#also i fucking stg if i’m sick i’m gonna be so mad

[snail-eggs]

was able to save my hair god bless 🙏

[johnnycakesswitch]

Favorite little moments in the movie

• Dally swinging down from the damn roof when Ponyboy got jumped 💀

• Soda checking on Steve’s nose in the background in the beginning of the movie 😔😔 he’s such a sweetheart

• “I’m gonna make it my business to get the guy who did that to your face >:( ”

• Pony and Johnny giving Two-Bit’s car a push start such little brother energy

• Ponyboy being mad as hell laying in bed w Soda when he’s telling him Darry loves him a lot bro looks like this the entire time 😒😠☹️

• “here come the hobos” that whole little bit it’s so real like visiting your friends/sibling at work and bothering them

• Pony helping Johnny slide under the gate at the drive in

• Johnny telling Two-Bit “get out of my hair >:(” when he comes and scares them and Two brushing a comb through his hair

• Marcia wearing Two-Bit’s jacket 💔💔

• I’m sorry but Bob’s “Cherry 😡 what’s going on 😡 what are you doing!!” Is actually hilarious the way he says it makes me laugh

• “what time is it?” “I don’t know I went to sleep too 🙄 💅 ” they should’ve let Johnny say the fuck bc ik he needed to add that to a lot of the end of his sentences when talking to Pony

• Darry looking at Ponyboy through the window and picking up the paper just so he could slam it down

• Soda unbothered resting on the couch 💅 bro does not give a fuck

• Johnny rubbing Pony’s arm right when they first rub away 😔 bffs

• Pony yelling at Johnny to run when the Socs went after him ☹️ he knew how scared Johnny must’ve been

• “you really did kill him huh Johnny 😥” “yeah 😕🧍‍♂️”

• the whole scene at Buck’s, they’re all so fed up with each other 💀 but the way Dally helped them come up w a plan, zero hesitation, gave Pony dry clothes and his own jacket, as much money as he could get them, it showed a lot about Dally’s loyalty

• “don’t point the thing at me, will ya? It’s loaded, come on ✋🙄”

• Pony has the most youngest sibling energy of anyone talking abt “why do I have to act like a farm boy” Johnny should’ve told him bc I don’t damn want to tf

• Pony imagining that he’s home, I love the glimpse into his everyday life

• Johnny not knowing where to put Pony’s hair that he’s cutting so just dropping it in Pony’s lap 💀

• as scared as he was, Johnny constantly comforting Pony in the church even when he was upset and terrified himself 😕

“Johnny 😟 there’s a monster outside 😰” “what 🙄”

• Johnny blowing his smoke rings

• Dally pulling Pony’s hair to wake him 😭

• one of the first questions Pony asking being “how’s Soda doing is he upset?” ☹️

• “YOURE starving??” Johnny was sick and tired of these people 😭😭😭

• Johnny asking where Dally got the car is so funny “where’d you get this car? HUH??? 🙄” like

• them BEGGING Dally to watch the road ✋😭

• Pony mad as hell when Dally asks if they think Cherry might like him 💀

• also of course Johnny gets to ride shotgun in Dally’s car 😌 Pony gets the back 😒

• Dally attempting to yank Johnny back into the car then his little “you gonna get him? 🙄”

• Curtis brothers reuniting at the hospital 💔💔 then Darry carrying him back inside ☹️ the best boys

• Tim on the couch in the morning 😭 “hey kid 🫤”

• literally the entire following scene, it’s so domestic and shows their everyday lives but I’ll go into more detail:

- Two-Bit and Steve being so genuinely happy to see Pony and him just as always mad as hell about his eggs

- “beer for breakfast there Two-Bit? 🫤”

- “morning Mr. Universe 😄”

- Darry picking up Steve

- Soda telling Pony to shut the door and Pony just ignoring him

- Darry telling Soda to go get dressed and him instead going to sit on the couch assumingly bare ass naked to watch tv 💀

- “why don’t you get a job you ever think of getting a job for a living Two-Bit?” And “Soda, shoes” Steve has the best lines I stg

- Darry telling Ponyboy and Two to do up the dishes like this is rly everyone’s house

• “boy he’s so greasy he glides when he walks”

• Two-Bit cutting up w the Socs while Pony and Randy talk he’s so 😭😭

• the doctor saying Johnny has been asking for them ☹️ poor baby, he must’ve felt so alone and scared

• Dally being a brat and his goofy ass laugh 😭 like tf you mean you threw away your hospital gown 💀 and him saying Tim came to visit him like ok I see you Tally

• Two-Bit checking Pony’s temperature, they all care abt each other sm

• Steve and Soda in the pre rumble scene, Steve throwing cards at Soda, the arm wrestling, talking about why they like to fight, give me more Stevepop I beg

• “Curly always said you were a good kid” ik Pony’s ass was thinking omg he talks about me 😍😍😍

• Dally making sure Johnny knew how proud everyone was of him ☹️💔

• Steve asking Soda if he looks tuff 😔

• Dally calling the house and even though Steve answered him specifically asking for Darry ☹️ he could’ve told anyone what was going on but he wanted Darry then everyone without a second thought going to help him

• Pony’s absolutely heart wrenching “no” right as Dally dies and Darry yelling at the cops

• “is somebody sick?” 😕

• Darry smiling reassuringly at Pony in court 😔 then the hug at the end when everything works out

• Soda’s monologue and Darry promising that they’re not gonna fight anymore 😔 then “let’s go home I’m cold”

Anyway all these little moments are so important to help build up all of the characters! I love all of them and think every moment is so important to the overall story

[blupengu]

Okay, I thought Le Salut emotionally devastated me? Wrong. Weak sauce. I think I inadvertently went in order from happiest to most depressing salvation ending oops…💀

Big fat spoilers for everyone’s salvation ends under the cut!! I’ll add the order I did them in first in case somehow someone finds this and is curious but hasn’t done them all yet

Just wanna say though, thank you Virche Evermore for gifting us with not one, not two, but FIVE(!) long-haired boys, god damn! I would like to shake Yomi’s hand because the art and character designs are so *chef’s kiss,* long-haired anime boys are superior 😂

Also random aside, the first few notes of the salvation theme before the piano comes in gives me such……… indescribable feelings? That underlying dissonance fills me with like such a desperate but forlorn desire to go back to simpler, happier times before the melody becomes more hopeful 😂 (this might be a weird pull, but it gives me Giygas theme prayer for safety vibes from Earthbound 👀)

Adolphe -> Mathis -> Scien -> Yves -> Lucas (yes I saved him for last because I am a Lucas simp I admit it. I saw some comments say it was uhhh not the happiest ending LOL but the heart wants what the heart wants 💀) Boy this is gonna be a LONG post

Adolphe

Love things being solved with guns lmfaooo, guess we’ll go by each scene that the game goes through. Also since I forgot to mention this in my Le Salut rant, I LOVE all of Ankou’s CGs, he is so pretty! The very first one you get stopping Ceres from killing herself? Impeccable. When Adolphe’s pointing a sword at him while his hair’s blowing in the wind? Show-stopping. Him eating the lycoris? Peak *I saw a man so beautiful I started crying* 😩

LUCAS AND NADIA ARE ALIVE! NADIA IS RECOVERING!! LUCAS IS GOING TO THERAPY!!! As mad as I am that ankou died, this is the best timeline oh my gosh the way I (˶‾᷄ ⁻̫ ‾᷅˵) when I heard Nadia, the relief I felt for these two blonde bitches y’all…

LMAO JEAN. Oh my evil hot butler being forced to take care of a baby as his punishment is so *chef’s kiss,* scien has wonderful ideas, I desperately want fan art of this 😂 ah… they did say Rosalie was pregnant though when she was killed, didn’t they… oh now it hurts a little more… I hope he, Mathis, and the kid become a loving family 😔

What the FUCK Yves eating the lycoris bulbs coming in clutch though??? And Hugo still being an A+ Yvesexual I approve 😌

Scien is the BIGGEST mvp though in practically every route my god

This was such like a nice, tight little bow to put at the end of what I guess is the true route? But I love it because all our boys are happy (Ripperoni ankou 🫡)

Mathis

Sweet baby boy, too good for this world… Dahut why tf are you blowing shit up in his route this don’t involve you go away 😂 (still love him though…)

Oh… OH. Mathis was ACTUALLY baby…?? o_o (kinda 😬 how Jean got the cells but uh, let’s ignore that shall we?) Rosalie, Camille, Mathis happy family AU when??? Aaaw Jean did care about Mathis deep down TT_TT (like waaaay deep down), and thank you Scien again as always.

Lmao Ankou’s just casually showing up like, “here take these sweets, it’s made of my blood! Haha no of course I’m joking it’s just normal candy” 👀 Not much else to say about this end, it was cute! I’m glad at least one character got a real happy ending 😌

Scien

Bruh I forgot how disrespectful Scien is to everybody lmaooo, guess we back to sandwich dispenser… I’m glad Dahut’s our friend in this route though!

SALOME WHAT THE FUCK! Oh bruh hell nah, she did not just do that I stg… oh bitch she really killed Dahut huh. YOU JUST KILLED YOUR SON!! GIRL, THIS MAKES ME MAD AF 💀 (this also made me realize they share the same bang style 😭)

Not much else to say about this one either, I’m glad it’s happy (other than Dahut… and they’re never gonna find out about that, huh… ಠ_ಠ), and looks like the kiss CG’s improved! 😂

Yves

Bruh Yves needs therapy so bad, he’s such a good boy though 😂 Ngl his full name is kinda sick, Yves Noirge, guardian of the Lycoris, named after the flowers of misfortune? That goes hard af

Please… please give her the Magic science juice first so you don’t die before you get to her… no? Aight then I guess the power of love stopped you from dropping dead LOL (this kiss CG was also pretty nice! Hooray the artist has improved 😂)

Cannot believe they put in the effort to change Scien’s sprite so he’s missing an arm though lmao, and Ankou just kinda showing up to solve problems is always great

Y’all Yves and Ceres are so mentally I’ll for each other… and two kiss CGs!! They really saved the nice ones for the end huh 😂 Good for Yves! It’s not a super happy ending, but at the very least things are hopeful, and that’s all I can really ask for in this game…

Lucas

I am. Upset. I miss when all we had to worry about was the cage 😂

*internal screaming* Boy oh boy this one absolutely wrecked my shit. When I looked at the flow chart and realized it would split off AFTER Nadia and the killing spree… 😬 like bitch I don’t wanna go through this again 💀 okay okay though, this one’s definitely gonna be long (sorry in advance), I guess I’ll just tackle the scenes chronologically:

Seeing Dahut hiding from Lucas really just made me shout “LOOK WHAT YOU DID!!” at my TV now knowing what we know lmao, but also… why was he unsure about Capucine’s involvement…? Like he knew Capucine was Ortie and he must’ve known that Capucine was running the hospital Nadia was in… also knew he was abusing Lucas and doing fucked up human experimentation, Dahut so why are you surprised??? I would’ve pulled Nadia out if there the second I became friends with her, a huge chunk of this is your fault 😭

But bruh… this is not a salvation end… it’s a despair end with more CGs and trying-to-talk-with-a-slit-throat-while-coughing-up-blood ASMR wtf 💀

(Poor Lucas saying “I can’t do this anymore” was so relatable lmao sweetie the game is doing you so dirty I am so sorry, like oh my god make the pain stop… what do you mean it’s only gonna get worse?!)

I am glad though that even though we stabbed our boy in the throat we are still going after Capucine’s ass together! Seeing him scared was so satisfying aah, GET FUCKED CAPUCINE HELL YEAH YOU BETTER BE AFRAID BITCH!! Even with 0 pints of blood, Lucas is still kicking down doors and kicking ass, what a king 👑 the man must be leaking everywhere (like sir we cut an artery, there must be a fountain coming out of you), love the “man too angry to die” vibes 😌

Bruh the siblings face to face is so fucked. Was not expecting Dahut to have already been there and playing dead though! Even though you’re kinda the reason Lucas and Nadia’s lives got so fucked, I’m glad you helped in the end 😌 get fucked (again) Capucine!! I’m very glad Nadia was the one to claw the shit out of that garbage man 🔥💯

Aha, the touching sibling reunion is SO super duper fucked 😭 they did not have to describe how Nadia can feel the other body parts and how much it hurts… like Jesus fucking Christ honey I am so sorry you’re in this game, this is too much suffering for such a sweet character 😩

God I am so absolutely devastated, his dying CG was pretty at least… ಥ_ಥ this ain’t fair though y’all… what is this injustice for Lucas?? Like this is some Shakespearean tragedy bullshit… Whoever decided his gravestone CG needed THREE variations is sadistic lmao 😭

My crops are dying, my skin is dry, everything is pain… I guess all we can really do is take some solace in the fact that he gets a happy ending with Nadia in Le Salut…

I don’t think the salvation theme music ever even played???? I also realized this motherfucker’s been wearing high heels the whole time while on his murderous rampage??? WORK BITCH damn 💅

Phew this rant for just Lucas probably could’ve been its own post honestly lmao but oh well, the man changed my brain chemistry… guess it’s time to pray for the FD to be localized. Please our lord and savior Scien, let it be soon, Lucas deserves so much better than what he got 😭

Well guess that’s it for my rambling posts about virche evermore!! This game was a wild ride from start to finish and I loved it, time to make shitty memes to cure my brain rot (sorry if this post was incomprehensible LOL)

[cuntess-carmilla]

If you followed me recently for That post about US imperialism...

Since that post seems to have died out for now, I feel it’s finally time to address some things. A ton of people started following me from That post going viral. I want to warn anyone new that this is not a politics blog.

I post about politics pretty often, but it’s above all a personal blog. If you followed me to get a charge-free political science class or some shit like that then you’re out of luck. I’m not a walking lesson. My life, thoughts and emotions aren’t a learning experience or case study for anyone. I’m a human being.

Now, some warnings:

I’m a man-hating dyke, this is an unironic misandry zone. I really fucking hate men and I’m not and will never be apologetic about that. If you think that this somehow excludes oppressed men you’re wrong lol (I’m looking at you, gay and bi dudes). I don’t wish men oppression because I don’t wish that on anybody even if I hate them. I’m not gonna be automatically rude to men as individuals unprovoked, but I ABSOLUTELY will if I’m given reason to do so, and I will not filter out my words whenever I whine about how much I fucking hate men in general. Got it? Good.

White women are insufferable too tbh.

Also speaking of men AND white people, please read the first fucking line of my very short description. It’s right there, for fuck’s sake. White women or otherwise white non-men, this includes you. I stg I’ve rarely had moc follow me since I put that in my description but a ton of white bitches seem to think that “men OR whites” = white MEN. No, baby. It means you girlies and gentlethems too. <3

I’m not too found of body-abled people or allistics either! Also of doctors and shrinks.

Specifically when it comes to psychiatry and psychology, I’m anti-psych/mad pride. No, I don’t think all the issues that psychiatry and psychology often poorly attempt to address are “fake”. Come on, I have many of those Issues myself and I’ve seen real human suffering by multitudes. It’s much more complex than believing none of those things are real. Click here if you want more details on my views on this.

Wlwoc, twoc and disabled woc are the people I prioritize most of all, lesbians in particular when it comes to wlwoc, but I do NOT tolerate biphobia, as I don’t with transphobia and transmisogyny either (as much as I’ll admit I’m not infallible with any of those because I’m not part of any of the affected groups*, but I do try). All of that said, I do not give passes to people for lesbophobia. I have done it in the past in specific situations, but not anymore. I don’t care who you are or what your intentions were. I’m sick and tired of it.

I don’t take kindly to people sexualizing me without my explicit consent. I don’t want to ever receive comments about my tits or whatever EVEN IF YOU’RE A WLW OR A GAY MAN. Call me pretty and shit like that if you want, but if you cross this boundary I’m cussing you out and blocking you immediately. The only person in the world who has my consent to sexualize me is my fiancé. I’ve had this happen to me too many times and I’m TIRED of it.

I’m extremely whiny. Complaining is one of my major hobbies. It’s an art. I’ve mastered it through the years. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

I can get really annoying when giving my Opinions and like, I’m a multiple Scorpio with a lot of Virgo and some relevant Aquarius so I’m a highly opinionated bitch. I’m the personification of “AND ANOTHER THING...!”

I rant a lot even when I’m not being a pissbaby! I’m a VERY silent autistic offline and, as I’ve mentioned in recent posts, my brain NEVER shuts up so in turn I don’t ever shut the fuck up online because I infodump and vent everything I don’t out loud in here! Among many other things, I often rant about interests the majority of the population doesn’t share with me. I will, in particular, post often about goth music and the goth subculture in general. I mean, I don’t get why anyone would be surprised about that after taking a look at my blog for 0.1 seconds, but I HAVE, incredibly, been unfollowed for Goth On Main Crimes. Also I’m not kidding when I say that this is me when I’m talking about music:

Also astrology. I like astrology a lot and I’m also that picture ^ when it comes to infodumping and theorizing around astrology. I do it a lot less now than I used to a while ago though.

Sometimes I post VERY triggering content. I try to TW as appropriately as possible while dealing with brain fog, but keep that in mind. This includes when I vent about my personal life, feelings and trauma. I don’t filter myself much on that end and that includes talking about csa and other forms of sexual abuse/assault, lesbophobia, allistic abuse, peer abuse (”bullying”) and suicide.

I use the words “cunt”, “slut” and “bitch” very liberally, in case you couldn’t tell on your own yet. Reason for that: I’m Chilean. If that bothers you, the door is wide open.

If we’re not friends or at least mutuals and I haven’t asked for advice, please refrain. Unless you’re being rude or inappropriate I won’t attack you or anything, but it makes me uncomfortable.

English is my second language and I’m developmentally disabled and brain fogged from my chronic illness, so prepare for me sometimes messing up grammar and all that. Hell, I do it in Spanish too when it gets bad enough.

I practice what I can most accessibly (if begrudgingly) describe as “witchcraft”. I don’t talk about it often here but I do from time to time. Jic, I’m not pagan.

*I’m not cis, I’m a non-binary lesbian. However, I’m still a TME lesbian at that and I don’t think MY experiences are materially comparable to those of trans people (including non-binary ones), so I choose, individually, not to identify as trans. This by no means implies that I think non-binary people aren’t trans or that I have any place to decide who among us gets to identify as trans or not, including non-binary people who’re similar to me. This is all only about how I feel about myself.

[retrorealeyes]

stomachache

sdfjsdkfhsk I don’t know what this is going to be. I quit twitter so I could stop being addicted and do better in school but nooooo I need attention/my words in the public eye

I have a fucking headache, fucking stomache overall I’m not doing well. (this maybe because I woke up 3 hours ago and I still haven’t eaten because i’m avoiding mother you will see below)

“Why?”

Because my mom saw my BEN SHAPIRO RAPE ART. (to clarify it was post rape or whatevr idk if it even implied rape, but there were naked people,no sex but it was implied to be about sex and not like “anotomy” or something so I cna’t play it off)

“What?” or maybe even “WHAAAAAAAT?????!!!”

Basically it was a joke with a twitter friend, I made of my own accord randomly. Lewd thing’s include

-ben shapiro has no pants

-ben shapiro has his GIANT DICK OUT (2 balls, probably not accurate, basically no references, but it’s obvious it’s a penis,no matter how crude)

-there’s a girl lying in front of him, basically naked, the outline of her showing (tits) touching his dripping dick

-there’s another girl, lying with her butt facing the outside of the drawing

None of it is “detailed or accurate” it was drawn as a joke. But it doesn’t matter. It’s NSFW and my mom had TIME to examine it and whatever other words are on the notepad. I hid it now so I can’t look at it but there’s that. And she wants to talk ABOUT IT.

Also to clarify we’re Indian which is relevant information because it tells you the following:

-we’ve literally never discussed sex,etc. she just lets the school teach me

-i “shouldn’t knwo this stuff” even though I should

-very conservative even if she votes democrat

-etc. etc.

-and ‘m not doing well in school so obviously she has full eprmission to be mad at me over anything EVEN IF IT WAS THE NOTEPAD I LITERALLY WROTE ALL MY HTOUGHTS IN AND LEFT OUT (not to the ben shapiro page) TRUSTING HTEM NOT TO SNOOP BECAUSE I’D SEVERAL TIMES RECENTLY TOLD EHR AND MY DAD NOT TO SNOOP BUT NO SHE DOESN’T CARE THAT I LITERALLY CAN’T TRUST HER WITH MY STUFF EVER AND THIS IS WHY (not this exactly but my parent’s oppressive take to parenting and my dad’s angry outburts have definetly contributed largely) I CAN’T OPEN UP TO THEM OR MY FRIENDS OR ANYBODY,,,, EVER

-i’ve primarily learnt that shit from the internet, though very accurately, I don’t want my internet access taken away because a.school b. I kinda NEED it

SO obviously I have to lay it off as a. just a joke b. not talk about it because she was snooping (which makes me seem suspicious) c. say I drew it LONG AGO and AS A JOKE d. ignore it until she forgets/realizes she cna’t question me on it (v. hard lot’s of avoiding, will probably take away my interent) or even e. I drew it intentionally to see if she’d noop, but tthat takes away my moral high ground because now it’s bait that I left out + she’ll catch my bluff

It’s possible i acted macho enough in the morning when she asked me about it, she’ll leave me and my burgeoning sexuality alone (I’M KIDDING IT WAS A JOKE NOT A HORNY THING I STG). Plus she’s nosy as fuck (as evidenced) so probably not. Plus she stole my computer after I did that, while I lay in bed, so she’s gonna be petty.

SO I guess I’ll avoid her and play up the macho (b.) and fall onto a variation combination of b& c if she presurizes me + if further pressurized uphold my moral high ground in draiwng hta t(it’s normal, a joke, it’s my stupid head pad, we learned shit in shcool) nad the fact she shouldn’t have snooped. If she asks what it is I’ll say somehting like “”naked people,, I’ve seen people draw >boy parts< in shcool as a joke”

(this story ft. the first line of CaliforM.I.A. from Black Friday)

PLUSPLUSPLUS I should be doing my hw but all my supplies except my lapttop are outside my rooma nd my mom HAD to go snoop on my NSFW ABSOLUTELY FUCKIGN SHITTY JOKE ART so I’m oretty stuck

plus I cna’t go on twitter so I have no outlet

plus i stayed in bed because mom woke we up wiht that real nice line, “I saw your art, we need to talk about it” (I forgot where this point was going but, yeah)

I need to change into normal clothes

I’m hungry

I skipped my first class just becuase I--- couldn’t after that WONDERFUL morning and last evening (which I don’t have the will to elaborate on, just assume I didn’t sleep well and that yesterday was similarly but not excessively shitty)

My crush (who I haven’t messaged back for two weeks, yes I have AVOIDANT TENDENCIES and there was no reason to avoid it i’m just a frigging bitch and YES I do hate myself I’m actually really fucking sorry and my parents [it’s implied he hasa crush back so that’s nice] would never let me date him but we can dream or whatever)  called me last night apparently (I didn’t see it) and left the messgae “>:(” (jokingly) so I’m tempted to apologize and send the art i drew of him (luckily I have pictures on my comp. before my mom took my ohone away) as a sort of “will this do as sacrifice lol” IDK I’M BIG DUMB DUMB, YEAH?

i’m doing shitty in school

help

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

school

i have no motivation

I HAVE ALL FS AND I’M INDIAN DO Y’ALL KNOW HOW PRECARIOUS MY SITUATION IN BECAUSE IDFK WHAT I’M DOING

there were a few otehr things but honestly i forgot, mayeb they were like “i’ve been avoiding clubs, friends, etc. and i’m still not able to do well in school”

and i’m hella thirsty (source of the headache + my stress i believe) but i refuse to go down :disappointed face emoji:

sorry for the incessant spelling errors, this is literally a freaked out tired rant. I’m going on a walk now which involves going out of my bedroom and passing mother dearest so Imma be fuckign sick. SOrry if you read this mess this far. I hope YOU’RE having a good day, because i’m NOT.

hErE cOmE tHe fUcKiNg wOlVeS (I hear y dad go downstairs and i don’t think he’s seen IT because he claims, “I’ll never snoop if you tell  me not to” but guess what? he still keeps trying snoop. so it’ll be hella worse if he has. I thought my lil sister was down but she’s up so I guess I don’t have protection from confrontation any way)

also ft. freaking out by the wrecks (proabbly) though that was mainly wednesday (2 days ago, also when I did no hw despit eit being a free day and quit twitter though I still need a coping mechanism and look where THAT got me (addicted to journaling, scrolling tiwtter and saving tweets instead of liking htem so nobody knows I’m there adn TUMBLR))

[infinite-inferno]

Who Cares?

Fandom: Jacksepticeye

Characters: Chase Brody, Doctor Henrik von Schneeplestein, Marvin the Magnificent, Jackieboy Man, Jameson Jackson, Antisepticeye

Content warning: a lot of mentions of depression, addiction, alcoholism, suicide mentions, suicidal thoughts

If I wasn’t on mobile I’d use the zalgo text for anti so instead it’s bolded

[[MORE]]

As soon as Chase closed the door to his bedroom he flopped onto the bed, his smiling and laughing expression he wore seconds ago with his family immediately replaced by a somber one. He took long, deep breaths, having a staring contest with the ceiling (it of course won). After... well he couldn’t tell how long he laid like that - time seemed to slow and drag on forever but also go way too fast - he spoke so softly to himself that he barely heard himself speak. “Am I really depressed? Or is it just that I’m reminding myself that I’m supposed to be sad? I was just out there with everyone for hours and wasn’t sad at all. Am I just faking it?” A lone tear escaped from his eye and he didn’t bother to wipe it away.

He heard his phone vibrate, but didn’t bother to check it. The only person that would be calling him is his therapist’s office, attempting to confirm a meeting he already planned on skipping. He went to one to humor Jackie, and of course he had to schedule another visit, but the whole time he knew that he wasn’t going back. He would just be wasting his therapists time, and taking up space for people who really needed therapy.

His room wasn’t far from the room where all the other egos were still gathered - he told the others that he was going to his room to plan the next bro average video (which he really should be doing anyway) - and he could faintly hear some conversations. From what he could piece together, they started playing Cards Against Humanity and somehow Jameson was winning, even though he didn’t understand most of the cards. He could tell that they were having a lot of fun - a lot of fun without him.

“Would anyone even care if I-“ he spoke, again, barely audible (he wondered if he even vocalized the words, or if they halted in his head). He had to stop himself short, not daring to finish the thought. “Chase you idiot, you already tried to do it and you know what outcomes you would get. Doc would blame himself if he couldn’t save you, Marvin would lock himself away in his room and refuse to come out, Jackie would take out all his emotions on fighting villains that were unbeatable, at least in his headspace, and Jamie would...” he trailed off, biting his lip. “That’s right... he wasn’t even here when I did it...” Chase blinked and violently shook his head. “PMA Chase... PMA... PMA... PM- ya know they can shove that up their arse. I need a fucking drink is what I need not some positivity bullshit,” he grumbled, going back to further examine his closet. There had to be something...

Huffing, he picked up a pair of shoes, put his hat back on his head, and wiped any evidence of tears off his face before walking out of his room. He took a deep breath right before he got to the room where all the egos were gathered - he was right about his guesses as to their activity - and strode to the door. Jackie looked up from the game as Chase walked past to get his coat. “Hey Chase, what’s up? Where’re ya going?” He sensed something off about him (but it could’ve just been paranoia) and needed to make sure nothing happened to any of his brothers.

Chase blinked. He didn’t expect any of them to notice and now all of them were staring at him and- ‘deep breaths’ he thought to himself. “I’m just... going for a walk. I’m stuck on trying to find a new idea and... need to clear my head.”

If Jackie still had his doubts, he kept them to himself. “You have your phone on you right?”

Chase held up his phone as evidence, giving a “yup” in response. With that, he walked out the front door. “Of fucking course it’s raining,” he muttered, heading towards one of the bars in town. He knew better than to try any of the ones close to the house, as they knew him and wouldn’t contribute to his addiction. Finally, he ended up at one that he didn’t even know existed, and figured it was worth a shot. He walked up to the bar and sat on the stool, surveying his options, pupils dilating by simply looking at the bottles. He told the bartender to “keep em coming until I’m so plastered I’m falling off the chair.”

The bartender eyed him, as it was 4:30 pm on a Tuesday, but didn’t question it, besides offering a “rough day?”

Chase nodded to that, “I guess you could call it that.”

The bartender handed him his drink. “If you want to just drink your cares away, go ahead. But if you want an ear then I’ll be here.”

Chase took a long swig, then registered what the bartender was saying, growling slightly. “I don’t need fucking therapy.” He finished his drink and felt his phone buzz in his pocket.

Baby Bean: “Hello Chase, it’s Jameson. Please do let us know when you will be returning. Marvin wants to know when he should begin making dinner, as he does not want your food to get cold, although given his history, you might be better off eating while you are out! 😆 I also should tell you that, while I do not know for certain, I think that some of the others are fearing that you are out getting bent, but if you say you’re just going for a walk, then I believe you! ☺️💚 Have a swell rest of your stroll!”

Chase sighed, grabbing the phone with his other hand. ‘What do I even say to this?’

“uh idk when i’ll be back. tell marv not to worry about me and not to burn the place down. also ty jj it means a lot that u trust me like that. i just wish the others would too” he deleted the last sentence, not wanting his brothers to feel guilty over not trusting him, especially when they had every right to be doubtful - considering he was actually at a bar. It also hurt to see that Jameson trusted him, because that meant he was betraying his trust, and he drank another glass at the thought.

About 20 minutes later, he felt his phone vibrate again. Judging by how it was many texts all at once, he assumed it was Marvin before he even pulled out his phone.

Magic Man: “Hey”

Magic Man: “I’m making dinner rn”

Magic Man: “It’s mac and cheese and whatever frozen chicken we have”

Magic Man: “Jamie said u were taking a longer walk but like it’s raining out and I don’t want u to get sick”

Magic Man: “Plz respond Chase”

Magic Man: “U there?”

“yo chill marv”

“i stepped inside a store to get out of the rain”

Magic Man: “Do u want one of us to pick u up??”

Magic Man: “If u lmk wya I can teleport to u”

Magic Man: “Or I’m sure Hen or Jackie would drive to get u if u just wanted to drive back”

Magic Man: “Ik how u feel abt teleporting”

Chase bit his lip before downing another glass. He forgot exactly what he was drinking, but it was alcohol and that’s all he cared about. He didn’t want to tell them that he was at a bar, not even thinking about how anyone could see or smell that he was drunk from a block away. He got another drink and almost forgot to respond before another message came through.

Magic Man: “Chase?”

Magic Man: “Plz just tell me where u r so we can pick u up”

“what so u can make fun of me??? nope i’ll b home later. i’m gonna stay here a bit longer then WALK home”

Chase put his phone away, not wanting to see Marvin’s response and just wanting to see more alcohol in his hands.

It was probably about an hour later when the bartender finally cut him off. He said that he was told to stop him when he looked like he was going to fall out of the chair and so the bartender wasn’t going to let him have any more. Plus his boss would be pissed if he let Chase leave any more intoxicated than he already was.

Chase stormed out of the bar and back into the rain before realizing he had no idea where we was. He looked around and tried to find something familiar but came up with absolutely nothing. He started walking in one direction, but it felt wrong, so he started in the opposite direction, which also felt wrong. So, he did what anyone else in his situation would do - he cried in the rain on the sidewalk of a basically empty street. After he felt he cried all he could, he looked at his notifications.

Baby Bean: 2 unread messages

Ze Best Doctah: 1 unread message

Magic Man: 13 unread messages, 2 missed calls

Spider-Man 2.0: 7 unread messages, 5 missed calls

Turtle: 1 unread message

“Shit.” Chase mumbled, scanning through the messages.

Baby Bean: “Hello Chase, Jameson again! 😊 You haven’t responded to anyone and we are all very worried about you. I’m hoping that your cellular device simply ran out of charge, but Jackie is informing me that when he tries to call you it would not ring as long as it is if your device has run out of battery.”

Baby Bean: “Chase, it’s Jameson. Where are you? I am getting increasingly worried for your safety, as is everyone else. Please respond to one of us.”

Ze Best Doctah: “Chase are you alright? You are scaring all of us. Do you need help? Or a ride? Marvin said you would not tell him where you were. I am praying you are not at a bar but right now I don’t know what to think. I trusted you would be smart and safe but now I’m not sure if you were either. Please call one of us when you see this.”

Magic Man: “Chase y do u think I would make fun of u?”

Magic Man: “R u ok?”

Magic Man: “R u mad at me?”

Magic Man: “Chase plz answer someone”

Magic Man: “If I said smth I’m sry”

Magic Man: “Just plz come home”

Magic Man: “Chase?”

Magic Man: “Ur dinner is getting cold WHERE ARE YOU”

Magic Man: “If u put on dnd I’ll b pissed”

Missed call from Magic Man

Magic Man: “Chase I stg if ur at a bar rn imma fucking deck u”

Magic Man: “No actually I’ll let Jackie do that”

Missed call from Magic Man

Magic Man: “Pick up ur damn phone Brody!!”

Magic Man: “Where tf r u????!!!!”

Spider-Man 2.0: “where did you go chase???????”

Spider-Man 2.0: “I thought you were just going on a walk”

Spider-Man 2.0: “THIS IS A VERY LONG WALK ITS BEEN HOURS”

Missed call from Spider-Man 2.0

Spider-Man 2.0: “if I have to save your ass from something or someone”

2 missed calls from Spider-Man 2.0

Spider-Man 2.0: “this isn’t funny chase”

Spider-Man 2.0: “I’m really fucking worried about you

2 missed calls from Spider-Man 2.0

Spider-Man 2.0: “CHASE I SWEAR IF YOU DONT PICK UP YOUR PHONE IM COMING TO LOOK FOR YOU”

Turtle: “Brody get your ass home RIGHT NOW!”

Chase weighed his options between who seemed the least pissed at him. Marvin and Jackieboy were obviously out. He didn’t particularly want to call Anti either. That left Henrik and Jameson. He went to the contact and pressed the call button. It barely rang before it was picked up.

“CHASE!! VERE ZEE FUCK HAFFE VOU BEEN??” Henrik shouted, his accent the thickest Chase has ever heard it, barely understandable in his drunken haze

“I’m sorry Hen” he slurred

“Chase vere are vou? Are vou fucking betrunken?!”

“Hen, Hen what? I-I don’t know what... what you’re saying.”

“HES ASKING IF YOU’RE DRUNK ASSHOLE!” Jackie shouted. “You’re on speakerphone you dick!”

Chase couldn’t see it but Jameson was trying to tell Jackie to calm down.

“OH FUCK NO THIS IS AS CALM AS I’LL BE JAMIE!”

Chase sat down on the sidewalk, leaning against a building. “I’m not fucking drunk,” he slurred

“Tell that to your voice.” Marvin piped up.

“Fiiiiiiiineeeeee mayyybeee I had a drink or few. Happy?”

“How many is ein few?”

Chase snorted and started laughing like that was just the funniest thing ever. “Fuck if I know, I wasn’t counting.”

“Chase where are you?” The static behind the phone let him know it was Anti and he whimpered.

“You’ll be mad at me...”

“WE’RE ALREADY MAD AT YOU DIPSHIT!” Jackie yelled. Henrik left the phone on the table while he grabbed his shoes and a jacket, figuring that because Chase called him, he should be the one to get him.

Chase suddenly got quiet. “I don’t know.”

“What do you mean you don’t know?” Marvin furrowed his eyebrows.

“I mean I’m lost... that’s why I called... I was at a bar, then tried to walk home and got lost.”

There was silence for a little while. Marvin suddenly stepped towards an open area of floor and started mumbling a spell. “He’s on the corner of Center Street and Behmer Drive. A block down from a bar.” Henrik nodded, grabbing his phone and getting into the car.

“Chase stay on ze phone ja?”

“Okayyyy.” Chase yawned. “Hen I’m tired.”

“Vell I vill not carry vou in so vou need to stay avake”

“But I’m sleepyyyyyyy” Henrik sighed, driving as fast as he could without getting arrested until he saw a familiar figure all the while trying to keep said person awake. He pulled over and got out of the car. Chase stood up, but he stood up too quickly and vomited, luckily for him none of it got on Henrik. As soon as he was done, he was ushered into the car.

“I von’t um... vhat is that expression? Chew vou out now, vou vill certainly get enough shit vrom Jackieboy and Marvin.”

“Thank you,” Chase mumbled, the heat of the car feeling nice on his cold wet body.

“Und vour hangover und sickness vill be more zan enough punishment tomorrow.”

“I’m real sorry Hen.”

“Zat is vhat vou zaid last time. Und vou did it again. Vou must earn mein trust back Chase. Jamie’s too. Und vou vill be lucky if ze ozers trust vou again soon.” All of a sudden, Chase broke into sobs. He thought he didn’t have anymore tears left in him, but apparently he was wrong.

“Please don’t make me see them Hen... I’m just so weak and pathetic and you all are important. All I have is... is... I’m just useless. What have I ever been besides a nuisance? With all my whining about Stacy, over reacting to a couple sad days and calling it depression, my-my bad habits and self destructive tendencies... I’m surprised you all still keep me around,” Chase’s whole body shook with his sobs.

There was a lot to unpack there and Henrik had no clue where to start. He pulled into the driveway and put the car in park, turning to face Chase. “Chase... how long have vou been feeling like zis?”

He just shrugged. “I dunno... a while now, maybe a year or so?”

“Vhy didn’t vou say anyzing?”

“I was scared you would realize your mistake and kick me out.” He mumbled. It was quiet, but Henrik heard it loud and clear.

“Ve vould never dream of it Chase. Vou are far from useless-“

“Oh yeah? Name one thing that I’ve done that actually helped!”

Henrik went silent as his brain tried to think of a good example that wasn’t easily written off because he knew that anything he said would be torn to bits anyway.

“Thought so.” Chase shook his head. “I actually thought you were gonna say something too. Guess I can add moron to the list.”

“Chase stop-“

“Oh look, I’m being a bother yet again. Shocking.” He got out of the car, slamming the door, puked in the grass, then went inside, ready to be reminded yet again of how weak and pathetic he was.

The second he opened the door was the second the yelling began. He didn’t even bother protesting because they were all right. He screwed up, could’ve died, worried them all.

“Do you have ANY idea how scared we were?! I thought I was going to get a call from a hospital that you were hurt or DEAD! We all were so worried-“

“I DIDN’T ASK YOU TO CARE!” Chase snapped.

“WELL SCREW YOU TOO! I’m your brother!” Jackie fired right back.

‘Ok I think that’s enough’ Jameson tried to intervene, but of course, nobody was paying attention to him. Well, nobody except one person who did happen to notice. Anti stepped in between the two.

“That is enough.” His voice caused everyone to stop yelling, Jameson signing a small thank you towards him. “It seems like Chase has already berated himself over and over, haven’t you? I’m not inside your head, chill out, but you’re fucking screaming it with your body language. You seem to forget that you all can’t hide anything from me. And, I can assure you Chase, you aren’t faking anything, and we all would care.

“Don’t you see? Look around you Brody! Jackieboy is yelling at you because he was scared, and cares so damn much about you. Marvin had so much anxious energy that while he was pacing he started to fucking glow. Yes Marvin, I saw that. Jameson wasn’t signing anything, he just retreated into his mind again, like he always does when he’s worried. Henrik was prepping his work station just in case you came home half dead and was shaking so much he dropped half his equipment. And I-” Anti took a deep breath “I was glitching so much I disappeared for a little bit, just static filling my place. I’m still glitching a lot, and it is taking all of my energy to stay present enough to knock some sense into your drunken mind! We care about you because we all have no idea what we would do without you here!” He balled his hands into fists, and stared down Chase, watching him deflate even more than he already was. He shook his head, retreating to his room where he resumed his excessive glitching.

Jameson was the first one to recover. ‘Chase? What did Anti mean about “you aren’t faking anything, and we all would care”?’ When he was met with a blank stare, he sighed and looked to one of the others to translate. Marvin was the one to interpret for Chase.

“I... I had it in my head that... that I was just faking my depression... that I was just sad a bit. And that... that nobody would care if I... if I... tried again.” Everyone in the room but Jameson understood, and Jameson wasn’t quite sure if he wanted to know. His mind supplied an answer and he didn’t like it. Jackie was the one to walk over to Chase and engulf him in a hug. The rest soon followed, and Chase began to cry again into Jackie’s shoulder. After a while they one by one let go, and Chase looked between them all before going to his room and passing out on his bed.

[themanicgalaxy]

SPN 5X5 Fallen Idols

aight let's see them be idiots

boy does dean play shit close to the chest sure that won't come back to bite him

o boy an old fancy car

this car is gonna kill them

cal is DEAD the c ar killed him

oh that is GRUESOME

ah a return to normal, I can't believe I missed this

actually...so has the show, it's the first one this season

ok but BOY is the car pretty I can excuse the slobbering over it, I love the impala

"whatever it looks like is what it usually is" is SO pointed jesus

aw Dean and his old movies

heheh haunted car

also Dean is a NERD

boy this car is actually scary

ah he tried for a joke but he's spooked

ah ok the flirting, back to form

oh it's a fAKE?

uh oh

ABE LINCOLN?

the emancipation proclamation is a nice touch

WHY does he have the Bad Takes, I feel like that's pointed I SWEAR

ah they can't understand her fun

LMAO IT'S LINCOLN

ABE LINCOLN KILLED A DUDE

"that's what it looks like" hmmmm

ahaha a wax museum

oh they were regulars fun

"you ever see things move" "..bitch wtf?"

ah it's their remains

DEAN OH MY GOD YOU CAN'T TALK TO PEOPLE FOR SHIT

ah yes Total Fresh Start

Dean you fucking nerd

THESE ARE SO CREEPY JESUS

Sam you stupid bastard

god the lincoln is genuinely creepy

oh good it's gandhi

oh it's cuz Sam's a super fan of Gandhi ahahaha

I love how Sam could see that Dean was gonna tease him about this

Dean's terrible trust issues whoops

"you'll never punish me as much as I'm punishing myself" oh?

Dean's protective but overbearing, and Sam got sick of it ouch

PRONOUN GAME!

PARIS HILTON AHAHAHA

AHAHHAA

oh it's cuz she's not dead

was she that famous? really?

oh fun Sam gets to do the autopsy he's 100% qualified to do so

those sounds canNOT be right i stg

Seeds?

Dean I swear you're not cool either

ooo pagan god

"blood from his worshippers"

he's really stuck on James Dean

ah so the wax museum is used to scope out the targets I see

oh good it's Paris Hilton

boy this is fun

ooo the sharpening her nails on knives, very girl boss of her

actually the wax museum is perfect, adds this fake veneer

ah yes the "progress"

I feel like this is pointed about progress too

ah the apocalypse

gods to celebrities ooo

did they make her paris hilton just for the sexy

WHY DOES DEAN KNOW PARIS HILTON THAT WELL

jesus did they seriously just say "all you wanted was to be loved by your dad" AND STILL TRY AND PAINT HIM AS A GOOD GUY LATER?

ooo very bloody

aw sibling banter

none of y'all are good at big picture, NONE of you

OPE THE LEATHER JACKET AGAIN I ALMOST MISSED IT

CUZ HE'S FEELING VULNERABLE

O H HE LETS SAM DRIVE!

oh my god superstitious being the ending song is so good though

ah to lead into the...intro I see

boy this show is good at promising it'll be good

1. the "it's what it is" . the "It's what it appears to be" (coupled in with Sam and Dean taking obvious choices and then starting the apocalypse) felt seriously pointed, although since we were supposed to end up on their side, that was unintentional. It's an interesting thing, where they realize that they took obvious choices, or the ones in front of them, and then it was wrong, especially in the episode they're working through Trust Things. I thought it was neat.

God I want to believe it was done on purpose

2. idols? I think it needed to be fleshed out, but the idea of using celebrities as idols in replacement of gods(especially as God keeps getting more and more Absent Father treatment) but...it's so good? Like there's a lot to be said for the worship we give to things, like Abe Lincoln's speeches, Paris Hilton(I have no idea what she did), actors that gave us characters. Like the blood spattering the Abe Speech, or the car, or all of that was Interesting iconography, and it could genuinely have been a good one-off to explore within the context of the series. Good idea, but needed a bit of fleshing out

3. This needed to be episodic. Like this is just a small thing, but since this show is episodic but wants to be serialized, it just...throws as much as it can from a week to week basis. Like it promises a LOT, but due to. Everything. It can't always deliver. It just is a LOT, and it's by design, so you get Absorbed every week.

4. sibling banter. So as they were building trust, they also went back to the banter a little bit, which was like. I thought realistic. Like a broken sibling relationship is hard, and they're still working it out

5. obligatory Dean. Just the whole "Dad is my hero and want him to love me" that was just...casually in there is so fucked up. why do they make John a hero again? Plus he tries the Rogue thing, and it doesn't work as well for him this episode, due to heightened emotions? I think?

Also after the confrontation, he's feeling vulnerable so he wears his dad's leather jacket!! again(like armor, I've seen said) and then he lets Sam drive, continuing the vulnerability

6. needle drop. OK so they did a Teasing thing with it. I really liked the ending part, I thought it was SOLID and wished it cut to black, but as an AMV song, it's p good too. I think this was seen as "unimportant"(back to basics) so they sacrificed a bit of story to get you hyped for stuff they're hyped about. I'm a bit mad, but also the stuff they plugged is genuinely fun/funny/good, and so I cannot blame them(as much) for that I'm so excited.

les go

[r-o-se]

EXACTLY 101 comments over P101 S2E4 wow how did I manage that don’t ask me also sorry for the shit screencaps lmao NOTHING THAT CUTE OR COOL HAPPENED IT WAS JUST SAD

Yo those eps are getting subbed faster than they used to idk whats going on but I’m definitely not complaining lol lets get riiiiiiiiiight into the neeeeeeeeews

1.      Flashback scenes to Jisung and Jinwoo’s teams losing are not appreciated at all stop the MMO abuse

2.      ‘3000 votes is too many’ I AGREE the Be Mine team is training everywhere and all the time poor fucking kids

3.      Who edited this and thought that ‘wow a piano rendition of out song would be a great and dramatic choice’ newsflash it’s not I’m already done with this song lmao

4.      SHINEE SHINEE SHINEE REPLAY TEAMS YOOOOO

5.      Pink team Ren and Yuehua chinaliners vs green team Sanggyun  and MMO Jaehan and Taewoong

6.      The pink cutesy Ren team is…. Too aegyo-ish  I’m older than 80% of them yet I feel like a pedophile watching this SAVE ME SOMEONE

7.      Sanggyun and Justin are the centers and both fucking wreck their roles in the best way possible

8.      Justin is so overacting and cheesy I’m rotting lmao love my kid tho

9.      Lee Gunhee aka the (RBW?) kid whose intro vid was him singing while getting hit by shit to show how stabile he is keeps getting out of tune I’m sad and worried

10.   The vocals trainers in this show I stg their method is just singing the high notes and then looking at the trainee like ‘what u cant do this lol? Try harder’

11.   Ren is comforting the kid whos dying of self doubt u g h

12.   AND HERE WE GO LMAO THEIR SMILES ARE SO BRIGHT SOMEONE STOP THE PINK TEAM

13.   U get the most flowerboyish pretty boy that has ever lived (Ren) and u give him the ugliest haircut u can think of pretty sure this counts as a crime

14.   GUNHEE DID IT IT ONLY BROKE A BIT IN THE VERY VERY END HE PULLED IT OFFFFFF AND HE PULLS OFF ALL THE NOTES AFTER THAT TOO

15.   Zhu Zheng did a frontflip of course he did lmao also Jihoon is probs pissing his pants because everyone around keep winking lmao

16.   Team 1 is playing around and being cute w the camera but team 2 look a bit troubled also ugh they are too hardcore for this fucking god Zhu Zheng kiddo I love you but you put them into such a shitty position aaaaa

17.   Here we gooooooooooooo green team lookin cuter than I expected holy damn Sanggyun is SINGING and it’s SO GOOD FOR A RAPPER

18.   HE IS ALSO SHOWING HIS ABS LMAOOO THIS ISNT THAT SORT OF SONG AAHAHAH FUCK

19.   Their performance is really good? A Lot cuter than I predicted and the vocals are so goooood

20.   Why do all other trainees look so sour did u want them to fail or some shit just let the kids live they were forced into such an uncomfortable concept aaaaaaa I WANNA VOTEEEE

21.   Time for pain and results team 1 won with ~70 votes im SAD Sanggyun was the only one who took the position points win aaaahhhhhh  ngl I was rooting for #2 eventho #1 had Ren and Yuehua kiddos also 3000 votes is TOO FUCKING MUCHH I HATE P101

22.   Now its Mansae aka power vocals vs the leftovers rip

23.   Woodam is one of my fav vocals overall this season all of the shit he’s done his intro clip his evaluation and reeevaluation clips are all so golden I love that dude and obvs he’s SLAYING THIS SONG TOO AGH

24.   Team 1 Yoonsung left due to health problems this is what happens when u don’t give kids food and make them get stage ready within a week and rearrange within 2 days

25.   It stressed Woodam the fuck OUT and he messed up a looot during rehearsals, missing notes and whatnot

26.   Their rapper reminds me of cube Soyeon last season with his kinda small and cutesy looks yet super charismatic stage presence

27.   Woodams VOCAAAAAAAALSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

28.   Ok now the leftover group I really hope they will do alright they make me really sad ugh I really really really hope they’re okay u g h

29.   Theres this kid Hadon who is really salty about being in that team and leaves in the middle of practice and then won’t cooperate during trainers thing aahhh kid please

30.   Neverminddd they got nothing to show shit this is gonna be bad I am Very Worried

31.   Kahi is so nice I love her so much she’s so friendly and sweet and good truly the queen of this show without her it would be so much worse

32.   Hadon got his confidence back and their teamwork is so much better now and literally all of this got started by Kahi I LOVE KAHI SO MUCH BEST GIRL

33.   Their energy is a lot better than I expected I’m so glad they went through with their training and everything

34.   The Kim Youngjin kid has absolutely acceptable vocals I’m so glad they didn’t make any mistakes and just agh this team makes me sad

35.   Team 1 wins with overpowering 500 votes they got 500 votes MORE than team 2 it’s just so fucking sad dude 600+ vs 150

36.   But WOODAM ALONEGOT 207 VOTES WHICH IS MORE THAN ENTIRE TEAM 2 HOLY SHITTTTT THIS IS WHAT A POWER VOCAL DOES

37.   SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY

38.   I’ve waited for this stage for sooooooo long they got all of my fav kids in Minhyuns team and then Ha Minho and Seonho and Namhyung in the other team aaaaaaahhh I’ll call them red and black since that’s their suits Minho ‘s team is red and Minhyun’s is black. They all look so good truly nothing wrong with a nice suit

39.   Minho and Namhyung want to insert a self written rap since they’re both rappers and Sorry Sorry has no rapping parts

40.   Minho really really wants to rap but Seokhoon (the vocal coach) doesn’t want to let him and also is mad at him because he wants to rap instead of singing like wow what? A rapper wants to rap instead of singing?? Wow unbelievable

41.   CHEETAH CAME IN AND SAID HE WANTS TO HEAR THE RAP THANK U THANK U THANK U Minho kiddo looked like he’s gonna tear up when he saw her

42.   Seunho was chose to jump on other’s backs since hes so handsome and APPARENTLY ALSO A PIANO GENIUS WOW WHAT ON EARTH DID HE JUST PLAY

43.   I really hope this group will do good since their opponents are sooo strong

44.   Aaahahahha fuck their choreo is so good and the harmonizations I might be biased but the Sorry Sorry stages are literally The Best of this show so far

45.   Seunho is like what 16 yrs old who let him look so good go away his body build makes him look so much older

46.   DANCE BREAK IS SO GOOD DUDE WHAT AND SEUNHOS JUMP WAS SO GOOD HIS EXPRESSION AFTER THAT WAS SOO IMPACTFUL AAHAHAH FUCK DUDE some dude in the audience screamed like someone bit his leg off honestly same

47.   I’ve watched maybe 3 original SuJu sorry sorry versions yet I can sing almost the entire thing that’s what an impactful song means lmao

48.   TEAM 2 AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH THERE THEY ARE MY ULT KIDS

49.   JR is taking care of Hyunbin this is like Sejeong and Sohye last season honestly SO CUTE I LOVE JR SO MUCH THAT KID IS THE SOFTEST LEADER I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

50.   Their vocal coach tried to drag JR’s leadership uhh maybe kindly fuck off that kid doesn’t need your picking to hate himself when will he stop BLAMING HIMSELF

51.   Hyunbin is making mistakes and their dance coach keeps bullying JR like fuck no other leaders got this much shit even when their teammates couldn’t get it done right

52.   He takes all his time to take care of the others like help Hyunbin and Jaehwan with their dance and sleepy/sick Daniel

53.   JR finally broke when Hyunbin isn’t taking it seriously enough

54.   Sorry Sorry black team laughing together in deliriously sick sleep deprivation and choking stress is still probably the most beautiful ray of hope and sunshine in this ugly show I LOVE THIS TEAM SO MUCH

55.   There we go the best stage of this cursed show is here Seungwoos expressions are SO ON POINT ITS SO GOOD JUST DEBUT THEM NOW

56.   They all look so good I’m shook Daniel with a middle part was something I didn’t know I needed before I had it

57.   Lmao Jisung jokingly doing the moves along when Daniel appeared

58.   JAEHWANS VOCALS AND HARMONIES!!!!!!!! F U C K !!!!!!!

59.   I’m so biasaed towards this team if u decide to bring my follower count into single digits for this it’s understandable

60.   But I still really love team 1 too please don’t misunderstand Ha Minho is my lil kid with enough balls to speak his mind even if he gets fucked by rude coaches for it

61.   ‘Result is important but other team did well so I told them that too’ I love JR ok friendship is magic

62.   HYUNBIN GOT THE HIGHEST SCORE OF THEM ALL. WHAT THE HECK DUDE LIKE BRO FELLA BROTHER I LOVE HYUNBINN HAVE LOVED FOR A WHILE BUT. THE HIGHEST SCORE?? BRUH? HIS OPPONENT ONLY HAD 7 VOTES THIS IS SO SAD IM SAD THIS KID IS DEAD INSIDE

63.   Everyone in team 2 besides Seunho got really low votes I’m so sad…… bruh…. They’re so so so so SO talented but they went against the popular kids…

64.   Showing individual votes is so cruel and 3000 EXTRA VOTES IS TOO MUCH IM E M O THIS IS SO UNFAIR FUCK THIS SHOW!!! Team 1 looks so wrecked I’m so sad they have almost a 300 vote gap

65.    It is BEAST TIME ONE OF THE BOYS HAS A CRUTCH WHAT THE HELLLLLL

66.   The crutch boy is Dongmyeong and he’s in team 1 as well as Sunghyuk with thick lips and looks a bit like Shownu

67.   Team 1 has a loooot of problems distributing parts and practicing in general while team 2 was almost ready

68.   Sunghyuk is sadddddddd and crying bc he feels like they’re gonna lose but in the end the practice went better tho thank god

69.   They look great Dongmyeong’s hair looks like vanilla ice cream with strawberry swirls and he’s sitting in a chair and singing doing the choreo with his hands SO CUTEEE

70.   The second team is very vocally gifted and has AMAZING HARMONIES WOOOO their main vocal Jinhyung is AMAZING

71.   Dongsoo from S.How I think got forced into a rap position and has a leg injury but he’s covering it up from teachers

72.   DONGSOO DID SO WELLL SO MUCH BETTER THAN THEYE SHOWED IN PRACTICE THANK U MNET FOR SHOWING HIS PROGRESS

73.   EVERYDAY I CHUG (CHUG) EVERY NIGHT I CHUG (CHUG)

74.   Team 2 won by like 100 votes, all of the team 1 members are very hopeless, esp Sunghyuk,  Team 2 Park Heeseok only got 5 votes holy shitt POOR BABY THIS MUST FEEL SO BAD HE LITERALLY TAUGHT THEM THE DANCE

75.   BE MINE BE MINE WOOOOOOOOOOO FUCK THIS SONG WAS MY FIRST EVER KPOP FAVE

76.   Hwiseung already did his military service holy shit he looks so young

77.   I don’t even know who I am rooting for both those teams are great team 1 has great vocals and teamwork+FNC Hwiseung the power vocal. Team 2 has great dance, more popularity + the little Woojin, Takada Kenta, BNM alpaca Youngmin and oldie Sungwoo

78.   Team 1 has an injured ankle too, Yehyun, but he’s still dancing  without crutches or anything

79.   HWISEUNGS VOCALS SAVED MY LIFE I WANT HIM, JAEHWAN AND WOODAM IN A TRIO PLEASE

80.   They changed Sungyeol’s ‘Can you hear me?’ into ‘Pick me pick me’ im ded

81.   Kahi is the best teacher I love her so so so much she’s the best thing in this entire show

82.   I FORGOT TIPTOES WAS SUNGWOOS NICKNAME THIS IS AMAZING

83.   I’m so glad they’re doing Infinite honestly I love Infinite can we do B.A.P or Teen Top or VIXX next

84.   Team 2 wins almost exactly by one hundred and the votes are veeeeery equal and Youngmin barely got anything why are the dancers not appreaciated

85.   AVENGERS VS BAEKHOS TEAM YOOOOOOOO Baekho has also Sangbin and Guanlin and RBW Lee

86.   IM CHOKING THE AVENGERS ALL SOUND LIKE BABIES WHY DID THEY CHOOSES THIS SONG IM CHOKING

87.   They can’t really sing, the avengers, damn. They lay it all on Daehwi but like cmon hes 17 and just tryna survive with the popular kids lol

88.   AAahahahahah they’re just little kids this is so funny to watch I’m sorry all Avengers fans but like shit when they break into the chest pounding part I just start to laugh their voices are so high don’t get me wrong I looooooove Samuel and Sungwoon but fuck this is funny

89.   They should’ve gone with Seventeen or SHINee something with a morer fitting image

90.   The Real Fuckbois team is now up fuck I love this team so much aahahahah like no shit they will lose to all of those popular kids but still

91.   Oh nooooo Baekho pointed out that the Avengers were cheating and using a third vocal for thhe high note without telling anyone WHAT AN EVIL MAN anyways Baekho produces music and does vocal coaching he knows what he’s talking about lmao lmao

92.   THEY LOOK LIKE SUCH DIRTY FUCKBOIS HOLY SHITTTT THIS IS BEAUTIFULthis stage is SO LIT dude I love it they just carried Guanlin as if he was on a throne now both Cube kids get to sit/step on other trainees lmao

93.   SOMEONE DID A BACKFLIP WHOS THAT IT’S THE BLONDIE KID WITH A LOOSE TIE ITS LEE INSU

94.   Team 2: are fuckbois

Entire dressing room: stands up and claps

It’s true I was there, clapping

95.   Guanlin trumped Samuel, Baekho trumped Sungwoon, all other wins go to team 1

96.   Am I salty? Yes I am Team 1 won with abt 200 votes. They have more views and likes on YouTube though.

97.   Mansae first team got the most votes out of all teams and gets to go to MCountdown IM SO GLAD ALL OF THOSE KIDS WHO AREN’T ON SUCH HIGH RANKS GOT SAVED I’M SO GGLADD

98.   I’m SOOOOOOO FUCKING ANGRY SO MANY A AND B RANK TALENTED KIDS ARE IN SUCHHHHHH LOW RANKINGS THIS IS DEPRESSING

99.   Lbr for a moment this show really isn’t about talent it’s about popularity and visuals

100.  WOODAM GOT FIRST THO IM SO FUCKING AMAZED THIS KID DESERVES IT SO SO SO SO SO MUCH DUDEEEEE THAT KID IS SO TALENTED I’M SO GLAD PEOPLE RECIOGNIZED IT

101.   SANGBIN FELL TO LAST PLACE WHY ARE THEY GETTING SO SO MANY VOTES 3000 IS TOO FUCKING MUCH IM SO MAD ALSO THEY SHOWED JINWOO FOR A MOMENT AND SANGGYUN IS WORRIED IM SSO SO SADDDDD THE NEXT EP IS ONLY A FEW DAYS AWAY ITS RELEASING ON THE SAME DAY AS BAP ARE IN GERMANY

YOOOOOOOOO Sorry for the screencaps again also pls message or talk to me I am... So Emotional over this show I love everyone i will cry when this is over and I won’t see like 40 of my kidws ever again

[buzzycohen]

Okay I’m gonna go on a little rant lmao so just ignore me for a little bit

Pre-Script: I haven’t taken my Lexapro in a long time which is why I’m probably so down and frustrated and irritable but it’ll be okay, I’ll take 4 or so tomorrow morning and I’ll be drugged up for awhile but what’re you gonna do?

I’ve been thinking about my future and it���s just so fucking frustrating! There are so many options. Lawyer? Director? Novelist? I dont know what i want to do! I’ve been told time and time again that i should do what makes me happy but that’s such bullshit, I get tired and bored all the time and can’t stick with just one thing, nonetheless all of them. All I want is a group of friends. That’s all I want. I’d feel so much better and happier if I had, you know, more than 1 person (thanks Elora) who cared about me to the extent that I would care about them? I’m a bitch or annoying or too much to handle or whatever ppl call me behind my back but nsnsjsooashe I want more fucking friends!! I want to go to school in Columbus where I can study things that interest me and I want to be in a school where people just don’t talk to me out of convenience. I think I’m pretty obvious when I’m constantly talking to people and giving them compliments and asking them to hang out and then being rejected all the fucking time!! It hurts to be rejected over and over again when you want to be someone’s friend and I try over and over again but I’m just not good enough or something. The only thing that keeps me at my school is quiz team and I cannot stand quiz team as of late because do you know why?? I’m too loud and annoying and am told that every single practice by seniors who are friends with everyone and they control the quiz team. I don’t even know what I’m doing! Next year I’d be captain, yeah, but I’d be second rate compared to everyone else because they think I’m loud and annoying Yeah, I’m a dick to one guy (which is rude of me) but he: constantly talks back to our coaches, uses guilt and charm to get out of trouble, and hurts other people’s feelings and has admitted to bullying this girl because he misses the attention he used to get from her when they were friends. I think that’s, idk, a pretty good reason for sticking up for myself and other girls and telling him to fuck off?? He’s a fuckboy and the poster boy of white privilege and he is ruining my quiz team experience. He’s friends with everyone except for me and people probably wonder why im like that to him but i feel hardcore threatened by him and I’m defensive but I’m not gonna apologize for being a dick to a guy that hates me. It’s hard, because quiz team is the only reason I’m at my school and I’ve been wanting to quit because of these guys. It’s just not fun anymore, not when I’m better than them but get no respect from them. Speaking of quiz team and no respect, there’s a senior guy that is giving me mixed signals!! I don’t want to date him (so it shouldn't matter…) but he likes me some days and some days (most days) he’s telling me that I’m annoying as hell and that he doesn’t like me. I’ve been nothing but nice to him and I don’t deserve that. Last weekend, I was waiting for a ride and asked to stay in his car for a little bit. He said yes and then he was like, trying to hold my hand and I was lying across the front seats and he was like, awkwardly holding me? I didn’t know what was going on but he was obviously interested in me and I was just talking to make it more of a ~friend~ enviroment. And then next time I see him, he’s telling me to shut up and im loud and I just?? He can’t pull shit like that with me and then expect me to like it when he makes me mad. I’ve been giving him the cold shoulder and I love that I can actually hold a cold shoulder and not give in, because he’s going to be pissed off and he didn’t realize that he can’t play me anymore. Ughhh i hate that I’m going to be going to DC with him and other kids that are mean to me. I sound pathetic but I’m just so freaking tired and hurt by all of this. Anyways, I’m also sick and I’ve also been off of social media for awhile and I just, ugh. I stg I’m going to change schools after this year. I’m sick of this.

[officialpittacuslore]

My favorite whitey old person @gisabarrow tagged me since we’re gonna die in an invasion together

Name: Jay or Brooke’s Bitch 
Height: 5′6″, too average because all bowlers are like 6′1″ and have muscles and can bench press my college tuition with their eyebrows 
Hogwarts house: Ravenclaw pride for intelligence and common fucking sense  
Go to SSBB character: NESS MY BOY 
Fictional character I’d date: Honestly, Tobias Eaton has been my type for years. He’s attractive, he’s snappy, he has goals and motivation like sign me up. We’d argue but arguing is healthy and we also could give each other space when we need it(but I stg I will cut Nita). I’d also date John but I feel like we’d annoy the shit out of each other too much and I value a Mom Friend. I don’t want to break up Rubiam which means I’m lusting for both of them because Ruby and Liam both... hard to choose. Caleb’s too bisexual for my ass, another bisexual, and then there’s Diana Farley who’s too good for me in all ways possible Favorite band or artist: Band: Yellowcard because I’m still an edgy child since I’m on the internet; Artist: Ryn Weaver owns my sort of gay ass When did I make this blog: December 2014! To run away from toxic weebs in the tohoe community; purposeful misspelling! 
How many blogs do I follow: Too damn many, 410 I think? 400 something, I gotta purge since I follow blogs that are years dead for references for edits I’ll never make. I’ve unfollowed so many of my same fandoms too oddly because I’m sick of the same three opinions and just started following baseball and check please blogs, oh and Shadowhunter or ToG salt blogs 
What do I post about: Books, gays, sport ball on my sport ball blog(it’s San Fran’s year this time, bitch), Brooke Mainly Brooke tbh, Stohn is second only to Brooke What’s a Matt 
Do I get asks on a regular basis: Not unless it’s a fic request from a thing I reblogged, somehow no one forgets to ask me to write about gay aliens but then no one reblogs the asks when they get published so I’m confused as fuck 
Aesthetic: Book shelves that are actually organized unlike my tragedies, the cream explosion from black coffee, the sound of a perfect strike in bowling like when the ball hits the pocket just perfect, that echo from a no doubt home run, cameras and their flash sounds, Brooke

TAGGING: @free-lorien for still being dedicated to the fandom, mad props, @lorienis300000000milesaway because she’s in Mexico and checks Tumblr twice a year, @loric-marina because they are also dedicated, my Midwestern faves @lorically and @chickenugs (Krista I think you’re Midwestern, if not you are now), and also @superlocked-potterhead-of-lorien because Carmina is also too good for me