#also i didn't mean to make my first sentence a title. it was just supposed to be the first sentence. oops

[oveliagirlhaditright]

That moment when you finish reading book four of The Zarryiostrom series, and realize it's better than A Song of Ice and Fire.

And I've always loved The Zarryiostrom series and thought it was pretty close to being as good as ASoIaF--or just as good as it--but damn, do I think it just surpassed it for me.

(I actually fell behind on The Zarryiostrom series for a good while there, because the series has such pretty art in it. And all of the books until book four had had printed and kindle versions--and I had the printed versions, which I prefer because I feel you can see the art better there than on your small phone screen, of course. But for the longest time with book four, there was only a kindle version... and I kept holding out hope that they'd release a printed version of it, and they finally did.)

[lilahisntsadanymore]

Blood status seems to become less important when you acknowledge the actual feeling of love. What will Theo do when Y/n comes to the terms with the differences between them being impossible to ignore?

Pairing: Theo Nott x granger!reader

Words count: 1.9k

Author's note: My apologies for keeping you waiting so long, but I finally got some time off at uni!! Wishing you all a good year!!

Kind of a 2nd part of this fic, but you can read it without the previous one

≫ ──── ««•◦ ✪ ◦•»» ──── ≪

Keep you safe

One evening, Theo was waiting in the library. Waiting for a person he never expected to talk to. Y/n Granger. He found himself feeling a bit nervous, even though there was no reason.

Thinking about Y/n made him feel something. A feeling he never felt before. Slughorn said it's love, the muggle kind of love, the purest form, not induced by anything supernatural.

Theo decided to read about it. Hoping to find some book about it, he asked the librarian. She gave him a book specifically about love potions and spells. One of the first chapters was just what Theo was looking for.

"How to tell the difference between love and infatuation caused by magic." He whispered the first sentence to himself.

He started reading, his mind realizing what he got himself into as his gaze brushed over the text. Well, technically it wasn't his own fault and apparently also not the girl's fault.

But there must've been a reason. If love was a part of biology, brain chemistry, there had to be some logical factor.

"What are you reading?"

When Theo heard Y/n's voice right next to him, he immediately closed the book, causing it to make a loud sound.

"You took such a long time I got bored." He replied.

"Don't be so shy," the girl shifted her eyes to the title of the book, "oh, love potions and spells? But we're doing something completely different."

"Really? I couldn't care less, forgot what we were supposed to do." Surely one thing he'd love to do was making out with her on that table.

Y/n put her homework on the table.

"Read it and tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing is wrong, I just-"

"What's wrong with my text, Nott. I didn't ask how you were doing."

"Right."

Theo took the papers and started reading. The text was written with the most beautiful handwriting he's ever seen. So elegant, so precise.

"How long did it take you to write?" He asked.

"One evening. It was easier than you'd think."

"I think it's extremely easy." He bragged. "Anyway, is that all? Or do you wanna add something?"

"Well, Slughorn thought it's necessary for you to help me. Is there anything you think should be added?"

"Uh, no, it looks fine," he mumbled, avoiding eye contact.

"Fine? Theodore Nott, the perfectionist Slytherin, settles for 'fine'? I expected more from you."

"Look, it's not my homework, it's yours. I don't know why I agreed to help you, but it was pointless."

"You got yourself into this, could've said no."

"What the fuck am I even doing?" Theo asked rather himself than the girl. "I don't need to be helping a mudblood, who cares what grade you'll get." With these words, he stood up.

"Because-" Y/n stuttered. "Because... I've heard your conversation with Slughorn. And you said... that you liked me."

"Me? Liking you?" He snorted with laughter. "What the hell, Granger?"

Tears formed in Y/n's eyes as she watched Theo walk away. Sure, he was mean to her before, this wasn't the first time. But this time was somehow different.

Y/n could swear she heard Theo confessing to Slughorn that he's actually in love with her. It's not possible her brain played tricks on her. Plus Hermione said Theo told her about his feelings for Y/n.

≫ ──── ««•◦ ✪ ◦•»» ──── ≪

Harry walked onto the astronomy tower. Y/n was supposed to be back a long time ago. Ron and Hermione also wanted to go there, but Harry asked to let him go alone.

Harry knew where Y/n was thanks to the Map. He felt such relief not seeing Nott's name next to hers. She was standing alone, leaning on the banister. There was something in her hand, Harry couldn't see well in the dark, but from the smell he realized it was a cigarette.

"I didn't know you smoke." He spoke.

Y/n expected this to happen, she was aware of Harry's feelings towards her. She took one last drag from her cigarette then dropped it on the ground, put it out with her shoe and kicked off the tower.

"Why do you keep doing this?" Y/n asked, smoke leaving through her mouth. "I knew you're gonna look at your silly little map to see where I am."

"We were starting to get worried. Theo is... you know, dangerous. We got scared he would hurt you."

And he did. Theo did hurt Y/n, just not physically.

"Hermione should be here instead. But, let me guess, you told her you'll check up on me."

"Maybe," Harry admitted finally, "do you know why? Because I actually care about you. I've had feelings for you for years. I deserve you, not Nott. I deserve you, because-"

"Because you're the chosen one?" She mocked and paused. "Look, Harry, I like you as a friend. I've never felt anything more than this. I can't change how I see you and I won't pretend otherwise."

He nodded, acceptance settling in. "I get it. I just... I thought if I cared enough, it would make a difference."

"Caring is important, Harry, but it doesn't always lead to the feelings we hope for."

"Whoever you date, just don't date Nott, please."

"I promise I won't. Not after today, I'm over him."

"Care to share what happened?"

"I'll tell you, Hermione and Ron in the common room. Let's go, I've been here too long."

≫ ──── ««•◦ ✪ ◦•»» ──── ≪

Y/n didn't even know how wrong she was that night on the astronomy tower, but she forgot about it. Weeks went by, Christmas had passed, everyone were back from the break. Classes started again and Y/n found herself hoping to catch a glimpse of Theo.

They kept exchanging glances on the corridors, accidentally bumping into each other in the crowds. Y/n wanted to believe Theo liked her, but even if he did, they could never work.

"Y/n, listen to me," he said, catching her when she was alone in the library one time. "I know how things have been between us, but during the break I... I realized I don't wanna keep being enemies."

"Theo, you know it could never work. You said what you said and maybe it's better to leave it this way."

"I contemplated a lot," it was true, he spent the break mostly in his room, drowning in thoughts. About her, about them, coming to terms with what he was feeling. "I decided to accept my feelings."

"That's great for you, but we could never work. I've always 'fancied' you, I guess, despite what you were doing, ironically, but the time we worked on my project together, I accepted we could never work."

"And why's that?"

Y/n took a deep breath, wondering if he was stupid or just pretending. Maybe it was a bet he had with someone. Maybe Draco dared him to do this.

"You don't see how different we are? What do you expect is gonna happen? Would you introduce me to your father? Wouldn't you care that I'd get you disowned?"

Theo looked at her, Y/n could see sadness in his eyes. She realized her words made him realize the differences between them, because he walked away. Theo walked away without a word.

Y/n pierced her own heart with an invisible knife. She was really hoping they could work, but it just wasn't possible in this universe. Maybe there was a universe where none of this purity bullshit didn't exist. Y/n wished she would've been born there.

Y/n couldn't predict what Theo was going to do. She thought her words made him give up on her. It was for the best, of course, she should've focused on her studies firstly, and then on a realistic relationship.

It was a Friday. Y/n was sitting next to Ginny by the Gryffindor table. It was dinner time, all the students gathered in the Great Hall. All the students besides one Slytherin, the one that Y/n hoped to see. Maybe it was weird, but she enjoyed the sad looks they'd pass to each other.

"Hey, Y/n, are you listening?" Hermione asked from across the table.

"Sure," Y/n quickly shifted her eyes to her sister. "You were talking about Defence Against the Dark Arts."

"You've got divided attention. Stop looking at the Slytherin table."

"Ugh," Ginny groaned, "were you doing this again? Merlin, you stare at this Slytherin git 90% of the time."

"Well, he isn't here today. I wonder where he could be. Everyone else is here."

"There he is," Ron pointed out, rolling his eyes.

The golden trio and two younger Gryffindors looked at the doors' direction. Theo had just walked into the Great Hall, but surprisingly he didn't walk towards his table. He walked towards Y/n.

"Y/n," he spoke, catching everyone's attention. People were reading to witness another argument. "I can't help this, I love you."

Shocked noises came from all the tables, but Slytherins kept whispering between each other also when Theo continued talking.

"I don't care what anyone says, anyone thinks. Love is not meant to be controlled, it kills me to fight it."

Y/n stood up from the table, ready to leave the room.

"Theo, stop," she begged, "you're embarrassing us both. Your friends will-"

"I don't care what they do. If they don't accept it, they're not my friends. If anyone wants to fight me for having feelings for a muggleborn, I can fight, I've never lost a duel."

The whole Great Hall fell silent, even the teachers didn't try to intervene, when they saw Theo pulling out a small, black velvet box.

"I want you to wear this ring," he opened the box, "as my promise to always protect you from whoever tries to harm you or our relationship."

"It's beautiful, but..." Y/n was speechless by the sight of the ring. It was silver with two gemstones forming a subtle heart - half emerald and half ruby.

"It was custom made and if you accept it, I'll once get you a matching engagement ring. Also, there are thorns which will hurt you when you try taking it off. I want you forever, Y/n Granger."

The ring in the black velvet box sparkled under the enchanted ceiling. The Great Hall remained in silence as Theo poured his heart out, confessing his love. The unexpected turn of events had everyone on edge.

Slytherins exchanged intrigued glances, Gryffindors shared confused looks and even the teachers seemed to not know how to react. Y/n could feel the weight of everyone's eyes on her, and for a moment, she considered the potential consequences of accepting Theo's proposal.

"Theo," she began, her voice breaking, "it's not that simple."

"I know it is. But I can't keep hiding my feelings, Y/n. I've tried, and it's tearing me apart. I'll protect you from whatever comes our way."

Y/n looked at the ring, then back at him. "I believe in second chances. And I appreciate your sincerity. I accept the ring, Theo."

Theo carefully took the ring from the box and gently slid it onto Y/n's finger. The Great Hall burst with cheering and applause, only the Slytherin table didn't seem so enthusiastic about this.

Theo placed his hands on Y/n's waist, pulling her in for a kiss. She didn't hesitate to kiss him back, her hands sinking in his dense her yet the ring on her finger still visible, reflecting the light from the ceiling.

[worldly-fluster]

Like... WARNING THIS MIGHT TRIGGER SOMEONE.

The LADS boys when...they find your 'Diary'

--Xavier-- Part 2 of 4

I call my Diary, 'My Death Book' because I want people to be able to read it after I'm gone and be able to understand how I think, somewhat. I made these because I wondered what their reaction would be if they saw it with no context lol

All other details of this are on part 1 Sylus' so, go read it lol cause I also updated it to make it better.

Anyway- you done been warned it is ANGST.

Xavier-

•He felt he knew a lot about you, if not everything.

•Your favorite song, favorite food, favorite drink. He even knew your favorite color, even though it changed a lot.

•He wanted to know more, sure, but he didn't want to overstep any boundaries you set. Hell, it took him months just to be able to stand next to you without you taking multiple steps back.

•He asked once why you stepped back, you told him that you just don't like people that close.

•He was ecstatic when you started standing close enough to him to brush hands. His slow heart starting to beat a little faster at every small touch.

•He also noticed you laughed more, talked more. In the beginning you barely spoke two sentences before going quiet, you said it's because your voice hurt and you liked company more than conversation.

•Now you talk so much he noticed you had an adorable stutter and a slight accent. He loved to hear you speak.

•But then one day, while you both were having fun trying to get plushies in the claw machine, you were having so much fun neither of you noticed an older woman walk up and stand with her arms crossed and a disappointed glare.

•Not until you both heard an 'Ahem' from behind.

•The voice was familiar to you, making you flinch.

•"What are you doing? Haven't I told you not to waste your money on these games? And who's this? It better not be a boyfriend or we'll have to have another talk."

•Xavier stared at the lady for a bit before looking over at you, opening his mouth to ask you who this was, when he saw your face.

•Your face was now devoid of the spark he loved so much, your lips pulled into a thin line and eyes lifeless.

•He stood straight as his eyes widened a bit, especially when he heard your now small voice answer.

•"Yes Mom."

•Just before the lady could speak anymore, Xavier stood protectively in front of you, his hand reaching back and holding yours gently.

•He spoke in a stiff, confident voice, his lips in a tight smile as the lights around you flickered.

•"Okay Ma'am, I'm going to be taking her with me. If you follow us or say one more word to her, I will not promise your safety."

•He pulled you along as you both heard the lady spluttering out about manners. Your eyes widened as you stared at Xavier's back, not used to somebody speaking up for you.

•Xavier's blood was hot with anger towards that woman, your supposed Mother. How could she talk to her daughter like that? I mean, yeah, it's a waist of money playing the claw machine but you love it so he doesn't care. Spend his money.

•He took you straight to your apartment for some much needed downtime, he wants to cuddle and nap but he feels lucky to be holding your hand rn and he doesn't want to make you uncomfortable with him. He'll wait.

•You both sat on your couch, he didn't want to leave you alone at the time, he never does.

•You weren't talking much so he decided to put on a movie, of which you immediately fell asleep watching.

•He smiled a bit as he got up to grab a blanket and cover you with. As he was tucking the blanket around you he found a notebook hidden away between the pillows on the couch.

•Out of curiosity and wanting to move it so you can be comfortable, he opened it. Thinking maybe it was a diary of some sort.

•The first page made him breathe in sharply and his blood run cold.

•The page was Titled, 'My Death Book'.

•As he flipped through it, he found it had things ranging from what you want at your funeral to small tidbits from day to day life.

•Most pages made him want to scoop you into his arms and protect you, even from yourself. Other pages had left a bitter sweet taste in his mouth. As if to help whomever would read this through the grief of losing you.

•When he got to the last page you wrote in, he closed the book, put it back where he found it and sat on the ground next to your sleeping form.

•He lay his head next to yours as he watched you sleep, gently holding your hand, as a lump formed in his throat. He watched your lips part as you breathed deeply, seeing every small twitch you made. His eyes closed as he pulled your hand to his face, holding in there to feel your warmth.

•He wants to protect you from all the things written in that book, wants to make sure you never have to finish writing in it. He really wants to make sure you never run into any of those terrible people again...

•He doesn't ever think he'll be able to leave you alone, ever again. He doesn't want to have to read that book again...and not be able to hold you after.

[rayne-astrophile]

Special oneshot before Valentine's Day ends :D

Buttons - Rayne Ames x F!Reader

Notes - inspired by a comic I read when i was a child where japanese students give their shirt's button (the one in the same level as their heart) to their crush because it kind of means they give their heart to them!

- highschool!au & ooc rayne

You have a crush on Rayne Ames even before he becomes the Student Council's president. He might not remember you, but he had helped you with your homework when you first attended Easton.

Since then, you fell in love with him.

And today is Valentine's day. Students start to give their shirt's button to their crushes.

You grip yours in your hand. You want to give it to Rayne, but you're still considering it. What if he doesn't accept it? What if he doesn't like you? What if he doesn't remember you at all?

But you have promised yourself to confess your feelings for him today, on Valentine's day. It doesn't matter if he rejects you, you just want him to acknowledge your feelings.

In the end, you come to a conclusion to give him your shirt's button.

It is lunch break when you try to find Rayne. You look around the school, and finally you catch a glimpse of half blonde and half raven hair behind the class building.

Your eyes lit up as you take a step forward, but-

"Please take my button," You widen your eyes when a girl's voice reaches your ears. You immediately hide yourself at the other side of the building as you listen to the girl's confession for Rayne.

Your heart aches in pain, as the possibilities of him accepting the girl's confession still exists. You peek silently from the other side.

That girl is the student council's vice president, Judy. She is the beauty of the school, and she didn't get that title for nothing. Her blonde hair and her ocean eyes... she's just perfect. She also performs well in academics, adding to her popularity.

You're doing well with your academics, too, but you're more low key. You always hate attention.

Despite both of them being the dream partner, the students can't help but ship them. "Perfection is for perfection", they say.

That makes you ponder,

What if Rayne accepts her? Do you have no chance at all? Does he---

"I appreciate your feelings for me," Rayne's smooth voice cuts you off from your train of thoughts. "But I can't accept it. I'm sorry," he apologises as Judy slowly retreats her button. "It's fine, Rayne." She smiles as she puts her button into her pocket. "I just want to get over this feeling and focus on studying." She runs a hand through her hair.

Judy lets out a sigh as she looks at Rayne. "So, who's the lucky one? I see you already took off your button." She asks in interest.

Her sentence makes your heart shatter into pieces. You lower your head and your feet finally take you away from the scene as you put your button into your pocket.

Rayne stays silent as he looks to the side; at your previous hiding spot.

"I'm going to give it to her now."

You enter the empty class, while the other students are busy giving their buttons to their crushes. Everyone is laughing and smiling, while you're alone, doing your own things.

It is not long after that you hear the door of the classroom being pushed open.

What you do not expect is your crush walking in.

Your heart skips a beat as your eyes meet his golden ones, which you immediately look away. Even so, you can see him entering the class from the corner of your eyes.

"Why are you here? Don't you want to give your button to your crush?"

You raise your head to look at him as he is already (surprisingly) in front of you. You look around the class before pointing to yourself, "You're asking me?"

Rayne visibly frowns. "Who else would I be talking to if it's not you? Do you see anyone else in this class, (Last name)?"

You gape your mouth, "Y-You know me?" You ask in disbelief. His frown darkens as he furrows his eyebrows. "What's that supposed to mean?" He mutters. "We've been classmates since our first year."

You look away timidly as you brush a strand of your hair to the back of your ear, only for it to fall back. "I didn't think you'd remember me," you whisper softly, which is audible to him.

"And why'd you think that?"

Is he always this talkative? You are already screaming on the inside.

"I..." you trail your eyes away from him. "Have... have you given your button to your crush?"

His frown is even more visible when you change the topic. He lets out a sigh, but he wants to get over it anyway.

"I was going to give it to her," he murmurs. "Do you think she'll accept it?" His question makes you confused. Why would he want your opinion?

"Of course she will. You're everyone's crush, you know?" You mumble, your voice is barely above a whisper.

But he still can hear it.

"Is that so?" He asks, and you can barely see the corners of his lips lift up as he reaches out his fist to you. "Then, you'll accept this, right?"

He opens his fist, revealing a button in his palm. Your eyes widen as you look at him in disbelief.

"W-What?"

Rayne trails his eyes away from you. "It's okay if you don't want to. I see you, too, have taken off your button." He lowers his hand, only for you to take it into yours.

"N-No! I..." you stutter as you take out your own button from your pocket. Hesitantly, you put the small object on his palm. "You can take mine. I-I can't possibly take yours,"

Rayne stares at the two buttons on his palm before locking his eyes with yours. "Why not?" You lower your head as you fiddle your hands on your lap. "I-I just can't believe it. You can't possibly have feelings for someone like me-"

"Let me prove it to you, then."

You flinch when his warm hand cups your cheek and lifts your head up to face him. Before you knew it, his soft lips pressed against yours, taking your breath away.

He moves his lips with a gentle, delicate movement as his other hand rests on your nape, allowing him to deepen the kiss. You find yourself lost in his kiss as you grip the hem of your skirt, your cheeks burning and your heart beating faster than ever.

Seconds feel like eternity for you until Rayne finally pulls away. His tongue runs on his lower lip as his golden eyes stare into yours.

"Is that enough?" He asks breathlessly, his own cheeks heating up as you are already as red as a beautiful rose. "I-I..." you stutter, struggling to arrange your words.

"It's still not enough, I see."

You gasp, "Wait-"

Before you can finish your sentence, he presses his lips against yours once again. His hands move from your nape to your waist, pulling you closer, earning a gasp from you, and he takes advantage of your parted lips to slip his tongue into your mouth.

He tastes every inch of your mouth as he turns your bodies around so that your back is against the desk. His hand on your waist moves onto your desk, trapping you as he kisses you passionately.

After what seems like forever, he finally pulls away. He looks over to the door before looking back at you. "Seems like the other students are still not coming back," he hums. "I've been waiting to do this since our first year," he mutters, his thumb brushes against your lower lip. His eyes stare into yours as he leans in, hungry for more.

The moment the sentence escapes his lips, you figure, that him, too, has fallen ever since your first encounter.

BYE

[moonswolfie]

Studying is important

Yamaguchi x gn!reader

Thinking about teasing Yams till he goes all red and stuttery 🤭

(I say this as if I wouldn't become red and stuttery if I was in this situation)

Also random thing I wanted to add, I watched the german haikyuu dub for the first time recently and the way they pronounce the school and character names is so cute to me idk why😭

(my dumbass can't stop laughing at the title "Center Ass" I know that's the word for ace in german but I just cant bruh😭not my fault i got a horrible sense of humor)

Today you were feeling a little bold as you sat down next to your boyfriend, Yamaguchi Tadashi, to have a study session. He invited you over to his house immediately after you asked him to help you with your least favourite subject.

As he was helping you study, his face suddenly seemed cute and sweet and perfect for a little teasing. And honestly, who could hold back?

"Tadashi..." you called out sweetly, making him pause in the middle of his explanation and look to you. "Yes?"

"Ta-da-shi.." you leaned closer, spelling out his name in sylabbles. He looked puzzled, saying your name in a questioning tone.

"Is something wrong? Did I do anything?" He asked with worry in his eyes. He always tried his best for you to be comfortable and that's only one of the things that's adorable about him.

"No, Tadashi, everything is fine..." you purposefully used his name in that sentence, knowing how much it flusters him when you do that. "Oh..." he said awkwardly, cheeks dusting a shade of pink.

You glanced at the position of his hands by the table, then gently grabbed one while maintaining eye contact. He looked more confused than anything.

You slowly moved his hand to your mouth, kissing it gently. You watched him gradually turn red, stuttering out "E-Eh?! What a-are you..."

The rest of his sentence died off. He seemed unsure of whether he should keep looking at you or look away as his eyes moved in all sorts of directions.

You moved closer, pressing yourself up against his side, making him let out a little squeaking noise.

"Tadashi..." you whispered into his ear teasingly, and you felt him shiver a bit. "Can I kiss you?"

You asked innocently, putting on your best puppy eyes. You watched his eyes widen and somehow his blush deepened more.

"W-We're supposed to b-be studying!" He stammered out, hands flailing wildly in front of him. Oh yeah, his is exactly what you wanted. You moved over and settled in his lap, facing towards him.

"I know. One little kiss won't hurt, right?" You asked, brushing your pointer finger against his lips. As much as you loved seeing him shivering, you were beginning to get worried he might pass out on you.

"U-Um... I guess n-not..." he said, barely audible. It was kind of cute how much he was struggling to even say a simple sentence. You leaned close, lips almost touching his. You watched him close his eyes expectantly.

But no matter how patiently he waited, your lips didn't touch his. He slowly opened his eyes, confused, to find you back in your seat, solving a problem in the workbook.

"W...What... But I thought...." he touched his lips, worried that he did something wrong. You shrugged, continuing to solve the problem. "Studying is important, too."

You felt very bad for being so mean to him, but he makes it way too easy to tease him with that cute face of his.

There was a short pause, and you couldn't help but imagine Yamaguchi's face in that moment.

"O...oh... Well then, tell me i-if you need any help..." he sounded really embarrased, and when you looked to your right to admire him, you saw a stream of red coming out of his nose.

"Tadashi! Your nose is bleeding!" You warned him swiftly. He jumped in surprise, touching under his nose to check. When he saw the blood, he jumped up and ran to the bathroom, apologising and promising he'll be back on the way.

Maybe you took it a bit too far this time. Oh well, that won't stop you from kissing every single one of his freckles later.

[maple-the-awesome]

It's Over? ||

Pairing: (any) Peter Parker x Reader

Words: 3,728

Overview: (Loosely based on this) After overhearing your conversation on the phone, Peter begins to worry about the status of your relationship and a miscommunication over text only makes matters worse.

Marvel Masterlist 🖤 Fandom Masterlist 🖤 Requests

Peter Parker's such a terrible boyfriend.

...Okay, so maybe you've never said that to his face, but he's convinced it's true and he's also certain you agree. He's been a massive idiot lately which is a realization that makes him sick with worry and rotten with guilt.

Peter feels no hesitation with his feelings towards you and has always put effort into proving it: he gets you hand picked flowers collected during his patrols, writes loving messages for you with webs outside your window, and even texts you pictures of sunsets from the best views in New York, wishing you could be there in person with him because he absolutely treasures you, counting himself lucky every single day solely because of the fact that he can call himself your boyfriend.

Unfortunately, he fears that the title might change here soon because no matter how boundless his love is for you, he's done a real shitty job of showing it - at least in the ways that really count the most.

Originally, Peter didn't notice the flaws to your relationship and even when he did, he foolishly brushed them off. Once your smile began to fade little by little each time he returned home wounded, he reminded you that you don't need to stay up waiting for him every night and can go to sleep earlier if you're just going to be tired and annoyed with him when he gets home. He didn't mean to word it so harshly. He was worn out himself and didn't take the time to consider that you wait all night because you're worried about him.

Your complaints about him returning from work without getting any groceries would simply be met with new promises to do so after patrol. If there was no food in the fridge for dinner, then he suggested ordering take out. As a man who could easily survive months on Top Ramen alone, he didn't think you'd mind Chinese food two days in a row.

Even when you'd beg him to stay home for a date night because you haven't had one in weeks, he'd push you away, insisting he needs to protect New York without once stopping to wonder how his priorities might translate in your mind: 'I need to protect a city of strangers as I do every single night, so no, I can't spare a few hours for my girlfriend'.

Throughout every sigh to part your lips, Peter turned a blind eye to it all. Sure, the two of you argue, but all couples do, right? He still loves you and you love him, it's just...a little rough dating a superhero is all, however you'll both get through it together, he was so sure - and that's the key word: Peter 'was' sure, but after your fight today and the self-reflection he's done since, he's not too confident anymore.

It seemed so minuscule this morning. He was eating a bowl of cereal when he heard you huff from the other room. Upon investigating, he found you holding a red and blue shirt in hand, frustration written all over your face. It was your favorite shirt and it definitely wasn't supposed to be that color. Of course, the reason for its unplanned dye job wasn't difficult to guess.

Peter apologized while explaining he was really tired the night before and must've thrown his suit into the wash without checking the other items first; an "honest mistake" he called it with a shrug. Once again, you huffed, throwing the shirt back into the hamper in clear defeat which only made him press further about your suddenly foul mood. From there, the situation only escalated into raised voices ending in you slamming the door directly in his face when he tried to follow you into the bedroom.

Looking back on it now, Peter realizes his apology came off as halfhearted as he merely continued to stuff another spoonful of cereal in his mouth in between sentences and he probably should've stayed at that locked door to give you a proper apology, yet regrettable that's not how it played out. Instead, he purposely sighed as loudly as he could, asking why you "act so bitchy anymore" before stomping off...Not the greatest way to resolve an argument.

Unfortunately, Peter can't say that was the first fight he's merely walked away from with you. You would think Spiderman would know better, but alas, he's an idiot. In his own immature mind, he didn't see anything wrong or unhealthy with this strategy of simply dropping 'unfavorable conversations', after all, it seemed he had a fifty-fifty chance of you either getting angrier or never bringing the topic up again, the latter of which has been occurring more frequently lately. It wasn't until this morning that he realized just because you don't bring it up again, doesn't mean it isn't still hurting you.

When Peter went back up to the bedroom door, prepared to tell you he'd be leaving for work soon, he heart shattered upon hearing your silent sobs from inside. You were crying because of him. Your tears have always been his weakness, but it was in that moment that he learned there's something else that can deal even more damage to his sorrow and that's the broken words you sniffled to presumably MJ on the phone:

"I-I just can't do this anymore! It doesn't matter what I do! I've tried to not be clingy. I've tried to give him space and let him do his thing, but he never comes back to me! I don't even remember the last time we've gone on a date. It's always New York this, Daily Bugle that. Hell, he volunteered to work a few extra hours the other day yet can't be bothered to stay home just to eat dinner at the table with me! It's like I'm last to everything else in his life even when I put him first in mine!"

The thought of your relationship ending turns Peter's nerves to mush. How could he be so stupid? So ignorant? Such an asshole when he has the perfect girlfriend who has kept putting up with his bullshit for all this time? You don't ask for much in return; you never have. You ask him to help with small chores in your shared apartment. You request that he texts you regularly throughout the night not because you need attention, but because you need to know he's safe. You want date nights every once in a blue moon because he's your boyfriend, goddammit! What's the point of saying you're dating if he feels more like a lazy roommate than an equal lover?

You're slipping right through his fingers and he has no one to blame except himself. He knows that now and he's been spending the entire day thinking about it along with some way to apologize properly.

Part of him wishes he would've just pulled himself together and done something right then, bursting into the room with the promise that he can change - that he will change. Hell, he'd burn his suit in front of you if it means you'll give him another chance - if you'll believe for a second that the relationship is worth saving...But alas, he couldn't bring himself to interrupted your call, feeling it would only betray your trust if you knew he had been listening to a private conversation.

Instead, Peter sat like a statue on the couch, waiting not so patiently for you to leave the room on your own accord. When you did, he leaped up only for you to walk directly past him while sternly reminding him you have work. Of course you had work and, no matter how far he followed you through the apartment, begging you to listen to him for even just a minute, you wouldn't so much as glance his way...The karma he deserves.

While you may not have given him any time to explain himself this morning, hope is not completely lost. Shortly after your departure, Peter came to the realization that his nerves will last all day if he doesn't do something about your earlier argument, thus he decided to text you:

Your final text hadn't come until ten minutes after his, but at least he has a chance to plead his case which he doesn't plan on letting go to waste. He's practiced his apology about a hundred times each hour, engraving the thought-out speech in the deepest corners of his mind despite none of it sounding quite right. Of course none of it sounds right! You sounded so convinced on your phone call - like your mind is already made up on ending the relationship. What if you can't be swayed? What if you don't love him anymore? It did take you ten minutes to text those words back. Maybe you weren't even wanting to say them to spare you both the extra pain at noon.

It may seem hopeless, as Peter worries, however he refuses to give up. Too tense at home, he took to swinging around New York while sometimes reciting his speech aloud. He's tried his best to predict any possible response you may have so that a counter argument can be prepared. He wants to show you that he means this - that he's confident in his ability to fix your crumbling relationship. He's even picked up a nice bouquet of flowers at the corner store, ignoring the weird looks the florists gave as Spiderman dropped from the sky just to nervously request the best flowers to avoid a break up.

Needless to say, Peter's heart nearly jumps out of his chest when his phone alarm finally rings at noon. By this time, he's already sitting on the rooftop of your workplace, waiting nervously for your call while reviewing everything he's prepared in the meantime.

Bad boyfriend or not, Peter still knows you. He knows you find the break room too crowded, so you prefer to grab your lunch and take it back to your desk to eat. That's when you'll likely call him. The plan is then for him to pour his heart out into his speech before hanging upside down outside your office window with the flowers. Sappy, yes, but it's the best a desperate wreck like Peter Parker can think of!

His focus is glued to his phone screen while waiting, only shattered by the sound of sirens nearby. Lifting his head, Peter's heart drops at the sight of several cop cars racing down the street to a location he's learned all too well throughout his time as Spiderman: the damn bank. Of course, someone has to rob the bank now! Crime has been quiet all day, but the one time Peter needs it to be so, it decides to be blaring loud instead!

He curses under his breath when standing only for his ringer to be the new sound in his ears. You're calling now! You're calling and there's a bank robbery a few blocks down! Why does the universe hate Peter like this?

"Hello -"

"- Hey, (Y/n)...Sweetheart - Listen, I'm, um," he bites his lip, watching a few more cop cars zoom by in the company of a firetruck," I am so sorry, but I'm gonna have to call you back, okay? There's a robbery at the bank and I -...I promise I'm going to call you back before your break is over. I promise."

You don't respond too quickly much to Peter's concern - as if you already know to start weighing the worth of his promises. When you finally sigh, you sound just as tired as this morning, "...Sure, alright. Just...be safe, Peter, okay?"

"I know, I will be! I promise I'm going to call you right back so just hold tight!" Swinging into the air, Peter holds the phone to his ear with his shoulder, soon removing it with his hand but pausing to say before hanging up: "Have a good lunch, I love you!"

"...I love you, too..." Another delayed response, one Peter barely hears before pressing the little red button on the bottom of his screen.

He's dealt with lots of bank robberies before. He can make this quick. Swing in, keep the sass to a minimum, web up the badies, save the hostages, and return your call with plenty of time remaining for your break. It'll definitely work out that way, no sweat!

It didn't work out that way...No, of course it didn't, this is the life of Peter Parker; a man the universe just seems to hate most of the time. Forty two minutes; that's how long it took to deal with the whole fiasco at the bank. The robbers were armed with homemade weapons each packing a punch which are already annoying to deal with on their own, but sided with the worry of hostages and his already stressful day, the fight wasn't as easy as Spiderman had planned.

Nevertheless, no matter what the universe decides to throw his way, he has gotten good at recovering. Yet again, the bad guys were defeated and left webbed up for the police, however Spiderman had no time to deliver a clever pun before his exit. Instead, he disappears the second the threat is gone, his phone already in hand as he prepares to face another:

"Shit, shit, shit!" Peter curses, pacing across the rooftop he lands on while frantically texting you back:

Swinging a bit further, Peter begins his way towards your work with his phone balanced against his ear. He mumbles desperate pleas under his breath as he listens to the seemingly endless ringing before, to his relief, your voice finally picks up on the other side:

"Yeah?"

"Oh thank god! I didn't mean it's over as in 'I'm over with you and our relationship', but over as in 'I got the robbers'. I'd never break up with you especially over text, I swear - Listen, I really need to talk to you, but in person. Are you still at work?"

"Whatever it is, can't you just tell me now? I have that meeting in like ten minutes."

"No, I need to tell you in person. I need - I have to make sure that we're okay...I want us to be okay..." He's nearly in tears which is obvious to you by the sound of his voice.

"What are you talking about?"

"I really don't want you to break up with me. I know I've been a terrible boyfriend lately and I know I've made you feel like shit so I probably deserve to be dumped, but I swear I never meant to and I want to fix everything - I will fix everything, I swear! You're the most important person in my life - okay, maybe second to May because she's my aunt, but compared to everyone else! I love you more than Spiderman or the Daily Bugle or - or even those super good sandwiches at the corner deli!"

"Peter -"

"- My point is I can do so much better! I'll start doing all the chores, I'll take more days off from the Daily Bugle and I'll even stop being Spiderman if it means you'll be happy with me, I promise! Just please give me one more chance -!"

"- Peter, hold on!" He instantly shuts his mouth under the strictness in your voice. You hesitate on the other end before a sigh can be heard, "...How quickly can you be here?"

"Give me two minutes tops!"

"...Alright. Meet me on the rooftop - and don't be late. My manager's already an asshole as it is, so I can't be late to this meeting."

The sound of Peter landing on the roof causes you to turn around, yet you have no time to say anything before he's running towards you with his mask already crinkled in his hand as well as a few measly roses with broken stems in the other, "(Y/n), I’m sorry. I promise I’m sorry.”

“Peter, your face…” Perhaps it’s just instincts and routine at this point, but the first thing you notice is the nasty bruise already forming under his eye, not that he’s the slightest bit concerned about that, in fact he doesn’t even acknowledge your comment.

“Please give me another chance. I’ll fix everything!” When Peter officially reaches your side, he moves to hug you - desperately wanting to do so, however he stops himself with his hands on your arms, having no more confidence to push his luck. You could shove him away at any moment, after all, “Like I said, I’ll do the chores, I’ll go on as many dates as you want, and I’ll stop being Spiderman even -”

“- You wouldn’t stop being Spiderman. You’d never stop being Spiderman,” contrary to his expectations, rather than being angry, you run a hand through his hair, your voice a soft whisper, “You love being Spiderman too much, Peter.”

He bites his lip and bows his head in shame. You’re right. He doesn’t want to stop being Spiderman, but…

“...But I love you more…”

“...Peter,” your heart swoons. Brushing his bangs away from his face, you tilt your head to get a good look at him, “I know you love me and I love you, too. That’s why I could never ask you to give up something as important to you as Spiderman.”

“I thought…” He trails off.

“You thought what?”

He glances at you quickly before directing his eyes away, “...I thought you were mad at me because of Spiderman? Because I spend too much time working - that’s why you want to break up with me, right?”

You blink in surprise, “Huh? Why would you think I want to break up with you?”

“I accidentally overheard you talking on the phone,” now it’s your turn to look away in shame, “You said you couldn’t do this anymore…That you were pretty much fed up with me which you have every right to be. I’ve been a terrible boyfriend lately -”

“- You’re not a terrible boyfriend -”

“- I am, though!” Peter cries, “It’s like you said! I leave you second to everything else - I don’t mean to, but I made you feel like you’re not as important to me when you really are. You’ve always been important to me, yet I’ve been ignoring your feelings and I pushed you to the ledge -”

“- Peter Parker,” you move your hands to his cheeks, moving him gently to look at you as you speak quietly yet sternly, “...You’re right. You haven’t been the most ‘attentive’ lately and yes, it really hurts to be tossed aside compared to everything else. I know deep down that you don’t mean it and I know you love me. I love you too - sooo much which is why I really don’t want to break up…It’s just…Something needs to change.

“That call you heard - I was only ranting if anything because honestly, I haven’t felt like I’ve had anyone to talk to lately,” you squeeze your eyes shut, blinking back the tears, “I’ve been so worn out with it all. Work’s been crazy lately with my manager constantly up my ass for reports and then when I go home wanting nothing more than to spend time with the one person who makes all that stress go away, you aren’t there. I’ve…I can’t keep that up.

“...What’s important right now is that we both realize that. I don’t want you to give up being Spiderman, but you could take a night off once in a while, right? There’s like a zillion superheroes in this city, after all. Make the Avengers handle it or - I don’t know, that devil dude. Take a break not just for my sake, but yours, too” you let your hands fall down to Peter’s, holding onto them with a sigh, “...You’re not the only one who needs to change, though. This is partly my fault, too -”

“- It isn’t your fault. Why would it be your fault?” Peter interrupts with concern, yet you shake your head.

“I should’ve communicated to you that I was upset. I should’ve made sure you actually understood how I was feeling instead of just assuming or expecting it. Clearly, you care about us as much as I do and you want to make fixes now that you’re aware of the problems. If I just would’ve said something sooner, it wouldn’t have had to get to this point. It isn’t fair for either of us to suffer without the other’s knowledge nor is it healthy. We shouldn’t have to get pushed to the ledge or worry about a break up before ever once sitting down to actually talk about our concerns like grown ups…That’s what we’re supposed to be now, right?”

“I think so, although it’s not that easy, is it?” Peter mumbles then throws his head back dramatically with a groan, “Ah, May and Ben made it look sooo easy!’

You chuckle, resting your forehead against him, “I’m sure they had moments like this…We just have to learn, is all.”

For what feels like the first time today, Peter smiles and breathes his relief, “How about this: I’ll promise to start spending more time with you and doing more chores around the apartment if you promise to start telling me when you’re upset. Even if it’s something that seems totally stupid, okay? I won’t walk away anymore. I’ll sit and listen and if I don’t, you have my permission to call May on me.”

“It’s a promise,” you press your smile against his for what you intend to be a quick peck, however his arms finally wrap around your waist, pulling you closer into a longer kiss he’s been dying for all day.

“I love you,” he whispers once pulling away.

“I love you, too,” and there’s no hesitation or delay to your response this time.

[friendship-bracelet-collection]

Album bracelets: Festive Phantasy - Christmas Beats

I made bracelets for all the albums, so here is the christmas one! A way to see that its an album number is that I added four small colour coded beads in the middle og the back before knotting the elastic. The colours are based on the DanAndPhilBeats logo - being orange and light blue!

Christmas Adventure colour choice is to look like christmas lights. I used mostly green letter beads, and the letters I didn't have any green in got a colour to match the lights. Inspired by this pin on pinterest.

Gamingmas colour choice is purple and blue like the gaming channel colours of cause. I had just gotten light blue beads, so I made a pattern with the head beads too, inspired by a picture I found on pinterest.

Kilt Tree Delivery colour choice is fully green, using different shades of green. The charm came from a pair of earrings I found at the thrift store.

Announcement Reindeer colour choice is a mix of the two browns I have that's the same but different sizes. Charm also came from thrift store earrings.

Santa Is Not On Fire got a mix of orange and yellow beads to look like fire, and to keep in the spirit of Dan's branding, I used black letter beads. And I used the other santa charm I had.

Reindeer Galloping Through the Sky colour choice is blue for the sky, and because I needed a certain size of bead to feed through two elastic threads. I added a galloping reindeer I found in my stash of random charms I got off of Facebook a bit ago.

Bauble In Your Foot colour choice is also like the first bracelet in this set supposed to look like christmas lights, this time with just normal beads. I used multi coloured letter beads here to add to the christmas tree look.

Icing Sugar Dusting colour choice is very light pastels, from a bead colour mix I got just before, and I used clear letter beads as it reminded me of sugar, and therefore matched the track title perfectly.

Stocking Philler colour choice is white to match the stocking charm I had, and with multi colored letter beads for the filling. I tried my best to make the order of colours be rainbow, but mostly succeeded with the first word because I ran out of certain colours.

It's Giving... Seasons colour choice was tough, so I used some colourful disks I otherwise probably would not use. I used black letter beads for the first part, and multi coloured letter beads for the seasons part, to symbolize its more festive meaning. Since I can't do ... with beads really, I used a gift charm I found I had. Added stars for sparkle.

Deez Chestnuts colour choice is brown because nuts. And I tried making three pair of hanging nuts to drive in the deez nuts joke. I think I achieved it.

Boxing Day Boardgames colour choice is gold and light purple, as those are lovely colours.

New Year New You colour choice is black and gold, two colours often associated with new years. I added my last pearlescent glass stars for a nice effect. I used black and yellow+orange letter beads to emphasize the meaning of the sentence.

[vamp-ress]

Writing Check-In

Active WIPs (as in: I'm actively working on those)

Broken Wings I finished the first draft of the Library AU in the middle of December and I have since then been editing and revising. The story is now 96.000 words long, which means I've added about 15k in the editing process. Which is simply wild. I did put in a few additional scenes (that was always the plan), but nothing that would account for 15k. I guess it's just my tendency to rewrite every second sentence. Whatever ... I still have about 30 DOC-pages to go. After that I want to re-read it to see how it flows and set it aside for a bit. I hope to start publishing it in March or thereabouts.

Muffin (working title) I'm thinking of doing the @yearoftheotpevent with a bunch of Library-AU ficlets (more on that further down). This is one of those. I like the basic idea, but I don't like my execution. So either I have a lightbulb moment how to make this fic better or it'll be moved to WIPs on hiatus. We'll see.

The Pit and the Pendulum (working title) Probably not the final title, LOL. Would also be an entry in the @yearoftheotpevent - I'm not totally satisfied with it yet, but it'll probably see the light of day.

Walking in my Shoes (working title) Also a short ficlet for the @yearoftheotpevent that doesn't quite satisfy. I'd like to explore this angle further, but unfortunately it doesn't work in the way I tried it here. Will have to sit on this a bit more.

Charlie (working title) Also a Library AU ficlet for @yearoftheotpevent. This is a bit of backstory that existed in my head, but that didn't fit into the multichaptered story. There was just no good place where I could add this in. I like what I have so far, but I don't know how to end it. I'll have to sit on it a bit more.

Control (working title) Another prompt fic for @yearoftheotpevent (until you're all sick and tired of it). I only realised after writing it that I had already written for another prompt for this particular month. I'll have to see what I can do about it.

WIPs on hiatus (as in: on the backburner, but they will most probably come back)

The Way North (working title) Yepp, still on hiatus. Aragorn and his female OC (don't worry, this won't be a romance) are still sitting quietly on my harddrive awaiting further inspiration.

First Meeting (working title) This is also still on hiatus. This is actually really depressing, but I can't really write A/L when I write V/O. The tone of my Aralas stories doesn't really gel with Viggorli and it's so very jarring to switch between both.

Dol Guldur (working title) Yes, I actually managed to start a story in August to then promptly put it on hiatus. This was supposed to be a horror-adjacent story. I feel we're properly out of horror season now, so I will leave this for later.

Crossroads (working title) Started this is November on a whim as a short prompt fic for @vo-bday-bash, but somehow I'm not feeling it. I've opened up the document multiple times, but I don't think I'm getting across what I'm trying to get across.

Finished Stories (as in, will post eventually)

The Last Resort This will be my March-entry for the @yearoftheotpevent. It's mostly finished. It's Library-AU as well, but it's set in the past. There's actually no OTP in this story, but it expands on some backstory from the 88k story. There wasn't any need to put this in the larger story, it would have taken up too much space there. But I think it works quite nicely as its own story.

Leader of the Pack This will be the February-entry for @yearoftheotpevent. It will be posted on Monday and will feature Viggo, Orlando and the cats (Charlie, too). So it's once again plotless fluff.

Midnight Hunt This was written for Fandom Weekly over at DW. I've wanted to write something for this challenge for a while now, they have really good prompts. They also have a rule against RPF and a very tight schedule, so somehow it didn't work out until now. But of course I had to write something for the prompt "werewolf". But when you've written 90k in your werewolf!Aragorn series, what do you do when you have to write something short (1000 words) for a challenge where no one participating will know your series. So I went for vibes and decided to do something interesting with the POV. I played around with different ideas and then decided on this story, which is 2nd person POV: It's Aragorn addressing himself as a werewolf while he's chasing Legolas through the woods. Lately, I feel like I'm having a lot of fun playing with stories on a "technical" level.

[rigelmejo]

10/24/2024 updates:

I know this is an active month as far as me posting. I'll probably disappear for a few months after this, you know how it goes. But for now, I am going to want these notes in the future.

Japanese: I'm 4700 sentences into glossika japanese now, out of 6400, so ~73%. I will get through the new sentences by the end of the month hopefully, and then just do reviews in November.

My hopes that increasing listening comprehension/knowledge of words would help my reading skill is actually working out: when I read manga, I am finding it easier and if there's a lot of furigana then that helps fill in the gaps for kanji words I guess (based on hiragana) but don't know the pronunciation for. I tried reading my japanese translation of Guardian by priest today, print copy, and I can understand everything on the page (except one use of 'yoku' hiragana which I am not sure what it was conveying). Unfortunately, my print novel does NOT use furigana on a lot of kanji, so a weird thing happened where the words I know the pronunciation of I could mentally 'hear' the japanese pronunciation of those kanji words, but the kanji words I didn't know from listening... I just mentally 'heard' chinese. So I'm going to need to read novels, or anything without furigana, WHILE LISTENING TO AUDIO. Otherwise I'm not going to pick up kanji pronunciations properly. So my plan to move to Satori Reader after glossika, is going to work well.

It's interesting to me just how many words in a novel... look just like the hanzi words in chinese (some kanji are slightly different but they're still recognizable if you know hanzi). So like... "try on" is 試着 shi-chaku (compared to chinese shishi 试穿 shi-chuan) which are quite similar pronunciations and shi is the same character and rough pronunciation, and if I saw 試着 in chinese I'd assume it means try-ing. Basically, it's recognizable as a word clearly related to 'try'. But "try" is 試す (tamesu) versus chinese 试试 shishi or 尝试 changshi, quite different pronunciation, still an ability to guess meaning. But then words like human resources, Special Investigations Division, Gate Guardsman, human-realm, Shen Wei's soul cutting title in the novel, souls, black-cat, are all similar kanji to the hanzi I would expect when reading chinese. So a LOT of words are quite easy to guess the meaning of but I'm lost on their pronunciation unless I already learned the japanese pronunciation of those kanji-words. This happens a lot with ALL kanji words (as in no hiragana conjugation).

This is just interesting to encounter, some kanji have super similar pronunciations like xiang-xin 相信 believe compared to japanese shin-jiru 信じる with the 信 pronounced roughly similar as xin and shin. While others are like guarantee 保证 bao-zheng in chinese, hoshou-shimasu 保証します in japanese use the same characters but totally different pronunciation. You can't be certain the japanese kanji pronunciations will be similar to the chinese. Kanji-only words seem to more often be similarly pronounced, but that is not true enough to rely on. One of the comparisons I made early on lol was japanese 時間jikan and chinese 时间 shijian for time. To my mind, ji and shi are similar enough sounds to notice, but kan and jian aren't. I suppose everyone will make those distinctions a bit differently. I just know seeing 時間 and hearing jikan the first time, it made sense that would be the japanese pronunciation to my mind from what I knew about the characters, but also threw me off for being the amount different that it was.

I'm curious what other language learners who knew hanzi before learning japanese words feel about picking up kanji pronunciations... I should go search some forums...

I do 100% think knowing hanzi makes figuring out the meaning of kanji words much easier. And for me, since Heisig and mnemonics never worked for me learning kanji (I think because I mentally NEEDED a sound to tie with the kanji but Heisig's book and suggestions didn't provide that or have a solution for that for kanji since kanji have multiple pronunciations, whereas when I studied hanzi I immediately tied a pronunciation to each new hanzi I learned so they stuck easier in my mind), learning hanzi was much easier. Once I had a bunch of meanings tied to characters in my head (thanks to learning hanzi), then seeing kanji presented only the issue of 'how do I pronounce it' and no longer the double issues of both figuring out pronunciation And meaning.

I also went through 2 songs yesterday, Hikari by Utada Hikaru and Doctor by Chanmina, and learned the meaning of all the words in the songs. The combo of romaji/listening for pronunciation plus the kanji-hiragana lyrics worked well. I finally get what my friend meant when they said Utada sings japanese... different. The pronunciation's clear, it's not that. It's that syllables I don't expect to be elongated when singing sometimes are, and the part of the word Utada decides to elongate is not always what I'd expect. I do, however, know the tune of that song intensely well lol as I've heard it since I was 11, so it wasn't hard to adjust. Chanmina raps mostly, and so probably as expected in rap, syllables were all around the same length.

tldr: the approach of listening-focused study has been helping the way I've hoped, and I'm seeing noticeable improvements in reading skill and listening skill, moving onto Satori Reader next will work well I think.

Chinese: so frustrating lol. But I just need to stick with it. Getting myself to commit to listening to 8 hours of audio... never mind 20, or 50, or the 200+ I REALLY need to listen to see the kind of significant improvements I'm hoping for? It's harder than you'd think. You'd think I could just put on audio, let it play in the background, and be good. But I get so frustrated I don't understand every word (or even just the words that SOUND familiar and I know I should recognize), so then I feel the urge to Replay certain sections, to re-listen to the same 5-10 minutes over and over, to focus harder and try to catch what I'm not quite getting, to look up the words I am getting frustrated by. And then before you know it, I spent 1 hour on my phone's translation app, constantly replaying audio in 30 second chunks, and was not able to multi-task at all. Instead of playing it in the background, I focused on it totally and tried to transcribe a bunch of words into a translator app, and then exhausted myself, and then don't feel up for doing another hour of that kind of intensive listening. The solution, of course, is for me to just fucking let go of being a perfectionist and LISTEN IN THE BACKGROUND. But then I feel irritated with myself for not looking up "just a few words" (a lie, I'll look up dozens) because I 'almost get them' and just want to quickly know what they mean instead of waiting several minutes for my brain to figure it out gradually.

I am TRYING to listen in the background. My perfectionist tendencies kick in a lot, though.

Despite it all! I am already seeing small progress, which will hopefully convince me to STOP intensively listening and looking everything up, and accept that background listening while working or walking WILL also result in progress.

Last night I listened to a podcast a friend shared with me, about Chinese supernatural stories. I could understand probably 90% or more of each word they said, I was just a bit puzzled by if in those first 7 minutes the podcasters were summarizing the several supernatural stories they'd be delving into for the rest of the hour, or if they were listing off several different supernatural stories SUPER fast. I noticed progress, because I listened to that podcast last week and could barely understand anything. So clearly, in part I just needed to train my listening skills more to hear what I already know. I also felt a bit of assurance, because I recognized nearly every word the podcasters said, so I do know a LOT of conversational words. In audiobooks, sometimes the words used are a lot less common than the words in dramas or conversations... since the words people say (unless they're giving lectures or educating or delving on a niche subject) tend to be a bit more commonly used. Knowing that, at least when it comes to conversational words, I do know around as many words as I expected I knew, was comforting.

Also, now I know I can listen to that podcast for 'easier' listening practice, when audiobooks are frustrating me.

Spanish: hahahahaha haaaaaaa. Should I be doing anything with Spanish right now? No, not really. I've got no time (I'm allotting an hour to Japanese and Chinese study each, with 2 hours for each a day if I can fit it in). I do not need to learn it, there's no pressing need in my life or things I'm directly involved in that require me to understand more Spanish. I'm just procrastinating my actual goals in other study, apparently.

My little attempt to use Dreaming Spanish got me curious. 1. About Comprehensible Input learning (without word lookups), and 2. about how much Spanish I could just 'pick up' with exposure, given the French I know, the ~2000 Spanish words I'm vaguely familiar with, and that 1 summer of Spanish cram study I did. Does it help that I have any easier time listening to Spanish and picking out words compared to when I listen to French? It sure does. Out of curiosity I looked up some of the beginner podcasts Dreaming Spanish learners were recommending on the r/dreamingspanish subreddit (which has great general study suggestions, if studying any language tbh). One of them was How to Spanish, so I looked that podcast up and listened to an episode. It was understandable, which was cool. So I may listen to more. Now, it is for beginners, so it's probably made to be understandable even if you know nothing or almost nothing. Still, it felt cool to understand! I also tried listening to a Spanish audiobook of a kid's book I've read before in English, listened to maybe 20 minutes, and had no trouble following the main plot based on the words I was catching. Now, to be fair, I was probably relying heavily on proper-nouns to place what scene and paragraph was about what. But still, interesting.

If I start trying to watch a Spanish show, well. I'm probably just doing more sidetracking and having fun. I really want to watch Elite, regardless.

[anonymousad]

an unbiased review: the Among the Stacks crowdfund

if you would like to follow along, or if you for whatever reason do not trust my screenshots of the campaign: https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/among-the-stacks-season-1#/

this is going to be very long and I apologize. but when I thought about leaving out some parts to cut it down, it didn't feel like I was doing due diligence in communicating the full picture and providing constructive feedback and critique. I think I have some good notes in here for general things to keep in mind for anyone asking publicly for money to fund their passion project.

so. let's get into it.

The Campaign Video

this is the first thing you see on the page, displayed prominently at the top next to the title and goal.

but before it even starts, why is it a full 10 minutes long??? this is your elevator pitch opportunity, you need to get to the point and make your case before someone clicks away. because unless I already care I am not sticking around for 10 minutes to hear you say the same thing I can read for myself if I scrolled slightly down the page. (that's not even mentioning that any video which is exactly 10:01 long just makes me think of how youtubers pad video lengths to hit the time requirement for putting ads in the middle)

but anyway, let's talk about the video itself.

first up: the content

cut. it. down.

10 minutes is an egregious length for what is supposed to be a video that grabs attention and funnels people into taking the time to read the rest of the page. it is not meant to be a video version OF said page. even 5 minutes would be pushing it in most cases, and the most important information needs to be in the first 2. that means the elevator pitch for your story, ideally 1-2 sentences, and then an explanation of what you are asking for and why. it is fine to set the tone with an excerpt or thematic prose, but keep it BRIEF.

there is no need to spend nearly 3 minutes of the runtime playing samples of your most famous actors for clout. especially when you barely touch on the 12 people that are part of the crew .

touching on various perks of the different tiers is good, as is reiterating the goal amount, but it would be nice to have visuals to go along with the more interesting and complicated sounding ones. the visuals that are included are lackluster and the small amount of shown art is way too obscured by the "copyright" watermark.

finally: why the fuck is the last minute and forty just music. no, seriously. almost 2 minutes of time wasted for the sake of what? fade that shit out after 10 seconds and end the video, I'm not here to listen to your theme tune, I'm here to learn about the project.

also, don't use "Kickstarter" as a general synonym for "crowdfunder". it is confusing and will make people forget how to actually find your campaign.

second: the quality

you are making an audio drama, yes, so producing nice videos isn't your end goal. but it DOES still matter and is a reflection of the care you put into your work. if I like the video, then yeah maybe I go and check out the actual content you've released on the Among the Stacks feed. but your feed isn't embedded at the top of this page. your feed isn't the first impression I'm going to get of your production quality. this is.

we could nitpick how the transparent logo on the library background makes the text unreadable, or how the cast announcements aren't lined up properly with the visual transitions, or how more than one take was definitely needed because some of the stumbles are extremely noticeable. some of the issues are visual only, but there are plenty of problems with the audio itself in this video, which is especially suspect when what you are asking money for is an audio project.

so when the opening voiceover changes to a more informal description of the project, why does the quality go to shit. the first part sounds like it was recorded in a properly treated space with care for removing background noise and reducing echo and reverb. in the second, I can constantly hear birds and there was a fucking discord notification at the 1:45 mark. most bafflingly, it's the same exact voice (I assume showrunner Nigel's), so HOW can the quality be this inconsistent??? I'm not looking for fancy, I'm just looking for the bare minimum in quality for something like this.

all this tells me, is to expect inconsistency in your product. if I give you money am I going to get the treated professional approach or the slapdash one? this video is the way you are demonstrating your quality to prospective backers; you provide no other examples directly on this page so THIS is what you have presented as an acceptable representation of you and the project as a whole.

this shit matters, it really does. ESPECIALLY when you are asking for $21,000 dollars. which leads us to...

The $21k Goal

with names this prominent in the AD space attached, I did have an expectation of a somewhat higher goal than I've seen on recent smaller projects. but I was not expecting the actual goal to be this ridiculous.

let's compare this number to another high profile project that happened last year: Re:Dracula (https://seedandspark.com/fund/re-dracula)

off the bat, you can see that this project raised about $24k on it's own, but if you scroll down to the budget section it says "We estimate that this production will cost $22k. You'll note our goal is $12k - this is because we've received $10k of external funding outside of this campaign!" for a total of $34k

now you might see that and think "well anon, is that not basically the same thing? they actually raised more than that!"

there is as big difference between a project that is being spearheaded by a well-established and proven name in the audio drama space like Tal Minear and a project being driven by someone that most people haven't interacted with in any production capacity (I'm sure Tal would have their own interesting things to say about this crowdfunder, as they have quite a bit of experience themself in this realm). ADDITIONALLY, in the Re:Dracula campaign video (which is only 2 minutes if you were wondering) they state it is an "all or nothing project", meaning if they couldn't raise the necessary funds it wouldn't have happened. so when Re:Dracula asked for that money, there was an expectation built on past proven work and releases and the ask was made based on that.

(now do I also find that amount of money for Re:Dracula to be a bit ridiculous? honestly a bit yes, but as a production it is very much a professional venture within the space more than an indie project fueled by passion to tell a story. the whole thing exists to capitalize on Dracula Daily tho, so I think we all know that)

there is an expectation of quality and professionalism that is proportional to how much money you are asking people to entrust you with. it sounds shitty, and it is, but crowdfunding is about asking individuals to put faith in you and your vision, and it is your responsibility to do right by those people.

I should point out that there is no problem with a flexible goal, which means that money will still go to the project if not fully funded. but I do think it betrays that they know this goal is nonsense high.

but we will talk more in-depth about the budget breakdown in the next section.

The Donation Tiers

this is the bit that will be the most presumptive, as the nature of backer tiers is that you don't know what the goods will be like until a while after the campaign is over and stuff goes out. so this will be a more general look at the different levels, whether the perks seem to be fairly placed/distributed, etc.

my first question tho: why are nearly all of the tiers seemingly "discounted" right now (the day after launch)? is it a limited time first week of the campaign thing? if so, why aren't you using that to advertise and push people to pledge early to take advantage? in some industries this kind of thing is common practice (video games often launch with small discounts on digital platforms like Steam), but I have never seen it on any kind of crowdfunding campaign. I didn't even know it was a thing you could do.

I do like the visual cohesion with all the images used across the tiers. the yellow and purple thematically match with the show's website (which interestingly is not linked a single time on the page), though I'm unsure how legible it is when it comes to the text images within the main campaign body, definitely hides some the details of the pictures here against the parchment style background. the art styles themselves are exactly consistent, which is pretty obvious why once you realize they are all traced off other pictures or artwork (for example, this one is a clear base for this one and I was able to quickly find ). I was going to give the benefit of the doubt and assume this is a legal use of them since I can't hunt down every single one. but the hands holding a rosary image is from a site that says "attribution is required", and that sure wasn't done here so I don't know if any of the others were traced without permission or proper credit given. nowhere on the page is there a link to or mention of who created these images for the campaign. (unrelated, but alt text for images should be standard by now on sites like indiegogo, especially since so many campaigns utilize banner images instead of header text to differentiate sections)

okay let's actually look at these tiers (at the price before the discount):

there are 10 options total (plus the general donate without a perk) ranging from $6 to $267 USD. as a high and low these are good boundaries, with 6 of the options being below the $100 mark. honestly this is a really solid distribution in terms of offering options at the lower end while still giving variety at the middle and higher end.

the first four are restricted to digital content only, with the baseline offering discord access and a social media shout-out and then progressively adding digital annotated scripts, early access to episodes, and the digital "librarian guide".

the annotated scripts is an interesting perk considering it will apparently include both past and future episodes of the show. however that isn't particularly specific about whether it is even talking about season 1 scripts or if it means scripts for only the current "prologue season" as it is defined in the main text of the campaign (oh we will get there). it does has a general delivery timeframe of April 2023, but is this a one and done or will these backers continue to get new annotated scripts thru the creation of season 1? how many will that come out to? will they get all the scripts? these are not small questions when it comes to asking value, though at a price point of $12 I think most people would be satisfied with a few from throughout the first season.

similarly "early access to episodes" is too vague and needs to be more specific; when Red Valley crowdfunded last year they stated that backers would get access a full week before the public, but all the ATS campaign says is "ahead of the general public". it is worth noting that both campaigns asked $18 for this level, so we are in line there it seems.

the Librarian Guide is a neat bit of content to offer, though I wish there were mock-ups or even a little more information about the type of things that will be included aside from illustrations. "information" could mean star signs and the fact they hate cake, or it could be substantial like their background and how they came to be part of the story. the price has jumped to $33 at this tier, so sell me on why I should give another $15 for this.

from here we start bringing in physical goods, which can really drive people to giving more for that extra thing to show off.

at $44 we add a 5 count sticker pack. considering ordering minimums I think people often discount how much nice stickers can cost (assuming they go with nice ones), plus factoring in the postage from Ireland for even a regular letter envelope. so I think this is a fair jump up in price. the real question is, what are the designs? and actually, is it more than one design? because the wording is very non-specific to whether it is 5 of the same sticker you see a mock-up for in the video (which is just some black block text on a white background) or if it is 5 different designs that include actual artwork, or what. a sticker pack usually means multiple designs, but given we've only seen one thing that wasn't very impressive I don't know that that stuff is even prepared yet to send for printing. there is also nothing said about the quality of stickers in terms of vinyl, heavy duty, die cut, approx size, etc.

at $60 we add another digital reward of being thanked in the episode credits, a tier which does not have a limited number of slots, so I guess hope that it doesn't end up with 20+ names that have to be read out for every single release?

now we jump to the big leagues of pricing and physical production with the physical Librarian Guide at $128 USD. this is a pretty non-standard physical good which is an awesome thing to offer.

but here's where I feel something needs to be said about manufacturing, because that shit can go south fast. physical goods can be hard to produce on their own, and promising too much will lead down a road of stress and frustration and lots of time and money wasted if you don't know what you are doing. I know people who have goods manufactured as their entire business and it is a fucking gamble sometimes.

but also, what exactly does it mean for this to be a physical item? it is 24 pages, which is too short to be bound like a book (even an art book). is it a zine? what will the quality of the print be and will it adequately show off the artwork that you are all proud of? this is where mock-ups or a sample page would be really nice to see.

a big jump up to $171 for the addition of a t-shirt. an additional $43 is somewhat steep I think, but that's probably fine because we're factoring in a middle man and shipping costs. but on the mock-up... why is the artwork so obscured? I genuinely cannot figure out what it's supposed to look like, which is a pity because what I can see seems interesting. are you really that worried about someone stealing the design?

for only $213 there is the option to name a character. again, no limit on the number of slots for this strikes me as weird since there are only so many characters that can possible BE named? especially given that all the currently announced cast have character names, so are there more people that we don't know about and aren't named or are some of those names up for change or is this just a "in the transcript you'll see the name and maybe it will be said once" kind of deal?

another small nitpick on this one. here's the description for it:

just lose the last line. the two before it do a good job at saying "hey it will have to be approved, and we don't stand for hateful shit", so the last line comes across kind of weird? it feels somewhere between 'no fun allowed' and 'you're an idiot' and is wholly unnecessary to get across the restrictions you want.

last tier sits at $267 USD (or an even €250 EUR for those who like round numbers). this is the reward that I always fucking hate to see, and it's somehow more egregious for how it's framed here. for all that money, you can get an executive producer credit.

this is a note for everyone doing a podcast crowdfund campaign: STOP DOING THIS SHIT. do you know why this reward exists? vanity. that's literally it. it exists for someone to claim that they were part of a project they didn't do anything for to try and gain clout.

now, why specifically does THIS ONE enrage me? for one, it is literally the only addition at this highest tier. add a handwritten thank you note or a chance to talk with the writers or SOMETHING. this is wholly unsubstantial for being the ultimate backer reward. but back to the credit itself, do you know where you'll be able to find it? only on Podchaser and IMDb. no mention of being distinguished in the credits of each episode with this label, nothing about being recognized on the website. just those two places that mean nothing and will barely be seen by anyone. do you know how easy it is to get on IMDb? embarrassingly so, and nobody will ever look. this kind of title exists for putting on a resume and looking impressive, but then if someone where to ask any follow up question you're kind of screwed because you actually did nothing but pay for it. so unless your only goal is to have your name attached to a project that has some well-known actors in the tiny pond that is audio drama, this shit is worthless.

so overall, I think the tiers are reasonable theoretically (minus the last one), but the lack of mock-ups for the more interesting stuff is definitely hurting that assessment.

The Campaign Itself

"About Among the Stacks"

minor gripe right off the bat, why is everything in this section a bullet point? those are for things in a list, which this is not. just leave them as paragraphs, which is basically what you've done anyway.

sorry that was distracting me. but let's talk about the actual content and some general advice.

the first thing I expect to see here is your elevator pitch. I talked about this in the video section, but since not everyone will watch your video (especially in this case when they see it is 10 minutes) you have to put it here. tell me why I should keep reading past your first paragraph. if I only read this campaign I would have no idea what your show is about or trying to be about.

instead what we're given is the setting and framework of the project. honestly this is good to include when there is a driving idea like "[creating] an open and inclusive space for creators to tell the stories they want to tell within the framework of the Library", and I take no issue with the inclusion of this. it could be said a little tighter (something this whole campaign could have used was a bit more editing to be honest), but the core principle is communicated and it sets the tone for what this project is claiming to be.

the 4th bullet should come next as it is the first mention or hint at the podcast feed even existing already. this is your way to prove that you can and have made stuff for the project and it doesn't only exist in people's heads. also, why is there no link to it?

it is nice to get the framing of who this project is largely coming from more than just looking at the name "Nigel McKeon" (she/they according to the website) as who created the campaign. it would be nice to get links to stuff like the poetry or podcasts to get a sense of her work, especially as they are asking for this much for what is essentially blind faith based on what this page gives us.

it is worth noting that while Nigel definitely has experience as a "podcaster", they do NOT have experience making an audio drama. her projects to this point have largely been unscripted talk podcasts such as Archive Admirers or Hyperfixations, so there is no indication of the quality of writing to expect from the project, even with a team of writers working on it. speaking of...

very interesting that our last paragraph here and the only image of this section is about some of the cast. this point is devoted to bragging about 6 of the well-known actors who are already involved in the project and listing their recognizable credits. the image below shows of 20 of the actors (including those 6), and even that barely scratches the surface of the 51 actors listed on their website as cast.

yep, 51. it is unclear to me how many of those are for one-off parts or actually considered core cast, but they are are named characters and apparently listed as equals so this is what I have to work with here.

it just so happens that these listed and pictured actors are the biggest names involved. which I get to an extent, you want to attract people to the project and that's a good way to do it. but that shouldn't be the ONLY thing your success is counting on. there are SO MANY big names attached here that it's suspicious to be honest.

also. why the fuck do you only mention your crew in passing here?

I don't care how talented your cast are, they won't be able to save bad writing or editing. your crew is just as important and yet THEY get no more than a passing mention. there are some really great people attached to this project and you are giving them zero recognition for all the hard work they had to put in already. before you could record these well-known voices, people had to write the scripts and flesh out the characters. so treat them with some respect for that!

I cannot even begin to communicate how infuriating it is to see the lack of credit given to the whole creative team, because the way this is presented feels like it's just Nigel and maybe some guest writers. if that IS what it is, then fucking say that! it isn't hard to communicate this stuff, and it is your duty when asking for this much money. always err on the side of being verbose.

I do think that generally more care needs to be taken with word choice and what is being highlighted though, because as with the tier descriptions some stuff is too vague or implies something that maybe isn't true.

I don't want to make assumptions about the people involved, particularly Nigel (she/they) who's project this is, but when I look at the pictures on the website of all the cast and crew involved in the project, I see a lot of pale skin. some of this might speak generally to the problem we have in the audio drama community of being very white, and it should be recognized that there is an amount of privilege associated with having the time and money to take on these kinds of creative hobbies. even with the bar for entry being much more accessible, things are a bit homogenous. but if you are claiming to care about platforming diverse and marginalized people, you need to show that. "show don't tell" is kind of the backbone of a lot of my issues with this campaign when it comes down to it, but this is one of those places where it really fucking matters. performative activism is something that we see a lot of, and I don't want to get into it here, but just platforming queer and ND voices is not the same as being diverse. queer activism and racial activism and disability activism and economic activism are all connected when you get down to it.

don't say you have an "incredibly diverse writing team" when I can look at the website and see that everyone is pale and very young. this does not read as diverse, it reads as "I didn't realize other neurodiverse people existed until I got deep on the internet and now I understand we are a marginalized group too".

(don't get me wrong, neurodivergence is absolutely a marginalized thing; it is still incredibly difficult for many people to get accommodations and help with managing the different struggles they may have. but even in that realm, it includes more than being ADHD or autistic and I'm getting on my soapbox so I'll stop here)

aside from all of that there is a piece of incredibly important information that just isn't here. how many episodes are you trying to make with this.

saying this will fund "season 1" doesn't mean anything when a podcast season can be anywhere from 40 episodes (The Magnus Archives) to 15 episodes (Jar of Rebuke) to only 4 (Samite). what does "one season" mean to your project? this is particularly important when it comes to justifying your budget and the breakdown of that work, as I'm about to get to.

(in that vein, communicating information like approximate episode length is also helpful I think for giving people an idea of the actual scope of the project; 20 episodes at 30 minutes each is 10 hours of content, but at an hour each that's twice as much work for all involved parties)

fucking hell, onto the next section where things do not get better.

The Budget "Breakdown" and Rewards

did you even try to make a chart where the text didn't go outside of the boundary, mate? also I hate these colors, it hurts to look at.

this is the chart provided, which basically just mirrors was the first bulleted paragraph states in terms of project budgeting. obviously for this section the monetary amounts did not automatically convert for to USD, but since all money is basically worthless right now it's pretty close to a $1 = €1 conversation rate anyway.

the project budget is split into 3 big categories: cast, crew, and artists. and split no more granular than that, which is big problem #1.

especially when there is no transparency on this page about how many people are involved within each of these groups, this could mean vastly different things and send a poor message generally. some people will look at this and not understand whether it is a fair ratio or not without the context of numbers.

if I were to do some rough calculations based on the information readily available via the website, we have:

20% or €4,000 to be split among the artists, of which there only seems to be the one on the website (Claire) and the one who made the character designs pictured lower on the page (@qkayoo). so that is €2k going to each of them roughly, though I know that likely isn't the actual shake out because Claire is responsible for all the episode art in addition to any of the other work being done specifically to fully campaign rewards like the t-shirt design. I'm also guessing that promotional materials for social media are included in this, but that's unclear since there's never any mention of marketing as part of the budget or campaign overall.

30% or €6,000 to be used for crew wages, which includes writers, composers, and producers. again, no mention of how many people this is or what the breakdown of that larger percentage is to each of these groups. should I also assume that there is going to be adequate compensation for the directing even though it isn't mentioned here?

the website lists 3 people as either "music", "composer", or "original songwriter" (not sure what those distinctions mean though in this context) but are we talking about vocal tracks or ambient music or what? and how much unique content are they expected to produce? is it comparable to the expectations for the visual artists, and if so why aren't they receiving compensation that reflects that? these are the questions I ask myself when you give me this little information and don't even bother mentioning who is involved in this part of the process.

similarly we have 3 producers, most of whom wear additional crew hats. are they all working together on each episode or is the season going to be split between them to ease the workload? on that note, is there a head producer in charge of doing final mastering on all episodes to make sure they sound consistent, because that is a lot of additional work compared to the other two.

and then there are 9 writers, so I start to wonder what is the breakdown of that load. is everyone writing full episodes or are people just writing the stories and Nigel as showrunner is doing all the larger plot stuff?

basically I just want to know that people are being compensated appropriately for their time, particularly the people whose work is sometimes not thought about or invisible such as the dialog editors, mixers, quality check, etc. even if the person doing these things isn't asking to be paid for that, they deserves to be compensated for each part of the process they are devoting time to. paying yourself adequately is part of equitable pay, even when it's your passion.

50% or €10,000 for all the cast wages, which as I've pointed out is at least the 51 people credited on the website, though again there is no mention of that here. I won't assume this is to an equal extent, but even if you are listing folks who literally have just one line you still need to compensate them a base amount for the time and effort.

I'm not really gonna say much about fair wages, I think that without insight into a process you can't really pass much judgement on how much work is going in? for example, recording voice over for an audiobook is often compensated in terms of "finished hour", rather than factoring in the additional amount of time spent doing retakes and editing it all together. compared to a production that wants to pay actors for the time they spent total, including things like table reads, live-directed, and asynchronous sessions, that number is going to look very different. differently skilled actors may require more or less help and industry rates are also dependent on your level of experience in the field. some of these bigger names will have a set rate, some of them will not.

I think the largest issues with this section is just the complete lack of justification for ANY of these numbers. when you say "we have estimated it will cost this much", what got you to that number? are you using industry standard rates for general voice acting or did you consult with audio drama specific folks, because those amounts can be different. the more money you ask for, the more conscious you have to be of how it will come across. if I asked my mom to lend me a $20, she won't ask why. if I ask her for $100, she probably will. if I ask for $1000, she will definitely want to know what exactly I'm planning to spend that much on.

we're going to jump over the rewards paragraph for a second to hit the last bullet point since it really belongs up here will all this money information.

as I stated earlier, I have no issue with flexible goals. in fact, it's very nice that it is again addressed here, because I really don't think this campaign will hit that $21k USD goal.

however, what exactly does "paying equitably" mean in this context, because that phrase could be a couple different things. does it mean these same percentage breakdowns for every individually, meaning if I were going to have been paid $500 but it only gets 50% of the goal would I make $250? or does it mean that some people like the larger named actors will still make most of what they would have and people with only a few lines will make a few bucks?

the term "equitable" does not mean "equal", they are genuinely different things. so apart from the larger percentage breakdowns being the same, which were already too broad of categories, it doesn't really tell us anything.

additionally, if the project doesn't get fully funded will there be any money paid out of pocket by Nigel or other crew to cover any promised or guaranteed minimum pay? I would assume that for some people involved this is very much part of their contract/agreement, formal or informal.

also, normally I would like to see the stretch goals section up here rather than down near the bottom as it is for this campaign.

but that's all for the budget, there's not a lot of information to work with here and I've already covered pretty much everything I can think of.

okay, back up to that rewards paragraph we jumped over.

there isn't very much to say about the rewards in this section because the campaign itself says basically nothing. this is where I looked for further details on any of the items promised by the different tiers and the only thing I found was a brief paragraph, a t-shirt mockup (that you can't see the design on, this will never not baffle me), and two character designs for the Librarian Guide, which the caption mistakenly refers to as the "Library Guide". proofreading is important folks.

let's look at this one paragraph though, because there is something very incorrect about it. if this were Dora I'd ask you to point it out for me, so fucking say it at your phone if you spot it:

did you catch any of the issues/inconsistencies here?

the first one is small: "thanks on our social media pages and website". this is the first mention of the website existing anywhere in the body of the campaign, and there isn't even a hyperlink to it. the lack of links on this campaign is just generally baffling.

I'll come back to the middle ones because they are the same issue twice, and the last one is another small nitpick: if you executive producer reward is the highest tier, why are you not presenting it that way here? from reading this I would assume name a character is the top prize for backing, not the fancy vanity credit. like I said, I fucking hate it as a reward, but you are the one trying to sell it to me as such and not doing a good job of it.

okay, so the thing that actually made me stop in my tracks and scramble confused to see if I missed something is the inclusion of 2 rewards that don't seem to exist. why are you claiming that "perks for supporting the crowdfunding include" t-shirts (note this is plural), posters, and pins.

let's take a brief detour with "t-shirts" plural. if you think this sounds pedantic, it really isn't because saying "a t-shirt" was always on the table. there is no tier at which I can support and receive multiple t-shirts, there are not multiple t-shirt design options. no reason to use plural phrasing here when everywhere else it is clearly a singular, feels like a mistake or trying to sound more impressive than you are.

posters and pins however, are entirely fucking new to the conversation we're having. I will point out that the concept of a pin set is mentioned in the stretch goals section BELOW this one, so reading top to bottom as one would expect that isn't known about yet. but even if it were, this is the paragraph talking about your INCLUDED REWARDS, which DOES NOT include your stretch goals. these are the things that someone can explicitly receive for backing your campaign, not the things they might get if you make enough money.

also you can't even make the stretch goal argument for posters however, that shit is not mentioned once anywhere else on the page, not even as a digital reward.

my guess is that this section was written before stuff was finalized or scoped down to the one t-shirt and limited physical goods, and just not updated because no one read over the campaign before launch to point out that adjustments were needed.

"Other Things We'll Be Doing"

just one paragraph here, should be a quick section to review.

right?

RIGHT?

it feels incredibly strange to me that you are asking for this much money when you admit that you are new and not "established members of the AD scene". just very weird behavior generally.

but as for the actual content here.

why the fuck are you promising so much stuff that isn't part of making the show. all of these things take time and energy and people caring enough to make that worth it. if you stream yourself playing a video game for 12 hours total and no one watches, you've spent 12 hours not actually connecting with the community. streaming is work in and of itself with no guarantee of any kind of interaction. and even you do have folks in chat, it's still incredibly one-sided and the streamer's first priority is the game rather than that communication.

the same goes for all these other events, except maybe the hangouts if the entire purpose of those is to interact with chatters. but it's more likely that's just some cast and crew in a discord call that happens to be streamed rather than an interactive type of thing.

in fact, none of these events actually connect you with your fellow creators or prospective fans except, as I said, potentially the hangouts and readthroughs. where is the actual community engagement and outreach? how is any of this supposed to help the project?

this shit is some of the worst to me and it will do nothing but slow down the entire project, because ALL of this requires way more work than you think it will. work that doesn't serve any purpose as far as this campaign goes.

if you want to do these things outside of it, go right ahead. but don't pitch it as part of this or you are implicitly saying that this crowdfund is kind of also funding all of that rather than just making the show itself and fulfilling rewards. this is a lot of time commitment that people are either being paid for or being asked to do as free labor for the show.

also, we once again have issues with being vague here. how many events are you planning to do for each of these different things? who will be hosting/participating in them for the more casual ones like the gaming and TTRPG streams? are these things planned for during the crowdfund period, after the crowdfund but before season 1, during season 1, or a mix of all three?

oh yeah, and what do you mean by "a full cast readthrough of the prologue", because from what I could tell above you have 9 episodes of a "prologue season" out with however many more to go. so is this a full readthrough of this season 0 or is there a DIFFERENT prologue yet to come? and if there IS a different singular prologue episode, why should I even bother with the stuff you are releasing right now?

Milestones

I like this section, it's genuinely good stuff. enticing people to contribute for immediate bonus content is a great way to drive engagement and it can snowball as more funding means more sneak peeks means more eyes see your campaign.

WTF Are These Stretch Goals

not gonna lie, stretch goals is the first place I go when I check out a crowdfund campaign. it says a lot to me about the larger project priorities and reveals a bit more about what people deem as fair compensation for work.

first off: why did you attach a date for when you came up with the stretch goals? all this does is tell me that you potentially sat on launching this campaign for 9 days (launched March 1), which honestly doesn't matter to me but feels unnecessary for me to even wonder whether something was going wrong behind the scenes. just get rid of it, if for some reason you have to update or edit the goals you can make a note then with the date and change you made for transparency.

second: I think it's generally seen to be more effective to hide the majority of your stretch goals until the prior one is reached. this adds mystery and gets people excited dreaming up the "what-ifs". and it stops people like me from judging the feasibility of your numbers up front like this.

also, I do want to point out upfront that stretch goals are not necessarily meant to be seen as a value equivalent for what is being offered. it is an encouragement to get above and beyond and should theoretically be more about raising the overall wages of involved parties with only a small amount pulled aside for the perk.

but let's just go down the list:

"Stretch Goal 1: If we reach €22,500 we will write and perform a digital exclusive livestream of new Among the Stacks content"

so this is something that will happen for only €2,500 additional. which, to be honest, that number feels a bit off for the implied work required, but since "Among the Stacks content" could just mean one more short story, I'm not too concerned with it. just remember that a livestream also requires production work and organization to be done, especially when you are trying to plan around optimal times for your listeners and availability of actors from various timezones. the difference between GMT and PST is 8 hours fyi.

"Stretch Goal 2: If we reach €25,000, we will be able to bring out a small line of Among the Stacks related enamel pins."

yeah no. for a couple reason.

firstly, there is not even a single mockup of what these might look like so why should I care? all of the art we've been shown so far for the show would not translate well to an enamel pin because the level of details is wrong for that scale.

also, what does "a small line" mean? does that mean 3 or 5 or 10? making one pin is a lot of work, let along multiple designs that each have to go through their own proofing phase with the manufacturer.

speaking of.

I didn't really get into the manufacturing thing much when I talked about rewards earlier, but that kind of thing is a real risk. I see and know a lot of pin makers who wind up with more "B and C grade" pins than ones they feel comfortable selling for full price. so what are you going to do if you finish at €25k and there's a manufacturing issue? do you have a contingency built in? have you made selected a possible factory and made blanks with them? are you sure they aren't a scam, because that's also a real problem that goes on with places using photos from other people and then running off with your money. there's a reason this thing is an entire job to wrangle in itself, and at only €2,500 above the prior stretch goal that could be a really slim buffer to work with.

and all of that has to be done for every pin design. this isn't like stickers where you can see a mockup of the die-cut. this is hours of work and communication past just getting a design from your artist.

now, I should point out that this does not say anything about how these will be made available. with no mention about the tiers as part of this, I'm assuming it will not be something added to every tier above a certain level, which is the right choice I think. the implication to me is that this is basically the seed money to then offer it in their website store. this is not something talked about anywhere, so I am potentially making a big assumption there, but I do know they have one already. whatever the case, some people will get the wrong idea about what this goal means because it isn't being specified and maybe think that they will be getting pins in the mail for backing the campaign. clarity is important.

which, also. how much of this is going to pay the artist(s) and will your artists be getting any kind of royalties from sales of this or other store goods? I am full of questions and you aren't answering any of them anywhere.

"Stretch Goal 3: If we reach €50,000, we will be able to create physical books of our scripts featuring notes and commentary."

again, lets talk manufacturing and proofs.

there are a decent number of options for getting a book printed, but that number is cut down when you have specifications involved like "notes and commentary". what this means in practice is probably something like irregular margins to make room for these, the addition of annotations that then must be matched to the proper pages depending on book size (since no way will it be an 8"x11" sheet the way that your google doc scripts are, especially if it's a paperback).

this also means lots of time doing page layouts, checking over the whole book digitally, getting the proof to verify things are right when printed, getting cover art, etc. and which scripts are we talking about for this? prologue season and/or the whole of season 1? in that case, what's the time frame you think that kind of project would take and who is going to paid to do all that work and make sure it includes all the most updated notes and commentary?

speaking of commentary, that sounds like a lot of extra work too since that's not a normal byproduct of making a podcast. whose commentary will it be, Nigel or the writers or a mix of cast and crew?

yes, this is a full €25k above the prior goal, but that is not a lot.

also, again. where will this be available? is it another store good that anyone can buy? how much do you think you'll charge for it on top of this required stretch amount? I'm not necessarily saying you need to answer these questions now, but I need to feel like you have a plan to and I just don't.

"Stretch Goal 4: If we reach €75,000, we will be able to do some physical live shows."

this one is definitely bullshit.

first of all: "SOME"??? what does that even mean except for more than one? honestly with how spread apart some of the cast are in the world, I would be impressed if you could wrangle this amount of money into a single live show.

plus live shows are then further restricting the availability of people to attend, because whether you host it in Ireland where Nigel is from or elsewhere in the UK or Europe or US, there will be a lot of people who are disappointed that you aren't near them. you can livestream them too, but that's another layer of setup and coordination and we all know it's not really the same.

also, as a larger point we need to talk about the ableism of hosting live shows when the pandemic is still happening and killing people. you are excluding your listeners and your cast/crew who don't feel safe to travel to it, let alone be in an enclosed space for 30-60 minutes with people who likely won't be masking.

"Stretch Goal 5: If we reach €100,000, we'll reveal it if we reach Stretch Goal 4"

based on the other goals, I'm already sus what this could be. but the mystery of it is good, they should have done that for more of the goals.

"This is one suggested by Marguerite Kenner as a larger stretch goal, but if we reach €250,000, we can pay everyone involved, down to even one line performances, enough to qualify them for SAG recognition - which requires a person to have receive over £500 paid for work they have done."

this is naïve at best.

right off the bat, let's talk about what SAG is for a second. it stands for the Screen Actors Guild. SCREEN ACTORS.

let me tell you what this makes me think about your project:

you wish you were making a movie, but that's hard to break into so you settled for making a podcast.

podcasts are not for the screen, why are you trying to impress people as though they are. audio storytelling as a medium is an entirely different thing, and the best podcasts out there right now are the ones who are leaning into what makes audio unique. The Goblet Wire, The Moon Crown, and Human B-Gone are all great examples of using the medium for what it is rather than trying to turn it into something it isn't. we have awards in our space if you really care that much, there are some high profile ones too that you can submit for (tho some sure do cost a lot of money to even enter).

this drive by some audio drama creators to chase after tv and movies is a disservice to THIS medium. stop fucking doing it.

putting aside all of that, your project doesn't actually qualify for this.

the phrase "SAG recognition" isn't a real thing from what I can tell, the actual thing I think we're talking about is "SAG eligible".

one of two things needs to happen for a performer to actually be considered eligible:

proof you were employed in a position already covered by a SAG-AFTRA agreement and have worked at least one day in a speaking role

you are a paid-up member of an affiliated performers' union for a year and have worked and been paid for at least once in that union's jurisdiction

so what does that all mean? basically that this goal is pure bullshit.

also worth noting, in order to prove your eligibility to SAG-AFTRA itself, you must submit pay stubs. I don't think Among the Stacks has an official company or business registration that is being used to pay everyone? that means there is also no tax ID, and probably no formal contract which you also need. also I don't know what that looks like for anyone who ISN'T American, which a huge number of them aren't.

that's not even considering the fact that it's an application with them that needs to be approved. being eligible just means you can choose to submit. and they'll probably look at your 1 line in a random independent audio drama and say no anyway.

additionally did you know the base fee for a SAG card is $3000? and then when you have that you will need to report the ~$500 you made on your taxes, which just cuts into your earnings and gets you nothing.

I will say that it is a weirdly noble goal to be able to pay everyone a minimum of €500, even if they have a single line. but completely unnecessary and unreasonable and honestly the money could probably be better spent elsewhere.

but yeah that one made me fucking laugh.

one last more general thing: what will happen if the campaign hits €40k? will that €15k above the prior stretch goal be distributed along the same lines as the "equitable" budget split? will it go towards an emergency fund if your physical goods require more shipping than you thought or the pin manufacturer sends you largely duds?

"Alternative Ways You Can Help"

another section I have literally no problems with. it's always nice to acknowledge that not everyone who wants to support you will be financially able to. audio drama has a listener base that includes some surprisingly young people who may not have spare income, along with people paying for education, between jobs, otherwise financially strapped. especially right now.

I do think it would help these people if you had any links to your social media here though. literally any at all. even just mentioning the @ on twitter would be helpful.

The FAQ

an oft forgotten part of the campaign, the FAQ is actually super important and a great place to put information that didn't really fit anywhere else.

it is not where you should be making your show pitch.

it is for frequently asked questions about the campaign itself.

so let's look at what ATS has done with it. they only put two questions, so this will be quick.

the first question is: "What is Among the Stacks about?"

this should have been the first paragraph of your actual campaign, why is it tucked away here???

the second question is: "I haven't heard Among the Stacks - what podcasts is it similar to?"

again, this is fine information to put near the top of the main campaign page. but it's not a frequently asked question about the campaign itself.

also how have you STILL not linked the podcast feed, I am BAFFLED. also, you list a bunch of inspirations that I probably could have guessed based on your premise and pitch, but without saying anything about why or how you found these things to be impactful in the development of your idea. especially when one of your milestones is to release lists of things that inspired you, why did you include this at all?

so, what is ACTUALLY supposed to go in an FAQ?

the first thing you should talk about if you didn't cover it in the main text is when people should expect the project to start releasing the content. the "estimated shipping" dates that are on tiers are usually not a reflection of that, but more about the goods that are being offered. so it's important that you put somewhere when people should expect to hear the first episode of season 1.

it's also a good place to give people a sense for the scope of the project beyond the campaign, i.e. how many season total are you planning to make.

if you are shipping physical goods for any reward, it can also be helpful to address whether shipping costs have already been factored in or if that will be an additional fee on top of the listed prices.

tell people where to contact you if they have additional campaign specific questions. an email, twitter handle for dms, anything.

there are so many things that can go here for clarifying parts of the campaign, and you can add/edit it as actual ones do start to come in. but it is here to be about the campaign itself, and the questions should reflect that.

are we done yet? almost, I swear.

(I'm dying a little inside right now)

The Catchall

these are small general notes that don't fit anywhere in particular, but stood out to me as weird:

why is a link to the feed not within the first paragraph? on that note, why is there no link ANYWHERE in the campaign??? not to your podcast host or website or even social media. if someone stumbles across your campaign, how do they find you FROM it.

the repeated framing of this show in comparison to queer media that is distributed by larger streaming services (i.e. Netflix and Discovery) is very weird. the scale of those projects and therefore the monetary expectations are different because marketability and capitalism. anyone with a $30 microphone can create a podcast with enough work, this isn't a valuable comparison in the slightest. none of us in this space are pandering, why even draw the comparison as is done in the video.

as an added note to that last point, almost all audio drama is extremely queer, something I love. but it is not something that sets a project apart enough to stress it as much this and other productions do, especially when for many they are using the term to mean "there is a gay relationship" versus "we substantially have queerness as part of our characters and stories in ways that matter to it". both have value, but there is a difference between "this is a podcast about coffee" and "this is a podcast where people sometimes have a cup while chatting about something else"

maybe a petty one, but it's been bothering me: the logo generally looks bad in my opinion, but it looks even worse when blown up on a web page or in a youtube video because it was clearly not made with that kind of resolution in mind. I've had this issue with art I've done in the past and it sucks, but it just doesn't look good when you see those fuzzy edges. especially when the framing device of your whole story is a professional environment like a library, which would have very clean promotional material.

Closing Thoughts

this show feels like a disaster waiting to collapse in on itself. I could write a whole post about just that aspect and all the things that have made me generally suspicious of it, but from the point of view of this review of their campaign? it just feels like asking way too much for so little guarantee it will come together.

I'm not here to try and shit on a project that someone feels passionate about, I think that's a necessary part of making any good creative project and we have a staggering amount of that in the audio drama space. but people can get in over their heads or dream too big to handle if they aren't already prepared and experienced. I've talked with creators who set aside dream projects until they knew it was something they could handle. and there are so many cooks in the kitchen here, the level of coordination required to wrangle a production staff this large is not to be understated. I just don't see this turning out well for anyone involved and I think this kind of money should be spread broader in the community to help fund smaller more varied projects.

especially considering we are already for some reason getting TMA 2 and this feels like it's trying to be TMA 1.5

I really should have made this account back when that campaign was running, because wow did it have some terrible issues too

[characteroulette]

Some actually organised PL vs PW thoughts!!

--

Having experienced Layton games now, I can fully see how much PL vs PW is struggling to fit the Ace Attorney playstyle into itself hahaha

It's certainly impressive!! And you'd think it's a good match!! Both have point and click walk around sections, both have dialogue and flavour text as their main means for telling their story.

But where Layton games have puzzles, Ace Attorney has trials.

And for whatever reason, this ended up being WAY more difficult than it should have been.

For some reason, all of the text is paced really weirdly. You can see the Layton dev team saw how AA games would time their dialogue to replicate the feel of actual talking and tried their hand at that, but didn't quite make it. Often, there are just pauses long enough to be awkward before the sentence continues. To me, it reads as everyone talking really slow all of a sudden in this game (because Layton and Luke dialogue does this, too. It's not just Phoenix and Maya) and the pauses are in kinda unnatural spots as well. (At first I thought maybe my emulator was causing this, but nah, the cartridge itself does this, so this is hard coded into the game. It's just weird!! It's like their voices are just off enough for me to notice without actually being off!!)

OH RIGHT and another thing: the sudden voice acting!! This is par for the course in Layton games. Important scenes are voiced! But in Ace Attorney, they only got voice acting for their shouts and in Dual Destinies and onwards. Suddenly hearing voices read what look to be mundane lines is really cool!! I want Ace Attorney mainline games to actually pick this up, please.

But anyway, trials. Your evidence and profiles both are presented in an unfamiliar familiar way. Like yeah, that is how evidence looks and how the profiles are supposed to work, but there's just enough missing that it becomes kinda uncanny valley. Your badge isn't amongst your line of evidence. Profiles don't state how old that person is. You don't have access to either of these things outside of the trials. It's uncanny valley Phoenix Wright! It's uncanny valley Ace Attorney!! I can only imagine how a predominantly Layton fan feels about all this new and unfamiliar stuff is getting shoved into their lil puzzle game.

Pressing and Presenting still work as intended, but also!! You have an entirely different menu available to you at all times: Layton's trunk.

(We're not gonna talk about how items and mysteries Layton gets remain in there right now. That's also jarring to me as a predominantly Ace Attorney person; why do I keep Layton's things and thoughts and why can I not use them in trials?? It's because this is a Layton game. It's why he's billed first in the title. First a Layton game, with added Ace Attorney elements.)

Anyway yeah those are my observations so far. Puzzles are still jarring to me, but less so when taking that important detail into account (this is a Layton game, first and foremost). I adore Maya in this game she is straight up a creature of chaos XD

[shiki-stars]

Sailor Moon - Thoughts (S01EP23-EP27)

01-12 . 13-22 . 23-27 . 28-46

spoilers! regarding| nephrite's downfall

I think I'll try to do make and post these daily... instead of finishing a whole season because then it ends up being a lot I have to talk about at once.

This one is mostly justs random comments about whatever.

Jan. 3

Is it just me or did they start amping up Rei's "aggressiveness"? Mainly getting very impatient and always trying to jump the gun with missions.

Usagi telling Naru to not have a crush on Nephrite anymore then immediately dips had me tweaking. Girl please, offer Naru more emotional support.

Usagi wishing upon a shooting star for Nephrite to "not be a bad guy" like GURL. Wish for your friend to wake up from being delulu and GET A GRIP.

"Nephtire, stop doing eveil deeds. Naru believes in you." NO?????? WRONG WAY TO GO ABOUT THIS???

"Sometimes, a girl can't stop loving, even if she knows better. She'll find a love she wants to believe in, no matter how painful it is. A girl always wants to believe that love conquers all." This would be such a good quote IF IT WASN'T TALKING ABOUT A 14 YEAR OLD AND THIS GROWN ASS MAN.

LET'S GO PLANT GIRLS FUCK HIM UPPPPP.

Funny green blood. Can't tell if that's censorship or his actual blood color. The thing is, after this scene I paused and went on a ramble about whether of not the Shitennou were humans or monsters. I'll just. I'll just show the screenshot but keep in mind everything I say was a scrunch of words that I was flushing out of my head.

"You're really mean, trying to interfere with two people in love!" EEUURURUGHGHE DON'T SAY THAT.

Rei and Ami each have their own catchphrases now!!! Rei for sure, but I can't tell if that's actually Ami's catchphrase or just... a sentence.

Nephrite's hand is as big as Naru's face do we not see the problem???

Have to say, I wish they would stop spoiling the next episode with the montage and obvious titles TwT. I have more problems with the montage than the titles because the titles make it easier to find specific episodes, but the montages just spoil. It's obvious once an episode starts, who is important to the story and whatnot, it's easy to tell who's going to become a sailor soldier, but they way they literally spoil it the episode before is just TT.

ALSO. I'm trying to figure out who's who for the color of the roses in the intro and there's two pinks??? (... Is it supposed to be Usagi and her... I accidentally spoiled myself heheh when searching up something about Usagi.)

Banana.

I didn't know the symbol for Jupiter was a "4" so I got real confused when I first saw this. Like Makoto being the fourth sailor soldier so she gets a four on her forehead, why didn't Ami and Rei get "2" and "3" respectively then LMAO.

What do you mean "good-hearted humans" didn't the guy in the last episode literally chat every arcade place?

Oops I reached max amount of pictures. It's a sign for me to SHUT THE FUCK UP. I ramble and talk about too much stuff that does not matter. Will definitely be changing the way I do these posts.

Last comment: Ami and Ryo are cute. I take back my comment about Ami being a lesbian because this is a genuine healthy relationship.

01-12 . 13-22 . 23-27 . 28-46

Beige Stars - Divder @/saradika-graphics Purple Hearts - Divider @/cafekitsune Purple Heart Fairy Lights - Divider @/benkeibear

[lutzlig]

Tumblrwoman Election Wrap-Up

To celebrate the end of this election, I'm gonna answer the rest of your questions!

First off:

Thanks everyone for participating! This ended up way bigger than expected. It was pretty exciting, seeing everybody chime in and participate.

Shoutout ESPECIALLY to all the people making fanarts, memes, etc... you people are incredible!!! Most of it can be found under #twe23, be sure to check it out, everybody!

Here's some highlights you people have made:

this github live number tracker made by @twilight-sparkle-irl during the vriska/katya poll. A THRILLING read!

this hollow knight miku oc by @anonymous-utility!! shes so cute...

@seasoned-cabbage made a wiki sandbox for the polls... it's so satisfying to see the stats laid out like this : D

@unidentifiedfroggy wrote fanfiction that just perfectly encapsulates the whole experience : ' )

General Q&A

"Who did you want to win?"

I myself think Vriska deserved the title most! I think vriska is just as integral to tumblr as Cecil is, if not more.

As for the other 2 involved, they didn't really care who won!

How often did you hear "Why are you pitting 2 bad bitches against each other"?

Often! One of us was going to count, but he got so annoyed that he stopped. You people need to get a new sentence.

"Why are there minors in a tumblrsexywoman contest?"

It's not a tumblr sexywoman contest, it's a tumblrwoman election! Before we made the poll, we considered whether it's better to throw out the minors or remove the "sexy" angle. We decided on the latter, mostly because this kind of competition would feel incomplete without tumblrgirls like miku and vriska.

Will you be doing this again next year?

Hm, not sure. Probably not! At least, I wasn't planning on it. We did this on a whim, and this is (SUPPOSED TO BE) my art blog.

I might make a blog for it next year, if these are still relevant and the demand is high (which i highly doubt).

Why didn't you answer my question?

I got like 130 asks this week and most of them were cries of pain and outrage. I was also incredibly busy irl until a day ago. If I didn't answer your question, Sorry!

Concerns about Corruption

According to the tags on these, every single one of the polls was rigged in some way or another. Particularly grievous examples of this were Miku's loss (I suspect Vriskavoters doing foul play (I am vriskavoters. I voted Bayonetta to sabotage Miku. Then i spent the whole day listening to Miku voicebank comparisons.)), and Marcie's win (Somebody accused the Adventure time subreddit of having swamped the poll. The post in question had 19 upvotes. The poll on tumblr had 92,123 votes).

What's more, I've been offered bribes!! Several american dollars! The political landscape of tumblr sure is a scary place...

Manners

Some of you really don't know how to act. This goes out to a small (but very, very vocal) minority - don't be a dick! Just because it's the internet does not mean you can just insult random strangers! This is a poll about fictional women, this is NOT a place to call people the r-word or imply someone is stupid for liking a character.

Some people left pretty graphic, violent messages. Most of these were jokes, but still. Take caution with the words you choose. This should go without saying, but telling strangers to "eat glass" and the like is not acceptable behaviour.

In the end, this was a competition between fictional characters, so seeing people arguing in the replies and trying to gain some sort of moral high ground was a little bit saddening.

Most of you were nice though, luckily : )

Thanks

To everyone who left kind messages, to everyone engaging and having fun, the fan art, the posts, to everyone expressing their thanks to us - thank you!!!

In the end, this was a lot of fun, and it was nice to see the website come together like that!

What's next?

For the next few days, I'm going to be promoting my friends' projects as much as I can to scare all of you people off of my blog.

I got WAY too many followers from this and frankly, that is simply not acceptable. You all need to leave NOW, because I want to get back to posting art eventually and I would rather not be on everybody's timeline.

That's why I have decided to become a massive sell out and reblog my friends' stuff on main for a bit. Peace!

[bigbadredpanda]

Hi,, I hope I'm not bothering you with this and I'm sorry if my English isn't good, I hope you can understand my questions. I've been thinking about this for a while now and I tried to find information online but I found nothing.

MDZS is the first Chinese Novel I've read and I still haven't finished it yet,,but I've heard about rumors that said that MXTX is in jail, because she sold copies of her books. The rumor isn't true, however it made me wonder something,, I know China's censorship on lgbt related stuff is really heavy and that's why the donghua and drama adaptations of MDZS and other bl works are censored, but I didn't know that authors couldn't sell their novels.

So my question is,, how does MXTX earn money if she isn't allowed to sell her works? She has already finished 3 Danmei novels, and her works are really popular, they even have manhua, donghua or drama adaptations. The adaptations have earned quite a lot of money, but since she's an anonymous writer, does part of it even go to her?

To make the drama, the donghua and the manhua, producers had to ask her permission, I think. So, since the adaptations are doing well, she should get part of the profit, but how does it work? If the Chinese Government really is against lgbt themed works, shouldn't they have done something about her?

I really love her works and I hope that she earns something since she is the one that created all of them. Thanks for considering my question!!

Hi both of you and welcome to the cnovel fandom! Quick intro of the author, MXTX uses a pen name like many webnovel authors, it’s the abbreviation of Mo Xiang Tong Xiu which literally means “Ink Fragrance, Copper [Money] Stench” (墨香铜臭). Fun fact, it’s her mother who coined that name. MXTX wished to pursue a major in literature during university but her mother wanted her to graduate in economy instead while keeping writing on the side, that way she would have the fragrance of ink in one hand and the stench of money in the other.

We also know that she is fairly young, she wrote Scum Villain while she was a university student and she started working on the outline of MDZS in her final year. Tian Guan Ci Fu (Heaven Official’s Blessing) is the third book she completed and a fourth novel is/was in the works, its provisional title is “No rest for the death god” and is supposed to be a supernatural story taking place in a modern setting.

MXTX is one of the most popular webnovel authors on Jinjiang Literature City, the webnovel platform, but her popularity also comes with a great many detractors. You’ve heard some of the malicious rumours circulating in the English-speaking side of the fandom, it’s just a drop in the ocean compared to the outpouring of heated controversies in the Chinese side as the latter can have real-life consequences. There is a different nexus between the creator and the audience and the fandom culture is not the same either, it can be quite deleterious due to the tendency to report any content that one disagrees with.

Censorship in China is... ever-changing and nebulous. How severe it is depends on the medium. Nevertheless, gay literature (同志文学) does exist in China and it is distinct from danmei. I also want to nuance a bit the pervasive idea that anything lgbt is systematically and relentlessly censored in China. The reality is more complex than that and it would be dismissive of the hard-fought gains and visibility that Chinese lgbt activists have obtained these past two decades (some concrete examples: the work of the lgbt centre in Beijing or the pride festival in Shanghai). I don’t know if people are aware of this but lgbt dating apps are thriving in China, the most popular one, Blued, is also the largest lgbt social network worldwide. With that said, the official policy towards homosexuality is the three No’s: “no approval, no disapproval, no promotion”. A stance comparable to the “don’t ask, don’t tell”. It’s not explicit persecution but it manifests in the silencing of public discussion and the limiting media representation of homosexuality. In 2017, the top media regulator that oversaw radio, film and television  issued guidelines banning a number of things, this included obscene and violent content, homosexuality, superstitious pseudoscience (such as reincarnation or spirit possession). On top of that, there is also an ongoing crackdown on online pornography that gets increasingly intense. And that concerns everyone on the internet, it’s astonishing the lengths netizens will go to in order to circumvent the censorship, new slang is developed to refer obliquely to banned words, fanfics are published in image format to prevent text recognition, etc... The censorship might be increasingly prevalent but netizens push back with their resourcefulness. Pushing back is also not without significant risk. Perhaps you have heard of the case of the danmei author that received a severe jail sentence? A few Western media picked up on that and criticised the ruling that was deemed homophobic. Chinese reactions tell a slightly different story, the author's crime was not writing danmei, she was in fact accused of making a profit by illegally producing and disseminating pornographic material. I’m not too keen on the details but it seems she printed the books herself and sold them online. To some Chinese observers, the ruling was not discriminatory because she did break the law. To others, it was absurd because this law dates from an era when internet barely existed and it would have been much more laborious to mass-produce and share porn at that time. There’s a bit of truth in all these points of views. It’s also not disingenuous to say that lgbt content is more likely to be targeted than het content even if the charges are not directly lgbt-related.

Usually contracted authors of webnovel platforms have a more secure status. They get a fee from the purchase of VIP chapters as well as tips from the readers. Other sources of revenue arise when webnovels get popular enough to get the opportunity to be published through official channels or when adaptation rights are sold (I assume that the author receives a share of that deal but perhaps does not get any further financial gain from the adaptation or its merch).

To support the author, I would suggest purchasing TGCF on Jinjiang (guide) or buying the physical versions of her three novels in Chinese (shop, change to English with top-right world icon), the special boxsets of MDZS and TGCF come with tons of goodies!

Hope I could be of service and that my tirade was mildly informative ^^'

[dilucslittleangel]

𝐀 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐈𝐥 𝐃𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐞

Hello!! Usually I wanted to write this same thing with Scaramouche until unfortunately his canon past came out and I had to delete the whole thing- so now, while Dottore will sure take some time to appear in the game, I'm taking my chance to write how I think his past maybe looked like.

Some sentences towards the end have been taken off his artifact!

Word count: 1584

I'd like to say this may or may not fit into canon!! (however I wouldn't mind if this became canon)

So. Where to we begin?

I like to think Dottore had a golden child syndrome from a young age.

Most parents want to see their children thrive and flourish. In fact, the desire to see your child succeed is a normal desire of parenting. Moreover, even good parents sometimes have unrealistic expectations for their children.

But good child syndrome can happen when a child consistently reinforces their parent’s desires for them. These children don’t just want to satisfy their parents- they feel obligated and responsible for doing so. It becomes a significant part of their identity, meaning it affects their overall development. Either one or two of the parent role, are naracisstic.

A healthy child usually wants to succeed and make their parents proud. Golden children take it up a few notches. They may present as anxious children early in life. Similarly, they experience immense anxiety and guilt when they fail to meet certain expectations.

Despite how a golden child syndrome usually develops in a child, it was a little different in this case.

Dottore's father did not give him lots of attention at all. Just like the insane, crazy doctor / scientist he is himself now, so was his father. His father was a mad man, a man who's experiments are more important to him than his own family.

The young boy often watched his father, watching experiments a young boy like him should not see. All his father's attention went to the experiments, did he have to do the same?

The young lad did various of things, but they all were helpless. Nothing made his father even look at him, heck not even at the dinner table they talked. However he didn't want to stop trying. He had to keep on going, so he thought.

His mother? Dottore was just 7 years old when his mother started to feel worse and worse everyday. So worse even she had no other choice but to rest in bed, having a doctor visit every week as her husband was no doctor, just a scientist who couldn't care less. Why did they even marry?

Dottore brought his mother meals every day - at least whenever a helpful aunt came over. Dottore pretty much looked up to the doctor that came over every week. Did he also become so clever and brilliant to maybe help his mother? He sure thought so.

Day and night the young boy spend hours of looking into medical books, learning anything he possibly could. Often would he fall asleep on the ground, all exhausted from studying. He wanted to help his mother.

Besides studying medical stuff and trying to do anything that would make his father give any attention, he'd also spend other day and nights to get the best of grades, always did he bring good ones home. Never would you see anything below 95 points. Dottore didn't even think about having friends, they only were in his way and annoying. He had no time for friends, he only had himself.

Everytime he brought good grades home, he would bring the paper to his mother. She was more than proud of him. „One day you'll be such a handsome man, helping out so many people.. You make your mother really proud..”the sweet voice spoke. He couldn't let his mothers expactions down now could he?

More and more years have passed. Years of studying, years of writing good grades, years of wanting his father to also be proud of him. Dottore was under a pressure of making his parents be nothing, he didn't want to be a good-for-nothing, - a pressure he put himself under. He just wanted to mean something to both of his parents. He wanted to be worth living. Something cracked in the mind of his.

One day, the boy came home in the cold times of the years but he had great news, he scored the best once more in a big test, wanting to share the great news to his mother. He hadn't seen his mother since yesterday, he was happy to see his mother again. „Mother! Mother! Look!”he said proudly as he ran upstairs, he didn't even put his backpack down. „..Mother?”he asked as he entered the room. He walked over to the bed and looked at his mother. Her eyes were closed, chest not rising nor sleeping. „...?” he gently shook his mother, having his hand on the mother's arm, he felt the coldness. The heater was on, how could she get so cold? It got him worried.

„Mother??”he asked loudly, keeping on shaking her till he heard it knock on the door. He put his test paper on the bed and walked downstairs. He opened the door, looking at who was knocking. It was the doctor, wanting to check on the mother as always. „Uhm Doctor.. I don't think mother is feeling well.... She's quiet and so cold..” he spoke. The doctor looked at him. „..?..”the doctor quickly walked upstairs, of course did the boy walk after him. Dottore stood at the door frame, watching the man.

The doctor stood there silently for a few seconds, shrugging a bit together as he suddenly left the room, walking downstairs. „Where's your father kid??” he asked. „I..don't know. He was suddenly gone one day 2 years ago or so..”he answered. „..what?? Then where's your aunt, let me call her, boy.”

Dottore didn't quite understand what was going on but he knew nothing good happen. He looked back at his mother. He walked up to her, climbing onto the bed and hugging his beloved mother. He brushed away the long dark blue hair. Silently, he sank his head on the mothers chest, closing those pure red eyes. He widened his eyes a little as he heard no heartbeat. „...Mother..”. What a shame, he was just supposed to turn 14 in a few days.

Many many more years have passed. While he grew up along his aunt, Dottore had not given up what he did before. Now he had to make his aunt all proud, now that he's the oh so poor failure that couldn't save his mother hm? At least he thought that way, again.

Now being proud 20 years, living on his own in a old lab, doing various of experiments no one would like to recall. He'd just become the madman his father once was. The word "failure" does not exist for him. He cannot be a failure once more, after all.. He's such a big genius. How could a hardworking child with a great smile go to a madman with a short temper who's plans cannot go wrong?

So judgemental the god of his homeland Fontaine, so the people. Fontaine's people were disgusted of the man, afraid of him, they wanted him gone.

Chased away with pitchforks, clubs and angry words, he took fled to the all famous Sumeru Academia where he continued his crazy studies and experiments. He had so many logical theories, yet no one wanted to hear them. One would not even like to look at him. He truly was sick of everyone, of everything.

Years later again, once more the man took fled. Next day awoken, the social reject's legs have given up. Falling into the sand, with a little lake aside, he took a look at his reflection. Half of his face had gotten burn scars, had the man's charm left his side too? Hand covering half the man's face, he remembered it all.

A night of a harmless experiment with potions and fire had kept the man awake. Yet, the man had been tired. Sitting at the table, where he rest his head on his palm, the man closed his eyes. Dottore silently listened to the liquid heating up under the hottest flames. Maybe him closing his eyes was a terrible mistake which he soon got to suffer for.

The liquid had been heated up too much, the man should've turned off the fire by now but he soon was about to reach the beautiful dream realm. Glass exploding and hot liquid splashing against half his face awoke the man. Quickly the man stood up and pressed the towel against his face, sharp breaths escaping, silent cries filling the room, free hand turning off the fire.

How foolish of him, hm?

The man shook his head and closed his eyes. A grip on his shoulder made the man turn around. „..Fatui?”

"Merely an enhanced human? If your great nation can furnish me with sufficient resources and ample time, I could even manufacture that which you would call a god. What say you?"

True indeed. First of the fatui has tracked him down. In the desert that shone bright like liquid gold, he inquired of the Snezhnayan diplomat:

"Will you treat me like the Academia did? Will you call me a monster, a madman?"

"Or will you treat me as my hometown did, and chase me away with pitchforks and clubs...?"

...

"Good. Then, we are now in partnership."

"As for the matter of your title — what do you say to this..."

Taken completely by surprise by the sheer irony of the title he was given, the young man burst into hysterical laughter.

If you'd know ask the man about his theories and experiments, shall you see a sparkle of excitement...

...

(Drawing of Dottore in the age of four. From right to left -> "Daddy" "That's me!" "Mommy")

[cheekygreenty]

Little Witch - Part 14

The Darkling x Reader

You felt fine after dinner, the food quickly replenishing your dwindled physique, but you didn't go back to work. You took Aleksander's advice and took the rest of the day to rest and take your mind off the countless tasks you had. There was one thing you needed to do though and that was thank Zoya for today.

She didn't have to do any of it, in fact, you believed she hated you from the minute you interrupted Aleksander's meeting. You were told by a servant she was out training Inferni's and so you made your way down to the Etherialki training grounds. She stood there, the image of a goddess. Her dark hair fell down her blue kefta in defined curls, collecting small snowflakes.

There was no indication she'd been involved in a deadly attack a mere 4 hours ago. Saints, I think I have a crush on Zoya. Nevertheless, you walked over to her, calling out her name to grab her attention.

'Deputy, how are you feeling?' She looked worried yet relieved to see you standing in front of her on both of your legs.

'Y/N will do Zoya.'

'Alright then'

'Thank you for today. I don't know what came over me.'

'We all have our moments. Some of us just hide them better' You couldn't tell whether that was a dig at you or not.

'You're an amazing soldier Zoya. I'm very impressed'

'Well I didn't just sleep my way to the top if that's what you're implying.' She turned her addicting gaze away from you, studying the young Infernis.

'I beg your pardon?' You were taken aback.

'How's your leg?' She tried to change the topic but you weren't ready to.

'What do you mean Zoya, spit it out.'

'You know what I mean Y/N.' Why was she avoiding the conversation if she brought it up in the first place?

'Are you and Gener-' Is this another thing he had lied to me about? You vaguely remember thinking the two had been involved when you seen them in the same room but it passed quickly, surely he would have told you, especially if it was with one of his most trusted Grisha? The thought was another painful blow to your gut. They just kept on coming. You couldn't finish your sentence for she already answered it.

'No.'

'Zoya'

'Not anymore... Alina is here now' The strong feisty woman was gone now, in her place was a hurt and rejected woman. You were old enough to see it, you had been her before, hell you were her now. You looked at her striking beauty, thought about her incredible skills, and then stupidly compared yourself to her. If he rejected her, you're next. Your silence must have comforted her more than words could, for she shrugged her shoulders and said

'He keeps saying she's his equal, the day to his night' His equal. That's what Alina said.

'You don't need anyone Zoya. I can promise you you'll amount to great things on your own.' Despite the hurt you felt, you focused on her.

'Well as of right now I'm stuck to skiff trips and when you request me' You eyed her inquisitively 'Our dear General's doings.' she admitted.

'What gave you such an honor' you teased.

'I got into a riff with the precious Sun-Summoner after she vexed me.' She shut her eyes tightly as if trying to forget the memory.

'She doesn't strike me as the vexing type-' Your conversation was quickly interrupted when an Inferni accidentally set alight more than just the mannequin and Zoya scrambled to put it out, scolding the boy in the process.

'I'll leave you to it then'

You walked away, hurt and on the verge of tears. You needed to speak to Aleksander, you were sick of him lying to you but you were even more tired of feeling that severe urge to cry every time you thought about him. You came here to do your job and to show everyone you had your powers under control, yet all you've done so far is the opposite. Saints be damned you would walk away from your position because of a complicated relationship, you were better than that. But you also recognized that if you confronted Aleksander about all of this, he would either have to tell you about his plans for Alina or lie again, and you knew he would lie. It was a vicious cycle, one that wouldn't end. It was heartbreaking knowing that the man who claimed to never stop loving you could lie to you so easily.

You were right to question your trust in him, he never gave you a reason not to.

***

He was sitting at his desk, back turned towards you. You hesitated, the thought of running out the door and locking yourself in your room sounding pretty attractive. Maybe a good cry will fix this.

'Y/N I thought I told you to rest' He spoke calmly, his hand never dropping the pen. You shut the doors, not wanting the guards outside to hear what you were about to say. This made him turn around.

'We need to talk'

He dropped the pen and paper and stood up, indicating he was all ears. You glued your eyes to his knowing your vulnerability peeked through but you didn't care to hide it.

'What are your plans for me, Aleksander?'

He cocked his head to the side, confused. 'What?'

'Why keep me around when Alina is here?'

You were never the jealous kind, but you came to realize this wasn't jealousy. It was disappointment and aching after being away from him for almost a century. You had built up this life in your head, one where everything was perfect and Aleksander hadn't changed but you raised the bar too high. The bad parts of Aleksander faded away with each year and the best parts of him enhanced in your mind. You had forgotten what he was truly like, plus coming to terms with the fact that he lived a seemingly happy life while you were gone stung a bit too. With each day, the disappointment turned into hurt and anger.

'Y/N I already told you, I have a plan.'

'So you expect me to watch you and Alina fawn over each other while I stay in the shadows being a dutiful Second in Command? I may be loyal but I'm not going to blindly follow along Aleksander, not anymore.' It's making me miserable.

His hands reached out for you but you moved away. 'You know I love you Y/N' He said as if the foolish statement would make your worries and anger melt away.

'Then act like it'

'It's not that simple.'

'It never is, is it?' You bitterly laughed. What's the point of loving somebody if you're not willing to do everything to make them stop hurting?

'Why won't you tell me?' Your voice was a whisper he barely registered. 'Do you not trust me? Cause I'll admit it right now, I may love you, but I don't trust you Aleksander.'

Your admission hit him like a pile of bricks. He was brought back to when you first met, your shaking body radiating hostility as you rode in the carriage with him. He tried to assure you you were safe, you were one of his Grisha now, but you were having none of it. You didn't trust anybody for months after you arrived in the Little Palace, especially him and right now, it was all back to square one.

'Have I really given you that many reasons to not trust me?' It had been so long since he had somebody to care for and love that he forgot how to act around you. Perhaps he was back to square one too.

'Yes. Your sly comments about killing the King and finding the stag, your relationship with Alina, even with Zoya- Aleksander you're lying to me every day and you think I'll still be compliant. I'm not the same Y/N you remember.'

'You know what I want Y/N. You've always known'

'I do, but I need to know how you're going to do it all. How can I be supportive when I don't know what the hell is going on around me. A goodnight kiss every now and then won't fix this if you're doing the same to somebody else'

'Is this what this is? Your way of saying I'm fucking my Sun-Summoner on the side?'

'I never said that. All I wanted to know was why I'm not in on the plan that's supposed to give us more power. Is it because I'm a loose cannon, are you scared of what I'll do if I won't agree with you?'

You were sure of one thing; while you were gone nobody dared to disagree with the Darkling and he had grown to get used to it. Power corrupts, resistance humbles.

Somehow you still held your composure, albeit it was difficult. Aleksander however, was losing his temperate demeanor. He was pacing the lengths of the room and his hand had brushed through his hair countless times, the image of someone who was backed into a corner they couldn't get out of.

'I haven't told you because I don't want you to get burned. If it goes wrong it would be good to have some of us not hanged for treason would it not?' Bullshit. He must've forgotten you had the power of a heartrenderer. Aleksander was lying right through his teeth.

'You and I both know that's not true. If history is any indication then they'll turn on all Grisha.'

'And you'll be here to make sure they don't.' He tried to reason but you let out a loud laugh.

'Up until 2 weeks ago you didn't even consider giving me my old post back, do you really expect me to believe you changed your strategy in a matter of days?'

He stayed silent and settled against his desk. His crossed arms showed he was in no mood to discuss any further but you weren't done. He was going to tell you everything whether he liked it or not. You were sick of being kept in the dark. You had your title of Deputy back now, yet you still had no idea what truly went on and had no real sway against the top-ranking Grisha who no doubt were in on the plans. Power corrupts, resistance humbles, and you were done being humbled.

'Aleksander don't make me force it out of you' As soon as the words left your mouth you tried to find some part of you that regretted them but came up empty-handed.

His head whipped around with whiplash speed. You could see the internal battle going on behind his eyes of whether you would actually make do on your threat. You didn't know whether it was empty or whether you actually would do it but it was tempting.

'You said you changed, but I don't think you did' He retorted, eyeing you up and down with a look of displeasure. The situation was a shift from the usual, this time he was the one losing control and spiraling whereas you were the perfect example of a calm before the storm. The Little Witch he had grown to love and worship.

'I'm stronger, I can be stronger. I am limitless' You prided yourself on the restraint you'd shown thus far. You were in a palace full of Grisha, of Healers, a Tailor, a Sun-Summoner yet you didn't make any moves to take anything. The old Y/N wouldn't hesitate to take what wasn't hers. Maybe that's why you would burn out, lose as you gained. This time you knew how to do it properly, how to be an Elemental who yielded it all.

'Your quench for power is contending mine, Sweet Y/N.' For the second time in your life, you saw fear in Aleksander's eyes. He always had a feeling you yearned to have a stronger grasp of the Second-Army and for so long, even now, you tried to lie to yourself and deny it. But deep down some voices always whispered 'it's only right to have a leader who represents them all'.

'Wrong. I already have it, I just need to use it.' You raised your hands slowly, showing him you meant what you said. I'm really doing this. Your heart dropped when his raised too. He's willing to hurt me to protect his lies.

'There's no going back from this' You felt weirdly ready. Although you had never used your Grisha powers against Aleksander in a fight, you had a hefty slice of hope in you that you could overpower him. You had what he had and more.

'Y/N stop this.'

'Why? So that you'll lie to me again? Make me the other woman? It's inevitable that it comes to this' Your heart picked up in speed as your breathing became rapid. The influx of power at your fingertips itched to get out and make itself useful and containing it was painful.

Shadows pooled on the ground and around your feet yet you didn't know who they belonged to. Technically they're all his, I just know how to control them.

Panic shot through you as you felt a tendril of the black nothingness grasp around your wrist. No. You let yourself go, snapping the shackle and mirroring it on him. He had never experienced cruelty at the hands of his own power until now and was completely powerless as the black restraints rendered him useless. You concentrated on his pulse, soothing it to its normal rate then into a slow hum, relaxing his mind. This all felt so wrong yet so right.

'I'm feeling merciful today. When you feel up to it, tell me everything, or else I promise I won't hesitate Aleksander. We're the same in that manner.'

You watched as he gathered himself, anger rising onto his face. His moves were rigid and stiff despite your previous soothing.

'Time is ticking' Before he could say another word, you left the defeated Darkling, instilled with a sudden sense of pride.

______

Part 15

Here's my masterlist where you can find previous parts of this series!

Taglist (Tell me if u want to be added to the Little Witch taglist!)

@theonelittleone @searching-for-gallifrey @0-artemis @lostysworld @xceafh @fire-in-her-veinz @patdsinner33 @cleverzonkwombatsludge @wizardwheezes @aleksanderwh0r3 @tomhollandisabae @hotleaf-juice @justmesadgirl @exo-1204 @houseofdupree @oberonpascal @eireduchess