#also i dont know if itll still look good when finished idk idk

[ancientfawn]

i dont usually post wips but i really like the sketch so heres just some guy im normal about

[sojrner-fishsticcc]

loona pm - finished! (kinda!)

yes! finally! the model is complete and finished! woohoo!!! as of right now its in what im calling version 1.0, so it still has bugs. im not fully committed to releasing it yet until i fix up some minor bugs in ver. 1.1 and until i figure out how to properly export her and get a system to transfer payment so i can begin selling her online. right now im seeing the price around $20 USD, although thats entirely just me guessing, ill ask around to see what’s roughly a reasonable price considering how much time this project has taken me. i still plan to continue working on it, but ill most likely mainly shift my focus to a new project (god its gonna be weird to go back to modeling! its been like a week idk if i even remember how to lol) and i dont really know what im planning to do after this. this project has been almost my entire life the past week and its going to be weird to finally have it done. like i said i still plan to continue updating her, fixing bugs with animations as cpm updates and adding gestures and emotes when i feel like, but as of now she is DONE. all of the core features are here. so hey! heres a handful of fun things i finished recently:

first of all: she blinks!!! she has a slow blink cycle thats minor but god it adds so much. its such a fun little detail. and with closing eyes comes-

sleeping! she has a full sleeping animation and i couldnt be more proud of it. hooooonk mimimimimi hoooooonk mimimimi. look at her go :3

there’s also some other animations which i finished which im just- really proud of. little things that look neat!

swimming! this is just a nice little forward stroke. it was fun to make. some of the arm movements and rotations are a bit strange and im hoping to patch.

treading water! this plays whenever in water and not swimming. this is pretty novel because this is a pose that just released in cpm’s settings today! so im happy i managed to implement it. it is a bit buggy because the arms dont always go exactly to the surface of the water, they do this even when the torso is well above or well below the surface. oh well, it looks cool :3

climbing! ahhh this looks way better than i thought it would. i might add some bobbing to the body and head but god im so tired right now. expect that in ver 1.1! (i hope). there’s also a seperate anim for standing still on a ladder but its a bit buggy in the model viewer so uh. imagine her standing on a ladder here.

sitting! awww look at her. so polite :) this plays whenever riding something, like a horse or minecart, and actually looks surprisingly good! might tweak the legs at some point. i should also mention there’s some new animations for taking damage and dying which were a lot of fun. there’s the ability to add specific animations depending on the damage type which would be fun!

so: now i have to get to the bad bits. it sucks, but there’s some things i cannot implement because cpm is just like that. some little things im just not doing but maybe might do in the future, like the anim for using a goat horn, and there’s some items that are just bugged and unfixable. the spyglass is one of them, despite me making an animation for it, it doesn’t play properly so uh. that sucks :( also the major one, elytra does not work!!! yeah ik thats so homophobic. you CAN use it but because of a bug in cpm the elytra can’t be synced to body movements so itll look really buggy. i also didn’t configure any flying animation for that reason so... sorry about that. there’s some minor bugs like the transition from jumping to falling not being smooth which ive mentioned before, the arms not syncing up super great to some movement, and pretty much using any item with a specific animation while running is broken. running while holding a crossbow or charging a bow makes the head float in the air in front of the model, which just kinda sucks.

plans for the future? definetly fixing up some bugs, adding some more movement to the hair and tail depending on animations. i skipped out on that a bit just to get the first version of these done so i could use them. elytra, definetly when that becomes possible. also specialized poses depending on damage type and making toggleable swing animations depending on what tool you’re using. i also need to work more on the bettercombat-parcool model since thats completely different and will need a lot of parts transfered over to it.

overall, the model is not for sale yet!!! but please, if you’re interested in purchasing her, message me! contact me on discord @ sojourner#2353 because im much more likely to see it there. i will keep updates on how its going but hopefully the next one should be ver. 1.1 which will be actually up for sale!!! see you guys then!!!

[dewprisms]

Thinking about the past and year n stuff before i go to bed (i never cared for staying up)

gonna put this under a readmore bc it came out more negative than i was expecting...

thinking back to the past year, we got the kittens fixed, i got more hours at work, got to see some siblings again, got to see my other nephew again, got rly lucky with pulls in Po Ma E X throughout the year...

idk what else was good though. didnt do any drawing practice, didnt work on my fic, didnt finish work on the character doc, started on the ruesid ref but didnt finish, stuff in the house keeps breaking, havent seen a doctor yet (its been like a decade), havent seen a therapist yet, the only new game i played was totk and pkmn sleep even tho i bought some more, actually barely played much games at all this year, failed to practice good hygiene habits, failed to lose weight, i actually gained even more than when i lost it 3 years ago and i still didnt get skinny at all back then, and actually i think my health has gotten worse because im even MORE tired than before all the time and my feet hurt a lot too, wasted money on a gym membership cause after august i stopped having the energy after work to go, and with it being cold out with no car idk how ill do it in the slow months (aka jan and feb), failed to talk to ppl more, failed to do anything good with the group chat because my memory is so shit that i just forget, my acne seems to have gotten worse, i keep falling behind bad at work (and it doesnt help that we cant keep ppl for more than a week but thats the company's fault but it still falls on the rest of us to pick up the slack), keep feeling like a burden at work and unintentionally getting on ppls nerves, plus the state of the world has also gotten more shit, and it doesnt look like itll be improving any time soon...

idk it just hasnt been that good and idk what to look forward to anymore. not even xbgr in k h 4. im so fucking lonely and i feel both my physical health and mental health deteriorating and theres nothing i can really do except watch it happen from behind these eyes that constantly question if reality is really real or not. ive been wanting to cry for the past like 5 months and i dont know what the fuck to do anymore, i dont have the energy for shit

🎉🎉wooooo!! 🎉🎉🥳🥳🎈

[teddy-feathers]

like over all Fashion Dreamer *is* a boring game. There's no plot, no real direction, and the npcs are a little... repetitive despite efforts to make them have their own personalities.

That being said

Playing on line - which according to a post I just saw does not require nintendo online subscription - is rewarding because youre facing strangers who tell you - at best - four things about the clothes they like, and you make them an outfit with what you've collected or made yourself. Its rewarding not because younget to make a little outfit, but because they can then send you feedback on it - thanks or nice. or no response at all but them downloading your clothes. You also have a show room where people can take a look at your creations and collect them for their own use.

So like. it could be mind numbing. the style trends change based on day and location, and even the npcs get one tell you what they want but after a little it us tiring.

im still having fun. like running around collecting clothes and fulfilling requests with a shit ton of wiggle room on what you design is exactly what i wanted. a game around that would have been nice but probably would have only slowed me down. idk.

thre are issues

you cant zoom to see shit better. so collor and detail can get lost until *after* your client poses in the outfit. theres no confirm when you go to finish your design- accidentally hit the + button and its out into the world it goes - though it wont let you post an outfit that doesn't have either shirt, shoes, or pants.

the body type seperation is bullshit.

i havent found a lot of fun "mens "clothes...

no body diversity.

falling asleep. anyways i think its good for what i wanted but it is limited and relies on a popularity i dont know itll get.

[totallyblooktacular]

just realized i havent been posting like. anything. despite my desperate attempts to Make Art tm so heres some.... things..................................... p much all just assorted doodles tho bc i havent been able to finish anything lately

[t0shii]

can i request putting makeup on suna, tendou, and kyotani? idk who but i feel like one of them would feel so comforted by ur touch that they start to fall asleep

putting make up on them

suna rintaro, tendou satori, kentaro kyotani x gn!r

warnings! lightly proofread

SUNA RINTARO. eyeliner

you were sat in front of your vanity, winging finishing the wing on your eye, humming along softly to the music you had playing in the room when you heard him walk into the room. suna sat beside you, looking at you into the mirror watching your steady hand, "can i help you, my love?" you smile smiling at him. he clears his throat and shakes his head no, "why so shy all of a sudden then? all you need to do is ask rin." you chuckle at his odd behavior, "after im done with mine i'll do yours, okay?" he nods mumbling an "okay." and continues watching you through the mirror, "okay your turn rin. sit still okay? just like last time." "i got it." he says, turning to face you. he's still the whole time besides a few twitches and he's also quiet. when you ask him why he's being so silent he tells you "i dont wanna mess you up." and avoid teasing him because he seems in an off mood. "okay done." you say, filling in the last of the wing, "you like?" you ask turning him towards the mirror, he's silent like he doesn't know what to think about it. "i think you look pretty." you hum, kissing him on the cheek. he only nods in return with a hum of agreement.

TENDOU SATORI. blush

he walked by as you touched up your makeup and knew he had to ask, "baby, baby." he stands next to you, looking at you through the mirror. "can you do mine next?" you look back at him, "of course, here i'm done so we can ho ahead." you did your brush into the pinkish powder and smile as he gets giddy from the feeling on his face. "it feels weird." he mumbles, scrunching his nose, "smells weird too." "well it's not supposed to smell like roses, satori." you apply some to his other cheek, smiling at the end result. "we look so pretty huh?" you smile into the mirror as he wraps his arms around your waist from behind and sits his chin on your shoulder. "mhm mhm we should take pictures bub." enjoy the mini photoshoot you two put on.

KENTARO KYOTANI. eyeliner

he watches you from your bed as you apply your eyeliner, you notice him staring from the mirror. as soon as you move your eyes over to look at him he looks away causing you to smile and turn to look over to him. "do you need something kyo?" he looks at you wide eyed, "uhhmmm well..." he looks down as he picks slightly at his hands, "can you do mine? my makeup i mean. the stuff you're doing now?" he asks, a blush painting the skin on his cheeks, you giggle, "you want me to do your eyeliner?" he nods eagerly, "c'mere." he gets up immediately. "uhh can you sit in my lap while you do it?" you're surprised by his request but agree. "okay just sit still okay? close your eyes." he does as told, as soon as you press the applier to his eye he flinches slightly, "sorry, i didn't mean to." "it's okay, just an accident." you assure him and get to working on his eyes. he remains silent the hole time, soft breaths being the only noise he makes. "okay kyo, i'm done." you mumble, but no response. "kentaro?" he wakes up at the sound of his name. giggling at his embarrassed face, you grab a mirror and point it towards him, "did i do good?", he nods and you notice his eyes are still droopy. "i think it's time for a nap.

a/n would vm like to give mr kyotani bat winged eyeliner i just know itll look badass

[pluviophile-imagines]

🎉 NEW GAME: Introduce your mutuals to everyone and what do you think of them? 🎉

oooo interesting....... ok. as we all know i cannot shut the fuck up this is under the cut bc despite me having less than 10 mutuals total i also apparently decided to soapbox at the end so im uhhhhh very sorry. not sorry enough to edit anything tho LMFAO

first off i wanna say that i actually dont have that many mutuals LMFAO i only just recently (in the last uhhh three or four months, over the course of this blog which has been around for going on 2 yrs) started rlly putting effort into reaching out and making mutuals. im also only including "true" mutuals here, people who I mostly interact with on tumblr and not through discord, bc shout-out to @venexus @tay-is-writing @scotchtapehanta and @myherowritings yall r some of my bestest friends but we're not close bc we're tumblr mutuals! we're tumblr mutuals bc we became close through discord beforehand, and thats a big difference imo. also i wanna note that this is in chronological order! and i wanna say most of these blogs r 18+ because that's the content i tend to consume, so please please please respect their policies wrt interaction.

imma start this off with @cellotonins bc cookie is the first true mutual i made on this blog and what a first pick! theyre an absolute sweetheart, i adore seeing them on my dash, and im so excited to see where they'll be taking their new blog. rest assured i will be lurking in their inbox the whole time🧍

@andypantsx3 andie andie andie my beloved....... funnily enough i found her through one of HER mutuals when i was on a Jason Todd kick. and then i absolutely devoured her masterlist, and the rest is history. andie is the only person i will read oblivious reader from tbh, i adore her writing so much i cant even be annoyed JHABFJHAFBV and ma'am you have perfected the art of just the right level of slow burn & length of fic i applaud you

@ofmermaidstories merm! what is there to say about merm other than if u havent read her bakugo fic surrender (when youre ready) then what r u doing reading this silly lil love bomb and not that??? merm is going places lemme tell u. shes gonna publish a book and be a huge successful author and i will get to tell my cats as an old lady that i knew her when she was writing anime fanfiction.........

@wuhllow willow my darling my bakugo sister wife. i made that up just now idk if itll stick. absolute queen of bakugo characterization its like she n i share the same braincell wrt him. every time she makes a bkg post i commandeer it and add my 2 cents i just gotta its a compulsion..... everything she writes makes me wanna write more

@ihatebnha caitie's so fucking cool and if i get my way i will bully myself into her good graces. if u want good convo along with good writing, shes the blog for u. caitie if u see this brace urself im going to be friendship-courting you soon and that IS a threat be ready for me to hop in ur dms at any time

@saintdabi vic holy fuck i dont know how i managed to get them to follow me...... im still a lil intimidated by them tbfh i always feel a lil like im annoying them IUSHBDF but the takes??? the hot takes??? about like EVERYTHING from characterization/meta to just. talking about real-life bullshit on their blog...... im always sitting looking at the convos on their blog like "no lori u cant send in five asks thats too much" lmfao (esp bc im usually reading them the morning after theyve finished......)

@suguwu ALSO someone whose support is a mystery to me HBSDFUVH bee.... u know im a bnha blog right...... ik im working on that gojo fic but why r u here (im not complaining) bee is an absolute legend and shes going to fucking slaughter me with gothic romance geto when that comes out,,,,,,,, like deadass itll kill me. also someone who's a lil intimidating but in a "my older sister's cool friend" kinda way O.O

@izuukii scouts a lil bit of an outlier so disclaimer we did technically meet on discord through their 404 server! n e way ive only followed them for a week or so but im loving how eclectic their content is LMFAO scout definitely has a lil for everyone which is so fun. also i cant wait for nov to end so we can sprint together again bc i swear my writing production has more than halved with sprint bot out of commission......

and finallly adding @sipsteainanxiety on the end here breaking the chronological order bc i have known shay for almost two years!!! omg we actually JUST met up irl 🥺 it was so fun; she should technically be wayyy up at the top with folks i met through discord but we interact on tumblr so much i figured it was silly not to talk abt her. my OTHER bakugo twin flame, we ALSO share bakugo braincells and she's conditioned me into writing a couple hundred words on a certain fic every time i see ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ for which i am begrudgingly thankful

i wanna note now that i included literally ALL of my mutuals bc again i dont rlly have that many! that includes some who i've only just started interacting with & i might not know well, so if ur on this list and going "wait we havent talked that much why did she tag me....." thats why LMFAO im terribly sorry if it puts u off.

and here comes the soapbox. im gonna be honest, i think the culture of mutuals on this site is..... well, not necessarily toxic or unhealthy, because making friends bc of a shared interest is so fucking cool! especially if you're both working hard on it—writing is so much more fun when you have someone to support you and cheer you on, and bounce ideas off of. thats one of the reasons i decided to be more active and reach out more on here! i need enablers yall. badly. pls enable me

but i do wanna put out here..... theres a strange result from mutual culture where it feels like EVERYONE involved looks at everyone else and thinks to themselves "theyre all closer to each other than i am, they're doing it differently and im not doing it right" and that feeling sucks. it rlly does. so i guess one of the reasons im tagging people im not super close to is to reassure people looking at this that like....... im still figuring this shit out too. interpersonal relationships are fucking HARD, ya girl is autistic she KNOWS, so like. take it one step at a time and try not to compare the way you're feeling to the way other blogs project themselves—you dont really know what goes on behind the scenes, how much anyone truly talks to anyone else in DMs or otherwise. these are blogs! you're not seeing every aspect of anybody!

and i finish it off with hey! if u are someone i tagged that i dont know super well and r thinking "wow i wanna talk to her more" (or someone i tagged who i do interact with a bunch and just wanna get to know me better!) pls do! im friendly lol. and if i havent yet i will be jumping into ur dms at some point. thats a threat. its inevitable 👁️👄👁️ i just need to be in the right mood

[i-love-to-draw1]

I finished

Lmao thts was great

Im tired

Anyways im suprised how pogtopia/now lamnburg just viewd the badlands group as non threathining or like as singular neutral people. Hell everyone that tht thy were on their side when i watch their pov n thy still think thy are. And also when while i was watching antfrost pov thy were waiting n doing nothing which is great for them after all chaos is what thy wanted. Then they r " recognize" by the dream smp. Dream acted all high and mighty thinking tht no matter wut thy do itll be nothing bc he sees them like lmanburg when in reality the four of them are in sync, thy are clever, n observent thy dont cause as much conflict as the lmanburg.

Antfrost is a great strategist

Bbh n skeppy are sneaky regarless of wut thr brand is. I mean have u seen the manhunts and skeppy when hes so close to beating technos score like dude look at them.

Sam. The supplier, the grinder, n the god of redstone. He also finds loop holes in dreams rules.

Like come on thy are dangerous. Thy are in sync group.

Anyways, more thoughts, techno will be observing the lmanburg n grinding again after this lmao

Tubbo will be good president bc he maybe a wholsome n kind person, he knows when to be chaotic lolol. He will do good on movin forward.

I wish nikki n karl luck on thr own countries

George being king will be interesting

I wish the lmanburgians luck on rebuilding a new era

Eret....idk wut will happen, he might join nikki instead of lmanburg since everyone but Tubbo is iffy with him. I really want him to badlads cuz at least thy were respectful n try to help out. Even tho thy felt uncertain when thy told eret.

New members wooooo

Old members coming bak after a long as time lmao

Anyways nice! This season was bittersweet but ive read homestuck so i handled it whr despite feeling the urge to cry.

[sufferthesky]

ASD/ADHD/SPD peeps, I need help!

Hey neurodivergent friends! Idk how to phrase this post but basically I'm trying to figure out what type of neurodivergent I am. I know I've got depression, OCD, general anxiety, and SPD (sensory processing disorder). I've had the SPD my entire life, so I'm pretty solid in knowing I have that.

Basically, a lot of what i have and do overlaps with ASD (Autism) so i was thinking maybe I'm autistic. However, everyone seems to agree that autistic people have 2 "types" for communication (either awkward and socially inept, or sociable but unable to draw boundaries). Idk if that's 100% accurate, but that's what every article seems to say. (And no, I dont read articles from Autism Sp//ea//ks). But I'm pretty good with social interactions and make friends easily, and I can understand emotions, expressions, body language, and boundaries pretty easily. So that makes me think maybe I'm not autistic.

I did some more research and a lot of the childhood ADHD symptoms line up with how I acted as a kid. I know theres overlap with SPD, ADHD, and ASD so it can be hard to be sure lol. But I'm thinking maybe I have ADHD. I also know it's hard to get a diagnosis for ADHD or ASD when you're a girl (which I am). And I also know I should talk to a doctor about it if I want a diagnosis. But it was extremely hard to get scheduled at the clinic where I used to live (I was on a waiting list for 3 years and still never was scheduled) and now I live in a small town (10,000 people) so itll be harder to find a doctor that specializes in these types of disorders. I just wanted to ask Tumblr first.

So I guess my question is, can you have autism and be socially savvy and understand boundaries and social cues WITHOUT people telling you about them explicitly? (Like, inferring them.) Or should I stop looking into autism and look more into ADHD? I have the struggle with extreme emotions (especially anger and sadness), meltdowns/shutdowns, resistance to change, routines, stims, rituals, and extreme hyperfixations (eg a song, actor, or movie that I'll only think about or talk about from anywhere between 3 months to 2+ years) among other things. Idk how much of this is from OCD and SPD though. I know those are pretty common in both ADHD and ASD. But I've always been told I talk too much/too loudly, cant sit still (leg bouncing, standing up/walking during class), interrupt (more when I was little) and finish other peoples sentences, easily distracted, unorganized and messy (but with my own system within it), and very forgetful. I also have a chronic illness that affects my memory, but it's bad lol.

I really feel more confident in the description of ADHD than autism, tho. But I know lots of neurodivergent ppl are on here, so I wanted to ask about it. (-: I've never discussed my issues with anyone so I'm new to this. Pls let me know if I'm ever using ableist language or outdated/incorrect terms! I have friends and family on the spectrum and with other things, but I'm not active in the communities, groups, blogs, etc. So I'm not up to date on most things!

Thank you in advance!

[macklives]

homestuck recap

i hated this so fucking much bc my 2 am bitch-ass didnt want to read a recap thats probably longer than any slowburn out there

anyways here it is

also, uhhH sorry im using this as a end of session discussion bc that shit gets explained in her as well. and im not writing up more recaps of a recap so this is where im done for the day. (by done for the day i mean last nights session, im still doing a liveblog soon. i just wrote this yesterday)

also that this is long

you dont have to read it, theres nothing of importance

ive been coping with humor to get me through it

neato.

have fun with what i suffered through:

why was “beta” the only thing unhighlighted?

like did i miss a page???

OH its the beta version of HS thats why

damn its like 5 pages and thats it

mmh

well youll all be happy to know im clicking every single one of these links again bc i like looking back like ahh i remember that. good times. also in case i forgot some shit existed.

do you think andrew had fun writing this? or was he like “fuck”

thats a lot of fucking package talk. good thing im not confused as of now and remember it pretty clearly. of else, this early on in the recap, id be screwed.

god remember when i did an analysis on each item and what it did

i feel as if i have the technology engrained inside my head right now

cruxite, alchemeter, all that jazz

flashbacks are starting up already

yeah, that was the good part in homestuck where i knew 100% that i probably would continue on this liveblog in its entirety, ngl

that one explosion scene. bc it kept me going.

OH W A IT SHIT

i just realized how the intermission spades probably fucking foreshadowed the whole jack revolts thing and gains the ring, which was also technically JOHNS fault considering he slashed up the doll in the first place

my god, i guess thats the only good aspect of the recap. looking back at things and realizing the missing pieces.

oh that makes sense for the whole “this prototyping had no effect on the enemies, since he was already in the medium” i didnt actually think about that

little did rose know where that would get her right now

oh yeah

there’s still the whole entire lab terminal thing and how mom basically knows the place exists. i guess we’re still venturing onto that and itll come up later when we find out how mom knows SO MUCH about the game.

still think shes some weird spy or secret agent

i kinda love her ngl

anyways, theres literally no reason for skaia to produce a cloning machine. so technically, they only sent the meteors in, right? so who put the cloning machine in if not mom?

oh yeah that impact was nerve wrecking asf

and still at this point in the comic i called dave fuckboy red

huh, how times change

i hated reading that whole paragraph ngl, the frustration just kicked me in the boobs again

yeah nobody else got tornadoes, huh?

OH that makes also much more sense

bc she did prototyped them before she entered the medium.

i gotcha

man one of my favorite edits i made, rose hitting that meteor with a bat

are you

telling me

the exiles structures they arrived on were in the form of the items the kids used to enter the medium?

THE EGG

THAT EXPLAINS “EGG”

of course it was 413 years ago. that was never explained. simply vague “many years in the future....” but i expected no less from this

man serenity is the most wholesome character in hs no doubt

damn thought andy here was really gonna spoil us jade’s planet

okay cool, im glad i now have the layout to the whole “their stations went to the coordinates of the home button” shindig

man i honestly dont know what else to say besides “yeah cool recap” when i already pretty much know what went down? ofc im looking into each link and shit and adding in things when i see fit, but otherwise its just me going “ah good times” yknow

the whole meteor thing kinda makes sense now?

we’re still missing a few pieces of info but we’re getting there, folks

oh yeah that reveal

god jade and dave have it in the shits for parents huh

bro isnt the best and jade has a fucking dog

who lowkey

is doing better than bro

who knew a fucking dog is a better guardian than bro lmfao

dreambot = terminator. im telling you.

sorry im still on that idea and it will never leave unless i have the actual proof in front of me that its not going to become a thing. meaning, ive finished hs and theres still no terminator dreambot or either andrew himself gives me a canon letter with “the robot is not arnold, mackenzie, pls just let it be”

why is the entire game session highlighted

i swear to god if this is like to a second recap or smth of the whole game session i may fucking CRY

okay thank god its just a design of the skaia layout

which is honestly cool

idk why its blurry tho but i can at least see the layout now. which is honestly how i pictured it anyways.

yeah, john did make a huge impact in his friends’ life and i find that so fucking touching

yep. got that. everything loops around. cool.

especially when the trolls come in. god we havent even gotten to that recap portion yet, we havent even gotten to the INTERMISSION

pls can this be the halfway point to the recap

AT LEAST

so they were exiled after the whole jack: ascend thing, right? considering theyre way in the future. man no fucking wonder.

speaking of jack

man that whole dad and jack interaction was gold, ngl

OH THAT EXPLAINS THE RING THEN

and wow, andrew’s really giving us the best female content huh. andrew is the true god of equality and diversity.

also hey, i didnt realize that wow. so PM tricked the queen in showing the parking ticket to be able to take the present from jack. she’s a smart cookie, that one..

she and PM basically snitched on jack and it was the best thing that has happened to me so far

oh yeah okay

but why did AR panic over bec? bc thats something we havent learned yet, right?

anyways

exile town, the only town which should exist. facts. i dont make the rules.

noice

i love PM being queen. like.. thats canon now. shes an actual queen.

yeah that was a fun game and the consorts were cute

fuck yeah the dick head

hate them even more now that i know john was killed because of them

anyways, i wonder what dick move dave’s denizen did? maybe thats why its filled with lava bc the denizen was like “fuck it. make the land red. kill them all”

UH WHAT

WHAT

OH MY GOD HOW DID I JUST FORGET NANNAS LETTER LIKE THAT LMFAO

THEIR TITLES WERE THERE THE WHOLE TIME!

so i still dont know what they mean but i can gather it has something to do with the game giving them abilities. considering dave is the “knight of time” and he can go back in time. whack.

which means john can either control someones breathing or simply wind. and rose is... like that one girl in the winx club who does the sun shit. bc whenever i think of light powers, i think of stella.

and jade is space. witch of space.

nice

i have no idea what that means ngl

okay finally

we’re at the trolls

maybe this recap will end soon

i remember when i thought they were internet bullies

yesss

someone asked if i basically knew the trolls were on a different veil than the kids, so not presently with them, and i know lol. i was making a joke before btw. jsyk. dont think im incompetent to forget these things when sometimes i choose to forget it so i can add in a joke

it be like that, i annoy many

then again, pls dont assume im trying to say im not incompetent bc im also a fucking dumbass and DO forget shit and i have no excuse

imagine being so bored on the meteor, your last resort is speaking to aliens

ngl me if i was ever trapped on a meteor and could potentially do that

nah ik its bc its their only hope at helping with their session or whatever tf CG said to john. but there was BOUND to be a conference meeting between them like “okay guys. humans. that needs to be sorted out” and you just hear CG screaming in the background

i cant wait to meet them honestly bc im growing on all 4 of the ones we’ve seen already. and on top of that, i know what they look like and i know theyre not THAT bad, just a little on the crayy zee side sometimes

but theyre trying

OH MY GOD

I GET IT

FUCK

DOES THAT MEAN THE INTERMISSION IS *APART* OF THE MAIN FUCKING STORY??

AND SPADES IS WV FOR THE TROLLS

GOD D A M N

wow

i didnt expect that. but maybe the signs were there and i was just willingly choosing to ignore it or smth bc “haha couldnt be, right”

flashbacks to how i thought the trolls were humans

anyways, i guess he got his revenge on the kids version of “snowman” ie the black queen. but really

he did not have to do that. he could have cut off the finger and fled. but he decided “nah, lets implode her” so the loml is dead and all i got was a catchy song

i knew they were different types of “bullies” but now i just have to replace bullies with uhh

trolling strategies

anyways, this is cute. i love how they’ve come to be friends through mutual frustration. good part in the comic.

i wonder why it explodes

more importantly

....

terminator time?

this was my favourite sequences of dialogues in the whole entirety of homestuck. that is to say the back and forth thing that the kids went through to become a sort of wingman for the other.

absolutely gold.

all except AT’s rap.

GC was the only smart one with the linear shit

anyways fuck he still has to kill the denizen now but apparently its hard to beat for a sleeping dick head so

that will be fun for the future

john will probably need to kill A LOT of imps to get there

yeah rose is a badass bc she slayed that thing with needles of all things

OH and the white queen was the cursive

damn did AR ever do the whole guide process to a kid yet? maybe he will with dave, idk

oHHH

i fucking SEE

thats why he said DNA

to use it and replace all the life forms in the ocean

fucking neat wow

man that sounded sarcastic but im genuinely impressed bc all i got was bullshit as i read jaspersprites log

so thats the secret. it was “meow” bc that somehow translates to the genetic code she needs then. and that code apparently took fucking years to write as well. sick. whack. oh man.

derse is very pretty, ngl

and wow shit

“dave had already been awake in his tower all along without realizing it” how tf does someone just

do that, awake in both places at once

i didnt even fucking realize that fact as i read that pesterlog wow

ah yes, around the time things got confusing

okay so the capsule makes sense bc at first i didnt know it was a fucking time capsule so i got confused as to how it just apparated the game lmfao

the more you know i guess *twinkle*

i find that a neat concept tho

like the whole whatever you prototype affects the imps and shit

yeah so that whole “he had no advice” basically impacted his future

no shit dave wanted to reset things bc he probably thought he caused some sort of bad butterfly effect and killed his best friend

fuck calsprite thats all im gonna say

i read that first sentence and i think i got an aneurysm

and then everything else just made me sad again

i mean good thing he fucking did amirite?

we got pain at first but now we got cool shit like idk

fucking DAVESPRITE

damn idk how that works

will rose have like two minds now? or will this be some steven universe fusion shit?

“and understood their meaning” course well i fucking didnt so could you pls elaborate, rose?

okay but then what the fuck did he use that was inside the fucking box

bc i thought he used his knife?

im only every going to refer him as that now, thank you andrew

alright okay..

god that was a lot

i dont know what will happen once i click on those links but i am going to see that for myself bc i refuse to add ANYTHING ELSE

[xuteline-blog]

I want you to love me now

read on ao3!

Word Count: 3,489

Pairing: Seonghwa/Hongjoong

Tags: Alternate Universe - College/University, Feelings Realization, Past Relationship(s), Getting Back Together, Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Chatting & Messaging, seonghwa jus wants to be held..., and thats exactly what hongjoong will do!!, Kissing, Angst with a Happy Ending, Happy Ending, Not Beta Read

Description:

Seonghwa didn't know who he had expected to be there at Yunho's movie night marathon. All he was told by Yeosang was that he had invited a couple friends over. He had never thought he'd find himself reunited with the very person that taught him what love really was, and to have a chance at it again.

Seonghwa knew what love was. He knew about it before he was even in preschool.

His mother and father, holding hands as they stared into each other's eyes, whispering confessions before giving a peck on the lips to eachother, waving goodbye as one of them left.

His mother and fathers thumbs caressing eachothers hands, sitting on the couch as his fathers arms enveloped his mothers frame, both content, both warm.

His mother and father, in love.

He saw it every day. He knew what love was.

He was told in class once that being in love would be when hes most happiest. He was told in class once that being in love was what everyone wanted. He was told in class once that being in love felt like you were a firework, about to be ignited, and when you saw the person you loved, you would light up, and felt like as if your body was on fire.

He was told about it every day. He knew what love was.

It wasn't until Seonghwa reached his senior years in high school that he contemplated love. Looking back, he had never really felt what people told him love felt like. He had had his fair shares of relationships, and by the way he felt absolutely downtrodden after his breakup with a guy in his class two years ago, he really had thought he had been in love. But maybe... it was just infatuation? Maybe an oblivious case of puppy love.

He remembered the day clearly.

It was stormy, the rain pouring down as Seonghwa looked out the window of the library. He had came here to study, as his last exam was coming up and he couldnt afford to fail. His scholarship depended on it.

He sat alone at a table, the librarian allowing him to keep his hot chocolate as his books and papers laid in front of him, his small makeshift study desk unorganised and messy.

He watched as the rain droplets danced around each other, how they stepped close before stepping back before colliding together, catching eachother and finishing their dance at the bottom of the window pane.

What a weird metaphor, he thought. Rain droplets, two lovers dancing around each other and away, too scared to cross paths before giving their all to their other.

He had never felt such a way.

A hand slammed on his desk, tearing him away from his thoughts. He looked up at the culprit, his wide eyes furrowing as he took in who had scared him.

"Hongjoong," He stopped twirling his pen between his fingers, holding it steady as its tip nearly touched paper. "What do you need?"

"I just wanted to check on you!" Hongjoong smiled, and Seonghwa felt warmth blossom in his chest at the confession. Hongjoong grabbed a chair from the table infront of Seonghwa, turning it to sit at Seonghwas desk. "You've been hauling yourself up here a lot lately, I was worried if you were doing good," Seonghwa fought a smile as the shorter boy sat down, leaning onto Seonghwas table.

"I have been doing fine, just studying," Hongjoong furrowed his eyebrows at the statement.

"But exams have finished?"

"Not this last one, its an exam to confirm whether or not I will be going to my desired University,"

"Oh? But i thought the scholarship covered that?"

"No, it was like a golden ticket. All expenses paid and a course set for me as long as I ace this exam,"

"What happens if you dont pass?"

"They take my scholarship and give it to someone else. They also refer me to other universities and colleges that would suit me if I so ask them too," Hongjoong looked down at the desk, eyes examining the strewn papers as he pouted. Seonghwa could fight the smile that ordained his face.

"Whens the exam?" Seonghwa grabbed one of his textbooks and his writing book, copying a few things down.

"On Friday," Hongjoongs eyes widened, his mouth agape.

"Thats only two days away! You better be studying!"

"You said you came up here because of how ive been," Seonghwa put down his pen, raising his hands to make air quotes. "'Hauling myself up here'"

Hongjoong banged the table, causing a semi loud bang to exho through the library. The librarian looked aorund the corner, pinpointing Hongjoong with her glare and shushing him. Hongjoongs cherks turned red as embarrassment took over him.

"I-I know i said that! I just— didn't you just have your last school exam yesterday, then? Have you been studying for this exam while stuudying for the schools ones, or just started now?" Seonghwa wtched as Hongjoong leaned back in his chair, a pout making its way back onto his face.

"I had been studying for this since Saturday, ap you do not need to worry. In fact, i think this may be my last long study session for a while. I'm pretty confident of where i stand right now," Hongjoong looked up at Seonghwa, a small smile forming.

"Thats nice to hear. Does that mean you could probably hang out with us tomorrow? We all miss you..." Hongjoong trailed off, having grabbed Seonghwas pen and spinning it on the table. Seonghwa felt more warmth course through his body at the statement. He missed them too.

"I will, do not fret. I've just been—"

"—We know you've been busy! You don't need to say it, we all have been busy!," Seonghwa stared at Hongjoong, the sudden outburst unexpected. "But... That was a yes?" Hongjoong sat up straighter, his eyes wide and sparkling. How cute.

...Cute?

"Yes, I will be there Joongie, don't worry," Hongjoong jumped up, startling Seonghwa. He grabbed Seonghwas hands and held the tight, smiling brightly.

"After school, meet up at the front gates, do not be a single minute late!" And as quickly as Hongjoong had showed up, he ran off, barreling through the library doors with a bang, the librarian looking at Seonghwa with a frown while the boy stared at his hands, caught off guard by what Hongjoong had done.

He traced his left hand with his right, and his right with his left, eyes wide as he felt the tingles in his hands slowly dissipate. He felt somewhat... giddy. A rush from when Hongjoong had touched him. Seonghwa felt heat rise on his cheeks.

And while his body was still riding the high of the moment, from when Hongjoong held his hands, to his bright smiles directed at him, he couldn't help but think 'Oh no'.

***************************

It was a stormy day, and Seonghwa was stuck in his dorm. His roommate had left earlier, telling Seonghwa that he was visiting his parents for the week. So here Seonghwa was, alone in his dorm, a storm playing out right in front of him, and his hands curled around a cup full of hot chocolate as he lived carelessly for the week off. What more could he ask for?

He sipped his hot beverage, humming in content as he swirled the hot chocolate in his mouth, savouring the taste.

As he reminisced in the moment, his phone chimed. Seonghwa turned his head towards his phone, glancing at the notification on the lock screen. He leant over, grabbing the phone and unlocking it. He clicked on the notification, which was a message, and read it.

hehet

would u be free rn?

Seonghwa stared at the message eyebrows furrowed before sighing and putting his hot chocolate down.

pluto

yes I would, why?

also, why pluto

hehet

cuz u aint real 😍😍😌

pluto

what

pluto is real sangie

its just not a planet

sangie.

hehet

omfg stop bullying me

hehet changed pluto's name to bully!

bully

youre insufferable

hehet

u love it

ok anyway what i actually came here for

so ur actually free to do anythin today??

bully

yes sangie, im free today

why, did something happen? do you need me to come over and hang out?

hehet

no no, dw

just needed to make sure so everything goes according to plan

ok so anyway

come meet us at yunhos dorm, were havin a mini movie party n meeting some of his friends!!

bully

oh?

what kind of movies? and what kind of friends?

hehet

idk but not horror thats all i know!! i remember yunho sayin he wanted to watch some disney or nostalgic films so theres that

also !! do not worry abt the friends!!

they r super kind n funny, youll love em :]

bully

youve already met them? thats kind rude :/

hehet

it was by accident :[[

i went over to yunhos to give him back a hoodie he left at our last study sess @ my dorm n i met em!!

it was only for a minute, i was rushin since i was late to class

bully

hmm... ok, ill accept it

what time will it be then?

hehet

at 4 and if yunhos roomate does end up coming home early from his mini trip, itll end at 10, but if not, we can stay the night

bully

not to be rude, but i really hope his roommate does not come back to the dorms until later tomorrow

hehet

same

knowing us, we'd just pass out on the couch anywaybully

ok u guys will, im responsible

hehet

sounds pretty fake ngl :///

bully

ok then, i shall go back to what i was doing before you messaged me

hehet

wait seonghwa i wanna keep talkin im bored :[[

seonghwa??

seongie??

ddeonghwa????

: [

***************************

It was an hour before Seonghwa had to leave. He had just gotten out of the shower, mostly wiped down, but his hair was still dripping.

He shook his head, feeling his hair stick to his face and water droplets fly everywhere. He brought up the towel to his head and vigorously dried his hair.

After drying himself down, he got dressed. Nothing extravagant or formal, but something comfortabe and simple. It was practically a sleep over he was invited to, after all.

It was now 15 minutes till Seonghwa would have to be at Yunho's. He know walking to Yunho's dorm would take at least 10 minutes, since it was not on the other side of campus, but a far bit away.

Seonghwa went through his mental checklist. Phone, check. Charger, check. Earphones, check. Small over the shoulder bag full of snacks, a pair of spare clothes, and an apparent rose flavoured lip balm, check.

At the thought of the lip balm, he licked his lips. His lips had been dry during the week from the cold weather, so he took up Yeosangs advice on picking up one or two lip balms. Of course, he bought the only ones that were supposedly to be what a flower would taste like. He picked up the lip balm, applying it to his lips and smacking them together before putting it back.

He checked the time.

12 minutes left.

He grabbed all his things, his keys jingling in his hands and a dmall umbrella in his pockets. He opened his dorm door, exiting and locking the door before finally leaving the dorm building. He grabbed his umbrella, opening it up once he stepped foot outside, wlaking along the footpath, frowning when he noticed the mud making its way across the path.

He sighed as the rain started to pour harder, his grip tightening on his umbrella.

He did not want to walk back to his dorm through this weather.

***************************

He made it to Yunho's dorm a bit later than he had expected. His shoes were caked in mud, and no, he did not slip in mud, he just wanted to be like Peppa Pig for a fleeting moment.

He knocked on Yunho's door, wiping his shoes off at the mat and taking them off. He shook his umbrella, the water flying everywhere. Maybe he should ahve done that outside, but it was too late now.

The door opened, revealing Yeosang who just pouted.

"You're late," Seonghwa pushed past Yeosang, dropping his umbrella near the door and placing his shoes near the rest. There's definitely a few new pairs there, either Yunho got more shoes, or his friends are already here.

"You try walking here in this weather," A few laughs were heard in the distance. Yep, definitely here.

Yeosang shook his head, closing and locking the door. He turned to Seonghwa, grabbing his hand and dragging him towards lounge.

"So, what's happened so far?"

"Nothing much! Just been playing some switch waiting for you," Yeosang stopped as they made it to the lounge. "Look who's here!" Seonghwa looked at the three men that were on the couch, all three watching the TV as they battled in MarioKart.

"Is it Seonghwa?" Yunho asked before he crossed the finish line, jumping up and laughing.

"I win!" The man sat on the right of Yunho crossed the line next, pointing to the man that sat on the left of Yunho, laughing.

"And you're last!" The man on the left sighed, corssing the line.

"Wow, that was so fun," Yunho laughed, the man that came second now standing up and turning around. Huh, almost as tall as Yunho.

"Let me introduce them to you, Hwa?" The man on the left, stood up, but still didnt turn around. Quite short, thats cute.

"This," Yunho gestured towards the taller man out of the two newcomers. "Is Mingi," The man now identified as Mingi waved his hand, a smile plastered on his face.

"And this," Yunho reached over to the smaller man, grabbibg his shoulder and forcefully turning him around. "Is—"

For a moment, the world stopped.

For a moment, their eyes met.

For a moment, they were seeing eachother again.

"—Hongjoong?" Seonghwa blurted out, cutting off Yunho. The shorter man, now known as Hongjoong, shared a similar expression to Seonghwa, yes wide and mouth agape.

Holding hands, watching as the sun set over the horizon, the light painting his face, his eyes sparkling.

"Seonghwa?" Yunho looked between the two, confusion plastered all over his face.

Bright smiles, warm laughs. Soft lips, peppered kisses.

"You two knew eachother?" Seonghwa nodded, at a loss for words as he stared at the boy infront of him.

"Thats so cool! It's like it's fate for you two to meet again," Yunho exclaimed. "But come on, we gotta get ready for our movie marathon, its half hour past the time we were supise to start!"

***************************

It was around midnight that Seonghwa finally couldnt take the awkwardness around him and Hongjoong. He got up from his spot on the floor, making his way to the kitchen and flicked on the light, going to grab a drink and a snack from his bag.

As he trifled through his bag, finding the pack of chips he craved for, he turned around and almost felt his soul leave his body.

There was Hongjoong, standing right in front of him.

He had to hold back a scream.

"Woah! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," Hongjoong threw his hands up, taking a step back.

Seonghwa gained back his thoughts, the adrenaline dissipating.

"Do you need something?" He asked. He watched as Hongjoong suddenly became nervous, looking down at his feet. He has red hair... it looks... fluffy.

"I-I just... I kinda wanted to talk to you?" Seonghwa felt heat rise to his cheeks as he ran through the possibilities of just what Hongjoong would possibly say.

"About what?"

Silence overtook the two for a moment. Then Hongjoong spoke up.

"About... why you left," Seonghwa shifted his body, suddenly feeling so small. "Why you never contacted us," He felt shame slowly seep through his body. "Why you... never contacted... me," He looked down at his feet.

No one spoke for a minute, both thinking, both waiting.

"I never did get my scholarship..." Hongjoong looked up at Seonghwa, eyes wide.

"Wha—"

"I passed the exam for it, but by the time the people giving out the scholarship had marked it, all the scholarships had been given away,"

Seonghwa felt tears begin to pool in his eyes.

"I was so disappointed in myself, I didnt want you all to see me," He inhaled shaky breath, emotions coming back as he relived the moment in his mind. "So I just told you all that I got in and... left,"

He felt Hongjoong take his hands, caressing them softly. Like he used too.

"Why did you never talk to me after? You didnt even tell me you wanted to break up," Hongjoongs voice broke near the end. "You just went... radio silent," Seonghwa couldn't help the tear that ran down his face.

"I never wanted to break up," Seonghwa squeezed Hongjoongs hands. "I just— I wanted time, time to fix things, so i could say I was attending college, that I wasn't a fuck up..." He felt Hongjoong squeeze his hands back, he heard how the other boy sniffled. He must be crying too.

"Seonghwa, listen to me," Suddenly, Hongjoong was cupping his face, his hands so soft, and his eyes looking straight into Seonghwas soul. "You are not a fuck up, you hear me?"

"I'm sorry," His voice broke, tears now streaming down his face, one after the other. Hongjoong had tears slipping down his face himself. He lifted his thumb, wiping some tears off Seonghwas face.

"It's okay, I forgive you, HwaHwa," Seonghwa couldn't help but let a whine escape him at the nickname.

"HwaHwa! You're so cute!"

Hongjoong laughed wetly at the reaction.

"You'd think i forget what that nickname did to you," He stroked Seonghwas cheek lovingly, smiling fondly at Seonghwa, and Seonghwa couldnt help but feel his previous worries disappear just looking at him.

Seonghwa buried his face into Hongjoongs neck and threw his arms around Hongjoongs shoulders, letting another embarrassed whine escape him.

Hongjoong laughed at the action, snaking his arms around Seonghwas waist. They both stayed in that position for a few minutes, iust enjoying the company, the warmth. Enjoying eachother.

Hongjoong threw his arms over Seonghwas neck, pulling him down to give him a strong hug.

"Your hugs are the best, Joongie,"

Seonghwa felt Hongjoong shift, his hold on Seonghwa loosening. He felt a hand coursing through his hair, the action sending shivers down his spine, and a blush on his cheeks.

"I've missed this," Hongjoong whispered. Seonghwa picked his head back up, looking at Hongjoong.

"I did too," Hongjoong smiled.

Hongjoong raised his hand, putting it under Seonghwas chin and slowly pulling him down back towards him. Soon enough, their noses were touching, and they could feel eachothers breaths fan eachothers faces.

It took just a moment for Seonghwa to understand what Hongjoong wanted to do.

He looked to Hongjoongs eyes, noticing how they flickered back up to his then fown to his lips. Seonghwa did the same, his gaze lowering down to Hongjoongs own plush lips.

Seonghwa unconsciously licked his own.

"Can I..." Hongjoong trailed off, but Seonghwa knew what he was asking. He nodded his head, feeling Hongjoong pull him closer.

Then he felt Hongjoongs lips on his.

And suddenly, he felt like he was back in high school. When Hongjoong would sneak up on him in the bathrooms to give him a few wuick pecks on the lips before running away. When Hongjoonga arms would wrap around his his waist, pulling him into his lap, and even if Seonghwa was the taller one out of them, Hongjoong would always find a way to make Seonghwa feel small and safe in his arms.

He felt light again, like all his problems had been thrown away. He felt like the weight he carried had been lifted.

Seonghwa broke the kiss first, gasping for air, breathless. His lips a shade of bright pink

Hongjoong just stared at the boy, breath taken at the sight before him.

Hongjoong pulled Seonghwa back down again, both diving in for a kiss, each one more heated than the last.

Soon enough, both broke away, catching their breathe as they were pushed against eachother.

"I've wanted to do that for so long since then. I've missed it sso much," Hongjoong panted out.

"Me too," Seonghwa took a hold of Hongjoongs hands, looping his fingers between his own.

"This means that, you know," Hongjoong was anxious again, eyes flicking from Seonghwa to the floor. "That we'll do this again... right? That—"

"That we'll be back together?" Seonghwa cut in, heart beating fast at what Hongjoong was asking.

"Yes," Hongjoong looked up at Seonghwa, still nervous on what the answer would be.

And Seonghwa couldn't have answered more perfectly.

"Of course," Seonghwa dived back in for another kiss, this one not heated, but filled with something more deeper. He broke the kiss, burying his face in Hongjoongs neck. "Of course,"

"I love you," Seonghwa felt his heart stutter.

"I love you too," Hongjoong smiled, pulling Seonghwa towards him.

"Forever," Hongjoong whispered.

"Always," Seonghwa whispered back.

[coolspacequips]

How do you draw natural hair???? I can't find a solid reference that isn't just "draw individual strands" or "make blocks and nothing else"

omg thats a tricky question, tbh, anon!!! and also tbh this answer got longer than i expected... i dont rly have the Art Language to rly teach anything v well so uhh i just threw a bunch of stuff in here

ive never made a tutorial, and i dont rly have the time to do one atm, but HERE is a pretty decent one i see floating around from time to time, and HERE is one that loosely goes over some dos/donts of drawing black features, and mentions hair as well. theres a particular one i think is rly good that i cant find, unfortunately, but oh well

the first guide i linked gives a pretty neat rundown of a few things to keep in mind, namely:

texture types

hairline!!

lighting

colors/undertones

just like w straight hair, the first thing to consider is the hairline and HOW the hair falls, which may seem intimidating bc of the natural beautiful voluminousness of black hair, but rly isnt as hard as it seems. 

i think ppl are often intimidated by learning to draw curly hair out of this feeling that they have to render each strand/curl and flyaway, but when ur doing art youre trying to CONVEY something, not render a picture perfect image. you can translate the curl, volume, and texture of hair without fully rendering it, the same way that u can translate the swish and fall of straight hair without having to draw every single strand, but ya, you cant rly draw ‘blocks’ with no nuance or defining features and hope to communicate the same thing

it might be useful to kind of envision it as drawing layers. like, the way that you wear layers of lace and crinoline to give size and volume to a skirt. this applies for rly picturing most styles, but w curly hair in particular its a good way to imagine how/why the volume builds the way it does

this is just a scribble to illustrate my point lol, but u wanna get the shape and stuff down!! when its shorter, it sticks up into those cute, curly afros and bobs, and when its long it gets heavy and the curls tend to droop down more. btw, shrinkage refers 2 the way that ur hair shrinks up from the curls themselves, so keep that in mind when it comes to the hair length that youre drawing, also! if the girl i drew had wet hair, itd probs go to the middle/bottom of her shoulder blades, despite being shoulder length when curled

ur best tool is reference! look at pictures of black hair in different styles. its like, the most versatile hair in the world, u can curl it and shape it and braid it, hell, afro textured hair can be sculpted into just about anything, broaden ur scope of what you think black hair can be!!! and dont just draw sleek 4c ringlet curls and call it a day!! also, get more comfortable drawing the shape of a bald head, dont hide behind hair. itll help you draw all hair and features better, but especially will help w faded styles, braids, and of course shaved heads

reference doesnt have to just be pictures, tho, bc it can be hard to know where to start. look at how other BLACK artists draw black hair, and take note!! focus on what they thought needed to be included to get the point across, what silhouette the hairstyles have, where they draw curls, where they draw parts in the hair, how they highlight and what shapes they make. give braids and locs a try-- its not as hard as it might seem, but it takes practice to get it right!!

if u have a more realistic style, its def worth getting further into the nitty gritty of just how all of those curls come together, im just talking more about the shape and how it translates in a p basic way, especially since i have a more cartoony style afiowejaioej im also still learning!! 

im sure u have all seen asieybarbie’s stuff floating around on tumblr thru the years, and she is one of my Big Inspirations when it comes to drawing varied black hair AND skintones (which she has a tutorial about lol), and HERE is a little sketchpage she posted once that has a small variety of both. some are more rendered, while some are big blocks of color broken up by highlights and loose curls on the edges to define the shape of the hair, and note w the locs how u can see her scalp between the parts in her hair

if u have a simple or comic style u can still convey black hair, either as a block of shape w defining features, or by drawing out the texture of the curls and strands, like this

(first two are old, finished comics lol, and hey look 2 black wlw!!!!! tiger tiger is something ive been working my way thru, but is recent, ongoing, and cute and funny and inspiring lmao. notably tho none of these are black artists :c ive been out of the web comics game for a minute and tiger tiger is the first one ive read in a while lmao)

***its girlswithslingshots.com, made a typo!! 

also when i think mainstream comics, the first character w natural hair that comes to mind is my wife gwendolyn from saga who i couldnt not mention

on the left her curls are more rendered, its cover art, notice how the light hits the curls and the way that they curls end, which is simplified to the right image a lot of the time in the main body of the comic!

and idk ive said too much already, but hopefully that helps!! im just kind of rambling at this point lol, but research and reference and practice are rly the best thing, and looking at other art of respectfully portrayed black characters

[dykecassidy]

1 9 10 12 17 18 19 20 27 30 for the writing ask meme! pick and choose tho if u dont wanna do all/any of em!

writer asks

1.  Do you listen to music when you write?

yes! it cant be new stuff, though. it has to be well listened to, familiar, bc otherwise i start paying attention to the lyrics and thinking of stuff other than what im writing.

9.    Current WIP

like as in open right now, is chapter 17 of wyw. i got like 5 paragraphs.

10. Do you set yourself deadlines?

i try to? i dont have much success with that. i need to have the outside expectation, like i told someone i would write it for them and i said i could do it in a certain time frame. i do pretty good with the twbb and twrpzine deadlines, tho i am still usually crunched at the end.

12 answered!!

17.  What writing habits or rituals do you have?

i outline so so so much. i love it. i do it when i dont want to commit to starting an idea, when i feel i cant write it fully, when i just want it down and out as quick as possible. its just bullet points and “so like”. its just spitballing with myself. i can [whatever] the perfect word until later, i can “so he was like ‘lmao’” bc i know what that dialogue feels like, i can commentate about how wild it is, and note about how i need to fix it.

18. If you could collaborate with anyone, who would it be, and what would you write about?

funnily enough i was searching my blog for archie and i found a post i tagged them in about a kind of challenge where you alternate chapters and try to write completely different genres, wrestling the story from one another.

i also constantly want to collab with all my friends that write; me, foleh, and lula are almost kind of constantly working collaboratively and very rarely “formally writing”. i wanna do comedy action with emma, where sung shrieks and everyone stares. i wanna do Weird fuckshit with cleo where havve is.... havve and phobos is phogoin’.

19. How do you keep yourself motivated?

i get excited about what im making! i get excited about making a story and seeing the end, and sharing that snippet of a world with other people.

20. How many WIPs and story ideas do you have?

ddont do this to me

in terms of like, pure outlines? things i have plotted out? like. im gonna low ball and say at least a dozen. even things i have no intentions of actually finishing, things that are like parts of a larger series (wyw and next big au). 

i have many many story ideas; i have a folder of notes on my phone thats just ‘fic’ and its inspiration, seeds, drawings for things. a lot of them are vague ideas, dialogue snippets, even just lyrics. idk what ill do with them, but theyre there.

27. Favourite line/scene

ohh.

okay i scrolled down gdocs and picked something at random. i picked a fic from the v creatively named ‘angel au’. 

A mop of golden brown hair, curls sticking up, bedhead. Big dark eyes looking at Rob, on a face covered with freckles, almost glowing, almost glittery. Rob’s hand on their face, his skin looking light and rosy next to theirs. Their mouth moved, the same shapes over and over, head shaking. 

“It’s okay,” [Josh] could hear Rob say, “just go slow. I’m here.”

30. Favourite idea you haven’t started on yet

my next human au!!! im keeping to kind of the same theme, where only one (1) member of tarp is actually a human, and this time around itll be phobos. Sung is his dog, who is still perfectly named doctor sung bc cmon thats a rly good dog name and hes like a corgie/retriever/mutt mix. i have 3 chapters outline at least partially, the first one half started, and im deliberately being tight lipped on it.

[hisui-cotton]

RWBY V6E11 Theorizing and Reactions

Sorry it's a wall of text

Firstly GOD I HATE ADAM, IM SO HAPPY!!

Knowing that he really at this point- no matter what happened to him, even if he didnt deserve whatever it was that happened to him in the past- will absolutely deserve what Yang and Blake are gonna dish out, is fantastic.

I was pretty surprised about the face reveal actually I genuinely thought itd just never happen. But I'm happy it did because now I have some serious concerns about the world of Remnant.

It feels possible that Adam's semblance is actually artificial and brought on by whatever people branded him at the SDC. I doubt he was born with his sword, and it's safe to assume it's only his sword that works with his semblance since he always has it. Thus I think the SDC probably experimented on him and tested the possiblity or artificial semblances that they could make specifically to "enchnace" people for maybe a cause of some sort, in a way that ensured they'd always have the best possible fighters with the best semblances. Or the best dust test subjects.

That or the weapon has to be passed down through his family and the interest peaked people who research semblances so they poked and prodded him to figure out how his semblance worked.

Or he was just a SDC slave.

And if the artificial semblance was successful, could there be a chance that Mercury will one day be subject to it? Or find out and become interested?

And what kinda of people do something like that to a possible generation of faunus? Even if you don't see them as people, even if you see them as animals, theres got to be some moral kick at some point that tells you that you're the monster and not them. It's likely people of Atlas, who believe in the military power they have and likely want to sustain assisted by the SDC. Or a group that existed in the SDC and then was brought down with the early growth of the initial White Fang, maybe even before that and was a reason the White Fang came to exist.

Bumblebee moving to the possible canon is fantastic though I dont know how likely itll become full out canon right now, but maybe. I mean that with every hope that it will be, I just think that after this they'll simply be closer and feel better about their relationship before going "yes I am romantically interested in you".

But in all hopes I want that ship to SAIL NOW!!! WITH IT BEING SAID STRAIGHT UP! I love the hand hold, I love the togetherness so just say it straight up soon, I don't need a kiss I just need to hear the confirmation.

((As much as I also love Black Sun. Dont @ me please I'm a person who crack ships all the things in a pure AU world where anything is possible I'm sorry))

The fighting was top notch btw, the emotional investment is there and the coordination is so good!! I loved the use of smears and stretch, especially since this is 3D, I do wish the fighting was backed up just a liiiiiittle bit but I understood the use of character expression during the fight too. It just didn't feel like every hit was very big, just very strong so it looked kinda odd? Like you couldn't see much of the wind up while they were moving, only the speed of the attacks. When you did see more of the wind up it was just while they were still. It was still obvious the strength in each hit it just felt kinda off at minor points. Mainly with Blake v Adam.

Adam v Yang though WHEW I WAS GONNA CRY! She was doing really well she didn't flinch during the fight which I found suprising at first and then the hand shaking came in and I noticed that it's only her left, that's ever done it, and i wonder if that just because it has nerves or if she thinks that's something will happen to that one too. Or maybe it's just a general unconsciousness thing with the trauma of losing her other hand (the PTSD of it). But she still took the fight really well and I'm happy she is really learning to control her fighting its absolutely great growth, because while she's fighting with emotion, she's staying calm and not fighting in anger but more in...determination...to protect Blake and I'm sure she knows that things can't be going well at the cliff so she's trying to see the quickest way to finish this for their sake and the others.

Now speaking of the cliff. White Roooose, Flower Pooower, JAUNE BOI WITH THEM PRO STRATS, Qrow and Ren working together was actually unexpected, and Oscar and Maria in the plane has me scared af.

Grandma Atlas (bc I cant remember her name) is very confident in herself, and I would have though that silly if she didn't somehow make the mech move fast enough to catch that missle?? I, tbh, didnt like that but I'll give then the anime fight moment, itll be my one for the season (which is pretty good since there's only one more episode I think).

Maria is too loose of a canon, I literally cannot believe she just mentioned having her drivers license revoked and now shes flying ship. Itll be fine since she pretty much has the ships view but jeez Maria.

Ruby knowing that Weiss would be useful in the fight on the ocean means that she and Jaune are probably thinking very similarly about how to handle the fight. Jaune explaining the fight and reassuring it tells me he was thinking about how to fight it the moment it started approaching.

Jaune grabbing Nora was incredible, like back in V1 or V2 I never would have thought he could do something like that just out off the top of his head. But I think that also says something about how scared he is to lose another teammate. He was pushed away by Phyrra, could only watch initially when Weiss got hurt, but now he feels the strength he needed all those times and dived head first in protecting his teammate over just himself when he saw danger coming.

Oscar's analysis of fighting is likely getting good or getting influenced mildly by Oz's trained eye for that kind of thing.

Weiss's wasp was maybe overused just a tiny bit. I feel like if they amped her aura/semblance, created a surface, and then went with her knight, things would have been a bit easier. Or maybe harder? She and Jaune might have used too much and KO'd themselves if her knight wasn't enough and then they'd just be in the same spot.

MY PRECIOUS DAUGHTER RUBY!!! BETTER BE OKAY!!!!!!! She was fighting really well, but I was also surprised by that she took at the glass, she was out for blood with a shot like that. She used her semblance more than I expected but I guess again a giant mech what's she gonna do.

Nora getting back HER MAN!!! THAT WAS A GREAT LINE AND NORA IS THE GREATEST EVER thank you.

I hope the town doesn't get attacked by Grimm because they're scared of this ruckus the kids are causing.

Also based on the title of this episode are you trying to say that Grandma Atlas is the little old lady who lives in a shoe!

Umm....I guess that's all I have thoughts about? I dont feel like I missed anything that I had a big reaction to.

I look forward to the final ep, whenever that'll be (I think it's this coming sat. But idk) and then after that GEN:lock. But this season has been so satisfying to watch even if it feels like I dont really remember everything (though I'm sure that's from personal problems not anything with the story).

[dead-thorin]

everything im gonna write is gonna be concerning but it be like that and its really not concerning

for like months now i haven’t been ok. And like it’s gotten worse with the holidays and ive been so fucking angry and tired lol. like at first i was like its fine its ok, then i was like its the hormones it happens, then its the stress of finals and work but like its really not like i legit just dont want to be alive anymore im really tired of it. Like idk how to convey just how much i dont care anymore to be alive

1) I feel so fucking isolated here like i have friends but a majority of them are cis. And like the trans people i know? most of them on T are non binary which like valid, but they dont get the full extent. And like their families support them lmao and theres one person i could talk to but he doesnt seem to want to socialize much so i always feel awful thinking about hitting him up

and like i feel like my friends dont like me and i know thats not the case but also maybe it is!!! who fucking knows anymore!!!! i dont have time to talk to them bc im so busy at work and then i get home and immediately have to do more work and by the time im free this week theyll be home for break so like!!! fuck i guess!!! i saw one of my friends who i havent been able to see all semester and she said shed hit me up today and she hasnt and i know its cause she and another friend have to study and theyve been busy but in my mind its still “she fucking hates u!!! doesnt matter that she was so excited to see u and would definitely have no qualms in telling u to fuck off she hates u!!!”

2) no one listens to me lol like people listen to me when i rant, which is really helpful and i really appreciate and love that they do that bc emotional labor, but like in groups? i talk and people interrupt or dont hear what i say or disregard it and im like k. OR THEY THINK IM FUCKING JOKING LIKE THIS LEGIT IS SUCH A PROBLEM AND IVE HAD IT HAPPEN WITH SEVERAL PPL AND IDK WHAT TO DO. Like i physically say “im really not joking dont do that” AND THEY STILL THINK IM JOKING

and whenever i talk to people and they give me advice or just listen they do at least one thing. They either mention medicine, which again, valid, but i dont want to go back on medicine right now. But then they fucking push that shit and demand reasons why i dont want to like fuck u i dont have to explain shit to u i just dont want to. And/or it turns into me educating them and im just like great! i managed to do labor in this trying time! nice!

3) I cant talk to my therapist bc shell become concerned lol. i told her how i went to the labor looking for a book about the pros and cons of committing suicide and researched it and i had to talk for 10 minutes afterwards about the steps i was taking to help combat it but like i was legit scared to tell her in case she made me go into inpatient care lmao and this brings me to pt 4

4) theres like nothing here LMAOOOOOOO like no books at either library about stopping suicidal thoughts or helping depression or about family estrangement. I had to order books from different libraries to get something and theres a few that i got from the Libby app but like wtf lmao and theres no events during christmas and every volunteer thing? either i gotta fill out an application and do training which who knows how long thatll take or i need a car. Like there legit isnt anything here i did so much looking lmao like i have my hobbies but that wont make me leave the house

i talked to a professor about this shit too and he understands and stuff and told me to hit him up during break if i feel isolated but like I FEEL SO FUCKING GUILTY FOR EVEN BREATHING LMAO LIKE WHAT hes got shit to do too and i know he has research going on so like doubt it

5) im gonna die alone at this pt and i know thats mad dramatic and also probably false but im like so conflicted about everything i feel with my gender and dating

like every time i like a man im like wow if i was a girl, this wouldnt be a problem and like being cis has more privileges than being trans but i know last time i dated in the closet it wasnt a good time SO

and every time i like a girl, im like she prob wont see me as a man or will be disappointed in my body or transition

and like no matter who im interested in, the same thought is always “they prob dont see me as a man and will misgender me, even unintentionally” like i know people who dont even know my birth name and have known my pronouns as he/him AND THEY STILL GET IT WRONG LIKE WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO EVEN DO ANYMORE TATTOO IT ON MY FUCKING FOREHEAD 

theres a guy i currently like, whos so sweet like theres one incident that happened that i had me thinking damn.... hope hes into guys and single..... and like its kept me up thinking “oh man hes definitely str8 this fucking sucks if i was a girl i would probably have a shot” but like every time i toy with the idea of detransitioning (not in a serious way, but just like casually thinking of a scenario) my mind physically rejects it and is like “motherfucking do u wanna go back to THOSE shitty feelings??? really??? it was worse before!!” and i will definitely get over this crush, like im just lonely and its cuffing season, but it fucking sucks in the meantime like i feel like i cant date because im too nervous and scared to!!! im so scared they wont think im a man and i know thats not every person but like Jesus its enough that its a good possibility

6) this part is sad but i think i have to stop talking to my sister or at least give her limited info bc shes having her parents contact me through her and im not giving them shit so...

like she just texted asking when id be home and for the millionth time (BC NO ONE LISTENS TO ME) i said i wasnt going home, im never going home, stop asking and i know that its them asking her to ask me and they can honestly fuck themselves

like these are all problems that have solutions and i know the solutions but like im so tired of it lol im tired of having to deal with my family situation, im tired of being ignored and interrupted and not taken serious and having to explain my boundaries over and over and over again, im tired of not being able to talk to people for fear of getting hospitalized or interrupted or pushed onto meds, im tired of not having resources, im so tired of it all. Im so sick of being suicidal and not even being able to get out of bed and having to deal with being depressed and anxious and chronically ill fuck all of it

legitimately had to make a list of shit i could do over break so that i feel like i cant hurt myself until i finish it bc thats how my shit brain works. like i dont want to die but i also just dont want to deal with this anymore and i know itll get better in time but jesus fucking christ its been 8 damn years when does it actually get fully fucking good? its gotten better but more shit keeps coming up like yea i started hormones but now i dont have a fucking family anymore. 

Even if i didnt have this list i wouldnt do it bc 1) i dont want to do that to my closest friend and 2) im helping someone get out of an abusive situation. She has like no support, just one cousin whos there for her, but he doesnt have resources for her. Ive been listening to her and validating her and making sure she knows that a) this is the type of shit abusers do and b) shes not fucking crazy for thinking certain things!!! she really isnt and i get it so much so ive been gently giving her contacts from the beginning to help her and she finally left and is in a really delicate place. So like not exactly the best thing for me to suddenly be gone and id feel terrible if she had no one there for her

anyway this was a long post that can basically be summed up as i really want to fucking kill myself but i wont but also im suffering a lot

[haeroniel-doliet]

Turns out its a helluva mess when i start messing beyond flat colors!! Might be a sign to not do so much again (but yet .. practice to get to where im one day happy??)

Like ive done as much as i know how to do at this point in time to the portraits (still gratuitously bloody shame on me :') ) oh except for a background bc WHAT does one DO for a character shoulders up portrait background??? Settled for now on a gradient old school photo style lmao

I like the fix it one as is, a lot (but also i liked the lineart for the portraits better i think) and idk, imngonna try give it a light bit of shadows and lights, maybe step away from a lot of blending bc i think i think thats where i went wrong on the other one

Like, they look fine, but they also look. Meh. Like ive used too much blur tool (i havent, i tried using kritas wet brush thing and it looks....ok close up but the effect is no good when zoomed out like posting size APPARENTLY) and its all noncommittally washy.

(cont'd over thinking)

Am i gonna 'render' them a third time??? Do i have the mental strength?? Bc i think maybe trying for something not so, "realistic" could do me better, like a little more cell shady. But also i dont?? I dont know how to cell shade? I dont watch anime or cartoons v much and my style isnt that cartoony or clean lined?

Maybe on the fix it i can try a more....... Conservative and less blended shade/highlights? (And if i like it/learn smth new go back and re re do the portraits same style) I also just. Idk. How does one make it not look so. Flat and meh?? Im doing basic color stuff ok i think, ive got a bit of texture but its still? Eh???

Honestly i could just post them and move on but i dunno, i have the energy to problem solve a lil bit so why not?? (Not tonight. Im gonna sleep on this all)

Why post shit im not 100% proud of? (Ngl kinda been in the mood to take down that first sketch of the fix it bc it looks nowhere near as good as what i fixed it up to but ....... Ah fuck it i was happy w it when i did it so eh)

Why why why oh why is art so hard?????????

I wanna try and become one of those cool artists who post multiple fun things yknow, like u get inspired and can draw it beginning to post in one evening! Im probably way over thinking and pushing myself to some standard of unrealistic perfection i have for myself...

(also i like thumbnail doodled out like, all these things i wanna draw for a really nice fic i read and even after editing some i have like 8 bits i wanna draw?? 4 as like a mini comic bc i havent done one since i was a child and i think itd be kinda rad if i learned to draw short comics for fic scenes i like??? But yeah basically in one inktober post there would only be 5 ideas (a lil more complicated on average i do give for granted but like. Those took me WEEKS) but yeah i just. I wanna draw them. Even if itll probably take me for fuckin ever... (And i didnt even finish off the last two inktober batches, oh. And i have a uni thesis to do ew) .... I wanna push myself to draw faster (less iterations to get it right) and so i can have rly solid and good and quickly done drawings to then color in as i learn to for future?)

Ugh man. You know what i need to do/shouldve been doing before i jumped into coloring original stuff?? I shouldve done colored studies. Like ive been drawing scenes both from reference and original on the inktobers and i think thats why my drawing/character stuff has gotten decent. I really should just whip out like prettily colored movie screencaps and work on painting studies of them. That would really fix up why i cant figure out lights and shadows and blending in coloring! No horrid tutorials just figuring out how can i make it work for me

And you know? You know what it is okay to have pieces that are from before i figured it out right? Im gonna try a slightly different thing for the fix its (if i hate it, theyre good as flat colors too) and yes they dont have a background either please love of god someone tell me how to add random backgrounds bc im not in the mood of scene building further but they float in off white space atm.

If i learn smth ground breaking and can QUICKLY do a bette rendition of the portraits, sure the perfectionist wins. But maybe just maybe. It would be fine to post them as they are. Yea, they look roughly as lifeless as my first big painting/that dinluke poster redraw. And maybe thats okay. Because hi if i do dedicate to doing like a good few color focused studies of star wars scenes as a treat i can come back stronger and have a better piece???? Its about growth babes. YEA

Alright i said to myself thats it in gonna go sleep on it and continue tomorro but. I thought id slip in here a secret surprise for anyone unfortunate enough to have clicked read more... And i got a little whiplash opening the picture bc it looks. SO WRONG but the more you look at it its like ... Fine. Ok judge for urself and tell me pls, first and second attempts at 'rendering' the portraits (the darker bground was the first attempt just going by gut, the lighter one after trying to watch like 1 tutorial and using more brushes and just generally trying rly hard!!)

yes ive clearly fixed issues in the sketch differently in both so they... look... like different expressions?? idk man idk idk idk see now this small they look differently off!! god the curse of the zoom in and out and perception.