#also hope that I somehow manage to keep up my friendships long distance

[a-murmur-of-a-prayer]

As someone with ADHD, change is so frustrating. When I get bored, I am much more likely to get depressed - but anything major changing in my life causes me a lot of grief and stress. From getting laid off to my dog dying to two of my best friends getting married, this year has been full of changes - and on Sunday, the biggest one yet is happening, which is that I am permanently moving out of state.

This is exciting, because I'll hopefully be traveling to a new and better job, I'll be changing my environment, doing and trying new things...but leaving the life I've cultivated here is a lot to process, I'm deeply sad about leaving friends I've consistently been around for the last five years, and the moving process is just generally causing me stress. (Example: I got rid of a piece of furniture I thought was supposed to be gotten rid of, and then my mom told me it was a gift from one of her friends that ackshually wasn't supposed to be given away and then I had a panic attack.)

I cried briefly tonight, after hanging out with one of my friends - I've cried before this, and of course I'm sure to again because on top of everything I'm on my period. But I also know that if I didn't move now I never would, because I'm inherently resistant to change. It just sucks that my brain fights me on this so much; I try to enact change because I hate how hard I take it, every time, and it kind of leaves me scared about how I'm going to react to even bigger things in the future (any of my family or friends dying, big world changes, getting married if I ever do, etc). I wish I knew how to deal with it better, but I don't. For now I guess all I can do is let it happen and hope that things get better.

[cha-melodius]

This is very exciting I can’t wait to read what you come up with.

For me?

Firstprince. A corner office.

(HELLO LOVELY thank you for this prompt, and I hope you enjoy the finished product. 💕)

chamel’s fandom fest info | read all the fics

Step Into My Office, Baby

(firstprince, 2.4k, E; read it below or on AO3)

Henry is staring out the window at the southern end of Central Park when he hears a very familiar cadence of footsteps entering the office behind him. A moment later, Alex gives a low whistle.

“Look at you, Mr Fancy Pants with the corner office,” he says, his voice low and teasing and shot through with fondness.

Henry still winces slightly. “I did try to turn it down.”

“Yeah, ‘cause you’re an idiot,” Alex says. He’s leaning up against the door frame, his legs crossed at the ankle and arms folded in front of his chest. It’s late in the day, and he’s shed his jacket and rolled his shirt sleeves to the elbow, revealing muscular forearms that Henry can’t keep his gaze from lingering on. When he manages to force his eyes up, Alex is smirking at him. “You earned it, H. Fair and square.”

If anyone had told Henry two years ago that this moment would happen, he would have laughed in their face. To say he and Alex did not get along at first would be putting it mildly. Or rather, Alex resented Henry and everything he embodied, and Henry saw the benefit of keeping Alex at a distance even as they were forced to share an office. Then, getting accidentally locked in the building overnight together yielded a tentative truce, and a fast friendship had bloomed in its wake. It’s been lovely and also dreadful, because now Henry is constantly forced to weather his warm smiles and his teasing smirks and his bloody forearms.

The owner of which is currently flopping bodily onto Henry’s new couch and wiggling his hips in a completely obscene manner as he gets comfortable.

“Don’t worry, I’m gonna fucking live in here,” Alex tells him as he stretches his arms up and tucks his hands behind his head.

Yes, nothing to worry about at all.

~~~~~

The corner office comes with promotion and a whole heap of new responsibilities, and Henry quite quickly finds himself drowning in work beyond the long hours he’s used to spending with Alex at the office. He’s in the middle of a particularly terrible stretch at the moment, the looming deadline somehow simultaneously the light at the end of the tunnel and the headlamp of an oncoming train. Alex has been in the thick of it too, working late nights beside him, though that apparently doesn’t include tonight.

Henry loves him—truly, to his endless misery—but he needs to work, not listen to Alex chattering aimlessly while he sits on Henry’s couch tossing M&Ms into the air and catching them in his mouth.

“I was thinking about Thai,” he says, as if it isn’t gone one in the morning. “D’you think Noodies is still open?”

“No,” Henry huffs. They’ve been closed for three hours, and Alex knows this. “Why are you still here, anyway?” he snaps without meaning to, immediately regretting it when Alex’s face falls.

“Well, I was keeping you company and making sure you don’t collapse into an endless spiral of work like a fucking black hole, but I guess Mr Corner Office is too important to need anyone’s help,” Alex sneers, pushing himself angrily to his feet.

Christ, they haven’t spoken to each other like this since that horrible first year, and even more than the work, that’s what finally breaks Henry. Alex is halfway to the door by the time Henry catches him by the elbow, and he jerks out of Henry’s grasp immediately. Thankfully, he does stop, though the glare he levels at Henry does a poor job at masking the hurt written on his face.

“Alex, wait,” Henry pleads. He lets out a heavy sigh, dragging a hand over his face. Christ, he’s too bloody exhausted for this. “I’m sorry. It’s just this project is driving me batty. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”

“Well,” Alex says, fidgeting as he frowns down at the ground. “You’re right, you shouldn’t have.” He sighs as he looks up again. “But I get it. They’re putting too much on you.”

Henry reaches out and puts a tentative hand on his elbow again; this time, he’s not shrugged off. “Can you forgive the stuck up prick in the corner office who takes everyone else for granted?”

“That guy?” Alex snorts. “No. But you’re not that guy, H.”

“I feel like him sometimes.”

“C’mere,” Alex mumbles, and the next thing Henry knows he’s being tugged into a tight hug.

It’s not the first time they’ve hugged, but it’s the first time it’s been so fierce, and it feels like it fundamentally shifts something inside Henry. Alex winds his fingers into Henry’s collar and buries his face in his neck, and it’s all Henry can do to hang on like he’s clinging to a life preserver in a storm.

Except somehow, Alex is both the life preserver and the storm.

~~~~~

When the project finally wraps up, it’s a big deal, and the whole office celebrates accordingly.

“Work hard, play hard,” Alex sing-songs with a wink as he fills Henry’s champagne flute again.

He’s been ricocheting around the room, putting that patented Claremont-Diaz charm to good use. There’s almost certainly a promotion with his name on it after all of this, so he has more than enough reason to celebrate. He’s already been teasing Henry about stealing his office. Henry feels jubilant, effervescent like the bubbles bursting in his glass, and he forgets to be self-conscious about the way he watches Alex. Forgets to school his expression. Forgets not to smile too broadly when Alex hooks an arm around his neck and hangs off him like a monkey.

“Hey, hey, c’mere,” Alex says all at once, tugging him toward the door of the massive conference room that’s serving as the party hub.

“You quite literally just poured me a new drink,” Henry points out.

“So bring it with you. C’mon,” he almost whines, which should not be as endearing as it is. He’s unleashing his most devastating giant brown puppy dog eyes. Henry never stood a chance.

“Where are we going?”

“I just need a breather,” Alex sighs heavily. He drags Henry down the office corridors at nearly a jog, until the sounds of chatter and clinking glasses fade away, all the way to the open door of Henry’s office. At Henry’s cocked eyebrow, he laughs. “Best view in the building.”

He doesn’t walk over to the bank of windows, though. Once Henry’s inside the door, he pushes it shut, sealing them off from the rest of the office. Then he returns to Henry’s side and plucks the champagne flute from his hand. He downs half of it in one go, laughs at Henry’s affronted “hey!” as he deposits the glass on the desk, and grabs the fronts of Henry’s jacket before he starts walking backward across the office. Henry can’t help but laugh helplessly at Alex’s chaotic manhandling, at least until Alex stumbles into the couch and he’s dragged down by Alex’s dead weight dropping out from under him. They land in a giggling heap, and Christ, he’s in Alex’s lap, but when he tries to disentangle himself, he feels Alex’s grip go tight at his hip. An arm slides around his waist, loose enough not to be demanding, but firm enough to prevent him from moving away.

Oh.

Startled, he looks down at Alex, whose cheeks are flushed a dusty rose from the champagne and the exertion, who’s breathing heavily through pink lips temptingly parted as he stares back up with his bottomless dark eyes. He isn’t laughing anymore.

“I like this office,” Alex murmurs. “Something about it settles me. When I’m here.” His grip shifts on Henry’s hip, fingers tightening. “With you.”

“Alex,” Henry whispers, barely daring to breathe.

One corner of Alex’s mouth twitches. “Maybe it’s not the office.”

It’s impossible to tell which of them moves first to close the narrow gap between them, lips meeting in a fierce, hungry press that quickly deepens. Alex nearly bites at his lips, dragging his teeth along their inner edges, and it shouldn’t work for him but fuck, it really does. Henry finds himself pressing closer, revelling in the way that Alex’s arms tighten to bring their bodies together as he sinks his fingers into Alex’s curls. 

“Christ, I never thought you’d want—” Henry starts, though he doesn’t manage to finish that train or thought before he’s diving in to kiss the corner of Alex’s jaw.

“Yeah,” Alex breathes as he tips his head back to give him better access, “me neither.”

“What?” Henry asks, huffing a soft laugh against his skin.

“I mean, does anyone expect to fall in love with their work nemesis?”

That makes Henry pull back and stare down at him in shock. “You’re—”

“In love with you?” Alex finishes. There’s an impossibly soft look on his face, but it’s undercut by a flicker of nervousness. “Yeah, baby. Head over fucking heels.”

Henry feels himself tremble at baby, which is an entirely novel experience, though perhaps not unexpected given how his usual reaction when Alex teasingly calls him sweetheart. He’s so fucking overwhelmed that the only thing he can manage to do is lean in and kiss Alex again, slow and tender and full of all the words and emotions threatening to choke him. He presses his forehead to Alex’s when they part, and for a moment they just breathe together—unconsciously, perfectly, in sync. It’s everything he never let himself imagine, all those late nights together, all those meetings and emails and coffees delivered with sunny smiles that he refused to read into. Alex is warm and solid under him now, grabbing his waist as they kiss and kiss and it becomes heated again, until he’s rocking his hips up eagerly to meet Henry’s in a way that is rapidly going to become a problem.

Especially since Alex seems to find it not a problem at all.

“Wait, Alex, we can’t—” Henry tries, biting down on a groan when Alex palms over his hardening cock before making quick work of his belt and the fastening of his trousers, “—the windows.”

As if that’s the most troubling thing about them having sex in Henry’s office while half the company is just down the hall.

“We’re on the fiftieth floor, baby, no one’s gonna see,” Alex says, undeterred, grinning wickedly as he slips a hand into Henry’s boxers.

Right, then, that’s… good enough, actually. Henry’s been waiting for this for two and a half bloody years and he’s not really inclined to wait any longer. He kisses the smile off Alex’s face as he sets to work on the buttons of Alex’s shirt, rapidly pulling them open so he can get his hands on more of Alex’s skin. And Christ, he’d known Alex was fit—it’s hard not to know, with how ridiculously tightly cut he wears his suits—but it’s another thing altogether to drag his palms over the swell of his pecs and the hard lines of his stomach. Alex bites down hard on his lower lip when Henry tweaks one of his nipples, then retaliates by twisting his palm with just the right amount of pressure over the head of Henry’s cock. Henry moans as his hips buck up into Alex’s grip, chasing the friction that borders on just this side of too much.

“What do you want, baby?” Alex murmurs against his lips, and ‘everything’ feels like too big a concept in the moment, so Henry chokes out, “Just this, just you—” and lets himself get lost in the feeling of Alex’s hands on his skin. He’s so unbelievably worked up that it’s not long before the tension building in his groin is reaching a breaking point, but it’s looking down that finally does him in—watching the head of his cock appear and disappear within the tight circle of Alex’s long fingers, brown skin against dark pink. He tumbles over the edge with a choked off laugh, clinging desperately to Alex as he works him through it, until he’s hissing at the point of oversensitivity.

For a moment he just breathes, his face buried in Alex’s shoulder, mindful of Alex shifting slightly beneath him even if he’s trying not to be obvious about it.

“Not trying to harsh your afterglow here, but d’ya think you could move so I could get a tissue or something?” Alex asks eventually.

“I’ve got a better idea,” Henry rasps, dropping his hands to the fastenings of Alex’s trousers. He shifts back to get a better angle and tugs Alex’s boxers down enough to release his cock, long and rock hard and leaking at the tip, then takes Alex’s hand covered in his come and wraps it around his shaft with his own, weaving their fingers together.

“Oh,” Alex gasps, his hips immediately rocking up into their combined grip, Henry’s come slicking the way and filling the silence of the office with some of the most obscene sounds Henry’s ever heard.

He lets Alex set the pace, which starts out as a slow drag and rapidly picks up tempo, until Alex is quivering under him and swearing in at least two languages. Alex tips his head back against the couch, and Henry can’t resist ducking down to scrape his teeth along the long column of muscle so temptingly laid bare before him. The movement seems to make every muscle in Alex’s body tense up, and then he’s coming with a “Fuck, baby,” that has Henry groaning along with him. 

They clean up quietly, trading soft kisses that they occasionally get lost in, setting each other to rights enough so that they can— well, perhaps not return to the party, but at least leave the building. Henry doubts that their absence has been noticed, anyway.

“Jesus, I’ve been wanting to do that since you got this office,” Alex groans once they’re done, pushing a hand through curls as he stretches slightly where he sits on the couch. 

“What, that specifically?” Henry asks, furrowing his brow at him.

“I mean, more or less,” Alex admits. One side of his mouth tugs upward into a smirk. “To be fair I think I’ve imagined every possible way of taking you apart on this couch.”

“Christ, Alex.”

Alex grins broadly and shifts over to press his lips to the corner of Henry’s mouth. “You wanna hear the list?”

“You’re an incorrigible delinquent,” Henry protests, letting himself be drawn into another kiss. Then he leans in, lips brushing the shell of Alex’s ear, and whispers, “Tell me at home.”

[sanjisblackasswife]

what about getting into an argument with the monster trio </33 craving angst rn

A/N: Hope u don’t mind me taking it a step further with the angst

Also I’m going to separate these because they’re long af.

Zoro Version

Sanji Version

Luffy Version

Breaking up With the Monster Trio (Angst)

Word Count: 6.2k (bruh)

Black Fem Reader in Mind

Ft. Luffy, Zoro, Sanji

CW: Lots of yelling,Implied Cheating, Reader is a Bit Toxic Herself, Cursing, Angst, No Happy Ending, Crying, It is a bit of WCI Spoiler but I tried not to put in too much so I added some situations that wasn’t canon if that makes sense lmao

Zoro

You guys actually are known for arguing in your relationship

You both argue at least once a day over something petty and everybody on the Sunny has come accustomed to it

“YOU CAN’T BRING A SWORD TO A GUN FIGHT ARE YOU INSANE?!”

“DOESNT MATTER I CAN KICK YOU AND ANY OTHER GUNSLINGERS ASS IF I NEEDED TO!”

“SHOCHU IS NOT BETTER THAN SAKE ARE YOU INSANE?!”

“UHHHH YES IT IS?!”

“WHY DO YOU ALWAYS FEEL THE NEED TO RAGE THE HELL OUT WHEN I SPEAK TO SANJI!”

“BECAUSE TWO PERVERTS SHOULDN’T BE IN A ROOM ALONE TOGETHER.”

“KISS MY ASS”

However one day you believe your argument may have turned for the worse.

You and Zoro have been actually having less interactions since you all met back up .

Zoro taken his role as the swordsman of the crew way more seriously and though you respect it and even admire it, it’s just you barely even communicate anymore. Not even petty arguments.

When you do start to try it he just breathes out his nose and finishes what he was doing as if he didn’t care to retort back

It just wasn’t the same between you and Zoro

And you even questioned If you and him were still together

Granted you both didn’t have much time to settle where your relationship was before separating, but you still wanted to at least talk about it, but you both never had time to do so

Intimacy has been long gone. When you seen him again he didn’t even hug you back he just patted your head

He doesn’t sleep in your room anymore. If he does it’s when you’re not in there and busy on watch

It started to get to you.

You wanted to wait and give it time but it’s been weeks now and it’s almost as if he subconsciously just broke up with you over the two years

You tried getting your mind off of it seeing as now there are bigger fish to fry and stronger enemies to defeat

Eventually you and the crew meet Law again and surprisingly you two hit it off better than him and anyone else on the crew.

He didn’t find you annoying—you were level headed and relatively nice to talk to so you managed to keep him company sometimes when he wanted to separate from all of the Strawhats

The attention he gave you was platonic but it was nice none the less—-you even managed to crack a smile out of him a few times

“Y/N-ya. Come help me with this, yeah?”

You both have amazing combat skills together too and it bought you some brownie points with him

Zoro However began to notice this friendship develop immediately

But he didn’t have time to ask you about it he needed to train more

Today though, he had some time

Zoro being Zoro was lost in the forest again but managed to somehow find you and Law sitting across from each other talking. You were laughing with him not even noticing the green haired swordsman approach you from the side.

“Lost again?” Law shot at Zoro still giving you eye contact.

Zoro Just grumbled, “NO! I just happened to find you both…we’re leaving this place soon so you both should wrap up your little date.” You frowned a bit at his tone. Date?

“Date?” You got up to follow him with Law a nice distance behind you both. “We were talking.”

“Yeah you two love doing that—“

“The hell is that supposed to mean?”

“Don’t mean shit. Keep walking.”

You’d be lying if you said you weren’t a tiny bit happy seeing that Zoro at least noticed and felt jealous about you and Law’s closeness. In reality though you actually didn’t do that to get back at Zoro you enjoyed Law’s company and was refreshing to be around.

You and Zoro bickered a bit walking around the forest not even realizing you three were walking in circles because ZORO was guiding y’all.

“So if you see me talking to another woman what you’re ganna think I’m gay now?!”

“Go ahead and be gay for all I give a fuck—“

“THAT’S NOT THE POINT IM TRYING TO MAKE—“

“Room.”

You both appeared in front of the Sunny not even realizing it still arguing.

“HEY!” Law yelled getting both of your attention walking in between you both, “We’re back. Come find me when you’re done, Y/N-ya.”

“We’re done Talking actually.” Zoro Shot back heading to the training room.

“Says who?! I ain’t finish asshole the hell is all this passive aggressiveness towards me?!”

“Oh, Shut the fuck up!”

“NO YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO ALL FUCKING MONTH I BEEN TRYING TO TALK TO YOU BUT YOU BEING THE DICK THAT YOU ARE JUST BEEN IGNORING ME AND THE FIRST TIME WE DO YOU WANNA FUCKING ARGUE SO FUCK YOU!”

It got awkwardly quiet on the ship. Sanji, and Nami gasped, Robin covered Chopper’s ears, Luffy and Usopp stopped playing, and Franky & Brook just paused.

Zoro looked like the vein in his head was about to explode. He was irritated beyond belief and the patience he barely had was already ran out.

“Go the fuck up the ladder now.”

You squinted your eyes at him. His teeth was gritted at yours and he began to breath a little harder. If he were to hit you you honestly wouldn’t be surprised at this point. You felt the rage coming from his body, he never got this angry with you and you never got this angry with him.

“If we aren’t ganna resolve our issues then I’m not going no where with you.”

“Resolve what exactly? The fact that you can’t be alone? Or the fact that you got bigger tits and you wanna flaunt them around to every guy you see because you crave male attention —-“

“Ain’t this a bitch— THAT’S what you think I’m doing?! You think I’m being some kind of slut or something?! I don’t need nobody’s mothafuckin’ attention if anything I’d like yours but it seems like your swords have all of it!—“

“Y/N..” Nami whispered, and walked over behind you to grab your arm since you started to approach Zoro as if your were ganna hit him.

She and Robin seen the hurt in your face for a while now when Zoro ignores you, they haven’t said anything about it but they had a feeling a fight like this was bound to happen.

“At least my swords don’t go around cheating.”

“Ch—-YOU THINK IM CHEATING ON YOU?”

“IM NOT FUCKING STUPID Y/N IVE SEEN HOW CLOSE YOUVE GOTTEN WITH THAT TRA-GUY—“

“IM ONLY CLOSE WITH HIM BECAUSE WE HAVE GOOD CONVERSATION. WE. COMMUNICATE. UNLIKE. YOU. AND I.” You pointed your finger back and fourth looking as if you were ready to shoot Zoro right then and there so Nami ran over out of worry and held you back by your arm and Usopp and Brook ran over to hold Zoro back because he had the same angry look in his eyes.

“IF YOU KNEW HOW TO SPEAK I WOULDN’T HAVE TO GO TO TALK TO OTHER MEN. Ever thought about that? Roronoa Zoro?”

Zoro stopped moving and just sighed pulling away from the two and walked the opposite way.

“Then keep communicating with him because we’re through. He can have you.”

It was almost as if none of your points were being heard. Your stomach dropped to your ass hearing him wanting to be done with you.

You scoffed.

Sanji was about to go and beat Zoro possibly to death for how he was speaking to you but you stopped him. It didn’t matter it wasn’t going to change anything.

“NO, ITS NOT OKAY YOU PIECE OF SHIT YOU DON’T TALK TO A WOMAN LIKE THAT—!”

“Sanji!” You Held him back fighting any slick of tear to fall down the rim of your waterline. “It’s fine….leave him.”

-

Weeks have past since the argument, the entire energy of the crew has changed. You and Zoro stayed Your distances and never even spoke a syllable to each other once. You don’t eat with the crew anymore no matter how many times Sanji tries to kick Zoro out, but you just try to avoid the trouble.

The girls tried making you feel better, even Luffy tried by doing stupid faces but you haven’t cracked a smile in you don’t know how long. Your face is deadpanned now but your eyes constantly look sad.

You don’t talk much at all either and it hurts, a literal pain in your chest. You’ve been having headaches and a bit of sickness as well. Usually when you feel bad Zoro pokes fun at you for not having his immune system and holds you all day making Sanji bring you soups and teas. But that’s in the long past and now you’re alone in your room. Eyes were puffy, hair was wrapped in a tight scarf, and you had on nothing but a loose shirt and shorts as everybody except you, Franky, and Chopper were out on some new land. Nothing but the sounds of the crashing water and your subtle sniffles fill the room. You wasn’t sure if it was sniffs from being sick or sad but you didn’t care to figure out which

You sat up and decided to just read a book until you fell asleep again. You rummage through your stuff and found a picture. From two years ago. It was the first time you kissed Zoro and Luffy managed to sneak a lot of pictures, from when you both were caught, to Sanji looking pissed, to Zoro chasing Luffy and Sanji chasing Zoro. It was the first night Zoro confessed, how much you meant to him, how much he loved you, but didn’t “like” you, how much you drove him crazy—

And how much he wanted to be with you even after you both achieved your goals.

All the wonderful memories of you and Zoro pulled out some tears blurring your vision, you laughed at yourself with your cheeks now being stained, how stupid could you be to fall for him so hard?

Your chest hurts again. More than it did before it nearly felt like you couldn’t breathe, you hit the back of the wall and slid down crying in ache and pain in silence. Even moreso because now when you see Zoro from the times you mindlessly glanced at him, he looks happier to be without you than with you.

Is this what a heart break felt like?

-

Sanji

Sometimes you believe Sanji is just a womanizer. And you hate it because it’s actually not true.

You both have been dating for a year and you’ve noticed his simp like attitude for most women haven’t really let up.

You knew he would never touch a woman like how he touches you but sometimes when you want his full attention he can’t seem to focus it if another young woman is calling out his name

You didn’t mind it at first but it’s seems like it has gotten worse.

Granted you both never had time to have sex. It’s been back to back with fighting enemies and a bunch of new people joining on board momentarily.

But today was probably the last straw of his obsession with women

“He’s doing what?!”

“No! It’s not like that he got lured !”

“How the fuck do you get lured to a damn brothel, Franky?! He knows better!”

You stormed out of the ship disregarding your watch durty after hearing the unfortunate news. There is no possible way Sanji could be doing what you think he could.

“You messing with me right?”

Seeing Zoro and Sanji rush out of the worn building fixing up each other’s clothing. You really couldn’t believe your eyes if you were quite honest, your heart and stomach sank all at once. Sure, Sanji was a Flirt, and there were a few times early in your relationship you and Sanji talked about the boundaries you both set for when people hit on either of you, he swore up and down he’d work on doing so and you believed him, but you truly wouldn’t have guessed he’d ACTUALLY cheat on you.

Sanji’s hair was disheveled, tie was slightly undone, and he was flustered. It didn’t take too long to understand what happened.

Sanji However was mortified. He tried to get out of there as quick as he could, but he needed to be helped by Zoro and Luffy to escape.

“WAIT NO Y/N IT’S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE—!”

You scoffed at the typical statement turning the opposite way back to the ship. You were more broken than mad. You held your mouth to conceal your quivering lips trying not to cry in front of anybody and picked up your pace to run as far away from Sanji as you could.

“Dumbass. I told you she’d find out.” Zoro muttered shoulder bumping him.

“Y/N I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING!”

“Didnt do anything?!” You cried, stopping in your tracks almost causing Sanji to bump into you from how fast he was running towards you, “Sanji…”

You grabbed his cheek with force, squeezing it causing him to flinch, seeing the small lipstick kisses on his cheek so close to the corner of his lips. You immediately imagined him laying with how ever many women, touching, him and to add insult to injury; him enjoying it.

You looked up at the sky, forcing your tears not to escape, but you failed horribly and Sanji’s eyes widened in fear. You drop your hand down and walk away. You didn’t want to hear anything else he had to say because you’d just end up crying even more and that’s one thing you refused to do in front of him or anybody .

You felt so stupid, you knew you shouldn’t have let him in, you were warned by almost everyone to NOT date Sanji, but you seen past that. You didn’t wanna believe the warnings. How stupid could you be? Sanji? Faithful? Doesn’t even make sense unless you put “is not” in between the words.

“Damn it! I never—!” Sanji groaned in frustration running back after you, he knew he messed up BADLY. It wasn’t his intention to go into that brothel! He was actually tricked into going, Zoro warned him not to follow that lady that “needed help”, and the moment he realized where he really was he tried to leave, but women swarmed him trying to get him to stay. The whole story was too good to be true and he knew you wouldn’t buy it.

The moment you arrived back on the ship you felt your blood get hot. The entire walk back you thought about Sanji and those women and the longer your thoughts stayed on that the angrier you became. You had to get a level head though, as much as you wanted to lash out, You knew if you took any action you’d end up regretting it.

“Y/N? You okay?” Robin and Nami seen you nearly sprinting to your room, you didn’t want them to know about the incident so you avoided their gaze.

“I’m—“ you cleared your croaky throat to mask how much you’ve been crying “I’m okay….just need to—to um…”

Nami quickly walked over to you, you got very nasty when you cried. You kept shaking your hands trying to find the words, but the closer the girls approached you the harder it was to conceal any pain you felt. It wasn’t until Robin touched your shoulder that you broke down in their arms about what you seen. You felt so stupid.

Sanji came running back out of breath and he seen you across the ship being held by Robin, your eyes were pink and puffy from rubbing them so harshly out of anger. Nami turned her furious eyes over to the cook ready to kill the man so she stormed over to him.

“WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU SANJI?!”

Nami Tore Sanji a new one yelling and hitting him for the pain he caused you after hearing what happened. Honestly, Nami Just began to enjoy watching you and Sanji as a couple. She never thought you guys would last so long considering how he was, but she just started to believe he learned to behave.

You thought the same too.

Robin took you back to her room to calm you down and step away from the commotion, “Are you sure Sanji was really cheating?”

“I know what I saw Robin. He was coming out of the building, putting back on his jacket with lip stains.”

Robin patted your head, she refused to believe Sanji would ever hurt you like that especially from what he told her weeks prior:

“You shouldn’t worry, Sanji you already know what’s she’s going to say..”

“I don’t know…what if—“

“There’s no what if’s. I see the way she looks at you. How much you’ve changed her. She’ll say yes.”

“I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU, SANJI?! AFTER ALL YOU BOTH BEEN THROUGH? WAS Y/N NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU?!”

Sanji was on his knees taking every hit Nami had on his head, not even trying to defend hisself she was furious than anything else. She noticed how happier you were with him. How sweet he was to you, and even though she had her doubts she believed in what Robin said.

About 30 minutes past and Robin managed to get you to sleep off your tears. It was needed. She left you in the room to sleep and headed back out to where Sanji was in the kitchen and everybody was getting ready to head back on the not to set sail.

“Sanji…” Robin leaned on the kitchen door, his back was facing hers hunched over a little. She didn’t have to look at his face to know he was sulking. “What really happened back there?”

….

A few hours have pasted and you woke up to a warm presence beside you rubbing your arm, you cracked your eyes open to see Sanji’s blurred figure, but when you pounced up it was nobody.

“Good..” You thought rubbing your eyes. The room was dark hinting it was now later in the night and though you could argue that was the best sleep you’ve had in a while you wish someone would have woke you.

You make up Robin’s bed and head to your own room for the night, not wanting to see anybody else still a bit of anger lingering in your head, however this is the Thousand Sunny where 11 other people live. There is no alone time.

“Get out Sanji…” Was all you groaned rubbing your eyes, seeing him sparked back up that annoyance and seeing his pink eyes really meant nothing right now.

“No. I have to explain—“

“There’s nothing to explain. You wanted to be with those other women…and you did. I’m over it.”

“But thats not what I wanted it was a trick I would never do that! Baby—“

“Don’t ‘Baby’ me if I was your baby you wouldn’t have been in that fucking brothel.— You know what—…”

You wipe your face in frustration and sigh, the last thing you wanted was to just completely scream at him off bat, considering how he reacts to you doing it.

“I can’t keep doing this with you, Sanji. I know I’m not the ideal woman. I’m not as gorgeous as Nami or Robin. I’m not as girly as them. I don’t always dress the best. I have many flaws, but you don’t know the exhaustion I get when I see you give so many women this attention that I want. You don’t understand how it feels to have a partner that is very attractive and can also ATTRACT whatever he wants it’s damn near sickening now because I feel like it’s gotten worse with you and when I seen you with that lipstick I damn near lost my mind…”

Your voice began to crack and tears manages to slowly escape your eyes.

“I knew what I was getting into when you asked me out but I don’t know…sometimes I feel like…you settled…and…it sucks because I never felt that way with you…and..”

You couldn’t even finish. You just wanted to pour your heart out because you hated keeping in your feelings, but it was all too overwhelming and you just broke down. Sanji immediately grabbed you to hold you and in that moment he was whispering small apologizes and it did… it did feel good to be held by him,

But it was wrong. Because he does this same routine to apologize.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N…please…I made a mistake I’d never…” His lips right over yours as your face was in his neck leaning in closer, “Please know Id never hurt you..” His mouth began to inch closer to yours, but you pushed back harshly nearly making him fall.

“No! You don’t get to touch me! You always do that Sanji when I get upset with you and it just leads to me forgiving you again and us having sex I don’t want that! I’m tired! I’m tired of being hurt! IT’S THE SAME BULLSHIT ROUTINE WITH YOU AND THESE WOMEN SANJI—- DO YOU KNOW HOW I FELT BACK WHEN I FOUND OUT YOU WERE MARRYING THAT GIRL?! YOU NEVER EVEN ASKED ME IF I WAS OKAY WHEN YOU CAME BACK YOU JUST ASSUMED EVERYTHING WAS FINE AND DANDY?! I STILL THINK AND WONDER IF MAYBE YOU REALLY DID WANTED TO MARRY HER AND IT WASNT BECAUSE YOU WERE ‘FORCED’…”

“Y/N I DID IT TO PROTECT YOU! I WANT TO BE WITH YOU I ONLY THOUGHT OF YOU I’D NEVER EVER PURPOSELY TRIED TO HURT YOU EVER THEY WERE ALL MISTAKES! THEY WERE ALL SITUATIONS I COULDN’T GET OUT OF, BUT YOU NEED TO KNOW THAT IF I COULD CHANGE MY DECISION I WOULD AND YOU KNOW THIS!”

The arguing continued. Neither of you were willing to hear out the other without cutting each other’s sentences. This was probably the first argument you and Sanji ever had where he was actually upset and not willing to back down.

“WHY CAN’T YOU JUST LISTEN TO ME AND BELIEVE ME—“

“I DON’T HAVE TO BELIEVE SHIT SAN—you know…” you pull your faces with your palms groaning until it transitions into a frustrated scream, you were over it. You had a headache and just wanted to sleep. “Just get out Sanji. I don’t wanna hear your voice right now.”

If the room was quiet with no background noises of the sea you could have actually heart break. You didn’t change your face, you were exhausted, but a small part of you felt immediate guilt seeing his shocked and saddened reaction, but you were stubborn.

“….does this mean we’re through?”

You could hear the cracks in his voice, eyes already threatening to water, you immediately avoided his sorrowed face and paused for a moment leaving the awkward quiet tension in the air so thick you can cut it with a knife.

You nodded.

Sanji couldn’t contain his tears, they flooded his cheeks, mouth parted he fell to the ground on his knees reaching up to your leg to hold them. He couldn’t believe it he didn’t want this to be true.

“Please…please no please don’t leave me….I can’t lose you I’m so sorry. Please.” Sanji couldn’t even make coherent words he sobbed on your legs, it shattered you immensely.

Your hands hesitantly touch his head but retracted it and instead pull him off. “You have to get out, Sanji…”

“I’m not leaving until we talk this out—“

“Get the fuck out before I make you get out.”

Your voice was cold like ice sounding as if you didn’t want to be in his presence, but Sanji couldn’t be fooled that easily. You couldn’t even speak to his face, you were fighting back tears yoursef, lips quivering and words were shaky. It was your anger talking and you knew this, but you didn’t care to just look at him to listen, to hear him, to understand, and fix the relationship. Instead. You wanted to just run away.

Sanji got off his knees, head low like a puppy wiping his eyes, his body felt weighed down, he was defeated, but he didn’t want to take the loss.

“I’m not letting you go, Y/N…ever….so..don’t think—“

“JUST LEAVE SANJI!”

You back was faced to him right before he shut the door and in a quick motion you sat on your bed and screamed your heart out in a pillow. Sanji heard, chest in pain, he leaned on your door crying as well.

Words couldn’t express this pain, it was as if your entire life came crashing. This wasn’t supposed to happen between you both.

This wasn’t supposed to end.

-

Luffy

How dense Luffy can be can really be exhausting

He was too trusting for his own good and though you once admired you now have grown to be annoyed with it

Maybe it was your fault

Maybe you were over reacting, but really? He couldn’t even take your side ?

But IT WAS BOA. You hated her! And Luffy knew this.

Luffy was also very emotionally intelligent, it was impressive how quick he can notice how you can feel, but that didn’t mask how dense he can be handling your emotions.

Boa was once again back and with Luffy, they were on the furthest part of the deck speaking. It’s been a week and for some reason she was still here. She claims it was to “check up on Luffy”, but for what? Y’all JUST reunited a few weeks ago and Boa has been back and fourth coming and going on the ship as she pleases and it began to irk you.

Everybody knew about her obsession with your captain except your own damn captain. The way her touched lingered, the way she blushed when talking to him, the way she would do pretty much anything for him.

It. Irked. You.

She was aware of your relationship with Luffy, which was why you both have had a few heated arguments before. The last one resulting in you nearly drawing your gun at her. It was embarrassing on your end because you never was the type to fight over a man, but this man in particular doesn’t understand when a woman that isn’t his is blatantly flirting and touching all on him and how much it eats up at you.

And everybody is aware of this. So much so that everybody purposely tries to occupy you from seeing the two today to keep things cordial.

“Are you tryna distract me?” Your tone slightly above a tease crossing your arms at Sanji Would was being more than overbearing to keep you in the kitchen with him.

“What?! No I could never! Just keep reading in here, Y/N-San!” He had a cold sweat immediately seeing Boa and Luffy now outside the door giggling and eating together. She brought him a bunch of food as another one of her “gifts” and at that very moment Luffy was tone deaf to everything in sight. Sanji noticed the beautiful woman inch closer and closer their shirtless captain and an instant chill ran down his spine on the possibility of what you’d do.

You shrugged, somewhat naive to what’s happening, you continued to finish your book, giving Sanji a sigh of relief back to his stove. The background noise of the kitchen eventually became tuned out while diving deep into your book. All was well until—-

“OH LUFFY I LOVE YOU!”

It felt like time froze, hearing that unbearable voice, you knew exactly who it was.

“SHE’S HERE AGAIN!?”

You slam your book on the table leaving it behind as you storm out. When you came outside your eyes were met with the same bullshit sight that always led you and Bo to fight

Her breasts smothering Luffy’s face and him not paying any kind to it.

“Oh Luffy! I— oh. MMPH.” Once again . Boa was being too touchy for your liking and it made your eye twitch. Her snarky attitude towards you and you only made you unreasonably upset. The way she’d sometimes purposely touch and cope a feel of Luffy in front of you just for Luffy to laugh at the situation and think you both actually don’t have beef with each other .

“Oh hey Y/N!” Luffy pulled from Boa’s grip to run over to you with his typical Happy Hour lucky smile. He didn’t a care in the world seeing you looking so upset but the tall woman now behind him did.

“Oh Luffy it was so amazing seeing you again! I’m so glad you—-“

Boa’s compliments and heart eyes went through one eye and out the other with you considering you kept getting irritated the longer she lingered on the ship. You wasn’t in the mood to argue with her, but that didn’t stop you from pulling Luffy away as she inches closer by reflex as if you were a child not wanting to share your toy.

Boa noticed this and immediately grumbled in irritation.You clearly don’t understand how angry you make this woman. Your boyfriend just pulled into your touch closer as he ate which in turned made her heart sting, but before she had another dramatic fit an idea came to mind.

“Before I go Luffy I just wanted to let you know that if you need anything just send me a call okay? …and my offer still stands with you about our…little agreement. Remember?”

Luffy furrowed his eyebrows a bit humming in thought trying to remember what “agreement” she was offering. She has made so damn many to him involving getting married who knows what this would be?

“Uh…”

“Oh you don’t remember? Before you left your training we had such an unforgettable night and—“

“OOOOOH! Oh yeah no thanks!” Luffy laughs scaring his head, “Yeah no I’m fine I have Y/N for that!”

It was like Boa nearly turned into stone herself , her face was dumbfounded and her heart was stung, as much as she wanted to cry and plead for Luffy to take her up on her “offer” she had to go but promised to be back soon. The moment she left it was almost as if everybody could breathe again and went back to their devices, but you however dwelled in the whole “offer” situation and how Luffy stated he had you for that.

After lunch Luffy and you were on the Sunny doing your daily fishing routine you both typically started doing when you both began dating. It was peaceful and sweet feeling Luffy happily hun and lean on your shoulder, but you just couldn’t relax until your curiosity subsided.

“Lu?”

“Hm? You caught a fish?!” He sat up ready to help pull your fishing rod, but you grab his wrist.

“No! No not that! I just…Um…okay what did Boa mean by ‘offer’?”

“Huh?”

“When she said you guys had an unforgettable night and—“

“Ohh! Oh That!” Luffy laughs and pats your head. “So before I left she accidentally kissed me and th—“

“She what?” You felt your stomach turn a little, sunk really.

“She kissed me! But she apologized so it was an accident ..anyways she said that we should have one night of uh…” Luffy scratched his head trying to think of the word she used. “What’s that word Sanji uses a lot? Starts with a P?”

Your eyes widen in horror on the possible answer he may say,

“PASSION THATS THE WORD!” Luffy chuckles pointing his finger upwards, “a night of passion, I didn’t know what she meant until she said ‘made love’. At the time I still didn’t understand but I remember that’s what you call what we do sometimes so I said no.”

“Luffy i thought you said I was your first kiss.”

“You were!”

“No.” You stood up crossing your arms, “I wasn’t if that stupid bitch kissed you.”

“Woaaahh!” Luffy laughs a little making your eye twitch in annoyance as he gets up, “you mad?”

“No I’m not mad.”

“Yes you are? You only curse when you’re mad.”

“I’m not fucking mad I’m irritated!”

“Same thing.”

“IT’S NOT LUFFY! Why does she keep coming back we don’t need her help anymore we are GOOD!”

Once again you began to Nager and complain about Boa and her presence which always made Luffy Just roll his eyes playfully. He never understood why you were always so mad when she was around but after learning that they both had the opportunity to have sex AND she kissed him you now had a better reason to explain.

“I don’t understand what the big deal is y/n it’s just a kiss. Besides we weren’t dating and I wasn’t thinking about you when it happened.” Luffy shrugged it off taking away your rod to finish fishing, “what?”

“Don’t what me?! You let her kiss you?!”

“I wouldn’t say let..she just did it, who cares?”

“I do, Luffy! You said I was your first kiss! When I asked you about you and Boa you said nothing happened you don’t remember?!”

“It’s not a big deal, y/n calm down and sit with me!” he reached out for you to sit on his lap with a bright smile but all you could do was sit there with a gaped mouth.

Your captain wasn’t the best with words, but damn he could have worded it better. The mere thought of Luffy and Boa being so close made your head spin. And you knew. You knew Boa said it Just to get a rise out of you, and she succeeded because you completely ignored Luffy and headed to your room for the rest of the vending leaving him confused for a moment.

You were quiet all dinner. Not even sitting next to Luffy like you usually do and he seemed not to noticed which piled on to the anger you already had.

He was acting as if he didn’t know you were mad at him and it made you mad.

Were you overreacting possibly?

Even if you were you don’t care to listen to reason right now you’re pissed and want to be alone.

“There you are!” Luffy laughs busting in your room in the late evening to see you buried like burritos in your blankets back facing him. “I thought we were ganna take a bath together.”

“Take it yourself.” Your words are mumbled by the covers. Luffy tilts his head confused at your cold tone, he once again shrugs it off to get in the bed with you to hold you but you wiggle out of his grasp making him whine at your attitude.

“Y/NNNN COMMONNNN IM COLD!” He snatches the blanket off , your warm body now shivering in the cold.

“Luffy for fucks sake—“

“You cussed again. You’re mad—“

“I’m not fucking mad Luffy can’t you ever just read the room?! I had other blankets you could use!”

In your mind your really didn’t want to curse Luffy out. He obviously didn’t deserve it but you’ve been alone in your room all day replaying scene with him and Boa in your head and you just could NOT think about it.

Luffy tries to pull your arm to sleep back with him but you instead pull away to put one some sweats.

“Where are you going?! You don’t have watch duty!”

“I’ll be back Luffy.”

“You always walk away when you’re mad .”

“What?!”

“You do. It’s kinda annoying honestly . Just lay back in bed with me—“

“I said I’ll be back Luffy!” You tried to hide the annoyance in your voice but failed miserably. Was he wrong though? You run away from any issues you tend to have with Luffy and he always calls you out on it. It almost felt like you wanted to cry right on the deck out of frustration. You ended up not sleeping I with him that night. He didn’t seem to mind or ask.

Then one night turned into two.

Then three.

Then a month.

It almost became like you both drifted away. Luffy stopped coming in your room to bother you, you both don’t hang out as much, Luffy seemed normal, you also seemed okay, but every once in a while you felt almost as if you both subconsciously broke up.

He watched you from a distance dancing and laughing with Nami and his cheeks warmed ever so slightly. You have been quieter around him, he didn’t seemed to mind it, but maybe he was over thinking.

But he wasn’t, it’s been 4 months and even though you were still with the Strawhats it was almost as if your relationship has diminished. It was no longer the same between you both, no more fun exchanges, no more inside jokes, no more late night food runs. It was all just

Gone.

And you both ignored how it made you both really feel.

[platoniclokiimagines]

hcs for reader helping loki through a panic attack? thx and i love this blog sm

A/N: Me, writing angst again for this blog? WHO could have predicted that. Also this is only minorly proofread because my mind is currently MIA. Anyways, please enjoy~

WC: 1217

Rating: G

TW: anxiety attack, panic attack

You weren’t entirely sure what had set Loki off.

One minute, everyone had been sitting in the living room together, talking and laughing with each other, and then the next, Loki had gotten up, so abruptly that everyone had stopped to watch them hurriedly leave the room.

Naturally, your first response was to go check on them. Not because it was your duty to, but because they were your best friend, and you knew if something was the matter, then they’d be more willing to open up to you than anyone else in the room, even Thor.

You excused yourself from the group, and followed in the direction Loki had bolted, jogging lightly in hopes of catching up to them, but by the time you did, they had stopped moving, standing silent and still in the middle of one of the sparring rooms, clenching and unclenching their hands into fists at their side.

You hesitated, unsure if you actually should approach them or not, but your curiosity, and your worry, got the better of you.

“…Loki? Everything okay?”

Loki didn’t answer, but as you took a careful step closer, you could tell that their breathing was ragged, and you could see the pale sheen of sweat beaded at their temple as they remained silent, gaze trained on the wall across from them, yet somehow looking a thousand miles away at the same time.

You put two and two together fairly easily, as this wasn’t exactly your first rodeo.

“…okay. I understand. Is it okay if I come a little closer to you? I just want to talk.” You held your hands up defensively as you took another step closer, even though Loki wasn’t looking at you.

After a long moment, they gave the slightest nod, and you moved to stand in front of them, still keeping some distance between you.

“I know everything’s a little scary right now, and confusing, and that you’re a little lost in your head right now, but everything’s going to be okay. Even if it doesn’t quite feel like that yet.” You kept your voice gentle and calm, and didn’t let your gaze wander anywhere else. “…how about we sit down on the ground, yeah? Nice and comfy.”

Keeping your eyes trained on Loki for any hint of something going wrong or their flight instincts activating further, you slowly knelt to the ground before fully sitting, bringing your knees to your chest. A few moments later, and Loki did the same, breathing still coming in ragged little gasps that shook their entire body with every heave.

You nodded in silence, and smiled a bit before speaking again. “Okay. You know what comes next. Five things you can see.”

“Can’t.” Loki bit the word out like even just that single syllable was a struggle to pronounce, and you nodded along sympathetically.

“That’s okay. I’ll help you. You can see me, that’s one thing. What else?”

For the briefest second, you could see Loki’s eyes go in and out of focus as they fought to ground themself, and you waited to see if they would say anything.

“…bench.” A long pause. “Mirror.” Loki seemed to wrestle with each word that came out of their mouth, but you let them take all the time that they needed. “…weights. Dummy.”

You nodded, smiling a little more. “Good. You’re doing really good. I’m proud of you.” You could tell that their gaze didn’t seem quite so distant now, as they were being forced to come back to themself slowly but surely, and their breathing had started to even out, if only slightly. “Four things you can touch.”

It didn’t take Loki as long to start answering this time.

“Bracelet,” was the first thing they said, and you smiled as you realized that they were touching the silly friendship bracelet you’d insisted upon making.

“I’ve got mine on, too.” You held your wrist up, grateful that they managed to spare a glance at you. “What else?”

“…clothes. My own hands. The floor.”

They were starting to speak in longer sentences now, which was a good sign that whatever horrible things had been hazing their mind were finally starting to let up.

“You’re doing so good, Loki. I’m really proud of you. What can you hear?”

“My breathing. Our friends, talking in the other room. Your voice.”

You nodded along with every sound they pointed out, a little impressed that Loki could hear the muffled sounds of the rest of the team chattering from down several hallways.

“And what can you smell?”

“Metal.”

That one gave you pause, and then you realized they must have been talking about the various dumbbells and other weights and weapons stored in here for practice. You’d never really thought about them having a smell, but now that Loki had pointed it out, you couldn’t not notice it.

“And sweat.”

In almost comedic unison, the both of you scrunched your noses, and then you laughed softly. “Yeah, you kinda picked a… horrible place to come have a panic attack. We should really spray some air freshener in here.”

That earned you a huff of a laugh from them, and you felt more of the weight on your chest lift a little. They were almost back. Their breathing had settled down to a normal, calm rate, and they were much more alert now, actually meeting your gaze as you spoke.

“Alright. Last one, I promise. One thing you can taste.”

“The honey, from the tea I was drinking earlier.” Loki responded immediately, and looked much calmer than they had before, and it made you happy to know that you’d been able to talk Loki down and help them come back to themself despite whatever had been troubling their mind.

“I’ll make you some more. We’ll go back whenever you’re ready, but you can stay in here as long as you like. I’d offer you some of my anxiety meds, but I think that would be kind of illegal.”

Loki huffed out another laugh, sounding much more like their usual self as they rolled their eyes playfully. “Now, we can’t have that.”

You laughed, as well, and let a more comfortable silence fall over the room for a while, switching your weight to your palms as you lounged out a little bit, ignoring the static in your legs as they struggled not to fall asleep.

“…we don’t have to talk about it, if you don’t want to, but if it was something I said, I’m sorry.”

Loki shook their head, and looked over at you. “It wasn’t. It just… happens sometimes. You know that, by now, surely.”

You did, but you still wanted to apologize, just in case. “Thanks for putting up with me babying you.”

“You aren’t babying. Besides, it really does help. And I appreciate your willingness to do so.”

You smiled, and they returned it. “I’m glad.”

You sat there for about ten minutes in the quiet before Loki finally pushed themself up to their feet, offering you a hand to help you up as well.

“Shall we have that tea now?” They held an arm out to you in a goofily regal manner, and you laughed, taking it with a roll of your eyes as you began to walk together.

“We shall.”

[marycecilyy]

Hey could you do headcanons for the mcl guys (or if not all of them castiel, armin, and kentin) when their S/O is a famous singer? Thank you❤

Oh god this turned out so longer than I expected huahahushaushu

First of all, these are too long to be headcanons, all three of them have more than 1k words each. Also, I changed a bit the prompt. It's more like "Candy has the dream of becoming a famous singer". The rest you'll see... I'll only say that I'm very proud of this one ;)

Castiel, Armin and Kentin with a Candy that wishes to be a famous singer

Castiel

Castiel wasn’t one to be friendly to new students, but he knew you weren’t like any other when you came to him and asked if Winged Skull was one of his favorite bands too. He was shocked to know that there was another person at Sweet Amoris who enjoyed the same bands as him. Yes, bands (in plural). After he answered that, yes, Winged Skull was his favorite band of all times, you started talking about your common interests and discovered that there were many.

He was a very closed off guy, but somehow you managed to break into his skull in a short time and, in a few months, you turned into best friends.

When Debrah came back and that whole situation happened, your fight with Castiel had a lot of impact over you. In your head, you had just lost your best friend forever. Fortunately. Lysander not only helped you recover from the blow and gave you energy to gather your friends and expose Debrah, but also helped you admit to yourself that, you did have feelings for Castiel.

Once she was unmasked and ran away like a coward, things quickly came back to normal. In less than one week, you had restored your reputation, your friends apologized for misjudging you, Castiel and you were once again friends. The only difference was that you knew that you were in love with him.

You didn’t tell him about your feelings right away, you decided to keep your friendship and focus a bit on your lifelong goal: become a music star. You started learning how to sing properly and doubled the days of your guitar lessons. Castiel even helped you get into the music club (they were full when you got into Sweet Amoris, but he found a way to enroll you).

You knew that your chances of actually becoming famous were pretty low, the market was difficult and depended a lot on having the right contacts. That was why, while you tried putting your name out there, your plan was to get a degree in music as soon as you finished high school. Antheros Academy offered a good education and was close, it was your best option.

As you channeled your energies towards your goal, Castiel started to acknowledge his own sentiment towards you. He liked to watch your focused face as you tuned your guitar and your singing voice earned a sweet accent all of the sudden. He always considered you a special girl, but, to his surprise, feelings were starting to develop inside his closed off chest.

That was why, as soon as he won those concert tickets on a raffle, he knew he’d take you there as your first date. Luckily for him, you accepted right away. Castiel had a feeling that night would be something else.

And it really was, as he kissed you, without even thinking it through, when the vocalist sung what he knew was your favorite tune. When you kissed him back, he wrapped his hands over your waist and lifted you up, feeling your warm lips open up for him.

The months that followed were full of bliss. With you and Castiel officially dating, the school had a lot to talk about. Amber pestered you quite a bunch of times, but that didn’t mess with your relationship at all. Everything was perfect, as it was supposed to be.

But that didn’t last long. Right after you finished high school, your dad had to move to another town because of his job and you had no choice but to go too. You were sure that your relationship would survive the distance, after all, you were in love. This situation would be worked out.

Castiel came to your new house a couple of times and you two called frequently, but in the end distance started to grow between the both of you… and it hurt. Knowing that Castiel was sad made you miserable and you decided to break up before it became unbearable.

You lost your count of how many nights you cried thinking about him.

4 years later.

You were zipping your jeans up when you heard a knock on your dressing room’s door. Who could it be? Your parents had already congratulated you over the phone, there was no one supposed to come that night. Did your manager schedule a press interview for after the show?

You put on your shirt and told whoever was on the other side to wait. When you finally opened the door, your jaw almost fell. You couldn’t believe he was there.

He looked exactly like in the magazines, (a bit less photoshopped, but that was to expect. You went through that as well and it sucked). His hair was shoulder-length and he wore a black shirt that showed off the tattoos up to the middle of his arm. He wore some light makeup, most on his skin, which you deduced his manager made him put on. Castiel looked like you expected him to after all those years, but one thing about him surprised you.

His eyes, although more mature and serious, had the same brightness as before.

"Are ya going to keep staring like that?” He asked and you noticed you had just been looking at him for a solid minute.

“Sorry. Come in.” You said and made space for him to enter the room. For your luck, there was nothing private to be seen, you had the habit of leaving your clothes and personal belongings messy and only cleaning up the second you had to go.

Castiel cleared his throat. An awkward silence hung between you. You hadn’t been alone with each other ever since the breakup. You two were two of the biggest stars of nowadays rock music, but you barely had any opportunity to talk. Not that you haven’t tried, it was the opposite. You avoided contact. Your fans knew you had dated in high school (you used to have pictures on your personal instagrams and fans were quick to dig over old accounts to find information about their idols), so they never expected a feat or any kind of collab. Everyone knew that you weren’t on best terms.

You remembered just a couple of days ago, when you were interviewed for one of those talk shows. The host made a lot of personal questions about Castiel and even asked if you would get back with him if you had the chance. You tried to avoid answering, but the public instantly read your unconscious signs: yes, you would.

That was why, you assumed, he was there. To make things clear. After all, because of you yours and his fans started shipping you two and got you on twitter’s trending topics. He probably was pissed. There was also a possibility of him wanting to take advantage of the situation, maybe propose a fake relationship? No, that wasn’t like him. Or was it? You barely knew him anymore.

“So… you probably guessed why I’m here. I saw your interview” You were right, then. “And I want to make things clear.” Ouch. You should prepare for the blow. “Look, we both know time has passed and we’re not the same as before. You broke up to avoid more suffering, and I get that. I really do.”

Castiel crossed his arms and glared at you. You looked back at him with fear, fear of knowing what his next words would be. “But...?” You asked.

“Tsk.” He huffed. This would be more difficult than he thought. “Look, little girl…” You felt a shiver run through your spine at the sound of the old nickname he gave you. You had always loved it, even though you didn’t say it out loud. After what felt like hours, he continued. “I don’t want to be cheesy, that’s not like me. So I’ll just say that if what all of the fans are theorizing is true.... If you do want to try again....”

Castiel took your hand and you jumped in surprise. He turned your palm to him and grabbed a pen from his back pocket. He wrote down a phone number on your hand and let go of it, capped the pen and turned around to go.

"That's my personal number. It’s pretty useful if you wanna call me without having to schedule an appointment with my manager.” You managed to laugh. You knew exactly how these things were annoying.

Inside, you were bursting with excitement. However, you answered playfully “Hm…. I’ll think about it, mr. Rockstar” Castiel chuckled and excused himself, saying that his manager would get pissed at him if he took too long. You smiled.

Maybe it was not over, after all.

Armin

When you told Armin, very early on your friendship, that your dream was to become a famous singer, he got so excited for you. He already knew that you played the guitar and was good at singing, but he had no idea that you wanted to make this your career path.

You couldn’t have chosen a better partner. Being the tech nerd that Armin was, he helped you a lot in recording your covers with the best quality possible considering the amateur camera and microphone you had.

However, the times that his presence most comforted you was when you showed him your new songs. He was always eager to see your composing progress and gave you pure honesty in his feedback, keeping in mind that he was no expert but still wanted to help you.

You always asked him for a way to return his favors, but he always said that it was his duty as your best friend to support you and that it was more than enough having you to talk about all his geek interests.

As time passed, you started to notice that you liked him way more as a friend. Without an idea of what to do, you asked Rosa and Alexy for advice. They were your closest friends apart from your crush (and you couldn’t run to him in that situation, duh)

After a dozen pro tips and date ideas from them, you decided to take Armin to the movies (basic, you knew, but couldn’t go wrong).

When you asked him if he was available Saturday night, you didn’t say properly “Hey, we’re going on a date”. Actually, you didn’t mention the word “date” at all, hoping that he would read between the lines.

And he did, because as soon as you sat and the film started, Armin grabbed your hand that was resting in the armrest and entwined your fingers. You couldn’t pay attention to what was going on screen at all and your attention was completely drawn from the movie when the boy grabbed your chin and brought your lips to his.

You only stopped kissing when the lights went on and the credits started scrolling.

“Hey…” You asked as soon as you two left the place, holding hands with him. “What was the movie about again?”

Armin laughed out loud. He teased you about it a lot before you made him confess that he didn’t know either.

A few days later, it was him who asked you out. You kept going on dates for the next week, all of them simple but interesting at the same time. However, you two weren’t dating. The whole school knew there was something going on between you two by the chuckles and timid kisses when you thought nobody saw them, but you didn’t make things official… yet. But that was about to change.

It was friday and you invited Armin over to “study” (he was sure that the afternoon would be spent between videogames and kisses, but if you wanted to call it a study session, it was okay for him).

As he comfortably sat on your bed as if it were his own, you told him to wait as you brought him some juice. When you came back, he was already grabbing his nintendo switch from his bag.

“What makes you think that we’re here to game?” You teased, handing him the glass.

“Come on, Candy, we both know that none of us are interested in learning orbital hybridization…”

“Maybe I am. I really need a good grade on those tests.” You approached him and held his jaw up so your foreheads touched. With a trailed voice, you continued. “Unless you have something more interesting to do in mind...”

Armin opened up that playful smile of his. “Oh, I do, actually.” In a quick movement that caught you off guard, he threw you in bed and started pampering you with kisses all over your face. You couldn’t stop laughing from how his hands tickled your belly, but you managed to stop him. “W-Wait, Armin!”

He looked at you, confused. “What?”

As you caught your breath, you explained that there was something you wanted to show him first. You got off the bed and went to grab your guitar that was hung up on the free wall of your bedroom.

“Did you compose a new song?” Armin deducted as you sat in front of him again, this time with your guitar in hands.

“You’ll see.” You tuned your instrument under his curious gaze. When you felt satisfied with the sound, you looked back at him. Armin didn’t miss the blush that coloured your cheeks. “I know you’d never do it, but I have to ask even so: promise you won’t laugh.”

You started playing the first chords of the song you had finished composing just a few days before. Usually, you composed simple songs that anyone could identify with, songs about friendship, inspiration, changing the world. You never wrote about your personal feelings. The notes never made you cry.

This song was special, though, because it was about him.

The day it hit you that you had feelings for him, you had the idea of writing random verses that could one day fit into a new song. After your first date, you felt so overwhelmed that, looking at the words, you decided to turn them into a song. You didn’t think it would turn into something so personal and emotional. Every note, every word, everything was clearly about him, that dorky geek you had fallen in love with.

Falling deeper every time

I can’t help but think, oh my

I’m through, but I don’t mind

Would you trade you 2D girls

For this hopeless lover

That just wants your heart?

I’ll just say that he got the message very clearly and, as soon as you finished playing, he practically jumped on you, kissing your lips with such tenderness that you almost teared up.

Of course, he asked you to be his girlfriend XD

Kentin

The first time he heard about your dream, he was still little Ken. It was one of your first days at Sweet Amoris and you two were eating cookies in the staircase. You were ranting about how sad you were that the music club was already full and you couldn’t join. Ken asked you the reason why you were so upset.

“Well… There weren’t those kind of classes in our old school. Learning how to play an instrument and sing, even during extra classes would be so cool! If I went well, maybe I’d be able to convince my dad to pay me for some private classes and then I’d be one step closer to my dream!”

“Your dream?” Ken muttered.

“Yeah! I want to become a famous singer in the future! I know that it’s impossible and even kinda silly, but-”

“No, Candy! It’s not silly at all!” Ken said. Learning more about you made him happy and he didn’t want you to think for even a second that your dream was worthless. “You shouldn't be ashamed of dreaming big. You’ll have a long, difficult path to walk through, but when you get there - and you have my word on that - I’ll be cheering for you!”

“Ken... “ You flashed your best smile at him. It meant a lot to you to have his support, he was a kind person and a very good friend (he did cross a few limits with his adoration for you, but you weren’t bothered by it). You liked being around him a lot.

-x-

“Kentin!” You threw yourself in his arms and gave him a tender kiss. “Good morning.”

Your boyfriend chuckled and held your hand, walking with you through the hallway. You talked about how your weekend had been and, between light smiles and sweet kisses, you thought of how quickly things changed between you two.

When he came back from military school, a lot of things had changed in him, including his nickname. You were facing a new person and it had been a challenge discovering Kentin and building a new relationship with him.

Even though he was a different person from before, one thing didn’t change at all and you noticed it clearly: he still liked you. Obviously he was no longer that guy who professed his feelings to everyone and followed you everywhere, he had found new ways to show you his love. You enjoyed that more mature version of him, but wished he had the opportunity to grow into a man without all the trauma he went through. You knew that most of his growth had been through suffering, and that upset you.

You didn’t know when, but somewhere into your friendship you started to grow feelings for him too. After some coaxing from Rosa and Alexy, you managed to ask him out on an official date.

The whole school already knew that Kentin was head over heels for you, but everyone was shocked to know that you loved him back as your relationship became official.

“Hey, love.”

“What?” You asked your boyfriend back as soon as you got in front of your lockers. You started looking for your books, checking that day’s classes.

“I really liked that video you posted on youtube yesterday. I never heard that song before, did you compose it yourself?”

The book you held in your hand fell to the ground. “What video?” You whispered, eyes wide.

“What do you mean, babe? That video of you singing and playing the guitar. You uploaded it yesterday night. I saw right away, you know I have my notifications turned on to all your videos. I got surprised that you decided to finally show your face and sing something of your own and- Candy? Is everything okay?”

Kentin noticed your face and got worried for you. You looked absolutely terrified.

“That video… How did you see it? I posted it as private”

“No, you didn't. It was public.” Kentin was starting to understand why you were so surprised. He put one hand on your back as you blushed and hid your face on his chest in embarrassment.

“Oh god, I can’t believe I did that! I’m so stupid! The first time I record something like that, I accidentally post it for everyone to see! Dumb, dumb Candy! Dang, now everyone’s gonna know I’m bad!”

“First of all.” Your boyfriend frowned, bringing you close to him. “You’re not dumb, you just made a mistake. And it’s okay, probably just a few people saw it. Last time I checked was before I went to sleep and it only had 20 views. But why are you so upset, Candy? Didn’t you tell me a few days ago that you were finally ready to show your face along with the covers. Did something happen to change your mind?”

“Well, I was not ready to show right away, especially not in a video that I looked terrible in. And it’s not just that. It was my first original song. I never showed it to anyone, what if it sucks?”

Kentin held your chin up and looked you in the eyes. “Candy, it doesn’t suck and you look great in the video!” You closed your eyes and snuggled close to him. “But I understand your concerns. Luckily, that can be solved if you delete the video. You’ll have other opportunities to get famous, and with better videos.”

“Yeah, I can do that.” You reached for your phone and went to your youtube page. “Fu... No way…!”

Your hands trembled. Kentin was right, the video had few views (which was good). Only 50 people had seen it, but the problem wasn’t that. For your bad luck, one of those people had been Amber. You knew that because she had left three comments on your video.

AmberOfficial: lmaooooo

AmberOfficial: Thank you for the laughs. That’s hilarious

AmberOfficial: Just give up already, looser

“That girl....” Kentin grunted, looking at your phone screen. “I swear to you, Candy, I’ll make her regret this. I’ll-”

“You don’t need to, I’m fine.”

You untangled your arms from his torso and started walking away, trying your best to hide how upset you really were. Amber was right, your music sucked. You should give up on your dream of becoming a famous singer, not only because you were bad, but also because you could barely show your face to a few people without feeling like shit. You wouldn’t be able to deal with fame.

Kentin tried to call you, but you didn’t answer. He figured you needed some time alone. He could use that time to think of something to support you and get back at Amber.

-x-

You walked out of the bathroom, your eyes red and swollen from crying. You had already deleted the video, but you couldn’t stop feeling stupid for getting so upset by a few bad comments. And feeling stupid made you even more upset.

When you got to the hallway, it was empty due to classes having already started. You probably spent half an hour locked up, but at least no one would mess with you.

You went to the garden to get some fresh air and wait until the next class started. You sat at the bench, breathed in and finally calmed down a bit.

“Candy.”

You turned around, surprised to see your boyfriend. “Kentin! What are you doing here? Classes have already started.”

He just waved his hand in a “don’t worry about that” way and sat beside you. He kissed your cheek and took your hand, checking how you were. Seeing that you seemed to be more calm, he smiled lightly at you. “So… I talked to Armin. He already found out Amber’s password and he’ll hack into Amber’s youtube account. He’ll just mess with it for a bit, delete some videos and upload some random stuff. Nothing too bad, I promise, just some memes and rickrolls.”

“Hmm…” You muttered, thinking about what he said. It wasn’t right, for sure, but you didn’t feel like stopping them. You were still hurt. “Okay. Just promise you two won’t do something serious, okay?”

He agreed. You felt a bit better, but that wasn’t enough to lift your mood and Kentin knew that. That was why he also had something else prepared. "That 's not all. I did some quick search for places where you could record that music of yours with its deserved quality. You are a good composer, Candy, believe it. Your talent doesn’t have to stay hidden in a dark room with only you, a guitar and your cellphone recording it.”

“Kentin…”

“If you want to, I’ll help you rent a studio and record your song. That would be very useful for your portfolio. I know that’s expensive, but we can find ways to-” You cut him off with a kiss. He cared about you so much, to the point of skipping classes to think of ways to make you feel better. You loved your boyfriend so much…

Lucky. You felt lucky to have him.

“I love you. Thank you for taking care of me... “ You kissed his cheek, happy to have his support. That was more than enough at that moment, Amber’s words were far behind you. All that mattered was that you could go through this.

You had Kentin, and when you had him, you had your whole world holding you so you wouldn’t fall.

[missgeniality]

Opaline Moon (m)

“The Moon can never breathe, but it can take our breath away with the beauty of its cold, arid orb.” - Munia Khan

➺ Banner: @hobiandsprite​ 💕

➺ Pairing: Seokjin x Female Reader

➺ Trope: Friends to Lovers, Idol!AU

➺ Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff

➺ Rating: 18+

➺ Word Count: 11.2k

➺ Summary: You are ingrained to love Jin, right upto the blood that courses through your veins. Confessing, however, is a whole other game. So it’s a good thing you’re bad at keeping your hands to yourself, because happenstance can handle the rest. 

➺ Warnings: talks about dance floor fucking, making out in the bar bathroom, fingering, pussy slapping, passing out drunk, daydreams about thigh riding, reader masturbates, they make out A LOT, neck kissing, a hickey, nipple play, some biting, cum eating (kind of, you’ll see), blowjob, protected sex!, reader and jin are corny, the hurt is real but the sex is real-er

➺ Author’s Note: My lovely, lovely moots - @taegularities​, @kithtaehyung​ and @baepsaetan​, thank you so much for betaing this and hyping it up, your comments made this fic a hundred times better! As I mentioned on the teaser, this fic took a lot out of me, but I thoroughly enjoyed writing the angst and will write more whenever the story aligns! I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I did writing, and I hope this lovable Jin reaches your heart! (ngl, in usual fashion, I will come back and edit it again, so if you see a spelling mistake, your eyes are lying to you) Do let me know what you think, your asks and comments make my day!

This is the second part of my Dress Down series, find more at it’s masterlist!

ɴᴀᴠɪɢᴀᴛɪᴏɴ | ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ

Sweltering heat. Blaring traffic. Little to no sleep. Through all things wrong, one man’s thoughts wrapped around you like a cooling breeze, a shield to protect you from the vicissitudes of reality, to draw you back into all of him. Unfortunately, your reality may never see that day come to light.

Kim Seokjin.

Kim Seokjin, the man who cooked you up a greasy break-up meal at three in the morning with not a sight of discomfort, putting your needs above all.

Kim Seokjin, whose puns make you roll your eyes heavenward, half awed at how he manages to pull one out of his collection at a moment's notice, and half irked by the untimely laugh it brings out of you.

Kim Seokjin, the man who will never be yours, and you have no one to blame but yourself. 

One could argue that the miscommunication that had caused this present condition was two-way. If you had stopped him, corrected him, let him know the truth… you wouldn’t have to resort to the extreme measures you’re currently entangled in. One would also say, you are trying to redeem your mistake by trying too hard. Surely, everyone and their mothers could see through your ruse. 

This is the fourth time you’re visiting Jin for his BE shoot - a shoot taking place two hours away from the city, disguised under various layers of secrecy to prevent any leakage of the album concept, or Jin in general. Of course, you had been made privy to such exclusive information, because you and Jin were ‘best friends’. 

Best. Friends.

Nothing more, nothing less.

Best friends. The term you coined for (and forced upon) the bond you had. The bond that was too close to sprouting into something new, something fresh, something that was filled with glimmering allure and dragged you in like quicksand. But also, it reeked of commitment, of shadows, of newness that you hadn’t felt in the longest time, and fear of already being far too deep in without even taking the first step. 

The loud thrum of some internet kid’s new hit pulses through the air of the club as bundles of couples occupy the dance floor, laughing and gyrating to a song that, in your opinion, most definitely does not suit gyrating. But with enough of the weekend happy hours intake combined with hormone-riddled minds, one could very well throw it back to a church choir. 

You weave through the drunken bodies, trying not to spill the precariously held three drinks in your hands, making your way to your inner circle, the only people to blame for dragging you to this slosh-fest.

“Y/N!” 

Somehow Hoseok’s voice can echo across the club, but you didn’t even need his addressal because Jin’s laughter is loud enough to navigate anyone to your table. Seeing you struggle with the glasses (and mostly the crowd, with some of them living their exhibitionist dreams), Hoseok gets up to assist you.

“I swear, if I see one more couple pretending to be dancing as they rub one off of each other’s thighs, the black market will have my eyes.”

“Oh yeah?” Jin’s breathy voice interjects your black-market dreams, still bursting in short laughs from whatever sent him rolling before your arrival. “Why don’t you go join them?”

“And whose thigh is she taking, yours?” Yeji snorts out, one hand holding her nebula blue drink, the other wrapped around Hoseok, urging him to come closer. Jin’s features scrunch into a cringe, and you’re thankful for the dim lighting because the disappointment in your features does not reach them.

“The only action these leather pants are getting is in the damned laundromat,” he points to his shiny trousers, “some jerk dropped his drink on it.”

“You could be the first person to give some chick an orgasm and a yeast infection.” Hoseok giddily adds, his fifth shot clearly making a mess of his brain cells. 

Jin claps and gets up to move away from the group. “Better than a pregnancy!” he yells, before zigzagging through the crowd, possibly to the restroom. He is on his third cocktail, and you’d think cocktails are lighter drinks. But in this bar, their taps just seem to flow with tequila, and it is very evident in the way Jin is currently walking.

His absence hits you harder than you think, but it might be the alcohol talking. Jin has always been the mood-maker of the group, the one who brings everyone together. Of late though, his magnetic persona has been an irritant in your life. Any outing you two take, any chance you have to come clean about the burgeoning crush you have on him, is effectively disrupted by one of his posse. And today, Hoseok and Yeji took that trophy. 

“Earth to Y/N. Has the cocktail finally broken you?”

You flutter your eyes in a manic fashion, to disperse the daydream you were indulging yourself in, and bring your attention back to the couple calling for you. Surprisingly, they have stood up, Yeji emptying the last of her neon drink. 

“What happened?”

“We are going to the club nearby, they have better stuff. And that’s code for ‘they actually add water to the drink and the surround sound doesn’t shatter your ear drum’.’” 

She isn’t wrong. The cocktails and music here are a 19-year-old frat party dream, not something the working class can digest. But you’re tired at this point, and don’t want to be smothered by someone else’s love life when your own is down the dumps.

“You guys carry on! I’ll tell Jin where you are and he’ll meet you there!”

You watch as Hoseok and Yeji lead each other to the exit, hands circling their partner’s waist. They giggle on and on, about nothing and everything, and it only hardens the emptiness you feel inside you. 

Why can’t you gather the balls to spit your feelings out? What could possibly go wrong? Yes, you may lose one of your closest friends, but is this friendship really worth the agony? The bitterness you feel when you see any couple enjoying themselves? The anger you harbor whenever Jin tells you about his dates? The heartache, when he hugs you and tells you that you’re the best thing that’s happened to him… as a friend? Is it? Your plastered brain tells you to not make any rash decisions, so you don’t, instead choosing to get up and search for your best friend. 

The corridor leading to the washrooms is dimly lit, throwing a merlot filter over your eyesight, making you squint in search of your friend. You being shitfaced does not help, and while relishing in your floating wooziness, you see Jin come out, and feelings you’ve held at bay for so long slither through your currently porous defenses. 

He has always been good-looking. He himself has said so a dozen times.

But wow.

His hair lays messily atop his beautiful face, unkempt, like a breeze of beauty swept across his mighty looks and displaced every strand, causing disarray, but even the disarray only frames his superior looks and adds to its potent charm. The black, patchy sweater hanging loose off his broad shoulders makes you feel things you shouldn’t feel as a friend. That stupid gut of yours is currently screaming, yelling for all hands on deck, trying to block all the feelings from gushing in and sending you into overdrive.

By the time you can gather yourself to stop from giving in to those dangerous thoughts, Jin has crossed the distance between you, coming close, too close. Chocolate-brown eyes peer into your soul, searching for whichever fantasy you chose to lose yourself in. His eyes flit down to notice your rumpled dress that has found its way a couple of inches above its designated spot. His gaze returns to yours, but not without a newfound hardness, an almost steely glaze over the kindness that you usually find in the chocolate pools, accentuated under the garnet lighting. 

“Hey, umm…” You beg for a reprieve, from your thoughts, from your filthy mind, from the way he is eyeing your cleavage, or just for the burning between your legs. You’re about to make some serious mistakes, you can feel it down to your bone.

You’re far too overdressed. 

You knew it when you were in the process of getting dressed, but right now, you feel it much more - you look like a shiny disco ball orbiting amidst the plethora of loose tees, leggings and flannels. Everything screams comfort, because the amount of work they’re putting into this begs for it. 

The strappy lace sundress you wear is extremely out of place, the halter-neck tie behind your neck fastened a little looser than necessary, giving your breasts the exposure they deserve, a nice valley view. Your dress skirt, adorned with pretty frills and dainty flowers, cut across your thigh to frame your petite hips. You are one floppy sun hat away from an extravagant Greek cruise - and in the moment you wish you had one to hide your face in shame. 

You’re just out here, trying to escape the zone. 

“Oh, would you look at the time, it’s tits out Tuesday already?”

Your eyes roll before Sanghoon even finishes his sentence, because you wouldn’t expect anything else from him. On the team of the set design, he is carrying a whole drapery worth of plush, mauve curtains, struggling with the slipping fabric. But apparently not struggling enough to stop him from getting his nose into your business, it seems.

“Literally not even a time you just mentioned. Can’t get one thing right.” You can’t stop yourself from stretching a hand out to feel the curtain fabric, the satiny sheets begging to be touched. Before you can though, Sanghoon moves away, not allowing you to shift the focus of the conversation.

“Don’t steer away from the facts. Your tits.”

“That’s the fact?”

“They’re out.” He bucks up, trying to point with the hand stuffed underneath all the cloth. “That’s the fact.”

“Ugh, can’t a girl dress up once in a while?” The pointed attention makes you uncomfortable, because everything he’s insinuating is true. With every passing staff member, you count a new shade of grey, interspersed with occasional blacks and greens, a stark contrast to your floral overtones. Amidst the thousand footsteps taken in your vicinity, only yours are pointed heels, echoing across the studio with every clack. But you’re a stubborn one, refusing to give in to his totally valid argument. “I just woke up early.”

“Girl.” Like light through frosted glass, he sees through your bullshit, but only partially. “You put an alarm to dress up? I have nightmares of the boss brandishing her whip and telling me to get into position, and even that doesn’t wake me up.” 

“Have you ever considered… not announcing your kinks to everyone and their sisters?”

“Ehh,” he simply shrugs, “nothing is new when you’ve serenaded your boss drunk in a karaoke bar and still managed to keep your job. Wait. Is that highlighter?”

“Stop staring into my tits!” You can’t believe you got caught, but also, who can you blame? After testing this outfit out from the crack of dawn, you decided your cleavage needed some extra help. Three YouTube tutorials and one TikTok lady - who make it look far easier than it is - down, the contouring brought out the swell of your breasts, and against the light fabric of your dress, it does look too good to be true.

Memories of that night in the bar come in billows and waves, of how enamored Jin was with the way your boobs looked at that time. Even under the dingy lighting, in the cramped space, under heavily inebriated scrutiny, you couldn’t miss the flicker of heat in his gaze every time it passed your chest. 

One thing led to another, and it was a cascade none of you could stop. The heat of attraction between you two does not help your wandering mind, and the fever drowns the knowledge that what you’re feeling is, beyond a shadow of a doubt, crossing some lines that can never be mended back again. With the proximity, his musky scent invades whatever defenses you were trying to patch, piercing through all your inhibitions and you pull him into you, claiming his lips to be yours. 

With his wobbly knees and your wobbly heels, you somehow find your way to the washroom - mostly he does, you give in halfway to wrap your legs around his lean waist, his sturdy legs balancing your weight on them as your back hits the wall, and his lips tear down your walls. 

“You look so fucking sexy today,” between bated breaths and indulgent sighs you confess, “just driving me nuts.” Letting your hands drag along his abdomen, feeling the ups and downs of his abs, you attempt to rid him of the sweater that’s been on your hit list all night. But to your dismay, your endeavor is blocked, when Jin gathers your wrists in his palm, turning you around to bend you over on the countertop, the smooth marble chill hitting your braless chest, perking your nipples under the cold. 

“And you?” Jin bends to give your earlobe a languid lick, progressing very slow, a complete contrast to the movement of his hips as he ruts against your ass, your already short dress bunching up with every move. “You think it’s smart to have your tits torment me like this?” Grabbing a handful from behind, he tests the weight of each fleshy mound, and by now you are certain your perked nubs can pierce his palm. 

His free hand, not yet torturing you, decides to get in on the action and disappears under the counter, swiftly crossing the bunched fabric of your dress, gaining easy access to your pussy. The cold touch of his pads sears against the heat of your core, finding your pleasure button and languidly fiddling with it, with no intention to cross you over the brink in sight. The only pleasure you can indulge in is the reflection of him abusing your nipples, pinching and tugging them down, whispering filthy words into your ear as he takes in your fucked out countenance. 

You feel lacking, weak hands balancing your dizzy self, finding purchase to keep you upright - but you’re both drunk on alcohol and hypnotized by his beauty to do much more than stare at his mirrored counterpart. “For fuck’s sake, kiss me.” 

How he understood your slurred words, you don’t know, but you are glad he did. In a moment you’ve been displaced, the hurried motion sending your neurons into a flurry. Once your back meets the hard marble, and your eyes have the privilege to see his, you pull him in closer, the force enough to hold you against the wall while your legs wrap around his lean waist. 

Originally not a fan of drunken misadventures, that side of yours is strangely mute to the going current onslaught. Well, you don’t have much breath left to say anything, because Jin is efficiently stealing it all, his teeth clashing with yours as you engage in the messiest kiss ever known to mankind (or at least, to you). He changes pace often, dragging his tongue leisurely against your lower lip, conveying tacit words, just to switch it up with a sharp bite and reel you in. 

One corner of your senses can feel his fingers messing around your cunt, and playing with the wetness your thong can barely contain. It makes you shudder, the damage that his fingers can cause solely circling around your hole. 

“Fuck me.” 

In your drunken stupor, you don’t know if the words leave you right, but you get confirmation when his long fingers finally penetrate your cunt, giving your walls something to clench on - although nothing could possibly compare to what you imagine you can get from his dick.

“God, you feel that grip,” he grunts, with two of his fingers in you, and Jin’s smile is the most sinister you’ve ever seen. “I think we should take this home,” is what his lips utter, but his fingers delve deeper, searching for the spot that crumbles you. The base of his palm grinds against your throbbing clit, and you are forced to bite down on this sweater, lest an embarrassingly loud moan escapes you and cues outsiders into your filthy doings. 

“Now,” you half-hiss, half-growl as you grab the cusp of his legs to feel his half-hard erection grow under the pressure of your hand. Your palm sliters up just to go down again, this time without the blockade of his pants, but you are stopped short of success when Jin’s fingers slip out of you to give you a sharp swat. 

“Stubborn, aren’t we? Can’t fucking wait,” he whispers into your ear, and as he envelops your lobe with his cushiony lips, he continues, “I don’t want to hurt you.”

No, no, no. 

Your brain rejects logic, chews and spits it out before any of the rationale seeps into you. You have wanted this for far too long. The need inside you for a meaningful relationship materializes in the form of recklessness, desperately looking for surface-level relief for the moment. A night of sewing sutures to your battle-worn heart, stitches that may come off at the slightest strain - but right now, that will do. 

“Please, Jin,” your tantalizing tone riles up his cock again, eagerly waiting for your next words, “can’t you feel me dripping? Come on, I can take you.”

“Fuck, hear that wetness.” He lets his palm slap against your sopping entrance, not stopping with one. With every slap, droplets of your arousal splash out, the insides of your thighs coated in the sticky sweetness, but your body is an endless reservoir producing plentiful more for Jin to play with. “Have you been sitting with this all this time?”

Two long fingers invade your channel again, leaving you with no response other than a gasp. They scissor incessantly, preparing you for what could be the railing of your lifetime. One curl inside and his fingertips hit the spot he was looking for, making you warp your body to take the pleasure coursing through your veins. His tongue seems to mimic the actions, looping around your earlobe as he sucks it inside, both ends of your body engulfed in all the attention he could provide. 

Your cunt is weeping against the assault of this man’s hands, tears of your cum flowing down your legs with every pump of his arm. You are getting there, the sweet swell of release inching closer and closer.

But something doesn’t feel right.

The tightness in your belly, that is to a point caused by Jin, is harboring other sensations that are not entirely pleasant. Maybe you’re anxious about the happenings. Maybe you haven’t had a good orgasm in a while and have just forgotten how this thing works.

Or maybe, the bar should have the water tap actually give out water.

Either your eyes close, or your brain does, but suddenly all you can see is darkness.

 Again, you are just trying to escape the zone.

“Step under those studio lights,” pointing at the too-bright stage lights being set up at the moment, Sanghoon continues, breaking your daydream, “I bet you could signal to aliens with the booby-reflection. Call them to Netflix and chill.”

“In about five seconds, my heel will be puncturing your eye. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!” 

Sanghoon’s drivel was cut short, and so were your murder plans, with his entry. “Oh look, he’s on set. Gotta go!” 

It’s like the lights, earlier threatening to burn away your skin, dim down in reverence of the glow of his face. The twinkle of his eyes when they meet yours. The shine of his smile when he throws you one. The vibrance of his tone when he calls out your name. Everything he does now threatens to burn you whole and it’s a wonder you’re not scalding, but the singe hurts you deep inside.

“Y/N! How do I look?” It’s a bathrobe. Like satin, or silk. Fucking hell, your brain could explode with the adjectives coming up, a whole chunk of them very much inappropriate to utter out in the current scene. Your arms want to rise, engulf him into you, and you have to physically halt the muscles from doing anything stupid. Brain, quick! Say something snarky and spicy, as best friends do!

“What’s the theme, unicorn puke?” The safest way to deflect is to attack. So you do just that. “You look like you dressed out of Hannah Montana’s closet. Which if it's true, I really need to see it. There’s a top that I’ve been eyeing for decades!”

“Don’t say decades.” Jin’s eyes crinkle in humor. “Makes me feel so old. Your dress is pretty cool too!” 

Cool.

You find out how difficult life can be when you count every single minute of yours. So far, you have counted 4,310 minutes. That is two days, twenty-three hours, and fifty minutes. Ten more minutes and it will be three whole days since you and Jin spoke. 

Yet again, you can’t blame him. When you came to the next day, you were in your bed, clad in the same shimmering silver bodycon that you had donned last night. The same one that had been privy to the colorful deeds you had committed in what was a dreary, colorless setting. 

One ibuProfen and ginger ale, downed with some severe recollections of the previous night, and you had been ready to throw it all up again. 

I don’t want to hurt you.

Words couldn’t describe what you were going through, and numbers weren’t invented to count the endless thoughts racing in your brain. You don’t know what is more upsetting. The fact that you actually had a chance to open your heart and you totally let your pussy think instead? Or that he was the one coherent enough to stop you from getting too far, and you let your desperation get the best of you? Everything about that night was wrong. And all the wrongs lie on your side. 

I don’t want to hurt you.

In the moment, it was physical, he had to have meant that. But there was a tremor in his voice, you can remember clear as day, a slightly shaken side of him had emerged through the intoxication, and the words he had breathed were not shallow. There was a gravity to them, that you’d stupidly ignored in the heat of the moment.

And now, here you are. Counting up till the last minute, after which you can effectively call the friendship ruined. Stirring your tea mindlessly, you try to focus on the show on TV, the variety show comedy not striking the usual funny bones that they could 4,311 minutes ago. 

The programmed ding of your phone bursts your thought bubble, a sound you have missed the past 72 hours. The ring you dedicated to Jin, that always had you running to receive because anything he sends brightens your day. But unlike those happier times, this ring has your gut fall into a pit of despair, struggling to choose between dispersing the suspense or remaining blissfully unaware of the damage you caused.

Jin: Free tmrw? We could grab coffee Jin: And talk

Talk. How? You barely remember what went down, save for fleeting moments that you recollected with great difficulty. Your fingers type back, trying to mimic the nonchalance in his text, that is very much absent in your actual demeanor.

Y/N: Sure. Paik’s at 1? Jin: Yup. See ya

Three texts, zero laughs. Of course, you’re not expecting him to land his jokes in this situation, even someone as talented as he can’t flip this tension. You’re just going to have to wait for tomorrow, when he decides whether you have a place in his life or not. 

The painstakingly worn outfit, accessorizing the whole look, the straps of your heels digging into your toes, the specks of makeup dust lying stale on your collar bones, the shine faints at that word. Cool. A perfectly normal phrase for a normal friendship. You are left maimed, while he absent-mindedly tends to the rope of his robe, blissfully unaware of the cyclonic emotions churning inside you. All you can possibly do is gulp it down. 

He runs his hands through his hair, beautiful locks coming out of place, and from one corner of the set, a groan of anguish emerges. 

“Oppa! Don’t play with your hair and face.” A masked lady runs forward waving combs that look like artillery, “We just got done setting it!”

Some finger guns, a happy apology, and some silly jokes later, all the stylists merrily round up to undo his doing, and Jin signals to you to catch up later. And as he walks away, the strings tugging at your heart reappear, as they do every time you come to meet him.

You have a masochistic streak in you, putting yourself through this every day, when he had made it clear, that you two never stood a chance. 

As if things aren’t already difficult, he looks like a dream. 

Soft, snowy skin gleaming like it has personal lighting wherever it goes, you get flashes of the rarely witnessed sweat on his skin, from the ferocity of last night. He’s blowing away the foam of his cappuccino, and tiny bubbles float into the air before falling flat on the table, like an animated shine that follows him along. God has His favorites, and God makes sure all the lighting in the world is perfect for these favorites. 

In no hurry, you wait at the counter to get your latte. After receiving it though, you can’t linger any longer and drag yourself to the table of doom.

“Hey.”

If the rasp in your voice is evident, he doesn’t show any recognition on his face. But you’ve learned to never trust an acting major. 

“Hi. How are you doing?”

Inadvertently, a snicker escapes your lips. “Are you interviewing me for a job?” you joke, trying to disperse the heavy air, filled with unspoken words. “If so, at least know that I’m very expensive.”

The familiar windshield wiper laugh does not greet you. Dead silence does. The half-smirk he painfully gives you is heavy, and the furrowed brows haven’t an inkling of joy. It shoots daggers in your heart, to know that you are the reason for this jolly man’s despondency. 

“Listen, I don’t think we should skirt around the issue too much. It happened, these things happen. You think Hoseok and Yeji didn’t have sex before making it official?”

His matter-of-fact nature isn’t new to you. Jin has always been a very practical man. Regardless of his inane sense of humor, his logical point of view has always been flawless. 

But right now, at this very moment, logic isn’t what you are looking for. You are looking for answers, but as far withdrawn from logic as possible, to take the edge off of the tension-laden air that surrounds your table.

“Yeah, but even… unofficially… we aren’t a thing, right?” 

Your abrupt question takes Jin unaware, almond eyes widening, like a toddler caught in an act. 

“No, no! Of course not! I would never!” 

His confession slips out with an ease that hurts you, digs deep to carve out the part of you that dreamt of anything more. Your eyes fall to your knees to avoid his perceptive gaze, the sting clear as the sky on a summer day. 

You force a smile and continue. “Then there’s no issue. Anyway,” you gulp your coffee down, burning your throat, but it's a distraction from the burning inside, “I need to get to work. Anything else?”

He’s still searching you, for what, you can’t possibly fathom. From the looks of it, he should be happy with this homeostasis; he doesn’t even know what this means for you. To still stay suspended in limbo, not being able to move up or down, to continue having thorns digging into your beating soul as you watch him like nothing bothers your already frail feelings. Scene by scene, you can visualize the future, him distancing himself from you as he finds the one he calls his, with you left in the shadows. Your knees tremble in fear of the impending future.

Seeing you in a tizzy, he calls out, the voice too loud for the cafe and your mind’s prison cage. 

“We’re still best friends, right?” If you knew better, you’d say his expression is that of sadness, of regret. But your judgment is clouded with your own bothers, and you interpret it as a look of pity. Like a lovesick puppy, kicked to the streets, with nowhere to call home. 

“Yeah! Always.” You give it as much enthusiasm as you can muster. 

Best friends.

Ropes wind around your heart, tugging and causing the deep ache that sets in as you walk back into your dreary building. Each string pulls you into a different dimension where you could move on, where you could be okay with the setting you had just agreed to. Where you would keep up your end of the promise and truly remain friends with him.

But no matter how strong the tug, your heart never yields, never lets go of the castle of dreams you built, staying steadfast in its own misery, choosing to hope, choosing to live the life of unrequited love.

“And that’s a wrap! Good job everyone!”

Applause and hurrays echo across the set to bring you back to the present. The shoot has officially concluded, which means it's time for your most favorite and least favorite part of the day - Jin and you doing best friend things, like grabbing lunch, gossiping about obnoxious coworkers, threatening to disembowel each other (in Mortal Kombat, of course) and other friendly activities. 

Ever so respectful, Jin takes his time thanking every member of the set, regardless of whether they moved a cushion or held the reflector screen for hours. All the women gush over his beauty, reminding him of how, even amidst the glowing ornaments, his face was the brightest. His responses vary, from quiet little giggles, to complimenting the crew for making it happen, to straight up owning his charisma like a boss. That’s your man. 

Well, not quite. Not one bit.

After exhausting the handshakes and hugs to be received, Jin walks to you, hands pushing his robe back to give it a cape like effect. You’re just glad that the man’s child persona still stays with him, no matter the situation.  He guides you to his green room, cracking his bones on the way, (very sexily, might you add).

“Holding a pose for that long gives me cramps! You’d think dancing breaks my back, and you’d be wrong.”

You’re desperately avoiding looking at his fingers, and keep your eyes below them - shoot! His ceaseless stretching gives you a glimpse under his shirt - it is dragging your memories back to the last time you saw them, and you’d rather not. It is hurting you in more ways than one. 

Eye contact is your safest bet. Looking up, you give him a lopsided grin. “Your grandfatherly days are approaching, Jinnie.” 

“Hey!” 

The rest of the conversation was less speaking, more yelling and chasing after each other to the green room, Jin taking mock-offence at your jab at his age, and his fingers reaching out to flick your forehead in retort. In your noisy, messy fashion, you both finally enter the room, dim gold light bulbs and shiny mirrors meeting your huffing self. 

One hand on your knee, you hold on to Jin’s arm with your other, gasping for breath. 

“Your grandmotherly days are already here, Y/N,” he snorts, and earns a kick on the shin, but that doesn’t stop him from bursting into snickers.

“Wow, why does one man need 4 mirrors?” You gape at his current green room, mouth wide open. It looks better than your entire apartment, with the counter carrying top-of-the-line makeup products. Only the best for this man. “So you can admire yourself from 4 different angles?”

Jin has disappeared into one of the inner rooms, but you can hear him snort at your comment. “Come on, I’m not that conceited. When the whole crew shoots together, the extra mirrors help.” The last part of that sentence is muffled, and that cues you into an important fact. 

Jin is currently changing into something more comfortable.

A process that includes him getting naked.

Well maybe he doesn’t get fully naked, top on, top off, bottom on, bottom of-

Still. You’re sweating like a whore in church. 

And things only get tougher when he finally comes out. 

The ocean blue sweater he dons is tucked in. Who tucks in sweaters? Kim Seokjin. Why does he tuck sweaters? Oh, because he’s got an amazing waistline that he should most definitely show off, and the heat between your thighs becoming increasingly potent is a testament to that. You pretend to adjust your heels, giving the right expressions to show you’re in pain, but in actuality you are bringing your legs closer to get you some relief, just any relief. 

Ripped jeans too. You get a peek of the thighs you were denied access to the night of the fuckening. Ridged and beautiful, not a speck in sight to mar his perfection. You are glad the facial expressions for pain and pleasure are not far apart, because your thighs, albeit very lacking, are helping the imagery in your head. Just Jin, seated on one of these leather chairs, and you straddling his thigh, clit aching against the strands of the rips in his denim, the fabric soaking up the wetness, with every push forwa-

“Now that you mention it, I do look dashing.”

And there goes that dream. 

You pinch his cheeks in adoration, the vulgarity of your thoughts getting whitewashed by his silliness and blooming heart-shaped flowers in their stance. You feel your own pinch in you, wondering if this scene would be the same had you blurted your feelings out that day at the cafe.

It's times like these when you remind yourself why you choose to quieten that side. This dynamic cannot reincarnate in any other form. Any imbalance to this equilibrium could cause a serious case of best-friends-turn-awkward-acquaintances, and you don’t know if that’ll hurt you more than you currently do. You don’t plan on finding out.

But on God, he tests that resolution every single day.

Jin doesn’t even hint that he knows of the turmoil blasting behind your eyes. He nonchalantly fixes his hair, gives you a one-over as you are mentally undressing him, nonchalantly as well. Then he moves to grab his cologne, and two spurts disintegrates all the whitewashing and takes you back into the obscenities you were unfolding. 

“So I’ll just go over the shoot photos, and then we can leave! You’re cool waiting here?”

“Hmmn, yeah!” You don’t let your mouth run any longer, fearing what might slip out. 

He gives you a wide, innocent smile. “Great! See you in a bit.” Poor guy. If only he knew how debase plans you were conjuring just from the aroma of his cologne. 

It is musky, like cedar or pine, perfectly suiting him. It is the same scent you remember inhaling, face stuffed in his sweater when he was fingering you to the tenth circle of hell. As he walks away, the fragrance diminishes, save for the slightest hint of lingering. You search for the source, and find the culprit strewn across the sofa.

The outfit Jin wore for the shoot held remnants of the perfume, and when you bring the shirt close and take a long, deep whiff, you transport yourself to the land of your dreams. You relish the fever smell of his cologne, mixed with his own natural scent, deciding that this is what you wish to smell like every waking morning.

Your longing for him has crossed way beyond physical boundaries. You longed for his love, longed for his attention. Longed to be the one that brings the light to his face. From morning rays to the darkness of the night, you wanted to experience it all by his side. To be his lone star, shining bright beside the moon. 

Your hands are moving without your control, disrobing you of your thirst trap of a dress and putting on Jin’s shirt instead. One look at the mirror and you let out a silent groan - it fits you just right. Just enough to cover your ass cheeks, loose enough to let the air conditioning hit your heated pussy. While well-fitting shirts have never been the cornerstone of a successful relationship, your delusional mind takes whatever wins it gets.

Adding layers to your pipe dream, you don the robe that gave you a tough time throughout the shoot. When you press the tails of the robe to your cheek, the softness of the material is soothing. Soft, like Jin’s eyes, like his hugs, like his smile. Like him.

Leaning against the counter, you steady yourself, mind split in titillation. Your fingers find their own path, drawing circles on your breasts over his shirt, imagining Jin’s long fingers in place. While teasing your nipple to pointed peaks, you slip your other hand under your panties, trying very hard to mimic his digits, twiddling your clit between your fingers. Alas, the effect isn’t achievable, because Jin seems to know how to play you better than yourself. 

The scent is getting stronger, without any provoking, and it is doing wonders for your immersion. You let out a loud moan when your fingers press inside, and you’re just glad no one can witness this.

“Y-Y/N?”

Fuck.

You are pulled away from your dreamland that was so impenetrable that you didn’t hear Jin step into the room. All the blood gushing to your nether regions has made a U-turn to flood your brain to think of a plausible explanation for this position. Instead it makes you giddy, and when you try to stand you wobble in your heels, to be rescued by what you think is a very scandalized Jin. 

Time stands still when your eyes meet, and what you see are blown out pupils trembling, many questions fluttering between you two. Jin crosses a tenth of the distance between you, lips flutter as they try to make a decision - do they want to part and give way to the voice of question? The voice of reason? The voice that will break this hush, burst this bubble where he has the one chance to give in to his longing?

You bring your lips closer, and cause immense disquiet in his dome, the way of his heart gathering speed against rationale. Your eyes dance between matching his gaze and finding his lips, every fraction of an inch you cross sending tremors through you. You can feel the shockwaves traverse through your body, making a pitstop at your lips, tingling them awake. They move downwards, passing your heart, beating it wildly against its cage, and then to the pit of your stomach to tighten in anticipation; finally reaching the tip of your toes, where you stand right now, a nanoscopic distance between you. Each one of you is afraid to cross the bridge, unaware of the other’s desires. 

Finally, Jin acqueises and meets you on your side. 

Atomic explosions ring through your head, clearing out every single thought that is not about Jin’s lips on yours. The ropes that held your heart from beating to the tune of your want, they’ve loosened their knots to give you the leeway to love freely. As your lips exchange positions, his teeth lightly drag across your plush petal, and it brings back the most important part of that night that you couldn’t recollect - the one where his lips sang wordless songs of adoration against yours. Blind as a bat, you were.

You dig your fingers into his hair, not minding your residual arousal coating his locks, and you feel his hands doing the same to you. With your eyes closed, you feel a rough edge to his cushiony soft lips, but Jin fixes that mistake - one stray strand of hair trapped in the middle of your indulgence - he pulls it away to give you all of the kiss. The hand tucked in your tresses pushes in, silently demanding more access, and you’re nothing but ready to give it.  

His tongue sneaks in to play a game with yours - when you seek it, it goes into hiding, finding perfect pleasure in soft, sweet kisses, but when you stay, it comes back in, awakening your tongue to deepen again. Everything he is doing is too much and not enough in one go, and you whine into his mouth in desperation, seeking some well-earned relief after months of holding back.

Amidst the flurry of your lips, your back hits the vanity countertop, and Jin pushes away everything on top to make space for you, not caring what expensive item flies down the counter to accommodate your ass.

As if you’ve made up for the months of holding back, the softness of the kisses erodes, teeth coming into play more and more, reminiscent of the night that went by in a blur. He swallows every mewl you give in return, blissed out beyond repair, your neediness making his cock strain against the denim. 

His hand snakes down, spreading his fingers to get a hold of your back to push you towards him, covering any gap that dared to intervene. Now unworried about the shoot, your hands have effectively ruined his perfectly placed locks and messed them up to resemble the craze he let you spin in.

Before he can glide his tongue back in, you break the kiss, lest you lose yourself in it to the point where you forget to breathe. With attached foreheads, you take deep drags of air, letting the oxygen flow to your brain before you make some ill-advised, unclarified decisions.

“I- I was jus-”

“Shhh. Wait,” he breathes out, wanting to take a second and fully savor the moment. You nod in return, making his head move along with yours.

After sufficient air fills his lungs, Jin starts. “Y/N, we should stop.”

Last time this had happened, you had tried to force your way through his barrier, without giving his feelings a second of consideration. So this time, you don’t repeat your mistakes. “Tell me why.”

“Because, I don’t know what you’re looking for, but I’m way deeper in this than you think.”

“Jin, I-”

“Let me finish.” He stops you before you can explain how much you reflect his emotions, possibly more. He doesn’t seem to want to listen now. “Let me finish, or else I’ll chicken out, for the millionth time.”

You’re dumbfounded. Millionth time? When was the first? Acting majors, by God. 

“I love you, Y/N.”

No, now you are dumbfounded. Your hands, holding his precious locks, drop down in shock, at sheer disbelief that all this time, he has been ready and waiting to return you the favor. Jin though, misinterprets it as a look of disdain. 

“I-I know I do, and I’m sorry that I do. I know you don’t feel the same way. You can hate me all you want, but this is the truth.”

“And yes,” he continues, refusing to halt for even half a second, afraid that the courage he mustered to confess would dissipate the moment he does, “I’m attracted to you, and I don’t know what went down here --” flicking his wrist to mention your (his) outfit, “--but I’m looking, okay? And I’m hard as fuck. But that’s not all there is to it.”

“I need all of you.” He takes an audible gulp, trying to stymy his emotions from overpowering him. “I want to take you out, I want to hold you hand, I want to bring you to all the places I love. I want to introduce you to people, not as my best friend, but so much more than that. It hurts me,” bringing his hand to his chest, he emphasizes the point of pain by clutching over his heart, “hurts to call you that because I’m lying through my fucking teeth.”

You break eye contact, because there are tears smarting your eyes at his heartfelt revelation. You can’t believe the idiot that you have been all this while. The man of your dreams stands in front of you, baring his soul, and you can’t even do him the decency of telling him what you felt yourself before jumping his bones.

And you love him, too. Maybe you haven’t said so, even to yourself, but you’ve known all this while.

You love him.

“If you are just looking for a fuck, or want any sort of a ‘benefits’ situation, we should stop. I can’t lie to myself anymore.”

“Jin, my God,” you half-sigh, half-laugh, feeling a burden lift off of you after months of pining.

“You don’t have to pacify me, it’s okay, I’ll be fine.” Even in this moment, he is looking out for you. His lips are curved upward to show you that he’s okay, but his pupils are shaky and restless, not in sync with his smile. You hope your next words can fix that for him.

“Pacify you? Hate you?” You shoot him an incredulous look, one you will explain to him very soon. “You are a much better person than I am, Jinnie. For months now, I’ve loved you, but even at this point, I didn’t stop to tell you.” The guilt of letting your hormones cloud your judgement for the second time lays heavily on your conscience. “I’m sorry for not making this clear earlier, but let me now. I love you, Kim Seokjin. I have for way too long. I want you, I need you. You have me, in every possible way.”

It feels unparalleled to get that off your chest. The leaden weight of your emotions immediately disappears - or the fact that it's shared, makes it much, much lighter. But then you look at Jin, and he still seems to have not put two and two together. You patiently wait for him to process all the information. 

When he finally recoups, he yells, “What?!”

You let out a loud guffaw, the first one with no inhibitions in the longest time. “What?”

“Why didn’t you say anything that day at the cafe?!” 

“You said you’d never date me, asshole!” You punch his chest softly, before slipping your hands behind him and pulling him closer. “I might not look like it, but I have some dignity.”

“I said that?” Jin brings one hand to pinch his nose in annoyance. “What an idiot. I think I was just inverting everything to make sure I don’t accidentally slip up.”

You lift your head to meet his eyes again, letting him see the tears you were hiding. You find a couple in his eyes, too. But the smile on your face is genuine, and that is all that matters. “I was blind too, so don’t beat yourself up about it.” 

Flitting your eyes down to find the contour of his cock against his jeans, you ask him innocently, “How about we make up for lost time?”

“Fuck, yes, please.” And with that, your lips are engulfed again.

When you have all your guards down, the kiss tastes sweeter than before. Mere moments ago, while thoroughly enjoying the kiss, a sense of reticence had clouded your pleasure, holding you back from luxuriating in the headiness. A series of what-ifs had plagued your subconscious without your realization, but with all that cleared, you wholly submit to the kiss, emptying your mind until nothing but his name remains.

“Fuck, Y/N,” Jin gasps out, when you bite into his pillowy lower lip, “I thought you looked the prettiest in the dress earlier but,” after pulling away, he drinks your current attire in, “you look the most beautiful in this.”

You snicker. “Even more than World Wide Handsome?”

His eyes bore into yours, no hint of the joking lilt he always carries in them. 

“So much more.”

Your hands find their place amidst his shaggy hair again, and you lodge his face into your neck - a command Jin acquiesces to with great pleasure. After a long, wet lick to your collarbone, he lays feather-soft kisses on the trail he left, starting from your shoulder and working inward, until he brushes against the back of your ear. You grasp at his sweater, because his lips feel so good. Your breaths are short, sucking in every time he allows your skin the luxury of a soft peck.  Once he lays a kiss on your forehead, he brings his gaze down to one of the main reasons that causes his cock to stir.

“Fuck, look at your nipples under my shirt.”

Gazing down, you can see the two pointed peaks that caught Jin’s eyes. 

“That tends to happen when I’m thinking of you.” 

He twists a nipple over the shirt, hardening it further, and you throw your head back in the satisfying pain. “Yeah, I remember.”

You are unraveling every second, the ache swishing amongst the bliss his fingers are bringing in you. He’s switched over to drawing circles around your nipple, until he snaps and tugs your shirt up, finally revealing the palmfulls of flesh awaiting his hands. 

“Ah that night, I didn’t get to do this. Take this off.” But then, he makes you put on his robe again. You throw him a questioning look, to which he responds with a sheepish smile, “Just so, you know… you don’t feel cold… or something.”

“Just say you like me in your clothes and move on.”

“I love you in my clothes,” he admits in a heartbeat, his expression that of anguish, “can we move on?”

“God, gladly.”

Unexpectedly, he bites the side of your boob - not hard at all, but feeling his teeth against your skin sends your head reeling backward. Your involuntary response is to wrap your legs around his waist, grinding your core against him. His teeth continue to nip you lightly across the expanse of your breasts, the trail of saliva he leaves cooling parts of your flushed body. Finally, finally, he latches onto your left nipple and gives it a long, pleasurable suck.

“Ahh, Jin - you’re too - God damn it - you’re too good at this.” 

Without stopping the onslaught he is unleashing on your breasts, his fingers begin to move - but soon, they stop, hesitation rippling off of their tips. His pace falters, and his mind is fighting on the next course of action.

“Can I-”

“Finish what you started that night?” you complete for him, already prepared with your answer. “Yes, please.”

All forms of uncertainty shoot out of his touch, and he confidently trudges forward. Playing with the band of your panties, he gives you a well-intended chuckle, murmuring, “As far as I remember, I was so good you passed out.”

“Boy,” You groan, intended in jest, but his teeth slide against your jaw and it mostly comes out more wanton than jovial, “let me see you have tequila for dinner and remember much the next day.”

“Fair fair,” he gives in, shifting to buss the valley of your cleavage, feeling your heart thud against your ribs holding it in place. “Well today,” he starts without moving his face, his nimble fingers moving past the barrier of your underwear, pressing two fingertips directly on your clit, and hissing like it's him at the receiving end, “I’ll give you enough to remember.”

You pull his sweater off and chuck it away, not wanting to be reminded of any blockades that kept you apart, and your hands roam the expanse of his back remembering the touch of his skin from the night at the bar. His body isn’t new to you, but the circumstances make it feel different. 

Finally, his fingers find their way inside you. 

Yes, this. This was what was missing from your drunken tryst. With your heads in place, your ardor intensifies, and you move his lips back to yours needing to release your animalistic desire into his mouth. Pleasure surges through both of you as you threaten to swallow him whole.

You can feel him being more present, and considering the merciless finger-fucking you had earned that night, this is taking it to a whole other degree. 

The night at the bar, his fingers did their best to ravish you, but now, Jin is paying attention, close attention to the way you respond. Every muscle movement is recorded in him as you struggle to accommodate three of his lengthy digits. Leaning close, he gives your peaked nipple the lightest feather lick - the suddenness sends shockwaves through you as he continues to tweeze the other, talented pianist hands performing his musical piece on both ends of you.

His fingers pump into you with determination, finding new depths to explore that he missed out on, and with a curl of his pointer, you blank out, screaming in the orgasm that is washing over you. Every skincell of your body feels the quiver of lust spreading, your cunt squeezing for an eternity, milking the orgasm out to the extent that you can. 

When you look down, your metaphorical orgasmic flood manifestes as a deluge of your arousal leaking on the table. And when you look back up, you can see the salacious ideas making their rounds in Jin’s head as he looks at the inundation you released. 

Hurried hands still convulsing from the intensity of your orgasm, you undo his belt, followed by his jeans and finally - getting the pleasure you were heartlessly denied of - his cock is out, in all its glory, twitching as the cool air hits its naked skin. Jin’s plans don’t go hand in hand with yours though.

“Are we just - holy fucking shit - just, umm, leave that to waste?” he lustfully looks down to your leaking core, and someway, through your hold on his dick, he tries to steer you into his plans.

“I don’t know about that,” you cheekily reply. You have the right idea to satisfy both of you, and get down to the task.

With the flat of your palm, you swipe across the droplets of cum you released, gathering them to transfer them onto his thick length. Jin thrusts into your hand, the wetness jolting him into attention, and he places an arm on your shoulder to steady himself. 

“You’re going to taste yourself?” he asks as you continue your vacillating motion, twisting at the base of his head with the wetness you graciously provided yourself. You give him a nonchalant look, something he is trying to do to you as well. 

“Who said I’m gonna suck you off?”

His look changes, and the one you get in return is cocky, arrogant, downright rude if you were honest. You expected him to play on with your banter, but one raised eyebrow and the lazy smirk he gives, to what he probably thinks is a joke - Zeus could land on earth and not be able to stop you from gobbling his meat. 

Your mouth is filled with his dick even before your knees hit the ground. Jin staggers back, but your suction on his dick is funnily strong enough to pull him back before falling.  You switch positions, having him balance himself against the counter, all while you refuse to leave his cock out. His giggle of endearment has you pouting, but it swells your heart and makes you want to give more, more of anything and everything. With your renewed vigor, you push yourself in until his pubes tickle your nose, and his tip tickles your throat. 

“Your-”, “I-”, “uhh-” 

Every new sentence Jin starts crumbles to your actions. You furrow your brows both in concentration on your blowing skills and trying to decode what he is trying to say. 

Jin takes a large gulp, adamant on making this one a coherent sentence. “You know, I used to imagine this, and in my dreams I used to be very sexy and suave, talking my way throug-oof-” You run your tongue over the tip of his leaking dick, emphasizing the point he is coming to, “Now I can’t even complete sentences here.”

“You being you is super sexy in itself.” And you curve your tongue to match the arch of his cock, letting the incoming saliva pool on it before letting it run down his shaft, dripping down from his balls. Strings of his precum connect to your lips, and you swipe your tongue through them, relishing the salty goodness before going back in for more. 

“Y/N, shit, did you just moan?”

How couldn’t you? The fact that he is horny for you, so much so that rivulets of precum don’t stop drizzling down your throat, has you preening. You hum your assent in response, not willing to let go even for a moment, but Jin pulls you off before you can get a chokehold on the base of his cock again. 

“Never had a woman moan while sucking me off. It’s sexy as fuck,” Jin breathes into your lips as he dives in for a kiss.

Your chest is heaving, catching the breaths you lost when you were down. “Then why’d you stop me?”

“Are you kidding me? I was about to lose it right there.”

“Jinnie, come on,” you break the fragmentary kiss you were sharing, looking into his glassy eyes, “let me feel you come on my tongue.” To emphasize your conviction, you lick his lips, persuading him of the sinful deeds your tongue is capable of doing if he’d just let you.

“Oh man, stop. What’s worse than busting a nut in your mouth? Busting it while you’re kissing me. Making me feel like a teenager.” You erupt into a loud laugh, soon followed by Jin as well. It is so him to joke about this. 

“And babe,” all hints of embarrassment vanishing from his tone, “I’m only going to come inside you.”

“Fuck, fuck, yes. You got a condom on you?”

“Yeah, let me grab my wallet.” The instant he moves away, you feel naked, shivering from the comfort stolen away from you. But then you hear Jin grumble, “I hope I don’t have the bacon-flavored one.” And the absurdity of it all puts you at ease again.

“Ew, stop, even you can’t make that sexy. My lady boner is dying.”

He envelops you again, and you can feel the laughter echoing in his lungs before making it out to your ears. He brings your attention to the familiar rustle of foil wrapper. “Thankfully, we got chocolate.”

“Mmmh, gotta love chocolate.”

You take the condom out of his hands, and roll it onto his stiff length, flattered that he’s holding his erection for so long. 

“Okay, stick it in me!” And you smack your ass in readiness, and a very flabbergasted Jin breaks out chortling.

“Y/N, stop being my best friend for like, five minutes!” His brows are furrowed in pretense exasperation, but you can see his lips holding back a genuine smile through the grimace, just happy that your dynamics haven’t changed the slightest, even though everything else has shifted.

“Okay okay,” you try and suppress your own laughter, before continuing, “how do you want me, baby?”

“Bend over on the vanity. And keep your eyes on the mirror.” And as you move into position, his palms grab your ass and squeeze it hard, feeling your glutes push back against his grip, and he pushes you forward till you're on the tips of your toes. You watch him through the mirror, watch him admire the way your ass curves over the table edge, how your toes struggle to keep you up, and how the dimples of your back are deepened by the arch, peeking under the bunched up robe tails, just waiting for him.

“Jin.” Your hushed whisper puts him in action.

Pushing the head in is anguish and relief at the same time. His bulbous head stretches your entrance; even with your preparation, you feel it sting. The searing gets better and better with every inch slipping in, and when he finally lodges inside, you let out a heavy breath, still panting and keeping yourself from screaming bloody murder in pleasure. Jin bends forward to paint the back of your neck, sucking the flesh till the circular bruise comes to surface. 

“Can you- can you-fuck, no, wait-” Your brain is at war with itself, battling between adjusting to his girth and having him pump you into adjustment. 

You can feel Jin’s snicker from behind you, and he finally makes the decision for you. “I’ll wait, I have things to do here,” he says before playing around the patch of skin, spreading from the base of your hair to the expanse of your back, his teasing licks relaxing your walls and accommodating his girth. The pain is almost gone, expect for the lingering ache that only helps you.

“You can move now, babe.”

“Okay, okay.” Your words snap him out of the painter’s dream he was in, and he twitches inside you. Something about the ease at which you both have adopted nicknames for each other softens his heart and hardens his cock. 

Pulling out till only the head rests inside, Jin himself struggles against the third degree grip your pussy has on him. As he is thrusting inside again, your walls tense up, making it harder and harder for him to hold back. 

“Y/N, sweetie, relax. I got you.”

“Jin, I’m-” You have tears running down your eyes, the pleasure and unsurmountable happiness rolling out in fat hot drops. “Fuck me harder. I won’t last.”

“Shit. Okay, hold on then.”

To what? Is what you’re going to ask before Jin unleashes his carnality onto you. Your breasts, dripping in sweat and saliva, are plastered to the countertop, which in itself is jiggling to the beat of Jin’s thrusts. His dick is curving inside to hit you repeatedly, and you have to gather the satin fabric to wipe your eyes to keep your gaze fixed on him. 

He looks majestic. Forehead embellished with beads of sweat, his hair coiffed up, lips sanguine red after your vicious kisses - you swipe your tongue along your own lips to find them battered in response. His honey chest is heaving with every push, and a particular one hits you just right. 

You let out a guttural groan, and Jin takes note of it immediately. 

“Up,” he commands, and loops an arm under your belly to you pull you up and closer and now every thrust hits deeper into that spot he has found in you, your back connected to his chest as the two of you move in tandem; this is the most together you’ve ever felt with anyone. This moment is to be etched in your memories forever.

You scream into your fist to muffle the sounds, the edge of the table digging into your hip bone as you feel yourself getting closer to the brink. One swipe to the clit is all you have left to bring you to your release. 

And from some telepathic force, or from the clutch your pussy has on him, Jin beats you to it. His fingers come down and carefully find your swollen nub, pinching it between his fingers. If he thought you’d shown him your hardest clench, he was wrong, because right now your dam has broken, and the iron-clad grip you give his cock sends him reeling, too.

You are gushing on his dick, the rubber dripping with your wetness. Jin too releases into the condom in stuttered gasps, his thrusts becoming shorter and shallower as he comes down from his high. 

Petal-like kisses fall on your back as the two of you regain your breaths. The mirror that served you two well is covered in a fog of hot breath and perspiration, blearing your vision of yourself, but somehow, it sparkles with Jin’s reflection. His nobility-esque visuals use the haze as a valance for his appearance, framing them to make him look like you’re among the clouds. And in some way, you actually are.

“Ah, let me go.” You jiggle your shoulders back to make the man above you move. “Fuck, can you check if my spine is in place? I think you dislodged it.”

“Shut up and come hug me, I’ll squeeze it back in place.”

Now this is something you could get used to.

As he ties and throws away the used condom, you flip over to face him and fall back into his embrace, broad shoulders promising to protect you, making you feel safe in his care. Jin on the other hand is simply ecstatic to feel you on him, feeling your thumping heart beat for him, after months of pining and pondering whether anything would become of the seed of your tumultuous friendship. Now, it has blossomed to a garden of prospect and promise, every petal of every flower here reading a new opportunity to tell you how much he adores you, cherishes you, treasures you. How much he loves you.  An opportunity he doesn’t wait to use. 

“I love you.”

The pink tinge of your cheeks either comes from the sex, or from his comment, but either way, he is glad its from him. 

“I love you too, Jin. So, so very much.”

If your heart could leap out of your chest, it would do so, to find its way to his and fuse into one. But for now, your entwined bodies give you all you want. 

You hear Jin stifle a laugh, and pull back in question. He points to something odd on the countertop.

“What is that?”

The cream white surface of the table, that was maligned by your ignoble deeds, now sports two glistening, wheatish semi circles that look very similar to the sizes of one person who was splayed on top of it just moments ago. 

“Is that…” Jin is trying to contort his lips and halt the looming snicker, and he brings his eyes down to your chest (trying not to get hard again), “Did you have makeup on your chest?”

“Shut up.” All you can do is fall closer into his arms, hopefully masking the tint of embarrassment highlighting the apples of your cheeks. “I wanted to make them look extra good for you.”

He’s given up on holding back, the full-bellied laugh that resonated from him echoing across the room. But it dwindles down fast, coming to small chuckles of tenderness, and he slips his digits beneath your chin to have you meet his gaze.

“They always look good,” he whispers, his admittance setting your chest aflame, “trust me, I’d know.”

Taglist 💛:  @little7bitchh​, @afangirllikeme-blog​, @h34rt1lly, @marpotterhead​

Thank you so much for making it to the end! I hope you enjoyed the fic, my ask box is always open for your lovely opinions. To read more of my work, find my main masterlist here. :)

[softboyluvr]

just friends

cedric diggory x female!reader

warnings: angst (ish???), intentional lower caps, that’s all tbh

very few could say they knew someone for forever, someone that knew their weaknesses and helped turn them into strengths. though they, they were the lucky ones. or unlucky ones, depending on who you asked. cedric and her had been inseparable the moment their parents introduced them when they were children.

from then on she always had someone to pick her up when she fell off the swings, a shoulder to cry on and someone who listened unconditionally when it seemed like the voices drowned her. she was lucky to have him.

she brought out the best in him. everyone expected him to be everything all the time, but with her he could be vulnerable. he felt like he could breathe when she was near. he had to see her fall in love with some of the guys in the castle, and then be there for her when it all fell through. he was just never that lucky to have her. at least not completely, she had the best of his moments. when in fourth year his friends teased him for never having had his first kiss she was the one to pull him in by his jersey after winning the first game of the quidditch season, the light drizzle sticking to their hair and making the whole thing seem like a dream to him. she had his first dance at their first ever ball. and most of all she had his heart hanging off a thread on her pinky finger, yet he was never lucky enough to have her completely.

he was resigned actually, no longer eager for the next time she came running to his arms after she realized the last guy wasn’t what she wanted, much less deserved. an eagerness that he knew was wrong and completely selfish but he couldn’t seem to deny. he liked being the guy that lit her those vanilla candles she loved so much and held her through the night.

he didn’t know what deity he had to thank for putting them together in every single class for the past six years. but there he was, letting her draw some sort of happy face kaleidoscope on his hand as he just looked at her with some stupid grin he could never wipe off when they were together. looking at how the tip of her tongue stuck out in concentration and then down to the crystal hanging around her neck. remembering how one saturday she just dragged him to the lake to look for crystals. one of the last days of the summer, the morning sun keeping them warm but not sticky with sweat. the wildflowers around them made the air sweet and the soft swishing of the water in the river filled up their comfortable silence making everything perfect. if he were asked what he thought heaven was like he would think that’s the closest it could ever get. or maybe it was all perfect because he was with her.

he wasn’t surprised when she had to bring him back from his daze and put him to work on the potion slughorn had just spent the last 10 minutes explaining. he was eager to finish brewing the concoction, amortentia was one of their biggest projects of the year. but that was not what motivated him to finish it, neither was it finding out what he was going to smell. he knew exactly what his heart desired, and was not surprised when he smelled vanilla, soft rain and wildflowers. his eagerness was to discover what she was going to describe the potion to smell like. he hoped her heart’s deepest desires pointed towards him like a compass pointing north. he was about to ask when hermione granger, somehow managing to take classes above her level, turned around and asked herself.

he pretended to write some notes on his notebook when he was really waiting for anything that would hint at her fancying him the way he wished she would.

“we must’ve fucked it up because it smells like nothing” and she snorted like it was the funniest thing ever. their conversation carried but he was no longer interested on any sort of gossip the griffindoor carried. he knew the potion had worked, so either she was sick and her nose was all messed up or just didn’t fancy anyone at all. she could’ve also been lying, was it for his sake? did she just not want to share any more fragments of her love life with him and she decided to lie about this to keep some secrecy? was it someone he knew? was it one of their friends? had he introduced her to them?

class ended and the day flew by, whenever she asked about his change in demeanor he brushed her off with a smile and assured her it was all fine, “just tired ‘s all”

he wanted to go down to his room and read, alone, as soon as the school day was over. but he had promised to go with her to this tree they always hung out in when the day was nice. she was talking about things she had noticed throughout the day and when he zoned back into the conversation their tree was closer than he realized and she was talking about potions class.

“i swear i was keeping an eye out for you. i was worried you were sick because someone had slipped some amortentia on your water or something. i mean im surprised no one did” and she sat down leaning on the trunk of the tree. “anyways you never did tell me what it was your heart’s deepest desires were. or who is it that that is for that matter” she was taking some colored pencils out and it seemed like the whole thing was humorous to her. but the question had struck him, she was lying back in class.

she had taken his silence as a cue to keep her chatter going. not paying any mind to how he still hadn’t sat down. “i heard someone say how when slughorn showed the class below us the potion just as a heads up for next year cho chang said she swore she smelled you. i didnt know you guys were that close” and she wiggled her eyebrows at him while taking out some sketch book from her bag. she was really trying to joke with him right now. “she’s really pretty-“

but he cut her off. “why would you lie?”

“i swear! hermione told me all about it after i ran onto her in the bathroom before potions class started. i mean you have been tutoring her for a while now so i don’t know how you didn’t see it coming”

he was silent for a second and she grew uncomfortable of his gaze just lingering. standing up as he started again.

“we didn’t fuck up the bloody potion. but you told granger we did, why did you lie?”

she looked at him for a couple seconds and then laughed. “come on ced, slughorn said the thing was perfect. don’t worry about the grade”

“this is not about a mark and you know it” his tone was so serious it was bordering into stern. it was like his patience was growing thin but she didn’t know what to say, so she just shrugged and looked away.

“didn’t feel like talking about it then”

“we can talk about it now”

“it looks like there’s rain clouds coming”

“what are you trying to avoid?”

she just went to pick up her book, stuffing her things back into her bag. she started the walk back to the castle making him scoff and follow her lead.

“why don’t you want to talk to me?” to her he still sounded defensive. but he was trying his best to mask his vulnerability.

“i do want to talk to you ced. just not about it right now”

“was it someone i know? was it fred? i heard he’s with angelina so that’s a dead end you know”

“cedric just drop it”

“so it was him then”

she groaned and turned to look at him, breaking her stride. her face was burning with what he saw as anger.

“why does it matter so badly to you cedric?”

the thunder quickly ate up the good weather they still had and the air turned chilly. how fitting.

“it just does and i want to know”

“it really doesn’t matter to me and it shouldn’t to you either” she was upset about it, maybe her feelings for fred were far deeper than he could guess. he was aware of their friendship, but he never knew how close they had grown to be. maybe him being a tutor pushed her to finding someone new, some new more interesting friend. “i really don’t get why you’re blowing this to be such a big deal when cho-“

“it is a big deal to me” he chuckled and he saw the drizzle before he could feel it. “it’s a big deal to me when all i could smell on the thing was wildflowers and fresh rain” he let a breath out, his voice lowering back to its usual tone. no longer exasperated but tired. “fresh rain and vanilla”

she just stood there. quiet. looking at him. a couple steps and he had broken the distance between them. placing his hands on her shoulders and running them down to her hands.

“so please, just please tell me what it was for you”

“lilacs” she looked up at him and met his gaze. the flowers his mother had planted around the swing sets were lilacs, the flowers she tucked on his suit pocket on their first dance were lilacs. but he still couldn’t let his heart jump to conclusions. she took in the silence and looked forward, staring at his chest rather than looking at him in the eyes. the blow was coming. “warm sheets and fresh rain”

she smiled at the irony of the drizzle that covered her hair at the moment and dared to peek at him from under her lashes. he was puzzled by the last one. she kept looking down at his hands holding hers.

“that was my first kiss too you know, you never really asked and i guess i never told you. but i knew you were tired of everyone teasing you for it so i guessed you wouldn’t mind as long as you got it over with” she was rambling and he smiled. the rain coating her lashes reminded him of the first time, he let go of her hand and took her chin between his pointer and thumb. tilting her head up to look at him, moving his hand to run through her hair and finally cupping her face. running his thumb over her cheek. it was like he was getting a do over, and he wanted to take his time this time around. she looked into his eyes and then glanced down to his lips. he didn’t waste more time before his other hand flew to the free side of her face and his lips were on hers. her hands on his shoulders pulling him impossibly closer to her.

he cursed his lungs for preventing him from staying there, causing him to pull away slightly. she opened her eyes to see him looking at her already. he took in how the water droplets stuck to her hair and the smile that danced on her face.

her eyebrows shot up a little “took you long enough” her teasing smile made him let out a loud laugh.

he hummed and nodded. feigning seriousness “maybe” he looked at her with a teasing smile of his own. “but not nearly as long as it took you, now did it”

her eyebrows shot up and she let out a surprised laugh. he admired her for a second more before he leaned down to kiss her again. missing how she quickly ducked and escaped his grasp. starting to sprint through the grass towards the castle. he chased behind her as they both laughed at the water splashing around their feet and starting to soak them up slowly. she looked back at him and playfully screamed, booking it through the courtyard and slipping past the few people that were still out enjoying the soft rain.

their friends quickly spotted the pair, not surprised by their behavior but intrigued as to what had caused the giant to chase after her through the rain. watching as he was catching up to her when she had almost reached the group, which was seated waiting for them next to one of the arches surrounding the courtyard. staying safe from the rain under the roof. they all playfully looked at her catching her breath, not amused at all by their games when he reached her. hair sticking to his forehead and robes drenched just like hers. she yelped as he picked her up and spun her around, their friends getting ready to listen to whatever story was behind their chase.

the story telling itself when he set her down softly and pulled her in for a quick kiss. their bubble of happiness not popping but encasing all of their friends as well. no questions were needed, the happiness just flowed and bubbled.

he swung his arm over her shoulders. pulling her into his chest as she started the conversation back up. everything had fallen into place for him, and now he could light up candles and tuck her into bed not because she had another unlucky shot at love. but because he was finally lucky enough.

[drowningbydegrees]

As it turns out, falling into bed with your very best friend who you are privately very much in love with isn't nearly so nerve wracking as waking up with them the morning after.

Read on AO3

He can’t remember the last time waking up was a remotely soothing experience. Geralt’s sleep muzzy mind has no other word for the body plastered against his front from shoulder to hip, the steady heartbeat against his palm where his hand is splayed out across someone’s chest. His nose is tucked against the nape of someone’s neck, and the scent is far too familiar to be jarring.

“Jaskier,” he rumbles quietly, his mouth miles ahead of the rest of him. The quiet, absent pleasure of waking up tangled with someone who smells sleepy and content and like they’re his leaves no room for reason. There’s no room for anything really, except to press a kiss to whatever patch of skin he can find, savoring the soft sigh it earns him.

Jaskier is… The night before rushes back to him, and Geralt almost jerks away, even though it would be entirely pointless to bother with that now. He cracks an eye open and is met with the disaster that Jaskier’s hair, mussed in the night by sleep, and by Geralt’s fingers buried in it before that. Even as worry begins to creep in, he sort of wants to do it again.

This isn’t the first time they’ve shared a bed. This probably isn’t even the hundredth time they’ve shared a bed. This is most definitely the first time they’ve done so with so little clothing between them, none to be exact. There’s only the blanket tucked around them both, warm and lovely and unexpectedly distressing.

Geralt isn’t sorry, per se. Jaskier’s chest rises and falls under Geralt’s palm in the slow rhythm of sleep. It’s the loveliest thing Geralt can remember waking up to, and therein lies the problem. An emotion fed only grows, and this unruly, sprawling affection is the worst offender. Stupidly, Geralt had thought getting this out of his system would quell it, but the longing reaches a fever pitch instead.

Jaskier is beautiful, all the more so for the way he shifts in his sleep, closing the gap Geralt has tried to put between them. Geralt could happily wake like this every day for the rest of his life, but it isn’t a fair thing to ask of someone who flits from one love to the next like a butterfly between flowers. He will not trap Jaskier in this just because he happens to be besotted. Somehow, the resolve not to try to keep this does nothing to ease the guilt welling up that he wants to in the first place.

Nothing Jaskier said the night before conveyed meaning beyond a playful desire to tumble into bed together. Moving the target now would only be cruel. He should be rolling out of bed, hastening them back to normal. He should be proving that this has done nothing to harm their friendship. It isn’t Jaskier’s fault, after all, the way Geralt wants to breathe him in and kiss him senseless and forget the rest of the world until the innkeeper boots them out.

“Geralt?” Jaskier startles the witcher from his worries, wriggling impossibly closer and laying a palm over his knuckles. “You okay?”

“Thinking,” Geralt replies vaguely.

“Well, don’t hurt yourself,” Jaskier teases, still warm and lethargic with sleep. Geralt almost manages to take advantage of the levity of the moment and extricate himself, but before he can, Jaskier rolls over so they’re nearly nose to nose. His fingers cradle Geralt’s cheek and any attempt to escape now would just be graceless. “What about?”

Geralt doesn’t know how to answer, so he only hums noncommittally and hopes Jaskier will let it lie. Of course, Jaskier being Jaskier, does no such thing. He takes advantage of the change in positions to tangle his legs up with Geralt. “I can’t tell you to knock it off if you don’t tell me what it is.”

“We should get going.” Geralt tries once more to escape, frowning when Jaskier shows no sign of releasing him. It’s silly of course. Jaskier couldn’t hope to hold him here if Geralt was set on leaving. He just can’t actually make himself do it.

“Was it that bad a night?” It’s an easy opening, an invitation to stray back to their usual banter, but Geralt gets no further than a raised eyebrow before Jaskier is clasping a hand over the witcher’s mouth. “Wait. Don’t answer that or I might have to smother you with a pillow and that’ll just be unfortunate for both of us.”

Right there, with Jaskier smiling at him, Geralt can almost believe they’re going to survive this. Almost, but almost still leaves a distance he cannot cross. As soon as Jaskier pulls his hand back from Geralt’s mouth, the witcher opens it. “They’re not going to let us sleep in forever.”

“They might if I convince them to let me play again this evening. We could move on tomorrow,” Jaskier ventures, but something in Geralt’s face must give him pause. “Oh do not look at me like that. The world isn’t going to end just because you stop to take a breath once in a while, Geralt.”

“That’s not…” Geralt starts, but he doesn’t know how to finish. There are no words that convey the razor wire sensation of facing down the impermanence of Jaskier’s affections, of realizing how deeply his own feelings run far too late.

“Shh.” Geralt knew what to do with impulse, with Jaskier’s mouth crashing into his, with Jaskier’s hands scrabbling at him to shed his clothes. He doesn’t know what to do with the tender, intentional way Jaskier regards him this morning, lips pressing to the witcher’s brow and lingering afterwards. Does it mean something, or does Jaskier grant all his lovers this subdued, aimless devotion? Lust was so much simpler than this aching sort of affection that puts down roots even as Geralt tries to burn it away.

Geralt doesn’t precisely surrender, but he resigns himself to the lazy attention Jaskier is so determined to lavish on him. If he lets Jaskier turn him away later instead of now, there will be at least this one pleasant thing to remember. So he doesn’t complain at Jaskier’s fingers combing through his hair, or the bard’s body pressed warmly to his. If every touch feels like a harbinger of their demise, it’s still hard to let go of.

He almost passes things off as okay, he thinks, until Jaskier kisses him. It’s a brief thing, immediately withdrawn. “Geralt?”

If realizing the hopeless situation he’s stumbled into was uncomfortable, the idea of talking about it is nothing short of torture.

“Well, you haven’t shoved me out of bed yet, so you’re not mad. Talk to me,” Jaskier coaxes, his expression so openly concerned and affectionate, Geralt could scream.

“It’s no-” Geralt starts, but Jaskier shut him up with a theatrically sour look.

“I swear if you say nothing,” Jaskier threatens aimlessly, an easy smile on his lips, but underneath, Geralt can hear the way his anxious heart threatens to vibrate right out of his chest.

“I don’t know what this is,” Geralt admits because that, at least, is safe. It’s nothing about how he feels in relation to anything. It’s nothing about the want that simmers under the surface despite his guilt.

Jaskier’s brows scrunch in a way that would be endearing if the entire ordeal didn’t feel so fraught already. “I don’t think I follow. I mean, I know having a conversation isn’t your usual wheelhouse, but it’s not exactly a foreign concept.”

“Not. That.” Geralt bites the words out, tight and clipped while he gathers his frayed nerves enough to explain. “You’re not in the habit of keeping people. I don’t know what you want.”

For just a second, Jaskier looks like he’s been struck and Geralt wants desperately to take the whole thing back. But the bard’s expression smooths out and then twists up in a wry smile. “Of course I don’t. What would I even do? Drag someone else along on our travels?”

There’s a point Jaskier is making. It’s right there. He knows it is, but it eludes Geralt anyway. “You could have stayed somewhere if there was someone you wanted to stick around for.”

Jaskier laughs, just a giggle at first, and then so hard that even his efforts to bury his face against Geralt’s shoulder do nothing to stifle it. “You are absolutely right. I could fall completely and utterly in love with someone and choose to stick around.”

“I don’t see how that’s funny,” Geralt says flatly, staring at the far wall of their room. The urge to curl around Jaskier and forget the whole stupid conversation in strong, and maybe he’d have been better off doing that in the first place, but he doesn’t surrender to it.

“Well, you’re one of the smartest people I know, so these moments where you decide to be an absolute idiot happen to be hilarious,” Jaskier teases. The bard must take pity, because his palm slides to cradle Geralt’s jaw, and Jaskier puts himself right at eye level where the witcher can’t look away. “Don’t you realize? I fell in love with someone, and I chose to stick around. It happened ages ago.”

Geralt has long since given up on trying to anticipate what Jaskier will say to any given prompt, but that is… somehow not even on the same continent as anything he might have expected. “What?”

“You really are determined to make this as difficult and stressful for me as possible, aren’t you?” Jaskier asks. There’s a tightness around his eyes when he looks at Geralt, leaving the witcher with the awful realization that Jaskier must be flying as blind as he is. He’s probably as unsure of Geralt’s intent as Geralt is of his. And yet… “I chose you, you ridiculous man. I always choose you.”

That… that explains a lot, actually. Geralt swallows thickly as Jaskier’s nose bumps against his. “Why didn’t you ever say?”

“Ah yes. ‘Hello my very dear emotionally… hampered witcher who will sometimes, on a very good day, admit that we are friends. Would it it complicate things overly much if I also happened to be completely, utterly in love with you?’” Jaskier huffs out a helpless, almost panicky sort of laugh. “Tell me Geralt, is there any time in the last few years where that would have gone well?”

Years? Now, confronted with the full force of it, Geralt isn’t sure how he even missed it last night, let alone for so long. Now that he knows it’s always been a bit painfully obvious. And much as he’d like to, he can’t really argue against Jaskier’s point that it probably wouldn’t have gone well to say so. “What changed?”

Jaskier sighs in that dramatic, overdone way he tends to when he’s being asked what he thinks is an exceedingly silly question. “You did.”

“Hmm.” Geralt doesn’t comment and Jaskier doesn’t press for further conversation. It’s peaceful, this thing blossoming between them, now that his most immediate concerns have been silenced.

That Jaskier laid his heart on the line and asked for nothing back isn’t lost on Geralt though. The words catch and stick on his throat, so Geralt writes them into the tender way he traces the curve of Jaskier’s spine with his fingertips. He presses them against Jaskier’s lips, jaw, throat with lazy, lingering kisses.

“So tell me-” Jaskier starts, the words interrupted by a soft sigh as Geralt’s thumb skims the divot of his hip. It’s an unmistakably promising sound all by itself, even ignoring that delightful way Jaskier presses into the touch. He finishes his thought, but it’s unmistakably breathless. “What are you thinking now?”

The recognition that this isn’t some fluke settles warmly around him. This could be always. There are so few things a witcher really keeps, but for now he’s willing to entertain the notion that this might be one of them.

“I’m thinking…” Geralt mumbles against the side of Jaskier’s neck, delighting in the way the bard’s fingers tangle in his hair and tug. “That maybe we’ll leave tomorrow.”

[bonnymori]

𝐒𝐡𝐢𝐤𝐢𝐠𝐚𝐦𝐢 𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠

Word count: 1200+

Contents/Warnings: (1) Fushiguro Megumi x gn!Reader (2) Classic training but no fighting scene I apologise (3) A... dirty humor joke? (4) Idiot in love cough cough (5) Laidback romance, this may become a pattern on my fanfiction :3

A/N: Hello, I introduce myself as Hara! This is my very first written piece! I would like to apologise for any typos, english is not my first language; that being said, I hope this works out alright! :)

It's around mid afternoon, the sky painted in a vibrant blue with multiple clouds scattered around, Fushiguro recalls having started training right after lunch; he politely declined Maki's suggestion of training together, it wasn't about strength or fighting hand to hand today, the struggle was his shikigami. Lately, he's been having problems over teamwork - before, he thought such a thing was impossible, since all of the shikigami were under one will alone, being his. Yet the amount of times the divine dogs have bumped into eachothers, sometimes Nue would simply skip past the target, not paying attention to it at all.

Or perhaps, he himself was to blame. Fushiguro likes thinking about you, more than he'd admit, but now it's starting to distract for real. That's what he need, to think of you- I mean, concentration! And maybe, new group attacks, that would do nicely, too.

He's been beating a tedious dummy for a hour and half now, maybe more. After managing to make up a combo or two, he sits down on the grass, just to breathe for a moment. Breathing is nice, he observes as the divine dogs go slack like their owner, now playing around with one another rather than chewing the dummies stuffing. His black and white snake is watching the banter between the canine shikigamis, tongue coming in and out just like a real snake. Nue settles upon the dummies ragged body, eyes closed- peacefully enjoying sunbathing. Fushiguro had no idea they were so lively until now, now he knew why people constantly asked if they could pet his shikigami.

He glances down at the frog supporting his arm, it's like they enjoy just laying on grass, just breathing like him.

"How many buddies out! Are you training today, Fushiguro?"

At the sound of your voice, you bet his lips casually turn upwars in a casual yet small smile. Kugisaki saw it from distance once, says she it's almost a robotic response.

"Yes, I'm training their cooperation." Fushiguro replies, swiftly getting up. He notices the frog from earlier making a beeline to you, as if to say hello.

So you crouch down and pets it briefly, smiling at the small creature.

"That ought to be hard, specially with a innefective dummy." You approach its remains, chuckling at all the stuffing and cloth scattered around. "Make me your target instead!"

Say what?

"I uh, come again?"

"I'll do the running and dodging, it's much practical this way!"

He has trouble accepting that, even if it's true. You mean more than an ally on his heart, and besides, that's some Itadori-level-recklessy. So he groans, slightly irritated and obviously, worried for your safety. "You'll get hurt."

"Don't we get hurt everyday? Even if there is an accident, I know you'll call them out and help me quickly, you notice things fast."

He does, Fushiguro would help you in a heartbeat- probably faster.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, lash out on me!"

Putting 'lash' and 'me' in the same phrase got heat rising on his ears, but he complied nonetheless. "Just letting you know, I'll stand here and the shikigami attacks."

You protest. "Wouldn't it be better if you fought among them?"

"For today, I'd like to focus on their compatibility only."

"Oh, got it! Next time we can work on the latter option then!" Next time. He wants there to be a next time.

Even though you're the one troubling his mind in battles, he's head over heels. He remembers when it all started, your relationship is basically pools worth of quality time. You came along with Itadori, tangled into the mess back in Sendai. Strangely, Fushiguro clicked with you even faster than Itadori- your collected personality was a great factor, even though you are just as cheerful as the cherry boy.

"You're spacing out, what's up?"

Fushiguro's gaze snapped up to meet yours, realizing his mistake. "Ah, nothing, let's start." His hands folded as your guard rose, so it begun. If you noticed his lame excuse, you didn't comment about it.

The ravenette was pleasantly relieved how easily you could deceive and dodge his attacks, his shikigami may leave a tear or two on your clothes, that he didn't have to worry about, because they're easily fixable. Naturally, the toughest for you to dodge was mostly his snake, sometimes Nue would surprise you from above, nothing you couldn't handle. He started intensing up using the combined attacks, and immediately noticed your faltering steps, earning a bruise on your calf. Although neither he or you stopped, adrenaline rushing through veins nonstop.

You somehow finished training with a bite mark over your forehead, not deep enough to be worth worry. The instant your bodies came to slack, his shikigami ran to you like little children lost in a supermarket. At this point, it was pratically multitasking, to pet both demon dogs while trying not to run out of breath having Orochi wrapped around your midsection. Megumi flushed over the affectionate antics, knowing they were a manifestation of feelings within himself.

Now, you and Fushiguro are spawled on the training field, neither showered, coated with sweat sticking to your clothes, but it didn't matter much.

"I never realized, just how many cursed energy do you have? It's surprising how many shikigami you kept our for this long time." Fushiguro heard you shifting to sit up, and followed you up.

"A bunch." It was not a creative nor informative answer, but you took it in with a smile on your face anyway.

He watched you get up to fetch a drink, careful to not trip over the shikigami also scattered around -- Fushiguro always 'forgot' to put them away next to you.

You handed him a strawberry yogurt box, the same drink also sat in your hands. "Well then, why are you spacing out so much these days? You can be honest with me."

'She's oblivious enough, I'm in need of advice, it's convenient.' So he thought, figuring if he disguised it enough, you wouldn't be able to tell. It's not a big deal if you did, though, saves time actually.

"Something's on my mind, and it troubles me during fights."

"Simple, you can just come in terms with it."

He glanced down, "Why?"

"The sooner the better, when you accept something, it comes at ease on your mind. I'm a hundred percent sure it works!" You gave him a thumbsup, slurping on the pink drink.

"Such faithful source."

"I'm sure it does! The thought keeps coming back because you're denying it, am I wrong?"

Not really, no. Fushiguro wants to keep it as friendship for the sake of your both careers within the jujutsu world; he knows it's dangerous, yet a part of him just wants to say 'fuck it', like if he had the guts to. The ravenette thinks it's a way too much generic way to describe what he feels, but it's the easiest, so he goes with it anyway. The back of his brain fears rejection, part of the reason why he hasn't made a move yet.

"I'll try it out."

"Good!" And you're always supportive no matter what, to the point it charms him more and more everyday.

For now, he's okay keeping it platonic. But, when the day after tomorrow comes, he just might confess.

[pidayforpi]

Reversal of Fate

(Put this here without context. Listen for...maximum anime effect...)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uSGMVBOQQKk

Ari watched in fear as the Three Caballeros were blown away by Felldrake's ominous shockwave.

Although the Aracuan Bird had been a distance away from the battlefield, he could already feel just how powerful the attack was. He couldn't bring himself to imagine how painful it must have been to be hit head-on.

The Three Caballeros lay on the floating rock, exhausted and disheartened. Slowly and sorely, Panchito lifted his head, Donald and José following. If it wasn't for their magical armours, the three warriors doubted they could still have the strength to keep conscious. When they did open their eyes, however, they found that Felldrake was nowhere in sight, much to everyone's shock and confusion.

Ari anxiously scanned through the distorted space, hoping to catch sight of their enemy, so that he could warn his friends of the incoming attack. In such injured states, they could not possibly take another impact.

But before Ari could open his beak and tell his friends to run, violet magic concentrated rapidly in the void just behind the three warriors, manifesting into the enormous form of the dark wizard. The Three Caballeros gasped in shock, as they simultaneously looked behind them, just to see their enemy raising a sharply-clawed hand, about to slam down on them.

"Die, Caballeros!"

In those few seconds, shorter than anyone but Ari could remember, it was as if time had paused, and space had turned monochrome.

His eyes widened in despair, tears long accumulated streamed down his pink, feathered cheeks.

Ari felt as though his heart dropped down to the deepest, darkest abyss.

"I...I can't do anything..."

Ari remembered saying the exact same thing just a few weeks ago, when Xandra came back alone from Mexico, bringing the grim tidings that the Three Caballeros had been banished to the underworld. Of course he didn't show anyone his tears. He never showed anyone his feelings easily.

But he did hold them in until he was alone, and then tried his best to hide his swollen eyes and tear-stained face afterwards.

Somehow, Ari still managed to put up a forced smile - and got away with it - when the nieces asked him to participate in an amateur séance to bring Panchito back. They didn't know how much it had hurt him, by asking him to take part in an obviously futile attempt to "save" his dead friends, and then having said attempt fail in his face.

Actually, that wasn't the only time Ari had said those words to himself, nor experienced that dreadful, helpless sentiment. That wasn't even the first time that had happened.

It had happened once, twice...and it's going to happen again. Right in front of him. And again, he couldn't do a single thing.

The ones he loved would be taken away from him, and Ari could only watch the tragedy unfold in his teary eyes.

"They were right. My luck with friendship is pathetic."

"My friendships never end well."

Ari remembered the sneering of the Amazon birds, mocking him for always being the lonely clown of the jungle.

The lonely Aracuan Bird, crying alone on the jungle floor, where no one could hear his weeping.

But hidden within the forest of memories, Ari also saw smiles. Bright, friendly smiles...of an old Aracuan Bird...an elderly duck...a rooster, a parrot and a young duck.

They were all smiling, calling Ari's name, giving him a warm, big hug...They accompanied him when he was the most vulnerable. They held his hand when he was lost in the sea of fate. They gave colours and meanings to his life. They were his family, his friends.

The ones he wanted to protect.

"And I'll change that!"

"What?!" Felldrake yelled in shock. Just when he thought he had finally got his mortal enemies, something intercepted his razor-sharp claws. "This barrier! This golden barrier...!"

Donald opened his eyes when he heard a loud clash but felt no pain. What was playing in front of him left his eyes even more widened.

"The magical barrier...It's the one that protected us back at the cabana!" Donald shouted, pointing his sword in front of him. Felldrake was straining to get through the obstacle with his claws, but the barrier kept repelling his attack, the two types of magic clashing together. "And the power must be stronger than before! Even Felldrake can't pierce through the barrier in his awakened form!"

"But...but we aren't at the cabana!" Panchito held his bronze spear in his trembling hands. "How did it get here?! José?"

Panchito turned to his parrot friend for answers, only to find him staring into the distance in astonishment. Upon looking at that direction, Panchito and Donald too stared in awe.

Clad in a golden armour not unlike those of the Caballeros, Ari stood on a floating boulder, his eyes showing his unyielding resolve. His attire resembled a mix of a warrior's armour and a sorcerer's robe, in a colour scheme that was magenta and gold intertwined: A pair of deep purple leather boots with tips of gold; A magenta velvet robe reinforced with golden metal plates; Topped off with a purple leather wizard's hat, decorated with a wide, gold-plated brim.

And in his feathered hand was a magic staff of pure gold, standing even taller than the Aracuan Bird. Its tip was radiating a magenta-coloured aura, as was its user, his scarlet crest flowing in the gale generated from the impact.

"Ari...my friend..." José whispered at the unbelievable scene in front of him. Ari held firmly onto his weapon, channeling his magic to the protective barrier standing between his friends and their opponent.

"The magic protecting the cabana...The barrier shielding the Caballeros...It was all the work of this little bird!" Felldrake growled in shock and frustration, the golden barrier showing no signs of even cracking slightly. "To think the old Coot had such a partner...!"

Ari bit his beak at the mention of his old friend, tears flowing out of his determined eyes.

"At that time, I left him...I let go of his hand, because of my cowardice...I wasn't there with him to the end, because I was scared..."

"But this time...This time...!"

"I will not run away...! I will not fear anymore...!"

"Donald! José! Panchito!" Ari shouted out amidst the commotion. "I won't let him break through the barrier! I won't let him hurt you anymore!"

The Caballeros were surprised, that the presumedly unintelligible Aracuan Bird could speak, and even more so that he spoke with such resolve and determination.

"Go! Friends!"

Then, they saw the magenta aura surrounding Ari spreading to each of them, changing to match the colour of their respective magic upon contact. It was a gentle glow, covering their holy armours and divine weapons, making them shine bright in vibrant colours.

José felt his fatigue and fear fade away in an instant, replaced with vigour and valour. The pain he had experienced melted away into the colourful magic, his injuries fully healed in no time.

José's gazes shifted between his two friends, their surprised expressions telling him they were also experiencing the same enhancing effect.

"This...is Ari's power...?" José turned to the Aracuan Bird, their eyes meeting each other. Ari gave him a nod and an encouraging smile.

"Thank you, Ari..." José tipped his silver helmet as a wordless gratitude, before grasping his scimitar tightly in his gauntlets. He looked at Donald and Panchito, both holding their weapons in ready.

With a powerful leap, the three warriors charged into action, the sorcerer supporting them from the side.

Ari held onto his metal staff, watching his friends return to the battlefield with a bittersweet smile.

"Gramps...Clinton...and the Caballeros..."

"You have showed me the light of hope...You have saved me from loneliness and despair..."

"And now, I'll be the one to protect...!"

Though his tears kept falling down, the firm resolution in his eyes was unswerving. He raised his golden staff, its magical gleam shining in the boundless void, bright as a supernova.

"I won't let anyone die in front of me anymore! This time, I'll save you all!"

"This time, I'll change that fate!"

(6-6-2022 ~ 9-6-2022)

[tezzbot]

applejack headcanons in a sort of timeline i have in my head based on the flashbacks/statements in the show lol this is gonna get long i apologise

aj is born in the sweet apple acres barn to bright mac and pear butter :D

we get the apple family reunion episode flashback where she is lichrally baby asking for apple fritters 🥺

she grows up a bit, just by family gene pool luck shes a strong little fucker and as she grows her family realises she's not just physically strong but strong willed too, it becomes a running joke that shes secretly part mule with how stubborn she can be :P

bright mac had a dog from when he was younger that he loved with all his heart, big mac loved him too but applejack thought was a grumpy old lump of a beast she just Did Not Like This Animal you know how kids can be lmaooo

applejack and big mac dont really leave the farm all that much, theyre homeschooled by their parents and granny smith so, generally they dont have that many friends their age in their childhood, they say hi and play a bit with fillies and colts they pass while helping out with deliveries, aj and rarity possibly have a few interactions through this but nothing really sticks at this point, they know each others names and thats probably it, the apple siblings are a big hit with usual customer and ponies who sell them things in the market

pear butter teaches aj how to play the guitar and she practices until her hooves hurt, her ma is very proud of her, they like to play duets when they have some alone time :] then, deciding to branch out from that applejack also picks up other instruments like the banjo and the fiddle, they find out she has quite a knack for music! (applejack is only slightly disappointed she doesnt get her cutie mark from it, but unlike applebloom would be in the future, she doesnt mind all that much, after all granny smith always said it'd come with time 😌)

not long after little applebloom is born we get the great seedling episode flashback which is a turning point in applejack, a moment like finding out santa or the tooth fairy isnt real, she matures a little bit that day, gains more of the work ethic we see in her as an adult

around this time is when bright mac and pear butter die :( i dont have a concrete headcanon on How they die but the dangerous trade routes the apples have to take to make deliveries may have had something to do with it, or maybe they were trying to protect the farm from something coming from the everfree forest, im not sure

the rest of the apple family make their way to sweet apple acres to give their condolences and help out in any way they can around the farm while our apples grieve :( its sad but it brings aj and big mac closer than they'd ever been

after shes recovered a little from that, i think aj kind of loses herself, i mean how can you not after losing both parents :(( so she decides to leave the farm in the hopes she'll be able to find herself again in manehattan, this is the cutie mark chronicles flashback and where she realises she belongs in ponyville, Runs home and gets her cutiemark

after a little bit, to help her become a little bit more social with foals her age, applejack goes to camp friendship where she meets little coloratura and the two Immediately click, aj gives her new best friend the nickname rara and they're practically inseparable the whole summer, their friendship starts to grow into something more but rara is heading back to manehatten after camp and applejack belongs back in ponyville, so they decide to give a lonb distance relationship a try, they manage to exchange letters back and forth for a long time, ultimately deciding a long distance relationship wasnt gonna work so they mutually decide to break up but still stay pen pals! after a while, the letters stop and they become just a memory in one anothers minds

sweet apple acres eventually returns to a business as usual state, with groups of relatives stopping by the farm now and again to give a helping hoof considering its now run by a late-middle aged lady, two children and a baby lol, applejack, while still doing a lot of tree bucking, is starting to take on a more maternal figure role in applebloom's life as well as being her sister, her and big mac feels more responsible and protective of the foal since she would be growing up with no ma and pa, they sort of took on those roles, applejack more intensely i guess i just see her as having strong maternal instincts embedded in her or something lol, but she for sure isnt "single mom"ing it, with granny smith and other relatives ready to take the little bugger when aj needs to get stuff done :P it takes a village and all that lmao

since at this time aj and big mac are starting to go into town more often and are free to do as they please as long as their chores get done, they start actually interacting more with teens their age in ponyville! applejack starts hanging out with fillies like rarity who she had known in passing but now could finally get to know and the cake's new apprentice and ponyvilles youngest party planner, pinkie pie

after starting to hit some awkward growth spurts as she reaches her teens lol, she starts taking an interest in the business side of the farmwork too, dealings with customers, looking into trade routes stuff like that, this is when the where the apple lies flashback takes place i fuckin love that episode please watch it, and this starts applejack's lifelong promise to never lie ever again which she keeps bc shes a legend as fuck <3

one day aj notices cloudsdale passing through probably to start preparing ponyville for the next season, and she hears a Thud coming from a row or two over from where she's working, she goes over to investigate to find a pegasus filly shaking off what aj can only assume was a crash, she asks if shes alright, n the filly is like of course i am im so tough toughest around actually thanks<3 and aj is internally like hm. this kids kinda annoying. they introduce themselves and applejack finds out rainbow dash is looking for her friend fluttershy, she likes to come down from cloudsdale to play with animals or something, but applejack hasnt seen any yellow pegasi fillies around so the little blue filly says thanks anyway and zips off at what aj can only describe as probably the speed of light, she somehow has a strange feeling this isnt gonna be the last she sees of this kid

she turns out to be right when shes invited to a happy visit to ponyville from cloudsdale party thrown for rainbow and fluttershy, apparently rainbow had bumped into pinkie while asking around ponyville for any idea where fluttershy and of course pinkie Had to make an event out of it once she had helped rainbow find her friend, the party was of course a lot of fun rainbow and aj somehow managed to turn every party game into a competition and despite their first impressions of one another they actually got along really well and gained a good amount of respect for each other, aj eventually found fluttershy sort of hiding away from most of the party and fluttershy actually opened up a little after talking with aj bc of how calming her presence was for her

over the next few years the five got to know each other quite well, anytime cloudsdale passed by rainbow and fluttershy would drop into ponyville to hang out or just say hi, and once they were old enough they moved into their ponyville houses and the five of them became just a regular friend group youd see hanging out on the streets of ponyville, fluttershy helps aj pick out a border collie puppy for help with wrangling critters on the farm (applebloom was getting too old to be sent off to mindlessly run after little animals all the time and she had started going to school so she wasnt around as much lmaoo) and just as a companion for applejack, she names her Winona :]

and then after those few years Twilight shows up! you know the rest from there :P

if i missed anything uhhh whoops<3 lol

[aminiatureworld]

Honesty

Characters: Kaeya, gn!reader

Word Count: 2,830

Warnings: None

Premise: Some habits just turn bad over time, and not matter how much we try they can be terribly difficult to stop.

In which Kaeya keeps to himself.

Author’s Note: This was requested by a lovely anon! I thank you once more, and I hope that this was as you envisioned it. Also didn’t expect this to be so incredibly long but I hope that’s not unwelcome!

Kaeya is one of my favorite characters to write, but I also find him one of the hardest as well. He’s very good at slipping through your grasp, and it can be hard to convey such an outwardly complex and flirtatious character without making him a cardboard cutout. But it’s also incredibly gratifying when you think you’ve done it well. I hope this is one of the times.

Non bulleted pointed version on Ao3

It wasn’t that Kaeya wasn’t used to attention. It was simply that he wasn’t used to your attention.

I mean Kaeya was hardly the most innocent man in Monstadt; almost everyone spoke of the handsome and slightly ill-behaved cavalry captain. Kaeya certainly did nothing to discourage the talk, or the flirting, not when it was so fun. It felt good to be looked at for reasons, well if not positive at least they weren’t in the same league as the notoriety he’d picked up otherwise. Disapproving citizens were certainly better than a disapproving brother, especially since said brother had a habit of parroting Kaeya’s darkest thoughts.

Of course Kaeya wasn’t looking for anything when it came to said flirtations. Not only because the appeal was never there, at least not in any legitimate sense, but because Kaeya secretly felt he was a bit of a burden, something he’d never even admit to himself. And no one wanted a partner with emotional baggage. If there was anything Kaeya was quite sure of it was that. And he hadn’t the time, nor really the ability, to fix all his problems, if he wasn’t permanently broken already. Better to keep away from any firm attachments, one that might ruin the lives of those around him.

This admittedly terrible conclusion was all perfectly fine in theory, but then you’d arrived and it’d all fallen to the wayside.

You were perfection to Kaeya, in more ways than he could count. He loved your smile, as well as the various other expressions you pulled, whether snarky or appalled or excited; he loved the way you laughed, even when you complained it sounded vaguely seal like at some points and like you were dying at others; he loved your every mood and whim, no matter how silly or reckless. He loved when you had a temper and when you showed more restraint than he did, he loved when you acted like a character you’d just read about and he loved when you later got embarrassed by it and begged him to forget it. The list went on and on and on, so many things did he love about you. Most of all he loved that you never seemed in a hurry, not that any of the others had, but the boundaries had shifted quite a bit this time.

So what had begun not so much as flirtation but as awkward friendship blossomed into something more, and Kaeya knew it. Not that there was any proper confirmation, but really was there a need? He told himself that the idea was ridiculous, no need to make things official. Besides, it wasn’t as if Kaeya had changed much at all. Indeed he’d done quite the opposite, determined not to let things shift in the way you two interacted.

Of course he’d excused his actions. After all, though the knight had many contradictory opinions of himself, of his actions, of his past, but they tended towards the negative. He was evil, he was cruel, a shameless opportunist and a failure even in that. Most importantly, in regards to the matter at hand, Kaeya tended to think that he was in no position to enjoy a proper and serious relationship; it wasn’t in him. He’d only bring disaster upon his head and upon the heads of those he loved. How could he let it happen?

That were what he told himself, what again and again he drilled it into his mind. And he ignored the small part of him that told himself it wasn’t any of that, the part which jeered that, if he were altogether truthful, the reason for a lack of meaningful reciprocation ultimately lay in the overwhelming fear he kept buried deep within himself. The fear of telling others about himself. About his actions, his opinions, his morality. The unpolished and deeply irritating bits that even Kaeya couldn’t stand.

But that was buried under too many layers of denial to play into what he was doing, and Kaeya had thoroughly convinced himself that his actions were for the good of everyone, yourself included. So the charade continue, with you saying more and more and Kaeya saying altogether nothing of consequence at all.

“Kaeya, what do you think of me?” You asked one day. It was a summer afternoon, the lazy kind, when all seemed static and half asleep. Kaeya was one of those things, and jolted to full wakefulness, surprised and ill at ease by the sudden question. You didn’t look at all upset, though maybe a bit bashful. The blush that dusted your cheeks and nose was the cutest thing, and if he weren’t so utterly afraid Kaeya might’ve wanted to tease you a bit, and see said blush grow a little bit deeper.

“What do you mean? You’re my fine adventuring friend.” He said, trying to relax once more, hoping the initial jolt of shock hadn’t been evident. It was hard to keep alert at all times around you, especially in what had just been such a relaxing atmosphere. But he had to keep calm and steady, suave as always. Who knows what might happen if not?

“Well I’m glad to hear that,” you began, cadence becoming a little slower, “I’m very glad to hear that. But, well, I was sort of wondering… if it might be a bit… different than that.”

“Is this a sudden confession?” Kaeya asked, tone light and playful.

“No!” You blurted out, gaze dropping. You started tearing at the grass slightly, but the action didn’t worry Kaeya too much. If it wasn’t a confession then it’d be easy enough to sneak out of, and then you two might go back to enjoying the afternoon as usual.

“It’s just…” you continued, staring intently at the ground “it’s just that I want to know. I mean I’m sure it’s obvious how much I care about you, well and truly care about you. You’re my closest friend Kaeya, but you’re also more than that. You’re my confidante, the first person I go to talk to about, well, anything. I said this wasn’t a confession, and it isn’t. But I want to know where we are. And I want you to be honest, what do you think of me?”

You lifted your head up, gaze piercing through Kaeya’s soul. He felt nothing in that moment but terror, the feeling of the ground suddenly giving way below him. What was he to say? What could he say? What did he think of you, the question seemed so simple but Kaeya found he couldn’t answer it, not truthfully. What you meant to him, well you meant almost everything. Kaeya loved you, loved you so much. He wanted to tell you everything about him, wanted to learn everything about you. He wanted to hold you in his arms and listen forever to your voice, to the things you had to say. He wanted to bask in your presence, to drown in it. He loved you, and he knew you loved him too; but it wasn’t that simple. He couldn’t do it, couldn’t tell you what he wanted to say, what you wanted to hear. It was for your own good, and, Kaeya was realizing very quickly, the idea of doing so, of confessing himself, of laying his soul bare, was something so utterly and completely frightening.

“Like I said you’re my dear adventuring friend.” Kaeya managed to get out, hoping there was no streak of falsehood in his voice. Picking up some of the torn up grass he scattered it onto your head, causing a groan of annoyance. Laughing at his childishness Kaeya steered the conversation towards another topic, hoping the former one would never come up again.

It didn’t, but Kaeya still sensed a change. It was gradual enough, indeed it was so gradual he hardly noticed at first. But eventually the change became too great, and Kaeya felt a distinct sinking sensation the first time he’d passed you on the streets on Monstadt and you’d done little more than smile, instead of running up like you usually did to ask him where he was going and tease him about missing work, sure that he was up to no good.

The initial realization having passed a bunch of little things came to the sudden forefront of Kaeya’s mind. Come to think of it you two never met outside of work anymore; gone were the days it seemed when you two would go for a walk after having sandwiches together, both complaining about the others work and wondering when you might ever have a break.

Gone too was the familiarity in some ways. When you two spoke now there was a formality, a distance that seemed to have popped up. You no longer asked Kaeya about his brother, and in return he stopped asking you about your own family, uneasy by the sudden loss of intimacy, and unwilling to be the one to break the barrier.

As the weeks passed by and you grew more and more distant Kaeya grew more and more frantic. He found himself thinking incessantly about you, about what you were doing, where you were going, whether or not you’d ever smile at him the way you used to, if you’d blush again at his teasing. A small piece of him knew that it was his own fault, and knew that it somehow connected back to the conversation you two had had in the summertime. But self-awareness doesn’t always mean change, and Kaeya still refused to do anything about it.

Then he started dreaming about you. He wasn’t sure why, you two saw each other less and less, and there was no reason for him to suddenly start these dreams, but somehow it’d happen. The dreams were mundane, painfully so. They were much like any other dream in content; the only difference being your presence. You were as before in his dreams, as if he’d somehow been able to rewind the clock, but only in his sleep. The two of you did this and that. You saved reckless Pallad, you rode Dvalin with the Traveller, you ran around the Winery, stealing glasses when no one was looking. Always you two were off, doing something completely normal, and always did Kaeya feel such joy that waking up felt rather like torture. He began to dread it, meeting you in his dreams. It felt painful, so very painful, as if he were betraying himself, as if he were betraying you too in some way. He shouldn’t’ve been dreaming of you, and yet he kept right at it, as if his mind were somehow unable to let go.

After three weeks of not seeing you Kaeya relented. He couldn’t go on like this, not one more moment. His work was becoming sloppier and sloppier, and he felt as if he hadn’t slept in years. He’d woken up in the middle of the night, so wretched from the whole situation that he felt like crying out of frustration. In the dark there was no one to pretend to, and he found himself staring at the curtained window, suddenly hit with his utter selfishness. He loved you, he loved you and you loved him, at least you had. And he’d thrown it all away, not out of any kindness or nobility, but out of his own fear, his own inability to be honest for even a moment. It was his fault that this was all happening, and as such he had to make amends.

He found himself at what had been your normal after-work meeting spot, leaning against a squat sort of maple tree. It was the perfect meeting place, far enough from the city to be picturesque, but close enough not to be a trip. Now Kaeya waited, praying to Barbatos that you might, by some miracle, appear.

Evidently the Anemo Archon was in a somewhat favorable mood, that or Kaeya was simply lucky, for he spotted you about fifteen minutes later, walking leisurely towards the tree. You weren’t truly paying attention to your destination, instead glancing in the direction of Cider Lake, expression slightly clouded. Turning your head you stopped dead in your tracks, shaking your head slightly, as if you truly couldn’t believe the sight in front of you.

“I…have something to say.” Kaeya began, not altogether sure what that was. Once he’d come to the conclusion that he was the source of the whole problem it became evident that the only was to solve such a thing was through honesty. But it had been so long since Kaeya had been honest, really truly honest, and he now felt awkward and slightly shaky, as if learning to walk all over again.

“What is it?” Your tone, though surprised, held no hostility in it, instead it seemed vaguely curious. The thought gave Kaeya a bit of strength, and he drew himself up a little more, determined to see this through no matter what.

“I want to apologize for how I’ve treated you. I haven’t… haven’t been honest. I think you realized that, indeed I think you realized it long before I did. But, now that I’ve realized it I want to say I’m so deeply sorry.” He paused for a moment, not sure how to continue on. “Do you remember when you asked me what I thought of you?” He finally asked.

“Of course I do.” You smiled slightly, though it didn’t reach your eyes. “You said I was your friend.”

“Well I was lying.” Kaeya’s voice was blunt, the flirtatious tone that he usually put on nowhere to be found. “In truth you mean so much to me, so much more than I could put into words. You said that you weren’t making a confession, but I am. I like you, no, I love you. You mean more to me than everything, than my past, than my work as a knight, than my shame I carry in regards to my brother. Being around you is like soaking in the sun, or gazing at the moon, and I took it for granted. I took your entire presence for granted, and I understand why you felt the need to distance yourself. Our friendship was built on dishonesty, all because I was afraid. I am afraid still, so very afraid, but I find what I fear more than telling you all of this is never having the opportunity to. You’d don’t have to reciprocate, don’t have to approve of anything I just said. But if there’s any little bit of you that felt as you did this summer I want to apologize to it, and tell you I feel the same.”

The silence was deafening, oppressive. For once Kaeya found he couldn’t keep your gaze; his entire affect, his personality, it was all gone, and what was left was raw and badly kept. Shifting his gaze towards the lake he held his breath and waited for your answer.

He felt your fingers glance his. Snapping his head towards where you were he searched your face for something that might reveal what you were thinking, but you quickly looked at the ground.

“Thank you.” Your voice was no more than a whisper, but to Kaeya it was a lifeline, the fact that he was able to hear your voice once more. “Thank you for being honest.” You slipped your hand into his. “And to answer your unsaid question, I do feel the same way I did when I asked you before. And this too is now a confession, or rather an assent. I love you Kaeya, I’ve never stopped loving you. And though I may still feel a bit hurt by your lack of honesty then, I only ask you this,” you finally moved to look him in the eyes, your gaze misted over by hope and joy and a hint of sorrow, “will you be honest with me now?”

“Until the day I die.” Kaeya breathed out.

“That’s all I needed to hear.” You replied, dropping his hand and flinging your arms around his neck.

Kaeya immediately wrapped his arms around you, burying his face in your neck. “Thank you” he whispered, over and over again. The fear that had once filled his mind was no more, instead he felt as if he were floating, kept tethered to reality only by your embrace. He was relieved, but more so he was happy, so unbelievably happy. You’d given him a chance he’d never give himself; you’d opened your life back up to him, and now you two might never have to be separated again, not truly anyways.

 “Want to know something?” Kaeya asked, tone playful, as you two walked back to Monstadt, hands linked.”

“What?” You asked, slightly curious. Kaeya smiled, before leaning over and giving you a kiss on the cheek.

“I love you.” He whispered against your skin. And he meant it. With his whole heart he meant it.

[robininthelabyrinth]

how about song lan/jiang cheng and a happy ending, please? 💖 thank you for sharing all your amazing fics with us!

Untamed

As they travel towards the Unclean Realm, Xue Yang bound and carefully watched at all times, Xiao Xingchen naturally gravitated towards Wei Wuxian, sharing stories about the woman that had been Xiao Xingchen’s shijie and Wei Wuxian’s mother. Jiang Cheng, distinctly aware that if Cangse Sanren had not died that Wei Wuxian would be – at best – a familiar stranger, kept his distance from that discussion.

At first, he tried to distract himself with Nie Huaisang, but apparently Nie Huaisang had exceeded his quota for interacting with other people in a given day and wasn’t interested in anything other than a long nap in the carriage (Meng Yao, who had been recruited for use as a pillow, had shot him an apologetic look over his head), so Jiang Cheng had to find something else to do. If he wasn’t occupied, he felt useless, like he was intruding somewhere he oughtn’t be.

Somehow, he ended up walking alongside Song Lan.

“It’s an honor,” he said, feeling stupid and awkward. “Your name is – renowned, and your ambition to start a sect based on merit is very impressive.”

“On friendship,” Song Lan said, and Jiang Cheng blinked. “A sect based on friendship. Merit implies that you must have skills or talents that render you deserving of a place; the sect I dream of would have a home even for those whose only skill is in delighting others with their company.”

“That sounds nice,” Jiang Cheng said, feeling unwontedly wistful. Sometimes it felt like he spent his whole life trying to win enough merit, to demonstrate his value, to manage to justify having been born as his father’s son – trying, and failing, while all merit flowed naturally and effortlessly to Wei Wuxian.

He couldn’t even imagine a sect where that wasn’t necessary.

“You would be a good fit,” Song Lan said, and Jiang Cheng turned to him with wide eyes. “You care deeply for your friends.”

“I – I do,” Jiang Cheng said, stuttering over his speech. “I’d do anything for them.”

“Even if they didn’t do anything for you?”

“Why should they have to do anything for me?” Jiang Cheng asked, puzzled, and Song Lan nodded as if he’d said the right thing on the first try without straining, which might be the first time that had ever happened to him.

Suddenly feeling deeply moved, Jiang Cheng acted recklessly: he strode forward and turned to face Song Lan, stopping in his path and careful not to touch him – he would’ve just grabbed his arm if he were Wei Wuxian, but he’d noticed that Song Lan seemed to dislike too-close contact, even from Xiao Xingchen who was as close to him as a brother, and he didn’t want to offend.

“I’d like to be your friend,” he said, bold and brave the way a Jiang should be, and then promptly ruined it by coughing and looking down and muttering, “I mean, that is, if you want. No big deal.”

Song Lan looked at him thoughtfully. It made Jiang Cheng nervous, feeling like he was about to be rejected, but on the other hand it also felt kind of – nice, in some fashion, to know that there were other people in the world who had to think about what they were going to say, who didn’t have a ready answer for everything sitting on the tip of their tongues like Wei Wuxian always did.

“I would be honored to be your friend, Jiang Wanyin,” Song Lan said when he finally did speak, and then he smiled.

There are those that say that the smile of a solemn man was the most beautiful thing in the world, and after having seen it with his own eyes Jiang Cheng was inclined to agree.

A moment later, as if by unspoken agreement, they both turned and continued to walk along the road to Qinghe. They did not speak further on that subject, turning to others, but it was comfortable and evening the way almost nothing in Jiang Cheng’s life was.

When they finally said farewell, he had no regrets.

Later, much later, when so much had happened that Jiang Cheng could no longer recognize himself and fate led them to meet once more, this time at the house in which Wen Qing was hiding them, Jiang Cheng chased after Song Lan again: he called out from his window after him just as he was about to set out.

“Jiang Wanyin?” Song Lan asked, coming forward to him with a frown. For some reason, his eyes seemed not quite right for his face even though Jiang Cheng couldn’t quite put his finger on why. “I thought you were still asleep.”

“Comatose, you mean,” Jiang Cheng said mirthlessly. “One of the needles got bumped, and I woke up a little earlier…are you all right? I didn’t hear much, but – you got injured?”

“My eyes,” Song Lan said, which accorded with what Jiang Cheng thought he’d heard. “They’re better now, though.”

Jiang Cheng nodded. “I’m probably going to die,” he said, trying for a matter-of-fact tone but he was pretty sure that he mostly ending up sounding scared. “And even if I don’t, I’m – I’m not going to be able to – to do anything. For you. I’d be totally useless.”

Song Lan looked taken aback, and then visibly softened when he realized what Jiang Cheng meant. “I told you before,” he said. “It’s friendship, not merit. You don’t need to do anything at all.”

That in all likelihood, Song Lan would never found that sect of his went unspoken between them.

It was just the way of things. Like Jiang Cheng probably dying the second the Wen sect finally caught up with them and found him, useless and weak as he was, without the golden core that he’d worked so hard on all his life. 

You couldn’t change things like that.

“Anyway, there are still Jiang sect disciples out there,” Song Lan said, and to Jiang Cheng’s surprise he offered his hand out to him. “You will gather them and reawaken your sect from the ashes.”

Jiang Cheng wet his lips. He wouldn’t, of course; he wouldn’t be able to, not without a golden core, without cultivation, without hope.

And yet…

He was useless. He should just die and be done with it, not linger around to act as a burden other people.

And yet –

Jiang Cheng reached out and clasped Song Lan’s hand with his own.

“If I don’t, I’ll come find you and join your sect,” he said, only half-joking. Who else would take him as he was now? “But if I do as you expect, gathering them up and re-establishing the Jiang sect…in that case, you come find me, all right?”

“Find you?” Song Lan asked, now truly surprised. “For what?”

“You said that friendship doesn’t have to be about merit,” Jiang Cheng said. “But just because it doesn’t have to be doesn’t mean you can’t bring merit into it. If you’re my friend, I’ll want to do things for you, if I can. If you can do something for me, then why can’t I do something for you?”

Song Lan thought about it.

“All right,” he said at last, and squeezed Jiang Cheng’s hand before letting go. “It’s a deal, my friend. Now lie back down and let me put the needle back into place for you. You need to rest.”

Jiang Cheng’s chest hurt – in a completely different way from his missing golden core and the scars from the whipping he’d received – and he nodded, retreating through the window.

“Don’t forget,” he said, lying down and letting Song Lan reach up to his forehead with the needle. “You have to let me help you, or else it’s not equal. All right?”

“I understand,” Song Lan said.

Maybe he did, because later still, when all the world had changed once again and Jiang Cheng wasn’t anything like the man he remembered himself being – after he’d gone up a mountain and come down renewed, had led an army and re-started his sect, had lost his martial brother and then his sister and then his martial brother a second time over, this time for good, and was helping raise his nephew during the half-year that he’d begged the Jin clan to allow him – after all that, Song Lan really did come to him.

“My friend,” Jiang Cheng said, clinging onto his arms a little too tightly. He’d almost forgotten that Song Lan existed in the wake of everything, had forgotten that there were still people out in the world who he called friend and who called him the same in return. “My friend, you’re here.”

“I said I would be,” Song Lan said, and hesitated. “I have a favor to ask. You said…”

“A favor? Anything. Well, within reason, of course.”

Song Lan nodded.

“I’m looking for Xiao Xingchen,” he said. “I thought I could find him on my own, but all this time has passed, and I still don’t know where to look. I thought – maybe –”

Jiang Cheng had power at his fingertips. He could order a search party – could order dozens – could set a bounty and have every cultivator and every common person in the whole of Yunmeng keeping their eyes wide open for someone of Xiao Xingchen’s distinctive description.

“Let me come with you to search,” he said instead. “Jin Ling goes back to Lanling next week, and I’ll be at loose ends for six months, bullying everyone in my sect with my temper.  They’d be happy to the back of me for a while. We can pick up where you left off.”

Song Lan smiled at him.

It was as beautiful as it had ever been.

Jiang Cheng felt his chest grow tight – he’d thought once that it was hurt he was feeling, but it wasn’t, it wasn’t hurt at all – and he coughed, not sure how to verbalize all of his feelings or even if they would be welcome. Maybe one day.

“Well,” he said brightly, forcing his way through the embarrassment. “Where had you stopped searching? We’ll start there.”

“There was a mountain path,” Song Lan said. “The road sign said that the next place to stop was a place called Yi City.”

“Yi City,” Jiang Cheng said. “Hardly auspicious, but I don’t see why we can’t give it a shot. And with me by your side, if Xiao Xingchen is there or if someone who has seen him is – we’ll find him. See who’ll stop us!”

[julyarchives]

Complicated || (M)

→ Pairing: Hui x Fem!Reader

→ Genre: Smut; Exes to Lovers.

→ Words:  3.7K

→ Warnings: Mentions of Alcohol; Spit kink; Choking; F and M receiving Oral; Fingering; Squirting; Power Play; Jealousy.

→ A/n: It took us a little longer to finish this story, but we are so happy with the result, so we promise it is worth the wait! Thank you 🐧 anon for this amazing request! We hope you all like it 💕

"And who's that?" Hui asked Yanan.

He looked at you across the room, looking like a deer caught in headlights. When you looked in his direction, a bright smile lit up on your face and you waved excitedly.

At first, he was confused, but when you got closer and greeted Yanan with a friendly hug, it all made sense.

"Hui," Yanan called him, but his eyes had never left you. "This is Y/N. She's my best friend"

Hui was well aware that Yanan meant 'don't try any funny business because she's my friend', but he was already hypnotized by you.

"Nice to meet you, Hui." you said, the way his name rolled off your tongue had him shivering, and you didn't miss the way he looked up and down at you.

You smiled at him, and he could just tell there was a little bit of mischief hiding in your sweetness. As for the rest of the night, Hui had made it his mission to make you smile at him as much as he could.

He was just mesmerized by you and used every excuse to have Yanan bringing you along on every night out, and inevitably you became friends. You got along, and hanging out together was way more fun than he first expected, and he grew to actually enjoy your company.

Yanan was constantly on Hui's hair, warning that you were not the type of girl he used to date casually, and would not forgive you if you ruined their friendship, and that's why it took him long to make a move on you.

It was actually you who took the first step, kissing him unexpectedly one night when you two sneaked to the kitchen for snacks while your friends played in the living room. It was a point of no return for both of you, the chemistry was undeniable - Hui knew everything you liked and you knew what to do to drive him mad.

You surprised him by showing that you were not the innocent girl he thought you were, and he was not a no-attachment ladies man Yanan had told you he was. The fact that you became friends first was crucial for the relationship, and it was the reason it lasted fairly long, but it was also the reason that it ended. You both recognized that you two wanted different things and were in different places, and it was best to end things before one of you got hurt.

That, however, did not fix the endless tension between you two.

Inevitably you didn't stop seeing each other, now that you had the same friend circle, and it would always end with one of you snapping at the other.

Tonight was one of those occasions, and you had your mind set on not letting Hui ruin your night. It was a perfectly good party, full of people, all your friends gathered in one of their houses, some acquaintances along enough to make the place full, and the loud music making everyone enjoy themselves.

Hui was there, you had already spotted him, but you were good at pretending he wasn't there, even though you could feel his gaze burning holes in the back of your head, but you just danced your worries away.

Making your way through the crowd, you managed to get to the kitchen and fix yourself a cold drink to cool off.

"Fuck, it's hot in here" you mumbled to yourself, using your free hand to hold your hair.

"Right?" A stranger answered, making your head snap in his direction, and you both chuckled at your reaction "sorry, I didn't mean to startle you."

"It's fine," you laughed. He was tall and had just the most adorkable laugh, and somehow you felt comfortable enough to start a conversation "I'm Y/N"

You reached your hand to him, which he immediately took.

"Shinwon" he leaned closer for you to hear him over the loud music

"Do you wanna dance, Shinwon?" You boldly asked

"Lead the way" he smirked

You gently grabbed his hand, guiding you two back to the packed living room. Getting there was the hardest part, only being able to enjoy his company when you reached the make-do dance floor. You could practically feel an intense stare on your figure as you moved closer to Shinwon but chose to ignore it for now. The new tall handsome man was giving as good as he got, dancing behind you sensually, following your movements. The dance was equally fun and sexy, the new company making it all too exciting for you. You could feel Shinwon's lean muscles behind you and you closed your eyes, moving with him completely. As you two turned and moved on the dance floor, you opened your eyes, feeling Shinwon's hand gripping your waist harder. Too bad you were standing directly into Hui's view, almost as if you did it on purpose. Which you did not but since life wanted that way, why not enjoy it.

The burning tension between you, the mix of annoyance and attraction always made you feel ready to burn him back, so that was enough reason for you to wink and bite your lip at him, grinding back on Shinwon's unsuspecting and welcoming body. You only could keep that up for a few minutes before Shinwon managed to turn you, leaning closer to kindly invite you to the rooms upstairs. It was what you needed to get your mind out of the fuming man sitting across from you, so you nodded with a flirty smile before holding his hand once more and leading the way.

Getting up there was fast and soon enough you were trying every door to check for any room available, giggling to no end when at least three doors were locked. The last door was in sight and you were sure it'd be empty, your hand ready to turn the knob when you heard your name being called. You huffed, watching Hui walking closer to you and Shinwon, the man looking at you confused.

"We need to talk", Hui said as he got close enough, his breathing hard and face a bit red.

"We don't, actually. You see, I'm busy".

"Cut the crap, Y/N. Get lost, man, I seriously need to talk to her".

"Oh no. Shinwon, stay. We have nothing to talk about!". Poor Shinwon was completely confused, looking from you to Hui, his hand slowly slipping away from yours.

"Um, Y/N", Shinwon turned to you, one hand carefully tucking a hair strand behind your ear. "It's okay. You know this won't be good if I stay. Yanan told me this could happen if I ever saw you…"

"What?!", you heard Hui shouting at the same moment you did, you not even sparing him a glance.

"I'll get your number from him and I'll call you, yeah?".

"I'm sorry", you didn't even know if you were mad or sad or even frustrated for being cockblocked by Hui no less.

"It's fine. Keep that room in mind, we may use sometime", Shinwon winked at you and turned to leave, nodding to Hui as he walked by. Hui didn't even look at him, his stare fixated on you.

You held his gaze for a few seconds before turning around on your heels and entering the room.

"Talk" you demanded, afraid that if you said more you would end up cursing at him.

"What the fuck was that little show downstairs?" He was already talking loudly, stepping into your personal space.

"I was just enjoying myself," you walked around him, bumping on his shoulders purposefully, hearing him sigh in anger. "Minding my own business, you know what that means?"

You grabbed the doorknob to open the door, ready to leave Hui behind to deal with his problems himself, but you had barely opened an inch when you heard his rushed stomps getting closer, and he grabbed your waist, turning you around and slamming your back against the door, getting it to close behind you.

"I highly doubt that winking at me while rubbing yourself against a stranger counts as 'minding your business', Y/N." He leaned closer to you, noses almost bumping, his hand palming the door trapped you against him. He "And I don't think that fucking someone else will make you forget me."

His eyes didn't stray from yours, and your chest was rising up and down fast - you just weren't sure if it was of annoyance or anticipation.

He smirked and leaned back, this time to whisper in your ear, his hot breath tickling your skin

"He can not make you feel good like I do." He nibbled your earlobe just the slightest "you would end up thinking of me"

He planted open mouth kisses along your jaw, small gasps escaping your lips against your will. You just couldn't help but melt under his touch.

"He doesn't know you like I do." He stepped forward, hips pressing against yours. "He doesn't know what a pretty little slut you are"

Hui ended the distance between you harshly, all his lust seeping through a rough desperate kiss. His hand immediately went to your hair, tugging it until it sting, but he knew you loved it. Your body responded to him like a magnet, you just couldn't help yourself but be completely gone for him.

He nibbled your bottom lip, sucking and licking it, humming in satisfaction with the feeling of having you altogether his. He trailed down your neck where he bit on the skin, licking the spot afterward to soothe, marking you as he was claiming you to him. His name started rolling off your tongue involuntarily, moaning every time he found a new spot to mark.

"That's right, baby girl" he whispered "keep doing that"

He cupped one breast with his free hand, squeezing it while he hungrily attacked your lips again. He started rolling his body against yours and you could feel the hard-on in his pants pressing against your clothed core.

He let go of you completely, and you whined at the loss of contact, only to have him hold your hand and walk backward until he reached the bed, where he sat on the edge.

"You know what to do, baby girl." He said in a low voice, and his hooded eyes watched you dropping on your knees in between his spread legs.

You looked deep into his eyes while undoing his belt and jeans, he leaned back, both hands on the mattress to support himself while he watched you. He bucked his hips up just enough for you to put his pants and underwear down, setting his cock free from the constricted clothes.

Your mouth salivated at the sight of his erection hitting his stomach, already leaking pre-cum. You wrapped your hand around it, using your thumb to smear his juices around, and he hissed at the contact, a breathy moan falling from his lips as you started moving your hand up and down slowly.

He reached one hand and grabbed the hair behind your head, making you look at him.

"I don't think you have the right to tease me, baby" he almost growled

"But-" you tried to speak, but he cut you short

"Ah-ah" he shushed, "I think we can find a better use for that smart mouth. Open up"

You sat back on your heels, opening your mouth like he commanded as he leaned over you, the grip on your hair still holding you in place, puckering his lips and you watched as the drool fell out of it, directly into your mouth.

Hui watched you swallow it with a proud smirk. This is something that only Hui could do to you, you thought, and it was just another way for him to claim you as his, and you could not imagine anyone else in this situation with you. It just reminded you how much you discovered about yourself in your innumerous adventures with him, and it was one of the reasons you loved that relationship.

Quickly shaking those thoughts away, you returned your focus to the current situation, as Hui ran his hand through his hair before leaning back, waiting for you to make your move.

You gulped in anticipation, taking his member in hand and waiting no time to take the head into your mouth, swirling your tongue around it and hearing Hui moaning lowly. You jerked him off, twisting your hand loosely around his dick, then hollowing your cheeks to swallow more of him. His hand twisted around your hair and guided your movements, making you bob your head just the way he wanted.

He bucked his hips and his member hit the back of your throat, making you gag, to which he responded with a loud moan, throwing his head back in pleasure. Relaxing and breathing through your nose, you let him deeper inside you as he kept bucking up to meet your movements.

When you were finally getting used to it, he pulled you away abruptly, breathing in heavily and watching you through hooded eyes.

"You were doing so good, baby girl, but I still want to fuck you senseless." He smirked. "And right now you're wearing too many clothes for that to happen. Strip for me"

Hui sat back and watched you follow his commands once again. Your eyes didn't stray from him as you unzipped your dress and let it fall off of you, proceeding by stepping out of your high heels. Once you're finished taking off your underwear, Hui stripped out of his remaining clothes as well.

"Now get on the bed" his voice was stern and his eyes followed you. "Ass up"

You got in the position without questioning, resting your head on a pillow

"Look at that, dripping just from giving me pleasure" he ran a finger through your slit, grabbing your butt strongly with the other hand, making you squirm under his touch. "Such a mess for me"

"Just for you" you mindlessly mumbled.

"Good." He slapped your ass, not too strong, just enough for you to yelp in surprise. "Are you still on the pill?" He asked

"Yes" you said shily

"Did you fuck anyone else after me?" He asked, his voice just as commanding as before, and when you choked on your words, embarrassed to admit the truth, he slapped you a little harder, making you hiss.

"N-no, sir" you stuttered and the name just slipped.

Hui chuckled pleasantly at your answer, his dick twitching at hearing you call him "sir", but you two could discuss that later because all he wanted was to feel himself inside you.

"Good girl" he praised, caressing the spot where he hit you.

When both of his hands held onto your waist, you felt him entering you, his thickness welcoming in your pussy, and you realized how much you had missed the feeling of him filling you up.

He didn't give you time to adjust because you didn't need it, choosing instead to pound you mercilessly, his length hitting the perfect spot inside you, leaving you a whimpering mess already.

"That's for you to not forget who you belong to." He dig his fingers in your waist, the sound of skin slapping skin echoing in the room "you're mine." He grunted "this pussy is mine"

You buried your face in the pillow, unable to formulate any sentence to answer him, just moaning and gasping at every thrust.

You reached one hand in between your legs, touching your clit to increase your pleasure.

"Such a needy girl, so impatient." Hui said "do you want me to make you cum? Is that what you need?"

All you could do was hum and nod in agreement. Hui sped up his pace until your walls were clenching and jolts of pleasure took over your body. You felt him leaning over you, pulling your hair and forcing you to get on all fours. You gasped when you felt his hand wrap around your throat, pressuring the right spot to constrict the blood flow. You closed your eyes and rubbed your fingers faster, taking you to the edge while he hit your g spot just perfectly.

He let go of your neck when you finished riding your orgasm, and you gasped for air, catching your breath again.

"You take me so well, baby girl" He praised "take it just a little more for me, ok? I'm so close."

He kept thrusting into you, and you clenched again to help him reach his orgasm. You felt him pulling out just in time to shoot on your back, covering you in his cum as he finished jerking himself off.

He made space for you to lay on your back, and kneeled on the mattress in between your legs, putting his hands on your knees to spread them wider. He gasped pleasantly when he noticed the glistening mess on your core.

His eyes burned with lust as he lowered his hand and inserted two fingers inside you easily, your hole completely wet for him. He didn't go slow, nor mattered the fact that you had come not 10 minutes ago, and his fingers pumped fast in and out of you, and he curled them, knowing exactly how to hit the perfect spot inside you. He watched you squirming, a moaning mess on the sheets, gripping whatever you could find to hold yourself.

Not having enough of you, Hui lowered himself, not wasting any second to get your abused clit in between his lips, and your hands immediately grabbed his hair, a cry of pleasure leaving you.

"That's so good Hui, please don't stop, please, please." Your voice came out desperate and whiny, and Hui hummed in response, sending vibrations down your core. "I'm not gonna last long."

He looked up at you and you could see him smirking in between your legs, then proceeding to thrust his fingers harder and deeper, licking and sucking your clit until your whole body was shaking and your legs were closing around involuntarily as you reached your high, calling his name in screams as he dig his fingers in your thighs to keep you in place as you just couldn't control your orgasm as he didn't stop nor slow down, and you felt another wave of pleasure run through your body, who spasm uncontrollably now, and Hui leaned back up to watch you come undone

"Touch yourself, baby" he demanded, voice hoarse and your juices coating his chin.

You immediately circled your fingers around your pussy, overestimating your sensitive clit as you climaxed again in a row, so intensely that your body couldn't control its spasms and you felt your wetness pouring and gushing out of you, as you just couldn't stop screaming his name.

"Fuck, baby" you heard his breathy voice as you squirted calling for him.

Your body went limp and you closed your eyes, your heartbeat ringing in your ears, and you felt Hui throw himself next to you.

For a few seconds, there was nothing. No sound, no movements, nothing. Hui was breathing hard next to you and you were trying to calm your own breathing but you knew that soon enough one of you wouldn't bear the silence anymore and leave without words. So it was a shock when a few minutes after the high wore off, Hui turned so he was facing you, even if you faced up, looking at the ceiling.

"Y/N", he called surprisingly soft.

"Yeah?"

"Do you truly hate me?". The question caught you by surprise, you dared say it shocked you but yet you didn't move.

"No, Hui. I don't hate you. I hate how you treat me".

"Um", was all he said.

"Do you hate me?", you asked back.

"No", he sighed. "But, like you, hate how you treat me".

"How did we end up like this?", you couldn't help the chuckle that left your lips at the absurdity of it all.

"I have no idea", Hui joined in. "All I remember was me being a dick and not wanting to settle and then you were shooting daggers at me every time you saw me".

"Oh man, I wonder why I did that". Hui laughed at that and you caught a glimpse of his pretty smile.

"Well, yeah. But it did lead us to amazing sex every time too".

"We had amazing sex when we were together as well", you spoke matter of factly.

"I know", he poked you, making you fully turn your head in his direction. "That's what I wanted to talk to you about".

"About what? Us?".

"Us together". Hui was watching you intently and you turned, mirroring his position.

"Talk then".

"I want to give us a shot. I want us to work this time". You stood in silence for a few seconds, lost.

"...why? Why now?".

"I've been thinking about it for a while now and I miss you. I miss not fighting every time we see each other, your company". He seemed serious and your heart was almost beating out of your chest by now. "And tonight was definitely my breaking point. Seeing you with goodie two shoes Shinwon made me panic out of fear of losing you forever without giving us another try".

You stood there watching him for a while. He didn't pressure you, once again showing how much he knew you. He knew you needed your time and he respected that. Truth is, your feelings for Hui never died, only fuelled the fire of your anger and attraction to him. Giving you another shot was risky but then, everything with Hui was risky and if he was willing to put all his cards on the table for you, maybe you could do the same.

"I want to leave this place", was all you said.

Hui nodded, defeat clear on his face. He got up and got dressed in silence, you doing the same but watching him intently the entire time. When both of you were presentable again, you stood with your hand on the doorknob. Hui was a step away from you, close but not too close, watching you with tired eyes. Your free hand reached out to touch his hair softly and he almost jumped in surprise.

"I hope you drove here. I came by uber", you smiled at him. "Oh, and I hope you still remember my address and my favorite breakfast place to take me tomorrow when we wake up". You laughed at his face as he nodded like a kid who just got his perfect gift. "And don't steal my covers while we sleep!".

[aka-ashi-keiji]

Hi love ! Here is my Shouto Todoroki OS request, quite simple, yet deep: in your opinion, what would it take for Shouto to actually comprehend, then acknowledge his feelings for reader ? Like, I love Slow burns and I think Todoroki's character is perfect for this kind of development. But I wonder how many time it would take him to realize what has been growing in his heart for who knows how long, in a canon way?

Or, to put it in a simple way: How long does it take to Todoroki to come to terms with his feelings, and what does he do about it ? How ?

Here it is, you're absolutely free in this request (But please give us a happy ending with lot of Fluff eidkdud). Thank you so much in advance, ILY ❤💖

Love Made of Broken Iron

Shoto Todoroki

Understanding love, best friends to lovers

One shot, soft angst to fluff

tw: mentions of child abuse.

a/n: this is for one of the kindest mutuals i have! @luluwiie i hope you love this, it was challenging but so so so much fun. hopefully this fulfills your gorgeous request. i love you!

You waited patiently on the porch as your uniform skirt moved with the early morning wind. The cherry blossom trees had just started to bloom and that fact alone was enough to warm the tips of your frozen fingers as your smile crept to your face. But nonetheless, you were freezing and it seemed as though your companion was running slightly behind schedule. You checked the time on your phone and just like you suspected, Shoto was running 5 minutes late to meet you outside his house.

“God shoto, how long does it take you to slip on a uniform?” You huffed out as you placed your phone back in your pocket and turned to knock on the front door. However, before you even got the chance to, it swung open and duel chromatic eyes stared back into yours.

“I’m sorry I kept you waiting, I made us sandwiches for lunch.” He greeted you in his usual calm but hard front demeanor. Instead of commenting about how cold you were and that he should’ve made lunch faster, you simply took it and placed it in your bag. With that, you both started your commute.

You and Shoto have known each other since you were young, but due to his own family issues you both had just recently become friends. As a child, you always admired his splitone features and the way his eyes lit up in two separate ways when he was excited. At age five, you thought he was cool. But now at age seventeen, you can’t help but think he’s absolutely and utterly gorgeous.

Shoto had accepted your companionship your first year of highschool. Both of you always seemed to keep to your desk and shy away from the large groups, that similarity between you two caused you to naturally gravitate towards him. Asking for his number and inviting him to get coffee with you after school was single handedly the scariest but best idea you have ever committed to. Because if you hadn’t done that, if you had just let that day during your first year continue as always and gone to get coffee by yourself, you wouldn’t be where you are right now.

Currently, Shoto is walking on your right, he always insisted on doing so, just so that he could put some distance between you and the street. Your hands wrapped themselves securely around his forearm closest to you, trying to draw from his warmth. Well, that’s what you told yourself. But, in all honesty you just wanted an excuse to be close to him, to connect to him.

It was embarrassingly obvious how in love with Shoto you were, everyone seemed to notice except for him. And you weren’t the only one to take notice of his beauty and fall for his contrasting features. However, with you it was different, you knew that your romantic feelings couldn’t be grouped together with all of his other admirers. You didn’t fall in love with Shoto just because he was beautiful, but because you were able to connect to him and see past that iron wall he fights so hard to keep up.

Slowly, over the past three years at UA, you found yourself becoming immersed with your own feelings, not entirely sure how to deal with them. Your first year wasn’t too bad, you felt the normal butterflies when he would pat your shoulder when you did something well, one of his only signs of affection. And your cheeks still dusted rose as he would greet you in the morning and compliment something about your hair or the way you wore your uniform. But your second year was drastically different. You had a mere teenage crush on Shoto during your first year, but the amount of time you spent with him the summer after allowed for your feelings to expand to new points you didn’t know your heart was capable of feeling.

The intensity of your love spread like wildfire with every passing day you spent with him in the summer air. You’d find yourself growing overly excited about study sessions you would normally dread due to you thinking summer was your time for a break. And you personally hated silent reading with people around, the silence was uncomfortable. But sitting next to Shoto in your own home, you both on the couch with your legs over his lap, the books you read in silence on those days, that silence was comfortable then.

And if your legs weren’t over his lap, your head found its way to his shoulder or his would fall to yours. His peppermint hair sweeping to the side and tickling the nape of your neck and also covering his observant eyes. But no matter how subtle the touches were, no matter how brief the physical connection, the fire within your heart only blazed warmer.

Shoto was notorious for keeping his distance, but he let you get close. He allowed for you to take part in his interests and he took time to explain to you what he feels and why these things bring him so much joy. He let down his iron wall with you, even if it was just a little. But eventually, you learned what that iron wall was hiding. You come to understand why he’s afraid of boiling water and why he flinches so hard when you hug him without warning. You learned the heart-wrenching story of the scar that covers his sapphire eye, and the damage that it caused and still tolls on him today. You now understood why he always insisted on hanging out with you and anywhere outside of his home. And knowing you could provide that sanction for him ignited your heart’s flames all over once more.

Deep down you wanted so badly to expand your connection to him beyond just friends, but something stopped you. This ‘something’ was so definite, it felt nearly physical. It was as if an iron wall stood between you two.

Shoto had never shown any romantic interests in you, but then again he never took notice of anyone in that sort of way. No matter how many girls threw themselves his way, or when countless guys tried to catch a sliver of his attention, he barely even glanced in their direction. And it wasn’t because he was trying to be rude or blow them off. He genuinely just couldn’t tell when someone was trying to flatter him, his social skills still not up to speed. Shoto was capable of feeling, he just wasn’t sure if he should feel.

You knew this first hand, all the hints you dropped about the flames in your chest never were picked up. He simply believed you were platonically complimenting him, that iron wall still plastered around his heart. And no matter how rapid your feelings grew, the fear of rejection always halted your confessions. You loved Shoto so deeply, but you cared for the strength of your guys’ friendship to a much more powerful extent.

One night during finals week of your second year, you and Sho had been studying nearly all day. It was a Saturday and it was around 10:30 at night. You personally were hungry and Shoto himself said he could go for a snack. A late night soba vender had just opened up down the street, seemed like the perfect spot. So you both threw on sweaters over the sweatpants you had sat in all day, texted your parents since they had already gone to bed, and just like that you and shoto were walking down the dimly lit street through the quantum hours of the night sky.

The stars were scattered abundantly that night, the chill that went through your spine with every gust of wind went merely unnoticed due to the night’s beauty. Your hand clutched Shoto’s bicep, he insisted on it as a precaution. It made you feel safer as well, knowing abductions had been more frequent and took place mainly at night. But along with the security it provided, it also warmed you from the inside. The manifestation of love in your heart turned to flames, and the flames seemed to ignite your senses and tint your cheeks pink. By your luck, Shoto didn’t notice any of this, he never noticed how flustered you became when you shared these small touches that seemed to break that iron wall. But, maybe that was for the better.

You guys had ended your commute to the soba vendor, seating yourselves at the counter and ordering respectively. Shoto had insisted on paying since he somehow managed to swipe his father’s credit card, but if it was Enji’s money, you really couldn’t mind. By the time you each had finished up your meal, the time was nearly 11:45. Your walk home was slightly more eventful than the first time around, you decided to take a detour through a park near a quiet pond.

Shoto’s feet dragged after yours all while you tugged his arm as you nearly skipped to the water's edge. You had a slightly more pep in your step than he himself, but that was nearly symbolic of you and Shoto. You two were nearly identical in the way you always held a calm expression, your short but precise remarks, and even in the demeanor you both present when you become even the slightest bit irritated. These similarities manifested from the tough love in which you were raised with, Shoto’s father being mainly all tough and no love. Your parents drilled it into your mind that anything less of perfection was utter failure. But the love he lacked, you still received to some extent as a child. and that’s what set you apart. You had the ability to skip through the night and feel the joy of the starlight reflecting off your eyes, Shoto simply watching and observing your ecstasy. Not entirely processing a feeling he sees now, but has never felt for himself.

Both you and Shoto came to a standstill at the edge of the water, barely any words had been exchanged since you left the soba vendor. The shoes you both wore began to sink into the sand of the bay. You leaned over the edge, Shoto mimicking your actions. Your reflections on the water surface rippled by the Koi fish that swam beneath. The light the stars cast onto their scales bounced back and onto Shoto’s eyes. His focus connected to the fish as it swam down stream and your reflections became whole once more. While his gaze never shifted, you found yours following the change of his features. You watched through the mirror of water as his eyebrows relaxed, the corners of his mouth weren’t pulled tight, but instead they tugged upward in the most subtle of ways. The flames erupted once more, rising from the ashes like wings of a phoenix, the feeling of love you forced yourself to keep inside was fighting back against your will. You averted your gaze in hopes the heat rising in your chest and your face would subside, but even though you stood at Shoto’s right hand, that wasn;t enough to cool the flames. He noticed your sudden change of focus through the movement reflected on the water, and that's when his focus shifted, shifted to meet yours.

When your eyes connected to the brown and blue of his, you couldn’t help but take notice of just how beautiful he truly was. The way his scar emphasized the brightness of his left eye, the way of how they sparkled just as the stars did against the pond you currently stood near. Your mind had become so utterly consumed by your admiration, his words of concern passed right through you.

“Y/n? Are you okay?” He spoke softly, the time of night affecting his tone. He waved his hand slightly in front of your eyes, breaking the trance you were trapped inside. His pupils were blown out a slight bit more, his eyebrows furrowed together like they tend to be. You nodded your head, bringing yourself back to reality. Shoto brought his hand down to your elbow, slowly ushering you back to the sidewalk. What happened in the following ten seconds seemed to span for eons. Shoto turned to walk back, still keeping his grip on your arm, gentle but stern. Before you could stop yourself your hand pulled on his shoulder lightly, his attention back to you. Your hand found its way to his chin and his grip on your arm tightened in the smallest bit.

“Wha-”

Your lips cut off his protest of confusion, your eyes squeezed shut as his eyes flew open wider than ever before. You hand caressed his jaw gently as his grip on your arm fell entirely. This connection and such deep affection that was poured into that single kiss was nearly three years of confined emotions, the crave and depth of your love finally sprung free from your soul. But as you enjoyed the brief moment, your senses began to override your heart. You suddenly remembered that what was between you and Shoto was nothing more or less of a close and two way friendship. You were the first to pull away, although the look on Shoto’s face when you finally came back down from your high, he looked as if he had pulled away first.

“Sho, I’m sorry. I don’t know what happ- I shouldn't have done that please-” You rambled on as you took a step back, shame replacing the flames that were there just seconds before.

“Let’s go home, it’s late.” He cut in, his voice possessing an edge it wouldn’t normally.

“Sho please-” you pleaded, but were cut off once more.

“Y/n, please.”

The way he said your name, the motion of his back turned to you waiting for you to follow, it was enough for you to realize this was territory that shouldn’t be touched. And so instead of trying to explain yourself or make sense of what the hell just happened, you both made your way back to your house in complete and utter silence. The street lights and stars your only guide through the wordless lack of warmth. For the first time ever within your connection to Shoto, the silence couldn’t even be described as uncomfortable. It was absolutely unbearable.

Shoto had made sure you made it inside your house before walking down two blocks to his own. The usual goodnight text you received, the reminder to actually sleep, never danced across your phone screen. The conversation labeled with his name remained silent and only held the traces of the goodnight text from the night before. You couldn’t recall crying or ever falling asleep, but you remembered feeling the dampness of your pillow as you woke up the morning after.

Monday soon rolled around and you were in the middle of gathering your things for school. You couldn’t deny you were nervous to repeat your normal routine of walking to school with Shoto, but you decided the least you could do was try. You packed an extra snack for him just in case, just as he did for you on days where you were particularly struggling. You were in the middle of slipping on your shoes when a knock was heard on the door. Your parents left for work before you even woke and so that left you to answer. You expected it to be your neighbor or a local vendor, but there he stood. His uniform nicely pressed, his tie nice and straight, and his hair perfectly parted down the middle, not a single strand of white mixing with red.

“Sho! We don’t have to start walking for another half hour what are-”

“Let’s take a walk. We should talk.” He stated quite plainly, turning and walking down the steps of your porch and waiting quietly on the sidewalk.

You quickly regained your bearings and your bag and made your way to his side as your steps fell in time with his. He began to lead you through a left turn when you two would usually turn right. This is the long way to school, you thought. Maybe he really did finally have something to say. You weren;t sure if you actually were ready to hear it. it all depended on how he felt about your affections. Your fear of rejection still failed to waver even after the act of courage you displayed two days before.

Without knowing, you were walking on Shoto’s right side that day, closest to the street. Shoto only noticed as you accidentally bumped his side as you moved away from a speeding car. Without a word, he placed his hands on your biceps and moved you to his left, putting distance between you and the street. Your breath caught in your throat as he did this, the action that was so natural in any other circumstance. But in this moment in time, it showed that the connection between you two was still there and it held through the tense air that filled the space between.

Suddenly, Shoto stopped. His movements stopped entirely just a few strides in front of you. You as well came to standstill, your gaze connecting to the back of his school blazer. Then, as if the world had suddenly started to move in slow motion, Shoto turned and faced you. His hands flew to the sides of your jaw, his fingers placed behind your ears and at the curve where your jaw meets the start of your neck. His lips crashed into yours, the force behind them angry but warm, much more force than yours had conveyed. He didn’t back away, his eyes were shut as his lips explored yours. The electric that ran through his fingertips and danced across your shoulders and down your arms, spurring into your fingertips. Your hands came up to grip the front of his blazer, trying to ground yourself and not disassociate from this moment. But as quickly as it started, his lips left yours, Shoto pulling away first this time. Both of you heaved, your chests falling and rising rapidly. Saliva glistened across your lips, your own pupils blown out along with his. He brushed his bangs from his vision, focusing his hazed eyes back to you. His silence was broken as he breathed out something similar to a confession and an explanation.

“Y/n I’m gonna talk. And let me say it all before I forget please.” You nodded your head and the intensity your eyes held was enough of an indication that you were ready to hear it all. Shoto was ready to let down his iron wall completely, and welcome you into his heart that was so sheltered it didn’t know what it was necessarily welcoming.

“Look, I’m so sorry for blowing you off and dismissing the kiss that night. I should’ve at least said something, anything. But please understand that rash acts of affection is something I don’t know how to process. You know me and you know how I grew up. The last time I was ever shown any sort of physical love was from my mother, and I was five when she was taken away. I had been feeling a certain way whenever I would spend time with you. My chest would tighten and it seemed as if my heart was going to leap out on my throat. I could feel the heat of my left side intensify, it spreading to my right whenever you smiled at me. I have never felt this way, I never have felt anything close to this. I don’t even know what it is, but it draws me to you. It’s as if I’m being pulled by an unknown force that surrounds you. And it scared me, I was terrified to indulge in this feeling because it was so strange to me. A knot was constantly tightening in my stomach, and when you kissed me it snapped. And it shocked me, the feeling shocked my common sense entirely. I don’t understand this and I don’t know why. I feel these things for you but my body isn;t capable of processing it. And I could see that hurt you, and I’m sorry. I- I just need time. I still don’t know what this is. I can;t say it’s love because I’ve never loved anyone. But I’m trying to understand it because I know one thing. I care about you and I want to always be there to care about you. I feel for you beyond the feelings of a friendship. Maybe this could be love that I feel, but I’m still trying to figure that out. What I’m trying to say is that I want to love you. I’ll teach myself how to do that. But please be patient with me, let me understand these feelings.”

As his voice trailed off, your mind held onto one specific detail he spoke about. It all made sense now. His reaction made so much sense and you cursed yourself for not realizing it before. Shoto wasn;t shown the same love you were as a child, therefore his heart and mind aren’t equipped to process such strong acts of affection. You were, you were shown that extent of love, even if it was just a little. His heart was completely overwhelmed, and his entire ability to reciprocate that affection was held back by those iron walls. Something you failed to realize was that those iron walls don’t only keep feelings out, they also keep his own emotions in. And that kiss that night broke the walls and those pent up emotions flooded his body, rendering him unable to explain his bluntness. It all finally made sense.

“I’ll wait Shoto. I get it, I should’ve known. But I’ll be here to help you understand those feelings. I’ll be as patient for as long as you need because I’m able to understand my own emotions. And from that I know that I love you.” You spoke gently, cupping his hand between yours, silietly promising to be there to help his iron walls come down.

And with that, you pulled him to your chest and wrapped your arms around his waist, his gripping around your shoulders. As you embraced, Shoto vowed that he would work to understand, work to tear down the iron walls around his heart, he would do this all until he could say he loved you too.

Back to present day, nearly a year later. You and Shoto had made your way to the UA campus, about to split to different ends of the hall. His arm was wrapped snugly around your waist as he pulled you closer. His lips connected to your temple as he mumbled something about remembering to eat the sandwich he had given you that morning. You simply nodded and hugged around his waist before he pulled away. You waved him off as he began to walk his own route to class. And before you started to walk your own way, you called out to him just as his back turned.

“I love you sho.” You said loud enough for him to hear, but not so much for everyone in the halls with you two to turn their heads. He turned back around, his bangs hanging low over his two toned eyes, his scar peeking out from behind as he smiled faintly at you.

Shoto waved to you subtly as he mouthed back, “I love you too.”

There it was. You could almost hear the crash of his iron walls fall.

He holsted his bag once more and disappeared into the crowd of your fellow peers. You also began your commute as you smiled extremely brightly to yourself. His iron walls had finally come down, and his heart accepted this emotion now as something it knew. Shoto only knew the feeling of true love because he knew you, and your heart expanded because you knew him. And you now also knew everything hidden behind the walls of his mind and heart. Your guys’ love entirely constructed from the broken fragments of iron that Shoto broke down piece by piece.

>>>>>>

a/n pt. two: gonna take the time to explain why i struggled with this piece. it wasn’t because i didn’t like the prompt or i didn’t have inspiration from it. it was solely based on the fact that i’m terrible at writing love stories! also todoroki is such a complex character and i haven’t completely analyzed him like i have with bakugou and deku and kirishima. that’s why this piece was a little rougher than ones i’ve written for bakugou. nonetheless, i love this story and id love to see shoto smile again :,)

[soramei]

Intentional - Part 3

Pairing: Bang Chan x Reader (she/her)

Summary: Landing your first real job at JYPE was something short of a miracle. You were prepared to face the new struggles of this elusive career whilst moving to a new country, however, nothing could have prepared you for him. Will stolen glances, secret touches, and hushed nights spent in the recording room ever be enough for the both of you?

Genre: idol!bang chan au, forbidden relationship, coworkers to eventual lovers, slow burn

Warnings: none right now, eventual smut

Word Count: 4.6k

Masterlist

A/N: INTRODUCING: I.N.tentional: Intentional, but told through I.N.'s POV! give it a read! itll take 1 min tops!

Taglist (reply to be tagged!): @planetdemon​ @hvunvely​ @fluffybitch0325​ 

last thing: welcome back hyunjin I missed you! skz ot8!

“Y/n,” his low and steady voice echoed around the pillars of the parking lot, “what are you doing here?”

“I’m looking for my friend.” You simply answered, slowly taking short steps backwards. It was best to not tell anybody that Yoojin was injured.

“Is she here? I’ll help you find her.” His eyebrows furrowed as he took quick strides towards you.

“No- that’s- it’s okay. I’m uhm, I’ll just try finding her myself.” You clenched your shaking fists. “Thank you for offering though.” You quickly added, not wanting to come off as rude to your boss.

“Y/n. Why do you keep avoiding me?” Manager Kim grabbed your shoulder with one hand. You felt the tips of his fingers dig through your jacket. The blend of cigarettes and cologne wafted past your nostrils.

“Manager Kim, please, I really need to get going.” You begged as you heard your voice start to waver. Why couldn’t the word ‘stop’ just come out of your mouth?

Manager Kim didn’t seem to care as he simply pressed his fingers harder on your shoulder, tightening his grip. He took a step closer, tipping his head down to look at you as he exhaled through his mouth. The stench of cigarettes became stronger.

“Yesterday, on your first day, I’ve been nothing but nice to you. Y/n, I am your boss. Stop avoiding me.” He spoke through clenched teeth. His words became quieter and quieter as his monologue progressed.

You had no idea what to do. It was obvious by now that Yoojin wasn’t in this parking lot as you would have heard her by now. The sun was setting fast, and the lot was basically empty, save the lot attendant — who was busy watching a movie on his phone when you first spoke to him. However, this attendant was your best bet. If you somehow managed to run past him, Manager Kim would most likely stop following you. This was your plan.

You quickly slipped out of your jacket, catching Manager Kim off guard. He lost grip of your shoulder, and the only thing he had a hold on was your now discarded jacket. Then, you made a run for it. You had only caught a glimpse of Manager Kim’s irate expression before adrenaline filled your muscles once again.

“Oh, you don’t run from me this time.” You heard him drop your jacket, then soon after, footsteps.

You didn’t have time to fixate on his movements as your only goal at the moment was to reach the attendant. You ran and ran, and after a short while, you saw the attendant’s post.

It was apparent that Manager Kim also noticed that there was another person nearby because you heard his footsteps gradually slow down and then come to a halt. However, you were too scared to turn back to confirm your suspicions and just kept running. Once you reached the front entrance of the parking lot — where the attendant was — you slowed down your running to make it appear as if nothing had happened. God knows the amount of slander you would’ve gotten in the office if you had gotten Manager Kim in trouble.

You tried to keep yourself composed as you left the parking lot, however, nothing could stop the uncontrollable shaking of your hands and the erratic beating of your heart. Once outside, your brain was in jumbles — what the hell just happened?

The wind nipped at your skin as you sprinted towards the familiar blue building. It was the only place you could think of to hide as you wait out Manager Kim. Usually, the man acted polite, if not a little standoffish, but there was something so sinister about his voice tonight that gave you an uncomfortable chill.

Finally nearing your office building, you held it out for a final push as you hurriedly entered the front doors. As soon as you were inside, you felt the adrenaline reach your body. You put your hands on your knees for support as you tried to catch your breaths. You still couldn’t process what just happened with Manager Kim.

“Y/n.” A hand touched your shoulder.

Instinctively, you flinched and wrapped your arms around your shoulder.

“Are you okay?” The hand immediately fell off your shoulder. You recognized this voice. It was Bang Chan.

It might have been the wave of relief rushing through you — or that you started to process what had just happened — but as soon as those words left his lips you couldn’t contain the tears rushing out of your eyes.

“Yeah, I’m okay.” You sniffed, turning away from him to wipe your tears away. It was so embarrassing that you were crying in front of somebody you just met. Moreover, you could sense people in the building starting to stare.

Bang Chan looked at you in confusion for a moment. “Did you want to take a walk? We can find a quieter place you can uhh…” He drifted off towards the end, scratching the back of his neck.

You simply nodded your head. Bang Chan gestured for you to follow him whilst making sure to keep his distance from you. You stared at the back of his hoodie as you mindlessly followed him in silence. He meandered through the building halls naturally and confidently, like he had been here his whole life. You sped up your steps to walk beside him, scared that somebody would somehow snatch you from behind. Bang Chan turned his head to check on you before continuing his trek.

He led you towards the familiar elevators that you took every morning so far, but this time, he pressed the button of an unfamiliar floor. This elevator ride was shorter than what you were used to, however you still felt the floating sensation that came with every elevator ride.

The elevator dinged, letting you know that the two of you had arrived. Bang Chan’s arms gestured for you to get off first, and so you did. He got off after you and started leading you to his destination. You walked in silence with your arms still crossed over your torso.

He kept up his pace, and soon, stopped in front of a door. Using a key card to unlock the door, he opened the door for you to go in first.

Although it was cozy, the room was small. With a desk on one side and a single black couch on the other, it was clear that this room wasn’t meant for a lot of people. You looked at the walls. Green, strange.

“Hold on, lemme just…” Bang Chan mumbleded as he rushed past you to the couch and tossed a shirt and an opened bag of chips out of the way. “Here, you can sit.”

You sat down. “Thanks.” You rasped.

“Did you want some water?” He asked.

“Yes, please.” You replied in a quiet voice, not wanting him to see that you cried — although it was really obvious by now.

He left in a flash, leaving you alone in the room. At least the door is locked. You thought.

The unnerving silence of the room left you alone with just your thoughts. Thoughts on Manager Kim, on how you cried in front of Bang Chan, of Yoojin. Yoojin!

You pulled out your phone and found yourself filled with worry again. You quickly dialled her contact number.

“Y/n?” A voice picked up in an almost confused manner.

“Yoojin, thank god. Are you okay? I went to where you said you were and couldn’t find you.”

“Oh my god, Y/n!” She suddenly bursted out. “I’m so, so sorry. I messed up the parking lot I was in with yours! I’m the world’s dumbest person. I don’t deserve your friendship.”

“Yoojin, it’s okay, mistakes happen. And friends always help each other.” You try to calm her down. “As long as you’re safe right now.”

“I am, thank you Y/n.” She sniffled. “But, you didn’t run into any trouble trying to find me right?”

You decided not to tell her about Manager Kim. She had a long day already, what with her injury. “I didn’t. You’ve got nothing to worry about.”

“Oh,” she said, “alright. In that case, I’ll go get some rest now. Goodbye Y/n.”

“Bye Yoojin, I hope you get well soon.” You hung up.

With Yoojin being safe, you had one less worry on your plate. However, now that you weren’t consumed by your worry for Yoojin, the only thought that you had was the looming threat of Manager Kim. What if he was still looking for me? You thought. What if he tries this on me again? What if I get fired?

The dark thoughts started to overwhelm you so much to the point where you couldn’t control your tears again. You put your face in your hands, silently begging yourself to stop crying. You were scared. Scared for your future, your safety, and your reputation.

“This place is so big, you’d think they’d place a few more vending machines…” Bang Chan abruptly interrupted your thoughts.

You flinched, startled.

“Hey, it’s okay, it’s just me.” He had that boyish grin on his face as he unscrewed the lid of the plastic water bottle before handing it to you.

You accepted the water and took a sip. “Sorry, I’m just—” You were scared to finish that sentence. If Bang Chan knew how rude you were to his boss, he could get you fired as well.

Bang Chan looked at you in confusion for a couple of seconds. “You know,” He started, “you don’t have to tell me what happened, but I’m here for you. We’re friends, remember?” He sat on the chair at the desk.

“Thank you, Bang Chan.” You smiled at him. “I appreciate it.”

“You have a nice smile.”

“What?” You knitted your eyebrows.

Bang Chan cleared his throat. “Nevermind, umm, do you wanna see what I’m working on?”

“Umm, sure.” You replied awkwardly.

Bang Chan got out of his chair and turned it around for you to sit in, which you did. He turned the chair around to face the monitor and leaned over you to log in to his computer. His bangs flopped in front of his eyes.

“This was that song I was talking about yesterday.” Bang Chan pressed a button, and a sound started to emit from the complicated looking software. It was a simple but nice beat, although all the audio clips and millions of random colours on the screen seemed to contradict that.

“There’s so many options on the screen, how do you know what you’re doing?”

“Honestly, it takes time to get used to. I’m still not sure what some of these settings do.” He scratched the back of his neck. “Do you wanna try it out?”

You nodded your head, eagerly. You had never seen something like this before. Bang Chan reached over you to take hold of the mouse. He scrolled through hundreds of folders before opening the one he was looking for.

“These are just random audio clips I usually use in songs,” he said, “you can drag them on the screen and it’ll be added in the song.”

You dragged a random audio clip to where he said so and clicked play. The song played, but with a very loud and badly timed bass in the middle. The both of you laughed, and you started to add more random clips to the song. Soon, the song became so cluttered with your add-ons that it started sounding unrecognizable.

“It’s so bad.” You laughed, turning your head around. Bang Chan was already looking at you. His expression was unreadable. You looked back at him.

Silence.

After a moment, you realized that you were just looking at him with no words. You cleared your throat, turning back to the monitor. “What if I add this one?”

You dragged a random audio to the beginning of the song and played it. As soon as the song started, the audio clip interrupted everything else. It was an incredibly loud audio of Bang Chan yelling ‘Stray Kids’. The two of you bursted out laughing.

The two of you stayed in that room for hours, just playing around on his editing software and with his equipment. He showed you how he made new songs, and how he would use his mic and keyboard to add to them. You even asked for him to play you some of the old songs he published. It took a long time to convince him, but he embarrassingly complied. The two of you were having so much fun with music that you did not realize how late it was until you remembered to check the time. That seemed to be a recurring incident for you.

“It’s getting kinda late,” you said. “I should go, I have work tomorrow.”

Bang Chan agreed, “I’ll walk you out.”

And so, you gathered your bag and followed Bang Chan out of his little office to the elevators. The two of you rode the elevator in silence, but this time, it was a comfortable silence. You didn’t feel the need to make any small talk, nor fiddle your thumbs.

You continued your way out, finally exiting the front doors of the building. However, you came to instantly regret that as a gust of wind hit your bare skin, eliciting a shiver from you. Of course, you didn’t have your jacket. It was lost in the midst of your run-in with Manager Kim. You reminded yourself to look for it tomorrow.

It seemed that Bang Chan had noticed. “It gets cold fast here this time of year,” he shrugged off his hoodie. “Here, you can take this.”

“No, it’s fine, really.” You said. “I don’t live too far anyways.”

“You can’t catch a cold on your first week of work,” he said, “I would feel guilty.”

Bang Chan shoved his hoodie in your hands. It seemed like he wasn’t going to budge on his decision, so you shrugged it on. It fit very loosely — the hem of the hoodie reached your thigh and you had to roll the sleeves up quite a bit to expose your hands. It was warm though. And it smelled like him.

“Thanks,” you looked at your shoes, “for this and everything else.”

“Don’t thank me,” he flipped your hood around so it wasn’t inside-out. “Friends, right?”

“Right,” you nodded. “I’ll get going now.”

You waved to Bang Chan and started on your way home, feeling much better than what you had felt earlier this evening. The journey home didn’t feel as dangerous as before now that your mood was lifted. The looming worry of facing Manager Kim eventually was still in the back of your mind, but you pushed the thought away as best as you could.

The train ride was soon over, and your walk home was very quick as well. Everything seemed to go so smoothly when you were confronted with imminent danger. You quickly entered the passcode to your lock and safely got in your apartment. You put your bag down and looked over to your kitchen. I didn’t even eat dinner yet.

It was already so late, but all you had in your kitchen were eggs and ramen. It wasn’t healthy, but it was something. You reminded yourself for the second time since yesterday to go grocery shopping. Maybe on the weekend.

You were busy cooking your ramen when you received a text on your phone. Looking over the counter, you read the text.

Bang Chan: Did you get home safe?

You typed a reply.

Y/n: Yup ^^ making ramen right now

Bang Chan: Ramen? I’m jealous TT

Bang Chan: I’m on a diet but when I’m off I’ll eat 5 packs of ramen everyday

You giggled at the text and typed a reply. Then he replied. Then you did, then he did again. Your back and forth went on for the rest of the night, even as you ate your ramen and brushed your teeth, only ending as you fell into a deep slumber.

The next day was an important one for you. Amongst all the other tasks you had given to you, you were to hand in the notes that you’ve been taking from others. This was especially nerve wracking, however, as you were to also pitch Bang Chan’s idea to Manager Chen.

Before you left, you remembered to bring Bang Chan’s hoodie. You quickly folded and stuffed it in a random bag. On your way to the office, you couldn’t help but feel it in the pit of your stomach. The anticipation of officially pitching ideas to your boss. Also, not to mention the possibility of running into Manager Kim again. You weren’t excited at the premise of that.

You decided to finish all your tasks before pitching all the ideas to Manager Chen. Plus, you wanted time to double check that you had all your notes together too. You straightened yourself at your desk, and with that, you started working.

It was tiring, but honest work. You worked hard today, only making time to take a lunch break. You found yourself smiling at your phone while eating your sandwich when you saw a picture of Bang Chan’s ‘diet lunch’ he sent to you. You took big bites of your food, happy that you didn’t need to diet.

Finally, after a long day of work, the time came to report to Manager Kim. You grabbed your notebook with both hands and slowly shuffled towards her office. Stopping in front of her door, you took a deep breath before knocking.

“Come in,” she said.

You opened the door, walked inside, and placed your notes on her desk. “Hello Manager Chen. I know this is too early to be giving you my notes, but somebody submitted a really promising idea.”

Manager Chen took your notebook to read through it, her hand on her chin. You listened to the ambient silence of the room. She was focused on your notes, nodding a few times as she flipped the pages. She cleared her throat, and you stared at her with wide eyes, giving her all your attention.

“You’re right. This content does look promising. It would be a bit rushed, but if we quickly start on it, we could produce it in time.” She gave you a look whilst handing your notebook back. “Type this up and make photocopies of it. This will be one of the main points of our Friday meeting tomorrow.”

“Thank you, Manager Chen.” You tried to keep a straight face when taking leave.

Hands clenched on your notebook, you briskly walked past all the cubicles over to the washroom. You tried to keep a straight face in front of your coworkers, but as soon as you entered the washroom, you couldn’t fight the smile on your face.

“Yes!” You whisper-yelled.

Your fingers immediately went to your phone to text Bang Chan, but you decided to hold onto that idea. It’ll be a surprise tomorrow, you thought. Instead, you chose to send a text to let him know that you had his hoodie.

Y/n: Are you in the building? I have your hoodie.

The reply was almost immediate.

Bang Chan: I stayed at the dorm today, you keep it for now haha

You assumed he was simply tired from all the work he had. There were probably multiple schedules and projects he had that were completely separate from the one you were working on. That is also probably why he works so late everyday. Not to mention being an idol was an all-day-everyday sort of career.

It didn’t take a long time to type up and print your notes. You finished your task by delivering the photocopies to Manager Chen’s mailbox, and since there was nothing else on your plate, you decided to head home.

On your way home, you reluctantly stopped by the parking lot building to look for your jacket. You asked the lot attendant and scoured through every corner of the lot. You had even tried to retrace your steps from yesterday, trying to block the memories of Manager Kim out on your search for your jacket. The search was thorough, but nothing came from it. That was a really cute jacket too, you sulked. Also, your lanyard was in the pocket of your jacket. You really did not want to apply for a replacement so early on in your time here.

You left the lot and left for the subway station, a little disappointed that a perfectly good jacket went missing. Although you knew it wasn’t your fault — and you certainly did not regret shrugging your jacket off to escape — it was still a shame that you lost it, now you had another thing to worry about.

At home, you had another ramen dinner along with some tea. Strangely, this was the only mundane night you’ve had since you started your job. You recounted your memories of the days prior. You cringed at your drunken activities from your first day and swore that you would never get drunk with strangers again. Tuesday wasn’t bad comparatively — it was the day you had coffee with Na-eun and Yoojin. And Bang Chan, of course. Yesterday was not a day you wanted to remember, although you did appreciate Bang Chan calming you down afterwards. He was a good friend.

Your night was slow. The majority of your time was spent mindlessly scrolling through social media, silently checking up on your friends back home. You also spent time texting Bang Chan. Somehow your conversations strayed from work-related over to movies, music, and everything in between. It was amazing how, despite being so busy, he still managed to stay positive. You admired that about him.

You started to get ready for bed. Before you went to sleep, you played scenarios of tomorrow’s meeting in your head, preparing yourself for what to say if anybody made you talk.

The next morning, you woke up bright and ready to go. It was the day of the long awaited meeting. That, plus it was Friday. You were nervous, but excited for today as this was the meeting where Bang Chan’s content idea could either be sent for production or tossed in the trash. All these thoughts were running loose around your head as you got ready to go to work. You dressed in your most expensive blouse and skirt whilst trying extra hard on your makeup.

You made sure to arrive at the conference room early so you had the option of choosing your seat this time. You weren’t about to take your chances like last time.

There were only a couple more people in the conference room who came early like you. You greeted them as you walked in, choosing to take a spot further away from them to avoid awkward interactions.

More people started to flow in as the meeting was getting closer to starting. You fiddled around with your pen, clicking it open and closed, when you noticed your friend come in. Bang Chan was again dressed in all black. He wore a beanie and a black hoodie that was almost identical to the one he gave you. He gave you a smile and a nod of the head before heading over to sit in the chair beside you.

“I had such a long morning,” he whispered as he placed a bottle of mango juice in front of you, “I love those kids, but sometimes…”

You mumbled a ‘thank you’ under your breath. “What happened?”

“One of them left a mess in the kitchen last night and didn’t bother to clean it,” Bang Chan rolled his eyes, “so I had to do it for them before leaving.”

“What are you, their father?” You giggled.

“More like their maid.” Bang Chan smirked.

The two of you kept up your small talk until you saw Manager Chen enter the conference room. A number of the employees, including you, greeted her. She returned your greetings and began the meeting. It seemed like Manager Kim wouldn’t be coming.

“Although this was meant to be a preliminary check up meeting, I want to bring up an idea that was submitted by one of our team members.” She started passing out the photocopies you made. “The idea was to film promotional content for our China project. Since the Mid-Autumn Festival is at the end of the month, if the majority of us agree to push forward with this, we should be able to plan, film, and produce this content in time.”

“Won’t we be short on time?” Somebody asked.

“I am confident that, if we rush the planning, we will have enough time for filming and production.” Manager Chen replied. “Now, what are some ideas that we have for this content?”

“We could turn making mooncakes into a competition,” you offered your idea. “They could spin it into something funny, plus, this competition could take up a lot of air time.”

Manager Chen nodded in response.

“We could go somewhere in the mountains to get a better shot of the moon,” somebody in production added. “We can also set up a lantern-making episode.”

The rest of the meeting consisted of even more brainstorming. Many ideas for the content were thrown out and you carefully listened to each one before making up your own opinion silently in your head.

Finally, it seemed like everyone’s brains were wrung dry as there were no more ideas being thrown out there.

“Now we can vote to either go ahead with this idea or scrap it. A show of hands for those who are in favour of this idea.” Manager Chen announced.

Hands went up. It was almost unanimous. You looked over at Bang Chan, eyebrows raised in surprise. He returned a similar look.

“Since the votes were overwhelmingly in favour of putting this idea into action, we will go ahead with the Mid-Autumn content.” Manager Chen looked over at the production members. “Our production crew will start planning right away, and hopefully, we can finish this project before the day of the festival.”

You were overjoyed. This is the first time you had say in a project like this. It was a nice feeling to be in a team and have your opinion valued.

Manager Chen ended the meeting soon after, and you said goodbye to Bang Chan, assuming he was busy for the rest of the day. You were also busy. You left the conference room and diligently started your tasks for the day.

At the end of the day, you were exhausted. The fact that it was a Friday afternoon just made you want to leave work even faster. As soon as it was time to leave, you rushed out of the office, not wanting to catch the afternoon rush hour.

The packed train ride felt so long as you just wanted to get home and rest. You soon arrived at your stop and hopped off before starting your walk to the apartment complex. The thought of jumping in your bed and doing nothing for the evening lingered in your head, making you walk just a bit faster. You hiked up the stairs, over to your door.

There was something placed in front of it.

It was your jacket. And it was completely ruined.

You slowly bent down, picking it up. It looked like somebody put a lighter over it. There were many burnt holes and tears on the jacket. Your heart rate sped up as you knit your eyebrows in confusion.

Standing up, you heard something fall out from your jacket.

It was your lanyard.

Drawn over your picture, in black sharpie, was a hoodie.

It was weird, yes, but what really made you feel nauseous were the two X’s drawn right where your eyes were.