#also i feel a little bad for shitting on sam for not noticing when she went off the trail / putting her in danger

[angelsdean]

OH HOLY SHIT. i did NOT remember that the woman in this episode is the second ghost oh my god. oh sometimes i love forgetting things bc wow that twist was GOOD. i am CHOMPING. this is delicious.

[herejusttosufferalong]

ust when I start to feel like I have a grip on what happened with the part 2 premiere and papgate, I learn or remember something that completely throws me. I feel like I need to lay out some evidence for my own mental clarity. 

I had a bad feeling something was brewing the night of the London premiere before the BackGrid pictures came out based on L’s energy on the red carpet. Here is evidence that SOMETHING was up.

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPRoTmvL4/ People have focused on how cute this is of N and LT, but it’s telling that LT and Claudia form a little huddle of love around her and Hannah joins in. People were feeling very protective of N that night. I can almost imagine LT whispering in her ear, “How are you doing?” and Nic saying with a smile plastered on her face, “He brought her.”

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPRoT9dYE/ Some interpret this as Golda smirking at the lovebirds, but I have never seen anything other than pure disdain in her expression. She is thinking “You motherfucker” and you can’t convince me otherwise. 

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTNbowwQu/ I was reminded of this clip here a few days ago and holy shit. Sam and Joanna are protectively huddled around N, the expression on Sam’s face as he looks directly at L is…not friendly, and I totally see the “stupid arse” thing. That’s not to mention L, who legitimately looks like he’s going to throw up. He is paranoid they are talking about him and, guess what, they are. 

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPRoTvvuH/ Let’s not forget this little dig. N is too classy to reveal anything outright, but her response feels so pointed and L’s reaction is so awkward.  

A few more random thoughts about the night:

I can’t find clips right now that illustrate this, but I remember noticing that L was constantly flicking his eyes upwards throughout the red carpet. He was hyperconscious of the fact that A was watching him from up in that glass box AND that N and the cast knew A was up there.

It struck me recently that I hadn’t seen any pictures or videos of C or LT with LN on this red carpet. LN had a hug with HD and there were those documented moments with Simone, but I would find it very telling if we couldn’t find a single pic or video of C interacting with LN that night. Happy to be proved wrong on this one #showittomeRachel.

I know the official story is that N left the afterparty early because she started filming TMFT the next day, but let’s be real. This was the final event for HER season of Bton. This is a project she loves and a cast that she cares deeply about. If she had wanted to shut the party down, she would have. 

So far, all of this awkwardness could be explained simply by A’s presence and nothing at all related to the paparazzi. The thing that is still SO suspicious to me that makes me think L knew the paparazzi would be there when he left the party is that he was the last to leave the party. Think about everything you have ever read/heard about L in social situations. That sort of gathering is absolutely not his scene. He’s talked about how much he loves an Irish Goodbye. I also feel like it’s sort of cringey to be the last one at a party like that, especially if all of the other main actors have left, including your costar. Why would he have waited until literally everyone else had gone if not because he didn’t want anyone else around for the pap pics? I know people really don’t want to believe L was involved because it is shitty to think about, but I think there are too many odd things that stack up for him to have been blindsided by it. 

The thing that haunts me is that he seemed AWKWARD about everything that transpired that night. This was not a man who felt confident and in control of his life decisions. If this was meant to be the hard launch of a girlfriend, a million different things could have happened. He could have told interviewers how excited he was to have his mom, sister, and gf with him for the event. He could have put his arm around A, grabbed her hand, smiled at the camera, kissed A’s cheek, etc. while the cameras were flashing.

So, that leaves me convinced of two things: Luke knew the paparazzi would be there AND he didn’t want to be photographed with A (at least in a way that would confirm a serious relationship). After tossing around different explanations in my mind, here is what I have come up with.

L is a serial monogamist who really struggles to be alone. He kept A around during the WT because it gave him comfort and a feeling of power to know he had a romantic partner. This would have been important to him for various possible reasons: maybe N was attached to someone during this time and he didn’t want to be the single one; maybe N had rejected his advances and he wanted to seem unbothered; maybe neither he nor N had made a move on each other but he was feelings things towards N he didn’t know how to cope with and A was a distraction. Regardless, he kept A in the picture, though their relationship obviously had a LOT of asterisks surrounding it. He invited her to the premiere at a time when he was feeling especially insecure (for any of the reasons I mentioned above). In his mind, it was going to feel good to have her there. And I think at some point right before the premiere, she convinced him they needed to launch the relationship. If it’s true that something had been going on between them since the fall, then it had been at least eight months of her letting him keep her hidden in the shadows while he flirted shamelessly with his gorgeous soulmate–I mean costar–for the world to see. He agreed to this at a time when he wasn’t secure in whatever he and N had and couldn’t find a compelling reason to say no to A’s request. 

But I think he underestimated two things:

1) How shitty it would feel to have A at the premiere as his date after getting so close to N in those last few legs of the tour. I think Ireland especially shifted something and he realized not just how much N meant to him but, very importantly, how much he meant to N.

2) How much N would care about A’s presence. I think N must have played it very cool about A during the tour. Either didn’t really acknowledge her or brought her up in a casual way to show she was unbothered. But I think the sequence of Brazil, Toronto, and especially Ireland hit N hard and she became emotionally invested in (and available to?) L in a way that she hadn’t let herself be before. I’m not sure she said anything to him, but I think they could both feel it. A’s presence at the prem ended up feeling like a slap in the face to N in a way that L did not anticipate. 

I think L initially thought that having A at the premiere would be a confidence boost, but having her there backfired. He didn’t realize how awkward and embarrassed he would feel by A’s presence. When it’s just L and A  or when they’re with R and S, L doesn’t feel as self-conscious about things like A’s age, her SM antics, her unseriousness. But when he, N, and A are all in the same space, the silliness of his relationship with A and the differences between N and A really hits him. Frankly (and I don’t say this to be cruel to A), I think he feels mortified about N witnessing his relationship with A up close and personal. So I think what we’re witnessing at the red carpet and in the pap pics is a man who committed to a plan (inviting A and setting up the pics) at a time when he felt a) insecure in his connection with N, 2) unaware of how much N cared about him, and 3) unaware of how much he would care about N’s opinion of him (sorry, that’s convoluted). We know he is not a decisive person, so he let this nightmare scenario play out and is now living with the consequences of his passivity. 

That is ALL TO SAY: I think it’s possible to believe that L was involved with the pap pics AND that he cares about N/didn’t want to hurt her/is totally in love with her. Anyone else out there who feels like it’s possible to hold these two truths in your head at once?

so this is more of a take I saw floating around in the wake of it all

curious to see how it lands with y'all now

[lesbianpepsi]

Hi can you write about taking care of Sam when she sick and just fluff

hello honey, of course i can write a lil sick fic, especially if it's for Sam

I adore you, can't you see you're meant for me?

Pairing: Sam Carpenter x Fem!reader

Request: Taking care of Sam whiles she's sick

Words: 1.863k

Warnings: sam having the cold? bad writing

—————————————————————

"I can't come over, I'm sick." Sam grumbled through the phone along with a few coughs.

You giggled at her words. "Boo, you whore." You replied thinking Sam was only trying to quote the iconic line from the iconic film, Mean Girls.

More harsh coughs were heard through the phone which slightly alarmed you since- no offence to your girlfriend- she wasn't the best at acting.

"What? Why are you calling me a whore?" Your eyes widened as you noticed Sam was in fact not quoting Mean Girls. "Wait, you're actually sick?"

"Why else would I say I'm sick?" The nasally sounding Carpenter sister questioned sounding confused.

"Oh shit I'm so sorry, Sam. I thought you were- you know what never mind. I'm coming over now." You said briskly as you put the call on speaker mode, rushing to put your converses on.

"You don't have to come over, it's fine." Sam said to which you shook your head at, as if she could see you. "I'll be over in ten." You told her as you finished tying your shoes, running over to grab your phone, wallet and keys before walking out of the door.

"You live thirty minutes away."

"I'll be there in ten."

—————————————————————

You somehow managed to arrive at Sam's and Tara's apartment in ten minutes and with a bag full of items.

Knocking on the door three times to announce your arrival you opened the door and walked in.

Tara was sat on the couch with the Babadook playing on the Tv, she turned her head to look at you, giving you a smile. You gave Tara a little wave with your free hand as you swiftly closed the door.

"Hey Y/n, Sam's in her room." She told you to which you smiled appreciatively at. "Hey Tara. How've you been?" You asked as you walked over to stand behind the couch, looking down at Tara.

She shrugged her shoulders weakly. "Alright, thanks for asking. I'm feeling much better than I was a few days ago."

"You were sick too?" You asked her. She nodded her head. "Unfortunately. Mindy had a bad cold and she gave it to me, and every time I get sick Sam also gets sick. So now she's rotting away in her bed."

You chucked at the thought of Mindy passing her cold to everyone in the group, thankfully you hadn't gotten it yet.

"Sibling connection." You teased before you glanced towards Sam's door. Tara giggled nodding her head, it was truly an annoying connection.

You began to walk over to Sam's room before you abruptly stopped and shoved your hand into the bag, pulling out a bottle of Cherry Coke and a small box of Nerds as you turned back to look at Tara.

"I almost forgot." You said making Tara turn to look back at you. Her eyes glanced at your hands and her eyes widened with excitement. You tossed over the drink and sweets that Tara horribly failed to catch.

"Thank you!" She yelled out in a sing song voice already opening the Nerds to get a handful. You laughed as you continued your original plan to walk towards Sam's door.

You gave it a gentle knock before walking inside. The room was utterly void of any light other than some of the light peeking through her curtains.

"Sammy, you alive?" You joked lightly as you walked over to the curtained window, pulling them apart only a bit to allow more light inside so you could actually see your girlfriend.

Sam grumbled as she shuffled around in her bed. "Barley." She said in a raspy nasally voice that made you sigh, she sounded really sick.

Kicking off your shoes you moved to sit by Sam on the bed. The sick girl turned away from you hiding her face in the pillows.

"I don't want you also getting sick." She mumbled as she let out a heavy breath. You pushed yourself closer to Sam as you placed the bag on your lap, searching through it for specific items.

"Well I'm here now and I'm not leaving until you're back to your non-sick self." Sam grudgingly rolled over with her face landing softly against your elbow.

You shuffled further down until Sam could lay her head on your shoulder. Turning your head to look at her you noticed she looked really ill.

Darker bags than usual were laying under her eyes, the end of her nose and the skin around her nose red from having to use a tissue so often, she was also boiling. Even through your hoodie you could feel the heat radiating off of Sam.

"Oh baby." You whispered with sympathy, Sam groaned next to you. "Don't pity me."

You rolled your eyes at her stubbornness. From the bag you pulled out a myriad of items: a packet of Ibuprofen, a box including sachets of cinnamon tea (Sam's favourite), a packet of tissues, a bottle of cold water and of course some soup.

"Have you taken any pills today?" You asked her to which Sam shook her head 'no'. You passed over the pack of Ibuprofen along with the bottle of water. "Take two now and then in a few hours if you've still got sore thighs you can have another two."

"How'd you even know my thighs hurt?" Sam asked pulling away from you to sit up on the bed, her back now against the headboard.

You copied her movement as you watched her take out two pills from the packet.

"Every time you're sick your thighs always hurt, I remember you telling me." You said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Sam's eyes gazed at you as she popped the pills in her mouth before taking a large sip of the water. She swallowed it after a few seconds and kept the bottle on the bedside table.

She coughed once as she nodded her head, giving you a smile. "Thank you." You smiled sweetly at her as you grabbed her hand, interlocking your fingers with a gentle squeeze.

"How about I go make you some soup and some cinnamon tea then we can watch anything you want." You suggested as you picked up the tomato soup can with your free hand, a bit basic but it was Sam's favourite.

She nodded her head slowly at your words, smiling weakly. "Yes please." She croaked out in a nasally voice.

You gave a curt nod before getting out of the bed, Sam let out a low groan as you dropped your interlocked hands.

"I'll be quick, you pick a show or movie while I make you your soup okay?" You said as you manoeuvred your hoodie off your body, dropping it in the floor.

"Fine." Sam exaggerated. You smiled at her once more before grabbing the box full of sachets and tin once again before leaving the room.

It didn't take long until you were back by Sam's side with a bowl of tomato soup, a small plate of toast and one cinnamon tea for Sam.

(While you were gone Sam had put on your hoodie which made your heart soar at the sight)

"You're the best." Sam thanked as she took the bowl from your hands, taking a small spoonful to which me moaned in satisfaction at the taste.

You beamed with pride as you moved closer to Sam's side until your shoulders and thighs were touching.

"Did you choose what you want to watch?" You asked her as you stole a toast off the plate on her lap. "Don't you dare get crumbs in my bed." Sam threatened as she turned to give you a serious look.

You sighed leaving the bed to stand up as you ate your toast. "What movie or show?" You repeated with a mouthful of toast.

"What's that tv show you keep watching when I'm at yours?" Sam questioned back as she took another spoonful of the soup.

"Brooklyn Nine Nine?"

"No I don't think so."

"Schitts Creek?" You guessed again.

Sam shook her head 'no.' "Derry Girls?" You asked in a more hopeful tone as you took one final bite of your toast.

"No, it's not a sitcom."

Dusting off the crumbs on your shirt you went to sit next to Sam again. "The End Of The Fucking World? Hannibal?" You tried again.

"Is the main character a Russian blonde woman?"

Your eyes widened as you finally figured out what show Sam was talking about. "Killing Eve?"

"Killing Eve, that's the name. Yeah Killing Eve." Sam confirmed as she took her own slice of toast dipping it into the soup. You grinned with satisfaction as you grabbed the TV remote, logging into Netflix to find Killing Eve.

"You know if you just said that in the beginning I would've guessed it a lot faster." Sam rolled her eyes as she took a bite of the toast.

As the opening scene to the first episode played Sam had enough of her food for now and placed them on top of the bed side table. Replacing the bowl and plate with her cup of tea.

You felt Sam move closer to you as she leaned her head on your shoulder, one hand holding the hot cup of tea and the other laying on your leg.

Wrapping an around her waist Sam relaxed even further into the touch. Sam was usually the one wrapping an arm around you, or usually being the big spoon, but when she's sick she settles for allowing you to be the bigger spoon.

"You're the best girlfriend ever." Sam said as she took another slow sip of her cinnamon tea, the smell wavered into your nose.

You chuckled at the compliment. "I know right." Sam rolled her eyes playfully as she took another careful sip of her tea.

"I take back my statement." She threatens with seriousness, you gasped dramatically as you placed a hand on your chest. "Oh how you wound me, my love." You say playing into the dramatics.

Sam laughed in a dry tone which still managed to make your heart skip a beat at the sound.

"Fine I'll take it back, just because I love you."

"I knew our love would conquer all."

The two of you stayed in comfortable silence till the end of the first episode of Killing Eve.

Sam had finished her tea and was fully cuddling into you at that point, making you pass her the bottle of water every now and again.

As you pressed play for the next episode Sam spoke up. "Thank you for coming over and taking care of me."

You smiled warmly as you kissed Sam's forehead, the skin cooled down a bit compared to how hot it was earlier.

"It's my duty as your girlfriend, Sam. You don't need to thank me." You reassured her as she let out a hum.

"Still, thank you." She said as you felt her press a featherlight kiss to your neck. You beamed with love at the contact, your smile somehow widening.

"I love you so much, Sammy."

Sam rolled her eyes at the nickname as a smile of her own played on her lips. "I love you so much more, Y/n."

[lotanxiety]

You’re not alone

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: Dean and Sam notice you aren’t taking good care of yourself and they are worried about you. Dean talks you through it and offers support.

Warnings: mentions of ED, SH, and depression, this has some seriously heavy shit so if this triggers you PLS don’t read, fluff with dean

——————————————————

You have lived in the bunker with the boys for 3 years. Lately, your mental health has been really bad, but you were trying to hide it from Sam and Dean. With everything they dealt with on a daily basis, the last thing you wanted them to worry about was you.

It all started 4 months ago when you started having nightmares and flashbacks of the times you almost died. You were pretty sure you had PTSD, but with your lifestyle, therapy wasn’t really an option. You grew up with abusive parents which didn’t help with the accumulating trauma. The body keeps score and it seemed to all be catching up with you now. First, it was the nightmares, then the dissociating. The only times you felt alive were when you would fight monsters which led to your newest bad habit.

Whenever you didn’t feel real or got angry with yourself for whatever reason, you would take it out on your hips. It was something you could control. It reminded you that you’re real and it’s served as a punishment when you felt you deserved it. Seeing the red lines across your hips made you happy when everything else seemed grey.

As if it couldn’t get any worse, it was increasingly more difficult to get out of bed each morning. You would forget basic human necessities like eating, drinking, or bathing. You were able to hide your struggles before, but now it’s becoming noticeable. On the days the boys were home, you would fake it the best you could so they wouldn’t pick up on anything wrong, but not anymore. Maybe you want someone to notice. Maybe you finally want to be saved and cared for the way you save others.

———————-

*around noon*

“Hey, have you seen Y/N?” Dean asked Sam walking into the kitchen.

“No, I haven’t seen her all day.” Sam said. “Have you noticed.. she seems a little quiet lately. I also noticed she’s been having more nightmares lately.”

“I noticed that too, I can hear her scream out sometimes. I mean we all get nightmares, but these seem bad. Have you not talked to her about it at all?” Dean questioned.

“No, I thought you would’ve mentioned it.” Sam said.

“Dude, she’s obviously going through something and neither of us have checked up on her? Way to go.” Dean scoffed as he headed in the direction of your room.

—————————

You were laying on your bed, staring at the wall thinking of all the ways you have messed up lately. The last hunt you were out on, you made a mistake that almost got Sammy killed. Now, you opt to stay back and reference the lore. You replayed every mistake over and over in your head. Suddenly a knock interrupts your ‘greatest hits’.

You clear your throat, “um, who is it?” you ask.

“It’s Dean, can i come in.”

You look around to the mess of your room, random items taking up space on your bed with you. Suddenly, you become embarrassed and ashamed. “I- uh, do you need something?” You shout to the man on the other side of the door.

“I haven’t seen you all day, I just wanted to check up on you. Are you feeling okay?” Dean asks with concern.

*coughing loudly* “No I think I’ve come down with something, you should stay away.” You say, trying to sound sickly.

“Oh, ok. I can bring you some soup if you like” Dean asks, knowing you’re lying but trying to get through to you.

“I’m not hungry, thanks though” You say, pushing any kind of help away. You didn’t understand why you do this. You want help but then it comes and you resist at all costs. Maybe because this mess you’re feeling is comfortable, familiar. You’ve always been messed up, but now it’s just manifesting on the outside. When it was bottled up, it was easy to hide from everyone, but this is much harder and every lie you tell drains you more and more.

“You need to eat” Dean contested.

“I said no, now can you please go” The words felt like knives being thrown at the closed door. You didn’t mean to be so aggressive, but Deans pushing set off a nerve. Immediately you felt bad, but knew you couldn’t look at his face so you sat still in your bed as you heard hushed footsteps fade away. Feeling hot tears burn in your eyes, you walked over to your bathroom, and grabbed your razor. Anger towards yourself coursed through your veins, into your hands, as you unleashed hell onto your body. Saying to yourself, “You deserve this for being mean to Dean, he was just trying to be nice. He doesn’t deserve that. What’s wrong with you, etc.”

When you’re satisfied, your hips are stained red. You clean up and go back to laying in your bed, as you cry yourself to sleep.

——————-

That evening

“I don’t know Sammy, I think there’s something really wrong. Earlier- the way she spoke to me. It wasn’t her. I need to talk to her, to see her face, but she keeps pushing me away. I don’t know what to do. I’m worried… I’m worried it’s worse than just nightmares.” Dean confides to his brother.

“Yeah, I’m worried too. Maybe we can set up a movie night in the Dean cave and coax her out of her room. I think having some quality time, not worried about monsters could help.” Sam suggested.

“Okay, yeah. You run to the store and get some supplies and I’ll break out blankets and pillows. Meet back here in 30.” Dean says hopeful. He hated knowing that you were upset, but he wanted this to help so badly. He worked hard at getting his Dean cave set up perfectly. He even made a blanket fort. Once Sam and Dean finished setting everything up, the came to knock on your door.

You had just woken up from your restless nap. Unfortunately, the day wasn’t even over so you were back to laying in misery. You heard another knock on your door.

“Hey uh, we need your help in the Dean cave” Dean said from behind the door, you could almost hear the smile in his voice even though you couldn’t see him. While most other times you would decline, your curiosity got the best of you.

“Uhh okay, let me use the bathroom and I’ll be right there.” You said, getting up from your bed, ignoring the terrible headache. It stemmed from a combination of lack of food, water, good sleep, and crying so much. You looked in the mirror, repulsed by the face staring back at you, so you got to work making yourself as presentable as possible. After a much need brush through your hair (and teeth), a change of clothes, and some light makeup, you felt okay enough to make your public appearance. You left your bedroom, quickly shutting the door behind you to hide the mess, and headed towards the Dean cave.

When Dean and Sam laid their eyes on you for the first time in days, their mouths dropped. You looked awful. Bags under your eyes and barely skin and bone. You were always skinny, but this- this was bad. Both of the brothers concern immediately sky rocketed, but being as smart as they are, they knew to play it off. They knew if they outright said anything, you’d get defensive and shut down. So they quickly glanced at each other and greeted you like any other day. You were too busy looking at the scene in front of you to notice the boys faces.

“What- what is all this” you say surveying the room in awe.

“We thought you could use a little pick me up movie night.” Sam said with a soft smile on his face. Dean turned away from you to face the tv. It was too hard to look at you. He blamed himself for not checking on you sooner. For not immediately knowing there was something deeper going on. The cases had distracted him from the problem right under his nose and he was so angry at himself. You instantly noticed the change in his demeanor, making you uneasy. You thought he was still mad at you for the way you spoke to him earlier in the day. You made a mental note to apologize later. Sam opened up the blanket to let you sit beside him and so you did. In front of you, there was a whole display of food. Burgers, fries, popcorn, candy, you name it. The sight instantly made you nauseous.

You thought that you didn’t deserve food. Your mind = your greatest enemy. You pretended not to notice the food and encouraged them to start the movie. It was Alice In Wonderland- your favorite childhood movie you let slip one night with Dean after a beer too many. You glance across Sam to Dean who is staring at the TV but not actually watching. Sam nudges some fries in your direction, to which you shake your head.

“No thanks” you whisper over the beginning scene of the movie.

“Cmon Y/N, you haven’t eaten all day.” Sam said.

“Oh no, I had some granola bars in my room. I’ve been snacking on those-“ You lied.

“No you haven’t” Dean said finally speaking to you.

“What-“ you say looking at him confused, trying to play this off quickly.

“I’m not sure you’ve eaten anything in days” Dean starts.

“Dean-“ Sam interjects, trying to keep his brother from pushing you away.

“No, Sammy. She’s sick. Look at her.” Dean states.

Immediately, tears well up in your eyes. You knew you didn’t look your best but hearing Dean say that. It was too much. You wanted to head straight to your room to cut again, but Dean wasn’t finished talking.

“Y/N, I can’t walk on eggshells about this- you look terrible. What is going on?” Dean says in a much softer tone than before, his anger fading into worry.

“Nothings… going on.” you say.

“That’s not true and we all know it, can you just talk to us?” Sam asks.

Suddenly, that defense mechanism hits you strong and you attack the boys you love more than anything. You can’t help it. “I SAID I’M FINE. WOULD YOU BOTH JUST LEAVE ME ALONE AND GO BACK TO WORRYING ABOUT MONSTERS OR WHATEVER” you shout, exiting the room and heading straight for your bedroom.

You close the door behind you, still crying. The scene that just played out was one of your worst nightmares and partially why you have started staying locked in your room. You beeline for the bathroom to pick up the razor for a second time that day. You roll down your pants to the hidden canvas. Right before you can move, Dean bursts through your door.

You both freeze. Time stops for a couple seconds. Every mirage and illusion you’ve built over the past few months is shattered. The ugly, dirty truth is exposed. Your walls crumble to the ground. You refuse to lift your eyes from the ground as he approaches you. He takes the razor from your hands without saying a word and throws it to the other side of the bathroom and grabs you into his arms. You both crash to the floor, as you sob into chest. Dean hold you patiently while you let it all out. Everything you’ve been holding inside. There are a million thoughts going through Dean’s head, questions he has, but his main objective is just to be there for you. You needed him, and he wasn’t there. All the warning signs, ignored. He secretly blamed himself for letting it get this bad.

You both sit in the floor of your bathroom for a while. Your sobs slowly turned into quiet hiccups for air. You nervously lifted off of his chest, anxiously awaiting the conversation to follow the events that have just transpired. You finally make eye contact with Dean, his eyes are glassy and red.

“I’m sorry Y/N” Dean said barely above a whisper dragging his hand over your hair to brush it out of your tear soaked face.

You open and close your mouth, not expecting his response. “What are you sorry for?” you ask confused.

“I- I wasn’t there for you. I mean I knew something was off, but- but this. This is all my fault.” Dean says moving his hand to hold your cheek, a singular tear falling down his right cheek.

“No, no this isn’t your fault at all. I- I don’t know what to say.” You say, feeling the weight of the situation.

“You don’t have to say anything. We are going to get you some help. You’re not alone in this. You have Sam. You have me. This- this work is hard and I know you’ve had it rough, but you can and will get through this.” Dean says, as more tears begin to fall from your eyes, though you thought you couldn’t cry anymore.

“I need you to get better. I need my Y/N. Can you do that for me?” Dean asks, gently stroking your cheek and wiping the tears as they fall. You nod.

That night, the three of you work on tidying up your room. Dean filled Sam in privately and he wanted to help you in anyway he could. You guys went back to the Dean cave after your room was clean, and ate dinner. Dean even drank water with you instead of his normal beer so you would be more inclined to drink it.

Finally, it was time for bed. Dean walked to your room with you. “I wish you would’ve told me what has been going on with you, but I’m sorry if I made you feel like you couldn’t” Dean said.

“You didn’t- I just didn’t want you to worry about me when you’ve got a whole world and billions of people to worry about.” You say in response.

“I will always worry about you first. I care about you Y/N. I am here for you no matter what.” Dean says firmly, pulling you in for a hug. His chin rests on your head as you two stand in an embrace mid hallway.

“Dean, could you maybe- um stay with me tonight?” You ask.

“Of course”

Dean grabs your hand and pulls you towards your bed. He strips down to his boxers and climbs in, holding a spot next to him for you. You curl up next to him, feeling the heat radiate off his body, comforting you. “Thank you” you whisper as you quickly drift off into a much needed, nightmare free, deep sleep. Dean leans over to kiss your head as he whispers, “I love you Y/N”.

[sunthyme]

Ah... welcome to another instalment of my headcanons. I lowkey lied again but I think my prefect will be the last of the headcanons to come out. Tyty for all the love, as always, and now...

🪶The NRC Staff🪶

Trying to find characters I hadn't already twisted for my student ocs to make my staff ones was such a pain 😭😭😭 but here they are!!

🐦‍⬛Dire Crowley🐦‍⬛

(he/it) - Bisexual

The most USELESS HEADMASTER EVER!!! God, I know his SSR card looks great but I won't pull for it istg this bitch. We could have had Sam or Crewel but nooooo...

- I wanted him to look a bit older but since we don't know his age, I didn't push it too much. No spoilers for book 7 but I assume he's probably fae or smth idk.

- You'll notice I honestly didn't change much about the staff in general but I do like most of their design already. Kept his sclera dark cause it looked cool and made the gold eyes pop.

- He talks in a weird mix of old language that literally no one uses, like hella old-fashioned, and poorly used teen lingo. He's trying... A for effort, ig.

- His house and office are super cluttered with a ton of stuff he's found throughout the years but knows exactly where things are. His memory's actually incredibly good, he's just lazy. He likes to collect teaspoons.

- Later in the story, when he starts kinda view the prefect as his kid of sorts, it starts dropping off little trinkets at Ramshackle. Various things from old photos to books with old annotations to pretty rocks. He just wants the prefect to make the dorm 'more homey'.

- I'll get into this more with my prefect design but when Crowley attended NRC (in my headcanon idk if he actually did), he was a Ramshackle student. As such, my MC is using his old uniform as he didn't have any extra ones.

- He really likes cats but they just fcuking hate him. Lucius hisses everything he see Crowley. This is why he cries himself to sleep.

Enough of my dead-beat dad, onto the good dad!

🐕Divus Crewel🐕

(he/they) Transmasc - Panasexual

The good father-figure!! I love Crewel. Also, ignore me misspelling his name in the big one, I thought it had two 'l's...

- He is my Mexican father. Idk they give like simultaneously abuelita and Mexican mom vibes and I am so here for it. (Apparently also Jewish grandma vibes according to @thearchiveofalexandria but I wouldn't know lol).

- I also think he'd be older, like late 40s/early 50s but because of those anti-ageing Mexican genes, they look like 30. (Literally, my mom gets mistaken for being that young, she's in her 50s) Gave him some gray hair at the back but don't be fooled, that's just from putting up with Crowley's bullshit. The shit that goes down in-game for sure results in a couple grey hairs for poor Crewel.

- Is the father figure I never knew I needed, well, my prefect anyway. I know my MC would go to him for anything ranging from 'Crowley's threatening to cut off my water supply!' to 'Can you help me make a Halloween costume?' and his ass always helps. Stan Papa Crewel.

Oh god, this next one was HELL ON EARTH I hate drawing masculine men...

🏈Ashton Vargas🏈

(he/him) - Heterosexual

God, I hate Vargas' og design. The worst part is it does it's job, I couldn't find much to change. Also, didn't even know he had a first name lmaooo.

- I gave him more of a beard because it looked so fcuking bad without it ong 😭😭😭 I hated this... that's pretty much all I did.

- That being said, I do think Vargas wants the best for his students. Wait. Dad-bod Vargas. Guys, I just had an epiphany.

- He's got a wife, kids in like elementary school, and like two dogs idk. I feel like he's older thirties. He's giving total family man and likes to cheer on his students like they're his kids too.

- I feel like he's got mad ADHD and it's one of the reasons he became a gym teacher, just to be constantly moving and doing stuff.

My opinion of Vargas has increased while writing this. Onto my funky uncle...

🏷️Sam Cecil🏷️

(he/they/it) Genderqueer - Asexual Aromantic

I LOVE SAM!!📢📢

- They're like mid-twenties, I don't know if they went to college but if they did, they were a business major. I gave him a last name too, idk the fact that he didn't have one made me mad. Cecil cause Dr. Facilier had a daughter named Cecilia apparently.

- I tossed in a couple more piercings and I love the idea that he has tattoos too.

- He's like the fun uncle that occasionally sponsor your weird ideas. Wanna make cookies at 3am? His store's still open. Need some Nerf guns? He's got 'em. If he says it's in stock, he will literally have anything. Don't ask, he won't answer you anyway.

- Also has crazy good like and low-key knows the future but typically drops hints in a joking manner. He's also very good at communing with the dead, sales for sessions are discounted in October.

- Incredibly rich. Probably canon given his store branches and the crazy shit he has in his shop but I felt the need to reaffirm it.

- Also supplies Ramshackle with snacks and groceries. My MC works at its shop part time in return but I firmly believe that it'd refuse to let the MC starve.

Now for the gramps,

📚Mozus Trein📚

(he/him) Transmasc - Heterosexual

- Trans old man, idk. He is to me. Also, he's both the history and literature teacher.

- Also changed pretty much nothing lol, he's just an old trans man whose sick of Crowley's bullshit (you'll notice a running theme).

- All the grandpa memes and stereotypes are so true for him. His drinks tea every afternoon, plays chess with Crewel (that's canon btw), and squints whenever you try to show him something, especially on a phone.

- He uses a flip phone mobile-y but his house has a rotary one. His daughters keep telling him to replace it but he refuses, saying modern one are too complicated. His daughters also went to Royal Blade as he originally worked there before recently transferring to NRC.

- Hates pumpkin-flavoured anything so doesn't care much for fall. Winter is his favourite season though as he loves sitting with Lucius by the window on snowy days and reading. Very academiacore, gramps.

- He totally advocated for NRC to allow students to use preferred names.

Onto the ocs!!

🪐Mèng yáo Yuan🪐

(she/they/it) Agender - Biromantic Demisexual

- First up is Mèng yáo, twisted from the Horned King from The Black Cauldron. Never seen it personally but @thearchiveofalexandria has and recommended I use its villain.

- She's Chinese and a fae of sorts so she's likely quite old, though she looks in her twenties.

- She's the astrology and philosophy teacher because I thought it would make for a good course since it's mentioned in passing in Book 4.

- She's also skilled in potionology and she and Crewel test out potions for Crewel to teach in class. She is intrigued by the concept of immortality but it's more of a passive study for her.

- She's really bad at getting jokes, though she tries. She's generally not too familiar with modern human concepts but does her best to learn.

Finally,

💎Kore Gorgon💎

(she/her) - Sapphic

- Kore is based on Madame Medusa from The Rescuers, which, fair warning, I ALSO haven't seen. I really needed villains though lol. I read the wiki page and prayed tbh.

- She's around her mid-fifties and is the Math and Physics teacher. She works to integrate known magical physics with standard math and physics and teaches such.

- Her wife is named Crystal (based on an inspo character for Madame Medusa) and they're Kyra's adoptive parents. This is a small nod to Madame Medusa having two pet crocodiles. Kyra kept her parent's names as a sort of way to remember them but likes her adoptive moms a lot too.

- Kore's name is a reference to another name for Persephone and is associated with not only 'the maiden' with the underworld as well.

- She loves shiny things and adores being dressed to the nines all the time. She has a small collect of pretty rocks and tends to decorate her classroom with various trinkets.

- She and Crewel get along super well as their personalities are rather similar. (Fun fact: Madame Medusa not only was heavily inspired by Cruella De Vil, but also served as an origin for Ursula's design.)

- She has bipolar disorder and does her best to work around it, sometimes having pre-recorded lectures if she's not able to be in person.

I'll be sharing my designs for some side and family characters tomorrow so stay tuned! Love y'all!🩷🩷🩷

[n0vabug]

I'm so sorry

You get in a fight with same

This Contains: Fights scenes, blood, gore, angst, fluff, mentions of depression and mental illnesses, and more, if any of these make you uncomfortable, I recommend that you do NOT read this!! Also if I write in bold in the story, that means ghostface is talking. Words: 1573

Y/N'S POV "PLEASE DO NOT LEAVE SAM, WE JUST MOVED HERE AND BECAME FRIENDS WITH ANIKA AND ETHAN AND QUINN, PLEASE DO NOT LEAVE ME SAM, BY LEAVING NEW YORK, YOURE LEAVING ME, TARA, CHAD, MINDY, AND EVERYONE ELSE." Tears were forming in my eyes as I spoke, I was upset, I knew that I shouldn't have yelled but I did anyways. She was trying to leave again, but this time, I didn't want to leave, I wasn't going to leave and I told her that, she promised no matter what happened, we wouldn't leave again, I can't believe her.

"I HAVE TO YOU DONT GET IT, I DONT WANT TO DEAL WITH THIS ALL OVER AGAIN, I JUST CANT Y/N, YOU COULD COME WITH ME." Sam said, I honestly felt bad for her but why couldn't she just ignore it, I honestly was mad, but sad?? Idk I just wasn't happy about this, I also hate yelling and fighting, which made me feel even worse.

"HOW DO WE EVEN KNOW THIS HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH US, WE HAVE NO IDEA, ITS HALLOWEEN, PEOPLE ARE GONNA DRESS UP AS GHOSTFACE, ESPECIALLY SERIAL KILLERS, PLEASE DONT LEAVE SAM, I CANT LIVE WITHOUT YOU." Warm tears were streaming down my face as I spoke, my voice broke mid sentence and I was trying so hard not to just completely break down.

"Y/N, YOU DONT EVEN UNDERSTAND THAT WE COULD DIE BECAUSE OF THIS, YOURE TOO BUSY BEING DEPRESSED ZONING OUT ALL THE TIME TO EVEN NOT....ice, shit i'm so sorry I swear I didn't mean it." She paused when saying notice, she realized she messed up by saying that. But did she just bring up my fucking mental illnesses, wtf. The warm tears stopped as I looked at her with betrayal and sadness in my eyes, why would she fucking bring that up. I think she quickly noticed what she said too because she looked at me with pure regret and sadness.

"Get out sam." I didn't even hesitate to say that, I truly loved her and didn't want her to leave NY, but I needed her to leave my apartment, I couldn't be around her at the moment. "No, wait, I'm sor-" "GET THE FUCK OUT SAM." I know it was wrong of me to yell, again, but it worked because she walked out as quickly as she could. The second she slammed the door, warms tears were pouring out of my eyes again and I couldn't breath, I love my girlfriend so much, but why would she say that, I know she didn't mean it, but still. I walked out of the living room, and walked into my room, trying to calm myself down.

After 5 minutes, I get a call from an unknown number, I quickly try to calm myself so I sound like I wasn't just crying, so I pick up. "Hello?" I said "Hello Y/n" The voice is a bit familiar, too familiar, and not the good type. "Who is this?" I quickly asked. "Are you a little upset Y/n, poor sam, she was only trying to protect herself from getting killed, she didn't want to deal with this a second time, but you took it the wrong way. Shut her out. Didn't even give her a chance to apologize, now poor sam, she's out on her own, what if she gets butchered all because of you, y/n." Shit. Shit. Shit.

Next thing I know I'm running out of my room, towards the door. I can't let Sam die, she's one of the few people who stayed after finding out about my past and my problems. I had to get to her.

Next thing I know, a cold metal blade was pressed into my thigh, with a guy in a black costume and white mask. I screamed as blood dripped down my thigh and bled through my jeans. I then felt the metal enter my stomach 3 times, then get twisted, I screamed as loud as I could, hoping someone would hear me. "Any last words, Y/n" "Is sam ok?" I struggled to speak but managed to get those words out, I truly needed to know if Sam was okay. I needed her to be okay. The guy in the mask then stabbed me in the shoulder one last time. My eyes felt heavy and fluttered close until all I saw was darkness...

SAM'S POV I left the apartment, tears streaming down my face. I didn't mean it. I love her more than anything, and I did not mean what I said. She is the greatest person I know, even if she did have some problems, but so did I, and we were overcoming our problems together, she didn't leave me even after she found out about Billy, I didn't even think about leaving her after finding out about her mental illnesses, so after we moved to NY, I could tell she was happier and getting better, and I know me leaving, broke her heart, I could see the sadness in her eyes and the tears streaming down her face during the argument. I had to go back.

I started walking back towards her apartment and as I did, I picked up my phone trying to call her, even after arguments that we had, she always answered my calls, she was really quick at answering because she always had her phone on her at all times, but this time, she didn't pick up. So I called again. no answer. I was starting to worry, maybe she was just really mad and still wanted to answer, but I was still worried. I started walking quicker until it turned into me running. I had the key to my girlfriend's apartment since she had a spare, and since I practically lived there. I unlocked the door. "Y/n?" I look around until I see something that I wish was a dream. Her lifeless body. In a pool of red liquid. "Y/n?" Tears formed in my eyes. "Y/N PLEASE WAKE UP!" I called 911, as I talked on the phone, I broke down, tears streaming down my face. This is all my fault.

I tried putting pressure on her wounds, but the bleeding didn't stop and the paramedics were taking to long. I picked her up, her cold lifeless body in my arms, her apartment was on the fifth floor, I had to run down the stairs with her, as I ran down the stairs I yelled for help. "HELP" "SOMEONE PLEASE HELP!!" I kept saying, until I reached the ground floor, where I met with the paramedics.

They put her onto a stretcher, bandaged her wounds as much as possible, and then put her into the ambulance. I got in the ambulance with her, and held her cold but soft hand the whole way there. I felt terrible, I never meant for any of this to happen.

We arrived at the hospital and they took her in to get stitches since her wounds were deep, so I had to sit in the waiting room until they called my name. After about 45 minutes I got called to the back, "Samantha Carpenter, Y/n L/n is out of surgery, she isn't awake but if you want, you can go wait in her room until she is." "Thank you, I'll go wait with her, what's her room number." I'm glad she was alive, I still feel terrible, all I felt was guilt, if I didn't argue with her and if I just chose to stay in NY, maybe none of this would have happened. "314." Said the lady at the front desk, I walked to room 314, my footsteps grew quicker within each step I took.

I finally reached her room, I opened the door, and pulled a chair next to her bed. She was still asleep, I hated seeing her like this, I just can't help but think this is all my fault. I sat beside her bed, with my head down and one hand on the bed. After a few minutes, I felt a warm and soft touch on top of my hand, I look up, her beautiful y/e/c (your eye color), eyes were looking directly at me, while she was smiling.

"Omg, Y/n, thank god you're okay, I was so worried, I thought you weren't gonna make it, listen I'm so sorry, I never meant for any of this to happen, this is all my fault, I never wanted to leave NY, and especially leave you, I don't think I will leave NY now because I need to keep you safe, but I shouldn't have argued or even yelled, and I feel especially terrible for bringing up the mental health thing, I didn't mean it I swear, I promise you that I never meant to hurt you, I'm so sorry, ple-" I was ranting until I felt her soft lips press against mine, we kissed until we both ran out of breath. "I forgive you sam, I know you didn't mean it, I love you so much" She pulled me into a kiss again, this time a quicker one. "I love you more, I'm never leaving you again." I said, before I hugged her, I hugged her tighter than I ever have before, but also tried avoiding her injuries while hugging her, I love her to the stars and beyond.

A/N I wrote this whole thing while being half a sleep, and really distracted because my bsf was over while I wrote this and I kept pausing in the middle so we could talk to each other. I can't really tell if I like this or not, I don't 100% love the little fight scene at the beginning but idk, there are things that I could fix with both of them. Idk but let me know if you want anymore, also thank you to whoever reads these because I think these are shitty a lot of time and seeing that people actually read this makes me happy so thank you so much!! <3

UPDATE: I HATE THIS SM, THE FIGHT SCENE IS LOWKEY STUPID BC I DON'T THINK SAM WOULD SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT, BUT HERE IS ANOTHER ONE FROM WATTPAD THAT WAS MADE IN MAY😭😭

[totothewolff]

Season of Love (9/?) [New chapter]

+18 | Toto x reader fem!teamprincipal, romance, comedy, and some good drama.

Summary: One night on a pier in Monaco, while admiring the sea under the night skies, you tell Toto: "I came to the conclusion that love is simply not meant for me." That's the answer to a question you have been asking yourself for the longest time. But what if he proved you wrong? Author's note: This is a multichapter Toto Wolff x team principal reader fic set along a season of F1. It's a very immersive story full of drivers, team dynamics, races, mystery, and smut. You just bought the Williams team, but nobody really knows who you truly are.

< Previous chapter | Masterlist | Next chapter >

The Sebaffäre Arc Chapter 9: Laps of Truth.

Netherlands

To no one's surprise, you don't show up at Zandvoort either.

Seb notices Charles worrying about you and your well-being, looking a bit stressed, whispering about your status with Sam at the opportunity given as they cross paths on the pitlane near where Sebastian is.

Leclerc isn't acting that discreetly or quietly, but Seb is sure he believes no one around them gets what they two are talking about.

Seb hears Sam gossiping with him about something he already knows by now as he fixes his balaclava. Vettel fights his urge to step into the conversation to tell Charles you are more than all right, just busy with the raid you guys are preparing on Lenkov.

Anyway, he feels like a terrible teammate and a worst friend for not reassuring Charles everything is fine. But lately, he can't fight the feelings he has developed for you.

Now, his loyalty is on your side.

-

Niki smells the alcohol in Toto's sweat, sitting millimeters away from him at the garage.

"You haven't made up your mind," Niki's words break his trance. Toto looked disassociated with his eyes lost in the monitor showing Sky Sports' live broadcast as the cameraman is inside the Williams garage.

"Pardon?" Toto answers. A shy smile forms on his lips as he tilts his head, turning around to face the old man, an eyebrow already going up.

"About your "situation" with Y/N, or are you waiting for it to consume you completely? Please, don't tell me it's just a coincidence when she disappears you always end up looking like this." He gestures with his hand to Toto's body.

Toto becomes self-conscious about his appearance on the spot.

"I'm with Suzanne," he says, slightly offended.

Niki glances at Toto before adding: "It's not my business, I know, but I worry for you, that's all. I advise you to make up your mind before it drives you crazy or drives us crazy! You have been... well... impossible lately."

Toto nods, now in a bad mood. Nothing different, he has been moody for days. How you affect him is beyond belief; he is a grown-ass man to act like this.

-

Toto takes a quick break to the bathroom to calm down and refreshes his face with water before he stares at himself in the big mirror under the bright lights. Niki is right. He looks like trash.

His eyes look reddish with big purplish eyebags, his hair is messier, and his beard is scruffy and unshaven. Toto looks pale, tired, and sweaty.

He doesn't want to admit he is depressed about losing you because he is still furious at you for hiding that small little detail of you having a husband. Plus his guilt about hiding from you his status with Susie also is killing him.

He leaves out an annoyed groan and feels the need to punch a wall. Yes, he needs to make up his mind.

-

It's race day, and the laps fly by. Seb holds his own, weaving through the traffic with an elegance that keeps his fans on the edge of their seats. However, in the blink of an eye, the flickering lights on his dashboard startle him.

The steering becomes unresponsive. “No, no, no! Come on!” he yells as the car veers sideways, refusing to obey. You watch him on the live broadcast going off track, slowing down on the gravel, bringing out the yellow flags, no collision or harm thank God.

"Shit! He was doing so good!" you let out, more aggravated than you should be.

Millie seizes the opportunity, and with Vettel sidelined, she pushes her car to the limits, showcasing the kind of brilliance that has earned her respect. The engine roars as she takes the lead, the Williams team watching in disbelief at the sudden change of luck, chanting her name inside the garage.

As the race progresses, Hamilton and Lando fight aggressively, inching ever closer. Lap after lap, Millie holds her ground, almost tasting the victory.

With the clock ticking down, Lewis seems determined to contribute to a Mercedes podium finish too. As they cross the line the crowd erupts.

Meanwhile, at the Ferrari garage, Seb's disappointment is palpable, and the frustration of his entire season bursts out. Binnoto reassures him, “We’ll come back stronger. "

"My ass" is an answer that Sebastian holds inside, he feels so done with this team, with this dream of his of driving for them, it's like being trapped in a "never meet your heroes" sort of situation.

-

"Oh man, sorry about how it all went, yikes." you text Seb.

"It was utter shit!" he replies to your message about his DNF, "It was so difficult to drive it. The grip on that car is shit; this entire car has been shit the whole season, I'm pretty sure the next race Ferrari won't be needing me inside that tractor, it does what it pleases by itself. A miracle is what it's needed, I have ended up more times in the gravel than in a podium."

Even through texts he sounds done.

"Although I must admit it made me giggle to watch you leave in that tiny Vespa holding onto that huge guy, clown style," you joke to ease him.

"😂😂😂"

"Emojis now?! Excuse you, Mr. Technologic! Name it, read it, tune it, print it, scan it, send it, fax, rename it"

"I'm a man of the new age, jk. See? I used jk and all!? Can I call you? Who I'm kidding?! I'm still old-fashioned, it takes me forever to write you a reply, remember when the autocorrect used to change almost my entire replies?”

"How could one forget that, it was hilarious! Let's FaceTime better!"

"Face whom?! P.D. I loved that Daft Punk reference"

"A P.D.? What's this? The Regency Era?"

-

Inside the expensive restaurant De Zeeuw, known for its exquisite décor and ambiance, the glow of the candlelights dances across the black table for two in which you are sitting alone, dressed as elegantly and chic as the place is, listening to the soft noise of people chatting that blends with the gentle clinking of their glassware.

A pristine plate of pan-seared duck is resting untouched before you. You glance across your table at the empty seat, that one that would be Toto’s seat, if things had turned out differently, and an overwhelming sense of heartache washes over you.

"You’d love this place, wouldn’t you?" Your voice barely breaks, but the words feel heavy in the air. A tear escapes your eye, and you quickly wipe it away.

You catch sight of the couples nearby, sharing smiles and laughter, and it if feels as a storm brews inside you. "God, I miss you, Toto."

The memories flood your mind.

His laughter echoes through the restaurant, oh, the way he would lean forward with excitement over the menu, his playful banter about you trying new dishes, your knees touching below the table, your hands intertwining, the warmth of his skin on yours, and his beautiful smile just for you.

Everything feels right in your world when you are together.

You lift your glass of red wine, a deep ruby color. "Remember when you tried to impress me with your "knowledge" of fine wine? You mixed up the Bordeaux with a poor choice and I let you, pretending I didn't notice it, that I knew nothing about wine just to see you happy."

The memory brings a smile to your face, but it quickly fades and the wine feels bitter on your tongue as if it carried his absence.

Fighting back tears, you take a deep breath and close your eyes. The music wraps around you like a comforting hug, but the loneliness wins. Your plate remains untouched for the rest of the night.

A waiter approaches, his expression shifting with concern as he surveys the empty seat. "Is everything alright, ma’am?"

You nod, forcing a smile that doesn’t quite reach your eyes.

No spurging can fill the void he left. The love, passion, your shared dreams, the simple joy of his presence—nothing could ever replace that.

But you can't live in permanent pain, you need to learn how to move ahead.

-

“We have three targets: Lenkov’s mansion, aka the main operation hub; a stash house used for transports; and the commercial property fronting his illicit activities. Timing is key; our intel suggests he’s holding a meeting at the mansion tonight.” Agent Torres runs the plan in front of the entire team, sitting around the huge and regal cedar table inside the meeting room at the Manor.

"You’ll breach the mansion first. I want Team Alpha to grab him in the act as soon as possible.” you listen to Matt's orders.

“I’ve hacked into Lenkov’s live security feed. We’ll have a clear view of all movements outside. Two guards stay at the front entrance but an unknown number are inside. I’ll update you as I figure out the number and positions.” Agent Chen informs the room.

“What will be our entry point? I assume we won't be knocking on the front door.” Pascal questions by the intercom.

You witness the exchange of information in silence, knowing your part in this was already done, and you won't be allowed to do more.

“The west wall has a blind spot in the security system. Once we’re in, we’ll move quickly to clear the first floor before heading upstairs where Lenkov’s meeting is said to be, all clear?” Torres closes the Q&A session before moving to tactics, as the big screen behind him lights up.

-

At night, Lenkov, his always companion dogs, and crew are all gathered in an opulent room adorned with expensive art inside a Chateau deep in the Pyrenees.

As the agents move through the first floor, the soft crack of their boots echoes on the wood as they move down into the adjacent hallway while listening to the voices taking pride in "dealings" made earlier in the day.

Torres nods and asks Intel to remotely turn off the power, plunging the entire Chateau into darkness. They spring forward with swift motions, rendering the four people inside the room unconscious before facing a surprised Lenkov caught off guard, staring wide-eyed as Pascal and Torres burst through, weapons now drawn but masks and gears still on.

“Hands where we can see them!” Torres demands.

The lavish room holds tense air as Lenkov raises his hands, a smile still on his face. “You think you can threaten me? You’re in deep over your heads!”

“Chen, update?” Torres speaks to her by his on-ear, ignoring Lenkov, he has learned to not engage with targets.

“Reinforcements are on their way. Two minutes for the units to converge. Take him to the gates, boys”

"You’re done here, Lenkov. We won’t let you destroy any more lives.” Pascal addresses him as he drags him to the doors.

Lenkov laughs. "We'll see" he stops a second to face him, looking Pascal straight into his piercing blue eyes. "No doubt why you were your father's biggest disappointment, good thing he is dead now"

A fact completely unknown to Pascal, shaking him to the core, Torres rushes to take Lenkov away before things escalate.

Moments later, officers storm the mansion, agents streaming in from every side, ready to secure the area, apprehend any remaining criminals, and gather as much evidence as possible.

-

You are standing next to Mathew kilometers away from where the action is happening, biting your nails, aware Pascal could be in danger.

The fact that Matt pulled strings to ensure he was sent to join the operation felt like one of his usual twisted games. You let out a relieved sigh as you hear Pascal's voice talk to the radio, triumphant.

“We’ve infiltrated rat's mansion with success. He's secured. Two more to go”

It feels like a fever dream.

-

Monza

Being back in Italy hurts like a motherfucker. Your mind is flooded with memories of the last time you were here.

Toto…

You are still so mad at him, well, more like disappointed and also heartbroken. What a way for you to find out!

Okay, for the two of you to find out...

You haven't crossed a word, at all. You are in that phase of avoiding each other like you have the plague, but every time you pick up your phone, that thought is there, the desperate need to reach him out.

Samanta attempted to open that conversation with you, but you ran away. By now, all you know is that he is mad as hell at you, and he knows you are heartbroken because of him. What else is to know?

You miss him like the ocean misses the shore, it's true, but communication between you two and honesty has never been easy.

He chose Susie it's obvious, it does hurt, but maybe it's better if you start to move on.

Even if your marriage isn’t a real one, you get how it looks like from the outside and it’s a situation you can’t exactly change, at least that Matt agrees to it - which he hasn’t in years - and he made his conditions to agree to divorce you pretty clear. You require one hell of a miracle for that man to sign those goddamn papers.

Resigned to your situation, you choose not to fight the tears falling from your eyes on your way to the circuit. You need to let it all out before getting back to reality.

The new one.

-

Your arrival there becomes a media circus. Nothing new, the press loves taking pictures of you and your outfits, but after the incident and now with Mathew by your side, the attention you two are dragging is crazy.

The flashes blind you as Matt holds your hand tight, leading you along. He passes an arm around your waist and pulls you closer, rushing you to go at his fast pace to get free from the photographers sooner.

His charming smile now becomes a threatening one to those blocking his path.

-

Toto sees you stroll hand in hand with Mathew past the Mercedes motorhome, the press circling you like sharks, and people taking out their phones to snap a quick picture of you. He observes from inside his office on the second floor through the large panel windows.

Your green Birkin bag swings in the air, and you look so hot in that Ferragamo one-shoulder dress. The tight fabric accentuates your curves he once claimed his, and that beautiful blue gradient slides down along your figure. The small light fabric tail flows around your every step, and your bulky gold jewelry is the cherry on the pie that makes you look like the matching trophy wife of the zillionaire dragging you along.

It all does clic for Toto at that exact moment, by seeing the two of you side by side.

You belong with that man, and Toto belongs with Susie. You choose Matt. It's more than clear; it has always been Matt. There's no need to talk about the obvious. He's the husband and Toto probably was just a mere entertainment for you.

Still, you would have let him know or hinted if he still had a chance, if you still wanted him. But you haven't, so...

Maybe it’s better if he moves on.

-

The media nicknames Matt and you "the hot power couple of the paddock" in their headlines and recent articles. Haters online address you as "Ken and Barbie."

Toto feels sick when the sites he reads follow your story. There's that fucking photo of the two of you in all new pieces. Everywhere he looks there's him next to you.

He wants to pull his hair out.

-

You glimpse Toto's figure pass you by here and there around the track, your eyes following him around, acting on their own, the way your body reacts to him is surprising and even frightening, how deep you feel for him is beyond belief, but not once does he look back at you.

And that hurts like salt in the wound. You get it. But he also did harm! Yet you hide that sorrow in plain sight, an expert by now.

With a big sigh, you go to look for Charles. You need your bestie more than ever but he is nowhere to be found. Maybe he's with the guys at your usual spot near the medical wing?

-

On your way there you can't help but feel something is… odd. None of your friends are in sight, nor inside their hospitalities, or in corridors, nor coming out from backdoors of their garages, and now you are determined to find out what they are up to, it can't be a coincidence!

You keep searching your way down the paddock almost reaching the trailer park by the end of it.

Passing by a big warehouse some giggles escape from the metal door slightly open.

Feeling like a detective on the brink of uncovering a monumental mystery, you tiptoe closer, peeking through the half-open entrance. Inside the room, Danny is rocking the ladder where Mick is up trying to hang the "welcome back" pennant.

As Millie and Lando talk to each other inhaling helium from the machine for the balloons, Seb and Lewis laugh at their high-pitched voices while filling the snacks.

"Is that Charles sweeping the floor?!! Jesus! That man has no idea how to hold a broom, less use it."

On the white mantel table, you notice the large cake that reads: “Congrats on Your First Crash”.

You feel your heart racing, "A surprise party for me?" This is a first and feels wonderful. "But what for? My spectacular glass wall encounter?

Lost in your thoughts you accidentally lean too much on the door, pushing it open to reveal yourself to the entire group. A gasp sweeps through the room like a wave. They got caught in the act!

“Oh no! CLOSE YOUR EYES! CLOSE YOUR EYES!” Checo shouts, his expression is a mix of shock and comedic horror.

You can't help but laugh, “Surprise..! For you, I guess?”

Then you feel Sam tackling you to the side as Seb and Lewis rush to block your view of the cake, hands behind their backs.

“We’re not ready! Come back later,” Sam tells you to the ear while holding you tight.

"Let go!" you move like a worm in her arms.

"Fine, but look here straight at the light" She is holding a black stick.

"What you think this is Men In Black?!" a smirk forms on your lips as they panic more, “All of you are terrible at surprises, but I love you so much!”

-

The Mercedes garage is bustling with technicians preparing for the upcoming race. The aroma of high-octane fuel is in the air, and the sound of tools creates a stimulating backdrop.

As you are near their entrance, you glimpse Toto inside, busy overseeing the chaos, his eyes sharp and focused. He notices Matt and you passing by, stiffening slightly, his gaze shifting from the crew to your way.

Matthew seems to feel his eyes too and pulls you closer, his hands which were resting on your shoulders start to slide down your back and in a moment of pure audacity, he places his full palm on your ass.

Toto’s jaw tightens as he watches the display unfold. His eyes narrow, and he shifts uncomfortably, trying to maintain his composure while the tension between him and Matthew crackles like static. His professional demeanors faltered for just a beat. Both are well aware of the silent war unfolding.

Toto takes a deep breath, forcing a smile, but you notice flickers of something unresolved in his eyes; a storm of jealousy brewing beneath the surface.

As you begin to walk forward with your husband, Toto remains anchored to the spot, watching you go, with a mix of frustration and longing in his eyes, wondering if he should leave you well enough alone or make a move before it’s even more late.

-

Singapore

Singapore means a long flight, and Matt doesn't have the time for it right now. He is busy supervising and catching on with the team examining all the Lenkov encrypted files and data they found during the raid. To your best luck, the entire operation was a total success, with no incidents, and zero casualties.

So in his absence, you invited Seb to share the long jet ride from Vegas to there.

With still many hours left to land and up in the air, you notice Vettel's beautiful eyes setting on you several times while his lips parting a bit each time he does it as if he wanted to say something but shied back.

“Come on, Seb. Spill it out, it’s killing you and me” You kick him softly with your foot.

You are sitting facing each other on the very bulky and luxurious black leather sofas inside your modern jet. Well, Mathew's jet, well the family's jet.

“You left me on a cliffhanger last time,” he says, softly.

You know he refers to your conversation back at the manor. “Oh,” it's all that comes from your lips, followed by a long sigh.

“I understand if you don't want…” he starts immediately, waving his hands, looking worried now and a bit red on the cheeks.

He is ever so sweet.

“Oh, no, no, no, no worries, it's the only missing piece for you in this puzzle called "my life story". I don’t mind talking about it, it’s just it’s a lot and a long story. Let me ask us for some drinks!”

“Good thing we are trapped in this can in the sky” Seb eyes out of the window to the layer of clouds.

-

"After I won my freedom back, I spent a good chunk of the month talking with agents and lawyers, since the foundation was still wearing diapers, it was a small team and intelligence office, full of people that nowadays I consider as family, Matt offered me to stay at the Manor while they had the chance to figure things out. I was just so grateful to have a roof, food, and a safe space, even if I was kept in the dark regarding what was going on for a bit, it turned out to be for my good and protection but let's say Matt has never been very talkative, he doesn't like questions much either, even today." you shift yourself to a more comfortable position before continuing.

"Our marriage presented to us as an opportunity for me to stay and help to make the foundation what it has become today, I wanted to help others like me and found my life purpose in it. Our wedding was a transactional one; there were no vows just paperwork. Things developed later, as the years went by. Being every day by our sides allowed us to know each other" you state as Seb's eyebrows go up on their own.

"Don’t get me wrong, I love him and he loves me endlessly, but we just didn't work that way" you immediately add. "For a while, I tried to cuddle him, caress him, or kiss him but got no right reaction, I also didn’t know how to show love or support without the physical part, you know. Since I… yeah, was predisposed to that… after all I went through…"

Seb nods, he gets it.

"Matt respected me so much, way too much for my own like at that point. I fell for him so hard, he is such a good person but yet even as husband and wife we didn’t share the bed or even the same bedroom, we always slept apart, even when I asked him to let me stay or when I snuck in I faced rejection, for a second I gave up and even thought of leaving" you make a pause to sip some of your wine and look at a surprised and curious Seb.

"But, I found out he couldn’t stand the idea of losing me or not having me by his side" You do a "Can you believe it?! face" making Seb giggle, before continuing.

"Matt confided in me more than with anyone else - including his mom, even if she isn't responsive - which is not much either but a lot more than with Alexi, Sam’s brother, his best friend, did I tell you their father is Matt’s godfather? They grew up together, I met Sam when she was a kid, and I still see her as my little sis, she loved spending the summer breaks with us and traveling around with us on holidays, she even moved to the manor when things with her family weren't that good, she was like our child."

"And you two never thought... about... becoming a family?" Seb dances around the questions, he heard some comments here and there that you have made, that having kids is been a dream of yours, and that you want to become a mom more than anything.

A long silence from you arrives. The mood shifts slowly. Sadness is clear in your eyes.

"One day, I dared to ask. I told him "Before I met you I begged for people not to touch me and yet with you I seem not to find a way even if it's what I desire most in the world" That seemed to shock him to the core. And that's when I found out. The piece that made all make sense,” you look out of the window. Grief is evident.

"Should I ask?" Seb places a friendly hand on your knee.

“Yes, he permitted me to tell you the full truth, including his. I still don't quite get why, but he seems fond of you, which is so rare, believe me" Seb gifts you a full smile.

Matthew always seemed to be a step ahead of you in so many things, especially those regarding protecting you and your well-being or what was best for you, always taking care of you, and always keeping his word.

"Matt explained to me the night after that conversation "There's a reason why my father started this business and I am so determined to continue it. I was the first case of abuse my dad solved, by locking up his own father, my grandfather, one inkling led to another till it conducted him to Lenkov and then I lost them all, touch and love have never been part of my life. I'm as broken as you. We both deserved better.”

“So let’s repair each other” That’s what I answered him," you explain Seb.

-“I love you” The memory of Mathew’s blue eyes set on you, all watery, and his words come to your mind. “I love you too,” you said back and it was the first time you ever meant it. -

"On our anniversary night that month, we spent our first night together after all those years. Our marriage was wonderful for a while but all good things have a bad side, he has control issues, he can get possessive, and he is so strong-willed it is difficult to go against him, it's always his will, his way, his say, so you can imagine?" you meet the end of your glass.

"We tried so hard to make things work but even with therapy he never was able to overcome that darkness, having kids was a no and a definitive answer from his side, nothing I did made it change, so we broke things off and for a while things were bad, and he spent a lot of time in his corner, he couldn't deal well with the fact he hurt my feelings, and the Manor is so big that for years I felt like a was living alone or with a ghost at best."

Seb pats your shoulder softly in a supportive way.

"Yet, we work so well as business partners as if nothing ever happened. The foundation got stronger, and bigger, with more offices in different places, and countries, we did it as a team, as a family. We spend more time around each other in meetings and business travels than as the married couple we legally still are, Matt has always made it pretty clear he won't divorce me until someone he approves worth it asks him for my hand." you shrug, looking a bit annoyed. "Even if we allow each other "flings" he hasn't fallen for anyone else, so far"

A comfortable silence reigns for a while, till Seb opens the conversation again.

"I'm happy I crossed your paths, even if I don't get exactly how, I just got lucky then!"

"I'm glad too!" you give him an honest and warm smile. "About that! It took us years to be able to get closer to Lenkov - in a way that raised no questions or got us in danger - we became aware of his links with the FIA, so our closest possibility was to enter this world. Thanks to Niki we were able to. We couldn't be more grateful to him for convincing the Williams to sell the team to us and accept none of the other offers."

-

As you are about to land, the emotions brought out today finally reach you.

"Seb, I know my presence around here may be temporary, but now I can't imagine my life without you guys, I needed you more than you could ever imagine, even if my real commitment is with Little Heroes, I'm trying to seize this up as much as possible"

"Then I'm delighted to share this with you" Seb's smile is pure. "Thank you for trusting me, I... I... I promise you can trust me" he holds back what he truly wants to say, more like to confess, getting caught in his feelings too.

-

Something between you two changed after leaving that jet, as if something just shifted.

-

"Hey, Normi. Judging by that spectacular outfit of yours, are you fueling up for a night out?" Lando sits next to her, messing around as usual. Normani looks as stylish and divine as ever. "Want to give me a spin around and see if I can help you shift gears?" Lando says and moves his eyebrows up and down.

"Oh, you mean like shifting my attention to somewhere else? You're a bit too loud for my taste," she snaps back but follows his game. No harm intended, even if Lando likes to joke around in a borderline creepy way - kidding - he never goes there.

"Ah, come on! I have a lot of horsepower, let me show you!" he replies.

Lewis lets out a sonorous giggle. "That's cute, man!"

"Cute?!" Lando looks insulted at his reaction. "I'm a high-performance machine!"

The entire room starts to laugh.

"Well, at least can I get your number? PLEASE" he places his hands in a praying position almost now on one knee, making Normi laugh and shake her head.

"Only if you can recite the entire rulebook of Formula 1 backward" she states.

"Hi, police? I would like to report a murder" You insert yourself in the conversation, joking and talking to an imaginary phone made with your hand walking into the room, Seb following you along.

"Hey, you two!" Lewis gets on his feet to give you a big and warm hug.

"Wife!" Lando turns and greets you. "Vettel" he greets after and sends him a dirty look.

"Oh, now we are a married couple?!" you question him.

"YES! Don't you remember that wild night out in Vegas at the new GP Launch Event? IT WAS A WEEK AGO!" he looks offended.

You look scared for a brief second.

Yes! You all partied like animals in Vegas, but you remember pretty well falling asleep all cozy cuddling with Lewis - no weird business tho - not paying a visit to The Little Chapel.

- Although in your head, you wanted so badly to go there with Toto. Even if he ignored you all night, he looked so hot in that groom-style tuxedo. -

That night Lando refers to, you shared the couch in Sam's hotel room, and Lewis dropped himself quicker on it before Charles was able to claim it, and invited you to hop as the gentleman he is, Charles had no other choice left but to sleep on the rug on the floor for reacting too slowly.

Oscar and Sam claimed the bed for themselves, well, they blacked out and Lando helped carry them there before departing with a hot gal.

"Now that I remember, EX-WIFE! You cheated on me with that long-legged lady you disappeared with for the night. AND YOU OWE ME SO MUCH CHILD SUPPORT!

"Damn, mate" Oscar pats him on the back, crossing his arms, sometimes he gets referred to as your child.

Lando turns to the others with an "Ohh shit!" face.

That night you all drunk as fuck thought it was a WONDERFUL idea to go Karting and ended up in the emergency room after Carlos hit his face and broke his nose, hence that's why Normani was here to stand in for.

Binnoto was furious with you. Which lead to the most unexpected...

-

@SkySports

🚨 BREAKING NEWS: 🚨

A dramatic leak from the F1 database has surfaced, revealing incendiary emails from Ferrari's Team Principal, Mattia Binotto, containing sexist remarks regarding Williams Racing owner Y/N De Vos🌪️⚡️ The motorsport community is reeling as the scandal unfolds! #News #F1

-

You take a deep breath as you step into the bustling pitlane, your heart racing. The shockwave from the email leak has rippled through the corridors, and whispers seem to follow you like a shadow.

Michael walks beside you, his face a mask of concern as he tries to comfort you amidst the chaos.

“I'm not gonna lie, people are talking, boss,” he says honestly, glancing around, catching snippets of hushed conversations, your name tangled in the gossip.

-

"I can't believe what Binotto said!" Niki's voice carries anger.

"You'd think we’d be past this by now," Toto retorts, visibly bothered.

-

Your phone vibrates incessantly in your pocket, a constant reminder of the storm brewing along the race.

“Do you want to go back to the motorhome?” Michael asks you, concerned at the cameras coming your way. But there's a fire within you, fueled by the messages and support from girls worldwide.

“No!” you respond fiercely, recalling the solidarity on social media – photos of women in motorsport, hashtags trending, all rallying behind you. They’re calling for respect, for recognition, and you can’t let them down now.

You get ready to navigate the throng of reporters and FIA stewards stampeding towards you.

-

“How could Binotto be so clueless? I mean, it doesn't surprise me, but still...” Seb shakes his head.

His voice is a mix of disbelief and outrage as he watches the circle of people surrounding you at a distance along with Charles, both their arms crossed wearing the red overalls.

“2024, and we’re still dealing with this shit?!” Charles adds, his tone laced with frustration.

-

You and Michael exchange a glance, knowing what you must do.

You stroll onto the camera lens, holding the microphone being offered to you steady. Deep down, you know this scandal wasn't the limelight you wanted nor the momment, but it is a chance to spark change.

-

From: 2mpzkqvrpmr@privaterelay.appleid.com

CC: "Too Fast, Too Curious"

To: xwx24pvphmm@privaterelay.appleid.com

My dearest Y/N,

I can’t sit with my anger any longer. Those fucking emails?! I'm fuming! To think that someone in his position would spew such appalling, misogynistic comments about you, of all people, is beyond disgusting.

He is just too lucky I'm miles away. I want his head on a platter right now. No one gets to disrespect you. You don’t deserve to be subjected to this kind of garbage.

I know you’re trying to stay strong, but I refuse to sit idly by while you’re being attacked this way! It’s time to make some noise—serious noise.

I will ensure that he faces repercussions for his actions.

I'll talk to you soon about our next move. See you in Japan.

With all my love and righteous fury,

Matt

"OH, GREAT!" you lift your arms in the air, inside the back of the car as the driver takes you to the hotel.

- Author's note: Thank you for your patience and for staying around. I hope you enjoy the much-deserved double-chapter update. I promise there won't be that long of a hiatus for the following chapters.

To be continued... < Previous chapter | Masterlist | Next chapter >

Join us at The Wolff Pack Discord Server > https://discord.com/invite/tpgArxqbfd

[casually-slips-into-coma]

spoilers for iwtv s2e4

my thoughts after a rewatch:

i know claudia hates the baby loves window play but she ate up that little song

the lulu role really is so humiliating :(

louis’ expressions whenever he watches these plays always kills me lmao he hates theater kids

louis and armand talking over each other to daniel

armands theater notes lol

claudia no eyebrow big eyeliner look is kinda cunty ngl

im a fan of sam the irish vampire

making claudia be lulu all the time oooh armand i hate u so bad

almost threw up watching louis and armand give different answers to the companion question IN FRONT OF THE COVEN that shit was so embarrassing

i wouldve kms if i was armand

vamp catfight

armand stuck in this situationship dont worry king we’ve all been there😔

literally telling each other i love you and still having the what are we conversation

“do you notice how hot the room gets when you two talk about the secret” plsssss

louis only able to use the fire gift when hes angry👀👀 gee i wonder if thats gonna come back👀👀👀👀👀

louis going🤨🤨 to the schizophrenia question like it came out of nowhere

armands face while louis talked about dreamstat why not just shoot me in the head

loving these dutch angles whenever daniel dissociates and gets an armand memory

santiago looks so good in the gold suit? robe thing??

claudia santiago friendship is killing me santiago i know what u are

claudia killing the guy singing baby lu

i like that you can tell claudias french has gotten better. nice small detail

i love scenes of louis and claudia just talking about non vampire things

santiago mimicking louis was pretty cool

buffoon sighting!!!

whole dinner scene bangs

the guy saying theres smth “fragile” about armand in the photo louis took and louis saying “no he’s anything but” and then the guy saying “you’ve captured the soul he hides” 🤌🤌

louis would never survive a 4 hour art school critique

daniel telling a girl he’d only do her if she had a paper bag over her head??????

claudeline truthers how are we feeling

context for the eating paper clip in the trailer

romeo!!

armand is so down bad its sick

madeline tailoring a yellow dress for claudia😟😟

the whole claudeline interaction was great

amadeo☹️🔫

MARIUS KILL YOURSELF!!!!!!!

the way armand talks about marius

MARIUS KILL YOURSELF x2!!!!!!

“no one has painted me in 400 years” fuck

madeline period blood moment. theres so much here about femininity and maturing might make a separate post about this scene

armand pinning claudia against a wall armand i hate you so bad

we already know that armand is powerful but seeing him choke and manhandle santiago really solidified that i think

picked another one over me!!

delainey is ACTINGGGGG

louis not believing claudia about armand ooooh louis i hate you so bad

love makes you stupid clock it

louis still referring to claudia as his daughter in his head (thru dreamstat)

louis just actively talking to himself girl do that in your head

park bench moment <3

“wanker” i giggled sorry

that suit is his favorite on him :(

“im a little wet” and armand instantly pulling out an umbrella, armand lighting his cigarette, armand calling him maitre

louis calling him arun and armand calling him maitre and then louis throwing away the lighter this fucking scene is cinematic art

the other coven members calling santiago maitre

i kinda like that daniel can hear them arguing from another room. i feel like its a very human experience? really domestic? even given the circumstances

armands eyes were never brown!!!

san francisco flashback episode might kill me im not kidding

insane way to end the episode

ok this was much longer than i thought it would be but this episode has a lot in it. each episode gets better and better and this is definitely my favorite of the season so far.

i am LOVING louis and armands relationship and also both of their story arcs and characterizations. their dynamic is kind of the opposite of what i, and i think a lot of other people, expected but it still makes total sense and im enjoying it a lot

god i love this show

[destieltropecollection]

DESTIEL TROPE COLLECTION 2023 | DAY 8 | Case Fic

I'll Always Come When You Call | @blessyourhondahurley

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 1,960 Main Tags/Warnings: Established Castiel/Dean Winchester Summary: Cas takes a quick case with Garth that turns out to be not so quick. Dean comes in with the assist.

Blue Like Grace | @aaronthe8thdemon

Rating: Mature Word Count: 3,226 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Season/Series 08, Fake Marriage, Fluff and Humor, Light Angst, Winged Castiel (Supernatural), Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Interspecies Romance, Angel Marriage (Supernatural), Repressed Bisexual Dean Winchester Summary: Dean ain’t used to getting to “decorate” things. Decorations are usually shit for other people with normal lives. He’d see it on tv when he was younger, in shows people would put up streamers for their kids’ birthdays or whatever. And also in bars during holidays, those tacky shiny things hung on walls and from ceilings. But Dean’s never done it himself. Which means that Cas, right now, is driving him fucking insane.

Just Say It | @curlynerd

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 7,494 Main Tags/Warnings: Post-Canon Fix-It, Case Fic, Dean Winchester is Bad at Feelings, Ghosts, Day At The Beach, Love Confessions, First Kiss, Finale doesn't exist, (weakened)Angel!Cas Summary: A string of violent deaths at an otherwise charming B&B was all the excuse Dean needed to drag Cas down to Florida for some fun in the sun. Things had been awkward since Cas came back from the Empty and they could finally be together, but Dean was sure that a romantic getaway was the perfect thing to help Cas get out of the training wheels stage of Angel's-First-Romance and start acting like a real couple. Just as soon as they took care of a vengeful spirit. What could possibly go wrong?

Jupiter's Rings | @notastupidbird

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 7,527 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Fallen Angel Castiel (Supernatural), Solo Hunter Dean Winchester, Hunters For Hire, Monsters are Known, Case Fic, Meet-Weird, POV Dean Winchester Summary: “No, this is perfect! I was just about to put up a notice today.” Dean stops packing up his stuff and rests an elbow on the table. “Yeah? What for?” The man gives a quick look around the diner and then leans in close. “I got an alien in my barn.” - + - In a world where supernatural encounters are a normal part of everyday life, Dean works alone as a hunter-for-hire. After wrapping up a case in rural Missouri, Dean is just about to hit the road again when a man stops him and asks for help dealing with something Dean's never heard of before — an alien. Never one to turn somebody away, Dean takes the case and finds out that he's in way over his head when he discovers just what this "alien" really is — a fallen angel.

This Angel Is Naturally And Artificially Flavored | @aaronthe8thdemon

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 7,687 Main Tags/Warnings: Angst and Humor, Explicit Sexual Content, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, Undercover as a Couple, Case Fic, Canon Compliant, Autistic Castiel (Supernatural), Implied/Referenced Underage Prostitution, Surprise Ending Summary: “I don’t understand,” Castiel interrupts. “If you don’t require my assistance, then why did she pray for me?” “Dean, if you go there yourself, nothing’s gonna get done,” Charlie says, clearly resuming some type of argument that was taking place before he arrived. “You can just go with me!” is Dean’s response. “It’s a gay club, you’re gay, it’ll totally work!” “Yeah, if what you’re going for is the world’s least convincing lavender marriage!”

Forest Fever | @amaranthhiding

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 8,586 Main Tags/Warnings: Canon Universe, Post-Ep 12x10, Monster of the Week, Forests, Monster Hunt, Mystery (a little), Hallucinations, Angst with Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Humor, First Kiss, Emotional Sex, Angel Grace, Dean POV, Sam POV, Dean/Cas Stab Fest 2022 Summary: After the crushing events of episode 12x10 "Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets", Castiel is low on grace and morale. In an attempt to restore at least one of these two, Sam and Dean take him on a hunt. Things start going wrong when Sam gets injured and Cas seemingly disappears. They get worse when Dean turns from hunter to prey for something feeling far more at home in this dark, rainy forest than he does.

Full Fathom Five Thy Father Lies | @ariasune

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 13,575 Main Tags/Warnings: Castiel's True Form, Deep Sea Horror, First Kiss, Season 8 Summary: "Look, Charlie thinks the Men of Letters have something that can help you actually, you know, find this monster.” “Good,” Dean licks at his thumb to get the last of the chicken salt clean. “Cause right now it seems like we’ve got a monster that’s some 20, 000 leagues under the sea…” He stops. “This isn’t some 20, 000 leagues shit is it?” “It’s a submarine, actually.” Fuck, that sounds like a yes.

A Midsummer Night's Dean | @payphoneangel

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 16,949 Main Tags/Warnings: Casefic, friends to lovers, love spells, love confessions, getting together, canon-typical violence, POV Dean Winchester, Summary: When an uncanny string of deaths lead TFW to California, they're pointed in the direction of a kitschy hotel with a reputation for being haunted. Will they discover what’s causing the love-sickness, or will their stay end in (deadly) heartbreak?

Stranded | @malicmalic

Rating: Mature Word Count: 27,980 Main Tags/Warnings: Deserted island, Case fic, Idiots in Love, Fluff and Angst, Crack, Funny situations, Competitions Summary: Prompt: Cas and Dean are hunting and they touch a portkey/ artifact that transports them somewhere warm and sunny/ place full of couples. Artefact also temporarily stops Cas from flying back so they have to muddle through an activity. Snorkeling, abseiling, anything out of the boys comfort zone. Or how Dean and Cas manage to get themselves into some funny and interesting situations while stranded on a deserted island that isn't really deserted at all.

Under My Skin | @whichstiel

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 39,596 Main Tags/Warnings: Curses, Fae and Faeries, Fungus, Sex magic, Body horror Summary: Dean and Castiel head to a remote town in the Ozarks to investigate a series of mysterious deaths. In each case, the victim mutilates their own skin, gruesomely clawing at it until death stops their hands. They scramble for answers, trying to solve the case before more victims succumb. In this small town, the only motel room available means that they will be sharing a bed. They've never been more aware of each other, or the potential that lies between them. When they learn that an ancient sex magic ritual is the best way to stop the deaths? Well, somebody has to take one for the team.

Heart Shaped Box | @mittensmorgul

Rating: Mature Word Count: 43,504 Main Tags/Warnings: s15 fix it fic (human Cas, everyone lives), curses, references to past canon/trauma Summary: The bunker is full of dusty old artifacts. Only now that Chuck is out of the picture once and for all, and Cas is fully restored from the empty and in his first days of adjusting to humanity in Dean’s debatable care, does Sam really have a chance to start sorting through it all. The ornate little box he finds feels like the perfect gift for Eileen, but he both wants Cas to feel included and needed, and really wants a strong second opinion on anything in the bunker being safe to give anyone as a gift. Cas declares it a perfectly normal box, until Dean reaches out to give it his own inspection, triggering a spell that will pull them through their own history and open a door to allow them the time and space to settle all the open questions between them. Meanwhile back in the bunker, once the explosion of light resolves, Sam is left with a slightly radioactive looking box and the sinking terror that Dean and Cas had been cursed all because of him. A little trip down memory lane, Supernatural style, ensues.

Lonely Is The Night | @trenchcoatparadigm

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 50,420 Main Tags/Warnings: Prostitution, During Canon, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bottom Castiel/Top Dean Winchester, Human Castiel (Supernatural), Monster of the Week, Season/Series 09, First Kiss, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Eventual Smut Summary: “Listen, buddy. You can’t stay.” Five little words that had sent Castiel’s whole world crumbling down around him. What would he do? Where would he go? How would he survive now that he was human? That had been nearly 2 years ago. He did what he needed to get by. Had a roof over his head, just about. Minimal food in his belly, enough to keep him alive at least. And money in his pocket. Dirty, filthy money he earned by offering himself up to people that did unspeakable, sinful things to him. Once an angel of the lord, now left to lurking on street corners, hoping someone would give him the time of day just so he could stay alive. Whispers of disappearances had been rife through 5th street. But when familiar faces start vanishing, Castiel isn’t sure if people were leaving out of fear or something worse. Just when everything seemed its bleakest there was a tiny glimmer of hope, pinging brightly off chrome alloys and glossy black paintwork. The rumbling beast cruising through his neighbourhood, by his corner. He never thought he’d see that car again. The Winchester brothers brought to the city on a new case. A new case that sat a little too close to home.

[according2thelore]

holy SHIT that excerpt was so good!!!!!! the elliott ness / hitler bit was hilarious. omg everything i ever could have dreamed and more…. inherent characteristic of dean of all ages is that he is a little shit, and also that he will kill himself for sam.

i also love that baby sam describes grownup sam as barely holding it together. i feel like hearing that would break older dean’s heart but older sam would really just take it as, like, yeah. a little bit true.

do you ever think of them interacting w other characters in this au? cas dropping by, or crowley or rowena or someone calling, lol. if this is set in an elongated season 11, lucifer would be horrific. or… hmm. I feel like claire would be funny, little dean tries to hit on her and she’s just absolutely disgusted.

omg omg omg anon i am kissing you kissing you kissing you kissing you thank you so much!!!!!!!!!!

and haha, thank you! it's so fun to see dean freak out in the moment about meeting his idols (dr. sexy, elliot ness) that i can only imagine how ES!Dean would react to the info that he would actually get to meet them one day! ES!Dean would lose his SHIT if he found out s1e1 that picking up sam from college would allow him to hit on daphne from scooby doo. could you fucking imagine??

LS!Dean would stare angstily into the distance about the "barely holding it together" comment but LS!Sam would say something equivalent to: "ha! yeah. fair enough."

in my idea of how this universe works, i think they would text all their friends a very clear do not come over!! leave us alone until we say it's okay!! we are safe!! personal business!! and everyone thinks they're having a crazy sex weekend, so they definitely do not want to come over. i think once we start adding more characters, this thing gets messy bc how the fuck are we going to explain to ES!Sam&Dean who JUST found out that vampires are real that their best friend is an angel and he also possessed his vessel's daughter claire, that's why she's here and also a hunter and also a child, say hi claire! huh? oh yeah this isn't cas's body, this is a guy named jimmy. no we don't think he's still in there. anyway. he was god for a bit but not anymore and hm? how? oh he ate a bunch of souls. because the king of hell told him to. no not the devil, the king of hell. who's the devil? well. funny story--

but hypothetically i can get down! i love the way your brain works!!! i think it's super fun to imagine all the characters interacting with these squeaky-toy versions of sam and dean who are even more insular and weird as the seasons go on. ES!Sam&Dean are so earnest! and excited! hypothetically speaking, i think it would go like this:

i have been harboring a secret little headcanon that sam and dean's souls look similar, since they're soulmates. to humans, they all just look like balls of light, but for angels or demons...

it makes me think about if cas pops by, he almost...doesn't notice? at first? it depends on the season, but if he's a full-graced angel, he sees the soul first, not the "vessel."

so he pops into the bunker, like "hello, dean. your soul is bright today. can i meet you and sam in the library?" and pops back out. and ES!Sam and LS!Dean are stood there, blinking. and LS!Dean is like. "well. fuck."

and when they all assemble in the war room, castiel looks back and forth between the four of them. for a minute and half of pure silence. "did you have kids?"

"identical kids?" LS!Sam asks, incredulous. "like spores?"

and castiel says "one second." and squints even harder and says. "oh. i see. there are four of you. why did you do that?"

and of course, LS!Sam&Dean are all, "did we do it? we thought someone--on your...ah. team. did this."

and ES!Dean's says, "who's this asshole? oh shit. is he blind? my bad."

"this is our best friend. castiel." LS!Dean says, trying not to laugh. "he has a...religious family."

"is this the friend that tried to be god?" ES!Dean asks, skeptically, and LS!Dean hits LS!Sam on the back of the head, hard.

"it's not my fault! he has big eyes!" LS!Sam says by way of explanation, like that means anything to anyone besides ES!Sam.

"it's very true." castiel agrees solemnly, and both sams trade a look about which thing cas is responding to.

ES!Dean and cas would get along like a house on fire, which is to say...the winchesters don't have a great track record with those. but ES!Sam and cas?? oh boy. best friend alert. if it slips that cas is an angel, ES!Sam is big-eyed, heart-thumping, breathless excited, which none of the other 3/4 are too jazzed about. cas is quite pleased. he preens like a peacock.

"why yes. my true form would melt your eyeballs, samuel." and ES!Sam is almost bouncing up and down in glee. cas never calls sam samuel, but he thinks it adds a biblical affect that ES!Sam clearly appreciates.

they have tea together.

read: sam spills boiling water over his hand while trying to make them tea and cas takes a great deal of satisfaction in healing it. by holding his hand.

read: LS!Dean kicks open the imaginary door of the kitchen like OKAY. THAT'S ENOUGH. HE'S A CHILD. DROP THE BABY.

~~~

crowley texts LS!Dean an ASMR video of someone reading threatening reddit comments (what fucked-up psychological warfare tactic is this??) and when ES!Dean sees the notification, he asks,

"who is the contact with the little devil picture and the...is that an egglant?"

"how did he change his name in my fucking phone? pizza hut. no one. what phone?" LS!Dean throws it across the room because he knows that without a shadow of a fucking doubt that crowley would unhinge his jaw and swallow ES!Sam&Dean whole if he got the chance. or at least desperately try to convince them into a threesome. 

there's no risk of that, but dean is NOT going to explain the 'king of hell' business, so he leaves it be.

~~~

maybe jody (that introduction actually goes smashingly) would bring claire around one day, and, yeah anon, you're right. ES!Dean is a limpet. he's pulling out all the stops. he leans seductively against the table in the war room. he winks a lot. he breaks eye contact coquettishly. claire is stuck between finding it amusing and being horrifically disgusted. she audibly gags when dean smolders.

claire starts to say, "you do know i'm--"

and ES!Dean cuts her off with a shit-eating grin, "if you're about to say your age, don't. i like plausible deniability."

and claire nods for a second before suddenly reaching out, grabbing him, and flipping him over her shoulder. she breaks a chair with his flying body. no one helps him up.

if anything, this makes her hotter, and ES!Dean sees LS!Sam get genuinely angry at him for the first time when he says so.

"back off, dean. i'm serious."

and ES!Dean gets so immediately, blindingly hard that he has to go sulk in his room for a minute or thirty or risk showing the exact shape of his dick to the room at large.

"yes sir. sammy. what the fuck? i'm gonna--" runs into the wall. "i've gotta. fuck. no-- i mean. hahahahahahahahah---" *fading into the distance as dean waddles awkwardly away*

~~~

(and hypothetically speaking, lucifer would be a fucking horror show. LS!Sam is literally covering ES!Sam with his body because didn't he get to ruin sam long enough? you don't get me any earlier. you can't touch him, i won't let you fucking touch him. ES!Dean can tell something is Not Good Bad Wrong Fucked and the sheer depth of terror, of trauma, scares the fucking shit out of him. he looks desperately to LS!Dean like a child looking at their father, can you fix this, how do we fix this? and no one has any answers. lucifer is obsessed. it's a nightmare.)

~~~

anyway, lol! i hope you liked! this one was super fun to think about! dean is always kind of a skeeze, but early seasons especially so lol. i think a lot of people would have a field day w that! and ES!Sam is so earnest and trusting!

thank you again for this ask anon! i always love hearing which part of fics/these posts are folks favourites! kissing you!

have a great day! :)

-lizzy

[the-lonely-crow]

Something that i noticed in the new trailer (!!!!!!!) Is the interviewer (who im assuming is Gwendolyn Bouchard) seems genuinely very reluctant to hire Sam. Especially compared to what we know Rosie and Elias's interviews with Jonah were like. I mean in those it was like they were basically already hired as soon as they walked in the door as long as they were predisposed to one entity or another. But she was all but begging sam to just turn around for most of the interview. And the switch between you really dont want to work here please leave to 👁👁tell me all the fucked up shit youve seen👁👁felt so much more like what we saw from Jon in season 2 and 3 than what you would expect from someone like jonah.

This leads me to a couple theories:

1) whoever this interviewer is, i dont think they are the Big Bad of the series.

2) they are also either not a fully realized avatar or they are very new to being one. Again similar to season 2 & 3 Jon

Also also:

Not really theories but little things i noticed

Something feels important about the "what is the worst thing youve ever seen" from the trailer and Jona's "what are you afraid of" from his interview with Elias (mag 193). Functionally they do the same thing but there is something more concrete about the way it was asked in the trailer. "What are you afraid of" feels more abstract which makes sense considering Jonah wasnt actually trying to get any information in the interview and was really just using it as an excuse to tourment someone. But asking directly what the worst thing someone has ever seen takes off the mask of Normal Boss giving a Normal Interview for a Normal Job. She knows and Sam knows she knows.

Also Sam was apparently referred the job by Alice ("Alice speaks very highly of you"). Maybe nothing but it feels like something im gonna want to remember later when everything goes to shit.

[scoobydoodean]

I see this held up as major proof of Dean's badness, but couldn't it also be proof of Cas having faith Dean can get past anything without Cas having to change his behavior? The way it's structured the onus is on DEAN to work through it, not others to change or make amends. ---- CASTIEL: You know, Dean, he – he feels things more acutely than any human I've ever known. So it's possible he could work through this. One day, he may explode and let it all out and breathe deeply and move on.

I see what you mean in a general sense, and it's extremely possible that Cas is thinking about his own past fights with Dean and Dean forgiving him, and from the perspective of the critique you have in mind that you're refuting, I agree. But of course deancrit casgirls will forever insist that Cas has never in his life done anything harmful to Dean either accidentally or on purpose, so any time Dean might dare try to hold him accountable for anything, he's actually just making shit up and being toxic and controlling, so here Cas is just apologizing for his own abusive relationship. You can only get their take by being deliberately obtuse/disingenuous.

That said, the context of that line (from 15.13 "Destinty's Child") is Cas answering soulless Jack's question about whether Dean will eventually forgive him for murdering Mary.

CASTIEL: Hey, Jack. JACK: Cas, you know what's good about being dead? CASTIEL: Uh, as I recall, very little. JACK: Well, when you come back, you – you really get into all that life is. Hot, cold, sweet, spicy, funny, scary. CASTIEL: And are you? "Into it"? JACK: I want to be. But I don't... feel things the way I used to. Before I lost my... CASTIEL: Your soul. JACK: I used to feel things. In my bones. It was glorious, and sometimes unbearable. But I felt them. Now, I understand joy or sadness, but... I know those things aren't in me. I understand why Sam and Dean were angered by what happened to Mary... CASTIEL: By what you did to Mary. JACK: Yes. I see that I've caused them pain. And it's clear that things have changed. Especially with – with Dean. Will he ever forgive me? CASTIEL: You know, Dean, he – he feels things more acutely than any human I've ever known. So it's possible he could work through this. One day, he may explode and let it all out and breathe deeply and move on. JACK: How long will that take? CASTIEL: I don't know.

And yeah—I have seen people refer to Cas's little speech here as "condoning child abuse" and other bullshit. Because how DARE Dean not forgive soulless Jack for murdering his mother (something soulless Jack is unable to actually really acknowledge he did). I mean clearly any time someone murders your mom because she made them mad and threatened their sense of security by asking if they're okay and saying their concerning actions can’t stay a secret… That’s just natural understandable stuff! You need to forgive the person who murdered her instantly and if you don’t idk you’re kinda overreacting don’t you think? :/ I mean your mom probably deserved it kind of anyway for reading the room so wrong and talking about getting a person help. And I mean if you don't forgive the person who killed your mom or do anything trying to stop them from hurting more people you're really a child abuser... toward an adult... who murdered your mother in cold blood and is unable to even understand why it was wrong in any sense other than an intellectual one like he read it from a book... preferring to refer to it as "What happened to Mary" instead of acknowledge it as something he himself did because he was mad and felt threatened—which is what he circled back to in "Jack In The Box" too. It's only when Jack gets his soul back that he's able to actually feel true empathy, acknowledge his real actions and the gravity of them, and give an actual sincere apology. Because his soul is actually important—something this fandom refuses, by and large, to notice.

Anyway, this fandom's take on Mary's murder and soulless Jack vs. regular Jack is overwhelmingly a bag of wet third grader vomit and feces so what can one expect?

[tacticalhimbo]

— 10 Fandoms, 10 Characters, 10 Mutuals

@perpetuagf tagged me in this and i am OBSESSED, tyvm for tagging me babs &lt;3

apologies in advance if anybody gets a repeat tag in this!

@carlosoliveiraa | @alexxmason | @captastra | @bbrocklesnar | @vendettapandav | @kourumi | @scarfacemarston | @captain-radioactive-mentality | @ollierachnid | @theavaricesystem

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

AIDEN PEARCE | WATCH DOGS; this man embodies older brother rage and it resonates so hard. like. the protectiveness over his remaining family. the fact he acknowledges (even if a bit harshly at times) that he is a bad guy. the fact he thinks he is utterly irredeemable… obsessed with him and his funky sense of fashion

APOLLYON | FOR HONOR; bastard woman. but i love her for it. her backstory doesn't get a lot of mention and i constantly think about how being a child when her family and such was slaughtered, and to have seen how the man who swore to protect them simply turned his back… i just. the way she's grown into someone who is willing to maintain the presence and intensity of war just to showcase its brutality. the way she took said man's armor and forged it to be her own. her brain!!! she is evil and i support women's wrongs o7

ARCADE GANNON | FALLOUT; the original "just like me fr" character, and one of the first canonically queer characters i had exposure to. my favorite companion always. his personality? incredible. his backstory? tragic. his humor? dry and awful, but i still love it and love him

DR. VIKTOR VEKTOR | CYBERPUNK; literally the character with the most transmasc swag i think i have ever witnessed in a game. like. genuinely. this man is trans to me and i am just so head over heels for this old man and his humor and his genuine care for those within his circle

ELSA WOLCOTT | WILSON'S HEART VR; underrated game and underrated character. genuinely. she is such a good character. i love the whole "parent who will do anything and everything for their child" trope (see: my inclusion of sam fisher and, by extension, aiden pearce). but like genuinely, elsa is such a tragic character when you look past the humor of the plot (re: the game being a mish-mash of horror tropes). i wish she coulda had a redemption arc q0q

MAJOR JACK KRAUSER | RESIDENT EVIL; bastard man. but i love him for it. the dynamic he has with leon (aka his obsession over his former ally) is so… man!!!! he also has transmasc energy and i really don't know how to explain it. he just. does

OBI-WAN KENOBI | STAR WARS; my first fictional crush fr, but also he is just. the character ever. the things he's been through, the way he uses them to better himself. the way he tries so hard to be a good man for everyone around him… obsessed

PUNISHED "VENOM" SNAKE | METAL GEAR; i am so normal about this man (lie) and the fact that he is a shell of his former self that has been molded to fit another's perfect image in an attempt to achieve a greater cause (one that would inevitably become corrupted and lead to his own death) and i just. mm. obsessed again

SAM BECKER | FAR CRY; underrated fave. i love sam's bombastic personality and how it stems from the fact that, after facing tragedy and having to adapt a role that makes him complicit in shit, he finally feels hope at things getting better (at least that's how i see it). he is my tragic little meow meow and i am still so sad about his death. i literally know it happens and every time i play the game i start getting so :((((

SAM FISHER | SPLINTER CELL; i discovered him while playing ghost recon and then he single-handedly shot me into the splinter cell series and now i am rotating him in my brain always. his character arc is one of my favorites, and a scene that always plays in my head is the one in conviction when he finds out the truth about his daughter's disappearance like. ugh!! plus i just love very involved and protective father figure characters (if you haven't noticed the trend on this list. and if you did? shush <;3)

[krikeymate]

Tara’s Inhaler being in her front pocket in the back of the ambulance probably means shes been using it a lot. I can really imagine her going into a full panic when she can’t get to Sam in the apartment scene (she might’ve even seen Sam crossing over the ladder through a window or something..idk) and triggering a panic attack which triggers a massive asthma attack. Obviously she’s also in the ambulance to comfort Mindy but I also feel like the paramedics would want to keep an eye on her after a potential asthma attack. Do you think Tara would’ve had an asthma attack during the part ent scene that we didn’t see, this would be especially bad considering she probably wouldn’t have her inhaler with her in that rush to get out the apartment and would’ve had to get it after.

Brilliant thought my friend, I could see it and I love it.

So there's a very long gap between the apartment and the scene after, where it's now gone from evening to morning. How did Ghostface get out the apartment with Chad & Tara at the door, I see a lot of people ask.

Well let's explore that!

They're still banging on the door when it's finally opened. By Ghostface. Tara was already feeling a little lightheaded and wheezy from the anxiety and the fear; the run back down the stairs didn't help. They reach the bottom of the stairs and head for the door, only for Ghostface to step out the elevator. They head for the back entrance instead.

Chad runs into Tara's back. She's frozen, staring ahead. There's a body on the floor. She doesn't even realise she's started hyperventilating. Chad catches her as her knees give way. He looks nervously behind him, but it seems Ghostface didn't follow them.

He hears a "shit, Sam!" (Danny). Looking up, he spots the ladder, and watches as Sam appears (back) at the window. She let's out a relieved "oh thank god. Tara! Chad!" Noticing her sisters state, she curses and leaves to race down to them. There are sirens in the distance now. Tara's in the midst of a stress-induced asthma attack.

Sam tries to help Tara through it, until paramedics appear to take over. She manages to convince one of the first responding police officers to let her back in the apartment to get Tara's spare reliever inhaler, the one she keeps in her jacket pocket at all times.

She watches as Tara continues to take puffs regularly throughout the night, hands shaking more and more each time. Funny, they have that in common, fuck she needs a cigarette.

[atcarpenter]

She is because Tara has found out a few times how strong she really is and is a bit afraid of hurting anyone. She still remembers accidentally giving Amber bruises just by hugging her too tight one time

Amber determines that she will do what she can to give Tara and Sam the home they deserved but never had, telling Tara they have a chance to make new memories to replace all the bad ones she has from her mom

Sam is but Tara just wants to show affection and Amber feels a bit guilty for being so hostile to Sam for so long and not really sympathizing with her and she finds little displays of affection like that easier than the more open ones she has with Tara

Sam understands and is always appreciative of Amber making an effort and does what she can to respond in kind like buying Amber new horror movies she saw in thrift stores and thought she might like or complimenting her just to make her feel good

I love that idea and Tara absolutely loved riding around on her big sister. She just loves being close to those she cares about, especially after years of being denied affection from her mom, and they love having her close too. Amber decides that Tara is worth the effort and Tara returns the favor by letting Amber rest on her and even carrying Amber around which she does without struggling at all

Sometimes, if Tara is studying or working late, Sam and Amber will hang out just the two of them and do fun stuff like watch movies, listen to music and dunking on what a lousy boyfriend Richie was

Tara has come home more than once to see them passed out on the couch, cuddling together, and just smiles or pulls a blanket over them

Tara has a death-grip because she loves too hard. Amber wore those bruises with unbridled pride though.

They notice her efforts and appreciate her sm. And they do make lots of really great memories because they're family now, much better than any family each of them had before. I have to think a little bit of that kitten post I've seen floating around about a slightly older kitten taking care of slightly younger abandoned kittens. She's a little like that. Trying her very best but also obv struggling herself.

Amber struggles opening up so much. And bridging that rift with Sam, but Sam is meeting her half-way, or more than half-way, really. So they get there. Tara is different. Tara was just always in Amber's inner walls. She belongs there.

Amber is kinda used to being ignored tbh, both by her mom who's too busy and by Richie, so even little things Sam does for her, she notices and values a lot.

Amber gets so flustered when she's being carried by Tara because she likes it all the while she's thinking that it should be the other way around. She should be the one carrying Tara, she thinks at least. But really, she just loves being loved and cared for by Tara's surprisingly strong arms. They don't have that kind of dynamic where it's only one of them who "should" do that for the other, and I love that for them.

I love the time Sam and Amber spend together and bond too. But also, I have like, so many thoughts about Amber and Richie in particular. Most of them are really unhealthy. So I think that while they spend a lot of time just trash talking him like a shitty ex they share, it sometimes shows that Amber has some genuine trauma to unpack there that she refuses to talk about or even admit to herself. Like aside from all of them getting stabbed a lot.

I love that visual <3 I like to think the more Amber shares about Richie, the more protective Sam gets of Amber and starts treating her more and more like another little sister she has. That includes just holding her when she feels like shit, with Sam noticing it before Amber does herself a lot of the time. They fall asleep like that sometimes

[captainsspnanon]

C3E60 - reaction

Sooo.....Sam wearing the die costume just guarantees they all roll a shit ton of 20s, right? I know this happened at least once in C2 as well, did it happen all three times he's worn the outfit?

I have MIXED feelings about this episode.

Let's start with the negative first. Not to quote from the shitty parts of the internet, but I'm really starting to get tired of every PC and NPC basically being anti-gods. I know it's different continents than the previous campaigns, with different themes and subjects, but there's just a feeling of Wrongness that 99% of the people in C3 hate the gods, where in C1 and C2 we as the audience had such positive experiences with the gods. It's a level of disconnect that IS story related, but at the same time feels so jarring that at times it's been pulling me out of the story and really being like 'seriously wtf this isn't supposed to be real world religion stuff'.

Have we EVER seen *missionaries* for the gods before?? In any of the campaigns? Maybe I'm forgetting, but it seemed like in C1 everyone was pretty much worship and let worship, let the non-worshipers not worship and no pressure from anyone, EVEN in Vasselheim. C2 had the legal and illegal gods in the Empire, but I don't recall anyone making non-worshipers have to worship the approved gods. No one without religious faith or inclination was pressured to have it. I suppose there was pressure in the Dynasty, but if I recall we really only saw it from Essek? If I'm remembering correctly, then I think it could have been more of a political thing than an actual religion thing. Better to be considered to be worshiping the Luxon than to vocally be neutral or against, just for respect in court. I don't recall seeing the everyday citizens of the Dynasty having a pressure to believe.

My mom joked at the beginning 'christian missionaries' and I immediately shut it down because CR doesn't do that, but then this episode pretty much DID do that, and it felt super SUPER weird and out of place. Again, it's Issylra, where we haven't been before, but to suddenly have this come in after two and half full campaigns, it just feels Off.

Yeah, that's my only 'negative' of my reaction to this episode. I'm really looking forwards to when, hopefully in another 60+ episodes, I'll be able to look back and fully see what Matt was building to and leaning towards, but right now, I cannot see the bigger picture.

OKAY, LET'S TALK POSITIVES.

I'm now 100% sold on Bor'Dor. Whatever I was feeling last episode that had me not connecting? GONE. Bor'Dor is fantastic and I love him. Deni$e is constant hit after hit, no losers here only winners. Very much interested to see what Emily's been hinting about with Prism. Private goal that she's hoping the group will help her with? Considerable interest in theft, to the point of thinking of it as the first option? Building resentment of having to study for her magic versus the scorcerers who are getting it with ease (nicely creating an interesting parallel with Ludinus)? LOVE IT. WANT TO KNOW MORE.

LOTS of lore drops in this episode, but it didn't ever drag for me. Voices from Matt threw me a little bit, the guards at the end were basically just Xandis's voice, and my mom pointed out that Proleff's voice was very very similar to Donnie Boy's. I suppose this is the eventual downside of watching all the campaigns, really starting to notice Matt's repeats more and more. ON THE OTHER HAND THAT STRONG BAD WAS SO PERFECT OMG.

I suppose I should have counted this as a bit of a negative, but a lot of the Abaddina stuff also felt...Off. Well, admittedly, this is coming from a white woman, but something about her physical description just hit a little to close to Mystic Native for me to be super comfortable with it. Being too sensitive? Likely! But it was there.

The more she spoke, the more it felt really cult like, scarily close to the US political landscape at times. Especially because the way she was describing it almost made it sound like she didn't have a problem with the gods per se, just their followers, until Ludinus's speech and suddenly she's a true non-believer and gods much be destroyed. My mom speculates that there was some sort of charm from his voice, I don't know.

.....Also was I the only one who thought that the elemental spirits (i'm not even going to try to find the proper names for them) could be the titans?? I could be WAAAAY off here, but it struck me hard.

The rebellion reminds me SO MUCH of the Knights of Requital from C2, and it's so funny that we're getting something that was so early C2 now in the 60th C3 episode. I think it was Utilitycaster who mentioned that now with the party split they are able to do more low-level campaign stuff that got skipped early on in favor of the Ruidus plot, and yeah - it really is feeling like that, but in the BEST way.

Next episode is going to be CHAOS, and may be LONG. I am expecting lots of casualties, sadly. I wonder if Matt will actually have the 60ish villagers participate, or if there's only going to be a handful that actually ever hit initiative.