually sold as one unit).

IF THERE WAS A TIME MACHINE, WOULD YOU WANT TO GO TO THE PAST OR THE FUTURE ► the future. somehow, i don't think i'd get treated right if i went to the past, and besides, i can read a textbook. i can't see into the future.

[jay-catsby]

obsessed with groupmates who insist i download groupme so that we can participate in a chat and then ignore my messages in that chat when im asking for confirmation on an important decision

thog DO care. thog pissed off

[darksouls2yuri]

also i hate groupmes like do not send me a groupme invite i will not be clicking it

[rosebetumbln]

social media

ive deleted/have stopped participating in all of my usual social media apps. ive deleted tiktok, instagram, snapchat. ive also deleted groupme, the app that actually caused me the most anxiety.

I hate that fucking app. I hate participating in groups that I feel don't value me as an individual. I hate feeling low when no one likes a joke I sent, or a meme I created, which I never do. I hate feeling fomo when you miss a conversation. I hate feeling out of place and inferior just because I'm not as present on that app.

I don't care if people need to reach me. my phone numbers has never failed me, why not make the effort to reach out to me there? I was just going to have it deleted for the winter break, but I think it's gone for good.

I'm done with pleasing others and keeping things in my life to make their lives easier.

I know this started off with social media, but I feel like I've been participating in these apps to make others happy. shouldn't my content make me happy?

[curlyhairedintrovertsworld]

not me getting kicked out of a groupme for not replying :)

[twigstarpikachutroll22]

my result:

An Ex-Friend Tries to Get with My Ex-Boyfriend to Spite Me Picture this: you're in a fight with a friend you were really close to, and to get back at you she tries to hook up with your ex the day after the fight started. Little does she know, it backfires, and your ex tells you over lunch while you're both dishing the tea after spring break. Welcome to my life. You know which connections to value, i.e. having your ex as one of your closest friends, but also let some really bad people slip through the walls you have built around your trust. Social cues may be a bit hard for you to read, and you might be a little, or very, mentally ill. Gossiping is your guilty pleasure, and that can be satisfied through talking to others about drama, or even just social media stalking to stay up-to-date on others' lives. You hate text because of the way tone is misconstrued, but you also hate in-person confrontation. Through it all, though, you put yourself first and aren't afraid to acknowledge your own faults. I also have a feeling you're a big partier, and maybe enjoy casual flings. Anyways, take a shot and live your life. YOLO

Actually, I communicate better over text (not phone message app text, I mean like discord messaging). I have time to actually fully think through exactly what I want to say and I don’t have to look at anycreature’s face and get self-conscious. And I don’t do casual flings, I’d rather stab myself than be in any kind of non-platonic relationship at all. The rest checks out though.

my imaginary friend’s result:

Getting Doxxed in a 1300 Person GroupMe Isn't life so fun when revealing photos of yourself get sent to your entire class at school? Isn't it even MORE fun when those photos came from someone who you had a falling out with? But, you see the use in being petty and having revenge. If you're like me, you may have even emailed the kid who did this to you's father, the head of an academic department at this college, to get his child in check. You enjoy slightly manipulative music like "Better Than Revenge" by Taylor Swift, cathartic car rides, and venting on TikTok. But, you also like being holed up in your room to have a wine night and watch a movie, potentially crying alone because emotions are scary to show to people. Maybe you're a Leo or Virgo too, pretending to not like the attention while also eating it up. Either way, you're bad[***] and so strong and don't take any [****]. I <3 you.

She DOES see the use in pettiness and revenge. And she DOES enjoy some music like that. Not venting on tiktok though. And she doesn’t cry alone much. Gemini, not leo or virgo, and she eats up attention without EVER in the LEAST pretending not to like it. Above all else the last part is correct though.

which traumatic college moment are you: me and my best friend edition

https://uquiz.com/quiz/4Wnch5/which-one-of-my-friend-and-is-traumatic-college-moments-are-you

[724fc]

y'all so i'm in African-American psychology and we have a paper due tonight, right? the paper is on this book we're reading is about a fictional African tribe that participates in the slave and how some white soldiers decided to take wives from this village. There's also a P.O.V. from a slave who is the half-sister of a village girl who married a soldier. there's mad graphic scenes and i really do HATE historical fiction like it's trauma p**n. ANYWAYS people are in the groupme for my class asking about the paper, what to write about blase blase. so somebody asked in the groupme how were people liking the book and a couple people were like oh, it's interesting, bc you know, it's a historical fiction, very sensitive. this wh*te girl goes, "i really like it it's really good" and the whole groupme STOPS.

[goth-oatmilk-latte]

i really hate people who have an incredible amount of audacity.

our exam study guide has been up for a week and a half, and i was kind enough to make it into a google doc and share with my class via our groupme. i mentioned to everyone that they could edit it so the entire guide was a collab between us and not all on me to do it, and that i would be taking a little break from it to work on other things...and this absolute fucking jackass today, THE DAY OF OUR EXAM, comes in the groupme and says he doesn't know what to study and that the googledoc wasn't helpful bc it wasn't 100% completed. okay dawg if u cared that much u would have studied, also u would actually come to class, and not a single mf one of these people did their part on the collab so guess what, now it's locked and y'all can fail, get fucked. don't expect it next time either, im not making something for everyone to help with so we can all help each other, only to be shit on for it. have fun failing kids.

[worstloki]

(1) i'm demiro-ace & i do have fictional/celebrity crushes i am never attracted to all of an actors roles just the ones i like and some times the actor as well if i see enough from them bts or interviews. i told my friend i got into great gatsby b/c tom hiddleston portrays f scott fitzgerald in midnight in paris & i wanted to read some fitzgerald to truly appreciate the film before i watch it & i really like tom's acting. & my friend was basically like "uh huh. you totally did it b/c tom is eye

(2) candy." & this guy doesnt know i'm ace but i've been considering telling him lately b/c i'm good friends w/ him & he's pretty chill abt lgbt stuff. but a bunch of other people were in the chat then & i dont have his number (we were on groupme) so rip me. but i do actually have a crush on tom but it honestly felt so uncomfortable for someone to assume that the reason i like tom's films is because he's sexy/hot/eye candy/etc. call me out on my romantic feelings all you want but it felt so

(3) uncomfortable for someone to assume i only care about tom b/c hes hot. hes very aesthetically pleasing dont get me wrong but man i hate that ppl assume the only thing i see from him is his looks when tom is an amazing actor w/ an amazing career and is such a good and kind person. ive felt uncomfortable in the past when it is implied that i think someone is sexy but this time hit different for some reason. partly its b/c im really tired of ppl assuming girls are only interested in fiction b/c

(4) of hot male actors b/c most girls ive known have cared deeply abt fandom more so than any sexual attraction they may feel to any characters. but also allonormativity is annoying as heck. & i dont like the implication that i read an american classic just for a pretty face. and tom is an amazing actor and so much more eye candy. & just aaaa i hate it but i might come out to this friend tomorrow so wish me luck

It’s assuming that attraction is the sole possible factor in enjoying someone’s work, and then only applying the logic when there’s a large female demographic, and it is, unfortunately, not very nice to be accused of feelings generally, it’s a whole thing that happens. 😔

On the bright side you’re allowed to appreciate people for their looks and still enjoy their work and anyone assuming otherwise shouldn’t be assuming because it’s not their place! A lot of actors are literally there to be eye-candy if that makes you feel any better. They literally present themselves as characters to be viewed on a screen, so there’s that!

It’s always important to remember that even if a majority of people feel one way about something that does not necessitate everyone does, I know loads of people who are both attracted to the character and/or actor and have great meta, as well as people just here for the s*xy, as well as those who couldn’t care less, so you’re not alone in feeling however you do about the actor I’m sure, and if he happened to be playing a character in an adaptation of a book you were interested in then lucky you ;D

I hope the friend apologizes much. Good luck, anon!

[imaginedxlan]

Alpha Pt. 3 (Grayson Dolan)

a/n: I think its actually been two years since I wrote the first two parts of alpha but idc I’m actually in college now i feel like I have actual insight on how Mr. Alpha of ATO would act around y/n. 

After their date, or forced casual hangout according to y/n, Grayson doesn’t necessarily keep his end of the deal. 

y/r/n = your roommate’s name

warning(s): sexual allusions, cussing, drinking

(part one/part two)

_______________________________

When you return home from your, well you’re not actually sure what to call it, with Grayson, your roommate immediately sits up to see your face, looking for any indication of how your night went. She throws her chem textbook to the side and give you a look as to say well?

You close the door behind you before putting your face in your hands and taking a seat at your desk. You keep shaking your head, there is not a chance in hell you have feelings for this boy. The boy who preyed on a freshman at her very first college party. The boy who stalked you around all of your classes, got your phone number and somehow found out all about your life in the span of a week. You keep reminding yourself of the weird and uncomfortable things he’s done to distract you from the way he planned out an entire evening for the two of you, or that he actually helped you find your sister and her friends or how good he looked when the setting sun hit his tan skin in his topless Jeep only hours ago. Jesus, y/n, snap out of it. 

“Come on, spill!” Your roommate begs, she had to deal with your ranting about not wanting to go all afternoon, she deserves to at least know how it went. “What did you do? What was he like? How’d he dress? Oh my god did you hook up?”

“Ew, y/r/n, no!” You gasp at her last question. How could she expect you to hookup with someone you hate? “It was fine. We ate dinner in some park then he took me to that neon sign museum. Nothing fancy, he had a shirt on which was a first. He acted nice but I don’t buy it for a second.”

“Neither,” She replies, knowing the boy only from how you’ve described him. “He’s probably just trying to get in your pants so he can bug your sister about it.”

She’s right. You can’t fall into his trap, he has ulterior motive. They always do. You just have to go on and find some boy on your floor to kiss and get him out of your head for good. Every part of you wishes your sister hadn’t broken up with her boyfriend, he would’ve given Grayson a piece of his mind if he knew that he was bothering you. Unfortunately for you and her ex, y/s/n does not like to be tied down and she needed to “have her fun” for her last first semester. You and y/r/n talk for a little while longer, about classes and whatnot, but mostly end up talking about Grayson again. 

“We should go to bed.” You finally say, yawning and looking down at your phone screen that read 12:47 am. Your roommate huffs, obviously wanting to hear more about your night with the infamous Alpha Dog of ATO. “Recruitment starts tomorrow, we have to meet our groups at eight in the morning, remember?”

“I know, I know,” She replies, slipping out of her bed so she can gather her things to get ready for bed. You grab you toiletries bag as well and head toward the bathroom with her. “We’re talking about this tomorrow, don’t think I’ve let up.”

Recruitment happens over the span of four days, this weekend and next. It’s a dry rush period so no potential new members can be seen on frat property, giving you a good enough reason to avoid Grayson. Going into recruitment you’re already around ninety-two percent sure you’ll end up in Delta Gamma, just like your sister and your mom. The next few days of recruitment go well, you meet new friends from your rush group who help through the stressful process. Throughout the week you get sporadic texts from none other than Grayson Dolan wishing you luck with those days rounds, giving you unsolicited pointers of where to pref, and telling you that he saw you walking on greek row. You don’t respond to any, hoping he gives up on trying to woo you. So much for leaving you alone after one date. You pref Delta Gamma and Kappa Alpha Theta, but end up ranking DG first, not wanting to end your legacy but also because you felt you fit in most there. It was no surprise when you got a bid. Your sister is over the moon, shrieking over how her biological sister is now her deegster. You still have to get used to the lingo.

You come to find during bid day, which is Space Cowboy themed of course, that your new pledge class will be going out for bid-night with your bid day bigs. You don’t understand half of the things they’re saying to you, the language of sorority girls still lost on you. You’re added to a GroupMe with the new pledges of Alpha Tau Omega, just when you thought you could escape that fraternity as a whole, your bid night is with them. You almost immediately get a text from Grayson.

following in sissy’s steps? see you tonight miss delta gamma, anchor down ;)

What is it with him and these nicknames? You show your sister and she fake gags, saying she can’t believe he’s still texting you after all this time. She still has no idea about last weekend, you intend to keep it that way. When you get back to your dorm, you and your roommate talk all about bid day, she ended up going Kappa. Her bid night was with Phi Gamma Delta, or Fiji. If only you could have been so lucky. She can’t help but snort at the fact that you’re going to ATO tonight, she says it’s the universal pulling you and Dolan together. 

Your sister won’t being coming out with you tonight, having a lab tomorrow morning that she simply cannot miss. You’re partly grateful for it, now Grayson can’t let it slip to her that you two went out together. You end up getting ready in the room of a girl of your floor who you met today at bid day, wanting to base your outfit on someone else’s to blend in as much as possible. With the massive group of girls coming into his house, surely he won’t be able to find you. You meet up with your bid day big along with the girl on your floor’s and you all walk toward the ATO house together. You’re nervous, extremely nervous, but you don’t show it. As you near the house, you’re met with the mix of conflicting basses coming from any frat basement on the block. There are a few girls waiting outside the familiar house, and thats when you see it.

Grayson Dolan at the door, personally greeting every single one of your new sisters, his eyes scanning over every single one of the freshman walking into the door, earning him plenty of groans from the older girls. You don’t mean to say anything out loud, but you let an oh god slip. Your bid day big turns to you with a confused look.

“My sisters warned me about him,” You tell her, which is half of the truth. “Real scumbag I’ve heard.”

She just laughs, not even needing to agree with you for you to know she feels the same way about him. The closer you get to the front door, the more your stomach aches. If only you could be in your dorm watching Barbie Mermaidia with your roommate like last night. You try your best to hide within the group you came with, but it’s no use, he has his single file, one over strategy down to a science. 

“Hello you.” He greets you with a shit-eating grin. You hope the girls with you don’t catch him singling you out. “I’ll see you inside.”

“Fuck off Dolan,” Your bid day big calls over to him. “She’s not one of your play things.”

She pulls you inside before Grayson can say anything else. Luckily he doesn’t follow the two of you either. She gets you a drink and you socialize with the girls and some of the guys. You’re more focused on making girl friends tonight, as much as you’ve loathed your time at ATO, finding a group of girls to wander around greek row on a Saturday night is and essential part to your freshman year plan. You don’t even realize how drunk you’re getting, you follow your sister’s order to never take a cup from a brother, only ever allowing something you or one of your sisters have mixed to travel down your throat. You recall the words of your sisters earlier in the night, ‘bid night means black out ladies.’ You certainly don’t want to black out, but getting a little tipsy won’t hurt anyone. Toward the middle of the night you’re all dancing, body to body in their packed and sweaty basement. You have to admit, you’re actually kind of having fun. When you feel a pair of hands dig into your hips you don’t even flinch, simply moving your hips along to whatever shitty remix is coming from the massive speakers. You swing yourself around to face the boy and wrap your arms around his neck while his stay on your hips. You don’t recognize him, but from what you can see under the dim colored lights he’s cute. Mostly everyone in ATO is. He gives you a grin, letting one of his hands travel closer toward your ass, you don’t mind it, at least it’s not Grayson.

Grayson. Where is that boy? He said he’d meet you inside and it’s been at least an hour and a half. You don’t know why your mind is suddenly wandering off to Grayson. How he must look right now, definitely shirtless with some stupid phrase painted across his chest. How the sweat from the sheer amount of bodies in the house is probably making his tan skin glisten under the LED lights. How his hands are probably wrapped around a red solo cup so perfectly. You don’t even realize you’re biting your lip until your lips are connected with the boy you’re dancing with. You don’t hesitate to kiss him back, suddenly feeling all hot and bothered after picturing Grayson, wherever he is in this house. Snap out of it. Finding Grayson even remotely attractive would go against everything you stand for, your sister would probably smack your head to make sure there is still a brain in there. 

You keep drinking, everything practically going down like water at this point. Your speech is slurring and the room spins around you. You leave the boy you’re dancing with for another drink, finding the stairs to the main floor and gripping onto the handle for dear life. You stumble towards where some boy is pouring a mystery liquid into a cup and stop in front of it. Your new drink is swiftly taken from you and placed back on the table and you’re pulled from the crowd of people.

“How much have you had to drink.” It’s Grayson. He looks so good, you think. He’s shouting over the music for you to answer him. “I’m serious y/n, I need a number.”

You try and do the mental math but the only clear thought in your brain at the moment is how good he looks with his shirt off. You start to count on your fingers but lose track at five so you just shrug. He rolls his eyes, knowing that if anything were to happen to you your sister would beat his ass like it was somehow his fault.

“Why do you care, dad.” You mock him as he tries to think about what he should do with you. “I have to drink this much, I’m in a sos-sorotity you know?”

He can’t help but laugh at the way you’re butchering the words coming out of your mouth, the slurring evident on your tongue. “Okay, miss sorotity, follow me.” He grasps your hand, interlocking your fingers and begins to pull you up another flight of stairs that you’ve never been up. This house is massive. He pulls you into a room and locks the door behind him. Even with the room spinning you can make out a few features. A bed with a white comforter that lies low to the ground, a big frame holding what looks like a yearbook page of girls, and a lava lamp. 

“Is this your room?” You ask, leaning up against the wall for some stability. He just nods, fiddling with something in his drawers. “I’m not having, s-sex with you Grayson. You can’t make me.”

“I don’t want to have sex with you, sweetheart.” He mumbles back, pulling an article of clothing out of the open drawer. Once you process what he says all you can think is ouch. He’s fucked practically every girl on at this school, are you so repulsive you’re excluded from the campus wide Grayson Dolan body count? “Oh don’t be sad, I meant I’m not having sex with you tonight, y/n. Contrary to your hilarious nickname you came up with for me the first night we met, I don’t fuck drunk girls.”

You realize you may have said ouch out loud, have you been doing that all night? He’s only telling you this because he’s almost one hundred percent certain you’ll remember none of this in the morning. Between the jungle juice and natty seltzers, the only thoughts in your brain tomorrow will be getting to a toilet bowl immediately. He pulls out a shirt and a pair of boxers and tosses them your way. You don’t catch them, just start stripping your shirt off.

“Jesus, y/n, if I didn’t know any better I’d say you were giving me a little strip tease.” He jokes with you, turning his head away from you, letting you keep at least part of your dignity. “Tell me when you’re done.”

“I can’t put them on, Grayson.” You whine, your drunken brain unable to comprehend how to put on a t shirt. You pick it up off the ground and hold it out for him to grab. “Help me.”

He huffs out and takes the shirt from your hands, he should at least be getting paid for babysitting you like he is. He pulls his shirt over your head and forces your arms through their respective holes. As he’s about to walk away from you again, you put and point at your shoes and jeans. He rolls his eyes and pulls both your shoes and socks of both feet before carefully undoing your zipper and shimmying the fabric off your sweaty legs, then pulling the pair of boxers over your hips. He’s usually taking underwear off girls, not putting a second pair on. His breathe hitches at the oddly intimate moment he’s sharing with you, you won’t remember any of it but he doesn’t usually do this. You suddenly feel very tired, almost collapsing on top of Grayson before he steadies your hips. He pulls back his comforter for you to slide under. You sink into his mattress and smile at your need for a bed being fulfilled. The lights shut off and you hear him unlock and open the door.

“Wait!” You call after him, making him stop in his tracks. “Can you stay?”

“You’re one needy chick when you’re drunk, huh?” He asks, walking back into the room and locking the door behind him again. “You’re lucky you’re pretty, you know that?”

You just give him a cheesy smile, not sure if he can even see you in the dark room, but you don’t care. You hear his shoes hit the ground and the bed dips next to you. You can still hear the music coming from the basement, it’s muffled but you can still make out every word. You roll over to face Grayson and he’s already looking at you.

“What’re you looking at?”

“You.”

A goofy grin graces your lips when he says it. If you were sober you’d probably protest, whack his arm or something, but now you don’t care. You let your index finger drag along his bicep, up over his shoulder and neck, around his face and then boop his nose. You can feel his face shift when he smiles. 

“You have a pretty smile,” The words leave your lips before you can even think if it’s an okay thing to say. He lets out a short laugh, finding your drunk self’s inability to filter your thoughts amusing. “You’re handsome, Grayson.”

“You’re drunk, y/n.” He teases you. “You need to stop talking before you say something you regret.”

You whine, faking a pout on your lips. “I think it when I’m not drunk too.”

He can’t contain his smile, pushing a piece of hair that has fallen into your face. “We’ll talk in the morning. Goodnight, y/n.”

You wake up with a pounding headache and no recollection of last night past kissing some boy in the basement of ATO. You rub your eyes, shielding them from the light coming in the large window. Large window? This isn’t your dorm, you’re not in your bed and that is certainly not your roommate passed out next to you.

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck.” You whisper repeatedly as you try your best to slip out of the bed you’re currently in. Your shirt and jeans and shoes are strewn across the floor and your in someone else’s shirt and pants. Underwear is still on, two pairs now which is comforting. In your attempt to sneak out of whoever’s room this is you ram your knee into the dresser beside the door. “Goddamnit!”

Before you can continue gathering your things, the figure that you were just sleeping next to takes in a deep breath and let’s out a loud groan, stretching out his arms. “Y/n?”

You know that voice from anywhere, you’re so fucked. “Grayson?”

He sits up and runs his hands through his hair. The contrast of his tan skins against the white comforter is breathtaking. His hair is going in all different directions but he still looks good, how does he always looks good? His silver chain hangs loose around his neck and falls just belong his collar bone. You genuinely believe, at least physically, he is without flaws.

“Surprised?”

“Obviously I am!” You shout back, hurting your own head in the process. “Oh god, oh fuck, did we?”

“God, no, y/n.” He stops your spiralling. You let out a breath of relief that you didn’t even know you were holding. “You think I would have sex with you if I had any doubt that you would remember it in the morning? No, you were hammered and about to keep drinking and I saw where the situation was going so I room you out of it. End of story.”

“So I changed myself?”

“You were meant to, but you started whining like a three year old that you didn’t know how to put a shirt one.” He replies. You’re not really sure how to feel about it, but it’s better than the alternative. “I put your clothes on and put you to bed.”

You let out a sigh, plopping yourself back onto the bed now that you know who it belongs to. You wish you could remember last night, knowing you probably did and said some things in your drunken state that you’re sure you’ll regret if you ever hear of them. Grayson just looks at you, wondering what’s going on in your mind and thinking about what you said to him last night. How you complimented his smile and called him handsome. He couldn’t get it out of his mind. When you turn your body to face him, he scans your features. Hair a mess from both the dingy basement and the hours of sleep you just got, your mascara has collected under your eyes but you still look pretty.

“Stop looking at me like that.” You pull him from his thoughts of you, he didn’t even realize he was staring. He shakes his head and puts on his signature smirk to prevent you from thinking anything other than that he’s an asshole who’s mind is on girls 24/7. He has a reputation to keep and all.

“Like what?”

“Like you’re about to kiss me or something.”

“You’d like that wouldn’t you.”

“Oh fuck off, Dolan.” You scoff at him before he makes the decision to bring himself just inches from your face. So close that you can feel the warmth from his body. Your first instinct is to touch him somewhere, anywhere, but you don’t act on it. “What are you doing?”

“Just getting a better look,” He replies making your eyes roll. Anytime you think you’re letting yourself fall for him he says something gross. “Do you want me to be doing something?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You know exactly what I’m talking about, y/n.”

It’s silent. There’s nothing to say. Your chest is moving up and down at a rapid pace, you’re not sure why you can’t seem to catch your breath but you can’t. His eyes flicker between your and and your lips. Before you can stop yourself you reach your hand to sit on his cheek and inch your body closer to his. The closer you get the more you can feel his hot breathe on your lips and without a second thought you bring your lips to meet his. Your brain is fuzzy and your body feels like it’s on fire but it feels right.

It doesn’t take long for Grayson to kiss you back, he’s actually shocked you gave in given the way you ignored him for weeks. He rolls over so that he can steady himself with him one arm beside you and the other gripping your waist. You can still barely breathe and he notices. He pulls away from you and give you the biggest shit eating grin. “Can believe you gave in.”

“Shut up before I change my mind.”

[orlamccools]

one thing i hate is that all of my work groupchats are on groupme and like. all of my messages from when i was still a student are there but i also cannot bring myself to delete them because fall 2019 was legitimately one of the best times of my life and a part of me still wants those memories

[quaranbabes]

hi everyone! i forget to come on here all the time but niv’s tweet reminded me!

honestly not much to update on milestone-wise. i finished up my semester with a 3.5 gpa (im v proud), then started my metabolism rotation the week after! been slacking a bit on my research project, but i cant say that’s been all my fault-- my committee has been sorta shitty with responding. i counseled my first ever full session this past wednesday which was terrifying but also boosted my confidence, and i am still feeling pretty good about being a gc!!! i still get these pangs of imposter syndrome here and there, but this summer it’s been nice because i am not in classes with my cohort and so i don’t have anyone to compare myself to other than me! i have also definitely realized that i base so much of my self-worth on what other people think of me or how talented/popular/smart i am in comparison to others. i am working on unlearning this, but it’s hard. looking back, i’ve realized how much of the love i received as a child was conditional-- my mom would only treat me well as long as i was able to provide her something to brag about (whether it be good grades, beating swim team records, winning writing competitions, etc.). i felt that i had to be perfect and work hard in order to earn love, and i think that’s why i struggle so much when i don’t perform up to “standard”. being friends with you all and being with amanda has been an amazing help and honestly helped me revolutionize the way i think about how i deserve love. amanda especially has helped me unlearn this-- she really is the definition of unconditional love, and i cannot wait to get married to her someday.

it’s also been hard this past year trying to balance school and a social life. i see groups hanging out without me or no one likes a groupme message, and my first thought is “damn, i must have done something for them to hate me.” I KNOW this is unrealistic, but i get so damn paranoid. i’m sure it ties into the above paragraph somehow, but im not willing to dive into that today haha. i’ve been trying to get better about making plans v. waiting to be invited, and that has definitely helped, but it still hurts when i see people hanging out without me. my friend lauren has also told me she feels the same way with our cohort, and knowing i’m not alone has helped immensely. i just dont know how i can get out of this thought pattern. it’s always a very conscious and dedicated effort to get out of that headspace, and it’s becoming so tiring. i dont know why i care so deeply about what others think of me-- i also dont know why i assume it’s always something bad. i guess i have always felt this way, even since i was a kid, and i just assumed that with age this feeling would just... go away???? i never realized that adults could be just as clique-y and gossip-y as teenagers. i guess that is pretty naive, but hey a girl can dream!

anyway this was a lot more introspective and sad than i was originally intending so i apologize. i am so excited to see you all and go on our seattle trip!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

p.s. lol i bought a lady dimitrescu costume the other day.. as a treat! i will be a 9 ft tall vampire lady with massive tiddies and no one can stop me >:)

[doughyduo]

What do you study in school Wash?

uhh

tbh i have no clue

i wanted to do medicine, but then i realized that med school probably wasn’t for me despite the fact that i really like the idea of going into medicine and have done a lot of shadowing and research on what its like to be a doctor and all that, but idk if i can do med school with how intense students make it sound and with all of the stress theyre under

i also dropped ochem bc i took it online and that was a mistake because i can’t do online classes (and im doing them rn haha i have an exam tomorrow and wednesday and im worried)

i think i want to do engineering bc like

my college is apparently weird and has a list of general classes for engineering and other majors and then specific classes for specific fields of engineering

anyways i only need like one class and then i can specialize into anything i want to and it wouldn’t take that much time to finish up my degree

but rn im doing business classes because everyone that took them in person  said they were easy but im in several groupmes where people are stressing out just like i am so i hate college a lot rn and i want to take a gap semester and work or something to build my resume

anyways the plan is engineering bc im good at math (kind of bad at physics but oh well), probably industrial and systems, materials engineering, or coastal and oceanographic bc i know a firm in my hometown that does that sort of stuff and pays like

6 figures after a year and good benefits

anyways online school sucks and i hate it so much and i want to never do this ever again in my entire life and will be taking a gap semester or year if i have to at this point bc my life is a fucking mess mentally rn bc of all of this lol

[undecidedpersonality]

Writer’s Month 2020 Day Five: Soulmates

Title: “The Other Types of Soulmates”

By: Nalijah Daniels Word Count: 862 Genre: Flash Fiction - Contemporary

Soul mate

/ˈsōl ˌmāt/

Noun

A person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner.

I believe everyone always skips over the “close friend” part of the definition of soulmates. Every movie that uses it only ever talks about two people (almost always a man and woman) being destined to fall in love, get married, and be together forever. Let’s not forget about the part where their meeting is super problematic because one, or both, of them is already in a relationship when their eyes meet and they can’t stay away from each other. We’ve seen it before and honestly, we don’t need to see it anymore because we should start focusing on the other types of soulmates. Like the ones who met each other in diapers due to their fathers’ soulmate-ship, were the best of friends for 15 years until they let a boy get in between them, and don’t speak to each other again until their second year in college when they work the same on-campus restaurant job.

Welcome to the story of me, Maya, and my ex-best friend Sadie.

We have done everything together since I was born. I’m two months and three days younger than her. Our dads are also soulmates and have been friends since late elementary school. They were each other’s best man and the godfather to each other’s kids. There hasn’t been a milestone that they haven’t hit by each other’s side.

We actually tore our dads’ relationship apart when we got into the argument over Kyle Rimmer and who he wanted to date. Sadie couldn’t stop herself from telling me that Kyle doesn’t like black girls. Sadie’s white. Kyle’s mixed.

My dad, Ramon, couldn’t believe that Sadie’s dad, Nicholas, hadn’t taught her well enough to not put someone down due to their skin color. Nicholas had. With a black man as his best friend, he was extra careful to teach his daughter how to be aware of someone’s physical differences without singling them out for it. Sadie just really wanted to hurt me and knew that would work. Sadie and I stopped speaking after that afternoon. Ramon and Nicholas have only spoken to each since on birthdays and holidays, a tinge of longing coated on their voices.

Now Sadie and I are the only two on the closing shift at the late-night diner on campus. I had no choice to attend this school because it gave me the most scholarship money. It hurt because in middle school Sadie and I dreamed about all the fun things we’d do together in college. We dreamed about figuring out the safe frats to party at, going to a different sunny place every spring break, and taking our graduation pictures together. We’re a year-and-a-half in now, and we’ve done nothing because we avoid each other at all costs. We didn’t even know we had the same job until we were added to the staff GroupMe.

Now we’re silently mopping the floor and wiping off counters, which is almost bearable since we left the radio volume up.

“I’m sorry.” At least I believe that’s what I heard over Katy Perry’s belting. I hate the 2010s playlist. I turn my head to glance at Sadie and she’s standing still, staring at the ground, gripping the mop in her left hand. I scrunch my eyebrows together, waiting for something else, but she remains unmoving. After a couple of seconds, I return to wiping off the corner until I hear it again, louder this time.

“Maya, I’m sorry.” Sadie’s head lifts as she tries to meet my eyes that I now keep downcast. She has to yell over the loud music. “I was a bitch sophomore year and I’ve been a bitch to you ever since and I’m sorry that I ruined our friendship. And our dads’ friendship. It hurt me more than you’ll ever realize. Me hurting you,” she pauses, “I miss you.”

Her eyes are brimming with tears when I finally look up. “It’s pathetic that you think an apology five years later will bring me back to you. You ruined my self-esteem,” I reply, attempting to keep my voice even and smooth. I’ve been waiting for this day. “You don’t just get to apologize for choosing to be racist.” I hope that part stings the most. Nicholas made sure that his daughter loved everyone, but she got too caught up in the popular teenage scene to remember any moral life lessons. “You don’t get pity from me when you ruined our relationship over a boy. We could’ve gotten over it. We could’ve ditched Kyle for Pitch Perfect and a tub of chocolate chunk ice cream but you just had to win, didn’t you?”

Her bottom lip stuck out and shook like a child’s as I threw away my paper towels and hung up my waist apron. Her mouth opens and closes, searching for words I don’t care to hear. When my back is to her I can’t help but smile to myself on the way out of the front door. This moment is more sweet than it is bitter. I guess soulmates aren’t forever after all.