#also i always was like The Fuck Harry u really want ur first kiss with CHO CHANG to involve her crying over her dead bf

[drawlfoy]

I can't tell you just how heartbroken Wonders of Ohio left me. I've only ever felt that way with one other fic, and even then WoO topped it. Unlike WoO, the other fic had a very clean cut ending to it (they both died at the end rip) so I wasn't left to my own thoughts about what could've happened after. Which might be why WoO has been absolutely haunting me for the past two days, it hasn't left my mind at all. I think about certain moments, the ending, oh god ESPECIALLY THE ENDING, AT LEAST once an hour. I get that familiar feeling of my throat drying up and my eyes begin to water when I think about it. Another reason being the way you write. I was able to immerse myself into the story and imagine what I was reading in my head, one specific case of this I remember was when Draco made Reader and himself late to school. When he was fidgeting in the passengers seat, his hair unkempt, I could almost see him. I imagined draco with his messy platinum hair, wearing a muggle polo shirt because its just so posh rich kid of him, nervous as he leaned over the middle compartment into the backseat as he performed that glamour spell. I've never been very creative and imaginative but with your writing it was easy for me. It reminded me of how I was able to do the same when reading the Harry Potter books, being able to almost live in that universe in my head was so refreshing. Anyways this is really long, SORRY, but when I saw that you also had a Tumblr (as I originally read your stories on AO3) I just had to look. I scrolled through your page for a while and I gasped when I eventually saw that you posted what you started on writing for a continued ending? (I don't know how to phrase it I'm sorry 😭) I read it and while WoO is still breaking my heart over and over again, I think I'll be able to think about it for longer than 5 minutes at a time without bursting into tears now. So thank you. 🩷

AHHH i’m so upset bc i typed out a whole response and the fucking tumblr app (count ur days staff) deleted it urghhh

anyway some points i’d like to hit (apologies for the length but i just wanted to give this the response it deserved):

1) first of all THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHABKYOU this was genuinely the highlight of my whole year. people like you are the reason i write and i’m being so genuine when i say that this message is like the kind of stuff i dream about getting as a writer. so in conc i’m kissing you on the mouth you didn’t need to but you wrote all of this out and for that i’m forever grateful

2) some thoughts on the ending: first of all IM SORRY lmaoo. i’ll let u in on a little secret: i actually originally planned on a completely different ending where y/n ended up using the box right off the bat and went back to england and spent the last half of the fic learning magic and interacting with the golden trio crew/the malfoys. i told this to a few writer friends and they made me realize that it wouldn’t be as useful in actually answering the silly question that i based the whole fic on (what would draco do if he was plopped in the middle of muggle america?). i decided then that i really was more interested in learning how draco’s character would develop as he came to love someone who was fundamentally differently from him (and didn’t first go through a change that departed from her basic character traits). from then on i realized that a happy ending wouldn’t involve either of them giving up their world at the end of the summer, since they needed to grow up a little bit (and at that point i was old enough to find the idea of giving up your entire life for a relationship at 18 completely terrifying). hence the sad ending…but i think in the long run it means that they end up having a much healthier dynamic later on!

3) if you want to know about what happened after the deleted scene you found: i left the ending so open because i always thought i’d come back to write another series where i explored what happened after, but i don’t think i’ll end up doing that so i’ll tell you what i was planning. i always imagined y/n eventually going to england after graduating and getting established in her career and learning magic (because like literally who wouldn’t if presented with that option). draco is just kind of like a stay at home husband who’s just psyched to be there.

4) thank you so so much for your note about how immersive WoO was!! i’m ngl i’ve always struggled with incorporating imagery into my work. i spent my formative years avoiding anything i considered to be purple prose and that really reflected in my writing. i’m not a super visual person so if i could mention the 3 details i think are important in each scene and could just get on with the meat of the plot, i would, so i’m so thrilled to hear that it was able to give you that experience as a reader despite the fact that i’ve always been worried that i can’t 🥹 thank you again for telling me all of this bc it genuinely warmed my heart i know that this is a little disjointed but oml this like made my day

ill stop talking now because i’m gonna get even more incoherent okok but thank you!!!!! <3

[erodasfishtacos]

I fucking love mlb!harry and ceo!harry

Ur so talented

Erm i had an idea (pls feel free to ignore, i know u hv a busy schedule and life outside of tumblr) but what if mlb!harry played badly in a game (or less than how he expected he wld perform) and y/n makes him feel better

Or

Ceo!harry loses an important deal and y/n makes him feel better

CRAMP

i write for FREE - so if you would like to support my work, you can donate here. ($15+ is guaranteed blurb written for you).

if you liked - pleasure support me by reblogging, recommending, liking, commenting, and come talk to me about the fic!

warnings: smut; 18 +

YN knew it wasn’t going to be a fun time when Harry came home that night.

All four babies were fast asleep in their respective rooms and she was lounging on the couch, some cooking show on after she watched her husband play a rough game on ESPN.

He got hit with a fastball to his calf during the second inning and after that, his performance went downhill and he couldn’t get back on track.

He threw three homeruns and only made a few mediocre hits, trying to ignore the shooting pain in his lower leg.

In a typical Harry move, he refused to do the end of game handshakes with the opposing team and stormed off the field.

An interviewer chasing after him to ask him a question and Harry give her a dirty look before muttering, “Get away from me. I’m not answerin’ any questions,” before he disappears down the stairs.

YN knew just the thing that will cheer him up.

-

Harry trecks into the house with heavy feet and tense shoulders, his eyes are tired and frustrated as he drops his duffle on the ground carelessly.

“Hi,” YN murmurs when he steps into the living room, she was all curled up in a fluffy blanket with a surprise underneath.

“Hi,” He says back blandly, the frown unmoving from his face - almost like a pouty little kid.

“Can you come rub m’back?” She asks, feeling herself dampen a little bit with the excitement of what’s to come.

Harry scoffs, obviously in a sour mood, “I just finished a game, walked in the door, and tha’s the first thing I get is a demand?”

“Okay? And I just dealt with all four of your babies all day today. Ezra refused to be put down for more than five minutes straight,” She tries to bite down the smile, she shouldn’t find it funny when her husband’s bent out of shape.

That makes him melt a bit though, voice soften minutely, “Were the babies good today?”

“I’ll tell you about it after you rub my back.”

Harry grumbles, kicking off his trainers with a irritated edge, and heavy-footed as he makes his way to the couch.

“Take off the blanket and move on y’belly then,” He mutters, eyes boring into hers without reflecting the amusement that she has - if he was in a better mood he would have helped her along.

When she slips off the blanket and quickly moves on her stomach, burying her face in her arms when she hears him sucks in a breath.

“Wha’ are y’naked?” Harry demands, obviously trying to stay irritated because he deserved it for having such a shitty game.

YN makes sure her voice sounds airy and coy, “Just got hot is all.”

“S’fuckin’ freezin’ in here,” He rebukes but sits on the side of the couch with only a little room on the edge - his large hand coming to massage at her back muscles.

“Mmm,” She agrees noncommittally, feeling Harry’s hand wander curiously, further down her back to the lower curve before her bum.

“Y’trying to cheer m’up with sex,” Harry accuses, bent out of shape because he just wants to sulk in his poor performance but also he has the most beautiful woman in the world in front of him - bare and wet for him.

“I didn’t offer sex,” YN smirks, her husband falls into her to tricks every fucking time, no matter how much of bad mood he’s in.

Harry’s voice gets lower, more dangerous and gravely, “No? Just flashin’ y’ass at me for fun now? Decided for absolutely no reason to be waiting for m’to come home naked?”

“No reason at all,” She agrees, excitement building when his gentle massage turns rougher, hands kneading a little deeper into her muscles.

He shakes his head, eyes glued onto her backside where her cheeks are round and hiding what he really wants to see, “So if I dip m’fingers down between y’pretty thighs, your cunt won’t be soaking f’me?”

Harry’s skin prickles when his wife lets out a feathery, delicate moan at his words, he’s desperately trying to hold onto all of his negative feelings but he’s struggling because of the beauty that’s squirmy underneath him.

“Dry as the Sahara.”

It makes Harry finally break a little, letting out a belly laugh, and smacking her bum hard enough to make her squeak in delight.

His fingers travel down between her puffy folds, slipping into the heavenly heat of her where she is soaking his fingers.

In a filthy move, he pulls them back up and rubs them on his wife’s lips, “If y’not wet than what’s on y’lips, darlin’?”

Harry’s cock twitches when she lets out a quiet whine, pink tongue tracing her bottom lip before she laps at her husband’s thick fingers.

“Fuck,” He grunts, pressing down on her tongue,“Y’gonna let m’hit it from behind?”

When she can speak, she shakes her head, “No, want it on m’back.”

“Spoiled thing,” He murmurs, giving her one more smack before helping her flip back over, “Supposed t’be all about me, not you.”

YN’s eyes are sparkling, hand coming to tug lightly at his locks and pull him down into a kiss, her other hand wriggling his shorts down.

“All I had to do was take m’clothes off, didn’t even have to ask for it,” She giggles sweetly, teasingly, “Doesn’t matter what mood you’re in, always want to give it to me.”

“Best I’ve ever had, mama,” Harry replies against her lips, mumbled a bit as she grips him and leads him right to where she needs him most.

“Only one you ever had, only one you ever will have,” YN remarks confidently before throwing her head back when he bottoms out.

“Y’so fuckin’ hot when you’re possessive. You already know y’own me, darling. I bought you this big ole’ house, got four of m’babies sleepin’ upstairs, and got y’under me every night. I’m fucking yours. I have been since we met.”

“Harder, H,” She demands, nails digging into his strong shoulders as he fucks into her at a steady pace.

“Be quiet, let m’do it how I want,” He chides, keeping a slow but hard rhythm as he ducks down the suck at the hard peaks of her breasts before grazing them with his teeth.

“Do it how I want,” YN moans with an arrogant tone, it just drops with how confident she is that her husband is whipped for her. (He is).

But he’s already in a less than great mood so it has him flipping her, putting her onto all four as he wants, and slamming back in.

“We’re gonna do it ‘ow I want it,” He grunts in her ear, his hand gripping her cheek roughly enough to dimple and his other wrapping in her messy hair, “Y’absolutely soakin’ me, pet.”

“Oooh, fuck!” YN hisses but it doesn’t sound like a normal moan from her - Harry knows every sound his wife is able to make.

“Mama? Y’alright?” Harry checks, slowing down but not completely losing momentum as he loosens his grip on her hair.

“Cramp, I’m cramping. Want it on m’back,” YN whines, trying to shake out her leg and Harry obliges, helping her back down to their original position.

Again, Harry isn’t stupid.

As soon as she is back where she’s moaning lowly and with an airy hitch as she goes to pinch at one of her nipples.

“Y’such a spoiled brat,” Harry shakes his head in disbelief, “Y’didnt have a leg cramp, y’just wanted to be a pillow princess.”

“Lies,” YN giggles, eyes bright and happy as she peers up at her husband who is looking down a her like she hung the fucking moon and stars.

No one would ever be able to convince him that she didn’t.

“M’the one who had the shit day. I’ve just spoiled you so fuckin’ rotten tha’ y’just a desperate slut,” He laughs meanly but it sends a full body zip of electricity through his wife and he knows it.

“Harry,” She chokes out, gripping his biceps hard.

“Hands to yourself,” He snaps, taking her hands and pinning them above her head with just one of his hands.

The other comes down and lands a smack right on her puffy folds, once..twice…three times before YN is coming on him.

“Easy f’me,” Harry hums with satisfaction, leaning down to kiss her moans quiet as he fucks in hard a handful on times before he’s filling her up, “There y’go, hm? Marking y’up as mine, all full of me.”

“Yeah, baby,” YN agrees dazed, dated as he comes to a halt as he softens and pulls out - wiping her down with his shirt as she whines, “Sensitive.”

“M’sorry, mama,” Her husband apologizes, trying to be careful around her nerves.

After, they lay on the couch - talking about their day until Briar’s monitor lights up from the side table with high pitched cries.

“Mama, mama, daddy,” The thirteen month old sobs as she sits up in her crib - unable to find her binky in the dark.

“I’ll go get the bub,” Harry offers, sitting up and tugging his briefs and shorts back on.

“Okay, she missed you a lot today. I’m going to go shower.”

-

When Harry steps into the room, Briar is looking expectantly at the door and her eyes widen when she spots her father.

“Daddy, dadada,” She babbles happily, standing up to clutch the railing of her crib with anticipation.

“Oh, there’s m’lil mama. Hi darling,” Harry coos softly, gathering her up into his arms and taking a step over to the rocking chair.

He pops her pacifier back between her lips and she looks up at him with heavy-lids, it doesn’t take long before her blinks get longer until her eyes shut close.

Harry doesn’t know what he did to deserve such an amazing life but he was sure fucking grateful.

[whiskehorange]

Hi, I’m so sorry to bother you but I’ve been feeling down lately and I really enjoy reading ur blog. Is it ok if you do Jason, micheal, bubba Thomas, Brahms ,pyramid head, asa and Harry warden if possible with an S/O who’s usually happy and willing and all of a sudden she breaks down one day bawling on the couch or something and she didn’t know they were there, not wanting to make them upset or sad? Sorry if it’s really sad, I just need a lil love, I love u and ur blog! Thank you! Take your time and drinks lots of water!

Jason

Uhm, excuse me bitch what in the fuck is going on? You gave you the right to scare the shit out of Jason like that?

When he first came home the weeping made him freeze. He was positive it wasn’t you, he had never even seen you frown before so this absolutely cannot be your crying. Yet, as he walked in to see you whip around, tears streaming down your face as you look at him in pure shock you almost send him falling backwards

He doesn’t even care what made you cry of feel this way he’s going to be up your ass the entire day. Coddling, kissing, rubbing, and doing any and all for of comforting that he knows how to do

Jason absolutely hates seeing you cry, especially as hard as you did. You’re more than welcome to talk to him about it for as long as you want whenever you want and all he will do is listen and comfort you

Jason is a very physically affectionate man, even though he is a bit hesitant at first, so when you feel yourself in a time like this, you bess’ believe that he’s going to be around you 24/7. Even a few days after that, he needs to be your therapist (which he’s real good at)

Michael

You won’t be able to see it, but Michael is panicking and sweating bullets underneath that mask. It’s an immediate fight or fight response

Michael, overall, isn’t too good with handling other peoples emotions, so don’t be surprised when he doesn’t come to you right away for any sort of comfort in those "typically ways"

Hugging, coddling, cuddling, and any typeof caressing is going to come later in the day when things have begun to quiet down. Not only is he completely unused to having to comfort you in anyway like this, but he's pretty pissed at whatever made you come to this point

The main thing Michael wants you to do is to talk to him, tell him what's wrong so that he knows just how to handle the situation: either to kill or to... not know what to do

It's very safe to say that he will get better with knowing how to comfort you if this does ever happen again, which he really hopes it won't.

Bubba

There is a lot that can make Bubba cry, at this is one of the times he wasn't expecting to. Everyday, no matter how hard it was for him, he knew he could count on your cheery face to great him when he comes running back inside

His first reaction is to panic; he's never been put in this sort of situation before with you and he really doesn't know how to approach you. He sort of just sits awkwardly next to you and whines

Comfort does eventually find your way with pets and hugs, there aren't really any verbal affirmations he can give you, but for what he lacks in communication he can make up with physical affection one way or another

A downside to Bubba, however, is that he almost has an out-of-sight-out-of-mind personality realistically. So don't get too upset if when you have some space from him that same day that he'll sort of forget you've been upset

In that case, be prepared for the exact same meltdown when he figures out how upset you've been for the second time

Thomas

Thomas' defense mode in immediately activated. Never would he have thought that he would have to be on the comforting side so you'll have to give him a minute, but it really isn't even that long

He's gentle and patient, he knows what its like to feel such extreme motions and most of all that they are pretty hard to get out, so take your time and he'll be here with you until you're back up on your feet. Literally

To say you scared him would be an understatement, but he pushes that aside to genuinely make sure that you are not physically hurt, because if that was the case whoever did it should be the one scared

Instead, Thomas has somewhere quiet for you to go with him, the least he would want is for Hoyt to complain about such "loud" crying in the house. It's better for him to give out physically comforting, too!

His go to's are hugs and petting/caressing, it's what he would want. It's comforting to say the least, but the fact that you can't even breath right doesn't go down well when he's crushing your spinal cord in a bear hug

Braham

However oblivious, he's oddly able to tell that you're acting different before you even get the chance to melt down. From all of the time spent watching you from within the walls, you can say that he knows you like the back of his hand

Brahms has absolutely no clue how to address you. Of course he's fended for himself for a long time but any sort of emotional help is foreign to him

He'll come around, of course, the moment that you do breakdown he's by your side and he's ready to do just about anything you tell him to do but he's on edge

However, the sort of comfort you will get from him will be physical, it's the best way he can quickly show any form of care for you that he thinks will work. Brahms absolutely hates seeing you this way because he want to be able to fix the problem and he just doesn't know how

He insists that you tell him whats wrong as he holds you, curled up, in his lap. Gently caressing your head and face as he listens to your soft cries and explanation. It's the best he can do for you and he knows that that he'll have to pay close attention to when you baby him next, that way he's prepared for whenever this might happen next

Pyramid Head

What the fuck even? Pyramid Head isn't going to catch on too soon, but the moment he hears your cries from anywhere he is by your side immediately

He hates it the most out everyone on this list, and I mean that heavily. Not only does he go on rampages because he doesn't know what's wrong, but it pisses him off to no end that he doesn't know how to handle it

Pyramid Head wants so bad to be able to comfort you and understand what's made you this upset that he can come across as a little overbearing, but mainly clingy. He doesn't leave your side well after you've stopped crying and makes sure to keep an eye on you from now on so that he can possibly be there before this happens again

While he isn't able to properly communicate to you, a lot of his body language displays signs of uncomforted alongside you. Just about any emotion you feel he absorbs and feels it right with you, mainly because its his way of showing you that you're not alone and he's here to spend this time with you

Just please don't ever do that again it's so stressful he likes seeing you bubbly not sad omfg-

Asa

Asa is the most unreadable, really. He's able to keep his composure the entire time as you bawl your eyes out before him, but inside he's shaking up a little. He doesn't like seeing you upset whens it's not for play of course, so it comes as a bit of a surprise for even him

He's a little hesitant to comfort you because he is surprised, but is also just one of the most distant when it comes to comfort in this way, While being used to your much brighter personality, eventually he'll get better at it for for the time being, you don't have to deal with much of him

There is some physical reassurance, so you're not completely neglected, but Asa does have other things to do. He gently takes you in his arms and leads you up to the bedroom where he lays you down, caressing your head and covering you up

He'll leave to get you water or a drink and some other small things like your phone or a small snack if you haven't eaten, but mostly your phone so that you can call or text him if you need him. From there he'll shut the lights iff and let you get a bit of sleep

Asa stays in the house and cancels any outside plans for the day and makes sure that his phone's ringer is on at all times. By the time you call him for something he'll be up to your room before the ringtone even ends

Harry

Harry is most definitely clueless and will feel like he's going to cry right alongside you. Harry is not good at handling his own emotions let alone yours

He adored being around your bright and shining face everyday, it was something that could regulate his own and he clung to you like a moth to a lamp. So, you can only image the confusion and terror Harry experiences when he comes home to you the complete opposite

It's a very frantic sort of comfort that he gives you, moving from one thing to another to try to figure out what's wrong and what do to. It's really almost as if Harry feels your emotions stronger than you do, but he wants to do everything in his power to fix you

He comes home extra aware in the future, always prepared to be there by your side in hopes to deal with your feelings better, but he still doesn't like it at all. He goes out of his way to do more things around the house of for you in general to lessen up any stress, even if there was none in the first place

[celestialrry]

stood up

3.5k

hello everyone!!!! I've been awol for literally weeks because i had absolutely NO motivation to write but i finally finished this piece ˊᗜˋ so YAY. ALSOO thank you for following me, liking, and reblogging my pieces (it encourages me somuchsothankyouireallyappreciateit-- and remember reblogging really helps us writers :))) )  here’s a hug for all ur patience and feel free to send me asks or requests i love talking to you guys! ε(♡'-')з

summary: Harry keeps standing Y/N up. (request from @ballerinrry! thank u love)

warnings: cursing, mentions of alcohol and sex, angsty but with a happy ending cause for some reason i can never let them end on a bad note

Y/N was excited.

It had been a while since Harry had asked her to go on a date, it was always the other way around recently. She couldn’t blame him though, Y/N knew just how busy Harry always was, and it wasn’t like he was purposefully not asking her to go do things, he just had a lot on his plate.

That’s what she kept telling herself anyways. 

It’s what she told herself when it had been 2 weeks since they had even eaten a meal together, and given the fact that just a few months ago Harry had come back to London for a while, that was rare. So, Y/N asked him to grab lunch on a Saturday while they were lying in bed together, and when he agreed, but failed to show up, leaving Y/N sitting at the cafe, her lips morphed into a frown and her eyes not focusing on the phone in front of her, she told herself he was simply booked up with meetings and studio time and such. 

Thats what he told her when he got into bed that night to apologize for accidentally standing her up. She forgave him, of course, and suggested they could just get dinner the next week. He agreed, even walked around to his calander her to show her he was marking the date off in his calendar with a heart, her first initial, and 7:00 PM etched into the little box with red sharpie. 

So, the week passed with quick kisses of good mornings and good nights, and while Harry was gone Y/N had on a black dress she had been excited to wear for a while now, with those little mini silver heels and a coat strung over her shoulders as she sat on her couch waiting for Harry to swing by to pick her up. She shot him a text that simply asked “You otw? xx”

He was not.

It took about 30 minutes of waiting on their couch to realize he was standing her up, again. And it took until the next morning for Harry to see her text (his phone had been on do not disturb while he was at the studio and he ended up spending the night at Sarah and Mitch’s after a few beers), and for the guilt to seep through his veins. 

He apologized, again. And Y/N forgave him, again. 

Only until it got to the point where Y/N no longer remembered the amount of times Harry had stood her up, for being at the studio, or sleeping after a meeting, or simply just not paying attention to his phone, she knew there was a problem. 

Harry was fully aware of the problem too. He knew that this was no way to ever treat a partner, and if someone was doing this to him, he’d dump them— well, he’s never been one to end a relationship unless it was necessary, so that’s an exaggeration, but it’s the principle of the thing. 

Which is why when he got home one day around 11 PM, gave her a kiss to the forehead after she sat up in their bed to give him a hug, and a soft  “Can we talk?” escaped her lips, he knew he had to fix this. So he asked her if they could talk over dinner the next night, he just wanted to sleep but also wanted to fix things with his girl, asking her if she was free of course, before telling her he’s gonna make a reservation at that nice restaurant the two of them used to go to quite often, because “it’s been a while since I’ve taken my favorite girl out”.

A grin broke out on her face because he had asked her! And if Harry was planning it, there’s no way he’d cancel or stand her up. 

 So yeah, Y/N was excited.

She woke up that morning with a smile on her face, and something akin to a what she thinks a rainbow would feel like running through her veins. It had only been a few months since she’d last been on a date with her boyfriend of almost 2 years and a half in person, and she was going to make the most of it. Because after this date, things would change. They’d spend more time together again and it would be like this little bump (that neither had acknowledged) never happened.

Y/N did, well, everything to prepare. Took a long shower, shaved, put on that coconut lotion Harry likes— he tended to dig his face in her neck when he smelled it while holding her—, brushed her teeth more than 3 times, dug in her closet to find that one patterned soft purple dress she bought ages ago but never had a change to wear it, until now, put on those really cute heels Harry said he liked once (“Looks like something you’d wear on a runway pet, I love ‘em.”), and even styled her hair differently than normal.

He had told her he would swing by at 8 on the dot after the studio, and soon enough, it was 8, with no sign from the man who made the promise himself. Y/N thought maybe there was traffic, he was just running late, texted him a quick, “Can’t wait to see you!! xxx” and put her phone on the coffee table, waiting on their couch. 

8 turned to 9, 9 turned to 10, 10 turned to 11, and soon it was midnight. Y/N doesn’t think she’d ever felt more empty than how she felt then, walking to their shared room of a year, slipping off her heels and tossing them towards the closet, as well as pulling her dress over herself and letting it fall to the floor behind her, grabbing that one t-shirt she always wears when she needs comfort (which just happened to an extra 2018 Live on Tour shirt Harry had laying around that she snatched just 3 months into them dating), and flopping into bed.  

She couldn’t fall asleep, and instead spent her time curled up in their bedsheets, a steady flow of tears making their way down her blush covered cheeks.

。:°ஐ

Harry usually didn’t make mistakes.

Sure, he had his moments, grabbing the wrong coffee off the counter when his name was called at the cafe, forgetting to text Jeff that he actually couldn’t make it to a meeting that was scheduled in a few hours. Just little things, things that didn’t matter that much, and could always be fixed. He didn’t usually make mistakes that weren’t easy to fix. He just wasn’t that kind of guy.

Until, he was.

Harry loved Y/N. He loved having her around, loved spending time with her, loved loving on her, loved kissing her, loved touching her, loved the way she went about almost everything. He was so in love with her, that hurting her was out of the question. He never wanted to be the one to make her cry, make her bottom lip quiver before the tears rushed out like he’d seen many times before, due to movies, his songs (which as sadistic as it sounds was an ego builder to have someone so close to him so affected by the music he wrote), her school work, or even her friends that weren’t being so nice.

In fact, he was so in love with her, even being so afraid of commitment (it took him over a year of them dating to ask her to move in), all he wanted to do was blurt out those 4 dreaded words. “Will you marry me?” It was a bond for life, and he was terrified of that, but with Y/N all he wanted to do was spend the rest of his living days with her.

When Harry had come back from being in L.A. for so long and finally being in the same city as his girlfriend back at their home, all they did was spend time together. Every time he saw Y/N all he wanted to do was say those 4 words that he hadn’t even fully come to terms with himself. It was dangerous, and Harry’s self control when it came to Y/N was lacking, so he simply did was every normal person would do in his situation.

He stood her up. 

Many more times than he could count, and of course he felt like the shittiest person in the world— shittiest boyfriend in the world—but at least now she can’t possibly be under the impression that he wanted to marry her, which is what he wanted. Or thought he wanted, until Sarah called him up one day after he had stood Y/N up for dinner the night before and told him off. Told Harry just how fucking terrible he made Y/N feel, how unwanted she thought she was, how she felt like they were loosing their relationship, and Harry didn’t know what to do with himself. (Of course Y/N had sobbed to Sarah about it over the phone while she was drunk off the wine she opened 40 minutes after Harry said he would be there, so she really didn’t even remember the conversation).

And later that day Harry had come home, heard her wavering voice asking if they could talk, and decided in his head he would tell her how he felt, how sorry he was, and how he wanted to be with her forever and love her forever if she allowed him. He had a few expectations for their dinner, that Y/N would probably tell him how he’s made her feel, and Harry would apologize, tell her why he did it, explain he thought it was no excuse, then tell her he plans on marrying her (obviously not proposing just yet, but finally bringing up the conversation they had never had even though they were in a serious committed relationship) and they’d go back home, have the most amazing sex ever, and forget about the whole thing. 

What Harry didn’t expect was to get a call from Jeff around 5 asking him to come to the studio to fix few vocals, then end up nailing down 2 songs in one night, go to a bar with the band to celebrate, get drunk, then pass out at Mitch and Sarahs flat. 

But that’s what happened, according to Mitch, who woke Harry up the very next morning. 

“Good morning man, wakey wakey,” Mitch’s teasing tone echoed through Harry’s (what felt like full of vodka) brain as he groaned and squinted his eyes. “Why are you waking me up at this hour in the morning?” Harry asked drearily, sighing and simultaneously regretting last night as a whole because the last thing he wanted to do while hungover was be up before at least 9 AM.

“We’ve gotta go to meet with Jeff about tour in like a hour, H” Mitch stated .

At Mitch’s words Harry sat up on their couch, eyes wide in fear. “Wait mate, I thought tha’ meeting was on Wednesday.”

“It is Wednesday H, god how drunk did we let you get last night…” Mitch said, beginning to recount some of Harry’s antics the night before. Harry however, couldn’t hear a thing with the blood pumping through his ears. If today was Wednesday, that meant yesterday was Tuesday, and he went and got trashed at a bar with his friends Tuesday night when— when he was supposed to be on a date with Y/N, when he was supposed to confess his intentions, when he was supposed to apologize for standing her up over and over, yet instead he went and did it again.

Now this, this was a mistake.

“…H. H. Harry? Are you there?” Mitch’s voice came back into focus and Harry shook his head. “I- fuck, I was supposed to take Y/N out last night.” Harry said, his voice trembling.

‘I’m sure she’ll forgive you, it’s just one night.” Mitch tried to make Harry feel better. He knew Y/N was a very forgiving person, she would get over this in no time.

“No, she won’t. I-I’ve stood her up for the past month and a half, Mitch.”

At these words, Mitch stands straight up  making pained eye contact with Sarah in the kitchen who was overhearing most of this conversation with her eyes wide. She had no idea it was this bad. “Month and a half? I thought it was just that one time a few weeks ago, Harry what the hell is wrong with you?” Harry simply shook his head and didn’t reply. He had absolutely no idea how to make it up to her. “I-fuck, I don’t know Mitch!” Harry raised his voice. “I need to see her and apologize, now.” Harry said, standing up and rushing over to the front door and slipping on his shoes. 

“This meeting is mandatory Harry, as much as I want you to see her too, she’d probably still asleep, and I don’t think this can be solved in under an hour.” Mitch said calmly, already knowing Harry was close to walking out his door. Harry stayed silent for a moment, weighing the options. Either go apologize to his girlfriend, or prioritize himself over her again. 

“We can do it another day, I’m sorry, but I have to go see her, tell Jeff I feel sick.” And he walked out without another word.

。:°ஐ

The morning after Harry stood Y/N up again was brutal. 

She stayed up all night, replaying moments with Harry in her head, analyzing if he wanted to be there with her, wondering if maybe he felt like he had to stay with her out of pity. It was torture, and the pain seemed to turn into numbness as time went by, and eventually the sun came up, and she stayed in bed, her motivation lost.

A loud crash and “Fuck!” woke her up, swollen eyes fluttering open to the invasive noise. Y/N furrowed her brows, her mind connecting everything that happened yesterday and unfortunately reminding her of the unbearable pain she went through the night before. A groan escaped her lips as she sat up and flung her legs out of her bed sheets that had been flung off the bed in the middle of the night.  She began grumbling to herself as she made her way downstairs, ready to tell Harry off for making so much noise.

Her mouth stopped moving, and instead remained in limbo as her eyes met Harry’s. His mouth opened to speak, but his words were caught in his throat as he saw the state she was in. It was when her mouth pressed into a line that he could begin talking. “Y/N, baby, please I know you don’t wanna see me or talk t’me right now but I’m so fuckin’ sorry, love. So so sorry, it was an accident, I went t’ the studio to fix a few things then got hung up on the songs and by the time we went to celebrate I completely lost track of time, and I was too drunk to drive home so I crashed at Mitch’s.”

Her mouth fell open at his words. Everything was happening too fast. Hearing that he stood her up to drink at a fucking bar to celebrate himself, then coming home and accidentally knocking over a glass in their kitchen (which she put together was the crash earlier after seeing the shards of broken glass on the floor) frustrated her to no end. She couldn’t bring herself to look at him any longer, and Harry had stopped talking after realizing what he just admitted to her. Without another glance, instead of looking at Y/N’s tear stained face, all he saw was her back, walking up the stairs to their room. 

“Fuck,” He said to himself before following her up the pink stairs. “Y/N, love wait-please, I’m so sorry, I just need to talk to you, I need to explain myself, please.” He begged as she shut their bedroom door in his face, his voice turning into a desperate whine at the end. 

。:°ஐ

It’s been 3 days since then, and she hasn’t spoken to him. He would leave in the mornings, kissing her forehead and mumbling an “I love you” and telling her exactly what time he’d be home, before leaving and coming back on time to find an empty plate in the sink and her lying in their bed, whether it be reading, scrolling on her phone, or typing on her laptop. He would apologize many times, reaching his hand out for hers and she would simply situate herself in their bed and lay down, back turned to him. 

Harry just couldn’t take it anymore. 

It was when she had finally let him kiss her forehead goodnight that he decided to take his chance. “Y/N.” He spoke softly, with no response or anything to indicate she heard him. “Baby, can we please talk- or I’ll talk and you listen, I just- I really need to say some things.” 

She was still faced away from him when he leaned against their headboard and he decided to keep going. 

“I- um. I’m sure you know how sorry I am, but I really am- sorry I mean. Not just for tonight but for every other time I’ve stood you up. I’m so sorry for not showing you how much you matter to me, and how much the things you do matter to me.”

It was then that she slowly sat up next to him and looked at him, eyes begging him to continue. He blushed at her intense eye-contact that he had barely gotten over the past few days and took a breath, opting to look at his hands fidgeting in his lap.

“We’ve been together for 2 and almost a half years, which is the longest relationship I’ve been in, and it’s no excuse to treat you this way, but I had just been thinking about how things progress even further than now,” He coughs. “Which is marriage, and when I finally came home, all I wanted to do was ask you to marry me- I don’t- m’not proposing right now, I just- I got really scared because wanting to spend the rest of your life with someone is crazy to me,

I’ve never thought that way about anyone else until you, I didn’t even really want to get married before you, and I started to distance myself before I ended up telling you this, but obviously that blew up in my face.” He chuckled a bit, locking eyes with her unreadable ones for a moment and lifting a hand to run through his hair. “What I’m trying to say, is that I love you, so so much, and I plan on marrying you— obviously if you want to too, of course— and I’m so sorry for trying to make you think that I didn’t care about you anymore or love you any less, because it’s the complete opposite of that.”

His eyes were watery now, as he started down at his interlocked fingers, and his eyes widened when her hand was gently placed over his own. “Harry,” Y/N began. “Look at me, please.” 

His head lifted to see her facing him, her brows knitted and a small smile on her face. “I forgive you, okay? I could tell you were kind of scared of commitment when we first started dating, and I wish I could say your reason for standing me up is surprising but it’s not.” They both chuckled a bit at this. “I- I’m still upset at you, I need you to know that, because 2 months of thinking the love of your life is avoiding you doesn’t feel all too great, so you suck for that,” she said, planting a quick kiss to his cheek which quickly turned pink. “But Harry, even if you asked me to marry you a year ago I would have said yes. I love you, so much, and I plan on spending the rest of my life with you as well. I’m sorry for giving you the silent treatment, it was… unnecessary and immature. So, thank you for apologizing. I love you.” She confessed again.

“S’okay, I deserved it, and I love you too. Maybe even more. So um, we’re okay?” Harry asked, a hopeful smile on his face. 

She nodded with a smile and pulled him into a much needed hug and pulled away only for him to bring her into an even more needed kiss. “If you ever try to pull that shit again, I’m breaking up with you.” She laughed and he tackled her into the sheets hiding his face in her neck.

“Duly noted, love. Duly noted.”

[harrystylescherry]

In My Feelings Part Five

a/n: HAPPY HALLOWEEN PEEPS!!! this entire part takes place on halloween! tonight! warning: half of this is unedited because i ran out of time, but i will come back tomorrow and edit it! im also going to add the exact fit/costume links later--im sorry im already running so late!

what it is: you and harry hate one another but that doesn’t stop you from fucking

warning: choking, cursing–i always feel like warnings can ruin the like, surprise or spoil the smut so im telling u now, if choking is too much for you, the other shit in this will not be for u either so read at ur own risk :)

word count: 16k

pls pls pls reblog if you liked it!

i’d love to hear your feedback :)

SERIES MASTERLIST

here we go:

October 31, 2020

A soft hum echoed in Harry’s throat as his eyes fluttered open. His left arm was half asleep where it was tucked under his pillow and his expensive sheets were warm against his chest. He shivered slightly when he felt the cold air on his bare back, where his comforter didn’t reach and felt something heavy on his right arm. He lifted his head from the pillow and looked over, slightly surprised to find you there on your side, hugging his arm, your forehead on his shoulder as you continued to sleep. 

As much as he didn’t want to wake you, his left arm was going numb and he couldn’t comfortably be on his stomach any longer. Harry started to turn his body over very slowly, using his left arm to prop him up as he turned towards you. He carefully wiggled his arm out of your grasp so that he could drape it over your waist as he settled back down. He let out a small breath of relief when you released a contented sigh and snuggled further into him. 

His eyes stayed focused on you as you slept, trailing over your lashes, your cute nose, the lips that to him seemed so perfectly formed. He knew he had always been attracted to you—there was never a question of that. The moment he saw you at Sarah’s for the first time, the thought that you were just a little bit out of his league managed to zip through his mind, which was an extremely rare occurrence for him. You were always so put together, so well spoken and intelligent, always talked about everything as if it was something you were passionate about even if you only had a passing interest and he couldn’t help but admire all of that. But you were always so cold to him—maybe not always but it didn’t take very long before you started being cruel to him and he didn’t understand the change. He could admit that maybe he should’ve asked you why you suddenly had a problem with him instead of becoming just as cold to you and deciding that you were the opposite of what you seemed to be—but also, no. You shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions the way that you did. You should’ve tried to get to know him more, get to know the situation more, before making wrong assumptions about him. 

The first night he kissed you, he wasn’t really sure why he did it. Of course he was attracted to you, but you were rude and bitchy and there wasn’t much coming from you that hinted at you being attracted to him in the same way. You obviously hadn’t shown it by the way you attacked him that night, but you also didn’t compliment him, he didn’t catch you staring at him the way he often stared at you—but he still thought there was something there. It was something invisible and maybe it had always been there, but he hadn’t felt it until that night. He had this feeling like he had to kiss you. He needed to know if it was really there or if it was whatever he was drinking, if it was something he had made up in his head—and he’s still not completely sure if there is something there. Wouldn’t the hatred have fallen away by now if there was? Wouldn’t things have been different between the two of you after the first time? The rom-coms he obsessed over said yes—if there was something, it would’ve presented itself by now. The two of you wouldn’t still be acting the same way you were. 

That being said, all of those movies are fake—and he knew that. They all followed a certain formula. He had never been in this situation before. He had never fucked someone he didn’t like more than one. He didn’t actively pursue them or get jealous over them the way he did with you. Maybe it was all in his head because absolutely nothing had changed—but maybe this formula was different. 

Harry actively tried to ignore the voice in the back of his mind that was screaming at him that something between the two of you had changed. He had been getting more affectionate with you and it seemed as though he couldn’t stop it. Note: the arm draped over the dip in your waist.

He tried not to think of the night at his house, how his hands were all over you and how he craved to be near you in a way he never had before. At the coffee shop, he felt a warmth in his chest when you touched him and he couldn’t help but hang onto every word you said. He was impressed with you for the first time since he had known you and he didn’t want you to leave. When you walked into the studio a few days later. His breath caught and every time he was with you, he wanted you to stay. He wanted you to stay—and he had never felt as insecure as he had the night before. He was embarrassed about the way he had begged you and it all seemed to come out of nowhere. He wasn’t sure when his hatred had started turn, but he didn’t particularly like it. 

It definitely hadn’t turned over completely. Last night was proof of that. He still hated the part of you that was cruel and acted so unbothered all the time. He often made jokes about his own emotional unavailability—but he was the minor leagues compared to you. The worst part of all of it was that yes, his hatred may have been turning, but he was more than sure that yours wasn’t. 

Harry flinched when the sound of your weekend alarm rang loudly throughout his room. He felt you stir as he turned slightly onto his back so he could reach over to his nightstand and stop it. He felt you try to move away from him, but before you could, he was back on his side and his arm was tight around you. “Where you goin’?” His voice was still raspy with sleep. 

“Wasn’t sure if it was okay.” Your voice was quiet and soft and he could see you were about ready to fall back asleep. 

“‘Course it’s okay.” Upon hearing the words, you relaxed back into his arms before laughing so softly he barely caught it. 

“What’s so funny?” He asked as his own eyes drifted closed again. 

“I just don’t know how to do this.”

“In general? Or with me?”

“You.” The word came out small and he could tell that you weren’t trying to hurt his feelings, but he still felt the tiny twist in his gut. 

“S’only weird if you make it weird.”

“I think it’s weird regardless.”

“I swear you liked me last night.” He was aware of the disappointment laced in his words, but hoped you weren’t. 

“I did.” That wasn’t exactly what he wanted to hear. 

Harry sighed. “Fine. If you don’t like me anymore, then we don’t have to do this.” He started to pull his arms from around you but your arm was quick to slide over his waist. 

“No. Don’t move.” You scooted closer to him and he was glad your head was tucked into his chest so you couldn’t see his smile. 

The two of you laid there in silence for a few minutes, Harry feeling contented by your slow, even breaths which signaled that you had fallen back asleep. Just as he was starting to doze off again himself, his nightstand began to shake beneath the harsh vibration of your phone. He removed his arm from around you for the second time to lean over and grab it. “It’s Charlotte.”

Suddenly, you sat up and ripped the phone from his hand. He watched with a furrowed brow as you quickly accepted the call and answered with an urgent, “Hey!”

Harry joined you and sat up fully. When he saw the slight worry line form between your eyes, he lifted his left hand and rested it on your back, moving it in slow circles as he tried to piece together your conversation. 

“Yeah, sorry about that…It was late and I was drunk…I know that’s not an excuse…Yes, I will bring an extra bottle of tequila to make up for it…Of course I’ll be there…6:30 right?…Yeah…I’ll text Sarah and apologize…Bye.”

Harry leaned closer and watched you pull up Sarah’s contact before texting her a quick apology for not texting when you got home. “You forgot again?” He tried to keep the accusatory tone out of his voice, but the last time you forgot Sarah and Mitch had managed to concoct an entire theory about the two of you and he didn’t want to deal with it again—he didn’t want you to have to deal with it again. 

“Unfortunately, yes.” You dropped your phone into your lap and looked at him sideways. “You were a little distracting.”

A cheeky smile took over his face. “Oh, so it’s my fault?”

“Yes.” The corner of your mouth twitched as you said it and Harry couldn’t help but lean over and place a kiss on your cheek. 

“How about breakfast?”

“How about a shower?”

Harry’s cheeks flamed at the idea of being with you like that. He felt his cock twitch in his briefs, but also felt a little bit nervous. He always considered showering with someone a very intimate act. Sure, it could be sexy (and often was), but a lot of the time, for him, it was a mostly domestic, mostly romantic thing and his brain couldn’t compute having you that way. 

“I wouldn’t mind that.” He leaned forward and placed his chin on your shoulder. 

You turned your head to look at him and he caught the smirk. “I didn’t mean with you.”

He swallowed the insult and placed a soft kiss to the spot between your neck and shoulder. “Could be fun…” He felt you lean into him involuntarily and he knew he had you. That was one thing you were terrible at: denying him. It was more than clear that you were attracted to him, but that’s all he was really sure of. 

“Fine.” You sighed. “But you better not have fucking two in one shampoo.”

He chuckled against the skin of your neck. “Definitely not.” Another kiss. “C’mon.” Harry climbed off the bed and you followed as he led you to his ensuite. 

He walked over to the large shower, which didn’t have doors or a curtain, just a glass wall enclosing it, and turned on the water, causing the large mirror across from it to start steaming immediately. Harry turned around and saw you standing in front of the closed door with your fingers poised on the top button of the cardigan. He roamed his eyes up and down your body while visions from the night before floated through his mind. 

“Stop looking. Turn around.” Your voice wasn’t quite meek, but it didn’t hold the confidence that it usually did. 

“Why? I’ve seen it already—twice.”

Your eyes went to the floor. “It’s different now.”

He knew you were right. Harry had thought the same thing only a few moments ago, but he didn’t want to take his eyes off of you. 

When you looked at him expectantly, he turned back around towards the shower, closed his eyes and waited patiently, with his arms crossed over his chest. He heard your feet against the tile floor and felt you move around him, before he heard the change in the sound of the water, which signaled you had stepped inside. 

He opened his eyes to find you already completely under the water, getting your hair wet, barely paying him any mind. Without saying anything, he pushed his briefs down his legs and stepped in. 

The shower head was large and square, and hung down directly over the shower, another blessing according to Harry, since it meant that the two of you could be under the water at the same time. You wouldn’t have to deal with those awkward moments where one of you was stuck shivering to the side as the other rushed their time under the warm water. 

When he stepped in, you turned around so your back was to him and your face was no longer getting wet. Harry pushed his wet hair off his face and watched as you tilted your head back into the rush of water. His eyes moved down your body and his jaw tightened. You always looked so good and it was getting harder for him to hold it together. 

You turned around and stuck your face back under the water and rubbed your fingers over your eyes, causing your left over mascara to smudge. When you took your hands down, Harry couldn’t help but chuckle at the raccoon look you had acquired before he stepped out of the shower to fetch his face wash for you. 

“Thanks.” You took the expensive bottle from his hand and washed your makeup off quickly. Harry knew you could probably feel him staring at you the entire time and knew he had been caught (not that he was trying much to hide it) when he saw your shy smile. “Why do you keep doing that?”

“I’ve just never seen you like this before.”

“Wet?”

He smirked. “Oh, no, I’ve seen that plenty of times.” 

You rolled your eyes and threw your arm out with the intent of punching him lightly on the shoulder, but Harry grabbed your hand while it was in the air and pulled you into his chest. You squinted under the rushing water, your long lashes heavy with the weight of whatever drops managed to stick. Harry’s eyes looked over your face as his arms wound around your waist. He was more than aware that you could probably feel him hardening right below your belly button. 

“Never seen my like what?” You asked. 

“I don’t know, just…normal, I guess.”

“There’s nothing normal about me in your shower.”

He wished you would stop doing that. Every time he tried to be sweet with you, you went out of your way to point out that it wasn’t right, that it wasn’t what the two of you were, hinting that it was something the two of you would never be. Every time, it convinced him just a little bit more that he was nothing to you but a nice fuck. It made him feel as though you couldn’t possibly be going through the same kind of transformation he was sure he was—that he was sure he had been going through for a while without even realizing it. 

He jumped away and let out a soft giggle when you tickled your fingers over his sides. 

“C’mon. I hate getting all wrinkly.” You said as you motioned for him to hand you some soap from the shelf next to him. He held in a disappointed sigh and handed you the shampoo. Once you had the appropriate amount, you handed it back to Harry, who did the same and started to wash his own hair. 

He saw you avoiding his eyes as you started running your fingers through your hair before you turned around to start rinsing the soap out. When you were done you turned back around and held out your hand. “Conditioner?”

He dropped the bottle in your hand. “When I said that a shower could be fun…I meant, like, fun.”

“Are you not having fun?” You asked with mock innocence as you ran the conditioner through your hair. 

He blatantly looked your body up and down. “I could be having more fun.” 

“Shut up and hand me the soap—and a new wash cloth. I don’t know what kind of bacteria that loofa harbors.” You faked a shudder and Harry rolled his eyes but did exactly what you said. 

The two of you continued to shower in silence, until you noticed Harry struggling to reach every inch of his back. You sighed and slung your washcloth over your shoulder. “Come here.” You motioned for him with your hand. 

“What?” 

“Come here and let me help you.” You said it as though it was obvious and Harry wanted nothing more than to tease you for the offer that seemed so out of character, but knew if he did, you’d rescind it. He wasn’t going to risk that possibility. 

He took two steps forward before handing you the loofa and turning around. You placed a hesitant hand on his shoulder before moving the blue puff across his skin. The muscles in his back and arm tensed when your left hand drifted down his arm and his breath hitched when he felt your lips on his shoulder blade. 

He turned around quickly and placed his lips on yours. His hands cupped your cheeks while yours held onto his forearms. Harry angled his head so he could slip his tongue between your lips and kiss you deeper. He moaned softly into your mouth as you dropped your hands to his chest so you could move closer to him. 

Without breaking the kiss, he turned you and moved you backwards until your back  was against the tile. You hissed when you felt how cold the tiles were and shivered softly, prompting him to move even closer, pressing his body completely against yours. Your arms slid around his neck and your fingers immediately began working the curls at the bottom, reminding him that he needed a haircut. You did it every time he kissed you, seemingly without even realizing it, but it was something he always found himself thinking about hours later. 

He held back a satisfied smile when you pushed your hips into his. You pulled away just enough to ask, “Having any fun yet?”

Instead of answering, he kissed you—harder than before. He moved his hands from your cheeks to your waist, but didn’t miss the opportunity to brush his fingertips over your breasts. He squeezed at your waist and held your hips back into the wall when you tried to push them into his again. You whined and that time, he didn’t hold back the smile. “Someone’s a little needy this morning.”

You tugged harshly on the hair at the nape of his neck. “Yeah, someone is.”

His smile turned into a smirk, which you made sure to smother with another kiss. Harry was more than aware that he was the needy one that morning—that he was the needy one usually. You were so good at hiding your desire, only ever letting it come out when you were sure Harry was more than into it. Unfortunately, he never seemed to be able to control himself around you. At some point, he always ended up wanting you and he always made it so obvious. He could never hide it and it always made him feel as though it meant you were the one actually in control, which he didn’t exactly hate, but he didn’t love the idea either. 

He moved his hands back up your body, the water allowing them to slip easily over your skin, until his palms were on your breasts. He massaged them before pinching at your nipples softer than he usually did, easily pulling a pleased sigh from you. You pushed his lips further into yours using the hand on the back of his neck as his left hand travelled down to rest on your hip briefly before he brushed his fingers across your inner thigh while his right hand still teased your nipple. 

He didn’t slip his hand between your thighs until he heard the whimper that he wanted. He loved when you needed him. He loved hearing you whimper and ask for something, to hear you say please. He loved feeling your hips buck into his own, or his hand, or his mouth. He loved knowing how badly you wanted him. It was the only thing you ever gave him that proved you wanted him at all. 

He rubbed your clit with the tips of his fingers, causing your grip on his hair to tighten before you dropped your left arm to his bicep and squeezed. You gasped into his mouth as he sped up his fingers and he continued to kiss you. He knew you couldn’t finish standing up—and he knew that fucking in the shower was never as good of an idea as it sounded—so he planned on getting you as close to the edge as he could before taking you back to his bed. 

You moaned when he pushed a finger inside of you—and then another, knowing you could take it. Harry ignored the sting of your nails digging into his skin and continued to pump his fingers in and out of you; he dropped his head to your neck and left open mouthed kisses up and down the space between your jaw and shoulder as moans spilled from your lips. He could feel your lower half start to shake and knew you were stopping yourself from bucking your hips into his hand and when a strangled, and frustrated, moan left you, he knew it was time to stop. 

After he pulled his fingers from you, you pulled at his hair, prompting him to go back to kissing you. You pulled away after only a few moments and placed a firm hand on his chest when he tried to chase you. His jaw tightened when you placed a kiss on his jaw, then his neck, then his collarbone, then his chest; Harry sighed in anticipation when you dropped to your knees and continued to trail kisses down his torso, over his hip, and left the last one right on his pelvic bone. 

Harry was prepared for you to tease him, and so when you immediately took him into your mouth, a harsh curse left his own. “Oh, my…” The words were drawn out and strained, and when he hit the back of your throat, his right hand fell to your hair. He looked down and watched you move your mouth up and down his length, while his hand helped you keep your rhythm. “Fuck, babe.” He sighed when your eyes flickered up to his. 

You reached one of your hands up to massage his balls and you took him even deeper, causing you to flinch and gag. Harry tugged at your hair a bit to get you off of him so that you took a breath before taking him back into your mouth. 

When he hit the back of your throat again, you put your other hand on the back of his thigh and held him there. Harry took the opportunity to buck his hips into your mouth, but it was too much. A groan left his lips as he fell forward and caught himself on the shower wall with his right hand. He stayed like that: left hand on the wall, holding up his weight, his right hand in your hair, guiding you on his cock, his eyes locked on you kneeled beneath him, as you started sucking again. 

“Fuck.” It came out quiet and short and he knew if he allowed you to continue like this that he wouldn’t last very long. Your mouth was warm and the blow job was wet and you were swirling your tongue over his tip in just the right way that his chest was rising and falling rapidly and his breaths were coming out short. 

Harry pushed himself off the wall and stepped away from you, and had the water off in less than a second. He helped you up from your knees before leading you out of the shower. Harry pulled a towel for you down from its shelf and as he slung it around your shoulders, placed a few soft but urgent kisses to your lips. You grabbed the ends and, when you had it wrapped tightly around you, he bent down and wrapped his arms around your legs, lifting you up and throwing you over his shoulder without warning. 

“Harry!” You squeaked as he took you from the bathroom to his bed. 

He tossed you down on the comforter and bit back his smirk when you immediately let the towel fall open, exposing all of yourself to him. Harry let his eyes wander over your skin as he reached his right hand forward and dipped his fingers in your center and collected some of your wetness before dragging his fingers up to your clit. He rubbed the very tip of his finger over the small mound in slow circles and watched your eyes flutter shut. He noticed the way your left hand gripped at the comforter bunched up next to your hip and pushed one finger into you, causing you to release a sigh. He moved the single finger at an agonizing pace, curling it up slowly each time it was inside. He could see the need on your face. Harry knew you wanted more; your brow furrowed as you sucked a breath in through your teeth and your hips were starting to rock with the movement of his finger. Without stopping the movement, he leaned over you and placed his left hand next to your head to hold himself up. He placed a delicate kiss to your lips. “Want it?”

You nodded and kissed him again. For a second, he thought of making you ask, but decided against it when he thought of how eager you had been to suck him off in the shower. 

Harry stopped fingering you and climbed on the bed. You opened your legs wider to make room for him and he grabbed onto the underside of your thigh as he settled himself at your center. He pushed in without warning, but slowly, pulling a drawn out whine from you.  He hooked your right leg over his shoulder and then your left over his other, before he leaned forward and sunk into you. Harry felt your hand on his arm immediately, as your face twisted in pleasure. He released a breathy moan and began to thrust into you slowly. The angle was better than any before it. He bottomed out every time he pushed inside and found it extremely hard to hold back his moans. 

“Fuck.” He sighed. He pushed into you again, a little harder and a little deeper—and he heard it. It sounded like a wince, and he felt your grip on his arm tighten. He pulled out slightly and searched the expression on your face. “Alright?”

You nodded. “Keep going.” 

Harry pushed into you again, not as hard and you seemed okay. You let out a breathy pant and he cursed. He wanted to kiss you so badly, but the position was too good and he loved seeing the way your lips formed a small ‘O’ with every few thrusts. 

“Fucking hell…” It came out hushed and urgent. Harry’s brow furrowed before he snapped his hips into yours. He felt your nails sink into the skin of his forearm. 

“Okay,” your voice was small. “Too much.” Harry stopped immediately, his cock still buried inside of you. Your eyes met his. “Too deep.” You were a little breathless and your brows were still furrowed in what he assumed was slight pain. 

He didn’t mean to hurt you and he was sure you knew that, but he whispered an apology anyway before easing out of you until just his tip was inside. He released your legs from his shoulders and lowered himself onto his elbows so your chests were pressed together. He kissed you softly and nudged his nose against yours. Harry kissed your jaw as you rested your hands on his shoulders and trailed your nails over his skin, causing goosebumps to blossom down his arms. 

“Can I?” His lips hovered right below your ear. 

“Please.”

“Oh…fuck.” Harry sunk back into you. “Feel better, baby?” He asked in a breathy whisper. 

“Feels good.” 

“Yeah?” He kissed the spot right below your ear as he opened his palms and rested his hands at the top of your head. 

“Fuck, Harry.” Your voice was strained as he kept his slow pace. 

He already felt his orgasm building and blamed the head you had given him in the shower. He didn’t want to finish yet, especially since you had yet to orgasm, but he wasn’t sure how much longer he could last at this pace (which you seemed to love) and with you dragging your nails over his skin and curing his name every few seconds. 

“Fuck, baby, I want you to come.” It was his way of hinting that he was struggling and he hoped you would understand it. 

You took your hand from his arm and pushed it down between your bodies, causing Harry to hold himself up a bit more so you could nestle your fingers between your legs. He put all his eight onto his left arm and held onto your jaw with his right, making sure you were looking at him, in order to give you more room. You rubbed light circles around your clit as Harry continued to move his cock inside of you. Your breaths were growing shorter and you were having trouble keeping your eyes on his. 

“Fuck…fuck…fuck.” Your hips started to buck and Harry rested his forehead on yours. “I-I’m coming.” Your voice was desperate. Harry sped up the movement of his hips and swore he would last until you were completely finished. 

He felt your body start to shake under him as more curses spilled from your lips and your free hand squeezed his shoulder. When you removed your hand from your clit and had mostly come down, Harry dropped his chest onto yours and thrusted into quickly. He let you pull him in for a kiss and sighed when you bit onto his lip. 

“Oh, my god.” He groaned when you wrapped your legs around his waist. It let him reach just a little deeper, just enough to send him over the edge. “Holy fuck.” He pulled out quickly and dropped his hand to his cock, jerking himself off until he finished all over your folds. He heard you gasp but didn’t think anything of it. 

He heaved a breathless sigh when he finished completely before looking up at your face. “What?”

“You’re clean, right? Please tell me your clean.” 

His brow furrowed in confusion before he looked down and then at his hand and realized he hadn’t worn a condom. “Shit.”

“I swear to fucking god, you better be clean.”

Harry chuckled softly and ignored your glare in response. “Relax. It’s fine.”

“It’ll be fine if you tell me I have nothing to worry about—and mean it.”

He tugged the towel from under you and wiped the cum off his hand and then cleaned himself up. “You’ve got nothing to worry about, love. I got tested before we started fucking. Relax.”

You let out a breath. “Good.” When you laid back down on the bed, he leaned forward and pinched the skin at your anke. 

“Hey! What about you? I’d like a bit of reassurance as well!”

“Before the bartender—he used a condom. I’m fine.”

Harry grimaced at the idea of you fucking that blond prick and hoped you didn’t notice. You pushed yourself off the bed and grabbed the towel from Harry on your way to the bathroom. 

“My hair is going to be a mess when it dries.” He heard your complaint from where he was standing, searching his drawer for a pair of boxer briefs. 

“It was worth it though, right?” 

“Eh…” 

Harry marched over to the bathroom, boxers in his fist and poked his head through the door. “Excuse me? I must of misheard. It sounded like you were unsure?”

You smiled when you heard his playful tone. “I’m kidding. It was great.” You leaned in a kissed him quickly. He tried to hide his surprise again. You were apparently full of surprises this morning. 

“Stay for breakfast.”

“I really shouldn’t.” Just when he thought he was getting somewhere.

“You don’t want to?”

“It’s not that. I just have a lot of running around to do before Charlotte’s tonight and it’s already, like, twelve.” 

“C’mon, stay. You haven’t eaten since yesterday.”

You smirked. “Awh, you care about my wellbeing.”

He scoffed. “Forget it.” He waved his hand at you before backing away from the door. 

Right after he had pulled his briefs up his hips, you wrapped your arms around his waist from behind. “I can do toast. But only quick toast.”

He dropped his hands over yours. “I can do toast.” You dropped your hands from his waist and he pulled a t-shirt from the stack on top of his dresser and tossed it to you. 

He bit back a smile when he saw how it looked on you. 

You were confusing him this morning. One second, you seemed to against all of it: the cuddling, the showering, the staying. The next second, you were giving him sweet kisses, moving closer to him, and giving in. He wanted answers, but he knew better than to ask any questions. He was terrified of popping the small bubble the two of you had seemed to create. 

He dreaded the idea of thinking about what could happen later that night. Apparently, the two of you didn’t do well around your friends, or around other people at all. He had a feeling something bad would happen, that whatever was going on between the two of you that morning would be erased and you would go back to hating him. It made him feel queasy—and he knew exactly why. 

Harry was pretty sure he liked you; liked you in the way that he liked a girl when he was fifteen (meaning most of it was probably to blame on hormones but his feelings most likely had to do with your personality as well). He didn’t think he would label them as feelings, which was a word that held way too much emotional weight, but he definitely wouldn’t say he hated you anymore. Sure, there were moments, like last night, where he wanted to kill you and disliked you more than anything in that moment, but the desire to be cruel to you was gone. He could definitely still hurt you if he tried, but he didn’t exactly want to try anymore. 

Once you two were in the kitchen, you took a spot at the island while Harry went straight to his espresso machine. “Coffee? Tea?”

“No thanks. I was going to grab a cappuccino while running errands for Charlotte.”

“I can make you one, if you want.” He glanced back at you quickly as he pulled out four pieces of bread before dropping them into his toaster. 

“Nah, it’s fine.” You shook your head and dropped your phone down on the island. 

Harry turned to his fridge and whistled as he pulled out anything he could possibly think one could put on toast: avocado, butter, jam, and marmite. He was busy getting you a glass of water when the toaster dinged. 

“Plates?” You asked as you stood up from your spot at the counter. 

“Right above the toaster.” He placed your water and his self-made americano in front of two seats at the island while you plated up the toast. 

You both sat down and began to assemble your lunches. “Have you got everything for your costume?” He asked. 

“Yeah, but it took me two and a half weeks to find it all. The amount of time I spent  combing through vintage shops both around London and online was ridiculous, but I’ve managed to get it almost exact.”

“I’m excited to see Sarah’s.” 

“Charlotte’s really committing. She’s dying her hair red again.” Harry chuckled before taking a bite of his toast. “Are we the only ones doing a group costume?”

He shrugged. “Probably. We’re the only ones annoying enough to pull it off.”

“I think you mean Charlotte’s the only one with friends who’ll do whatever she says.” You had finished your first piece when you caught the time on Harry’s stove. “Fuck, It’s already almost one.”

“I thought you didn’t have to be at Charlotte’s until half six?” 

“Yeah, but she requested that we arrive in costume to take pictures before and I have to go to the supermarket, the liquor store, and find somewhere to get huge plastic spiders.”

“She’s really got you two whipped, huh?” 

“Like I said, she’s the kind of person you can never say no to. She’s too nice.” You picked up your phone and checked the distance between your apartment and Harry’s house. “Ugh, fuck you for living so far.”

Harry laughed warmly. “My deepest apologies.” He leaned over to make sure that you weren’t exaggerating—and you weren’t. It was a forty-five minute tube ride and a thirty-six minute drive. 

“If I go home and change, I’ll be way behind schedule.” 

“You’ve got a schedule?”

“Yes, I do. I like being timely.”

He snorted. “You do not, you’re fucking late to everything.”

“I said that I liked being timely, not that I was good at it.”

“You can just wear something of mine.” He offered before taking another bite of his toast. He felt his heart pick up for just a second at the idea of you wearing something of his out in public. 

You looked him up and down. “I don’t think that would work out very well.”

“Take a shirt, at least. That was you’re not running around the shops in heels and a bra on a bloody Saturday afternoon.”

You seemed to turn it over in your mind for a moment and he anxiously awaited your response. “I guess you’re right.”

“‘Course, I am.” He got up from the chair and grabbed his coffee. “C’mon, love.”

He lead you upstairs and placed his mug on his night stand before entering his closet. When he saw that you were simply standing in the middle of his room, he waved you in. On your way, you grabbed your trousers, which had thankfully not wrinkled, and your corset. Your blazer was still on the floor of his entryway. 

“Keep the t-shirt you’ve got on, but it’s a bit cold so you’re gonna need a jumper.” He talked to himself as he stared at the clothes in front of him. His brow was furrowed and he had his bottom lip pulled between his thumb and forefinger in contemplation. When he found what he was looking for, his expression brightened. He pulled the Marc Jacobs jumper from its hanger and held it up to his chest before turning around and showing it to you. “This is perfect for you.”

“My life is crap.” You sent him a mock-sweet smile. “How sweet of you.” He held it out to you and you pulled it from his hands a little to aggressively. He watched with his hands on his hips as you pulled it over your head. It was big, which he figured would be the case and your hands went missing in the sleeves. 

When you went to pull on your pants, his brow furrowed again. “No, knickers.”

You looked up at him as if he was crazy. “Ew, no. Those things are gross.” You tucked the t-shirt into your trousers and fastened the buttons around your waist. 

“You’ve got to fix that.” Harry said and pointed to the jumper. 

“Thanks, Cap.” You rolled your eyes before tucking the side of the soft material at your right hip. 

Harry stepped close to you. “Let me. You don’t roll properly.” He ignored your remark about him being annoying and a liar as he grabbed your arm and started to roll the sleeve up. When he finished the other one, he took a step back and admired his work. “Brilliant.”

“You’re so fucking dramatic.” You said as you walked out of the closet and started making your way down the stairs. 

Harry grabbed his coffee, which was now almost cold, and your heels, which you had walked right past, and followed you. 

He found you standing at the entryway, throwing your hair up in a ponytail. He held your shoes out to you and you thanked him before putting them down and stepping into them. “Do you mind if I get my blazer and stuff another day? My bag isn’t big enough to fit it all and I don’t feel like carrying it around.” 

“‘Course.”

“Great. Okay, I have to go. Thanks for the clothes, I swear I’ll give them back.”

Harry shrugged. “Don’t have to.”

“Yeah, I do. This shit is expensive.”

“I could just buy another.”

“Shut up.” You stepped forward and placed a quick kiss to his lips, giving him almost no time to kiss you back. “Bye.”

“Bye, love.” The door was closed before he could get the last word out. 

You shoved open the door to your studio and immediately dropped two new tote bags filled with alcohol, snack and decorations on the wood floor with a huff. You hurriedly kicked off your heels and sighed in relief when they relaxed on the cold floor, the aching muscles begging for some sort of relief. You rolled each ankle and cursed the universe because your costume, which you would end up in within the next hour and a half, called for another pair of heels. 

After your phone was on the charger, you went to the bathroom and turned on the shower. While the water heated up, you got undressed, leaving your pants on the floor, but carefully laid Harry’s sweatshirt and t-shirt on your bed. 

As much as you didn’t want to, you spent your time in the shower thinking about Harry. The whole morning was bizarre, but it also felt weirdly natural—not normal, but effortless. You were definitely comfortable with him and enjoyed every second of it, which was beyond difficult for you to admit. You knew that if you hadn’t had to run a million errands for Charlotte, you would’ve stayed there much longer, because honestly, you didn’t really want to leave. 

You were growing to like him and could maybe see the two of you being friends again. Obviously, for that to happen, the two of you would have to stop fucking and you weren’t sure you were ready for it to end yet. You found yourself stuck in this weird place now, but it wasn’t exactly a bad place, just one filled with a lot of uncertainty. You weren’t ready to deal with said uncertainty, so you were going to ignore and pretend like nothing had changed. Harry wasn’t someone you were exactly fond of, but someone that you enjoyed having sex with. 

Once you were out of the shower, you threw on your usual men’s button up and sat yourself on the floor in front of your large mirror and curled your hair. You made sure they were all going away from your face and really focused on the bottom since the top of your head would be covered by a beret. Then, you did your makeup, making sure to place some blush pink shadow on your lids and to be a bit heavy handed with the blush. 

You pulled on your hot pink, straight leg, high waisted trousers, which you had to hem slightly the day before. The sweater you found wasn’t exact, but the colors were the same. It was a berry red color, with pink, abstract blotches covering the front of it. You also had to cut the sleeves and roll them up so the style matched, but still prided yourself on finding something so similar to the original. You wrapped the pink and red striped, silky scarf around your neck, letting the long pieces rest down the front of your sweater. Lastly, you popped on the pink beret, making sure to bobby pin it in place, and then tacked on a pair of tiny heart earrings. After you shoved your feet into your maroon colored heels boots, you turned and looked in the mirror. 

You hummed in satisfaction and smiled. “I think Jackie Burkhart would approve.” 

You shivered as Charlotte’s voice came through the intercom. “The door’s open when you get up here.”

When you entered Charlotte’s apartment, her back was to you and she was standing on her coffee table, which she had dragged over to where her bookshelves were. She was spreading fake cobwebs across the wood and trinkets. “Hi!” She called as she turned around to face you. 

You jumped when you saw what was on her face. “I had sex?” You started to laugh. “What…why…you have…” You pointed to your own face, which wore a confused yet amused expression. 

“Have you not seen that episode?” Her face was completely straight. 

“I’m sure I have…just forgot, I guess.” You assumed she was wearing Donna’s outfit from that specific video: bright blue trousers, a magenta shirt, and a blue shawl. You shrugged off your coat and placed it on the bed of the guest room at Charlotte’s direction. You also pulled off your boots since your feet needed some rest before you wore heels again for another few hours. 

Afterwards, you went to the kitchen area of the open floor plan apartment and started to unload the tote bags you had brought with you. “Everyone’s coming at 8:30 right?” You asked as you brought a handful of plastic spiders over to where Charlotte was still working on the bookshelves. 

“Yeah, a few people might be a little early, though, like the boys.” She said as she pointed to the spiders and then at the fireplace next to her. You already knew where she wanted them to go since she had sent you plenty go pictures of her decor inspo, but she apparently didn’t have much faith in you to remember. 

You started to stick the spiders on the protruding wall, around her fireplace and tv which hung over it and then realized that someone was missing. “Where’s Sarah?”

“Oh, she’s probably just running late.” Charlotte’s voice was a little off, it was a little too high, which usually indicated that something with her wasn’t exactly right, but you knew she was stressed and figured Sarah being late wasn’t helping the cause. 

Half an hour of decorating later and Sarah still hadn’t arrived. As you spread more web over the hallway where the bathroom was located, you wondered aloud where she could possibly be. “I’m gonna text her.”

“No!” Charlotte’s protest made you jump. 

You took a peek around the corner and saw her walked swiftly towards you. “Is there something wrong? Are you and Sarah fighting or something? Is she still coming?”

 “No, we’re not fighting.”

“Then what is it?”

Charlotte placed her hands on your shoulders. “I need to say something…and I need you to make it easy and not deny it.”

You were even more confused. “What would I…deny what?”

“I know you and Harry are having sex—and I’m pretty sure it’s just sex considering the way you two still treat one another, but I know.”

You pushed her hands off your shoulders. “We’re not having sex.”

“You promised not to deny it.” 

“Uh, no. I didn’t. And I’m going to deny it because it isn’t true.”

Charlotte sighed again, but this time in annoyance. “Look, I know the night he made the roast that you stayed—for a while, like, a long while. And I know that last night you went to his after drinks and you stayed. Like, you stayed until this morning.”

You shook your head and ignored the panic that was beginning to rattle your chest. “No, I didn’t. Why would I? I admit I stayed a little late after dinner that night but it was because he wanted to apologize and last night…I went home.”

“You’re absolutely insufferable.” Charlotte muttered as she pulled her phone from where she had it stuffed in her bra. She tapped and swiped over her screen a few times before holding it in front of your face. You felt your cheeks heat when you saw your contact photo hovering over a specific spot on the map: Charlotte’s building. 

“When—h-how did you?” You felt like a fucking idiot.

“A few months ago, the night you and I got drinks and got absolutely blitzed. You insisted on bloody walking home because you’re insane so I made you give me your location for your safety.”

“And now you use it to spy?”

She locked her phone and rolled her eyes before shoving it back into the spot in her bra. “”No. I hadn’t checked it until after Harry’s when neither of us had heard from you. I remembered I had it and I was worried so I checked. Honestly, I didn’t think anything of it until it was an hour later and you were still there. I thought it was a bit odd but didn’t think you two were…doing each other until Sarah brought it up!”

“And?” Your brows raised. 

“And nothing.” She crossed her arms. “I didn’t tell her because it’s not really any of my business. If you want her to know, you’ll tell her. Also, I didn’t really know and I don’t gossip about my friends.”

“Well, you don’t really know now. Nothing happened.”

“You’ve been caught, (Y/N). Stop trying to cover it up.” Charlotte placed her hands on her hips and sent you an intimidating stare. 

“I’m not—“

“You are! I checked your location last night because I was worried about you again and you were there. I also checked this morning to make sure you were home and not in a ditch somewhere and you were still there! I couldn’t believe it. Then I laughed because it made complete sense! There’s so much…” She gestured her hands wilding in between the two you. “Shit between the two of you, you’ve got to resolve it somehow.”

You sighed in defeat and leaned back onto the wall of the hallway. “Are you mad?”

“God, no.” She waved a hand at you. “I mean, I’m a bit upset that you didn’t feel like you could tell me but I get it. He’s Harry and you’re you and we’re all friends and it could potentially be weird. I always said he was your type, though. I think I always thought something would happen at some point.” She gave a nonchalant shrug and you could see that she genuinely wasn’t angry with you in the slightest. “I’m a bit impressed too. If I didn’t have your location, I probably would’ve never known. The fight last night looked so real.”

“Oh, it was.” Her eyebrows raised. “We just..worked it out after.”

She laughed loudly. “I bet you fucking did. God, I cannot wait to hear about everything. I feel so out of the loop.” She pushed herself off the wall and moved back down the hallway, but stopped short. 

“Charlotte, are you—“ Your voice died in your throat when you saw Sarah standing a few feet from the mouth of the hallway���blond wig balancing on her head, blender in her arm, a beyond pissed off expression on her face—with the door still open behind her. 

“Sarah, hey! I see you went with drunk Kitty after all! Probably a good choice.” Charlotte tried her best to ease the tension, but it remained beyond thick. 

Sarah took a deep breath, a sure sign that she was about to put you in your place. You held up your hand to stop her. “Maybe, I don’t know, just…put the blender down before you start yelling at me. Just in case, you know, you feel like throwing it. I rather you…not.”

Sarah put the blender on the floor very calmly—and then let loose. “I cannot believe you fucking lied to me—more than once! I explicity asked you if there was something going on between the two of you and you looked me dead in the eyes and fucking lied. Why would you do that? Do you not trust me? That’s bullshit. It’s utter bullshit!” She threw her hands up in the air. “All this supposed hatred you had for him—and you’re fucking him? I get once, but twice? And you still treat him like garbage? What is that? Is all this fighting a joke? Have you been making all of us bloody miserable as some kind of game? I don’t understand.” Somehow all of it had become your fault, and then: “I can’t believe you would take advantage of our friendship like that. Are we even friends? Because it doesn’t really feel like it when all you do is lie.”

The shock was evident on your face. You looked over at Charlotte who’s expression mirrored yours, but her brow was furrowed in confusion. “What the fuck are trying to imply right now?” You asked. 

Before Sarah could answer, Charlotte stepped in. “How did you even get in? I didn’t buzz you up.”

“What does that even matter right now? Someone was leaving when I got here and you always leave the door unlocked when you have people over.”

“It matters because what kind of person doesn’t even announce their arrival? You were eavesdropping on a conversation that wasn’t meant for you and you’re mad?”

“Yeah, you both fucking lied to me.”

You spoke up. “We didn’t lie. It was none of your business so we didn’t tell you. I’m entitled to my fucking privacy.”

“Not when it comes to dating one of my friends.” She bit back. 

“But you and Mitch get all the privacy you want? Is that how the hypocrisy is working here?” Charlotte put on a look of mock confusion and looked between the both of you. “Because we were all friends when you and Mitch started dating. Him and Harry are best friends and as I recall, he respected your privacy as a couple.”

You took a step forward. “We’re not a couple, just to clarify.”

The look on Sarah’s face showed that Charlotte had completely nailed her. A beat passed before Charlotte walked over to the kitchen island, leaving you and Sarah just staring at one another. She grabbed a bag of chips and a bowl before walking back over and stopping in front of Sarah. “Look, you want to be a bitch right now? Fine. But at least fill up some bowls while you do it.” 

Sarah silently took the items from her hands. Charlotte patted her on the shoulder before she turned around and motioned you back towards the living room where she was hanging mini witch hats from the ceiling. 

As you helped her attach the strings to the top and hang them, you couldn’t stop glancing over at Sarah every few minutes. In all the time the two of you had been friends, you had never had a fight this bad—you had never had a fight at all, actually. Sure, you’ve had petty arguments about being late, cancelling plans last minute, making dumb choices while drunk, but they always ended in laughing. They were always forgotten twenty minutes later because they didn’t really matter. This was the first time that it seemed to matter—and you couldn’t believe it was Harry. 

Charlotte had a point; Sarah was kind of being a hypocrite. There seemed to be no issue when they started dating. No one seemed to bat an eye or demand that they share their business. Charlotte was giving you the same courtesy, but Sarah was somewhat of a control freak, which you knew—so were you. It was one of the shared qualities between the two of you that allowed you to understand each other so well. You often knew where each other’s frustrations came from, but it came from the same place for both of you. What surprised you was how entitled she seemed to feel to your private business. Part of you understood that she was angry because she was supposed to be your best friend, and you usually told her about everything—every guy, every date, every hookup, every mistake, but you had kept this from her. That being said, being best friends didn’t mean you were obligated to tell her everything. The whole point of being best friends was wanting to tell that person everything. Sarah hadn’t really done much to make you want to tell her about Harry. She also hadn’t done very much to make you feel as though you could. 

She freaked out at just the idea of it. Yes, her freakout was mostly because it meant that you were keeping it from her—and you were, which was why you really couldn’t tell her. She was refusing to acknowledge that she wasn’t exactly being best friend she was supposed to be. Then there was the comment about taking advantage of her friendship, as if you had gotten close to her just to get to Harry, or like sleeping with Harry meant stepping on her. Or the accusation of you lying about not liking Harry. Or the part where she seemed to flip on you completely and accused you of being terrible to Harry, when she knows everything he’s said and done to you. You were almost sure that she didn’t mean any of it and that it was just said in the heat of her anger, but she had a lot to apologize for when the time came. If the time came. 

After the hats were hung, you two moved to Charlotte’s overflowing bar cart. “Okay, just the bat garland and the orange fairy lights left and then I think we’re done.” She handed you the garland that was meant to be wrapped around the cart and hung under the island and she took the lights. Before she walked away, she turned around and looked at Sarah who was pouring dips into small bowls. “She’ll get over it once she gets over herself. I think she’s just upset because you didn’t tell her, but she said a lot she shouldn’t have.”

“I can hear you.” Sarah said from the kitchen. 

“Don’t really give a shit.” Charlotte said back. She squeezed your shoulder before going to hang the lights. 

Forty minutes later, all the preparation was done and the buzzer of Charlotte’s apartment was ringing. She pushed herself up from where she sat on the couch next to you. “Must be the boys.” On her way to answer it, she stopped at the island where Sarah was already sipping on a margarita. “I shouldn’t have to say this, but you’re not going to say a single word about (Y/N) and Harry. Not even to Mitch.” Charlotte didn’t wait for her answer and placed her finger on the button. “Hi!” 

“It’s us!” Harry’s voice was clear. 

“Come on up! It’s open!” 

“I’m going to the bathroom.” Sarah mumbled before disappearing down the hall. 

You stood up and walked over the island. You picked a potato chip from one of the bowls and popped in your mouth as Charlotte turned to you and put her hands on her hips. 

“She’s so [dramatic].” Charlotte mocked her quietly and you bit back a smile. Thank god Charlotte was on your side, or else the night would have been beyond insufferable. 

Charlotte leaned over, turned the knob and opened the door when she heard a bunch of loud male voices tumbling down her hallway. Adam, Harry, and Mitch waltzed right through the doorway, big goofy smiles plastered on all their faces as they talked about some song they had listened to on the way there. 

Your eyes immediately caught Mitch’s sunglasses: tan aviators. Your brow furrowed in confusion—then you caught sight of Harry’s hair. The curls hung down across his forehead. You looked back and forth between them and felt as if you had missed something. 

Charlotte finally spoke. “Mitch…aren’t you supposed to be Kelso?”

“No, I’m Hyde.” He looked at her like she was an idiot. 

“Yes. I can see that. You’re wearing the glasses—but I thought we decided in the group chat that because of your hair…you’d be Kelso.”

“We did.”

“Okay.” She nodded slowly. “But you’re Hyde.”

“Yeah.” Charlotte looked at him expectantly. The boys had obviously pregamed. “[Oh], yeah. Uh, having a couple costume with (Y/N) just felt wrong.” He looked over at you. “No offense. You’d probably make a great girlfriend, but I’m already taken, obviously. So I asked Harry to switch.”

Charlotte looked as though she would burst. “So…(Y/N) is Jackie and Harry’s Kelso.” You both looked Harry up and down. He was wearing blue, flare jeans, converse, and a white long-sleeve top that dipped into a slight “V”. There were striped around the neckline and then embroidered flowers outlining the stripes. He looked very seventies—very Kelso. “I don’t think tonight could get [any] better.”

Of course, that was the moment Sarah reentered the room. She threw her hands up in the air. “Un-bloody-believable.” She went back behind the island and grabbed her drink. 

“Well, hello to you too.” Adam waved. He looked like such a nerd in his button up and jeans. 

Charlotte pulled Mitch into a hug. “Why don’t you go and put her in a better mood. Bring her back without the stick up her bum, yeah?” Mitch obviously didn’t understand what was going on, but nodded at her before making his way over to his girlfriend. He gave you a high five and a nod on his way. 

As Adam and Charlotte greeted one another, you avoided looking at Harry. He was staring at you as if he had expected you to attack him in a hug or worse, kiss him. You obviously couldn’t do either of those things and honestly, with Sarah in the room, you didn’t want to be around him at all. Adam pulled you into a hug before moving to the snacks. When Charlotte wrapped her arms around Harry, you pointed your thumb back in the direction of where her iPad rested on the coffee table. “I’m gonna go over the playlist one last time. Just wan to make sure we didn’t forget anything.”

You saw the disappointed look she gave you, but you ignored it. You turned around and went to sit back on the couch. Everyone’s voices became a hum in the background as you scrolled down the playlist Charlotte had created, but the whole group chat (and you) had contributed to. You were about to add Troye Sivan’s “STUD” when a hand adorned with rings set a glass down in front of you. 

“You really hate saying hi to me, don’t you?” Harry asked as he sat down next to you. He sat so close that his thigh was touching yours. 

“No…” You searched for one of your favorite Pop Smoke songs and tried to ignore the buzzing in your chest. 

“Then what’s with the cold shoulder?”

You glanced up at him. “There’s no cold shoulder.”

“Then why didn’t you say hi?” He nudged his shoulder into yours. 

You sighed in slight annoyance. “Why would I?”

He looked a little taken aback. “I don’t know…well, because—“

“Because of last night? This morning?” You scoffed. “C’mon, Harry. You’re not stupid. Not as smart as me, but not stupid.”

“Just because no one knows, doesn’t mean you can’t be nice to me.” He fidgeted in his place.

“I can’t be nice to you because I don’t like.” You pressed shuffle on the playlist and stood up. You grabbed the glass he had brought you. “Thanks for the drink.” As you walked away, you were immediately filled with guilt. You closed your eyes and let out a breath as you walked to where everyone else was around the island. You ignored Sarah’s stare and tried to convince yourself that you couldn’t have hurt Harry’s feelings as much as you were sure you did. You didn’t want to; you didn’t even realize you were doing it until after it had all come out, but your night had already kind of gone to shit and he was nagging you about your lack of greeting. He had chosen the wrong moment to push your buttons. He thought they didn’t know, but you suddenly felt this intense pressure as though Sarah and Charlotte’s attention was laser focused on you—and now, you were terrified that Mitch and Adam could read it all over you. He had simply chosen the wrong moment.

He didn’t understand it. He had a feeling that this would happen, that you would be a completely different person tonight, the version of you he didn’t particularly like, but it was immediate and it had hurt. 

As more guests began filing in, he stood up from the couch and figured that she should be sociable, but decided that it would take a bit more alcohol for him to do so. He pulled Charlotte’s boyfriend into a hug when he met him at the bar before he poured a bit more tequila over his ice. Instead of mingling, Harry leaned on the wall next to the cart and immediately started looking for you without even thinking. He found you at the end of the island, closest to the door, next to Charlotte and talking to a friend of their’s named Danny. 

You looked gorgeous. Your pants looked great on you and he couldn’t believe he had never seen you in a beret before. He decided that pink was his favorite color on you. Harry wanted to talk to you. He wanted to be [alone] with you, but that wasn’t exactly an option. There were too many people around, your friends were already onto the two of you, and for whatever reason, you wanted nothing to do with him. He hoped that the tequila would warm you up enough to thaw your heart just a little. All he wanted was for you to pay attention to him, for you to acknowledge him. He wanted a smile from across the room, or an arm on his shoulder as you passed him, a wink when no one was paying you two any attention. He wanted to know that the person he spent last night and the morning with was still there. 

Harry pushed himself off the wall when he saw Jeff walk in dressed as Red Foreman, bald cap and all. He let out a laugh when he reached him and pulled him into a hug. “You look great, man.” 

“You look like yourself.” Jeff commented—and he wasn’t exactly wrong. He lowered his voice. “Have you talked to her yet?”

Harry gave him a look that told him to shut up. “No, I haven’t.” The lie felt better than telling Jeff he got blown off. 

“Let me know if she bites your head off when you do.” Jeff hit him in the shoulder before walking around him and going to greet Charlotte. 

Harry knew that he probably shouldn’t have said anything to Jeff, but he was going insane earlier after you had left and he needed someone to talk to. He couldn’t talk to Mitch for obvious reasons—he couldn’t talk to anyone in the band, for those same reasons. Gemma would’ve asked for too many details, which if he had to divulge, would end in her calling him an asshole and hanging up on him for the way he treated you. There was no way he was talking about you to his mom. 

Jeff wasn’t as surprised as Harry thought he would be. He told Harry that even though he didn’t know you at all, when you came to ask about the interview, he could tell there was something between the two of you. He knew that you guys didn’t get along. Harry had gone on rants about how awful you were before, but Jeff saw how he acted with you at the studio. For a second, Jeff even thought there were two of you because the way Harry talked about you didn’t really match up with the way he was [acting] with you that day. Harry needed his advice on how to handle tonight, since it seemed as though you two were in some indefinable territory, and all Jeff had to offer was: “Just don’t piss her off and you should be fine.” 

And yet, somehow, he had managed to do just that. 

Harry turned to his left and went to the island where he joined Sarah and Mitch in front of the snack. “There’s gonna be pizza, right?” Mitch asked Harry before popping a pretzel into his mouth. 

Harry nodded. “I asked them to deliver it at 9:30. Shouldn’t be too long now.”

“Thank god. If I don’t eat something soon, Sarah’s going to have to drag me home by my feet.”

Harry looked down at Sarah, who had gone full Kitty and started drinking straight from the blender through a straw. “Mate, you might be dragging her home.”  He nudged her wish his elbow but she ignored him. “Hey, having fun yet?” There was a playful tone in his voice, but there was nothing playful about the eyeball he received in return. Harry sent Mitch a questioning look and he simply shrugged. “Alright…”

Harry grabbed a chip and tossed it into his mouth. Mitch started talking to Sarah, or trying to at least, and so Harry moved his attention to the party-goers in front of him. He knew most of the people there; the only ones knew to him where Charlotte’s friends from school and some of her boyfriend’s friends, but he had still made an effort to talk to them and get to know them the tiniest bit. 

His eyes land on you, where you’re tucked into the corner, drink cradled into your chest, talking to some guy Harry knew to be Charlotte’s mate from school. Just as he was about to look away, your eyes locked on his. For a second, the two of you stood there, staring at one another, neither of your faces revealing anything. When Harry finally sent you a warm smile, you looked away and seemed to tune back into whatever conversation you had been having.

Harry’s shoulders sagged in both disappointment and frustration. He shouldn’t have been letting it bother him. He knew going into tonight that it couldn’t be like this morning, but he didn’t think you two would completely revert back to the beginning—at least he had hoped that wouldn’t happen. 

He turned to Sarah. “You alright?” 

“I will be when this night is forgotten.” She picked up her blender with two hands and walked away. Him and Mitch watched her settle herself next to Danny and Jeff and join in on their conversation. 

“What’s her deal?” Harry asked. 

Mitch took a swig of his beer and shrugged again. “I don’t know, she keeps saying ‘nothing’ but she’s lying. All three of them are acting weird tonight.” 

“What do you mean? All three?”

“The girls!” Mitch gestured to the room, where the three of you were dispersed throughout. “They’re all being fucking weird.”

“I don’t understand.” Harry was genuinely confused. Apart from Sarah’s pissy mood, everything seemed fine. Charlotte was her usual happy self and you were…well, the version of you that took over whenever Harry was around. 

“They won’t go near each other. We’re usually having to pull them apart and they’ve barely spoken two words to one another since we got here.”

“So you’re saying we’ve missed something.” Harry’s brow furrowed as he looked from Sarah to you and then to Charlotte. He realized then that Mitch was right. Usually, the three of you would have picked a spot for the night and ignored everyone else’s existence. 

“Yeah, I think we did.”

Harry didn’t like the idea of there being fights between his friends. “Or maybe Sarah’s wig is on just a little too tight.” Harry took a sip of his drink and Mitch laughed.  

Suddenly, someone’s arm was on Harry’s shoulder and out of the corner of his eye, he could see the red hair. “So, boys, how’s it goin?” Charlotte was definitely tipsy. They could always tell because her smile was immovable and her eyes were bright. 

“What’s goin’ on between you and the others?” Mitch asked immediately and Harry shot him a look. If there was some kind of drama, now was definitely not the time to bring it up or hash it out. 

Charlotte’s brow furrowed in confusion. “What are you talking about?”

“Mitch thinks there’s some kind of drama between the three of you. Like, the girls.”

“There’s no drama. I was just with (Y/N) getting another drink.”

“But you haven’t been with Sarah.” Mitch pointed out. 

Sarah smiled at him, but Harry sensed it wasn’t entirely genuine. “Well, that’s on Sarah. She’s more than welcome to hangout with us.” 

“So there is something wrong.” Mitch pointed. 

“No, someone is wrong.” Charlotte corrected. The took a deep breath and sighed. “On that note, I’ll leave you two to theorize. Seems to be a new theme in this group.” She said the last part under her breath but Harry caught it. 

He was sure that Sarah must’ve accused you of lying again, which obviously hadn’t gone over well. She couldn’t have known, because if she did, then Mitch would’ve known—everybody would’ve known—and there probably would’ve been much more drama than there seemed to be. Harry wanted to check on you, though. He wanted to make sure she hadn’t upset you too much, to the point where you weren’t enjoying yourself. 

When Mitch mumbled, “They’re all in rare form tonight” before walking away to go find Sarah, he knew that was his chance. 

He found you in the corner he last saw you in, but alone, stirring the stick in your glass and mumbling along to Bleachers song that was filling the room. “Hey.” He tapped your elbow when he said it, making sure to get your attention. 

“Hi.” You spared him once glance before your eyes seemed to move to the people behind him, scanning for something or someone else. 

“Having fun?”

“Yeah, I am. Are you?” Barely a glance. 

“Love, are you alright?”

“Fine.”

“Then look at me. You’re not even talking to me.” He could hear himself getting frustrated—and desperate. If he wasn’t so tipsy, he would be embarrassed. When you still wouldn’t look at him, he lifted his hand and grabbed your chin and turned your face to look at him. “Baby, what’s—“

You ripped his hand from your face. “Don’t do that.” You whispered harshly. “What is wrong with you?”

Harry was taken aback. “Me? What’s wrong with me?” He laughed harshly. “Why are you acting like this?”

“Like what? Normal?”

“No, like your old bitchy self!”

You scoffed and shook your head. “I can’t do this tonight. I’m not doing this tonight.”

You tried to walk away but Harry stopped you with a hand on your arm.“Doing what?” 

“Dealing with you and your needy bullshit.” You pulled your arm out of his grasp and walked away, leaving him standing there. You were ruining everything and he had never felt worse. 

“Come here, right now.” Charlotte had swooped into your side from the mass of people in her living room. Her hand was pressed firmly into your back and she was guiding you down the hallway. After checking that the bathroom wasn’t occupied, she pushed the door open and shoved you inside. Once the door was locked behind the both of you, she put her drink next to the sink and then her hands on her hips. “What the fuck are you doing?”

You were beyond confused. “What do you mean?”

“What are you doing! With Harry! I saw that whole thing and it did not look good.”

“I thought you said it wasn’t any of your business.” You placed your drink next to hers and crossed your arms over your chest. 

“You two…boinking uglies or whatever it’s called—that’s none of my business. You being a massive fucking idiot—absolutely my business.”

You tried to hold in your laugh, because it was clear that she was being dead serious. “You mean…bumping uglies?”

“Fuck off!” She shoved your shoulder before returning to her stance. “What are you doing? You’re hurting Harry’s feelings. Why are you being so cold to him?”

“Because I’m supposed to be?” You knew Charlotte wasn’t an idiot, but you thought she was asking very stupid questions. 

“Okay.” Charlotte sighed and rubbed at her temples. “But do you want to be?”

You shook your head and sighed as you put the toilet cover down and took a seat. “No—at least, I don’t think so.”

Charlotte tried to cover her surprise. “Uh, okay, that was easy. Uhm,” she leaned up against the sink and looked down at you. “So why are you doing it?”

You lifted your right hand and waved it around as you searched for an explanation. “I’m just…frustrated and stressed out and annoyed and—I don’t know how I’m supposed to be acting! After last night and this morning, I just don’t don’t know how to act around him and treat him and this whole thing with Sarah—“ You groaned and dropped your head into your hands. 

“Wait, what happened that made you so unsure?” Charlotte gasped. “Oh my god, you, like, like him as a person, don’t you? Oh my god, did you guys cuddle?” Your body shook with a laugh but you didn’t answer her. “You did! Why is that so hard to picture? Was it weird?”

You lifted your head and sat up to look at her. “Yeah, I was definitely weird.”

“But something’s changed. I can feel it. I can see it on your face!” You could see the excitement in her eyes. 

“Nothing’s changed. We just…didn’t fight. Like, at all and we were nice to one another. I kind of liked it? But then tonight happened and of course, I had to go and fucking ruin it. Not that there’s even anything to ruin?” You sighed in frustration. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

“I’m…confused, which I know isn’t very helpful.” Charlotte admitted. “But we can talk this through another time. Why don’t you just try to be nice to him. Maybe apologize? I don’t know, maybe get crazy and be honest with him?”

“I said pretty mean shit.”

“Oh, I could tell. I saw the look on his face when he turned around. Fucking devastated.” She shook her head at you. 

You grabbed your drink from its spot on the sink and stood up. “Not helping.”

“Just being honest.” She picked up her drink and started towards the door. “Maybe you should try it.”

You had gone missing. You had disappeared with Charlotte and it had been almost fifteen minutes, not that he was counting. 

In that time, he had managed to down another tequila on the rocks—probably much quicker than he should’ve—and eaten a slice and a half of pizza. The whole time he was going over your interaction in his mind. Needy? He wasn’t being needy at all. All he wanted was for you to acknowledge that he existed, which he didn’t think was asking for much since he had fucked you last night and that morning. You were being bitchy though and drunk him was growing extremely insecure. 

He was in the middle of talking to one of Charlotte’s boyfriend’s friends when you and Charlotte reentered the party. For whatever reason, you looked nervous, but Harry decided that it wasn’t his problem. He turned his attention back to the girl he was talking to. She was pretty. Her hair was dark and cut just above her shoulders. She was dressed as Velma and had bright blue eyes. Harry kept telling himself that she was pretty. 

He caught the movement of a bright pink beret through the room and couldn’t stop his eyes from following it. You seemed to be wandering. You didn’t stop to talk to anyone or try to become part of any conversation. You didn’t even seem to be returning smiles—but you weren’t important. 

“Sorry, can you say that again? I missed it.” He leaned closer to the girl. 

“Uh, yeah. I was just saying that we had a mini halloween party yesterday for the kids I teach and it was a lot of fun.”

“What age did you teach again?” He had obviously completely missed the part where she said she was a teacher. By her face, Harry could see that she knew he wasn’t exactly paying attention.

“They’re seven.”

“That’s a great age.” He didn’t actually know, but it seemed like something he was supposed to say.

“Yeah, it is, actually.” The girl perked up and jumped into another story, just as Harry caught you in his view again. His jaw tightened when he realized that the guy you had been talking to early had stopped you. Harry could tell he was interested in you—who wouldn’t be? But he didn’t care. He couldn’t care. He wasn’t going to give in to you tonight. He didn’t want to let you treat him like crap when he was just trying to be nice. 

That being said, he was sad—real fucking sad and disappointed. He didn’t want to be there anymore. He didn’t want to be in the same space as you and he didn’t want to have to watch you flirt with someone else right in front of his face. 

“Sorry,” he cut the girl off. “I can’t—I’ve got to get something.” He knew it was beyond rude of him to leave her like that, but you were in his direct line of sight and he obviously wasn’t interested in her anyway. He hadn’t listened to a single word she said. 

The thing he decided he needed to get was a cupcake. When he got to the island, he picked one with purple frosting and a piped spider on top. As he took down the wrapper, he was hyper aware that the large amount of tequila, the pizza, the chips, and the cupcake probably weren’t going to mix well, but he didn’t care. 

The moment you saw Harry alone at the kitchen island, you excused yourself from the conversation with…Ben? Thomas? You had no fucking idea what his name was and you really didn’t care. 

When you reached him, you took a deep breath and tapped him on the shoulder since his back was to you. He turned around, cupcake in his mouth and brows raised in surprise. 

“Can we talk for a second?” His brow furrowed, then relaxed and he nodded. He picked up another cupcake before following you down the hallway and into the guest room. 

Once he was in, you closed and locked the door behind him. “What if someone needs their coat?” He asked before taking another bite of his cupcake. 

“Fuck their coats.”

“Good to know I’m not the only one you don’t give a shit about tonight.”

You ignored his remark and walked over to where he stood in the middle of the room. You reached up and wiped away the frosting that was smudged on the tip of his nose. 

“Now you want to be nice?”

“Can we sit down please?” 

Harry looked around. “Where? All the furniture is covered in coats.”

You dropped yourself down on the wood floor and Harry followed, careful not to drop his cupcakes. He moved himself so that his back was against the side of the bed and his legs were stretched out in front of him. You scooted yourself closer facing him and crossed your legs under you, sitting so close that your knee rested on his thigh. 

“I’m sorry.”

“Are you actually?” Charlotte was right. He looked devastatingly sad. You had no idea that you could make him feel that way, and you didn’t want to ever do it again. 

“I am. I shouldn’t have spoken to you that way, or blew you off, or called you needy when you’re really not. You just wanted me to be nice to you.” You laughed coldly towards yourself. “And I couldn’t even do that.”

“Why then?” He was fiddling with the wrapper of his second cupcake. “Has it got something to do with Sarah?”

You took the cupcake from his hand and gave the orange frosting a lick. “She knows.”

Harry scoffed in disbelief. “No, she doesn’t.”

You looked at him seriously. “Yes, she does.”

“How?” Harry sat up straighter.

“Because Charlotte knows.” You tossed a hand in the air. “She’s known this whole time because I’m a fucking idiot and she had my location! And Sarah just…walked in while we were talking and didn’t tell us she was there and so now she knows.”

Harry dropped his face into his hands and cursed. “So that’s why she’s been acting like that.”

“Yup.” You took another lick of the icing. 

“What are we going to do?”

You shrugged. “I don’t know. Also, don’t really care about that right now. Charlotte doesn’t care and defended us to Sarah—she also made it clear that Sarah isn’t to tell anyone.” You peeled back part of the wrapper. “That’s not why I wanted to talk to you though.”

“You wanted to apologize.”

“Yeah, I did, but I also wanted to tell you—“ You brought the cupcake to your lap and finally looked at him. “I had a really great time with you last night and this morning and I’m really sorry for ruining all of it.”

Harry reached a hand out and squeezed your knee. “You didn’t ruin it.”

“Oh, I for sure did. I was awful to you and that’s not how I should’ve behaved. Sarah just really stressed me out and she yelled at me and put me in such a shitty mood. I needed someone to take it out on—and you kept making me nervous. Every time you came up to me I felt like she was watching, like she was waiting for an excuse to call it out and make it this whole thing and I just couldn’t deal with that.”

“S’alright.”

“It’s not! You were being nice to me and I should’ve just told you what happened instead of being a dick.”

“Did you actually have a good time with me?” His eyes were hopeful. 

“I did, really.”

“Do you still hate me?” He started picking at a thread on his jeans. 

“I don’t think so.” You had to force the words out even though they were true. 

“You don’t think so?”

“I mean, I know I don’t hate you anymore, I guess. But my opinion of you only started to change last night. I’m not like, in love with you or anything.” You laughed lightly. “Imagine.”

Harry returned the laugh, but it was much softer and he still wasn’t looking at you. “Yeah, imagine.”

You tapped the back of his hand and tried to get him to look at you. “Are we okay?”

He nodded. “Yeah. As okay as we can be, I guess.”

“That’s not very comforting.” You joked. 

“Neither is knowing that you still don’t like me.” His tone was serious. 

“Harry, it’s not like that.”

“But it is. You don’t hate me, but you don’t like me.”

“But I’m on my way to liking you. It’s not so black and white, you know. For months I thought you were one person and I’m just now learning that’s not who you are. I feel like I have to get to know you all over again.”

“But I already know I don’t not like you.”

“You don’t not—what?” He wasn’t making sense. 

“I don’t hate you anymore. I don’t dislike you either. I thought we were becoming friends.”

“We are—we could be.” You so did not want to be having this conversation right now. 

“Fine.”

“I’m sorry, Harry.” You reached over and squeezed his hand. 

“Nothing to be sorry about, love.” He sent you a smile. 

You stood up and were about to ask him if he was ready to get back to the party when he completely caught you off guard. 

“How come you never text me?”

“I-I didn’t know I was supposed to?”

“I text you and you don’t text me back.”

“I didn’t know we were like that.” You admitted. 

“You never talk to me.” He looked dejected and you weren’t really sure what to do. 

“Do you want me to text you? To talk outside of…fucking and group stuff?”

“Of course I do.”

There was a long silence. You both sat there staring at one another, the hum of voices slowly leaking under the door. 

“I’m gonna—I need another drink.” You shook your head before turning quickly and leaving the room. 

Harry had completely thrown you. You had no idea that he cared that much. He thought you two were becoming friends? It’s not as if you hadn’t thought of it, hadn’t seen it as a possibility in the future, but it seems much closer for him. It was clear that he had found it much easier to leave his dislike for you behind when you were still holding onto yours—and for good reason. He had still never really apologized, genuinely, for the many awful things he did to you. You weren’t good at simply letting things go. 

It was just too much information too fast. You apologized and told him you liked the time spent with him and that you didn’t hate him anymore—he was asking for too much at once. Emotionally, you were exhausted and felt stretched too thin. 

Then came the guilt. After all that, how could you just leave him sitting there? What was wrong with you?

He shouldn’t have been surprised. You loved to run. The more time he spent with you, the more he learned that you didn’t like to deal with anything and it was beyond frustrating. 

He ran and frustrated hand over his face and sighed. He pushed himself up from the floor and pulled his phone from his pocket when it buzzed. 

It was a text from you. 

Hi :)

Hey

Harry bit back his smile. 

Come have a drink with me?

Instead of answering, he shoved his phone into his pocket and tried to shove his hope back down, just in case. 

When he walked around the corner of the hallway, you were already standing at the bar waiting for him. Your hands were behind your back. 

“So you’re texting me now?” He scratched the back of his neck. 

“Sorry, it was just a lot and I’m drunk.”

“I freaked you out.”

“Only a little…but then I realized that I can’t exactly get to know you again if I don’t try to so...”

“You’re trying.” He finished. 

You pulled your hand from behind your back and revealed to him a cupcake. “I am.”

Harry smiled at you. “As much as I appreciate the gesture, if I eat another one of those I’ll be sick.”

“Noted.” You smiled back at him and left the cupcake on the shelf of Charlotte’s fireplace. 

“I will take that drink, though.” He winked. 

“Great.” 

Harry hesitantly brushed his hand beneath your hair and rested it on the back of your neck. He knew his palm was probably cold against your warm skin, but you didn’t flinch. You didn’t react at all, actually. He scratched lightly at the skin as you poured the two of you drinks, only removing his hand when you turned to hand him his cup. “Thanks, love.” 

“Wanna sit?” He nodded in response, but when you turned around, the couch was full. 

Harry’s eyes landed on the space in front of the couch, which had apparently turned into a makeshift dance floor now that everyone was drunk enough. “We could always…” Harry gestured towards the people dancing. 

Just then, King Princess’s “Hit the Back” started to play and your hand had clamped around his wrist. “I love this song. Let’s go.”

Harry knew he couldn’t dance with you the way that he wanted to, the way he had danced with you at the fashion week after party, but he would take whatever he could get. Any awkwardness between the two of you from your moment in the guest room had seemed to completely disappear. Your smile was huge and Harry was sure that his was goofy as he watched you sing along to the song. 

Again, he as struck by how effortless you made everything look. You were a good dancer and made it look easy, like you weren’t thinking at all—while Harry knew he wasn’t the best and was so focused on not looking stupid in front of you. When he started doing his exaggerated version of the simple “step-and-touch”, you let out a laugh and moved closer to him, letting your hands fall on his shoulders. As you pulled away again, you dragged your hands down his arms and it felt as if you had lit them on fire. 

He wanted to kiss you. The urge felt as if it was eating him alive. He wanted to wrap his arms around your waist and pull you into him. He wanted to be with you the way he was this morning. He wanted the two of you to be somewhere where not liking one another didn’t seem to be an option. 

Just as he was about to move closer to you, Charlotte popped up at your side with her polaroid camera. “I can’t not take a picture of Jackie and Kelso!”

Harry looked at you to make sure it was okay and you smiled happily. Before he could move, you had wrapped your arm around his waist and tucked yourself into his side. He saw the look on Charlotte’s face--it seemed to be a mix of surprise and relief.  Harry moved his arm around your waist and slipped his hand into the back pocket of your trousers and pulled you into further into him. When Charlotte counted down, he held up a peace sign and experienced his first genuine smile of the night. 

Four songs and three not so subtle thumbs-up from Charlotte later, Harry found himself back at the bar cart. Right when he reached for the tequila, he felt a familiar hand rub over his back. 

“Alright, H. I think you’re good.”

He stood up straight and looked at you with curious eyes. “What was that?”

“What?”

“What did you just call me?” He asked through his smile. 

“I called you ‘Harry’.” 

“No. You called me ‘H’. You’ve never done that before.”

“Sure I have.” You dropped your hand from his back. 

“Uh, uh, put that hand back.” He was still smiling and even though you rolled your eyes, you returned your hand to its position. “That’s the first time you’ve ever said that.”

“Whatever.” You took the cup from his hand. “I still think you’ve had enough.”

Harry rubbed at his eyes. “You’re probably right.”

You put both your hands on your hips. “I know we were just starting to have fun and I really don’t mean to cut it short, but—“

“Don’t say it.”

“I’m so fucking tired and it’s already 11:30 and I have an article to finish tomorrow…”

“You want to go?” He couldn’t keep the disappointment out of his voice.

“Kind of?”

“I’ll take you home.” Harry pulled out his phone and you grabbed onto his arm. 

“No, you’re having fun! I’m not going to ruin that.”

“We’ve already determined that I’ve had enough to drink. I should probably go home too.”

“Are you sure?” 

“More than sure.” He sent a quick text to his driver. “C’mon, let’s go say goodbye.”

You two made the round separately, not wanting to make it look as though you were leaving together. When Harry said goodbye to Charlotte, she gave him a knowing smile and Mitch seemed a little suspicious at the timing. 

He met you at the elevator and wrapped his arm around your shoulder as soon as the doors closed. “You know, despite the shit show at the beginning, I had fun with you tonight.” 

“I think I had fun with you too.”

Harry rolled his eyes. “You really need to stop doing this whole ‘thinking’ thing.”

You chuckled. “I’ll try.” 

He dropped his arm when you got downstairs and you two walked a few feet apart on the way to the car. 

Once you were inside, he held his arm back out to you. “C’mere.” Without hesitation you slid over and tucked yourself under his arm for the second time that night. Neither of you said anything the entire ride to yours, just sat and enjoyed the music which was interrupted by the occasional sniffle brought on by the cold October air. 

He kept looking down every few moments to make sure you hadn’t fallen asleep, but caught your eyes fluttering every so often. Harry couldn’t believe how normal this felt—but knew that if he were to mention it to you, you would tell him it was still weird. He didn’t want to hear that right then. He wanted to sit there and enjoy the comfortable silence with you. He wanted to spend the drive with you cuddled into him and nothing else. 

He had a deep feeling in his chest that he was absolutely fucked. 

When his driver stopped in front of your building, he kissed you on the top of the head. “I’ll walk you to the door.”

You sat up and Harry opened the door and stepped out of the car. He held out his hand to you and helped you climb out. 

“My feel hurt.” You complained as you walked up to the door. 

“You’ve been wearing heels for two days straight, I’m not surprised.” He said as he wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you close to him. 

When you got to the door, you pulled out your keys and turned to face him. “Thanks for the ride.” He met you in the middle. The kiss was soft and sweet. 

“Anytime, love.” 

You stood there staring at him. “Uh..do you—do you want to come up?” He could tell it was hard for you to ask. 

“Not tonight, babe.”

“Oh. Okay.” He had embarrassed you, but he couldn’t go up tonight. I needed to think and to figure out what he wanted from you—if he wanted anything from you. 

“C’mere.” He tugged on your coat and pulled you in for another kiss. And then another. And then one last one. “Night.” 

[harrywritingsbyme]

ok but what about harry being so big and ur a virgin (or haven’t been w anyone for a while) and he’s trying to get you as relaxed as possible so he can fit in but u guys keep trying and it just won’t fit bc ur rly tight. but harry isn’t giving up and he’s just being a sweetheart. but then he finally pushes in all the way for the first time and he’s super turned on by seeing his print thru ur stomach and becomes super cocky bc you take him so well and you’re his angel who now looks freshly fucked

The one Where Harry and Y/n Try to Make It Fit

A/N: All I have to say is that it’s filthy and it’s the second blurb for ‘A Series Of Firsts’ Enjoy 🙃

You haven’t been with anyone for a really long time. And it was for two reasons. The first being that you hadn’t been in a relationship where you really wanted to have sex, and the second being that you were fine taking care of yourself (and you would like to think that you were pretty good at it). You were perfectly fine up until now. And by now, you meant Harry.

From the time you met Harry to now being in a relationship together, it was like a switch went off inside of you. There was something about simply being in his presence that lit an insatiable fire inside of you. You couldn’t explain it, but even the slightest touch got your blood pumping. You two had been together for a little over six months at this point and you couldn’t go any longer without having Harry deep inside of you. Harry’s mouth and fingers always did wonders for you, better than you could have ever done for yourself. He always knew exactly what buttons to press and how to make you fall apart instantly for him. It didn’t matter if it was his tongue or fingers, Harry always made you cum hard. And as good as he never failed to make you feel, you wanted more. You wanted to be filled to the brim with his cock, and you wanted to feel his hips crashing down against yours as he pushes himself in and out of you. You knew exactly what you wanted and you didn’t know how long you could go without getting it.

This desperate need for Harry led you to the position you were in now. Lying naked beneath an also naked Harry. It was supposed to be a cozy and romantic night in for you two, but after a couple drinks and many kisses in between the two of you went from simply kissing to ripping each others clothes off. When you whispered to Harry that you wanted to have sex, things got even more heated. His mission to get you naked only intensified and his lips were pressed harder against yours. Once the sex part actually came though, the mood instantly changed. Harry’s movements became much less frenzied, and more languid and soft. There was no doubt that he wanted you just as much as you wanted him. It was just that he wanted it to be a moment for the both of you, and your relationship as a whole. Even though neither of you were virgins, the both of you were strong in your feelings for each other and you wanted the first time you had sex together to be special. Another thing Harry made sure to take into account was the fact that you hadn’t had sex in a while and it’d take a little more adjusting than normal. So, Harry was going to take his time and make sure that you were comfortable above anything else.

“I just need y’to relax f’me baby” Harry coaxes. He knew that you were tight, but this was unbelievable. Every time he went to push into you, you always winced a little bit.

“I am, you’re just really big.” You point out. You took Harry in your mouth before, so you were well versed in how sizable Harry was. You had no idea how big he was when it came to other parts of your body though. Whenever he tried to push into you, it felt like he was piercing into you. You’d never taken anything or anyone that could compare to how big Harry was. “M’surprised you haven’t killed anyone with that thing.” you continue.

“I’ll take that as a compliment.” Harry chuckles before sitting back on his calves between your spread legs. “If y’want we can stop. Don’t wanna actually kill yeh.” Harry rakes his hand through his hair, pushing back the curls that were sticking to his forehead.

“No!” You sit up, resining back against your elbows. “If you don’t fit one more time then we can stop.” You bargain.

“Y/n, I don’t wanna force it. I don’t want you t’be-“ Before he can finish his statement, you reach forward towards him, and you grab his hand. You pull it towards your glistening center and you place it right on you.

“Please?” You pout, making sure to bat your eyes up at him. Harry doesn’t respond immediately. His eyes fall down towards where you placed his hand and he begins to move his hand against you. When he hears a small whimper leave your lips, he couldn’t stop his cock from twitching. “So is that a yes?” You ask him once more. Instead of responding, Harry lifts himself back up and brings himself back down towards you.

“Forget me killin’ you, y’gonna kill me first.” Harry mumbles under his breath. He wraps his hand around his cock, giving himself a few tugs. “Y’ready?” He asks, looking up to you for an answer. You nod your head before dropping it back down against the pillows. Harry gives you a final reassuring look before moving his eyes back down. He lines himself back up with your entrance and he takes a deep breath. “Relax f’me babe.” He instructs before slowly beginning to push into you.

“Oh my god!” You whimper out. You could feel him stretching you out completely. You felt so full from him simply pushing the head of his cock into you that you didn’t know how much more you could take. Once he’s all the way inside of you, Harry had to take a minuet. He couldn’t believe that you managed to take all of him inside of your tight hole. Just saying that you were tight would be a complete understatement. You were so tight that he felt like he could cum right then and there. As his eyes moved up your body back to yours, he immediately gets stopped in his tracks. He could clearly see his cock trough your lower stomach.

“Y’need t’feel this.” Harry groans. He reaches for your hand and he presses it down right agains the prominent bump in your lower stomach.

“Is that-“

“Mhm” Harry grumbles.

“That’s just-“ you couldn’t even make out anything else. The only words you were able to say were the ones telling Harry to fuck you. And when he did, it was better than any feeling either of you had ever felt.

Harry couldn’t believe how well you were taking him. Not to mention the fact that he couldn’t get over how undeniably pretty you looked beneath him. The sounds that were leaving your mouth were like music to his ears. Hearing you slur out how big and deep he was only fueled his fire. What made him even closer to to the edge was what you managed to get out through you moans and whimpers. The way Harry was taking care of you was beyond compare. He touched you softly as if you were made of porcelain. You loved the way he put your pleasure ahead of his own, but you wanted to see his rough side. You saw a little bit of it earlier, but you knew there was so much more. When you told him to go harder, his moments against you stopped and he looked you right in the eye. He could see from the look in your eyes that him slamming his cock into you was non-negotiable. Since you wanted this, he was going to make sure you got it. He pulls almost all the way out of you before crashing his hips back down against yours, sending a loud slapping sound throughout the room.

“Harry!” You cry out to him. You wanted to feel the slight sting of him pounding into you, shoving his cock deep inside of you over and over again. You could feel the prominent veins that were on his thick shaft gliding against your walls. You could also feel the swollen head of his cock, slamming into that special spot deep inside of you over and over again. The way harry was pounding into you exceeded any expectations you had going in. The way he swiftly slammed his cock into you over and over again was amazing. It was so amazing that you could feel your eyes beginning to water.

Right now, Harry’s head was spinning faster than he could even process it. You were making him feel things he’d never felt before. It was like your walls were begging him to keep on fucking into you. You were doing so well for him that he wanted to just stay inside of you forever. Harry was even starting to get a little bit lightheaded. He couldn’t hold himself up for that much longer, so he lays himself down against your body. As a result, your body is completely pinned down against the mattress and all you could do was take every last thrust he gave you. You wrap your legs loosely around his back to keep him tight against you and you dig your nails into his biceps. You could already feel him going deep in your stomach, him laying on you only made you feel it ten times as much. It also meant that Harry could feel it against him too. On top of that, he got to hear the way you were crying and panting out to him at how good he felt inside of you even better, and was like music to his ears. He knew that he wasn’t going to last that much longer, all he had to do now was focus on making you cum. He stays in this position for a little bit longer until he feels you beginning to clenching around him. He pulls himself up from your body and he brings a hand up to your chest, squeezing one of your breasts in his large hand.

“Look so beautiful with m’cock buried inside yeh.” Harry pants above you, continuing to shove his cock into your tight cunt. “Where do y’want m’cum angel?” He asks, feeling his release quickly creeping up to him.

“Inside” you slur out to him.

“Fuck” he whispers. You’ve been blowing his mind the entire night. The fact that you wanted him to cum inside of you too, painting your walls white with his cum was just the icing on top of the cake. “m’gonna need yeh t’cum with me then” Harry demands, slowing down his hips.

“M’so close” you whimper.

“Y’can do it angel, just let go f’me” Harry coos. When your cries get louder and shakier, he knows that you’re about to cum. Your thighs begin to quiver below him and you could feel the tight knot in our stomach beginning to unravel. “Look a’me angel. Let me see those pretty eyes” he softly coos to you. You slowly but surely open your eyes for him and he can see the tears from pleasure pooling at the outer corners of your eyes. He pushes his hips up against yours, keeping his cock deep inside of you. When he does this, you completely let go around him. You let out the loudest cry you’ve made all night as you cum around him. The tears run down the side of your face and you stare into Harry’s eyes as you cum around his cock.

Feeling your already extremely tight walls contracting around his cock made Harry cum too. You feel a warm rope of his cum pour into the deepest part of you. Once the both of you are done, Harry begins to pull out of you.

“Squeeze my hand baby, it might sting a little.” Harry warns, intertwining his fingers with yours. And he was right. He made sure to go extra slow, giving you small reassurances along the way. Once he’s fully out of you, Harry couldn’t help but sit back and stare. He couldn’t believe how pretty you looked right after being fucked. You skin had a light veil of sweat and your body was almost, if not completely limp. When he looks down to your pussy, he can see his cum dripping out of you and right onto the sheets. The way your stomach was contracting as you were trying to catch your breath, reminded him of how his cock went all the way up there. Subconsciously, Harry’s hand reaches out towards the area, and the palm of his hand presses into the area. He realizes what he’s doing when you place your hand onto of his.

“You were so deep.” You slur out to him. You have a blissful smile painted across your face at the thought.

“ And being the pretty little angel you are, you took it all so well.” He praises.

“Mhm, just for you” you sigh. Harry then brings his face down to yours and slots his lips against yours, lazily kissing you. “Y’ready f’me to clean yeh up?” He mumbles against your lips. You send him a small nod and he gets up off of the bed to take you to the bathroom.

When you sit up, you see him standing next to the bed, looking over your body once more. When you give him puzzled look, he explains exactly why he’s looking at you this way.

“S’just that you’re my sweet angel, and y’look so pretty when you’re freshly fucked.” Harry explains.

Masterlist

[correctdangerousfellows]

first date with ethan and harry

anon asked:  first date headcanons for the dfel bois

a/n: this request made me so happy u don’t understand, i’m sorry this was super late and i didn’t want to take too much time so here is ethan’s and harry;s first! i’ll publish zion’s, eugene’s, and lawrence’s super soon <3

ethan

- my precious,,, but very awkward giant,,,,,

- you probably had to initiate the first date. you guys were just chilling outside of a classroom talking about random stuff until the topic of baseball was brought up, and u said something around the lines of “oh my god we should go to one of those baseball games together :D”

- insert dying ethan here he says yes with the most eager and straightforward face

- THE MOST NERVOUS MF he doesn’t show it but when i mean he is dying inside i mean HE IS DYING INSIDE

- he wakes up early for once in his life and waits patiently outside of your home with absolutely everything prepared. he brought a mini backpack filled with snacks, water bottles, and a sports jacket in case it was windy

- asked if he could hold ur hand bc baseball stadiums r so big and he’s not risking losing u in a big crowd

- there was a cameraman going around and he asked u guys if u wanted a photo together and he was like “YES,,,,,,, if u don’t mind of course.” it’s a cute polaroid of u two together with matching baseball caps

- yall the photo is NOT GOING ANYWHERE. he takes it with him everywhere he goes

- if u were familiar with baseball, he would talk about what the teams were doing with u and guessing who was going to win,, it’s basically commentary and it’s so cute bc he gets lost in it and when he realizes he gets shy and goes “oh wait sorry i think i talked too much” MF IF U DON’T TALK MORE

- if u weren’t familiar with baseball, he would explain absolutely everything to u and would keep an arm slung around ur shoulder so u have easy access to ask him anything :”) he is open to every single question and is completely patient with u. in fact he just falls deeper in love with u if u sound into the sport

- what is a sports date... if no kiss cam.....?

- you guys were way too into the game so u guys didn’t notice the kiss cam was on u two until the crowd got ridiculously loud

- ethan really wanted to kiss u but also he didn’t want u to feel pressured at all but if u gave him permission he would give u the most gentle and soft kiss of all time

- doesn’t process he kissed u until an hour later

- dies when he does

- 10/10 would do again even if he died of cardiac arrest

harry

- harry was the one who initiated the first date! he’s actually been wanting to ask you to a date for the longest time but he had no idea how to approach u,, and also he’s pretty scared of making u uncomfortable so he was in this very poor position of oh my god what should i do

- he asked his mother for advice n everything and finally went for it

- pretty casual about it freaking inside he first asks you if you’re available next weekend, then proceeds to be like ,,,”so i heard about this movie right and it’s insert favorite movie genre here” because he’s very tentative to your interests so

- when you said yes he was like “oh, okay cool! see you then : ^ )”

- he thinks he looks composed on the outside but in reality,,, you see harry with the reddest fucking face ever and he’s grabbing the back of his neck and looking away shyly with a small smile

- went shopping for the first time with his mom and got decent looking clothes

- bought the snacks beforehand ofc my mans is already prepared

- the most gentlemanliest gentleman ever u already know he’s there like an hour early, he insisted on taking you safely to the theatres, paid for all the tickets, “your daughter will be back by 9 pm sir”

- no matter what type of movie you guys are watching he is always leaning towards you so your shoulders touch,,, and he’s so warm and he’ll glance at u a few times throughout the movie to see ur reaction

- if you guys are watching a horror movie, he’ll hold your hand very gingerly and squeeze it whenever a jumpscare pops up

- for romcoms, he’ll probably be distracted from the movie just to stare at u HE IS OVER THE MOONNNN FOR U

- action? he’ll be as engrossed as u are and u guys are just sharing snacks subconsciously and sometimes your hands would brush together and he’ll smile at u gently

- HE IS SO CUTE OMG once the movie finished, he walks you back home with your arm around his arm and he’ll quietly listen to you ramble about the movie with the most loving eyes

- got so engrossed in the conversation that he didn’t even notice u were in front of ur home

- he gave u a big fat hug and he was SO WARM he lowkey did not want to let go bc everything in that moment was so comfortable and he buried his head in ur shoulders as he thanked u for the fun date

- everything kept replaying in his head later that night when he was going to bed and he realizes just how bad he’s got it for u :’)

THIS WAS SO FUN TO DO AHH i feel like i did harry a bit wrong here so,,,,, i’ll probably edit it once i finish all my requests. thank you once again for requesting and i am super sorry that this was late, but i’ve finally recovered fully from covid so i should be back to regular posting again!!! i’ll have the rest of the fellows done soon <3

> lychee

[kwdaebin]

hi everyone! i’m miya and PSYCHED to be here with bill nye the science guy, kwon daebin :’) click the read more for some of his info & plots below + feel free to like this post if you’d like to plot and i’ll hit you up!!! you can also feel free to add me on d*scord @ 국밥boi#8158 🚀

born july 17, 1996 (25)

country bumpkin from good ol’ gyeongsangnam-do, so if you love a man with a thick country accent... here u go

parents met in a cult so they’re low-key cray cray and his ambitiousness & drive to be smart and successful are what helps him keep distance from them lmao (they’re flat earthers)

was always that kid growing up that won first prize for his volcano science project

everyone kinda knew he was destined to be the successful scientist... he’s crossing his fingers

physics graduate student & has a minor in astronomy

president of the astronomy club but honestly he’s so f*ckin busy with his graduate work that he’s not very good at keeping the club active :’( he was super active as an undergrad tho

dream is to work at nasa (resume is currently in the works)

typical hot nerd in the streets

same typical hot nerd in the sheets (just give him a little liquid courage)

literally always wearing his glasses. he’s blind as a bat and refuses to wear contact lenses unless he absolutely HAS to… he’s that guy from that episode of twilight zone who is the last person on earth and ends up breaking his only remaining pair

basically daebin in a nutshell

ps DON’T mention harry styles to him or else he’s going to tie you down and force you to listen to harry��s place from start to finish and will actually yell at you if you try to talk over his music

you didn’t hear this from me buttttt he likes girls with big hoo-has & boys with… height

is actually pretty social, you just have to talk to him for a little bit to warm him up ♡

he hates astrology so much so don’t ever mention that around him either. he’s a cancer btw

textbook smart but fucking stupid with shit you’d think he’d have a better handle on ie. is bad at day trading, struggles with fitted sheets, and has poor spelling 

some plots that might be fun:

a. ya boy likes to party sometimes when he needs to relieve stress; normally he doesn’t like to go too hard because he’s sort of an old man and his body can’t really tolerate drinking ‘til 3am anymore 💀 maybe your muse is a bit younger (20-23) and convinces him to stay out and something he regrets happens, ie. y’all kiss because ur both too drunk, he ends up getting too wasted in front of you and you take care of him and now he’s embarrassed to face you sober, etc b. i’m sorry i just have to put this one here but he’s your hot TA and all you want to do during ur seminars is jump his bones... and somehow at some point u get ur way c. someone to proofread his cover letters for his internship and job applications (his spelling and also his grammar kinda sucks so he rly needs a 2nd pair of eyes!!!!) d. planetarium “date” but all daebin does is explain everything to you and ruins the entire experience e. dummy forgets his glasses somewhere and even tho he looks like a complete snacc without them he literally cannot see a THING and please he’s begging you to help him bc he’s so screwed

[plant-flwrs]

i love ur writing so so much!!! if possible, could you maybe do a fred weasley x reader where the reader is insecure, and thinks hes asking her out as a joke//prank? thank you so much!!<3

insecurities // fred weasley 

masterlist!

a/n: omg this request rly came for me wow. only joking, i loved it, thank u sm for sending it in!! hope u like it!! (also went a little Little Women with that love confession scene, couldn’t help myself hehe)

summary: You and Fred are hopelessly in love with each other, but you don’t believe him when he finally admits it.

(a little short one! 1.7k)

------

The sky above you was turning dark, but the game of Quidditch in front of you still roared on.

Orbs of light had been casted onto the tops of each towering stand of students, illuminating the field for miles. The cheers never dulled, the same enthusiasm seeping from everyone as when the game started. You couldn’t remember how long you had been out there, but you did know the sun was still up when it started.

You held a pair of binoculars to your eyes, watching as Fred leaned forward on his broom and hit a bludger with such force that your heart did a little jump in your chest. He flew closer to the ground, intercepting a bludger that was going straight towards Angelina. You watched the corner of his mouth lift in a smirk at the girl as she smiled at him appreciatively. Your heart sank.

You had been in love with Fred Weasley for a little over a year. You went to every one of his Quidditch matches, helped him with most of his pranks, and talked to him for hours just about every day. Yet, he was still just a friend. Your best friend.

You didn’t care if Fred liked you back, though you figured he didn’t. You could never confess your feelings for him. You hated the idea of having to be so vulnerable around him, so you kept everything you felt for him to yourself.

You couldn’t help but feel the sting of jealously, however, as Fred watched Angelina soar off towards the goal posts.

You managed to keep your enthusiasm. Your cheers nearly reached Fred’s ears, your encouragements being so loud. Hundreds of feet above you, Harry’s broom darted down, and he was diving to the ground. The crowd silenced for a moment before screams erupted. Harry flew laps in front of the stands, holding out the snitch in his harsh grip. Your eyes followed him, smile wide. You rushed off the stands, hurrying down the steps and to the field. Your eyes met Fred’s and he started towards you.

“Great game, Fred!” Angelina called from behind him.

He turned from you, walking backwards and looking at Angelina. He smiled widely at her and you watched with heavy eyes as she returned a shy smile. You couldn’t help the downturn of your lips as you watched it, watched his eyes lock onto hers for a little too long. By the time he turned back to you, you had crossed your arms over your chest and kicked up some grass from beneath your feet.

“Why the long face? We won!” he shouted, coming to wrap his arms around your frame.

He lifted you into the air and you couldn’t help the smile that snuck its way onto your lips. You placed two cautious hands on his frim shoulders, steadying yourself as he spun you.

“Fred!” you screeched, smiling widely and tilting your head to the sky.

“You stayed the whole game,” he said, putting you down but keeping his arms wrapped around you.

“Of course I did,” you replied, stating it like that was obvious.

“You had to be standing up there for at least seven hours,” Fred’s head tilted down, hit teeth trapping his bottom lip as he looked at you.

“Well I was sitting for at least three of those seven,” you quipped, smirking at him, “so, I’d say it was a fair trade.”

“Let’s go to the common room,” he said, releasing one of his arms and moving the other up to wrap around your shoulders.

“I hope you plan on showering first,” you pinched your nose, pretending to be awfully offended by the smell coming from Fred’s extended arm.

Fred released you, ducking his head down to smell his armpit. His face recoiled and he laughed with you.

The two of you fell in with the large mass of students returning to the castle, but all either of you thought about was the other.

That night, Fred had made a promise to himself to ask you out, finally. He had been in love with you for years. How could he not be? You were everything he loved in a person. His arms propped his head up on top of his pillow, and just before he drifted off to sleep he was imagining how he should ask you to be his girlfriend.

The process was difficult, he didn’t know if you’d want him to be sweet, or if you’d rather have something flashy. He was so preoccupied with the details that he hadn’t even stopped to consider you not liking him back. In the end, he decided on something perfect, something just for you.

You pulled yourself from bed with tired legs feeling sore after standing in the stands for all that time. You couldn’t imagine how sore Fred’s arms must be.

Quickly getting ready and managing to just catch lunch, you slid onto the bench next to Fred.

“Good morning,” he mumbled, voice muffled from the toast he was chewing.

“Morning,” you replied.

You rubbed the heals of your hands into your eyes, forcing what was left of exhaustion from them. You pulled a variety of foods from platters in front of you, filling your plate for lunch.

“Are you busy today?” Fred asked, finally done chewing his food.

“I don’t think so,” you responded tiredly, “why?”

“I wanted to take you somewhere,” he said, smiling shyly at you.

Your stomach filled with butterflies at his look, and you shifted your gaze to your plate.

“Okay,” Fred barely heard the mumble, but he caught it just in time for lunch to be dismissed.

The two of you stood, and he slipped his hand into yours. He dragged you away from the school, pulling you down the familiar path to the Quidditch pitch.

“Why are we going to the pitch? I was just here all day,” you whined, thinking Fred was dragging you to another one of Wood’s surprise practices.

“You’ll like it,” he didn’t turn his head back to look at you but you could hear his grin, “promise.”

You took a few rushed steps, falling in place next to him. You looked down at your intertwined hands and your heart swelled.

You two finally reached the grassy field, and Fred pulled you off to the side. He waved his wand, and a blanket appeared in front of you. He motioned for you to sit and you did. He followed your actions, sitting with his legs crossed. His hands were fiddling behind his back and before you could sneak a glance, he pulled out a small box of chocolates. He put them between you two, setting them on the ground as he opened them to you. He watched your face light up at the sight of your favorite muggle candies, and your fingers brushed his as your hand reached for a chocolate.

“Oh my gosh, Fred!” you exclaimed, taking a bite of the chocolate, “What do I get these for?”

You smiled slyly at him, expecting him to ask you for help with his next pranks.

“Well,” he started, moving his hands from the candies to twist in his lap, “if you’ll be my girlfriend you’ll get plenty more where that came from.”

You let out a forced laugh, figuring Fred was just buttering you up even more for a prank. Your laugh drifted unnaturally as you met his serious expression. Your face became stern.

“Don’t be mean, Fred,” you warned, putting the rest of the chocolate back in the box.

“What? I’m serious,” Fred answered in a defensive tone.

You couldn’t help but think Fred had figured out your crush on him. That he had invited you down here to embarrass you about it. You hated yourself for thinking it, but couldn’t help the worries.

“Stop,” you begged your voice not to crack, and it didn’t this time, but you knew it would if you had to say another thing.

“What?” Fred repeated, an awkward chuckle coming from him, “I’m asking you to be my girlfriend.”

“No you’re not,” you said, becoming angry, “this is a joke or something. George and Lee are hiding somewhere aren’t they?”

Fred’s mouth opened, his face twisted with confusion. He reached for you, but you pulled away.

“No they aren’t! What makes you think this is a joke?” Fred pleaded, still reaching for you.

“You don’t like me,” you said, your voice finally cracking, “you like Angelina.”

“Angelina?” he repeated, baffled, “What makes you think I bloody like Angelina?”

Your bottom lip jutted out as you tried not to cry in front of Fred.

“I don’t know,” you mumbled, taking a deep breath, “you always flirt with her.”

“I don’t like Angelina,” Fred sighed, finally being able to take your hands in his, “I like you. I’m in love with you.”

“You’re fucking with me,” you tried one last time, laughing shakily and looking around the field.

“I’m not!” Fred insisted.

“Are you sure?”

He looked at you like you were crazy. Like he couldn’t believe you thought he’d have any doubts about his love for you.

“Yes, Y/n, I’m sure.”

“Oh,” you squeaked out, eyes wide.

“Do you love me?” 

You couldn’t say anything, frozen in his gaze. You nodded slowly and his mouth split into a smile.

“Really?” he asked, smiling widely.

“Yeah,” you choked out, “as long as this isn’t a prank.”

Fred laughed again, and moved closer to you. His open lips met yours, and his hands cupped the side of your face. The two of you moved in sync, molding to each other’s movements. The kiss said everything you both wanted it to say. It was you cheering for Fred at every Quidditch match and him looking at you from his broom. It was you chasing after him in the halls after a prank was set off and him glancing over his shoulder just to see your smile. It was your legs resting in his lap as you both talked for hours and him twirling a piece of your hair between his fingers.

All your insecurities and reservations washed away with that kiss. You didn’t think Fred could fake something this real for a prank. His chest rose with heavy breaths from just being near you, and eventually you couldn’t stop the smile that broke the kiss.

“Believe me now?” Fred said, breathing deeply as his forehead rested against yours.

You bit your lip and nodded, looking at him through your lashes. He pushed against you, resting your back against the ground and keeping his forehead against yours. His lips pushed against yours again, and you couldn’t believe you doubted him for a second.

[sebstanseabass]

Afterglow (A Bucky Barnes AU fan fiction) - Chapter 15

WARNING: Mature scenes ahead!!! ;)

A/N: Future u, i hope ur ok

Afterglow chapters

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

The moonlight glimmered among the stars in the now pitch-black skies, fighting off against the bright lights hanging from above the tent. Bucky's digression to topics regarding his real family (or lack thereof, I think) never wore off, clearly avoiding talking about, dare you say, "the real stuff." But the classic "favorites" section of a date was indeed a delight. You had already covered favorite films (his was The Truman Show, while yours was Forrest Gump; but you also talked about other films that you both shared a liking to — Pulp Fiction, Me, Myself & Irene, Dead Poets Society, The Godfather, the Harry Potter series, Inception, and of course, any films that star the legendary Tom Hanks), favorite music to listen to (you both loved vintage rock and roll), and so much more favorites and would you rather and what ifs and if you weres. But you mostly talked about films — an in-depth discourse on their themes, writing, and cinematography (things you never thought you'd be able to talk about with anyone).

"Have you ever thought about shooting films?" Bucky asked.

You were now lying down on the blanket-covered ground, bodies upside down-like: your forehead aligned with his chin, and his chin aligned with your forehead, as if characters from The Fault In Our Stars.

"I did." You replied. "But I wanted to focus more on photography."

"Why?"

You turned your head, your breath fanning the side of his face. "There's something about the stillness of moving things, of people around me, beautiful people that strikes me as fascinating."

He hummed, closing his eyes. He was saying something, about how art, in all kinds of medium, connected people from all walks of life, how the beauty of it all can be different to each, and how he wished he could make one of his own: to give life to a canvas, to freeze a moment in time, to put his thoughts in pen and paper, and to embody a character different from his. At some point, you could feel him peeling down all his layers but then he stopped talking.

You respected the silence between you and took your sweet time studying his face. The wrinkles on his forehead looked like ridges of sand, ridges people would like to walk on for days, ridges that held untold stories of — perhaps — heartache, failure, and pain. His closed eyelids looked like a sleeping moon, gleaming. Almost touching his cheeks were his long, curved eyelashes. Then, my eyes trailed down to his nose, dotted with freckles, his nostrils releasing small puffs of air; then down to his mouth, slightly agape, and then down to the stubbles on the sides of his face. There was a small scar, almost concealed by where his beard started to grow.

You turned your body sideways, tracing the scar with your finger.

Bucky's body tensed under your touch.

"What happened to this fella?" You whispered, tracing the small scar.

He soon let himself relax, opening his eyes. "Car accident." He replied. "But I don't remember much of it. I don't know where it happened, or how it happened or if I hit something or worse, someone. But Tony told me he took care of everything. I haven't been behind the wheel since then. I fear history will repeat itself."

Then, you remembered all the times you've been in a vehicle with Bucky. Not once was he driving. "How old were you?"

"Nineteen? Twenty? I really don't know." He sighed, closing his eyes once again. It was the first time Bucky told you something so real — a fear, something personal, something close to home. "Hey, y/n?"

"Yes, Bucky?"

"Can you kiss it and make it feel better?"

You giggled, poking the scar. "You've got to be kidding me."

He pouted, his eyes still closed. "Please?"

You sighed, feigning exasperation. "Fine." You planted a soft kiss on the scar, your lower lip catching the rough edges of his beard.

"I'm still not feeling better."

"Oh Bucky, you are such a child." You laughed, giving it another kiss, and then another, and then another and then another, until rough edges turned into the soft textures of his lips. With lips entangled in an unusual position, you brought myself onto your knees, and positioned yourself on top of him — knees on each side of his hips, crotch pressed against his, hands on his jaws, lips on his lips, tongue inside of his mouth.

His hands found your neck, then up your jaws, cupping your face and pulling it closer to his. He then started to rake the roots of your hair, tugging it lightly, making a moan escape your lips. You felt one corner of his mouth turn a bit upward at the sound. He tugged your hair tighter and harder until your lips left his with your head pulled backwards, leaving your bare neck exposed.

Without any hesitation, his mouth moved onto neck. Gratified by the series of moans coming out of your mouth, he sucked deeper into your skin, biting every inch of your neck, making sure to leave damn marks. On impulse, you moved your hips against his, grinding his clothed crotch. Bucky groaned against your skin, his hot breath fanning your neck. You could feel your own wetness in between your thighs as you moved your hips more, Bucky's bulge growing under you getting bigger and bigger. The sensation left you breathless.

And you needed more.

You broke away from his grasp, returning the favor. You kissed him on the lips and moved your way towards his earlobes in which Bucky very much liked; so much that he thrusted his hips upwards, slamming loud onto yours.

"Oh, fuck." You moaned, moving your way towards his neck.

Bucky's hands immediately flew under your shirt. His cold hands making contact with your skin, sending you shivers.

"Wait." He said, pulling away from you. "Is this okay? Are you okay with this?"

You giggled and nodded, kissing him on the mouth to give him permission.

He cut the kiss short. "I'm sorry, but we live in a litigious society so I'm gonna need a verbal reply from you, especially that you're years younger than me."

You chuckled. "Yes, Mr. Barnes. You have my full consent."

He smirked. "Keep calling me that and I'll give you my full consent."

"Shut up already, Mr. Barnes."

He lifted the hem of your shirt and pulled it over your head, revealing a cotton white bra.

You bit your lip. "If you'd told me about the date, I would've worn a much better one."

"I don't mind." He breathed, sitting up. "I like white on you." He traced the lining of the bra with his finger, together with his eyes. He licked his lower lip before planting a kiss between your breasts. "So pure. Innocent."

"Innocent is not the word to describe me." You smirked. "Remember what I told you before?"

"Hmm, I seem to have forgotten." He teased. "What was it again?"

"I'm a devil on the sheets, Bucky."

"Then show it to me, doll." He purred.

As soon as those words left his mouth, all the worries and fear you talked about with Nat all washed away. And like always, she was again, right.

It was exactly like riding a bicycle.

And you were ready to be in control, in control of a man your senior, and to unleash something inside you you've never seen in quite a while.

You grabbed Bucky's face and kissed him on the mouth while pulling his shirt over his head. Every inch of his naked sculpted upper body glistened under the lights, like dewy grass under the sun.

You kissed his collarbones, shoulders, and chest. Before you could even move on to his tummy, a strong force came, flipping your body, your back hitting the blanket-covered ground.

"But not before I show it to you first." He growled, reaching something from above. He closed the front of the tent, pulling something from above. Within a second, the lights above went dim. The only light you now had was the moonlight.

You liked it this way. Darkness made you feel safe — but it was the kind of darkness with a sliver of light and Bucky was it. The inside of the tent grew hotter, making your body sweat, or perhaps it was just the sexual heat between you and Bucky as Bucky removed your pants, as well as his, leaving you in just your undergarments.

You wrapped your legs around his waist, pressing up against him, making him feel that you were already dripping for him, that you wanted him.

He moaned inside your mouth as you grinded against each other. His teeth pulled your bra down. With your bare chest exposed, you usually had the instinct to cover them up because they were small for people's taste but you didn't do that with Bucky. He admired them with his eyes, and admired them more with his lips wrapped around your nipples, pulling each of them softly. He then left fluttered kisses on your breasts before moving down to your belly, kissing every curve, every wave fold there ever was, and every stretch mark he came across upon.

His mouth stopped right on the folds of your lower belly, his fingers making their way on your wet cotton panties. His lips went back to yours while his fingers were circling all around you, clothed, making you wetter each second. Then, he slipped your panties aside, taking no time at all in inserting a finger inside.

A moan escaped your lips, opening your mouth more, giving access to Bucky's tongue. With another finger slipping inside, you bit Bucky's lower lip, pulled it away from him. He watched you gasp for air, listened to each moan, and felt you deep inside as he continued to thrust his fingers in you.

"You're quite tight, doll." He said. "I'm going for another to ease you up, okay?"

You nodded then whimpered as soon as a third finger made its way inside. Because you were, in his own words, quite tight, Bucky had a bit of a difficult time moving inside. He pulled away after a few moments, giving you time to catch your breath. He folded your knees, and held your legs in place using his veiny hands. He left a trail of soft kisses on your inner thighs, his teeth grazing on your skin every once in a while. You watched him inched forward, nearing your core. You watched him take delight in each mark he imprinted.

He hooked his thumbs on your panties and slowly slid them down your legs. On his knees, he ravished your body with his eyes, then your face. He leaned down, kissing you

"Beautiful." He mumbled in the kiss.

He soon devoured your pussy, his tongue moving up and down your folds, his upper lip nibbling your clit. You closed your yes, threw your head back and raked his hair with your fingers, guiding his mouth deeper. With his mouth still exploring every bit of you, he inserted two fingers inside. You whimpered at the sensation of both his tongue flicking your clit, and his fingers fucking you.

You moaned louder, arching your back, rolling your eyes at the back of your head. You badly wanted to see him, to watch him greedily eat you but his mouth and fingers felt so good that you couldn't even keep your eyes open. The more you tried to, the faster his mouth and fingers moved. It made your legs tremble under his touch, your thighs pressing closer and closer to his ears, which he didn't like as he kept spreading your legs wider with his other hand.

"Bu-Bucky, please." You gasped. "I'm gonna cum."

"No. Not yet."

With that, he released his mouth and fingers, leaving you suspended in ecstasy. You opened your eyes, seeing Bucky on top of you, his face studying you. Then, he brought his fingers — the same ones that were just inside you — to his mouth, licking them. Now, you really did wish you could've kept your eyes open the whole time.

"You taste good, doll." He said, giving you his fingers.

You opened your mouth and reached for his fingers, sliding up and down, the taste of you sitting on your tongue. You could feel Bucky weaken above you as you continued to suck his fingers. Your right hand moved to his boxers, stroking his clothed hard-on. His eyelids quivered for a moment, losing touch of his dominance. You kissed his fingers one last time and flipped him over, not wasting any damn time taking his boxers off.

He sprung up in front of you. He was big (the biggest you've encountered), and was throbbing under your touch. He was hot, and a little bit wet. You looked at him while you pumped him slowly, then kissed him, returning the pleasure. A breath escaped his mouth as your pace went faster, and faster. His body became weaker under you, his lips agape, surrendering to submission, to your dominance.

Bucky felt so fragile underneath you, not being able to regain the control he once had. He wanted this. He wanted you to show him how much of a devil you were.

You pulled away from his mouth and moved lower on his body, his large, throbbing dick between your eyes. You kissed the top, making his legs quiver. You soon took him in — all of him, which made Bucky grab your head, pull your hair, and guide you all the way. You looked at him as you worked him all the way up, then down, then up and down: his mouth was kept open, a series of moans coming out, and at the same time, gasping for air; instead of eyes closed, his eyes were wide open, looking at the unlit lights above him.

Usually, giving head to people wasn't at all satisfying to you. What would it give you, anyway? It was either forced, or just because they told you to suck them. But with Bucky, you didn't even hesitate on doing so. It wasn't an itch you were trying to scratch away. It was on impulse, an instinct, a desire you wanted. And seeing Bucky in this state gave you so much pleasure.

So much.

Bucky let out the loudest moan, sitting up straight, his chest heaving, trying to catch his breath.

"I need you." He rasped. "Now."

You nodded, satisfied with what you received on his end. You straddled him, grinded on his bare dick, and glazed it with your wetness. He groaned, guiding your hips with his one hand, the other on the ground, keeping himself straight up.

"Don't worry. I'm on the pill." you whispered.

"I thought it's been over a year since you — "

"It's for acne, dumbass." You chuckled. "You can cum inside me if you want. You have my full consent."

"Good."

You held onto his broad shoulders as you lowered myself onto him and within a second, you felt his tip inside.

You bit your lip as you inched yourself lower. With his whole inside you, you leaned your forehead on his shoulder, and let out a small whimper.

"Are you okay?" He whispered in your ear. You nodded and placed a kiss on his neck, reassuring him.

You moved your body up and down, biting your lip to keep small cries from coming out, but soon enough, you were taking in pleasure within pain until all there was was pleasure.

Sweet, sweet pleasure.

You bounced on top of him faster, — god, he felt so big and so good in you — skin slapping on skin, echoing against the thin sheets, with his lips on yours, then on your neck, then on your breasts; his hands on your jaw, on your neck, your breasts (sometimes, together with his lips), on the small of your back, on your hips, then on your ass.

"Oh god, you feel so fucking good." Bucky said, kissing your skin as you kept on bouncing on top of him. "But it's my turn, babydoll."

You moaned at the nickname, making your body frail to move and then the next thing you knew, you were flipped over, with Bucky on his knees, thrusting faster, then deeper as he inched forward, your chests pressed together. Your fingers clawed on his back, his hot breath on your neck, your breath on his ear where he could hear you moaning his name.

"That's right." He whispered, kissing your neck. "Say my name."

You wrapped your legs around his waist (a kind of intimacy you had never done before), and with it, pulled him closer, deeper, giving you an astounding pleasure, making your whole body tremble under him, getting you higher and higher on staggering ecstasy, and sending you over your edge.

You cried out his name one last time, feeling your white juices come on his dick, mixed with his inside you.

"My god," he whispered, "I think I could never get enough of you."

"You just read my mind, Mr. Barnes."

"Hey, I feel a whole lot better now." He winked.

You chuckled.

You caught each others' breaths, kissing one last time before he removed himself from you, and laid down beside you where he wrapped his arms and legs around you, your head on his chest. You weren't the one to cuddle but at that moment, your body, frail and vulnerable, gave in. You didn't want to fight it, anyway. You were both surrounded with each others' pool of sweat but it didn't matter.

You were bathing in bliss.

In this bliss he had given you.

"You're not gonna kick me out the next morning, are you?" You asked, half-joking, scared that you'd be in the same position as that of the woman from before.

"No, doll." He replied, "you have my word," then kissed your forehead.

Bucky pulled you closer, his chin on top of your head. You listened to his heartbeat slow down every five seconds, giving you a rhythm you soon fell asleep to.

[dracoladon]

Top 5 of 2020

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 (ish) favourite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

thank u to my lovely @tackytigerfic, @sitp-recs, @bonesliketambourines and @lazywonderlvnd for the tags. i’ve only written three fics this year, so even though this list is abt self love, i’m gna dedicate the last two spots to my two favourite fics i’ve read this year (that were published this year as well😔) cause i love myself for having such talented mutuals :/

1. Born Slippy: God I fucking loved writing Born Slippy. I’m a hoe for a good club fic. The aesthetics of crowded dance floor, loud music, body glitter etc are exquisite and I think (hope) I managed to capture even a little of that in this fic. It’s probably my favourite out of the very few I’ve written, cause I think it’s the one that best encapsulates my writing style and everything I love about Darry and fanfic. There were some banter moments I was really proud of, and the smut was like the embodiment of wanting to read smth with your all your favourite kinks so literally just writing it yourself. I said self indulgence!

2. Lucid: This was the first fic I wrote for Drarry, and for that reason it’s a bit special to me. It was a lot of fun to write and it really helped me figure out what I love writing (dialogue) and what I don’t (the prose in between). I think it had the kind of slice of life feel I was going for. a look in on a relationship that’s already been put through it’s paces and is now purely abt being together. I had an absolute blast with sex dumb Draco and finding a bunch of constellation bullshit for him to spin. I wasn’t expecting the response I got to this fic, either, so overall it just has very warm, lovely memories for me.

oh god and this was also the first fic of mine to get a rec from the absolute goddess that is @sitp-recs. good times indeed 😔

3. Little Spaces: !!! This fic has just been like ridiculously enjoyable to write. Hitting walls is kind of inevitable and doing this w anna was such an amazing way to work through the writer’s block I was having with my other stuff. I’d never written Draco before this, so it’s been super fun further exploring his voice, and I’m very very proud of what we’ve been able to produce together.

4. Inside Your Mind by @lazywonderlvnd

I think I’ve raved about this fic more than once on here before, as well as extensively in the comments on ao3, but seriously. It is.... 🤔 a masterclass in melancholic softness and drarry d/s dynamics. I saw a post not too long ago (which I already sent to anna but she can just deal w it 😡) that said all this stuff abt book harry. how he was passionate and sarcastic and witty and charismatic, and he could be intimidating when he was angry and had this wild intensity. he could be arrogant and humble and kind of an ass but he’s still our precious harry and he’ll be chill and laugh around w u and probably save ur life. i thought it perfectly encapsulated harry as he’s written in the books, and also harry in this fic. anna has an insane ability to write characters just as they are in canon, but also w her own distinct style. it kind of makes me want to cry. IYM’s Harry was charming and gorgeous and imperfect and an idiot, and I loved him. Not to mention Draco 😔. Every scene between the two of them felt so delicate and intricately woven, the smut was beautiful and raw, and the love confession was perhaps my favourite ever. I will forever be in awe of this genius’ talent (there were so many brilliant lines in this fic that I refuse to go hunting for them lest I be tempting into spending the whole day rereading it) and IYM is the absolute pinnacle of that. PLUS goyle, who is tragically underrepresented in fic, soft kissing, sitting by the lake, a stunningly written friendship between the golden trio, and an entire world in thirty thousand words :/ read it and weep :/

5. Modern Love by @tackytigerfic

There are much more eloquent reviews that do this stunning fic the justice it deserves (cough cough sitp) so i shan’t try and compete. I will however say that Modern Love is a magnum opus (tho knowing tacky, and their ever increasing brilliance, that may change) and I absolutely loved it. I haven’t even commented yet, cause though I finished it a few days ago I’m literally still recovering. It’s sad, holy fuck, it is emotional and deep and thoughtful, and it’s Draco in the Muggle world with these original character friends who are so tangible and developed that I feel like i’ve met them in real life. There is a plot that doesn’t distract from the love story, and a love story that doesn’t distract from the achingly slow build of a soft, pining friendship, and a soft, pining friendship that doesn’t distract from Harry and Draco’s own personal character arcs. The ease with which tacky writes our two boys (and writes period) has always amazed me. The talent is in every fucking line, the humour is brilliant and subtle, and the smut is !!! absolutely worth the wait. An aesthetically pleasing masterpiece that I shall always treasure.

[harrysgoldenline]

can i get a harry one shot where you are really insecure about the whole album/ camille thing and u talk to sarah about it and ur crying and harry notices and comes over but u run away and sarah tells him everything and he comes to find you but you pretend like ur fine but he sees through it and he goes off on this lone speech about how much he loves you and how ur the only person he will ever love and u both are just happy it’s out and the open and a happy ending ?

OMG MY FIRST REQUEST!! YES OF COURSE! I REALLY REALLY REALLY HOPE YOU LIKE IT ! and if anyone else has any requests, send them my way!!! :)

——————————————————————————

My Muse

Y/N was distraught.

She loved Harry, his music, his career and could not be more proud of him, his success and who he has become.

Although, she was struggling.

This whole album has been about Harry discovering himself, who he is... but also about his ex-girlfriend Camille.

Y/N knew about Harry everything he went through after their relationship ended, he was struggling greatly. They met around half a year after the break up, but she could see Harry was still struggling. She could see how he would keep to himself around new people, especially out in public. He was quite and wouldn’t speak out much, very different then how their mutual friend, Sarah had always described him.

Sarah has always talked highly of him, being in his band they grew very close and she often got to see how he went through his different writing processes. She saw him before and after shows and she knew him before and after Camille. Something Y/N could not relate to.

As time passed, the two got together, forming what their friends called a power couple. Harry and Y/N were completely inseparable, growing closer and closer as each day passed.

Harry opened up to her a few months into the relationship, sitting her down and letting her know exactly what happened in the relationship and why it was so difficult for him when it ended. He told her that since it was a huge part of the album, he might have to talk about it a bit, without saying names of course but she knew that everyone else already knew who he was going to be talking about.

“It’s okay, Harry. I totally understand. Don’t worry about it.” She would always say, giving him a smile and a soft kiss onto his jawline.

Y/N wasn’t lying, she did understand why and she didn’t want him to worry about her, not now. Not when his second album is taking off, hitting the top of the charts in preorder alone.

She did enjoy the majority of interviews. Hearing him tell funny stories of the writing process, or always getting emotional as he opens up about finding himself, his true sound and how he doesn’t feel like he needs to hold back anymore. But interview after interview, it got harder. Hearing him talk about the love he felt and then the unbearable pain after it was gone. She felt inadequate. Wondering if nothing went wrong, where would she be? Would Harry still fall for her when Sarah introduced him like he said he did?

Although, Y/N never brought up these concerns to him. Especially after the album drop he was on top of the world, explaining how he has never felt happier and more free, but she couldn’t help thinking if he would be happier with her by his side instead.

“Y/N, are you alright?” A voice brings her out, looking up and seeing Sarah standing there at the door, offering her a soft smile.

“Oh hi! Yeah, I’m totally fine don’t worry about me.” She nodded, looking back at the monitor, watching Harry messing around on stage with Mitch after finishing up a soundcheck nearly a minute ago. They often liked to stay for a while, messing around on stage, this often gave Sarah and Y/N sometime to catch up as their boys hung out together.

“Are you sure, sweetheart?” She asked, eyebrows furrowing as she sat next to her on the couch, “Cmon (Y/N), you know you can trust me with anything.”

“How’d Harry do?” She asked, trying to ease in, hearing Harry strum in the background to Cherry, causing Y/N to bite her bottom lip.

“Good... was just a sound check. Everything running fine- seriously what’s going on?” Sarah insisted, interrupting herself.

“What was he like? With her?”

A silence fills the room until Sarah let’s out a sigh, muttering a soft ‘oh honey’ before scooting closer, arms going around her friend protectively. Sarah knew she was struggling, but with it being such a difficult subject, she didn’t want to pry too much. She wanted to wait until Y/N was ready to confide in her, but instead she bottled it up.

“Fuck, sorry I shouldn’t have asked thats... sorry it’s none of my business.” Y/N quickly says, forcing a laugh and wiping her eyes, standing up quickly and going to look for her purse.

“You have nothing to apologize for. I know how hard this has been for you.” Her friend agrees, standing and following her, “have you and Harry talked about it? Talked about how this has been for you?”

Y/N shook her head, biting her lip hard as her eyes were squeezed shut, knowing if she spoke a word she would break down, she had been holding it in for too long.

“Do you wanna talk about it with him?”

She shrugged at this, honestly not knowing the answer. If she did, she didn’t know if Harry would stop all together, making his album less authentic or If he would be upset she held it in, or even said anything about it at all. But she genuinely didn’t know if she could hold it in any longer.

“You can tell me.” Sarah nodded, hugging her tightly, “let it out.”

“It hurts” Y/N breaks, letting out a sob, “it seems like- like all he talks about is her! And I know he wrote this whole thing before we met and- do you think he still loves her?”

“Y/N, no.” She says, pulling her back and wiping the tears from her friends face, “I’ve seen this man before, during and after both of you, and I have never seen him this happy. Ever”

She shakes her head, not believing her. “It can’t be me. It’s the album, the success! He’s himself now, so that’s what’s making him happy. I didn’t help him- she did.”

“Y/N stop” Sarah demanded, grabbing her shoulders and moving her hair out of her face, “Harry is in love with you! I remember him coming to me, asking me for advice when you went out on your first date.”

She shakes her head, disbelief and doubt being pumped through her veins, “it just doesn’t make sense! Look at her and then look at me. Who would you choose?”

“You”

“Stop.” She argues, rolling her eyes, “she’s skinnier and prettier and older! She’s way older than me, way older than him. Is that what he wants? I’m younger than him, Sarah. Young enough where there’s a million articles about it.”

“You’re going to make yourself sick if you don’t calm down.” Sarah demands, “please? Just calm down and we can talk about this. What does your age have to do with anything? You’re so beautiful, Y/N.”

“No, I should stop. Mitch and Harry will be back any second.” She sniffles, looking at herself in the mirror and sighing, dabbing at the skin around her eyes to try and depuff them.

“You can’t hold this in.” Sarah whispers, hugging her friend again, “please? Talk to me?”

“I love him and it’s scary because I don’t know-“ Y/N begins but quickly stops, hearing her boyfriends loud laughter, soon getting louder as he opened the door.

Y/N shoots Sarah a sympathetic look, silently begging her to remain quiet and not say a word, which she nods, giving Mitch and Harry a smile as they walk in the door, each boy going to each of them.

“Hey babe!” Harry smirks, kissing her before pulling back, eyebrows furrowing together and he lowers his voice, “are you alright? You look like you’ve been crying.”

“I’m okay!” She smiles, “poked my eye when I was fixing my makeup. Anyways, what are you guys up to?”

“We were gonna go grab some food before the show! Where do you wanna go?” He asks, hands going around her waist.

“Oh I’m not hungry.” She quickly responds, “been feeling a bit off all day so I might stay behind. I wanna feel better for your show.”

Harry frowns, pulling her closer to him before leading her out of the lounge room, leaving Mitch and Sarah as they continue their own conversation. Harry leads her off to his private dressing room.

“What’s up?” He frowns, lifting his hand to her face and rubbing her cheek softly, “what happened?”

“Nothing, Harry.” She smiles, her heart growing at his concern. Yet, she knows she can’t tell him. Not now, hours before his mini Fine Line show in London. The last thing she wants to be is a distraction, “don’t worry about me, really! And I feel like I’ve been budging in too much, go bond with the band!”

“You’re not interrupting anything. I want you here.”

“I know and I appreciate that, really, love being around you and everybody.” She giggles, “but I’m not gonna be there the whole tour and I gotta get used to that.”

“I wish you could be.” He frowns, pulling her right against his chest, “always want you next to me.... or below me.”

“Harry!” She laughed, pulling back and playfully pushing him, “you’re crazy.”

“Crazy for you, my love.” He dopily smirks, kissing her, softly.

She giggled against his lips, pulling him closer for another, each kiss making her worries drift further and further away. Mind reeling as his hands fall down her waist, gripping her bum as he pushes her closer, his lips falling down to her neck.

“Hey man, Sar-“ Mitchs voice causing them to jump away from each other, the three of them turning red as he clears his throat, “Um- sorry. I was just saying that Sarah said she’s gonna take a nap before the show too so I think it’s just just gonna be us and the other guys.”

“Sounds good!” He smirks, feeling a bit smug after what Mitch just walked in on, he turns back to Y/N, tucking a hair behind her ear, “you can stay in here if you want, lock the door and take a nap or whatever you need. Nobody should bother you and I’ll be back before you know it. Okay?”

She nodded, thanking him before pressing a kiss to his lips, “I love you, Harry.”

“I love you more, babygirl.” He smiles, kissing the top of her head before waving goodbye, following Mitch out.

She sighs, falling back on the couch and closing her eyes, mind muddled with confusion. Moments like that make her feel so silly, wondering why she ever worried in the first place. She does trust Harry, she doesn’t worry about him going out to try and find someone else, but she always wonders if he prefers to be with her, just has Y/N because he doesn’t have that option anymore.

She can’t help but lay awake, spending many sleepless nights just comparing herself to her. Camille was beautiful, and nobody could deny that. She had such grace and Y/N felt like her French accent and demeanor made her much more interesting then her own plain American ways. She wonders if Harry wishes Y/N was older, rather than being multiple years younger. She wondered if it annoyed him, bothered him that she had a great lack of experience. Harry was all she’d ever known and all she wants forever.

But did he feel the same? Did he actually love her? Does he actually find her as beautiful as he said? She found it hard to believe, especially seeing all he has had in the past. It makes her feel guilty, guilty for feeling so upset and hurt by seeing and hearing about people he was with prior, even though they’d never met at the time.

The door swings open, startling her and causing her to jump and heart to pound as she prepared what she would say next to Sarah, but it wasn’t her, it was Harry.

“What? What are you doing here?” She rushes, clutching her chest to try and calm her racing heart, I thought you were going to get food? Did you forget something?”

“Yes.” He mumbles, sinking down onto the couch next to her and holding her face in his hands, “I forgot to tell you how important you are to me. More than any album, place on the charts, anything.”

“W-what? Where is this coming from, Bubs?”

“Sarah told me what you said to her.” He frowns, eyes sparkling, “and I’m the biggest fucking arsehole I didn’t stop to talk to you about it once. To stop and actually ask you about it.”

“Harry, really, I’m just being-“

“Y/N listen, you are the best thing to ever happen to me. You’re my person. You’re it for me.” He whispers, leaning his forehead against her, tears forming in her eyes as she’s filled with so many emotions, “you gotta believe me, lovie.”

“I love you, Harry.” She sniffles, “I believe you, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, you didn’t do anything wrong. This is all my fault. I should’ve talked to you more, I didn’t even think about how hard this would be for you, I’m so sorry.” He rambles, “you are the love of my life Y/N. Yes, I was in love before but this? With you? It’s so strong and real and terrifying. I’ve never felt this before. I want to be with you. Forever. Nobody else. And I cannot begin to tell you how sorry I am to not have made that clear.”

“I should’ve told you from the beginning how I felt.” She admits, “I don’t want you to stop talking about it in interviews if that’s what you want to say, you should say it. It’s just really hard to hear you talk about her all the time.”

“I’m sorry my love. I don’t deserve you, don’t deserve your support.” He whispers, kissing her hands, “I am so beyond lucky to have you. You are the most beautiful, kind, considerate woman in the whole world. I don’t know how I got you.”

“Stop it.” She blushes, bringing her hands away from his lips and up to his face, shaking her head in disbelief, wondering how he even existed, “you are truly the most perfect man.”

“Now you stop.” He chuckles, cheeks turning pink, “I’m praising you here... really though love. You are my muse. I have millions of songs written about you.”

“Really?” She whispers, eyes wide, “you’re not just saying that?”

“What do you think Mitch and I are doing all the time?” He laughs, “we make Sarah go because we know she’d tell!”

“Well you’re right, because she told you what I said after I told her not too.” She blushes, looking down at her lap.

“Oh stop that you know she did the right thing.” He laughs, dragging her a bit closer to him so her legs lay over his lap, “Honestly, I was scared to show you them, thought I was open before wait till you hear these.”

“Can I? Can I hear them? Please?”

“I guess since you have good manners.” He smirks, pulling her on top of him. She giggles and he pulls her onto his lap, “you can hear ‘em all. Don’t know what I was waiting for... guess I was just scared?”

“Of what, Bubby?” She frowns, arms resting around his shoulders as she looks up at him.

“I don’t know... I just... I know you’re the one, so it’s kinda scary I guess...not knowing if you feel the same.”

“I do.” She squeaks, “I love you so much- wanna be with you forever.”

“Yeah?” He smirks, squeezing her hips tight causing her to squeal, falling into him, “I’ve been yours since the day we met. You inspire me, Y/N. You are my muse. I’d choose you over anyone. You are my priority.”

He leans in, kissing her softly, almost as if he was afraid of breaking her in two. His lips fell to her neck, sucking on her favorite spot and her grip tightened on him, head falling to the side a bit and she lets out a soft whimper.

“Harry, please...” she squeaked, hips pressing down into him involuntarily.

“I’m gonna take care of you.” He whispers lowly, pulling up the bottom of her dress and over her head, “gonna take care of you until the day I die, my love.”

[yikesharringrove]

the fic you wrote for my last prompt was amazing, ty 😭 can you do 50 + 56 this time please? and if you want to work in dyslexic!steve too that would be awesome! 🥰

You are speaking my fuckin’ language, dyslexic Steve is my ABSOLUTE jam. Honestly, whenever I write Steve, he’s dyslexic, although sometimes it’s not mentioned because it’s not important to Harry’s journey @ jk rowling

Thank you for your request! I’m really glad you liked the other one I wrote! You’re anonymous so I don’t know which one that is but I really enjoyed writing them all! Sorry for my manic energy rn.

Something a little different, it’s modern au! This is probably nothing like what you were thinking so I’m sorry, but I kinda love it ngl.

50: Secret Admirer

56: “I don’t know if I should be flattered or offended.”

Prompt list!

Billy spent three and a half hours reading through every single tweet on the account.

There were so fucking many of them. The earliest one was timestamped from four days ago, so obviously, this person had no life outside of tweeting.

Tweeting about Billy.

He had a few personal favorites. He had retweeted them to his account, figuring may as well play it up, make a joke outta everything.

@ImHardForHargrove: sorry WHOMST gave you the RIGHT to have eyes that fuckin blue im YELLING

@ImHardForHargrove: watchin u play basketball is a religious experience y are ur arms so BIG hhnnnng

And Billy’s absolute favorite, which he pinned right at the top of his account

@ImHardForHargrove: ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass

Billy knew he looked good. Knew he turned heads wherever he went. He did that on purpose. But realizing someone at Hawkins High had set up a thirst account for him, well.

“I don’t know if I should be flattered or offended.” Billy had explained the situation to Robin, letting her go through the account on his phone. “Like, It’s kinda nice, whoever this guy is, he’s got a crush. But also like, It’s kinda creepy. Plus he’s objectifying me,” Billy was talking through his sandwich.

Robin made a face of disgust. “Why do you keep saying ‘he’? All of the girls in this fucking school are practically drooling for you.”

“Hard for Hargrove, Robin. I know you’re like, revolted by the peen and whatever but that does not excuse a lack of basic sexual education and anatomy.” She gagged at him. Honest to God, gagged. He thought she was gonna spew all over the table.

“If I ever hear you call it a peen ever again, it’s on sight Hargrove.” Heather plopped herself down next to Robin, kissing her cheek before zeroing in on Billy’s phone, still in Robin’s hand.

“Have you guys worked out who it could be yet?” Her eyes were wide at Billy.

“Billy says he thinks its a guy even though people with penises aren’t necessarily men.” Robin gave him a pointed look.

“Yeah Robin, I know that, but, I don’t know I just think it’s a guy penis-having person.”

Heather narrowed her eyes at him. “Do you actually think that, or are you just hoping in that goblin little brain of yours that this account is Steve Harrington’s.” Billy could feel the heat spread down his neck.

“Billy, I know Steve is like, the only out guy in this whole fucking town, but you can do way better than him.  PLUS, I feel like it makes more sense if the person running this account wasn’t out and had to channel their gay yearning through social media.”

“First of all Robin, you have this vendetta against Steve that I don’t get. He’s a nice guy. He’s kinda dopey, kinda dumb, but he’s like, sweet and shit. Second, I’m not out, so it still could be him because he doesn’t think I would, like, accept his advances or whatever. Hence, gay internet yearning.” The chime of the bell sent them packing their lunches, Billy’s phone vibrated in Robin’s hand. She rolled her eyes when he realized he turned on notifications for the account

“Get a fucking life you loser.” She slapped the phone into his hand. He opened the new tweet with embarrassing zeal.

@ImHardForHargrove: i saw u talking with ur mouth full and it was yucky but i was still  🥺🥺

His head shot up, trying to see who would have been facing him during lunch, but the cafeteria was almost empty.

The rest of the week Billy took deliberate care of every interaction he had with anyone. Observing who was in his surroundings, and making note of everything he did and said. He took extra caution around Steve, wanting to spot any minute detail that could give away who ran the account.

The account started blowing up. People were retweeting like fucking crazy. Everywhere he went, he was being asked if he’s seen it, like he doesn’t regularly retweet the good ones. The search for the owner of the account had spread throughout the whole school. A few girls even tried to claim the account was theirs, but every time that happened the account would tweet out something to discredit whoever made the claim, proving them a liar.

Billy was starting to lose hope it was Harrington. The tweets were coming at all different times, posted whenever the person thought about it, so Billy was losing track of who was near when he said or did something. And the tweets were always about stupid stuff Billy didn’t register doing. On Wednesday night the account said

@ImHardForHargrove: hi when you chew on your pencil and it makes me 🥴 that is all thx for comin to my ted talk

Friday afternoon gave them all:

@ImHardForHargrove: walked past ur classroom and u were asleep ive never wanted to CUDDLE someone so bad in my LIFE

But Saturday, Saturday renewed all hope for Harrington Billy could possibly have. Lauren Kranz was throwing a party. It was the first real rager in a while, so everyone was there, and everyone was sloshed. Everyone but Billy, who’d agreed to be designated driver for Robin and Heather like some kinda idiot.

He was brooding on the back porch when his phone went off. The account was active, and the owner was drunk.

@ImHardForHargrove: I can seeeeee u oyt the windw I wan u 2 FUC ME. RAW DOG.

@ImHardForHargrove: srry ur so beauitiful nd THICCC

@ImHardForHargrove: I wana shoot my shot but idk if u lik bois

@ImHardForHargrove: (ys i am boi)

@ImHardForHargrove: nd i dont wana get my heart broken agin 😥

He was right about it being a guy. He was right about him being too nervous to approach him outright. His brain was screaming stevestevesteve at him. Hawkins was shook when Steve came out as bisexual in his sophomore year. He was the golden boy, a real jock. He was NOT the kind of guy people would assume queer in a small midwestern town.

He was kind of a douchebag, dumping one girl for another, sleeping with her and never calling again. But then he settled down with this guy from the University of Indianapolis for a few months until Steve caught him cheating. Apparently, he had slashed the guy’s tires. Billy was impressed.

The next year came Wheeler, who only stuck around long enough to make sure Steve was nice and whipped before she fucked off on him too. So Steve retreated. Spent more time with middle schoolers than anybody else. Didn’t want to put his heart on the line anymore until he knew it wouldn’t be stomped on.  Billy could respect that.

Billy couldn’t risk being out in a town like Hawkins. Word always had a way of getting right back to his dad, and in a tiny hick town with nothing better to do than gossip, it was usually only a matter of hours before Neil heard something he didn’t like.

@ImHardForHargrove: srry 4 bad typing rn. drunk nd dysl exic ren’t a happy combo

Billy’s heart stopped. The drunken idiot was giving himself away. Maybe if he sat here staring at the account long enough, enough would be revealed he could figure it all out like a shitty drunk episode of Blue’s Clues.

He was so focused on Twitter, refreshing his feed, again and again, he didn’t notice a very drunk, and very unsteady Steve Harrington stumbling out the back door towards him. Until he crashed into his back.

“Sorry, Bill!” Billy had Steve by the shoulders trying to keep him upright. “Heyy I have a question for you.” Steve grabbed one of Billy’s hands and veered over to the table and chairs arranged neatly on the small patio. When they were sitting, Steve kept ahold of Billy’s hand.

“Hi.” Steve was smiling like a little kid. Billy was in fucking love.

“hey, Harrington. What was your question.”

“So-oo. I have this friend. A very good friend. Super close. And he has a big ol’ crush on you but he’s too scared to ask you himself because he keeps getting his heart fuckin’ broken so he wanted me to ask. Are you into guys?” It’s a miracle Billy understood any of that, every word blending into the next.

“That depends.” Billy leaned in, running his tongue along his bottom lip. He saw Steve take in a sharp breath, following the movement with his glazed eyes. He knew Steve was talking about himself, he just wanted to rile him up a little. Make him blush first. “This friend you’re talkin’ about. He’s our age? Like you’re not trying to set me up with one a’ your kids, right?” Steve physically recoiled.

“NO, you fuckin’ pedo. I’m NOT trying to set you up with a fuckin’, fuckin’ middle schooler. My friend is, uh eighteen. He’s a senior.” Unless Tommy fuckin’ H. suddenly had a penchant for dick Billy didn’t know about, Steve was 100% talking about himself.

“Well, if he’s as pretty as you are, I’d love to go out with him sometime.” Billy winked. Steve went red.

“Okay, but like, does that mean you’d go out with me? Like I’m as pretty as me, right? Because I was talking about me. Not ‘a friend’ I was talking about me. Steve.”

“Yeah, I kinda figured that out. You know, I was hoping it was you running that Twitter. Any time you’d tweet out something you wanted to do with me, I was always picturin’ doing it with you, Baby.” Billy was practically purring. “Especially all the shit you wanted me to do TO you.” Steve gave something between a whine and a groan and flopped himself onto Billy’s lap, straddling him with very little grace.

“Thank God. ‘Cause you’re so fucking hot I’d let you do anything to me. Anything, Bill.” Billy smiled softly at him.

“Then let me take you home. Let me put you in bed to sleep off all this. And let me take you to breakfast tomorrow. Something nice and greasy for your hangover tummy.” Steve was a puddle in Billy’s lap. “C’mon, Drunky, git your ass up.” Steve just giggled and muttered Drunky Skunky under his breath.

Billy sighed and stood up, hefting Steve up with him.

“Bil-ly,” Steve whined. “You’re so strong, this is so fucking hot. I gotta tweet about this.”

“Tweet it later, Sweet Thing.”

It took Billy for-fucking-ever to find Robin and Heather (they were making out in the basement with the stoners). But Steve chirped and cooed into his ear, so happy Billy could lift him and hold him like it was nothing.

The last tweet from the account was timestamped from Sunday evening.

@ImHardForHargrove: Hi this is Steve. Billy’s my boyfriend now 🥰#ThirstWorks

[kalypsichor]

and they were quARANTINED [a beatles fic] - ch 1

summary: George takes a shit. Ringo braves a trip to the tescos and loses a bit of his soul. John harrasses the general public and Paul’s just trying to get them home before they kill each other. All while a virus tears the world apart.

warnings: CRACK (not cocaine), geo’s bad potty habits, ringo’s copious use of emojis

so, this is different... but i’ve always been a crack fic writer at heart. this is the result of being quarantined myself due to COVID-19. i’ve been seeing so much fear and frustration and hatred that i just wanted to write about it kinda cathartically. enjoy!

Unfortunately, George doesn’t realize that they’re out of toilet paper until after he’s taken a shit.

“Fuck,” he mutters. “Ringo?”

No answer.

“Ringooooooooo. RINGO!!!”

George’s legs are starting to lose feeling. He bounces them up and down a bit and the motion almost makes him drop his phone in the toilet.

“RICHARD FUCKING STARKEY!”

There’s the sound of footsteps and then a pause before Ringo answers.

“What’s up?”

“What took you so long?”

“Had my headphones in. Sorry I couldn’t be at your beck and call, O Lord of the Loo.”

“SHUT up. Look, do we have any more loo roll?”

A pause. “Why, are we out?”

George rolls his eyes so hard he sees stars. “No, I’m askin’ for the banter.”

“I’ll go check. Don’t move!”

George can almost see the shit-eating (heh) grin on his mate’s face as he walks away. With a sigh and some choice curse words that would make Louise cry, George pulls out his phone again. Opens Twitter. Sees yet another tweet from that spraytanned clown across the pond. Closes Twitter and contemplates deleting it. After about three rounds of this, Ringo comes back and knocks on the door.

“We’re all out. Got you some tissues, though.”

Krishna help me. George tips his head back against the wall and thumps it a few times for good measure.

“Thanks,” he says flatly. “Could you- ?”

The door opens just a smidge before he can finish talking there’s a flying blur of Kleenex box, a blinding pain in the side of his head, and a sickening crACK—

***

“I’m really sorry,” Ringo says for the millionth time, hovering over George as he examines the spiderweb of cracks on his phone screen. George huffs. He wants to be mad, he really does, but Ringo’s face is doing that stupid thing where his eyes are very, very blue and droopy and his teeth are worrying his bottom lip and it’s obvious that he’s genuinely remorseful and—fuck, he’s got it bad.

“It’s fine,” George insists, even though he can hear his bank account having a fit. “Piece of shit phone, anyway. And look, it still works!” Very shittily, his brain adds, but that’s what you get with a five year old phone.

The older boy’s eyes still have an unconvinced, sad look about them and George wishes he could kiss it away. No homo, though.

“How can I make it up to you?” George’s brain does a slutdrop into the gutter. “I’ll… I’ll get the groceries! How ‘bout that?”

“NO!” Scrambling off the couch, George just barely misses smacking noses with Ringo. “What about the… the virus?”

“I’ll wear a mask and all. Wash hands for twenty seconds, stay six feet away from people… am I missing anything?”

“Yeah, the quarantine bit.”

Ringo snorts and puts a hand on George’s arm. “Quit your worrying, Geo. I’ll be fine. Haven’t John and Paul been out all day?”

***

John and Paul want to go the fuck home. They’d walked all the way to a new art gallery opening only to find out it was cancelled (“Why didn’t you check Google?” “Why didn’t you?”). And now, both being tired as hell from their long trek, they couldn’t even flag down a single cab to take them home.

“This is the worst thing ever,” John cries, flopping his entire body down on a park bench. Paul rolls his eyes and lifts up John’s stupidly long legs so he can sit down as well.

“People are dying, John.”

“I feel like I’m dying.”

“John.”

“Okay, fine, maybe I’m being dramatic. But this stupid… thing… is fucking up all our plans!”

“It’s not fucking Voldemort, you can say the name.”

“Alright, fine. Coronavirus. CORONAVIRUS. You happy, Paul?”

A woman hurrying by shoots them a wide-eyed, nervous look and crosses the street, tugging a little boy by the hand.

“... bitch.”

“Jesus, John.” Paul pinches the bridge of his nose. “I’d do that too if some rando was shouting in the streets.”

“Yeah, but she didn’t hafta shoot that nasty look at us… did you see that? Paul?”

“Hold on, hold on.” His phone is vibrating in his pocket and he fumbles to pull it out. “Your stupid legs are in the way.”

John huffs and makes a show of wiggling said legs, almost kicking Paul in the face. Still, he tucks them to his chest (flexible, Paul thinks and then instantly regrets) so that Paul can take out the buzzing rectangle.

--

bongo: do u or john want anything? 🤔🤔

bongo: like groceries

bongo: going to tescos

Shouldnt you be quarantining?

bongo: ur literally at an art museum 😂

It’s a gallery

And it got cancelled :/

bongo: oop sorry m8 thats tough

bongo: srsly tho whaddaya want

We need more vegetables. Carrots, etc

--

“Tell him to get cornflakes,” John says, peering over Paul’s shoulder. He’s sat up and practically draped over Paul’s lap. Paul sighs and shoves his legs off, ignoring the indignant squawk the other boy makes when he almost falls off the bench.

--

Also that cornflake cereal stuff

bongo: k

bongo: tell john i said hi

Heyyyyyy rich wots up

Paulie’s being a bitch he pushed me :((((

Why is his auto caps on lsdnfol

--

“Give it back!”

“Ow! Ow stop hitting me Jesus fuckin-”

--

Sorry that was john

bongo: yeah i could tell lmao

bongo: where are u guys??

Stuck at some park. Can’t get any cabs home

bongo: well duh coronavirus 😷😷😷

bongo: bad time to be a cabbie man 😔

Yeah yikes

Pick up some rice for george too

And hand sanitizer

bongo: ill try but twitter says handsan itizer is going fast

bongo: what the fuc why did it space like that

Lol

bongo: oh also

bongo: geos being a mother hen and making me wear a face mask

bongo: u know where they are?

Second drawer down in the bathroom, behind the rubber gloves

bongo: … how did u reply SO fast

Uh i know where things are in our flat? Like a normal person?

bongo: thats sus but ok

bongo: wow theyre actually here

bongo: okay imma head out before it gets dark

What’s after dark? Zombies?

bongo: u never no

bongo: *no

bongo: FUCKING *KNOW

Nice

Okay stay safe ritch

bongo: 😘🙃👍🏼✌🏼✌🏼🌈🌟🥦🥦🥦☮️

***

Ringo has never seen this many people at Tesco in his entire life. Two grown men are having a full on argument in the pastries. A harried-looking dad almost knocks Ringo into a rack of Twinkies, pulling along two screaming kids with one slung on his hip. And… is that person actually wearing a Hazmat suit??

“This is insane,” Ringo mutters to himself, slightly muffled due to the face mask. He just needs to find the loo roll and then he’s going to yeet outta here ASAP.

Okay, hygiene aisle… here we g—what the—

The entire aisle is empty.

It’s like a goddamn Old Western. Just add a cow skull… cue the tumbleweed… and it would be perfect.

Not for the first time that day, Ringo sends a prayer to whoever is listening above. There’s got to be something left. He walks down to the end of the aisle. Walks back. Jumps a couple times to check if there’s anything on the top shelf. Sincerely hopes no one just saw him do that. Finally, shoved at the very back behind a couple of Always boxes, Ringo digs out a dusty as shit six-pack of toilet paper.

Well. It’ll have to do.

As he’s walking to the check out lines, a woman drops her bottle of hand sanitizer. It rolls across the floor in a perfect arc and Ringo scoops it up before it can get too far.

“Oops, you dropped this!” He says cheerily, handing it to her. Well, trying to. The woman makes a strangled noise in the back of her throat, physically flinches away from his outstretched hand, and almost drops the rest of her groceries. Before Ringo can react, she’s disappeared behind the produce aisle.

Ringo’s arm falls to his side. He stares at the space where she was just a second ago and holds in a scream.

“More for us, I guess.”

***

By the time Ringo reaches the flat, he’s ready to never see another person again. He trudges right past George in the kitchen, dropping the groceries on the table with a thwack. John hums a greeting to him in the living room and offers him a biscuit.

“No thanks,” Ringo says. He faceplants into the couch.

Something clinks onto the coffee table. Well, coffee table is one way to put it; it’s more of a hunk of stone from back when Paul thought he was going to be the next Michelangelo and get really into classical sculpture. It now sits in the living room and primarily holds George’s textbooks, plus takeout for whenever they don’t feel like cooking (which is all the time), so you can see how that panned out for Paul.

“Tea for you,” George says. He plops onto the floor between the couch and the table and runs a friendly, comforting hand through Ringo’s hair. Ringo practically purrs, leaning into the touch, and George feels his heart melt and trickle through his ribs. “You okay?”

“I’ve lost all faith in humanity,” Ringo mumbles into the cushion. John reaches over and pats him on the back.

“Don’t worry, Ringo. There won’t be any humans to have faith in soon.”

George throws a packet of sugar at John who dodges it, snickering. Ringo groans and tries to sink even deeper into the couch.

And that’s when they hear Paul scream.

[selfcareparker]

(lovely anon) ok so this may sound so dramatic but; let me paint you a picture: i’m responding to your latest message, sitting on the edge of the sofa. i type in “lovely anon” into the search and see this longgg post come up and i’m like uhhh... i scroll down and see the people you tagged and literally. when i saw @ lovely anon. i . cried . like full on tears. my brother goes “what are you doing” “she tagged meeeee” and he continued what he was doing and didn’t care LMAOO but i was so emotional? i love and appreciate you too and aAH IM CRYING!! you’re just really sweet and i didn’t expect it at all and it was really lovely to be a part of something :’)

the kermit pic sent meee but yes yes yes!! when you start uni let me know, lol i’m so excited for you!! let me know how it goes cuz i’m literally hype hahah & yes we will be in our sad corners of the world, missing england but you’re right it’ll be sooooo worth it in the end!!! and oH i’m glad you talk to them lol i truly thought you like haven’t seen them/haven’t spoken to them this whole time😭 that would’ve been awful!

also i totallyyy get what your saying about the english speaking thing. and idk why you’re insecure (well i *knowww* bc it’s not your first language and you’re studying it in college so yuh) but your english is great :)))

lol yeah that makes sense.. my mom took french in college and she remembers NOTHING HDJSHSJ (the fact that you wanna learn MORE languages i- ahh i so admire you.. you literally know so many languages🥺) yea i mean you know a bunch of languages bc you know the base of words lol, but i wonder if because you know latin it’ll be easier for you to learn french? oh- oh wait you said it’ll be easier HAHHAHA

THERES SO MUCH EXCITING STUFF TO TALK ABOUT HDGSJSJSL it’s so wild to me that you can’t watch chaos walking :( i’m a professional hacker tho so i’ll try and find a way for you LMAO (by professional hacker i mean i literally have gotten multiple free trials and i’m pretty sure the hulu police are after me bUT ITS THEIR FAULT BC WHY IS IT SO EXPENSIVE???) i mean the movie was good? and cute? and funny? but yea don’t think it’s gonna be the most fantastic thing haha AND THE DOGGO AWWW (i saw it again today- or my today lol, saturday, aND THESE OLD PEOPLE CAME AND SAT IN FRONT OF ME AND MY FRIEND LIKE ITS A LONG STORY LMK IF YOU WANNA HEAR IT)

SHARK FILMS?!?!! PLEASE READING THIS I HAD NO IDEA YOU WOULD LIKE SHARK MOVIES TOO FHSKSHSHDJDJGAJAYSJS ok so i haven’t seen any of the classics (i’m working on it) but i would probably watch jaws to laugh at it? not like that lmao but like comparing it. OKAY BUT HONESTLY I BARELY KNOW ANYONE WHO LIKES SHARK FILMS AHHH OKAY im adding “the shallows” to my watchlist bc it sounds super good AND SAME AHSJD ANY BODY OF WATER IN A MOVIE I JUST KNOW ITS COMING LMAO watch me not go in the water anymore after seeing that picture HHDJSJ

WHEN I READ THIS I JUST GOT DONE TALKING TO MY MOM ABOUT THE MEG AND THAT SCENE WHERE THE SHARKKK JUMPEDDDD AND ATE THE OTHER ONEEEE AND THEN JONAS HAD TO DO- bro i cannot (i think that one is my favorite because i love me a bit of romance and the subtle romance hAD ME) 47 meters down PHEW could you imagine?? i try not to think too hard about it i’m like “don’t be dumb catherine, don’t put yourself in a dumb situation” (not autocorrect having “dumb bitch” ready i am not lying) and i literally understand... there is no other way to explain 47 meters down

i CANNOT watch horror movies, can’t can’t can’t, i literally hate them i cannot do it!!! the thrill is tempting and it’s cool in the moment but i cant lmao. i don’t have nightmares about scary things (for the majority of the time) but going to sleep i’m like oooohhhhhh shit 🥲 literally what you explained

music !!!! music !!!! music !!!! (u ever write a word and now it looks weird lmao) MY BROTHER DOESNT LIKE MUSIC AND ITS SHIT IM LIKE WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU- anyway, my music taste is all over the place i mean......... it’s crazy. earlier today i was listening to meghan trainor’s album “title” oUT OF NOWHERE, but just a few minutes ago i was listening to fall in love with me by earth wind and fire soooo lol .. megan is *chefs kiss*, i’m not familiar with stormzy🙈, harry styles.... IM SORRY IM THAT PERSON but i don’t listen to his solo music EEK i only listen to adore you... and not that frequently... the music video freaked me out... i like niall’s solo music a lot more, which i listen to a lot more. now. one direction. favorite. please & thank you. i have a playlist called “boy bands” and it consists of one direction and the vamps (obsessed with cherry blossom btw) but as you can see my taste is all over the place!! fr fr if i sent you what apple music has as my “favorites” it went from ariana grande to carrie underwood to glee (OBSESSED DONT LET ME TALK ABOUT IT) i mean please if you let me i will nonstop (hamilton HDJSH) talk about music all day😩 & NOOO UR MUSIC IS GREAT HAHSK IM NOT A BIG RAP PERSON BUT DOJA CAT IS MY FAVORITE!!

okay good, i’m glad :) i was just nervous that you did feel that way <3 and GOT IT HAHAJ healthy pressure is always good :’) my friend got me these pens cuz i love stationary and school supplies lol and was like “now you have to write something” soooo yea i feel that! and i saw you posted the ficcccccc literally so proud of you 🥺🥺 i’m trying to decide if i read it tomorrow or tonight..... sleep or a literal beautiful creation made by the sweetest person and is v v nice smut and college!peter and 4.7k...... sleep aint really calling no more.

GIRL ALL OF MY SENTENCES ARE TOO LONG HAHAHAH IN FACT THIS IS TOO LONG SOOO (also why am i 3 days late..😑) anywho it’s 1 in the morning so <33 lovely anon

🥰

oh my god the fact that you cried nearly made me cry too😭😭🥺🥺 (also, your brother LMAO), i wasn‘t even sure if you‘d see it but i immediately thought of you so of COURSE i included you <333

the hulu police lsjsjaiaik, girl i was ready to get a hulu membership when i wanted to watch big time adolescence and i couldn‘t find it anywhereee, and when i got to the payment it said i need a bank account that‘s based in the US or whatever. like bro i was about to pay you!! but i was forced to find it somewhere (and i did, on levidia,— not that i‘ve ever used it because it‘s illegal 😤 i would never!!! i‘d rather support billion dollar companies and spend my money on watching films that i can find for free 🥰🥰🥰 not

i‘ve found chaos walking online so i‘ll watch it som time this week!! also YES TELL ME THE STORY

okay so idk if you watched/are planning on watching falcon and winter soldier but i watched the first episode the other day and they were speaking french (just a few seconds) and I UNDERSTOOD SOME WORDS DLDJDJ and i was so proud of myself. i‘ve only ever learned french with duolingo lol (i only do like 5 mins a day and that‘s why i was so surprised that i understood some of it!!). and yeah apart from latin i feel like italian, german, french and english are all similar in a sense.. i mean obviously they‘re completely different languages but for example there are some grammatical constructions in french that i think i wouldn‘t understand if i only spoke english? so when i translate those things into english you can‘t directly translate them bc you say things differently, but when i translate them into german then it makes more sense to me. idk that‘s something i noticed so i feel like if you already know multiple languages it‘s easier to learn another language compared to if you only know one language and are trying to learn a second one. even if the languages aren‘t similar then i think you get the hang of it easier.

ikd slsjsjs also i don‘t want you to think that i‘m a linguistic genius or anything lmfao, like i‘m only fluent in english and german and i‘m just a wannabe (ew that word) polyglot sksj (yes i had to google polyglot— i do think learning ancient greek would be super cool tho? like imagine studying latin AND ancient greek, whew). and honestly i don‘t think i‘ll ever be fluent in another language bc i don‘t plan on living anywhere other than germany or possibly england and i‘m not dedicated enough to properly learn any other languages esp if i don‘t have anyone to speak the language with. but i still try my best and i just love language/languages as a whole so yeah i‘m happy & just learning as much as i can dkdjh🥰

(I guess language/linguistics are/is my passion (which sounds sooo lame lmaoooo) and the word passion comes from the latin word pati (i think💀) which means to suffer, and in german passion is called Leidenschaft which basically means suffering too, idk why i‘m telling you this maybe you know it already. but ok dumb fun fact, in german you can make compound words with as many words as you like, and the longest official german word is Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübertragungsgesetz which is a law for the monitoring of labels on beef... this is such a dumb fact but i think about that word like once a day idk why dodjsjsj so... 👁👄👁)

but i‘ll stop boring you with my linguistics talk because truly i don‘t know much about languages but i am interested omg i‘m gonna shut up now.

now water + sharks. (so in non-covid times i always go to croatia with my dad during the summer, and even before ever watching a shark film i was always kind of scared in water.. but after watching so many shark films wldjdj HELP Like you know when you go deeper into the ocean and you can‘t see or feel the ground/floor? anymore.. then i just start imagining sharks. like i can‘t help it i just imagine a shark sneaking up on me or feeling something graze my foot ABD I JUST START FREAKING OUT SSKJSHSJ. idk. anyway kdkdh i do love the ocean/swimming though but the older i get the more i realise how fucking scary the ocean is ( even if we’re gonna disregard sharks)

your brother... what‘s wrong with him? HOw CAN YOU NOT LIKE MUSIC LIKE WHAT THE FAWK

OKAY BUT SAME ABOUT THE ADORE YOU MUSIC VIDEO DLDKDJSJSKSLSLKSKSJSHSH and yeah i have to say harry’s style (styles lol) as a solo artist isn‘t reaaally my cup of tea, and i only like the popular songs from his second album and the first album is only good when i‘m in the right mood (haven‘t actually listened to it in a while though, but kiwi is one of my all time favourites along with only angel but i hate the start, like it takes 40 seconds to actually begin properly). i like mgk and because of him i watched the dirt which is a film about motley crue, and now one of my favourite songs ever is same ol situation and i‘m into rock now lol. +++ justin bieber. I had a justin bieber cardboard cutout thingy😭 i was the biggest Belieber on earth when i was 13-16, but i didn‘t like his last album and tbh he‘s become a bit weird lately, BUT OH MY GOD. i Listened to his new album yesterday and i‘m in LOVE with the song hold on

i really like niall‘s music toooo!!!! And doja cat 😌😌😌😌 And THE VAMPS OG MY GOD. i got to see them live bc they were the opening/support act for little mix and ajdsjskslslsjsjsj. (Also i love concerts, some of the best memories of my life are concerts, i‘ve seen nicki minaj live 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 and justin twice and my heart fills every time i think about how excited i was, it was my first concert ever (16th of September 2016 😌) and i was the happiest person alive seeing justin drew fucking bieber (even if i‘m not tooo sure about justin nowadays)

i have a confession? Idk what hamilton is. I mean I‘ve heard about it and i keep googling it but i‘ve never watched it (is it even a film???? or like a proper musical? also pls tell me you grew up with high school musical. i have a few friends who didn‘t and it makes me so sad 😭😭😭 hsm is the best thing to happen to my childhood , the sooooongs— i still listen to some of them every week or month lool they make me so happy)

(Okay wait i was about to recommend some stormzy songs but you said you‘re not that into rap so i won‘t dksksjl)

What you said about my fic AHSLSLSJB (i wasn‘t sure if you sent an ask about it earlier? idk that might have been someone else, so if it was (and you‘ve read it already) i hope you liked it sksjsj i was...... unsure about it. and i have this reeaaallly long peter fic that i started writing in december and that‘s the only peter thing i currently want to write but also i can‘t because idk how to continue kddjj.) but I’m definitely getting back into writing i have a few blurbs that i want to write so 🥰🥰🥰

Oh and pls as soon as you read this let me know: violet or yellow? (it‘s just a tiny thing for my new theme slsksj)

[poguesofthebau]

Hey! I was wondering if i could get a ship? I’m 5’5, a saggitarius and I’m 16 years old! I’m in theatre, i love hockey, writing, history and concerts! I’m super shy when you meet me but when i get to know you it is OVER, i’m loud, outgoing, as well as the group therapist. I love being able to make people feel loved and supported. I’m a harry styles, niall horan, why don’t we , ruel, and 5sos stan as well as I love show tunes, country and classic rock ! Thank you 🥰

i would first and foremost like to applaud and publicly appreciate ur stanning harry niall and 5sos bc after the falling of 1d i thought i was the only who still loved all THREE of them hoes. bless up. now back to ur regularly scheduled shipping :) (also this is one of my fave blurbs i’ve written so i hope u like!!)

i ship you with john b!! (honorary mention: the amount of mothering you would force on jj... like the ‘mama’s mad’ thing that he said about kie that one time? yeah, like that but times a million bc you were always being jj’s mom and it would be wholesome as fuck bc you’re the only one that child will ever actually listen to)

you would definitely have grown up a pogue. you would’ve gone to middle school with john b and jj back in the day, and the three of you would be a trio that nobody really saw coming. you’d be that one girl in fifth grade that everyone just thought was quiet and liked to keep to herself because you never really went out of your way to make close friends. your not being a part of a clique would be what brought you and the boys together. one day, some group of girls would take their usual table that they ate lunch at, so they’d wander over to the one you were sitting alone at, dropping their trays down with awkward smiles and even more uncomfortable body language. you’d smile back at them, not giving them much attention as you went back to the homework you’d been doing. when you made it clear that you weren’t going to bother them even if they were at your table, the boys relaxed and continued their conversation. the situation at hand would definitely include jj being pissed off and wanting to fight someone, along with john b trying to calm his friend down so he doesn’t get in trouble again. soon enough, you’d finished up all of your homework, shoved all your books back into your bag, and started eating doritos out of the bag while blatantly listening to the conversation going on before you. things seemed to be coming to a head, and the low voices between the two were getting louder and louder. eventually, jj would yell something like “shut the hell up, john b!” and earn himself a very dirty look from the teacher currently on lunch duty as well as a whack on the head from john b. rolling his eyes, jj appeared to be deep in thought as his eyes started scanning the room quickly. suddenly, his head was snapping to you, and your eyes widened when you were addressed. “what do you think?” stammering a bit, you glanced nervously between jj and john b. “wha-- what do i think about what?” jj sighed, turning in his seat to fully face you. “c’mon, you have to know what’s going on, don’t you?” john b would nudge jj then, giving him a face that told him to take it easy on you. “what? you think just ‘cause she’s quiet, she’s deaf too? i just wanna hear an outside opinion, john b.” surprised at jj’s (correct) assumption about you noticing the things that happened around you, you coughed. “um, i actually have heard,” you interjected, pulling a cocky smile out of jj. “told you, bro.” “but, no, i don’t think you should fight anyone, if that’s the question.” john b’s turn. he scoffed, looking jj in the eye. “told you, bro.”

after that one interaction, john b and jj basically took you under their wings. it was never a big deal. you just started hanging out with them-- when you were waiting for your ride home, they’d stand outside the school with you until your mom pulled up, only walking back to The Chateau when they knew you were good. they’d meet you at your lunch table every day after the first time, a tradition that would continue on through high school. they’d stand next to your locker, bickering over what the plans for after school were, while you swapped out books and laughed at their arguing. when pope and kie came into the picture, your two boys forced you to stay out of your shell, to let the new pogues get to know you like they did. before you could stop and realize it, john b and jj and kie and pope would come to know everything about you, and you them. and even though you knew all of them so well, there would sometimes be things that they kept from you-- including john b and jj. you’d catch the two of them whispering during keggers, or staring at you from across the room as you stood chatting with kie. after a few months of this sneaky behavior, you convinced yourself that one of them was into kie. you had the idea so deeply engraved in your mind that, soon enough, no other explanation seemed possible to you. that’s what you told pope one night at john b’s, when he’d come out to the hammocks, where you’d been swaying alone, to ask what the problem was. figuring it couldn’t hurt to talk things out with pope, you told him the truth. the day after you confessed to pope that you ‘knew jb had it bad for kie’ and he deciphered that you had feelings for john b, things got weird. you’d call jj that morning to see if he knew what the plan for the day was, and all he was able to do was stammer and stutter through your conversation. when you called pope to see if he’d need a ride to The Chateau, it was the same thing. so instead of trying with john b or kie, you simply made your way to the house. 

when you pulled up to The Chateau, parking in your usual spot next to the van, confusion flooded your body. jj’s bike was nowhere to be found, and neither was kie’s car, which was supposed to have brought her and pope there. you made your way into the house, finding john b putting beers into a cooler. “um, hello there? is there a reason our friends are not here like i was told they were?” john b would smile quickly at you, picking up the cooler and nonchalantly grabbing your hand to pull you along with him as he walked out of the house. “just us today.” your eyebrows would raise at that, not seeing why your friends had lied about the day’s plans so you could be alone with john b. “what do you mean, just us?” john b ignored you completely, quickly moving in and out of the hms pogue a few times as he packed it with the day’s supplies. “john booker,” you’d call tightly, getting his attention right away. he’d look up at you, still bent over from putting down the cooler on the boat, eyes wide. he knew that tone. “don’t yell at me. please.” you’d slit your eyes, arms crossed as you waited for an explanation. john b would sigh, stepping out of the boat and pacing in front of you a few times with his hands rubbing repeatedly over his face, clearly thinking about how to begin as you watched. “are you okay?” he stopped at that, staring at the ground as he replayed your words in his head. “john b. are you okay?” he’d turn to you, expression like a deer in headlights. “i’m in love with you.” you’d squint suspiciously at him again, arms falling to your side. “don’t-- don’t fucking look at me like that! i just said something very, very chillingly groundbreaking, okay? so don’t give me that look. i’m panicking, okay? you think i like this feeling right now?” you couldn’t help but laugh at that point, taking a step toward him and putting your hands on his shoulders. “john b, i can’t believe this is finally it. i mean, i knew you were gonna crack eventually, but... today? you’re choosing today, to have your psychotic break?” he’d shake his head, trying to cut you off but not getting the chance as you continued. “seriously! i just wanted to relax for five minutes. but i guess we can go back inside and handle your unstable mental state. no problem--” all of a sudden, john b’s hands had found their way onto your face, palms pressing against your cheeks as he pulled your face into his. he was kissing you. john b routledge. he was kissing you. when john b pulled back after a few moments, you were essentially stunned into silence. “hi. hi, it’s me. john b? remember?” john b was waving his hand in front of your face nervously, and you caught him by the wrist, stammering over a few words before he spoke again. “okay, sooo words seem to be kinda hard right now. that’s fine,” he’d chuckle, moving his hands to rest on your shoulders as he hunched down a little to get to your eye-level. “do you wanna get on the boat with me right now, or was that not okay, that i just did that?” you shook your head, trying to clear some of the love fuzz out of it. john b, misunderstanding your response, dropped his hands from your shoulders and took a step back, panic resurfacing in his body. “hey,” you’d call to him offendedly. “what are you doing?” “what am i doing? what are you doing?” you’d laugh then, slipping your arms around john b’s waist and hugging him when you closed the distance again. “so, that was actually okay?” “yes, idiot. that was perfectly okay.” john b wrapped his arms around your back, smiling and releasing the breath he’d been holding in. “cool. cool. so, we getting on the boat or what?”