#also i am not like. im the know about really anything art history rn. i took a single shitty art history class last year

[cosmic--static]

dream as a painter this, dream as a sculptor that, writer, artist in general but what about. here me out, what about Art History professor dream who knows the techniques and the steps to creating a paintin in theory. and (Oil, likely) Painting professor Hob who also knows these techniques and steps, but also knows how to bend and sometimes break them to paint something meaningful or something from the heart that's not just strictly reality, but emotion, a story, and all these other things together as a record of the artist.

and dream learns from hob that it's not the specific steps and and following rules and recreating exactly reality that makes art so valuable, but rather that little part of yourself that you put into the piece to bring it to life

[athena14044]

having a mini crisis about my major 😔

[sout999]

dear tumblr ,,⋋(•◇•)⋌,,

thank you so much for all the support on my top surgery fundraiser, whether it's donating, reblogging or just staying patient with while i boost the link multiple times. which i am going to keep doing! it's no understatement that this is the single biggest positive thing that's happening in my life, and the time i need your help most. so i'm making my voice heard as much as i possibly can to spread the word, and i appreciate all your help with it. it makes me feel loved as a person and not as a bunch of posts on a dashboard, i've been getting pretty isolated because of mental health stuff so even the small connection we have from your act of goodwill is really meaningful to me

i've been ok, mostly putting in work on my masters degree, although some of the 'work' included having a massive breakdown from months of burnout, and i'm currently in the middle of trying to get an extension and rework a large part of my project. mostly this is due to the subject matter of my work having had a lot of loaded cultural and personal themes, which, when being forced to think about nonstop for two years, while also moving in with the family member who is the source of a large part of all the trauma of it, was just too much. taking a stance to axe the project in its current form was hard and made me feel like a quitter but now i feel relief and realize it was an act of self love as well

so i'm trying to recover from that and see a way forward to a project i would like doing, but it's hard when your circumstances have left you this depressed. i'm also trying to become more mindful of the way i use social media because when i'm anxious i fall very easily into the numbness sink of scrolling social media just to avoid thinking... i've stared a daily list of Ten Things That Happened That Day That Didn't Happen On The Internet, although i never get to ten, and i dont think even pre-internet leon would have gotten to ten, but it's good to aim high and take notice even of the little things. maybe to some people this comes naturally but i have to be very deliberate about it. i think this article sums up how im starting to feel about the internet rn

i've cut most personal spending down as much as possible to save up to my top surgery, so i have to find fun things to do that don't cost money. i'm trying to sew because my partner knows a lot about it and can teach me (i'm currently trying to engineer the perfect underwear, weird hobby but it's actually an amazing dysphoria-buster because most store bought underwear that fits my ass is so feminine, to be able to make a piece of something so intimate be so personal is, omg, an act, of, omg, self love). i've also sold off some things to help save for my top surgery and doctor visits, i'm trying to not get rid of anything i will really miss but it's also an enjoyable feeling to imagine the item disappearing as it becoming a permanent part of my history and of my sexy flat boy body (~o_o)~

if i end up having some free time outside of my masters degree, my current dream project is making pixel assets. i think with all the cases of my art getting stolen and used without permission it would actually be really cool to put something together specifically for public use. i miss kaoani and flower banners and stuff. i dont know if i can ever make something so saccharinely cute and tidy but if anything it's a nice space to visit

did you miss me coming to tumblr to make long winded posts about nothing? hopefully when twitter falls we will all be on here reading each others paragraphs, hopefully i'll have more going on in my life and can write even longer ones. here is a nice drawing, and a link to the fundraiser once again :)

https://gofund.me/958124b6

[comidyye]

HAIII HI IM ASH !!! im a TEENAGE brain surgeon FANARTIST whoo Also likes to make SH🥩Tposts and Edits here an theRRe !!!

they / He ★ minor ★ neurodivergent ★ excluusivly english Srry!!!

I USUALLY ONLLY REALY POST stuff about my CURENT HYPERFIXATION !!! My twitter IS pretty Dead rn And On tiktok (SAme @) I uslly post edits / memes!! CONTENT ⚠️ : ART MAY INCLUDE (TAGGED) GORE /BODY HORROR /BLOOD /EYESTRAIN .. anything suggestive is highly UNlikely However

ART: #doodle ★ RANDOM: #rambljngs

HERESSZ SOME OF my Strong Recent / curent fixations! ALSO : WHen i Fixate on a series i Usually have one character Im Obseszed w/.. I wil List them 2 !

★ resident evil ( rebecca, leon, hunk, stars wesker) ★ slashers/slasher adjacent (martin (77), billy lenz, leslie vernon, henry barrow)

★ spooky month ( bob / dexter) ★ yu-gi-oh [ s0 & dm ] ( ryou / s0 yami yugi) {reoccurring} ★ fnaf ( glitchtrap, vanny, funtimes, springbonnie) {reoccurring} ★ wii deleted you ( henry morris) {short} ★ kirby ( marx) {reoccurring} ★ animatronics - All kinds!! halloween/scary, old kids bands, theme parks ( rockafire explosion, circus playhouse band) ★ smile for me ( dr habit) ★ childs play franchise [ 1-2, 7] ★ super paper mario ( dimentio) {reoccurring} ★ welcome home - eeh... ( wally / eddie) ★ madness combat ( tricky)

"SO WHATS WITH THE CLOWNS">!>???????/

CLOWNS ARE PROALY MY BIGEST SPECIAL INTEREST! I KEEP A RUNNING LIST OF ALL THE FICTIONAL CLOWNS I KNOW. i have a google doc with MOST of them However the list is originally made/updated in Discord so the doc is likely an inaccurate count of the clowns. LAST CLOWN COUNT TOTAL: 178 CLOWN DOC If you know a clown not on the list send me their name thru The ask box Please! Fictional clowns from established series only - no ocs or anything !

OTHER INTERESTS NOT PREVIOUSLY MENTIONED CAUS holy moly thhrz a LOT

IN GENERAL : obscure, surreal, crreepy stuf !!! ... I <3 HORROR. ONE OF MY favorite things ever is cannibalism !!! Its super neat how versatile it is in media fiction-wise, and i like learning history and stuff around it too. i only think its a really cool thing in fiction though, dont.. im not weird <3

GAMEZ : DAY SHIFT AT FREDDYS(!), rhythm heaven, Klonoa, NiGHTS, um jammer lammy, splatoon, Omori, Balan wonderworld, undertale, deltarune, needy streamer overload, dropsy, FAITH: the unholy trinity, league of legends(ONLY FOR FIDDLESTICKS AS A CHARACTTR-I DONT PLAY), killer frequency, happy hills homicide, 1996 resident evil

SHOWS/SERIES : dont hug me im scared, the walten files, BUGBO, Ena, My little pony, kaiba(2008), tokyo mew mew, devilman ovas, milky way & the galaxy girls, the amazing digital circus, bee & puppycat, over the garden wall, infinity train, garfield & friends, gloomy bear, tokyo mew mew, wordgirl! MOVIES/MUSICALS: ride the cyclone, mean girls(musical), rocky horror picture show, trick r treat, re-animator, killer klowns from outer space, inu-oh, benny loves you, day of the dead(for bub), house of 1000 corpses, behind the mask: the rise of Leslie vernon, black christmas (1974), martin (1977), texas chainsaw franchise + chucky franchise CONTENT CREATORS: MARRKIPLIIER, JERMA! failboat, Dougdoug, dead meat, wicked masters, dawko, ANDY LAND, Itemlabel, CHRBRG, j-gems, lumpy touch, matt rose, planet clue, RTGAME, ooftroop, astralspiff, vernias MUSIC ARTISTS: WILL WOOD & LEMON DEMON . ... Chonny Jash, tally hall, CREATURE FEATURE, ROB ZOMBIE, KMFDM, icp, that handsome devil, oingo boingo, nero's day at disneyland, rusty cage, maretu, the stupendium, MSI(....Eeh..), duran duran, mcr, american murder song, s3rl, stolen babies(!). i am a hereditary connoisseur of 80s new wave/alt

DNI UHHH JUST DONT BE A BIGOT?!?! + FUCK PROSHIPPERS .. Dont piss on people 4 Their Interests n OH Sfw interactions Only Please SO nsfw dni Thannkz.. Just puting that out there Just in case.

BOUNDARIES:? Just Use common SEnse i would Think !! i dont think im crazy chronically online - school comes First Unfortunately . But if yurr that inntreseted in becoming Friends juuss lemme know howevrr You want .. Even with my own friedns I don't talk a lot however so dont expect full convos from me All the Time

ASK BOX..? anything related to me Just dump in there !! questions r whatevaa ... art requests about my fandoms r on the table, but dont expect me to do them!! low chance but still, shoot your shot COMMISIONS? if yur interested Ask and im sure we can work something out somehow : o)))! i do have a cashapp, but i dont have set pricing and i wont accept all requests SHIPS/OCS N SHIT? i generally dont really have any ocs n dont Really selfship unless like Platonic - I'm not a big shipper but may have a rarepair here and there - Real chill shit REPOSTS/USING ART? tell me if Yoou want to repost something somewherer - even if i do give the thumbs up Credit is required!!!! Feel free 2 use my stuff as a pfp just don't claim it as Your own -- Give Credit if someone Asks . Bare minimum Stuff

FUN BLINKIES/ STAMPS/GRAPHICS N SHIT

WOWOAOAOWA YOU MADE IT THIS FAR WHO EVEN ARR YOU >!>???!?>??

WELL thank You 4 Coming By < 3333333 SEE U AROUND!!!!!!!1

[camilaxmartin]

What are you studying at schoolll, or fav color, or animal, or genre books

Im just bored

okay OKAY

so at polish school it’s like in high school (like the general one in which i am also) it’s like even though we choose a path at the start (making 14 years old choose a path for their future is crazy but whatever😵‍💫) and we are allowed to change it but it’s a lot of work to do so, anyway for a person who doesn’t change anything we have the same subjects for four years but in the fourth one some of them just go away? cause at the end of a high school we have the final exam which is called ‘matura’ and it translates to maturity exam (i hate the name so badly) and it’s our only actual final in school. so for me personally i had about 14 subjects in the whole high school? (my native language, second language, third language, mathematics, geography, biology, chemistry, physics, p.e., economics, edb which is like first aid at some point?, civics, history, it lesson, arts and like an hour with our teacher like a raising lesson? but they don’t raise us there anyway💀)

so, i personally had everything on a general level for the three years and only my native language, second so english and civics on like an extended level

but in my fourth year in which i am rn, i only have my native language, second one, third one, mathematics, p.e, civics, history and that hour with our teacher (he teaches polish - my native, so it’s like an additional hour of it these days💀)

the subjects in the fourth year change according to what path you did choose that four years ago.

also, i chose a theatrical and art-ish path so it’s unbelievably funny to me that the art’s subject in this case it was theatrical learning, was only obligatory in my first year and then it wasn’t💀 but we can still attend it if we want so it’s okay! (i have a show at the actual theatre in june which im very excited about. same as i did last year:) (I PLAY CHESHIRE CAT THIS YEAR AND HES BASED ON ALASTOR SO I COULDNT BE MORE EXCITED)

*and we had those 14 subjects every year so it was like- yeah a WHOLE lot of work

*the way i said they make use choose out future at 14 i meant that when we are taking the maturity exam it’s really hard to pass a subject you’re not studying on an extended level cause, we write only three subject on a general level (native language, another language and mathematics) and then if we want to write something else we HAVE to write it on an extended level and it really sucks tbh cause i wanted to pass the biology one but when i saw the differences in what i study and what the extended level studies i knew i didn’t have a chance on passing so i gave up. and you know it’s hard to get into a medical collage (if i wanted to) without writing the maturity exam in biology so it’s… it’s fucked up i really don’t recommend the polish school system lol

~

for my favourite color i must say it’s either red or green i can’t really choose? and they also look good together so i always go with both of them but i adore dark purple as well!

~

I HAVE SO MANY FAVOURITE ANIMALS I LOVE THEM ALL!! but a few more favourite than others are: lynxes, hyenas, dragonflies, rabbits, cats, snakes, moths aaaand cute little geckos

~

i don’t think i have a favourite genre of books cause i literally read whatever sparks my interest, but looking at the books i’ve read i’d say it’s fantasy, romance and wlw (if we can count it as genre) i love history fiction also!! but it’s because of the seven husbands of evelyn hugo (but if we’re talking about tropes here THEN fake dating>>> rivals to lovers>>> (brokerdoll wink wink) friends to lovers>>> one bed trope>> aaand i think that’s quite it, it’s funny when everyone loves enemies to lovers and i just sit in my corner with rivals to lovers cause it excites me more when two characters compete for something they both want, rather than hate each other to their guts only to fall in love later. not hating in any way, just saying how i see it!)

~

thank you for the questions darling, I LOVE ANSWERING THEM!!🩷🩷

[bmpmp3]

I FINALLY watched that barbie movie that came out, i watched it last night! it was cute and pretty solid i thought. and then immediately after finishing that i watched the 1989 found footage tv movie ufo abduction/the mcpherson tape?

barbie was mostly very funny (that smallpox joke is inexcusable tho) it seems aimed for maybe a tween-teen kind of audience? i havent heard of many big huge movies aimed at that demographic recently so thats really nice

you know i was worried id be insufferable to both barbie movie fans and barbie movie haters because i have 1) a doll hobby 2) too much interest in doll history and 3) a complete lack of trust and respect for mattel as a company in the past decade and i figured you wouldnt be able to talk to me about it without me um-actually-ing every two seconds BUT it wasnt as egregious as i expected in regards to doll history myths

im especially glad they didnt call stuff like happy family midge and earring magic ken like "recalled" or "banned" or whatever 'cause thats just one of those myths LOL BUT discontinued is a weird term... yeah they were discontinued but like. all dolls are some day. from what i can tell both those dolls werent even like prematurely (heh) discontinued or anything most reports seem that happy family midge sold okay (although there seems to have been controversies at least with the wedding ring and cardboard cutout husband situations) and earring magic ken probably didnt sell well. because hes ken. the earring magic barbies in the line probably sold better LOL i guess a better term could have been like. controversial barbies? infamous barbies? sugar's daddy ken is true and hilarious tho, although if i remember correctly it was like a collectors doll meant for adults that just never got released in the first place

I DID love tanner's inclusion. i love that stupid shitting dog so much i wanted it so bad as a kid but i didnt care about the barbie so it would have been a waste of a playset

speaking of not caring about the barbie so like. i didnt really like barbies as a kid. i didnt really like dolls. i was a furry i only liked animal shaped toys LOL i did have one barbie i picked out myself, fairytopia kindlee who i loved and adored and lost and i dream about her forever. but yeah nothing less interesting to me both as a child and as an adult than a default face sculpt blue eyed blonde barbie toy, which is, as most adults interesting in the modern day toy industry can attest, the reason for our disdain for mattel HFJDKHFDJS actually its more than that - weirdly inflated prices for cheaply made clothes and low quality printing, strangely dated fashion, the weird all or nothing either bare minimum 5 points of articulation or full out double jointed mtm bodies (where is single jointed elbows...i miss her....), THE DECADE LONG REIGN OF TERROR OF THE GLUE HEAD (although we're finally past that), why are those collectors dolls so expensive they look the same quality, why did they make that collectors mermaid ken white from the brown guy in the concept art, in canada the pricing and availability is wacky so i imagine its even worse everywhere else outside the US, this is a personal thing but why does every mattel doll ive ever owned like combust at its joints randomly. am i cursed? do i have a mattel curse? ive been thinking about this for years why does the plastic just disintigrate the second it enters my home what god did i anger. what plastic god did i anger. help me my bloodline has been cursed by some sort of polyvinyl based deity beyond my comprehension

anyway as i was saying it was a little sobering watching a movie with a good fashion and prop and set budget do a take on the memories of what barbie dolls used to be and then thinking about that absolutely dire state we're in rn. bro i kept looking at outfits like modern mattel would never. theyre too busy making half printed t shirt dresses with a random ruffle attached on the side <3 but vintage mattel would also not be as diverse. although neither mattel has an actually fat doll so. um. thats the saddest um-actually im gonna do :(

ive been joking to myself for years that barbie is the name of the species, ken might be some kind of subspecies, so it is funny to see the brand in both real life stores and also this movie lean into that. barbie really is a species. they do move in herds. wait im getting distracted anyway years ago barbie had a big refresh where they leaned into the idea that anyone can be barbie - everyone is barbie: they brought out new body types (standard, tall, short, and slightly curvy) which was a big step, a bigger range of skintones and all kinds of new face molds and screenings, also theres like bald barbies and barbies with prosthetics and wheelchair barbies are made way more often. and all this is fantastic. but unfortunately the blonde blue eyed millie sculpts still haunt most non-fashionista releases.... stereotypical barbie u dont know what u are.... its a shame they didnt reference the millie sculpt in the movie i woulda died LOL

but i always thought it was pretty wack that they made all these cool dolls and then relegated them to wear t shirt dresses for eternity. i like that the budget line is so diverse and i dont even mind the lack of articulation that much (although i do miss basic 9 point articulation where are my elbows and knees) but GOD those outfits. can be ROUGH. and WHY do they never put like half of the diverse dolls in other playsets WHY cant basketball barbie be bald WHEN will i get that prosthetic leg barbie as a fairy like youve put all this effort into all this diversity and then ur doing NOTHING with it mattel im begging u. im begging u. make a fantasy wheelchair barbie i know you can do it. i know you can do it

im not even talking about the movie anymore sorry im just complaining about barbie dolls even tho im not a huge barbie collector JFKDHJRKF i was just picky about toys as a child and i want kids nowadays to get cool dolls too. i think a kid deserves a nice thing to play with that looks like them or like their family or other people around them that also allows to imaginative play you know

okay. okay in the context of the movie its fine and makes sense but lemme tell u. being so deep in the current state of mattel hearing america ferrera's character suggest "ordinary barbie" made me fucking jump out of my seat and point at my laptop screen i almost said outloud "YOUUU" jgekfjfd it was her.... she did this.... jk jk its a sweet message in the movie but just so u know in mattel's mind "ordinary barbie" translates to overpriced cheaply made sack dress barbie. orz

wait back on topic back on topic its a nice movie, im glad it resonates with a lot of people. the plot was a little strange but i dont mind, the sets and outfits and everything was so good anyway, i loved that big huge chunky necklace as a touch, its some fashion brand symbol i dont remember sowwy but i like how huge it is LOL also the music was pretty great, i liked the needle drops and the music composed for the movie was fun too, what was i made for is fantastic but i knew that already its been a hit for a while now and i heard a vocal synth cover of it that sounded nice so i was already on board HJKDHJKFDS sometimes the. racial aspect of the movie was. jarring? they really only mention race like thrice (one of those times being the aforementioned awful smallpox joke) which. you know sometimes i get a little annoyed with a lot of contemporary movies and shows bringing up race just for little quips and jokes here and there while completely ignoring anything substantial about the topic, i know this is a tween movie with a two hour run time and they wanted to focus but i dunno man. it always feels like they're making a joke about elephants while the ignoring the elephant in the room staring u down. but whatever. i'll just lock someone into an unskippable cutscene conversation about history in regards to race and dolls irl later LOL cute movie tho. i like when movies have cool sets and outfits

NOW to the second half of that very odd double feature i gave myself last night UFO ABDUCTION its basically considered the first found footage horror movie, as a tv movie from 1989, and lemme tell u IT IS hard to watch LOL not because its like scary but like. because its a little bit bad <3 but its okay i dont mind, the main character behind the camera got pretty insufferable near the end (would not shut up and made it hard to hear the other actors orz) but it was only an hour and had like no budget - plus i love seeing where so much of the genre came from. im glad to know people screaming at the main character to shut that damn camera off has been here since the very beginning. i also loved the stupid alien costumes its such a shame theyre only in there for like 3 scenes they were the best part: genuinely kind of creepy at the first sight at the ufo landing because theyre so far away and low quality, and also really silly and goofy when they walk right up to the camera <3 <3 <3

i truly madly deeply genuinely without a shred of irony adore found footage so im always happy to see more! even when its bad :) i like it when cameras shake and people scream OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT

[watery-melon-baller]

6, 21, 40

ty for thr ask :D

6. What do you use to keep your place when you’re reading a book?

i try to use bookmarks (has to be a specific kind of bookmark tho like. flat, a certain lentth and width and of course you gotta use big bookmakrs for Big Books cant use them for smal bookmarks) but if i dont have one then i will use whatevers around. napkin. receipt. i think my current bookmark is like one of those paint sample cards bc that was alll i had.

21. What’s your favorite period in art history, your favorite famous work and/or your favorite style of art? If you don’t know any that’s ok!

ouggh. im not a super big history person BUT have taken multiple art history courses so i know some things. mesoamerican art like in general is always absolutely gorgeod and i love the style but i also really love death masks, especially seeing how many cultures used them but they all look so different

40. What’s your favorite kind of tree?

REDWOODS MY BELOVEDS GOD. i used to live in cali for a Time so i am sentimental. they can get so big and theyre gorgeous things and every time i see them in person im always in awe. it makes me SO upset to think about how like. most of the redwoods that we think are massive are actually prety younge in tree years i think theyre only like 100? 200? i cant fact check anything rn so forgive me if im wrong but they can grow to be like a thousand years old and like. those ones must have been HUGE like. i want to see the extra exra large trees....

we had an assumble in elemntary school where they gave all the kids redwood saplings and i loved mine so much and had it for YEARS but we went on vacation and my dad forgot to water it and it DIED and i was so so upset :(

[lavender-honey-arts]

Late Intro

Hello!  My name’s is Abee! Capricorn,INFP and horror enthusiast

She/Her. i forgot about that.

Previously i went by “Queen of Spades” or “SpadeQueen” on some of my social media but like a year or two ago i decided to redisign everything related to my internet personality. I am from Costa Rica and speak english/spanish so bee free to interact with me in either language. tho i suck at both, mind you.

I’m 23 years old and while i wanna say mdi  ,i have little siblings and i know minors just interact sometimes. I hope my blog is respecful and moderate for all. I will not post anything too nsfw-y for that same reason. 

Never went to an art school, which is evident in my style. I taugth myself everything i know(ty youtube and pinterest tutorials) so just be kind! i’m not a pro but i really love doodling and what not. I’m currently trying to get a Degree on History(it is not going very well)

A reknown procastinator(as a matter of fact im doing it rn, writing this) but i got a lot of projects in the making like Ciph3r, Perfect Husband and Smiley Valley.

If you see this little bug anywhere, i’m there. She’s my sona LadySpade.

Overall i just want to create funky stuff and have fun, tho sometimes my brain goes wacky and like “nobody cares” and stuff like that y’know? But i also believe sometimes you gotta do stuff not cause somebody will see it but cause you like it!

[saltymongoose]

Hi, are your requests still open?? Or I'll even pay you to write something too.

If they are, can I request fic with Deimos, Hank, 2B, and Sanford protecting and comforting a FTM(not transitioned yet) reader that is their partner. They protect him from an abusive family member? If that's not okay then maybe just comforting them on a really really bad dysphoria day?

I'm dealing with major family issues rn on top of my HEDS/POTS flair ups and I'm just breaking down and need some comfort from my boys that would def hug me and kiss me and tell me im okay and tell my family members to "Fuck off cuz I am a real man." I'm trying to draw some art too... but I have major art block art.. but your writing Is amazing and inspirational. I always look forward to everything you do. You are my hero and I wish I could write like you. Thank you for everything you do and please take care of yourself! Drink and eat pls!!❤️❤️❤️

Also this is the first time I'm asking something and I'm to nervous to come of anon so I guess you could call me...Kai? Thanks and sorry if this is too much yiu can ignore it

I'm sorry to hear about everything you've been going through Kai, it's beyond awful to have family members who're so unsupportive and damaging. :( I'd be more than happy to provide some comfort and protection from the boys for you, and as always, free of charge. <3 (Thank you so so much for your kind words as well, they're awfully sweet of you to say and reading them made me pretty emotional haha. I'm glad you like my work so much, it's readers like yourself that make writing so fulfilling for me, so thank you for that as well. And please take care of yourself too, of course. :)) 💕

[Part 1] They Protect a Transmasc!Reader from their Abusive Family ft. Hank & Sanford

(TW: Transphobia, Verbal Abuse, Violence (they're not yandere but still, it's Madcom), ft. Transmasc!Reader) //- {PART 2 HERE <3} -//

- [HANK J. WIMBLETON] -

Anyone who knows of your significance to Hank would realize that it’s not exactly a good idea to try anything against you, whether it be trying to make you uncomfortable or attacking you physically.

Your partner is the most wanted man in Nevada, and he has absolutely no patience when it comes to anyone or anything threatening you, period. It doesn’t matter if it’s some random grunt on the street, or some agent Doc insists he works with, or even if they’re an Employer. If they hurt you in any way, shape, or form, he’s paying them back for it tenfold.

It’s only right since you’re likely a target simply for your relationship with him and he considers it his “job” to protect the people he loves. And by that, just you, really. He can’t even remember the names of the other SQ members he works with 90% of the time, so you’re it for him. Although this just means all of his protective instincts are centered on a single person, which if anything would be more of a deterrent. (For mildly intelligent people, at least.)

However, while he never expected your family of all groups to be added to his “blacklist”, he isn’t averse to going after them the same way he does all your other persecutors. Hank genuinely couldn’t care less about their blood relation with you or any history you have with them; he solves nearly all his problems with violence anyway, so another set of bodies means very little to him in the long run. (Bear in mind, he won’t outright kill them in front of you, you don’t need to see that.)

Though because you’d generally prefer not to have to deal with organizing a funeral or explaining why your significant other gunned down your family (to your other family members who you'd prefer not to speak to), you made him swear not to kill them. A shame since they more than deserved it to him, but you're one of the few people Hank actually listens to, so he'll go along with it.

However, you never told him that he couldn't be violent with his protectiveness, even if they didn't end up dead.

So when he happens to be accompanying you to your family’s place to fetch some of your things and someone decides to make a little unwelcome comment about you (something about how you’re “never gonna be a real man”, whatever that means), he bristles when he hears the words. The look of discomfort and sadness on your face immediately drives him to physically threaten them; he's quick to invade the offending family member's space, anger coursing through his veins as a hand reaches for one of his knives.

It doesn’t take long for whoever made the comment to be thrown to their knees, a blade at their throat before you’re able to stop him. He's always been impulsive, and what they've just done to you would be enough to warrant murder if it were from anyone else. (They should consider themselves lucky you were more merciful than he was.)

He can only think of the look of your frowning visage as he grabs their jaw harshly, almost driving the knife into them as they jolt in his grasp. He usually doesn't care about insults, but if they're against you and targeting something so intrinsic to who you are, it's enough to piss him off immensely on your behalf, to say the least.

"Newsflash, asshole. Nobody asked for your dogshit opinion," he hisses, jostling your terrified family member before forcefully turning them to look in your direction. "See him? He's a real man. If you're too stupid to understand that, that's on you. But if you say anything like that to my boyfriend again, I'll fucking kill you, understand, dipshit?"

You know it's more of a bluff than a genuine promise, given the fact that you've been over this with him before. (Or at least you think so.) You ignore your family member's pleading for Hank to let them go, as well as the other people in the house who've come to watch, still feeling hurt at their comment. Having your partner there made it better, but it still didn't lessen the sting of the words themselves.

Hank notices this of course and will drop the offending individual to the floor (paying no mind to how their skull painfully hits the concrete below them, whoops) so he can pick you up protectively and remove you from the situation entirely. You let him, of course, silently eyeing your family from over his bicep as you snuggle into his arms, relaxing a little for once that evening.

The complete juxtaposition in Hank's behavior the moment you two exit through the front door is honestly amusing to you in retrospect, but in your sickened feelings at what just happened you don't notice it. He holds you tighter to himself as he walks, leaning down to press his forehead to yours and nuzzle into your temple. You told him once that his purring was comforting for you, so he'll do it here, and loudly too. He's relieved when he feels you sink into his grasp more at all his affection, but he can tell what just happened is still weighing on you.

Despite excelling at dealing with matters physically, Hank is very inept at anything concerning emotions (and to his credit, he knows it very well). He'll still try though since you need the encouragement and he hates seeing that despondent look on you. (He also just loves you and wants you to be alright, but that's hardly anything new.)

"You okay?" He rasps lowly, almost whispering to you, and you give a strained half smile in response. He tilts his head in concern and you sigh, reaching up to cup his cheek and watching as he leans into your hand absentmindedly.

"Not really, no, that was…a lot. I will be though, eventually…Thanks for that, by the way," you say, voice small as you rest your head on his chest. It’s funny, you were only there for forty-five minutes and you’re exhausted. This only makes you doubly grateful for your partner being willing to carry you and comfort you physically, even when you don’t feel like talking.

You could feel him nod resolutely against your hand, the only reply you’ll get from him on this matter. His silence is fine with you; you were so close that you didn’t need words to understand his view anyway. Especially not with how he makes sure to hold you as close to him as possible on the way back, wrapping you up tightly in his arms as if to protect you from the rest of the world as he takes you back home, where you’ll be safe from everything else.

Hank’s type of care is a strange one. Filled with gentle touches and harsh protectiveness, Nevada’s most infamous mass murderer is nothing if not soft around you. You were a point of vulnerability for him, but one that he welcomed with open arms. He’d rather die than let something happen to you (and he’d be very willing to if it came down t it). Even if the threat isn’t incredibly violent, his main priority is your well-being, whether that be your physical or mental health. Perhaps this is why you feel comfortable enough to fall asleep in his arms, content that he’d keep you safe as you went home. He wouldn’t let anything happen to you and you knew it. After all, he loves you beyond belief, just as you do him.

- [SANFORD] -

As one of the few people in Nevada who actually has a semi-intact family in his life, Sanford knows the true value of having close relationships with your parents and/or siblings. However, he realizes that your family is also the people who can cause you the most suffering. They know every little button to press to get a reaction, and it's only elevated to a more painful level if they don’t accept you for who you truly are.

In all likelihood, you’ve confided to him before about your familial situation, and what he heard both depressed and angered him. How anyone could be so awful to you is just beyond him; you’re one of the nicest people he’s had the pleasure of coming across and he wouldn’t trade you for everything, why would your family do you so much harm purposefully?

The feeling of disgust only festers with each time you tell him about another one of your family's abusive actions towards you, and he honestly considers just suggesting you cut them off. They don't deserve to have someone like you around them, just as you don't deserve to be mistreated for something as simple as your gender identity. You don't need to justify who you are to them, and the fact that they badger you about it and degrade you is enough to make his blood boil.

You probably don't see your family that often anyway, cause once you two got together he was fully willing to just get a place with you away from anywhere having to do with them. The further the better. (The last thing he wanted to happen was for them to encounter you when you went out for groceries or ran errands. More distance meant more safety from them, after all.)

It's not that he wants to isolate you or anything like that, and really you're free to do what you want, he just doesn't want to run the risk of them hurting you more than they have already. As such, he’s hesitant to even drive you to visit them, to be completely honest. You don’t deserve to be put in a potentially abusive situation, but if you have to be around your family for whatever reason, he insists on accompanying you.

He holds your hand the entire way there, throwing you soft looks to gauge your mood and running a thumb over your knuckles when he sees your nervous posturing. He hopes that his reassurance will help in some way, even if he's also dreading encountering your family.

He's tense at your side the moment you both walk through the door to your family's home, putting himself between you and any family members as he oversees your interactions. Most would feel threatened by his posturing; it’d be quite obvious that he’s acting as sort of a sentinel for you, and having someone like him as a protector should be a deterrent to any awful behavior. Lest they end up suffering some harsh consequences for their actions.

But of course, this doesn’t stop some people. Perhaps they just walked in and saw you, thinking you were on your own and taking it as an opportunity to slew some abuse at you, completely oblivious to the fact that your partner was just across the room. Or maybe they were just ignorant enough to believe your partner wouldn’t protect you from them.

However, they’ll notice and realize the reality of the situation soon enough. It’s impossible not to when they open their mouth to make a disparaging comment about you and are met with a painfully tight grip on their shoulder and the broad form of your boyfriend looming over them.

You'll notice that their abusive remark is cut off by a sharp squeak, and turn to see them looking almost sickly with fear at your boyfriend. The same whose glare seems to darken when they have the nerve to send a pleading glance towards you to make him stop, as if they're not the one who tried to verbally attack you in the first place.

No matter, he'll helpfully twist them around so he's all they see instead. (Quickly too, since he hated the way you seemed to freeze when they tried to make eye contact with you.) The perpetrator is terrified to their core since they know very well about who he is, but the short apologies they try to stammer out don't quell any of Sanford's anger at them. It's not him they should be apologizing to.

He'd even consider forcing them to right that moment if he couldn't read you as well as he does. He knows from your shaky motions and quick glances back at him that having any prolonged contact with them would probably just risk upsetting you more, and besides, what kind of a partner would he be if he brought his boyfriend's abuser closer to him?

Despite this, he won't let go of them. He's almost like a guard dog that's latched onto someone, unwilling to let them move a mere inch away as you go about your business. While you're distracted, he'll even lean down to get uncomfortably close to your family member to give them a bit of a warning, silently delighting in how they jump at his sudden movements.

"You aren't gonna say another fucking word to him, understand?" He hisses, "None of this shit about you not understanding that he's a man - cause that's what he is, dumbass. You can fuck off if you think I'll just let you insult him like that, or I'll make you wish you knew better."

They nod frantically, and he gives them a sardonic, if not outright threatening grin. Just in time too, as you turn back to them with some personal belongings gathered in your arms. You don't look at your family member when you approach, but Sanford's quick to disregard them as well once you're a meter or two from them. (He doesn't want you to have to be too close to them, anyway).

He gives their shoulder one last squeeze, threatening to pierce their skin with his claws before he lets go and returns to your side. You find it slightly amusing that he insists on wiping his hand off on his pants before he holds yours again, and as you exit the building he makes a joke about not wanting any "filth" to touch you. It makes you smile a bit, which relieves him.

He has a thoughtful look on his face as he helps you into his truck, one he always seems to get whenever the topic of your family comes up. You give him a few questioning glances, silently prodding at what's eating away at him as he seems to mull over something for a moment. He then turns to you, giving you a warm smile.

“I’m really proud of you, you know? I don't know how I'd be if my family pulled something like that with me," he remarks, giving you a playful glare when you shrug and avert your eyes, already beginning to formulate some sort of retort to his praise.

"I mean, I didn't do very much-"

"Not this time, I guess, at least not physically. But you've dealt with their shit for years, so I'd say you're stronger than you think you are." He states simply, a tone of finality in his words. Under no circumstance would he let you downplay or disregard your own feelings and role in this; so what if you didn't want to get in their face as he would? Physical confrontations aren't everything, especially when he's half sure those pigheaded people in your family wouldn't change with or without them. The point was that you're perfect just as you are, and you don't need some dumbasses who don't know anything to make you doubt that.

You understand as much when he leans over to give you a quick kiss on your temple, whispering so before leaving another peck on your cheek and pulling back. For that simple moment, your anxiety is quelled. Funny, how something as common as Sanford giving you affection could calm you down so much. The love he has for you is pure and nearly overwhelming sometimes; it fills you with a warmth so comforting, and a feeling of gentle reassurance you don't know how you went without before. And you knew it was the same for him.

For now, though, Sanford thinks he's got a bit of a solution to this issue (if you could call it one). He's been thinking about it for a while, but now that he's seen firsthand the quality (or lack thereof) of people in your family, he doesn't think it's going too fast. At least, he hopes you won't think so either.

Your attention is caught again when he mutters your name, and you look over to see him staring down at the dashboard, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel as he nervously clears his throat. It's weird to see him so nervous, but it's cute; it reminds you of when you first started dating and he was so anxious about being with someone seriously, least of all someone he admired so much.

"I know this might be too fast, but..you could, well, "join" my family, if you want. My mom's been asking about you, and they just really want to meet you, to be honest. Probably because of how I don't shut up about you," he laughs a little awkwardly, and you smile at how bashful he looks, brow quirking at the question. "They're not...like yours, and I know they won't screw with you like that. So..would you want to?" He looks hopeful as he eyes you, and you can see the slightest bit of apprehension in the way he shifts his hands against the wheel as he waits for your answer.

You hum in thought, genuinely considering the offer. Sanford's without a doubt the nicest guy you've ever met, and you don't think his family would be spoken about so highly by him if they weren't the same. Besides, there's no harm in meeting your boyfriend's family. However, there's a little something about the way he worded it that made you curious.

"Yeah, I'm down for that. All this talk about me joining your family is pre-tty interesting though, babe," you begin, a teasing lilt to your voice as you lean over the console to perch your chin on his shoulder. "You thinking about proposing?"

He sputters, face going red as you chuckle at him. He's quick to make a recovery though, nudging his elbow at you as he shakes his head to himself (he can't hide his own grin, despite this). You feel relaxed as you lean back into your seat, grateful for the distraction in light of everything else that happened that day.

Although, you don't make it entirely back to your seat before Sanford reaches out for your hand again. His larger hand returns to hold yours just as it was on the way to your family's place, and you can see a slight blush tinge his cheeks when you turn yours over to interlace your fingers. He only has a single real response to your teasing, but it's enough to make you double-take.

"That depends, would you say yes?"

[spaceagebachelorstan]

i am very bored rn, so

ride the cyclone youtube au

they all have semi-popular yt channels in this au. i dont know what counts as popular so take that as anywhere from 1-20k each. whatever you see it as will work

mischa

had to start with the king of kaching himself. Obviously he posts frequently to badegg, most of his time on his yt chamnels goes to his music, but he'd start badegg_games as a little side thing and react to horror games he really likes, which gets peoples attention. he puts links to the original badegg in his descriptions which leads to more people finding his music. how much more? you decide. he also collabs pretty frequently with ricky, and brings other choir members on sometimes. his backgroud is just his room, maybe with some extra lighting. he edits his own videos and they are exactly how you'd expect them to be.

ricky

he absolutely has a gaming channel. he might stream as well. he's played every single fnaf fangame, including all the dating sims. hes also played onlycans. that one got age-restricted. any niche game he finds he makes a video on it. he uses text to speech in his videos, most of the time in post production so he doesn't have to type as he plays, and adds big subtitles. he also has a complete timeline of zolarian history. mischa and him collab pretty frequently, often playing multiplayer horror games together. he spends a lot of time on his video borders, and his channel logo is very fun and colourful. his cats show up very frequently in his videos, and when its something he doesn't think will jumpscare him, they're often sat on his lap as he plays. rpgs and sci-fi are some of the main types of games he plays, but theres a big variety. his channel name is linked to cats, zolar, or both.

ocean

she is freesciencelessons, but for every single subject. she is the only reason anyone is passing anything. she started it as either some extra credit project or as a way to revise, but people started following her and she actually quite liked making the videos, so she kept going. she doesn't bring other people onto her channel very often. her videos range from ten minutes to half an hour, depending on the subject, and shes very thorough. if its on any type of standardized test, ocean has made a video on it. she makes props for her videos and asks penny or ricky to animate things for her sometimes. her channel name is something simple like rosenbergrevision or something.

constance

did anyone watch quake n bakes? because that is what she'd do. shed post themed tutorials on how to bake different things. if it was a choir member's birthday, shed make them a themed treat and give it to them in the recording (if they were ok w it). her most popular tutorial/recipe were these 3D minecraft mob marshmallows she made for ricky, but her personal favourite are these little rose-shaped meringue cookies. sometimes she posts sewing videos as well, or little arts and crafts videos. she also promotes the cafe or makes cafe vlogs, but not often. her set up is pretty aesthetic and neat, but nothing extremely fancy. her intro is. short but sweet and she. has a little logo. her channel name is smthn like blackwoodbakes or connie'skitchen.

noel

he started making videos about poetry and film history and french cinema just to talk about them really. it was a passion project, he wasn't really too bothered about how many people saw it. he put work into it because he liked it, and he's haply with the followers he has. his videos are really long, and he goes super in depth. and then, he loses a bet to someone in the choir, and makes one of those "i watched _____ so you didn't have to" videos about some rlly bad movie that everybody takes the piss out of (think after or something). im picturing him with like a wine glass in hand making quips about whatever scene is on. it gets so many more views than his other videos. he's absolutely livid. but he makes more bcs people genuinely seemed to like the video. his dramatics and insults were quite interesting to watch, and soon its a pretty regular thing (if regular means once every four months). he still mostly makes his videos on things he likes, though. also, he managed to rope ocean into watching some horrible basic film with him and people like their dynamic, oddly enough. on halloween he reacts to horror movies with mischa. his channel name is something serious and probably ties into france somehow.

penny

shes a faceless youtuber and she has a pretty wide variety of videos. she used to be a stan acct for johnny moon before legoland, and she had to post a video on why what she did was wrong as community service. that one got a lot of views. she has a lot of art tips and speedpaints, as well as a lot of vlogs and a draw my life. she has a lot of videos about different types of music as well. her username has something to do with jane doe, she thought abt it because shes faceless and doesnt show her identity online and thought it was a fun idea. her set up is pretty basic, but its nice, and ezra's voice features in a lot of videos. the other choir members don't normally appear on her channel, but she, ricky and constance did an art challenge once.

[aiviloti]

my 2020 fic writer wrap-up!!

this is going to be incredibly long (a total of 1.1k lmao) so imma put a cut here, but basically thank you for being here all throughout my 2020! i appreciate you all very much <3

fav kind of fic to write:

i love writing about mutual pining slow burn process of getting together but i have NEVER WRITTEN ONE IN MY LIFE so i hope to change that in 2021

in 2020 i discovered??? humour??? so i enjoy writing about that and when people tell me i’ve succeeded in making them laugh it’s all 😳😳😳 for me

hardest fic to write but also most proud of:

to write you a song was a fic i struggled with from all of april to june which is very long?? to me??? considering i usually sit down and write things in one seating. fully fleshed ideas don’t usually take me thaaaaaat long to crunch out, but for some reason i struggled bad with this bc I really didn’t know where i was going w it lol

LA LA LAND gets an honorary mention of it’s own simply because it was 44k, and it took me all of july-september, but it’s something i still am proud of! to show how difficult it was to write/plot here’s the spreadsheet i had to use to keep track of the scenes and the chapters djkgfsjdfkjhgd

Shout out to kiroiimye , sweet , sirius and krypt for keeping my sanity intact

easiest fic to write:

this genshin impact fic: The Land Favoured by the Wind but its because ive been thinking about this idea for more than a month lol so the actual writing and editing took me less than 3 hours

there were several others too, bc ideas then to hook themselves to me then refuse to let go fjshlfgdfsg

fav fic to write:

Most definitely this sakuatsu monstrosity here by the name of Miya Atsumu's unwavering love for Sakusa Kiyoomi and an unholy amount of terrible food analogies that should not have the right to Exist lol, I only came up with the idea of Atsumu asking Osamu how to make friends bc I was friendship pining for someone at the time and then proceeded to write the entirety of it in a feverish daze! It’s as of rn my top hit / kudoed / bookmarked fic on ao3 and man, thanks for liking this as much as i did :’D

writing sequence:

i have to write from start to finish lmao i cant move on if the fic isnt chronological? the only exception was la la land bc it was too long and i had help from the spreadsheet so i alr knew where i was going i just had to write it down dfhdsfksfksdfhjg

deleting works:

the only fics i remember deleting are both first chapters of a multichap, bc i dont like having unfinished pieces on ao3, and far less if im not sure if ill finish them/if i dont know where im going w it!

if it’s dark history of shit 15 year old me wrote imma keep it there! it is an archive after all. go on, judge my fics from 5 years ago ahahahaha

best writing advice:

not a general thing and might just apply tome, but i tend to write in very convoluted ways and squish a lot in my sentences, or add to many unnecessary commas, so i received advice recently about being more mindful of the pacing and it’s helped me a lot!

worst writing advice:

none at the top of my head djgfkdsjfh if it’s bs to me i just forget it entirelyyyy

collab:

@actuallyasweetpotato​ (also aforementioned sweet) and i did a thing for bokuaka week!!!! you can find it here:  under my breath and into your scarf

wips:

9 unfinished zine pieces, 3 commissions, 1 exchange piece, about 10 or so other things

fav story of another writer:

favourite things 

manly man falls for manliest man krbk fic!!!

gently, like a winter wind iwaoi birthday fic

sunchaser krbk fic

JUNO atsuhina fic

best review:

dude i cried

and shoutout to tien , sirius for fan art, fan comics, fan animatics of fics ive written, and shoutout to akemiiiii for this song they wrote i am eternaally grateful

worst review:

no negativity today!

prequel/sequel to other people’s fics:

none at the top of my head hm, but if anything probably any of kiro skk stuff 

do i reread my stuff:

yes, but only if they’re old enough for me to go “it’s okay even if i dont like it bc this is old”

published:

hopefully! even though i do take part in zines and i guess they already have been published in a broad sense

fav/least fav chara to write:

no one at the top of my head! it’s instinctive for me to go ahead and think about character motives whenever i come across them, so if i ever write about someone, i usually just put my spin/interpretation of a character in a way that i can comprehend. the pros of this is i can write about many people, and the downside is that these characterisations can come off as out of character to anyone who doesn’t agree w me hehe

deadlines or goals:

if it’s a oneshot that’s under 3k i usually aim to have it done within 24 hours of beginning the fic. even tho i rarely succeed, having that as a goal usually pushes me to get it done faster than i would have if i had no goal altogether! if it’s anything long i aim for 1k a day, tho rn all my deadlines are zine deadlines and on top of that there’s uni, so to say im not stressing about writing would be a lie LOL

fav writers: (am too shy to tag but i swear these people are literal gods)

chonideno (mag): tumblr | twitter | ao3

batman (teesta): twitter | ao3

maplefudge (raei): tumblr | twitter | ao3

trope never written, would like to try:

aforementioned SLOWBURN MUTUAL PINING ANGST W A HAPPY ENDING GETTING TOGETHER!!!

but also royalty au

trope you will never write:

haha loads

how long have you been a writer:

began writing around may of 2014!! it was a horrible piece but im glad i started somewhere

influences:

chonideno/mag is one! maggie stiefvater who wrote the raven boys is also one, among many others

hardest part of writing: 

writing action? writing things that are happening right now, describing people talking, eating

easiest part of writing:

descriptions of people, places, feelings. internal monologues, the like

best part of writing:

sharing how i perceive the world w other people, and discovering other people agree

wip sneak peek:

cw: hanahaki, falling out of love

this was written in a friend’s dms lmao this is why i sound like this

something unique i bring to all my stories

i had a revelation the other day after talking to all my friends and realised i have really pretentious titles

IF YOU’RE HERE

did you know the wc of this thing is 1k words? idk why you stuck through all of that but thank you. i’ll keep writing in 2021, and all the years after that, and i hope i’ll find you doing things you love too :)

[mousehole5000]

more tgcf chapters 143-173 lets goooooo

PEI MING BOO HISS except actually okay he’s mostly funny i think but still boo hiss

“hey who’s this guy who’s really pissed at you?” “oh thats my sword. i broke it.” alright then!

i think i need to go back and reread the banyue pass arc bc im still confused as to whats going on with banyue and pei su

“Banyue dropped from the sky with two pots raised. Without a word, she plummeted with the mouths of the pots facing down, trapping and detaining the shocked Ming’guang and the roaring Ke Mo within.” - THATS MY GIRL

“It must be known that, to heavenly officials, it certainly was more than natural for kingdoms of the mortal realm to fight and annihilate one another; the acts of these plays progressing on endlessly. But when it came their own turn, it was often hard to let things go. If one must stand in the same court as the one who annihilated their own kingdom, and that man cavorted in the heavens, exceedingly flashy, then it must be vexing.” - hmmmm!!

“I’ve spoken too many words in this lifetime. What are you referring to?” - okay to be fair thats a mood

okay its nice to get some pei ming backstory and its funny that he and xie lian are bonding but also still whenever pei ming interacts with a female character my hackles rise like a cat lol

“Xie Lian watched as Banyue thought really hard before cheerfully pulling out a few long, wine-red scorpion-snakes, and putting them into the bubbling pot.” - THATS MY GIRL

“Although “smell” was something colourless and formless, the instant Banyue removed the pot cover, it was as if some mysterious physical object had twisted all the air around the mouth of that pot. The group stared at the sight within the pot for a long time. Their pupils reflected an endless, bottomless darkness; like it could pull them into the abyss. No words could describe the sentiment expressed within their eyes. A moment later, Xie Lian patted Banyue’s shoulder and gave a thumbs-up.” - like father-figure like daughter-figure. amazing.

“However, what if one day mortals discovered something completely new that ran faster than horses? Then, when this new invention overtook horses, worshippers of this heavenly official who controlled horses would inevitably decrease. Such heavenly officials, flashing by like shooting stars, made up the majority of the heavens.” - obsessed with this, genuinely. life and change. worship and its purpose. my religious studies diploma on my wall is screaming at me rn. ALSO i am once again thinking about celebrities

“...” It was only then that Pei Ming seemed to notice, and started to contemplate this question. A moment later, he answered, “A habit. In a dark, creepy place like this, isn’t it normal to hold women in your arms, to comfort them and calm their fears?” “I’m sorry, but I wasn’t scared,” Banyue said.” - BANYUE I LOVE YOU. I MISSED YOU SO MUCH. god this takes me back to every college party i ever went to

LING WEN BACKSTORY????? shoeseller chosen for godhood bc she wrote a political essay and got arrested...... and now she’s face to face with the official who appointed her..... do go on.....

“Ling Wen laughed out loud, seeming to be enraged, and her voice dropped. “Very well! You said I couldn’t reach that high. Then, might I ask you: had the prominence of the Palace of Jing Wen at its peak ever reached even the knees of my Palace of Ling Wen??” - GET HIM!!!! BOO HISS JING WEN

“Compared to you, I’m not that bad,” Ling Wen said. “You’d personally order me to stay in the Palace of Jing Wen until midnight, then turn around and say I shamelessly hang around ‘til late to harass you. Words murder without form; I was much nicer responding with blatant violence.” - ling wen im love you..... also this bit... feels Real

BLOOD RAIN BLOOD RAIN BLOOD RAIN!! FLOWER PETALS TRANSFORMATION!!! see hua cheng? look as how cool it can be when you leave the story for a little while!! bc then you get to return and make an entrance!!

“Not only can you bring forth bloody rain, you can also make flowers shower. I didn’t know that. How fun!” - cute!! and in that moment we were all xie lian

“Everyone was stunned by his deed, and Ling Wen arduously gave him a thumbs-up. ”Ol’ Pei, what a man!” Pei Ming gritted his teeth. “WELCOME!” - aww three two tumors buddies!!

okay yin yu is here and xie lian did the equivalent of asking someone when the baby is due only to find out theyre not pregnant at all. then rong guang taunts yin yu and no one says anything. i do love the amount of awkward moments in this book tbh sometimes there are no words.

“All around was sand and mud crushing at him, exceedingly suffocating. The sand and mud was also moving endlessly; the feeling was like he was swallowed into the stomach of a giant monster, and that monster had also eaten a bunch of other things besides him, tumbling everything in its stomach, trying to digest” - ooooh creepy!!! the red string thing... is cute.... also xie lian being able to see hua cheng’s butterfly vision by looking directly into his eye is kinda cool. and obviously homoerotic.

“Are lower-ranked heavenly officials below other people?” Quan Yizhen asked. “No,” Yin Yu replied. Were they not? It was obvious that he himself didn’t believe in his own words, and Quan Yizhen also noticed. A good while later, he said bluntly, “I don’t like it here.” Yin Yu said nothing.” - im having emotions. and then yin yu also saying he doesnt like it there either.... also idk how this scene is going to play out but as much as im enjoying quan yizhen being an icon i can also possibly see how yin yu could eventually get to the point of “i am tired of being nice. i do just want to go apeshit” even if he really cares about qyz. it happens </3

“Indeed,” Hua Cheng said. “Half a year later when Quan Yizhen actually ascends, he won’t find it so funny anymore.” “Can we watch that part too?” Xie Lian asked. “We can. Hold on,” Hua Cheng replied.” - quan yizhen king of taking things literally. also why did this turn into hualian having a movie night

jian yu seems like the kind of asshole who would purposely give someone regular soda when they specifically asked for diet soda. god yin yu is really having a bad day i really feel for him in the whole situation with the brocade immortal

awww okay at least jian yu tried to take responsibility. im still mad at him tho that was objectively a terrible idea. god this whole situation sucked :(

“Rocks and earth crushed at them from all around, forcing their bodies to press tightly against one another, their faces brushing, their ears warm. Although it wasn’t the right time, a thought flashed through Xie Lian’s mind: “‘To die buried together’ doesn’t feel so bad.” - okay... im kind of emotional.... gay people....

okay obviously these murals and the prince of wuyong have some connection (im guessing pretty direct) to xie lian and are important but everytime they start analyzing one i feel like im back in art history class fhadskfhskjdhf not that thats a bad thing!! i liked art history a lot tbh

“Don’t worry, they’re not human,” Hua Cheng said. “It’s precisely because they’re not human that we have to worry, alright….” Xie Lian thought.” - goth ghost bf problems

xie lian: well, there is one person i trust more than anyone else, someone who’s first in my mind hua cheng, oblivious: oh :/ xie lian, also oblivious: what? hua cheng: you shouldnt trust so easily its dangerous xie lian: oh. haha. yeah. well. wanna,,, know who it is? hua cheng: its :) fine :) it :) doesnt :) matter :) but of course you can tell me if you want to gege xie lian, internally: well now ive made it weird hua cheng, 5 minutes later: actually i need you to tell me. right now. its totally for your security me: gay people smh

“As they suspected, he had been captured by Qi Rong. Although no one was bound by ropes, there were balls of greasily green ghost fires hovering over every one of their heads.” - completely off track but anybody else remember the great green globs of greasy grimy gopher guts song

“Could there actually come a day when Qi Rong was embarrassed that someone might see the manner in which he ate? Before Xuan Ji entered, she put Guzi down. Guzi, ta-ta-ta, ran in, rushing straight to Qi Rong’s side. But when he saw him, he pointed his finger. He cried, “Dad is eating bad things in secret again!” “I’m not!” Qi Rong retaliated.” SCREAM IS QI RONG LEARNING THE POWER OF LOVE NOOOO also god that poor man whose body he has im starting to doubt if he’ll ever be free jimmy novak flashbacks

everytime we get another ghost king power somewhere someone should be writing hua cheng the cyborg bf in a high tech futuristic au i think thats the only other potential setting that could truly capture this wild ride

“In truth, throughout history, there was no man in the world who didn’t love bragging. A breeze could blow the handkerchief of a brothel girl into a man’s hand, and he would turn around and say the most beautiful of renowned escorts had fallen in love with him; holding shoes and wiping benches for the emperor’s mistress’s uncle’s grandson’s cousin’s mistress would for sure become him being an important administrator at the residence of royal relatives, raising his status. Thus, men who didn’t brag were a rare species.” - SCREAM this is going in my favorite tgcf quotes folder god... mxtx come here let me shake your hand

read the story of rain master yushi huang’s ascension. why am i crying. also this bit im crying again me with my stuffed animals “Thus, while Yushi Huang was cultivating at the Temple of Yulong, every time when she went to seek water and passed that door, she would rub the head of that ox. The door knocker soaked in her essence of life, and when the Rain Master ascended, the ox ascended with her.”

okay thats enough for now i have 7 more chapters to book 4!!! woo!!!

[finleytm]

「 shawn mendes. cismale. he/him. 」i hope that #lexsquad member「 FINLEY MORALES 」adds me to the squad ! the 「 TWENTY-THREE 」year old 「 PHYSIOLOGY 」 major has been apart of the squad since 「 FEBRUARY 2020 」and seems to be the 「 OPTIMIST 」of the group.「 FIN 」is a「 JUNIOR 」 and seems to enjoy 「 READING IN THE LIBRARY 」but you can always find them at a squad party , too !

good evening ! i don’t have a single ounce of self control so here’s my second baby , finley , a soft lil artist + nerd who just wants everyone to be happy , but understands that that’s unrealistic so he hopes everyone is doing okay , at the very least. 

STATISTICS.

full name : finley angel morales

major : physiology 

orientation : panseuxal

hometown : rochester , ny. 

height : 6′3

build : muscular , built. 

BACKGROUND.

finley was born in portugal , but they moved when he was three so he only remembers living in new york ! his dad is from portugal and his moms from ny. 

his parents met & fell in love when his mom was visiting portugal and they ended up moving back to new york after lil fin was born !

his parents were always that picture perfect kinda love that fin looked up to 

and then when fin when in high school his dad kinda went off the wall , cheating and all this nonsense and oop , finley has a little half sister named flora. she’s 8 now and the cutest lil thing ever. 

his parents separated for a year , but ended up getting back together. fin doesn’t exactly approve , and their marriage hasn’t really been the same since , but he doesn’t say anything about it.

other than that , fin was raised to be kind & respectful & positive. his mom is like this sweet , right light in his life. definitely a mommas boys.

fin is super , super smart ! goal wise , he’s in school to get his undergrad in physiology , and then he plans on going to med school to be a pediatric doctor bc he loves kids :( and has a knack for learning about the body & medical stuff. smart lil brain. 

he also minors in art history literally for fun !!! no reason behind it. he just loves art and the history of art. he just didn’t see what being an art major would get him. 

speaking of art , he’s very talented in art + loves to paint and draw. he has an instagram just for his art and he does commissions. 

going to lex was a total spur of the moment decision + he hates being away from his family. 

PERSONALITY.

soft. so , so soft. not incredibly gullible , but has a gentle nature. 

looks on the bright side of literally everything. failed a test ? there’s always more. got your heartbroken ? time will heal that ! 

a very , very good friend ! will keep ur secrets. will call u when you’re bored. will buy u lunch just to be nice. 

he’ll definitely stand up for himself if he needs to , but he’s more likely to stay quiet because he doesn’t like confrontation.

a lil sensitive. gets bothered easily but just gets quiet & will go away until he feels better. 

has a super cute sense of humor. makes lil jokes and books and doesn’t generally think he’s funny but can tend to put a good joke out there.

generally a pretty ... Good Boy u know

doesn’t really smoke / drink / etc. he goes to parties but he’s only been drunk once in his life.

can be a little oblivious ! will have not a single clue you’re flirting with him. 

blushes easily. easily intimidated. 

a Bi King

HEADCANONS.

speaks english , portugese , spanish , & asl. 

works at smithies when he’s not in class. ! 

wears sweaters even if it’s hot. or overalls. 

has the MOST unruly , ridiculous hair in the world. it’s so cute but its so curly. 

literally loves to read ? always reading. runs into walls bc hes walking and reading. 

goes to the gym every morning at 6 am before classes.

wears contacts + sometimes wears glasses. 

a bit of a perfectionist. organized notes. everything is in order. neat as fuck. 

obsessed w/ disney movies and shakespeare.

a tall , soft , kind boy. :( 

idk anymore im tired this is all u get rn. 

CONNECTIONS.

i’m gonna make a page but for now : 

someone break his heart , please. please , i’ll beg ! 

best friend / dorm mate ! 

a cute lil confidant kinda thing 

a lil saucy fwb bc i feel like he’s only slept w/ like ... two people so i feel like this would be different as fuck for him ( bonus if he gets attached + they just wanna fuck ! ) 

a bad influence for him. god. get him drunk. get him high. something ! 

maybe ..... enemies ? 

that’s all i got rn , but here’s his pinterest ! 

[gothytrash]

rules: tag people you want to get to know better!!!

tagged by: @transseven (kinda im just bored and wanna do it)

your name and what you would’ve named yourself: finn...and i named myself that:))) i considered kalen and max also but finn felt right. might fuck around n change it again tbh

astrological sign (sun/moon/rising if you know them): virgo sun/libra moon/aries rising

when did you join tumblr and why: 2012 maybe?? i was a ~hipster aesthetic blog~ until i became the mess i am today

top 5 fandoms: i dont consider myself really IN any fandoms but,,,mortal kombat, overwatch, polygon, animal crossing, and unus annus are things im really into rn!!

top 5 films: i really dont watch movies much um....jawbreaker, my neighbor totoro, howl's moving castle, spirited away, clueless, pretty much anything ghibli or disgustingly 90's

go-to song when you want to feel something: i have a playlist that is all megan thee stallion for when im extra mentally ill and need to feel like a bad bitch again

what’s your religion or faith if you have one: i don't feel strongly about any really?? i used to relate to wicca when i was younger until i realized a lot of it is stolen closed practices and cultural appropriation and it just didnt feel...right i guess?? im actually a very spiritual person in private though u might not guess it from the everything about me!! im just still not sure if there is a religion i would feel totally comfortable in, although buddhism has always intrigued me!!

a song that makes you feel seen: dog teeth by nicole dollanganger ... teen idle by marina ... vienna by billy joel ...

if you could have any career: i'd love to perform, idk what but i just wanna create for people!!! even as a youtuber, a streamer, or more original performing like in a band or doing drag i just..love to be seen and make people happy:)))

do you have a type: um not really??? hot alt queers to the front of course, and i prefer someone else to be able to take the lead in most things, but that rarely factors into my attraction. if u cute u cute and i will kiss u

what does my heart/soul yearn for: to feel cared for:))) to be a first choice:))) independence:)))

if you had to describe yourself in 5 words to someone: blunt, compassionate, easygoing, impulsive, ditzy

favorite subjects in school: music, english, and forensics

where does your soul feel the most at home: anywhere there is fresh air and some peace and quiet

top 5 fictional characters: mileena, yuri, dva, kuromi, howl

top 3 moments in a show that made you ugly cry: FUCK um. many moments in the promised neverland i cant even pick one so just the show as a whole....the abortion scene in sex education......and also all of your lie in april just so much of it

earth, the sun, the moon or the stars: the stars

favorite kind of weather: that time in either fall or spring when its perfect sweater weather, the sun is shining but the breeze is cool enough that u don't sweat at all, and it stays that way until the sun goes down:') and everything smells so nice....it's different for spring and fall but they both smell lovely

top 3 kins: mileena, yuri, and kuromi

favorite medium of art: to do? graphite or digital bc im bad and must erase a lot! to enjoy? all of it literally all art makes my heart go whoosh

introvert/extrovert/ambivert: ambivert

favorite literary quote: i had to search so hard for this bc i couldnt remember it all but my fave book in my early teens was across the universe by beth revis and i always really liked this quote idk why: " I stare at the stars... And even though there are so many and they look so close together, I know they are light years apart. The glitter in the sky looks as if I could scoop it all up in my hands and let the stars swirl and touch one another, but they are so distant, so very far apart, that they cannot feel the warmth of each other, even though they are made of burning. This is the secret of the stars, I tell myself. In the end, we are alone. No matter how close you seem, no one else can touch you."

some of your favorite books: i dont read as much as i used to so most of the books i loved are young adult books but: the crank series by ellen hopkins, the painter from shanghai by jennifer cody epstein, every day by david levithan, i am the messenger by marcus zusak

if you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?: i want to travel as much as possible, but i think i'll always wanna come home to canada. maybe not where i live now, but canada just feels the most like home and id love to live somewhere beautiful here

if you could live in any time in history when would it be?: i mean i guess my gay ass is in the most ideal timeline right now, but bigotry and such out of the picture i would have fucked w the 70s so hard....big hair big shoes and just not giving a fuck??? gimme

if you could play any instrument masterfully what would it be?: guitar or piano are obvious choices but tbh id be an iconic saxophone player

if you have one, what mythological god or goddess do you have a connection to?: artemis and apollo were the first deities i was drawn to when i started my craft and figuring out religion and such, but recently i have been very drawn to persephone and dionysus??

lastly, favorite recent selfie from your camera roll: (i never take selfies this is the most up to date pic i have and its bad but oh well)

i'm not gonna tag anyone bc i dont have friends but pls do it if u wanna!! i wanna know yall better!!!

[exoplvnet]

about me tag

Rules:

Tag the person who tagged you.

Answer the questions.

Tag 10 people.

I was tagged by @theprinceofdaegu, thank you, bby !

How tall are you?

I'm like,,a bit over 5′2

What colour and style is your hair?

my hair is brown and low-key pretty wavy, it’s to a bit past my shoulders now!

What colour are your eyes?

light blue!

Do you wear glasses?

nope ~

Do you wear braces?

no! I used to, though

What’s your fashion sense?

...it varies? I wear a lot of floral prints, oversized sweaters. I kinda always wear either adidas, converse, or doc martens,,,leggings are my go to, high waisted jeans. I always tuck in my t-shirts, I like wearing flannels, denim jackets, things like that? hell if I know. I love makeup, though ! I do a lot of peachy toned looks. 

Full name?

liza p. f., I don’t wanna give out my full name ^^ 

When were you born?

08.20.00

Where are you from and where do you live now?

I’m from new york !! a bit outside the city, maybe 30 min from the city. rn I go to boarding school in the middle of nowhere, connecticut, and I'll be going to college in the heart of boston!

What school do you go to?

again, don’t really feel super comfy telling? but I go to a highly competitive and fairly well known school in ct, and my college is well known for being a very theatre, film, and communications based school...it’s small and super liberal and inclusive ! fuckin’ love my college, wow...I'm majoring in marketing communications.

What kind of student are you?

I procrastinate but I'm a very strong student and am at the top of my class.

Do you like school?

eh? I like my school’s academics, but socially,,,girls here can be complete bitches.

Favourite subject?

spanish or my art history courses

Favourite TV show?

game of thrones, probably? or maybe shameless 

Favourite movie?

the favourite or ladybird

Favourite books?

anything by cassandra clare, we are the ants by shaun david hutchinson (highly recommend), the foxhole court

Favourite pastime?

listening to music, digital art, creative writing, running my koc blog,,,crying over hot idols, the usual

Do you have any regrets?

lmao so fucking many

Dream job?

working as the creative director for international ad campaigns, or something like that? I'd love to work for an entertainment agency, honestly -- part of the 18 year old in me is like ‘haha wow imagine working for jyp doing advertising or smth’ but my korean would need to improve a lot, huh? I'm majoring in marketing communications with a focus in advertising for entertainment, and double minoring in digital media & culture and creative writing, so we’ll see where that takes me, yeah? but I'm definitely creative minded and have a super good visual sense! 

Would you ever like to be married?

absolutely!!

Would you like to have kids?

...I would love to have kids, but ngl, the concept of actually physically having kids absolutely terrifies me. I'm sure I'll think differently when I’m older? maybe. if not, adoption ! 

How many?

two, ideally?

Do you like shopping?

yes, but it also stresses me out when I'm broke ahaha

What countries have you visited?

:/ only the usa and canada, rip ,, ive been all over the states, though

Scariest nightmare you ever had?

mmm I don't really ever remember them, but probably anything to do with feeling unheard/helpless,,,also trauma flashback nightmares suck.

Any enemies?

im a petty bitch but I don't really have enemies

Any significant other?

ha, no, not now. couple of friends with benefits but nothing else

Do you believe in miracles?

not religious miracles, but yeah ?

How are you?

great ! just bought a signed nuest album uwu,, im tired though oof

tagging: @j-ngin88, @httpminyoongigenius, @tearsof-regret, @kim-mins3ok, @jongdaeandaflower ! 

[sundaynightnovels]

Character Creation Tag 2

Ahh, I’ve been tagged again for this! Thank you so much @candycoatedcatastrophe​, you’ve just given me ample reason to bombard my followers with more random facts about my OCs!

This time, I’m going to be doing on Jun -- just because I’ve been brainstorming a little more about him these couple of days.

1) What was the first element of your OC that you remember considering (name, appearance, backstory, etc.?)

I think for me it was just his general personality and vibe. I knew what I wanted this character to be like, kinda, so I wrote him.

2) Did you design them with any other characters/OCs from their universe in mind?

Yep, with Teng in mind. 

3) How did you choose their name?

The funny thing is I remember how I chose his name, but I don’t know why exactly I landed with it. So I was thinking about the Four Great Beauties of China (it’s a historical thing, really, about four women who are known throughout history for their beauty) and then I was thinking of Wang Zhaojun, and I thought that the name Jun would actually fit him. I don’t even know why I thought that -- he’s definitely not based off of her at all, though he is known to be pretty-looking / good-looking in the novels. 

Also, I’m still debating between the actual Chinese character for his name. It’d either be  君  (which is the character used for Wang Zhaojun’s name), which kinda means like gentleman or lord, and 俊 , which is the more common character used for a chinese name and means handsome. i’m debating between them more for stylistic and the right ~feels~, rather than actual meaning. HAHA. also just note that the two characters are pronounced with different tones, even though they have the same romanisation.

4) In developing their backstory, what elements of the world they live in played the most influential parts?

Well. His past is the backstory, and his past is the most influential part. I don’t know how to answer this.

5) Is there any significance behind their hair colour?

Here we go again... nope.

6) Is there any significance behind their eye colour?

Nah.

7) Is there any significance behind their height?

He’s slightly tall, slightly above average. You know, to match his above average looks as well.

8) What (if anything) do you relate to within their character/story?

He’s a little like... well, he has a really bleak sense of humour that he usually delivers in a deadpan tone -- which is like me, really. he’s also kinda like, you know ‘i’m gonna do what i like’ -- but not really in the yolo sense of things, because... that’s just somehow a different attitude from what he takes -- which is how im like too, because yeah, i just wanna do what i like and the reason why i probably am not finding a job after grad rn is because i don’t know what i like yet and i don’t want to be stuck in some job that i don’t want to be in. so yeah. typically young adult stuff.

9) Are they based off of you, in some way?

Nah. like i said before, no one is based off of me.

10) Did you know what the OC’s sexuality would be at the time of their creation?

nope, but now i know. he’s bi.

11) What have you found to be most difficult about creating art for your OC (any form of art: Writing, drawing, edits, etc.)?

his sense of humour can get a little too similar to zhen’s. i’m trying to differentiate them a little bit more.

12) How far past the canon events that take place in their world have you extended their story, if at all?

i kinda know his past, for the most part. trying to shape up his personality and character more, though.

13) If you had to narrow it down to 2 things that you MUST keep in mind while working with your OC, what would those things be?

he’s just lonely, and he’s just afraid.

14) What is something about your OC that can make you laugh?

Ahaha. His terrible jokes. Okay, I’ve posted this somewhere before early early on, but i’m going to post it again because i love it (and it’s not gonna make much sense without context but still) (and okay tbh my sense of humour is warped & im usually the only one laughing at my jokes so don’t get your expectations high)

(i hope you’re not disappointed)

15) What is something about your OC can make you cry?

the fact that he always pushes people away

16) Is there some element you regret adding to your OC or their story?

not really, no.

17) What is the most recent thing you’ve discovered about your OC?

he can be rather stubborn

18) What is your favourite fact about your OC?

that he doesn’t mind calling out everyone else’s bullshit

tagging (if you’ve already been tagged / i’ve tagged you before, maybe you can do another OC of yours!) @inked-waves @stuffylana @inexorableblob @incandescent-creativity @jess---writes @katywritesbooks @kit-tells-a-story && anyone else!